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qqueenofhades · 2 years

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i do genuinely hesitate to ask, as i am sure i will find out more than i meant to in time, but atm my various feeds and an uninformed google are not telling me what most recently exploded about the british government, so if you have the time and the inclination i'm agog for your summary/take

HOO BOY. It has been a Things Exploding In the British Government day to the extent that in the hour-odd between my previous post and this one, I had to go back and check if anything ELSE had exploded while I wasn't looking. Everything that they are currently denying will probably be confirmed within the next 12 hours or less, though, so nobody get too comfortable.

Anyway, we all remember how Liz Truss succeeded Boris Johnson as Prime Minister, met the Queen, the Queen immediately fucking croaked which honestly was the funniest time she could possibly have done it, the country ground to a total halt for ten days, and then when it got going again, Truss and her chancellor (aka finance minister, for those of you happily ignorant of British politics), Kwasi Kwarteng, proposed a Thatcherite wet-dream economic plan of unfunded massive tax cuts for rich people, because something something Stimulate Growth. We are also generally aware that this crashed the pound through the floor, blew up people's mortgages and other mildly important bills, and did nothing to deal with the actual energy bills/cost of living crisis currently engulfing the UK. Oops.

After absolutely everybody, including the commie socialists at the Bank of England, screamed OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU MORONS DOING???, and the day after Kwarteng insisted he would absolutely remain in post and he had 100% confidence in the Plan, he... got sacked for creating this, the Plan that Truss had asked him to deliver and which had won her the Tory party members' election. This made him officially the second-shortest serving chancellor in UK history aside from the guy who literally died in office. Womp womp. That will be a pub quiz answer for you. You're welcome.

Having spent all this time hiding from the press, then giving eight-minute press conferences during which you could literally track the pound crashing in real time, and performing more U-turns than a dancing dashboard hood ornament, Liz Truss took a break from her busy schedule of conducting the Economic Disaster Waltz in the key of B Fucked to appoint Jeremy Hunt as the new chancellor. Jeremy Hunt is mostly notable for being a Tory who can put his pants on without assistance and being a genteel failure at all the previous cabinet posts he's held, which is why he is now regarded as a "safe pair of hands" in a party that has dissolved into a lot of shit-flinging coked-up gibbons who can only scream BREXIT BREXIT BREXIT and IMMIGRATION IS BAD!!! (Side note: they recently had to cancel a festival designed to "celebrate the freedoms of Brexit" due to logistics issues associated with, you guessed it, Brexit. That is not directly relevant to the current clusterfuck, but it is too funny not to include.)

To nobody's surprise, Jeremy Hunt then ripped up the entire economic plan and offered a new one, which was not measurably better than the last one but at least reversed some of the most egregious cuts, and which made everyone ask if Liz Truss had been tied up and duct-taped in the boot of a Range Rover and/or if Hunt had secretly staged a coup with the help of Larry the Downing Street Cat and taken over the government. Probably nobody in the Tory party would mind very much if he had, because they were all busy either planning how to oust Truss or publicly denying that they were indeed planning to oust Truss. One of the popular names for her successor? Boris Johnson! No, I am not making this up. Maybe this has all been a horrible dream and we're going to wake up and find that BoZo is back in charge, after massive public scandal for being a serial liar, which he had been from Day 1, finally made him resign. I repeat, what even the hell is going on here. Nobody knows. Meanwhile, Hunt is warning about even more budget austerity and "eye-watering" cuts to public services that can least afford it, because the last decade didn't result in quite enough preventable deaths for the Tories' tastes, and because they have been forced into this by a car crash completely of their own making.

....anyway. This brings us, more or less, to today. Yesterday, Truss refused to commit to protecting something called the pensions triple lock, which guarantees that old-age pensions (the UK form of social security) will rise in line with inflation, costs, or earnings. A) Inflation in the UK is now at a whopping 10.1%, and B) given as old people are literally the only demographic still willing to vote for the Tories, this miiiiiight seem like an even more unnecessarily stupid and self-sabotaging idea. Sure enough, U-Turn Number Eight Million was duly performed this morning, and Truss insisted she had always intended for the triple lock to be protected. But would Universal Credit and other welfare/benefits programs also be adjusted upward for inflation? HELL NAH! THOSE ARE FOR POOR PEOPLE! GROSS!

This, however, was only the beginning of the unpeeling of the latest idiot banana. Keir Starmer, riding high on the back of recent polls that have given Labour a 36-point lead and predicted that the Tories could be left with as few as 22 seats in Parliament if a general election was called tomorrow (leaving the SNP as the official opposition), appeared at Prime Minister's Questions and got to shoot fish in a barrel. Truss did not dissolve into a pile of goo on the floor and/or have a bucket of water thrown on her and melt into Margaret Thatcher, so that was taken as a win. Well, at least for two hours or so. Then Suella Braverman, the ex-Attorney General who had briefly run for the leadership when BoZo resigned, and who exists along with Priti Patel in order to prove that in the modern Tory party, women of color can heroically be just as much as awful xenophobic monsters as crusty old white dudes, resigned as Home Secretary. Did you even know she was Home Secretary? Neither did she. She took over Patel's job in a bid to apparently make Patel look cute and cuddly by comparison, as she is even more determined to do horrible things to migrants as much as possible. The official reason given for her resignation was that she sent an official document from her personal email account, and this had something to do with immigration and/or the Office of Budget Responsibility forecast that the Tories have, in the valiant spirit of freedom, resisted actually publishing for any of their current economic plans. CONSERVATIVES ARE GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY!! yell people on both sides of the Atlantic. Oh-kay.

Anyway, Braverman used her resignation letter to blast Truss for pretending that everything was fine and dandy, which means the BUT HER EEEEEEMAILS was absolutely just an excuse and even she wanted off this sinking ship as fast as possible. Grant Shapps is now the Home Secretary. It's not important. The point is, if more ministers start resigning, the government will probably implode just as it did when they deserted BoZo en masse. What the hell happens then? Fuck if anyone knows. Since they will, as noted, get absolutely cosmically annihilated if they call a General Election, the Tories will resist doing that with all their might (the next one isn't due until 2024, which is about 1004329 years away at the current rate that time is passing here). Truss was already elected by a tiny minority of the country (about 160,000 Tory party members). STICK RISHI SUNAK IN THERE AND CHANGE THE RULES AGAIN?? HECK, SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN! KEEP THOSE MUSICAL CHAIRS COMING, CHAPS!

(Also: we will recall the Daily Star's Lettuce Cam, where a picture of Liz Truss has been placed next to a head of lettuce to see if she is kicked out of office before it rots away. It now has a special companion, Tofu. This is because Braverman, just yesterday, gave a speech attacking the latest round of climate protesters as being spurred on by Labour, the Lib Dems, and the "Guardian-reading, tofu-eating wokerati," which she doubtless thought was a very clever line at the time. Because British Twitter is British Twitter, the Tofu: 1, Braverman: 0 jokes have been rife.)

And since we are still not done: tonight, Labour forced a vote on a fracking ban which was being treated as a de facto confidence vote in the government. Aka if the Tories voted for it, they would be considered to be defying the government. Because Britain is a cartoon country run by clowns, the method of Parliamentary voting literally involves walking through Door A for Aye and Door B for Nay. The "whips," or the people whose job it is to assure that party members vote according to the government's position, have thus been known to physically stuff recalcitrant MPs through these doors, because Hail Britannia, or something. So we soon had reports that the anti-fracking vote was, dare I say it, a total clusterfrack, and the Tory whips were literally throwing crying Tory MPs through the Nay door so they would Vote To Support The Government. This sounds like a beginning to a Monty Python sketch, but it is just another ordinary evening in British politics in 2022! (Did Truss herself vote? Or BoZo, Patel, or any of the other Tory big beasts? Nope. Evidently she was "too distracted" with all the other crises going on, which probably means she just didn't want to show her face or she might get killed. Hard to blame her.)

So: the fracking ban was defeated, Labour MPs were like "oh my god the sheer clownery," even Tory MPs were spitting mad, we soon had more rumors that both the Tory chief whip and the deputy chief whip had resigned (currently in the Official Denial stage, so yeah, that will be confirmed before tomorrow morning), and I haven't even mentioned the part where one of Liz Truss's press aides admitted that they used to lie about various relatives of hers having just died so Truss didn't have to do interviews (actual quote: "just aunts and cousins, not any major relatives!"). We all wondered if that wasn't actually a lie but the minor members of the Truss family had voluntarily decided to die rather than have anyone know that they were related to her. Either that or she just sent MI6 after them. It's entirely possible.

#rionsanura #ask #politics for ts #uk politics #i truly cannot explain the magnitude of this clown show #truly #long post

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cirtusmistress · 9 days

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JJK Bridgerton Inspired HC’s - Gojo, Geto, Nanami

authors note: so your girl is on a Bridgerton binge and a JJK rewatch binge so like.. I’m boutta cater to such a niche audience lmao

genre: historical romance

tw: a lil horny sometimes but ultimately SFW

AO3 Crosspost

💙 Crown Prince Satoru Gojo and The Debutant 💙

• A prince by birth and next in line for the throne.

• Well bred, read, and wanted most dead. Has lived through multiple assasination attempts.

• Was never really interested in the prospect of marriage, was more invested in rehauling the royal system as a whole.

• Likes to spend his time with the young royals and nobles like his ward Megumi.

• W H O R E. Chronic flirt. Smart enough not to accidently sire an heir but knows how to have his fun.

• Met you during your debut year. You were the first woman to actually catch his eye.

• First he thought it was just more sexual attraction, but after a dance and a conversation he knew it was much more. Your wit was unmatched and you had snark enough to keep up with him.

• Played it cool though because he knew if he gave you too much attention you’d have a target on your back, and he wanted to make sure you were his.

• Goes out of his way to see you as much as he can. Lots of ‘accidental’ run-ins.

• The moment that sealed the deal for him was when you near bested him in a fencing match. It had been so long since someone had surprised him.

• Though being under the eyes of the crown prince doesn’t go unnoticed. Soon enough other men began attempting to court you. Even worse, certain parties started conspiring to use you against him.

• This all came to a head when you were cornered at a ball. You were meant to be taken hostage and used to lure and kill the prince. But there was no corner of the world they could hide you where he would not look. His day started and ended with you and if they harmed you the world would burn in your name.

• You were found and rescued by him, and your kidnappers were dealt with in a swift and brutal fashion.

• He proposed on the spot. No hesitation he was on that shit. You were to be his and that was that. And you would never be alone again.

• The wedding was huge. No expense was spared and he catered to your every whim and desire. You were his gorgeous only ever.

• Honeymoon was.. Oh baby. Literally. You weren’t coming back without being knocked up.

💜 Duke Suguru Geto and The Viscountess 💜

• Of common birth and rose to the rank of Duke after the former Duke passed away. He was the only living male relative, hence receiving the title.

• A former friend of the crown prince. The pair had a falling out when Geto grew power hungry in his new role. He is still a respected member of the ton, though under constant watch of the crown.

• As a Duke he is in charge of a small township. He’s known for his high taxes and using his citizens to collect rare birds from the surrounding area. He keeps them in an aviary with clipped wings, and sells them to other nobility for profit.

• He once was in charge of two townships, but one mysteriously burnt to the ground. An investigation brought no results, but it did reveal two survivors. Geto took them in as his wards.

• He met you during one of his bird sales to the Queen. You were a member of her entourage.

• You were a young widowed Viscountess with two young daughters of your own. Your husband had died of medical complications, leaving you alone with no sons. Luckily you had favor with the queen, but with no husband and no heirs you were in desperate need of saving.

• He found your unwavering commitment to your children admirable and you two began a long friendship.

• Your girls all got along well, and you loved his daughters with all your heart. Something about you doing their hair and tending to them so gently made his heart flutter.

• The friendship did eventually turn into more.. Especially after you admitted you urned for more children.

• Enter baby fever Suguru.

• He proposed in his aviary, promising to love your children as his own, and to give you as many more children as you desire.

• Townsfolk said Geto became far kinder after your marriage.

💛 Viscount Kento Nanami and The Housekeeper 💛

• Kento was born into his role as Viscount. And he takes it extremely seriously. Balancing finances and planning events, maintaining a reputation for his family.

• Unlike other men in the ton he rarely goes out to gentlemans clubs. He goes on the occasional hunt though he sees it as pointless and barbaric.

• His goal was to find a practical match, not a love match. He wanted someone who would bare him an heir, so that one day he could rest knowing he had done all he could for his family.

• His housekeeper eventually was forced to retire after injuring her hip. She had served his family for over fifty years and raised him, so he ensured she lived the rest of her life comfortably.

• But.. That meant he had to find a replacement. Easier said than done. No one could live up to the former housekeeper. Plenty of maids were recommended but.. None of them felt right. So he put out a request.

• And then you showed up. Younger, so he was skeptical. But you came on high recommendation from her majesty herself. Apparently you were quite capable and able to handle the heavy loads associated with the job.

• And lord were you. No one could have taken this job more seriously. Not a hair out of place, not a meal late. Sheets pressed. Animals tended.

• And Nanami found it.. Oh so attractive. Your dedication. Your concentration.

• Nothing impressed him more than your skills in the kitchen. You were an amazing cook. Although it wasn’t a listed priority in your job, you still took time out of your day to prepare one of his meals. Usually his afternoon tea.

• After a few months, he was starting to grow fond of you. It was improper to feel such emotions for a servant. But he couldn’t help notice all the little things. The crease of your brow as you kneaded dough. The satisfied smile after a days work completed. The pensive worry in your eyes as you dotted on him in his study.

• Eventually he had enough. Forgetting formality for once in his life, he gave you his heart. And you returned it.

• It was a scandal, but he took it. Because having you made it all worth it.

#jjk #jujitsu kaisen #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru #geto x reader #geto x you #geto suguru #nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami kento #jjk hcs #jjk headcanons #bridgerton au

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darkblueboxs · 2 years

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Ongoing list of absolute shit we’re being put through for the sake of the parasite’s funeral:

-Shops, supermarkets, takeaways, restaurants, food banks (fucking FOOD BANKS) will shut. if Monday is your grocery shop day prepare to starve

-you have a non essential medical appointment that you’ve waited months/years for? Think again!

-did I mention food banks shutting? The things fucking starving people rely on to eat? Food banks?

- still have to go to work and rely on public transport? Uhhhhhh good luck with that

- if you’re supposed to be staying at a holiday resort like centre parks they will just… kick you out so they can shut.

- standing in the wrong place with a blank sign will now get you arrested, apparently

- fucking. The richest parasite in the commonwealth and we are shutting FOOD BANKS in her honour. FOOD BANKS-

-its been said before and not to labour the point but. People are going to freeze this winter because they’re unable to pay heating bills. People are going to DIE. Could we possibly spend this funeral money on them instead? n o p e

- oh at least when Charles gets all the queen’s money he’ll give back to the economy by paying inheritance tax on it- HA. HA HA. AND, IF I MAY ADD, HA.

-no, the multimillionaires will not be paying inheritance tax. They worked very hard to ensure that.

-F O O D. B A N K S.

#queen elizabeth #u.k. politics #king charles the third #i am. angry.

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nico-esoterica · 1 month

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"But Nico, I'm broke 😭" - 50 Money Affirmations 💸💴

Affirmations are just thoughts. All manifestation is is consistently thinking in your favor. I've been changing my thoughts around money over the past year and through out the turmoil and bullshit, what kept me going was constantly believing I'd always have money coming in and I was 100% correct. The more confident I grew, the more I'd make. I once rose over $600 on Twitter to support my ex best friend who I was a caregiver for bc I believed I could make it happen. I've also manifested $500 as a lump sum that I shared proof of on my old blog. This year I will optuple that (x8) and greater.

You don't have to use any of these. This post is just meant to inspire you to come up with your own so you can make this work for you. Idc how weird or repetitive they sound. I told y'all I'm moving different.

Btw, Revision is a method where you can erase anything from your experience by deciding it didn't exist. Works wonders on people dealing with trauma but anyway -

"Money comes to me out of nowhere."

"Money flows to me from all directions."

"Holy shit I keep making so much money."

"Money (fucking) loves me."

"Money is addicted to me."

"I've always had money." (Revision method)

"I'm a money magnet."

"I'm (so/finally) financially free."

"I can afford anything I want."

"Money never bothers me."

"I never have money problems."

"I have 0 debt."

"All my debt got paid off."

"I don't have any loans/I've never had loans." (Revision)

"My rent is paid / I love that my rent's paid"

"All my bills are paid."

"I never have to worry about money."

"Remember when I used to worry about money?"

"I love money and money loves me."

"I'm money's sugar baby."

"Money loves spoiling me."

"I was born to be rich."

"Being rich is my birth right."

"I love being rich."

"Money's my best friend."

"I never stop making money."

"Money comes to me so easily."

"It's so easy for me to make money."

"People keep giving me money."

"I keep finding so much money."

"I've made enough money to pay everything off."

"I have enough money to pay everything."

"I'm so lucky with money."

"Money serves me."

"Money's my bitch."

"Money grows on trees for me."

"I keep winning the lottery."

"Winning the lottery is so easy."

"My tax refund (is/was) so fucking high this year."

"Whenever I (blink/breathe), I make money."

"Money's addicted to my bank account."

"I get paid to exist."

"My money grows everyday."

"I'm the king/queen of making money."

"Remember when I used to be broke?" (Revision)

"Money keeps finding me."

"I never have to do anything to make money."

"Making money is effortless (for me)."

"I'm a m/billionaire."

"I make money like (insert rich person here)."

#loa #manifestation #law of assumption #law of attraction #money affirmations #I'm sewing intentions into this post that it helps countless people

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mbakuetshurisprincess · 1 year

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A Betting Woman

AN: Hey y’all! So I’m trynna do some palate cleansers while I work on BTB3 cause lord is that one just emotionally taxing to create lol. 80% of this fic is just Riri and Shuri talking about you and how they view you so there's that. This was heavily inspired by the wonderful work of @generallysapphic who is thee supreme when it comes to Shuriri postings. There's someone else who wrote a Shuriri fic but I can’t find them anymore. Just some cute shit to post fr. Set on a timeline where you went with Shuri to defeat Namor but Riri is a super genius.

Summary: Normally these types of moral dilemmas don’t bother Riri but after meeting your girlfriend, the queen of Wakanda. Riri decides to pay you a visit to end things.

Pairing: Shuri x Fem!Reader, Riri x Fem!Reader and the beginnings of Shuri x Riri.

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of D/S dynamic, kissing, i think thats it.

Translation: Sthandwa - my love , Entle - Beautiful & Usana - baby.

Word count: 2,864

Suggested listening: WILSHIRE - Tyler, The Creator.

“It's morals I really have, it's lines I could never cross But you got somethin' that make All them good intentions get lost I try to keep it together, never felt this way”

Riri knocked quickly on the door three times, rocking on her heels as she did it.

“Busy right now!” Someone called from the other side of the door. The genius didn’t know if the voice was yours or not but she didn’t care.

‘Oh no, that bitch did not.’ Riri thought to herself. She brought her fist to the door and knocked harder this time. Everything was always on your schedule and Riri was going to be damned if her ending this fling was on your time too. She heard some rustling around and the bed creek before the door opened up enough to reveal a person on the other side.

The person Riri was expecting to see behind your dorm door was you, it was your room after all. Instead, she was met by the exact person she was here to talk to you about, Shuri. The taller woman stood in your doorway leaning up against the post. She was wearing a black sports bra and a matching pair of black sweats with golden embroidery on the side. The sweatpants hung low on her waist and Riri could make out the band of Shuri’s boxers. ‘She’s a Calvin Klein girl huh,’ The thought came to the mechanic quicker than she could stop it and she mentally cursed herself for getting so off track.

“Riri Williams, right?” Shuri tilted her head to the side, allowing the name to roll off her tongue.

Riri’s eyes flashed over Shuri’s figure one more time before she finally pulled herself together. “Yeah that’s me,” She cleared her throat. “Is uh Y/N here?” Riri tried to look further into the room but Shuri blocked her movements with her body.

This unintentionally gave the younger girl an opportunity to ogle at the Queen’s perfectly sculpted abs and steal a glance at her waistline again, so she wasn’t complaining.

“No Y/N is busy right now, can it wait?”

Snapping back into the conversation Riri finally got back to her original plan. “No it really can’t wait, I’ve been needed to talk to her about this.”

Shuri pondered over Riri’s words for a few moments looking her up and down as she did. Riri wondered if she might melt under Shuri’s gaze. Something about the monarch was slowly starting to make her weak in the knees. She averted her eyes back down to the floor, once again sneaking glances at Shuri’s body as she did.

“Well I’m sure whatever you wanted to tell her, you can tell me and I’ll relay the message,” Shuri suggested. She had noticed the way Riri was staring at her and decided to play into it. “Is it normal for American girls to make it this obvious when they’re checking someone out, or is it just you?”

Riri snapped her head back up to meet Shuri’s eyes, “What!? I wasn’t- Why would you say that? No, I wasn’t! '' Riri slowly started panicking.

Had she really been that blatant in her staring that the queen would notice? And this was totally not what she came here for or what she had rehearsed saying.

Shuri relished seeing Riri’s cheeks flush with a dark red blush as she tried to regain herself. “Ah. No matter.” Shuri said with a smile. “What is it that you wanted to tell Y/N?”

‘No fucking way.’ Riri thought to herself. ‘No fucking way did I just get bested at my own game! Bitch had me stuttering over MY words when I came here to end shit with HER girlfriend. I can’t go out like that.’

Riri opened her mouth to speak, after brainstorming something logical like ‘No I need to talk to her in person.’ or ‘I literally have her location and know she’s here right now. I need to speak with her.’ All of those would have been rational things to say but instead what came out of Riri’s mouth was fueled by nothing but good old-fashioned Chicago pride.

“I’m fucking your girlfriend.” She blurted out.

Shuri tilted her head to the side and chuckled lightly before turning around and closing the door behind her. Riri was left standing in the dormitory hallway staring at the now-closed door. What the fuck was she thinking?? Telling the Queen of arguably the most powerful nation in the world that you were not just seeing her girlfriend, but FUCKING her? Surely that was enough to get her killed and probably in a way no one would know. She would just slowly fade out of the popular consciousness until no one remembered her name; all over some pussy. Great pussy at that, but still. She was roused from her thoughts by the door opening and Shuri standing on the other side once again.

“I know you’re ‘fucking my girlfriend.’” She said the last part in air quotations with a chuckle. “Are you going to come in so we can finally discuss this or just stand outside confused?”

The question caught Riri off guard and she stood there staring at Shuri, unsure of what her next move should be. She hadn’t planned for this at all. She had expected to come to your dorm room today and completely end things with you. Normally she didn’t have an issue with sleeping with people who were cheating on their partners. That was someone else’s moral dilemma not hers. But after interacting with Shuri today while she was a guest speaker at a lab on campus, the guilt started eating her alive.

Eventually, Shuri got bored of waiting and grabbed Riri’s shoulder pulling the small girl into the dorm room and shutting the door behind her.

“Come in and sit down.” Shuri walked back over to the bed and hopped onto it. When Riri didn’t move it prompted Shuri to speak again. “Do not act like you do not know her room entle, make yourself at home.”

Riri wanted to ask what entle meant but decided that was the least of her problems right now. She made her way over to the bean bag in the opposite corner of the room and sunk down into it. She could hear the sound of the shower running in the bathroom connected to your dorm and assumed that's where you were since your location had pinged as here, yet you weren't in the room currently.

“She shouldn’t take too long,” Shuri said noticing where Riri’s line of sight was going. “We can wait till she gets here or you can ask whatever you’d like to ask now.”

The younger girl shifted in her seat and contemplated what Shuri had proposed. “I’ll wait for Y/N to get out of the shower.”

Shuri nodded and picked back up the book that was lying on the bed. Riri watched Shuri intently as she read. How was she being so cool right now? Sitting in the same room as your girlfriend's lover would typically draw a stronger reaction out of the average person but the royal seemed to be in a very relaxed state.

‘Duh’ Riri thought to herself, it’s because Shuri already knew. She had told Riri already so her presence couldn't have been that much of a surprise to her. This thought in turn only raised more questions for Riri.

‘How long had she known?’

‘Was she upset with Y/N?’

And most importantly,

‘How much did she really know?’

Shuri looked up from her book and caught Riri staring at her once again, which must be a theme for the night. Riri cleared her throat and spoke. “I change my mind, I’d like to ask my questions and you answer them.” She paused, “Right now.”

Shuri chuckled at the girl's forwardness. “Y/N did say you didn’t have much patience, I see she wasn’t lying about that… Among other things,”

Riri swore when Shuri said it she caught Shuri looking her up and down. Shuri didn’t even give her enough time to react before continuing. “But go ahead, I’ll do my best to answer them.”

“How long have you known about us?”

“Since the beginning,” Shuri replied simply.

“And you’re not mad?” Riri questioned, sitting up in the bean bag chair.

“Why would I be?” Shuri questioned back with a genuine look of confusion on her face.

Shuri’s look of confusion was replicated on Riri after hearing her answer and seeing the woman's face. “Uhh, because while you’re in Wakanda saving the world and shit, I’m here with two fingers buried deep in your girl!”

“Just two? Normally she likes three but whatever works for you guys really.” Shuri’s sarcasm left Riri’s mouth agape and which only fueled Shuri’s laughter. Once she had pulled herself together Shuri apologized and said she would actually answer Riri’s question, earning a huff of agitation from her.

“You already answered your question in your question, entle.” Once again Shuri spoke coolly and used that entle word that Riri couldn’t understand.

“What the hell does that even mean!” Riri sucked her teeth as she spoke. “No more weird shit, no more nicknames in other languages, just explain this shit to me 'cause it’s not making any sense.”

Shuri nodded, understanding that Riri did deserve the full story. She wanted to wait for you to come out of the shower but the combination of not knowing exactly how much longer you were going to take and her sensing Riri’s agitation; she was compelled to speak.

“What I mean by that is you gave yourself the answer already. Y/N is here for school for most of the year and I’m kept busy looking after Wakanda. My love has needs that unfortunately due to the distance most of the time I cannot fill. She’s permitted to fulfill these needs in any way she chooses, as am I.”

Riri looked dumbfounded once again as she digested Shuri’s words. “So you’ve known this whole time?”

“Mhm.”

“About everything?”

“Pretty much yeah.” Shuri tapped her fingers on her stomach where they lay interlaced.

“Even the sex?” Riri probed. There was no way Shuri was just so chill about this.

Shuri was humored, sensing that Riri was hoping to incite an angry response. “Yes, even the sex. Of which I only heard good things about so I must give you credit Ms.Williams, you kept my girl satisfied.”

The blush returned to Riri’s face and she felt her lips creep into a smile upon hearing Shuri’s praise. Her cocky side came out and she decided to get smart. “You weren't worried I was gonna take her from you?”

“Oh, not for one second. Y/N’s collared, she’s not going anywhere anytime soon.” Shuri replied confidently. Seeing Riri’s confusion she moved her hand down to the necklace resting on her chest; holding it up before letting it fall back down. “Never noticed her necklace? I know she doesn't take it off.”

Riri’s mind flashed images of you and to Shuri’s credit in all of the scenes, a golden necklace with a small claw was hanging from your neck. Even in the ones where Riri’s head was buried between your thighs and your head was thrown back as you cam-

‘Focus Riri!’ She thought to herself.

“So she’s your submissive?” Riri clarified.

“Wow, you are pretty smart. Maybe you do live up to that genius title after all.” Shuri quipped with a smirk. “But yes, Bast has gifted me with an amazing girlfriend and sub.”

Riri desperately wanted to make a smart remark back at the royal but she stifled it in favor of getting more information about your dynamic Shuri. What she had learned thus far intrigued and turned her on. “And she listens to you, a hundred percent of the time?”

“A hundred and fifty percent of the time.” Shuri corrected her. “Does she not do the same for you?”

“Hell fuckin no she does not!” Riri exclaimed. “There is not a bone in that girl's body that knows how to listen, everything with her is a fight.”

“My Y/N? Never. She knows better than to even make me repeat myself.” Shuri was baffled at what Riri had said but also intrigued at the idea of seeing a more bratty side of you.

“I don’t believe it, she’s not physically capable of listening.” Riri tapped the side of her head to mimic how hard-headed you acted with her.

The sound of the shower turning off, signifying your arrival soon gave Shuri an idea. “Do you want me to show you just how well she listens?”

A smirk slipped onto Riri’s face as she picked up on Shuri’s idea. “Yeah I do, show me how well your girl listens.”

Shuri let out a puff of air along with her laugh and nodded. You stepped out of the bathroom looking down at something on your towel.

Let the show begin.

Your bathroom door was on the wall that ran parallel to where your bed was, so when you looked up you were first met with Shuri. “Whew! I needed that baby, I don’t think I was conscious for the first ten minutes of that shower.” You beamed as you made your way over to the bed, still unaware of Riri’s presence in the room.

“Of course sthandwa. And more to come tonight, you know that. We wouldn’t want to be rude to our guests before that though. Why don’t you go say hello to our friend.” Shuri nodded past you and to the corner.

You spun around confused at what “friend” Shuri was referring to and immediately alarm bells began ringing in your head. There sat Riri, looking calm as ever manspreading on your bean bag chair.

“What’s up ma.” She said with a smirk.

“Oh fuck no.” You murmured under your breath. Never in your life did you expect to mix your worlds like this. Sure both women had known about the other but never in a million years had you imagined them to be in the same room together. You instantly started moving towards the bathroom door, hoping to lock yourself in and formulate a plan without being under either woman's gaze.

Of course, Shuri calling out a strong “Stop.” ended all hopes of that as a means of escape. “Go give Riri a kiss, I’ve taught you better manners than that.”

You looked back at your girlfriend as if she had lost her mind. Yes, you had told her every detail about your relationship with Riri and described the sex in explicit detail. But to kiss her in front of Shuri? Something about that felt so wrong it was right.

“You know I won’t repeat myself without punishment, usana. Go.” Shuri gestured over to Riri who was taking the whole scene in. She watched as you shifted your weight between your feet, debating if you would listen to Shuri. If Riri was a betting woman, she would have bet her entire life savings at that moment that you wouldn’t listen.

Good thing Riri didn’t like to bet.

You walked over to Riri and gave her a small smile, slightly embarrassed knowing that Riri just watched you fold to Shuri. “Hi.”

“So you do know how to listen the first time?” Riri concluded, the smirk still on her face.

“Only when the right person asks me.” You maintained, crossing your arms across your chest to keep the towel from falling. Shuri heard your response and let out a light laugh and a “Be nice my love.”

“You heard what your girlfriend said though ma, gimme me a kiss.” Riri sat up in the beanbag chair awaiting you to make the move.

You looked back at Shuri one more time, kissing other girls had never been an issue for you before but for some reason doing it in front of her felt different. Secretly it turned you on to know that your girlfriend not only ordered but encouraged you to kiss Riri.

Fuck it.

You bent down and Riri pulled your face to hers so that your lips met. As soon as they touched Riri hungrily devoured them savoring the taste of you. By now you knew her style and you opened your mouth slightly so her tongue could come in and meet yours. Shuri watched from the bed as you two made out, turned on by the hunger you both displayed. She could tell the two of you were getting into it, Riri especially as she brought her other hand up to cup your cheek.

Deciding this was the perfect opportunity to prove her point Shuri ordered. “Step back Y/N.”

Once again if Riri could bet she would have bet her life on the fact that you wouldn’t pull away. You loved kissing and she could tell that you were especially enjoying this little makeout session by the way your chest was heaving up and down.

And once again it was a good thing Riri didn’t bet often.

You unlatched your lips from Riri’s and stood back up, taking a few steps back in the process. Riri’s eyes flashed between yours and Shuri’s unable to believe what had just happened.

“Told you she could listen.”

591 notes · View notes

soraviie · 1 year

Text

crushing on a friend.txt

━ type: bts x gn! reader ━ navigation

━ about: fluff + crack + some smut ━ pictures taken from Pinterest

━ a/n: [..] means an upcoming 18+ segment so if you're not a fan of that, feel free to skip. Just wanted to write something easier so headcanons it is

━ can be read as a continuation of "you're a friend of a friend"

━ previously posted on soraviii

NAMJOON:

art galleries, raspy laughter, late-night bike rides with your hands wrapped tight around his warm waist is what you must be thinking

and well, it is true

but the first thought that crosses his mind is:

"shit"

he's kind of a goof and the universe has conspired to make his life an utter hell

so mostly his grand romantic gestures crumble like a tower of wet, rotten cards

bike rides? ends up driving into a bramble

bought you flowers? ends up tripping and hurtling the bouquet underneath a car

but enough about Joon taking L's

so obviously the situation is not ideal and halfway he doesn't even understand these feelings he's slowly gaining knowledge of

has probably googled "heart fast rate why???"

(it's because you fixed his shirt, drama queen)

asks you to be travel buddies!

Switzerland, Chicago, Amsterdam, wherever he goes, he asks you to join

"It's normal to ask friends on a trip, right," he reasons to himself

loves to have you hanging around his hotel room

lays back on the bed with the TV in the background and talks to you about anything that comes to mind then

often has meals with you

late night snacks in the hotel room, dinner in a cafe abroad, breakfast brunch squeezed in between his hectic schedule

giggles a lot

giggles x 10 when drinks, say, on one of those late-night dinners

oh, 100% a giggly, blushing mess when dining with you and intoxicated; the whole world becomes so fuzzy and nice because he's with you and even if you're not together you're friends and enjoying each other's company

does get more nervous around you, to the point you can definitely spot the difference

becomes more silly, is more concerned about making you laugh

touchy

uses any and all possible excuses to grab you by the waist

bike comes too near? grabs you by the waist to "protect " you

you're in a crowded place? grabs you by the waist so you don't get lost

if you got a special interest and or hobby, does his due research and often brings up said topic

then gets that dopey look in his eye as he watches you rave on excitedly

like the kind that has cartoon hearts in his eyes

everyone can tell he has a thing for you

you're so present in his life that people have started calling you mini Mon :(

when he catches feelings begins to call you cute 24/7

because he likes cute things :(

even if you two are around common friends, sticks to your side the entire time and talks with you more than anyone else

asks you to take his Instagram pics mostly because if he's on a walk, you're there with him

if you've got social anxiety, frequently checks up and lets you know you can use him as a "get me out of here quickly" card

will immediately fake a yawn and go "this has been fun but I've got a busy day tomorrow, see ya"

you're breathing the outside air in under a minute if that happens

always assures you that it's completely fine if you want to leave; you shouldn't torture yourself for the sake of other people

(always wants to rub your back when this happens but he restrains himself, keeping his palm to his side even as it burns on and on to just reach, to just feel your warmth)

doesn't go to your place often but when he does it's healing

late-night talks with a drink of your choice

he doesn't want to trouble you too much but with a little bit of nudging he ends up spilling his worries and anxieties

listens thoroughly to your advice

if you don't know something, let's say about an art installation or how one specific tax works, always frees the time to explain it

you could have problems with registering for something and once he sees the message, puts things aside to voice message you on what to do

he doesn't call all that often but if he does you know he's missing you like crazy

doesn't say it, of course, he's not there yet to confess quite so soon but you can tell - his voice is gentle and deep, and he doesn't enunciate his words properly cause he's just so tired, but he couldn't sleep without hearing your voice

if you have the hots for someone, where before he would tease you about it, make some (savage) fun about it, now he's choked by jealousy

"you're constipated or something?" you ask him, peering dubiously over the table

"No, why?" with furrowed brows, he sputters.

"You're making a face. That face," you gesture vaguely around his envenomed expression. "You usually make that face when your gut stops working."

"It's working just fine," he scoffs. "You're just a gross little gremlin."

"Jeez, all I said was that the waiter is hot you don't need to - THERE'S THAT FACE AGAIN!"

if you have a partner...

please, just don't, 'cause this has been fun and it won't be any more

Namjoon gets sullen, he feels like he's doing something wrong, the very act of falling in love with you as he knows with unshakeable certainty you return home to someone you call love...

well, he'd rather just lay down in the snow and wither through the ground

so just, please, don't have a partner, he won't stop you, of course, Namjoon is perfectly aware he can't ask anything of the kind from you when he's keeping quiet about his feelings but still...it'd break him, not completely, but enough to make it hurt

plays with your fingers :((

always cuts it short with an awkward cough as though to suggest he'd done it without realizing it, because he's too wrapped up in himself to tell you that he's in love but still does it time after time

if you get along with Monie, he sulks

"He likes everyone more than me."

and if you don't...

then just scolds the poor thing lmao

"They mean well, why you're such a spiteful dog (-_-)"

[..]

has masturbated and thought accidentally about you before realizing his crush

afterwards, he couldn't look you in the eyes for 3 to 7 business days

not so rarely fantasizes about you while getting off and then immediately feels guilty about it

probably moans your name with praise as his eyes scrunch shut and he gets lost in the unfolding scene of his frenzied brain

ngl probably thinks of blowjobs a lot

favourite go-to fantasy is you making eye contact as your mouth is wrapped around him

sometimes he forgets about all the technicalities of what could be, what is and what he wants to be and lets himself slip

that usually involves compliments, tugging you onto his lap, giving fleeting kisses anywhere except your lips, saying he's better than whomever you find hot

straight up asking would you sleep with him

(has done so only once out of fear of scaring you away)

when hit with unbridled jealousy, puts his hand around your shoulder, and refers to you as "mine" despite knowing you will have questions about this he can't help himself

subtly checks you out especially if you're wearing something more revealing than usual

if you're showing signs of being flustered...

oh, boy, you're in a world of trouble

"come here," in that deep ass voice

if you want his opinion on an outfit, he 100% leans back and asks you to give him a twirl

likes to stare at you, not even thoroughly sexually but he just likes to zone out and admire you from a near distance

sometimes calls you "baby" mostly when thinking of something else and forgets you're not officially his baby, just one in his mind

YOONGI:

either takes the longest time out of seven to fall in love with a friend or the shortest, there's literally no in between

the type to find everything you do cute

he doesn't verbalize it but you can see it on his face

the enraptured smile he has around you!

might as well scream to the entire cosmos he's caught a bad case of feelings

incurable one at that

the easiest how to tell of his feelings is his enthusiasm to contact and/or meet you

calls out of the blue and plays it off completely casual

confused, you see the ID and pick up the call on one unassuming late evening

"Did you sit on your phone or something?" you frown

"Can't I sometimes check if you're alive or not? Is it a crime?"

ever think he's too cocky for his own good?

pull up the picture of him in the maid outfit - instantly humbled

but this works only once, afterwards, he just leans into it and says his legs look sexy or something

roasts you

he's in love with you but Yoongi will remain Yoongi

he's soft about it however and secretly enjoys if you give him back the same attitude

sneaky yet deliberate hand holding

frequently lets his hand brush up against yours

it's like a drug to him

does things for you (acts of service king!) like say, peel tangerines for you, cut up fruits, peel shrimp

shares his food with you, especially the things you like

if you're out eating somewhere makes sure they have your favourites

praises might be rare but you know he believes them whole-heartedly

once in every blue moon arranges a get-away, particularly if you've complained about being stuck at home too much

the boys all inspect him with big, wide eyes wondering what could he possibly need the weekend free for

"______________ wants a change of scenery."

"oooOOooooooooOoo _______________ wants a change of scenery ~~~"

they rip into him without mercy for being such a simp

and if anything goes wrong, when it's supposed to be p e r f e c t

he becomes genuinely upset

"Can I not get nice things just once? Just this once can something not go to shit!"

doesn't, of course, flip out often, if ever, just sometimes it occurs and he's very sulky

you can reach him 24/7 (he's always on that damn phone T-T)

will scold you if you have bad eating habits

"Turns out I have not one Holly, but two," he grumbles, shuffling through your door with a takeout in hand. "I have to make sure you're fed and with enough liquids. At least, Holly has cute ears."

"I'm not your pet!" peeved, you turn to glare at him, but Yoongi only shrugs.

"Could've fooled me."

hOld hIs HaND nOw

it legitimately twitches if yours is anywhere near

if he's not super tired, is constantly cracking jokes around you

definitely lets himself be more playful with you than at the start

when he's jealous, he just looks disgusted like on the brink of vomit

obviously, you don't receive an explanation as to why his face looks as though he was just forced to lick a toilet bowl

proper gentleman

patiently waits for you to get ready

subtle but frequent touching

fidgets a lot and stares awkwardly away, cause he's just so shy when it comes to you

"how many stares until marriage"

he'd rather die than admit that question is in his google search

off-handedly, tells you you're pretty

sometimes ties your shoes??

[..]

darts his tongue over his lips when he finds you sexy

also, gets this zoned-out look in the eye

like his soul leaves his body for a second

if you wear something rather fitting or revealing, he swallows nervously and rasps that you look good

it's not that he doesn't ever think of you in that way, wondering how would it feel like or that he doesn't not want to jack off to the thought of it, but more like he doesn't allow himself??

like he can let his mind wander and then realize the direction of where this is winding up on and he goes: "No! No."

this is the one aspect I think he would oppress quite hard

mostly because it feels weird for him to make these hypothetical scenarios and then look you in the eyes all without saying a word

almost in a way he pushes these thoughts off until and if you get together

that said has had a session with himself in which the main fantasy was eating you out on a piano, legs quivering around the sides of his head as you yanked harshly on his hair

JIN:

winks

constantly

subtly touchy

say, instead of holding your hand he shakes it

every time you meet, he's just like "welcome, hello." *shakes your hand*

lame jokes and wordplay about you lowkey dating him

clings to you like a koala if it's cold

particularly fond of back hogging

not hugging, hogging

try and get rid of him when he's in the clingy mood

does the absolute most if you're not paying attention to him

if you're on the phone when he's talking - will pinch you

sometimes breaks into your house

you wake up one day, wondering why the hell is TV going off at full volume

and you see Jin lounging on the couch, eating cereal (yours ofc) and tossing a casual greeting:

"You took your time. If I'd been a burglar, you'd be so dead."

crashes at your place when is his drunk giggly self

imagine JK's birthday live

but he doesn't leave lolol

so the thing is, he has joked about wanting to kiss you for a long time

teasing before, just being silly, without meaning quite anything

which guarantees him a sort of immunity now

as he still jokes about wanting to kiss you, maybe even puckering up his lips just to see your reaction

but where you think it's a joke, he means it oh so earnestly

responds with "you're cute" when you say something gross

"oh, I'm going to hurl all over these fucking stairs"

"ur cute" *cue drunken swaying*

constantly is hounding to get some drinks

maybe because it’s less conspicuous than dinner

maybe because if he’d see you, cheeks glowing in the candle light across the table

he’d have to have an untimely funeral

but jokes, of course, on him

cause you’re no less lovely sitting by a bar, laughing at his jokes, face and gaze flushed with inebriated joy

avoids eye contact like his life depends on it cause it does

you know of “hyung will do it” now get ready for “honey will do it”

quite possibly squabbles with you as he instantly jumps into things to help you out

shamelessly uses you as an excuse to not go out or get away from a social gathering

“Ah, you see,” he smiles, the fake little bitch. “__________’s tummy is making funny noises, better to avoid unnecessary evacuation.”

presses you for a crumb of affection but when you give it, vehemently protests - ears, neck, face bright fucking red

politely yet savagely rips apart any love interest you might have

“But who am I to judge?” he says smugly once finished destroying some poor stranger who made eyes at you

repeats your whining in a cutely mocking tone

goes off in your texts and calls if he’s even mildly annoyed

which is how you get the learn the precious knowledge of how Jungkook had his toe stuck in Jin’s asscrack for a fleeting second

the more resistant you are to play along with some of his jokes, the eager he is to make them

yes, your mortification provides him much needed joy

can and will literally come over just to do dishes and dip without any explanation

okay, so he’s over a lot

has a fruitless ongoing debate of why should some of his things be at your home

It’s for cOnVeNieNcE, says he

and not at all because he has the delusional idea that he can move in first and then become your partner

he’s your little house husband

constantly has gifts for you

especially when he visits, which, as mentioned, is all the time

often comes bearing fruits and snacks, but the presents have included and not been limited to - a jumper, a jacket, fridge magnet, shitty freebie, matching couple bracelets, tickets to a show and, of course, the most noteworthy - his own signed selfie

he hangs it up in the entry hallway

and, despite how many times you remove it, it’s always somehow there the next day

along with heavy stream of complaints about how unappreciative you are of being friends with a superstar

jokes this time on you, he thinks you’re the star

nap in his presence and be prepared to be made fun of, bothered and getting air blown in your ear

sometimes lets his intrusive thoughts win and bites your hand

cooks for you and makes such a fuss about it

even as you point out he’s not fucking invisible and you can, in fact, see his grin spreading from cheek to cheek

[..]

much like Yoongi, it’s not that Jin’s the innocent soul out there and lives without harbouring a single impure thought about you

that’s not the case

but more so he simply does not allow himself to often venture there

it’s not polite first of all and second, he doesn't wield the best poker face against you

but if he lets himself wander…

oh boy, imagine it nasty, imagine it wild, and with no small amount of soft domming

just for the sheer torture, he might not touch himself at all and just think of scenarios

is particularly fond of overstimulating fantasy and you pleading out to him in soft whimpers, clutching at his broad shoulders

that fantasy wholly fulfils his wish to be needed and it’s a secret pleasure of his

hearing fantasy you praising him about how he’s taking care of you like no one else…

well, it makes his entire skin burn as though fevered

sometimes his fantasies include light bondage and food play, both on you and him

has cracked a sharp smirk imagining how would it feel like to be tied to the bedpost and be had in your way - scratched, marked, absolutely drained dry and punished

in those scenarios, he always imagines you jealous

he likes thinking about you being jealous

it ties back to the being needed wish fulfilment of his

Jin himself doesn’t often get jealous but when he does he becomes authoritative

guides you away from the conversation; firmly puts down all your protests and points out why that person is no good for you

sometimes whispers in your ear to do something without whining

that is the riskiest he’ll get

but that inquisitive line of whether you’d obey his order or be a brat fuels him like no other

HOSEOK:

the only one whose feelings are not in fact typed in 108-size letters on his face, in bold print, mind you

so out of all the boys, he would be capable of keeping up the front for years

and quite believably so

he thinks about it a lot - what would happen if he did confess, what if he didn’t, would it change anything?

but that currently is only for him to know

what he shows to you is exactly what you make him - the best of himself

sometimes you see how sulky and depressed he becomes, but it’s not as much as he puts a facade in front of you when that frown turns it to smile

(well, partially it does but he also knows you can see right through his masks, that’s why you’re so scary; so scary and lovely at the same time)

it’s not so much of a pretence as much as he genuinely feels his heart lighten whenever you’re around

is deathly afraid of disappointing you and maybe it does make a foundation on why he doesn’t come outright about his feelings

but that’s the story for another time

in this situation, it means, however, you are an exclusive guest of his world

no, not guest - citizen

quietly consults you on things that he struggles with and in return earnestly listens to yours

becomes a glue in your life

whenever something threatens to chip off, be it your confidence, your stability or financial state, he’s first in line to help

holiday periods are the most stressful time

because he’s always searching for the best possible gift for you

it has to be p e r f e c t

perfect gift for his perfect person

which is why he collects detailed mental notes about everything you say you want and/or need

and along with that never fails to gift something handmade

pots, jewellery, even if it’s something stupid like a worm figurine, you know he meant it explicitly for you and tried his very best

actually doing those things in his free time is a stress relief

because when he’s there, in the dark studio, alone and buckling under pressure, the thought of your smile is the only thing that keeps him from snapping completely

has picked up knitting solely to make you some mittens

now, look me in the eye and tell me that the image of Hoseok dripped out in an absolute rockstar of an outfit knitting a bright yarn with a focused expression doesn’t melt your heart

often calls you after award ceremonies, shows, concerts, flights

voice tired and fragile; he just needs some comfort

so largely a late-night phone call is a semi-routine

but when you meet, Hobi has no time to rest - it's time to feed and care for you

has a thing for offering you food

doesn’t flirt often but when he does…

…loses all shame

usually laughs afterwards to brush it off

at times, gets really nervous around you

notably in settings that make one think this is a date

bounces his knee like crazy if you’re sitting near him and he can feel the warmth radiating off your body

*opens up one button of his shirt* you’re interested in this ;)?

pretty much allows you to do anything you want

loves to style you

falls for your traps all the time

you can pout and whine, and he’ll get anything

will drop everything if you call him crying

pays so much attention to all your details he prepares things before you even arrive and/or ask for them

say, you’ve been sneezing a lot, has tissues nearby

say, you’ve got a hydrating schedule, pours you a glass of water before you even get up to do it

invites you to places all the time

even if he knows you’re going to decline

the point is he’ll always be there to greet and hang out with you

actually battles with you when you put yourself down

all the things you point out as ugly, he reframes as “cute”

has taken about a thousand of your pictures

for one week he made one as his lock screen but then changed it out of fear you’d notice

at times, he holds your face in his palms

for a short amount of time but it makes both of you feel butterflies

gives the dryest, most judgmental look to whomever tries to make a pass at you

he doesn’t even say anything merely one look can make a person lose all their self worth

often invites you to dance, always assuring that you don’t need to be coordinated or anything, he just wants you to enjoy yourself

[..]

gets off on the thought of you quite regularly

has literal library of fantasies about you

most of them downright nasty

filthy and rough is his go to

including but not limited to, fucking you in doggystyle and holding your arms crossed behind your back

has a thing for smudged mascara streaks

and probably spitting in your mouth

at his horniest, imagines a sloppy blowjob, pushing your head down on his cock and hearing you gag repeatedly

very much is driven by hard domming and allowing himself to feel like you’re his

which, of course, does hollow him out a bit when he realises the stark opposite in reality

he doesn’t exactly have a problem about picturing you in various dirty scenarios

as, no matter what he imagines, he never ever projects it onto you - he fully realises this is his own mind and he’s intended to keep all these fantasies there

even if you got together I don’t think he would confess what he thought

he’d just brush it off casually - that yes, he has had some sexual thoughts about you but he wouldn’t get into it

likes mostly to jack off on the bed as that’s where his fantasies revolve around

he knows he can’t shake off these thoughts as he has tried and failed so he leans into them but this is a very private and secretive part of himself Hoseok never wants to share

JIMIN:

no matter where or when, is always ready to meet you

at times, you’re the only thing that gets him out of the bed

good old fashioned Jimin things - shameless, needy for touch and with a big whooping praise kink

fail to compliment him and you’ll get those upset eyebrows, pout and whining combo

has a kink for your thighs

doesn’t matter what kind they are, big, thin, hate them or love them, he’ll have his hand there and be damned if anyone tries to remove it ;)

you can suggest any plans and he’ll happily join you

you want to stay home? he’ll stay in your home too lmao

kisses, so many kisses

and it’s only because it’s Jimin that you don’t notice because he’s affectionate to everyone, right?

particularly fond of neck kisses

and hickeys, the possessive little bi-

oh, and nosing at your neck, he loves it all

constantly piles up food onto your plate

sometimes he wakes up and is extra in love with you

on those days there’s nothing past his lips but rows of giggles

at other times, he wakes up pissed off and tired

he doesn’t speak at all then but still holds your hand

to let you know he’s not mad at you but at the world

you’re his happiness fairy how could he ever be mad at you

when he falls in love he becomes uh…gentler

like before his method of waking you up would be to toss a pillow into your face or just jump on top of you, now he’s a tad calmer about it

never ever get sick

he loses his mind then

gets jealous quite easily

he’s well aware of it but, damn it, sometimes the sharpness just slips

“Why don’t you run off to your other friends if they’re so wonderful?”

crawls back in like 5 minutes afterwards

but if you piss him off…

…still forgives you

the longest he’d been mad at you was two days

he wholeheartedly believes you can do no wrong

the literal embodiment of: “I have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life. “I know this and I love you.”

someone could complain of how you cussed them out and punched them for good measure and at most Jimin would arch an eyebrow, and ask dryly: “what were you doing provoking them?”

speaking of, doesn’t shy away from saying “I love you”

will show up on your doorstep if you don’t contact him for like…a day lol

“so…like…” he pants, out of breath. “You’re busy or something? What’s going on?"

mentioned before, but it deserves a spotlight - constant touching; rarely his hands are completely away from you

loves to squeeze you like a stress ball, especially, how to say it, if you’re curvier in some places

doesn’t function well (re. at all) if you have a love interest on the side

literally doesn’t matter how great they are, Jimin thinks they’re below you

has probably been confronted by many of your possible dates, love interests, and partners, because it’s so obvious he’s in love with you

MOREOVER, he just acts like such a boyfriend thus most people stay far away from you as Jimin glares daggers across the distance

another one to designate you as a travel buddy

has schemed the evergreen “there was only one bed” trope

the only thing it lead to was him having atrial fibrillation for several hours as you snored softly by his side

will sit in your lap, will tug you into his lap, literally doesn’t matter, either way, is heaven

hour-long conversations occur with alarming frequency

without fail asks often how much you like him

he just needs to hear that confirmation

gorges on your snacks >:(

so incredibly focused on you, he can almost read your mind

you don’t even have to say it, if you’re sad, he’ll understand and will begin to comfort you

prefers to watch you without you realising, be it right by your side or across the room, he’ll have a small, proud smile blossoming on his face wherever you should be

fond of dragging - by the waist, by the hand, will lug you around if he wants to :)

might just be your biggest fan

practically lives at your place lol

“Just trust me!”

usually, you end up getting into some shit after he says this

hounds you to cook for him

probably sets his own selfie as your lock screen

add a heart to his contact number or face the consequences :)

sings at you often

has somehow gotten a hold of your childhood pictures and does treasure them like his own heart

has tried to kiss you a thousand times but always chickens out at the very last second

what if he ends up losing you? that’s just not a thought he can ever bear

[..]

insatiable thirst

another one who doesn’t feel all too guilty about thinking of you in that way lmao

he just reckons that these thoughts will happen so instead of pretending he can stop them, Jimin just lets them unfold in his own privacy

doesn’t have set roles like either he wants to dom or be dommed

he just wants you, so it ends up switching a lot

has thought about you scolding him, tying him up and leaving pretty nail marks

has also thought about tying you up and them overstimulating so much tears are running down your cheeks

probably has had both of these fantasies in the same night

that said, has some kinks that appear frequently

praise

cock worship

the way his ego gets stroked thinking of you going haywire about his ehm…endowment

you professing you’re his is a must in every scenario

sensual BDSM is also one of his faves

blindfolds, silk bondage, wax play

everything that asks for equal trust and submission (on both sides) drives him nuts

might even edge himself with these fantasies

picture them in clear detail and not even touch himself

so that eventually the relief is so overwhelming, he gets dizzy

definitely moans your name

blatantly checks you out

holds intense eye contact just to see you get flustered

gets inappropriately and insanely hard when you’re mean and fired up

going to a club with Jimin, means a lot of grinding and whispering in your ear

presses your delirious, intoxicated figure into his, so close that at one point you could swear that the point of where you ended and he began was obliterated

has lowkey sent you his nudes and asked which one looks better

probably has had hookups with other people and couldn’t get off if he didn’t pretend it was you

that’s the only thing he’s ever gotten conflicted about

TAEHYUNG:

Bold, with a capital B

acts like your boyfriend, no question about it

good night texts

weird, cryptic, out-of-context selfies and videos sent in the middle of the night

your gallery has 1001 pics of Tannie

and also his fe- *gunshot*

gets so giggly if you’re jealous

it’s honestly hilarious that you feel the need to worry about him not being enamoured with you

lives to tease you

if you’re more a tsundere and/or reserved type…

…lord help you

he will make it his life mission to smother you in love

lowkey kidnaps you for car rides and to accompany him on the chores

shameless about asking for attention and affection

he’ll just take it if you’re stubborn T-T

sends you love songs passed off as music recommendations

loves to surprise you with little gifts

wants to be pampered and will fight for it to happen

has millions of your pictures in his camera roll

…..

and YES MOST OF THEM ARE BLURRY

not only set your pic as his home screen, but it’s also his MF LOCK SCREEN

permanently

has one picture of you framed in his house

speaking of - always finds excuses for you to hang out in his house

“Stay,” he whispers, catching you by the elbow as you try to leave. “Just a bit longer.”

misses you constantly

invites you to slow dance

is the most confident *cough* delusional about you both ending up as a couple

has made people blush with the way he stares at you

“He doesn’t even blink,” someone laughs, the sound falling thin and awkward. “It’s like he wants to eat you or something.”

gives those types of hugs where he envelops you fully, resting his chin on your shoulder

has lowkey obsession with linking arms as you walk

if you’re fighting can’t think straight until it's resolved

though, of course, he’s very stubborn about it cause Tae will remain Tae

you might naturally ask - if he’s so brazen why doesn't he just confess

well, it’s more so for your sake than his own

'cause while Tae is ready to commit, he treasures your comfort

so for the time being he’s okay with all of this; as long as you’re happy

probably carries some sort of token of yours wherever he goes

will fight for your honour until his last breath

doesn’t allow anyone to tease you, not even the boys, that’s only for him

singing matches in the car

regular movie nights during which no one is even watching the movie lmao

entrusts you with Tannie

though not before completing a two-hour-long presentation about how to properly care for the guy

mentions you constantly

the members are probably exhausted from hearing about how great you are

says “I love you” often but always becomes wistful

‘cause you’re not his yet properly

uses all of your shit >:\

from shampoo to dishtowel, what’s yours is his lmaooo

is honestly so annoying

and cOckY

he knows you love him (even if it’s just as a friend for now) so he just gets on your nerves a lot

purely because he can

and then gives that shit-eating grin

because what are you going to do about it? ;)

pull his hair? ;)

scold him? ;)

oh no ;) what a nightmare ;))

he doesn't much interfere with you getting a side fling (he thinks of himself as your main man)

but he won’t pretend he’s happy about it

will visibly sulk and get upset when you mention someone else’s name

generally have the foulest of moods if you’re attention is grasped by another

wants to go to the gym, just to impress you

with little success

matching shirts and accessories, notably while on vacation

if he cooks for you and you don’t like it, pouts for an entire hour

watches out for you constantly

ropes you into ridiculous games

always accompanies you with his gaze

when travelling pulls up your picture and stares at it, will do so even in a crowd

[..]

doesn’t often let himself slip in sexual thoughts

in his mind that’s just for the future

as it’s simply inevitable you’ll end up together

however, when he does, he solely fantasises about you getting off

how would you do it, would there be toys, would you moan, would you bite your lip that sort of thing

sometimes in those fantasies he imagines you know he’s watching you and put on a show

Taehyung loooves a good show

has a thing for voyeurism

wears shirts that barely cover his chest and then sits on your bed, saying nothing but meaning everything in the half lidded stare, in the slow way he moves his hips…

if you wear shorts to bed, will check you out while biting his lip

loves to be all over you when intoxicated

has probably kissed you drunkenly once

and now it’s referred to as “the incident”

JUNGKOOK:

a literal fucking SIMP T-T

prepare to be bugged every time, all the time

does and says the most ridiculous things just to be noticed by you

does your chores and/or accompanies you on grocery runs

will scoff if you give him attitude but secretly enjoys it

is unintentionally bold

he could completely say “love took shape when I first laid eyes on you” without breaking a sweat

but holding your gaze for longer than 5 seconds? nah, find someone else to do it

actually don’t

Because, and you knew this was coming,

p o s s e s s i v e

but in like a healthy way

(...partially)

he would never think of prohibiting you in any sort of way

baby wants you to grow and flourish :(

but others are a fair game lmao

your little storm cloud glaring left and right, brewing and just wanting to be left alone with you

“That’s mY bUsInEsS,” he huffs when asked about this

obedient

and also not??

it’s hard to explain

ig depends on whether he wants to be praised or be granted your blissfully annoyed attention

scared shitless of telling you how much he loves you but he’s also so obvious it’s really doing him no favours

no. 1 back hug enthusiast

and I know I said this a lot already about the other boys, but Jungkook is really the no. 1

likes to hold you and from the side, it looks like he’s holding you down so you can’t escape

“Jungkook, would you ease? They’re not running away.”

“No.”

usually follows your whims and wishes (‘cause of the SIMP status)

but at times he can get so obstinate about particular topics

no amount of arguing or reasoning can persuade him

“No, and that’s final (-_-)”

usually, it revolves around your health or going out with someone (or sharing food lmaoo)

big on gestures of affection, both from you and from him

think of like peeling a perilla leaf, or putting something on his plate that you know he likes

literally swoons over these things

because they’re so domestic and so important to him

it’s proof that you’re close to him

you’re like a star in his sky so he just assumes everyone is out here trying to marry you

even if it’s not remotely true

hangs out at your place and invites you to his 50/50

sharing takeout or dinners at random places is a must

whatever stupid joke comes to his mind, it’s shared with you

doesn’t cook for you often but enjoys the hell out of it lmao

look at him being a good husband material

protective

spaces out on you a lot

can forget to talk and listen because he’s just staring 0.0

shamelessly abuses the power of his doe eyes

anything to make you forgive him lol

will steal your food

you can come home and find entire cupboards absolutely annihilated

loves to gift you cute things

while he may not understand some of your hobbies or interests, especially if they’re the polar opposite of his, he always tries his best to make you feel heard and be respectful

teases you a lot

pokes and pinches you if he feels like it’s been too peaceful for too long

imitates you, endearingly

kiss his cheek and watch him self-destruct from inside

when abroad often sends you little voice messages just before falling asleep

with his voice all groggy he confesses how much he’s missing you

…and your cereal

smells your hair, especially when cuddling

you can be laying peacefully

and then you hear the “pfffffffff hmm pffffffffffffffffff”

may even gift or suggest some shampoos and shower gels whose scent he enjoys

has to physically restrain himself from slapping your butt

[..]

he’s in the middle level of tapping his spank bank if you know what I mean

it’s not rare but he prefers to distract himself in other ways

otherwise looking at you afterwards is just too damn awkward

that said, his favourite fantasies are different than others because he’s not actively thinking about sex

(well, sometimes he does but that’s another story)

however, he’s really into groping

into soft and lazy makeout during which he can grope you all he wants

it’s domesticity for him

taking things slow as well as having your agreement to everything he’d suggest

he loves to fantasise about that freedom, that should he want to he could just take you on the couch

have your legs shaking and arms clawing at his back

it’s just comfortable

has a thing for fucking you while you wear only his shirt or hoodie

he likes to think about how he’d be kneading your ass, teasing and turning you on

how soft and warm you’d be

how you’d taste and feel

has a small brat-tamer streak within him as ironic as it is given who the og brat really is

so occasionally he’d dip into those fantasies of playfully subduing and edging you till begging comes up ;)

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hlvstia · 1 year

Text

— i’ll always find a way to see you, again.

pair : chishiya x fem!reader

summary : you find yourself in a shit position— which is… almost meeting death.

warnings : mentions of pills & self harm— & one mention of nigari.

spoilers : please do not continue reading if you haven’t finished alice in ( the ) boarderland s2 yet! ( under rewriting cuz tumblr deleted half my stuff… )

line divider by : 🫀 !

it was not only that, but you knew you had to win this game— for a fighting chance at love, and for a chance to have friends that meant a lot to you.

mira kano had only one goal, which was to make you forfeit the game— so you couldn’t find the truth, and never return to your world. and you had to admit, she had the skill to make you feel like you never existed; perhaps it was a perk of her being a physicalist. she knew the way around the human body, aka the mind.

no matter how hard you wanted to focus on croquet, she had questions after questions— that targeted towards you and your brother.

“karube left me…” your eyes watered, looking down to see your hands already fidgeting with themselves.

“and how does that make you feel, [y/n]? how did you feel when your big brother left you? to fend for yourself?” mira always had this comforting voice, which compelled you even more to reply to her nonsense.

it wasn’t like he actually left you… one day, you two were playing a game until he had gone his separate way due to the king of spades massive shoot-out. and so, you never saw him again— but he still wanted to protect you, right?

you kept quiet, feeling your eyes water as she slided the pills towards you, following up with a cup of water. “this’ll make you feel better… why don’t you take this and then answer me?” she kept on persisting on you and arisu to take the pills, but usagi didn’t like the idea of that. she knew what mira was trying to do; make you two forfeit so you could lose the game. “you guys, snap out of it! she’s trying to trick you both into forfeiting! please!” usagi yelled, shaking the two of you.

“no— i… it’s true though. maybe he doesn’t actually care about me.. the pills will make me feel better, right?” your eyes darted towards the pills, your hands reaching for them but an abrupt slapped them away from your touch. “[y/n], you can’t! please— come back to me. look at me and tell me that you’re here… with us, with me!”

usagi grabbed your hands, looking up to you— “[y/n]…” she whispered into a crying sob, looking over at arisu who was currently on the floor. “i know you want to escape, [y/n]… just say you quit and you can be free. you may not even be real…” the queen of hearts surely had a way with her words, to the point where it was truely believable to the human mind.

snapping back to reality, you saw usagi holding a piece of glass, placing it near her wrist. “usagi—” your sentence was cut off by her swift movement cutting her wrist to prove that this was real. “usagi!” you yelled, catching her into your arms as you softly placed her on the ground, your lap as a pillow for her head. “just win this for me and arisu… i want the chance to shop at the mall with you, do our taxes together, and maybe when do mountain climbing…” as each second grew, her voice declined more into a little rasp. this is when you knew you had to win, for them.

“i still want to play, mira! i want to do the last round!” within a heartbeat, you stood up holding the croquet stick. “as you wish,” her lips quivered into a small smile, holding hers straight.

positioning yourself, you aimed your stick towards one of the ball so it could enter through the little hoops, and to your success it did. and as said, the game would go on for about 3 hours— which meant… you made it towards the end. you finally beat the final face game. the queen of hearts.

even so, listening to her goodbye speech made you realize something… life was too short, and it was sure risk taking. in addition to that, there were two choices— to either decline or accept staying in the current world you were in.

as caption obvious, you all said decline. you wanted to go to your world that you could see all your friends, but possibly, not see your current ones that you trusted as of now. it was apart of the choice though, to take that chance.

you rushed down the building, sprinting your way towards chishiya, ignoring nigari ( BOOO, 🍅 ). “hey, you actually did it.” his lips curled into a smirk, his eyes squinting at the bright light. “please shut up and just fucking decline the offer, shuntaro.” you held onto his hand, still looking over at his wound. he let out a little chuckle, tightening the grip onto your hold. “i decline,”

chishiya pulled you closer, letting you lean on his chest with ease. but everything felt weird as the fireworks went off, and it ended off with you dozing off and ending up in a new place. your world, that you all knew.

“[y/n], come!” your friends called you over, waving at this outside cafe area. “coming!” you yelled back, jogging over to see their smiles. “so, did you hear? kai’s university was struck down by a meteor… and thank god he’s still beside us!” one of them spoke, but it seemed like another thing was catching their attention.

“you mean that one…?”

and that’s a wrap! like for part 2 :) cuz’ this definitely took a long time and now i have courage to write for aib! remember to request a specific asks if you have one— for a quick reminder, i do write for marvel, aib, and some anime’s.

bruh i gave up cuz tumblr DELETED HALF MY PARAFRAPHS 😭 this is all y’all get IM SO SORRY

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loopspoop · 2 months

Note

Who, out of the lupgang, do you think would have an existential crisis? I could see it happening to a couple of them tbh, and the others are trying their best to help calm them down and get through it.

I like this ask >:3c

Most to least likely in order?

Lupin/Goemon

Pops

Jigen

Fujiko

Lupin and Goemon are pretty self explanatory. They’re both heirs in long lines of successful thief families. Lupin needs to live up to the expectations his family has set and then some. He’s just another cog in the machine and, while he feels like he’s in control, you can’t always control your life. He thinks a lot about who he would’ve been if he wasn’t Lupin the Third. Some normal guy with a boring life? A successful thief starting his own brand outside of the Lupin family name? Is he just like his ancestors? How different can he truly be? Is there anything for him outside of grand schemes and theft? It keeps him up at night. Sometimes the others catch on but he never speaks about it unless he’s having a panic attack or breakdown from it. It’s not their burden to shoulder.

Goemon had a lot of the same expectations combined with being the owner of Zantetsuken. We know from Part 2 that the sword will stop working in the next 100~ years. Does it bother him that it’s a stain on his legacy? The samurai that ruined the Zantetsuken by losing its mate? And don’t even get him started on finding a partner and potentially having a Goemon Ishikawa the Fourteenth! He never seemed too interested it in, but being the 13th of his name puts some pressure on him to have a 14th. He also wonders what life would be like if he wasn’t literally the last practicing samurai in the world because damn…that’s heavy to think about. Would he still be some sort of super skilled thief/assassin? Or just some average man doing his taxes? It stresses him out quite often. He meditates. He wouldn’t discuss it with anyone unless it was Lupin, because Lupin would be the only one to really understand.

Zenigata is a bit different? Bro kinda chose his life path but there is the fact that he’s an older guy. He won’t be able to chase Lupin forever. What will happen when that day comes? Or the day when Lupin dies for real? Or just disappears and nobody has a Lupin Theft™️ ever again? Zenigata doesn’t let himself think about it because it leads to pretty serious spirals and he usually finds ways to distract himself (like chasing Lupin).

Jigen…he’s a lot different. He’s not a successor of a famous namesake. All he has is his legacy as the best marksman and being Lupin’s partner. He’s always going to be Lupin’s partner, to death do they part. But he could lose that legacy. He’s also made some fucked up choices, some of which he probably had no control over with his time in the mafia. He wonders a lot about if he could’ve been a better man. And if that would’ve affected his being with the group. On a rare night it gets bad he drinks and shoots the shit with Lupin. They don’t discuss it the next day.

Fujiko doesn’t really have much to worry about I feel? She knows who she is. She’s a boss bitch and she gets what she wants. She doesn’t have to conform to anyones expectations but her own (which include being rich and hot and those are pretty easy for her). She can understand where the boys are coming from though, and gives crazy good pep talks on how to not conform to what other people want and how to live for yourself. We love a supportive queen

#lupin iii #lupin the 3rd #goemon ishikawa xiii #goemon #lupin the third #jigen daisuke #fujiko mine #zenigata #jigen #jigen lupin the third

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belle-keys · 6 months

Note

I'm really missing Cordelia right now and I know how much you adore her too. Do you have any interesting headcanons for her? How about songs that remind you of her? Anyway here's a pic of my Funko she's keeping me company while I work

Cordelia! That's my whole damn cousin! Here are my headcanons:

She lowkey loves to bullshit white Englishmen about her ethnicity. Sometimes they come up to her asking “What’s Arabia like?” or “ Which part of India are you from” or some nonsense lumping all brown people together because they’re ignorant like that. Instead of lecturing them about Persia, she starts playing along and saying things like “Oh yes, I’m actually the lost queen of Rajastan, third in line for the throne”. James wants to punch the men but Cordelia plays along and she and Alastair laugh about it later.

Her chai game is simply not as strong as Alastair’s because cmon, Alastair is the British-Persian king of chai! But they still have chai-making battles which they force Sona to judge.

She likes experimenting with various types of dance as a hobby. From traditional Persian dances to ballet to classical Indian dance. She finds it’s a great way to destress when her Clave duties become taxing. Plus, James thinks it’s super hot.

Her dream vacation destination (after Constantinople) is Petra.

Absolutely no one can beat Cordelia at chess but she absolutely sucks at card games (because girls weren’t really taught to play card games back in the day). However, Lucie happens to be good at card games because the Thieves taught her, and Anna is good at them too because Anna is Anna. Hence, Cordelia’s greatest secret goal is to get as good as them to beat James and Matthew one day and relish in their frowns.

She is deadly scared of bees and she will not hesitate to whip out Cortana and attempt to slay them… often to no avail. “What a great warrior,” mutters Alastair whenever this happens.

Some songs that remind me of her:

La Chute est lente by Alma (she’s a lovergirl)

Cupid by Victoria Monét (she’s a lovergirl)

The Great Mermaid by LE SSERAFIM (she will take absolutely no shit)

War of Hearts by Ruelle (she will beat your ass)

Anywhere But Here by PVRIS (jordelia)

Akasaka Sad by Rina Sawayama (breaking generational trauma)

#cordelia carstairs #jordelia #the last hours #tlh #tsc #chain of thorns #chot #chain of gold #the shadowhunter chronicles #herondaisy #cordelia headcanons

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musicalsavage · 29 days

Text

The Guard- Posted Originally on Ao3

Izana’s guard was rarely seen, but everyone in the castle knew about him. He rose up the ranks quickly and after a meeting with the Queen, he was assigned as the first prince’s personal guard.

Zen had always been curious about this guard. Unlike Kiki and Mitsuhide who were assigned to him when he was on the younger side. This knight came directly to the Queen to offer his services after being promoted. Those who have seen him talk like he is a ghost. He moves without being seen, he seems to appear without warning, and he can end up in places quicker than a normal human should.

His curiosity only grew when he saw the man for the first time. Dark black hair and bright ice blue eyes. A lean build, but a smirk that was a lot like his brother's. He was talking to Izana, walking alongside him. When Zen had tried to follow them, both seemed to have faded in with the shadows.

The next time he saw the man was on the training grounds. More and more people were interacting with the mysterious man. He was teaching the soldiers and he moved with such precision it made sense how he was Izana’s guard. Zen hid as icy blue met with the azure and a smile crossed the man’s lips.

“Why do you hide my lord? There is no shame in watching.” His voice was higher than Zen had anticipated. Peeking out from the pillar, the man is holding his sword over his shoulder. “C’mon, I hear that you are quite good at the blade. You can learn by watching it too. You never know who you will run into in a fight.”

Zen does watch. He watches as the man shows off sword skills but also hand to hand skills. When training finishes, he motions for Zen to follow him. “Now, do you want me to teach you something fun Little Lord?”

“Yes.”

“Good, don’t snitch on me to your brother now.”

He proceeds to teach him how to vault over tall structures with ease. How to get enough speed and how to get his legs out of the way. Mitsuhide found them after a bit and the man had sighed dramatically when told that Izana was going to hear about it. He winks at Zen, slipping him a note before he takes his leave.

“Little Lord,

Come find me whenever you need to take a break. I will show you something new again.

-Daniel F.”

The years go on like that, when Izana leaves for long periods of time, so does Daniel. He was true to his word, teaching Zen some underhand things or how to best sneak around the kitchens. He always smiled when they would cross paths, giving him little notes.

By the time Zen was twenty, he hadn’t seen Daniel in a few years. He was on a mission for Izana that was taking a long time, or so his brother said. Part of Zen worried that Daniel had died on that mission. Luckily, his fears would be proven wrong sooner than he thought.

Danny was so tired. The mission that his majesty had sent him on was taxing. Someone was bringing corpses back to life so of course the local dead guard had to take care of it. The struggle was there were no clues to who was doing it, even with Danny’s skills. What was supposed to be only about a six-month mission turned into a three-year mission. He had already reported back to Izana, who was back at the capital. In his letter, he had scolded Danny for being a bad influence on Zen, as he now was seeing someone and disregarding his fears. Now, Little Lord was seeing someone? He had to meet her. Knowing the Little Lord, she was probably confident in herself and didn’t take any shit. He chuckles as flies back. He was excited to meet her.

Of course, when he arrived, he had to meet with Izana and do all the paperwork from his mission. He loved doing these tasks for Izana, but the goddamn paperwork. Paperwork is one of the reasons Danny turned down being Ghost King. He had no interest in doing that for the rest of his half-life. It was already dark when he finally left the office.

He smirked as he walked to the Pharmacy. Garack would be surprised but would be willing to have a drink with him. Entering, he can hear multiple voices. He decides to just enter like a normal person. Sliding the door open his smiles.

“Thought I was dead, didn’t yah…”

He and Little Lord stare at each other. He notes how tired Zen looks, before clocking the other two people. A man with cat like eyes staring daggers at him and a pretty girl with red hair. Oh, this must be the girl Izana is wary of. He lets his wide smile settle into a softer one.

“It’s been a while Little Lord.”

He watches as Zen recovers and nods. “Daniel, your mission took longer than you said it would.”

He catches the look of recognition cross the other two faces. Oh, Zen had told them about him, or they had heard the rumors. Either way, it was nice to know that he wasn’t forgotten.

“I apologize for that Little Lord. I see his highness didn’t let you know.”

“He doesn’t tell me the details of his retainers’ whereabouts.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m his retainer, not even a guard at this point. More of his errand dog.”

Zen snorts before turning to the other two. “Shirayuki, Obi. This is Daniel. He is the one that taught me how to vault almost as good as you do Obi.”

The other man scoffs but gives Danny a curious look. The girl starts to bow but seems unsure if that is the right thing to do.

“No need to bow, judging by both your ID’s, you have a higher station than I do. Shirayuki, are you romantically involved with Little Lord here?” He watches as both Zen and Shirayuki’s faces turn a deep red and Obi simply laughs at them.

“Blunt, I like him.”

“W-Why would you ask that Daniel?!”

“Because your brother said I was a bad influence on you. He is right, but I wanted to see where he was coming from.” He turns to Shirayuki “I do apologize, mostly meant to rile Little Lord up, not you.” He bows. “Daniel, at your service. I am technically under His Highness’s Prince Izana’s thumb, but I can do favors for others. I’m known for being untraceable.”

Shirayuki only nods, not saying anything. Danny sighs, looking around them. “As much as I would love to keep talking, where is the Garack? I came to steal her away for a drink.”

“She already headed out, so you can most likely find her at the tavern in town or in bed.”

“I’ve been known to catch her in both, see you!” Chuckling at their faces, he leaves. It was good to see Little Lord again, he didn’t interact enough with Shirayuki to judge her. He is sure that if Mitsuhide was willing to let she and Obi hang with Zen without any other supervision that both could be trusted. Kicking a rock, he thinks back to his choice to come to this dimension. It was vastly different than his own and he was really enjoying it. Time to find Garack and dish about his last mission.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #danny phantom fanfiction #snow white with the red hair #danny phantom crossover #akagami no shirayukihime #snowwhitewiththeredhair #fanfiction

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noonmutter · 3 months

Text

Blow

DWC Feb 2024

Day 3: Bargain/Myth

As the conversation got less animated and Terry became more antsy to be on his way, Rumpole brought out one final set of papers. The lazy farmboy in him groaned, but outwardly, all Terry said was, "Seriously, I don't know any other plots. Th' closer y' get t' th' cities, th' less I even visited, let alone--"

"No, no, we're quite done with that, don't worry! I just had one other thing to bring to your attention before you got on your way. The Queen is refreshingly forward-thinking, as you've no doubt noticed by now, and as our beloved country is a touch low on…well, almost every resource…"

"Rumpole. I'm very tired, and I've already missed my deadline. Please."

"Oh, all right, but you're really spoiling the fun." With a small huff, the lawyer handed Terry another of those fancy papers bearing the royal seal, and he cracked it open to read. This one was a full-length scroll that hung down somewhere near his ankles, and it was absolutely covered in writing. Disgustingly dense fine print, on first glance, but once he found a few strange images, resembling nothing so much as a series of blank templates, he went back to the beginning to actually absorb what he was reading.

It wasn't that Terry couldn't follow legalese; he was in many respects a brilliant man, even if he'd never admit it or acknowledge it. He just really, really hated double-talk and wordplay this dry. It was at least fun to do that in poems and stuff. Doing it when you were talking about border disputes or who owned a cow was just infuriating. But as he read, he started to recognize certain phrases and terms from Rumpole's speech, which he'd also only partially listened to earlier in this meeting.

Much of it was what they'd already discussed about the dearth of citizenry remaining to lay claim to the various lands that lay barren and abandoned throughout the kingdom. What followed that was the rules for staking such claims, which were surprisingly thorough for all that they boiled down to 'If you're alive and have satisfactory proof of your identity, here you go.' There was follow-up regarding the payment of taxes, but that thankfully didn't appear to be retroactive. Their new queen had figured out right away that that would've been a civil war right out the gate, at least. In fact, it looked like there was a small stipend involved for the first year or so to help reestablish homesteads properly. Tess didn't seem to want people to grab the land and wander off. That, Terry approved of.

Once he got out of the homesteading stuff, things began to take a turn toward the matter of population, castes, and territories. The collapse of several houses due to the Northgate Rebellion and the fallout from the Shattering had been well-known in general, but this document appeared to be making it official. Even if it hadn't been from those events directly, it'd been over a decade since then; lots of the blue-bloods had scattered, died of old age, or just started over elsewhere. Those houses were gone, no scions remained to claim them, and with a heavy heart the Crown blah blah sure whatever dead nobles can't own anything so now the Crown's taking it back...makes sense. Still likely to be fighting about that, but less than there would've with a bunch of cousins and shit vying for scraps. Tess was already doing better than her great lump of a father at this, by his reckoning.

His reading slowed down significantly once he got to the next segment, where all those pictures sat in the middle of the paragraph. After a few seconds, his heart briefly stopped.

"Rumpole."

"Eh?"

"This is a proclamation o' th' establishment o' new houses."

"Ah, you've hit the nail squarely on the head!"

"I am not a noble, Rumpole!"

"That, my boy, is where you'd be wrong!" Reaching across the desk, the barrister plucked the scroll from Terry's stunned hands and rolled it back up. He didn't need to read it to talk about this part; he'd been warned well in advance that Terry Lias-Ambroce was going to be a bit touchy about it, and he'd come prepared.

"Like I said before, we've got a bit of a drought on almost every resource at present--and that includes nobility, wot? And as the Queen is a forward-thinking queen, she seems inclined to set things up before there's bunch of nasty squabbles while various up-and-comers try to do it themselves. Gilneas has had quite enough warring and destruction and we could all quite use a few years where we don't have more Gilnean deaths than births, eh?"

Terry made vague grasping motions at nothing with both hands, eyes wide. "I am not a noble!"

"Well, you're still technically correct, of course. No signatures, no change, eh?" Rumpole grinned, even while Terry barely reacted at all. "But you have gone and established yourself as a good candidate by the Crown's reckoning."

The lawyer began counting off on his fingers. "You have a strong military background with a nearly mythical reputation, good sir Lighthound. Did you really think that wouldn't reach the eyes of what remained of the court? Gilneas has precious few heroes, let alone living ones. Minor though you might think you are, you went and became one, eh?"

A second finger raised. "And, of course, you've the ability and the intent to lay claim to a not insignificant portion of land, here. And, if I'm not mistaken, you intend to take care of it properly, as a son of Gilneas ought."

The third finger went up as Rumpole fetched a specific sheet from the file he'd brought with him. "And then, of course, there's all these fascinating connections you've established. Both the Crusader-Lord and the Knight-Commander of the Argent Crusade; a retired Ironforge senator and patriarch of Clan Truthhammer and his wife, the High Priestess and Ambassador; Captain Sirenspawn and General Rutherford of the Grand Army of the Alliance... and those are just the direct ones. I've got records of you hobnobbing with Turalyon and Alleria, and attending the wedding of the First Arcanist Thalyssra and Regent Lord Lor'Themar..."

I told Dwyn I shouldn't have been there! Damn it!

"...and that's before I even touch on the indirect ones you have through your brother, and, of course, your wife."

"My w--"

"Well of course your wife, man!" Rumpole practically giggled at Terry's expression, situated somewhere right in the middle of furious and horrified. "You may not be a noble here, but through her, you're a noble there." He picked up another sheet from the file and gave it a little swat. "She went through all the picky nonsense to legitimize herself through the Doppelganger Decree of 28! Clever woman, that; lucky you, eh? And all clean and clear-cut on paper, that makes you the Baron of the Brightwood to your Baroness, eh?"

Of course Terry knew Shedwyn had been busy with all that. He'd been under the impression it was largely to spite all the jackass nobles who sneered down their noses at her, more than any real interest in the legitimacy of it all. Neither of them particularly wanted to be nobles, when nobles acted like that. He still wasn't sure what had been the tipping point: the third time somebody offered a tenth of the land's value to "take the burden off her pretty shoulders," or the one particularly offensive jackoff who'd commented that if she didn't have so much land, she might be able to deal with the "infestation" on it. He hadn't meant feral worgen.

Somehow, once Shedwyn had been formally and properly declared the Baroness of Brightwood Grove, Terry had still never truly connected himself to the thought that by marriage, he was therefore Baron.

Until now.

And he was pretty sure she'd done it to spite him, too.

It'd been three years.

She was never going to shut up about this one.

"The existing title isn't even a requirement for eligibility as far as the Queen is concerned, mind; it simply helps! A bit of borrowed legitimacy to add to your own impressive pile, eh? So. What do you say?"

"Come again?"

"Well, it's not something you have no say in, establishing your own house. Perhaps back in the day, when kings and queens tossed out titles like roses at a tournament, sure, but this is a very particular situation. Queen Greymane wants nobles who are Gilnean to their core; who are ready, willing, and able to do the work to bring our kingdom back to its former gloomy glory. And you, Sergeant, fit that bill, by my eyes and by the requirements she provided. But at the end of it all, it's your choice. If you are not willing, then the Crown is not interested in enslavement of any kind, even if it does come with prestige at the end of it. It's a choice, not an obligation, eh?"

A choice. One hell of a fucking choice. But this time, it actually felt like a choice; not a devil's bargain, where the alternative was objectively screwing him or someone he cared about. This had been a trap, to be certain, but not a literal one. It was the kind of trap where someone, somewhere, was laughing their ass off.

Terry Ambroce had always been a patriot. Even in his teens, when he was spitting acid about everything Genn Greymane said, did or would do, he did so for love of his country, not for himself. He'd intended to be part of the rebellion at Northgate, even, but everything had gone so wrong, so fast...

He'd learned since then that the fighting wasn't the hardest part. It was putting everything back together afterward. Fighting was easy. Battles had a beginning and an end; swords up, enough people died, swords down. Done. Reclamation, restoration, reconstruction... those went on for lifetimes. They required dedication, not eagerness. Building a nation was already hard enough; rebuilding one was a monumental effort. Holding it together, even harder still.

He'd spent half his life, now, insisting that Gilneas still lived. Even if he could never go home again, he knew he would've sworn on his deathbed that Gilneas still lived. And here, now, he had in front of him the opportunity to do what he'd wanted to do when he was a boy, and resuscitate it. He was already doing the math. Paper was the easy part, proclamations would be welcomed by many and growled about by few. Some of the growlers would inevitably start trying to cause trouble, test the viability of these new houses over and over. He could deal with skirmishers and bandits, but... politics?

---

Shu-fen was irritated. She'd gotten word from the Baron that morning that he'd been discharged, and that he would be picking up his children that afternoon. And yet, here she was, taking over that duty, since their normal escort had already been informed they could have the rest of the day off, and the Baron had failed to appear. It wasn't that escorting the Ambroce children was particularly difficult, as they behaved well for everyone except their parents; it was that she'd planned her day as well as the Baroness's around the exception, and now everything was out of order.

It came as no surprise to anyone, therefore, least of all Terry, when she punched him in the face as soon as he arrived. Part of that was because he'd surprised her, and it was really, really hard to do that, but still.

Once he'd gotten a moment to explain himself, she was willing to accept that perhaps he hadn't deserved to be punched in the face. And once he'd followed up with a suggestion, she actually apologized to him.

---

Shedwyn was worried. Shu-fen had dismissed some of the standard help, which wasn't anything to fret over, but then the Pandaren had received a notice, cursed, and excused herself. None of these things were particularly out of the ordinary--sometimes, shit just happened, after all; that was why she'd hired Shu-fen as an assistant in the first place. But, even after several years running of actual, honest-to-gods peace, she couldn't help but suspect more sinister things, given too much time to herself.

She was just about to go out looking for her when Shu-fen returned home. Her expression was a touch more wooden than usual, even with the tight little smile she was wearing, and that put Dwyn even more on edge.

"The Viscount of Keel to see you, madame."

Dwyn paused. "...The what of where? Hold on, that's not even on the schedule for today, is it?" In a brief, nearly panicked frenzy, she scrabbled through her papers to double-check.

Terry stepped into the doorway behind Shu-fen, who bowed respectfully and ducked outside to go have a good, loud cackle.

After a minute, Shedwyn finally thought to look up, and after another still, she parsed that this was indeed her husband, not some shadowy figure from her past (or his) back to haunt her yet again.

There was a pregnant pause.

"FUCKIN' WHAT?!"

( @daily-writing-challenge @shedwyn @sirdolraan @darbiebot @red-alynore )

#and so arrives terry #my writing #dwc #waxing crescent #I sam vimes'd him and I'm NOT sorry #eeheeheehee #good news that's the end of this one

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