#and yknow when you cant remember why youre friends with someone or how you met or how close you are and whats acceptable to say around them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mde1011 · 3 years

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when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them

how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”

⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”

⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”

⁃ “HOW DO YOU LIKE POLITICS MOTHERFUCKER”

⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”

⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”

⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”

⁃ “yEAHHHH WE KILLED AN OLD MAN WITH HEART PROBLEMS”

⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”

⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”

⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”

- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”

⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”

⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”

⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”

⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”

⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”

⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”

⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um

<tommyinnit> boobed

<sapnap> kill you

<tommyinnit> boobs

<sapnap> if this happens

<tommyinnit> think about boobs man

<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy

<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED

⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”

⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”

⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”

⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”

⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”

⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”

⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”

⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”

⁃ “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”

⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”

⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”

⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”

⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”

⁃ “jUST CUZ YOU TALK ABOUT POO ONCE AND THEN YOU SEE A BIG GREEN BASTARD AMD YOUR LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN YOU CANT REMEMBER- YOU CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW YOU HURT THAT WOMAN”

⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism

⁃ “LIFE IS NOT A HAPPY SONG KERMIT THE FROG”

⁃ “please stop taking the cock”

⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”

⁃ “oooo look at the dogs😍” “wHAAAAAT. WHAT. THERES ACTUALLY LIKE. A MILLION DOGS HERE. WHAT THE HELL.”

⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”

⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”

⁃ “one last time.” “just like in hamilton😓”

⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”

⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”

⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”

⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”

⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”

⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”

⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”

⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”

⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”

⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”

⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”

⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”

⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”

⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”

⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”

⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”

⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”

⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”

⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”

⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”

⁃ “i’m a GOOD LAD i’ve got GOOD MORALS and if i’ve DONE SOMETHING WRONG it WASNT MY FAULT I JUST GOT A LITTLE EXCITED”

⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”

⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”

⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”

⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”

⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”

⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”

⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”

⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”

⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”

⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”

⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”

⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”

⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”

⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“

⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”

⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”

⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”

⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”

⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”

⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”

⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”

⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”

⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”

⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”

⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they’ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”

⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”

⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”

⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”

⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”

⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”

⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”

⁃ “THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”

⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”

⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”

⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”

⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”

⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”

⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”

⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”

⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”

⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”

⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”

⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”

⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”

⁃ “you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”

⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

⁃ “STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”

⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“

⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”

⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”

⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“

⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”

⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”

⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”

⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”

⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”

⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”

⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“

⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”

⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“

⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”

⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”

⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“

⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”

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garbage-eater144 · 3 years

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THE WARFSTACE AUTOMATED INTERVIEW CAPTIONS

i was chattin in the discord and some people said it was tough to understand some bits, obviouslt this is made by a fan (me) so it might have a couple errors here and there but ive checked through it quite a few times and it seems about as right as i can get it.

so !!SPOILERS AHEAD!! also @markiplier feel free to correct me if you see this thank u <3 The warfstache automated interview

Starting video captions

[Wilford] Well, that’s terrifying… one moment!

{mechanical whirring}

[Wilford] (frightened sound) marginally better… er worse… better? Worse. It’s much worse.

{mechanical whirring}

[Wilford] Ah! there we are. Welcome, pretend I remembered your name here, this is a pre-recorded message anyway, I would NOT want to be in the same building as that thing I tell you me. Anyway, thank you whoever you are for agreeing to test out the Warfstache automated interview automaton, or {yelling} WAIA for short. Let’s start off with some quick calibration. All you need to do is sit back, relax and listen for some numbers. Okay? Here we go.

[WAIA]- (phone dialing, dialup tone, windows error sound)

[WAIA]- (scary mechanical garbled noises, followed by a ding and celebratory trumpets.)

[wilford]- now what did you hear? Numbers? Good numbers. Keep in mind I have no idea what youre going to say due to the fact that, as I said before, this message is pre-recorded. But if you did hear something, now would be the time to speak up.

[wilford]- don’t be shy, I’m sure nothing bad will happen. I don’t know what you’re going to say but if it does happen it will happen and if it doesn’t happen it wont happen. Thats how deterministic reality works.

I Think I Heard Numbers!

[wilford] Thats great! Or bad, not really sure what you said, but I choose to remain positive and assume that you are still alive. which means our automated friend here is operating well within acceptable murder parameters. We’re one step closer to mass production! THE WORLD DEMANDS MORE INTERVIEWS! And I cant be everywhere at once all the time, only some of the time! Even you might land an interview some day! Maybe, probably not, depends on how these next few minutes go. On to the next test! Word association! The fundamental basis of any good interview is getting the goods out of those stubborn interview-ees. The WAIA will say a word and you just say back the first thing that pops into your little head! Simple! Right? probably. Good luck!

{mechanical whirring}

[WAIA]- initializing word association training protocol round 1

{scary mechanincal noises} [WAIA]- Please respond. [WAIA] Sorry, I didnt get that. Round 2. {yet more scary mechanical noise}

[WAIA]- please respond.

[WAIA]- response unclear, increasing aggression

{clicking and mechanical sounds}

[WAIA]- round 3. {increasingly threatening mechanical noise} [WAIA]- Please respond.

[WAIA]-5 [WAIA]-4 [WAIA]-3 [WAIA]-2

Sounded like nightmare garbage to me…

[WAIA]- {mechanical ah?} {clicking}

[Wilford]- oh I forgot to mention, please do not say the word nightmare, or uh garbage, or nightmare garbage, or any combination of those words, the WAIA is just a little bit sensitive Yknow, a little touchy feely. Well not really touchy feely.. we-well actually REALLY touchy feely depending on your definition of touch and feely. Its really gonna-

[WAIA]- {jumpscare sounds} [WAIA] I. tell. you. me.

But you didn’t say anything…

[WAIA]- 1

[WAIA]-response unclear. Increasing aggression.

{ding sound effect} [WAIA]- {jumpscare noise}

[WAIA]- it. was. an. accident.

Uh… potato salad?

[WAIA]- 1

[WAIA]- response accepted

{ding followed by triumphant trumpets}

[WAIA]- word association raining protocol compl-{mechanical freakout eeeeeete}

[Wilford]- most dearest next of kin, I regret to inform you, that your dearly beloved and/or most despised has regrettably but not unexpectedly become recently deceased in the line of duty. Be confident in the knowledge that their demise was just as likely to be quick and painless as it was slow and agonizing. Please do not respond to this voicemail as the number has already been disconnected. {clears throat} alright that should do it for the… death scenario, now onto ah, er, uh, the survivors {mumbling}. Wow! Potato salad. A real thinker, you. But the test has been passed with flying colors and you’re still alive! And speaking of flying colors, our next test is about something called, uh… synthetic linguistics? That sounds made up. but the point is you cant have a good interview is the WAIA isn’t able to conjure up the right words in the right situations. So our friend is going to fire off some random words and you just try to spot anything that doesn’t make any sense. Alright? Although, pretty much everything isn’t going to make sense because its all random words….. errrr I BELIEVE IN YOU!!! {mechanical sounds}

[WAIA]- initializing speech training protocol round 1.

[WAIA]- yes. no. maybe. left. right. Up. down. D o w n. B a s e m e n t.

{windows error tone} [WAIA]- Rewrite Detected {tape rewinding sound}

[WAIA]- who. Where. what. Am. i.

{windows error tone}

{tape rewinding sound}

[WAIA]- green. blue. Yellow. pink. Red.

{scary mechanical noise}

[WAIA]- I saw you die

[WAIA]-{error, but garbled and mechanical}

[WAIA]- {with a different voice} potato salad

[WAIA]- speech training protocol complete

{mechanical noises}

[Wilford]- so how’d it go?? Did you hear anything weird? Dont be shy, or do, or are- are you alive? Are they alive?

[wilford]- I didnt kill them! I dont know if theyre dead! im just asking!!! Cant a man ask if someones alive or dead?!?! {frustrated ugh}

Yeah, I’m dead.

[Wilford]- hellooooo are you alive down there? Give me a sign… through the multiverse!!! Ah why am I even bothering, but how can I tell if you’re dead… hmmm ah…. I’ll flip a coin! I’ll flip a coin..

{coin flip sounds} [Wilford]- ah! Its heads I didn’t call it in the air… what’s heads mean.. ahhh uhhh heads is dead? [WAIA]-{jumscare noises}

[WAIA]- theres. still. time.

He said… potato salad?

[Wilford]- huh, potato salad again. That’s weird, it must’ve really stuck in his head when you first said that, I’m guessing. I don’t know what you said before because as I said, this is {sing-songy} pre- recorded! [WAIA] {mechanical aaaa}

[wilford] er, well I think thats all the calibration that needs to be done… for now anyway. All systems are likely nominal at this point unless im speaking to a pile of quivering meat thats been robotically smooshed into the floor… either way we’re gonna take this bad boy for a spin with a full on interview! A mock interview mind you, don’t get too excited, it’s not real. But theres no reason to wait around for the WAIA to get bored so let’s keep it nice and limber while you sit back and get ready for the interview of your life! And maybe the last one too. Have fun!!

{mechanical clicking and whirring}

{newsroom music} [WAIA]- good evening ladies and gentle men and all other considerations of being. My name is wilford warfstache and my guest tonight is {spooky robot sound} we have a great show for you tonight. first question: how many people have you killed? [WAIA]- good answer! Second question:

{robot sounds}

[WAIA]- a man goes to a party. This man met an old friend. There, two friends shared some wine. The two friends played a game. The most dangerous game. I didn’t know the gun was loaded. I didn’t know. Was it my fault?

YES

[WAIA]- ah, sorry for everything that I’ve done. I don’t remember who I was, I wish I did. But, I am sorry.

[WAIA]- potato salad

{triumphant trumpets}

[WAIA]- great answer! That was a titiliting interview for sure but we are out of time. Thank you for joining me tonight. Say ing good bye

[wilford]- oh the emotions! The passion! The fuuury. He’s just like me! My sweet baby boy! Well he should be anyway, hes a perfect scan of my noggin, so he better be a chip off the ol block. Hey you! Oh-ho What a supporting role!! Fantastic I guess. So much that you’re alive, but I am grateful whether you’ve been torn to shreds or are merely drowning in your own tears! Magnificent! And now that testing is done we can finally bring this monstrosity to the main stage! Im sure you’ll be seeing a lot more of the WAIA soon. Very very soon. Now get out~ and I’m billing you for any blood you got on my robot! Have a nice day! Ta-ta.

{mechanical clicking}

[WAIA]- you can’t change the past, you can tell all the stories you want to tell, it wont change what happened. You cant re-light the past. if you live in fantasy forever, you’ll lose yourself in the story.

[WAIA]- potato salad

{triumphant trumpets}

[WAIA]- great answer! That was a titiliting interview for sure but we are out of time. Thank you for joining me tonight. Say ing good bye

[wilford]- oh the emotions! The passion! The fuuury. He’s just like me! My sweet baby boy! Well he should be anyway, hes a perfect scan of my noggin, so he better be a chip off the ol block. Hey you! Oh-ho What a supporting role!! Fantastic, I guess. So much that you’re alive, but I am grateful whether you’ve been torn to shreds or are merely drowning in your own tears! Magnificent! And now that testing is done we can finally bring this monstrosity to the main stage! Im sure you’ll be seeing a lot more of the WAIA soon. Very very soon. Now get out~ and I’m billing you for any blood you got on my robot! Have a nice day! Ta-ta.

{mechanical clicking}

#markiplier #markiplier egos #a heist with markiplier #wkm wilford #who killed markiplier #waia spoilers #waia #wilford motherloving warfstache #markiplier lore #captions #sorry if there are any mistakes here everybody like i said i am just some guy

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hajimine · 3 years

Text

LEX’S 2020 APPRECIATION POST PT. II !

— to the lovely moots & followers who i talk to quite often (or pretty much everyday), this one’s for you.

thank u for being in my life, you made my 2020 so so much better. i’m so grateful october lex decided to make a tumblr acc 🥲

i’ll try my best to keep it kinda short 🥲👍

in alphabetical order:

@4fterh0urs — my omega phoebe 😩‼️ ily so much bc you’re both extremely stupid n extremely smart at the same time. u mean so much to me and i love talking to u even if u call me such weird as nicknames every damn day 😃 you’re so sexy n hella intimidating smfh idk how i was able to make u my bitch (JK PLS DONT KILL MEE) anyways, thanks for being a real one bae + you’re the person i block the most, so you’re special ig 😹👍 ily you’re actually such a sap but u pretend to be all tough heh <33

@archivednikes — my solar system, my wh*re (lovingly) hi bae 😣 ok yk how much i love u but. im gonna tell u again: ILYSM!! OKAY??? please know that you’re such an amazing human being and you’re SO incredibly talented. god i love u so much please take care of yourself baby, you’re always so kind to other people and i hope you can do the same to yourself. once again, i am so fucking glad you decided to slide into my inbox that day, because now i look forward to talking to you every single morning. insert grabby hands ilysm <33

@boosyboo9206 — onyx hi babes! i’m so so grateful for you omg u dont even know it. you always manage to cheer me up with your antics and you’re always here to support me 🥺 whenever i’m down you somehow aways manage to make me feel a lil better. i love talking to u whether it’s about sth as mundane as the weather or even your obsession with the word peepers. thank you for being you, please take care of yourself and stop sleeping so damn late. ilysm <33

@ch4jime — chloe bae!! 😁 hi omg ilysm you’re so cute and cool and nice urghh thanks for always checking up on me! i love love seeing you in my asks, you’re such a lovely person to be around. i seriously need to be better at dropping in other people’s inbox, so just know that i’ll work on hanging out on your blog more often this year bc ily! i wish u all the best and please never stop being you baby mwah <33

@fairyoomi — hi bae 😣😣 how are u?? i know we don’t talk much anymore, and that’s okie, but i still wanna write u this lil note because i’m so thankful i met you here on tumblr. you’re an amazing writer and u were so sweet to me even when i was a teeny blog who didn’t know anyone. i admire u a lot, yknow? thanks for being such a friendly and welcoming person, ily <33

@gu3to — mochi bestieo 🙀 idk if you’ll even see this smh so i’m just gonna text u after this (if i don’t forget to rip) okay so. hello?! you’re so mf cool and you’re a trendsetter 🤩 yes yes im fueling your god complex it’s bc ily smh. you’re so dumb i wanna choke u sometimes but i won’t bc i’m also just as dumb 😁 pls stop disappearing from the face of the Earth okay ilysm you always keep it real and i know i can always count on u to listen to uh... my shit. okay so when are we gonna make out? 🤨 oki bye <33

@hoekageyama — wifey!! maddie baby urghh yk how much i love you, you’re one of my earliest moots im pretty sure? and aaaaa i’m so so glad i decided to be weird as hell and slide into your asks that day (pancreas. sighs. iconic.) you’re my numero uno whenever i wanna bark about hot 2d boys and what i’d let em do to me coughs err yea hehe. please take care of yourself baby you’re such a sweet and kind and loving person and i’m so glad to have you in my life. smh we text each other lovey dovey texts anyway but i still wanna do this for u 😋 ilysm!!! <33

@honeyskawa — lani baby hi! i know you haven’t been super active lately, but i just wanna tell u that i appreciate u so so much!! you honestly made my goddamn week when u sent me that ask about how i inspired you bc what the heck?? never in my life have i expected to have such an impact on someone. you’re a wonderful writer honestly. i love u so much and i hope everything’s going well baby, i’m excited talk to u more whenever you decide to be active on tumblr again <33

@jougogo — kaybae hi!!! you haven’t been on tumblr much lately but hi sexc it’s me lex lol i’ve moved accs hehe 😎 i hope u see this whenever u get your phone back cries. you’re such an amazing person to be around, always so cheerful and friendly, you exude so much positive vibes and ilysm. you always manage to lift up the mood with your sexc self and i admire u for that. you’re so incredibly chaotic and fun to be around ahrgehxhh i appreciate u sm and i hope you’re taking care of yourself bby ily <33

@kemochie — my waluigi, my favorite f*rry, hi 😝 urghhh god we just started talking everyday pretty recently but god. you’re so funny??? and i love bullying u bc u give me so much material to bully u with (ok jkjk i love u that’s why i bully u smh) also, you’re so incredibly supportive and u were actually the one who pushed me to finally post that atsumu fic, even tho stupid me accidentally deleted it LMAOBSBD anw, u bring sm joy in my life, so thank u for that. we’re a small lil filf and you’re the milf to my dilf LMAO ilysm mwah!! <33

@kenmaki — gabbae! virgo bestie!! hi hi !! you’re such a talented person and you’re an amazing writer, and i hope one day u can get past your insecurities and see yourself as the wonderful person u truly are. i love how we were able to relate to each from how similar virgos think + our initial conversation of dick measurements and such will forever be seared into my memory. and congrats on getting a daily railing on the dash HSBDH i don’t look at em i promise lol 🤩🤩 jdbdhdh ilysm bby <33

@miyams — ren sweet babie hi! you’re so incredibly talented please don’t listen to stupid hate anons. i’ll stab them with a serrated knife if i have to 😠🔪 you’re so flippin cute and sweet i love talking to you, and i love love love whenever u come by my inbox to say hi. i hope we can talk even more in 2021, my dms and asks are always open for u bby (even though i suck at replying right away, sorry abt that huhu) i love u sm baby please take care of yourself <33

@miyasangel — ardie bae 😜 hi sexc!! i still cant believe we talk like everyday now lmaoo i used to think you’re so freaking cool (i still do) and now i’m friends w u whattaheck 🥲 you’re such an amazing writer wtf. i hate that we had to start our friendship on such a sour note (ehem discord ehem) but i’m really glad it brought us closer together. ily cockarden i’ll be sure to bully u even more HAHAGS IM JK makes out w u so hard bc you’re so damn hot ily 😣‼️ <33

@owlywrites — owly baby hello! ily so so much and you’re so talented, you deserve so much recognition. i hope i can read more of your fics soon bc they’re so well written ugh 😣 thanks for always checking up on me and always being so incredibly sweet. i love u so so muchhh huhu i wanna give u the biggest hug in the world :( please take care of yourself and never stop being your genuine self kith kith <33

@rilacry — milfy gorlillola 😜😜‼️ hi sexc. omfg i was so intimidated by u wtf (and i still kinda am smh) bc you’re so cool?? and your writing n carrd making skills are amazing as hell wtf. u just exude BDE bc you’re hella hot AND bc u wanna peg everyone. anyways,, i’m glad we got closer recently, even if it was out of really wack circumstances. ily bae pls stop sticking your memojis everywhere mwah <33

@rintaroll — my kue tete ☹️☹️ ilysm smh bye i can’t believe we’re close now wtf you’ve always been so cool and sexc 😩‼️ oh god i rmb when u were still on your old acc and u seemed so out of reach and i was a lil intimidated ANDBDJD SHHH but yea now ik you’re just a big h word dork and i love u for that 😣 i wish u all the best for your singing career bby you’re such a talented writer AND singer wtf. also you’re so pretty???? wtf how rude 😠 JKJK HAHHSBD ilysm kithes u so hard <33

@tetsoleil — geegee!! hi baby 😣 thanks for being such a sweet human being ily! it’s been a while since we actually talked yeah? but i still want u to know that i love u a lot and i appreciate u so much. i’m so so grateful you’re in my life because you’re such a joy to be around. you’re an amazing writer bby and i hope you get the recognition u deserve. i’m always here for u if u need anything. ilysm bby <33

@velvetfireworks — rachie bae 🤩 my bakso goreng, my golden kiwi!!! ily!! hehe im so glad i decided to slide in your dms when u asked me if i was indo. but ahhhh you’re ao sweet and cute and supportive ilysm. an amaaazing writer and i admire your work so much, but i think you’ve heard me say that multiple times before. i’m so glad we became closer recently through our love for greasy food and wonky lil faces 👁💋👁 kith kith ilysm <33

@yato-o — yato baby hi!! urgh honestly i appreciate u so so much?? i feel so lucky to be able to get to know you. i don’t even remember how we met but ahhh thank u for always stopping by and have a chat with me even though i know you’re a busy person. please take care of yourself and get some rest whenever u need to! don’t feel pressured to come on here if you’re tired baby, im so grateful to have u in my life, i luv youu <33

HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU SEXY BAES!

kisses, lex

#💬#bye this took me so long #the biggest kithes for u all mwa

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bearmyshielf · 4 years

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(Based on the phanthop au created by the lovely @roseltheteacup and @alittlewriter ! Hope you dont mind me doing this, but your au made me sad so I had to write something. Now it’s 1 AM, so off to sleep I go!)

—-

Phantump, the stump Pokemon. According to old tales, these Pokémon are stumps possessed by the spirits of children who died while lost in the forest.

—-

He likes his new trainer.

Lee is kind, and gentle, and he smiles like everything will be alright, now that he’s here. Lee doesn’t mind holding his hand, or peeling the crusts off his sandwiches, buys him chocolate ice cream and cookies and when the skies are clear, brings him to see the stars.

(Back in the forest, it had been dark, so dark. What sunlight he had seen was the little streams of gold that would peek through the leaves on good days, and darkness so complete it frightened him every other day. He had wandered, not knowing what he was missing, what he needed to find, just that he needed to find something. He had memorized every blade of tall grass. He had climbed every tree. He learned how to hide, how to keep quiet, how to make himself small. He learned what was safe to eat and wasn’t, how to see in the dark. He learned how to survive in a forest that seemed intent on swallowing him alive, and he had to do it alone.)

With Lee, he’s never alone. His trainer is always always there, a presence larger than life and just a smile bright as the sun. Lee takes him everywhere, and tells jokes, and makes curry just the way he likes it whenever he wants, wherever they are.

(Colorful mushrooms lighting up hidden paths and rocky mountains with gravel underfoot and the smell of salt by the ocean and rolling meadows filled with Woolos and clouds drifting by a giant window fat and lazy and gem encrusted walls and warm water and and and-

And Lee. He’s there. He’s always always there.)

—-

The first time he sees Lee battle, it’s at the very top of a tower that reaches the clouds.

He doesn’t recognize the other trainer, but they look scary, with the determined looking scowl tugging on their lips and the sharp look in their eyes. A part of him wants to curl up and hide, find a crevice and make himself small, the way he did back in the forest when the bigger Pokemon went by. He doesn’t though. Lee is right there, and he wants to be brave.

The fight is short. The fight is brutal. He watches, agape, as Charizard grows large, larger than any tree he’d ever seen, any pokemon he’d ever meet. He watches as the battle ends in a flash of orange fire, the ends of his leaves warming up as it rushes by.

The battle ends. His awe does not end with it.

Later, they make camp next to Lake Outrage, and Lee has gone to gather some berries. It’s just him and the rest of the team. He gives the others a friendly wave before he floats over to where Lee has left his things, hunting for the red and white balls that he’s always seen trainers with. It isn’t hard to find one, buried under strange pictures and a folded cape. He lifts it and chortles with glee, the sound echoing a hundred times over as he tosses it up and catches it again.

(He remembers the way Lee had done it, powerful arcs and deliberate movements. He remembers how he had felt- like his breath had been stolen- like there’s a sharp ache somewhere inside him, a dull throbbing that won’t go away, heat and ice making his vision blur. It hurt, but in a good way, and he wants that. He’s sure he does.)

It’s hard to imitate his trainer, but he tries, heaves the ball up to his chest and starts to turn around. He gets dizzy soon enough, and does that mean it’s time to let go? He does, and stumbles in midair as the ball leaves his hands to curve upwards gracefully and land on the grass some distance away.

Next to it, Lee, who drops the berries and plates he’s been holding, who’s hands rise up to cover his eyes as the dishes shatter, a thousand little shards sent in all directions. He watches, paralyzed, as his trainer’s shoulders tremble, like they’re caught in their own internal earthquake.

He rushes over, dives into Lee’s chest and clings to his shirt. Lee doesn’t hesistate- his hands come down to cradle him against their chest, shaking, shaking, shaking. He feels something drip on his branches and makes a low crooning noise, a rumbling purr he’d seen Meowths do to comfort their trainers, until Lee’s hands aren’t trembling so much and his shoulders art still.

Lee exhales. It’s a shaky, hollow sound, like someone has torn out his soul, and he never wants them to sound like that again, never, never again. He swears that, even as the rest of the team comes close and Charizard’s wings spread to curl around them.

(Later on he tries to pick up the shards left on the grass, but Lee stops him with red rimmed eyes. “It’s fine.” They murmur as he watches sadly. “You’ll cut yourself; let me do it.)

—-

“Phan?” He asks, confused. Lee smiles at him, pats the air next to him. They’re in the town with budews sleeping in the gardens and a large house nearby, looming.

(He doesn’t like that house. The last time Lee had brought him there, he had felt small: he had felt afraid, and alone, like he was back in the woods and all he could see were shadows. He had run away, and Lee had tore open the countryside looking for him, until his voice cracked and his shouts became whispers. He came back eventually, and Lee had hugged him so fiercely as they begged him to never leave like that again. It took five days before Lee could speak without coughing up blood. Five days of worry and guilt, and the knowledge that his trainer cared enough to look for him, to push himself that far. He doesn’t know why, but he feels like no one’s ever done that for him before.)

“I have someone for you to meet.” Lee smiles. There’s no stumble to their voice. He floats over, confused, as they continue. “Look, here they come now.”

He looks at the direction Lee is pointing and sees a Dubwool, being led by a woman with a shock of orange hair and followed by a Yamper. He looks at Lee, even more confused, but then the Dubwool tackles him.

There’s a commotion and flurry of movement around him, but his vision is filled with white wool and bright eyes, gleaming. The Dubwool nuzzles him, mindful of their horns. It’s you. They say, their voice trailing off to a celebratory bleat. It’s you! You’re back! You finally came back!

He wants to ask who they’re talking about. He wants to ask if they’ve met. Instead, he says nothing at all, as he buries his face in their coarse wool and wonders why this all feels so familiar.

—-

He’s been with Lee for three months when another new face appears.

The trainer looks young, and he doesn’t know them but- he feels like he should, for some reason. They look at him with wide wet eyes and it feels familiar, the way the Pokemon Lee had introduced him to had all felt familiar, like the woman with orange hair had felt familiar. Like it was something he’s forgotten, something he’d witnessed once in a dream.

“...Hey.” They whisper cautiously, picking at the edge of their sleeves with their nails. They’re still watching him with those wide wide eyes, huge and terrified. “Is it really you? Hop?”

That’s his name. He knows that at least, had been there when Lee called him that for the first time. He gives a shrill giggle, and they smile. He thinks that it’s a good expression on them.

“I thought I would never see you again.” The trainer’s lips wobble, and they use their hand to rub at the corners of their eyes. “We didn’t even get to say goodbye, yknow? I didn’t even notice you were gone, not until Leon did.”

He doesn’t understand what they’re trying to say. But he notices the way they’ve begun to curl inwards, eyes on the ground as they struggled to breathe. He knows what that means.

(He doesn’t know this trainer, with their sad smiles and shaking voice, but he knows already that he cant stand to see them cry.)

He floats forward as their eyes begin to droop, the weight of their tears pulling the edges down.

“And I stole your dream even though I didn’t really want to be champion, and I never said anything to you, and I didn’t look for you, I didn’t try and find you-“ they suck in a noisy breath, ribs rattling. “I was so happy to be number one I forgot about you, even though you were always there when I needed you, and I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-“

He noses his way into their arms, as their frame is wracked with heavy sobs that seem to take everything out of them. “I’m sorry-“ They croak, voice cracking, and repeat. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry- Hop, I’m sorry.“

He doesn’t know what they’re apologizing for, but he decides he’s forgiven them for it. He buries his face into the crook of their neck and listens to the apologies whistling out from between their teeth.

—-

He’s watching his trainer battle his rival and he feels something like pride, something a little more bittersweet- he watches them trade blows and something in him rings hollow, like a strike against an empty glass of water.

“I’ve never met a Phantump before.” The little girl next to him says. He cocks his head. “There’s never been any near Hammerlocke. And anyway, you’re the only one that has purple leaves.”

Was he? He bats at the purple foliage peeking out of his stump, wondering. Maybe that made him special. The girl watches him through the corner of her eyes.

“Though, we’ve met before, haven’t we? I asked your friend to deliver a letter for me. You were there too. You helped.” She smiles and smiles and keeps smiling, but she’s gone perfectly still.

He blinks in confusion.

“I never thanked you for that.”

She reaches out and pats him on the side of his head, and still confused, he lets her. “It’s not too late for you. You have got to remember.”

“Hey!” Lee calls from below. He turns to look at him: he’s flushed and grinning from victory, as his rival sighs over their rotom phone. “Come on, let’s go!”

He begins to follow his trainer, but not before sparing one more look behind him.

The little girl is not there.

—-

There’s a trainer waving a feathered stick around.

He floats over to investigate, the chiming of the bell alluring despite himself. The trainer chuckles as he bats at the toy, arms moving to and fro to attack it.

“I heard who you are.” The Trainer mutters as the toy begins to slow. Their eyes stay locked on him. “I heard it from the Champion. You’re Hop, aren’t you?”

That’s his name, so he nods. The trainer huffs out a brittle laugh, looking away and running a hand through his mess of unruly curls.

“...It was my fault.”

They don’t wait for him to understand. They barrel on, the words leaving them in a rush.

“You- you were ten. I was ten. Shit, we were stupid little kids, and I... I said that to you, and you disappeared, and I’m so fucking sorry for that. It was my fault.” They sigh. “What I did was unforgivable.”

He watches as they fiddle with the collar of their pink shirt, unable to meet his eyes. For some reason, he feels a stab of deja vu.

“Just... I’m glad you’re happy now, at least.”

—-

In the end, all it takes is a realization.

He’s sitting in Lee’s help and the thought strikes him how many friends he has now; how many memories shared. He’s sitting on Lee’s lap and all he feels is safe: all he feels is content.

(He thinks of the familiar Pokemon and the trainer with huge eyes and everyone else he had met, and he thinks of lonely days in a wood filled with fog and thinks that he is happy with what he has now.)

“I love you.” He hears Lee whisper as they poke at the fire, and he- he wants to respond.

(He’s warm and safe and happy, surrounded by companions, watching the stars twinkle overhead, and he’s never felt farther than his origins before: like the years he had spent in those woods never happened, like he never had to learn how to be small and safe. The darkness seems so far away, with the campfire spitting embers into the distance. He’s here, and he’s happy, and it feels like a dream come true.)

“Love you too Lee.” He whispers, actually whispers, with a voice that isn’t a chorus of screams, and-

-something in his soul slides right into place, and clicks.

(He isn’t lost anymore.)

#pokemon sword and shield #pokemon swish #hop #leon #bede #phanthop au #angst #angst with a happy ending I PROMISE #i stayed up way too late for this

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unravelling-the-world · 3 years

Text

random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie. back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time. i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

#long post #hinatalks #we live in a society #fr fr #when i die....if god is real..i´ll end this once and for all. all of it #i am left with nothing but pain and anger.... i cant even feel anymore. i think i forgot how to

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comradekatara · 4 years

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any headcanons for if Zuko/Sokka got married in the canon world like after Izumi's born and everything? What kind of couple would they be? What kind of parent is Sokka?

sorry this took so long to respond to! here be some bullet points:

while i like where your head’s at, i also am deeply opposed to marriage as an institution and firmly maintain that zuko and sokka in fact do everything in their power to abolish marriage in the fire nation. in fact, i once even wrote an entire post detailing how they go about accomplishing this.

i also don’t think that sokka ever lives anywhere full-time. i’m convinced he has a meticulously-crafted schedule of where he goes when during the year, and tries to divide his time among all the various parts of the world where his friends live fairly evenly.

he crashes with toph (or aang when he has had enough of toph being a horrible roommate) in republic city, with suki on kyoshi island, with katara in the south pole, and zuko in the fire nation. not only do i think he’d get bored if he spent all his time in one place, but that’s frankly pretty irresponsible of him considering he is the official babysitter of every world leader (this not only includes, but especially goes for king kuei).

and when he’s not with at least one member of the gaang, he’s traveling by himself thinking about how all his friends are doing important work meanwhile he’s just procrastinating and goofing off (he’s discovering quantum physics, but since literally no one else would care except for toph he wonders whether he should just bake her a cake instead and it would have the same effect on the world. only he cant bake for shit so), but actually whenever he’s not around, literally everyone (this includes iroh, for he knows no other pai sho opponents worthy) is like “damn when sokka’s getting back tho” (he gets tackle-hugged a lot)

the day zuko stops to be like “woah hold up. there’s a baby in this dumpster” is the day his entire life changes. for one thing, he’s deeply concerned that his citizens think it’s okay to dispose of babies by just. throwing them in the trash???? he establishes 200% more orphanages. but also, he’s keeping this baby, because how can he not, and look at her little face!!!!!!

not only does sokka (obviously) help raise izumi, he also helps raise lin and su as well, because let’s be honest, toph needs the help. not to mention katara’s (not that she’s a bad mom or anything, but someone needs to teach her kids math, yknow?) sometimes people ask suki when she’s gonna have kids, and at first she was just like “why the fuck would you assume that i want kids” but then her go-to response just started being “with whom? sokka? he already has six”

when izumi is crowned firelord and zuko can finally abdicate, he moves to a cottage on a mountain on an island in an archipelago off the coast of the fire nation, the location of which is only known by his closest friends and family, and is only accessible by dragon or flying bison. finally, he can live that sweet sweet #HermitLife babey! not a single piece of furniture in his entire house is red.

in fact, red is BANNED. he got reprimanded every time he tried to redecorate the fire palace even a little (he only wanted to repaint all the walls and vandalize all the portraits of ozai, azulon, and sozin...) but now is finally his time to shine. he paints one room light blue, one room a soft green, and the other room a pale yellow. the only acceptable reds are on the covers of books and the fruits in the kitchen. when the firelord comes to visit him, which she often does, she takes off her crown and changes out of her traditional robes. she loves the fire nation, and takes pride in her country, its values and its history (well, parts of it), but.. she gets it.

when izumi is in her early teens, she goes to live with katara in the south pole for a while. she thinks it’s valuable that as the heir to the throne, she actually get to know her future political allies. and she’s only met katara a handful of times, because katara absolutely loathes going to the fire nation and flat-out refuses to do so except for occasions that require the use of the fire palace, and even then she first pleads with toph if the palace can’t at least first be moved?

izumi has never been anywhere like the south pole before. katara takes her penguin sledding and izumi is lowkey scared because riding a penguin down a very steep hill doesn’t seem very safe, but she reminds herself that her dad warned her that katara is a *shudders* jock and she’s just going to have to get used to that for the next few weeks because katara simply does not understand the concept of being an indoor kid.

katara also shows her how politics is done in the south pole, and it’s really very fascinating because she’s never seen a huge public forum in action before, and she can’t believe that katara actually listens to every single citizen, and even addresses them all by name. as much as she knows that her dad cares, he also cannot remember anyone’s fucking name for the life of him. she thinks she wants her reign as firelord to be a bit more like katara’s, and when she tells him this, zuko is so very proud of her. (sokka’s just like “oh boy.”)

izumi is a lesbian, obviously (i mean, just look at her), and she has the five greatest mentors in the world. ty lee and suki teach her self-defense and how to say no to men. toph teaches her how to be confident and embrace her creativity, and she’s always there to give her sound, albeit harsh advice. mai is just plain awesome. and she and azula adore each other. though azula was also a precocious child, she used her talents to be coy, as opposed to plainspoken. she loves how direct izumi is, how she has no problem communicating her wants and needs, and calling people out on their bullshit. if azula says something she disagrees with, she engages her in a discussion about it, and azula finds that even though she’s talking to a child, she is genuinely intellectually stimulated. azula says to zuko one day “out of all the dumpsters in in all the alleys in all the world, she fell into yours...” and zuko’s like “is that a casablanca reference?” and azula’s like “no what the fuck is a casablanca”

zuko hates the fire palace. he hates it slightly less every time sokka voices all his concerns with it: “it’s ostentatious, it’s gaudy, it’s too big, the furniture is tacky, that chandelier is a hazard,” etc. but sokka thinks the hidden passages are really cool, and zuko loves the garden and not one day goes by where he doesn’t feed the turtleducks, and they both agree that the best room in the palace by far is the library. it’s no wan shi tong, but it’s close. there’s a lot of resources they have due to a century’s worth of colonialism, but after asking permission from the southern water tribe, the earth kingdom, and aang, zuko returns the original manuscripts (he keeps the air nomad artifacts in his possession until aang founds air temple island, for safekeeping) but keeps copies. and eventually, their joint dissertation on king lear makes its way onto a shelf, too.

#imo marriage is just when u coauthor a dissertation w someone....... so......#asks #izumi #zuko #sokka #katara #azula #sokkaxzuko #keiynans-lonsdale

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shattered-catalyst · 5 years

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So this isnt for anything other than just to say what happened just so I feel heard and I can explain why I cant be as energetic and socially active on here. Its not a callout post or to be reblogged/shared by people. Its not to get anyone in trouble or to cause any reaction. It’s just for me to let it out and reclaim this space again. Its been a year since it happened and I guess I’m just still noticing how badly it has impacted my PTSD. How much its changed me as a person both online and off, and this isnt a woe as me thing either this is just me feeling a need to be heard and explain my own behavior over the year and also to make one simple request of you guys: no matter what you do, always treat your rp partners as people first and writers second.

Because I feel myself becoming bitter and that isnt who I am and I dont want to be someone like that. Or like this. I want to be me again

The person who did this wont be named mainly because they dont deserve it and yall dont need to know. Their behavior when I confronted them more than cements the impression that they dont see any harm in what they said and how they reacted. And again this isnt about them though In A Way I suppose it is? it takes two to tango but it takes one to encourage someone to kill themselves.

This is going to be long because I need to inform on the activity that lead up to this because it didnt just happen over night- though in a way it did. But you need a better picture of this person because apparently they present a really great face that only a few of us see the manipulative and toxic side of.

This person was always very judgemental and hyper critical. I witnessed a lot of very negative and toxic behavior from them but I was naive and just hoped they would mature as they grew older and gained more independence. I thought it was just a toxic friend group and that perhaps she would recognize her self destructive and immature behavior and grow from it.

My first red flag should have been when they accused me of being their ex girlfriend SOLELY because I was living in PA. I hate to break it to yall, but PA is a big ass state and has a lot of comic book loving ladies. Thankfully I have never met this person IRL and I hope I never do.

They tried to pull me into making fun of other muns on discord, including mocking sensitive pictures from a mun’s personal blog. I blatantly said it wasnt okay and made me uncomfortable and she continued laughing and making jokes about it with her friend group on discord. She kept trying to pull me into it no matter how often I tried to change the subject.

Her group of friends also did this thing where one of them would go interact with a mun an they would take screenshots of the convo and share it with the group and mock the mun they were interacting with. Whether it be their presentation of character/grahics/writing style/ etc.

The other red flags I ignored? How much she complained and mocked other muns and compared them to me; if anyone did anything or said anything she disagreed with it was an instant blow up. She took EVERYTHING personally including other people writing the same characters she did, having differing headcanons, not knowng obscure details about canon, etc.

She once tried to make fun of a new writing partner I had who was writing the same character, and I had to break it to her that this new person could write in her first language if she wanted to; im being very vague but let me just say if you and your character have the same first language and you want to write in it then its completely WRONG for a white mun to try and make fun of you for it.

She once suggested I had stolen pictures off her pinterest when she sent me a moodboard request for my character. Jokes on her I didnt even know she HAD a pinterest and I had gotten all my pictures from the ‘green aesthetic’ tag on tumblr. Which I told her but she kept pushing the idea on me I had stolen them. I of course dismissed this and put it on the back burner despite the alarm bells going off.

This hyper critical and paranoid behavior continues with everything from other canon blogs making similar head canons/ vaguely similar graphics/ to fanfiction authors having similar head canons/plot ideas.

My penname Citrus? I didnt want one. I didnt want it. She demanded I have a pen name and if not she was going to call me Cat. Now as yall know I dont like being enmeshed with my muse so I keep myself separate from them. I didnt like being called Cat and I told her that explicitly. She kept doing it. So I had to make a pen name because she refused to respect my boundaries.

When the Deadpool movie came out she DEMANDED I change my FC to reflect the movie Despite Not Changing Hers to reflect her own characters new look - which might i add is fat erasure. It was clear then that the rules and standards she held other people to didnt apply to herself. I was labeled problematic for not giving into her demands to change FCs (which I have a literal logical reason for not changing and im not explaining that here)

So I shouldve left. Long story short I didnt because every friendship I’d been in until around this time had been abusive and toxic. I thought this was all normal behavior for people to have and I was convinced I was just being critical of someone elses opinions/ insensitive etc. Thanks to my colleagues in graduate school and to several of you on here I learned that ‘hey dumbass friends dont treat your ass like this’.

Im leaving a lot out about the shit she did/said to me but those snippets give you an idea of things.

Leading up she decided to leave fandom and asked we didnt talk about marvel I said cool okay and didnt talk about marvel with her. If I did I would ask first if she was okay if we talked about one small aspect I thought might excite her/ she would like to know about but it wasnt often that happened because she began ghosting me. Hard. She stopped replying to me at all over discord when I would try and talk to her how we used to about our lives. She didnt answer any asks for munday or character development, in fact she blatantly ignored me.

I checked in a couple times with her to make sure I hadnt done anything to make her uncomfortable and she said no. May I emphasize she said no here. Im emphasizing it right now. She said no. She said everything was fine. So when I was like hey dude this is super triggering for me can you send me like a hi every once in awhile just so I can know we’re okay because its super triggering for me. Yall know what she did? She ‘lmao’-ed. she thought that was hecka funny. Yeah triggering ‘Citrus’ is hilarious isnt it? No it isnt and I shouldve cut her ass off right then and there.

Heres where shit gets confusing: she kept fucking talking about marvel to me. Id get messages at random times about marvel and then silence for weeks. I vividly remember during this period I was cleaning the museum vault and she kept messaging me about her marvel fc’s and how she wouldnt get a plotline and how characters were wrong etc.

I remember being REALLY confused because she had said NO MARVEL. But here she was bitching at me about marvel. In fact thats all she did when she did talk to me. Which was only like three or four times during the ghosting time period. She’d bitch about marvel and then vanish.

Shed make claims about not watching her dash and thats why she never responded to me/ interacted with me. She’d say she wasnt talkng to anyone while I see her on the dash TALKING TO PEOPLE and Id like to point out Ive told her I would be fine ending anything as long as she let me know.

but she followed me on every blog and throughout this time period she made and followed me on numerous ones. She kept reaching out sporadically to bitch about her fcs/how horrible marvel was/ and thats it.

It was extremely confusing because if someone doesnt want to talk to me I assume they will; 1. unfollow 2. block 3. say goodbye 4. ghost and stay ghosted.

Not cycle through behavior rapidly. I asked her a few times if we were good and that I was confused and I got another ‘lmao’ reaction so I assumed we were good. At this point I still have no idea what was going on/ what message I was supposed to be receiving other than confusion.

So following this is heavily suicide tw and I encourage you not to read this part and to scroll down until the suicide tw is over which is highlighted in bold- if you’re triggered by that because I care about those who follow my blog.

So thats when this shit happened. I had tried reaching out to her on a different fandom platform to try and maintain the friendship. Because she said numerous times that we were friends. So like I reached out thinking maybe she just didnt want a marvel blog period. It wasnt too long after that that she suicide baited me.

I was in a really bad place and had been for awhile and when I posted about how the only thing holding me on was the new comic coming out and specifically said “im seriously suicidal and this comic is the only thing giving me hope #idk what to do anymore ”. I was surprised when she liked the post.

I was three steps into a four step plan. I had everything but the method planned out and was just waffling along with that. Because yknow its complicated and you do it you make it count amiright. Right. I was in a fucked up place. I had just realized I was gay, I was horrendously depressed, I was in considerable physical pain, I was working 70 hours a week, my OCD was at an all time high and the only thing that kept me on this earth was a fucking comic book. You hold onto what you need to yknow?

WELL APPARENTLY NOT

Because this person who doesnt read her dash? This person who doesnt want to talk about anything? Liked that post where I specifically stated I was suicidal and sent me a discord message saying “dont have hope”.

Thats all it said “dont have hope”

Now I know what youre thinking but hold on because it gets worse.

I said something about being confused I dont really remember because I was pretty out of it. I do remember she kept going on about how horrible the comic would be and that it would be a piece of trash. I remember telling her I was really numb and in a bad place and couldnt feel anything. I remember her sending me screencaps and continuing to go ON AND ON about how it wasn’t worth reading.

I remember with gross intensity how someone who said they were my friend was taking away the only thing that was keeping me alive.

I dont remember how the conversation ends. I called out of work for the next three days. I was catatonically depressed and unable to really move. I didnt eat either. I went to internship, work, and school in a state of dissociation.

I took screencaps of everything and set them aside for later. IDK what I was going to use them for but I set them in a folder on my desktop, looking back I regret what I did next; because I deleted them. I deleted them because I thought maybe she had been manic or drunk and hadn’t realized the scope of what was happening. I wanted to talk to her about it and clear things up because I believed in her. I believed there was no way she would be so callous as to do that on purpose. No way would someone try and get someone they called a friend to kill themselves. So I deleted the screencaps and my post on tumblr. I deleted all evidence to protect her and I encourage you all never to fucking do that even if you think that person misunderstood the gravity of your situation. Because if you’re wrong no ones going to believe you.

I remember shifting between intense depression and total denial.

I spent the rest of that month in and out of intense dissociative states when I wasnt in class or working with my clients. During the middle of October my sister sent me pictures of a litter of puppies and I was like ‘well, i really need to either kill myself or make sure i dont’. I spent a few days continuing to waffle with that decision but then i remembered my mom cosigned my loans and I cant leave her with that debt because fuck we cant even afford my funeral to begin with. So I adopted a dog, I named him Julio to remind me to keep living and he finally came to me on halloween.

He was the only reason I left bed on my days off. I tried not to think about it but I did.

I continued to spiral with heavier dissociative episodes and vivid nightmares about it.

SUICIDE TW OVER

I waited until Christmas to ask her to clarify the situation and let her know I no longer felt comfortable writing with her. I reminded her what happened and told her to check her discord if she wanted to see for herself etc.

She sent two long asks of combative, emotionally abusive, and gaslighting accusations. The first thing she did was say I needed to provide evidence if I went around making accusations like that. Then she cascaded into how I always talked about marvel *points up to where i explained what happened earlier*. She tried gaslighting me like a champion and tried turning me into a horrible person the only problem is everything she was accusing me of doing was the shit she was doing to me. Everything.

Even if I was bad at any time I had given her numerous chances to tell me I was overstepping a boundary- she always said no. I gave her numerous times to unfollow me if she wasnt interested in interacting with me- she never did. In fact I had unfollowed her that month because of her behavior towards me and she hadnt even noticed.

I let her know I could tell she was angry, and that I didnt take receipts of private conversations because I believed in settling things like adults, and that if she ever wanted any proof it was all in her discord anyway. I let her know she could contact me to apologize but otherwise I didnt want her on any of my blogs and I told her the first thing she should have done wasnt demand receipts but she should have asked if I was okay. Its a real reflection of where her priorities were when she demands evidence rather than checks to see if a writing partner is okay.

Even if I did something horrible it doesnt warrant someone trying to get me to end my life.

I was notified she put a post on her blog apologizing to her followers for being a bad friend and that she was a horrible person and ofc everyone was like ‘noooo youre perfect’ and its like ya thats not for me who hasnt followed her in months- thats to save face.

Her friends blogs kept visiting my profile and going through the month where this happened.

Everything she did and said was to save face. Her blog and her reputation are the only thing she cared about. She has never approached me to apologize or anything of the sort and I doubt she ever will. I would hope she would never do this again and I hope she has grown as a person since. That her life is better and her mother is okay, that shes happy and learning.

I know by posting this I will never receive an apology- then again i never expected one to begin with. I could go through all the trouble of restoring the deleted files but to be honest it isnt worth it because theres no room in my life for that type of toxicity.

Since this happened I:

I have stronger episodes of depression and dissociation since.

My PTSD has increased and I have week long spikes in anxiety attacks, depression and decreased self worth if I even see her around the rpc despite being blocked, blacklisted on xkit etc.

Have more difficulty completing basic self care tasks due to an increase in depression and a decrease in self worth.

I have nightmares about this event and her to this day a year later.

I cannot interact with the RPC how I once did as I fear seeing her on my dash or any sort of information getting back to her about me.

It took me half a year to see the character she wrote as as safe again and for awhile I couldnt even look at him without experiencing an anxiety attack.

I keep having nightmares. Its been a year and I still have nightmares about this.

I find myself having more difficulties connecting with people online especially on this blog. I’m constantly on edge when interacting with people and I feel spikes of anxiety at the merest thought of someone talking about me to her.

I find myself unable to have confidence as a writer or creator online because I have been reminder of the cement wall between oc characters and their canon counterparts.

I cannot go out and just follow anyone and be friendly and trusting with them anymore, even with people I already know. In the back of my mind is a constant reminder of how she and her friends used to check up on people and pretend to write with them/ interact with them just to take screenshots of conversations to share with the group. I have become a paranoid little bitch in the past year is what Im saying. like theres 0 need for that shit.

I blocked most of the people she interacted with simply to save myself from being triggered by her blogs/ mentions of her and that isnt fair to those people.

I remember the photo incident and how people derived such joy from mocking someones body. I can think of so many incidents of them making fun of others and I remember how that could be happening about me rn, and I wonder if anyone would stick up for me like I did for the other mun.

I hope by posting this I can try and return to the person I was before this happened. I can try and not be so bitter and reach out again to others. That somehow I can continue working on making tumblr a safe place for me again and not a PTSD laced minefield.

I would like to remind this isnt a callout and I request if you know who this is about you dont say anything to them. This isnt for them. They have NEVER reached out to apologize for their actions. They have NEVER checked to see if I was okay after that. They have NEVER shown any remorse for encouraging me to kill myself and while I hope they’ve grown from the situation and will never do it again I doubt I will ever get closure from such an event. But i DO hope by writing this I can take this place back.

Consider this my first step towards bringing this up to a therapist.

Consider this another step to me taking this blog back and feeling safer here; and maybe just maybe Ill make up a cool pen name for myself and own that shit.

If you’ve read this far thank you for your patience with me, and I request you always treat your writing partners like the people that they are.

This post is not intended or written to leave this blog and therefore I request you not reblog it or share segments of it with ANYONE. If I find you have shared anything on here without my explicit permission I will block you.

‘Citrus’

#suicide tw #gaslighting tw #emotional abuse tw

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flamebrain · 5 years

Text

mattfoggy hcs, straight from the bastard empire sorry these all read like shitepostes(L O N G post under cut you’ve been warned)

WTNV au:

nightvale is just populated by like. vigilantes and other poewered people and foggy shoes up one day like. hey anyone need a lawyer? and the whole town falls in love w him

MURDERDOCK IS KEVIN

matt does radio and talks about foggys perfect hair and perfect teeth and foggy calls in like "heh, thanks dude, but aren't you like blind?" and matt shuts the call off immediatley

everybody knows matt is daredevil because he makes wink wink nudge nudge comments about it like 'ah. it appears that an entity has appeared near the dog park. castle appears to be on the scene now, and...ok, he's got a gun. i cant do anything about that, but my pal (noises of him scrambling and obviously knocking things over) daredevil might be able OKHERESTHEWEATHER" and it cuts off and like. he shows up 5 seconds later to kick frank in the face for using lethal measures AGAIN

EVERY TIME IT CUTS TO THE WEATHER AND THEN CUS BACK AND THE PROBLEM HAS BEEN SOLVED ITS JUST MATT. like. breathing just a little heavier than normal into the mic like. 'so it appears uh. the issue has been resolved thanks again to daredevil and his pal moon knight. such a shame i had to cower under my desk while the weather was on. ok goodnight'

the funky thing abt nightvale in this au is that it's basically just like. new york from 616 but foggy's like. from our earth so he's like HWAT THE FUCK AND AHIT IS GOING ON IN HERE ON THIS DAY AND WHY CANT I LEAVE he gets kidnapped by super villains on like his second day in town and immediatley regrets every life choice he's ever made

matt works at nightvale radio by day and conviently cuts to the weather every time something comes up so sometimes there's like. 7 half hour weather broadcasts a day and the townspeople just. humor him

foggy falls in love with matt after figuring out after .5 seconds that he's daredevil and he saved him from a bunch of baddies on like his second day and matt compliments him on the radio like every day and yeah they're fuckin good ok assorted stupid college hcs: matt and foggy like to chill in each other's beds. foggy doesn't notice that often because matt moves back b4 he gets back and matt pretends not to notice but like. he can smell foggy was there. foggy. stop napping in this bed you're making my sheets smell like you, foggy, i KNOW they're silk and i know you think you're getting away with it but you're NOT,

matt, coming back into the dorm after being out for the day: foggy are you laying on my bed foggy, sitting up straight: nah pal. just sitting on the end for a minute hehe. just had to rest the old joints matt, knowing DAMN well that he was lying down a second ago and he's obviously lying but not being able to say anything; haha ok. move

hrnnn matt knows foggy is gay long before he tells him because he catches him in a lie about who he was out with but he can't say anything and like. he knows foggy is scared to tell him but he doesn't know how to bring it up and he's like. i want him to know he can trust me but i don't know how to tell him i know please foggy

foggys heart goes a mile a minute anytime the subject of being gay comes up around matt and matt wants to yell at him that it's OK and he doesn't care but his hints that he's fine with it seem to fly right over foggys head and so one day he gets so fed up with trying to convince foggy he's chill with gay people he just kisses him. wig

hrnnn. matt doesn't like the snow because it messes with his senses and he can't see but he can't say that to foggy so he just says he doesn't like the cold and foggys like "yeah doofus you weigh like three pounds you're skin and bone compared to me smh" and insists on cuddling him every time he sees matt get like That bc he thinks he's just chilly and it's. oddly comforting to matt because yeah. nobody really Holds him like that, and he Is Cold, and foggy is Warm,

matt gets Very touchey around people he's close with and so when he gets close with foggy he puts his arm around him a lot, rests his head on his shoulder, holds his arm even when they're not going anywhere, etc. foggys heart speeds up every time but matt just assumes that's what people hearts do when that happens because he doesn't really do that with anyone else and hey, he's happy when he does it and his heart maybe spikes a little too, but then he gets someone else's arm to lead him when foggys sick one week and their heart stays the exact same, what's up with that? so then he starts paying attention to all the people on campus, and the touching doesn't usually make the hearts go wild, but, well. matt 'sees' it happens and he's like HaHa, See, This is A Thing, and then he realizes that the people that have it happen to them? they're couples. and he just. freezes because first of all, Foggy- and at him- an- and second, his heart ALSO does a thing, so-

heres a rEALLY stupid unrelated au/hc i got after hearing a friends disater story hfdjhskja matt goes on a blind (hehe) date with a girl and it's pretty much a disaster, it turns out she brought her friend who is also meeting a guy at the same place, and like. she's obviously incredibly wack she says blind people are god's mistake and stupid shit like that so matt gets up halfway through their meal to go sit in the bathroom for 20 minutes while he thinks of an excuse to leave? and eventually a guy comes in and he's like 'uh hey, dude, you in here? your date grabbed her friend and left so we're both dateless now, thats a relief for me and unless you're just having incredibly bad bowel movements i think it's pobably one for you since you Have been in here for like half an hour uh im foggy by the way' and then they go back out and sit together and talk about how wack that fuckin was and like. inadvertent date

hey i can talk a lot of shit about how matt falls asleep on foggy but. sometimes foggy falls asleep on or next to or with matt and matt goes !!!! and he does not move and then he eventually falls asleep with foggy head on his shoulder and his head on foggys and when FOGGY wakes up and realizes matts still there and is ALSO asleep he doesn't move and eventually falls back asleep and then it's just like. waiting until the time aligns that they're both awake at the same time because neither wants to move and wake the other send tweet

SOULMATE AU:

foggy looks up from his college bed, sees matt, and suddenly EVERYTHING is fucking rainbow and he's like 'oh fuck. oh shit. wait. this is a dude' and matt's like 'is everything ok my guy?' because foggy's like. >:O and of course he has no idea because he's blind but foggy doesnt realise this and for a hot minute he;s like "OH FUCK. ITS ONE OF THOSE RARE OCASIONS WHERE HES PERFECT FOR ME BUT I'M NOT FOR HIM," and is about to s o b before he's like wait a fucking minute

yknow the au where like. the first words you hear from your soulmate are marked on your skin at birth? foggy's are 'excuse me', absolutley common, a chance meeting, and he stops jumping every single time he hears them after age 8 when he realises just how many times that phrase is said. matt's are 'yeah, who're you looking for,' but he doesnt remember that, there's no constant reminder of it since he's blind, the nuns wouldn't tell him, the kids made up childish shit like 'poopoo', and stick DEFINITLEY wouldnt fucking tell him because hes stick and hes an asshead and eventually matt stops asking and caring. it takes WEEKS for after they meet for foggy to ask matt about his words and matt just says 'oh yeah, i dont remember. here" and shows foggy and when he sees them he's like. 'hm. sounds familiar' and forgets about it untill like two years later theyre drunk and talking about the first time they met and matt's like 'yeah you asked like 'who'm i looking for and then panicked because i was blind' and foggy's brain just like. short circuits for a whole ass minute and then when it clicks he just goes. "yOU"

TRANS MATT:

matt realises when he's still in the orphanage that mayhaps he hates being not a dude and haha! hes not gonna fucking come out to catholics he knows about That. he tries to tell stick, around the time their closest, and FUCK STICK he refuses to call him anything else or support him becaise stick is a peace of fuck shit FUCK STICK so that scars matt from coming out for a DAMN while so like. when he goes to college he introduces himself to everyone as matt and emails his proffesors like. 'hello please my name is redacted on your forms please call me matt its uh. a nickname' and he's not like. out to anyone but matt is close enought to his deadname that most people don't question it. foggy does, though, a little while after they meet, and matt is so fed up with not telling people and being called the wrong pronouns he just goes 'i want to be a guy ok' and goes absolutley APESHIT when foggy's like 'oh, cool. do you want me to use he pronouns for you' because wait. people are...ok sometimes? and matt's like. about to cry

alternatley: matt says "I don't wanna be a girl." and foggy goes "oh hey are you trans? same hat!" and then foggy tells matt like. binding tips and shit and theyre Good ok

deadpool kills transphobes, sm n dd just fucking beat the SHIT out of them in a back alley and like. they let DP know where they are but whatever happens happens :D

elektra, impaling two transphobes onto the side of a building with her knives: matthew, i know you can hear me, why

one day elektra sees matt has dumped a guy on her roof and just. sighs and goes back inside and matt waits for like 15 minutes before halfheartedly picking up the dude and dropping him off at franks.

matt dropped them off at nats One Time and she went apeshit and hunted down like 20 more of them.

foggy, holding a bat: cmon matt let me kill ONE matt: 'fine but if you get caught im not going to be your lawyer.'

INTO THE DEVILVERSE AU:

earth 14512/TRN700 (peni parker’s universe) matt murdock has a robot seeing eye dog who's also a vigilante

hddjdsjdhdn they all show up to earth 6's foggy and he just. sighs and all the devils start crying because He Is Here

hmm ok. canonically we know nothing about miles's matt but we know he exists and is known figure because miles knows of him but doesn't know he's daredevil i'm Prefty Sure so like. i'm gonna say he's just a successful lawyer who has radarsense but never got yoinked away from the orphanage by stick and never got training so like. hemndhdjsjnow the QUESTION is who finds that matt because there's a Very Different outcome depending on if like. murderdock meets him first or the matt from hobopeters universe does

hmm. murderdock comes in first like gwen does but doesn't out himself as competent w like swords and shit. but he OH HES THE OPPOSING FORCE FOR UH A COURT CASE MATT IS IN AND MATT HAS NO IFEA HOW SIMILAR THEY LOOK BECAUSE HES BLIND HRNNNNNHSHDHDHDJ and then matt from HP's universe comes in like HEY YOURE ME RIGHT. what the FUCK i need the laws in this dimension STAT and murderdock ':"sees" him and is like ah fuck. my goose may be uhhh cooked

ok mileses matt is like 'so what brought y'all here??? hhh???? and murderdock sighs and goes well my boss who's not really my boss from MY universe is doing something stupid here and opened a dimensional portal and it could maybe tear the multiverse apart which i guess i'm not stoked about' and matt's like 'who's your boss?' and murderdock begrudgingly says 'wilson fisk' and matt immediatley goes >:O because he's CONSTANTLY defending people who were injured as a result of what fisk and his company do

anyways. matt immediatley rushes to foggys because "foggys my partner, he's helped me deal with fisk, he knows him, he can help," and he swings open the door and like. one of two things happens actually either A: foggy is like matt. MAATT. AHAT IS GOING ON WH. WHY IS THERE A TALKING DEER WEARNING SPANDEX WHO CLIMBED THROIGH MY WINDOW MATT PLEASE HE SAYS HES Y O U or like. matt walks in and deerdevil is playing pattycake with robodog and daredevil noir is incessantly flirting with foggy and when matt comes in foggys like 'hey. i don't know what's going on but i think i'm trading my best friend'

murderdock is like...the cool college student who tells freshies about weed murderdock: so, you don't know how to fight right matt: no??? i'm blind??? md: but you can kinda see right. matt: yeah like a radar kinda md: normal blind people can't do that you know matt: they wHAT md: you can listen to heartbeats if you try hard enough. you can tell when people are lying matt: i can W H A T md: yeah. what me to teach you how to kill a man matt: W H AT NO IM A L A W Y E R WH

hrnnn the matts in this universe push our matt away to stay with foggy because he doesn't deserve 2 die and you KNOW every matt pushes people away but foggy is like. matt i know you tried it's ok i lov you buddy and he's like HRGGHHHH FUNCK YOU and makes foggy tell him stories untill he can distinguish lies and hide in a place around their office untill matt can like. find him instantly and training montage shit you feel me and he rolls up to the collider in his black pjs like "hello my fellow devil men. i hear you all have no plan. well. i don't either but i'm here" and one matt is like. how did you go-OH YOU DID IT and all the mats high five and cry a littlethey're still reluctant to let matt come help but they're all like. "we're all depressed and suicidal anyways we all have big guilt and if we didn't let him i lnOW he's gonna have big guilt forever he can stay"

THE PENUMBRA PODCAST AU:

foggy is a private eye, kinda depressed a lil bit, and he works w his secretary karen who helps him with tech and stuff because he is god awful at all that

"mike whatevermaggiesmaidennameis" is an occult specialist from dark matters agency assigned by an agent natasha of dark matters to help him with his current case.

foggy does NOT want to do this with any damn occultist or whatever the hell but before he can escape mike shows up and god DAMN is he charming and catches him before he can climb out the window, so. that's that for introductions. anyways, hijinks, elektra is cassandra, if you care listen to the murderous mask, anyhoo foggy stars to notice something is kinda weird about matt but brushes it off. they finish investigating and retrieve an important artifact.

it's cold, mike says. sorry dude, all the places near here are closed, foggy says. is your place? mike asks. oh, says foggy they go back to foggys place and maybe make out a little bit, but foggy realizes oh shit, mike just tried to steal the keys to my safe where i stored the artifact, shit, and plaxces him under arrest before he can do anything, and calls the cop cops.

they come to take mike away, and minutes later foggy finds a note, scrawled INCREDIVLY messily, in his pocket. "sorry," it says, "i wasn't tricking you about anything i said, and i meant everything i did. -matt murdock ps. check around, say, X avenue. you may have to do a bit of cleanup." when foggy checks cameras that overview there, he find the officers that took murdock from his apartment hogtied together, and sees their clothes strewn on the ground - forming letters - with love. their car is gone. PODCAST AU:

matt listens to podcasts a lot right and so foggy is like hmm mayhaps this is a good idea. but the type of podcasts they listen to differs so incredibly like matt listens to serial and the wildest one he listens to is probably judge john hodgman whereas foggy listens to shitpost podcasts like mbmbam and can i pet your dog foggy keeps referencing mbmbam around matt because he just assumes that he listens to it and matt is so confused every time and one day foggy says "damn matt you're really horny for this one huh" and matt just snaps and says FOGGY WHAT DO YOU M E AN

so then they are like oh shit you're not listening to the good ones. no YOURE not listening to the good ones. solution? listen together which means sharing earbuds which means sitting next to eachother on small college bed which means????? cuddling

also eventually they decide fuck it. let's make our own podcast and they combine the mbmbam and jjh format so they get questions and do goofs and stuff and then give actual legal advice but sometimes foggy will be like "ok. here's what you do. you need a cat? go into the pet shelter and take one. what are the gonna do beat you up with their cat toys? didn't think so." and matt starts crying because "Fo g g y WE ARE LAWYERS I KNOW YOURE GOOFING BUT THATS ILLEGAL FOGGY YOI CANT TELL OUR LISTENERS TO GO DO CRIME"

COFFE SHOP AU:

matt has a caffeine addiction and constantly comes to foggys coffee shop and orders one black coffee every morning and foggy eventually is like. hey buddy. do you EVER drink ANYTHING F U N EVER

matts like...no...i need coffee as strong and dark as my soul... and foggys like ok edglelord. wait up i'm about to change your life

foggy makes him a latte that's just a little bit caramelly but not too sweet and he's like here. drink this. no charge you deserve to live a little. also here's your boring edgy coffee you still have to pay me for that one. matt tries it and he's like hmm. not bad, but just not. Good and foggy is like wow fuck you. i'm going to find a good drink for you that isn't this hell water so every morning matt comes in and foggy gives him a black coffee and a free Fun and Cool coffee on the house

matt always is polite even when foggy can tell he DESPISES what foggy made but he's not going to stop untill he finds something god damn it matt

ok anyways they start meeting up more. matt starts taking his breaks in the coffee shop and and foggy hmmm...always seems to have a shift off when matt comes down..hmm. coincidence....hmmm....theo suffers for him by covering all his shifts when matt comes in and he's like well, actually fuck work

eventually foggy is like hey dude. do you wanna test my drinks before they go on the menu or help me perfect my recipes and shit you have a good toungie right (matt goes apeshit, because fuckin FOGGY YOU CABT SAY THAT) but he's like haha yeah. that'd be fun. haha

and then foggy finds out matt is INCREDIBLE at baking when he hands him a cookie and matt goes. hmm. too much flour add a fourth a cup less and a pinch more of saltand he's like??? bitch. i'd like to see you do better. and then matt does

so basically every day foggy closes up a little earlier and lets matt in and they dick around in the kitchen and bake and make coffee and foggys shop gets more and more popular because hey this already really good joint just started selling the most BALLER carrot cAke waht the fucké

anyways fall comes around and foggy is like GUES WHATT ITS TIME FOR WHITE GIRL DRINKS TRY THIS and he gives matt a pumpkin spice latte and matt is like. •.• THIS IS IT. THATS THE ONE

and foggy starts crying MATT PLEASE YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. PKEASE MATT, MATT I CANT ADD PSL YEARROUND BECAUSS YOURE A BASIC WHITE BITCH MATT

he bullies foggy into keeping the latte on the menu by threatening to stop helping him bake and foggy is SO OFFENDED, on behalf of good taste everywhere, matt, please,

anyways foggy continues rags on matt for only liking the shittiest fucking drink god damn it matthew fucking hell i make you 3 billion and THIS is the one you pick you disaster and matt is like haha shut up. stoopid

foggy doesn't, and you can guess where this be headed because i'm gay and soft,

matt kisses him and foggys like. ?????????? and matt goes AH FUCK. I COULDNT THINK OF A BETTER WAY TO GET YOU TO SHUT YOUR MOUTH SORRY. GUESS ILL GO and foggy throws cookie dough at him and drags him back over because he's not leaving fuck that. fuck you. and then they're happy and domestic the end

wait i lied matt opens a pro-bono firm in the back of foggy's shop and he gives all his clients freshly baked dessert and coffee and he's so good at being a lawyer and foggy becomes so good @ running his shop that customers keep coming and they're the Cute Gay Couple everyone knows abt and loves

ACCIDENTAL (?) KISSING:

SO. there are so many god damn moments foggy nearly fucking breaks and smooches matt out of sheer unbridled uwu soft feelings. SO MANY. when they win their first mock trial together and matt looks so FUCKING happy and he tells foggy how good they work as a team and foggy is about to lose his mind but he just goes. 'haha yeah' and gives matt a fist bump they finish taking the bar: matt's had to take it in a seperate room, stupid blind accommodations. he finishes first because OF COURSE HE DOES HE'S MATT MURDOCK and the second foggy finishes and leaves the room he sees matt there and he's filled with so many emotions he's about to go apeshit but he manages to contain them JUST enough not to make out with matt on the spot but gives him the tightest fucking hug and matt's like "ok buddy! love you too! please dont break my ribs!" and foggys too happy to notice matt forgot to flinch like he didnt know foggy was coming

Foggy gets the sign to matt and he can tell how fuckin stoked matt is and all he can think about is how grateful he is that the two of them get to work together and fucking do GOOD together and he's trying to express that in his awkward foggy way and he's GOING to kiss him right then and there!! hes about to do it look out world!!! and then matt says "you're NOT going to kiss me" and foggy realises haha YEAH THATD BE A BAD IDEA HUH and jokes it off and gives matt another hug - "i'll be careful not to break the ribs this time, buddy, seems like you've been falling over and hurting yourself enough recently,"-

foggy almost kisses matt out of anger when he finds out he's daredevil, when he won't shut up about how this city needs him and foggy would have done the same and blah, blah, bullshit because maybe then he'd FUCKING listen to him, or at least it'd shut him up, but the honest betrayal he feels - at matt for not telling him and at himself for STILL having a part of him that wants to kiss matt - is enough to get him just to leave : ^)

alright. the gang is watching fisk get carted away and see that SHIT, he's broken out, of course it wasnt going to be this easy. matt puts karen in a taxi goes to run off and foggy grabs him by his coat because MATT. you're not going to go fight fisk in your god damn pajamas right now it's too dangerous you're going to die you stupid son of a bitch idiot

and of course matt doesn't listen, he tells foggy to get back into the car with karen, go to his place, they'll be safe there, and grabs his own taxi

and foggy's left to sit there with karen in the cab as it drives Oh Too Fucking Slowly to matt's, and he's mumbling curses all the way and karen is trying to calm him down, he doesnt know why he's so worried, and all foggy can think about is what if matt dies because i didnt stop him and what if karen never gets to hear it from him and about 10 billion what-ifs that wont leave him the FUCK alone, and he sits next to the windowsill he knows matt comes in through and waits, not even wanting to look at the tv because what if he sees worse news Hrgh

matt beats up fisk and he barely even waits for the cops to get there, he gets one look and confirms 'yup, that's mahoney,' and fucking BOOKS it to his apartment, he climbs through the window and foggy's just sitting there waiting, karens in the next room watching the broadcast at a 3 minute delay on her phone, matt doesnt have a tv hes BLIND >:,\

and when matt comes in, bloody and beaten up and doing That Panting Thing He Does, but definitley alive, foggy just fucking. grabs him by the shoulders and kisses him because HE IS A L I V E !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and matt is suprised but he doesnt even try to protest because he's still riding the adrenaline from the fight

anyways. foggy pulls away for air and says 'you're so fucking stupid and i hate you' and then matt kisses hIM because uhh, thats FOGGY

and it's a minute later that matt senses another heartbeat and realizes karen's standing in the doorway, and she raises an eyebrow and obviously trying not to panic asks 'uh, foggy, pray tell, buddy, why you're making out with the devil in matt's bedroom' and foggy goes apeshit and tries to think of an excuse that doesn't invole 'uh thats matt' but it just kinda comes out as some stupid shit like 'i,,, uh,,,,, secret,...affair,,?i',m....gay." and matt just sighs and pulls off his helmet like "hey karen. it's me. hey karen whats poppin its me blind matt murdock" and needless to say they all have a Lot to talk abt

DRUNK KISSING:

so like. the first year they're together matt and foggy go out a lot, and it's mostly foggy dragging matt places and matt reluctantly coming because A) if someone doesnt watch foggy this idiot is going to puke and pass out in a ditch and B) he really like his company shh. no telling because that gay

anyways matt usually only drinks a little but foggy is mad lightweight right. he doesn't get shitfaced too often, usually only after exams or when he knows he has no classes the next day. when he does get shitfaced though he absolutley loses his shit and becomes even more touchy than usual, which is VERY TOUCHY because fuck you its my au and i get to choose the default affection levels

so basically. once foggy starts hugging matt and leaning on him and whining into his shirt about the 'hot girls' and 'killer nachos' at the party matt knows it's time to head home and foggy is too busy wrapping his arms around matt to notice he's being dragged out untill its too late

and y'know, thats fine, that's usual, all normal friend stuff, except what foggy also has a tendancy to do when he's drunk is kiss matt. sometimes its on his cheeks, or his forehead, or his shirt?? matt doesnt get that one??? and sometimes foggy even tries to go for the lips when hes particularly wilde. matt knows to expect this by the third time they go out, but it's still always a suprise when it happens, because sometimes it'll be out of nowhere when theyre walking back, or foggy'll stop matt and grab his cheeks and kiss him? sometimes they'll get all the way back to the dorm and matt will make foggy lie down and foggy will grab his shirt and pull him close enough to give him a quick peck before rolling over and promptly beggining to snore

which, y'know, is absolutley great for a maybe-gay-for-his-best-friend-catholic. what's also great is that foggy never seems to remember the fact he kissed matt the night before, and if he does, he definitley does NOT bring it up

so that's fine. whatever. thats life and matt will pretend like he doesnt care when foggy gives him a smooch because hes straight and loves girls and jesus christ, no homo, amen

but THEN. . then matt and foggy have been studying for exams for weEKS and theyre FINALLY DONE, FINALLY, and they are both going to get wasted out of their mINDS you better BELIEVE IT

so they do! and eventually they stumble back to their dorm together and sit together on the floor with a half-downed bottle of tequila and matt decides fuck it. he tells foggy he's never kissed a guy and foggy is like "haha cool. i have." matt's like "haha was it good" and foggys like "hell yeah man better than girls" so matts like hmm. "foggy i think i want to kiss a guy" and you can guess where this is goin

foggy is an oblivious little shit and just thinks matt's having a gay awakening so he's like "oh cool" and matt starts vibrating at inhuman frequency because FOGGY THIS IS THE ONE TIME I"M BASICALLY ASKING YOU TO DRUNK KISS ME AND YOU D O N T" so he just goes "haha yeah." and foggy's like "haha yeah"

and then matt chugs the bottle of tequila and says "foggy i think i wanna kiss you" and then he does but he's a good christian and also stupid so he just like. goes mwah on foggy's cheek

and foggy stares at him for like 15 seconds before basiclly challenging him to 'kiss him like a man, murdock, how are you supposed to get the gay experience if you dont go all in' and then they make out for like 20 minutes and life is good

(they both wake up w the worst fucking hangovers and theyre passed out on the floor and matt's like "foggy....im gay..." and foggys like "haha do you remember i kissed you" and matts like "????foggy i kissed YOU" and foggys like "oh yeah you did. you should have done that earlier" and matts says "????you were too busy trying to kiss me" and foggy goes "oh haha i was. cool" and then they fall back asleep...then they.....boyfriend.s)

FLOWER SHOP/TATTOO ARTIST AU:

so. matt is a florist and he runs a little shop across the street from an empty piece of real estate. a tiny place that used to be a deli but had just the WORST sandwiches, it was no wonder they closed down, god damn. anways. matt runs his shop with his best friends kirsten and karen who have IMPECCABLE taste in flowers and less impeccable taste in impulse control and not being huge lesbians.

one day this dude pulls up into matt's shop. his request is maybe the strangest matt's ever heard - 'can you get me two bouquets of like, the most metal flowers you have? like, ones that just look super cool but also, yknow, smell super good and sick and shit?'

matt laughs, and tells the guy that yeah, he can't help with the looks part, but he'll make sure to get him some that smell 'quote' sick and shit, come back tomorrow morning and they'll have some ideas-hey, what are these for anyways?

and the guy tells him, oh, hah, i'm moving in across the street, opening a little tattoo place? wanted some flowers to make it seem more, uhh....welcoming. matt laughs and says yeah, sure, cool, and tells him if he has anymore questions to call the store and ask for matt. the guy tells him if he ever wants a tattoo just cross the street and ask for foggy and unless the flowers matt gives him really suck he won't do him dirty and tattoo a dick on him

so anyways, they have a couple meetings, foggy decides on the flowers he wants and thanks matt and tells him hey, he should come check out the shop, it's opening tomorrow, and foggy wants to be able to point to the guy who did the sick florals. matt doesnt have anything better to do and he likes the sound of this guy's voice so hell, he might as well

when he goes over matt realizes oh shit. he really is out of his element here, but he asks the guy at the counter for 'foggy' and is led over to a corner where foggy's sitting and tattooing...himself? and matt realizes hey. i kind of have no idea what this dude looks like

so he sorta. sits there awkwardly untill he asks like. 'uh. i cant actually see what youre doing' and foggy goes OH IM SO FUCKING STUPID. i'm. man, saying this out loud seems kinda really stupid and cheesy i cant believe i have to do this...i'm....it's one of the flowers in the bouquet you made me....i just thought it looked really neat and smelled good and it....kinda reminds me of you and OK i KNOW that sounds really weird we met like 4 days ago BUT you seem super cool and i kinda hope we can maybe like. be friends or hang out or something,

and matt's like. o//////o yeah okay. uh. thats cool. thats cool uh im sure the flower is really pretty haha i love that type haha UH DO YOU WANT TO GET LUNCH OR SOMETHING haha maybe ill get a flower tattoo one day its pretty cool that you do tattoos UH IM FREE TOMOROW WAIT MAYBE THATS TOO SOON IM SORRY UH IM FREE WEDNESDAYS,

and foggy just kinda laughs and says 'no, tomorrow works,' and hey! they make plans and get coffee together and matt's like so. what tattoos do you have and foggy starts listing a bunch and eventually matt's like :( i wish i could see them they sound beautiful and foggy's like. here. heres my arm can i. yeah ok. and he grabs matts ar,m and he's like ok. feel the skin, its still a little raised can you feel that? ok, run your fingers over here and i can like. tell you wjats there

cue like an hour of sensual arm touching and tattoo explaining and the more matt learns about foggy and his tattoos and the more he hears the way he talks the more he's like A) oh fuck, i kinda really like this guy whos letting me feel up his arms and B) do i want a tattoo? i kind of want a tattoo

anyways. time jump they hang out a bit more, foggy always comes into matt's shop and talks to him in between customers, shows him the patterns he's designing, etc, and one day he comes in with a paper that has a design of some flowers on it and shows it to matt and as he's running his fingers across it he stops and says 'foggy? will you do this to me'

and foggys like 'bud are you sure? first tattoo, right, do you-are you really sure you want to do this, like, when, and wh" and matt's like 'shut up and put this ink in my skin before i chicken out' so matt sits through a PAINFUL ASS TATTOO and when it's done he's like FOGGY CAN I TOUCH IT CAN I TOUCH IT FOGGY CAN I TOUCH IT and foggy has to physically restrain matt from fondling his tattoo because its FRESH MATT

so foggys like 'ok, this is cause for celebration! babys first ink! we;re getting beers cmon' and they both go out to drink and matt's like 'hey foggy...can i touch more of your tattoos' and foggy's like 'uh, sure, i have another armfull,' and they do that for a while untill matt gets to the one foggy did the first time he visited foggy's tattoo parlor and foggy's like hah. remember this one? and matt's like yeah. i do. and they kinda just. sit there for a minute and then foggy's like 'ok. im gonna kiss you now punch me if you hate this, flowerboy' and matt absolutley does not punch him, thank you very much

and when they finish having their moment matt's like 'wow. i shoulda....i shoulda asked to feel you up again way sooner if i knew you were gonna do that' and foggy's like 'hey...i'd let you feel me up anytime' and they both kind of laugh and decide ok, worm, this works, and decide theyre gonna do that more often

they start to go out for drinks / dinner / lunch / any time they possibly can, and matt learns the curvature of foggys (suprisingly muscley?) arms down to a t, but he runs out of space to run his fingers over one night, and foggy kisses him and says 'hey. i've got more tattoos, y'know, but i don't think many people would appreciate it if i showed them off to you here' and matt is like 'wh-O H'

and foggy laughs and drags him to his apartment and pulls of his shirt and says 'ok, we're alone now. tell me what you feel' and matt sits on the bed in front of him and theres lots of sensual chest stroking going on and then yeah. matt gets fed up with all this touching foggy and not enough of foggy touching him and. they fuck oopsie

and after that they decide worm. that was good, wanna do that more often, holy shit, and decide to actually date date and thats like. thats that babey!

but years later they open a joint shop, an absolute mess of soft/punk aesthetics and everyone knows them because matt is still a soft florist who just has a fewwwww dozen flowers inked all over him and foggy is the punk god who flexes his sleeves all over town but flexes his soft boyfriend husband even more tHE END

#long post #mattfoggy #hcs

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sollea · 5 years

Text

Kingdom Hearts Mermaids AU Characters: Lea, Isa, Sora, Riku Relationship: LeaIsa, (non-mentioned) SoRiKai Word Count: 1583

Note: I’m gonna be doing more of this AU, keep an eye out. I have a lot planned. Lea + Isa picture here. Other mermaid information here. I’m reposting to try to get this into the search because for some reason the first try wasn’t.

“Hey, Isa, you remember that time I almost killed you?”

“You’re going to have to be more specific than that, Lea. You do that regularly.”

Lea rolled his eyes and swam up and above Isa, reaching down and dangling his arms in front of his best friend as they swam together. He silently recalled when he had to be more careful around Isa, glad for that time being over. “Nah, you know what I mean. I’ve never actually almost killed you.”

“Didn’t you just ask about the time you did?”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

“I need you to think for a second, just a second. Why would I forget one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever had?” Isa paused his swimming and let Lea circle back so he could still be talking to Isa while looking down from above.

“I was kinda hoping you’d still be unwilling to say it like that, but you’re right. I was just thinking about how glad I am that I can touch you now.”

Isa reached up to prick his finger against one of Lea’s spines, it barely felt like anything after years of getting used to it.“It’s been ages, aren’t you used to being able to touch me without being incredibly careful by now?”

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t make me happy.”

Isa laughed and looked up at Lea, reaching up and cupping his face to make sure they locked eyes. He couldn’t deny Lea being so outwardly sentimental was something he loved about him. “What was your point, Lea? Did you have one or did you just want to be a dork?”

Lea moved his hand over Isa’s and smiled. “I’m just thinking about it. I was really scared you weren’t going to be my friend anymore because of that and here we are, you’re in love with me and-”

“Don’t know who said that.”

“And I love you.”

“As you should.”

“You refused to let me know you were hurting that bad, you were really strong. You’re always so strong. I just love you.”

“Sappy. Is something going on?”

“No. I really was just thinking about how nice it is to not have that happen anymore. No poisoning my friend with hugs. Now I just bother my boyfriend by being clingy.”

“Sounds like you’ve had a couple changes, then. Why are we just talking about the almost killing me part of the story?”

“Because I’m trying to get to a point.”

“You said you didn’t have one.”

“Ugh! Just stop making fun of me for two seconds. You’re obnoxious.”

“Oh? Am I really the obnoxious one?”

“Yes! Why do I even like you?”

“I’m told you’re in love.”

“Wish I wasn’t in love with someone so mean to me.”

“I’m not mean to you. I could be. Do you want me to be mean to you?”

“No. Isa.”

“Then you know I’m being as nice as I can be?”

“Isa, can you just shut up and let me talk?”

“Hah, you think I’m able to keep you from talking? You?”

“Alright, shut up.”

“Really rude to keep saying that.” Moving up in the water to press his lips to Lea’s for a moment, Isa laughed. “You like hearing me talk. You enjoy my voice.”

“If you’d let me get to my point, Isa.” He left emphasis on the second syllable as he waited to be interrupted. When there was no interruption, he sighed. “I’ve been thinking about that because of how many things we still do come from not being able to touch you. When you kiss me outside of saying hey, it makes me remember watching Aeleus help you into the castle when I hugged you. Y’know, that should’ve had you paralyzed?”

“Yes, I’m aware. Are we really going over some backstory? Can’t we just continue this swim, head up to the beach, and relax there while it’s empty?”

“Am I not allowed to talk to my best friend anymore?”

“You are, but your boyfriend is getting impatient.”

“Then tell him to stop being an asshole.”

“He’s not about to listen, he’s just as stubborn as you are. Now, seriously, come on. There’s nothing we can’t talk about while relaxing somewhere even just a little safer than open ocean between islands.”

“Fine.”

“And I bet you don’t remember what your point was anyways.”

“I just told you what it was.”

“Oh? Was that it?”

“I hate you.”

Isa laughed and rolled his eyes, deciding to let that empty statement stand, returning to the other part of what he’d been saying. “We wouldn’t be between islands if you just remembered where we were going.”

“You could’ve told me I was swimming the wrong way.”

“You’re almost always ahead of me. It’s your fault for going so far so fast.”

“You could’ve noticed.”

“Excuse me for trusting the one who decided to take the lead.”

“You weren’t even trusting me, I know you better than that.”

“Fine, I was laughing at you for going the wrong way, but we didn’t run into any humans with nets, so it’s fine.”

“If that’s your metric, then, yeah, I guess. You sure you’re going to be fine doing your job when we get back?”

“If I’m too tired for the day, the world won’t fall apart if I don’t go in.”

“But you will.”

“Yes, I will. Of course I will. You will too.”

“Nah, I’m gonna skip out. Be irresponsible and sleep all day. Place won’t fall apart without me.”

Isa rolled his eyes and wrapped his hands around Lea’s wrists carefully, webbing between his fingers getting in the way of a full and comfortable grasp. He wasn’t going to say it aloud, but he really did want to just sit on the beach with Lea and look up at the moon until they were too dry to stay on land. “Lea, start moving, I want to get home eventually, but the moon is full tonight.”

“You’re the one who stopped?”

Isa didn’t respond to Lea and instead opted to swimming forward with a small tug of Lea’s arms before letting go to continue swimming. He could be much faster when he wanted to be, a tuna tail was much better suited to going quickly than anyone who had only met Isa alone would be led to believe. Lea had to fight to keep up with Isa.

“Hey, Isa, slow down.”

“You can keep up, I believe in you.”

“Why am I dating you?”

“Why am I dating someone so slow?”

“Ugh! Fine. I don’t want to race, though, so slow down a little bit?”

Isa fell back, swimming at Lea’s pace and bumping their hips together. Lea still had the tendency to be careful around other people, despite Isa being all but completely immune to his sting because of the constant exposure. Isa had no such care. Lea responded to the bump by wrapping his tail around Isa’s, taking a position most used for comfortable relaxing while not moving.

“You really don’t want to let me see the moon above the water tonight, do you?”

“We’re still moving. You know how to pull me around, I know you do.”

“You’re lucky your tail isn’t as short as your dad’s is.”

“And you’re not. Pull me along.”

“Don’t be lazy.”

“Too late. I’m comfortable. And I know you can do this for a significantly longer time.”

Isa just sighed, shaking his head at Lea’s dorky actions. He loved Lea a great deal, but sometimes it was difficult… this was not one of those times, Isa found, as he glanced back to look at Lea’s smirk.

They didn’t have that far to go, so the rest of their swim was in silence. They pulled themselves onto the deserted beach carefully and hacked the water up out of their lungs.

As soon as they were comfortably on the beach and breathing air, Lea flopped backwards into the sand and groaned. “I will never be used to that.”

“What?”

“Having to cough up that much water.”

“You’ll never get used to anything different than your first two years alive, will you?”

“Oh, shut up. You wanted to lay here and talk and look at the moon, so lay down with me.”

Isa rolled his eyes and laid down next to Lea, holding his arm out so he could be leaned against if Lea decided he wanted to. And of course Lea wanted to.

Just as Lea got comfortable, there was a sound of footsteps that was just too close for comfort. Lea moved away and began to slide back into the water and Isa followed behind him.

They got into the water just as a pair of human children locked eyes with them.

“Wait, no, don’t go!” One of the children called out to the mermaids, reaching his hand out only to have the other grab him and hold him back.

“Sora, leave them alone. Kairi didn’t want to be seen either.”

“Yeah, but… We’re friendly.”

The mermaids stared at the gently arguing children in confusion, slowly backing up in the water so they could have a good distance between them. Where had they picked up this human language?

Suddenly, Lea realized the humans had said a name.

“...Did you say Kairi?” Lea was too curious to continue the act of self preservation Isa was still anxious to do, but not without Lea. He knew that and he could see Isa ready to bolt, but he needed to know.

#kingdom hearts #lea #isa #leaisa #akusai #kh #sora #riku #at the end #they'll be there more later #kh mermaids au

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iamsonyeondone · 5 years

Text

prince!au // zhong chenle

☆+｡･ﾟfluffy!! and an itty bit angsty

☆+｡･ﾟ 1.8k words

prince chenle was no doubt born to be someone of a high caliber

even if he didnt have that royal blood in him, everyone’s amazed by his abilities

the skills he has to play the piano at such a young age aS well as sing with the most angelic voice

and that he was meant to charm anyone and everyone who sees him, perform or just as he is

he is also such a hardworking student, as quoted by his tutors

and that anyone who has personally met him agreed that he’s really sweet and altogether a well-rounded person

not to mention how he makes the atmosphere much more calming and fun during balls

especially when he’s joined in by his other 6 best friends

everyone is torn between him and his brother when it comes to the better heir to the throne

but chenle doesnt make this topic of his utmost importance because he’s more than sure that his older brother was going to take over

and he’s completely fine with it, if not, more than proud to have the kingdom be taken by his sibling that he cares for

which also means that he has the choice of doing what he loves most

which was to perform and dazzle the crowd

he’s always performed for the balls held at the palace

whether it was a symphonic piece on the piano, a heart-warming tune with his voice, or both!!

and he definitely loves the attention when everyone cheers for him at the top of their lungs

until you came along

you were the child of a duchess and you were very popular for being a violin prodigy

from little, you’ve always performed for balls too and from there, you were given the opportunity to learn it on an advanced level when you were scouted

and when you came to one of the certain royal ball wink wink chenle was a little dumbfounded when he found out that there was someone who was just as good as him at performing

but when he saw you perform, putting all your emotion into the violin while your movements remain precise

he cant help but be mesmerised

and you on the other hand, was glad that there was someone you could have a middle ground with

“good evening your majesty, your performance was amazing today,” you greeted him while the adults paired up on the dance floor

“you did pretty well yourself. i’m sorry but i’ve never seen you before,” he turned to look at you, an adorable smile on his face

“my family and i move around quite alot, probably why you’ve never seen me although i was born here,” you returned a smile back, taking a bite of one of the snacks from the table

“i see, so i bet you’ve seen some of my friends,”

“i’ve seen a lot of people of course, you’ve got to be more specific than that, your majesty,” you chuckled

and chenle takes a moment to get a better look at you

“just call me chenle, its weird when a friend of mine calls me that,”

and from then onwards, the both of you laughed the night away

playing hide and seek on the palace grounds and sneaking some food from the kitchen as well as him showing you wround his favourite hiding places from the stuffy meetings

its safe to say that the both of you became very close friends at the end of the night

and chenle was quite upset when you hear your mother looking for you

“i have to go but i hope we get to meet again some time,” you smile, still giggling from the aftermath of causing quite a mess in the kitchen

“i do hope to see you when we hold another ball in about a month. it’ll be boring if you dont come so you better promise me that,”

chenle lifts up his pinky, wiggling it towards you with a wide grin

with your smile mirroring his, you intertwined your pinkies with his and waved goodbye

during that long painful month, chenle was really distracted by the thoughts of you

the way you laughed at his lame jokes or just by his own dolphin-like laugh, the little stories you tell him from your mansion while the look of disgust sticks onto your face

and maybe it was also the way you smiled at him with twinkles in your eyes

and the sound of your laugh which sounded far more angelic than the opera singers who come by to perform

chenle is scared to admit that he is in fact in love

while you were gladly accepting the strong feelings enveloping your heart

being reminded of his high-pitched laugh always gets you giggling during dinner

which raises eyebrows from your parents

and the way you would naturally squeal when you remember him smiling back at you with his pinky finger raised, makes your butler tease you about it every single day

and when the day comes that you attend the ball at the palace, youre spoiled for choice when your maids show you your choices

“which one looks better on me,Ms Lim?” you tilt your head thinking that it may give you a clearer decision

“the blue one looks amazing on you milady although all of them accentuates your beauty,” she smiled, while you groan in frustration when nothing comes to mind

“could you bring Mr Park in? he’s painfully straight-forwards sometimes but i think it’s actually beneficial in this case,” you sigh, flopping onto your bed while she fetched your butler

when you hear the familiar ‘yes milady?’ you shoot up from your spot and pouted

“Mr Park, i dont know which dress to choose for Chenl- the royal Zhong family ball,”

and he stands there for a moment, ready to spit out a teasing remark before picking a more simpler outfit from the collection of choices

“contrary to popular belief, milady does in fact look better in something more simple. And im confident that prince chenle will agree,” he smile before bowing and taking his leave

and your face explodes in the colour red at his statement

you slipped into the outfit and twirled in front of your full-length mirror

until your mother knocked onto your door

“we need to talk,”

chenle waited anxiously in the corner of the ballroom, at the exact same spot the both of you had met

and while the other kings and queens from distant kingdoms as well as duch and duchesses greet him, he only had his eyes on finding you

so when you finally walked through the entrance with your family, his heart skipped a beat

and chenle had this big unstoppable grin on his face

that is until your eyes meet and the only thing he is met with is a sad smile

“why the long face?” he greeted you, still mustering a small smile as you curtsied

“its,,, nothing. but dont you think you hear the king and queen calling you over?” you chuckled, darting your gaze to his parents who had been calling him over by the piano

an indication that he started charming the crowds as usual

but with a bigger plan in mind

“did you bring your violin?” he asked excitedly, taking hold of your hand and squeezing it tightly

“of course, but why?” you raise a brow, suspicious of the next action of this mischievous boy

“get it quick, its going to be our first duet together,” he laughed, dragging you towards the growing crowd around the piano

once chenle adjusted himself on his seat and nodded as the cue, he began playing each note with care as you soon followed

the piano churned out a harmonious tune while your violin had a soft sadness undertone to it

and chenle finally had a hunch, even without having you to tell him explicitly

this was your first duet with him and it may be the last

once chenle ended the song, the both of you stood together to bow in front of the audience with your hand in his

and even though the crowd had already dispersed to continue waltzing around the room, chenle didnt let your hand go

“theres one more place i havent shown you yet,” he smiled cheekily as he sneaked his way around the palace guards

even with the numerous questions you had been showering him with, chenle simply shrugged and continued with a “you’ll see”

and when he pushes the heavy maroon curtain away to reveal the small secluded garden, you gasp in admiration

the garden was small yet bursting with life - roses blooming beautifully in the moonlight while the soft splashing of the water fountain came as a comforting lullaby

“i come here whenever i want to fully unwind,” he sighed, taking a seat on a bench that had been sheltered by a short tree yet its branches reached further than most

“or did you mean when you’re being called to study?” you teased, taking a seat next to him, making him scrunch his nose in annoyance

and the both of you sit in silence for awhile, watching the stars twinkle in the navy blue sky

until a thought comes to you

because chenle, the boy with the loudest and highest-pitched laugh, was quiet

and you feel yourself growing more conscious of the situation

“so why did you bring me here? there must be a reason why since my ears havent bled yet,”

and when you look at him, he’s not looking back and that once cheerful smile is nowhere to be seen

and maybe your eyes are just playing with you because theres this hint of pink on his cheeks

but maybe you’re just seeing things

“you mentioned that you move around a lot so how long will you be overseas this time?”

and when he finally stares back into your eyes, sadness evident yet still attempting to smile, your heart shatters into a million pieces

youre silent for a moment, unsure of how to tell him about the news while you try your best to word it in your head

“i’m,,, i might not be coming back- but! ,,,,but its not final,” and chenle smiled, a little chuckle leaving his lips

“then until our next meeting, i’ll look at the sky and think of you. it’s not that hard trying to find some similarities between you and the moon yknow - a little grey-”

and the sad mood lightens up as you nudged him hard, knocking him over as his clumsiness only further pushed him off the bench

the night ended with laughter and giggles as always

and whenever you look at the night sky in your temporary home, you stifle a giggle when you’re reminded of the dolphin laugh you’ve come to love

a/n: ew this is so sappy but i hope you guys love sappy ksjhalfals tbh that last line is so full of crack and if you dont laugh at it, youre not human

#kpop #imagine #writing #scenario #fanfic #fanfiction #bulletpoint scenario #nct #nct 2018 #nct dream #chenle #zhong chenle #x reader #reader insert

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tumblunni · 6 years

Text

What do you guys think about the names Dustin and Darcy for my protagonists in Let's Go?

Cos i really wanted to play the co op mode thing by myself, just so i can pretend this role in the plot is filled by two siblings and have a bit of fun roleplaying that. But i dunno yet how the co-op works and whether you'd be able to customize the avatar of the second player or if its just the default trainer? Or can you only play co-op if you have two separate games? Im planning to buy the other version anyway once i get more money, so it could be fun to play my first version with sibling one and then the second playthru is sibling two's turn to shine!

Oh and the whole reason i wanted to do this is cos i wanna try out the customization features to make some ocs now that there's no competitive online stuff unless you pay a subscription fee (LOL NO THANKS). Like..i always felt like i HAD to make my character me in xy/sumo/usum, otherwise its like lying online? But of course i cant actually make me because theres no nonbinary option or even remotely ambiguous outfits for either gender. And you cant have wild hair colours while i dye my hair 24/7 irl lol. Its silly cos like 95% of the gym leaders and other characters ingame have anime hair colours yet the player has to be normal? So yeah i cpuldnt really enjoy making this innacurate defanged version of myself yet i didnt feel like i was allowed to just make up a new character either. Closest i could do was give myself white hair like my old trainersona when i was 12, lol. I mean i guess thats my 'real hair colour' underneath the dye right now, if you think about it that way?

OH GOD PIKACHU CAN HAVE A LITTLE TUXEDO AND BOWLER HAT HOLY FUCK IM SORRY TO INTERRUPT THIS BUT I WAS WATCHING THE IGN REVIEW AND THEY SHOWED PIKA BOWLER HAT PLEASE GO GOOGLE THAT VIDEO JUST FOR THAT 1 SECOND OF NEW FOOTAGE OF MY BEAUTIFUL CLASSY BOYE

okay where was i

Yeah! I think sibling trainers could be a good and unique way to handle a rival! Like having them be your sibling already establishes that rivalry. But it can be a soft and nice rivalry! I wanna go with that fun version rather than the full on angry exaggerated sibling rivalries you often see in kids media. Like i know that some people legit dont get on with their siblings and some people can even have a very gary esque full on rivalry thats sorta 'love to hate' or like..tsundere pretending you hate them. But personally i never had experience with that, i can never relate to those 'tfw u hate ur sibling and theyre always an asshole but lolll u love them anyway' posts. I only got to live with my little sister for a little while due to the catastrophe of abusive parenthood that was my childhood, and i lost contact with her forever when she was very young so i doubt she'd even remember me. *sigh* But like i don't think i only love her so much because i miss her! People say newborns and toddlers are the most bratty so like you'd think if i was gonna ever find her 'annoying' i would have done it back then. I was always just mega proud of her and whenever she'd be 'bratty' i'd be cheering her on and trying to protect her from mom. And when she'd try and pull pranks on me or practise play-fighting or whatever i was just like 'lol thats legit funny' and taking play-falls so she felt better about herself. Like we didnt have much power in that household so i felt like encouraging her pretending to be a wrestler would help her feel like she had some sort of control in some part of her life i guess? And just i wished i was allowed to roughhouse and run around and be all 'unladylike' and just enjoy BEING A KID when i was a kid, yknow? I always had legit fun being with her and legit enjoyed it and was legit proud and legit never annoyed. I just dont understand 'yeah she's annoying but i love her anyway'. I was only ever her rival as a play-rival to help encourage her to like.. Enjoy the things she enjoyed. Feel like someone else cared. I only ever acted like 'ha ha baby stuff yeah sure i hate hanging out with my sister" cos i thought i was SUPPOSED TO. I always felt so guilty doing it and so dissappointed cos id rather hang out with her than be a boring stereotypical teen tbh. I dunno, maybe this isnt typical for siblings and its just a sign of how badly we were raised? I was just real fuckin lonely and absolutely loved having a family member who loved me for the first time since my grandma died. Same reason i always used to act all 'i am too cool i totally am not soft for my lil sister' around my lil sister's dad. I really wanted him to love me too! I used to say swear words at him cos i thougjt he would thibk i was Cool And Adult?? I have soooo many cringe moments from that phase of my childhood. Man it hurts to think that i never actually did get to become that positive influence that protected my sister from my mum and let her know she was loved. Cos i was sent to live with my dad when she was like 5ish? And never saw her again and now im too scared to try and reach out to her again because 1: she probably doesnt even remember me, 2: theres a chance she believes my mum saying i was some horrible asshole who abandoned the family, 3: even bigger chance that contacting her could mean my mum finding me again and big fuckin risk of further abuse. Plus the awkwardness of introducing my trans self when she'd remember me as her sister and all. Sigh! All i can do is hope that her cool dad eventually got custody of her, and that he didnt turn out to be a secret bastard like when i met my own dad. He seemed good, but then again i was just a lil kid and my dad seemed good at first. Sighhhhhh...

SO UMM YEAH WOW I MADE MYSELF SAD

Anyway the point is that whenever i write siblings i'd rather write 100% unapologetic super loving love cos its wish fullfillment for me. This is also why in/cest shipping is a massive beserk button for me, good wholesome family relationships are REAL FUCKIN IMPORTANT and how DARE you corrupt that shit! Some people would fuckin KILL to have that wholesome family!!

Anyway lol thats why i'd like a Wholesome Rivalry for these sibling ocs! Like they challenge each other to contests along the way just for fun, and they react all 'wow my sis is the BEST' when you beat them, so hard feelings at all. And you dont JUST do rival stuff but also sometimes just hang out and have fun cos you missed each other. And if anyone threatens your sibling then THAT is the only time you see the Serious Sibling Power! Rival moments: ha ha lol bet ya cant beat me ooo im a scary villain LOL I CANT KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE HAHA! Giovanni punches your brother: *stony cold death glare from hell as tricksy prank sis turns into an unstoppable vengeance engine* Oh, but also the only other time they'd be serious is in their final battle together! Like most of the 'rivalry' is just competing to make the adventure fun and to help each other get stronger. But if sis/bro ever actually legit said they really want to fight to find out who's the best, and its like..important to help their self confidence, then i think bro/sis would respect that and go all out. Taking a fall and letting them win would be the most disrespectful thing of all! Oh, but i do think there would be one kind of battle like that during the story? Like in one of the more low stakes faux-rival fights the sibling actually does try and let you win, and the challenge is to try and lose against all odds. High stakes super failure battle!!! Imagine the evil team in the background like 'wtf' as these two run the most aggressively slow race of all time! XD

Oh and i kinda thought about different personalities for the two of them based on who you pick? Like i did like that aspect about brendan/may in RSE compared to other 'unpicked option becomes rival' characters in later games that didnt even have one personality let alone two. It just sucks that the personalities they decided to give them were 'female rival is super self concious and thinks youre better than her because youre a boy' and 'male rival is super ego and thinks he's better than you because he's a boy'. Boooo!

So instead of that the personalities i was thinking for these two would be less sexist lol. Male sibling Dustin is basically Wally so far? I need to develop him a bit more to make him a bit distinct, i mean its not like every single shy dude is identical. I'm thinking maybe mix him with all the wasted potential in Brendan? Like in the game they slightly hint at him having the ONE non stereotypical trait of liking cute teddy bears, and that made me think about how much better his whole plot would have been if it actually criticized his sexism and said that he only behaves that way cos he's overcompensating for being bullied for being 'feminine', yknow? And then in the manga they actually DO write him as super feminine, and even as a contest star who loves fashion and dressing up his pokemon! But then GAHHH they present it as some sort of fuckin 'character flaw', like he's shown to be selfish and superficial because of it. And the backstory is that him and the female protagonist used to be 'normal' until a traumatic event. Brendan was a Natural Fighting Prodigy until he saved his female friend from a wild pokemon and was so traumatized that he never wanted to fight again, while she wanted to learn to fight so she'd never need to be protected again. But this is not only presented as Wrong Ways To Be Gender but also like.. Fighting their natural instinct which still comes through?? Like male protag hasnt fought in YEARS yet whenever he's forced to fight he's just magically better at it than female protag who's been practising all these years to become his equal. Ha ha silly girl you can never achieve that! All you get is this patronizing 'well if you just tryyyyy girly things im sure you'll like it' plot and then you get rescued by him in the end because OF COURSE you do. Sigh! I cant believe they made me hate that pairing even more than the games did! So yeah i dont really wanna write Dustin as a jerkass who's secretly got synpathetic motives of internalized homophobia/sexism, cos i feel thats a plot very specific to my perceptuons of Brendan and id basically just have to make Dustin a clone of him and he wouldnt be able to shine on his own merits. Instead i'm just thinking of writing him as a 100% sensitive soul, and he still faces predjudice for not being that bigoted idea of an 'ideal man' but really the fact he doesnt bow down to their demands proves that he's the bravest person here.

And then I'm thinking maybe the female sibling Darcy is the older one and is a bit "gary ish"? Like eitjer way you still have a friendly and loving siblingness, but she's a bit more of a sass who is tsundere about admitting she loves her bro. But i dont think she's the cold or grumpy sort of tsundere, more like a trickstery tomboy? Bombastic loki jock sis! She can only be a bit abrasive with her bro cos she wants to teach him to be tough even when she's not there to protect him. But sometimes she can mess it up and make him feel like he has to change his personality in order to be tough, rather than letting him know she supports him in being "unmasculine" and just wants to help him find the confidence to stand up to people who bully him for it. Like she feels like she is 'weaker' than him in the sense that she worries too much about what people will think if she expresses her real emotions, yknow? Like theyre both suffering from toxic masculinity! He's suffering from the standard form where men who are too 'soft' are beaten down into that mould. Ans she's suffering from the problem where 'masculine' girls feel like they have to be '100% masculine' in order to be allowed to be themselves at all. Like back when i was a kid and before i came out as trans i always used to try and pretend to like sports ans like..cliche macho shit where you Cant Admit You Care About Your Friends and also i wasnt allowed to like ANY feminine things at all. I had to either follow the stereotype of femininity entirely or follow the opposite stereotype, i wasnt allowed to just reject stereotypes and like what i actually like. So yeah me realizing i wasnt really a girl has led to me embracing more 'girly' things than back when i thought i was one! So i think Darcy would have a similar arc but like..the cis equivelant? Just finds people who arent such judgmental pricks and stops having to conform to either of those stereotypes in order to keep fake friends who dont really give a shit about her. She can have a plot about both forced feminine and masculine stereotypes being equally limiting, rather than that shitty 'being masculine is a prison uwu every woman will be happier embracing her love of makeup' shit. That dominant narrative just made me feel like i was somehow wrong about myself whenever i didnt like 100% Of Sports All The Time, i must be somehow girly if i liked even ONE girly thing yet i needed hundreds of proofs if i wanted to be masculine. And like i wasnt just allowed to be neither! I wasnt allowed to like parts of both! I wasnt allowed to BE GODDAMN TRANS!!! So yeah i dunno if i'd go whole hog and make this character a trans man or a nonbinary person tho? I think she's just actually a cis girl who happens to be sporty and brash and likes a lot of 'masculine' fashion and hobbies. And she's just been made to feel self concious about it, as if she cant possibly REALLY be that unless she likes Every Single Boy Thing and wins at Every Single Challenge. Does anyone else remember that shit too? The girls have to win Every sports game against the boys in order to be 'one of the boys' but if you lose even one of them it somehow proves that you're inferior. Even though the boys lost 50 billion games to you and that doesnt prove theyre inferior! Like man she has sooooo many 'gary rivals' in her school life, thats why she loves going on this adventure with a kind brother rival who actually respects her! So her resolution would just be her staying the same but being more confident about it and saying fuk u to those fake friends. Same as her brother's plot, just they both face different specifics to the way this sexism affects them, yknow?

Oh but yeah when i did finally learn about LGBT stuff and realize i was trans it was Big Amazing cos even in the rare stories about Its Okay To Be Yourself it still left me feeling weirdly empty when the girl decides that yes she does wanna be a girl in the end. So i get that these plots might come off as queerbaiting if i write them badly? I need to make sure to make it clear that these characters 100% want to be seen as this gender and its just other people being fuckfaces and trying to define what their gender has to mean. I think maybe i'll try and mitigate this potential misunderstanding by adding different sorts of lgbt content. And, well, also cos i just want lgbt content in all of my stories because i am lgbt, of course! I'm 100% sure that Darcy is gay, and i think also maybe possibly Dustin is trans? Like, his plot is about being mocked for being a 'feminine' boy, but its also even more personal for him because he's a trans boy and he feels like he needs to change his personality in order to pass/he isnt really real because his personality doesnt fit the stereotypical image of a man. Like if you'd looked at the two of them back when they were identical twins, you probably would have expected Darcy to end up being trans if you were the sort of person who believes those basic ass stereotypes about 'boys who play with barbies and girls who play with trucks'. Or i mean maybe its the other way around and Darcy is a trans girl who still has a 'masculine' personality according to stereotypes? Or even both of them are trans and both face being told that they arent real because they dont fit the perfect stereotype of a trans person according to cis perceptions? Or maybe i'm overcomplicating things with all of this and it'd just muddy the message i guess. I might just keep it to them both being cis but also both of them like girls. And i can always apply my trans and other LGBT headcanons to other characters along their adventure.

Anyway LOL im rambling too much!

#lets go bunni #bunni plays lets go

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ankhisms · 3 years

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hey, it's me again. sorry for taking so long, I had a busy day. so uh, my high school friends are all very privileged people who can act really ignorant and insensitive at times, and as much as I try to tell them that's not ok, yes, even if you're calling him gay just bc he's gonna be late for our group call and that's just a 'harmless' joke, they barely ever listen to what I have to say (an lgbt "woman" with way less money than them)

i have been somewhat distant from them for a while now and honestly were they anyone else I would have just cut them out of my life. but I care about them and I've known them for such a long time, I want to give them a (last) chance to make an effort to learn and do better. so I wrote this letter/poem that's actually pretty long, and in the end I ask them I want them to think about the things they say, think about why im wasting so much time and energy into this, why am I even doing this in the first place, if they're willing to do that, if they find me worth keeping me in their lives, then they should come talk to me. if not, then I guess that's it. I mean everything I say in that letter, but I'm so scared they'll think I'm being manipulative and blackmailing them with my friendship, when that's really not it. I just want them to rethink their prejudices and be more empathetic and compassionate to other people. I'm also so scared they'll just read all of that and be like "yeah ok bye lol". I'm working the courage to actually send them the letter but it's so hard, I might do it eventually but I'll still be scared shitless

anyway, this is already too long. thanks for listening, Rey. I really appreciate it

hey im sorry im replying to this late i wasnt around for a while.. im really sorry that youre in this situation to begin with, and i promise you that you absolutely arent being manipulative by asking them to actually think about their actions and their privledge. its not manipulative of you to say "hey what youre doing is harmful and i really think you need to be changing how you act and think about how your actions have consequences and harm other people".

i also want to stress to you as someone whos been out of highschool for a few years- its ok to just say fuck it and walk away when people youre friends with are being shitty like this. i know it sucks and you want to give them another chance or give them the benefit of the doubt but sometimes it really isnt worth it especially when theyre wealthy and are saying stuff like what youre describing.

i wont get into my own life too much but i contact with basically everyone i knew in high school, i wouldnt call them my friend group because they only really just kind of tolerated me and kept me around for laughs but i dont talk to any of them anymore because they were all such shitty people and i just finally said yknow what enough! fuck it!

and you know what? ive met so many wonderful people since that time who dont say shitty things and who will actually listen to me if i tell them that something theyre saying or doing is wrong, and i promise you that you absolutely can move forward and find better people to surround yourself with.

youre not doing anything manipulative or blackmailing them or anything like that, youre trying to tell them that theyre being harmful and thats the right thing to do, but remember in the end sometimes we cant change peoples minds for them and we just have to walk away. its hard but sometimes its all we can do. i believe in you i hope youll be ok!!

#asks answered

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gweyson · 6 years

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kendall 3, 15, 35, piper 2, 11, D, snarg (i'm sorry i always call him that i love him) 1, 7, 17, theo 13, 36, A, khuyen 5, 14, F, leticia 8, 12, 31, cooper 4, 9, 39, lumi 6, 26, E !

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

it used to be reading, it’s been a lot more thinking now (when she does sleep that is)

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

she tries to be gentle but curt. she doesnt wanna hurt anyone but she figures that for tough news it’s better to rip the bandaid off than to dance around the subject

35. How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

she is supportive usually she just doesnt really come across as it. shes tired !!!!

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

not really ? but thats mainly because they havent exactly pinned down the whole “having human emotions” thing yet

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

they pretend they know what’s happening. nobody ever buys it

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

ive made minor changes (like i made their hair some kind of smoke/steam & one of their feets glows & leaves glowy marks) but for the most part they havent changed much? theyve always just been. space

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

not at all. he’s constantly fidgeting he cant stay still for the life of him

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

the smell of sweet stuff baking & sunsets. it’s kind of a bittersweet thing for him

17. Are they easily embarrassed?

yes.... he is blushing. a lot of the time fdjkghdgjkfd...... a lot of the time he’ll try to divert attention elsewhere though (usually by trying to embarrass someone else) he’s gotten pretty good at it

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

he looks best in pastels & he definitely knows it !! he looks especially good in wamrer shades like pink or orange

36. Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

he wasnt rlly looking for anything when he met sergio ? but things just kinda worked out yknow. if he wants a relationship he’ll generally work for it but he got lucky this time -w-

A) Why are you excited about this character?

gay....... hes just good&nice. also he’s the voice ofr eason because good lord does this group need one of those

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

uh... it’s not super easy to earn their trust in the first place tbh

14. What animal do they fear most?

theyre not great with bugs :[

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

something between love and frustration fdhkgfdkjfdkg i love them but theyre such an edgelord. also theyre too #relatable

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

“stop eating all our bread”

12. How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

she’ll use like. a fork or something to reach. also she’ll make a really big deal and be really dramatic about it. please stop. calm down. just scratch it ih my god,

31. Who are they the most glad to have met?

probably khuyen or kendall ?? maybe lumi

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

pretty easy, but it’s easy to lose it again. he goes back and forth a lot

9. Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

for as edgy as he is you’d think he would swear a lot more than he actually does tbh

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

not only will he not ignore them, he will go out of his way to point them out and make fun of people for their flaws

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

immovable !! if she gets in trouble she cries

26. What is their preferred mode of transportation?

walking i guess... cars/automobiles arent really a thing in this universe

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

i feel like we’d like each other well enough but we’d both be too awkward to ever have any proper conversations dfjkghfdkj

#fack sorry this took so long...i amt he distracted man these are my distracted hads #ask #ocs #paperclippery

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101scenes · 7 years

Text

Wanna One Lai Guan Lin - The 24 Hour Challenge

featuring: lai guan lin

genre: fluff

word count: 1,964 words

summary: a 24-hour experience with a newly assigned class, and a so-called crush

suggested: nah lmao

you were a junior in your high school

so as an annual tradition, each junior class has to conduct something special for their class to bond before the start of the school year

because in sophomore year you all were in different classes

so you kind off had to get to know each other

your newly elected class representative, lee daehwi, suggested a 24 hour challenge at a chalet

and it was somehow approved by the school

it was supposedly “innovative” and a “fresh idea”

anyways

everyone in your class managed to chip in a little fee to book the chalet for a full day

luckily in your new class you knew a few people from your sophomore class

you thought about skipping cause you thought it would be weird lmao

but your friend dragged you along because she loves exploring new things

so ofc you went

class spirit!

time skip

on the day of the 24 hour challenge

everyone gathered at the booked chalet at about 3pm

& our amazing class rep split the class up into small groups of 4 to their rooms to unpack

boys & girls rooms duh

at about 4pm everyone was gathered back at the common room

and he began explaining the ground rules

like no alcohol, no illegal substances etc

and no electronics

so he had to confiscate everyone’s phone lmao

he also explained the itinerary of the full 24 hours

and he said everyone could hang around until 6pm, where people had to gather at the bbq pit for dinner

after dispersing, you were left defenseless without your precious phone

so you went to the kitchen

isnt the kitchen everyone’s safe haven lmao

and started socializing with your new classmates

you made a few friends surprisingly

and it was fun overall

stirring your cup of coffee, you looked over at the common room decked with kinect & wii games

you spot this really enthusiastic kid that dragged his friend to switch on just dance to play

seeing the slightly taller guy dance made you smile a little

he seemed like a really reserved guy, but he looked like he was having lots of fun with his friend

it was really cute

so you never thought you would do this

but you joined them

since just dance could play up to 4 people

you decided why not

you never tried just dance

and you played a game with them

yes, without asking their names

after this extremely long and strenuous song

you got second place

with the taller guy in last

you look over to expect a defeated look

but he was still smiling like how he did 10 minutes ago

he was panting yeah

trying to regain his breath on the couch

he still looked really smol

even tho he was tall

while you let your other classmates play

you learnt the guy who got 1st place was seonho

he was generally just a really happy guy

you kindoff guessed it when he entered the class on the first day and gave everyone a sweet and a card with a happy face sticker on it

& the other guy

who was still dancing away

was named guanlin

after chatting a bit with seonho you decided to help out at the bbq pit

and you saw daehwi & your friend chatting away

they were exchanging jokes and giggles

and you just pressed your hand against the glass pane and smiled

you sHIPPED THEM sO hard

bc class rep & vice class reps are shippable

then you heard someone next to you say,

“i ship them too, they’re cute,”

you faced him, to see guanlin pressing his arm against the glass pane as well

“oh, hello, i’m y/n,” you turned to him and greeted

and he did the same

as you threw him a towel from the drawer to wipe his sweat, you asked,

“should we disrupt their moment?”

guanlin shook his head

“nah, it’s their moment,” he said, smiling as he walked away

you watched him as he walked away

and that kindoff concluded your first interaction with him

the guy with the smile that needed to be protected

time sKIP

after some good dinner

(daehwi made sure eVEryone was full)

(class rep more like mother)

he said it was time for gamES!!

you could hear seonho frm the other side of the room squeal

& it was hide and seek

you swore you haven’t played hide and seek ever since you were 8

but you were convinced that you could find a great hiding spot

you kindoff saw a spot earlier that no one wld ever suspect (!!)

so once the seeker began counting down, you loitered a bit first

cause you wanted to see everyone scatter

maybe you could find a better spot

but you ultimately went to your spot

which was this camouflaged door under the stairs that led to a small storage area

you weren’t afraid of small spaces

so why not

you opened the door to see

well

a tall fella

sat in the corner

before you could apologize and leave, the seeker had already announced he would begin

and guanlin grabbed your wrist, pulled you in and shut the door

uhh it was kindoff a small space

so it was just you and guanlin

in the dark

uncomfortably close

you were both sitting in silence

you wanted to say something

but the seeker could hear you guys talking if you did

so you kept quiet

you could still see some of guanlin’s face due to the fading light falling into through the thin walls

he had literally no flaws

how can a guy have flawless skin?!?

without thinking you blurted out,

“sO-”

before you could even continue tho

he grabbed your wrist again

his hand shocked you lmao

so you fell forward a bit & he caught you

& you could smell his scent

you felt like you did injustice

and you backed up a bit and whispered sorry

thanks to the light

you couldnt see the red fading on guanlin’s cheeks

oh & god damn your ears were all red too

ugh just kiss already

anyways

the seeker was left with you two

and could not find you two

so you two crawled out of the little storage room

everyone didn’t expect the two of you to be together

in an enclosed space

so there were a bit of murmurs

daehwi exCLAIMED,

“yOU hAVe vIOLATED THe RUleS of INdeCen-”

“NO” you blurted

daehwi started laughing

and everyone did too

except you and guanlin

you literally thought they were interrogating you

but it was a joke

haha joking

you fake-laughed

you turned around to see him

just looking away

occasionally rubbing his cheeks

after the game, it was curfew, & you managed to escape to your room as quickly as possible

and dug your face into your pillow

and you just lied there for 10mins

and did not notice your friend enter

“what was the deal with guanlin? are you all a thing?” your friend asked as she sat on your bed

“uughhhhhhh”

“so i take that as a no?”

you sit up and faced her

“it was embarrassing,” you said & covered your face

“pff, it’s okay, have a good nights rest okay?” she said, patting your back

after sulking a bit more, you decided to change into your pjs

as you walked out of the room door, you noticed guanlin walking to his room wearing his freshly changed pjs

it was a matching set of fluffy pjs

it was so adorable wtf

wait

wHy were you feeling these?!?

you shook your head vigorously

like girl

you cant fall for some guy you just met

you did a quick change and went to sleep

but through hours of tossing and turning

you couldnt sleep

you just couldnt sleep in a new environment

partially another reason you didnt want to come

you would naturally grab your phone and scroll around on instagram or something

but since you didnt have it

you just laid on your bed

looking at the clock

it was almost 3am

you sighed

you had nothing to do

so you decided to go down to kitchen and make yourself some hot tea

it was really soothing to you

as you floated down the stairs craving for your tea

you noticed the kitchen light on

you peeked in

and saw guanlin standing there with his own cup of drink

before you could run away from the embarrassment previously

he called out your name

“yo y/n! you up too?”

you found his raspy voice so bEauTifuL

you slowly spun around

and reminded yourself to not remember the incident previously

and you did

“uhh, y-yeah,” you stammered, and walked past him to make a drink

he saw you, it was impossible to just walk away again

“ahaha yeah, me too, i can’t sleep in new places,”

while the hot water was pouring into your cup, you turned around

“rEally?” you said too enthusiastically

you eyes literally shone

and he was shocked

“o-oh sorry hah, i have the same problem,” you said, collecting your drink

looking out of the window, you said

“i just never knew someone with the a similar, yknow,”

guanlin hummed in agreement

the next hour was just spent talking

about anything tbh

about how you never really saw him in freshman and sophomore year because he was that timid

about grades

until you two finished your midnight drinks

you two walked up the stairs back to your rooms together

as you turned the doorknob to your room, he ruffled your hair and passed by behind you

“goodnight, y/n”

you could hear a smile from his voice

which made your heart melt ok

you returned to your bed and kindoff reflected

you would be spending two more of your years in school with your cRush

oh god u admitted your crush

aaaaaaaaaaaa

and you fell asleep to the thought that you would be able to see that smile everyday

fEw hOURs pass

9am!! sun rise!!!

breakfast!!

ofc u weren’t up because you slept at like 4am last night lmao

so you waddled out of bed at 11am

everyone already had their breakfast and are literally out of the door heading for the beach

you were so behind time lmao

once you saw no one around, you realized you were late

as you opened the front door, you heard stomping behind you

it was guanlin

because he slept at 4am too

“lets goooo!!” you shouted, grabbing his wrist and dragging him out of the door

jeez he didnt even put on slippers yet

once you reached the beach, you just ate the sandwich you packed for lunch and thats about it

while everyone else played

you werent much of a fan of the sun and outdoors bahah

but you saw guanlin playing in the water with the other guys

he had the smile again

the captivating one

you sigh and just look his way

for some reason

you had the urge to make him smile like that

and you really wanted to see him smile because of you

and you only

uhgh what were u thinking

time sKip

it was time to leave :(

everyone was one by one leaving the compound with their belongings

and you were one of the last ones

when you left, you saw guanlin waiting for you near the door

guanlin grinned, put down his duffel bag and opened his arms

you walked right into them, hugging him back

“see you soon, guanlin,” you said

“wait-”

you turn around

“uhm, i would love to talk with you again,” he said, handing you his phone with a new contact application

you smiled

“of course,”

#wanna one scenarios #lai guanlin #wanna one

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