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that-ari-blogger · 8 days

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A Discussion Of LavenderTowne and Hazbin Hotel

So, a little while ago, a YouTube channel called LavenderTowne ventured into the Hazbin Hotel fan space to propose some criticisms and fan redesigns of the characters.

I had thoughts on the original video, but those are irrelevant because its reception was… tumultuous, and in my opinion disproportionate. The video has since been taken down, and LavenderTowne uploaded a follow up to it (link). In which she stated that her experience with the Hazbin Hotel fandom wasn’t the most pleasant, something I would like to address.

So, this post will be an academic discussion of the designs from the second video. Because I think her criticisms were interesting and because I want to show that it is possible to disagree with someone without being unpleasent.

Also, I want to give LavenderTowne a more welcoming experience with the fandom, and try to make up for some other members of the community.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD (Hazbin Hotel)

I'm going to start with something that needs to be said. You can disagree with the rest of my post, but this is non negotiable:

It is never, under any circumstances, acceptable to harass someone for their opinions, especially about art. I don't care if you take issue with conclusions or perceived motivations, actions like I observed are not ok, and are not welcome in this fandom.

I hope I made that clear.

Anyway, I am going to be addressing the second video, because LavenderTowne took the first down, and I'm not about to intrude where I'm not wanted.

LavenderTowne mentioned the overarching stylistic choices, and I think that is a good place to start with this post, because they are good source of difference. Several of LavenderTowne’s criticisms are leveled at the Hazbin Hotel visual style itself, discussing what specific elements didn’t work for her and how she would personally draw things differently.

That is what I want to discuss here. Rather than the specifics of artistic technique, I am going to talk about the character design decisions brought about by the difference in style. This isn’t a question of skill, but an examination of the ideas presented.

Both LavenderTowne’s style and that of the Hazbin Hotel team range on the scale of realism, as is the nature of art, and that has caused a few of the design decisions that they have made. But it has also had a weird effect on the implied plot that is worth discussing.

Hazbin Hotel is more cartoony, for example, which means its logic is a bit more fluid. Vaggie's eye scar, for example, is shown over her hair, which isn’t how scars work in the real world.

This is a way of getting the tone across. Sir Pentious, at one point in the series, gets caught in the blast of an explosion and sent flying across the city. The design style lets you know that this is being played for a laugh and that he will probably be fine. If LavenderTowne had drawn Sir Pentious in her style, I guarantee that version of him would not survive the event, because hers is grittier (that’s the wrong word, but you get the point).

I do, however, really like the colour palette shift in LavenderTowne’s designs. Don’t get me wrong, I like the limited palette of the actual show, and I think it suits the setting more than the pastel aesthetic of LavenderTowne’s style.

But, those pastel colours are gorgeous and they are a really neat way of solving one of the problems that LavenderTowne identified and I agree with, that being how difficult character differentiation is when everyone has the same colouration as each other and their background.

Now, neither of the two options are implicitly better, there is just a different design sensibility going on.

As for the designs themselves, I actually prefer LavenderTowne’s Alastor over the original. I would like to see how it interacts with Alastor animation and transformation, but I think the design overall works better for the character. I like the horns being more pronounced, and I like that neat hairstyle. I think it's much more suited to an overly refined character who revolves around appearances.

“Just because you see a smile, don’t think you know what’s going on underneath. A smile is a valuable tool, my dear! It inspires your friends, keeps your enemies guessing, and ensures that no matter what comes your way, you’re the one in control.”

I think that Alastors original hair style is more about looking cool than looking refined. The shorter style, combined with the more prominent antlers, gives that air of someone actively concealing their more wild undercurrents.

That being said, I'm not as sold on Alastor's expression in LavenderTowne's design. This is a stylistic choice, but I don't think that the Cheshire Cat smile translates over to the alternate design as smoothly as his concept. In the original, that smile was the thing that denoted him as malicious, but LavenderTowne's design seems more huggable, at least to me.

LavenderTowne did raise an interesting point about the voodoo symbolism, a point that others have raised, and I think is worth noting. Incorporating that aesthetic as synonymous with dark magic in a setting based heavily off Christianity is funky, thematically. It's a use of stereotypes as shorthand, which carries the baggage of those stereotypes, intentionally or not. However, I am about as far from qualified to talk about this in detail as possible. I recommend that you listen to the opinions of people who know more about this than me, and who's case this is to make.

Husk’s design is another that I like, but this one I have slightly mixed feelings about. The body type change addresses another of LavenderTowne's criticisms of the series, again in relation to character differentiation. That is a strength of the video, LavenderTowne gives criticisms, and explains what she means and how she would go about doing it.

Interestingly, that body type issue is something I disagree with. I think the way that LavenderTowne has handled the issue she identified is fascinating, and one of the best parts of her process. But this is simply an issue I don’t see as a problem.

The criticism is that the silhouettes of the characters are exceedingly similar, meaning that identifying them is difficult, as well as limiting in terms of variety of proportions. I could point out Sir Pentious or Husk here, but that is arguing in bad faith because Husk is very clearly the exception to the rule, and Pentious actually conforms to her observation. Without his hood out, Pentious’ silhouette difference is in his tail, which is rarely onscreen.

The reason I am ok with this, is that Hazbin Hotel has a thing for transforming character designs. Charlie, Valentino, Emily and Serah, Lucifer, even Adam, Vaggie, and Lute, as well as a ton of others. All of these character designs shift as the story progresses, revealing aspects of them that they have kept secret. I like having the baseline similarities if everyone gets a moment where they show off how different they are from that baseline. I think that is a cool story beat that, for me at least, outweighs the problem of similarity. I’m sure LavenderTowne would disagree with me here, and that is more than fine.

Back to the point, Husk is a character who is surprisingly acrobatic and martially competent, and the slight shift in the alternative design switches him into more of a bar brawl type character. This feels like the guy who would just deck you and tell you to cool off, rather than throw something at you. He looks like the type of bartender he is, cool and calm, and ready to offer advice when needed.

The removal of the wings is an interesting choice. On the one hand, it clears up his design and makes him look more down to earth. On the other hand, it leads into my main bugbear with this design. I don't think this version of Husk looks like an overlord.

This is subjective, and I am struggling to quite explain it. But the wings, as well as his voice, give a sense of gravitas to Husk. Without that, Husk looks relatively unremarkable.

The outfit plays into this. While I prefer it and its subtlety, there is little that marks this version of Husk out as higher ranking.

Again, this isn't a case of the original designs being objectively better. This is a different design that communicates different things. LavenderTowne’s Husk is a humble bartender rather than an overlord playing pretend. I simply like the story that the original offers more.

Vaggie’s new design is both my favourite design of the four, and the one that is the furthest from the story of the show.

I love the quieter eye scar, I love the silhouette, and I think moving the ribbons to her back is a genius bit of visual storytelling.

The outfit is cool (I especially like those boots), but there's an asterisk to that, because I don't think it entirely suits Vaggie as she is presented in the show.

At the risk of oversimplifying, Vaggie is a fairly uncomplicated character. Not because she's written to be shallow, but because the show doesn't have time to explore her personality.

So, you get her past, which is fascinating, and it leaves some interesting things on the table.

For example, Vaggie has zero self preservation instinct and will burn herself to the ground for Charlie. This isn't complex, but it's remarkable how much the writers (and animators if you’re looking for that kind of thing) get out of this one detail.

Most notably, her character grows into realising that love means living for someone rather than dying to keep them safe. This culminates in the defeat of Lute, the embodiment of her past, who doesn't think to move out of the way of a collapsing building.

Similarly, Vaggie was an angel and wants to hide that aspect of herself. This makes her multifaceted in backstory, but the reveal doesn't have time to dwell on her characterisation, so it just feeds into what I said before.

I think that with another season of time to develop, Vaggie’s characterisation will become as complex as her backstory. But that doesn’t come quickly.

The point I am making is that I don't think this version of Vaggie would wear armour until the end. She doesn't think she can get killed, so why would she need to protect herself?

Which means that LavenderTowne's design would work for the last episode of the show, if it had wings, which is sacrificing the single best piece of foreshadowing I have seen in a long time. Seriously, I cannot stop gushing about those ribbons.

What we have, then, is a version of Vaggie with a slightly different story and personality. To me, LavenderTowne's Vaggie looks like a character who craves safety. She seeks Charlie because she offers emotional stability and kindness, the one person in hell who Vaggie doesn't think is against her. But she would wear the armour and outfit because of the injury. She realises she can be wounded and grabs the heaviest set she can find, the twin coloured trousers come from that desperation, and add to the imbalanced aspect of her design.

This version of Vaggie is defensive rather than offensive, and though it renders Out For Love obsolete, I find it more interesting than the original.

Charlie's design, however, I'm not such a big fan of. I'm sorry LavenderTowne, I really am. But this design really doesn't sit right with me.

Hazbin Hotel has a circus theme going on. The main foyer has a circus tent affectation, for example, and Charlie gives off the aesthetic of the ringmaster.

Charlie is very overtly the antithesis of a Disney princess, and that comes across in her design. Instead of wearing a floaty dress, she wears a suit and suspenders.

Yes, the hooves and horns being more prominent is a cool alteration that I appreciate, but the alternate outfit really doesn't feel like Charlie.

I think the difference is in the framing. To me, LavenderTowne's Charlie comes across as naive and optimistic, where the original design is more relentlessly hopeful, and that second one matches how she is in the series.

Charlie in Hazbin Hotel showcases true hope. Not optimism, hope. The type of emotion that keeps getting knocked down, but picks itself off the floor ever single time, and gets ready to try again. Charlie has no proof of her philosophy, no basis. She's not trying to recreate phenomena, she doesn't even know she can succeed. That's why she needs the hope.

I don't think that LavenderTowne's design has that vibe. Instead, this Charlie seems younger, which contributes to the naivety. It feels like it leans into her regular design, so the more fearsome transformation comes as a shock, mostly.

On the other hand, the three horn tiara element is genuinely really cool. It gives that air of reality, and hints at the transformation without giving it away. They round out the design and make the “this is a demon princess” clear.

Interactions between this Charlie and Adam, Lute, or Sarah would be interesting, as this version seems designed to foil off them, rather than the other way around. Especially Emily, this design seems genetically engineered to mirror her and make her question her ideals just through existing in the same place.

In short, this Charlie seems more gentle than the original, which might help in some aspects, but I prefer the original.

One again, this is my opinion, and not objective by any stretch of the imagination. If you disagree with me, good, that's the bread and butter of how analysis and discussion exists. But I hope I have shown that disagreement is possible without aggression.

Which brings me to my conclusion, and I have something here that I hope you will like.

LavenderTowne's designs feel like they are made for the same story, but paced differently. They feel like a different style of musical. They feel like they were made for a version of Hazbin Hotel that had more episodes and has time for subtlety, something that the original show unfortunately didn't have.

The story feels the same, but the minour changes make it seem more drawn out. The tone is different, and that effects the entirety of the rest of the story.

In other words, she is designing an AU, something she makes explicitly clear at least five times in her video.

LavenderTowne mentioned in her video that she might do a follow up with a few more characters. I would be intrigued to see this, because I want to know what Angel Dust would look like in this version of the story, as well as the actual angels and even the Vees.

I also am fascinated by how the art style affects the tone of the story. And with LavenderTowne's permission, I might have a crack at writing some of the key scenes from the show to fit this aesthetic and tone. I think that would be an interesting thought experiment.

Final Thoughts

LavenderTowne’s designs were dope as all hell, and the points she raised were worth discussing.

I love the series, but I understand that it's not everyone’s cup of tea. Content warnings should get that across, but also some people just won't like elements of it for any number of reasons, and that is ok.

I think @ohnoitstbskyen put it best in his discussion of the finale of the series. (Link). In his closing remarks, he spoke at length about people who will discover the show and the effect that it will have on them. That sentiment, boiled down, became the title of that video, and concisely says what I have taken just under 3000 words to talk around.

“This show will save someone’s life, but it isn’t for everyone.”

But let me be clear about why I wrote this.

I saw some of the shit that people wrote about LavenderTowne's original video, and though a lot of it was positive, a fair chunk was not, and I want to put my foot down. Disagreement about art is healthy, but if you think that involves harassment at all, then tell Husk he still owes me a drink.

On a lighter note, this is my first post about Hazbin Hotel, so for those who are reading my stuff for the first time, hello. I am Ari, I do media analysis, and I plan on doing a series on Hazbin Hotel, going through each song with lyrical and musical analysis once I finish my current one on Wicked. So, if that interests you, maybe stick around.

#rants #literary analysis #literature analysis #what's so special about...?#character analysis #hazbin fanart #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin charlie #hazbin vaggie #hazbin husk #lavendertowne #I will write for this AU if LavenderTowne lets me

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vermutandherring · 1 year

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Warning: This article contains descriptions of death and images of blood.

The first part of the review: ORIGINS The second part of the review: THE PLOT

There are small spoilers that do not reveal the plot of the game, but only separately highlight certain moments in the game.

In my opinion, of all the arts, theater holds on to its academic base the strongest. We see a lot of bad painting, just as much sculpture, listen to even more bad music. But I have never seen a bad performance. Being completely honest, I visited only world classics. But agree: in order for the work to evoke emotions, it must be correctly played by modern actors. Sitting in the front row of Vampyr, I had a strange feeling from the first minutes. This state, as if everything is fine, but you do not feel completely satisfied with what you see. It was clear that the game was trying to be poetic. Jonathan's dramatic speech and the visual scene of his transformation into a vampire are reminiscent of a poem. Laconic but eloquent form, good means of expression and incredible power of the actor's voice. I love lyrics. But at the beginning of the scene I feel awkward. After playing the game, when I was making screenshots for my reviews, I started the game over. The second time, I no longer had this feeling of mild-cringe. I think the biggest reason for that was the visual part - animated cutscenes, to be more precise. Why was such a strange style chosen to tell certain moments of the story? Perhaps the experience of working on the previous project of the Life is Strange developers with a more stylized design showed itself here. It also obviously simplifies the production process and reduces production costs and time. But I didn't like this modernization of the vampire story, because it looks more like raw sketches.

At one time, I was impressed by the way of storytelling in Yakuza. Periodically, we see shots in which the characters are static, but not completely frozen. We hear them talking, but their mouths don't move. Only text and visual 'graphic' effects. In fact, this is a method borrowed from comics or manga, if we are talking about a Japanese game. Yakuza isn't the only game to use this technique though (Bayonetta seems to have a similar tool). But it looks quite organic in a bunch with realistic graphics, unlike Vampyr. Here, these static frames are replaced by artworks. I am not saying that they are bad. They just stand out from the general atmosphere for me.

Oh, what an atmosphere! The smell of baked blood and dry half-decomposed bodies, the suffocating ash of burnt flesh and the crunch of bare bones. What a strange place to be born again! Thirst. Thirst torments all of us from the first seconds of birth. It is so insatiable that it blinds your eyes. And like a blind kitten, overcoming terror, he goes to its call to take a sip that will bring the desired comfort. But no. His soul will not rest. Pain and anger, guilt and despair of loss - this is what brings with it the long-awaited quenching of thirst. This is the price of being a vampire. And now we have to guide our hero along this path.

I like the beginning of the story. It resembles a climax taken from Shakespeare. In Jonathan's life journey, the role change was indeed a turning point. In the past - a brilliant doctor who once saved lives with his reinvention of blood transfusion. And now - a cursed creature that has to drink blood to save its own life. The creator of our main character claims that death is not God's punishment, but a gift. If so, why from the first minutes we appear in all the tragic before our new gift? God level drama. But Jonathan does not believe in divine providence, he relies on his own mind and believes in the power of science. Because at the moment when humanity raised its hands in supplicating prayer to God, religion betrayed them, leaving them in the vortex of voracious disease.

The game continues to use the game space as a theater stage in cutscenes. The characters are emotional, their speeches are full of drama and have well-accented intonations, complemented by an accent. The figures are arranged in the frame as if in a well-organized performance, and the angles create the impression that we are really in the first row of the parterre. The same feeling is observed in the usual dialogues with the characters, when the camera is directed from behind Jonathan's back to the interlocutor, as if we are watching the action. This fourth wall is broken by the game itself in the section where you enter directly into the theater. Your fight with the boss and the conversation take place on the theater stage, among the red curtains and the remains of the velvet decoration.

I think that when starting to write a story, we all at some point have the desire to choose a distant era, filled with the rumble of carriages and the rustle of long hems. For vampire works, England of the 19th and 20th centuries is generally like a forbidden fruit - you really want to touch it. Dark streets, cold brick of Gothic cathedrals and the Thames bathed in moonlight. England is such an obvious place for the development of your good story that at one time the developers of the game Sherlock Holmes: Chapter One transferred Sherlock Holmes, the most English character, from the streets of his native London to a fictional island called Cordona. It was a very good move, I must say.

But Vampyr does not need to resort to such tricks. The entourage of London drowned in chaos suits the story and is its addition, not just a pretty background. By 'pretty' I mean well-executed, atmospheric enough to immerse yourself in the game, and with good, intuitive level design. Because 'beauty' is not the word that can be applied to this nocturnal horror of dirty streets and ragged houses that create a miserable appearance. Quarantine reminders and posters with calls to join the army are hung on the walls and doors, littered with junk. I'm sure Jonathan had wild flashbacks every time I stopped to read them. In short, I like the forlorn look of Greater London with its gloomy silhouettes of houses against the night sky.

You can even see the silhouette of Tower Bridge

Again, returning to the visual component. I don't know how authentic the developers tried to make them. But like the inserts in the cutscenes, they stand out from the general context, seeming too modern for the beginning of the 20th century. In my article about how games introduced me to art, I mentioned a few words about the paintings in Lady Ashbury's castle. In one of the conversations with Jonathan, not wanting to fully reveal her age, she says that she can be found on the canvases of great masters. In particular, these are Vincent Van Gogh and Jan Vermeer. I don't know whether it was by chance or specifically that the artist logically included the works in-between the works of these artists. For example, we know that Vermeer, the master of the genre scenes, painted only one portrait in his entire life - Girl with a Pearl Earring. Let's not talk about all the theories of creation, because in this context it is not important. The date of creation is important - 1665 - 1667, the late period of artist's creativity. Vermeer's portrait of Elizabeth was painted in 1666, that is, in the same time period. The picture in the game is written in a free manner. The image has the appearance of a sketch and tends more towards DaVinci's sfumato technique, besides, it has a strange and uncomfortable perspective. It is very surprising for a representative of Dutch painting, whose artists have always been famous for canvases written to the smallest detail. At that time, the public simply would not have understood a work in such a technique. This is exactly what happened to Rembrandt, who, due to his new painting style, was left without clients, poor and forgotten at the end of his life.

I forgot to take a screenshot of Van Gogh's work. I think the website where I found this picture made a mistake in the date, because the year 1666 is also indicated there. With regard to the painting technique, here we also see only an imitation of the form with a complete disregard for the content.

The same applies to the work in which Lady Ashbury is depicted with her lover Lord J. Blackwood. You won't see this type of portrait on 18th century canvases, where a full-length couple is walking against a blank wall. I don't see the slightest need for Elizabeth to be portrayed by famous artists. In the same article about art in games, I gave an example of games that successfully quote art or individual works. Vampyr's attempt to do this feels misguided. These works do not have any symbolism, do not fit with the plot and are carelessly made. I see only one benefit from them - they emphasize that Lady Ashbury is a typical Mary Sue.

Elizabeth is perfect from start to finish: a mysterious red-haired vampire who captivates the main character immediately after several meetings. She is so ancient and, moreover, incredibly charming that she's on the canvases of great masters (unexpectedly). She is noble and rich, has a talent for painting, restrains her thirst (because she is not some vampire, but a proud ekon), and is also important to the plot. But if she were a person in another work under different conditions, her role in the plot and influence on it would not change at all. Because her character does not move the plot in any way, and is practically not revealed during it. However, if Lady Ashbury has any virtues that are completely irrelevant to the story, the game will let you know about it. At some point, she simply becomes the central protagonist, around whom everything revolves, like the Sun revolves around the Earth in the heretic's imagination.

Jonathan has no reason to have feelings for her, and their romance has no reason to exist. This relationship between the mentor and the student does not develop in any way, does not undergo significant tests that could bring the characters closer. Her image generally resonates with a bunch of heroines in novels of the 19th century, where the characters are beautiful only for some imaginary purity, care, fragility and masculine determination, 'uncharacteristic of the feminine'. The two-day marathon of Dracula reminded me again why I no longer touch fiction unnecessarily. Endless descriptions of heavy sighs, exhausted faces of ladies, their awe-inspiring looks, gentle voices, easy naivety and wisdom. They do absolutely nothing, but only need male guardianship, in order to eventually reach the hero as the main prize for all his suffering. Take away Lady Ashbury's fangs and her title, and she's no different from Mina Harker.

I like absolutely every female character more than the charming vampire Lady Ashbury, about whom everyone speaks with such piety that I want to shrink away from all that with a crucifix. While browsing the Internet, I came across a comment that Lady Ashbury has that same vampiric charm that makes you immediately fall in love with a heroine who doesn't put any effort into it. Vampire charm is a concoction of modern pop culture that romanticizes ancient sponger pests. I don't see any sense in this, because instead of a complex personality, we get an absolutely flat image of a beautiful lover who can live forever at the pleasure of its beloved. In Le Fanu and Stoker, this 'charm' is the embodiment of sin, everything carnal, forbidden by religion and modern morality. That is why Carmilla and the transformed Lucy captivate others without making an effort. Because they are the personification of lust, living human passion and desire. Lady Ashbury is just a log against their background.

Nevertheless, I cannot say unequivocally that Lady Ashbery is a spoonful of tar in this beautiful story. At some points, the game finds justification for her virtues, her penchant for charity and painting. But it happens too late. The end of the story, which finally reveals Lady Ashbery, does not impress and does not make (at least personally) sympathize with her and her fate. In the whole situation, her father seems more of a victim than his long-suffering daughter. This remorse, this wringing of hands and dramatic speeches about one's own guilt… All this tired me even when I read Dracula and once again related Ashbery to Harker for me. Although Mina's help in the development of the plot is still incomparably greater than the fluttering of Elizabeth's soul.

Against the background of the gray figure of Lady Ashbury, the character of Mary is much more interesting and meaningful. The first minutes of the game, so sorrowful and filled with regret, stretch for us for the first couple of chapters, and for Jonathan - for the rest of his existence. She reminded me of my own thoughts when I tried to imagine what it would be like to live forever. When the terrible pain of losing the closest people remains with you until the end of time. When you constantly accumulate past mistakes that can neither be corrected nor forgotten. How memories of the betrayal of a loved one eat away the remnants of common sense, turning you into a monster. Mary's story arc is interesting, it really is imbued with that gothic and mysterious flair found in the works of Le Fanu and Stoker. The tragic nature of her image raises a natural question: is eternal life really better than one-time death? Is it worth going through hell again and again, or is it better to end the torment instantly? I cannot despise her even after what she has done, because we all want inner peace. But in Vampyr you have to pay dearly for this peace.

And while Mary's character is great in that respect, her reveal also makes me a little sad. Everything happens too quickly, too hastily, pulling on some dubious motives. Mary throws her motives in our faces in an instant, and instead of being pleasantly enlightened by the truth after a long investigation, all I can say is 'Oh. Wow… Poor thing'. Unlike the rest of the main characters, you don't get to decide what Jonathan should do with his sister. And maybe it's for the best. As I already noted in the first part of the review, in those cases where you have a choice, you want to do the most 'right' thing without hurting anyone. And often you only do worse, being burned by your own desire to do justice. Mary still deserved mercy, no matter how cruel it was. After all, as Dr. Van Helsing said, "But if the most blessed of all, when this now UnDead be made to rest as true dead, then the soul of the poor lady … shall again be free. Instead of working wickedness by night and growing more debased in the assimilation of it by day, she shall take her place with the other Angels".

It would be possible to talk a little more about other key characters, talk about side characters, complain about the monotonous design of buildings and premises. But I advise you to try it yourself and form a personal impression of this wonderful game, despite all its flaws. I can also mention the music separately. I know absolutely nothing about music. But an ordinary player does not need it. After all, a well-made work can evoke clear and understandable emotions subconsciously. The compositions perfectly support the general tone of the game, emphasize the right moments and set their own intonations. The deep sound of the cello sings in unison with the gloomy atmosphere and mood of the characters. Modern notes are also heard in the compositions. But unlike drawn inserts, they do not spoil the work, but really modernize the story.

That concludes the Vampyr review. It was very exhausting and I'm not sure I'll ever do such a detailed review of a game like I'm writing a research paper. And although a lot was left out (for example, the sources of inspiration of the developers), I covered all the aspects that I wanted to. I may still do a review on Vampire The Masquerade, but it won't happen anytime soon.

#gaming #videogames #video games #video game review #vampire game #games art #vampire aesthetic #jonathan reid #vampyr #vampire #my articles

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yvesdot · 1 year

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Essays in kishoutenketsu form?? Mind pointing to some, if they’re available in english? I’m trying to think back if I’ve encountered any but I guess I never paid that kind of attention

(re: my tags on this post)

(if you don't know what kishoutenketsu is, this blog post & the wikipedia page are a good place to start)

I don't actually know of any specifics; all I know is that apparently Japanese people consistently find the Western (5-paragraph) way of writing essays confusing and nonsensical... because it is! It's nonsense and I wish we could break away from it more concretely in education. I did technically write some papers in kishoutenketsu myself while in university (and found them a breath of fresh air) but those are in Japanese and embarrassingly elementary.

My sources, for reference, are largely this Tofugu article, this academic paper, my time learning Japanese (culture and language), and the fact that I spoke to a Japanese university student directly who was learning to do 5-paragraph essay structure. (Also this came up in a Google search which I think demonstrates the extent to which each culture is surprised at the other's style.)

I don't think there's necessarily a clear 100% better way to write essays between the two, but kishoutenketsu is the obvious answer for anyone looking to write on a topic without a clear argument. For example, when discussing the question of Carmilla's sexuality in Carmilla, I don't like to have to open with "Carmilla is gay" or "Carmilla is not gay." I would much rather lead you through my thoughts organically than open and close with some kind of argument-- especially given that I don't even have a very strong opinion on the matter! I accept all viewpoints! Why do I have to assume I know some kind of ultimate answer, rather than open an exciting discussion? Kishoutenketsu allows one to journey through a topic without a set endpoint.

Finally: if you know of any English-language resources about kishoutenketsu in a fictional context, PLEASE send them my way! I've been trying to find more, especially when teaching creative writing. And if you're someone wondering what this looks like in practice, I recommend watching My Neighbor Totoro and comparing it to Howl's Moving Castle-- in my opinion, the former is strongly kishoutenketsu and the latter strongly "Western conflict-oriented structure," and prove the strengths of both structures. And THANKS FOR ASKING, because I love talking about this stuff!!

#txt #asks #kishoutenketsu #Seriously I very obviously know nothing so any resources are appreciated.

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greysweekly · 2 years

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Psyscope block randomizing

#Psyscope block randomizing full

A forward-looking, benchmark collection founded solidly in the traditions of the field!” Walt Wolfram, North Carolina State University “Research Methods in Sociolinguistics is a remarkably comprehensive and useful compendium of current methods in the field, ranging from the conception and establishment of a research project to the collection, processing, and presentation of data. The second part focuses on data analysis across a number of languages, subdivided into segments on linguistic and sociocultural techniques. The first of the book’s two sections details the types of data available, and explains collection methods ranging from sociolinguistic interviews to linguistic landscapes.

#Psyscope block randomizing full

A team of 21 leading contributors provides detailed procedural instructions on an array of anthropological and scientific methods that cover the full spectrum of contemporary sociolinguistics, from the study of style and discourse analysis to the study of phonetics. This practical guide to research methods in sociolinguistics equips readers with a full range of techniques to apply in their own academic work. Research Methods in Sociolinguistics A Practical Guide Schilling-Estes, 1999), Identity and Ethnicity in the Rural South: A Sociolinguistic View through Past and Present Be (2000), and An Introduction to Language (Wiley Blackwell, 2015). His publications include Dialect Change and Maintenance on the Outer Banks (with W. Kirk Hazen is Professor of Linguistics and Director of the West Virginia Dialect Project at West Virginia University. Vine, 2011), and An Introduction to Sociolinguistics (4th edition, 2013). Meyerhoff, Wiley Blackwell, 2003), Leadership, Discourse and Ethnicity (with M. Her many publications include The Handbook of Language and Gender (edited with M. She is Director of the Wellington Language in the Workplace (LWP) project and a Fellow of the Royal Society of New Zealand. Her sociolinguistics teaching focuses on workplace discourse, New Zealand English, and language and gender. Janet Holmes holds a personal Chair in Linguistics at Victoria University of Wellington, New Zealand. Tagliamonte, University of TorontoĬomprehensive coverage is combined with useful summaries, seasoned advice and troubleshooting tips, ideas for research projects, and a full directory of supplementary reading for those undertaking research in this specialist field. Whether you want to go to the field or the library, analyze words or interactions, study languages, dialects or sociolects, chart, map or quantify, this is the go-to book for the twenty-first century.” Sali A. *Going to conduct a test on my map, let's hope it doesn't lag.“This volume is like having the wisdom of Sociolinguistics at your fingertips. (7/26/16)Edit: *Added structure block to the list of randomizers. Thank you! If something is not clear, let me know asap. I know this is really not that big of a deal as it seems, but I am sure some of you will understand what I mean. So that we, the mapmakers do not have to make any randomizer contraptions which will only add lag or waste time. Maybe a toggle button at the bottom, between percent and fractions. IN this box we see that, we have a window, and a chance, when a player sets a percentage or maybe even a fraction, then when block is powered, it outputs a signal if it falls within the success rate. TLDR: In each of them Improvement might be needed (personal opinion)Īlright then, maybe there should be a block that actually outputs signal depending on the givens, in this case, chance. Structure block thanks to /u/ReduxRedstone and /u/IceMetalPunk for the suggestion.īut this is alright i guess, betting on the fact that chicken can glitch out in MJ's first design, that dispenser can just not have enough of outputs to make, and + entity is just ENTITY based, which is bad because Entities cause lag and as a mapmaker i don't need that. So far, I have seen multiple + enitity command So my idea comes from a simple randomizer that many map makers use. TLDR: New block might make things easier. So not while ago I posted about command block having a bigger window for editing and got a lot of positive outcome of that, so decided to do it again, because something very annoying just came up that should be taken care of(personal opinion), so now I thought of totally new implementation.

#Psyscope block randomizing

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lawson22jonasson · 2 years

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Why A Leader Need to Have The SMARTS

We've all witnessed many academically intelligent men and women, who don't seem to be able to get many principles, ideas, and concepts. Intellect and practical often don't conflict, and many of the most prosperous individuals, including entrepreneurs, civic and organizational leaders, etc, achieved their success, because they had something, also known as street smarts. Back in the 1970's, one of my favorite, and most prosperous investment clientele, never caused it to be previous fourth grade, but he had an amazing insight, intuition, and understanding, of just how to obtain things completed, he did not really let his shortage of a conventional education, get inside his way (perhaps, as he when suggested to me, he felt it actually helped catapult him forward). While Paul Simon composed, But my lifestyle of education has not hurt me nothing, I can read the writing on the wall. Let's critique a number of the reasons the leader will need to have typically the SMARTS. one Alternatives; strengths; service: Blaming and complaining, or perhaps even quality concepts which never have root, achieve very little of substance! Perfect leaders must get solutions - focused, solving challenges and overcoming obstacles! They will realize, the major purpose and concentrate of a real leader, must be providing the very best quality, empathetic, relevant service to their particular constituents! second . Stimulate: A great head realizes he still cannot get things carried out alone, and unless his stakeholders buy - into their approach, plans in addition to ideas, he is not going to achieve what this individual wants and requires to perform! He centers on methods to motivate these people, not only by making clear promises and rhetoric, but instead by top by example, and so forth! 3. Attitude; aptitude; attention: Do you possess an optimistic, can - do attitude, or do you revert to be able to gloom - and even - doom? A new positive attitude, coupled with developing an exceptional aptitude, while paying keen attention in order to both details, since well as precisely what is occurring, can make one a smart chief! 4. Relevant; dependable; reasonable; rational: Zero one will listen, if you may address one of the most appropriate issues, concerns and priorities. Your constituents must view you as being reliable and reasonable, and planning effectively. Whenever they don't perceive your opinions, as being realistic, they will not follow you! 5. Timely; occasion - tested; developments: It really is indeed the unique leader who else will proceed which has a balance of getting timely action, maintaining time - tested ideas/ programs, etc (while examining options to address less strong areas), and knowing which current styles are significant! six. Sustainable system: It shouldn't take a genius to appreciate, a single is only the quality leader, if he looks over and above today's obstacles and even challenges (although he or she addresses them), plus creates, develops and implements a lasting system, which should guarantee the group's upcoming. Do you experience the SMARTS to be able to serve as an innovator? Are you prepared, willing and capable to use them? Rich has owned organizations, been a COO, CEO, and Representative of Development, as well as a consultant. He's skillfully run events, consulted to over a thousand leaders, and executed personal development training seminars, for 4 years. Rich has composed three books plus thousands of content articles. His company, PLAN2LEAD, LLC has a good informative website : http://plan2lead.net and LIKE the Facebook page for leadership planning: http://facebook.com/Plan2lead

#Mi Band 4 Review #more info #here #read more #website #get more info #check here

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sabugabr · 2 years

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"Encanto" and the myth of the Magical Latin America

Well hello again my gorgeous maritacas ✨ Today, we talk yet again about, yes, colonialism.

SOO, I hope I didn't miss the boat on this subject, cause I've been wanting to write about it since I first saw the very first divulgation of Disney's most recent animation movie, Encanto (2021).

I am Brazilian, born and raised in Latin America, and I have been in love with this place since I opened my little dark brown eyes. I spent most of my academic years researching latinex art and culture and history, and one of my deepest passions is our literature. So imagine my instigation when I heard Disney would be making this movie.

You see, in addition to taking place in Latin America and in a country neighboring mine, which would already be a reason for me to be 1000% more intrigued about this, most of the comments and publicity over it followed this line:

✨Magical Realism ✨

And then I started to worry

And then I watched the movie

Then I got more worry

Because, yes, I know that this is an ongoing discussion on if Encanto is Magical Realism or not, and there're people debating very fairly on both sides, but here I'd like to leave my arguments over why and how I feel culturally obliged to disagree. So, this is my point, and my side, so please don't take anything I say here for fact or go on me for idk, indoctrinate in an argument. But I will be linking a lot of references for you to really see where I'm coming from here, and that place is

NO, ENCANTO IS NOT MAGICAL REALISM

And we really need to talk about it

So buckle up, because this will be long (but necessary, trust me)

SO, I went to read those interviews with the directors and producers of this movie and they said this:

" [...] once Charise joined us, she had such a great grounding and magical realism, that this place, Colombia, which is one of the cradles of that literary style with Gabriel Garcia Márquez, it just made total sense, talking about a family. And a great way to get organic Latin American magic into this film without trying to force it into some European type of magic, that you’ve maybe seen before in other films." (source)

And then, when asked about the differences between "European magic" and "Latin American magic", Charise Castro Smith said:

"Well, I think magical realism is a fast tradition that doesn’t just exist in Latin America. It’s a literature tradition that’s throughout the world. But I think the way we started to think about it and sort of define it within the context of our film, was that it was magic that was born out of emotion. Magic that was born out of character and relationship, instead of something that was like an external force sort of foisted upon the characters in the story." (x)

So, they defined Encanto as "Latin America magic", and defined it as Magical Realism, and that as "magic born out of emotion".

That is not wrong, but that's also not quite right. From what I could get from these interviews, the thing is that, maybe it was wrong phrasing, but I think they mistook Magical Realism for metaphors.

But before I get into that, I have to state that I really liked Encanto. It's fun, it's colorful, and I really think they've done a great job representing how Latino families are structured, and how we relate to our families. I could relate to a lot of the situations in the film on a very personal level, and one of the ways they were able to do that, in my opinion, was through the use of, yes, metaphors.

Because, in this movie, you can divide magic in about two ways:

First, when it's used narratively. That's the case of Bruno's magic, and Dolores', for example. And actually, kudos to Dolores for being one of the biggest narrative tools I've seen in a long time.

And second, when it's used as a metaphor. That would be the case of Luisa's magic, and Peppa's, and etc

See that? That's a metaphor. A very clear one.

And it works just fine. It's good. It's well done. It does a great job passing the point. Magic, here, works as an external representation of internal conflict. Makes us able to get the metaphor and relate to these very personal conflicts without directly addressing them (which would make the movie way, let's say, heavier to watch kkkkkk I'm so funny). So yes, I definitely agree with Castro Smith that Encanto is about magic that comes out of emotion. That's great, 10/10.

But that's not what Magical Realism is.

And I could get into why the whole "magic as metaphor" thing couldn't be considered "European magic" or what even is "European magic" anyway, which would lead me to this whole "let's talk about Christianity" thread, but I'll stick to my current point here (for now)

And for you to properly understand my point here, before getting properly into Encanto I'll have to do some contextualization first, so...

1. MAGICAL REALISM

Let's name the donkeys (Brazilian saying, sorry).

So, the thing Castro Smith said there above, about magical realism not being like, Latin America exclusive? That's absolutely right. We have a huge plurality of great works and authors writing Magical Realism all around the world (one of my favorites is the Mozambican writer Mia Couto, btw). So, for this little contextualization here, I'll quote some lines of another post I wrote about Magic Realism, applied specifically in the context of Brazil (and feel free to check it out here), but which sufficiently covers my point at the moment:

To make matters short, if you never heard of it, Magical Realism is a 20th century genre that portrays "a realistic view of the modern world while also adding magical elements" to it, without this "magic" being perceived as such within this established world.

Matthew Strecher (1999) defines it as:

"what happens when a highly detailed, realistic setting is invaded by something too strange to believe." (source)

So, basically, one of the key points of Magic Realism is the assimilation of this magic as not being "magical" — as we are used to understanding "magic", but rather an estrangement within an apparently common scenario. It is closer to the uncanny than to the fantastical, and the fact that the "commom" people (the characters) within these realistic and common settings do not seem to perceive or assimilate the uncanny as being uncanny, is what creates this feeling of enchantment in these works.

And yes, I know that technically Magical Realism was born in Germany in the 20s, but it really peaked in America Latina. When you think of Magical Realism, the names that probably come to mind are Frida Kahlo, Gabriel García Márquez, María Luisa Bombal, etc. etc. We just nailed it.

And Frida can't let me lie

In his Nobel-winning speech (called The Solitude of Latin America) for his book Cien Años de Soledad (One Hundred Years of Solitude), the Colombian writer Gabriel García Márquez addressed a somewhat poor understanding of his work on the part of European society, who might perceive our Magical Realism as being fanciful and enchanted.

He said:

"I dare to think that it is this outsized reality, and not just its literary expression, that has deserved the attention of the Swedish Academy of Letters. A reality not of paper, but one that lives within us and determines each instant of our countless daily deaths, and that nourishes a source of insatiable creativity, full of sorrow and beauty, of which this roving and nostalgic Colombian is but one cipher more, singled out by fortune. Poets and beggars, musicians and prophets, warriors and scoundrels, all creatures of that unbridled reality, we have had to ask but little of imagination, for our crucial problem has been a lack of conventional means to render our lives believable. This, my friends, is the crux of our solitude.

And if these difficulties, whose essence we share, hinder us, it is understandable that the rational talents on this side of the world, exalted in the contemplation of their own cultures, should have found themselves without valid means to interpret us. It is only natural that they insist on measuring us with the yardstick that they use for themselves, forgetting that the ravages of life are not the same for all, and that the quest of our own identity is just as arduous and bloody for us as it was for them. The interpretation of our reality through patterns not our own, serves only to make us ever more unknown, ever less free, ever more solitary."

I've linked the full speech there above. It's translated to English, but I highly recommend you read the original in Spanish, if you can understand it. Is incomparable

What García Márquez is saying is that there is a subtle difference in the way we Latinos relate to Magical Realism. For us, the fantastic is not there because it is magical or beautiful, or simply as a metaphor. Yes, it is a metaphor, but one so ingrained in our sentiments and experiences that it becomes very difficult to explain or translate to outsiders. The fantastic is actually an European-imposed way of seeing ourselves, because it's how they saw us since the 1500s.

2. THE MAGICAL TERRA INCOGNITA

When Europeans first arrived in our lands, they described Latin America as a land of enchantments. As they were not familiar with the native cultures, native peoples, our fauna and our flora, their way of seeing us was through the lens of the fantastic; lens that they created themselves. If you search online, you will find a series of period maps of the South America depicting magical creatures:

Map by Pedro Reinel and Lopo Homem, named Terra Brasilis, 1519

See the little dragon? That's actually a true story: you see, when the Portuguese arrived, they heard the jaguars roaring in the woods, and thought it was the sound of dragons. They saw the manatees swimming under the river and thought they were mermaids.

As they entered the Amazon River, some boats were attacked by the Icamiabas, warriors of a matriarchal indigenous people in which women went out to fight — and they were spectacular warriors. Seeing these women, the Europeans thought they had arrived on the magical island of the Amazons, of Greek culture. And that's why the Amazon River is now called "Amazon", and that's why the forest is called the "Amazon" forest (source). Because Europeans mystified native peoples.

And ultimately, fetishized and bestialized these native peoples.

And that's just like, 3 examples in the specific context of Brazilian colonization process. That's just the tip of the tip of the iceberg.

Regarding that map above, the professor André Reyes Novaes, in his article "Terra Brasilis as Terra Incognita", says (translated by me) that

"At that time, “Terra Brasilis”, as named on the map, was “Terrae Incognitae”, which gave cartographers “carte blanche” (free pass) to fill in the “empty spaces on the map” (Safier, 2009). El Dourado, Ilha Brasil, the Amazon Warriors and many other “myths” occupied the interior of the continent on maps in the period of expansion of the Iberian colonies. [...] Contrasting with the "mythological" interior, the sea appears full of caravels, coats of arms and flags, a space clearly determinated and scratched by the geometry of the orientation lines of the portolan charts. [...] According to Hiatt (2008), the expression terra incognita is today a powerful metaphor, because even in the era of the comprehensive “Google Earth”, it continues to be applied to discuss the relationship between imagination and “unknown” spaces by specific groups. As Wright (1947:72) stated, “if today there is no terra incognita in the absolute sense, there is also no absolute terra cognita”, as we continue to relate to space based on socially produced and shared representations and models." (source)

So, through these records, Europeans created the contrast between European civilizations (organized, mapped, civilized) and native civilizations (bestialized, savage, magical). And that was a very important tool in the domination of our lands. Because when you mystify a people, you dehumanize that people. And it is easier to dominate a dehumanized people.

This enchanted narrative they created actually masked a history of oppression, exploitation, rape and genocide.

And this fantastical way of seeing ourselves ended up being imprinted on us. Magical Realism does not exist to be magical, it exists to express in words, using the language that has been imposed on us, the absurdity of our narrative. It's the way we can translate the reality of our otherwise unbelievable history. As García Márquez said,

"we have had to ask but little of imagination, for our crucial problem has been a lack of conventional means to render our lives believable".

And this resonates even today. Because even after the movements of Independance, Latin America suffered and still suffers from the consequences of colonization, first by Europe, and later by the United States. As Reyes Novaes continues:

"As literal terra incognita, the South American frontiers have gone centuries without being properly explored and represented by European cartographers. As metaphorical terra incognita, these regions continue to be recurrently qualified through imagination and shared narrative in metropolitan centers. Even in the 21st century, the idea of “empty space to be occupied” still populates the imagination about the borders of South American power centers and new mythological “monsters” are represented in these spaces, such as drug-dealers, invaders, smugglers and criminals." [...]

"Considering the metropolitan and coastal vision of many Brazilians, Terra Brasilis remains Terra Incógnita, a relatively "empty" and "uncivilized" space, dependent on public policies formulated from outside. The persistence of this vision in the 21st century is perhaps one of the great challenges for the recognition of our own dynamics and autonomous exchanges existing in border spaces, often imagined as areas to be occupied, protected and colonized by the metropolitan centers." (x)

And by no means this just the story of Latin America. This is the story of Polynesia. Of Southern Asia. Of the African Continent. Of so many nations genocidated by the violence of the colonizer. This mystifications (and later demonizations) of non-European cultures shaped the fantastic imagination of these cultures. That's why I said that Magical Realism found a huge plurality around the world. It represents the imaginary of a colonized nation.

3. MAGICAL REALISM AS A WAY OF PRESERVING AND EXPRESSING COLLECTIVE MEMORY

For this, I'll use García Marquez's work (so often cited to relate to Encanto) as a reference. In his best-known work, One Hundred Years of Solitude, García Marquez weaves the story of generations of the Buendía family, founders of the city of Macondo, over 100 years.

After the book's release, not few managed to find, in Macondo, an analogy for Latin America itself, and the events that surround the characters in the book, mirrors for events that marked our own history.

The metaphors that appear throughout the book, not so much metaphors for personal feelings, are closer to metaphors to express the feeling of an entire nation during actual events, as he said in his speech, of unbelievable, "unbridled reality".

Look at this excerpt:

"Although in the months that followed they reinforced the grave with walls about it, between which they threw compressed ash, sawdust, and quicklime, the cemetery still smelled of powder for many years after, until the engineers from the banana company covered the grave over with a shell of concrete." (source, p. 69)

At a certain point in the book, an American arrives in Macondo and, settling himself next to a train line, starts an innocent banana plantation. Later, his business grows and he starts a banana company, which takes over Macondo and suddenly, the entire production of the city consists only of bananas. Macondo no longer produces anything other than bananas, which are quickly loaded into huge train cars that carry these bananas away. The city is then taken over by a banana plague, and as the above passage describes, eventually even the cemetery is covered by the banana company.

Now, if you have ever studied anything from Latin America, you will probably immediately associate this with the famous United Fruit, a real multinational known throughout the world for creating the concept of the Banana Republic and for changing the political and economic directions of an entire continent (ours).

It's like a scheme:

Basically, using local (and inhumanly cheaper) labor, they specialize in the cultivation of a single commodity, produce that commodity on a large scale (thus ending any family farming systems that might exist and alienating production and the local market) and then export this commodity abroad at ABSURDLY lower prices than other markets. That's what happened with the banana. This type of system forces a country to remain in underdevelopment, and this was a large-scale project carried out in Latin America by the United States. And we reap the "rewards" of that in our industry and economy to this day.

And then García Marquez writes:

“Look at the mess we’ve got ourselves into,” Colonel Aureliano Buendía said at that time, “just because we invited a gringo to eat some bananas.” (p. 114)

Do you know what happens next? The exploited workers revolt against the banana company, and they are all machine-gunned by the American military. Women and children too. After managing to escape with his life and return home, José Buendía counted about three thousand dead. And when he goes and tells all this, horrified, to the first person he meets, do you know what that person says to him? She says "What are you talking about? There weren't any dead".

"The official version, repeated a thousand times and mangled out all over the country by every means of communication the government found at hand, was finally accepted: there were no dead, the satisfied workers had gone back to their families, and the banana company was suspending all activity until the rains stopped." (p. 151)

Now you go, and you Google "United Fruit Banana Massacre" or just "Banana Massacre". That's the Realism in Magical Realism.

Through a prosaic narrative, what García Marquez is doing is documenting historical events. Trough the narrative of One Hundred Years of Solitude, García Marquez told the story of his own land.

And the banana case is clearer to understand, but these historical relationships run through every aspect of the book. Take this other example: Right at the beginning, the narrative shows the patriarch of the Buendía family, José Arcadio Buendía (and his wife Úrsula Iguarán) guiding a group of people into the virgin forest in search of a place to build a village, and then,

"When they woke up, with the sun already high in the sky, they were speechless with fascination. Before them, surrounded by ferns and palm trees, white and powdery in the silent morning light, was an enormous Spanish galleon. Tilted slightly to the starboard, it had hanging from its intact masts the dirty rags of its sails in the midst of its rigging, which was adorned with orchids. The hull, covered with an armor of petrified barnacles and soft moss, was firmly fastened into a surface of stones. The whole structure seemed to occupy its own space, one of solitude and oblivion, protected from the vices of time and the habits of the birds. Inside, where the expeditionaries explored with careful intent, there was nothing but a thick forest of flowers." (p. 12)

They find a Spanish galleon. Intact. Filled with flowers. They were for the first time clearing a virgin forest, making their way, and when they arrive in the land that in the future would be their home, they discover that Spain was already there, craved in the stone soil. Here, the galleon can be interpreted as representative of the Spanish domination, which is embedded in the imagination of our lands by the invention of the narrative of a "discovery" that completely erases the history that existed here before the arrival of Europeans.

But if you are not familiar (or at least know about it) with the collective feeling of the solitude of being the result of an erased history and memory, the only thing you'll take from this scene is how beautiful it is.

And as I said before, Latin America is not the only one to use Magical Realism to translate a fantasized reality. The book Terra Sonâmbula (Sleepwalking Land), by the Mozambican writer Mia Couto (I just love this author so much), is another great example of what I'm talking about. And I won't go into this otherwise it would be very long, but just go and read it. It's amazing.

So, I think you got the hang of the ideia by now.

But what does all of this have to do with Encanto?

4. "LATIN AMERICA MAGIC"

Now that you've been covered up with all this historical contextualization and some examples above, I'll repeat what I said at the beginning: to me, Encanto is not Magical Realism. And this is due to two factors:

The magic is perceived as magic within the movie's stablished universe

The magic in Encanto is always individualized

Let's start with number 1. As I said there above, there isn't exactly a rule on this particular aspect, but it's a general consensus that for Magical Realism to happen, you can't have phrasings like "this is magic!" or "they did magic!" within your universe. As Figueiredo points out (and yes, I'll put here yet another source here, but this is only to stablish my point using more then one academic source so you don't think I'm taking this off my ass (another Brazilian saying, sorry again), in Magical Realism

"...the supernatural is presented in a realistic way, as if it doesn't contradict reason, and there are no explanations for the unreal events presented. There is no reference to the mythical imagination of pre-industrial societies, as if the author, not concerned with the reader, exercises full freedom of creation. Magic refers to inexplicable, prodigious, or fantastical occurrences that contradict the laws of the natural world, and there are no convincing explanations in the text for their presence. It differs from the fantastic in that the narrator is not altered, intrigued or disturbed by this reality." (source, translated by me)

You can see that in Sleepwalking Land, where the character Kindzu sees his brother turn into a rooster in front of him and his reaction is closer to "well that sucks, guess we gonna put him in the chicken coop now" than some astonishment.

Or in O Tempo e o Vento (The Time and The Wind, a Brazilian novel), which tells the story of generations of a family in which the fate of women is to spin, cry and wait, and where, on the return to his wife, a man ends up arriving 50 years late.

And he finds her an old woman, of course, waiting.

You can see that in One Hundred Years of Solitude, when the city is attacked by a plague of oblivion and there's no fuss over it. Or when it rains for 4 years and the old people just decide to wait to die in the drought, because they don't want to die wet. Or when a pig-tailed baby is literally carried into the earth by countless ants and no one bats an eye. Or when Remedios the Beauty had to be isolated from any contact with foreigners because her scent was so seductive and so strong that in one incident, upon seeing her naked, a man's blood turned into oils soaked in her perfume, torturing him even after death. Or when, after the death of José Arcadio Buendía, the city was covered with yellow flowers that fell from the sky, and the only reaction was that they had to mobilize people to clean the streets so the funeral procession could pass by.

In fact, the only scene in which a character in the book is truly astonished by something is when, for the first time, José Arcadio Buendía and his son Aureliano see ice.

"MANY YEARS LATER as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice." [...]

“It’s the largest diamond in the world.”

“No,” the gypsy countered. “It’s ice.”

José Arcadio Buendía, without understanding, stretched out his hand toward the block, but the giant moved it away. “Five reales more to touch it,” he said. José Arcadio Buendía paid them and put his hand on the ice and held it there for several minutes as his heart filled with fear and jubilation at the contact with mystery. Without knowing what to say, he paid ten reales more so that his sons could have that prodigious experience. Little José Arcadio refused to touch it. Aureliano, on the other hand, took a step forward and put his hand on it, withdrawing it immediately. “It’s boiling,” he exclaimed, startled. But his father paid no attention to him. Intoxicated by the evidence of the miracle, he forgot at that moment about the frustration of his delirious undertakings and Melquíades’ body, abandoned to the appetite of the squids. He paid another five reales and with his hand on the block, as if giving testimony on the holy scriptures, he exclaimed:

“This is the greatest invention of our time.” (p. 8-15)

CAN YOU FEEL THE CHILLS WHILE READING THIS? CAUSE I CAN

Magical Realism doesn't enchant us because it is magical. It enchant us because it is so raw, and crude, and so painfully real, that we feel our souls tearing apart when we come in contact with it. Just take a look at any Frida's paintings and you'll get what I mean

In Encanto, however, the "magic" is definitively perceived as magic, and it's often pointed out by MANY characters throughout the story. So, to me, that kind of breaks the Magical Realism thing.

Because it just looks like a "magic as a metaphor" situation, not anything out of the ordinary for a Disney movie. For example, how are any of the magical situations in Encanto different from, say, the ones in Beauty and the Beast? Really, it's pretty much the same idea, magic as a metaphor. And a magic house.

You even get the emotion magic going on and all

And that's super ok.

I love Disney magic. Everybody does.

So why call it differently just because it's set on Latin America?

AS FOR NUMBER 2

This might seem more of a personal opinion, and maybe it is, but this was actually one of the things that bothered me the most in this whole "Encanto is so Magical Realism" thing.

Because, as I spent 90% of this post explaining, Magical Realism in Latin America has very specific contours that are the result of centuries of troubled history. To ignore the social, historical and, above all, political undertones that the Latin works of Magical Realism have, is to ignore all the effort that this movement had in reclaiming the fantastic narrative of our own existence.

Is to ignore all the power we got by taking away from the colonizers the right to see us as "enchanted" or "magical".

And again, maybe this is a personal feeling of mine. But I can't see a work in which magic is used in such a personal and individual way by the characters as Magical Realism. As a metaphor for overload, or for personal conflicts, or for intergenerational trauma, or for singular heartache. Don't get me wrong, I loved the way Encanto created these metaphors. And they are great. I just can't fit it into everything I said above.

And I know the film DOES represents a reference to our troubled history and violence through the story of Abuela Alma. And again, this may be a personal opinion, but although I was deeply moved and cried the whole time, I don't think it was enough to frame this scene as "social criticism", or as something political.

In fact, I think this scene relates much more to the children and grandchildren of immigrants who had to leave Latin America for violent and inhumane reasons, than to us who stayed here. And perhaps that was the purpose of the film, to speak to the Latino families who were forced to diaspora. But then we are talking about another story. Not Colombia's.

I can't disassociate Magical Realism from politics, and I don't think it should be done. Because when you strip the Magical Realism from the political and historical and social contexcts, the only thing left is the "magic". And that's giving back the power to the colonizers. We are not "magical". Latin America is not "magical".

And I think that when you strip the symbols created by García Marquez from their original contexts, so carefully stitched together by him, you vastly impoverish his work.

For me the best example of this is the yellow butterfly.

The yellow butterfly ended up turning into something, apparently. Not only in Encanto, but in more than one "Latin" recent work I've seen some mention of butterflies that were clearly based on One Hundred Years of Solitude (yes, All The Crooked Saints, I'm looking at you)

And you can see that there is a direct relationship between the yellow butterflies in Encanto and the yellow butterflies in One Hundred Years of Solitude.

And while there's no way to know what was going through García Marquez's head when he wrote these butterflies (only that yellow butterflies populated his grandparents' house during his childhood), the yellow butterfly ended up becoming a symbol of Latin Magical Realism.

Which is beautiful. But if you read the book, you'll see that they only appear in the narrative of the life of Renata Remedios (Meme), great-great-granddaughter of José Arcadio Buendía and Úrsula Iguarán. More precisely, the butterflies would only appear around Mauricio Babilonia.

"It was then that she realized that the yellow butterflies preceded the appearances of Mauricio Babilonia. She had seen them before, especially over the garage, and she had thought that they were drawn by the smell of paint. Once she had seen them fluttering about her head before she went into the movies. But when Mauricio Babilonia began to pursue her like a ghost that only she could identify in the crowd, she understood that the butterflies had something to do with him. Mauricio Babilonia was always in the audience at the concerts, at the movies, at high mass, and she did not have to see him to know that he was there, because the butterflies were always there." (p. 141)

The passion of Meme and Mauricio is one of the most detailed and poetic of the book. When the relationship is forbidden by Meme's mother, Fernanda, the two start to see each other in secrecy. Mauricio spends every night sneaking into Meme's quarters. And as, consumed by passion, she lives for the moment she will meet him, she waits for him lying on the bathroom floor, naked and burning with love, surrounded by scorpions. And the first sign of his arrival are the yellow butterflies coming through the window and infesting the house.

There's a line, when they're meeting at the cinema, that says:

"Meme felt the weight of his hand on her knee, and she knew that they were both arriving at the other side of abandonment at that instant". (p. 142)

The thing is, the two are lonely. And the more they sink into each other, the lonelier they get together. After Mauricio's death, the butterflies start to follow Meme, who drowns in lethargy. The yellow butterflies are, in the book, the symbol of the relationship of these two characters, who drowned their loneliness in each other's carnality. It's an intense, and carnal, and sensual, and painfully shallow relationship. And most of all, it's incredibly sad.

"Aureliano recognized him, he pursued the hidden paths of his descent, and he found the instant of his own conception among the scorpions and the yellow butterflies in a sunset bathroom where a mechanic satisfied his lust on a woman who was giving herself out of rebellion" (p. 200)

This is what was translated into the feeling of the solitude of the Latin America. Not by García Marquez himself, but by later interpretations. When I think about it, I always picture it as the feeling of the moment when, every night, Meme sees the first yellow butterfly coming through the window, and she can feel that in her gut.

And now you tell me,

why would anyone consider using this symbology in a Disney movie?

And even more, to use as a symbology of reconciliation and protection and family love? And...???

Disney my beloved??????

So, yeah, I think this movie had a lot of beautiful references to García Marquez, but taken so far from the original contexts and in such shallow ways that to me it felt more like they researched and saw that apparently yellow butterflies represent Latin Magical Realism and García Marquez and thought "wow this is lovely let's totally use that look how beautiful this is" because it looked "magical".

SO IN CONCLUSION

I like Encanto. This post is in NO WAY an attack on the film, or the Latin representation of the film. In fact, I think Encanto does a really great job at it (and as a light-skinned latina, I can stand by that very deeply).

But the statements about the magic of this movie, and the divulgation around it, and the way the producers of this movie have labeled it and approached all of this... Idk. I don't know why they felt the need to place Encanto as belonging to or inspired by Magical Realism, rather than simply telling a story that stands on its own, and happens to be set in Latin America.

I don't think the homages they paid to García Marquez were wrong or offensive in any way, in fact I thought they were all nice. I thought the yellow butterflies were beautiful, and yes, they did ended up becoming a symbol of Colombia, whether this is based on their original meaning or not. I am not complaining about the fact that they were there. What bothers me is that label. This justification that the magic of Encanto would be, somehow, different, because it was latina. That we'd have a magic that'd be different from the "European Magic".

And that bothers me even more because, I was curious enough to research to see if I was missing something, and I couldn't find ONE Latin story or legend that mentioned a magic house, for example. In Brazil we have some stories that take place in magical houses or castles (my favorites when I was a kid were "The Devil's Godchild" and "The Black Bird"), but all of these are adaptations of originally European tales. That arrived here with the European colonizers. This idea of a magical house with lots of doors and rooms bigger than the outside and fantastic things inside each of them is INCREDIBLY European. Based on European fairy tales and fables.

Aside from the fauna and flora and architecture and clothing and family dynamics the movie depicted wonderfully, there was NOTHING in the magic of Encanto that referenced or translated any folkloric magical elements of Colombian culture. I saw nothing remotely close the the La Madre de Agua, or a patasola, or a candileja, or Las Brujas de Burgama, nothing.

Why, when Disney makes a movie based in some European country, they choose fairy tales and stories from those countries to adapt, but in Latin America they ignore our stories? The legends of the native people, indigenous people, inland culture, anything?

Curious, isn't it?

But anyway, back on track. Since they didn't take an already existed tale from here, guess they thought that Magical Realism would be a good way to convey that. But they kinda didn't do that? As I said, I don't think Encanto is Magical Realism.

And honestly, if they had just made up a story that made sense and was respectful to our culture, and just placed it in Latin America (like The Emperor's New Groove, the most flawless Disney movie ever made), I think I would have enjoyed it a LOT more. But to me, it just felt like they were trying to make the whole thing about Magical Realism, without delivering it properly.

So they just made Latin America magical for the gringo eyes again.

Cheers.

SO YEAH, these were my thoughts on the subject!!! Please don't take any of it as any kind of personal attack on the people behind the movie, if there's any blame I'm more then happy to just put it on Disney Company (but we all agree on that, I think). I just wanted to tell a little of our history and explain why Magical Realism means so much to us. And you are totally free to have whatever opinion you do on this!!! RISE AND SHINE

And, as always, thank you so, so much for reading!!! ❤

#encanto #encanto 2021 #disney encanto #disney #disney animated movies #meta #movie essay #magical realism #colombia #gabriel garcía márquez #cien años de soledad #latin america #history

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mercuryruledd · 2 years

Text

The astrology of Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir from MLB (In my opinion)

Libra sun 3H (as his chart ruler)

Pisces moon 8H

Leo rising

Libra mercury 3H

Leo venus 1H

Scorpio mars 4H

MC in Taurus

Jupiter 2nd house

Libra sun 3H

Adrien is admired for his beauty; Libra rules venus the planet of love + beauty. With his rising in Leo, his Libra sun would be his chart ruler.

Personality wise he is diplomatic, peaceful, friendly and very flirty (as Chat) - Libras are known for their flirtatious and charming tendencies.

I’ve also noticed that Libra placements have a tendency to be oblivious to people being in love with them LMAOOO 😭

Sun in the 3H: Adrien is an extremely talented student. He knows many languages and excels academically in everything he does. The 3H is the house of Gemini ruled by mercury the planet of intelligence.

I would also give him a harsh sun-saturn aspect. Sun square or conjunct saturn.

Pisces moon 8H

The 8H rules over death and the moon represents the mother. This is in a literal sense because his mother (Emilie Agreste) died when he was young.

• He tends to be quite secretive with his emotions, the darker aspects of his life + with who he trusts. His emotions are very intense.

• Pisces moons tend to put others before themselves. Adrien is always complying with his fathers orders because he feels so much empathy for him. He has a lot of forgiveness for everyone around him too.

• We have witnessed how quickly Chat is willing to sacrifice/give up everything for Ladybug without hesitation and Pisces moons’ are extremely selfless.

• He’s a hopeless romantic and dreamer.

I would also give him a harsh moon-saturn aspect. Moon square or conjunct saturn.

Leo rising

With a Leo rising his chart ruler is his Libra sun. This explains his natural popularity.

Leo risings have Leo 1H meaning they attract a lot of attention wanted or unwanted.

As Chat, we really see the Leo rising aspect of him more — Self-confident, Dramatic, Playful, Prideful. But even as Adrien he has that sunny radiant disposition + smile like a Leo rising and he is extremely popular.

Libra mercury 3H

Mercury 3H: Similar description to Sun 3H except it emphasises his intelligence even more. With his mercury in it’s home house of Gemini this creates someone with an active, intelligent mind and many talents which he possesses.

Libra mercury’s are very diplomatic and Adrien wants to maintain harmony + peace. They also tend to be very flirty in their communication style which is evident as Chat.

• Adrien is indecisive and has trouble making decisions.

• Libra mercs come across as very friendly and welcoming

Leo venus 1H

Venus 1H gives a venus-like appearance and natural beauty. These people are admired for their beautiful appearance, kindness, magnetism, charm etc.

Chat is known for showing big displays of affection for LB and Leo venus’ do it grand. They are very giving and big hearted but get easily upset when that love + affection isn’t reciprocated.

This would give him Venus conjunct Ascendant.

Scorpio mars 4H

Mars in 4H explains his troubled home life. This placement can indicate a very strict upbringing + over protective parents, which Adrien has.

• He has a tendency to act upon his feelings.

• Mars in 4H can indicate a strict + aggressive father figure.

With his Mars in Scorpio he is passionate, emotional + intense. He demands honesty and doesn’t like secrets to be hidden from him.

• He can have extreme jealousy and possessiveness.

• Scorpio mars’ tend to be drawn to fierce + powerful personalities as their partners.

• Scorpio Mars espc in the 4H tend to have pent up anger and explode when angry (Shown often as Chat)

• 4H mars’ can be passive aggressive.

Taurus MC

Your MC sign represents your career. With his MC in Taurus, his career has venus-like qualities.

Since his Venus is 1H of appearance, this means his career would be good in the modelling industry and he is a model.

Jupiter 2nd house

I usually only do Sun-Mars but it’s clear that he has his Jupiter 2nd house.

Jupiter 2nd house can indicate a very wealthy upbringing as Jupiter is your luck and abundance and the 2nd house rules over money.

Many people with this placement are born into wealth.

——————————————————————————

Thank you for reading 🥰💕

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ptergwen · 3 years

Text

tastes like cherry

w/c: 2.7k

warnings: swearing, hints of cheating, and suggestive themes

summary: peter is into you, but you’re into mj... and peter

a/n: i love this concept even tho it’s unhealthy? let’s take it as a cautionary tale :D also this is my last full oneshot of the year!! i’ll do something quick tomorrow tho

━━━ ➳❥

“sorry, peter. i’m already going with mj.”

you shut your locker, revealing an oddly unphased peter behind it. he doesn’t understand what you mean.

the two of you make your way through the hall. you’re about to head some so you can get ready for liz’s party later. she told you about it first since you’re good friends. you asked mj to come this morning, which was liz’s idea. she’s been trying to set you two up for a while.

“ok, that’s fine. i’m sure she’ll understand if you-“ you cut him off before he gets too excited. “like, as a couple. she’s my date.” peter’s face falls.

you and mj? no offense to her, but he could never see you liking someone so... dry. he’s always pictured bubbly and sweet people to be more your speed. himself, for example.

“that’s,” peter clears his throat. “that’s cool.” you smile to yourself, thinking about spending the night with mj. he’s thinking about how he can show his support without sounding jealous. “since when did you, um, have a thing for her?” “i don’t know. liz helped me realize, honestly,” you nudge his arm.

“maybe you can hang out with her tonight.” peter turns to look at you like you’ve said the most insane thing ever. you’re already looking at him. it brings a blush to his cheeks, which you take as him liking her. you smirk and stop when you get to the doors.

“i... i don’t think that’s a good idea,” he decides with a nervous smile. “think about it more. see you later.” you push open one of the doors and skip outside. you’re already gone when he responds. “yeah, see you.”

he needs to come up with a plan, fast.

“dude, that’s rough,” ned can’t hold back a laugh at the story. peter is at his place, the two of them about to leave for the party. he told him what happened earlier in hopes of getting a second opinion. if he’d known ned would react like this, he would’ve kept it to himself.

“this isn’t funny, ned. i need help,” peter almost whines, flopping back on ned’s bed. ned is fixing his hair last minute. “i’m sorry, bro, but i don’t think y/n likes you that way,” he says sympathetically this time. peter sits up again. they both make eye contact in the mirror. “how do you know that?” “uh, she rejected you?”

puffing some air out of his cheeks, peter watches ned run a comb through his hair. the silence gives him time to reflect on your conversation. he suddenly remembers a key part of it.

“she only said no because she’s taking mj,” peter repeats, ned squinting at his friend’s reflection. “not because she doesn’t like me.” ned puts the comb down, satisfied with his look. he sighs and faces peter again. “it’s too late, dude. try again some other time.”

peter disregards everything he said and keeps plotting. he snaps when an idea comes to him. “all i have to do is get y/n alone for a while.” he looks up at ned with hopeful eyes. that can’t be good.

ned doesn’t approve of messing with your love life. he wishes peter could be just happy for you and move on. that being said, he is supposed to be peter’s wingman. he’d be a pretty terrible one by saying no to whatever he’s about to ask. he mentally apologizes to you before giving in.

“what am i gonna do?”

“can you distract mj for me?”

kids are still piling in when peter and ned arrive. they follow the line of people leading the way. it’s easy to forget how popular liz is because she does academic decathlon with all of you, the most uncool club midtown has to offer. this puts it in perspective.

liz is greeting people at the door. another reason she’s not your stereotypical popular girl is that she’s actually nice.

peter heads in first, ned behind him. her face lights up the second they step inside.

“what took you so long?” she playfully questions the two of them. “ned’s hair,” peter answers, earning a laugh from her. ned elbows his side. “it looks great, ned,” liz compliments him and winks at peter. “oh, thank you.” he tries to act humble about it by running a hand through the style.

peter peers over liz’s head to see if he can find you. he’d have to stand on his tiptoes to really make progress, so that’s done. liz still picks up on it.

“looking for someone?” she raises an eyebrow at him. ned shifts from one foot to the other uncomfortably. “um, do you know where y/n is?” peter clenches his jaw. “in the kitchen with mj. she told me you might wanna hang out tonight.” she’s sort of studying his face, widening her eyes. he averts his own to his feet.

“i should really find her. i’ll... i’ll catch up with you later.” his lips press into a forced smile. “come on, ned.” the two of them set off for the kitchen. ned tells her goodbye and follows peter, leaving liz standing there shocked.

“you could’ve been a little nicer, dude,” ned concludes from the encounter. they’re on their way to the kitchen. peter shrugs his shoulders with both eyebrows furrowed. “i wasn’t mean, though. i’m just, you know, busy.” “so is y/n.”

you’re laughing about something mj said, your arms tightening around her waist from behind. one of your hands has a drink in it. the other searches for hers. she laces your fingers together and rolls her eyes, probably calling you a dork. it’s in a loving way, unlike when she uses the same nickname on peter.

ned might be right. it seems like you’re having a really good time. who is peter to take that away from you? he’d rather you be snuggling up to him than mj, but what matters beyond anything is that you’re enjoying yourself. he should listen to you and spend some time with liz. she’s at least interested in him.

he completely changes his mind when your lips brush mj’s cheek. back to his plan.

“you’re here!” you announce as peter and ned enter the kitchen. mj nods her head at them. “thing one. thing two,” she greets, holding out her free hand to fistbump ned. “hey.” peter grins at you, then gives mj a slightly smaller one. she notices. he sticks his hands in his pockets.

“did you say hi to liz?” you check with your eyebrows raised in anticipation. ned answers for peter, who bites down on his lip. “they’re gonna hang out later.” mj snorts at the idea. “why would she ever wanna do that?” “because i told her to,” you sigh and glance at peter. he’s so stiff.

“and why would you do that?” mj deadpans, looking peter over. he glares back. he hates being talked about like he’s not there. ned forces out a laugh to clear some of the tension between them. you don’t realize any of this is happening.

“i mean, she set me up with you. i wanted to return the favor,” you explain and rest your chin on mj’s shoulder. her face softens. she tilts her head back to look at you with a smile. “aw,” ned coos and draws a heart around you two with his fingers.

he’s secretly rooting for you and mj.

peter points at the snack table, his eyes going from mj to you. “i’m gonna... get a drink.” “ooh, fun. i picked them out,” you beam at him. mj pulls you closer to her before he comes over. she’s not happy with the way he keeps looking at you. you’re not completely oblivious to it either. you just don’t know what to think of it.

you pick up your cup to take a sip of soda. peter has to pass by you to get his own. right as you bring yours to your lips, peter ‘accidentally’ knocks into you. the drink spills down the side of your dress. this is all part of his plan. you squeal and step away from mj.

mj hits peter’s arm with the back of her hand. “idiot. look what you did to my date.” she only refers to you as her date so he’ll take the hint and back off. he ignores her and tends to you instead, a frown on his lips.

“i’m so sorry, y/n. i didn’t mean to-“ “it’s fine. ned, can you hand me a napkin?” you do your best not to let your frustration show.

he goes to get one off the counter. peter turns to him and mouthes ‘don’t’ before he gets the chance. ned mouthes ‘why not?’ back. peter says ‘because i said so.’ their silent conversation doesn’t go unnoticed by mj. she huffs and pushes past peter. “what the fuck, i’ll get it.”

peter gives him a look that says to do something. panicking, ned pushes the stack of napkins onto the floor. they all end up scattered around.

everyone waits for him to address it. “oops,” he chokes out. “you’re both idiots,” mj grumbles, getting onto the floor to pick them up. this should keep her distracted for a while. things are falling into place.

“i’m gonna see if i can borrow something from liz,” you tell the three of them in an exhale. peter rushes to your side. “do you need help with your dress?”

not sure what to say, you look over at mj. her and ned are busy cleaning up. she probably won’t mind. “this is my fault. i feel bad,” peter continues on.

you leave your empty cup on the snack table and nod. “come with me.”

you bring peter up to liz’s room and shut the door behind you. he has to bite back a smile while you search through her drawers for new clothes. sorry to liz, looks like the two of you are spending the night together now.

your change of clothes ends up on the bed. it’s only a t-shirt and jeans. you’re actually kind of bummed about your dress because you bought it specifically for tonight. not that mj would ever care what you wear, but you felt like dressing up. a few compliments from her wouldn’t hurt, though. she’s not the best in that area.

“can you unzip me?” you ask peter, eyeing him over your shoulder. he’s quick to come up behind you. he puts a hand on your lower back. his other slowly tugs the zipper down. “this is cute,” he murmurs, swiping his thumb over the material of your dress. the feeling and his words give you goosebumps.

“sorry i kind of ruined it.” “are you?” you’re only teasing. peter answers seriously, his voice lower than usual. “no.” you take a step forward when he finishes with the zipper. “it did feel pretty staged to me. you’re not that clumsy.” there’s emphasis on ‘that.’ he hums in a rather suggestive way. you face him again.

the back of your dress gets left open. peter’s eyes trail down your body, his hands not quite leaving it yet.

you’ve always seen him as this harmless, infinitely nice guy. he’s almost too nice for you. it’s why you never considered him as more than a friend. mj has an edge to her, and you like that. peter might have an edge, too.

this new side of him is starting to make you rethink his spot in the friend zone. you feel like you might be rushing into things with mj. should you really have taken liz’s advice? or, should you have came with peter?

“why’d you do it?” your gaze shifts down to his lips. he moves closer to you. that inspires you to take another step back. “i had to get you away from mj.” “she’s my date,” you say unconvincingly and keep walking backwards. peter follows until you end up against the wall.

it’s the perfect spot for him to corner you in. so, he does.

his arms are on either side of the wall behind you. he leans his head down. your faces are dangerously close to each other. your mouths are dangerously close to each other, too.

“you’re... you’re supposed to be with liz,” you breathe out. peter brings a hand up to caress your cheek. “she probably has better things to do.”

it’s almost impossible not to give in to his touch. his fingers run over your skin gently, contradicting the intense way his eyes stare into yours. you lean your cheek in the palm of his hand. you’re still having doubts.

“well, i’m supposed to be with mj,” you try to remind the both of you.

peter considers it for a moment. you two definitely shouldn’t be doing this. the selfish side of his brain takes over then. it’s not like you and mj made it official yet.

“supposed to be doesn’t mean you want to,” he rasps, his thumb moving down to your lower lip. he runs it across. you watch him with hooded eyes. as much as you crave his lips on yours, it wouldn’t be fair to mj. you care about them both.

“what if she’s looking for me?” your voice is just above a whisper. “ned has it covered,” he reassures you. “we’re okay.” we. you really like the way that sounds.

you’re not sure what’s going on with your head or your heart right now. all you know is that you want, no, need peter to kiss you. you’d never forgive yourself if you let the chance pass you by.

“you thought of everything,” you remark, winding one of your arms around his neck. peter’s breath fans over your face. he grabs your waist, you pushing your body flush against his. there isn’t an inch of space between you two. “because i like you, y/n.”

“i like you, too,” you finally admit to yourself and peter. your lips are so close to his they’re ghosting. “but, i also like mj.” his fingers press into your side. “can we worry about that after we kiss?” a grin crosses your face. “good idea.”

peter lets his lips land properly on yours, both of you melting into the kiss. this already feels so right even though it isn’t. he sighs in content and drops a hand down to your hip. you use your hand on his neck to deepen the kiss, your head against the wall.

he pulls you up by your hips, signaling for you to jump. your legs wrap around his middle while he snakes his around your waist again. he’s easily holding you while his lips attack yours.

“shit, you’re so strong,” you giggle into his mouth, an airy laugh escaping him. “think so?” peter kisses over to your cheek. one of your dress straps falls down your shoulder. you leave it. his lips kiss their way back to yours, getting messier with each one. you give him a lazy smile. he pecks your lips one more time, softly.

“you taste like cherry,” peter mumbles, now moving down to your chin. it’s shiny from where your lip gloss smeared. “cherry coke. the one you spilled on me,” you explain with a scoff. he keeps kissing down the center of your neck, his fingers tugging at the end of your dress.

“wonder what else tastes like cherry.” he’s half joking and half serious. actually, more serious. you gasp and tilt your head to the side more. you can feel him smirking while his lips dance across your skin. “peter, i can’t believe you of all people would say that.” “i’m full of surprises,” he hums, sucking a little too hard on one spot.

it’s hot having him take control like this, but this isn’t the time or place for a hickey.

“wait, i don’t want mj to see.” that’s the least of your problems. still, it’s a very big one. it comes right after choosing between which one of your friends you like more. you’re so screwed.

“alright. let’s do something else,” peter suggests, tightening his grip around your waist. he carries you over to liz’s bed. you giggle into his ear and throw your other arm around his neck. he drops you right next to your change of clothes, which you forgot about. they’re the whole reason you’re up here.

there’s a lot to unpack in this situation. you’re in your best friend’s room making out with her crush, while your sort of girlfriend has no fucking clue where you went.

good thing peter and his kisses are here to distract you from it all.

#tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker smut #peter parker fluff #peter parker fic #marvel #spiderman #michelle jones x reader #michelle jones #tom holland x reader

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peralta-guaranteed · 3 years

Note

hc’s of mac and maya & both sets of grandparents and maybe their different “parenting style” i can see karen and roger being more laid back than camila and victor

I think you've forgotten the third set of grandparents! :D

Karen & Roger

- Karen is extremely supportive of Jake and especially Amy's parenting, trying not to do anything they wouldn't do, but she also can't help spoiling her only grandchildren!! Especially if they show interest in things she loves, such as art, she'll always go the extra length to encourage them and buys them crafting material and takes them to exhibitions (most of them age appropriate). She's also the main babysitter because she always offers and they know that despite her chaotic ways, they can definitely depend on her. (Although Jake has had to lay some ground rules to prevent things he remembers from his childhood, like way too much TV) She loves being the quintessential grandma, baking cookies with them and teaching them how to cook, sew, etc. She also teaches them a lot about judaism and jewish culture, just so they know about their heritage, and Amy loves it and sometimes asks for a little lesson herself.

- (and damn it's hard for me to write anything positive about Roger, but I will try) Roger is being very, very careful with Mac&Maya. He's been given a clear ultimatum by Jake before Mac was even born - mess up and you're out. Doesn't matter if you still live with Mom, doesn't matter if you apologise. The kids are gonna know you as Pops, because you haven't earned Grandpa yet, and you can lose Pops just as quickly and become Roger, is that clear? And so he tries to be as kind and unproblematic as possible. He wouldn't dare tell Jake or Amy how to parent their kids, and he also doesn't dare overspoiling them or being too crazy with them for fear of 'messing up' with it. But he'll join in with the games when Karen is babysitting, and he's even proven that he can change diapers and do bathtime and feed them well enough, because he did do that with Jake too, the whole abandonment thing came a few years later (which Jake is still waiting for with baited breath with Mac&Maya, but luckily it never comes)

Camila & Victor

- Camila is a great mom, in the end, and a great grandma, and she's also got the most experience under her belt what with 8 kids and even more grandchildren, so Jake + Amy do turn to her with questions sometimes. But she's also the one who will push her opinion on them the most, and Mac&Maya live by her rules if they are at her house, which makes for some troubles whenever they get back home (they do end up being a lot more orderly and clean though after a stay at abuela's, Jake has to admit). She's also the one who will encourage them the most in their academic life, helping teach them letters and numbers long before kindergarten ever covers that, training them in Spanish so they become fluent, etc. Amy only ever steps in when she notices it's going into too much of a pressure thing that she remembers too well, but luckily it's much softer than it was with her. The one time Camila tried to stage a kind of competition between all the cousins, Amy positively lost her shit at her for the first time in her life, aided by her brother Matteo who doesn't even have kids yet. She also makes sure that they learn about Cuban culture and their family's roots, much like Karen does with her Jewish background, and is very proud of Jake who's still learning Spanish for them (and with them, basically) and has definitely asked Amy to explain all the things they talk about whenever they come home from abuela und abuelo.

- Victor is the most reserved of all the grandparents, but he does love them dearly. He had to get used to them looking so much like Jake (most of the Santiago g-kids ended up looking like... well, Santiagos), but he's absolutely in love with Maya's curly head and her bright eyes and generally, just Maya. She's only his second granddaughter (the Santiabro genes are strong), and she's his little girl's little girl, and he did maybe cry a little bit the first time he held her just hours after she was born. But he loves Mac just as much, and there's so much of his Amy in both of them, and he really enjoys replaying the same things he played with her when she was little. He bought both of them little pendants from a Cuban jeweller for their birth (which made Amy cry quite a bit), and has sworn to protect them from absolutely anything that could endanger them. And he's insanely proud whenever they accomplish a new milestone that Amy tells him about - he's sure at least one of them, if not both, is going to become a brilliant doctor, or something equally important.

Holt & Kevin

- it took Holt a few years to come to term with the idea that he does kind of think of Jake as a son, but it took him literally 5 seconds after being handed newborn Mac to realise he's a grandpa now and that's never going to change. He's still aloof and socially cold as he always is, but he definitely softens around Mac&Maya, and has done more than enough research to know how to talk to children of all ages now so he doesn't confuse them or scare them somehow. He doesn't, however, let them get away with anything their dad got away with for way too long. They behave during visits at the precinct mostly only because they know Grampa Holt is there. And they certainly know how to behave at his house whenever they're over for babysitting or just a visit. But there is also a very clearly defined play area for them, both in the living room and the garden, and he bought a swing set for them as soon as Mac was old enough, and he's got a whiteboard and grade school teacher's books as soon as Amy mentioned that they're looking for a tutor for them...

- Kevin never wanted kids, or a bigger family than just Raymond and Cheddar. But then Mac and especially Maya showed up. He likes having Mac over for babysitting, he has to admit that, and he became quite enarmoured with the little boy that looks so much like the detective he used to hate and has grown strangely fond of through their many adventures together. He even told him bedtime stories about those adventures sometimes. (And when he starts being interested in greek mythology as a pre-teen, he's over the moon and joins in Holt's tutoring immediately to make sure he gets the right information from the start) But then Maya came along, and something just clicked. No one knows why, or how, least of all he himself, but Kevin and Maya are a thing. They connected from the get-go in ways no one else ever understood. He also pushes Holt to be a bit more open and less strict with them, arguing that he should 'let loose' with his grandchildren a bit more than he would with his kids Amy+Jake. His husband is never going to turn into the 'fun grandpa' by any means, but he can definitely make some hilarious memories with them that that neither Santiago nor Peralta would really believe if they weren't shown photographic proof once in a while.

#b99 #brooklyn 99 #jake peralta #amy santiago #peraltiago #headcanons #mac peralta #maya peralta #raymond holt #kevin cozner #captain dad

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atlafan · 4 years

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The Real Him - One Shot

a/n: I’m not sure where this came from...a lot of this is sort of how I feel about writing, and reading, and how my brain works???? Hope you enjoy cause it’s fun! Book Writer!Harry x Y/N (not proofread)

Words: 9.6K

Warnings: Fluff, wee bit of angst, and smut

Books weren’t things Y/N found interesting. She hated reading the assigned books in high school for whatever English classes she had to take. She often would just read what she needed on Sparknotes, and that was enough. Then, in college, even if she wanted to read for leisure, she didn’t have the time. She had to read articles and academic journals constantly. By the time she was done for the day, the last thing she wanted to do was read.

Now, as a young adult living in the city, she noticed her anxiety was always worse at night. She lived alone in a little studio apartment, it had a wonderful view. She would watch TV or scroll on her phone until she fell asleep, but the screens were too much for her eyes. She knew it wasn’t good for her. Much to her friends’ shock, she texted them asking them for book recommendations. Y/N didn’t want to think too hard, she didn’t like scary stories, but she also liked a little bit of world building and romance. Fuck, if there was anything she loved, it was a good romance. Her friends told her about this young author they discovered whose stories were enthralling.

She took their word for it, and ordered one of his books off his website. He was self-published, which she found to be interesting. How good could he be if a major publication didn’t want him? She trusted her friends’ opinions though, so she went with it. He had this series called, The Unicorn in the Farmer’s Pool, that they raved about. She told herself she’d start with the first one and see how it goes. Sometimes Y/N had a hard time concentrating to even read a book, so she didn’t want to buy too many.

The title of the book itself was odd, but when she read the description she understood. Apparently, it was about this young woman, new to town, who was going for a walk with her younger sister, and one day they come across this beautiful old home and large farm. There was a pool in the back with one of those big unicorn floats, which they both found odd. They see the farmer outside, and the woman inquires about it. He explains that it’s his daughter’s. He and his wife were divorced, and she moved out to the city. Unfortunately, she passed away, so his little girl came home to live with him.

It was a certified slow burn, so when it came in the mail, Y/N couldn’t wait to get her hands on it. There was only one picture of the author, Harry Styles, on his website. The book, however, had a lovely picture of him on it. He even named his publication company after himself, trademarking HES Books. He was handsome, there was no denying that.

“Alright, let’s see how well this guy knows how to write thing from the perspective of a woman.” She says as she settles into her bed with the book.

For the first time in a long time, Y/N found a book that she just couldn’t put down. Sure, she passed out with it on her chest, but she’d get right back to it the next night. She was ripping through it. Her heart would race anytime the farmer and the woman had a scene together. She cried when he spoke about his divorce, and how he never slept knowing his daughter was so far away. He’d never wish his ex-wife ill, but he felt like it was fate to have his daughter home. He’d give her anything she wanted, even a giant unicorn float for the pool. Something she couldn’t have in the city. His daughter would paint his nails glittery colors, and he didn’t give a shit what anyone else thought of it. Y/N could feel her heart pounding as the woman slowly fell for him. They became fast friends but it was clear they wanted more, but they were both so scared.

“Oh, you son of a bitch.” She says to herself when she gets to the end of the book, it was a cliffhanger. They hadn’t even gotten together yet. They were caught in a rain storm, about to kiss, but they were interrupted. “Goddammit.” She groans and grabs her laptop to buy the rest of the series. “Welp, Mr. Styles, you now own my ass, I hope you’re happy.” She sticks her tongue out at his picture on his website.

By the time she finished the third book, she was inconsolable. It thrilling, but she knew it couldn’t be the end for the two who were now so in love with each other. She also couldn’t believe how well written their love scenes were, a little shocked there was a small dash of smut. She looked on his website and saw he was set to release the fourth and final book of the series soon, and there would be a big release for it. He would do a reading and signing. Y/N texted her friends and they all agreed they needed to go. They still couldn’t believe how much Y/N liked the series. It consumed her soul, she couldn’t get enough. She even bought his other standalone novels to read until the release.

Eliza: hey! HES just released the first book on audio, and he narrates it! Should hold us over until the release ;)

Y/N: holy fucking shit! Literally about to go download it, thanks!!!

Now this was a way to fall asleep, she thought. She plugged her earbuds into her phone, turned her light off, and hit play. She gasps the second she hears his voice.

“He’s British?!” She says to herself. “Dear god.”

His voice was deep and sultry, and sounded incredibly crisp through the audio. Each night for the rest of that week, she fell asleep to the sound of Harry’s voice; it was euphoric. She felt sort of weird for becoming as big of a fan of him that she was. It was like she was in high school again having a crush on some unattainable celebrity. She couldn’t even talk about him to anyone at work. It was like this big secret between her and her friends. Instead of listening to music in her office, she started listening to interviews or podcasts he was involved in. Anything to just get a better understanding for who he was or how his mind worked. She found that he was incredibly private, only tweeting or posting on Instagram from promotional purposes. A PR person most likely running the sites for him.

“Okay, I think I’m obsessed with him, like, it’s bad.” She tells her friends at brunch one Saturday morning. They would all try their best to get together a couple times a month.

“Welcome to the dark side.” Eliza says.

“I knew if we didn’t push you that you’d come around at some point to ask us for a book rec.” Melinda says.

“You could have just showed me his picture, he’s so handsome! I can’t wait to go to the signing. I wonder what type of suit he’ll wear. Maybe all black?”

“I heard he’s into florals lately.” Eliza says. “I’m glad we got our tickets when we did, it’s going to be packed.”

“Yeah, like, at least we’ll have seats for the reading.” Melinda says.

“I can’t believe we’re going to hear his voice in person. That audio book? Oh my god.” She pretends to fan herself. “I’ve been enjoying his other novels too. He has such a way with words, I can’t remember the last time I actually enjoyed a book this much. Maybe The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?” She chuckles.

“Didn’t you read that in high school?!” Eliza laughs.

“Yeah!” Y/N laughs, and Melinda joins in. “I fucking hate reading. I wonder if he’ll ever sell the rights and have it turned into a movie or TV series.”

“People have been begging him. He said maybe once the fourth book has been out for a bit. He didn’t want to feel pressured, like, you know how with Game of Thrones the books didn’t come out fast enough for the series?” Melinda says.

“Oh yeah, that makes sense. I think a TV show would be good. Then they could take their time with it. The only thing is I can’t picture someone playing the farmer other than him.” Y/N sighs.

“Agreed.” Eliza says. “I can really only see him.”

“So, how are we dressing for the signing? I don’t wanna look desperate by dressing up too much.” Melinda says.

“Melinda…” Y/N starts chuckling. “You have a girlfriend.”

“I’m aware.” She swats a hand at Y/N. “But damn, Harry is too fine.”

Y/N curls the ends of her hair on the day of the signing. It was finally here, and she couldn’t be more excited. She found a cute yellow top to wear with some high waist jeans. She does some simple makeup, but makes sure to have her eyes pop. The rules were that people could only bring one book with them, so she grabs the first in the Unicorn series. She fully intended to buy the new book as well, and they said he would sign all new purchases too.

She meets Melinda and Eliza outside the bookstore where it would all be happening. They get in line to buy their new books, and head to their seats. They were able to snag tickets for the second row. He would be reading the first few chapters of the first book, and then would spend the rest of the time signing books.

“I’m so excited.” Y/N whispers to both of her friends.

A man comes out shortly to check the crowd of people waiting, and soon it’s announced that Harry would be coming out. Everyone stands up and claps for him. He was wearing a sleek black suit, and his hair was pushed back off his face. He looked bashful as he smiled out to everyone, and stood at the podium provided. Everyone sits back down as he clears his throat.

“Thank you all so much for being here. Whether you’re a new fan or if you’ve been with me for years, I appreciate your support. It feels surreal for this series to be over. I’ve loved these characters so much, and when I finished the final edits, it felt weird saying goodbye. I also want to say thanks for all the support with the first audio book. I fully intend to do one for the rest, it just takes a lot of time and editing, so hold tight for me, alright?” The crowd giggles, and his dimple grows deeper. He takes a sip of the water provided, and opens the book. “Let’s get started shall we?” He looks up at the audience who was waiting patiently. He makes eye contact with Y/N. It’s brief, but he looked at her…or at least she told herself he did.

His voice was just as smooth in person as it was on the audio. Y/N was swooning, barely paying attention to the words, but more so watching the way his lips moved. The way he’d lick his lips after getting a sip of water, and watching his Adam’s apple bob up and down. It all felt like a dream. He ended up reading five chapters instead of three, as a treat, until his manager came out to remind him to wrap it up.

“Right, well, I’ve been told I’m done speaking.” He chuckles. “I just need about ten minutes and I’ll be able to sign all your books. Thanks so much!”

He leaves as everyone claps for him again. Everyone gets in line and waits for him to return. There was a table waiting for him to sit at and a ton of markers.

“I wonder how long we’ll get with him. Like, a minute, right?” Eliza asks.

“Make every second count.” Y/N says.

“I’m gonna try to take a selfie.” Melinda says. “Then I’ll really remember it forever.”

As the girls got closer to the front of the line, Y/N felt herself getting nervous, and her palms were starting to sweat. She tries to wipe them on her jeans before she gets to him.

“Hello, love.” He smiles at her. “Whatcha bring f’me?”

“Huh?” She was so taken aback.

“Well, I know you didn’t come here to have me sign a body part…unless you did.” He shrugs. “Although, I don’t think my manager would appreciate that.” He winks at her and it makes her giggle.

“I have the first back, and the newest one.” She hands them both to him. “I have to say, I’m not really a big reader, but this really drew me in. I think I’ve fallen in love with reading for the first time in my life.”

“That’s like…I mean…wow, what a compliment, thanks.” He signs both of the books. “What’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

“Y/N.” He repeats as he continues to leave a nice note in both of her books. “You know pictures aren’t allowed, but if you turn around and happen to take a selfie they can’t stop you.” He points to the few guards.

Y/N turns around and takes a selfie with Harry. She turns back around and chuckles as she takes her books back.

“Thank you so much. I can’t wait for the next audio books.”

“You liked the first one?”

“Loved it.”

“So, it wasn’t weird listening to me for that long?”

“Not at all…” She starts blushing. “Your voice is sort of, um, soothing…I have a lot of anxiety at night, and, well, reading, and evening listening has helped me sleep a lot better. So, thanks again.” She smiles at him and he smiles back.

He wished he could hug her. He looks back at his manager, who just sighs at him and nods. Harry stands up from the table and walks around. Before she knew it, his arms were being wrapped around her. She got a whiff of his cologne, and she swore it was her new favorite smell in the world. She barely got a chance to put her hands on him before his manager said it was enough and Harry needed to get back to it.

“Sorry, that was just so endearing.” He lets go of her and sits back down. “Thanks for your support.”

Y/N steps aside and looks at her friends who were waiting for her to finish up. She looks back at Harry who was already talking to the next person. She sighs, knowing she was long forgotten already.

“Oh my god, I took a picture of him hugging you.” Eliza says. “What was it like? All he did was shake my hand.”

“He smelled so good.” Y/N whines. “Girls, let’s go out for drinks tonight. I need to get some energy out.”

“Great idea! We can drink and then dance the night away.” Melinda says. “What did he write in your books?”

“I don’t wanna look yet, I wanna save it.” Y/N smiles and holds her books close to her.

After grabbing dinner and dropping their books off at Y/N’s place, they all head to their favorite dance bar. They all get their drinks and stand near the bar to drink them. Y/N was happily sucking on her straw, swaying along to the fast beat of the music.

“Look, they actually roped off the VIP section.” Eliza points out. Y/N and Melinda turn to look.

“I wonder who’s here. Once in a while someone cool shows up.” Melinda says.

The group in the VIP section erupts into laughter, and the girls’ eyes grow wide. Harry was standing up from the booth, looking much more casual. He still had his dress pants and button up on, but his sleeves were pushed up, revealing his tattoos. He strides up to the bar as he shakes his head back at his friends. He brushes right by the girls, bumping into Y/N, causing her to spill her drink.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, love.” He says to her, and then he looks her up and down. “Do I know you?” He slurs slightly.

“Um…we…we met earlier today. You signed my books.”

“I signed your what?!” The music was really loud, he must have thought she said something else.

“Books, books!” She really enunciates the k sound.

“Oh!” He bursts out laughing, and puts a hand on her shoulder. “I was gonna say, that sorta thing isn’t really my style. What are you drinking, I’ll get you a new one.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. There’s still plenty in here.”

“Don’t be silly, I feel terrible. In fact,” He looks at Melinda and Eliza, and then to the bar tender. “Their next round’s on me. I also need another bottle of Patron for my table.”

“Coming right up!”

“Lost a bet with ‘em.” He rolls his eyes. “So the next bottle’s on me.” He shrugs.

“We’ll bring it over to you.” The bar tender says as she puts up three new drinks for you and your friends.

“You really didn’t have to do that.”

“S’the least I can do. Your support is the only reason why I can afford what I have. I should buy your drinks all night.” He smirks.

“Y/N.” Melinds grabs her shoulders and whispers in her ear. “Go for it, bitch, go for it. He’s hitting on you. We’ll be over there.”

She lets Y/N go and drags Eliza with her over to another part of the bar. Y/N grabs her drink and smiles at Harry.

“Your name’s Y/N, right?”

“You must have seen hundreds of people today, how’d you remember?”

“I’m really good with names.” He grins. “Do you want to join me and my friends?”

“What?!”

“Come on, seems like your friends are busy anyways.” He nods over to Melinda and Eliza where Melinda was working as a wing-man for Eliza. “They’re bringing over the Patron, you’ll love it.” He grabs her wrist and brings her over. One of the body guards raises his eyebrows. “I’m baacckk, let us in Mike.” Mike lifts the rope up and lets Harry and Y/N in. “Everyone this is Y/N, she’s got to be one of my biggest fans, so she’s joining us.” He pulls her down into the booth with him and puts his arm around her shoulders.

He was drunk, this was very clear. No one seemed bothered by her presence. Everyone was just happy to have refills for their drinks. Harry takes a shot of the Patron along with everyone else as Y/N sips on her drink. She felt bad, Eliza had to be a bigger fan of Harry, or at least she had been a fan longer…

“So, how’d you know he’d be here?” Harry’s manager, Jeff, asks.

“I didn’t.” She blushes. “My friends and I come here all the time.”

“Right, like we haven’t heard that one before.” Jeff smirks. “Some of you fangirls-“

“Oi! Don’t make fun, she’s cool.” Harry defends her.

“I can prove I’ve been here plenty of times.” Y/N takes her phone out and shows them her Facebook page. “There, you can see how many times I’ve checked in here. I only live a block away, so this tends to be the spot.”

“See, Jess, this is the spot.” Harry smirks, and knocks back another shot. “We’re being rude, here.” He slides a shot over to her. “Have as much as you like.”

“That’s okay, I have this.” She points to her glass.

“Oh, I knew I liked you, you’re so nice.” He pulls her a little closer to him. “But really, if you want any, you can have as much as you want, okay?”

“Thanks.”

Y/N sort of just sits there and tries to listen as each person talks, but the music was so loud, and she was itching to dance, especially now that she had a couple of drinks in her. She was drumming her fingers mindlessly on the table.

“Do you want to dance?” He whispers in her ear. A shiver goes up her spine. She looks up at him and nods. “Alright, let’s hit it then.”

She gets out of the booth and he quickly follows her out to the dance floor. At first it’s just light and playful, he keeps one hand in hers, but keeps a respectable distance. If Y/N was dancing with her friends right now she’d probably be popping her ass no problem. She sort of wished they were still around. She couldn’t remember the last time she danced with a guy. She looks at him and feels a little bold, so she hooks an arm around his neck and dances close to him. His hands move to her hips as she essentially grinds on his thigh. When the next song starts, she turns around to grind her ass against his pelvis. He presses forward against her and she can tell he’s very happy to be dancing with her.

“You said your place was only a block away?” He says into her ear, and she nods. “Wanna head there?”

She stops dancing and turns around to face him.

“Are you serious?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“Sorry, too forward?”

“No…I just…um…yeah, let’s go back to mine.”

He smiles and throws his arm around her shoulders. He looks over at Jeff who was still sitting with their friends. He waves off to him, and heads out side with Y/N. Harry whistles for a cab, and one pulls up almost right away. They both get into the backseat, and Y/N gives the driver her address. Harry rubs circles into her shoulder. She rests her hand on his knee, as her leg shakes with nerves.

“You alright, love?”

“Mhm, yeah.” She doesn’t look at him.

“No need to be nervous, babe, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

She looks up at him now and smiles. She wanted to do everything with him. It was like every fantasy she had was coming to life. She had dreams about this, but never thought it would come true. The cab pulls up in front of Y/N’s building and they both get out of the cab. She keys into the front door and she leads him to the elevator.

“I’m surprised you’re not exhausted, must be draining to meet so many people.”

“Caught a second wind.” He winks at her. She giggles as they get off at her floor.

She leads him inside as she flips the lights on.

“It’s just a studio.”

“It’s nice, just enough space. You’ve got a great view.” He says as he walks over to the window.

“Yeah, I got really lucky.”

“Mind if I pull the curtains?”

“Not at all.”

She watches the muscles in his back flex as he reaches to pull the curtains closed. He turns to face her and walks over to where she is. He cups one of her cheeks and she leans into his touch.

“I have to be honest, I don’t usually do this.” He says.

“Do what? Hook up with a girl from a bar?” She smirks.

“No, hook up with a fan…” He sighs. “But what you said to me earlier about your anxiety and how my books have helped you, it stuck with me all day. I’m really glad I ran back into you. I got kinda nervous when you didn’t message me.”

“What? Why would I have?”

“I wrote my number in your book.” He lets go of her and steps back. “You didn’t read my notes?”

“No, I…I was saving them for when I was feeling down.” She admits, a little embarrassed. “Why did you put your number in it?”

“In case you ever needed someone to talk to…if you ever got sick of listening to the same story over and over. It was a little impulsive, but no one’s ever said anything like that to me before.”

“I’m surprised by that.”

“Usually people just tell me that they enjoyed it, or they try to flirt or something. It’s usually pretty hollow.” He shrugs. “But you…” He takes her hands in his. “Well…if you noticed, I didn’t really hug anyone else.”

“I did notice. You made me feel really special, Harry.”

“I’d like to keep making you feel that way…”

He releases her hands, and she wraps her arms around his neck. Her hands slide up through his curls, and she gets up on her tip toes while his arms wrap around her waist, pulling her close. His lips brush over hers, and she pulls his face closer to hers to deepen the kiss. She smiles against his lips which makes him smile and pull back.

“What is it?”

“I just…I can’t believe this is happening…” She presses her hips closer to his.

“You’ve thought about this before, with me?”

She nods her head yes and he smirks.

“Is that weird?” She asks, cheeks heating up from embarrassment.

“Who am I to judge what helps someone fall asleep at night?” His voice was low now, eyes darker than they were moments before.

Maybe this wasn’t something either of them should be doing while inebriated. But from lack of better judgement they start kissing again. His hands slide down to cup her ass, and his large hands give her a squeeze. She groans into his mouth, giving him the perfect excuse to lick into her. Her tongue molds to his, and she starts pushing him to walk back towards her bed. He happily lets her lead the way.

The back of his calves hit the bed, and he almost loses his balance. He sits down and brings her with him so she’s straddling his lap. Lips only breaking for a moment to get some air until they’re on each other again. Her hands lace through his hair and he groans when she tugs on him. His lips move to her jaw and then to just under her ear. She gasps when she feels him suck on the tender skin. Her hips roll down over his, and he smirks against her. He licks over the spot he was sucking on, and goes back for more. She grinds herself against him, feeling his bulge press up against where she needs it most. His lips move back to hers so he can nip at her bottom lip before looking at her.

“You want this?” He asks.

“Wouldn’t have said yes to coming back here if I didn’t.”

“You could have changed your mind between the bar and now.” He tucks some loose strands of hair behind her hair. “I meant what I said earlier, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“I want to, do you?”

“I certainly didn’t change my mind.”

She smiles and leans in to kiss him again before getting off him. She reaches behind him quickly to snag one of her throw pillows to put on the floor. She sits up on her knees before him and reaches for his for the button on his dress pants. She looks up at him as he widens his legs for her. He wasn’t expecting a blow job, but he wasn’t one to turn it down. She pops the button and undoes his zipper. She reaches into his pants and palms him through his boxers first. His palms were flat on the bed, his arms keeping him up, but he can’t help but let his head fall back from her touch.

“Harry, look at me.”

He immediately does as she says so he can make eye contact with her.

“Is this okay? Can I take it out?”

“Yeah, please.”

She smiles and tugs his pants and boxers down slightly, he lifts his hips up to help her. He unbuttons his shirt while his dick slaps up against his lower stomach. She gazes up at him. Once his shirt is off, she can’t help but look over all his tattoos.

“You’re so…pretty.” She chuckles.

“Not as pretty as you.” He runs his hands through her hair, giving her a little encouragement to get started.

She blushes as her eyes fall to his hard cock, tip swollen and ready to go. She licks her right hand and gives him a few pumps first. He grunts as he watches her. She licks a stripe up from his base to his tip before she wraps her lips around him. His eyes flutter closed for a second, but he didn’t want to miss anything so he does his best to keep his eyes open to watch her work on him. She already had small droplets of spit rolling down her chin. Sloppy, he thinks to himself and he smirks. She sinks a little further down on him, testing herself to see how much she can take. He thrusts up slightly to meet her halfway and she gags on him, needing to pop off for a moment.

“Sorry, been a while.” She mumbles, and gets back on him.

“No worries, doing great, love.”

He helps keep her hair back as she starts to bob up and down on him. Her warm mouth felt so fucking good around him. She swallows around him before really hollowing her cheeks to suck on him. Her mouth moves up to his tip so she can lick away at his slit. She wraps a hand around him to pump him as she does this.

“Baby, baby, hold on.” He pants, and moves her face away from him. She looks up at him with big, innocent eyes that were slightly watery now. “I’ll come if you keep doing that.” He sounded almost out of the breath. She nods and stands up. His hands grips her hips and then slide to the button on her own jeans. “You’re sure?”

“Yes.” She says, taking off her shirt. He looks up at her and kisses on her chest as he undoes her pants.

He yanks them down her legs. He smiles at her mismatched set of underwear. She had worn a white bra with her yellow shirt, and a simple pair of blue panties with her jeans.

“I didn’t think, um, I would be…it was a girl’s night, and-“

“Do you really think I care about your underwear not matching?” He raises an eyebrow at her as he smirks.

She smiles and rests her hands on his shoulders as he kisses on her lower tummy. He stands up to kick his pants away, and lets her get on the bed. She lays on her back, propping herself up with her elbows. He crawls onto the bed and settles between her legs. His lips find hers as he grinds himself against her covered center. She bites her bottom lip, just wanting her underwear gone. He reaches behind her to unhook her bra. After a few seconds of fumbling he gets it, and watches the bra loosen around her. She pushes it off her shoulders, and tosses it to the ground. His hands cup her full breasts immediately. He kneads them and tweaks her nipples. She grinds her hips up towards his as they continue to move against each other. He dips his head down to kiss on her chest, and he rolls a nipple between his teeth. He works his way down her body and slides her underwear down her legs, tossing them aside where he feels like. She parts her legs for him.

He dips his down and licks from her center to her clit. He does this slowly but with precision. Her hips buck up towards him, encouraging him to keep going, so he does. He licks all around her until his lips are around her throbbing clit. He nibbles and sucks and flicks his tongue while his fingers explore her folds. Her hands were in his hair. She kept thinking she was going to wake up. Any minute now she would snap out of her dream. She would pinch her eyes closed and expect to see the morning sun creeping through her windows, but not this time. When she opened her eyes there he was, head between her legs, lapping away at her. The clouds covering the moon and night sky. He had her whimpering and tugging at his hair. He wanted her to come, but not yet, just get her to the brink. She pouts at him when he lifts his head. He licks his lips and smiles at her.

“Got any rubbers?”

“Mhm, in the bathroom, I can-“

“I got it, just tell me where.”

“The box in the cabinet below the sink.”

He pecks her lips before going into her little bathroom. He smirked to himself wondering how he might shower the next morning. He was taller than the showerhead. He bends down to open up the cabinet and spots the box of condoms. It was opened, but not many were missing. Not the he was one to judge. Harry hooked up a lot. He grabs a couple, just in case they feel like getting frisky again later on, and heads back out. He rips the foil packet open and slides it on over his length. She bites her bottom lip in anticipation.

“Tell me something,” He starts as he gets back on the bed, between her legs, hovering over her body. “When you had me in your thoughts was it ever like this?”

He rubs his tip against her clit, getting her to moan out. He pushes into her entrance but doesn’t go much further until he gets his answer. His eyebrows were raised, looking at her.

“This is usually the part when I’d wake up.” She whispers. “Before anything good could really happen.” She cups his cheek and runs her thumb over his cheekbone. “Please.”

He kisses her as he pushes the rest of the way inside her. They both groan. She was so wet, even with the condom on, it still felt amazing. He was nice and snug inside her. He moves slowly at first to not hurt her. He hooks an arm under one of her legs to bring it up a little higher. He wanted to get in as deep as possible. She clutches at his shoulders as he drives it in.

“Oh my god.” She gasps as his tip brushes her g-spot. “Jesus Christ.” She grits her teeth.

“Ever had anyone like this before?” He says into her ear.

“Never this deep, shit.”

He sits up and puts both of her legs over his shoulders. His fingers press bruises into her thighs as he holds onto her. She looks up at him as her mouth falls open. He was ramming into her and it felt so good to fuck like this. She didn’t want to be treated delicately. What he was doing was amazing, but her clit was missing the friction, so her hand slides down to rub at it.

“Fuck.” He breathes as he watches her touch herself. He lets go of one of her thighs and moves her hand aside so he can rub it for her. Her head rolls back the second she feels his thumb on her.

“Just like that.” She pants. “Don’t stop.”

He grunts his response as he continues to fuck her. He could feel her tightening around his cock and he knew she was close. He rubs her a little faster, and watches as her body contorts under his.

“Let go, come on, show me how you do it, Y/N.”

That pushes her over the edge. She cries out as she comes around him. He rubs her still, but slows his pace to help her through it. She tightens around him again as she comes down from her bliss. He drops her legs and pulls out. He sits up against her headboard and pulls her into his lap. He doesn’t have her face him, though, he has her sit on him facing away. Her head rolls back against his shoulder once she sinks down on him. She uses her knees to push herself up and down on his cock. He bites down on her shoulder, licks up to just under her ear to suck on the tender skin again. His hands find her bouncing breasts, and he kneads them.

“Harry.” She groans.

“Feels good, love?”

“So good.” She turns her head and sticks her tongue out slightly so he’ll kiss her. His tongue meets hers and they practically slobber all over each other as her pace quickens on him.

His hands slide down to her hips to help her. He thrusts up into her to get into a rhythm. He could feel his orgasm bubbling at the base of his spine.

“Fuck, oh my god.” He moans, which makes her moan. She tightens around him. He wanted her to come again, to come with him, so he rubs her clit while she continues to bounce him.

“Shit, fuck, Harry!”

They come at the same time, both of them crying out form the intensity. He gives her a second to catch her breath before he lifts her off of him. She gets up and quickly walks to the bathroom to clean herself up. He goes in after her to rid himself of the condom. She was about to throw on a t-shirt when he comes back out.

“Don’t bother.” He smirks.

“What do you mean?”

“It’ll just come off again.”

“Oh.” She blushes and puts it back into her dresser.

He gets on the bed with her and pulls her close to his chest. His fingers run up and down her back lightly, causing goosebumps to raise on her skin. She rests one of her legs on top of his, and wraps her arm around his torso. She wasn’t sure if she’d have the energy to fuck him again so soon, especially when the rhythm of his heart beat was lulling her to sleep. Her eyes flutter closed. He looks down at her and smiles when he sees her lips parted. He kisses the top of her head, and slowly falls asleep himself.

The next morning, Y/N wakes up cozy, head stuffed into her pillow, blankets wrapped around her. It was darker than usual. Her eyes flutter open and see the rain falling down. She hears it tapping delicately against her windows. It was a normal Sunday morning, or it would have been if she hadn’t completely forgotten there was a warm body wrapped around her. She rolls over slowly not to disturb the stranger. She gasps to herself when she sees it really is Harry Styles, not just some guy that looked like him. She really took him home with her and she really fucked him. He pulls her closer to her and she sighs.

“Your bed’s comfy.” He mutters.

“Thanks, I’ve got one of those foam pads under the sheets. Makes a world of difference.”

She feels his chest rumble as he chuckles. She feels him press a soft kiss to her forehead before pulling away slightly.

“Mind if I grab a shower?”

“Not at all.” She smiles up at him. “If you don’t mind smelling like my fruity shampoo, that is.”

“You’re funny.” He chuckles again and stretches as he sits up. He rubs his eyes, and gets out of the bed. Y/N couldn’t help but ogle his naked body as he walks away. He pops his head out of the door frame to look at her. “Are you coming?”

“Oh…you wanted me to-“

“Obviously.” He scoffs. “Wouldn’t mind fucking you again, either.”

Normally she’d wrap herself in a blanket, but if he was going to be bold, then so was she. So she gets out of bed and struts over towards him. She brushes her teeth quickly as he uses some mouth wash. She gets the water in the shower going.

“Does that head detach? I don’t know if I can crouch for that long.” He laughs.

“Yeah, it comes right off, don’t worry.” She pulls back the curtain and they both get in.

She helps him wash up, scrubs her nails over his head as she washes out the shampoo, and once they’re both clean, he hoists her up against the wall, and kisses her. She was plenty wet for him, and he smiles against her as he slips a finger inside her.

“You were ready f’me, hm?”

“Guess so.” She nips at his bottom lip, which delights him.

“Mind if I just slip it in like this and pull out after?”

“That’s fine.” She smiles. “Wouldn’t mind actually being able to feel you.”

“Christ.” He groans, and then pushes his hard cock inside her. Her head rolls back against the tile as his lips attack to her throat.

It was a nice, passionate morning fuck. When they’re done she gets him a towel, and wraps one around herself. He watches as she runs around to make her bed back up. It was a small apartment, so any clutter just made it look even smaller. He grabs his phone out of his pants pocket, and sighs.

“Alright?” She asks, sitting on the edge of her bed. He comes to sit down next to her.

“Yeah, just a ton of missed calls and texts. Thought I made it pretty clear to Jeff I wouldn’t be coming back to the hotel last night.”

“Do you have a plane to catch or anything?”

“Not today, tomorrow though.”

She watches as he types away to respond to the dozen or so texts he had form various people.

“Would you like any coffee or anything? Juice?”

“Just a black coffee would be perfect if it’s not too much trouble, love.”

“Coming right up.”

His eyes flicker up to watch her bum and hips sway as she walks into the kitchen area. She fills up her Keurig to get his coffee going.

“No cream or sugar, just black?”

“Please.” He smiles. “Thanks.”

She nods and gets a mug down from her cabinet to place under the machine. She thinks he’s talking to her for a moment, but when she looks over she can see he’s on the phone.

“I’m not sure when I’ll be back. I’m well aware, thanks.” He sighs and shakes his head. “I’m allowed to go out and have some fun.” He crosses a leg over the other so he can rest his elbow on his thigh, propping his chin up with his palm. “She’s making me a cup of coffee, is that alright? No, I don’t just carry those in my back pocket…” He rolls his eyes. “I’ll take care of it. Alright, bye.”

She comes over to him with a mug for him, and one for herself. She added a bit of cream to hers. She just couldn’t do black coffee.

“Thank you so much, feel like I’m about to get a headache.” He says, taking the mug from her, smacking his lips after he takes a sip.

“I have some aspirin if you need some.”

“Caffeine should work just fine, but thank you.”

“So, uh, not that I was listening in or anything, just, small space and all, but what don’t you carry around in your back pocket?”

“Oh.” He chuckles. “An NDA, that’s all. Jeff’s gonna email one over to me any second I’m sure.”

“What do you need an NDA for?”

“It’s not for me, it’s for you.” She looks at him deeply confused. “I’m a very private person, and not that I think you’re the type to go around spouting your business, it’s just, well, you’re a fan and…”

“You need me to sign an NDA so I won’t tell anyone we fucked?”

“Basically, yeah. Sorry if that makes things a little awkward. It’s just to keep my personal life personal, that’s all.” He takes another sip of the coffee. “This is really good, what brand is this?”

“Green Mountain Coffee…it comes from Vermont.”

“It’s delicious, I’ll have to look into it.” He smiles, although she can tell she’s starting to feel uneasy. She’s painfully aware that this was just a drunk hookup, a one night stand. “Are you alright?” He puts a hand on her knee.

“M’fine, just a bit groggy.” She sips her own coffee.

“Well, I’m starved, you’ve gotta be too, right? What a good place to grab some breakfast around here?” He stands up and starts looking for his clothes.

“Um…there’s a place right down the street.”

“We’ll have to take a cab unless you have a really big umbrella.” He smirks as he pulls his boxers on.

“Do I have to sign an agreement saying I won’t talk about breakfast too, or?”

Harry sighs as he pulls his pants on. She looks at him as she sips her coffee.

“Guess I’ll find out when I read the fine print.” She stands up and walks back over to her kitchen area. He follows her there with his mug and sticks it in the sink.

“Why is it such a big deal?”

“It’s not, I just…I mean…what do you think I’m going to do? Go onto a blog and spill every detail about last night? As if I could remember every little thing.” She scoffs and rinses out her mug.

“You easily could. You have to understand, sometimes when stories slip or people feel like they know things about you, it’s harder to get deals or make business decisions. I want to be taken seriously, so I don’t post personal things on social media, and I have the people I hook up with sign NDA’s.”

“Well, maybe I should have you sign one for me then.” She says, crossing her arms. He raises an eyebrow at her. “How do I know our night together won’t be inspiration for your next love scenes? You’re quite descriptive in your works. You must take from real life when you’re writing those things.”

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll text Jeff and have him email me two, one for each of us. I won’t talk about you and you won’t talk about me. Now, can we please go get some breakfast?”

“Why do you even want to go anywhere with me if you’re so scared of people finding out?” She walks over to her dresser to pick out an outfit she wouldn’t mind getting wet in the rain.

“It’s one thing to be seen with someone at a diner, it’s another to have what you’re like in the bedroom aired out to millions of people.”

“It’ll be obvious we slept together. My neck is littered with kiss marks.” She taps over one of the spots. He watches as she wriggles a pair of panties up her legs, and then a pair of jeans. “You’re also wearing your clothes from last night.” She tosses him his button up.

“I don’t suppose you have a large t-shirt I could throw on?”

“I’m sure I could find one.” She find a bra and t-shirt of her own, and then rummages through her pajama drawer for one of her larger bed shirts. “Here.” She hands him the shirt. He puts it on and looks down at it.

“Cute.” He smiles. “You can keep mine, and I’ll keep this one, how’s that sound?”

“Guess I’m just glad that’s not my favorite one.” She grabs her raincoat and umbrella. She furrows her brows and then remembers where her rubber boots on. “Could you order an uber or something?”

“Sure.”

They get down to the street, and head into the car he ordered. The diner was busy when they got there, but since it was just the two of them, they didn’t have to wait long to be seated. Harry’s phone pings with the email from Jeff.

“So…I just need to digitally sign it?”

“Mhm.” He hands his phone over to her so she can read over everything. He rests his chin on his palm. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen someone read over it so diligently before.”

“I’m a lawyer.” She mumbles.

“No shit.” He sits up, suddenly even more intrigued with her. “Good for you.”

“Well, I’m in law school, and I work as a para at a law firm, but I’m getting there.” She says as she uses her finger to sign her life away. “I’d like to read the one he sent to you for me.”

“Just swipe to the next email.”

She nods and looks it over. It was the same as her. She hands him back his phone and watches him sign it.

“I’d like both copies emailed over to me.”

“Alright, what’s your email?”

“I’ll put it in.” She takes his phone back and puts her information in, sending herself the copies. “There.” She crosses her arms. “Happy?”

“Yes, actually.”

A waitress comes over to them, and they both order scrambled eggs with bacon, potatoes, and toast. It’s quiet between them for a few moments. She looks out the window to watch the rain fall, and then looks back at him. He was twiddling his thumbs in his lap.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?” He looks up at her.

“What am I doing here with you? You could have easily slipped out this morning, even last night…”

“I’m not that kind of guy.”

“So…what is this, a consolation before we never see each other again?”

“No.”

“Then what is this?! I feel like I’m not even looking at a real person. I’ve wanted to meet you for so long, and I would have killed for the opportunity to sit down and have breakfast with you. I have so many questions about your work, and-“

“So, ask me.”

“What?”

“Ask me all your questions. What can I answer that I haven’t already in an interview? You wanna know my thought process? Where and what I get inspired by? How long it takes me to write a book, a chapter even? I only have bullshit answers, to be honest. I keep notes on my phone for when I get inspired, and then when I’m able to be at my computer I’ll type for hours without stopping. It’s like I blackout or something. It feels like I didn’t even take a second to blink. I’ll work on multiple projects at the same time too. I have three other books I’m currently working, all with completely different topics and characters. I can’t shut my brain off, ever. I don’t know why I’m like this. Even when I go on a vacation to unplug, I have to keep a notebook with me to write things down. I started writing because I just needed to get everything out of my head. I feel a huge sense of relief when I’m done with a piece so I can just move on from it. I had to start my own publication because my content was going to be put in the same category as Fifty Shades, and I didn’t want that. Luckily, Jeff went to school for PR, and he helped me out, and now he’s my manager. He’s the best there is, but sometimes it would be nice to fuck a pretty girl and take her to breakfast without having to worry about every little thing.”

Before Y/N can respond their food is brought over. They both thank the waitress. She picks her for up and plays with her potatoes before looking at him.

“Not to mention, said pretty girl told me how much my work means to her, how it helps her sleep at night. Fuck, I mean, I thought I was going to melt into a fucking puddle right there. My anxiety gets bad at night too, I knew exactly where you were coming from, babe. I can’t tell you how many nights I try to go to sleep and can’t, so I just get up and go back to my computer until I pass out in my chair.” He blinks at her, as she still says nothing. “Are you…not going to say anything?”

“I’m not sure what to say, I’m trying to take in everything you said and match it to the person you were yesterday at that signing. It’s an act, right? Your cool demeanor?”

“I have a stage presence for sure.” He sighs, and takes a bite of his bacon. “What am I gonna do, get up there and tell everyone that the fourth book took so long because I had to have surgery for carpal tunnel?”

“For someone who likes to be so private, you’re sure telling me a lot of personal things.”

“You signed something saying you wouldn’t discuss any of this, so I feel a little freer to explain myself. Have I totally ruined your perception of me? Is this a never meet your hero sort of moment?”

“Not at all.” She smiles. “You seem comfortable with me, which is nice. I like that I’m seeing this side of you, you’re more than just the suave guy I’ve seen in interviews, or listening to on podcasts. You’re a person, just like me.”

“Exactly, so you understand why I might want some privacy.”

“I do.” She nods and finally takes a bite of her food. “I’m sorry if I got a little pissy about it.”

“Don’t be, it’s always an awkward conversation to have.”

“So, how many women do you hook up with exactly? You’re making yourself sound like a player.” She chuckles.

“I mean…I’m a guy who has needs. I’m not gonna lie, I probably do it a little too much, but I don’t usually spend this much time with the person, or if I do…well…it’s not usually like this.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to actually have a conversation with you.” He shrugs. “You peaked my interest.”

“Clearly.” She smirks.

“At least I’ve never rubbed one out to the thought of a famous person.” He smirks back.

“Oh, I’m sorry, do you consider yourself famous?” She grins at him. “And I haven’t rubbed one out, it’s usually just a dream. Don’t flatter yourself, Harry.” She shakes her head.

“My bad, so I’ll just assume you get that wet for every guy you hook up with?”

Where was this conversation going, and why was it happening in such a public place? Was he trying to rile her up?

“I don’t think this is appropriate to talk about right now.” She whispers harshly.

He smirks and continues eating. They look at each other occasionally as they eat. The waitress comes over with the bill, and Harry throws some cash down on the table.

“Let me pay the tip at least.” She says, reaching for her purse.

“Don’t be silly, I put plenty down for the tip. I’ve got it.” He puts his hand over hers. “Seems like the rain’s stopped, wanna walk back?”

“Do you not need to be anywhere?”

“Nope.” He smiles. “Today’s my free day, isn’t that nice? I’ve got a plane to catch tomorrow morning, and that’s all I have to worry about. So, I’m more than happy to walk you back home.”

She nods and follows him out of the diner.

“So, do I only get your email, or do I get your number too?”

“Why, so you can hit me up whenever you’re in the city?”

“Precisely.” He nudges her as she laughs. “Come on, I gave you mine.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t even look…I would have been so embarrassed, you would have forgotten all about me. I don’t even know if I would have even had the courage to message you.”

“I wouldn’t have forgotten you.”

“Did you manager know you just gave your number out like that?”

“God no, he’d murder me.” Harry chuckles. “Jeff’s great, but he’s way too serious.”

“So, maybe I’ll message you sometime.”

“I prefer chatting on the phone, to be honest.”

“Why’s that?”

“Anyone can send a text, but a phone is, like, I don’t know, it’s romantic.”

“Romantic?”

“Yeah, like, a phone is something you really need to make time for.”

She pouts at him and looks at him with big eyes. They stop once they’re in front of her building.

“I come back to the city in two weeks, I really would like to see you again.”

“What are you coming back for?”

“Another signing. This one sold out, and I felt bad. I think anyone who wants to see me should.” He shrugs. “I wouldn’t have anything that I do if it weren’t for the people who supported me.”

“That’s sweet.” She smiles. “Okay, I guess we could see each other again.”

“Great, just make sure you call me, okay? Then I can call you, and we’ll just be two people calling each other sometimes.” He blushes.

“Why are you so romantic?” She laughs and wraps her arms around his waist.

“I wish I knew. It’s a blessing and a curse, I think.” He sighs and cups her cheeks. He leans in and kisses her, she happily kisses him back and pulls him closer.

“Do you, um, need to go back to your hotel now?”

“Not necessarily, what’d you have in mind?” He raises an eyebrow at her. She leans up and whispers in his ear, making his cheeks grow hotter. He looks at her, a little stunned. “I definitely have time for that.”

“I figured you would.” She winks at him and yanks him into her building.

She wasn’t ready to let go of him just yet. Everything still felt like a dream, only better. Even when Harry had to go off to his next signing, she slept better than she ever had. She called him late one night, much to his surprise, and they spoke for hours. She didn’t have to listen to the same words over and over to fall asleep, she had him, the real him.

#harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles smut

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everyonewasabird · 2 years

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Brickclub 4.7.3 “Argot which weeps and argot which laughs”

...There’s interesting stuff in this chapter, but I’m really feeling like I’d prefer to get a lecture about these shifts in linguistics from literally anyone but Hugo.

It’s not that I have a problem with his writing in general! But this chapter specifically feels like we’re getting into cultural and linguistic history, and if someone is going to tell me an actual academic thesis, I’d like it to be someone who can say clearly: “here’s something we’ve established and experts generally agree on based on evidence” and “here’s a bold hypothesis with some support and here’s the support” and “here is some conjecture.”

Hugo’s track record of make-shit-up-and-then-base-incendiary-metaphors-on-it is great and all, but it does NOT mix well with academic-style analysis for me.

He’s claiming in this chapter that there was a shift from works of argot sounding sorrowful and sorry for their crimes pre-eighteenth century to being defiantly jubilant sometime during it. Which: is very interesting! Is it true? Absolutely no idea! Am I annoyed that he can’t talk about any of the parts of this claim without massive value judgements about everyone involved? Yes!

Aaaand I was right to be suspicious, because suddenly we’re back on the idea of unenlightened peasants waging the Wrong Kind of rebellion and the uneducated masses going after the privileged, but Wrongly, because somebody let the poor fools get their hands on bad ideas. I’m not saying populist uprisings can’t go badly (hoooo boy), but.. We’re getting into that territory where it feels like he’s saying there’s something wrong with workers’ thoughts and opinions just because they disagree with him and other leftists in his social class.

I sense the shadows of 1848--by which I mean Hugo’s terrifying cognitive dissonance--massing on the horizon.

Anyway, he argues that “good” revolution (like the FRev), will eradicate “bad” revolution (like the misguided peasant revolts).

And THEN (!!!!) the end of the chapter:

No more Jacquerie then. I regret it on account of the able. That is the old terror which has had its last effect, and which can never henceforth be employed in politics. The great spring of the red spectre is broken. Everybody knows it now. The scarecrow no longer scares. The birds take liberties with the puppet, the beetles make free with it, the bourgeois laugh at it.

This is huge, actually?? Hugo is coming full circle.

The “able” he refers to are the ones who carved up the July Revolution for their own advancement; his regrets are, obviously, not sincere. In “the Noxious Poor” section he outlines how the ambitious elite use criminals like Patron-Minette to scare off rebellion, because people come to think Revolution mean them. And a few chapters ago, we saw in action how the prisons are constructed to let those criminals back onto the streets so they can keep frightening the people into line.

Hugo is postulating a world where Revolution will finally clear out the need for all that. Patron-MInette will no longer work as the government’s scarecrow. The last barricade will be one that Le Cabuc can’t stain.

And damn, I love the structure of this, and wow do I wish he had a way of getting here that wasn’t Good Rebellion v. Bad Rebellion.

#brickclub #lm 4.7.3 #hugo stop being weird about peasants challenge

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epinosicc · 3 years

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This is going to be quite chaotic, but this is something I wrote late one stormy July night about my life this far and how I’ve realized my problems

Okay it’s around midnight where I’m at so it’s time to rant instead of sleeping because I’m a minor and I have ✨issues✨

I tend to think more than what’s probably considered healthy, mostly because I do t have people to talk to. Don’t get me wrong, I have friends, but I don’t know what they’re doing and I don’t want to burden them with my stupid problems. So like any sane person I write my problems on the internet.

I usually think about the weird things when it’s raining. It’s something about the sound and feeling of rain that makes me more content, which makes me think. Now, I don’t have any big problems by any means. I’m simply figuring myself and my life out.

First of all, my previously mentioned friends. I trust them, of course, but at the same time I don’t. And like many who think to much and have a strange amount of self-awareness, I think I know why that is. When I first started going to school, I was confident. I’d already had friends before and thought I knew how to make new ones. The problem with that is that said friends did not go to my school, so I was alone. Until I met my first two friends. They were very nice to me, we played together and got along. The thing that I started noticing though was that if me and one of them arrived at school around the same time and out third friend wasn’t there yet we’d get along great, but as soon as that third friend arrived I’d get ditched in favour of them. And that would obviously hurt me. But we resolved it (not really) and things were going fine. But that experience stuck with me. It was my first taste of loneliness and abandonment (dramatic much?) and it made me doubt myself. I thought that maybe, just maybe, there was something about me that they didn’t like.

Now jump ahead about two years and I was alone Every. Single. Recess. (Oh shit it storming outside right now and some thunder sounded like a bomb) Obviously this only made me feel worse about myself. I just remember being so desperate for some sort of connection with someone. And I got one. I started talking to this person, I’ll call them Bird, and we got along great. Pretty soon Bird was my best and we spent a lot of our time together. I was still sort of friends with the two other people, at least during lessons, and sometimes during recess, but not that much otherwise.

Jump ahead a bit more, another year or so, and my class changed. At my school my class and another (same age as us) we’re combined into one. In this class that we were combined with there were a few new people, one of whom stuck out. Mostly because they didn’t like me, and they weren’t exactly discreet in letting me know. They never said so to my face, but they made it quite clear in how they acted towards me. This also made me feel bad. Is there really something so wrong with me that others couldn’t help but dislike me for it? Can I fix it? What do it that makes me different? (At the current point in my life I’m fairly certain I know what it is so yeah. Fun)

Now, I’d always cared a fair bit about school. I was taught that education was important, and if I was going to spend hours at school I might as well use that time for something, be it academically of socially. So when those around me started caring less about their education and more about things such as appearance and social hierarchy and relationships, I was confused. Why would they just not care? HOW could they just not care? Now, I’m not saying that any of the previous things are necessarily bad things to care about. In fact, ist great! Being invested in your social life and how others view you can be nurturing and make you feel fulfilled. But too much of anything can be bad. Letting yourself care about only those things can be harmful in more ways than one. I’ve never particularly cared about those things; I don’t like dressing up or making myself look good for others. I don’t value others validation of my appearance. What I didn’t notice was that as I believed these thoughts, I started eating less.

But things are still pretty chill. I still struggle with what’s wrong and what makes me different, but that’s fine. I’m pretty sure everyone goes through that at some point in our lives. But now I’m starting to find some answers. I don’t really care much for my appearance or style, I like academic things, I’m starting to fall behind in my social development, people are becoming more bold in stating their opinions, people are more hateful and spread misinformation etc etc (there’s a fucking mosquito who won’t leave me alone fuck off please). And at this point I’m more invested in the online world. But the international online world, not my national online world if that makes sense. English isn’t my first language but I learned it from the internet/YouTube and it’s basically my second language at this point. I learned English for English content creators, and I continued following them, not the ones relevant in my home/country. So I was and still am kind of out of the loop on current influencer events here in the North. This ties in with what I thought to be the answer to my questions: the LGBTQIA+ Community.

I started finding creators from the LGBT+ and I related to them and their stories. But I didn’t think I was one of them. People at school were not afraid to boldly proclaim that being LGBTQ+ was wrong and bad and strange. That there was something inherently rotten about such people. Now, did I agree with that? No. But I let it influence to the point were I thought that others being LBGTQ+ was fine, but me being that wasn’t. I wasn’t aloud to be one of them because there wasn’t supposed to be something wrong with me. But there was something, in the back of my mind, some part of me that knew. That knew who I am and that being me was fine. Too bad that voice wasn’t loud enough.

I still had Bird with me. Granted, they also had other friends, but they still stayed by my side. And they didn’t change like others did. My two first friends are people I also grew closer to at this time. I put our “situation” behind me and ignored it. It was a new chapter of my life, one where thing were changing in the right direction. Too bad I wasn’t too good at reading maps.

At this point I’m in sixth (6th) grade, the worst grade/period/time of my life thus far. After summer break people had changed a lot. Not just socially, but physically as well. We started to mature, we were lite tiny birds, looking out of the nest and thinking about how to take flight and reach above the branches of expectations and reach the clouds of ambition. But some of us didn’t. We didn’t want to start using our wings. At most we took a little peek out of our nest and divided that was enough for now. We began to grow frightened of others and their strange ideas of leaving what we knew was safe. I’m We for those wondering.

I started struggling with anxiety, I couldn’t stand in front of people without being scared and had a few panic attacks during presentations. People would look at me weirdly and I grew paranoid of what was wrong with me. At this point I started eating even less, resigning myself to one potion per meal, and no snacks, sometimes skipping lunch. Once again some of my friends that I had at this point started drifting away from me but now the rest, and I started trusting them even less. I can’t help but think that they’re only pitying me, that they’re going to leave and that they do thing behind my back. There was also someone else who had a big influence on me.

I, along with Bird started hanging around this person, we’ll call them Pen. They were sort of new, they’d always been in our class but had been living abroad for eight (8) months and had just come back. At first things were great. Bird, Pen and I were our own little trio of friends. But soon a change occurred. Pen started getting more clingy, staying uncomfortably close at times and never staying out of our personal space. Bird ended up taking the initiative with one of our other mutual friends and had long talk with Pen which sort of ended their friendship. At first they’d all handled it alone but then Pen involved their parents and thing went downhill. But I wasn’t part of it. Which made Pen hang on to me even more. I could never get away from them, it always felt like they were breathing down my neck. I didn’t tell them this though, they just lost two friends and they must be hurt from it, seeking comfort from someone they still considered a friend. I was uncomfortable, but I felt bad for them, so I continued being around them. Something my teachers had realized at this point was that I tend to take responsibility for other and their actions, and told me that I should try to relax and talk to them as I had seemingly started to become overwhelmed. But I don’t tell others my problems so I didn’t take their help. This kind of escalated a bit next grade.

Grade seven (7) was not my best year but also not my worst. I spent summer break reflecting and thinking, and started to value myself a bit more. I started hanging out with friends more often (usually Bird), and started unintentionally ignoring Pen. Though sometimes, I think it was intentional, as the very thought of Pen at this point made me anxious and uneasy. I thought I could simply let Pen hang around with me, and then let them get their own new friend group. I didn’t want them to only hang around me, it was honestly a bit scary how much I dreaded being around them. The feeling that something was off or wrong around them wouldn’t go away. They didn’t leave me though. No; I became their sole friend whom they refused to leave. In seventh (7th) grade our class was split, with me and Bird being in different classes. I had some friends in my new class though andere became a group. I thought I could nudge Pen to become part of this group. Except that Pen didn’t interact or contribute to the relationship. They weren’t social enough with the group to become part of it, standing in the group only to follow me. And my teachers noticed this and spoke to me. I told them how I was uncomfortable around Pen, and how I would like to not have to sit close to them next time we switched we seats (done every few weeks or so). Teachers agreed. But didn’t follow through. They sat me Right. Next. To. Pen. I confronted them about this. They lied to me. Their reasoning was that one of Pen’s parents had told the teachers how Pen only felt comfortable around me, and that they would like for us to be together at school as much as possible.

I was horrified at this - I couldn’t be held responsible for another students comfort, grades and social life! They basically put all the responsibilities of the teachers - making sure students felt comfortable, helping with schoolwork when needed, making sure the student had friends in the class - on me! I was basically supposed to play friend, teacher and class for Pen! I honestly couldn’t believe it, and told my friends. They told me they understood completely - they could see how emotionally and mentally exhausted I was from taking care of Pen, studying, after school activities and being around people that they were concerned about my well being. They, too, had tried to get Pen to become part of the group, but when only one person is taking care of the ship you can’t expect it to sail. They also felt uncomfortable around Pen. My anxiety only got worse because of this, and I started becoming paranoid that Pen was always watching me, either through my phone or my windows. I could not get myself to relax, not even when totally alone, something I’ve always enjoyed and felt comfortable with.

And at the end of grade seven (7), it happened. I found out that Pen was switching schools. I feel guilty admitting it, but I felt so relieved and free when I found out. Finally, I thought, finally I would get some privacy. All of my other friends are aware of my boundaries: don’t touch me unless I’m ready and aware of it, give me some space, don’t force me to talk when I’m anxious etc. They know, respect and treat me well, and in turn I treat them well and respect their boundaries, but Pen didn’t seem to understand that no, I don’t want you to stand so close to me that I can literally feel you body heat.

So grade eight (8) rolls around and I so does a certain unspecified virus. We therefore had to have school online. For me this was a blessing. I don’t enjoy being around people for too long and I don’t ever want to deal with my classmates bs. The teachers even commented on several occasions that I seemed much happier, which I was considering I didn’t have someone constantly breathing down my neck. And now I start to drift away from Bird. I always considered Bird my absolute closest friend. Almost like a sibling. And now we were drifting apart. We both started walking our own paths, still close together but different in so many ways. We’re still friends to this day, but I don’t think our friendship is going to last until we’re adults anymore. It’s sort of sad, but it is natural. We are both starting to forge our own paths in life, our own docks from which we will eventually set sail from to explore the limitless blue beyond that is life. And one day we might even meet again on some distant island, reconnecting and sharing stories of calm blue oceans to storming black waters. But that will happen with time. For now, I’m content finding materials for my dock with my group of friends, sharing ideas for designs and unfinished blueprints of a distant future. I’m content staring at that great far away horizon painted in the colors of pink, magenta and blue, watching the clouds of today’s events and feeling the winds of tomorrow’s surprises whilst thinking of what one day might be.

TL;DR: I rant about my life and somehow become a poet at the end.

End note - I still struggle with trust and anxiety. I don’t have problems with how my body looks anymore and I don’t confine myself to strict diets and eating schedules. Part of me feels guilty about my situation with Pen, and one part of me feels relieved and happy that I don’t have to deal with them anymore. I’m smart enough and self aware enough to realize my problems and their causes, and I have the tools to craft my solutions. I’m doing good, and know how to keep doing good, at least for a little while more.

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