#and that's fine bc i don't listen their music that much. but their voices are similar in tone right? to me they are at least but idk!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

The average Tumblr user visits about 67 pages every month.

#and that's fine bc i don't listen their music that much. but their voices are similar in tone right? to me they are at least but idk!!!!

little-miss-dilf-lover · 4 months

Note

hiii omg I love your stuff!! my eyeballs popped out my head when I saw you're writing for bucky I'm sooo head over heels for him. he look so fine in the new thunderbolts run😩

could I maybe request a lil bucky sneaking into your room at night in between his missions or smth for a quickie? 🙈 even though he's busy more than half the time, he still finds a moment or two to spend a heated moment with you; bc he misses you so much and can barely keep his hands off

tysm in advance omg omg

hii angel!! aah thank you sm🫠 tehe I know!?? love it, thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

FIFTEEN MINUTES.

bucky barnes x fem!reader

word count. 1115

warnings. 18+ only !! tiny bit of prep (f receiving) unprotected pinv, creampie. mdni

Nights at the compound were far from quiet; the constant opening and closing of doors, scattered footsteps, echoed voices - everyone on different sleep schedules.

You were in your room settling down for the night, lying in bed and listening to music, scrolling through your phone when you hear the sound of scuffling from behind your door - the silhouette of booted feet appearing under the gap.

Unplugging your earphones, you sit up, noticing the familiar leather from under the slither of light. You fling off your covers and rush for the door, face lighting up when you see who is on the other side.

"Bucky?!" you blurt out, clearly happy to see him. "What are you doing back so soon?" you ask, tone elated.

His smile widens, grinning boyishly at you. "Came back before heading out again," he shrugs casually, speaking as if it were all that easy. "...was missing you," he admits, eyes diverting away bashfully.

Your head tilts to the side, nose scrunching from his sweet confession. "I missed you," you widen your door, silently inviting him inside. "Only a little bit," you add, expression mirroring his.

Bucky steps into your room and shuts the door behind himself, closing the distance between you with a brisk step forward - leaning in to kiss you, soft and sweet. His hands settle on your waist, fingers sliding under the fabric of your t-shirt to feel your skin - flesh warm and comforting against his.

You rest your hands over the sides of his face, palms cupping his cheeks as the kiss grows more desperate. Carnal. "How long til you leave?" you ask, voice muffled against his lips, your words sounding needy.

"Fifteen minutes."

He walks you backwards, heading for your bed, his hands eagerly roaming you as he lays you against the edge of the mattress, slotting his lower half between your spread legs. He hovers above you, his cock growing hard and strained behind his pants, bulge nudging up into that warm spot between your thighs.

"We can make that work," you reply, a slight whine to your tone.

He hums, far too entranced by how you feel against him to respond coherently. The rush of blood swelling to his cock, leaving his brain. Bucky peels from your grasp and stands between your spread legs, looking down at the lewd image of you - lips bruised and plumped, eyes half-lidded, t-shirt exposing the underneath of your pretty tits.

He loved how you usually looked, but this was just on another level - you obscenely desperate for him and him only. Your eager eyes following his every move, looking over him like you couldn't get enough.

Your gaze hones in on his hands, watching him undo the button of his pants, his fingers slipping down the front, pulling his hardened dick from behind the waistband. You follow suit, urgently pulling down your pyjama bottoms and flinging them aside - leaving you in only an oversized tee, lying near naked under his fully clothed self.

His left metal hand takes hold of his cock, leisurely rolling it in his palm as his other reaches between your thighs - fleshed middle finger sliding up and down the slit of your pussy. Fingerpad circling over your clit ever so deliciously, mindlessly rubbing the sensitive nub.

"We don't have long, James," you say softly, hand reaching for his wrist, fingers wrapping around his meaty lower arm.

He slips off his jacket, revealing a black compression top underneath. He stands between your legs, blissfully unaware of how good he looks right now - tight, short-sleeved top, black combat pants pooling around his thighs, pretty dick exposed and on display.

"Wish we had longer," he murmurs, itching himself closer.

"You're back in two days, right?" you say, instinctively adjusting your hips - widening your thighs to accustom his frame.

He pushes his head through the slick of your cunt, coating the tip in a soft, creaming sheen. He hums in response, his thumb resting atop his cock as he guides himself into you, easing through your fluttering walls.

He leans over you once more, weight anchored on his hands either side of your head, dick sinking into you so nicely - just you taking him so well.

You reach up to cup his cheeks, holding his face in your hands as you maintain his gaze, your features growing pliant under his attention - eyes softening, brows knitting, expression mirroring his. You meet in the middle, lips clashing eagerly.

"Can't you pretend to be sick?" you murmur against his mouth, speaking desperately.

He slowly begins to wind his hips into you, cock consuming you from the inside out. "I can try to get out of it," he replies, his voice hoarse and strained from the way you wrap yourself around him.

"Please do," you whisper, latching your lips back onto his - kissing him hard, moans muffling.

"Why?" he whispers back, a soft smile lining his lips. "Do you miss me?"

"No."

"No?"

You faintly shake your head, eyes playful and unconvincing. "No."

He plays along. "Neither do I."

Bucky continues like that, fucking into you, his leisured pace growing rushed by the second, winding into you more ruthlessly than he would've liked. Usually, he would take the time to work you up - make love to you, kiss and touch and caress you, but with the minutes growing shorter and shorter, less and less, he had to switch it up.

It doesn't take long for you both to cum, your climax hitting you hard; his cock almost choking you, repeatedly knocking the air out of your lungs. His release follows mere moments later, spilling his warm, thick load - sloppily pumping it into you.

His forehead rests against yours, both of your breathing erratic, slowly beginning to even out. "Sorry, my love. I got to go," he whispers apologeticly, pressing a kiss to your hairline.

Sweetly nodding as you push his stray hairs back, looking at him with a knowing expression he's grown familiar with.

He kisses you once more and peels himself from you, standing back between your thighs - dressing back up. He looks down at you, eyes raking over you as if to savour the image, memorising you before he goes.

Adjusting your t-shirt, you follow after him, the patter of your bare feet trailing after him like a shadow. He reaches for the handle and turns back to face you, his soft, gentle eyes filled with warmth.

"I'll call you when I land," he smiles, speaking like he's reading your mind.

"Be careful, yeah?" you reach up, meeting his initiation for kiss.

"I always am."

#request #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #winter soldier x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky x reader smut #marvel smut #bucky x reader #bucky x you

2K notes · View notes

mysticficti0n · 4 months

Note

Tom and Y/n HATE each other (well she hates him but he gets little butterflies from her sometimes heheheh but like he still doesn't like her) but she still is around a lot of the time bc she's Georgs cuz and she lives with his family (come up with something bc idk) and she helps produce TH music and is like their photographer kinda?

and in the first part she's like getting ready for a date and stuff happens and tom takes her for some reason yeah and he gets rlly pissed at her but then she wants to get picked up from this guys house and tom is the only one who picks up so yeah- enjoy writing this if you do ❤️

Oh em ghee- kinda jelly I didn't come up with this but I love it so so much

Happy new year everyone! I really like this idea and making it a new series bc why not, and don't worry All my attention is coming back this 2024!!! I havent preread this before posting because im tired as shit its literally 3:07 am so ♥︎

Get over it Part One

∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　

warnings- swearing, mentions of sex, clubbing, kissing

words- 1.6k

I sat in my mirror with music blasting in the background, Bill sat on my bed flicking through a magazine with a cig hanging from his mouth "Is a red lip too much?" I asked turning to the boy who looked up from the pages

"depends what you're wearing" I got up and grabbed my little blood red dress, black lace dressing the bottom and the u-neck shape at the top "red lips all the way" I smiled sitting back down and grabbing my red lipstick and swiping it on

"Knock Knock" a voice called outside and then three people wondered In "what the fuck are you doing" Gustav laughed shoving me

"whats it to you" he shrugged sitting himself down along side Tom, Tom never looked happy unless he had some whore sucking his cock or a smoke in his hand, I stood grabbing my dress and walked out into the bathroom, I left the door open slightly as I knew they'd be asking questions

"where she going Bill?"-"not my place to say"-"oh come on"-"nope"-"well she looks like she's going to be payed to fuck a guy"-"watch your mouth thats my cousin remember" I smirked listening to their conversation, I finally got the dress on and twirled in the mirror but realised I couldn't do the button at the back, so reluctantly I held the dress up around my side and went back to my room

"can one of you do the button please" I turned my back to the group and soon I herd the sound of shuffling and someone standing behind me

"is it just this one?" the voice of Tom rang behind me and I nodded, why him out of everyone out the room? gently his fingers brushed against my skin as he pushed the button through the loop "done" he said barely above a whisper

"thanks" I spoke walking to grab my heals, I quickly slipped my feet in and stood to look back at the guys "right well I have a date to go to but I need someone to take me- who's that gonna be?" I looked to Georg first

"erm.. well I don't have my car- Tom is the only one with one" a sigh escaped my lips but it was him or nothing and I missed my date

"fine- come then" I grabbed my bag and looked to Tom

"now?" he spoke

"yes now get up were going" The boys all stood leaving my room Bill switched off my stereo then we all went down stairs and I headed for the front door closely followed by Tom "bye guys" I yelled before walking out, Toms car clicked and unlocked

"you know-" before he could finish I closed the car door and buckled my belt, Toms side opened and he climbed in "you are such an ungrateful bitch" I laughed staring ahead "I could just not take you- get that in your fucking head"

"yet your still in the fucking car with me" he rolled his eyes staring the engine "drop me at Sarahs court" we sat in silence, no radio, no nothing until we hit a red light, I could see Tom's eyes scanning me up and down "issue?"

"your dress is very showy, do you even know the guy you're seeing?" I smiled knowing exactly who it was, and So would Tom

"thought you liked slutty things, like your girl-" he cut me off my throwing me a gaze "oh and I'm meeting Brandon, Brandon Quick" I watched as his jaw dropped slightly, eyes turning thin

"you are a fucking cunt" no words were shared after that, he stayed quiet, I knew I lit the fire now and all I could keep doing was adding to it

"Yeah he called me last night, told me he missed me and wanted to see me again, asked me to wear his favourite dress.... favourite lip, and no panties either" I kept pushing watching Toms face curl into one of pure anger, before I knew it we were at Sarahs court and he slammed on the breaks. I pulled the sun-visor down and opened the mirror checking my make up, I looked to Tom once more, his face was contorted into a frown, I didn't bother saying anything and just climbed out.

I walked around the car and saw the calming face of Brandon "hey sweetheart" he spoke coming over, hand wrapping around my waist, pressing a kiss to my cheek "who brought you?" he spoke looking behind me

"just Tom- he was the only fucking one with a car" I laughed turning to see that his car was still there with him just staring at me

"I'll come say hi" I grinned knowing this would only piss him of further, together me and Brandon walked over and I pulled open the driver door "hey man whats up?"

"mhm whats up" Tom spoke, his voice low

"eh nothing much, thanks for bring madam, promise to have her home by 9" he joked, looking down at me, I purposefully cuddled to his chest, drawing circles on his peck

"great- well I'll go now" Tom grabbed the door slamming it shut and started the engine

"whats wrong with him?" the boy spoke with a tone of sarcasm

"whats never wrong with him?" I laughed pulling Brandons head down to meet mine in a kiss, there was no denying it Brandon was hot, his brown messy locks, blue eyes, a smile that was contagious, perfectly toned body, tattoos covering his torso, he was beautiful

--- Time Skip ---

I lay there, on Brandons chest, tonight was amazing, dinner, the club and the sex but I couldn't fall asleep at all, my mind was everywhere and I just felt like going home, but the only way I could get home was Tom, I sat up and went to get my phone "hey everything okay?" Brandon's voice spoke quietly, his hand rubbing my back

"yeah sorry, I'm gonna go okay, I need to be up early tomorrow" I lied, I did feel bad but I felt bad saying the truth, I'd slept over many times but today... I just couldn't this time

"Okay babe- text me when your back" I nodded leaning down pressing a kiss to his lips softly, it took a lot to pull away but I did, I grabbed my dress, shoes and bag, pulling my phone out and going out side of the house, wrapping myself tighter in his jumper, I went through my contacts before seeing Toms and I clicked call, within seconds it was answered

"what?"

"can you come get me"

"why?"

"I cant sleep and I wanna come home and you're the only one with a car"

"Y/n its fucking 4 am"

"you answered straight away so don't tell me you weren't awake" I spat

"fine-" I gave him the address and he told me five minuets, I sat on the wall at the end of the house, staring onto the quiet street until the bright lights of Toms car cleared the darkness. I got up and opened the car door to find Tom still in the clothes he was wearing earlier and a cig in his lips

"thanks for getting me" he nodded blowing smoke away

"yeah- don't think I'll do this again alright" I nodded, I felt to tired to really answer, or argue his car was warm and I was quite warn out already "why are there tear stains down your face?" he spoke, his voice slightly concerned, I hadn't even noticed anything with my face, I'd been so concentrated on other things

"oh erm... it doesn't matter" I yawned closing my eyes, it wasn't like I was hurt or anything

"no why the fuck have you been crying" I sighed opening my eyes, looking to the boy

"me and Brandon fucked okay" Tom breathed looking back to the road "better now?" and he just nodded, I closed my eyes again and soon everything was quiet.

soon I felt cold wash on my body until two arms wrapped around me, I let myself hook my arms and legs around whatever had me, my head falling into the crook of their neck "hm- thank you"

◇─◇─Toms POV─◇─◇

I did stay up- is it because I cared- no... I was more worried something was going to happen, I knew Brandon, he was my old best friend all through school till he got with my girlfriend while we were on tour. He was known to hurt his dates, not physically but emotionally and seeing those streaks down her face just made something burn inside my chest. I kept driving until I made it back to her house, the Listing's house.

"okay Y/n-" I turned my head to see her asleep "fuck" I hit my head of the back of the seat, it was to late to call Georg to come get her, and her aunty and uncle couldn't know she was getting back at 4:15 in the morning.

I got out and walked to her side, opening the door and unbuckling her seat belt, slowly I pulled her out from the car and let her body wrap onto mine "hm- thank you" she whispered into my neck, her breath cool against my skin, I walked us toward the door, I went to her bag and pulled out the keys, I had no other choice, and let us in.

silently I began walking up the stairs, she was quietly snoring into my shoulder as I held her going to her room, I gently pushed open her door and set her on the bed, taking her belongings and put them on the desk "okay Y/n lie down" I whispered helping her lie back and pulling her sheets onto her

"my head hurts" she spoke again, without thinking my hand went to her head, I rubbed small circles and scrapped her hair back soothingly, a small smile appeared onto her lips before soft snores filled the room again. I took one last look before coming away, I went to her window, pulling it shut, closing her curtains and finally shutting her door. she wouldn't remember any of this... hopefully

Like I don't care about her but- she does mean something to me, but she couldn't know that

69 notes · View notes

aanoia · 11 months

Text

Yes (pt. 2 to "No")

James Potter x reader

Summary: James finally gets a yes and makes sure you don't regret it

Warnings; none, js super fluffy and sweet

Ft. My trip to nursery today ⚘️

Lowkey LOVE this, I hate how short it came out but that's okayy

Thanks to an acc I cannot find to tag and @herejustforjj for helping me out! You will have your angsty fluff ending probably the next part!!!

I might make an optional pt. 3, optional bc I want it to be angsty, like, sad ending, but idkkk

I might actually make a pt. 3 where there's some angst and then fluff and THEN an optional pt. 4. I rly dk

Pt. 1 here!

Y/n rolled her eyes, “Fine.”

James' eyes lit up, looking like a little kid on Christmas, “Really?” He asked tentatively, his voice quiet. Y/n smiled at him softly and nodded.

“Really.” She whispered to him and laughed as he flew up, arms in the air as he whooped and jumped around excitedly.

He paused, his face flushed and glasses crooked on his face, “It will be the best date you have ever been on. You have my word.” He promised, holding his pinky out.

Y/n linked hers with his, “I’ll hold you to that.”

He clutched tightly onto the girl's finger, lifting her up so I was standing and pulling her into a bone crushing hug. Y/n could feel the ecstatic energy radiating from his skin. He gave one last squeeze before letting go, winking and running off, probably to plan their date.

Y.n sat back down with a shake of her head, a permanent smile imprinted on her face. This should be fun.

James held tightly onto Y/n’s pinky which was linked with his as the pair walked down the busy streets of Hogsmeade.

“So, what’s your plan here, James?” Y/n asked, moving a strand of hair out of her eyes.

He smiled, “I love it when you call me James.”

She snorted, “That’s your name, is it not?”

“It is, but it sounds so much better when you say it. And you used to call me Potter, but it’s just James.” He smiled proudly.

“Okay, just James, where are we going?” Y/n asked and he grinned.

“It's a surprise, of course.” He teased, swinging their hands back and forth before he stopped in front of a bookstore. James stepped in front of Y/n and opened the door, unlinking their pinkies. He bowed slightly and held his hand out to help her up the step, “After you, m’lady.”

Y/n laughed and took his hand, “Why thank you, kind sir.”

The cold air of the bookstore was a nice contrast to the hot sun outside, and Y/n took a deep breath, happiness filling her body as soft jazz music filled the store. Y/n smiled and waved softly to the owner of the bookstore who had her nose buried in a book as she sipped from her coffee mug, her gray hair pulled back into a bun. She smiled back, glancing at James who stumbled over his feet as he came through the door and then winking at her. Y/n shook her head with a silent laugh, grabbing onto his hand and bringing him to her favorite section in the bookstore as he followed blindly.

“Wait.” He said quietly, not wanting to ruin the calm atmosphere of the store. “Here’s what’s gonna happen, alright?”

Y/n giggled softly, taking a step closer so she had to look up to look into his eyes, “What’s gonna happen?” She whispered with a smile.

“You’re gonna grab as many books as your heart desires, okay? And then you’re gonna tell me which one you’re most excited to read, and I’m going to take it and read it and leave you cute little notes, so when you read it you’re thinking of me the entire time.” He told the girl softly and she nodded, happiness blooming in her chest. Maybe this boy, as persistent and arrogant he is, isn’t that bad.

After half an hour of the two looking over new books and Y/n explaining the ones she had already read to James, who watched her lovingly and listened attentively, Y/n had chosen four books, of which James insisted he carry. They walked to the front desk and James gently placed them down, flashing the owner a smile before Y/n began rummaging in her bag for money as she looked over the choices. Y/n thanked her quietly as she told me the price, still trying to find her wallet.

“Here you go, ma’am.” James said and Y/n looked up to see him handing the owner some coins.

“Wait, no, James, I’ll pay.” She insisted but he shook his head.

“No can do.” He smiled and grabbed the bag from the owner before waving her goodbye and grabbing Y/n’s hand, leading her out of the shop, the bag softly thumping against his toned thighs. Oh, those quidditch thighs.

“Thank you, James.” Y/n said as they once again walked through the streets.

“Don’t thank me just yet, sweetheart.” He said and pulled her along hurriedly. “Food time.” He said with a smile as they neared a circle of trees, he went behind the girl. “This, my love, is when you go blind.” Y/n smiled as his warm, calloused hands went over her eyes and he carefully led her through the trees, the bag of books hanging from the inside of his elbow. “Careful, there's a fallen branch right there.” James whispered softly in Y/n’s ear, causing warmth to flood her body.

“Thank you.” She said back, equally as quiet as the birds happily chirped around them.

“Okay, you can stop walking now.” He said and she did as told. “Three, two, one.” he removed her hands and she gasped, her hand going to cover her mouth as she looked at the sight before her eyes. Candles floated in the air like they did in the Great Hall and there was an elegant red and white picnic blanket covered in an array of food. James gently led her to the picnic blanket and laid down on his side as Y/n sat with her legs outstretched.

James propped himself up with his elbow, “So?” he asked.

“James, it’s- it’s beautiful.” Y/n admitted, feeling very grateful she finally said yes to his consistent asking.

“Not as beautiful as you.” He said and winked, before quickly grabbing a chocolate covered strawberry. “Cringy, I know, but eat it. They’re good.” He encouraged, reaching up and bringing it to her lips, trying to push past them. Y/n laughed through her nose as she tried to keep her lips shut before giving in and taking a bite.

She groaned as she relished the flavor, “Strawberries are so good.” James nodded in agreement.

“You should read to me.” James said, grabbing the book bag and passing it to her, before readjusting himself and laying his head in Y/n’s lap. She smiled and grabbed one of the books, opening it with her right hand and letting her left gently play with a strand of James’ hair.

After a few moments of reading quietly to James, Y/n spared a glance at the forest in front of her and gasped quietly, urging James to look over. Standing just in view were a doe and stag, lovingly rubbing their heads together. Y/n, not knowing anything about the importance of a stag in James’ life, thought it was just a cute coincidence. James, however, knew it had to be a sign.

“One last stop.” James said, once again, for what seemed like the thousandth time, led Y/n by hand through the less busy streets of Hogsmeade.

“You really went all out, didn’t you?” Y/n asked and James nodded.

“Of course I did, the most magnificent girl on Earth said yes to date, I had to make sure she knew how special she was.” He answered, looking ahead. Something Y/n was thankful for as she was sure her face turned tomato red.

After just a moment they neared a large open area with many greenhouses.

“A nursery?” Y/n questioned, not knowing Hogsmeade even had one.

James smiled proudly, looking back at her, “Mhm! A little birdy, who goes by the name of Sirius, told me how much you loved flowers, so I figured you’d like to come here.” He said as he dragged her past the entrance and into the endless aisles of flowers.

“James, the flamingo flies!” Y/n said excitedly as she pointed at the metal flamingo whose body was swaying slightly in the wind, giving it the impression of flying.

“I wish I could fly.” James said. “That would be so cool.”

Y/n snorted, “James, you can fly.”

James stood in confusion for a moment before his eyes lit up as he remembered his broomstick, “Oh, yeah!”

“So, which is your favorite?” James asked and Y/n smiled as she spotted them and led him to them.

“Forget me nots.” She informed him, looking at the flower with a happy glint in her eyes.

“Ah, well, fear not, fair maiden. Forget you, I will not.” James said with a funny face and Y/n laughed at his ridiculousness.

The two walked around, gazing at the flowers and admiring their beauty. James watched Y/n with a soft smile as her fingers grazed the petals with the utmost gentleness, barely even bending the fragile beauty. In a moment of love, he grabbed her hand and spun her in a circle, careful not to let her fall into the flowers. She laughed giddily as her hands went to James’ shoulders to steady her. The two made eye contact, their hearts beating in sync as their faces neared each other. Y/n could feel James’ breath fan against her face and the warmth radiating from his lips as they got closer. In a quick moment, their lips touched as fireworks went off around them.

However, everything was silenced and the two pulled away quickly as a grouchy old lady cleared her throat, annoyed at the two lovesick teens for blocking the aisle. James cleared his throat as well before bowing his head at the woman with a tightlipped smile, obviously trying to hold in his laughter.

“We’re sorry, ma’am. We’ll be on our way.” He said before grabbing Y/n’s hand and rushing past the old woman. After they were a good enough distance from her they burst out laughing, finding the situation absolutely hilarious.

James groaned with an open mouth smile, running a hand over his face, messing up his glasses. Y/n took a step closer to the boy and gently fixed his glasses, a proud smile on her face when they were perfectly straight.

“You want to buy some flowers, flower?” James asked softly and Y/n nodded with a smile. “Forget me nots it is, so you never forget me.”

Y/n smiled, “You’re right. I’ll always remember you.”

#aanoia #romance #james & peter & remus & sirius #james potter x reader #remus loves sirius #sirius black #sirius being sirius #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #marauders era #marauders x reader #the marauders #marauders #marauders map

184 notes · View notes

park-jimin-isnt-real · 1 year

Text

"edge of tonight" part twelve ~ the meeting

pairing: namjoon x reader (lots of platonic ot7 x reader) rating: T 16+ genre: mafia au, angst this part: Your meeting with Mr. Wang (at a cheap downtown cafe) doesn't go according to plan. tw: mafia au!, angst, swearing, violence, guns, injury, implied death, there's a the guy who didn't like musicals reference and if you get it i will love you forever, overuse of the term 'Coffee Girl' i'm sorry i'm also annoyed with myself, i am horrible at writing action scenes pls be patient with this chapter, i also know next to nothing when it comes to medical procedures, seriously please just suspend your disbelief for this chapter, some of yall might not like jin by the end of this chapter and i'm sorry, not beta-ed (i need a new beta if anyone's interested) word count: ~8.6k track #15: Pick a Fight ~ Anna Akana: "Call me aggressive, contentious and so excessive, go ahead, teach me a lesson, baby, let me have it." the edge of tonight masterlist an: NO ONE TALK ABOUT HOW LATE THIS WAS OKAY I'M SO SORRY. really the last few hundred words of this chapter turned into a couple thousand and it was so frustrating bc i just wanted it to be DONE. but now it finally is so please enjoy and let me know what you think. thank you for being so patient!! and as always, the lovely moodboard at the bottom was made by the fantastic @mirahuyooo

The drive was quiet. And awkward. You sat in the backseat with Jungkook, but your gaze was locked on the passing scenery as your head rested against the cool window. The kitchen had been so lively, everyone chiming in and bickering. Part of you wanted to join in, but something kept stopping you.

You felt like you didn't belong anymore.

The way everyone talked, even with the addition of the other three, it was like nothing had changed. Like you were never gone. Like they just moved on without you and rebuilt their lives in a way that you weren't needed. Genius Labs, Just Dance, the hospital Jin would be going to later was probably the own Yoongi had told you he owned.

They didn't need you.

So you stayed silent, and watched the snow-covered trees slowly turn into snow-covered buildings, and tried not to think.

"I can't believe Jin-hyung didn't make us crêpes," Hobi mumbled from the passenger seat.

You could hear Yoongi's smirk. "Don't worry, Seok-ah, we'll get us some shitty croissants at a cheap downtown café."

"He said he would, though, if..." Hobi trailed off. You could feel his eyes on you and put together the end of his sentence easily. If you stayed.

"No he didn't," Jungkook said. You were grateful he took the attention off of you so quickly. "He said me and Taehyungie could have raspberries, he said nothing about making breakfast for everyone."

"It was implied!"

"It really wasn't, hyung."

Your lips turned up ever so slightly. It was nice, in a way, just listening to them. You missed this kind of light-hearted banter. No one was actually angry. No fights were going to break out. No arguments would be created. It was peaceful. It was easy to focus on them.

You didn't want to think about what you were going to do after your meeting with Mr. Wang. You didn't want to think about Jackson, blowing your phone up with call after call. You didn't want to think about Namjoon and... well, you never wanted to think about Namjoon. You thought about Namjoon too much.

You were thinking too much.

"Hey, Honey Bunches of Oats." Hobi's voice broke through your train of thought. You kept your head pressed against the window but turned to him, biting back a chuckle at the name. "You look like you're contemplating the meaning of life there, you okay?"

You smiled at him, but could tell he wasn't convinced. "I'm fine, don't worry." You looked back out the window. "I wasn't thinking about much of anything, really."

"I call bullshit," Yoongi said. "There's no way your head is empty." It wasn't, but you didn't want to talk about any of it either. You were tired of answering questions and explaining yourself. Just because you had most of their answers didn't mean you had all of them, nor that you wanted to share them. The car fell back into awkward silence as they realized you weren't going to speak again.

You needed a plan. That's what you forced yourself to think about. You had known Song wouldn't let you go so easily, but you had hoped that offering to return the obscene amount of money Namjoon and his gang were apparently worth would sway things in your favor. You were going to a new location, too, so you wouldn't have a lot of time to scope out an escape route if things went bad.

That was probably why Namjoon had sent these three with you. If it came down to it, you could survive Hobi's driving, Yoongi was probably a better shot than you were, and Jungkook looked like he could hold his own. It also explained why Namjoon didn't come with you himself.

The biggest thing was making sure it looked like you were alone. As much as Yoongi had offered, no one could sit in the meeting with you. It also meant you couldn't be seen getting out of their car.

"How much farther?" You asked as you sat up.

"About a kilometer and a half," Yoongi answered, "why?"

You undid the seat belt. "Drop me off here."

"Why??"

"Because they don't know I'm with anyone and I'd like to keep it that way, so either pull over and let me out, or I'm jumping." Yoongi started pulling over as Jungkook protested.

"But we promised RM-hyung—"

"You did, I didn't." RM must have been Namjoon, and that promise must have been to keep you safe. "I'm a big girl, Bunny Boy, I can take care of myself. Besides, we're in a populated enough area that Hobi should be able to hack into some camera system and you can stalk me that way."

Hobi rolled his eyes, but you could sense the concern rolling off of him in waves. Yoongi gave you the last few directions and told you they would be waiting down the block for you. "Don’t freeze your ass off."

"Busan gets colder." You opened the door and climbed out before they could protest more. You crossed the street with a quick glance to make sure you wouldn't get prematurely hit with a car, then made your way along the sidewalk.

Plan, you needed a plan, and you needed one fast. The biggest issue you had was you didn't know what game they would be playing: Seoul's, or Busan's. A meeting like this in Seoul would consist of an exchange of information and then you potentially getting sniped 24-48 hours later. A meeting like this in Busan would consist of an exchange of information and then you getting stabbed or shot before you even left your seat.

You looked all around you as you weaved through the light crowd on the sidewalk. Wang sent you to a public place, so chances of you getting directly attacked mid-meeting or right after were slim; but the tall buildings around you left far too many opportunities for a sniper open. There were a number of open alleyways that could be used for a quick escape, but the chances of getting cornered in them was also pretty high.

Would they attack you? Or would this be nothing more than breakfast and a send-off? Would they wait until you were back in Busan before joining the many who want your head?

Did you even want to go back to Busan?

...

Okay, nope, you weren't going to think about that right now. Right now was about survival—survive, then you could think about things like that.

If Busan made you good at one thing, it was surviving. If it made you good at two things, it was surviving and improvising. This was a situation where you couldn't plan ahead very far, you'd have to think on your feet in the moment. You couldn't think about it like a game of chess; that would get too complicated and you would get bogged down with details.

It was a game of rock-paper-scissors: either you'd get shot immediately, sometime later, or you wouldn't get shot at all.

Those outcomes were basic enough you could create rough drafts of a plan around. Not getting shot at was ideal, and required the least amount of work behind it, but not getting shot at was also the least likely of these outcomes. Getting shot sometime later had the most variables and was most likely, but later meant you could worry about it later.

Getting shot at immediately was the big problem, and unfortunately one you couldn't really address until you saw the environment you would be dealing with. Would there be lots of space to move around in or would things be cramped in tight? How many people, civilians, casualties could there be? And could you avoid them altogether?

You had stolen the gun beneath Yoongi's seat as you got out of the car, and the weapon was safely tucked into your waistband and hidden by your jacket. You weren't walking into this unarmed. But Seoul liked handling things quietly; the less chaos in the streets, the more the families and gangs could achieve. So for your benefit, and Bangtan's really, you couldn't shoot first.

You stopped in front of a decent-sized coffee shop on the corner. Windows lined the walls facing the street, and you could see a fair amount of customers inside, both standing in line and already seated with their drinks and laptops. Beanie's was printed on a sign hung above the door, with a doodled coffee cup next to it.

It was cute.

Why the fuck did Wang want to meet you here?

What trap were you about to walk into?

You looked around one last time, and from the corner of your eye you caught a glimpse of a familiar black car pulled up against the curb just a block or two away. You didn't glance at it for long—you couldn't, in case you were already being watched—but knowing someone familiar was here gave you a small sense of calm.

They wouldn't let anything happen to you.

Well. They wouldn't let anything within their power happen to you. You had a lot more autonomy than you used to and you were more than capable of getting yourself into and out of trouble; after all, you weren't sixteen anymore.

You took a deep breath and pulled the door open, making a small bell jingle overhead. You were grateful for the rush of warm air against your skin. You looked around the shop but saw no sign of Wang or any of Song's men, at least not inside. You did arrive a bit early, so you could use this time to your advantage. You got in line to order as you made note of everything around you.

There were no booths, just tables and chairs, and those could be used for either offence or defense. Chances were the windows weren't bulletproof, if anything they might be tempered, so there were several easy albeit obvious possible exits. Hot coffee itself could be a weapon and you wondered if asking the barista to make it as hot as possible would tip anyone off.

"You know what?" The man ordering in front of you caught your attention as his voice rose. "I'm never coming back here again. That sign's bullshit!" You took a step to the side to avoid being run over by him as he stormed out.

"Oh my god, so mean," came the came a high-pitched mocking whine from the barista behind the counter, currently flipping the retreating figure off.

"Happy holidays, sir!" A different barista yelled over her coworker, her voice overly chipper the way only someone who worked in customer service and was constantly yelled at could be. "Ohhhhh-kay, Emma, why don't you go take a break in the back, alright?" You watched the man's retreating form for another moment, then stepped up to the counter.

You froze.

"I am so sorry about all that," the barista continued. She hadn't looked at you yet, still pushing buttons on the register, probably clearing out the last order. "Anyways, uh, hi, welcome to Beanie's, what can I—" She finally looked up at you and paused, then broke into a real smile. "Oh my god! Y/N, right? From the ball last night?"

Jin's date, who he had just introduced you to last night, was standing on the other side of the counter.

And suddenly you knew exactly why Wang wanted to meet you here, and you knew exactly what kind of trap you just walked into.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, not bothering to keep your tone light. "Does Jin know you're here?"

She giggled. Giggled. Like she didn't know her life was about to be in danger. "Of course he does! I work here, obviously, and he's gonna stop by for lunch before he heads to his shift at the hospital."

She didn't know her life was about to be in danger.

"Has Jin told you anything?" You watched as her smile fell and her cheery disposition turned confused.

"About what?" She asked in return. You looked her in the eyes for a moment longer. This wasn't clever avoidance, the I know what you're talking about but I can't make it obvious that I know what you're talking about type of look.

She. Didn't. Know. Anything.

Two. They were about to be two members down.

"I'm gonna fucking kill him," you muttered, getting yourself as close to the counter as you could without climbing over it, and leaned over so only she could hear you. "You need to get out of here. Now."

"Why?" She whispered back. At least she had the common sense to look scared.

"You're not safe, not anymore." You glanced over her shoulder. "Is there a way you can get out through the back?" She nodded hesitantly. "Go hide out, call Jin to come get you now, and if you start hearing gunshots you run."

Her eyes went wide at the mention of bullets possibly flying. "I—what?" The bell above the door rang.

You pulled away, back to what a normal customer-employee distance would be. "Yeah, can I get a large black coffee?" Your voice went back to normal, but your eyes kept boring into hers. It took a second too long for her to perk back up.

"Of course!" She smiled and tapped away at the register. "Is that for here or to-go?" She looked at you again, and while you hated the fear you could see badly hidden in her eyes, you knew that fear would help keep her alive.

"For here," you answered, and she visibly relaxed a bit. "I'm meeting someone in a few minutes." She nodded and tapped again.

"Anyone special?" She asked you, her tone almost teasing. At least she was a good actress.

"Afraid not, just business."

"Will that be all today?"

"For right now, yeah." You glanced at the total on the screen facing you and pulled a small stack of cash from your pocket, handing it to her.

"We'll have that ready for you in just a minute," she said as she sorted the money into the register.

"Anna."

She paused, once again confused. "I'm sorry?"

"The name for the order?" You offered. "Anna." Her brows pinched together for a moment, and she looked like she was about to ask about your fake name, but she carried on instead.

"Right, of course, I'm so sorry. We'll have that right out for you." She scurried away to begin making you the drink you weren't planning on drinking and another barista filled her spot to help the person in line behind you.

You took a seat at a table next to one of the windows and looked out at the half-busy street. On the outside, you were fine. Just chilling, waiting patiently for your coffee. On the inside you were screaming. How did you not connect these dots earlier?

Song's men were watching you all night. They saw everyone you interacted with. They made note of who they were and how they could be used; and when they couldn't find much, if anything, on Jin, they turned to his date.

This sweet, innocent girl, who worked at a cheap downtown café and was probably falling in love with one of your old best friends, and had no idea what she was getting herself into.

You were going to kill Jin. He fucking knew better.

And when you ran out, it was her they decided to try and use against you solely because she was a civilian, she was innocent. They were trying to appeal to your humanity while putting you in a Catch 22: do what we want and she won't get hurt. Fight back and she's dead.

You knew Song wouldn't let you leave easily, even if you returned all 8 billion won. They knew you knew something, and they were going to do anything to try and get it out of you, including dragging other people into your mess.

Your simple game of Survival Rock-Paper-Scissors had turned back into the game of chess you were trying to avoid.

You could keep yourself alive. There weren't many scenarios where you would actually wind up dead. Injured, sure, there were plenty of those, but not dead. But you were much less sure of your abilities to keep yourself and someone else alive, especially when that someone else didn't have nearly the same training or skillset as you did.

"Order for Anna!" You twisted in your seat, about to get up and go fetch your coffee, when a set of legs came into view in front of you, stopping your movement. You didn't look up. You didn't need to.

"Please, allow us to get that for you," he said as he sat down in the chair across from you. One of the guards, you assumed, who had come with him went to the front to collect your drink. You turned to face him.

You were out of time.

Mr. Wang was a stout man with more muscle than fat, and probably about the same age as your father, maybe a few years older. He was Song's Right Hand, and you often wondered why Song would send someone so high up the hierarchy just do deal with someone like you.

He smiled. "Good morning, Ms. Lee." It was always unnerving, the way he said your name. Like he knew it was fake.

"Good morning, Mr. Wang." You kept your voice polite, trying to mask your worry with boredom. "I believe you promised me breakfast?"

"And yet you've already paid for your coffee," he said as the steaming drink was placed on the table in front of you. The guard took a seat directly behind you. They were trying to keep the outside appearance of the meeting casual.

"You should've gotten here before me, then."

Wang chuckled. "For someone who didn't want to meet this morning, you certainly are excited."

"The sooner I got here, the sooner I could leave." You were already tired of the forced pleasantries. "Why are we here, Mr. Wang?"

"You know perfectly well why, Ms. Lee. You're a clever girl." A chill ran down your spine at the phrase. It wasn't the first time you'd heard it, but it always carried such a sinister tone. Your father's voice always echoed in your mind. "I'm positive you've already figured it out."

"I have, and it's funny how you think I care." You rested your head against your palm, leaning on your elbow.

That got Wang to pause, but only for a small moment. "I recall you telling me that you didn't deal with innocents."

"If she attended the ball last night, then she isn't all that innocent, is she?" She absolutely was, but the more you could get Wang to think otherwise, the more he would focus on you instead of her. Wang only hummed, and stared you down a moment longer before folding his hands on the table.

"The information, Ms. Lee." His voice was harder now, lower. The small talk was over. The waters had been tested. The pieces were in place.

The game had begun.

"And what information would you like? As I said on the phone, I have plenty, but not much of it requires your attention."

"And as I stated—"

"You'll be the judge of that, yes, yes, I remember." You rolled your eyes and looked back out the window. "Ask away."

Wang was silent. You people-watched as you waited for him to take his turn. There was a small advantage you had over him: he was probably playing seven mind games right now, and whatever happened here would effect most of them. You were only playing this game right now, so all your attention could stay focused here.

It was a very tense two minutes before he spoke again. "The information, Ms. Lee," he repeated.

You turned back to him and smiled ruefully. "And what information would you like?" You asked again. Normally, you could play this game all day, but it wasn't just your life at stake right now. "Specific questions get specific answers, Mr. Wang."

The man let out a sigh, as if he were indulging a young child. "The information on Bangtan, Ms. Lee. We had originally hired you to kill them, still none of them are dead. But surely in the past four months you've managed to do something of use."

Actually, no. You really haven't done anything. Had you not run into Jungkook your first night in Seoul, and had he not mentioned Namjoon's name, perhaps the past four months could have turned out differently.

But instead, in the past four months you've done next to nothing but have a panic attack nearly every day, get maybe two hours of sleep each night, and occasionally run into someone from your past. The only times you actually tried to do what you were hired for was the night you first met Park at the bar, and last night at the ball.

You have done nothing but bullshit your way through this job.

"I've learned a number of things," you told him, "does that count?" Wang only lifted an eyebrow at you, but it had no effect. He was far from intimidating, and you were far from impressed. You continued, "I've learned what the Southern Underground means when they say that the North is boring; I've learned that public transportation is much better here than it is in Busan; and I learned that I am pretty enough for Park Jimin to sleep with."

You have not slept with Park Jimin. You did not want to sleep with Park Jimin. A very large part of you still wanted to cut Park Jimin's dick off.

But if it was going to upset them to think that you did sleep with Park Jimin and that that was the reason he was still alive, then yeah, sure, you slept with Park Jimin. Best sex you've ever had, ate you out like a champ, his hips did not lie.

Wang stayed quiet, merely observing you. You didn't like the way he was looking at you. You expected him to be angry, sure, but there was an air of disappointment about him too. Like he had expected better from you and you had let him down. "So what you're telling me, Ms. Lee, is that we paid you an obscene amount of money—in full, in advance, in cash, just as you required—to kill several people, and you have spent the past four months whoring yourself out to them?"

The hand in your lap curled into a fist and you dug your nails into your palm. It was still sore from last night, but that helped. The pain was the only thing that kept you from reacting to his words.

You hated that word. You hated that word. There was a phantom stinging on your left side, right over your ribs, and your father's voice rang through your head again.

You wanted to be a whore that badly, Darling...

"Well maybe you shouldn't have lied to me." And this was where the bullshitting continued. Wang's eyebrows shot up in surprise at the accusation. He opened his mouth but you kept going. "I am a clever girl, Mr. Wang, and I did my research once I got the job. I'm not sure who is kidnapping women and children, but it's not Bangtan. They're far from saints, but they still have some decent morals."

Wang closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath in, slowly letting it out. You weren't sure if he was buying it or not, but you really hoped he was. "Enough." That single word set you on high alert. It could mean anything. This wasn't how the game usually went.

"Enough," he repeated, then looked over his shoulder at the man behind him. "Call my son, tell him the game is over." Wang stood, and you felt the one behind you stand with him. "Grab her, let's go." A hand grabbed your shoulder.

"Don't fucking touch me." You shoved the hand off and glared up at Wang. "I am not going anywhere."

"Let's not make a scene, Ms. L/N." You froze, eyes wide. "Please make this easy and come quietly."

L/N. They knew who you really were. How did they know? You had been going by Lee Anna for the last six years. This job was far more dangerous than you had ever thought.

You shoved the panic down, Jackson had taught you years ago that you can't panic in the middle of a job, not if you want to stay alive, box it up, shove it down, get the job done, you can break down once you get home.

I'll be there to help you when you do.

"If you didn't want me to make a scene, Mr. Wang, you would've chosen somewhere more private for us to meet." Like hell, would you ever go anywhere quietly. Besides, making a scene gave you several advantages.

Like chaos you could better escape in.

You grabbed your coffee and threw it at Wang, smirking in satisfaction at the cry he let out as the scalding liquid soaked into his suit. The man behind you grabbed your shoulder again, this time more firmly. Instead of pushing him off, you grabbed him by the wrist and stood, twisting his arm around as you moved. He cried out from the pain, his limb in an unnatural position. With your free hand, you pulled the gun from your waistband and shot.

Blood splattered as he dropped and screams erupted from the other customers and employees. You turned and shot the other guard, the one that had sat behind Wang, and though it wasn't a fatal shot the man was still down for the count. You ran to the front, people moving out of the way of the crazy girl with the gun (several of them on their phone probably calling the police), and vaulted yourself over the counter.

You crashed into the back kitchen, calling out for Jin's date. She had followed most of your instructions and gone into the back after making your drink. You saw her pacing in fear by the back door, her phone clutched in her hand. "I told you to run if you heard gunshots!"

"I didn't want to run alone!" Okay, you couldn't really blame her for that. "This leads into the alley out back." You grabbed her hand and shoved her out the door.

"Stay in front of me, run as fast as you can, and whatever you do, do not let go of my hand." Her grip on you turned harsh as she did what you said and the two of you took off running through the alley. "I've got a car waiting two blocks over, but we need to get to it through the alleyways."

"Why?" She was already panting, which didn't bode well for either of you.

"Because we'll be easier targets if we run out on the street. That's probably where the rest of them were waiting." Wang was probably expecting you to run, but he had probably planned for you to run out the front instead of the back. They were bound to follow you, but they'd be behind you, which gave you a better chance of protecting her.

"Who even are they??"

"People who want my head and were willing to use you to get it." She turned to look at you over her shoulder, and you were satisfied at the fear in her eyes. Fear would keep her alert, and hopefully, alive. "Turn left."

You could hear footsteps coming. If you were alone you could just take them on, get it done and over with and leave their bodies as a message: This is what happens when you mess with me. But you couldn't risk anything happening to her, not because of you.

The alley you were running down lead to the street with no other turnoffs you could use. It was still too early in your escape for the two of you to be back out in the open. You risked a glance over your shoulder, trying to see if it was clear enough to turn back, but you didn't get a good look at the man in the distance before Coffee Girl gasped and stuttered to a halt. Your gaze shot forward once more and fell on a dark silhouette holding a gun.

You raised yours to shoot, acting on more on instinct than rationality, when you heard a familiar voice yell out "Joystick!" You recognized the codeword instantly: drop. You wrapped your arm around Coffee Girl's shoulders and forced her and yourself to the ground. Her string of mumbled "oh my god oh my god oh my god" was cut off by a scream as another gunshot sounded followed by a thud.

"Photocopy," Yoongi called to you, signaling that it was clear to get back up. He jogged over to help both of you up, though it quickly turned into you and him trying to help Coffee Girl. "I'd hoped you'd know those."

"Spent a week in Daegu," you told him, looking behind you at the dead body now laying in the alley.

"And you survived?"

"Barely."

"Yoongi?" Coffee Girl asked quietly, her voice shaking. You turned your attention back to her; she wasn't doing okay, not that you expected her to be. "You're involved in this too?" Yoongi gave her his bracket smile in response, but it did little to comfort her.

"Where's the car?"

"Coming back around," Yoongi answered. "Once the gunshots started we needed to appear as though we were fleeing civilians. I jumped out to come find you and J-Hope took the wheel."

"J-Hope?"

"Hoseok."

Dread rushed through you. "Great, Hobi's driving."

"He really has gotten better."

"I call bullshit."

"What is going on?!" Coffee Girl yelled, catching your attention once more. You turned to face her fully and placed your hands on her shoulders, hoping to help ground her a bit.

"Hey," you said, your voice firm but gentle, "I know things are confusing and beyond scary right now, but you gotta keep it together for just a bit longer. We're going to keep you safe, and you're going to be okay, and soon you'll be back with Jin and you can ask him all sorts of questions. Okay?" She took a deep, albeit shaky breath, and nodded. You dropped one hand, then looked at Yoongi. "How much longer until Hobi pulls up?"

"A couple more minutes?" He sounded like he was guessing. "Traffic gets backed up when people start panicking—thanks for that, by the way."

"Remind me to apologize later." You let Coffee Girl go, both of you leaning against the brick. "How many people do we think are looking for us right now?"

Yoongi shrugged. "Can't be too many left, with how many we've alre—"

There was another gunshot, too close for comfort, and the brick next to your head burst in a small spray of rock. Coffee Girl screamed in your ear again, covering her head and dropping to the ground. You dropped with her, trying your best to cover her body with yours while Yoongi shot back. You heard the click of his weapon and a soft fuck.

"Trade me," you told him.

"Not a chance in hell," he protested, dropping into a crouch to trade out the magazine.

"Let me take care of this, Yoongi."

"No."

"Yoongi—"

"We aren't losing you again." That made you pause. In a way, you could understand what he was feeling. There was a big difference between then and now, though.

"I'm not sixteen anymore, Yoongi," you told him, "and beyond that, I've spent plenty of time surviving down south. I can take care of myself. She can't." He turned away, and you recognized the I don't like what you're telling me but I can't argue against it either look. "Get her out of here, and let me go."

He let out a deep breath. "Fine, but I expect you to be right behind us."

"Fine." You stood up to aim for the shooter, and to draw his attention, while Yoongi helped Coffee Girl up enough to get her on her feet so she could run. After a few seconds of not getting shot at, of not seeing anyone, and when you were sure the other two had a chance to get further away, you called out, "What, too scared to shoot?"

"Don't provoke them!" Yoongi hissed at you. You ignored him, taking careful steps backwards.

"Come on, don't be shy! I don't bite hard! And my aim isn't that great!"

"Y/N!"

You rolled your eyes, but turned to follow them, only speeding up when you heard thudding footsteps behind you. So they wouldn't shoot at you, but they'd chase you? That was definitely worth looking into later.

You were right behind Yoongi when you left the alley. The once kind-of-busy street had been essentially abandoned, the occasional car driving past replaced with several police cars; though surprisingly the roadway hadn't been blocked off from any potential oncoming traffic. Then a familiar black car shot past, and the three of you ran for it.

"Don't let her get away!"

Hobi skidded to a stop against the curb just ahead of you, Jungkook jumping out of the back before the car had fully stopped moving. He pulled the passenger door open then raced towards you. Yoongi pushed Coffee Girl forward, Jungkook catching her wrist and pulling her ahead, then pushed her into the front seat. Yoongi went to the side facing the street, flinging the car door open and throwing himself into the back. Jungkook opened the opposite back door, and held it open for you.

You heard the gunshot before you felt it. A hot, tearing pain ripped through your left side right as you dove for the opening. Jungkook jumped in after you, slamming the door as Hobi took off. Coffee Girl was in the passenger seat, probably in shock, and you were sandwiched between Yoongi and Jungkook.

You clutched at the wound, trying to slow down the bleeding, clenching your jaw against the pain. It was a lucky shot. You would need to deep clean your jacket again.

Hobi was focused on driving (and no, he had absolutely not gotten better in the last ten years, you definitely felt just as sick as you used to); Jungkook was leaning around the front seat, trying to talk to Jin's date; and Yoongi was on the phone. You wanted to pay attention to that, to stay focused on something, but the new wound was disturbing an old emotional scar.

You knew what was going to happen. Eventually one of them would notice you were injured, Yoongi would inform Jin, Jin would probably strap you to a medical table so he could take care of the new hole in your body, and then he would see the scar. And then he would tell Namjoon.

And Namjoon couldn't know about it.

Despite knowing better, you leaned your head back and closed your eyes. You needed to stay awake. You needed to stay alive. You needed to not be so damn tired.

You needed Jackson.

Your free hand patted around your jacket pockets, looking for your phone. You needed to call him back, and he definitely needed to know about the shot. You also knew it had been too long since you'd last talked with him, and with the new developments this job had, he needed to be in the loop.

He was also 100% going to get after you for getting injured and for not answering his calls and the sooner you contacted him the sooner he could get every bad word about you out and move on to the important things.

"Where's my phone?" you mumbled, feeling nothing but soft jacket as you continued searching. "What the fuck?" You definitely had it in the café, you had to check and make sure it was on silent so Jackson's calls wouldn't interrupt your meeting.

"You okay?" Yoongi asked, turning his phone receiver away. Jin was no doubt bombarding him with questions about how Coffee Girl was doing.

You tried taking a deep breath, then had to hide a pained grimace you were sure he picked up on. "I can't find my phone."

Yoongi's eyes narrowed. "And beyond that?" he prodded. You didn't look at him, and tried to make the hold you had on your side casual. "Y/N?"

"I smell blood?" Jungkook said, trying to wrap his large body around the front seat. "Are you okay? Did you get hurt?"

"N-no, no, I'm okay." Coffee Girl reminded you of when you were sixteen. You could vaguely remember having been pushed into a dark car, someone you cared about injured and resting in the back, the smell of blood.

"Jin, we have a second problem," Yoongi said into his phone, "and this one's worse. Seok-ah, step on it." Hobi somehow started driving faster, and you squeezed your eyes shut hoping to avoid getting motion sickness on top of what you were already dealing with.

"Y/N-ssi? Did you get hurt?" Jungkook turned his questions to you, and you could hear the same care and concern in his voice that he had in your apartment last night. Honestly, why did he care so much? The kid barely even knew you.

"I'm fine."

"That wasn't the question."

"Yoongi—"

"No, not this time, not when you're bleeding out in the back of my car. Jin, we'll see you at home. Try to keep Namjoon calm."

"Good luck with that," Hobi said, probably to himself, as he whipped the car around a corner. You grunted as the movement made you slide into Jungkook. You held onto your side tighter, trying to hold the wound and yourself together.

Namjoon couldn't know.

"Y/N-ssi, please, that's a lot of blood, let us help you."

"I'll be fine, just get me to the estate—"

"I'm working on it!" Hobi interrupted.

"—and then I'll get stitched up!"

"Would this help?" The quiet voice shocked you, and you turned to see Coffee Girl offering you a rumpled up piece of fabric. "With the bleeding? Your jacket looks a little..." She trailed off, looking for the right word but coming up empty. You didn't blame her.

You blinked at her for a moment. Slowly, your free hand reached out to take the fabric from her. It was her apron, you could see the coffee stains on it now. "Thanks," you told her quietly as you tucked the apron under your blood-stained jacket, wincing a little at the movement.

"Hyung, text Jin, tell him our ETA is five minutes," Hobi spoke up, taking what you recognized as the forever-long driveway back to the estate. If you thought about it, having such a long entrance; Hobi had probably hidden cameras and motion sensors in the trees that lined the road and kept a close eye on them. Any extra time to see that someone is coming could be the difference between life and death.

You leaned your head back and closed your eyes again, trying to mentally prepare yourself to see Namjoon and to fight with Jin. This wasn't the first time you'd been shot, and you could take care of yourself just fine. You knew Jin would have a fully-stocked medical room somewhere in that building, you'd just need someone to point you in that direction and you'd manage on your own.

But Jin wouldn't go down without a serious fight - if at all - and Namjoon was probably losing his mind already. Getting him to stay away from you wouldn't be possible without help from some of the guys.

Really, why wouldn't they all just leave you alone? Why wouldn't everyone leave you alone? No more jobs, no more Jackson, no more past coming back to haunt you.

"Don't fucking fall asleep."

"Min Yoongi I swear to god—"

"You aren't in any state to make threats."

"I don't remember you two fighting like an old married couple," Hobi sighed. "You ready for the panic?"

"Kook, hold Namjoon back," Yoongi said.

"But—"

"Do it. We gotta get Y/N downstairs with as little interference as possible."

"She'll probably need to be carried in," Hobi added.

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" You yelled. "And I can walk!"

"You probably shouldn't though," Jungkook said softly.

"And they are all waiting for us on the front steps," Hobi announced as he pulled up to the estate. You opened your eyes to look out the window. Namjoon had paced himself a little path in the snow, while Jin was endlessly tapping his foot. Jimin and Taehyung had apparently returned and were leaning against the front door. "Good luck to all of you."

"We aren't going to war, hyung."

"OH, yes you are." Hobi put the car in park and everyone but you and Coffee Girl started moving. Yoongi opened the door and climbed out of the car, Hobi and Jungkook following suit. Jin ran up to the passenger door, followed closely by Jimin, who looked a lot more concerned for Coffee Girl than he had seemed with you earlier that morning.

Namjoon tried lunging towards the car and tripped going down the stairs. Tae reached out to catch him before he could fully fall, then pulled him back and said something to him that Namjoon didn't like.

Jin opened the passenger door and immediately began bombarding Coffee Girl with questions. "Are you okay? Did you get hurt at all? I'm sorry, I am so, so sorry."

"Hyung, give her some space, let her get out," Jimin gently chided him, holding his suit jacket in his hand.

Jungkook caught your attention by holding his hand out to you. You looked back and forth between it and his face. You saw nothing but quiet determination and gentle earnestness. "You can trust us," he whispered, repeating his words from last night. You gritted your teeth, and held your side harder.

Namjoon couldn't know.

You glanced back at Jin and Jimin. Coffee Girl was now out of the car, with Jimin's jacket wrapped around her shoulders to help protect her from the cold. You could hear Jin telling her, "I'll be with you as soon as I can, I need to help Y/N, but this is Jimin, he's the one who drinks a lot but he'll take care of you."

"Hey! Don't slander my good name in front of her!"

"Y/N," Jungkook said again, "please." He held his hand closer to you, like that would make you more likely to take it. Jimin wrapped his arm around Coffee Girl and began leading her inside. Yoongi and Hobi had joined Tae in holding Namjoon back. Jin turned his sights on you and any sympathy in his voice vanished.

"Y/N, get out of the car, now."

You really didn't like being bossed around. "Jungkook asked me nicely."

"And you didn't move. My turn. Out. Now."

"You're not—"

"Not your friend right now," Jin interrupted you. "Right now, I'm a doctor trying to save your life and giving you the option of autonomy before I risk making the wound worse and pulling you out."

"You can't do that."

"Try me."

"Hyung, please, let me hand—"

"Three."

"Are you fucking serious Jin??"

"Two."

"Don't fucking touch me!"

"Hyung!"

"One!"

"Can't win the game if you're dead!" Taehyung's voice rang over all of your arguing, the line directed at you. "Is this really how you wanna go? Bleeding out in a car because of some cheap shot and refusing help from your friends?"

…

Well, when he put it that way, no, not really. You'd contemplated your death before, but a cheap shot in the side was never on the list. If and when you did go, you wanted it to be on your own terms.

Not something like this.

You met Jin's eyes, matching his ferocity. "Only you." Namjoon couldn't know.

"If that's what it takes," he yielded easily. "One of us will need to help you with the stairs though, you've lost a lot of blood."

"I haven't lost enough to lose coherence," you mumbled, finally taking Jungkook's outstretched hand. He helped pull you from the vehicle and caught you when you wobbled after standing. Jin turned and quickly made his way up the front steps and into the estate.

Namjoon still stood on the porch, being lightly held back by Hobi and Yoongi, all three of them watching you with concern (and in Yoongi's case, a bit of frustration). You looked away quickly, not wanting to chance making eye contact.

Jungkook helped you take a few steps, your breathing abruptly becoming shallow and labored from the movement. You clutched at your side and felt the stares boring more holes through your jacket. Jungkook paused after getting you up the first step. "Maybe I could carry you again?" he asked timidly. "It'll be faster, and maybe a bit less painless for you."

Maybe it was because you had just been shot, and you had already fought with two of your old friends, and you saved a poor innocent girl from possibly getting killed today. Maybe it was because you wanted to get out of Namjoon's sight as soon as possible, and you wanted Jin get things over with, and you wanted Taehyung's words to get our of your head. Maybe it was because you were tired, and you were in pain, and part of you had already given up. Maybe it was a complex combination of all of these things that made you say yes to Jungkook's offer to carry you for the second time in twenty-four hours.

He picked you up even more gently than he had last night, mindful of your wound, but that didn't stop the pain and discomfort from being put in a new position so quickly, nor from being bounced in his arms, even as he tried to keep you as steady as he could.

You won't admit that you curled into his large chest as you passed the three men still standing and staring at you, hoping to keep them from getting too close a look at you, to keep them from seeing you wince at Namjoon's soft, "Y/N…"

Jungkook carried you into the house and to the door that you assumed led down to the basement, and where Jin kept all his medical things. Going down the staircase was bumpy and Jungkook kept muttering "sorry, sorry, sorry," all the way down. You were relieved once you reached the bottom.

The basement was large, and gave off a more homey and lived-in vibe than the rest of the estate did. There was a section full of gym equipment, a couple large couches in front of a wall with a projector hanging on the ceiling above, and a few table games like pool and table tennis. Another wall had a full bar and an open pantry with stuffed with snacks, and some bookshelves lined with both books and what looked like DVD cases.

It was close to what you expected to see from a bunch of single men in their mid-to-late twenties.

Jin was in one of the rooms that branched off, and Jungkook took you there. It was basically a room taken straight out of a hospital with how many medical supplies Jin had stacked and organized in it, complete with an uncomfortable looking hospital bed that Jungkook gently placed you down on. You leaned back with a sigh of relief to finally be in a more horizontal position.

Jin had a tray of tools and supplies next to him, and he was getting the IV set up. "Upstairs, Kookie," he said, "go help keep Namjoon calm."

"But—"

"Now, Kook. I need to focus."

"Won't you need help though?" Jungkook asked in a last-ditch attempt to stay with you.

That got Jin to pause. He looked at you. "If I do need a second pair of hands, who do you want down here?"

You sighed again, but had an easy answer. "Yoongi." He was Jin's stand-in nurse back when Jin's medical room was the smaller bedroom in his apartment, and if Yoongi did see anything you knew he wouldn't snitch.

Jin nodded, then continued working. "Tell Yoongi to be on stand-by, now up you go." Jungkook rolled his eyes, but left, grumbling something about how even though he's the youngest he can still do things and help people.

"Keep this on." He clipped a sensor onto your middle finger and the screen next to the bed lit up with your vitals. "Okay, first we need to stop that bleeding, then I can insert the IV to start replacing it. I'm guessing you won't let me cut your jacket off you?" Your glare was the only response he received. He exhaled. "Then this is going to hurt."

"I'm already in pain, Jin." You dropped the apron and tugged your jacket off your arms, then rolled your shirt up to expose the injury. It was small, and wasn't complete through your torso. It looked more like a large bug had taken a bite out of you than it did a gunshot wound. The bleeding had started slowing, although it was still constant.

You hoped Jin was too occupied with it to notice your scar directly above it.

"Alright, so what I'll do is clean around it first, then—"

"This isn't my first time being shot, Jin," you told him, beyond exasperated at this point. "I know the process, let's just get it done please."

He didn't say anything back, probably just as done with you. You kept your eyes firmly on the ceiling, despite the brightness of the lights hurting them. Jin worked quickly, just as knowledgeable in the procedure, considering all the bullet wounds he's definitely worked on over the years.

"I don't know my blood type." you said as he tied the tourniquet around your arm.

Jin shrugged. "We're all different types, the seven of us, so I just have a large storage of O-neg. Make a fist." You complied, wincing slightly at the pinch of the needle going in. "Alright, let's get some pain killers in you, shall we?"

You didn't like the feeling of new liquids being forced into your veins, but you did welcome the quick relief they offered. That relief was short-lived, however, as your body started to relax a bit too much and your eyes started drooping.

"Did you sedate me?"

Jin wouldn't look at you. "Your body is going to need plenty of rest in order to fully recover."

"That is a bullshit answer and you know it."

"I'm sorry, Y/N, I truly am, but you've fought just about everyone today, and I can't have you fighting me while I'm trying to take care of you." Your eyes stung from the betrayal he didn't understand.

Instead of responding, you closed your eyes fully and accepted it. It was another things being in Busan had taught you well: accepting things that were happening to you. You had fought as hard as you could, but in the end you weren't strong enough (you never were), so it was time to just accept the will of someone else. Jackson told you time and again that your life would be easier that way.

Your last thought before slipping into unconsciousness was remembering that you still hadn't called him back.

ta-daaaa~~~ thank you again for reading!! please comment and reblog and let me know what you think. hopefully the next chapter will be up soon!! and a super special thank you to my taglist peeps, lemme know if you want to be added to list and subsequently become a Cool Kid™️ @illnevertrustmyselfagain @misschino @youlook-likehell @dany-but-not-targaryen @nyx-goddess-of-choas @fangirl125reader @wordsaremyswords @clowdyblue @tutnotmytea @scentedsope @hope122598 @veronawrites @ayoongiverse @myooniverse @jiminrings @mirahuyooo @cafemyg @lolalee24@elyte @hyungieyoongi @singukieee @hello-neema @thebadassmotherofmyshotas @kawaii-bear @notsooperfect @mintyoonjisworld @glams00 @thisisnotangel @fangirl-and-stuff @dprssdgal @irony-of-living @hobateas @remmykinsff @gukieater @cherrie11113 @lovra974 @girlwithluv0613 @whatsakilo @yoursoontobestepmom @juju-227592 @zahraaelamira @xyahrinx @belladaises @jaiuneamesolitaiire @lookhere-2seok @imnotokayfuckup @rjsmochii @theealanis @mintsugarmy @rosesarehim @smol-grandpa @highly-functioning-mitochondria @jinsquishes @maximofftrash @diamonddia-mond @soliloquyboopboop

#bts #bts mafia #bts mafia au #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts writing #bts angst #yoongi x reader #hobi x reader #jungkook x reader #edge of tonight #part twelve #jin x reader

96 notes · View notes

mayumiiyuu · 2 years

Note

i saw your other taylor swift one for steve and loved it, so. i was wondering if you could do enchanted by taylor swift with steve harrington. something like steve telling the reader how like he is so in love with them?? if that makes sense, tysm!!

s. harrington || enchanted

A/N: naur bc i love taylor swift with all my heart, soul, and body and i absolutely love writing fics under her songs !!! anways, hope u like this :D

Steve stood in the middle of the room, his usual glimmering smile plastered on his face as he talked to the people around him. Music blared through the speakers while some people danced to it, drinks in hand, the mindless chatter of the party made his ears ring.

As much as he liked his social status as the so called 'king of Hawkins High', he couldn't help but yearn for some time alone, with people who actually listened to him when he talked, people who he could have more meaningful conversations than the shallow ones he usually had with the people he hung out with.

Even now, as he faked smiles and laughter, they were talking about some petty high school drama; who was sleeping with who, who got dumped, secrets and gossips filled the air, along with the occasional dirty joke thrown in by one his guy friends.

For a moment, Steve's popularity actually left a bitter taste in his mouth as he wished to be anywhere but here. He glanced around the room, looking for some kind of distraction to cure him of his boredom, or perhaps even a way out, an excuse to get away from the trivial conversation around him.

He felt his heart flutter as soon as his gaze landed on you.

You stood in a corner, chatting with who he assumed was your friend, the brightest, most genuine smile he had ever seen stretched upon your lips, lightly throwing your head back in laughter.

He was immediately enchanted by you.

He nudged his friend on the arm. "Hey, do you know who that girl is? Over there?" He gestures towards you.

His friend follows his gaze. "Ah, yeah, I think she's new here, Tina invited her."

Steve nods, still stealing glances of you. His friend notices and snickers, clapping him on the back.

"What're you waiting for, dude? Go talk to her."

Steve shakes his head, wiping his sweaty palms against his jeans as he thought about approaching you in all your enchanting aura.

"Nah, man, I don't think I can--"

"Aw, come on, dude! It's time you moved on, besides, you're Steve goddamn Harrington! I'll be damned if she doesn't fall head over heels for you as soon as you smile at her."

Steve chuckles, confidence returning to him as his friend continued to nudge him towards you.

"Alright, alright, I'm going."

As he made his way through the crowd of partygoers, he couldn't keep his eyes off of you, mumbling excuse me's whenever he bumped into someone on accident while he passed through.

You giggle at yet another one of your friend's snarky remarks about the party. You were new to the town of Hawkins, having moved from New Orleans to this far quieter, quainter, area. You missed the colorful, lively streets of your home city with it's jazz cafes and various festivals. Observing your downcast demeanor, your newfound friends had decided that you needed some sort of night out to lighten up your dreary mood.

For a moment, your home sickness somewhat fades away and your mood is uplifted with the liveliness of the party, reminding yourself that this was a new start for you, that your life would once again be filled with new experiences and fun adventures.

You spot someone out of the corner of your eye, a boy who you instantly recognize as you glance at his hair. Steve Harrington. Your new friends had filled you in about the inner workings of the school's own social hierarchy, and as far as you knew, this boy happened to be at the top of it all.

He flashed you a smile as he approached you, your friend shooting you a glance as if to ask if you'd be okay talking to him. You give them a smile, assuring them that you'd be fine.

"Hi, " He greets, voice charming as ever. But you knew better than to trust a pretty boy with a splendid reputation as him, looks can be deceiving, as your mother reminded you.

"Hello." You reply pleasantly, taking a sip of your drink.

"I thought I recognized you from one of my classes and just wanted to give you a warm welcome to Hawkins because you're new and all." He leaned his arm against the wall behind you, causing you to quirk your eyebrow, a smirk on your face as you gave your friend a look.

"Thank you, but I've already been welcomed."

"Well, I just thought you'd maybe like for me to show you around, let me introduce you to some new people." The smile on Steve's face never faltered as he tried to make a move on you. Despite his air of confidence, he was a blubbering mess inside his head, searching his brain for some kind of subject, anything, really, just so he could talk to you.

You chuckle lightly, sending your friend a look that read: 'is he being serious right now?', causing them to snort. Steve glances at them, and his nerves start to take over. Get a grip, Harrington, he scolded himself inwardly.

"That's a nice invitation and all, but I think I can make my connections on my own." You say, folding your arms. Right before you can walk away, he grabs you by your hand.

"Listen, I, um, I just don't know how to say this but I--I just wanted to talk to you, get to know you, 'cause you seem pretty cool and all." He admits, all the gravitas from earlier vanishing as he gives you an earnest look.

You exhale, glancing at your friend, shrugging, to signal them that it was okay if they left.

"I'll leave you two be." They say just before leaving, shooting you a knowing smile, to which you playfully rolled your eyes at.

"So, where are you from?" Steve starts, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.

"New Orleans." You answer, taking another sip of your drink.

"Oh, cool, and what made you move here?"

"My dad got a job offer here, better pay and all that."

Steve nods his head, pursing his lips. Okay, so far so good, Steve said to himself in his mind. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling of awkwardness in the air as he tried to make conversation with you.

Suddenly, you grab his hand, leading him across the room.

"Wait, where are we going?"

You smirk at him. "Personally, I'm not a fan of small talk, and it's hard for me to hear you with all this noise."

Once the two of you make your way outside, you take a seat on one of the porch steps, finally getting some sense of peace and quiet.

Steve takes a seat next you, fiddling with his hands.

"So what's your biggest fear?" You ask, completely out of the blue, your question catching him off his guard.

Soon enough, the two of you laugh and converse as if you were old friends catching up. He tells you countless stories of himself that make you cackle, from embarrassing moments to suspenseful ones, while you tell him about your past in your hometown as well as your dreams. He speaks about his future, admits his own fears and insecurities, to which you respond my telling him some of your own sage advice.

Steve doesn't know what's gotten into him, how he could have possibly told everything he did to you, someone who was basically a stranger to him. He doesn't know what it is about you, but he can't help how he feels completely at ease with you, how your enchanting presence seemed to put him under a spell that brought out everything he had once kept inside himself, unsure whether or not his friends would still think of him the same way if he had shared his thoughts and ideas the way he had with you.

In that moment with you, with your twinkling eyes under the porchlight and your golden laughter, he felt as if he could be his own authentic self, no need to hide behind false pretenses and facades. Even if he had attempted to do that, something inside him told him that you were far too sharp to fall for anything like that.

"You know, you're not at all what I thought you'd be." You admit, leaning your chin on your knee as you hugged your legs against your chest while you looked at him.

He laughed, nodding his head. "What, you mean like a stuck up asshole?"

"Exactly like a stuck up asshole, " you chuckle. "But you proved me wrong."

"Well, you're everything I thought you'd be." He gazes at you affectionately.

You cock your head, furrowing your eyebrows at his statement.

"What did you think I was?"

His breath almost catches itself in his throat as he felt how his heart beat frantically at the sight of you, butterflies swarming in his stomach as he heard your melodic voice.

"Absolutely enchanting." He breathes out.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things season 4 #stranger things #stranger things x you #stranger things x yn #steve harrington x yn #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington

204 notes · View notes

musicthatyoucandanceto · 4 months

Text

robin’s opinions about sparks albums 1971-1979

because I wanted to review them like I’ve seen a lot of people do, but I am simply not strong enough to rank them by how much I like them (I love them all dearly). these are all my opinions so please don’t come at me 😇

Self-Titled (1971) (I often wonder how they came up with such genius stuff as their first album, but then again, it’s the Maels and of course they did) Bops: SLOWBOAT!!! 💞💖💗, Saccharin and the War, High C (and many more…)

Flops: Biology 2 :| it's fun sometimes but I usually skip it (as many people do). Sorry not sorry Earle Mankey 🫢

A Woofer in Tweeter’s Clothing (1972)

Bops: Girl 👏 from 👏 Germany 👏 (far beyond the rest of the album imo), Whippings and Apologies

Flops: The Louvre (it’s actually ok but I never feel like I need to listen to it), Batteries Not Included 👎

KIMONO MY HOUSE (1974)!!!!! MY BESTIE!!!!

Bops: Amateur Hour (this is everyone’s favorite but it’s the best song I have ever heard in my life), Barbecutie, Talent is an Asset, and more!

Flops: literally none this is a no skip album. Sometimes Here in Heaven can be a little grating but I never let myself skip it (out of loyalty) 💪

Propaganda (1974)

Bops: B.C. (I am a HUGE B.C. enjoyer), Something for the Girl with Everything, Marry Me, and bonus points to Propaganda because it's cool

Flops: ummm Who Don't Like Kids I guess? or Achoo? but both of those are actually really good, they just have annoying endings so I don't think they count

Indiscreet (1975) << LOVE her

Bops: Looks, Looks, Looks!!! (SLAYS SO HARD), Hospitality on Parade, How Are You Getting Home/Happy Hunting Ground/The Wedding of Jacqueline Kennedy to Russell Mael/Get In The Swing/Under The Table With Her

damn I didn't know I liked Indiscreet this much

Flops: Indiscreet is OOPS ALL BANGERS!!! No flops here :)

Big Beat (1976) ok if I thought I loved Indiscreet I REALLY love Big Beat. It was the first Sparks album I liked and it gets a lot of hate but it's my good time boy

Bops: Confusion!!! Screwed Up!!! I Like Girls!!! (The amount of exclamation points in this post is getting appalling‼️)

Flops: White Women I guess?? It's my least favorite but it's still very well produced in terms of music, I just get squeamish about the lyrics (which is funny bc I'm fine with Throw Her Away And Get A New One). I know the song is ironic but still........

Introducing Sparks (1977) (also my good time boy)

Bops: I looooove Occupation, Forever Young, and Over the Summer and those are just the ones I would rank 10 out of 10!!! There are a lot of other ones that are also fabulous

Flops: Those Mysteries .... I know a lot of people like it but it just does not hit for me. I'm not a huge fan of I'm Not either but it's still a solid 7 out of 10

NUMBER ONE IN HEAVEN (1979)! aka number one in my heart!! ok maybe number three but no one's forcing me to rank them

Bops: La Dolce Vita, Beat the Clock, The Number One Song in Heaven...... but I hate picking favorites.....

Flops: my other voice 😶 it's good but the rest of the album is incredible, show stopping, fantastic, amazing, and other adjectives that describe how my mind was blown when I first listened to it. I think My Other Voice is nice as a lead up to The Number One Song in Heaven but it is my least favorite on the album

#sparks #my 'sparks opinions' tag #this is part one of… five maybe?#(update it's 4)#too many exclamation points

8 notes · View notes

k2ntoss · 3 months

Text

A NICE EX !!! DESTIEL

tw ⭒ none, just destiel angst and them being exes ):

a/n ⭒ i think is was just time for me to write something angsty about my little boyfies, yk.... i hope you enjoy my written through tears shit, i listened to the whole smithereens album while choking my sobs, sorry in advance

words count ⭒ idk, i'll stop doing this bc it makes my head ache lmao

castiel is a nice ex, the kind of ex anyone would love to have because he doesn't talk shit about the person he loved with all of him even when he's not feeling okay.

castiel isn't sleeping because he knows he'll dream with those pretty forest green eyes that used to look at him like he was perfect, he knows he'll hear that raspy and soft voice telling him how much he means. it's been nights when not even the warmth of his covers helped, lights turned off and even low and soft music playing on the background but sleep never came.

it had been over half a year, seven months, three days and ten hours to be precise and he counted every passing second, because he was still friends with sam and even with charlie, there was times when he called them and he could hear dean calling their names from afar, cas voice trembled before he said goodbye almost at the second he heard him.

it was hard, the few times sam had invited castiel to drink something with him he would tell him how's dean been doing, he had someone new and it was one of his past loves; a girl named cassie, how ironic but cas was happy for him because dean was doing fine, or so he thought.

"so... he's doing fine, right?" castiel asks, charlie is sitting by his side, her hand on his arm for some sort of comfort while sam looks at him and sighs "yeah, pretty much fine so maybe you should try going out yourself, dude" he urges, his tone is soft because sam knows how hard this is for cas.

"you're dreamy, cas, i know no person would resist you" charlie gives him a smile, she has always had a pretty way to bring a light to anyone who needed it and here he was, not smiling but letting a soft hum escape his lips before he took a sip from his beer "i don't think i'm ready for something like that yet"

"well, you don't have to actually engage into something too serious, cas" sam tells him and he knows that's true but he has never liked the thought of a one night stand to forget a broken heart "mhm, i don't think that's a good idea" and cas is drinking his whole bottle to try and push away the idea of touching or kissing someone who wasn't dean.

the memories of the last day they were together, the day dean broke up with him are still playing fresh on his mind and it brings a stingy feeling to his chest, a burn to his eyes and a knot to his throat. the night died and cas left that bar where he was with sam and charlie, walking to his house with easy steps, his body feeling dizzy as he remembered how dean looked at him that day, his green eyes flooded with tears and his face red because the conversation escalated to a heated argument.

dean felt like cas had changed, he was different and he tried to hard to do anything and everything by himself, keeping his problems and pretty much any issue he might have for him, never letting dean help or at least listen and well, castiel could solve almost every problem which made him feel good, superior to a lot of people until that started to get home with him, where he would push dean away with a smug smirk to do whatever his boyfriend was doing before just to look at him with an attitude that made dean feel a bit useless.

months were like that, every passing day it became worse for him and cas could feel how it wasn't as perfect as before because dean wouldn't be all giddy to see him at the end of the day, he would just greet him with a short grunt or a quick hug, the love was still there bu it felt so hard to act on it.

"is something going on?" cas voice was soft, his weight on the bed making dean look at him for a couple seconds before he went back to read his book "not at all, everything's just fine" and that was their night talk, he'll turn off the night lamp and turn around to sleep, shifting away when cas's hand tried to reach his waist to pull him closer "it's hot, let's not sleep like that tonight" was one of dean's excuses.

castiel knew something was off, that dean wasn't the same as before but what was different? he was just trying to be better, he was trying to show the world that he wasn't as naive and dumb as everyone thought, he wasn't a mere soldier and that he could do things on his own but that wasn't how it looked for his lover, little did cas knew that it was killing them slowly and painfully.

"i can't keep doing this, castiel, do you think it's fine?" dean's voice was loud, he had just arrived from work and cas tried to talk about their problems "do you know what the main problem here is? it's you, you're fucking all this up" words filled with poison and rage, it was all on his chest and castiel felt the realization "dean, i don't know what you mean, i'm trying to do all of this for us" and the calm tone on his words, the way he seemed to be so oblivious of their issues made him feel angrier.

"you're just doing this for you, man, does it makes you feel so good? it's a fucking pain in the ass, you look like you saw yourself as some kind of god and i hate it, castiel" dean was right in front of him, his index pressed on his chest "i hate all of this, what we've become it's not what i want and it's driving me insane" every single word felt like a stab.

"this is not what i deserve and i'm fucking serious" and castiel knows he's damn right, deep inside him he knew it and he had to let dean go so he couldn't hurt him anymore "i won't come back, this is how it ends" dean walks away and he can see the two bags that wait on the hallway, just like that dean walks away. the engine of the impala roars on the sidewalk and that's the only signal he has.

he had lost dean.

castiel kept playing this scene over and over again each night, when he was walking to his home after a long day at work his words would go around his mind like a broken record but this time it was different because his body went into automatic pilot as soon as he went out of the bar.

his feet walking on their own and he wasn't aware until a voice shook him off his slumber "cas?" that voice and the way his shortened name slipped out of his lips, his heartbeat running wild on his chest he was so sure dean could hear it.

there he was, holding a small shoebox with a bunch of casettes on it right in front of the black chevy impala. still beautiful, still dean winchester. forest green eyes bore into his blue ones and he tried to say something.

"what are you doing here?" he asked softly, not even cas knew it because he never noticed until he called.

"uh, i'm not really sure" his answer came out hoarse, his voice as low as always while he tilted his head a little trying to find out how he ended up standing right in front of the love of his life "it's good to see you're doing fine"

"yeah, fine... i'm doing fine" dean said, a small scoff escaping his lips "you're doing fine, cas?" he asked after leaving the box on baby's roof.

"not really, it's been a hard long time" castiel says looking away, he can feel dean's gaze on him and he fights the urge to get close, to hug him and not let go off him ever again "heard you're happy without me, i hope it's true... it hurts but it's okay, i could handle all the pain in the universe if it was for you"

and dean knows it's true, he knows how much castiel would do for him but he doesn't know where did that got lost before they broke up.

cas thought it would be dumb of him to wait for an answer, he knew dean was doing fine without him so he just walked past him. his hand patting his shoulder when he stood for a second by his side "you know i'd still die for you"

and he left, dean turned around just to look at his figure walking away from him. he wasn't doing fine either, nights were darker and not even cassie could fill the emptiness castiel left. he was left alone once again.

#mara's thoughts #supernatural #dean x castiel #dean winchester x castiel #destiel imagine #destiel angst #dean winchester angst #castiel angst #dean winchester #castiel #destiel

15 notes · View notes

acherontiarchivist · 2 years

Note

Ok so… Gabriel May telling the reader sweet(or dirty <3) nothings while she gets through some period cramps. Bc if Gabriel comforted me in his voice I’d probably just melt 😩

Anon your MIND. I've been obsessing about this all through work the last few days. Literally struggling through bad cramps myself and now I can't stop thinking about synching cycles with him fjabskzksns 🤭

Gabriel May comforting the reader through menstrual cramps under the cut 💜💜💜

Content: menstruation, reader uses female gendered pronouns (as requested), possessiveness (if you squint), dirty talk, voice kink, IMPLIED NSFW 🔞

🚫MINORS DO NOT INTERACT🚫

You don't much mind the harder days anymore. Sure, the pain is unpleasant as always–debilitating at worst, inconvenient at best– but now you have your loving partner to help you through it! And boy, does he make you feel pampered.

Currently, he has you reclined on the couch, propped up by pillows and tucked tight into your favorite blanket, heating pad radiating a relieving warmth. He refuses to let you do any housework, or even get your own glass of water; instead, waiting on your every need himself. About every hour or so he'll stop whatever chore he's working on to check on you; refill your glass, bring you snacks, make sure your heating pad isn't too hot.

Once again, he enters the living room and lightly pets your cheek with the back of his fingers, "How… are you feeling?... Are you comfortable?" You are as cozy as can be, even your favorite candle flickers on the table, emitting a warm floral aroma, he has seen to your every request without hesitation, though… there is one more thing he could do for you.

"Anything you need… I will provide for you… my dearest."

His voice projects softly through your earbuds, though he still kneels by your place on the couch and leans in to brush hair out of your face.

"Come lay with me," a barely audible whisper, but he complies nonetheless.

"Of course," carefully, he wedges himself between you and the couch cushions, laying one leg between yours and resting his head on your shoulder.

His breath tickles your skin and causes your face to flush; you dare not move in fear of him shifting too far away.

"How does this feel… I'm not putting… too much weight on you… am I?"

"Not at all. You could put all your weight on me and I'd be just as snug."

His little snickers echo through your ears, "Is that so?" Immediately, he lifts the blanket and straddles you, tucking his hands between your back and the supportive pillows, then once again leans his head on your shoulder. He must be able to tell how your heartbeat picked up, how your breathing became just slightly more rapid, as he scoots just a little closer, breath ghosting just behind your ear now. "Yes… this is much better."

You reposition the blanket and wrap your arms around him, releasing a contented sigh.

"I've got you trapped in my cage now… I think I'll keep you to myself."

"I'm fine with that," you laugh.

"Good girl."

Shivers travel down your spine, you know what he's often thinking of when he uses that nickname.

Though, as much as he sometimes likes to indulge in carnal desires, he very much cherishes the times where you hold one another, as you are now. He lives for moments like this, where there's nothing in the world but you, and him, slowly breathing in and out together. It's quite peaceful, and so quiet that he can usually hear whatever music you were listening to, though now he can hear nothing at all. "No music today, my dearest?"

"I'd much rather hear your voice."

Somewhat shocked, Gabriel pulls back and straightens out to look you in the eye. He lingers there, speechless for what seems like ages. Evidently, your own sweet nothings meant so much more than that to him. "I don't know… how you love me… like you do."

"How couldn't I? You do so much for me," you pull him in by the chin and kiss his forehead, "plus, you fit perfectly in my lap."

He leans back in for a tighter hug before pulling back just enough to nibble at the flesh of your neck, "I'll do so much more, too…"

Slowly he inches his way down your body, hands gliding restlessly over your sweater in search of the hem, until they finally snake their way underneath. His cold fingers leech the warmth from the heating pad before tossing it aside and pulling you closer by the waist. All the while his favorite pet names flickered and faded in your ears.

My darling

My dearest

My beloved

Mine.

#gabriel may #gabriel may x reader #malignant 2021 #post content #anonymous #slasher x reader

142 notes · View notes

ivysangel · 3 months

Note

drop the mean girls review! my friend wants to go see it and i need to know how much to mentally prepare myself

sunnie (@fic-over-cannon)

Okay, so I need to preface this by saying I'm a huge Mean Girls fan. I've seen the movie dozens of times. I've seen the show on Broadway once and left the theater begging my mom to take me again, and then I cried when the show closed before I could see it again. I've also seen the Mean Girls sequel on multiple occasions (unfortunately). I'm also a fashion lover, music lover, and the enjoyer of some tasteful political incorrectness in a movie like...Mean Girls (2004). I'm not a movie buff or an expert critic, but I am a girl who has spent hours putting Rachel McAdams’ Regina George on mood boards and listening to Taylor Louderman's performance of 'Someone Gets Hurt' from the Mean Girls Original Broadway Cast Recording. With all of that being said, here's my review.

(proceed with caution: spoilers and supreme level hating, cw: mentions of weight)

First of all, the pacing just felt kind of off? I think it's because there were so few scenes set outside of the high school, and I think that has something to do with them cutting 9 songs from the original soundtrack and even the ones they kept; some were still cut short. Which took away some of the best parts of the movie. For instance, Gretchen's part in 'Meet the Plastics' was one of the most memorable parts of the soundtrack, and it was cut down to the one introductory line that wasn't even delivered by her, Karen's part, too. How are you going to call the song 'Meet the Plastics' and only have Regina sing it? I'd also like to mention that in the original song, there's a line that Regina sings, she says, "I never weigh more than 115," and they change it to "that filter you use looks just like me." now, there are two explanations for this, first, they wanted to keep it going with the social media theme which runs rampant throughout the entire movie or they wanted to be mindful of what they put in the movie considering the audience consists heavily of women and young girls. However, there is so so so much emphasis on Regina's weight during the entire rest of the movie (like, I honestly feel more than normal, but I'm not sure) that if it is the latter, it just completely defeats the purpose of removing that line, so I'm really hoping it's the former.

Cady can't sing, or at least I just found her voice, so...not good? Something about it just wasn't giving nuh uh. She also wasn't a convincing mean girl, a convincing socially awkward, not-aware teen girl who had been homeschooled her whole life? Yeah, she nailed that, but a MEAN girl, nope, not convincing at all. This is also where the pacing was off to me. I felt like she was a mean girl for 0.5 minutes, and that, paired with the fact that she just wasn't convincingly mean? Didn't really do it for me.

They also made most of the insults more palatable? Which was fine at times. Like yeah, you should probably refrain from saying slurs in the big year of 2024, but trading social suicide for "socially ruinous," What the hell? How old are we? I just think it's a little funny bc the word suicide isn't okay (apparently), but Kevin G performing a song where he talks about how he basically uses geometry to be good at sex is more appropriate? Like, I don't know what the thought process was, how they decided on what was getting put on the chopping block and what wasn't.

Also, Gretchen gets a solo, and ik it's in the musical, but it feels so incredibly out of place in the movie, like SO out of place. Also, Gretchen is Latina, apparently? Which isn't a problem in the slightest, but it's just mentioned once and never referenced again ever...like at all...not even in passing. They threw in the "this was a gift from my abuelito" for brownie points and called it a day.

Cristopher Briney is one of the most unattractive men I've seen in a while, which is why it's so hard to see so many close-up shots of his face since he's supposed to be the super heart throbby Aaron Samuels that these girls are fighting over. "Cady, tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back." he has a prematurely receding hairline; let's keep the hair down while he still has it. Also, he has no singing lines in the movie, which is so...bc he has them in the original musical. The ending of the original version of 'Someone Gets Hurt' is sung by both him and Regina. Like you hired an ugly man who can't sing to play the sexy heartthrob in a musical? Oh ok.

The fashion was so genuinely terrible. I was mortified. MORTIFIED, I TELL YOU. Regina making fun of other people while she was walking around in #those outfits. I can't even begin to describe what she was wearing half the time, but it was so bad. Ironically, the outfit she wore when she was shunned was like??? one of the more palatable ones, along with her prom dress and the outfit she wore during the burn book scene, which was a nod to Rachel McAdams' Regina George (that was cute). But the outfit she was first shown in...those ugly fucking shoes???? The furry black sweater and highlighter green pants???? What the fuck is going on!!! Everyone was dressed head to toe in shein and cider, and it was obvious. I think the problem with a lot of remakes these days is they develop costumes using trends from a specific era of social media, but those trends so quickly go out of style. Micro trends are the reason why shows and movies set in high school almost never hit the nail on the head, that and the fact that they use influencers as guidelines for how teenagers act when most of us are normalish? idk that's a whole different convo.

i kinda tuned in and out after the gym scene, like idk man i was just mad at that point. I guess I should list some redeeming qualities now?

Tim Meadows reprising his role as Principal Duvall was amazing ofc; his comedic timing is great, and kudos to him for acting through one classic, one flop, and one box office banger that should've been kept in the drafts. Avantika is beautiful, stunning, amazing!! There was nothing about her acting as Karen that really did it for me, but I love her so bad I can't hate on her. Reneé Papp is a fantastic singer like who's surprised? No one? Exactly. They also got Megan Thee Stallion and Chris Olsen to make cameos in tiktoks during the movie, which was funny. It had its good moments, but I really just think for me personally, as an enjoyer of both the original movie and the original musical adaptation, this fell so so so flat. Of course, my opinion doesn't reflect the opinions of everyone, and you may very well love it!! I do definitely urge you to listen to the original versions of 'Meet the Plastics' and 'Someone Gets Hurt' because those are so very good; also, Auli'i Cravalho's rendition of 'Revenge Party' was very good, and I really like Jaquel Spivey as Damian.

Anyway, that's it!

update: forgot to mention the extremely obvious product placement and the way they changed one of the lines in revenge party from “what’s regina doing, what’s regina wearing, is she dating aaron” to “what’s regina doing, what’s regina wearing, is she texting aaron” which is totally harmless but it irked me so bad bc they’re trying sooooo hard to be with the times or whatever and it just ??? like !!! they’re trying TOO hard bc dating was perfectly fine in the context of the plot that’s why it was put there in the first place!!!!

another update: more pros, principal duvall still has a hand injury (funny i like it) AND TINA FEY REPRISING HER ROLE!!! BIG PRO!!! also there’s literally a whole song in the og musical dedicated to the plastics realizing they’re sentient beings that don’t have to rely on regina…and they just cut that out lol? also listen to the og revenge party bc there’s a whole bit where regina cheats on aaron and it’s wildly different in that version (it was better and funnier too) but like i said…they made the movie more palatable.

#★ messages from friends ★#★ sunnie ★

4 notes · View notes

suuho · 1 year

Text

also, another note on the use of in-ear monitors and their function, i think it is incredibly impressive if you manage to perform really well and live on stage without wearing them. musical performers do it all the time, by the way, which is why it is the gold standard for performers and a huge honor if an idol is cast in a musical and earns accolades or rave reviews (highlight's yoseob and btob's eunkwang as well as exo's junmyeon are known as very good musical performers). but anyways, i think the one group i will always think of in that regard is actually seventeen. they used to perform clap on music shows without wearing monitors which is crazy considering how tight that choreography is and the sort of vocal gymnastics especially dokyeom and seungkwan had to do. (this performance of clap is done entirely without in-ear monitors except for dk, and in this performance of aju nice! no one is wearing a monitor.) that is something that is very difficult to achieve especially considering just how high seventeen's performance standard is, which is, after all, partly due to the fact that they have gone through stages like this. they simply had to learn how to sing and perform without these monitors and without the advantage of a backing or click track in their ear. seventeen is a group that is as good as they are because they took the time and effort and dedicated themselves to be that way, which is so admirable.

and yes, it sucks when there actually is an in ear malfunction and you cannot hear yourself on stage. in concerts or on music shows there is a crowd and a track or a band that plays simultaneously while you are supposed to sing and if you take out an in-ear due to malfunction, you will be usually attacked by a wall of sound that makes it near impossible to even parse where your voice sits right now. either you are a super solid vocalist or you have to check in manually to see where you at (when you see idols holding their ear closed, it is to listen to the sound of their own voice (usually done when you harmonize with someone but also in cases like these bc lots of different sounds.)) neither of these things are easy. and it takes a lot of hard work for many to even get to the point to hear the discrepancies in your voice and if you are flat/off key, and even then, sometimes it is impossible to tell when all there is is people screaming at you. another factor is the fact that you can decide what channel to raise in your monitor so a singer, for example, will opt to either hear the guitar or the piano louder than the drums or the bass to be on key. because those are usually the instruments that give you musical cues.

that said, if you are a professional singer you should be able to stand on stage and sing and it should sound fine, because that is literally your job and what is expected of you. and i don't think that is too much to ask for.

#half a #kaz talks svt #and a normal #kaz talks #also i never knew people thought monitors are only for a basic click track?????????#which is btw also important when you play in a band and there is a member missing but you still have to rely on their instrumental parts #(like fall out boy rn without joe)#it is so that every member is synchronized

21 notes · View notes

lunargrapejuice · 1 year

Note

hi hi luna i wanted to participate in your match up event if that's alright <33

details about me: male preference. infp personality type. pretty much a quiet, chill and a lil shy person. hobbies include listening to music and reading. i love rain bc its so comfy to sleep during that time and i really love cuddles too. dislikes include ppl who are rude and loud for no reason and those who put down others for being different. a main quality i would love in a partner is to be a lil patient and encouraging bc its difficult for me to come out of my shell and also respectful flirting, compliments and being touchy in general also make me very weak. the spring vibes prompt i choose is 'sundress'. i hope thats all !!

write at your own pace, you don't need to hurry with this at all <33 stay healthy and hydrated, i hope you have a great week ahead!!

i match you with..

✿ kaeya

it wasn’t unusual for you to steal his attention at any given moment. as soon as he heard your voice or footsteps that sounded like yours or someone else says your name his uncovered eye was searching for you until it landed on its target and you stole his breath, made him wonder if he could keep up his suave and confident act when all he wanted was to bear his heart to you, as burdened and cracked as it is.

and right now, as he saw you walking towards the knights of favonius headquarters just as he was walking down the steps leading to the doors, he wondered if he was truly worthy of your beauty, of your love and if it was selfish of him to reach for it regardless of the answer.

“my, my,” he coos in that sultry voice of his, like he was taking in fine wine but you were much sweeter, and even more gorgeous, glowing under the sun in a dress he hadn’t seen you in before. he smiles, feeling love struck at your flustered state and how you don’t avoid him or the little distance he’s left between you. “don’t you look absolutely beautiful.”

“kaeya..”

his fingers twitch to feel more of you and when you look up at him, with burning cheeks and soft eyes, he gives into his desire, just a bit. slender fingers come up to brush hair from your face, behind your ear, giving him the perfect view of your lovely visage. he lets his touch linger, his thumb caressing your cheek so softly it leaves you wondering if he had touched you at all.

he finds it impossible not to get lost in you; bathed in sunlight, your scent mixing with the smell of blooming flowers that follows the breeze, melting in his touch. the city of freedom always blossomed with beauty and life in the seasons following winter but to kaeya, your knight, you are by far the most lovely thing spring has brought.

and by your reaction, apparently he had said that outloud.

you can’t help but smile, wide and bright with a held back laugh that was music to his ears even though you try to hide it by turning your gaze from his. “come one kae,” you try to brush him off as if he was playfully flirting with you like he often did. “don’t tease me with such cheesy lines.”

“i’m not teasing,” he says, tender and earnest as he reaches for you again and you feel your heart stutter too many times but you still look up at him, without resistance following the gentle way his finger under your chin guides you to face him and he, quieter than before, says, “i would never joke about how you make me feel.”

authors note: lily! <3 hi lovely!🥰💕 thank you for being so sweet and patient while i write these! 🥺💕 i hope you're having a great day and enjoy reading this!🥰 i was so giddy and gushing over our blue haired knight being a total simp over you while i wrote this fsfglkhg please i adore you two together💕💕

main masterlist | blooming love match ups

#blooming love match ups #lovely moots <3 #kaeya #kaeya alberich x reader #kaeya alberich #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader

15 notes · View notes

sphericalbee · 11 days

Text

this is long asf and i know it STARTS w me being like 'i should kms' but im gna spoil it for u all and say that's NOT where it goes lmfao im just dumping out all my thoughts

!! very very rambly, not proofread even once, probably makes no sense and is very cheesy

i wrote a fucking novel holy shit LMFAO no hard feelings if u skip

if i can be kinda depressing for a second i think ab killing myself too much for someone who is basically fine (that might be a lie idk i don't feel like thinking ab it more rn) 😭 like the world just has so many issues i dont wna deal with,,, yk? and it would be so much easier to just move on to whatever's next, bc i KNOW ill have a fuckton of debt in college and have to live through miserable relationships and watch the earth fall apart bc our leaders r so incompetent. even now im living through like 5 genocides, insane global warming, a poverty crisis, inflation, and all of this can be boiled down to greed and hatred

also a lot of kids my age are so horrible for no reason and it's sad to think how many people just absolutely suck ass

but at the same time i won't kill myself bc there are people who i wna make sure get through everything alright, and ik i have good things to live through too

so ive compromised and decided i get to shoot myself in the head when im like 60 if i don't have a wife and the world is still a mess 💀 like i don't wna live longer than i'll enjoy it (lets be reallll global warming will kill us all before i have to do anything anyway)

surprisingly, i got a lot better after reading philosophy books? making sense of the world and appreciating the genius of the philosophers, who were ppl just like me, helps

i feel like ive found so many new ways to think ab and experience the world through philosophy. it's a beautiful part of humanity, trying to understand and having genuine fascination about the way things are and what everything means

good music helps too. yerin baek to fall in love with everything and cry over every single feeling you've ever had ever, universe mongae when that's too much and i have to detach

i listen to universe mongae a lot in class bc my classmates fuckingh SUCKK and she sets me apart from my emotions or feeling lonely when im leaving myself out on purpose bc they're not good people

a few days ago, i was listening to yerin baek as i walked back to school from lunch and the world was suddenly so beautiful and i realised how everyone else has a consciousness and worlds just as real as mine and i fell in love with everyone (by everyone i mean like 30 people)

suddenly i couldn't even care how much i missed out on or the people who i wish loved me more because in the grand scheme of things, im allowed to be careless and love without reciprocation and it won't matter because i hold no more worth than a dragonfly... to have zero expectations for what you could and should feel or be and just enjoy yerin's voice in the moment might be one of the happiest moments i've ever had, honestly

yk whats ironic? it was a love song directed as another person that made me realise i could feel love and not care if i was still no one's favorite. life is beautiful anyway because i can love and make it beautiful on my own

not that my state of 'im fine with loving everyone alone' will last very long. i mean,, im just a mammal LMAO i can't deny my own brain chemistry

even just earlier today i finished the math test earlier and accidentally started thinking ab my childhood. idk why it happened but i did

and i remembered how i was so selfish and couldn't let anyone see i was anything less than perfect

there's one memory where i mispronounced a word and a girl corrected me. and i immediately tried to say, "no i know, but my brother says it that way and i do it too on accident". she called me out, obviously, and i rolled my eyes before whispering "it's true though" in the hope that someone would hear and think "oh she actually knew that"

it's sad to think how i used to be. that's from around 7th grade, i think, so i would've been 11 maybe?

up to a few months ago i would randomly remember that and feel insane anger and hatred for my younger self

it seems so foreign to me now and weird that i could hate a child for being brought up with horrible conditions and lacking emotional maturity. i thought that if i could go back in time i would just look at her and feel bad bc i got so much better since then

maybe even love her idk she's not having fun either 💀 do u think she enjoys holding herself to absolute perfection and looking like a dumbass in front of everyone when that's inevitably impossible??

there was another time that made me so sad to think ab

i got dragged along to my brother's friend's birthday party and some kid did smth rude

and i watched as the kid got chewed out by his mom and then went to apologise to the birthday kid

and the birthday kid just said, so seriously, "I accept your apology"

and i remember thinking smth like 'whoa that's cool id be so embarrassed talking like that'

thinking ab that time (i think i was 12ish maybe) is so crazy. like my parents did such a shit job that i thought i had to be SO ALOOF and above it all that accepting an apology was weak and embarrassing?? jesus i cannot wait to move out 💀 ill send them an email when im gone telling them everything they'd send me back to therapy for

ive been reading too much philosophy, and a lot of that revolves around the meaning of life and how to achieve happiness/catharsis. but i think i have my own conclusion of what it means to be happy even without plato haha

ive never been happier than when i began to forgive and understand myself

it feels like i can live as i want and it's not important. one of my favorite quotes is "i could die tonight and hold no more significance than a dragonfly's death". i wouldn't say im a nihilist but i do like the idea that nothing means anything other than the worlds we have in our minds

it's my mission to make those i care about happy and carve out a good future for myself

ive tried to follow a lifestyle of "i work for my future without ruining my present" but ngl i just ended up anorexic literally three times in the past 5 years 💀 idek what i did wrong like DAMN?? chill tf out hggsdhgfsgd i had a panic attack over eating an extra bit of cheese one time

also fuck my parents for giving me no life skills. raising urself is really hard and you end up with so much internalised bullshit

im honestly so proud of myself for turning everything around after 8th grade

i guess i owe a lot to my classmates for not letting me get away w bullshit and caring ab political issues

it's pretty wild that i cry at movies now when last year i was apathetic all the time

i think i like having feelings? pretty undecided still ngl

i think it's a step up

but i can't even talk to my parents ab how they fucked everything up for me and i had to pull myself out pf the absolute trenchessssss or theyll make me do family therapy and ill end up forgiving them which id rather explode than do

anyway ig my point is if you're having trouble with existence or mental health, pls don't give up on yourself. i promise there's people out there who either love you or will in the future and you just need a few quality coping mechanisms to make it through the day

whether that's antidepressants, the powerpuff girls, philosophy (:33 which it should be), yerin baek (which it also should be), or vent art, find ways to make life liveable until you're ok again. bc you always will be in the end

i probably don't know you but i love you because you have a life and a consciousness

please recognise that about everyone

i read somewhere that everything will always be alright in the end and if it's not okay yet, it's not the end either. it sounds dumb and doesn't really make sense (where's the logic lmao site ur sources at least) but it's such a nice sentiment

i think ummm i will go to school and give all my friends a big hug tmrw so pls don't be sad in the meantime

anyway loossemble's new album is good im so happy for them

this is the happiest and healthiest hyeju's ever looked i lowkey wna cry over how well theyre doing ;v;

also highkey want her to put me in a chokehold like GHSFDFJFSDHGJK those ARMSSSSSS MOTHER??

fuck modhaus tho i hope artms r doing well... fucking jaden jeong ugh

#tw suicide #motivational kind of maybe i think??#i won't kill myself gdfhgggdsad dw i just think ab not having to deal w everything and it seems like such an easy way out #but i got more shit to do!!#ur not getting rid of me for 40 more years at the latest #vent #(??)#not rly #more like #a thought dump #tw anorexia #tw ed #tw eating disorder #just mentioned but still there #personal #thats not even a tag i use im just putting whatever #bye bye #there's a giant ass bug in my shower so i washed my hair in the sink

2 notes · View notes

musicaldamage · 18 days

Text

So having watched the vbw Falco musical recently. Rock Me Amadeus. I have Thoughts™

[ID: the mostly empty Ronacher theatre's auditorium seen from the 2nd floor on the right side. the stage is hidden behind a sort-of wall barrier curtain thing made of squares, some of which are reflective. the "Rock Me Amadeus" logo and an image of Moritz Mausser in character as Falco are projected onto it. Surrounding the stage there are a number of variously-shaped angular mirrors lined with glowing light. (additionally there's my partner's hand forming the peace sign on the right side of the image)]

side note I am irrationally annoyed that the squares of the logo don't line up with the squares of the curtain thing WHAT are they doing

Spoilers and further opinions under the cut

- The cast is stellar. Moritz Mausser is absolutely 100% brilliant, Katharina Gorgi's voice is beautiful, and Alex Melcher is there so that's in some ways already enough for me personally really. though he only really shows up in the 2nd act which is a bit sad. to me

but his presence is good bc. well. a lot of the things I generally value in a musical are kinda meh in this one tbh

- the music is fine! it's mainly Falco songs obviously, which I've been mostly neutral about so far but there definitely are some bangers, and, well, Moritz and Alex singing them sure is a point in favour. the additional songs written specifically for the musical are... I don't think they're bad, mostly, but they have a completely different vibe that doesn't really fit in with the rest. and. actually, some of them are bad. in my opinion. extremely cheesy. what's that doing there. one of them is hella catchy but the chorus lyrics sound like it's for kindergarden, two are just incredibly generic and boring and did I mention cheesy?

- Starting out with calling the day of Falco's death "the day the music died" sure is a claim. nothing to do with whoever is in charge at the vbw being weirdly patriotic (stares at the general Austria(ns) theme of quite a number of vbw musicals)

- Similarly his first sentence "In Wien musst erst sterben, bevor sie dich hochleben lassen" ("In Vienna you gotta die before they celebrate you") which sounds nice and dramatic and all but. come on. dude was #1 in international charts very much during his lifetime. they talk about this in the musical itself. he complains on stage about how the fame and stuff bothers him. where's the dying first part huh Hansi.

- Alex. listen I am stupidly into that guy's whole vibe. his everything. his voice is my favourite kind of male voice and his hair in combination with his entire profile and the lineof his stupid neck make me feel some kind of way. I wanna grab that hair and pull his head back like that one Sandman scene you know the one.

This one. also his tattoos and his absolutely deranged energy and willingness to just go off and do insane things rolling around on the floor. and then suddenly look like an innocent child in awe at seeing snow for the first time of his life. this tangent of Alex Melcher stanning has gone on long enough we'll return to our regularly scheduled musical discussion now

- They're simultaneously trying to make Falco a sympathetic figure while also showing him behaving like a dick. it seems to work bc the audience laughs and gets Emotional but. idk maybe it's me but the "I behave like an egoistic dick to everyone around me including my wife but it's ok bc I'm Misunderstood and actually very Deep and Emotional and I love my wife and need her to keep me sane and also I'm marionetted against my will by my Dark Impulses" shtick is sort of... you can't have him throw his wife to the ground and give zero fucks about her and then half an hour later at his funeral or wake or idk play a quote of him saying "I never hurt anyone other than myself" and have someone else call him empathic and sensitive and expect me to take that seriously and... look maybe I'd like it better if the jokes weren't so incredibly lame

- Female roles?? what's that. there's two (2) that get a name on the cast list (his wife and his mum). one (1) of them gets addressed by name on stage (Isabella, the Wife. his mum is Maria but only if you look at the cast list or the programme). Isabella's role is Sexy Lady turned Caring Wife and Mother who finally Leaves. the mum's role is Nagging Mum (in law) and Comic Relief. there's a second girlfriend (wife? secretary? idek) who apoears in one scene and gets called a name (Caroline) which I only caught bc I was looking at the surtitles. no one gets a personality not even the male characters really no one matters (I mean yes ok it's Falco's Story but ffs let Katharina DO something with her voice maybe)

- have I mentioned the awful dialogue and cheap jokes yet? "the best aspect of the American flag are the red-white-red stripes". terrible flirting with "ladies in uniform" who are trying to do their job when faced with an entitled asshole but of course it's portrayed as hilarious.

- ok so back to Alex Melcher but his role is the most fun part of the thing. he's Falco's "Alter Ego" aka his, idk, hedonistic impulses and desire for fame and admiration and whatnot personified? there's a huge head on stage with a brain and all in it to make sure the audience understands that he is Inside Falco's Head and in case that's not clear enough yet he also verbatim declares that "I'm inside your head" so yeah subtlety is not required in this play. he and Falco/Hans are being incredibly homoerotic the entire time and I am personally offended that they're not kissing, but I'll take Alter Ego pretending to lick Hans's throat and clinging to him like a limpet. I would love to write fanfiction about them actually but I haven't figured out how to do that well when both parties are the same person/one is a personified fragment of the other's mind and not physically present. pity.

- idk I'd just. I'd have done it differently? again it's just. so unsubtle. why does Alter Ego just hover menacingly above the stage in a glass box once or twice during the first act, why didn't they idk put him in as part of the white-clad ensemble and make him stick out more and more instead of the Hovering and then the 5 minutes "I am you and you are me" song at the start of the 2nd act. Have him talk to people while Hans takes a step back to show it's his Dark Side™ taking over idk. I'm sure there'd also be ways to make Hans more actually sympathetic and less of an arse (fewer dumb jokes might help, or giving other characters more of a personality maybe) but yeah idk

- idk there's just. not much of a story? it's a Falco tribute show with some life moments thrown in. there's a Falco song, there's a crisis bc he's out of ideas, now he's taking drugs, now he's happy, now there's a new album without any clue where he got the ideas (was it the drugs?) now there's sth about his wife now his friend is reprising the basic as fuck Live Your Dream song yet again. then it's over and he dies in a car crash and it's all presented like it's all some incredibly deep and moving story but it's just Not That Deep

- I do like the Writer's Block song they put in, don't we all know that feeling

- I'm not sure it's a good idea to use Jeannie of all songs as a recurring motif the way they're doing? "quit living on dreams, life is not what it seems" "lonely little girl boy in a cold cold world" blah blah all nice and well but Do We Remember What This Song Is About. I mean it's a good song I'm not contesting that I like it! (if someone wants to come at me for "endorsing" anything just bc I like the song... just don't) But yeah no matter how good it is I don't think it's very uhhh fitting. Though in retrospect maybe it's meant to portray him as like... Someone At The Mercy Of Sth Evil And/Or More Powerful Than He Is. Fucking over his own life powerless to stop it or sth idk idk

- Generally I think they rely way too much on the use of background projection screens idk it seems lazy. it's fine in some scenes it can work really well but it gets too much and kinda cheesy

End of the random unorganised RMA thoughts yay! It was fun to watch. I know I mostly complain a lot here but it's definitely fun! It's just that a large part of the fun for me was despairing about how bad I found it and waiting for more homoeroticism and also for Alex Melcher to... do the things he's doing

Edit: ALSO I'm not sure if uhhh low-to-mid-key insulting (iirc) two of the three not-Austrian countries he goes to is. Necessary?

#Phoenix babble #rock me amadeus #RMA musical #vbw musicals #German musicals #European musicals #god idk I don't do original posts mostly and no one is talking much about this musical on here as far as I can see so #idk what I'm doing here either

2 notes · View notes

stonyponyofficial · 1 year

Text

hi!!!! :3 here are "some songs" ive been "listening to" that "i" think "you" should too!

spotify || youtube

notes on each below ^w^

Big Dipper - Death Grips: this song has such a good bounce to it, it makes me move no matter what, i cant help it. especially the chorus cuz ill start singing along and, well, then theres no stopping me. ill wiggle in my seat or like put some bounce in my step. which is all fun when im listening to music at home, but at work, where i mostly listen to music, i cant i have to skip the song. plus i love u songs that end with a good few minutes of noise just because, i never skip u i swear 🥺

classic j dies and goes to hell - glass beach: im fiiiinally getting around to glass beach and why didn't ANYONE say it was good? don't think ive heard the opinion that the first glass beach album is good yet. i wanted to listen to more bc of the hazel "Twinkle Park" version of the self titled song which is also very good but i put this one on this list bc it builds energy and emotion soooo well. it starts so somber but builds and builds till we're screaming about supporting each other and making a home for yourself despite despite despite.

DOGTOOTH - Tyler, The Creator: he creates once more! i always forget i had a kinda big tyler thing in high school until he releases new music. out of all his recent releases post-Flower Boy, Call Me didnt connect with me as much, but this single from the Call Me If You Get Lost "estate sale" of stuff that didnt make the album surprisingly did! it feels a little flowerboy-ish in the production but has the call me vibes of like "i can afford all these cars, buy my neighbors house, and ill still take my private plane to Switzerland for the day just cuz i was craving some nice chocolate" very braggadocio, very tyler, very good :)

Dumbass!! - Machine Girl: this song both sounds like and has similar effects as brainworms. it fuckin. got in there and made me quantifiably more insane than i was before. said brainworms make me wanna scream the lyrics and scuffle my feet and just like run into traffic and dance around the cars bc this song makes me believe i could and id be fine. i hope to fucking god they play this at the mg/100 gecs show. this song is also one of the few times ive looked up the lyrics for a machine girl song, usually content to just let the beats jar my head, and as soon as i did i couldnt get them out :) like some sort of... thought... eating... something or other idk theres probably a word for it (<-the worms are finally getting to her)

Fantastic Cat - Takako Minekawa: this song is sooooo cute, there is so much synth and whimsy to be had! unfortunately i don't know much about the artist bc this was one of the first songs i found after using Radiooooo (which u should be basically required to use if u like music and finding new music) set to Japan in the 90s, but she's part of the 'shibuya-kei' genre/subculture that was popular during that time, which sounds like an interesting topic to dive into :3 the whimsy contained in this song is almost too much tho. the melody is so sweet, that wind instrument is so silly, and the moog breakdown in the middle too is. well, its all quite fantastic.

HI 5 - Frost Children: i took too long making this post that this entry went from originally a cheeky indirect plug for their upcoming album bc i just really liked this single to just,, oh the album came out... but either way i wanted to talk about the song bc 2 me its just more proof of how exciting of a voice in hyperpop the frost children are. the bass on it is as crazy and slick as the one on the cover. this whole song just explodes with eccentricity i think ull really like it :) also check out the epic music video! its ai generated for those who'd like to know beforehand, but they use it to like. rotoscope real footage its preddy neat!

Introduce me to your family - Otoboke Beaver: i made a little post recently about Otoboke Beaver's influence on six impala's WFLYTD, and after revisiting their album, Itekoma Hits, after making that post i got this one stuck in my head for a while. the hook hooks (the main reason i had it in my head for so long), the bass is groovy, the guitars are sharp, the rage is channeled, its all here! they keep all the energy going and growing the whole time until you cant help but scream along.

こんがらがった! (Kongaragatta!/Tangled up!)- Necry Talkie: started reading the bocchi manga recently (im just past where the show ends as of now :3) and they have art at the beginning of each chapter with the kessoku band members that references visuals from like irl japanese bands and music videos which i thought was really cool! of course i had to find a collection of all the referenced songs, and what do ya know... this cute little number was in there! (if ur wondering it's the art for chapter 18 that references this song's music video :3) its such a dinky beat at first (said so so lovingly) but it evolves into a precise, energetic little jam.

One Million Dollars - 100 gecs: this fucking sonnng.. not everyones fav off 10k i know but it is for me :3 it just rattles me in such a specific way. it originated and is the only way to sate the need in my brain to hear what it was like for nic cage in that "not the bees!!!!" scene. i love it sm, but im absolutely biased from my hearing this at a gec show and falling for it right then and there. the live version and the album version are a bit different and i think the changes they made for the album make it a fuller song i just. loved the feeling of hearing this live so much. i would just search up the epic live version at terminal 5 where Laura fucking SHREDS on the guitar at the end over and over while i was waiting for the album. again, makes me very excitied to see them and machine girl soon :3

o (__*) - Hakushi Hasegawa: i dont know much about this artist but goddamn the few songs i have heard from them have made such an impression. u know a song is good when its not even dnb but uses the "yeah.. woo!" sample to keep everything going. and yeah with how crazy fucking banana bonkers jazzy and technical the drums and piano get at times it needs that tiny bit of stability at least. this song feels like the epitome of controlled chaos in the absolute best way possible.

PARTY GIRL - Angel Electronics: after rook's latest solo album came out i decided to go back and visit this collab project of hers with ash nerve i had missed at first and.... weeeeeeh ;w; this song makes me wanna cry every time. rook can obviously write some bangers but i love her more tender songs too. so many parts come together to make it just the sweetest thing. the part that stuck with me the most was the chorus, like it's sooo cute id just sing it to myself on loop bc it leads into itself so well. i wanna just keep talking about how fucking cute this song is but like George Costanza voice the love story between the party girl and the weird shy girl got to me okay?

Prime - Marnie Stern: kinda the reason im making this list hehe :3 this song was on char 'igottawin' mp3's most recent WILT (what im listening to) poast (hi char :3) and it was What Im was Listening To... too... (both of us bc of this epic animation) so here it is on MY knockoff WILT post too mwahaha hahaha! haha but seriously guys this song is quite good. it does so much with all the variations on just that one verse and i get sucked into the lyrics and the guitars. and by the fourth time im chanting this same unending verse the song is surprisingly over and i just wanna listen to it again. this one deserves a 10 hr extended version frfr

Wait and Bleed - Slipknot & 青春コンプレックス(Seishun Complex) - Kessoku Band: whats this? a double entry? ahaha yes! 😈 i would've put these songs here separately bc ive been getting into both slipknot (thank u char :3) and the actual kessoku band album, both of which are quite good on their own. but i only combine their entries here bc of this epic mashup of these two songs by the aforementioned rook blackdresses which makes me unable to sing either without thinking of the other song. like the first three chords of the bocchi theme start playing and my brain wants to scream the GOODBYEEEEEE from Wait and Bleed. the slipknot chorus melds with the kessoku band guitars soooo well. to me they are pieces from different puzzles entirely but they still fit together <3

wants mom to know she looks cool and doesn't plan on changing - leroy: i finally listened to the dariacore and accompanying berdlycore serieseses and ive loved diving into this little subculture of silly hyperpop meme mashups that fuck immensely. takes the silly to earnest and very good pipeline to a new level. plus having been a fan of dltzk and jane's other stuff its the one thing i never really got into but there are. so many dariacore related things i need to listen to now. i feel like theres lore i have to catch up on but im excitied :3 this is one of my faves off dariacore 2: electaria corebaloo (not what its called)

This has been... Post! thanks for your time. if u read this far i love u so much please never forget that. 'til summer music-heads! *curtsies and shows myself off-stage*

#violet originals #some songs #i guess that's what im gonna call these hehe :3 #ik how very laid back and noncommittal of me #i wanna do these kinda regularly but idk how often ill have new music to share #so i think a good compromise schedule-wise is seasonally? but if it strikes my fancy i wont stop myself from doing a 'spring 2' so to speak #anyway music love music love sharing music with others <3 #thanks to char mp3 for inspiring um. all of this i suppose :3 <3 #read her WILTs too theyre even better than mine #(also i know i use a lot of parentheses i just have thoughts about my thoughts.okay?)

10 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

dailybuongiorno-blog

Drugs Are Bad

granpa-76

題名未設定

joanluciano-blog

~*Joan*~

arenn-tachibana

CROQUIS*arenn.

sara-danica-and-other-babes

Danica, Sara and other Babes