#and now I'll try not to spend anymore money on this kind of stuff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

princedesnuees · 1 month

Text

CALL ME MAYBE — gn!reader x jaehyun.

pairing: gn!reader x jaehyun. genre: hurt/comfort, angst, smut. summary: you work as a phone sex operator. naturally, one of your customer wants something a bit specific... warnings: phone sex. words: 1.5k

It is your duty to take care of your customer during the allotted time. This is your job as a phone sex operator, after all. The call time is determined by the amount paid. Some customers just need twenty minutes. Sometimes much more. Maybe all day. Maybe the entire night. You don't mind, you like doing this. What just was for spending time changed into a real full time job. Everybody says you're made for this. And you would be a liar if you say that you're not good at satisfying your phone correspondent.

It's late at night. You've just ended with an old man. The lonely kind, not really interesting, quite sad actually. But you had nice time. At the end, he sounded happy and thanked you before hang up. Mission accomplished.

And now, what?

You don't have time to think. The phone's ringing.

You pick up, comfortably seated in your chair. Usually, it's you who starts the conversation. And you were willing to do so, until a voice rises from the receiver.

"Hi."

As usual, it's a man. You smile against the phone. What a soft, deep voice you hear.

"Hey baby… How you doing?"

"Not really good."

"Oh… Would you like speak about it?"

Other usual part of your job: the therapist side. You are used to listening to your customers complaining about their life, what's going on, what weighs on them. And it's a side of this job you truly like. Get to know someone. Their past, their present. What they went through. Their dreams, their fears. You can imagine every details just by closing your eyes. And in all these stories, all you have to do is listen and comfort them in a very special way.

"My wife left me."

"Baby. I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. I was never there for her."

"How do you feel?"

"In a shitty way."

"Need me to reassure you a little…?"

"Yeah. That's why I phoned you. They say… You're a good listener."

"And I will. Do you mind telling me your name?"

"Call me Jay."

"Jay… What a sweet name."

"I'll pay for one hour. Maybe more."

"Alright, Jay. I'm all yours. What do you need tonight?"

"Someone who can… help me to make the pain go."

"You feel really, really sad about what happened, don't you…"

"Yeah."

You listen closely, and then hear like a sob. Of course, it must be awfully difficult.

"You were together since a long time?"

"Almost five years. I've been… dumb. Y'know. Too much taken by my career. Money, fame, all that stuff. But now… It just doesn't have sense anymore. I realized it too late."

Sadness is blending to his voice.

"Baby… Everything will be okay. Don't blame yourself. You did your best." You whisper on a reassuring tone.

"I even wonder if she cheated on me. No. I know she did."

"Don't think about it. Think about yourself and your well-being. I'm here for you baby. Just ask me something that could bring you joy. Anything I can do."

"It's been a couple of weeks I didn't cum, you know. I can't anymore. That makes me sad when I try with someone else, and I don't like to do it alone. Watching porn doesn't do anything to me. I even feel disgusted."

"Okay, sweetheart. Do you want me to talk, to help you cum?"

"… Yeah. I want."

"Are you sitting comfortably?"

"I'm on the ground of my kitchen."

Oh. That's unusual.

"Everything's okay, baby?…" You want to be sure.

"Yeah. I was… cooking when I started to feel bad. Really bad. My wife used to prepare diner before I got home. It reminded me her, while she was cooking. That's stupid, I know."

"Not, it's not. Jay, don't think your feeling are stupids. They are important, and so you are."

"Maybe."

"Would you like to stay here?"

"Yeah. Don't want to go upstairs. It's okay. The tiles are warm now."

And then, you hear a soft laugh. Really, really soft. Almost inaudible. But that makes you smile.

"Fine, Jay. Let's start. Remember, this is your moment. You can ask me whatever you want or need."

"Okay."

"Relax yourself, baby… I'm here. I'm with you. Imagine me, standing by your side. You're not alone. I can hug you if you want. Do you?"

"Yeah."

"I'm here, my arms around your waist… You can put your head on my shoulder, close your eyes…" At this moment, your voice was akin to that of a mother soothing her child. A gentle, nurturing voice, one in which everyone would like to take refuge. This is the way you do. Comforting your visitor the time they come to you. "There… How do you feel, baby?"

A long silence responds. But you're not worried. Some people need this time. Time that life didn't grant them. And you were right. A few seconds later, his voice arises.

"I… feel good…"

"Can you feel my hand on your hips, right now? Can you… feel… my warmth enveloping you?"

"Hmm…"

You listen, carefully. Each sound is an important hint of your customer's mood.

"Jay… I'm sure… you have… a wonderful body… Don't you? Because I can sense it just by touching you."

"Touch me more."

"Where do you want me to touch, baby?"

"Go under my shirt."

"Alright. I'm here, right now… Do you feel it? My hand on your body… It's warm, Jay…"

"Yeah… Warm."

"Can I go on your thighs? I promise, I'm not heavy… And… this will be… more pleasant."

"Go on."

"Aah… It's been… a while since… I went over a man like you…"

"Hmm…"

You hear him moaning, proof that he begins to feel really relaxed. Perfect.

"You know… Since I am all yours… Would you like to… try something with me?"

"Yeah."

"Can we put off this belt? Let me do it for you… There…"

His breath is heavier. You don't have intention to stop.

"Hey, Jay… Don't you feel… too tight…?"

"I… I'm… I try to… caressing… myself…"

"That's good… Do it at your pace, baby, okay?… What are you thinking about…?"

"You. Your pelvis… against mine…"

"Hmm… This is exactly… what I do… Can you feel me… rubbing gently on you…?"

"Yeah. I… fucking feel it."

Your smile is wider. Maybe you've started to caress yourself, too.

"Jay… Is that a big, generous and warm cock I can feel beneath these pants…?"

"Fuck…"

"Yeah, that is. Oh my god… It's harder and harder… Hmm…"

"Touch it."

"It's been a while you didn't use your pretty cock, Jay… But don't worry because… Tonight… This will change. And I can assure you… That you're well-endowed. To be honest, I've rarely seen a beautiful cock like yours during a while."

"Shit, this is… Aaah… Take it in your hand."

"And I'm doing, baby. There… Just under your underwear… There it is… Hello, beautiful one…"

You can imagine the size wobbling in your little hand.

"Look, I can't even take it in one hand… And you're not this hard yet… Jesus…"

"P-put your goddamn…"

"Hmm ? My…"

"You're goddamn lips."

"Baby… You want me to suck your big dick?"

"Fucking do it."

"There I am… My lips all over your tip… Like this… Hmm… Your… delicious… huge… cock…"

He's moaning louder each second. This is astonishing how his voice can be this deep. You've never heard this kind of tone before, this is arousing you in your chair. Thighs closed, you're trembling like a leaf.

"Jay… I'm gonna… swallow it… entirely… Is that okay for you, baby?…"

"Don't ask: go for it. Eat it. Make it disappear inside your little mouth."

"I'm coming, baby. Let yourself go, I'm going to devour your lovely cock. My tongue wrapped around your pretty veins… Do you see me? Going up and down… Tongue lapping your dick, like a thirsty bitch… Hmm… God, you have such a wondrous taste…"

There you are. Your slow, erotic tone who made fall so many men before. It's not difficult to imagine your client masturbating himself like a damn one. You almost can hear him doing so. His wonderful cock you are sucking until the last drop.

"Fuck… Fuuuuu…. I… Aaaaah… This is… so… fucking good… Haaan…"

"Yeah baby? Do you want me to go faster? Let me do…"

"I… I gonna…"

"Your little whore is going to swallow everything until your balls are totally empty, you know that, Jay…?"

"H-… Oh my…! Hmmm… AAAAH !"

And there are the fireworks. Your man's voice explodes with magnificence. You let him enjoy this moment. His moment. A slight smile on your lips covered by his generous cum. You clean up the little mess by one movement of your tongue.

"Is this good, baby…?"

"Hell… Yeah… I… 've just… stained myself."

"You must be lovely. I'd love to see you, right now…"

"Fucking Christ. I had so much in my balls."

"Do you feel better, now?"

"Fuck yes. Much better."

"Can I lick your cum?"

"Come here, honey."

Oh yeah. You were going to find him soon as expected.

#jaehyun smut #nct smut #jaehyun x reader #nct 127 #jung jaehyun #jaehyun #smut #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun fic

104 notes · View notes

natriae · 1 year

Text

WEDDING REVENGE. MIYA ATSUMU

timeskip! Miya Atsumu x Fem! Reader

a/n: This is extremely self indulging with some stuff i've been dealing with lately and i just want comfort

C/W: MINORS DNI, VERY VERY HEAVY, mentions of sh (not in detail) , suicidal thoughts, panic attack, sexualish content, reader is from a country that doesn't speak japanese

You're not mad at Miya Atsumu. You're disappointed that's for sure. Now you have to get on the plane by yourself and try not to break down at this wedding all alone. Always alone, huh. They were right you will always be alone.

You left that place to prove yourself. Prove to them that you could survive the harsh world alone. You would grow and you didn't need them. You left them because it was good for you. But now you're going back. You wanted to come back stronger, and more successful then any of them.

You were successful that's for sure. You had your dream job. Athletic trainer for MSBY in osaka, Japan. You chased your dream and you didn't stop till you made it, but you were alone. You left "home" for a place thousands of miles away right after college. You only knew enough Japanese to get around, but you were determined to learn and live there, but now you are going back. Yes, it was just for a few days but you wished you never had too.

The memories held there were to much to bear. The people you will see, the voices you will hear, and the scents. Not only will you be battling the trauma you experienced but you will have to experience all of the people that were apart of it first hand.

please dont talk to me. please don't notice im there now that im alone.

Atsumu was kind. When he over heard you were going to a wedding ( you never actually said if you were going or not) he had asked if you were going alone. He could see your hesitancy. You repeated once again that you weren't sure if you were going, but if you were you would be alone. "i'll go with ya" He had said with a smile. You never got to say no, but you found comfort in his response. Glad he would be there with you. You wouldn't be alone anymore.

You bought the plane tickets and he sent you money for his. You felt happy that he was gonna go with you. You felt more secure knowing that he was gonna be with you. Someone who was like you. From the few times you guys hung out he accepted you for you. He listened to your interests and never made you feel invisible.

Now it felt like the times you would go home to an empty apartment. That didn't change till recently when every weekend Atsumu would come knocking at your door just to walk in and spend several hours on your couch bothering you.

-----------------------------‐--------------------

The actual service was over and now it was the reception. You saw them. The ones that hurt you. They were still together and they still seemed happy. They had each other. You on the other hand still felt out of touch. Like you weren't welcome here or accepted here.

Walking in to the reception their words from highschool were eating at you. It took so many years to get better. So many years spent grieving. So many years spent telling yourself that you were worth being alive. So many god damn years spent being comfortable by yourself and now all of it came crashing down.

They never had to feel the pain you did and it wasn't fair. Why didn't you just do it all those years ago. The pain would have ended. They would have understood how much pain they caused you. The confidence was gone. You felt like the same weak 16 year old. Nothing has changed.

Little did you know a 6'1 asshole with a slightly better blonde dye job was walking through the door to the resception asking everyone he incountered, in broken (your native language) if they had seen you. Thank god he knew who not to talk too.

One time after work he took you to Onigiri Miya and spent the whole night trying to break you to get you to tell him about your past. Not once did he look away from you as you spoke. It honestly was probably the longest Miya Atsumu has been quiet.

Once he saw you his signature grin appeared on his face and he lifted his hand up in the air and began to wave at you. You couldn't help but smile watching him. He was always so confident. Out of the corner of your eye you could see them watching. They had made a face. They must have been confused to see you with a friend let alone one they have never seen before. He ran over to your table and said "surprise!...are ya okay?". He genuinely seemed worried. That was new. Normally people don't care what you feel. Normally they try and steer the conversation away or not even look at you. Yet once again Miya Atsumu was watching you. Really watching you. "if yer not okay we can get outta 'ere"

"i'm okay. I promise," You faked a smile at him.

"okay stop sittin and lets dance," His grin appeared on his face again and he grabbed your hand. Somehow he walked to the dance floor like he's been here all night. Like he knew everyone here and was ready to have a good time.

What they say about him was true. He knew exactly how to stop time and make you feel like the most important person in the world. It was so god damn hard. How easily he was able to breakdown your walls, and have you fall into his arms at any given moment. The last thing you wanted was for all of this to be a joke. For him to just to be pretending so you give him attention and then leave you and have you question if you ever really knew him. Because you thought you knew a lot of people, but all of them hurt you and left.

"hey, the people behind me right now. They're the ones that hurt you right," He lightly moved his head back while still dancing to the music.

"yeah," you sighed out in response not exactly wanting to talk about them after trying to ignore them all night.

"i fuckin' hate her smug face back there. I saw it when I walked in 'an i knew that it was 'er." he said like she directly offended him. You let out a little giggle at that lookin at the ground. A little quieter and a little closer to you he lifted up your head with his fingers and told you "thats why i made such a scene when i came in. I wanted her and all of 'em to see that you have such a tall, sexy, muscular man on your side," He smirked at that and you couldn't help but let out a bigger laugh at that. Throwing you head back and immediately putting it back into place and covering your mouth. It's been a while since someone has made you felt this comfortable. He laughed at your wide eyes and shocked face holding his stomach. If people weren't looking at you guys before they definitely were now. You grabbed his arms and told him to shush while still giggling over the situation. Because he kept moving the two of you in circles when you looked up you made directed eye contact with her.

Your laughing stopped and your smile dropped just like you heart. All the memories came flooding back. The nights filled with with pain in more then one way. Filled with so many questions questions of why? And the fact that they just kept coming back to torture you more. They found every way to remind you that they were doing fine with out you. That they had no remorse for the pain they caused you. That they would always side with her no matter the amount of proof you had.

You didn't even realize his laughter had died down and he was now looking at you like he was trying to finish a puzzle, but that very last piece couldn't be found. "hey. Hey look at me. Let's go outside, yeah," he jerked his head towards the door and began to move your body towards them. He kept looking towards the door and back to you.

Once outside he sat you down at a bench and kept his hand on yours that was resting on your thigh and thats when you felt it. The heavy feeling on your chest and the racing thoughts. Thoughts about the fact that they are all talking about you. That you are still weak running away from your problems. Your stuck in the constant loop. She still had so much power over you. That if you just learned to keep your mouth shut none of this would have happened. Before you realized it was hard to breath, see, and even to hear. It's been a long time since you've had an attack like this. And it's so so embarrassing. You could hear small 'hey's said and his hands never left your body. He held them on your shoulders to keep you rooted to you seat. You could see him in your line of sight but everything was blurry. Like he was a ghost you made up to comfort you. He couldn't really be here. You didn't snap back into reality till you heard his calm voice tell you to breathe and him lifting you up to place you on his lap. He took of his suit jacket and placed it so it covered both of your faces. It layed on both of your heads and probably looked really stupid, but that didn't matter. All you could see was him.

"breathe with me," is what you heard him say. He exaggeratly breathed in and began to count. He did the same to breathe out. It was hard and you were doing those stupid little inhale hiccups trying to catch your breath. "ya are safe with me, okay." He held you close to him and held you tight. This is all you've ever wanted. He stayed and held you through it.

He didn't take his jacket off your heads still you stopped crying. A few tears would slip here and there but he was quick to wipe them. "when your ready were gonna go back there an kick some ass," you let out a little giggle at that again. He really knew you. He knew exactly what to do to brighten your day.

Before you could look over he watch the group of them leave the building. They were definitely looking for you because they were obsessed. That's all he could think. He thought they were sad human beings that had nothing better to then tear others down because they didn't feel good about themselves. You looked up at him and behind him you could see them looking around. Once they spotted you they began to converse with one another like they weren't searching for you.

Then the fire started in your gut. You could feeling nothing more then the years worth on anger bubbling inside you. You got up and began walking over there. You knew that Atsumu would hold you back when he needed to but right now he was to excited to see the drama unfold.

Before you knew it your fist collided with her nose. She fell back and then rest of them grabbed her and began asking if she was okay and calling you names. "alright little one it's time for you to go back to you hotel," Atsumu said as he rushed over to where you stood. He's never seen you this angry, and he knew that if he didn't stop you now it would end really badly. He asked you where your rental car was and took you back to it so you guys could leave the party.

You guys sat in your car in a comfortable silence as the sun went down and your tears slowly came to an end. "God knows how long i've waited to do that," you giggled. You felt crazy, but so much more free. Surpised that Atsumu didn't say anything you looked over.

He was just watching you. Love stuck puppy eyes on his face. You began to worry. He looked as though he was think a lot, and that was never a good sign. You felt stronger about yourself at this moment so you took the leap and decided to ask him what was up. "what are ya thinkin about," .

It took him so time to spit it out like he was worried you would punch him in the face too. "that was just- that was really hot,". Not in a million years did you imagine the Miya Atsumu would be calling you hot. He still looked at you like you put the stars in the sky but all you did was punch a girl from high school. "i-i've liked you for some time now, and i know that I sound stupid and you probably aren't ready for a relationship but god," he let got a breath that was similar to a giggle. He threw his head back and said "god what have ya done to me," He let out a longer laugh at that. After taking a deep breath in he looked directly into you eyes. "god i wanna kiss ya so badly. I wanna kiss you till all ya can think about is me" He said all while shaking his head slowly like he was fighting the words in his head.

"do it," is all you could say quietly with a breathy air to it. You kept looking between his eyes and his mouth. This was all so much but he just knew you. He knew what could get you to fall into him, and some how he knew your boundries.

He slammed his lips into yours and kissed you like he would never be able to again. If this is what Heaven is like you want to bask in its sunlight till you fry up and can't move. He leaned so far over the console just to chase your lips, and it seems as though he was holding himself back from crawling right over it and directly into you seat. You pushed him back a bit and got up on your knees. This time you were reaching over the console just to chase the lips you had to tell be quiet all the time. With the amount of filthy words that left his mouth all the time his lips were surpisingly sweet. He knew exactly when to bite, kiss, and lick. Could there possible be anything he wasn't good at. You felt his lips curve up into their signature smirk as you kissed and it made it all the hotter. Your sure the windows were fogged up at this point and it was so hard to not climb onto his lap and start unzipping your dress and unbutton his white button up.

He was right just from a kiss all you could think about was him. You wanted to see his abs in all their glory. You wanted to see his V-line more then just the teasing you saw when he stretched. You wanted to see where it lead and the rest of his happy trail. You wanted to see his thighs and bite and suck on them till he couldn't hide the hickeys. You wanted to hold on to his muscular back. Leaving long sratches down it so that ever time he moved he would remember the night you guys had together.

Once again it was hard to breathe, but this loss of breath felt much better. "please come stay at my hotel room" you asked. You hadn't realized the face you were making to him. Pupils blown out and lips swollen with need. You needed him, and he would never deny you of that.

"yes yes of course i will," At that you moved back to sitting in your seat and put your seatbelt on. Taking a deep breath you began to reverse out of the parking spot. Wow, today was eventful.

i wanna make a part 2 but ive never written smut before so its probably gonna be bad :,(

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff #atsumu x reader #atsumu miya #atsumu imagine #haikyuu atsumu #atsumu #atsumu smut #miya atsumu fluff #haikyuu atsumu miya #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu

135 notes · View notes

alder-saan · 1 year

Text

A knight on a white horse

Brienne of Tarth x afab reader

(I say afab bcz well... there is no trans person in GOT, I guess, so may be in this world that is not even a question. I'll try to not to gender R, but the entire plot is based on R being a single parent perceived as a mother so...)

Warnings : mention of sexual abuse and bullying, insults

Wordcount : ~3000

Angst, little fluff ?

You were the mother of a child, a wonderful little girl, but she had no father since he had decided to leave you for an other woman, before her birth. Now you two lived in your house, but a being an unmarried woman was not well thought of in your village. And this day, your daughter disappeared...

SPOILS FINAL SEASON (at the very end of the fic)

Being a single mother in this town was hard. You had been in love with a highborn man who told you he would marry you and live with you in a big castle. He told you you would never have to work, and you could spend all of your time dancing at the balls, learning how to read, how to embroider... He told you you were the one in his life, you were his soulmate. And you believed him. Because he said he loved you. But you soon understood he was lying. All of this was an horrible lie for him to had sex with you. And when he found out you were pregnant, he just left you alone. When your parent learnt you were in an outside of marriage relationship, they kicked you out.

You walked to this town and started a new life. You had to work hard, you had to sleep in stables. You needed money to find some decent home for the child you would have. Every day you would work in the fields, collecting carrots, cabbages, and other vegetables, for a miserable wage. Sometimes, your employer would try to touch you, as you were "a little whore who opened her legs to anyone and managed to get knocked up by a stranger" (why would you try to tell him that was not a stranger but the lord of the land ? It would have made no difference). Sometimes you would successfully stop him. Sometimes not.

You finally found an old woman, Ariee, who hosted you for almost nothing. She was the only really kind person here. Thanks to her, you were still alive. You just had to help her cleaning the house, fixing some broken stuff and tending the little garden in which strange plants were growing, and she allowed you to sleep in a room of her house. Even if the entire world seemed against you, you had an ally. She never blamed you for being pregnant, and she helped you giving birth to an absolute wonder you named Elsie. You asked Ariee to be her godmother. When you were working, the old woman was taking care of your daughter.

But as your daughter was growing, you were not anymore the only one to suffer from the other villagers. Elsie was 6 the first time she went back home, a huge bruise on her face. "John told me we weren't welcome here ! So I told him this was our home ! So he hit me" she said. John was a kid from the village. That was the first time you permitted her to go outside alone, and the last time. Ariee told you many times to move, to find another town somewhere else, but you knew it would be the same. And maybe you weren't going to find another nice old woman to help you. So you decided to stay. You knew you could handle this. The only thing you were afraid of, was that your daughter could not. She was at this age when girls want to make some friends. And she watched the other children playing in front of your house. She had such a sad look... But what could you do ? Let her playing with the other kids ? No, they would hurt her.

"I am sorry, Honey. You can't go with them. Remember what John did to you. I don't want this to happen again. Do you understand ?" "Yes mom... But I want to play a game..." "We can play with you, if you want" Ariee told

And so you played together.

You loved Elsie. Yes, you didn't want her at first. But in this world, she carried hope. You wished you could give her a best life. You wished a knight on his white horse would come, one day, and fall in love with her. You wished she would fall in love with him too. And you wished he would put her out of this misery.

But she was still 6. And you had to protect her by yourself until the knight would come.

When you opened your eyes, the sun was warming your skin. You slept much more than you expected. But you needed this. You stretched your arms and legs, then you sat on your bed. This night, you slept with Elsie because she was afraid of the dark. But she wasn't in the bed. No worries, it was quite late, she probably was downstairs, watching the pictures in the only book of the house (that was a gift from her father to you a few days before he knew you were pregnant), playing with Ariee or helping her to cook. She loved this. You put on a brown dress. That was your work dress. You quickly brushed your air, and went down, to eat some bread. No one was there. The old woman and your daughter had to be in the garden. You took a slice of bread and ate it, going outside. Ariee was watering plants. But no sign of your little girl.

You frowned

"Hello, Ariee" "Hello" "Do you know where Elsie is ?" "She told me she was going to see if you were still asleep, why ?" "She's not in the house" "I'll search in the house, go in the town." She said.

You nodded and ran. You were afraid. What could they do to her ? She could be in danger. The kids could be cruel, and the adults even more. You searched in the streets. The town wasn't that big. You asked your neighbours. They didn't see anything. You searched everywhere. In every little hiding place, even if it was too small or too high for her. She wasn't there. You sat on the floor, crying silently, when you heard a conversation.

You know what, I saw baby whore today. Did you ? I thought her slut of a mother never let her out... She told me she wanted to pick some flowers. And what did you reply ? That there were some in the forest. You froze. He said WHAT ? You immediately went back home.

"Have you found her ?" Ariee asked when you entered. "No I... I'm afraid she might be in the woods." "What ? How ?" "Marcus just found funny to tell her that there were flowers in the forest" "What will you do ?"

You took a knife in the kitchen

"I'll go" "I am sorry I really wish I could come with you but I am too old for that, I-" "I know, Ariee, pray for her, please"

And you left again the house, a long, sharpened knife in your hand. You were already crying. If she was lost, you had no chance to find her alive. But you didn't care. You had to find her.

You searched for maybe two hours in the woods. She was nowhere. You didn't know where you was, nor where she could be. Your eyes were filled with tears, you couldn't see anything, so you decided to stop. You rested on a tree, trying to calm down your heartbeat. You wiped a tear. After a few minutes, you were a little calmer, and you realised where you were. You were far from the town... You were alone, almost lost. No sign of civilisation here...

You smelled cooked meat in the air. You had to be near an other town... Instinctively, you walked, following the smell.

That wasn't a town. That was a man in armour, blond haired, sitting in front of a fire, you could only see his back. You almost fainted when you saw your daughter, lying on the floor next to him. She had bruises and dirt on her face. What did this man do to her ? You walked slowly towards him, trying not to make a sound, holding the knife. A twig cracked under your foot. The man stood up, drawing his sword as he turned towards you... He... She. She was so tall, her sword too... You stumbled and fell, trying to step back.

You could see she was confuse. Why would you try to attack her with this knife while she was full plate armored. As she saw the fear in your eyes, she put away her sword, and bowed down to help you.

"Don't touch me !"

She immediately walked away and watched you stood up. You still had your knife and you threatened her with it.

"Give my daughter back ! Or I'll kill you"

She didn't seem impress and just told you :

"Oh, this girl's yours ? Don't worry she's okay. She's sleeping"

You didn't know what to say. You approached Elsie, still threatening the woman with your knife. You gently shook your daughter to wake her up. She opened her eyes and you burst in tears, holding her tight.

You looked at the woman. Did you have to thank her ? You didn't know...

"I'm sorry mom... I was lost" "Don't worry my sweet child, we'll go back to our home, okay ?" "Yes" "Thank you lady-knight !" Elsie said "I told you I would find your mother, but you mother found you first" she smiled at your child. "I-I am sorry for being rude I-" you apologied "Don't worry, I am used to." "Do you travel alone ? I can give you a bed for the night if you want" "That's okay, I usually sleep outside" "But I really want to thank you. Please, accept it" "Yes ! Lady-knight ! I want to show you my home !" "O-Okay" she replied

She packed the few things she had, put out the fire and buried the bones of the rabbit she had eaten. She whistled, and a white horse appeared from among the trees.

The knight on the white horse !

She picked up Elsie to put her on the back of the horse.

"What's-What's your name, lady-knight ?" you asked "I am Brienne. And you ?" "Y/N" "Do you need help getting on the horse, Y/N ?" She said "Yes please"

She grabbed your waist and lifted you up on the horse.

Did she just- She's so tall and so strong...

You blushed. Why did you find a woman attractive ? You meant yes, she's beautiful and you wished to kiss her right now but- She took the reins to lead the horse, walking by your side. She looked at you but you seemed lost in your thought.

"Are you okay ?" "Yes, thank you Brienne. I can walk if you want to be on your horse" "That's okay, where's your village ?" "Over there" You showed a direction.

You were back in the town. Folks were looking at the three of you. Such a strange trio. A slut and her daughter on a white horse, with a giant lady in armour. They started to laugh at you, and some of the children threw you little rocks.

"I am sorry, they are like that because of me..." you said. "Don't worry. I'm used to"

You held your daughter against your chest and showed Brienne the way to your house. Elsie jumped out of the back of the horse and ran into the house.

"I'M BACK, ARIEE !"

The old woman was in the garden and came when she heard Elsie yelling. She wiped her tears and held the girl.

"Oh thanks Lord you are safe !" "Thanks to Brienne the lady-knight !" Elsie said "Yes, yes, I'm gonna give you a bath, girl" Ariee replied

She left you alone. Brienne didn't seem really comfortable. You could understand. She didn't know this house, she was a complete stranger.

"Follow me, I will show you your room"

She nodded and you went upstairs. You entered your daughter's room. Brienne was looking everything in the house with her curious blue eyes, as if she was searching for something. She was beautiful... You cleared your throat.

"This is Elsie's bedroom but she'll sleep with me for the night" "I can sleep on the floor, this was really kind of you to-" "She often sleeps with me, that will not disturb her" "O-Okay" "You should take out your armour. You don't need it here"

You approached to help her. Under her armour, she was a normal woman. Tall, yes, but normal. She wore a simple white shirt and brown pants. You could feel her back muscles under your fingers. That was quite... attractive. You were bright red at the thought she could sleep with you, gladly she couldn't see you. You tried to hide it under a poker face as she turned towards you. You smiled to her. Her cheeks were pinkish too. She didn't look at you, avoiding your gaze. Instead, she viewed the garden through the opened window.

"Are you searching for something ?" "I was just wondering where was your husband..."

You closed your eyes and sighed. So that was the time when you had to say you didn't have one and when the woman would laugh at you and insult you. You didn't want this to happen. But you didn't want to lie to her.

"I-I don't have a husband. Her father left me when I found out I was pregnant" "You raise this girl alone ?" "No, Ariee helps me" "It must be hard" "It is. Especially when every one calls me a whore" "I'm sorry" "Don't apologies for them. They don't deserve it" You sighed. Downstairs, you heard Elsie laughing. "I know how men can be... rude" she said. "I believe you"

You smiled at her, your eyes in hers. You were absorbed by her saphire colored eyes. She blushed a bit and looked away.

"I am sorry, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. Do you want to shower ? You may be hungry. We have bread and fruits-" "I am okay, really. Thank you for being so kind"

Elsie, who cleaned her face, bursted into the room and hugged Brienne's legs.

"Lady-knight, follow me, I'll show you my book ! I can't read it but there is some pictures in it !" "O-Okay, show me, Elsie"

Your daughter took one of Brienne's hand in hers and led her to the first floor. You followed them. Elsie was so cute, and Brienne too. The little girl took the book on a shelf and sat on the floor.

"Sit with me, lady-knight"

And Brienne sat. Else opened the book and searched for a very special picture you knew was her favourite.

This was a drawing of knight, that probably was a woman, fighting a bear. But as you couldn't read the story next to the image, you didn't know. Ariee couldn't read neither. But when it was time for Elsie to go to sleep and she asked a story, you would took the book and tell her what you imagine being the story of a young woman becoming a knight to save her father. You didn't know the book was a story about Brienne of Tarth. But you did notice her eyebrows when she saw the picture.

"What is this book about ?" "We don't know" you answered "No one here knows how to read" "I do" "You do ? Oh ! Can you read me the story ?" Elsie handed the book to Brienne. "Of course" She took the book.

The cover was just simple leather. No title, no ornament. She opened it. Here, in italics and gothic font, the title was written.

"Brienne the Beast..." She whispered. "Oh ! That's your name !" "I don't think that's a beautiful story. I can't read it to you" "But you told me you-" "Elsie, don't bother her, please..." you said.

Your daughter pouted and stood up. Then, she left the room, going upstairs.

"I am sorry, I hope she'll understand..."

The sun was down, you were still laughing with Brienne when Ariee went to sleep. Elsie was in bed for a long time. She was exhausted. Now you were both sitting at the table, in an awkward silent. You didn't want to go to sleep now. You wanted to talk to her a little more. You really liked her. She told you about some of her adventures. She was there for the long night. She was a hero ! You had a hero in your house. When she talked about that time, you could see in her eyes such a beautiful light. But you had no more question about her. Except for one.

"Brienne ?" "Yes ?" "That book... Was your story ?" "Oh... No. That's a story someone wrote to make fun of me." "What ? Who ?"

She laughed a bit and looked through a window.

"I don't know. And I don't care. If I wanted to know every single person who laughed at me at one point of their life..." "Do you often get mocked ?"

Her eyes rolled.

"Look at me, Y/N, I am a woman and yet I am taller than most of men. I am an ugly woman and-" "You are not." "Please, this is not funny. I know I am ugly. Don't try to make fun of me. I really like you, so please don't do it."

You cupped her face in your hands. She was confuse, you could see it in her eyes.

"Brienne, you are not ugly. I really find you attractive- I mean, If I was a man I would ask you out- I mean... You are beautiful" "Please... I am going to believe you if you keep telling me this" her tone was half whispering half pleading

It was painful, I could hear that. You kissed her cheek.

"Believe me. You are so... stunning. Oh, no, don't cry, please"

You softly smiled at her and wiped a tear with your thumb.

"Brienne, I mean it. You are beautiful" "No one ever told me that" "No one ever ?" "Well a man told me that once, but he left me so I assume it doesn't count." "How would a man leave you ?" "He loved his sister more than me..." "He is stupid. If I was a man I'd never let you down." "If I was a man I'd ask you for marriage."

You blushed. Did it mean what it meant ? She blushed too, understanding what you understood.

"I- What I want to say is that-"

You gently kissed her. She shyly reciprocated.

"Take me away with you" you said.

____________________________________________

OKAY that was definitely longer than I expected. I may write an other part one day...

#brienne of tarth #brienne x reader #brienne of tarth x reader #game of thrones #gwendoline christie

149 notes · View notes

citylawns · 6 months

Text

so I quit my waitressing and bar job which was like 50% of my income and I am going to be picking up more shifts at my retail job but I am now back to depending on governments benefits for half my living expenses, and I am flat broke again until I borrow money from friends/family (yikes) or get this £300 cost of living support payment. like I have £4 to my entire name, have no money at all elsewhere in the world. so selling clothes again but that's also because I am trying to only keep stuff I genuinely love and change bad habits.

and this sucks but its nowhere I haven't been before many times and I simply just don't care anymore. I spent some of my last £12 on a chocolate croissant from pret last week because going to work made me feel depressed and eating cheered me up which is also something I'm trying to stop doing.

and I am happier at the prospect of only working one day next week and spending the rest of the time on my life - getting my life organised, planning a new magazine, making art, writing and pitching to magazines. i just don't think working full time is worth it because I was scraping by and then didn't have time to do any of that stuff. and maybe it's a risk that will pay off, or maybe it wont. I could be poor forever but I think I'm happier that way. what I've learned is I can always change things, that I am always reflecting on whether what I am currently doing is best for me.

tonight i'm going to listen to aphex twin and write in my journal about the sort of person I want to be, then think about how I can make any of it possible, I'll then start doing those things starting small. like being the sort of person who knows what kind of tea they like, or knows where to get their favourite brand. being the sort of person who knows how to take care of themselves. I like the fact I am responsible for my own life, I like feeling empowered. I'm so sick of being sad and victimised and for ages I was utterly frustrated with myself for not being happy and healed. so in accepting my past I can acknowledge what happened wasn't my fault, how its affected me, and this gives me the tools to change things, points me in the direction for healing. I have to keep believing that a miracle might happen to me.

#personal

25 notes · View notes

imabillyami · 27 days

Note

Hii I I'm back 😂

Okay so I would not have guessed English was not your first language 👀😳 you are doing amazingly well!

21 parts!! *fainting* I'm sooo happy to hear that haha Please please in your words - get over yourself and post that stupid (not stupid) chapter 4 😂 - I say this in the most loving and polite way possible 😁🥰 butttt obviously what I really mean is don't stress about it too much and post only when you're happy and comfortable with it (we'll be patiently waiting 😊). I'm glad to hear you're excited for the rest of it though!! 😁

On another note... My curiosity got the better of me 😆 Gentle Cottagecore Emoji Asks 🌱🥛🍯🐄🌳🐓🐇🌲🥞⛰️ answer as many as you like

(as always no pressure to respond) 😊

🐨

Hi Aussie anon friend 🥰

Took me a while to get to your message (April is this crazy busy month for me every single year, but in a mostly positive way), but here we are.

Yeah, the writing thing is delicate and very fickle. But I've been writing for 15+ years at this point and it rarely stresses me out anymore. I just gotta do things in my own time and remind myself from time to time to trust the process. We'll get there, always do in the end. Patience is key.

Thanks for sending those emoji asks, I'll be answering them under the cut 💕

Hugs to you 💜🌻

🌱 Seedling: What is a scent you find relaxing?

Sandalwood & the scent of the air when you walk through the woods after heavy rain

🥛 Milk: What is a food you find comforting when you are sad?

I dealt with some stuff in the past, so I’m not an "eat my feelings away" person anymore these days, and I’m really trying to prevent finding comfort in food or spending money when I feel sad, so I don’t have a specific food. In fact, I really struggle with eating when I’m sad these days, a complete 180 from when I was younger.

🍯 Honey: What is one thing you like about yourself?

Personality wise - my kindness. A lot of people think I’m faking that or playing it up, but I’m genuinely not. I just don’t see the point in making anyone’s life harder or miserable when I can spend my time putting smiles on people’s faces and leave them with good memories instead. Physically - probably my eyes. I like the dark color of them and the way people tell me I have kind eyes. So that.

🐄 Cow: What is one other tumblr blog you really appreciate?

Picking one is impossible, really, cause we’re all here for different reasons and good at different thing and I’m just glad we get to share this space together and love the thing we love.

I’d like to shout out some of my dear friends though. Tay @taydaq for her incredible art and being an all around lovely person who’s always there for others.

Mahi @mahi-wayy / @bangazaii for being a complete sweetheart and our lovely fic writing sessions and idea spitballing sessions / rarepair shenanigans in our dms.

Shanie @shanie-the-komania-toyaddict for always being there when shit gets rough and calling me out on my bullshit, but never judging (& also writing the most beautiful kayfabe compliant steenerico fic + side stories).

Carla @samijey for providing me/us with the most beautiful gifs and the most gorgeous writing (and giving me a chance when it was easier not to).

And last but not least my dear friend E. @bremmommye who’s been my friend and comfort person in & out of the internet for many years by now and who I miss dearly cause we rarely ever get to see each other in "real life" (that's what living on opposite ends of the same country and being busy does).

I love all my moots and my followers and all the people I follow who don’t follow me back, but these people are the ones that have carved out that extra bit of space in my heart for themselves and made themselves a forever home in some shape or form. Sorry, didn’t mean to get that mushy, but I really love talking about my friends.

🌳 Tree: What is one thing in your future you are looking forward towards?

Honestly, it goes hand in hand with the answer above, I think. Being able to watch the people I adore, family, friends, acquaintances, strangers I have yet to meet, grow and evolve and live authentic lives that they’re feeling happy and fulfilled with. That’s what makes me happy - seeing the people around me happy.

🐓 Chicken: What is a comfort movie/show for you?

Sooo many. But one constant is The Princess Bride. Another one is The Breakfast Club. Grey’s Anatomy (very early seasons), Skam, Legally Blonde and more recently Heartstopper. I could go on and on, there’s a whole lot of them.

🐇 Bunny: What’s a song that you really like?

If you could see my music library - it’s WILD. And I love every single song. I listen to music basically every single minute I’m awake and able to. So picking one song - good god. I’ll give you my 5 most recent played ones.

Thoughts of a child - The Lathums

Dublin in Ecstasy - Inhaler

Dreams - The Snuts

I bet you look good on the Dancefloor - Arctic Monkey

Poundshop Kardashians - Sam Fender

🌲 Pine: Do you prefer the cold, or the heat?

The heat. Don’t love the heat, but I can stand it a lot better than being cold.

🥞 Pancake: What is your favorite breakfast food?

Not a big breakfast person, don’t have a sweet tooth either (not anymore I should say), so probably something savory. I had this yummy grilled veggie & hummus on rye bread breakfast sandwich when I was traveling the other day, that one came to mind. On a normal day, I’ll just have a cup of tea (no sugar, no milk alternative), a handful of almonds, and a banana or an apple to hold me over till lunch. But yeah, if I’m going for actual breakfast, I prefer savory over sweet.

⛰️ Mountains: Would you rather live in the mountains, city, beach, or the forest?

Grew up living near the forest and spending a lot of time playing in the woods as a kid, lived in a couple a large cities over the years, now living close to the mountains, but still in general vicinity of the city (albeit a smaller one), I’m really enjoying being able to go for a hike in the mountains if I need to catch a break. Reconnecting with nature and the quiet from time to time is real nice.

#lovely anon #anon #asks #m answers #replies #ask game #ask games #tw ed #🐨

10 notes · View notes

ravenzeppeli · 2 months

Text

Claimed

Chapter 2- The Eavesdropping Blues |La Squadra x Reader|

Warning: implied sex, strong language, threats. MA.

Formaggios POV

"You don't fucking dress like that in public girl, what's wrong with you?" Formaggio faintly heard Prosciutto snap as he walked past your door, causing him to immediately freeze, his ear immediately pressing against the door. "You can wear a shirt that isn't low cut. Isn't it fucking winter?"

"Why do you have to judge what I wear?" You replied back, your voice sounding defeated. "You're being too bossy. We're supposed to be moving slowly, but you keep trying to control every little thing I do. I can wear what I want."

Formaggio heard Prosciutto scoff. "Take off the top and give it to me, I'll buy you a better top later. You can dress appealing without showing yourself to random men. Your body is only for our eyes."

"Don't you ever buy me anything, I don't need or want any of you buying me stuff. I can take care of myself completely fine," you snapped, heavy footsteps suddenly dashing across the floor. "Prosciutto, I want to keep the top. I'll cry if you take it."

"Oh really?" He snapped, a groan escaping his lips. "You are a dramatic girl, you know that? Fine, keep it, but if I catch you wearing that shirt in public, I'll spank you." That ending remark caused Formaggio to pause; does Prosciutto actually spank you?

You sighed, "Okay. I won't wear this specific shirt in public." The way you said that seemed suspicious like you already had a plan forming. You definitely were interesting, really weird, and you were hot.. Formaggio could kind of go with dating you, but he still wanted to watch ass shaking and get his dick sucked at the strip club. Out of respect to you, he'll wear a condom when random women suck him off, which he always did anyway.

"And you're going to have to spend my money. You are mine, meaning you spend my money and obey me. Women should obey." He heard a squeak of your bed. "Now, why don't you get over here and get on your knees? Be a good girl for me. Go ahead and take your top and bra off."

"Okay," you replied back, and with that, Formaggio quietly left, not wanting to hear you suck Prosciutto off. That's just too personal. "I'm not spending your money," he heard you say as he walked out the front door.

-----

"I love you so much, more than words could ever describe. You are just so fucking beautiful," Formaggio heard Melone say as he went to pass by the kitchen. That caused him to freeze, yet again listening in. He couldn't help it, he was fucking nosey. "Look at you.. you're so perfect. It goes deeper then your looks, I love your soul."

"Yeah, sure," you replied, your tone soft and caring despite the dry response. "You don't need to tell me lies, I'll keep sleeping with you. You don't have to keep going with all this."

"Women don't like me Y/N. I'm well aware that I'm a creepy and off-putting guy. All I get is rejected. You never rejected me," Melone told you, his voice gentle. "I've always wanted just one person to love.. and I told myself that when I find that person, my love would be strong and unconditional. You are that person, and in that, I will be loyal and loving to you."

Their was silence for a good minute before you finally replied, "You are all mafia men. You're all going to cheat on me and treat me bad, that's what your type does. You don't need to keep feeding me lies. I'm okay with what you are."

That offended Formaggio, what the fuck did you mean by that? Are you seriously going to judge them without knowing them? Melone was a fucking weird guy, he had a strong feeling that Melone was being serious. He never got lucky with women either, even the sex workers avoided Melone. Hell, the strippers refused to give him lap dances, he don't even go to the strip club anymore, only ever going three times and creeping the girls out to an extreme. Formaggio wondered, why doesn't Melone creep you out? Clearly you aren't right in the head, which was what Risotto had to find because no normal girl would fit in with them. But you seemed to.. kind of.

"I've already told you I'm going to be loyal, please don't label me. I really do love you and think you are beautiful, and I am glad you're my girlfriend," he quickly replied, this time having a sharpness in his tone. "You are mine, and I will protect you with my life. I've been so lonely, you know? I've been waiting for you, I truly feel like I have. I believe in soulmates."

"Well, I do like you. I can admit that, the others I don't really like yet," you told them, causing Formaggio to frown. "Well.. Formaggio is okay, but I know he's a dirt bag. But he is really funny." He raised his eyebrows - should he be offended or not? He wasn't a fucking dirt bag!

"You just need to get to know the others, I've seen you spend time with Prosciutto. Don't you like him?" Melone asked.

You let out a dry laugh, "no I don't like Prosciutto. He's so fucking bossy and annoying. I'm not an idiot, he's literally trying to train me like I'm some dog. I'm only physically attracted to him." You then sighed, seeming to be annoyed. "Listsn, I'm not the type of girl that won't listen to a man, I get that I sometimes gotta listen, but Prosciutto has weird rules."

"To be fair, baby, I also don't want you to go places by yourself. I don't mind how you dress. Men will always look at you, but I just want you safe, and I always want to know where you are. You're a part of this team now, and you may be an easy target," Melone told you. "I don't mean it like that.. you are strong, but men are viscous, especially men in this field. You can call me anytime you need to go somewhere or need anything. I would never get mad. You are my first priority now."

Melone was really laying it on hard for you. God, Melone was so weird, how did he already fucking dedicate himself to you? It's only been two weeks, Formaggio hardly even speaks to you, mainly just letting Melone and Prosciutto keep you. Well maybe his words would keep you here with them, Risotto keep saying he feels like you're going to try and run away from them.

Nobody would admit this, not even you - but the moment Risotto saw you, he was set on keeping you like he was always meant to find you and take you, claiming you as theirs. It was so easy too.. you were a petty criminal, had a stand, and it was obvious you had some understanding of the mafia. Risotto made it seem like he was asking you, but he was telling you that you now belonged to them. He did sweeten the deal, saying you would never be killed and that you would be safe and protected. He promised that you would have a stable job, knowing how hard it was for a criminal to find a stable job. You seemed to just say yes to him.. and then he kind of arranged you to be their girl.

Sharing a girl.. it's weird as fuck, but Formaggio can't find a girl to settle with. Prosciutto filed for his third divorce four years ago, and Ghiaccio doesn't even acknowledge the existence of women or any life outside of the team. Also.. they were assassins who killed people and committed terrible crimes. Some women knew of their reputation and avoided them. This seemed to be kind of work. With their busy schedules and hectic lives, a shared girlfriend seemed to make a little sense.

"Alright, Melone.. thanks," you told him dryly. "I do appreciate you very much. Thank you. You are easy to like," you told him, your tone softening up.

"I love you. You don't need to say it back. You don't need to love me for me to love you. I'm going out to do some research, want to come with me or stay here?" He questioned, a sigh escaping his lips. "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow, but I'll be texting you all day, and I'll call you tonight. Please try and answer, but I understand if you're busy."

"Be safe, alright?" You told him as he walked away, Formaggio quietly moving into hiding as Melone left out the front door. Formaggio waited a few minutes, wanting to approach you but stopping when Illuso swiftly entered the kitchen.

"Well, hello, Y/N, don't you look like a cute little girl today?" Illuso questioned, his tone even giving Formaggio the creeps, Illuso was a sick fuck, probably worse then Melone but he hides his urges. "Look at you.. come here, let me get a good look at you girl."

Formaggio let himself peak around the wall, seeing Illuso snake his hands around you, rubbing all over your back, side, his hungry eyes on you. "I am not a little girl, okay? I am an adult."

"Well, you're 12 years younger than me, and look at how short you are. I honestly love your full cock sucking lips the most, you suck dick great," Illuso commented, his hands landing on your ass, you just seemed to stare up at him. "I've had my dick sucked a lot, you definitely are number one. Good girl."

You crossed your arms over your chest as Illusos hand roughly smacked against your ass, a loud pop sound filling the air as you crashed into Illusos chest, his arms tightly locking around you. "I literally don't care. Why are you telling me this? Go away." He smacked your ass again, this time tightly grasping your ass cheek. "What do you want?"

"I came in here to grab a beer, wanted to feel you up first. What's so bad about that? You don't mind, right? I mean, I'm your boyfriend after all, are you uncomfortable?" Illuso questioned, his tone taunting. "Or are you scared of me? Scared I'll do whatever I please with you?"

"Risotto said you can't kill me," you snapped at Illuso, a chuckle escaping his lips. "I'm not scared of you at all, Illuso. You don't scare me one bit."

"Aw, I don't wanna ever kill you, that would be a waste of a good throat," he told you, causing you to frown, attempting to back away from him, causing his grasp to tighten. "But I will punish you if you aren't a good girl. Got that? And I'll punish you real hard." He let you go, only to grab your wrist, grasping it tightly. "Don't be stupid.. don't step out of line."

He let you go, walking past you as he opened the fridge. "Oh, and I'm about ready to fuck that pussy so get ready for that. I'm getting bored of just head, and I'm dying to see how that ass looks." He grabbed a beer, closing the fridge as he walked away, leaving before you could reply.

-----

"You don't have a say in any fucking thing, you're lucky I even let you have a say in yourself," Prosciutto snapped at you, causing you to glare at him. "Don't you glare at me. You did something bad! You do not leave this base without telling someone!"

Now, usually, you just got quiet and let Prosciutto run all over you for these past going on three weeks, but you seemed to be feeling extra feisty today because your reply was actually insane. The fact that you had the balls to say this to Prosciuttos' face without running away impressed Formaggio.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, my husband? My owner? I don't see a ring on my finger, I don't see a fucking stamp on me that says I need to listen to you!" You snapped at Prosciutto, causing Risotto to immediately look up at you. "Like, what the fuck is your problem with me?"

Prosciutto immediately stood up, swiftly approaching you. As he raised his hand, Melone stood up, stepping in front of you. "Don't hit her! She's new to this Prosciutto, just ease up on her a little. It's hard for her to adjust to being with all of us.. don't be mean to her."

Formaggio smirked a little. He couldn't help it, knowing that you may be smarter than everyone thinks. You've been observing them, he noticed that, and in that he noticed you and Melone becoming inseparable. He protected you, defended you - Melone was your pass to permanent survival here, and it was clear that you took notice to him.

Melone was.. he was a nerd, a creepy nerd. He's done sick things to mainly women, and even before he joined the team, he had a problem with killing women who rejected him and laughed at him. You never once laughed at him or called him a creep, instead sitting and talking with him, even accepting him. That's all you had to do.. with being the first chick to accept Melones weird ass you now have a permanent bodyguard. Formaggio sure as fuck wouldn't protect you, it ain't his job, he's just here for the pussy. But it was obvious that Melone and Prosciutto wanted more then pussy. Melone wanted love. What the fuck did Prosciutto want from you?

"Goddamnit, Melone, she isn't just your girlfriend!" Prosciutto snapped, glaring at Melone, his hands balling into fists. "She has a smart ass mouth and deserves to be smacked! Move Melone, let me discipline her as I please!"

You started to slowly back away, the two bickering men not noticing as you slowly began to backward walk towards the front door, seeming as if you were about to leave. Risotto suddenly stood up, causing you to freeze as he walked over to you. He grabbed your wrist, dragging you over to the couch and sitting you down next to Ghiaccio and right next to Risotto.

"Where did you go?" Risotto asked you, suddenly pausing as he leaned closer towards you, getting in your face. "Why do you smell like a skunk? What's that strong smell?"

You leaned back, and your back firmly pressed up against the back of the black leather couch. "It's weed, I went to go pick up some weed."

"From a man?" Risotto questioned, his tone hard. You didn't answer, instead looking down. "Strike one, don't let me get to strike three. If you want weed, one of us will get it for you. You aren't to associate with other men in the mafia outside of us unless necessary. Let this be your only warning."

"Risotto, that isn't fair," you muttered, your eyes staying on the ground. "I should be able to get my own weed. You're taking away all of my freedom. This isn't what I agreed to."

Risotto sat back. "It doesn't matter what you agreed to. You are our girlfriend now, meaning you need to show respect when respect is requested. You need to respect Prosciutto as much as you respect me."

"But I don't like Prosciutto!" You snapped at Risotto, immediately causing Prosciutto to turn towards you. "Nothing personal."

"Oh, you don't like me!? Really!? You don't fucking like me!?" Prosciutto snapped, glaring down at you. "You're lucky that Melone is here.. you are so fucking lucky. Because I assure you nobody else will protect you. You're nothing but a toy to us."

"A toy that most of you can't operate," you calmly replied back, causing Formaggios mouth to hang open slightly. Goddamn you were brave as fuck to say that.

"Who!?" Illuso snapped, that remark getting his attention. "Girl, you better watch what you fucking say to us. You could get knocked out."

"I'll hit you back," you replied back even calmer, causing Illusos face to suddenly harden. "You can't do anything to me that hasn't already been done you fucking idiot. Even if you were to kill me, I wouldn't give a fuck." You looked at Illuso, an actual smile appearing on your lips- damn, you hardly smiled. "Because I would be dead. So how about you and Prosciutto leave me the fuck alone? I don't give a fuck about what either one of you have to say."

"Y/N you gotta shut the fuck up babe," Formaggio finally added in, trying to help you. He knew he said that he would never help you but you were saying some wild shit. "You keep saying things that'll get you smacked, so maybe just shut up." He didn't wanna smack you, he knew you weren't talking about him, but Prosciutto and Illuso wanted to hurt you.

You looked over at Formaggio, blinking as you stared at him. "Fine, whatever," you replied, seeming to calm yourself down a little. "It's just not fair."

Pesci got up suddenly, immediately walking out the front door. Prosciutto gave you a deadly glare before following behind Pesci.

"Y/N, please baby, you need to just.. why did you say most of us can't operate you? What does that even mean?" Melone questioned as he sat next to Illuso. "Did you just insult our sexual abilities?" He frowned, seeming upset.

"I wasn't insulting you," you told him, instantly causing him to calm down. "I was insulting Prosciutto and the guy next to you." Just as you said that, Illuso leaned forward, his large arm stretching out as be roughly smacked your thigh, you hardly mustering up a flinch, instead rolling your eyes. "Okay, sorry."

Melone seemed annoyed by Illuso smacking your thigh, but he said nothing due to your reaction, instead giving you a smile. "Excellent. Now, let's put this behind us and move on. Okay?"

"What do you gotta say about all this Ghiaccio?" Illuso asked, his eyes landing on Ghiaccio who hasn't said a word since you've stepped in the door.

Ghiaccio didn't look up from his computer, shrugging. "Fuck if I care," he replied, his eyes finally glancing over at you, being unreadable. "Can we just get on with this? I'd like to be home before the fucking sun sets." He looked away from you as your head turned to look at him, his dark eyes swiftly cutting back to his computer, ignoring your gaze.

13 notes · View notes

brain-n-body-in-disarray · 6 months

Text

The hidden life of a disabled/chronically ill person.

(Basically a rant about everything wrong in my life and in this society)

At this point I don't even know what's wrong.

Am I feeling exhausted because of idiopathic hypersomnia or am I at the beginning of a spondylitis flare up.

Do I even have ankylosing spondylitis? The symptoms list is a bit sketchy. I mean, there's something there in my body acting up, but... Anyway, I'm too weary to go through all that, the tests and so. I'll just die with my joint aching, I guess.

And am I crying because of the fatigue or is it the start of another depressive phase? Who knows? Not me. Maybe I'm just fed up of being this way.

What way it is, I don't even know anymore. I'm pretty sure there's a lot more laying there inside me to be diagnosed.

The point is, I've been in and out of so many doctors' offices and two decades later I feel like nothing has changed.

I see people over there, talking about their six months wait for a diagnosis, starting meds right away that changed their life. I'm so jealous. Are these people even real?

I lost count of how many specialists I've seen since middle school. I've lost count of how many times I've given up ever finding a diagnosis or a helpful hand. I certainly haven't kept a list of the doctors I came to hate for their incompetence and their cold dismissal.

I hate the healthcare system so much. There's specialists and centers and places I can't even access because I need other doctors' letters to even take an appointment. But the doctors I have are all incompetent morons that don't even listen to me. Where are the good doctors? Where do I find them?

And in the meantime, I survive. There's no other word for the way I live with so little money. How would I survive without the help of a family I'd rather be estranged with? The little money I get from the state doesn't cover for the bare minimum of living. I could get more if I applied for it but... I'd need to be fully diagnosed. The diagnosises I have now aren't enough apparently. I hate that there's people in offices that put a percentage on my level of disability and can decide of my future. Because I really don't know what I'd do if they'd reject my application. I'd be force to find a job that might just kill me, or maybe my bf and I would be forced to live with his father, living on what my family could give us for food. And what would we do the day they'll all be dead? Who'll help us then? Where would we live? How would we find food and clothes?

The state never cares about people like us living with dignity. They don't even care about us being alive. They'd rather see us dead, because we're wastes of money to them. So they don't want to help us. They do not care about making things easier and more accessible. They want us gone.

Okay, I didn't mean to go on a rant, but, well, that's the life of disabled and chronically ill people. We are more than our disabilities and illnesses, yes, but our lives can't be separated from them either. It's not just about 'spoons' or 'batteries', we need to think about so much more than that. And the irony in there is that it costs a lot of spoons. Abled people can have hard lives, sure, but they have more energy to spend and means to find solutions. They survive more easily. For us, it can mean death far more quickly, and no one cares.

If we can't take care of ourselves by working, earning money, making a place for ourselves in this broken society, we are devalued and outcast.

"Earning money". Do we have to earn our right to live too? Apparently so. At least, they won't try to make it easier for us.

Sure, there's stuffs that exist for helping disabled and chronically ill people. But it's enough sugar-coated bullshit to appease the people, to show enough kindness not to look heartless. I don't believe for one second they care for us, and you should not too.

They expect us being voiceless, because we are often silenced by our own lack of spoon. We live a life where we need more energy but have less than most people. It is thus unfair that we are the one that have to be our own advocates.

Sure, we have allies. But if there's one thing I have learned is that if you don't leave it, you don't know what people that live it really need. The best allies are forums. They're empty spaces that make the minorities' voices resonate, that emplify them. Allies' voices are echoes. But echoes can be dangerous, the original message distorted beyond recognition. So we need to be the ones to be heard. No small feat.

I know that I can't do that. I can only send tumblr posts into the void. Is that enough? It'll have to be, because I can barely remember to eat, I can't fight this battle on top of everything.

Kudos of the activists that manage to do it all. I hope you don't get burnt out.

12 notes · View notes

a-small-batch-of-dragons · 11 months

Text

Connection: Patton

Read on Ao3

Warnings: mention of childhood neglect/abandonment/implied abuse

Pairings: royality

Word Count: 2370

You can do this. You can do this. You can do this.

Patton bounces on the balls of his feet as he watches the other end of the road, waiting for Roman to appear. This was it! The festival was this weekend, he'd made sure his schedule was clear, and he had enough motivation to finally ask out Roman. Roman just needed to show up.

There!

Patton waves as he sees Roman turn onto the street, his red jacket slung over his shoulders and his phone in his hand. He puts it in his pocket and looks up to see him, smiling and waving back. He jogs the rest of the way to the bus stop and knocks his elbow lightly against Patton's.

"Morning. You look chipper."

"Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, that's me!"

Roman chuckles, shaking his head. "You're adorable."

"Aw, thanks! So are you!" Patton grins when he sees Roman turn away a bit to try and hide the way he blushes—it fails, but that's okay. "Hey, u, do you have any plans for this weekend?"

"Other than homework and keeping my brother out of trouble? Nah, not really, why?"

This is it. You can do it. "Well, there's this fall festival that's opening up this weekend on the other side of campus and there's a student discount and I was, um, I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?"

"A festival?"

"Yeah! Pumpkins, corn mazes, apple cider…fall stuff. They're doing a few things for Halloween but it's meant to last until—well, until it's too cold to be outside anymore, so I think, like, late November? So there's not that much stuff out right now."

"How much is it? Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, I'm just…kind of on a budget right now."

"Oh, that's okay! I think the general pass is around fifteen but I can pay for you if you want."

Roman startles a bit. "No, no, that's okay, I didn't mean that. I just wanted to know how much it was."

Patton frowns. "I didn't—sorry, I didn't want to make it sound like I didn't think you could pay for it, I just—gosh. Sorry. I, um, I really like spending time with you and I wanted to spend more time with you, and…yeah. Just wanted to make it clear that was an option."

Roman scratches the back of his head, smiling sheepishly. "Kinda jumped all over you on that, huh? Sorry."

"It's okay! I get it. I could've said it a little better."

"You said it fine, Patton, I'm just—money's a bit of a thing for me, that's all."

"Noted. I'll keep that in mind."

"You're too sweet, you know that?" He adjusts his backpack. "Can I think about it? I want to ask my brother if it's okay too—he's got some stuff going on at the moment and I don't—I wanna get a feel for that too."

"Of course! Yeah, no, I completely understand. Let me know."

"Thanks."

Sure enough, that evening, he gets a text from Roman saying: i'm free! i can come this sunday for a few hours. remus is gonna go visit a friend for lunch so i'm all yours.

'All yours.' Patton can't help a little squee at that.

Me: OH that's so great!!!! I'm so excited!!!! It's really close so we can walk over if you want.

Roman <3: sure that sounds great

Me: Cool!! Do you want to aim for like 11?

Roman <3: i can do 11. you said it was 15?

Me: Yeah, $15 for the general pass. I wasn't making it up when I said I could pay for you, just as a reminder. I asked, let me treat you.

Roman <3: u sure? i can pay you back

Me: You're paying me back by letting me spend time with you <3

Roman <3: jfc you're too cute

He squees again, clutching his phone. This Sunday can't come soon enough.

As it turns out, once Sunday comes, 11:00 can't come soon enough. But eventually, Roman shows up with a different jacket slung over his shoulders; a big, black cargo jacket with a bunch of pockets that makes him look even more like a movie star and Patton tells him that as soon as he's close enough not to shout.

"Aw, thanks. I like this coat too." He winks and gestures to the road. "After you."

It really isn't that far from campus—it's actually closer to their houses than the actual campus is. They talk about nothing in particular as they go, favorite Halloween candy—candy corn for Patton, M&M's for Roman—whether or not candy corn is gross—"I prefer those candy pumpkins, honestly, just 'cause there's more of it."—and how much sugar is appropriate to eat before it's too much— "if your head starts hurting, Pat, I think it's too much."

They politely disagree on that last one until they come to the festival grounds. There are more pumpkins than they could ever hope to count, streamers flying from the top of booths and tents, and a corn maze that stretches far into the distance. A few kids shriek as they run past, going toward some of the bigger rides. One has a giant stuffed bear in their arms that they keep tripping over.

"The entrance is over there, I think." Patton starts walking toward it but stops when he realizes Roman isn't following him. "Roman?"

Roman snaps out of whatever daze he was in, looking over apologetically. "Sorry, got distracted. What did you say?"

"The entrance is right over there."

"You sure you're okay with paying?"

"Yes, I'm sure." Patton happily hands over the money required for two general passes and they strap on their wristbands, heading through the archway to the festival proper. He claps his hands. "What do we want to do first?"

"What does this get us again?"

"It gets us the corn maze, the pumpkin patch, and then the art barn."

"The what?"

Patton points at a large red barn that looks like it's been taken from a cartoon and placed in the real world. "In there. I think if you want to decorate or carve whatever pumpkins you end up picking, you go in there."

"Gotcha." He stuffs his hands in his pockets. "Well, I think I've learned better than to bring home smashable gooey things, so I don't think I'll be getting a pumpkin, but I like looking at all the weird gourds, so should we start there?"

"Yeah, that sounds like fun!" They weave their way around cotton candy stalls and hot pretzel stands until they reach the entrance to the barn. Rows upon rows of gourds greet them, sectioned first by color and then by shape. Patton picks up a squat round white one and holds it up. "It looks like someone squished a pumpkin and then painted it white, doesn't it?"

"And this one looks like it was made of chewing gum and they stretched it too far." Roman holds up an off-white one that's almost the length of his forearm. "You know when you accidentally miss the trash and it goes this color?"

"Oh my gosh, you're right. Wait, no!" He smacks Roman's arm when Roman jokingly goes to chomp on it. "Don't do that!"

"I won't, I won't," he laughs, setting it back down. "Whoa, look at this. This looks like some kind of messed up trombone."

"Wait, wait, let me join you with my horrible saxophone." They each pick up long twisted gourds. "Or is this more of a wonky trumpet?"

"It's a mess, that's what it is. Here, use this one, they kind of look like drumsticks."

Patton mimes out a drum sting. "Wait, wait, tell a joke."

"Uh—what do you call a round orange thing that's a bit bigger than the others?"

"What?"

"A plump-kin!"

"Ba-dum tss."

Roman snorts, holding a hand to his mouth. "How was you doing that funnier than my joke? Wait, wait, don't answer that."

"I thought it was good."

"That's 'cause you like dad jokes."

"There's nothing wrong with a good dad joke! They grow on you." Roman narrows his eyes as Patton mimes the sting again. "Ba-dum tss!"

"You're lucky you're adorable."

Patton giggles, putting the gourds back as they keep walking. There are ones with lumps, ones with bumps, ones that are more lumps and bumps than gourds, and ones that are so smooth they almost drop them trying to pick them up. They get all the way to the end of one row when Roman stops suddenly and Patton almost runs into him.

"Whoa!"

"Sorry, sorry, there's just—traffic!"

Patton peeks over his shoulder and watches two little kids run right past them. Each carries their own little gourd and they proudly hold them up to two women who must be their mothers. They bend down and ruffle their hair, each saying how perfect it is. Patton smiles as they bundle the kids off toward the other part of the barn where the register must be.

"They're so cute," he mumbles, "aren't they?"

Roman doesn't say anything. When he looks up, Roman's face is…a bit sad?

"You okay?"

Just like at the entrance, Roman snaps himself out of it. "Yeah, sorry. I'm here. Are you all good in here?"

"Yeah, I think I'm done. I'm kinda hungry, are you?"

"A bit." But before he can suggest going to find something to eat, Roman reaches into an inside pocket of his coat and pulls out a bag of trail mix. "Do you want some?"

"Um, sure." Roman shakes a bit of it into his hand. "Hey, there's candy in here!"

"I know how to trick myself into eating my protein, thank you."

They walk back outside, snacking on the trail mix. The sun starts to beat down, having reached its zenith while they were inside. Patton shields his eyes and looks around.

"Do any of the booths look fun?"

"Oh, I'm no good at the games."

"Me neither. There are some that look more like just stuff, though, it could be fun to walk through those."

Roman eyes the crowds swarming around them. "Maybe we should come back when they're less…populated."

"Fair enough. Wait about the corn maze?"

"Sure. Are you any good at mazes?"

"I'm fine when I can see all of them. So…probably not that good at these."

Roman chuckles. "That's fine. We've got cell service, I'm sure someone will come and rescue us if we get too lost. Besides, I know the trick."

"You do?" They show their wristbands to the attendant and head in, the breeze making the stalks crackle lightly as they walk. "Wait, what's the trick?"

"You're always supposed to turn left. That way, you eventually cover all the ground in the maze and you'll find the exit. Whoa!"

They both screech to a halt again as an entire gaggle of children race by, just narrowly avoiding them. A few harried-looking parents follow after them, apologizing to them both as they make it out of the maze. Patton lets out a breath, letting go from where he'd clutched Roman's arm.

"Sorry, didn't mean to grab you like that." He looks up. Roman's got that faraway look on his face again. "Hey, are you okay? You've…you keep zoning out."

"Sorry. I'm probably not being very good company, am I?" He offers his arm but doesn't answer.

"You're fine." Patton laces his arm through Roman's as they walk, slowly moving through the corn. "I just…you know, you're my friend. If there's anything I can do…"

"You're perfect." He tries not to swoon at that. "I'm just…I don't want to bring down the mood."

"You won't."

Roman huffs a laugh, but it's not happy. "I…hm. No, it's not fair to you if I don't tell you."

He draws himself up a bit, refusing to make eye contact.

"My parents…weren't very good parents. I won't burden you with details but basically, as soon as I was eighteen, I got custody of Remus and we moved out on our own. It's just been the two of us for so long and I wouldn't trade him for the world but we…I told you money was kind of a thing for me?"

Patton nods, unwilling to speak.

"We've not really had the opportunity to do a lot of stuff like this." He gestures around. "So seeing all the kids…I dunno, makes me feel some type of way."

Patton chest hurts for a moment and he squeezes Roman's arm. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." He looks over, smiling ruefully. "If anything, I should be apologizing to you. One for being so depressing and two for waiting until we're lost in a maze to tell you all of that."

"One, we're not lost, we're just getting started, and two, that's fine. You're having feelings!" He squeezes his arm again. "I'd rather you tell me about them if you're comfy than if you didn't."

"Thank you, Patton. Really. That means a lot to me."

"Well, you mean a lot to me. I mean…I know we don't know each other all that well, but…" Now it's his turn to find it hard to make eye contact. "I'd like to get to know you better. That's partly why I asked if you would come today."

"I'm glad I did."

"Really?"

"Really." He looks down at the hand on his arm. "Feels a bit like I'm getting some of those missed opportunities back."

He just manages to restrain himself from squeeing again but he can't stop the massive grin on his face. Roman looks up, sees it, and laughs. It's happy this time.

"So," he says as they keep walking, "anything else I should know?"

"Um…like what?"

"Well…are you seeing anyone at the moment?"

Roman sighs. "I think…three people at this point have asked me out to dinner, but I've not—I'm not currently in a relationship with any of them."

"Can I make it four?"

"What, dad jokes and corn mazes not enough for you?" But he's smiling as he says it. "Let's see how we handle being lost in here first, then we'll see."

"Sounds good!"

"Hey, hey!" Roman stumbles as Patton almost drags him forward. "Slow down!"

"Oops, sorry."

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti @ultrageekygirl

#dragonbabbles #roman sanders #patton sanders #sanders sides #fic

28 notes · View notes

pb-dot · 9 months

Note

Hiya this is Athena for @ask-a-thon, Thursday edition: How are you, how's the wips going and is there anything you want to ramble about?

Thanks for the ask!

Today has been a good day for writing but not a great day for my wip unfortunately. I've mostly been concentrating my efforts on getting my Film Friday entry for this week done as well as chipping away that the monstrous, ever-growing review of the Barbie Movie that I'm working on. I'm mostly just trying to get all the thoughts about that film out of my system so I can spend some much-needed processing power on actually working on my damn book.

It turns out that my thoughts on the Barbie movie are a bit of a mess because there's so much good craft in that movie, and the main Barbie plot is nothing short of groundbreaking stuff, but I feel like the movie stumbles on a couple of its B-plots and kludges around with them enough that it feels like the fresh exciting barbie film I greatly enjoy is being weighted down by the albatross of corporate-mandated #girlboss stuff. Probably won't be able to hold back on the spoilers much longer, so I'll put in a cut here.

Like it is just about driving me to drink that Will Ferrel's Mattel CEO character at one point states that he values the True Values of Barbie more than the profits from the Kendom Takeover, and we're apparently supposed to take that seriously? This is nothing short of axiomatically impossible. The job of a CEO is by definition to drive and collect profit, and perhaps if they're decent keeping their doings within the realms of the legal. If a CEO does anything outside of the above, they do that as private persons and not as CEOs.

Not Ferrel's character though, he chooses values over profit as a CEO to his board of directors, and he doesn't even receive a glance as pushback. I was mostly reading it as a joke, as it read similarly to his clumsy "wokewashing" of his all-male C-suite for the company about women for girls earlier in the film. But no, that was apparently a line that we were meant to take seriously, at least as a character development moment for the character to show up as Mr. Reasonable Status Quo for the finale. Oh, Mattel will absolutely not stop their consumerism-driving practices and corpo bullshit, and if they're considering letting a woman on the board they're not saying, but they'll market #relatable Barbies. Diversity Win, the doll you bought for your daughters for entirely too much money has depression now.

And that's not getting into the kind of nothing the Ken subplot ends by. To be fair, yes this is a movie primarily about Barbie, and I'm not going to sit on the same side as the chuds of the world who decry how terrible this movie is to men. No, my main concern is that the movie seems almost terminally incurious about what new status quo the story has brought about. Ok, the January 6th insurrection-type takeover of Barbieland by Kens was thwarted, good, great, in favor of that, but the ending essentially goes "and nothing will fundamentally change in Barbieland because of this," which is a bit of a reach to me. Sure, as a more ideal eternal idea realm, it's not like I expected lengthy legal procedures and court hearings or anything, but surely it is pretty bleak to go "Oh, this problem that clearly existed before the current crisis isn't a problem anymore because the crisis is over."

This is veering into Ken apologia, but frankly, I blame Gosling, who adds a surprising amount of pathos to the lost little boy Ken who tries to find himself in a relationship with a woman who just isn't into him like that. Granted, he ends up temporarily finding himself in the role of douchebag manosphere influencer whose sheer masculinity cargo cult influence just about brings about the end of his world, so perhaps some sort of consequence is in order. It could also very well be that some of my frustration is that Ken arguably doesn't suffer any consequences, as I don't count "even after all of that she's not into you dude" as a consequence, it's just a thing that continues to be true.

I could continue. I'm probably going to continue in the review. Check it out if I ever finish that cursed thing.

#writing #peebs thinks #ask-a-thon #thursday ask a thon #barbie 2023

3 notes · View notes

pacifymebby · 1 year

Note

bestie i'm really stuck for money right now and need to think of inspiration, do you have any tips? I'm even considering starting an Only Fans hahaha

Hi lovely, i guess it depends on how stuck and what youve already got in place to get money. Like, I'm very wary of only fans and wpuld suggest trying literally everything else first just because its presented as an easy money maker with no consequences but really it isnt, its quite an exploitative platform, and I think it requires a lot of work and persistence to get any actual income from it.

What I will say, is get on reddit and r/eroticasells, you can make a bit of cash to tide you over by writing erotica for people, but again, u have to be careful, generally get the money before u give them any work u know. So that u arent scammed.

You can do that on fiverr too, but you have to be extremely careful about what you write in your advert because they suspend accounts at the drop of a hat and then u have to wait three months to withdraw your earnings. When I was on there I would withdraw my money the second it cleared. But i still got caught out by them and don't use them anymore. Its annoying though because fiverr was how i found the best clients who were willing to pay.

I don't know if u can do things like take on extra hours at your work (idk this feels like something you'd habe already thought of and lile super patronising to even suggest but idk) i ended up getting a second job and then a third job when i couldnt get good hours. It was kinda exhausting but i guess worth it in the end cause i got to keep my independence.

What i would say is,

Don't be tempted to use a credit card or any kind of loan, i know we're in a cost of living crisis so those loan compamies and credit card men will be out in force trying to prey on people who are short of cash. You can build up credit debt so quickly and its scary and stressful af so don't be tempted!!

I tried (and am going to try again) selling my old clothes on depop. That was a lot of effort too for my adhd ish brain but it could work for u.

Then like other little things like, my dad taught me some good budgeting skills over the years i guess.

But try to plan how much u spend a week on food/travel/everything.

So rn I'm getting worried about my money again and I'm trying to spend no more than £15 a week shopping, so I'll try to plan meals and stuff. If you don't cook from scratch its much cheaper to buy your ingredients for stuff like pasta all seperately ect.

This feels patronising or obvious again though tbh so if its something ur already doing then I'm sorry i couldnt be more helpful.

Times are really really tough and shitty right now an am sorry you're struggling bestie.

Hope some of this was useful, if u want me to elaborate about the reddit thing I'll try haha x

2 notes · View notes

holocene-sims · 2 years

Text

next // previous

june 12, 2021 10:15 a.m. three lakes state park

[grant] thank you for inviting me out here, by the way. i pinky promise that knowing you don’t like fishing doesn’t change my opinion on coming out here with you.

[joseph] so why do you come out here?

[grant] i like spending time with you, first of all. i could care less what i do when i'm with you, i'd still enjoy it all the same. i mean, we could just watch paint dry and i feel like we could make that very entertaining.

[grant] plus i always kinda associate going fishing with you and uncle paddy getting me away from, uh, you know, the whole childhood abuse thing, so it’s relaxing. even if i hate fishing, it has a very powerful weird little psychological effect on me and it makes me feel very calm. it’s the same feeling i tend to get when i'm at your house.

[grant] and right now...that’s what i need. i like the feeling of being taken back to a nice place in my childhood. it feels good for the soul, i guess.

[joseph] you’ll be okay, you know? i believe in you.

[grant] i know. thank you. i have my moments and the moments have been terrible but i'm too stubborn to give up. things feel a little hopeless right now but i've been through worse. besides, i got some really solid advice in therapy yesterday.

[grant] and yes, there’s been a lot more in my head than just the whole relationship situation.

[joseph] i figured.

[joseph] you’re free to tell me about them, if you’d like. i know we all had a big talk last night but the door is always open for another one.

[grant] well, i kind of feel a little lost all around. i had my life pretty together and i was also quite happy for a long time. not that i didn’t have any issues ever because of course i did. but the last year has kind of blown everything open again. things were super stable but now i feel like i'm starting over a second time in life and i don’t know where to go from here. it's like being back where i was when i got out of college and was trying to get sober and lose the desire to die.

[grant] i never really got over the mess of last year. i mean, it started with health stuff and i was miserable and bedridden all year, then i had to leave my job and i'll probably never get the chance to go back. so i tried out air traffic control and hated it because, you know, i went into the industry to be a pilot, not to sit at a desk and get yelled at by them over things i can't control. and then after that, i stupidly signed up for grad school after i quit because i felt like it would be my best chance to find another decent paying job again. but i dropped out literally yesterday because i don’t know, it just doesn’t feel right. especially when it was dependent on the agreement that päivi would make the income for us while i did it. she’s gone, so i have to make money eventually again. i don't want to spend it on something i don't care much about anymore.

[grant] being in a relationship and planning for a wedding and the future and having a new house to work on gave me focus and made me happy. now all that stuff is gone. i mean, i still have the house but i don’t want to be there. i bought it so päivi and i could have a future and somewhere to call our own. it makes me nauseous to be in there right now.

[joseph] i understand. life takes the floor out from underneath you sometimes and when it’s gone, you can’t help but be confused. of course you feel lost, like you have no idea which direction to go.

[grant] i do not know what to do. i don’t. i had what i wanted and it’s literally all gone. the only thing i didn’t have back then was living at home and, well, here i am. i’m back in michigan, sans everything else.

[joseph] how set are you with money?

[grant] i mean, i'm fine for now. i guess i'm honestly super privileged in that way. i never had school debt because i got a full scholarship for college, then the money that was originally for elizabeth’s college fund was signed over to me by my dad and i used that for flight school. first and last nice deed he and my mom ever did for me. i didn’t even pay very much in rent ever because at least when i lived in los angeles, i split the money three ways with alex and lilly, so i paid just a couple hundred dollars and pocketed all the rest of my salary and saved it. i bought the house with cash, so no mortgage, and i don't have any car payments because obviously, i own your old car.

[grant] so i still have a decent amount in savings but, like, i don’t want to blow it all, especially when i'm paying a ridiculous amount on medical bills. it was bad when i had insurance but now i'm paying out of pocket for my meds. you don't want to know how much they cost.

[joseph] how long could you go without income, though?

[grant] just depends how i use it. i don’t spend a lot and i never have, but i took your advice and made up an amount of money i don’t want my bank account to go under. so if i want to abide by that at least semi-closely, well, i don’t know, i guess i would be okay for at least a few months. i don’t have a lot of expenses so i can survive for a bit and also not have to radically change my life. all i pay for is like medical stuff and then phone, internet, food...the basics.

[grant] although i really do not want to be that ‘child of rich parents’ who can just vibe and coast by on savings. that’s embarrassing. humiliating. i feel like scum not working.

[joseph] may i offer you a different perspective?

[grant] absolutely.

[joseph] i know what you mean by saying that but i guarantee you are not the same as those rich kids. you’ve worked hard your entire life and you’ve been dedicated to every job you’ve ever had. you’re not a freeloader. and listen, grant, you’ve had a difficult life. if anyone deserves a few months or a year to rest and reset and prepare again for the future, it’s you. if you have the financial ability to stick it out and be patient in deciding your options, you should take the opportunity.

[joseph] and you know why else you should consider it? because that’s what your grandmother and i worked our fingers to the bone for our entire lives for. that's why we came to this country. we did it not for ourselves but for our kids and our grandkids and whoever else can benefit from our labor. that’s what our parents did, too. you come from a long line of folks who grew up dirt poor and barely scraped by with grueling manual labor or working two to three jobs each. we all did it because we had to so as not to starve...but we also all did it so each generation could live an easier life than we did.

[joseph] our labor sent your mother to medical school partially, helped financed your aunt and uncle to get started in life, and finally let your grandmother and i pursue a passion with opening the bakery. if all that work means this family can do what they want, it’s worth it. so if you want the time off to figure things out, you’d get no judgment from us. in fact, it’d make us happy. we want you all to live the comfortable life we never got to taste until we were old and "retired" and finally free. you having financial privilege is good, in my opinion. it’s not really a bad thing in my eyes unless you’re a capitalist bastard...and well, you aren’t, are you?

[grant] great points. and no, sir. i do not own the means of production and i am as anti-capitalist as the folks who raised me. i am a proud self-actualized member of the proletariat. and by the the people who raised me, i mean you and maimeó. definitely not my parents.

[grant] by the way, i thought my mom stole the money from you for school? or is that just a rumor? i always heard rumblings about it but never asked for obvious reasons.

[joseph] oh lord, that’s a long story. don't even remind me or get me started. we gave her a bit of money for tuition, at least what we could afford to part with, but yes, she did steal from us.

[joseph] and no, i don’t even regret it. i don’t regret it because her medical school provided you and your sisters with the only good thing she could ever manage to do and that was get rich. am i furious still that she ruined our savings fund? yes, but i have to acknowledge it was partially our fault.

[grant] wait, how could it ever be your fault? the bitch stole from you!

[joseph] if you really want to know, it’s because we kept a lot of our savings in an envelope in your grandmother’s jewelry lock box back in the day. i guess we had an outdated distrust of banking and i guess your mother somehow knew about the envelope. she took every dollar out of it and never looked back. never apologized either.

[joseph] we should have disowned her the moment we found out. we wanted to at first and maybe that's cruel, but…

[grant] it’s probably better you didn’t. in hindsight, i guess. not throwing her out meant you were still around when i was born. had i been all alone with no other family, i would not have survived. sorry, that's selfish to think about myself. no, i'm really, terribly sorry. that's fucked she stole from you. you worked hard for that money. i'm not surprised she did something like that but geez. sure, let me thank my parents who worked two jobs each their entire lives to provide for me by stealing their hard-earned cash. you didn't deserve for her to treat you like that...and i know that's not the only thing she's done.

[joseph] it's not selfish. i agree with you. those are exactly my thoughts. if you’ve ever wondered why we never did disown her, not until your graduation night when everything went down, it’s because we knew she’d take you all and run off and we’d never see you again. i'm not happy we had to keep her around in our life. it was painful but the pain was worth it to keep you kids near us. we felt like we couldn't back out until you were all grown and safely independent. it's sad we had to play her game but we didn't know how else to fix things. maybe there was a better way. but we tried our best. we tried.

[grant] oh, no, i totally understand. you had to play her game at least a little bit. and honestly, i'm thankful for that because you’re right, she would have run off with us. and anything else you could have done to stop her, she would have found her way out of. she found her way out of trouble when you sued her over custody, didn't she? but it doesn't matter anymore because we all disowned her in the end. fuck her. that's enough talking about her, though.

[joseph] now how do you know about us taking her to court? no, never mind. i agree with you, we don’t need to waste our precious time on her. but hey, listen, i was going to ask. is there not any way you could go back to your old job?

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #ts4 screenshots #simblr #hlcn: everything the stars promised #backstory backstory backstoryyyyy #holocene.docx #holocene.png #hlcn: grant #hlcn: joseph

17 notes · View notes

merkleymrack · 1 year

Text

i didn't really make any new years resolutions (aside from doing dry january i guess) because i don't really tend to stick to them anyway. But the other thing is that a lot of the things i think would be worthwhile to try are things that really frighten me.

i spend a lot of time very afraid and avoiding being paralysed by fear. for about a year now i've been kind of forcing myself out of my shell and doing things that make me happy and feel good in the moment, and feel more at home in my body. i really needed that and i need to keep doing it, but i also have to practice addressing the stuff that is stressing me out. i've coped with a lot of things by either ignoring it until it passed or fixating on it.

one thing (1) i really ought to do is address the wrist pain i've had for years now. but i don't want to find out it will never go away, so i avoided going to a physiotherapist. another thing (2) is unpacking my boxes and setting up my room properly, but i'm already dreading having to move out again at some point so i didn't want to commit to it. the third thing (3) is getting my finances and documents in order, and i suppose i'm in the process of that, although making important phonecalls makes me feel ill, and it is taking much longer than it ought to, but it will get done. i would like to do roller derby again (4) but i am quite unfit now and it's difficult and it takes a lot out of me to get over myself and go to practice. then again i don't really have any commitments other than a part-time job right now so it would be a good time to give it another go. (5) i want to get more in touch with my transmasculinity and get on a waiting list for gender related care, i am determined to do so. that part of me has been closeted or repressed in one way or another for years but it refuses to die.

i would like to draw... (6) i miss it. it's hard to express myself in any more permanent way. i haven't really wanted to take photographs, or to write or draw. it feels embarassing. when i was younger i kept desperately trying to figure out who i was or what i was trying to achieve, i tried to impress others, sometimes specific people, sometimes holding myself to an imagined standard of presentability. i was highly concerned with whether i could someday make money or a career out of the things i was doing. i didn't realise i was doing it a lot of the time, until i looked back on it later. now i'm aware i don't really know who i am or what i'm doing and it doesn't matter, and i don't feel like i want to impress anybody. now begins the struggle to convince myself it's worthwhile anyway. to do it for fun, to pass the time, to entertain myself, to help myself, to communicate. to keep things private if i want to. not because they aren't "good enough" but because i don't always need an audience to justify my decisions or to validate my feelings.

on the other hand i've been feeling a neurotic desire to document and catalogue everything creeping up on me. it's been there for a long time, taking different forms. maybe as long as i can remember. because i'm afraid i'll lose it or forget it... what if it was important?... i fight this feeling. maybe i'll document some things. right now it is much more important to me to be present in real life without a stomachache, without being occupied with what i would feel like if i was in a different situation alrogether. i like to share something with another person and believe that i'm not the only one holding on to that thought anymore. i like to believe that maybe it will come back to us someday in a different form, or maybe not. that there may be some mystical quality in what persists and what doesn't, a serendipity, that nothing truly important will be lost forever. i know that not everything is important but it's difficult to tell what is and what isn't. i've had to lie to myself a lot about what it is i truly care about, to survive some really deep pain. i'm trying to be more honest about my true feelings wherever possible. i'm trying to get through kneejerk reactions, being embarassed to be vulnerable, or angry or worried about something not being quite right, and figure out what i really want underneath this muck.

i don't know what 2023 is going to bring. i used to approach a new year as a "clean slate", an opportunity to make up for last year's missed opportunities and mistakes. i don't care to do that anymore. for a long time now i've compulsively made plans for my future in order to reassure myself there is a correct way to proceed and that things will be okay if i follow the plan. i spent so much time concerned with imagining possible futures because it was painful to fully grasp my reality. i don't have "a Plan" anymore. it scares me a lot but increasingly i am feeling free of a lot of weight i was carrying for a long time.

i have some lowercase p plans... i want to make a zine. i want to go for long walks. i want to make my bedroom nice and get a lot of good sleep. save up some money. spend quality time with cherished friends. i'd like to get another job that is at least vaguely related to my interest in arts and culture. maybe i'll go back to college but it will be part time if i do so. eventually i want to move out but i probably won't be able to do that this year without loans. i think i'd like to go to croatia this summer, even if just for a short visit.

i had some really hard times last year and i also had some really wonderful ones. for the first time in a long while i had a lot of genuine peace too. i hope for more peace this year. i am trying to allow for it.

#mine

2 notes · View notes

arrowpunk · 2 years

Text

Feel free to ignore I just feel like putting this all together Somewhere

So the past couple of weeks have had so many things happen to me

-Scheduled my surgery (Insurance won't cover it I've gotta go into approximately $13,000 in medical debt, or come up with that amount 2 weeks before surgery) (I'm just happy it's scheduled tbh)

-Landlord screwed me and my roommate over majorly and now we have to pay to rent the place out for another month at an inflated rate even tho neither of us live there anymore (UGH)

-Got moved in to the new place, new place is lady from church's basement, kind woman who isn't charging me rent b/c she wants me to be able to save money (Yay! Thank the Lord for this woman or I would be living out of my car)

-Reconnected with one of my uncles? Learned a bunch of family shit that was kept hush hush and secret from specifically me and my siblings, but really shouldn't have been??? Glad I know now?? It's a whole thing, anyway reconnecting with my uncle was nice, turns out he and his wife are on a similar deconstruction/reconstruction journey w/ evangelical Christianity

-Partner moved in with me!!! (This is Wonderful and I am So Very Happy about it)

-Found out that uh. Apparently. Without asking me. My parents are gonna change their will so if they die I get full custody of all of my younger siblings??? Tried explaining to my mom that I didn't want that, and wouldn't be able to do a good job of that if that ever did need to happen. Was completely brushed off. So that's a thing now. Here's hoping my parents don't die in a freak accident because I would not handle becoming a single mother/sister to my siblings that are still at home very well

-My desktop tower died, so now I need to buy a new one (Approximately $1300-$1500, cannot afford this right now, gotta wait like 2-3 paychecks for this thing, rip to my ability to do art for the next month and crap I have no fucking idea how I'm gonna run DnD w/o a working desktop b/c all my Stuff is on there and I cannot run it from my phone I think my brain would shrivel up and die if I tried to do that)

-Found a Different aunt and uncle(?) online b/c I wanted to try to reconnect, uncle(?) is now using they/them pronouns and I feel so bad for finding this out it wasn't on purpose, as far as I know they are not out to the family, because most of this family is Very Conservative and it would not go well, have now tried contacting them to let them know I saw but also let them know that do not worry I will not out them to any family members of course but oof I'm so sorry I saw that I know I wasn't supposed to see that. I wish there was a non-gendered word for aunt/uncle because I don't know what else to Use for them right now

Anyway just So Much has happened within the span of like a week and a half, the last 5 things on that list happened within the last 4 days so yeah, there's a good amount of good stuff and also a good amount of crappy stuff and then a good amount of ???? I don't even know how to feel about it stuff

So I sure am feeling some kind of way about the state of my life right now, mostly just stressed about the state of my bank account lol because I was getting pretty happy w/ feeling financially semi-secure, and then was hit with a bunch of bills all at once and now it's just oh shit guess who really needs to be super careful with spending for the next like many many months, main worry is w/ the loan I need to take out for the surgery, not knowing if the amount I'm gonna have to pay monthly on that is gonna be bad enough that I won't be able to find a place to rent b/c can't afford paying on the loan and rent. But anyway I'm sure things will work themselves out eventually. Just a bit stressful right now but I'll be fine

#ramblings of an arrow #basically so much has happened in the past week/week and a half #vague life update I guess mostly I just wanted to list this all out somewhere #because it feels like so much and I guess it Is so much but it helps to see it all in one place

4 notes · View notes

meditating-dog-lover · 8 days

Text

Skin and physical and mental goals update

My skin is a lot better now. It's by no means perfect, but my skin previously was completely dry, red, irritated, itchy, and oozing and bleeding. I'll take what I have now over that. My tacrolimus ointment helps and it's not cold and dry here anymore, which is another bonus. Since March I have not had any flareups that resulted in my using a towel or carpet or piece of fabric to itch which resulted in an oozy and bloody and painful mess. I do get itchiness, but I can manage it by ignoring it or, if it's a stronger itch, running hot water on my hands and rubbing til the itchiness is gone. It's not a good habit, but it's a lot better than physically itching and causing severe skin inflammation and open, bloody, and oozy skin. But don't do this if you don't have eczema.

I'll be honest I haven't actively seen doctors growing up. I've only done blood work twice in my 20s and they were generic blood panels (blood cell, lipid, thyroid, blood sugar, etc...). Everything is within range for me, thankfully, except I have eosinophilia. There is definitely a link between eczema and eosinophilia, which is why I am going to do more blood work to test for my histamine and immunoglobulin levels. I'm going to do that tomorrow and I can't wait (I don't think I've ever gotten excited over blood work and no one normally does, but this will truly help me find the missing puzzle pieces to my chronic eczema problem).

I've also ran out of flaxseed oil and want to switch to fish oil, since the omega 3 fatty acids (EPA and DHA) found in fish are more bioavailable, whereas the body needs to convert the fatty acids found in flaxseed oil (ALA) and it's not always 100% successful (based on what I've read). I bought a bottle of the super omega 3 fish oil from Whole Foods, and I'll start taking it after I do my blood work since I don't want to start a new supplement beforehand.

I'm still waiting on my skin culture and gut evaluation results. Once I have everything my doctor and I will be able to figure out what's really causing my eczema and how I can work towards fixing those issues and having longterm healthy skin. I want to be healthy, I don't want to rely on medication that only temporarily gets rid of symptoms. I'm young and healthy and fail to see the need to become heavily dependent on pharmaceuticals unless absolutely necessary (like antibiotics and antihistamines which I always have with me). I can easily apply steroids or calcineurin inhibitors on my skin and it will heal, but the inflammation will absolutely come back after a bit. It's not a longterm solution at all. But it will help me until I make the more drastic changes after I get my lab results.

I bought a nail strengthener yesterday. It's the Essie hard to resist pink glow shade. Like I said my nails are already strong and healthy, but I did get a topical strengthener to give it a boost. I had a nail break Friday morning and another one kind of break yesterday, but not as bad and I was able to file and shape it. But it's a very pretty color and my nails look nice. As I said because I have wider nail beds, I'm trying to get them into an oval shape because oval nails look pretty and feminine. Because of the width I'll actually have to grow my nails out longer so they appear more oval, otherwise they would be round. So far I've been able to grow my nails out, I just need to find out how to shape them. I also want to stop buffing and cutting my cuticles and I would rather push them back instead (I found a nail tech channel on Youtube and she advises against buffing and cuticle cutting). I also want to figure out how to shape oval nails. I kind of know how to but it's not perfect. With that being said I feel like I can learn how to do nail stuff myself without having to go to a salon and spend a lot of money. On the same topic of physical goals, I'm still waiting on my eyebrows to grow out and I've lost weight through intermittent fasting and I can see it on my stomach and legs. I want to work on reducing my body dysmorphia (which was very bad last year and even the year before and is thankfully better now) so I can buy nice clothes. I do not have good clothing style, but that can always be a goal to work towards. My mom and sister can help me.

Regarding emotional well-being, I'm journaling as always and I'm going to therapy. My therapist wants me to do somatic exercises. I'm not someone who can sit and relax for 10 minutes because I'm antsy and my mind is always racing. This does contribute to stress and anxiety, and I definitely deal with those. I want to learn how to practice mindfulness and relaxation, even doing stretching and working on my posture (I do a lot of walking as exercise, stretching is also something that can help and I can benefit from). Even getting professional massages can help, since I do have muscle tension and it will give me an opportunity to relax. I want to also start reading, which also requires me to ignore my personal life issues and to relax and be at ease. It's embarrassing to admit that despite the fact that I love learning and educating myself, I don't like reading. And reading is something I should be doing. I just need to work on relaxation and clearing my mind, and thankfully my therapist is helping me with that.

Everything will work out. I can't wait to do blood work and to continue mindfulness.

0 notes

the-firebird69 · 19 days

Text

Tracy Chapman - Fast Car (Live)

youtube

It is about Billy z and she thinks it's about my husband and I it's not really it's like this helpful thing she sent to herself and she got it again and it's it in New Hampshire it's near the road and they take the car and my husband found a picture of it where it ended up no he says he thinks that they found it and it was Trump who drives out with Lily and they're trying to find it Arnie and he thinks that he left and went into the fleet and went into one of the spheres and his mom is upset kind of angry but that's what Dad used to do and he used to make things right and he come back and he'd find her and these days you can't do it anymore you have to protect them and I think he may have left too it's been too long or s*** could be sitting there and it's really hard to tell that top can open and close to the nuclear plant and that's where you think he went out through or will and people don't believe it so they don't really check one of the tires is defunct and it's not radioactive and to get to the base you have to rip the crap out of it and it's not necessarily true it's ways to get in that are easy like acid so they can test for acid and people have no and Max is really interested

Hera Zues

He didn't say anything to me he just said something to Dee and I heard something like he's going to come back for me he always says it it's different though this time is afraid that he looked afraid to our son and he said I failed and that's what he was saying but he does that and yeah he'll play it all the way through and I hope he's okay

Cammilla

The song to Lily is about with Billy z she finds her car now she finds his car and escapes after they get out of this prison bus and we think Trump might have been on it too and she broke the door now is our friend here now my grandson helped her and she said she lifted something real heavy and he helped her and I'll tell you why she's doing okay it's it comes in and it comes in handy but really this is terrible people can't keep it straight we're having a hell of a time and the empire is trying to make things not happen that way it's going that way I hear the story of trump and it's horrifying and I see why they're making an analogy and a whole bunch of stuff and it's awesome around like he's nobody and it's going to be a problem

Biden

I'm in so much trouble and taxes and Court criminal stuff aces after me and now this the entire empire and he says don't tell people you're related to me and some more of the story I probably won't help him either LOL this is going to be terrible he says thank you very much if you want to check out early you can help me and yeah that's fun no thanks I was one reason it go through with it but really it's a thankless job what he's doing and he has nothing he says he's going to sell the car if he gets it and it's because he can't move if he has a car it costs too much money and what we say is you can sleep in the car and he says where campgrounds nearly attend for like 3 days then you have to move and I will say something they treat him very badly and it's horrible and you can't get out of it and some campgrounds to content for a month but really they don't let you it's a lot of work takes a lot of time and really it is a huge deal to pack it all up everyday drive around spend the money down I don't see what we get out of it and people don't either no they're really wicked around here you said the Giants might save the day that's another story it seems like his brother went up there and his kids came back with him and he couldn't keep the others alive and you stayed alive out of many reasons and he looks like he promised to fix them and yeah okay Tommy f tries to say he's him this is terrible

Trump

Olympus

#Youtube

0 notes