#and like it really truly just boils down to this
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Wait, hold on, does Salem not know about Oz's whole like. Security measures Light put in. I feel like if she did she'd be more forgiving bc Oz is literally constantly being subjected to psychological and even physical torture (if he fights the merge). He's on The Tightest Leash Ever and basically has very little to no control on what he does. Like it's pretty clear he secretly agrees with Salem, but he can hardly think about it (seemingly has to communicate that vaguely via fairytales in a book) let alone actually act on it.
I feel like she likely doesn't know. I think if Salem knew about the metaphorical shock collar she'd be pissed on his behalf and probably be more forgiving. Granted it doesn't undo the hurt she's experienced but I think it'd make a lot of things make more sense to her. Can only imagine how that revelation would go down
yeah exactly literally all she knows is that
he was given a choice to come back
to unite humanity on light’s behalf
he said yes
he intends to see it through
he reincarnates by taking over somebody else, almost instantaneously*
because that is everything ozma knew when he told her the truth.
(*this changed after he divided his magic to create the maidens—using what magic he has left accelerates the merger; getting rid of most of his magic was likely ozma’s best effort to stop killing his hosts, even if it didn’t quite work)
hence "why do you keep. coming. back." to salem this looks like oz has been choosing to come back, over and over and over again, killing someone each time, solely for the purpose of enacting his god’s genocidal design—and she’s laying that next to her memories of the person who rescued her from her abusive, tyrannical father, and her memories of the person who lied to her for more than a decade to manipulate her into unwittingly serving her own tormentor, and going WHY while also, i’d imagine, questioning whether that person she remembers from millions and millions of years ago was ever even real, or if she was just too naive and too blinded by infatuation to see his true self.
after all… she only knew him a few years, before he died, and then she was alone for all that time, and then he came back and deceived her, tricked her—she absolutely does not believe anymore that he truly loved her at all, the second time—and he has to all appearances spent thousands of years since then DETERMINED to rid the world of her at any cost. what’s more likely? that he really was this wonderful person she remembers, or that a girl who’d never left her cell before and never known anything but cruelty and abuse saw her rescuer through the rosiest of rose-colored glasses?
with the history and the scant information she has it is so much easier for salem to believe that ozma is just…awful, and she was a naive love-blinded fool not to see it before he stabbed her in the back, than to hold onto “no, the good person i knew for a tiny fraction of our lives millions of years ago is the one who’s real, something is wrong.”
but yeah like. the instant she learns what’s really going on here, that ozma agreed to something he didn’t understand once and he’s been shackled to it ever since by a curse designed to destroy his sense of self and Force Him to obey… like at that point it isn’t even really a matter of forgiving him, it’s all of the hatred and anger and hurt and confusion she feels toward ozma now wrenching away from him onto the god of light. i think she’s going to snap to HOW DARE HE DO THIS TO YOU so fast it’ll even make her head spin.
esp bc like, waves at 6.4, salem is already boiling alive in guilt over her part in their daughters dying. as soon as she has the information to put together that ozma has essentially been psychologically tortured into becoming light’s weapon i think she is going to immediately realize that light set her and ozma up to fail on purpose, counting on her to lash out when ozma betrayed her so as to seal off the only possible escape he might have, meaning she has been manipulated into becoming an instrument of ozma’s torture just as he has hers. which 1. will obviously inflame her self-hatred to horrific new extremes but also 2. this woman is going to be out for BLOOD.
this is the why and the how of the ozlem reconciliation; ozma is cursed and salem doesn’t know that yet, so she’s furious and vengeful because she doesn’t understand why he’s doing this but she’s also just one revelation away from snapping back emotionally to the time she tried to Bodily Shield Ozma From Divine Fire.
#this is rly made clear in v8 like#salem is desperate for an explanation bc she doesn’t know why he’s done any of this
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i have thoughts regarding that whole thing abt not shaming bisexual women for having a boyfriend
i think way too often we frame it as "it makes sense for bi women to end up with men because there are more men attracted to women than wlw" and like. sure thats true. but also maybe some bisexual women just prefer men. maybe some bisexual women just like men more
because as someone who is seen as a bisexual woman (even though im not a woman) i know for a fact im more attracted to men that i am to non men. and i dont think this is a bad thing, i think its a reality that we should accept because it doesnt make bi people less bi to have preferences for a gender
but apparently if you are a bisexual woman or woman aligned person and say that you prefer men then the general public will just assume that youre not bisexual, as if they knew your sexuality better than yourself
at the end of the day i think this all boils down to the misunderstanding of what bisexuality truly means. some bi people have preferences, others dont. bisexuality isnt a one size fits all (neither is any other sexuality)
also some peoples response to this is always smth along the lines of "so now its revolutionary for a woman to like men?"
which is just really missing the point. im not talking about revolution im saying the bisexual experience is wide and personal to each one of us
i think bisexual people can have preferences the same way i think we dont need a new label to call people who like all genders without preference, because both of these experiences are part of the bisexual reality. this might just be my opinion though
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I think at the end of the day I just want to be allowed to be a complex and complicated human being and know that people are still going to choose to be in my life ya know?
#was thinking about this today in light of where my brain has been the last couple of weeks#and like it really truly just boils down to this#the safety to be a mess and complex and emotional and wrong and just human ya know#like I always have people say that they feel safe to be a mess of they thank me for allowing them the space to be a mess without judgment#but when I ask for the same it’s too much or I’m too much#like I want to know that someone is going to see beyond that#that they’re going to see the person behind all of the complexities an say yes you’re worth being inconvenienced for#like is that too much to ask for?#I feel like this is why I was struggling so much these last couple of weeks#and processing and coming to this realization has been so validating#mine#text post
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keep thinking abt hoshina and mina GOD.. (spoilers for manga and kn8 bside)
given what hoshina said about his previous division treating him like a burden/parasite just because he can’t handle firearms and specializes in his swords… how tiring must it have been to have to work with those people each mission despite having a common goal?
and how tiring must it have been to be constantly told off by his own father for wanting to continue his family’s tradition, or to be told to give up on being part of the jakdf by his own teacher -
before mina, a high ranking commander personally reached out to him, to recruit him into her team?
the fact that she didn’t see him during joint trainings and think: why bother with that? why bother with blades when bigger kaiju will appear? when she personally deals with bigger kaiju herself.
but she instead saw him and thought: he can help me, he can cover my weaknesses (ashiro not being able to handle a vegetable peeler is hilarious) and he’s someone i can trust
she sees potential in him, she sees how he can excel within her division, she saw hoshina and as captain - has probably heard everyone talk shit about him but she was still certain that he’d be one of her division’s greatest asset
(and even when platoon leader ebina refused to let hoshina help out, mina stood firm on her decision and her claim that hoshina would be useful. when she asked him if he could take down the big kaiju, and he could only promise saving the child within it - she believed him, took his word for it and waited until he carried out his promise.)
and now hoshina is the vice captain, putting faith in a new recruit whom most people wouldn’t have believed in… full fucking cycle..
tldr: it makes me rly fucking emotional to think about how hoshina was given a reason to continue improving with his swords after being told to give up all this time… and how mina had never once thought his abilities were useless 👍
also makes me crazy how protective he is of his position as vice captain, as the person who stands by captain ashiro’s side…
#egg boils#im crazyyyyyy#soshimina#thank you kn8 bside hoshina arc . II CANTTTTT#when we get to the next two episodes i will be seated and crying#the video rings in my head like 20 times i say “i won’t let you have my position next to captain ashiro okay do u want me to kms…?#long post#sorry.#/9446#kaiju no.8#i need to look at my brain rot#sorry#every time i post it’s just like NURSE they’re saying the same thing again yes im saying this for the third time but i truly adore the bond#and mutual respect and her faith in him okay. hoshina makes me sad.#sometimes u just need the one (1) person to believe in u AND vouch for u no matter who decides to say shit…#the way he looked at her the two times she asked#him to join her division ohhhhh im crazy . love at first sight babes#hoshimina#<- idk which tag to use bc hsmn makes the most sense given we hear hoshina be called that#but .#gweh#yeah hoshimina probably makes most sense i’ll change my tags or just add what i deleted#also ☝️ they’re js really fucking goofy together#i think it’d take a few years before mina warms up to him but u can see how close they are (physical touch - bonking him#leaning close to read smth she’s showing him#taking a pic of him feeling down#etc etc please give me more interactions yall im starving#also btw on the flip side i think it’s a bit. You Know to have mina openly ask or recruit a new member who specifically for the sake of#Helping Her#for the sake of having someone she can rely on . like she relies on the entire division obviously but . BUT!!!!! listen listen [waves hands
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GATOR X MUNCH POSTERS LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, MY ART IS NOT FOR YOUR MEDIA ILLITERATE CRINGE ASSES
#blabble#txt#rant#genuinely get tf outa my trap house#not to exaggerated but like you genuinely disgust me#i actually feel so bad for Joe Kerry cus like#as an actor imagine: you pit your whole soul and energy into performing a truly believably miserable awful character#and then all your “fans” go and disregard every dimension you've carved in that character#and boil your character (your WORK) all down to sex and sex appeal#like...how fucking bleak#your life's work completely disregard because teens online think you're hot#not only disregarded but also just generally mischaracterized#like did we even watch the same show?#you really truly believe that the 500 y/o transgender vessel of god hitman is gonna fall for the racist sexist 20 something?#WHO KILLED HIS PSEUDO MAMA??????!!!!!!#DID WE WATCH THE SAME SHOW????????#ARE YOU THICK???
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ok SO i went and got out Most of my knives (i remembered I have a nonbinary knife only after i took the photos & also idk where it is currently. just imagine all these plus a nonbinary flag knife ok? ok)
HERE ^ is the most of them, minus that nonbinary knife. look at that fuckin mess. 32 shown here (i think) plus my nonbinary knife makes 33 blades (minus cooking knives, i dont count those for these purposes)(also counting the swiss army knife as only 1 bc lol)
& some explanations for them! gonna put these under a readmore bc it got Kinda long on accident whoops. Read Ahead if u wanna see me nerd out about my knife collection.
STARTING WITH my big ones.
my spear (gifted to me), my cane sword (from anime convention), my shitty $20 sword (also from anime convention. low quality but cool as hell), my teal mini sword + matching throwing knives (from online), my decorative axe (from a local store), my twin blades (my sharpest blades, theyre actually kinda scary how sharp they are, but i love them bc of it. from online), red saber (from online),
ANDDDDDDDDDDDD my favorite hefty bitch of a machete that i sleep with in my bed frame on the very right (inherited from my grandpa bc i was the first one who spotted it at Family Claiming Day)(this thing really is as long as my leg & much heavier than Any of the rest of the blades pictured here. i love it)
another view of the blades so u can better see how long they are. the big boys. they're lovely. 2nd heaviest blade is the cane sword when it's in its cane, mostly bc that handle has some Heft. tbh id feel safer using it as a bludgeoning weapon than a stabbing weapon, but having a cane sword is just plain cool
AND my smaller blades!
i have a lot of pocket knives. starting from the top left: golden pocket knife (from online), rainbow dragon (from online), rainbow HEFTY boy (heaviest pocket knife, from online), spider knife (from online), stiletto jade (from online), pathetic army boy (from local store, this knife has NO redeeming qualities, but it's mine <3), black stiletto (from local store), plain dagger man (from online), my damascus steel knife (was a gift, probably my singular most expensive knife. fancy boy), Dull Dagger Man (first blade i ever bought, from anime convention)
& for bottom row: teeny black knife (first pocket knife i owned, gift from my dad), lil rainbow knife (from local store), plain steel knife (from sketchy shop in gatlinburg + one of my Favorite knives), green dragon knife (from online, a real beaut), triple throwing knives (also from same sketchy shop in gatlinburg), the baby throwing knives again from the Big Boys pic but i included them again bc they r so teeny tiny, my keychain key blade (from online), swiss army knife (from online), & the pair of claw keychain baldes (from online)
many blades, many stories, so little time. theyre great tho.
SOME FOCUSES:
^ these are all my spring-assisted knives, sorted from worst feel to best feel to open. based on quickness, ease, & general satisfaction. leftmost is leftmost bc i didnt even Know it was spring assisted, bc it doesnt have a nice lil tab on the back to press. no u gotta press on one of the rungs. but once u do it Does spring open, so i included it. next 3 are just Average in feel (these 3 are sibling blades anyways, nice of them to be together). jade stiletto is smooth and quick, nice to open. Hefty Boy rainbow has some THUNK to it when i open it. like that babey's got PURPOSE to it. added to the general size of it & it's just pretty great. AND THEN MY TWO FAVS, green dragon is a perfect beautiful knife & feels very great to open. and then Steel Sketchy Knife aka my 2nd pocket knife & first i bought for myself. it looks plain in comparison to the others, but she's anything But. quick, light, Sharp. it has the Best feel to open, bc it's just a fast SHHK. probably my knife that's seen the most use (aside from my small black knife) just bc of how great it feels to open. i love that knife so much for Real.
& the final highlight, somewhat related, are the knives I actually use the most in my daily life!
on the left are the knives I keep in my bag by default, & thus the ones I carry with me Everywhere i go. small black pocket knife bc she's Ol' Faithful, & a pretty lowkey knife for basic tasks when I dont wanna raise any eyebrows lol. silver knife bc as previously stated i Love using it so much. i take it out when i gotta breakdown a lot of boxes at work, & it Never disappoints. small rainbow keychain key knife bc it's cute & i like to keep it on my keychain. & swiss army knife bc Obviously im gonna keep the swiss army knife in my bag for if i need an emergency tool.
on the right are the three knives I keep out in my apartment. black stiletto lives on my bathroom counter, for bathroom knife needs. green stiletto i keep on my table next to where I hang out in my bedroom, for any couch time needs. & then green dragon beaut camps out on top of some shelves by my front door bc it's Great for opening boxes, aka something I will do for packages I receive after pulling them in the front door. it works for me.
all the rest of my knives live either in a box (for small ones) or my closet (for big ones). i may have a lot of knives, but somehow I never feel like i have enough. i just love collecting them so much <3
#speculation nation#knives#what this boils down to are. my favorites are: Big Hefty Machete that i managed to stab myself with on accident#by dropping it point-first on my finger (whoops)#a plain silver knife i got from a sketchy shop in gatlinburg (there really are so many there) that just feels SO good to use#a beautiful green dragon knife bc it's well balanced & feels great to open. also pretty.#black stiletto knife just bc i love how it feels in my hand. it's also very pointy#& small black knife bc she's ol' faithful. & great for using for average shit to not freak people out#(imagine if i brought ol' Hefty Rainbow out w/ its glass breaking base & wonderful hooked blade. ppl would give me Looks for sure)#i love many other knives but those r my favs#if i had to pick an ABSOLUTE fav it'd have to be my machete. it having drawn my blood did Not discourage me from loving it#it feels very uhh. idk it makes me feel secure having it nearby#if for nothing else than someone seeing me wield that & being like 'what the FUCK' bc it's kinda pretty intimidating lol.#long and heavy. wouldnt actually be great for combat bc that thin part between the blade & the hilt could snap the moment you hit bone#but good for me i never intend to use my blades for that! it feels comforting mostly as an intimidation factor.#the comfort being like. if someone broke in lol. that's why i sleep with it in my bed frame. so i can have it onhand Just In Case#aka it's like sleeping with a gun under my pillow except i just keep a massive fucking knife next to me instead. works for me#not the longest of my blades but it's the heaviest of my blades by far. i feel very lucky to own it.#anyways this has been the Knife Ramble by yours truly. this took me like 2 hours to gather & take pictures of & write this summary#APPRECIATE MY WORK at documenting my collection. this is the first time ive done this in several years.#wish i'd found that nonbinary knife first... oh well...
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sometimes i think i’m a fully proper binary guy. and then i think about gender for a minute too long and
#no but i am a guy i’m not non binary#but equally what makes me a man? what is masculinity?? how can i identify with something i don’t understand?? but i am a man! but why?? what#does that mean???? what makes anyone anything and does it matter??? no of course not! all that matters is that people can comfortably view#themselves and that’s the point of gender; to be comfortable#and gender *roles* are just bullshit and not real. but if not for gender roles where does gender come from?? again does it matter????#i mean really. we’re all just people and it’s about being happy. these boxes exist for a variety of reasons but if there’s happiness in the#box then you take the fucking box#you can have as many boxes as you like. or none! you just do what makes you happy. .. but then what makes me happy#cause as i say. i am a man completely. i wouldn’t be happy if someone referred to me as not a man. but am i a Man? do i want to be?#if masculinity is built upon stereotypes and i can never truly meet those stereotypes then what makes me a man? it’s the feeling of it?#the euphoria in being someone’s son. someone’s brother. someone’s boyfriend. you know? maybe that’s all it needs to be#i don’t have to understand masculinity to be a man. maybe no one actually understands masculinity or feminity for that matter because theyre#not tangible things. that’s what it boils down to it’s fucking intangibility and culture isn’t it#and i mean i think in a sense that’s beautiful? gender boxes can suck because of what we say are in them but really inherently? the fact#that humans have such an array of ways to make ourselves feel more comfortable in how we talk about ourselves? that’s incredible#i think that’s all i have to say for now#once again this is macbeths fault fuck shakespeare why does this always happen#ezra’s real life rambles#tldr i am a binary man but in a silly way i think. ever so slightly to the left. but i like being seen just as a guy and that’s easy enough#sorry to uh broadcast this on tumblr dot com if you read all of this i hope this was interesting
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I really want to know more about how Yeong Shin feels about Ahn/I wish they interacted more. and I would also like to know how Lee Chang would react to Ahn's massacre if he ever did find out
#I think Seo Bi would be the first person to know about Yeong Shin's past bc they have trauma bonded in my mind#but I think Yeong Shin would tell Lee Chang at some point#I do really like that lord ahn is like. a moral guy but also has done immoral things#it's interesting. makes me like his character more than just a guy who unquestioningly helps the prince ya know#and also makes him being turned very ironic#like a penance#it also reminds me of the brief interaction between Deok-seong and Yeong Shin...#deok seong apologizing vs yeong shin killing him but how that was actually a mercy to keep him from turning#idk I think a lot of it boils down to who yeong shin truly blames. and how his revenge isn't blind and doesn't carry a wide scope#ahhh I love him I want to pick apart his mind#kingdom 2019
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i dont even work tomorrow but im filled with dread that i wont be able to just sleep in over and over again the whole next week
#the bin#:( to be honest i think id rather still live with my parents than have to deal with this#maybe its just cause i dont have transportation or live alone#i still dont feel like i have freedom of being an adult. maybe bc the person i live with acts like theyre more of an adult and have more#right over where we live. why do i have to have the smaller room anyway? she cant find any good justification that doenst boil down to#'youre younger than me' which is not a good reason. and i dont even care that much but like. ahe decided that she deserves it more than me#because she wants equal control over the common space too bc she spends more time there#i spend almost all my time in my room. in my opinion i think that means i should get the bigger room but she fully decided thats not at all#an option. she doenst even USE one of her closets or her bathroom. the only good reason she should have it is that it has an aircon#and my room doesnt and she overheats easier but like. thats never the reason she uses. idk.#i really truly wish i wasnt forced to move in with her. we had been planning to move in togeteh but i expected her to treat me like a adult#she just refuses to see me as one. its exhausting especially considering im the one keeping us afloat financially#the reason i had to call put sick this past week is because i was burnt out from faxing her mistakes and trying to keep us from getting#kicked out. idk. im tired of this and im tired of her#and i keep telling her she needs to treat me like an adult and an equal now that things have changed and she refuses to even#acknowledge that she doesnt. she treats me exactly the same as before. idk. sorry i complain so much#i really dont wanna go back to work :(
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#been playing dqxi recently#yes 10000 years late whatever#up until a certain point in the story i was like yeah i guess this game is good but its a pretty generic jrpg plot#the reviews saying it was the best game ever are a bit exaggerated :/#then i got to the tree abd uh#well ok#i was expecting soemthting to go wrong but i was like oh someones gonna steal my orbs or the sword or whatever#instead i got catastrophic world ending event#well!!!!!!!!!!!#i really liked the little side plots where u olay as the other party members for a while after everyone gets seperated!!!#truly do wish jades plot wasnt boiled down to getting objectified and forced to wear a sexy bunny girl outfit but#what was i expecting really#sylvando is the Love of my Life!!!!! thought i would hate him and his stupid clown outfit at first but nope#perfect good time boy i adore u#also erik ......i am crying blob emoji over u#what do u meán he lost all his memories fuck off!!!!!!!!!#also the lack of clserena and veronica has me so concerned#eap after that whole Hey i hope we die at he same time :) line#i know forshadowing when i see it and i do not like that at all#my only other criticism is that main guy is just a standing man emoji#hes giving nothing!!!!!!!! his outfit is ugly!!!!!!! purple and green?????#annoys me to no end that he has a whole personality and a voice actor when hes a kid but as an adult hes just 🧍#like im not a Huge fan of silent personalityless protag in games where u can't make the protag ur own character#link doesn't count dont @ me about him#i dont think it usually works in games like this idk#its fine!!!!! i just think he should have been his own guy instead of just being There#id certainly care about him a lot more lmao#alsooo Hendrik and jasper ex bfs plot wowie#ok im done with this episode of me talkign about a game and no one cares but i have nowhere else to talk about games wheee#wait also protag and erik are in love ok bye
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Random fic idea
Tim drake but instead of loosing his spleen he lost part of his leg.
Tim thought it was obvious he was missing his right leg from the knee down. It was a whole leg that was missing after all. Sure he was wearing a prosthetic made by Ra's' best people.
One he painfully earned after that crazy fucker made him fight a bunch of his assassins one legged in order to "proof himself as the true heir of the bat he saw in him" or something. So sure, the leg might be more advanced than most, and it imitated natural steps a lot easier and even made it possible to easily run without switching to a different leg. Truly it was a perfect leg be vigilante with. But he never even bothered to give it human like appearances.
But apparently the Fam didn't notice. When he returned with Bruce everyone was too reliefed to give Tim a closer look and it just never came up afterwards.
Tim thought they just didn't want to ask about it in a weird attempt of being polite or even caring. Bruce surely did enough research on how it happened on his own. The man spend the whole travel back to Gotham with Tim after all. Tim truly believed the world's greatest detective would have noticed his missing leg.
Except he didn't. Not if he interpreted the way they looked so incredibly disturbed by is nonchalant way of handlinh the boiling hot chemicals that landed on his metal leg. He just brushed it off, the battle continued and since nothing seemed to be injured no one pressed him when he said "Must've missed me after all"
Now, how do you deal with a family that didn't notice you're missing a leg? That's right you fuck with them.
First thing he did was buy himself a few more realistic looking prosthetic leg. It had to be custom made to fit his stump so it took a whole but it was a worthwhile investment.
The first one was Jason. Call it a twisted revenge for trying to kill him but Tim just really wanted him to be messed with the most. So one day when he knew it was only Jason and him on patrol he strategically set himself down to fall. Crunching some spaghettis to ass in a sickening way only to stand up and walk away as if nothing ever happened.... With his foot toned the wrong way around. Insisting on nothing being wrong and Jason being delusional whenever the older boy tried to get him to get medical treatment. He switched it up the whole evening, whenever he was out of sight he turned the fool right and wrong. Driving the guy insane.
Jason did not sleep well that night. He was also top weirded out and unsure if what he saw was real to talk about it with anyone else.
Then, he challenged dick to a flexibility contest seeing how far they han bend their knees and feet. Even Mr bones are a social construct gymnast Richard Grayson looked horrified as Tim stood there, food bend almost in half, knee twisted to the impossible and what looked lihe a bend in the middle of his leg. Dick claimed cheating except the thing that greeted him when he demanded Tim to puch up his pant leg to expose his trick was a normal looking leg. The first Robin did lots of stretches in the following weeks. His pride was hurt after all.
Finding a way to mess with Damian was a bit more difficult. The brat still made a bunch of harsh comments again and again and he really wasn't close enough with Tim to be easily gaslit. The kid was a trained assassin and was probably used to a bunch of weird shit considering everything Ra's. So Tim decided he could go a bit more gory on Robin than the others. So one night he sat in front of Damians room, in the dark hallway and waited till one of his pets passed him. Once Alfred the Cat came along he made some louder coping noise that would Definetly make the kid look out to check on his animals. It worked just as planned, Damian peeked out his door to see Tim, crosslegged and barefoot on the floor, seemingly cutting off his toe to feed the cat. In reality it was nothing more than a cat treat and carefully picked, animal safe food coloring.
The kid scremed at him, threatened to stab him, punched him real good for harming his cat and took off with said cat to find Alfred so the older man could check on the poor kitten. Of course not beforeaking sure Tim was in an adequate amount of pain on the floor, with his 'injured' food secured to the floor with another knife. Only to return with a worried Alfred on tow to see Tim, standing two whole bare feet with a confused expression and a bag of cat treats in the hall.
Tim got a broken nose for it but it surely was worth it. Especially once he quietly whispered a 'no one will ever belief you' to the kid in passing. He might have traumatised the boy a little but Tim fought it justified for all the attempted murder he suffered.
#batman#batfam#tim drake#red robin#fic drabble#dick grayson#jason todd#damian wayne#crack fic#fanfiction#fic draft#brain fart
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Thank you for all of the stories recently! Can you do one where Lando gets tired of you calling him “Little Lando Norris” and decides to show you how big he really is?
L.L.N II Lando Norris ⒽⓌ
SUMMARY: Lando doesn't mind you making fun and playing games just as long as you're aware of the truth...and he'll be more than happy to remind you.
WARNINGS: **18+**
A/N: Got some good news so felt inspired to write again ;) Sorry for the delay.
"Aww poor little Lando." You jokingly patted him on the back. "Better luck next time buddy." you laughed as you walked away leaving him fuming.
Once again you'd beat Lando for 3rd place by merely a few seconds, an ongoing rivalry between you both that had everyone at the edge of their seats.
Ever since karting you and Lando had this heated rivalry, always making the other's life impossible and being each other's biggest competition so it was no surprise when it continued onto Formula 1.
To the outside world, it was incredibly entertaining for everyone to see the rivalry between the two of you. The rude remarks and snarky comments you threw at each other during interviews, the hate between you two only brewing stronger with each race.
But little did people know the way you were able to keep the hate at bay and keep yourselves in check. It had all started as a stupid drunk mistake when you found yourselves fucking in a club bathroom. The memory was hazy but you both remembered enough to know that deep down you liked it.
The next time it was a simple rash decision, you didn't think about it when you found yourself waking up in Lando Norris's room naked his arm across your waist, quickly throwing it off before running back to your room.
It was good. The sex was good, and that was the only reason you kept coming back. That's what you both told each other.
But it had become a frequent occurrence now, almost 5 months of quick and meaningless fucks where you could let out the pent-up tension and anger you had for each other.
But this still didn't take away from the fact that you still loved to piss each other off on track. Secretly you'd grown to love doing it more because you felt the direct consequence of it later.
"Lando, how do you feel about yet another close battle today with your biggest rival on track?" The interviewer asked him.
"Yeah, she just got lucky getting the better line around the next corners, but she knows I'm not one to back down, she knows what's coming for her," Lando smirked loving the double meaning behind his words.
He could see you a few feet from him giving your own interview. He just about heard you when once again you'd referred to him as Little Lando Norris, something you'd taken to recently which just irked him a little more than usual.
He watched you carefully, keeping his eyes on you like a hawke which to everyone else looked like pure hatred but truly it was simply because Lando could see the way Pierre got a little too friendly with you for his liking.
Lando would never admit it to you but he truly couldn't control the jealousy that erupted in his stomach whenever he saw you get too friendly with anyone. Whatever you had might have been meaningless but as far as he was concerned you were still his for now.
"Alright thanks, Lando enjoy your break." Lawrence finalized the interview with Lando outside the McLaren hospitality just as he could see you walking out of the press conference room with Pierre quickly by your side.
He didn't hesitate as he stood up with a quick step towards you. His blood boiling when he heard you laugh at something Pierre said.
"I need to talk to you." Lando stood in front of you making you stop abruptly and bump into his chest.
"Oh look hey speaking of the devil." You smirked.
"Little Lando Norris." Pierre joked but for some reason, Lando didn't find it the least bit amusing coming from him.
"Okay well can't talk now so bye." You were about to move past him but Lando grabbed your arm.
"Wasn't asking." Lando was ready to pull you away with him but was stopped by Pierre who grabbed your other hand.
"I actually just asked her for a drink so-" Pierre was quick to tell Lando.
"So she can't right now." Lando didn't let him finish or you protest before whisking you away.
You were completely taken aback as Lando shamelessly dragged you away from Pierre not caring the way there were several eyes on you as he took you towards the McLaren building.
Your heart pounded in your chest rendering you speechless as he walked you all the way into the building past several staff members before reaching his room where he was quick to shut you both inside.
"Lando what the-" you finally regained your voice as the door closed behind you.
"Shut up." Lando pressed his lip to yours as he pressed you to the wall. You had to push through the rush that invaded your body trying not to give in so easily.
"Lando, what has gotten into you?" You asked breathlessly as Lando began kissing down your neck unbuttoning your jeans and dragging them down
"So it's just Lando now?" was all he said.
"What are you- ah fuck." before you could reply again you cut yourself off when Lando began ruthlessly attacking your clit.
Lando basked in the pleasure he could produce on you loving the way you became putty in his hands behind closed doors despite the way you loved to tease him and take control outside.
Lando's pants suddenly felt painfully tight as he continued his attack on you taking the liberty he unbuckled his pants all while still tasting you before pulling his dick out into his hands to give it a few pumps.
Lando didn't stop, not until you had your first orgasm before finally getting up. "Why don't you return the favor baby?" Lando asked despite knowing he didn't have to since you were on your knees before he could even finish asking.
You prepared yourself knowing the ache you would feel from sucking him off having to open wide to take him into your mouth. Lando's eyes showed the smugness in them at watching the way you always struggled initially to take him never able to take him all down until you'd sucked him off for a while.
Lando groaned as you began moving your head up and down, your hands taking care of what you couldn't fit in your mouth for now.
"Nothing so little about that is there?" Lando asked the pride clear in his voice.
Only now did you understand what this was all about but you didn't care to complain since he'd gotten you all worked up.
"Why don't you make it extremely clear for me." You decided to try to have your own way.
"Gadly baby." Lando pulled you up before picking you up and using the wall to support you in his arms before using one of his hands to line himself up against your whole.
"Please-" You pleaded, Lando loved the way you begged every time he got near you like these.
"you ready?" he asked despite feeling your wetness already drip onto him.
"Yes, please fuck me." You sighed as you grabbed Lando's face to kiss him.
Lando used this distraction to push himself all the way inside you swallowing your yelp. "Shit baby you're so wet," Lando whispered knowing he had to keep semi-quiet because of the remaining staff in the building right now. Although half of him hoped everyone could hear what you were doing and the way he was making you feel right now...make it crystal clear to everyone.
"Ah, fuck Lando go faster." You begged him as Lando pushed in and out of you fully and completely at a brutally slow pace.
"Who's making you feel like this baby?" Lando asked not answering to your pleas just yet.
"You Lan...You are." You could almost cry at the torturous pace he'd set.
"not even fucking Pierre can make you feel like this can he?" His words were laced with disgust and anger which made your stomach flutter.
"No...no just you." You replied kissing Lando once again.
This was enough for Lando as he picked up his pace feeling the way you clenched around him and the way you struggled to keep quiet.
"Fu...so good...shit" You moaned in a whisper as Lando kept thrusting faster and faster into you against the wall.
Lando could cum at the sight of you, watching the way your tits would bounce with each thrust, the way your eyes rolled back, and hearing your uneven breaths as you tried to keep quiet while your orgasm quickly approached, feeling the way you held onto him as if your own skin was begging for more. This was it. This was glory to Lando.
#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1#f1smut#smut#f1 one shot#f1 smut#f1fic#formula 1#changetyre#lando norris#lando norris smut#lando norris x reader#ln4
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4k celebration
congrats on 4k love - your writing is absolutely worth all of the hype and even more!!! i adore your work and so look forward to even more people discovering it.
i was hoping to request a lewis fic?? i’m such a slut for a good enemies to lovers situation, so maybe along the lines of reader is a fair bit younger than lewis, but there’s been all of this tension btwn them and it all boils over one night (smuttyyyyy) 🥴
we made up.
LH x fem!rival reader - 4k celebration
in which you can never just bite your tongue
eeeeek i love this request! thank u sm anon for ur sweet words, ur so lovely i hope i’ve done this justice for you! writing for lewis terrified me so this might not be my best work but we move! more lewis requests to come, let me know what you think <3
songs to set the mood: stargirl interlude by the weekend & lana del rey
warnings: 18+!! minors go away!! smut, swearing, degradation, praise, dom!lewis, some switch!reader, implied age gap, slightly inexperienced reader, enemies to lovers, blink n you’ll miss it size kink
2.6k words
you hide admiration with a scowl, curling into yourself, as far away as you can get from him. the couch seems to get smaller and smaller with every overly intelligent, carefully thought out word he says. each sentence seems to be coated in a thick layer of i don’t give a fuck. you don’t know how he’s so good a toeing the line.
after six years in f1, you still couldn’t work out why you didn’t like lewis hamilton.
maybe it was his cool confidence, the way he never lacked composure, while you were called an unhinged, delusional woman by every incel on twitter for so much as breathing. maybe it was his sky high stack of trophies, championships, podiums, wins. you weren’t even halfway close to touching his records. maybe it was the way he was diabolically, inhumanly gorgeous, a truly breathtaking creature. you paled in every single way compared to lewis, so how could you even begin to like him?
it was silly, really, pathetic even, feeling such childish disdain just because he was better than you. he was older, more refined, iconic in every single way that you weren’t. perhaps you’d get there one day, but you simply weren’t there yet.
you’re sat beside him in the press conference, sharing the couch with him, alex, lando, charles and max. it wasn’t the worst combination in the world, but anytime you had to sit in front of a gaggle of hawk-eyed journos and a million cameras with lewis, something unfortunate usually happened. never by design, but you just weren’t very good at saving face in front of the mercedes driver.
“do you think the podium is a possibility this weekend?” someone from autosport whose name you can’t remember asks.
“i’m hoping so, just need to keep the mercs behind us again, but i don’t think that will be that hard.” you respond, without even a sliver of a filter. the material of the sofa shifts as lewis tenses up beside you, inhaling sharply at your blatant disrespect. somewhere beside you, lando sniggers, and max is rolling his eyes.
it was no secret that you didn’t have the softest spot in the world for sir lewis.
“that’s assuming your car makes it to the end of the race.” lewis clears his throat, speaking with confident conviction. you turn you head to glare at him, painfully unable to take what you give. alex slaps his hand over his mouth.
“at least my car isn’t so bad that i’d rather go and learn the alphabet down at ferrari.” you scoff. you avoid the eyes of your comms officer, because if looks could kill, you’d be six feet under already.
“i think we’ll leave it there.” tom clarkson suggests, and you stand from the panel and storm away on trembling legs with a terrible ache throbbing between them.
there’s something about the pettiness, the reasonless back and fourth you two always seem to partake in that leaves you in need of a cold shower.
-
turns out, you have to apologise.
you spend the better part of an hour being bollocked by your press team, who, for some reason, don’t find it particularly amusing that you’d somehow managed to insult the lewis hamilton, ferrari, and mercedes in the span of two sentences.
so, there you were, begrudgingly trailing towards lewis’s hotel room. it’s on the top floor, because of course it is, it’s him. he oozes expensive exclusively, naturally above the rest. you twist your rings nervously, increasingly terrified of being in a confined space alone with the gorgeous brit. your knuckles rap gently against the wood of his door, intentionally weakly. you pray he won’t hear you and that you can just disappear back into the elevator and into your room, to pathetically let you hands wander between your clenched thighs.
but god laughs, and the door swings open. lewis seems startled by your presence, just for a moment though, leaning cooly against the doorframe. his lips pull into a faint smile. two things alarm you. first of all, he’s shirtless, bare from the waist up, a plethora of delicious tattoos on display for you to feast your eyes on. secondly, and somehow even worse, he’s panting, clearly just back from a work out in the gym. he glistens with sweat, and your mind goes blank, apologetic words die on your tongue.
“something to say, angel, or are you just here to stare?” lewis teases, the words rolling off his tongue smoothly. you pray for the ground to gape open, swallow you hole, suck you into hot lava.
“well, i was gonna apologise but i don’t think you deserve it.” you sneer, crossing your arms over your chest accusingly.
“didn’t think you knew how to apologise.” lewis grins sarcastically, mocking you.
“has anyone told you how arrogant you are?” you bite back, eyes narrowing.
“why don’t you come in here and i’ll show you just how arrogant i can be?” his voice has dropped a few octaves, seductive and low.
the proposition, the suggestion behind his words makes you fold immediately. you’d wondered for far too long about what he was like behind closed doors and under thick bedsheets, and if you had the chance at finding out, you’d be imbecilic not to take it.
you shove his muscled chest, pushing him back into his room. his hands find your waist, pulling harshly at the material of your loose t-shirt. he’s watching you intently, mesmerised by the angry flush on your cheeks tinging you pink. your eyes convey hunger, matching his, and you’re forcing him down to sit at the foot of his bed.
“why are you such an asshole?” you hiss, slotting your knees on either side of his so that you’re straddling him.
“probably the same reason you’re such a little bitch.” lewis growls, tugging you forward harshly on his lap. you feel his work out shorts ride up on his thighs, the material sensitive on your skin.
your pupils blow wide at his words, and you’re kissing him hard, teeth and tongues clashing messily. his lips are so soft, pillowy as they brush aggressively with your own and you lick wetly into his awaiting mouth. he’s addictive, minty, and you fall against his bare chest as he leans back into the mattress.
“i think you need to be taught some manners.” lewis grunts, flipping your bodies over like you’re nothing, and slotting against your body like a missing piece.
“i think the same could be said about you.” you breathe, sliding your hand under the waistband of his shorts. he chuckles quietly, the rumble reverberating through your own chest, cracking you open.
“try your best.” he whispers. your eyes roll back.
truth is, you’re not the most experienced person in the world. yes, you’re in your mid twenties, but a long term relationship with the worlds biggest loser and dedicating your life to a career in a boys club meant that you didn’t have the time to develop broadest set of skills. you didn’t have the luxury of letting loose in a nightclub with a stranger because if that information got into the wrong hands, you’d be slut-shamed off the face of the earth. so now, you found yourself a little bit lost under a literal sex god.
as if he can hear your thoughts, lewis pulls back.
“what’s the matter? do you want me to stop?” he’s softer than he ever has been with you, melting away in your hands, but you draw him back in, tightening your grip on the band of his shorts.
“no, no, i just…” the words die on your tongue. something in your eyes gives him all the information that he needs.
“do what feels right, good.” his nose brushes your jaw, kissing over it and you settle back into the moment.
“teach me a lesson.” you whisper, empowered in his hands, and he springs back into action, his demeanour slipping right back into what it had been.
“is that why you’re so bad in interviews? just want me to fuck some respect into you?” his lips tug amusedly when you nod rapidly up at him.
an experimental roll of his hips makes you keen, hand slipping into his braids and pulling hard. his eyes fall shut, lips parting to let out a soft groan, his eyebrows pinching from the rough pleasure. your fingers graze over the skin of his toned belly, finding sensitive skin that makes him shiver.
“you distracted, lew?” you taunt, with the only intention of riling him up.
his eyes snap open, hard and lacking any sort of warmth, and he tears your hands from where they rest on his firm body, swiftly pinning them above your head with one hand. he plants himself on one knee, balancing himself so that he can fiddle with the button of your shorts. he makes quick work of removing them, forcing the zipper down and skilfully manoeuvring them with just the one hand.
once they’re gone, along with the lace of your underwear, he forces your thighs apart, and slides his fingers along the seam of your cunt, slicking them up. you’re soaked and he momentarily falters, but he doesn’t let himself get too visibly affected.
“fuck, you’re so wet. been thinking about me, angel?” he teases mercilessly, as he rocks the first thick digit into you, twisting and curling until he finds the spot that makes you buck your hips.
“nothing to say now, hm?” lewis tuts, wetting his lips. the feeling of you squeezing so tight around just one of his fingers makes him choke out a moan. you can feel his hot breath fanning over your face, your eyes squeezing shut at the feeling of him filling you up.
“more.” you breathe, stuttering over just one word. he revels in how he’s managed to reduce you to this so quickly.
“you sure you can take it, angel? so fucking tight.”
“make me.” you plead, parting your strained thighs even wider for him.
he lets go of your hands, snaking down your body to get himself closer to where you’re dripping already.
“keep them there.” lewis orders, and you grip tightly onto the pillows to exercise restraint.
lewis presses his forearm over the plush of your belly, holding you down as he adds a second finger, watching in awe as it slips so effortlessly into your pussy. you’re mewling, fighting to buck your hips but the firm press of his muscled arm keeps you in place.
“so pretty for me, angel, soaking my fingers.” he notes, entranced at how responsive you are for him.
“want you inside of me, lew.” you whine, knuckles paper white where you’re fighting off the urge to reach down and touch him.
“wait.” he snarls, ramming his fingers even harder, grinding against the soft spot buried deep. “you’re gonna cum like this first.”
with that, he removes the barricade of his arm, bringing his spare hand to your clit, the pad of his thumb drawing calloused circles into the bud. you lose it, grinding down on his fingers like a woman possessed.
“that’s it, sweetie, fuck yourself for me.” lewis encourages, voice gravelly and low.
sparks shoot down your spine, nothing but white behind your eyelids as he lights you on fire. you can’t warn him, the words lost to the tense air of the room as you barrel towards your first release. he eases you through it, not letting up even a little bit, but it pays off when you can’t help but writhe against the cream of the bedspread.
“god.” you croak, flopping limp as he pulls out, crawling over you.
“learned your lesson?”
“not quite.” you flash an exhausted grin, abandoning your grasp on the pillows to slide them down his thick frame.
you trace the lion adorning his shoulder, the compass, each piece driving you further into utter delirium. your hands graze his waist, snaking around his abdomen until you reach the cross, tracing it until you reach words that keep him going.
still i rise the cursive reads, and he shivers as you rake your nails over it.
“fuck me.” you purr. your hands slide under his shorts once more, gripping at the curve of his ass. you push the material down over his thighs, and he happily kicks them away, his inked hands roughly spreading you even wider.
“desperate little thing, bet you go home after every race and fuck yourself silly wishing it was me, hm?” he adjusts himself between your legs, his thick cock nudging against you entrance, drenching himself in the mess he’d made.
you gasp out a moan as he slides deep, taking his sweet time. you can’t even comprehend his words, totally consumed by the brutally enticing stretch of him, your thighs shaking at the delectable intrusion. he hisses at the sensation of your tight warmth, his head falling to rest in the crook of your neck. lewis licks over the sensitive skin, trailing open mouthed kisses down to your collarbone. you feel the sharp graze of his teeth, gentle nips making you shudder on his cock.
“don’t leave a mark.” you choke, and lewis seems to get it, so he skims his teeth lower, sucking purple just over your heart.
you clamp down around him, allured by the tweak of pain, and it seems to spark something in him, his hips rolling into yours experimentally.
“you feel so fucking good.” lewis pants, his breath warm and wet on your neck.
“need you to move.” you plead, turning your head to capture his lips in an urgent kiss.
he pulls out, slamming back into you roughly, your tummy twisting with anticipation. lewis finds a rhythm that suits you both, hips hitting yours with every thrust, each one leaving you full and spent.
“gonna make sure you feel me for days.” he promises, yanking your legs over his hips. as he does, he hits deeper and you yelp, stars in your eyes. “when you sit in the car tomorrow, you’re gonna feel me and remember how to be a good fucking girl, not an attention seeking brat.”
you ramble his name, eyes flooding with tears of overstimulation, dumbfounded at how he seems to hit a new spot with every slide of his cock. he’s digging his fingers into the meat of your thighs, pulling your hips impossibly closer to his as he drives into you, as if he wants to become a part of you, moulded for an eternity. with the way your stomach knots, butterflies and adrenaline coursing through you, you’d comply; you’d let him do whatever he wanted to him anytime he wanted.
“‘m so close.” you whine, pulling on every part of him your hands can reach. a refreshed sense of determination builds in his eyes and he presses hard on your navel.
“so deep, can see it.” lewis slurs, eyes fixed on your belly.
those five words make you unravel, sending you hurtling over the edge. he can’t help but fuck you through it, hammering home while you spasm around him so tight that he struggles to move.
“fucking addicted to this pussy.” lewis groans, burying himself as deep as he can go.
you’re utterly enchanted as you watch him reach his release, gnawing at your bottom lip when his part in a moan, allowing gentle puffs of air to escape. his long eyelashes rest delicately over his cheeks as his eyes fall shut, your name spilling out of his mouth like a needy prayer.
you’re warm from the inside out, flushed and full when he settles, pressing his body weight into you completely.
-
two weeks later, you’re in japan, bored senseless in yet another press conference. lewis sits further down the couch, and you have to cross your legs every time he speaks. no one seems to notice, except him, of course.
when it’s your turn to speak, and you’re asked all about your little spat with sir lewis back in australia, you shrug, smirking.
“we made up.”
-
oof
-
taglist
@mcmuppet @japanesekel @vinvantae @ggaslyp1 @dr3lover @smiithys @rachstash @infinitebells @fizzpopsnap101 @gaily19 @icecoldtires @mysticalnightenthusiast @thatchickwiththecamera @oyesmendes @disneydaydreameralways @canyouseethesainz @ferrarifwendvale @fcbformulaeri @tony-stank3 @maih23 @soleilgrec @carolineworld @anthonykatebridgerton @allywthsr @iamasimpingh0e @ophcelia @lovelynikol16 @coffeehurricanes @jennx03 @blueflorals @lqvesoph @sidcrosbyspuck @better-dead-than-smeg @buendiabebeta @pjofics @kovalcin @wintergilmore3 @for-writing-shit @youdontknowmeshh @im-an-overthinker @jule239 @darleneslane @jazzy722 @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @therealone4r @pleasecallmeunhinged @theonlyadrienne @spideylovin @formulaal @carlandoxlestappen
if you wanna be added or removed lemme know! :D
#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton smut#lewis hamilton fic#lewis hamilton fics#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton x you#f1 fic#f1 smut#f1 fics#f1 driver x you#f1 oneshot#f1 imagine#lewis hamilton oneshot#lewis hamilton imagine#formula 1 smut#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fics#jas’s 4k celebration#writing things#request#smut#enemies to lovers
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Types of AO3 Summary
Option 1 - The Excerpt:
The quickest, the easiest! Find a section of your fic that contains the main premise of said fic and also showcases your writing. Copy paste that into the summary box. BOOM! Done.
Best used for any fic, unless it's so short the excerpt would be the whole fic.
Option 2 - The No Frills:
Just a description of the fic. No need for drama. No need to complicate matters. Keep it simple, keep it safe.
Example:
"A short character exploration of Blorbo's thoughts after Daisy leaves."
Best used for short fics, poems and fics where the style/format is more important than the plot. Or fics that tie directly into a scene/episode from canon or another fanfic.
Option 3 - The Hook:
Draw the reader's interest by giving them a set up with no conclusion. Introduce the main character(s), introduce the status quo, describe an inciting incident, leave a question in the reader's mind.
Example:
"Blorbo is a barista at a coffee shop, struggling to pay their bills, but after handsome rockstar Obrolb walks into their coffee shop they find that they have to decide whether a chance at love is worth the cost of fame."
Best used for mid to long fic where there's a strong premise and follow through. Especially good for AUs. Can be expanded for more complex plots or used multiple times in one summary for multiple characters or subplots.
Option 4 - The Sitcom One-Liner:
"The one in which [over simplified description of one of the main plotlines]" This is essentially 'boil your plot down to the very simplest statement you can, oversimplify if possible. The more bizarre or unhelpful the better.
Example:
"The one in which Blorbo learns to like cake".
Best used for fics with at least a little humour in them.
Option 5 - The Rule of Three:
Three is a magic number. Find three key moments in your fic and just list them. That's it. Often ends with 'not necessarily in that order' if used for comic effect. If it's an AU, establish that quickly (i.e. 'Star NHL player Blorbo…').
Example:
"Blorbo makes a friend, falls in love, and almost burns to death, not necessarily in that order."
Best used for anything, really. Three is a magic number. The human brain loves things that come in threes.
Option 6 - The Trope Lure:
Why bother describing the plot? We all know AO3 readers are here for the tropes. Similar to The Sitcom One-Liner just using tropes instead of plot. Often followed by the phrase 'that nobody asked for'.
Example:
"The Space western / A/B/O / Mail Order Bride fic that nobody asked for."
Often tacked on to the end of The Hook or The Excerpt as a tl;dr.
Best used for fic that plays its tropes straight with no shame or second guessing.
Option 7 - The Pre-emptive Strike:
(Not recommended) You just wrote this fic, the self doubt is consuming you. You feel the need to apologise profusely for your existence for no apparently reason. You feel cringe, you think the fic is cringe, you want everyone to know that you think the fic is cringe in case they don't like it and judge you for it.
Example:
"So I fell in love with this pairing and had to write this. It's weird and terrible. Lol! I suck at summaries! Sorry!"
Best used for no fics ever. I cannot stress this enough.
(Seriously, I am begging you, don't do this. If you're planning to use this option, rethink it and do one of the others. I guarantee you more people will want to read your fic.)
Sometimes added on to any other summary as a strange disclaimer. (srsly. don't.)
Option 8 - The Unapology:
Embrace the mayhem, embrace the deep dark depths of your soul. The opposite of The Pre-emptive Strike. A combination of The No Frills and The Trope Lure that truly gives no fucks.
You have committed crimes and you are proud of them. You know what your USP is and you're going to make sure your target market finds you. Look upon my works, ye readers, and despair!
Example:
"There aren't enough tentacle fics in this pairing, so I had to write one myself!"
Best used for fics with controversial/polarising tropes with all relevant details already clearly stated in the tags.
Option 9 - The Interrogation:
What if you wrote a summary entirely in questions? What if your readers had to read the fic to discover the answers? Who knows what will happen if you do this?
Example:
"What happens when Blorbo McBlorbo gets his wish and Daisy doesn't make it to the plane on time? What happens when Obrolb finds out? How will this change Daisy and Blorbo's friendship?"
Best used for... I honestly don't know. This style of summary does not vibe with me. Mystery fic maybe? Sorry guys.
Option 10 - The Multipack:
Got a bunch of shorter fics in one work? No way of summarising them all without a wall of text larger than the Great Wall of China? This one is similar to The No Frills in that you're not describing the plots themselves and similar to The Trope Lure in that often broader genres and tropes are mentioned. What links those fics? Are they all in the same fandom? The same pairing? The same challenge? Just slap that right in the summary. A chapter list with 1-2 word trope/pairing summaries can be included or not.
Example:
"A collection of Blorbo/Daisy/Obrolb fics based on Tumblr prompts.
Chapter 1: Regency AU
Chapter 2: Werewolves vs vampires
Chapter 3: Ghost!Daisy
Chapter 4: Space pirates!"
Best used for (obviously) works that are compilations of fic.
Option ? - The Void:
I said The Excerpt was the quickest and easiest summary to do. I lied, well... I didn't exactly lie. What is quicker and easier than not having a summary at all? After all, that's what the tags are for.
Example:
Best used for... nothing? Write a summary, guys. Please?
#AO3#fandom#on writing#clearing out my drafts#long post#Qd#This list is intended for entertainment purposes only#I just came across a lot of fic summaries that followed similar rules#so I decided to post this about it#I'm sure other options are available#If you've ever used number 7 that's not bad of you#But my advice would be to not do that
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okay hear me out!!! Abby telling mike all the things her and y/n did that day, very cliché things but still so cute!! (loosely based off of best day by taylor swift... but...)
it’s like you knew my weak spot was Taylor Swift
“It was the best day ever.” Abby muffles, mouthful of salad.
Mike stands in the kitchen, back to her. He looks silly in a pretty pink apron Abby had picked out at the store, but he doesn’t mind. He wears it to let her giggle at the bow tied behind him. Steam smokes from the pots and pans around him.
“Oh, yeah?” He asks, stress keeping a low profile. He turns the burner nobs to lower settings.
“Yeah,” She emphasizes. “Really, we went to the mall, did you know there was a store just for dolls?”
“Yuh uh.” The pasta water is boiling over, shit. “What’s it- what’s it called? The girl doll store?”
“American Girl Doll.”
“That’s the one.”
Abby shrugs, flicking her bangs before stabbing wildly into her bowl. “It was so amazing, they have a cafe in there.”
Mike’s heart spikes at the thought of you spending money on his sister. It’s thoughtful, truly, but that’s his job now. He took on this roll. “You uh,” he mixes the pasta sauce. “you eat in there?”
“Yes.” She gushes, finishing the remnants of the salad Mike had made her. “But that was hours ago, and I’m hungry again.”
“That’s okay. That’s totally fine. Pastas almost done.”
“Good.” She juts her hand out to Mike, letting him lean over to toss her bowl in the sink with a clatter. “I got lemonade and a cheeseburger.”
“Wow.” Mike smiles, finally at ease with the chaos of cooking. He wipes his hands off messily, resting his them on the counter as he watches Abby with a light grin. “You’ve never eaten those for me.”
“Yeah,” She shrugs flippantly. “it was my first time.”
“I know, you like it?”
“It was soooo good, is the pasta done?”
Mike turns over his shoulder, “Shit, yeah.” He rushes to flip off the timer that now counts down from ten.
“Jar.”
“I’m not putting money in a jar.” He scoffs. “This is my own home.”
He spoons the pasta into a clean bowl, ditching the spoon for a fork when he realizes it’s a hopeless cause. He forks more than he thinks she’ll eat, but that’s okay, because at least she’s eating. She doesn’t have to finish it.
“We didn’t buy a doll.” She pulls the warm bowl in front of her, mixing the pasta sauce into her noodles. “They were creepy, I didn’t like them.”
“I don’t like them either.”
“But she got me a cupcake and ohhhhh my godddd, Mike.” She squeals. “It looked just like Chica’s, I didn’t want to eat it!”
“Did you?”
“Yeah, it was good.”
Halfway through the bowl she taps out. To be expected. Mike isn’t mad. Instead he grabs her plate, scraping the leftovers into dingy tupperware. It’s quiet besides the rumble of AC and Abby. She taps the counter to the tune of a television show she’d been watching earlier.
“Go uh,” He trails off, distracted with the dish.
“Shower?” She helps.
“That.”
“Ok.” She hops off the counter bench, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand messily. “Mike?”
“Yes?” He eyes her over his shoulder.
“I like her. Can we hang out again?”
He laughs turning back around. “Maybe. Go shower.”
#mike schmidt x you#mike schmidt x reader#mike schmidt#mike schmidt x y/n#mike schmidt fluff#fnaf fanfic
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MOVED TO @seratopia
miguel o’hara x reader (fluff) - surprise visit
modern au!
an unfamiliar secretary won’t let you into the building to visit your husband, Miguel, at his office
Visiting your husband at work may as well be the best way for you to spend your day off. He’s been working hard, his passion truly bursting at the seams when he talks to you about the latest improvement project he’s been working on for the past three weeks.
You’re walking down the sidewalk in an outfit you knew would make Miguel go crazy, holding a nice bouquet of flowers in your arm. You decided men don’t get flowers enough, so you’re here to fill in that gap. He really deserves more than flowers anyway.
With the badge embedded into your watch, you scan your wrist against the access monitor on the wall. The doors automatically open, and you feel a nice gust of air conditioning run into you.
The office is very modern, clean, and sleek. All around you are advanced units of technology; a result of your husband’s successes. It smells the same it always has; clean, crisp, and slightly minty. As you walk through the doors, you’re greeted with the exact same things you always are; same lounge chairs, same grand elevator...
Though, you don’t recognize the secretary at the desk.
She’s blonde, red lipstick smeared onto her tight lips in an unwelcoming frown. A matching pearl set adorned over her crisp, dark blue blazer.
Usually, you’d say hi to the secretary you knew, Lyla. You assume she got fired, which was a real shame, you love her sass. She was always so kind to you, saying hi with a smile, or offering to help guide you through the office and such.
But instead, you walk right past the desk, digging through your memories to find how you managed to find Miguel’s main office last time.
“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?“
Her voice is just as snarky as you had imagined.
“Visiting Miguel?“ You pause, your patience already growing extremely thin for the new secretary. You’d probably chat about this to Miguel later, maybe bat an eyelash or two to convince him about hiring someone different.
“Nuh uh! Miguel O’Hara is busy right now, not open for any visitors at the moment.“ She replies, fixating her eyes on the large monitor in front of her.
You pause for a moment, critically thinking things through for a moment.
“Oh! I get it. M’am, you haven’t met me before, have you?“ You ask, trying your best to not crinkle the flowers in your hands. She raises a single eyebrow, glaring as if you insulted her mother. (Which, you might as well should do.)
“I’m Miguel’s spouse. He lets me visit him whenever, I even have my badge right here-“
She holds up a single manicured finger.
“Nice try, but my charts right here say that Miguel is busy at the moment. Try another time, maybe send him a fan letter or something.“
Your blood starts to boil as the new secretary has a satisfied smirk on her face.
Instead of choosing violence and risking your hair getting ruined, you opt for the better option. Glaring at the desk manager directly in the eye, you pull out your cellphone from your pocket, manually pressing the contact button for Miguel. You wait for the phone to dial, pressing the cellular to your ear whilst examining your own nails.
And finally, he answers.
“Hm? You need something, honey?“
“Miguel.“
Miguel on the other line, freezes to a halt. Now, he knows he’s in trouble. Carefully, he clears his throat.
“What is it, sweetie?“
You take a deep breath. “Your... secretary isn’t letting me into the office. Will you fix that, please?”
Miguel pinches between his eyebrows, groaning.
“Of course, hun. I’ll be down in a sec.“
“Thank you, Miguel.“
The call ends, but the secretary still stares at you like you’ve thrown up all over her salad. She almost looks like she’s going to laugh, which makes you even madder.
Within literally a few seconds, the elevator whirs to a halt, the top light switching on with a chime. As expected, your husband walks through the sliding doors, clad in a crisp white dress shirt and office pants. He’s so undeniably gorgeous, you almost consider forgiving the secretary.
But, you don’t.
“Ah, Miguel, this p-“
“Shut your mouth for moment, would you?“
The woman is taken aback, red bursting onto her cheeks as her fake smile melts into a frown. Her mouth is left agape, watching as Miguel saunters over to you with a smile.
“What happened?“ Miguel asks, his Office Face™ dissolving into a genuine smile. He slots his hands to your waist, silently peering at the flowers in your arms.
“Well, I was going to come surprise you... but then she said that you were busy.” You reply, pouting.
“Aww, baby, it’s okay.“ He smooches the top of your head. “The flowers are pretty. I’ll handle this.“
Miguel then swerves around, this time with his Office Face™ on. He keeps his hand glued to your side, each step of his getting louder and louder as he makes his way towards the desk.
“Tiffany.“
Tiffany, in question, shudders, keeping her eyes glued to the floor while a shit-eating smirk finds its’ way onto your face. No remorse whatsoever.
“From now, until tonight, please let my partner into the building whenever they like.“
“Yes, sir. Why until tonight?“
“Because I’m firing you from any future stand-in’s, or any sort of work in here for the matter.“
Miguel: 1
Tiffany: 0
Tiffany looks like she has so much she wants to say, so much that she could scream at this very moment... but instead, she stays silent. You can see a vein practically ready to burst at her temple, her jaw grinding her teeth in her mouth.
“I will dismiss you at the end of the day, Tiffany. I expect you to cause no more trouble until then.“
Tiffany is left utterly speechless, her jaw left slightly agape. Miguel ushers you by your back towards the elevator, poking and prodding his finger at the flowers in your grasp.
Automatically, the elevator doors smoothly slide open, and you both step inside. You stare at the glass view outside, watching as the two of you get higher and higher above the city.
“I even had my badge, and she didn’t let me.“ You frown, indulgently leaning into Miguel’s chest.
“I’m sorry, hun. Lyla’s out sick for a bit, so she was the only substitute I could find for today.“
Apologetically, he rubs your back, secretly praying that you’d forget about the whole ordeal so you’d pay attention to him instead.
“S’okay. Thank god Lyla wasn’t fired.“ You mumble, breathing a sigh of relief.
“She’s annoying, but she does her job well.“ Miguel remarks, and you gasp, personally offended on behalf of your beloved Lyla.
“No she’s not! She’s super nice, actually.“
“Whatever.” Miguel scoffs. “Kiss me.”
“No. You called Lyla annoying.”
these oneshots have really skyrocketed my account! thank you guys so much for the positive feedback, i love loveee reading all the comments i get! please stay tuned for more!
- cosmosis <333
© 𝒄𝒐𝒔𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒔.
#miguel o'hara#atsv miguel#miguel o'hara spider man#spider man#spiderman#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara x you#miguel o'hara x y/n#lyla#atsv lyla#lyla across the spiderverse#miguel o'hara across the spiderverse#across the spiderverse#atsv#x reader#reader insert#fluff#romance#cosmosis-writes ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎
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