#and im gonna explain my choices here because some of them might not make sense lmao
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does getting a physical form affect the narrator's ability to remember things?? (think you may have talked about this before but. couldn't find it & now am not sure if it was you or someone else ^^;;)
relatedly,, how might it affect the degree to which he can/can't fight against his own code,, and/or what that Feels like for him to do??
I actually am not sure if I have talked about this! I know he had to deal with the Skip button in different ways and I talked about that, but. (maybe also that fic idea I had? but am not gonna write?) hmmm.
okay so I think the issue here is by the time he does make himself a form, they have done everything so so SO many times and have also TALKED about all the endings outside of the context of said endings that he does have the gist of everything by that point. He's not QUITE to the point of Stanley who remembers previous runs freshly, but he's honestly not far off. (their relationship really is Stanley dragging him kicking and screaming into growing and changing, while he forces Stanley to slow down and be introspective with his actions and choices.)
I imagine if he DID keep having memory problems (and Stanley wasn't able to help by reminding him, for whatever reason), he might have trauma habits he doesn't even realize the source of. Kind of like.... maybe OCD? Im not knowledgeable of OCD but I know that and PTSD and CPTSD can have this sense of picking up a coping habit because if you don't do x, something bad will happen. just the constant vibe of "something bad is going to happen!"
I dont feel like Im explaining this well so let me try again using my own experiences as an example. once my roommate and I were doing stretches that were a little vague on how to be done, and I was doing them in a way different from my roommate, and I realized belatedly that I was doing it because I occasionally have severe hip pain, so I was practicing the stretch in a way that wouldn't upset my hip.
but I hadnt had a flare up in multiple months and had never done the stretch during the periods I had the flareup! my body just was instinctively trying to reduce the flare i didnt have.
I also have some pretty bad childhood trauma, and I keep realizing just how many memories I ended up repressing for my own health without my awareness. And those were my formative years, so Im pretty positive Im still unlearning some bad habits I developed as coping techniques for the experiences that I straight up! dont remember!
so... think about it like that, for the narrator. he might do something a certain way and then catch himself and realize "why did I do it like that, anyway?" (which then of course goes back to "why dont I remember? why dont I have control?")
but this is all incredibly hypothetical primarily because he has Stanley as a sounding board for his memories. by the time he has a body, Stanley is so familiar with him that the protagonist is really good about prompting him to try to recall things he might otherwise not.
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explaining why i chose to make an animation for lloyd and harumi based on choice by jack stauber because it's my blog and i do whatever the fuck i want
first of all go read the lyrics if you haven't already, the song is 40 seconds it won't take you that long to read the lyrics
also go watch the storyboard/sketch i did for the animation im doing. this is half self promo and half for context lol
basically, i thought the song worked for these two. i was like "if i do this right, i can make the lyrics show the contrast between how lloyd and harumi are as characters and i think that's a really cool thing" so thats what i did. of course, i wouldn't be making this post if i didn't want to go more in depth so i'm gonna explain some frames from the sketch/storyboard.
(also, just as a note, the specifics of what parts of the show the frames are based on will be more clear when the animation is done, but i will be specifying them here)
first 4 frames:
these four are meant to drive home the contrast between lloyd and harumi; that being when it comes to harumi, lloyd, even up to crystalized, has feelings for her (the art for love is based on when he first saw harumi in season 8, the art for heart is based on when harumi betrayed him in the same season) and when it comes to lloyd, especially in season 8 after she's revealed to be the quiet one, harumi is very vengeance driven (the art for brain is loosely based on the whole thing in the oni temple in season 8, and the art for control is just something i came up with lol. the art for control is meant to give a sense of harumi not being entirely in her right mind and being driven more by vengeance than anything else, and not someone you'd be smart to trust either).
for the caffeinate and melatonin frames, i also tried to show contrast between lloyd and harumi. throughout the series, wu is shown to use tea to sort of relax in a similar way some might use coffee to. additionally, certain varieties of tea in ninjago have relaxing properties, so i sort of view it as "tea has a significant role in the life not just of lloyd, but also in the lives of everyone who visits the monastery" for a multitude of reasons. on the other hand, harumi resorts to murder to resolve her problems (murdering her parents and hutchins, attempting to murder lloyd, etc). hence, melatonin with blood splatters. melatonin is a sleep hormone and also has an effect on mood, so i thought "melatonin with blood splatters for harumi" lol
for this one i wanted to show a combination of harumi's manipulative tendancies and her genuine affection for lloyd as of crystalized (as it's implied that she has some genuine feelings for him; when ordered to kill lloyd, she tries to sway him to the overlord's side instead, something the overlord responds with "i see now that you still have feelings for him" to. she protects him and garmadon instead of fighting with the guy she sold her soul to. basically crystalized implies her feelings for lloyd were genuine but she was using them for manipulative purposes which is what this frame's art is meant to show). i thought "you get me going" worked for harumi's attitude towards lloyd prior to dragon form; that is, her goal from the minute her biological parents die to the minute the overlord reveals everything was by his design was to get revenge on lloyd and the other ninja.
tl;dr, this frame is meant to show the complexities of harumi as a character. did i succeed? we will not know until i finish the animation probably.
these two frames are just meant to be indicative of harumi's betrayal and the wake up call it was for lloyd so to speak. that's literally it, i thought it worked lol.
again, meant to be indicative of harumi's betrayal. the art for this one is based on when lloyd and harumi were feeding the poor in season 8, as i feel like that's when lloyd really got to meet harumi and get to know her. obviously at that point she wasn't showing her true colors, which is what the second frame is meant to be showing.
harumi's betrayal we're moving on lol
these two frames are based on the scene in crystalized where lloyd is trying to talk harumi out of hurting innocent people and essentially telling her she doesn't have to be how she is and they get into a back and forth about it. i feel like this part of the song ("i am injury" "no you aren't, you make the choice to be") is what had me in a chokehold when it came to wanting to make an animation featuring these two lmao.
and the final frame. this one is meant to be harumi coming to terms with everything she's done and basically realizing that she's been taking her anger and trauma out on the wrong people her entire life. it's one of the most powerful scenes in the show to me, and due to the nature of this animation i wanted to make it the last frame.
so yeah, there's my explanation of
why i decided to make a choice animation for lloyd and harumi
why i think choice works for these two in the first place
#lego ninjago#ninjago#ninjago lloyd#ninjago harumi#lloyd garmadon#lloyd montgomery garmadon#harumi jade#jinxed chatter#jinxed fanart#furry ninjago#tw blood#tw manipulation
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honestly im just super interested in all of these, i feel like it's just gonna be going through all of them 4 at a time
two gods and a ghost, takeover, peacock feathers, and folklore -funky slugcat
Me rushing to get this answered before work because oh my god I love Peacock Feathers and I cannot wait 8 hours to rant about it
Two Gods & A Ghost
This AU is still on the drawing board but here's what I have so far!
Revek's a spirit, killed by a rogue witch. He resides within a forest glade, mostly just keeping watch over the forest's inhabitants. Despite being killed with magic, he still has some to his name, and he uses it to protect others. He's sort of become their unofficial protector
Revek meets Kever and Zee, two deities who are hiding from the world. They're both dressed as local witches, secretly using their shapeshifting and hydrokinesis to help out others. The pair are run out of their village after Zee's shapeshifting is discovered, and they run into Revek while fleeing. Both have varying levels of amnesia- neither remember they're gods, and both have forgotten something valuable to them.
Revek feels bad for them, and despite his hatred for witches, he decides to help them, knowing how shitty memory loss can be. Along the way, he realizes that he's related to the two gods and was one himself. He was the god of nature (tying into Z being the god of fire and Kever the god of water) and was murdered by a witch who took his abilities for themselves. Now determined to both restore his siblings' memories and avenge himself, Revek leaves his forest home.
Again, this is still on the drawing board, but that's what I have so far! I'll have to make full refs for the three in the future
Takeover AU (also called The AU)
I can't go too much into this one because it's shared between me and a mutual who may or may not want to be named. This is also called The AU because it was the first we ever made
Short description is that Revek and Grimm find out the multiverse exists, and two of their counterparts are plotting to takeover. This one is on the list because it has great potential for the drawing style I'm going for
Peacock Feathers
I love to say aus are my favorites but this one is 100% my absolute favorite. It, too, is something I wanna turn into a novel. Also first AU with other characters like Hornet, let's goo-
(The name Peacock Feathers might not make sense at a first glance. It'll be explained in the ramble post)
Grimm's an upbeat, aspiring actor in the process of studying theater. He's also got a love for astronomy. This passion is how he meets Revek, a cynical bookseller. The two starts out as enemies due to their clashing personalities, but soon become rivals, and then friends.
The bookstore Revek works at ends up catching on fire, killing him and a few others. Grimm's initially saddened by this, but later sees Revek's ghost following him and realizes he's one of the only few who can see him. Revek's not too fond on the idea of haunting Grimm but he's got no choice in the matter.
Sometime later, Grimm realizes details about the fire look more and more suspicious, so he investigates with the help of Revek. He encounters Hornet, who can also see Revek, alongside Ghost. Hornet is suspicious of the two, but begrudgingly helps investigate, revealing that the same fire that killed Revek also killed her mother. She, like Grimm, suspects it was no accident
I actually made a small relationship chart thing recently. I'll do a full one eventually, since this one focuses more on Revek
This is a pretty laidback au until it's not lmao
Folklore AU
Finally, the folklore AU! This is more of a concept than a full-fledged au but here we go
Revek is a cryfox; a mythological creature from the folklore of the people in my area. They're really obscure, but they're essentially shapeshifting foxes with the ability to steal voices. They usually ransom these voices back, and most commonly use the cries of children to lure in new voices. He takes care of his sister, Starsi. Grimm is among the townsfolk, mostly just vibing.
Grimm wanders into the forest that borders his village and is lured in by Revek. Revek is initially aggressive, but pauses when he sees Grimm's attire. He's attempted to wander into town but his disguise isn't perfect, so he's usually unsuccessful. He's trying to find a nice home for him and Starsi where they won't have to use their voice-stealing for survival and aren't threatened by traps. Grimm, ignorant to Revek's true nature, thinks he's just lost and agrees to help Revek find a place.
Grimm does discover Revek's identity, but sees how desperate they are in finding their sister a home and reluctantly agrees to continue helping. Revek rarely uses his abilities anyways, hating doing so. He manages to secure a small home with Grimm's help and is elated, but upon returning to retrieve his sister and their belongings, is horrified to find out she's been snatched by hunters. In an act of pure rage, Revek lures Brumm into the forest and steals his voice, using it as blackmail against Grimm. Grimm reluctantly helps Revek in searching for his sister
I made an art of Revek a little while back but it's not totally accurate so take it with a grain of salt
#hollow knight#my aus#two gods and a ghost au#the au#peacock feathers au#folklore au#my art#threnodoodles#2023nodoodles
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I was writing last night so I didnt liveblog my thoughts on it but! I am officially all caught up with Discovery, until s5 premieres later this week. gonna discuss my thoughts below, so spoiler warning!
overall, I really like Discovery! I love the characters, I love the dynamics between all of them, and I think the plots each season have been fun. sure, some of them are a bit convoluted, but hey its Star Trek so I expect that
I think jumping 930 years into the future helped with some of the issues I was having with the first 2 seasons, in that it was really hard to see this series as a prequel. ive talked a lot about how while the writing and everything made it clear this was a prequel, it just didnt look like a prequel. now, it doesnt have to, and the writing isnt held back by having to be a prequel, so we get to see and do some really cool shit. the new species introduced were awesome, ive loved seeing the federation come together, ive loved seeing different species we already knew and loved but so far in the future. I think the choice to go so far into the future was, overall, a good one
I think my biggest gripe overall with Discovery is that so many characters just. dont stay dead. I think this was fine with Hugh, I thought how they did it with him made as much sense (as much sense as anything in Star Trek makes) and it was pulled off really well, and I was satisfied from a writing standpoint and from an emotional standpoint. with Gray it was... fine. it was well-explained, but a bit of a cop-out. still, fine. Book's made me roll my eyes. im sorry, his was stupid. here's why I think so
I like Book. im not super attached to him, but I like him. I liked the conflict with him in s4. and I thought his death was actually done really well. it was sudden, and jarring, but you also realized pretty quickly that yeah. it was always going to end this way. Michael did everything she could, but she was never going to be able to save him. for a brief moment we think maybe he's saved, and then he's gone. it was harsh, but it was good (lemme give a shoutout to Sonequa Martin-Green's acting again cause her crying is VISCERAL) and then its immediately undone because Book is miraculously saved by 10-C. so, now, on top of having a cop-out resurrection, we also have an established pattern of Discovery being unwilling to kill characters and keep them dead
this isnt true with every case, of course. Discovery has absolutely no problem with killing villains and minor characters, and even killing characters we're familiar with but who dont play major roles. but now that we've done this resurrection thing multiple times, its going to affect how I view s5 and any situation they present where a major character might die. the emotional stakes just won't be there, because im gonna sit there and think about how we've been here before, and its never stuck. ill have a hard time taking any of those situations seriously, because ill be wondering how theyre gonna bring them back this time
that said, im still excited for s5 and cant wait to see what it has in store. of the newer Treks ive seen so far, Discovery is definitely one of the better ones. its absolutely better than Picard. I have a hard time comparing it to Lower Decks, since theyre such vastly different shows, but ive enjoyed it just as much as I enjoyed Lower Decks. from what we saw of the SNW cast in Discovery, im now cautiously optimistic that ill at least enjoy the characters in SNW, even if I have to deal with. another prequel
I probably won't liveblog Discovery s5 when I watch it, just to avoid spoilers. so, see yall when I start SNW tonight!
#star trek: discovery#refusing to commit to killing major characters is not a gripe I only have with Discovery#it just has the most examples of this#I was PISSED when Q showed back up at that little end scene in Picard#it felt like such a slap in the face after Picard s2 handled his death and closure so beautifully#but yeah. Discovery does it constantly#in my honest opinion here's my hot take#it would've been more satisfying if Book died and Michael had to accept that she could do everything right and still lose#it would've been heart wrenching but it would've hit better#but I think my real scalding take is that it would've been better if Gray wasn't made corporeal#and instead melded fully into being a past life within Adira#could've been a real 'when you love yourself thats me loving you' type thing which would've been beautiful#especially with a character who struggles like Adira does#im. fine. with Gray being around and physical I think its fine and it doesnt annoy me as much as Book's cop-out resurrection#but still. I would've done it differently
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i guess my issue with this episode is like. i didn’t like the crusty scene. i don’t even want to like criticize the episode too harshly because i understand the changes and why they made them and ultimately, i really like the direction they’re going in. but also it’s my favorite element they got rid of so i’m gonna complain just a little bit
so the segments that this episode covered includes scenes that really set the tone for the series going forward. overall the novels have this sense of a much more serious, grim world that’s very much tempered (and dare i say, even disguised) by percy’s narration and attitude. it becomes much more apparent in hoo when we have other, more distanced narrators, but also in the action & situations, at least to some extent. i think the first book really walks this line because while we have percy’s narration, the other entities carrying a similar energy is much more… subdued, as he gets to know the world and his place in it.
the scene with crusty, and the following scene with charon, are really the first moments when percy begins to put this outlook into action. with crusty, it’s the first time he’s put in a situation where he has to solve an encounter on his own and he does so through his wits. eventually, this becomes such an idiosyncratic way for him to problem solve that is not only fun to read, but characterizes the world in a way that really complements his outlook. even though it becomes much more apparent later, we see the start of this right away.
percy employs a similar method when he talks to charon, and the sort of high-charisma-yes-anding he does here is not out of the blue. it comes because of the way the world is situated. that is, the like very clear framework of charon and hades employee-boss relationship that takes the form of a very casual interaction we might more expect in, like, a workplace sitcom than a story about greek myths. that sort of mundane but still very rooted in the novel’s cultural context treatment is so critical to our understanding of the world of the gods as it is connected to and a reflection of the mortal world. we get confirmation of this in how hades explains his outlook—his relationship to charon and to the underworld and its overcrowding. i don’t want to overexplain this point, but these two and a half scenes set a precedent for the rest of the series going forward. that this is a main way percy solves problems (really interesting characterization; i think it would be much more expected and so much less percy if he were to, say, fight immediately) but it is also completely valid in the world they live in.
i think the show translates a lot of this, at least insofar as percy’s method of problem solving differs from other character’s. but his care is much more emphasized than his wittiness. this makes sense for a lot of reasons—it’s more thematically and totally consistent is a huge one. and these changes make a lot of sense with the reframing of this central element from the whole thing with western civilization to the separate worlds of gods and mortals. which i have. mixed feelings about. not because i particularly care for the original framework but because i think the criticism it inspires and the way the characters conceptualize and reacts to it are both interesting. and also because im not personally a big fan of the “two separate worlds” idea and the more epic sort of fantasy it becomes when you do that.
and i guess i’m just. disappointed in how it’s playing out in that sense. that that element won’t be present, even if it makes sense and i agree with the choice. like, the knowledge that the crusty scene would be in the show was an indicator that this element of percy’s character would be present, and that fact is not bad, because i do like how his character is playing out, but it’s just a bit disappointing when i’ve otherwise been so happy and impressed with how the show is going.
and also like. they’re just funny scenes. overall, i like how the show plays out tonally—i think it makes the most sense when we’re not in first person and i have personally found it consistently humorous. but. this episode felt a lot more somber imo, at least until hades appeared. which does fit with most of the stuff going on in the episode and i do think it would be inconsistent and difficult to have the flashbacks with sally amidst sillier scenes. but still. i was just so excited for a funny colorful waterbed scene
finally, i think the scene with crusty should’ve played out differently. and it’s important to me to note that this part of what i’m saying applies only to this scene. i think the shying away from violence, the characters’ cleverness in identifying the main player in each encounter, etc. all make a lot of sense. i don’t mind a moving away from action, even if i am a bit worried for how the swordfighting element plays out in the next episode, but tbh i don’t care too strongly about that (well. i do. for luke reasons. but i highly doubt they’ll be explored considering what i care about it wasn’t even really mentioned until the mark of athena. so i’m deciding they’re irrelevant).
and i’ve seen a lot of criticism for the way the characters solve each encounter, but for foes like medusa and the chimera and the lotus eaters… that makes a lot of sense, if these characters are supposed to have any knowledge of greek mythology. like, those are so baked into our consciousness today, of course they would figure those out. but for the less well known myths, at least to your casual viewer, why not have that element of mystery. the way it’s been done thus far makes sense—they should be able to figure it out, it would be difficult to watch them confused over and over, and it allows new things to be done in the adaptation. but i don’t think this needs to happen every time, or some of the conflict is entirely removed. like, they’re never at a loss for what to do or who this is? i suppose it serves to make the more lasting elements that are surprises that much more of a shock but… i don’t think it actually does that successfully. it’s not more surprising when that happens, because they’re entirely different contexts. but there is that larger emphasis on the foreknowledge that that will happen so it’s like… maybe what i’m saying is totally void.
anyway, tldr is, i didn’t find the crusty scene to be particularly standout or even all that compelling. i know i discussed more my expectations vs. what i got than an actual breakdown of what did happen but the truth is… it wasn’t that memorable. like, i literally remember what happened. i watched it again before i wrote this in case i missed anything. but it kind of felt randomly placed in. the thematic elements were very obvious—not inherently bad, i love the way the echidna episode did this—and yet. sort of off topic? but i digress.
and so without that introduction to how percy deals with issues, the charon scene doesn’t make as much sense, so i see why it played out differently. so too is the slight change in hades motivations. which again returns to that reframing of the god vs. mortal world. which. i see why they did it absolutely, but i’m not a fan of the direction they went it, just bc i don’t really tend to like that sort of story. and it’s not a huge flaw to me; i can certainly overlook it and get so much enjoyment out of it. but it’s just once place where i’m not loving how the retheming is working. which only stands out so strongly because i love the rest of it so much
like. i guess this all boils down to. this version of percy is smart, and also caring, and these are so clear and great, but he’s not witty and i love a witty character and an appropriately responsive world. it’s kind of that small but that’s my big gripe
#personal#like it’s just. he didnt ‘percy’#i don’t know what else to call it i’ve seen it called that#like i think the fact that i’ve seen it called that is so important bc obv it’s critical to his character#but like… even that line in the chalice of the gods where percy’s like ‘i just wasn’t being very sarcastic lately’ and it’s like.#but that’s the reason i like him :3#i still like him! i really like his portrayal in the show!! he’s funny & has the heart. but i wish he had this specific element yk
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# dog energy/cat energy but with all the ofmd couples
#our flag means death#ofmdedit#ofmdblog#blackbonnet#gentlebeard#olujim#black pete x lucius#(idk the ship name rip)#ofmd#userkitkaat#agentplant#userkristi#userocida#userhani#my gifs#this was me startlingly realizing that basically all the couples have their cat/dog energy moments sjdfhksd#and im gonna explain my choices here because some of them might not make sense lmao#but i think we all know that stede radiates golden retriever energy#and ed fucking pounces around everywhere like a god damn cat it was hard to choose a singular moment lmao#people have already pointed out the cat energy in the jim scene#also olu shaking the yarn could almost be cat energy because...yarn...but i think it fits dog energy more because of how he shakes it#like a dog going absolutely nuts on a chew toy sdjfhks#also i chose that scene of black pete because its SO FUNNY to me#the way he has such a stalled reaction like a dog noticing that their owner just snatched away their ball lmaoo#and also lucius.....must i explain.....lucius has SUCH cat energy its not even funny
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- rangers and couriers
- knights and support
this started as simple sketching for my special service au because i saw an old drawing with will’s cute lil face and i had intended to draw him properly with his full face,,, and then i did the opposite
(i started explaining points of the au and it got pretty long so i’ll put it below)
anyway this au is sorta like transposing ranger duties into a modern context. so they’re doing the same thing (roughly) but they have technology (except i havent decided on a time period so i dont knwo what level of tech yet). i simply like to draw the ranger bois with ear pieces.
also half this au is based on my selfish excuse to draw halt wearing aviator sunglasses.
i think ive already talked about gear so i dont want to do it again. the new thing is probably just me doing various camo uniforms
something i dont think ive mentioned is that the organisation has different divisions, and is a blend of the ranger and diplomatic corps. i think they should be sharing resources more often, and working together on certain missions would be beneficial. ranger-esque training and duties would be focused on combat and environmental stealth and etc. courier-esque training and duties would be centred around infiltration (in the political sense) and disguises and negotiation and stuff like that. in general, a lot of it overlaps. at least in field work. there would be additional divisions like tech and medical and such, plus a sort of council or senior inner circle (i havent decided what to call it yet) who oversee the organisation and make the big decisions.
the higher-ups are often at HQ. this is usually where crowley, halt, and pauline are, where they can see everything and coordinate. they dont do as much fieldwork but are still capable. halt might go out there, if there’s choice. but mostly he’s prioritised for strategy, and a sort of last line of defence for the higher-ups. atm i see crowley as the boss, but that might change. i headcanon pauline as a big polyglot, being fluent in many languages and this is useful in advising teams in the field. she can help out with translation (quicker than a computer i guess, because she understands most and can apply her diplomat’s brain to it) and also general diplomacy and social maneouvering.
i headcanon gilan as a combat specialist with his training in multiple weaponry (archery, knives, sword, strikers,, i like to imagine that farrel’s given him some axe lessons, he can use a lance but he doesnt Like it,, etc), and i like to imagine he’s very skilled at unarmed combat too, so importing that here. when he’s not on mission, he’s often overseeing combat drills of newer recruits and sparring with other agents. one of will’s specialties is his ‘butterfly’ thinking, but another i would consider is his shooting accuracy, so i put him as a marksman (for the sake of unique labels, but like i said earlier, a lot of things overlap. gilan’s not dumb guys). for alyss, ngl i wasnt sure what to put. i was gonna do disguises/infiltration but i settled on negotiator. i imagine she’d be very good at noticing social cues and remembering details from conversations and stringing her thoughts together, articulating them clearly, and being able to be a middle safe ground between different parties.
im not sure about whether horace would be part of this agency or if he’s an external partner who they hang out with sometimes. im inclined to include him (thinking about the Task Force in the books) but that doesnt mean im including every knight.
anyway i dont really have a super detailed and fleshed out au. mostly just ✨vibes✨
#ra special service au#//#john flanagan#ranger's apprentice#rangers apprentice#gilan davidson#alyss mainwaring#will treaty#pauline dulacy#halt o'carrick#crowley meratyn#artlyn#digital art#character art#fan art
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Mental Toll - Brothers.
Request: My mom kicked me out, her 15 year old daughter out of her house. And I've been staying with my aunt but everything is taking a mental toll on me . Can I get a Beel, mammon, Leviathan, or asmo comfort?
A/N: Sweetheart, I’m sorry for this. It can be all so difficult for you, but please take care of yourself. Remember that nothing is your fault, you’re a child, you’re gonna be okay. Please don’t keep these emotions bottled up (im also assuming this is comfort on your situation, so yeah)
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Mammon:
You’ll always have a place with him. He’s taken on a guardian role for you and while he might have hated it at first, he’s grown attached to you. Your guardians in the Human Realm don't matter. They decided to leave you, so now you’re here with him and he isn’t going to abandon you anytime soon. Mammon may not know what to do when he finds you crying and unable to speak, but he cares and he’ll try to show that to you, telling you that you can bunk with him for the night- you get to take his bed and he’ll sleep on the couch, you don’t have to be alone.
He isn’t exactly the best at comforting, using a bit too many words only to come up short, but once that initial nervousness wears off, he’s comforting. He’s taken care of a child before- granted they were much younger, and was then put into the care of witches- he knows what a scared kid looks like. He’ll offer what he can to you and let you rest your head on his bicep as he listens to you ramble about what happened. He won’t ever push for you to talk, but it might help sort out all those feelings that are bubbling up inside of you.
Of course it’s difficult for the both of you. He isn’t too knowledgeable about the mentality and fragility of a human mind and emotions but he can assume to be essentially kicked out of a parent’s home can be rough. He’s dealt with it before even if he knew the risks. He remembers the nights of pain and agony, the silent suffering that was thick in the air, and the lack of self-care. He comes in with a small meal every day, grabbing random vitamins that he thinks might be good for you, and just lets you rest. You see a more hidden side of Mammon, the one that cares too much, that acts almost like a parental figure and have a comforting smile and gives nice hugs.
You aren’t free to rest forever. He’s also seen what that kind of damage that can do to someone's mental health. He won’t ever pressure you to go out and do something you don’t want to, but you do have to move from the spot on his bed. You can hide yourself in his room for as long as you want, but you can’t live your life stuck in a bed. He knows that that isn’t good for anyone. You’ll have all the space that you could want and need, but you need to also talk to him and take care of yourself.
It’s his role as your guardian to take care of you and make sure that nothing bad would happen to you- you being in the Human Realm makes no difference to that. You’re still under his protection and he’ll take care of you as much as he can. Mammon can be brash, and have his sin take over, but it isn’t all that he is. He can be selfless and take care of you and let you just relax around him. There’s no pressure put on you and he’ll protect you. He promises that- he’s a demon, he’s lived for a long time and he’ll live for an even longer time and as long as he’s around, he’ll protect you.
Leviathan:
Coming to Leviathan is certainly a choice. He cares- of course he does! But, he doesn’t know what to do. Of course he knows how it feels, but it was different and so long ago and buried under memories and the fictional world, that he chose to forget that. It’s different with you. You’re a child who’s crying and at a loss for a parent that left them and it must hurt. He’s awkward, but he’ll sit by you and have a hand on your back telling you to take all the time that you need. He’s always here in his room after all, so you can always find him.
In the beginning, he doesn’t know what to do. Surely, there should be words or tips online that could help him translate his words and feelings better than “that sucks.” An apology feels so fake and unsure and he doesn't want that for you. You deserve something real, an actual meaningful interaction that might help you but he comes up blank. He doesn’t know what exactly he should say, so he just lets you rest beside him as he tells you his own encounter with abandonment and what helped him.
He tries to make you feel better in a way that helps him- via distractions. It helped him and maybe it could help you. You like to spend time with him so you both must share some type of interest in common. He feels so proud of himself when he offers you to read his manga or play some of his games. It’s a nice distraction and depending on what you choose, it can be a great way to just open up emotions and see what could effectively help trigger just that blockade of emotions for the both of you. You don’t have to do it, but it proves to be nice to just immerse yourself in some fictional tale.
Eventually, he starts to read what you read once you’ve fallen asleep. You gravitated towards it for a reason and it’s easier to talk to you like that. You get to be the hero, the protagonist or whoever you want, and he knows the struggles that they go through. He can help through an outside glance. It starts off simple, just him mentioning comments, prying for information about why you like a certain character and then in just a blink of an eye, you’re crying. You opened up and he’s by your side.
Comforting you is a bit awkward, but what could he expect. He sits by you and lets you talk through your emotions even if it makes no sense- your words are garbled and out of order- but he gets the main point of it. Leviathan understands that you’re hurting and who wouldn’t be. You’re a child, and the love of a parental figure means a lot. He might not be confident to have that type of relationship with you, but he can certainly be a big brother who lets you come into his room and sleep in a futon that he has when you’re feeling particularly lonely.
Asmodeus:
His eyes are sad, the usual glow and glimmer dimmed and his smile once beautiful and stretched, it pulled into a soft frown. Even in sadness, he still looks beautiful. With a gentle pull, he brings you into his room, and lets you set your stuff down on the floor. Asmodeus holds your face in his hands and gingerly wipes away your tears. You’ve had such a long day and it’s no secret that he has the best bath in the house, so he lets you go use it in order to destress, just enough to clean yourself and have time to gather your feelings and thoughts.
The room is suited to him and to only him, but he figures that you wouldn’t want to be alone. He has to rid some of the extra pillows on the bed, rid of the stronger scents in the room in order to not congest you more, and just declutter his room a bit more. It’s suited for him, a demon who can and lives for the finer things, but for you, he needs you to be able to breathe. The sheets are replaced, the towel that he has set for you soft and fluffy and the clothes clean and smelling like the house, a much better scent than the stitched to your clothes. He sends it to you via magic, wanting you to come to him when you’re ready.
When you approach him, he gives you a comforting smile and pats the bed beside him. He grabs your hand and massages it slowly, telling you that he’ll be here for you if you need anything. You can talk to him or choose not to, and he won’t pressure you in the slightest. You can take your time to talk to him. He feels a bit bad that he can’t tell you that everything will be okay, he knows it will, so sure of it that he’d bet himself on it, but it isn't what you want to hear. You just need to know that he’s right there by your side.
For now, you’re okay. You’re safe in his room and he likes being an older brother- at least to a few. He likes to spoil people rotten, and he gets to do that with you. You get to have everything good and shiny. You’re going to be okay when you stick with him, because he won’t let anything happen to you. He’s going to be your new home, your new big brother.
The process is tough, and he doesn’t rush anything. It’s subtle with Asmodeus and being ever so careful with his appearance, he makes sure to take care of yours. Mental health is so fragile and he just wants you to be okay. He’ll offer substitutions if certain activities can feel a bit too difficult for you, but he doesn’t push too much. You still have to take care of yourself and it might feel overbearing, but he needs to take care of you.
Beelzebub:
Family means everything to Beelzebub. At the very end of it, it’s part of the core of who he is. He feels your pain and is empathetic when you tell him what happened and he holds you close, letting you rest on his bed as he sits on the edge with a comforting hand rubbing circles on your back. He’s a demon, he knows just how cruel others can be, and yet, to see someone hurt someone as young as you, it makes him sick.
Your tears hit him hard and he can only hug you as you cry into him about your situation. There are too many emotions inside of you and it must be so difficult for you to handle all of them and he wishes he could help take that away, but he can only hold you and make sure that you sleep in a position that won’t hurt your neck once the tears have tired you out. It’s the little things that he does for you until you come to him and explain everything to him, and he’ll listen and won’t interrupt.
During this time, he tries to not be imposing. He doesn’t want you to run from him so he’ll give you time to come to him when you’re ready. He checks up on you often, knocking on your door and entering with a few snacks. He’ll stay if you ask him and talk to you about mundane stuff. A part of him wonders if that’s really what you want to hear, but he can’t say anything different. He doesn’t know what it is that you want to hear and he doesn’t want to pressure you any further. Anyways, it seems like you like to listen to him during these moments. Maybe, he provides a nice distraction.
He’ll always make sure that he has his phone on him in case you need him. He’s told you before that you can contact him whenever you want, and that he’ll come running to you. He’s sure it’s his big brother instincts taking over. He may be the sixth brother, but it doesn’t remove the fact that he has a twin. It’s only by his power that he ranks sixth. With you, he can be a big brother and be the cool and caring type that takes care of you. You can always come to him whenever you need something and he’ll make sure to give you whatever you want.
It comes to no surprise that you two develop a strong bond and you start to stick to him and he welcomes that. He won’t leave you alone unless you ask him to and he always makes sure to include you in whatever activity he has. During lunch, he’ll sit with you and listen to you and he’s glad that you're starting to feel better around him. You’ve both grown quite attached and he tries to do good by you. Beelzebub will give you whatever you need because beside his twin, you’re the youngest in the family. He’ll reassure you that nothing is your fault, that you’re only a child and that you’ll be okay. You’ve been there for him and he’ll be there for you.
#obey me#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#big brother vibes!!#for all!!#or least four#theyd care a lot#theyd be clunky and unsure how to deal with it#but they would#they care
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What makes BTS most vulnerable
Woo! A reading! I wanted to do this bc its been on my list for a little while now!
I just got off work and wanted to do this asap! Pls forgive mistakes! I'm not gonna proof read bc im lazy.
Cheeky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!!
So so so so
First off, I did each member and also one for the group! I didn't have a specific plan in mind when I started, so I just went with the flow!
Let's start with the group first
So. The 5 of pentacles is what makes them most vulnerable. This card talks about isolation, feeling lost, anxiety, not having money or influence. Most of all, a mindset of lack.
All of this to me makes me think that what makes them most vulnerable is the fear of being right back where they started. Feeling exiled from the industry, not having the funds to be sure of a stable future and also not having a strong sense of identity as a group and within the group. It's like their vulnerability comes from something almost like ptsd? Let me try to make that make more sense. I genuinely think that where they started and the uncertainty and constant ridicule really had an impact on them. The vulnerability they have as a group is essentially emotional distress? Like, I wish I had better words to explain. It's the fear that they haven't actually grown or gotten anywhere and that they are insignificant that is their vulnerability. Fear based on where they started?
I really hope that made sense. Moving on though, 7 of swords is how it manifests for them. This card is sneaky. It talks about getting away with something and betrayal but I think this meaning is the most relevant: strategic moves. So how their vulnerability manifests is that the fear that they have causes them (and the company) to make very specific moves to keep their fears from happening. It's like, they take steps to make sure their fears don't get realized. Career wise but also personally. They can sometimes force growth because they fear stagnation. Kinda like rolling something uphill? Once it loses momentum it starts rolling back down.
The other two cards, Wellness and busy times and multitasking, are what they can do to lessen that vulnerability. Keeping healthy in mind body and spirit (also keeping the group bond healthy too) as well as channeling their emotions and fears into productivity. (Think the ly:tear album)
Seokjin
This is really intresting. So, what makes him most vulnerable is repressed emotion that causes inner turmoil. The moon is all about your insides and the vastness it has. In its reverse it talks about the darker parts of your subconscious. So, him bottling shit up and repressing it becomes a monster that affects him without him even necessarily knowing.
As for how that manifest in his life, it literally affects his judgment. Like, literally. It messes with his decision making.
As a fellow human with a similar problem, I can almost bet that any issue he has with another member will be shoved away and it will fester until he's at his breaking point and he'll absolutely weaponize it but disguise it as "just poking fun" or he might also purposefully create low level chaos. It's really intresting because this could manifest in so many ways. It could be his insecurities, issues with other people, fears ect and they fester in his brain space fucking with his judgment.
What he can do to lessen this vulnerability is deep emotional healing. Istg these cards are too perfect to make up. He needs to do THE WORK and heal it. He probably recognizes this and is working on it. Its not fair to himself to put himself aside in order to put other people first. (I think this probably happened a lot in the early bts days bc he had to be an older brother and a responsible figure to 6 other kids so he prioritized group harmony over his own issues and emotions)
Yoongi
????
Um, okay. So what makes yoongi most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. That's the 10 of pentacles rev. But it gets interesting bc the 10 of swords isn't what makes him vulnerable but it also isn't how it manifests?? So here's my theory time. What makes him most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. I can only assume that it's the isolation and internal conflict of benefiting off of a system that fucked you over in the first half of your life and also feeling bad for having wealth that most people can never imagine? I really don't know? But with the 10 of swords talking about betrayal and deep wounds, it could be that he's extremely afraid of being taken advantage of? Like, that's another downside of wealth. Maybe people have tried to use him for money or influence? Especially in his personal life. Like, he probably finds it extremely hard to get close to people because he's afraid of betrayal over something that is already hard for him to deal with?
Also loss. He wasn't born rich. He worked his ass off to get what he has and he's probably afraid to lose it. He might "stash" money?
Anyway, knight of swords, how it manifests. This card is about a drive to succeed. So essentially this makes him run and push himself hard and harder and harder to out run what he sees as an inevitable end? Sometimes this can blind him.
As for what he can do to lessen this vulnerability, we have, self confidence through God confidence. This card to me talks about having faith in your actions and skills and trusting in yourself even if you doubt your ability. Essentially, yoongi just needs to trust in himself to land on his feet no matter what happens. Life is always uncertain so he needs to trust that he can weather any storm he might face.
Hoseok
This was one gave me some thoughts. So, similar to jin, it's the bottling shit up and having you subconscious mind eventually figure shit out because it's been neglected but with the 2 of swords in reverse, talking about confusion and being indecisive, I think this kinda causes him to shut down? He might get apathetic. It's almost like when you work a computer so hard that it crashes.
And how this manifests for him with the 3 of pentacles in reverse is that he gets thrown out of alignment with the group. Kinda like how you shouldn't drive on a flat tire. He withdraws and becomes hard to reach and puts up a wall that causes a lot of problems for him as well as those he is around. It's a defense mechanism. It can also manifest in him preferring to work alone as well instead of group settings.
This exposes him to depression and doubt.
Also similar to jin, for how to lessen this vulnerability we have Bless your heart with talks about reaching out (breaking down that wall) and healing your heart and healing the root issue.
Namjoon
Okay. This is the one that makes so much sense but also confuses me.
So. What makes him most vulnerable is the magician rev and 10 of cups. Unrealized potential and poor planning as well as love, harmony and alignment.
So.... what? How does love and the happiest happiness make him vulnerable?
Well, I think he's suspicious of it. I think that he can't help but wonder in his big big big brain if THIS is the right happy or if its really happiness at all? Almost like commitment issues but also not? It's like, he's afraid that it won't last? He might have trouble fully allowing himself happiness. Also, what makes him the most vulnerable is love. It opens up every bit of his soul and puts it on a laundry line for everyone to see and I don't think he thinks he's worthy enough to be seen like that?
As for how it manifests in his life, 9 of cups, personal fulfillment and a strive to have everything else in hislife sorted out? Essentially wanting to have a perfect foundation so eventually he can share with all the important people in his life.
As for what he can do. Value your self worth. pretty straight up. He needs to value himself more. He deserve love and he deserves to feel seen even if it's uncomfortable at first.
Jimin
Oki. What makes jimin most vulnerable is choice. The 7 of cups talks about focusing on what's best for you and making choices based not on illusion. I think jimin is plagued by unrealistic expectations and confronting the fact that it's not possible is what makes him most vulnerable. He makes choices that are driven by illusion. Usually about self. I think specifically about how he doesn't always see how good he already is so he pushes himself to chase after something that isn't always right for him or even there in the first place. Acknowledging and facing it brings vulnerability that he doesn't always want to face. I think he might equate vulnerability to powerlessness.
How it manifests. 9 of wands rev. Paranoia and being defensive. It's his own fear and insecurities manifesting outside of himself.
As for what he can do, passion and purpose and multifaceted. Focus on what is close to his heart and don't get side tracked. Theres so much more to this situation and there isn't an easy fix. There's a lot of things that need working on in order for him to feel comfortable.
Taehyung
Oki oki oki. What makes Tae most vulnerable is strength rev. Raw emotion. He doesn't always express his emotions and when he chooses to be more open, his emotions go through a bit of a filter. Showing his unfiltered emotions makes him most vulnerable because it's him as he is. In his truest form. It's all of his wants, joys, fears. Everything.
As for how it manifests, 10 of wands and Hanged man, it becomes a burden that he carries because he feels like he can't just be honest. He pauses and allows himself time to feel on his own but that means possibly being misunderstood and a bit isolated.
Now. What can he do to lessen it? Bless your heart and healthy communication in relationships. TALKING TO PEOPLE AND ALLOWING HIMSELF THAT VULNERABILITY. It's not bad to be vulnerable. Heal that shit bb bc you are worth it.
Jungkook
So, what makes him most vulnerable? The world in rev. Not having closure and seeking it. The process of seeking closure for himself about things that could have or putting to rest something that has come full circle. It brings vulnerability because he has to face things that he could have done better. He has to face things coming to a close and be okay with is.
How it manifests, the tower, ace of cups, 5 of cups reversed.
The tower is essentially everything crumbling down. I think jk thinks too much? If you follow a ball of yarn all the way to the end then you just unraveled a whole ass ball of yarn.
Him going to close those things cause him to unravel his foundation.
With the ace of cups, creativity and love/ new emotions, I think him taking the time to pursue personal closure helps him to be more open to love as well as giving him creative fuel.
The 5 of cups rev. Means that him doing this closure thing helps him to forgive himself bc he's taking time to move on and tie up loose ends?
For jk this closure thing manifests in every aspect of his like and I almost see it as him shedding? Sounds weird but he's consciously moving on and paying attention to what he needs?
As for what he can do? Deep emotional healing! He runs the risk of feeling more of the tower manifestation so he needs to keep himself emotionally healthy in order for this to be productive instead of destructive!
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I hope y'all like this! I feel like the cards didn't always follow what I was kinda going for with my questions but it all works out in the end I guess?
My next reading will be up later this week (I've already done it and taken all of my notes. I just have to type it all out) so look foward to that as well!
#bts tarot#bts readings#bts reactions#bts imagines#seokjin#jin#suga#yoongi#min yoongi#Hoseok#jhope#bts jhope#namjoon#rm#bts rm#bts jimin#jimin#park jimin#taehyung#bts v#jungkook#jk#jeon jungguk#hoseok#bts
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Please! Rewatch the quiz! I need something to remind me that that actually happened.
I still vividly remember that day. Going out on a chill bike ride with my two best friends for the first time in months. Sitting in the cool grass. Having a picknick. Not too hot out, nice weather. AND THEN I GET HOME TO THE ABSOLUTEL SHITSHOW THAT HAPPENED THAT DAY! Because what the HELL even was that, I still haven't processed anything. My mind keeps erasing that memory until some days the it just hits me square in the face and knocks me out 😀
So yeah! I would love it if you talked more about it, might help to cope a bit xD
Okay anon you motivated me, you were my Final push, I’m Doing it ! 🗣
Also I love that story tho you really have a Vivid memory connected to this whole thing and I’m living for it 😂 you were just having a nice day and then Boom, all this mess 💀
But aight so I’m Watching it rn and will be taking notes Live as I watch Here we go:
My first thoughts is, when Dream decides to do the quiz, he seems so like, confident? And then as soon as he reads the description, his voice falters at ‘and now things are changing’ and I’m Dead 💀 his confidence from two seconds prior in that moment goes like 📉 then cue flustered laugh lmao
“Do you ever catch yourself staring at your bff?” Dream’s flustered laugh and being all like “these questions are gonna be so weird” uhhhhh dude what are you expecting you’re taking a are you in love with your best friend quiz 💀
HES SO DEFENSIVE ON THIS ONE LIKE- he keeps wanting to make excuses aww drema aww 😭 it’s okay !! George is pretty we Understand you staring king 😌
Like legit that’s the first question and he’s already so flustered and- MY GOD GEORGE HASNT SAID A THING I JUST REALIZED WAIT HOLD ON I NEED TO GO BACK-
Two scoffs. That’s it 🧍♀️
GEORGE JSJWNSOWNEEJEN HES NOT SAYING ANYTHING IM DYING WHAT
Even when Dream first goes ‘aight imma take the am I in love w my best friend test’ George is SILENT 💀
Listen- listen, I’m having a moment over this cause I don’t remember him being silent from the start I thought it was like a slow descent into him just going silent eventually, BUT NO he’s just Silent from the moment the quiz is brought up 💀 but gives like a slight scoff when Dream’s voice wavered at “changing” like he’s very much Listening, just being So silent.
I just can’t wrap my head around how he doesn’t answer any of Dream’s comments, Dream keeps being like ‘right? Like that’s normal, right? Like that’s not weird. Right?’ And George is just SILENT 💀
“Do you get jealous if he or she has a bf or gf” LMAO THIS QUESTION MY BELOVED
His answer is so weird I will die on this hill.
ALSO GEORGE S P E A K S for the first time in the quiz 😭🗣 but not much, he says ‘but’, cause, yk, they both know he do get jealous so.
Which, again. Weird as hell. Imma say it, I’ve never felt jealous of my best friend getting a partner like what ???? W h a t
But ofc when they’re so clingy on each other, like a partner would take the others place because they pretty much have each other in that spot already, so it makes sense huh
And that’s not platonic btw I wanna make that clear LMAO
I think the points of which George laughs are interesting. And there’s something interesting to his laugh too. I don’t see his face lighting up with it, if that makes sense. It’s like a, I wouldn’t say ‘nervous’ laugh but, I struggle to find a better word for it 🤔
AYO MY MANS DREAM SAYS I DONT KNOW TO IF HE GETS BUTTERFLIES FROM GEORGE I- 💀
THATS NOT AN I DONT KNOW QUESTION KING
EITHER YOU DO OR YOU DONT AND YOU KNOW IF YOU DO OR DONT LIKE W H A T
I have to sit with this one for a second like . What ? 🧍♀️
Butterflies.
I’ve never. In my life. Like.
That’s not- you can’t say you don’t know- THAT MEANS LIKE-
Dear lord.
Aight I’m moving on (not actually imma be awake thinking about this later. Not by choice, absolutely not. This just won’t leave my brain unfortunately.)
Hang on. George says something here when Dream says ‘I have no idea’ but I can’t tell what he’s saying ? Like he mumbles something whilst Dream starts talking at the same time and I can’t make it out and I wanna know what he says 💀🗣
I Think he says ‘what do you mean you have no idea?’ Which like, YEAH, you Should question him on that king 🧍♀️ but it’s interesting how quiet he is, like he barely pushes the question, and this is like the second ?? Time he’s spoken so far. 🧍♀️
Also Listen to how flustered Dream sounds my god💀
This quiz never should’ve happened what’s Wrong with him like is he this blind ?? Did he Really think taking this quiz was gonna end well ?? 💀
“TecHniCally🥴”
“My future is your future”
I feel like we’ve talked abt these LMAO such Romantic phrasing my god
Again him going ‘right?’ And George is Dead Silent 💀
It’s interesting, like I’ve reached the ‘dreams’ question now, and it’s hitting now and throughout this quiz how, Dream is Loudly deflective, but George is silently deflective. If that makes sense? Like he’s choosing not to speak so his words can’t be thrown back at him cause he Knows if he speaks it’ll be obvious. Whilst Dream over explains and fucks himself over p much lmao. They’re both just a mess around this subject 💀
“How would You be in my dream” is such a funny sentence from George LMAO he’s so defensive 💀 like even I have had dreams abt Dream, like you’re his Best Friend, ofc you have dreams abt him my guy 💀 deflecting it is so weird. So Weird
“I’ve never hugged you” Sad hours 😔
It’s interesting here. Cause they speak abt the whole ‘do you go out of your way for this person’ and Dream is stuck on if he should say ‘more than anyone else I know’ or not. Which, there’s ofc observations to be had here as well.
But ! What I found interesting here was how George goes onto say ‘you made me pay you’ when Dream says he edited his video for him. And how George keeps the ‘lie’ going for a very short bit before laughing slightly, by god he sounds so.. different? Like when he usually makes little lies to troll or stuff like that, he’s much more extra and keeps the bit going and- idk how to explain it but the tone of his voice is usually way different. Here he seems to, idk, struggle to keep that up. His laugh is also just like, somewhat toneless?
LMAO The MOMENT Dream got the question ‘what do you think abt their laugh’ George’s laugh Stops. 💀
“Do you ever think abt what it would be like to Kiss your best friend?”
THE SILENCE
Also,
how Dream read ‘kiss’ 🤝 how Dream read ‘changing’
Some words hit this man different huh LMAO
“Why did that take you so long” on the kiss question, CALL HIM OUT GEORGE 🗣
HRKEJEKEEJEKJEEIEJ HOW ARE THOSE- SORRY WHAT DREAM ??
“HOW ARE THOSE THE ONLY OPTIONS” ???
God, for real, I wish Dream would get to sit down with someone one day who just Listened to him speak and allowed him to slip up and just sound so in love with George like give himself away simply because nobody is saying how weird he’s-
Hold on.
Wait. A minute.
George.
George is doing that LMAOOOO
Him sitting there silently and not responding to all his small questions abt what he Should answer and such, he’s so smart🧍♀️
AIGHT MOVING ON
George’s laugh keeps sounding very, like, strange😅
Anyways the way Dream Had to have a ‘yes’ answer to the kiss one will forever keep me up at night. Now along with the butterflies one🧍♀️
I rly wonder what options it is Dream is looking for when he says ‘none of these options’ so often. What is it you wanna say king ?
WHY IS THE BUTTERFLIES QUESTION TWICE AND WHY IS HIS ANSWER NOW DIFFERENT LMAO - drema it’s okay it’s Safe Space 🗣 I feel like he probably saw chat responding to his first answer and realized ‘oop, that’s not platonic’ and changed his answer LMAO 💀 he’s- Ahh hard to find the right words for my Thoughts here, but he’s doing that thing where he looks for others what is ‘normal’ instead of seeing what he feels, cause what He feels is, uh, well we all know what results he got at the end there,,
I mean the kiss question is all u need really. The butterflies one puts icing on the whole cake.
“Do you compare this person to others you’ve dated? Noo...” AIGHT AND THERE WE HAVE THE CHERRY ON TOP OF THE WHOLE THING
This was the one of the Most sus ones imo from when I first watched it. It had my head spin, head in hands for Days.
What do you MEAN you compare him to others you’ve dated? Why does he tell George to shut up, why do they both Know there’s a story there- I have so many questions on this and- this isn’t platonic 💀😭 AT ALL - and there’s no excuse or explanations for this one, they just Move On 💀
The Speed at which they move on 💀
And then George goes So silent 🧍♀️
Dream is cruising through the questions and George is so silent now. He was Stunned into silence from that shut up LMAO
I like how Dream picked ‘absolutely’ on being able to tell George everything :’)
So.
Why does George not say anything on the ‘do you think your best friend is in love with you’ question? No joke, no protest, no- no nothing?
That leaves us to fill in the blanks king, just saying🧍♀️
Why does Dream sound sarcastic when he says it’s a tough question LMAO
“I have no idea” aight good answer ig LMAO let’s Pretend
George’s silence is for real very sus there. Very. 🥴
Dream putting ‘no’ on thinking he’s in love, is Very funny and shows just how blind he is to himself.
He rly put ‘I don’t know’ for the butterflies one and found the nearest ‘yes’ option for the kiss one and then still put ‘no’ at the end - he’s a lost cause and owns no mirrors I see how it is. (/j btw lmao I have hope in drema ofc, he too can become more self aware one day<3)
“You are a little in love with your best friend” cue both of them laughing in just the weirdest ways. George just sounds absolutely toneless like, I don’t think he’s even smiling with that laugh, gaze absolutely dazed at what he’s being witness to, not even knowing what to do with himself in that moment. And Dream’s laugh is also just, weird?
“You don’t wanna ruin it, Dream.” Followed by Dream’s immediate, “oh what? It says-“ like immediately moving on lmao 💀 that “oh what?” Sounded like “oh what’s that there oh that’s rly weird wow let’s move on from what you just said ahem wow really weird thing over there” LMAO
“There’s a two percent chance there” LMAO
OH NO THE SILENCE WHAT
I THOUGHT I ACCIDENTALLY PAUSED THE VIDEO BUT THE SILENCE IS SO LONG AND SO LOUD
Then Dream going onto pretending like he’s gonna do another test As If he’s not been planning his escape excuse from the very moment he got those test results LMAO
And the silent pauses are taking me out 💀
‘I think we’re done’ HOW COULD HE LEAVE AT THAT POINT 💀💀💀
“COOL PODCAST” IM DEAD ON THE FLOOR
“WHY ARE YOU SO NOSY” DREAM I- WHY U SO DEFENSIVE GEORGE ASKING WHERE YOU’RE GOING IS A NORMAL THING TO ASK 💀YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S SUDDENLY LEAVING
NOT DREAM AWKWARDLY SINGING THE WIZARD OF OZ-
HE SOUNDS SO WEIRD-
The tone of his voice is so off my guy is so ready to leave and sit and stare at a wall whilst looping heatwaves for five hours 💀
:((((( drema my beloved :((((( it’s okay to be in love !!
Not him leaving- he full on ignored George’s ‘where are you going?’
He’s not going anywhere istg the moment he left that discord he put his head in his hands and just Stared 💀
Poor George 🥺
#aight those were my thoughts omg this got so long LMAO#I legit thought I’d have barely any notes going into this#and then I ended up having to pause every five seconds cause there was just So Much to unpack 🥴😭#so Many Thoughts#so anyways sry anon that this took me a moment lmaoo#but here’s just a whole analysis on the are u in love w your best friend quiz#I never did do one like a lot of others did after that stream#I needed five business days to process#that turned into months apparently LMAO#but now here they are: My Thoughts#long post#that read me option has never been more needed LMAO#dnf observer answers ask#dnf tings and rambles#dreamnotfound#my analysis#edit: I was gonna post this a few days ago but Stuff happened so am posting it now finally🗣
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after (jjk) - 005
pairing: patient!oc x patient!jungkook
genre: friends to lovers au, kinda a hazel and gus trope, | lots of angst, fluff and suggestive themes
warning: this chapter gets extremely dark 😭 (nothing new lol)
authors note: omfg im so sorry it’s taken me so long to post 😩 the schedule might change from now on bc my schedule changed 😅 but hope u guys enjoy it 😩😩
there's a phobia called agoraphobia. it’s basically the fear of places and situations that can cause panic, helplessness and/or embarrassment. usually, i can deal with it. but things like cringe worthy scenes and overly cheesy romance is unavoidable.
especially being friends with jeon jungkook.
i knew better than to hand out my phone number to just anyone, but i thought maybe jungkook would be so busy with his own life, he would leave me alone.
for his parents' sake, i hope he had unlimited talk and text for his plan. the boy texted me first thing in the morning and every hour or so. he would call me at night, sometimes even facetime me, just before he went to bed. and even when we would hang up, he would still text me goodnight.
the only other person i would talk to everyday, other than my parents, is hoseok. hoseok was my older cousin, but one of my closest friends as well. but even hoseok gave a break during the day to allow some “me time” for the both of us.
jungkook was relentless. he would always text me “good morning sunshine” and then text me “good night my moon”. what the hell even was that?
as much as it was annoying, it was endearing in a sense. i guess it was nice to have someone other than family constantly checking up on me. but some part of me couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of what namjoon had said and if he felt obligated to have to talk to me.
i knew jungkook wasn’t like that. but a small part of me couldn’t help but convince myself that it could be true.
“so the guy texts you all the time? it’s not a big deal,” hoseok said, sitting across the island in his kitchen. i stuck my fork into my bowl of fruit, impaling a small blueberry in the process.
“i mean, it’s not but it’s weird. hobi, i’ve never had someone crave to talk to me so often. and i swear it has to be because of what our counselor said,” i mumble.
the thing about hoseok is he has an aura that gets you to spill all emotions. much like jungkook. but the difference between the two of them in my life is that i’ve known hoseok a lot longer and can confirm he can keep his mouth shut.
“well contrary to your belief, you’re a decent person to have around,” he shrugs, giving a strawberry in his mouth. i snort at his comment and roll my eyes.
“wow, what a compliment. it’s a wonder you’re single,” i chuckle, shoveling the fork full of blueberries into my mouth.
“i’m single by choice. what about you?” hoseok smirks, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
“what’s that supposed to mean?” i asked, laughing at his expression.
“what?”
“the whole thing?” i respond, laying my fork down onto the counter, leaning onto it with my elbows, forearms flat as i folded my hands.
“i’m single because i choose to be. i prefer comforting solitude than forced company,” he shrugs, continuing to shovel fruit into his mouth.
“forced company?” i ask.
“yeah. like, just because we’re together, they feel obligated to HAVE to hang out with me or invite me everywhere when, in reality, i don’t give a damn. i mean, you know me. we both value our solitude and respect that. but it’s hard to find someone that understands that. and then i’m the bad guy for wanting alone time when really, it’s a mental health break,” hoseok explains, his eyes locked onto the bowl in front of him.
his statement surprised me. he was always such a people oriented person. as kids, he was the first to make friends between us and always such an extrovert. it kind of hurt to know eventually his whole personality switched. but maybe being so wrapped up in my world and in my own issues, i failed to acknowledge the people around me.
the atmosphere changed after that. almost as if there was a sad reminisce in the air.
“do you think you’re forced to keep me company?” i blurted. i couldn’t deny, the thought crossed my mind multiple times before. was everyone around me just babysitting to make sure i didn’t hurt myself?
i couldn’t tell. i knew asking would be dumb. hoseok would never tell me the truth. he’s usually a pretty blunt and up front guy, but he would never outright hurt my feelings. which saddened me even more. would he willingly lie to comfort me? knowing what i knew?
“do you think i am?”
“yeah,” i honestly admitted. we both sat in silence, taking in my answer.
it wasn’t a lie. like i said, the thought had crossed my mind. every time he placed his phone down on the table to force himself to give me his attention. the way he seemingly dropped everything immediately if i asked him to hang out with me or pick me up some place. how i never heard of him being with friends.
the more i sat there, the more i threw myself into overdrive, thinking until my head started to pound from overthinking.
“well, you’re wrong,” he sighed. my eyes flitted up to gaze at his face. he looked sullen, almost like my answer had upset him. i released a silent huff through my nose, smirking in the process.
“you don’t have to protect me,” i murmured quietly.
“my mom called me. she begged me to come home one day. i didn’t understand it at first, but she's my mom. i did as i was told. when i got home, she didn’t say anything, just told me to get in the car. i remember thinking to myself ‘what’s got her feeling this way? why is she being ominous with her actions?’ the whole drive, she said nothing,” hoseok said, a distant look in his eyes.
“she ended up pulling over at some park. it was late, so i didn’t recognize it at first. but then i realized what park it was. it was the park we went to as kids. and, again, i kept wondering to myself why she was being enigmatic with her actions. and then she spoke. she said six words and then didn’t speak the rest of the week,” he said, his voice shaken with sadness.
“what did she say?” i asked softly, my voice a mere whisper. hoseok looked up at me, his eyes glazed red.
“your cousin tried to kill herself.”
i felt like the air had come out of my lungs.
it’s funny, people like to talk about your attempts, but nobody ever tells you where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news. nobody tells you the pain they feel or the hurt. the anger or the betrayal. they pretend like what they felt didn’t happen to convince themselves it wasn’t real and they could move on. because it didn’t work and you’re alive.
but hearing hoseok tell me about his experience, it stirred something in my heart and i hadn’t felt in a long time.
regret.
“she didn’t even mention if you survived or if you were okay. that’s all she said. and because she was crying, i assumed the worst. i had assumed you died. and it felt like everything in me… stopped working. like, i forgot what it was like to not have you by my side. every… every memory, every laugh. every inside joke. it was like a corny ass film playing at 2x speed in front of me. my mind kept telling itself this can’t be real. she wouldn’t do that to me’. but the longer we sat there and the harder she cried, i couldn’t take it. i jumped out of the car and just started running. i didn’t know where i was going but i just had to run because the car was so suffocating, i thought i was gonna pass out. and i kept asking myself ‘why her? why couldn’t she just talk to me? why didn’t she tell me she was hurting? does she know how much i love her and that i would do anything to keep her here?’ and then i was pissed because i thought you had abandoned me. that you didn’t care about me or your parents or my mom. but then… once i stopped running… i felt bad for you. because i could never imagine the amount of loneliness you must’ve felt thinking the only way to solve this was to end it all,” he said through his compendious recount of that night. i could feel the hurt and regret make its rounds in my heart, forcing my body to follow. it physically ached to hear hobi recall every moment of that night. “i’m sorry,” i cried out, crying into my hands.
“that’s why i hang out with you. that’s why i talk to you. because i don’t want you to feel that kind of loneliness ever again,” he admitted, sniffling. the hurt and regret only further festered and made me cry over hard to the point where i felt like i couldn’t breathe. hoseok stood from his spot, making his way around the island. he stood in front of me, pulling me into his chest, my arms wrapping around his waist. i hadn’t hugged anyone in years, and the amount of care and love hoseok had emitted through his hug made me cry even more.
“and that’s why i’m so glad you have jungkook. because when i can’t be there, at least he is,” he explained, rubbing small circles in my back.
though my doubt was still heavy, and i felt as if he had an ulterior motive, hoseok’s words comforted me in a way.
jungkook had been nothing but kind, never intrusive or inquisitive about my history or my feelings. he spoke to me because he wanted me to know that he cared.
and for the first time in forever, i felt something else too.
hope.
#bts#kpop#bts jungkook#jungkook#bts angst#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts fluff#bts jeon jungkook#bts scenarios#jeon jungkook fluff#jeon jungkook angst#jeon jungkook scenarios#jungkook x reader#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook scenarios#jeon jungkook
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Thoughts on 11x06
I had to come back to type this after the episode. I was gonna wait to post until more people are active but everyone’s safety is more important than notes. This was really hard for me to watch. It took me two hours because I kept needing a break. It’s a tough one yall. It’s heartbreaking and really brought out issues I didn’t know I was still dealing with until I reacted so badly to some stuff. Take care of yourselves and I’m here if you need to talk. I’ll have timestamps for major tws in another post coming right after this. I just gotta go back and get the end of those scenes. I only go the time they started.
Okay. So. There’s some trigger warnings that I’ve reblogged earlier. This recap WILL have thoughts about those triggers. If you think you’ll be triggered just message me or send me an ask and I’ll give you the non triggering recap. Stay safe please.
Kev and v intro. They’re having sex behind the bar
I’m extremely nervous for some reason I might not be able to get through this
Bike heist!!
LICKEY RIGHTS
LIP CALLS HIM MICK
MISSION IMPISSIBLE
Mickey is unimpressed
Lip telling Mickey what to do yes please
Fucking Mickey omg
HE LOOKS SO GOOD
THE WAY HE SAYS BRAD
Again Mickey is unimpressed
Lip :(
MICKEY CONCERNED ABOUT LIPS SOBRIETY
AGAIN I SAY LICKEY RIGHTS
Frank is falling the chick he’s boning Monica
Not sure that’s her real name
Wait yeah it is
Frank??? Has to get to work???
Wait her name isn’t Monica
Oh shut now I get what’s happening
“Can I speak to Pope Francis please” LIAM 😭
Poor baby
Lip cooking breakfast. Hot.
I forgot about camis baby
I actually beep bad for lip and Tami
We already heard this argument with Mickey and Ian get new material writers
PRODIGAL THEIF
PINK BOX HES SO CUTE
HE LOOKS SO CUTE GOTTA SQUEEZE HIM PLS
Yeah don’t tell Carl that traitor
MICKEY BROUGHT DONUTS PLS
HES SO CUTE
ITS TOO MUCH
I LOVE HIM
HIS SMILE!!!!!!!!
GALLAGHER YOUTH
THAT MEANS MICKEY TOO BYE
CARL CALLING HIM MICK TOO PLS
I CANT TAKE IT
Poor Liam he’s terrified
“I was hoping the fucker would just die” :(
Shut up Debbie
Mickey is beautiful
Leave Mickey out of it debbie goddamn
I cant fucking stand her
Frank just observing his kids and smiling
Same frank
SHUT UP DEBBIE
OH MY GOD HIS LAUGH IS THIS WHAT YOU HEAR WHEN YOU FIRST GET TO HEAVEN????
“And the smartest” lol
Someone save Liam
“I want Sandy”
We all do kid
Fucking manipulative little I CANT STAND DEBBIE
Sandy deserves better
I hate the Milkovichs!!!!
How did smart sensitive sweet beautiful loving Mickey come from this disgusting family????
MICKEY IS THE BOSS
My heart hurts so him
“Homo sexy” dear god
Mickey is too good he deserves so much better
I love him so much
Let him be happy
Mickey has the biggest heart
They’re actually talking and not fighting
CHAPO STFU
You’re so funny and smart and beautiful don’t forget that baby
SUGAR TITS
And no one is fazed lmao
“He’s actually my uncle and my dad” I fucking hate this show
I forgot Carl makes legit money now
Wtf kinda school is this
This is so fucked up
The twins are so adorable
SHUT UP DEBBIE
“You guys” I hate that but also she’s acknowledging Mickey as “hers” and he’s family :(
Okay this horrifying comment
I hate that it’s just nonchalant
Debbie just keeps talking.
Let’s move on
Mickeys face when she says “butt naked”lmao
LIP CALLING HIM MICK AGAIN
“Talk to you for a minute?”
“Yes. Please”
I LOVE IT
Mickey is unimpressed by lip once again and I’m smiling
They love each other they’re secretly best friends ITS A FACT
HAND SHAKE SO CUTE
MY BABIES
“Blue like my balls” fucking frank lol
They’re going in on Frank’s storyline now
Boss Mickey at it again
Terry’s home
The way his face falls im sick
SANDY BABY
My heart is racing
Mickeys face is breaking my heart
Great now I’m crying
Mickey got emotional
Ian sensed it and touched his neck all fucking sweet
Okay I had to take a little break because I started crying
I love him too much
Fucking Noel is so damn good
My heart is fucking breaking
“Frank’s not a homophobic psychopath who tortured you for years”
Please Mickey deserves better
I don’t wanna hear any Ian slander either.
In this house we protect my son and my son in law I will fight you
“Let’s get the fuck outta here. Lip you coming?” 😭
That was so hard to watch yall. I’m not gonna lie to you. My parents weren’t half as shitty as terry but growing up feeling unloved your whole life fucks you up anyway and that brought out some emotions and feelings I didn’t realize I still dealt with. I had to pause for a good while and cry.
Leave Sandy alone debbie
Terry is disgusting
Okay the homophobic language he uses is definitely triggering so I’ll time stamp that too
Debbie you selfish bitch
Everyone leaving terry outside it’s a yes from me
I honestly can’t concentrate on the other scenes now I’m sorry y’all
I try to cover everyone’s scenes but it’s hard for me today
I’m not okay
Liam is too innocent poor kid
MICKEY LIP AND IAN THE BEST TRIO
We need more scenes
I PAUSED TO TYPE AND THE FUCKING LOOK HES GIVING HIM STOP
They’re besties
Mickey is beautiful
MY BABY BUSINESS BOSS MAN I LOVE YOU
he really hasn’t called him Philip the entire episode wtf
Ignoring Debbie
Now I want fries
Carl is cringy
Mickey drove them home and pulled a gun
Honestly again another heartbreaking scene
Ian’s trying to make him stop
Terry is disgusting and also a coward but we’ve been knew
Noel is the most amazing
Mickey gets teary but doesn’t cry bc I cried enough for the both of us
He’s the strongest bravest ever and I’m so proud of him
I need a hug
My heart hurts so much y’all
I just want him to be happy
I’m a fucking mess
I can’t handle Lip being emotional too
Oh I thought lip wanted to sell the house for himself only but at least they all get their share
Horrible music choice
I wanna tuck Mickey in with his favorite tv show on(911) make him his favorite food to eat in bed and not let anyone but Ian around him for a good 72 hours
The way Ian is looking at him
“Would you take care of me if I was paralyzed?”
“....yeah. Yeah”
“Top you whenever I wanted” “asshole”
His smile is back that’s all I need in life
MICKEY IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD
RIP DOWN THAT FLAG YES BABY
“That was big of you” “he’s an asshole...I wanna be better than that”
WHEN I TELL YALL I LOST IT I MEAN FULL ON SOBBING
YOURE ALREADY A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN THAT PIECE OF SHIT
YOURE SO KIND AND BRAVE AND BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT
Ian’s like “back of the head? Gotta grab and hold my boy”
“You are so much better than that” IAN MY SWEET SON IN LAW I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR LOVING OUR BOY SO WELL
IAN IS THE MOST SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND
V spitting truth
I want terry to fucking suffer
Don’t do it frank
“Nah” LMAO
Frank loves his son in law
Sandy I love you
I need to hold her
No debbie I LOVE HER
NO SANDY LOVE ME INSTEAD
DEBBIE DOESNT DESERVE YOU
Carl scene was so awful I feel so bad for him this girl is a fucking psycho
That was an actual rape scene what the fuck
Mickey making frank laugh
Debbie explaining? Really?
I hate her
“How long is this gonna take? I’m fucking starving Lip” WHY WONT YOU CALL HIM PHILIP
“We could get on with our lives” well that hurt more than it should’ve
It’s really the end soon huh? 😢
According to captions Ian says “we’re in”
Frank reads his diagnosis
Carl goes to report his rape
That took me nearly two hours to watch. Yeah I usually pause to type but I had to take long breaks after the hard scenes. It was a really hard episode to watch. A lot darker than it has been. I’m not really okay right now. It was emotional but a really good episode overall.
#tw: r*pe#tw: homophobia#tw: inc*st#weekly recap#weekly thoughts#mickey milkovich#ian gallagher#gallavich#shameless#shameless us#noel fisher#cameron monaghan#mickey gallagher#frank gallagher#lip gallagher#sandy milkovich#terry milkovich#liam gallagher#carl gallagher#Debbie Gallagher#shameless final season#shameless s11 ep6#11x06#shameless 11x06
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so basically my friend told me today about her dream she had that involved a demon and of course my mind went “...SAIOU AU”
here’s our convo so it makes sense:
if I had the motivation i would DEFINITELY write a fic about this- the fluff/crack/angst potential is t h e r e
and as a bonus doodle,
story is under the cut (it’s long)
“I was gonna keep this in tags but hsdf;j” is what I originally wrote here until I started thinking about this more and sorta wrote the whole plot-
-> as ouma’s killing the other monster things he flirts with shuuichi while the poor demon has never been flirted with so he’s stood there all confused and ??? (his version of blushing would be like, the fire coming from his small horns gets bigger and brighter)
-> the one he summons ends up being like. kaede and they both just end up having to lecture shuuichi on why it is that he should not want to die so easily
-> eventually kokichi and kaede wanna give him a hug so they try to but shuuichi’s Extra Hot™ (from being a demon and also probably blushing) so they both immediately regret that choice but kokichi laughs and gives an obligatory pun about shuuichi being hot which only confuses him because ‘of course im hot?? im a demon??’ while kaede explains what ouma meant
-> imagine shuuichi crying (fire tears..) at the generosity of these two strangers who a) aren’t absolutely terrified of him, b) refuse to hurt him and c) actually *want* to help him and ouma actually inwardly understanding a little bc he’d never imagine someone actually wanting to be with himself either
-> saihara now wanting to know what it’s like to live as a human with ouma and akamatsu but being unable to find a way (except for maybe being undercover?) but promising he’ll bring ouma back to him (he’s aware of the whole aging phenomenon in the lil demon world so he wants to keep their time short) and ouma finding that now he has something to look forward to
-> the 👏 mutual 👏 pining 👏 that commences after they both have to leave each other (if kaede knows kokichi in the real world she’d definitely tease him a little knowing he has a crush- this is probably good potential for building oumaede friendship)
-> it takes a while before ouma and saihara can see eachother again because getting the two to escape without killing saihara exerted a lot of energy on him, but they do get to! about once a month to be safe, and they get to know stuff about eachother like which shops ouma likes to steal from and shuuichi’s really loud demon friend he once had (aka momota)
-> one day though saihara tells ouma that if he keeps doing this he’ll die of exhaustion (it takes a lot of energy from saihara to get ouma in and out of there) and ouma calling him an idiot but really being worried. saihara tells him not to worry about him even if something happens to him, and makes ouma go back to the real world
-> ouma doesn’t hear from him after that
-> he worries he might have been killed or saihara forgot about him and feels stupid for being so hopeful in something so childishly impossible and starts trying to forget about him
-> the real world is aware of demons cause people talk about them (and obvs you can tell when someone’s gone to their.. dimension thing because you can visibly see them age) so still denying that he’s curious and likes saihara still, ouma tries to go to libraries and do his own research on demons and ends up finding out that saihara specifically comes from a bloodline that makes him quite powerful if not for that he wouldnt want to take the risks that come with it and then lowkey gets excited again for saihara while still in ✨denial ✨
-> it’s been almost a year when saihara has enough energy (and more) to ensure that his new plan is successfully carried out and that ouma (and potentially 1 more..) gets back to the real world safely. he created this plan when he figured out how to exist in the real world- by sacrificing the thing he cares most about
-> so when ouma suddenly gets that off-feeling people get when they’re leaving the real world he feels very many emotions at once (giddily going ”ohh my god its not this it cant be this no way oh heck tthisis not happening not a chance”) until he sees the face he’s been waiting 4 months for again except this time it looks.. frighteningly cold
-> ouma’s instincts are screaming at him that something is very, very wrong here especially when he can’t hear any warmth when saihara says “Welcome back, Ouma. It’s your final time” and explains the whole ‘kill these monsters then kill me’ thing again
-> ouma’s confusion inevitably turns to annoyance as he kills the dudes (there appears to be a lot more than there was last time) and fires questions at saihara (‘is this saihara?’ ‘what happened to you??’ ‘do you even remember me?’) while saihara stays silent for the whole time thinking about how he really doesn’t want to be doing this.
-> eventually ouma decides he was wrong (again) to have put his faith in a guy- a demon- he only met once a month.. even if said demon gave him something to look forward to
-> when he finally gets to saihara alone he internally notes that saihara cant look him in the eye, but he finally speaks to tell ouma that now either himself or ouma will now die (saihara knows this is for sake of the sacrifice, but he can’t let ouma know else it won’t work)
-> ouma refuses to fight him again, expecting saihara to snap back into the meek demon from a year and some months ago, but rather than that happening saihara actually says something like “if you won’t kill me, I’ll have to kill you” and swings at him
-> even if ouma was on his full guard, he still would’ve been surprised by how strong saihara actually could be when he tried to fight- and of course saihara can’t stop now that he’s started but ouma hears the hesitation when saihara asks “are you going to kill me yet?” and gets annoyed that the whole time he spent with him and even akamatsu meant nothing. saihara smiles sadly knowing he’s achieving his goal but ouma thinks he’s smiling at the thought of dying and gets somehow even more annoyed
-> during their whole fight, insert “I’m alone, Ouma, and I will always be” line from saihara, “No amount of talking can convince me otherwise, Ouma. I’m sorry it took so long, but it was foolish of you to trust a demon you met only once” or something and yes it hurts saihara too but ouma’s staying silent and before saihara can continue, ouma fires back with “You’re right- you are meant to be alone. You were always meant to be that kind of guy” and stops dodging to start finally attacking- this is when saihara knows he’s pretty much achieved his target: sacrificing ouma’s trust in him
-> just as ouma swipes at him, saihara’s lil spell thing is activated that takes saihara back to the real world, disguised so people don’t see him as a demon. but now ouma thinks he’s just killed saihara (I just attacked him. and he is gone. i dont know what that light was but i must have just killed him. oh my god im a murderer.”)
-> saihara hiding in the forest to do the lil spell thing again but on ouma (all the time he spent saving on energy was worth it) so ouma gets transported to the real world too and immediately runs to tell akamatsu everything that happened
-> saihara trying to find to blend in with humans from what he remembers of how they act but he doesnt need to particularly eat he just needs a heck ton of sleep so he basically just lives in the forest now. he’s very sensitive to water so he actively stays away from it too (it wont kill him but it does make him sick). he’s still feverishly warm but not scalding and he also decides to work at a store to fit in more
-> ouma regretting what he did to saihara even though saihara hurt him first and realising he misses him
-> saihara ends up accidentally bumping into him at the store he works at that ouma conveniently steals from a lot (”Ouma, you’d make a good demon” “Nishishi! What do you mean? I’m a perfect little angel!”) and saihara gasping when he notices ouma’s unforgettable purple hair and cute smile.
-> ouma finding something familiar about this awkward new staff with the cute face and deciding he’ll visit the shop more often to see this stranger and not because said stranger might help him get over his demon crush
-> then they get to know eachother again for the 2nd time, and as much as this guy is really cute, he clearly knows more than he’s letting on... so of course ouma’s gotta now pay even more attention to him. just so he knows what the guy’s hiding. not cause he wants to know him.
-> one day saihara is sick from trying to protect himself from the rain (cause yk, water bad) so he stays in the forest instead of coming in to focus his energy on getting better and also not blowing his cover. ouma notices he isnt there on that day and asks other staff members where he lives and they’re all like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
-> it rains quite a bit after that, inevitably making saihara even more sick and in turn needing time away to himself, so ouma starts getting worried when saihara stops coming to work
-> saihara really wants to see him though, so one day he tries to drag himself to work in a terrible state where he’s actually almost cold for once and collapses after trying to run to ouma. ouma sees him and tells his manager he cant work nd takes him home himself where saihara wakes up confused
-> ouma lecturing saihara because he worried him and the way he fell reminded him of.. someone (demon shuu).. then he asks vague questions to saihara about if he’s ever met a demon and half-confesses to having met one himself multiple times and ending up falling in love and then probably killing them
-> saihara, in his tired state, tells him his story of how he was raised to believe he had no purpose other than to meet someone who would kill him, eventually finding that person but instead of looking at him with fear or anger he looked at him with admiration and playfulness, how the guy meant to kill him refused to and flirted w him instead. ouma has probably clicked on by this point but saihara continues to tell him he wanted to protect that guy with the power he had so he took time away from his first ‘job’ to find out how to be with him. saihara is probably shaking at this point while he continues telling him about how he found out he had to sacrifice the most important thing to him, so he “went and had a terrible argument with him one day and i ran away. but i’ve never stopped looking for him since, he showed me that even a demon like me can fall in love” (there’s the ✨grand confession ✨)
-> ouma saw it coming from the moment saihara started speaking, but that didnt stop him from being utterly paralysed. of COURSE saihara has to say “When I said you’d make a good demon I really wasn’t lying. Your hand is so warm it could fool even me” which possibly makes ouma completely combust before absolutely bolting out the door and calling akamatsu to tell her to get to his house (”AKAMATSU-CHAN I’M GONNA DIE RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON’T GET HERE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT THIS SECOND”)
-> while waiting for kaede, shuuichi explains that he needs to be Warm™ and immediately holds kokichi’s hold again, while the other’s having a gay panic.. and he doesnt know how to feel because on one hand, his beloved demon is.. right here, in the ‘flesh’, holding his hand, telling him he fell in love with him.. but on the other hand, that doesnt excuse the confusion and hurt he put him through back then, not being able to see him for a whole damn year..
-> ouma ignores all the feelings when akamatsu arrives where she’s brought water and blankets (just in case- i feel like shes the kind of friend who would do that) so saihara takes the blankets and ouma takes the water and she calms them both down and gets them to explain everything slowly and in their own time. its awkward esp for ouma who isnt particularly close with her, but they manage it in the end
-> they decide shuuichi literally cant live in the forest so of course now he has to live with ouma but akamatsu offers to help if it ever gets too much for ouma which obviously ouma denies. she leaves soon and its just them but ouma needs some time to himself to clear his head and he only returns late to see saihara asleep clinging onto akamatsu’s blanket with his life lmao so ouma sighs and brings him more. and if he kisses the sleeping demon’s forehead, nobody has to know
-> ofc its still very much awkward and it takes ouma getting used to having even just another presence in his home, let alone his sort-of-unofficial-demon-bf and saihara’s still sleeping a lot of the time but recovering
-> they probably establish their feelings for eachother properly when they’re more mentally prepared for it, and then 👨❤️💋👨 (they kiss) and are now actually legally boyfriends. i absolutely cannot let this end in angst so they’re happy and love eachother now yay the end
nngl. i talked about this with that same friend and I lowkey want to start writing an actual fic for it now that ive written... literally the entire plot, but if i do that it probably wont be out for a while bc i take 10 years to write lmao-- plus i hardly ever finish what i start so uh yeah.. but hopefully! im not even good at writing fic this is just the plot but yello
#saiouma#oumasai#saiou#ouma kokichi#saihara shuichi#shuuichi saihara#shuichi saihara#kokichi ouma#saihara shuuichi#danganronpa#drv3#now i realise how dry i text when im listening to someone#BUT MY MIND WAS LIKE FULL OF IDEAS#I WISH I WASNT IN AN ARTBLOCK SO I COULD DRAW EVERYTHING I WANTED#im terrified all this that im writing will just accidentally get deleted and i dont trust drafts for some reason#bruh ive spent my entire day just writing this i wrote those other tags hours ago#ahwait-no-yes rambles#ahwait-no-yes can't draw#a lot of this probably sounds cconfusing but hskldj#all this cause of one dream holy damn#honestlyy i doubt ill write it. but i might try!#why am i nervous to post aa
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remember when I was gonna write that parkner fic?
cool so I've decided I'm gonna, but because I cannot write for SHIT and I hate my writing every time I see it, ill just share my outline of what I have so far. its not coherent. sorry.
Section one: aunt may dies. It’ll be like “it's been 3 months. 3 months since May was shot. 2 months and 3 weeks since she died.”
Something like that idc. Basically this section will base around peter living tony, because he’s not doing well, and he is only 17- which is not actually old enough to be on your own after something like this. Setting is established, with cameos from dr strange (who tony is dating and lives with (yeah bite me, this is my fanfiction i can make it what i want.) it will be made obvious that this takes place after endgame, which also means that tony is Not going to die. I’m not that mean lmao. The avengers are like largely together, there was not as much death in this as there was in endgame. Whatever. Everyone is very nice to peter because they know that for him its either this or him becoming a ward of the state so like.
Section two: harley gets kicked out. His mom finds out that he’s gay (from gossip sources idk) and kicks harley out. Im not going to write them having a big fight like in the moment, but harley will recount what happened somewhat to tony in this section, and then more to peter later in the story. Gay ppl trauma dump, we know this. Okay anywaysss so harley calls tony literally sobbing and like freezing fucking cold. IM SORRY IM BEING SO MEAN TO THEM I PROMISE THEY'LL GET A HAPPY ENDING. Okay. harley explains how his mom kicked him out. Tony asks why, harley says something like “she didn’t agree with my lifestyle choices” like bitterly. Tony is a good person in this (i know, im really taking some character liberties) and he’s in the mood for collecting strays apparently, so he has happy send over the quinjet. He can’t make it himself bc hes in fucking japan or something for the next few weeks,, but. Yeah! Tony also calls peter, who is presumably in bed and feeling depressed. “Hey pete. How ya feeling? Any better?’ ‘Not really, tony. Sorry.’ ‘you don’t have to be sorry-’ ‘damn tony you sound like my therapist.’ “sorry pete, but i do have something to tell you- you know harley?’ ‘only from what you’ve told me about him, but yea. He was the tennessee garage kid, right?’ ‘i mean. Yes. so- he’s gonna come stay with me for a while too- it might not be permanent but it will probably be a bit. He’s about your age, and he just has no where to go (just like u). He’s not going to stay in your room or anything, but with bruce and thor here, he will be in your apartment area.’ ‘okay tony.. Will i have to talk to him a bunch?’ ‘not if you don’t want to- i already warned him about you, so it should be okay. I wouldn’t worry so much pete- you guys are so similar in a lot of ways that i wanted to introduce you two long before he called me.’ ‘okay tony, i trust you. Thank you again for letting me stay with you :)’ (yeah that kind of got away from me)
Section 3: build up. this is a shorter section. Harley and peter are gonna meet in section 4. This section is harley’s jet ride (with an intuitive happy) and harley’s nerves about how he really isn’t worth this (i mean hes pretty intimidated tony sent a private jet just for him) and happy like reassures him. Hes still insecure though. Peter is also nervous bc what if harley doesn’t like him? What if he doesn’t like harley?? Tony did say they would get along, but peter hasn’t really been himself recently, so who knows? Yeah lots of that. I do want to emphasize though- peter is not completely unhealthily coping. Like he has a therapist and he has been reaching out to ned and mj, but its still an open wound for him. Obviously. He still has a sense of humor though, but its to cover these deep insecurities. Like the first month or so that he was with tony, he was reallllyyyy trying to not get close to him bc he sort of thinks he kills everyone around him. Like logically he knows this isn’t true, but he does really think the that non superheroes that he surrounds himself with are very at risk if they know about his spider-man-ness. The only people who know now are ned and mj (may knew too).
Section 4: the meeting of harley and peter. Keep in mind peter has been living in this apartment/area of stark tower for about 3 months now. He actually moved in while may was in the hospital because he couldn’t stand to be alone in the apartment when he knew why may wasn’t there. And um. Yeah. so peter is like comfortable in this space, basically. Also- the reason theyre in the same apartment is because stark tower was not really created with the idea of housing broken orphans in mind, so it only has a certain amount of residential space. Thor and bruce are currently staying there together (although no one really knows if theyre together, or if theyre just best bros who went through some extreme trauma together and are now inseparable. Hmmm wonder if thats gonna come up later) and theyre using one apartment, and happy lives there with his own apartment, and tony and stephen are currently sharing the penthouse, even though thats not public knowledge. Really only the people close to tony know that he’s dating stephen. So. this leaves just the one other 2 bedroom apartment for peter and harley. It has one bathroom, and the bedrooms are connected by a door but theyre pretty big so like. Theres a kitchen, a living room with a fancy ass tv, and a really pretty view (with a balcony bc <333). May died in march, peter got leave from the school in april, and it is now the middle of june btw. Tony is now peter’s official guardian (he was before may died anyways) and now has sole guardianship over him which he has fully accepted, even though peter and him both know that there are going to be times where he has to go out of town bc he does own a company after all. Times like right now. Harley is pretty nervous that tony isn’t going to be there to greet him and that he is going to have to like introduce himself to peter and everything. Cmon, theres no reason to feel like that, he’s the one intruding after all, he should at least be able to handle himself. (<--- harley’s thoughts). Yeah so theyre insecure super cool. A n y w a y s so peter was stressing about harley as he arrived, and so when harley walked in they were both complete bundles of nerves. Harley walks up but knocks. Peter actually jumps (bc spidey sense okay whatever) and goes to get the door. Oh my god these awkward teenagers i hate them so much (i love them). Peter kinda looks like shit, sorry king. He was a little bit crying earlier, then tony called and he switched into stressed out ball-of-anxiety mode. Distractions are good, its okay. Peter opens the door for harley and they like introduce each other all awkward (again sorry) and peter shows harley where he is staying. Harley doesnt really have muchhhh bc he was kicked out and all. He just has a suitcase full of clothes, his favorite blanket, his favorite stuffed animal (yeah whatever bc ofc he does) and his phone/charger. He sets all his stuff down at once. He thanks peter for letting him stay in his apartment and also said sorry. First thing peter noticed was harley’s accent. Stfu. peter asks why harley’s here- ok. Harleys had a long ass day. Too fucking long. He- he breaks down. He tells peter a lot. About how his mom found out that he was gay, and how she told him never to come back. Yikes. Anyways, this is establishing the beginning of their relationship as friends. Peter is there for him even though he doesn’t know him at all. Peter sees some of himself in harley in this moment, even though he’s not talking about himself yet. Eventually harley does ask about peter, and they really just get to know each other really quick. They have these deep scarring individual traumas, and neither has nearly recovered, but they find comfort in just knowing that theyre not alone in their suffering. At least for now. At least in this moment.
Section 5: the next day. Peter and harley spent that whole night talking about what they were going through. Peter said good night at around 5 am (there were no adults around they can do what they want to) and they both got good sleeps. In peter’s case, one of the first solid nights he’s had in a while. Harley was kept up a little longer after peter left, however, because he just couldn’t shut off his mind. It was really cathartic for him to just lay everything out there and for someone to just accept him. Peter told him he was bi, but he was.. Lucky. He had accepting people in his life. May was accepting. God, harley couldn’t fathom having lost everyone in his life, everyone he ever cared about, and still having the heart to sit and talk with the dumbass anxious gay kid who can’t go home anymore. His problems felt so small compared to peter’s, and all he could do was admire peter’s resilience and how he was seemingly able to bounce back from anything. God, peter was something. He couldn’t wait to get to know him more. With that thought circling in his head, he finally went to sleep at oh shit 6:30 am. Peter woke up around 1. Harley at 2. When harley woke up, peter was watching tv and eating cereal on the couch and he just sat down next to him. No words, just sleepy children being sleepy. They stayed like this for like an hour when someone knocked on their door. Enter stephen strange!!!!!!!!!!! Get excited people. Hes just coming in to check on them bc tony told him to, and he didn’t get the chance last night bc he was _busy_. K so now he’s here and hes awkward and he just wants to make sure these boys r okay bc theyve both been through too much recently, and it would be just the cherry on top if they didn’t get along. Him and harley had never actually met before so he like introduced himself and all that. Offered like if they needed anything he was there, and its only gonna be a few days until tony gets back (did i say a week earlier? Im retconning that bc i cannot find it in my writing so it is now retconned). Peter and harley just have to sort of explain to dr strange that theyre getting along gREAT and there is no need for concern….. And peter was even thinking about showing harley around the city a bit that night (something he had not yet told harley, but wanted to make it seem like he was doing well and not acting too depressed in front of Dr. Strange) so dr strange is like yeah !!!!!! do that, that sounds super fun petey !!!!!! and so now they have evening plans
ok ps I wrote this like 2 weeks ago and completely forgot I posted something on Tumblr about this fic idea, and so this is literally just how I talk to myself. was not gonna ever post this but then I decided to because I'm bored. there are more sections but I'm not gonna post them rn because this post is really fucking long already!!!!
#hope this is marketable??#sort of just wanted to share my 4 am writing tbh#it doesn't make sense just go w it#parkner#peter parker#harley keener
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7. Leshen Indruck your choice of rating!
Here you go! I went with SFW
It’s old wisdom that humans fear that which they do not understand.
Indrid really hoped he would never learn the truth of that wisdom the hard way, but here he is. One misplaced attempt at aiding someone using his foresight and he’s been caught, blindfolded, and dumped in the middle of the vast Monongahela Forest.
He just wanted to help.
His foresight renders him less fearful than he’d otherwise be; he’ll be able to see threats coming and locate the resources he needs. If he takes his time, he might be able to use his visions to locate the nearest (friendly) village. And, like anyone who grew up near the woods, he knows how to hunt, fish, and forage. For someone who’s been left to die, he’s rather confident.
Still, it sting a little.
After a few moments of rightfully-earned self-pity, he buttons up his coat and starts the slow, halting journey towards safety.
Two days later, he’s pushing his way through branches and miserably pointing out to himself again and again that a town where everyone grew up with basic forest survival skills would exile one of their own somewhere that required high-level survival skills.
The topography and scenery is so disorienting that he may have better luck if he covered his eyes, spun around ten times, and chose his path from there. It’s a dense landscape of deep greens and browns with splashes of bright color that he’d no doubt enjoy were he not constantly snagging on branches or catching his toes on roots.
Worse, he’s had no luck catching food, and cannot for the life of him locate water. The fact it rained last night is the only reason he’s not dangerously dehydrated.
A sharp, high chirp draws his eye to the foot of a tree. Flapping sparsely feathered wings, a baby bird hops through the mud, her nest visible but unreachable. A meager meal, but a meal nonetheless.
Indrid scoops her into his palms, clambers into the lowest crook of the tree, and sets her back among her siblings.
His stomach chastises him the rest of the day, though the rest of his body rejoices when he finds a hollow in the base of a tree large enough for him to shelter within. From within the trunk, he spies vine sprawling across the ground, berries glinting in the light rain. Deep purple, meaning they’re Brambleberries.
The handful he shoves into his mouth brings tears to his eyes, even though they’re not the ripest. How else do you explain the bitterness chasing the sweetness down his throat.
Wait. Brambleberries don’t go purple until mid-summer. This is early spring. Which means those were-
“Chokeberries.” He curses himself, darting outside the tree once more, finger down his throat until his meal comes back up. Maybe he was fast enough.
His throat tightens in a prelude to closing. Sinking to his knees, gasping for air, he swears the ground vibrates with heavy steps. His eyes flutter close as he falls forward. As darkness slips over his eyes, he thinks it’s taking him a long time to hit the ground.
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Bitter metal on his tongue.
“Nnnnf” Eyes still shut, he pushes at whatever is holding the spoon and it’s vile contents in his mouth.
“None of that. You’re gonna need two more doses of this before that Chokeberry is outta your system, and they were hard enough to get into you when you were passed out. Swallow.”
He swallows.
A large hand pats his head, “There we go. I know, shit’s gross, but if you were fool enough to eat those berries, might stun some sense into you.”
Indrid sits up, rubbing his eyes, “I was delirious with hunger, forgive me for not remembering the exact seasons of fruits. Did you heal me only to insult me or-” his visions flicker back full force, revealing his host before he opens his eyes. He scrambles back, but instead of a wall or an edge he just finds a vast expanse of bed.
Watching him with an amused set to his lips is a man three heads taller and much bulkier than Indrid, dark hair streaked with grey-green moss, eyes the dark green of pine needles, and nails like treebark. He crosses arms tattooed with green, gold, and bronze swirls, waiting for Indrid to collect himself.
“A Leshen.”
“Yep.”
“Are...are you going to eat me?”
“What? No, I’m not gonna fuckin eat you. I don’t know which of my kind chowed down on humans but if I ever find out I’m gonna give ‘im a piece of my mind. Ain’t great to have people thinkin I’m a man-eater when the worst I done is throw a tree at someone.”
“That is still very alarming.”
The Leshen shrugs “I’m a forest guardian; I’m gonna guard.”
Indrid studies him, wary, drawing the covers up his chest without noticing.
“Look” the Leshen sighs, “I ain’t tryin to scare you. Hell, made myself the smallest I can so I could be all comfortin. Noticed you in the woods earlier today and kept an eye on you, since humans-”
“Don’t often come here, yes, I am aware. I was extremely, forcibly exiled into your part of the woods.”
Green eyes blink, “Huh. Well, point is it didn’t seem right to leave you there to die, so I brought you here. Chokeberry is real easy to undo, assumin you got the right herbs.”
“Thank you.” He doesn’t know what else to say. His foresight tells him the Leshens promise of no harm is true, but there are so many timelines for what he could say and how his host could respond that he freezes.
“You’re welcome. You got a name?”
“Indrid.”
“You oughta rest up more, Indrid. I’ll be back with the next dose in a bit.” His host steps out to the hall.
“Wait, do I, ah, get to know your name?”
“Duck.”
He snickers, replies to the raised eyebrow with, “Apologies, I expected something tree-related.”
Duck smiles, “It’s a nickname.”
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“What’s your plan?” Duck asks from across the breakfast table. The morning found Indrid well enough to walk and to eat without feeling ill, so he’s been perching awkwardly on a chair that’s too big for him as the Leshen makes plates of toast and eggs that don't come from any bird Indrid is familiar with.
“I, ah, I don’t really have one other than ‘avoid going home’.”
“You were just gonna wander around until you found a village? I hate to tell you this, but there ain’t one for at least fifty miles, and I’m guessin that’s the one you came from. They must’ve used and enter to navigate here, because this part of the woods is hostile to travel by design.”
“Yours?” Indrid sips his tea, face to hide his distaste for its bitterness.
“Yep.” Duck slides a jar over to him, it’s copper lid revealing sugar cubes within, “Don’t much feel like runnin into humans every damn day, and it means that even as y’all sprawl out more and more, there are parts of this wood that stay wild.”
“I appreciate the sentiment, but it does little to improve my situation. Unless…” he bites his lip.
“Unless?”
“Unless I could stay here. I’m not bad company, and I have some skills which could-”
“No” Duck shakes his head, “savin you is one thing, takin you on as a roommate is all whole other kettle of fish.”
“Ah. Right. Of course.” He sips his tea, reflection crestfallen. Maybe he’ll just finish this and then go back to sleep.
Duck sighs, expression one of someone who already regrets the offer he’s about to make, “You can stay here for a month. After that, I’ll get you as close to a safe village as I can, and you’re on your own. Deal?”
Indrid grins, appetite returning in full, “Deal.”
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Duck has a good guess as to what’s making all the scratching and clanging in his kitchen, but it’s still a surprise to see Indrid moving from counters to chairs doubling as stools to tend a pot that he can barely peer into.
The human’s gotten nimble over the last week and a half, thanks to his routine attempts to help Duck around the house. Everything is scaled to Duck’s smallest possible form, but that still leaves Indrid at a disadvantage.
He’d be more inclined to help him if it wasn’t so obvious that his help is a ploy to convince Duck to let him stay. Look, he feels bad for the guy, but humans don’t have a great track record with his kind and he generally likes his peace and quiet out in the woods. He also notices that, left to his own devices, Indrid is messy. The area around the couch he uses as a bed is strewn drawings and unfolded clothes that Duck conjured up. Which means this is about Ducks favor, not a commitment to household cleanliness.
That’s not to say having Indrid around has been unpleasant; the human is good company but also understands Ducks' need for space. He’s odd, and even though the foresight was the given reason, Duck suspects his fellow villagers would have found reason to exile him regardless. Indrid even said that living with Duck was the happiest he’d felt in some time. That wasn’t a ploy; Indrid is prone to saying unnerving statements without registering them. Thorns pricked Duck’s heart when he heard it and, that night, when Indrid fell asleep on the bed during their conversation about deer, he didn’t move him. Just brushed the white hair from his eyes and laid down a respectful distance away.
“Oh! We’re in the timeline when you’re early.” Indrid waves distractedly as he wrestles open a jar, “I checked on you during the day through my visions and it looked as though you got drenched, so I thought something warm was in order.”
He’s smiling, and Duck’s gaze lingers long enough to see there’s no trickery in it. Yeah, being a forest spirit means storms are refreshing more than freezing, but the one today was so relentless he felt like it was eroding him away.
“Thanks, Indrid. I’ll join you in a sec.”
The next morning, before he leaves he forms some nearby stumps into a proper step-stool, and transmogrifies the minerals of the earth into a solid set of human sized pots and pans.
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“I know you’re there, Duck. I may not have eyes in the trees, but I do have visions that tell me when someone is dithering about coming to speak with me.” Indrid smiles, checking the fishing pole he’s dug into the shore. He feels rather than hears Duck approach; in spite of his size, the Leshen moves through the woods more softly than a butterfly.
“Guess those visions do make you harder to spy on than the average human.”
“A not at all creepy statement.” Indrid teases, then tips over when Duck playfully shoves him.
“Shit, sorry.”
“It’s alright” he brushes off his arm, “the sand is nice and warm.” He picks up his sketchbook (stray pieces of paper sewn together) and pens (Duck turned flowers, fruit, leaves, and wood into them until Indrid had every color) and continues drawing. Half the reason he likes fishing is that he can draw futures (and for his own pleasure) while he does it. The other half is that he doesn’t want Duck to view him as a parasite in his home. Yes, for the first week, he did everything he could to demonstrate that he would make an excellent addition to the house made of twisting trunks and mossy floors.
Now, though, he just wants to enjoy his time with Duck, even if that means not tidying constantly or cooking every meal. He hopes Duck enjoys it too, regardless of whether he lets Indrid stay. The Leshen is lonely, even if it only comes through on those days when his voice is like the wind through a weather-beaten log. Indrid wishes he knew how to assuage it, but a month is not long enough to learn such things.
He’s slept in Duck’s bed these last three nights. It’s not purposeful, Duck is just so interesting to talk with and Indrid will lose sight of the time, will slump sideways and mumble that he ought to turn in, and then wake up in the early hours atop his host. It didn’t occur to him until this morning that Duck does that to keep Indrid from being uncomfortably squashed by his larger bedmate. And that Duck chooses to do that rather than carry Indrid to his own bed.
“Hey, uh, ‘Drid?” Duck’s voice brings him back to the riverside, “would you, uh, wanna come with me on my rounds sometimes? Might be some nice things to draw, and that foresight of yours could be real helpful with some of the stuff I need to keep an eye on.”
His host looks nervous until Indrid nods, “I would be honored.”
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Never has the folding of clothes made him so miserable. Yet still he tucks the garments into the large-but-manageable rucksack Duck gave him, placing his sketchpad safely between the layers of fabric.
“Weather oughta be good tomorrow.” His visions show Duck behind him, rubbing the back of his neck. He’s going to miss that voice, the way leaves rustle underneath the drawl.
“That’s good.” He pulls the ties on his rucksack, sets at the end of the couch but doesn’t turn around.
“I’d, uh, say you’re welcome to visit but, uh, well, you know how fuckin hard this place is to find.”
“Mmmm.” Indrid wants him to go, wants him to be brusque or happy, not awkwardly fond in a way that gives false hope of shared affection.
“‘Drid there’s, there’s somethin I wanna, that is I’m thinkin...aw, fuck it.”
Indrid yelps as arms nearly as big around as he is scoop him up. Duck’s lifted him to examine flowers or see over trees, but the hugging is new.
“Duck?” Carefully, he drapes his arms over his shoulders.
“Don’t go.”
“I don’t want to.” Duck always smells faintly of pine needles and green wood, and Indrid buries his face in his neck, inhaling in hopes of remembering it forever.
“Then stay. I changed my mind, ‘Drid, life is so much better with you around.”
“Okay” Indrid can’t get his voice above a whisper; this wasn’t in the timelines, which means Duck changed his mind at the literal last moment.
“Really? You wanna stay?” Duck shifts him back, Indrid functionally sitting on his forearm with his legs half wrapped around his chest.
The seer summons his courage, finds it lacking, and so closes his eyes before going in for a kiss. His lips find Duck’s cheek until a firm hand cups the back of his head, guiding their mouths together. At this size, their mouths are compatible even as Indrid remains pleasantly dwarfed. Duck breaks the kiss first but Indrid, hell-bent on making up for lost time, continues kissing his face until they’re both laughing.
Duck kisses his forehead, “I’m gonna take that as a yes.”
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okay so i finished love, victor a while ago and i saw some other reviews and thoughts about it here so now i've got a pretty good list on my thoughts and feelings.
tl;dr: it has some issues, yes, but im gonna hold out and hope it gets better later on because the same thing happened with the first few eps, i wasn't that into it but then it got good, and nothing is ever great with the first season, because at that point we're getting used to those characters.
⚠️caution: spoilers ahead (im on mobile, i cant get an under-the-cut)⚠️
1. while a leah on the offbeat movie would have been amazing movie sequel (even tho i havent read the book yet, im just here for the wlw content) i am kind of glad we got this instead. mostly because I've seen book series where one movie was good, so they decide to do the rest, turn out bad (hunger games? divergent? percy jackson? the hobbit?) because so much was cut from the book-to-first movie writing, that other scenes wouldn't make sense to future movies if they had those in while cutting others. however, i am sad that i didn't get to make the choice of deciding whether what was cut was wrong etc. about future movies, but i'll take what i can get.
2. LGBTQ+ POC as a lead! that's amazing! as a ace/bi lantina that's close to home (it also is great that victor's from texas and so is ya gorl) and even then it's a mixed latinx family! i think pilar mentioned that at least the grandmother left Colombia and i saw the Puerto Rican flag in victor's room. also the salazar's are definitely from small town texas, even without knowing the name. (church barbeques, the use of the words "such a diverse city" in regards to atlanta)
3. a lack of actual lgbtq+ main storylines (so far) is kind of sad for a show like this. i was getting serious bi/pan vibes (as a lot of other people) from victor from the beginning, and when it was implied that victor was actually gay (while great, not shaming) as it has been brought to my attention, there was a lot of looking at a lot of straight relationship problems (please let us know more about benji)- edit 6/18: upon further consideration, it very much is a show about questioning your sexuality, I'm speaking about the other straight relationship issues, not mia and Victor's, its just the first season.
4. let us talk about cheating for a sec. never okay, in any circumstance. i feel sorry for mia that she saw victor making out with benji and the fact that he was doing any of that in the first place. victor made a choice to lie about the espresso machine and then kissed benji at the hotel and then when benji was fighting with derek, basically confessed his love and mistakes, then proceeded to makeout with benji after he broke up with derek, he built that grave and now he must lie in it. i get having feelings for a guy when you are in a relationship with a girl, and not accepting yourself enough to end that relationship but you really want it to work so you can be "normal". really, he should have told mia after he got back from the trip tho. i get being in highschool and doing stupid stuff and making dumb decisions, but for a show aimed at teens i think we should also remind said teens to make good choices even if we have to lose some realism within the character choices.
4. pilar and her decisions based off her brother pissed me off. because i honestly think that if she'd kept her mouth shut about what she knew or confronted victor about it in the first place we could have avoided a LOT of mess. did she not learn from snooping around her mother's business about her relationships that going behind a person's back doesnt end well? i did, however, like the pilar/felix friendship and was really kind of hoping that they'd get together during their coffee hangout (although now im glad that didn't happen) because they had a deeper understanding of each other. same with wendy/felix, although they do seem to much alike to work out in the long run but i still feel bad for wendy.
5. i don't know how i feel about lake and andrew, as people separate from each other. both seem to be the way they are from their upbringing (not confirmed why andrew is such an ass, but if his comment about his dad is anything to go by i bet it's got something to do with attention) but andrew seems to be less, idk, superficial? like he turned down mia because he didn't want to be a rebound, he didn't out victor, he actually stood up to early teasing the other dudes in the lockerroom were doing at victor (with teasing of his own obviously but that interaction had him on my nice list until much later). lake? lake. i honestly don't have an opinion of her? not really. i mean after hanging out with pilar i was hoping felix wouldn't go back to lake. is her name laken? i feel like her full name is laken. but they also played the "im only like this because my mom is really superficial about stuff and i do like the geeky nice guy but appearances" to "actually screw the norms im gonna makeout with him infront of the whole student body". i honestly thought she was gonna be bi because she kept hitting on mia when she was helping set up for her "date" and "big night" and there was one point where i saw her face fall at something mia said in relation to her and idk i was hoping she'd be bi (i figured early on that victor/mia wasnt gonna work and was like "oh mia/lake would be cute" but now idk.
6. okay on to the "big night", i have one word. NO. i didn't like the peer pressure into having sex. i agreed with felix when he said "your body your choice" but im also disappointed that victor made out with mia and when lake was talking to felix after victor left he didn't try to stand up for victor.
7. on to age gaps because i hadn't really thought of this at first. we'll start with benji/derek: WHAT GRADE IS BENJI?! because that determines my thoughts. if he's a sophomore that meant that he and Derek started dating benji's freshman year and thats eugh, don't do that, don't care if its a gay couple that shouldn't be happening because the maturity of the two characters is DRASTICALLY different (this is also a reason i am not a fan of cmbyn) but that would explain why they were so rocky. hoping the event at the gay bar was open to anyone not just for drinking, but not liking that fact that not one of the adults with victor were like: hey, this is a 16 year old, that's kind of wack when that dude was hitting on victor. that made me question some stuff. although i figure it might be making up for the lack of a gay bar scene in love, simon. but even then, in svthsa it's a restaurant with a bar that some people go to just to drink at, it wasn't just a bar, simon could be there but should NOT have accepted drinks from college kids, not matter how attractive.
8. i loved how bram and simon and their friends helped victor out though. i like how bram was like: hey i know my friends are a lot so here's a gay basketball league becaue there's no one way to be gay. i like how Simon talked about needing help himself just to help victor and how he said his friends were cool with it because it's a community. i like of justin(?) mentioned how being what his parents wanted was putting on a mask and pretending, not him doing drag. my favorite lines from that ep are: "and before you ask my pronouns are they/them/theirs" "'they're all gay? even that guy? he's like [insert really tall number]' 'yeah. you should see him in heels'" "or in simon's case: really unathletic" "and also because bram said that if i wore [the jean jacket] one more time he'd burn it". also katya was there. and the group hug too!
9. the back hand homophobia in relation to family is sad, but realistic and i sincerely hope his parents are kind enough not to be too harsh on victor because of it. anything they say that isn't positive or supportive of victor is bad but i hope they realize that there is more to him than that and that they can come to terms with it because it's not always that hard to be a part of that community and super religious. i am biromantic and catholic. and while there are some things i wont agree on my mom with, i know that it's more of a strike against God for kicking out gay kids from families than it is to be gay, because those parents were given trust by GOD to love those kids no matter what, and be good parents. so in the end, the parents are wrong and harmful and in the case of christians against jesus's teachings to love everyone.
10. this is fan speculation but dont think simon/bram are going through a rough patch? i honestly think it'd be a little cruel to the characters to have on of their actors be producing but then not have that relationship stay. and while it's not set in stone and obviously things happen in the real world, we have no proof script wise about there being a rift. all we have are bad photoshopped ig photos and scenes where two characters are never standing next to each other probably beccaue schedules never link up correctly for minor characters. who knows, maybe nick robinson was filming for a movie where is does have an even more major role than victor's gay guru in a series about victor so his filming time was around that. im gonna keep hope that things are okay.
11. that being said: we need more mainstream wlw content, because someone said it earlier and it really does seem to be catering to straight girls. i'll admit i did freak out when benji played call me maybe which is something i associated with him and victor but then kissed a guy because who wouldn't? we get that serenade and sweetness and then it'a ripped from us. but i did mellow out. if i flipped later it was because victor was making dumb decisions and i had to give myself a moment of compsure before i continued.
in the end, i'd say that there is a lot of growth this series needs to go through, but i also know that some people just aren't going to like it and i get that. but i also know that sometimes the best of stories have rocky starts, nothing is ever perfect from the beginning. and besides, further seasons are on hold until we figure out this covid thing, which means that you bet they're gonna be looking at our feedback. they saw what we thought before, they can do it again
i really did like it but we need more ACTUAL lgbtq+ relationship stuff from this series and better decisions on what we are teaching the younger generations, as well as what we want to focus on and realism within characters. i'm giving it an 8/10, because there is always room for growth and i really hope we get better things out of this than what we have been given in season 2.
edit: someone mentioned it really seeming like it was meant for Disney+ and i felt that. also to anyone who reaches the tags agter reading ALL OF THIS: i am sorry
#love victor spoilers#love victor#love simon#simon vs the homosapiens agenda#leah on the offbeat#simon spier#bram greenfeld#victor salazar#felix weston#jas rambles#i have opinions#and i am very tired#just like in general#like my current state of being#although i am tired of straight being constantly shoved down the thoughts of lgbtq+ people#and like the state of the world because people are bigoted a-holes#but like#it's nice that they upped the airing because they didn't want to conlfict with juneteenth#although now im questioning motives on why#was is out of support? or the want if making money#who knows#i sure dont#i hoped there aren't too many grammatical errors
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