#and i was dealing with an identity/gender crisis
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Im going to be so serious here I think november-december 2022 was literally one of the lowest periods of my life
#because like#it was around the time where my 'best friend' of 8 years techincally left me for other people#and i was dealing with an identity/gender crisis#AND the only people I had to talk to me were people on pinterest#like im not joking I went through my old idea pins today#and so many of them were just talking abt whatever came to my mind and stuff like#'i need help' or 'im going mental'#I think that was kind of a joking thing at the time but looking back it wasnt a 100% slash j#PLUS i was staying at my moms friends house at that time and i had NOTHING to do and really nobody to talk to#im a lot better now#but yeah#was this a vent?? my bad#closet rambles again on tumblr
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hm. i feel like I'm not unhinged enough for the past few days. here's my old-but-reworked omegaverse headcanon tier list.
#re zero#i actually was gonna look for my queer headcanon tier list but then i realised I'm bored. so.#putting my omegaverse scholar glasses on#firstly“pretends” doesnt really apply to crusch and felix. they are destroying these secondary genders with hammers i can tell you that muc#todd is an omega. fear about your Secret Identity being discovered.... classic omega archetype.#that adds to the conflict with subaru#also. subaru. raised in a shadow of his perfect alpha dad. riddled with complexes as a result.#similar deal with heinkel i think.#vincent as an asexual alpha......#emilia's alpha identity is scrutinized and stigmatized by society because satella also was an alpha#julius is the most beautiful beta subaru has ever seen. really out here slaying these stereotypes left and right#reinhard is a perfect alpha with a duty to continue the blood line of sword saints#regulus is deeply self-conscious about being an omega. stopping all bodily processes? seems very convenient#i actually haven't thought about what would their smells be like yet. hm. my mistake.#i think subaru would smell like a wet asphalt or gasoline or something else from earth and everybody would be like hey what a fuck is that#rem hates the smell of gasoline 😔😔😔#emiilia smells like frost. easy. traumatising.#julius smells like old books... or maybe steel#reinhard has a divine protection of perfect smell... every person who smells him smells their favourite scent#meanwhile reinhard adds that to his already long list with reasons for identity crisis#regulus probably smells like vanilla lmao
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Y’all I tried to steal a character’s gender but instead they just consumed me instead and is putting me in a chokehold and will be stuck with me forever. I’m not complaining at all.
#nonbinary#gender crisis#gender euphoria#gender identity#you’ll never believe who it is#you prob know#idk this post is so random I have no excuse#yep it Aziraphale#he/they#2024 just started and I dealing with gender crisis lmao one way to start this year#phantomramble#lgbtqia#aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh
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man I really would love to see an (explicitly) religious companion on Doctor Who. esp one who's written in such a way as makes their faith relevant to the storylines and challenges and tests it but ultimately remains respectful and keeps the theme of it relevant within the specific science fiction setting that Doctor Who occupies. I personally just think that would be great.
#:) can't wait to see what kind of reaction this one provokes :)#also btw I know that Yaz is Muslim. I was actually kind of excited when the show officially confirmed that bc I was hoping it would#dig into themes of faith surrounding her and how she as a person of faith is dealing with her experiences in the TARDIS#learning all this new knowledge that's supposedly outside the realm of her worldview and having to figure out how to incorporate#these new perspectives into her relationship with her faith#would've been absolutely thrilled to see that happen at all in literally any capacity. and then it absolutely completely Did Not.#her faith was mentioned like... what. once??? in a passing reference about racism/Islamophobia#which of course are relevant themes of course! but they were brought up exactly once. and then permanently left there.#and yes I do have to say that Thirteen's era actually revolved quite heavily around themes of faith and religion. and it treated religion#in general much better than any previous era of Who really has!! I'm appreciative for that.#but I would really enjoy not having to dig so much. I'd love to see the explorations of faith be as tied into a character as#the explorations of identity were tied to Bill's sexuality and the Master/Missy's gender change and moral crisis were in s10#anyway! :) have fun with this one. I will delete it if people start being weird and dumb in the notes.#gurt says stuff#doctor who#religon#faith#storytelling#science-fiction#(totally ok to reblog and add comments on btw. 'being weird and dumb' does not mean interacting with this in a genuinely#conversational and good-faith sort of way at all)
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Ruh roh..
#j talks#this is some personal / self image talk fyi so. proceed with caution i guess#anyways had the realization that i just.#don't actually take selfies anymore...#which idk. isn't that big of a deal but. then i was like. huh#maybe my self image issues are manifesting before my eyes oops#anyways. i need to cut my hair. i've needed to cut it for a long time but i told myself i couldn't until [redacted]#it'll get done in the next month...i hope.#i hate. being a person sometimes#also i have so much acne scarring....i've trying doing stuff for it and like. my acne in general is a LOT better but#it really does bother me and it sucks :/#anyways i have to go back to telling myself i'm hot and fix my self esteem i guess#also have been having a gender identity crisis again but i think its just. that me vs the world feeling y'know#wow sleepy brain j go off i guess
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AHHH THANK YOU FOR YOUR TAGS ABT THE DOODLE I MADE!!!! I use they or he interchangeably but u can do w/e u want lol.
OF COURSE, THANK YOU AGAIN, IT MADE ME SUPER HAPPY TO SEE!!!! :D You deserve the appreciation! ^^ You definitely opened my eyes to all the possibilities, hehe. I think he/they Beta is a very based take :D
#ask tag#forgetmenautical#i was feeling he/it but i was also getting HUGE he/they vibes so i'm glad i'm not the only one who sees the nonbinary transmasc swag hehe ^#in any case#i think it would be v interesting to explore beta's gender journey bc i don't think they have really experienced the social aspect of gende#having been born in the odyssey and raised with very little social interaction#and growing up believing his life purpose was only to restore gaia#i think it would've been very easy for him to see himself as a tool and see no point in exploring his identity beyond being a lis clone#so even though he does know about gender he has never really had to think about his own#and it's only after the whole zenith drama is done and after beta starts adapting to life on earth that gender comes into the equation#and they become Keenly Aware of how people perceive them not just as aloy's sister but... as a sister in the first place#and i would love to see beta working through their trauma and STILL feeling a different kind of disconnect from aloy and lis#something that they can't put their finger on.#and them having to deal with the initial panic and the crisis as they're still comparing themselves to aloy and lis and the self doubt#and the eventual relief that comes with finding answers and finally feeling comfortable with his own identity. you know?#aloy calling beta sister for the first time is OUT aloy calling beta brother for the first time is IN.#oh man. someone should get in on this and write this fic. <- remembers i literally write fic#ANYWAYS sorry for writing a whole essay in the tags lol but you gave me the beta brainrot so :)#yeah. he's just sitting there. w the baggy clothes and the shrimp pose and trauma and their admiration for varl. ASKING to be projected on#beta my beloved :')
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How can anyone even figure out their gender/sexuality with all the outward and pervasive transphobia, misogyny, transmisogyny, homophobia, lesbophobia, etc. Etc. Etc. That the world throws at everyone 24/7?
Why do I feel like "I can't possibly be __"? Is that from internal or external forces? For people who figure it out for themselves, is the feeling that they Are stronger than anything negative from society at large?
It's all a big mess. I don't feel like much of anything. Maybe I feel like "figuring it out" would bring far more pain than I am currently able to handle.
#Gender Crisis Sunday i guess#(i welcome comments from ppl who have had to deal with identity things about their experiences btw)#personable
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Nobody:
Me: Hi! I was wondering, can I just borrow you sexuality real quick? Thank you, biiiiiiiiiii
Somebody help……….
#someone help#identity crisis#the only reason I am doing this is because I had a sudden gender crisis and I can’t deal with both of them right now
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Steve and Eddie totally made out at a party once. They just didn't know it was with each other. It was at a party and it was dark. The older teens were hanging out, drinking at Steve's when Robin asked the question.
"Best kiss of your life, go!" Robin exclaimed.
"Nancy," Jonathan admitted, but his eyes slid briefly over to Argyle.
"Jonathan," Nancy and Argyle said at the same time. Nancy looked over at Jonathan.
"We were high," Jonathan said.
"It was at Tommy's party. It was dark. I don't know her name, but man, could she kiss. She had this soft curly hair. I couldn't see her face, though," Steve said. "Wish I knew who it was. Best kiss of my damn life."
"You know what's odd. I know exactly what party you're talking about because I had my first kiss there, too. It was in the kitchen, in that little nook. This guy really knew how to kiss. It was fucking dark so I couldn't see anything but I felt like he had great hair," Eddie said.
"Yeah, that's where we kissed. In that nook. Man, we must have just missed each other," Steve laughed.
"Unless. . .," Robin trailed off.
"What?" Steve and Eddie asked.
"Steve, did you happen to get to second base with this girl?" Robin asked.
"Yeah, why?" Steve asked.
"Did she have boobs?" She asked.
"No. It was weird. I asked her what happened to her boobs and she just giggled," Steve said.
"Oh my God!" Eddie exclaimed in realization. "When the guy I was kissing asked me that, I thought he was just being funny! That was you! You were my first kiss!"
"Oh. . .hmm, I guess so," Steve said. "Still the best kiss of my life."
"Even though it was with a guy?" Robin asked.
"Yeah, I still liked it," he said. "Huh, I guess I don't care what gender they are. I just like kissing. I wonder if sex is the same way. Hey, what's that word you told me about Robin? You know, where you can like both?"
"Uh. . .bisexual?" Robin asked.
"Yes, maybe I'm bisexual," Steve said, snapping his fingers cheerfully.
"Did you just have a sexual identity crisis without panicking?" Robin asked.
"Yeah, it's no big deal, right?" Steve asked.
Meanwhile, Eddie was watching the whole thing with a strange expression on his face, and then his face relaxed into a smirk.
"Best kiss of your damn life, huh? Do you mind if I try to one up myself?" Eddie asked.
"Not at all," Steve smiled.
Argyle cheered, and wolf whistled as Eddie crawled into Steve’s lap to kiss him.
"Get it, my man!" Argyle exclaimed.
#stranger things#eddie munson#joseph quinn#stranger things s4#eddie stranger things#eddie munson lives#steve harrington#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#steddie ficlet#steddie fanfiction#steddie first kiss#argyle is the best#argyle supports everyone in everything they do#i love him#i just want to squish his face
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𝐆𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐒𝐢𝐱.
ᴍᴀɪɴ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ʀᴇᴄᴏᴍ ᴄᴏʟᴏɴᴇʟ ᴍɪʟᴇꜱ Qᴜᴀʀɪᴛᴄʜ x ʀᴇᴄᴏᴍ ᴍᴀᴊᴏʀ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ꜰᴇᴍ. ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: Y/N, a military prodigy, raised and trained in the Marine Corps, opens her eyes to a new life as a Recombinant. Her purpose is one and one only; being General Frances Ardmore’s right hand in taming the frontier in order to set up humanity’s future home on Pandora, including eliminating resisting natives. There’s only one problem; Y/N’s predecessor has never been on Pandora. Despite this challenge, Y/N seems to face a bigger issue. She’s surrounded by incompetent idiots. The biggest idiot in question seems to be someone among her own ranks. Miles Quaritch. Even with his rank as a Colonel, Quaritch still manages to screw up his biggest mission, ruining Y/N’s and Ardmore’s hard work in the process. With it being her job, Y/N has to find a way to go about this incompetent asshole, including dealing with his unchecked attitude, inability to successfully complete a single mission, impulsive decisions and his absolute lack of professionalism. Miles on the other hand wishes this damn woman would just die. She suddenly appeared one day, charmed Ardmore, got promoted to Major General, and now she thinks she can steal all the authority he had on base, run her rude ass mouth, give him shit about every single mission and boss him around like he’s her personal bitch? Who the fuck does she think she is? They both thought the natives would be their biggest enemies, but with each other among their own ranks, they’re starting to change their minds.
ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴛᴀɢꜱ & ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: minors DNI, enemies to lovers, dark themes, warfare, guns, typical military violence, heavy sexual activity (smut), forced neural bond (tsaheylu), identity crisis, death, injuries, PTSD, etc.
ᴀᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ:
This is an enemies to lovers fic.
Y/N and Miles are both comfortable with engaging in sexual activities with the same gender.
Kind of a slow burn.
There are a lot of OCs because I needed more Marines and RDA personnel.
The male Na’vi in this fic have sheath folds because you cannot tell me those fuckers have their cocks out and their crotches are still flatter than my kitchen table.
For chapters with smut, dark themes or heavy triggers I will add warnings.
Recom logo header and dividers are mine, please credit if you use them.
This work is also on AO3, under the username: @nesaluvstherecoms
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐰. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝.
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐: 𝐙𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑: 𝐄𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐬
✮ ᴜɴɪᴛ ᴀʟᴘʜᴀ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴀᴛᴀ ꜱʜᴇᴇᴛ ✮
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒: 𝐒𝐒𝐃𝐃
𝐼𝓃 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓈…
#avatar the way of water#atwow fanfiction#atwow#miles quaritch#miles quaritch smut#miles quaritch x reader#miles quaritch x y/n#atwow recoms#avatar recoms#recom smut#recoms#recom lyle wainfleet#corporal lyle wainfleet#avatar rda#avatar#avatar fanfiction#recoms x reader#smut
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I’m currently reading superbat fics (sorry, destiel, stony and dinluke, I’ll get back to you some day) and I’m having great time with commenting and authors replying to me. It’s a whole new fandom experience when I can read fics just for personal enjoyment, without planning fic rec lists. So much easier to comment, wtf. Anyways, I’m following 4 superbat identity p*rn fics right now, and it’s glorious. What a feast. My favorite trope, so many interesting ways to explore it. Happy holidays to all superbat writers but especially those 4 WIP writers🎄
ETA - here be some recs
ETA, March 2024 - HERE BE SOME UPDATES!
@pinkb00bsocks asked about those 4 WIPs. Here they are! The usual disclaimer - there are plenty of excellent superbat WIPs going on right now, but I've limited spoons and these are the ones I currently enjoy.
The World and All Its Hedgehogs by Ginevra_Benci [M. 8,007 word count, WIP, 4/?] To investigate illegal arms sale taking place at a tropical resort hotel, Batman goes under cover as a vacuous billionaire Brucie Wayne and Superman takes a part time job as a porter. They didn't coordinate this, they don't know each others civilian identities. Every time they talk there are at least 3 different conversations going on and it is glorious. Also, so much lust. ;)
(Also, check out Interviewing & Counceling series by the same author. Clark is having a superhero identity crisis and Bruce is there to catch Clark gently as he spirals down. It has one of the softest identity reveals in superbat fics. ETA - the series is now complete, it has 5 parts and 18k word count. Awesome ending to the softest identity reveal story)
Watching Our Stars Align by ClarkeStetler [M, 28,840 word count, WIP, 7/14] There's a dating/chatting app only for superheroes and all identities are secret. What could go wrong? Bruce and Clark get matched under their new pseuds, and same happens to Tim Drake and Conner Kent. Now fathers and sons gotta navigate complicated relationships that come with secret identities and judging your coworkers hastily while talking heart to heart to anonymous superhero. The identity porn part happens through DM, which just happens to be another favorite trope of mine. [The story is going strong, it has 10/14 chapters now and a wonderful tangle of 3 secret identities!]
(Love) Triangles Have Multiple Centers by frozenpotions [T, 27,281 word count, WIP, 4/10] This fic wastes no time getting playboy billionaire Brucie Wayne and pining-after-his-coworker journalist Clark Kent together. After that, first time uneasy partners Batman and Superman gotta solve a case and their civilian selves gotta deal with the realities of their one night stand. Complicated doesn't even cover it! [The fic is being updated and Clark and Bruce are being put through new trials, 6/10 chapters]
A Favor for a Friend by RedFive [Explicit, 18,286 word count, WIP, 4/7] Omega verse fic with alpha playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne and omega journalist Clark Kent. I'm fascinated by dominant, flirtatious, sexually ravenous alpha Brucie Wayne who moonlights as a stoic, covered in scent blockers thus unclear second gender, Batman. Meanwhile omega Clark, due to being Kryptonian, is much less ruled by his second gender. That is, until he meets Mr. Wayne. This fic has so much lust and tension between the two. Does accidental heat triggering counts as a soulmate mark? I'm gonna count it like that. [The fic has entered the finish line, only a chapter or two are left to finish this wild, explosive, life changing story of two people who were meant for each other. 8/? chapters, 44k word count] The fic is now complete!!! 9 chapters, 56,153 word count. (Also, there's this new TV show about two gay dudes, and istg, they look like Bruce and Clark from this fic. I'm not naming it here because I don't want to highjack the show tag with superbat post, but go and check the tag on tumblr)
*****
And a special shout out to two identity shenanigan WIPs that are not actively updating but are absolute must reads.
ship-to-ship combat by pomeloquat [M, 62,737 word count, WIP, 12/13] OK, so, for me personally, this is the ultimate identity p*rn fic across all fandoms I've read so far. This fic has one of the highest amount of secret identity pairs in superbat fics. There's the usual pining silently Batman/Superman, then there's Clark dating Bruce, Superman saving Bruce Wayne from peril, Clark Kent chatting with Batman. And the cherry on top is Clark writing Bruceman fanfic which is basically a RPF of his two friends, Batman and Bruce Wayne. Which leads to an internet friendship with a fellow fan, who is, you guessed, Bruce. This fic has great reflections on fandom and shipping culture. But the very beating heart of this fic is about how easy it is to lose something you wished to have but were afraid to ask for. The fic, at 12/13, is technically a WIP, but the main reveal is already done, and it is glorious. ETA - THIS IS NOT A DRILL, the fic is finished and the last chapter is a super meta cherry on a top of delicious, layered superhero identity and fandom shenanigans parfait. 13 chapters, 76,7k word count.
10 Things Every Brucie Fan Needs in Their Life by pomeloquat [T, 8,956 word count, WIP, 5/10] The main premise of this fic is hilarious and yet so, so right. Bruce Wayne is promoting himself as a nation's boyfriend instead of a playboy, and is making bank out of his wholesome, PG rated merchandise. The chapters of this fic tell continuous story but they also can be read as separate vignettes, so there's really no cliffhanger. This fic is so soft and fluffy, it will heal your soul. Also, Superman has celebrity crush on Bruce Wayne. Batman is amused.
#flyingcatstiel has thoughts#I’m doing small superbat reblog spree tonight#just to get everything out of my drafts#superbat#identity p*rn#identity shenanigans#superbat fic recs#i already added these to the reblog#but eh#let's ad them here as well#add#i worked hard on them#sometimes i forget how to tumblr#fic rec of the day
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Okay guys, you've convinced me lol, here's the gist of the Kim/Porsche idea!
The Kittisawats are a rival mafia family led by Porsche
When Kim is ~18, instead of running away to college, he sells himself to Porsche to be his sex slave. It's surprisingly wholesome.
This happens bc Kim discovers Tawan's being sketchy. Kinn doesn't believe him, so Kim tries to find more evidence, only to learn Korn is also involved (not directly, but he makes it very easy for Tawan to find secrets to sell, and be the snake he is). Kinn doesn't believe Kim about this either, but now he's angry bc Kim is trying to tear down Tawan and their father, while he's blinded by love and respect for both.
So Kim runs straight to Porsche
The conditions for his deal: Porsche gets Kim and everything he knows, as long as Porsche protects him from his father, swears not to hurt Kinn, and takes care of Tawan. Kim just wants to keep his family safe. But he knows he's just become a traitor, and his father won't let that stand. So. He's stuck with the Kittisawats. (It's not a hardship. He's honestly treated so much better by Porsche, feels more free as his slave than his father's son, and isn't that fucked up.)
At this point, Porsche isn't sleeping with men yet. There's some interest but no follow through. But Kim is offering himself up, so like. That's what he's supposed to do, right?? That seems like the thing to do. Because Kim's his sex slave now. So they should have sex.
Neither of them have any idea what they're doing. Kim's being heavily influenced by Vegas' psychotic stories of his sex pets, so that's what he expects from Porsche, and that's the role he's trying to fill. Porsche is just going along for the ride.
(It ends up angsty later bc neither of them actually want this. Or, they don't want it like this.)
Porsche does think Kim is very pretty, which leads to some... interesting situations. Some dubcon gender. Kim is going to play the part of his beautiful demure mistress because he feels like he has to. And it's easier this way, separating himself from the situation by playing this role, changing every aspect of himself down to his voice. (Until he has an identity crisis and a breakdown about it.)
This actually becomes a central part of the fic, but I don't want to spoil the surprise.
After Kim's break down, they start over, establish some boundaries and expectations. Once Kim gets comfortable enough to feel safe with Porsche, and his place under Porsche's power, he becomes an absolute gremlin. Porsche loves it, he's so fun, he's such a little shit.
Another central part of this fic is that Kim has OCD and slight agoraphobia. The agoraphobia comes after he betrays his father, it's a gradual onset. First he's just in hiding, but then Porsche starts trying to make him go out more. He's heard stories about Kim's eldest brother who never leaves the tower, he doesn't want Kim to end up like that. But Kim resists him at every turn, until it's just. Natural for him not to leave. (Chay will later get him outside, but not for a while.)
The OCD has always been there. But Korn isn't exactly a beacon of mental healthy support, so Kim has no idea what it is. All he knows is that he's Odd, that there are certain rituals he has to perform or else he feels like he's going to die, or someone else is, and he's usually punished for it. I don't want to get into all of them here but !!! I've spent the past few days coming up with self-soothing rituals for Kim and they are so good. It's not the usual generic habits like ~clean freak~ or ~counting things~, they're connected to his specific traumas, and they are so. excellent. they make me so happy.
So yeah! There you go! It starts out almost like an arranged marriage trope, Kim sells himself to Porsche, they eventually relax around each other, and they become excellent friends (who fuck, but don't fall in love). Kim uses family secrets to help Porsche get a leg up on his father. Porsche eventually helps mend Kim's broken relationship with Kinn (DubCon brother bonding).
Oh! And while Porsche isn't particularly kinky in this story, Kim is, so Porsche has to learn how to be a good dom for him. Once again the way that happens is very angsty, but it turns out great for them! Kim just needs someone to put him in subspace and leave him there for a while, get him out of his head. It's as close to therapy as he's likely to get.
#cookie writes#kimporsche#i cannot stress this neough#they remain platonic the whole time#Kim does eventually end up with Chay#and Porsche with Kinn#these two are just fuck buddies lol
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as an ftm butch lesbian transsexual who lived as a gay ftm for like 11 yrs until last year when i met my current partner and had a HUGE gender/sexuality crisis... my identity was so painful to finally acknowledge and try to understand. i literally hid under my desk and cried most nights for like three months. people are so cruel to us, even in our own community, so i wanted to tell you you aren't alone in facing weird aggression from other people. most of them are insecure and not dealing with dysphoria well; i promise we are fearfully and wonderfully made and a beautiful part of this community for centuries. also i am obsessed with your blog
too st*ned at the moment to answer this properly but love you comrade trans dykes 4evr
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comfort from a demon - beelzebub
summary; being a demon was more of a mental struggle than you expected. you can feel your humanity chip away as you continue to live in the past.
genre/extra tags; slight hurt comfort, fluff, cuddling is the form of comfort fr fr, nightbringer! mc, demon! mc, this is just a silly goofy concept, mc can't catch a break, reader is referred to as mc
word count; 641
warnings; mc gets vertigo, describing dizziness in semi detail, identity crisis(?)
[gender neutral mc]
a/n; i love beel sm :((( he's so,,, hhh i lvoev him :( also i did not read a single thing abt what happened in chapter 80 in obey me og, so uh,, call this canon divergence ig, im in my song looping phase rn. kind of losing my mind bc nothing seems to be hittin. anyways, wrote this at like 3-4am. also something abt writing vertigo made me feel it for a min,,, wild. also i swear i wrote more wtf
you haven't been here for long but you can feel yourself molding to this new form. your mentality is a little less human as the day goes by.
it's been very odd knowing that you're a demon now. you can suddenly understand how to summon beings with ease, read curses, read blessings, and it's just a fraction of what this body seemed capable of.
it was stressful. living your life as a human and suddenly having to be something you're not. you're the "attendant" of the brothers but in another timeline, you're their human roommate that they cherish the most.
they're not really mean in this timeline, which is nice but they are slowing succumbing to the respective sins. and they have to deal with finally accepting that they're no longer angels.
and once again you have to play unpaid therapist while you have your own struggles to deal with.
you can feel yourself slipping away. your head in a constant ache as you think about the past the brothers had to deal with, the way you need to come back, the way you need to regain the trust of the brothers, and the way you need to keep this "attendant" persona of yours until there's a way back to the present.
so here you are sitting in the kitchen, elbows resting on the table and your hand pressed on your temples. it's the dead of night, the world is quiet. it's some of the few bits of silence you needed.
your body aches, your breath is heavy while your head rests on the counter. everything feels dizzy. you can't think right.
"mc? are you asleep?" beel's voice rings gently in your ears. he's gentle as his hand rests on your shoulder. "you shouldn't sleep here, it's not very healthy to sleep sitting like that..." his voice is laced with concern, moving your arms to help him get a better look at you.
but you're adamant and very dizzy still. your body jerks, tugging your arm away from his hold. you can't help but cough, you feel like throwing up as if you were too drunk. but nothing comes out thankfully. "are you okay?" he's moving to the other side where your head is facing away from him. he carefully kneels down to face you properly to check if you were going pale. "i don't want to leave you out here if you're not okay."
you take in a breath only to cough, your body shaking. "not..." you try to speak but fail and shake your head gently to answer his question.
"is it okay if i carry you? i'll take care of you." his stomach is growling but he's too focused on you to care. you swallow your choking feeling back and nod softly. beel is more than extremely careful while he guides your arms to wrap around his neck. he doesn't make any sudden movements to worsen your dizziness. "have you been taking care of yourself?" his voice is softer than usual, laced with concern and curiosity. he hasn't been in devildom for long so he's just as lost as you are on demons and how they deal with illnesses.
you don't answer, head still spinning as you rest your head on his shoulder. your silence speaks volumes to him. he doesn't say anything. you eventually reach the shared bedroom of beel and belphie. it felt like forever to get there with how the world felt like it was spinning faster to you. everything felt too fast yet too slow.
"i'm sorry i can't do much." he frowned. he placed you down on the bed, covering you with a blanket. "but i will help you if you need it. i like you when you're caring for yourself and happy, mc." your heart warms at beel's whisper of a declaration.
no matter the timeline, beel seems to care for you all the same.
"thank you."
#obey me beel x reader#obey me shall we date#obey me swd#obey me fluff#obey me x reader#obey me beelzebub#beelzebub x mc#beelzebub x reader#obey me beelzebub x reader
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Why representation is important- a rant
So, as a kid, I constantly felt off. People would tell me that my name was "pretty" and it felt weird to me. I was put off by being called "daughter" or "little girl" or "princess" but I never could figure out why. My mom called me her little tomboy and that's what I assumed I was- a tomboy. I liked dressing up for important events (like picking up my brother from the airport), but that was it.
Getting older, but not by much, I started hating how I looked and felt. I cut my hair really short, much to the dismay of my mother. When I went to school the next day, people in class called me a boy- and I didn't see anything wrong or offensive about it.
It was sixth grade when I learned. This kid I barely tolerated, and only because we had been friends since kindergarten, told me they were pansexual and genderfluid. I asked them what they were talking about, and they opened up this whole world. I did so much research, and at first, I said I was a straight ally.
As I did more research, I began identifying as pansexual. I had noticed my attractions and started identifying accordingly- but something still bothered me. I thought this new identity would fix everything, yet it fixed nothing.
As I explored my attraction, I tried out different sexual and romantic labels, not quite grasping at the concept. It took me a while to say "hey, maybe its my gender" and exploring I went.
I tried demigirl, she/they, but that didn't feel right at all. I still hated my name, the word girl, and the pronouns she. I changed my name, started identifying as demigender, and used they/them. It felt better, but still not right. I simply could not figure it out.
I was extremely frustrated and dealing with things in my personal life. I was just so upset that I could not seem to find out my own goddamn gender. My friends all seemed so sure that they knew what they were that I felt like I couldn't trouble them with this.
I decided to begin going by he/they and identifying as a demiboy. It felt better, but still not right. I began to ask if I may be genderfluid or something, but being called a girl just never felt right to me. It was then I realized that I may just be a guy. Used he/him and it felt great, but surprise surprise, the name I came up with because of a meme wasn't doing it for me. It didn't feel as bad as my deadname, but still not right.
It wasn't until one night, I was up late texting my friend, when they said I looked like a Jonathan. I laughed it off and didn't really say anything about it until later. The name flooded my mind and I really wanted to be called it, so I hopped onto Stardew Valley and changed my character's name to Jonathan. Walking around and being called Jonathan just felt extremely right to me, so that's what I started putting everywhere.
Now, of course, while this gender crisis was going on, there was still the issue of my sexuality. It went from pansexual to lesbian to bisexual to abrosexual and just all over the place. For a while, I identified as omni, but that didn't fit quite right either, but neither did just "gay". So, I decided that, hey, sexuality is fluid and confusing, so I'll just say I'm queer.
It was only after coming out that I was recommended shows and books with LGBTQ+ content. The one show I did watch that had it, Steven Universe, was so subtle at the time that I didn't understand it until later. However, if I had known about shows like Dead End Paranormal Park, The Owl House, ect., figuring out all this stuff may have been so much easier.
So if you think these shows will turn your kid gay, please look past your prejudice. Everyone should question their identity at some point- whether it sticks or not doesn't matter. What does matter is that your kid feels comfortable in their own skin and doesn't have to spend their childhoods hating themself for feeling weird or wrong.
So yes, representation is important.
#long post#LGBTQ+#gay#lesbian#pansexual#omnisexual#bisexual#abrosexual#queer#demigirl#demigender#demiboy#genderfluid#transgender#representation matters#stardew valley#steven universe#the owl house#dead end paranormal park#rant
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Hello Hello! I hope your day is going great and you’re having a great Valentine’s Day if it’s already the 14th where you are! I’m new to the blog, so I’m excited to see what content you have!^_^
Would it be possible for me to request a Jouno x reader where the reader is Tecchou’s twin? Like they have the same eating habits, same triangles below their eyes, basically identical when there isn’t a crisis/mission, but the reader has logic close to Dazai’s level when work does come up
Reader during a meeting: (glances at Tecchou and sweatdrops) *how are we related…?* they say as if they weren’t drinking coffee and soy sauce five minutes earlier
Feel free to ignore the request. It’s your blog, you write what you find inspiration from and make sure you’re taking care of yourself!
Author's Note: Hello I know it has been a while since I posted something original but life has been a lot and I wasn't able to get around to do or finish some of these until now but I'm here now and I will be updating my rules for requests as well as who you can request with some characters from other fandoms. Also thanks for the request!
Jouno x Reader
Request or Not
Pronouns: Gender Neutral
Warnings?: None
--------------------------------------------------
HCS:
- Well this is fun...
- So as Tecchou's twin looking the same and having similar habits is only natural
- Although no one anticipated the extent of how similar you two would be when you and Tecchou first first joined the Hunting Dogs
- It was like you guys were the clone of each other
- Now Jouno already is constantly annoyed by Tecchou
- Imagine having to deal with double?
- His worst nightmare honestly
- Which begs the question of what is the difference?
-What sets you apart from Tecchou that caught Jouno's eye?
- The answer is...
- Missions
- Unlike Tecchou who sticks to his aloof personality no matter what
- Your logic seems to skyrocket during important meetings and missions
- Which makes you the strategist and the main problem solver in most important meetings and missions
- Which also makes you question how you Tecchou are related sometimes...
- As if you didn't drink coffee with soy sauce and strawberries with shichimi spice right before the meeting started
- This spike in logic during meetings/missions is what peaked Jouno's interest and what made him want to get to know you more
- After a while of getting to know each other the both of you started developing feelings for each other
- and boom confession happens and relationship officially starts
- Interesting and unexpected to the rest of your colleagues but accepted nonetheless
- You both weren't exactly open about it so they found out on their own
- Tecchou was fine with it when he found out like...
- "Congratulations on your relationship [Name]."
- "Thanks Tecchou."
- But as soon as he talks to Jouno...
- "Break their heart and there will be consequences." Tecchou threatened
- "Tecchou please..." You sighed
- "Relax I don't intend on it." Jouno said unphased
- Jouno tries to encourage that you eat things that aren't color coordinated because he is somewhat concerned
- While you don't stop eating color coordinated things you do eat some things that aren't color coordinated much to Jouno's relief
Oneshot:
You and Jouno were walking back to base after a mission of information gathering. Thanks to your plan the target who you gathered intel from didn't suspect that they were playing into your hands. Meanwhile Jouno was scanning the perimeter to make sure your conversation with the target went smoothly.
"I feel like eating something."
"Sure what would you like, my treat."
"Curry and strawberries with shichimi spice."
"You're going to eat something that isn't color coordinated?" Jouno sounded a little surprised
"I like the curry you got me the other day besides I'm still eating strawberries with shichimi spice so there isn't that much of a difference."
"I know but it's just surprising. Was the curry really that good?"
"I thought so."
"Well then let's stop by to eat at the same restaurant then. After all I don't believe there is any need to rush."
"Right then, it's settled."
You both went to the restaurant, ordered, and ate your food. Having a nice conversation you were both now walking back to base.
"I should try to convince Tecchou to try the curry sometime." You said thinking out loud
"Good luck with that."
"I honestly don't know how we're related sometimes." You sighed
"As if you don't drink coffee with soy sauce every day or sit down and watch ants for hours." Jouno said with a laugh
"Ants are a perfect model of leadership and loyalty, there is a lot I can learn from observing their behavior." You stated matter-of-factly
"Right, right, I remember."
"Wanna watch a movie after work?"
"Sure, my place sound ok?" Jouno asked
"Yes sounds perfect."
#bsd x reader#male reader#gender neutral reader#jouno x reader#bungou stray dogs jouno#jouno fluff#female reader
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