I’m currently reading superbat fics (sorry, destiel, stony and dinluke, I’ll get back to you some day) and I’m having great time with commenting and authors replying to me. It’s a whole new fandom experience when I can read fics just for personal enjoyment, without planning fic rec lists. So much easier to comment, wtf. Anyways, I’m following 4 superbat identity p*rn fics right now, and it’s glorious. What a feast. My favorite trope, so many interesting ways to explore it. Happy holidays to all superbat writers but especially those 4 WIP writers🎄
ETA - here be some recs
ETA, March 2024 - HERE BE SOME UPDATES!
@pinkb00bsocks asked about those 4 WIPs. Here they are! The usual disclaimer - there are plenty of excellent superbat WIPs going on right now, but I've limited spoons and these are the ones I currently enjoy.
The World and All Its Hedgehogs by Ginevra_Benci [M. 8,007 word count, WIP, 4/?] To investigate illegal arms sale taking place at a tropical resort hotel, Batman goes under cover as a vacuous billionaire Brucie Wayne and Superman takes a part time job as a porter. They didn't coordinate this, they don't know each others civilian identities. Every time they talk there are at least 3 different conversations going on and it is glorious. Also, so much lust. ;)
(Also, check out Interviewing & Counceling series by the same author. Clark is having a superhero identity crisis and Bruce is there to catch Clark gently as he spirals down. It has one of the softest identity reveals in superbat fics. ETA - the series is now complete, it has 5 parts and 18k word count. Awesome ending to the softest identity reveal story)
Watching Our Stars Align by ClarkeStetler [M, 28,840 word count, WIP, 7/14] There's a dating/chatting app only for superheroes and all identities are secret. What could go wrong? Bruce and Clark get matched under their new pseuds, and same happens to Tim Drake and Conner Kent. Now fathers and sons gotta navigate complicated relationships that come with secret identities and judging your coworkers hastily while talking heart to heart to anonymous superhero. The identity porn part happens through DM, which just happens to be another favorite trope of mine. [The story is going strong, it has 10/14 chapters now and a wonderful tangle of 3 secret identities!]
(Love) Triangles Have Multiple Centers by frozenpotions [T, 27,281 word count, WIP, 4/10] This fic wastes no time getting playboy billionaire Brucie Wayne and pining-after-his-coworker journalist Clark Kent together. After that, first time uneasy partners Batman and Superman gotta solve a case and their civilian selves gotta deal with the realities of their one night stand. Complicated doesn't even cover it! [The fic is being updated and Clark and Bruce are being put through new trials, 6/10 chapters]
A Favor for a Friend by RedFive [Explicit, 18,286 word count, WIP, 4/7] Omega verse fic with alpha playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne and omega journalist Clark Kent. I'm fascinated by dominant, flirtatious, sexually ravenous alpha Brucie Wayne who moonlights as a stoic, covered in scent blockers thus unclear second gender, Batman. Meanwhile omega Clark, due to being Kryptonian, is much less ruled by his second gender. That is, until he meets Mr. Wayne. This fic has so much lust and tension between the two. Does accidental heat triggering counts as a soulmate mark? I'm gonna count it like that. [The fic has entered the finish line, only a chapter or two are left to finish this wild, explosive, life changing story of two people who were meant for each other. 8/? chapters, 44k word count] The fic is now complete!!! 9 chapters, 56,153 word count. (Also, there's this new TV show about two gay dudes, and istg, they look like Bruce and Clark from this fic. I'm not naming it here because I don't want to highjack the show tag with superbat post, but go and check the tag on tumblr)
*****
And a special shout out to two identity shenanigan WIPs that are not actively updating but are absolute must reads.
ship-to-ship combat by pomeloquat [M, 62,737 word count, WIP, 12/13] OK, so, for me personally, this is the ultimate identity p*rn fic across all fandoms I've read so far. This fic has one of the highest amount of secret identity pairs in superbat fics. There's the usual pining silently Batman/Superman, then there's Clark dating Bruce, Superman saving Bruce Wayne from peril, Clark Kent chatting with Batman. And the cherry on top is Clark writing Bruceman fanfic which is basically a RPF of his two friends, Batman and Bruce Wayne. Which leads to an internet friendship with a fellow fan, who is, you guessed, Bruce. This fic has great reflections on fandom and shipping culture. But the very beating heart of this fic is about how easy it is to lose something you wished to have but were afraid to ask for. The fic, at 12/13, is technically a WIP, but the main reveal is already done, and it is glorious. ETA - THIS IS NOT A DRILL, the fic is finished and the last chapter is a super meta cherry on a top of delicious, layered superhero identity and fandom shenanigans parfait. 13 chapters, 76,7k word count.
10 Things Every Brucie Fan Needs in Their Life by pomeloquat [T, 8,956 word count, WIP, 5/10] The main premise of this fic is hilarious and yet so, so right. Bruce Wayne is promoting himself as a nation's boyfriend instead of a playboy, and is making bank out of his wholesome, PG rated merchandise. The chapters of this fic tell continuous story but they also can be read as separate vignettes, so there's really no cliffhanger. This fic is so soft and fluffy, it will heal your soul. Also, Superman has celebrity crush on Bruce Wayne. Batman is amused.
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a list of timestamps, for no reason :)
thesis statement : No, what blue did tonight and what red did the last two nights are not the same.
disclaimer: this is not a judgement of right / wrong, this is a glorified compare and contrast paper.
a TL;DR is available at the top, immediately following the keep reading link (which i hope, for your sake, is still there).
for each vod i have compiled the time stamps first, and then under the heading "notably" have compiled and compared them.
this is the most toxic i will allow myself to be.
TL;DR:
Blue team on Day 4 took 2 seconds from first task claimed to last. Red team on Day 2 took 5 minutes 14 seconds from first task claimed to last, and on Day 3 took 42 seconds.
Blue team on Day 4 was vulnerable in the area for 2 seconds before claiming their last task. Red team on Day 2 was vulnerable in the area for 8 minutes 31 seconds, and on Day 3 was vulnerable for 12 minutes 10 seconds.
The time blue team spent getting situated before logging out in global is not counted in this as being vulnerable because it is not a viable strategy for an entertainer to waste 4 hours of their limited time camping global to ensure no one is logging out.
Red team claimed their first global task on Day 3 with 13 minutes until the server closed. On Day 4, Etoiles and Roier arrived to stop blue team from applying the same strategy with 15 minutes until the server closed.
Blue team's actions on Day 4 did not leave them open to any reasonable retaliation efforts once Tubbo logged out. The moment he logged back in, the tasks were as good as complete. Unless another content creator metagamed, they would not be able to stop him.
Red team's actions on Day 2 and Day 3 did leave them open to retaliation. They were not fast, they often did not have the items they needed crafted in advance and spent time in sight of the global task dome crafting the items. If a team had been waiting for them to try this at the global task dome as Etoiles and Roier did for Blue team, that team could entirely have succeeded in killing them or ruining their plans.
The global tasks on Day 4 were already functionally blue's 4 hours before they were claimed. Even if the disaster hadn't affected global, the way it was supposed to, the only thing left would have been revenge. There was no preventing it once Tubbo logged out.
The global tasks on Day 2 were open to reclamation for an hour after red team claimed them. By Day 3 blue team was aware of red's strategy and had a full 12 minutes (at a predictable time! see below) in which they could have attacked red and stopped them.
What blue and red team did was not the same.
Below are the time stamps I used to get this data and draw these conclusions. I've included links to vods for verification purposes. These links are not future proofed.
November 7th, 2023: Day 4 of Purgatory
TubboLIVE's VOD:
1:47:20 : Tubbo logs out of the server, behind the blue "contracts" NPC. He has 15 minutes 32 seconds of server time remaining.
5:50:23 : It is 3:48:52 am in Tubbo's time zone. Tubbo shows the clock on his screen. There are 11 minutes and 8 seconds until the server closes.
5:50:49 : Tubbo loads in, behind the blue "contracts" NPC. It is 3:49:41 am. This is the first moment the game is visible on his screen. He has 15 minutes 03 seconds of server time remaining.
5:50:50 : Tubbo claims the first of the global tasks.
5:50:51 : Tubbo claims the last of the global tasks. It is 3:49:43 am.
Notably:
Functionally, tubbo was standing behind the blue NPC, invincible, for 4 hours 3 minutes and 3 seconds
There is a 29 second period of server time that I can't account for.
The total time it took for tubbo to claim every global task after loading in is 2 seconds.
The cooldown for every global task before it can be reclaimed is 10 minutes. In this case these ten minutes started at 3:49:42 and 3:49:43 am. The first moment any of these claimed global tasks can be reclaimed is 3:59:42 am, with 18 seconds until the server closes.
Etoiles's VOD:
4:56:08 : With some leniency, this is the first clear view of the blue "contracts" NPC and the spot Tubbo is "standing" shown on Etoiles's stream.
*(the blue NPC comes into view at 4:56:06 but whether Etoiles would have seen Tubbo there is dubious enough that I have opted for a later time stamp)
4:56:12 : Etoiles and Roier enter the global task dome. They are standing directly to the left of the red NPC; on the opposite side as the blue NPC. The spot Tubbo is "standing" is clearly visible on Etoiles's stream. Etoiles has 10 minutes 40 seconds of server time remaining. There are roughly 15 minutes and 30 seconds until the server closes*.
*(Time calculated roughly using Tubbo's log in message; this is not exact)
4:56:17 : Roier is standing in front of the blue "contracts" NPC.
4:58:03 : Without leaving global spawn, Etoiles disconnects to get a buffer on his time limit. Remembering that there is a disaster coming, he immediately re-logs to avoid the combat logging penalty. Roier does not disconnect during this time.
4:58:18 : The first frame of the game is visible after Etoiles relogs. Etoiles has 8 minutes 53 seconds of server time remaining.
4:58:45 : The quicksand disaster starts, affecting global spawn despite admins having informed Etoiles previously that disasters did not affect global spawn.
5:00:08 : The disaster ends.
5:01:17 : Tubbo logs in. There are roughly 10 minutes 11 seconds until the server closes.
Notably:
Roier is standing three blocks away from Tubbo's log-in point (effectively, three blocks away from Tubbo) at 5 minutes before Tubbo logs in.
Were Tubbo logged in, waiting physically at spawn, Etoiles and Roier would have been able to initiate combat 5 minutes and 5 seconds earlier. Both had plenty of time on their server counters to participate in this combat, albeit Etoiles would have been kicked before server close. Roier would not be (source: Slime's vod, 2:45:05 and on. There is no disconnect message for Roier before the server is closed at roughly 2:45:08).
Were Tubbo logged in, waiting physically at spawn when Etoiles and Roier arrived (at roughly 3:44:37 am in Tubbo's time zone, 15 minutes and 23 seconds before the server closed), and had claimed all global missions at that time rather than risk dying in combat, the missions would have been able to be reclaimed at roughly 3:54:37 am, with about 5 minutes and 23 seconds before the server closed. This is 5 minutes and 5 seconds more than the actual time.
November 5th, 2023 : Day 2 of Purgatory
This is the first day red has used this strategy.
Cellbit's VOD:
6:52:27 : Cellbit arrives at the plaza outside the global task dome (Carre is already here; he wasn't streaming so I don't know when he arrived).
6:52:49 : Cellbit enters the global task dome. He backtracks to the right of the global task dome, and sets up a crafting area to craft items for the tasks somewhat out of sight of the dome. He is 96 meters away from the dome.
6:55:34 : Cellbit re-enters the global task dome.
6:55:44 : Cellbit claims the first global task for red team (electrolytes). The cooldown is 10 minutes 41 seconds.
6:55:49 : Cellbit claims one global task for red team (radiation medicine).
6:55:55 : Cellbit claims one global task for red team (campfires).
6:56:04 : Cellbit leaves the global task dome and sets up a second crafting area to the right of the dome after losing the first. This area is in full view of the dome, and is roughly 61 meters away.
6:57:40 : Cellbit dumps every item in his inventory except for iron and minecarts and a shield into a chest (he is functionally defenseless).
6:58:18 : Cellbit re-enters the global task dome.
6:58:23 : Cellbit claims one global task for red team (minecarts).
6:59:12 : Cellbit claims one global task for red team (diamonds).
6:59:49 : Cellbit gets his sword out of the chest (he is no longer defenseless).
7:00:58 : Jaiden claims the last global task for red team (rails). The bananas task remains unclaimed.
7:01:01 : ElQuackity is visible outside the dome on Cellbit's stream for the first time. Cellbit chases him.
7:04:34 : Cellbit kills ElQuackity, putting red team in the lead.
7:48:07 : The server closes.
Notably:
Red team is physically present, visible, and murderable / stoppable at the global tasks area for 8 minutes 31 seconds.
Red team takes 5 minutes 14 seconds to claim their global tasks.
The cooldown on these global tasks leaves at minimum 36 minutes 28 seconds to reclaim, maximum 41 minutes 42 seconds to reclaim before server close.
If a team were to have come up to the dome during the 8 minute 31 second period, they would have seen the team and could have attacked or stopped them.
There is a 2 minute 9 second period where Cellbit literally does not have a weapon in his inventory.
If a team were to have come up to the dome while the red team was still crafting the global quest items, they could have attacked and prevented the team from crafting the items and forced them to retreat without claiming those goals.
November 6th, 2023 : Day 3 of Purgatory
This is the second day red has used this strategy.
Cellbit's VOD:
3:39:11 : Cellbit sees Bagi on the bridge to global. There are 24 minutes and 2 seconds until the server closes.
3:39:49 : Cellbit enters the global dome, standing just to the right of where the red NPC is on November 7th.
3:40:24 : Cellbit exits the global dome to craft the water bottles needed for the global task.
3:42:58 : Cellbit crafts the final water bottle needed for the global task.
3:43:28 : Cellbit, Foolish, and Carre re-enter the global dome.
3:44:15 : Cellbit and Carre exit the global dome to inspect Bagi's body. Foolish exits the global dome to use the crafting table.
3:45:36 : Cellbit and Carre re-enter the global dome.
(There's a few more entrances and exits from the dome during the following period, though they stay within the area marked with Bagi's body, the global NPCs, and the crafting table as corners : Never much more than 61 meters away and never out of sight of the dome)
3:49:45 : Cellbit sends the message "hey guys we are about to deliver global tasks you should come!" There are 14 minutes and 18 seconds until the server closes.
3:50:39 : Cellbit claims the first global task for red team (tea leaves). There are 13 minutes and 26 seconds until the server closes.
3:50:59 : Carre claims one global task for red team (gas masks).
3:51:01 : Cellbit claims one global task for red team (hot cocoa).
3:51:09 : Cellbit claims one global task for red team (water bottles).
3:51:12 : Cellbit claims one global task for red team (backpacks).
3:51:21 : Carre claims the last global task for red team (tea). There are 11 minutes and 52 seconds until the server closes.
4:03:13 : The server closes.
notably:
Red team is physically present, visible, and murderable / stoppable at the global tasks area for 11 minutes and 28 seconds before they turn in any global tasks.
Red team takes 42 seconds to turn in all of their global tasks.
The cooldown on the global tasks leaves at maximum 3 minutes 26 seconds of time to reclaim, and at minimum 1 minute and 52 seconds to reclaim.
If a team were to have come up to the dome during the 11 minute and 28 second period, they would have seen and could have attacked red team.
If a team were to have come up to the dome in the 3 minutes 47 seconds between red team arriving at the global dome and red team crafting all the water bottles for the global task, they would have seen and could have attacked red team.
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