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jadewritesficshere · 27 days

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Warmth

Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Eddie takes you home after work (1150 words)

Contents: Reader suffers from chronic pain, smoking weed, no gender descriptors for reader, reader is called Baby

Please note I am not a doctor and do not take any medical advice from me ok thanks also each person's health is different from someone elses so please be kind to each other thanks bye

You sigh as you finally lock the door for the store. You had started the day out with working your regular shift. Which had been fine, even if you had felt a little stiff. Then that coworker called in sick...again. And your boss begged you to stay late...again. You had wanted to say no, but the prospect of getting a bit extra in your paycheck, well, you couldn't pass it up.

But now your body was screaming at you. Working for twelve hours had your joints aching. Some days you could barely roll over in bed without the pain. Could barely think a coherent thought as your joints and muscles screamed at you.

And other days, the good days, you felt you could run a marathon. Not because of an absence of pain, but the pain was so little compared to what you were used to it felt like nothing. Some days started like this and ended like the bad days.

And today was ending like a bad day. Especially because that one manager, the one who seemed to not like you, was on duty. Your boss, the sweetest old man in the world, didn't care if you sat in a chair at your register. But the manager who came in for the evening shift once the boss was gone? Took it away and called you lazy, even if you were the best cashier they had.

You slowly but steadily made your way to the van that was sitting idle in the parking lot. Through the passenger window you can see Eddie smoking a joint. When you opened the door, startling Eddie, smoke furled out. You climbed in and slammed the door shut.

"You know this is just begging for someone to call Hopper right?" You groan as you turn to grab your seat belt. "Figured you'd wanna smoke and relax a bit, thought I'd get it started for you." Eddie's arm reaches across you grabbing the seat belt before you could and buckling you in. "I can do it myself," you mumble.

"Yeah, you can. But maybe I want to take care of my Baby, hm?" Eddie hands you the joint," When you said you'd be late earlier, you uh said you already weren't feeling the best. Figured I could do what I can to help. Not that you can't do it yourself, you can, but you know-" "I know. Thanks."

It still was hard to accept that this is how your life was. Even harder to accept help. The thought that people were helping out of pity made you want to scream, even if you knew some people, like Eddie, were helping because they loved you not because they pitied you.

The van roars to life as Eddie presses the gas a bit too hard, causing the entire van to lurch. Eddie winces and mutters an apology. You inhale on the joint, letting the smoke fill your lungs. You crack a window to let the smoke out, humming as you close your eyes.

By the time you make it to Eddie's, you can feel the weed in your system. Softening the edges of everything. The pain easing up slightly as you relax.

Eddie tumbles out of his side, almost face planting, as he rushes to get to your door. He throws the door open and bows, "My liege." You huff out a laugh as you graciously take his hand, gripping it tightly as you step down and out of the van. Eddie winks at you as he kisses the top of your hand, causing you to swat at him. Eddie chuckles as he drops your hand to go and open the door of the trailer.

You follow Eddie inside and to his room after kicking off your shoes. Your only thought is laying down and going to sleep. You barely shrug out of your uniform before collapsing onto his bed. Usually, Eddie would make some joke about getting naked, but tonight he forgoes that and instead dims he lights, sensing how tired you are.

Eddie's bed is old and yet somehow more comfortable then yours (probably because Eddie moves around so much in his sleep he doesn't stick to just one spot like you do, which causes your mattress to deflate and sink in one spot). You toss the nearest blanket over you, sighing in relief that you made it through the day.

You can hear Eddie enter and leave the room a few times, mumbling to himself. The sound of his rings hitting his dresser. The creaking of the drawers opening and shutting as he finds something to wear to bed. The distant beeping of a microwave going off before Eddie leaves the room again.

"Made you something," Eddie says as he reenters the room. "Not hungry," you mumble into the pillow. "Its not food- well, it is but not anymore? I mean we could eat it buuuuuttt..."

You peek an eye open to look at Eddie. In his hands is an oddly shaped lump. You can recognize the familiar pattern as the curtains in Eddie's room (and the realization there are no curtains anymore hits you). You can tell it was supposed to be a rectangle, but is more oblong like an oval.

Eddie gingerly places it against your back and- oh. It's warm.

Eddie crawls onto the bed next to you," Remember the heating pad? How it died? Well, figured might as well make my own and save us some money. Filled with rice, so if we really need to I guess we could eat it but I don't think that's uh the best idea."

"You sew?" You ask softly. Eddie grins at you," Mama taught me." Eddie readjusts the bag against you where it fell away. "Eds..." Eddie hums looking up at you," Yeah?"

"Thank you." "Anytime Baby. I'd do anything I can for you." You smirk at him," Anything?" Eddie rolls his eyes as he grins back," Weeelll-" you both chuckle. You roll back onto your side and close your eyes.

And as you lay there you think of how much Eddie loves you. How often he shows you his love. How he opens doors for you and closes them. How Eddie doesn't treat you as glass like some of your friends do, but how he still cares and makes you comfortable. How Eddie doesn't try to limit you and let's you set the pace for yourself. How Eddie took down his curtains to make you a heating pad because yours went out.

You reach back and slowly link your hand with his. Eddie hums slightly, linking your fingers, before shifting and wrapping his arm around you, drawing you closer.

You can feel the warmth from the rice. The warmth of Eddie's body. The warmth from his breath as he falls asleep. And the warmth from your heart as it yells out how in love you are.

#Eddie later mentions it took blood sweat and tears to make the rice heating bag #And you laugh until you see the bandaids wrapped around his fingers #You kiss every one #Hey guys guess who's back and who is In Pain #If you said the author the answer is right...hello #My back and hips...let me tell you are not cooperating but the rice heating pad helps #And that is what inspired this idea because the one I have was made by my friend and I thought oh Eddie would make one #And so here we are #Eddie Munson x reader #Eddie Munson x you #Eddie Munson x y/n #Eddie Munson/reader #Eddie Munson/you #Jade is Talking #Also I dont smoke idk how accurate that is but my relative says it helps their joints and I know many who do so

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hippolotamus · 29 days

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summarizing my WIPs poorly

I was tagged by @indestructibleheart @stereopticons @welcometololaland @apothecarose Thank you lovelies

WIP is a very loose term in my world but I'm narrowing the list as usual. This was very fun and very challenging.

Eddie: fine, whatever, if I have to and it'll make you go away. Buck: like hell you will, pick anyone else. But not me (dear god please pick me)

boy meets boy, marries girl, they live queerily ever after... or do they? (buddie)

hippo's separated lovers era but make it Twylexis

i'm a witch, you're a cat... why not? (Buddie)

boy takes his bestie on a date, suffers years of repression. update at 11 (Buddie)

you were real... weren't you??? (Buddie)

Eddie: i might like it, can't hurt to try, no harm do- oh shit, what now?

Buck: wait, where the fuck did you come from? you wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Completely 100% straight, single Texas father has a night out with his highly toxic coworkers... what could possibly go wrong? (Buddie)

what's a little dom/sub overtones between completely platonic besties??? (Buddie)

It should have been 16, we'll do 17 instead (Twylexis)

let's not make things complicated by getting to know each other (Lutalia)

Eddie: i type these out all the time, it's not like i'm actually gonna send it (accidentally sends it)

remember that time before we got together and i ruined everything? about that... (buddie)

Eddie "show no feelings" Diaz + secret hoarding boyfriend Buck (co write with @diazsdimples)

Eddie: I can't love him more than I do. Buck: shows up with a toddler. Eddie: oh, FFS. Really?! i'm so fucked.

Buck: you're coming back, right? i can't do this without you

As a bonus, feel free to send me asks telling me which ones you wanna see next and/or to get more info about any of the above. You might get a snippet, or a bit of outline, or just some unhinged rambling

np tagging: my love @disasterbuckdiaz @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @buddierights @tizniz @diazsdimples @wikiangela @hoodie-buck @say-bi-for-me @theotherbuckley @fortheloveofbuddie @lemonzestywrites @daffi-990 @jesuisici33 @elvensorceress @giddyupbuck @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @steadfastsaturnsrings @spotsandsocks @vanillahigh00 @wildlife4life @your-catfish-friend and anyone else who wants to play 😘

#badly summarized wip #hippo writes #buddie wip #lutalia wip #twylexis wip #sorry for the long list #edited to add one more

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leasstories · 3 months

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Let me take care of you

Eddie Munson x Gn reader

TW: Raynaud’s syndrome

WC ≈800

January 24th, 1987

You love winter but winter doesn’t love you. Or maybe your body doesn’t like winter. You have what we call Raynaud’s syndrome, which means during winter, your hands are sometimes swollen and either red or purple either white. Raynaud’s syndrome causes decreased blood flow in the fingers. Your hands are really cold despite the gloves you put on. The few steps you have to take to get to your car are a nightmare for your poor fingers. Eddie doesn’t know about your syndrome yet, you’ve only moved in together a month ago, before, you hid it from him. How are you supposed to explain to your boyfriend why your hands are so gross and swollen. You open your car door with some difficulty as your hands can’t really grip anything and climb o your driver seat. You close the car door and drive home, wondering how you will explain your disease to your boyfriend. You park in front of your shard trailer, stop the engine but make no move to get out of the car, you just stare at your gloves, imagining what your fingers might look like.

Eddie heard your car park in the driveway and wonders why you’re not here yet, so he decided to go out and check on you. He can see you, head low, still in your car. You, however, don’t notice him. You get startled by a knock at your window. You open your door and try to muster your best smile for your boyfriend. But Eddie sees something’s off, he knows you. He gently kisses yo on the lips. Eddie knows better than to ask yo what’s wrong. He helps you ut of your car.

“Wanna talk about whatever’s happening in that pretty little head of yours?” Eddie asks instead, so you can’t deny that something’s actually going on.

“‘S fine Eddie, ‘s nothing.” You answer while going toward your shared trailer.

“‘S not nothing if it bothers my amazing, beautiful partner. You know you can talk to me?..” Eddie asks, a bit disappointed.

“Let’s get inside” you say before taking a deep breath. “And I’l show yo what is bothering me.”

Eddie nods and lead you inside the trailer and closes the door, you take your gloves off and show Eddie the state your hands are in. Eddie gasps, which almost makes you cry until you hear him say.

“My poor baby… What happened?”

“I have a disease called Raynaud’s syndrome” you tell him before explaining it to him.

“Why haven’t you told me earlier?” Eddie asks.

“I was afraid of your reaction, my fingers are hideous like this and it hurts Eddie… it hurts and when I hurt I’m grumpy and…” Eddie cuts your rambling.

“Hey, hey, hey stop that. Tell me how I can help? What can I do for your poor lil hands ?“ Eddie asks, a bit loud as he hates the idea that you suffer.

“Usually warm but not hot, just warm water helps. Too hot and too cold worsen it. Also massaging the hands can help too” you answer, looking at your feet, ashamed.

Eddie goes to the sink and run warm water. “You don’t have to be ashamed Sweetheart, it’s not your fault you have this disease. I promise it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Eddie tells you earnestly.

“I have freaky fingers” you say, sniffling.

“Then, I love your freaky fingers.” He tells you before kissing each one of your fingers.

Then he puts the bowl of warm water on the table and asks you to put your hands inside of it. You obey, and stay like this for a few minutes.

“I’m sorry about that…” you tell Eddie, embarrassed.

“Hey, I said none of this. It’s not your fault sweetheart. Just let me take care of you.” Eddie says before taking one of your hands out of the warm water and massaging it with his big warm hands, once he is done with one, he massages the other.

“Is it okay like this Sweetheart?” Eddie asks sweetly.

You nod, humming in delight. He keeps doing it for a few minutes, also kissing your fingers from time to time.

Once Eddie is done, he gently releases your hand.

“Wanna watch your comfort movie? Would it make you feel better?” He asks.

You nod eagerly and sit on the couch, Eddie covers the both of you with a blanket and start the movie, Eddie takes one of your hands in his during the entire movie, not complaining once that your fingers are cold or swollen, he just hold your hand, hoping his body warmth will alleviate the pain.

You spend the evening snuggled up next to one another and it makes the pain coming from your fingers more bearable. Eddie loves you, Raynaud’s syndrome or not and it feels good to be taken care of.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x yn #eddie munson comfort #eddie munson lives #eddie munson is a sweetheart #eddie munson x gn!reader #Eddie Munson is the sweetest #eddie munson

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carolmunson · 1 year

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the vacation diaries - entry two

entry one eddie keeps a journal from your time together at the inn in upstate indiana. a series of blurbs starting from the first morning after ’before there was a before’ in my steddieverse series.

warnings: 18+ themes, minors dni. mentions of seeing a therapist/being put on medication. otherwise, pure fluff.

dinner was a disaster. for me, at least. i think she thought it was pretty funny, and if i can get her to laugh instead of whatever wistful look she’s been pulling then maybe my suffering is okay. who fucking over cooks duck? it’s impossible to make duck dry. i wanted to send it back but i didn’t want them to spit in her desert. i’ve made better duck in wayne’s trailer! i’m so pissed.

don’t even get me started on the excuse for pasta primavera that was on her plate. of course she thought it was good — i thought maybe i made her palette a little more sophisticated over time. i guess not.

i think she felt a little better yesterday after she got out of the shower. a little refreshed. we mostly drove around to look at all the scenery out here — the snow makes it extra nice. we stopped by a diner for coffee and she held my hand the whole time again. i missed that. all those gentle touches. she got so reserved, i think maybe she felt like she had to earn them. she’s never have to earn gentleness from me. maybe it’s a learned behavior.

despite the awful food, dinner was fine-ish. i should've just jumped in the back and cooked everything instead. i promised when we got back home i'd make her something better. talking about home made her sad. she didn't say she was sad. but i could tell in her eyes that it made her think about steve. steve always orders pasta primavera when he goes out to dinner. it's always never as good as i make it at home.

she looked really pretty. she always does. she wore that lipstick i like and winked at me when she put it on in the mirror. i think sometimes when i look at her i'm gonna explode. she makes me want to fucking explode.

it was nice to kiss it all off after dinner. we came back here and hung out in the common area for a bit, made friends with some old folks and played checkers, they shared their bourbon with us. i taught her how to play chess. sort of taught her. she definitely still doesn’t get it but that’s okay. we played checkers with the old folks until they had to go to bed the way old folks do. she hasn’t smiled like that in a long time. her laugh is so genuine when she’s not trying to hide it from steve. the way the corners of her lips crease right before she’s about to giggle. i never see that anymore. i wanna make her laugh forever.

she kissed me up here and thanked me for dinner but she doesn’t have to. we made out a little a lot, and i know she wanted to fuck but i just didn’t feel like it was the right time. and like, who the fuck am i, right? when have i ever said no? but i don’t know, i just don’t want her to think i brought her up here to fuck it out of her. i want her to relax. i want it to be about her.

he called this morning. right when she left the room to go save us a table for breakfast. he's not sleeping, he called his doctor to find a shrink. he's scared they're gonna put him on pills, but maybe he needs pills. he sounds bad but he said he's not mad at me. i shouldn't care if he is or not, but it felt nice to hear him say it. he didn't ask to talk to her which i thought was brave but i know he was listening hard to hear her in the background.

i don't know what we're gonna do today, she's getting dressed and doing her hair. maybe we'll just drive around until we find something cool. take her shopping at some of the little kitchy stores that're over here. get some dumb christmas ornaments for next year.

i'm excited to kiss her again.

i'm more excited to hold her hand.

- ed

#vacation diaries #the steddieverse

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willbyersprotector · 2 years

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how I want vol 2 to go:

Mike notices Will gets a nosebleed and remembers Max had one

honestly I want the cali gang to head to Hawkins without El and then the russia gang finds out El was taken and they save her instead so we get taht Hop and El reunited again moment

I don't know how I want the creel house storyline to go because I think the duffers are doing good with it, I just want more cali gang and byler lol so nothing there rn

some sweet friendship moments between Mike and Will as they go to Hawkins, and those [tender, emotional music playing] glances to hint at byler

they get to Hawkins and get filled in on vecna and Will gets scared now because yknow... he's traumatized as fuck so venca is gonna go crazy for that

the convo between byler in Hop's cabin... I'd love for it to be a confession but I also think it would be good just to be another tender and emotional moment between them, maybe hinting a bit to Mike's feelings

Dustin or Lucas says happy birthday to Will and Mike's face drops because he forgot and he totally had a gift and everything

a parallel to Will grabbing the painting maybe Mike grabbing the mix tape from his room

Eddie meeting Will and mentioning Mike talks about him a lot and maybe he sees how Will looks at Mike and is like "ah he's gay" nd pats him on the back

Will gets vecnad obviously and I saw someone say how they thought it would be cool if we didn't realize it till later, like it looks normal but slowly we realize that he's vecnad, idk who said that but I think that would be cool

obviously I want the swing scene to be in his nightmare thing, and how he's into Mike but also I wanna see some of his experience in the upside down, I really wish they had shown us that in season 1 more

Mike tries to get Will to come back by playing the mix tape but that doesn't work so he tries to talk to him to get him to come back and I don't think he will realize by then that he's gay, maybe he's starting to get confused about all that but I need him to say something like "I can't lose you" or even "let's start a new party together, just us, just don't go"

and don't we all know that Will doesn't catch a break so I also think the lyrics to Running Up That Hill mean something and he has a connection with the mind flayer and the upside down so what if Will switches places with Vecna or something and gets stuck in the upside down again and that's how seasom 4 will end

I don't care if he's suffering as long as he's alive and like... a main character again

also maybe a parallel to Joyce giving the letter to El at the end of season 3 with Jonathon giving the painting to Mike and Mike sees it and then realizes that Will likes him and then maybe Heroes is playing and Mike flips over his mix tape and it says "Love, Mike" and the season ends

#sorry this is long lmao #just manifesting my perfect vol 2 #might write fanfic because im hyperfixating hard rn #byler #will byers is gay #mike wheeler x will byers #mike x will #byler season 4 #bylers #happy pride 🌈

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eddiemunsonw · 1 year

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It takes one kiss

CHAPTER 1 - Stupid party games

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5

Steddie Fanfic

Summary: Steve hosts a party and ends up suffering through the consequences of humoring Tommy.

Steve Harrington kisses Eddie Munson by accident and that sucked. Right?

CW / Disclaimer: Some mild overlap with S4 scenes (barely) - But (!!) Eddie lives - Mention of F-slur once.

Author’s note: My first Steddie fic! Another first woop. Let's hope you like. It has five parts that I'll be posting both on here and on my ao3: eddiemunsons. Enjoy!

Words: (of current chapter) 3695 / (complete fic) 15381

Steve’s POV

Would it really be a Saturday night if Steve Harrington wasn’t hosting a party at his parentless house right before break? Exactly. Steve had counted more heads than he could remember and barely recognized half of them. It didn’t matter. He put the breakable stuff away in his parents’ room, locked it. All was good. At least, until Tommy decided everyone had to join in these stupid party games. They played spin the bottle for a while, which Steve gleefully avoided because Tammy Thompson was in the circle and he did not want to kiss her. She had been making eyes at him more and more lately and he was not ready for accidentally dropping wrong clues in her direction. He didn’t care much about the others either, but he wouldn’t mind making out a bit if he was honest.

Apparently, Tommy could read thoughts nowadays, because one minute Steve was enjoying some spiked mixture that Carol had made in his father’s favorite armchair (that still looked good as new considering he never sat in it) and the next he got hauled up by Tommy.

“Who wants their kissing skills rated by King Steve?!”

“Tommy, what—”

“Watch, this is gonna be great. You might get a nice hookup out of this and if not, at least you made out with a bunch of hot chicks. We line ‘em all up and you give them a number one to ten. Easy peasy.”

“No T—”

“Tammy, yeah, I know. Alright, you just stand here, I’m gonna steal someone’s tie for a blindfold. There’s always some fucker walking around like he’s on the way to a funeral.”

Steve stood there, still swaying a bit unsteady as he had just downed the pretty strong drink a little too quickly before Tommy pulled him on his feet. So he was going to kiss a bunch of girls. Alright, whatever. He glanced around and was met with several eager, several nervous faces.

Not much later, Tommy returned with someone’s scarf instead of a tie and wasted no time tying it around Steve’s head.

“Careful for the hair, man. You’re gonna make it look all loopy,” Steve complained softly as Tommy sniggered and tugged the scarf a bit tighter.

“Can you see anything?” If Tommy was waving his hand in front of Steve, which he was pretty sure he was doing right now, Steve couldn’t see.

“Nope. Dark as the night.”

Tommy sounded like he was holding a sales pitch. It probably would have worked for a kissing booth or something, except people were supposed to pay for that, for charity or something. Right now, it felt like Steve was the one giving out charity. He realized a little too late that he actually didn’t feel like making out with people at all. Backing down now, however, meant being questioned. And he was way too drunk and honest for that right now. Which in turn also worried him a little if he was supposed to rate these girls. This was going to be brutal. He had to remind himself to give some decent numbers at least.

“Alright ladies, form a line.” Tommy’s broad hands grasped onto Steve’s shoulders and pulled him to the start of the line. “Do you wanna rate them at the end or in between?” he asked him.

“At the end, otherwise I can’t compare.”

“Makes sense. I thought you were too drunk already to still have some logic inside that pretty little brain of yours,” Tommy said mockingly, laughing as he nudged Steve forward.

“Contestant number one! And for the record everyone, no one gives away who he’s kissing. This has to be fair and square.”

“Right. Uh, hi,” Steve said awkwardly, feeling awfully vulnerable now that the majority of the people in the living room seemed to be watching the spectacle, if the hushed conversations were anything to go by. Someone turned the music up a bit and Steve could feel himself relax a little. He wanted to lift his hands to grab her face but assumed that might be counted as cheating as well, so instead he just leaned in and hoped she would do the same. The first kiss was no more than a lengthy peck on the lips which was fine but a little boring. Tommy moved him to the next girl, who wrestled with his tongue as if she wanted to take it out of his mouth and swallow it whole. Unpleasant. The third was actually kind of nice, with just enough tongue and her lips were soft too. After that, everything seemed to blend together apart from the eighth girl who bit his lip a little too hard. He had no idea how many girls Tommy had rounded up for him to kiss and he lost count after ten. His lips started to become sore when he got to what he later came to realize was his thirteenth kiss.

Eddie’s POV

Harrington’s parties were always the best for selling. Lots of people, often people whose pockets were spilling over with their parent’s gracious allowance and he could easily get his deals done without authorities noticing. That was a little trickier at a high school. After he was done dealing he decided to make use of the free food and drinks that were displayed and spent quite some time outside with a bottle of liquor he had found in the cabinet below the sink. He realized he was probably unfit to drive with the amount of alcohol in his system and decided it might be a good idea to sleep it off near the pool until a couple started stripping off their clothes right next to him.

He jumped up, stumbling forward towards the house as he rested a tired hand on the sliding door until he realized that he was pressing against nothing. How he managed to not completely trip, he had no clue. He also had no idea how he managed to halt in front of a blindfolded Steve Harrington, who suddenly leaned in and kissed him full on the lips.

The faint arguing of Tommy and Tammy right next to him was easily drowned out by the slaughtering beating his heart was getting as he not only felt Harrington’s lips against his, but he felt them move. This was no clumsy stumbling forward action like Eddie had done, this was deliberately kissing him. Eddie gasped unwillingly, his lips parting slightly as he did so. Which was either the best or the worst thing he could have done, because now Harrington was slipping his tongue inside his mouth and Christ it felt good.

All that had ever made sense in his life flew out the window and he focused on what he felt only. Listened to what his body wanted. And man, if there was anything his body wanted right now like a lost man in the desert wanted water, it was kissing Steve Harrington.

With some hesitation he let his own tongue join in on the fun, gliding across the other boy’s. He reveled in the fact that a soft noise escaped Steve’s lips when he nipped at his lip and soothed it with his tongue before diving in again, his head angled slightly to deepen the kiss. If either boy had paid any mind to their surroundings, they would have noticed the silence. People had stopped talking mid sentence to witness what was going on. Even Tammy forgot to argue with Tommy about being pushed aside just as Steve wanted to kiss her. Some watched with curiosity, others with pure disgust. When Tommy finally interrupted them, Steve seemed reluctant to move away, licking his lips in the aftermath. Eddie was brought back to reality as he watched Tommy’s disgusted expression, which matched a lot of other people that were currently staring at him in silence. Eddie quickly backed away towards the kitchen and was ready to leave entirely when Steve spoke up, making him linger. Him and his stupid curiosity.

Steve’s POV

“Am I done now?”

“Y-Yeah man. Here.” Tommy helped Steve with his blindfold and the latter blinked a few times to adjust to the light. Still a little high on the feeling that last kiss had given him, he looked around the room oblivious to the weird stares. Maybe they were just jealous, or something. Or maybe it had been a little too wild. He suppressed a grin by biting down on his lip and looked at Tommy.

“How many girls did I kiss? I lost count.”

Carol giggled drunkenly and opened her mouth but Tommy elbowed her.

“Thirteen.”

“Shit, okay,” he chuckled, trying to recall them separately. It was impossible. Rating them at the end without making notes in between was impossible. So instead, he went for decent ratings. He remembered a few numbers vaguely enough to know what to rate them with. Ultimately he left people with 6’s, 7’s and even one 8. The girl he had scored an 8 happened to be kind of pretty, so that was fortunate.

“So… that leaves the last one,” Steve said, eager to find out who he had been kissing last. He hoped she was pretty. Looks weren’t everything, but they were a pretty fucking great bonus. Steve noticed that the crowd died down again, which was unusual for his parties. It had only been a kiss, so why were they being so weird about it? There hadn’t been any weird silences in between his other kisses. He decided he couldn’t care less. He just wanted to know who it was.

“Number thirteen I rate 9.5 out of 10,” Steve started, hearing a few gasps and giggles as he stated the number. “I would have given her a ten if our kiss wasn’t cut short by Tommy,” he said while glaring at Tommy who wore an expression he couldn’t decipher even if he had been sober. Weird. “So… Who was it?”

Steve looked around the room, silently taking hopeful guesses at a few pretty faces until his eyes landed on Tommy. “Well?”

“Uh—”

Carol started giggling again, her eyes nearly closed as she snorted and spilled a bit of her drink on the floor. Nothing new. Steve did wonder what was so funny.

“Steeeeve,” she giggled, then hiccupped and Tommy gave her a worried glance. Again, nothing new, right? Carol was drunk more often than not at parties. Tommy avoided his gaze but Steve didn’t miss a flicker of disgust crossing his eyes. What the fuck was going on? Was she ugly or something?

“Steve,” Carol giggled again, catching his attention once more, “you kissed the freak!”

Cold dread filled him instantly and his eyes snapped up towards the kitchen, following Carol’s gesture, where no other than Eddie Munson had just let his red cup slip from his fingers, staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. Eddie Munson?!

Eddie’s POV

Oh fuck. Oh shit. Shit shit shit. This wasn’t good. This was bad, very bad. He glanced down at his shoes, his laces now soaked with the sticky punch he had filled himself a cup with when Carol had slipped out that it had been him. Steve Harrington, his goonies and basically everyone else at the party were staring at him. And what he did next, truly made him wonder whether he had a death wish or something. Unprovoked, not a thought crossing his mind other than sheer panic, and yet he did it anyway. He looked Steve Harrington straight in the eyes and fucking winked.

He knew he shouldn’t have done that, he did. But what made him really fucking certain that it had been a bad idea was when Harrington charged towards him and grabbed him by his shirt, roughly shaking him up.

“Why did you kiss me?! Wasn’t it obvious what was going on?” Harrington practically yelled at him, startling even himself by the look on his face. Eddie lifted his hands up in defense while his brain worked hard to create sentences in his head.

“First of all, you kissed me. Secondly, I literally stumbled inside because I tripped over your goddamn door sill and happened to land in front of you. I didn’t know what was going on until we were already doing it,” Eddie explained exasperatedly. Feeling Harrington’s rapid breathing teasing his throat was not helping him to think straight. Eddie noticed how the other boy’s eyes quickly darted to the people gaping at their interaction and he lowered his voice a little.

“You could have stopped it, stepped back or something!”

“I could, but… I didn’t,” Eddie sighed and licked his lips as his eyes accidentally flicked down to Steve’s mouth. What was there to say? They kissed, it wasn’t the end of the world. Clearly, Steve had liked it too. Wait. Steve had liked it too. Shit. Before he knew it, his mouth was running again.

“Besides… you literally rated me a 9.5. You were clearly enjoying yourself, as much as the reveal of who it was disappointed you.”

Anger, panic and the slightest flicker of disgust flashed in Steve’s eyes and he pushed Eddie backwards with force. The unexpected push caused him to stumble backwards and land his back on the counter painfully, a grunt escaping his lips.

“Just stay the fuck away from me, freak!” Steve seethed, his eyes blazing as he furiously rubbed his mouth on his sleeve.

Okay… dramatic much. Eddie straightened his back, briefly glancing over at the rest of the crowd who all had negative expressions on their faces reserved specifically for him. He couldn’t care less about those, he was used to it. Hell, most of those people had looked at him like that at some point throughout this evening. Never Steve Harrington though. While ‘The King’ never acknowledged him, he at the very least didn’t go out of his way to taunt him. Never stuck up for him either, but that was okay. Eddie knew being a popular kid basically stripped you from being able to act out human decency. However, it still hurt like a bitch when he of all people called him a freak. Tommy had, loads of times. He never let the opportunity slide in fact. Carol too, whenever she wanted to be extra cool around Tommy. But Steve? Never. Not once. It didn’t help that Eddie had a silly little crush on the guy either. He knew it was impossible, but still. This shit hurt.

He knew when to take his leave though. It wouldn’t be the first time he had gotten a beating, but he really wasn’t feeling one tonight. Today had been good overall. It would have continued to be good had he not stumbled right in front of Steve Harrington, who had then kissed him. During the few times he had allowed himself to fantasize about him, their first kiss had never gone like this. He wished he could forget about all of it, but as fucked up as the whole situation was, kissing Steve Harrington had felt fucking amazing. It would be impossible to forget in his lifetime.

All eyes were on him as he quietly made his way through the crowd towards the front door and he received a couple shoves from jocks, the other f-word being slung to his head as well. The front door closed behind him with a bang and he walked to his van without looking back. Listening to the deafening silence around him save from the crunch of his shoes on the asphalt. As soon as he closed the door of his van and drove off, he only felt a little annoyed about the tears spilling on his cheeks.

Steve’s POV

“What are you all looking at? Go party or get lost already,” he grunted as he stepped on a red cup on the ground. After some awkward shuffling, one person had the brains to turn the music back on at a decent volume and slowly everyone continued what they were doing before the whole thing happened. Tommy approached him cautiously and leaned on the kitchen island with his arm, facing him.

“Did you mean it?” he asked, a question way too vague for Steve’s jumbled thoughts at the moment. He reached for the bottle in the cabinet below the sink and found it missing, much to his annoyance. Which person would snoop around the cabinets when there was a table filled of shit? Rude. He could have used some stronger stuff right now.

“Did I mean what?” Steve responded impatiently when Tommy failed to give any context. The other guy awkwardly gestured towards the living room near the spot where Steve had walked away from earlier and shrugged.

“You know. The 9.5 you gave to the freak.”

Steve froze in his movement for only a second before he frowned at his friend. He noticed Tommy looked quite uncomfortable and he hated it. Hated that he had been betrayed so hard by everyone around him. It wasn’t just Munson who had let it happen. It was Tommy, Carol and everyone else too. They had all seen him kiss someone he wasn’t supposed to kiss, and how could he have known? He had been blindfolded! Sure, he had smelled cologne and tasted smoke and they had been the tiniest bit taller than him but… All of that didn’t necessarily scream “guy” or something. It could have just been a slightly taller girl that liked to smoke and used her dads cologne for whatever weird reason. Who cares? But no. Tommy had watched him make out with… him, for god knows how long. It was awful. He had never hated anything more in his life. Steve scoffed.

“Are you kidding me? I was totally joking. I was gonna tell them it was actually a 1.5 and that they should get some more practice. As a joke.” He sincerely hoped his lie was believable enough for Tommy because he sure as hell couldn’t convince himself. Unfortunately, Tommy didn’t buy it.

“Doesn’t really sound like something you would do,” Tommy said quietly, almost accusingly. As if not being a dickhead was the worst thing in the world. He wanted to be the biggest dickhead. Anything was better than being the guy who kissed the freak and rated him a near tenner.

“Yeah? Well. Standing by and letting that freak kiss your friend doesn’t really sound like good old Tommy either. What the actual fuck, dude?! You let me down, man! This was all your idea and look what happened! The fact that you’re even asking me this is really fucked up.”

“Maybe if you hadn’t looked like you were into it that much I wouldn’t have to ask, Steve,” Tommy seethed, visibly angry. “You were literally sucking each other's faces off. I have never seen you kiss Nancy like that. Or any girl for that matter.”

“Sounds like you enjoy watching me kiss a lot. Is that it? Did it awaken something in you?” Steve bit back. Tommy seemed ready to punch him but Steve didn’t care. He wasn’t in the wrong here, Tommy was.

“Are you calling me a fag, dude?” Tommy’s eyes were blazing by now, his fists clenched at his sides as he straightened his back. Steve shrugged carelessly.

“I’m not calling you anything, but if the shoe fits…”

“You take that back. You fucking take that back right now or I’ll—”

“COPS!! EVERYONE OUT!”

Oh, great. More drama. Tommy gave him one last venomous look and then made a run towards Carol, grabbed her hand and left through the back door. Steve watched as people left his house through the windows, heard them jump from the first floor onto the roof before jumping down on the lawn and the most impatient line was starting to form at the front door. His parents were going to love this.

After humoring Hopper for a little while, he went back inside with a warning and cleaned up most of the mess everyone had left around until he noticed that the sun was coming up. It didn’t matter. He wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyway. Not with that goddamn kiss lingering in his mind, lips tingling from the mere afterthought of it.

He hated everything about it, but most of all the fact that he had liked it. There was probably a logical explanation for it. He thought he had been kissing a girl after all. Eddie had full lips. Girls often had full lips. Did guys often have full lips? He sure didn’t. And then there was the wink and the staring at his lips that Munson had so carelessly done in front of everyone. He had heard the rumors about Munson being gay but always assumed it was bullshit because he had seen him trying to flirt and fail at it with girls often enough. He didn’t look gay. But being gay didn’t really have to do with looks, did it? Anyone could be gay. Or straight. You weren’t straight by default if you looked like a jock or something. He passed a mirror on the way to his bedroom and halted, taking in his appearance. Peered at himself to see if he could spot telltale signs of any sexuality there.

He had a square jaw, that was manly. But his hair looked better than half the girls in his year. Not so manly? But again, did it really matter if you looked manly or not? What did it even fucking mean? His head hurt from overthinking combined with lack of sleep. This was all way too complicated.

Steve liked girls. Girls liked Steve. Those two statements made sense. He had to hold onto things that just made sense. Right? Yes. And he had to forget about the weird feeling that got sent straight to his groin when Eddie looked down at his lips. Yes. And he also had to forget about how soft his lips were. Yes. And forget about how a kiss had never felt this good before. Yes. He could do this. Steve. Liked. Girls. End of story.

Right?

#steddie #steve x eddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie fanfic #stranger things fanfic

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heximagines · 2 years

Note

I want to make a request for Eddie <3 (my first request ever)

I’m thinking about reader being kinda in love with Steve but he breaks her heart with a good ANGSTY thing. So Eddie is there for her and keep showing her how much she deserves someone better, so fluffy ending with them being cuties with each other and Steve realizing his mistake idk (i like when they suffer) 🫣 so yeeesss plz and thank youuuu 💕💕

Your first request! I'm honored. 🖤🖤🖤 I hope you love it.

Steve Harrington was a fucking moron. At least Eddie figured he had to be because here you were. Sweet, perfect you sitting on the edge of his bed with tears streaming down your beautiful face. He reached forward and wiped your cheeks with his thumbs. You leaned into the touch and sniffled in a way that made you feel pathetic. "I'm sorry you have to deal with me right now. I'm so humiliated." "Hey," Eddie shook his head, "don't you apologize to me. And I don't deal with you, I care about you. You're my friend y/n." You gave him a wavering smile that didn't quite light up your eyes like when you were genuinely happy. His heart ached at the sight and he pulled you in for a tight hug. You melted gladly into Eddie's warm, comforting touch. "You wanna tell me what happened? You don't have to if you don't want." You buried your face in his chest and Eddie hoped that you couldn't feel how it made his heart pound. He also hoped his deodorant was holding up. You give no indication that either of those things were a problem. "He totally led me on… I thought he really liked me." 'Of course,' Eddie thought, 'typical popular asshole behavior. Into one girl only until another walks by.' "But you should have seen him Ed, the second Nancy Wheeler walked into the party he practically shoved me off of him! And he was totally up her ass, dude. They broke up like a year ago." Eddie scoffed, "Doesn't that chick have a boyfriend anyway? God what a douche." "Exactly!" You looked up at him with big watery eyes and Eddie wanted nothing more than to kiss you. Kiss you until you forgot all about stupid Steve Harrington. Until he was the only guy on your mind. But he didn't, instead he wiped away more fresh tears. "Don't worry about Harrington. He wouldn't know a good thing if it ran up and kicked him in the balls. I'm pretty sure he's got hair where his brain is supposed to be." You couldn't stop yourself from chuckling and your friend's eyes lit up at the sound. He grinned and flopped back onto the bed, taking you with him. "That's more like it. I want to hear more of that." His fingertips lightly grazed along your sides. You let out a squeak and tried to wriggle away but Eddie wasn't having it. Soon you were crying from laughter as he tickled you relentlessly.

Finally when your face was red and your laughter tapered off to wheezing his fingers stilled and he wrapped his arms back around you. You took deep gulps of air before pressing your cheek against his shoulder. Idly your hand rubbed over the spots on his chest where your tears soaked through his Hellfire shirt. "Sorry about that…" Eddie scoffed, "What did I say about apologizing?" You looked up at him with a smile that was just a tad bit less sad this time and he gave you a squeeze. "Seriously though, that guy doesn't even deserve you. You're so much better than him. You're the coolest person in this whole shithole town." Eddie stared up at the ceiling as he spoke, too afraid that if he looked at you you'd see something in his eyes he wasn't ready to say. "You think so?" It nearly killed him how soft and vulnerable you sounded right then. "Absolutely. I've thought so since the first day we met." Your fingers came up to play with the ends of Eddie's hair. You were so glad you ditched out on the rest of that lame party to be here with him instead. "Can I stay here tonight?" "Any time you want," he said without a second thought.

Eddie was in the living room sorting through his movie collection when he heard your soft steps padding up behind him. "Hey, do you wanna watch a horror or a co-me-dy-" his voice tapered off when he turned to see you in his clothes. Sure he had offered them to you, and he knew you were going to put them on, but he couldn't explain how it felt to see you in his shirt and sweatpants. He swallowed dryly and was glad you didn't seem to notice his nerves. "Hmm, how about both? You have Fright Night yeah?" God you were the woman of his dreams. "You know I do." He grabbed the movie and started putting the others back when there was a knock at the door. "I think that's the pizza. Can you grab it? There's cash on the counter." You nod and snag the 20 off the counter before opening the door. To your dismay you were met with Sam Barnes, a friend of Steve's. He seemed equally as surprised to see you. In Eddie Munson's trailer, wearing Eddie Munson's clothes. You trade him the cash for the pizza and after a tense pause he asks if you wanted any change. Eddie, having finished his task, was now behind you taking the box from your hands. "No worries man, keep the change," he waves him off. You give Sam a tight lipped smile and a nod while he continues to look at you like you've grown 5 extra heads. Finally you just close the door on him. "I think you stunned the delivery guy with how cute you look," it slips out before Eddie can stop it and you laugh, feeling your cheeks heat up. "No, I don't think that was it."

You make yourself comfy on the couch with a slice of pizza and a blanket in your lap while Eddie turns off the lights and hits play on the VCR. He came to join you on the couch, hesitating before sitting on the opposite side. You frown a bit at the distance. Scooting closer to him you take the blanket and cover his lap too before lifting Eddie's arm and tucking yourself under it. His face flushed and he looked down at you. "Miss me?" "You're nice and warm," you shrug before turning your attention to the screen. Eddie smiled and leaned his head against yours. Steve Harrington was definitely a moron.

"I'm telling you man! With Eddie "The Freak" Munson, wearing his clothes," Sam banged his hands on the counter of Scoops Ahoy. Steve looked completely flabbergasted, and his coworker Robin added a tally to her board. "Sounds like you fumbled that one real bad, Stevie boy," she tisked. He whipped his ridiculous hat off and tossed it at her. "Don't call me that, and cover me for a minute. I gotta make a call." Steve hopped over the counter before Robin could protest and took off towards the pay phones. He dialed your number and waited. After a tense few moments your sister answered. "Julie, where's y/n. I have to talk to her." She scoffed over the line, "She's not home. She's busy." "She's not home or she's busy?" Steve was already agitated. "Both. Bye." The line went dead and Steve banged his head against the wall. He had majorly fucked up. Later that afternoon, once he was off work, he drove by your house only to see your car wasn't there. He chewed his lower lip before popping a U-turn and heading in the direction of the trailer park.

You had spent pretty much the whole weekend at Eddie's, minus a run home to grab some clothes and tell your sister about the party. Honestly you had missed Eddie. Since you and Steve started seeing each other a few months ago the two of you couldn't seem to get any hang out time anymore. You hated that. You never wanted to be one of those people who let their relationship mess up their friendships. So now you sat on the picnic bench a few feet from Eddie's trailer and he was teaching you how to roll a joint. "Fuck this looks sad," you laugh. "It's not sad!" He defended your work as if it were his own. "It's just got character. I bet you it's perfectly smokable." "Only one way to find out," you hold up your lighter. And sure enough Eddie was right, your joint may not have been as good as his were but it was indeed very smokable. And the one you rolled after that was even better. And the third one you rolled? "Holy shit, it's perfect. This is the Mona Lisa of joints, y/n." You giggle uncontrollably and Eddie holds your joint up to the sky like an ancient artifact he'd discovered. "I almost don't want to smoke it… Almost." He turned to you, beaming at your laughter. "Can't light it without this." You dangle the lighter in front of his face. Eddie reaches out to grab it and you yank your arm back, laughing at him. "Oh is that what we're doing now?" He tucked the rolly securely behind his ear before making another grab at the lighter. You hop up on the table and climb over to the other side. Soon Eddie was chasing you.

Steve pulled into the trailer park and cut his engine. Getting out, he heard you before he saw you. He followed the sound of your laughter and watched as Eddie Munson chased you around a picnic table. He stopped short and so did you. He faked you out before finally managing to grab you around the waist, hauling you up off the ground. The way you laughed and squealed made Steve's chest hurt. You never sounded that happy with him, you never laughed that hard or smiled that big. Steve wished he never ditched you at that party, he'd completely blown his chance for a girl he'd already lost. Part of him wanted to march down there and fight Eddie on the spot to win you back. But he had been knocked down enough pegs the past year to know when he was beat. He gave you one last glance before turning around and heading back to his car.

#eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things imagine #eddie munson x reader #complete

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sakannaz · 2 years

Text

𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓 | 𝘍𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬.

“Promise me something.” Eddie asked and you looked up at him, “promise me you’ll come back.” You sighed, “I promise.” You said, you didn’t know if you’d come back or not. It was something you couldn’t promise.

“Forgive me if I don’t come back.” You told him, “How could I not? I mean..after everything we’ve been through.” He said with a chuckle, then you heard a knock on the door.

“It’s open.” You slightly yelled, Jose appeared with Marcus and Jamie behind them, “Hey, so, I had a plan and everyone seemed to agree with it, may I tell you?” You nodded, Jose was so polite, where’d they get that from?

They sat from across you and Eddie. Marcus and Jamie doing the same.

“So, Marcus and Jamie will be in a group, with just the two of them. The others they’re fine, max and Lucas will also be in two groups, with just them. And also..since Vecna wants to kill you, you’ll have to be alone (Y/N).” You nodded in understanding, Eddie sighed. He didn’t like the thought of you being alone but if it’ll work he would have to lay off for a bit.

“Sure. Yeah I..I understand.” Jose nodded, Marcus and Jamie walked out of the room, before Jose walked out the room they looked back at the both of you, maybe this was a bad idea. But..saving the world comes with good and bad things.

Eddie turned back to you, “So..uhm..” you looked at him, “I know something is on your mind, what do you wanna ask me?” You questioned him, “Well..I was gonna ask if you were willing to play D&D after all this crazy shit is over?” He said, you smiled, “Of course.”

You heard a beeping sound to realize the time had ended, you stood up and looked at Eddie, He looked back at you with a smile, “See you soon?” He asked, you didn’t answer, You just nodded.

“Yeah, soon.” You mumbled before walking into the living room with the others, once you were in the living room everyone turned to you.

Max looked at you, “You’ll come back, right?” She asked, “You shouldn’t be worried about me max, I’m doing this to save your life. And if I don’t come back..Just know..I’m sorry.” You told her, she pulled you into a hug and you gladly accepted.

“I’m joining this hug too.” Jamie said and wrapped his arms around the both of you, “Me also.” Another voice said which revealed to be Jamie, then another pair of arms, and more, and more.

You smiled, “love you guys.” You mumbled, “We love you too.” Everyone said at the same time, once you pulled away from the hug you stood in the center of the room, you looked around one last time before sighing, you locked eyes with Eddie and gave him one last smile.

“Well..here I go.” You whispered to yourself before creating a portal and you saw the upside-down. You turned back and looked at everyone one last time.

They were home.

They were your friends.

The people looking back at you now mean’t everything to you.

“Goodbye..” you whispered before jumping into the portal and then you were just gone.

Steve and Nancy shared a worried look before looking away, “they will come back, right?” Steve said, Nancy instead didn’t answer, she didn’t know if you were coming back or not, your last words were ‘Goodbye’.

Everyone began to worry if you’d come back or not.

What if I told you..that maybe there was another way to deal with this situation? You fell to the ground with a harsh thud leaving an aching pain to your side, once you stood up you noticed you were in the bad side of Hawkins.

You began to walk around and you walked into the creel house, you saw the grandfather clock again, now it was raining, it wasn’t much rain that could get into the house though, how was it able to rain in the upside down?

Then you heard a low growl behind you, you slowly turned around to come face to face with the one you feared most.

Vecna.

Right now, In this moment, you were alone, you couldn’t do anything. He was going to kill you, without any hesitation this time.

But no, you were going to kill him.

“It’s time, your suffering, has end.”

Because Every ending, has a beginning.

#stranger things 4 #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington #dustin henderson #erica sinclair #jonathan byers #lucas sinclair #mike wheeler #nancy wheeler #will byers #argyle #robin buckley #eleven hopper #xreader #max mayfield

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buckleysjareau · 3 years

Note

this has been living rent free in my head pls go crazy with it

eddie trying to patch up buck’s wounds after he’s slightly injured on a call and buck saying he can do it himself, maybe eddie saying “well i’m willing to take care of you, i want to” at some point

unconditional, unadulterated / 1.8k you did tell me to go crazy...

It happens just as there’s a flashover. Buck just barely makes it out the front entrance of what used to be a two story home when the flashover happens and thanks to the adrenaline, there’s only a dull pain in his calf from landing on it rough during his escape. Even as Hen asks if he’s hurt anywhere, the ache— he wouldn’t even call it a pain— wasn’t even enough to mention.

As the adrenaline wears off, though, he realizes that it’s a little more than just an ache. It starts to hurt a touch more even as it’s resting on top of his turnout coat placed on the floor of the truck. It sucks but it’s manageable, nothing he hasn’t dealt with before. He only has to finish out the last hour of his shift then he can go home and ice it.

His optimism is dulled when the instant he puts pressure on it to walk he has to bite his tongue to keep from screaming at the pain that shoots up from his ankle to his knee. He swallows any more noises of discomfort as he tries not to noticeably limp to his gear rack, already knowing he’s not in the mood for Bobby to scold him for hiding an injury.

Which he’s not. He doesn’t think there’s any reason to say anything because he wasn’t injured. He was told that he’d might have pain flare ups for the rest of his life, this wasn’t new to him.

Except for the fact that it wasn’t a random flare up. He’d irritated an old injury by landing on it hard and there was a possibility, a small one, but still a possibility that it was injured. Finding even the thought of going to the hospital right now less than desirable is what’s keeping him from speaking up about the possibility.

“You alright, man?” Eddie’s voice pulls him out his head and it’s only then he realizes just how rough his breathing is as he tries to toe off the other boot.

He forces a smile that he hopes doesn’t resemble the grimace he thinks it does. “Yeah, never better. Tired though, that one took a lot out of me.”

Luck must be on his side tonight because Eddie doesn’t push him. There’s a little bit of disbelief in his eyes but he doesn’t push it.

Thankfully there’s no calls in the last hour of his shift and he didn’t have to move his leg until it was time to clock out. The desire to be home, in his bed, with his leg iced and elevated was almost immeasurable. He’d spent the last hour of his shift internalizing the worry that something could be hurt and if this shift alone wasn’t enough to fully drain him, the overthinking definitely helped.

He looked around him to see if anyone was around to catch him letting his guard down enough to limp and breathed out a sigh of relief when the only two people down there were people coming in from B shift. As he gets dressed into his civvies, he takes advantage of the empty locker room to openly wince and hiss whenever he’d put pressure on his leg.

He grits his teeth mid groan when Eddie walks in.

Please don’t say anything please don’t say anything please don’t say anything

“Hey, do you wanna follow me back to my place? Christopher has been dying to show you his new video game.” Eddie pauses before he smirks. “Well, I think what he said was more along the lines of he’s dying to crush you at his new video game.”

He wants to say yes, more than anything, but he just didn’t have the energy to pretend his leg wasn’t on fire the rest of the night.

Buck sighs. “Any other night I would, you know that, but I really think I just need my bed tonight.”

Something flashes in Eddie’s eyes but disappears quick enough for Buck to decipher it. “If there was something wrong, you’d tell me, right?”

Buck tries to reason with the guilt that comes when he promises Eddie that he absolutely would tell him if there was something wrong because it wasn’t a lie. Nothing was wrong, he was just in a little bit of pain. Like he kept telling himself, it wasn’t anything he hasn’t dealt with before.

The effort it took not to limp or cry out in pain as Eddie walked out with him was enough to drain him for the rest of the week.

And even as he wants to just cut off his own leg at that point, he can’t stop his heart from fluttering or his cheeks from reddening when Eddie waves at him as he drives away.

He focuses on the way Eddie makes him feel soft as he drives home instead of how bad it’s going to feel to walk up the stairs to his bed. It’s enough to get him home but by the time he’s unlocking his door, he’s out of breath from the walk from the elevator to his door.

He’s four steps up when the pain just becomes too much and he yells out as he collapses on his stairs.

As he squeezes his leg in hopes the pressure will help ease the pain he wishes he’d told someone he was hurt. He regrets not telling Bobby when he’d noticed it was more than an ache.

What if it’s another clot? It could very well be a blood clot, he’s been off of the blood thinners for a few months. Oh my God, Maddie is going to be so pissed.

He vows to never hide an injury again if he lives through this.

Then he realizes that the pain lessens just a little and he thinks maybe he can calm down because the pain that came with blood clots didn’t tend to simmer. Maybe he’s not dying and maybe the worst of the pain was over.

He’s too focused on massaging the pain away to hear the door open or the footsteps that made their way to him.

“I knew something wasn’t right.”

Buck startles, head snapping up at the sound of his best friend’s voice. When did he get here?

“Eddie? Why are you here?”

The brunette shakes his head, paces twice, then kneels in front of Buck. “I knew you were acting weird after that call. I saw the way you landed on your leg.”

“I’m,” a painful jolt that shoots up his leg cuts him off. “I’m fine, Eds.”

Eddie scoffs. “Yeah, you look real fine.”

“Not fake fine?” He can’t help himself from replying, grinning at the exasperated look on Eddie’s face.

He rolls his eyes before he stands and grabs onto Buck’s elbow. “C’mon, up you go!”

“No, no, Eddie… I can’t walk on it. Not like this.”

“You don’t have to. You’re gonna lean on me, okay? I won’t let it touch the floor.” He holds out his pinkie and Buck can’t stop the blush rushing to his cheeks at the treatment. He braces himself as he uses his upper body strength and Eddie as leverage to stand. Eddie threw his arm over his shoulder and gripped his side to keep him upright.

“Good?”

“Good.”

The journey to get from the stairs to his couch is a bit rocky at first but Eddie keeps his promise to not let it touch the floor.

“Now, do you have any pain medication you still take in case of flare ups?”

“Uh, no, not anymore. I just use Tiger Balm usually but we’re shit out of luck there. I ran out the last time this happened.”

Eddie’s expression softens, a grin adorning his face as he pulls something out of his jacket pocket. “Maybe not.”

He holds up a thing of Tiger Balm and if Buck wasn’t already in love with Eddie Diaz, that sight alone would have done it.

Eddie picks up on Buck’s expression before he can even ask the question. “Like I said, I knew something was off after the way you landed on that call so I stopped at the drugstore before I came here.”

Don’t tear up don’t tear up don’t tear up

Instead of handing it to Buck like he expected him to, Eddie is careful as he sits on the couch next to him and motions for him to move his leg towards him.

Buck scoots back and carefully moves his bad leg to rest on the couch instead of his coffee table. Eddie takes special care not to hurt him more than he was already hurting, whispering apologies whenever Buck winces. By the time he’s done maneuvering his leg it’s bent at the knee and the area where he feels the most pain is closest to Eddie.

“Does this feel any worse?”

Buck just shakes his head.

Between the soft look on Eddie’s face, his tender touches, and being so attentively cared for, Buck is left speechless.

“Eddie… you don’t have to do this. I can do this myself.” Buck has to stop himself from moaning when he massages a certain spot. “You should be home with Christopher.”

“I don’t have to, but I want to, okay?”

The way he says it is so tender and Buck’s heart flutters in his chest.

“Eds, that’s sweet, but you really don’t have to do this.”

Buck tenses when Eddie’s hand finds his and rubs a thumb over his knuckles that completely relaxes him.

“Buck, I’m willing to take care of you. This isn’t a hardship for me, okay? I want to do this, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. You always take care of me and it’s about time I return the favor so… let me help you?”

No amount of yelling at himself not to tear up stops the tears from blurring his vision. He’s so used to taking care of himself, he’s so used to dealing with the all encompassing pain alone and he never let himself feel the want of someone to care for him so he didn’t have to. Not until now, not until Eddie.

Eddie abruptly stops rubbing his leg and Buck whines at the loss of contact. “Hey, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

Buck shakes his head. “No one’s ever cared for me like this before. No one but you.”

He doesn’t flinch when a hand cups his cheek using their thumb to wipe away Buck’s tears.

“No one.”

“Well you better get used to it, Buck, because I care about you. So much. You don’t have to suffer alone anymore, okay? Just say the word.”

“I love you.” He blurts out.

Even with his eyes screwed shut from embarrassment Buck can hear the sincerity in Eddie’s voice as he repeats the sentiment.

His leg is long forgotten, the pain back to a dull ache.

The only things Buck feels are Eddie’s lips on his and unconditional, unadulterated love.

#it's not exactly what you asked for but i hope you like it!#this turned out way softer than i planned for it too #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 #my fics #my writing

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cyllaeth · 3 years

Text

“Weʼve made a horrible mistake”, Buck says when Eddie hands him over new bottle of beer. Diaz doesnʼt even have to look up or turn around to know what Buckʼs been talking about. Or rather who.

“Youʼre absolutely right. Theyʼre up to something. Definitely nothing good”, he sighs heavily and his eyes finally land on the three women sitting on the couch and talking about something very vigorously. “They looked at me when I went to the kitchen. And now theyʼre looking at us. Again.”

“We shouldnʼt have let them meet. Like ever”, Buck agrees. He has a strong feeling that it will bite them in the ass. Very soon. In this moment, Sophia looks at them with a grin on her face and Eddie just groans.

“Theyʼre scheming. I know the look and I shouldʼve predicted this because my sisters are always meddling. Although I didnʼt expect Maddie to be so eager to join them”, he adds and thereʼs a hint of accusation in his voice.

“You clearly donʼt know her that well. Believe me, that nice girl look is just a facade. Sheʼs horrible”, Buck declares and then laughs at his friend's horrified expression.

“You mean she's even worse than you?” asks Eddie playfully after a while.

“You are so sleeping on the couch tonight, Diaz”, Buck deadpans, elbowing him lightly. Heʼs not really offended; he likes to bicker with him and theyʼre both in very good mood. Theyʼre at the party at Grant-Nash house, surrounded by friends and they can truly enjoy their night off.

“It kinda implies that weʼre sleeping together in one bed so we should work on that first. And then you can kick me off to the couch”, Eddie winks at him and grins.

They hear someoneʼs gagging (most likely to be Chim) and Henʼs muttering Lord help me from behind but they don't really pay attention to it. Theyʼre only focused on each other now, which happens fairly often when they get carried away with the flirting. Recently, it got even more shameless—and, god, they love to tease each other and make innuendos. Eddie loves how easy and natural it is—he was never a cocky playboy type and flirting wasnʼt his best skills. But with Buck... He just canʼt help himself. Not if his best friend responds the way he does.

“So...”, Eddie says and his eyes travel to Buckʼs lips who wets them unintentionally. He fights the urge to capture them with his mouth because Buckʼs his best friend and he canʼt kiss him in the room full of people. Not that he can kiss him when theyʼre alone.

Someone clears throat loudly and the tension is broken. Eddie blinks and looks around—he feels quite embarrassed because once again he let himself fantasise about Buck—and he meets Maddieʼs very knowing smirk. He hopes he doesnʼt have his feelings written all over his face and she didnʼt pick them up.

“Iʼm going to the bathroom”, announces Buck suddenly and he gets up suspiciously quickly and practically runs away to the place.

Eddie wonders if he should go after him. He wants to; heʼs not sure how it would end. He doesnʼt even have the time to decide because his sisters got up and theyʼre going in his direction.

“Whereʼs your loverboy?”, asks Sophia, nudging him softly to move a little bit to make more room for her and Adriana.

“He, uh, went to the bathroom”, Eddie rubs off his neck; he still feels embarrassed and heʼs sure that if he was pale, his cheeks would have been red as Adrianaʼs dress sheʼs wearing tonight.

“I hope he will come back quickly, I havenʼt got a chance to talk with him yet” says Adriana, “although I think Maddie will be my new favourite Buckley.”

“I wonder why”, Eddie snorts and looks around to find Buckʼs sister but thereʼs no sign of her and he suspects she went off to see her brother. “You three were plotting, werenʼt you?”

“Thatʼs very serious accusation, Eddie. Iʼd be very careful with making any. You donʼt know what can we do in revenge”. Sophiaʼs voice is amused, teasing; almost as usually. But Eddie knows Diaz women too well and he picks up something more, something he canʼt even name yet.

“We were just making friends”, adds Adriana and she shrugs her arms. “I am really glad I got to meet your coworkers. Theyʼre wonderful people. And Buck has an amazing sister.”

“Yeah, Maddieʼs great”, agrees Eddie. He realises, heʼs quite close to both of Buckley siblings—despite what Buck says—because he spends with them most of his free time. Obviously, Buckʼs his favourite but Maddie has slowly become his third sister. And Christopher adores her almost as much as her brother. Buckleys have that effect on people, he thinks with fondness. He seriously has no idea what would he do without them. Theyʼre really making his life better in many ways. He drifted away with his thoughts so he tries to focus on conversation heʼs in. “Although I wish you wouldnʼt try to convince her to join you with your evil plans.”

Both Sophia and Adriana laugh, looking at his brother with very amused, almost identical expression.

“Oh Edmundo, whereʼs your trust? Why are you always assume weʼre plotting?”, asks Sophia very innocently.

“Or that we are the oneʼs to convince Maddie to do the bad things. Have you thought maybe itʼs the other way around?”, adds Adriana.

She has a point, though, but Eddie doesnʼt want to believe them. Maddie has to be less evil than his sisters. He still hasnʼt figured out yet why were they scheming or whoʼs gonna be their next victim but he has a hunch.

Thankfully, he spots Buckʼs coming back which saves him from replying to his sisters. His best friend still looks slightly embarrassed; the tips of his ears are red and it piques Eddieʼs interest. Then, he notices Maddieʼs right behind him and she looks very pleased. Both Buckleys stop by the couch Diaz siblings are sitting at.

“Eddie, would you mind drive Buck to his apartment? Heʼs not feeling that well and I donʼt want him go alone”, Maddie asks. Buck rolls his eyes and he looks mildly irritated now.

“I donʼt feel bad”, he scoffs. “And Iʼm an adult, I can go back to my home alone.”

“Itʼs not a problem”, reassures him Eddie, getting up from the couch. Itʼs true; helping Buck is never a problem. Plus, itʼs very good excuse to talk to him alone. Somewhere when his sisters wouldnʼt eavesdrop. Or their coworkers. “Letʼs go. Addie, Soph, Iʼll come back and take you home too.”

“Oh, no need. Weʼll get an Uber”, Adriana says and Eddie only nods.

He goes to Bobby and Athena to say goodbye and then shoots a look in Buckʼs direction. The blonde follows him quietly and Eddie really wants to know why his mood changed that quickly.

They step outside; itʼs a warm, cloudless night—perfect for romantic dates including stargazing.

“Are you OK?”, asks Eddie when theyʼre in Eddieʼs truck. His voice is filled with concern and he tries to read his friendʼs mind but he doesnʼt even look up.

“Iʼm fine”, Buck mumbles, his eyes still focused on his knees as if there was something more interesting to observe than look into Eddieʼs eyes.

“Youʼre not. Something has happened when you went to the bathroom, I know it. Was it Maddie? Did she tell you something?”, Eddie doesnʼt buy this shit and heʼs determined to find out the truth. “Buck”, he pats his knee gently. “What did she say?”

“Itʼs—uhm—itʼs not really that awful. She...”, Buck bites his tongue but eventually, he decides to go on and he looks at Eddie. “She was just teasing me too much and I got annoyed.”

“My awful sisters probably encouraged her to annoy you a little bit”, admits Eddie and then smiles at his best friend. “At least she has let you go and now you can do whatever you want. You wanna go with me? Christopherʼs probably asleep but I have your favourite beer. And you can crash on my couch.”

Eddieʼs invitation is very spontaneous; he didnʼt plan to spend the rest of evening with Buck but if thereʼs a chance to even just watch movie with him and then go to sleep, heʼll gladly take it.

“Deal.” Buckʼs response is almost immediate and his grin is almost blinding.

—☾—

Buckley-Diaz sisters grand scheme reminds about itself when Eddie gets an invitation to his sisters in El Paso. Heʼs not the only one, though. Buck and Maddie also are invited.

“Why would they invite both me and Maddie? Maddie already said yes, she takes Joy and Chim with us”, complains Buck when theyʼre cleaning firetruck on the shift. “Anyway, are you OK with me and Maddie visiting your family?”

“Why would I be not OK with it? Itʼs not like you donʼt know them already. My parents will be thrilled to see you”, says Eddie. “And Iʼm glad youʼll be here. At least I wonʼt have to face Sophia, Adriana and Maddie alone. You have to suffer with me”, he adds and winks at his best friend.

He knows this invitation has something to do with the party at Grant-Nash house when their sisters have met. And that both Sophia and Adriana have some wicked ideas involving him and Buck probably too but he still wants Buck by his side.

“Great, so Iʼm only there to be traumatised by your sisters instead of you?”, jokes Buck and kicks Eddie in the shin.

“Ow, that hurts, Buckley!”, Eddie hisses and still smiles despite the pain.

“Quit pulling pigtails, dinnerʼs almost ready”, they hear Chimʼs voice from above and they immediately raise their heads.

“Fine, weʼre going”, sighs Eddie and waits until Chimʼs gone to look at Buck. “Seriously, Iʼm glad they invited you too. I mean, we have to be careful but I still think itʼll be nice weekend.”

—☾—

Itʼs nice indeed. Drive to El Paso was long and exhausting but theyʼve managed to survive without serious injuries (although Joy really tried to make them deaf and she only felt asleep in Buckʼs arms). Sophia and Adriana welcomed them with a huge smiles and amazing food. Theyʼve decided to put Maddie with Chim and Joy in Adrianaʼs house to sleep and Buck wouldʼve slept with Eddie and Chris in Sophiaʼs house. And now, theyʼre just hanging out. Itʼs late and all kids are already asleep (Addieʼs husband offered to take care of them, even Joy) so adults can let themselves loosen up a little bit.

“So who wants to play Truth or Dare?”, asks Sophia, nursing bottle of beer in her hands. Sheʼs already slightly drunk, just as the rest of them—minus Maddie whoʼs feeding the baby so she prefers not to have alcohol in her bloodstream.

“Oh, Iʼm definitely in”, says Chimney, raising his hand up as if he wants to make sure everyone heard him.

“And so am I. I used to play it in high school before I met Doug and I kinda forgot how to have proper fun”. Thereʼs hint of nostalgia in Maddieʼa voice but she smiles brightly anyway. Adriana says yes and Buck replies me too without even thinking.

Itʼs Eddie who hesitates. Oh, heʼs definitely having fun and he appreciates that his sisters made it happen. Itʼs just—

He noticed earlier how Maddie disappeared with his sisters and they were back after half of an hour and they kept talking in a hushed voices whenever they saw him or Buck. Which is very suspicious; not to mention that Sophia and Adriana have been teasing him about his feelings for Buck even more in the past weeks. He hasnʼt told them but theyʼre not stupid and he hasnʼt been exactly subtle when it comes to showing affection to Buck. Heʼs afraid that they might say something stupid, something that Buck will figure out. And he doesnʼt want it—heʼs okay with them being only friends—anything that doesnʼt ruin what theyʼve already built.

“Iʼll pass”, he finally says and heʼs met with five disappointed gazes. They can be disappointed now but they will forget about it as soon as they sober up, right?

“Iʼve never pegged you as a coward.”

Of course itʼs Buck who says this sentence. Eddie looks at him and regrets it. Buckʼs smirking and thereʼs challenge in his eyes. Eddie knows this look by now because itʼs not the first time Buck makes him do something stupid and reckless.

“Fine, Iʼm in”, he lets out a heavy sigh and rolls his eyes. He really needs to learn how to not take a bait from Buckley.

“Excellent!”, sings Sophia and the game begins.

—☾—

One hour later theyʼre more drunk and very, very giggly. Questions and tasks get more crazy and hilarious—but they donʼt back off and do everything with a smiles on their faces. Eddieʼs now sure he was completely wrong about the scheme until he decides to take dare instead of truth and itʼs Sophiaʼs turn to come up with the task.

“I dare you to... Kiss Buck!”

Eddie almost drops his bottle of beer. He mustʼve misheard this, right? Thereʼs no way Sophia wouldʼve done this. He looks at her and she doesnʼt shy away. “Should I repeat the dare?”, she asks instead, making very innocent face.

“No” comes out of his mouth and heʼs surprised how hoarse his voice is.

“Soph, I donʼt think this is a good idea”, he hears Buckʼs voice but he doesnʼt register the words. Then Buck turns around to face him and his eyes are filled with worry and concern but thereʼs something else. Maybe hope? Eddie doesnʼt know how to name it. “If youʼre not comfortable with it, then donʼt do it”, Buck says quietly.

“Are you? I mean, not comfortable?”, Eddie manages only to whisper. They donʼt notice that rest of their group is so quiet like theyʼre not even here. Once again theyʼre only focused on each other; somehow theyʼre so close to each other thereʼs barely a free space between them.

“I donʼt think Iʼd ever be uncomfortable with you kissing me”, Buck simply states and itʼs everything Eddie needs to hear. He closes the space between them and kisses him. Firstly, itʼs very tentative—like Eddieʼs still not sure if itʼs the things his best friend wants. But Buck isnʼt the one to chicken out. He grabs him by the collar of his shirt and brings him closer as he deepens the kiss. It quickly becomes more heated—Eddie moans softly when Buck slides his tongue into his mouth. Buck pushes him slightly to be able to straddle him and they accidentally roll over abandoned beer bottle.

They break apart laughing and they finally notice that thereʼs nobody but them in the living room.

“Uh, when did they go out?”, asks Buck and Eddieʼs in awe when he sees his disheveled hair, swollen lips and pink-tinted cheeks. Itʼs amazing look on him, he thinks.

“I donʼt care”, he says and grins mischievously. “Maybe our sisters were right to meddle because Iʼm pretty sure that was their intention.”

“Thank God they did that because you would never kiss, wouldnʼt you?”, mocks Buck but heʼs quickly silenced by another kiss.

Maybe sometimes having sisters isnʼt that bad.

Find it on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30619118

#911 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #buck x eddie #buddie fic #buddie ficlet #911 fic #lucy writes #lucy's attempt to write #in this house we stan diaz sisters #buckley-diaz sisters grand scheme #i know it's dumb and silly #but hope you like it anyway #chaotic writing

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t4twolfstar · 3 years

Text

Pearl Jam songs as the marauders' story

listen here

explanations under read more

Red Mosquito - Remus is bit by Greyback

two steps ahead of him, punctures in your neck…/ Hoverin' just above your bed... (2x)/ I was bitten...must have been the devil…/ He was just paying me…/ A little visit, reminding me of his presence…

Jeremy - most of the song, Sirius

Okay so we’re going to look at the verses not the refrain for this one bc (TW su*) this song is based on an actual boy who diy died in front of his class so like no we’re not relating to that part but the “Clearly I remember/ Pickin’ on the boy/ Seemed a harmless little fuck/ But we unleashed the lion….Daddy didn't give affection, no/And the boy was something that mommy wouldn't wear”

Daughter - Sirius at home

Trans sirius in an abusive household………. “Mother reads aloud, child tries to understand it/Tries to make her proud/ The shades go down, it's in her head/ Painted room, can't deny that something's wrong/ Don’t call me daughter, not fit to”

Leash - Sirius and Remus’ toxic codependent love and then yelling at the establishment/people who say they’re too young going too deep too hard too fast

“Troubled souls unite/ We got ourselves tonight, oh/ I am fuel you are friends we got the means to make amends/ I am lost I'm no guide but I'm by your side/ I am right by your side….We will find a way we will find our place/ Drop the leash drop the leash/Get outta' my fuckin' face”

Why Go? - Sirius becoming disenchanted w his family

Trans Sirius too of course. She seems to be stronger/ But what they want/ Her to be is weak/ She could play pretend/ She could join the game, boy/ She could be another clone….don’t come visit/mother/ why go home?

Blood - Sirius’ family trying to make him into something he’s not

Spin me round/ Roll me over/ Fucking circus/ Stab it down/ One way needle/ Pulled so slowly/ Drains and spills/ Soaks the pages/ Fills their sponges/ It’s my blood/ It’s my blood

WMA - basically about all the big pureblood families that can get away w anything

“He won the lottery when he was born/ Took his mothers white breast to his tongue/ Do no wrong so clean cut/ Dirty his hands, it comes right off” (tw for song: police, implied police violence)

Do the Evolution - Sirius ranting abt/mocking his family

Admire me, admire my home/ Admire my son, he's my clone…./ I'll do what I want but irresponsibly/ It’s evolution, baby/ I’m a thief, I'm a liar/ There’s my church, I sing in the choir:/ (Hallelujah, hallelujah)

Bushleaguer - abt the aristocracy etc

This song is literally about George bush lmao but I love it abt the upper class

“Born on third, thinks he got a triple…./The aristocrat choir sings, "what's the ruckus?”/ The haves have not a clue/ The immenseness of suffering”

Mind your manners - You guessed it - Sirius rejecting his family

I've got an unfortunate feelin’/ I've been beaten down/I feel I don't believe/ And now the truth is coming out/ What they've taken is more than a vow/ They’ve taken your innocence/ And then they throw them on a burning fire/ All along they're sayin’/ Mind your manners

My father’s son - SIRIUS

I am my father's son,/ Yeah, too bad he was a psychopath and now I'm the next in line, , dear mother, yes, surely she's a work of art,…/Can I get a reprieve?/ This gene pool dark and deep…./Now father you're dead and gone and I'm finally free to be me,/ Thanks for all your dark gifts for which I've got no sympathy,/ I’m living in a walled-up place in the bounds of 5th symphony

Yellow Ledbetter - Sirius

Okay so 97% of the the lyrics are indecipherable when Eddie sings them but you can hear I don’t wanna stay

Go - Regulus to Sirius as he’s trying to leave

(Abuse tw) So sorry about this one yall …… .but yes I think this is regulus finally realizing that he shouldn’t have let things get so bad at home (Sirius blames him for not stepping in even tho he’s a child there’s nuance here etc) and he’s begging Sirius not to leave him here “Oh please don't go out on me don't go out on me now/ Never acted up before don't go on me now/ I swear I never took it for granted just thought of it now/ Suppose I abused you just passing it on….I pulled the covers over him shoulda' pulled the alarm/ Turned to my nemesis…Please don't go on me/ Don’t go on me/ Don’t go on me/ Don’t go on me/ please”

Rearviewmirror - Sirius running away

(Tw abuse) Time to emancipate/ I guess it was the beatings made me wise….Forced to endure/ What I could not forgive/ I seem to look away/ Wounds in the mirror waved/ It wasn't my surface most defiled

Can’t Keep - Sirius running away from home

I want to shake/ I want to wind out/ I want to leave/ This mind and shout/ I’ve lived/ All this life/ Like an ocean/ In disguise/ I don't live for ever/ You can't keep/ Me here

Hail, Hail - Remus and Sirius’ codependent strong love

A how I love you till the day I die...ah and beyond…/ are we going to the same place? If so, can I come?/ It’s egg rollin' thick and heavy...all the past we carry…

Release - Remus thinking about his dad

Remus’ dad is so full of guilt for his hand in remus’ transformations that he extracted himself from remus’ life. Remus laments here, “Oh, dear dad/ Can you see me now?/ I am myself/ Like you somehow” “I'll hold the pain/Release me” he’d would rather have a dad, guilt and all, here, than the self appointed absence but since you left me with the absence and grief and loss of it, at least release me from it, loosen your grip so I can move on.

Present Tense - Sirius and Remus talking probably laying in the forbidden forest assuaging one another’s beliefs of the gnarled beasts they think they are

BUGS - prob remus when he turns before the boys know

Bugs on my ceiling/ Crowded the floor/ Standing sitting kneeling…/ A few block the door/ And now the question’s:/ Do I kill them?/ Become their friend?/ Do I eat them?/ Do I join them?/ I’ll just stop now/ I’ll become naked/ And with the...I'll become one

Who you are - probably James at remus when he thinks he’s a big monster

Who are we?/ Who we are./ What’s your part? Who you are / You are who you are.

Save you - GOD THIS SONGG okay this is probably James @ Sirius when home life is bad and also Sirius @ Remus and also Remus @ Sirius it’s all of them @ all of them

Gonna save you fucker, not gonna lose you/ Feeling cocky and strong, can't let you go,/ Too important to me/ Too important to us, we'd be lost without you/ Baby, let yourself fall, I'm right below you now/ And fuck me if I say something you don't want to hear/ And fuck if you only hear what you want to hear/ Fuck me if I care, but I'm not leaving here/ You helped me when I was down, I'll help when you're down/ Why are you hitting yourself, c'mon hit me instead

Life Wasted - Sirius @ Reg re: leaving

I escaped it, a life wasted./ I’m never going back again…./ You're always saying you're too weak to be Strong./ You’re harder on yourself than just about Anyone/ Why swim the channel just to get this far?/ Halfway there, why would you turn around?

Severed Hand - Reg joins the death eaters

Big man stands behind an open door/ Said, leave your lady on the cement floor./ Got some kicks, want to take a ride?/ I said, yeah!/ Oh please understand I just need, my friend,/ A way a way a way home

Brain of J. - Reg and Sirius arguing after he joins the death eaters

The whole world will be different soon/ The whole world will be relieving/ You, you've been taught/ We’d been the same, now they got you in line/ Stand behind the stripes/ There will be order, so give it a good mind…./And by name/ The name they gave me/ The name I'm letting go

Deep - Regulus knows he’s in too deep

This is Regulus knowing he’s in too deep, Voldemort and the death eaters are such bad fucking people and he’s in too deep now (massive tw for this song for drugs and se*ual violence)

“Ponders his Maker, ponders his will/ in too deep/ can’t touch the bottom”

Pilate - Remus abt Sirius ;0)

Like Pilate I have a dog/ (Obeys listens kisses loves)/ Walks me out of town/ Still one's a crowd/ Making angels in the dirt/ Looking up looking all around

You Are - in love 🥰

Love is a tower/ Of strength to me/ I am the shoreline/ But you're the sea

Red Bar - the war begins

War, I’m crazy/ War I’m crazy I’m war the song is also a lil goofy so it’s maybe just like going crazy being so in it that it’s funny now

Porch - WARTIME EVERYONE @ THEIR LOVERS

It’s the war and everyone knows today could be their last day and tensions are running high in relationships and they love each other so much and need each other but snap at one another nonetheless

What the fuck is this world running to?/ You didn't leave a message/ At least I could have learned your voice one last time/ Daily minefield, this could be my time by you/ Would you hit me? Would you hit me?/ Hear my name, take a good look/ This could be the day/ Hold my hand, walk beside me

Thin Air - babes in love

There's a light, when my baby's in my arms,/ There’s a light, when the window shades are drawn…/ And I know she's reached my heart, in thin air.

All or None - More war time songs soz

Here's the selfless confession/ Leading me back to war/ Can we help that our destinations/ Are the ones we've been before?/ I still try to run on/ But it's all or none

Parting Ways - Lily @ James during the war

She knows their future's burning/ But she can smile just the same, same/ And though her mood is fine today/ There’s a fear they'll soon be parting ways

Love Boat Caption - Sirius/Remus, Lily/James, etc etc. during the war

Love boat captain/ Take the reigns and steer us towards the clear, here/ It’s already been sung, but it can't be said enough/ All you need is loveIt's an art to live with pain/ Mix the light into grey/ Lost nine friends we'll never know/ Two years ago today/ And if our lives became too long/ Would it add to our regret?…./Hold me and make it the truthThat when all is lost, there will be you

Evacuation - going into hiding

Lukin- Lily and James have to go into hiding

(Tw st*lking mention in explanation, gun mention in song) The song was written by Eddie when he was being stalked and he had to bring himself and his wife to a friend’s house for safety.

In Hiding - Lily and James are in hiding and enter Peter

No way in or out/ I turned and walked the hallways/ And pulled the curtains down…./I swallow the truth to keep from lying/ i'm no longer overwhelmed and it seems so simple now/ Yeah, it's funny how things change so much/ It’s all state of mind

Once - Peter Pettigrew betraying the marauders

Literally about someone committing a mass murder. “Once upon a time I could control myself.” “Mimic whats insane.”

Around the Bend - I'm so sorry ummm but Lily to Harry on Halloween 💀

I am wishing you a well…./ I hold your head deep in my arms/ My fingertips, they close your eyes/ Off you dream, my little child/ There’s a sun around the bend/ Please forgive me, won't you, dear?/ Please forgive and let me share with you, around the bend/ You’re an angel when you sleep/ How I want your soul to keep, on and on around the bend

Garden - Sirius being taken to Azkaban

He’s just taking his fate as it comes to him.

The direction of the eye/ So misleading/ The defection of the soul/ Nauseously quick/I will walk, with my hands bound/ I will walk, with my face blood/ I will walk, with my shadow flag/ Into your garden/ Garden of stone

Even flow - IS SO VERY MUCH SIRIUS IN AZKABAN

sung from the pov of an incarcerated person waiting for life to begin again

BUGS - Sirius in Azkaban (yes I already said this abt remus but idc)

Black - Remus lamenting about Sirius’ perceived deception

Remembering their love and how now so many of his memories are tainted (by) black and that all of this has changed him fundamentally (star imagery, “black”, “tattooed everything”)

Indifference - Sirius in grimmauld place, sirius in Azkaban

Sirius taking his home life in stride until he can leave, taking Azkaban in stride bc it doesn’t matter any way bc he believes he deserve it anyway

“Pretend I'm free to roam/ I will make my way/ Through one more day in hell/ How much difference does it make?/ How much difference does it make?/ I will hold the candle/ Till it burns up my arm/ Oh, I'll keep takin' punches/ Until their will grows tired/ Oh, I will stare the sun down/ Until my eyes go blind/ Hey, I won't change direction/ And I won't change my mind/ How much difference does it make?/ How much difference does it make?/ I’ll swallow poison, until I grow immune/ I will scream my lungs out till it fills this room”

Alive - Remus post ’81

Eddie originally wrote the song as a lament - why did I live when he didn’t? Why am I still alive?

“Is something wrong she said, of course there is, you’re still alive she said, but do I deserve to be?”

Animal - Remus after ’81 when he needs to transform alone

Feat. A throwback to being turned (so tw: abd*ction) “Torture from you to me, yeah/Abducted from the street/I'd rather be with an animal”

Nothingman - Sirius and Remus after ’81

Once divided nothing left to subtract/ Some words when spoken can't be taken back/ Walks on his own with thoughts he can't help thinking/ Future’s above but in the past he's slow and sinking…./ She once believed in every story he had to tell/ One day she stiffened took the other side/ Empty stares from each corner of a shared prison cell/ One just escapes one's left inside the well

Smile - Remus @ the marauders (except it’s after ’81 and he just thinks of them fondly)

Don't it make you smile?/ I miss you already/ I miss you always/ I miss you already/ I miss you all day/ This is how I feel/ Three crooked hearts swirls all around/ Don’t it make you smile?

In my tree - remus abt sirius after ’81

I remember him, yeah…/ I swore I knew everything, oh yeah…/ They say knowledge is a dream, yeah…/ He's growing up just like me, yeah…

Light Years - Remus abt Sirius

But now you're gone, I haven't figured out why/ I’ve come up with riddles and jokes about war/ I’ve figured out numbers and what they're for/ I’ve understood feelings and I've understood words/ But how could you be taken away?/ Back pages and days alone that could have been spent/ Together, but we were miles apart Every inch between us becomes light years now

I’m open - Remus!!!! Post ’81

After spending half his life searching he still felt as blank/ As the ceiling at which he stared/ He is alive but feels absolutely nothing/ So is he?/ When he was six he believed that the moon overhead followed him/…..So this is what it's like to be an adult/ If he only knew now what he knew then

Thumbing my Way - Remus post ’81 again blah blah ikik

I can't be free with what's locked inside of me/ If there was a key you took it in your hand/ There’s no wrong or right but I'm sure there's good and bad/ The questions linger overhead

Rats - we know how remus like to soliloquize …. This is him waxing poetic about how fucking horrible Peter is

The song itself is kind of listing the many ills of humankind saying how rats don’t compare to people bc they don’t do all this. But Peter isnt really a rat. He’s a man and oppresses like a man and betrays like a man and takes like a man.

“Drink the blood of their so-called best friend….They don't scurry when something bigger comes their way….Don't take what's not theirs“

Oceans - Sirius escaping Azkaban

Hold on to the thread/ The currents will shift, glide me towards/ You know something's left/ And we're all allowed to dream of the next…..The sea will rise/ Please stand by the shore/ I will be there once more

Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town - Sirius after Azkaban

200004309248% sirius returning from 12 years isolated. He doesn’t really recognize most things. Remus wouldn’t recognize him. He’s different. Changed by being unchanged. He couldn’t grow and learn and morph and become. He stagnated yet decayed. But he’s back and he recognizes your skin and your breath. He’s back.

Off He Goes - Sirius is a Sagittarius in the first half, second half is post PoA

Know a man his face seemed pulled and tense/ Like he's riding on a motorbike in the strongest winds/ So I approach with tact/ Suggest that he should relax/ But he's always movin' much too fast/ Said he'll see me on the flip side/ On this trip he's taken for a ride…./ And now I rub my eyes for he has returned/ Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned/ For he still smiles and he's still strong/ Nothing’s changed, but the surrounding bullshit, that has grown/ And now he's home, and we're laughing, like we always did/ My same old, same old friend/ Until a quarter-to-ten

All Those Yesterdays - and cue the bath scene, remus washes his lost love

Don't you think you oughta rest?/ Don’t you think you oughta lay you head down?/ You don't think there's time to stop/ There’s time enough for you to lay your head down tonight tonight/ Let it wash away/ All those yesterdays

#literally put me down #unless you like it #then kiss me #some of these are big brain and i do want yall to read it at least but i also know I'm like a feral dog rn so it's ok #text post #long post #read more #playlist #pearl jam #marauders #harry potter #hp hc #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #lily evans

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octoberobserver · 4 years

Text

“Just To Dream In The Moonlight” - (Eddie Can Sing)

Richie Tozier was on a date.

Eddie Kaspbrak was not.

Instead, he was at home, the home he had been sharing with Richie for five months now, hunched over his laptop at the kitchen table and steadily building up a knot in the base of his spine because he was too fucking old for this shit.

Fuck his life.

He had died, come back, divorced his wife, moved half-way across the country, only to find himself working from home on a Saturday night while his roommate, best friend and, oh yeah, love of his pathetic fucking life, went out to dinner with some handsome, single, ‘Instagram model.’

I mean, what the fuck even is that anyway?

Eddie knew this day would come, of course. Had seen it almost instantly after Richie came out, live on stage.

Richie was a catch. He was funny, smart, and…yeah, he’d admit, handsome. Bev was right. He did ‘grow into his looks.’

So, it didn’t take a genius to realise that him coming out would soon draw the attention of all the eligible men within a hundred mile radius and for them to show their interest. They’d be fools not to.

And you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you, Kaspbrak?

With a groan, Eddie dragged a palm down his face, snapping his laptop shut and pushing it away from him.

He had to cut out this wallowing bullshit. It wasn’t a good look, at all.

Richie was on a date and that was…good.

Right?

Eddie, as a good friend, should think that’s a good thing.

Then again - has Eddie always been a good friend?

With a roll of his eyes, he shut down that line of thinking, knowing it was the blame of the two glasses of wine he had just inhaled while pouring over Teddy’s illegible ‘reports’ while trying to ignore what Richie could possibly be doing right about now.

Or who, his mind added scathingly.

Shaking his head, Eddie mentally-scolded himself for his stupid, jealous streak.

Richie had left just over an hour ago, throwing him a half-hearted wave, muttering a low, “Won’t be long, Eds. Trust me,” and snapping the door shut behind him.

It hardly screamed a guy who intended on having a little Wham, Bam, Thank you, Sam.

Not that there’s anything wrong with a one-night-stand. Richie is a consenting adult, Eddie’s treacherous brain reminded him.

Despite this, Richie had insisted, all this week that it was “practically a business dinner.” Something that his publicist had apparently set up that was more than a little mandatory for some bullshit-Hollywood-reason.

Richie had not seemed too psyched about it either. Lamenting to Eddie more than once that he didn’t have time for “aging-ex-Disney-stars-looking-for-the-ultimate-selfie-or-whatever.”

But that had been before he had seen the picture.

Up-and-coming actor and singer, Dylan Lemass was…hot. Even Eddie could concede that.

And, he was a little more age-appropriate (at 33) than most guys DMing Richie at four in the morning.

Richie hadn’t been quite quick enough at hiding his impressed eyebrow quirk at the picture sent to him by Bev after some googling.

“He looks…nice,” Eddie had ground out through clenched jaw, heart panging as Richie began to nod.

“Uh, yeah. I guess. If…if that’s your type.”

“Richie, that guy is everybody’s type.”

He had looked at Eddie then, something indecipherable on his face.

“I’m not usually into…blonds.”

Usually.

That had been the only word to ring in Eddie’s head.

“Well,” he forced himself to shrug, punching Richie harder than he intended on the shoulder, “just see how it goes. You never know…he might…he might be your Mr Right.”

Fuck, actually, Eddie was a damn good friend, okay? He had encouraged Richie, “Mr Right” and all that shit, and helped him pick between two (admittedly ugly) shirts and everything.

He was friend of the fucking year.

Friend.

Just a friend.

With a sigh, he crossed to the fridge, fully intending to help himself to the leftover cheesecake that Richie had bought them in celebration of four months of Eddie allowing himself dairy again.

“I know you belong to somebody new,” he sang under his breath, the old song he had heard on the radio this morning continuing to be an ear-worm, “but tonight, you belong to me.”

He crossed the kitchen to get a spoon from the drawer, because it was an eating-straight-from-the-container-despite-that-being-gross kinda night, and sticking it directly into the strawberry mousse.

“Although we’re apart, you’re a part of my heart,” he continued, cheesecake in one hand and picking up his half-empty glass with the other, making his way out to the couch.

“But tonight, you belong to—”

“A bit of Eddie Vedder, huh? Eddie squared, I like it.”

He jumped so high that his red wine sloshed dangerously close to the rim of the glass.

“Fuck, Richie! Don’t scare me like that, dipshit!”

The man in question snorted out a laugh from his position at the front door, keys still in hand, jacket half off one shoulder.

“I did say ‘honey I’m home,’ Eds. Not my fault you were too busy crooning to notice.”

Eddie’s face flushed as he collected himself, carefully depositing his glass and cheesecake on the coffee table before straightening up and tilting his head at his friend.

“You’re home early.”

He didn't mean for it to sound as accusatory as it did.

He winced.

“I mean, uh…how’d the date go?”

Richie’s face was pretty expressionless as he shrugged.

“We wined, dined and sixty-nined. Just how I like it.”

Eddie’s mouth dropped open.

“Wha—”

“I’m kidding, Eddie, Jesus,” Richie held up his hands as he kicked off his shoes, leaving them by Eddie’s on the rack by the door and padding over in his socks to the couch, sinking down into it with a loud sigh.

“It went exactly like I thought it would,” he mumbled to the ceiling, slipping his glasses up his forehead to rest in his hair, his eyes falling closed.

Eddie watched him for a moment, unsure what to do, before taking a seat beside him, turning to properly look at him.

He seemed…tired. Weary.

Sad?

Shit.

Time for Eddie to be a good friend.

“Well, fuck that guy, Rich,” he reached out and clasped Richie’s arm. “He’s clearly a dumbass if he can’t see what a fucking catch you are.”

Slowly, those dark eyes that Eddie loved so much blinked open, meeting his with something indistinguishable glimmering in them.

“Thanks, Eddie.”

It was the most sincere Eddie had heard his friend be in a long time.

It made his heart skip a beat.

Quietly, he reached out and picked up the glass and cheesecake, holding it out.

“Wanna watch that new Chris Hansen exposé?”

A small smile crossed Richie’s face, breaking through the weariness like a soothing balm.

“Sounds like a plan, Eds Spagheds.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, throwing the remote at him before standing up.

“I’m opening another bottle. Don’t start without me.”

He crossed the room, into the kitchen and towards the fridge.

“He couldn’t sing for shit either, Eds,” Richie called after him, sounding pained. “He made me suffer through like four YouTube videos of him squawking his way through covers. I wanted to use the steak knife to stab out my own eardrums. It was fucking torture, man. You’re a hell of a lot nicer to listen to.”

Eddie froze, bottle in hand, the soft, unthinking compliment making him blush from head to toe.

“Eddie Vedder is technically a cover too,” he reminded him as he fought (and failed) to keep the grin from his face.

“Yeah, I know but…least it’s not the Patience and Prudence version. Talk about creepy. That’s some Children-of-the-Corn-type shit.”

Eddie snorted out a laugh as he made his way back into the living room, sinking down into the couch, his stomach lurching as his thigh pressed against Richie’s.

Richie held out his cheesecake-topped spoon, dangling it in Eddie’s face and making obnoxious airplane noises.

“Want some before I infect it with my Trashmouth germs, Eds? It’s a one time deal. I know how you feel about double-dipping.”

Eddie leaned forward, closing his mouth around the spoon, eyes gluing to Richie’s as he swallowed the bite and pulled back slowly.

Richie’s eyes were the size of saucers, clearly shocked that Eddie had called his bluff.

“Uh, I…” he cleared his throat, “it’s good?”

Eddie smirked, “Yeah, it’s good.”

“Cool.”

They lapsed into a short silence, Richie shifting to face the TV just as Chris Hansen popped up and launched into his latest case.

“Thanks, Eds. For the uh…cheesecake.”

He nodded, deciding not to comment as Richie kicked his feet up onto the coffee table, his shoulder pressing into his as he slowly, carefully, raised the spoon to his own lips.

Eddie blushed like a teenager as he kept his gaze firmly on the TV, trying not to think about the fact that Richie so easily put his mouth somewhere Eddie just had his.

At about the twenty-five minute mark, Eddie felt a soft, familiar pressure close to his neck.

Tilting his head ever so slightly, he saw that Richie had fallen asleep, his cheek pressed into Eddie’s shoulder, his glasses askew.

A small smile spread across his face as Eddie let his own head tip back a little, resting against the couch, the lyrics of that godforsaken song flittering into his brain.

“Wait down by the stream, how sweet it will seem, once more just to dream in the moonlight…”

(Read the entire series here)

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #eddie can sing #my fanfiction #happy birthday to richie tozier #hope in some universe he got his happy ending...in more ways than one

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thedreammweaver · 4 years

Text

You really thought I’d leave? (Burton-Schumacherverse riddlebird , trans!Oswald)

Warnings: Dysphoria, misunderstandings, accidental misgendering, Clueless Ed is clueless, brief mention of suicidal thoughts of no physical consequence, medium to mild amount of blood, forced to come out by stupid dumb uterus, so. many. penguin. tears., A N G S T, pain, suffering, the lads talk about their trauma, 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 (it turns out okay though)

Ed was still feeling his post heist high when he threw himself onto Oswald’s bed while Oswald was hanging up his coat, hat, and umbrella. Ed looked over when he heard Oswald sigh, he was rubbing at his back like it hurt. “I’m sorry..” Ed blurted out.

“It’s not your fault.” Oswald said flatly as he went behind an ornate screen in the corner of his bedroom to change into pajamas. Ed had wondered a few times why Oswald didn’t change in front of him but after all they’d only been in a relationship for a few weeks, it felt like longer to Ed, but maybe the other man just needed more time. Ed rested his head in his hands, feeling guilty

“I was being theatrical and I took too long...if I had hurried up like you said batman wouldn’t have gotten there in time to hurt you..”

Oswald scoffed “It’s OK, Eddie! I needed to let off some steam anyways.”

“If getting thrown into a cement wall where you could’ve been seriously hurt and I would’ve spent forever wishing it had been me instead because..” ‘Because I love you. C’mon, Ed, just say it!’ Ed screamed at himself in his mind “well... because it just wouldn’t be right..I mean if that’s you’re idea of letting off steam then sure.” Ed pouted, kicking himself mentally and burying his face in Oswald’s bed, the comforter smelled like him which lifted Ed’s spirits a bit. “I don’t wanna go home tonight.” He hadn’t meant to say that out loud but didn’t regret it either. “Then stay,” Oswald said, coming out from behind the screen now dressed in black and purple satin pjs “I mean...if this- or- we work out you’ll probably be staying here half the time anyhow, right?” “Yeah, I guess so.” Ed said absently getting off the bed to peel himself out of the green glittery spandex suit he was in, he only had his briefs and a plain tank top underneath, he’d learned to wear some sort of undershirt with the spandex if he was going to Oswald’s after unless he wanted his core to feel an ice box. “Look! The bat got you too, we’re even.” Oswald chuckled pointing out bruises on Ed’s arm and shoulder as he got under the covers. Ed rolled his eyes and crawled into bed next to Oswald he had been afraid this would be awkward but the idea of falling asleep next to Oswald came naturally and he was soon asleep.

Ed was stirred awake just as easily as he’d drifted off by Oswald quicky getting out of bed and muttering curses “Shit, shit, shit...goddamnit..” Ed sat up a bit “Wha...Ozzie, what is it??” He asked groggily. “Uh- it’s- just- nothing, nothing just uh-uh stay there or you maybe better sleep on the couch instead uh...just- go back to sleep. Don’t turn the lights on.” After that panicked deluge of unclear instruction Oswald ran off to the bathroom down the hallway. Ed still drowsy, now worried and curious he turned on the lamp by the bed and looked over to Oswald’s side of the bed, all he could make out was a blurry red blob. He huffed and clumsily reached for his glasses, he’d left them on the nightstand before he and Oswald had gone on the heist as he’d gotten changed at Oswald’s too. His eyes were slowly adjusting and the red blob revealed itself to be a sizeable bloodstain, Ed’s heart dropped. He got up and ran down the hall to the bathroom as well. When Ed went to open the door there was a shrill “DON’T COME IN!!” which made him jump and step back. “But Oswald you’re bleeding!”

“I know, Ed, it’s normal...” Ed could hear that Oswald’s teeth were gritted. “That was a lot of blood Oswald! You could have internal damage from “letting off steam” with the bat earlier. I have to take you to the hospital, I know you hate doctors but-“

“It is normal, Edward! Now leave me be!!”

Ed was taken aback, Oswald had never yelled at him like this before. He put his ear to the door, he could hear plastic ripping and crinkling, was Oswald trying to tend to the damage himself? “Oswald, please please let me help. I know you have a lot of weird..stuff going on but bleeding like that isn’t normal.”

“Yes, it is. This has nothing to do with that son of a bitch Batman, this happens every month..”

“EVERY MONTH?! Since when??”

“...since I was about twelve or thirteen..I don’t remember.”

Ed was bewildered “Since you were- you mean as in years old right??? Oswald! That could be indicative of SERIOUS health problems!!”

“Ed just leave me alone please...stop worrying, it’s fine.”Oswald’s gruff voice was beginning sound shaky. Ed was wracking his brain trying to figure out what was going on. “Oswald please talk to me, if this is “normal” I want to understand why..I-I mean is it like the stuff that comes out of your mouth or-“ “No! It’s not like that...”

“Then what??-“

“Gimme a minute! I’ve never really had to..vocalize it..before..”

Ed leaned his head on the door, now he felt confused and impatient. Oswald cleared just throat nervously “So...I’m a man right except I- Except I got born with the wrong sort of...equipment for that..”

“What??” Ed asked, more a noise of exasperation than a question. “Jesus, Ed- I...got born with a chick’s body but later I figured out I’m not a chick alright, not really..not on the inside-We’re both guys but if you wanted to narrow things down to a strictly physical matter I have more in common with the catbitch than with you..”

Ed’s brow furrowed “So you’re a woman?”

“NO!! GOD NO, ED!! DID YOU EVEN HEAR A WORD I JUST FUCKING SAID?!”

“Okay! Okay! I-I-just-“

“DON’T EVER SAY THAT SHIT TO ME AGAIN!!”

“OKAY!!” There was an uncomfortable beat of silence before Ed spoke again “So.....what are are you?” Oswald scoffed, a pitiful tone to the noise “You’re just trying your damndest to make me feel like shit aren’t you?” Ed’s heart broke when he heard Oswald’s voice break. “No! No! I- Oswald, I swear I’m just trying to understand. S-So you’re a guy? Right? On the inside..that’s what you said? But you have...girl..parts? Then-so the blood.......oh......you-...you’re just..menstruating?” Oswald didn’t answer him. “Oswald??” Ed gently pushed the door open. Oswald was on the floor leaning against the bathtub, he was just in his underpants and pajama top now, the blood stained bottoms tossed aside. Parts of his thighs were also bloodstained, he was sobbing into his flippers, a pathetic gasping hitching noise. Ed got on his knees beside Oswald, he’d never seen the man cry before and it was making him panic “Oswald, please...I didn’t mean to- did-did...I get it right the last time at least..?” Oswald whined “Yes!...yes...but it doesn’t matter...you don’t like me anymore..” “What?? Of course I still lo- like you.” Ed grabbed the other man by the shoulders to make them face eachother. Oswald took his flippers down from his tear drenched face “Just wait, you say that now but in time..you’ll get frustrated and you’ll leave, your need for a “real man” will win out over any feelings you claim to have for me. Eddie, I’ve been through this before..I know how this works..” Oswald broke down into sobs again “Except it’s worse this time..because you actually fucking matter to me, you’re not someone I paid to tell me they love me just because I needed to to hear it on a shitty night.” He was beginning to hyperventilate now “I-I never needed anyone before like I need you and I-I didn’t mean to keep this from you but I got so scared! I was so SCARED!! Scared because I think if you left me especially because of this I’d-I’d just have to go and find the tallest building in Gotham and throw myself off...see if maybe one penguin an fly after all...this poor old bird couldn’t take that, not after everything....not after all this. I thought about it so much and I’d really rather die than have you leave me, Eddie, leave me like every other little sparkling thing that cuddled up to me as if I meant something to them! Like my parents the night I was born!! They doomed me to a life of being thrown away. Th-They cursed me that night do you understand?! An-and I so need you to be the one that breaks that curse cause I. AM. telling. you! I can’t stand that happening again..not one time more...please...not once more..please.....pleease...” Oswald begged as he collapsed into Ed’s arms, sobbing, burying his face in the other man’s chest. “Oh...Oswald I- please don’t talk like that...like you’re nothing..” Ed felt tears flowing down his own face as he cradled his bird. “I..love you. God, Oswald, I love you..you really thought I’d leave?” Oswald raised his head a bit “...Eddie, people get killed for being like me...you can never tell how people will react to what they don’t understand..” Ed absently rocked himself and Oswald softly “...I love you...I wanted to say it for so long but I was scared too, I thought you were gonna be like these type of guys I messed around with in school, they’d call you baby when you’re alone and act like they really care but then you see them with their girlfriends the next day, acting like they don’t know you...and you just feel like a fucking idiot all because they don’t like who they are... I never thought I could mean as much to you as...how you said.” Oswald wrapped his arms around Ed’s waist. “You love me? Why?” There was a pitiful wistfulness in his voice. Ed didn’t have to think for long “You’re warm. You’re the only thing that makes me feel held, only thing that makes me feel safe, wanted. It’s like I wasn’t even real before I met you...I was just here..barely. I carry your warmth with me everywhere now, so I can feel real all the time..instead of like I’m floating away. You...obviously love me too, why?”

“You make me feel human. I got too used to being an animal after being treated like one...manipulated like one. You talk to me like- I don’t know...like you care..” They sat there holding eachother for a few minutes more until Oswald’s crying resumed “It wasn’t enough that I had to get born like this..” he sobbed gesturing to his flippers and nose “I had to get born with the wrong insides too...as if I wasn’t a complete freak already..” Ed held the shorter man tighter “No, no, no, no, no, don’t say that, Oswald, don’t say that,” Ed cooed, stroking Oswald’s hair “I promise I’m going to learn how to treat you right, after all this time you deserve it..I promise I’m gonna learn, okay? And I’m not leaving, you don’t have to be scared anymore..” Oswald was still crying, Ed scooted back a bit so he could see Oswald’s face. “Look, look, I-I can run you a bath so you can get cleaned up and I’ll take care of the bed, then you don’t have to think about it anymore tonight. Would that be good...if I did that?” Ed offered earnestly. Oswald sighed and nodded, Ed smiled weakly and cupped the other man’s cheek “Good-..good, so I’ll- I’m gonna do that and you can stay here and just relax, please.” Ed kissed Oswald’s cheek before getting up and turning on the bath to let it fill while he stripped the bed. Before leaving the bathroom he just had to say it once more “I love you, Oswald.” “I love you too, asshole..” Oswald grumbled, while wiping the dried, drying, and still wet tears from his face. Ed sighed happily knowing that his bird was starting to calm down already, and basking in the knowledge that he was loved back.

#oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #the riddler #the penguin #riddlebird angst

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colonel-insomniac · 3 years

Note

Hey, I wanted to make a request? Slightly angsty Spongebob musical fic, with the SB/Pat/Sandy, set to Boy in the Bubble by Alec Benjamin. Thank you if you do!

I completely forgot i can answer asks oops so here!

“It was 6:48, I was walking home. Stepped through the gate and I’m all alone, I had chicken on the plate but the food was cold, then I covered up my face so that no one knows…”

Bobby had never really fit in with the people in his town. The other people thought he was too extroverted, too trusting. They seemed to love to tell Bobby that he was a boy in a bubble, that no one in the town was genuinely friends with him, that he ought to break out of his fantasy world. Bobby always brushed it off though, took the negative statements and pretended it didn’t affect him. He didn’t want pity from others. If everyone was using him, well...he likes helping people, so it isn't an issue anyhow.

“How is this my fault?” Bobby wondered aloud to the dark air as he kicked the door shut behind him. He felt no need to cover up his face, no one was home, so no one would see. Padding to the kitchen, he digs out some ice cubes, placing them in a bag and holding it to his eye. As he slumps on the couch, he feels his cat Gary climb onto his lap. The tabby chirps at him, and Bobby nods his head, hugging Gary to him.

“Oh Gare-Bear,” the boy sighed, “How do I get myself into these situations time and time again?” The hand that wasn’t occupied with holding an ice-bag to his eye scratched the cat’s head. In response, Gary purred, and simultaneously meowed, as though responding to the boy.

“I didn’t want trouble, I’m the boy in the bubble, but then came trouble…”

Bobby Porter does not get into fights. People see him as the consistently optimistic boy who is too naive. But his temper at times flares, and the one thing he will absolutely not stand for is people being rude to his friends.

Of course, maybe approaching William Fitzgerald while he was surrounded by his posse of friends might not have been the smartest choice. But watching alongside Patrick and Sandy as his buddy Edward was basically publicly humiliated was not okay. Maybe the furthest thing from it, in all honesty.

So Bobby did what he thought was right and marched forward. As he recalls Pat grabbing his arm in an effort to stop Bobby, the boy lifts his chin slightly, still adamant that his decision was right.

"When my mom walked into the living room, she said, "Boy, you gotta tell me what they did to you," I said, "You don't wanna know the things I had to do" she said, "Son, you gotta tell me why you're black and blue…"

Bobby remembers the surprise that passed over Williams' face before he disguised it with disdain.

"You need to leave Edward alone now." He had said through gritted teeth.

"Oh really? And why is that?" The pretentious musician replied, arching an eyebrow.

With a brief glance at Eddy, Bobby felt his anger strengthen. A crowd had begun forming, and he wasn't sure where Pat and Sandy were at that moment. "Because Edward is by far the most talented person ever, more talented than your pretentious self could ever be." Bobby spat the words out, and relished the surprise flitting on the taller guy's face.

His satisfaction was short lived, however. The next thing Bobby remembers is the feeling of something hitting his eye and him falling backwards. A nervous hush fell over the crowd as they waited for Bobby to retaliate.

"I said I didn't want trouble, I'm the boy in the bubble, but then came trouble…"

Bobby scrambled to his feet and threw a right hook at William. Logically speaking, Bobby knew that it likely was not William who punched him, but he knew this was the musicians fault.

William stumbled back, cursing out Bobby as he clutched his cheek.

"And my heart was pumping, chest was screaming, mind was running, air was freezing, put my hands up, put my hands up, I told this kid I'm ready for a fight…"

There's a knock at the door that startles Bobby out of his daze. Gary hops off his lap and trots to the door, sticking his head out the little cat door he had installed.

He knew Patrick and Sandy were likely the ones outside. He also knew they didn't agree with how he'd handled things. But he picked himself off the chair and opened the door, and was surprised when he saw Edward there as well. So surprised, he accidentally lowered the bag of ice.

Sandy winced and Pat looked away. Eddy looked down at his shoes, his clarinet case clutched in his hand. Flushing with embarrassment, Bobby steps aside and gestures for them to enter. "Bobby, Eddy here has got somethin' to tell ya." Sandy broke the silence, glancing at Eddy with a nod.

Curious, Bobby leaned forward in his chair. Ed rolls his eyes and looks away "Thank you for standing up for me. And...I'm sorry about earlier."

"Punch my face, do it 'cause I like the pain, every time you curse my name, I know you want the satisfaction, it's not gonna happen…"

After hitting William, Bobby saw another fist flying at him, and ducked out of the way, and directly into a different hand. This time, however, Bobby didn't fall back. Instead, before his attacker could pull his hand back all the way, Bobby had grabbed a hold of his wrist and managed to pin it behind the guys back.

The idea of kicking this guy briefly fled through Bobby's head, but instead Bobby shoved the guy away, flinching when he touched his cheek and it came back slightly red.

As Bobby went to retrieve his backpack he'd dropped, he heard Eddy mumble "I didn't ask you to do that."

The shorter boy spun around, head slightly tilted to meet Eddy's gaze. "Eddy, how is it that this is my fault now? I stood up for you, I didn't see anyone else do that. I thought I did something good." Bobby stormed away after, entirely wrapped up in the overwhelming exhaustion and pain.

"Knock me out, kick me when I'm on the ground…"

Peering at Edward before slumping in his chair, Bobby shrugged. "It's not too big a deal, because I think it was the right thing to do."

Mostly because Bobby couldn't see from his left eye, he didn't realize Patrick was kneeling at his side until he felt his best friend's hand gently tugging at the bag.

Defenses instantly raised, Bobby pulled away. He felt guilty at the heartbroken way Pat looked. "I— Patrick, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it in any way, I just…" Bobby bit his lip and looked down.

Bobby stood, and in a whisper, said "please, could you guys leave me alone for now?" He moved toward the door, intending to go on a walk, but Sandy appeared before him. So he backed away, only to bump into Pat. "Don't you get it lil' dude?" Sandy giggled.

"You aren't going anywhere." Patrick finished for Sandy, and wrapped his arms around Bobby.

Noticing Eddy trying to exit the scene, Sandy pulled him into the hug, trapping him in the embrace.

"It's only gonna let you down, come the lightning and the thunder, you're the one who'll suffer, suffer…"

Content in knowing that his friends weren't mad at him, Bobby allowed himself to feel the swell of genuine love for his friends, and addition to the feelings he's already felt for Sandy and Pat. But that's for another time.

In the end, he surmised, it doesn't really matter what anyone wants to tell me because these people mean the world to me.

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longitudinalwaveme · 3 years

Text

Villainy Squared

Dramatis Personae

Batman/Bruce Wayne, the heroic but grumpy crime fighting vigilante

Harley Quinn/Harleen Quinzel, the eccentric and dimwitted girlfriend of Joker

Harvey Dent/Two-Face, the angry D.A. turned mob boss who bases his decisions on coin flips

The Riddler/Edward Nygma, a childish, riddle-obsessed technological genius

The Scarecrow/Jonathan Crane, a psychopathic psychologist; obsessed with fear

Script

Act I

(Enter Riddler and Two-Face from different directions)

Riddler: Riddle me this, Gotham! What has- (Pause) Two-Face? What are you doing here?

Two-Face: Out of the way, Nygma. This is the Second National Bank, and I’m going to rob it.

Riddler: But this is my heist! I’ve been planning it for months! You can’t just interrupt months of detailed planning because of your obsession with the number two! Why, I’ve already set up my riddle-based death traps of doom in there!

Two-Face: Tough luck, Nygma. You should’ve known better than to gamble on the Second National Bank with me on the loose. Now get lost. (Shoves Riddler to the ground)

Riddler: Ow! (Stands up, brushes himself off) That was entirely uncalled for! And I’m not going anywhere until you find a different bank to rob. This one is mine! Mine! All mine!

Two-Face: Do you really want to tussle with me, Nygma?

Riddler: You aren’t so tough. I can take you. Probably.

Two-Face: (Laughs) A skinny little nerd like you? In your dreams, loser.

Riddler: I’m not a loser! Why, I’m Gotham’s greatest criminal mastermind and the smartest person in Gotham! You’re just a dumb thug!

Two-Face: I may be a thug, but I’m far from dumb. I was a lawyer before I turned to crime, remember? You have to be smart to get through law school!

Riddler: Whatever you say, Two-Face, whatever you say.

Two-Face: (Grabs Riddler by collar) Look here, punk. I’d feel bad fighting a weakling like you, so I’ll give you one last chance to leave. If you don’t, I’ll beat you to a pulp. Got it?

Riddler: But-but I can’t leave! I spent ten thousand dollars on this heist! If I don’t make a profit, I’m gonna be broke! Those riddle traps aren’t cheap, you know.

Two-Face: That’s your problem, Nygma, not mine. Now leave, or it won’t be just your bank account that’s broke.

(Enter Harley)

Harley: Hi, Two-Face! Hi, Eddie! What are you guys doing here?

Riddler: Hi, kid. I’m trying to rob this bank with the help of my riddle-based death traps of doom, but apparently Two-Face had a similar idea, and so we’re now having a difference of opinion regarding who should rob the bank.

Two-Face: (Shakes Riddler a bit) Yeah, and Nygma was just deciding to leave the bank robbing to a professional. What are you doing here, Harley?

Harley: Mister J sent me to rob the bank to fund our next comedy show.

Two-Face: Well, tell that green-haired freak that Two-Face beat you to it. This is my bank to rob, not his or anyone else’s. Isn’t that right, Nygma?

Riddler: Y-yes, sir. Just let me go and I’ll be out of your hair- (Aside) And out of money again! This stinks! How am I supposed to get respect when this keeps happening?

(Two-Face releases Riddler; Riddler rubs his neck)

Harley: Uh, I don’t think Mister J will like the idea of you taking his money, Two-Face.

Two-Face: Well, that’s too bad, because I’m taking it anyway.

Harley: Couldn’t the three of us just split the money, Two-Face? That way, we can all get what we want, and we don’t have to fight over it.

Riddler: Kid, we’re villains. We don’t share money with anyone, not even adorable little things like you. Sorry to disappoint.

Harley: But we’re friends, aren’t we?

Two-Face: No, we aren’t. At best, we’re acquaintances. Now you two had better get lost before I lose my temper. Like I said earlier, this is my heist, and I don’t share.

(Harley starts crying; Enter Scarecrow)

Scarecrow: Greetings, citizens of Gotham. You are about to participate in the largest experiment in mass hysteria ever recorded, courtesy of me, the Scarecrow! (Notices others) Wait- what are the three of you doing here? You’re not part of my experiment.

Two-Face: Go away, you sadistic creep. I don’t want anything to do with a sicko like you.

(Harley pulls out improbably long handkerchief to blow nose)

Scarecrow: Scared, Two-Face? You should be. And Riddler, how nice to see you.

Riddler: H-hello, Scarecrow. I-I was just leaving. See you around! (Tries to exit, only for Scarecrow to grab him and pull him back)

Scarecrow: Leaving so soon? Why, the experiment has only just begun!

Two-Face: (Mutters) Experiment, my foot. (To the others) I thought I told all three of you to leave! This is my bank robbery, not a fear experiment or a way to fund stupid jokes or a way to prove intellectual superiority! Now go before I get violent!

Scarecrow: Leave intimidation to me, Two-Face. You lack the proper finesse to be truly frightening to anyone-except for cowards like Riddler, of course.

Riddler: I-I’m not a coward! I’m a genius! (Aside) Why, oh, why did I have to pick the one bank in Gotham that three other supervillains wanted? It’s going to ruin me, and then I’ll never be able to prove that I’m better than Batman! It’s not fair! They cheated me! They cheated! (Pouts)

Harley: (Notices the Scarecrow, runs to him, hugs him) Hiya, Professor Crane! It’s nice to see you! How have you been?

Scarecrow: Good evening, child. I have been doing well, and I have conducted many fascinating experiments in fear. How have you been?

Harley: Great, Professor Crane!

Two-Face: (To Harley) You actually like this psycho?

Harley: Of course! He was my professor of psychology!

Scarecrow: And she was my favorite student. Her grasp of the physiological and psychological effects of fear, as well as the names and causes of many phobias, was astounding. (Pause) Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I have a fear experiment to conduct.

Two-Face: Oh, no, you don’t. No one’s committing a crime in that bank but me!

Harley: No, I’m robbing it for Mister J!

Scarecrow: Child, my experiments are much more important than petty thievery, and there are plenty of other banks for you to rob. Couldn’t you attack one of them instead?

Harley: Mister J specifically told me to attack this one, Professor Crane. Couldn’t you do your experiment somewhere else? Or just wait for me to rob the bank before you start your experiment? I really wanna impress Mister J, and he’ll kill me if I don’t do what he says.

Two-Face: Why do you stay with that clown? He’s such a creep!

(The three ad lib an argument)

Riddler: Fellow villains, I have a brilliant solution to our problem! (Pause) Hey, guys, I have an idea! (Pause) Is anybody listening to me? I said I have an idea. (Pause) BE QUIET SO I CAN TELL YOU ALL MY PLAN!

(Other villains stop arguing)

Scarecrow: So, you finally grew a spine. I’m impressed, Riddler. What’s your idea?

Riddler: We all want to attack the same bank, but none of us are willing to team up or take turns, right?

Harley/Scarecrow/Two-Face: Right.

Riddler: So why don’t we bet for it? I have a fine set of cards at home, after all. The winner of the game gets to rob the bank-or spread fear gas, as the case may be- and the other three have to help them. Does that sound like a brilliant plan or what?

Harley: I love games! I’m in!

Two-Face: Everybody has equal odds of winning. That sounds fair to me. But I’ll have to flip my coin to decide. (Flips coin) The coin says that it’s a good idea. Let’s play.

Scarecrow: I normally dislike games, but, as this one will allow me to spend time with Harley, study three severely disturbed individuals, and get assistants for my experiment, I will play your game as well, and study how much you suffer from Ludophobia- the fear of losing-by so doing.

Riddler: Terrific! Let’s go to my Riddle-Lair.

(Exit all)

Act II

(Enter Batman on the phone)

Batman: Hello? Hello, Commissioner Gordon. Is something wrong? (Pause) The Scarecrow’s escaped from Arkham, too? That makes four high-profile criminals on the loose. Do we have any leads as to where they might have gone? Mmm-hmm. Uh-huh. Make sure that Gotham’s citizens know not to attempt to engage them. The last time someone tried that, they ended up in the hospital. Thanks for telling me about his escape. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well, I’ll start looking for him-and Arkham’s other three escapees-straightaway. Good-bye, Commissioner. (Puts phone away) Hello, audience. I am Batman, the guardian of Gotham City. I have been protecting the innocent citizens of Gotham City from its large collection of lunatics, mob bosses, corrupt politicians, psychopathic psychologists, and ordinary thieves and thugs, and I have also trained my ward, young Dick Grayson, to help me fight crime as Robin. However, he is in Washington, D.C. for a field trip, and so I am single-handedly striking fear into superstitious, cowardly criminals until he returns. However, I am currently facing a much more serious problem than usual: namely, the fact that Harley Quinn, Two-Face, the Riddler, and the Scarecrow have escaped from Arkham and are running amok. Each one is a dangerous criminal in their own right, and the idea of all four on the loose simultaneously would be enough to strike strong fear into the hearts of the good people of Gotham. Therefore, I must quickly defeat and recapture all four criminals before they can start committing crimes-or, worse yet, decide to team up. To the Batmobile, audience! (Batman pantomimes getting into car and then driving it) My sources tell me that the Riddler is hiding out in an abandoned publishing facility, while Harley Quinn is in an abandoned amusement park and the Scarecrow is in an abandoned haunted house. Two-Face is probably in one of his many apartments, but I’m not sure which one he’s in, so I should probably look for him first. Tell me if you see anything, audience. Thank you.

Act III

(Enter Riddler, Two-Face, Scarecrow, and Harley)

Harley: Nice place you got here, Eddie.

Riddler: I know, right? I took over this publishing facility after it was abandoned, added a few personal touches, and wallah! Instant masterpiece of home decorating!

Two-Face: If you like neon green question marks, maybe.

Riddler: Who doesn’t ?

Two-Face: 99.9% of people who aren’t you.

Harley: I like it. It’s so shiny and pretty!

Two-Face: That’s because, you, like Nygma, have the attention span, maturity level, and taste of a six-year-old.

Riddler: I do not have the brain of a six-year-old! Why, I’m the world’s greatest criminal mastermind! If I wasn’t a mature adult, I couldn’t be.

Two-Face: One, your claim to that title is very, very debatable. Two, even if you are a mastermind, your crimes are based on riddles, puzzles, and brainteasers. You’re an adult who uses children’s games for your crimes, and you throw hissy fits when you lose. Even I can’t deny that you’re a genius when it comes to tech and wordplay, but you have an extremely immature outlook on the majority of life.

Scarecrow: In other words, Riddler, you’re a technological and linguistic savant. Your skill in those areas far outstrips your capability in any other aspect of life, and in terms of social behavior you are extremely delayed to the point of it being clear that, emotionally and socially speaking, you’re still a small child. And Harleen has regressed to that point as well, in large part thanks to the Joker. Both of you are adults who act like children, and it’s why you’re insane.

Riddler: Whatever. You’re just jealous because neither of you has a brilliant mind like mine. (He grabs a box of cards and sits down at a table with them)

Scarecrow: (To Two-Face) And, of course, his delusions of grandeur make his mental issues worse. (Both laugh and sit down)

Harley: Professor Crane! Two-Face! Stop being mean to Eddie! (Sits down)

Riddler: Yeah, stop being mean to Eddie-er, me!

Two-Face: (To Riddler) Aww, did we hurt your feelings? Scarecrow: (To Two-Face) Knock it off, Two-Face.

Two-Face: Why? It’s fun to watch Nygma freak out.

Scarecrow: I told you to knock it off! I don’t particularly care for Riddler, either, but we’re upsetting Harleen by making fun of him, and I hate it when she gets upset.

Two-Face: Who are you, and what have you done with Jonathan Crane?

Scarecrow: Harleen is my only friend, all right? I’m allowed to be nice to one person, aren’t I?

Two-Face: So, the big bad Scarecrow has a soft spot, huh? How cute.

Scarecrow: Mock me again and I’ll give you a faceful of fear gas.

Two-Face: Okay, okay, I’m sorry!

Scarecrow: That’s better. So, Riddler, what are we playing?

Riddler: I was thinking poker, but it’s really up to you three. I mean, I’ll win no matter what we play, so it doesn’t matter to me.

Two-Face: (Flips coin) The coin says we play blackjack.

Scarecrow: I was hoping to play rummy, myself, but as I am here to win, not to enjoy myself, I don’t particularly care what we play.

Harley: Um, the only card game I know how to play is Go Fish. Can we play that?

Riddler: You’ve never played a card game besides Go Fish? Really?

Harley: Really really, Eddie.

Riddler: Why?

Harley: All the other ones confuse me.

Riddler: I see. Since I don’t feel like teaching you to play poker, I guess we’re playing go fish.

Scarecrow: Very well. As I said, this is merely an opportunity for me to study human behavior, nothing more. Go Fish is as good a game as any for that purpose.

Two-Face: No way are we playing Go Fish. That game is for little kids, not super criminals. Can you imagine how we’d look playing a game for little kids?

Riddler: Well, according to you, Harley and I act like children anyway, so why wouldn’t we play a kids’ game?

Two-Face: Okay, then, imagine how I’d look playing a kids’ game.

Harley: Aww, you’d be adorable , Two-Face!

Two-Face: Not the point I was trying to make. I wouldn’t look adorable, I’d look stupid, and nobody in the underground would ever take me seriously again. I am not playing Go Fish!

Scarecrow: All right, then you forfeit the game and have to help whichever one of us wins carry out our crime.

Two-Face: Fine! If that’s how you’re gonna play it, then I’ll ask my coin whether I should participate. (Flips coin; groans) Deal me in.

(Riddler deals and the four play Go Fish, ad libbing all the while)

Riddler: Yipee! I won! I won! I actually won! And you two thought I was a joke!

(Two-Face and Scarecrow grumble and glare as Riddler does an obnoxious happy dance)

Harley: Congrats, Eddie! Do you mind if I steal a little something for myself to keep Mister J happy while we’re helping you?

Riddler: Of course not. I may be a psychotic maniac, but even I don’t want to see you get hurt by that barbaric clown again. Speaking of which, you should really find a new boyfriend who treats you with the respect you deserve.

Harley: Whaddaya mean, Eddie? My puddin’ loves me!

Scarecrow: No, he doesn’t. If he did, he wouldn’t threaten to kill you for failing to fulfill his requests. I’ve told you this a thousand times before-he doesn’t love you, he’s using you.

Harley: Well, maybe Mister J is a little rough sometimes-

Riddler: A little rough? He pushed you out of a fourth-story window! What’s a lot rough for you, having him drop a nuclear bomb on you? Oh, wait-he was willing to do that, too!

Harley: But I l-l-love him!

(Harley starts crying again, Riddler pats her on the back awkwardly)

Two-Face: Does anyone else find it a little odd that three supervillains are lecturing someone about how they’re in an abusive relationship?

Scarecrow: Maybe a little. But then again, I used to be a psychologist. I know the signs of an abusive relationship when I see one.

Two-Face: You do? I thought you only cared about fear.

Scarecrow: I may be fascinated by the effects of fear on the human psyche, but that doesn’t mean that I have completely forgotten everything else I learned in order to become a psychologist. And besides, that poor child’s fear of disappointing the Joker, while invigorating for me in the abstract, is also what keeps her from leaving him. Fear plays a large role in such abusive relationships, and as such, I know a lot about it. (Pause) Poor child. Poor, poor child.

Two-Face: Why does her relationship with the Joker bother you ? You’re the psycho who deliberately makes people see their worst fears for your twisted “research”!

Scarecrow: That doesn’t mean I entirely lack standards, Two-Face. And, even if it did, that doesn’t mean that I want the only person in my entire life who ever wanted to be my friend to be constantly abused by the clown who claims to love her.

Two-Face: Okay, you have a point. (Examines his gun)

Harley: Why does everyone think that my puddin is abusing me? He doesn’t mean anything by what he does to me. (Blows nose)

Riddler: We think he’s abusing you because he is! He threw you out of a fourth-story window, drove you insane, got you involved in battles with a crime fighting ninja, throws you around, hits you, never listens to what you have to say, lies to you, makes fun of you, makes you do things against your will, and ignores you when you’re not convenient. What else would you call that?

Scarecrow: It’s simple psychology, really. He follows the standard pattern of abusers: he pretends he’s nice to win you to his side, then he makes you think that you can’t live without him, and once he’s convinced he can control you, he starts with the abuse.

Harley: But I love him!

Riddler: Is loving him worth him trying to kill you when he gets angry?

Harley: Yes.

(Riddler and Scarecrow groan)

Scarecrow: Child, if you stay with him, he will kill you. I am very similar to him, so I know that he is incapable of love. At best, you are a diversion to him. At worst, you are a punching bag. You need to break up with him and find someone else-preferably someone else who is less prone to creating gigantic explosions.

Riddler: My vote would be that you turn “puddin” into pudding, but that’s neither here nor there. Either way, you should ditch that creep and move on with your life.

Harley: But where would I go?

Riddler: Poison Ivy likes you. Maybe you could go live with her.

Harley: Thanks for the suggestion. You guys are the best friends a psychotic nutcase could ask for. (Blows nose) From now on, I’m done with that homicidal, abusive clown.

Scarecrow: Wonderful! And if he tries to bother you, I’ll give him a nightmare that he’ll never wake up from.

(Harley hugs Riddler, who looks thrilled, then hugs Scarecrow)

Riddler: (Aside) I got hugged by a girl! Score!

Two-Face: Can we go rob the bank now, please? I’m as fond of weird counseling sessions as anyone else, but if we don’t get going soon, I’m going to forget our deal and rob the place by myself using my own plan.

Riddler: Okay, okay, we’re coming. Don’t have a cow.

Harley: You know, now that I’ve broken up with Mister J, I don’t really need to rob the bank, so I’m going to go find Ivy. Good-bye!

Riddler: Atta girl, kid! Bye!

Scarecrow: Farewell, child.

(Exit Harley)

Two-Face: You two really are crazy.

Riddler: And we wouldn’t have it any other way. Let’s go rob that bank!

Commercial Break!

Act IV

(Enter Batman)

Batman: I’ve checked the hideouts of Two-Face, Harley Quinn, and the Scarecrow, but they weren’t at any of them. That means that they must’ve teamed up with Riddler for some reason, and they must be hanging out here, at the abandoned publishing facility Riddler uses. I hope that, whatever nefarious crime they’re planning, they’re still here now, because if they aren’t, I’ll have to deal with panicked civilians.

(Enter Harley)

Harley: Hi, Batman! (Does double take) Batman?

Batman: Surrender quietly and things will be much easier for you, Ms. Quinzel.

Harley: Great! I was just looking for you! (Hugs him) I’m breaking up with the Joker, so I need to go to Arkham to get away with him and meet up with Red.

Batman: (Confused) You’re surrendering?

Harley: Yeah! I’m breaking up with the Joker, so I need to go to Arkham so that he can’t get me, and this is the quickest way to do it.

Batman: All right. (Handcuffs her) Why the change of heart regarding the Joker?

Harley: Eddie and Professor Crane told me he was abusing me, and they made sense, so I decided to leave him and become my own person again.

Batman: I’m glad to hear that, Ms. Quinzel. I wish you the best of luck with your attempt to break the cycle of codependency and abuse.

(They pantomime getting into the Batmobile and driving to Arkham in it. Harley throws her hands in the air like she’s on a roller coaster)

Harley: WHEEE!

(Batman stops the car and lets her out. They ‘walk inside’ Arkham)

Batman: Good-bye, Ms. Quinzel.

Harley: Good-bye, Batman. (Hugs him) And next time, you can call me Harley. Everybody does.

Batman: Good-bye, Harley. (Aside) Now I just have to hope that the other three have kept out of trouble.

Act V

(Enter Riddler, Scarecrow, and Two-Face)

Two-Face: If this plan fails, I’ll make you eat your hat.

Riddler: Fail? I’m a genius! So long as Batman doesn’t show up, my plan can’t possibly fail!

(Enter Batman)

Batman: Hello, gentlemen.

Scarecrow: (To Riddler) Congratulations, Riddler. You jinxed your own plan. How predictable.

Batman: I assume that asking the three of you to come in quietly would be too much to ask.

Riddler: How did you solve my riddles, Batman?

Batman: I didn’t have to. The three of you left a trail so obvious that anyone could have followed you here.

Riddler: You didn’t solve the riddles I sent you? Then I won! I won! I actually won!

Batman: Sure. Whatever makes you happy. (Aside) It’s like fighting a six-year-old.

Riddler: And now, I’ll kill you with a riddle-based death trap of-

(Batman knocks him out)

Batman: There’s your prize, Nygma.

Scarecrow: Did you see Harleen, by any chance?

Batman: Yes, I did. I took her to the asylum myself, in fact. Why?

Scarecrow: I was hoping that she would find a way to keep herself safe from that lunatic. Good for her! (Pause; Brandishes fear canister) It’s time for you to face your fears, Batman!

Batman: No, it’s time for you to face the law. (Knocks fear canister out of his hands) Why did you willingly help Harley, Crane?

Scarecrow: That’s personal information, Batman. (Tries to grab fear canister, is knocked out by Batman)

Two-Face: (Makes a run for the bank) Looks like I get the money after all! (Is knocked out by Batman)

Batman: Good night, Dent. (Pulls out phone) Hello? Commissioner Gordon? It’s Batman. I have three criminals for you to arrest. They’re right outside the Second National Bank. Thank you. (Puts phone away) I can’t believe that the Scarecrow and the Riddler care enough about Harley to try to get her away from the Joker, but it’s beneficial anyway, as it means that I might not have to deal with Harley Quinn any more. Who would have expected that?

#batman #batman rogues #dc comics #fanfic #theater

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