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wildwren · 2 years

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Is Theo stamped for evil??

So, I got a reply on one of my Theo posts, and I figured I'd write a new post to compose my thoughts on this, as I've been meaning to write some Theo meta and put it in the tag! I don't mean this as a targeted reply, but just a general response to the very predominant fandom theory that says Theo is destined to be a Nazgul, or even the Witch King Himself. While I'm not inherently opposed to this theory -- I love tragic arcs and it certainly could work for me if executed well -- I'm simply not in agreement with the overwhelming fandom consensus that Theo is Definitely Stamped For Evil. I just don't see it!!

So, let's discuss!

Here’s a list of pretty much everything Theo does sequentially in Season 1:

Complains about having to help his mom when he didn’t get any sleep

Expresses some grumpiness about his mom having a boyfriend

Steals something from a very mean, objectively evil old man

Has a bitchy dynamic with his best friend, also an (older?) teenaged boy

Gets triggered by the annoying “mice” and smashes the floorboards with a poker (I’m sorry but this is the most relatable thing he’s ever done)

Puts himself in harm's way to help his mom fight off an orc, including jumping off of a loft to try to strangle the orc in a noose

Goes with his mom to the tower and helps her support the refugees there

Offers to go into town to get more food so that his people don’t starve

Goes back for more food at risk to himself

Tries to lie to aforementioned objectively evil old man about stolen sword, fails because he’s a terrible liar

Resists recruitment by evil old man, stays with his mom even when others are choosing “evil”

Tells Arondir (a person he doesn’t fully trust and who he has very conflicted feelings for) about the sword (something he has a visceral attachment to). He literally gives Arondir the hilt. He literally did that.

Spies on Arondir when he’s hiding the hilt

Helps defend and protect the helpless amongst his people during the orc battle, takes his job very seriously

Helps save his mother’s life during emergency surgery

Surrenders the hilt to Adar in the hopes that it will save his mother’s life (the person he almost just watched die) and the rest of the people in that room

Looks up to and idolizes Galadriel, a powerful figure of “light” (who is of course also conflicted)

Admits his own guilt and weakness to Arondir

Feels deep grief for the loss of his homeland, wants to kill orcs in revenge

Feels deep guilt and personal responsibility for the loss of his homeland, admits his guilt to Galadriel

Accept’s Galadriel’s sword, cherishes Galadriel’s sword

Worries and grieves deeply for his mother, Arondir, his friends, his people

Refuses to bow to or chant for Halbrand when he is named King (you know, the guy who’s literally Sauron).

In his last shot of Season 1, we see Theo holding Galadriel’s sword high and chanting “Strength to the Southlands!”

I apologize for this ridiculous and pedantic list, but I think it's helpful to see all of his actions. What this list demonstrates for me most of all is that Theo is complex! He makes some bad choices throughout the season and occasionally behaves petulantly, but he also does many brave and selfless things and demonstrates some real strength of character. I simply do not see this characterization as definitively signaling a future villain, especially when our primary protagonist and Confirmed Force for Good Galadriel also displays similar flaws, complexities, and failures of judgement. That's just good character writing, it's not necessarily villain-signaling.

I also think it's impossible to assess Theo's behavior without examining the effect the sword hilt might have had on it. We know from Theo's own words that the hilt made him feel powerful and important, and if the hilt has any of the qualities of one of Sauron's future experiments, then it's safe to say it could have a will of its own! It might, for instance, have a desire to be found! We know it was hiding in Waldreg's barn for who knows how many years, which seems like a good place for it to be, given that Waldreg was 100% willing to give it over to Sauron or even just someone who kind of reminded him of Sauron at literally the first opportunity. So it's pretty clear that even if Theo wasn't involved, the hilt would have found its way to Mount Doom.

Once Theo does have it, however, it's possible the hilt was prodding him into certain actions and behaviors -- for instance, going down into the village where the orcs were hunting for it and staying behind to look for more food, even though it was somewhat reckless of him. After he surrenders the hilt to Arondir, the influence still lingers -- he spies on Arondir when he's hiding the hilt, allowing him to later reveal it to Adar. I think there's a case to be made that Bronwyn is also affected by the hilt. As soon as she comes in contact with it, she makes a complete 180 on her original stance and decides the only way to survive is to surrender the hilt to the enemy. Of course, Arondir talks her off this ledge (and also takes the sword hilt back from her -- yes I have analyzed this blocking), after which they come up with a better option. All in all though, some very sketchy behavior from the hilt.

What is particularly notable about all of this is that Theo, despite the ring-like influence this sword might be having on him, does willingly, of his own volition, from the depths of his own conscience, surrender the hilt to Arondir! He makes the decision to do that and has the strength of will to follow through on it, even though Arondir is not (!!) his favorite person at that point! Like! What's not clicking! That's some heroic-ass behavior!!

There's certainly a case to be made that Theo is tempestuous and moody (as are all teenagers), but I also disagree with the assessment that his mother is the only thing holding him to the side of good, and that the show will kill her off to trigger his descent into evil. Sure, the season spent some time on the relationship between Bronwyn and Theo, but I would argue it spent *more* time on the relationship between Theo and other powerful characters, specifically Arondir and Galadriel, both of whom have had a very positive influence on him and could be anchors for him even if his mother was not around. It also demonstrated the care he has for his people, that the Southlands as an idea or an identity remains important to him and something he is willing to fight for.

To be clear, I am not saying he won't become a Nazgul - literally anything is possible! I'm also not trying to defend him because he's one of my faves and I don't want him to be evil (I enjoy villains so this is a non-issue for me!!). I simply do not think the character choices are clearly pointing to this arc for him. The showrunners have said that he could go in many different directions, and if he is going to be a future canon character, my money is currently on the King of the Dead. This would still be a tragic arc, of course, but in my opinion, it aligns more clearly with what we've seen of Theo. I could imagine him finally creating a home and a kingdom for his people (with the help of Bronwyn and Arondir of course), only to be unwilling to surrender this safety when the time came, at the expense of his honor. (See italicized bit above about Theo refusing to bow to Halbrand -- interesting character detail for sure!) The people who became the Army of the Dead were also guilty of worshipping Sauron, but given that this is already part of the Southlander's arc in the Ring of Power, it feels like a good fit in hitting the broad strokes of that canon story.

I also simply think this would be a more humanistic and empathetic story, which -- at the risk of sounding overly optimistic or polyanna-ish -- does seem to me to be the lens through which the writers are approaching these characters. In general, the character writing in the show feels much more interested in slow development, rather than shocking twists that force dramatic character arcs. They would have to start making some very different choices for me to be convinced that a horrific death for Bronwyn as a means of motivating Theo's villainry was territory they were interested in treading.

Finally, I just want to address the Nazgul guessing game in general, because I'm not sure I'm on the same page as the rest of the fandom with some of these assumptions. While it's certainly fun to imagine who might be a Nazgul, I think it's pretty silly to assume we will intimately know every single one of the Nazgul as POV characters, or that all such characters have already been introduced. That would be some exceptionally redundant storytelling! Even just showing one or two characters take that journey would be enough to effectively suggest the rest. The idea that half the Numenoreans and most of the prominent Southlanders are already destined to be Nazgul just seems very unlikely to me.

Okay, I'm gonna shut up now. I hope you enjoyed this post and I'd love to hear your Theo thoughts!! But please do note, boring-ass Theo slander will be unpolitefully ignored :) :) :)

#the rings of power #rings of power #rings of power meta #rop meta #my meta #rop theo

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thearchivistsjournal · 11 months

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Day 358,

I interviewed Ka’eo today. I’ve already written down all that was said in notes to be refined later for the archival record, so I’ll spare details here. This now is more about my personal experience of the interview itself, rather than its content.

I hadn’t meant to bring Cass along with me, but once she looked up from scrubbing down the blackboard and asked where I was going in response to my announcing my intent to head out it would have been wrong to lie or to tell her not to join me. And so we set forth together, notebooks and writing utensils in hand, Archivist and apprentice out to collect the final testament of the dying.

If this becomes a custom, Lin won’t be the only psychopomp in the Village.

Lin however, wasn’t the one attending to the old blacksmith when we arrived. She was still out with Maiko somewhere, leaving Huan as the one who’s permission we’d need to gain to make our collection. Well, him and Niobe, but I had basically assumed that she would be okay with it while Huan wouldn’t.

As it turned out, my concerns were misplaced. Yes, he did greet us somewhat coldly (although now I wonder how much of that is putting on a professional mask face like Lin does rather than personal dislike) and there was a begrudging tone to his agreement that giving Ka’eo an opportunity to talk about something other than illness and impending mortality could be good for him as opposed to distressing or disruptive, but he did let us see the patient without any real argument. I got myself worked up and put this off for so long for nothing. It seems that what Pat had said the other week left an impression.

Meanwhile Niobe was the one to question why we wanted such a record. I reiterated what I’d said before about hoping to provide a pleasant diversion while also maybe helping bring peace or closure before the end, and then added that the record would be a sort of memorial. A testament to future generations that Ka’eo once lived and this was his experience. It’s something that I hope to keep doing in the future.

While Niobe was all for making the days up to Ka’eo’s passing as comfortable as possible, she found the idea of such memorialization strange. Unnatural even. It’s not in the culture of the Village to hang onto people or things too tightly once they are gone. Sure, remembering stories to learn from and events that could be relevant again in the future is well and good, but the remembrance of the departed is a private matter for those that knew them. And, now that I think about it, the Village is curiously free of memorials of any kind. No graves of course with the shades being as they are, but no statues in squares or plaques on buildings or monuments of any other sort. Only the archive and its records that may or may not get cleared out by Theo every few generations. Were such a memorialization going anywhere other than a likely-to-be-forgotten shelf in the archive or I anyone other than the Archivist, I doubt she would have agreed to it. As it was, I found myself promising Niobe that I would give her and Ka’ena the final version of whatever we wrote for their approval before committing it to the archival record.

Later on, once we had finished the interview and were on our way back to the library for the evening, Cass would confess to having felt a similar sentiment toward what we were doing but then having been caught up in the idea of doing something new and different enough that the feeling had passed until Niobe brought it back up.

Never before have I felt like such an outsider for keeping this journal. My own memorial to myself. But it’s always been more than a passive record, hasn’t it? It’s been an active tool for framing, processing, and understanding my experiences as they happen. And shaping them. Not a factual accounting of events, but the story I tell myself to understand the world and myself. And I am not the most reliable of narrators.

But I digress. Back to chronological order.

I don’t know why, but for some reason I expected Ka’eo’s room to dark and dreary. Sterile. A preemptive tomb for one who was already dead and just waiting for the body to finish shutting down.

But it wasn’t. It was, in a word, warm. The crystal lighting the room was one with an oranger hue. The window had its curtains thrown wide to let in a beam of afternoon sun that would gradually shift to the last golden rays of evening as we spoke. The walls and shelves held the careworn mementos of two lives spent alongside one another. The pillow on one side of the bed still held the impression of Niobe’s head.

And then there was Ka’eo himself. Yes, he was thinner than I remember. Yes, his eyes were sunken. Yes, he had dozed off in the time between Huan leaving his side and us coming into the room. But when Cass spoke up to say hello he roused himself quickly. His smile was bright. His eyes were focused. His sense of humor was intact as he apologized for not getting up to greet us (“but I think someone slipped a slab of iron between my sheets”).

And, okay, he did briefly mistake me for the old archivist whom he was apparently friends with, but to be fair I was wearing my “official duty” outfit that had been tailored from my predecessor’s old clothes with the pendant on full display. That confusion cleared up quickly enough though and once I explained what Cass and I were there for he was all too eager to reminisce. After some encouraging prodding anyway.

He half-joked some about not having anything important to say worth writing down, but I told him that it wasn’t about being important. It was about being him. As much or as little as he wanted to say about anything at all. He found the whole endeavor strange, but in an amusing sort of way.

He spoke of dry seasons spent helping his father in the bakery. He spoke of waking up early in the morning to greet his mother when she came home for the long night patrol. He spoke of rainy seasons spent in school making friends that lasted the rest of his life. He spoke of the ones that had gone before him. He spoke of the ones that would probably follow him over the next few years. He spoke of clear days running about the labyrinthine streets of the Village with those friends. He spoke of the day he was distracted from his play by the steady rhythm of hammer on metal. He spoke of his first time near the forge, its heat so familiar and yet so unlike his father’s oven. He spoke of the blacksmith who would become his mentor. He spoke of a gruff, taciturn man whose first and only love was his craft. He spoke of mutual respect slowly earned and built over years, despite him talking enough for the both of them. He spoke of his fear of leaving his father without an apprentice. He spoke of his father’s unconditional support once he finally worked up the courage to announce his intention to become the next blacksmith. He spoke of the young outsider who became a common sight at home after his mother took her under her wing as a junior guard. He spoke of the girl who became like a younger sister to him when she apprenticed to his father and who still runs the bakery to this day. He spoke of his pride when he handed his mother a spear with a shiny new tip he’d shaped himself. He spoke of being prodded by that outsider to dance with a girl at an equinox festival whom he’d not spoken to since his school days. He spoke of meetings with that girl becoming more frequent. He spoke of reluctantly turning down an offer to go with that outsider to Cloud Tower, but promising to help supply her and see her and her other friends off. He spoke of the strongest storm he’d ever seen appearing in the middle of a dry season. He spoke of the search for the fisher woman who went missing in the storm. He spoke of the long wait for those who never returned from Cloud Tower. He spoke of funerals that were never held for disappearing forever is not the same as dying. He spoke of moving in with the girl he danced with years ago. He spoke of their wedding. He spoke of their decision to visit the Blossom Field. He spoke of the joy of his daughter’s birth. He spoke of sleepless nights tending to a noisy infant. He spoke of the sorrow of his parents’ passing, first his father, then his mother, then his mentor. He spoke of sleepless nights thinking of words left unsaid. He spoke of works he’d crafted. He spoke of nails and barrels and breastplates he’d repaired. He spoke of his pride when his daughter first did the same. He spoke of the strange mixture of fear and satisfaction when she started spending time with that fisher boy. He spoke of how her moving out felt less painful than he’d expected since he still spent most of every day with her. He spoke of how quiet the house felt in the following months. He spoke of the night he caught a nature sprite with skin of flame and hair of metal stealing tools from the workshop. He spoke of the offerings left out for weeks afterward that were never accepted. He spoke of how he spoke to no one about his encounter that seemed increasingly like a dream. He spoke of his concern for the future when his grandson decided to be a fisher instead of a blacksmith. He spoke of the acceptance he found thinking back to how his own mentor had no child and that surely some other youth would come along one day, entranced by the sound of hammer on metal.

He started to speak of his last work, but stopped himself saying that I already knew all about that.

It was dark by the time we finished. Occasionally during all that Cass or I would prompt him, or ask questions, or just comment in response to an anecdote, but for the most part it was just letting Ka’eo’s memories flow over us like a stream from a spring. From the things Lin had said, I was honestly surprised at how coherent he was. He was clearly flagging toward the end though, making an obvious effort to stay awake through his own reminiscence. In retrospect, I probably should have told him to take it easy and rest if he needs to because I can always come back tomorrow, but truthfully I was too enthralled to think about that. Stories can have that effect, and what is a life but a tapestry of interwoven stories?

It will take time to compile all those notes into a more formal record. I don’t know that it will be complete before he’s gone. Although, after tonight I almost doubt Lin’s estimates on how little time he has left. But only almost, for he just seemed so ready to go. He even said as much more than once. Not that he was eager to die or tired of life. Rather, he just seemed so utterly accepting of the idea that he was done here and it was time to move on that I’m not sure if I’m inspired or horrified. Is that what I’m trying to emulate?

Also, Maiko. I guess I have some idea now why she was so set on taking up blacksmithing and why she was so evasive about her motivation. But is it because she sees it as a way to get closer to her mother or because she’s trying to make up for her mother’s theft? Or some muddled combination of both along with who knows what other emotions that might not even be clear to her? A part of me feels like I should talk to her about it. Make sure she’s doing it because she wants to and not because she feels like she has to. Especially if it’s going to be bad for her health. Another part of me feels like I have no place to be telling her what to do or how to feel. Like I’d just be sticking my clumsy fingers into a wound that hasn’t fully healed yet.

I don’t know. Maybe avoid bringing it up outright and unprompted, but say something if the topic happens to arise naturally in conversation?

Friendship is hard complicated.

<==Previous Next==>

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bklynmusicnerd · 11 months

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I love reading your perspective on gh, particularly Trina and Spencer. I love that you don’t stay on the surface level of what’s happening but think beyond that to the whys of it all. There’s a reason (when written well) Trina and Spencer move the way they do on the show and it’s important to take that into account when thinking about what they are doing, the decisions they are making. We all make decisions based off our knowledge and experiences. That’s going to inform a lot of decisions these characters make. We see that Spencer continues to be bothered by the break up of their friends group, first because of Esme and followed by the arrival of Dex, hence why he has smoke for days for these two among other reasons. They symbolize the fall of this friend group for Spencer so seeing them causes a visceral reaction and he wants to lash out. We have to remember Spencer has abandonment issues so change is hard for people like that. As we saw at the pool, making Trina happy eventually outweighed his anger towards the situation that at the end of the day he can’t do anything about and it’s just the new reality that’s he’s just gonna have to accept no matter how much it pains him to, as Trina said, “Let. It. Go.”

Thanks for the kind words, anon. Anything purely surface-level is boring to me so it's hard for to me to view any media in that way. I'm a big fan of looking at the "why" and exploring what makes characters tick. I like doing that with Trina and Spencer because I think, when they're written well, there's a lot more going on with them than the surface-level impressions of them as good, studious girl and wealthy bad boy. So that's fun for me to explore.

I also definitely agree with you on Spencer having animosity for Dex and Little Miss White Privilege because they exist as these damaging threats to their friend group. I really like this idea of Spencer seeing the friend group as like a second family for him. The quad of Nik, Lucky, Liz and Emily definitely functioned like a found family. And the friend group Spencer wants with Trina, Cam and Joss is probably never going to come to fruition like that. It's basically on life support after Little Miss White Privilege's antics and the Joss and Dex affair. Of course the reality is that if the friend group was really that strong, they would have survived Little Miss White Privilege and Dex easily.

So maybe Spencer is going through that phenomenon where it's easier to blame outside threats as opposed to looking at the internal weaknesses. It is good that Spencer finally had that moment of prioritizing maintaining peace for Trina when she needed it over picking a pointless fight. It was a solid contrast to his behavior at the beginning of the wedding. I did find it kind of interesting that Trina is basically telling Spencer to let it go and adapt to the new normal. Because she's also grappling with her own inability to let go.

She's lying to herself about Joss because she's afraid to face the new reality of what type of person her best friend is becoming. So, in a weird way, Spencer and Trina have similar hangups, Trina's passive approach to hers just comes across more functional than Spencer's combative approach.

#gh #spencer cassadine #trina robinson #i really loved what you had to say about spencer's thought process #i feel like all signs are pointing to friend group collapse and i wish the writers would just go for it

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smhalltheurlsaretaken · 3 years

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Sorry but what exactly is up with the bad batch arc? I've heard people talk about the issues with echo's white skin but I haven't heard that many bad things about the arc itself? (ik you said you don't want to be negative on your blog so I would absolutely understand if you didn't answer this ask)

Oooooooooooh boy. Well I just had a long, long, LONG rant about it with someone, but I guess I’ve got an excuse to put all of my points onto a post and talk about it publicly now that I got an ask x) I’ll keep it under the cut so I don’t throw my salt in people’s face. I really don’t want to upset people who love that arc - it has redeeming qualities, but overall it pisses me off so much for so many reasons. So here:

The first issue is obviously two members of the Bad Batch (minus Echo) being being just about the furthest thing from maori no matter how much you're willing to stretch it.

Like... yeah, nah. I wouldn’t even accept Crosshair and Tech (grey haired guy and goggles guy) as Jango’s natural biological sons, nevermind as his clones.

The problem is that their different appearances are justified by them being described simply as clones with desirable mutations (i.e superpowers). But why the hell did the creators have to change their appearances for that to be a thing? How does that correlate? Sure, the concept of clones with different faces is interesting, except... no, no it’s not, and I’m gonna rant about it in a few secs. But basically it's like they thought giving them different faces would be a good substitute for having different personalities (another thing I’ll come back to). If they really wanted to have buff clones with super eyesight or whatnot they could have just done that, without making them lose what little melanin the lighting of the show had allowed the other Clones to keep.

But the gigantic problem is... showing that the "regular" clones have VERY distinct identities despite their identical faces has been one of the themes of the show from episode 1. Literally, the first episode of TCW has Yoda taking time out of a mission with galactic stakes to tell the three clones he’s with (who tell him they’re all the same because they have the same faces) that they’re wrong, and that they’re very different in the Force, that their appearance doesn’t matter, that they’re all equally unique and important, and he lists all of their individual skills, strengths and weaknesses.

And it’s not just me being bothered by that, here’s a post by @cacodaemonia saying the same thing.

Introducing the Bad Batch as "unique" clones who are "different" and "not like their brothers" because they have different faces and skills completely breaks that theme of the show!! Because the entire point of the Clones in TCW is that their faces don't matter, they ARE unique!

(Plus the Bad Batch’s character designs are so cliche and uninspired it’s just laughable to try and justify bleaching their freaking skin for the sake of visual diversity.

This took like 10 seconds. I found the first guy by literally googling “soldier movies,” and the other two are Team Fortress characters that look a LOT like Wrecker and Crosshair. One is “Heavy” and one is “Sniper” lmao.

And behold:

The above picture is a Team Fortress reference that I found just by looking up “bad batch clone wars,” so I’m not the only person who sees it.)

And the batchers don't even have personalities to justify calling them unique! They have no character traits beyond the most cliché american soldier tropes ever. We have a token loner sniper, a token "smart tech guy" who knows everything from xenoanthropology to biology to Separatist computers to sound waves to encryption, a token Badass Brooding Leader and a token “dumb muscle guy.”

I dare anyone to find more about their personalities than this: - Crosshair is the perpetually grumpy sniper who looks down on "regs,” - Wrecker likes to blow up stuff and doesn't like heights, - Hunter is the leader and is friends with Cody, - Tech is smart doesn't trust Echo.

That’s it, that’s literally it. Four episodes about them and that's all we get. These character tropes are literally the least inventive ever. FFS, Hunter even has a freaking KNIFE! Not a vibroblade, mind you, like in kriffing Star Wars. A knife. Against metal droids. Why. They couldn’t make this more of an american-war-movies cliché fest if they tried. (And sure, he can feel electromagnetic waves so maybe it does make sense for him not to carry a vibroblade and maybe this is nitpicking, but he looks like a ripoff of a Predator character and it pisses me off).

Another thing is that when you introduce characters you have to make them likable - and them despising the normal Clones is a terrible way to do that! And they don't even grow from that because at the end of the 4 episodes arc they just see Rex as not bad "for a reg" and they see Echo as no longer a reg, and both of these things are infuriating!

The worst thing imo is that Echo then becomes part of them (and irreparably loses his melanin in the process, uuuuuuuuugh) when there is nothing to justify this.

The dialogue goes like this:

ECHO: You coming? TECH: Not really our thing. CROSSHAIR: Accolades. WRECKER: Yeah, we're just in it for the thrill. Yo! HUNTER: You sure it's your thing? ECHO: What do you mean? HUNTER: Your path is different. Like ours. If you ever feel like you don't fit in with them, well, find us. (they leave) REX: Those are some of the finest troopers I've ever fought alongside. Echo. You and I go way back. If that's where you feel your place is, then that's where you belong.

Echo doesn't feel like he belongs anymore, okay, but why would he feel like he belongs with the assholes who up to the last five minutes of the mission thought he was probably a traitor, and also verbally expressed that he was not worth saving?? In all of the arc, Echo himself never voices that he feels he’s not ‘like the other Clones’ anymore and that he feels it’s a problem. His relationship with Rex immediately picks up where they left things off - the first thing he does upon being lucid again for the first in over a year is cracking a joke for Rex’s benefit.

Why would Echo feel like he doesn’t belong in the 501st anymore, when we don't even see him interacting with anyone from his past life except for Rex and Anakin (who are both extremely very supportive of him)?? If there had been one scene of a “regular” Clone (ugh) looking at him with horror and disgust or something, or just Kix and Jesse cracking jokes with Echo awkwardly standing by the side not getting it, I could forgive the show trying to make it feel like he has an identity crisis, but this was so shallow!

The only thing that makes Echo and the Bad Batch’s experiences similar is that they *look* different. It’s so against the themes of the Clones I’m seething just from thinking about it. And what the hell? Echo ALREADY didn’t fit in. That was the WHOLE POINT of Domino Squad. They didn’t fit in because they thought they were better than anyone else because they had trouble getting along with their brothers, so obviously it had to be their brothers’ fault (ahem, Bad Batch?). And you know what happened? Domino Squad OVERCAME that. And Echo and Fives still didn’t “fit in” because their personalities were unique and creative, and they became ARC Troopers because Cody, Rex and the Jedi VALUED THEM FOR PRECISELY THAT. Echo having new and unique skills and a modified appearance is the most bs justification for him feeling like he doesn’t belong!!

And that brings me to my biggest issue: Rex telling Echo the bad batch are some of the best troopers he's ever met. I'm sorry, based on WHAT? What Rex values above everything is loyalty and brotherhood, and the Bad Batch DOESN'T DISPLAY ANY OF THAT. We never see them even expressing concern for each other! Wrecker treats saving Cody’s life like a trivial issue, because it’s just ‘sO eAsY’ for him, and beyond that we never see them supporting each other or genuinely expressing affection for each other beyond boasting about each other’s skills...

Sure they can destroy a lot of droids, but they're dismissive of Rex's brothers, and the entire Umbara arc and this arc showed what he thought of that. They keep saying things like "not bad for a reg,” don't show any trust in Rex's skills or experience (even though they can't have been fighting in the war for more than a year and a half when he’s been there from the beginning, and he outranks all of them), they are essentially guerilla fighters which has only minimal value in a galactic war, and they never grow beyond their views of what regs are, and can and can’t do.

None of that should make them good troopers in Rex's book. Going back to Echo not fitting in, remember who taught the Domino Squad the importance of seeing all of your brothers as important and equally valuable? Shaak Ti, true, but more importantly? 99! The guy the Bad Batch are named after. He did have value and was important and was no less of a trooper than his brothers, even though his mutations made him LESS powerful, not more. (And btw, just from a writing standpoint, the batchers don’t have any weaknesses, which is shit.) Cody and Rex mourned 99 as a true soldier even though it wasn’t his sacrifice that brought them victory (which would have implied that he had value as a soldier and a brother because he saved them, as opposed to him having that value intrinsically), because that’s what a fine trooper is to them. A BROTHER first a foremost, someone altruistic, brave and loyal. The Bad Batch distort the meaning of 99's character with their behavior. They’re not altruistic, their bravery is mitigated by the fact that they’re freaking invincible, so of course they take risks (again, see Wrecker saving Cody without a care because it’s easy to him, as opposed to Rex being ready to run into a burning ship about to explode because his brother is in there, and having to be physically dragged away). The Bad Batch denigrate their brothers for being less skilled, thinking their own abilities make them unique somehow, when 99 could barely fight and was still the one who taught Hevy about being a good soldier.

And again the batchers don't grow from that. Which is all the more frustrating because the original ending didn’t have Echo joining them, from what I remember of the unfinished episodes, and the arc actually ended with them receiving their medals in front of regular troopers who cheer for them, as opposed to them smugly ostracizing themselves and dismissing the ceremony as trivial and meaningless. (original ending vs s7 ending: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab1eCfzKamw)

It’s so annoying. Do you know what characters never had an entire arc dedicated to them and still have far more personality and more interesting designs and more symbolic weight??

Jesse, for starters. Kix. Dogma. Cut. Slick. Keeli. Ponds. Rys, Jek and Thire. Commander Doom. Commander Fox. Wolffe. Hevy. Hardcase.

Cody was a more interesting character just in his RotS appearances.

Waxer and Boil had one episode about them and then only two cameos plus Waxer’s death, and they’re still some of the most memorable, beloved Clones of the whole show. And Boil was grouchy and prejudiced like Crosshair, but he has so much growth that we could make a whole thread about it.

I'd say the last problem with the Bad Batch is that it has cash grabbing money hungry vibes. Different faces are more marketable, cliché personalities are more toy-friendly, and it's basically a big ad for the Bad Batch series. And they throw Echo in the Batch at the end for bs reasons (again, it wasn’t in the original ep from what I remember) and they tease Cody in the show to make sure fans will still watch even if they notice the lack of soul. And less melanin sells more at Disney apparently.

So that’s my whole pissed rant.

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psychewritesbs · 3 years

Photo

Chapter 159: Justice is blind + Foreshadowing from chapter 6 and JJK0?

This chapter we’re introduced to Higuruma, one of the players in the Culling Game with 100 points who Yuji and Megumi will most likely target in an attempt to add new rules to the game.

As I mentioned before, JJK is the equivalent of Murphy’s Law on steroids and we are guaranteed for Gege to pull the rug from under our feet. For all you know, the odds that Higuruma agrees to help them without a problem are 50/50.

Onto this week’s theories... This is a long one so brace yourself.

Higuruma’s Shikigami is the stuff of nightmares

Higuruma’s Shikigami, if that’s what it is, is loaded with symbolism. Perfect for my Cursed Technique of reading between the lines and over-thinking every single detail.

What I love about Higuruma is that he is a man on a mission--sort of like a Shonen Protagonist. He is single-minded in his pursuit of saving those he sees as victims to the monster that is the Japanese legal court system.

Despite continuing to put himself on the line for the people he is trying to “save,” the oppressive system that they are part of makes it impossible for him to achieve his goals. And yet, he keeps trying to fight the beast that is the legal system even when the odds of him ever winning are .1%.

In the end, it isn’t the legal system itself that breaks him, but rather his own unwavering conviction combined with his frustration and the anger from those he promised a victory he was not able to deliver despite his greatest efforts.

The only thing granted to all is an unfair reality

Lady Justice has been depicted as blind since the 16th century. Her blindfold is meant to represent her objectivity and impartiality before the law.

But Higuruma knows that a 99.9% conviction rate is anything but objective and impartial. Keeping his “eyes open” is his desire to bring awareness to a system that is broken.

What I found interesting, however, is that while Higuruma is intent on keeping his eyes open, his Shikigami’s eyes are sewn shut, as though they are being forced shut by thread.

If there is anyone who is closest to embodying the ideal of blind justice, it is Higuruma.

This makes me wonder how we’re going to see Higuruma’s character evolve, especially as he comes across Yuji and friends.

Higuruma vs. Megumi/Yuji?

Remember I said Higuruma might be willing to help Yuji and Megumi add a rule? I don’t think that’s what’s going to happen, but it is still a possibility. He does seem like a fair (pun intended) person after all.

What’s being set up, I feel like (and I could be wrong), is a showdown between two opposing belief systems:

Higuruma’s blind trust in serving and facilitating justice vs Megumi’s self-serving justice.

Ironically, they both

want to save good people,

neither considers himself to be a hero, and

their sense of justice is self-serving... they just have different criteria for what that means

Higuruma wants to facilitate justice for people who are innocent but are victims of the Japanese Law system. He’s done the research and he believes these people to be innocent and as having done nothing wrong.

On the other hand, Megumi wants to facilitate justice for people he cares about no matter how potentially dangerous they are (and this last bit is really important).

I realized recently that despite Sukuna having killed a lot of people during Shibuya, Megumi has not attempted to kill him since the Cursed Womb Arc.

Remember, Megumi has said he’s responsible for those deaths since he was the one who saved Yuji.

In addition, not only does Megumi need Yuji’s strength to save Tsumiki, but I am going to go as far as saying that Megumi cares deeply for Yuji to the point he still doesn’t want him to die even after everything that has happened up to this point.

Which begs the question, how is Higuruma going to react to Yuji’s existence?

This brings me to the possible foreshadowing from all the way back in the Cursed Womb Arc and possibly even JJK0.

Foreshadowing from chapter 6 or Crack Theory?

When I first read the new chapter I was intrigued that one of the characters Higuruma is defending as an attorney has a similar backstory to Tadashi from back in chapter 6.

Although their face structure looks similar...

The circumstances are slightly different in that Tadashi’s case involved driving without a license and Higuruma’s client was drunk driving.

But if we’re willing to suspend judgement for a minute, this is important because, if it is, in fact, Tadashi he is referring to here, then this panel just goes to show that Gege foreshadows like a boss.

And what if that girl who got ran over happens to be Rika from JJK0?

There isn’t necessarily concrete evidence that Tadashi is the one who ran Rika over AND I would need to look at the timeline of events more closely, but if it IS the case... talk about butterfly effect in action.

But the foreshadowing doesn’t end there. Someone pointed out that in chapter 143, Megumi tells Yuji they aren’t heroes fighting for justice and that no one can truly ever judge JJS.

So... no one can judge sorcerers, unless judging is exactly what Higuruma has been doing to rack up points...

The fact that Higuruma has 100 points tells us he’s been on a killing rampage, and from everything we see him go through in the chapter and from that look on his face in the last panel, we should not be surprised that he’s gone off the deep end.

Honestly, characters who loose their shit (hello Feral Megumi) are one of my favorite things about JJK.

I am writing all of this because it goes to show that Gege does not show you anything in his story that doesn’t have meaning in the grander scheme of things. Which leaves room for interpretation about whether Saori and Yuko will have roles moving forward.

Right along these lines, in looking for a specific line from chapter 9, I ran into this little gem:

Is this foreshadowing about Tsumiki too?

Maybe, maybe not.

As I said before, half the fun is in going through the journey of JJK unfolding before our very own eyes, while putting the pieces together from all of the breadcrumbs Gege dropped along the way.

But the fun doesn’t end there. I am fascinated at how as a fandom we willingly get traumatized when Gege kills off everybody and their mom that you cared about, while simultaneously loving every single minute of it.

We know it’s coming, and we’re there for it.

That’s Gege’s Cursed Technique for you... he gives you what you didn’t know you wanted.

Gege setting up the stage for madness

All in all, Gege has been painstakingly setting the stage for the madness that is to come during the Culling Game and the hype just keeps on escalating. If the Culling Game arc is anything like Shibuya, we can expect, again, Murphy’s Law in full effect.

I was chatting with @darthdutton about how I started reading the Shibuya Arc only a few months ago and therefore I did not get to experience it as it was unfolding.

It makes me so happy that I now get to experience the Culling Game as it happens and I am both so distraught and excited for whatever comes our way.

And when I say “whatever comes our way” I mean that I trust Gege to continue to surprise me.

I am here for the hype but I stay for the story

I loved this chapter!

I thought it was the f*cking bomb.com because you can see Gege starting to tie loose ends from possible foreshadowing he shared at the beginning of the story.

Plus, we got to see his story-telling skills in action as he creates yet another relatable character.

I truly admire Gege as a writer--the fact that he can come up with a story on a week-to-week basis, execute on it, create very human and relatable characters, set up foreshadowing all the way back at the beginning, and drop breadcrumbs along the way is just mind-blowing to me.

God, I love Jujutsu Kaisen.

Anyways... this was a bit long but I just felt like I had a lot to say about this seemingly insignificant chapter. Hope you enjoyed it, and as always, I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts on it!

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen manga #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #god i love jujutsu kaisen #jjk theory #jjk ch 159 #fushiguro megumi #megumi fushiguro #yuji itadori #Itadori yuji #gege akutami #okkotsu yuta

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saturnsummer · 3 years

Text

i don't mind forever.

AU: When Sol is handed a case, she doesn't realise how big the case gets. Luckily for her, her best friend is here. (AU of lawyers at Hankuk Law Firm.)

notes: all credits go to @thenerdywriter !! she gave me this prompt just days after i joined tumblr, and i’ve been working on and off on it ever since. my first au series, so please go easy on me! i know i’m practically killing myself for doing two series at once, but i’ll deal with it later. as always, big love to everyone! any grammar mistakes and all will be taken fully responsible by me!

ao3 link

words: 4035 words

one.

Sol scrunches her hair in frustration. She twists her long, wavy light brown hair in a bun, fixing it with a jab of her white, long chopstick hairpin. She adjusts her bangs for good measure and resumes with her report. She reaches over to her coffee mug, only to find it empty. Great, it’s the third coffee she had today, and it wasn’t even lunch. Hearing her colleagues nagging on drinking too much coffee in her head, she stands from her desk and pushes the glass door of her office to the staff pantry. Her heels click against the marble floors as she strides across, filling her cup with iced water before retreating back.

It would have been a normal day at the Hankuk Law firm, but it wasn’t when she had such a pressing case.

It's been weeks. A client of hers has pressed charges against Lee Man Ho, claiming that he scammed her life savings. Lee Manho was a convict that was charged for raping multiple women and on several occasions, sexual harassment. He had been on good behaviour after his release for a couple of years, with no complaints and no news. Only now did his name resurface. He was snarky in his speech, manipulative and quick with his tongue, but most of all had a sinister smile that sent shivers.

Sol, being Sol, couldn’t say no to the poor woman. How could she? She experienced her fair share of poverty from growing up in a single-parent family that made enough to get by. She sympathised with her feelings, knowing just how stressed this poor mother must be when she can no longer afford to pay rent for her home, even less so the necessities for her toddler kids. Because, too many times, Sol was found broke and skipping meals so she could have her younger sister, Byeol, be fed instead.

With the help of the local police, she found more victims to be scammed, all similar in their scenario. Manho would call under the alias of a financial aid consultant, sometimes an insurance agent or bank teller. Then, he would extract their bank numbers from them, effectively draining their money away. By the time they victims tried to call back, the number would be out of order, or picked up by another voice, evident that he used another number to cover up his.

None of his victims had anything in common. Some were rich, some were poor. Some were female, some were male. And Manho had long disappeared in the wind the moment he got out of jail. He was said to be sighted once and when the police placed eyes on him, they lost him that same day.

His digital footprint was an utter headache as well. The police had other things to matter, and figuring out his digital footprint was the least of their concerns when they had important murders and urgent matters to solve.

But two could play this game.

Seungjae was a good friend of Sol’s. They were close acquaintances in school and kept in close contact. He, unlike Sol, was a whiz with computer codes and had his fair share of hacking experience. She remembers how he would hack into the system during school events and broadcast short music videos on the school televisions during breaks. Despite their age gap, he was always courteous, nice and kind hearted in helping others.

Seungjae eventually found a job with the police force, using his skills to legally hack criminal networks and dark nets. He was essentially part of a task force that identified suspicious activities like mass radicalisation, fake news and essentially tracking down internet hackers. It was a no-brainer that Sol would approach him, even though she knew that he could only legally hack under his work orders, not for personal favours.

Well it’s best she at least try.

She called Seungjae, who was fortunately free, and agreed to meet at a cafe. The sun was out, warming them from the autumn breeze that chilled them. Sol grabbed her coat and placed a post-it on her door, informing her colleagues of her business. Sol, while dressed in a warm coat, was undoubtedly freezing from the breeze. If only she could go back to law school, where she wore jeans and sweatshirts all day. Instead, she had a light blue long sleeved blouse, a knee length pencil skirt and a midnight blue blazer, and her only coat she had weakly shielding her from the cold.

“Sol A, what gives me the feeling that you aren’t calling for the purpose of catching up, but for a favour?” Seungjae asks as soon as his ice coffee arrives. Sol is amused at his habit, that he still calls her Sol A to differentiate her from Sol B, her colleague just working next door to her. But in response, she gives a small frown.

“Oppa, please? You have to help me with this. This case is driving me nuts!” She says in frustration as she stirs her ice tea. “Look, he’s off the grid, like properly off. I can’t even track his number or his email accounts. When the police placed plainclothes on him, he was like a ninja and they lost him within the first hour.”

Seungjae’s frown deepens. He knows of people who are good on the internet, but for an ex-convict to be running this alone? Furthermore, a convict who had no criminal record of scamming, conning and IT based crimes? There was definitely more to this.

“Sol A, do you think that he’s working alone?” Seungjae asks, stopping Sol in her speech. She tilts her head, the way she does normally when she puts the puzzle pieces in order. From her bag, she takes out a notebook and scribbles down the facts, then pushes it to the centre of the table.

“Okay, so we know that Lee Manho was convicted of rape and sexual harassment long time ago. Now, he’s running scams, and has no known background of coding or conning people, yet somehow the money appears in his bank account and it disappears the next moment.” Sol states as she circles her notes with a pencil and Seungjae nods.

“I think… I think you’re right, oppa. He’s definitely not working alone. And he could just be the middleman bringing the cash from one place to another.” Sol breaths out, realising how big the case has gotten. She’s not just going after Lee Manho, but she’s going after an entire team.

“You said that you can’t track his whereabouts, people he communicates with and where the money is going to?” SeungJae asks. Sol nods.

“Looks like someone is covering up the transfers and his tracks.” Seungjae concludes. Seungjae furrows his eyebrows. Sol recognises his thinking face and tries to plea once more.

“Please, oppa? You helped me check out and verify Yeseul’s boyfriend, which saved her life! Please, oppa…” Sol pleads with him. Seungjae knew how much Sol was going to dedicate to this, and besides, he was legally going to hack. He was fighting for those who couldn’t fight. What difference would it make? It felt wrong to ignore such a desperate plea.

“Fine. But you have to let me use a laptop that isn’t mine. I can’t have my superiors know I’m hacking into a case that wasn’t submitted to me again. God, Yeseul’s ex-boyfriend case got me a bloody earful from the captain.” He finally agrees, getting up from his seat and grabbing his coat. Sol lets out a relieved sigh and picks her coat too.

“Thank you, thank you!”

“Save it for later, when I’m done hacking. Let’s head back to your office for now.” He says and walks to the door. At that moment, Sol’s phone rings, and she picks up, knowing who will call at this time of the day. If it’s lunch, it has to either be Yeseul or Joon Hwi.

“Are you joining us for lunch, sunbae?” Sol takes a moment to close her eyes in frustration. This man is going to drive her insane.

“Yeah. Are you all ordering?”

“That’s right. Extra pickles?”

“Always. Add one more jjampong and kkampungi, too.” The receiving end goes silent.

“Who’s joining?” Sol gives a knowing smile as she unlocks her car.

“An old friend of ours.”

-----

“Wah, it’s been a long time since Seungjae-hyung could eat with us!” BokGi says, as he passes out the chopsticks and Yebeom unpacks the meals. Seungjae only gives a small smile while helping out with the food.

Despite the cold weather, the odd group of friends found pleasure in eating outdoors as opposed to their office pantry. It was too noisy some days, too quiet on some, and knowing how chaotic the group can get during lunch, it only made sense to have their meals downstairs at some benches. Besides, they could use a break from being stuck in their offices all day and look at trees changing their colours to shades of red, oranges and brown.

“Thank your noona here, for convincing me to come.” He says as he nods his head over to Sol, who is busy unpacking her pickles and noodles. Joon Hwi gives a smile as he stares at the delight on her face when she sees those yellow pickles on a plastic saucer.

“Hyung, what are you here for?” Joon Hwi asks, as he unpacks his noodles.

“This lady here has enlisted my help once again for a case she is working on. But it has to be off the books. Thus, my presence here instead of my cubicle back at my headquarters.” Sol chokes and she quickly takes a sip of her tea.

“Oppa, why do you make me sound so law breaking…” Sol grumbles. Yeseul, sitting next to her only gives a small smile and squeezes her hand.

“Seungjae-oppa did help me bring Yeongchang to jail. So I would consider his work, whether under his boss orders or not, to be lawful.” Yeseul quips quietly. The table grows silent for a moment, knowing how this topic took a mental toll out of them, but Yeseul was hit the hardest.

When Yeseul first started dating Yeongchang, everyone didn’t mind it. Only when Sol witnessed how Yeseul would be frightened to pick up his call and spotting bruises on her arms did she get Seungjae to dig into his personal life. Lo and behold, not only was he abusive, he was seeing two other women and they were treated badly, if not, worse.

Yeseul’s heart broke, this being her first love and the man she envisioned marrying. But with her friends' support, she took it upon herself to press charges on him, for the women he tortured and for herself. Representing herself and the women that he had failed to protect and taken advantage of, it wasn’t easy for her, having been so blind in love and still harbouring feelings.

The group stood by and silently supported. They accompanied her trials, no matter how busy they were. Sol remembers Jiho running from one courtroom to another on one occasion when he had to immediately attend a court hearing for a client he was defending. Sol had Yeseul stay over at her apartment during the entire situation, while Yeseul searched for an apartment nearby after moving out of his house. Even Sol B, who was usually cold, bought her meals and stayed to eat when the girls spent late nights in silence and drinking.

Finally, the judge ruled that Yeongchang was to be charged in jail. For the sexual, mental and physical abuse of these women, including Yeseul. It has been months since then and time can only tell how much she has healed. The rest can only give their silent support and be there for her.

“I didn’t mean to make the mood bad. Come, let’s eat. Also, what is the case about, unnie?” Yeseul quickly breaks into a smile, an attempt to let everyone know she’s okay. Sol gives a brief description of her case to everyone while she slurps her noodles and pickles.

“This is going to be difficult. If you guys are right, you might be dealing with something bigger than just Lee Manho.” Sol B states and Sol gives a nodded reply.

“Please don’t tell Superior Kim or Superior Yang about this. I really need to break this case and Seungjae-oppa is my only way to.” Sol informs her group. They give half hearted murmurs, not wanting to be meddled into Sol’s affairs. Well, all but one.

“Yah, why didn’t you come find me? I have my own contacts in the police as well.” Joon Hwi asks, a slight frown on his face. From anyone else looking, it would have been easy to miss. But for Sol, she knew that he was upset, interpreting his complaints as “Why didn’t you come and tell me about this first?”

“Because, Mr. Second Round Judicial Exam Pass, you have been too busy! Do I really need to remind you to eat every damm moment? You drive me crazy some days!” Sol argues. They launch into a light hearted argument, as the rest of the lunch group watches with equal fervour as they eat their meals.

“Guys, stop arguing, my ears hurt.” Jiho said, his tone in slight annoyance as he dove straight into the kkampungi and tangsuyuk. Sol finally gave up fighting, earning a teasing smirk from Joon Hwi. They continued their noisy meal, chatting and catching up with Seungjae. Seungjae gives them some updates of his pregnant wife and some interesting cases.

After their meal, they separated their trash neatly. The sun now hides away in the clouds, leaving little warmth against the chilly breeze of autumn. Sol brushes her coat and rubs her hands and arms. If only she could afford a better one than this old coat she’s been using since her first year in university.

Joon Hwi notices her trying to warm up against the cold and takes his coat from the chair, layering it on her. He honestly didn’t feel cold, but he knows he has always been the stronger one to resist against the cold. For Sol, it must be freezing.

“Take mine.” He simply says, taking the packs of plastic from Sol. If Sol had a hint of blush, he pretended to not notice.

“Oh, thanks.” She said as she took wipes from her bag and wiped down the mess on the benches and tables. “But I don’t need it. We’re heading back to the office anyway.” She shrugs his coat off and drapes it over her arm, returning it to him. He pushes it to her, and leans in closer to her.

“Help me carry it, so I don’t have to, sunbae.” He teases with a smirk, sending Sol in a fit of frustrated squeaks, chasing him as best as she can in her heels. Sol knows Joon Hwi gets a thing out of his teasing, and sends him annoyed glares as she continues to clear the tables. Jiho manages to sigh and Sol B rolls her eyes as she dumps the trash in the bins.

The group grabs their bags as they head back into the office, where Sol checks Seungjae in as a visitor at the reception. The receptionist hands him a blue lanyard with a visitor pass as Sol leads him to the elevators. Jiho and Bokgi are off to meet clients, and Sol B is headed to court for a hearing. Yeseul stops at another floor to her office with Yebeom, who needs to pick up some reports from a colleague.

Joon Hwi follows Sol to her office with Seungjae, despite his office being upstairs. Sol grabs her personal laptop from her bag, which is separate from her desktop computer and passes it to Seungjae, who takes a seat opposite her and starts programming the computer to begin hacking.

“What, did you just let him use your personal laptop?” Joon Hwi asks in concern as he takes a seat on a spare chair.

“Let him do it. Don’t you have your reports to do?” Sol asks as she turns to her own reports before typing in her findings for the new Lee Manho case. Joon Hwi doesn’t reply, and Sol sends an annoyed glance. He’s not going to leave unless he knows all the information of this case.

“Okay, I got it.” Seungjae says after a series of clicks and turns the screen to show Sol what he has found. Sol leans into a chart of bank transfers.

"From what I can tell, it seems like the money enters his bank account and is transferred to an offshore account. I can't trace where the money goes from there anymore." Seungjae explains as he uses the cursor to show them. "I can't tell who owns the account either. If I could take a guess, it's probably the mastermind of this."

"Wait, look. Lee Manho is getting paid a constant amount every single time before a large sum comes in and leaves." Joon Hwi points. Sol grabs her printed papers as she matches the amounts that her clients have given here. They match exactly to the large sums, but have no relation to the constant amount that he gets every scam.

"He's getting paid to scam? Tch, God, I hate this crook." Sol says through gritted teeth. Joon Hwi sighs and observes the anger rising in Sol. He places a hand on top of her clenched fist for comfort and her fist stops clenching as she sighs in response.

"Sol A, I can't track his location with your laptop. It's not exactly ideal, since it can be tracked back." Seungjae says, eyes darting while continuously typing. Joon Hwi could sense the disappointment in Sol's face, but it can't be helped. It was too dangerous from her location and IP address.

"Oppa, thank you for helping. I owe you one." Sol says as Seungjae scrubs her laptop clean from hacking traces. Seungjae returns her laptop and stands up. "You should go back, oppa. You've been gone too long."

"I'll keep you updated." He says as Sol guides him out of the office. Once she shuts the door, she pulls the hairpin from her hair and crunches her hair in frustration. She has the information on where the money is going, but it's no use when she can't find out where he is. Joon Hwi takes a seat opposite her.

"Don't stress." He says softly, and Sol bites her lip in frustration.

"Don't stress? How can I not? The police aren't giving me any information on him, delaying his location tracking! I can't even find him! How am I supposed to get evidence to charge him, if he can't even appear to show up to court?" Sol angrily spills, her hands flailing. Joon Hwi sighs but grabs a hold of her wrist.

"Don't get swayed by your emotions." Joon Hwi firmly says, sparingly into Sol's anger-filled eyes. She pulls her wrist back, taking a deep breath before gathering her hair up again.

"Fine." She grumbles. "Get out of my office, Prosecutor Han. Don't you have work?" This earns a soft smile from Joon Hwi. As he heads to the door, he turns back before he leaves.

"Don't... Don't do anything stupid or impulsive, you hear me?"

Sol clicks her tongue and gives a half-hearted nod. She turns back to her report and updates her findings and tries to diffuse the thought of asking Seungjae to hack with her laptop to find Man Ho's location.

For Kang Sol A, such thoughts don't leave easily.

-----

"You sure?" Seungjae asks, seated in Sol's car. Sol takes a deep breath in and nods.

It was a few days after Seungjae visited the office. Sol called the police as much as she could, but they always left her on the line or just said "we're working on it." Thus, Sol told Seungjae to meet her at a park, before driving to a random alley and passing him her laptop.

"Yeah, I'll take my chances." She replied. Seungjae sighs and begins typing away.

"You know you're putting yourself at risk?" He asks, eyes never leaving the screen.

"I'll put myself at risk for the justice of my clients." She says firmly. A few minutes pass as Sol stares out of the car and watches the bright moon and the clouds floating by in misty swirls.

"Got it." Sol turns her attention to Seungjae. On the screen is a map and a blinking red dot of Manho’s location. Sol reads the map and puts her car back in drive before turning out of the alley.

"Woah, do you know where you are going?" Seungjae asks, grabbing onto the overhead handle for support and his hand securing the laptop.

"Seungjae-oppa, don't tell anyone about this, okay? Especially not Joon Hwi." Sol ignores his question as she speeds up the car, turning into a drop-off point of a train station.

"Sol A, you're-"

"Sorry, oppa. But I need to find him. I can't sit and wait for the police anymore. I promise you, I'll be safe." Sol says. Seungjae couldn't say no. He knows how stubborn Sol is, how when she decides on something, she will commit to it wholeheartedly.

"If he's armed, you could get yourself in danger." Seungjae exasperatedly sighs. It was too big a risk to see the junior he treats as a little sister put herself at risk.

"I'll be fine. Look, you're on my speed dial. You know that I can handle myself. There's a reason why I took years of self-defence classes." Sol tells him. Seungjae nods his head unwillingly.

"You better call me after you're done." He says as he opens the door and gets out of the car. "Please, please stay safe." Sol nods and gives a small smile.

"Thank you, oppa." Sol drives away immediately, leaving Seungjae to pinch his nose bridge in frustration and concern. Silently, as he boards the train, he prays for Sol's safety.

-----

Sol knows the area well. As she parks her car at a carpark, she checks to make sure Manho is still at the bar. The blinking dot stays stagnant at the bar, not moving ever since she dropped Seungjae off. Getting out, she tightens her coat around her and thanks herself for the long trousers she's wearing. At least she isn't wearing a skirt, if she needs to beat someone up.

Entering the bar, she naturally takes a slow walk around. But hidden by the corner of the bar tables sit a lone man, with a cap, dressed in black button up and holding a glass of golden whiskey. She knew that was her target.

Taking a seat next to him, she orders a glass of soda water from the bartender. Man Ho chuckles next to her as he sets his glass down. Turning his head, he faces Sol with sly eyes, lips curled at the corner.

"Prosecutor Kang, you're quick." She hears him say and a chill goes down her spine. She lets her eyes meet the cold stare of Manho.

"Oh, you think I don't know you? You're the one after me more than the police are for the past weeks." Man Ho sinisterly says, a sick grin on his face. Sol grits her teeth and takes a deep breath to soothe her anger.

"Why are you doing this? You think it's fun?Watching my clients suffer?" Sol says through her gritted teeth. He only scoffs.

"My, my. Don't want you getting agitated now, don't we? We just started." He says, sipping from his glass again.

"Answer my question." She says with force. Man Ho sips on his glass, swirling the golden brown liquid against the large square cubes of ice as he exhales.

As the words fall from his mouth, Sol grows as cold as the glass in her hand. Her hands slightly shake as she hitches her breath. When her shaky eyes turn to Manho’s, his eyes are sly with a mocking grin. No, he can’t know.

"You’re just as feisty as your sister, aren’t you?”

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authenticcadence18 · 3 years

Text

“Ice Cream and Dances Pt. 2: Electric Boogaloo” Ch. 2

…

HELLO I AM POSTING A FIC UPDATE!!!!!!!! :DD

(Also a disclaimer! This fic uses the phrase “more than friends” a lot, and I wrote the first chapter before I realized that phrase can imply that friendships are lesser than romantic relationships. I want to make it clear that I do not see romantic relationships as inherently more valuable than friendships. Friendship is equally as important!!!! In the context of Phineas and Isabella, starting a romantic relationship would literally be them becoming “more than friends” because they would then be romantic partners AND friends. So, when I use that phrase in this fic moving forward, this is the meaning I’m choosing to interpret it as!)

…

“Ice Cream and Dances” by FrsdGirl

AO3

Previous Chapter

…

Isabella did her best to focus on inhaling and exhaling as Phineas led her back onto the dance floor.

“THIS IS A FRIEND THING.”

Once they found an empty spot, Phineas let go of Isabella’s hand and turned to face her, eyes wide and face flushed and GOODNESS HE LOOKED CUTE—

“HYPOTHETICAL. PLATONIC.”

Somehow, Isabella’s hands found their way to Phineas’s shoulders, though she wasn’t consciously aware of it until she felt him gently place his hands on her waist and oh goodness, friend thing or not, Phineas still wanted to dance with her and be close to her even though they’d already danced earlier aND—

“NO. STOP IT. KEEP IT TOGETHER, GARCIA-SHAPIRO.”

For about half a minute, they swayed platonically (or, well, somewhat platonically), neither saying a word.

Isabella just kept on focusing on breathing, on making sure she didn’t lean too close to Phineas, on keeping the desire to admit she’d actually love to be here with him on a real date at bay.

(She couldn’t have known Phineas was focusing on very similar things.)

Sure, she’d been nervous when they danced like this earlier. But those nerves were nothing compared to the nerves she was experiencing now because NOW, she had much more to worry about.

This was still strictly a friend thing, but it was also now a hypothetical more-than-friends-who-were-on-a-date thing. Except it WASN’T actually hypothetical in Isabella’s case, and she couldn’t help but hope that it might be more than hypothetical for Phineas as well but NO, she couldn’t give in to that hope, that was dangerous, so she needed to maintain a good balance between honesty and nonchalance about all this but that was difficult to do when he was so close and holding her and good grief , why’d she ever taken Buford up on his dare, and—

“Isabella? Are you okay?”

Isabella started and blinked, clearing her head of myriad worries with a shake to find Phineas staring at her with concern in his eyes.

“You kinda spaced out there for a second…” he continued. “And you looked a little worried. Is something wrong? Would you rather do something else?”

“NO!!!!!” Isabella shot back. A few nearby couples darted their heads in their direction, and she winced (the LAST thing she wanted to do was draw more attention to her and Phineas after their “grand entrance”).

“I...I just mean… I’m fine. Really.” She did her best to muster a smile for Phineas’s sake. “Just got lost in thought for a bit, you know?”

Phineas grinned, seemingly relieved to know that she was okay (though that could’ve just been Isabella reading into things). “Been there, done that!” he said.

Isabella chuckled a little, the image of Phineas hunched over his phone flickering in her memory. “I bet! You looked pretty lost in thought while Buford and I were dancing earlier. Who were you texting? Or were you testing out a new app?”

She felt a little more at ease now that she was talking with Phineas (as opposed to drowning in her own thoughts.)

“Huh??” Phineas blinked and bit his lip, shoulders briefly tensing up beneath Isabella’s hands. “...UH, I was just...texting Candace!”

“Really? It must have been an intense conversation, you looked so focused. Did she ask you for advice on a case assignment or something?”

“Oh, no, it wasn’t that… I just….uh” Phineas stared at her for a second and then up at the sky before continuing, “...I talk with her a lot these days. She’s got good advice.”

Isabella smiled and nodded in agreement in response.

(Perhaps she was a little curious to know what exactly Phineas had been discussing with Candace. But she knew he’d tell her if he wanted to, and she didn’t want to press him in case he didn’t.)

In the meantime, she could change the subject.

“So...have you been brainstorming any new projects lately?” she asked. “Other than the Stargazer 3000 of course, though if you want to talk about that I’m all ears!”

Phineas’s eyes practically ignited with excitement, making something flutter and glow in Isabella’s chest.

“Yeah!!!” he exclaimed. “Yesterday Ferb and I started experimenting with levitating carpets, like we did when we were kids! We want to see if we can replicate the effects over a smaller surface. But the technology isn’t quite ready yet…..”

…

“And THAT’S how we plan to modify our pre-existing anti-gravity quantum state lift disk technology to function effectively over a smaller surface area!! We’re planning on finishing up a prototype tomorrow and using it for a project.”

“Cool!! Can I come over and help out?”

“Of course! You never have to ask to come over, Isabella. I’ll—er, we’ll always be glad to have you around.”

“Thanks!”

Sometimes, it was easy to take living across the street from Phineas for granted. Because of that, Isabella was used to his boundless creativity and ideas, used to his uncanny ability to make the impossible possible...but she never wanted to lose sight of how extraordinary just being able to be used to those things was.

Moments like this reminded her that Phineas was brilliant .

And handsome.

….brilliantly handsome.

She cracked a smile at that last thought.

Phineas, fortunately, didn’t ask why she was smiling. He just smiled back...and then tilted his head, his expression morphing from fond to thoughtful.

“.....I just realized something,” he said. “We danced earlier.”

Isabella nodded, unsure where he was going with this.

“I guess, I just realized…. This—you know, us , dancing together—it doesn’t feel much different from how it felt before, when we were dancing but like...strictly as friends. ….uH! Not that we aren’t dancing strictly as friends right now! But...the hypothetical more-than-friends thing you were wondering about...you’d think it would make things feel more different….but if it’s us, it doesn’t. Not really.”

A blush sprawled across Isabella’s face. She’d been so wrapped up in listening to Phineas’s ideas, she’d almost forgotten about the hypothetical more-than-friends thing.

But Phineas apparently hadn’t forgotten.

“Uh—is that still a thing we’re doing?” he asked. “Pretending this is, like…a date? Or thinking about what it would be like if it were? Because I thought we were, but maybe I misunderstood, and if so that’s my bad—”

“No, you didn’t misunderstand!!!” Isabella replied quickly. “And, we can keep pretending this is a date. If you want.”

Phineas exhaled with a smile. “Cool!”

“Yup! Cool!” Isabella agreed.

Whew.

“And, you’re right,” she continued. “It doesn’t feel much different from how it did before...but it feels right. Talking with you feels better than just dancing in silence and staring at each other. I guess other couples might do that, but not us.”

“Yeah!!” Phineas let out a gentle chuckle. “I guess this means, if we were a couple, we wouldn’t act much differently from how we do now.”

“That’s what happens when you fall for your best friend, huh?” Isabella gave Phineas a knowing grin (she was basically a world-renowned expert on this subject). “Since there’s already a great foundation of friendship in place, romantic feelings can just develop naturally from what’s already there.”

….wait a second.

“….uH!!!” she choked, jerking back and clutching her hands to her chest on instinct. “Not that I’d know that personally!! Just, uh! In movies and stuff! That’s how it always goes. Yup. And we’re best friends, so! In this hypothetical scenario, we’d be best friends who fell for each other. Hypothetically.”

“Okaaayyyy time to divert the subject, Garcia-Shapiro.”

“People in movies have it easy….” she continued, trying her best to sound light and casual. “They meet and then, less than two hours later, BOOM! They’re together, true love for life!! Or...at least, they’re together until a sequel comes out and they’ve broken up offscreen just to get back together again….”

(The older Isabella got, the less patience she had for subpar romance movies and subplots.)

“Yeah….it’s a lot harder in real life...” Phineas agreed quietly. “Though, we’d be remiss if we didn’t talk about how it is hard for couples in TV shows. Like, Candace used to watch this show where the two main characters were in love but they didn’t realize it, and they kept on ALMOST confessing or getting together but didn’t actually get together until the very end. She’d get so frustrated with them, called them the ‘token will they/won’t they couple.’ There were a few steady side-couples though, Candace always used to say they made watching the show a little easier.”

He leaned in, a conspiratorial twinkle in his eye, and whispered, “She always used to compare herself and Jeremy to the main couple, but between you and me, the two of them are definitely more the ‘steady side-couple’ type.”

Isabella snickered. “ Oh yeah. They had it easy! They liked each other from the beginning, went on dates, started officially dating and then just...stayed that way.”

“If only it were always that simple….” Phineas sighed.

“If Candace and Jeremy are a steady side couple, what would that make us?” Isabella asked.

She flinched and quickly added, “uH!!! In a hypothetical sense!!!!”

Phineas blinked. “UM!!! That’s a great question!!!”

...was he blushing? Or was it a trick of the light?

“I guess, uh��.we’d be the token ‘will they/won’t they’ couple?”

he rubbed the back of his neck and chucked slightly. “I mean, uh...in your hypothetical scenario, I’m not sure if we’d already be together or if this would be our first time doing something together. Together -together, I mean. On a date, you know. But, uh…….. Okay, let’s say I had feelings for you. Hypothetically. I’d have no reason to believe you returned those feelings.”

Isabella bit her lip and resisted the urge to roll her eyes into the nearest adjacent galaxy.

That was Phineas, alright. Oblivious as always.

“...BUT!!” he continued, “if you returned them without knowing about MY feelings, that would be a classic ‘will they/won’t they’ scenario. At least, according to Candace, anyway….yup….”

He suddenly seemed quite interested in staring at the grass beneath their feet.

Isabella followed his gaze and studied the ground for a bit, both to avoid pondering their hypothetical couple status any longer AND because, if Phineas was staring at the grass, it likely meant something interesting was happening down there.

...except nothing interesting was happening.

“.....okay, there’s no way the grass is interesting enough to warrant us staring at it for this long,” she mused. “You didn’t get hit with a dull and boring ray, did you?”

(She was mostly joking, but one could never be too careful in Danville.)

Phineas glanced back up at her and just stared at a moment before cracking a smile.

“Funny you should mention that….i was JUST thinking about the color beige….”

A moment passed.

And then he started to giggle. Quietly at first…and then not so quietly. His amusement was contagious, and soon Isabella was caught up in it too, the two of them grinning and laughing and as carefree as could be, all the awkwardness momentarily gone.

(The ruckus garnered some more stares, as the music playing was still pretty soft….but Isabella didn’t really care about that anymore. Having fun with Phineas was way more important than worrying about what others thought.)

Gradually, their laughter died down, with Phineas giving one final giggle and wiping a tear from his cheek before placing his hand back on Isabella’s waist, eyes shining with mirth.

Isabella gazed at him with a beaming smile.

There was just something about Phineas’s laughter, something about the way he smiled so brightly and expressed such genuine positivity so effortlessly, that had fascinated her and made her head spin since they were kids....and right now, it was hard to feel scared of expressing her true feelings for him.

(In other words, she was sooo in love with him right now.)

“You know….” she whispered with a flirtatious grin, “...if WE were dating—uh, on a date, within the parameters of the hypothetical more-than-friends thing!!!”

Good save, Garcia-Shapiro.

“...I’d have told you how handsome you look by now.”

“Huh?” Phineas blinked and glanced down at his outfit. “...Oh! Thanks! ...but, I’m not really dressed for a date….I wear this shirt at least once a week, and I haven't brushed my hair since this morning.”

“Aw, Phineas, you ALWAYS look handsome,” Isabella assured him. “No matter what. I mean, between the red hair and all your freckles and your acute nose and your SMILE, I’m not sure how anyone could NOT see how handsome you are…. And it’s not just your looks either, it’s your laugh and the way you can light up anyone and anything around you just by being you, it all makes you handsome, and……”

A bit of the happy fog in Isabella’s brain evaporated, allowing her to realize she’d been rambling to Phineas about how handsome he was for the past 20 seconds.

Oops.

“uH!!!! That is! That’s what I would say if this wasn’t a friend thing! But it is! So! Uh. You can just forget I said all that, if you want….”

She winced and clenched her eyes shut. That had been too much, she’d totally taken things too far, and now Phineas would probably be super weirded out...

Except.

One glance at Phineas revealed he wasn’t weirded out at all. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes soft, mouth slightly agape with what might have been astonishment.

He looked flustered, but in a good way.

And then...he smiled again. He smiled at her.

And it was a warm smile, a gentle smile, perhaps the most adoration-filled smile Isabella had ever seen and it was directed at her and doing funny things to her heart.

“Well….” he whispered softly, “...if this weren’t a friend thing, I’d have already told you you look as beautiful as ever…. But, since this is a friend thing and I haven’t told you yet….I’ll just tell you now. Isabella, you look as beautiful as ever.”

He grinned before continuing on in a manner similar to how Isabella had spoken a bit ago.

“I mean, between your eyes, and your hair, and the way your entire face seems to light up when you smile, and your adorable laughter, and the way you’re brave enough to say whatever’s on your mind…..I don’t think anyone else is as beautiful as you, Isabella. In every sense of the word.”

Isabella’s heart was going to pound right out of her chest. Or perhaps her knees would give out and she’d collapse right here, sprawled across the grass, running Phineas’s words and tender looks over and over again in her head for the foreseeable future.

It wouldn’t be a bad way to spend the rest of the evening.

But Phineas wasn’t done yet. He drew a hand back and then reached out for Isabella’s face...only to flinch and freeze in place.

“...uH!!” he breathed, hand still suspended in mid-air. “....if this were a date, I think I’d unconsciously reach out to brush a lock of hair behind your ear after saying all those things, just to see you better! ...would you be alright with that?”

Isabella didn’t trust herself to piece a coherent sentence together at the moment, but she knew she’d definitely be alright with that, so she nodded her head.

Phineas inhaled and tentatively reached out until his fingers were gracing Isabella’s cheek and then ever-so-gently brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

And once again, Isabella did her best to focus on inhaling and exhaling, on staying present in the moment…but this time, she wasn’t constantly reminding herself this was just pretend.

Because….what if it wasn’t?

Phineas was one of the most authentic people Isabella knew. Authentic to a fault, almost.

And that trademark authenticity, which she’d come to recognize in all of his inventions and actions and words in the years they’d been friends…..she recognized it now. In the hand cradling her face and the eyes gazing at her softly and the tender smile that hovered a mere foot or two from her own.

…perhaps Phineas had tried to ask her here on a date earlier.

Perhaps Buford had been right.

…

Thanks for reading!! And thanks as always to the lovely FrsdGirl for inspiring this fic and allowing me to write it and also for being just, the best ever, I adore you my friend🥺💕.

This isn’t the end btw, I know how this is gonna end, just haven’t written it properly yet!

#surprise it is a late night fic!#phineas and ferb #cadence writes #pnf fic #phinabella #phinbella #isabella garcia shapiro #phineas flynn

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asexual-society · 3 years

Text

Asexuality and Me (It's Kind of a Long Story) by @darcyshire

I had my first boyfriend when I was in my early teens. He was a good friend, we got along very well, and he remains to this day very special to my heart. We were together for just a few months — not so uncommon for a junior high relationship — and I broke up with him because I was pretty sure he was going to try to kiss me. Not anything more than that, nothing “too far” for a pair of 13-year-olds, but that was too much for me. I apologized profusely, and he was upset because he didn’t understand what the issue was — because I couldn’t tell him. It sounded so dumb.

I had a few more boyfriends in the next couple years, and every time it was the same: if I felt that things were moving past holding hands or hugs, I ended the relationship. I was a serial dumper, never the “dumpee”.

When I made it to high school, I had a group of friends, some of whom identified as lesbians. I was intrigued by the comfort they had in their relationships with other girls, so I wondered, “Am I maybe gay, and that’s why I keep breaking up with boys?” I thought about it and realized that no, I did often find myself having crushes on boys I knew well and enjoyed the company of. I also had those feelings for a few girls I knew well. I toyed with “bisexual” as a label, and used that privately, in my own head only, until I came across the term “pansexual” online, which I felt was a perfect description of the feelings I was having (minus the sex part). Gender didn’t matter when it came to crushes; I liked who I liked, and that was that.

When I had my first “real” boyfriend, I was 15. He asked before he kissed me the first time, and it turned out that I didn’t hate it. I did hate when he brought up sex. At the time, I was involved in my church, and I was opposed to sex outside of marriage, so the idea of going against that was upsetting. I wanted him to stay with me, so I went along with some of what he wanted — and it made me feel disgusting. Same thing with my next boyfriend; I dreaded anything to do with sex. I thought about whether it might feel different if I was with a girl instead, but with my involvement in a fairly conservative church community, I felt it wasn’t safe to try.

When I met my now-husband, I felt none of the pressures I had felt before. He quickly became my best friend, and we got along incredibly well. He and I had similar values when it came to saving sex for marriage, so I didn’t have to worry about that aspect of our relationship. We dated for 4 years before we got married, and I was absolutely, 100% sure that marrying him was what I wanted, and what would make me happy. Our pre-marital counsellor had asked if waiting for sex had been difficult; my husband said yes, and I said absolutely not. I truly spent no time thinking about it. As our wedding date approached, however, I started to get very anxious. So much so that my own therapist suggested not “doing the deed” on our wedding night, to take the pressure off and make the experience less nerve-wracking. (I ignored her recommendation, and everything went mostly fine.)

For the first few weeks of our marriage, I was pretty indifferent about sex. I wasn’t interested in it, but my husband was, so I participated at his request. It wasn’t exciting or enjoyable for me, but it wasn’t something I was terrified of until a few months later, when I started having feelings of deep distress afterwards. I would wait for him to fall asleep, and would go out into our living room and cry; sometimes I had thoughts about self-harm or suicide. I became deeply depressed (more than I had ever been before, as depression has been a part of my life for many years), and my husband noticed that I was never initiating intimate experiences. We were married in August 2019, and the last time we had sex was February 2020, because I just couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t stop asking myself what was wrong with me. What was broken? Was it because of my previous relationships? Was my depression making me frigid? (Of course, I never considered the fact that sex had been of no interest to ever, even when everyone around me was thinking about it constantly).

[This is a long story, so my apologies that it’s a bit rambling. Now to the good stuff!]

I was scrolling Tumblr in the early months of 2020, and I came across the term “asexual”. I’d not really heard much about it before, but from the short description, it seemed like it fit my experience. I did some online searches, and came across a document from AsexualityArchive.com called “Asexuality: A Brief Introduction.” I read the whole thing in an afternoon and found myself literally crying, because I felt so relieved. I learned that day that there was nothing wrong with me, that there were other people who also had no interest in sex — some were even repulsed by the very idea of taking part in sexual experiences, like I was. I told my husband, fearing he would leave me, and he was incredibly loving, gracious, and accepting. He loves me for my personality, not for what I can offer him sexually.

I started using the label “asexual”, (‘ace’ for short), and felt really comfortable in that. When I learned about the split-attraction model that many aspec folx use, I changed my labels to “panromantic/asexual” (pan-ace), because that fit even better. When I began to question my own experience of gender and sexuality, and got involved with the rainbow community, I decided that “queer ace” was the best fit of all, and that’s where I’m at today. I’ve come out to my family as queer, and was unfortunately outed to my husband’s (conservative Christian) family before I was ready, but after the fact, I am glad the people closest to me know that being queer is am important part of my identity.

Only my husband, my mom, and a few close female friends know about my asexuality (outside of the online queer communities I’m a member of), because I’m tired of hearing people say things like, “maybe it’s just your depression”, or “you should see your doctor about that”. Plus, it’s mine and my husband’s private business how we conduct our sex life, not anyone else’s. I didn’t know there was a word for people like me until early 2020, but I’ve been ace my whole life; looking back on things now, I can find many indicators of asexuality starting from before I was even a teen.

I’m now 24 years old and a proud member of the queer and aspec communities. I hope that my story might give hope to others who have been asking themselves why they have so little interest in sex. It’s not a defect — it’s just the way we were made. As a person of faith, this realization has meant the world to me.

#Submissions #submission #suicide mention /#self-harm mention /#darcyshire #pride month with asexual-society #pride month with a s #thank you for sharing -- and I'm so glad your husband has been supportive of you #I hope you have a good pride month and future past that

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uardito · 3 years

Text

In defense of taking and sending nudes

Big budget pornographers and pretty much all advertisers have oddly similar and narrow views on sexy.

These kinds of muscles in these places. These skin colors. These eye colors. Unless we’re doing one of the exotic angles: Can you do the bear? The I-swear-this-isn’t-pederasty twink? (No judgments.) The submissive Asian? The aggressive Black top? Can you do Latin heat, papi?

And honestly, I never could.

As a kid, this would really bother me. I’d beat off to Corbin Fischer-type crap that left me feeling sexually inert, incapable of creating a sexual response in someone. I’m too dark for mainstream stroke material, not Latin enough for the fetishists. Plus, I was never in as good of shape as them. While acne and life’s other peculiarities left their marks on my skin, they somehow never touched theirs; how could I possibly think I was sexy?

I wondered how to find other young gay guys and Corbin Fischer filled the boy I was with such fears of isolation. If that’s who I was looking for, I knew they were nowhere to be found, nowhere within my experience anyway.

If you think about it, that’s a weird place to be in: desexualized, filled with sexual desire and nowhere to put it. I wonder what the fallout from that might be?

The Fall of the Power of Porn

Today, pornographers are going out of business “No one wants to pay for porn anymore.” Honestly, for me, money has less to do with it; I’m just not beating off to their videos. I don’t think they’re hot. I’m not feeling their models. I’m not feeling their videos’ shallow, surreal sexual hookups. It fetishizes sex that’s impossible to have with people who barely exist.

More shallow than Grindr? Yes. Much. Next to porn, even next to the normalizing and desexualizing mainstream gay political discourse, online dating or cruising in general is a thought-provoking and radical reclamation of sexual power.

It starts with writing our profiles. It starts with taking sexualized pictures of ourselves. It becomes dangerous and radical when we send those pictures.

They often play a role in how we negotiate sex with each other. And suddenly we’re not looking to unreal and exaggerated bodies of porn–we’re sexualizing the people we’re actively trying to have sex with as opposed to trying to push our sexual partners and sex to look more like porn.

Randall Munroe, https://xkcd.com/598/

Outside that, it empowers us to see ourselves sexually and have that reaffirmed by other people’s sexual attraction, even if we have no intention or even ability to touch those enjoying our digital depiction. Don’t think for a moment that I’m above this. People have either seen me naked or masturbated with me, people as close as down the street to some on the other side of the world. The latter case was particularly important when I was living in a part of the country where I wasn’t seen as that attractive. I could hop online and be reminded that I had sexual power, though I felt mostly powerless at my digs in Georgia at the time.

Cock blocked by sexual panic

Of course, abandoning the sexual institutions of old doesn’t mean that they’ve abandoned us. Respectability, fear, modesty, shame: they’re all hallmarks of this discussion.

Watch, by way of an example, RJ Aguiar’s Dick Pic Etiquette which in the course of only seven minutes manages an advertisement for a new dating platform AND provides a tour of heteronormative sexual pathology and anxiety. (I pick on RJ here only because I’m a big fan of his work, but what he says there echoes idiotic stuff said on national and international television by every other reputable person in news.) He alternates between classist tropes — like the idea that our sexual propositions not be exclusively sexual but also include some bourgeois notion of artistic value — to cataloging every way sexualizing ourselves could lead to disaster, including legal peril and the fear of exposure should any of our pictures stay on any networkable devices…

Me impersonating RJ safeguarding his erotic self-portraiture in one of the only non-networkable devices in my apartment.

Listening to him and other pundits go off, I’m reminded of the history of hysteria regarding sex that’s haunted us for centuries: The sometimes comical, sometimes downright horrifying efforts to prevent children from masturbating in the 18th and 19th century (Buzzfeed article, MentalFloss article); various sexuality-inspired hysterias in the 20th century like the McMartin trial (about sex abuse in education at the end of the 20th century); and the modern day paranoia about transfolk who need to pee.

Not to say that the anxieties of RJ and his hysterical kin are entirely unfounded, but it’s so easy for him and other people doing the committed monogamy thing to be terrified by the lives of people who are doing things differently. They have no skin in the game. They don’t have to cruise for sex or love when they’re horny or lonely. This fear mongering justifies decisions that they’ve already made and distances themselves from parts of their lives they’re eager to forget. Their hysteria encourages heteronormativity, encourages traditional values, encourages pursuing relationships just like your probably-miserable straight parents did and protects boring porn and a hateful ad industry.

Rejecting this sexual morality and hysteria is not always easy. That rejection threatens pillars of American society (probably only nominally). But by rejecting that we gain power over our sexual fantasies and capacities.

If you’re capable of sexual fantasy, you’re capable of sex. If you’re capable of sex, you’re capable of being sexy, of being seen sexually by yourself and others.

If you’re this far and have a camera phone, you’re a few short clicks away from me and a bunch of other deviants masturbating to you.

Relish that power.

And with it, find sex and love on your own damn terms.

-Santi

Santi fell in love for the first time as a child in Georgia and for the second time as a young man in Brooklyn. Today, he lives in Miami where he’s convinced that derechistas are ready to run him out of town. Santi continues his love of photography, both in the area of auto-erotic portraiture and otherwise, on Twitter and Instagram at @uardito.

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resident-leevil-old · 3 years

Note

can we hear about your au with the biokids pls it sounds so interesting

[CLASPS HANDS TOGETHER]

BUCKLE UP. We're teaching you all about the Team!

Okay! So, obvious starter up, we have Rosemary Winters (she/her)! Known child of Ethan and Mia Winters, living molded, Eveline Incarnate, however you may call her! As we heard from the ending of RE8, she's "a lot like [Ethan]." I have decided to take that literally, and say that she has personality traits inherited directly from her father due to the mold.

This includes his habits of picking up random shit and keeping it in his pockets, as well as his overwhelming curiosity and determination. Rose has trouble making friends due to both: growing up in a facility and having literally zero social skills of her own. That being said, she's managed to make friends with some of the other people inside the facility.

And with that, we have our next runner-up, Mariah Alomier (she/they)! While doing a survivor check in the village back in Romania, they found a baby that had miraculously still been alive being held by her deceased mother (who had been holding a gun in her other hand). After being brought back to the facility the baby was tested and found out to have been infected by a lycan, presumedly the mother they'd found her with, yet still showed the behavior of a normal baby. Don't ask me how this works, it's resident evil, shit goes on.

ANYWAYS! Mariah and Rose became friends fairly early, around the time they were both eight and seven respectively. They are nearly inseparable, for many reasons, but the main one is simply just... the fact they vibe with each other. Mariah is sweet though sometimes has a hard time figuring out when and when not to joke around. Despite being a literal lycan, she's not very brutish unless they need to be, but IS extremely protective of her friends, deeming them her "pack," sticking to true werewolf nature (they claim it's for aesthetic).

Another member of The Team, Ikarai Minervara - Nicknamed Kari by Rose- (he/him). Kari is selectively mute, and doesn't speak much about... literally anything. He is usually seen with a pair of black shades, and very much hates to take them off at any point in time. A literal enigma, as he showed up to the BSAA facility one day with a notebook with only one thing written in it: "I am Guilty."

Kari openly enjoys Rose's presence, seeing as he allowed her to give him the nickname Kari in the first place, for many reasons, though the main one he has written was simply, "You don't make me talk." He mostly communicates in sign language. His infection has caused him to breathe underwater and swim abnormally quickly, however it's unknown if he has a mutated form.

Nicholas Arosin -Nicknamed Nicky by the team- (He/Xem) is the Token Human of the team. He isn't infected, or anything of the sort, however he IS immune to several diseases and viruses that are known to be incurable. Xey're rather lighthearted, but know how to be serious when it's time. Nicky was assigned to the team as an experiment to see how a group of bioweapons would react to working with humans on the field.

Nicky is older than the others, and acts similar to that of an older brother towards them, even if they showed hostility towards him at first. He's extremely protective of them, and was absolutely willing to become a fugitive on the run if it meant he could have the kids be safe.

Hunter (He/Ze/Xem). Referred to as Hunter by the others, as he won't tell anyone zis first name. It's unclear if he has one. Xey are, for lack of better words, extremely blunt with zis opinions, coming off as rude and arrogant due to xeir brutal honesty and out-there confidence.

He heals extremely fast, though still feels the pain of his injuries after he healed, a supposed fluke in his infection. He was born with just a few less bones than he was supposed to have in his arms and legs, though his infection allows him to move them because it's constantly providing it's own bone cells in order to replace (heal) the missing ones. Basically his infection made him Grow Bones and shit.

And next, Frances B. Rosalva (they/them), (created by my beloved @we-hunger-for-bones)! Frances is a relative of lady Beneviento, her nibling, and had been gifted a doll from her. Long following the destruction of the village, Frances begins to wonder what exactly happened to it, as well as their aunt who was revealed to be deadt. After finding out the doll they were gifted had something inside of it, Frances contacts BSAA as they are known for being The Guys You Go To for this sort of thing. However, with some severe observation skills, and critical thinking, Frances begins to realize far too late that BSAA themselves had something to do with the destruction of their childhood village and the disappearance of the lords. During a skirmish against BSAA agents attempting to forcibly take their gifted doll after they speak about their suspicions, the doll is broken, and the remaining Cadou inside of it infects Frances, leading to them having no choice but to work with BSAA for the time being.

Frances is said to be a bit Angry, due to grieving for their deceased aunt as well as the distrust of BSAA after finding out they had been involved with whatever had happened and becoming infected by the Cadou. They were described as a Literal Tsundere, and are the actual embodiment of “YOU DUMBASS (affectionate)." They tease the other members of the team, and while they may not say it outright, they do care for them and aren't opposed to working with them (however working with them will not stop them from complaining about it).

They don't know about Ethan.

#resident evil village #resident evil 8 #re8 #re8 village #rosemary winters #mariah alomier #Ikarai Minervara #Nicholas Arosin #x hunter #team biokidz au #resident evil au #ethan winters #donna beneviento #resident evil virus #lycan #resident evil #anon ask #frances rosalva

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like-rain-or-confetti · 4 years

Text

Request: Little Moments (Volturi leaders x Reader)

"My dear?" Marcus' voice was soft as he lifted your chin, forcing you to be captivated by his red eyes. "I may not have Aro's gift to see into your mind but that doesn't mean I’m blind. I can see you're thinking about something. It's distracting you from me. What is it, my love?" "Can I ask you something?" You asked."You can ask me anything you can think of, my love." Marcus pulled you into him, arms wrapping around you. "Does being near me hurt you?" You asked quietly, you hands resting on his arms. "I was told that needing to feed was a burning feeling in your throat that needed to be sated. So doesn't it hurt to be around me?"

A ghost of a smile was on Marcus' face, his gaze softening more than you thought to be possible. "My sweet darling, the longer we've existed meant the more control we have." Marcus leaned his forehead against yours. "When you're faced by food, do you lose control and have to eat it?" You shook your head. "It's very similar. We can smell your blood, your scent and we choose not to feed on you. Think of it like the times your stomach rumbles when your hungry. It takes years of control and practice to become as good at is as we are but we'd go through the worst form of torture just to spend a minute with you. It would hurt us more if you weren't here." Marcus kissed your forehead. "Your gift tells you that?" You asked in awe. "Your bond to us is cherished and I can see how strong it is to each of us. I can see how much we mean to you as well. There is no secrecy, any changes you feel- I know about." Marcus pulled you into his chest, his chin resting on top of your head as you both slight swayed. "I know there is something else you want ask or tell me. You know you can." You exhaled. "I just don't quite understand why it's me?" You asked meekly. "What do you mean darling?" "I mean, take Heidi for example, she's beautiful and just like everyone else in this castle, she's perfect at all times. All vampires are. Not to mention I can't do even half the things vampires can. So I don't understand why you'd want me when you have many more options that would be more... convenient." You said. Marcus chuckled lightly. "I could strongly disagree with that but instead I'll tell you this. No vampire or any other human on this planet is like you and no one could try. You might not be as strong or fast as us in this moment but you are just as important. If not arguably more considering our bond as well as it being much easier to lose you." Marcus cradled your face in his hands. "Not to worry, we're making preparations and will be fixing that very soon." You wrapped him into a hug. "We best be leaving, dear. Caius is awaiting your arrival in the throne room."

As Marcus had said, Caius and Aro were in the throne room. "Ah our dear, (Y/N)." Aro moved quickly to take your hand into his own, scanning your thoughts as he always did. He cracked a smile smile. "You are precious, my dear." He said, clearly responding to your conversation with Marcus.

In sync, Marcus and Aro moved to their thrones whilst Caius walked towards you. Whilst there wasn't a smile on his face, he wasn't scowling, his eyes soft towards you and you alone. "Come with me." Caius put a hand to your back guiding you out the door. "Where are we going?" "Well, you wanted to see more of tour world and that got me thinking that perhaps you'd like to see the guard at work." Caius slightly smirked at your confused expression.

Caius slid his hand into your own as he lead you down some stone steps. "I always forget how much of this castle is underground." You said mostly to yourself. "Although I don't think I've been down here before." "You haven't, Cara Mia." Caius responded. "We hadn't allowed it in the case you got hurt but seeing that I will be with you. I don't think it'll do any harm." As you turned another corner Caius' grip tightened slightly. "Stay close to me at all times, never leave my side and only let go of me if I let go of you." You nodded.

Caius wasted no time pulling you into his side as the doors opened and your eyes widened. There was only an assortment of grey and black blurs moving faster than you could keep up with and some swirling into others. It took you minute to realise that these blurs were people, more specifically the Volturi guards moving faster than the human eyes could pick up.

Your suspicions were confirmed when Santiago halted a few feet away, looking in the other direction before taking off into a blur again, another grey blur chasing after him. "Is this...all of them?" You were certain there had to be fifty people in this very large room "These are the permanent and higher ranking guards." Caius explained. "Many of these guards reside here in the castle."

Your gaze caught a hold of Afton, a quiet blonde haired man who was always very polite with you. He moved with ease and speed you couldn't process. He stopped smirking before he was gone in the blink of an eye. You looked in the direction he had before your eyes landed on Chelsea, a red headed girl who seemed almost pleased when she was grabbed by an invisible force that tried to pin her. Surprisingly, she seemed to gain the upper hand and Afton was suddenly in front of her, holding her in place. The two grinned at each other, both of them keeping a solid grip on one another.

A swirling black mist caught your attention, weaving itself in spaces between people. It took you a moment but eventually found Alec on the far side of the room, seemingly practicing his control over the mist rather than trying to actually get anyone. Seemingly confirming your thought, Jane was moving at random, even swaying and twirling at times as her brother weaved his mist around Jane but making sure it never actually touched her or anyone else for that matter. "This is amazing." You breathed. Caius looked down at you with a ghost of a smile on his face. He traced a light pattern onto your hand. "It'll be a completely new experience when you're changed. Come, we must leave them be. They've settled since you're in here. They have to be careful." "I wouldn't have thought they noticed I was here." Caius chuckled. "Oh they know dear. Come." You smiled brightly squeezing Caius' hand. "Thank you for bringing me down here. That was amazing." "You are more than welcome, my love." Caius said smoothly, kissing your knuckles.

You found Aro in his private study, the door was open and you couldn’t help but smile from the doorway. "Ahhh, my dear sweet (Y/N). I trust you've enjoyed seeing our guards train?" "It was amazing. I can't- I still can't believe what I saw." Aro hummed in amusement. "Although, I haven't heard or seen much of you today. That's quite strange." You teased slightly and Aro looked up at you with an amused smile. "I thought you'd enjoy the peace cara mia." You hummed. "You can be peaceful when you want to be, Aro." "Yes...that's true." Aro agreed after taking a moment, seemingly thinking about the statement. Aro closed his book, sitting it on the table. "Come sit with me, cara mia."

You wasted no time but instead surprised him when you kicked your legs over his and pulled him to lean against you. "I could have sworn you knew how to sit on a chair." Aro teased slightly. "Why do that if I can do this? If you were opposed, you'd have stopped me." You retorted and he chuckled in response. "I never said I was opposed." Aro smirked before caressing your face with the lightest of touches.

Your communication with Aro was the most unique of all. Skin contact never bothered him, even if he had been bombarded with someone's life story, just by a quick brush of their fingertips. He actually seemed to enjoy it, knowing every common to the most private thing about a person. With you it was completely different, he had seen your thoughts many many times always lingered with you. He always had since he noticed that the two of you could communicate like a conversation and you didn't have to say a word. You thought perhaps it was because it was more special to him. Only he could know what you were thinking in that time, no one else. They were for him and for him alone.

It didn't take long for Aro to ease even closer to you, closing the gap between you both. His forehead tested again yours and for good measure his fingers snaked up your sleeve to lightly touch your wrist. You couldn’t help but look into his eyes and fall in love with him all over again.

You never thought that bonds as strong as yours with Aro’s could have ever existed with someone over a thousand years old. The immediate thought was that you’d have nothing in common and that would be the barrier. However that wasn’t correct. Aro was intimidating when you first met but whilst he was eccentric- that was a part of his charm.

There was so much more to Aro that others didn’t get to see and whilst you felt pity for that, you couldn’t help but be relieved. He had given you his trust to show a side of him that no one could see. Aro made you feel safe and secure whilst he turned your world upside down. He saw beauty in almost everything, a burning curiosity and determination that was contagious.

You’re thoughts were halted when Aro quickly pressed his lips to yours. That was when you remembered he knew what you had been thinking as soon as you thought it. You couldn’t help but smile slightly into the kiss. He wasn’t like other people. That you were certain of. You had no doubt that if anyone else had access to someone’s mind in the ways he did that they’d quickly become intolerable by breaching their privacy. Ironically enough, Aro didn’t even though he knew everything his didn’t use it against you or even act like he knew every tiny little detail of your life. He didn’t want to know from his gift- not with you. With you, he wanted to hear it from you.

Your mates were unique, peculiar and had outlived more than you could have possibly imagined. You were fascinated by them and funnily enough...they were as fascinated with you too.

#request #twilight #volturi #the volturi #aro volturi #caius volturi #marcus volturi #reader #one shot #oneshot

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tchallasbabymama · 3 years

Text

M’Baku’s Love-Chapter 1

Hey y’all, sooooo this is inspired by Sylvie’s Love. It was such a sweet movie that made me feel all the feels, so I felt the need to write a love story for our Thicc Kang. Seriously, go watch it on Prime if you can. Let me know what y’all think, and check out my masterlist if you haven’t already! I have a few one shots and a series for both our king and our prince.

This one’s on the shorter side, but enjoy!

Word count: 2992

When M’Baku integrated the Jabari into the rest of Wakandan society he had some concerns about there being some cultural friction. Having been separated for centuries, M’Baku assumed his people would have a hard time with adjusting to the new union, but as it turned out he didn't have to worry. Above all, he was worried about lowland Wakandans possibly subjecting his people to their prejudices, but it turned out that they have a pretty similar society to the Jabari and they meld really well. The different tribes of Wakanda all live in their separate provinces and have their own ways of living just like the Jabari, the only difference being that they interacted with the larger community that included the rest of Wakanda as well.

The chief’s misconceptions and prejudices about the other Wakandans were soon wiped out and replaced with a love of his country. The whole of it, as opposed to just his domain. He even began to enjoy his trips to the city, still finding the advancements unnecessary but amazing nonetheless. Over time, he grew curious of the outside world after befriending Prince N’Jadaka. The prince would regale him with horror stories of life on the outside, some were personal others were from around the diaspora.

However, M’Baku still couldn't understand the outside world, so King T’Challa decided it would be best if he get to experience it for a while. At first, he was against it. Why would he want to experience such a horrible place? After much effort, T’Challa was able to convince him to spend three months in Oakland at the Outreach Center. At first, M’Baku thought the time span was excessive. He was Chief of the Jabari and had important duties to attend to, after all, he couldn’t just go galavanting halfway across the world just because he couldn’t grasp the concept of white supremacy.

M’Baku made his way through the hallways of the royal palace and when he arrived at the large ornate door to the king’s office, the guards saluted him before parting and letting him pass. He raised his fist to knock when T’Challa spoke up from inside.

“Enter.”

M’Baku cautiously opened the door and looked at the king with confusion written all over his chiseled face.

“How did you-”

“The heart shaped herb gives me enhanced hearing among many other things. Come, sit down. How has the tour been so far?”

In addition to his time in the outside world, M’Baku had chosen to learn more about the tribes of Wakanda. He had spent one weekend a month with a different tribe to understand their way of life. He only just started but so far the river tribe was in the running for second favorite.

“It is going well, umhlobo wam. You all are not too different from Jabari, aside from the frivolous gadgets.”

T’Challa smiled at his stubborn friend’s unwillingness to accept their technology. Getting him to wear Kimoyo beads was harder than bathing a cat, but he eventually came around but only for communication purposes. Some Jabari, especially the younger ones took right to it, but most were still living their traditional lives.

“I noticed the same thing when I stayed with you...the second time, clearly.”

The two chuckled at the now fond memory of the king almost dying at the hands of his newly beloved cousin.

“Clearly. So have you decided on a departure date yet?”

“Yes, I will be leaving with you and staying for about a week to check on the centers myself and help you acclimate. Obviously N’Jadaka will be there as well but I figured you’d want someone with you that’s a little more…”

“Level headed?”

“N-, well, yes, but also no. He is doing well at the Center, but he is still...himself.”

The prince was a wildcard. One you want to have in your hand, but a wildcard nonetheless. M'Baku needed someone with a slightly longer fuse and a calmer disposition to show him around.

“Well I would not have it any other way, he is quite entertaining at times.”

A grin creeped up the king’s face as he thought of how his cousin’s progress had allowed for the parts of personality that aren’t rooted in anger to shine through.

“I agree. So, since I’ll be accompanying you we have to leave tomorrow.”

“I will alert my council.”

——————

The heat in California was marginally better than Wakanda, but still too high for M’Baku’s liking. He would have preferred to visit in the middle of their winter when the temperatures were milder, but anything over 60 degrees felt like a sauna to him. He also wasn’t used to having so much unprotected skin showing, but the weather called for his arms and legs to be free from fabric. His size and physique made him hyper visible and he noticed several of the volunteers doing double-takes as he and T’Challa walked through the halls of the Wakandan Outreach Center. He knew some of the attention was because the king didn’t visit often, but when he would catch eyes lingering on him he’d smirk and keep on moving.

T’Challa took him on a tour of the Center that ended with N’Jobu’s memorial in room 1401, which was preserved like a museum exhibit. The room stood as a reminder of Wakanda’s dark past, and a promise to never repeat it. M’Baku walked around the memorial, silently paying his respects to the murdered Wakandan prince and taking in the scene. The small plaques around the room gave visitors information about Prince N’Jobu, his family, his mission, and his death.

“Why did you go with these instead of virtual pages? Or whatever they are called...” M’Baku asked.

“Holograms. I felt it would take away from the feeling of heaviness this room invokes on you when you enter. This memorial needs to be both seen and felt for it to be effective.”

M’Baku nodded slowly, eyes still roaming around the room.

“Come, my friend,” T’Challa clapped him on the shoulder. “You will have plenty of time to come back here if you wish. For now, let me show you to your office.”

“Office?” The two walked down yet another hallway and headed up to the top floor.

“Yes, you didn’t think this was a vacation did you?” The king chuckled.

“Well, no but I assumed it would be more study than work.”

“It is both. You will be our Jabari Ambassador while you are here. I would like for you to come up with a skillshare program that will allow for the kids here in Oakland to learn your ways. One of the purposes of our Outreach Center is to bring about cultural understanding between us and our diaspora siblings, who we are now referring to as the Lost Tribe at the prince’s request. For now, we just have Oakland but eventually I plan to expand the program. Shuri is over the STEM program, Nakia handles social outreach, and N’Jadaka keeps the whole thing running smoothly, and you will make sure the Jabari are represented in our curriculum.”

“It would be my honor to bring Jabari ways to the Lost children.”

“I’m glad, now here is your office,” T’Challa pointed to a corner office with floor-to-ceiling windows and a view of the bay. “It is not a throne room, but it is quite nice.”

The king then took the time to show him the basic technology he would need to use and some of the more advanced technology at his disposal he knew he would probably never touch.

“You will have plenty of time to settle in tomorrow, for now I will show you your apartment,” T’Challa led the way back through the center and out to the car which took them about 10 minutes away to an apartment building.

“Our buildings are much more impressive,” M’Baku remarked.. It warmed T’Challa’s heart to hear his friend refer to Wakanda proudly instead of just his own corner of the country, and he let out a chuckle. Things really can change…

“I completely agree, my friend.”

The apartment turned out to be a loft that was the perfect size for the large Jabari Chief. The high ceilings, the open space, the floor to ceiling windows, the exposed brick...M’Baku actually liked it.

“Worthy of a chief?” T’Challa asked.

“That it is,” M’Baku said, walking around and taking in the space. The restaurant style kitchen was fully stocked with all his vegetarian favorites and some soon to be new favorites as well. He picked up a square package and stared at it in confusion, never having seen the meat-substitute before. “What is this to-fu?”

“It’s a very popular protein source made from soybeans.”

M’Baku nodded then moved to the living space, surprised to see a television, but the king explained he would need to stay up on current events, or maybe even watch a movie every now and then.

When T’Challa showed him the thermostat, he was so ecstatic he immediately put it on the lowest setting.

“I should leave before you freeze me out. If you need anything I’m just a kimoyo bead aw-,” T’Challa cut himself off when another, more important thought occurred to him. “Oh, I forgot to mention you’ll be getting an assistant. I sent three files to your beads, take a look and hire whichever one fits you best”

“Thank you, brother.” The two shook hands and saluted each other before the king left to give M’Baku his space.

The chief admired the Jabari wood furniture and the furs on the couch, plopping down to try to figure out how to work the television. After some time, he found a news station and only lasted about 5 minutes before he needed to turn it off. Instead, he accidentally switched to a thing called HBO Max and clicked on a show where the main character looked familiar somehow.

“In West Philadelphia, born and raised,” the theme song played over and over and over as M’Baku binged his first tv show, laughing the whole way.

A few hours passed and he was brought back from tv land by a rumble in his stomach. Not in the mood to cook, he decided to explore the neighborhood and look for food instead.

After just a few minutes M’Baku came to a stop in front of a place called Cafe V. He stopped to take a look at the menu in the window when he felt a small, or regular sized, person bump into his side. His eyes travelled down to see who would dare shove Lord M’Baku, Chief of the Jabari, when his eyes landed on a caramel-complected goddess with a bright teal fade. His face immediately softened as she stammered through an apology.

“I-I am so s-sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I got a text and, it doesn’t matter, are you ok?”

He struggled to find the words.

“Yes, are you? That was quite the impact.”

She was surprised by his kindness and gave him a smile.

“It was, wasn’t it?” The two shared a quick laugh. “I’m sorry, I’m running late to meet a friend...literally.”

“Well I would not want to keep you, but please be mindful of your surroundings. I am sure everyone is not as nice as I am.”

“That’s for sure. Oh, and by the way,” she leaned in as if to tell him a secret. He leaned in to listen to whatever she had to tell him. “There’s a Black-owned vegan restaurant around the corner there.”

M’Baku’s eyes lit up, “Two things I love.”

“Black people and vegan food?”

“Precisely,” a grin overtook his face and she couldn’t help but stare at his adorable gap.

“Well I really have to go, nice meeting you stranger!”

And with that, she was off before he could even get her name. The best he could do is hope she’d crash into him on the sidewalk again one day.

“I really hope she is more careful,” he said to himself as he rounded the corner to The V Spot.

——————

Monday morning, M’Baku arrived at the outreach center full of nervous energy. He had wanted to look nice for his first day, but his tunic felt like it was cutting off his circulation the closer he got to the building. When he finally arrived in his office, he found it full of royals.

“Nigga you look uncomfortable as hell in that,” N’Jadaka was, naturally, the first to call out the obvious. Thankfully, the Queen came to his rescue.

“Stop it Daka, you’d look uncomfortable in Jabari attire,” Nakia said as she undid his top button. “There. Better?”

“Much. I did not want to ruin the look.”

“Turning blue ruins the look, genius,” Princess Shuri chimed in.

“Sister, he wasn’t blue...yet. If we hadn’t gotten here when we did the Jabari would’ve been out a Chief,” the king added.

“Ha. You all are very funny. Are you done?”

“We’re just fucking with you, man. How you liking the loft?”

“It is wonderful. I am almost embarrassed to say I have watched the television for several hours. Have you ever seen the Fresh Prince of Bel Air? It is hilarious!”

“Aw hell yeah, that’s like thee funniest show hands down. You know what? While you’re here, I’m introducing you to alllllll the Black entertainment. You’re gonna love it, niggas stay laughing at something.”

“Speaking of, I thought… that word-“

“You can say nigga. You’re a nigga too, my nigga.”

T’Challa leaned over to M’Baku, “It is an adjustment, but the reclaiming of slurs can be a powerful thing for oppressed peoples. And it’s just so versatile.”

“What an interesting language…”

“Are we teaching an English class or are we meeting about curriculum…?” Shuri asked impatiently before her brother pinched her arm.

“Ouch! I’m telling mother.”

“Go ahead, I’ll tell her you’ve been sneaking out at night to hang with your little friends.”

Shuri shot her cousin a deadly glare, making him put his hands up in surrender.

“I didn’t say shit. He’s a walking lie-detector, I don’t know what to tell you.”

Nakia and M’Baku snickered at the situation they had no part in. Nakia, because she knew her husband had known for quite some time and would never snitch on his baby sister, but always had Dora following her at a safe distance. M’Baku enjoyed the moment because he and the Princess had a love-hate relationship and seeing her in “trouble” tickled him.

The moment passed and the five of them moved to a conference room to discuss the upcoming summer. Shuri advocated for a nanobots workshop on weekends and Nakia laid out her plans for summer programs. The king and prince listened closely and N’Jadaka gave his input here and there. T’Challa mostly nodded along, as this was more so his cousin’s job than his. He just signs the checks.

“...and Monaé just hired three new dance instructors because our classes are so popular with the community. She’ll discuss it in the Department Head meeting later-“

“Is that not what this is?” M’Baku asked, genuinely confused.

“If anything this is more of an executive meeting. We each oversee our departments, but have help running them. That’s who we will meet with in about 15 minutes.” Nakia responded, checking her beads for the time.

The executives finished their meeting just as other people started to roll in. Kitchen staff brought up some breakfast for everyone, and as soon as M’Baku stood to grab a bagel his knees nearly buckled. There she was, Miss In A Hurry herself. He tried to play it cool and keep his smile under wraps, but when she caught sight of the blinding whiteness from the other side of the room she recognized him immediately and waved.

“Friend of yours…?” T’Challa asked quietly with a raised brow. The man had only been here 24 hours…

“She ran into me on the street the other day and recommended an amazing restaurant. I should go say thank you…”

“Yes you should...why aren’t you?”

“I-“

“Mhm,” T’Challa said before turning to the rest of the attendees. “Everyone, please welcome Lord M’Baku, Chief of the Jabari. He will be here the next three months integrating Jabari culture into our curriculum. As many of you know, the Jabari-“

M’Baku tuned T’Challa out, staring instead at the girl with the teal fade. The look on her face when the king introduced him made him want to go hold her. It was painstakingly obvious that she was embarrassed to have almost run over royalty.

“-until we started the integration process a year ago. Now, Lord M’Baku you may have the floor.”

M’Baku cleared his throat and shook himself from his daydream.

“Uh, hello. I am sure it will be a pleasure to work here with you all. I would like to meet with each department head at some point this week to discuss how to make your programs more inclusive of Jabari customs. We can start scheduling those after we are finished here.”

The meeting went on for about an hour with M’Baku and the department heads furiously taking notes. M’Baku was pleasantly surprised that he wasn’t the only one using a physical notepad and pen. He looked to the stranger from earlier and noticed her bright notebook with a multicolored neon leopard cub in the middle. The name on the side read “Lisa Frank”, but he wasn’t sure if that was her name or the artist. She used several different colored pens to take her notes, and the red cat eye glasses he didn’t see on her face the other day kept slipping down her nose. She was a colorful one, that was for sure.

By the time the meeting ended he still hadn’t caught her name, but he knew she was head of the Arts department and that he would meet with her the next day. He could wait until then.

Next Chapter

#cecewritessometimes #black panther fic #sylvie's love #m'baku #m'baku x oc #black!oc #thicc king

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felassan · 3 years

Text

Highlights and insights from the N7 Day cast & crew reunion panel

[Rewatch link]

In case a text format is better for anyone. There are some NSFW references. Cut for length.

(Some paraphrasing.)

“Some of us are inebriated”

“Patrick Weekes, the killer of man and beasts, the breaker of hearts”

JHale put the whole thing together, it’s the biggest ME cast reunion to date

The cast had no idea that the remaster was a thing

Lots of ace discussion about what the magic of the MET is (“it captured lightning in a bottle”)

Lots of warm fuzzies between the cast, crew and community, and lots of fun behind-the-scenes anecdotes

Lots of great discussion on the diversity and inclusion in ME: on gender, sexuality, representation, empowerment, the core message in the MET that “we’re all in this together or we’re screwed”, the progress made in the portrayal of female characters in gaming, etc. “Everything behind what went into these characters was authentic, we [the VAs] could tell that so much research, texture, authenticity etc had gone into them. It really made a difference”. JHale: “I’ve spent my career kicking down ceilings [barriers and so on women actors experience] with my steel-toed boot. To get to be a part of this game that has now created the expectation that there now be a female PC, ‘duh’, is once of the great things of my life. BioWare listened and put her on the box. The first time someone dropped the box in front of me I held it over my head and screamed over the crowd, ‘Casey Hudson, thank youuu!!’ It was a divine moment. This game was the moment the boot finally crashed through the glass, pushed by millions of women.”

The panel received many messages from the question submission from fans expressing that MET really helped them through very dark places and periods in their lives. The cast have had a lot of interactions with fans over the years where the fans expressed similar sentiments to them

ME was one of the first games Keythe Farley (Thane) acted for that had branching dialogue/dialogue choices, and when he saw the script with that when he went in, he was like “wow”. ME was the second big game D. C. Douglas (Legion) ever did. In his first audition he didn’t know it was for a robot-type character as it was disguised as something else with a military-feel. The second time it was to do a speech/lament at someone’s funeral and he knew it was for a robot. He said playing Legion for him was a case of “wake up, drink some coffee and go to work”

Jack was really special to her VA Courtenay Taylor because she relates to her so much and had a lot of similar emotional problems and personal troubles in her past. Jack helped her become who she has became. The host added that in his interactions with Courtenay over the years, he realized very quickly that she is very much like Jack

AWR has two moms, something which she hasn’t talked about/expressly said publicly before. Talking about recording lines between Sam and Femshep made her tear up. She said that being raised by two moms in the 80s was tough due to societal attitudes at the time, and so to see a loving relationship between two women depicted in a game was a big deal for her. When recording the white picket fence conversation, she was actually crying (“and then I’m crying because of the lesbians”). It was a huge moment for her to represent her moms’ journey. When she went home she told them all about how her character is gay and wants a white picket fence and everything “just like we had”.

When PW was working on Sam’s arc, one of the things they did was show it to one of their colleagues, who is a lesbian, asking what things she’d like to see in an arc like that and what things she felt were missing from it. The white picket fence conversation came from the colleague’s feedback (“we wanna see the nice, healthy, happy domestic stuff”, as it’s often missing in portrayals of wlw relationships)

As the VAs got more into their characters, they sometimes had feedback and input to the process to offer, like “I don’t think she’d say [this] like [that]”. Sometimes they knew their characters even better than the crew did sometimes. JHale waxed lyrical about Caroline Livingstone’s awesome direction, with the host adding that he has interviewed a lot of the VAs over the years and they all talk about Caroline like she’s Gandalf the White coming to the rescue in LotR. AWR expressed that Caroline is really funny (“don’t worry it’s not you, PW was sick when they wrote this line that’s why”) and emotionally in-tune with them and this makes long hard sessions with her a joy

When Mark went into record for the Citadel DLC one day he asked Caroline “wouldn’t be great if Shepard’s clone had been made to be the opposite gender? Then the two Shepards could fight each other!”

William Salyers (Mordin) likes the way Mordin’s story ended and felt that it was wonderful to be able to play that. He feels like the luckiest person because as he wasn’t the original VA of Mordin, he got to come in late to something that was amazing. “Caroline helped me get to where I needed to be emotionally to play that final scene. It was one of the most moving things I’ve ever gotten to do personally for a piece of interactive art”. PW related that with Mordin’s writing, they didn’t realize how much they were asking for. They thought William was amazing doing all the science-speak/technobabble, as they themselves didn’t know what it meant, and then suddenly having to deliver emotional heartbreaking lines. William’s always been a secret science nerd and so he loved that fact about Mordin. “It was a real treat to say your words”

Karin: “I always claim credit for the Scientist Salarian song even though I had nothing to do with it. I opened that door for PW”

Steve Blum (Grunt) found it a real treat playing Grunt as Grunt is a tough soldier on the outside but a [babey] on the inside, while he is more the other way around (softer on the outside, fight-y inside). He isn’t a gamer and so didn’t know what to expect or what he was getting into. There was the big pile of words, they showed him the picture of Grunt, and he just ran with it. “Grunt was kind of a perfect character for me in that respect”. Side note: his wry comments throughout the panel were hilarious

“Casey Hudson, our glorious loving overlord”

Courtenay jokes about “interspecies snorkeling”

The women Courtenay met working on this game are her friends for life. Ali Hillis (Liara) gave her her number the night of the ME3 drop and was like “let’s hang out!!” “JHale is the shit. I go to England and there’s AWR and I have this friend for life”.

“We’re a family”. The host comments that you don’t see this kind of closeness between the people on a lot of projects

Kimberley Brooks (Ashley) thinks things have and are changing for the better in terms of roles for women, and roles for brown and black women. This year she has noticed increasing awareness of inclusion and of where it’s lacking. “The copies I’m being sent for auditions, it’s drastically changing, I’m seeing it change before my eyes. It’s really exciting, there’s more and more roles for me.” “Ash is such a strong character and I felt very badass playing her, it was life-changing”. She’s excited that the remaster is going to be a new way to see these characters that they’ve been so lucky to voice. Kimberley/Ash was the first female character Karin saw in the studio, when she saw her she was like “Wow, she’s so kickass and inspiring”. At this point Karin hadn’t been working at BioWare for all that long, and she wanted to thank Kimberley, because she saw her and heard her voice and had a personal ‘this changes everything’ moment

Raphael Sbarge (Kaidan) finds it very moving how many women were encouraged into gaming due to ME

Raphael: “Everyone here has awesome varied careers, but because ME was so collaborative [and so on], [it was something really rare and special]. Nothing else I’ve done has been so important or impassioned, it has almost a religious experience to it, which you can see from tears in fans’ eyes and tattoos and people talking about it 10 years later”. “I’m so grateful for it.” “Clearly we’re going to do this again next year! :D” D. C. added that it’s going to follow him for the rest of his career. Courtenay says it has catapulted her career

PW talked about how it’s great that the female chars in ME were allowed to have real, realistic flaws and dark periods (as opposed to nonsense stuff like ‘her flaw is that she’s clumsy’)

Having the male and female PC be voiced was a big, expensive commitment for the studio. Karin commented that at the time, it was a risk that the pretty-much almost entirely-male leadership of BioWare at the time decided was important to take, and so she was happy that these were the values her colleagues had

PW was “the junior baby writer on ME1. I’d just gotten to the studio and Mac Walters fell down a flight of stairs and hurt his back, and they pulled me in while he was healing”. Karin: “Mac was very understanding when PW fell on the ice and hurt themselves during ME2.” PW: “My job in ME1 was to come up with conversations between followers to pass the time in the elevator loading times. I was throwing stuff at the wall to see what would stick”

Steve turning his volume down before he shouts classic Grunt quotes down the mic

Caroline: “Do you know how many tears were shed in the booth? How many times have we all cried in the booth...” JHale: “We were recording the end of ME3, which I never call the end, because I’m always like I’M HERE! [wink] The goodbye Garrus lines” - these lines got right under her skin and when she went to say her lines she couldn’t speak because she’d burst into tears. “It was all I could do to say those words... and then there was silence... [and Caroline had gotten choked up too].” This was one of the last sessions they did. PW: “John Dombrow wrote Garrus in ME3 and I’m gonna tell him that he got you both to break.”

Caroline was also really teary during Keith David’s (Anderson)’s performance where he tells Shepard she’s like his daughter. This moment was one of JHale’s favorites to act

BioWare came up with a proprietary VA recording system which JHale describes as a secret sauce as-yet not widely-used in the industry

Lots of fun in the line-reading portion at the end. The lines/scenes were sent in by fans. This starts around timestamp 1 hour 50 mins. There’s a break where they discuss more anecdotes after a bit then some line-reading resumes at 1 hour 59 mins 18 secs

"Salarian Vorcha Conrad Verner simmering sexual tension scene”

One of PW’s fondest memories is of ME3 when JHale and Mark got to play off each other (which they naturally didn’t get to do very much), when PW had shoved the entire script of the Blasto movie into random ambience throughout the Citadel. They knew Mark was going to be Blasto as he voiced most of the hanar. PW: “We had to have Blasto’s elcor partner’s hot sister... And I was like could it be JHale?? Because they hardly ever get to talk to each other. It was one of my proudest moments”. Mark: “Not only that, we had a romance.” JHale: “Yeah, it was hot”.

“Think of the poor cold freezing Edmontonian hanar”

PW’s story about Sam’s toothbrush: They wrote it as a throwaway line but AWR did it so well that PW wanted to bring it back in the Citadel DLC, as that DLC was the action-comedy one. So they decided the toothbrush was going to save the Normandy. The art director at the time was in an early playthrough of the scene and in that version of the scene Sam held up her empty hand. The director was like “We gotta make the toothbrush? Really? It’s gonna be thousands of dollars to render the toothbrush.” It then got to the next few lines and the director deadpanned at PW “Okay that’s pretty good, we’ll make the toothbrush.” PW: “Good, I got my toothbrush.”

It was John’s idea that we find out that Mordin had been working on a crime noir novel. There was a period in the development of the Citadel DLC where PW was feeling like “Mordin’s gone, he had his big moment, I want to respect and honor that” and the entire team were like “I think Mordin needs a couple more songs dude”. “Well alright!” By that point William had shown them he could deliver literally any line

“Oh I need a shower that was so steamy hot”

PW got in trouble with Localization over Jack’s “Save some of your energy, we’re gonna do it on the pool table” exchange. Localization were like “Um could you explain what Jack means by this??” These lines were PW’s, Karin as an editor got the question about it and passed it on to PW like “nope this is your fault”. “The best part is it was France that needed PW to explain the joke while apparently Germany were like ‘Yes please confirm that this is regarding the possibility of oral sex-’”

Keythe on voicing Thane: “Thane was a real lesson in opening up to the character, allowing this beautifully conflicted character to exist. Each character in the MET has conflicts within themselves and a tragic flaw that is revealed through the course of conflict.” He also waxed lyrical about how the MET was akin to Star Wars and Citizen Kane, and about the interconnectedness and representation in it

D. C.: “I have a question for you guys. Was it a conscious decision to not have Legion as a romance? Because there are a lot of upset people out there!!” “Voltage problems.” “A lot of creative reuses of ‘There was a hole.’” PW: “It was a process of us figuring out what we wanted to do. If we had known... The number of people who were like ‘I don’t know, are people gonna wanna romance Garrus? Liara? She’s blue and has no hair. Are people gonna be okay with that?” Karin: “We were young and naïve, now we know BioWare fans are thirsty.”

Derek brought in the first picture of Thane to show Caroline and she was like “He’s really hot, that’s gonna be a killer character. People are gonna want to romance that gentleman”

Raphael asked the BioWare team if there’s ever been a point where they thought about doing more DLC content or some kind of revival. “Has that ever come up?” “We’re legally obligated not to say, sorry, we’re going through a tunnel right now, bad reception!!”

D. C.: “Does this country have a soul?” “It does.”

“An N7 Day to remember! Go forth and heal.”

#bioware #mass effect #video games #lgbtq #feels #lul #garrus vakarian #best boy #please remember if you are a minor you should not be following me #a minor = under 18 #next mass effect

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