#and I mean ALL powers. this goes for abusive relationships too. I think they need to lose that power before they change.
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Feel free to ignore you've probably got a lot going on right now, but considering you know a lot about DOTC and Clear sky, I had a question...
We know that he's a terrible, misogynistic, woman beating and war mongering lunatic who was excused of all his actions because his equally misogynistic brother said " But-But he's nice! Deep down! This isn't the real him! "
But! In a world where the Hunters could write such a character, what do you think Clear Sky would look like as an actual sympathetic villain?
Idk if that makes sense, but what I've thought of doing is taking purely cannon Clear Sky and attempting to change him enough that he's still an antagonist, but not too far where only Reddit defends him.
I don't think he works as a sympathetic villain, on any level, ever. I think you're making a huge mistake to even try, and I have never seen an AU where it was done well nor am I interested in entertaining the thought.
Characters. Are. Tools. They exist to tell a story. The story that people tell me, by obsessing over some alternate universe where he was "ACTUALLY sympathetic and had a REAL redemption arc," is that they're not fucking interested in his dozens of victims. Nor do they actually care about the abusive impact he had on the minds and feelings of his family. They're JUST interested in Clear Sky himself.
Just like the Erins. Everything that happens in DOTC revolves around him. Everything. All his wives die so he can be sad about it. His brother defends all of his actions and BEGS you to sympathize with his pain so he can be 'redeemable.' One Eye comes out of nowhere so that there can be an example of "real" evil to contrast Clear Sky so he's less bad in hindsight.
The first three books of DOTC are bad, but the last three are fucking insufferable because SUDDENLY all that Gray Wing apologia pays off, and they take their main villain and throw him out a window. You CAN'T have "redeemable" Clear Sky and the plot of DOTC without dragging in someone else to drive the conflict, to BE the bigger threat to "unite" against. Slash and One Eye have to be conjured up out of thin air so Clear Sky can WHINE about how people only suck his toes instead of deepthroat them after he killed all their friends.
And yet, in spite of this absolute failure of an attempt, we continue to see this bullshit "redemption" be a mistake because Clear Sky is a fantastic villain, with major antagonist roles in nearly EVERY bit of follow-up material for DOTC that came after.
He's the most consistent monster in all of Warriors.
He's a fragile, egotistical, self-absorbed megalomaniac who ALWAYS sees himself as the victim, REFUSING to self-reflect and blaming everything else for all of his terrible choices. He will USE your love of him against you like it's a chain through your nose, step out of line and he will yank you into place with guilt trips, manipulation, public shaming, and violence.
He's a child abuser. He's a tyrant. He abandons the sick and disabled as soon as they're of no use to him, with grand speeches about "illness" and "weakness." He's a murderer who stands above the shredded corpse of his victim and bellows, "I'M NOT GREEDY! I'M JUST STRONG!"
And you'd write a "good" redemption arc for this, why?
Why are people so chronically unable to accept that there are LOTS of people like him, and you can't save your abuser? Why don't you ask yourselves why you're not interested in exploring Thunder, or Petal, or Gray Wing, and how his toxic influence impacts them? Why does the sympathy fall on Clear Sky? What about the DOZENS of victims who are dead by Book 3, and how THEY could have been saved?
Why ruin a perfectly good villain?
What's behind this trend where a billion people say to me, "Yes Clear Sky is a walking cavalcade of fucked up abuse apologia, and an incredibly realistic depiction of an abuser, but how would you change this while keeping it all the same?"
I wouldn't. You can't. It wouldn't be the same story, or it wouldn't be the same character. Never seen it done well, and I have seen it a lot. So I don't entertain this deeply frustrating "Well What If Clear Sky But Nice" impulse.
#The closest I'll ever get to that is Fallenleaf. And she lost it all#And spent years in the time-out tunnel#BAD KITTIES GO IN THE PEAR WIGGLER TO BE SUFFICIENTLY WIGGLED.#I don't think people in power typically change. If they do it's so rare it's not worth entertaining. Camel through the eye of a needle shit#and I mean ALL powers. this goes for abusive relationships too. I think they need to lose that power before they change.#When you have power. REAL power. You can fill those holes with it. You can force people to not leave.#so im actively hostile to stories that winge and cry about giving powerful people endless sympathy and chances#You've already shown me what you want to do with your power and as long as you keep it you haven't seen your consequences.#Power reveals.#It doesn't corrupt. It reveals.#DOTC hate#clear sky's redemption arc#If you're in an abusive relationship or under a terrible boss or in some other bad environment. You won't fix it.#You are not responsible for fixing it.#You can't fix it.#And they will not change. so GET OUTTA THERE#And that's who he functions best as. To me.#He's the bastard you need to escape.#And that's infinitely more compelling to me than Nice Clear Sky Attempt 32324#I don't write stories that beg you to sympathize with tyrants and keep your heart open to some maybe-change on the horizon#I write stories where they ruin everything they touch and have to be forcefully yanked out of power before they hurt more people.#And also screw every related take that's like 'ohhh after 5000 years of having his toes sucked he regrets it a bit :('#no he fucking wouldn't. he had his toes sucked for 5000 years. He's vindicated by how fondly he's remembered.#You can't fucking tell me that he doesnt REVEL in how violent the culture became. That him being offended about the clan's exile-#--was anything but him being offended his namesake was going away. That he wouldn't parade around like every choice he ever made was right.#''I made some vague mistakes which I will never name. BUT Im never wrong and always did it my way even if it was hard''#If you haven't met a person like that I envy you.#bone babble#Nothing makes me mad quite like this character#Again I yell about his brother a lot because he's widely loved by the fandom
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(Since I am a bitch 😈😈😈)
I have a request!
NSFW alphabet with our "beloved" Enji Todoroki!!!!!! 😏🔥
MASTERLIST
A - aftercare
If you're just a casual fling or someone he met randomly at a bar, the chances of him sticking around are quite slim. However, if he's genuinely invested in the relationship, there will come a point where he reveals his caring side. Seeing you upset because of his initial emotional distance triggers a sense of guilt within him, and he eventually relents, saying, "Alright, let's cuddle."
B - body part
He loves your ass, tempted to give it a playful pat or some appreciative glances, all while trying to not make the impression that he's a pervert
C - cum
Enji usually pulls out and cums on your ass, or just jacks off to it but sometimes he'll grab your throat and push you on your knees to cum on your face. "Yeah, babe, take it, take it! See how fucking beautiful you look with my cum all over your face?"
D - dirty secret
Endeavor's hidden desire is for you to pleasure yourself with toys while he watches, jacking off
E - experience
He has a wealth of experience, and I mean a substantial amount of it. This guy truly knows what he's doing
F - favorite position
His favourite position is doggy style, he feels so powerful and in control while you're on all fours, whimpering pathetically for him. He loves taking you from behind and pulling on your hair, making you scream his name. "You like it when I fuck you into submission like this? I bet you do, slut."
G - goofy
He's extremely serious and doesn't welcome humor in the bedroom
H - hair
Enji doesn't bother to shave but he's naturally well-tamed with body hair
I - intimacy
The most intimate act for him is to press your foreheads together as he thrusts inside you at merciless pace
J - jack off
In rare occasions, he might indulge in self-pleasure, but this only occurs when you haven't been together for a few weeks or so
K - kinks
Breeding kink - he's definitely into feral/animalistic sex since he's so aggressive
Power play - that goes without saying
Master/slave play - Todoroki finds it very arousing when you're serving him sexually and he can order you around. "Suck my cock like a good little servant and you'll get to cum."
L - location
Bed or shower - Endeavor strongly dislikes dealing with messes in locations where it's not convenient to clean up the filth easily
M - motivation
Intentionally arousing him, only to appear disinterested afterward. He'll absolutely destroy you and abuse all of your holes afterward, but it's worth it. "You fucking tease, I should just pound you until your fucking cunt is sore."
N - no
Anything that places him in a submissive position is something he's not particularly fond of - Endeavor's an aggressive top, and even trying to bottom would hurt his ego
O - oral
He definitely prefers to receive it - he gives only if he feels like it
P - pace
Fast and rough. That's it!
Q - quickie
He’s down for quickies. Enji prefers proper sex, but he won’t say no to a nice quickie
R - risks
He won’t take risks, ever. He wouldn't even consider anything that could potentially harm either of you. His past experiences have made him exceedingly cautious when it comes to taking risks of any kind
S - stamina
He can go for a few rounds at the most, meaning you're having the most earth shattering orgasms of your life coming you way
T - toys
He thinks you don’t need a vibrator when you have him, and he’s goddamn right!
U - unfair
He likes to tease way too much, and he will do it at the worst possible moments. Sometimes you’ll be having dinner with some of the other heroes, and he’ll start to finger you under the table, just like that 🤷
V - volume
Endeavor can get pretty loud, he doesn’t care about noise complaints. He does a lot of growling, groaning and dirty talk
W - wildcard
He will come up with the most pathetic reasons to bend you over his knee and punish you
X - x-ray
He's very thick, very long and very veiny. 8-9 inches when fully hard
Y - yearning
His sex drive is undeniably high. He prefers to engage in sexual activity at least every other day. Occasionally, he can't contain himself and pins you against the nearest surface, having his way with you
Z - zzz
It takes him a little while to fall asleep, so normally you’ll be the first to be asleep
#mha smut#bnha smut#my hero academia smut#anime smut#smutty smut smut#smutty blurb#enji todoroki smut#enji smut#endeavor smut#todoroki enji x reader#endeavor x reader#x reader#enji todoroki imagine#endeavour#endeavor#endeavor bnha#smut alphabet#enji todoroki#bnha enji#enji x reader
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Fandom : Homestuck
Character : Dave Strider
Pairing : Romantic
Description : Just some regular Headcanons with the coolest Boy
Love your writings! :D
- Eridan Anon
Sure! This focuses on my take of him in Homestuck, if something is off I'm so sorry :( I wasn't sure if I wrote him right so I researched what I could.
Happy late Birthday to Dave, I share the same extended zodiac sign as him and I love his character :)
Not fully edited, may have spelling mistakes.
Yandere! Dave Strider Concept
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Delusional behavior, Overprotective behavior, Trauma (Dave's backstory primarily), Manipulation, Kidnapping, Violence/Death, Stalking, Secret picture taking, Forced relationship.
I feel Dave is one that both tries too hard around you yet also puts up facades.
More than anything he feels he should protect you and that he knows best.
The above trait is something he shares eerily with Dirk due to the trauma he suffered with Bro.
He greatly cares about you but at the same time appears distant at times.
Dave tends to make music for fun and for his friends, playing a cool persona despite being quite vulnerable due to his past.
He tends to go on long rants and talks to himself and is quite mature.
He jokes but can take things seriously when he needs to, he also tries to not abuse his time powers.
Yet it's shown he'd go back in time to prevent the demise of any of his friends since he cares a lot.
Dave originally appears like he doesn't care about you or your interests.
Although, in reality, Dave really enjoys you and listening to you talk.
He remembers every interest you have to bring up later, just to hear you speak about it.
Dave is easily influenced by you too.
He really does think you're cool and if you bring up the fact you like something... Dave does his best to find a gift that goes along with it.
He'd talk to you over Pesterchum and send gifts to you at times.
He often wants to ramble at you about various things, like he's venting.
He'd love it if you listened, honestly.
In a way Dave displays delusional behavior as he thinks he knows how to care for you.
Part of him is certainly projecting trauma.
Similar to how he wanted to protect Jade because he liked her, he feels he has to do the same with you.
You can tell Dave has care towards you through the music and gifts he sends.
It's all tuned to your likes and interests, showing he does listen to you despite the front he puts up.
Honestly, due to his past I can see Dave wanting your praise.
He would want to feel validated through you.
Being there for him is enough to make him attached.
As I said before, he is eerily like Dirk Strider in terms of yandere behavior.
Dave may manipulate you without really meaning it.
This is due to the delusional thought that he knows best.
He knows kidnapping you, isolating you, and being the only one around you is wrong.
But to him is seems like the right thing to do.
Seeing the mortality of his friends and himself certainly doesn't help such thoughts.
If you were in his session he would use his powers to protect you.
Still tries not to abuse them, yet he can't see himself going on without you.
If you were both Derse Dreamers, Dave would want to find you to just talk.
Dave seems like he'd get unintentionally clingy.
Subconsciously he wants to get closer up until he eventually gives in and isolates you.
He just feels comfortable with you, you're so much more welcoming than Bro was to him.
He hates to upset you but finds it necessary at times.
How else is he supposed to keep you safe with him?
Dave is skilled in photography.
Which obviously means he tries to take as many pictures as he can of you.
Everything from shared selfies to more... candid and secretive pictures.
He keeps them in either an album or a folder on his PC to look at.
They bring him comfort.
Dave often suppresses his emotions.
While he does feel bad when he makes you upset, he can't be so easily driven by emotion to let you go.
Which is ironic... as he allowed emotion to drive him to the point of isolating and kidnapping you.
Dave doesn't mind you speaking to the others for the most part.
But he isn't afraid to restrict it eventually.
Dave doesn't mean to be so possessive and protective at times.
He unfortunately can't help it.
You're just about the only one he can cling to.
This leads him to trying to form a romantic attraction towards you.
He just wants you all to himself... for the protection and comfort of both of you in his eyes.
Dave would try his best to be affectionate.
It's difficult for him as he doesn't understand at first.
However, if you showed him affection before things went downhill, then he'll do that.
Tight hugs, attempted kisses, stuff like that.
For the most part he feels comfortable with the fact you're safe.
He tells you that in his rambles.
Dave no doubt would make songs that represent the two of you in his mind.
He'd then play them while sitting beside you, just enjoying the moment while you plot ways to leave.
Overall... I feel yandere Dave means well... but that does not make what he's doing right.
Due to his background and experiences... he's so obsessed with protecting and impressing you he loses himself.
Leading to Dave often neglecting your own feelings in favor his own.
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I’m finally caught up on Till the End of the Moon (up to ep 24), and before everything goes to hell--something both that I’m looking forward to and that fills me with dread --I have some Susu thoughts. Yes, she’s done some dumb things to put herself in the situation in which she now finds herself (I haven’t read the novel, though it sounds like that’s in part an adaptation issue), but also, her situation was already fully impossible. A big part of that is because of how many versions of Tantai Jin she holds inside her head and her conflicting relationships with all of those different versions that this scene so beautifully invoked:
Anyway, I’m kind of obsessed with Susu, so here’s a character analysis that literally no one asked for.
The first version of Tantai Jin Susu knows is the Devil God that not only essentially ended the world (stakes almost too big to wrap your brain around) but also killed all of her family and friends in front of her (more personal stakes). He also nearly killed her--she viscerally remembers both the feeling of his hand around her throat and the look in his eyes when he did. No matter what the past version of Tantai Jin does, that version came first and can pop up in her brain at literally any moment, especially as he gains power and becomes more of a potential threat. That leads to the first version of Susu that has to exist: the version that needs to prevent his rise as the Devil God at any cost. Her sect died to send her back in time and give her that chance. She cannot afford to forget her mission.
The second version of Tantai Jin Susu knows is Tantai Jin as how he is when she arrives in the past. He starts out as a poor, abused little mew mew, and Susu pretty quickly finds herself unable to punish Tantai Jin for his future crimes. She’s not even very good at being mean to him. At the same time, she needs to stop him from dying before she figures out how to deal with the whole evil bone situation. This Tantai Jin leads to the next layer of Susu’s relationship with Tantai Jin: she needs to keep him alive and, on the off chance that it’ll prevent him from becoming the Devil God, be nice to him, too. Since no one has cared whether Tantai Jin lives or dies before, or if they did probably preferred him dead, that little bit of kindness and care fully knock Tantai Jin off balance. And that leads to the first time Susu lies to Tantai Jin that she wants to protect him because she loves him, which is where their relationship starts to get messy.
Then, plot things happens, Susu disappears for a few months, and when gets back, she meets essentially the third version of Tantai Jin: Tantai Jin has somehow become king of a whole ass country while she was gone, is fighting a war against her new “home” country, and has started using his demonic powers in a pretty big way. Yes, Tantai Jin is actually a pretty good ruler, but Susu remembers a version of him that’s capable of wiping out the entire world. His newfound access to power puts her on edge. She’s constantly afraid he’ll misuse it.
She also knows now what she needs to do in order to get rid of his evil bone: she has to make him fall in love with her in order to get the weapon that she needs to kill him (at least I think it’ll kill him, I’m a little unclear there--stabbing him in the heart with nine nails seems at least fairly unpleasant). So she embarks on the third and fourth versions of her relationship with Tantai Jin simultaneously: a growing loving, romantic relationship that she has to do a good enough job developing to get what she needs to utterly betray him.
The thing is, Susu isn’t that good of an actress. As she does all the things she thinks she needs to do to get Tantai Jin to fall in love with her (shout out to our romance advice queen Pian Ran), she also falls for him. She also knows that Tantai Jin’s love for her is entirely real because every time his love for her grows, she gets another nail. He’s not faking it. He’s telling her the truth. To keep going, she has to lie to herself convincingly enough to imagine a future with him in which he’s a good person and they love each other, and do all the things she needs to do to bring that future into being. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to manage it. But she also has to be ready to destroy that imaginary future that feels more and more real to her as her relationship to Tantai Jin grows in order to prevent the worse future, the end-of-the-world future, from happening (or so she thinks). To do that, she has to be prepared to break his heart. And if she admits to herself that she loves him and she’s not just pretending for the mission, then she has to be prepared to break her own heart as well to do it.
So, as things stand now: Susu hates, loves, fears, wants to protect, and has to kill Tantai Jin, all at the same time. It’s a wonder she’s not more of a mess.
Also, I haven’t read the novel, but if/when Susu betrays Tantai Jin, not only will he have to deal with the immediate betrayal of the stabbing, if he ever finds out that she came back in time *solely* to stop him and that her love was all a ruse from the very beginning, it really is going to be the betrayal to end all betrayals. Should be fun.
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Implied Rape / and SA in WC
For fuck sales I'm sorry, but people who think that rape and sexual assault don't exist among warriors are complete morons. Somehow you can fathom the idea of pedophilia and grooming, and genocide and such other topics in the books, but someone's rape is where it's pushing the lines and that it's a stretch. You people are actually weird. So as a sexual abuse victim, I'm going to give my perspective on this because I'm actually sick of it.
To start, I want to say that rape will not always be outright forced. Coerced consent is rape. Pressured consent is rape. Befriending women for motives beyond an actual relationship and for just sex is rape because you are essentially leading through a process of desensitization, manipulation, and Coercion. And to add on using physically abuse to scare your victim into fulfilling your needs and this applies here considering Tom does just that.. Quite literally, it is a premeditated sexual assault.
Marital rape is a thing where they pressure or coerce their spouse into doing sexual deeds despite them not wanting to. In this case, Tom played the nice guy and pretended like he loved her until they got into a relationship so he could get sex out of her. Yes. These cats have sex because, quite literally, it is implied every time it says, "I'm expecting kits" or "I'm carrying kits."
They know what sex is. Though it's not explicit in nature,. He acts lovingly with the intent to desensitize her to the idea of him not being a bad person. His motive is to get kittens out of her because he can control her with them and only reveal his true colors once it happens. Tom had power over both turtle tail and Bumble, not only because of how much larger he was than them but also because they were in a marriage where she loved him too much to see him for what he was until after he made his intentions clear.
Turtle Tail: "How do you think it happened? I made a mistake. I missed you all so much. Tom seemed strong and friendly, I thought I could move on and make a new life with him. But when I realized I was expecting kits, he... he changed."
Gray Wing: "If he hurt you..."
Turtle Tail: "Oh, no! Tom was still friendly, but he didn't want to make any plans for the kits with me. And Bumble seemed uncomfortable any time I mentioned them. But neither of them would admit that anything was wrong."
- page 19 of Thunder Rising
I'm sorry, but this text seems very rapey. Call it a stretch if you'd like, but I could give less of a fuck, honestly. Tom had shown his true colors after he realized Turtle Tail was pregnant because he knew he could use their kits against her to control her. He kidnapped her for the purpose of controlling her and would've abused their kits regardless if Turtle Tail did not come back. Tom threatened not to tell Bumble and stated that he was beating her because Turtle Tail left.
In chapter two, when Turtle Tail returns, she notes that there is no father of her kits and that she does not want him involved in her life. She acknowledges that he is abusive and a bully who physically assaults her. In chapter two, when Turtle Tail returns, she notes that there is no father of her kits and that she does not want him involved in her life. She acknowledges that he is abusive and a bully who physically assaults her. When Thunder meets her, he speaks of her as if she means little, bashing her for taking away their kittens and claiming that she "stole them." He thinks little of his children as only pawns in possession and control over his wife.
I’m sorry, but if you still fail to see how a man who befriends a woman, who then goes on to spoon-feed her false facade and then uses the mate title to coerce her into having sex with him as not being rape, you are not very smart and lack genuine analytical skills. Yes, I get that Warriors is very terrible at hinting at the obvious, but this was a very clear message of domestic violence, coercion of rape, and premeditated sexual assault. It’s not a stretch because it is the literal reality.
To say that rape makes the series “too dark” while at the same time knowing that there are multiple groomers and pedophiles running around in the series is ridiculous.
And let’s not forget, slash, he used to be apart of the One Eyes group, and he was promised Star Flower as a wife. He physically restrains her and holds her down, getting on top of her and holding her captive while Clear Sky does absolutely nothing. And directly after that, he gets uncomfortably close despite being told to stop, licks her cheek, and is extremely creepy about it.
Unwanted touch is sexual assault, guys. Put on your thinking cap, because I know you’re smart enough to think. I have seen some imply that Yarrowleaf’s relationship with Nettle is implied to be a case of rape, and I disagree considering the circumstances in which the Shadowclan cats were living while in the kin. And imposter Bramblestar is hinted at with how much he kept her confide in her den and his overrate affection for her. He’s a canon groomer of Shadowsight and Bristlefrost so I wouldn’t put it past the Erin’s to try this shit.
#warrior cats#erin hunter warriors#dawn of the clans#turtle tail#bumble wc#ashfur#squirrelflight#squirrelstar#imposter Bramblestar#Slash wc#Slash dotc#clear sky#skystar#star flower#yarrowleaf#nettle wc#a vision of shadows
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didn't the showrunners for some reason portrayed helaena-aegon marriage as sexual abusive one like their parents marriage?
Hi anon! So, I didn't really interpret it that way, but I think it's one of those things where your mileage may vary. We really were only given crumbs about their marriage in the show, so this is just how I interpreted it.
The only line we get from Helaena about her marriage to Aegon is that "it isn't that bad, mostly he just ignores you, except sometimes when he's drunk." It's completely devoid of context, so for all we know Aegon comes back home drunk to bitch and moan or cry on Helaena's shoulder, not to have sex with her. But assuming she is talking about sex, we know from episode 7 that Aegon didn't want this marriage, so you can also easily read that line to mean that Aegon can literally only perform with her sexually when he's intoxicated. Also, if you watch Aegon's reaction when Helaena says this, he's clearly embarrassed. She's roasting him in front of the whole family, exposing him for being a shitty husband who isn't very present, but he's not getting angry, instead he looks like he wants to sink through the floor. And like, obviously victims can act any sort of way around their abusers, there's no rulebook, but I think that if the director of this episode intended for us to read the dynamic between them as an abusive one, they would probably not have had Helaena gleefully mocking Aegon and Aegon reacting with obvious shame. It's important to remember two things about Helaena and Aegon. First, she's his sister, and second, it was an unwanted marriage that happened when they were both too young. And Aegon and Helaena would have been pushed into doing their duty and securing his line with children the same way Rhaenyra was. They wouldn't have been given a choice. And although they're Targaryens, Aegon, at least according to TGC, hates being a Targaryen. Brother-sister marriage is something only Targaryens do in this world, something their mother might grudgingly accept but which goes against her faith. If Aegon rejects his heritage (with the notable exception of his dragon!), he probably has a hard time being married to the sister he never wanted to marry in the first place. In this context, him needing to be drunk to make it happen makes sense.
So I don't know anon. From the (albeit limited) dialogue in the show as well as the interviews that the writers and TGC have given about Aegon, I just don't think we were meant to interpret that line as indicating he rapes Helaena. Just because show!Aegon raped a serving girl doesn't mean that he never has consensual sex or that he rapes every woman he lays eyes on either. In fact, that's one of those dangerous misconceptions about the nature of sexual assault. It would be great if it was that easy to identify potential rapists, but in reality a person can have a consensual relationship which never crosses any boundaries with one person, and still cross the line of consent with another, especially when there are power imbalances involved. So in this case I'm inclined to believe that Aegon's relationship with the Helaena is not sexually abusive. He and Helaena both seem to draw lines with each other, both as brother and sister and as husband and wife, whereas clearly Aegon lacks any sense of boundaries when it comes to the staff.
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Serpine in therapy for the asks :)
Okay so my headcanon is actually that Nef doesn't get a choice about going to therapy. It's part of the parole agreement he makes with the Sanctuary when he immigrates to Roarhaven. Whether or not he is answerable for our Serpine's war crimes, and whether the Sanctuary here can try him for his war crimes back in Leibniz, is still up for debate by legal professionals and he'd rather not risk it, so in exchange for his freedom he agrees to comply with weekly check-ins with a parole officer (which ends up being Skug, because China is spiteful), regular therapy, and location monitoring.
And like. Honestly, he thinks the whole thing is a massive waste of time - the Sanctuary flexing its power over him to make a point. He shows up, he's charming and personable, he flirts with the therapist and the girl on reception and anyone else he happens to bump into - but he thinks that before long, he'll have them convinced that he's psychologically normal and doesn't need their services, and they'll discharge him.
But like. The thing about Nef, aside from having a sadistic streak a mile wide and Chronic Backstabbing Bitch Disease, is that he's spent the vast majority of (at least) his adult life surrounded by people who would turn on him in a heartbeat if it suited them to do so. He comes from a world where abuse, manipulation and betrayal are not only common, they're the norm. That's the only way to relate to the world and to others that he understands. The Faceless worshippers are a nasty bunch who all encourage each other's worst impulses and learn to care only for themselves, and on the rare occasion that they break those habits, they tend to get hurt by those who haven't. So like, Nef's normal meter is completely and utterly broken. In his Handbook backstory, his childhood was unstable and emotionally damaging. As an adult, he has nothing to do with his family - all he had was Mevolent and the Church. His relationship history is littered with violent psychopaths like Christophe Nocturnal and Jaron Gallow, people who approved of and supported Serpine's own sadistic tendencies, but also tended to vent theirs on him when it suited them. This. Man. Is. A mess.
The therapist suspects complex trauma - although, that's not as unusual a diagnosis as it is for mortals: it's a given for millions of sorcerers who survived the 500 Year War - narcissistic tendencies, though not to the point of a full blown personality disorder, and an obsessive focus on/one-sided rivalry with Skulduggery.
Honestly, I think Nef would mostly use it as an opportunity to annoy Skug. He pays attention, but mostly so he can take what the therapist tells him and put it to use while Skulduggery is stuck in the car with him for an eight hour stakeout. Psychoanalyse him. Armchair-diagnose him. Treat him to a three hour monologue of "My therapist said..."
But like. You know that thing where you start saying hewwo to mock other people who say hewwo, and it's kind of a mean-spirited joke at first, but suddenly you've unironically adopted hewwo into your daily vocabulary and can't stop saying it? Yeah.
Some of it starts to get in via osmosis and sheer habit. He spends so long mockingly telling Skug about all the problems that he (Nef) thinks he (Skug) has, that he actually starts to notice things for real. He can tell when Skug is dissociating. He can point out to Val that she has a tendency to pull away from and lash out at the people who want to help her, because she's terrified to be seen as anything other than competent and capable, and then he'll think, hold on, I do that too.
A lot of therapy goes in one ear and out the other because it doesn't work for him - complex trauma is just Like That. The standard practices - like CBT - seem like platitudinous drivel to you, and the fact that everyone else seems to think they work often feels like a great big joke everyone is playing on you. But he takes in enough to start making some small changes to how he interacts with others and how he behaves. He starts learning how to react appropriately to distress signals in the people who are becoming his friends, rather than seeing those signals as something to take advantage of, a soft spot to sink a knife into and twist. He's developing basic empathy, which actually helps him, because for once in his life he's in a situation where bonding with others is The Way To Get Ahead, rather than something that would get him killed.
And he's getting a better grade in therapy than Skug, by virtue of actually agreeing to go, so he gets to be smug about that.
#skulduggery pleasant#nefarian serpine#sp headcanons#100% tho hes storing it all to use to get into peoples heads in the future if he needs to
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Young Justice watches one piece together
They argue constantly over which pirate crew they are and none of them can agree
They’ve all made up power moves based on one piece
Every one piece backstory has Cissie, Kon, and Greta sobbing and dry heaving while an amused Cassie tries to console them
Whenever Robin says something morbid offhandedly they all turn and look at Tim who’s immediate response is ‘it’s not like she’s wrong-‘ while Anita agrees with him
During Momonosuke’s backstory, they all just stare at Bart bc he goes ‘hey it’s me’ while giggling which ended with Greta sobbing
Cassie compared Mr. Sarcastic to Sniper King & Tim made a powerpoint with over 300 slides explaining why they’re wrong
Cissie and Anita will explain in detail why they’d never lose to a devilfruit user (all of their plans involve drowning) while Greta points out the weak points in their plans
The entire team will wordlessly gesture to Tim whenever Nami or Usopp are lying, undercover, or just straight up doing shady shit
“My name’s Kon and I ate the tact-tact fruit now I have tactile telekinesis which means-” “stfu I don’t mention my powers that much” “yes tf you do” “wE dOn’T hAvE tO WoRrY mY tTk will-” “now it’s a crime to share things about myself with my friends??” “if I have to hear about your ttk again I don’t want to be friends”
Whenever it’s mentioned that characters parents are dead/abusive/estranged they all make fun of each other for being orphans or belonging to otherwise dysfunctional families
Bart was compared to the tontatta tribe for the entirety of Dressrosa and still gets shit for it
whenever a character explains their devil fruit it doesn’t matter if it’s once or every time their on screen, they look at Kon who’s very adamant that he does not sound like that
Cissie has threatened physical violence in response to being compared to both Uta and Yamato
Brook hadn’t even been on screen for five minutes before they had to pause bc Tim ordered Greta a piano while entire team compared Greta and Brook for over an hour
They referred to Tim as yj’s chief of staff for months, they had Bart change his position on young justice to chief of staff in his fucking file
Anita once told Cissie that her insults took little imagination much like the nickname’s Luffy gives people he doesn’t like
Then they teamed up to fight Tim who mentioned that their arguments were reminiscent of Zoro and Sanji’s
They compare each other to one piece characters all the time and it’s not in a friendly “haha hey you and this character like the same food” but evil ass shit that you’d have to fight someone for saying
“Another orphan!” “mf your parents are dead too!” “I don’t know why you’re giggling, yours aren’t even dead and they don’t want you”
“Big Mom and Pudding’s relationship is sorta like you and Superman” cue Kon pointedly sideyeing Bart and Bart jumping up to point at Tim with both hands who doesn’t even look away from the screen to point at Cissie
“You see Luffy rn? That’s what Tim was like when Kon and Bart died, that’s what you left me to deal with” “You were like that too!”
“Oh, wow Brook also joined a cult after being separated from his friends” “separated?! mf I died” “tim YOU JOINED THE LEAGUE” “we’re all technically-” “no ra’s al ghul’s league” “TIM…tim what the hell”
“Do you think you and Sanji flirt with everyone in your immediate vicinity bc you need someone to validate your existence and you know your father never will?”
“You and Sanji have the same dumbass taste in code names” “wdym??” “red robin….soba mask” “soba mask is objectively worse??” “is it really though”
“Anita, wasn’t your grandfather also complicit in your parents death??” “more like directly responsible but fuck you”
“Anyone else seeing the similarities between Sterry and Sabo with Tim and Damian??”
“You and Bepo both apologize for existing, do you think he does it bc his mom doesn’t love him or is that just you?”
“A stoic badass with a sword-” “it’s not a fucking sword-” “-did I say I was done? that never had any semblance of a normal childhood so their trust issues and short temper are 74% of their personality” “I just want you to know I have your address” “proving my point rn”
“Has anyone else noticed that Greta and Baby5 will fall in love with any moron that gives them the slightest bit of positive attention?” Tim and Greta making offended noises but not disagreeing
“Dead parents, fanboy, hates life, idiot friends, 37 complicated ass convoluted fucking plans with a million steps for a simple ass mission, and gets a little too aggressive when their plans aren’t being followed, am I talking about Law or Tim?” “you’re my idiot friends, you fuCKING-” “see!?”
“Kon, you fly and some psycho created then abandoned you along with ruining your self-esteem” “the fucking CLOUD??? why wouldn’t it fly you goddamn asshole” “that’s your issue?!” “well maybe you shouldn’t say dumb shit to me”
“Hey, Zoro also has dead childhood friends-” “why don’t you go-”
“Look, an impulsive moron doing reckless shit in a whole ass suit with absent/abusive parents from a wealthy background, does this sad adrenaline junkie remind you of anyone?” “yeah you you fucking moron-” “what fucking money do I have-” “he means lex” “well, I also said suit you ever see me in a fucking suit, genius?” “You didn’t specify what kind of suit, genius”
“Do you think you and zoro are so mistrusting of others bc you had to take care of yourselves from a young age??”
“You ever think about the fact that every adult in you and robins life disappointed you when you needed them?” “which robin?” “either tbh” “okay, fuck all of you”
#young justice watches one piece#young justice#young just us#anita fite#dc empress#greta hayes#dc secret#bart allen#impulse#dc impulse#cassie sandsmark#wonder girl#kon el#kon kent#superboy#cissie king jones#arrowette#dc comics#source: i made it the fuck up
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If it's not too much trouble, do you have headcanons for Kotoko/Monaka? I like to imagine post-canon they work out their issues with each other and get to a much healthier place, like, when they're teenagers. I related a lot to Kokoto's toxic relationship with Monaka, I definitely had relationships like that when I was in elementary school too. It's kind of nice to imagine a world where - whether romantically or platonically - they work out their issues and work out, even if that might not be exactly realistic, aha...
Oh MAN do I have post-canon Warriors of Hope headcanons. I really do love imagining these kids and the lives they lead when they come of age.
I try not to use read mores, but this one got way longer than the usual headcanon posts, and it very much is less "Kotoko/Monaca headcanons" and more "elaborate set-up for how Kotoko and Monaca feel about their crimes as teenagers." So more under the cut I guess!
Firstly, some setup. I love adoptive family relationships, and especially mother/child adoptive relationships. So of course I love daydreaming about Aoi "Bleeding Heart" Asahina adopting Kotoko, and it becoming a Kyoko (or Miaya!)/Hina-parenting-Kotoko, friends-to-moms slowburn. SOMEONE'S adopting these children, and it's not Komaru "I Just Spent A Full Year In Solitary Isolation (:" or the "We Taser Ourselves To Decide Whether The Serial Killer Fronts (:" Fukawas. Hina's upbeat, she keeps it light, and unlike Makoto "Spotless" Naegi, she understands the guilt of attempting/committing mass murder. Kyoko isn't quite any of that but deep in my heart. Through The Power Of Love And Elaborate Metaphors About Her Relationship To Her Father
And I mean. I'm going to be honest. Monaca's, like, 10. She spends three days in space before she goes 1. Wow this sucks 2. I did not in fact prepare enough materials to live like this indefinitely. I'm like 10. I packed enough for about 13 hours and thought I was good Forever. I need more marshmallows.
So it takes Monaca all of half a week to admit her failures and crash land somewhere on earth. The island with the Remnants? Misaki and Takumi? In-universe versions of the V3 students as adults? Personally I'm a fan of Yasuhiro and Kanon adopting her in the world's absolute weirdest fantasy. What matters is SOMEONE finds her. And we get Mod Loves Sappy Adoptive Relationships V2: Now With The Green One.
Because listen. Listen. These are kids. They have committed heinous, unforgivable crimes of extreme ethical concern, and they are also ten years old. Their only frame of ethical reference is a manipulator and abuser so good at what she does that she ended the world. People generally remember this with the other Warriors, but they almost always set it aside for Monaca, so I want to be clear: Monaca Towa is redeemable. Because she was 10 years old, and the moment she was out from under the thumb of the people who taught her how to do these cruel and unusual things, her first plan was Run Away To Space To Escape The Things That Have Happened Here. They're children.
THAT MEANS A LOT OF GUILT. NO ONE HAS EVER NOT BECOME A PUDDLE OF REGRET ABOUT SOMETHING THEY DID IN MIDDLE SCHOOL.
In general, I actually think Kotoko struggles with guilt the least amongst the Warriors. Firstly, I think having a parent who understands and can help her come to grips with what she's done from a very personal place really helps her work through it. But I also think Kotoko is low-empathy in general. I think eventually, she comes to understand intellectually what she's done wrong, but I don't think she ever struggles with the idea that she shouldn't have done it. I think she would be very practical about the circumstances that she was in, and in her mind, well. What else was she supposed to do? She'd been abused all her life. She was up against Junko Enoshima. Obviously what she did was wrong, but any other kid in that situation would've, in Kotoko's mind, done the same.
On the other hand, I believe Monaca would get hit with guilt very intensely once she finally processed everything she'd been through at high-school age, but that she would absolutely keep that under wraps and act as though it was meaningless to her.
Monaca is, in my opinion, a compulsive liar. You can see that in a lot of canonical ways, but I choose to extend it a bit to headcanons - it's not that she Doesn't need a wheelchair, it's that she has days when she needs it and days when she doesn't, and pretending she never needed it at all gives people a huge shock. She didn't plan to not kill herself with the rest of the Warriors as a prank; she really planned to do it, but people look at her when she says that. It's a defensive mechanism, and a method of feeling in control. At least I can choose for them to hate me by lying and being terrible, instead of being hated when I haven't done anything.
So I think, when she is finally faced with the enormity of what she has done, Monaca does what her first instinct is always to do: runs away from it and lies herself into culpability. Of course I killed all those terrible adults, and now that I'm almost their age, I'll just die instead of becoming one of them! That sort of thing. I think she traps herself into her own persona, no matter how hard she tries to improve, because Monaca is a child who internalizes until she breaks.
So when Kotoko and Monaca meet coincidentally at high-school age. Ho boy. Kotoko who still sort-of blames Monaca who blames herself, and neither of them completely aware of how to comfort a person or how to hate a person in a way that isn't lethal...oh the GROWTH. The Strawberry Wine by Deana Carter of it all
#asks#anon#im sorry this wasnt about their relationship it got too long T_T#you can send me another ask if you want me to talk more about their actual interactions as teens! i just started talking about the backstor#and then all of a sudden it was. So Much Text#monakoto#headcanons#monaca towa#kotoko utsugi#udg#dr3#talk to the mod
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sub!michael with a affectionate lover
Navigation | More Michael | AO3
synopsis: Michael shouldn't behave like that around you, but he can't help himself. Not when he feels so comfortable, safe, and complete around you. Not when you're so willing to show Michael how much you want him.
warnings: sub!michael. touch starved. i will never beat the spit kink allegations. food kink with you really pay attention. go watch the secretary!!!!!!!
• Michael is a demon. A mastermind. He isn't weak. Powerless. Unable to do as it pleases him. Most people think he's a god when they meet him. So to come with the fact that something burned inside him whenever he gave up control to you, oh that was a ride.
• Whenever you lead, Michael breath easier. Whenever you show him what you want, he feels a need to make you have whatever you desire. When you grab him, Michael feel held. When you order him around, he feel loved. When you spit on him, he feel used. And even that is so fucking good.
• It can be sexual, he loves when it is, but your power goes beyond this. When you choose his clothes, decide what he will eat, make him work on his knees. He spend hours sat on bed, doing nothing but to stare at his own hands, just because you said you wanted him too.
• He never was happier.
• It gave him freedom. To have you in control, means he for once can just go with the flow. Some would judge your relationship. They would say you have to much power over Michael. That is toxic or abusive. To which Michael would answer: "I'm doing exactly what I want to."
• Michael wasn't used to feel wanted or loved before you. Your affection overwelmed him. Michael didn't knew how to react, or what to do next. He felt lost, like everyone knew something he didn't. And it was so difficult, until you both understood how your relationship would work.
• Because now Michael has instructions. He don't need to worry about what to do to make you feel as loved as he feels: you will say. Order. When you want him in all fours so you can rest your feet against something nice, you will tell him. When you want him to like your hands clean after you ate an ice cream, you will tell him. When you want him to be a good boy, your good boy, you will tell him.
• Michael controls the world. And you control him.
if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡
@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.
#madwomansapologist#the good place fic#the good place fanfiction#the good place imagine#the good place michael#the good place#the good place x reader#the good place x you#the good place x y/n#michael x you#michael x reader#michael tgp#tgp michael#michael tgp x you#michael tgp x reader#michael tgp x y/n#tgp michael x reader#tgp michael imagine#tgp michael x you#tgp michael x y/n#tgp
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If Steve Rogers functions as the Superman of the bunch, the noble hero out of the past who inspires the others to greatness, what exactly is Bucky Barnes role, especially as Captain America himself?
I don't think that's a very meaningful analogy because like. The Justice League and the Avengers are very different teams, and despite their fairly similar ethics Clark and Steve are possibly even more different guys.
Captain America's is a solid general all-rounder, very mid-level in terms of actual power. Problems are frequently too big for him. Superman is stupid strong--every so often something shows up that's more powerful than he is, but he spends most of his life finessing his way through using as much force as he needs without overshooting and causing unacceptable collateral damage. He can move planets.
Psychologically, there's a vast gulf there.
The legacy of Krypton and the, the myth of America are roughly the same shape but are worn in completely opposite ways. No one on Earth knows or cares about Krypton except through Superman, and even he doesn't remember it--sometimes Kara does--so it's just pretty shapes and a deep solemnity.
America is messy and current and in-your-face, it was there before Steve and it'll probably outlive him and sometimes he gets so fed up with its foreign policy decisions or civil rights abuses he puts on a different outfit or goes and lives in a bunker.
'Superman' is a big idea that rests entirely on Kal-El as a person and as a force; 'Captain America' as a concept might be built on Steve and his supersoldier status but it's not dependent on him, they keep making a point of that.
Meanwhile they've made Jon Superman but struggle mightily with how to do that without just making him his dad. Of course they'd be struggling less if they'd let him grow up at a normal speed or were willing to lean into what a fucking bizarre person he ought to be after seven years in a cave with his dad's evil twin; basically Jon Kent doesn't have a character right now and they think he can hold up a title. But actually they know he can't that's why they brought Clark back. Superman is a disaster right now.
So anyway. In classic terms, Bucky was the counterpart of Jimmy Olsen. Then he died--I believe this was established in a retcon in the 60s when they brought Cap back, when Marvel was getting its feet under it as the grounded, realistic superhero comic company.
Then Bucky and Jason Todd both came back in 2005 which was kind of embarrassing for everyone imo. Just like. Did you have to do that at the same time you're making each other's cheap stunts look even more stuntlike.
Bucky's actually done better over the last 18 years than Jason tbh, rip--I mean in terms of interesting stories and development. Jason got his own book and all, he just also was subjected to terrible discontinuity of character and was primarily written by Scott Lobdell for like a decade. Terrible.
In terms of who he can be compared to relative to Superman when he's being Captain America, I. Uhhhhhh. No one in any useful way, I don't think. The obvious place to look is the Death of Superman/Reign of the Supermen period, but like.
Does Bucky have anything really in common with Cyborg Superman other than being a traumatized cyborg? No. Does he have anything in common with The Kid (later Kon-El)? You'd think there'd be something but there really isn't. Each point they have in common (i.e. dehumanizing lab background) they have diametrically opposed relationships to.
Steve's had duplicates and impersonators, I think the anti-commie guy he beat up that time is kind of like his Cyborg Superman equivalent? Except there's a whole political ideology thing going on there which is just not present with Superman. Anyway, not relevant to Bucky.
...you can I think draw some kind of relationship between Sam Wilson as Captain America and John Henry Irons as Steel, because on the writing end of things there's a definite flavor match, in terms of very deliberately creating a very cool black man and holding him up as an exemplar in a superhero story that otherwise has not got a lot of black people in major roles, and making him the best person to uphold the legacy of the Very Important Hero Guy. Like certain conventions are utilized the same in both instances. In certain ways that was two versions of the same story.
But also not really; Irons was very much pinch-hitting and what made him the best was that he was the one determined to do the work rather than claim the glamor; it's a lot more ceremonious and torch-passing with Wilson. A different deal. Although in some ways that's just because Marvel has hung onto and deliberately invested in the Falcon for decades.
DC Comics stop doing weird stuff with Clark's family and identity and reinvest in the supporting cast challenge. Where is Steel what's going on with him. Does he exist in this timeline.
#ask#hoc est meum#Anonymous#this is a weird question lmao#comics#are you the same person from the other day#i have the covid i have nothing better to do than ramble so good timing
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Surely Giliys can’t be problematic in any way, right? (Him for the problematic oc meme)
(Under a cut because of a lot of murder, some vivisections, betrayal, child neglect/abuse, emotional problems, relationship problems and boundary crossing, and a smidgen of sexism).
Giliys is, indeed, an unproblematic angel. Well except that he....
• Is literally a serial killer.
• Is responsible for at least 4 mass casualty incidents.
• Participated in the fatal vivisection of dozens of elderly slaves when he was 9-15 years old (coerced, but it's still worth mentioning, I think)
• Sold his soul for the power to escape slavery and immediately (albeit accidentally) killed every other slave at the manor as well as his master and most of said master's immediate family
• Worked for the Bellflower Network leading enslaved halflings to freedom, but he would also occasionally murder his charges and claim their souls for hell. (Happened every couple of years for decades)
• Has murdered children because "power corrupts," and he thinks children raised as nobility are already irredeemably corrupted by the time they can talk.
• Wiped out an entire noble family (including the kids) in a vengeful rampage over what one branch (and really one member of that branch) did to him. (Although, to be fair, he spared his target's infant son because it probably wasn't "too late" for him.)
• Left a naked, screaming baby on the ground on the edge of a rural village in the middle of the night because he didn't to be there when people got up to see what was going on.
• Dug up corpses to sell to Kaer Maga's less reputable necromancers for his first job.
• Made a lateral career move from graverobber to "cheap assassin for all your affair busting and inheritance stealing needs"
• Got good enough at assassinating that he could get away with killing rich folks and looting their corpses/manors/stagecoaches, so he didn't need jobs anymore.
• Broke into Theo's house after escaping Dottari custody because he needed a place to lie low. Giliys proceeded to attempt to kill Theo, but was already badly injured so he tripped over nothing, landed on his dagger, hit his head, and passed out.
• Acts like an asshole partly to alienate people because his pact makes him dangerous, but mostly because he tends to latch onto anyone who shows him a shred of common decency with an almost frightening intensity and devotion, which has resulted in him being severely let down when he latched onto people who didn't deserve (or want) his loyalty.
• Always thinks of his patron as being female despite his patron not having a physical voice, never revealing its physical appearance to him, never specifying pronouns, and never indicating that it has any gender at all (it doesn't).
• Categorically does not trust tallfolk.
* (Recent retcon of the story of how Theo and Giliys became parents together) adopted Mayhew and Harper without consulting Theo. He convinced himself Theo wouldn't mind because he would be so happy to be a dad again and so proud of Giliys for being ready to take this step.
• Accidentally forced Theo to take over parenting duties after they broke up (AGAIN) because Theo was adamant that he could not be a dad again. Turns out Giliys wasn't actually ready to be a single dad, and it escalated into an emergency.
• Yes, they do end up in couple's therapy, how did you know?
• Goes to hell to rescue the souls he damned for his patron. Which sounds unproblematic until you realize that he did this on impulse without consulting Theo (AGAIN), and Qweck followed him to Hell to make sure he made it back. Meaning Theo was left, without warning, to take care of four kids by himself, without Qweck's help, without the family's primary breadwinner (alchemists make way more than stablehands who moonlight as storytellers), living in an apartment they only had because it was attached to the alchemy shop Giliys was no longer there to run.
• Yes, they do end up in family therapy, how did you know?
But, yeah, other than those very minor hiccups, Giliys is tediously unproblematic.
#pwotr pals#ask game#oc: giliys#thanks for the ask!#god their relationship is a roller coaster#honestly need to think more about how all the kids react to the “disappearing for a year” thing#genuinely not sure if Mayhew would ever forgive him#kid's an empath#so he FELT how Giliys's rashness affected everyone in the family#including Theo#who was able to hide what a wreck he was from the other kids#but not Mayhew#anyway thanks! I genuinely didn't realize how impulsive Giliys is until I put all his fuckups in one place
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In one interview MPG says he plays sir with just enough likability to keep people tuning weekly and it made me laugh bc one glance at social media proves that once fans saw MPG they were sat for this show regardless of sir’s intentions. Not all but a significant amount for sure. I’m in the camp of yuck-go-away (Gabi being a kid when he took her nullifies any shipping on my part plus there’s so much raw hatred on her part I just can’t see the leap to sexy) but that being said I do think that this show being on network tv makes for an interesting angle because they have to find ways to acknowledge and work around the inherent darkness of the premise which makes for an intriguing story. On the other hand it sometimes comes off a bit too sanitized because of that. The victims are always nice or nice enough, and the villains are mild or basically caricatures. The writing just isn’t there with the missing peoples aspect of the show (honestly it isn’t really there with Gabi and the basement either but I’m more willing to forgive that since it makes for believable messiness) and I hate it because it’s an important issue. Idk. It’s not like I want some misery fest but it’s all so…tidy and dull. Also the emphasis on Lacey and Gabi’s friendship falls flat because they’ve literally never given besties. I buy Margaret and Gabi way more even.
I honestly came into this show for MPG (I had just rewatched Pitch for the 5th time in 2 weeks when I learned it existed) and I’ve been a villain lover since watching Gargoyles at 6 years old (David Xanatos, the man that you are…) so there’s very little he could do that would be beyond the pale for me. A friend noted that they honestly wish he was a little worse because it seems like the show is afraid to have him go too far, which is interesting when they’ve made clear that they have no intention of redeeming him. If he’s beyond redemption, why does it matter that he never goes too far? Just go all in on him being an irredeemable bastard.
I’ve personally made the leap to sexy because how fucky the power dynamics are. She was a child and he was in control. That’s not sexy for me, that makes my skin crawl. But now she’s an adult and she has him at her mercy but he’s shown time and again that he’s not helpless. It’s not a straightforward abuse of power like it would have been when she was 16. They’re not equals now but they’re closer to it. The idea of consent between the two of them would be deeply fraught and that makes the wheels in my brain start turning: what would that dynamic look like? How would it change what they have now? Would it change it? Would it change how he sees her, her purity? I don’t ship it in a “I want them to end up together and in love” sort of way; I want to take a baseball bat to a hornets’ nest just to see what will happen.
I will agree that the writing overall is fairly weak. It seems almost like it’s just checking boxes at some points. I would like to see some sort of overarching case keep coming up in season 2 because Tony’s case wrapped up way too quickly and they haven’t done enough with the idea of Annie to make it compelling. Yet. I think it could get better but it needs to get there quickly.
I like the relationship between Gabi and Lacey but I would like it more if they would acknowledge that Gabi is unintentionally an obstacle to Lacey’s healing. Being around Gabi is impeding Lacey’s ability to move on because she is this big sister figure that Lacey has shaped her life around but that means that her life is shaped around someone intrinsically tied to her trauma. We see Margaret mired in her fear and grief, trapped in that bus station, but there’s much less acknowledgement that Lacey is mired too, held in place by her love for Gabi. I really like the actor and don’t want to see her go but for the character? Lacey, baby, run.
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Throwing in my two cents bc why not
A couple points I want to address: Leona's feelings toward women, how he'd treat his s/o
Wrote this at 3 in the morning so if it doesn't make sense, you know why. Might revisit it after I get some sleep
1. Leona's feelings toward women
I've seen people argue about whether Leona truly respects women or if he's just intimidated by them, ie. whether his compliance/conduct with women is out of a sense of fear. I'd call it true respect.
Leona is both incredibly powerful and the second prince of the savannah. The only women he'd feel obligated to treat well are the queen and his mother. What purpose would it serve him to even acknowledge that the women of the savannah don't "need men fawning over them" or that they comprise over half of the royal guard? Even if the entire palace thought he was a dick (and they didn’t like him all that much to begin with anyway), even if the entirety of the royal guard decided they wouldn't protect him, he has King's Roar. That spell alone would protect him from most physical threats, which the royal guard would be in charge of handling, which leaves the guard somewhat redundant (these physical threats include the guards themselves as well).
As for other servants, such as cleaning staff or poison testers, he doesn't have much to fear there either. As second prince, it wouldn't be too unreasonable for him to request that only men touched his things or tested his food. This would remove any obligation to treat women in those positions with excessive reverence and leave him free to be his dickish self to the female staff if he so chose.
This negates the "necessity" of treating women as a whole better than he feels they deserve. And Leona's not known for doing things that he deems unnecessary. Every time he stresses that women are to be respected, that they can hold their own, that they don't need men to look after them, that's not him trying to protect his own hide from their wrath. That's him acknowledging women's strength, both within his own society and out of it (Rosaria)
2. How he'd treat his s/o
I've also seen interpretations that suggest he'd be bad to his s/o, or even go so far as to be abusive to them. Which I can't wrap my head around tbh
He's mean, but not careless. I don't see him going through with all that goes into starting and maintaining a relationship unless he actually wanted one. Even if he wanted to manipulate someone, he wouldn't have to date them to do it (unless they were also royalty ig). He's a man that thinks like a leader, and thus has a number of methods to get what he wants that require less effort. One such way is bribery, which he teaches to Ruggie in Ruggie's dorm ssr. It's not like there's many limits to how much he can bribe someone either, considering he probably wouldn't even know where to find a price tag.
In short, because there's little to no benefit in entering a relationship, he wouldn't do it unless he actually wanted it. Taking himself off the market and cutting off any possibility of using romance as a tool on anyone else, having people know and see his s/o as a potential weak spot, risking the royal family finding out, it's all too much of a hassle for him unless he really cared for his s/o and wanted that relationship.
Regardless of gender, for Leona to put in so much effort and risk so many headaches for any small reason would be thoughtless of him. And Leona Kingscholar is not a thoughtless man. He wouldn't enter a relationship with anyone unless he wanted to, and he wouldn't put in all the work that entails just to toss it all away by being bad to his s/o.
As for the interpretation of him being violent toward his s/o? Shame on you, both for the insult to his character and your poor reading comprehension. He's the laziest man alive. He'd hardly move at all if breathing didn't require it. Not only that, but so many voice lines go along the lines of "I don't need brute force to get what I want," "I prefer using my head anyway," "it feels good to watch a plan fall into place." You saw all this and thought he'd turn to violence as anything but a last resort?
TLDR; Leona is a dick, but all his actions have thought behind them. He respects women and his s/o bc he wants to, not out of fear or any other reason. Some of you just want to paint him as careless brute
#missy speaks#long post#twisted wonderland#leona kingscholar#twst leona#rant#anyway working on a leona and a jamil fic#they're slow going but I'll post them eventually
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Episode 26 - Live Alive
Looking forward to all of the exciting ways Haruhi's masterpiece is sure to challenge the soul and change the very way we think about life and junk.
YUKI NO THAT IS NOT HOW YOU DO FORTUNE TELLING
I love that she managed to rope Yuki in but neither Itsuki nor Mikuru were willing to leave their posts for whatever this is now.
And by "whatever this is", I apparently mean Haruhi blowing the fucking roof off.
Sure, this can fucking rule out of nowhere, that's fine.
"You were there. I was there. And everyone else had vanished."
Yo, is this song about the world-cramping!?
I mean. Not specifically. This song is about Kyon.
Like. It's literally "God Bless the Two of Us". Couldn't be more on-the-nose if it tried.
Haruhi explains what this actually is and that makes sense.
She agreed to pitch in with Yuki because the band needed two temporary members. But God Bless still fills me with... feelings.
Kyon said something earlier in this episode.
Kyon doesn't like Haruhi. It's been made pretty clear throughout this show that this attraction is one-sided. Kyon is in a predicament, and it's that he's the object of desire from someone he cannot simply shut down and walk away from because they have power over him.
This isn't a scenario we get to see male characters cast in very often.
And it's affecting his life. He can't even try to have an actual love life because his abuser might find out. This is a valid concern; She tried to delete the universe last time he got too friendly with another woman.
And now... she's up there pouring her heart and soul into music for a man who doesn't love her. Who can't love her under these conditions. It is not actually possible for Haruhi and Kyon to have a respectful, mutually consensual romance.
Because even if Kyon agrees to be with her, it's impossible to distinguish if he means it or if he's just saying it so she won't erase the universe.
And even if Kyon means it, there's no way to know if he actually feels that way or if Haruhi made him feel that way.
This relationship that Haruhi wants so badly is doomed. It was dead-on-arrival from the moment she grabbed his tie and forced him to come with her. But she's young. And stupid. And she can't see past herself.
I am fucking crying. God, Haruhi, why does everything you do connect so hard?
It's anime so I'm sure he's going to fall in love and live happily ever after or whatever but that's not how this goes. We already had a startling, unexpected, but much deserved confrontation over the way she treats Mikuru. But the hardest lesson? The one she is not prepared for, and the other one she most desperately needs?
Is that she needs to let him go.
Someone who's locked in a (metaphorical) cage will never love you.
#the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya#drake watches haruhi suzumiya#haruhi suzumiya#haruhi is my reflection#kyon
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There’s Just No One Like You Pt. 2
F!ReaderXTaiju Shiba
PART ONE PART THREE
Yoooo who’s ready for part two of your Taiju adventures?
I am sorry this took so long, and thank you all for your patience! I rewrote the ending like, three times because it was pissing me off lul. Also adult life is lame and you have to do dumb shit that gets in the way of smut writing. And then after years of not getting sick I got a cold that knocked my ass out for 3 solid days. So it goes. L
Anyway, this part revolves around your reunion with Taiju (hence the name Reunion har har). It’s set during highschool, after he became the leader of the Black Dragons but before Mikey beat his ass. I imagine here he is not quite yet at his most powerful, but he’s well on his way there. Also, I just kinda assumed he lives alone with Hakkai and Yuzuha, so that’s how it is in this fic.
Though there isn’t intense explicit sex, there is definitely heavy petting and NSFW themes, mentions, and moments. So please 18+ only for this one gang.
I had a lot of fun writing this one! There will definitely be a part three and most likely a part four. I haven’t yet decided if I want to split up the final part, but that is what I am leaning towards. Like this one, it probs won’t be out for a while, so please be advised. I have some Baki fics in the work I want to get out too, so those will most likely come first.
Thank you for reading!!! (I hope the editing is OK I did most of that while under the weather lul)
Warnings: NSFW, unhealthy relationships, ducob/noncon, yandere themes, extremely heavy petting (but no actual penetration), cry baby reader, virgin reader, obsession, abuse, language, gas lighting, bullying, choking, slight dacryphilia, Taiju just generally being a scary mf.
Tags: @serenity-loves-red @caramelcandescence @mochiswifey @skyoumi
Part 2. Reunion
“I’m telling you, you need to see this guy!”
“Uh huh,” Your response was lackluster in hopes that the friend beside you would finally pick up on your disinterest. You loved her, but her incessant chirping in your ear about this new guy while you were trying to focus on finishing an assignment was driving you to the point of insanity. He was all she had talked about since you had seen her today, and with the way she was going, there was no end in sight to the scandalous rumors she wanted to dump upon you.
“What do you mean ‘uh huh’,” Tomoko pouted, “(Name) this guy is like, the talk of the school right now! Haven’t you been listening to me? Rumor has it he’s been held back a year for failing the year prior because he was in and out of juvey AND he’s the head of some kind of local gang or something. So not only is he a mysterious transfer student, but he’s also like, a total badass!”
“Sounds like a great person,” you mumbled sarcastically, shuffling through various papers, “really top tier crush you got there Tomo.”
“It’s not a crush,” she bumped her shoulder against you. “I’m just intrigued, is all. I mean, our school is so boring normally. Barely anything happens! This rebellious transfer student may just turn all that on its head.” She hummed, shooting you a coy look, “But maybe something is forming in my heart, when I caught a glimpse of him earlier I couldn’t help but think he IS rather cute~”
You playfully rolled your eyes at your friend, shaking your head. Tomoko and you were nearly opposites, where she liked to have a foot in everything and keep up with all the latest happenings, you much preferred keeping a low profile and stayed in your lane. You did your best to avoid the gossip traps Tomoko so loved to fling herself into, finding yourself perfectly content living those scandals out vicariously through your friend.
You laughed, “You are something else you know that? What would you even do with a bad boy boyfriend miss ‘I always go to bed by 9pm and can barely say a curse word without getting flustered’?”
She snorted, “Oh, you’re one to talk! You can hardly look a handsome guy in the face without wanting to run and hide!”
“Look, I’m not the one who is-“
“QUIET,” your teacher’s voice boomed, effectively ending your playful banter, “Everyone, eyes up here! We have a new face to introduce to the crowd.”
The class’s attentions were brought to the front of the room, your jovial demeanor instantly curtailed as you took in the boy who stood beside your teacher. Honestly, man may have been a better word for him, as he dwarfed your teacher in both stature and mass. His height alone was enough to quiet the rambunctious crowd before him, the overwhelming presence he exuded commanding everyone’s instant respect. Oozing ‘tall dark and handsome’, it was impossible not to take note of how attractive he was. His unruly hair cascaded around his face, the varying shades of blue reminding you of waves crashing against a craggy beach. The tendrils framed his severe, scowling countenance, his judgmental stare boring down on the people around him made him appear as if he were searching them for something and was disappointed by what he found. His hands were stuffed in his uniform pockets, head tilted back to amplify the feeling that you were all beneath him.
The stranger’s eyes languidly swept over the class, angular face looking even sharper in the harsh fluorescent lights of the classroom. As you watched his steady inspection of your classmates, you couldn’t help the small shiver that traveled down your spine. In every regard, this man was menacing. (But you had to admit, you were impressed that someone could look so utterly bored and pissed off at the same time, at a class introduction no less.)
“This is Taiju Shiba,” your teacher proceeded. You noticed he stood a bit further from Taiju than he normally did when introducing someone, his eyes shooting the taller boy a quick, leery glance. What did it say for this new face that even your teacher was weary of his presence? “Please make sure to welcome him and assist him if he needs any help.”
A murmur of unenthused recognition spread through your class. The welcome seemed to amuse Taiju, a hint of a smirk ghosting his lips at his reception.
“Oh my god, that’s him!” Tomoko’s voice chimed in, slapping at your arm repeatedly in her excitement. Her floundering went barely acknowledged however, as you found yourself unable to focus on anything but Taiju.
Where had you heard that name before? It sounded so familiar, but you were sure you had never interacted with this man previously. Why would you of? Just one glance and you could clearly see he was a poster child for the delinquents of the world, a group of people you tried at all costs to avoid. The bullying you suffered at their hands in your childhood enough to give you lifelong PTSD. From the looks of him, this person was definitely not anyone you would have any kind of pleasant history with, or even any history at all.
Taiju must have caught Tomoko’s voice over the sound of the crowd, as his eyes were soon to hone in and lock onto yours. Pure ice ran through your veins as he took you in, silted yellow eyes reminiscent of a cat that had just cornered a mouse. He held your gaze with an intensity he spared the rest of the class, a pointed look of surprise flashing across his features that caused his dramatic brow to loosen. You hated that you felt a warmth spread across your cheeks, instant embarrassment hitting you like a ton of bricks as other classmates caught on to his interest in you, shooting you questioning looks of their own.
His lips curled, baring his teeth in what you assumed was his attempt at a smile. You shuddered as his eyes flicked you up and down, openly ogling you in front of the rest of the class. Maybe your mind was playing tricks, but you swore you heard growl come from his direction.
As if being broken from a curse, you finally found the strength to avert your gaze, suddenly becoming very interested in editing the assignment on the desk before you.
“Why don’t you take a seat over there in the corner, there’s an open spot behind (Name)-san.”
Your breath hitched. If there was ever a moment you wanted the earth to eat you alive, this may be it.
“(Name) raise your hand please so Taiju knows where to go.”
Weakly, you raised your arm above your head. Briefly you made eye contact, but were quick to glance away when noting his unnerving smile had grown. You snuck a peek at your friend, who reciprocated with the same dismayed expression you were donning. It made sense he would sit behind you, it was the only seat that was unoccupied, but that didn’t mean you had to be thrilled about it.
Without further interruption, the man sauntered towards his awaiting desk. Your heart pounded as he made a brief stop next to you. Ignoring his stately figure the best you could, you bore holes into the desk before you. If you tried hard enough, maybe you could convince him that you were just some boring school girl overly focused on her studies, not someone worthy of directing any ire or attention. If you were lucky, it would work (however you knew you wouldn’t be so lucky with Tomoko, who most assuredly was sucking up this moment like a sponge to tease you later).
A sudden tap on your desk made you jerk. His knuckles grazed the wooden surface, coming suspiciously close to brushing against your arm. You sat like a statue, a cold sweat pooling on the back of your neck at the proximity of his body. You prayed to every god imaginable that he would get bored of your lack of response and take his seat, hopefully finding you just boring enough that he would leave you alone indefinitely. Your eyes darted to his hand as it crept closer and closer, debating if he would actually go so far as to touch you or not, and if he did, how you should respond.
“Is there a problem, Shiba-san?”
You released the breath you were holding when Taiju withdrew his hand, turning his body in the slightest to glance at the teacher.
“No teach,” His voice drawled. He turned back around, taking the last few strides to his awaiting desk, “Not at all.”
With an exasperated sigh, your teacher shot you a look that almost seemed apologetic before they continued. “Well, now that we are all settled, let’s proceed with class.”
Focusing on learning turned out being easier said than done, what with the feeling of his eyes drilling a hole into the back of your skull. Tomoko nudged your foot a few times to get your attention, shooting questioning glances from Taiju to you. You did your best to nonverbally communicate you had no idea why he was picking on you either, but for your sanity you hoped it would not be a recurring ordeal.
The rest of class dragged by with it being next to impossible to focus on anything the teacher was saying. With Taiju’s stifling presence looming behind you, you felt suffocated. Wriggling in your seat, finding a moment of comfort under his scrutiny was simply out of the question. You could practically feel the burn of his eyes on every move you made, but you were far too unnerved by him to confront him about it. All you had to do was make it through this class and then maybe you could meet up with the teacher later and see if they could put you and Tomoko somewhere else, preferably on the other side of the room.
After what felt like a century, class ended. You had long since bundled up your belongings, ready to bolt as soon as you were able. This was the last class of the day, and the sooner you could get out and away from the constricting aura that was smothering you from behind, the better.
However, fate never seemed to have your best interests in mind. Before you could even entertain the thought of a speedy escape, you heard a deep voice call out behind you.
“(Name).”
‘Great, he’s already remembered my name.’ You flinched, considering your options. Should you just pretend you didn’t hear him? That seemed like a plausible excuse, it was pretty noisy now that class had let up.
“Hey,” he spoke again, this time kicking the leg of your chair enough to jostle you, “(Name), you suddenly deaf or something?”
You gritted your teeth, slowly pivoting around until you were looking at Taiju. He was sprawled out in his chair, obviously in no real hurry to leave for the day like the rest of the class. His feet were encroaching into your personal space, one foot still firmly planted on your chair keeping you from too much movement. His golden eyes, though still intense, had softened considerably as he stared back at you. His wolfish grin had faded too, his face relaxing into a much calmer state. This threw you off. If this man was preparing to verbally assault you, why did he seem so collected now?
“Can I help you?” Your voice came out far less assured than you wanted it to. You frowned as his jaw tightened after the question, displeasure once more twisting his face into a look of cruelty. Your first time speaking to him and somehow you already managed to piss him off.
He snorted, lips curling in a sneer. “Really? That’s all you have to say after so many years apart?”
“What???” Tomoko beat you to the punch, drawing both your and Taiju’s attention. A pink tinge came to her cheeks after her exclamation, and she cleared her throat before continuing, “I’m sorry it’s just… (Name), you know Taiju-san?” Face agog and expression borderline hurt, she eagerly waited for you to spill the details.
The truth was you were just as shocked at his words as she was.
Your gaze shifted back to Taiju, who had since turned his focus back to you. You wracked your brain for any recollection but came up blank, his expectant gaze causing anxiety to mount within you. Just what was he looking for here? Of course you didn’t know him! You come from two completely different walks of life.
“I’m very sorry,” you finally spoke, flicking your gaze between the two, “I think you have the wrong person. I don’t think I’ve ever met you before…?”
Your voice trailed off, growing considerably meeker under Taiju’s study. His frown had become so deeply etched into his face you were concerned it may become stuck that way. His eyebrow twitched, a prominent vein in his forehead bulging in vexation.
“Really, you don’t remember when we were kids? We went to school together, I found you on that playground? None of that rings any bells?”
There was a definite edge to his voice, but you also detected a hint of wistfulness. It was accompanied by a waver in his eyes that if you weren’t mistaken, seemed almost pained. You nibbled at your bottom lip, feeling even worse than you had previously.
“I-I don’t… I’m really sorry, I honestly think you are mistaken-“
“I’m NOT,” abruptly he stood, rattling the furniture around him as his body shoved it askew. “How can you not remember me? Is this some sort of fucking joke, are you tryin’ to piss me off?”
You winced at his words. Feeling cornered, you pushed yourself as far into your desk as you could. At his full height, he stared down at you in your chair, indignation radiating off of him in waves. Remaining plastered to your seat, you found yourself unable to look away from the angered man behind you. Your sweaty, trembling hands gripped the back of your chair so tightly you were losing circulation, and despite still being seated, you felt like you may topple over any second. How did you get in this position? What exactly did you do to set this man off?
Alerted by the commotion, your teacher approached the three of you. His voice had vibrato, but his stance seemed hesitant.
“Shiba-san, what seems to be the issue here?”
Taiju shot your hapless teacher a glare that would make anyone falter, and guilt started to overtake you as the scene escalated. You hated being targeted, but felt even worse dragging people into your messes. You knew you should say something to calm everyone down, maybe even lie and remark that you did remember Taiju just to chill him out, but you hesitated. You had always been a horrible actor, and something told you that messing up now would just make things much worse.
Feeling a hand wrap around your wrist, your eyes trailed the reassuring grasp back to Tomoko. As you made eye contact, her head bobbed towards you in comforting affirmation.
“We’re sorry,” she laughed, bowing lightly to your teacher as she pulled you to your feet, “(Name) and I were joking around and we happened to bump into his desk on accident, I think it messed up something he was writing? It was completely our bad.”
Once you were standing beside her, she gave you a small nudge to help back up her statement.
“S-she’s right,” you bowed deeply in Taiju’s direction, “I’m very sorry Taiju-san. We’ll be more mindful next time.”
“Yeah,” you heard Taiju’s gruff voice reply despondently, “you SHOULD be more mindful next time.”
Tomoko tugged at you forcibly, momentarily throwing you off balance. “Again, sorry for the trouble, but we are running a bit behind now to meet up with some friends. We won’t have any problems in the future, promise!”
You were more or less out the door when you heard your teacher letting out a disgruntled sigh.
“As long as everyone is keeping the peace, I suppose.”
~
“What the hell was that about?!”
Tomoko wheezed out in between panted breaths. After you had left the classroom, she dragged you behind her in a mad sprint to leave the school premises, neither of you completely stopping until you were at least two blocks away. Exhausted, you both slumped yourselves down against some beat-up vending machines that stood on the outskirts of a small park.
“No idea,” you panted, sweaty head knocking against the cool glass of the drink machine, “but despite my best efforts, I am most definitely a target now.”
Your friend sidled up next to you, “You really don’t know him? Cause he sure as hell seems to know you,” Tomoko laughed, “Who’s the one with the bad boy boyfriend now, huh?”
You nudged her with your knee, shooting her an unamused expression. “I seriously have no clue what that was all about,” you sighed heavily, “I’m pretty sure I would remember if that guy was ever in my life or not.”
Tomoko hummed in contemplation, “True, he does seem pretty memorable… But with the way he was speaking it sounded like he might have known you from when you were kids, so maybe it’s just been so long that you forgot? I know I personally have the memory of a goldfish, so maybe being stuck with ME for so longs has rubbed off on you in the worst ways.”
You turned to your friend, “If both our memories go, does that mean we’ll forget about each other and I will be free of the shackles of this relationship?”
Tomoko threw her head back in a laugh, “HAH! You wish! You are stuck with me till the end, memories or not! It was in the fine print of our friendship agreement we signed, remember?”
“Hmm, don’t recall. Must be because my memories have become so cloudy…” You replied as seriously as you could, fighting the grin that threatened engulfing your face.
“How convenient,” Tomoko laughed again, turning her focus back towards the scenery ahead of you. “All joking aside, there may be a possibility you just forgot him. People are weird. Someone could be the most important person in your life one day and then completely gone by the next. When that happens, no matter how sad it may seem, it’s only natural for the memory of them to fade along with them, right?”
You sighed, slumping deeper against the vending machine. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
For the first time since you arrived here, you truly took in your surroundings for the first time. Though not terribly far from the school, you and Tomoko had gone a surprising distance and ended up in an area you had not ventured to in quite some time, and for obvious reasons.
Even years later, glancing at that dilapidated, sun worn little play house in the corner of this old park sent chills through you. The years had not been kind to it, and you wondered why of all the play equipment in the park that was the one they decided to keep. The entire place had been renovated in recent years and nearly everything besides the plant life had been replaced with something newer and nicer. Yet the playhouse of your nightmares still stood, taunting you to recall the memories you buried deepest within yourself.
You suppressed a shudder. In the darkest corner of your mind you could still hear your pursuer’s sneers through its thin walls, recalling the paralyzing fear you felt as they gained on you, clutching your body so hard your bones ached.
It had been a long time since you let your mind wander to that moment, so long it felt like an entire lifetime had passed. You are by no means a fighter now, but back then you really were a sitting duck, weren’t you? As your mind was further consumed by the ghosts of the past you cringed for your younger self. There were what, three or four boys gaining on you at that point? All of them were in your grade school class and none of them had any qualms over beating on the little new girl, even enjoying your torment. You recalled the leader of their posse was especially vile. He was relentless, refusing to stop until fat tears flooded down your ruddy cheeks. When he was successful in this, he would fling all manner of curses at you in his horrible, grating voice, just to add insult to injury. And then, he would laugh and laugh and laugh, finding your pain and misery absolutely hilarious, until he finally got bored and granted you reprieve for the day.
The day you ended up in this park was a particularly unlucky moment, one little miscalculation and you ended up with the whole herd after you. You didn’t know if you wanted to laugh or cry replaying the fuzzy memory of the slap-stick chase scene in your brain, remembering how ungracefully you skittered into that little house made you shake your head slightly in shame.
The more you mused on it, the more your suppressed memories came to light. It was such a jarring moment from your childhood, but how did it end? You did eventually get out of there unharmed, but how? You sure as hell didn’t fight off those kids on your own…
Surging up from the deepest corners of your mind, it came to you in such a brilliant, violent onslaught that you were left momentarily breathless. Your body perked up as a memory surfaced to the forefront of your brain, one that had long since been buried.
The door being kicked open and the boy that followed. His messy hair, sharp eyes, tall stature, all now displayed in crystal clarity through the visions of your past. Even in his youth his strength was unparalleled, made evident by how easily he beat back your pursuers, returning to your company covered in their blood and grime. At that time, who would have imagined he would become your most cherished friend and trusted companion throughout those childhood days? After he saved you that day, he cemented himself as your own personal hero. How could you forget him?
How could you ever forget Taiju Shiba?
“Oh my god,” the words tumbled from your lips in a hoarse whisper. Dragging yourself to your feet, you were overcome by your realization. You wavered where you stood, mind and body fuzzy from a mixture of sudden movement and the clarity of remembrance.
“What? What is it?” Tomoko was by your side in an instant, grabbing your arm to steady you. There was concern in her voice as she continued, “Are you OK, you look a little wobbly?”
Your eyes darted to Tomoko, snapping you back to reality. Taking a few seconds to compose yourself, you shot her the most convincing smile you could muster.
“Oh um, I just realized I left all my stuff back in the classroom,” you responded sheepishly, not wanting Tomoko to catch on to your realization quite yet. It wasn’t as if you were lying, you did leave so quickly all your belongings had been abandoned back at school, but you also knew how Tomoko could be. As much as you loved her, you needed the time to process this actualization on your own without being hounded by the incessant questioning you were sure would follow your revelation.
“All my homework is still back in the classroom, including a project I really need to finish tonight,” you straightened yourself out, breaking from Tomoko’s hold. Brushing your skirt off, you looked back her way, “I need to go get it before they lock up for the night.”
Tomoko frowned, lightly slapping her palm against her forehead, “Ah, I am so sorry! That was totally my fault! I dragged you away without even thinking about that!” She picked up her own school bag, adjusting it on her shoulder as she took a step your way.
“I’ll come with you.”
“No,” you grimaced at how firm and fast you replied, noting the confusion in your friend’s eyes. “Sorry, it’s just you were telling me earlier that you were really behind on that book report, the one that’s due in two days? If you want to hang out later you better go get working on that.”
You were relieved when her face softened. She sighed dramatically, “As usual, you are right. I guess it’s time to face the music.”
She began her departure towards her home, waving at you over her shoulder as she walked. “I really do feel bad though, so next time we go out it’s my treat!”
You smiled, returning the wave, “I’ll hold you to that.”
~
You took your time on the trek back to the school, losing yourself in your thoughts along the way. It was hard to come to terms with the fact that the fierce man in your class was once your number one companion, but the more you compared the past and present in your head the more you wanted to kick yourself for not recognizing him sooner. He looked nearly the same, just much bigger and more mature. In your years apart he had definitely grown from that surly little boy you held so dear to a man who was not to be trifled with. He seemed so adult now that thinking back on the way his eyes bore into you in the classroom, the weight of his presence as he stood so closely beside you, it made your face burn. Had you changed as much as he had? Sure you were also bigger now, but compared to him, you couldn’t imagine yourself as being anything but a silly little school girl, weak and nervous.
What else had changed, you wondered? Tomoko had filled you in on the rumors surrounding Taiju, but they weren’t something that you wanted to believe. However now that you had seen him currently, you couldn’t deny he had the swagger of someone who was up to no good, or could even be considered dangerous. Typical people your age didn’t show up to school buff as hell, covered in tattoos, and with a slew of rumors over previous violent exploits following in their wake.
You shook your head to dispel those thoughts. It had been years since you interacted with him, coming to conclusions about his character before even getting the chance to properly speak with him was not something you would allow yourself to do.
That is, if he even wanted to speak with you after you dipped out on him so quickly. Did you even have the courage within you to face him after forgetting your past with him and making such an ass of yourself?
You sighed, stopping to inspect the school yard as you approached the opening gates. A few people still milled about, most finishing up club activities or just getting done with some project or another. You were happy the building wasn’t completely abandoned, but also pleased by the desolation. The last thing you wanted was to run into a classmate who wanted to strike up a conversation while your mind felt like mush.
Still in your fog, you had made it to your classroom. Through the window on the entryway door you could tell the lights had been turned off, the only illumination coming from the rapidly setting sun streaming through widows along the back wall. It was quiet inside, and you breathed a sigh of relief when the handle pushed down, granting you access into the abandoned room.
At least, you thought it was abandoned.
“What do we have here,” a taunting voice startled you, “You lost, sweetheart?”
Before you sat Taiju Shiba, leaning back nonchalantly with his feet propped against your desk. Flanking him stood two equally imposing figures, neither of which you had ever seen before. One was to the right of Taiju, farthest from where you stood. He was the one who addressed you. His body swiveled your way as he gave you a once over, his amusement expressed with a low chuckle. Instinctively you took a small step back as he fully turned your way, which he was quick to take note of with a devious twinkle sparking in his eye. The stranger’s curled black hair cast shadows that obscured his face, but not enough to hide the sly grin that sat upon his lips.
“What the fuck are you doing here,” the blonde to the left of him spoke, his voice sounding much more aggressive than his impassive stare let on. His droopy, cold eyes held firm to you, causing you immense discomfort. You weren’t sure if it was the way the light fell on him or if his face was actually scarred, but based on his general disposition, you were leaning towards the latter. “We’re busy, leave.”
The darker haired boy gave another small laugh, “Damn Inupi, you certainly have a way with people, don’t you? The school is public domain and she’s wearing its uniform, which makes her a student. She has a right to be here,” he shot you a mischievous smile, “It’s just a bit unfortunate that she had to stumble in to this room while we were having an important meeting. Who knows what she could have heard through that door?”
You stiffened, goosebumps peppering your flesh as you now had the two strangers complete attention. The one addressed as Inupi was quick to speak after his cohort. “When you put it that way, maybe she should stay a bit? We’ll make sure she fully understand the importance of whatever she eavesdropped on not leaving this room.”
Before they could continue, Taiju’s firm voice halted them.
“Koko, Inupi,” he commanded. The two boys flinched as their names were spoken, turning a hesitant eye to the man who lounged behind them, “She’s here to see me, you can both leave now.”
A confused moment of silence hung in the air as the two boys looked from each other, to you, back to Taiju. The dark haired boy (or Koko as you had ascertained by process of elimination) was the first to respond.
“Here to see you,” he questioned, staring at you with far more interest now, “During the middle of our meeting? Boss, who is she?”
“My special guest,” Taiju shot back curtly, “Now fuck off.”
So concerned with the new faces, you momentarily forgot that Taiju was even present. However you were grateful when the two boys backed off, immediately deferring to the one who sat ominously behind them.
The boys shot each other one more glance before bowing to Taiju. They made their way to the exit, going around you on either side. You remained still, afraid to so much as breath until they were out of the room. Your eyes trained on the ground as they brushed against you. A small chuckle came from Koko, a shiver passing down your spine at the proximity of his voice.
“Go easy on her boss,” he joked, one foot out the door, “She looks delicate.”
The door clicked softly closed behind them, and you listened as their footsteps and murmured speech faded with their hasty exit.
Now you were alone with Taiju.
He removed his feet from your desk, placing them firmly on the floor. The movement caught your eye, your heart rate quickening as he leaned forward, back hunched as he rested his elbows on his knees. Even crouched he looked big, his solid, unflinching form making you feel a mix of comforted and uneasy. A heady feeling of nostalgia overcame you as his gaze stayed trained on yours, his expression difficult to read. You felt pinned down, unable to move or speak under the crushing weight of his stare and your own emotions.
Before you could stop them, you felt tears pool in your eyes. Suddenly you were seven years old again, standing in that desolate parking lot, staring at the boy who left such a gaping hole in your heart.
“… Taiju,” Your voice cracked when you finally found the will to speak. You took an uncertain step forward, sweaty hand clamped tightly to your side, “I remember. The playground, that day… Those kids were chasing me and you found me in the playhouse. I remember all of it.” Your mind whirred as you contemplated what to say next, the end result coming out in a blubbering jumble. “How could I have… it was awful of me to… I am so sorry-“
You were cut off by your own sobbing, unable to utter another word without a rush of tears. You buried your face in your hands in a poor attempt to mask the intense reaction. You felt ridiculous and confused, wanting to embrace him but knowing it was not your place to. You were more or less strangers now, and after forgetting him, you were sure he was hurt enough that he probably wanted it to remain that way.
Unsure of what else to say, you turned your face away from the man. Your surroundings had become obscured by your tears, the desks and chair encircling you little more than blurred brown blots. You sniffled, rubbing the back of your hand against your tear swelled eyes in a poor attempt to dispel them.
Nearly a decade had passed since you last spoke to him, and it was clear from his overall presentation that things had changed. He had changed. And to be fair, you had too. The reasonable side of you knew that this encounter may as well be considered the first time meeting Taiju, and the differences in your personalities at this point in life may be far too different to reconcile. So on top of making a continual fool of yourself in front of him, from what you saw and experienced thus far, you weren’t even entirely sure you would like the person he became.
It was that realization that made you hurt the most.
But that didn’t stop the desperate feeling that was clawing through your chest, wanting what you once had. Those rose hued days of childhood spent with your best friend, your protector, YOUR Taiju. The admiration and love that you had buried so deep had bubbled up, wracking your body with nervous energy as you stood before him. You wrapped your arms around yourself to quell your quivering, but it did little to get your emotions in check.
You were so caught up in your own thoughts you neglected to hear Taiju move, only becoming aware of his presence as his feet came into view. Your eyes darted up, a sharp intake of breath passing your lips in surprise of how close he had become. This definitely constituted as invading your personal space, his body so close that if you leaned forward even the slightest you were sure to make contact with him. You considered taking a step back to give yourself room to breathe, but the glint his eyes held instantly made you reconsider.
His demeanor was expectant, eyes hungry. There was potency to his stare that made your knees feel weak, his presence domineering as he inspected you. You flinched when he raised a hand, stilling as he gently placed it atop your head.
“You’re still so small,” a taunting smirk tugged at his lips, “How’d you protect yourself while I was away?”
“You scared them enough that they left me alone after you moved away,” you hiccuped, still uncomfortable with his proximity, “I’ve been staying out of trouble since then.”
A deep chuckle rumbled from his chest, his hand languidly petting down your head till it fell to your cheek. His palm was rough as it cradled you, but you were surprised by how delicate his hold was. His fingers barely ghosted your skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
“Such a good girl,” his low voice created an eruption of butterflies in your stomach, “You always have been, haven’t you?”
He paused for a moment, his eye taking on a contemplative look.
“But even good girls can fuck up.”
Your brow furrowed in concern as his grip on you tightened, his hand coming just short of pinching you. Your heart hammered in your chest as he slowly bent down, only stopping once you were eye to eye. His jaw was set and his glare was cold, any hint of amiability far removed.
“You haven’t cheated on me, have you?” The words were sharp as he spoke them. His grip tight on your cheek, keeping your full attention trained his way.
“… Cheated?” Your confusion was palpable, frantic eyes scouring his face for any sign that he may be messing around.
He slammed his free hand behind you, making you jump. His body was now leaned into yours, caging you in between the wall and his broad form.
“Don’t play dumb with me,” he spoke through clenched teeth, “Did you forget about me because you were too busy fucking around with someone else? Is that it?”
The surrealistic nature of the situation astounded you. “I don’t have a boyfriend?” It wasn’t a lie. You had had your share of crushes, sure. You had even had your first kiss, as lackluster as it may have been. But the closest thing you ever had to a true boyfriend was probably Taiju.
Your response only agitated him further, a strained laugh leaving his down turned lips, “Real funny babe, but I don’t remember ever fucking breaking up with you. In fact, I even recall you thanking me for being your boyfriend, or did you forget that too?”
You were dumbfounded by his words, staring at him blankly for a few moments before his eyes began to narrow, denoting that he was awaiting a response.
“I thought…” Your voice trailed off, the ‘you didn’t want me anymore?’ going unsaid. Whatever this situation was turning into, you realized directing any fault back at Taiju was not a good move.
“You thought what?” He spat back. You could feel his patience diminishing by the second.
“You’re right,” your voice came out as little more than a squeak, “we never did end things.” Fear was beginning to course through you when Taiju didn’t back down at your confirmation. If anything, he seemed to grow more heated by the moment. Your mind wandered back to the first time you met, how easily he was able to viciously tear down those other kids, the way he came back to you marked with their blood. If he was capable of that as a child, what damage could he inflict now?
He hummed, “So that makes you my mine,” his hand continued traveling downwards, stopping once it was secured around your neck, “And good girls don’t mess around on their boyfriends, right? My good girl certainly wouldn’t do that to me, would she?”
A feeling of trepidation welled up inside of you. Taiju was wrong. He had no right to threaten you over an agreement made in your youth, and he was the one who ultimately left you in the dust, not the other way around. Whatever twisted narrative he had running though his mind was no fault of your own. However, feeling the gentle press of his fingers on your neck, staring into the manic gleam reflected in his eyes, all you could do was nod your head what little his grip would allow you, hoping the reassurance, no matter how forced, would grant you enough leeway to have him trust you.
“You haven’t left my mind for day,” his voice was deceptively gentle, clashing with the strain your body felt in his grasp, “When I sleep I have dreams about you. When I am around other women I fantasize about you, envisioning the person you had become. My little (name), never once was I not thinking of you.”
With a sharp squeeze, his strong fingers cinched your airway.
“So how the fuck could you forget about me?”
You sputtered in his grasp. Your hands quickly latched to his arm, tugging him in a vain effort to loosen his hold. He studied you for a moment, his expression tumultuous. You couldn’t quite tell if he looked saddened, furious, or just a mixture of the two. Heavy tears rolled down your cheeks as you attempted to croak out his name, your struggle growing more desperate as the second ticked by.
A rogue tear had snaked its way down your cheek before coming to its final resting place atop Taiju’s hand. The barely noticeable sensation seemed to pull him to his senses. He relinquished his grip, a sharp, painful gasp tearing through your lungs with the new found freedom. With little time to recover, his went to grab your chin, forcing his face so close to yours the tips of your noses were brushing.
“Explain it to me baby,” his voice was softer, but it didn’t lose its malicious edge, “because I’m having a real hard time understanding on my own.”
You were shaking so hard you were afraid you were going to collapse. Light headed from the lack of oxygen, your words were punctuated by shaky breaths as you responded. “I didn’t know what to do with myself when you left. When I watched you drive off that last time I felt like a part of me had gone away and was never going to come back.”
Despite the precarious situation, your cheeks burned red at your admission. You were quick to continue, “I-I guess my brain forcing you out was my response to be able to move on.” You looked up at him through teary eyes, “Taiju why didn’t you talk to me? I know you saw me. You were looking right at me and you still just left me behind. I can’t tell you how many nights I stayed up wondering what I did wrong.”
The tail end of sentence came out in little more than a breathy sob as you came to the realization that any blossoming hope for fixing your relationship was down the drain. The boy you used to know had abandoned you, and the man before you was clearly not the same person. Nauseous and embarrassed to be bearing your soul so openly, you squeezed your eyes closed, no longer wanting to face the truth that lay before you.
There were many moves Taiju could have made in this situation. You figured if anything, seeing you blubbering and frightened would just piss him off more, maybe even disgust him. Needless to say you were not expecting the feel of his lips on yours. Your eyes shot open, bewildered by the feel of his supple skin covering your mouth. Uncharacteristically soft at first, it took your brain a few seconds to catch up to what was actually going on. When there was no resistance on you end, Taiju took that as a sign to continue. The gentle caress became needy, eager. His hand released your chin to wrap firmly around the base of your skull, keeping you from any attempts of pulling away. His other arm snaked around your waist, jerking your body flush against his own. His thick arm kept you plastered to him, his hand flipping up your skirt to shamelessly grope your ass.
That broke you from your daze, the severity of the situation you were in hitting you full force. You squirmed in his grasp, but that only made his hold tighter, constricting you to a point of pain. You whimpered when he forced his tongue past your lips, his mouth feverishly working yours until your jaw ached. A groan of approval rumbling from his chest when you, unsure of how else to proceed, weakly began to reciprocate. You were afraid of what he might do if you didn’t.
It was all so invasive, uncomfortable. You felt like you were being devoured.
After some time Taiju broke away, but made no move to distance himself. Panting with eyes blazing, his voice came out husky as he spoke to you.
“I never wanted to leave you behind. Don’t for a second think that was my own choice.” He straightened himself out, pushing your head against his chest. The sound of his rapidly beating heart thrummed in your ear as he cradled you. “I never forgave my father for that. But at that time I was just a kid, powerless to make any moves without his intervention. But know this, no one holds power over me now.”
Silence hung heavy in the air, your neck hurting from a mix of his previous choke hold and the awkward angle he held you in. You remained frozen against him, not wanting to upset the delicate peace that had come over Taiju. He released a breath, his arms loosening their grip on you. When he stepped back, you took the chance to also create some space as well, quickly tidying your uniform and hair to revert back to some semblance of normalcy, pretending that none of this had just occurred.
“You’re forgiven this time, but playing dumb again will award you no favors,” a devilish smirk lit his face, “You’re lucky I love you. That and that you look so fucking hot crying for me like that.”
Any flushing your body experienced increased tenfold with his words. You wanted to run and hide, and this desire must have shown on your face, as it elicited another snicker from Taiju. You made due with folding your arms across your chest, taking in steady breathes to calm your rampant nerves.
This entire evening felt so unreal that there wasn’t a single moment your brain wasn’t plagued with questions. Profoundly concerned with how openly he grabbed you, how quickly he told you he loves you, and how easily he forced himself on you as if he had the right to, you had no idea where to even begin unraveling this moment. You weren’t the same person you once were, how could he so boldly declare these affections to you so soon after seeing you again?
There were voices screaming in the back of your head to run, he wasn’t safe, you should be angry, you should stand up for yourself, none of this is normal, you need to leave now and tell someone what happened.
But the way his eyes held you, a serene sort of affection in them as he smirked down at your flustered form, you couldn’t deny the way it made your stomach flip into a knot of giddiness. Taiju was back. Were you really going to let him slip away again without a proper chance?
He began making his way to the exit door. Propping it open with his foot, he turned back to you and extended his hand.
“Come on,” he called, “We have catching up to do.”
Despite all your reservations you nodded, grabbing on to his outstretched hand.
~
Today was all about being pushed outside your comfort zone.
It was nearing night time now. You had sent a quick call to your parents to let them know you would be home late, concocting a lie that you had gone to Tomo’s house to study and her parents had invited you to stay for dinner. You didn’t’ always see eye to eye with your parents, and you definitely had your disagreements with them, but they loved you and always had your best interests in mind. There was an unpleasant lump in your throat as the fib spilled so easily from your lips, knowing they had no reason not to trust you. You were riddled with guilt as your dad’s pleasant voice told you to have fun and not get up to too much mischief, telling you he loved you before hanging up the call.
If he knew the house you were really headed to was Taiju’s, would he still be so understanding?
At the time of departure, you weren’t sure where Taiju was taking you. You had asked him of course, but only got a snipped ‘don’t worry about it’ in response. The danger of the situation was not lost on you, but you calmed yourself down by reassuring yourself that people had watched you leave the building with Taiju, you had spoken to your family and they were expecting you home tonight, and above all, Taiju himself wouldn’t do anything to truly jeopardize your safety, right?
You had departed with him on the back of his motorcycle, which was a first for you. Apprehensive to even board the bike, you swore Taiju made a point to drive extra recklessly if for no other reason than to feel your arms squeeze him tighter as you held on for dear life. Woozy from the sharp turns and sudden accelerations, by the time you had parked and got off the bike your legs were so unsteady you were concerned you couldn’t make it inside without stumbling.
If there was a word you would attribute to Taiju’s current home it would be ‘affluent’. Your jaw nearly dropped when he walked you to the front of the towering building, its pristine modern walls glistening in the light of the street lamps. Seeing your expression Taiju smirked, assuring you the whole thing wasn’t theirs. The building itself was a condominium of sorts and housed many families, only about a floor of it belonged to the Shiba’s.
“Oh, so only a floor of the fanciest complex in the neighborhood belongs to your family,” you joked nervously, standing behind him as he keyed in the code to unlock the front gate. “How silly of me. Should I expect a butler greeting me at the door?”
Taiju snorted, glancing back at you as he stepped through the now open gateway. “Get your head out of the clouds and come on. I didn’t bring you here to gawk at the architecture.”
You nodded, blushing a bit in embarrassment. Following closely behind Taiju, you couldn’t’ help but marvel the sleek feel of the place. The spotless welcome desk manned by an equally put together looking hostess, a small waiting area off the lobby housing the plushest furniture you had ever seen, the lustrous hallway housing the stairs and elevator. Even the inside of the elevator itself seemed ornate as you traveled up to his floor.
The elevator stopped at its destined floor, dinging as the doors unfolded. You followed after Taiju who walked a few steps further down the hallway.
“Joke aside, this place really is beautiful Taiju,” you spoke as he slid his key in the door, “It makes me happy knowing you and your family can live in such a nice place.” You didn’t want to come off as judgmental, but based on Taiju’s rough exterior and what you remembered of his situation, you were more than a little concerned with what his life at home may be like.
You couldn’t see what expression he wore as he opened the door, but his voice rang clear as he responded to you.
“I know how to take care of my people.”
You only had a moment to muse on the strangeness of his statement, confused as to why he made it seem like he was the main bread winner in their family. Sure, he may have a part time job of some kind, but surely their father was who ran the household and paid the expenses, right? He may even be remarried at this point, this home certainly seemed like a shared expenses kind of deal.
“You’re home early,” an irritated, feminine voice broke your concentration, “I thought you said you’d be out late tonight?”
Taiju grunted, “Plans changed. (Name), come here.”
You followed his order, stepping into the entryway beside him. The interior was just as nice as the rest of the place, smartly furnished and without a thing out of place. The only disturbance in the décor was a rogue bowl with a spoon inside that sat atop the coffee table beside the couch. The cushions of said couch were in bit of disarray as well, obscured by the girl seated on top of them.
She looked about your age, and despite the fact that her face was scrunched into an unamused scowl, you were taken with how lovely she was. Her copper hair was thrown up in a messy bun, and from the look of her comfy attire, she had already donned her sleep wear for the night. Her eyes were impassive as they bore into Taiju, but you noticed she was giving him her undivided attention, posture rigid as she waited for Taiju to continue.
“Introduce yourself to (Name).” He commanded, placing his hand on the small of your back to usher you in front of him.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Her manners seemed forced, her address to you distant as she gave a brief bow. “I’m Yuzuha Shiba, Taiju’s sister.”
Recognition once again flooded your brain. She had grown, but those clear defiant eyes were unmistakable. You bowed back to her, a smile on your lips.
“I’m (First) (Last),” you righted yourself, “um, it’s nice seeing you again…”
She shot you a quizzical look. It made sense that she wouldn’t recognize you. You certainly would have had no recollection of her if not for Taiju sparking your memory. Regardless, it was nice to see her. You always felt bad for how you left things that day, maybe now you could make amends.
“Are you still having trouble getting doll clothes on?”
The look of confusion that knotted her brow eased with the realization.
“Oh my God,” she spoke, getting to her feet, “You’re the girl who helped me on that play date you had at our house! You said (Name), right?”
You laughed softly, slightly ashamed that she was able to remember you so quickly when you had to struggle to remember her family. “Yeah, that’s me! It’s been a long time. I’m surprised you remember me at all.”
Yuzuha returned your laugh, but you noticed there was a hint of melancholy to it. “Well it’s kinda hard to forget someone when they remain a source of conversation in your household for years.” Her eyes shot to Taiju, her expression instantly falling, “I guess he ended up finding you again, huh?”
Before you had the chance to dig deeper into Yuzuha’s reply, you felt Taiju step up beside you. Looking up at his face, you noted he was giving Yuzuha a pointed look, fists starting to form at his side.
Realizing her brother’s discontent, she cleared her throat, “But yeah, it’s good to see you too.” She shifted her weight on her feet, tucking a strand of rogue hair behind her ear. She was doing her best to ignore Taiju’s steady surveillance of her, the intense monitoring making even you uneasy. It seemed the sibling’s relationship hadn’t gotten any better in the past few years.
“So how did you guys meet up anyway,” she sounded mellow, but her nervous ticks continued, “did you bump into each other out on the street or…?”
“We’re in the same class,” you responded cheerily, attempting to alleviate the uncomfortable gloom that had overtaken your arrival, “I feel horrible, I didn’t recognize Taiju at first, even though he recognized me right away. We had a whole conversation and everything before I realized who he was, if you can believe that. ” You smiled at the man in question shyly, before looking back to Yuzuha, “I’m excited to make up lost time with you guys.”
It was your turn to feel uncomfortable as Taiju inched up closer to you, intertwining his long, lithe fingers with your own. Still unused to such blatant physical contact your stomach flipped as he gave your hand a tight squeeze. Yuzuha’s eyes darted to where you connected with her brother, a dismal look displaying on her girlish face.
It would be easy to mistake her look for one of distaste. In the brief time you had seen them interact, Taiju and Yuzuha certainly seemed like oil and water, but maybe you were wrong about their relationship? It was possible she and Taiju had actually grown tightknit and the thought of some random girl coming in to throw off the balance was nothing but an annoyance to her. Perhaps to her you were an eyesore, and those weird comments earlier about you being a point of discussion were jabs at you that went right over your head.
If it weren’t for the fact that her eyes were filled with so much regret, peering over at you as if she were in mourning for you, that you would be inclined to believe that that were the case.
“Where’s Hakkai?”
Taiju’s question perked Yuzuha up. Her fidgeting ended, her body becoming fixed in place.
“He went out for a little bit, said he was gonna grab some dinner with a friend or something.”
She sounded disinterested, almost emotionless in her response. But partnered with her quick change in posture you got the feeling she was covering for him, and with how trained her response came, it was not the first time she had done it either.
Taiju scoffed, “Well isn’t it a shame that we’ll have to end that little pow-wow early? Call him right now and tell him to come home. It’s rude to leave when guests are over.”
His barked words garnered Yuzuha’s glare, “How could he have known (name) was coming over? You didn’t even know she was coming over! Please Taiju, he won’t be much later, can’t we just-“
“That doesn’t fucking matter,” Taiju growled, releasing his hold on you as he took a step towards his sister, “You both come when I call, no questions asked. Now pick up the damn phone, or I’ll-”
Before you could fully think out a response, you lurched forward and gripped his arm to stop him. His head jerked your way, annoyance in his eyes as words began to rush from your mouth.
“It’s OK Taiju, really,” your voice shook, intimidated as you felt the muscles of his arm flex in your grasp, “I came over here to spend time with you, right? It would be nice to have Hakkai here, but you’re the one I really want to be catching up right now with, you know? I’m sure I’ll see Hakkai some other time when I come over to visit you again.”
His ego was stroked just enough by your words that his demeanor calmed. He was pleased by your response, a slight smile displayed on his lips. Seeing him calm soothed you as well. At least for now Yuzuha and Hakkai were out of the hot seat. You were learning very quickly the best way to handle Taiju’s mood swings.
After a moment’s contemplation, Taiju sighed. “Fine, leave him be. But next time, he better be here to show some respect or there will be problems.”
Without further interruption, he locked your hand in his. Tugging you towards him with a huff, he meandered off deeper into their home, pulling you along in tow.
“Don’t fucking bother us.” He called over his shoulder to his sister, who had once more seated herself on the couch. She shot you one last look, one that conveyed equal parts gratitude and apology.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
~
Taiju’s room, though technically an entirely different room now, was a lot like how you recalled it.
It was much larger than his childhood room, comfortably housing a number of furniture pieces and a sizable bed with room to spare. Everything inside were neat and orderly, save for a few misplaced and tussled items here and there. As soon as you both had entered he made a quick pass through, straightening something here, concealing something there. He told you to sit at a small, low table that sat square in the center of the room. You complied, and as you situated yourself he remarked that he would be right back with something to drink.
You were grateful for a moment to yourself as he slipped out of the door, closing it securely behind him. You released a deep sigh, dropping your head till it was resting flat against the table’s smooth surface. Now that it was just you and your thoughts, worry began to rear its ugly head. Was it really a good idea to be here, or were you just letting fuzzy memories of bygone days cloud your better judgement? The way Taiju had treated you since your reunion… It wasn’t healthy and it certainly wasn’t right. You placed your hand gingerly on your neck, cringing at the sting left by his fingers. He had forced himself on you and took advantage of you in a state of vulnerability. Even his own sister was treated like some kind of foot solider he could order around. If he could treat people he says he loves like that, you’d hate to see how he handles the people he hates.
Your heavy eyes fell closed as your mind continued its contemplation's. For him to push his built up affections on you, feelings that had long since lost the innocence of your childhood day, right after seeing him again after years apart… it was too much too soon. He was already demanding so much of you and was treating you as if you belonged to him. The longer you dwelled on these thoughts, the more despondent you became. You missed your old Taiju, you wanted him back. But was any trace of him left inside that man at all?
You steeled your resolve. If Taiju kept treating you this way, you decided you wouldn’t let it go farther than this. The fate of your relationship hinged on this conversation. You clenched the wrinkled fabric of your skirt in your fist, heart pounding in your tight chest. If you knew it was going to be this hard, you almost wished he had stayed a forgotten memory.
“You didn’t fall asleep on me, did you?”
Bolting upright, your cheeks flushed in embarrassment. He scoffed as he sat down a mug of steaming tea before you.
“Damn baby, if you’re bored just say it. I can liven things up whenever you like.”
You shook your head, choosing to ignore the underlying connotations of his comment, “I’m sorry, I was just taking a moment to breathe. It’s been quite the day.”
You laughed nervously, hoping he wouldn’t misconstrue your words. To your relief, he simply nodded, plopping down across from you at the other end of the table. He let out a long sigh, leaning back on one arm while resting the other on his knee. You noticed he seemed much more relaxed in the comfort of his own room. With no one else around, the air of animosity that enveloped him at all times broke, making Taiju much more approachable. Though never truly loosing its edge, his face had calmed too, placidity over taking it that you wouldn’t think was previously possible with Taiju.
“I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad it’s just us.” Your heart fluttered at how soft his voice sounded as he spoke. Momentarily lost in the adoring look he had captured you in, you found yourself smiling back.
Hope began to bloom in your chest. Maybe Taiju wasn’t a lost cause.
“Me too,” you beamed, blowing lightly on your tea before taking a small sip. It was (fav. flavor), your favorite, though you were pretty sure he wouldn’t have known that. Tea was a gross adult drink the last time you two had interacted, soda and sugary juices reigning supreme. Maybe his choice was a lucky guess, or maybe his penchant for reading you hadn’t changed.
“Maybe I should go say hello to your father,” the thought donned as you as you put down your cup. Your arrival was rather abrupt and you didn’t feel right barging into someone’s home so unannounced. “If he’s home, that is. If you guys were planning dinner or something it would be rude to show up unannounced, you know?”
Taiju laughed, “Always so polite, huh? Don’t worry though, dads gone so much that he has his own place. It’s just me, Hakkai, and Yuzuha here.” Taiju took a drink of his own beverage, “I want you to know you can come over whenever and treat this place as your home. You don’t have to be on edge.”
You waved your hand, “Easier said than done, I’d hate to be a bother to you guys,” you smiled, “But I’ll try. Thank you for the warm welcome.”
A beat of time passed before the rest of his words sunk into your brain. “Wait a minute, you guys live here alone?” The incredulity slipped out in your tone, “Are you guys okay? You aren’t… struggling, are you?”
He closed his eyes in consideration. “If you’re worried we can’t afford it, we wouldn’t be here if that were the case. I told you, I take care of my people.”
You gave a hesitant nod, happy he didn’t take offense to your concern, but still surprised by this revelation. Was Mr. Shiba so wealthy he could afford this place for his children, as well as a place on his own? Or were Taiju, Yuzuha, and Hakkai footing the bill on their own? Regardless, it certainly was not a typical family situation.
“How about you,” Taiju spoke up, “You still living in the same place with your family?”
“Yes, I am. Same house not too far from here, actually.”
You were surprised at how fluidly the conversation progressed from there, with no uncomfortable gaps, weird moments of silence, or forced pleasantries. You found it easy to open up to Taiju again as he listened intently to every story you regaled him with. He was an active participant, throwing you questions left and right, taking every answer to heart. It was refreshing, speaking so freely with him without him snapping in response. He seemed content just to be basking in your presence, reveling in the tales you shared of your life from past to current. The only time his face ticked to irritation would be when you would mention any male friends, so to keep the peace you made sure to keep those stories to a minimum.
You, of course, wanted to hear more about Taiju as well. He reciprocated, answering your questions with an aloof attitude, playing himself up whenever you seemed to take a particular interest in something he said. It would get frustrating at points, especially when you found out Taiju was a master of redirection. Any time he mentioned something concerning from his past he was quick to change the subject, directing new questions your way in hopes you would forget. Even if you tried to come back to a previous subject, he’d shoot you a look letting you know it was best to drop it and move on, to which you complied. You were certain he was omitting certain details from you on purpose, probably because he could see how leery you grew when he spoke too much in a certain direction.
One thing was for sure, you were smart enough to piece together that his ‘well-paying and rewarding job’ was probably something you wanted as little information about as possible, and that his two ‘friends’ you met previously probably weren’t just shooting the breeze earlier when you interrupted their meeting.
Despite your concerns for Taiju and his current lifestyle, you spent the conversation in a state of elation. Now that you knew you could freely communicate with him, the future didn’t seem so uncertain. You could continue to grow together, learn about each other, and he would listen to what you had to say and (hopefully) take it to heart.
After some time had passed, your eyes happened to fall upon a clock Taiju had in his room. You heart dropped when you saw the vibrant 12:32AM glaring back at you.
“Oh no,” you mumbled, pointing to the clock in question, “That isn’t right is it?”
He lazily looked back, “Sure is. God, we are really gossiping like old ladies, aren’t we?”
Without responding to him, you grabbed your school bag that was leaning against the table leg. Rummaging through, it took a moment to find your phone at the bottom of all your belongings. Your anxiety spiked when you saw the numerous missed calls and texts from your parents. The most recent text was from Tomoko, and you instinctively pulled it up to read what she had to say.
(12:17pm) From Tomz:
Hey, can u message me when u get this? Ur parents have been blowing me up asking when u r gonna be home. I figured u had a reason for sayin u would be here so I vouched and said time got away from us and u would be home soon. But now I am just worried bcause ur mom text me again saying u aren’t back yet. L Plz let me know u r OK, I’m worried!!!
As you read her words, you gave a lopsided grin. Good ‘ol Tomo, she was always someone you could count on to have your back. You were lucky to have her in your life.
Your fingers flew as you typed out your reply.
(12:37am) From Me:
Thx so much!!! I am soooo srry I’ll call them right away. I’m fine! It’s a long story, I’ll tell you about it later. I owe u something good for this. <3
Directly after you had hit send, Taiju placed his hand over your phone, enveloping the screen.
“Hey,” you said, attempting to pull your phone away from his iron clad grasp, “Come on Taiju, I have to call my parents! I didn’t realize it had gotten this late. They are worried sick.”
“Tell them you’re spending the night.”
You felt as if all your blood had drained from your body when you heard the provocative tone of his voice. You searched his face for any hint of joking, and when you found no hint of play, a shiver shook your body.
He shifted himself around the table, scooting himself until he was directly at your side. In this apprehensive state, you loosened the grip on your phone. Quick to take note of this, he took it entirely in his hand, tossing it off in the corner of the room. Your body trembled harder as you felt him over you. Not quite touching you, yet close enough to feel his heat, his breath fanned against your hair.
“If they come and try to get you, you can tell your mom my kick has become a lot stronger since the last time she met me.”
“Don’t say stuff like that,” you muttered out, “I told them I would be home later, it makes sense they would be upset. I haven’t messaged them since I left the school.”
“They can get over it,” he countered, “Whoever tries to take you from me now is asking to get their ass beat.”
You scoffed, “Taiju, don’t you think that may be a little unreasonable?”
“I don’t. I prayed for this moment nightly, and my prayers were answered today.” His eyes took on a predatory sheen. “God gifted you back into my life. I’m not letting anyone else take you away ever again.”
You gasped when he hooked an arm around you, hoisting the two of you to your feet. He shoved you upright, the sudden action making you unsteady. Using this to his advantage he stalked closer to you, herding you back in the process. It all happened so quickly you had no time for resistance, the back of your legs hitting the side of his bed caused your knees to give way. You tumbled, your back landing against his plush comforter with a soft swoosh. He was quick to crawl over you, loosening his tie in the process.
“Last time you were on my bed we were too little for me to realize the opportunity I had before me,” his lips hovered over your own, expectant and ravenous eyes scouring your face as he savored the moment. “I’m not going to let it slip by me again.”
He crashed into you, lips furiously working yours as he forced his tongue inside. Finding his power too hard to combat, you accepted his kiss, whimpering when his teeth tugged roughly on your bottom lip. He made quick work of his shirt, nearly ripping it from his torso so that his hands could once again find purchase on your body. You squirmed in his feverish touch, whining as his hands groped up your sides, shamelessly kneading and pawing at your thighs, hips, stomach, and breasts in slow succession. He began to unbutton your top as he forced the lower half of his body in between your legs, sinking you down even deeper into his bed. You jolted as he pressed himself against your core, the unmistakable hardness you felt causing you to tremble beneath him.
Your arms flew to his chest, pushing on him in a futile attempt to shove him off of you. You were already distressed by the situation as is, but feeling him grind against you made you realize things were about to get so much worse.
He growled into your throat, knocking your hands aside to prevent what little resistance you displayed. He shimmied out of his pants before impatiently tearing through the last remaining buttons your shirt, your bra the only article now protecting your modesty. Wasting no time, his lips blazed over you, leaving a scorching trail down your neck and chest that left a pleasant burn on your flesh. His hands continued their ministrations, eliciting small gasps with every valley they traveled. Your nerves were slowly waning, trembles of fear turning into quivers of excitement. Though still scared, you couldn’t deny the pleasant pulse that Taiju was coaxing from within you.
His tongue laved over the skin the spilled from the top of your bra, nibbling and sucking his mark into the supple flesh. He flipped up your skirt so that he could press into your further. You whimpered as he rocked against you, getting a feeling for the magnitude of his length and girth. Wetness seeped from you, mingling with the precum that stained through his boxers.
“Do you feel that,” his voice was throaty, “Do you feel how much I want you? Do you know how much I fantasized about making this pretty pussy mine?”
He pulled himself up, needy mouth returning to your swollen lips in a quick kiss. Momentarily parting himself, he looked you square in the eye. His hair fell around his face, curtaining him off from the rest of the world. Only you could see the state he was in. Draped over you, his chest was rapidly rising and falling with ragged breaths. His golden eyes were blown wide, the perfect accent to his flushed face. He darted his tongue out to pass over his bottom lip, giving your disheveled form a drawn out once over. As he simpered down at you, he wore a look of utter intoxication. Caged in, he had you right where he wanted.
“I hate that you were taken from me.” He leaned in closer, “I hate that in that time some dickhead could have touched you, hurt you. I hate that I had to spend years of my fucking life without you by my side.”
“Taiju…” Your voice came out breathy as you stared into his face. You were taken with how handsome he looked in the moment, wild and passionate, ready to snap any moment and devour you whole. Your panic ebbed, leaning into the large hand that made its way to your cheek. He used his thumb to gently skim under your eye, wiping away rogue tears you hadn’t realized that you had shed.
“You’re mine to protect, mine to love, mine to have, and in turn, I’m yours. Do you understand, (name)? You understand that this is where you belong?”
Without awaiting an answer, his lips once more sought your own. The desperation in his voice and in his touches made your previous resolution of standing up to him fly out the window. Your body melted as he held you, kissed you, loved you. You were both drowning in him and being resuscitated by him at the same time. Your brain was no longer making any sense at it warred and screamed about the situation you had caught yourself in. A nagging voice at the back of your mind was blaring that things were moving too fast, that you need to think this through. But right now you didn’t really care about the finer details, choosing instead listen to your heart as it pumped mercilessly in your chest, struggling violently to reach out to Taiju. It wanted him, needed him, and that was the only thing that currently made any sense to you in this heady moment.
“Yes,” you whispered in between kisses, finally working up the courage to truly kiss him back. No one ever made you feel this way like this before, his touches an experience you wanted to carve so deeply into yourself that you would never forget them. “I’m yours.”
“That’s my baby girl,” Taiju purred. He trailed his coarse palm up your thigh, fingers teasing their way up under your skirt. He stopped once he had hooked a finger through the elastic of your panties.
“You think you feel good now,” his voice was shaking with excitement as he started to tug, “Wait until I fill you up. It’s time to make up for all that lost time together.”
Feeling yourself become slowly exposed broke you from your daze. You felt good right now, better than you ever felt with another boy, and you would be lying if you said there wasn’t a large part of you that yearned to continue. But the truth was that this was your first time, and you were incredibly unprepared. You had barely even made it past first base in the past, and while this was all new and exciting, the thought of giving in and the repercussions that could cause was enough to make you feel sick. Even in a lust filled haze, the cons of where this all could lead was enough to clear up your mind.
“Wait,” your hand latched to his, halting his motions, “I-I don’t think I’m ready for that quite yet.”
“What do you mean,” Taiju responded, attempting to coerce you with soft kisses littered on your shoulder and chest, “Of course you are. I’m going to make you feel good baby, trust me. Haven’t you missed me?”
You fought him as he continued to tug, your grip staying firm, “I did miss you, but you’ve already made me feel good and I’m not ready to go that far. Please, stop.”
In response to your plea, Taiju released a deep sigh.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
In a fluid motion, he yanked his hand from your grasp, relocating it to your sopping folds. You mewled when he roughly shoved his fingers against your entrance, taking his time in trailing them up and down the length of you, giving special attention to when he would pass over your bud. More tears sprang to your eyes as you writhed beneath him, doing your best to create distance between the two of you. He had none of it, laughing darkly at your weak escape attempt. A toothy grin overtook his face as he watched your expressions contort under his forced pleasure.
Though you were fighting it, your body nonetheless began to relax under his touch, the slow, sensual glide of his fingers causing a mounting pleasant ache to electrify your body. Once he was satisfied with his work, he removed his hand. He clucked his tongue condescendingly as you bucked your hips up at him, missing the sensation. With his free hand, he latched onto your chin, forcing your lips apart to plunge his digits into your mouth. Your tongue rolled across his fingers, the bitter taste of your own slick assaulting your senses. After he felt you adequately licked them clean, he ripped his hand from your mouth.
“Taste that? That’s your body begging me to fuck your brains out,” he snarled. Gripping your hair he pulled your head up so that you were eye to eye. His other hand, still wet with your saliva, rested itself in a tight hold around your neck.
“So what now? You feel like being a bitch and lying to me again, or are you going to let me have my way? Either way this is ending the same sweetheart, but I can’t say you’ll much enjoy it if you decide to keep being a lying brat.”
Your mind was whirring, overwhelmed with the stimulus and terror. Were you going to be raped? Is that really how your night with Taiju was about to end? Your head was throbbing, your neck was sore, and your heart once again felt as if it were being shattered into a million pieces.
“Please Taiju,” you begged, “I’m not ready for this!” Your cries continued falling on deaf ears, and you were growing more desperate when his hand left your neck, making the descent back to your skirt.
“Please… I love you, I just… I just want my first time with you to be perfect! I want myself to be perfect for you, please… I want you so bad, but I don’t want to rush our time together!”
Your mind had become such a hazy mess that you weren’t quite sure what words you were babbling anymore. Your body that moments prior was vibrating in ecstasy, was now shaking with sobs. You felt disgusting and betrayed lying on Taiju’s bed, half naked and covered in all manner of bodily discharge. You wanted to ball yourself up so tight no one would ever be able to get to you again, but you remained splayed out, open and vulnerable to the man above you. You sniffled, biting down so hard on your bottom lip it split, the tang of blood spilling across your tongue. It was ironic, you thought. In all the ways you had been hurt today you had yet to bleed until you inflicted it upon yourself.
Being so caught up in your emotions, you didn’t realize that Taiju had stopped his assault. It wasn’t until you felt your body being scooped up, arms wrapped around you protectively as he rested your head in the crook of his neck, that you began to quiet yourself. He pressed his cheek to the crown of your head, running his fingers absentmindedly through your hair. You stared at the curving tattoos that ran along his chest, momentarily stunned by what was occurring.
“Idiot,” he spoke, placing a chaste kiss to the top of your head, “You already are perfect for me, that’s why I want you so damn bad. But when you say cute shit like that I can’t help but listen to you.” He grumbled something unintelligible under his breath, releasing another irritated sigh.
“Only you can turn me into fucking sap, you know that?”
You buried yourself deeper against his body to ground yourself, hoping to hide how rattled you were. This was such a close call. He was more than ready to have his way with you whether you wanted to or not, and the whole time you were powerless to stop him.
So why was he being so sweet now?
Why did you feel so comforted in his arms?
You didn’t understand any of this.
“Can I go home?” You choked.
“Yeah, but I’m going to take you,” he remarked, sounding the slightest bit defeated, “Clean yourself up first. I’m sure your parents are already going to bitch at you for this, let’s try not to make it worse.”
You gave a curt nod, and he released you. Scooting from the bed, you wanted nothing more than to get home and get a scalding shower. Maybe if you scrubbed enough, you’d be able to forget the whole night ever happened. The rest of the messy situation could wait till later to sort out.
You had made it to your feet, but before you could take a step forward Taiju’s thick arm draped itself across your shoulder. You stilled, tension gripping your body. He hadn’t changed his mind about letting you go home, had he?
“You better start working on a convincing story now,” his voice was husky in your ear, dripping with barely concealed lust that was enough to reignite your panic. He brushed your hair to one side, placing a lingering open mouthed kiss in the dip of your neck. A shiver rocked you as his lips languidly sucked at your sensitive skin, intent on leaving one final mark.
“Tomorrow I’m not letting you leave. You’re staying the whole night with me.”
His hold was not so tight that you couldn’t pull away, yet you found yourself unable to move. One part of you was begging you to run, get out of this place and sprint down the street without looking back. Once you were in the safety of your own home, he couldn’t get you. Just like with the bullies of your childhood, once you passed the threshold of your house, you were invincible.
But a bigger, bitterer part of you laughed at that naivety. You understood now why Yuzuha had looked at you so forlornly. She knew better than anyone once you were in Taiju’s possession that there was no escaping.
“Yeah,” you were quick to wipe a tear from your eye, taking a steadying breath before you continued.
“I look forward to it.”
#reader x taiju shiba#taiju shiba x y/n#taiju shiba#yandere taiju shiba#yandere taiju x reader#Tokyo Revengers#tokyo revengers x reader#tokrev reader insert#yandere tokrev#tokrev x reader#yandere x reader#yandere fics#dark fic#tokrev x y/n#Yandere tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers x y/n#taiju shiba x reader#girl you are kind of dumb as hell (affectionately) in this#but honestly#same#I will always belong to Taiju Shiba#this is not a healthy relationship#thank you for reading!!!
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