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secretbangtnn · 3 years

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summary : Getting a letter from a very prestigious school was something that you could have never expect, and even more unexpected was that you didn’t need to pay a penny for it. Beautiful news that were too good to be true, but oh how stupid you were to not question such a perfect chance to get away from your shitty life.

notes:

Guys i would be more than happy for some feedback, its my first time writing in english and im more than nervous. Im not sure if what i wrote is good or even understandable. + i would be more than happy to start an ask game with this book

Chapter one

Living or in your case existing was always somehow calm. Everything you do had a plan and everyday had the same pattern, like a boring vase that stood in the same kitchen you actually were. Blue marble tiles awfully similar to tears that run down the woman's cheeks, making them a little bit more redder than before.

Not that they weren't that color before, always blushy and ready to be seen. And maybe that's why you had that sour taste in your mouth while watching them, knowing that your own were as beautifully red as hers.

"why?" a simple question sounding now like the last call for help. Voice groggy and nose runny making the sight before even more unbearable to look at. But why weren't you moved, why the tears didn't make you guality like they should. "you planned this?! You planned to leave me alone like a selfish bastard!"

Looking down didn't seem like the best option, knowing that it could just take the nerves in the room to a whole new level but you could not stop yourself. She was always one to guilt trip you into everything.

A little shout left the chapped mouth making you jump a little while lifting your head simultaneously. Sight before you seems to worsen and as you took a step back the woman took another two in the end catching your small wrist in her clawed hand.

Hissing and looking dead in her eyes made you somehow more conscious of the whole situation.

“I didn’t know.” and you really did not. Gritting your teeth so hard that it felt like some of them could fall out at any moment seems to stop you from doing sudden movements.

Breathe in and breathe out.

“Of course you think I am stupid! Just like your father, bringing me to insanity step by step. But that’s what you wanted from the beginning, am I right?”

“Stop being delusional mom” Oh how hard it was to say the name of that woman. Mother of child that she forgets most of the time, only to remember at the most shitty time. Today was exactly one of the examples of why your dream was just to wake up not seeing or better not having to think of that woman.

“Am i now? It’s you who wants me like this.” She laughed, throwing her head back in the motion. Elegant column of her neck now easy to see, showing purple and red marks similar to those from claws. “You thought I would not know, you thought you could just run away like a scared little child. Now tell me, how long were you planning this o-or maybe it was your father’s plan from the beginning.”

“I didn’t know about it, I didn’t even apply to any of the schools and you are the one that should know that.” toxicity leaked from your voice in big streams, but it was something that u could not stop at that moment. She was doing it again, acting crazy and psycho making everyone question why she wasnt getting hospital help yet.

“So you are saying that it’s my fault? You were supposed to care for me, for your ill mother, not that you are useful for anything else. How could you even think of disappearing, going to school so far away and leaving me to rot here myself like you were not meant to end like this too!”

Snatching your hand you looked at the woman once again, tears in eyes making you look fragile. Her own body looking weak, nearly dead limbs hanging from a malnourished body, showing the world wrack of a woman she was. Complexion ill looking, but what was not in her case, pale looking with green, purple and blue spots everywhere the skin was shown.

“Why are you being so shocked? Don’t tell me you thought you were going to leave someday.” Her laugh made you grit your teeth, jaw starting to hurt from the tension you were keeping. “Once again you showed how foolish you are, just like your father, just like that scumbag.”

“You are insane.”

“That we already know, so why don’t you come back to your room and start preparing for tomorrow. I want to eat a really nice breakfast next morning and maybe then after we can talk about what job you are going to have to make a living for us.”

And that was your sign to go, not looking back at the sick smirk on your mother mouth momocking your whole being. Step by step you saw the old stairs, in some place missing the color. Your room was nothing special, at least that what people said, for you it was some type of heaven. Peace that you could only catch while being there, laying on your old bed while looking at the dull ceiling.

Closing the door, you exchaled a heavy breath, sliding down on the flat surface of the door. Eyes closed like you have always done after an intense situation, today was not an exception to that.

Asking yourself what just happened, how and why. Unconsciously you looked at the letter beside you, laying so weirdly on the piece of not carpeted floor. The big fault in a little piece of paper. It was funny how this thing made such a bad influence on your life just by arriving on your doorstep.

The fact that the only person you could compare yourself to now is a story character of the name Harry was nearly not as funny as it sounded. However how u can explain getting a letter from a prestigious school you for sure did not apply or even looked up not even thinking about getting a scholarship to having a chance to think about it.

By any chance you were not stupid, but your ambitions flew away with another day in this shit hole you called home. Main reason being your own mother, which not only made it clear but for sure would kill you faster than let you leave.

You took the letter, keeping it in your hand like some unknown object you have never seen before. The texture itself is weird, making you shiver in some way. Big letter stood on the black piece of paper meaning only one thing.

Oh yes, that definitely was unsetting.

You remember clearly the first time you read the words that were put in this blank envelope. Big chance waiting for you, welcoming you with big arms and assuring you that you have nothing to be scared of.

And maybe those words were the one that brought you to that situation. It was not even three hours after the fight with your mother. Sun long down now moon shining on your pale face. Packing everything you tried to be quiet and quick hoping that your mother again ate too much of those big pills.

Big bag now laying down on your bed with a small letter beside it looking as innocent as before. You were not even seventeen making decisions that would cost you more then you can imagine. Living hell with possibility of going to another but in that moment nothing mattered like running away from old monsters.

Floor cracked under your feet even thought you were considered as a lightweight. How could you not be so malnourished when your mother forced you to teach yourself how to cook, never letting you eat before her. You tried to reason her moods or harsh behaviour to you but no matter how many times you tried it always ended in another reason why your life was just simply sad.

Running away was a good decision. You tried to say it so many times to actually believe in those empty words. The truth was that you were an innocent little child, not even a full adult that has never tasted a social life or had a friend.

“It will be alright.” Taste on your tongue after saying this a little sour with a heavy backpack danglin on your right arm. One step and then another, you touched the cold handle of your white doors. It was the first move to make and probably one of the hardest.

Bag on your arm is even more heavy making you realise what is happening. Silent breath flowed past your lips preparing you for your next step.

You pushed it closing it carefully while hoping that the oldish touch to the wood wont make an appearance in a loud noise. Silly smile now seen on your face with big relief in the back of your mind. The hardest part was just before you.

Your mothers room, not fully closed - like always, she needed to make sure nobody would come uninvited. It was just one of her weird characteristics that came with such a messed up mental health.

Small noise came out under your feet, not loud enough to wake up the woman next door but audible enough to be heard from closer.

Photos all around you telling you that you were getting near the main door. Little pictures with you inside faded from ears of hanging, making you stop for a while.

Smooth glass now under your fingers as you touch a specific photo. You and your mother being in the green garden of your grandmas. Happy vibe and pretty smiles now nearly unbelievable to witness on either of faces. It hurted or maybe it was just the adrenaline escaping from a sudden stop.

Oh how the sweet monet was quickly destroyed by the harsh noise from one of the rooms, and you exactly know which one. Loud thud rang out in the quietness of the house, making the silence even more noticable. Your breath escaped leaving you in a big ball of nerves and anxiety.

One...two...three

Silence like the one before big storms but maybe just this time it was not that. You couldn't withdraw now, you were too far and too close to the feeling of freeness. So you did the only thing that came to your mind.

Catching a sliding backpack, you turned to the door in front of you, knowing that just behind them is waiting something so much bigger than your old mother. How stupid for you to not rethink your decision, and believing your innocent mind that its just a good thing, better life that could only make you happier.

So you did it, you took the heavy steps that echoed in the narrow corridor. Light breeze touched your face, and just like the first time you gasped at the feeling. Door closing not that gently as you started running as fast as you could.

Silly smile now on your face with a bouncing bag on your shoulders keeping you on the hard ground. It was feeling similar to the first sight of the ocean or the first taste of sweet ice cream on a hot summery morning. You were in ecstasy choked by the overwhelming emotions.

And maybe because of that you were completely unaware of the danger that waited for you on that chilly night. How could you think about it when everything seemed so distracting almost as you were dreaming and in that moment you probably were closer to believing in this being a slumber.

So as you sat on the cold bench of one of the parks near your home, realization finally came silencing your beating heart. Colder weather now felt more real, as it bit your rosy cheeks. You shivered, keeping your backpack on your lap, trying to hide behind it from a chilly wind that seemed like it came from every side.

Being alone hit you like a truck and the little noises of the night didn't help your rising nerver. You started to lose your breath, feeling your tears sliding down your numb cheeks. It was terrifying now with the knowledge of your wellbeing and adrenaline wearing off with every second.

“Mom?” A silent plea that came out of your lips with shakiness that was more than noticeable. You didn't know why you said that, but the woman was probably the only person you knew. Such a sad truth that you needed to understand. You were alone now, and with that thought a more shameless sobs left your mouth with an occasional whimper.

You were sure you were going to end up dead. That you won't see the new sunset with how your body shivered. Not knowing how life worked or what is bad or good you were a little lamb that waited for hungry wolves to eat her whole.

And maybe one of those predators just saw his next meal. Long strides brought him just in front of you. Your sobs are too loud to make you hear his boots coming closer and closer. His breath just centimeters away from your head, brushing your hair like the not forgotten wind.

“Sweetheart?” It was a calming voice, not too deep but definitely belonging to a grown man. Your posture momentaly stiffened, as your closed eyes now looked at the big leather shoes before you. Your whole body is not moving, only shivering because of the chilly weather and light clothes. It was funny how suddenly you have forgotten about being alone, now wanting just this, wishing for all of this to be a big nightmare.

A deep sight left man's lips reminding you about the realness of the whole situation. You could not move, completely scared, your fingers clutched the bad praying for something to happen. The plan to just act like you were not there, ignoring the man fastly ended, when he sighted once again and crouched just to your eye level.

Deep brown eyes, looking at you with nothing but softness. If you didn’t know better you would say the man looked as if he knew you, cared and was in big relief finding you. But your mother's words echoed in your head, making you believe that every man walking on this planet is bad.

“What are you doing here sweetheart?” Once more this deep voice pierced you. Your mouth opens to answer, deeply knowing that nothing will come out. You just looked in his dark eyes, wishing that maybe he will be the one who can read minds. His eyes now on you, more concerned than before, observing your shivering body.

He was tall and broad for sure, towering over your figure surprisingly even while crouching down. His huge shoulders covered by a creamy coat which now was getting dirty by laying down on a pavement, as it partly hid his expensive looking boots.

Too distracted you didn't notice his hand coming to touch your red cheek, now gently stroking the redness of your skin.

“What a poor soul, so cold and left alone without a coat. Tell me sweetheart would you come and let me warm you a little?”

#poly bts #bts fic rec #bts fanfction #yandere bts #bts ot7 x reader #ot7 x reader #bangta boys #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #yoongi x you #namjoon fanfic #seokjin x oc #hoseok x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader

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kisekinodrabbles · 3 years

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helloo! i'd like to request something for the prompt game please :D kasamatsu + band!au + strangers to lovers + dialogue number 14 if that's okay? thanks, sam! and welcome back~

ofc!!! i tried to keep it shorter but im a bit rusty w my kasamatsu hehe hope u enjoy! wc: 2.3k

Kasamatsu admits that balancing his band and college work isn’t exactly an easy task. Between late evenings spent at gigs and all nights at the library, he is on the brink of his sanity, standing right at the tipping point. He yawns as he enters his nine am mandatory calculus class, another mistake made in his overconfidence that he would somehow be able to get his shit together.

You, on the other hand, are a closeted fan of his band, sitting three rows behind him in class. Every Tuesday and Thursday, you watch him drag his feet in and his hand lifting to his mouth in a yawn. Quickly, you duck behind your book as if Kasamatsu would ever give you the time of day. The brunette is well-known on campus with his successful group and good looks, not to mention he also dabbles a little in basketball while also maintaining a decent grade point average across all his classes. Triple threat, they call him.

When you first came into class and saw him there, shocked is an understatement. You’ve been following his band his high school from across the country. To see him in the flesh, so real and so human with his tired eyes, it almost feels like a dream. One you hope nobody would ever pinch you awake from. Thus, you made it your goal to be there before him every morning, which is a feat in itself. Kasamatsu may be grinding through the night and falling asleep in lectures, but he’ll be damned if he shows up late to class.

Throughout several weeks, you’ve seen girls come up to him left and right, shot down almost immediately by his intention to focus on the professor’s words. He lets them down easy and makes it clear that he pays thousands of dollars to study, not play IRL Tinder. This man gets sexier everyday.

You take your time packing your things when class is over, mainly because you’re too distracted watching Kasamatsu do the same. He is blind, or chooses to ignore, the whispers and shy glances thrown his way. Perhaps this is why you haven’t approached him yourself. You’re just one of his many admirers, a stroke in the massive painting of his life. Sighing, you pick up your pitiful self and make your way to the dining hall where you’re supposed to meet your friend for breakfast.

When the two of you settle on a table, you begin your weekly rambling about how beautiful Kasamatsu looks in the morning. Moriyama, being the good friend that he is, nods and listens intently.

Moriyama is an intriguing character. The two of you met because he had tried a line on you. In your perpetual state of flustered embarrassment, you had stupidly confessed to him: “Sorry, my heart belongs to Kasamatsu Yukio.”

In another twist of fate, he revealed that he had actually gone to high school with the guy and knew him pretty well.

“You know I can introduce you to him, right? No need for all this pining and drooling from three feet away.”

“It’s not the same,” you argue, “he’s practically a living legend on campus. I’m too intimidated to even breathe in the same air as him.” Your obsession has perhaps taken you too far, but if you expect to continue being his fan, the last thing you want is to scare him away.

“You’re so overdramatic,” Moriyama rolls his eyes. Coming from him, this sentence means a lot.

“What? It’s not my fault Kasamatsu’s so hot. He could bang me so hard backstage then pretend I don’t exist and I would still pay to watch his next show,” you groan, spooning yogurt into your mouth.

In that moment, several things happen. Moriyama’s eyes widen and fly behind you. Footsteps sounding at that same spot suddenly cease completely. You, realizing what possibly just happened, feel the heat flare up your cheeks.

Kasamatsu, in his sleep deprived state and probably completely delirious, had stopped in his tracks. His head whipped around to the source of the comment, finding Moriyama sitting with someone who looks distinctly familiar, but he can’t quite put his finger on it.

“Kasamatsu—”

Before Moriyama can even finish his sentence, Kasamatsu is already blurting out. “Okay, maybe I’m crazy but did I just hear you say that out loud?”

You want to crawl into your hole six feet underground and never see the light of day again. Ducking your head, you don’t even want to chance a glance up. The utter mortification is chewing away at your bones and you wish you could just evaporate into thin air.

Moriyama quickly interjects with a quick laugh, “Hear what? Also how have you been, man? I haven’t seen you in forever. Come join us for breakfast.”

Kasamatsu’s brows pucker. Maybe he really is going insane. And horny. Which is a very bad combination. Nevertheless, he slides into the empty seat next to Moriyama. He stares at you for a few seconds, squinting, before snapping his fingers. “Oh, I remember now. You’re in my calculus class.”

He knows you? “How do you know me?” you squeak, cursing your fangirl self for losing your voice. You never speak up in class, always choosing to come up to your professor for questions at the end of lecture. You’re quiet and tucked away behind him, so you never expected him to recognize you.

The smile he sends you is blinding. Even with shadows under his eyes, he still looks gorgeous. “You’re always first to arrive and last to leave. Figured you’re a hard worker in class and probably acing it.”

Your mouth dries. Kasamatsu noticed you. He actually noticed you. “Oh, um, I’m okay. I’m okay in class, I mean.”

“The question you should be asking is her name, Kasamatsu,” Moriyama scolds, smacking his back.

Kasamatsu pinks sheepishly. “Sorry, yeah. I’m Kasamatsu Yukio, by the way.”

Idiotically, you blurt out “I know” before your name. When you finally introduce yourself, you also clarify, “I’m a huge fan of Blue Devils. I mean, I’ve been following you guys since like high school. Absolutely love your music.”

The man actually reddens even further, but still he beams proudly. “Thank you! That’s crazy. Have you been to our shows?”

Almost all of them. “A couple, yeah.”

“We have one tonight in an actual venue. Are you coming?”

“Ah, it was sold out before I could get a ticket, actually.”

Kasamatsu blinks, “Oh, you’re more than welcome to come. I can get you a pass. Both of you—if Moriyama’s interested.”

“That would be amazing!” You grin, “Is there anything I can get you in return? I don’t want to just accept a gift from you for free.”

“Well, if you are good at calc, I wouldn’t mind some extra tutoring,” he suggests with a teasing grin.

Moriyama rolls his eyes, “Just ask her out instead of using tutoring as an excuse.” The two of you sputter, face colored a dark shade of red. You’ll kick his ass when you get the chance.

—

That one mistake turned out to be the greatest opportunity of your life. In addition to attending his show that night and meeting all of his bandmates, each one more good looking up close than then other, you manage to have weekly study sessions (you’re holding off on calling it dates) with Kasamatsu. The two of you take turns booking rooms at the library to cram, which mainly consists of you reexplaining concepts to the man. Although he isn’t a bad student, he’s also still struggling a bit to keep up.

“Hey” is what you hear before you feel a warm surface press against your cheek. You look up to find Kasamatsu with a steaming cup in hand. Gratefully accepting it, you catch a whiff of freshly brewed tea. You take a sip and smile. Black tea, no sugar. “Just the way I like it.”

“Noticed you never add anything to your tea,” Kasamatsu says almost proudly.

You raise the cup to him in thanks. Both of you go through your usual routine—you focusing on reviewing material for next week while Kasamatsu pores over his notes from this week, occasionally poking you to ask questions.

Honestly, a big part of you still wonders if this is all a dream. This guy you’ve been crushing on for years is sitting in the flesh right across from you. You peek at him from time to time, watching the way he frowns at his book. His blue, almost grey, eyes shine underneath the flickering lights. Even the way his lips curl unhappily is cute.

When he catches you staring, you quickly drop your gaze back to your laptop, missing the way he smiles quietly.

“Will you come to our show this weekend?” He asks as the two of you pack up.

“Ah, I have a shift at my part-time job.”

He looks surprised, “That late?”

You shrug, “Food never sleeps, I guess. It’s at the burger diner by campus.”

“Oh, are you guys open late?”

“Close at one.”

He nods, “Maybe I’ll see you there after then. The guys usually get really hungry after a gig so we can drive some business your way. I’ll make sure they tip well too.”

Your heart warms at the thought. It’s a thoughtful gesture but you’re even more thrilled at the prospect of seeing him. “Sounds good.”

True to his word, Kasamatsu brings the guys to your workplace at midnight after their show ended. They order quite a spread, practically everything on the menu. Kasamatsu goes as far as to help you carry orders to their table. You shoot him an appreciative smile.

Over the time your friendship has bloomed, Kasamatsu has been nothing but a gentleman. He walks you home to your dorm if you’re studying late into the night. He meets you in class with a muffin or a cookie from his early Starbucks runs. Surprisingly, he begins placing himself next to you each session. “This is better anyway,” he mutters. “Two birds, one stone.”

His vague words had you tilting your head in question.

“I don’t have random people coming up to me to sit with me and, well, I get to enjoy your company.” It’s a nice thought—him enjoying your company, that is. He had blushed a little when he realized what you said, but chose to direct his attention to the slides pulled up before him, missing the way you hide your smile behind your sleeve.

Now, you hear the rowdy boys chattering on as they devour their meal as if it’s their last. They speak through mouthfuls of burgers and fries, but you find the sight endearing, mainly because you’ve never seen Kasamatsu so relaxed. It’s quite refreshing really. Your attention is piqued when you hear one of them ask: “So doing it tonight huh?”

Kasamatsu retorts with a “shut the fuck up” and flings a fry his way. The way the other guy wiggles his brows suggestively has you freezing. What if he was meeting up with someone tonight? What if he was going to do the deed?

Somewhere in the distance, you hear the faint cracking of your heart. Of course, Kasamatsu is popular. It’s no surprise he’s got his nights covered as well. You sigh dejectedly, feeling the hope inside you crumble into dust. The rest of your shift goes by rather uneventfully, but you try to avoid going to their table too much, lest you hear more details about Kasamatsu’s planned tryst. The man himself steals glances your way, wondering if you’ll be checking on them anytime soon.

“Your check,” you smile as you set the bill on the table, “I got the owner to give you a discount since you guys ordered a good amount.”

All of their eyes seem to sparkle as they thank you in unison, their synchrony almost puzzling. As you move to pick up the bill and change, Kasamatsu catches your hand before you move away. “What time does your shift end?”

“Half an hour. Why?”

The other guys are already packing up their things and giving you little waves as they exit the restaurant, leaving the two of you alone. “I’ll walk you home, it’s late,” he murmurs, fingers still wrapped around your wrist.

“Oh, you don’t have to! I usually take the bus back anyway so it’s no big deal.” You want to confirm whether he had plans that night anyway. You’d hate to be in the way of that.

He shakes his head, “I insist. Also, um, are you doing anything tomorrow?”

“Catching up on studying most likely.”

“Oh,” he pauses, “if you have time tomorrow night, do you want to catch a movie with me? Maybe dinner after?”

You blink at him in surprise. Now that you’re looking at him properly, you notice that his cheeks are several shades darker than the red neon glow of the diner sign. He’s shifting on his feet and his other hand finds purchase on the strap of his bag, fidgeting with the material. “Um, like a date?”

“Y-yeah,” he stutters slightly, his throat moving as he swallows. “Sorry, I probably should’ve made that clear,” he coughs, “b-but if you don’t want it to be the we can also go as friends.” Perhaps you’ve tortured the boy long enough but you can’t help but relish in his awkward chuckle as his hand lifts to rub the back of his neck nervously.

Biting back a huge grin, you nod. “It’s a date.”

Kasamatsu’s eyes light up and a pleased grin spread across his face. “It’s a date.”

The hollering outside the building has the two of you whipping to face the window where his bandmates have their faces pressed up against the surface, laughing and smiling to congratulate and embarrass their friend. Kasamatsu flushes, “I’ll see you later to pick you up.”

You nod but he’s already out the door, leaping to kick his friends away. “You stupid idiots!”

Laughing, you watch as the group makes kissy faces at Kasamatsu all the while the man fruitlessly attempts to shut them up. He really is cute.

#kuroko no basket #knb #kuroko no basuke #kasamatsu yukio #kasamatsu #knb drabbles #miffythoughts

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februaryberries · 4 years

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Study (?) tips that you don’t see on every study post

Hi gamers, I just finished my first year at college/university!!

This year was really a struggle for me because I was trying to get the help I needed for my mental health, and I did not succeed until literally the week before finals spring term. I just got diagnosed w ADHD and put on meds (thank god) and I’m excited for the next year to come.

Though this year was absolutely grueling I did discover some little tips that can really help ! This is coming from my experience w ADHD but it could relate to other neurodiverse learners as well ! Even if you are neurotypical some of these might help !!

This post got really long so I’m gonna put it under the cut but, main Idea is bolded w a more in depth explanation underneath ( for those like me who see a block of text and go running)

In no particular order:

If you can/are up for it take a class before noon even if you are not a morning person. I am NOT saying take an 8am when u regularly go to bed at 4am! Bc that is dumb bb pls get some sleep. In my experience once I go to class my brain is like “oh things are happening now, it is actually a day and not just existing in a timeless hellscape.”

Once I am out of bed/out of my room I am at least mildly more productive for the rest of the day. Going to a class before noon means you are up and doing things for the day and early enough that you still have light. This ties into the next one

Start while it’s still light out!! At least for me I gain so much happiness from natural light/sunlight, and it is very hard for me to do things let alone START things once it’s dark out because my brain is like nope the day is over now. Plus in the fall/winter days days are getting shorter and shorter so it’s important to make use of as much daylight as you can. I feel like a plant w how much I rely on light to survive but it really does help!

Put on ‘Real People’ clothes. This is something that really helps me, even if it’s just like, jeans and a turtleneck, maybe tucked in w a belt. I’ve found that when I put on academic-y clothes or like Adult clothes it helps me switch my brain into school mode. It’s kinda like putting on a uniform for work? If I’m in too loose of clothes or like pyjamas for example, I’m much less likely to be able to switch my brain into productive mode. For me especially its when i’m wearing tighter clothing rather than baggy ones? Like i said a turtleneck which like the sleeves are fitted to my arms, and jeans or pants that are fitted to my legs. I think it helps because it makes me more aware of my body in the space? Idk. figure out what real people clothes feel like to you, and then have a couple of go to outfits you can slip on when you’ve been in a hoodie and sweatpants all day and really need to get some work done.

On that note, put on shoes. For me along w the tight clothing, I do better in shoes, specifically ones that lace up and can be tight. Like hightop converse, or boots, or even dress shoes w laces. I think in a way my body needs to be contained so I can focus on something? I’m not sure why I feel like that but i’ve learned to work w it. Putting on shoes for me helps because

1. I’m not distracted by what I’m putting my bare feet on (i cannot stand wearing socks unless im wearing shoes so yes bare feet)

2. I’m not getting distracted by my floor n the fact that hey maybe i should sweep bc there are some crumbs sticking to my feet now.

And 3. You put on shoes when you are going to go outside and go somewhere. It’s like putting pyjamas on to go to bed, you’re brain associates those items with doing something, so putting on shoes can signal to your brain hey we are doing something now, and that something is work.

Talk to your teachers !! I understand sometimes you have a teacher from hell and honestly idk what to tell you at that point but in a lot of cases teachers can be very understanding !! The amount of support I’ve gotten from my teachers this year is absolutely insane and 100% the only thing that made it so I didn’t get kicked out of college. Like reaching out to your teachers shows that you care! if you have to take a mental health day sometimes let them know !! i would always let my teacher know that I really wanted to be in class but I just couldn’t handle it that day. They also can help connect you to resources you didn’t know about !

Look into what resources your school has !! I was talking about how next year is gonna go now that I’ve been diagnosed and such with my friend, and how I was gonna contact the DRC (disability resource center) and she didn’t know you could get support for having ADHD!! Like I know you can get extensions on due dates, attendance forgiveness, and even potentially note taking assistance when you have ADHD and talk to them. even if you are medicated it doesn’t 100% solve everything and there are still ways to get support! Whether its study groups, writing centers/support, tutoring, or even contacting your drc or whatever your school has, it can really help!! I’m definitely going to take advantage of these resources if I can next year !

Find a place outside you can go to clear your head (or have a mental breakdown)

I can’t even begin to count the amount of times i’ve been freaking out over something or stressed out of my mind and my room started to feel to stuffy and claustrophobic and i just needed to get OUT. try to make sure it’s somewhere safe and close that you can go to even at night. (maybe try to shoot a text to your best friend that you’re out and if you don’t let them know you’re home by a certain time to start raising alarm, your safety is the most important) I tend to like to be up high because i’m further away from people, and the streets and I’m closer to the sky.

My go to thinking/breakdown spot is the roof of the parking garage a block away. It has stairs that are easy access and the top levels are usually empty even during the day. It really helps me to just go out and listen to music and collect my thoughts sometimes. My head can start going a million directions at lightspeed and I need to stop and be present, and being outside helps. It’s a good way to regroup.

Spend 10 minutes picking up your desk/work space. I tend to let my room get cluttered and messy and out of control a lot, to the point where I know it’s going to take at least a couple hours to get it clean again. It is also hard to focus when you’re in a messy environment. I would stress myself out and be like “well i HAVE to clean my whole room because I can’t focus if my space isnt clean I cant start until I clean” and then I would put all of my productive energy into cleaning, and get maybe halfway done before burning out and going to bed.

You’re never going to get any work done if you keep in this mindset. So instead just spend 10 minutes picking up the garbage off your desk, put the dishes in the kitchen, and put things back in their place. Then you will have enough space to work on your assignment and that space will be free of clutter so it won’t be as stressful.

DRINK WATER DRINK WATER DRINK WATER

Have a water bottle in front of you when you’re studying/in class. I get fidgety a lot when i’m in class/studying (thank u adhd) and so having a water bottle is a way for me to fidget I guess? Depending on the water bottle, you have little steps you have to do to drink that help u fidget,

for example: pick it up, take off the lid, drink, put the lid back on, set it down.

Or pick up, push button that opens drink hole (?), set back down.

When I have a water bottle on my desk it satisfies my need to do something with my body and comes with the bonus of staying hydrated, without me having to lose focus doing something else. Also you won’t get distracted by a sore throat or the realization that you are really thirsty.

Pay attention to why you’re not paying attention. Not everything that works for me is going to work for you, so you have to figure out what works for you. I started to notice that I would be uncomfortable or feel funny working when I was in baggy clothes and that helped me figure out I needed to wear real people clothes. If you find yourself getting distracted, take note of what is distracting you. maybe try literally making a list of things that distract you, so then you can identify patterns and how to combat them !

That’s all I have for now, I hope some of these could maybe help? All of these have helped me actually complete an assignment occasionally, and somehow keep my ass in college. I just want to say that my experience is my own and things that work for me aren’t going to work on every one. college can be really tough, especially your first year when you’re trying to figure everything out. I may not have all the answers but feel free to shoot me a message!! i’m here for you if you want to ramble about an assignment you’re fed up with or a teacher you hate or anything thats bothering you !! Everyone’s college (and life) experience is different so don’t feel bad if yours doesn’t look the same as the people around you ! Remember to take care of yourselves !!!

Have a good day :)

#mine #study tips #college tips #study advice #adhd tips #?#studyblr #study #bullet journal #bujo #dark academia #light academia #I'm fucking trying academia #notes #muji #college advice #idk how to tag #i hope these kinda sorta make sense lol

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seulgiology · 4 years

Text

take you on a drive | johnny suh

Headcanon!

pairings: childhood friend!johnny x childhoodfriend!female reader

words: 1.5k

genre: fluffy headcanon with humor uwu

synopsis: I’m pretty sure we all know NCT 127. You know, the 10-member K-Pop group who makes some questionable, but nonetheless amazing music? Then you must know their lead dancer and underrated vocalist/rapper, Johnny Suh. But what was he like before the fame and popularity? What happened in Chicago?

warnings: cursing

a/n: fuck, yall im so sorry for that long ass gif jdlknjdbc,,, anygays ADMIN 1 HERE YER YER. unedited in my angst to post this

disclaimer: This is a work of fiction from our imagination. It is not intended that the plot, theme, original characters, idols, etc. portray any real-life events/people. Plagiarism is NOT tolerated on this blog. If you believe we have copied an existing authors’ work, please message us privately. Thank you and enjoy :)

boy oh boy i hope ya’ll saw those pre-debut pictures of johnny cause-

CHILE

but before we get into that;

how’d you meet in the first place?

funny you ask

it was by pure coincidence

you were a rising junior in high school

yikes lol,

you were pretty fucking young

you had just got your drivers license and desperately wanted to drive your parents car

the sad part:

your annoying ass little brothers had to go with you wherever you drove

two of these devils were too much

imagine being in a CAR with them

hell

around august, you being the good sister you are,

offered to take them to the amusement park

with their equally annoying friends lol

12 year olds are just,,,

sigh

but you weren’t the only one chaperoning

one of their friends older brother (you vaguely remember his name being Johnny)tagged along to watch the devil spawns with you

and my my my, you were not expecting him to hop in the back of your moms mini van with all that hair

ya’ll know that hair he had pre-debut when it was super long and shaggy-like? yea that one

but he was cute

in a nerdy way though

you couldn’t help but steal peeks at him a few times-

or what you thought was being discreet

-through the rear view mirror of course

and what you gathered was this:

naturally puckered lips

might still be going through puberty with his voice

muscly arms, probably his whole body too

friendly eyes but intimidating face

in conclusion-

you didn’t know what to think about him

there came a point on the highway when your brothers and their friends wanted snacks

you exited the highway to the nearest gas station and sighed into the steering wheel as you waited for them to come back

“are you always this annoyed?” came a sudden voice.

you damn near banged your head against the car roof with how high you sat up

“shit, i thought you were in there with the boys.”

your hand was clutching your flowery tank top, the hot weather was not playing today

and he sniggered under his breath at obviously startling you

“What’s so funny?” in all honesty, you weren’t even upset

you just wanted him to get that you were not the one to mess with

… with your clear jelly sandals

… and clip on earrings your little sister forced you to wear

… and the flowers on your tank were the icing on the cake

the childish pout on your face was absolutely adorable to him

“You’re blushing. it’s cute.”

You couldn’t keep your front in place for long with that contagious smile he had

“It’s just insanely hot.”

“Pfft and so am I.” He playfully scoffed at your remarks, his bangs shifting along with his movement

the car fell into a comfortable silence after that,

both of you too awkward to continue

when the boys finally got into the car after 902837 years,

you were once again on your way to the esteemed amusement park

once you guys arrived, the boys immediately ran off to the biggest rollercoasters to ride

with you two alone

so much for chaperoning right

at least they said they’ll call if they need you

so there you were;

thinking how the hell you ended up with this sarcastic and sweaty dweeb

you turned towards him in time to see him already looking your way

might as well make the most out of the situation, right?

“I heard the Goliath is pretty scary.” You warily suggest

“Only if you’re a wuss.” He jesters back

“Tch, im pretty sure you’ll be throwing up your intestines by the time we’re done”

“I guess we’ll have to actually get on the ride to see, don’t we?” The cunning smirk was challenging and you were ready for it.

even if you were a little bitch who couldn’t stand heights

sorry to the readers who actually are afraid of heights

but if this guy Johnny was daring you,

something about him made you want to prove him wrong

“Race you to the coaster!”

and he ran off, leaving you in the dust

“I bet $5 he doesn’t know where he’s going.”

about an hour later, you and Johnny rode about 4 roller coasters

laughing until you cried

and screaming at the top of your lungs in absolute joy

but the slightly older teen at your side was having the time of his life too

for a completely different reason

his mind went blank when you held his hand tight as the ride was climbing to the top

he couldn’t contain his smile when you tugged him along to another ride and told him,

“Johnny we have to ride this one, It’s going to be even better than the last.”

you met up with the other boys to eat some of the food you snuck in

ngl y’all every time i went to six flags they don’t allow outside food in?????

none of you were tired yet, and spent another 3 hours at the park

You and Johnny found yourselves near the boardwalk part

It came to a surprise that he was the one tugging you along

you played all of the typical games people play

whack-a-mole

milk bottle

balloon bust

ring toss

roll-a-ball

that game where you have to shoot water in a hole to blow up the balloon

even managed to win your shaggy haired companion a stuffy

“it’s so pretty at night, isn’t it?”

you asked as he carried you on his back,

since you were complaining about your feet hurting

the lights of the carousel and the boardwalk together was so beautiful

you sat down near the big fountain in the middle, waiting for the other to make their way back

you chatted on and on about the amusement park

adored by the way his eyes seem to disappear when he laughed with you

and when you made your way back home, the conversation continued in the car too

you sung songs together and even managed to get on your brothers’ good side

surprise number 826363 of the night;

johnny could sing

You all sang your hearts out to Beyonce’s If I were a Boy, and TVXQ’s Mirotic

He couldn’t remember a time where he had so much fun in one day

so it was absolutely devastating when you pulled up to his house

“I guess this is it huh?”

he was so nervous, omg

he didn’t want to leave like that

shit, he spent the whole day having fun with an amazing person

he couldn’t believe he had to walk back in his house

and go on in life to only have this day as a memory

to lay at night and-

“You want my number, or...?”

you stifled a girlish giggle when he fumbled with his phone in his hand

you quickly opened up his contacts and added your name

with a little “<3″ at the end ‘cause you had to

you handed him back his phone and enjoyed the feeling of his fingers brushing against yours

your initial confidence soon left and all that was left was suffocating awkwardness

god he really wanted to say something

but he just had to be a nervous

even if you both were pressed against each other on those roller coasters

“uh... I had a lot of fun with you- with everyone I mean, today, by the way,” he forced the words out

he could hear how nervous and shaky he was, but you could see his eyes held sincerity

“Yeah, so did I.”

you stared at him with a small smile on your face

shifting in place under the weight of his strong gaze

HONK!

you both jumped at the sound of the car honking obnoxiously

“Damn where is the knife ‘cause this tension is THICK”

“How do you even know what tension is, aren’t you like, 6?”

you snorted at johnny’s comeback and shook your head in amusement

“I should get going before they try and drive the car down the street”

you subconsciously put your hands in your back pockets and slowly back track towards the car

“Hey, y/n!”

just as you were getting in the front seat, you whip your head in his direction looking at him expectantly

“Maybe next time you won’t actually be scared.”

he sent a giddy grin your way before closing the front door

leaving you in the drivers seat with tingles throughout your body

and a grin on your face that you couldn’t wipe away even as you bid your parents good night

you toppled on your bed in a fit of giggles as you hug your phone to your chest

take a shot from every time i type giggles

“omg is he asking me out on a date?” you couldn’t help but ask aloud

suddenly, your phone chimes with a new message

your phone drops on your bed from your excitement

you already knew who it was from

you quickly opened the message and didn’t stop your eyes from rolling all the way to the back of your head

save me in your phone as ‘youngHOE’ ;)

he never failed to make you laugh

#:') cries #johnny #johnny suh #nct #nct127 #nct 127 #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct headcanons #nct 127 fluff #nct127 fluff #johnny headcanon #johnny fanfic #kpop headcanon #nct fanfic #work by seulgiology #johnny soft hours #johnny be mine juseyo :333

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taeyongdoyoung · 3 years

Photo

summary: the forest is your only escape from the everyday troubles with your family until you find danger lurking behind the trees. or rather, danger finds you. your fateful encounter with the vampire ravn leaves you wishing for a different life. you strike an unexpected deal with the stranger that will soon turn into something more…

pairing: vampire!ravn x reader

genre: vampire!au, ANGST, romance, horror

warnings: awkward period mentions, kinkshaming, trespassing, kidnapping, hints of possessiveness, the usual werewolf wants a mate business, manipulation, gaslighting, cleithrophobia, rip y/n

word count: 2.5k

author’s note: im...genuinely so sorry

part one 🌙 part two 🌙 part three 🌙 part four 🌙 part five 🌙 part six 🌙 part seven 🌙 part eight 🌙 part nine 🌙 part eleven 🌙 part twelve 🌙 epilogue

It was a full moon and coincidentally, your moon days had recently arrived. Which usually didn’t bother you that much. But ever since you had started living with Ravn, ever since you had become his girlfriend, your red visitors were not welcome at all. For two very important reasons. One, he refused to touch you like that, because he didn’t want to harm you accidentally. Two, he refused to drink from you, because, yet again, he was putting your safety first. But of course, you couldn’t ignore his needs. You could tell that he was starving.

“Ravn…you should probably go hunting,” you suggested. You had noticed how he flinched every time you got close to him and he didn’t even kiss you, because he was afraid he’d lose all self-control. He looked so damn hungry and devastated that it was breaking your heart. You wanted to take care of him the way he was looking after you, but you knew he would never allow that. So, you proposed the one thing you could think of.

“And leave you here alone? Not a chance,” Ravn shook his head, though you could see how difficult it was for him to restrain his primal urges to feed.

“I could come with you,” you murmured.

“And watch me feed from something else? Not happening,” he scoffed.

You rolled your eyes.

“Come on, it can’t be that different from watching you feed from me,” you pointed out, thinking you were so smart.

“Oh, please,” Ravn laughed. “You rarely watch. You just close your eyes and enjoy it like the depraved little girl you are.”

“Don’t mock me!” you scolded him.

“I’m not,” he smiled sweetly and despite his hunger, Ravn caressed your cheek. “I would never.”

“You should seriously go hunt,” you advised him. “I’ll be waiting for your return.”

“Really? You won’t disappear?”

“I would never,” you whispered softly, mimicking his words.

“Just promise me you’ll stay here. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

You gulped nervously, remembering the recent realization you’d had about your childhood friend turning out to be the very same werewolf who’d followed you a while ago.

“Everything will be okay, Ravn.”

He nodded, trying to reassure both you and himself.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” he promised.

“Be careful out there, yeah?” you felt inclined to say.

Ravn gave you a quick kiss and hurried towards the door.

You looked outside and noticed the full moon emerging from behind a cloud. You remembered reading stories about werewolves being stronger, more dangerous during a full moon. You desperately hoped Ravn wouldn’t run into Leedo during his hunt. He had seen particularly anxious to leave you alone. And you wondered if there was any truth to that myth. Or was he worried for another reason? Whatever the case, something bothered you and you couldn’t fall asleep despite the late hour. As you were tossing and turning, you heard a strange sound coming from the corridor. You pulled the blankets closer to your chin and held the fabric tightly. Had Ravn returned so soon? You thought hunting would take him longer. You wondered if you should get out of bed to greet him. If it was him at all. No, what was happening to you? Such foolish thoughts would only needlessly scare you and you would have nightmares. You got up from bed anyways and walked slowly into the corridor.

“Ravn?” you asked the darkness. But the darkness didn’t reply. “Is that you?”

Your voice quivered helplessly at that last part. Who else could it be? No one knew the exact location of Ravn’s castle. Sure, it was pretty close to the forest but it was hidden away by strong spells that made it extremely difficult to find by mortals. It had taken you some time to get used to it. You could now find your way back home easily. But to a stranger, it would be almost impossible. Almost.

Suddenly, you heard the strange noise again. This time it was coming closer. But you could see nothing. Nobody.

“Hello?” you inquired pointlessly. But no reply came. Just the same old darkness. And then, as quickly as you had gotten out of bed, you noticed two very familiar glowing yellow eyes staring right back at you. No. This couldn’t be happening. It was just a bad dream. You would wake up soon. No. The eyes were now closer, brighter, angrier. And you could only do so much as take a hesitant step back when the werewolf jumped at you.

🌙🌙🌙

You opened your eyes to an unfamiliar setting. A cold, damp floor under your legs. And darkness all around. The only thing you could discern was those cursed yellow eyes. You needed a moment to process. You were not dead. You were still breathing. Which meant that the werewolf…Leedo (you had to remind yourself) had not intended to harm you. Then, what did he want? And how had you ended up here? You realized that you had probably passed out from the sudden shock. You touched your arms, your legs and your face, as if to check you were still intact. Everything was, in fact, in order. Leedo had not harmed you physically. He’d just taken you to an unfamiliar place against your will. If that was the case, you could figure something out, come to an agreement of sorts.

“What do you want from me?” you asked directly. But of course, the werewolf couldn’t respond to you. Not in his animal form, at least. So, he simply growled in what could only be defined as a vaguely threatening but not murderous manner. You didn’t know much about wolves but you had to guess his intentions from the fact that you were not dead (yet). What could you do? Other than wait for the full moon to be over and for the werewolf to return to his human form. To Leedo. Your friend. God, how had you ended up in such a predicament? Your boyfriend was a vampire and your childhood best friend was a werewolf. You would have passed out again if you hadn’t previously had some time to deal with this information. You were too terrified to sleep. You had just gotten kidnapped. So, you just intended to wait for the morning to arrive and save you from the unknown.

🌙🌙🌙

Ravn’s POV

She had been right. I had been too freaking hungry to think straight. I was glad I went hunting. I should have done so earlier instead of risking hurting her accidentally. It would have been fatal. I cared for her more deeply than any other being I’d met during my immortal existence. If anything happened to her, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. So, when I returned to my home and didn’t find her peacefully sleeping in her bed, I started panicking rightaway. I checked the library, thinking she was probably there, reading something like the cute little book-lover she was. But no such luck. Then, I tried the kitchen, thinking she was just having a midnight snack. When I couldn’t find her in any of the rooms she would usually go to, I realized something must have gone terribly wrong. She wouldn’t go outside on her own. Not on a full moon. She had promised me. I returned to the first place I’d come looking for her – the bedroom. Then, back to the corridor...I sniffed the air and to my surprise, I caught an unfamiliar scent. A werewolf. No, it wasn’t possible. She would never invite him here, friends or not. Which could only mean one thing. He had taken her. Away from me. And he would pay for it.

🌙🌙🌙

I followed her scent, mixed with the werewolf’s, out of the castle. It was gradually becoming fainter. I couldn’t find her exact location and it was driving me insane. I needed to know where she was, whether she was safe. She wouldn’t do this to me, right? She wouldn’t leave without a word. Not after everything we’d been through. I had to trust her. I kept going after their trails down the road and near the river. But the minute my feet touched the cold water, the scent disappeared. Sneaky bastard. The werewolf had probably pushed them forward through the river on purpose so that I’d lose their track. I could go no further because I knew not where to go.

It suddenly hit me. Even though Seoho wanted to stay away from me for the time being, because he was fearful that Y/N would betray our secrets to the humans, he was the only one I could turn to. He was my best friend and I needed his help. He would know what to do. He could probably make a tracking spell. I’d give him an object of hers and he’d snap his magical fingers and we’d find them, right? That was the only way. I sighed and hurried out of the forest and towards the town where Seoho resided, a couple of miles from here. I could only pray that I would be fast enough. That I would get his help and that we’d manage to get to her before it was too late. If that damn werewolf hurt her…I would kill him and then, myself for letting it happen. Fuck. I shouldn’t have been so selfish. Leaving her alone to go hunting during a full moon. What was I thinking? She must have been so scared…My poor, brave girl. I would find her, I vowed to myself. No matter the consequences.

🌙🌙🌙

Reader’s POV

In the morning, you opened your eyes. Despite your terror, you had managed to get some sleep. Above you, you could faintly see a glimmer of light coming from a very strange hole on the roof of…whatever this was. But all around you, there were metal bars. And no key. Once the moon was no longer visible, you witnessed the impossible. Well, by now you were fairly convinced that the impossible was very much part of your reality. However, it was one thing suspecting that the werewolf who’d followed you was your best friend, Leedo. And it was another seeing his transformation for yourself. It was terrifying to look at and you couldn’t imagine how he felt actually experiencing it. You mentally scolded yourself. You weren’t supposed to pity him. He had kidnapped you. Taken you away from your boyfriend, from your home. Friend or not, Leedo no longer deserved your sympathy, you had to remind yourself. He was different from the kid you remembered and you had to make peace with that one way or another.

“Y/N, did I hurt you?” were Leedo’s first words once he had regained his human form.

Oh, great. He was concerned. How was that supposed to make you dislike him?

“Why am I here, Leedo?” you groaned, exasperated.

“You’re not surprised? That I am…well, you saw what I am.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I suspected it, to be honest,” you announced smugly. “Will you respond to my question?”

Leedo ran a hand through his sweaty hair.

“You’ll think I’m crazy.”

“Try me,” you challenged him bravely.

“Listen…it wasn’t supposed to happen like that. But during the full moon, I have a hard time controlling my urges and…you’re already here so, I might as well…”

You blinked at him in confusion.

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“I think you’re my mate.”

“Duh, we’ve been friends since kids,” you replied.

“No, that’s not what I meant…To werewolves, having a mate is different than having a friend. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Don’t underestimate my intelligence, Leedo,” you scoffed.

“Okay, then,” he laughed. “It means you’re my soulmate. That the moon destined us to be together. That…I want, no, I need to make you mine.”

Oh, God. He’d really lost his mind, huh?

“First of all, I don’t believe in destiny,” you snapped at him. “We choose who to be with. Second of all, do you really think kidnapping me is the right way to make me…I can’t even say it,” you hissed angrily. “I don’t belong to anyone but myself.”

Leedo nodded sadly.

“I know it’s a lot to process…”

“No, it’s not. You’re just delusional.”

“Listen…I don’t know what that boyfriend of yours brainwashed you but whatever lies he’s been feeding you, forget about it.”

Oh, you wished you could laugh at the irony, but it was impossible, because you couldn’t risk exposing your boyfriend’s secret. Leedo had it all wrong. Instead of lies, you had been feeding Ravn something else.

“You don’t even know him,” you said through clenched teeth.

“I know enough,” Leedo replied. “I could smell death all over that castle of his. He’s a vampire, isn’t he?”

You stood, completely wide-eyed and speechless. How had he figured it out so quickly? The same way Ravn had known Leedo was a werewolf, perhaps. Maybe supernatural creatures had a special way of spotting or sensing other beings, that was the only explanation. In any case, you could neither confirm it, nor deny it. If you lied, Leedo would see right through you, you were such a terrible liar. If you said the truth, you would be betraying your boyfriend’s secret. So, you just remained silent.

“I knew it,” Leedo continued. “Did he drink from you? Did you know that vampires’ fangs have a venom that’s capable of controlling humans? Whatever he made you do, it’s not real. He took away your free will, Y/N. And you accuse me of kidnapping you,” he shook his head as if it was funny.

You had not, in fact, known that. It wasn’t in any of the books you’d read on vampires. And Ravn had never mentioned it. Could you really believe Leedo? Whatever he said, you didn’t care. Ravn had never treated you with anything other than respect and utmost care. He wasn’t the villain in your story. He had never made you do anything against your will. And you loved him.

“He did no such thing!” you shouted passionately, completely forgetting about the fact Ravn’s secret was now exposed and transfixed by the idea to defend his virtue. “I stayed with him out of my own free will, because my parents were assholes who loved money more than they ever loved me!”

“You don’t have to stay with him anymore,” Leedo said. “You can stay with me.”

“In this cold, damp place in the middle of nowhere?” you spat out sarcastically. “I’d rather die!”

“Don’t say that,” Leedo grabbed your arms and you tried to push him away but he was too strong. “I can make you happy.”

You began shaking.

“Don’t you see you’re scaring me?” you whimpered. You were trapped. You were so far away from home and you couldn’t escape. You wanted out. You felt as if you were suffocating. “Please, Leedo, you have to let me go. If you ever cared for me, you’ll let me go…”

“I can’t,” he let go of your arms but took a step back, as if to remind you of the situation you were in. You were suddenly very aware of the metal bars surrounding you like a cage. You were the bird and your wings had been clipped.

“I will never love you the way you want me to,” you vowed, tears of frustration and fear falling down your cheeks.

“Give it time,” Leedo smirked. “You’ll change your mind.”

“I won’t.”

To be continued…

#oneus #ravn #ravn x reader #twilight #oneus fanfic #kim youngjo #leedo #ravn angst #romance #vampire au #vampires #writing

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need-a-new-hobby · 4 years

Text

the descent into hell isn’t easy

s1 ep 2

so i got 2 notes on my last post so imma keep going

did simon just compare jace to mick jagger?!? HA!

did clary just say that she thinks jocelyn is at the center of their war?!? WhAt? look, i get that this girl wants to find her mom, but assuming that the entire shadowhunter race (also they call themselves a race) is fighting over her mom is just... idek what to call it? Arrogance? Naïveté?

also did noone think to bring the body inside?

i swear alec is so done with jace and his mundanes. his entire thing is just ‘another one?’

i’m sorry, i think my eyes just rolled down the back of my skull with the whole ‘best friends’ thing.

can i just point out that matthew daddario is just watching isabell flirt with simon with such amusement? it’s adorable.

my god, i forgot that they torture their tutor to get info on the circle. i know hodge deserves this later, but seriously, how could clace do that?

‘i hate to make you suffer like this.’ are y’all serious? she’s borderline torturing this guy for info. somehow she makes me angrier by apologising.

also this kinda thing is so classic. ofc none of them know their own violent history. did no-one bother to find out growing up? i hate to say this but if clary’s right about one thing, it’s the insanity behind not knowing their own history.

also, this scene is one of the first that made me sorta dislike clary. rewatching it just makes me angrier.

‘what is a g. i. joe?’ them not knowing clary and simon’s pop culture references is the funniest. refer to mick jagger above

also where the hell was she planning to go? and clary’s explanation of what a g.i. joe is is kinda off. i always assumed a g. i. joe was like an all-american hero (see steve rogers)

yikes! clary stepped on mom issues. i have no empathy/sympathy for her, she needs to calm down

‘in the shadow world, no training and no plan gets you killed’ - the first sane thing i’ve heard jace say all season.

kay, jace has got to be some kinda genius to go from ‘my memory’s blank’ to ‘your memory’s been wiped’. my memory goes blank all the time. i don’t remember what i had for dinner last night.

one more implausible thing, how doesn’t she know what a warlock is? i mean she’s 18, it’s 2016, has she not heard of Harry Potter, or LOTR for that matter? she’s simon’s best friend, she has to have come across it at some point in time.

kay, first of all, we all saw dot fall through a window about maybe 10 ft high, crack her neck on a fence and fall on the pavement. how is she still alive?

also, i know luke’s meant to be a good guy and all, but he literally just treated dot like crap considering all she’s been through. and insinuating that she can’t be trusted when he himself was a circle member is just plain discrimination.

also, she gets it. ‘if anyone can help, it’s magnus bane’. i get it, my baby is super powerful, but please don’t get him killed. i can already sense the magnus bane sass™️

izzy’s so pretty! and her hair is flawless. but the way she says ‘he’s the ultimate protector’, i just can’t

btw, love the inclusion of the ‘izzy can’t cook’ gag from the books. but kinda implausible that she can make porridge but completely burns toast. nvm, the porridge looks nasty (sorry, iz, i still love you though, bad porridge and all)

can i just ask that if jocelyn fray’s real name is fairchild, why would searching her pseudonym come up as restricted? also, hodge very conveniently forgot to tell them that jocelyn was married to valentine or that her real name was fairchild. that’s just sloppy.

also luke’s friendship with his boss is so pleasing to watch (terrible phrasing i know) i mean so often female captains are seen as these stoic, always angry and fierce officers with terrible relationships with their underlings. it’s nice to see her joking around with a colleague.

clary’s uncomfortability with izzy’s clothing is canon, but she’s basically wearing a camisole. it’s a lot less revealing that izzy’s regular clothes. at least there’s no slutshaming! plus she’s gonna be wearing a jacket on top, but ofc everyone’s comfort levels are different.

I’m so glad that Clary and Izzy are both so positive towards each other. I mean compared to the books, not that bad

‘do you know how to fight demons?’ to ‘i’m an internet search away.’ simon’s the best. 😍😍

i mean, who in their right mind would approve the mission? sure, they’re not teenagers, but they’re messing with Valentine, for crying out loud. besides, we all know how much the clave prioritises down and out warlocks.

‘little girl’

‘clave thing,’ someone needs to educate this selfish matchstick. first of all, she can’t expect alec to turn his back on the clave, they need the clave’s resources to keep the institute running. second of all, she doesn’t really need to go. think about it, if alec, jace and izzy can track down a shapeshifter to a nightclub, they can handle a warlock. besides, she’d just be dead weight anyway. i just hate that clary doesn’t get better than this.

haha, alec’s salt kills me. ‘well, since you have all the answers...’

oh, so she’s not gonna explain the vision giving gemstone lolling around her neck? fuuun

‘you were kidding about the runes on the floor killing me right?’ alec’s smile aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. i love one grumpy cat smile so much. also this is like his first smile in the 2 eps

sorry, but magnus’s face when dot grabs his arm, just like ‘bitch who do you think you are?’

instant priorities people. see, magnus understands the concepts of ‘risk’, ‘danger’ and ‘consequences’, unlike one matchstick i won’t name. (“I’ve been busy trying to save our people from certain death”)

hahaha, the foreshadowing -> “are you really gonna risk your life for a shadowhunter?” - this is why magnus is my fave.

okay, couple really weird things i have to point out. first off, clary sucks at running. i get that running in heels is hard, i can’t even walk in them, but i can’t believe that the entire institute doesn’t have one good pair of sneakers. second, alec is just walking in the back, that’s how slow they’re going. third, are they seriously just following clary around the club on some strange whim instead of attacking the club strategically?

but seriously, her running though. her arms are just waggling around. seriously, guys, sneakers.

kay, clary is way too hyper right now. alec never said they were giving up, just that it wasn’t safe and they had to get back to the institute. which is absolutely true, if circle members are after dot in pandemonium, they’re probably in the vicinity

im sorry, but watching alec and izzy know exactly what jace is planning with the silent brothers and in sync just going ‘jace, no’

‘a process that can also kill you, so there’s that.’ i mean, what’s the downside?

‘your bedside manner is abysmal’ - kay, i’m still kinda pissed off rn so that’s probably coming across here, but dude, you are both adults and she needs to know the risks involved. how tf was he supposed to say that...not abysmally? sorry, im a big alec defender. i think its an older sibling thing.

wait, 18 rules? damn, jace has to have like a record or something. i reckon 18′s probably exaggerating. i’d guess at 10, maybe 12.

hold up, he’s asking clary to decide whether she should get her memories wrenched out of her by the silent brothers w/o knowing the risks involved? not a sound decision.

why is she so fucking smug towards alec? it’s kinda hard to see at first, you have to replay it a couple times. maybe it’s just me cuz im writing this late at night but her attitude towards alec really gets under my skin.

also, i think satan is on simon’s van. that’s not at all disconcerting

also, why is this all happening at night? and wasn’t isabelle making breakfast before?

‘are you kidding? i was born afraid.’ first of all, mood. second of all, proof why simon is my child.

tbh, i really wanted to see a better brotherhood between jace and alec. like, it is still better than in the books, where jace practically ignores alec’s existence until he gets injured by Abaddon. (a moment i wish was in the tv show, but too complicated, i understand.) but i think in this scene, where they discuss the steps they’re taking, you kind of see the chemistry between them. well, not really chemistry, maybe more just their relationship.

first off, alec tries explaining to jace that even though clary’s made the decision, they’re responsible for her wellbeing, something that isn’t in the book. i really appreciate this bit, primarily because you see why alec is so fussy about missions. as the season progresses, you see the kind of pressures that are on him, something that makes me hate clary all the more

second, jace counters this by giving him the bigger picture. this is a step they need to take to find valentine. i think that’s something the books don’t give you either. you kinda start seeing that without jace, alec gets stuck on the minor details i.e. rules, stipulations etc. and without alec, jace wouldn’t be able to calculate the risks of each decision, which i think is key to understanding them as parabatai.

third, alec’s soft little ‘you were never a stray’ tugs at my heartstrings every time. jace really is family to them, a brother for them and i love that he sort of forces that down; that despite their last names, despite their bloodlines, they will always be brothers, a sentiment i absolutely adore

haha, jace c*ckblocking simon since 2016

i’m still not over the notion that valentine is holed up in chernobyl, of all places. i am really glad though that they didn’t follow the trope of the US being like the only country in the world, or New York being the only city on the planet.

did i mention how confused i am that dot is still alive?

yeah, did not miss jace’s arrogance

‘kay despite the fact that i hate everything about her, i have to commend clary on how much she loves her mom. i mean, i know a lot of people who wouldn’t do the same. and despite the fact that jocelyn lied to her for 12 years (based on what she tells magnus later on) she’s still willing to do whatever it takes.

‘you’re clary freaking fray, you can do anything.’ cue alec eye-rolling in the back. look, it’s not that i have anything against simon and clary being vocal about their bff status, it’s just that a) i would never talk to my best friend like that and b) it is thoroughly making me cringe

kay, i’ve rewatched this scene a dozen times and here’s what i noticed

‘i have seen every horror movie ever and the funny best friend who gets left behind...dead man’

cue isabelle laughing

jace: you’re not that funny

alec is just so done with these f*cking mundanes. “the rune energy will kill any mundane that dares to enter, so please.” motions for the mundie to keep going.

kay, before i keep going, i’ve noticed this post is going on for a bit, and re-reading, i feel like i have to clarify why i dislike jace’s arrogance but not alec’s. i think it’s mainly because jace’s arrogance stems from a need to be superior to others, which is common with victims of child abuse, or so i’ve read. knowing this makes it a little harder to hate him, but this kind of behaviour, while is justifiable, often leads to them tearing down another person’s self-worth, which you can kind of see in the books. alec’s arrogance mainly stems from being exhausted from dealing with other people’s bullshit, which i can’t really dislike. i’m an older sibling myself, so i kinda know what he goes through dealing with siblings and such. you’ll see with the next point.

‘talk about sacrifice, i’m missing a financial analysis class.’ first off, what kind of class starts in the middle of the night? second, i’d rather be in the city of bones than in financial analysis. third, i feel alec’s exasperation.

‘yeah, i can’t be around this, so imma mind the perimeter.’ *gestures to simon’s entire body*

i dunno why clary’s hugging simon like that, it’s not like he’s the one going down there. i’m gonna move on before i overanalyse and come up with more ways why i don’t like clary

izzy keeps making simon uneasy and I LIVE FOR THESE MOMENTS

aight, imma keep it honest, i skipped the whole city of bones/clace section the first time cuz they’re so boring. but it’s pretty much just jace making stupid jokes and clary being kinda whiny.

‘looking better in black than the widows of our enemies.’ a line that lives rent-free in my head.

also, he keeps saying she’s a shadowhunter now, but she hasn’t done much shadowhunting. she doesn’t even know what the clave is

aand now they’re holding hands. great. very professional y’all.

silent brothers. looking creepy since the dawn of nephilim. but for my book stans, where’s brother smackariah?

imma be honest, i feel bad for the silent brothers. i mean, they’ve devoted themselves completely to the shadowhunter profession, mutilated themselves for the attainment of knowledge, and yet, the first thing that comes to mind is fear instead of admiration. yikers.

“if you are not strong enough, the soul sword will kill you.” this show needs to stop getting my hopes up

“it literally never stops talking.” i love alec with all my heart.

i know i shouldn’t but it’s so funny that they keep referring to simon as ‘it’

“my father is valentine.” cue matchstick running.

alec is the only sane person on this team. how is he the only one that doubts clary’s loyalty? i mean, i’ll admit he could have phrased it better, but book!Alec is canon for being straightforward so i’m shrugging it off. jace should’ve been a leetle understanding and for once, i think clary’s reaction towards alec was justified. finding out she’d valentine’s daughter, and then being accused of espionage isn’t a fortunate series of events. but alec is correct in his own right. as head of the institute, he needs to make sure. again, he’s always mindful of the consequences behind his actions. even when simon is kidnapped, he doesn’t act rashly, even though no-one would blame him for sticking an arrow through Raphael for kidnapping Simon. (don’t get me wrong, i love raphael.) but he doesn’t, keeping the accords in mind. they’d all be screwed if they broke the law, and alec would be held responsible.

that’s all folks. tune in tomorrow for episode 3

#shadowhunters #the mortal instruments #anti clary fray #anti clary fairchild #anti clary #alec lightwood #Jace Herondale #jace wayland #jace #alec #izzy #simon lewis #isabelle lightwood #clary fairchild

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cheshiresense · 4 years

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Ok so Im going to take this chance and go wild: GiottoxMukuro + Bad Vongola AU

UM. So, I sort of just sat on this last one cuz what even lmao. I checked AO3 and omg this ship exists??? but there’s like just two fics under it. But alright, here’s my stab at this very random pairing, it doesn’t even quite get all the way to a pairing, but I gave them both page time and at least you gave me something new to try XD Sorry it’s so late.

ALSO YAY I FINISHED ALL TEN

1. Ok so! First thing’s first - how do I stick these two into the same time period? Either full AU or time travel/reincarnation fuckery. Let’s go with reincarnation. Sort of. Where Neo Primo is literally Neo Primo ;)

Tsuna is dead. They’re in the future arc, he’s being forced to take the boss trial, and Hibari suffocates him just a little too long. So Tsuna dies at the feet of his ancestors, and Giotto is forced to witness the death of a fourteen-year-old boy who had never asked for any of this bloodshed but had also never backed down from it, never folded, even under the pressure of so many Vongola bosses. And Giotto is angry. He has spent centuries watching his beloved Vongola become mired in blood and sin, built on an empire of corpses and suffering. He is so sick of it, of not being able to do anything about it, but his latest descendant is dead, and his body is empty of a soul, and in that moment, more than anything else, all Giotto wants is a chance to act, to be something other than helpless, to fix even just a little of what his bloodline has broken.

Will and Flames and desperation are powerful things when combined.

Next thing Giotto knows, he’s opening his eyes to a cold-looking training room, the remains of a cage that killed a fourteen-year-old boy splintering around him, and it barely takes a thought for his Flames to surge up and out and slam the Cloud - Hibari Kyouya - into the far wall with a viciousness Giotto had spent the majority of his first life keeping under wraps. For a split second, he almost kills the Cloud for his gall. A Guardian who could murder his own Sky - however well-intentioned or unknowingly - is no Guardian at all, but then, out of all of the Tenth Generation, as far as Giotto can tell, not a single one of them had had a real bond with Tsuna. The one who’d come closest had been the Mist, but after ten years and the weight of Vongola’s sins on his shoulders, even that connection had dissolved.

If Giotto is honest, the person Tsuna had become ten years later under the crushing pressure of that Sun Arcobaleno and the Vongola had been near unrecognizable compared to the boy Giotto had so admired. But that man is dead, at least for now, dragged under by too many enemies and too many bad decisions, and all that’s left is this younger version, dragged to the future against his will and forced to fight a war of someone else’s making.

Not even that anymore obviously, and all that’s left is Giotto, a bloody legacy to his name and too many regrets to pay for. All he can do is live out Tsuna’s life now and hopefully undo some of the damage Vongola has wrought. Tsuna wouldn’t want him killing this Cloud though, and so Giotto lets him go in the end. Hibari gets to his feet, something bloodthirsty and thrilled gleaming in his eyes, completely ignorant of the fact that he’d killed his Sky, and all Giotto can think as he recalls the way Tsuna had always had to bribe this man for him to even consider helping is how Alaude must be rolling in his grave.

“I’m done,” He says instead, slicing a cool look around the room, and then he walks out, back to his room. Nobody stops him, but Giotto wouldn’t have stopped him either, with the shadow of his Flames licking across the concrete floor.

2. Giotto does his duty. Ten years in the future is far too late to really change anything significant, so the faster he takes care of business here, the sooner they can all go home. In the meantime, it amuses him - in a funny world-burning sort of way - how none of Tsuna’s friends seems to realize anything is wrong, that the boy they profess their loyalty to is gone, and his body has been usurped by an interloper. Giotto considers himself a decent enough actor, but for a bunch of Flame-actives with Vongola rings on their fingers and Guardian titles to their names, they’re a rather oblivious lot.

(All of Tsuna’s past and present and future sits in his memories now though, and Giotto can’t say he’s terribly surprised. The person these children wanted to follow was never actually the boy Tsuna had been, not entirely. They pay attention to the parts of him that they like, and ignore the rest like they don’t exist. It infuriates Giotto, because Tsuna deserved better, but Tsuna is dead, and even if Giotto has every intention of at the very least demoting them from their Guardian positions once they’re finished here, he cannot truly harm these children Tsuna had called friends.)

So he does his duty, fights the battles people want him to fight, and smiles blandly back in the face of Reborn’s suspicious glances. That hitman at least can sense something is off, if only because his student no longer cringes or screams, but no one save the Vongola bosses knows the details of what happens in the Vongola Trial, and it’s easy enough to balance Reborn’s misgivings with that.

It’s fun though, messing with the pseudo-baby. The last time Reborn tried to shoot him awake in the morning, Giotto had set the entire room on fire and ended up singeing off Reborn’s sideburns. The resulting training session had been grueling, but it had been worth finally getting back at the man first responsible for more or less browbeating Tsuna into obedience.

Pettiness aside, Giotto does put effort into training. Tsuna’s body is in decent shape, but it could be even better, so Giotto does his best to make it so. The weapons of the future are something of a marvel too, and he smiles indulgently at the full-grown wing-adorned flame-pelted Leone di Cieli that gracefully leaps out to greet him, but in the privacy of his rooms, he lets his Flames swirl free and summons the phoenix that had been his constant companion in his first life, the soul of his Flames, his will made sentient.

“Natsu,” He names the lion, after Tsuna, and welcomes Persephone home as she does a sweep of his bedroom before landing light and delicate on his shoulder, the way she’d always done in battle.

The looks on everyone’s faces when they see her with him is enough to make Giotto smile for the next week.

3. It becomes clear soon enough that they’re going to need all hands on deck for the final confrontation against Millefiore, but even before that, Giotto begins asking some pointed questions that Tsuna had thought but hadn’t quite been brave enough to ask.

“When are we getting my Mist out of Vendicare?” He enquires one night over dinner, and smiles pleasantly as everyone freezes. “We require all the aid we can get, yes? And Mukuro has always been strong.”

“Jyuudaime!” Hayato is the first to burst out, chair skidding back with how emphatically he stands up. “We don’t need that bastard!” Giotto looks at him, not a twitch in his expression, impenetrable as ice even as he keeps his features soft, and Hayato falters. “Or- Or even if we do, he can just possess Dokuro! He can’t be trusted if we let him out!”

Giotto stirs more sugar into his coffee - rich and sweet, gave G a minor aneurysm every time he saw it - just the way he likes it. “So we make him serve, and offer nothing in return?”

Giotto waits out the confused spluttering around him. Reborn is drilling holes into the side of his head but he pays the baby no mind.

“He has been imprisoned for ten years,” Giotto continues in mild tones. “And has remained loyal all this time, si?” He glances briefly at Chrome, the younger one, who stares back, meek and mute. She is loyal to Mukuro above all others, and it would’ve been so very easy for him to influence her into betraying Vongola - betraying Tsuna - anytime.

That he hadn’t, in all this time, is… something. It’s something. The lingering threads of a frayed potential bond. The stubborn refusal to give up something he’d once perhaps considered his. A promise once given - keep my people safe and you will have my allegiance - and never broken, not by Mukuro.

People have often remarked on how similar the First and Tenth Generations are. Personally, Giotto has never seen two sets of people so different.

“I wish to free him,” He says at last, over the voices of those trying to convince him otherwise. “Loyalty deserves loyalty returned. Whatever else he used to be, he has bled in my service for ten years. Surely that is enough to justify his release?”

It is not a question, and everyone knows it. Reborn is all but glaring now. He doesn’t like this new Tsuna who does not cower even in the face of his bullets.

Giotto is spiteful enough to enjoy every moment of it.

It is Takeshi who relents first. “Okay,” He says, all easy agreement and assessing eyes, and maybe this one at least is not so far removed from Ugetsu’s blood after all. “But how are we gonna do that? Vendicare’s hard to break into, right?”

Hayato - the only mafia-raised of the lot - looks positively horrified. “It’s not hard, Baseball Freak, it’s impossible!”

“But Mukuro already broke out twice, didn’t he?”

“Yes,” Giotto interjects, smiling at Takeshi, who preens a little under the attention and is in some ways possibly the most insane of them all. Giotto does have a fondness for those who consider laws as guidelines at best. “So, I suppose we need a Mist.” He takes a gulp of his coffee. “The Varia has a new one these days, don’t they?”

Three conferences, five one-sided shouting matches, and a hefty sum of money transferred over to the Varia accounts later, Giotto has secured Xanxus’ partly baffled, mostly irritated agreement for Fran’s services. Fran turns out to be a rather… precocious young man, but he has Mist Flames and skills that almost rival Mukuro’s, and Giotto is relatively content to leave the breakout to him.

His confidence is not misplaced. Days and half a dozen more battles later, with Byakuran grandstanding across from him, Giotto’s entire ill-fitted, misfit Family is gathered, and the First Generation appears at Giotto’s silent command to unseal the Vongola rings.

(All of them know what he is, the soul peering out from behind Tsuna’s eyes. But in this one moment, not even Daemon gives him away, and Giotto is free to finally unleash his carefully controlled wrath on the Family that had decimated his.)

Millefiore doesn’t stand a chance.

4. “You are not Sawada Tsunayoshi,” Mukuro - the older one - says in deceptively light tones as he joins Giotto on the balcony. It’s late, the night before they would all finally return to the past, and the two of them are probably the only ones still awake.

“No,” Giotto confirms, because there’s no hiding it from this man. “I’m afraid Sawada Tsunayoshi perished in Kyouya’s Box Weapon when he and Reborn attempted to force a Vongola Trial.”

Mukuro, staring out at the sprawling woods before them, does not visibly react, does not even move. For a moment, it doesn’t even seem like he’s breathing, and that’s what gives him away.

Giotto does not say he is sorry. He is, for this, and for too many other things to list, but whatever connection had formed between Tsuna and his Mist had been lost a long time ago, and sorry only sounds trite in the face of such a travesty. The only reason Mukuro had never drifted away, Giotto suspects, was because the Mist had refused to let go. Mukuro himself would never admit it, perhaps never even acknowledge it to himself, but if there was one thing Giotto had always envied Tsuna for, it was his ability to earn a Mist’s devotion so completely.

(And so it had hurt all the more to watch the years go by as Tsuna allowed Vongola to convince him to leave Mukuro in Vendicare. Hurt most of all to realize, one day, that Tsuna no longer cared so long as Mukuro continued reporting in and doing as he was told.)

“What will you do with my younger self?” Mukuro eventually asks, carefully void of every emotion save for the thinnest veneer of detached interest.

“Free him,” Giotto replies promptly, seeing no need for word games here. Reborn had tried to interrogate him about his Vongola Trial, and Giotto had given him every answer but a straight one. It had been highly entertaining. “If he wishes, he will have a place in my Famiglia. If he does not, then I will ensure he is able to start a new life elsewhere with his people, without Vongola dogging their every step.” He pauses, absently considering his hands, more solid than they’ve been in four hundred years. “Even Tsunayoshi’s fear of Reborn was not enough to stop him from asking repeatedly after you. This is the least I can do for your younger self when Tsunayoshi worried about him so often.”

Mukuro scoffs, a hollow puff of air that fades to nothing. “Had he a few more years in him, you would’ve had nothing to concern yourself with.”

Giotto inclines his head in acknowledgement but says nothing more. There is probably no one who knew Tsuna - who fought him and lost to him and understood him - more than Mukuro. The Mist doesn’t need Giotto expounding on the rise and fall of one of the brightest and most short-lived Skies the world would ever see.

“You will not tell the others about me?” Giotto asks instead, more curious than any kind of anxious about it.

Mukuro tips a mocking facsimile of a smile in his direction, looking him straight-on for the first time since his arrival. “What business is it of mine, if Vongola wishes to destroy itself?”

Giotto half-smiles, half-grimaces. He supposes this is hardly a surprise either; it was never Vongola that Mukuro swore unspoken fealty to.

So instead, he reaches out, gently catching one of Mukuro’s hands in his own and knowing he can only because Mukuro allows it. Mismatched eyes watch him like a hawk, a derisive curl on his lips that freezes when Giotto presses the flickering heat of a piece of Sky Flame into his palm.

Then he steps back, once, twice, enough room to sketch an esoteric bow, too formal for this age but recognizable enough here and now if Mukuro’s sharp intake of breath is anything to go by.

Gratitude. Apology. And a dissolution of debt and duty between Guardian and Sky.

If Mukuro so wishes, even after Giotto is gone, the shard of Sky will ensure a clean break from Vongola, and not even Sawada Tsunayoshi will be able to track his former Guardian down. It is all Giotto can offer him.

He straightens, glancing at the piece of Sky now settled into the shimmering form of a phoenix feather. A new life, if Mukuro wants it.

He meets the Mist’s gaze. Mukuro is the first to look away, fingers curling around the feather, eyes on the horizon, and he doesn’t speak again.

Giotto nods, takes his leave, and he does not see the Mist again, not this version at least. Once time straightens itself out, the adult Tsuna of this universe will return, and while Millefiore is no longer a threat, Vongola - and its Decimo - will still be the same stagnant bloodstained mess.

There is nothing Giotto can do about that, but at the back of his mind, he wonders if it wouldn’t have been better after all to have let Millefiore wipe Vongola out.

5. Later, much later, after a jailbreak and Daemon and a broken curse, Giotto and his Guardians - still no bonds, but he can’t seem to find a good time to get rid of them, so maybe instead of that, he can educate them to be better - sit down for a Family dinner at the most upscale banquet hall Namimori has to offer, with the Ninth and his men, the CEDEF and even Varia. They’re in public so everyone has their law-abiding citizen face on, but (a redo of) the Inheritance Ceremony is imminent, and Timoteo smiles, sly and pleased that all the pieces have finally fallen into place. He waves Giotto into the seat on his immediate right and doesn’t even question how very little Giotto resembles Tsuna these days, ascribing the changes to Reborn’s training and recent battles and growing up, and looking no further than that.

The food is good, Italian but cooked by the best chefs on Vongola payroll. Giotto stares Kyouya into grudging silence over the fare, and then he focuses on chatting amicably with Timoteo, weaving smooth flattery into casual but attentive conversation the way he’d learned to do a lifetime ago.

Giotto watched Timoteo grow up. There is no skeleton in his closet that Giotto did not witness him stashing away. But he is old and past his prime and he will soon learn that his successor is not as easy to control as he’d hoped, as he thinks, so Giotto can smile back now and give him his momentary triumph, smile and sip his wine and not let his eyes linger on every bite of food Timoteo takes.

During a lull in the conversation, he turns and catches Mukuro’s eye. His Mist is seated beside his female counterpart, all the way at the end of the line, farthest from his Sky to any outsider’s eye. But Mukuro smirks back from behind his cloth napkin, and as the Nono’s dessert is carried in, the faint twist of Mist Flames - unnoticed by all except two - darts into the panna cotta.

Timoteo eats his fill, compliments the chef, beams at Giotto’s gently filial fussing again like the kindly grandfather he excels at pretending to be, and nobody thinks to question how masterfully Giotto draws all attention to himself and his rowdier Guardians, never letting the generally jovial mood falter, his Sky Flames a subtle pulsing encouragement beneath it all to distract them from the knife at their backs.

The whole affair is a success. At the very least, nobody threw any food, no fights broke out, and no one lost their tempers. It almost feels like a miracle.

They part ways in groups, and to their credit, Hayato and Kyouya only try to kill each other after the elder Vongola party is gone. It doesn’t take long for Ryouhei to join in, and at a glance from Mukuro, Chrome scoops Lambo up and picks up her pace to catch up to a laughing Takeshi.

Mukuro falls into step beside Giotto. Giotto had asked, after the Arcobaleno business was finally over, if Mukuro would stay. Mukuro had asked what Giotto would offer if he did.

“A place in my Family, for you and yours,” Giotto had sworn. “And a hand in toppling the Vongola Empire once and for all.”

Mukuro had smiled, ten years’ worth of another world’s memories behind it, and six lives’ worth of suffering driving his answer.

“Tsunayoshi would never have chosen this method,” Mukuro says now, voice pitched low but as idly as if he were commenting on the weather.

Giotto smiles, grim and long past the point of any return.

Tsuna was his favourite. He reminded Giotto of the man he used to be, when Vongola was still a goal wrapped in optimism and determination, before they’d become embroiled in the mafia and Giotto had spent the next four hundred years after his death watching his life’s work build itself a throne of corpses.

Tsuna was his favourite, but he was also an ideal Giotto won’t ever be again, and cannot be if he truly wants to see this iteration of Vongola dead in his second lifetime. Tsuna would’ve been eaten alive by Vongola - Giotto had seen an entire future’s worth of proof of that.

“I am not Tsunayoshi,” Giotto says, and it is another regret he will have to carry, but their world is neither kind nor fair, and Tsuna as he was would never have survived it.

Mukuro studies him, a thoughtful tilt to his head, and something like fascination glitters in his eyes. “No, you are not,” He agrees. “But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”

Giotto glances at him, then ahead, at children who had almost killed and been almost killed mere days ago, now roughhousing amongst themselves. “The world could do with more Tsunayoshis.”

“The world needs more of you,” Mukuro retorts just as swiftly, a sardonic sort of amusement in his smirk. “In that other future, Tsunayoshi proved beyond a doubt that everything he promised, he couldn’t keep, didn’t he? And yet here you are, Vongola Primo, poisoning your enemies over dinner, and just yesterday you had me hide you while you met with Gesso and Simon and Giglio Nero in private. You certainly don’t waste any time.” His smirk widens. “If Vongola isn’t careful, you’ll turn half of Europe against the older generation before they realize it.”

Giotto hums and doesn’t deny any of it. “You would be willing to aid me though?”

Mukuro arches an eyebrow, and his right eye flickers briefly with Mist Flames. “Have I not been doing so already?”

Giotto nods. “Yes, and I am grateful. But lending a hand now is not the same as devoting at least the next ten years of your life to a goal most would consider impossible. And I am not Tsunayoshi.”

Mukuro’s steps slow, then stop entirely. Giotto blinks and halts as well, half-turning.

“Does that matter so much to you?” Mukuro asks, peering at him with surprisingly genuine puzzlement. “Do you think it matters so much to me? That you are not Tsunayoshi?”

Giotto half-shrugs, and Mukuro shakes his head. “Tsunayoshi had a heart that I will never fully understand,” He says, blunt in a way he almost never is. “He was naive and foolish, hopeful and soft, and it made him as weak as it made him strong. I could trust him to never turn on Chrome or Ken or Chikusa, even if they or I tested his tolerance, but by that same logic, I could never have trusted him to stand firm against Vongola’s ideals, no matter what he proclaimed. And I was right, wasn’t I? In the end, Vongola destroyed him, and he became one of them.”

He pauses, his gaze sliding away, hands coming together to twist one of the rings on his fingers. Then he looks back at Giotto, and his next smirk is equal parts challenge and approval. “You though. You have witnessed the results of letting your previous Mist Guardian walk free, and spent years watching your descendants commit atrocities in the name of strengthening your organization. If I were to promise you my loyalty, and then betray you sometime down the road, you would slit my throat yourself. But at the same time, at least I know - you are both ruthless enough and determined enough to see your objectives through to the end, with a conviction that’s centuries in the making. The current Vongola would have to kill you to stop you.” His right eye flares indigo again. “So I suppose that is where I come in.”

Up ahead, the others turn a corner, still bickering. Giotto thinks Takeshi has probably noticed that he and Mukuro have fallen behind, and of course Chrome knows, but neither of them stops to wait either.

Mukuro steps back, once, twice, and Giotto’s eyes widen as the Mist lifts a hand to brush over the earring he hasn’t stopped wearing since he got it. And then… well.

The Mukuro from the future must’ve known how because this Mukuro doesn’t even look awkward as he drops to one knee and bows his head, just a dip, slow enough to look deliberate, proud enough to meet Giotto’s gaze again afterwards.

“You asked for ten years, Neo Primo,” Mukuro announces. “So, very well, I will pledge you ten years of my life, for you to use as you see fit, so long as you keep your word. We can revisit this in a decade, but for the next ten years, I will make you untouchable to your enemies and sow discord amongst them in your name.” He smiles and it’s a mad and bloodthirsty thing, the same furious hateful beast he’d aimed at Daemon Spade when he’d sought to rip Chrome from Mukuro’s side. “And should the worst come to pass and I go the way of my predecessor, may my life be forfeit at your hands.”

He reaches up, catches Giotto’s hand in his own, and his red eye glows as orange and indigo burst into existence between their fingers, a blaze of light under the night sky as they twine together, fierce and unyielding and true.

They both gasp from the surge of power that rushes through them as the Guardian bond snaps into place, the first one Giotto will ever have in this body, the first one in over four hundred years, a core of Flame that promises a home, something Daemon had never been able to give him, and Giotto doesn’t even think before he’s yanking Mukuro to his feet and reeling him close.

Tsuna had been short for his age so Giotto isn’t quite eye-level with his new Mist, but it hardly matters when he curls a near-bruising grip along Mukuro’s jaw and sees the same hunger and possessiveness he feels reflected in the illusionist’s eyes.

“A Guardian bond is not something I take lightly,” Giotto murmurs, and he knows even without a mirror that his own Flames are burning in his eyes. “You are mine now, and I do not share. In ten years, you will pledge another ten, and another ten after that, and any who dare to try and take you from me, I would run rivers red with their lifeblood.”

(These oaths are old, old and binding and near-forgotten, bastardized ten ways to Sunday but still echoing of power, and even in Giotto’s time, only G and Ugetsu had sworn them. That his new reign would begin with one, when as far as Giotto knows, none have spoken them in centuries - perhaps it speaks of the dawn of a new age.)

Mukuro inhales shakily, not at all prepared for the sheer depth and intensity of a true Flame bond. But the grip he has on Giotto’s wrist is just as tight as Giotto’s, and it only takes him another breath to regain his bearings.

“As you Will it, Giotto,” Mukuro murmurs, and it crackles over Giotto’s skin. No one has spoken his name since his resurrection.

The bond settles between them, calm now but no less potent. Giotto lets go, tickling a tongue of Sun-tinted Sky Flame along Mukuro’s skin to soothe the sting left behind. Mukuro only huffs a breath of laughter, gaze still unwavering on Giotto’s face.

“Well then,” The Mist - Giotto’s Mist - smiles, quieter, more serene, like a glass-spun secret cloaked in shadow, but exultantly bright all the same. “Long live the new King. May your reign be long and prosperous.”

#khr #headcanon meme: answered #giotto #rokudo mukuro #G69 #vongola famiglia #headcanon #there we go g69 wow i didn't think i could do it #lmfao they're both prob way ooc #but that's how it came out

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a11235carrot · 3 years

Text

Ever Onwards-Dragons?

"Naruto Uzumaki" Normal speech

"Naruto Uzumaki" Normal thoughts

"Kurama" Big guy speech

"Kurama" Big guy thoughts

Chapter 1

"Naruto!"

"Sasuke!"

"Shannaro!"

Three voices intertwined as their owners finally triumphed over the greatest threat the Elemental Nations has ever faced.

Pale, royal lavender Byakugan eyes helplessly glared with hatred at the reincarnations of Indra and Ashura as the sun and moon reached out to forever shatter her dreams of eternal peace. "Im…possible. For me, the mother of all chakra, to be bested by the wretched offspring of Hagoromo." Alabaster fists, capable of ending all of existence, tightly clenched as Kaguya Ōtsutsuki bitterly railed against her oncoming defeat. Suddenly, just as she felt Naruto and Sasuke grip her shoulders, her hate filled all-seeing eyes spotted her only path of freedom, the seal on the belly of the glowing blond who, out of the two, managed to humiliate and infuriate her the most.

"If my fate is to once again be sealed…"

"RIKUDŌ: CHIBAKU TENSEI!"

"...then you shall suffer with me!"

The instant Naruto and Sasuke finished the strongest sealing jutsu, a giant black sphere of impossible gravitational power emerged, forcing even Kaguya, the progenitor of chakra, up into the sky. As she drew closer to the orb, wisps of dark blue streams swiftly turned into raging rivers as Kaguya's god-like chakra constantly streamed from her body into the seal, strengthening its already powerful gravitational pull to the point of distorting space itself.

Below, the earth tore itself asunder as distant mountain ranges cracked and groaned before violently hurtling up towards the Rabbit Goddess, forming a giant prison not unlike the distant moon in space.

"Finally, it's done." Back down on the ruined earth, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi all relaxed when they saw Kaguya about to be completely hidden from view.

However, just as the two incarnations of the Sage's sons were about to send the second moon into space, the enormous ball of compressed earth and stone suddenly trembled, causing bits of rocks to tumble to the ground. Yet none of them noticed the tremor since the unbreakable prison was already shaking from all of the tons of earth to begin with.

That didn't last long.

With a last burst of her godly chakra, Kaguya shuttled her prison between dimensions towards the quartet, who only now began to realize something was wrong when a black rift in space abruptly swallowed her.

"What the…"

Naruto, still garbed in both Kurama's and the Rikudō Sennin's Yang chakra, uttered his astonishment before widening his crossed eyes in shock when Kaguya's prison teleported not twenty feet above him.

"Oi, Sasuke! What the hell is going…AHHHH!"

Then, before Sasuke's shocked mystic eyes, a scene unpleasantly reminding him of when Madara absorbed the God Tree into himself occurred just hours earlier happen to his only friend.

But it was what he heard and saw that raised the hairs on the back of his neck.

Unlike the mad Uchiha, Naruto - the same person who would go to ridiculous lengths to hide away his suffering - was screaming out in terrifying agony as bloody cracks ripped apart his skin, swiftly dyeing his clothes a hideous red, before closing up thanks to his powerful regeneration...only to open again.

And again.

And again until the ground beneath was soaked in blood.

Through it all, an ugly grimace etched itself on his whiskered visage as what was equivalent to more than double an entire world's worth of chakra - determined to do nothing else but make its new host experience a living hell - maliciously barged into the seal that currently contained only the Yin half of Kurama.

"Kurama, what…the hell is going on in here!" Tearing his attention away from the pain and into his mindscape, a kneeling Naruto bore witness to what equated to a second moon pushing its way into the Kyuubi's cage, the bars that once held back the fox beginning to crumble and shatter under its impossible weight and presence. Had he been anyone else, his body would have simply evaporated, leaving nothing behind except a giant construct of rock and goddess as his tombstone. As it were, the only thing preventing this from happening or his chakra pathways outright shattering was a giant nine-tailed fox with dark russet fur desperately pushing against Kaguya's prison, only allowing the foreign object to slowly enter as the seal attempted to readjust itself.

"Hold on brat! Just hold on a little longer! Kaguya must have used the last burst of chakra under her control to teleport herself into your seal!"

"I…see." A crimson eye twitched. "NO I DON'T! HOW THE HELL DID SHE DO THAT AND OWOWOWOW…"

"SHUT IT BRAT, I'M A LITTLE BUSY OVER HERE! AND HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT SUPER GRANNY OVER HERE DID?!" Kurama ferociously roared as he was steadily pushed back further into the seal by the moon.

"…!" Naruto didn't bother answering back as he was yanked back into the real world from a sudden jerk on the back of his shredded jacket. Flipping through the air, the first thing he saw and felt was solid stone as his face bounced off of Hashirama's arm. Arms trembling, his vision blurred and twisted by the body-ripping agony, he shakily pulled himself back on his feet, only for his gut to sink when he saw his brother from another life stand opposite of him.

A Chidori chirping on his hand.

60 Years Later

Fragile russet brown leaves, cracked and dried as they always were at this time of year, faintly rustled as the cool wind of Fall whispered through the boughs of the trees surrounding the Uchiha compound before falling to join the small, colorful tornado of leaves swirling above the ground, much to the delight of children running around the compound. Just a few blocks away, the barking of Inuzaka clan dogs intertwined with the sharp chirps of birds could be heard all over Konoha as the sun rose to greet the new day. Only the faint wisps of smoke that rose from budding industry marred the otherwise picturesque scene.

All in all, it was a normal day for the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

Yet, as laughter and barks drifted through the air, the Uchiha compound was silent, the heavy, almost tangible, atmosphere hanging above a stark contrast to the one outside. No light or signs of life could be seen from the rows of old, but well-maintained, houses, except for one deep within the ancestral area. Inside, behind a pair of thin paper walls and beneath a blanket laid a man with pitch-black hair and streaks of silver running through it, inky eyes, and a missing left arm shorn off near the elbow. His face and build, once the object of rabid affection from women across the Elemental Nations, now withered and lined with age.

On each side of him knelt two people. On his left was a woman with pale pink hair, startling green eyes, and a fading violet diamond on her wrinkled forehead. Faint lines marked the edges of her lips and eyes, the legendary seal taught by her master now losing its potency in her advanced age; yet, such trivial blemishes did nothing to diminish the gentle smile that played on her lips as she gazed down at her husband. On the opposite side sat someone who didn't seem to quite belong: a young man with sun-kissed blonde hair, eyes as blue as a cloudless summer sky, three whisker-like birthmarks on each cheek, and a right arm completely wrapped in bandages covered in a myriad of minute black seals. If not for his radically different features, he could've been mistaken as the son or even grandson of the old couple before him.

For several minutes, none spoke as dust lightly settled on the soft mats. Yet, despite the depressing air surrounding them, there was a sense of peace and comfort brought along with years of friendship and complete trust in the other. Finally, it was the bedridden man who broke the silence.

"Dobe, Sakura, I'm cough cough!" A string of coughs broke Sasuke's sentence. Only after Sakura, her hands speeding through seals with almost nonchalant ease, passed a glowing green hand over his chest did he stop. Taking a deep breath, he locked eyes with the man he called friend. "I'm dying…and there is something I must -"

A grunt interrupted his words. "Tch, you've been saying that for the past couple of years ya damn bastard. Yet here you are, still breathing and going on about that insane plan of yours. I've said it before and I'll say it again! With the power of the Six Paths and your eyes, you can still live for a few more years with Sakura and Sarada! Come on Sakura, you have to back me up on this." Naruto retorted with his arms crossed before his chest, glancing between the two as he pleaded for them to see reason, hoping to trigger even a fraction of the unyielding resolution Sasuke used to have. However, the worry in his eyes betrayed him.

Off to the side, Sakura merely sighed, not bothering to give a straight answer, having long agreed with Sasuke's proposal.

Suddenly, just as Sasuke was about to respond, a shudder wracked Naruto's powerful frame as pain capable of driving a god insane coursed through his body. Slowly, his shaking form started to keel over, and would have if not for the thin layer of gold flames which erupted from within. As his companion from birth undid the changes that took place in his very genes, Naruto spat out a small wad of blood before righting himself.

Through it all, neither of his friends bothered to react, as if used to the sight of someone capable of punching a hole through the moon losing control of his body, the only sign of worry reflected within their eyes while the scent of rusted iron filled the air.

"Even after all these years, you're still a dobe." Sasuke chuckled quietly, more amused than angry at the weak attempt to rile him up; he knew Naruto meant nothing by it. His eyes grew misty as he remembered all the times they clashed, whether it be with words or their fists, each bruise and scar a proud reminder of their times together. As he watched Naruto wipe the blood from his lips, he mentally sighed, "How time has flown by..."

Before he could sink deeper into nostalgia, a streak of agony lanced up his crippled arm. He winced at the unwelcome surprise.

"Enough, the past is the past. There is work to be done."

Taking a deep breath, Sasuke glowered at the stubborn blond, lifting his decrepit body inch by inch with a trembling arm. "Hn, do you take me for a fool, or do you think me so blind as to not see the seal holding both Kaguya and Kurama is already on its last legs, not to mention your body is already breaking down at the seams? How long do you have? A day? A week? Maybe a month? Maybe you even have a year, but by then, when that bitch finally claws her way out of that seal, I won't be able to even stand never mind fight! And you?" His voice trailed off, the room still trembling under the force of his fury and chakra.

Flopping back into bed, beads of sweat rolled over his heaving chest as he cursed how weak he was. Yet not once did his eyes leave Naruto's, his tone now soft, almost begging for him to see the inevitable. With a sense of finality, he delivered the finishing blow.

"And you...you will be dead. Either by internal combustion, or by her hand after she rips Kurama from your belly. Along with everyone else."

For a moment, nobody said anything, for how could they? No matter how Naruto wanted to deny, yell at his friend he was wrong, that there was always another way, his throat choked up before he could say the words.

Because the bastard was right, as he usually was.

When he saw Naruto stay quiet, Sasuke seized the opportunity to say the words that had to be said.

"Only when Yin and Yang combine back into one will you be able to preserve your body from breaking down anymore than it has already. And with my eyes, you will be able to resist Kaguya's pull on the Jūbi and only then stand a chance against her." He paused for a second before adding, "Perhaps your seal will even stabilize and give you time to adapt to your new powers."

Naruto irritably rubbed the back of his head as he sighed in frustration.

"Maybe my the changes to my body can be halted. Maybe the seal will stabilize. There are too many maybe's! You already know I'm at my limit, what with the old man's Yang chakra, Kurama and Kaguya, not to mention my own considerable reserves. I'll give you a maybe too. Maybe I'll explode the moment you transfer your Yin chakra and damn pinkeyes into my skull! There are just too...many...maybe's for this 'plan' of yours to work!"

It was a weak reason, and Naruto knew it.

Sakura knew it.

And Sasuke definitely knew it. And he made sure Naruto knew he knew. Ignoring how his body protested the motion, the elder Uchiha forced his body back up into a sitting position.

"Idiot!"

In response, Naruto slapped his hands down on the mat...or rather through it.

"Brooding emo!"

A hint of red and violet emerged within the inky darkness as Sharingan and Rinnegan whirled to life.

"Knucklehead!"

Ha! That's a compliment you son of-!"

Just as the two seemed ready to leap at each other to brawl it out, a hand appeared behind their skulls.

"ENOUGH!"

Smash!

A certain someone finally couldn't stand it any longer as her legendary temper, rumored to even surpass her mentor's, burst to life as she slammed her teammates' heads together until all they could see was stars. Finally, as the two legends slumped to the ground, a lone figure stood tall, her figure illuminated by the morning sun as rested her hands on her hips, green eyes ablaze with victory and exasperation alike.

"Ow, Sakura, what was that for?/Hn, was that really necessary?" Their complaints quickly petered out when they saw the culprit raise her glowing fist in warning. Seeing them simmer down, Sakura withdrew her fist to point at Naruto.

"Naruto, listen, and I mean really listen. I'm only going to say this once. You've already heard Sasuke's reasons for transferring his powers to you, and there's nothing wrong with what he said. So I won't say anything more about that. But there's something else you must consider. You know that the Elemental Nations have changed, for better or worse. Peace is now the name of the game and with everything you've worked for, power such as yours and Sasuke's is no longer needed in the new society, not with everyone across the land being so goody goody towards one another. Even the shinobi way is dying out, with the lack of wars and safer roads. It can be seen everywhere. Last year, only two children signed up for the Shinobi Academy and even then, they soon dropped out to become...businessmen. Not to mention the recent Kages are a joke compared to the past ones; some haven't even seen death."

The light in their eyes dimmed as they thought of how a core part of their childhood was dying out. However, they had come to terms with this long ago; the tradition of the shinobi was one built on blood and hatred and no longer had a place in the new age of peace. Lowering her hand, Sakura sat back down, her face slightly pale with exhaustion as her other hand sought for Sasuke's.

"Naruto, the last shinobi who could be considered true shinobi was Sarada's generation. Soon, the shinobi will cease to exist after her generation passes on, but you...should you survive the coming fight, you will be the last shinobi. So just take it, take the gift that he is offering, even if it's just a way to remind you of us after we pass on." Sakura softly said as she held her husband's hand.

A minute passed while Naruto tightly clenched his fists as his mouth opened and closed while trying to form words to somehow dissuade them. But to no avail. Shoulders slumped, his head drooped down in defeat.

"Do it then. Do it before I change my mind." Naruto softly whispered.

With hardly a pause, a paper seal slapped down on the back of his neck. As he slumped towards the floor, the last thing he felt was a slight body holding him before gently laying him down next the bed.

"Finally, it's done." Sasuke whispered; the corner of his lips quirked up as what seemed to be the weight of the world fell off his shoulders. As Naruto lost consciousness, he looked back to his wife's face to see two tracks of tears spilling out from her eyes as she fussed about with the blond's eternally spiky hair in preparation for the surgery. Stretching out a trembling hand, the last reincarnation of Indra took hold of his friend's right hand.

"At last, the cycle is broken. Perhaps, this is another form of revolution as the old man foretold..." Preparing to transfer his half of Hagoromo's power as well his own chakra reserves, Sasuke glanced up at his wife for over fifty year's glistening eyes before an uncharacteristically large grin broke out on his face.

"I love you Sakura. See you on the other side."

A small chuckle squeezed past Sakura's lips even as more tears dripped down her cheeks when she saw that smile. Leaning down, she tenderly kissed him placing a seal on his chest.

The last thing Uchiha Sasuke, Savior of the World, Last Reincarnation of Indra, heard was, "I know, Sasuke-kun. Have a good rest."

Then he saw nothing.

One Hour Later

As Naruto regained consciousness, he realized that all he could see was black before realizing the thick layer of gauze and bandages wrapped over his eyes. But he didn't motion to remove it. Instead, he reached out towards the last constant in his life.

"Kurama, you there?"

A puff of hot air rustled his hair as the giant fox made himself known.

"Yes, I'm here."

Turning around, Naruto stared into the giant crimson eye that towered above him. "...and Sakura and the bastard?"

Kurama hesitated before cautiously replying, "Naruto...they're gone."

"...I see."

Drip...drip...

Bloody tears slowly stained the bandage over his eyes red before splashing onto the floor. Gingerly standing up, Naruto fell again before steadying himself. Reaching up, he slowly began to remove the bandage around his head. When the last piece of gauze fluttered to the ground, he opened his eyes, an inky black much like the bottom of a lake during the new moon. If he looked closely, on his previously unmarked left palm was the small symbol a moon, the proof the operation worked. If he cared to pay attention, he would notice the constant bouts of agony that once consumed his mind and body were now nowhere to be felt, now replaced by a new sense of completeness as well as a new source of power lurking just underneath the surface of his skin.

But he noticed none of this. All he could see was the blurry image of his friends nestled together, their eyes forever shut and their hands tightly intertwined. Stumbling forward, he fell onto his knees and as he drew closer, he saw the small, but genuine smiles mirrored on their lips.

"Goodbye Sasuke, Sakura," Naruto whispered; leaning in, he kissed their foreheads before staggering away, his form blurring into nothingness as he raced away from Konoha, unaware and uncaring of the swathe of trees that exploded when they stood in his way.

That night, a sorrowful bellow rumbled through the land as Naruto lamented the loss of two of its legends, and more importantly his dearest friends.

30 Years Later

Three decades of time found Naruto silently standing on the easternmost shore of the Elemental Nations, watching the endless sea break against protruding rocks while enjoying the cooling sea breeze that sprang up now and again. After a particularly rough gust, the loose sleeves of his orange shirt and white trenchcoat with the kanji for Seventh Hokage sewn on it in red fluttered up, revealing a nearly invisible storage seal etched into the back of his left arm. Patting down his rebellious sleeves, he returned to quietly gazing into the endless blue sea with his now lighter black eyes, recalling everything that happened since the end of the 4th Shinobi War. From the defeat, sealing, and absorption of Kaguya, his marriage with Hinata, becoming the Seventh Hokage of Konoha and all the good times in between.

However, despite all the years he had to grieve, he refused to dwell on their deaths, rather choosing to remember them when they were alive.

A rumble through his mind broke his reverie.

"Naruto, you sure about this? If you do this and ever come back, no one will remember or even recognize you." Kurama asked.

"I'm fine Kurama. I have packed more than enough ramen and weapons…"

The giant fox interrupted him. "You know that's not what I meant brat. I'm asking whether…"

A tired sigh held back the rest of Kurama's words. "That's enough Kurama. You know why I must do this. Besides, I thought you out of the two of us would want to leave this place the most, since you've already been everywhere and don't want to potentially become a tool for others." Naruto remarked.

"Tch, fat chance of that happening if Kaguya manages to kill us. Whatever, I was just making sure you had no regrets since it would be annoying to hear you complaining about home."

"Hn, love you too furball." Naruto thought back.

"Humph, I guess anything is fine as long you don't get us killed in our journey. Anyways, your other…tenant is starting to wake up." Kurama said in a worried tone.

"Think she'll be a problem?" Naruto shot back with narrowed eyes.

"If you mean whether she will wake up in the middle of the sea…that is a very real possibility. So what will you do? Stay here and possibly lose control, or lose control in the middle of the sea with no land in sight?" Kurama asked.

"My decision remains the same. Better than possibly sinking the entire continent by accident before managing to drag her ass into space or some other dimension. Besides, it's not as if it's decided that I will lose control!" Naruto unintentionally tightened the seal-covered bandage around his right arm.

"Well said Naruto, as expected of the one holding both of my sons' chakra." Said a voice behind Naruto.

"Oi, Hagoromo-san, what did I say about suddenly talking behind my back." Naruto exclaimed, turning around to see the Rikudo no Sennin, Hagoromo Otsutsuki.

"I see that you are going with your plan on leaving the Elemental Nations? If so, I have some knowledge to share with you, along with two gifts." Hagoromo said. "First, you must know after my brother and I first sealed our mother, I created a spacetime barrier with an element of illusion around the Elemental Nations that stretched into the sea. It is because of this barrier, that there has been no visitors from outside the Elemental Nations or mention of other continents beyond this one."

"So this means…" Naruto said

"Yes, once you cross the barrier, it will be difficult for you to return to the mainland. Not even the Hiraishin no Jutsu or the Kamui can guarantee your return due to the nature of the barrier. Only when you have complete control of space and time will you be able to surely return. Should you try it without the knowledge, you might just get tossed into the void and forever drift between dimensions before landing in a random world. I never intended for the way of the shinobi to spread beyond this continent to the rest of the world. However, I should inform you, before I set up the barrier, there was a group of explorers who left soon after my creation of Ninshu around 1000 years ago." With that out of the way, Hagoromo moved closer as he raised a finger.

"Now for my gifts. My first gift is a complete list of Ninjutsu and Fuinjutsu that the Elemental Nations has ever created. No doubt this will prove useful to you. As for my second gift, I will strengthen the seal on my mother with the last of my chakra. With this, she will remain sealed for at most another three or five, years." Hagoromo said as he poked Naruto's head, instantly transferring huge amounts of knowledge as well as strengthening part of the seal that kept Kaguya dormant.

Shaking his head to get rid of the stars that had flashed in his eyes, Naruto took a deep breath before raising his fist, a layer of yellow flames flickering over it. "Thanks for everything old man."

Blinking in surprise, the Sage stared at the proffered fist before smiling and knocking against it with his own. In an instant, a stream of emotions flowed between the three: concern, fear, confidence, sadness, excitement, and others unknown to words.

As Hagoromo retracted his hand, he made one request, much to the fox's protest. "Take care of Kurama, will you. He always was the stubbornest of his siblings, and yet the most sensitive out of all of them."

"Of course…after all, he's my lifelong friend and partner." Ignoring how the fox in his belly roared out in denial of needing anyone to look after him, Naruto flicked his thumb up. However, the hidden melancholy lurking beneath his dark orbs did not escape the God of Shinobi.

"I can only hope you will one day heal and that you find somebody that can bring you happiness…son." The elder Ōtsutsuki inwardly sighed, guilt eating at him when he remembered the day the presence of Kaguya forced Naruto onto the immortal path.

"I believe you. Now it is time for you to go. Remember to train with all of your powers, and good luck." Tapping his staff against the ground, Hagoromo slowly faded from the Elemental Nations, never to be see again.

"Goodbye Hagoromo-san/Otou-san." Naruto and Kurama said one last time.

Just as he disappeared, his voice rang out one last time, just barely audible to the two, "Oh, and Naruto...Happy 100th Birthday."

Naruto sadly stared at where the first God of Shinobi disappeared with a few tears in his eyes before wiping them away.

"So even you have faded away…"

"Come on brat, let's go."

"Yeah."

#naruto #eragon #fanfic #crossover

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vagabcnds · 4 years

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i have tossed around making this post for months now, gone back and forth with myself and my friends about if it would even be worth posting this. honestly, i don’t know if telling my side of this is going to do any good, but i think it’s time that i added some more information to this whole situation so that even more people can see that our friends (and i use that term with as much sarcasm as possible) @seattlehqrpg , as well as her other rp @canterlotislandhq , have not changed, and will not change. this is indeed another psa about this woman, but with some more information and one on one conversations with the woman.

hey hi, hello, so, my name is maig, i’ve been around the rpc for over a decade, and right now you might recognize my multifandom : @hiddenwashington . we’re an appless multifandom that i started up two years ago. and over those two years, we have dealt with jasmine, jazzy, jackie, jacqueline, whatever j name she wants to call herself this time, on and off, for that duration.

and just to clear up some information from other psas, i do not believe this is the same nova/jazzy that was terrorizing groups last year with attacking and fighting admins. we’ve spoken with j multiple times, as well as jazzy/nova, and honestly i can tell for sure these are not the same people. unfortunately, there is more than one bad egg in the rpc.

i have a ton of screenshots, so forgive me for not using them all. a link to a google drive will be at the end of this, for all of the screenshots i have of stolen asks, interactions, etc. but i’ll just be using key information for this specific post. or else we’ll be here all day.

when we first encountered j (we’ll just use “j” for now since she focuses on whatever name we call her more than the content of the psas. and all her aliases start with it idk), we thought she was just another person who wanted to join but sort of went about it the wrong way. we first got an anon on the main, asking if our current ginny (that being me) would be willing to give her up. because j wanted to play her.

we had gotten an anon asking about if we were welcoming towards people with social anxiety (or something like that. it’s been two years now since this all happened so specifics are a little fuzzy. like i said we’ve been dealing with her for so long.) i pretty much hit her with “i’m not willing to drop her because i still want to play her but hmu on my character account and we can chat about other characters for you to play”. i had no idea that answering it would lead us down this rabbit hole i’m writing about today. we sorta chatted, she kinda just rambled to me about how she wanted to write someone not like her so she could have a challenge. valid. i tried helping out, i didn’t really know what fandoms she was into so i said what i could and then went onto the main. when i got back onto my account, she had taken it upon herself to critique my portrayal of ginny, asking if she would ever say ‘dick’. she kept messaging me, sandwiching that comment between other questions. i told her i didn’t appreciate unsolicited critiques. i tried to move past it but she kept at me about it. telling me she hadn’t read the books in 10 years. and only read one. the last one, in 3 hours. idk overall it was a weird conversation and i sort of thought that was the end of it.

honestly, i’m not gonna spend a TON of time on this already too long psa going on about every interaction we had with her, every crazy thing she said. most importantly, we accepted her in, thinking she was just a little wild but us talking to her covered it. she ended up going in active over easter or spring break or something, wanted to take up another character, we told her to wait to pick her activity up. ya know, standard admin business. and then she started attacking us. telling us we didn’t care about her, about what she went through not having a computer or whatever. she started sending us anons about how her friend stole her money and we don’t care about her and we all hate her so why should she stay. it was kinda insane. again, check the google doc for all that. she ended up leaving, we got some anons about how she never joined other rps because of admins like us. just random things here and there, some anons about how dare we talk to people like we did. just random shit that really only she could come up with. but we had an rp to run, lives to get on with, tv shows to binge, idk fam. life goes on.

honestly, we sort of forgot about this whole mess for like close to a year? that was when we started getting ims. from her. we knew bc it was the same accounts as before. she uses the same ones over and over, it’s easy to keep track of her. it’s sort of why we never felt the need to bring anything up, we always thought she was just stealing from us and we knew when it was her and when to refuse to accept the questions. this is where we enter phase two of hidden’s journey with “j” : the thief.

this is one of our earliest encounters. before she started sending them on anon.

(for some quick context, she would send us questions for fcs, ask if a character was open and then go around trying to poach our members for her group)

tw suicidal thoughts for this next picture

honestly this goes on for like 10 more pictures, so instead of spamming here, the full conversation is in the google drive under the folder : a fight that almost was

she eventually goes on to call me out as the admin talking to her, i tell her again to message me off the main so that we could get back to actually admining our group. she hits me up, calls me “a cute ginny mun”, and then proceeds to ask me to help her fill out Her Own Application for ginny for her own group!!

the tiktok video of “did a full one eightyyy” is all that is going through my head from this specific encounter.

anyways. this is when the stealing really amped up, for not just us, but for the entire rpc. around this time, we had stupidly let her back into the group, i had wanted to keep my eye on her personally. see what she was stealing from the inside. idk i was dumb. this is also around the time the first psa about her came around.

enter, phase three. it’s similar to phase two, but this time, “j” must tell everyone she is in fact Not A Thief™

so, during this time, it was around may of last year? while she was in the group, she started stealing more, we were catching her in the act, and we eventually had to kick her out of hidden. it’s not really a shock but ya know. gotta do what you gotta do.

she was going by jasmine at the time. anyways. this is also before her current group @seattlehqrpg , when she still had @manilahq and @forgottenfriendshiphq or whatever she changed that too. she was getting a ton of “hate” over there. mainly anons telling her to stop stealing from other creators. valid.

anyways, she would blame us for all of the stealing, that we were the true thieves. idk we were her scapegoats for a long time. i can confirm to you all now, i have never, nor have any of my admins, sent her any messages to steal fcs or anything to “attack” her. honestly we try to forget she exists but she just makes it so hard to ignore her with all of this.

anyways, this has been our song and dance with “j” for a while now. we get an anon, we answer, she steals from us in a matter of hours. i’m sure everyone can attest to that similar situation. i mean, here’s just like a couple instances. i have hundreds in the google docs, dating back years. this behavior doesn’t change.

i mean, she has even gone as far as to steal our plot. sure, it’s not exactly original. every multifandom somehow brings all these characters to a city by magic or something. but the mention of the witch, the alternate universe city, the memories. it just all around reads plagiarism.

so, check the google doc for more evidence i guess if you really need to!

but, some things we’ve noticed, beyond her just stealing asks and plots and EVENTS ??? AND NOW TASKS ??? check out this post for the tasks, and this other psa for the event. because that shit is so fucked.

she has also straight up stolen replies and claimed them as her own. my friend and fellow admin, was in her rp for a hot minute, and played pacifica northwest. (some information is crossed out for privacy) this was from us talking about the plagiarism, of her stealing from my friend while “j” was in hidden, which we both admin.

this is her post

and this is "j”’s, while she was in hidden.

i mean, same gif and everything friends.

she constantly goes on about how she doesn’t look at other rps, how she doesn’t have time, that she’s running five other groups, but honey, we’re running those groups for you with all the stealing!! i mean, just as further proof that she is constantly looking at other groups, including hidden, to an obsessive amount. a member left her group (who then went and joined us we believe), and this was her unfollow for them. (i feel so sorry for that member to be called out like this?? how uncomfortable do you have to make your former and current members???)

and hidden’s character count that same day ??? coincidence, i think not.

listen, this isn’t meant to stir up more drama, i know it will and that’s kinda why i put this off. everyone had sort of said what needed to be said? it didn’t feel necessary to repeat the same shit we all knew. but with more of this happening, with her stealing plots, tasks and events. it felt like this was the time to strike, to get this awareness back up. she needs to stop, and if we all ban together, maybe we can stop it? i don’t know. but i have hope that this can all change if we have each other’s backs.

this has been hiddenwashington’s side of the story, i’m sure there are still more groups out there with stories or stolen asks. and i am sorry to anyone who has had to deal with her. but just, do yourselves a favor and look out for anyone with a j alias, 21+. she/her, from pst. who also uses “RPG” a lot.

a lot of this stuff is old, but she’s still doing this in @seattlehqrpg i just grabbed these screenshots because it’s what i had on hand. but anyways. here is the link to the google drive with all of our screenshots we have complied.

if you have any questions, comments, concerns, what have you: my inbox (including anons), ims and everything are open and i am more than happy to chat!! please come talk with me about anything!!!

stay safe, and thanks for joining me on this season of To Catch a Plagiarizer.

#psa #rpc #rpt #multifandom rp #fandom rp #rph #rpc psa #personal.#about hidden #long post tw #this is literally so long i pray for all of you who read it #seattlehqrpg

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kachinnate · 4 years

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we’ve finally come time for the one (1) annual Kayla’s Having a Bad Time post

i don’t know anymore what exactly is wrong with me but wow!! is it bad!!! and wow do i hate it !!!!! i have not gone a day w/o crying in like a week and a half and i’m so tired, i’m literally so tired of hating myself just for existing and i’m tired of all the little things that should not upset me upsetting me only because they’re in masse, only because all together it’s so much and i only have two fucking hands

and like in the back of my mind even fucking still i’m like “.... okay but placebo effect. okay but you aren’t really sad tho. okay but you literally just don’t want to get better you are doing this for attention you are doing this bc being content would be easy and you just want to stir the pot clearly, just stop” to the point where i’m like I Guess I Have To Prove to even myself that i am fucking justified in feeling the way that i do before my brain gaslights itself into thinking that there was never anything wrong with me to begin with and that i’ve fucking put myself in this hole myself for no reason other than ... i don’t even know! i don’t know

makes a list in my notes :) to remember all the heinous bullshit going on :) and maybe for catharsis reasons i don’t fucking care anymore

- it’s the anniversary of the thing. you know. ;) the kind of traumatic experience of having the people i called best friends fucking uhhh pick on me every day for the entirety of like eight months - on my eating habits on my behavior on my anxiety on the things they knew i fucking hated about myself - only for them to just. drop me all of a sudden, on THEIR own terms, as if I was the one who fucking did anything to THEM, thus rendering me from never getting my own fucking closure from the situation ! i have both of them still added as friends on snapchat and i follow them on instagram because for some reason i know that if i just blocked them it would cause problems (what problems?? what arbitrary fucking problems???) seeing their faces makes me feel literal actual dread, i can’t go to one of the restaurants in my town alone because they work there and i hate it ! i hated every second of april 2019 - september 2019 where i felt fucking psychotic for being upset over this situation, where i couldn’t convince myself that i wasn’t insane for being strung up and i couldn’t even call it trauma until like march when someone coined it that for me themselves lol ,,,, i hate myself for still giving them my thoughts, i hate myself for wondering that in a different universe where i wasn’t as fucking stupid or ditzy if they’d still talk to me. i hate myself for wondering if ***** looks at the message i left on her poster last april where i told her how much i admired her and loved her and thinks about me, because that was probably the last time i ever said anything real to her, which... haha. what a JOKE right?

- my rsd has somehow fucking spiked and gotten so much worse in like.. the last eight days. literally when i first posted ‘sweet hibiscus tea’ i went and checked it a few days after and it had like. two dislikes? and i like. cried? :) which is so dramatic and i hate it djksgndsg i can’t go a day reading messages or texts from anyone who talks to me without finding one that’s not inherently positive and picking it apart until i’ve hurt myself over something that wasn’t even related, im too sensitive about EVERYTHING but i don’t know how to address it or deal with it so i just don’t which i think is... why it’s getting worse oop. it gets triggered by literally fucking everything i hate it here

- one of the only things bringing me any sort of serotonin rn is making content. hense the hyperfixating on my r and on this oneshot and on the writing meme things, like. it makes me feel productive, but hyperfixating for me oftentimes leads to a bad headspace which makes me fucking disoriented when i come out of it, and like. ofc there’s the typical things w it too like me forgetting to do other shit like eat or whatever but it’s literally been the only way i can cope with myself. making things. getting validation for things. if i can entertain someone for like, ten minutes, maybe anything i do matters. maybe. fuck.

- i can’t not self isolate myself when things are bad, i just. can’t sdjgnsd like i hate talking about myself i hate talking about the way i feel because nothing makes sense?? i encourage people to talk to me when they feel bad but i can’t ever do the same for myself because i’m a hypocrite! and like the feelings of worthlessness overpower everything i do! convince me people don’t care and shit when i know that’s not the case, but if i acknowledge that then i have to think about how i’m being selfish by fucking moping but not talking to anyone, and i just! i cannot win !!! ever!

- ^^^^ on that note, literally the few times i’ve felt okay recently i’ve had that ripped right from me by little things people close to me have done, like !! can you not vague me?? regardless of if you see that i’m doing bad mentally or not ???? i’m begging you , i’m so sorry that i’m not acting normal but can you for one second maybe consider that i’m a person ? i may be SAD but i’m not fucking STUPID so if i bother you just tell me ??? it’s the least you can do ??????

- scared i can’t love. scared i’m not morally a good person. scared that i’m selfish but don’t realize it. i wasn’t meant to have a confidant i don’t think and who am i to ever try and subject anyone to my fucked up head

- i’m constantly fucking terrified on my dad’s behalf because this dude is 41 years old yet i’m the fucking adult out of the two of us most of the time? he comes home drunk so often and i’ve thought that he’s had alcohol poisoning more than once and i hate being fucking scared of having to like. contact fafsa or my college like “hey can u adjust my financial aid, because i’m kind of an orphan now? :’)” we don’t have any other family, i can’t ask anyone to help me it’s literally me and him against the world and he’s put me on this pedestal of being an amazing daughter so i feel guilty at the thought of anything happening to him as if i’m his fucking guardian. he drinks so much and he’s so infidelious and ridiculous so what’s going to happen when i leave ?

it’s just. so much. but i don’t want to be a beacon of negative shit because even after all of this i’m self conscious of making other people sad so i pretend that everything’s fine on my sc and in person , which i know gives off the vibe of “but she’s not even acting sad? :///” when i offhandedly mention anywhere that i’ve been depressed and i just. i’m sorry that i don’t post about how when i’m not staring at my huion screen i’m fucking staring at the wall wondering if anyone would fucking notice other than my dad and my coworkers if i just disappeared without a word

it feels selfish to complain about my life feeling bad with all the shit going on, too, on top of that. so it’s better if i just don’t say anything at all, there’s other shit to deal with other than my life falling apart because really this just happens every year around this time doesn’t it. i’ll get over it. i’m being dramatic and stupid and in like two months none of this will even fucking matter

tldr; i need to get my meds upped or something

#irrelevant #do not be obliged to say anything i really just needed to scream on somewhere that wasn't snapchat #bc for legal reasons people don't need to know how i feel <3 #garbage.txt #if you're new here i swear that this isn't normal i'm just fucking bad rn #we'll be back to memes and content momentarily #not proofread #can't look @ this rn #gonna drink some hawaiian punch and probably work on #something #as always <3 #vent #ask to tag #i don't think there's anything particularly Jarring in this but #tw alcohol #longpost #long post

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oversensitive-whore · 3 years

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How the fuck do vampires work???????

Think about it, theres these little funky people who are nocturnal and drink blood, normally biting people and sucking the blood out of them. Think about the sucking part. How are you going to suck the blood out of someones fucking neck when your wack ass teeth are in the way??? I mean I guess some blood would come out but then it would be incredibly inconvenient to just stand there for hours. the blood flow would be really slow. You would need to just stand there for a long while to get enough nutrients. awkward as fuck dude. I mean you could just take your teeth out and then suck but that would just result in a giant fucking hickey. Every vampire bite is the cause of a hickey. Imagine getting your fuckin blood sucked out of your neck by this horrible fucking abomination in the middle of the night and your friends thinking ur really kinky because theres just a giant hickey and ya damn neck where the teeth marks are.

Are there just tiny little fucking holes in their teeth then?? Stab people with your fangs and then suck their blood out like a giant mosquito. All vampires are is just giant mosquitos with a consciousness. But anyways Ig there could just be little fuckin holes to suck out of.

What if they didnt remove their teeth from the person and just fucking wiggled them around?? To make more space and increase blood flow and make the sucking proccess faster?? That would be really awkward. *Bites someone in the fucking neck out of nowhere* *starts wiggling teeth and giving them a hickey* they would think youre fucking insane. Then again thats just all vampire incidents. How do they get people to just stand there and take it? I like to imagine vampires carry glocks around everywhere just to threaten people. They wont mind having their literal life juice sucked out when youre holding a funky looking container that can shoot little metal balls at 1000 km/s and is an actual fucking weapon at their head.

In a modern setting, people wouldnt actually be afraid of vampires, i wouldnt at least. If one bit me and held a gun to my head, id just think 'hey, maybe this person needs some fuckin mental help' instead of freaking out. And then some others would just moan. Again, giant hickey. Plus it would confuse the fuck out of the vamps. * bite* "DADDY AUUUHHHHHHHHHHH 😍😘😘🥵🤪 *lip bite*" 'what the fuck' Yall are some horny mofos. It isnt a bad thing, im one as well. Does anyone have that moment when theyre typing on a computer and type "some" like "smoe"? because i just typed "one" like "noe" Like noe to what bitch? crippling anxiety?? Wait back to the "how tf do vamps get people to stand there and take it" only the horny fucks would do that. I feel like there should be like places for blood donation specifically for vampires, but its like a bdsm club type thing. That would be an interesting love story. " how did you and mom meet, dad?" "Well honey, we met because I was horny and had a biting kink when i was younger" Good way to give a kid trauma!!!

Vampires shouldnt be feared, 1st. they dont exist. 2nd. their existence isnt logical at all 3. even their fucking concept isnt intimidating.

These funky lil dudes are horny for neccessity and I think thats neat¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you cant tell im really tired

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onepunchmiss · 5 years

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OPM s2e12 Live Blog

“The Wiping of the Disciple’s Butt”

The season finale. I’m nauseous. Lets begin.

As always, I’m watching from the perspective of someone who has read the manga and webcomic.

Right where we left off. Again I love the music. I’m just like, really calm right now actually. hhhhhhhhhhhokay. OOF oh god all the crunching sound effects oh no, this is already so weird watching Garou get his ass handed to him since he’s pretty much curb stomped every other hero in battle thus far, or at the VERY LEAST avoided taking so many hits. This. is so uncomfortable to watch. WOAH ????? THESE SHOTS WERE ONLY THERE FOR A SPLIT SECOND BUT??? HOLY SHIT???

GAROU’S HAIR OH MY GOD

Oh god oh god Bang is relentless this hurts please stop guys GUYS PLZ HAS NO ONE REALISED THAT NOT ONE HERO HAS DIED CMON PLZ IT HURTS calm down stop trying to kill him plsplspls OH

THIS

IS WHY

WE STAN GAROU

HE SAYS FUCK DEATH HOW ABOUT I JUST GET STRONGER INSTEAD QUE EPIC THEME MUSIC

oh god damnit him legit running on all fours right there just looks goofy tho F “preposterous style” Bang you aint lying asdfghjkl really though OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS DRAWN SO BEAUTIFULLY THIS IS SO BLESSED

WAIT

NO OPENING THEME???????????????????? WHAT?????????????????????? WHY????????????????????????? ONE, I WANTED TO SEE THE CHIBI OF THE WEEK AND 2

I WASNT PREPARED FOR MY FAVORITE DOPEY BIRD MAN THE FUCK PHOENIXMAN PLS NO ILY I know people hate him a lot but I just really dig how he feels like a fleshed out character compared to most other monsters, like he’s legit lookit him being all smart and stuff plz I just,,,,,,,,,,,, want to hug dumb fluffy birb ;-;

Woah again I’m being blown away by the animation??? Garou getting smacked around is really fluid and this just looks really cool in general?????

FUCK I CANT DO FLASHBACKS MAN JUST HEARING THE KID VOICE MAKED MY STOMACH LURCH OH NO

OH NO I SCREAM OH NO I CANT OH NO GIMME 5 MINUTES PLEASE I CANNOT BBY NO I FORGOT ADULT GAROU IS IN THE FLASHBACK WATCHING THIS TIME PLS NO

LIKE???????? I got kinda a comedic vibe watching him comment on it in the manga but the slow music and shit is just FUKKIN ME UP RIGHT NOW I HATE IT THANKS IT HURTS

oh god his face he has the seething thousand mile stare of quiet rage and its burning a hole STRAIGHT THROUGH MY ENTIRE BEING “But me I was the loner kid. Always gloomy and without friends” STOP. YOU STOP THAT RIGHT THIS INSTANT. IM CRYING AT U RIGHT NOW STOP

NO DONT HOLD HIM LET HIM GO S T O P OR SO HELP ME i can’t watch this what the fuck “I was always the loser” SHIT this legitimately hurts me “I dont want to be the monster anymore” GArou hey did you hear that part?? hEY GAROU DID YOU HEAR YOURSELF THERE???

WHAT DID I SAY WHAT THE F DID I JUST SAY STOP HOLDING HIM STOP STOPPIT THE HELL MAN What if……….. I just go BACK IN TIME AND ADOPT BB GAROU CAN I DO THAT IS THIS POSSIBLE IS THIS ALLOWED ? ?? ?

oh my god it keeps getting worse. I mean. I already knew garou was being disproportionately reprimanded for what he supposedly did, but watching this scene just fucking kicked me in the teeth. As if my stomach wasn’t already in knots. The fuck . why does this hurt so much more watching than reading the frustration in seeping into me ffffff.

This looks really cool but, i can barely focus on that because im pretty much being exsanguinated on the floor over here by this whole sequence look at him crying. do it for me cause I sure as hell can’t

“I want to strike a blow for the little guy”

Fukkin GETTEM GO GETTEM

HOLY SHIT HIS VA IS GOING T F OFF

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH LOOKIT HIM ILY SO MUCH SAVE THE DAY BIRB SAVE

ASDFGHJKL THIS IS SO INTENSE EVERYONE IS SO INTENSE I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS BUT HOLY SHIT FUCK IM SCREAMING GAROU IS SCREAMING BANG AND BOMB SCREAMING GENOS AND EVEN PHOENIXMAN EVEN THE MUSIC IS SCREAM WE ALL JUST SC R E M

OH MY GOD AND THE LITTLE HEAD NOT GENOS AND BANG GIVE EACHOTHER SAVING THE HEROES OH MY GOD OH FUCK AND THE WAY THEY ANIMATE BANG JUMPING AROUND IS DOPE AS HELL AND ALSO HOLY SHIT ELDER CENTIPEDE I MISSED THE UNSETTLING SMOOTH CG LIKE ANIMATION FOR THE CENTIPEDES EVERY CELL IN MY BODY IS JUST SCREAMING RN I AM OVERLOAD HELP

Garou flailing in the air in Phoenixman’s grip is … really adorable oh my god. “It’s your fault for not finishing them” ooooooo that shut him up didn’t it oof. Also nice cameo by Tatsumaki there

ASDFGHJKL THE MUSIC AGAIN I LOVE IT I LOVE THEM LOOK AT THEM OH MY GOD

THIS IS SO BAD ASS

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SO BADASS

Genos’s eye static, The brother’s fists swirling, THE FUKKIN CARAPACE SHATTERING

THIS FIGHT IS SO WILD MY COMPUTER CANT EVEN TAKE IT. ITS GLITCHING AND FREEZING UP HOLY SHIT

oh god ok the face coming out of the face was pure nightmare fuel alright then

WAIT

I FORGOT GENOS IS A SELF SACRIFICING DUMBASS. NO IM NOT READY GENOS YOU DOOF LISTEN TO KUSENO LISTEN TO HIM

oh no

im crying oh no

this animation is beautiful first of all and the music like im just here this is where I’m at and I’m crying oh no

He’s an angel. A literal angel. Look at that and tell me he doesn’t look like a fucking angel in the sky with the rays of light casting shadows around him.

Genos you are too good and pure for this world but that DOESNT MEAN TRY TO GET YOURSELF KILLED

Shit they really made it look like he was gonna self destruct there for a second which MADE HIS LAST STAND EVEN MORE INTENSE OH MY GOD SWEETHEART Y’all ever get into a show because you keep seeing one character that catches your interest, and you keep seeing them pop up on your dash or wherever until you finally decide ‘well fuckit, this is the asshole that’s gonna get me to finally watch the show’, cause you’re already invested in them anyway? Genos did that for me with OPM. If this fool didn’t exist Who knows how long it would’ve taken me to get to watching OPM, if ever. And shit like this is why I STILL love him. I usually move on to new faves 90% of the time but nope. Genos earned his spot and is keeping it. Look at this insane shit. My heart. Uhg

Enough gushing asdfghjkl ok but Genos, you just went INTO THE DAMNED THING’s STOMACH,,,,, and you’re SURPRISED that there’s STOMACH ACID?? But real talk. What the EVERLONG FUCK is that thing’s insides made out of? How did it NOT DIE. the FuCK

asdfghjkl Phoenixman’s chuckle???? I love

Oh Bang no, this is wrenching my heart like I know that he doesn’t actually use his power but its built up so intensely like,,, would he be ok if he did??? and actually more concerningly since it even WAS brought up that he has some hidden true strength, will we EVER get to see that??? Oh Shit well when they word it as “All the power left to me in this life” then yeah, that seems pretty life or death ish???? THE FUCK

Oh thank god comedic relief is here I feel like i’m about to have a heart attack my chest is so tight hhhhhh ok breathe WAIT THIS ISNT COMEDIC THIS IS BADASS AS HELL JEEZUS witht he flashbacks to the Saitama encounter and THIS LOOK

The Anime is really fucking with the audience huh??? Making it look like KIngs about to throw hands like???????????? OH SHIT AND THIS MUSIC IS DOPE AS HELL TOO IM JUST laughing I have so much excessive energy right now???

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHZAHAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASDFGHJKLJHGFDSWERTGYHUIUJHGFDFGHJKJHGFRE THE FUKKIN SONG THEY BROUGHT IT BACK THE ULTIMATE SONG I GOT THREE NOTES IN JUST THREE NOTES AND I KNOW IM SCREAMING I GOTTA GO RUN BRB

IM STILL SCREAMING FADFJSAGFJDSLKAHVFSKLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OUR MAIN MAN THERE HE IS THERE HE IS IM GONNA THROW UP

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

OH MY FUCK THATS WHAT THE OPENING SEQUENCE EXPLOSION WAS FROM OH GOD OH FUCK BEAUTIFUL THIS IS BEAUTIFUL OH FUCK OH GOD

The REPRISE oh no oh NO OH NO OH NO NO ITS NOT OVER im not ready its not I cant no no no i dont want to press play cause if I press play it will end soon no no no Oh my god and at the end there isnt gonna be a title card for the next episode because THERE IS NO NEXT EPISODE no non o nonononon on on on ono no no no

HEY IVE BEEN RIPPED OFF. WHERES THE FACE WITH HIS HAIR BLOWN BACK??? ASDFJKL fine I cant even be mad everything else was tooo ofdbghjfshkggfhsjgbfhjka

KING WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT REACTION ASDFGHJKL W H A T

WAIT THEY ARE DOING THE OPENING THEME AT THE END NO I CANT HANDLE SEEING EVERYOONE NOW OF ALL TIMES GOD DAMNIT WHY ok yknow what. I knew it would be king. I dont know how but i did

Wha

fkin cliffhanger no please no

I.. I’m kind of at a loss for words. I’m. That’s it, huh? It’s really over. It doesn’t FEEL over. There’s so much unfinished business. Well, the only way to really neatly wrap everything up as neatly as S1 did would have been to get ALL THE WAY through the Garou arc, which obviously wasn’t going to happen, but this is not a great spot to leave off if we’re going to endure another few years hiatus. My hope is that, with biweekley manga updates, we should wrap up the Monster Association/Garou stuff (assuming it doesn’t diverge from the web comic too much) some time next year, and I’m HOPING that s3 is already being planned accordingly along side manga publications. So MAYBE it will at least be announced around that time 2020. That’s my wishful thinking at least. I don’t think I can survive 3 years. anyway

You could really tell JC Staff poured their hearts and souls into these last 2 episodes. Absolutely gorgeous, paced well, so completely satisfying and making every second of s2 worth while. For me, at least. I’ve already seen people still complaining and I’m just sorry they didn’t have as much fun as I did.

Seriously, thank each and every one of you guys. This has been a wild ride, I’ve barely had this blog a few weeks before season 2 started airing (and honestly just got into opm maybe a month before that?), so I owe a lot of the success on the blog to the anime I bet. This was the first series I’ve never tried live bogging, and I honestly can’t believe that they were as popular as they were? Especially since I never have any idea what I’m doing but yall listen to me ramble anyway?? Yall are crazy thank you so so so much. Now my tuesdays are gonna feel really empty… next week is gonna be weird as hell. Though I’m gonna get mad nostalgic good vibes rewatching this season in the future in no small part from sharing my experience with everyone who's stuck around. I can’t say see yall next week this time, but, see you next season whenever it may be for sure.

#live blogging #one punch man #opm #season 2 #finale #spoilers #garou #Saitama #genos #bang #bomb #phoenixman #anime #king #long post #im so sad right now oh my god #opmiss mumbling #s2e12

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thefeckisthis · 4 years

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manifestation and religion

disclaimer: im going to write my opinions on religion and if you consider yourself a believer - dont get offended as we all have different experiences and beliefs. also, i will be mentioning some stuff that most people find weird and unusual so please keep your mind open and leave your judgment somewhere else.

i wrote quite a bit and then my clumsy ass accidentally closed all tabs and everything was gone so this time ill write my intro in short version. so we all heard the saying ‘’be careful what you wish for it may come true’’. well it does come true and it has proved to me so many times, and before i get to the basics of law of attraction and manifestation I am going to say a bit of background how i got to it all.

as most of my country i was raised christian and had to practice the religion until i was 14/15 and got my holy confirmation so after that i was finally happy that i did not have to go to church if i did not want to. my family is not super religious, we do follow the holiday traditions and such as its normal in our country, but personally i dont give them much meaning. two of my family members are religious and i am grateful because in a place as my hometown our parents gave us free will when i came to religion (after our confirmation only :P) .

with all my experience and research i came to realise that christianity is most rotten, corrupted, vile and disgusting religion there is. there are exceptions that were better than rest, that is a small number unfortunately. i always considered myself agnostic, there is no defined god but there is something bigger than humankind and its still unknown. and you look at all the religions you will find that mostly all of them have same stories, people and facts, just bit amended to their culture. so to explain a bit, here is internet definition of agnosticism # Agnosticism is the view that the existence of God, of the divine or the supernatural is unknown or unknowable. Another definition provided is the view that "human reason is incapable of providing sufficient rational grounds to justify either the belief that God exists or the belief that God does not exist." and no, atheist is not the same. heres couple of pictures giving some insights

so now that we have that sorted out i would like to stress out that i never had anything against people who believe in god or dont believe in god, i have friends who are strong believers and friends who are atheist, its just called being adult and accepting people as they are. not enough people can do that.

so i did lots of research on religions and i do like polytheism ( Polytheism is the worship of or belief in multiple deities, which are usually assembled into a pantheon of gods and goddesses, along with their own religions and rituals) so i always had huge interest in roman and Greek deities, Egyptian as well and for a while was reading about Hinduism. of course i read a lot about all other older civilizations and most of them are based on polytheism.

during my exploring i came across a doctrine about paganism (havent fully finished all the books and here is a link if anyone would be interested in buying https://despot-infinitus.com/proizvod/paganizam-u-teoriji-i-praksi-doktrina-paganizma/) and i really liked the whole idea of it and i am still actively considering of becoming a white witch/wicca and reading those books inspired adding bit more on my pentagram tattoo, which is actually representing five elements so with added moons it represents triple goddess symbol.

many people ask me is that devils sign and am i a satanist, and that is ridiculous assumption based on only one symbol. and as a matter of fact i have been reading about satanism itself as well (of course i have) and its quite surprisingly peaceful religion and makes more sense than christianity does. to read more about their rules (which are way better than 10 commandments) click here - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LaVeyan_Satanism#Basic_tenets

those who know me a bit better know that i love paranormal stuff and that i have strong connection with it and that caused a lot of paranormal experiences in my life (i bring all the ghosts to your yard aaayyy) so i recently also discovered demonology ( Demonology is the study of demons or beliefs about demons. They may be human, or nonhuman, separable souls, or discarnate spirits which have never inhabited a body.) and that you can actually learn how to practice it and cant lie that also interests me as well as you contact demons and entities and you work together to learn about world and history and you give them chance to peacefully experience the world (they literally posses you and that way they get to taste food and emotions etc)

yes this is quite informative post as well. and yes, you will all probably deem me insane after reading all this. and what i noticed is that all of them mentioned above work on the principle of cooperation, you have to give to receive. and i dont mean like you have to make blood sacrifices to get your wishes, i mean you have to put in some effort in it and show good intentions and most important of all - you have to show some respect.

so to finally get to the reason why you are all here. manifestation and law of attraction.

there were loads of instances in my life where i noticed small details that most of people wouldnt notice and after googling them one word kept coming up - universe. so automatically when you start look into that law of attraction and manifestation come up as well, they all g hand in hand like little happy family.

So law of attraction is something you all definitely had experience with. Basically its what you put out to the world is what you get. Simple change of mindset can change everything in your life. Have you noticed when you are happy and spreading happiness everything around you seems nicer, people are nicer to you, nice things happen and then when you are in bad mood everything is going bad.

Sounds familiar? That is law of attraction for you people. you’re releasing/giving good vibes to the atmosphere and people around you so universe makes sure to give good things back. notice that give and take relationship here? Dont be fooled tho, its not always as simple as it sounds. it is especially hard when you get into that deep hole of feeling bad a and depressed. it is really hard to change your train of thoughts and get yourself to think positive. universe wont award you for one good thought, it has to be series of it and you really need to feel them. you truly need to be in a good moment to get something back from universe.

say thank you to people serving you, ask people how are they, show that you care, pick up a paper from street and throw it in a bin, smile to everyone, pet a random animal on a street, anything counts. and dont do it just because you expect something huge from universe as most of the time universe will give back with good things as well, someone will help you, smeone will compliment you, you’ll get free cup of coffee, just random things like that. you will be surprised that good things will come to you in a moment you need. it also makes you more grateful for everything in your life and makes your everyday nicer and more positive.

then we come to manifestation.

thiiiiiis my people is bit more complicated than just law of attraction, but one without other does not go. there is no definition of the manifestation, but it is a fact that if you want something really bad universe will give it to you. i had universe manifest so many of my things that i wanted, just took a bit of time. maybe it has happened for you too. sit and think how many things did you wish for and you have them now? there are certainly more than few things that come to your mind. i can easily name at least 10 things that universe manifested for me without even realizing that was it.

there are many ways to manifest something and it is impossible for me to write everything about it in this post as it is bit more complicated than law of attraction, but i will try to outline some things and believe me when you google manifestation you will find loads of examples and you can read for days about it.

every single wish you want to manifest you can, it just requires some work and that is the hardest part. there are many ways of manifesting something, scribbling, drawing, visualizing, meditating and many more - you need to find something that works the best for you. you need to have clear vision of what you want (general idea wont work), you have to want it really strongly and you need to start working towards it, even little steps - remember when i said you have to give to receive, same with universe. it wont just drop it in your lap because you decided it would be beneficial for you.

and have in mind very important thing universe will always provide and it will give you what you deserve when you are ready for it.

so yes, it means it can take waaaay longer than you expect it, it may not be hours, days it may be years, it just means that you are not ready for it yet but that doesnt mean universe is not working on bringing it to you. all the work you put into it will definitely be worth it.

for example i fell in love in marketing in university and always wanted a job in that field. it did not get easy to me at all. i spent long five years applying for the jobs and either getting rejections or no answer. and believe me that could put me in such bad mood sometimes that i just wanted to give up on everything. add to that anxiety struggles and that makes it even harder. and as mentioned in the last year i worked on myself mentally, my anxiety has been on lower levels for a while and it does spike up now and then and it messes things up, but i’ve been happier mentally then i ever was in last 5 years and towards end of the last year more and more good things started to come my way and then i finally got that long awaited job.

i am still looking a proper way to thank universe for making it happen for me as that is also important thing for manifestation.

going to use myself as example - being a cheerleader, moving to another country, going to enrique iglesias concerts, visiting loch ness and Neuschwanstein Castle and many more were just big wishes at one point and so far they all came true and i couldnt be happier. it can be small things as well, once i tried to test it and i wanted to manifest a drink date. so i kept thinking how i will go for a drink with someone next week. and it happened, next week i went for a drink with a guy i just met, completely unexpectedly. i didnt specify anything else other than gooing for a drink at that was the only thing that happened.

once wished for more money (also nothing specific stupid me haha) and after two days i found €5 on the floor. not much but universe did provide what i wanted :D

as i’ve said, manifestation is more complicated than law attraction and requires strong mind and strong will, so not only that you get what you wish and work for - it makes you a better person as well! To end this i am going to leave couple of links you can visit and see more about them, or if you’re more adventurous just google manifestation and enjoy your journey :) https://medium.com/thrive-global/9-principles-of-conscious-manifestation-3d2df7a4a87

https://elysesantilli.com/what-is-manifestation/

https://blog.mindvalley.com/manifestation/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZNFXNnKOLdA5ZD7Sn2p5aQ/videos

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvptCAXYmDZMOffniGRfomQ/videos

#new post #manifestation #law of attraction #universe #believe #follow #Followme #follow for follow #fun #religion #thoughts

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years

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Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 6 - Meat Page 16

==> (Whoa, went a long while before splitting posts, there. Dangerous, with how often I’ve lost stuff to Tumblr page reloads in the past.)

Oh, you’ve realized Zazzerpan’s relevance as foreshadowing for the trolls or whatever, Rose?

Oh my god, PLEASE don’t put Rose inside a fucking robot. >:|

Oh SHIT wait. That one wizard Roxy named her cat after who wanted all the knowledge in the world, got overloaded and then crushed by the giant textbook or whatever??? That’s disturbingly Rose-similar here. D:

Rose, puns. Please.

Hm, you think it applies to you all now instead of the trolls? Huh. Do you think some of you might become villains and get Just deaths?

..Huh, wait. Numerological significance? Are we actually learning what 413 means? Or learning that it was meant to be bullshit all along instead? I’m “Hmmm”ing loudly either way...

Ow, ouch. So a Light player wasn’t designed to properly live outside of canon significance, or??

Ooh. She’s not sure that if she opens herself up to all the knowledge of her other selves, that it’d be “her” anymore. A pretty legitimate fear... and one Dirk is perfectly disposed to disabuse her of. As a Heart player, he’d understand better than most that the entire combination of one’s various states over all timelines IS you, and the unique direction your will and uniqueness embodies across whatever it touches. Or something.

...Wait, wait a minute. Before I keep reading........ I didn’t actually CLICK the candy button yet. What if Candy just redirects to AO3 or something. Like, the candy bit is all of our fanfics. Oh jeez.

Okay reading on before that possibility drives me insane.

DIRK: I’m not sure anyone should be allowed to have that much foresight. Especially a guy like me.

...Mhmm, especially since in part that’s how we got Doc Scratch, yeah.

Reading to the end of this page, and........

Yeah, what the FUCK just happened.

So... is this Dirk BEING a villain? Doing some sort of weird almost cherubic Eye thing to kind of supplant Rose as he becomes a Scratch-like fanfic narrator or... Let me reread these last few paragraphs a couple times...

Is he really sort of “puppeteering” Rose? Is this like the birth of a god-tier villain or just a temporary respite he’s giving her sort of underhandedly for an actual good cause to help her out of her situation?? Or is “death” or a death of the self the actual solution he had for her mess??? I mean... the metatextual awareness bit that he’s speaking through in the last sentence is clearly something like what comes of ascending completely and going beyond the story to be able to write it like Caliborn or Doc Scratch might or... y’know what, fuck it. I’ll understand it in later pages. I have to keep reading if this is going to make sense to me.

This next button better not lead straight back to the fucking selection screen again.

==>

Oh shit, a giant Dirk section. Only fitting that he might have been writing most of this all along possibly.

Undercurrent of narrative significance. Oh shit. Is he going to go off about Light, about the story parts not mattering? Or that the fact that this IS a story and... from what I accidentally skimmed in sentences below before reading further, how we’re trapping them in a story by reading it or something??? Hence the idea that their existences are being “blighted” by the subtext of narrative significance, and would be better FREE of it?

Huh. Is this really going to work? As, like... a body slam of people who were too caught up in the forest of narrative purpose to see into the trees of the point he wanted to make with the finale? It’s practically Andrew talking to the audience from within the story about their frustrations, heh.

Yeah, this whole rant is pretty awesome so far. I forgot to mention it a few paragraphs ago, but when you look at the story list, the Epilogues are listed as “stories of dubious authenticity”, so is this whole thing like... how DIRK might have written the ending out? Just to emphasize further that this whole thing is kind of pointless compared to the infinite possibility that was the reward for their escape from the confines of such story-stuff?

Cool. Sounds like we’re seeing the “good end” that Dirk would have written for this story if he were to write one that still answers plotlike questions, or something similar to it. That and/or he’s also engineering things in-canon -- or as “canon” as the victory planet is -- to follow all this for the end result he has in mind, and it comes across as practically Doc Scratch-y in the way it ties in metatextual awareness and stuff. Either way, it DOES feel like Andrew might successfully be making his point.

==>

Pff. This is going to be a bit interesting. And, of course, unstuck-in-canon John can hear the narrator speaking.

And now John has ANOTHER story to get annoyed at the narrator of, heh.

The tooth is poisoned? Really? Did you just make that up or?

Okay, why suddenly the wallet, fanfic writer? Is he going to find touching pictures or just captchalogue the black hole?

This is all starting to feel a whole lot less serious, and I can’t help but figure that’s the intent.

==>

Pff, back to the B plot. Yay Jade! --Please don’t be metatextually aware like John and let’s get more actual story.

Phew, seems to be the case

...Is Karkat going to remake this post-scarcity society to be more Communist? Is that where we’re going here?

Alright, Roxy’s gonna be all voidy and Neutral and not want an impact on the election, from the sound of it?

GAAAHHH Jade is in love with all her friends and afraid of being alone. AAAH FEELS

--Oh huh, so because Jane’s been in the distance putting on the Perfect act she thinks she has to pull, she’s gone down in her friends’ opinions even if that isn’t really her??? That’s pretty reassuring as an alternative, actually. Leave it to Roxy to see everything crystal goddamn clear as usual.

Ooh, pronoun mishap.

Holy SHIT Roxy’s gonna go along with it. That’s nonbinary-awesome! And Dirk’s just fucking flabbergasted, I love it.

Pff, Dirk’s screwing it up outside too

yep, everyone ectobiologically had kids with everyone, really.

Oh, ow. Something about the whole black hole green sun thing is fucking with her. That, or, like... Huh, might the whole metatextual ascension thing mean that she actually BECOMES that other Jade floating about for a hot minute, the one in the A-side plot??

==>

Ow this excellent narrative is pretty painful. Like, empathetically inducing pain through really good description of pain and angst. Ow.

Oh shit, alt!Calliope has a plan. Maybe she’s able to use this black hole to re-begin Paradox Space and close the loop once everything’s absorbed or something, and needs a Jade’s help for it?

==>

Phew, some relative silliness with some of the others. That vivid description of a Jade’s suffering was starting to give my stomach a cramp. Actually, ANY vivid description of Jade’s suffering gives my stomach a cramp. Or any allusion to it, even, heck even without WORDS. I saw a Jadey song redux show up on my Youtube dashboard a few nights ago and had to turn it off after less than thirty seconds because I was about to throw up listening to the tune and staring at the image from my stomach clenching SO HARD. I am WAY too attached to Jade in particular to tolerate her suffering without serious emotional feedback on my part.

Okay, breathe. Breathe deeply, and keep reading...

....PFF, yes, Karkat. Finally acknowledge it’s disgusting. Birth is disgusting from any species really.

Yaaaay Kanaya! :)

Pfffff, Dave does record scratches with his hands mid-conversation like a fucking dab. He would.

KANAYA: I Am Impressed That You Managed To Be Seen In Front Of That Many People Without Spontaneously Bursting Into Flames

I’m laughing

We internalize and project the quality in very different ways, however, which is why I’m going to win.

Win?!????

Win WHAT, the election??? Is that your only grand plan or... I mean fuck, way to be Doc-Scratch-like ominous! Reading on...

...Yeah, Feferi was definitely a proto-Fascist too. :)

Oh, huh. “Power Corrupts In Small Steps”... is this whole President thing going to be a big-ass metaphor for gaining your God powers without abusing them?? And pointing out that Jane is hella abusing her status in a way that COULD become villainous if it goes too far? Victory is supposed to give you the ability to create a universe, but you’re not necessarily supposed to lord over it with an iron fist...

KARKAT: WHEN I HEAR ABOUT HOW HUMAN GRUBS CHEW THEIR WAY OUT OF THE FEMALE MATESPRIT’S ABDOMINAL HOLE BEFORE CONSUMING THE WOMB MEMBRANE IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.

Pffffffff

KANAYA: He Is Beloved In The Troll Kingdom For His Perky Ass DAVE: seriously? KARKAT: I TOLD YOU IT’S NOT JUST ME! KANAYA: It Has Some Terrible Arcane Power KANAYA: I Have Never Seen Anything Like It

I am laughing out loud here

pff dave’s doubtlessly imagined this at least as much as the rest of us

YESSS make fun of ship names some more, especially the ship names I’m not a fan of even though I’m such a fan of the pairing :D

KANAYA: Im Going To Call My Wife And You Are Going To Stop Talking

Why do I love that sentence so much. Is it just because it has the word wife in it. Probably.

At the other side of the cavern, Dave and Karkat bicker about what their combo kids would look like, in the event that they decided to stop being such laughable wusses and began fornicating like two cartoon animals of different species who have given into their lust.

Pffff. Yeah, Dirk would put it that way.

Pffffff. Not as adept at handling all sides of the story at the same time as you were as part of Doc, eh?

==>

Reading reading reading... Oh, adorable, he tried to slip a fish pun into Meenah’s name but couldn’t think of one.

...Oh SHIT, is he going to give Meenah the ring of life she wanted??? :D

Oh pff, that works too. :D

==>

Okay, time for maybe at least a SLIGHT explanation of whatever the FUCK Dirk might have or might not have done to Rose or something????

...Huh. What exactly are you trying to “fix” about Kanaya and Rose’s relationship, Dirk? Something that didn’t fix itself with just the two of them together?

I mean...... Rose’s substance abuse never fixed itself when it was just two of them together on the first-run meteor. And she’s been taking pills and trying to stave off her destiny out of fear while her wife hasn’t really been digging into her insecurities... I mean maybe he has a point.

SHADOWS around her?????? D:

==>

Yeah yeah, John drifting. I just remembered what one of those “server beacons” they were mentioning actually is, too, visually. Knowing it had an escape route helped.

What are you even gonna do with the slippers, gift them to Terezi when she comes flying in? (Also, right, just remembered he’s a Breath player so it’s only natural that he actually finds whatever there is to find “coincidentally” around here, like that wallet.)

Ooh, you REALLY were thinking about Terezi over the past years from the sound of it. And here she is or whatever. :)

1 C4N ST1LL TOUCH TYP3 1N H3R L33T SP34K W1THOUT 4NY 4SS1ST4NC3 3XC3PT C4PS LOCK ON 4FT3R 4LL TH3S3 Y34RS >:]

==>

Okay okay okay wait. Her shadow is talking??? Is this, like... Jungian shadow stuff? Inversion shadow stuff? What the fuck is going on. It better not be Inversion-related.

Let me read that again.

Her shadow has faded to light behind her, assuming the shape of a Rose-like apparition. I nod to her, and she continues. When she speaks, it’s almost as if it’s the apparition that’s doing the talking.

That’s weird and I don’t entirely know what it means. I’d better just keep fucking reading.

Fun philosophical banter. I didn’t know what “Hegelian dialectics” were until I read some big rant on someone’s Fallout New Vegas playthrough earlier last month.

ROSE: I think free will is a thing, sure. DIRK: Are you sure about that? ROSE: ... DIRK: Haven’t we spent the entire day having a feelings jam on how none of us got here by accident?

Ah, here we’re going with some Ultimate Riddle-y stuff.

Or wait, are we adding a bit on to that concept now? Because it now seems like a large PART of the Ultimate Riddle stuff I covered (FUCK dropbox for breaking all the images) that might be revealed in this part of the damn epilogue is the whole the-only-way-to-have-true-free-will-is-to-escape-the-narrative-imposed-on-us or something along with the rest of it.

Hm, that whole “become One God” bit that Dirk ranted about in the beginning of one of the John sections... is that his ambition here? I didn’t comment on the rantparagraph earlier because the “one” part of it threw me as possibly just some philosophical stuff he was musing about, but it’s like... I mean Dirk is the narrator right now, and it sounds like he wants to *BE* the narrator. Like, become the one truly in control of this whole story. With his orange Andrew-colored text or whatever. Is that what he meant by “win”, winning control of the entire narrative, turning everyone else in the story into mere extensions of himself that he was “writing” by virtue of being the only author?

And him getting thwarted in that task, showing that it’s better if there really is NO narrator and the characters can do whatever they imagine in infinite branches and our imaginations, is the victory that proves the point of the story. Or something. Hmm.

Also, huh. Like... I mean that IS a natural extension of a Prince of Heart if he were to turn to villainy. A grand ambition to destroy everyone’s individuality until they’re nothing but Himself. Right?

DIRK: Your Ultimate Self, that which is revealed when the mind’s partitions are stripped away, and all potentiality of who you are and what you could have been flow together. DIRK: Those are the experiences and processes that are refusing to stay bundled, that’s what your body can’t endure. The unbundling itself is your mind coming apart. DIRK: Because you’re not as strong as me. Not yet. DIRK: But you can be. DIRK: I’m working on that.

Because she’ll “BE” you? Because you’ll be everyone? Hm.

DIRK: But for now, I’m focused on stabilizing you with my own expanding consciousness. DIRK: It’s enveloping you now, in a way you can’t see. Keeping your thoughts solid, your identity anchored to your physical form as it strains to hold itself together. DIRK: You can’t see it, what I’m talking about. But I can help you. DIRK: I can help you see what I see, if only for a little while. DIRK: All you have to do is open your eyes. DIRK: Maybe what you see will help you through this.

Okay so maybe this all ain’t TOTALLY fucking sinister. Just partially. Hmm.

I’m not going to describe what she sees. First of all, that would be spoiling it. Unless you already know, in which case, I guess what’s taking place here qualifies as something closer to dramatic irony. But if you really want to see it for yourself, stop what you’re doing, flip the whole thing over, and begin again. I’ll be right here when you get back, waiting. Trust me, no one’s going anywhere.

Hahahahah. So the candy part IS written. I mean I was pretty sure, but it’s nice to have it acknowledged here. Pretty awesome. I won’t stop here to read it, I’ll get to the candy part eventually as a nice dessert.

All she needs is a nudge in the right direction.

We’re family. We belong together. And after years of micromanaging the inconsistent and confused desires of total imbeciles, wouldn’t it be a relief to have someone by my side who understood me?

Stop being so incestuous. Dirk, you’re just getting off on the CONCEPT of incest being part of the flavor of all this, aren’t you. That’s why you kept pushing things this way, you want it to be as uncomfortable as possible.

...wait, yeah he’s just talking about being a metatextual ascended, isn’t he.

Her body should be dead now.

I’M SORRY WHAT THE FLYING FUCK.

And Rose has... what, ascended but somehow given in to Dirk’s puppeteering of existence, or? Ugh.

Next post, I wanna keep reading already to get through all this bullshit. Then once I’ve figured it all out, I can rest comfortably back with the Candy side which Rose practically just promised me is potentially TOO SUGARY which is really enticing as a prospect.

#Homestuck #Homestuck Epilogue #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #bladekindeyewear #BlastYoBoots

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