#also so few relationships between women on this server
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I have a love-hate relationship with Purgatory, which I will not do a deep dive analysis right now.
But the one thing I would kinda like too complain about was how it completed fucked up Baghera joining "Cellbit is killing the workers" lore.
Honest, I wanted Baghera, Bad and Bagi would deal with the situation, I wanted more Baghera and Bagi interaction! I wanted to see how the whole Baghera and Bad X Bagi discussion would affect Bagi and her trust on Bad! How would this arc would affect Baghera and her complicated relationship with the Federation!
Now after the Purgatory I feel that all this setup was destroy.
At least I hope to see how Baghera will be affected after what she went throw on the Purgatory, and if she will still be in Bad's and Bagi's side after eating some corpses with Cellbit.
#qsmp#purgatory neg#qsmp neg#not really#just a bit upset#also so few relationships between women on this server#romantic and platonic#qsmp baghera#qsmp bagi#qsmp badboyhalo
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Queer? In my John Winchester?
It’s more likely than you think!
Sorry — but not really.
So, it’s 2022, there’s a Supernatural show on, and I am sitting at my desk wondering how to actually start talking about a queer reading for a character that many don’t like the idea of being queer.
No I’m not talking about Dean Winchester — I’m talking about John.
I remember waaaay back when in Ye Olden Times of June 2021 when the show’s script commitment was leaked, myself and a few others on Tumblr tossed around the idea of “Omg what if they make John queer, he’s in a relationship with another guy, and then heaven forces them apart because he has to be with Mary.”
And that wasn’t out of a desire to just have a slash ship. Those happen regardless, all the time, with little to no warning and little to no reason sometimes. Shipping happens. Shipping doesn’t have to be canon, doesn’t really have to make sense, and is a personal thing between you and your AO3 account.
From my perspective, I had been wondering if they’d do it simply because the meta symbolism comparison — whatever — would be so great for Destiel and that ship’s journey.
And, I still stand by that, and if anything, even more so now that I’ve had more time to think about it and see the characters on my screen.
While watching 1x04 of The Winchesters, Masters of War, even mid-episode, Twitter and Tumblr and likely your Discord servers were all ablaze with “What was that look that John just gave Carlos in that uniform? Millie? What?” and especially after this tweet:
Just gonna do one of these while I’m at it:
Anyway —
But for me, that wasn’t the only moment my brain starting firing when it came to the possibility of John and Carlos.
First of all, since we know where John and Mary are eventually going to end up, this show can’t hurt me. I’m already expecting to be hurt. It’s not queerbaiting, it’s not anything like that. Also, especially now, very much not queerbaiting. Coding is not baiting. But regardless, I had gone into this show fully expecting to just start shipping everyone for everyone just because why not?
But after 1x04 I legitimately will be paying more attention to John/Carlos.
For me, the most interesting thing about Destiel was that it kinda was born organically. Cas wasn’t meant to be a character that stuck around but the chemistry was too good to get rid of him, and the story just made sense with him there tbh. It was over the years and years that these two were on screen together in which it went from “Yay, a slash ship that’s not with his brother!” to “Oh my God are they going to make this canon? It makes the most sense!”
The thing with Destiel is that since it was organic, it was born outside of the narrative. Cas was the first one to “make it up as we go,” he exists outside the narrative.
The whole thing when it comes to Chuck Won theory for me is that Cas is a threat to Chuck because he exists outside of the narrative and kept trying to get Dean to go along with him — subconciously of course lol. [Side note, this is why I don’t believe Cas is in heaven, because if indeed Chuck won, Cas wouldn’t be there. Cas is ‘real’, he’s ‘truth’].
Destiel is a pairing, a love story, outside of the actual story while directly influencing the narrative that Chuck is trying to dole out to us.
It was a brat, the suits/Chuck couldn’t control it, and once it started rolling down the hill, no one could stop it.
Destiel was the character pairing that broke the narrative.
Now, when it comes to The Winchesters, we have a bit of a thing going on here don’t we? We have four characers: Two young women, two young men. This is actually prime fodder for a shipping free for all.
Carlos already expressed his once crush on Mary, Latika [to me at least] is kind of crushing on John, and John and Mary, we know, wind up together regardless.
However — John and Mary are the narrative. That’s The Plan TM. That’s heaven’s outcome, that’s Chuck’s outcome, that’s the thing that needs to happen for the story to play out how they want it to. John and Mary don’t have a choice in this.
But, they both still need a relationship outside of the narrative for contrast.
The thing with Supernatural is that we never had Sam or Dean have ‘narrative compliant’ relationships. There was no need to have them hook up with someone to make children who are destined to bring about the apocalypse or whatever. That was all on them. That was supposed to end with Sam and Dean.
But The Winchesters has a narrative couple, even if they don’t know it yet. For me, John and Mary still seem like just friends, they all do really, and while sometimes they’ll have talks in the van or heartfelt speeches to each other already with piano music softly playing overhead — it still doesn’t feel like romance. If anything, in 1x03 with John’s words about Mary and having to save her, it felt more like we’re inching more towards brother co-dependency than not.
Since we have a narrative couple, and we already know what that is, we need a non-narrative couple. We need John and Mary to seek relationships with others, and probably get a little farther with it than just one date. We need something outside of the narrative that’s threatening to also take John and Mary along as well. John and Mary need their Cas, because they certainnly aren’t Dean and Cas to each other.
“But Jen, why not just have John with Latika?”
Because I said so! No, just kidding, because Carlos makes more sense to me in this case.
It’s been clear to a lot of us watching that Carlos really captures the attitude and spirit of early seasons Dean. A little over confident, likely compensating for something. Withholding emotional stuff, maybe a little cavelier in his love life, and hell we even got a “why does paper even beat a rock” reference in 1x04.
But in 1x04, it feels like Carlos was also set up with Cas parallels.
Carlos was in the Navy, he was in the service, just like John. Dean and Cas were also ordered basically to “fight” by their fathers, and were essentially soldiers of their own corners of the narrative.
But, Carlos isn’t a soldier. He’s a medic. He’s a healer. First thing I thought of was “Oh, Cas healed people and Dean all the time.” That’s one of the things I associate with Cas a lot is just healing, both physical wounds and emotional ones.
I find it interestingly fasincating that Carlos was put in contrast to John like this. Dean and Cas to me were on the same level whereas Carlos felt like almost the polar opposite to John. He didn’t illegally sign up for the war while underaged, he wasn’t really looking for a fight, and he did none of the fighting but instead helped those who were wounded in the fighting. Whereas John entered the war underaged, was a Marine, and likely saw so many atrocities unfold before him including the death of his friend Murphy.
The Destiel parallels didn’t end there for me.
It seems like we’re test driving John with the different characters. He’s with Mary, alone. Then he’s with Latika, alone. And now he’s with Carlos for most of the episode, alone. So it feels like it’s almost like I’m watching The Bachelor lol. You have the winner who was engineered by producers to be the pick at the end of the competition [Mary], the one who actually was in it to find love with the Bachelor [Latika] and the one that the Bachelor actually fell in love with [Carlos].
[I’ve never seen this show lmao I’m actually modeling this off of Flavor Of Love but shh don’t tell anyone]
Obviously, my saying John is in love with Carlos is literally just me saying that. Literally no proof of that right now. I’m just saying if we’re going to throw some tropes in there, that’s where I’d slot him in.
So getting back to Destiel parallels — I found the jungle space that John and Carlos wound up in so interesting. It really reminded me of Purgaytory. Yes I’m spelling it that way.
When Carlos stepped on the mine and said John’s name like that, like Murphy did but also just like that, idk. Struck something in me. But I also found it interesting that he was in there at all. All the other people that this god killed were on their own. But now it’s both Carlos and John, and the god is using Carlos to try and like, convince John to do what it wants John to do.
Obviously, we know that despite his claims otherwise, John did wind up doing what the god wanted him to do and did in fact kinda give into his inner demons, which we saw play out the entire episode as John struggled hard.
For me, John needs someone who’s going to tempt him away from the narrative, away from going down this bad path of running instead of confronting his inner demons, and away from the narrative pairing that will eventually be with Mary. He needs someone who will help steer him away from all of this, because the narrative has to have something to rip away from him. And progress would be that thing that the narrative strips away.
And to me, yes I wouldn’t mind it being Latika either but I’m aligning her more with Mary at the moment. So for me, it’d be Carlos. Another ‘brother in arms’ [see what I did there], someone who does understand the trauma of seeing what he saw, and experienced more or less what he experienced. Someone who is that beacon of hope and light [even though I’m sure Carlos has his own issues obviously] that would make John want to confront his issues intead of run from them.
So, when I see fun Destiel parallels to John and Carlos I like them, but I’m also thinking about the meta narrative implications of this. A queer ship, for outside of the narrative, that will wind up getting the axe in order to serve the narrative. Because isn’t that what happened with Destiel, and Dean’s right to reciprocate being taken away from him [literally. the final monsters ripped people’s tongues out and he never said Cas’ name after that phone call in 15x19].
To mark a full tragedy and degradation of John Winchester, it’d be great to me anyway if they do the same with him.
Now —
I know post-episode there were some loud dissenters and those who aren’t happy about this concept that John could be queer, especially if it’s more upfront about it than Dean ever truly got a chance to do.
And for that, I understand, however I’m choosing to view this as a good thing because if they can slap on as many callbacks to Destiel as they can with these two, but knowing that with these two it’s going to fail while with Destiel more or less succeeded*, I’m choosing to call a win a win. I also don’t believe symbolism, meta, and story for The Winchesters should be sacrificed because of decisions made for a separate show that began in 2005 and tried its hardest to deliver undeniably queer Dean in its 15 year long run.
*Dean never go to say I Love You back, however I’m a continuation believer, and I also think the metaphorical silence was pretty loud.
A lot of folks choose to see adult John as homophobic, a headcanon/fanon trait that I can 100% understand where folks come from. However it’s not canon that he is, and it’s never been implied in the show either. Therefore, I feel like that point of debate is one I don’t really take all that seriously, because it’s someone’s personal reading of a character, and not tangible canon.
A queer John Winchester would I think give us the chance to add more fuel to the Destiel fire, while also giving us the chance to grieve a love story that could have been, and grieve a person that John could have been instead of the one that he became. Queer people aren’t always good, kind, reasonable, and understanding. Sometimes they can, indeed, grow into being terrible people.
The Winchesters is ultimately a tragedy. No one is going to win at the end of the day. It’s like watching a run away train and being unable to stop the characters from making the choices that we know will lead them not to safety but to mortal danger.
But if they can give us peeks into what could have been, that’ll make it so much more tragic in a way that really resonates with us.
#long post#spnwin#spnwin meta#john winchester#jarlos#1x04#0104#I'M SORRY GOD THIS IS SO FUCKING LONG#I HOPE I MADE SENSE#I WROTE THIS ON MY BREAK#i'm not going to let jarlos go#now that i have it in my hands you're never going to pry it from me
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Our Little Secret
↢ ❦ ↣
Synopsis: Before having a family with Ran take a look at how it all started.
Pairing: (Bonten!) Ran Haitani x (Fem!) Reader
Contains: Fluff? Implied Sexual Content, Pre-relationship, mentioned pregnancy.
A/N: I tried putting this in more of a younger [name]'s perspective to express some awkwardness before getting comfortable with Ran.
[1] [2] [3]
Your parents weren’t the best— no, they were actually the worst people to seek help from. So you really had to do everything on your own.
Your older siblings left the second they turned eighteen, leaving you alone with those people who don’t deserve the title “parents”. None of your siblings even offered you help or advice, they just left.
Your friend's parents were better than yours. They paid for their children's college tuition and their textbooks.
You ended up getting into college with a scholarship. But that didn’t cover the textbooks you needed. That’s why you were currently lacking sleep, and sitting with a bunch of old women who requested you.
The nightclub you worked at was huge. There were different areas occupied by many men and women who were most likely only going to be one night stands. never to talk to each other again.
You know that because you’ll see the same men and women come in and leave with different people.
“You are really young to be working here, no?”
you were torn out of your thoughts by one of the women sitting next to you. She had a joint in one of her hands, the smell of it going directly into your nose.
You scrunch your face, “Ahhaha…They really don’t seem to care who they hire here” You chuckle, pushing a strand of [hair, braids, etc.] behind your left ear.
It was true. This place was apparently run by some huge secret organization, the current boss was just a decoy—which he was aware of. Only staff knew that, and they’ve been loyal for years. You were barely informed about it a few months ago during a meeting between trusted staff and the boss.
They real masterminds were careless, because they knew they would never be in the spotlight if the place ever got raided.
“Well if I may be excused, I have another table to serve” You politely excuse yourself after feeling a buzz in your bra.
It was a small square screen that every server had. Appearing on the screen would be a number representing the tables, or it would be a short sentence of where you’re needed.
The women giggle and wave you off, not before stuffing their tips under the shoulder straps on your dress. You had waved them off, suggesting they come again soon.
“Looks like you found yourself new customers” The bartender—also a very close friend of yours—winks with a teasing tone.
You pull out the device from your bra and set it down on the counter, rolling your eyes. “Why was I called?” You asked, gesturing towards the buzzer.
The man picks it up and magically makes it stop vibrating. “Someone has requested you. VIP room six, second floor” He informs, sliding it back over to you. “Don’t fuck it up”
You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “What? Are these guys undercover cops or something” You ask, resting your chin on your palm.
The older man shakes his head and leans closer to you, making sure no one was in earshot range.
“they're the ones that own this place”
Your body froze at his words.
It was easy for him to lean back and go back to cleaning the counter, unfazed by the situation.
However, you were the one serving them. You might as well just die.
“You’re the only one I can trust with this tonight” The dark haired male admits, throwing the rag over his shoulder. “Tana and Rei are too dumb to even remember simple orders. And the others are new, so they don’t know anything about them” He explains.
You swallow the lump in your throat and nod your head. “Of course, you don’t have anything to worry about” you assure.
Obviously he had nothing to worry about.
if you fucked up, then you were most likely going to die. not him.
+++
By now you were already in front of the door your manager assigned you to. Your legs wanted to give out just seeing the number six on the door, knowing Tokyo’s biggest gang is on the other side.
You didn’t want to keep them waiting. So you took one last final deep breath and reached for the doorknob, twisting it gently as ever.
Only an inch open and you could hear their voices mixing. You couldn’t tell how many there were, and you simply didn’t want to know.
Once you enter the room you immediately take notice of one of the new servers. He wasn’t much older than you, maybe in his third year of college. But you knew he wasn’t supposed to be there.
“That's our server” you heard one of the men say as they stare the boy down.
“Kyo, this is where I was assigned” You didn’t want to come off as rude, but these new staff just couldn’t listen and always caused trouble for everyone.
“Tana told me to—”
You pull the device out from your shirt and swipe past a few screens, turning it around to show red words that say “V.I.P ROOM 6: [NAME]”
The male huffed and walked past you, purposely bumping his shoulder on yours.
like always, trouble.
You mentally sigh and lock the door once he is out. “I apologize for the inconvenience” Your voice went soft as you turned to the-
eight men?!
You had to take a moment to collect yourself from all the intense stares. You couldn’t meet a single one, you thought you would piss yourself if you did. So instead you bowed.
“If there’s anything you’d like to get started on, I’d be more than happy to take your order” You announce, raising back up from your greeting.
Your eyes ended up landing on some sort of open folder displayed in front of a man with white hair. You noticed there was a small photo in the corner of it.
“[name] [last name]…” The man spoke first. “taking a gap year to raise money for college needs…nineteen years old…comes from a drug abusive family…blah blah blah” He read aloud, making you grip the device in your hands.
They had your information. Well why wouldn’t they?!
“huh” A man with the pink mullet hums. “Guess you really aren’t that different, how disappointing” His lips curled up into a smirk.
The same white haired man waved him off. “So [name]” he calls, making your chest tighten. “Do you…know who we are?” he asks, dull and dark eyes staring right into yours.
don’t fuck it up.
don’t fuck it up.
don’t fuck it up!
“I apologize sir but I don’t have a clue on who you may be” You answer. “But i’m more than happy to get you started on drinks” You suggest, raising the small device up and switching to the notepad screen.
fuck, that was extremely hard.
From afar you couldn’t see it, but the corner of his lips slightly curved up into a satisfied smirk.
‘So they are training them to say it. good’
For a good twenty minutes you stood there as they went around the table, ordering what bottles they wanted. They would end up getting off track and bickering with each other, that’s what caused the delay.
You had to admit, their shameless bickering for some reason brought comfort to you. As if this wasn’t going to be bad after all.
+++
“I think i’m gonna puke”
Your manager rolls his eyes as you take a seat on the bar stool, hands covering your mouth while your eyes go wide.
“Well get used to it love” He says, looking down at the small screen you dropped, memorizing what bottles to send with you.
“Huh? Wait, I can just drop it off and leave, right?” You grip the counter.
“Yeahhh, these aren’t your typical “V.I.P’s” remember?” He cocks an eyebrow, placing two bottles onto the counter. “They requested you with a full stay” he informs, making your lips part.
He begins to put the bottles in an eight cup carrier, oblivious to your panicking face.
“Tadashi, I feel like a mice in a room with sna—”
Cutting off your sentence was the man reaching over and slapping a hand against your mouth.
You widen your eyes and yank his hand off. “What the hell?!”
“You want to survive the night? I suggest you don’t talk about them like that” He harshly whispers, sliding the crate over to you. “Trust me doll, you’ll be fine” He assures, changing his voice to a softer tone.
You wanted to just stay there the entire night. Wishing someone else would take your shift and customers.
But once again you found yourself in front of the door that scared you so much. The drink carrier in one hand, and your work device in the other. This time you were a little more prepared.
You opened the door, walking in the middle of a conversation you obviously have no interest in.
You do your best to cancel their voices out as you go around passing the respected bottle choices along with setting down shots, and regular sized glasses—depending on their option of booze.
It wasn't until you passed out the last bottle and crossed out its name on your virtual notepad when you felt a hand reach up to your hip.
That’s when the room got silent.
“did you not hear me, doll?”
You avert your eyes away from the screen and only had to look down a little until you were met with lilac colored eyes.
You swallowed the lump forming in your throat and nervously shook your head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that” you apologize.
The man squints his eyes and looks down to your waist, using his fingers to pinch your skin and tug on it, making you widen your eyes.
“hm…I thought the servers were supposed to show more skin?” he questions, looking over at the white haired male you assume was the actual boss behind everything.
You furrowed your eyebrows. You thought servers already showed enough skin. Well, what you have to wear is exposing way more skin then you’d enjoy.
During the week every staff would have to throw in ideas for a theme. You could never use the same theme more than once unless it’s already been a month or two.
On this specific night it happened to be a “forest” theme. The women staff were required to wear a dress or a tank top with a skirt. Dancers wore their usual attire along with adding something small having to do with the theme. And the male staff only had to flash a smile and they were good for the night.
For tonight’s themes you wore a white, sleeveless, pencil dress that went from the top of your neck and to the end of your thighs. You had white wrapped heels that went all the way around your calves, stopping just below your knees. It created “X” shapes on the front of your legs. On each heel was a white daisy with one green leaf—The leaves matched your earrings identically. You even had little white daisy clips in your hair.
You had soft makeup applied, not wanting to break out with any pimples. You did however add green eyeshadow, black eyeliner, and lashes to make your [color] eyes pop.
Another tug to your waist brought you out of your thoughts.
“[name], was it?” The same man asked.
You nodded your head.
The violet eyed man smiles and points a finger to his empty glass. “Be a dear and pour my drink for me. My wrist has just been hurting too much lately” he requested, finally letting go of you.
However, before you could even show a reaction, someone tugged at your opposite arm.
“Mine too, might as well get our moneys worth” The pink haired man from earlier said.
“Oi, is that anyway to treat a woman?” The man with the scar on the left side of his face rolls his eyes at the two.
“I’m sure [name] doesn’t mind, right [name]?”
You meet the first man's eyes again, instantly nodding your head in agreement. “If it’s what you request then I don’t have an issue with it” you assure.
Soon enough, everyone around the table made their own request of you pouring their drinks for them.
Let’s just say, it was a busy night.
About four hours later of walking around pouring drinks, going out to get refills, and earning teasing remarks—they had finally wrapped things up.
“[name]”
You looked up from the ground and meet eyes with the one you found out was named Mikey. He was in the middle of putting his coat on.
“If you repeat a single word of anything discussed within this room, or mention that we were ever here—” His words were already making your chest tighten.
“I’ll kill you”
you might as well just piss yourself now.
You inhale a deep breath and close your eyes before bowing your head. “I don’t recall you ever being here” You state.
“good”
With his response you lift your head back up, watching him throw some cash on the table—most likely your tip.
He was the first to walk past you, not sparing you a glance. Everyone else followed behind, and you memorized every single one of them.
“Think we found ourself a new personal server” Sanzu winked.
“Can't wait to see the other themes” Takeomi, the hypocrite, mumbled.
“Idiots…” Kakucho rolled his eyes.
The others also had a remark directed towards you or your features. It felt like it took forever just for them all to leave. But even when you reached the end of the line, one lingered behind.
The man that tugged your waist earlier, Ran.
He purposely walked slow, watching as his colleagues exit the room. His hands were tucked into his suit, a small smile formed on his lips.
“You know…”
You looked up at him for one last time that night.
“you’re way too pretty to be working somewhere like this”
Your face expressed that you were puzzled. But your eyes showed admiration.
Ran grabed your hand, placing who knows how many bills in your palm. He had personally handed you the tip, unlike the others who left it on the table.
He left you with a wink that night.
+++
It seemed after your first interaction, Bonten started to have frequent meetings in the club you worked at.
And every time they would request you to be their server. always requesting a full stay.
You couldn’t deny the fact that you enjoyed being their server. They tipped very well. What they tip you a night is more than what you get tipped in a week. And that’s saying a lot.
You even started to pick up on a few things between them all. How Sanzu and Takeomi share interest in the same booze. Or how the Haitani brothers always seem to appear in matching suits. And you even picked up on how they all have the same tattoo, just in different places of their body.
Every time you would serve them they always requested you hand pour the booze yourself. It started to become a natural thing that they didn’t even have to ask anymore.
It also became a frequent occurrence that when you would pour the liquor, they would mess with an accessory on your outfit, or actually tug at your clothing/skin.
On nights you didn’t work or had to call in sick, they would be displeased with the club service. So to make sure that never happened again, Mikey personally took a look at your schedules and changed them himself or worked around it.
He even made you work on your birthday. It’s not like you were doing anything important anyways.
Sometimes they’d even wait till you were done serving a table. Other times they’d tell your manager to find someone to replace you just so you could serve them.
However, one thing you took a major notice in was Ran.
It seemed he was the one who showed more interest in you than the others.
Every night when they left they would all tip you. Ran would always end up tipping you the most, sometimes even more than the others combined. Following his personal handed tip was always a new flirty comment.
“Those clips make you more beautiful”
“Have your eyes always been that captivating?”
“Oh come on doll, it’s okay to smile with me”
He loved the way you’d become flustered at his comments. Always hiding your face with a hand as a shy smile made a way to your lips.
Maybe it was the abandonment issues and loss of touch that made you so interested in him. He probably said this to a lot of girls, right?
“here”
However, one certain night is what made you realize just how much of an interest he took in you.
You hold the cash in your hands, feeling his warm ones slip away. You tilted your head when you saw a small piece of white paper be mixed in with the money.
The paper had numbers on it.
“Is this your number?” You asked, looking up at him.
Ran nodded his head. “Text me if you ever need help with anything. Or if you’re in trouble, or just bored…” He trailed off, offering a sweet smile.
He lifted his left arm, using his hand to brush his knuckles against your cheek, reaching it further back to push strands of your hair behind your ear.
Another moment of you two alone should’ve ended minutes ago. But here he was, closing in on you.
“Ran—” You whisper, placing a hand on his chest as he backs you up into the wall. “don’t keep them waiting” you say, glancing at the open door.
“They can leave, we all brought our own cars anyways” he assures, using his other hand to tilt your head up towards his. “Perhaps you can even go home with me” he suggested, making your stomach twist and chest tighten.
His hand that pushed your hair out of the way lowered down to your waist, bunching up the pink tank top you wore. His cold and slender finger-tips digging into your skin.
“What theme is it tonight? Barbie themed?”
You nervously nodded your head, slowly retracting your hand away from his chest. It felt like a frog was in your throat, you couldn’t say anything but hold your breath.
“Come on now…” He leans his head closer to yours, noses a pinch away from touching. “Tell me I can kiss you. Ask me to kiss you. with your own words” You could feel his breath fan over your lips.
You tried shaking your head, but his hand that tilted your head up by your chin wrapped under your jaw. four of his fingers on the left side of your face while his thumb is on the opposite.
You had to admit that you took the most interest in him as well.
The attention he showed you. The touch you never received growing up. The compliments you never heard.
you loved it.
you loved him.
You slowly nod your head, eyes darting to his lips and back up to his lilac eyes. “Kiss me, Ran” you give your permission.
Without another thought crossing his mind, Ran attaches his lips to yours. He tilted your head more, lowering his own to properly connect your mouths.
He was obviously experienced unlike you. Your eyes were wide, noticing how his own were shut.
He wasn’t rough. He didn’t do it like he was in a rush.
He was patient and considerate.
His lips were warm and soft. His hand placement on your body wasn’t as tight anymore, they had relaxed the second your mouths connected.
you could feel his mouth part as he tilts his head to the side in order to prevent your guys noses from bumping any further.
You didn’t know what to do, which was really embarrassing.
Ran didn’t mind. He was too caught up with your perfume he now had the chance of smelling even stronger. He loved how you didn’t know where to put your hands. He loved the way you tensed your body from the feeling.
He loved having the honor to be the first person to show you such affection.
Noticing the way you started to wiggle he opened his eyes and pulled away—but not by much. Your faces were still inches apart, close enough that you felt each other’s breath.
“Did I just have to figure out that you’re twenty years old and never had your first kiss?”
His tone was teasing, but his eyes showed deep affection.
Your lips were left parted along with your expression being a mix of flustered and bothered.
“Did I just have to find out I'm kissing a twenty-six year old who’s been through many girls?” You finally spoke, words coming out harsh.
The man laughs and leans back a little more, “just girls?” He cocks an eyebrow.
You furrow your eyebrows and scoff, shoving him off of you. “Whatever” you mumble, walking to the table to collect the tips.
He caught your arm before you could get far and pulled you back to his chest, staring down at you with admirable eyes.
“One more before I go?”
Your bothered expression softened to a curious one. “I'd rather you grow a new pair of lips. Who knows whose mouth I'm kissing” you say in a flat tone.
The man just watches you collect the money, folding it into your bra while collecting the glasses as well.
He had to come clean, he loved seeing you work like that.
Ran decided to back off for the night, for he was in no rush to make you two official. He already knew the connection both of you shared was tightly secured, and that it wasn’t going anywhere. He knew he was yours, and that you were his.
“Don’t let that paper go, or we’ll have some problems” He mumbles, leaving one last peck on the side of your cheek from behind.
You didn’t exactly want him to go that night, nor did you want him leaving so soon any other night.
Because when Ran left, you felt alone all over again.
You only had his tips, words, and brief touch to think about for the rest of the night. Then overwhelming thoughts of him treating different women the same way would crowd your mind. You didn’t like that there was a chance this was a one-sided crush.
Even with access to his number you still felt alone. He wasn’t physically there, leaving you alone and no part of him to comfort you.
No one ever showed you the amount of affection and love Ran Haitani did.
Boys in middle-school and high-school would use your family issues as an advantage, gaslighting you into thinking no one would ever love you the way they do. Shamelessly degrading you about the way you act and dress isn’t appropriate for a girl, blaming your family for not raising you right.
Their words would make you cry the second they said them. In public, in their room, at school, etc.
You only realized now how they didn’t apologize when tears stained your face. They were manipulators, leading the situation into making you their doll. Their puppet. Their plaything. Their phase.
Ran didn’t do any of those things.
+++
“Do you like it?”
By now it’s been about a year and a half since you’ve met Ran. And still you two weren’t official.
However, that didn’t mean you two weren’t together.
Ran would try taking you back to his home since it was more secure, but you mostly rejected at first. And you wouldn’t exactly let him go to your home either, for obvious reasons.
So it was mainly meetups at fancy hotels. You didn’t like the idea of him paying for unnecessary things. But his claim was that if he got to see you, then he didn’t care.
Currently you leaned up against Rans chest while he had his back leaning on the headboard of the bed. In your hands was a small open box, soft black texture filling your palms. Reflecting in your eyes was a luxurious silver necklace. The pendent was a locket, shaped like a heart.
That wasn’t even the part that made your body go stiff. It was the way the locket dropped into a four leaf clover shape when you opened it, four different pictures of you and him.
His arm around your shoulders gave you a squeeze, bringing you back to your senses.
You close the box and set it between you two, examining the necklace even more with a smile. “The best gift i’ve gotten all day” you admit, lifting your head up and placing a quick kiss on his lips.
Ran used his other hand to caress your cheek before bringing you back for another loving moment. Though he had to say he was quite tired from the night you two shared. A night like any other when you two meet up at the hotels.
“Happy birthday, love”
Moments like these are the reasons you’re so insecure about moving forward with him. You feared what you two had was too good to be true. That the love Ran offered you was nothing but false hope.
It worsened your trust issues. But it increased your obsession.
“[name]...” Ran had pulled your head more onto his bare chest. “How much longer are we gonna play this game?” he asked, fingers twirling in your hair.
You cupped the necklace in one hand while your other wrapped around his lower stomach. “I don’t follow what you mean” you say in a tremulous tone.
He scoffed past a smile but continued to caress your hair. “I feel as if I’ve given you more than enough time…” he started off, fingers trailing the love bites on your shoulders and neck. “When will the day come that you become my girlfriend?”
It might actually be time for you to admit a dirty secret.
Your main obsession was Ran, obviously. But part of the obsession was that you loved the way he treated you. The way it was basically a game of cat and mouse between you two. How Ran would always do anything to make you happy.
You loved seeing the effort he put into pleasing you. How he wouldn’t stop unless you were officially his. And maybe that was a bad thing for you to take a liking in.
But Ran wasn’t any better.
“The day you ask me is the day I’ll say yes”
“Have I not been asking?”
You separate yourself from the man and lean yourself up against the headboard. “Gifting me things isn’t exactly asking me, you know?” You tilt your head with a smile. “If I knew that was your way of asking me then I would’ve straight up asked you to be my boyfriend” You joke, carefully setting the locket on the hotel nightstand.
Ran slides further down the board, head almost reaching his pillow. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a deep breath.
You lower your smile and instinctively scoot closer to him, pulling his head to rest just below your chest covered in his loose tee. His own arms easily snaked around your waist as he adjusted himself to your touch. Loving the feeling of your nails running over his scalp.
You found it fascinating how much Ran loved being babied and taken care of by you. How he would easily fold when your arms wrapped around him. You probably enjoyed moments like this more than when he takes care of you.
“There’s this thought that runs in my mind everytime I think about you,” he admits. The tone in his voice was one you’ve never heard before. It sounded shaky, almost as if he was going to break down. “I fear that if we don’t get together then…then the beautiful children of Ran and [name] won’t get to experience this world”
Of course. Why would anyone expect Ran Haitani to be straight with his feelings?
You pulled a strand of his hair, making him laugh and dig his head into your stomach to yank his hair out of your grip.
“You are way too annoying” you rolled your eyes.
Ran calmed to a natural smile, agreeing with your statement. “Yeah, but, you’re the only one who puts up with it. Makes us perfect for each other, you know?” He asks, turning his head which then gives him the opportunity to stare at your features.
“Ran, just ask me already”
“Ask you what, sweetheart?” He teasingly shuts his eyes.
“Don’t make me ask it first, idiot”
Ran pushes himself up and sits on the back of his legs. “In no universe will I let you ask first” He sternly states, playfully shoving your leg. It reminded you that he still has that childish mindset, most likely due to the fact he had to push it aside to raise his brother.
He grabs one of your hands, pulling you to sit up straight. “[name] [last name]-”
“erm…” you hum, scrunching your face.
Ran’s face drops. “Oh my- okay fine” he clears his throat. “[name], my long time secret, will you be my girlfriend, and promise to become my wife later on in life?” he asks, lips curving back into a smile.
Another example of what you meant by your obsession.
You smugly smile and bite your lip as a instinct reaction. “I mean…we have been seeing each other for a while now…” you trail off, never meeting his eyes just to spite him.
“So yes, I will go out with you”
Ran didn’t even give you a chance to do anything after answering him, for he launched forward and engulfed you into his arms, rolling along the bed. The laugh you two shared was muffled by the kiss you both leaned into.
Ran was so happy to the point he didn’t let you go for the rest of the night. You two ended up sleeping sideways on the bed, fortunately it was big enough so your feet didn’t dangle off the sides. You didn't even need a blanket, his arms were warm enough.
Looking back you wouldn’t change a thing.
But at the same time you wish you paid more attention to the words and jokes Ran would slip in.
That night you two became official should’ve been the first tip. Ever since then it became obvious by his constant neediness and random times where he would mention it.
You always brushed it off as a common thing a man was interested in when behind the bedroom door. You were always safe anyways—most times. And even when you weren’t properly safe you always had a backup plan, but that was never needed because every test came out negative.
So imagine the thoughts running in your mind as you look down at the stick with two lines in your hand.
You couldn’t help but feel as if you owed this to Ran. All the gifts he gave, the attention he offered, etc. And it’s not like you ever shut down his idea of having a family.
You dropped the test back onto the counter, shaky arms trying to hold yourself up as you slid down the wall behind you.
Three different tests, all of which came back positive.
You were already halfway through college. You weren’t in the proper position to become a mom.
Oh but at the thought of having some part of Ran left behind when he goes on oversea missions brings comfort to your heart. The image of being a young and beautiful mom was also interesting.
Nevertheless, you wanted to complete college first. You didn’t want to end up like your mom and just get your GED just because some guy got you addicted to drugs.
You wanted a better life.
But you didn’t know which was the better life.
“[name]?”
Three knocks came from the bathroom door, making your heart drop.
“Is everything alright? What did it say?”
#ran haitani#ran haitani x reader#bonten ran#oneshot#Fluff#tokyorev x reader#tokyo revengers#anime#tokyo rev x you#romance
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Y'all seem to like Nathan so have more, plus some stuff on his father-daughter relationship with Eko.
Eko’s relationship with Nathan varies across the AUs she’s in. In Hell. Pain Even, Nathan and Indy got together and raised Eko as a family, while in my personal AU, Indy passes away and Nathan takes up raising Eko on his own as his ward-turned-daughter.
Nathan is unusually tall for a Worker Drone, so he was taller than Eko for most of her life. She only started surpassing him once she reached high school, and she hasn’t stopped growing since.
Core Drones were given the AbsoluteSolver program, but it’s not nearly as body horror-y as the Disassembly Drones, and will just put a stop of Eko’s regeneration abilities until she eats enough metal, and Bunker 9′s fairly sheltered environment has allowed her to stockpile repair material for later. Nathan got quite a few scares early on when Eko would fall from a high ledge or cut herself, only for her to bounce back, unscathed and unharmed, and his toolbox would be missing a wrench. He started holding onto pieces of scrap metal for Eko to eat, just in case of an emergency.
Having known Indy for a while, a lot of people assume that Nathan only took Eko in because she reminds him of his long-gone “forbidden” flame. Nathan is quick to shut the gossip hounds with the glare, but the rumors have sadly reached Eko, and used to affect her a lot as a kid thanks to the cruel rumors and mockery from her classmates.
Nathan is the same age as Khan, but just chose to get himself hair and figured that aging like Keanu Reaves wasn’t such a bad idea. He’s a robot, his biological clock is non-existent. He would sooner disassemble himself than put on a mustache.
While intimidating, grouchy and sarcastic, Nathan is quite the heart-throb among the bunker’s unmarried women (and a few men, in secret) due to his looks, but his heart will always belong to Indy and he has no real interest in finding someone new (despite Khan’s well-meaning encouragement). Those women are also mean to Eko, so no dice.
In a previous version, Eko was being raised by the teacher guy, but a scrapped that. However, Nathan is also a teacher at the high school (he teaches mechanics/building), and the only one who can put up with Uzi’s antics without batting an eye, having acted as a pseudo-godfather of sorts before he and Khan had a falling-out following the death of Uzi’s mom. Nathan doesn’t voice it explicitly, but he greatly appreciates that Uzi is willing to be Eko’s friend, and sees a lot of his own relationship with his daughter in the growing bond between the two outcasts.
I don’t have a specific label, but Eko is 100% neurodivergent (yes I am projecting) and had difficulty focusing and studying during her school years, despite getting good marks. Nathan found strategies that worked best with Eko when he tutored her, and uses those when he teaches. His homeroom students, while intimidated by him, openly admit that they learn a lot and find his lessons enriching. Khan suggested putting Eko in the gifted kids program when she was younger. Nathan asked if the rust had finally gotten to his main servers.
Despite his best efforts, Nathan wasn’t able to protect Eko from everything, and the arrival of the Disasembly Drones only made things worse. For this, he is not fond of the company Eko, Uzi and Thad choose to keep, but trusts that N and V are more stuck out there with Eko than Eko’s stuck out there with them (and he is 100% right lmao).
The prom prank has heavily soiled Nathan’s relationship with the bunker, and he mostly just sticks around because he’s the only sharpshooter now that Eko’s started spreading her wings. He has little to no respect for the teens who were responsible or the teachers who turned a blind eye, even though a few of said teens become Eko’s occasional co-workers later on, and one of them starts crushing hard on his ward (this is canon in both AUs; Eko gets a boyfriend named Sam in HPE, and might end up with Sarah, the investigator lady from episode 2, although this is currently just a crackship).
A lot of Eko’s sarcasm and take-no-shit attitude was learned by watching Nathan. He is secretly very proud and internally wipes away a tear of fatherly pride every time she verbally destroys an insufferable co-worker or a know-it-all parent.
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15-21 April 2024
Maybe I am, Costar - what about it?
Got my glasses and contacts in my updated prescription, so I can seeeee - both how beautiful spring is, and have an existential crisis when I see the news alerts on my phone. (It’s just a lot of internal screaming lately. Try not to panic. Do what I can. It’s a nice day. I am alive. I am alive. I am alive. Enjoy what I can, while I can).
Ghost stories class is over (and as a whole, it was...meh). I chickened out on asking out the cute person, mostly because their mother (who also attended the class and seems really cool) was like, right there, and that was not a conversation I wanted to have with an audience, and also while they are really cute and I enjoyed their insights and want to get to know them better, and am glad they have a good relationship with their mom, it does strike me as a little weird? I did not ask them out, but I did get their social handle and we followed each other, so…maybe later?
It was so hot this week, it got up to 91ºF/32ºC. Ugh. Time to break out the iced lavender oat milk latte, probably the gayest thing I could order (and so tasty). But everything is blooming and I keep catching whiffs of flowers and sweetgrass, and of course, summer fruits are coming into season, so I can’t complain too much.
The mother of my childhood best friend (the friend who is now pregnant with twins) sent me a bunch of pictures she found of us as kids, from about 3-6 years old: on our kids bowling league team, playing soccer, swimming in an inflatable pool, playing dress-up, laughing at a church gathering. It’s so weird to look back on these pictures and realize I have very few actual memories of these events, and to think about how different I turned out as an adult compared to what was clearly expected of me. It is funny seeing how much the same some things are, though - I still hate being hugged by strangers for pictures. And Jess and I are still best friends.
Trivia night, last one at this brewery for a while. Old Slavic man at the bar was openly staring and I thought he was going to comment on my hair but he told me “oh, you’re such a beautiful girl, you don’t need to drink to get attention!” Which. I don’t follow that logic, but okay. Good thing that’s not why I drink, and I told him so. Of course he couldn’t leave it at that. He followed me from the bar to my seat to tell me his life's story (divorced, of course), that he’s a Buddhist (good for you) and to call him if I ever need help (???). Wanted to give me his number and I told him nah, don’t bother, I won’t use it. “Oh, you’re not lesbian are you?” Uh. I don’t know if I’m safe to answer that question. Would that actually deter him, or just make him try harder? Or get violent? He finally left. But why. Why are men like this. What is it about me that looks like I welcome these weird interactions??? How do I disable it???
And then guy doctor friend cornered me after trivia to ask “is there something between us?” Nononono I cannot keep having these conversations. We are just bros. (He said that it was mutual, thankfully, but it was a weird conversation to have.) Honestly, I don’t know how people look at me and see a straight woman. I don’t know how to look gayer without plastering myself in rainbows, which…is not really my style. But in what world is this not the look of a raging dyke??
I don’t mind the attention from women, obviously. I took myself to lunch and another solo woman seated in a booth near me shouted “I like your earrings! And your hair! And your glasses! You’re just so pretty!” (which, thanks, most of those are things I have control over so you're complimenting my mind/taste/choices and therefore I enjoy that comment) and I got to compliment her on her gorgeous colorful sundress in return! And the server was so sweet (more “darlin’” and “honey”) and wished me an “absolutely beautiful” day. (The whole interaction really drove home the thing that "Americans can be stupid friendly, but especially those in the South" like. Yeah. That stereotype is true). but anyway, I love women.
Found out the local university does free planetarium shows on alternating Sunday afternoons! I’ll definitely have to go check those out, I haven’t been to a planetarium in way too long and could use another thing to be more curious about.
It’s so nice to have a relaxed weekend between trips. Saturday I got to sleep in, then met up with a friend first thing at a local farm to pick strawberries and catch up on gossip. Took myself out to brunch at my favorite coffee shop, then washed the strawberries and prepped them for storage. Ate way too many of them already, whoops (but they’re SO sweet and juicy and delicious; there’s nothing as tasty as sun-warmed, in-season, just-picked-it-myself fruit). Did some house work and lazed around with the cat. Dad’s back from Germany, and it’s frankly a little insulting to see how affectionate Butterball is with him, following him around the house like a puppy and chirping at him. Butterball may be my cat, but dad works from home and is clearly Butterball’s person. Hmph.
Today has also been gloriously relaxed, another late morning. Did laundry. Made french toast with brioche from the farmers’ market and topped with yesterday’s strawberries. I don’t normally like sweet things for breakfast, but it was delicious. Crocheted a bit - I had to frog the sweater and start over because I realized I was somehow two stitches short on the row. Now I’ve made it one stitch too long. (How?? asdfghjk) But since it’s for a sweater that I’ll have to layer (big open stitches), and it’s cotton, I’d rather it be a little bit big to account for shrinking (and also I don’t want to start it over AGAIN) so. One stitch too wide it is, then.
I’ll be in Charleston next weekend for work, so I’m going to relish in this slow weekend. Try to read (I finally got a copy of The Traitor Baru Cormorant from my library and need to just. Dive in and get into it. Come on, brain, work with me here). Work on the crochet projects I’ve been neglecting. Actually fold my laundry the same day I take it out of the dryer instead of letting it wrinkle in the hamper overnight (ha! ambitious). Write a newsletter and schedule some social media posts for work. Play a game of scrabble with mum. Try not to doomscroll.
Well. Onward.
last week
#what did i even really do this week#just overthink everything tbh#two days is not enough weekend. i need at least a day for fun. a day for personal admin stuff. and a day to just rot in bed#so every weekend i have to just pick two of those things and try to squeeze the rest in the other day or throughout the week#anyway#chugging along (how is april almost gone already WHAT)#catalog of little joys
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Banana sweater
This pattern was shared on the old server. So, because it still takes forever until I'm finished with the next part of "Life continues after the adventure" but I also joked that since Laura is learning to knit in that stories her making this to prank Travis would be a cute little fic. For Christmas. As a present?
I'll probably upload it at a later time to Ao3 but only after I finished the next piece and I probably reworked it a bit. xD
Rating: M - for lots of sexual innuendo
Relationship: Travis Hackett/Laura Kearney
Tags: humor, sexual innuendo, a little bit of angst, they want each other but for some reason can't do anything about it, the reason is me, I'm the asshole in control, older man/younger woman, slowburn, mutual attraction, original characters, fluff, of course there is fluff, Travis has a big dick, Lauras pov, food, eating,
Wordcount: 1958
Not Beta read! Sorry for any mistakes! I have no idea what I'm doing!
It probably helps to know the the other stories but I think this is fine alone too.
Laura is in North Kill for a year now and is the assistant of the local vet but will soon finish her studies. She is part of a small crafts-circle that the old women of North Kill use to chat and have some fun. The town is mostly filled with old people, young one leaving the town as soon as possible.
After Laura's return she and Travis became friends and their relationship moved so far that they often share their evenings, falling asleep together on the couch in Lauras apartment. But nothing happened between them yet.
All Hacketts except Bobby are dead, all counsellors survived in this timeline.
Finally the story after the read more!
---
"Hey, Ladies! Look at this!" Mrs. Gauthier came into the city community center, just as Laura was helping Mrs. Waldmann preparing another pot of coffee in the little corner kitchen.
Mrs. Gautier put down a couple of printed pages. Laura couldn‘t see much but that it was a knitting pattern and taking in the reactions of some of the women it was probably something perverted. Laura hurried with her task and then walked over to see what some of them were laughing about while others shook their heads.
It was called a banana-sweater but it could be obviously used for something else too. Laura laughed. It was actually quite cute with the little button.
"What do you think, Laura?" Mrs. Gauthier was still smirking as Mrs. Waldmann walked up to the group too.
"Bananas have it all. Hammocks in summer, little sweaters in winter…" Laura shrugged and Mrs. Gauthier laughed about that little joke. She then collected the papers again.
"My granddaughter sent it to me, asked me to make a few for a bachelorette party. Her best friend is getting married."
"That is so nice!"
Laura returned into the kitchen corner to get the coffee and also to avoid any possible upcoming questions about when she was going to get married.
Sometimes it felt like she had adopted a bunch of grandmas when she joined this crafts circle.
Nonetheless…
When Laura returned to the table the women had already arranged some of the treats and helped themselves to some of the drinks.
"Mrs. Gauthier, is it okay if I sit beside you and also try this pattern?"
"Of course!"
"What do you need this pattern for?" Mrs. Miller asked her question showing how much she liked to gossip.
"I have a friend I want to prank next time I see them," Laura smiled thinking about it.
"A small friend that is keeping you company on lonely nights?" It was Mrs. Collier asking that question with a smirk. Her friend Mrs Miller laughed along.
Laura smiled and shook her head and then winked.
"No, I mean a real human friend. Surprisingly I have them."
Not that Laura would ever admit that she also had a "little friend" that she maybe or maybe not had gotten at the store last time when she was with her mom for Thanksgiving. Not like she could get one in North Kill or order one.
People would know. And she needed one. Fingers were nice and all but recently… that little friend wasn’t small.
Laura got to work. She had a banana to dress.
—
"Laura, why does this banana have a little…"
Laura glanced out of the kitchen to see Travis stare at the fruit bowl that was standing on the living room table. His expression was exactly what she had hoped for.
Utter confusion.
"It’s a sweater!" Laura managed to sound chipper and didn’t laugh at his questioning glance towards her and returned to the kitchen, keeping an eye on the scrambled eggs. "I made it at the crafts meeting!"
Laura had to shout a little to make sure that Travis would hear her.
"Uh huh…"
"Little sweater before I start with a big one for you!"
"A sweater… for a banana?"
"Yeah!"
Laura could hear Travis step up into the doorway to the kitchen: "And since when did you put fruits on the table?"
She turned towards him, with her best innocent smile in place.
"The other women told me that I should eat more fruits and who am I to not listen to the council of the wise ladies of North Kill?"
"Two oranges and one banana with a sweater?" Laura had to turn back to the stove in an attempt to hide her smile.
"There is also a pear and two apples under those…"
Travis walked out again but not without answering. "Sure. You stick to that story, ma’am."
Taking a deep breath to not either start shouting or laughing, Laura turned off the stove and grabbed two plates and put some bread into the toaster. He was right of course. The placement was very deliberate. She wanted to prank him. Cause a reaction. And she had gotten one. Maybe there was more?
While waiting for the bread Laura got the ketchup and two bottles of beer from the fridge.
It gave her the chance to look out and see Travis glaring at the offending fruit bowl. Finally he reached for the banana and apparently compared it to his hand. There was a small snort and a calm "it’s smaller" and Laura hid away before he could see her sneaking glances.
What was that about? He couldn’t mean…
Suddenly the toaster finished heating up the bread, causing Laura to yelp.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah! I‘ll be out with you any moment."
Taking a deep breath, she put everything on a tablet and walked to the couch and put it down on the table while Travis moved the fruit bowl to her desk.
Finally they sat down, Laura started one of the many Christmas movies.
"When you start with that sweater for me please make sure that it is big enough. I would hate not to be able to wear it because of my size," he grabbed his plate.
Laura halted in her reach towards the ketchup bottle, glancing towards Travis who looked way too nonchalant. He returned her look with a perfectly neutral face and nodded toward her plate. "Aren’t you hungry?"
What the fuck? This was not how it was supposed to be! He was not supposed to be the one teasing her!
"Of course I would take your measurements before I start with such a big project!" She added ketchup to her toast and bit into it.
He snorted at that and also continued with his meal and drink.
Great! Now what?!
She had known that Travis was big! You can wake up with a dick poking you only so many times before you start to guess the size.
But if he really was bigger than that stupid banana… the fruit was bigger than her toy!
God!
How the fuck was she supposed to look at him and not think about his dick?! It had already been a struggle before. She was way too aware of her attraction. Well, she would just have to deal with it…
She glanced over to him as he was slowly eating his toast now ignoring her and way too focused on the movie.
Damn him!
She would get back at him. Eating and listening to the movie with only half an ear she glanced over to the fruits and then had an idea.
After they finished Laura decided to also take everything back into the kitchen and then came back with a can of whipped cream and chocolate sauce. She then walked back to her desk.
"Do you want some fruit?"
"No, thanks."
Laura grabbed the banana and sat down with her loot, slowly undressing the fruit and then opening it up.
She then cuddled up to Travis who she could see from the corner of her eye, watching her with some curious attention. She had to move away from him again to grab the cream to add it to the tip of the banana and added some of the chocolate just to make it not as obvious. For the same reason she decided against basically deepthroating it. Also she actually wanted to enjoy the treat.
And that she did, bit into the fruit and actually the only thing missing was some ice cream but she would have to get up for that again and laziness finally won. A joke should only go so far. But it was delicious and it had been some time since she had eaten a treat like that and so she let out a low moan.
Laura realized that she couldn’t see any reaction Travis might have had right now but that wasn’t even the most important part right now. Still, a little bit more teasing would be fun. So, she turned to him and caught his eyes rushing from her to the screen and a slight blush on his cheeks and ears.
"Want a bite?"
"No…," his voice was hoarse and he had to clear his throat. "No, thank you."
With a smile and being sure she won this round Laura cuddled back into Travis side, both cream and sauce between them and she continued to eat her dessert, adding mostly whipped cream and moaning from time to time.
"You know fruit is not very healthy when you add that stuff," Travis glanced down at her just as she was licking some cream off the fruit and then biting a piece off again. She could hear him inhale.
"You know I know that but also that I don’t care. Last chance to get a piece!" Laura got out the last piece of the fruit and threw the peel on the table and added cream and chocolate to then hold it up to Travis, not expecting him to actually eat it.
But he did. And before she knew what happened he moved forward and for a short moment her fingers were in his mouth and there was a short suck and lick on her thumb. And… fuck! What the fuck?! No fucking way.
"Yeah, it's good. I’ll take one next time too."
Now it was on Laura to exhale the breath she hadn’t known she had held. There was only one way to react to this: angry laughter.
"Eww!" Laura laughed and wiped off her hand on Travis shirt, doing her best to ignore how his chest felt and not remembering the times she saw him without shirt. "You’re disgusting!"
"You keep forgetting that I’m a big brother and an uncle! I basically helped to raise four children."
There was a short and awkward silence, the movie completely forgotten by now. Laura put the cream and sauce back on the table to then return to Travis side and cuddle into him, trying to be as close as possible and mumbling a "I’m sorry" into his chest.
He laid both his arms around her, pulled her closer and planted a little kiss on the top of Laura's head. She really liked that feeling. Would have been nicer under different circumstances.
"No, I’m sorry. I should not have said that."
"I fear it will always be between us in the end…"
He hummed in agreement but kissed her again. A way to say it was fine, that it was the past but it would still always be there. Only one of the four was still around.
Laura sighed and turned her head to the screen, getting into an even more comfortable position.
"Well, today I learned that I won’t win in a prank war against you."
"That is smart of you to figure out."
"Because I am smart."
"Yes, you are."
They stayed silent for a few moments and glancing around Laura saw the banana sweater lying nearby and grabbed it to hold it up to Travis.
"Just so you know, it is one size fits all. Or most… bananas that is."
Again there was a neutral look, and raised eyebrows. He took the little knitted piece and pulled it over three of his fingers and stretched them as a test.
Finally he glanced down at her: "Most."
"Oh, shut up!" She grabbed the piece and threw it on the floor, feeling laughter vibrate through his chest. "I’ll knit a banana pattern into your sweater!"
"Whatever it turns out to look like, I’ll wear it. As long as it’s not too small."
Laura smiled at that, finally looking at the screen and relaxing further and enjoying the evening.
#hackearney#fanfiction#merry christmas#or merry what you do or not celebrate#have a nice weekend#pressure will make me do stuff#it's not good#but good enough#writing
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Remember when I first made a tumblr I planned to make, like, weekly song analyses and why/how I think they fit characters? Anyway here’s my second analysis
c!Quackity and “Pierre” from Natasha, Pierre & the Great Comet of 1812
I used to be better
I used to be better
I used to be better
This one is pretty on the nose. C!Quackity probably looks back at who he used to be, and what he used to have, and sees his past self as a more naive but happier person. He also hadn’t done as many morally grey things as he has now, and c!Quackity also likely blames himself for a lot of things that have happened, like c!Slime’s death. Over all, he sees his past self as better, even if he probably wouldn’t want to become him again.
Oh, Pierre
Our merry feasting crank
Our most dear, most kind
Most smart and eccentric
A warm-hearted Russian of the old-school
His purse is always empty
Because it's open to all
Oh Pierre
Just one of a hundred sad old men
Living out their final days in Moscow
This line isn’t from Pierre, but rather the people of Moscow singing about him, so I suppose it could be read more like the people of Las Nevadas singing about c!Quackity.
c!Quackity cares about Las Nevadas and the people who work there a lot. Even if it isn’t always obvious, we can see that he wants his country to be protected. He has become colder over time but he is still a very eccentric person still, especially in public or with strangers when he has to keep up appearances. He also is very kind to those he cares greatly for.
The purse line could more be interpreted for his heart. Out of every character, c!Quackity has had the most romantic entanglements. Even if we go outside of romantic, there are very deep relationships that he’s had that were just as important. Regardless, he loves and he loses. In a sense, his heart is always empty because he people he gives it don’t tend keep it, whether it be their fault or not.
And the women, they all pity me
Because I'm married
But not in love
Frozen at the center
This is true for basically any era of c!Quackity.
Manberg c!Quackity? Engaged to c!Schlatt, who left him at the alter and abused him.
Las Nevadas c!Quackity? Karl has forgotten everything about him and Sapnap is stuck between the two of them fighting and c!Quackity feels like he’s lost them.
New L’Manberg c!Quackity? Actually I think he’s an exception but he did focus a lot of his energy on the butcher army and the country.
There's a ringing my head
There's a sickness in the world
And everyone knows
But pretends that they don't see
Oh, I'll sort it out later
But later never comes
And how many men before
Good Russian men
Believing in goodness and truth
Entered that door
With all their teeth and hair
And left it toothless and bald?
While he has been a major player throughout the server, c!Quackity has also been a witness to many other people’s suffering. He has seen nearly everyone, most notably c!Wilbur, lose themselves over the server.
He doesn’t see c!Wilbur as a proud, good man anymore, rather a shadow of who he used to be. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t respect him but post-HO16, c!Quackity likely thinks a lot less of him.
You empty and stupid
Contented fellows
Satisfied with your place
I'm different from you
I'm different from you
I still want to do something
c!Quackity sees a lot of people as being stuck doing the few things they do instead of having desires and goals. He brought together Las Nevadas because he had a goal and he wanted prove himself.
Or do you struggle too?
I pity you
I pity me
I pity you
But c!Quackity doesn’t think that he’s better than the other people in Las Nevadas because he understands that they too have been through a lot. In the end, he struggles and so does everyone else.
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LIGHT OF LIFE 461
John 1:4
DIVINE ORDER 26: BEGINNING OF MARRIAGE 4
Eph 5:25 And to the HUSBANDS, YOU ARE TO DEMONSTRATE LOVE FOR YOUR WIVES WITH THE SAME TENDER DEVOTION THAT CHRIST DEMONSTRATED TO US, HIS BRIDE. For HE DIED FOR US, SACRIFICING HIMSELF TPT
THE MAN AND HIS WIFE
Now, let’s talk to our Husbands about why the Woman was made weaker than the Man.
It definitely cannot have implications for the Woman’s compliance only, don’t you think?
Rom 15:1 But WE WHO ARE STRONG OUGHT TO BEAR WITH THE FAILINGS OF THE WEAK, and not just please ourselves. NET
In any [human] Relationship where you have differences in capacities, it is mostly intended [by God] to foster Mutual dependence for objectives which yet fulfill the central purpose of the relationship.
The wife is weaker so that she may submit to the man’s directions without tussle.
The man is stronger so that he may watch over and protect her all the way.
Got it?
1Pe 3:7 In the same way YOU HUSBANDS MUST LIVE WITH YOUR WIVES WITH THE PROPER UNDERSTANDING THAT THEY ARE MORE DELICATE THAN YOU. Treat them with respect, because they also will receive, together with you, God's gift of life. Do this so that nothing will interfere with your prayers. GNB
Peter was talking to married people here but I believe we can start training our boys and Girls how to appreciate and appropriate the differences between them.
Most times, we could see a young boy get very close to his mother and girls close to their fathers.
It must be for the [main] purpose of their beginning to learn to manage marital relationships.
Gen 24:67 ISAAC TOOK HER INTO HIS MOTHER SARAH'S TENT. He married Rebekah. She became his wife, and he loved her. SO ISAAC WAS COMFORTED AFTER HIS MOTHER'S DEATH. GW
It’s obvious that apart from sexual intercourse, Isaac’s Mother, Sarah, made him feel the warmth of having a woman in one’s life and by one’s side.
Rebeccah seemed to “fill” the space and continue that role, this time with all the benefits and responsibilities included.
Mat 23:37 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, putting to death the prophets, and stoning those who are sent to her! AGAIN AND AGAIN WOULD I HAVE TAKEN YOUR CHILDREN TO MYSELF AS A BIRD TAKES HER YOUNG ONES UNDER HER WINGS, and you would not! BBE
Have you ever seen Documentaries of she-bears protecting her young?
The good thing about starting this training with young boys is that part of the Role - Protection - he is to play in his wife’s life is what he watches his mother play in his.
He learns easily by submitting himself to his Mother, just as his wife will submit to him later.
Very neat, abi?
Luk 2:51 And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, AND WAS SUBJECT UNTO THEM: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart. KJV
It would have been interesting though, if our Lord Jesus had married while on earth, but I know He couldn’t.
We would have learned a few things about wedlock.
Even so, I got a few things from reading about how Jesus related with His mother, Mary.
Joh 2:3-4 When the wine ran out, JESUS’ MOTHER SAID TO HIM, “THEY HAVE NO WINE LEFT.” Jesus replied, “Woman, why are you saying this to me? MY TIME HAS NOT YET COME.” NET
This was going to be His 1st Miracle but somehow, His mother knew He had the Power. How Mary knew is not recorded but many of us should know women with their intuition.
Joh 2:5 Mary then went to the servers and told them, “Whatever Jesus tells you, make sure that you do it!” TPT
Jesus understood how persistent women can be and went ahead and honoured her still. We all see how Tender Jesus was with all the women He came across, right?
Joh 8:10-11 He straightened up and said to her, "Where are they? Is there no one left to condemn you?" "No one, sir," she answered. "Well, then," Jesus said, "I do not condemn you either. Go, but do not sin again."] GNB
In a world where the strong prey on the weak, we have societal norms that places women as principally culpable for infidelity and puts her at the receiving end, even when men are the culprit.
Be sure that God judges things only based on His Standard Divine Contexts.
May our Marriages “be” exactly what God intended it to be, IN JESUS NAME.
Come back on Wednesday, as we proceed in digging into this inspiring Subtopic.
Brother Prince
Monday, January 22, 2023
08055125517; 08023904307
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Answers about Teen Dating
Living and enjoying life is good but with Free Dating website you can make knot with others in long relation is very precious for us. When Dua is enjoying her downtime from being the disco queen who saved 2020, she is living a seriously wholesome life with her 'love' Anwar. But by the time the leaves began to change, so did their love for each other. 12Additional ways to interact with one’s feed were added in 2018, but were not available when I began working on Yarns. Having done so, I found that at the moment I was working on a particular component’s code, the rest of the system was presented as an infrastructure operating invisibly in the background (Star 1999). Thus, where it was still possible to access other parts of the system, modular architecture constituted a technical tie (Damarin 2013) that shaped my work practice. Further, working through bugs between clients and servers required coordination and agreement among developers. Thus while anyone can edit IndieWeb’s wiki, in practice this is limited to people who have a personal website and have configured it to support this feature, which demonstrates at least some agreement with IndieWeb’s approach.
Have fun-specify that these values are defined by individuals controlling what data they put online. This chapter describes the structure of IndieWeb’s online community by reporting results from analyzing archives of logged data. 22JSON is a common data format for representing complex data objects as a string of text, which makes them easy to transmit and store. 23In JSON a string is a sequence of characters, such as text. It is a qualitative way of describing the sequence of events. I attended a few events that Priscilla held and met a couple of women. נערות ליווי בתל אביב We’ve all heard horror stories about men scamming women on dating sites. On the other hand, coordination across IndieWeb sites requires some degree of conformity. This is illustrated by a long history of efforts to build IndieWeb feed readers with autonomy as a driving value. In brief, designs devoted to privacy are unlikely to emerge from a development style in which individuals build whatever solution works for them and then figure out consensus after the fact. Second, the client/server division of this spec increases the feasibility for individuals to build their own reader software, or at least part of it. 10, respectively), with interoperability to be figured out after individuals have been free to develop a variety of approaches.
The latter section of the chapter has recounted a personal narrative of building for the IndieWeb, highlighting how interoperability with other IndieWeb projects, standards, and collaborating with community members shaped my processes of building. 5Webmentions are an IndieWeb protocol for exchanging messages between sites. The friendly chat rooms are open so that you can discuss whatever topics you feel like. 5. You don’t have to browse and chat with hundreds of people to find someone for you. The following discussion will show why this is so, treating in some detail the analytic and geologic problems that have to be overcome if precise ages are to be determined. So, in case you need a reminder of what brings us here, buckle up and let’s go back to the start. You need a site that can provide private posts with that protocol, which is one or two pieces of software. One of the reasons private posts have been such a challenge is that they require a level of coordination that is difficult to achieve with an individual and iterative development style. I also have a better relationship with myself than I’ve ever had before. Zavala, who lives in Washington, D.C., notes that the bots have gotten better over time.
I have identified how overarching commitments to autonomy and self-empowerment are articulated in IndieWeb’s principles for building, and discussed how technical standards and IndieWeb’s building block approach act as technical ties through which individuals’ activities are structured to contribute to IndieWeb’s broader infrastructure. To accomplish this, IndieWeb’s approach generally prefers simple, modular standards based on observed practice, only resorting to top-down standards where previous efforts have been unsuccessful. Is it just me or is it weird to imply that a potential future relationship should have a hierarchical power dynamic? By reflecting on my own processes of building IndieWeb software, I have identified limits of individual autonomy and plurality, which has highlighted that even in individually-focused acts of building IndieWeb software, communal values and structures are profoundly important. Nonetheless there is evidence that projects on GitHub are generally carried out by individuals, indicating that processes of building IndieWeb software are largely decentralized across an assortment of personal projects. Those questions will be addressed in Chapter 5, which presents a structural overview of the community through its logged discussions and GitHub activity, and in Chapter 6, which investigates factors contributing to influence and exclusion.
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🌦 « jamie clayton. trans woman. she/her. 42. » was that NORA WILLIAMS walking through the doors of amorelux ? i heard they just moved in to apartment 605 from TORONTO, ON and work as a journalist. they seem empathetic & knowledgable but don’t get on their bad side ! they can be moody & reclusive which makes sense since they’re a VIRGO. you know they’re home when you see a flash of thin wool socks tucked into low heels, sweetened green tea long since gone cold, piles of well-thumbed books on every surface, patchouli and vanilla rubbed onto a pulse-point. ↷ soren. 26. est. he/they. ; @amoreluxintro
cw ; transphobia, addiction, car accident mention.
background.
born and raised in the dufferin grove neighbourhood of toronto, ontario.
her parents were catholic, not staunchly so but enough that when she attempted to come out to them, to explain to them how she’d been feeling, it didn’t go well.
it was 1995, and she was fifteen. she packed her backpack and went to her friend leah’s house, where she stayed until graduation, when her and leah moved into their own apartment nearer to the york university campus.
when she changed her name, she took leah’s last name; she’d been more family to her than her own family had ever been. leah was and has been like a sister to her, and they consider each other as such. it only felt right to make that official.
at university she studied philosophy, with a minor in women’s studies. after graduation she worked a number of minimum wage jobs ( barista, blockbuster employee, server ) until she decided to bite the bullet and go back to university.
she finished her masters degree and decided to go all the way, set her sights on a ph.d, and then almost as soon as she started she began to struggle from the stress of it all. mostly, she wanted out of academia, wanted real conversations.
so she branched out, started writing for leah’s zine and sending out smaller pieces to various outlets. shockingly, one of the pieces she sent in was accepted; her first real published work was printed in the walrus in december of 2006.
somehow, it kept working. she mostly wrote freelance until in 2011 she was hired onto the team of this hour has 22 minutes, a job that she credits with giving her much better writing skills overall.
she took on more and more freelance jobs and eventually left 22 minutes to persue them.
in 2018 she began hosting a biweekly ( every other friday ) podcast called ’anpolitical’ that is a current events show with a left-wing / socialist viewpoint. think somewhere between last week tonight and contrapoints. she often has relevant guests on.
when leah moved to seattle, she followed, partially to be closer but also to branch out into further business and writing opportunities she’d been looking into over the last few years.
headcanons.
she is slightly closer with her parents these days, though she really only talks to them or calls them on holidays
she’s bisexual, though she haven’t dated for a while. her last relationship ended badly ( they worked together and it was something of a disaster ), and she’s had trouble getting back into the dating scene.
nora has a deep love of trash art, think: myra breckinridge, john waters, ed wood, russ meyer.
in terms of music her tastes haven’t changed much since what she was into as a teenager, lots of sloan, slowdive, nirvana, eric’s trip, hole, veruca salt, etc.
she’s been a vegetarian on and off most of her adult life. these days she’s probably 90% vegetarian, but will eat eggs, and meat if it’s served to her, usually if someone else cooks for her, that sort of thing.
one of her hobbies is digital archival, and she has a whole set-up for ripping vhs tapes. as such her collection of dvds and vhs tapes is extensive, encompassing both the obvious and the obscure.
she’s been sober since her thirtieth birthday, something she’s quite proud of. she struggled with substance abuse in her teens and twenties, which she credits as having helped shape her but doesn’t want to return to, for obvious reasons.
her and leah were in a very bad car accident a few years ago when a drunk driver t-boned them, that left nora with a long scar across her back and shoulder and leah with a number of smaller scars. they have both recovered, but nora doesn’t drive anymore, and has let her license lapse. she uses her passport or OHIP card as ID if it’s needed.
connections.
coworkers — i know as a freelancer it’s less likely, but perhaps: people she interviews for stories, people she’s met through work, connections of connections. people she knows professionally and wants to get to know better.
blind dates — i love the idea of her ending up on a blind date with someone and then them ending up back at the same apartment building. she’s definitely the type who wouldn’t really have taken note of her neighbours. she’s a bit in her own head that way.
more to come !
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*hands you an AU dump to hoard like a little goblin handing a small coin to a dragon*
OKAY so basically: after the doctor's visit where Izuku learns he's quirkless (I hc that they went when he was about five n' a half), Inko does a little bit of research on quirks and more specifically on her son's notebooks, learns that he's even more brilliant at quirk analysis than she originally suspected, and (after looking at some not great quirkless statistics) she instead informs Izuku that no, he's had a quirk all along! It's an analysis quirk!
So she updates the quirk registry, and Izuku goes through his life believing he has an analysis quirk, albeit teased for being a late bloomer, but he still can't shake the insecurity being quirkless for that one and a half year gave him.
He does research on all sorts of things, hacking, knife throwing, first aid, and building his own support gear and takes to all of it like a duck to water. He also does research on UA's policy for support gear in the entrance exam (cause surely they've gotta have a policy for non-offensive quirks like Koda and Hagakure) and finds that he can take one with him if he builds it himself. He goes fuckin bonkers.
Anyways: he trains with Katsuki, cause they're relationship is pretty good since Izuku has a 'quirk.' They both demolish the entrance exam. (Also Izuku kinda swears a lot because Katsuki rubs off on him)
Aizawa doesn't notice a goddamn thing is amiss until the battle trials on the second day (he decides to shadow All Might that day), where when he was using his quirk to silence his students while Izuku was rambling, he just didn't stop, as if he didn't notice anything was wrong. It happens again during the USJ.
So at some point during the sports festival, Nedzu (who is now intrigued because of Aizawa's complaining) invites Izuku into his office during a free period and lets him go ham on analysis, all while Aizawa is secretly there erasing Izuku's 'quirk.' Nedzu invites Izuku to be his personal student (making Aizawa go grey), he says yes, and then Nedzu drops the absolute BOMBSHELL that Izuku is actually quirkless. Cue an existential crisis.
(Also Izuku gets captured at the training camp alongside Katsuki because of his "analysis quirk," wonder how well that goes for him~)
- Goblin anon (sorry this one was kinda long)
GOBLIN?? DUDE???? HOLY SHIT I KNEW YOUR AUS ARE ALWAYS PHENOMENAL BUT THIS RIGHT HERE??? D U D E
i misunderstood the prompt a bit but i genuinely don’t know how to backtrack, so here you go goblin. sorry again o(TヘTo)
ok first of, inko taking on a stronger stance to support her son? love that of her. like, she doesn’t say sorry when izuku turned to look at her and cried that he can’t be like all might. instead, she took him in her arms and assures him that he will be a great hero. at first, of course half of it is lip service because she doesn’t know how to help her quirkless boy be a hero, since, you know, heroes need quirks.. (or do they)
and then she comes across a quirkless self help group which rang many many warning bells in her head. what kind of life do quirkless people live when a google research of them resulted in subsequent pages of results like how to stay safe when quirkless, or how to find jobs when quirkless, or quirkless mortality rates?
she fears for izuku, until she notices that her son’s smart. too smart for his age, but inko thought she’s just being biased. but izuku’s wit is something many people notice, for an instance, when izuku goes to the park to play and his friends’ (the few ones who stayed) parents tell her that her son’s smart for a quirkless person, she realizes that izuku’s wit is far more vast than normal.
then a thought worms into her head but wouldn’t it be bad to lie…but also, no one would be any the wiser.
further pushed by all the statistics she keeps seeing, or the lack thereof, about quirkless people, she makes the decision and pours it to izuku.
izuku who’s far smarter than his age and understood what his mom is asking from him. izuku who already saw the disparities between quirked and quirkless people at the tender age of five. izuku who knows what it means to lie about something as personal as a quirk, but realizes that it’s necessary for him to do so if he wants to live a “normal” life.
so he agrees; he tells inko that he’ll work even harder to sharpen his mind, and to keep expanding his knowledge.
when izuku’s quirk file is officially updated, he watches how his peers and teachers revert back into treating him as izuku. he regains his old friends, but he chose to drop them because he doesn’t want to surround himself with people who thought he was less for being quirkless.
katsuki stayed, surprisingly. katsuki stayed and everyday he kept bothering izuku to “get your quirk already!” katsuki stayed because he can’t fathom that the smartest boy in their class (of course not as smart as him, psshh) is quirkless. deku couldn’t be quirkless. (but if he found out that izuku, indeed, is, i wonder what would happen…)
katsuki was one of the loudest to celebrate when izuku announced that his quirk arrived.
“finally!” he screams and bothers izuku about the semantics of his quirk. he really wasn’t surprised to find out that izuku has an analysis quirk because he thought that nothing else would better be suited for izuku.
he doesn’t know that izuku pours so much of his time into learning and studying, often bypassing basics and intros to take more of the developed courses that are usually recommended for older ages. he doesn’t know that izuku is just a naturally smart kid with the ability to fill the gaps of his young mind with knowledge upon knowledge, storing and stacking them until he feels that he’s laid a sturdy foundation for his fake quirk.
then izuku began threading into different areas. he learns how to get into cyberspaces; hacking into accounts and delving more into how to access private information. he doesn’t thread too close lest he gets caught, but he learns the logistics of maneuvering around the web and burrowing in empty spaces to branch out his own. he creates and designs web algorithms for himself, just so he doesn’t trigger anyone who is looking into the web movements. he hones this and uses it to access more information.
then when he deems it enough, he turns his attention to something more tangible and something more physical. he learns other ways to be a hero; how to fight without a physical quirk, how to win against bigger opponents, how to use analysis quirk in fights.
izuku becomes more than a fake analysis quirk user; he creates it.
mental quirks are hard to describe, more so to compress, thus he creates new definitions of an analysis quirk. what used to be a silly lie is now a tangible fact that izuku believes in. because what makes a quirk? because what makes analysis a quirk? he learns these semantics (often political) and uses it to his advantage.
then he finally threads to hero analysis. at first it were classmates he analyzed; eyes running quickly at their forms and watching with great interest before calculating everything he’s seen and transversing it with the things he learned, and bridges these two facts together to create an analysis. it was a struggle at first: he didn’t know which to put emphasis on until he realizes, he doesn’t need to. he weaves them together and lets his analysis run long and watches how his hobby comes into fruition.
following his classmates are current heroes. these were more tough and more fun, and any of the information is less shared. he doesn’t tell his classmates or teachers about his analyses, only katsuki. and katsuki’s breath hitch every damn time at izuku’s talent quirk.
it is in their second year of middle school that midoriya begins to incorporate the facts with himself to create physical performances. the issues and things he learned through observing are now practiced by himself. he calculates the best way to fight with a body as petite as his, often taking examples from pro-hero hawks and other women heroes. their agilities and physicality suit izuku’s young body; he doesn’t see the merit in punching his way through things when he physically cannot.
so he learns ways to ease his muscles. he learns ballet and gymnastics; lets his muscles contort and mend themselves anew. he finds his balance and roots himself firmly, and learns to calculate his actions so he doesn’t waste his energy. katsuki doesn’t say anything, but he sees izuku’s dance and falls in love.
then in the spring of their third year of middle school, izuku learns how to build and handle weapons.
this is the easiest. izuku learns that weapons aren’t tools, but extensions of his arms and hands. they are not to be revered and not to be depended on because they can fail. instead, he learns to wield weapons as though they are parts of his bodies. he learns how to use swords and often narrowing to wooden sticks that can be picked up anywhere; he learns how to fire guns and how to hide daggers in his uniform. he learns that his body is the best weapon to use and that tools are just arsenal to help him win.
then he learns how to build them.
by summer, izuku begins reaching into UA’s servers. they are hard codes to crack, but not impossible. it takes him five days to access old entrance exam videos. the next day, the videos are snuffed and he is left to try digging deeper into UA.
he fails.
nezu must have caught onto his codes and proceeded to build walls against it.
so he slithers out. but a five minute video of last year’s entrance exam is enough for izuku because he learns two things: one, heroes must defeat villains and two, heroes must save others.
izuku prepares for this. unknowingly, katsuki is taught these same principles. katsuki would grumble and tell him that he knows what heroes must do, but izuku continues to hammer it down to him.
by the time of the UA entrance exam, izuku falls into the ease of having a fake quirk. he passes the written exam with flying colours and although it took three teachers to approve his support gears (present mic had to pull in powerloader, midnight, and hound dog to ensure that the well designed support gears are made by the hero student examinee and not by a support student examinee. majima saw the works and begged nezu to allow izuku to be his student.), izuku still succeeds and dominates the entrance exam.
when the zero pointer was released, he had flung himself towards the girl crushed by debris and yanks her out. he doesn’t waste a modified grenade to explode the zero pointer because through his calculations, doing so would not only create more collateral damage, but would also endanger the examinee in his arms because she still would be caught in the crossfire.
nezu hums in appreciation from the screening room, after all, smart minds always do think alike.
izuku gets a whopping 92 in the physical aspects of the entrance exam.
katsuki gets 85.
aizawa gleefully takes them in.
izuku thinks that no one will ever know of his and inko’s secret, but one look at nezu’s beady eyes and he knew that the stoat knew. it became a game to them, then. a game to see who else would realize.
and while izuku is smart, he doesn’t realize that nezu has basically taken him as his personal student the moment he and izuku had created a bet.
it takes two months for aizawa to figure things out. surprisingly, he is the only one to do so and he only realizes due to the many untimely attacks of LoV.
——
how angst would it be if katsuki realizes that izuku’s always been quirkless during their captivity in the LoV’s hideout.
#goblin anon#my BELOVED#ask#this ones such a damn good au#bamf midoriya >>>#head empty just fake anslysis quirk user midoriya#bakugou going fish eyed at the realization that izukus always been quirkless#bakugou: so u lied to me#midoriya: and to everyone yeah#no bc bkg falling in love w midos hard work#n thinking that he would love midoriya no matter what then ‘no matter what’ happens to be midoriya being quirkless n now hes confused#bnha#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#slight#bakudeku#aizawa shouta#nezu#long post#like long
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Perfect
Pairing: Akaashi x Reader
Genre/Warnings: NSFW, Yandere, Toxic Relationships, Manipulation, Non-Con/Dub-Con, Forced Impregnation
Prompt: “I told you to stay still”
Summary: The perfect couple always has children. Multiple children. A full family. A house full of laughter and home-cooked meals. And you two are the epitome of a perfect couple. So why are you still so hesitant about taking the next big step?
Author’s Note: This is my contribution for my HQ Discord Server’s NSFW collaboration. There are so many talented writers on the server and I highly encourage you to check out the collaboration masterlist here to see how everyone decided to run with this spicy prompt. (Masterlist goes live Tuesday 6th October 11:00pm U.K. time!)
Akaashi’s always been an overthinker. He can admit that. He knows it’s a flaw he’s always had and could never seem to shake off. But just because he realizes it doesn’t mean he does anything about it. And the overwhelming pressure he places on himself in everything he does only fuels the suffocating thoughts until they’re screaming in his head. Unfortunately for you, his sweet darling wife, that only means terrible things for you and suddenly every move you make is alarming, every word you say is suspicious, every breath you take painstakingly monitored.
Akaashi just wants to be the perfect husband, the perfect lover, the perfect provider. He wants the two of you to be the perfect happily married couple, to live the perfect domestic life. So after years of playing house, of devoting all his attention and love on you, of spoiling you rotten with everything you could possibly want, when you tell him you aren’t ready to have children yet, he feels his cool facade slip and the incessant thoughts begin to drown him.
The perfect couple always has children. Multiple children. A full family. A house full of laughter and home-cooked meals. And you two are the epitome of a perfect couple. So why are you still so hesitant about taking the next big step? Are you tired of him? Do you not want to have kids with him? Are you planning on leaving him?
You nervously shift from foot to foot, intimidated by the chaos you see in blue eyes and you tentatively reach out to your husband, trying to understand what’s wrong, but you sigh in relief as he jolts at your touch, staring blankly at you before setting his face back to its usual serene countenance, slightly smiling at you as he nods in understanding and affectionately kisses your forehead. This is the Akaashi you’d fallen in love with and you happily sigh as you wrap your arms around his waist, letting yourself be rocked in his arms in a warm embrace, ignorant of how his face hardens as soon as his chin is tucked above your head, eyes thoughtful, mind scheming.
It takes some coaxing, some patient conversations during your most vulnerable moments when you were still groggily rubbing the sleep out of your eyes or yawning as you lay your head on the pillow to sleep at night, but he finally gets his answers and he smiles in endearment as you worry about whether or not you’re ready to be a mom. Would you even be a good mom? Oh. He’s sure you’re going to be the perfect mother and he makes a mental note to prove that to you until you see it for yourself, but he’s grateful for the darkness that hides his grimace when you go on to talk about how you also want to focus on your career for now. It’s not that Akaashi is against women working. He doesn’t hate how happy and fulfilled you feel as you ramble on and on about work, about your coworkers, about your salary and title. He just thinks you’d be even more perfect as his pretty little housewife and he quietly plans and strategizes as your breathing gets heavier and heavier until you’re fast asleep besides him on your shared bed.
He waits until your chest rises and falls in even rhythms before reaching over for your phone. You’ve always been so trusting, probably too trusting of him, but that works in his favor now as he flawlessly types in your password and dives into your alarms and work emails. A swipe there, a deletion here. He meticulously combs through your phone turning off your alarms, deleting important meetings, getting rid of urgent emails waiting for your response before he quietly places your phone on the nightside table by you, pleased with his work and he closes his own eyes, a small smile on his face as he peacefully sleeps.
Luckily, he leaves for work much earlier than you, so he’s out the door before you can even realize the messy day you’re about to have and he can’t be blamed for not waking you up when your alarm doesn’t go off. He patiently waits and waits, glancing at his phone every now and then, waiting for the onslaught of panicked and distressing texts he knows you’ll send his way as your day gets progressively worse and worse. And sure enough, his phone vibrates over and over again as you send a flurry of texts steeped in negative emotions and like the perfect husband he is, he sends the consoling and comforting notes you need. And when you call, crying and sobbing about being yelled at, about how awful at your job you are, he’s there to soothe you.
“Don’t cry, love. It’s not your fault. You’re an amazing woman. Maybe this just isn’t the right job for you or the right company for you.”
He plants the seeds of doubt in your mind and you let them be watered by the sweet suggestions he sprinkles on you. And with just a few more flicks of his wrist in the middle of the night when you’re asleep, ignorant of your phone being used without your knowledge, and a little bit of time, you’re finally fired and he’s there, rushing back home to wrap you in his arms. But he smiles when instead of being distraught, you merely sit there quietly as you tuck yourself against him.
“Maybe this just wasn’t the right job for me, Keiji.”
He encourages you to take some time off from the workforce. You had worked so hard for so long. You deserve a break. And you mindlessly nod along to his silky voice. Relaxing does sound nice. You had thrown yourself into your job so much that you’d forgotten what it was like to have so much free time and you begin to excitedly ponder what hobbies you could pick up to fill the days, what projects around the house you could finally get done.
Akaashi sighs when his alarm goes off the next morning, but he sits up in confusion when the smell of freshly brewed coffee wafts through the air and he blearily turns to your side of the bed, freezing when he finds it empty. But his groggy mind begins to put two and two together and he rushes towards the kitchen where he feels like his heart might burst at the sight of you humming, an apron daintily wrapped around you as you pour a generous amount of dark caffeine in his favorite mug. And he can’t stop himself from closing the distance between you as he tenderly wraps you in his arms, turning you around until you’re face to face as he captures your lips in a good morning kiss. He wants every morning to be like this, he thinks, as he mentally captures the image of you smiling and waving goodbye to him from the apartment door. The perfect loving wife seeing her husband off.
You spend your long days at home tidying up the house, decorating spaces in the house you’d always wanted to spruce up but never had time to before, spending hours in the kitchen cooking and baking everything you’d always wanted to try. It’s nice to fall into a domestic rhythm with Akaashi and work is far from your mind as you cheerily greet your husband when he comes home, as the two of you pleasantly chat while he eats the piping hot delicious meal you’ve prepared for him, as he hand feeds you the brownies you had made as the two of you sit on the couch and watch a show together.
But as time goes on, you find yourself twiddling your thumbs a bit with just a little too much idle time on your hand now that the interior of the apartment is exactly up to your dream standards of cleanliness and decor. And you can’t help but wonder how nice it would be to have a small child running about the place, keeping you company while Akaashi is away at work. You freeze when the thought crosses your mind and your brows furrow in confusion. Where had that thought come from? You’d never wanted kids before. And yet...You quickly shove that fleeting idea to the back of your mind as you refold laundry that had already been handled, throwing yourself into anything that could distract you from the strange desires plaguing your mind.
Little do you know how much Akaashi has influenced you in the time you’ve been stuck at home. Little do you know that the daily evening walks he takes you on after dinner are always purposefully done around the nearby children parks. Little do you know that the little comments and remarks he makes about how adorable that child is, how silly this child is aren’t as offhand as you think. They’re strategically strung together words just for you and he slightly smiles when he sees them weaving through your mind as your eyes soften and a longing smile begins to tug at your lips when you turn to look at what he’s talking about. Little do you know that it’s no accident when the two of you go shopping and find yourselves passing aisles of children’s toys and clothing. And Akaashi feels his chest tighten with affection when you unconsciously skim your fingers over the tiny shoes and onesies, asking him for his opinions.
“Aren’t these cute, Keiji?”
And he nods his head as he reaches down to hold your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours as you continue perusing.
He knows he almost has you right where he wants you. He can almost see the cogs turning in your head, see you imagining a life with him and a family...your own little family. It’s time for the final step and he secretly keeps tabs on the convenient period tracking app you have on your phone waiting and waiting until your next ovulation period and when it comes, you squeal in surprise when he impatiently whisks you off to your shared bedroom and presses you down onto the bed as soon as he steps into the house after work.
His movements are so hurried, so rough, so unlike how Akaashi normally is, but you eagerly reciprocate, excited to see this side of your husband and you’re a moaning, writhing mess as he bites and sucks every inch of your skin, a trail of red skin following in his wake as he marks up your neck, collarbones, and breasts. You’re already dripping wet by the time he finally reaches down to rub your clit and slip his fingers inside of you and your hips buck up into his touch, urging him for more. Your head is swirling with lust and you whine when he briefly slips away to guide the tip of his cock against your leaking hole and you shudder in desire when you feel him running his tip along your slit. But even in your dazed state, you feel yourself hesitate a bit when you see that he isn’t using a condom.
“Keiji, I’m ovulating. You need to use a cond- AH!”
You’re cut off as he slides his cock inside of you, your slick walls greedily sucking him in with little resistance and you try to muster up the words to repeat yourself, but you can’t articulate anything as he leans down to suck a perky nipple as he begins to thrust in and out of you in a sensual, but thorough pattern, making sure you can feel every inch of him rubbing against your clenching walls, making sure you can feel him sink balls deep inside of him, making sure you can feel him stimulate the spongy spot inside of you that has you seeing stars. And you give up, trusting that he’d at least pull out before he cums, and you lose yourself to the feeling of being so used and filled, feeling the coil in your stomach grow tighter and tighter, and when blue eyes gaze down at you and he hungrily leans down to capture your lips in a searing kiss, you fall over the edge, your pleasured wails swallowed by your husband’s lips as he chases his own end.
You lay there in mind numbing bliss as he continues to sink in and out of your tight heat, letting out little mewls of overstimulation, but when you feel the erratic rhythm of his thrusts and you see the telltale look on his face as he closes his eyes that indicate he’s close and he makes no attempt to pull out, you weakly shake his shoulders, squirming and wriggling your body from underneath him as you try to pull away.
“K-Keiji, NGH you can cum on me. Okay? AH B-but, you can’t cum inside me.”
You scream when large hands roughly grab your waist in a bruising grip and forcefully pull you down until he’s fully inside you once again.
“Stay still.”
You whimper, trying to be good for him, but anxiety is beginning to cloud your pleasure and you struggle once again, pleading with him and telling him you don’t want to get pregnant. But you keen when that only spurs him on to fuck you rougher, harder, deeper and your eyes roll back as you try to register the almost painful overstimulation you’re going through.
“I told you to stay still.”
And this time you do stay still, unable to do anything else but lay there like a good obedient wife as he pistons in and out of you, your mouth open in a persistent silent scream as your hands desperately scramble to find purchase in the rumpled bed sheets and you brokenly moan when he finally shoves inside of you with one final thrust and your stomach feels hot as spurts of liquid spill inside of you.
You’re in shock as he stays buried inside of you, trapping your body with his as he lays down on top of you, nuzzling and kissing the crook of your neck as he keeps his cum inside of you and you’re not sure how much time passes as you just lay there, mind blank as you try to come to terms with what had just happened. But when you feel his cock begin to twitch and harden inside of you once more, you frantically try to push him away from you, try to separate yourself from him.
“Keiji, stop it! I need to go get Plan B or something. I-”
Your mind is a chaotic swirl as you try to figure out next steps to avoid this unwanted pregnancy and you think you might throw up at the idea of being pregnant, having a child, all so suddenly, so fast.
You’re not ready. You’re not ready. You’re not ready.
Your thoughts are shattered to pieces when you’re shoved back down onto the mattress and you loudly wail when Akaashi begins an unforgiving pace once again, brutally slamming his hips into yours, his cum acting as lubrication, making it easier for him to plow into you and take you over and over again. And the last coherent thought you have is that you were such a fool to not realize just how much stronger, how much larger Akaashi is compared to you as your attempts to shake him off are easily ignored by the man above you.
You don’t know how much time has passed. It feels like an eternity and you’re not sure how you’re still conscious as Akaashi breeds you over and over again. Your mouth is open in a persistent silent scream, your eyes are rolled so far back in your head you can barely see, tears and drool mar your face. Everything feels so good, too good, and you can’t stop sobbing from the overwhelming pleasure you feel as Akaashi keeps on spilling load after load of sticky white liquid inside of you and you curl into Akaashi’s body instinctively for comfort when he sinks down on top of you, exhaustion finally catching up with him. And the two of you just lay there, chests heaving as you both heavily pant, his flaccid cock still buried inside of you, plugging his cum inside of you. And even though you want to yell at him, to be angry at him for forcing this on you, you’re so spent, head empty of anything except for Akaashi that you let yourself be maneuvered until you’re both on your sides, facing each other, your lower bodies still intimately connected.
You let out a little whimper when you feel a large hand gently stroke your cum-filled stomach, but you can feel your face and body grow hot when his other hand gently nudges your chin up to look at him and you see the look of pure love and adoration in his eyes.
“You’re going to look so beautiful with your belly bulging with my children, our children.”
You let out a breathy gasp when he teasingly fondles one of your pebbled nipples and palms your fleshy mound.
“You’re going to look so beautiful when these swell up with milk. I wonder if our children would be willing to share some with their father.”
Sweet word after word spills from his lips and you listlessly lay there listening to him go on and on, painting a picture of what your future lives together would look like, and before you can catch yourself from falling deeper into his trap, your mind betrays you and images flash across your vision and you unconsciously draw even nearer to Akaashi, cuddling into his body affectionately as picture perfect scenes of you braiding a little girl’s hair while Akaashi teaches a little boy how to play volleyball flicker across your imagination. And when Akaashi feels you gently place your hand on top of his hand that’s still cradling your stomach practically sloshing with the amount of liquid he’s gifted you with tonight, he knows he’s got you hook, line, and sinker.
That night the two of you fall asleep, dreaming about the perfect life you’re going to have together.
#haikyuu smut#haikyuu yandere#yandere haikyuu#akaashi x reader#yandere akaashi#tw: noncon#tw: dubcon#tw: manipulation#tw: yandere
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card symbolism and dream smp members
ok so with both c!wilbur and c!quackity having a card motif for their respective games (solitaire and poker), my little gremlin brain immediately tried to attach people to specific cards and their symbolism. i have filled the roles of kings, queens, jacks, aces, and jokers for all four suits and can defend every single one of my choices (although some are less defensible than others). also i am not familiar with every single card game under the sun, so my idea of which cards are more “powerful” than the others is based solely on the game of War, which i feel is pretty fitting for the dream smp (also i don’t know shit about poker).
Kings:
Eret, the King of Hearts
Philza, the King of Spades
Bad, the King of Diamonds
Ranboo, the King of Cloves
Kings appear to be the most powerful cards, but are not actually, being able to be taken by aces. In this way, kings can represent the illusion of power, but with a single weakness. Eret is the King of the Greater Dream SMP, but, as it was pointed out on November 16th, that power can easily be stripped away. Philza is the Angel of Death and along with Technoblade and Dream, completely demolished L’manberg on Doomsday. But Philza only has one canon life. Bad is the leader of the Eggpire, but he isn’t really the one in control, the Egg is. Ranboo seemingly has strong morals with his defining belief of “choosing people not sides,” however he is not fully in control of his actions and could be unknowingly assisting Dream.
Queens:
Niki, the Queen of Hearts
Puffy, the Queen of Spades
Hannah, the Queen of Diamonds
Tubbo, the Queen of Cloves
Look, I don’t really have that much of explanations for these other than 3/4s of them are female and therefore are queens. Tubbo is the only one that I have a real explanation for. Tubbo has been called a pawn by Dream, and yes I’m mixing my chess and card metaphors, but in chess, a pawn can be promoted if it makes its way to the other side of the board, usually becoming a queen, the most powerful piece in the game. Between his nukes and his relationships with Tommy and Ranboo, Tubbo has the potential or is already a power player on the server. While I don’t have great reasons for the choice of queen for the other three (other than being women), I can explain the choice in suits. Niki’s journey has been one filled with heartbreak: the loss of og L’manberg, Wilbur’s fall and eventual death, and the destruction of L’manberg, twice. Puffy, as of late, has been fighting for causes that she has seen as right and good: being one of the leaders of the pro-omelette resistance and being one of the few adults to try and help Tommy. I’ve kind of associated the diamond suit with the Blood Vines for the King and Jack, so Hannah is a good choice for the queen.
tldr: these explanations are weaker than most but these characters are important and i wanted to put them on here and this post has been sitting in my drafts for like a week
Jacks:
Fundy, the Jack of Hearts
Jack Manifold, the Jack of Spades
Antfrost, the Jack of Diamonds
Tommy, the Jack of Cloves
Jacks were the servants of the king in medieval times. The characters I have chosen as Jacks are people whose worth or purpose is often determined by how they are helping or affecting the people around them. I’m not super caught up on Fundy’s lore, but I know part of it in Season 1 was how Wilbur did not see him as his own person, but rather seeing him as more of a symbol or something to protect. Jack Manifold constantly feels used and belittled by Tommy, which is currently the driving force behind his arc. Antfrost’s main purpose in the story right now is to be the second-in-command to the Eggpire, to the point that we don’t even know why he joined. Within the context of the SMP, people only seem to have a positive opinion of Tommy when he is doing something for them. Any other time, he is seen as the cause of all problems on the server.
Aces:
Sam, the Ace of Hearts
Wilbur, the Ace of Spades
Quackity, the Ace of Diamonds
Karl, the Ace of Cloves
Aces, despite having the number value of one, can take Kings, making them arguably the most powerful cards. Thus aces can symbolically mean characters who are overlooked or underestimated. Sam, until very recently, had not been considered a powerful person on the server. However, despite new breaks in his will, he holds a lot of power as the warden of the prison. Wilbur refused to wear armor and was not great at pvp, but he was able to found L’manberg and eventually destroyed it. Quackity is usually only seen as comic relief, but as proved with yesterday’s stream, he now has Dream scared of him. Karl had not had any major impact on the lore until fairly recently with his time traveling, but now that has the potential to be extremely important to the overall story.
Jokers:
Technoblade, the Red Joker
Dream, the Black Joker
Jokers don’t have suits and are used wild cards. Technoblade and Dream are the two pvp gods on the server and are not held back by a single narrative role. They can be an ally, victim, or villain and the opinions of other people on them vary greatly.
#dream smp#dsmp#mcyt#mcytblr#eret#philza#badboyhalo#ranboo#nihachu#captain puffy#hannahxxrose#tubbo#fundy#jack manifold#antfrost#tommyinnit#awesamdude#wilbur soot#quackity#karl jacobs#technoblade#dreamwastaken
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Fate | Kageyama Tobio x Reader (One-shot)
✧ Summary: For years you watched Kageyama grow - from his time as king of Kitagawa Daiichi to the seemingly aloof setter on Karasuno. Your lives were a set of near misses; distant friends, but never getting any closer. You figured that once you entered Shiratorizawa High that it would be the end of your friendship. Thankfully, it was only the beginning.
➳ Tags: Slight Oikawa x Reader; Fluff with very minimal angst; Reader transfers from Seijoh to Shiratoriazawa so there’s drama; I love Oikawa but oooF this is not a good fic of him
➳ A/N: Captain-Sama! In the groupchat is the username for the female captain of Shiratorizawa and do you know da wae is the reader’s lmao
Navigation
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As much as Oikawa complained about him, you understood Kageyama Tobio to a certain extent.
You spotted the setter during your shared time at Kitagawa Daiichi Junior High, him being one year your junior. There was no doubt the genius and pure talent that was coursing through his veins - he was surely going to make whichever high-school he attended proud.
You had the same position as him on the women's volleyball team and served as vice-captain in your second-year, alongside a third-year who held their head just as high.
There was nothing more scary than the thought of looming talent, creeping up on you until you were rendered absolute. Oikawa, you were sure, had felt that since the moment Kageyama was placed as an alternate setter during his first-year. It was a daunting feeling, to work on something at all hours of the day and know that there was someone who could easily render it all worthless.
But that did not mean it was fair to treat the poor first-year that way.
Iwaizumi was the senpai Kageyama deserved, but the blueberry held a strange respect for the setter two years his senior. No matter how much of a jerk Oikawa proved to be, through his biting words or taunting nature to the other setter, that did not change how amazing of an all-around player Oikawa was. And that made Kageyama respect him even more.
You respected Kageyama's genius, even helping him personally with his jump-serves, but there was no doubt that he heavily relied on Oikawa's example.
You wondered how long that would last.
Oikawa progressed to Aobajōsai High School at the end of the year. And, to everyone's surprise and obvious disapproval, you did not advance to the white-and-blue signature colors of the school that most Kitagawa Daiichi students went to.
The vice-captain and later full captain of the women’s Kitagawa Daiichi Junior High volleyball team was not going to Aobajōsai.
You would be branded a traitor by the lesser students, people who served as your other teammates that you were not close to. But your friends around you knew just who much you worked hard and aspired to have this academic achievement. You, in the depths of your hearth, admitted that you wanted to be on a team that almost guaranteed victory, with teammates who you could conduct and control the game with.
Unlike what many had hoped, you were going to Shiratorizawa Academy.
Your grades were well above average, actually landing you in the top five in your class among your entire graduating year. What stood you out among the endless crowds of talented setters, beyond your unending potential, was your already rounded ability as an aggressive server. Your jump-serves were better than the other first years in your newly minted class (an ability that came as a perk of being a certain Oikawa Tōru's friend).
Given both an academic and sports scholarship, you flashed a blinding smile at your junior high graduation, parents and friends clapping at your achievements.
You felt blessed to have such supportive parents, ones who, despite their busy work schedules, still attempted to attend your major volleyball games. And had vocally voiced to you their approval of your wanting to go to Shiratorizawa, offering to pay for it out of pocket if you had not received a scholarship.
You could not ask for better parents than these.
Shiratorizawa Academy handed you a new ass - giving an entirely new meaning to practice and torture.
You accepted the position as alternate to the regular setter with a smile, happy to just be on the bench and not cheering from the stands. If anything, the first few months of Shiratorizawa showed you that you had so much more to learn.
But you were eager for the challenge.
A particular practice match with the women's team from Itachiyama Academy solidified your need for much more training. You wanted to be a reliable pillar to the team, for whatever role you needed to sub into for the game. Whether it be just as a pinch server or when the regular setter was sick, you wanted to demonstrate the winning attitude that came with being a student to a school of absolute victors.
You spent your first-year training nonstop, your fellow first-year students surprised at your youthful vigor and unending stamina. But you had to prove yourself better than reliable, that you were going to uphold the Shiratorizawa standard for setters and more if you wanted to be a regular.
You related to Shirabu and Kawanishi, fellow students in your year who were keen on becoming regulars to the men’s volleyball team. Both you and Shirabu had not attended Shiratorizawa Junior Academy, instead coming from separate junior high's that were considered lesser. Because of this, you two came in ‘brand-new’ with no friends or experience with the school personally. Shirabu grew to have an obvious close relationship with Kawanishi, but you found yourself gravitating toward them every once in a while, as well.
The rivalry between your school and Seijō took the back-burner during your training. You would see some of your previous friends when there were practice matches between your schools and you made an effort to text and even hang with some of them if given the time, but volleyball man.
It was hard to manage your academic workload alongside giving more than one-hundred percent in your sport.
When the Interhigh-Preliminaries rolled around, you watched from the stands as second-year Oikawa Tōru had already taken the helm as vice-captain and regular setter of the Aobajōsai volleyball team. You were silently proud of your brunet senpai, despite how gaudy and annoying he could be, there was no denying Oikawa’s obvious skill and love for the sport.
The rivalry between specifically Ushijima and your previous senpai ran bone-deep and it was easily palpable to everyone watching the match, even more so to you, who sat at least a hundred feet away but knew both young men personally now.
After the game, you went down and put a comforting hand on Oikawa's shoulder, who gave a small grimace at the motion before fully standing to look at you. It was easy to morph your appearance and identity with the other students adorned with purple tracksuits, (since not matter who, they all annoyed the hell out of him) but Oikawa remembered your face personally from Kitagawa Daiichi.
The two of you were not especially close during junior high, but definitely friends that would often converse on a daily basis. Since you were the vice-captain of the women's team while Oikawa was captain of his, you often shared your personal woes and experiences.
You even had a shared extra-curricular class in some science-related subject (you knew he was a closeted nerd, no matter how much he denied it). He was definitely a friend of yours, but you never truly knew what was going on in that head of his.
Oikawa’s eyes widened at recognizing your face, before dropping down the bold font of your school's name at the front of your jacket.
"And here I was, wondering if you had moved or died." Oikawa started with a small smirk, "This is much worse."
You lightly punched at his shoulder and then sighed, "Believe it or not, even though you're such a nuisance, I missed you."
Oikawa smiled, but then held a hand over his heart in feigned offense. "Nuisance?"
"I missed you, big oof." You put a loose arm under his and wrapped it around his middle in a side-hug, surprising the brunet who quickly returned the action. "I'm proud of how far you've come.
He rolled his eyes and attempted to pull away, "I don't need you to baby me."
"I won't." You stated in a firm voice, "But I do know you will continue to do whatever it takes to destroy my school."
Oikawa looked at you, fully peered at your countenance as he soaked in your words, before nodding in affirmation. You shared more words of conversation, catching up between friends who had not seen each other in a whole year, before he returned back to his team.
Like the previous Seijō captain, you were relentless in your training during your first-year. You wanted nothing more than to be the regular setter on your team. It was not enough being the sub, even as a first-year, you wanted to prove your abilities on the center-court in an official game.
The regular setter was a third-year, with graduation looming around the corner. Both you and your second-year counterpart were eyeing the position with eager eyes, but your work ethic did not fail you.
GroupChat: Caw Caw SHIRATORIZAWA ୧༼ д ͡༽୨
07:57 From: Not-my-libero-Yamagata ( ´ ▽ ` )
welcome aboard (L/N)!!
07:57 From: Captain-Sama!
congrats (L/N)!
07:57 From: do you know da wae
aw thanks! But it wasn’t without the help of the team (✿ ♥‿♥)
07:57 From: do you know da wae
also congrats to shirabu and kawanishi!
07:58 From: Not-my-libero-Yamagata ( ´ ▽ ` )
i ship it
07:58 From: Kenjiro (`へ´*)
thank you and you too
07:58 From: Captain-Sama!
but there’s three of them
07:58 From: Kawanishi ✩꒳✩
thanks b + you 2
07:58 From: the most tender Salami
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
07:58 From: the most tender Salami
Also yah congrats but im watching you
There was no question that every eye of both the men’s and women’s volleyball teams were now scanning the shared groupchat with narrowed eyes. The newly formed regular positions were just released this morning and everyone was eagerly anticipating to see their names announced.
You were thankful that the women’s captain was so friendly, offering congratulations for your achievement, unlike many other envious third-years who were now sitting on the bench.
You were pronounced as the regular setter in your second-year, your older senpai inwardly sneering at the pronouncement. Nothing was set in stone and no player was ever safe in their position, (unless of course you were Ushijima Wakatoshi), but your older teammate knew better than to waver in their own training.
Which is why you were not personally offended when the kind-hearted, Semi Eita, did not add to the numerous amounts of congrats to you and the two other second-year boys. You were grouped together with Shirabu and Kawanishi, newly minted second-years now inaugurated into regular positions on a renowned team. There was no doubt that there was a hint of envy and competition within Shiratorizawa now.
07:59 From: Captain-Sama!
don’t be rude salami this is a congrats thread
07:58 From: Ushiwaka-sama
You will all surely be assets to our team
7:58 From: do you know da wae
Thank you!! ❤⃛ヾ(๑❛ ▿ ◠๑ )
08:00 From: Coconut-head
congrats to all the second-years!
08:00 From: Coconut-head
໒( ♥ ◡ ♥ )७
You saw the multiple indicators that someone was typing, suddenly come to a complete stop.
Goshiki Tsutomu was the rare case of a student abounding with natural talent and enthusiasm. Yes, there were tons of students blessed with a general aptitude for volleyball. But what set him apart was his humble attitude and willing manner to learn and keep being molded. He was growing to be the product of all his older teammates, since he had no previous sense of style to retain.
Goshiki Tsutomu would surely grow to be Shiratorizawa’s ace.
But right now, he was an enthusiastic first-year trying to overcome the overwhelming shadow of Ushijima Wakatoshi.
It undoubtedly set off the tempers of multiple (now) third-years. You even felt the crawl of envy at the young man. You were only granted a regular spot in your second-year. And yet this first-year had already overcome your personal feat. You knew, in the more comprehensive parts of your mind, that Goshiki earned his role and there was no excusing your petty behavior.
So, with a deep sigh, your fingers swiped across the keyboard.
08:05 From: do you know da wae
Congrats to you too, Goshiki-kun! (♥‿ ♥ ) ~
08:00 From: Coconut-head
thank you senpai!!
The captain of the women’s team, along with Yamagata and Ushijima, added in their own forms of congratulations to the growing thread on the chat. But there was no doubt that the atmosphere was suddenly even more tense with the addition of Goshiki’s words. You could not blame anyone; you knew first-hand how much you worked and literally slaved for your position on the starting block.
Every regular on the team worked their way to their position – that was a fact no one could ignore.
But they had to learn to live with it.
You spent most of your time getting integrated with your fellow teammates, thoughts of Kitagawa Daiichi taking a much further backburner than before. You heard the distant yet familiar names of Oikawa and Iwaizumi often make their way into conversation. There was no doubt that you loved your friends, but they were your rivals now.
And you had no hesitation in recounting their abilities and weaknesses when both Reon and the infamous Guess Monster had asked you.
It also helped that you were once the captain of the women’s team and knew them better than anyone had before. Which also helped you exploit their weakness – another additive that the coach had taken to account when putting you on the starting block.
But there was another label that, in particular, stood out as you approached your second Interhigh-Preliminary as a student of Shiratorizawa.
Freak quick duo.
You were familiar with the several different nicknames that promulgated the Miyagi volleyball scene – great king, guess monster, little giant, super volleyball idiot (but that was more of an inner joke between Shiratorizawa students).
It was strange to you, that Kageyama had not yet made an appearance at Shiratorizawa Academy. He surely had the volleyball forte and physical ability to be the most skilled setter in the Prefecture, but you chalked it up to his grades or brisk personality that may have weighed him down.
But when Kageyama was not even present for the practice match between Seijō and your own school, it made you wonder if he had dropped off the face of the planet. For students who were seriously pursuing their sport, it was not a surprise for them to travel abroad to train. But you doubted Kageyama of all people would do so, his English was terrible.
Usually students from your junior high would immediately accept the invitation to Aobajōsai, a private school seconded only by Shiratorizawa. The few unique instances against this was yourself, but there was no sight of Kageyama at your school.
So where on earth was he?
Both of Seijō’s teams, men’s and women’s, were coming for the match and the annual start of their explosive rivalry. It was strange for you, to now experience both sides of the Oikawa and Ushijima relationship. You had been on Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s side not too long ago, seeing Ushijima’s brute words that you had taken, at the time, as sarcastic and extremely biting.
It was funny how now, knowing Ushijima personally, you knew the poor spiker only had volleyball in his heart and mind – oblivious to how offensive his words could really be.
09:34 From: the most tender Salami
enemy spotted
Attached: brunet.jpg, ihatethisguy.jpg
09:34 From: Ushiwaka-sama
He should’ve gone to Shiratorizawa
09:34 From: the most tender Salami
lmao he can’t hear you waka-kun
09:34 From: Ushiwaka-sama
That does not make it any less true
09:35 From: Captain-Sama!
Wait
09:35 From: Captain-Sama!
WAIT
09:35 From: the most tender Salami
????
09:35 From: Captain-Sama!
wait
Attached: screenshot.jpg
09:35 From: the most tender Salami
WHAT
09:36 From: Kenjiro (`へ´*)
That’s literally just a zoomed in version
09:36 From: the most tender Salami
um that’s SHIRATORIZAWA’S (F/N) with the enemy
09:36 From: Kawanishi ✩꒳✩
I mean she did go to Kitagawa Daiichi
09:36 From: Not-my-libero-Yamagata ( ´ ▽ ` )
wait she’s Oikawa’s student ???
09:37 From: Captain-Sama!
and now it all makes sense
09:37 From: Ushiwaka-sama
even his student has the good sense in coming to Shiratorizawa
09:37 From: the most tender Salami
LMAO you have no chill
09:37 From: Ushiwaka-sama
it’s almost summer, why would I be cold?
09:37 From: Captain-Sama!
the top 3 ace in the entire country, ladies and gentlemen
You opened the chat after the last message from your captain. By then, you had already greeted the visiting teams from Aobajōsai and were leading them to the gyms that were being used to the practice matches. It was strange, seeing the friends that you had spent more than three years with, wearing rival colors to your own.
“I’ll never get used to seeing Shiratorizawa-clad you, (F/N).” One of your old close friends commented, pointing at your purple tracksuit.
“Honestly, me too.” You admitted, looking up toward her before going back to your phone. You briefly showed the last few texts to Oikawa himself, who rolled his eyes at Ushijima’s words.
There was always something strange about Ushijima when it came to the Aobajōsai setter. It was mixture of respect and something, that always motivated Ushijima to voice his desire for Oikawa to go to Shiratorizawa. He had explained on one occasion that Oikawa was a setter unlike any in the prefecture, including his current team as well.
Oikawa was the type of setter who could bring out the absolute best of anyone, orchestrate his team to their full one-hundred percent, molding them toward his personal interest and control of the game.
And as a setter yourself, you knew that despite his gaudy style, Oikawa was well above the rest.
Ushijima often voiced that Oikawa deserved a team that would help him grow, rather than a team that require him to win – a team he had to drag by his fingertips.
You had explained to Oikawa once before how Ushijima explained it to you, of course with better words and ones that the brunet would less likely take offense to, but the setter simply scowled and muttered that Waka was still an asshole anyway. When you had told Ushijima about the bonds that Oikawa upheld, Ushijima simply narrowed his eyes and said nothing.
It was strange, their relationship. The feelings seemed to run bone-deep, neither male listening to the other side or even simple reason. But you learned not to question it anymore. It went against logic.
You flipped your phone back open to the groupchat and typed.
09:38 From: do you know da wae
I wasn’t his student, I was his babysitter
You typed in, Oikawa looking over your shoulder as you texted, immediately reaching over you to grab your phone the moment he had realized what you conveyed. You could almost feel the loud laughter of Tendou as he bellowed out at your text.
“Why must you taunt me like this (L/N)-chan?” Oikawa pouted, crossing his arms and looking away from you. Iwaizumi had a small smile when you showed him your words, Makki and Mattsun laughing in response since the true personality of the intimidating setter was coming to light to the other Shiratorizawa students.
“It’s time everyone learns the truth.” You teased, rubbing your shoulder against Oikawa’s as he continued to pout. There was no one quite like Oikawa, you admitted inwardly but never to the face of the already proud setter.
They unloaded their things into the visiting school’s locker room and when you returned they had already shook hands and were warming up before the start of the practice match. You tilted your head at the line-up, now a visual confirmation that Kageyama was nowhere in sight.
“Who are you cheering for, (F/N)?” Tendou asked you with a pointed finger in your direction.
You simply rolled your eyes, “Myself. I have my own game in an hour.”
It was to no one’s surprise that your school had dominated both matches, for both the men’s and women’s team. You spied the score-board when you looked over to the men’s match: 25-22 and 27-25. The gaps were not huge and it was obvious that the teams were close in ability, but Aobajōsai had yet to win a single match from your school in three straight years.
You had an unfair advantage of already being closely acquainted with many of Seijō volleyball players – you were once their captain and had to help them individually with their own routines. To your captain’s glee and the third-years’ utter dismay, you proved yourself to be the integral cog that led to the team’s victory – your position as a regular was obviously here to stay.
There was no denying the evident vigor in Oikawa’s eyes after the match, even more so since he had personally requested from you the digital recording of his practice match. An exchange of two orders of milk bread from the bakery across Aobajōsai and you had emailed the brunet his request.
You offered to walk the Seijō students to their bus, since you had a personal question in mind. “Did Kageyama move or something?” You asked toward Oikawa, who scowled in response.
“He went to Karasuno High.” Iwaizumi answered instead, elbowing the brunet for his rude behavior.
“Why do you care so much, (L/N)-chan?” Oikawa taunted, “You already have me and I’m the best setter you need.”
You rolled your eyes along with Makki, but decided to say nothing after his words.
Karasuno…
You remembered the name of the school distantly. It was still within the prefecture, but you do not recall the school being particularly outstanding when it came to volleyball or any sport for that matter. The school was not anywhere near the list of high-schools you had applied to when you were in junior high, so why would Kageyama, who had unending potential, go somewhere else?
You had voiced this outwardly and even asked if there was an offer from Seijō to Kageyama.
Makki shrugged his shoulders, but the younger student behind him, one that you did not recognize, visibly tensed and the frown on his face grew. He said nothing to you, but it was obvious that Kageyama’s name alone had an effect on the first-years.
Ushijima was already standing at the buses; perfect posture and his hands were naturally down by his sides. You could tell the Seijō students were ready to fight, tensing immediately at the sight of your fellow schoolmate, Oikawa and Iwaizumi moving to stand at the very front of their group. You fought down the urge to call Tendou or Semi, hoping that the situation would not progress further and requiring the help of the other third-years.
“Let today be a testament, Oikawa. It’s never too late for you to come to Shiratorizawa.” He uttered before walking away, right through the center of the group and back to the school grounds.
You spotted Oikawa’s tense smirk, one that he was attempting to use to hide his obvious frown. Iwaizumi was not hiding his scowl and Mattsun looked ready to fight.
You put your hands up, unsure what to say. “I don’t get it. He’s only ever like this with you guys.”
“Don’t defend him, (F/N).” One of your old friends on the female team stated, “You’re one of Ushiwaka’s friends now, you wouldn’t understand how it’s like to be on the losing side anymore.”
You bit your lip but said nothing, there was no reasoning with them when the snide venom from their defeat was still a fresh wound in their minds. You were better off not trying to say anything to them, but with Oikawa’s scowl only increasing you knew you had to do something.
Oikawa kept his eyes trained on Ushijima’s retreating back, before motioning for the younger students to load up their things into the bus, giving his own pack to someone else.
“Oikawa-senpai, please don’t let him get to you.” You put your hands on his chest, seeing the tight fists at the brunet’s sides. “Ushijima doesn’t mean it in a douchey-way, he just comes off like that by accident.”
The brunet took in a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second, before putting his hands on your shoulders and looking you full-on with his piercing hazel eyes.
“Take that Waka! (L/N) still views me as her senpai – her ability hand-picked and trained by me.” Oikawa stated with enthusiasm as he looked over your shoulder and toward the school. Your smile was now a straight-line, there really was no end to their rivalry, you inwardly mused.
You jabbed your elbow into his stomach, making Oikawa release his hold on you. He groaned and bent-down, low enough for you to lightly pat the top of his head and tell him that you looked forward to the milk bread that he owed you.
He countered, saying that you really could not resist seeing your senpai again, and was about to continue if not for the extremely fast volleyball setting loose right on the brunet’s head.
You flashed a quick thumbs-up toward Iwaizumi then waved goodbye. Walking back toward the dorms, you were ready to shower and take a nap after a day like this.
It was strange that two schools that held such an intense rivalry would often hold practice matches between one another. You chalked it up to Seijō’s innate ability to get better as the duration of a match continued, their batch of third-years in particular were good at planning and strategizing on the fly during official matches. It only made sense that they would want to play against the top school even more often.
Your first official Interhigh-Preliminaries as a regular and you watched the competition with guarded interest. You saw the name Karasuno on the first-day, surprised that the school Kageyama had chosen was in the bottom bracket. The women’s team were obviously subpar in terms of volleyball, incapable of even stopping the average serve from their opponents. You frowned, neither team on the court would prove to be a worthy challenger to Shiratorizawa, so you simply walked away from the match.
Maybe his test scores were really bad, you inwardly joked.
Shiratorizawa was exempt from the first few days of matches, giving everyone ample time to watch and gauge their future rivals.
You decided against watching the match of Karasuno vs Dateko, hearing that the Iron Wall had crushed the team only a few months prior. Rather, you chose to watch a match between Johzenji and another, since you wanted to watch for yourself the extremely aggressive style that had you wondering just what was going on inside their heads.
But when a crowd had exclaimed in surprise over by Karasuno’s court, you chose to maybe just walk over and see what the fuss was about.
You took a seat farther from the rest, hearing distantly of a freak quick that not even the school who specialized in read-blocking could keep up with. You knew, first-hand, how fast and aggressive Kageyama was with his setting, it could be a surprise to everyone’s who was seeing it. Even the spikers on his own team in junior high were constantly surprised, you could imagine how it was now that he was using it in a more public setting.
It was confirmed now, before your very eyes, that Kageyama was now attending Karasuno.
Donned in a uniformed of black and orange with a huge indicator of his number nine, Kageyama was still same in appearance from when you had last seen him. Sporting an unintentional scowl with eyes that shone with a certain determination, you could spot Kageyama in the sea of volleyball players. A part of you was proud to see your, now much taller, kouhai on the court.
Your eyes followed the game, watching as Karasuno attempted to get around the Iron Wall that Dateko was infamous for.
A lucky save from a blocked spike, Karasuno’s libero was quick on his feet and you distantly recognized the short male. You blinked, seeing Kageyama’s perfect form and unable to personally decipher where the first-year was going to set to. You saw the older looking man, one who was surely in his twenties. Or the balder looking one, watching the setter from his place in the back line.
You blinked, a second passing as you tried to figure out who was the next attacker.
Your eyes could barely keep up with the orange flash of someone as the figure ran toward the net, without regard to the set, and spiked the ball before anyone on the other side could react. You felt yourself physically reel back in surprise, what the hell was that???
This was the freak-quick duo that everyone was talking about.
It was not just another name, rather it felt like an extreme understatement to what you had just seen for your yourself. You had not spotted any visual signals and wondered just how much Kageyama had worked on his precise pin-prick setting – he was a monster now, that was for sure.
You were not able to watch the rest of the match, your team calling you since it was getting closer to the time that your group was leaving. You had your own matches to deal with, and as curious as you were about how much Kageyama had changed since you last saw him, you had your own pressures to deal with at the moment.
The women’s team of Shiratorizawa won their matches the next day, overwhelming numbers in your favor since your renowned school seemed to always carry the best ace in the entire prefecture. You took in your victories with humble stride, knowing that nothing was set in stone until the final with your rival school - Aobajōsai. Rather, you finished your stretches and attempted to get the tail-end of the match between Seijō and Karasuno.
You watched with bated breath, unsure of who to root for in the final points, as the freak quick nearly disabled the second-best school in the prefecture. You could not help but bite your lip as the shortest middle blocker you had ever seen, rose above the net, only to be blocked by your old friends.
There was no stopping the apparent heart ache you felt at seeing a team you barely knew, dejectedly fall to the ground with their heads hung low. Oikawa was hollering in victory; there was no doubt in your mind that this match extended to a much more personal level, like that of his games with Ushijima. Within seconds, the brunet was yelling out commands for his team, likely getting ready for the next match as Karasuno lagged behind with depressed visages.
It seems Kageyama is finally beginning to trust other people, you inwardly mused when you reran the last few plays within your mind.
You stood at Aobajōsai’s side of the stands, waving to Oikawa with a smile when he spotted you, lining his team up to bow at those who came to watch the match.
Oikawa made a point of smirking and pointing a finger-gun at you, making many heads turn towards your direction as he did so.
You felt the instant pang and vengeance of a thousand fangirls, making the third-years of Seijō roll their eyes as you tensely motioned a slash across your neck toward the brunet. Other Aobajōsai students, those cheering from the stands, lifted a brow in confusion and curiosity – wondering just who this Shiratorizawa student was and what connection you had to Oikawa.
“At this rate, you’ll be branded a traitor, (L/N)-chan.” Tendou joked, making you tense up at the voice. You spotted him, along with three other students from your school sitting a little farther back from the Seijō crowd.
“I can’t be interested in some of my old friends?” You teased back, walking up to where they were sitting.
“Just don’t cry when I demolish your boyfriend.”
“He’s not-!”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Tendou interrupted, turning back to the court as Karasuno neared the Aobajōsai side of the court to bow and offer their own thanks. “Besides, why be interested in him when we have cuties like this one?”
Tendou quickly grabbed at Shirabu’s cheeks, forcing the setter’s frown into a puckered fish-face for a quick second before the brunet nearly mauled his fellow teammate. You rolled your eyes at the antic, but said nothing to acknowledge the question.
You turned back, watching as Kageyama’s distant eyes never wandered higher than eye-level, obviously devastated that this was the result of all his training.
“Kageyama!” You yelled, hoping that the setter would hear you over the applause.
He had, looking up at the stands and seeing you wave at him. There was no hiding his surprise and it looked like he wanted to yell something back, but was instructed by his captain that it was time to head back to the coaches. Kageyama simply waved to you and then ran back to join the others.
“Or is it that one, all along?” Tendou asked in a low voice, eyes following the Karasuno setter before they slide over to you.
You hadn’t heard the red-head, turning back and going out to where the teams were convening downstairs. You attempted to look at the Karasuno crowd, but your own team was assembling for some strategy concerning your own final, the very next day.
After three games, the Shiratorizawa women’s team was pronounced winners of the Interhigh-Prelim. Everyone was aware of your school’s name, it’s reputation – how a win like this was simply expected of you.
But absolute winner did not cover the fact that your face ached from a receive to the face, unable to raise your hands in the visible route of the insane spike of your friend. Or the fact that one of your middle blockers was now actively sporting a limp, pain exploding in her ankle after having a bad landing in an awkward spot after successfully cutting off their ace. Or the fact that one of your regular wing-spikers was now benched, an ice-pack on her knee after her old-injury was sprouting after having to be used so many times.
Or the fact that you nearly cried with joy when you heard the immense crowd of Shiratorizawa cheerleaders and students chant your name, after you performed a setter dump.
None of these details really mattered in most people’s eyes.
You were Shiratorizawa – winners to the core. They had no sympathy for your story or the hard-earned journey you made to the top, many just expected it with no empathy, and it made you scowl.
You and your team lined-up after the match, the cheering growing to a loud uproar as the cheerleaders, alumni section, and just immense crowd of students chanted the victory screech for Shiratorizawa.
You waved with both hands at your parents as they cheered your name even louder.
This was your second-year in Shiratorizawa, but your first time as a regular on the team. Your friends in Seijō were seeing your skill first-hand in the match, from start to finish, as your team had utterly demolished their hopes in progressing to nationals. You were a skilled setter before, but your time at the Academy had honed you better than you ever were. You gained experience from playing other powerhouses from around the country, even some local colleges who were willing to challenge you.
You were on a completely different level than where you were as the captain of Kitagawa Daiichi.
Your friends had accepted long ago your association with Shiratorizawa, but actively putting your face and actions to their defeat obviously strained their feelings toward you more and more.
You made sure to smile at them before the match, attempting to placate the tense feeling of fighting against your friends, but it was obvious that their friendship with you was getting harder and harder to maintain. After the game, they had completely ignored you – your current friends in Shiratorizawa advising you that it was just the heat of the match.
But you knew better and simply kept walking away as they ignored you.
The men’s team was able to defeat Aobajōsai in only two matches – Oikawa’s bitter glare and Iwaizumi’s tense frown being sent directly into your own heart.
In the end, everyone deserves to win.
But there was only one winner in the end – you mused. Taking one last look, Oikawa not greeting you this time when he saw you at the line-up, you walked away from the match and back downstairs to the lobby.
It was just too much for your heart, all at once.
You sent a text to both third-years the next day: I’m proud of you guys! Don’t let Ushijima get you down. Iwaizumi answered within minutes, thanking you for the encouragement and even complimenting you on your jump-serve, since he caught a glimpse of your game.
Oikawa never answered.
Back at school, the coaches for both the men’s and women’s team allowed a rest-day on Friday’s holiday – Family Day – claiming that everyone needed to take a breather and that they had earned it from their win.
GroupChat: Caw Caw SHIRATORIZAWA ୧༼ д ͡༽୨
11:23 From: Captain-Sama!
congrats to all !! ✿♥‿♥✿
11:23 From: Captain-Sama!
may your crops be watered and your skin is clear
11:23 From: Coconut-head
thank you!! And for you as well ٩(♡ε♡ )۶
11:23 From: Ushiwaka-sama!
thank you I am checking my plants now
11:23 From: do you know da wae
I have exactly one succulent
11:23 From: the most tender Salami
lmao thanks b
attached:oikawameme.jpg
11:23 From: Kenjiro (`へ´*)
why must you call plants that @doyouknowdawae
11:23 From: do you know da wae
y
11:23 From: do you know da wae
are you jealous of my good succc ??
11:23 From: Kawanishi ✩꒳✩
LMAOOO
11:24 From: the most tender Salami
holy shit
11:24 From: Kenjiro (`へ´*)
fight me
11:24 From: Kawanishi ✩꒳✩
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
11:24 From: the most tender Salami
(f/n) gives me hope for our meme legacy :’)
11:24 From: do you know da wae
i gotchu bby boo
11:24 From: do you know da wae
maybe I’ll even bring you back food from break
11:24 From: Captain-Sama!
am I the only one staying on campus for family day? :’)
11:24 From: Not-my-libero-Yamagata ( ´ ▽ ` )
myself + Shirabu are staying as well
11:25 From: do you know da wae
aw guys I’ll bring some of my mom’s oyakodon when I get back!
11:25 From: Not-my-libero-Yamagata ( ´ ▽ ` )
thank you!!
11:25 From: the most tender Salami
my food is now forgotten :’)
11:25 From: Captain-Sama!
you live closer to Karasuno and Seijooo, right?
11:25 From: do you know da wae
yaaaas
11:26 From: Captain-Sama!
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
11:26 From: the most tender Salami
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
11:26 From: Kawanishi ✩꒳✩
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
11:26 From: do you know da wae
｢(ﾟﾍﾟ)
11:26 From: Captain-Sama!
don’t think we didn’t notice your little exchange with one of the freak quick kids
11:26 From: do you know da wae
oh
11:27 From: Kenjiro (`へ´*)
(f/n) cant have other friends ??
11:27 From: the most tender Salami
oh come on we all know they shared
11:27 From: the most tender Salami
the look
attached: hearteyes.jpg
11:27 From: Not-my-libero-Yamagata ( ´ ▽ ` )
oh no the matchmaker is back in business
11:27 From: Captain-Sama!
oikawa then kags are you hiding any other setters ??
You were lounging on your bed during common hour, hesitating in your next answer and trying to decide if you were either going to mess with everyone or just end it there. But, you always loved sowing some seeds of discord with your favorite volleyball nerds. Typing in…
11:28 From: do you know da wae
im actually in love with one of the miyas
11:28 From: the most tender Salami
gasp
11:28 From: My only Okaasan/Eita
he can jump up his own ass
11:28 From: Ushiwaka-sama!
he is a good setter
11:28 From: Captain-Sama!
but a complete douche
11:28 From: Not-my-libero-Yamagata ( ´ ▽ ` )
I do not approve
11:28 From: the most tender Salami
that’s how you know he’s that bad, yamagata doesn’t ship it
11:29 From: Coconut-head
attached: ???meme.jpg
11:29 From: Kenjiro (`へ´*)
＼| ￣ヘ￣|／
11:29 From: Kawanishi ✩꒳✩
who the fuck
11:29 From: the most tender Salami
third from left
attached: InarizakiHigh.jpg
11:29 From: do you know da wae
tbh didn’t expect anyone to know who that was
11:30 From: the most tender Salami
lmao sweetie we live and breathe vball
11:30 From: Captain-Sama!
also unfortunately he was at a vbc camp with some of us
11:30 From: the most tender Salami
I’d rather approve of you with oiks
11:30 From: do you know da wae
lmao nah
11:30 From: Captain-Sama!
these RECEIPTS would beg to differ
Attached: oinkawa.jpg; jointpractice.jpg; bakawa.jpg
11:31 From: Kenjiro (`へ´*)
holy
11:31 From: the most tender Salami
I knew it was true love
11:31 From: Kenjiro (`へ´*)
where is everyone’s chill ???
11:31 From: Ushiwaka-sama!
you will be a nice Shiratorizawa couple
11:31 From: the most tender Salami
LMAO
11:32 From: do you know da wae
why does this keep happening
11:32 From: do you know da wae
only kenjiro understands me
11:32 From: My only Okaasan/Eita
ive known waka forever and even I don’t know why he’s like this with Oikawa
11:32 From: Kenjiro (`へ´*)
its bc we’re the only normal ones
11:33 From: Ushiwaka-sama!
I’m not with Oikawa, he doesn’t even go to Shiratorizawa
11:33 From: Ushiwaka-sama!
a mistake in itself
11:33 From: Captain-Sama!
IM SCREAMING
11:33 From: the most tender Salami
wakanda forever
11:33 From: do you know da wae
LMAO I was thinking that too but decided against texting it
11:34 From: the most tender Salami
wait a second
11:34 From: the most tender Salami
kenjiro x (f/n) >.>>>>>>
11:34 From: do you know da wae
lmao don’t even
11:34 From: Kawanishi ✩꒳✩
lmao well
11:35 From: Kawanishi ✩꒳✩
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
11:35 From: do you know da wae
we all know that if that if kenjiro’s girlfriend hears this she’ll literally shank me
11:35 From: the most tender Salami
lmao true
11:35 From: Kenjiro (`へ´*)
she doesn’t even like me
11:36 From: do you know da wae
what a lie
11:36 From: Kawanishi ✩꒳✩
hard retweet
11:36 From: Captain-Sama!
we all know the alpha ship
11:37 From: the most tender Salami
oikawa x (f/n) x kags
11:37 From: Captain-Sama!
LMAO
11:37 From: do you know da wae
end me pls
11:37 From: Kawanishi ✩꒳✩
oof didn’t know you were into that
11:37 From: Kenjiro (`へ´*)
they can definitely do that for you
11:38 do you know da wae
…
You rolled your eyes at their antics, conversation on constant haywire. But you would not have it any other way. Most people would look at your school, the simple name and already have connotation to others. Yes, you were a powerhouse school. But that did not change the fact that you were all teenagers, just like everyone else. And with it came the continuous antics of meme-lovers.
Throwing your phone back on your bed and turning to look out the window, you were happy to have a day to yourself to finally make sense of everything happening. You were proud of your win at the Interhigh Tournament, no matter how bitter or lost your friendship had become with the people you were once the closest to.
Your texted your parents about the three-day break for Family Day and they had immediately pushed for you to come back home, where they would hold a celebratory dinner along with some other families they were close to and invited. You told your roommate about it and how embarrassing they were, but she countered that it was a sweet gesture, since she held a close relationship to her own parents as well.
“They’re just proud of their little girl, that’s all!” She teased, grabbing your head into a small nuggie. She was much taller than you, a middle-blocker who was still serving as an alternate.
Most of the other members of the team were also heading home on Thursday night, eager to visit their homes and parents and finally have a home-cooked meal after being away for half the semester. You personally looked forward to your mother’s cooking and said goodbyes to your teammates after your last class on Thursday.
Your dorm at Shiratorizawa was much farther than your home, actually sitting between Karasuno High and Aobajōsai. You considered jogging the entire way, but it was a rare break and decided to give your body one as well (at least just for the weekend, of course). Coming off the train, you spotted the street sign pointing to the aforementioned high-school and heavily considered visiting the old-time friend and setter that you had yet to have a formal conversation with in a good two years.
You had some time to kill and decided that maybe it was not such bad idea.
You neared the school and heard the tell-tale sounds of sneakers and volleyballs being tossed about.
Standing in the already open doorway, you spotted several faces that you recognized from the Interhigh game still training. They wore serious expressions, studying their abilities very carefully and working to fix the kinks in what they planned to bring to the table.
“Japan!” You heard someone shout over the others, the owner of the voice pointing at you as they looked at you in surprise, before they ran over to where you were standing.
You waved at the orange-haired middle-blocker, smiling as you did so. “I remember you. Good spikes, little dude.” You complimented, patting the top of his head as he blushed at the physical contact.
You turned back to the gym, stopping the blush crawling to your cheeks as every male looked at you in genuine curiosity. You kept scanning, until finally seeing the setter you were looking for.
Kageyama was already walking up to you, smacking the head of the still sheepish middle-blocker and muttering hinata boke, before he greeted you in a neutral voice.
“(L/N)-san.” He stated simply, inclining his head as he did so.
“Kageyama-kun, didn’t expect us to meet again like this.”
You felt the looming presence of two behind you and turned to see two males peering at you with open interest. One of them, that was the taller of the two, asked toward you, “Eh, Kageyama. How do you know Shiratorizawa’s setter?”
You smiled at the two looming boys and answered, “We went to Kitagawa Daiichi together.”
The two held their hearts with open euphoric expressions, happy that you were even gracing them with a response.
Kageyama fought the urge to slap them on the head as well, before adding. “She helped me with my jump-serves when Oikawa had refused to.”
You just kept on smiling, unsure what to say or add when the boys before you had yet to say anything at all as well.
“You give me too much credit.” You countered, “You were a monster on the court the other day.”
Asahi silently studied your figure, distantly remembering your sharp jump-serve that he had gleaned from your match, it was something you were personally known for after all. A setter who was capable of shutting out the team from making any offensive plays to begin with – you really were one of Oikawa’s students after all.
“Nice to meet a senpai to our little monster.” The captain teased, offering his name – Daichi.
“What are you doing here?” Kageyama asked you, trying to keep his voice leveled.
“Both volleyball teams were given breaks until Monday, consider it a blessing for winning Interhigh.”
“Wah! I remember you.” Hinata, you recalled from earlier, stating. “You did that thing that Oikawa did to us. He went pow and was about to set and then boom it was a spike!”
You nodded, surprised on how truly enthusiastic and just all-around pure the small middle-blocker was proving to be. This was the same volleyball player who was part of the freak quick duo you had seen for the first time not long ago. Eyes shining with determination and an indescribable aura, it was a complete change to the young man jumping with joy in front of you now.
You turned back to Kageyama, “I wanted to see how you were doing. I saw your game and was just wondering…” You trailed off.
Kageyama hesitated, a small frown still evident on his visage. “We have practice now.”
You dropped your sports bag to the side, “Sure. I don’t mind helping out with jump-serves or something if you guys need it.” You paused at the silence, “It feels weird not having practice during the week anyway.”
“Jump-serve? Shiratorizawa?” The coach asked with a finger on his chin, before it morphed to a smirk. “Better make the most of it!” He directed to the group.
You felt the evident hesitation in the air, several of the older looking men simply looking at you with no words coming out. But that did not stop the little orange to bound up to you without restraint, eyes gleaming with anticipation at whatever question was being held behind those wide orbs.
“Do you mind showing me your jump serve?” Hinata asked with hands held up to his chest, excitement apparent through his lack of restraint.
“Don’t crowd her, boke.” Kageyama bit out, but you waved him off with your hand and a relaxed grin.
Offering a small smile, in hopes of softening some of his reserve, you took the ball that Hinata was offering you and glanced up toward the rest of the group. The moment your eyes came to, the older (you assumed) third-years, were ushering other members to get back to their own practice. A man with silver hair was pushing his younger ones to their previous positions, but it was obvious that their eyes were following you as you walked across the court.
“Stand back, little dude.” You motioned with your free hand as you paced further back past the line.
Holding the volleyball out with your dominant hand, you took a deep breath and launched it up into the air above you. Examining it with keen eyes, you smashed it forward, close to the outer corner of the other-side, but within the bounds.
“Uwah!” You heard his cheer of excitement from the side and turned to see a bright and eager smile.
It seemed that all the other commotion in the gym had stopped as you readied to serve, silence now much more evident as they took a full gander at you – the one capable and widely known for your monster serve. You felt eyes peering at you, but they quickly averted as you timidly looked around the room for yourself.
All but two pairs of eyes, both of which you were sure were burning into your head.
“Allow me to receive your serves!” You heard the voice from behind you, turning to see a male who was a shorter than you, with two-toned hair.
“Sure.” You muttered, surprised at the humble request of a libero you had heard so much of before.
This continued until the next rotation, a strange smile on your face from being on the other side of practice. Your coach knew better than anyone your strengths and definitely exploited your weaknesses when it came to your own practice. You distantly remembered having to do a cursed number of jump serves and, even though it was your forte, there were tears in your eyes for just how much you ached.
“Here.” An older man inclined a water bottle in your direction. “My name’s Asahi.”
“Thanks. Nice to meet you.” You nodded back in appreciation, slightly intimidated from his tall stature and rugged appearance.
Forcing yourself to steel your spine, you recalled how you were previously incredibly apprehensive around Ushiwaka, who turned out to be the biggest volleyball idiot on the planet.
“Something up?” You asked with a raised brow.
“Do you mind, walking me through your serve?” He hesitated in his request, making you inwardly surprised that a man so big and bulky, was coming to you so humbly.
Again, Karasuno seemed to surprise you.
You walked home with Kageyama after practice, floors mopped and nets neatly stored away. You were so used to your dorm at Shiratorizawa, the walk home felt familiar and yet distant – it was strange to you. The both of your homes were only a few streets separated from one another, you remembered from the walks home you would have together before in junior high. And you decided on spending the beginning of the walk together in comfortable silence.
Or at least comfortable for you.
Kageyama was inwardly struggling to say literally anything.
He remembered you as the type of person who hung around Oikawa and Iwaizumi, two people who often had no qualms in engaging in conversation. You had a bright smile, unlike his own.
And yet here you were, simply gazing ahead to the commute in front of you without a single word uttered. Kageyama had to stop himself from the physical nervous tick in his fingertips.
“I can’t explain it, but there’s just something different about you.” You stated, slowly moving your gaze over to the setter at the end of your sentence.
It was clear that Kageyama had no idea what to say, sputtering but no actual words coming out.
“It’s not a bad thing, not at all.” You raised your hands, waving them in defense. “Don’t worry, Kageyama-kun.”
“How can I not…” You heard him mutter under your breath, making you lightly chuckle at his words.
“It’s definitely a good thing.” You complimented, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder and making him instantly shy once again. “Why are you so shy, now?”
“What do you mean?” He raised a brow.
“It’s just me, no need to feel so tense.”
Kageyama hesitated, “Thank you.”
“For today? No worries, a small part of it was selfish since I wanted to see you.” You admitted.
You could hear his breath hitch, before he added okay.
“You’re such a blueberry, Kageyama-kun.” You laughed at his disposition.
“What does that even mean?! Boke.” His apprehension was quickly pushed aside at his frustrated words, making you chuckle at him even more.
You reached Kageyama’s home first, a sight you had not seen for yourself in the past year. Even when you returned back home, this was a little out of the way from your usual commute. But this was strange, it seemed completely the same no matter how much time had passed. It always just seemed…
… Empty.
You turned to Kageyama, “Are you spending family day alone, Kageyama-kun?”
“Yeah.”
You gauged his reaction, despite his rough exterior, Kageyama did not exhibit a hint of a frown or sadness at the answer. Rather, his response was rather plain – as if this occurrence was normal and not even disappointing to the setter anymore. This realization hurt your heart, having such comforting and supportive parents of your own, Kageyama deserved just as much.
Kageyama was used to spending his time alone, that much was evident.
“Would you like to have dinner with us tomorrow, for family day?”
He looked at you fully, apprehension palpable, but stated anyway. “Sure.”
You exchanged phone numbers as a formality, but saw that both of you had your previous numbers saved in each of your phones. It made you slightly happy, that Kageyama decided on keeping your phone number despite your time apart at different schools.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Kageyama-kun.”
“Boke, I’ll walk you.”
You tilted your head and pointed in the direction of your home, “It’s not that far–”
“It’s dangerous, you never know.” He interrupted, brisk words in evident contrast to his sheepish strides in front of you.
You just kept on smiling the way home.
“Would you like to come in?” You offered to which he nodded. You slid the door open and greeted. “Mom, dad! I’m home, I have Kageyama with me.”
“Come in sweetie, I’m in the kitchen!” You heard your mom’s voice, the sweet smell of her cooking fliting through the room and to your growling stomach. “Your dad is still picking some stuff up for tomorrow.”
You settled your bag at the end of the stairs before making your way over. “Hey.”
“Look at my favorite swan!” She wrapped her arms around your shoulders and then lightly squeezed your cheeks, “Now an official winner, too!”
“Mom, stop.” You grumbled, wrestling your face away from your ongoing embarrassment.
“Kageyama, good to see you too!” She greeted. “You’ve always been so tall – look at you now, all handsome.”
You laughed at Kageyama’s reddened face, no worries coming out of his goldfish expression.
Your mom continued, “I meant to stop by your home last week, I still owe your mom thanks for the calla lilies.”
“Oh. They’ll be back next week.”
Your mom paused, turning her head in question as she looked at the young man. With a newly determined face, she glanced at you and then toward Kageyama, “Would you like to join us for family day, then? We’re having a few people over and we would love to have you as well.”
“I already invited him, mom.” You stated, taking some dough off the table to eat as a small snack, which resulted in a large smack on the back of your head.
“Perfect.” Your mom assured, “I’m still cooking now, but you’re welcome to join us for dinner tonight as well.”
Kageyama backed-up with his hands raised, “I couldn’t barge in on (F/N)’s first night back with her family–“
You interrupted, this time. “Nonsense, Kageyama-kun.”
“Here, Kageyama-kun can help me with this little bit. (F/N) unpack your things upstairs and then come help set the table.”
You nodded, taking her orders without delay as Kageyama settled into the rhythm of your family.
“You were such a stern boy, back in Kitagawa Daiichi. I’m glad to see you’ve lightened up.” Your mother commented, passing the young setter some greens over the kitchen table.
By now, the meal was ready and the four of you, with the new addition of your father, were enjoying a quaint dinner to celebrate you finally visiting home after so long.
“Lightened, that’s a good word for it.” You added.
“There’s definitely a difference.” Your dad observed, “I was glad to see you’re still enjoying volleyball – still as gifted as ever.”
Kageyama paused, “You’ve seen me play?”
“Of course. There’s no denying the shock we still have when we see you serve. And that quick toss, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do it like that before.” Your mom replied, “We saw your game against Aobajōsai, there’s no doubt in anyone’s minds that you’ve grown as a person.”
“Game nearly gave me a heart attack – I’ll never get used to your brunette friend.” You dad pointedly stated toward you before turning to Kageyama, “But I’ll be honest, even though we’re closer to the Oikawa’s, I was rooting you.” He winked.
“Honey.” Your mom lightly slapped his shoulder with a smile.
“Of course, the highlight of the tournament for us was cheering our daughter on to her first official tournament win.” Your father continued, waving off her light admonishment with a grin of his own.
“Wait.” You saw the little hamster running in Kagyeama’s mind, “You watched the last few days of the tournament?”
“I wasn’t about to miss my daughter become champion!” You father bellowed, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Even if I have to use my vacation days at work, I would hate to miss something so important to her.”
Kageyama continued staring, eyes never leaving your father. There was no doubt that Kageyama lived and breathed volleyball, he loved it more than anything else really. But, his parents had yet to even begin to understand the dedication he had toward the sport. Kageyama could not remember the last time they had attended one of his games or even tournaments.
The expression on Kageyama’s face was so far-gone, it made you want to do something to comfort him.
Apparently, your parents thought the same way.
“You’ll definitely get ‘em next time.” Your dad motioned toward Kageyama. “Seriously, that quick attack you have – I’ve never seen anything like it before.”
“We’ll be rooting you on again.” You mom reassured Kageyama, offering a plate of meat toward the setter who was staring at them with wide eyes.
He took the plate with hesitant hands. That’s how you knew Kageyama was so surprised, the fact that he was even wavering to eat meat – his king of food.
“Don’t look so surprised.” Your father joked before turning to Kageyama fully with a serious expression, “We’re proud of you.”
You smiled at their words.
You knew your parents well, just as they knew you, but here they were being entirely honest. Your parents did everything they could to have you in a loving environment – and this required being honest with what they wanted and what all parties were feeling. Meaning, they were not dressing up their words to the silent setter.
They really were proud of him.
You put a comforting hand in the crook of his elbow, since he was sitting beside you. That seemed to snap Kageyama out of his stupor, his glazed eyes turning to you and then between your parents.
“Thank you.” Kageyama paused, “Really.”
This was probably the extent of his social ability, you inwardly joked before offering the plate back to your parents. The poor dude was close to exploding, you could tell, and tried to steer the conversation away from the setter before that happened.
It was strange to Kageyama, the effort your parents took in spending time with you or even just what you were interested in. Your parents commented that they always downloaded your games if they were broadcasted on television, eager just to see how you were doing or wanting to send you an encouraging text about something you had done during the match.
Kageyama really felt the love in your family.
Your father walked him to the door, once dinner and dessert was done. Offering a goodbye and a literal see you tomorrow. Kageyama felt guilty, even in the face of your whole family telling him it was no issue, leaving your mom no choice but to task him with bringing a small cake for the gathering tomorrow.
Kageyama put a hand on the gate to your house, looking back with a small smile before continuing on his walk back home.
You spent the next day preparing for the small gathering that night. You only hoped that your parents would not embarrass you later. Kneading dough and humming along to the song through the speakers, you spent the calm morning alongside your mother in the kitchen. Your dorm only had a microwave, since you were still an underclassman with no privileges to a kitchen yet. It was a great change to finally have a cooked meal.
You greeted the first family with a smile, unaware of the feelings of one in particular.
“Hey, glad you guys could make.” You started, turning to the side for the new guests to enter. The parents smiled at you, inattentive to the tension between you and their daughter.
“Good to see you, (F/N). Congrats on your win, as well.” The father greeted as he passed you.
You turned to your friend, “I haven’t really seen you in a while.”
“Our last two sets was three days ago.” She bit out, glancing at you briefly before walking into your home.
You had always worried about this.
You loved your friends; your time at Kitagawa Daiichi held a special place in your heart – but that was nothing compared to the continual animosity they held for your school. The rivalry between Shiratorizawa and Aobajōsai was not a surface level problem, it was one that was seemingly burning to the core of each blue-clad student. They wanted nothing more than to absolutely destroy you, even if you were their friend. And the fact that you were a forerunner in the women’s team’s defeat, it made them dislike you even more.
You could not withhold the long sigh that escaped you.
Your parents were always the type to participate in fundraisers or school events and, being a previous member of a strong school like Kitagawa Daiichi, meant that they were in constant association with other parents to kids just like you. You loved it at the time, since it was obvious display of their support for you and the sport.
But now, after leaving the life-track of your Kitagawa Daiichi friends…
It’s not that there were no other parents that yours could connect with at Shiratorizawa. But it was harder for your parents since most of the others knew each other from Shiratorizawa junior high – meaning they already had their tight knit clique of parent association friends. It was not like your parents did not try either, but they were just closer to the friends they made at Kitagawa Daiichi. It also helped that your home was closer to the schools as well. Which meant that…
Some of their closest friends were parents from your time in junior high.
Meaning most of those invited today were probably now attending Aobajōsai.
You had to stop yourself from slapping your forehead against the door.
Your home was littered with various families containing your friends – or ex-friends? They had never actually confirmed anything to you verbally – making you want to literally throw yourself out the window and down the street into the river and hopefully float down back to Shiratorizawa.
If not for your parents, you would have had no problems walking back to school today if it meant avoiding this.
Opening the door after the telltale sign of the doorbell, you nervously smiled before the caustic eyes of the Oikawa family. Tōru, along with his parents, older sister with her husband and son, greeted you at the door as you stepped aside for them to enter. The older Oikawa dragged you into a hug, claiming you’ve grown way too much and that she was proud of your recent win. Takeru handed you a flower and you recognized it from the nearby park.
You were most nervous of Tōru – his reaction to you after the Interhigh Tournament was unlike how he had ever treated you before. Even as a newly minted Shiratorizawa student, he still took the effort to catch up with you and even text you back. But since the tournament he had been ignoring you. Iwaizumi reassured you that it was nothing personal, it was just your school that inflamed him.
But it just made it all the more awkward to be inviting Oikawa into your home now.
The rest of his family made their way into your home, but Tōru took his time in taking off his shoes and stand in the foyer area alone with you, hazel eyes locking with yours and never turning away.
“You’ve always been an amazing setter, I hope you know that.” You started.
He blinked slowly, eyes making their way from the bottom of your shoes all the way up to your face. It felt like you were being examined, his intense stare and uncharacteristic quietness raking through every detail of your body – no wonder your fellow students at Shiratorizawa found him to be intimidating. Oikawa really could be if he tried and it hurt your heart that you were now placed at the completely other side of a friendship.
Hazel eyes narrowed when he reached your face, “I don’t need your pity.”
You grabbed his elbow before he could walk away, “It’s not. Tōru, you need to know that. You’ve always been an incredible setter I look up to and that will never change.”
Oikawa looked at you but said nothing. At least his expression was more neutral, rather than its previous hints of resentment.
“Take away the names, the labels, the stupid school colors – you’re an amazing setter. And you will always have a place in my heart as my first mentor.” You admitted, watching as his eyes slowly widened with each word.
You continued, “Which is why I hate to see you beat yourself up over this. You mean so much to me, to so many people – I just want you to treat yourself right.”
Oikawa closed his eyes, seemingly taking in all of your words and letting it process one more time in his mind. When hazel eyes were peering at you one more, he had a slight smirk on his face, but you could tell that it was morphing into a genuine smile.
“Thank you, (F/N).” He tugged on your hand his time, free arm coming around your waist to bring you into a hug.
You felt his head lean against the top of yours, relishing in the moment that you could be there for your older senpai, one that had taught you so much when you were first starting your beloved sport. There was so much you wanted to convey to him and your really believed in your heart that Oikawa deserved to go to nationals – but you were just happy that he was not mad at you anymore.
“I really mean that much to you, huh?” You could hear the telltale signs that Oikawa’s teasing voice was edging back and you lifted a brow as the setter spoke, “I knew Shiratorizawa couldn’t take you away from me. You really must love me.”
You rolled your eyes, Oikawa was coming back to you.
He lightly pushed at your shoulders, one arm still around your waist but the other holding you a good enough distance so that he could peer down at you.
“Please wait for me, for marriage.” He winked.
Immediately you were pushing his arm away and turning to hammer your elbow into his ribcage. Oikawa back away immediately, muttering a curse and yelling at your violent nature.
“You’re lucky Iwaizumi’s family left for vacation or you would’ve gotten a real ass-whooping.” You stated in a dead-pan voice, making Oikawa sigh at you and mutter true.
You were happy to have at least keep your friendship with Tōru, even if your relationships with your past female friends were nothing short of a complete garbage fire at this point.
The brunette led you by hand into the living room, where many of the others were already socializing. You could literally feel the gossip spreading already, prolonged stares at where you were joined at the hands with Tōru, the whispers between the older parents, and even his own damn sister taking one look and then winking at the both of you.
You attempted to flick his hand away, but Tōru simply chastised you for being a brat.
You had to fight the urge to kick his shins.
He took out his phone and the two of you posed for the picture, joined hands visible from the angle. You wondered if this would be worth the sudden death via Shiratorizawa’s roasting if Oikawa posted this to Instabook, but you figured he would not since you were still on tense relations with literally everyone (sans Iwaizumi) from his team.
Your savior came in the form of the doorbell, immediately springing away from the hazel-haired setter and to the last awaited guest. He still followed you over, leaning his side against the doorway as he waited for you to open the door.
“Glad you made it, Kageyama-kun.” You greeted, taking the box of food from his hands so he could take his shoes off.
“Thanks again, for inviting me.”
“No problem. Make yourself at home.”
Turning back to Oikawa, you could see he was standing at full attention now - posture haughty, narrowed eyes, raised chin, and a small scowl on his visage.
You wondered if there would be a fight today.
Kageyama lost to Oikawa and your friends lost to you.
What the hell were your parents thinking????
You led Kageyama back to the living room, the both of you standing awkwardly as the current Aobajōsai kids talked amongst each other. Oikawa stood the side, surveying the situation before tsking, then walking over to you and leading you to sit in the empty armchair while he leaned on the armrest. He placed a lazy arm across the back and you fought the urge to say a sarcastic remark.
It immediately became silent, parents conversing on the other side of the dining room, unknowing to the tense situation in the center of the living room amongst the young teens.
Tōru was making it pretty obvious that he was draping his presence all around you. First leading you by the hand and sitting very close to you, even encompassing himself around you via his arm.
“Since when are you so chummy?” One of the girls asked toward you.
“We’re just friends!” You immediately raised your hands in defense. Oikawa said nothing as he raised a brow.
Another one of them sputtered, “You’re friends with Oikawa, but you don’t even try with us?”
“That’s not true. I tried talking to you and you ignored me.”
You could tell she was growing agitated as she bit back, “Why should I even try? All you do is beat us – practice matches, official games, tournaments.”
“Well, I’m playing to win.” You said with a raised brow, unsure where they were going with this.
“But why couldn’t you even try to play to win with us?” She huffed, “I get it. You wanted to be on a team of absolute winners and obviously that does not mean us. You’re the one who walked away because we weren’t worth it, right?”
You tried to get a word in, but she raised her hand for you to stop. Turning her head away from you, it was clear that no matter what you said, she was not going to listen. You looked at the other friends you had from Kitagawa Daiichi, most frowning before averting their eyes from you.
One of them took one hard look at you, keeping your eye contact, before she got up and walked away.
You felt the pain pinprick behind your eyes, the small sign of indication that tears were building on your visage. Not wanting to show your weak state to people who obviously hate you at this point, you quickly stood up and made your way to the back-porch area. Oikawa attempted to stop you, but you finagled your hand out of his grasp as you left.
You leaned against the wooden railing, wondering just how fucked up the situation grew and how different it could have been.
It hurt even more knowing that her words were true. You tried so hard, your last year of junior high, to pass the entrance exam for Shiratorizawa. That was your main goal the entire time, get into your dream school and that will make you an absolute winner. You had never, once, considered going to Aobajōsai as something desirable. It was not your second choice and honestly not even your third (Itachiyama and Fukurōdani reserved those spots). Aobajōsai sat as your last choice, something you did not actually want to do since it was inferior in your view.
But for your friends, it was their main and only choice.
You would never regret going to Shiratorizawa, it was your school and just because they resented it, did not mean that you did not deserve the title of winners.
But it still hurt that they hated you thusly.
You fought the urge to scream at the sky, when you felt an awkward, but comforting hand on your shoulder.
“They hate me too.”
“They don’t hide it well, Kageyama-kun.” You turned to him fully, a wistful smile on your face.
“It seems… Oikawa still treasures you.”
“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, he can be a complete asswipe.” Kageyama smiled at this, “But he’s still a brilliant setter and someone I wish the best for.”
Kageyama leaned his arms against the rail, eyes still trained on you. “Why do you care so much about people who want nothing to do with you?”
“I hate that I care so much.” You admitted, “But they were my friends – I held a leadership position for two years, even as their captain goddamnit. My time with them meant so much to me and it just hurts that it obviously didn’t have the same impact.”
Kageyama looked at you fully, a wondering expression on his visage.
“Was it worth it? Going to Shiratorizawa?”
“If I could go back, I wouldn’t change a thing.” You stated. “You?”
“I would still go to Karasuno.”
“Really? King of the Court?” You teased and watched the angry tick form at his forehead, “You wouldn’t come to the school of swans and absolute winners?”
Kageyama had a grim smile, one that indicated that he was thinking hard. “Now, probably not.”
“Wait, really?”
“No.” He hesitated, “I think I can really grow with Karasuno.”
“That’s great to hear.” You smiled, “Then let’s continue to live without regrets.”
“I try, but I understand.” Kageyama replied.
“Oh?”
“I remember what it’s like to turn around and no longer see a team.”
You felt your heart sag, recalling the headlines of Kitagama Daiichi’s loss. “But that won’t happen on Karasuno, right?”
Kageyama looked down and smiled, “No. It won’t.”
“Good, ‘cause I’m still rooting for you.” You said as you winked, causing Kageyama to flush red immediately.
The two of you stood in comfortable silence until the screen door opened.
“Never thought I’d see you two together like this.” Oikawa observed from the doorway.
“It’s not like that.” You waved your hand to casually dismiss his statement.
Oikawa walked toward Kageyama, stopping only at an arm’s length from him. “Good, I’ll have you know (F/N) is waiting for me for marriage.”
You actually tried to punch him in the stomach, like a full-on solid right cross on the annoying brunette, but Oikawa nearly growled and maneuvered you instead. Now, your arm was twisted behind your back and you felt Oikawa’s chest against your spine. You were about to tell Kageyama that Tōru was joking and would get a formal ass-whopping from Iwaizumi when you let him know, but you heard another voice call from just inside the house.
“Oh, this is where you all were! We’re starting dinner, come inside!” Your mom urged.
The other students said nothing when you joined them this time, probably only since you were now in the presence of parents and real adults. Kageyama sat on your right while Oikawa was on your left, you attempted to include both of them in conversation, but it was obvious that anything either setter said would immediately set the other off.
“Kageyama, would you like some more meat?” You asked, turning to him with a hopeful smile.
“Why don’t you pass me that plate instead, (F/N)?” Oikawa immediately countered before he could even answer.
Oikawa snapped another picture at dinner, one with you alongside him and flashing a peace sign at the camera and Kageyama munching away in the background as he listened passively to the others.
After dinner you returned back outside to the patio with Kageyama, now joined by others as they flit through the house.
“God, I’m sorry this is so awful.” You stated as you stood alongside the porch, shoulders touching side-by-side.
“It could be worse.” Kageyama offered, “Thank you for including me.”
“Always.” You replied, “I know we weren’t exactly close, but I did miss you for what its worth.”
Kageyama hesitated, “You don’t have to say that.”
“Why do you say that?”
“No one missed me in junior high.”
You poked him in the chest and demanded his whole attention, “Well, I did.”
The both of you lingered there for the night. Catching up on lost time and for the various woes you had in high school. Kageyama was still quiet as ever, but still offered words not unkindly throughout the conversation.
It was nice to have one-on-one time with the setter. To think that even being from the same school, the times you were able to do this could be counted on two hands. You hardly ever sat down and had a serious talk with him in the past and any insight into the misunderstood setter had you hanging onto every word.
It was no surprise later that the Karasuno setter was the first to leave. You did not blame the pour soul since he was literally the most far removed from the families present (the next probably being you).
Walking Kageyama out the door and to your front-gate, you started. “I don’t know what it is with Oikawa and you. He’s almost as bad as Ushijima when he’s with Oikawa.”
Kageyama raised a brow, unsure just how the proper Ushijima could be anything but.
“Anyway, don’t listen to Tōru.”
He cracked a smile, “I never do.”
You lightly pushed his shoulder, “We both know that’s a lie.”
Kageyama just kept on smiling, not saying anything as he looked up at the night sky.
“Thanks for coming over. Sorry that literally everyone hates us.” You joked, “I don’t know when I’ll see you again, but stay in touch, okay?”
The little awkward bean nodded, but you could tell that this goodbye was incomplete. He offered a handshake, but that seemed too formal considering your friendship. You took the hand for a second, before pulling it and wrapping an arm around him into a hug.
“Get home safe, Kageyama-kun.” You murmured against his chest and felt the deep rumble that signified his affirmation. His other hand curled around you hesitantly, unsure in his actions as he tried his best to reciprocate the hug.
“Thank you, (L/N).”
Waving one last time, you saw Kageyama make his way down the street before he turned fully on his walk back home.
“I don’t remember the two of you being that close in junior high.” You heard Tōru’s familiar voice from the doorway. It seemed the brunet was constantly walking in and spying on your interactions with Kageyama.
“Maybe your judgement is always clouded around a certain blueberry.” You stated as you walked back into the house.
Oikawa rolled his eyes then placed a lazy arm around your waist, guiding you back inside.
“I don’t feel comfortable seeing my fiancé alone with my annoying kouhai.”
“Don’t you dare say that in front of the real adults.”
Oikawa chuckled at your vernacular, but his hand on your body only tightened. You looked at him with an inquisitive stare, then pointed to the offending limb.
“Are you going to be like this all night?”
“Why? Can’t resist me if I continue?”
You sighed before moving to poke him on the forehead.
He grabbed your hand quickly and pulled it close to his bodice, pushing you forward to lean further into Oikawa’s chest. Surprised at the action, he leaned his forehead against yours, eyes closing from the comfort of the close proximity. One arm was around your waist while the other was in your hair.
You and Oikawa had always joked around, but never had you actually flirted. But feeling his large hands on your body and the soothing beat of his heart under your own, it was strange.
Oikawa whispered against your forehead, “I’m glad Shiratorizawa hasn’t changed you.”
You leaned back to look him fully in the eyes and returned in a similar tone of voice, “Don’t let it change you either.”
Oikawa had a small smile at that.
“Don’t stop on my accord.”
You jumped in surprised and tried to spring away from the brunet immediately, who slowly let go of his hold and allowed you room to stand next to him, arms still touching.
“It’s nothing like that.” You started, but Tōru’s sister just smiled and walked away, muttering about young love.
The rest of the night was thankfully uneventful, Oikawa giving you space to converse with his fellow schoolmates and you spent time playing with Takeru, his cute little nephew. You made sure to keep your words guarded around the other parents, when they commended you for your recent win at the tournament. It was weird, to say the least, to accept the compliments and praise of parents who had kids on the losing side (and they were present too! oof). At least, if it seemed your Kitagawa Daiichi friends were about to spite fire at you, Oikawa was quick to intervene and even stand by your side.
You were sure to pass out once everyone left the house, helping your mom in some light cleaning but saving the shore of it for future you.
Turning to your phone on the nightstand, since your mom utterly refused for you to use it when guests were around, you spotted dozens of missed texts and fought the urge to groan aloud.
You scrolled all the way back to the first message.
GroupChat: Caw Caw SHIRATORIZAWA ୧༼ д ͡༽୨
23:11 From: Captain-Sama!
what the fuck
attached: instabook.jpg; screenshot.jpg;
23:11 From: the most tender Salami
looks like (f/n) actually took our advice and went with oiks and not miya
23:11 From: My only Okaasan/Eita
wait but what if they’ve been related this whole time?
23:11 From: Captain-Sama!
yeah it is family day
23:11 From: the most tender Salami
…
23:11 From: the most tender Salami
then that would mean an Oikawa actually does go to Shiratorizawa
23:12 From: Captain-Sama!
LMAO
23:12 From: Ushiwaka-sama!
this is not what I meant
23:12 From: My only Okaasan/Eita
we know, waka
23:12 From: the most tender Salami
but how can we confirm it
23:12 From: Captain-Sama!
(・_・)
23:12 From: Captain-Sama!
@kenjiro @kawanishi pls respond its urgent
23:12 From: the most tender Salami
@kenjiro @kawanishi help ive fallen and cant get up
23:27 From: Kenjiro (`へ´*)
they are not related
23:27 From: Captain-Sama!
I KNEW THEY WERE DATING
23:27 From: Kawanishi ✩꒳✩
lmao no way
23:27 From: the most tender Salami
I need more receipts
23:27 From: Captain-Sama!
I think my ship is sailing (´∀｀)♡
23:28 From: Kenjiro (`へ´*)
i don’t think so
23:28 From: Captain-Sama!
but they’re hOlDiNg HaNdS
You caught the gist of their conversation and scrolled down to the bottom, unwilling to read everything since you would have a whole hour to catch up to and with your sleepy eyes that just won’t do.
Without regard to whatever the last text was, you started:
00:57 From: do you know da wae
oiks is an old family friend
00:57 From: do you know da wae
my parents keep in touch w/ a lot of my ex-friends parents from Kitagawa
00:57 From: Captain-Sama!
oof sounds awk
00:57 From: do you know da wae
you have no idea
00:57 From: Kenjiro (`へ´*)
wait your celebratory dinner was w/ the ex-friends you just beat ??
00:58 From: do you know da wae
yeah…
00:58 From: Kawanishi ✩꒳✩
oof
00:58 From: do you know da wae
oikawa was the only one from Seijō willing to talk to me without the need to shank me
00:58 From: do you know da wae
and even then they made sure to verbally roast me at every opportunity
00:58 From: the most tender Salami
wow
00:59 From: Not-my-libero-Yamagata ( ´ ▽ ` )
we love you (L/N)!
00:59 From: Captain-Sama!
just know that we’re always here for you! ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)
You smiled then and offered thanks, before shutting off your phone and finally getting a good nights rest after such an awful day.
The next day at breakfast, you just smiled and complimented your parents for their thoughtful dinner and how it was a success – saying nothing about the tension between you and the friends you used to have. It was your final day home and there was not a single thing you wanted to do.
Most of the people who lived around this area went to either Karasuno or Aobajōsai and then was no point in meeting up with your current friends at Shiratorizawa just to have to go back home and then head back to school the next day. You cherished the meal with your parents, but both your parents had plans later in the afternoon. Your mom sensed your anxiousness and tasked you with small chores.
You finally were interested when she directed, “(F/N), Kageama-kun forgot his leftovers yesterday. Mind bringing them over?”
With a quick nod and changing into your outdoor shoes, you headed out the door and a few streets over to the Kageyama household.
The windows were shut and no signs of light were seen. Kageyama seemed like the type who would do anything to keep himself in top form and you wondered the possibility if he was out jogging or something.
Ringing the bell, you heard some movement inside until the setter finally opened his front-door in surprise.
“(L/N)-san?”
You lifted the container of food into his point of view, “You forgot to bring some food home last night.”
“Oh, thanks.” He took it from you and paused, “Would you like to come in?”
You nodded at his polite gesture and greeted with a familiar sight. This was not the first time you were in his home, but it surely seemed the same from the last time. Kageyama seemed like a clean, tidy sort and undoubtedly his parents were as well.
You noticed his family picture displayed proudly on the center coffee table, an innocent smile on Kageyama’s face as he was nestled between his two parents. It looked like a picture-perfect family, reflecting only questions as to what happened to them now.
“You know, I can’t believe that I have never met your parents.” You commented, looking at the picture and him following your gaze.
He hesitated before replying, “I’m not surprised.”
You looked at Kageyama fully, “What do you mean?”
“I don’t think they’ve ever watched me play.” He admitted, eyes on the floor at the sad realization.
“I’m so sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah.” He had a tense expression on, “But I like your family.”
“Thanks, they’re pretty embarrassing.”
“I..” Kageyama was hesitating in his words a lot, concerning this subject, you noticed. “There are no words to say how thankful I am toward your parents, for what they said and do.”
“Don’t worry about it.” You comforted, putting a hand on his shoulder. “They really are proud of you. And so am I, really. Believe me, great things are in store for you.”
That, in your mind, marked the notable shift in your relationship with Kageyama. Even after the weekend break for Family Day, you still were able to keep in contact with the setter. Previously, you were unsure where you stood with the King of the Court. But now with shared numbers and daily texting with one another, you were glad to have held your friendship with the blueberry.
Everyone was training for the Spring Playoffs, everyone’s distant goal of nationals constantly in mind. As the reining champions of your Prefecture, this was the time of year to prove once again why that was so. You were defending for three years straight, Ushijima standing tall as the prime representative of your school.
As the regular setter, you knew better than anyone the massive amount of pressure and training it took to get to this stage. And you made sure to prove it during the official matches.
You felt your heart physically break when Karasuno faced off against Aobajōsai. A school that even you had remembered as a fallen-powerhouse was now over-powering a longstanding rival of your own school.
Oikawa did not cry at the end of the game, but your connection to the older setter was enough to feel the pure anguish and annoyance that was raging in his heart. You wanted to just say something to the brunet, but when Ushijima rushed Oikawa after the match, you figured that it was probably not the best timing. (You also did not want to risk the wrath of the others).
You waited behind a pillar, listening to Oikawa and his unusually intimidating voice. Both alpha males turned and stalked in opposite directions and you fought the urge to call out to the setter. Rather than leaving it to another moment, one that would be much easier for him to ignore, you ran behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist.
He squeaked out in surprise, “Wha-”
“You deserve the world Oikawa and I know you’re meant for more than what this prefecture has to offer.” You interrupted before walking around to be face-to-face to him, “You’re going to stand on an international stage. And no one will be able to stop you there.”
He stayed quiet, eyes hard as they examined your own, as if he was trying to gauge how honest your words were.
“Besides, I wouldn’t marry a man who wasn’t prepared to take over the world.” You joked.
He cracked a small smile then, and slowly wrapped his arms around your waist. “Thank you.”
You smiled brightly, a hand on his chest while the other was on cheek, to full look at him. “I just want you to be as proud as I am about you.”
Oikawa looked away, turning to the side before returning his gaze back to you. “Why couldn’t you come to Aobajōsai?”
You were internally taken aback at the question and you were sure it showed on your face.
“I never asked before, I just accepted that my counterpart on the women’s team was on a completely different track.” Oikawa explained, voice a small whisper. “And it made me wonder how someone like you, who tried so hard against Shiratorizawa in junior high and still lost, did not even try to fight them.”
His voice was hard by the time the last few words came-out and this felt like an incredibly different Oikawa.
“You claim so hard that you care about us, about me.” Oikawa bit-out, “Then why didn’t you even try to fight for us?”
“I, everyone knew from the start-“
“You were the pillar of the team, the cog that made it run. You gave them strength and you knew that and you still left.”
You were sure this was something Oikawa had been waiting to get off his chest, a thought that had lingered for years apparently now, and were unsure what you could say to placate the remnants of your friendship with the setter.
“The fact of it all is that we cared to keep our family together even if meant not being an absolute winner.” Oikawa stated, a bruising hold on your waist now. You could not find it in yourself to push him away, “Which obviously, didn’t matter as much to you.”
“Oikawa, please.” You whispered out, unsure what you were asking for.
“Please what? To stop saying the truth or making you finally realize it?” His gaze was a predatory-kind, one you had spotted multiple times on the court and one that displayed an intimidating anger. “Are you really supposed to refer to your fiancé by his last-name?”
“Why are you being like this?” Your voice came out weakly and you barely recognized it.
“Why were we your last choice, (F/N)-chan?”
You pushed at his chest, but his hold did not budge and you were sure that your face demonstrated the absolute fear you had toward your friend of five years.
“That’s enough.” You heard the comforting voice of someone familiar along with multiple footsteps.
When you looked over Oikawa’s shoulder to see Semi’s confused one, it immediately hardened at seeing you so scared. He did not hesitate to push you two apart, standing as a shield in front of you between you and Oikawa as Kenjirō put a protective hold on your shoulder and Kawanishi scanned you up and down.
“What happened here?” You heard Iwaizumi’s voice as he rushed down the hall.
His best-friend, who knew Oikawa almost better than himself, saw the raging anger in the setter and for once and only once – it was aimed toward you alone.
The brunet took one last look at you, hard and piercing despite the addition of multiple people, before her turned away and walked back toward his team.
Iwaizumi did not leave immediately, looking at you with an apologetic disposition before following behind his friend.
“Are you alright?” Semi asked once both boys were out of eyesight.
You reassured them you were fine, but your voice could not even convince yourself.
“Oikawa might’ve been your friend, but he’s our rival now and he is trying to shake you before your final, don’t let him get to you.” Semi explained.
You nodded meekly, allowing Kenjirō to guide you back to the Shiratorizawa area. The others were quiet as you approached and you wanted nothing more than for the others to forget this ever happened.
“If only we could crush him tomorrow.” Tendou stated with narrowed eyes as he looked at your rosy nose and distraught eyes.
“Thanks, Salami.” You attempted a small smile.
“Ugh, I hate seeing you like this.” Tendou commented before putting a comforting hand on your shoulder and ruffling your hair.
Oikawa was right, to an extent. You and him had started on the same track, leaders of each respective Kitagawa Daiichi volleyball team and one of many victims to the Shiratorizawa streak. You had both felt the pure anguish of utter defeat, the fact that you had both tried your best and it still was not enough. And instead of following Oikawa’s track, you had chosen to attend the school that often broke your heart.
You wondered how long Oikawa had thought this but said nothing.
You were sure the bitter defeat was a large impetus to how he just treated you. But it still stung to know that was some pure honesty and truth in his words. You wanted the ground to swallow you up, to take away the memories of the last hour and stop yourself from seeing one of your close friends because one of your now many rivals.
Goshiki sat with you on the bus and made a point of keeping your mind off of what had just happened. It was obvious that everyone knew by now, from your captain’s reassuring stare and Yamagata putting a comforting hand on your shoulder, they were thankfully trying to keep their words guarded, at least. You smiled at the first-year, appreciative that he was trying so hard.
You saw from your peripheral that Kenjirō would often turn in his seat to check-in on you (it’s not like he was trying to hide it anyway). Yamagata offered you his spare juice box and Ushijima offered to pickup ice-cream for you on his usual night jog. It made you laugh at the offer, but accept it nonetheless since this was a rare occurrence.
Why do you care so much about people who want nothing to do with you?
Kageyama’s word rang in your mind and you thought, maybe, it was time to let Oikawa and the others go. Your heart ached at the thought, but you doubted that they shared the same sentiment about you. They weren’t staying up at night, losing sleep as they thought about you.
No, they hated you.
And when Iwaizumi texted you the next morning, you just said you were fine and it was probably for the best.
Besides, you had other things to worry about rather than people who cared nothing for you.
The next night was the finals between the men’s teams, Karasuno bringing Shiratorizawa to a full five sets, one that had you watching with baited breath. The crowds themselves seemed to have their own battle, cheering with their whole hearts to the point that you were sure you were rocking the stadium. You wished Kageyama good luck before the match, his face erupting in a rather obvious blush as his grey-headed senpai smiled and just patted him on the back. You did the same with Shirabu and Kawanishi as well.
Shirabu just smirked and Kawanishi patted your head.
Assholes.
But now you were seeing more emotion on each second-years’ faces than ever before. Yes, Shirabu and Kawanishi were salt squad and had no qualms using biting words or sarcasm. And yet the setter was much more expressive, displaying even fear and surprise as the game went on. You felt your heart surge when you saw Kawanishi get a serious face on, eyes narrowing as you saw the little hamster in his head run at full speed, guess-blocking working at it’s peak form now.
Kageyama was no exception, acting as one of the main conductors of the game and even having to sit out from his diminishing stamina. His jump serves were much better than during the Interhigh, you wondered if you should give yourself a pat on the back or kick your own ass for helping him against your own team.
But there was no doubt in anyone’s mind, while the team of Karasuno was strong through their constant attacks and teamwork – it was Kageyama who was standing out the most during this game.
Hinata and that blond middle-blocker were interesting players, but your eyes always gravitated back to Kageyama. From his jump-serve that had even your powerhouse school on their toes to his resilient efforts to keep playing despite exhaustion, Kageyama kept your attention for the entire duration of the game.
You wondered if Kageyama’s parents were present.
You were not sure who to cheer for. Ushijima proved his unending stamina, earning point after point even when it was obvious that it was getting tiresome. It made your own shoulder hurt just looking at him. Tendou showcased the true power of the guess-blocker, eyes roaming the shorter setter with keen eyes.
All of this came to a crashing end.
21-19
The absolute winners were retiring.
Everyone was tasked with one-hundred serves, even the women’s team who had their own finals in a few more days.
Shirabu and Kawanishi were tenser than usual, you noticed during class and again during lunch. Shirabu’s not-girlfriend attempted to placate his mood with ice-cream, but she later iterated to you that in the end he just needed a long hug. You tried to do the same to Kawanishi, who simply took it in pure silence as he reciprocated the gesture.
Tendou was seemingly placated when you gifted him a home-cooked meal from a recent care-package from mom, but you knew the third-year well enough that his dark paradise was a hole in his heart that could never be replaced. Ushijima was hard to read, but nonetheless thanked you when you had given him a small cactus.
The men’s game put your nerves more at odds, despite how much you were trying to hard it with a strong face. Karasuno, a team that rose from nothing to become the team heading to nationals, they were able to beat the indomitable champions of Miyagi. It made your stomach churn at the possibility of losing to your long-term rivals at Aobajōsai.
The day after the game, everyone could observe your anxieties and had decided that maybe you needed some good luck help from home. You used to always have a ritual when you were particularly nervous and that involved a certain dish you mom made as a charm before big games and it also helped to have the words of your parents affirm your confidence. Your coach agreed to this idea, spying your shaky hands and unsure moves in practice.
Before home you stopped at the Kageyama’s, Tobio answering the door for you.
“Just wanted to say congratulations.” You greeted before taking something out of your bag. “I remember you used to love these milk cartons in junior high, so consider this a celebratory gift.”
“Thank you.” He had a small smile, one that you were sure he was not even aware of. “I’m glad you’re not mad at me.”
“Why would I be?”
“Shiratorizawa...”
“Is just a school.” You interrupted, thinking back to your ex-friends from Aobajōsai, “We all love volleyball and it’s time we all accepted there can only be one winner.”
He nodded at your explanation.
“Besides, you should come watch me win our spot to nationals.” You winked, “Me versus Seijō. It’ll be one hell of a game.”
“I know you’ll do great.” Hearing a compliment like that from Kageyama, it was strange. But you smiled anyway. “What are you doing in the area?”
“Ah. I’ve been getting nervous from seeing your game, honestly. So I was allowed to go home tonight for a good luck charm and to help calm myself.”
“Nervous? But you’re not playing us.”
“I know that!” You rolled your eyes in amusement. “But Shiratorizawa has always been considered as the winners. And no offense, nobody saw your win as possible. But you did it anyway. And the same thing could very well happen to us.”
Kageyama lightly poked on your forehead. “Boke, focus on the fight in front of you. You’ve always won against them, right? In practice matches and last tournament, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Then use it to your benefit, but don’t get complacent.”
You paused and smiled, “Thank you.”
“Would you like to come in?”
“As tempting as that is, I have to get home to my parents and then head back to school.” You looked at his house once more, “Are your parents home?”
“No.” You frowned, but said nothing and waited for him to continue. “Neither of them have been, for a few days.”
“Have you heard from them?”
Kageyama turned away, “They don’t even know I’m going to nationals.”
You put a small hand in the crook of his elbow, “Would you like to join us for dinner?”
“Sure.”
Since then, the match between Karasuno and Shiratorizawa was spurning you on, the thought of further rivals exciting you rather than scaring you now. You could not deny the fact that seeing both your parents and Kageyama had lightened your spirits.
And, not for the first time, you pondered over your strange relationship with the young setter.
You were not as close to him as you were to Oikawa in the past. And yet Kageyama was the one who tried just a little bit harder to hold onto you than your brunet friend. You could not deny the slight attraction you felt toward the blueberry as well, his shy and blunt nature something you were akin to. If anything, you knew better than most how much Kageyama had changed in the last few years.
But you had bigger things to worry about now.
Like going to nationals.
You relished in the slight burn in the palm of your hand at your untouched jump-serves, success rate higher than usual. And when you stood on the court itself, the name Shiratorizawa echoing as it cheered through the stands, you felt pride course through your veins.
When both Shirabu and Kawanishi wished you luck before your match, you felt the need to knock their heads together like coconuts. They tried to do it in the chillest way possible, muttering it to you with their hands in their pockets. You watched Tendou roll his eyes from behind Shirabu. Instead, you tugged them both into a hug before either could be too cool to refuse it.
Ushijima patted you on the shoulder and reiterated the tips he had given you in the gym the day before – it seemed Waka was actually watching you intently and you thanked him for his observance and helpful advice. Goshiki offered you a thumbs-up and Tendou patted you on the head for the nth time, but you smiled at both. Semi and Reon stood to the side with genuine smiles, since neither were particularly close to you, but you appreciated their presence anyway.
You were placed in the front line, your team’s starting position opting for the most attack options in the front row. The women’s team for Aobajōsai was similar in that it was a complete team, but a team not as good as Oikawa’s.
The synergy and trust between the setter and Iwaizumi was not something that could be replicated, only earned through more than a decade of true friendship. Rather, the women’s team lacked the power necessary from their ace and it was easy for a team as skilled as yours to pick up their serves defensively. Shiratorizawa relied on the power of their ace – and for a team with the best volleyball players in the Prefecture, it was a winning strategy.
Once you were rotated to serve, the entire stadium was separated from you mentally. It was just you and the game in front of you, not the loud shouts of Seijō or the pressured looks from your older captain. You let it lose, scoring with a single touch on your serve.
A no-touch service ace – a feat only you were capable of throughout the entire game.
You relished at the cheer of your name, the powerhouse clout proven when seemingly the entire stadium erupted in your name. It was a skill you had alone, not even your older senpai’s capable of scoring on a no-touch ace. And yet you did it multiple times. You spotted the clenched fists of your previous friends and their glares in your direction. But that did not deter you from your goal as you served with your entirety.
You glanced at the scoreboard, only one more point and you would be the reigning victor.
A deep breath.
In only three sets, it was over.
You were going to nationals.
Everything after that was hazy – you remember your ace literally picking you up. She was a good ten centimeters taller than you and built like a complete brickhouse, so that definitely helped. You remembered bowing to both your current and previous friends, but not a single one of them took your hand to shake at the lineup.
If you were still unsure of your relationship, it was quite clear that they hated you now.
The men’s team, sporting their similar tracksuits, clapped along in the stands as you thanked the audience. Your star-struck facial expression must have been obvious, since your fellow teammates kept poking at your cheeks and teasing your appearance.
“No touch service ace!” Your ace yelled aloud, grabbing you in another hug and lifting you like a trophy for the second time in the last ten minutes.
“You are an absolute monster, (F/N)!” Your captain commented as she laughed, arms in the air as she celebrated as well.
You felt the congrats and praise of everyone around you – your stoic coach even smiling in your direction (a small act of praise, but that was probably the best you were going to get). You felt the murmurs of the crowd around you, an immense audience that had just watched you singlehanded slam a ball away from an entire team.
It was liberating.
You along with a few others walked out from the courts, wanting to get some air away from the ruckus at the center of it all. Some wandered to the bathroom and others wanted to immediately run to their significant others.
You wandered out in the hall and the first non-teammate you ran into was a familiar brunet, running and hugging him from behind.
“(F/N), I will break your bones and make a chair out of them.”
“Shirabu, take me out to dinner first.” You joked, arms never leaving his middle even after he turned around towards you. “Come on, I just won. Grant me this?”
Shirabu rolled his eyes, but did eventually return your hug, ears suddenly red at the endearing gesture. “You serve well.”
“Thanks, maybe I’ll give you some private lessons.” You winked, earning you a push to your face immediately, putting a good foot between you and the other setter.
You laughed, the sound echoing through the hall and earning a small tsk, signaling that you two were not the only ones in the near-empty hall. You saw Shirabu tense in your peripheral, before he stepped in front of you between you and the other man with his one arm raised as if it was a protective wall.
He had his chin-up, arm on his waist as he regarded you with narrowed eyes and a dangerous expression.
“Oikawa.” You started.
“Congrats on your win.”
“Thanks.”
“Five points in the last set were yours alone, meaning twenty percent of the win was just from your serve.” Oikawa started explaining and you were unsure where he was going with this. “That’s without counting sets to the ace.”
“I suggest you leave.” Shirabu interrupted Oikawa’s external train of thought.
The brunet ignored him. “And who did you learn that jump serve from?”
You swallowed lightly, “From you.”
“And yet it was greatest weapon used today.” He narrowed his eyes, letting it travel your form as you stood there with a tight expression. “If only I had known then.”
“Let’s go, (F/N).” Shirabu stated, eyes never leaving Oikawa.
“Go ahead. I hope you think of me each and every time someone praises you on your jump-serve.”
“That’s enough.” Another voice cut in from the other end of the hallway, “She won today and not even you can take that away from her.”
Oikawa narrowed his eyes at Kageyama’s appearance before turning to you, “Of course, this is the one you actually care about.”
“Tōru, stop.” You bit out, voice stern at this convening of setters.
“Oh, cut that out. I played a part in who you are today, you and I both know that.”
“Of course, I know that!” You exclaimed as you move to stand right in front of him, “The part you played in my life will always mean something to me, but you are not the same Oikawa I grew up with right now.”
Oikawa tsked before biting out, “Good luck at nationals.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Of course I do, dear fiancé.” Oikawa emphasized the last word, shrugging as he turned to leave the way he came.
“Whatever, it’s not like you can relate to nationals anyway!” You yelled as he walked away, watching him physically hesitate at your words, but never uttering another word toward you.
Kageyama’s eyes followed him until he was completely out of view, before he turned to you. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, that was nothing.”
He looked as if he did not believe you, blue eyes hanging onto your appearance for a second longer before turning to the quiet Shirabu. The brunet was examining you also, eyes trained on your blank expression as if you were trying hard to convey that you were okay.
“I should freshen up or something before the ceremony.” You started, “I’ll see you in a bit. Thanks for coming Kageyama, in case I don’t see you later.”
You fought the urge to bite your lip as you ran in the direction of the bathrooms. This was supposed to be your day. The culmination of all your hard-work as you finally earn your rightful spot to nationals, it was supposed to be a day where you cheered and were happy at being at the frontlines for a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
And yet.
You opened the door to the women’s bathroom and came face to face with the vice-captain of Aobajōsai. Or as you once knew her in junior high, she held the same position while you were the captain.
“This isn’t over.” She immediately snarled.
“I know.”
“I hope you know that I hate you.”
“I know.” You stated in a low tone, pushing past her and into the bathroom. She huffed, silently observing you as you washed your face in the sink.
“Then do something!” She yelled, “I hate you so much I feel like I can just rip you limb from fucking limb! You were my best-friend for years and you still felt the need to leave!”
“I know. And I was wrong to diminish your feelings like that.”
“I… What?” She was still huffing, despite the confused expression on her face.
“You’re right. You guys were my closest friends since I first started school and I just… left.”
“Why are you saying this?”
“Because you’re right. I don’t regret going to Shiratorizawa, but it wasn’t fair of me to disregard all your feelings. I thought it was because of the rivalry between our schools, but it was because of me.” You sighed, “I’m sorry. I should’ve considered the fact that we were a family, but I’m not like Oikawa.”
She clenched her jaw but said nothing.
“I didn’t choose to stay with my friends, I chose for my future. And that was selfish of me, but I won’t change it.”
She sucked in a deep breath and stated, “I hate you.”
“I know.”
With a long-hard look, she huffed yet again. “Good luck at nationals, you bitch.”
You could not help the chuckle that escaped your lips, but she had already turned to leave out the door by the time you turned back to where she was. At least you had said your peace, there was nothing left for you to do if they could not accept even that.
The prefecture ceremony was a blur, names announced and cheers erupting at each team-member. You remember looking over to Aobajōsai on multiple occasions – it seemed they were all looking at you. No matter what was happening or who was being called, you could almost guarantee that a good amount of them were glaring in your direction.
It was liberating that you could brush it off, no longer as affected as you would have been even a week ago.
“Congratulations, (F/N).” Ushijima commended as he stood towering over you.
“Thank you.” You bowed, “Your advice really helped.”
He nodded, before turning to speak to other members of your team.
“Congrats again.” Shirabu greeted with a smile.
Kawanishi said nothing as he wrapped his arms around your middle for a quick second before backing away. “You earned it.”
You rolled your eyes, unsure if he was referring to the game-winning victory points or the ‘hug’ he had given you just now.
But you loved them all anyway.
They were your family now.
Your coach started practice the same as any other day, as if you had not just earned your way to nationals seemingly the day before. You wondered if you had just dreamed up the last few days, the real match taking place soon which is why you were training so damn hard. Your ace raised a brow as you were all instructed to do more jump-serves but did not grumble aloud unless face with another consequence.
When the entire team had finished their round, the coach gathered everyone into a circle to address them.
“Hopefully, the last few days have taught you the importance of the jump-serve.” Her eyes travelled the group until they landed completely on you. You felt multiple eyes of your teammates do the same. “You could completely shut-out your opponent with this attack, stopping them from ever connecting and letting them simply suffer defeat without ever touching the ball.”
You raised a brow at her morbid description but kept on listening.
“There is no doubt why (F/N) was named MVP of the match. But do not rest on your laurels, enjoy your break but don’t get lazy.”
The reaction was instantaneous.
“We have a break?!” Your captain exclaimed in obvious excitement.
“I’ll see you all on Monday.” Your coach stated vaguely, before turning and walking away.
“Hell yes!” Your captain yelled, “Let’s clean-up faster so we can get homecooked meals, yes?”
You felt the air of amusement and laughter in the gymnasium, happy to finally go home on this warm Friday evening, without the worries of practice over the weekend. Maybe your coach was not that bad after all.
And when you woke up mid-Saturday morning in the comfort of your home, guessing maybe around ten, you stretched and relished in the rare enjoyment of sleeping-in. Waking at nearly five in the morning every day, just to jog of all things, was taking it’s toll on you. You had to learn how to enjoy life more, you mused with a small smile.
Your mom knocked on your door before entering, “You have a visitor sweetie. I suggest you freshen-up. I’ll make breakfast for the two of you, but then I have to leave!”
“Ughisdfhis.” You murmured into your pillow as your rolled over.
“Or maybe I should just invite Kageyama-kun to your room so he can see how you really are.” She teased.
Immediately you were up, springing out of bed at the aforementioned name. You grabbed an outfit you packed the night before, rushing into your bathroom to brush you teeth and look presentable before the young setter.
By the time you headed downstairs, you were as clean and crisp as a bloomed daisy.
“Good morning, Kageyama-kun.” You greeted, “To what do I owe this visit?”
He greeted you in kind and explained, “I wanted to congratulate you like you did to me before..”
You walked over to him and suddenly a box of avocados were thrust into your view, quickly grabbing hold of it as Kageyama rushed in into your arms.
“I’m sorry! You gave me milk and I remember in a magazine you said you liked avocados! I thought…!”
You laughed at the sentiment, happy that he had thought about you but amused that he had resorted to the secondhand words of a magazine of all places. “Thank you, Kageyama-kun. I love it.”
“Are you sure? Because I can –”
“Stop worrying so much. It’s a present from you, of course I’ll love it.” You put the box on the floor and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Thank you so much.”
“No problem.” You were openly staring at him, eyes trained on his flushed appearance as he shyly attempted to look away from your strong stare. “Boke, stop staring at me.”
You chuckled, turning your gaze to the side before back to him. “There’s just something about you that I like, Kageyama-kun.”
It seemed as if he stopped breathing, expression similar to a fish out of water.
“Like, like-like?”
You chuckled, “What? Am I not allowed to?”
“No!” He seemed exasperated, hands raised as if to stop you. “No… I’m just surprised.”
“Why?”
“Oikawa…”
“Has only ever just been a friend.” You quickly finished the sentence for him.
“Or Shirabu…”
“Has a semi-girlfriend who would literally kill me.”
“Oh.”
You had a brow lifted, already expecting this surprised and unsure reaction from Kageyama. He was always socially stunted and did not hold it to him that he had yet to actually respond to your confession. Kageyama stood, wide-eyed and barely blinking, staring straight into your eyes as if looking for a hint of farce.
“I like you, too.” He stated plainly and if not for the seriousness of the situation, you would had chuckled at his solemn tone of voice.
“That’s reassuring to hear.” You responded, smile on your face widening.
“Are you sure you like me?”
You chuckled lightly, “For someone who claims to like me, it seems as if you’re pushing me away.”
“No!” Kageyama urged, “Just making sure, boke.”
You rolled your eyes, smile still prevalent at his words. This was the same Kageyama who was labeled as King of the Court – and for good reason too. He was relentless and exuded confidence in the one medium that barely anyone could match his all-around skill. There were times, as you watched him on the court, that you were utterly impressed with his abilities. And yet now..
It was clear that Kageyama was one thing right now: unsure. And you found the need to somehow reassure him, to let him now fully and transparently that he was the complete object of your affections.
So you stepped toward the now shy setter and took his hand in yours. Widely smiling, you were about to ask him something before he suddenly interrupted.
“Would you like…” He paused, looking to the side before turning back to you. “Would you like to date?”
“I would love to.”
He smiled back, tightening his hold on your hand. It was quite clear that the entirety of your own could fit in his palm – it was a nice feeling. Unlike the multiple times that the situation called for being your hand held, like with Oikawa being an ass or the occasional Shirabu (like when he was dragging you away due to embarrassment), this felt right.
“How about today? Are you free right now?” He asked, mustering more courage now knowing that you would most likely say yes.
“Sure, just let me get ready and we can get brunch.”
Your mom was not at all surprised when she returned, seeing you getting ready for your first-date ever. Kageyama was still waiting in the living room, hands clenched at the top of his knees while the television played ignored in the background. It was evident from the expression on his face that his mind was reeling over the past hour and over the implications of the next one. You were not the only one nervous, but this was Kageyama of all people, you understood him. If only there was a way for you to convey this to him.
Kageyama overheard your mom’s declaration of happiness at the situation and fought the urge to blush, was he that obvious? Your mother, uncaring of the rather uncomfortable setter sitting in her living room, walked out of the kitchen to shoot him a thumbs-up and ink. When Kageyama only blushed harder, your mom laughed and held out her hand, your father slapping an annoyed twenty bucks into her expecting palm.
“Don’t make me regret trusting you, boy.” Your father warned, a pointer finger in Kageyama’s direction as he was dragged away and out the house by your mother for ‘privacy.’
You shoved the door closed behind you as they left, back against the wood once both were gone. “Don’t mind them, they’re embarrassing.”
Kageyama smiled, then stood and hesitantly took your hand in his. “No, don’t worry about it. I love your family.”
You felt your own expression widen as it matched his, giving his hand a gentle squeeze in yours. “Thanks. Where to?”
Kageyama nodded, saying nothing as he guided you out the house and down the street. You had good idea about where you were headed, Kageyama was a man of routine and rarely strayed from his likes unless necessary, so simply entrusted your walk to him.
You peered up at his handsome visage, black mop of hair sitting naturally with a small rosiness dusting his cheeks. He was Kageyama obviously, but much different from the one you went to junior high with. This was a man weathered and you appreciated his journey from dictator to kind blueberry, happy to have seen his growth.
You lifted a free hand to push some of his longer bangs back behind his ear, the feeling unnatural to the poor setter, who immediately froze at the physical contact.
“You’re so cute, Kageyama-kun.” You complimented, before turning back to your route and lightly tugging on his hand to keep walking.
“Boke.” Breaking his stupor, Kageyama looked to the side and muttered in a low voice. “You’re the cute one.”
You fought the urge to laugh, but wanted to do something to reflect your feelings. You knew that a kiss would nearly cause the setter to explode and debated it as your stared at his lips and later at his cheek. Your train of thought must have been obvious, since Kageyama’s eyes widened unsurely.
Knowing you did not want to implode this poor boy’s heart, you took his hand in yours and placed a harmless kiss.
He was red the whole day.
#kageyama tobio#kageyama#kageyama headcanon#kageyama imagines#kageyama imagine#hq kageyama#hq x reader#hq x y/n#hq x you#hq fluff#hq angst#shiratorizawa#Ushijima Wakatoshi#oikawa tooru#oikawa toru#Iwaizumi Hajime#seijoh#aoba johsai#kitagawa daiichi#kageyama headcanons#hq headcanons#hq headcanon#hq imagines#hq imagine#hq scenarios#hq scenario#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyuu fanfiction
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Mystery Writer (Spencer Reid x Reader)
Summary: Spencer finds books at a second hand bookstore that are annotated and he falls the person writing the notes.
AN: This was part of a fic swap on @imagining-in-the-margins server! This is for the marvellous @definitelynotkatesblog <3 I really hope you like it! I had to delete the original post because it didn't show up in the tags. This will be staying up regardless of that now.
Masterlist
Your name: submit What is this?
“If you need anything, just let me know!”
Spencer pressed his lips together at the person behind the till before heading deeper into the rows of second-hand books. Familiar titles, old and new, printed on spines in various states of pristine/decay, they tempted him to select and bring them home with him. The clear sections between biographies and fiction guided him deeper into the forest, deeper into finding his way out. He was hoping to adopt one such book for a day off, when he could revisit it with a fresh eye. It would be like seeing an old friend again, remembering why they were friends in the first place with a hint of that initial read through from years ago, and perhaps he would learn something new in the process.
A dull ache in his chest at the sight of The Sign of Four by Arthur Conan Doyle.
But he had long since recovered from that heartbreak and he would be able to read this story without feeling that again.
Still. It had been several years since he read this book.
His nervous fingers plucked it off the shelf and the pages fell open for him. A flattened gum wrapper parted the pages like the Red Sea.
Spencer lifted it out tentatively. Its creases were ironed in from its role as a temporary bookmark, an impression of scribbled black ink flattened after it was made.
Spencer’s eyes scanned over the page in search of what this gum wrapper might have been guarding.
“Women are never to be entirely trusted – not the best of them.”
In the margins was scribbled:
Product of the time, but still a prick, rude smartarse role a bit dull
Spencer found himself exhaling in light laughter. That a lack of empathy was considered “dull” by this person, when it was something he dealt with in his job almost every day. The confidence in this commentary too, this brazen critique of a much beloved fictional character was left for someone else to find.
His gaze found Watson’s opinion of Holmes’ casual sexism: “atrocious sentiment”. It was circled twice in the same black biro.
Spencer dug his thumb against the text block and flicked through the book. A waft of that book smell lifted from the paper, accompanied by the bold notes of the previous owner dotted across the text until he finally landed on the reverse of the front cover. Two letters – initials - were scratched onto it.
It was with bridled exhilaration that Spencer approached the till and held up the book with a half-smile. His hands were quick to place it down on the counter so that the shop assistant could type the price into the till. His mood was apparently palpable because they seemed just as happy as Spencer to hand him back the novel in a brown paper bag – the receipt tucked inside.
--->--->--->--->--->
“Love is an emotional thing, and whatever emotional is opposed to what is true, cold reason, which I place above all things. I should never marry myself, lest I bias my judgement.”
What a lonely existence and also a lie. See: entire relationship w/ Dr. Watson!
Spencer smiled at this comment. Now all the other instances of a double underlining made sense. Each one produced itself in his mind as evidence that Mr Sherlock Holmes did in fact love. Maybe not marry, but it would have been terribly unconventional for him to wed Doctor John Watson. The unknown author seemed to understand this. They never emphasised if this love was platonic or romantic.
But the way in which they proved love existed within this character oft portrayed as emotionless, Spencer simply adored. They were a romantic reader, who still enjoyed reading about the cynic
He grew quite aware of his posture in that moment and he straightened his back. A few clicks of complaint emitted as he stretched, his head twisting from side to side. Screwing his eyes open and shut behind his glasses, he revisited your deduction.
On the dot of the “i” in “lie”, there was a sprinkle of graphite around the indent from where a pencil’s lead had snapped from the effort put into topping off this point. A sprinkle of graphite smudged where the pages pressed together.
Spencer moved on to where a sentence in black biro tried to blend in with the printed words. A memory appeared at the front of his mind: when Rossi was bewildered to learn Spencer and Dr. Alex Blake wrote the newspaper crossword in pen.
The pencil markings were like mini brainstorms, something to revisit and make a solid theory with the black biro. But the planning was never rubbed out.
Little quotes were circled. This mystery critic spent half the book roasting the characters and the other half leaving little exclamation marks and circles around phrases and words when they couldn’t think of something to say. Spencer found it sweet, picturing the thrilling unfolding of events for the reader to revisit.
His heart ached in bittersweet memory as he recalled the contents of Dr Alex Blake’s book The Route of Linguistics. It was necessary pain to create a profile of who this mystery critic was. Yes, he was profiling out of work hours. His evenings were now spent trying to picture the voice behind the notes. The sarcasm, the witty blows to the character’s and author’s ego. He almost wished that he couldn’t read so fast because he finished the book, even with its additional notations, all too quickly. But there was one bonus.
Spencer traced the pad of his fingertip over the exclamation marks describing Mary Morstan. What else might a detractor of the great Sherlock Holmes read?
--->--->--->--->--->
He had returned to the bookshop in favour of adopting another. Yet he could not find one that satisfied his unknown criteria. It was not until he found himself checking the front pages of the fifth book he had selected, that he realised he was looking for a pair of initials.
Sighing, he placed My Dear Bessie, with its empty front page, back on the shelf.
The chances of finding another book containing this mystery critic were so minute. He could probably calculate them if he wanted to dedicate himself to such a disheartening statistic. He’d rather not spend his lunch break doing that, as much as he loved statistics. This once, they did not assure his safety and he remained unsupported by the fact that he could not find any other Arthur Conan Doyle books.
His desperation became most apparent when he thought that perhaps fate should just decide for him. If anything, he would come away with a random book to read through in about ten minutes on a flight back home.
He peeked around the corner of the shelves. The shop assistant at the till was busy writing something down, not paying any mind to the shop’s only customer.
“A random shot had no better odds than just picking books off one by one” is what he told himself as he closed his eyes and placed his fingers on the end of the shelf, just over the first book’s spine. In an “S” pattern, his arm moved up and down, over the books and shelves and gaps between units. His feet stepped forwards into the space he knew was clear.
Spencer stopped and opened his eyes, his finger shifting just an inch out of the way of his new book’s title.
Circe. Madeline Miller.
He tapped the top and the book fell forwards, where he caught it. Its shining dust jacket was serving its purpose, a few tears along the edges from where it had protected the hardcover. He checked the front page. A map of Aiaia in orange and brown filled it to the corners. On the next page, his heart stuttered at the sight of two initials in the same handwriting and the same biro. There was also a scribble - invisible to start with then a ball of black.
The first page with the story’s text held a scribble just above its opening line:
the power of the name
“When I was born, the name for what I was did not exist.”
He could see that the first was in a blunt pencil, but the addition was a sharpened point carving into the paper. A secondary thought that was provided after completing the novel, they had added it. Spencer lifted it to his face, his eyes crossing to keep the stipple in focus. The scent of the paper and the graphite reached him easily; the note must have been made just before Circe was gifted to him. How lucky he was to find such a treasure.
The shop assistant was cutting out a new sign for “BUY ONE GET ONE HALF PRICE!”. By the time Spencer made it to them, the sign was placed upon the pile besides him. The shop assistant smoothed out a crease on the dust jacket, ineffectively but Spencer admitted the gesture. He was glad that someone who loved books as much as him got to work in a place like this.
--->--->--->--->--->
Spencer’s mind, definitely for worse, echoed the words off the tabloids around his head the split second he made eye contact with the headlines. He paced the shelves to somewhere a little quieter. When he found the chocolate aisle, he pretended to peruse. Ever half a minute or so, his gaze drifted up to the till area where the shop owner was on a phone call and clearly not paying attention to him.
It was not long before Spencer grew bored of looking at KitKats, and he pulled out One Thousand And One Nights. The book’s pages fell again to page 57. This shop’s receipt stood above them, still holding its place from the previous owner. It felt wrong to part the two.
No new people had entered this corner shop for 8 minutes. He’d even given the time at the receipt’s end a fifteen-minute margin either side. Given that this mystery critic took a break from work at the same time on the same day of the week – and that they worked during the day – he should have seen them. Maybe he had, and they were that man in the baggy hoodie who stunk of weed. Probably not. Hopefully not. Not that Spencer was judging him for his… recreational activities. He just wanted the mystery critic to be someone he could realistically spend time with.
Just then, Spencer’s phone trilled annoyingly loud. He received a glare from the shop manager and Spencer sent an awkward apologetic expression his way before answering JJ quickly.
“Spencer, we’ve got a case. We need you here ASAP.”
His response was immediate. “Ok, be there in ten.” Hanging up, Spencer dithered on the spot then grabbed a packet of Cheetos. He’d been there for nearly twenty minutes; he had to get something.
“Three dollars,” the manager said before returning to his call. But not before he rolled his eyes at Spencer. Spencer dropped the bills onto the counter and dashed out before he could be offered a receipt.
--->--->--->--->--->
An outlier in the usual length of case work had passed by in five long days. Spencer hardly ever regretted the time he put into this job. Every unsub caught was lives saved. But the absence of his mystery commentator had been niggling at the back of his busy mind and he was glad to finally reunite with them on this long flight back.
From his satchel, he recovered the copy of One Thousand And One Nights and began rereading the notes to ground himself in the story. His focus lingered on the page as if he were reading it at the average 250 words per minute. It allowed him to block out the humming of the engine.
Spencer did not take his eyes off the page as he pulled open his desk drawer and popped a piece of overpriced gum into his mouth. Half-hearted reminders bounced in his head, from when he tried smoking and chewing gum to ease his cravings. The fruit flavour was very clearly artificial and it faded within six minutes. Why his mystery critic would pick such a pathetic packet of gum to chew, he didn’t know. But hopefully the fact of its flavour disappearing fast would mean they get through the packet quicker and buy another soon. Even if today, and the days before, spent in that shop did not lean in favour of that hypothesis.
--->--->--->--->--->
The Five People You Meet In Heaven was in the Recently Donated pile. It was near the top, slid towards the edge of the container after being placed wonkily on a copy of some sports autobiography.
Within the pages was more than Spencer could have ever hoped for. Entire paragraphs were circled, quotes underlined. A squashed mini post-it note tabbed the page and a whole paragraph was scrawled on it, about Tala. An arrow pointing to the underside, Spencer lifted the flap and saw more to read, like an interactive pop-up book that he’d gotten Henry for his second birthday. Spencer closed his eyes quick and snapped the book shut. He wanted to save it for when he was sitting comfortably, not while he was rushing back to work in time for JJ to get to her lunch break on time.
The shop assistant had just clipped the lid back onto a green highlighter when Spencer drew up to their counter. With careful fingers, he placed the book upon it.
There was a twitch of the assistant’s mouth; their eyes brightened. They looked like they wanted to say something, but something else held them back from making the first move. Spencer recognised it from his school days.
“It’s a good read.” He spoke after they had typed the price into the till.
“I know,” The assistant replied instantly, a relieved smile on their lips, “What part are you on?”
“I’ve already read it, but I wanted to revisit the passage at the diner.”
“Ahh, that’s a good bit. One of my favourites.”
Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed a fraction of an inch. His gaze dropped to the nametag on the left side of their chest. Y/N, their name’s first initial. It couldn’t be.
“What did you think about the final person, Tala?”
“Oh,” The shop assistant clutched at their heart, “I was an emotional wreck before and it hit me hard just as the rest did. So bittersweet to hear her forgiveness. It took me a few times to finish reading the end, but it was all worth it.”
He couldn’t be this lucky, to get this many books from the same person and to have them standing in front of him. Spencer didn’t believe in luck.
As he reached across for his new book, he turned over the cover, “Was this yours?”
Twisting their head around to read the publication details, the assistant – Y/N - smiled sheepishly at the initials. “Yes, and I’m glad to see it go to a new home.”
Apparently luck believed in him.
“But,” Spencer felt his brows knit automatically as he looked between the book and their previous owner, “You love it. I-I’ve seen your notes.”
A hand clapped over Y/N’s mouth, “Oh God, you must have. I mean, it wasn’t the intention initially, but I thought they might be a little entertaining for anyone who picks it up to leave them in there.”
“Oh, they were! I’d love to read more of your thoughts. Hear, hear them, if you wouldn’t mind.”
Y/N checked the door to the shop, still shut, and back to Spencer. They dropped their elbows onto the countertop with their chin in their palms. “What did you wanna know?”
From his bag, Spencer procured his – their – copy of The Sign of Four and flicked through the pages. So many places to choose, but he wanted to open with what had introduced him to Y/N’s analysis.
The pair put their heads together, leaning on the counter. Spencer could smell the chewing gum on their breath. Y/N never cut him off, and he never wanted to cut them off. There were little pauses at the end of each of their turns to speak before the other picked up where they had left off. Their voices leapt from secretive whispers to passionate orations of their favourite passages, rebounding evidence and analysis off each other like a bouncy ball. Spencer finally had a voice to put to the sarcasm, the one his mind had conjured long forgotten in the wake of Y/N’s enthusiasm.
The shop’s door swung open. Spencer leapt to attention as an older woman swept in, past the two of them towards the non-fiction section. Y/N adjusted their name tag, their back straight too. The clock behind the till announced that it was now twenty minutes after the end of Spencer’s lunch break.
Running on the rush of his hobby meeting a potential friend, Spencer asked, “Can I get your number? So we can talk more, maybe swap some more books, when you’re not working?”
His luck was still by his side as Y/N wrote out their number on his receipt, written in their infamous black biro.
--->--->--->--->--->
Spencer leapt over to the door of his apartment, took a deep breath, and unlocked it. Stood behind where it had been was Y/N and they too were still wearing the uniform from work. Their nametag was still on their polo shirt, the same spot that Spencer wore his FBI tag.
“Can I get you a drink?” He asked the second they made a step inside his abode.
“Tea would be great. Milk and one sugar please.”
And while he was in the kitchen, Y/N rushed over to the bookshelves, their eyes wide to take in Spencer’s collection. “Oh wow! You weren’t joking!” Their finger indicated to a hard cover copy of Mean Time by Carol Ann Duffy, “That’s one of mine. Well, yours now.”
Plucking it from the shelf, they opened it up. Spencer had written his initials beside theirs.
Spencer stuck his head out in the partition, “Ours. If we’re going to be sharing.”
Y/N stood on tiptoes, teeming with delight, their hands cradling the book with all the care Spencer could hope for in a fellow reader. Joint custody of their books and their passion? What a dream.
“I just have to write a little more about the epilogue, and I’ll be with you,” Y/N took their place on his couch. A pencil began scribbling away their thoughts onto the last few pages. Their knees were their desk.
Spencer finished brewing and placed the mug in front of Y/N, who mumbled a quick thank you to him. He joined them in writing his final notes. It slowed him down a considerable amount, but he was glad to take things at a casual pace, especially considering the way that Y/N almost broke their pencil as they scrawled out their thoughts for Spencer to hear later.
“Have you thought about the next one you’d like to try?” Spencer asked tentatively. He wasn’t so sure if Y/N would want to be interrupted.
Luckily for him, Y/N paused their stream of consciousness to look back at his books, “Hmm. So much to choose from.”
Stood up, their book left in Spencer’s care. They took a deep breath, closed their eyes and used their forefinger to draw a zigzag over the spines. Spencer felt that he was almost sick with joy.
Y/N stilled their wandering hand and opened their eyes, already drawing out the selected novel, “This one.”
“And what have you chosen for me next time?”
Y/N handed over The Butterfly Lion from their bag, “Ok, I can’t wait any longer, what do you think?”
They sat back on the couch. Their legs now hung over the arm of the couch, elbows either side and face cupped in their palms. The book rested in their lap. Shifting so that he faced them completely, Spencer returned to the first page and his analysis began.
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds x reader#my writing
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I’m Looking Forward Now 💖Thank you and good bye
So, it’s been a little over a week since Steven Universe Future ended…
I’ve been hesitant to write this, honestly, but I’m tired of holding myself back from properly expressing myself in fear of appearing overly invested in the media I consume, even in private. Writing helps me organize my thoughts and feelings, and I feel like these thoughts in particular may resonate with many, so I want to share them. I want to talk about what Steven Universe has done for me personally, both as an artist, and as a person.
I’ve been around since the day the first episode of the original series aired. I actually remember when Steven Universe was just a logo on Wikipedia’s “List of Upcoming Cartoon Network Shows” list, back when I was a freshman in high school. It piqued my interest, but when commercials finally dropped for it, I thought it was going to be bad because of the way marketing handled introducing Steven as a likeable character. There was still something about it that made me want to give it a chance though, so I went online and watched the pilot before the first episode's release. I was hooked immediately. I knew I was going to love it, and I did. I fell so absolutely in love with Steven as a character, and the world that he and the gems lived in. I became obsessed. I was always so excited for new episodes to come out. Little did I know what else it would do for me as I went through my adolescence alongside it.
As the show progressed, it was evident that what I wanted out of a western animated childrens’ cartoon was finally coming into fruition: this show was becoming serialized. There was continuity, there was plot, there was character development-- it was getting deep. It was pushing the groundwork that Adventure Time laid out even further (thank you, Adventure Time).
I will give credit where credit is due: earlier western childrens’ cartoons I grew up with like Hey Arnold, and Rugrats, among others, also touched on heavy topics, but Steven Universe was able to take similar ideas (and even more complex ones, concerning mental health and relationships) and expand on them outside of contained episodes and/or short arcs. These themes, which were a part of the show’s overarching story, spanned across its entirety. Continuity was rampant.
What did this mean? It meant kids cartoons didn’t have to be silly and fun all the time and characters weren’t just actors playing a part in 11-minute skits. Steven and the gems would remember things that happened to them, and it affected them and how they would function and play a part in their story. This was a huge deal to me as a teenager. I always wanted the cartoons I grew up with featuring kid characters to feel more. In my own work, I often felt discouraged when combining a fun, cutesy western art style with themes as dark or layered as anime would cover. I always thought it had to be one or the other because an audience wouldn’t take a combination of the two seriously enough, based on discussions I had with classmates, friends, and online analysis I read at the time. Steven Universe proved to me otherwise. This show was opening the door for future cartoons exploring in-depth, adult concepts. I felt so seen as a kid, and was inspired to stick with what I love doing.
I was actually very worried about the show’s survival. It was in fact immensely underrated and the fandom was miniscule. Then in 2014, JailBreak dropped, and it’s popularity exploded. Part of it was because of the complex plot and the themes it was covering like I mentioned, but also because of its representation.
I remember when fandom theorized that Garnet was a fusion due to grand, tragic reasons. Turns out, she’s simply a metaphor for a very loving w|w relationship. This was huge. I cannot stress how important it is that we continue to normalize healthy canon queer relationships in childens’ media, and Steven Universe finally was the first to do that proper. Introducing these themes offers the chance for a kid to sit there and ask themselves, “Why is this demonized by so many people?” I asked myself exactly that. Ruby and Sapphire were my cartoon LGBT rep. They were the first LGBT couple I ever ecstatically drew fanart of. I was dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia at the time, and they showed me that I was allowed to love women and feel normal about it. The process of overcoming this was a long one, but they played a part in my very first steps into becoming comfortable with my sexuality. I could go on and on about it’s representation in general-- how it breaks the mold when it comes to showcasing a diverse set of characters in design, in casting, and in breaking gender roles. It’s focus on love and empathy. Steven himself is a big boy, but he's the protagonist, and the show never once makes fun of his weight, or any other bigger characters for that matter. It wasn’t hard to see why the fandom had grown so large.
Fandom was always a joy for me. It was a hobby I picked up when I was in middle school, like many of us here did. I would always cater my experience to fun, and fun only. I only started getting more deeply involved in SU’s fandom when I had just turned into an adult. During the summer of 2016, between my first and second year of college, I drew for the show almost every day non-stop when the Summer of Steven event was going on and posted them online. This was a form of practice for me in order to become not just more comfortable with experimenting with my art, but also to meet new artists, make new friends, and learn to interact with strangers without fear. I dealt with a ton of anxiety when I was in high school. When I was a senior applying to art school for animation, I decided I was going to overcome that anxiety. I made plans to take baby steps to improve myself over the course of my 4 years of college. Joining the fandom, while unforeseen, was definitely a part of that process. I started feeling more confident in sharing my ideas, even if they were fan-made. I fell in love with storyboarding after that summer, when I took my first storyboarding class, and genuinely felt like I was actually getting somewhere with all of this. I remember finally coming to a point in my classes where I could pitch and not feel hopelessly insecure about it. I was opening up more to my friends and peers.
But this process, unfortunately, came to a screeching halt.
My life completely, utterly crumbled under me in the Fall of 2017 due to a series of blows in my personal life that happened in the span of just a couple weeks. My mental health and sense of identity were completely destroyed. All of that confidence I had worked for-- completely ruined. I was alone. I nearly died. My stay at college was extended to 4 and half years, instead of the 4 I had intended. I lost my love for animation-- making it, and watching it. I could no longer watch Steven Universe with the same love I had for it beforehand. It’s a terrible thing, trying to give your attention to something you don’t love anymore, and wanting so desperately to love again. I dropped so many things I loved in my life, including the fandom.
Healing was a long and complicated road. I continued to watch the show all the way up until Change Your Mind aired in the beginning of 2019, and while I still felt empty, that was definitely a turning point for me with it’s encapsulation of self-love. I was hoping James Baxter would get to work on Steven Universe since he guest-animated on Adventure Time, and it was incredible seeing that wish actually come true. The movie came out and while I enjoyed it and thought highly of it, I was still having issues letting myself genuinely love things again, old and new. It was especially difficult because cartoons were my solace as a kid, when things got rough at home. I remember feeling sad because the show ended, and not getting the chance to love it again like I used to while it was still going.
By the time Steven Universe Future was announced, I was finally coming around. I was genuinely starting to feel excitement for art and animation again. I wasn’t expecting there to be a whole new epilogue series, but happily ever after, there we were! Prickly Pear aired, and the implications it left in terms of where the story was going did it. I was finally ready to let myself take the dive back into fandom in January of this year. My art blew up, something I wasn’t expecting considering my 2-year hiatus. Following this, I was invited into a discord server containing some of the biggest writers, artists, editors, and analysts in the fandom. I had no idea there were so many talented people in the fandom, some already with degrees, some getting their degrees-- creating stuff for it on the side just for fun. The amount of passion and productivity level here is insane, and so is the amount of discussion that has come out of it.
I didn’t realize it at first, but it was actually helping me gain back the courage to share ideas. I lost my confidence in pitching while I was taking the time to heal, and graduating meant there would no longer be a classroom setting I could practice in. This group helped immensely.
I have made so many friends through this wonderful series, and I have so many fond memories talking to like-minded creatives, getting feedback and a myriad of sources for inspiration, as well as all of the memes and jokes and weekly theorizations that came about as we all waited on the edges of our seats for episodes to air. I needed this so badly, I needed to get back in touch with my roots, when I would go absolutely hog-wild over a cartoon I loved with people who loved it as much I did. Future has been a blessing for me in this way. I graduated feeling like I was back at square-one, but now I feel like I’m on my way again.
It’s 2020 and while I’m doing great right now, I am honestly still recovering from the total exhaustion that followed after graduating a few months ago, and finally leaving the campus where my life fell apart behind. Needless to say, watching Future was like looking into a mirror. Watching one of my favorite characters of all time-- one that grew up with me-- go through so many of the same things I went through not too long ago was absolutely insane to watch unfold. It’s such an important thing too, to show a character go through the process of breaking down over trauma and all the nasty things that come with it, and to have them go on the road to healing. Steven got that therapy. He wasn’t blamed. The gems were called out. The finale was everything I could have ever hoped for. The catharsis I experienced watching it was out of this world.
As I continue my own healing journey, I will always look up to the storyboard artists, revisionists, and designers that I have been following over these past 7 years, as well as the new ones introduced in Future. It's been such a joy watching these artists release their promo art for episodes, talk about their experiences working on the show, and post the work they've done for it alongside episodes airing.
Thank you Rebecca Sugar, the Crewniverse, and the fans, for making this such a truly wonderful and unique experience. Thank you for reminding me that I am, and always will be, an artist, a cartoonist, and a fan. Thank you, my followers, for the overwhelmingly positive response to my artwork. I have had so much fun interacting and discussing the show with you all again over these past few months. Steven Universe and it’s fandom will always have a special place in my heart, and it will always be a classic that I will return to for comfort and inspiration for decades to come. I am sad that the cartoon renaissance is over, but so many doors have been opened thanks to this show. I am so, so excited to see what this show will inspire in the future, and I hope one day I get the opportunity to be a part of that.
Goodbye Steven, thank you for everything. I wish you healing, and I wish Rebecca and the team a well-deserved rest. ♥️
-Cynthia D.
#steven universe#steven universe future#steven universe future finale#steven quartz universe#the future#i am my monster#good bye steven universe#thank you steven universe#crystal gems#garnet#amethyst#pearl#bismuth#lapis#peridot#greg universe#connie maheswaran#lion#su#suf#su future#art#artists on tumblr#illustration#tears#lineless
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