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#also because everything about him + the development of the plot and the way he reacts to it is completely unpredictable
allegorism · 1 year
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not people actually saying ‘guel would be a better protagonist’, i hope you all choke, just say that you all are misogynists
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stillfrownyclownlol · 4 months
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Gonna throw up If I can't talk about them-
Bunch of Aiden analysis under the cut because he's just SO OBSESSED CODED AND NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT 😭 (I will be very weird about it)
The way it's so doomed from the start. He's already so fascinated by her. It's in the little jump he does when she sits in front of him, like a secret they're both in on, like her sitting in front of him is some obscure way of her inviting him into a conversation.
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Why is he like this (not positive but not negative either)
He has such a cocktail of personality traits and, most certainly, mental disorders, and his own history that makes it so, when he's in love, that it WILL blow up in his face.
The fact that he's been homeschooled for his entire life- he has no idea. HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW. He doesnt realize that its not normal. of course he doesn't :( His parents obviously leave him alone for long stretches of time and he doesn't seem to mind this. He hasn't had the chance to develop his social skills at all-
It's why he's so, let's be real, creepy. Ash makes it very clear she's not interested and he just keeps worming his way into her life. He plots so that she'll go on the field trip, he follows her around, he goes to her fucking house on the first day. LIKE, HELLO? RED FLAG?
He's having evil thoughts here I swear 💀
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And already so quickly after meeting her he makes Ash his priority. He asks to sit next to her, he engages and makes an effort to talk to her. Tries to joke around with her. Gives her a nickname. Touches her. He's so touchy.
And defends her!!! When Tyler gets pissed at Ash, he honestly goes off on him even tho he KNOWS Ash can defend herself- and he's so...dark about it. There's a threat hidden behind his words. He's MAD here, right? Tell me I'm not crazy, please-
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He also very clearly has violence on the forefront of his mind 💀 He's the first one to actively attack the phantoms; not to defend himself, not to defend somebody else (well, he pulls Ash out of the way), but for fun. And he's disappointed when they don't scream. He's sadistic, he likes causing pain, it's something he relishes in.
I mean look at how he smiles!!! None of the other kids have such an...active ENJOYMENT in fighting the phantoms, but for Aiden, it's almost like he finds relief in it, some way to vent out his frustrations. He's eager for a fight, for a thrill.
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That's how Aiden sustains himself, he pretty much operates under "I'm here for a good time, not a long time." Everything he does gives him a boost of adrenaline, no matter the consequences. He got into a fight? Eh, who cares about all the bruises, at least it got his blood rushing. Broke a bone while doing parkour or smth? Whatever, the way his stomach dropped when he was falling as totally worth it.
It's a very dangerous mentality to live with, obviously. He's an adrenaline junkie. He's an addict. More than anything else, Aiden wants something that makes him feel alive.
And what makes you feel more alive than love?
Like not to minimise or anything but he's known her for like. 2-3 months- and he's already SO scared of losing her. Like I just don't think he would have had this type of reaction with anybody else besides Ben. He would have absolutely lost his shit if Ash 'died'.
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He's a straight up love junkie. He's obsessive. Nothing beats the high love can give you. It overrules everything else. If Ash (or whoever he's interested in) feels bad because of smth, he's done with it.
He LIKED dying. He LIKED the adrenaline rush. But he won't do it again. Not because he had some realization that he didn't want to die, that he still wanted to live and do things, but because Ash was upset. Because this, this rush of care from her part, the way she was so scared of him dying that she was shaking, nothing could fill the hole in his heart better than that. And now that he has a taste for it, he won't let go easy. He will keep on living- if it means Ash will be by his side.
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Which is a very dangerous position to put her in. Ash already feels responsible for her friends, and she doesn't even know that Aiden has "put" his life in her hands, not that it's her responsibility, because it isn't, but she will certainly feel responsible if Aiden does something FOR her.
Like He's so fucking obsessed and he doesn't even realize it- like look at how he sees her 😭 THE HEAVENLY GLOOOOOOW, LIKE SHES AN ANGEL AND HE THINKS SHE CAN SAVE HIM. BABY SHE CANT, YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOURSELF.
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He could spiral so fucking bad. He could do some absolutely heinous things. Because he just doesn't know. He doesn't know how to love truly, yet. For him love really is that rush of adrenaline, the knife carving out his heart, he could be putty in her hands, or her executioner. This love that can be so obsessive, that he NEEDS it to function, like its water, like its the air he breathes. Its a compulsion, a fixation, a longing that burrows into your very soul. Ash doesn't even know what she's getting herself into-
Godddddd, it makes me so sick/ pos, it's SO FUCKING INTERESTINGGGGGG. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.
I literally cannot function around this drawing 🫠
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The. The hand. That way he's grabbing her. He's pulling her back. Towards HIM. like "this is mine. And I'm not sharing." And that little fucking look in his eyes, he just looks SO fucking pleased with himself. And Ash looks so...resigned. they're so doomed-coded, i love them so bad.
I don't know how I was supposed to NOT make a killer au, when he's just...like that around her.
Love is a wonderful thing. But love is also cruel, it is vicious, it is possessive and obsessive, and it will leave carnage in its wake.
Romantic love is an obsession. It possesses you. You lose your sense of self. You cannot stop thinking about another human being. -Helen Fisher
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sunderwight · 3 months
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Crack SVSSS Mpreg AU where when Shen Yuan transmigrates in, the system impregnates him with the displaced soul of the original Shen Qingqiu.
For the purposes of this AU, we'll say that male pregnancies or trans men being pregnant in the PIDW universe are uncommon but not especially noteworthy concepts.
So now not only does he have to deal with recovering from his qi deviation and of course being pressed into the role of the scum villain from the novel he was just reading, he's also mysteriously knocked up, can't explain it, and doesn't even know for sure if the baby will recollect being Shen Jiu when its born -- and of course hate him for stealing the Shen Qingqiu life.
What's more, Shen Yuan can't bring himself to get rid of it, because he does have mixed feelings about stealing Shen Jiu's life as well. Even though he knows it's probably the best tactical move, and he doesn't even like Shen Jiu, and the system has said there wouldn't be any penalties because it wouldn't impact the major important plot milestones, he opts to just... keep it. And not think too hard about it.
Luckily(?) cultivators have a lot of control over their bodies, which means a pregnancy can last however long they want it to, so Shen Yuan doesn't have to worry about giving birth in a hurry. SJ seems fine in utero, stalling his development doesn't have adverse effects, so Shen Yuan just swears Mu Qingfang to secrecy and figures out how to keep his pregnancy at the early stages for as long as possible while he hashes everything else out. So apart from internal freak-outs, most of the early plot proceeds as usual.
Unluckily(?), this state of affairs changes when Shen Qingqiu gets infected with Without-a-Cure, as that makes it so that putting off the inevitable is no longer a viable course of action. He can't spare the extra energy and doesn't have the stability of cultivation required to mess around with his pregnancy anymore, so things have to proceed at a more normal rate.
Which means the other peak lords and the disciples on Qing Jing find out that Shen Qingqiu has been harboring a secret pregnancy for an undetermined length of time. Shen Yuan has to bite the bullet and use the amnesia excuse to explain his lack of insight to the existence of any other parents (he's surprised it works so well, because he doesn't know that the rest of the sect has already figured out he doesn't remember some things after his fever), which inspires a lot of behind-the-scenes chaos because everyone has ALSO figured out that Shen Qingqiu's amnesia seems to pertain to things that must have traumatized him in the past.
So if he's pregnant, and he lost his memories of how he got that way...
Well. Cang Qiong is now on the hunt for an attacker who might already be dead and doesn't actually exist.
But everyone agrees that Shen Qingqiu doesn't need to be troubled by these details, so if he's okay with not remembering, then they're okay with letting him not remember. The only one who tries to bring it up is Liu Qingge, and that's mostly in the context of wanting clues so he can track down the culprit and stab them until they are dead.
Luo Binghe supports the quest to find the persona responsible and violently murder them, but as a disciple he has no resources to actually go on some wild goose chase for a mystery rapist. Besides, he has more important things to do on the peak, like making Shizun's meals, keeping Shizun's house, and preparing to help raise Shizun's baby. Luo Binghe is not going to be the stepdad, he is going to be the dad who stepped up! (Binghe please cool your jets you're like fifteen you're going to give your future shizun whole new inner turmoil about whether it's possible to accidentally babytrap your own teenage disciple via immaculate conception reincarnation pregnancy...)
Anyway eventually baby SJ arrives, and Shen Yuan immediately decides to block all recollections of the childbirth process and never dwell on it again. Something happened, he's no longer going to think about it, oh look a baby! A potentially evil villain baby. With cute widdle toes and tiny fingers and a squished, grumpy baby face that gets all red when he cries...
Yeah. Despite his reservations, there's no way he's not getting attached.
He gets Binghe to help him pick out a name for the baby, partly because he feels terribly presumptuous when he actually knows this kid's real name (but he can hardly call his son "Shen Jiu"), partly to encourage Luo Binghe to have some fondness for the kid so that if he someday hates his old shizun, he might still spare his "son" from his revenge. Even though it's actually SJ's fault. Well, he's a baby now. He probably doesn't even remember anything! He sure does cry a lot! Would the OG villain cry and fuss and settle down only after being sufficiently cuddled?
Turns out, yes. Shen Jiu remembers everything from before his fatal qi deviation. He's just also still an infant. So what can he do but cry? And maybe pee on the beast and that body-stealing creature that has reduced him to this. He spends most of his early infancy waiting for someone to come smother him with a pillow, but the conspirators must want to keep him alive for some reason, because it doesn't happen. Instead he gets looked after and soothed and taken care of in a way he never has been. Also, his stupid baby instincts keep insisting that the creature which stole his body is actually the safest person in the whole world.
It's like a cruel joke. SJ finally gets the childhood he always wanted deep down inside, but the one giving it to him is some kind of monster.
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cutesilyo · 6 months
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the thing i really like about just for once in nerdy prudes must die is that it's best iteration of the musical within a musical trope that has become characteristic of the hatchetfield musicals
like both show-stopping number and deck the halls (of northville high) are catchy songs from in-universe musicals that were very much written to have plots that suck
and show-stopping number was so well-beloved because it is, frankly, a hilarious scene that robert manion put 100% into
but i argue that only just for once is thematically relevant to its musical and fully emblematic of the wants and desires of the character singing it
because what is just for once, as a scene? it's ruth singing a song because she thinks she's got a chance of doing it better. it's ruth singing a song about a character who looks back on the mundane miseries of her lonely life and — at the last second — remembering who she used to be before the pain set in. it's ruth singing her version of cooler than i think i am and reflecting on how she is perceived and wondering what it takes to break away from it. it's ruth singing right after she says, "in my dreams, i'm the star of the show."
of all the losers that max jagerman victimizes, only ruth says who she'd like to become beyond that. where pete can't even admit to liking steph at gunpoint and richie doesn't ever get the chance to verbalize what he wants, ruth gets on the stage in the few minutes of break time and just for once, the spotlight is on her.
and the really crazy thing about just for once is — it has the "i'm not a loser" motif. possibly the most iconic and important motif of the whole musical, it's the motif that starts the opening number. and here it is, in the silly musical within a musical by the silly character who has — until this song — always served as comic relief.
in the climax of the song, just for once is no longer the song of a character from the barbecue monologues. it's ruth's. in those few seconds, it's her lamentation of the life that max jagerman forced on her.
but that's the thing about the "i'm not a loser" motif. the way it functions in the musical is as a harbinger for max's violence. the police at the beginning ask, "what the hell happened here?" and its the motif that answers. pete is the first character that sings the line and is immediately beaten up by max in the next scene. then richie sings it and max kills him in the same song. when ruth has the motif running as the crescendo to just for once, it sounds absolutely incredible... and it should come as no surprise when max appears shortly after.
(as a quick note: you can also hear the motif after max makes the car crash, then max appears two scenes later. you then hear the motif in the cooler than i think i am reprise and max also appears right after the song. it's like max is instantly summoned by any instance of the losers trying to shake off the role he placed on them — of trying to defy him.)
tl;dr: the inclusion of the "i'm not a loser" motif in just for once makes it the big lipped alligator moment that wasn't. like yeah, it accomplishes its goal in being the funny musical within a musical trope! the character acting makes it a funny song, and its a funny character performing it! but it also furthers our understanding of ruth AND of what the "i'm not a loser" really is: it's the characters trying to develop past being nerdy prudes and max doing everything in his power to prevent that.
and it does all that while being a banging musical tribute to stephen sondheim and, especially, his song the ladies who lunch. which in itself is a massive flex on jeff blim's part. what a brilliant song in a brilliant musical.
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satoruin · 3 months
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➣ matchmaking or meddling?
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pairing: satoru gojo x gn!reader
word count: 1.6K
summary: you find out just how much your students have been meddling in your love life, though you can’t really be mad.
notes from lee: i’m afraid to make this look like an award acceptance speech so ill be brief. had to make a fic for the namesake of the blog and a very late hbd to boo (@2018-01-20). kinda wish i had more interactions with the kids, but i ended up w/ a lot of gojo pov also unedited
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Looking back it should have been obvious what these kids of yours were up to. Yes, they were the reason you were in this god-forsaken closet with a blindfolded fool.
You’re only really aware of their meddling now as you hear their snickers from the hallway, so you can’t quite tell when their meddling started. But it makes sense that they were plotting something, but was it in collaboration with Satoru? Because it seemed like every mishap or coincidence between your two classes, Satoru took it in stride and turned it into his advantage. Just like he was taking advantage of the situation now…
Thinking back, your first clue should have been with the sticky notes. A note scrawled on a pink sticky note, in actually legible handwriting, addressed to you like a valentine. Reading, “from: Satoru ;D to: (y/n) <3; do you look this good every day or do i just not remove my blindfold enough????” It’s on top of a stack of papers handed over by the ever-stoic Fushiguro. Surely to get your guard down, and it did.
When you interrogate your fellow teacher about it later, he keeps his normal all-knowing grin plastered on his face. Now they, being the kids who orchestrated it, don’t need to do any work as every day after that there’s a new sticky note somewhere for you to see. They vary in color, most in some shade of pink, some with bad pick-up lines, others with a stick figure drawing, or the very rare ones hidden away with words that make you spit out your drink.
Or maybe another tip off should have been the ‘coincidental’ times you’d have the second years out on the training field and he just so happened to also plan a demonstration for the first years at the same time. But then again you don’t hear their snickering above your irritation at the white-haired man as he lets you jab a finger into his chest, with his annoying smirk.
But they notice you don’t care anymore that he peeks his head over your shoulder to look at your teaching outline just so he can do the ‘coincidental’ planning now.
And still the biggest hint that you fall for every time, is when they leave you at the cafe with just Satoru after begging for a weekend meetup. And again, when they ask to have team dinners, study sessions, or extra training, it's ridiculous. Your gullibility and trust in them is commendable, but it’s become laughable as you still trust in the kids to show up. And they do, just in disguise from across wherever you are as they watch Satoru come to your rescue every time.
Maybe the more ridiculous part is when the rare glimpse of their teacher’s eyes is pointed, peeking through their poorly crafted disguises, at them from across the room with a smirk.
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He’s noticed for a while now that the kids are playing matchmaker, and their skills are much better than those his clan hires. And to be honest, he doesn’t mind, if anything he finds it cute that they think he needs the help. Though admittedly they do have some good ideas. Each one never fails to fluster you, in your own cute and angry way, as he takes over their schemes. His six-eyes catch the flurry of texts sent every time he does so, which he’s sure just encourages them further.
Satoru’s not quite sure when his feelings for you developed. He’s always found you attractive, especially when you were his cute kouhai (he still likes to call you that in order to annoy you until you begrudgingly call him senpai once again.). Everything he learns about you only adds to his initial interest. He’s a sucker for getting to know the little things, like your favorite dinner spot after a tough mission or what your ideal day off is. Once you accept his feelings he’ll put the knowledge you deem useless to good work.
But there’s a moment that sits so starkly in his memory as the first time he realized he was in love with you and not just intrigued or infatuated.
It was maybe around the time Tsumiki had gotten sick and though Megumi was self sufficient, Satoru didn’t feel that he should be alone. He knows he’s not the best at comfort, hell he could barely comfort himself, so he sends you.
And he’s not overly worried about you, you’re a teacher so he’s sure you’ll get through to the ever prickly Megumi just fine. Plus you’ve always been significantly better at handling emotional situations, he knows first hand. So when he comes to check on you after finishing his mission, he smiles at your success.
Megumi’s head rests on your lap, asleep, and you’re slumped over the armrest. There’s a twang of jealousy that pricks at his mind, wishing it was him in your lap instead, but all he can think about is having you greet him as he comes home and Megumi and Tsumiki sitting for dinner and that would be yours and his alone.
He’s never felt like someone that would settle down or want a family, especially given the circumstances of his status. But you, in this moment, make him want to move past the shrewdness of the higher ups and his clan, and just have you. He longs for something that is just his, not part of Jujutsu Society, the higher ups, or his clan, or even Satoru Gojo, he wants things just for Satoru, just for him.
You are that something, that someone, he wants, he’s convinced that he needs you like the air he breathes. The weird surge of emotions that have been kept bottled up since a dark day suddenly seems to make sense and it has a name, it’s love.
So when he’s reminiscing on his feelings, it really has been there all along, but it’s that very specific moment in which his love for you was defined.
And the apex of all his work in gently guiding you to realize your feelings, that he’s very sure are there, is in a closet of all places. His blue eyes glow dimly in the dark of the closet with the snickers of his students on the other side.
“Hey,” he breathes out, much less confident than he intended, but you make him nervous.
You meet his bright eyes briefly before looking away and returning the greeting, “Um, hi.”
His breath hitches and his mind blanks, every funny line or flirty remark he could make right now is gone. He can’t think about anything other than you, how cute your expression is, how good your hair looks even slightly messed up, but mainly your lips and how much he needs to kiss you before he leaves this cramped closet. “How are you?”
You blink at him incredulously, “We’re in a closet, Gojo. How do you think I am?”
He tosses his head back and groans as you use his last name, he thought he’d gotten you to call him Satoru like pretty much everyone did. “C’mon (Y/n), you know I hate when you call me that.” He whines and pouts, jutting his bottom lip out like a toddler.
He watches the guilt flash across your face briefly, surely it’s you remembering how he confided in you about hating the weight that came with his last name. “Sorry, I know. I know,” you pause and he senses your hesitancy and waits, “Satoru.”
He’s got a big shit-eating grin on his face that differs from his usual smirk as he rocks on his feet with his heart fluttering.
“You really like it that much when I call you ‘Satoru’?” You ask, eyeing up his body language with a skeptical look.
“Maybe.” He answers in a sing-song tone, he’s back to his usual self, “But you know what I’d like more?”
He leans in close and glances down at your lips. No matter how many times he does this, it always results in him pulling away with a teasing smile. So when he feels your hands wrap around the neck of his uniform and pull him closer, it’s certainly a surprise.
“You want a kiss?” You ask and he nods meekly, if possible, and you do, you kiss him. Satoru’s eyes flutter shut as his heart flutters in his stomach. His big hands reach up to cup your face and keep you glued to his lips. Gods, it’s everything he’s dreamed about and more.
When you part from him to catch your breath, he’s smiling. “I hope you know I want much more than a kiss.” He waits for you to breathe and to watch your reaction before smashing his lips onto yours again.
Satoru feels your arms wrapped around his neck and how your hands crawl through his undercut to tug at his hair. And he’s similar, the hands once holding your face have traced down your body to your hips so he can hold you close.
The knock on the door cuts your time short, your tongues and bodies having to part. Satoru watches as you smooth over your clothes and hair before he pulls up his blindfold. The door opens not a moment later to reveal the two classes waiting with bated breath to see something scandalous.
They are disappointed, fortunately for you and your image as a teacher. None of the students have the time to catch the heavy blush on his face as he slips away while you lecture them. But they do notice how flustered you are when you get a text from Satoru, “dinner 2nite?”
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ohmytyong · 1 year
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spin the bottle
part of @rrxnjun 's "the crush chronicles" collab
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PAIRING: childhood friend!donghyuck x female!reader (side pairing: friend!yangyang x friend!karina)
GENRE: college au, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, slightly angsty, coming-of-age, mc and hyuck grow apart and then become friends (or lovers!!) again, best friend!yangyang, best friend!karina, xiaojun and giselle are mentioned a couple times
WARNINGS: mentions of food, explicit language, alcohol consumption, mentions and use of drugs, smoking, vomiting, use of pet names (barely lol), probably a bit too fluffy at the end, the side couple is lowkey more interesting than the main couple (oops), super cliché plot line, not proofread (please let me know if i missed anything)
WC: 21,2 k (oops lol)
‣[PLAYLIST]: amusement park by baekhyun, can i call you tonight? by dayglow, on the way by nct dream, fallingforyou by the 1975
SUMMARY: you knew you loved lee donghyuck ever since you met him, when the two of you were little kids. you had become best friends and were practically inseparable. until one day, donghyuck had to leave town and he also had to leave you. however, your feelings for him only grew stronger and stronger and you knew you had to confess to him when you met him again in college. but all this time, you kept suppressing them and you were always left wondering one thing; if he ever loved you back.
A/N: wow i can't believe it's finally here!! i've spent months working on this fic and i can say i'm very proud for actually finishing it. thank you everyone for being excited for it and especially thanks to @rrxnjun and the collab call for giving me the basis for developing this idea <3 enjoy reading this fic and don't forget to give me feedback, it helps me a lot<33
read on wattpad / ao3
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You were five years old when you first fell in love. Or at least you thought you did. You could never know what falling in love meant at such a young age. But that’s how you want to describe it. Because your feelings for him could not be compared to how you felt about other boys. He could not be compared to other boys. That’s why you fell in love with him. But he didn’t fall in love with you. Or if he did, he never showed it.
Loud cheerful screams were the sound echoing in your ears, mixed with the soothing dreamy music coming from the merry-go-round ahead of you. The gate in front of you seemed ginormous in comparison to your small body. Rainbow fairy lights were climbing up the sides of the gate, confetti glued in between each one of them. White balloons were tied to the top and bottom corners of the pillars, leading up to the bright red and gold sign at the top which read ‘Welcome to Dreamland’.
Your eyes were roaming around the place, looking up to the sky and then left and right to the amusement park your mum took you. Soft awes and chuckles left your lips every time you spotted something new. Everything seemed magical in your eyes, the music and the colors transporting your little brain to different dimensions; this was indeed dreamland.
You stopped in front of the merry-go-round and inspected it. The blue, gold and white horses were moving up and down to the rhythm of the music, kids were riding them with cheerful smiles on their faces. You wanted to go there too. You looked at your mother to ask her to get on the merry-go-round. You opened your mouth when-
“Y/n! Y/n!” a cheery voice was calling your name. You stopped to look towards the direction of the sound, only to spot your best friend. “Yangyang!”
You let go of your mother’s hand and sprinted towards him, capturing him into a tight hug. “Wanna go to the horses?” you asked him eagerly.
“Yes! Let’s go” he agreed and your mothers helped you get on the merry-go-round. After all, it was your favorite.
You and Yangyang went on almost every ride of the amusement park. You loved bumper cars, you went on the ferris wheel with your mothers and went on almost twenty rounds on the kids’ roller coaster. You even tried to catch a teddy bear at the claw machines, but you couldn’t get the chance to do so.
After hours of trying all of the amusement park rides, your little stomach started growling and the smell of food everywhere around you only triggered your hunger more. You passed by the food canteens, smelling and taking in all the delicious scents. "What should I choose?" you thought. Just then, you spotted a stand with something strange looking; it was multi-colored fluff on sticks. Cotton candy. You had never seen it before, so you had to try it.
“Mum! I want to try this! It looks like clouds! I want the pink one!”
Your mum agreed and bought you and Yangyang one stick of cotton candy each, while his mum bought you drinks.
You went over to the tables to sit and eat your cotton candy. You sat down on a chair and took a bite. You didn’t know what to expect, but the sugary flavor definitely met those expectations.
“Wow, it tastes so pink! And it feels like the clouds! It's so fluffy!” your mother laughed at your excitement and agreed.
Yangyang was eating his cotton candy too, but he suddenly grabbed your hand and dragged you down the chair. “Let’s go for a walk. Mum, can we go for a walk?” he turned to ask his mother.
His mum shrugged. “Okay, but not too far from here, I want to see you” she said and we left, grinning.
Obviously, you didn’t listen to her. You liked the freedom you had at that moment, so you went strolling through the entire amusement park.
You and Yangyang were holding each other’s hand so that neither of you run away and got lost. Your other hands were holding the cotton candy. You felt so small among the other people and the huge amusement park rides, but you liked it. You felt at ease.
Yangyang let go of your hand and started skipped in front of you. “In the count of three I’ll start running and you will chase after me to catch me!” he said leaving you still.
“No! Yangyang, I can’t run fast!”
Yangyang didn’t listen to you. He smirked instead and started counting. “One, Two. Three!”
“Wait!” you yelled, but he had already run away.
You sighed and started running through the crowd too. You could still spot him in between other people, but you couldn’t run that fast and stumbled when taking longer steps.
Yangyang stopped and turned back to look at you. He smiled and yelled. “Come on, you’re almost there!” and resumed running.
You were breathing heavily, your feet were feeling sore, and you couldn’t move with ease through the crowd. You took a deep breath and gathered all your energy to run as fast as you could. Your only focus was to catch your friend Yangyang, who was now walking backwards looking at you with a smug expression. You had blocked out your surroundings entirely and didn’t notice that another boy was running too. And he was running towards your direction.
Yangyang was now standing, waiting for you to catch him. “I got you!” you shouted before you let out a scream and fell on the ground. The other boy was running fast too, which ended in him bumping into you. Both of you and the other boy fell down on your butts, the cotton candy you were holding was now smashed and dropped on the ground too.
“No! My fluff!” you frowned, tears already forming in the corners of your eyes.
Yangyang was shocked to see you fall. He came over to you to help you get up, smoothening your dress. “Are you okay Y/n? I’m sorry, I didn’t want to get you hurt” he was the one that sounded more hurt.
“It’s okay Yangyang” you reassured him. “But my fluff fell too! I wanted to eat it!” you whined.
Yangyang hugged you. “Don’t worry, we’ll buy a new one."
The other boy steadily stood up by himself. “I’m sorry, I was running too. I didn’t see you.” The boy said, his head lowered.
Neither you or Yangyang responded, so he lifted his head slowly to look at you. “I can buy you cotton candy if you’d like. Sorry” he apologized again.
But you couldn’t speak now either. He looked at you with sorrow eyes, plump lips forming a pout. You took a moment to really look at him. His skin was darker than yours, he was slightly taller than you, his bowl-cut covered his eyebrows, moles on his cheek and neck.
You didn’t know why, but you felt your stomach clench. You cleared your throat and spoke. “Don’t be sorry, I was running too.”
The boy nodded. “My name is Donghyuck. What’s yours?” he asked.
“I’m Y/n and this is my friend Yangyang” you pointed at your friend beside you and he flashed a bright smile to the other boy, Donghyuck.
Donghyuck smiled too and you felt your stomach clench again. “Do you guys want to be friends?” he asked and both you and Yangyang nodded. “Yes let’s be friends! Do you wanna go ride the bumper cars?” Yangyang said and grabbed both yours and Donghyuck's hands.
That’s the first memory you had of him. The first time you saw him, and the first time you've ever felt this weird clenching feeling in your stomach. This was a memory you would always cherish and always remember dearly. But you weren't really sure if he held this memory as close to his heart as you did.
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Beep. Pause. Beep
Why isn’t he picking up the phone? You had called Yangyang three times already. Where is he?
You put your phone in your pocket and grabbed the books you needed for your next class from your locker. As you locked it, an arm linked with yours and dragged you to the corridor.
“Are you ready for this new semester? I heard new students transferred to our department, they might be hot” your best friend Jimin was smirking, wiggling her eyebrows.
“Yeah they might be, but I have a class now and Yangyang isn’t here, I can’t cover up for him on the first day!” you complained.
“Oh come on Y/n, you know how he is. He probably slept in, he’ll be here, don’t worry” she said and you nodded.
You were walking towards your class, greeting a few of your old colleagues on the way. It was your third year of college already, but it still felt like your first day.
You and Jimin parted ways and went to your respective classes. You agreed to meet up later for coffee and lunch, after classes ended.
The amphitheater was almost full; you managed to spot an empty seat at the back of the room and hurried to sit there before someone else took that seat.
You sat down and placed the books on top of the desk. You checked your phone again and saw that Yangyang had now texted you.
[Yangles]
slept in. don’t save me a seat
ttyl :)
Typical Yangyang. You sighed and put your phone aside as the lecture was about to start.
For the next two hours, you couldn’t concentrate on the lecture because of the group of friends chatting behind you. If you were honest, their conversation was a lot more interesting than the lecture.
The girls behind you kept talking about the new students at the computer engineering department. You heard comments such as “oh he is so hot” and “they looked at me and winked”. Oh Jimin is gonna love the tea.
The lecture finally ended and you headed towards the coffee shop in which Jimin asked you to meet her. You sent her a text to let her know you’re on your way. As you were typing the text, suddenly an arm slung around your shoulder. So you let out a loud-ass scream. 
“Guess who’s here!” Yangyang exclaimed, a wide grin plastered across his face, eyes bright, his loud voice a bit too close to your ear. If you ever become deaf, it’s all his fault.
“Oh good morning to you too Yangyang, I’m fine thanks and you?” you said ironically and he rolled his eyes at your comment.
“Cut the ironies bestie, I met Donghyuck earlier” he said and your feet froze and stayed glued right where you were standing.
But you haven’t seen him in years. He moved out of town when you were fifteen, right before high school, because his parents found a better job. He had promised both you and Yangyang that he would call and maybe even visit you whenever he could. And he kept his promise for a while, but after things got tougher with school, his phone calls and occasional visits stopped.
Your stomach clenched. You gulped and removed Yangyang’s arm from your shoulder. “what do you mean Donghyuck is here?”
“I mean that Donghyuck is here” he said, rolling his eyes again, but his tone was serious. “He transferred to the computer engineering department. I came across him on campus and met his friends too. Real cool guys. He asked me about you too.”
“He did?” you regret speaking, because you didn’t expect your voice to come out that shaky.
“Um yeah, why wouldn’t he? He wants us to meet and hang out, just like the good old days. Are you free now?” 
“No, I’m actually meeting Jimin for coffee now. I was texting her before you scared the shit out of me” you said.
Yangyang laughed. “Okay, I’ll see you later then. I’ll tell Hyuck you said hi” he squeezed your cheek and left.
But you were still standing frozen, trying to comprehend what Yangyang just told you. Donghyuck is back. He is back and you couldn’t wait to see him again. So he does remember you. There must be a reason why he didn’t contact you all these years. People’s lives change, right? Does he still look as pretty as he did back then? Does he still care about you as he did back then? All these questions started forming one after the other in your head, but you couldn’t distract yourself from the clenching feeling in your stomach. In fact, these exact questions were to blame for causing you this feeling. 
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You were ten years old when you fell in love again. Not that you ever fell out of love. But at least now you were sure about your feelings. It wasn’t something you had made up; it was rather a confirmation that you had loved him ever since the day you saw him.
You had went to the park with Yangyang and Donghyuck. The three of you decided to do sports in the park; Yangyang took his skateboard with him and Yangyang took his bike. You, however, didn’t take anything with you; you didn’t know how to skate and you certainly didn’t know how to ride a bike. You just wanted to tag along because you had fun spending time with your friends.
But Donghyuck had offered to help you learn how to ride a bike. Yangyang bursted out laughing so hard when Donghyuck said that. “I tried to teach her how to skate once and let me tell you, I wouldn’t even think about teaching her how to ride a bike” Yangyang said.
Yangyang always found his way to make fun of you. He didn’t do it in order to be mean; it was anything but that. He liked teasing you because you would get annoyed and then he would apologize because he felt bad. “I didn’t mean it Y/n” he would say. “I know” you always responded.
But that day Donghyuck was present in this conversation. What you didn’t expect was for him to stand up for you. “Well, in her defense Yangyang” he started “skating is too hard. It needs patience both by the skater and the student. The bike is a bit easier to handle. I think Y/n can do it”.
Every time Donghyuck spoke about you, your stomach clenched. You didn’t know what it was about him that made you feel this way. Was it his eyes? His smile? His honey skin? His soft voice? His kindness and humor? The way he treated you? You didn’t know.
Yangyang agreed with Donghyuck. “You’re right, I didn’t mean what I said. Just so you know. I think you can do this Y/n” he said, his smile fading.
“Don’t apologize Yangles, I know you didn’t mean it” you said and his signature grin appeared on his face again.
You eventually learned how to ride a bike. Donghyuck helped you every time; he taught you how to keep your balance, held you every time you were about to fall and did it every day until you were finally able to do it on your own.
One day he asked you to go to the park to ride your bikes together. Yangyang said he couldn’t come because he felt sick. So it was just you and Donghyuck.
You always felt such comfort with him. He reminded you of a warm summer day in nature. His pure gaze felt like the sun rays hitting your skin, his plump lips seemed to be as soft as the cotton fields, his laugh livelier than the chirping birds. He was comfort himself.
That day the two of you went biking, you couldn’t help but smile at the way you felt. You felt free, independent, powerful. The world surrounding you was in a haze, the only sight you could see was him, the only sound you could hear was his voice.
But sometimes it felt nice not hearing his voice. It meant that he was at peace, and you were too. You had left your bikes standing against a tree and the two of you sat down on the grassy ground to just stare at the sunset. You both loved the sunset.
Donghyuck’s arm was resting on your lower back, his head leaning towards yours, which was resting on his shoulder. Sometimes, when you sat in a position like this, you would try to match your breathing with his. If you were to be honest, you would admit that it was quite hard.
Donghyuck’s gaze was set on the colorful sea of clouds ahead of him, You did the same. He didn’t turn to look at you when he spoke up. “You know, Y/n, at moments like this, I realise how much I enjoy spending time with you. You are truly the best friend I could ever have. I would never leave you, okay?”
The words he uttered at this exact moment confirmed that you sure loved him. More than just a friend. But you could never open up to him about this. He could never know. Not when he wasn’t feeling the same. Not when he didn’t keep his promise.
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Jimin was sitting at a coffee table near the window, sipping from a white plastic cup while texting on her phone. You skipped towards her and sat down on the chair opposite from hers. “Donghyuck is here”.
She put down both her cup and her phone and looked at you with furrowed eyebrows. “What? Don’t tell me he’s one of the transfer students” she said. 
“Well, apparently he is” you said. “Yangyang told me. They’ve already met. Plus, he asked about me”.
Jimin’s bottom lip dropped down to her jaw. “What?” she said again. “Okay, when are we meeting him? I need to have a word with him”.
You laughed at her reaction. “Stop it Jimin, I’m over him now. It’s been years since I had a crush on him.” you said.
“I don’t believe you. You can’t trick me with that. I won’t fall for it.” she said, her tone serious. “I know you dated and all, but you always compared everyone to Donghyuck. You expect me to believe that you moved on?”
You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Whatever” you said.
The two of you paused for a moment before Jimin spoke up. “Do you think he got even hotter?”
You laughed at her comment and playfully slapped her forearm. “Stop it Jimin!”. She was now laughing too. “I don’t know, okay? He might be.” you said.
“Do you want to see him?” Jimin asked you and your eyes shifted down to your lap.
You seriously didn’t know. A part of you wanted to see him, talk to him, hug him and feel him again, ask him about his life and interests, spend time with him. But a part of you was scared; scared that if you saw him, you would fall in love with him again.
“My guess is that you do. Come on, I missed him a bit too” Jimin said and you chuckled. “Now, how about we get you some coffee and you tell me about your day, hm?” Jimin asked and you nodded in agreement.
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The next day Yangyang insisted on picking you up from your dorm and driving you to your classes. He felt bad he missed the first day of the semester so he decided to make up for standing you up by driving you to class. You grabbed your phone to text him and let him know that you were ready but he beat you to it. He was already parked outside the dorm complex waiting for you in his car.
You opened the door from the passenger’s side and got inside the car. “Hey” you greeted him and he did the same, flashing you his signature wide grin.
“Don’t make plans for later. We’re going out tonight. You, me and Donghyuck” he said after he turned on the engine.
 The mention of this specific name took you aback. You muttered a small “okay” and you hoped he heard you the first time so you wouldn’t have to repeat it. “Should I tell Jimin to tag along? She said she would like to hang out all together too” you asked.
Yangyang shrugged. “Yeah sure, I haven’t seen her in a while. Hyuck would love to see her too” he said.
You thanked him for agreeing to invite Jimin and smiled at him. But you couldn’t ignore the clenching feeling that appeared again in your stomach.
Your thoughts carried you away and you didn’t realize you had already arrived at campus. Yangyang parked the car and both of you exited it. You exchanged a short conversation of “see you later” and “text me for any news” and went to your respective classes.
The day went by in a flash. It was already afternoon and you were in your dorm with Jimin, your closet wide open, clothes scattered all over the bed.
You let out a frustrated sigh. “I officially don’t have any clothes” you whined.
“No, you do,” Jimin said, “you’re just nervous. And I don’t even know the reason why, I thought you were over Donghyuck, right?”
“Jimin please, you’re making this even harder!” you whined again.
Jimin got up from the chair and stood in front of your closet. She searched through the racks and the drawers for a while until she stopped and put an outfit on your bed. “Here,” she said, “get dressed. And do it quickly. We’re gonna be late”.
You complied and took the clothes to get dressed. It’s just a meet up with old friends. Nothing to be stressed about. You didn’t have a crush on Donghyuck anymore either. You were probably nervous, or rather excited, because you hadn’t seen him in a long time. Yeah, that’s probably why.
You were supposed to meet Yangyang and Donghyuck at the local diner. Yangyang promised to be there earlier so that you and Jimin wouldn’t have to be the ones to wait for them. You weren’t sure whether you should believe him or not; every time he promises to be early, there’s only gonna appear something on his way to make him late.
Jimin offered to drive the two of you to the diner that you were supposed to meet your friends at. You’ve been to this diner before, you’re going out with your best friends, just a normal night out. But why is your heart beating so hard? Why does it feel like it’s about to rip your chest apart and fly out of your body?
Jimin parked the car in the diner’s parking lot. You spotted Yangyang’s car in the parking lot too, two figures standing beside it. It must be them. It must be him.
“Hello? Are you listening to me?” Jimin waved her hand in front of your face and you quickly snapped out of your thoughts. “I see them, let’s go” she said and exited the car.
You imitate her movements and get out of the car too. Jimin noticed your uneasiness, so she linked her arm with yours and walked with you towards the boys.
Yangyang and Donghyuck seemed to have a conversation about something and didn’t realize you were right there, standing in front of them. “We’re here” Jimin spoke up and the two boys turned their bodies to look at us.
Your gaze immediately fell on the boy that made your heart beat and break at the same time. Black leather jacket hanging from his shoulders, black skinny jeans and boots covering his long legs, comma-styled black hair exposing his forehead. You locked eyes with him, his chocolate ones piercing through yours, plump lips sliding upwards to a wide smile. You swear you saw sparkles in his eyes for a second. Only your heart knew the answer.
“Y/n” Donghyuck breathed out and you returned his smile, before you threw yourself on him and embraced him tightly.
He started laughing. “I missed you so much” he said in your ear and you were thankful he wasn’t able to see your face because your cheeks were almost on fire. “Cute, but I wish I could say the same bitch-ass” you laughed too.
“Oh shut up, you haven’t seen me in years and this is the treatment I get?”.Of course he clapped back. Typical Donghyuck. And right there and then, it felt as if not a single day had passed.
You hugged him tightly. You forgot how comfortable he felt. He had rested his chin in the crook of your neck and you stood on the tips of your toes to do the same. He had definitely grown a bit taller since the last time you saw him. You took a moment to remember his scent, to feel his touch, to hear his voice. And then the clenching feeling was there again.
Yangyang cleared his throat. “Um, we’re here too, you know” he trailed off. You and Donghyuck broke the hug and Donghyuck motioned Yangyang and Jimin to join you in a group hug. Your cheekbones hurt because you were smiling so hard. Your heart fluttered. You were happy.
Yangyang was the first one to break off the hug because he started whining and said he was hungry, so he went inside the diner and invited us in. Donghyuck followed shortly after him, leaving you and Jimin behind. Jimin turned at you and mouthed “girl he’s so hot” and went inside the diner. Typical Jimin, you thought.
Time seemed to have stopped and felt like you were trapped in a loop. Spending time with your favorite people, laughing, talking, reminiscing about the past while making plans for the future. You only stopped the conversations when you had to take a bite from your food or take a sip from your drink. Yangyang didn’t seem to be bothered by that though. 
“So,” Donghyuck started and you shifted your gaze to your drink “are you still dating that guy Y/n?”
Oh he was talking to you. You looked up at him, confused. “Who? Dejun? Well, no, we broke up, like, so long ago” you said.
“Yeah he yeeted his way out to be a model in China or something, honestly who even cares? I almost forgot about him” Yangyang said after he emptied his glass of beer.
Donghyuck chuckled at Yangyang’s remark and went back to eating his food. Jimin kicked you under the table and when you looked at her side, she was smirking.
“Well Yangyang, how about you tell us about your relationship, hm?” you asked him and he choked on his food. He started coughing and Donghyuck patted him on his back to help him breathe.
“Let's not talk about it bestie, okay? I know I fucked up” he said after he caught his breath.
“Why what happened? Donghyuck asked, intrigued.
Jimin was the one who spoke this time. “He's supposed to be dating this girl but he never texts her, calls her or takes her out. Basically he never wants to spend time with her. I seriously don’t know why she hasn’t broken up with him yet”.
Yangyang lowered his eyes. “It’s not like I don’t wanna see her,” he muttered, “but I may or may not have lost feelings and I kinda don’t know how to tell her”.
“Maybe if you weren’t such a coward you would confront her and stop playing with her. It’s that easy you know. Whether you love or don’t love someone anymore, you should tell them before it’s too late” you told him.
“Sounds brave coming from you, Y/n” his response caught you off guard. You threw a piercing glare at him and before you opened your mouth to speak, Jimin spoke over you. “Maybe we should change the topic, what do you think?” she said.
You and Yangyang exchanged a look and focused your attention on your food. Donghyuck chuckled at the interaction between you and your best friend, but he didn’t say anything. 
The rest of the night went on smoothly and you soon forgot about the tension between you and Yangyang from earlier. He was right though. You should consider your own advice sometimes. Why can’t you tell Donghyuck you like him? Why didn’t you tell him when you had the chance to do so? Your feelings for him began to resurface and it was just the first time you saw him after years. You couldn’t let yourself make the same mistake again.
The entire night you and Donghyuck kept throwing hidden glances at each other. You caught him staring at you multiple times and if you were honest with yourself, you did stare at him too. You couldn’t ignore the fact that he looked beautiful. He had always been beautiful.
Your mind, however, was focused on something else, something you wanted to have an answer to. Why did he stop reaching out for you when he left? You needed to know the reason why. He must have had a reason. You tried to push this thought aside and allowed yourself to have a good time. I’ll ask him another time, you thought.
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You were fifteen years old when you had your first kiss. And it was none other than Lee Donghyuck himself who stole it from you. Part of you believed that the reason you were so attached to him even now was because of that day; he gave you your first kiss. But a part of you knew that the kiss was the incident that tied everything together.
Donghyuck announced one day that the company his parents worked in was moving their main offices to a different town, so they had to move away from this place. The same day, you announced to your friend Jimin that you had your first heartbreak. Of course you were going to miss him. A lot. Yangyang was sad too that day. Jimin didn’t know him well enough, but she still felt sad when Donghyuck told you all.
The day before Donghyuck and his family would move away, Yangyang had an idea; to throw a goodbye party for Donghyuck. Donghyuck disagreed and said that a normal hangout with all of us would be just fine, but Yangyang insisted on throwing a party at his place. It will still be just the four of us but a little bit fancier, he had said.
So eventually everyone agreed. The previous day, you and Yangyang went to the shops to buy snacks and some decorations. You were walking around the convenience store aisles when Yangyang finally admitted to his ulterior motives.
“So, Y/n, here’s what we’re gonna do. For the party. I think we should play games but in a more adult way, if you know what I mean” he smirked and wiggled his eyebrows.
You looked at him confused and urged him to continue. “So we’ll play spin the bottle. And before you protest, no we’re not gonna drink anything with alcohol in it because we’re gonna get caught, but it’s gonna be a good excuse for me to kiss Jimin and for you to kiss Donghyuck”.
You stopped walking with a bag of chips in your hands and turned to him. “Are you out of your mind? This cannot happen, ever!” you whisper-shouted at him.
“Oh come on Y/n, don’t be such a party pooper. We both win in the end so what’s the matter?” he whined.
You thought for a few seconds. “They might be uncomfortable and turn down your offer. We want to have fun, remember? Plus, I don’t think Jimin likes you back and Donghyuck certainly doesn’t like me back either” you said and put that bag of chips you were holding into the shopping cart.
“Okay, Jimin might not like me back but I am completely, utterly, absolutely sure that Hyuck likes you” Yangyang said but you ignored him.
As if the odds were against you that day, Jimin and Donghyuck agreed on Yangyang’s suggestion. Jimin wasn’t that fond of the idea of playing spin the bottle at first, but eventually the boys convinced her and she said yes. You had no other choice but to agree too.
You wanted to kiss Donghyuck. You really did. But not in a forced scenario and definitely not in front of Yangyang. You wouldn’t bear his annoying ass teasing you about it for the rest of your life. But this could be my chance to finally confess to him, you thought. But even if you did, nothing would change. He would still leave town the next morning.
Yangyang grabbed the glass of cola you emptied earlier and put it on the ground. You gathered up sitting on the ground too. You looked at Jimin and she smiled at you. “Don’t think about it too much Y/n, it’s just a game”. It wasn’t just a game to you.
Yangyang was the first one to spin the bottle. The empty cola bottle spun for a few seconds, four sets of eyes staring at it with laser rays coming out of them. The bottle started gradually spinning less quickly, until it took three, two, one seconds before it stopped and became still; the top part of the bottle was pointing at Jimin and the bottom part was at Yangyang’s side. “Oh my god Jimin has to kiss you bro” Donghyuck said, smiling.
“This game is bullshit, I don’t wanna do it” Jimin said and crossed her arms. Jimin’s words made Yangyang’s lips drop down to a frown.
“Come on Jimin, it’s just a game, you said it yourself” Donghyuck said. Jimin sighed and leaned towards Yangyang. “Fine, come here then you bitch” she said before she grabbed Yangyan’s jaw and kissed him on the lips. You and Donghyuck stayed still, watching them. Jimin only went in to peck Yangyang, but he went all the way in and kissed her properly. Jimin was quick to react and pulled away from him.. “Ew, don’t do that! We agreed on just a kiss not a full on makeout session. Jeez Yangyang” she said and sat back down at her side.
Yangyang tried to hide the sulk on his face. “I tried to taste your chapstick more, you bitch, but it turns out it tastes awful. What the fuck is this taste?” Yangyang said and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.
“It's vanilla” Jimin said. Yangyang loved vanilla.
The game continued for a couple of rounds and every single time, as if it was its fate, the bottle landed on Jimin and Yangyang. Jimin had already had enough with kissing Yangyang just once, so she suggested that they avoid the kissing part and just hug instead. This went on and on and on until the bottle spun again, going round and round and round until it stopped in three, two, one. But this time, the bottle’s ends were pointing towards two different directions. The bottom part on you, the top part on Donghyuck.
You gulped and looked at him. He seemed calm, relaxed. For him, it was just a game. Sitting there at that moment, looking right into his deep brown eyes, you regretted agreeing to play this game. And you made a mental note to slap Yangyang after all of this was over.
“Now this is getting interesting” Yangyang whispered just loud enough for you to hear him and went over to Jimin's side to sit beside her and watch.
Donghyuck licked his lips and leaned over towards you. You hoped he wouldn't be able to listen to the drumming sounds of your heart or see the embarrassingly vibrant red color on your cheeks. You just went along with it. It’s just a game, right?
Donghyuck was standing a bit too close to you, probably the closest the two of you have been physically. Or rather, the most intimate you’ve been together. He lowered his head to meet your eye level, and came closer to your face just enough so that his lips were grazing over your ear. “Don’t be nervous, it’s just for fun” he whispered to you. Suddenly, this wasn’t just fun anymore.
Donghyuck pulled away from your ear and was now staring deep into your eyes, his face almost attached to yours. He looked at you for a couple of seconds before he gave you a reassuring nod. You didn’t have the energy to say anything, so you gave him a nod too, signaling him that you were fine.
Before you could even process what was about to happen, Donghyuck leaned in and kissed you. Plump lips captured yours in a soft dancing motion, their taste perfectly resembling a mix of the pizza and cola he had earlier. Shock waves run throughout your entire body, as he moved his hand to the back of your neck to support you.
You allowed yourself to fall entirely into him, eyes closed and lips moving along the rhythm he created. A few seconds felt like hours, his homely yet unfamiliar touch making your stomach clench and your face heat up in love.
And then he stopped. Donghyuck pulled back and flashed the brightest smile you had ever seen painted on his beautiful face. He licked his lips and you laughed awkwardly, looking down at your lap to avoid his piercing gaze. Your heart was still beating rapidly. You could taste his lips on your lips, you could feel the touch of his hand in the back of your neck, you could hear the sound of his beating heart, you could sense his cool breath fanning your burning face. Donghyuck had stopped kissing you, but the sensation of his kiss was still present in your entire body. You just had your first kiss, and at the same time, you had your first kiss with Donghyuck.
“Gosh you were kissing for ages. Like, get a room, or something” Yangyang said and went back to sit on the side of the room he was previously sitting in. Jimin threw you a playful wink secretly from the boys. You knew what it meant. We need to talk later type of wink.
It was getting late and Donghyuck’s parents called him to go back home. He needed to leave sooner than the rest of you because he still hadn’t packed all of his things. You greeted him one last time before he walked out the door to leave.
As the door closed, you felt your heart sink down the deepest ocean, a piece of it shattering, tears welling up in the corners of your eyes, dryness in your throat. You missed him already. It had been just a couple of seconds since he walked out the door and your heart to go out that door with him too.
A tear streamed down your cheek.So this was it. A second tear followed shortly after the first one. Then another one. And another one. Soon enough a pool of tears was running down your face and it hadn’t occurred to you that you were going to miss him that much. 
But as if a lightning bolt struck you, you quickly wiped your tears with the palm of your hands, stormed out the door and ran after Donghyuck.
“Donghyuck!” you yelled and he stopped to look back at you. You were lucky he heard your voice, he hadn’t walked that far though, you were quick to react and follow after him, just so you could spend some more time with him. You and him.  “Do you mind if I walk you home?” you asked him and he nodded.
You skipped a bit so that you could walk beside him. You started walking alongside Donghyuck, taking a few seconds to catch your breath until it came back to its normal rate. “So, when are we gonna see you again?” you asked him. He left a low chuckle and shook his head.
“I honestly don’t know, Y/n” he said. Another piece of your heart shattered.
Donghyuck noticed your saddened expression and took your hand in his. "Hey, look at me” he said. You stopped and turned towards him, taking in the details of his face. His chocolate eyes were gleaming under the moonlight, the moles on his dark cheek reminded you of the stars in the night sky.
“I will not forget you. Ever. Always remember that. I will try my best to call you as much as I can, all of you. You guys are my best friends, I could never leave you. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, it won’t be that easy for me to visit you often. but I promise to make up for all the time that we will lose. Especially for you. But I can’t be sure when that will be.”
A tear slipped down your cheek again and he wiped it away with his thumb. Why is he being like this all of a sudden?
Your voice wasn’t strong enough at that moment for you to speak, so you opened your arms to embrace him instead. And he hugged you back so tightly you thought your body would be merged with his. He buried his head at the crook of your neck and you stayed there for a while, feeling the presence of your bodies on each other. Not a single word was said, yet you felt so comfortable and safe in his arms.
That night you had helped him pack his things. You stayed in his room afterwards, talking, laughing, crying. God you were going to miss him. That day, you thought for the first time ever that maybe your feelings were reciprocated. But he said nothing about it. So you didn’t say anything either.
But you wanted to. It felt like all the words were stuck in your throat and there was something blocking them from coming out. I like you Donghyuck, I like you a lot. It was that easy. But for some reason, you couldn’t say it out loud. Maybe you didn’t want to. Maybe you were too scared of rejection. Or maybe you were afraid of losing a friend.
You and Donghyuck were sitting at the stairs of his porch, next to each other, facing the stars of the night sky. You didn’t want to go home. You couldn’t. You wanted to stay there longer, kiss him again, talk to him about anything and then kiss him again.
When you stood up to leave, he hugged you one last time, stroking your hair lightly. He spoke in a low voice in your ear. “I’ll be back. Don’t forget me”.
How could I ever forget you Donghyuck?
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The day after you met Donghyuck at the diner, he texted you and asked to hang out later after your classes. You would be lying to yourself if you said that you didn’t screech like a schoolgirl the moment you saw his text message on your phone when you woke up.
Of course you agreed to meet him. At that moment, you didn’t feel nervous, at all,  but as time passed your stomach was clenching more and more.
Jimin wouldn’t stop nudging you about it the entire day. She wanted to meet up for lunch because she was dying to talk about this ever since you came back home last night. “The first thing he did in the morning was to ask you to hang out later? Yeah, sounds like a date to me” she said.
You rolled your eyes at her. “It's not a date, drop it. He just wants us to hang out, that’s it” you said.
“Are you sure that you want to just hang out though?” she asked you.
You thought for a second. “Well, no, but I won't try to do anything more than that” you said.
“Whatever,” Jimin said “you have to tell him sometime though, you know that right? And you also have to admit to yourself that you never really got over him, so now that he’s here you have to make your move. You had your chance once and you lost it. So don’t lose it again now”.
You sighed. “What if he doesn’t feel the same” you said.
“Who gives a fuck?” Jimin said “If he doesn’t feel the same, you will close this chapter and begin a new one. There are other fish in the sea too, you know”
Yeah but it’s not the same, you whispered to yourself. Jimin didn’t hear you.
As soon as you came back to your dorm, you went straight to searching through your closet for an outfit to wear later, when your phone chimed.
[Hyuck]
meet me at the park in about hour
[Hyuck]
bring your bike too
You were staring at your phone screen until it turned off. Oh he’s such a little bitch, you thought.
You put on comfortable clothes and running shoes, and decided to ride your bike on the way to the park. The sun was beginning to set; orange and pink hues painted the sky, a light chilly breeze combing through your hair. The park was still lively, little kids were playing with each other, old couples were going for walks, some students were studying under the trees.
You hadn’t been to the park since the day Donghyuck left. Yangyang wanted to go skating there from time to time, but every time he asked you to keep him company, you turned down his offer. Then, he started filling his time with dating girls and you started spending more time with Jimin, so the park wasn’t your go-to place to hang out anymore.
You saw Donghyuck leaning against a tree, foot resting on top of the bike’s pedal, same black leather jacket as the day before, a bucket hat hiding his pretty features. He was scrolling through his phone as you approached him.
“Hey” you said and his head shot up, turning off his phone and placing it in his pocket. “Y/n, hi” he said and smiled. You smiled back at him. He looked beautiful when he smiled.
“So, you still like the park, I see” you said. He nodded and hopped on his bike. “I do. So come on, let’s go for a ride. I think we have to catch up on a lot of things. And I promised to make up for all the time we lost. So, let’s go” he said and started riding his bike.
You followed shortly after him until you were now biking beside him. So he does remember his promise, you thought. You smiled to yourself and pushed your thoughts to the back of your mind. You wanted to enjoy your time with him, just like the old times.
You spent hours biking and talking about anything. Donghyuck told you stories from his high school years, the friends he met on the way, how he changed his college major and decided to come back here to study computer engineering.
“A part of me wanted this change because I missed this town, you know? I have so many memories here, I was kinda attached to this place. All I needed was a valid reason to come back, and I found one, so here I am.” he said.
You couldn’t help but bring the same questions to your mind, so you gathered all of your strength and asked him. “Then why didn’t you visit us at all? Or even call us back? You did at first and then you stopped. Why?”
Donghyuck pulled the breaks of his bike and rested his feet on the ground to stop the bike from moving. You mimicked his actions and stood there searching his features for an answer. He cleared his throat and turned to look at you. You couldn’t see his face clearly because the bucket hat was casting a shadow over his features.
“Honestly, I don’t really know. I didn’t want to stop contacting you, but I don’t know why I did it.” He paused for a few moments. He drew in a breath and started again. “You know what, I think I know, but I can’t tell you now. Maybe some other time, okay?” he said.
You were left confused, but decided not to question him any further. Instead, you nodded and smiled at him. He would tell you when he was ready to do so.
The sky was getting darker and darker and both your stomachs growled in hunger. Donghyuck suggested that you buy takeout and sit under at the park to stargaze. You left your bikes leaning against a random tree and put your jackets on the ground to sit on them.
The sky looked beautiful. The stars and the moon were shining brightly, contrasting with the pitch black background of the sky. Donghyuck was staring at the sky when he spoke up “I remember how much you liked watching the sky when you were younger. You were always watching the stars closely and we made bets on which one would fall first.”
You chuckled at the memory. “And you always lost. Every. Single. Time. Seriously, you have no intuition at all. You had won one time and bragged about it forever” you said and he laughed.
He turned his head to face you. He had taken off his hat too, his black hair was falling over his eyes. “You were just lucky all the other times. Don’t flatter yourself” he said.
You sat there and ate your food in silence. Comfortable silence. The only sound that was heard was the singing of the cicadas in the trees and occasionally your munching on the food.
Everything felt at ease again. You and Donghyuck, sitting beside each other, enjoying each other’s company, not having to utter a single word. You were smiling at yourself, it really felt as if not a single day had passed.
Donghyuck looked back at the sky and took a sip from his drink before he addressed you. “You really improved. Biking, I mean. I remember you were still struggling when I left” he said.
“Thanks, I still rode my bike to school so that I could get used to it more. Thank you for teaching me by the way. I don’t think I ever thanked you properly” you said.
“It's no problem” he said and sipped from his drink again.
He opened his mouth to speak again, changing the subject now. “So, why did you break up with that guy? Dejun, was it?” he asked.
Why is he so curious about that? “Oh, there were many reasons actually. He wasn’t a bad guy, he was really cool and I liked him a lot. It’s just that we got kinda bored of each other, I guess? And he also graduated from high school a year earlier than me so then he had to go back to China for college.”
Donghyuck nodded. “I see” he paused and asked again. “How was he like?”
“Why do you even bother so much? He is old news now, anyway” you said. But now you were curious about Donghyuck too. “Tell me about you, did you date anyone in high school?”
You don’t know why but you got anxious waiting for his answer. He shrugged. “Yeah but nothing serious. Just casual things, you know?” he said and you hummed in agreement.
The night went on and you talked more. You and Donghyuck agreed to hang out at the park every day after your classes, like you used to. That’s what he suggested. You couldn’t say no; of course you wanted to spend time with him.
And that’s what you did. You grew closer again, maybe even closer than you used to be. You enjoyed biking and stargazing in the park a lot. It had become your thing; an activity that the two of you shared with each other, an excuse to get away from everyone and everything and make up for all the memories you could have had.
There were quite a few moments when you wanted to look Donghyuck in the eyes and tell him I like you dumbass. But every single time you backed away from doing it. You were too scared that these harmless words would end up destroying everything you had built with him.
So you waited. You waited for the right time to bring it up. You were having the time of your life alongside a dear person that you’ve loved and appreciated your entire life. You were not ready to take the risk and possibly lose him. So you never said a word. Because he didn’t say any words either.
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“Why does Donghyuck keep asking me about Dejun? What is so interesting about him? If he wants to find out more about him, he should be the one to date him” the frustration in your voice made a couple of people turn their heads from the tables next to yours.
Jimin took a fork bite of her carrot cake. “Girl, you must be joking” she said, munching on the piece of cake. “He asks about him because, guess what, he is jealous! J-e-a-l-o-u-s. Got it? Why are you so stupid, gosh! The man has clearly fallen for you and you are so oblivious of it!”.
“I mean why would he be jealous? Dejun and I broke up so long ago” you muttered to yourself.
Jimin heard that and, obviously, she wouldn’t leave it at that. “This is what happens when you like someone. Donghyuck keeps asking you about your ex boyfriend because he wants to make sure he’s in the clear to make a move.”
You sighed. “Is this why you keep asking Yangyang if he broke up with his girlfriend? Look, Jimin, I love you, but I don’t think Hyuck likes me. As a friend, yes. But nothing more than that.”
Jimin gulped down a glass full of water. “Okay, whatever floats your boat, Y/n” she said and took another fork bite of her cake. “So, did Yangyang tell you? A frat guy he knows is hosting a party this weekend, wanna go?” she asked you.
“Come on Jiminie, you know I don’t really do parties” you whined.
Jimin rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t expecting a different answer. But we’re definitely going. There’s gonna be hot boys, good music and lots of alcohol. I heard Donghyuck is going too”.
“Well, he didn’t mention any party” you defended him. “He didn’t mention any party yet” Jimin corrected you. “He's gonna bring it up any second. I bet you can’t say no to him, you care too much about his feelings but you never care about mine” Jimin sulked.
You mentally slapped her only because you couldn’t bear to slap her for real. “I will go to the party because you want us to go, not because Donghyuck will supposedly be there. You know I always come along with you in everything. We come as a package, remember? Now, don’t sulk and eat your cake, we have to think about our outfits” you said. She was your best friend after all, it was the least you could do.
Jimin’s face lit up and her lips curved upwards, stretching all the way to her ears. Before she could open her mouth to speak, you cut her off. “But you have to promise me that you won’t get drunk, okay?” you said and lifted your pinky.
She linked her pinky finger with yours and nodded in agreement. “I don’t exactly promise it, but I’ll try my best” she said.
Donghyuck indeed mentioned the party later that day when you went out at the park with him. “I don’t really wanna go either Y/n, but all my friends are gonna be there. And now that you’re gonna be there too, I can’t be the only one missing out from all the fun” he said.
Donghyuck has had his fun share with parties during high school. He told you so one night at the park. He would sneak out the house and go to parties during weekends, but one night, or rather morning, he went home super drunk and threw up all over the front door rug. He claimed that this happened because of a dare his friends made him do and that he didn’t intend to drink as much as he did. After that, he avoided parties like the plague. It’s not that his parents never allowed him to go again; he could easily sneak out his window. He was smart enough to realize that parties were simply not good for him.
“I wanted to fit in with them, you know?” Donghyuck said “I got used to it eventually and I actually kinda liked it, but now I don’t really enjoy such things”.
That’s one of the many reasons you liked Donghyuck so much. His honesty. He wasn’t afraid to speak his mind about things that bothered him, or simply voice out his thoughts. So why wasn’t he doing it with his feelings too? Was it so hard for him too? Did he actually like you, like Jimin said? Or maybe you just wanted to believe that he did. If he really did, he would probably have said it by now.
But his actions spoke louder than his words. You couldn’t help but think about the way he looked at you under the night sky when you were staring at the stars but he was staring back at you. Or when he wiped your strawberry milk stains from the corners of your lips and his fingers stayed there brushing your lips a little longer than they should be. Or when he held you close to him among big crowds so that he wouldn’t lose you from his sight. Or when he would let you rest your head on his chest while he was stroking your hair so that you could fall asleep faster.
You swear you had heard him whisper something to you once, but when you asked him to repeat it he waved it off. Were you that desperate for his attention? Maybe. But maybe both of you were fools, afraid to let their heart be free because of the painful possibility that it might break.
You and Jimin were standing in front of the frat house door, the loud music blasting through the speakers behind the wall created a throbbing base sound in your ears, your heart beat in sync with the beat of the song that was playing from inside that house.
“Do we knock or...” Jimin trailed off before the door slid wide open and a tipsy young man stood by it. “Welcome ladies, come on in” he said. You and Jimin looked at each other for confirmation before hesitantly taking a step forward. The young man stepped aside so that you could get through the door.
The place was dark, the only source of light being the neon special effects lighting coming from the DJ set. The rooms were packed with people, some of them already drunk, some of them dancing all over each other, the mixed odor of sweat, alcohol and weed making you dizzy. At that exact moment you reminded yourself that this was why you didn’t like parties.
You and Jimin stood there, eyes wandering all over the room, trying to take in the scenery in front of you. “Damn, this is so cool” Jimin breathed out.
The guy who opened the door a few seconds ago was nowhere to be seen. A girl was walking with her sunglasses on, when she bumped into Jimin and spilled a bit of her drink on the ground, a drop of it landing on Jimin’s shoe. A “sorry” was barely audible on top of the loud music and Jimin stood there looking at her shoe in disgust.
“I guess it’s not that cool” she said and grabbed your hand. “Let’s go get ourselves some drinks.”
You walked towards the kitchen which was a bit brighter compared to the other rooms. Bottles of different types of alcohol were lined up on the kitchen counter. Juice boxes, ice and plastic red cups were placed on the kitchen table. A group of boys were refilling their cups with their alcohol of choice, while a couple was making out up against the wall next to the fridge.
Jimin’s disgusted expression from earlier appeared again. You decided to ignore your surroundings and went over to the kitchen counter to grab a drink for you and Jimin.
“Where’s Yangyang?” Jimin asked
“I honestly have no idea. He said he’d text me once he gets here, but I’m a bit surprised he didn’t arrive earlier than us. He doesn’t miss on such things” you said and Jimin nodded.
“And Donghyuck?” she asked again
You put the bottle of alcohol down and grabbed a box of grapefruit juice. You shrugged. “ No idea either.”
Jimin smirked at your answer, but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she took her cup and guided you out of the kitchen towards the living room. “Come on, let’s dance” she said.
The music was blasting into your eardrums and your body caught the rhythm of the music, adjusting its muscles to move along to it. It wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Your body was swaying to the fast-paced song that the DJ was playing when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket.
[Hyuck]
where are you?
[Hyuck]
can’t see you
You lifted your head to look around the crowded living room in hopes of finding Donghyuck. It didn’t take you long before you could spot him among the crowd, though. You could never miss him anywhere, he always stood out in your eyes. Your gaze caught his, and his lips curved a bit when he saw you.
He tried to squeeze between the people dancing in the living room in order to get to your place. “What are you looking at?” Jimin asked you when she noticed that something bothered you.
You didn’t have time to answer her, because Donghyuck grabbed your arm to smoothly turn your body around and shift your attention to him. You felt a lump in your throat, your breath trapped inside your lungs. There he stood, messy hair falling onto his eyes, black graphic shirt and jeans, a Cuban link around his neck and matching rings on his fingers contrasting with the dark colors of his outfit. He looked gorgeous.
He flashed you a smile, raising his voice so that you could hear him. “Hi” he said. He simply said hi. Yet a group of butterflies started dancing in your stomach. You said it back.
Jimin got the message and leaned in your ear. “I think I saw some girls I know from one of my classes. I’d better leave you two” she said and turned on her heel to leave.
Donghyuck waved Jimin off and grabbed your hand. He then bent a bit lower and leaned in your ear. “Should we go somewhere quieter?” he asked you, his low voice vibrating in your ear. You could only nod.
Donghyuck walked in the front and you followed behind him, still holding his hand. He led you outside the house, towards the back yard. Plastic cups were scattered all over the grassy ground, two girls passed out beside some bushes, a guy sipping alcohol from a glass bottle and dancing on his own. Yeah, parties were weird.
You felt weirded out and uncomfortable at the sight and Donghyuck sensed it. He squeezed your hand and you looked up at him. He nodded to the large swing beside the barbecue stand and motioned you to go and sit there.
You sat down on the swing and Donghyuck copied your movement. He leaned his body towards the back so that it touched the back of the swing and with a swift motion, he pushed his feet on the ground and the swing started moving. You lifted your feet off the ground and let Donghyuck rock the swing smoothly.
You sat in silence for a moment, that comfortable silence that only existed when you were with Donghyuck, which was interrupted by his honey voice. “I don’t like parties” he simply said.
You turned to look at him but he was staring into the void in front of him. “ I have bad memories when it comes to parties” he said.
You didn’t speak. You didn’t want to. You always let him open up to you without interrupting his stream of thoughts.
Donghyuck drew in a sharp breath. “Remember that story I told you about that party? That one when I went home the next day and threw up all over the door? Yeah that one. I couldn’t bear going to something like this again when the last time I did, I didn’t even do it for myself. Did you know that I started drinking so that kids at my new school thought I was cool? That’s how I ended up spilling my guts all over my mother’s rug.”
He turned to look at you. “Pretty disgusting, huh?” he chuckled.
You chuckled too. You lowered your gaze to your feet. “Then why did you come here tonight?” you asked him.
“I don’t know” he said without even thinking about his answer. “I guess I came for my friends again.“ He paused for a second and spoke again “And I guess I also came to see you, mostly” he trailed off.
You stilled at his words and you thanked yourself for staring at your shoes and not looking at him, because he would be able to see the embarrassingly bright red color of your cheeks.
“But you see me everyday. We hang out all the time” you said.
“I know” he said. That’s all he said. What was that even supposed to mean?
Before you could speak, Donghyuck got up from the swing and extended his arm in front of you. “Come on, let's get out of here. This party sucks, we both hate it, so why waste our time? Let’s leave. Me and you.” he said.
You looked up at him. “Hyuck,” you trailed off “as much as I hate this party and as much as I want to leave with you, I promised Jimin to keep her company” you really hated that you had to say this.
“Jimin has found other people to hang out with, she’ll be fine, I know it.” Donghyuck said, a glimpse of hope in the tone of his voice.
That glimpse vanished when you rejected his offer for the second time, the corners of his mouth dropping to a frown. “I’m sorry Hyuck, I can’t” you said.
Donghyuck nodded to himself and put his hands inside his pockets. He cleared his throat but his voice still came out a bit raspy and low. “It’s okay, I get it.”
Your heart shuttered upon seeing him like this. You really didn’t want to make him feel bad, but you had also promised Jimin to be there for her since she wanted this so much. And you couldn’t let yourself break that promise, even though it was actually a bit trivial. Because in all honesty, Jimin would really be fine.
But also a small part of you was too flustered to spend time alone with Donghyuck at that moment. You felt as if you weren’t capable of controlling your emotions; your feelings kept growing stronger and stronger, and his presence alone was enough to make you feel overwhelmed with love.
The back door opened and someone came running through it. “Donghyuck, dude!” a guy you didn’t quite recognize yelled and came to grab Donghyuck by his arm. “You’re missing out on all the fuuuun my dude, come in back insideeee we’re gonna get fucking wasted!” the guy was yelling and patting Donghyuck on the back of his neck while dragging him inside the frat house.
Donghyuck said something you didn’t quite catch, and he tried to let go of the guy’s hold on him, but he failed to do so. The guy had already taken him to the back door and inside the house.
The door closed shut behind them and you left sitting on the swing by yourself, rocking it slightly with your feet. You shivered under the cool evening breeze and wrapped your arms around your body to shield yourself from the cold.
You didn’t want to go back inside. You promised Jimin to keep her company, but a frat party was the last place you wanted to be at, at that time. You grabbed your phone and, speaking of the devil, a few texts from Jimin appeared on your screen.
[Jiminie]
spotted yangyang. pretty sure he took a girl to a room
[Jiminie]
doesn’t he a gf?
You sighed reading Jimin’s texts. You really had to have a talk with Yangyang. And Jimin, for that matter. At least you knew that he was safe and that you probably won’t have to take care of him like a baby after you leave the party.
[you]
let him be, we’ll kick his ass tomorrow
[you]
where are you?
The text you wrote was delivered for the next 15 minutes. Jimin hadn’t read your message. All of a sudden, your hands became sweaty and your chest felt heavy as if a rock had fallen onto it.
Why didn’t she text me back?
Worry started welling up inside you and you rushed inside the house looking for your best friend. The music had got louder, the crowd was bigger, the smell of alcohol and weed more prominent. You went running up and down the stairs, kicking open every single door you found on your way.
Still, Jimin was nowhere to be found.
You stood at the edge of the stairway for a second to catch your breath. You opened your phone to call her and started walking towards the bathroom, the last room you didn’t check.
The phone was beeping in your ear, but Jimin didn’t pick up. You exhaled sharply and opened the bathroom door, still holding the phone in your ear. The sweat on your palms and the rock on your chest magically disappeared when you saw Jimin kneeling in front of the toilet with an arm holding her hair back out of her face.
A sigh of relief escaped your lips and you stopped the phone call. “Thank god you’re safe. I was so freaked out you bitch” you said and crouched down beside her. “Are you okay?” you asked her.
Jimin nodded and let her hair fall down her shoulders. She wiped her lips with the back of her palm before she spoke. “I’m okay. I had a bit too much alcohol and I threw up. But I feel better now. Sorry for making you worried” she said.
You opened your arms and she fell into your embrace. You stroked her head lightly, as you could feel her warm tears wetting the fabric of your shirt on your shoulder. She promised not to drink too much, but your gut somehow knew you’d better stay there at the party because something like this would be inevitable. “It's okay Jiminie, I was the one who left you alone, I promised to keep you company” you said.
She pulled back from the hug. “I guess we both broke each other’s promise” she chuckled and you did the same.
Jimin sniffled and wiped her already dry tears. “Why are you alone? Where is Donghyuck?” she asked you.
“We were sitting outside but then a random guy came and dragged him back inside. He seemed pretty wasted” you replied.
Jimin’s eyes widened and she stood up abruptly. “Oh no, oh no no no” she said.
You stood up too. “What? Jimin, what's wrong?” you asked her curiously.
“If it's the guy I think it is, then Donghyuck might be stupid drunk right now, or even worse, under the influence. We need to find him. Now” she said and ran out the bathroom and down the stairs, skipping a couple of steps while doing so.
You followed right after her, the rock falling on your chest again. You hated parties. This was final. Things like this are unavoidable in parties, and you hated the fact that your friends had to go through shit every single time.
The music wasn’t as loud as earlier and the living room didn’t feel as crowded. Most of the people were gathered outside in the backyard, or were already passed out on the beds or the floors of the bedrooms.
You and Jimin spotted a group of people gathered in a circle in the middle of the living room. Everybody was sitting on the carpeted floor, bottles of alcohol scattered everywhere around them. You noticed that a guy was holding a blunt and kept rotating it to every person gathered in that circle. Oh no. 
Their voices were mixed in with the music coming from the DJ set, so all you could see was their mouths moving without saying anything meaningful. The smoke of the blunt made the living room foggy and your lungs were struggling to work properly in between the crowded room.
The stinging sensation in your eyes caused by the smoke and flashing lights made your eyes watery and you could not tell apart any face in the crowd, except for Jimin who was standing next to you.
“What the fuck is going on in here?” Jimin whispered.
You rubbed your eyes in order to clear your vision without even caring if this would ruin your makeup. The faces on the people sitting on the floor became clearer, and it didn’t take you long before you spotted the familiar chocolate eyes looking drowsy, honey fingers placing the blunt in between soft plump lips.
A girl passed Donghyuck the blunt and he took a long and slow drag from it, exhaling the smoke into the thick air creating smoke rings. He then gave the blunt to the person next to him and he leaned back supporting his body with his elbows.
Donghyuck was wasted. Whatever that guy did to him in such a little time got to him immediately. His chocolate eyes were drowned in a pool of red, his hair looking messier than before and his clothes were all wrinkled.
You stood there frozen looking at him. If you had tried to keep him away from that guy, he wouldn’t have ended up in this situation. He had told you that he was pressured by other people to do stuff he didn’t want to do, but was he that naive to let this happen to himself once again? How many times has that even happened before? 
Your thoughts had carried you away, your vision was blurry again and your ears had blocked away all the sounds. An arm slung around your shoulders and you jolted up at the sudden touch.
“Where have you been bestie? You came rrright at the perfect time. We’re playing spin the bottle” Yangnyang said drowsily, his eyes painted in the same red shade as Donghyuck’s.
“Oh you’re here too, come on, sit down” he said to Jimin and dragged us both to the circle on the floor. He used both his arms and his full force to sit us down next to each other, and then he got up to sit across from us where he was previously sitting.
The girl to your left offered you the blunt but you rejected it without a second thought. Everyone was either stupid high or stupid drunk, some of them were both. You were suffocating. You felt like a total stranger there, even the existence of your own body was making you anxious.
You turned to Jimin on your right. “We need to go home” you mouthed and she kept nodding to herself constantly.
Your eyes roamed around the small circle, trying to find a way to get up and leave. But before you could do that, the chocolate pair of eyes that was now drowned in deep red, locked in with yours. A sense of déjà vu ran through your entire body, shivering under his gaze. This cannot happen again.
Jimin took your hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. She was uncomfortable and so were you. You tried to get up and leave, but the girl next to you dragged you back down.
A guy gulped down an entire bottle of alcohol before he put it down in the middle of the circle. You didn’t even bother to look at what type of alcohol it was.
Yangyang moved in closer to the middle and grabbed the bottle. “Alright, I'll go first!” he shouted and with a swift motion, he spun the bottle fast.
The bottle was spinning at a rapid speed until it came to a stop, its two ends pointing on two people you didn’t know. Apparently, you were the only one who didn’t know them because everyone else was super excited for their kiss. Or at least they were too high to understand what they were doing.
The bottle spun again. And again. And again. You lost count of how many rounds you were in, the same way your eyes were lost in Donghyuck’s. You kept him under your gaze, watching his every move and trying to justify the way he was acting. You had never seen him like this, so out of himself. What happened to the boy you saw a couple hours ago? The boy you knew ever since you were five? It felt as if he had almost lost whatever it was that made him different from the others. Right now, he looked like every other frat boy in that house.
But he didn’t really look at you. In fact, his mind seemed to be roaming around, not really paying attention to any of his surroundings except for when someone would pass him the blunt.
The bottle kept spinning and almost everyone had kissed someone else at this point. Yangyang took his fair share of the game as he kept on kissing a different girl in almost every single round.
Jimin squeezed your hand again and you realized how uncomfortable she might have felt. This time, you wouldn’t let any of the others stop you from leaving. Your friend wasn’t feeling well, but so were you. So you let go of Jimin’s hand and stood up, ready to leave.
As if fate was against you, you heard a burst of cheers and whistles coming from everyone gathered in the room. You regretted not leaving sooner, because the one end of the bottle was pointing at your side. And the other end was pointing at Donghyuck.
Cold sweat ran down your temples and a tight knot appeared in your stomach. This can’t be. You froze there standing still, staring at the bottle on your feet. You lifted your gaze from your feet to meet Donghyuck’s, who was staring back at you with a smug expression painting his face. From the corner of your eye, you could spot Yangyang grinning like a madman, his entire dentition on full display.
As if he did it on purpose, Donghyuck took a long drag of the blunt before standing up too so that his eyes leveled yours. The smugness on his face never left his features, his drowsy red eyes pouring into yours.
He slowly walked towards you, stopping right in front of your standing figure. His face was now way too close to yours. You could smell the alcohol and God knows what else on his breath, the heat of his body radiating to yours.
Donghyuck parted his lips and your breath got caught in your throat. His body somehow got even closer to yours. He tilted his head to the side and leaned against your ear. His hot breath was fanning over your ear, his lips softly grazing your skin. With a voice hoarse and low, he spoke loud enough for you to barely hear him. “Don’t worry sweetheart, we’ve done this before.”
You hadn’t even noticed which end of the bottle was pointing at you, but Donghyuck took the initiative himself and smacked his plump lips onto yours. His touch caught you off guard. You were standing there doing nothing, while Donghyuck placed both of his hands on the sides of your neck, his lips moving aggressively yet smoothly on top of yours.
You waited for him to pull away so that you could leave the party as soon as possible, but his intentions seemed to be different. He bit on your bottom lip in an attempt to part your lips so that you could kiss him back. You hated to admit it to yourself but it definitely worked. You parted your mouth just enough and moved your lips in sync with his smooth plump ones, the taste of alcohol from his lips transfering to yours.
The knot on your stomach kept on tightening more and more with each second passing. Your pulse rate had reached an infinite number of beats per minute and you were sure that your legs would not be able to hold you for much longer.
As if Donghyuck read your mind, he pulled away after leaving a last soft peck on your lips, removing his hands from the sides of your neck. He pulled back smirking at you as you were still standing frozen, your lips still feeling numb and swollen.. 
You had blocked away everyone else that was around you. You couldn’t hear anything of what they were saying. Your brain was still trying to comprehend what had just happened.
With a quick snap back to reality, you grabbed Jimin’s hand and turned your back to everyone else, storming off through the door of the frat house.
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The night of the party you slept over at Jimin’s dorm. As soon as you exited the frat house, you went straight to Jimin’s car and you offered to drive since Jimin wasn’t in the right place to drive. She was still feeling unwell after she threw up all the alcohol she had consumed previously the same night, so you wanted to make sure she would be fine. But honestly, you weren’t feeling well either, and it wasn’t because you had drank.
Your mind kept replaying the moment Donghyuck kissed you like a video on loop. You were suddenly fifteen again, playing a silly game of spin the bottle with your friends where you happened to kiss your silly little crush. But now it happened again. And it wasn’t a silly game or a silly crush anymore.
Why was Donghyuck so complicating? All those times you hung out together, you never noticed him having any romantic intentions towards you. Everything he did or said was purely in the terms of friendship. But the way he approached you, touched you and kissed you at the party told you otherwise. Were you that blind not to notice his intentions?
You tried to excuse his behavior, saying that he was high or drunk and didn’t know what he was doing. Which is not necessarily a lie. It wasn’t his fault that he got peer pressured into drinking and behaving like one of the frat boys. He is the complete opposite of a troublemaker and ill-intended person; no wonder people found it so easy to talk him into things. 
Plus, it was only just a game. He sure didn’t think of it as something much of a big deal, so why would you give it so much importance? 
You mentally slapped yourself for thinking like this, because Jimin, who was already fast asleep, would yell at you for excusing Donghyuck’s behavior. He’s not a kid, he’s a grown-up, he knows what he’s doing, she would say. You had to wait until the morning to hear her scolding. The thing is, she wouldn’t be completely wrong about this.
During the thunderstorm of thoughts pouring inside your brain, a bold lightning struck in between. What if you confessed to him? Your heart couldn’t bear hiding what it felt for any longer. At that moment, you didn’t care if it would ruin your relationship with Donghyuck. He has acted recklessly enough quite a few times now, so you were allowed to be reckless for once too. He had to know how you felt, because this is what would make you feel at ease with yourself. He can’t find it so easy to kiss you in a drunk game and not feel anything either. After the spark that lit up with the touch of your lips and the butterflies that danced around the knot in your stomach, you knew you had to tell him. But the problem was that you didn’t know how to do it. 
For the meantime, you had curled up in Jimin’s bed hugging yourself tightly, crying your eyes out until sweet sleep brushed over them and closed them shut.
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The morning of the next day you and Jimin went out to grab breakfast together. She was still feeling a bit weird because of last night’s events, but she said that a plate of chocolate chip pancakes would cure her hangover.
You were fiddling with your fork, scraping it at the surface of the plate, a screeching noise coming from it. Jimin visibly shivered at the sound and you stopped it.
“So,” Jimin began, swallowing a big piece of the pancakes, “wanna talk about last night?” she asked.
You put your fork down and sat back, crossing your arms. “I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. Everything is so confusing” you answered.
“Um, that’s exactly why we need to talk about it” Jimin said. She drank a full glass of water and then set it down on the table with a thud. It was so loud, you thought that the table might have broken.
“Donghyuck literally kissed you and we’re gonna completely ignore that? Come on Y/n, we cannot pretend it didn’t happen. Well, at least you cannot pretend it didn’t happen” Jimin said.
“Drop it Jimin, he was drunk, or high, or whatever.”
“No he was not. Well he was, but not that much. He knew what he was doing. Look, Y/n, Donghyuck has been a great friend to you and I know how much you love him for that. But when it comes to the romantic part of your relationship, he’s been nothing but an ass.”
You sighed and didn’t say anything in return. Jimin was right. He really was an ass when it came to romantic relationships. But you couldn’t ignore your feelings. You knew the way you felt when he touched you, when he leaned close to your ear and whispered to you, when his lips danced with yours.
The question is, did he feel the same?
You broke the silence by speaking up. “I think I’m gonna confess to him” you said.
Jimin almost choked on her food. She started coughing and you immediately got up and patted her on her back to prevent any accidents. You filled in her glass with water and helped her drink a bit.
“You what?!” Jimin practically screamed and you were thankful that the restaurant was not full that morning.
“I thought about it last night and I can’t keep suppressing my feelings, But I don’t know how to do it and I still think that Donghyuck might not like me back, hell, he only sees my as a friend, but at the same time I felt it when he kissed me, it felt different than the first time he did it back at that goodbye party before high school and God I hate parties becau-“
“Hey hey hey! Calm down bestie” Jimin interrupted you. You were panting, trying to catch your breath. You didn’t realize you went on an auto-rant mode until after Jimin spoke.
“It’s okay, I know it’s hard to do it. But if you finally feel confident enough to tell him, you should do it. We’ll think of a way to do that, together.” Jimin reassured you and you nodded to yourself.
Speaking of the devil, your phone screen lit up and a ting sound echoed in the room. You picked it up, only to see a text from Donghyuck.
[Hyuck]
see you at the park later?
You sighed again and made a mental note to text him back in a minute when you would have calmed down from your previous outbreak.
You really had to tell him, and you had to do it soon.
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Despite your initial denial, you agreed to meet Donghyuck later that day at the park, at your usual spot. You were contemplating whether to meet him or not, because even though you wanted to confess, your anxiety and fear of a bad outcome got the best of you. 
You didn’t mind if you got rejected. You really didn’t care at all. At that moment, you just wanted to get it out of your chest. A few weeks ago, you would be dreading the possibility of Donghyuck rejecting your feelings and ruining your friendship. But right now you had none of that in mind.
You rode your bike on the way to the park in order to clear your mind with some fresh air. The sun had almost set and the park was becoming emptier. You spotted Donghyuck sitting on the ground with his back resting on a tree trunk. He had rode there on his bike too.
You went up to him and he only noticed your presence until after you sat down beside him. He turned his head to your side and he flushed you one of his precious bright smiles, the one that always made your heart skip a bit.
You didn’t want to lie to yourself, but your confidence from earlier magically vanished the moment you saw his face.
“How have you been? It was a mess last night” you spoke first and his smile dropped at the sound of your voice, his plump lips forming a soft frown, eyes falling down to his lap.
“Don’t remind me of that” Donghyuck said. He paused for a second before he spoke again. “I actually wanted to apologize for that. For whatever happened. I clearly didn’t mean anything I did or said, so if I did anything bad or weird, don’t tell me. I don’t wanna know. I promised myself I wouldn’t get carried away, but guess what! I did nothing but that. I’m sorry.”
You waited for him to finish with what he wanted to say before you said anything else. You went closer to him and rubbed his back in sympathy.
It took you a while to take in everything he said. What did he mean by “I didn’t mean anything I said or did”? Did he regret kissing you? Didn’t he feel the same spark, the same tingle, the same knot in his stomach?
You tried to push these thoughts away and focus on your feelings. It was time you put your feelings first, or rather, yourself. Your heart was beating out of your chest, blood rushing into your cheeks, as you gathered all your confidence and courage before you spoke up.
“Donghyuck?” you said in a soft, quiet voice, barely above a whisper. Donghyuck lifted his head, his chocolate eyes diving deep into yours, his skin glimmering under the moonlight like frozen honey.
That’s when your voice got stuck in your throat, and you stood there staring at him and he was staring back at you. “Wanna go on a ride with our bikes? To clear our minds?” you said.
He nodded and his plump lips curved upwards, his eyes creasing a bit on the sides. This is not what you wanted to say, but at least you said something.
You wanted to say so much more. So many things occupied the back of your head, you wanted to scream at him for giving you all these mixed signals, you wanted to scold him for acting so immature, you wanted to hug him and tell him that he’s too good for this world, you wanted to feel his touch and warmth on your body. But you did nothing for it.
You had to think of a way to confess to him without having to say any words. Otherwise, you would fuck up. Or you wouldn’t be able to do it at all, and you would be left with the burden upon your chest.
In the meantime, you were reminded how beautiful you felt every time you were with him. You relaxed, you laughed, you cried, you smiled, you frowned, you were stressed and then you were not. There was only one boy in all the world that could wake up every single emotion inside you and that boy was none other than Lee Donghyuck.
You still quite couldn’t put your finger on what it was that made him so different from the other boys. Maybe the fact that he was just a guy, like everyone else, but he seemed so gorgeous in your eyes. Maybe it was because you knew him in a way no one else did. That’s why you felt the need to share your feelings with him, because no matter what, you somehow knew that he would always love you back, even as just a friend. 
You were still mad at him for acting this way. But you could not completely ignore the person you knew because of one reckless incident. You knew Donghyuck very well, and you knew that he was better than this. You weren’t in the right mood to confront him after seeing how bad he felt with himself, so you chose to put whatever happened at the party towards the back of your head for a while and enjoy your time with him.
There is always the right time for everything.
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“Aeri broke up with me” Yangyang announced, with a frown on his face that could reach the floor.
“She did? Yeah, I’m not surprised. You shouldn’t be either” you said.
“But why?” Yangyang whined.
“Are you serious right now?” Jimin spoke up “You literally hook up with every other girl, plus, you never gave her any attention! And you have the audacity to cry about it.”
You were walking on campus, heading towards your respective classes. It had been two days since the frat party, and Yangyang’s girlfriend found out about his doings and she finally snapped.
Donghyuck caught up to you and joined the conversation. “Oof, I found you guys, I was looking for you everywhere. Wait what happened?” he asked as soon as he noticed Yangyang’s frown in his expression.
“Aeri happened” you said.
“Who's Aeri?” Donghyuck asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
Jimin was the one to speak up this time. “Yangyang’s girlfriend. Well, now ex-girlfriend. It took her a bit long to come to her senses but I’m happy she finally did.” She turned to Yangyang and slapped him in the back of his head. “See, you never even mentioned her name, you idiot! You’re gross, honestly” Jimin said with a disgusted expression.
Donghyuck smiled slightly at Jimin’s comment, but none of them saw him but you. Was it just your idea or did he look extra fine today?
Jimin walked to your side and linked her arm with yours. “Now if you will excuse us boys, we have to talk about girl things, mhm?” Jimin said and dragged you away from them, leaving them walking behind you.
“So, I thought of the perfect idea” Jimin whispered, lowering her head.
“About what?” you asked.
“You will make a quiz and send it to him” Jimin said. You stopped at your track to take in what she just said. “What?”
“You want to confess to Donghyuck, right? So I did some research and came across this quiz that you supposedly send to your crush and then they have to respond and send it back to you I guess. What do you think?” Jimin said.
“It sounds childish. Yeah I don’t think it will work” you said.
“But why? Let’s give it a try. Please” Jimin whined and you couldn’t do anything but agree with her. “Okay, listen. I’ll see what I’ll do. If I feel confident enough to send it to him then we’re good, otherwise we’ll have to think of something else” you said.
Jimin screeched and hugged you tightly. “Thank you thank you thank you! Oh my god, I really think it will work. Plus, it’s not gonna be a face to face confession so don’t be nervous about it. You got this. I’ll meet you later after classes to work on it. Love you bestie!” Jimin said and ran off to her class, leaving you walking on your own in the campus.
Maybe her idea wasn’t that bad after all. This couldn’t go too wrong, right?
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Later that day you met Jimin at your favorite café. You found her sitting at your usual table, scrolling on her phone.
Yangyang decided to tag along this time too. You bumped into him on your way out of campus and invited him for coffee too. You didn’t tell Jimin about it, but you were sure she wouldn’t mind.
You sat down next to her, and Yangyang went for the seat on the other side of the table, taking out his phone.
“Let’s start, take out your laptop” Jimin said and you did so. You opened an empty form sheet and stared at the cursor appearing and disappearing on the screen. “Well, how do I start?” you asked.
Jimin took the lead and turned the laptop to her side so that she could type on the keyboard easier. “So, we'll start with his name. Write something like, ‘Hi Donghyuck, if you’re receiving this it’s because I have a big fat crush on you and I don’t know how to tell you-‘”
“Shhhh,” you interrupted her “don’t say his name” you whisper shouted.
Yangyang raised his head from his phone screen and joined the conversation. “Don’t worry about it bestie, it’s not as if we don’t know about it. It’s so obvious that you like Hyuck to the point it hurts my eyes every time I see you looking at him. Can’t you be more discreet about it? What the fuck are you two even doing by the way?”
You were left speechless and kept blinking, staring at Yangyang. Of course he would figure it out, he’s been your best friend since you were literally babies. You shouldn’t be surprised by this.
“We’re making a confession quiz to help Y/n tell Donghyuck that she likes him. I saw it online and apparently it works wonders” Jimin said.
Yangyang stayed silent for a few seconds before he started laughing hysterically. You and Jimin looked at each other and then back at Yangyang, waiting for him to stop with his laughing outburst. 
You waited until he finally caught his breath, wiping a tear that slipped from the corner of his eye with his finger. “You guys are seriously so funny” he said.
“What's so funny about it, Yangyang? Hm?” Jimin asked him.
“I just find it such a stupid idea. Don’t you think it’s a bit childish? It won’t work” he said.
“That's what I thought too, but I’m gonna give it a try” you said.
“Okay, whatever” Yangyang said and went back to scrolling on his phone.
“Don’t give him any notice, Y/n. Let’s move on” Jimin said and started typing on the keyboard.
“So, we'll start with questions such as ‘Did you know that I liked you?’ and ‘If yes, then how did you know?’ and then ‘Do you like me back?’ and stuff” Jimin spoke while typing at the same time.
“Wait Jimin, don’t you think these are a bit too straightforward?” you asked. Jimin stopped typing and looked at you dead in the eye. “Are you kidding me? This is how a confession works, hello?” Jimin answered, full of irony. Through the corner of your eye, you saw Yangyang scoffing.
“Okay so next,” Jimin started typing again “you need to ask him the important stuff, which is what he thinks of you. And that includes what his first impression of you was, how attractive he finds you and how much he likes your personality.”
“How about we ask him something like ‘Is this awkward?’ because trust me, it probably is” you were the one who suggested a question this time.
Jimin wasn’t entirely sure if you were joking or not, be she agreed and typed it after the previous one. “Now, let’s end it with a precious moment between the two of you. One that he remembers, it might be anything” Jimin said.
She typed fast, her fingers running on top of the keyboard. Her eyes never left the screen, following the letters without even peaking at the keyboard to see what she was typing. She then pressed the enter key with all her strength and sat back on her chair. “And we’re done. It’s sent” she said.
The moment she said that the quiz was sent, you started trembling. You didn’t feel nervous up until that point. What if everything went downhill after this? It’s just a stupid quiz, you thought. Sure, the quiz was stupid, but your crush wasn’t. You were worried that once Dongyuck sees the quiz, he’ll start seeing you differently. You were only hoping that this differently didn’t mean negative, because if it did, your entire relationship with him would change. And you didn’t want to lose such an important person in your life over a not-so-stupid crush.
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You didn’t see Donghyuck on campus the next day. You were sure about it because ever since Jimin sent him the confession quiz, he hasn’t left your mind. You kept looking for him everywhere but not because you wanted to see him. It was rather the opposite. You knew that if you saw his face after knowing that you had confessed to him, you wouldn’t be able to utter a single word. You avoided him.
You had to thank him, though, for making your job easier. Not a single sight of him on campus for the entire day. Good news.
But the bad news was that he didn’t text you throughout the day at all, which was odd. He would usually ask to meet at the park, or just text you about not anything of importance. But there was no sign of him that day.
A lot of thoughts formed in your mind at the same time. In the worst case scenario, there was something wrong with him. In the best case scenario, he felt way too awkward because of the confession quiz and he didn’t want to do anything with you. You couldn’t explain how this was the best case scenario, but you were worried sick about him. So you hoped for the latter.
You didn’t want to text him or call him though. You wanted to avoid him, right? Your current behavior didn’t match the confidence you had a couple days ago. It felt like you were more intimate with him now, you had exposed a piece of your inner self and you were scared that your actions would make him feel uncomfortable.
Yet, you decided to give him time. You wanted to wait for his response. Whatever it would be. You thought that your confession would help you ease your mind, but you’ve been thinking about him even more now. What if he didn’t feel the same? Of course, you would respect his feelings. You can’t force people to like you, or love you. But deep down, you knew it would hurt. You would still continue to love him even if he didn’t love you back. You cannot turn on and off feelings like a light switch. Loving him took a long time and getting over him would take even longer. You didn’t want to get over him. You probably couldn’t. So you wanted to keep loving him and hoped that maybe, there was a slight chance that he would love you back.
However, you didn’t see Donghyuck on campus the day after that either. But this time, you didn’t know if it was because you were avoiding him or because he just didn’t come to any of his classes.
Worry washed over you when neither Yangyang or Jimin had heard of him. “I thought he would be talking with you” Yangyang told you. Yeah, you thought the same thing.
After your classes ended for the day, you decided to go by his dorm and see him in person. You still felt like avoiding him but you didn’t have another choice at this point. You wanted to see him.
You put on your earphones and let the music keep you company while walking. Your heart rate was slowly increasing with each step you took, but you couldn’t explain if it was because you felt anxious or because your heart followed the beat of the music.
After listening to a couple of songs, you found yourself standing right outside Donghyuck’s dorm door. Taking off your earphones, you stood there still, waiting. You raised your arm hesitantly, knuckles touching the wooden surface of the door. You slightly pulled your hand away from the door and then your knuckles touched the door again.
Knock. Knock.
You drew a step back, arm falling to your side. And you waited.
One, two, three, four, five, si-
Donghyuck appeared behind the door, wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a t-shirt, hair messy and eyes droopy.
“Hi, um, sorry d-did I wake you up?” you said.
“Um, no it’s fine, uh, is there something wrong?” Donghyuck said, rubbing his eye with his fingers.
And then you noticed the flush color painting his cheeks and the way he kept his eyes on the ground, not trying to maintain eye contact.
“I was just worried, you know? We haven’t seen you in two days and I just wanted to see if you-“
“I’m fine Y/n, there’s nothing to worry about, now please, I was in the middle of something so, uh, I’ll see you later, bye” Donghyuck interrupted you and closed the door right in your face, without even sparing you a glance.
What was this all about? Why was he acting like this?
You blinked away the tears that were forming in the corners of your eyes and walked away.
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“Girl, you’re not the one avoiding him, he’s the one avoiding you!” Jimin said, munching on a cheeseburger. 
She swallowed her bite and spoke again. “What I think is, he’s in love with you too, but he’s an even bigger coward than I thought he was. I believe he got so flustered by the quiz we sent him, but don’t worry, he’ll come to his senses sooner or later.”
You rested your head on your palm and sighed heavily. “I don’t know Jiminie, his behavior is so confusing lately. I kinda regret sending him that quiz”.
“Uh oh, don’t say that again. You confessed and well done for that, so now it’s up to him to decide how the relationship between you two will go. Don’t blame yourself for how a man thinks. You never know what goes on inside those pea sized brains of theirs” Jimin said.
“So you say that he’s ignoring me because he likes me back?” you asked, a question which was addressed more to yourself.
“That's exactly what I’m saying,” Jimin said. “I mean, he couldn’t even look at you and his cheeks were all blushy and stuff? Girl, do we see the same things? Because this clearly shows he has lost his shit over you.”
You remained silent for a while, leaving Jimin to eat her cheeseburger in peace and allowing yourself to sort all of your thoughts that were scrambled inside your mind. Maybe she was right. Again. Her intuition regarding people’s feelings and behaviors is remarkable. She always left you wondering how she could be so good at reading other people.
You thought you were good at it too, until this boy named Lee Donghyuck came into your life. It wasn't that hard to understand him as a little boy, but now that you’re all adults, it seems like he has built walls around his heart and it’s not easy to read him anymore. The problem was that you didn’t know why he did this. He used to allow himself to be open and vulnerable with you. At least you thought so.
Now you are left wondering what’s in his mind and what is it that makes him act this way. Was the quiz that awkward? Did he see you in a different way now?
Questions like this kept messing with you and you wished you could unsend that quiz if it were to prevent this outcome. But you decided to give him a little bit more time. You were friends after all, right? Friends always come back to each other, no matter what. Right?
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The next couple of days Donghyuck had been ignoring you still. Jimin said there was no point in feeling sad about it and that he would just snap one moment and realize what an asshole he was.
You hadn’t told Yangyang about any of that. He had mentioned the quiz once, asking you something like how you made it and what you wrote exactly, but nothing more specific about Donghyuck. So you decided to let it go, he wouldn’t understand anyway.
You were sitting at the park alone, leaning against a tree while watching the sun slowly hiding behind the hill, waiting for the moon to rise and take its place in the sky. The cheerful screams of little kids were gradually fading away and the park was becoming quieter, the only sound interrupting the silence from time to time was the barking of dogs.
You felt peaceful. You found a moment in time to have for yourself, a small escape from all of last week’s dramatic events. You breathed in the fresh air, you let your body relax and your mind roam around the scenery of nature in front of you.
This inner serenity didn’t last long though. Your phone chimed in your pocket and the screen lit up, the intense brightness hurting your eyes due to the contrast with the now darker sky.
You lowered the brightness in order to take a better look at the text on your screen. You squinted your eyes a bit further, this time not because of the brightness.
[Hyuck]
i really need to talk to you
it’s important
you know where to find me
i’m at your favorite place
You kept rereading Donghyuck’s texts over and over. So he ignores me for days and now all of a sudden he wants us to meet and he puzzles me with a riddle? What the hell?
You turned off your phone and stared blankly in front of you, trying to think of what place Donghyuck was talking about. You didn’t even care about what he wanted to tell you. You had to find him first.
The gears inside your brain got to work, spinning quickly and digging through your memories to help you find the answer. But you were already in your favorite place. The park. At least it was your favorite at the moment. So if he were at the park, where could he be? You would be able to see him by now.
The gears in your brain suddenly stopped moving and the light bulb shone brightly above your head. You knew exactly where he was. And it wasn’t the park. You grabbed your things quickly and rushed out of the park, heading towards the place you could never imagine that you’ll ever see again.
You had been walking for only ten minutes and your legs were hurting and started feeling wobbly. The one time you actually needed your bike, you didn’t have it. A sigh left your lips and you continued walking, looking at your phone from time to time in case Donghyuck texted you something else or called you.
You could tell that you were almost there by the red and gold lighting attacking your eyes, contrasting with the darkness of your surroundings. You squinted your eyes as a reaction to the sudden appearance of light, walking towards the source of red and gold. The smell of butter popcorn lured you in and that’s how you knew you were at the exact place you needed to be.
You stood under the bright sign, the same white balloons climbing up the pillars on each side of the gate, confetti sprinkled and glued in between them, fairy lights trailing upwards to the glowing sign. ‘Welcome to Dreamland’.
You stood in awe. You never thought you would visit this place again. It's been years since the last time you visited the amusement park and it felt strange yet so familiar sitting there, looking at the place that felt like your childhood home.
Your eyes were roaming around and you just stood still, not moving a single step further. For a moment, you had forgotten the reason why you were there in the first place.
The scent of the familiar cologne was roaming in the air, snapping you out of your thoughts. Donghyuck cleared his throat and you turned around to face him.
He looked beautiful. The lights of the amusement park were reflecting in his eyes, his hair fell softly covering his forehead, his plump lips curved upwards to a smile.
You noticed that he held his arms behind his back, but you didn’t question it. You just stared right into his eyes, just like he stared into yours. “Hi” he said, his voice blurred among the music and random screams from little kids running around the amusement park.
“Hi” you greeted him back, and then both of you remained silent, looking at each other. Your eyes started stinging from keeping them open for a long time, so you lowered your gaze to your feet.
Donghyuck sensed the awkwardness and cleared his throat again before he spoke up. “I’m sorry, Y/n” he said.
Your head jolted up at the sound of his honey voice and your gaze locked in with his. You parted your lips to speak, but he beat you to it. “I’m sorry. I know my behavior was shit. I was an asshole. I was ignoring you when I shouldn’t. I’m surprised that you came to see me after the way I treated you. So thank you" he said.
You didn’t want to speak. You didn’t have the courage to do so, but you also didn’t know what to tell him. Instead, you waited for him to continue talking.
Donghyuck’s gaze shifted from your eyes to other places around him and he pursed his lips. “You know, I received that quiz you sent me” he trailed off.
You gulped at the mention of the quiz and suddenly your heartbeat picked up a pace so fast that was probably beyond human.
“I didn’t-” Donghyuck started, “I didn’t send it back to you because I wanted to answer it now, with you here” he said.
You found yourself incapable of speaking at that moment. You simply nodded and diverted your gaze back to your feet.
“Please look at me Y/n” Donghyuck said and you froze, slowly lifting your head to see him looking directly at you. You could tell he was nervous by the way he inhaled sharply and the soft red color that painted his cheeks.
“I didn’t know you felt this way about me,” he started, “so when I saw that quiz I was so troubled. Maybe you were obvious with it, maybe not, but what’s certain is that I was too nervous around you to even notice anything.”
You tried to process his words and come to a conclusion. Everything that came out of his mouth didn’t make sense to you. Why would he be nervous around me?
Donghyuck gulped and continued. “Do you remember how we met?” he asked, but the question was mostly addressed to himself rather than you. You smiled at the memory. How could you forget such a pretty boy?
“It was here, this exact place. We were both running, we bumped into each other, fell down and then dropped your cotton candy” he said and started laughing. You did the same.
“And then we became friends. Inseparable friends. You have always been the sweetest friend I’ve ever had. You are kind, funny, you make me feel comfortable, you’re always there for me even though I behave so shitty sometimes” he said.
“And you’re so beautiful. I find myself staring at you when you’re looking away and I just ask myself how can a person be this beautiful” he said, his voice getting gradually quieter, just a little bit louder than a whisper.
“Do you know why I stopped contacting you when I left?” Donghyuck asked, this time the question addressed to you.
You cleared your throat before speaking, voice barely audible. “No.” It was the first time you spoke after greeting him.
Donghyuck shifted a bit, balancing his weight on one leg. “Because I liked you so much I couldn’t bear talking to you, knowing that I wasn’t able to see you, touch you and tell you how much I missed you” he said. “I thought that maybe, if I didn’t talk to you again, maybe it would hurt less than it did.”
You felt your lips drying, eyes widening upon hearing these words. This can’t be real. Yes, you wanted him to like you back, but you never expected it to be true. Even if you believed in a slight chance that he might like you back, it never occurred to you that it might actually be true.
“Hyuck, what are you talking about?” you asked him, not believing a single word he was saying.
“I’m talking about how much I like you, Y/n. Fuck, I might even be in love with you. I don’t know, I always get this weird feeling around you and I can’t get it to stop! I keep thinking about you and how I want to be able to kiss you without finding excuses with these stupid spin the bottle games! I like you so fucking much Y/n, I don’t know how to act.”
You stood still, frozen. So this is really happening, you thought. All this time you were worried about your feelings for Donghyuck when he was feeling the exact same way towards you. Your heart fluttered to the sound of his confession and you felt like smiling so hard until your cheeks hurt.
“Please say something Y/n” Donghyuck whispered. You didn’t say anything though. You didn’t have to. Instead, you took a couple steps further and stood right in front of him, placing your hands on each side of his neck, smacking your lips onto his.
He responded immediately, parting his lips slightly to kiss you back. He removed one arm from behind his back to cup your cheek with his hand and he kissed you gently and genuinely.
The knot in your stomach was untied, releasing the butterflies it had been holding in for so long. Donghyuck’s plump lips moved in sync with yours, his soft touch on your cheek sending streaks of warmth down your entire body.
You slowly pulled back to catch your breath, looking at him in his eyes, both of you smiling as hard as ever. “Of course I like you too, dumbass. I’ve liked you ever since I met you.” You said and Donghyuck smiled even harder than before, if it was even possible.
You removed your hands from his neck, dropping them to your side. “What is behind your back?” you asked him eagerly.
Donghyuck dropped his hand from your cheek too and brought his other arm from behind his back, only to reveal a stick of fluffy pink cotton candy.
Your eyes widened at the sight. It was the last thing you expected to see.
“You know, I promised to buy you one because I had dropped it when we bumped into each other, but I never had the chance to do that, so...” Dongyuck said and you slammed your body into his arms, grinning hard and laughing.
You squeezed him tightly and he returned your embrace, wrapping his arms around your waist, his head finding its way to rest in the crook of your neck.
“I think I love you, Donghyuck” you softly said in his ear.
Donghyuck’s grip on you tightened more and he breathed in. “Y/n, I know I love you” he said, just loud enough so that you and only you could hear him.
Donghyuck pulled back slightly so that he could see your face. He was still holding you tightly, as if he physically couldn’t let you go. As you were lost in the pool of honey in his eyes, he spoke with a low voice. “Do you think you’ll finally be able to beat me in bumper cars?” he said.
You laughed at his question and his smile grew wider to the sound. “No, you’re too slow. I actually pity you” you said.
Donghyuck poked the inside on his cheek with his tongue and raised his eyebrow at your answer. “Oh yeah? Let’s find out, bitchass” he said and linked his fingers with yours to guide you to the amusement park.
Just like that, your heart was full. It was right at the place it needed to be from the very beginning. It was finally home.
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The doorbell chimed behind you and a chill breeze entered the inside of the diner for a brief second. You didn’t have to turn your head to realize that a group of high school kids entered the diner, their voices were too loud and annoying. You rolled your eyes and popped a french fry into your mouth.
It’s been about two weeks since you and Donghyuck made it official. You agreed to start a relationship that very night you confessed to each other outside the amusement park. Donghyuck only agreed to go out with you if he won three consecutive races at the bumper cars ride. Turns out you ended up crashing his car in every single round, but Donghyuck kept on saying that he didn’t really mean what he said and kissed you into agreeing to go on another date with him.
You were happy. Ever since you started dating, you found yourself enjoying the time you spent with Donghyuck even more than you did before. It’s not that many things changed, it was mostly the same things you used to do. The only difference was that neither of you was afraid to express their true feelings anymore.
You and Donghyuck were sitting next to each other at the diner booth. Donghyuck had his arm wrapped around your shoulder, while he used his other arm to grab french fries from the bowl on your table. You agreed to buy just one bowl of french fries to ease your appetite before you ordered your actual meals.
Donghyuck was talking to you about the drive-in cinema that will start working again next week. He said that they would be playing one of his favorite movies, so he practically begged you to go with him and treat it as a date as well.
“What are you guys talking about?” you heard Jimin’s voice and you looked up to see that she had just arrived with Yangyang standing there next to her. 
“Oh hey guys, we didn’t hear you entering. I was telling Y/n about the drive-in, it’ll be open again next week. Wanna go-wait-” Donghyuck started saying, but he cut himself off when he noticed that Yangyang was holding Jimin’s hand.
“Dude what?” Donghyuck asked again and you sat there staring at your friends with eyes wide open. Jimin and Yangyang were grinning at your and Donghyuck’s reactions, before they went to sit on the booth opposite of yours.
“Yup, it is exactly what you think it is. Now, what were you saying about the drive-in?” Yangyang casually joined in the conversation without addressing the matter that clearly needed to be addressed.
“Jimin, why didn’t you tell me about this? How long have you guys been going out?” you said smiling at your friends.
“Not that long, just a few days after you guys. See, I was going to tell you about it Y/n, but Yangyang thought it would be funnier if we just showed up one random day like this and let you guys figure it out on your own” Jimin said and Yangyang kissed her forehead before wrapping his arm around her shoulder.
“Yeah, turns out that stupid quiz you girls thought of works wonders” Yangyang said and popped one french fry that he stole from the bowl.
“Wait, Yangyang, you were the one to send Jimin the quiz? Oh how the tables turn” you said and he waved you off.
You weren’t even the slightest bit surprised that Yangyang and Jimin were dating now. Honestly, it was quite obvious that there was something going on between them, but both of them were way too stubborn to admit it. Was it that way with you and Donghyuck too?
The four of you spent time at the diner that night. The feeling of being carefree and relaxed around your friends reminded you of the time you used to spend all together back in high school. It really felt as if you never lost touch with one another, everything was back to normal. Except this time, your heart felt at ease too.
It was getting quite late and the diner was almost empty now. The four of you didn’t really have the heart to check the time and make a move to get up and leave, you were having way too much time to just call it a night.
You had now ordered a second round of drinks, non-alcoholic though because none of you was really that good at staying sober. Instead, you just stuck with fizzy drinks and sodas.
Yangyang emptied out his second bottle of coke before he slammed it on the table. He licked his lips and sighed. “Wow, this was a good one” he said. But this wasn’t the only thing he had in mind. You could tell by the smugness of his expression.
Yangyang smirked and then lifted his head to flash one of his signature wide grins. “I don’t wanna go home yet, guys. So, who’s up for a game of spin the bottle?” he asked.
Jimin kicked his leg under the table, Donghyuck sat up and smacked him in the head and you stretched your arm to pinch his nose. The four of you burst out laughing, thinking about how things would have turned out if it wasn’t for Yangyang’s stupid ideas.
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luna-lovegreat · 5 months
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Triple Threat Time
The Terror Trio
Legend, Hyrule, and Wild are known as the Triple Threat and I love them.
@breannasfluff for you, m'lady
Legend and Wild
These two are the most over looked.
And from the very beginning, we have a ton of examples of them just. Being. Near each other.
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Like magnets
We can trace back to the moment these two really connected and spent more time with each other... which was of COURSE over girlfriend trauma
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That's one of our first Legend being soft moments, showing true empathy. And Wild found that Legend could be understanding of his hurt- this is where they connected beyond just being closer than most
The main point in the plot with Legend and Wild is when they split off into groups
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They went together, and this interaction shows that with these three, Legend is the common sense filter that keeps the other two from falling off of cliffs
Wild: I wanted to climb the mountain!
Leg: there is literally a cliff to fall off of right there
One of the things I love most about about Legend and Wild is they understand each other
We have multiple examples of them literally stating facts about the other in coversation.
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"I know you love to tease" "you break everything" "you're not usually impressed"
They just state facts about each other because they get each other and understand
Wild and Hyrule
Ah yes. The two that have so many similarities in which they give the rest of the chain heart attacks
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They both have the insecurity about knighthood. Hyrule because he's never felt adequate, and Wild feels like he only used to be.
They both hate maps (who needs them, right? *promptly gets lost*)
They do not care about injury at all. "I can walk off a broken leg for sure it'll be fine"
When left alone these two nearly die. Like every time. Love them.
Here's a lot of them hanging out:
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Legend and Hyrule
The downfall duo
These two are from the same timeline, the downfall timeline, and there are certain connections coming from the same world. I think that their world made them have a similar fighting style because of how it's developed.
They are around each other mostly
And they always fight together
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Here's my take on these two: Legends more confident because he's done so much. Hyrule's less confident because he didn't have such an insane number of adventures.
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Legend's been through enough to know this is ganon's fault, not his. Hyrule's been through little enough (even with insanely hard adventures) that he has much more insecurity.
These two are quite possibly the most skilled in survival, because of no formal knight training. Instead of having perfect swordsmanship, they have tools (legend) and spells (hyrule) to fight in a world that was so much harder.
Which of course relates to wild who woke up in a cave, found a sword and winged it.
That's their relationships two on two
Legend and wild: power team, overlooked but so so close
Wild and Hyrule: do not let them near fire
Legend and Hyrule (downfall duo): They fight together and they are a pair
Combined these three make a Triple Threat
They also have dynamics with all three of them combined
Bestest moments of them:
When turned into a bunny, Legend mentioned both Hyrule and Wild as the ones he was worried about seeing him that way
In both scenes of Wild breaking swords Legend or Hyrule was there
When Wild was injured, they both somehow lost their senses and freaked out about him being dead (lol)
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But with all of them they understand each other
Wild and Hyrule know Legend is grumpy and rude- they don't care, he's their brother. As the one who appreciates maps, he keeps both from getting even closer to dying
Hyrule: he feels accepted. These two make him feel like he has a place and is valuable to those with similarities.
Hyrule and Legend don't care about Wild's odd traits, they know that he breaks stuff and gets hurt often.
Proof
!!!! Looking at their scenes (in my screenshots above too), this is clear: all three of them have more examples than most of them being next to or near the others
Plus all the adventures and scenes of them- they fight and wander together- they are on this journey with each other
Because they understand each other, they spend time with each other. With nine people in the chain, when a few are around each other this much rather than the others, it makes it very clear how close they are, since they simply want to be near each other.
Here's my very favourite picture that perfectly sums up the three of them:
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Legend: grrrr
Hyrule: excited
Wild: still can't put his hands on his hips properly
And these three combined... we've got constantly injured, set fire to everything, get lost a ton, snarky rudeness galore, plus swords and tools and magic, and that makes them a threat
(one thing I want to point out. you can see this by looking at the screenshots in this post. with the chain, much of figuring out who is close is simply who is near each other. looking at their interactions and the times they are hanging out as a group, Four is most often near and hanging out with these three rather than the others, so I think he is also very close to them and feels comfortable with them. do with that what you will.)
Yeah! Terror Trio.
:)
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bethanydelleman · 2 months
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George Wickham isn't bad in that way (which is the best thing I can say about him)
A lot of online discussions label Wickham from Pride & Prejudice as a pedophile because both of his victims, Georgiana Darcy and Lydia Bennet, were 15/16 years old. However, I am very certain this was not Jane Austen's point, and it also papers over the big differences between Georgiana's and Lydia's cases.
(This post isn't graphic but I'll put the rest under the jump)
Firstly, Georgiana's age was about her vulnerability to manipulation, not attraction. If Georgiana was older and out, she probably would have not fallen for Wickham and agreed to run away because she would have had other competing choices and more information about the engagement and marriage process. The time is chosen because she is ignorant, under the care of someone who is willing to betray her, and Wickham wants her money. I'm pretty sure he would have gone for her fortune even if he was adverse to her appearance.
Secondly, Lydia runs away with Wickham because she is following her mother's misguided, "husband at any cost" philosophy, there is no evidence in the book that this was a premeditated plan of his. The plot to elope with Georgiana was premeditated, but from everything in the book, Wickham was running away from debt and brought Lydia along for funsies because she offered. The point of Lydia's elopement is that she was too young, too ignorant, and not well protected. Her parents made a huge error in judgment allowing her to go to a place where she might fall victim to something like this. If it wasn't Wickham, it could have easily have been someone else, like Willoughby, almost the same thing happens to Eliza Williams under nearly the same circumstances.
Thirdly, the age of consent was 14 at the time and Lydia at least was "out". So culturally, he's going for people who would be considered "women" though most people at the time also would have thought they were marrying too early. So many people in the novel say Lydia is too young. (The average age of first marriage was 23.4 (Women's History of Britian, 2005)). Also, I think Jane Austen, who rarely describes anyone in detail, going out of her way to make Lydia the tallest of the sisters and also describing Georgiana as very tall, and describing both of them as fully developed, was her making the point that this wasn't Wickham having an attraction to prepubescent girls. Not that liking barely legal girls is great, but it's more like a modern guy dating 18 year olds when he's 30 icky than illegal.
It was about how girls who are too young are far more vulnerable to mistakes, empty promises, and manipulation.
So yeah, Wickham is the worst, but he's not that bad. This is the most I will ever say in his defence. I hold out a fond hope that he died in battle and Lydia gets a second chance at life. Or ran like the coward he is and then was court marshalled.
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puranami · 6 months
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✿ It's The Little Things - 3 ✿
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A/N: @leafyturtle come get y'all Franky and Robin fluff! I'm excited for this one, lotsa faves in here >:3c
Summary: Little relationship things with (currently) anime/manga exclusives ✿
Characters: Franky, Robin, Law, Kid, Killer
Content: SFW, G/N reader, language in Kid's (bc it's Kid lol) bottomless fluff ✿
(Part 1 - Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji) (Part 2 - Buggy, Shanks, Mihawk) (Part 4 - Crocodile, Rosinante, Doflamingo)
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Franky
✿ Multiply his self-aggrandizing by 100, and that's how he sees you; he is your personal hype man! Every single insecurity, no matter how big or small, will be kissed away, because you are perfect, and you should definitely tell people as such. Wait, you're too shy and don't want to? No worries, Franky's got you, and he'll tell everyone himself. Loudly. No, he won't stop or tone it down; "The world needs to know how super you are!" He loves when you hype him up in turn, and uses it to show you how great self confidence is; and it will rub off on you. He's so proud when you declare how amazing you are, even if it's just to him! "AOW! That's right, babe, you are amazing!" He'll pick you up in those huge, strong arms of his, practically crushing you in a bear hug.
✿ Franky loves to make you any and all gadgets he thinks you'd like, or need. Just as he is constantly upgrading his body, he develops and re-develops things that make your life easier, or that bit cooler! While he likes to surprise you with them, seeing how your eyes light up in wonder as he shows you how it works, he loves it even more when you're involved in the building process; brainstorming ideas, designing, picking out the colour palette, he'll even let you use a blowtorch, just, please be careful, wait what was that twinkle of mischief in your eyes? Okay, no more blowtorch - leave it to the pro! It would kill him if you got hurt on his watch, he's meant to protect you!
✿ He's made up a comfy little alcove in his workshop so you can keep him company while he's working. Soft cushions, blankets, lights so can work on your own hobbies, it's perfect! Even when you were just friends, you were always welcome there, and it's become your little safe space. It's comfy enough to fall asleep there when Franky works late, and he even modified it so that there is room for him to sleep there too. While hanging out, you'll talk about everything, and nothing, what you're both working on, or you'll simply listen to music and enjoy each others presence, and that often leads to loud singing, especially on Franky's part. He'll share his cola with you too, you just bring the snacks - can't work on an empty stomach after all!
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Robin
✿ Robin is very calm and reserved, especially compared to the rest of the crew, so her way of showing affection follows the same pattern. She'll put a gentle hand on your arm, and touch your foreheads together, but her favourite thing to do is to grow an arm out of your own, reaching down to hold your hand, all while on the other side of the room, smiling to herself. If your eyes are sharp, you'll catch the delicate blush on her cheeks when you bring your arm up to kiss her hand, or gently hold it to your cheek. She'll also make a pair of arms to wrap around your waist, or shoulders if you're sat down. She'll hold you personally too, but that is saved for your private quarters or the library.
✿ Part of her flirting is making dark comments and jokes; "I know the best way to your heart, dear." - "Through my stomach?" - "Oh no, that's not very efficient! It's anywhere between the 2nd and 4th ribs." She'll say it with such a loving gaze and gentle smile, and if you didn't know Robin better, you'd be worried she was plotting your murder, but that's just how she is, and you love her for it. She will also tell you all the gruesome details she finds in her books and research. Part of you suspects that she's purposefully trying to spook you so she can comfort you, but really she just finds these thing fascinating. Robin will be ecstatic if you can match her gallows humour, or if you have morbid facts of your own you can share with her.
✿ She takes great comfort in the fact that you love her unconditionally, and that you have always accepted her as she is, morbid interests, and former associations included, and she makes sure that you know she loves you all the same, no matter your quirks, flaws, and mistakes, for that is the beauty of love! You are each others port in the unrelenting storm of life.
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Law
✿ Law is so used to losing the people he loves most, so for him to open up, it will take a lot of time, patience, and understanding. You can't push him on things, and will have to wait for him to come to you - he needs to feel like he has some control over the situation so he can make better judgement calls, and do something if it all goes wrong. It's nothing personal, he just doesn't want to helplessly watch his world fall apart again; he's older, smarter, and much stronger now, he will keep those he cares about safe. Once he's at that point where he feels like he's ready to be open and honest, he is completely dedicated and doggedly loyal, though he isn't very expressive with it.
✿ He shows his love through acts of service; making sure you are eating and sleeping well, tending any injuries you get in day to day life, moving you if you've fallen asleep in a weird place or position so you don't get any aches and pains, or catch a cold. Law hopes that you can feel the love he has for you in each action. He just wants to know you are healthy and well so he doesn't need to worry about you. Well, he says that, but he still worries, he can't help it. You'll need to use his own tactics against him to make sure he actually sleeps and eats instead of just working. It won't always work, sometimes he's working on things that are far too important, but he will relent otherwise.
✿ PDA is not a thing for him. At all. It's almost like he doesn't want to jinx things with the world seeing he has entrusted his heart with another again. On the Polar Tang, when it's just you and the crew, he'll be a little more open, placing a hand on your head or shoulder, matching your pace as he walks beside you, slightly gentler eyes, and the hint of a smile; so subtle, yet the crew sees right through him, and they like to tease you both. Nothing serious, but it still gets them the worst chores in response. In private, when you are alone is the only time will he allow himself to be vulnerable.
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Kid
✿ Given how intense and aggressive he is, you have the patience of a goddamn saint, and guts to back you up. He refuses to lessen himself for anyone; he is who he is, and you can either accept it and embrace him fully, or you can, in his words, "Fuck right off!" It will take a lot to break through the immense barriers he has - he will shout, argue, insult, and to get through, you have to be able to withstand that without crumbling. Shout back! Show him you're not gonna let anyone walk all over you, not even him, earn his respect, then you can build up from there. Once you've wormed your way into that exclusive club of 'We aren't Killer, but Kid still cares about us," he will be ride or die with you, and when he realises he genuinely likes you, or hell, even loves you, he would burn down the world for you if you asked him to.
✿ Out in public, you get no special treatment. It's just safer that way. He can't afford to be looking over his shoulder every other minute to make sure no one is trying to get to him through you. He'll still keep an eye on you of course, but it's indistinguishable from him watching over the rest of the crew. On the Victoria Punk he will be possessive, but not affectionate. Kid will keep you by his side, or drag you onto his lap, just generally manhandling you really, there will be no mistaking who you belong to. Once you're alone he will actually soften up; he knows he's a lot, and he cares deep down, but he's still in charge, he is your captain after all. You should take advantage of this time to get all the affection out of him that you can!
✿ You're one of the few that are actually allowed to hang in his workshop, as long as you don't bother him. He'll entertain some conversation if he's just setting up, or having a break, but once he's in the zone, zip it. He's fine with you watching him work - he's good at what he does and he knows it, but seeing the admiration in your eyes is a nice ego boost. He'll make you things if the mood hits him, particularly bits of jewellery, as it makes it easier to manhandle you from the other side of the room. He's a busy man, he doesn't want to wait for you to look his way and walk over, he wants your attention now!
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Killer
✿ Like Kid, Killer has a tendency to manhandle, but it's not nearly as aggressive; he's a big guy with big, strong muscles, and he just enjoys hauling you around like a sack of potatoes. It gives him the opportunity to hold you close, 'accidentally' touch your butt, and your laughter through it all is just so sweet. He greatly enjoys your presence when he's going about his day, and deeply appreciates any assistance you can offer, such as in the kitchen, and certainly when trying to manage his idiot best friend and crew, as he's essentially the de facto caretaker on board. Often you'll end up sat on his shoulders, acting as an extra pair of eyes and hands - no shenanigans go unnoticed!
✿ You have become an expert at reading Killer's moods and expressions through his mask, every slight shift of his body, and the angle of his head has a very specific meaning. It doesn't help that he's a quiet man in general; balancing Kid's incessant ranting and raving with his well thought out, straight to the point statements. He much prefers to listen to you talk, only talking when he has something to add to the mostly one-sided conversation. He loves having these 'chats' with you sat in his lap, head resting against his broad chest. Sometimes his goatee will tickle the top of your head, and he lives for those giggles.
✿ It will take a long time for him to feel comfortable enough to remove his mask, and you can bet he refuses to laugh around you for the longest time. Just be patient with him, and let him do things when he's ready, and don't make a big deal out of it if something slips; he'll be pretty mortified, so just giving him a loving smile and a gentle touch will reassure him that maybe the things he's insecure about, or straight up hates, aren't as big an issue as he believes them to be. Telling him he is perfect is appreciated, but not effective in building him up, since nothing is perfect really, but seeing you love him unconditionally certainly will give him a boost.
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atalienart · 3 months
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What are your tips on improving writing?
I don't think I'm at the level to give such tips. I myself try to read a lot of different books and learn from the authors that way. I watch youtube writing channels that talk about story structure, character development, or give advice how to improve prose and what to avoid. It's good to have someone who can look at your writing and give some feedback too. Also, I write. After some time, when I go back to my writing, I can see the mistakes better.
I can share some things that I've learnt from others and I think are good advice, for example:
use strong verbs (the person may walk but may also stroll, march or tiptoe);
there are more interesting verbs than to be;
weave description into action (The building was big. She walked towards it. ➜ She lifted her head as the stone walls grew before her. or He took the book in his hand nervously. He was tall, had brown hair and was wearing glasses. ➜ He reached for the high shelf without an effort. Book in hand, he pushed glasses up his nose to read the title - "Magic spells to improve writing." "This is it," he murmured, nervously running fingers through his brown hair.) (or some shit like that);
write sentences of different length so they don't sound monotonous;
If you want to write quick scenes. Short sentences. Actually. Make them slower. Why? Because periods. Are. Long. Pauses. xD
leave the most important words for the end of the sentence (He was thinking about the woman, while drinking his tea. ➜ He was drinking his tea, thinking about the woman.)
avoid filter words like hear, feel, see, etc. (She heard the noise that startled her. ➜ The noise startled her. or She was startled by the noise. or She jumped at the noise.)
be careful with time shifts (She noticed him behind the trees and smiled. Her beautiful monster. She runs to him and takes his hand and all of a sudden everything is all right. "Where is your hat?" she asks, but he just stares at her. He's always been a monster of few words, soft and quiet, but the lack of answer still surprised her. - is this present or past tense? confusion)
every scene should have a purpose - advance the plot, develop the character, add some conflict; ideally it will do all these things;
white room syndrom is bad - avoid;
use as many characters as you need; if one character can do the work of two, you need only one, scrap the other;
every character should want something!
give a character a desire, fear and misbelief;
Here are some of them. I hope they're useful. (They were useful for me even if I write in Polish :)) Of course some of these are optional but I think they make my writing better. I read somewhere that you should write only necessary words, so I'm trying to go by this rule. This is rather hard btw xD
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its-your-mind · 9 months
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This is a call to action for all the PJO girlies (gender neutral) that I know are sleeper agents on this webbed site
Go read Trials of Apollo. Go do it. Do it right now.
I know what you’re thinking. “Tbh I didn’t love Rick’s writing towards the end of Heroes of Olympus” “There’s no Percy so why bother” “All of the Argo II crew are kinda OOC” and listen my friends. You are so valid to have those opinions. I felt the same way after Blood of Olympus. But listen to me. Look at me.
Now that you have had some time away, you must give these books another try. For me. For Uncle Rick. For the demon baby grain spirit who is only able to say his own name (Peaches).
Do not worry friends, I do not expect you to read just based on my say-so - I also provide:
A list of reasons why you (yes you) should go read the Trials of Apollo series right now gogogo:
(Spoiler warning - all broad plot things that you learn early on, but I know some people (including me) avoid that shit at all costs)
All the chapters are titled in bad haiku. Ya know that one scene in Titan’s Curse where Apollo just starts reciting apropos of nothing? That’s every chapter title. They’re all so bad it’s amazing.
Apollo is so up his own ass about everything, and it’s so cool to experience the same world through the eyes of someone who is not used to being in amongst the chaos
Oh yeah the plot. That’s a reason to read it.
Okay so
Basically Zeus continues his streak of being a shitty shit parent and decides to blame like… every bad thing that has happened on Apollo, and punish him by turning him mortal and enslaving him to a demigod girl named Meg who is a garbage gremlin with a little demon baby guard named Peaches (see above)
And like the A plot is they gotta save the oracles from shitty old Romans who wanna take over the world (stop me if you’ve heard this one before)
But like the B plot is about what it means to discover that you’ve fucked up, you’ve made mistakes, you’ve hurt people, and you gotta fucking own up to that shit
But also
You do not deserve to be punished for every horrible thing that has ever happened because of you, or even around you, and when a parental or authority figure in your life tells you that, they are an abuser and they are wrong
And yet
It can be so hard to fully separate yourself from them. Because for so long, they were all you had.
But that’s okay, because when you start to learn that the people who were supposed to care for you and love you were not actually doing that, there are people around you who will love you, who will support you, who will pick you up and hold you close and make sure you know that you are okay
And they can’t fix you
But they can give you the safe space to fix yourself
hmm that was an essay about themes and metaphors BUT THATS WHY YOU SHOULD READ IT
also there’s a wikipedia arrow who only speaks in Elizabethan prose (in all caps)
OH ALSO ALSO you get to see Will and Nico being a CUTE AS FUCK couple in the first book. Nico smiles. Also makes skeletons grow out of the ground when people annoy him. Fuck I love this little gay death boy so much.
AND. You get to see so MANY of your old friends. And they still! Get! Plot! And! Character! Development!! Even though they are only there for a little bit
OH OH OH there are two old lesbians who run a halfway house for people who are tangled up in magic shit with nowhere else to go
Did I mention Peaches? I did. He’s my favorite.
OH ALSO. This is “unreliable narrator” executed SO FUCKING WELL. Like, all narrators are unreliable. But Apollo used to be a FUCKING GOD. He has not had to deal with the reality of death all that much. He’s used to people praising his name and bowing down at his feet. But that ain’t happening!! And he is Unhappy about that!! But it also lets there be such a clear juxtaposition between what Apollo believes about himself and about the world and what is really true, which is such a wonderful way to write about recovery from trauma.
Ahem
Anyway it’s just real good Uncle Rick continues to knock it out of the park but he just did something different and we (at least I) needed some space from OG PJO fan brain before I could appreciate how fucking awesome this series is.
OH OH OH and if you like audiobooks Robbie Daymond (hello CR mutuals - yes, this is the one who is our beloved Blue Boi who we (Orym) so desperately need returned) is the audiobook narrator and he is. So fucking good. Absolutely NAILS the dramatic-ass-inner-monologue of this dramatic ass ex-deity. Also nails all the other voices as well. 15/10 audiobook narration I’m lichrally gonna go listen to other books JUST cuz he reads them.
okay why the fuck are you still here. GO. GET THESE BOOKS. If your public library does Libby you can absolutely get them on there. GO FORTH.
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hwashotcheeto · 3 months
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𝑩𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝑭𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅'𝒔 𝑴𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 (1)
Best Friend's Mother Masterlist
Chapter: One
Milf!Park Seonghwa X gn!reader
Summary: You finally meet Wooyoung's father, and he isn't who you were expecting at all.
WC: 3.3k
CW: Mostly more plot/character development, but suggestive at the end (teasing, flirting). Wooyoung is a brat (no one is surprised), Seonghwa uses pet names on the reader (darling, dear, (little) doll)
AN: Ahhh, here we go, first official chapter! There's no smut just yet BUT the next chapter will be, promise! I hope you enjoy!
Tag List: @hyunjinsjeans
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You let out a huge sigh of relief as you submitted your final assignment for the semester. You flopped back onto your bed and laughed in relief, feeling your pulsing headache beginning to ebb away. 
The last day of the semester came way faster than you were prepared for. And you weren’t nearly as stressed as your normally would’ve been. 
Maybe because tonight, you and Wooyoung were leaving to go visit his dad. 
Wooyoung told you the next day after you asked that his father responded with an “enthusiastic yes,” and couldn’t wait to meet you. The last week of the semester flew by after that, and now you were here. 
You checked your phone, and you had thirty minutes before you had to meet up with Wooyoung before you started the drive back to his dad’s house. Thankfully, you’d packed most of your things the night before, so you spent your time double and triple checking everything, and collecting everything else you might need. 
And before you knew it, Wooyoung was texting you. 
Heyyyyy
I’m parked outside your dorm, I finished early
Did that essay kill you? 
Come onnnnn, we gotta go sooooooon
You ignored his texts until you were leaving the dorm. You got outside with your bags, being met with the early Winter weather. Cold air, a little bit of snow on the ground. Par for the course for northern November weather. 
Wooyoung got out of the car and helped you with your bags. “Did you bring your whole closet?” He asked as he put them into his trunk. 
“I had to, this is all I have.” 
“Oh, right. Well, you can borrow some of mine if you run out while we’re there.” 
You were going to be with Wooyoung and his dad, and maybe other family, until classes started again in January. A whole month away really was a small vacation, and you were ecstatic to be away from this building with your best friend. 
“Thanks, Wooyoung,” you said softly, hoping you wouldn’t have to bother him with borrowing his clothes. He smiled and motioned for you two to get in the car. 
And then you were off. It wasn’t a long trip, about a forty minute drive, but it felt way shorter to you. You were both incredibly relieved to be away from school, but also incredibly excited for what this Winter Break would hold. 
Your heart was pounding as Wooyoung entered his home town. He hadn’t told you much about where he grew up or where his dad lived, so when Wooyoung drove into a rich suburban neighborhood and pulled into the driveway of an extravagant house you were floored. 
The house was a minimalist, modern aesthetic. The colors were sharp and contrasted starkly, the windows were clear and clean, there wasn’t a speck of dirt anywhere.
“You didn’t tell me your dad was loaded,” you joked as Wooyoung turned off the car. But when you looked at him, he was nervous. You couldn’t really fathom why Wooyoung was nervous to be home, unless he himself didn’t want to see his father. 
But if Wooyoung didn’t want to see him, why did he bring you along? It didn’t make sense. 
“I need to tell you something about my dad before we go inside,” he started, looking down at his hands in his lap, fidgeting with them. You couldn’t help the numerous ridiculous thoughts that filled your head, trying to predict whatever Wooyoung was about to say. 
“My dad…” He was already hesitating and trailing off. Warning bells were going off inside your head. Wooyoung thought for a long while, before you could see him mentally make the decision to just rip the bandaid off. “My dad isn’t a masculine man. He prefers to dress like a woman.” 
And you sat stunned for a few seconds as to why your best friend thought this would be an issue for you. 
“Wooyoung, I’m sorry, but do you know me?” You asked. He looked up at you, and along with nervousness, guilt started creeping into his eyes. “I don’t care how your dad wants to dress or act, as long as he’s not an asshole.” 
You saw Wooyoung’s whole body relax, melting back into the car seat. He laughed softly. “Yeah, I don’t know why I was so nervous. I just didn’t want you to be surprised when we went inside to see him.” 
You nodded, and smiled encouragingly. He smiled back, and you both went to get out of the car. 
As you two were grabbing your respective bags, Wooyoung said “ah,” remembering something. “By the way, he prefers being called ‘mom’.”
“Are you sure your dad doesn’t have something to confess?” You said, half joking. Wooyoung laughed and shook his head. 
“No, no, it’s not like that. Believe me, I asked a couple years ago. He likes being a man, he just also likes looking feminine.” 
And then the nervous excitement bubbled up inside you as you both walked up the driveway, then the sidewalk, then the stairs to the front door. You could feel the mix of emotions clawing at your body from the inside out as Wooyoung struggled to grab the correct key. 
The excitement of meeting your best friend’s dad, along with the nervousness of wanting to impress him was making your stomach churn. But not in a way where you felt sick, your body just didn’t know how to calm down from everything. 
Wooyoung finally got the key out and unlocked the door. Your heart felt like it was going to burst out of your chest and run away. 
You walked inside and were greeted to the inside of the house reflecting the outside. Modern, stark, clean, but with tasteful decorations scattered throughout. Some paintings, statues, plants, decorative lights. 
But all of that was second to the gorgeous man in front of you. 
Wooyoung’s father-or, mother, as he preferred-was sitting on a large, plush couch to the left of the door, watching a movie. He looked over the couch and smiled at the two of you. You forgot to smile back, because you were staring in awe of how someone could be this beautiful. 
You didn’t hear what he was saying as he stood up to greet you two, because you got a full view of him and all the air left you. 
He was wearing a long sleeved sparkly sweater dress that stretched down to his knees, with sheer tights underneath. His black hair was fluffy and fell freely around his perfect face, reaching down to his jawline. 
Oh, his eyes and smile made your knees weak. You could feel nervous tremors run up and down your thighs. 
What might’ve surprised you the most was his hourglass figure. He had tits, hips, and a tiny waist. 
Oh, what a Winter Break this was about to be. 
“Hey!” Wooyoung called, and you suddenly remembered you weren’t in a dream. Both men were looking at you, Wooyoung slightly annoyed, and his mother amused. “Eomma, this is my friend. This is my mom, Seonghwa.” 
“It’s wonderful to meet you,” Seonghwa said, holding out his hand. You took his hand and tried to give the best handshake you could. His grip was firm, but delicate. Your eyes flicked down to look at his hands, and to your surprise, even his hands were feminine. 
“Thank you, it’s good to meet you too,” you babbled out, struggling to make sure your voice didn’t waver. Seonghwa smiled warmly as he pulled back, and he turned to Wooyoung to hug him tightly. Wooyoung struggled to return the hug with his bags on his arms, but he still managed to make it work. 
“Did you go out?” Wooyoung asked Seonghwa as he pulled back, looking over his mother’s outfit. “You’re all dressed up.” 
“No, but my son and his friend visiting me is reason enough to dress up.” 
You swear you could feel your head starting to get light. Wooyoung glanced at you, then back at his mother. 
“Okay, well, I’m gonna go unpack.” Wooyoung looked at you before continuing. “There’s a guest room close to mine, I’ll show you.” You nodded, and you two started for the stairs. 
“Don’t be too long!” Seonghwa called, “Dinner will be ready soon!” 
You felt your heart stutter at the mention of a home cooked meal for the first time since you couldn’t remember when. 
Wooyoung brought you down the hallway, turned to the right, and stopped at the end. “This room on the far end is the master room. Belongs to my mom, obviously.” Wooyoung waved his arms around to express his point, then motioned to the door on the left side of the hall, the one he was in front of. “This one is the guest room, and the one on the other side by the corner is mine.” He pointed to the door all the way down the hall. 
You nodded, your eyes betraying you and drifting to Seonghwa’s bedroom door. The forbidden room, your brain was telling you. You had no reason to go in there, but the idea of going beyond it- 
“Okay, dude, I can see that you were checking out my mom, okay?” Wooyoung blurts, making you whip your head back to him. You’d hoped you didn’t look as obvious as you felt, and your worst fear came true. 
If Wooyoung saw it, so did Seonghwa, and the mortification slowly took over your body as you felt your face burn hot. 
Your first instinct was to apologize, but you stopped yourself. All possible words left you, and you just stared at Wooyoung with fear and embarrassment all over your face. Wooyoung sighed and shook his head. 
“We’ll talk about this later, go unpack your stuff. Wait until I come get you.” And with that, he walked off to his room and disappeared into it. 
You didn’t even get to appreciate the gorgeous room you got to stay in, because you were too consumed with guilt to properly look over it. It was large, lavish, and comfortable, but you felt awful as you started unpacking. 
You were drooling all over your best friend’s mom the second you walked in the door. You couldn’t help yourself from feeling awful the entire time you put your luggage away. 
You jumped a whole foot in the air when you heard a knock on the door. The door creaked open and Wooyoung peeked inside. You were just finishing up as he came into the room, and you felt simultaneous relief and dread. 
Before you could stop it, words began tumbling out of your mouth. “Look Woo, I’m sorry, I know it was insanely disrespectful of me to act that way in front of your mom, I should’ve acted better and I-” 
“Woah, slow down,” Wooyoung said, holding his hands up. You stopped and swallowed back the rest of the words you thought of saying. You realized then that Wooyoung didn’t look upset anymore. In fact, he looked resigned. “I’m not mad. I think I was just protective.” He looked away for a second before he looked back at you. “I didn’t want you to think of my mom as some kind of porn character.”
“No, never!” You immediately blurted. 
“I know you’re not like that, and I’m sorry I snapped at you.” You could see in Wooyoung’s eyes, he felt remorseful. You found it a little weird, because he was justified in being upset. “People have done it in the past, he thinks he found a partner, and it turns out they liked the idea of having him as a personal porn star object, nothing more.”
The fact that such a revelation didn’t surprise you made you doubly upset. 
“So, I guess, what I’m saying is,” he started, and then sighed again. “I mean, if you fuck, just don’t tell me about it.” 
The bluntness of his request makes you choke, and you can feel your face instantly burn hot. Wooyoung finally breaks and laughs, and his laugh makes you laugh. 
You really were lucky to have an amazing friend. Not because he just gave you permission to fuck his mom, but that you could have proper conversations about issues and settle them like the adults you were. 
Then again, you both clearly still acted like teenagers, but it was like a wise man once said: There’s a time and place for everything. 
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The three of you were sitting around the small dining table in the kitchen, enjoying the dinner Seonghwa had made for you all. Despite saying that it was a “small” table, there was still tons of space left over. You could fit much more food and people at this “small” dining table with how much space there was. 
The food was delicious. Half because Seonghwa was clearly a skilled cook, and half because you hadn’t eaten anything made with love in so long. The fact that it was made with love and care put into it made it taste stellar. 
“So,” Seonghwa started, looking over at you. “Why are you spending your break with us?” 
You expected this question. You’d rehearsed it a million times over. 
“I don’t talk to my parents, and the rest of my family already has plans this year.” It was the truth, but it didn’t give away too much information. Seonghwa gave you a sympathetic look with a slight pout. He must’ve realized you didn’t wanna talk about it more than that, because he didn’t push for you to explain more. 
“Well, I’m happy to have you.” You smiled and said a soft “thank you” before taking another bite of food. “You’re welcome.” 
You expected Wooyoung to be rolling his eyes with every look you gave Seonghwa, and to be annoyed with how permanently flushed your cheeks were. But to your surprise, he was giving you little smirks the entire meal, and giggling silently when your voice wavered as you spoke to Seonghwa. 
It’s like you two never really grew up. Two little kids giggling at each other from across the table, almost reminiscent of teasing your friends about their crush at lunch time. 
The big difference here is that your fucking crush is your best friend’s mom. 
And yet despite how obvious you two must’ve been, Seonghwa never commented on anything you two did. It was as if he hadn’t noticed a thing. 
You survived the rest of dinner, with light talk about how you and Wooyoung met, how school was going, your major, and more about you as a person. 
Seonghwa began to clean up when you all were done eating, but you grabbed your dishes and brought them to the sink. 
“What are you doing?” Seonghwa asked as you began to rinse off your utensils. He looked genuinely stunned, and you couldn’t understand why. 
“Cleaning?” 
“You don’t have to do that.” Seonghwa took the dishes from you. Not forcefully, but gently removing them from your hands. “I know, it’s polite to help, but I don’t mind cleaning. I actually like it.” 
“But you cooked. It’s the least I can do,” you argued. Seonghwa looked at you for a moment, then smiled. You felt your stomach flip over, and smiled back to cover it up. 
“Thank you, dear. That’s sweet of you.” 
The name shouldn’t have made you as flustered as it did. 
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You spent the next few hours with Wooyoung and Seonghwa, continuing to talk, having some movies as background noise. As you sat with them, you observed their dynamic, and learned more about both of them in the process. 
Your irrational theories about Wooyoung being averse to Seonghwa couldn’t be more wrong. He was relaxed, comfortable, and he clearly loved his mom. Wooyoung was cuddled up to Seonghwa towards the end of your conversation, his head basically on Seonghwa’s chest and his arms around him. 
After the final movie, all three of you decided it was time to head to sleep. You said your good nights and went to your separate rooms. 
But despite the comfortable bed, the wonderful room, and the hospitality of Seonghwa, you couldn’t sleep. 
You looked at your phone, you shifted around, you tried walking around, but you didn’t feel tired. You were getting frustrated after a couple hours. 
You decided to go get a drink of water. Maybe it would calm you, or walking around would take your mind off trying to sleep. 
You quietly made your way out of your room and down the hallway, using the light from your phone to guide you. As you passed Wooyoung’s room, you heard him softly snoring. 
You got into the kitchen and carefully navigated to the cabinets. Seonghwa and Wooyoung both had shown you where to find cups in case a need like this arose during your visit. You didn’t expect to need it the night of, but here you were. 
You found a glass and got your water. It didn’t make you feel any better, but it did feel nice. 
“Can’t sleep, darling?” 
Your whole body jumped as you whirled around to look for the owner of the sound. You knew it was Seonghwa before you saw him, but you still weren’t prepared to see him in the archway, leaning against the wall, in a long black silk robe with flowers all over it. 
You shouldn’t have been fixated on the fact that his robe was open enough for you to see the line that ran down his chest, and the slight ridge of each side. 
He laughed softly before he spoke. “I’m sorry for startling you.” 
His voice was deeper than it was before. Smoother, almost. Like chocolate sauce. 
“It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it,” you mumbled, trying to keep your eyes on his face. That ended up not working out as his eyes made you feel small, and you looked to focus on your glass instead of him. 
But what you didn’t know yet was that Seonghwa didn’t like to be ignored. You looked at him when he spoke to you. It was a rule like any other. The sky is blue, the grass is green, and you listen to Seonghwa. 
He walked over to you and grabbed your chin, turning your head to look up at him. Your mind went blank and your stomach churned inside you like a washing machine. A smirk pulled the corners of his mouth up as your cheeks turned red yet again. 
“There we are,” he cooed softly, his voice hardly more than a rumble in his throat. 
“Seonghwa, what are you doing?” You said, your voice wavering on every word. Amusement sparkled in his eyes as he moved even closer, his hand moving to the back of your neck. 
“Don’t tell me I was hallucinating the looks you gave me since you showed up. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice you checking me out the entire time?” 
Of course not, you knew there was a strong possibility he knew everything. He was at least over double your age, he was no stranger to all of this. 
“I just didn’t think you’d do anything.” You began to stutter more as you struggled to pick the right words. You could see it clearly, in his big dark eyes, that he was enjoying watching you fight to stay composed. 
“And why wouldn’t I? You’re a cute little doll, how could I resist?” 
Your heart gave one massive beat you could feel throughout your whole body. The air in your lungs was sucked out. Your head felt light. You didn’t feel like you remembered how to stand. 
Seonghwa laughed again, and his eyes shifted to something more hungry. More primal. “Come, little doll,” he said, pulling you even closer until you were pressed up against his chest. “Won’t you stay with me for the night?” 
How could you answer with anything besides “yes”?
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Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed! 💜
This is a work of fiction written by me. This does not represent the idol(s) in any way. Any re-upload is not allowed and will be reported.
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artbyblastweave · 6 days
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So I recently had the thought that Superman as depicted in the DCAU canon probably has the best-articulated-by-the-narrative and most-consistent character flaws of any Superman I’ve seen, in a way that’s enabled by the long-formedness and consistent creative vision of the series.
He’s got an Atlas complex that grinds the gears of his equally-durable, equally-capable colleagues in the Justice League. He has deep-seated fears of moving the wrong way and breaking something or someone, which is then upstream of some moderate control issues. He’s got anger problems, although it’s rare for someone to push him far enough that this takes center stage; you see this with Prof. Hamilton in the series finale of STAS, but also in a number of fights against opponents strong enough that he starts getting frustrated. When the stakes are lower, he can be cocky bordering on genuinely vindictive; there are lots of examples of him rubbing his opponents' noses in it when he finally gets them on the back foot, and it’s shown in flashbacks that he was genuinely kind of a dick when he was a teenager and hadn’t completely sorted out what proportional responses looked like. He doesn’t always think through the implications of his grand projects, be that the implicit threat-escalation posed by the expanded JLU, or the massive disarmament project he spearheaded that turned out to be part of an alien invasion scheme. There are probably more of these that I’m forgetting. The final roundup here is that he’s a good guy. He’s far and away from a perfect guy, with perfect judgement. All of this amounts to something that’s more coherent and specific than the contradictory, subject-to-eternal-revision mess you could assemble from his 60-something year publication history in the comics, but nonetheless with a substantial-enough runtime that all of these traits can be put on display again and again.
In turn, this allowed the collective DCAU continuity to get away with at least three “what if Superman went rogue” plots- four if you count the mind-control situation in Legacy- specifically because they did the legwork to establish the concrete neuroses and psychological vulnerabilities that might cause this specific version of Superman to go rogue. It was never completely insane that Luthor might figure out the exact set of words, actions, and personal losses necessary to coax this depiction of Superman into an authoritarian partnership for the supposed greater good. It’s not completely insane that this depiction of Superman, if pushed far enough, might lose faith in the collective judgement of humanity and decide to put the world and all his loved ones in a bottle. And when the Cadmus plot rolls around in JLU, it’s as effective as it is because they’ve already advanced two roads-not-taken, established what levers you need to pull to make this specific version of this guy cross the line, and that Cadmus and Luthor are pulling all of them. 
I emphasize the specificity here, because the flipside of this are Superman-gone-rogue narratives that jump right to that as the cornerstone of the continuity, with no real opportunities for juxtaposition. A major issue I eventually developed with the Injustice franchise is that despite its pretenses of being an alternate universe, there’s no established continuity that it’s deviating from, bar its own. To some extent I feel as though it’s banking on the audience transposing their gestalt-understanding of Superman and the broader DCU- hell, their understanding of the Justice Lords arc in particular- in order to elide that they’re playing extremely fast-and-loose with the specifics of what has and hasn’t happened to Superman in this continuity. The DCEU is a runner-up- jumping right to the Damocles-sword of a bad-future after two movies is jumping the gun, in the same way everything about the 2010s DCEU was jumping the gun. I think you could plausibly attack TDKR’s portrayal of Superman under this logic, although I personally wouldn’t- but that’s its own post.
Point being that you can’t sell me the upset of a paradigm if you never established it-you need to set up the pins before you can bowl worth a damn.
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p3ndeja6 · 10 months
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Summary: you and colby brock have been friends with benefits for a while, You eventually developed feelings and so did he. But you didn’t know, he would always give you the cold shoulder after sex. you were fed up.
Content tags: jealousy, arguments/yelling, alcohol usage, angst 100%, light smut, MAJOR plot, possibly a happy ending probably not (there is)
Colby b. x reader
(this was in the drafts for like 5 months, my bad if it’s ass)
-; ✧˖*°࿐
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“fuck.. colby, right there” you whined at the roughness Colby was hitting you with. both you and Colby were almost to your climax, hitting your g-spot constantly and you being fucked dumb.
“you feel so good y/n, no one like you”
these words coming from him felt so good and loved but you knew that the minute he came in you, that would all go away. You wanted to savor the moments where he would say all these sweet nothings in your ear.
“fuck colby….almost ….there.. faster… faster” you tried completely full sentences but you’d become weaker by every thrust and became dumb fucked every time his long, thick, dick would push through your fleshy, pudgy walls.
These words kept him going, probably for another hour if you could handle it. You both were so close, and you got closer together.
“colby!.. I can’t hold it.. I.. need to.. come” “fuck, come for me pretty girl, gimme everything .. you got”
you came after hearing these words, and not a minute less so did he. You could hear your heartbeat going 10 beats per second, your cheeks and ears were hot, forehead covered in beads of sweat, your stomach was all wet from your sweat and his cum that flowed up to your stomach. Colby on the other, was also satisfied, still heavy breathing, eyes closed, so mesmerized the way his dick had a full effect on you and how he had you wrapped around his dick. He felt guilty by what he was about to do. He wanted you to be with him but he just couldn’t bring himself to show this other affectionate side of him, (besides the one side where you are having sex)
“alright.. y/n , you can leave now”
you knew those words were coming but they hurt every time you heard them. You wanted to say something to him that enough is enough. That you were done being his fuck buddy.
“Fine.. colby, I’ll go” as you got up and started putting on your clothes, you turned to him, “but this is the last time you and me are doing this, I’m done with these late night booty calls”
you finally confessed
“w-what?” he said confused on why this sudden change
“yeah, I’m done colby, we’ve been doing this for far too long.. it was bound to happen that one of us was going to catch feelings first.. I had to be the first one,, I want to be more than friends with benefits” you exclaimed
“oh my god y/n , we’ve been over that we just fuck for fun, no strings attached. Why can’t you get that wrapped around your fucking head? I want nothing more..” he didn’t mean any of that. He actually did want to be something more, a label, a reason to call you “mine” “girlfriend” “lover” ,, he just didn’t want to .. at that moment”
you were fighting tears and did not want him to see you in this state, you hated being weak. You couldn’t help but spill a few, “fuck you colby, fuck you… everything about yourself, I never should’ve done this in the first place, you were a waste of my fucking time, I never want to see you again” you said wiping the few tears that fell with your middle finger, collecting the last of your things
you slammed the door as you walked your way out
“ yeah! Fucking go! You know your way out!” He yelled
he was so crushed and hated himself for the way this escalated, he cried the entire night.
-; ✧˖*°࿐
days, weeks, have gone by since you and Colby’s argument. you’ve been crying in your room for weeks, that kat had to make a home visit because you wouldn’t answer texts, calls, or tiktok dms.
kat had a copy of your house key, when she finally found it.
“y/n?… it’s me kat!, I’m here to check in you”
she walked around the house noticing very poor hygiene in the kitchen, dirty dishes being piled up, the living, food wrapped and tissues all over, the bathroom all disorganized and dusty. She knew you were badly hurt since you loved staying clean and loved keeping a tidy,clean, refreshing home. Before she found you she helped you by cleaning the kitchen and the living room.
she finally reached your room, knocked on it a couple of times then walking in.
she saw you under the sheets tissues, food wrappers and dirty dishes all scattered around. The smell of alcohol lightly lingering the room.
“Jesus y/n, how are you living in these conditions?” She walks around trying to get to you. “Cmon y/n, talk to me, what happened?”
you obviously have been awake but have been laying in silence.
it took you a while to speak up again, your voice raspy and groggy from all the crying, screaming and the no verbal communication you lacked for weeks
“what didn’t happen, kat. I cut it quits with Colby in hopes he’d finally let me know that he wanted me more than just a fuck. But then again.. he proved me wrong” you said while sitting up
your hair all tangled and greasy, you rubbed your eyes and your face from frustration
“we had a argument and he basically told me I’m delusional and that he’ll never be with me, I was just a fun fuck for him.. nothing more”
“what the fuck? That’s such a douchebag move!, you know what fuck him, there are other guys out there who will love you and will enjoy fucking you with love instead of lust!”
you laugh at her efforts of trying to cheer you up, her positive energy brought some joy and comfort that encouraged you to get out of bed.
“Thanks kat, your definitely cheered me up, I should probably clean my house” “oh! Don’t worry, I cleaned it up for you,just not your bathroom”
“Awh kat you didn’t have to! Thank you so much”
you started to clean your room with the help of kat, you blasted some of your favorite hype music, city girls being on there
as you finished your room and bathroom, kat spoke up
“omg ! Y/n I just remembered one of the guys is having a party ! We’re all going !! Let’s go!!”
you felt good to deny her offer, “sure ! Why not”
“oh. em. gee !!”
-; ✧˖*°࿐
you and kat had finished up the house, and she left to get ready, you got in the shower right after she left. You took a very long hot shower, scrubbed and shaved all over leaving you smooth and clean.
picking the most sluttiest, breathtaking outfit, that insinuated your natural curves and plump features. You chose this specific outfit because you knew that’s the outfit that had Colby on his knees eating you out for the first time. And this would make him regret not having you.
you did your make up, creating a gothic sort of look, a baddie, too high for males to reach.
so satisfied with your look, you finished in time where the party just started
8:47 pm
you arrive to the party, cars filled the drive way and both sides of the street, music loud to be heard outside the house, people hanging outside the house.
You walked in, in hopes to find kat and the rest of your friends.
“omg hey y/n!!” “hey kat!” You guys hug and exchange sweet words on how beautiful you guys look. kat then drags you to the kitchen for a drink. You look around to see any familiar faces, you see many unknown… until you meet with that familiar face you once would give anything for
“hey Katrina” Colby semi-shouted
kat gave you a ‘omg’ look and you tried you’re best to not give up your feelings and let him see you upset. You quickly grabbed a drink from the cooler, a Jamaican me happy seagrass
“oh hey colbs, what’s up” “I was just gonna ask where Sam was” he said while staring at you, up and down.
You knew this dress still had an effect on him, the way he stared at your boobs and while remembering each hickey that was placed there.
It’d be a lie if he said he didn’t miss you (them),
“Oh yeah! he’s over there by the patio” still staring “uh.. thanks”
“he was so staring”
-; ✧˖*°࿐
you were just sipping on all the wine coolers, until you changed up to drinks mixed with hard liquor, the mixture finally got you and the music was too good to not dance to it. You were still conscious and knew what you were doing.
you went to the dance section and started dancing, moving and swaying your hips to the music. doing the white girl dance (where you move your hips and mess up your hair)
you were having a great time until someone pulled you aside. You weren’t quite sure who it was until they dragged you to a bathroom that looked like no one has used yet. It was Colby
“What the hell colby? why did you just drag me to bathroom” “because I’m wanted to talk to you” “couldn’t you have just asked… you know something like 'hey y/n can I talk to you for a sec?'”
“hey y/n can I talk to you for a sec?”
you give him a glare, “okay what”
“I can’t stand at how insanely attractive you look out there dancing”
“thanks… is that all? .. so I can go”
he looked hesitant, scared; if he should just get over with it.
what if it comes out wrong? or if you finally got over him?
He was scared because you truly were the best thing that happened to him and he was an idiot to let that go. He realized he needs you in his life, you are the one true person to get him to get out of bed everyday.
“uh Colby?” You waved a hand over his face to get him back to reality
“Look y/n I don’t know how to use words correctly, clearly… but what I’m trying to say to you is true and it’s coming from the depths of my heart”
you were still puzzled on what he is trying to refer to but you hoped it would involve him finally confessing his feelings to you
“colbs it’s okay”
that nickname.. that nickname always put him in a trance when you say it.
Colby took a deep breath and proceeded to look at you with his icy blue eyes
“y/n I should’ve never let you walk out that night… I wanted to chase after you but I was too much of a coward to go. Y/n you mean everythi- no you are everything to me”
he paused
you were shocked by his words.. trying to come up with something to say quickly before the moment left
“and I- I love you… more then you know. please y/n..”
he grabbed your hands and made you look at him. You were still trying to find words because you felt the same way, you were happy he finally was able to tell you the words you wanted to hear for so long…
“Colby…”
he waited with pleading eyes, finally being able to touch you after what felt like an eternity, but something in your eyes said something else.
“please y/n”
why can’t you say yes? What is holding you from saying yes?! You thought it would be easier now that it was out in the open, but it’s not and it’s hurting you because now you can’t find the words.
“i don’t know what to say”
“say yes…”
your lip trembled, eyes felt watery from the salted tears that were dreading to come out
“but I’m scared… I’m scared to try”
“me too but together we can figure it out, we will work it out because I believe in us. Please y/n I’m begging… let’s try it together”
his words were just the right words to feel at ease, you were scared but if being scared with Colby meant that you would finally be with him. So be it
“okay… let’s try… together”
-; ✧˖*°࿐
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Text
Tomarry au — arrange marriage but with a twist.
Harry Potter wakes up in the body of a villain. A character in an otome game that his goddaughter liked to play. He, being the only one without any kids of his own — always volunteered to take care of her whenever Ron and Hermione finally got some free time together. Thus, they remained really close for years. Even after she grew up she stayed in contact with Harry. And so he knew all about her new obsession.
It was a game where the main character got to choose from six different male leads. They all had their own storyline and apparently it was really popular. It was a story about how this mc, who is a powerful witch — end up winning the heart of the male lead while winning over the kingdom. Because common blood witches/wizards are rare and mostly scorned upon due to not having pure bloodline. And Rose wouldn't stop talking about how interesting it was.
Harry's goddaughter liked everything about the story except one character.
He was the most popular yet the most controversial character; the mad emperor called Voldemort. And there was a reason why he was so popular yet so damned controversial. And no — it was not because of his penchant to torture or order an execution in the bat if an eye. Nope, apparently hot, evil characters tend to be popular anyway, but it mostly was because how no one was able to win his route. Ever.
Voldemort's, or better known as the mad king's — is a route no one ever won. So many people tried, and even begged asked the game developers to give them a hintof how to win his route but apparently they didn't budge and stayed tight lipped about Voldemort's route. Everyone tend to die on his route no matter the choices, no matter what actions you took and no matter how different it was from the last choice. Your character would. just. keep. dying.
But there was one thing that remained common in all of Voldemort's storylines. And it was the main villain. Voldemort's husband. Even when you aren't playing the main game; Voldemort's husband is always trying to make your life hell. So, everytime you win a routine the husband dies a horrible death. Mostly executed by Voldemort himself.
In Voldemort's own route, however — it was different. And how different Harry never got to ask his goddaughter because now he was fucking dead.
And now, here he is. Stuck. In. The. Body. Of. The. Main. Villain. Of. A. game he doesn't even know the name of, for fuck's sake.
Yes, this is a story about how Harry dies and wakes up in the body of a villain who is set up for an arrange marriage with a king who is apparently so hard to win over that even the most likable persons, the main fucking character even — is not able to win him over. So how would, Harry in the body of Harry Evans (they even share the same damn first name, what the fuck.) would win over the husband who's job is to basically kill him after every happy ending? Harry doesn't know.
Cue to Harry doing everything to not die in the hands of Voldemort while trying to figure out how to befriend the mc so he doesn't die due to natural disaster through karma for looking at fate's darling (mc) the wrong way. Also, cue to Harry derailing the plot so hard that the title of the story changes after he is done.
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sundrop-writes · 2 months
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Hi! I hope this is okay to send because I’ve sent this type of request to others (and I know that’s normally bad) BUT it’s because I enjoy the different opinions of all the amazing writers!!! It’s not a fic request but just a request for your top headcanons for Spencer Reid.
The things that you’re like “this is canon and I’ll fight you over it” - smut, nsfw, tame, domestic, anything - just your opinions/rants!
(If it’s not okay to ask though please accept my apology!!! I’m still learning the social etiquette of tumblr requests! ) - 🌑
I definitely think this is okay to send to different writers, because you will usually get very different results - usually writers don't like it when you send a request that can only get similar results (asking for a narrative fic with a detailed, similar plot). But I love giving my random headcanons about characters.
Random Spencer Reid Headcanons
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And okay, the first one I have in mind for Spencer is so weird.
One of the headliners that I always have in mind for Spencer - he wears tighty whities.
Like - the only kind of underwear that he wears are the classic hanes briefs (usually white, maybe heather grey, never black or any other 'fun' colour) - he doesn't wear boxer briefs, he doesn't wear boxers. Whenever I see a fic saying 'and then Spencer took off his boxer briefs', I'm like: "no, you don't know him like I do".
Spencer is a fucking nerd. Spencer is the type of fucking nerd who would insist on wearing the nerdiest underwear - tighty whities. And people probably write about him wearing boxer briefs because those are the sexy men's underwear and briefs are not like 'hot' to picture men in - but that is exactly why I HC him as wearing them and exactly why I mention that he wears them in every single one of my fics.
Spencer would wear the dorkiest underwear in expectation that he's not going into a sexual situation. He wears his underwear thinking that he's not going to fuck - he's not going to have to 'impress' anyone. Also, over time, of writing several fics about him and thinking about Spencer for 100s of hours a week - I have come to develop this kind of kink for picturing his giant nine inch cock trapped inside the crotch of a pair of briefs, hard and struggling to fit in there. It would be hot in its own way. (Which, Spencer always is.)
Speaking of his cock - you may notice that with a lot of my fics, I take the time to describe in depth what a male character's dick looks like. This is because I take the time to picture and think about what a characters dick looks like and how it is different from other characters (because no, not every characters dick is nine inches, thick and veiny. no) - I call it the Dickscription. And I think it's a very important part of characterization.
Spencer is eight to nine inches (when fully hard) - but he is skinny. His cock is a bean pole, just like he is. You would look at his dick and call it a snake. His cock is very smooth - the skin on it is baby soft and smooth, rather than veiny, and Spencer does not shave his pubes. Spencer is a full bush kind of guy - because he is terrified of putting a razor anywhere near his dick. He would only shave if you helped him and if he trusted you a lot. And he had a very thick, dark bush of hair near the top, around the base of his cock, but it gets more sparse around his balls, which even get soft and fuzzy in some places. (I have thought about this way. too. much.)
He is uncut, and when he gets really needy and teased or if you don't let him cum, then his cock turns a really bright shade of pink or even red, and the colour goes across his whole cock so his cock becomes like this beautiful bright pink rocket - and he leaks. Spencer is a very leaky guy, to the point where he gets everything so wet before he can even cum.
(These headcanons are getting out of control, lets get back to something more wholesome, shall we?)
Spencer is the kind of person to take himself on dates. On the rare occasion that he gets a day off, Spencer indulges in going out alone. It's not necessarily that he likes the solitude, but he's used to it because he spent his entire childhood pretty much alone, and there are a lot of activities that he likes that he thinks no one else he knows will enjoy. So he tries to enjoy treating himself to a day out alone.
He will bring a few good books to a cafe and drink a few expensive lattes (and probably eat a few pastries) and simply enjoy the peace and quiet of reading by himself for a while. He'll go to a book store and browse for hours before finally picking something. He'll go to a naturally history museum and walk around by himself, not tied to the whims of what someone else wants to see.
Hmmm
Maybe some relationship headcanons?
(Because we all love Spencer, lets face it.)
This is something I bring up in Careful (as you guys will see) - but I genuinely believe that Spencer Reid would treat his partner like royalty. He is someone who has spent years reading about romance - especially with his mother reading him so much classic literature, he regards the classics as the bar for romance (and he just hopes that his life doesn't become one of the tragedies where one or both partners die in the end). So he's not the 'Netflix and Chill' type - and he definitely doesn't bring you to the movies to sit in silence on a date.
He is the type of person to hire a violinist to play your favourite song by the table on a date, he will open doors for you, help you with your coat, pull out chairs for you, recite poetry to you (probably in other languages just because it sounds beautiful).
He will always think of the most unique dates to take you on. He'll take you to museums, to an observatory, to the orchestra - he'll take you to a large, elegant library that has rare books and recite lines from those classic books to you while you're there. He would take you to plays or a midnight picnic by a lake. Dates with him would never be boring or typical - it would be like living in a romantic movie.
A lot of people HC that Spencer would not be into PDA because he's too shy, but I don't think that's the case. Early seasons Spencer maybe, but I think that even he would get to a point where he's just so enamoured with you that he needs to touch you in public. But his PDA wouldn't be steamy or smutty, it would be romantic and soft and passionate.
He would keep a hand on your lower back while walking around, a sign that he's right there with you, a gentle signal to anyone around that you're with him. He would lean in close to speak right in your ear - showing that his words are only for you, that nobody else in the vicinity deserves to hear what he has to say, only you do.
He would graze his fingertips right across your arm, causing goosebumps on your skin. He would stare into your eyes with such intense, burning passion. And he would kiss you in public - lingering only long enough to leave you wanting more. And on occasion, he would lean in to kiss your neck or bring your hand up to kiss the back of it - gentle things to show his appreciation of you without giving away too much for prying eyes to see.
Dating Spencer would be like dating a prince from a hallmark movie, I swear to god.
(That's all I have for now, because if I keep thinking about this too much, I may explode because Spencer is not real and I can't actually date him.)
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