#actually i keep going back and forth for if this will be my anniversary stream or my birthday stream | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cybernightart · 9 months

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A couple Random Genji and some kiriko + other headcanons/short story things? Not a full fic or anything but headcannons that kinda flow into a story of some kind. I don't even have a clue how many I've done at this point XD

Second half of this gets a little sadder, and mentions stuff from his Playboy days including drinking and drugs and stuff not much but it's there so still head up.

BUT then I wrote a short cute thing of how I imagine kiriko reunited with genji so it's not all angst and depresso.

Also random Gency here and there! (There's alot not going to lie lol)

And lastly as per always, this is very very rambly as I'm just getting my thoughts written out and there's not much actual order and there might be some jumping back and forth but I tried to keep it as steady flow as my brain would allow. This one is rather long though.

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This one actually starts with Dva! (This is partially inspired of a few other head cannons I've seen from people) After she joined OverWatch in between missions whenever she's doing more normal streams that aren't streaming the fights, where she's in her room gaming or doing other streams around the base, she would bring some of the other members onto the streams either they would pop in to say hi or would stay for whole streams. At first it would primarily be the new blood crew, as they had been around either for longer and her Chat had gotten to know them too.

But then after a while chat started to notice these same two people popping in for quite a lot of streams not really ever acknowledging chat but just talking to Dva. They would be giving her food and bringing her drinks and stuff ,making sure that she's staying hydrated ,making sure she's okay, and just all around taking care of her. One of the two was immediately recognized to be mercy which the chat started lovingly referring to as "mom" because in any stream she appeared in even for a couple seconds she was always just taking care of everyone and looking after everyone and reminding her not to stream too long. The second person wasn't immediately recognized, at least by name anyways. Genji wasn't known to the public what his name was, they just knew he was the ninja guy from OverWatch, that they had seen on the news a couple times in some fights like when they took down doomfist or in Paris. And they had especially never heard him talk before this, so all anyone publicly knew about him was there was this omnic looking guy who was a ninja with green lights on him. And after the first few times he popped in to check on Diva bringing her stuff, and way more specific stuff that he knows would be better for her to have during stream or gaming sessions because he himself being quite experienced in the gaming department he knows what kind of snacks or beverages are better to have while still being healthy at least a little. And after these many appearances by this unnamed member they had no idea who he was, Diva eventually explained to her chat that that was Genji and he was a cyborg ninja who looks intimidating (and can be very intimidating) but who's actually a really big sweetheart is very caring and stuff. So considering how Chat had started referring to mercy as mom, they started referring to Genji as dad, which then eventually snowballed into people shipping them on Diva's stream even going as far as drawing fanart of them. Which at this point no one on the base actually knew Genji mercy had a thing going on outside of tracer ,sojourn and Cassidy and kind of Winston but he was mostly oblivious. They mostly knew from before overwatch shut down, from the random dates they went on or the late night conversations and the all-around flirting between the two of them, but none of them knew that they were even more of a thing than before and were even closer.

Moving on to the next head cannon which ties into that one. We know Genji and Hanzo reunited on the 10-year anniversary of Genji's death when he was around 35, and he's 37 now, and the last letter we know of really between the two is when he told her about reuniting with his brother. And we also know from the recent logs from PVE that Genji hasn't actually been at the monastery in a while and hasn't seen zenyatta in a long time and has just been writing him letters. So I personally like to believe in that in that two-year span Genji was wandering around again with ,a new purpose in life this time ,specifically on the mission to track down Angela. Where he eventually found her after about a year or so, because he had no idea where she was, since he left the monastery he didn't have any of the letters that she could have sent in the meantime, specifically one where she mentioned that she was leaving Cairo and going somewhere else. So for about a year he was on kind of a wild goose chase just kind of running around trying to find her eventually he did find her. At this point she was in between her trips to places to help people and was just in her home in Switzerland, which I like to imagine she lives in an apartment.

Which is where Genji tracks her down to, end of instead knocking on the door like a normal person he knocked on her window, because he couldn't be bothered taking the stairs inside and just wall climbed up to her balcony because it was "easier". He brought with him a few gifts including Swiss chocolate which he was able to get much easier now being in Switzerland, and a couple other assorted gifts.

So as Angela was sitting at her desk filling out paperwork at midnight, she heard a knocking on her window which at first she brushed off as the wind but then realized how distinct of a knocking it was. So cautiously she grabbed her blaster from the table she'd been working on all her Valkyrie suit stuff on, quietly tiptoed over to the window peaked through her blinds and didn't see anything except for a faint green Glow. Which definitely confused her at first so against your better judgment she opened the window, poked your head out and was looking side to side couldn't see anything or anyone, balcony completely empty. Until a little ribbon thing fell in front of her face was she immediately recognized and looked up to see Genji dangling from the upstairs balcony Spider-Man style because of course he is. And before she can say anything Genji says a sweet little "hello doctor", and plopped down in front of her perching himself on the balcony wall. Then after 2 seconds of fully registering what's going on she happily yells out Genji's name as she wraps her arms around him. Where he quickly has to grab onto the window / door so they both don't fall off the balcony with the force she have charged at him with. She apologizes, genji says it's fine, they both giggle, Genji then reaches up and completely takes off his mask/helmet, reaches out brushes a loose strand of hair behind her ear and leans in and says "I missed you <3" in a loveing hushed voice. Which mixed with the cheeky smirk on his scarred face makes Angela's face go completely red. Flustered she looks him in the eyes and smiles before saying "I missed you too<3" as she leans in and kisses genji on the cheek making him go so red in the face that even his ears are blushing and steam releases through his shoulder vents. And for Genji can even get any words out Angela pulls him inside like grabbing on to the front of his new hoodie, what she then cheekily but honestly compliments saying how it suits him, and he does the same with her new hair cut.

You then spend roughly the next year living together slowly getting closer and closer and more and more comfortable with each other than they already were (like they were basically dating at this point but just hadn't admitted it) snuggling, doing daily tasks together, when Angela came home from her long shifts at the hospital genji had done all the household chores and had cooked dinner for them both. And where all-around enjoying life to the best of their abilities, considering all the stuff going on in the news, and eventually the recall. Which they desired to answer together, and made their way to Paris arriving just in time to save Winston, tracer and mei along side Reinhardt, Brigitte, and echo.

Back to the Dva streaming thing, once genji and mercy found out dvas chat called them mom and dad they both laughed at it, but also kinda agreed. Genji first said he didn't see it for himself, which almost everyone else chimed in with all the times he has looked after someone, helped them out, made sure they are staying hydrated, looking out for their health (mental and physical) and has overall became someone any of them can talk to for reassurance or guidance. That combined with all the terrible dad jokes. They both eventually accept their roles as the mom and dad friends of the group.

Genji 100% makw some of the worst but the best dad jokes

Some examples of this, like in PVE when Genji checks in on mei to see if she's doing okay, comforts tracer about mondattas death, even him talking about Cassidy about how he hasn't been sleeping and helping him deal with the emotions and memories causing that. I'm definitely also see him befriending Zarya pretty quickly, after not getting off on the right foot with her not trusting him seeing him as part omnic and not knowing if she can trust him because of it, once they step foot into the gym together they instantly become workout buddies, especially considering both of them are frantically trying to help the others not injure themselves while doing what they think are basic workouts. Primarily with mei, Lucio, dva, even Baptiste and then a couple of the others. Lucio on multiple occasions would go into the gym not wearing proper footwear and immediately get sent back out by either Zarya or Genji. And with the people they don't have to help out as much in that way, they both spar or train with the others and help push them when they need it and help them to go easy when they need it (like brig, tracer or rein)

Genji also gives the best massages in OverWatch, primarily to mercy but he does them for everyone else as well. And when someone injures themselves in a non bloody we should probably take you to the medics kind of way he can help bandage up rolled ankles or other pulled muscles and other more athletics based injuries from both personal experience and stuff he's picked up from being around mercy for so long.

And for the third time back to Dva stream thing, there was one time she was doing a cooking stream with Lucio, and Genji happen to walk into the room to see them trying and shopping things and immediately having to dash over there and take the knives out their hands because Jesus Christ they were going to hurt themselves the way they were trying to do it. And after he confiscated the knives he showed them how to properly use them so they wouldn't hurt themselves horribly, and then physically got them to try cutting again this time with his supervision so they could hands on learn how to do it while also having genji there as a safety net to make sure they don't cut their fingers off.

And eventually after a while of convincing Genji eventually came on to one of Diva's dreams for the whole thing and ended up playing games with her which is where she found out Genji used to play video games a lot (and it turns out Genji is better than her, he kicked her butt a few times and then went easier on her but acted like he was still trying so she could feel like she had beaten him and to not humiliate her in front of her stream) and he was better than her at fighting/shooters games but Dva was better in racing/flying/absurd nonsense games(think like gang beasts and fall guys) except for things like Mario kart (or whatever the OverWatch equivalent would be) where they were pretty evenly matched.

And there was one time they tried to play VR only to very quickly realize that Genji could not because he couldn't get the headset over his mask, and even when they finally did get it to stay in place(kinda) he couldn't hear anything through it and it looked ridiculous over his mask, and everything was tinted very green. So dva changed the set up so the camera wasn't facing him so he could take his mask off and properly play, because she still wanted to play with him but didn't want to make him uncomfortable because she knew he wasn't very big on showing his face especially to the hundreds of thousands of people watching.

Dva also introduced him to games like beat saber which he loved, and was very good at, mainly because of all the sword training (even though it wasn't accurate it was definitely helpful)

Now switching gears to some different head cannons, this is where the sad stuff happens!!!! ANGST TIME!!!!

Genji when looking back at his old self (playboy days) is very overly harsh on himself and views himself as a way worse person than he actually was at the time. Looking back at those days with the opposite of rose tinted glasses. Overall just viewing himself as a very mean selfish person when, in actuality he was still a very kind-hearted sweet person like he is now. Back then though he wasn't allowed to show it or would be punished when he did for "being weak". And he also looks back at his Playboy partying days not really acknowledging why he was doing all that. Forgetting the mental state he was in at that point, with his mental state during black watch and the initial years of his time in OverWatch overshadowing the negative emotions he felt back then.

he had no interest with being a part of the family business but also just didn't agree with it, he was drifting from his brother who he used to be almost inseparable from and now it was almost like talking to a stranger with how cold and distant Hanzo seem to have become. Or whenever he went out trying to make friends or tried dating people, either they didn't want to interact with him because they were scared of the fact he was a shimada and believed him to be dangerous, or when they did want to interact with him they only wanted to interact with him so they could use him for his money and status ,or only going after him for his looks and not actually him as a person. then an assortment of other small things which built up only topped off by the ever-increasing stress and pressure put on from his family and Clan elders, and eventually the assassination of his father sending him over the edge into full party Playboy this is the only way he knows how to cope mode.

With him constantly getting drunk, high, or even a combination of both, and just overall being a Playboy by "sleeping" around to try and escape from his reality, to feel something, something that wasn't all the bad things he was feeling now.

The only one who actually knew anywhere close to what Genji was going through or how he was feeling at this time was kiriko. (I don't care what her canonical age says it makes no sense so I'm still sticking with she's a couple years younger than them. So like when genji's 37, she's 32-33 or something) they would hang out with all the time, and she very quickly picked up on his rapidly decreasing mental and emotional state, not knowing how to help other then just being there for him.

When he wasn't drunk or out partying, he was going out around hanamura/kanezeka, primarily to the arcade with kirko. Where she witnessed all the good things Genji would do and how nice he was with people. like when he saw kids struggling at an arcade game, trying their hardest and failing, he would go over and help the kids in whatever way they needed so that they would win. And if the kids had given up and we're starting to walk away, he would go over play the game and win big prize, the go over redeem the prize and then give the prize to the kids. Or when someone was being harassed, attacked or in general being put in danger, he would stand up for them and defend them, using his skills as a ninja too take down multiple of these harassers or attackers with ease, as kiriko would tend to the person in need to see if they had any wounds or in general to see if they're okay. And if Genji did need help in fighting, he would fight side by side with kiriko defending the city together, helping wherever they could.

She just remembers all the joy he would bring to people around the city. Primarily just by doing little things and being a nice person, actions that he would dismiss as not being meaningful or actually good deeds, not being able to see past the part of him which made him tied to one of the most feared and most dangerous yakuzas in the whole of Japan ,and in terms of criminal empires at the time, in a lot of the world. Genji instinctively would have put on a mask of the cocky full of himself spoiled rich kid with a carefree attitude, only ever letting it really drop around kiriko or in these random moments of kind-hearted gestures with locals or complete stragers. Where you could actually see the real him, the real him that he had to hide from the clan because he was seen as weak and undesirable, and overall just not being cut out for the family legacy. Which overtime only weight heavier and heavier on his heart and soul, not being able to see that the locals around him loved and appreciated him. Not seeing the sentiments and opinions that they hold even to this day of Genji, not seeing him as a shimada, but as Genji. The green haired goofball who would get himself into trouble but had a kind heart and was just an all-around good kid, that they never found out what happened to and to their knowledge just disappeared one day, the same day Hanzo left and was almost never seen again, with only the occasional sightings once a year on the same day. And not too long after the brothers disappearances, the rest of the clan will go on too, either gone into hiding, arrested or killed.

The Kind-hearted sweeter quiet but Goofy side of Genji is the side that kiriko remembers, even years later. She doesn't mourn for the loss of the cocky rich Playboy persona who would get into fights to prove he was better and didn't care about anyone other them himself.

She missed her best friend. The sweet guy she grew up with, who happened to be into a family who didn't want him for him. And as much as kirko still looks back on the clan with rose tinted glasses, much like how pharrah looks back on OverWatch, she still remembers what the clan did to Genji. Not just ordering him to be killed, not just his own brother who they both trusted who Genji loved wholeheartedly even though they had grown distant and/or it was never really shown anymore, but for how they mentally and emotionally broke him down over the years. Leading him down a path which he never wanted to take a step down in the first place. A path which he thought was his only way of escape, even if it was temporary.

She remembers all the nights of Genji coming back from being at the club, only for him to come home to angry screaming about how disappointed they are in him, the shame he's bringing to their family, and the countless other heated arguments between him and Hanzo, where Genji hardly able to speak for himself because how drunk/high he was, get frustrated and just storm away to his room not even listening to Hanzo yelling after him. And all the times she would go into his room to find him sitting on the floor in the corner quietly crying, far too drunk to even try hiding his emotions at this point. where she would sit with him and just talk to him for hours as he cried until he passed out. And all the nights she wished she could do more to help him, all the times she regrets not protecting him, and all the times she replays the memories in her head, going through all the different outcomes of things she could have done differently that would result in him still being with her today, and the different lives they could have been living. All things that are not her fault, things that she had no control over, but still keep her up at night. All the times Genji took the blame for something she did to protect her from being punished, all the times he stood up for her and was there for her, even being the one to advocate for her to join him and Hanzo in training despite all the protests from the elders and the uncertainty from Hanzo, his father and her mother, he stood up and believed in her that she was ready, eventually winning them over and allowing her to join.

All these memories of the friend she lost and wished every day that he could come back, that one day he would come knocking at her front door with donuts ,cookies or sweets in hand like he used to do when he would sneak them both sweets when they both really shouldn't have been having sugar, or weren't allowed any because they were in trouble.

She even keeps a bunch of mementos around her apartment that remind her of him. including her first kunai, his headband that he used to wear all the time in training that Hanzo would tell him look stupid but he didn't care, just seeing how annoyed it made Hanzo made it worth it. A bunch of his drawings she framed and hung up that he would do in secret ,that he didn't think were that good but kiriko absolutely loved and would try to tell him they were amazing. A bunch of assorted toys and plushies she keeps on her shelves and desk that they won at the arcade together. Or even how she continues to dye her hair the same shade of green years later because it was the color that she would dye it when they would dye their hair together.

And even though she couldn't have done anything differently....she feels like she failed him. which is one of the reasons she tries so hard everyday to fight for her friends and for the people of kanezeka, because hopefully someday, she can feel like she made it up to him. Now constantly paranoid of losing someone she cares about, terrified she loses someone like she lost Genji. And still wanting to continue the small deeds of kindness that he would do, that he didn't think meant anything but to her and everyone around him meant the world.

Of course at this point she had no idea he is actually alive.

Whenever genji had a free moment in OverWatch, he would be trying to find her/find a way to contact her, and thinking of all the ways that he could go about explaining everything to her and apologizing for not finding her sooner and not being there. With a million thoughts running through his head not knowing how to go about it. Telling Hanzo was one thing because as much as his brother didn't like to believe it he was predictable, Genji knew pretty much exactly how Hanzo was going to react and could guess every single thing he would do the entire meeting, and even though he knew kiriko he knew that she wasn't like Hanzo, kiriko most likely changed so much you know those years, unlike Hanzo who stuck in the past. She didn't know how she would react, if she would hate him, if she would be happy, if she would punch him in the face the second she saw him, A million ways he could go about it and not one he was certain on. After talking with zenyatta and Angela he eventually decided todo what felt right.

(when reading this next part, picture it with the calm happy music from the kiriko cinematic! It adds to the feels)

So on random evening, the elevator doors opened and out walked a man who had never been there before. A man wearing a gray hoodie and joggers, with what looked like a cybernetic hand, with his hood pulled up and a black cloth mask covering his lower face, and from under the hood peeked a couple strands of bright green hair, and in hand where two boxes of doughnuts. And on his way walking to one of the doors he stopped and said hello to the old man who appeared to be the janitor/maintenance man for that apartment building, and a little girl wearing a kitsune mask with a fox plushie in hand. She was sitting on the floor coloring with crayons, where upon closer inspection she was trying a very familiar green haired girl then also familiar blue spirit fox. Smiling under his mask, he bent down to get a closer look at the drawing, which caught the girls attention, initially being a little scared he signed to her telling her that it's okay and he just wanted to compliment her drawing. She shyly thanked him, and then Genji asked what her name was, to which she replied with "little fox" while giggling and then asked what his name was, and he replied with "Sparrow" and told her that he was here to see a friend that he hasn't seen for a really long time. Did they then said/signed their goodbyes, has Genji stood back up bringing the donuts with him and proceeded to walk to the end of the hall. Where he paused, took in a deep breath, then knocked on the door, holding up the donuts so that he couldn't be seeing through the peep hole. And when kiriko open the door, confused and who it was especially this time of night, she looked up as Genji lowered his mask and simply said "hey kiriko"

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pancitmousse · 10 months

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so uh

im gonna spill some mysta thoughts right here, right now

cw: serious talks below

back when i was only just getting into niji i tuned into one of his zatsus. that was the first stream i ever watched.

when i told my friend i had watched mysta’s stream, she was shocked because she didn’t think mysta was my kind of streamer. to her, mysta was loud and chaotic, while the youtubers i liked were more on the chill side. and yet, he was very entertaining. very… warm. and that’s ultimately why i stuck around.

somewhere near half-anniversary or a few months before that i remember him saying that he could relax after grinding so long. he reached many people and managed to get his mom a house. in hindsight this graduation was… inevitable. not helping was the amt of hate he started receiving during that time. my friend no longer got that warm feeling from his streams, so she stopped watching, and soon i stopped too. it was what we decided was best for our mental health.

around october i decided i wanted to check on what he was doing. however at the time i wasn’t in the proper headspace to watch his streams, so most attempts were very short-lived. after he returned from the break in november it felt like i could watch him again without feeling miserable. he mentioned something about potentially graduating earlier had he not taken that break; at the time, i was just grateful he hadn’t graduated then, and i was confident he’d keep streaming for much longer. but alas, that was not to be.

by the time the graduation announcement dropped, i had just become completely comfortable with watching him again. my body was shaking. i was pacing around the room back and forth, and for the first time in a while i actually managed to be open about my feelings. my mom just told me that i should just move on. it left a sour taste in my mouth, but after thinking about it i understand her perspective on it now even if i don’t completely agree with it. no one’s going to last forever, so when they inevitably leave we should find something else since it won’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. but still, that’s one and a half years of memories down the drain, so it still hurts like hell. others can easily brush it off as “its just a streamer leaving, what’s the big deal?”, and while that is very much true it doesn’t change the fact that a lot of people get really attached, so they can’t move on as easily.

i wish i could’ve appreciated mysta more. i wish i didn’t take his presence for granted. during that break i took from his streams, my feelings on him became Very Complicated, so i couldn’t appreciate his positive qualities for quite some time. only when i considered to the perspectives of others could i discover those qualities once again, and while i’m grateful for that i also can’t help but feel like I failed somehow for not supporting him all the way. but for now, all i can do is to support him while i still can and wish him farewell when the time comes.

Thank you Mysta, and I wish you success wherever you go ♡

#miki rambles #mysta rias

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airadam · 1 year

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Episode 164 : The Jordan Year

"...baking soda, get it crackin' when you mix me with Kane."

- Checkmark

If you're like me, every time you write 23 this year you're thinking it! The first episode of 2023 is here, and we go mostly on the downtempo tip and mix up the genres in a big way, so there's almost sure to be something new for everyone in the mix!

RIP to Laylaw and Gangsta Boo.

As mentioned on the voiceover, you can now keep up with the schedule for all my streams (and I'll start putting my IRL shows here too) at events.airadam.com!

Twitter : @airadam13

Twitch : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Termanology ft. Raekwon : Passport Kingz

I was reminded of this track after listening to a podcast about citizenship and a shady character known as the "Passport King"! It has an ominous-sounding intro (as an aside, that pastor should be in prison), and then doesn't let up for the rest of its running time, with Raekwon and then Term going hard over Staik Selektah's production. One verse each is the perfect dosage. Find this on Termanology's 2018 "Bad Decisions" album.

[Dru Kevorkian] Smif-N-Wessun : Reloaded (Instrumental)

Just screaming mid-2000s New York, this is the instrumental for the title track of Smif-N-Wessun's third LP. I could hear this beat on the soundtrack (and too loud) for a street DVD of the era...

El Michels Affair & Black Thought : Grateful

Looks like there's a big treat coming later in the year, with the collaborative "Glorious Game" due in April. One of the best writers in Hip-Hop history in combination with one of the coldest bands in years? Yeah, that's a must. This lead single was released this month to give us all a taste and it's a great appetiser. The flute kind of hypnotises and draws you into the thick mists of the rest of the music, where Black Thought is waiting with high IQ, high-density street lyricism. Be grateful, indeed.

Shabba Ranks : Have This Woman

Coming off the back of the "Ting-A-Ling" sample woven into the "hook" of the preceding track, I thought I'd take the opportunity to move straight across into a Shabba track, and one that I just recently digitised during the task of taking on my whole reggae and dancehall 7" section! Over the "Girl A Love" riddim, Shabba's lyrics remind me that despite the gyalist/player image put forth in most of his catalogue, he's been happily married since 1992 - so he and his wife will just have celebrated their pearl wedding anniversary!

Camp Lo : Award Winning

They may never have got the level of acclaim that the title speaks of, but those who know know. Bars upon slang-filled bars on this deep album cut from "Ragtime Hightimes", with Ski on production. Play this one loud in your headphones when you need to go somewhere and let them know who you are :)

Above The Law : Another Execution

Including this one as a tribute to the recently-departed Laylaw, who was an integral part of the Above The Law story - not only did he manage them, but he has production credits on their debut "Livin' Like Hustlers", including for this track. It's a slow and low number on a classic sample, and if you want the instrumental then you can find it on the B-side of the "Murder Rap" 12". Unusually for ATL, it's Cold 187um solo on the mic, in storytelling mode with two tales of having to let that thing ring out.

People Under The Stairs : Chris Says 'Nice One' (Bonus Beat)

This short semi-interlude track from the 12" of "The Cat" is actually only 44 seconds long, so I looped part of it up to make it a suitable length to include here - just because it's a nice piece of digging/production that PUTS clearly included just for that extra flavour! RIP Double K.

Gangsta Boo ft. DJ Paul & Juicy J : Where Dem Dollas At?

I've not historically been a big follower of 3-6 Mafia, so I bought this track specifically to play it on this episode. DJ Paul and Juicy J of 3-6 are on production, but even though DJ Paul also takes the third verse, he has to play second position behind Lady Boo, which is only right. This was apparently the big hit on 1998's "Enquiring Minds", Boo's solo debut which paved the way for two more LPs over the next five years - and one which I remember being advertised in The Source back in the day. RIP Gangsta Boo.

Machinedrum : Center Your Love

Machinedrum is, amongst other things, half of the duo Dream Continuum alongside Bristol's Om Unit (formerly the turntablist 2Tall), but this is a beautiful solo exhibition of electronic composition. The drums are hectic in timing but not loud, and elements come in and out creating a soundscape around the vocal; I can't tell if that's a repeated sample or a singer brought in for this track specifically, and if I'm honest, I can't make out the words either 😆 Ten years old this year, it's taken from the "Vapor City" album which is available on Bandcamp - definitely worth checking!

Children of Zeus : Cali Dreams

California is a long way from the cold and rain of Manchester in many ways, but as they say, you can dream! I've got at least three copies of the 2021 "Balance" LP (vinyl, digital, and cassette) that this is taken from - so hopefully that gives you a prompt to go and get at least one! As much as Konny says it's "just another weed song", they elevate way past the average with their writing and execution. Their production is great too, and they bring in additional skilled musicians to crystallise their ideas - listen to this track outside of this episode to enjoy the long outro segment. Zeus!

Massive Attack ft. Liz Frazer : Teardrop (Mad Professor Mazaruni Vocal Mix)

Most of you will know the original version of this classic from the "Mezzanine" LP, and I even played the instrumental version of this remix a few years back - but today, you get the brilliant production of Mad Professor with the beautiful vocals of Liz Fraser in perfect combination. While Fraser can sound good on anything, her floating vocals are set really well here into the echoing, dubbed-out production. Apparently Madonna was the original choice of the songwriter to deliver this lead vocal - with all of the respect due to her, I don't know if it would have been as timeless as the final version turned out to be.

[Mr. Rogers?] Trae : Swang (Remix Instrumental)

While uncredited on the 12" single, I think this quality beat might be the work of Houston's Mr. Rogers, who, appropriately for this cut, is something of a car expert! You'll probably recognise the song it's borrowing from for its melodic underpinning, but it sounds to be all replayed/interpolated and so probably dodged the sample clearance issues that the original mix had...

Torii Wolf : 1st

An entirely new track to me even though it was a 2016 release, I only became aware of it when a DJ played it recently on a DJ Premier raid train on Twitch. Yes, this is a DJ Premier production, giving a sturdy backing to this New York singer/songwriter. Not only that, he apparently did another eight tracks on her 2017 LP "Flow Riiot", so it's one to check out for those wanting to hear some real deep Preemo cuts from the modern era!

The Doppelgangaz : In The Black

With their most recent album coming out just before Xmas last year being titled "Black Cloak Lifestyle" you have to give them credit for committing to that lift for real. Starting with ominous pianos, it's not long before the live-sounding boom-bap drums and bassline come in to augment them, and those rhymes of course from the self-styled "Ghastly Duo". A self-contained unit who handle their own production as well as all the MCing, they're dedicated to their craft.

Soul Supreme ft. Big Daddy Kane, Checkmark, and DJ Revolution : Come Get It

This one had been, unfairly, languising forgotten on my shelves until I digitised it recently. Big Daddy Kane is a legend, and is clearly the headliner here - it takes a brave MC to go after him, but Checkmark (of Skitzofreniks) does just that on top of production from one of Sweden's finest, Soul Supreme. Seasoning the pot beautifully, DJ Revolution contributes the cuts for this straight-up Hip-Hop gem. It's available on the 12" I'm playing it from, but also on 2003's "The Saturday Nite Agenda". Can't believe it's twenty years old already!

Sonnyjim ft. English and KoSYNE : Barcodes

This made me smile when I pulled the "Soul Trader EP" off the shelf recently, as at one time or another I've either DJed for (in cipher sessions) or produced everyone on the track! This is a fittingly-titled track, with all the MCs spitting out bars with confidence over KoSYNE's rugged beat - and the punchlines are plentiful. While you hear the main part of the track here, there's an extended ending with some ill freestyling... which you can get if you pick up the EP!

Dr. Dre : Murder Ink (Instrumental)

I've got to admit, I'll always prefer the original "The Chronic" to "2001". That said, you can't deny that Dre continued to refine his skills as a producer and engineer over time, and the sound quality of the production on his second solo LP was crisp and flawless - to my ears, at least. This track works a classic horror film sample into the mix with deadly effect.

The Lady of Rage : Necessary Roughness

To end the episode, just a high-quality track from an MC who never got her due. According to a recent interview, she was effectively punished for not jumping into the middle of someone else's beef, which is a great shame. This is the title track from her lone LP, and every bit of the mic control she displayed on "Afro Puffs" is on display here on top of a beat that reminded me of Craig Mack's "Get Down" - turns out they both were produced by the same man, Easy Mo Bee!

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

Check out this episode!

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elliesguitarstrings · 3 years

Note

Could you please write an imagine where Peter always puts y/n second to Tony, ditching her all the time & she’s tired of it. One evening, they’re in his room & she’s unusually quiet so he asks her about it. She tells him what’s on her mind but he denies it, thinking they’re ok. As they continue to talk, Tony calls & he immediately answers. Y/n just sighs & silently slips out intending on going home. When Peter notices that she’s left, he finally realizes y/n’s concerns & manages to catch up to her & apologizes for how he’s treated her. Sorry if it’s too specific 💖

thank you for the request hun! this turned out a lot longer than i expected lmao

warnings: language, angst

~~~~~~~~

The past five months with Peter have been bittersweet. You love him, and he’s definitely expressed that he loves you, but sometimes it feels like you aren’t his number one priority. You understand that he has other duties, being a superhero and all and you’ve tried your best to respect that. But him being a superhero isn’t the problem exactly. It’s what comes with it. Aka Tony Stark.

Peter not only looks up to Tony as a father figure, he practically worships him like a god. He’s flaked out on dates, missed anniversaries, and constantly declined calls from you, all because of “Mr. Stark.” It’s always “Mr. Stark needs me to do this,” or “Mr. Stark told me to do that,” or “guess what Mr. Stark and I talked about today!” and frankly, it’s pushing you over the edge.

You don’t want to break up with Peter, you love him a lot. Plus, he’s already going through enough shit right now, a breakup is probably the last thing he needs. But you don’t know what else to do at this point. Why even bother trying to be in a relationship with him if he barely pays attention to you?

You’re in Peter’s room studying as you are every day after school, and he’s going on another one of his excited rants about the new tech Tony added to his Spiderman suit. Usually you would at least try to listen to what he’s saying and add a few comments, but today you don’t have the energy. So you just start on your homework while he rambles on.

He finally notices that you aren’t paying attention and stops mid sentence. “Hey, you’re unusually quiet today, what’s up with you?”

You sigh, not really wanting to get in a fight with him right now. “Nothing Pete, I’m fine. Just a little tired that’s all.”

He closes the textbook you have sitting open on your lap and throws it off the bed. You shriek, “Hey, what the fuck was that for?” You didn’t mean to yell, but given your already exasperated mood, it came out a little more harsh than you intended.

Peter doesn’t seem phased though. “Come on, I know there’s something going on. Just tell me. You know you can tell me anything, right?” he pleads.

“Peter, I already told you. I’m fine.” you insist.

“I know that look Y/N, you’re not fine. So tell me what’s up.”

You know he won’t drop it until you tell him, so you decide to just let it out. “Fine, you want to know what’s up, I’ll tell you what’s up. For the entire time we’ve been dating it feels like I’m not your number one. But you know who is? Tony fucking Stark. I’m putting my full effort into this relationship, giving my full attention to you. And I assumed you would do the same for me, but whenever Tony Stark calls, you drop everything and do whatever he says. I get that he’s a mentor to you, and I get that you look up to him, but I’m your girlfriend Peter. You aren’t giving me even half the attention you give to Tony, and it really fucking hurts. And most of the time it feels like I’m just getting in the way of your superhero duties and shit and it would just be easier for you if we weren’t together.”

Peter stares at you, dumbfounded, as if he’s been completely oblivious to what he’s been doing the whole time. And to be honest, you wouldn’t be surprised if he has been. He scoots closer to you on the bed, taking his hands in yours. “I’m so sorry Y/N, I had no idea you felt that way. But I promise that you mean just as much, or more, to me than Mr. Stark. And you’re definitely not getting in the way, I love you so much, and I would hate it if we weren’t in a relationship.”

“You swear?”

“I swear. I love you so fucking much Y/N.” he pauses, “How about I make it up to you by taking you on a date tonight? Does that sound good?” he smiles.

“Yeah, that sounds great. Let me just finish up this assignment and then we can go. But can we just go to like, Delmar’s or something not super fancy because I don’t feel like changing.” you laugh.

“Sure, whatever you want baby.”

You pick up your books, a little more relieved about the whole situation. At least he apologized and owned up to his mistake, so it was a start. You two continue to talk as you finish your work, Peter mindlessly scrolling through his phone and occasionally helping you with an equation if you need it.

You finally finish the agonizing assignment, “Alright Peter, ready to go?”

“Yeah! Let me just grab-” his phone starts to ring. You look at the screen to see that of course, it’s the one and only Tony Stark.

He picks up after the first ring. Not even bothering to ask if it was okay if he took the call quickly. This just makes everything worse. After the whole conversation you just had, after pouring your heart out to him about your feelings, he still doesn’t seem to give a shit.

You slump back down on the bed, waiting and waiting for Peter to finally get off the phone. You watch as his face lights up, talking to Tony about some new formula for his webs. His face never lights up like that when he’s talking to you.

By now it’s been at least thirty minutes of Peter rambling to Tony about stuff that you can’t even begin to understand. By the time he gets off the phone, Delmar’s will probably be closed and there won’t be any more reservations available at any other restaurants near you. You silently gather up your books and get up off the bed. Peter is facing away from you, repeatedly pacing back and forth around one side of his room, so he doesn’t notice when you quickly slip out the already open door.

As soon as you leave his room, the tears start threatening to come out, and it isn’t until you finally slam his front door and start running down the stairs that they finally roll down your cheeks. As soon as you reach the landing of the stairs, you fall to the ground, violent sobs leaving you as you bury your face in your hands. You love this boy, you’re giving your entire heart and soul to him, while he’s on the phone with his fucking lord and savior Tony Stark, not even noticing that you’re gone.

You hear a door open and close on the floor above and you quickly try to compose yourself. The last thing someone wants to see is a teenage girl having a breakdown in the stairwell of their apartment building. But you aren’t fast enough. You hear them coming down the steps and stopping behind you. You’re too embarrassed to open you eyes or show your face, so you say, “Sorry, just go around. I, um, fell down but I’m okay.”

You feel a hand touching your shoulder and you take your hands away from your face, opening your puffy eyes slightly to see the person standing next to you. And you’d recognize those old, warn sneakers anywhere. It’s Peter.

“You fell? Are you okay? Y/N I’m so sorry this is all my fault I’m such a jerk and I’m so stupid. I never should have picked up the phone and I realized it as soon as I answered the call but it seemed really important so I didn’t want to hang up but now you’re hurt and I feel so terrible-”

You cut him off, “Peter I’m fine. I didn’t fall. I was just crying.” you say bluntly, not meeting his gaze.

“Well I’m glad you’re not hurt but that still doesn’t make me feel much better. Because I know you’re crying because of me.”

“Yeah Peter, I am crying because of you. And I think you know why.” you sniffle, tears still streaming down your cheeks. “I really, really don’t want us to end Peter. But if you’re going to keep ignoring me and putting me second to Tony then I don’t know if I can keep doing this.” you cry, still keeping your gaze on the floor.

“Y/N no, please no.” Peter pleads. He cups your chin and brings your face up to meet his. “Look at me Y/N, because I need you to hear this. I’m in love with you, and I know like lately it probably doesn’t seem like it, and that’s all my fault. I feel terrible, but I’m just so scared that I’m gonna disappoint Mr. Stark. He already took my suit away once, and I can’t afford to lose it again.” He sighs, noticing he’s getting off track. “But I can’t afford to lose you either. You’re so fucking important to me, and I need you. I need you more than that suit, more than Mr. Stark, fuck, I need you more than anything in the world. I know that I’ve been a dick and I haven’t proved that I love you as much as I do. And you have every right to break up with me, so I won’t stop you if you do.” His thumb strokes your cheek, wiping your tears away. “But I just needed you to know that. I needed you to know how much you mean to me. How much I love you.”

“I’m not gonna break up with you Peter,” you say softly. He sighs in relief, but you continue. “But that doesn’t mean you’re forgiven either. I love you so much, and I know you love me, but from now on you need to put in more effort into this relationship.”

“I will, I promise. Mr. Stark actually asked me if I could stop by the compound today, but I, um, I said no because I promised to take you out. And I told him not to call me for the rest of the week unless it’s an absolute emergency.”

You smile, “Thank you Peter. That’s definitely a start.”

He smiles and helps you stand up, you calming down a little more. “I think Delmar’s is still open if you still want to go.” he states.

“Honestly, I think I’d rather just stay in with you.”

“That’s fine baby, whatever you want. And again, I’m really really sorry, I can’t say it enough how terrible I feel about all of this. I love you and I’m gonna make it up to you, I promise.” he takes your hand as you walk back up to his apartment.

“I know Pete, and I love you too, always remember that.”

#ask #request #anon #peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker fic #peter parker angst #peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfic #peter parker blurb #peter parker x fem!reader #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #soph writes #soph's blurbs

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goldensstateofgrace · 3 years

Text

Dream Of How You (Tasted) - Chapter One -

(So... my first Series!!! I’ll be working on this a lot, and i want you to know it’s not gonna be perfect because I’m not perfect and my writings definitely not perfect, so bare with me on this journey please!! Who’s ready for some Camgirl!y/n??)

A story about Y/N becoming a camgirl because she needs the money but also because she gets off on the praise she gets from total strangers. She enjoys helping other’s get off while doing so herself. When talk about a one on one session with a guy who always watches her streams becomes reality, what happens when she finds out it was her crush/best friend all along?

I hope you guys are excited!! bc I know I am!! Hope you enjoy, happy reading!!

(Also, i picture Harry as long haired harry, but you can picture him however you’d like!!!)

Word count: 1.7k (4 pages) (i promise the other chapters will be longer!)

Y/n didn’t know college could be so expensive, her job at the coffee shop on campus just wasn’t cutting it anymore. She needed to find something else to help pay for school and her rent.

She’s in her second year of uni, all the book costs and the rent for having an apartment so close to campus is outrageous. She tried to find a second job to help with the money problem she was currently having, but couldn't find anything that could work around her classes and coffee shop schedule.

Her best friend, Harry, tried to get her a job alongside him at his job, but again the schedule didn’t work for her and they couldn’t change it. So now, she's stuck trying to find something to do so close when she needs to pay her rent.

It was outrageous how much the rent was for a one bedroom apartment close to campus, it’s a thousand - some dollars a month just to be close to campus, but that’s including her light and water bill so she can’t complain too much.

Harry had offered to let her move in with him to cut down the cost, so she could save some money for school. But she declined because her boyfriend at the time didn’t feel comfortable with it, only to find out on their one year anniversary that he had been cheating on her for a while. Asshole.

Nothing has been said since, but she wished he would. Moving out of her apartment would help so much, but she didn’t want to ask.

Lost in her thoughts she didn’t even notice Harry walking beside her, as she walked across the courtyard to class.

“Why so glum” he nudged her in the side with his elbow, startling her out of her thoughts. She slaps in on the arm, chuckling, “Harry! Don’t do that!”

“You didn’t answer the question, What’s wrong? And don’t give me the ‘Nothing im fine!’ thing you do,” he says, mimicking a higher pitched girly voice, chuckling once he was done.

“Heyy! I don’t sound like that you twat!” you backhand his abdomen making him rub his stomach area as he grimaces in slight pain.

“But” she starts, “i’ve just been struggling again, i tried looking for a job but, just like last time the schedule didn’t line up with any of my classes or with when i was working at the coffee shop.” she says, huffing in annoyance.

Harry nods his head as she talks, listening to her, wishing he could help in some way. He tried before, but she turned him down, she didn’t even tell him why. He figured it had something to do with that cheating ex of hers.

“Y/n, if you need help, all you have to do is ask. I’ll always be her to help you in any way I can,” he tells her, his eyes flickering over her face, showing nothing but seriousness, a drastic change from his happy light hearted self he was just a few minutes ago.

She casts her eyes away from him, focusing her eyes on the pavement under her feet as she walks. She doesn’t say anything for a while, but eventually she looks up at him, tears filling her eyes.

“I know” she nods, “Thank you, Harry. You don’t have to, but thank you,” she says, the tears in her eyes threatening to spill down her cheek but they don’t get the chance as she wipes them away before they do.

Harry wraps his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side and placing a kiss to her head, “I may not have to, but i want to.” he mumbles into the top of her head.

Her arm wraps around his middle as they continue to walk to their second class of that morning, “Thank you.”

--------------

“You know what you should do?” Harry's friend Niall says as y/n, Harry, Niall and y/n’s friend Amy sit around a table in the coffee shop having lunch. Y/n quirks her eyebrow up as she takes a bite of her turkey sandwich, motioning him to go on.

Y/n had just got finished telling them about how she was in search of another job, and about how she needed the money to pay rent soon.

“You should do only fans, or p*** h**, they make lots of money and that way you get something out of it other than stress and tiredness.” he says, making her almost choke on her sandwich.

“W-what!” y/n says just as Harry says “Dude! No!”

“What’s the big deal? Lots of people do it, and you don’t even have to show your face. You could even go by a different name!” Niall reasons.

Y/n was shocked by his suggestion, but she wouldn’t lie and say she was put off by the idea. Nobody would know it was her, and he did have a point about her not having to go by her own name.

She couldn’t believe she was actually considering this but, you have to do what you have to do.

“yeah uh” she clears her throat, “good suggestion Ni, but i think i’ll just stick with trying to find a job near campus” she says, chuckling as she takes another bite of her sandwich.

“eh, it was worth a shot,” he laughs, before the conversation steers to assignments everyone had to get done and ones they’ve already done.

After they all finish eating they sit around talking for a little bit before Y/n and Harry had to head for their last class of the day.

As they walk to class, Harry’s arm that’s thrown over y/n’s pulls her into his side, “You know Niall was coming from a good place, right. He didn’t mean to offend you or anything,” he says, making you look up at him with your brows furrowed in confusion.

“yeah , i know. I didn’t take any offence to it, but…” she trailed off, “What?” harry asks, motioning for her to continue as they walk past a group of people blocking the sidewalk.

“Would it be so bad? I mean he had a point about me not having to show my face or use my actual name” she said, her eyes flicking over his face for some kind of clue into what he thought of it all.

Harry doesn’t say anything for a while, it’s just as they were about to walk into their class that he pulled her to the side and let their other classmates go in first, “I don’t have a problem with it, it’s your body, you have the right to do whatever you want with it. If you decide that that’s what you want to do to make the money you need i’ll support you 100%, if not i’ll still support you, no matter what,” He tells her, looking into her eyes with nothing but seriousness splayed across his face.

Y/n nods, standing up on her tiptoes and reaching her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, “Thank you, Harry. I honestly don’t know what i’d do without you!” she mumbles into his neck as his arms wrap around her waist pulling her impossibly closer to his chest.

“I don’t either honestly” he laughs, pulling away from her with a huge contagious smile across his face, only making her laugh and smile too.

“Come on, let's go to class,” he said, throwing his arm back around her shoulder and leading her through the classroom doors.

----------------

It was later that night, y/n couldn’t sleep. Her thoughts running wild with what could happen if she did decide to become a camgirl, or whatever it was called these days.

She was laying in bed, trying to find out more about what comes with being a camgirl, what she needed to do and what other people were looking to watch.

She had found a girl, her page consisting of videos showing off her curves and sexy lingerie, along with videos of her using toys on herself. All of the videos have over thousands of views, y/n decided that she would message the women who went by ‘daddiespet20’.

Rewrote her message so many times she lost count before she finally found what she wanted to ask and sent the message,“Hey! I’m y/n, i was wondering if you could maybe help me, i’ve been looking into getting into only fans. Could you maybe help me with some questions I have?”

She waited a while for a reply back, along with going down a tiktok rabbit hole, laughing at the stupid tiktoks Harry posted the other day. Her phone finally pinged with a notification, she quickly pulled the notification bar down to see it was a reply from the women she had messaged, “Daddiespet20: Hi! Yes ofc, ask away.”

She honestly wasn’t expecting to get a reply back, thinking the women must have thousands of people messaging her all day every day.

Y/n quickly wrote out a message of the main questions she wanted answered, “Thank you sm! It’s only a few questions, 1: does the amount you get paid rely on the amount of views you get on each of your videos?, 2: how did you gain your audience, and keep them interested in what you were putting out?, 3: Do you have any tips on where to start (seeing as I'm new to all of this)?”

The woman answers all of y/n’s questions with no problem, along with telling her some tips on how to get started and how to gain followers. The conversion ends after messaging back and forth for almost an hour, y/n’s walking away with all the information she was looking for plus more.

Talking to her really helped y/n come to the decision that this is what she was going to do, she was going to make videos of her showing off her body and pleasuring herself. Never in a million years did she think she would come to this just so she could keep a roof over her head and stay in school.

Now all she had to do was buy some sexy lingerie and some toys, well more toys. What? She’s not a prude!

It was getting late so she decided she would go to bed and figure everything out tomorrow, along with ordering her underwear and the toys online. She definitely didn’t need anyone from school seeing her by that stuff. God, she could just imagine the embarrassment she would feel if that happened.

---------------

Feed back is highly appreciated!! Hope you enjoyed 🥺🥰

#harry styles x y/n #harrystylessmut #harryfic #harrystylesfic #harry styles imagine #harrystyles #harry styles x reader #camgirl!y/n

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jeonjeonggukenergy · 4 years

Text

Anti-Hero

summary ~ in search of wine at a party that’s so not your scene, you run into jungkook, the weeb from your film class, and become determined to learn just how much he lives up to his big reputation.

pairing ~ jungkook x reader

genre ~ fluff, smut - college!au

wordcount ~ 8.5k

warnings ~ 18+ only! smut, explicit discussion of kinks/sexual preferences (yay healthy communication), dom/sub undertones during both discussion and sex (dom Jungkook, sub reader), mentions of daddy kink and degradation but both are a no, marking, biting, hair pulling, spanking, they both have a srs pain kink lmao, brief oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, creampie

a/n ~ SO excited to finally have this chapter out for yall! it’s a huge one and i’ve been working on it for quite a while, this includes the first full smut scene for this fic and i would love to know how yall like it or any other feedback. i really enjoyed writing the character development in this chapter too! they’re so cute and whipped for each other already hhhhhh. thank you so much for loving this story so far, i’m really looking forward to writing the rest. hope you enjoy! ❣️

previous: chapter 1 | chapter 2 ~ next: chapter 4 (coming soon!)

~ read on ao3 ~

CHAPTER 3 ~ particular, perfect

You concluded your walk home by ditching your shoes at the door, swinging your bag off your shoulders to the floor, and plopping down onto the couch immediately. Pulling all three nearby blankets over yourself, you realized you still weren't quite comfortable. You looked around for a second, puzzled, until an absentminded clutch of your boobs reminded you why. Triumphantly, you reached into a sleeve to untangle your bra and chucked it across the room with a deep stretch of relief. Okay, time to overthink again.

Jungkook? What the fuck?

Wait. A bag of chips on the kitchen counter caught your eye before you could descend any further into panic. The perfect emotional crutch. You clutched it to your chest like a safeguard against your own internal monologue, anxiously shoving handful after handful into your mouth. After about thirty minutes spent motionless on the couch with one hand shoved in the chip bag and the other distractedly scrolling through Twitter, your eyes suddenly widened and your hand froze, dropping your next bite of chips back into the bag. Fuck. You had just eaten nearly an entire family-size bag of chips before what could end up being your first fuck in over a year. Well, maybe this was part of why you hadn't gotten fucked in over a year. No, don't go there. You shoved down your own insecurity, knowing you'd just been too busy for a relationship and honestly, probably still were. But that wasn't going to stop you today.

You shook the chip dust off of your hands and got up to head to the shower, turning up your trashiest throwback playlist of getting-ready bops and resolving to at least shave your legs. Going in with no expectations was probably the best strategy here, but it never hurt to be prepared.

Having cleaned his apartment in record time, Jungkook was now at the gym. After triple-checking that his roommate Jin would be in rehearsal until 10pm at the earliest, he quickly scanned all the common spaces and his bedroom and realized he didn't actually have that much work to do besides politely closing the door to Jin's still-decent-but-somewhat-messier room. To be honest, Jungkook had mainly bought himself the time after class so he could shave just in case. But then he figured if he had to shower, he might as well hit the gym first. So here he was, burning off an unprecedented amount of nervous energy. Settling comfortably into the leg curl machine, he turned his music up and started on a low weight to put in reps until his thighs burned and his head felt pleasantly empty.

After completing his normal leg day rotation and dutifully stretching, Jungkook prepared to head home. He walked out of the gym feeling more energized and centered, barely even flinching when he switched his AirPods off to say bye to the nice girl at the front desk and the action accidentally blasted "Whistle" by Flo Rida from his phone speaker for the whole lobby to hear. As he walked back into his apartment, the kitchen clock let him know it was only 4:30. He had plenty of time. Jungkook hopped straight into the shower, shampooing his hair, shaving everywhere he normally did, and savoring several extra moments to relax his muscles under the hot stream of water. Finally, he toweled off to wrap up in the black t-shirt and cozy matching sweatpants he'd carefully stacked on the counter. Offhandedly singing to himself in the steamy mirror, he checked the time on his phone, deciding he might as well go ahead and text you before he got nervous again and did something stupid. Like chickening out completely.

hey its jk! im ready when u are :) my apt is 344 glencoe rd #1521 (yes its on the 15th floor sry D: )

His charming old-school smileys lit up your phone while you still had a leg perched on the bathtub's edge.

"Fuck!" you reacted. The hiss resounded, thanks to the too-good acoustics of your cramped bathroom. Your razor clattering to the floor, you paused your max-volume 2000s music to check the message, and then the time. Only 5! That wasn't dinnertime yet. Plugging his address into Google Maps, though, you realized it was a 15- to 20-minute drive from yours on the opposite end of campus. Even if you got ready at light-speed, you would get there closer to 5:30. Which was a bit more reasonable. He was being reasonable! You should be ready by now!

You leaned over to pick up your razor and cursed again as the water stream grazed the blouse you'd left on out of laziness. You'd showered this morning, so there was no need to repeat that with your shave, but now you'd have to change outfits completely. Feeling like an idiot, naked from the waist down but now all the way wet, you peeled the shirt over your head slowly to preserve your good hair day and glanced down at the dilemma you'd been facing. The patch of hair between your legs stared back at you like the final boss of stupid societal beauty standards. You'd only shaved down there once, as an anniversary present for your first boyfriend the summer before college, and it had been a fun, smooth novelty for about two hours and then itchy, red, gross-looking, and miserable for about three weeks. Also, it had kind of made you feel like a little girl, which creeped you out when you thought about why guys would prefer it. You'd been debating whether to try it again for the past fifteen minutes, because if there was ever a right time, this was probably it. But now you didn't have time, if you were going to be respectful and not keep Jungkook waiting. Well, this was the real you. He could take it or leave it.

Slathering a quick coat of lotion over your freshly shaved legs, you prepared to get dressed in a soft pastel sweatshirt and a flattering pair of workout shorts. Wait, should you wear lingerie? Was that too try-hard? You didn't really even need to wear underwear with these lined shorts, which could be a cool-girl move, you supposed. You settled on a cute white sports bra to go with the shorts, not wanting to deal with a real bra and hoping it still appealed to Jungkook's casual, athletic style. You checked yourself in the mirror briefly before grabbing your bag, confirming you looked chill enough but still felt like your best color-coordinated self. Heading out, you shoved a tin of chrysanthemum green tea in your water bottle pocket. Why not?

You whizzed over to Jungkook's apartment, yelling along to "Sex With Me" by Rihanna from your throwback playlist to hype you up in the car. When you knocked on his door after a nerve-wrackingly long elevator ride, Jungkook welcomed you with a "C'mon in!" amidst a mouthful of shrimp chips.

"It's not really dinnertime yet," (yeah, no kidding, you thought) "I went ahead and worked out but it's still kind of early, so I figured we could just have a snack and do the homework first."

"Sounds good," you affirmed. "I'm not really that hungry," (read: there's no way I can eat chips AGAIN right now, I'm going to bloat so badly) "but I brought tea so I can go ahead and make that if you want some too!"

"Oh cool, thanks!" Jungkook accepted. "Are you sure you're not hungry though?"

You almost gave into his sweet pout, but managed to convince him, and soon you both sat at the table with laptops open and twin cups of tea. You had a blast working together for the first time, acting out your "conversation" for the discussion board and pretending to respond spontaneously to each other's points like you hadn't already excitedly rambled back and forth through them in real life. You hit "send" five minutes apart, your idea to not seem too suspicious, and kept raving over Rear Window in between. As the sun lowered outside his living room window, you moved on to making the ramen.

After three offers to help Jungkook, all of which he denied, you simply made another steep of the tea, leaving a mug on the counter for him. Standing at the bar counter sipping yours, you enjoyed all the tiny, cute noises he made while chopping green onions and sprinkling extra garlic in the seasoning, like an anime character who came with his own sound effects. You could tell he made these recipe additions every time, because bulk quantities of the same simple ingredients lined the counters of his cozy kitchen. When he beat two eggs and dropped them into the pot, though, he couldn't seem to find a lid, and eventually settled on trapping the steam with a plate. You both waited on the egg for a silent moment, your foot bouncing under the bar while Jungkook restlessly acquired a slight wiggle. As he took a sip of his tea, a strand of hair fell over his eyes, and he yeeted it out of his face. Your inner language nerd cringed, but there really was no more apt word to describe the action.

You offhandedly said you liked his hair long, and he replied with a smile, "Maybe I'll have to keep it then."

"Do you like it too?" you wondered.

"Honestly no, it's kind of inconvenient."

"Oh, then why would you keep it?" you immediately asked back.

"Well..." he dragged out. "You like it? Maybe I should keep it if it looks better this way."

Your eyes crinkled appreciatively at his thoughtfulness, but then you backtracked. "Wait, no, it's okay! If you don't like it, don't feel like you have to keep it just because of something I said. You can do whatever you want."

"Hm, yeah." A demure smile tugged up the corner of his mouth as he lifted the plate from the ramen pot.

You watched him drag a chopstick through the floating, now-cooked egg to tear it into ribbons, then divide the noodles between two generously-sized bowls. He carefully wiped down the drips of broth from each bowl before sprinkling in his fresh toppings, then walked with you to the table.

Serving you with a pleased smile and a slight nod, he announced, "Dinner!"

"Wow," you mused playfully. "So gourmet."

"I'm really particular about my ramen," he admitted. "I have it down to a perfect routine at this point."

You took your first slurp of his particular, perfect ramen. "Well, it's really good. I'm impressed. And thanks for making me dinner, you didn't have to do all that."

"Oh, come on, it's instant ramen," he laughed. "Nothing special. And you brought the tea, so thanks. And thanks for coming over. And doing the homework with me. And...yeah." Rambling again. Why did he seem so...nervous? You were nervous. He couldn't be nervous. What reason did he have to be? But the twitch of his mouth under his wide eyes, his slightly reddened ears, his hand skittering over his neck—fuck—to ruffle his hair...every action turned another page of his open book. It felt infuriatingly unfair that genetics had assigned someone so sweet and shy and unsure of himself to that fucking body.

While you both ate and talked, you kept catching glimpses of any small flashes of skin you could find, as his long sleeves fell to expose his forearms and the wide neckline of his boxy black shirt gaped around his collarbones. What was wrong with you? Even if this did eventually turn into a dick appointment, the boy still had literally all of his clothes on. You tried to refocus on finishing your noodles, while your brain screamed at itself in shame that you could get this turned on by the sight of someone covered from neck to ankle.

Jungkook ate surprisingly slowly, probably because he kept pausing to excitedly explain his favorite things about the Cowboy Bebop episode you were about to watch together. You smiled into your tea through every out-of-context fun fact and "wait, sorry, that might have been a spoiler!"

Finally, he reached the bottom of his bowl and insisted on both taking your dishes to the sink and leaving them for him to clean later. "You sure you want to start on episode 2? Not 1?"

"Yeah, I remember well enough and your summary helped a lot too!"

"Okay, if you're positive!" he double-checked, grabbing the remote.

Gingerly lowering yourselves to the couch in sync, you avoided looking at each other as you both tried to calculate a comfortable distance between you. His hand looked ready to either hold yours or lower to your thigh, but he retracted at the last second, smoothing it over his own leg anxiously and still clearly itching to make a move. You shuffled closer to him until your thighs barely touched, and he shifted to slink an arm around you, letting your head rest on his well-muscled shoulder. After pressing “play”, he began wiggling slightly again, subconsciously grooving to the old-newspaper-style intro. Spike Spiegel appeared on the screen, his broad shoulders squared into a slouch as he listlessly watched TV. Jungkook kicked one leg over another and stretched his arms out symmetrically to echo the pose. Raising an eyebrow, he waited until you acknowledged him with a faux grimace and a hand to your ear, imitating the old man in a lab who’d just called up Spike for a new mission. You both burst into laughter and settled back into your former arrangement, Jungkook holding you imperceptibly tighter. Though you tried to stay staring straight ahead, wanting to genuinely appreciate the anime, you kept catching his doe eyes in the corner of your sight as you both giggled and gasped your way through the episode.

After avoiding eye contact too many times, you finally tilted your head for a cute sideways view of his face. He leaned toward you too, shyly closing the gap to touch his warm lips to your nose, then lower. You responded immediately, rolling your body with his so your chests met as he pulled you up into a full, deeper kiss. The longer you explored each other's mouths, the more Jungkook punctuated your movements with whimpers. He seemed hesitant to let his hands roam away from your face and neck, but his high, breathy moans made it clear that he was just as into this as you. Your hands had naturally found his taut waist, and at some point you started to bring them back up to his face too—but as your short nails grazed his chest, a particularly sensual, voice-cracking moan interrupted you. You drew back in slight surprise, blinking your eyes open to scan from his face to his body.

He followed your gaze, both slowly settling on the massive tent in his pants. You froze. Your breath grew heavier, confronted with evidence of his physical attraction to you, if nothing else. After regaining his composure, he laid a useless hand over his lap in a delicate attempt to distract you and brought his other hand up to tap your face lightly.

"Is this okay?"

His eyes glittered with equal parts hunger and concern.

"Yes!" you nodded, too quickly, too eagerly. "Yes, this is totally okay. Sorry if I'm being weird, I just...it's been a while." You cringed internally at your own words, but couldn't seem to avoid putting your foot further in your mouth. "I haven't really, like, hooked up like this before—like, I've had sex, but never really outside of a relationship. But don't worry, I get this is more your thing, and I'm totally down if you are. I just don't really know what I'm doing, and you clearly do."

Jungkook blinked at your admission, then his face twisted into something curious, inscrutable. Would he decide you weren't worth the potential for drama? His lips flattened out to a tight line, then pursed to speak, and you looked down at your lap, hoping he wasn't as embarrassed of you as you now were of yourself.

"Well, I've never had sex sober."

Your eyes flashed back up to his. A complex half-smirk offset the furrow in his brow as he exhaled in nervous relief. "So, I don't actually know what I'm doing here either."

You tried to delay your response as you processed the implications. "You mean..." You tilted your head for better eye contact, hoping to convey empathy but not pity while you silently contemplated how to proceed. "Never?"

"Yeah, I've always shown up to parties and the hookups just...happened. Nothing I didn't want, nothing bad like that, but always spontaneous. So I guess we're kind of meeting in the middle, because I've never really had to plan ahead for a situation like this and, uh, figure out what I want. Beyond, yknow, wanting to get laid in the moment, of course." Jungkook laughed off the end of his explanation, but the smile never quite hit his eyes.

"Well, okay, let's pause right there." You sighed. Something in his words didn't sit right with you. "What do you want? I want you to be sure about this, of course, but more than that, even—what do you like?"

"I..." he chuckled, sheepish, shaking his hair over his face again. "What, you want me to just tell you? Like, what I'm into?"

"Yeah," you shrugged, trying to project more confidence than you felt in hopes of encouraging him to keep opening up. "I want you to be able to communicate, I want you to be comfortable. And I want to know what you like, so I can make it as good for you as possible."

With your hands still laid flat on his chest, you felt his heart rate jump a tiny bit, and took the liberty of digging your nails in just slightly deeper. His breath caught him, and then he caught himself. "I don't know, I just want what you want."

Jungkook struggled to appear nonchalant as you rolled your eyes with an "Oh, come on," challenging his avoidance. Every instinct was telling him yes. He could hear his mind screaming at him to be intentional for once and let you take him, if not farther, then deeper than ever before. But he still hesitated, because being intentional in this case required him to be real. He had always been a fairly private person, but something about you made him feel so comfortable so fast that it counterintuitively made him more nervous. Of course Jungkook knew you weren't all innocent at this point, but the risk remained that you wouldn't really be down for everything he secretly wanted to explore. Even worse, though he didn't truly think you would, you could easily turn around and spin anything he revealed into yet another graphic rumor. Especially since you had no skin in the game yourself. He glanced down at your fingers, tensed into his chest, and narrowed his eyes.

"Why don't you tell me what you like first? And then I can tell you where we overlap," he grinned competitively. Your eyes widened as he tossed the challenge back your way. Not backing down, you flattened your hands and steeled yourself to settle the stakes.

"Fine—but only if you promise not to just go along with whatever I say. I'll let you know anything that's a hard no for me, but otherwise I want to hear at least one thing that's not on my list. I really do want what you want, that's how I am too, okay? So..." you paused to slide your fingertips over his collar and drag it down with a light scratch, now directly on his skin. You smiled with your eyes, enjoying the way he naturally responded with a hitch of his breath again. "Surely you can think of something specific."

He nodded quickly, before he could convince himself to back out. "Yeah. Promise."

"Okay," you confirmed, slightly nervous but determined to go through with this, for Jungkook's sake if anything. Seeing his body come alive with each new twist of the situation was building your curiosity, not to mention turning you on beyond belief. You could barely stand the warmth of his skin under your hands, so you drew them back to fold in your lap as you began. "So. Uh. To start. I've never really laid it all out like this either. I really like neck kisses? Like, a lot." Equally unused to this kind of directness, you wrung your hands together nervously, but sucked up the boldness to keep elaborating. "That's definitely, like, a big thing that turns me on...and then getting marked up and everything is really hot to me too. Like you can honestly go really rough with me on that, bite me even. I don't know if this is weird but even though it's annoying to cover up, I love taking off the makeup at the end of the day and seeing all the bruises on myself. Knowing I was walking around all day with that as my little secret." You swallowed shyly before continuing, but Jungkook interrupted the brief silence immediately with a hushed "Fuck."

You turned to face him fully and he didn't even move to meet your stare, eyeing the space above your sweatshirt's wide neckline like he was ready to devour you. Emboldened, your smile grew.

"So...yeah. I like being bitten, marked up. Mostly, uh," you rubbed a slightly trembling hand over your shoulder, "I'm just really into pain in general. Obviously not the bad 'I'm too dry and you're jackhammering me' kind of pain, or like, anal. Anal is a hard no. But things like biting, or hair pulling, or overstimulation. Or, like—I don't really know how to explain this, but...getting held too hard? That deep pain like when you get a massage when you're sore and it hurts but it's good, yknow?"

Jungkook looked like he was about to vibrate out of his skin, breathing shallow and rapid. His eyes flicked up to meet yours, just in time for you to whisper in conclusion:

"I love that feeling."

You suddenly looked away, reticent. A thick silence swelled between you, until he composed himself enough to punctuate it. "Okay. Yeah. Pain. So like, BDSM?"

"I mean, kind of? Sure? I don't have much experience with that and I don't really need the whole power dynamic aspect; I just like the, uh, physical pain. I wouldn't be opposed to trying further, but one thing I do know is I really don't like being degraded. And I'm not into the whole daddy kink thing either. I'm just not gonna call you that, sorry," you laughed, and fortunately he giggled too. "But I know that's not, like, necessary to the rest of BDSM, and the part about giving up control is still...interesting, for sure."

"Wait," Jungkook cocked his head, making a mental note of your last sentence before he went back to the previous one. "What do you mean, being degraded?"

You half-chuckled, half-cringed, never having needed to explain something like this, especially to a guy you hopefully were about to fuck. Cheers to better communication, you supposed.

"You know, how some people when they do dirty talk are like 'yeah, you little slut, you're such a whore.' I don't like being called any of that. Like it's fine that other people like it, there's nothing wrong with that, it's just really uncomfortable for me."

His brows knit together as you explained, and he shook his head so fast it almost looked cartoonish, like a little kid refusing vegetables. "Yeah, no. Don't worry, not really my thing either."

You sighed in relief. "That's nice. I feel like it's, like, weirdly common with guys. Maybe just the kind of thing people learn from porn."

"But you still like it rough, huh? Did you learn that...from porn?" he half-joked, trying to overcome both his shyness and his gritted-teeth arousal.

"No, I don’t like porn. Most of it’s really unethical. I learned from experience," you sassed back. "I don't have a whole lot, but enough to know what I like."

"Well. Hm." He worked his tongue over his teeth, poking one cheek out over his tensed jaw. You couldn't get enough of watching him grow fascinated by your every revelation, and you were preparing to keep pressing further when he beat you to it, posing a question. "Is there anything you haven't tried before, but really want to?"

Your face heated up instantly, tasting your own medicine. You looked back to your hands, breaking his intense eye contact to give yourself the courage to be even more uncomfortably honest. "I...I...um." Your first attempt at disclosing your fantasy came out as a squeak. Swallowing, you set your shoulders and tried again, selfishly reminding yourself Jungkook seemed so eager to please that this was 99% likely to get you exactly what you wanted. "I've always been, uh, really into the idea of, um, getting spanked. I've been, uh, too nervous to ever bring it up, before now obviously, but it's definitely one of the biggest kinks I've always wanted to try. Maybe being tied up too, I think I'd like it if I tried but I haven't thought about that as much. But, yeah...spanking, definitely."

"Fuuuuuuuuck."

A lengthened version of Jungkook's earlier under-breath exclamation made you peer up at him. Your thighs already pressed together from the tension of admitting something totally new, you found yourself needing even more friction just from the sight of Jungkook with his head thrown back on the couch, a veiny hand threaded in his hair to pull the long waves back from his forehead. The full reveal of his sharp eyebrows brought a whole new level of intensity to Jungkook's already beautifully carved features. He glanced over at you, then squeezed his eyes shut with a terse exhale. You couldn't place why, but you felt a deep attraction to the way he expertly restrained himself from acting on the lust written over his face—not under your control, but his own.

"Oh, fuck. What the fuck. How the fuck would you fucking know," he swore more in a single burst than he cumulatively had ever in your presence.

"What?" you toyed, heart rate still high but relaxed enough to enjoy agitating him. "Something ring a bell?"

Jungkook shuddered out a long breath, hand ruffling his hair as his other forearm still tried desperately to subdue his boner.

"Everything," he hissed, more willing to elaborate now that you had done the same, and especially now that he could tell you really did enjoy him being more assertive. "Shit. I...I want...I know you said not to just say this but I really do want everything you want. I can't wait to mark you up. I can't wait to hold you down and bruise your neck. I want it all, I want to make you hurt so good. And then—" Breathless. He looked almost embarrassed. "Then you had to go and somehow guess basically my biggest fucking kink, I can't fucking believe you." Both hands had come up to seize his long locks as he held himself back physically, while finally letting his guard down mentally to declare everything he intended to do to you. Letting out a short laugh, he finally met your eyes. "I wanna spank your ass bright red. Fuck. This is crazy. You're perfect."

Your core throbbed at every bold word. Leaning in close to him, you let your lips approach Jungkook's beautifully sculpted jawline as he panted, his chin tossed up to fully expose his neck. You stopped just short of his skin, in awe of how much you'd been able to work him up and still so tempted to take it to the next level. "Fuck," you echoed. "This is so hot," you murmured almost to yourself. Your eyes closing along with his, you dealt the final blow. "I love that we have so much in common. But come on, you promised. One thing that's not on my list."

Jungkook whined. You could tell he needed to touch you so badly, and no one was stopping him but himself. He had no way of knowing that if he cut the whole discussion and just took you, you wouldn't even try to resist at this point. Staring at his trembling mouth from below, you quickly averted your eyes when he opened his, pretending you hadn't been looking. He inhaled a short hiss, and then spoke.

"Okay..." He paused after just the first word, blowing air through the tiny "o" of his mouth as his eyes bugged slightly from nervousness. He couldn't resist a challenge, though, and his urge to please you overwhelmed his reluctance to peel back one more layer. "So, the pain thing. I think we, uh, feel the same about me giving and you receiving. But...I'm really into it for myself too. I don't know if you'd be comfortable with it, I know you maybe want me to be more dominant and I think I like that more too in general, but you can be as rough with me as you want back. I'd love that." Eyes still open but fluttering, Jungkook's tone grew breathier, heady as he confessed. You almost giggled at how bashfully he worded his desire to dominate you, to rough each other up, but the contrast was so hot you couldn't help sucking your bottom lip between your teeth, eager for him to continue. His voice lowered. "I love being scratched, marked, bitten...hit me, push me back, any kind of pain or any way you can hurt me, I want it." He shivered, but his voice firmed up even further. "I want it so bad."

You fought to stay motionless beside him, unable to even process how much more his honesty had turned you on. You felt helpless in your desire for him, your craving to give him everything he wanted and more. He noticed your charged stillness and shifted toward you, removing a hand from his hair to finally reach for your face. Threading his fingers through your hair instinctively like he had with his own, he tilted your head back to access your neck. Jungkook finally felt confident enough to tease you back as he skimmed his lips over your pulse point, tugging your skin between his teeth for a gentle first taste and grinning when you moaned. Seeing someone so satisfied, for reasons better than just his body or their pride, brought the most incredible rush of blood to his head. And his other head.

"And I get why you want it too," he finished with a whisper in your ear. "So trust me when I say I really, really want to give it to you."

In an instant, your hands yanked his hair down to bring his face up to yours, mouths crashing together. Feverish, restless, you kissed him, hastily attempting to straddle his thick thighs before he threw his body over yours and pinned you to the back of the couch. His hands wandered, intrepid, from your waist to a quick squeeze of your breasts before he spiraled you into his strong arms. Pressing your chest flush with his as your mouths meshed, he ground his hips into you shamelessly, enjoying the way you struggled beneath him to align your core with his rock-hard dick.

"Your room?" You rushed out the words.

Jungkook laughed a little, his tone half whine and half dare. "So we're done talking?"

"Come on," you pleaded back. He finally relented, pulling you up with him and dragging you across the living room and through his door, lips not leaving yours for a second. You backed him into the bed with your arms against his strong chest, and once he was sitting perched on the edge, you laid yourself horizontally over his thighs.

"What are you doing?" he murmured, curling a hand over the dip of your waist to hold you gently.

You angled your head back to make unsteady eye contact with him, flipping your shorts down boldly. His free hand automatically reached to slowly conform to the shape of your ass, so eager to touch you but tentative as he grazed your curves.

"Giving you exactly what you want."

"Fuck. Really? You're sure about this?" Jungkook held careful eye contact as you brought your arms back up, crossing your wrists over your head delicately. You nodded slightly and did your best to meet his gaze with confident invitation, convincing him how much you trusted and wanted him.

He smoothed his warm hand over your ass one more time, then brought it up and watched your thighs tighten at the loss of his touch. Breathing in, still a little shakily, he brought his hand down on your right cheek with a loud but mild smack. A grunt of satisfaction involuntarily left him when he saw your face flinch down into the sheets, subduing a small noise of surprise. He returned his hand to caress the light redness he'd left, checking in with you again. "Is this okay? Let me know if I should stop."

You replied with your face still tucked between your arms, muffled by the bed. "More than okay. Please don't stop."

He spanked you again, moving to your left cheek. This time you felt his dick twitch under you and couldn't help grinding down on him a little bit. "Is that as hard as you can go?" you taunted in low tones, brave enough to egg him on but not quite enough to meet his eyes again.

Jungkook's thighs and core tensed under you, and he squeezed his fingertips tighter, digging into the skin of your ass. "Not at all," he said simply.

Deep breath. A few seconds passed, and his hand came down, harshly. You cried out in shock, the timing unexpected and the sting far sharper, and he gave your other cheek a fourth hard smack before you could even process the third one. "Harder?" he tested. "Tell me."

Another spank. "Mmmf."

"You like this, huh?"

"Yes, I told you," you whimpered back, half-teasing even though you were in no position to do so. Immediately, he cut you off with a stinging hit across both cheeks, and you moaned.

"You really do," he breathed lowly. "Fuck yeah. Take it then."

He spanked you again, and again, then paused, tugging down your shorts all the way to your ankles to expose the crease right above your thighs. Rubbing your already sore bottom, Jungkook cupped the underside of its curve in his big, firm hand. Already anticipating your whine, he drew back his touch and hummed in harmony with you. He continued landing satisfyingly hard smacks, alternating to cover your ass evenly. His dick strained through his pants more and more each time you trembled under his touch. Never hitting you hard enough to do serious damage, he still clearly enjoyed his thorough reddening of your ass, and occasionally took a moment just to caress your skin as it warmed from the spanking. The pain lit your senses up from head to toe. Face burning with deep arousal, you mentally thanked yourself for going out of your comfort zone and unprecedentedly admitting your kinks before even venturing into your first time together. Amidst the thrilling sting of his hand meeting your soft curves, Jungkook eventually noticed your thighs clenching together, craving friction but not really wanting relief from the pleasurable burn.

"You're wet," he marveled, sliding two warm fingers up and down your slit.

"Mhm," you mumbled back as you tilted your hips into his hand. He gave you a light slap right on the folds between your legs, eliciting another soft moan.

"So good for me," Jungkook said softly, pulling you up into his lap by your waist. "You look so pretty like this. I wanna see all of you." He tugged your sweatshirt over your head, followed by your sports bra, thankful that it stretched over your head easily. Suddenly grinning, he wound up and shot it across the room like a rubber band, and you smacked his arm, giggling.

"What was that? You cheeseball," you teased, and he blinked, chuckling lightly back. It occurred to him that he'd never laughed, or made someone laugh, during sex before.

"It was so stretchy! Don't make fun of me," he blushed.

"You're so cute," you said, fingers sliding under his t-shirt hem.

"Cute?" His eyebrows rose in mock disbelief, and he reached around to land another hit to your still-red asscheek.

"Hot," you amended. Raising his shirt and finally getting a full glimpse of his enviable abs, you groaned. "You're extremely hot, and also really cute, and it's kind of ridiculous and I don't really know how to handle all of it at once."

His face scrunching up into a smile at the praise, he fell back onto the bed with his arms behind his head. "You are too, you know. Really cute, of course. But really hot too." As you discarded his shirt and moved on to easing his sweatpants down his hips, you held in a gasp as his erection sprung up from the waistband. He was big, thick, and painfully hard, his tip glistening warm with precum and a lone vein running prominently up his smooth shaft. Although you wouldn't be corroborating them, you had to admit to yourself that all the rumors were true. You instinctively curled a hand around it, barely covering half his length, and he winced at your slightest touch. Pulling off with a single slow stroke, you slid his sweatpants and briefs all the way to the floor and then stood, looking up from his legs to his blown-out eyes to take in the glorious sight of his fully naked body.

"You shave," you said, surprised by the clean skin under his arms and between his legs.

"Yeah," he demurred, self-conscious for some reason. He lowered his arms to fold them over his torso, somehow defining his biceps even more. "I'm on the dance team, and it's nice to feel all smooth for practice and stuff. I don't know, I just like it."

"Oh, that's cool! No worries, I like it too. And you don't mind that..." You looked down at yourself, still just standing naked in front of him. "...I don't? Like, down there at least."

"No, you do you!" he said quickly. With a shy smile, he admitted, "I actually kind of like it on you. I do this for me, anyway, not for anyone else," he playfully noted. Slowly, he was sitting up to take hold of your waist and lower you down to the bed with him. Pausing to kiss the sweet spot under your jaw, he continued. "So don't feel like you have to do anything, or not do anything, either."

Jungkook couldn't quite explain the nature of how his attraction to you had developed. Seeing how open and honest you were with him made it easy for him to be honest with you too, and just to feel comfortable being himself. He admired the way he could still tell you sometimes got nervous like him, but it didn’t stop you from getting real or going bolder. Unable to fully express it in words, he just hoped to ensure you felt as comfortable and respected around him as he did around you. He already knew that he wanted this to be more than just a one-time thing, and while he still hesitated to assume that you felt the same, he intended to leave no doubt by the end of the night.

You moaned as he nipped at the skin of your neck. It was so easy to get swept back up in Jungkook. You could barely handle the friction of his dick rutting against your wet folds from below, craving him inside you. "Ughhh. Wait, one more thing. I'm on the pill, are you clean?"

"Yes," he gasped, barely removing his mouth from your jaw. "Are you?"

"Yeah, so we don't need a condom. If that's cool with you!"

"Yeah! But, you're ready?" He seemed surprised.

"Aren't you?" you whined, beyond holding back. He felt so unbearably hard that his coherence and willpower kind of surprised you too. "Please, I want you so bad."

To your surprise, he lowered his head to the crest of your legs, dotting wet kisses down your torso. Keeping his big brown eyes on you, he teased your entrance with a finger and echoed your immediate groan at the welcome stretch.

"You really are ready," he remarked, awed at the ease with which your wetness sucked the digit in. Frankly, you were in awe as well. It had taken your ex-boyfriend months to figure out how to get you this worked up. Jungkook either had even more experience than you'd heard from the grapevine, or he was a natural. Or maybe you were just really, ridiculously, primally attracted to him. He went on to curve his finger in you and lick a messy swipe up your folds, sucking hard once he reached your sensitive clit. You cried out at the delicious burst of stimulation and he rose up to catch your lips with his.

"I had to do that, just once," he grinned breathlessly. "But—"

"Let me suck you off," you interjected, unbelievably fucking turned on and dying to please him.

"No," he gasped with far more fervency than you'd think anyone could refuse a blowjob. "Please, I was about to say—" he choked out a high-pitched moan as you ran a single finger up his shaft in anticipation, sinking the nails of your other hand into his thigh. "—I think I'm gonna explode if I don't get inside you right this second."

So he did have a breaking point. "Fuck," you muttered, bringing your legs around his to tuck your heels under his tight ass as he lined up. He eased his tip in, keeping heavy eyes on you the whole time, and you could feel the hot, thick tension in his thighs as he struggled to hold himself back from just thrusting into your heat. Slowly, he drew closer into you until he bottomed out with a low moan. You whined at the perfect slight pain of the stretch, and Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut, gripping you by your waist. Watching the veins in his forearms stand out as he drove almost all the way out and back into you, you rocked your hips carefully against his with each smooth stroke, getting used to his fullness. When his balls met your ass again, he shuddered a bit and opened his eyes into yours.

You answered his question before he could even ask it. "Jungkook—you feel so good. You can go faster, it's okay."

A smile hit his eyes before his mouth, and he kissed you once, pressing his chest to yours and intertwining your tongues eagerly. You bit his bottom lip as he slowly drew away, tugging it between your teeth to pull a sweet little whimper from his throat. Grinning, he leaned back in to touch his forehead to yours and simultaneously slid a subtle hand under your ass to curve your hips up with his. The slight leftover sensitivity of your skin amplified his light touch, and Jungkook seemed to realize this, curling his fingers to tease you with the tips of his nails. Instinctively, you ducked to bite his neck, not even registering your move to pass the pain back to him until he choked out a beautifully half-restrained moan and snapped his hips into yours. Gasping, you encouraged him to lose himself in you, dragging your lips up to latch around his earlobe. He hissed and thrust into you sharply again, meeting the time of your movements as you swirled your tongue between each of his hoop earrings. Soon he was pounding you rhythmically, finally letting you feel the full force of his strength but keeping remarkable control over both his body and yours. Both of you had gone silent except for your heavy breaths, lost in the moment, but the flexed shivers of his thighs and twitches of his fingers in your hair told you all you needed to know. Suddenly yanking your strands to pull you back from the additional bruise you'd sucked beneath his ear, he earned a new set of scratches on his back as your hands dragged down the muscular expanse in reply. Jungkook switched places with you to draw dark clouds from your skin, a storm brewing under your jaw. Your face fell into pure bliss, eyes shut and immersed in the barrage of sensation from his hands, mouth, and big dick filling you. Already feeling the familiar tension that preceded an orgasm building through your whole body, you chased him closer to his climax too, grinding back roughly into every thrust and raking your hands over every part of his firm body you could reach.

You had really been fooling yourself when you thought you could try something casual for once. You wanted more of Jungkook, all of Jungkook, nothing but Jungkook ever again. Knowing he'd never even gone back to the same hookup twice sank slight anxiety into your stomach, a kind of future nostalgia for this moment you already feared losing. You knew you weren't anything special compared to the catalogue of gorgeous girls he'd had his turn with, but a deviant voice whispered from the back of your mind that you could be, because it was clear none had bothered to learn him like this. You'd still try your desperate best not to want too much from him, but you resolved to do whatever you could to make him crave more.

Rolling your hips in a smooth circle against him, you clenched around his dick and your hands tightened their fierce hold on his tiny waist. You felt his abs tense within your grasp as he tried not to stutter into you.

"Fuck. No." His voice cracked, but held an undertone of ferocity. "You come first." Jungkook rushed a hand to your clit, adding pressure in small, deft motions with a fingertip as he kept fucking you deep. You sank your teeth into his shoulder in response, drawing your hands up his back to clutch him closer to you, and Jungkook cried out. You left your mouth on his golden skin to stifle your moans as he sped up his fingers, and he tried to let you stay there but eventually couldn't help pulling you off him to see your face. Eyes narrowed and eyebrows turning up sharp at the ends, he watched you like a hawk to track the exact moment when he pushed you over the edge. Your face crumpled and you felt your whole body burn under his gaze as you came, squeezing around him in waves of pleasure while he fucked you through your high, unrelenting. Drinking up the bliss obvious on your features, Jungkook's eyes never left yours and his expression grew more and more fucked out. You marveled at how even as you lost control and energy to fuck him back, your body freezing in orgasm seemed to turn him on further. One last pulse of the tension leaving your core made his dick throb inside you, and you impulsively broke your eye contact to lean in and bite down slow but hard on his neck again. He gasped.

"You're amazing." Murmuring into his skin, you kissed the bite marks gently. Jungkook whimpered at the sweet contradiction and lurched into your hips even harder. You recovered to move with him, squeezing him deeper into you every time he bottomed out, and as his breathless moans escalated in pitch, his whole body shivered with each stroke. Pressing wet, heavy kisses all over his neck, you felt his jaw flutter while his lips hung open. His considerable strength spent, Jungkook shuddered one last hard thrust into you and finally let go, coating your walls from within. His hips lightly rocked against yours as he stayed deep inside you, still hard and savoring the euphoric release he'd held back for so long. You felt so incredibly warm and comfortable around his sensitive dick, relaxed but still holding him tight, and he couldn't help holding you up for a languid kiss before pulling out of you smoothly.

He briefly looked into your eyes, and you saw stars. The sun had continued to set outside, and it peeked between the blinds of his window to wrap you both in a warm, slivered glow. Staring down at his hands on your body, Jungkook took a deep breath and collapsed to your side, holding you close. You settled into him, cupping a hand over his head on your chest. With your fingers laced through his sweaty hair, you stroked his temple with your thumb, worrying for a second whether the gesture seemed too intimate but forgetting your fear when he snuggled up into your touch. You felt the need to say something, to figure out what the fuck was next after this, but stayed silent, not wanting to disturb the comforting weight of his frame. Heartbeat still racing, Jungkook stretched out to breathe a long sigh. As he sank back into you, you stretched under him too, letting his solid, warm body drape over you like a blanket. This couldn't be farther from what you'd expected with him, but you weren't about to make it stop. Surely, eventually, he would.

A minute passed. And then five. And then, before either of you could talk yourselves out of it, you were asleep, intertwined.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader smut #bts smut #bts fic #bts fanfic #college!jungkook #college au!jungkook #bts college au #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #my writing #fic: anti-hero #anti-hero #anti hero

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alt0stratuscloud · 2 years

Text

A year ago today, I was losing interest in the dream smp.

Don't remember my reasons for it? I think I was losing some of my friends I had in the fandom was part of it. And I wasn't sure I was even going to watch the stream for that day. But I clicked into Techno's stream anyways, and that stream single-handedly brought me enough excitement and joy to bring me back into adoring it.

I think that's a big part of why I've always hated the whole apologism discourse thing that this fandom has. It's people finding any reason they can to say that we aren't allowed to watch certain streamers, because they're invested enough in the story of the character they like that anyone who likes one who's wronged them obviously has to be a horrible person. There's no "yeah they're evil and I like them anyways", just people getting defensive, sending threats flying back and forth because they all see themselves in the characters and their enemies in those of the character. And I was a major Tubbo watcher, so if I were on tumblr yet and talking about it, I would have been convinced by the discourse I couldn't like c!techno. And I never would have had my interest renewed, and who knows what other fandom I would have drifted off to. I never would have met the friends I did here, would have grown a very different way.

I think that it's important to let people watch things just because they bring them joy. To enjoy characters just because they have a nice voice or a nice house or good jokes. How many great things have been lost from this fandom's fighting?

So, fast forward to today. I'm in the hermitcraft fandom, trying to get deeper and deeper in it. I still follow almost only dream smp streamers on twitch. I don't keep it open at all times anymore, only check in twice a day or so and have only watched Foolish, Tubbo and Joe Hills for the past few weeks, each only briefly. I decide, since it's the anniversary of something important, to check in on dsmpblr. See what's going on.

The entire tag is just people fighting, comparing doomsday to the actual takeover attempt that happened in the real world a year ago today, and a little bit of art.

So, now that I've gotten my long, dramatic speech out of the way: I'm fucking done! Glad I stayed here an extra year but that's it! This fandom's just getting worse, even on tumblr. I've got other places I can be now, I'm not going to be drifting without a fandom for months if I leave. I kind of had this whole train of thought on the day last life ended, that I was ready to move on from this fandom, but yeah this is me actually putting it in words now. Probably going to watch a stream or video from time to time, but all this fandom is at this point is waiting months on empty promises and tearing each other to shreds in the process of it. I'm out. Goodbye, good luck on hopefully getting better as a fandom, and good riddance.

#dream smp #mcyt #dsmp #fandom critical #It's possible I'm being overdramatic and will be back like tomorrow or something #but these are my thoughts on the topic right now #and have been for several weeks

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magnoliasinbloom · 4 years

Text

Crash Course Love

Claire and Jamie are together for one purpose only: trying to get over their previous relationships. It’s just a plan, isn’t it?

Infinite thanks to @lcbeauchampoftarth and @anna-swims for being awesome betas. There is no posting schedule, because life™. I hope you enjoy this ride.

AO3

1: Drink [Claire]

I slammed my tiny shot glass down hard on the bar top. It earned me a dirty look from what’s-his-face, the bartender.

“Hey… hey! Yeah, another one over here, please.” My words weren’t quite slurred yet, but I was getting there fast. Bloody fuck.

I swiveled on the barstool, just enough to get a real good look at the people who were milling around the crowded Glasgow bar. Which bar was I at again… Prince Edward? Prince Charles? Some royal name.

I was past being discreet. I craned my neck and checked out every booth and table just to make sure they were really gone. The bartender nudged my arm with my new drink and I felt for it blindly, never taking my eyes off the tiny dance floor.

“Cheers, Robert.”

“It’s Rupert,” he grunted.

“Whatever.” I pulled the tequila hard and fast, barely grimacing as it burned its way down.

“Och. Tha’ looks painful. I might have to try that.”

The voice came from my left, a slightly slurred Scottish burr. I turned slowly, wiping my mouth rather sloppily with the back of my hand. I squinted in the dim light.

His hair was the first thing I noticed. It was an attractive mess, and I couldn’t tell if it was the shitty lighting or his natural color, but it was so red it looked fake.

I realized I’d been staring at the top of this lad’s head like an idiot, before finally meeting his gaze. Deep blue eyes—a rare form of sapphire—looked back at me, also squinting through the haze of cigarette smoke and dim lighting.

Bloody fuck, he was a hot mess. I felt a twinge of equal parts guilt and self-righteous anger. I thought maybe it was a bit too soon for me to notice other attractive men, but the anger spoke up even louder. Why shouldn’t I engage in interesting conversations with random, gorgeous men? The anger in me won.

Wait, he’d said something. What was it? He wanted to do a shot?

“Um, it’s Cuervo. I think I might go blind if I keep drinking this, but that’s okay. Then I won’t have to see that arsehole walking around with that stroppy cow.”

Oops, overshare. At least I hadn’t hurled tequila and pub mix all over him. Yet.

Attractive blue-eyed lad raised his eyebrows. He was just as shit-faced as I was, maybe even a bit more. “Arsehole? Who would that be?”

Oh, might as well. “My ex. Turns out those late-night work meetings that went on for months were late-night sex marathons with Sandy. The arm-candy.”

“Sandy? The stroppy cow, I assume?” He smirked and tossed back the remainder of his own drink. “Which would make you…?”

“Claire. Spurned but pissed ex-girlfriend.” I held out my hand.

He took it in his and squeezed it gently. “Jamie, spurned and sad ex-boyfriend.” The tequila must have kicked in; my hand and arm felt all tingly and a warmth sparked in my belly.

“So. Any particular sorrows you’re drowning in cheap liquor?” I faced the bar again, looking at him out of the corner of my eye.

“Och, aye. But I daresay they’re halfway gone now.” Jamie shook his empty glass and the ice clinked. “My third.”

I snorted. “Fourth.” I held up my own shot glass in Ronald’s—or was it Reuben’s?—direction. “My good man, two please.” I glanced at Jamie, smiling wickedly. “You need to catch up.”

“Aye, but I really dinna want to risk going blind.” He called out to Rodolfo (Riley?), “Make it Patron, please.”

“Patron, huh? Is she worth it?” I caught his gaze.

Jamie’s eyes hardened, but I could tell it wasn’t towards me. “No. But I am.”

“Fair enough.” The glasses were placed in front of us and I raised mine to his. I stood, wobbling a bit and he did the same. “A toast—to Jamie and Claire. May their exes catch amoebic dysentery and shit till they die.”

“Amen.” He held his own shot aloft and touched the rim to mine. We looked at each other for a moment before we downed the golden liquid.

“Argh!” Jamie shook his head, making a face and coughing once. “Nice.”

“What were you drinking?” I nodded towards the chunky tumbler filling fast with melted ice.

“Whisky. I probably shouldna be mixing Laphroaig and Patron, but fuck it. I dinna care.”

Now both our eyes were kind of swimming and I stumbled into him as I tried to hike myself back onto the barstool.

“Easy there,” he chuckled. I straightened up, pushing away slightly. I gripped the bar top. The world was tilting crazily now. Bloody hell.

“I think that last shot was a mistake.” Now my words were blending together in strange ways.

“Aye, for me too.” His Scots accent had broadened more over the past minute.

I laid my head on the bar, not caring if my hair got dirty. I groaned, and I felt Jamie pat my back gently. “Um, thanks.” I managed to raise my head off the surface after a few minutes.

“Anytime.” He hoisted himself onto the stool next to mine. We endured silence for a bit until he grabbed a nearby salt shaker, tapping it rhythmically on the bar top. I waited.

The music suddenly changed; slow, mellow notes filled the air. I was about to make a snarky comment about the DJ’s song choice when I noticed Jamie’s hand next to me, palm up.

“Dance?” he asked softly.

“Only if you promise not to twirl me,” I found myself answering.

We made our way onto the makeshift dance area in the corner. He pulled me close, his hand at my back and the other clutched mine tightly against his chest. My left hand went on his shoulder as he led me expertly around the floor. My head threatened to drop, nestling perfectly into the center of his chest. God, he was tall. The alcohol was finally achieving its purpose, numbing me.

We swayed back and forth; I was still trying not to vomit as we danced. I found that the scent coming off Jamie’s skin was helping—something fresh like citrus, tinged with his own male musk.

“I proposed to her.” His warm breath tickled the shell of my ear.

I gripped his shoulder hard. He proposed? Jamie’s story sounded more fucked up than mine. He took my touch as a sign to continue.

“It was our 2-year anniversary. Fancy restaurant, candles, romantic shite—ye ken? Movie style.”

“What’s your ex called?” I slurred, surprised I could focus on a question.

“Annalise.” Jamie’s voice had a sneering quality as he pronounced her name with a French accent. “We’d met when I studied a semester abroad in Paris, but she actually lived here. After I’d pulled the ring from my pocket, and knelt in front of the entire restaurant—she said she didna want to hurt me, but that we should remain friends.”

“Friends. Classic. Only if being friends means you get to punch them in the mouth after a speech like that,” I laughed bitterly and he joined me.

“That was exactly a year ago—tonight. I just found out she’s dating some arsehole—something something Saint Germain. Hence, whisky.”

The song ended and Jamie looped my arm through his, and we collapsed at a table; barstools were a little complicated in our current state. I took a deep breath and reciprocated my own sob story.

“I walked in on Frank and Sandy a few months ago. In our bed. Bloody hell, we’d known each other since we were teenagers. We were living together. Was ‘I think we should see other people’ so hard to say?” I flagged a waitress, holding up two fingers.

“Och, lass, another one?” Jamie looked concerned. I was no lightweight, but I was really feeling the previous shots.

Fuck it.

“Yeah. I need it.” I sucked on a lime and upended the shot glass. I barely acknowledged the burn this time.

“That bad, eh?”

“It is.” I winced, remembering how I still hadn’t managed to take down the pictures of us. That was just bloody unhealthy.

“Oh. It’s really no’ my place, since, well… I’m completely pissed too, but… do ye drink this much every weekend, just to forget? I mean, I worry about yer liver and all.”

“No. It’s just I ran into the Frank and Sandy here tonight, who’s sporting a rock the size of a peach pit on her finger.” I swallowed hard. “And very, very pregnant.” Much too pregnant for their affair to have begun only a few months ago. She looked ready to pop.

“Och.” Jamie looked chagrined. “Aye.” He downed his own shot and gestured for more. He raised his glass in a toast like I had.

“To ye. Because at this point, I think yer story sounds worse than mine. And ye’re still standing.” We slammed a few more shots, until finally, sweet oblivion.

No more pain, no more misplaced guilt, no more what-ifs. A moment’s peace.

It could be found at the bottom of a glass.

- - -

Sunlight streamed through the pale, gauzy curtains. It felt like a fucking drill through my eyes.

“Oh God,” I mumbled, rolling over and trying to ignore the pounding like a sledgehammer between my temples.

I hit something soft and warm beside me.

My eyes flew open, light hitting me painfully. As they adjusted, I caught sight of a tousled red head peeking over the top of the covers.

Oh my God. Oh my God.

How did this happen?

#outlander #outlander fanfic #outlander au #CCL1 #claire is going to cuss a lot in this one #fake dating

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magpiemorality · 4 years

Note

So I know your fae thing is like, done, but do they ever learn each other’s names?

Oooh good question. The answer is, of course, yes!

First | Previous | AO3

***

“How long do you think we’ve been here?” Remus wondered one day. From that first step through the wall between worlds, time had quickly begun to blend into one hazy stream of bliss. They were lying on the soft grass, green in a way that Remus could never describe. It was a green that made you understand what green was really, truly supposed to be; nothing like the pale imitation in his old world. Everything was bright, richer, more here and that wasn’t just limited to the flora- Remus himself felt like he hadn’t been truly alive until his bones started to sing with the magic that hummed through the air here.

“Does it matter?” Firefly asked, the words muffled into Remus’s chest. Remus huffed and glanced down at the Fae trying to nap on his chest, humming softly as the human played with his hair. No, he supposed, it didn’t really. “Do you want to go back?” The Fae asked after a few more minutes of silence, twisting around so he could keep his cheek pressed to his human but was able to blink up at him too. Remus just curled his arm back around him, tossing an arm up behind his head and gazing at the impossibly fluffy clouds above.

Did he want to go back? “No. I don’t miss it. I only wonder, has it been a year yet? You know us mortals, we like to put labels on time. I’ve been thinking of anniversaries.”

Firefly wrinkled his nose like he’d tasted something odd. “Anniversaries? Why would you need one of those? We are forever. There’s no success in lasting a certain amount of time anymore.”

Remus chuckled, tugging on a lock of hair and yelping when Firefly tilted his head and nipped his collarbone in revenge. “Alright, no anniversaries. We are forever,” he agreed. “How about a celebration then? A pledging, to soothe my poor mother’s voice in my head. She would be so disappointed in me, living in unmarried sin, even with such a heavenly creature as you.” The more he thought about it, the more he warmed to the idea. “We could have a wedding, invite those demons you call cousins, find a token or whatever it is that takes your fancy.”

“My dear human, is this what your people take for a proposal? It’s not very impressive…”

“Why you-” Firefly shrieked with laughter when Remus rolled him over and tickled him into breathless pleas for mercy, taking full advantage of his position to duck down and taste those tempting lips. “It was merely a suggestion, and you know it, bug.”

His Fae stuck his tongue out and held him close, their positions comfortably reversed. “I would find it quite thrilling to marry you, certainly. But as for tokens,” he hesitated. “I have an idea. If you would be amenable that is, but it would certainly be of benefit to your safety and my peace of mind. A token need not be an object.”

Understanding passed between them in the meeting of gazes, and Remus sat up with him when the Fae pushed at his chest. He laid a hand over Remus’s heart, high up so his splayed fingers touched the base of his throat at the same time, bright eyes searching the human’s face. “You want my name,” Remus murmured, and Firefly slowly nodded. “And in return you would give me yours?” Another nod.

“Should you decide that’s something you want.”

“Sweetling, nothing would bring me more joy.” Firefly’s smile burned hotter than the sun overhead, blazing heat through Remus when he pressed his own to it. “Tell me,” the human murmured against his love’s lips. “Give me your name, love.” Firefly grinned wider and pressed it into Remus’s waiting mouth.

“Eavan.” Remus tasted the truth of it as it skipped over his tongue and down to wrap around his heart. He gasped at the flare of actual magic that came with the gift, opening his eyes to see Eavan looking at him with such clear fondness it made him gasp all over again. He felt like he could see him in entirely new ways, as though he’d been looking through blurred glass until that moment. “Your Eavan,” Fi- Eavan added shyly. “Who is patiently waiting for your own name, as it happens.”

“Oh, right,” Remus shook his head, but the new definition didn’t leave. “Well, much as you apparently like to believe it’s some combination of foolish human, idiot, or mortal, I tend to prefer to go by Remus.”

That same jolt of magic felt different from the other side, but he saw the way it affected Eavan, making his constant, lustrous shine flare.

And naturally all that then was left, was for Fae and human to thoroughly familiarise themselves with the taste of those names, murmuring and passing them back and forth between their kiss-swollen lips until one ran into the other and they weren’t sure whose was whose. But that no longer seemed to matter very much at all.

#writepie #demus #dukeceit #fae folk #it's pronounced #eeVAN #apparently #ts remus #ts deceit #ts writing #ts sanders sides #ts sanders sides aus #ts sanders sides fic #sanders sides #yeah I did some googling for that one #means beautiful radiance #heck yeah

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my-faves-said-gay-rights · 4 years

Text

Favourite IU Lyrics

To celebrate iu’s 12th anniversary and give her the appreciation she deserves, here are 10 of my favourite lyrics that iu has written (in no particular order):

Note: iu has so many writing credits and so many songs that are strong as a whole that I don’t think I could ever choose my favourite lines from all of them or ever actually make an ordered list of favourite to least favourite. Also keep in mind that these lyrics and songs are open to interpretation so how I describe them may be different to what you think. I’m just doing this for fun so please don’t get mad at me if I don’t include your faves, and hey maybe I’ll make a part 2 someday

1. Bad Day

“I feel someone’s body heat on the empty playground bench

Why is this warmth making me feel even colder?

I bury my face in my scrunched up shoulders

My hands that I hid in my pockets get cold”

Bad day is such a special song to me. It was with this song that I realised there was something special about iu’s writing. I just love the whole metaphor of a cold room being used to describe a bad day. She took a relatable concept and was able to create an extended metaphor out of it that somehow describes the feeling so well, a feeling that some may struggle to put into words. I have mental illnesses and we know that iu has struggled with mental illness too, so this just feels like a very personal song and that just makes it better. You know that she felt these things and poured her heart into this song.

2. Ending Scene

“As much as you were lonely

I really hope you meet someone

Who will love you more than you

I’m sorry that it wasn’t me

It’s not easy to give

Don’t say those words, please

You know those words hurt even more”

I’m usually not big into love or break up songs, but something about this just feels so unique and heartbreaking. It’s not a bitter break up where they hurt each other, the other person is wishing her the best and admitting that they’re not right for each other, but that just makes it worse because they are clearly a good person who cares for her. It’s just so well written and a new perspective and that’s something I really appreciate about iu.

3. Can’t Love You Anymore

“Where are you?

Where are you?

I’m home

I’m in a cab

Are you almost home?

Oh, I’m sorry

For what?

Just, everything

Go home

I left my wallet there

Oh, hey

Never mind

No, what is it?

I don’t think

we’re in love anymore”

How could I not include the iconic back and forth with iu and oh hyuk? This again feels like a unique break up song in that it’s so chill. There’s no big reason for it, they just simply fell out of love and are now unable to be like they were before and are just tired of being together. I think this part shows that so well because not only are the lyrics great but the delivery of them as well. It just sounds great and is fun to sing along to (or at least try to sing long).

4. Eight

“So are you happy now?

Finally happy now are you?

I’m the same

I think I’ve lost it all

Everything comes on it’s own and leaves without a goodbye

At this rate, I don’t want to love anything”

Eight aka song of the year starts off strong and stays that way throughout (thanks partly to yoongi of course). IU has lost two close friends these past couple years, and from the mv it seems clear that the song is talking about her memories with them, as well as being another song that focuses on her age and how she’s growing up. For those reasons these lyrics just really hit hard. IU is such a strong woman and I hope that she is able to create more truly happy memories.

5. Red Queen

“Children obviously but adults too

Even the things that don’t have life

Everything fell in love, fell in love with her

Her heart was that beautiful too

Even when she gazed

At the tiniest, poorest of things

Those passionless, depressing eyes

Used to sparkle so bright"

This is another song with a connection to sulli. IU said that she was inspired to write the song because of a drawing sulli did, and the lyrics seem like they are telling her story of going from being loved to hated by the public, especially as after she passed away iu changed the lyrics at her concert to pay tribute to her. This obviously makes the song more touching now, but there’s even more to appreciate. I really love the structure of the lyrics, how it’s like she’s telling a fun silly story but underneath it’s actually very dark. This is helped even more by the instrumental and vocals, which shouldn’t be surprising because we all know iu is a musical genius. Red queen is easily one of her best songs.

6. Blueming

“I’lltextyouwithoutanyspacesIthinkthisislove

A hundred roses, wanna make them bloom with me?

Let’s color the flowers however we want

So it’s beautiful even when it withers”

It was really really really hard to choose my favourite lyrics because there is so much going on in this song, every single line has something to appreciate. I love when art can take something simple and make it poetic, and that’s what iu does well. The song as a whole is about texting your crush, and she describes this as creating flowers in their chat room, blooming flowers together as their relationship also blooms. It’s simple yet effective. Again I’m not big into love songs but I can appreciate poetry when I see it and damn do I see it. And can we just take a moment to appreciate how cool that texting without spaces line is? In the mv they type out the hangul without any spaces just so we can see that she really did that, wow.

7. Greedyy

“Girls be ambitious, own more, whatever it may be

There are so many things that are such a waste to give to others

Everyone tells you the same line as if promised, be good

If you don’t wanna you don’t have to, don’t have to”

Now we love a good bit of female empowerment. This song is actually by jea and moonbyul, but iu wrote the lyrics (moonbyul wrote her own I think). I think it says a lot that iu wrote a song for another female singer and she decided to make it about ambition and taking what you want. It honestly gives me cindy from the producers vibes. This song is very underappreciated so please check it out!

8. Through The Night

“Just like letters on the sand

Where waves were

I feel you’ll disappear

To a far off place

I miss you again and miss you more”

Through the night actually had to take some time to grow on me, but now it is one of my favourite iu songs ever. I don’t know why but this song often makes me cry, it’s just so full of love and admiration for whoever it’s about and iu’s vocals help put so much emotion into it. I think I cry because I make up scenarios in my head that make it more personal and hurt more, and I think you can do that with a lot of iu’s songs which really helps the listeners experience. I think with the palette album iu really hit something with her writing, it’s so full of emotion and poetic techniques. I’m so happy palette won album of the year and this song won song of the year because they both really deserve it.

9. BBIBBI

“Yellow C A R D

If you cross this line, it’s a violation, beep

Keeping manners stop here, it’s ma ma ma mine

Please keep the la la la line

Hello stuP I D

If you cross that line, I’ll get serious, beep

Stop it, keep the distance

Cause we don’t know know know know

Comma we don’t owe owe owe owe (anything)”

An iconic song. Bbibbi is a song telling the public to stop giving hate to celebrities and to stop invading their privacy, but in true iu fashion she keeps it upbeat and strangely polite. This got iu a lot of attention and I think that proves how good she is at writing. She did something new and empowering while still keeping in line with her image, and people really responded to this. This was another song where it was very hard for me to choose the lyrics. I went with the chorus but I also really love the pre chorus where she is repeating negative comments she receives, I just think that’s really cool.

10. Leon

“My heart used to be quietly asleep

But why did you throw a stone,

making me wanna dance?

Please hide my shaking eyes,

my black sunglasses”

Now maybe it’s just because films are my biggest passion in the world, but I really love this song. This part is sung by park myung-soo (iu still wrote all the lyrics) and is meant to be from leon’s perspective. I really like how iu took full advantage of this song being a boy girl duet because it allowed her to write from both perspectives and have fun with it. Something about it actually reminds me of red queen and I just really enjoy the vibe. I’ve noticed that korean people seem to really like leon the professional and I find that interesting, especially as it’s about the relationship between a 12 year old girl and a grown professional assassin man, but that’s a conversation for another day. As it is, this is a great song that was very successful in korea, and queen iu deserves all the success and praise.

If you somehow read all this, thank you so much and please stream eight!

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poniesandcupcakes · 4 years

Text

Started alone, ending alone it seems. Memento Mori everyone. Unus. Annus.

I wanna thank you guys so much for everything, I don't know if you'd actually see this or the short goodbye tweet I plan to send out too,

But I was in a really horrible hole a month before unus annus. I lost my best friend after we both seemed to have such a sudden impulse to tell eachother how much it'd hurt to lose the other the exact day she was hospitalized. Barely hours before. I'm genuinely just crying because, in the beginning, I had such a panicked attachment like as if Unus Annus was the final thing I had left to stay sane and happy and to stop thinking about losing someone who was my best friend only four years short of my entire life (we were both freshly 18 when she died.)

I got this tattoo because of my loss and because of you guys, I have a poor memory and it hurt just the thought of forgetting even something as simple as our nicknames or her handwriting that used to be all over everything of mine. You guys are seriously so fucking awesome, on my other platforms aside from this I did back and forth posts of daily unus annus updates on my life and planned to delete it all like the channel, but fell hard on the impending dread of her anniversary, even months prior on my own birthday. I got separated from friends for close to half a year due to a virus, my other two best friends either moved away or seemed to care more about their relationship than me and their family, my dad works in another timezone and missed copious opportunities to visit during a year long separation from me, my mom and brother, and may even have to come as late as just before Christmas when he could've been home in a day.

I've wanted to say it and know you guys know, I love you guys and I love what you've done and I'm so so fucking thankful you did this, I was ready to go into a shell of being an even bigger introvert than I already am after losing the person I grew with to be comfortable out of my usual zone. I used to make comedy videos, write, make sketches, and be so creative before last October, and I think I would have definitely let you down not going after those goals and ignoring the potential I could have had, if not for your videos. You guys inspired me more than I thought you had.

I did break several times at the different times you guys spoke about the other dying, I could never wish that on anyone. My boyfriend and I both lost our best, closest friends in the span of two years and it ripped us apart. You guys seriously did so fucking much without realizing, and whether you see this or not I want you to know that. I havent sobbed yet but I'm definitely choking down Canada dry at the moment just to stop from waking up my family and startling my friend next to me, but I definitely will be crying before I get to sleep after the stream. The way you spoke about Amy when she laid down in the coffin is so beautiful, its how I felt about Jess. She was the reason for my everything, and we worked together on everything. We had scripts, and plans, and character designs for a series four years+ in the making, and I one day hope to finally bring it to life and give new life to her in that way through her ideas and creativity that held no bounds. I never met anyone as creative as her, not even my boyfriend who's someone I think can't be beat in that sense as well, but not in the same sense of her.

Unus Annus wasn't just a video series, it was like it came out perfectly to keep me sane and help me carry on and understand how to cope and how to live with her memories alone. Its a coincidence, that just.

It just helped me find so much strength and keep me up and working and staying around, I'd never dream of taking ill care of myself but I also have so many days I just don't do what I need to do because I can't see a reason, whether its appetite, taking care of my physical health, cleaning my room, or even just washing my face or brushing my hair. Its just stuff that should be such an instinctual or subconscious action, is so hard it physically hurts to do it more than to just move along and keep moving without it. I was so unhealthy, and still am despite working on it, losing things is hard. But having the memories is both harder and so much easier, than having nothing at all. I wish I could say "reset the clock" and be part of that group just to pretend I can't let go, but oddly?

I'm glad to see it go. The progress I've felt just telling people its all what "needs to be done" since the beginning, I never saw till recently how good it was to just let go. And it's because it came after such a loss, and such an odd and eery coincidence, even coinciding a month after her death and, obviously, the year anniversary of her death. I was just able to let go, because how could I ever come to terms with something like that kind of loss if I couldn't be comfortable with videos being deleted?

A reset can bring videos back, yes. Just begin the clock again, easy as pie, go on ahead archivers-

But there's no clock that could EVER be reset for her. Her clock can't just begin again, I can't just call her or send her a message and suddenly she'd be back, so why should I say Memento Mori has to be Numquam Subsisto instead? Never stop is not realistic. Death is an unavoidable occurrence, loss is a building block, remembering life can only exist if death does, and vice versa.

Memento Huius Anni, Memento Vitae;

Memento Mori.

Thank you, Mark, Ethan, Amy, Evan, everyone. For making this past year better. Even if it was the same prompt my own mind had held all year after October 2019, whether Unus Annus existed or not to put it there like an earworm; Remembering Death held a different meaning despite the same thoughts. A different feeling. It held excitement and calm, rather than my pain and sadness. You guys are amazing, I can't say it enough. And one day I do hope to say it to you all in person, even if it's years from now (as it most likely would be, I'm not very popular on YouTube for a collab in the slightest, and I don't have to money to go to any big events you may go to).

I could say more, but I don't want to say anything else sad, goodbye or not. You guys gave such amazing support to me, even if its hard to believe at all, or you think this is fake and just an attention scheme, you guys are just the best. You're amazing people I hope to meet one day, and I'm glad to have watched and experienced this and got the support from you all.

I love you guys, all of you. Memento Mori. Unus Annus.

#unusannusisoverparty #unus annus #unusannus #unus annus is over party #we were here #MementoMori #memento mori

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out-of-jams · 4 years

Text

Airplane Mode | Track 07: 21st Century Girl | jhs

Summary: Inspired by Love at First Touch by bagelswrites

In a world where a bruise marks the first touch of your soulmate, time is the only thing that matters. The marks take hours to appear, sometimes even days if you're really unlucky. Once First Touch is initiated, both parties only have a few weeks to find the other. From then on, the body begins to reject any form of sustenance other than the touch of the other. If one fails to find their soulmate in time, they starve to death.

So what happens when your soulmate is a world famous idol?

And you're just one fan in a sea of many who can't even speak the same language?

Pairing: Hoseok/ FemOC

Word Count: 5.1k

Genre: Fluff. Angst. Idol!au. Smut. Soulmate!au. Explicit language.

Warnings: Explicit language. Anxiety. Somewhat brief depiction of a panic attack.

Words written in bold are spoken in Korean.

Previous | Next | Track List | Masterlist |

“It’s cold as hell.” Eunjae’s mumbled complaint passed through the black face mask pulled over her mouth and dissipated into the winter air.

With teeth chattering, she quickened her pace to keep up with the older woman next to her. Eunjae’s over the knee black boots clicked against the sidewalk and she took a moment to be grateful that they were only three inch stiletto heels. Even with the sleeves of the thick, red Supreme hoodie that she’d borrowed from Hoseok’s closet that morning covering her hands, she was still freezing.

There wasn’t much that she could have used from his wardrobe without looking like she was playing dress-up, so Eunjae did what she could. A small, cute black belted fanny purse that she’d designed months ago was hooked around her slim waist. With her silver hair loose down her back and tiny rings through her cartilage piercings, Eunjae was pulling off a very Ariana Grande-esque look.

She’d been lucky that while her clothes were nowhere to be seen, most of her shoes and accessories had been shipped out to Seoul early. So after digging through two boxes worth of various shoes, she’d found her favorite pair of boots. Even though Eunjae wasn’t necessarily self conscious of her short height, her footwear collection might say otherwise. Almost every pair she owned were either platformed or heeled. Though she did own the occasional regular pair of running shoes.

“Let’s go in here.” Eunjae barely got a warning from the woman walking beside her before she cut to the right and almost left Eunjae in the dust.

At eleven am on the dot that morning, the doorbell to Eunjae’s apartment rang, effectively scaring the hell out of her. She’d been in the bathroom inspecting herself in the foggy mirror, the steamy air from her recent shower billowing out into the hallway.

The sound had startled her so much that Eunjae’s hand jolted from where she’d been drawing on winged eyeliner. The brush jerked, leaving a huge black streak down her cheek, which she scrubbed at viciously as she stumbled to the door. Luckily, the bruises had faded completely from her skin due to the impromptu cuddling session in the car with Hoseok on the way back from the airport.

Unlike earlier that morning, there was only one ring of the doorbell as the person on the other side waited patiently. With sudden nerves invading her senses, Eunjae hastily ran a hand down the hoodie she converted into a dress. The hem fell a little lower than mid-thigh and she was grateful that her boots were tall enough to help prevent her from accidentally flashing someone.

Eunjae took a moment to take a deep breath before pulling open the front door. She wasn’t normally so nervous about meeting new people. In fact, she was actually pretty outgoing. But something about the whole situation just made her a bundle of nerves that she tried to hide behind the bright smile she pasted onto her face.

Standing on the other side of the door was a woman who looked to be in her mid-thirties. Though it was hard to tell for sure. The woman’s wavy black hair was cut into a fashionable bob that did well to accentuate her elf-like face. She was dressed business casual, with a white blouse underneath a black blazer, french tucked into a pair of jeans. The woman had on a pair of short white heels with a cross body purse hanging from her shoulders.

She gave Eunjae a polite bow of the head and extended her hand with a smile on her red painted lips. “Hello, Morales Eunjae-ssi. My name is Park Soyeon and I’m here to show you around Seoul.”

Soyeon’s soft, accented voice soothed Eunjae’s nerves and she reached out to take her offered hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“You as well.” Soyeon brushed her hand through her short hair, the gold watch on her wrist glinting under the lights. “I work as an English interpreter for the company, so I’ve also been appointed to tutor you in Korean, if that is something that you’re interested in.”

With a hand still swiping the excess eyeliner gel from her face, Eunjae stepped to the side and waved the woman in politely. “Absolutely. Yes. Come in and please ignore the mess that is my face.”

Now, almost two hours later and a healthy amount of shopping to break the ice, Soyeon’s personality was beginning to emerge. The woman was professional, that was a given, but the more time the pair spent together, the more Eunjae discovered that the woman’s initial innocent appearance was far from true. Her energy was enough to rival Hoseok and despite being in her mid thirties, she gave off a very spirited vibe. And the woman loved to shop.

Eunjae found that out the hard way when she had to physically hold Soyeon back from dragging her into all the high end stores in Gangnam. While yes, Big Hit was paying to supply Eunjae with enough clothes and necessities to last until the rest of her belongings arrived in Seoul, she didn’t feel comfortable racking up a huge bill. Soyeon had pouted all the way to the less expensive, less high end designer stores. But she’d perked right back up at the cute displays in the windows. Apparently, Soyeon’s girlfriend was huge into fashion, which only served to prompt the woman into even more of a shopping fiend than normal, since their anniversary was fast approaching.

Sitting across from Soyeon at a corner table inside a cozy cafe, Eunjae sipped idly at the sweating glass of water in front of her. With one hand fingering the sleeve of her too big hoodie, the other tapped across the screen of her brand new iphone. That had been something that Eunjae decidedly couldn’t pass up on, since she needed it to communicate and all.

Soyeon had nearly run her down in the Apple store when Eunjae tried to pay for it herself. While she didn’t have a job, she still kept up a somewhat steady flow of income into her bank account. Sometimes Miles would invite her to costar in some of his YouTube videos (or she’d just invite herself over since she practically lived there anyway) and since he made so much revenue, he would split the profits with her. Despite explaining this to the interpreter who snatched her wallet, the woman refused to acquiesce. So Eunjae reluctantly let Soyeon swipe the black company credit card to purchase it.

The first app that Soyeon had insisted she download was something that everyone in South Korea had. The air in Seoul wasn’t always clean enough for the human body to inhale, so the app forecasted when and when not a face mask was needed in order to step outside. Hence the face mask currently pulled down below Eunjae’s chin.

“So I think after this, we head back to the company. Sound good?” Soyeon’s voice came out muffled as she chewed on the end of her straw. The iced latte in her plastic cup was almost completely drained with more ice than coffee left.

“Sure.” Eunjae closed out of the most recent text thread with Miles and set her phone on the table. “If you want.”

Soyeon paused in her vicious chugging to eye Eunjae over the rim of her coffee. The woman’s eyes were narrowed in thought and she pursed her lips as she stirred the remainder of her drink. “You nervous to meet the boys?”

Eunjae huffed a laugh and dropped her gaze to her cup, using the tips of her pointer fingers to push it back and forth across the table. “I’m just surprised you’re done shopping is all. You were like a tornado of fabric and credit cards back there. I thought they’d have to call in a SWAT team to stop you.”

“Uh huh.” Soyeon leaned forward on the table and placed her chin on her fists, lipstick stained straw pressed between her lips. “You have nothing to worry about. The boys will be nothing if not respectful.”

She reached out a hand to stop Eunjae’s fidgeting ones, pausing long enough for Eunjae to look up. “Besides, you barely speak Korean and not all of them completely understand English. What could possibly go wrong?”

With a playful roll of her eyes, Eunjae snorted in amusement and fell back against her chair. “That’s like, exactly what someone says right before shit hits the fan.”

“Whelp.” Soyeon shrugged, taking one last noisy pull of her drink. “What’s that weird English phrase you showed me earlier?”

Eunjae simply raised a brow in response, lips pursed in mirth.

Soyeon giggled before standing from her chair with a wink. “‘Ain’t nothing to it, but to do it.’”

“I regret showing you that video so much right now.” Eunjae groaned but followed the older woman’s lead, standing and shoving her phone into the purse around her waist.

The ride to BigHit Entertainment was spent with Eunjae anxiously playing with the sleeves hanging over her hands. Numerous bags stuffed with more clothes than she needed spread across the backseat in a multicolor rainbow of plastic. A radio station streaming Seoul’s most current popular music blasted from the car speakers. Soyeon had turned the volume up to an obnoxious level, her fingers drumming on the steering wheel along with the beat.

Eunjae sank down further in her seat, causing the top of the hoodie to bunch up closer to her nose. The faded scent of, well, Hoseokstuck to the fabric and she had to stop herself from burrowing into it. She felt strangely comforted by the smell in a way that she didn’t understand. Maybe it was just a soulmate thing? Or perhaps it was because he was the closest person that she knew in the whole country? Who knew. Which was a little sad in and of itself since she barely even knew the guy.

The closer she got to the company, the more her nerves came out to play. Eunjae tried to push the thoughts--the reality--of the situation to the far recesses of her mind for as long as possible. But now she was less than two miles away from coming face to face with the boy group that she’d been fangirling over for a while now. Not only that, but she would have to put all of her nerves, her doubts, her starstruck anticipation aside because her soulmate was J-Fucking-Hope.

What if the members of Bangtan hated her? What if, for some reason, they couldn’t get along? Where would that leave her with Hoseok? Would he grow to dislike her too? Eunjae didn’t want to imagine being rejected by the one person in the world that the universe decided to pair her with. She didn’t know if she could handle that.

Over and over, the thoughts played in a continuous loop in her head until she’d worked herself up into an anxious mess. With her bottom lip caught between her lips, Eunjae fiddled with the golden crescent moon shaped earrings in her lobes. She clenched her eyes shut and turned her focus back outward, grasping onto the closest thing to keep her grounded.

Some song from Red Velvet was blasting from the speakers and Eunjae let the lyrics flush the dangerous thoughts from her mind. She had a habit of doing that sometimes: working herself up with situations that always turned out to be way less of a problem than she’d feared. And Eunjae didn’t want to turn into panicking mess before she even stepped foot out of the car.

Just as she got her anxiety under control, Soyeon whipped the compact SUV up to a gated parking lot. The woman barely had to slow to a stop and flash her employee badge before the security guard at the gate let her in. The car maneuvered around the various filled spaced until Soyeon finally pulled into an empty spot. As she cut the transmission, Eunjae took one last steeling breath.

“Come on, kid.” The woman patted her shoulder comfortingly before she opened her door and slipped out.

The cold air from outside shocked Eunjae back to her senses and she scrambled out to follow. The stiletto heels of her boots clacked against the concrete parking lot as she followed Soyeon inside the building. For once, Eunjae was thankful for the cold because it forced her to pick up the pace to prevent herself from freezing to death.

Instead of taking the front entrance of the building, the parking lot led to a back entrance for what appeared to be employees only. Soyeon bounced on the toes of her shoes as she quickly slid her laminated employee card through the scanner at the side of the door. With a beep, it flashed green and the woman rushed to pull the door open. She barely gave Eunjae two seconds to scramble in after her to avoid being locked out.

White marble floors and beige painted walls greeted the pair as they slipped inside. Eunjae had been expecting some kind of grand, showy interior. There were absolutely zero pictures of the inside of the BigHit Entertainment building online, which left ARMY to speculate what it was actually like inside. What she hadn’t been prepared for however, was how normal it looked.

Where they entered looked like any normal office building. They were in a wide, open hallway with a bright green exit sign glowing above the door they’d entered. To the right was another door that led to a stairway that Eunjae presumed went all the way up to the top floor. The rest of the hallway was empty of life: no doors, no employees, nothing. Just a security camera perched on the ceiling with a red light slowly blinking in and out of existence.

Soyeon turned to Eunjae with a sigh of relief, most likely from having just escaped the biting cold. The puse dangling from her shoulder swung with the moment and Eunjae had to shuffle out of the way to avoid being hit. “Well, this is where we part ways. I have a lot of work I need to catch up on.”

Eunjae blinked in both shock and confusion, stuffing her facemask into the purse around her waist. “Wait, you’re just going to leave me here?”

A short laugh left Soyeon’s red painted lips, the sound bouncing off the walls. “Not--”

Before the woman could finish her sentence, the metal door to the staircase swung wide open. It hit the wall with a thud as whoever pushed it put too much force against it. A sheepish looking Hoseok poked his head out from the doorway and he checked to make sure he didn’t put a dent in the wall.

“--exactly.” Soyeon finished her statement with a smirk of amusement. Tilting her head to the side, she raised an eyebrow at the rapper. A string of rapid Korean left her lips and if her teasing tone was anything to go by, Eunjae could take a guess at what she was saying.

Hoseok’s eyes scrunched as he let out a loud laugh; a shrug lifting his slim shoulders. “Whoops?”

The words had barely left his mouth before his attention turned to Eunjae. Quicker than she could process, he scanned her from head to toe. His expression morphed into something unreadable, eyes darkening in the fluorescent light. But before she could try to discern it, his eyes flashed back to hers with a dimpled smile, hair pushed back from his forehead like he’d ran his hand through it repetitively.

“How was shopping? Good?” The question left Hoseok’s mouth carefully, like was was trying to make sure that he was translating the correct words.

As with every other time Eunjae found herself around the man, the corners of her lips pulled up into a smile. She was the type of person where the energy of others directly affected her own. While he wasn’t as goofy and loud as he was on camera in person, the man’s friendly disposition rolled off him in waves so strong she could almost feel it on her skin.

“Yeah. Very good.” Eunjae shoved her still cold hands into the pouch of her borrowed hoodie.

“Aw, my little protégé!” Soyeon’s icy cold fingers pinched one of Eunjae’s cheeks playfully, earning an annoyed nose scrunch. “You’ll be fluent in Korean before you know it.”

Soyeon, much to Eunjae’s benefit (or horror), had been throwing random Korean words and phrases at her all day. After making her repeat them a few dozen times, the woman would give her random pop quizzes at the most inopportune times. And if that wasn’t enough, Soyeon had the habit of sometimes abandoning Eunjae at a store counter to fend for herself (“Immersion is the best learning tool, kid.”). All-in-all, the woman’s teaching methods were completely abnormal, but Eunjae couldn’t say they weren’t a little effective.

“Yah.” Eunjae waved the Soyeon’s hand off with a pout. “You’re such a bully. I didn’t sign up for this.”

“Sucks to suck, kid. Anyway,” Soyeon put a hand between Eunjae’s shoulder blades and pushed her towards an amused looking Hoseok. “Go hang out until the boss man sends someone to come get you two. Shouldn’t be too long, but also, who knows with how long business meetings usually last?”

The woman left no time for anyone to reply before she turned on her heel and strutted down the hallway. Pointing a finger at Eunjae from over her shoulder she added, “I’ll have someone drop those clothes off later today. And I’ll meet with you sometime either tomorrow or the day after. Seeya!”

All Eunjae could do was stare as Soyeon disappeared around the corner. She’d evaporated just as quickly as she’d appeared.

The sound of Hoseok clearing his throat brought her attention back to him and even with the added height of her boots, she had to tilt her head back to meet his eyes. He nodded his head back towards the door to the staircase.

“After you.”

Murmuring her thanks, Eunjae stepped past him into the stairwell. It was just as empty as the hallway and the drab colored steps seemed almost endless, twisting up and out of sight. Turning back to Hoseok as he followed behind her, Eunjae raised a brow, half curious and half anxious. “Where to?”

“Studio. Everyone..,” Hoseok flashed her a reassuring smile, hands gesturing with his words. “Excited to meet you.”

Well if that didn’t send a jolt of nervous anticipation down Eunjae’s spine, she didn’t know what would. She wasn’t sure if she should be thankful that the rest of the members were excited to meet her or if she should feel more pressured to make a good first impression. With her finger pointed to herself, she squeaked, “me?”

Hoseok’s contagious laugh forced the tight muscles in her shoulders to relax a tad. He opened his mouth to respond, but before any words could make their way out, a loud rumble sounded from his stomach. His eyes widened and he looked down at his body as if he’d been betrayed.

“Hungry?” Eunjae stifled a giggle behind a sweater paw. It reminded her, however, that she had yet to eat for the day. The dread that had been weighing down her stomach all day had effectively chased away her appetite. Now though, it mingled with a twinge of hunger.

“A little.” Hoseok smiled sheepishly with a hand resting on his stomach like that would stop the sound from escaping again.

“Have you eaten?”

His tongue darted out to wet his lips and Eunjae’s brows pinched in concern at the grimace on his face. Hoseok’s shoulders lifted a little in a shrug. “Tried.”

“But?” She urged.

“I..,” Hoseok’s nose scrunched as if the memory he was reliving was unpleasant. His head tilted to the side slightly, eyes raising like the words he was searching for were etched into the bottom of the staircase above them. “Got sick.”

Eunjae’s eyes widened at what he was saying. She quickly did the mental math in her head, counting the weeks since they’d initiated First Touch. The timeline just about matched up to the normal statistic of when food would become totally obsolete to the body. Since she hadn’t eaten anything that day she didn’t know if her body would react the same.

And she didn’t really want to test that theory.

Slipping a hand out of her hoodie pouch, Eunjae extended it out towards Hoseok. The movement pulled his gaze down to her outstretched hand and she wiggled her fingers with a small laugh at his questioning eyes. “I’d be a bad soulmate if I let you starve.”

His slender fingers intertwined with hers slowly, almost completely wrapping around her smaller hand. Any remaining tension in her body dissipated at the electric current that burst through her veins with the feeling of safety, warmth, home. With a flash of his dimples, Hoseok gave her hand a quick squeeze of thanks and turned to the stairs.

“This way.”

As they ascended the steps, Eunjae couldn’t help but silently thank the fact that the touch of a soulmate also took away the feeling of pain. While she was used to walking around in heels, the toes of her shoes were starting to pinch her feet and it would only be a matter of time before she had to change her confident strut into an awkward shuffle.

Hoseok pushed the metal door open once they reached the third floor and Eunjae followed him out into the hallway. The heels of her boots sunk into the soft carpet and she sent him a questioning look when his hand slipped from hers.

He simply nodded his head at the doors lining the length of the long hallway. Words embedded in the frosted glass doors read out the names of some of BigHit’s main producers. Hoseok threw a wink over his shoulder and held a finger to his lips. “Shhh.”

Eunjae just hummed in understanding. From what Sejin had said weeks ago at their initial meeting, the nature of her and Hoseok’s soulbond had to be kept on the downlow. She just wasn’t sure who was or was not informed. Did anyone outside of Bangtan and their management get to know? With the way Hoseok didn’t touch her as they walked down the hallway, Eunjae hazarded a guess that none of the producers knew.

The hallway was quiet except for the occasional sound of drums or piano keys drifting from the closed studio doors. Eunjae couldn’t help her inner fangirl from internally screaming. Where she was walking, Producer’s Row, was where all of Bangtan’s songs were made. Just a few feet away from her could be the key to their next big hit.

Lost in thought, Eunjae almost ran into Hoseok’s back as he stopped in front of one of the frosted glass doors. His lips quirked up in amusement and she had no warning whatsoever before he twisted down the handle. All she could catch were the letters spelling out MonStudio.

As soon as it opened, music poured from the room and spilled out into the quiet hallway. Eunjae couldn’t see anything past Hoseok’s tall frame and she took that moment to gather herself. That was it. The moment that she’d been preparing for all day. She was about to meet the members of one of the most famous boy groups in the world.

She didn’t get much time to prepare before Hoseok’s hand slid back into hers and he lead her into the room. Whether he was grabbing her hand to soothe the nerves wafting off her in waves, or to sate his hunger, Eunjae wasn’t sure. But she didn’t give it much thought because there was only so much her overwhelmed brain could process at once.

MonStudio, Kim Namjoon’s studio, wasn’t very spacious. The walls on either side of his desk were taken up by glass shelves displaying numerous amounts of bears and trinkets gifted from fans. There was a leather couch pressed up against the wall closest to the door and a small coffee table in front of it. The knee high table was littered with paper, some balled up haphazardly and others with words and sentences scratched out in black ink.

Taking up a seat on the couch hunched over a notebook furiously scribbling was one of Korea’s most famous rappers. With his blond hair pushed back by a thick headband, Min Yoongi paused in his writing to look up at the sound of their entrance. The end of the pen in his hand tapped a staccato rhythm against his pale cheek like he couldn’t contain the words it itched to spill.

The rolling chair that had been facing the desk across the room spun around as well. Eunjae was grateful for Hoseok’s hand in hers keeping her grounded against the starstruck feeling creeping up her throat. Kim Namjoon, in all his dimpled, long-legged glory greeted them with a smile.

His pressed a button on the computer keyboard behind him that caused the music spilling from the giant speakers on his desk to cut off. Namjoon’s hair glittered a dark grey underneath the lights of his studio. The baggy green sweater and beige cargo shorts he wore almost blended into the beige painted walls. It was just those two waiting in the room and Eunjae felt her fear dwindle a little at the fact that she wouldn’t meet all six members at once.

“She’s here?” Tilting his head, Namjoon tried to peer around Hoseok, who almost instantly moved out of the way.

Eunjae suddenly felt like she was on display. At the corner of her vision she could see Yoongi’s eyes flicker down to where Hoseok’s hand was wrapped around hers. An uncharacteristically shy smile tilted at her lips and she wiggled the fingers of her free hand in a wave. “I’m here. Hi.”

Hoseok gently pulled her farther into the room and motioned back and forth between her and the two other men in the room. “Eunjae, Namjoon-ah. Yoongi-yah, Eunjae.”

The use of the informal nickname didn’t seem to bother Yoongi as both him and Namjoon dipped their heads in a respectful bow. Both men spoke their greetings at the same time, Yoongi’s deeper voice blending in with Namjoon’s.

“It’s nice to finally put a face to the name.” Namjoon’s English was perfect and Eunjae couldn’t help but feel a little relieved at the fact that he could translate between the four of them. Gesturing towards the couch that the eldest rapper was perched on, he smiled. “Please, have a seat. Get comfortable.”

Yoongi gathered the notebook in his hands and the stray pieces of paper scattered around him and shifted to sit on the floor at the other side of the coffee table. Eunjae’s eyes widened. “Wait! You don’t have t--”

“Too late!” Hoseok released her hand only to grab onto her shoulders and guide her to the now empty couch. She didn’t have time to argue as he dropped onto a cushion and pulled her down next to him.

Instead of taking her hand again, Hoseok simply threw an arm over her shoulders. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and she smiled in answer to his silent question. While he acted casual about the skinship between them, Hoseok repeatedly made sure that she was comfortable with it.

“So,” the sound of Namjoon’s voice brought her attention back to the other two in the room. Thankfully, neither of them made a comment about the fact that she was pressed into their best friend’s side. “How are you settling in?”

“I don’t think it’s fully hit me yet, to be honest.” Eunjae huffed a laugh, sinking further back into the comfortable couch. It was no wonder that the rappers would sometimes sleep in their studios if all of their couches were so plush.

“That’s understandable.” Namjoon’s golden cheeks dimpled. “It’s a pretty big change.”

“That’s one way to describe it.”

Namjoon snorted in amusement and crossed one of his legs over the other, the chair beneath him rolling back a little at the movement. “Well if you ever need anything, you can come to any of us. We’ll try to help you the best we can.”

Eunjae could feel Hoseok’s warm stare burning into the side of her face as she gave her thanks to the grey haired man. Yoongi simply sat cross-legged on the floor, attention wavering between the conversation going on around him and the open notebook on the coffee table. The words begging to be etched onto the page conflicted with his desire to participate. That and the fact that the blonde wasn’t entirely comfortable speaking in English.

Hoseok spoke to Namjoon, the end up his sentence lilting like a question.

“Hobi-yah wants to know how old you are.” Namjoon translated for the rapper at her side.

Blinking at the question, Eunjae almost smacked her forehead at the realization. Korean manners were based a lot around how old somebody was, with more respect going towards those who were your senior. And she couldn’t recall ever telling Hoseok her age, so she wasn’t offended at all by the question. “I’m twenty-three.”

Hoseok made a noise in the back of his throat that sounded halfway between teasing and something else that she couldn’t decipher. He tapped a finger against his chest and hummed, “older.”

“I know.” Eunjae’s answer pulled a smile from his lips.

“Speaking of,” Namjoon rested a cheek against one of his hands, his forearms propped up on the chair’s armrest. Whatever he was about to say got cut short as the door the MonStudio echoed in a knock. All attention turned towards the figure on the other side of the frosted glass. “Come in.”

The door swung open to reveal Sejin in all his exhausted glory. The man sent an apologetic smile at the occupants in the room, finger pushing up the falling frame of his glasses. “Sorry to interrupt, but Bang PD-nim is ready to see these two.”

Whatever slight comfort that Eunjae felt within the confines of the cozy studio was wiped away almost instantly. The anxiety that had turned to a gentle simmer cranked itself all the way up, threatening to bubble over. She held it in though, pushed it down until it hid behind the small upwards tilt of her lips. Hoseok moving his arm from around her shoulders had her bracing herself for the inevitable.

She followed him as he stood from the couch, and with a few quick parting words to the other two men in the room, Eunjae trailed after Hoseok’s fleeting back.

Time to put on your big girl panties, bitch.

#bts #bts fic #bts fic rec #hoseok #hoseok fic #hoseok fanfic

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candychronicles · 4 years

Note

A request for a supreme BNHA matchup please! I’m a straight female doctor, 5’1”, short wavy brunette hair with blue eyes, my style is mostly athletic wear or very feminine. I love reading and I go to the gym 6 days a week. Love to cook. I’m sweet and shy when you first meet me but an absolute crackhead when you get to know me and I’m comfortable around you. I make my own wine. I game when I can and I obviously love anime. I love painting and singing (I’ve won a few competitions for it!)

I match you with Iida Tenya!

It was so endearing to him how cute and shy you were when you two first met

He was absolutely enamored with your sweet and shy smile

Things only got better when he realized how smart you were

That’s how you two became friends: engaging in so many different conversations

Lots of book sharing and discussions

He loved to hear how you were doing at work and helping you with stress

You two often went to the gym together, sometimes talking and laughing, sometimes just pushing through to relieve stress

Early morning runs became a staple for you two

He was so shocked once you started letting loose and getting comfortable around him

It really helped him to get out of his own shell and become more weird in his own way

When he first asked you out, he was a stuttering mess

He was dumbfounded when he picked you up that evening

You looked so stunning, it literally swept him off his feet

Was even more shocked when you asked him on the second date

Wanted to ask you to marry him right then and there when you cooked for him and realized what an amazing cook you were

You taught him how to make wine

He could not be more fascinated with you and asked you to officially become his girlfriend that night

Supports you in absolutely every hobby of yours

Always asks you to sing to him when he’s feeling stressed or extra cuddly (which is, surprisingly, a lot)

Tries to be more creative and paints with you

Is really, really good at abstract painting (swirling colors together, creating random shapes, etc)

Have had more than one paint fight, smearing streaks of blue and silver on each others noses

Also had your fair share of kitchen fights

Tenya really relaxes around you, his friends even mention how much more loose and laid back he becomes because of you

You two really compliment each other well

From having deep and meaningful conversations, working out in the gym and keeping each other accountable, cooking good meals together, being artistic with painting and singing, you two do it all together

Truly a match made in heaven !! i know i ship it

soft music can be heard streaming through the house. it was pretty, calming, pleasant, filling the air with the feeling of relaxing happiness. Iida was snuggled in a blanket on the couch by the fireplace reading a book, the TV on but on mute, a bad habit he picked up from staying up late with nothing to do. you were in the kitchen, a white apron on with the words “kiss the chef” printed on the front in big, red letters. he had gotten it for you one anniversary, simply so he could steal kisses as you cooked, you replying by flicking whatever was on the spatula in his direction.

his ears caught the sweet sound of your voice singing along, not a care in the world as you stirred your newest concoction in the pot. you put the spoon down, wiping your hands out of habit on your apron, continuing to hum and sing along, when a strong, warm pair of arms wrapped around your shoulders. Iida’s whole body seemed to engulf your small frame. soft kisses were peppered on your head, your face, your arms, anywhere he could get his lips on you.

once upon a time, you, nor anyone else, would’ve thought that this was possible. Iida was a man of many things, but being so fragile and relaxed was not usually his style. when he met you, however, things changed, for the better.

it was during a mission that had gone slightly wrong. Iida ended up injured and in the hospital. he had, of course, insisted he was fine and that he did not need to go to the hospital, but with his leg bloody and torn, there was no sense in arguing.

you were his doctor through his recovery. though it was a rather short one, just one simple week, Iida knew his life would forever be changed. he was not one to break taboo rules, but he also knew he couldn’t let you out of his life, becoming so close in that week, cracking jokes, having interesting conversations, sharing feelings and ideas that he never would’ve told anyone else so willingly.

so, he waited a few weeks, waited until he was back on his feet, and then asked to hangout. nothing too stressful, right? he just wanted to be friends, or at least, that’s what he convinced himself.

it started off with a two man book club. in both of your free times (which was few and far between, much to his dismay) you talked about your latest reads, engaging in plot theories and feelings. as you became more comfortable, your sweet and shy personality evolved into one of energy and craziness. this both surprised and made Iida happy and he knew he could no longer deny his feelings.

once he realized you liked going for runs before work, he offered to join you, claiming it to be training for his job, though you both secretly knew better. you often challenged him to races, which, at first, he took seriously, until he realized what an absolute dummy he was being. he faked a leg cramped one day, allowing you to win, and the smile on your face was worth much more than winning any race to him.

on one particularly sunny day, after you actually beat him without him using his quirk, you turned around and slung your arms around his body, pulling him down into a hug. he was stiff for a few minutes, but when you noticed and tried to pull away, he engulfed you in his body, smiling as brightly as the sun that morning.

he asked right then and there if you’d go on a date with him, face lit with a rosy blush, stuttering through the words. you said yes without a second thought, so happy and elated.

Iida actually almost fainted when he went to pick you up that day. you had thought you weren’t wearing anything too fancy but for him, you were absolutely breathtaking and he couldn’t believe he was so lucky.

the date went off without a hitch, you two talking and laughing as you always did, enjoying a good dinner and a walk through the park where you two usually ran. simple and perfect, just like him. you had felt so confident you asked him on the second date, inviting him to your house to cook.

the second date went even better than the first. Iida vowed from that second date that he would one day marry you. and he did, though it would take some time from that fateful second date before you two would officially tie the knot.

you were snapped back from your reminiscing stupor by the gentle kisses of your husband, the silver band on his left hand reminding you of your love and promises to one another.

he removed himself from bear hugging your body, choosing to instead grab your hands and twirl you around the kitchen, dancing softly to the music that was playing, you singing again, smiling up at him with pure, unadulterated admiration.

when the song was finished, he gently picked you up and placed you on the counter, now eye level with him.

“you know, you’re just a big softie,” you joked, scrunching your nose up at him and smiling once more.

“yeah, yeah, only for you,” he replied, reaching forward to catch your lips in a passionate kiss.

you had nearly forgotten about the pot when the soft sound of bubbling brought you back to your senses. you leaped off the counter, turning the heat off and stirring the pot, hand over your heart as you realized the mistake you almost made.

when you saved the food, you laughed, turning to your husband with a cheeky grin, pointing an accusing finger his way.

“it’s all your fault,” you stated, wagging your finger and slowly approaching him.

“i’m sorry, please don’t hurt me!” he squeaked, a pleading look on his face as he waved his hands back and forth, panic evident on his face.

you ran after him, chasing him through the house, laughter echoing the air. suddenly, he paused, turning around and scooping you up in his arms, dinner long forgotten.

“you know, i really love you,” Iida said once he caught his breath, smiling down at you like you were the only thing that mattered to him.

“i really love you too, you dork. now put me down! i’m hungry!”

#tenya iida #iida x reader #bnha tenya #mha tenya #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #boku no hero x reader #bnha #mha #matchups

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msiopao · 4 years

Text

The One Where the Moon Became a Witness

pairing: sera x jeno

summary: in the middle of a blackout and dead phones, they danced to the music from her box in the dark with light from the moon streaming in through the window

for christmas, the members all respectively went to their homes with Renjun and Chenle going back to China and the rest to their families, but 2 remain. The parents of the two decided to take vacations without their children since they were told to warn their families that they might not make it back home for the holidays. But it was proven wrong as they were free and now, had no family to go to.

One was in a cruise while the other was in a vacation to make up for a previously cancelled anniversary trip.

Refusing the other members’ wish to stay with them, they slightly regretted the decision at the empty dorm and the silence that filled every crevice.

Sera sat on the couch with Haikyuu playing in the TV but she was barely paying attention, instead focusing on her phone with her fingers typing rapidly and her brows furrowed together. Her brothers were all in college and they too, were without their parents. At least, they had each other and met up in New York.

...

elliot: why couldn’t you just have taken a plane here

mika: its only 15 hours

sera: ‘iTs oNLy 15 hOUrS’

sera: fool get off crack

elias: we dont want you here anyways 😤

sera: i will actually fite your face

atticus: its literally christmas eve

atticus: would it kill you to be nice for a few days

sera: hmm,,, suddenly mom appeared in the chat

mika: can you video later

mika: we usually celebrate the first few hours of christmas together

elliot: we wouldnt need to do that if finny was here

sera: lit rally just say you miss me

elliot: yall hear sum

elias: SLDKFJAELLIOT

sera: that unfair

sera: i dont have a twin to clown you with

elliot: god has his favorites and its obviously not you

mika: stop arguing

mika: its annoying having to swipe up when i just want to play my game

sera: jeez, mik, why you so pissy for

atticus: elias used up all the hot water

sera: imagine being pissy for taking a cold shower

sera: you shouldnt be unfamiliar with it since you used to take one every morning right, brother mikhail sir?

elias: KSDFJ;ASDKLGHKLDSFJIMSCREAMING

elliot: GET REKT HYUNG

mika: GOD SERAFINA SHUT UP

atticus: one christmas

atticus: one peaceful christmas was what i want

...

jeno noticed her soft smile and he approached her, holding 2 mugs full of hot chocolate and marshmallows topped with whipped cream. Exactly how she liked it. A giggle escaped from her and she turned to look at him as she felt the cushion beside her sink due to the weight placed on it. She smiled gratefully at him and moved to hold her cup so he could safely hold his.

“Do you miss them?” He asked, noticing the name of her oldest brother’s name pop up.

With a wistful look, she nodded and blew on the hot liquid. “Yeah. Even though I want to see them, we only have 3 days of break so its not worth flying back and forth.”

Jeno wrapped an arm around her shoulder, gently pulling her close. His eyes trained on the ball that flew around the court in the show and he felt her laugh when the orange-haired boy missed the ball.

“Ah, no!” She whined with a laugh at the face of the boy.

Continuing to watch the banter between 2 characters, they grew silent as they became focused and interested at the show and the speech that a character was giving. She soaked in every word since it reminded her and Dream but then it went blank.

Everything went dark and the soft glow from the street light came through the window beside the TV to give them a way to see things a little bit clearer. Jeno felt her tense form and with the help of the slight light, he gently pried the cup off of her hands and placed both of their mugs on the coffee table in front of the couch.

“Ah, we have a blackout,” Jeno said. Sera nodded and she moved to turn on the flashlight from her phone only for it to blink ‘1%’ in red.

Cursing at the worst timing, she turned it off and placed it to the side since it was no use anymore. “Jeno, can we use your phone?”

With a sheepish look, he sent her a lop-sided smile. “You see, I played my game too much and I just plugged it in earlier. It might not have a lot of charge in it. I can go get it?”

“Oh, it’s okay. We just need it to tell the boys we have a blackout and in case they need to get ahold of us,” she reasoned as he stood up to get it from his room and coming back with it on hand.

They sat in silence, even the sound of birds disappeared and was replaced with eerie quietness which was very unfamiliar to the dorm. This might be the first time the walls heard such silence after they moved in.

“The light is hurting my eyes,” Jeno mumbled before taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes.

“Do you want to go in my room? My string lights are battery operated so it’s not turned off. It’s very bright,” she suggested. He nodded and they padded over to her room at the end of the hall.

Jeno has been in her room millions of times so it wasn’t unfamiliar territory and he even noticed his hoodie hanging on her chair.

“There it is!” He pointed at the missing material he was just looking for a few days ago.

Sera smiled guiltily and placed her hands up. “Sorry,” she apologized.

“Nah, it’s okay. I just thought I lost it. You can keep it,” he reassured before jumping on her bed. “It’s so not fair you got a soft bed.”

She rolled her eyes before climbing on it beside him. “What are you talking about? Jaemin has the softest. This isn’t that comfortable.”

Jeno turned his head to look at her and his ears turned red as admired the way the bright lights against the wall illuminated her face and made her eyes brighter than they usually were. It almost made it look like she was glowing.

Sera noticed his stare and looked at him curiously. “Hm? Something on my face?”

He snapped out of it and his smile reached his eyes, turning it to crescents. “No. I just like the lights.”

For a 30 minutes, they just talked about absolute nonsense and old memories to past time since they couldn’t use his phone for entertainment. Then the string up lights flickered slightly that went unnoticed by the two.

“God, Chenle almost killed Renjun. Thank god you were able to hold him back,” Sera laughed at the memory.

Jeno shook his head with a smile when he remembered the unpleasant time that Renjun spilled a little bit of paint on his apple watch. “Honestly, he could’ve just gotten a new one. It didn’t help that you pointed it out in the first place.”

“Yah, if I didn’t, Jisung would’ve. There was a big blob of blue in the screen of his watch. Who wouldn’t notice that?” She defended and tightened her hold of his middle.

“Okay, okay,” he chuckled and was about to say something when for the second time that day, they were covered in darkness again.

“Really, God absolutely hates me right now,” she muttered harshly. “Chenle took all of that good luck with him. I told him to leave that jade bracelet here.”

Jeno knew about her slight fear of the dark because she slept with the lights on everyday and it’s been probably a while since she changed the batteries.

“You stay here while I go get some batteries and a flashli-”

“No, don’t leave me.” She stopped him from sitting up with a hand on his arm.

Jeno saw her slight wide eyes and nodded before laying back down. His brain racked up ways to comfort and keep her entertained but he came blank. Turning his head to the side, he looked around her room with blurry eyes and he found the small box that she had on top of her dresser.

“I have an idea,” he said. “But I need to get up, love. Will you let me go get it?”

She nodded and he smiled softly before standing up and crossing the room to grab the circular object. Sera sat up and saw the familiar outline of her great-grandmother’s music box that was given to her right before she died.

Jeno gently wound the box and opened the lid, hearing the soft melody of an unknown song and watching the dancing of the 2 figures. He placed it on her nightstand and he held his hand out to her.

“May I have this dance, m’lady?” He asked. Sera wasn’t able to answer properly since the moon hit behind him so perfectly that it looked like he was an angel and she still cannot believe someone as gorgeous and perfect like Jeno was her best friend.

“I-Um,, Yes.”

In their pajamas and socks, the two people danced slowly, moving side to side. Their eyes were closed as they slowly got lost into their own world. The soft music from the box filled the room and she could feel his heartbeat as her head rested on his chest and her arms were loosely around his neck. Jeno’s hold of her waist tightened when she moved closer to his warm form.

“Thanks, Jen.” Her gratitude made a smile appear in his face and he kissed the top of her head.

“I can feel your heartbeat,” she mumbled against the cloth.

“Hm? Can you really?” He asked, smile growing wide.

“Yea,” she answered. “Hey, Jen?”

“Hm?”

“I love your smile the most.”

The declaration took him aback. “W-Well, thanks?”

Sera smiled at his awkward stutter and continued on. “It reminds me of the moon. When you smile, it just lights up everything else. Like the moon in the sky. It gives purpose and comfort that there is light in the midst of darkness. And your eyes. They scrunch up like moon crescents. That’s my favorite hour of the moon.”

“I love your smile, too.” He giggled and there was something different in the atmosphere.

She opened her eyes and saw the digital clock flash a red ‘12:05′. “Look, it’s Christmas.”

Jeno moved his head and he swears he could see faint snowflakes. “Oh? It is.”

“I guess I got my wish then,” she hummed happily.

“What?”

“I wanted God to let me spend Christmas with someone I love,” she revealed and looked up to meet his eyes. “It wasn’t just a coincidence that you happened to have to stay here too.”

He brushed away strands of her hair that rested on her face before patting her hair. “Stuff happens for a reason.”

“When I came to Korea, you and Jaemin were the only ones I had. But now, I have 18 people with me. I’m very thankful for everything but I think meeting you is the one I’m most thankful for.”

The confession might’ve been spawned as she got more tired and sleepy but he thinks that she’s probably wanted to say that for a while.

“I’m here for you, Sera. I’ve been here from the start and I’ll be here till the end.” Jeno reassured and she hugged him tighter with a content sigh.

His promise is only heard by the 4 walls of her room and remembered by the two of them but it signifies a new beginning and the creation of a deeper bond and the only witness was the moon.

And it thought this was beautiful.

a/n: this was lowkey cute but it didnt turn out the way i wanted it to :(

#nct dream #nct #nct 22nd member #nct dream 8th member #nct au #nct dream imagines #nct dream imagine #nct dream scenarios #nct dream scenario #nct dream 8th member au #8th member of nct dream #nct 22nd member au #22nd member of nct #nct dream female member #nct female member #nct female addition #nct dream female addition

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nataliecarsonsuniverse · 4 years

Text

Say You Will Remember Me (Part 2)

Summary:

2016: Spencer has just gotten married to (Y/n), the girl of his dreams. The two navigate their new life together as they work through his demanding job and a stalker that just won't leave them alone.

2018: Wendy and Peter have been hiding out in Maine for nearly a year now from Wendy's abusive ex. The two are just starting to settle into the new lives that they hope to spend with each other.

2020: After two years of searching for his missing wife, (Y/n) and Spencer are brought back together again. However, things take a turn for the worse as Spencer realizes that she is no longer the same girl he married.

(Part 1)

March 2017

Washington D.C.

(Y/N) sat on the couch, her leg anxiously bouncing up and down. Spencer was due to be home any minute now and she could not wait to see him. He had been gone for nine days this time, far longer than usual. To say that the nights had been lonely was an understatement. She got through the day as best as she could, it wasn’t hard to be distracted all day while teaching fourth graders. After the fifth night of him not coming home she decided she would stay later at work, grading papers and getting ready for the next day. Honestly, anything to avoid having to go home to their empty house.

Friday night she had been at a bar with some friends when he called to tell her they had finally solved the case. She got so excited when he told her that he thought that he would be home that night and that she would finally get to share her bed with her husband again only for him to tell her that the weather in Seattle was really bad and they weren’t going to be able to fly out till Saturday morning. She had tried to hide her disappointment in her voice, she had always tried to make an effort to make it seem like she was okay with the long periods of absence. She never wanted him to think that she resented him for his job. So she tried to hide it the best she could, but she had also already had two beers and according to him, she was a lightweight, so she was pretty sure that he heard the disappointment. And if he didn’t he definitely figured it out when she said “what a fucking bummer” into the phone thinking that she had already hung it up.

So when she finally heard keys in the door and the doorknob turn it open it should not have surprised when she nearly tackled him before he made it into their apartment. Yet for a genius, he could be pretty dense sometimes.

“Woah Pipes,” He said laughing as she snaked her arms around his neck, her lips already finding him. Nine days she thought. Nine days since she had kissed. After a second of kissing, whatever hesitation or exhaustion that was left him gave in as he dropped his bags right there in the entryway and carried her to their bedroom.

Afterward, he pulled her into his chest burying his nose into her red hair feeling content now that he was back home with her. Traveling all the time used to never bother him but now that he was leaving her behind each time he heard the phrase “wheels up” he mentally shuddered to wonder how long it would be until he can fall asleep next to her again. And then there was how much more dangerous the job felt now. All of a sudden there was a person waiting for him to come home, someone who would be devastated if he never did come home. Sure his mom would be devastated as well as the team but yet the idea of leaving her behind made him want to be sick.

“Spence?” (Y/N) asked, putting a hand on his chest, raising herself up just a little to look at him. “Where did you go?”

“Sorry.” He replied as he went back to rubbing circles on her back as she once again settled herself against his chest. He was slightly disappointed that it was only 1 pm as he would’ve loved to have just fallen asleep right now. “You seem really happy today.” He said all of a sudden remembering the way that she practically pounced on him the second he walked in the door.

“I just missed you,” (Y/N) responded. “But also you hit your one hundred marks which means that I have the next thirty days with you.”

“Always a hidden motive with you isn’t there?” he asked teasingly. He of course also knew that he would get to spend the next thirty days working fairly normal hours while teaching. He used to hate the whole thirty days off thing but now that he was married he absolutely loved it.

“Ah man, you caught me,” (Y/N) responded before looking back up at him again noting the way that his eyelids were droopy and he was clearly struggling to keep his eyes open. “You’re tired,” she said. “What if we take a one hour nap and then head off to a late lunch or something?”

“Actually it’s not good to nap for more than thirty minutes. The ideal time to nap is twenty minutes as after thirty minutes the body will start to retreat into a deeper sleep and that will cause someone to wake more groggy than when they first started sleeping.” Spencer rambled.

“Okay then,” (Y/N) said, reaching for her phone off the bed stand table. “Then we will nap for twenty minutes.” Spencer nodded as she set an alarm before setting the phone back down on the table. She then laid her head back down on his chest and listened to his heartbeat slowly even out. Within about 2 minutes of setting the alarm, he was out like a light while she stared at their bedroom wall drawing lazy circles on his bare skin.

-----

September 2018

Bar Harbor Maine

Wendy woke up to sunlight streaming through cracked blinds, she reached across the bed hoping to find Peter but all she found was empty cold sheets. She sat up in bed rubbing her eyes confused as to where he went, he knew how she felt about waking up alone, the way it triggered something in her brain to panic and think that something terrible had happened. Wendy reached over on the nightstand to grab the alarm clock which read five in the morning. Nearly a year of living in Maine and she still wasn’t used to how early the sun rose here. She distinctly remembered someone telling her that Acadia National Park is the first place where sunlight hits each morning in the U.S. but she for the life of her could not remember who told her that.

“Peter!” She called out. Nothing. Wendy got out of bed grabbing her night robe from where it had been discarded before the events of the last night. She wrapped it tightly around herself before walking out into the living room to find Peter fast asleep on the couch. Although she was confused as to why he came out here, she decided it best not to wake him up. He looked so peaceful when he slept.

So instead she headed into their kitchen to make tea. She was ecstatic when Peter had returned home one night from a shopping trip with a kettle saying that she would no longer have to have the instant stuff, not that it was bad by any means, but it wasn’t what she was used to. After she got her cup of tea, she headed outside and sat down on the porch of their house overlooking the water.

It was starting to get cold here this time in Maine, the tourist town of Bar Harbor was slowly growing quieter and quieter which was nice. She had been downtown one time with Peter and the number of people roaming the streets made her so anxious that she begged Peter to take her home. It was strange to her that she no longer found comfort in mass crowds considering that for so long it was all she knew. But now she craves a small-town feel, somewhere where everyone knows everyone.

Wendy was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t hear the front door open until Peter was sitting down on the porch swing next to her. “What are you thinking about love?” He asks her to swing the swing back and forth.

“Nothing really.” She responded. “What time did you move to the couch and why?” She asked him looking over at him trying to read him as best as she could.

“I’m not sure, maybe two-ish?” He responded.

“Why?” She asked again.

“I had a nightmare.”

“Peter,” Wendy said, reaching for his hand which he let her take in hers. She gave it a reassuring squeeze. “You could’ve woke me up.” She continued “You help me with my nightmares it’s only fair I help you with yours”

“I don’t want to be a burden,” he responded.

“Well neither do I,” she said. “Please let me help you next time.”

“Okay.”

“Promise?”

“Yes.” He said leaning over to kiss her. “I love you.”

Wendy swallowed he hadn’t said that yet, neither one of them had. They were being careful to not jump into things too fast, at least that’s what she had told herself. Yet sitting here, his hand in hers, listening to the bird’s chirp and watching the sun slowly rise into the sky, something just felt so right. So without any hesitation, she responded, “I love you too.” The way his face lit up when she said the words confirmed that she had made the right choice.

“So I was thinking that since our anniversary is this weekend maybe today I can take you to the mall and you can get a new dress and we can go out to a nice dinner this weekend?”

“Like actually go out and sit down at a restaurant?” Wendy asked the excitement evident in her voice.

“Yeah” Peter responded but judging from the way he said that she could tell that he was kind of nervous about the idea. “I made our reservations at this steak house just a little outside of town but you have to dress formally and I realized that you don’t really have any formal clothes so we would have to go to the mall. And I could just do it myself but I thought that it might be a nice treat for you to pick out the dress yourself.”

“That sounds amazing Peter!” Wendy exclaimed hopping up off the swing. “Can we go now?” She asked already heading inside to change clothes.

"Woah,” Peter said laughing “it’s only six am they are not open yet.” Wendy nodded as she realized just how early it still was. “I was thinking we can go around eleven and then stop and grab lunch on the way back.”

“That sounds perfect,” Wendy said before kissing him again. “I really love you,” she said for the second time, still trying the words out.

-----

March 2017

Washington D.C.

(Y/N) sighed in the bathroom as she stared at the three negative pregnancy tests in front of her. When she bought them she thought that she would be relieved if they were negative. She and Spencer had never talked about having kids, at least not since being married. It was a conversation they had when they were dating and they both agreed that they wanted kids but the conversation had never really been brought up again. They certainly had not been trying to have kids right now and (Y/N) wasn’t 100 percent sure how he would react when she told him. That’s what she told herself at least as she stood in line at CVS and got a look from the older woman who checked her out. Twenty-five was not too young to be having a child, but according to most of her friends, she still looked twenty at the most.

But then she got home to their apartment where Spencer was sitting on the couch reading and the second that she walked in she wondered what she had been thinking. Of course, he would be thrilled if she told him she was pregnant. He would be over the moon. Just the other day (Y/N) had a conversation with his best friend JJ about how much he really wanted kids. It felt like a subtle nod on her part as she wanted Henry to have a cousin.

Here (Y/N) sat staring at the three pregnancy tests trying her hardest not to tear up. She did want this. She wanted them to be positive so badly. A soft knock on the bathroom door snapped her out of her trance and she remembered that her husband was still here and probably wondering why she had been in the bathroom for twenty minutes. “You okay (Y/N)?” He asked.

She swallowed thickly as the tears finally left her eyes she reached up and wiped them with her sleeve before responding “yeah. Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” He questioned and this time she wasn’t able to suppress the sob that erupted from her throat. “Alright open the door Pipes” He commanded clearly concerned. She did as she was told and let him into the small bathroom. It didn’t take long for him to notice what was sitting on the counter. She watched his face grow ecstatic for a second before realizing what the results of the test were. “Oh, honey.” He whispered immediately, pulling her into a bear hug and running one hand through her hair while the other rubbed reassuringly on her back. “It’s okay.” He whispered to her over and over again.

“I’m sorry.” She said.

“What?” He asked, kind of flabbergasted. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” He said as he let her sob into his chest. “Honestly (Y/N) it’s okay. It just wasn’t meant to be yet.” He kissed the top of her head before leading her out of the bathroom and to the living room where the two of them sat down on the couch.

(Y/N) took a deep breath moving loose strands of her hair behind her ears. “I know that we haven’t been married for long and I know that we were both kinds of enjoying what we’ve got going on now but I really wanted those to be positive.” She said her voice was still kind of shaky.

Spencer smiled at her taking her hand into his as she laid her head on his shoulder. “I know.” He said. “I mean are you ready to start trying?” He asked sounding almost kind of nervous which if the circumstances had been different (Y/N) probably would’ve laughed about but instead, she just smiled.

“Kind of.” She said.

“Kind of?” He asked.

“I don’t know,” she responded. “I’m kind of scared”

“About what?” He asked her “You’ll be a great mother.”

“I’m worried that it won’t happen easily for us and then sex will become like some chore where we are only doing it when I’m ovulating and pretty soon it won’t even be enjoyable cause we will be so stressed about trying to convince and” (Y/N) stopped abruptly hiccuping as more sobs took over.

“Pips.” He whispered wrapping his arms around her again. “It’s all going to be okay. I promise. What if we just stop using protection and see what happens?” He asks.

“Like you won’t be keeping track of my ovulation.” She replies laughing slightly.

“I mean you’re right I probably will but it won’t be a concise effort and I won’t say a thing to you about it.” He said.

“Okay,” (Y/N) said taking a deep breath she wrapped her arm tighter around his torso appearing remarkably more calm then she did before. She reached for the remote and turned on Netflix before pulling up The Office, it wasn’t his cup of tea but he liked it because she liked it and he loved the sound of a laugh.

About ten minutes into the show (Y/N) had not laughed once he looked down to make sure that she wasn’t quietly crying again but found that her eyes were closed and she was fast asleep. He let the episode play in case she were to wake up and because the background noise was a nice distraction from his thoughts.

He had never seen his wife panic as she had twenty minutes earlier. He could tell that she was holding something back and as his brain began to go through all the things she might have been biting her tongue on he got more and more nervous. He wondered if she was terrified about the kind of genes he was going to be passing onto any future child of his. Sure there was the genius aspect which was great depending on which way you looked at it. But then there was also the fact that his child would be at a higher risk for schizophrenia as well as early-onset dementia, two things that absolutely scared him. And then there was the fact that he had no fucking idea what kind of genetics his father might have passed onto him that he could pass onto a child. Surly (Y/N) has thought about what he was going to be passing on and she had to be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t afraid of that. Which is why he came to the conclusion that she didn’t bring that up when she freaked out earlier. She didn’t know how to lie to him and say that it wasn’t a fear of hers.

Spencer took a deep breath and ran his hands through her hair looking down at her. She always looked so peaceful when she was asleep. He spent so many nights when they first started dating just watching her sleep wondering what she was dreaming about and if it was by any chance him. He sighed to himself turning off the tv and picking her up off the couch before carrying her to the bedroom where he gently put her down on the bed. He kicked off his clothes before crawling in next to her and wrapping his arms around her. In her sleep, she scooted closer to him locking their hands together.

He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the sound of even breathing. They would be okay. That’s what he told her earlier and he needed to believe it for himself. Maybe he could sign up to see a genetic counselor, someone who could give him some solid answers on what his child might be predisposed to and how likely they are of having it. As he closed his eyes he mentally made it a plan to try and get an appointment with someone. Maybe it was stupid to not tell her but he didn’t feel like there was any use telling (Y/N) yet. At least not until he knew for sure what he was looking at here. It would just cause her to worry more and the last thing he wants is for the worry more.

September 2018

Bar Harbor Maine

Wendy and Peter walked through the mall hand in hand, Peter occasionally giving her hand a gentle squeeze, she couldn’t tell if that was for her benefit or for his. Wendy smiled to herself at all the people in the mall living ordinary lives, kids running around in the indoor playground, couples walking down the corridors hand in hand, teenage girls gossiping as they swung their shopping bags. It’s been a long time since she felt comfortable being out and surrounded by people like she currently is. It was honestly hard to believe that she once roamed malls gossiping with her friends about the cute boy in the third period. It was only ten years ago that she was sixteen yet that felt like a lifetime ago. A lot can happen in ten years. If she could go back in time she would tell that girl to be careful who she trusts as even the boys that say they love you will eventually hurt you.

But that was neither here nor there Wendy thought to herself as Peter squeezed her hand again snapping her out of her trance. “Would you be okay going into Macy’s alone?” Peter asks her and automatically Wendy’s heart starts beating a little bit faster at the idea of being alone in a big store. “If not it’s totally okay, but I have a surprise for you later tonight and I need to go pick it up.” They stopped walking just outside Macy’s. “It’s okay Wendy. There is no way that he is going to be able to find you at some random mall in some random store all the way up in Maine. I promise that you’re safe I wouldn’t have even taken you out of the house if I thought otherwise.”

Wendy nodded at that knowing that Peter was right. The first couple of months they spent in Maine they hadn’t left the house at all. They were both so afraid that he would be able to find them, they had covered every trace but you could never be so sure. Peter was convinced for a while that he would find them, there was a while where even he wasn’t leaving the house so afraid that he would find them. Peter just kept talking about how he knows those kinds of guys and that they aren’t the type to just let go. Peter was even going as far as to order all their groceries online and have them left at the door with absolutely no contact. And while that worked for the first few months they eventually started going stir crazy, although Wendy still kind of is if she was being honest.

“Yeah,” she replied. “I can do that.” She said as Peter reached into his wallet to hand her a credit card. “Besides this will be more fun. Now you won’t have any idea what my dress looks like until we go to dinner and it will be a total surprise.”

“I can’t wait.” Peter replied giving her a quick kiss “text me when you’re done and I’ll let you know where I am.” He finished before he headed off in the opposite direction to get whatever her surprise was.

Wendy then turned and headed into Macy’s smiling as she enjoyed the company of just herself. She loved Peter to death but there were definitely days when she just needed some alone time. She would never admit it to him but she often enjoyed the days when he headed out to the grocery store without her. Then she could breathe and cry freely without someone standing over her telling her he isn’t worth her tears.

Wendy headed upstairs to the women’s department of the store to start browning through dresses. Peter had told her that she would need to be dressed fancy to get into this restaurant which meant that not only would she had to pick out a nice dress but she would also have to get herself another pair of high heels.

Wendy grabbed a few dresses off the racks before retreating to the dressing room. She hung all the dresses up before looking at herself in the mirror. She often tried to avoid her reflection at all costs as every time she looked in the mirror she was reminded of what he did to her. She took her shirt off followed by her pants trying to ignore the cigarette burn on her chest. That was the one that bothered her the most. Late at night she could still feel the cigarette burn and hear the sound it made as it was put out on her skin.

Wendy tore her eyes away from the burn before slipping on a green dress. She liked it on the hanger but something about the way it fit just didn’t look right. She picked up the next dress a pale yellow color that was tight in all the right places. She put the dress on zipping it in the back but immediately decided that she didn’t like the color. The pale color contrasted way too much with her Jett black hair. The last dress she tried on was a bright red dress with a dangerous slit up the side of it. She pulled it on and immediately knew that it was the one.

She quickly changed back into her own clothing putting the other two dresses back on the rack before heading out with the red one. She then headed down to the shoe section quickly picking out a pair of black stilettos. They were simple but the heel on them was tall enough that it would make her already long legs look extra stunning.

As she approached the checkout counter she pulled out her phone to see where Peter was at. All she had was a text from him saying that he had finished up and he asked her to meet him at the car. She sent him back a quick reply before the girl called her to the counter. Wendy exchanged pleasantries with her as she bought the dress and shoes. The girl then slapped both items into a large bag before telling Wendy to have a great day.

It didn’t take long for Wendy to make her way outside the cool September breeze making her shiver. As she made her way to Peter’s car she noticed him standing outside it holding something in his hands. As her eyes traveled downward she was shocked to see a little puppy connected to the leash. “Oh my gosh, you did not!” She all but shouted as she ran to him quickly closing the distance between them. “Thank you so much.” She whispered to him before leaning down to pet the puppy. “Hi, there buddy.” She said a huge smile on her face.

“I saw her the other day in the window at the puppy store and just knew that you would love her,” Peter said. “You can pick her name.” Peter continued “but we should get home.” Peter continued reaching down to take the puppy off the leash before handing her over to Wendy. Wendy gratefully accepted scoping the puppy into her arms before climbing into the passenger seat.

“She is so freaking cute!” Wendy exclaimed. “Thank you so much, Peter.” Peter smiled over at her from the driver seat before putting the car in drive and leaving the parking lot to head back home.

April 2017

Boise Idaho

“Thank you,” Spencer said into the phone. “I really appreciate it.” He added before hanging up. After he hung up he stared down at his phone trying to decide what to do now. A small smile graced his lips.

“You okay?” JJ asked him as she walked into the conference room that he had walked into to take the phone call. He looked up at her slightly startled as he had been so lost in his own thoughts. “Was that (Y/N)?”

“No.” He said. “It was the genetic counselor that I signed up to see.” He said honestly. It felt weird to be talking about this to JJ before he talked about it with his wife but maybe JJ could help him figure out how to tell (Y/N).

“Is everything alright?” She asked.

“Actually yes,” Spencer said, finally looking up from his phone that had long ago locked itself. When he looked at her he couldn’t help the wide smile that overtook his face. “The doctor said that the odds of me passing on schizophrenia or dementia were incredibly low.”

“Spence that’s incredible!” JJ said, now smiling just as wide as he was. “Oh, that must make (Y/N) so happy.”

“About that.” He said the smile only slightly faltered. “I haven’t told her about any of this. Like obviously she knows that it runs in my family but I didn’t tell her that I signed up for genetic counseling.”

“Why not?” JJ asked.

“I didn’t want her to worry,” he mumbled.

“Spence,” JJ said

“I know. I know. It was wrong of me to not tell her.” Spencer said.

“You should call her,” JJ said. “She deserves to know, especially knowing that it’s good news.” Spencer nodded knowing that she was right. “Does this mean that you two are going to start trying?” She asked, trying to hide the excitement in her voice but doing a really poor job.

“We agreed that we were going to just let things kind of happen naturally as of right now.” He said.

“I’m so happy for you,” JJ said, closing the distance between the two of them to give him a hug. For so long she had known that Spencer wanted to have children but now hearing that he and his wife were actually semi-trying she couldn’t help but be excited for her best friend. Just then the conference room doors opened and Rossi and Morgan walked in. JJ quickly let go of Spencer before turning to them to ask them if they found anything at the crime scene.

Spencer tried to listen as closely as he could but the only thing occupying his mind at the moment was what he was going to say to (Y/N). He had decided that he would call her later tonight in the hotel room. He would just tell her during the nightly conversations that the two of them always had.

Washington D.C.

(Y/N) was laying on the couch almost falling asleep to the same episode of Parks and Rec she had seen fifteen times when her phone rang. She glanced at the time noting that it was one am in the morning but only 11 at night out in Boise. She picked up the phone sliding it to accept the call. “Hey,s babe.” She said unable to stop the yawn that came out.

“Shit,” he said clearly realizing that he called her at one int he morning. “Did I wake you up?”

“Nope,” (Y/N) said. “I was just laying on the couch.”

“Don’t you have to teach tomorrow?” He asked before checking the date. “Nope sorry I forgot that you have this Friday off. Any big plans?”

“I think I’m going to go to lunch with Louise,” (Y/N) said. “There is some brewery that she really wants to take me to.”

“That sounds like fun,” Spencer said and she nodded before remembering that he couldn't actually see her nod. “Listen,” he said, the tone of his voice completely changing. “There is something we need to talk about.”

“Oh?” (Y/N) asked, concerned she sat upon their couch rubbing her eyes.

“So about a month ago when we had that conversation about like starting to try for a baby?” Spencer asked clearly, waiting for (Y/N) to say that she remembered that conversation as if there was a possibility that it had just slipped her mind.

“Yeah,” (Y/N) said.

“Well,” He continued dragging out his words. “I kind of started to panic that night thinking about what I would be passing down genetically. So I made an appointment the next day-”

“Wait.” (Y/N) said almost laughing “Is this about the genetic counselor?”

“Um yes?” Spencer said clearly confused, something that did not happen often, she can almost picture him now his face all scrunched up while he tried to work through what was going on. She found it adorable and was almost bummed she wasn’t there to see it. “How, how did you know?” He asks.

“Spencer.” She says. “You’re not exactly the most sneaky person.” She said laughing. “I knew that you were going to propose the exact day you bought the ring, it was so obvious that you were hiding something and the exact same thing happened right after that conversation. I didn’t know what it was you were hiding until the insurance bill showed up in the mail.”

“Ah,” Spencer said. “That makes sense.”

“Yeah,” (Y/N) said, laying back down on the couch pulling the blanket up around her and burying her face into his pillow that she had pulled from their bedroom. He had only been gone two days now yet it felt like much longer. “You know I don’t care right?” She asked him. “It does not matter one bit to me.”

“Well, it should.”

“Why would it?” (Y/N) asked. “I married you even though there is a small chance you may start to forget me years down the road.”

“I’m still not sure why you did that.”

“Because I love you idiot.” (Y/N) responded. “What did the doctor say?”

“Why?” Spencer asked teasingly. “I thought that it didn’t bother you?”

“Don’t make me fly all the way out to Idaho,” (Y/N) warned laughing too.

“She said there was a very small chance that I would pass either of them on,” Spencer said.

(Y/N) smiled into the phone. “See?” She asked. “Nothing to be worried about. How is the case going? AKA how long until you will be home?”

“It’s going good.” He said. “We are making pretty good progress. I think maybe by Sunday I’ll be home.”

“Ugh Spence that’s like two days from now,” (Y/N) whined. “I miss you.”

“I miss you more.” Spencer replied.

“I should probably let you,” (Y/N) said, glancing at the clock and realizing that it was nearly midnight out there. “You’ve got to get some sleep so that you can give it your all tomorrow and maybe be home by Saturday?” (Y/N) asked him, her voice hopeful.

“Maybe,” Spencer said. “I love you.” He said. “Have a good night.”

“I love you too,” (Y/N) said. “I’ll see you soon.” She hung up the phone sighing to herself as she grabbed everything off the couch and retreated towards their bedroom. She threw his pillow and her blanket down before heading into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Afterward, she went back out into their kitchen to shut off all the lights when she noticed an envelope that had slipped under the door at some point. She picked it up and noted the neat handwriting on the envelope that read Spencer’s name.

(Y/N) threw the envelope down on the counter leaving it for Spencer when he got back home. She then went back into their bedroom climbing into bed before turning off the lamp next to the bed. She sat there staring at the ceiling for a while before finally turning on her side, burying her face into his pillow pretending that he was there with her.

----

September 2018

Bar Harbor, Maine

“Darling!” Peter called out from the living room of their house as he straightened his tie in the mirror hanging above the end table in the entryway. “Are you about ready?”

“Yes!” Wendy called back out as she opened up the bedroom door coming out wearing a stunning red dress.

“Wow,” Peter said. “You look amazing.” Wendy twirled once, radiating happiness. Peter laughed at his hands finding her waistline before leaning down to kiss her. “Absolutely stunning.” He whispered against her lips as she smiled. “Are you ready?” He asked. “I don’t want us to be late.”

Wendy nodded once before leaning down to kiss her new puppy goodbye. She then stood up taking Peter’s hand and letting him lead her out to the car. He opened her door for her like the gentlemen he was and she got in the car smoothing her dress over. The drive to the restaurant was relatively quiet as Wendy took in all the passing scenery of the little towns that they drove through.

“Where is this restaurant at?” Wendy asked after they had been driving for thirty minutes.

“It’s up in Bangor.” He responded. “There aren't’ really a lot of good steakhouses in Bar Harbor as it’s mostly just a tourist town but this one in Bangor is well worth the drive.”

Wendy nodded once. “Did you grow up in Bar Harbor?” She asked him, realizing that she really had no idea why he chose Maine to run away to. “Or in Maine?” She followed up.

“No.” Peter said kind of hesitation before he finished“I actually grew up in Nevada.” Wendy shuttered at that not wanting to remember the few times she had been to Nevada. “Reno.” He added. “But my dad owned a casino in Vegas. It’s a generational thing. His dad passed it onto him and eventually I will inherit it.” Wendy nodded. She knew Peter came from money but knew it made sense just how much money.

“My mom was from Maine.” Peter continued. “So we came up here quite a bit, her family was from Portland but my dad didn’t like Portland so instead he bought a lake house in Bar Harbor, the house that we are currently living in, and we kind of just made it our own.”

“I see,” Wendy said, reaching across the car to take Peter’s hand in hers. “I’m glad that you decided to share it with me.”

“Me too.” Peter replied as he pulled off the highway and navigated the streets of Bangor before pulling into a parking lot that was full of nice cars and people wearing similar style dresses as Wendys and full on suits like Peters.

Peter put the car in park, shutting off the car before quickly coming around to open Wendy’s door again. The two then made their way into the restaurant hand in hand. Inside Peter gave his name to the hostesses and the two of them were quickly seated in a booth in the back of the restaurant.

Wendy took her seat across from Peter noting the dim lighting and the candles that were lit on the table. “This is really nice.” She said as she grabbed a menu and started to flip through it deciding on what she would have. The waitress came over and dropped off a basket of bread which Wendy eargley took, splitting the roll in half and lathering it with butter. The waitress then took both of their drink orders before retreating back into the kitchen.

“So I think I picked a name for our puppy.” Wendy said. Peter had told her that it was up to her to pick a name for the little guy. She had been thinking about it all night and morning when it finally hit her what she wanted to name her. “I really like the name Cherry.”

“Cherry?” Peter asked, tilting his head side to side as if imagining the little puppy as ‘Cherry’. “I like it.” He said after a moment. “How’d you come up with it?”

“I don’t know.” Wendy lied slightly before decided to fuck it and just tell him the truth. “I just have this really strong memory of being a little girl and walking underneath all the cherry blossom trees and being so happy. I can’t explain it but those trees just give off this sort of feeling that I wish I could bottle up and take everywhere.” She rambled. “And it seemed especially fitting for her now because in Japan, where cherry blossoms are the national flower, they represent a renewal in hope which is what I feel sitting here with you right now.” Wendy finished.

“I love you so much dear.” Peter said, taking Wendy’s hand from across the table. “And I think the name Cherry is very fitting for her.” He said as the waitress came back with their drinks and to get their orders for dinner.

While they waited for their steaks the two of them fell into the natural rhythm of conversation that they always had. That’s what Wendy loved most about Peter, she loved how easy it was to be with him. There were never any moments where she didn’t know what to say, everything just came so naturally.

It didn’t take long for their steaks to be sat down in front of them and as soon as Wendy took a bite of the steak she knew exactly what Peter meant when he said that the hour drive was worth it. It was easily the best steak she had ever had. “This is amazing.” She said with a mouthful of food as she quickly brought her hand to cover her mouth realizing that it was not polite at all to speak with your mouth full of food.

“I know.” Peter said. “It is easily better than half the steaks I’ve had in New York from places that claim to have the best steak in the world.” The two of them then continued on with their small talk as Wendy waited for the opening she needed to bring up what she had been wanting to talk about since he let her go into Macy’s alone the other day.

“So listen.” She said and he looked up from his steak as he was able to hear the tone change in her voice. “I was thinking that maybe it would be nice, if I could um, have some more freedom now that it’s been a year.”

“More freedom?” Peter asked. “Wendy, you’re making it sound you’re a prisoner.”

“What?” Wendy asked. “No, I didn’t mean that at all. I just meant that it would be nice if I could start going places on my own every once in a while. Take the grocery store for instance, I could totally go there on my own. Or even the mall if I wanted to buy some more clothes.”

“I don’t know Wendy it just makes me -”

“Nervous.” Wendy finished for him. “I know. But it’s been a year Peter. He is not going to find us up here and I need to go back to living my life. I want this. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until I went into the store the other day. I did just fine on my own.”

“I know.” Peter responded. “I was really proud of you.”

“See?” Wendy asked. “You know that I can do this. Think about how much better our lives will be if we can start leaving the house like normal people. You can get a job since you don’t have to sit at home and make sure I’m safe all day. I could even get a part time job somewhere. I saw the other day in the newspaper a job listing for the library, I could do that.”

“Wendy.” He said softly pursing his lips together. “You can’t have a job.”

“Why not?”

“Because you don't have a social security number, it’s the same reason you can’t get a driver's license.”

“I have a social security number.” She responded before thinking and the look on his face reminded her exactly why her social security would do her no good.

“Okay well then I could still do small jobs, like I could look to see if there was anyone within walking distance that needed a nanny. Something under the table you know?”

“That could work.” Peter responded thinking for a moment before responding. “Actually that would probably be really good.”

Wendy broke out into a huge smile. “And leaving the house when i want?” She asked

“I’ll think about that one.” Peter responded. “I don’t love the idea of you just walking around everywhere but I also don’t love the idea of you driving without a license because if you get pulled over we are totally fucked.” Wendy nodded in agreement. “But I will think about the idea of letting you go more freely around. I think that you’re right. I don’t think that we have to be scared of him finding us anymore.”

“Yay!” Wendy started to shout but then remembered that they were in a very public space. “Thank you so much Peter.” She said. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds #mgg

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