I saw someone saw that Alice Oseman is straight, cause she's aro ace. And therefore she's not queer, and it's not good that she's writing a story with gay relationships, cause she herself is not queer??? The acephobia 🙄

Honestly, what the hell. Sometimes I think people tend to be so exclusionary about literature these days that it’s impossible to unpair our hypercritical tendencies from our consumption of media and understanding of themes. Alice is queer if they define themselves as queer, no questions asked, and aro/ace people are queer if they identify with the community. But it’s not up to anyone else to decide. And it’s honestly so insulting and infuriating to immediately say authors cannot write coming out stories or questioning identity stories because you cannot know what experiences the author has had in life! Questioning and coming out as aro/ace is just as queer as questioning and coming out as a lesbian, as gay, as bisexual, as transgender, as non-binary, anything else within the community.

They can fuck off with that “aces aren’t queer” nonsense. And sincerely: do not define the experiences and sexualities and identities of people who are not you.

Suddenly feeling a lot of ace emotions. my sister brought up a pride discussion which I supposedly got "heated" during as if I shouldn't have feelings about ace visibily. Then I had my weekly coaching session last night where my coachee pried into my relationship history. I get why he wanted to know but I shouldn't have to out myself to him and deal with explaining personal things unless I choose to when he's the one getting coaching. Then I came across ace/aro hate speech here on tumblr and almost cried trying to go to sleep. I felt better this morning but just finished watching Kissing Jessica Stein which triggered emotions again because of this coming up. I get that the point in the movie is that Jessica wasn't bi while Helen was, but the break up being over them not having sex got to me because Helen said it wasn't enough. It didn't matter that Jessica was there for her and that they were best friends. Anyway, it shouldn't bother me because Jessica pushed her away before that and was clearly fine having straight sex. The conversation just got to me because it felt like more of a confrontation toward me.

Listen man, you guys can't be like "you guys need to be normal about asexuality" and then turn around and get weirdly judgemental when you find out someone doesn't have sex by choice. Like that's weird that some of you do that.

ace sketch study + a law so i can feel goth again after that

"aphobia doesn't exist"

bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it

Ms. Mia Fey

Just two lawyers lawyering……

Obsessed with lovers and piners calling the object of their affections their best friend. Like yessss blur the lines between platonic and romantic love. show how important they are to you in a multifaceted way. Cover up your feelings with another kind of love that is just as true. One type of love does not negate the other and but tragedy can rip both out from under you single handedly, and it will hurt so much more that way. Losing a friend and a lover. Gaining both and not needing any labels for what they are. Using labels but having it be so much more than a title. Were they friends before they were lovers? Or were they lovers whose friendship grew inside of their love? Unclear! Who cares!

some turnabout succession dialogue i rlly liked

me: so u see apollo's objection theme starts out with the melody following the same beat as the rhythm track in the background, unlike phoenix's objection themes, which are all very distinctively syncopated all the way through. but as apollo's theme progresses the melody gradually gets more out of sync with the background rhythm track. this shows that while phoenix's style is unconventional and "off-beat" from the start, apollo starts out trying to do his job by the book but eventually finds that the most effective way to seek justice is to be a little unconventional and not just follow the beaten track because u can't win by following the rules in a broken system. do u understand. he's finding his voice. making himself heard against the background. it's symbolism

my work emails: inbox (6385)

me: i mean im not a music theorist

my work emails: inbox (6386)

Feel free to add your favorite race below if I did not have space to add it! Ooo and if you have a favorite homebrew race you can add that too!

On the chase~

What can I say really

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

When people say "I don't want my child to be exposed to LGBTQ+ media because it will turn them gay" they actually mean "I don't want my child to be exposed to LGBTQ+ media because it might help them realize that they're gay".

He never knew.