#While I'm in class so I gotta like set a thing that reminds me to do them when I'm at home too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

male-fictioner · 1 month

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Nerdo! Miguel O'Hara x Gender Neutral Reader Headcanons

Thank You so much @teletwobees for this images. You have greatly inspired me.

Pairing: Nerd!bf!Miguel x gn!reader (no use of any anatomy)

Category: Fluff

Warnings: None (ig)

Word Count: 983

A/n: I reallllly had an inspiration to write this post ever since I saw the drawing, but me being lazy, I didn't. Finally I wrote this!! This is a sfw post. Also I was trying for headcannons but ig i just ended up with a whole ass story

Nerd!Miguel who shared a common class with you where he always noticed you but never had the guts to talk to you.

He liked your personality, how you would always talk to people and joke around but you were not like those people who don't focus on their studies either. You really knew how to do it all.

Nerd!Miguel who was juggling a lot of books in his hands reaching his favorite spot in the library to start studying.

That was when he had his first interaction with you; when you tapped him on his back to hand him a pen he dropped (this made the place even more special) . He had not even realized when he dropped this pen.

All he knew was he liked how your hand felt even on the slightest touch. This is when Nerd!Miguel realized that he had developed a crush on the man who just delivered it back.

The next time, while Nerd!Miguel was going on his favorite seat, it was already occupied by none other than YOU!

Normally he would not have had the courage to ask you move, but he did ask you very politely.

"Miguel, it's just a seat, can't you sit somewhere else?"

"It's just that I can focus there better.' he felt foolish admitting that to someone else.

"Oh of course, I wouldn't want to bother Ace in his studies."

You moved seats saying that and Miguel was a little disappointed that you did not sit next to him.

This disappointment did not last for long as the very next day, you sat right across him.

You were there struggling with the subject that you both had in common and you knew Miguel was literally good in every subject, so after the frustration of not being able to understand it, you asked for his help.

"Um hey Miguel. Can you help me with this topic from economics? I'm really finding it difficult to understand." You said sliding into the seat next to him.

Miguel was so eager to help and he was a really good teacher too which made you understand it very quickly.

After this, you and Miguel became good friends. You would talk to each other in the class. You often times sat besides him and joked around.

One time you guys were joking so much that the professor kicked you out of the class. "You know you are a bad influence for me Y/n" Miguel said after being kicked out.

"Oh live a little Mr. Brainiac. Have you every been kicked out of class before? You gotta experience that once in your life too." you quipped back.

Miguel had to admit that it was a new experience.

Right before your exams, you had convinced Miguel to let you study with him at his dorm. To which he reluctantly agreed to because he couldn't let you know that he in fact enjoyed your company.

That afternoon, you went along to his dorm and studied till the evening, when you asked him if he planned on taking a break, he just grumbled his dissent.

You ended up deciding to get dinner for you both. Miguel was so busy studying, he hardly noticed your absence.

Although when you came back, you made it your business to make sure he notices you with dinner for both of you. Miguel felt so touched because no one had done such a thing for him, except his mother who he was reminded by your act.

"You brought dinner for me?" Miguel asked still a little shocked.

"Of course, you need to eat and also give that big brain of your a rest." you said setting the table for both of you.

Miguel did not believe that he could be more in love with you before, but you just loved proving him wrong about it. He had decided, he will ask you out soon.

After dinner you both went back to your studies. You on the bed and him on his table.

Some time passed and Miguel could not keep his love for you a secret anymore. He turned around to profess his feelings, but all he was met with was your sleeping frame.

You were curled up on the bed sleeping like a baby. He decided his feelings could wait and put a blanket over you so you don't catch a cold and went back to studying.

Next morning, when you woke up, you were well rested but you did not recognize the room you were in. You jolted up when you realized you were in Miguel's room. You were covered in a blanket that smelled like Miguel O'Hara, which you don't remember wrapping when you fell asleep. You look around and find Miguel sleeping on his desk on top all his books. He looked cute.

Right when you were about to keep a note on his desk telling him about how you had to leave, his alarm rang and he jostled from his sleep and looked you right in the eye.

"Good Morning. I was just about to leave." you clarified like a child who was caught stealing cookies.

"Oh, ok." was all he replied rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Before you went out the door, he spoke up again, "Um, Y/n. I was wondering if you would maybe want to go out on a date with me after the exams were over." He said this slowly, not looking directly in your eyes, trying to test the waters.

You stood there by the door astonished by his proposal for a date. After realizing that you had been quite for some time, you replied, "Yea I would really like that actually Miguel." You said this and left his dorm.

Both Y/n and Miguel had a date with their crush and luckily they both liked each other very much.

Also nerdo is nerd in Spanish (according to google)

Well that is it for this part. I might write a Part 2 depending on the response I get from you guys. So hopefully it's positive lol

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tulipsstudyblr · 1 month

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How to Make it Through to the End of the School Year

I myself am pushing through to the end of my spring semester (gotta make it to finals week 😅) and it's rough, for sure. I'm rounding out my junior year of college and it's quickly hitting me that after this, I'll only have one more year left of school (as of right now).

I know I listed in the bio of this blog that there would be advice/study tips and while I am no expert, I can speak from my experience and what has worked for me. DIsclaimer: everyone is different and what I may or may not list here is not a cure-all for everyone, this is just how I stay productive and efficient.

Taking breaks! - I struggle a lot with recognizing my limits and taking healthy breaks so I can work best. Recently, a friend and I have been having outside study times ("picnics") where we sit and do some work and/or color. One evening, we even made chai lattes on the lawn to have while we colored. Personally, I love simple coloring books (like Disney, but I'm currently working in a Bluey book). Also, this past weekend, I made time in between my textbook readings to rewatch a favorite movie of mine, Ella Enchanted. I haven't taken the proper time to watch TV in a while, so it was a nice change of pace.

Properly eating and hydrating - This is also something I struggle with. I understand how easy it is to get hyperfocused and forget about food in the midst of studying. I am thankful to have a girlfriend who will check in on me when she can to make sure my water bottle is filled if I have been busy throughout the day, but I have also set an alarm on my laptop to ding every 20 minutes. I'm using the Google Chrome extension "Water Reminder", which has been super helpful for me! It's not super cutesy and aesthetic like other Chrome extensions, but I like the simple ding that reminds me to drink water in case I haven't in a while. Hearing a reminder to drink water also allows me to check in with myself to see how I'm feeling in terms of hunger. I try to schedule meals times specifically for myself so that I can remember to eat. Some people are really great about intuitive eating, but I am unfortunately not one of those people. Keeping track of the time and keeping meals times at 7:30 - 8:00 am (breakfast), 11:00 am - 12:00 pm (lunch), and 5:00 pm (dinner/supper), I find it easier to keep up with eating so that I can stay healthy and nourished.

Studying - probably a more obvious "tip", but with my own addition. I like to romanticize the idea of studying. I use specifically colored pens, marker, and highlighters to make each of my notes in class and outside of class to keep myself focused. I love things that are artsy and colorful, so using lots of colors keeps my attention on the material.

Self care - I love face masks, body lotion, and moisturizers. I can't afford the super expensive skincare that you see on TIkTok and Instagram, but I have found some products that work well for me. I like the non abrasive Neutrogena face wash, Nivea body lotion (with shea butter - this also helped heal my tattoos!), and peach slices acne patches (my current lifesavers). Freeman is a brand that makes some really good face masks that have worked for my somewhat senstiive skin and they have a good variety so that you can find what you may be looking for you. They're an inexpensive brand (I think) that works pretty well. Even my sister who is into cosmetology and skincare and knows all the nitty gritty details about what ingredients are good recommended the brand to me so I definitely love to use those when I can (no more than twice a week, though; no need to wear down my face)

Get a study buddy - if you're like me and you find it easier to be productive with another body around, see if you can find someone to study with you or to at least hang around you while you work. As I saif before, a friend and I have been having little picnics outside in the nice weather to work, but I have also met up with others in a library space or a study room to keep myself prodcutive. Some days, I am really productive on my own and in my room, but other days, I really need a change of scenery. Being outside of the space where my lovely bed is and having someone else bear witness to how productive or not I am being is certainly a motivator.

I may discover new habits that can help me as I progress through the next month, but as of right now, these are the main things that are helping me.

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jigujellee · 2 years

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THROUGH WITH YU -> karina yu hates your guts and you don't really know why. | read part 2 here!

karina x reader angst word count: 3.8k warnings: there might be a swear word or two, nothing crazy

a/n: wow, another fic in less than 2 weeks? who is she? lol i'm jk but the first part to the karina enemies to lovers college au is here! there's only two parts, so hopefully, i should be able to get it out soon. don't worry, i'm also working on the requests you've all sent me so please look out for those. take care everyone, thanks for reading!

smu was home to numerous intelligent and hard working students who were slowly losing their sanity every day in order to achieve their future. if they weren’t burying their faces in their laptops or textbooks, students were drowning themselves in caffeine as they desperately try to work through the hell known as university. it’s definitely not easy for most, but then there are people like karina who make the university life look so easy.

karina yu graduated from kwangya high as valedictorian and received a full grant scholarship at smu where she is now a biomedical student with a dream to pursue a career in medicine. she also manages to maintain the top spot in the entire school while being the captain of the swim team and balances a part time job. the girl’s credentials are unmatched, you’d think she doesn’t have a social life but no. everybody and their grandmothers know exactly who karina is, and with a god given face, brain, and talent like hers, who wouldn’t be drawn to her? dubbed as the campus goddess, she captures the hearts of anyone who glances her way. karina could care less about the title though. she was nice to everyone she encountered and remained humble despite being treated like royalty at school. so when everyone’s attention is focused on something else, or rather someone else, karina suddenly becomes intrigued.

“alright class, that wraps it up for today. don’t forget, your assignments on DNA mutagenesis are due next Friday so i hope most of you have at least started on it”

as soon as the campus goddess finished typing up her last few notes, she sets a quick reminder for herself to finish the references for the assignment. karina’s work ethic was something every student dreamed to have in a perfect world, hence why it isn’t uncommon for students to ask her for help every now and then. her best friend ningning is a perfect example of these said students.

“so you’re going to help me with my assignment, right?” the blonde says, not even sparing a glance to karina as her eyes remained glued on her phone.

“ning, why do you still have to ask? i’ve been helping you with your assignments since we were in high school. but let me remind you that you’re smart enough to do it on your own. maybe if you spent less time on your phone, you would’ve gotten it done early”

“thanks for the ted talk but you know i gotta stay updated with the tea around here”

“right, so what’s new gossip girl hm?”

“well, jeno recently got injured after their last basketball game so he’s sitting out for the next few. then there’s yeji and ryujin who got into a pretty nasty fight and people are saying they still haven’t talked it out”

“isn’t it gonna be their 3 year anniversary in a few weeks? i hope they resolve things soon”

“well well well, would you look at that? seems like someone is fairly updated too” ningning chuckles and finally tears her eyes away from the phone to find karina putting her stuff away into a tote bag.

“you live and breathe tea and drama, and unfortunately, i’m the only one who has to hear all of it since i’m pretty much the only friend you have,” karina jokes.

“you make me laugh miss yu,” her best friend says dryly as rolls her eyes and continues to scroll through her phone once more. “oh, and there’s a new student coming in today. apparently they’re coming all the way from canada,” ningning turns off her phone and grabs her bag before sticking her arm out so that karina could link arms with her. the latter didn’t care much about the new transferee, not with her empty stomach practically ringing in her ears.

“yeah yeah whatever, let’s go grab lunch. i’m starving” she links her arms with ningning and the two make their way to the campus cafeteria.

they were greeted with crowds of students, which wasn’t a new sight to the two. almost all of campus knew karina ate in the cafeteria during lunch so they would always have an audience as they ate in peace. what was surprising to karina was that the students weren’t swooning over her like they usually do. instead, they were running right past her and making their way to the table where karina and ningning usually sat. confused, karina looks over at her best friend.

“why is everyone rushing to get over there? we’re not even there yet”

“you think i would know? i was beside you this entire time. but it looks like someone is sitting there already, i can’t see who it is though”

a girl in front of the two overhears their conversation before realizing who it was and immediately moves out of the way to let them pass. everyone else followed suit and the two manage to get a clear view of who was causing such a big crowd. they walk towards the table, but even as they get closer, they are unable to put a name to the face sitting in their usual spot.

as soon as they approached the unfamiliar person, ningning doesn’t hesitate to speak, “hi! i’m ningning and this is my friend karina!” the purple haired girl’s eyes widened at her friend’s sudden introduction, but not wanting to be rude, she just smiled and gave a small wave.

“hello! i’m y/n, it’s nice to meet you both” you say with a big smile plastered on your face.

“ah! you’re the new student, right? from canada?” you eagerly nod your head and continue to answer ningning’s never ending questions about your home country. meanwhile, the girl beside her stayed silent and just stared at you. you couldn’t tell what she was feeling, her face remaining stoic the entire time you were talking with her friend. you open your mouth to address her and try to include her in the conversation, but another student calls your name and invites you to eat lunch with them.

“karina and ningning usually sit here, so just sit with us for lunch” the student then whispered in your ear. you look back at the two girls and realize that they’ve been standing this entire time, so you immediately get up and allow them to sit at their respective table.

“well i’d be glad to answer your questions about canada some other time ning,” you chuckle. “i hope to see you both around more! sorry about taking your seat,” you say as your gaze lands on karina, who just quickly bows her head out of respect before taking a seat at the spot you were just in. ningning quickly hands you her phone for you to put your number in before letting you go. as you leave, you turn to take a look at the purple haired girl one more time.

you now understood why she was called the campus goddess.

funnily enough, the campus goddess wanted nothing to do with greek gods and goddesses, or any greek mythology in general. she hated history classes. the only reason she was taking it is because she needed an elective that wasn’t related to her major, so she chose ancient greek mythology and apparently, it was a really easy course. but even if this course was super easy, she got bored so easily. it was the only class that she rarely paid attention in and it made her want to fall asleep.

it doesn’t help that this class was a dreaded 3 hours of her professor going on and on about information that had nothing to do with what karina wanted to do with the rest of her life. oftentimes, her thoughts loved to wander off during class, and to her surprise, you are the one currently taking up space in her mind. karina couldn’t help but think about your smile, your dark brown eyes, your soft voice, the way your hair sat perfectly against-

“miss yu?” karina shakes her head and brings herself back to reality. was i really just thinking of the new student just now?

“sorry sir, what were you saying?”

“i asked which two groups fought during the battle of cynoscephalae?”

karina couldn’t bring herself to answer. she should know this, she did her readings on it so why couldn’t she remember? oh right, because some new girl was distracting her, that’s why.

“it was fought between the romans and the antigonids,” you spoke up after minutes of silence from karina. she looked back in shock, finding you three rows behind her. great, the person who’s been wrecking my train of thought is also in the same class as me.

you shoot her a wink with a smile, causing karina to immediately turn back around to the front, hoping you wouldn’t see her cheeks heating up out of embarrassment.

“that’s correct y/n, thank you. pay more attention karina, this isn’t like you”

“yes sir, it won’t happen again” karina sinks into her seat and groans internally for letting herself get distracted and embarrassing herself in front of you… and the class.

and now, she despised you for making her feel this way and decided that she wanted nothing to do with you.

so any attempt you made in trying to be her friend, whether it be buying her snacks, coffee, cup noodles, and even a whole cake, or trying to follow her on instagram and her other socials, karina shut all of it down. she couldn’t afford to be embarrassed like that anymore and she tried her best to avoid you, but she quickly learned that you were stubborn and you weren’t going to stop until you two were at least acquaintances.

“hi karina! i grabbed you a triangle kimbap and a choco pie in case you were hungry,” you hold out the snacks in front of her, hoping she’ll actually take them this time. but as usual, she just stares at them and her hands remain still by her side.

her eyes shift from your hands to your own eyes, and you could feel a bitter coldness being emitted from her dark brown orbs. “i’m going to make this very clear, y/n. i do not care who you are or where you came from, but i do not need you around me. buying me snacks is not going to get me to be friends with you, so drop the act. we are never going to be friends,” she says, words hitting you like a knife. your hands that are filled with snacks drop to your side as you watch the campus goddess walk away from you. from that moment on, you do your best to avoid her, hoping that you are finally giving her something she actually wants.

it’s only 9 in the morning, and karina is already having a horrible day.

“what? what do you mean i’m failing? that’s nearly impossible-”

“calm down karina, you’re not behind by much. with a little tutoring and some catch up assignments, you’ll be able to bring your grade up in no time,” her english professor says.

karina huffs in frustration. how could this happen? she swore she handed in all her essays on time and they were all done very well, so she had no idea how could she be failing the class.

“i asked the student who will tutor you to come in today so that i could introduce you two,” and as if on cue, there was a knock on the door.

“perfect timing. come in!”

karina doesn’t bother turning around to see who it was, still trying to rack her brain over how she could possibly be doing badly in english class.

“you wanted to see me professor lee?”

the purple haired girl’s eyes widened and her mouth falls slightly agape. she didn’t need to look at who it was; the voice said it all.

“thank you for coming, y/n! i wanted to introduce you to karina, have you met before?”

“yes, we share a few classes together” you say dryly.

you were aware that you had to tutor someone, but you didn’t know it’d be her. from where you were standing, you could see that she didn’t want to be in this setup either. she was avoiding your presence, putting all her attention onto the stack of papers on the professor’s desk and studying it as if it were the most intriguing thing in the world right now.

“with all due respect professor lee, i’m sure there are a number of other students who would be willing to help karina out. not to mention countless other students who speak english at a much higher level than i do, such as aeri, chaeyoung, jennie, yunjin, jisu, seungkwan.. need i list more?”

for the first time since entering the office, karina looks at you with a confused expression; she didn’t expect you to turn the opportunity down, not after all the nice things you’ve done for her just to be her friend. your focus remains on the professor as you wait for a reply, ignoring the other girl beside you who was trying to figure you out, the stack of papers on the desk now long forgotten.

“nonsense y/n, what better way to learn english than from someone who’s just transferred from canada? besides, english is your first language, correct?” you nod your head, unable to lie because the records were right there in front of the prof.

“then it’s settled! think of it as a way to get closer to one another. karina, i promise you won’t regret this and your grade will improve in no time! you two are dismissed, i’ll see you both on wednesday”

both of you bow your heads, and karina is the first one to get up and leave. you follow suit, rolling your eyes once you’re at the door because she didn’t even have the courtesy to hold it open for you. once you’re both outside of professor lee’s office, you’re about to retreat to your own dorm but karina stops you.

“hey”

you say nothing and just turn to look at her, waiting for her to continue what she wanted to say.

“2pm tomorrow at the library. don’t be late,” she says sternly.

with no ounce of emotion on your face, you turn around and leave the purple haired girl standing in front of the prof’s office.

you hoped this tutoring session will go somewhat smoothly.

no, it’s not going smoothly.

karina was the one who said not to be late, yet she’s the one who came almost 20 minutes late. she blamed it on ningning for asking her to accompany her while she talks to one of their other professors.

and now, karina hasn’t spoken a word to you since she got here. she didn’t bother asking for any clarification or any questions and just began working on her assignment, but you couldn’t care less. if she didn’t want to fix her grade, then so be it. you allowed yourself to enjoy this quiet time by catching up on your favourite book, but unfortunately, it doesn’t last long.

“here, check this for me”

you scan the paragraph writing assignment she had to do. with a pencil, you lightly circled her mistakes and even wrote down some comments on things that could be improved. when you hand it back to her, you watch as her eyes scan over the paper and she huffs in frustration. you continue to watch the campus goddess scribble onto her paper, erasing and rewriting things every other second. your eyes move to the paper and you notice her making the same mistake again.

“you did the same thing aga-”

“shut up, i got it” but even after she erases it, she does it again. this time, she realizes what she wrote.

“not a word, y/n”

“rina look, i just-”

“first of all, do not call me that. we’re not close, okay? and second, i don’t care that you were asked to help me. i just need to pass english and then i’m through with you,” without missing a beat, she continues writing her assignment.

you won’t lie, it hurt whenever karina dismissed you like that. you don’t even understand why she hated you so much. was it because you answered for her in class? or was it because you stole her seat on the first day? whatever it was, it still hurt. but if she was going to be like this towards you, then you figured you should be the same back.

and that’s how the rest of your tutoring sessions go. you both arrive at the library, not uttering a single word to each other. you immerse yourself in your book or in other school work, and you only say something if karina asks you. as you meet up more and more, however, you notice karina is slowly starting to ask more questions and actually initiate conversation but you always gave her a dry reply, not even bothering to look up at her as you answer. why should you? you were just here to help her.

after one of your tutoring sessions, you were walking back to your dorm when you suddenly receive a phone call. the caller ID was enough to make you decline the call, but you answer it anyway. you don’t bother saying hello, and just wait for the other party to say something.

“not even a hello? wow, who do you think you are?”

“what do you want?”

“jeez, what’s gotten into you? i just called to check up on you”

“i never asked you to check on me”

“god, you’re unbelievable. you should be thankful i’m even checking up on you even after what you did to your-”

“stop trying to act like my mother. you are not her and you will never be her, so just shut up and leave me alone,” you angrily say as you hang up, not letting her get a response in. you shove your phone back into your pocket and stormed off to your dorm, but you don’t notice the girl behind you who heard everything.

she didn’t mean to eavesdrop. if anything, she blames you for stopping in the middle of the hallway and answering the call, and even putting it on speaker phone. but she heard it either way, whether she wanted to or not. karina watched as you stomped away and she felt a heavy feeling in her chest - it was guilt. she’s been rude to you all this time when all you wanted was to be her friend. you even agreed to tutor her (though it was pretty much forced) and she was still acting like such a bitch to you. but after hearing the conversation, she couldn’t help but feel sad. she didn’t have the best relationship with her mom either, so in a way, she kind of related to you. she starts thinking that maybe you weren’t so bad after all.

a few more tutoring sessions and three assignments later, karina manages to get her grade back up. once she hears the good news from professor lee, she immediately goes to find you.

“y/n!”

you turn around to find an ecstatic and smiley purple haired goddess coming your way. she crashes into you and wraps her arms around you, but you just stand there and look straight ahead, leaving your arms glued to your side.

she finally lets go of you after what seemed like minutes of hugging, and she shoves a paper in front of your face.

“look! i got my grade back up, and it’s all thanks to you!”

“good. now we can go our separate ways,” you try to walk pass her, but she grabs your arm to stop you.

“wait! let me treat you to something to eat! as a thank you for helping me”

“i’ll pass,” and you try to walk by her again. she doesn’t stop you this time, but she starts following you instead.

“how about tomorrow? or next week? i’m free whenever, just let me kn-”

“what’s your deal, hm? why are you so nice to me all of a sudden? just because you got your grade up or what?”

karina’s smile fades and a nervous expression appears on her face, scared to tell you why she was acting this way. she fidgets with the paper in her hand, avoiding your gaze and biting her bottom lip.

“so what do you want?” you ask, trying to get an answer out of her.

“i..” she starts. “i overheard your phone call with your mom. i didn’t mean to, it’s just you were right there and you even put it on speaker phone so i just happened to hear everything..” you say nothing, and you wait for her to continue.

“i feel bad for how i’ve treated you all this time. the truth is, i get it. i know what you’re going through, and it’s okay to-”

“stop,” karina looks at you, and she looks scared but she’s not scared that you were angry, she knew you’re probably pissed at her. what was scaring her is the lack of emotion you were showing. she wanted you to scream at her, to cuss her out for being such a bitch, but instead you’re as calm as ever and it terrifies her to her core.

“she’s not my mother. that was my stepmom who tries way too hard to be my mother,” you say calmly. you start making your way to her, making sure that she hears what you have to say next loud and clear. once you're right in front of her, you continue.

“don’t act like you fucking know me just after hearing one phone call. if you’re being nice to me because you feel bad for me, then just save it. i don’t need your pity and i don’t need you around, got it? i’m through with you” you’re close enough to feel her breath on your lips, but you back away as soon as you’re done talking to her and you leave her in the middle of the hall with people were staring, but you didn’t care. you didn’t need karina or her pity, and the campus goddess got that message loud and clear. but it still hurt her. it hurt enough to make tears fall from her eyes, and karina rarely ever cries. she wipes away whatever tears were on her cheek and starts making her way to meet with ningning.

karina didn't want you to be through with her, but she deserved it. especially since she's the one who said it first.

#kpop scenarios #girl group scenarios #kpop imagines #gg scenarios #gg imagines #aespa #aespa karina #karina yu #yu jimin #karina angst #karina scenarios #karina imagines

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eponymous-rose · 7 months

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A full day today, so I figured it might be fun to write up what a professor's day might look like when not lecturing!

6:30AM: Got up early to virtually attend a friend's wedding on the East Coast! <333

8:00AM: I have been very careful this quarter to shuffle lectures/meetings around so that I have a little time to myself in the mornings to sit at home and drink coffee and eat breakfast and pet a cat while I get the day's work started. No exception today! I pull up an application my PhD student has been putting together for a tech grant and use the proverbial red pen to make some (a lot of) comments. It looks good overall, though! I send him a note to encourage him to send it to our collaborator in the computer science department when he's done with edits. Monday's the deadline, we gotta get moving on this.

9:00AM: I load up a bag with books I keep putting off taking to my office, plus some extra Halloween candy I found to add to my office candy bowl, and head out to take the bus in to campus. Also, pet the cat goodbye (she is unconcerned).

9:45AM: At the office, books and candy put away! Time to prep for my first meeting, which is a committee meeting with someone else's PhD student. He struggled a bit with a recent exam (entirely his advisor's fault, but that's a different story), so we're reconvening as a group to see his progress and cheer him on. He sent an update document, so I run through that and take a few notes. Then it's responding to e-mails (setting up my participation in a federal review panel next year, responding to two prospective graduate students interested in working with me - the combo of a fun research topic and a beautiful campus means I'm now up to 20 inquiries so far this quarter, eep - and sending out an update to the department about the charitable giving opportunities I'm coordinating).

10:30AM: Great presentation by the PhD student about all the things he's done since our last meeting back in April-ish. He's made huge changes to his work, and we applaud (literally and figuratively) how much he's accomplished in such a short time. Also, amazing data visualization! Great work all around. He's set to defend his PhD by 2025 at this rate, definitely back on track.

11:30AM: Time to rush back to my office to meet with my own PhD student! We usually meet on Fridays, but we get tomorrow off for the holiday so we jumped the meeting back. He's a few minutes late due to a missed bus, so my next-door colleague and I talk about cats for a few minutes. As you do. When he does arrive, he's got some cool stuff to show me - we talk about the notes I made on his grant application, and I remind him (and myself) to book flights to a conference in December that is rapidly approaching somehow. (I guess this means I have to do some cool and innovative research before then that I can talk about. Go figure.) He also shows me some cool preliminary results from a project he's been doing with a friend out in Pennsylvania. He's late enough in his PhD that my role as advisor is primarily to get out of his way and make sure he has enough supercomputer core-hours to get his work done!

12:30PM: A break for me! I start in on e-mail again, sending a coordinator my bio and abstract for a talk I've been invited to give (virtually, thankfully) at a student conference in January. I also realize that, because of the break tomorrow, I should really put together a homework assignment and next week's lectures for the class I teach Monday-Wednesday-Friday. Hmmm. I dig through last year's lectures and assignments and realize they've gotten a little out of sync this year. The solution? I may just offer 5 instead of 6 assignments over these ten weeks and give them this one a week later. Class average has been extremely high on them, and I think the students will appreciate a bit of a break. Also means today's job is just to prepare a few lectures based on last year's material. I've got a big chunk of open time later this afternoon to deal with course stuff, so back to e-mail. Going to be joining a friend (who I can't help but think of as the undergrad who sat in during all my grad classes, but is now somehow a full research scientist) on a very cool project putting together a new thunderstorm dataset. Also reached out to another friend about setting up biweekly meetings to hopefully start a new research collaboration and... possibly some fieldwork! I also almost forgot to put a forecast together for our forecasting competition, but I got there in time. Phew.

1:30PM: Meeting with a colleague and the undergrad research intern we co-supervise who is sadly having to leave to go attend school closer to home. This meeting is mostly just us reinforcing to her that we're still here if she needs advice/reference letters or ever wants to work on a similar project with us remotely in the future, but we are going to continue with the research until the end of the quarter, at her request. After the meeting, I get an e-mail about another undergraduate looking for a research project! I present her with the options of a cool lightning project with my colleague next door (waiting to hear back about federal funding for that project, fingers crossed) and that other cool thunderstorm project led by my friend in Oklahoma.

2:30PM: Seminar time! A very cool freshly-minted PhD from California tells us all about her research, a complicated topic about which I knew very little going in and now know... slightly more. There was a very geeky moment in which she showed what happened to a particular part of the climate system when CO2 was added, then showed what happened when CO2 was removed, and the asymmetry of it made everyone in the room gasp and then self-consciously giggle.

4:00PM: Post-seminar snacks acquired (a big cookie and coffee are definitely a good late lunch, right? I kid, I kid, I had a big breakfast and have a big dinner waiting at home) and small-talk survived, I scramble back up to my office. Time to get those lectures ready for next week (pretty quick to do - rather than last year, where I'd show the code on the screen and we'd talk about it, I'm having us write the code together live and debug as we go; harder in the moment for me, but the students are learning so much better!). Get an e-mail back from the new undergrad research intern expressing interest in the lightning project, amazing! Time to get her registered so she gets credit for this starting in January. Also finally get a teensy bit more editing done on a draft of a review article that one of the top scientific journals in the world tapped me to write (???? still surreal beyond measure).

5:30PM: BAND PRACTICE. Our department is so nerdy that the faculty/staff/postdocs/grad students put together a giant band to perform popular songs but as covers so we can make the lyrics about our nerdy research. This tradition has been going on for 30+ years, and the big performance is for an hour at our holiday party every year. It's a riot, and this is my first year joining in the chaos (I'm on keys on three songs!). There are like 25 of us, we have a horn section, a professor plays the mandolin, the students create elaborate musical roasts of their professors, it's great. My parts go great, to the point where when there's some trouble with key drift during an a capella part they call me in to play chords under it and keep them grounded. I love playing music with other people!

7:00PM: Time to pack up and head home for dinner. Phew.

Long day, but also LONG WEEKEND BAYBEE. I don't actually have to do any substantial work this weekend, so that means BALDUR'S GATE WEEKEND BAYBEE.

#eponymous academia tag #long text post

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yuunemi · 2 years

Text

This Thing Called Stupid Little Crush

PAIRING : MICHAEL KAISER X FEM!READER

GENRE : HURT COMFORT-ISH, SELF-SETTING AU!

C/W : IT’S A SELFSHIP-ISH

LIBRARIAN’S NOTE/S : so this is based on my feelings so it’s kind of a selfship but it still refers to “Y/n” and it’s in 2nd pov since im much more used to it. and this is my first ever self based fanfic so “self setting au” means, a mix of my world and my fantasy so some things might not make any sense. kaiser def has to be my bias wrecker or some sort bc i cant help but love this jerk :D

NOTES & REBLOGS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED ^^

A sigh yet again escaped your lips. “Just what do you see in him?!” Your friend, Paige, asks, “I don’t know either!!” You exclaimed at her. “Please! If I could uncrush him, I would! BUT I CAN’T and I’m so frustrated.” You whined while looking at your crush, who happens to be sitting very close to his female friend, Fiona.

“Bestie, there’s a lot of fish in the sea, you gotta let him go.” Your other friend, Jace, chimes in. “I know! Please, I hate how they look so good together.” You answered, murmuring the last part. Right, at this point, she’s not even a close female friend. They both have this mutual understanding that you won’t ever be able to share with him.

Whenever people ask the questions like, "Why do you like him?" "Why him?" "What do you see in him?", You could never give them a straight concrete answer. You, yourself don't even know the answer.

Perhaps it was the fact that he could tolerate you so much or the fact that he was such a gentleman, always remembering your presence whenever your other friends don’t, or maybe it was the fact that he’d always help you out and always invite you to play with them. “ARGH! I DON’T KNOW ANYMORE!” You shouted, earning everyone’s attention in class,

“Okay, chill out. You don’t need to shout.” Your other friend, Liam, reminds, “Well, I’m sorry for having a loud voice.” You sarcastically apologized. “I was just saying, you don’t need to get mad.” He told you, “I—You know what? Forget it, I’ll just shut up.” You said before slumping down on your chair then everyone in class just resumed doing their own thing while Paige and Jace decided to head elsewhere.

“Aww, what’s gotten you so worked up~?” A voice chimed in, a voice you know all too well. “Leave me alone, Kaiser.” You grumbled while glaring at him. He looks at you then scans around the classroom then back at you. “Ahh, I see what’s bothering you.” Kaiser said while smirking at you.

"Go bother someone else, Kaiser." You said, facing away from his direction. "You look so lonely though, everyone's around someone, then there's you~." He continued to tease, "Come on, Kaiser, I'm not in the mood to play your games." You replied, hoping the soccer player would stop bothering you.

Heaving a sigh, "Alright princess, I will leave you alone, but don't try to beat up yourself over some stupid little crush." He paused, "Wouldn't want the only girl to match up to me, be so weak over a not-so-worthy guy." He continued, arrogance and vain evident in his tone while you only rolled your eyes at his response.

"You mean the girl, you just can't seem to stop bothering and annoying." You muttered right after he left to go to his own group of friends.

With each day passing, Mason and Fiona grew closer, it hurt. So you distanced yourself but it didn't even need as much effort as you thought it'd need because they and your 'friends' also distanced themselves from you.

You don't even know what hurt more, your crush being with someone else or the fact that your friends distanced themselves from you, and to be honest you also don't wanna know the answer to that question.

With that being said, you ended up hanging out with Kaiser's group more often. You don't know why but somehow, Kaiser just knows when to swoop in and annoy you whenever you're alone.

It eventually became a norm, your day wouldn't be complete without him annoying and teasing you to death.

"Hey, Y/n, admit it. You're starting to catch feelings for Kaiser~~." Ness said in a sing-song voice while feinting innocence. "Excuse me?! WHAT?! Him? No way, as if!" You exclaimed while your heart was beating as fast as the speed of light.

"Bingo~ Admit it, Y/n. You're starting to like him." Ness said, "It's okay, there's nothing to be ashamed of, Y/n. Between you and me, I'm pretty sure Kaiser has caught feelings for you too." He continued, all the while feinting his innocent face.

"You're not fooling me Ness, not me." You replied while shaking your head. "Aww~~ then that makes things easier for me, Y/n." An all too familiar voice said. Swiftly turning your head in the voice's direction. You were met with his blue eyes, his proximity to your face was so near that one push could've made your lips kiss.

The both of you were in a trance, but it was immediately cut off by a scream "Masonn!!" looking in their direction, "Give me back my phoneee!" Fiona exclaimed which was yet again followed by the others' laughs and giggles while they passed her phone around.

You wouldn't know but when Kaiser turned back to look at you. He could see hurt written all over your eyes, not that you'd admit it to be true even if he were to mention it.

"Tsk. We can do better than that." Kaiser teased, "Huh?" You turned to him. Giving you a quick peck on your forehead, he takes your glasses and walks off. "What? Hey Kaiser!! Give me-ugh-hey! Get back hereee!" You exclaimed while trying to chase him and Ness is just there laughing at you

"Ness! Why are you laughing? help me!" You exclaimed, "And why would I?" Ness innocently asked. "Ughh, forget it." You answered before chasing Kaiser.

"Michael Kaiser, give me back my glasses!" You commanded, glaring daggers at him. "Aww~ sure thing, under one condition." He teased, "And what condition is that?" You inquired. "Oh it's simple really, I just want you to come and watch me defeat the other school at soccer." He answered, "Now, when is the game?" You asked. "This Saturday."

"That's it? Then I'll go, you didn't have to steal my glasses for that, you jerk head." You said while Kaiser simply donned his all-knowing smirk and gave your glasses back. "I forgot to mention, you'll have to wear this while watching me play." He said before tossing one of his jerseys to you.

Giving him a dumb-founded look, he continued, "Don't worry, that's fresh from the laundry. It's extra of our new jersey so I haven't worn it yet." Upon Kaiser's exit, the class was suddenly filled with sounds of "Ooh~"s, teasings, and whistles of the class. Looks like you have a game to attend this Saturday then.

!! DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE ELSE !! THIS IS THE PROPERTY OF YUUNEMI !! IT DOESN’T CLAIM TO OWN THE CHARACTERS THAT BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS !!

#yuu’s self ships☆#michael kaiser x reader #blue lock x reader

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alexx013 · 1 year

Text

Platonic (could be interpreted as romantic) Mammon X Reader

Also a bit of platonic Luke X Reader

Angst🌧️ -> Comfort⛅ (-> Chaos🌪️)

TW: academic validation, school sucks, MC has daddy issues

Word count: 823

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A/N: Hii, it's my first post here. Hope you like it

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When life on Earth was a hard task, the one with the seven Princes of Hell in Devildom isn't much easier. Not only does the RAD have very high expectations for its students, so you often found yourself barely getting any sleep just to finish some tasks and study, but the brothers are a pain.

Their constant bickering, calling each other names and then coming to you for reassurance or to get things of their shoulders was tiring. Between Lucifer complaining about the others driving him crazy, Asmodeus being insecure about his looks, and Mammon just wanting comfort and few nice words coming from you, you barely found time for bettering your own mental health. You loved them dearly, but being the therapist friend and feeling good about yourself almost never worked together.

One day the teacher gave back the tests you spent ages studying for. You felt pretty confident about getting an okay-ish grade, but when the teacher put the white as snow paper with the red like blood marks you felt as if a knot was tightening in your stomach. Even after studying so much you.. didn't pass. You quickly pinched the bridge of your nose to avoid any tears forming in your eyes and started counting the points, maybe the teacher made a mistake? They didn't, you really didn't pass.

Before you could get of out the class and go home, since it was your last the teacher told you to stay in class for a bit longer. Once everyone left they sat at their desk and with a disappointed look said:

"You didn't pass, I'm very disappointed. You should have studied more".

You quickly left the building and made your way towards HoL, wanting to barricade yourself in your room as quickly as possible.

You locked the door and jumped on the wooden bed with grey duvets, finally feeling safe in the closed space of your room. You left a few sniffles, as the words said by your teacher lingered in your memories. They reminded you of your dad, never showing any signs of being proud, yet always nitpicking every mistake you made.

Tears started forming in your eyes as you tried to muffle your voice by covering your mouth with a hand. You whispered:

"Haven't I given enough?"

to yourself as tears started streaming down your cheeks and started gathering on the pillow. You held your duvet tighter, as if was the only form of comfort you believed you deserved. You heard voices in your head and they were laughing at you:

"You're such a failure. You never can do anything right. You don't deserve anyone"

But before you could do anything about them you heard a song coming from your phone. It seems that someone was calling you. You quickly wiped away your tears, not wanting to ruin the facade of feeling fine even for yourself and looked at the screen. It was Luke. You answered and with your hoarse voice said:

- Yes Luke?

- MC, are you sick? You don't sound the best. Hold on for a while - the angel anwsered as he ended the call

Not so long after that, you heard a knock on your door. You staggered towards it thinking if you should open it, when you heard Mams voice:

- MC, Luke told me ya are sick. Why didn't ya tell me. I've got some tea and meds.

You unlocked the doors and opened them, so that the white haired demon could walk in. He set the things he was holding on your night table, then walking over to you. He gently patted your head saying: "You gotta take better care of yourself. Are you okay?"

That last sentence was too much for you. Tears started pouring out of your eyes as you hugged the demon tightly, to hide them. He was surprised at first from the sudden action, but then started softly stroking your back. He whispered: "Do ya wanna talk about it?", not wanting to startle you. When you shook your head, he asked again "How 'bout cuddles, and a little nap?", which to you agreed.

He laid on your bed, opening his arms so that he could embrace you later on. You joined him, nuzzling your face in the crook of his neck as his arms wrapped around you. Your eyes started getting heavy and both of you started falling asleep accompanied by the sound of each other's heartbeat.

Extra ending:

You heard a loud knock on your door, stirring you awake. But before you could get up and do anything the door was kicked down. A certain demon with orange hair appeared in your room and asked:

- Do you have any snacks in your room? I'm hungry.

You laid there dumbfounded. Beel decided to leave the room but then a small blonde hair angel barged in yelling:

- I CAME HERE TO THE RESCUE... oh.. um, is it a bad time?

Luke ran out of your room as quickly as he could. You looked at Avatar of Greed peacefully sleeping beside you. In pure disbelief you said:

- How tf aren't you awake by now?

#mammon #mammon x reader #mammon x y/n #luke x reader #obey me #mammon obey me #obey me chaos #mammon x mc #mammon x you #mc obey me

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limeade-l3sbian · 10 months

Note

I made the decision to go back to uni at 22 and honestly I'm so glad I did.

I was terrified of being the oldest one in class and whatnot but honestly I just don't care anymore, I figured we're all gonna be a bit nervous during our first week because we all have our fears and this is just mine.

I always tend to overthink and kind of like overplan, but I was like you know what, just go to uni, you picked a major you sorta liked, If you don't like it you can switch, and you don't have to work in the field you got your degree in if you change your mind.

Like I always have to remind myself that nothing is set in stone, like don't get me wrong actions do have consequences like yeah ofc, but at the same time don't be paralyzed like you don't gotta have 100% certainty of where your life is gonna go or what you're planning on doing.

Just make a plan that has the least amount of cons and go from there. And that's what I did.

I'm starting as a 1st year but I'm so glad I went back, I feel so honestly grateful I get to have my ideas challenged, be around like minded people, get to study maths and physics again. It just feels good to feel liek you're contributing to something ya know.

And if anyone's hesitating and like if you have the same mindset as me, I can promise you none of us have everything figured out and I'm not trying to be a motivational instagram speaker or whatver, I think it's good to have a sense of direction and aspirations, but when it comes to the details and nitty gritty you'll figure it out. Don't stay stuck trying to figure things while life passes you by.

Anyway, I'm glad i did it. I was full of fear and doubts but now I'm scared and excited too.

YES I LOVE IT! CONGRATS ANON! <3 <3 <3

#ask

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robo-drake09 · 9 months

Text

Brawl Stars ☆ BeaRosa Short Fic ☆ Monster Academy AU

「 ✦ 1244 Words ✦ 」

Pining sillies who are just gals being pals (not romance quite yet, but just a charming little story of the two of them interacting in this AU!)

Bea is a Biology Major, while Rosa is only pursuing Botany on the side (for now. She later decided to study it fully after some thought.)

˚ʚ☆ɞ˚

"Hey, honeycomb."

Bea jolted awake, her wings suddenly fluttering fast enough to take off. If she hadn't been sitting down, she definitely would’ve gone straight through the ceiling. Instead, her knee hit the bottom of the desk, earning her a yelp, and quite possibly a bruise later. She looked up to see the cheer captain herself, holding two cups from the campus cafe. Rosa looked down at her with that warm smile she liked so much, gesturing to the cups.

"Fancy a cuppa?"

"Oh! Thank you...." Bea nodded, smiling up at her. She looked around, remembering her current setting. One of the many hidden little study areas for the students of the academy. There were just a few around here, but that was just how she liked it.

"And, good afternoon Rosa. I didn't know you had class today," the biology major greeted.

To be woken up by Rosa without any notice… she may as well have just flown off and out the window. It was embarrassing, really, she wasn't prepared at all! Now that she finally saw the cheer captain properly, it was curious that she was wearing the school’s gym uniforms. She didn’t recall her having a fitness class on this day. She had her bag over her shoulder as well, filled to the brim with what she could only assume was equipment.

Rosa stared at her, before laughing softly and setting down the cups carefully on the side.

"Afternoon? It's half past six, mate. It's evening by now."

"What?!" Her antenna stuck straight up, before she clasped her hands over her mouth, remembering they were in the quiet study area. Some murmurs from students around her, followed by slight glances to the two women, before focusing back on their work. "What do you mean six?” Surely it was just a joke on Rosa's part, right? “It was just two when I..."

Rosa hushed another light laugh, taking a seat next to Bea, crossing one leg over the other. "You might've missed ya alarms then... no wonder you didn't pick up when I called ya phone," she picked up her cup, taking a sip.

"It seems so."

"Good thing you didn't have classes this afternoon. Woulda been late if I hadn't gone looking."

Bea nodded, sighing as she looked at the desk she had fallen asleep at. Her books were still open, thankfully no vandalism or thefts as far as she could tell. She put a lavender bookmark in between the pages of the larger textbook, closing it carefully before she put it away in her bag.

"Been up studyin’ again?" Rosa asked, earning an answer with a tiny buzz of confirmation. It wasn’t a new thing where Bea would fall asleep while studying, especially during weeks like this where all nighters were more common.

"You gotta be careful though, remember what happened that one time you fell asleep in the library."

Bea shuddered at the thought, shaking her hand to dismiss the unwelcome memories, "please, don't remind me. I'm actively trying to forget that whole event."

She picked up the cup, taking a sip of the lovely drink her dear friend had brought her. Rosa always knew her order, honeydrop earl grey tea, four added sugarcubes, a swirl of vanilla syrup, and topped with just that perfect squeeze of lemon. It was just amazing that Rosa knew her order down to a T, and on top of that, the fact that she found her here of all places. Speaking of...

"How did you know I was here?" Bea asked, setting down the cup. Rosa set down hers next to her, leaning back in the chair.

"Called you a few times to see if we were still meeting up today, but you didn't answer."

Rosa tapped her cup with her finger, looking at her. Bea blinked in confusion, taking out her phone to see it had been entirely set to silent. On top of that, sixteen missed calls from the cheerleader. Her face reddened, finally realizing.

"Oh."

She missed that many calls from Rosa.

"...oh."

The Rosa.

The same Rosa she had promised to go out with this very same day. The same day she'd foolishly fallen asleep at some desk in the middle of the school.

"We were meeting at the cafe today! I'm so sorry, the time passed me by! You were there for ho—" Rosa ruffled her hair, making the shorter lady stop talking.

"Oi, let me finish! I'm not blaming you or anything."

Rosa's hand remained in Bea’s hair. She had leaned closer to do so, just hovering above her head. Now she could see, very closely she might add, that her hair was a lovely orange, kinda goldish colour, like honey itself. A golden crown atop her head. The curls bounced back as she gave her each pat. Bea had closed her eyes with the pats too.

Rosa pulled back her hand quickly after, fixing her glasses as she fixed herself in her chair.

"It's alright mate, I called so much since I was running late too..." She admitted, scratching the horn on her forehead with one of her nails, a habit she’s picked up when she felt embarrassed. Bea would never comment on it though. How could she, since she did the same in some situations. In all honesty, it was hard to tell which one did it first before the other copied it.

"I figured you got busy somewhere, since the last thing you sent was that you were studying somewhere on campus. So, I went around checking the usual spots you study at. Couldn’t let the drinks get cold, right? Lucky you were in the first few places I checked, or I woulda been here all night."

Bea couldn't help but giggle at the thought of Rosa jogging about the school trying to find her. Mind you, the place is buzzingly big! It was a miracle she'd found her. She'd rather her out of anyone to be the one to wake her up though, and with tea as well? What a lovely, very good friend she was.

"Bea?" The question snapping her back to the moment at hand.

"Oh, yes. Thank you, again, for bringing the drink. It was very sweet of you," Bea said, her warm smile beaming like golden treasure.

Rosa met her eyes for just a moment, before brushing it off with a wave. The cheerleader smiled widely, only growing at Bea's words. The boundless glow of her cheery voice always felt different. Comfortable, one could say.

"Don't worry about it, honeycomb. Now, hm...can you tell me about what you were studyin? You know it helps to see how much you even remember, can’t let all that time go to waste." She suggested, turning in the chair to face her.

Bea's face lit up, the flow of thoughts rushing in as she started to carefully explain everything. Her wings occasionally flapped with each new subject, a very gentle breeze blowing by each time. For Bea, Rosa was just the perfect listener, giving questions after each fact and piece of information that allowed Bea to email all the necessary details of the topic. Rosa leaned closer in her seat, making sure she truly took in all the information as well.

In Rosa’s honest opinion, Bea did a wonderful job of explaining a topic, you know. Perhaps a bit too much to some, but it was all welcome for Rosa. Always would be.

˚ʚ☆ɞ˚

Made it all this way? Thank you for reading! Here's a doodle of my own Bea design for this au:

I hope I find it in me to write a follow-up with some scene of them confessing 😭😭 they're literally so oblivious it's so silly. Mutual pining is my passion. ❤️

It's been a while since I did any writing, so I'm very happy I was able to gain some inspiration for this piece!

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millenniumringg · 1 year

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Arggg I’m stressing! My latest chapter for my fic is technically finished but it’s got so many flaws; the over-wordyness, the lack of good flow, and also it ends abruptly with no good resolution. I can’t stand it. I want to fix it but I don’t know where to start, and although I would like to work on later chapters I can’t do them until this one is fixed. Help meeeee I need advice and also my creativity is at a slump, I’m so stuck it’s making me stressed

oh noooooooo I am so sorry to hear you are in a slump :(

The good news is: YOU'RE NOT ALONE!!!

I think this is something all of us writers experience a lot. I totally understand the desire to hurry and get the chapter finished, but it sounds like you might need to take a step back and look at it with the freshest of eyes!

I feel a little silly giving advice, as I certainly don't have all the answers in the world, but I've certainly been in this position before and can share some of what I do to try and get past it:

To begin, are you suuuuuure you need to finish the chapter to move on to other ones? Sometimes, jumping around chapters and plot events can help you to come up with more interesting resolutions/situations! Don't go into writing the chapters with the set intention of having them be THE final draft. Moving on from the place your stuck on is most important! So, I say try starting a later chapter anyway! See what you can do. Sometimes it helps you fill in the gaps of where you might be stuck :]

Second, I recommend doing some light reading of books/articles/blogs about writing! Search the web for writing exercises or read about how other authors follow through with the writing process (like now! See? You're already on the right track, anon!). There's plenty of material out there to get you writing, either for the chapter you're stuck on or for something else entirely!

Which brings me to my final suggestion: Move on to something else for a little while! Sometimes you have to set your work in progress aside and do something else that's got you motivated. I know you want to finish your current project (believe me, I toooootally understand), but your brain can only think about one thing for so long! You gotta exercise the creativity in other projects to oil up those brain gears! Then, after you've taken a break, try going back and reading through the chapter again and see what happens.

For me, taking a break and moving on to something else works the best. Honestly, and you're gonna hate me for this, I would probably not look at the chapter for at least a week..... You really need to reset your brain in order to make appropriate edits! Like, for real, sometimes I get so frustrated and I won't look at a wip for like. a month (mainly because work and class get in the way anyways lmao) but then when I FINALLY am like ok. I'm just gonna remind myself what I have (because you will FORGET hopefully) and then boom. You'll have fresh eyes, fresh thoughts, and will be more likely to be able to fix what you don't think is working :]

ah...... not sure if this was the advice you were searching for.... but truly the most important thing for creativity is to both exercise it and give it breaks! I know... confusing... but its true I swear you just gotta get reach creative homeostasis....

I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!!!!!!

#hhhhhhhhh peace and love peace and love #ii am so surprised you came to me for this I haven't updated anything in so long #the latest clean sneak chapter took me 3-4 months #because busy but also because it wasn't working well for me #eventually i just decided that keeping it bare bones and simple was best #was the best thing...#i wasn't 100 percent happy w it BUT #i decided that not every chapter is important and you just have to bust it out to move on #if that... makes sense....#idk idk hopefully this helps i have no idea if this works for anyone but myself JFIJEFF #anonymous #ask

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antiloreolympus · 2 years

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8 Anti LO Asks

1. i love ppl who are like "wow persephone looks so mature now!!!" ma'am she literally looks the same, all of them do. the only person who looks different is hebe and she's just a hera clone now. i swear they just make up whatever they want to see and claim it as fact.

2. //FP..

I find it dumb that some people are gonna be like "Persephone is 30 now so her romance with Hades is perfect now" like, buddy, she could be 70 but she has barely lived like 1% of what Hades has lived, and why do I care if she's 30 if she acts and looks like a 19 y/o, if you're gonna use that 3000-year-old-l*li argument, then her romance with Hades, a +2000 year old guy, is creepier from the begining

3. Teen Hebe looks exactly like her mother, RS really has no understanding of character design smfh

4. NGL I'm kinda impressed with just how bad S2 has been. IDK why its this way, RS' lack of writing ability finally being too obvious to ignore? Her refusing to listen to her editor? Her being lazy and stealing ideas from other comics/fanfics/theories like she's done before? General burn out? Writing herself into way too many corners and her now flailing/burning it all down to doing whatever the hell this is? Who knows, but it's shockingly bad.

5. Def my favorite thing the stans try to do is claim the comic is actually “super diverse” and they post like .. one panel of a non-name nymph that’s drawn bigger or whatever and claim that’s actual representation. Like no?? If you can’t even name the character and they can easily be cut out of the comic with nothing being changed, that’s not representation at all. Far from it actually.

From OP: Exactly!

Reminding me of the ‘RS is normalizing breastfeeding’ posts I saw recently. It’s literally Ancient Greece, of course the nymphs with babies will breastfeed. I’m positive they haven't developed formula in the mortal realm. I don’t think getting excited over it is a bad thing at all but it’s disappointing because it’s the bare minimum.

6. gotta love GOTTA LOVE RS having persephone say her attitude when she was 7 years old was "internalized misogyny" like... I swear I could hear her thinking "hmm how can I address all the criticism I've been getting in the vaguest way possible?" like something about that moment feels very performative, as a way to throw a crumb to those with valid criticisms of her fantasy racism and complete double standards when it comes to the women she portrays

7. Not sure how this will all be handled in part 2 of season 2 (badly probably considering how bad the first few chapters are) but I think what ultimately bothers me so much about fans attacking and criticizing Demeter is that she’s not proven wrong.

What I mean is - when someone decides to do an overbearing parent storyline, typically they are supposed to show how the parent is right, but also wrong in not letting the child do something. Demeter not letting Persephone interact with Olympus was done because she felt Olympus was bad and would hurt her child - she is proven right because the gods use and abuse each other (especially women) and treat Mortals, Nymphs, Shades, and other non-gods as expendable trash.

However, what we don’t really get is Demeter being proven wrong. Sure, Persephone finds a friend in Eros and falls in love with Hades - but Hades is basically a romanticized, rich, slave driver that treats everyone around him badly. Eros doesn’t respect Persephone’s choices and forces himself into her business quite a few times. Persephone’s only real female friends, Artemis and Hera, also don’t really treat her well either. Artemis completely misreads her and Hera literally tries to set her up with her ex lover even though she’s barely an adult.

What we really needed to see was some positive aspects of Olympus- Hades actually being a decent person, Persephone finding true friendships, maybe groups that help lower-class beings, or Persephone finding something good at her university- something that proves to Demeter that while Olympus can be dangerous, it can be good too. I’m just not seeing the good at all, and that’s what makes it hard for me to paint Demeter as an abuser. If anything, all I’m seeing is a justified mother and a bratty, man-obsessed daughter who doesn’t respect her own privileged upbringing.

8. How can "the other kings became kings because they took advantage of a fertility goddess" make any sense when Uranus is a sky god just like Zeus (sky-->rain-->fertility) and Cronus is literally an earth god, he carries a sickle fcol

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lo critical #lore olympus critical

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shorkbrian · 3 years

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I guess the sane sibling (as in the one who isn't interested in their stepsibling not-platonically) is a rule to have a incest or pseudo-incest kink but it's just saddens my perverted sick fuck self 😭 I just wanted to yandere!step-bro Tamaki to be his creepy shy so I could (probably kill him in the process) worship his cock knowing the boy would jest get SO overwhelmed 🥴 I'm sorry but I want him to stuff his lil sis with his cum while he sobs 😭 when he sees it oozing out he would RIP

When I write a character to be yandere, it’s usually my intent to not glorify their behavior. If I were in the situation as reader, it would feel like a horror movie, bc yandere actions are so not cash money.

But I’m able to write like, non-yandere smut y’all. I’m still a dark content blog, and I’ll write kinks that are a bit.... well, dark, obvs lol you just gotta ask!

and since you did -

(What to expect - incest, NSFW, unsafe sex, blowjobs, consensual sex, toys)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Tamaki?”

Your brother came around the corner, backpack still slung on his shoulder. Socked feet padded towards you on the couch, the ravenette shrugging his backpack off and gently setting it on the floor by the couch, before joining you as you sat on the plush cushions.

“Hey, you okay?” You asked, setting your textbooks on the coffee table in front of you before leaning against your older brother, rubbing his arm a little bit.

Both of you were in college, taking classes, working on the weekends to pay for the tiny little apartment you shared.

Tamaki looked tired, eyes downcast, soft frown on his lips, shoulders slumped. he was a shy man, but he didn’t usually look so..... defeated when he normally returned home after class.

“Mm.” The man hummed, sinking against you, melting into your touch.

“You look tired ‘Maki.”

He hummed again, closing his eyes as he brought his feet up, curling them underneath him as he pressed against you. The soft sweater he was wearing brushed against your bare arms, a little bit of your exposed thigh.

You weren’t shy about what you wore around the house, but for your brother’s sanity, you tried to keep somewhat covered, foregoing sports bras and wearing tank tops instead, ditching booty shorts for slightly longer (but not by much) shorts that covered you more fully.

Wearing less clothing meant Tamaki was clumsier, fumbling with the remote, bumping against things while he walked, bright red flush coloring his cheeks and melting to his collarbones, all because his eyes were glued to you.

Plus, it meant the man struggled with constant erections. He tried to hide it, embarrassed at his body no matter how many times you’d told him you adored it.

Your brother was shy, too shy to come to you and initiate, to find relief where you so gladly offered it.

That just means you had to get real good at noticing when he needed to relax a little.

You pushed Tamaki upright, ignoring his cute whine as you slid off the couch to kneel in front of him, dancing your fingers along his jean-clad thighs.

“Tell me how your day went.”

Your hands gently pushed his thighs open, watching your brother’s lips part with a gasp as you handled him. His head fell back against the couch, dark hair falling away from his eyes.

He was so pretty.

“Uhm, it was nice.”

“Mmhm.” You unzipped his jeans, slowly peeling the fabric down, your brother lifting his hips to help you out, his hands clutching at his soft sweater.

Boxers came next, Tamaki gazing down at you with red cheeks as you slipped them off his legs.

“Well, I-I woke up on time this morning, and I made it to class before the professor.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Praise easily tumbled from your lips as you wrapped a loose hand around Tamaki’s pretty pink cock, squeezing the shaft gently.

“Bio and psych went well, I got my test scores for my language class, and-and I got a B+.” His breath hitched as you took your hands off his cock, bringing a palm up to your mouth so you could wet it with your tongue, get it nice and slick for when you touched him again.

“I-I ate lunch with Mirio... and then I had math...” HIs voice was getting quieter, mumbling.

Math was never his strong suit, and you know it was one of his most-hated classes. Luckily, it was just once a week, on Tuesdays.

“How’d that go?” Your hands were on his cock again, wet with your spit, twisting around his length slowly as you moved them up and down.

“Uh, it-it went alright. I-I just ha-hate math.” Tamaki whimpered, his hips bucking up a little as you squeezed his tip, watching precum bead before bubbling over.

“Mm, well, maybe you can tell me some of the concepts? I might be able to help you out with homework.”

Tamaki couldn’t even nod, nor thank you for your offer before you were slurping his cock into your mouth. The man cried out, soft voice rising in pitch as you swallowed around him.

You fluttered your eyelashes up at him, but that didn’t get his attention, so you resorted to a gentle tap to his thigh to remind him to keep talking.

“Oh, oh, uhm... There’s..... ah...s-statistics. We-we’re learning how to.... how to display, and de-scrIBE-oh!” He lurched upwards, fingers flying to your hair as you used your tongue to play with the opening at the top. You could feel his little sweater paws as Tamaki gently fisted your hair.

Another gentle tap to his thigh.

“There’s also-also.... ohhh, uhm-ah! There’s.... prob-probablity, and I don’t.... unhh, unh-don’t get it at-at all...” His sentence ended on a breathy whine as you began bobbing your head. His voice was so cute, so pretty just like the rest of him, smooth and sweet.

“Oh, (Y/N), yes, yes! Can I-can I cum? Please?”

It had only been a few minutes, but Tamaki was close to the edge, slim thighs tensing behind your head as you considered his request.

You popped off his length, licking your lips and ignoring his pleading whine.

“Of course baby boy, always-” A soft kiss was laid against his thigh, and Tamaki threw his head back, thin chest heaving underneath his cute sweater, his face bright red.

He got overwhelmed at the littlest things.

Once his cock was back in your mouth, it took a tiny bit of work to bring him to the edge, bobbing your head, swirling your tongue, hollowing your cheeks and really sucking.

Those pretty moans echoed throughout the tiny apartment, filling up the space, filling your ears, making you want to smile. He was a sweet man, and you were glad to be so close to him.

A moment more and he was cumming, hot seed dripping down your throat, his fingers twisted in your hair, balls drawn up and pulsing against your chin.

-----

“Tamaki, you already got to cum and I didn’t.” You pouted, sitting on your bed.

You had helped your younger brother wash-up, licking his spent cock clean before tucking him back into your pants. Climbing up into his lap to boop his nose and whisper an “I love you” into his ear, grinding against his thigh in the process.

He had gotten his release, and now you were hungry for your own.

“Don’t be greedy-” Your fingers plunge into your cunt over and over, palm grinding against your clit as you stretch yourself out, watching Tamaki through hooded eyes as he sits obediently at the foot of your bed.

“Please, I-I just wanna t-touch myself a l-little?” His hands are pinching at his bare thighs, desperate to fist themselves around his dripping cock. You’d told him to be good and stay still and watch as you got yourself ready, and he had been.

Tamaki was just needy.

“Okay, but just a little, okay? No cumming.”

“Thank you, oh, thank you-” The man breathes, hands flying to wrap around his cock, his eyes fluttering shut as his hips bucked up a little towards the pressure.

You giggle a little at how cute he is, those big indigo eyes focusing back onto you again, dropping to your wet fingers as you eagerly fuck yourself on them.

But it’s not enough, and you want more.

A quick search through your bedside drawer and you find your vibrator, quickly flicking it on, watching Tamaki gulp as you bring it against your cunt. You sigh as it makes contact, the buzzy, rumbly sensation traveling through your thighs as you easily grind your hips forward against the wand.

“Mmh, I’ve been thinking... ooo, that feels so nice.” You moan, placing a hand behind you so you can steady yourself as you begin to hump against your vibrator. “I’ve been thinking though, that I should get you some-oh-get you some toys.”

Tamaki whimpers, high and pitched, and you smile when his cock visibly throbs. The man has to clench a fist around the base, squeezing hard to stop himself from humming.

“You like that idea? Yeah?”

He nodded, hair bobbing as his head moved enthusiastically.

“You’d look so pretty with a cock ring, mm, you would. And-oh, I could get one that vibrates, and it’ll feel like heaven when you fuck me.��

Your pussy was gushing, throbbing against the wand. You didn’t want to cum too soon, so you flicked it off, before crawling towards your brother.

“We could get you a nice little plug, maybe one that vibrates? And you could keep it in allllll day. You could go to class with it, and jerk yourself off in the bathrooms. I’d love if you sent me a video of you moaning my name as you cum into the toilet.”

The man whined again, his hips bucking up.

You giggled, rising to your knees so you could straddle the man, a hand finding his hard cock beneath you, lining it up to your dripping cunt.

“Would you like that ‘Maki?”

“Yes, yes-oh s-so much, please, that sounds-gUH!” His words choked off into a pathetic moan as you sank down on his length, and you sigh at the feeling of fullness.

Tamaki presses a hand over his mouth, embarrassed by the needy moans that he’s unable to suppress, hips bucking up against your warmth, trying to seat himself deeper.

“Don’t cover your mouth, I wanna hear you. You feel so good inside me.” You coo, using your thighs to bounce a little on his cock.

His hand falls to the side, and you lean forward to kiss him, letting your tongue play with his, slick, wet sounds filling the room.

And then you tell him to fuck you.

The man doesn’t hold back, greedy, slender hands fixing themselves around your waist as his hips work, pushing himself inside your cunt again and again and again.

Both of you are breathing heavily, and it feels so good, the way he fucks you.

“Oh fuck, keep going, ‘m almost there!” You pant, reaching a hand down to play with your clit, four fingers rubbing across the little nub as you climb higher and higher.

And when you cum, it’s with a full-body shudder, a cry tumbling from your lips as you slam your hips against your brothers.

Tamaki tumbles over the edge soon after, barely managing to pull free from your slick cunt before his cock is bursting with cum, painting the soft skin of your tummy with his release.

You rest against him, laying your head on his shoulder as you pant onto his skin, satisfied and warm.

When you gather your bearings, you shuffle off his lap, searching through the covers to wind the wand you’d previously dropped.

“You’re such a good boy ‘Maki, but I wanted you to cum inside-” You were pouting again as you held up the vibrator, waving it in the air.

Tamaki looked like a deer caught in the headlights, eyes wide. “W-what?”

“I’m gonna play with you a bit until you get hard again, and then I’m going to put your tip inside me-just the tip- and you’re going to cum while I use the vibrator on you, got it?”

The man shivers in anticipation, and you smile.

You love each other so much.

#tamaki smut #tamaki amakiji #bnha tamaki #mha tamaki #tamaki headcanons #amajiki x y/n #amajiki tamaki x reader #amajiki smut #bnha amajiki

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falcqns · 3 years

Note

I know that I'm boring and that you'll probably block me if I request something again, but you're the only one who always writes request, so thanks in advance. ❤💕 Well, I thought of this, Henry as my husband entered the bedroom where I'm in bed with Kal sleeping barely covered by a blanket in panties only because I started to sleep like this like Henry. It can be always smutty smut like you perfectly write it. ❤

Big Brat

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader

Warnings: Smut! Fluff, bratty Henry (like big brat), use of sign language, slight angst at the end

A/N: I would never block you love! I absolutely love getting requests! I’m sorry this took so long to get to, I just started my second semester of college, and I have way more classes, plus a baby and some other drama which I’ll probs rant about later lmao. I hope you enjoy!

Henry had been downstairs in his office, playing Cyberpunk for hours. Due to an injury on set, he couldn't film, so he was stuck at home. You had hung out with him for a few hours while he played, but eventually made your way upstairs when you became too tired.

“Text me when you’re done so I can help you up the stairs, kay?” You had asked. He agreed with a smile. His injury wasn’t too bad, but he still had trouble going up and down the stairs, and his pain got worse at night, so you made it your full time job to help him.

However, you should have known he wouldn’t listen. While he was grateful for your help, when he glanced at the clock and saw that it read 2:13 am, he knew he wouldn't wake you. He wasn’t THAT injured.

He saved the game, and turned off the computer before slowly limping his way out of his office. He glanced around the downstairs of his home, and didn't see Kal, so he knew that the big bear was upstairs with you. He took a deep breath before making the journey up the stairs.

He walked into the room, and his breath caught in his throat. You were nestled under the covers, with Kal snoring beside you. You had pulled the majority of the blanket to your chest, and had your right arm and right leg thrown over top of it, cuddling it. His eyes made the journey from your face, down your body, and stopping when he noticed you weren't wearing any pants, only blue panties.

He let out a low groan, and quickly stripped out of his clothes, before sitting down on the bed in his boxers.

He pet Kal in between the ears, gently coaxing the Akita awake.

The bear let out a low growl before turning to look at his dad in annoyance, sending a chuckle through Henry’s chest.

“Sorry, buddy, daddy’s gotta go to bed so you have to move,” He whispered, and watched in amusement as the dog grunted in annoyance, but complied, jumping off the bed and making his way to his own.

Kal jostled the bed as he jumped off, which woke you up.

“Henry? Why didn't you text me?” You asked, and watched as he slowly laid his body down, gripping his injured leg and easing it up and onto the bed.

“You were asleep, I didn’t want to disturb you,” He reasoned, as his head hit the pillow.

You sighed in annoyance, propping your arm up on your elbow, your head in your hand.

“You could have hurt yourself more,”

Henry scoffed, and ran his fingers through your hair. “But I didn't,” He whispered, and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips. You smiled into the kiss, your annoyance melting away the second his skin touched yours. “God, you look beautiful.” He mumbled into the kiss, his left hand running up your legs and coming to rest on top your panty covered hip.

You giggled whilst pulling away.

“Hen, your doctor said no strenuous activity for a least two weeks while your leg heals,” You reminded him, a knowing smile on your face. His head fell back once more, before sighing. “You don’t want to have to tell Lauren that you can't film for even longer because you had sex with your wife and hurt your leg even more, do you?”

He gave you a side eye look. “No.” You chuckled as he covered his bare chest with his arms, crossing them. “it’s not fair,” He complained.

You rolled your eyes, and laid down. “Sometimes life isn't, my dear.” All you got was a grunt in response.

You rolled over, laughing at your husbands childish antics. You threw the comforter over your body, and tossed some to him, choosing to ignore the way he pushed it off moments later, obviously deciding to be a brat about the whole situation.

“I love you,” You said in a singsong voice.

“No, you don't.” He grunted, a sniffle following moments later. You flipped over and almost laughed in annoyance at what you saw. He had his arms crossed over his chest still, his eyebrows were furrowed in annoyance, and tears were streaming down his cheeks.

“Are you seriously crying because I won't fuck you?”

He snapped his head to glare at you. “Yes,”

“Why?” You asked, exasperated at his attitude.

“Because, I walked in and saw my beautiful wife wearing the blue panties I bought for her while filming Mission, and she won't even let me sleep with her because I’ll ‘hurt myself’,” He said, putting the last two words in air quotes.

“First of all, you're being a brat, second of all, you will hurt yourself.”

He scoffed again before answering. “No, I won't!”

You breathed out through your nose before continuing. “Hen, that’s exactly what you said about the stupid stunt! And guess what, you hurt yourself, which is why we’re in this stupid situation.”

He sighed, before rolling over, you following and rolling to the other side.

You felt him roll back a few minutes later and had to mentally prepare yourself for the sheer stupidity that was sure to spill from his mouth.

“You could ride me.”

You eyes flew open, and your body flipped to face him again.

“What?”

“You heard me.” “Obviously I heard you, you dingus, but no, I am not doing that.” “Please?” He begged.

You laid down again, and closed your eyes. “I’ve said no. You haven't listened to a word I’ve said, argued about every little thing, and are refusing to stop being a brat and just go to sleep! Its almost 3 am,”

He sighed again, and you felt your patience running out. “But, baby-” He began to say before you lost it.

You sat up and threw the blankets off of you before tugging off the panties and tossing them on the floor. You pushed Henry on his back and climbed on him.

“Shut up.” You demanded, and he opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off, your hand slapping to his mouth. “I said shut up. You’ve pissed me off, so I’m going to ride you until I cum, and then I’m going to bed. I don't give two shits wether or not you finish. Now. Shut. Up.”

His eyes widened, and his hands ran up your legs, before you slapped one of them.

“You don't get to talk, you don’t get to touch. You’re in trouble, this is your punishment.” He sighed in annoyance, but accepted his fate.

You fished him out of his underwear and to your surprise, he was rock hard. You pumped him a few times, and glared up at him when he let out a moan.

“I said no talking!”

He opened his mouth to speak, but decided not to, instead communicating through sign language.

‘Thats not talking.’ He signed. You mentally cursed yourself for helping him learn sign language when he saw you communicating with a child at work who was deaf.

“No sounds.” You growled. He rolled his eyes and brought his straight hand up from his neck to his chin and pointing at you.

“Yeah, yeah, fuck you too,” You said, before guiding him inside you.

You didn't give him time to adjust being inside you, instead you immediately started bouncing on him, and letting out moans.

Henry had his eyes squeezed shut, and his lip was trapped in between his teeth in an attempt to silence his moans. His hands were balled up and gripping the bedsheets underneath him as well.

You chuckled at him and stopped bouncing to grind your hips against his.

“If you would have waited until tomorrow morning, I would have willingly rode you,” You growled out, the pleasure from riding him quickly growing in your lower belly. “But, no, you had to be a stubborn little shit and piss me off.”

Henry locked eyes with you, pleading you to let him touch you.

“I said no.” You grunted, riding him even faster. You could feel your clit catching on his hip every once in a while, and it was slowly bringing you to the edge.

By the look on Henry’s face, he was close too, but you didn't care about his pleasure. He had been selfish, now it was your turn.

You bounced on him as fast as you could, your head thrown back, and your hands gripping your husbands large pecs.

“Fuck, even when I’m mad at you, you still make me feel so fucking good,” You cried out. You were teetering on the edge, so you reached your hand in between your legs and rubbed your clit quickly, which threw you over the edge.

You came on Henry, crying and rocking, the waves of pleasure that crashed down on you seemly never-ending.

You felt him tense up just as you were coming down from your high, and immediately moved off of him. He stared at you in confusion as you grabbed your panties off the ground and slipping them on, before grabbing your phone and walking towards the door.

You turned back to look at him. “I’m still very mad at you, so I’m sleeping in the guest room. If you touch yourself, I will not sleep with you until you’ve finished filming.” You said, before walking out the door, letting it slam shut behind you.

Henry sighed in desperation, but let you go. He’d make it up to you tomorrow, but he was too tired to do anything tonight, even finish himself off.

He rolled on his side carefully, and cuddled your pillow into his chest. He drifted off to the thought of you, wishing you were sleeping next to him.

#henry cavill #henry cavill smut #henry!holmes #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill fluff #wow he was bratty in this #idk where this came from #my inner demons are out to play oof #fluff #smut #angst

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harold231 · 3 years

Text

It wasn't real

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Posted: 04/30/2021

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: None? Maybe a lil angst just a lel bet.

A/N: I think it might be good? Idk You let me know. But like frfr, don't just give me feedback in your mind, put it into words. Also I apparently have a thing for Bucky in a dotted apron soooo yeah.

FYI: time zone/era is open for interpretation. Bucky never became an avenger/soldat and steve isn't part of this one.

The wind that blew around you was warm and sweet with the scent of freshly bloomed flowers. Perhaps it was an act of kindness from some God trying to distract you from the cold bitterness settling into your bones. Closing your eyes you conjure the very memory that left you so desolate.

The sun snuck it's way through the curtains to illuminate the room, effectively disturbing the sleep that you always seemed to be craving. Waking up is always hassle but whenever you remember that you get to spend your day with the only person who tolerates you and you him, getting out of bed is the easiest thing. Bucky is crazy and the damn boy is never in one spot for to long and he always has something to say, but you can't imagine how boring your days would be if you guys had never met. well technically if your parents had never met.

When you were a child you parents had to move to new york for business and they decided that Brooklyn was the place to be. You had been Bucky's neighbor and the first day you guys moved in his mom had dragged him over with the most delicious angel food cake that he so proudly claimed to have made mostly on his own. He just loved cooking and baking since forever, he would tell you that he just liked experimenting with foods but you knew the truth was that the boy liked to eat and didn't have the patience to wait for his mother to come home.

Only a few years after your family had moved to Brooklyn you and Bucky had already built an unbreakable bond. You guys had found a beautiful cherry tree one day when playing tag and had deemed it to be your's and Bucky's spot. Whenever you had a bad day or needed time away from the world you guys would go to the tree and just pick cherries, in the winter time you and Bucky would lay under the tree and kick the trunk so that the snow would fall from the leaves. It was the place where at only 15 years old bucky swore he would open his own Bakery and to quote him "I'm serving my ma's food my way doll, It's gonna be the next best thing to hit New York."

You were laying on the ground with your hands crossed behind your head looking up at Bucky swinging upside down from a branch when he told you all this. You felt something you had never felt before at that moment, looking up at the wild haired boy who loved to eat, loved his family, and had the most ambition you had ever heard from kids your age. Your heart felt full and your cheeks grew warm as you looked up at the same blue eyes you had know for years now, only this time you notice the way they twinkle in the sunlight and how rosy his lips are. Now 7 years laters you and Bucky were preparing to open the very bakery he promised you he'd open. Banners were beautifully strung along the walls and cute retro china was set out, ready to be filled for opening day. There was no hesitation from you when Bucky had asked you to run the bakery with him, you were excited to spend your days with the person you hoped you would spend the rest of your life with.

At around 6:30 in the morning you had arrived at the bakery but it seemed that Bucky had beat you to it. The smell of fresh angel food cake and cocoa danced up your nose as soon as you opened the door. Closing your eyes you smiled at the memories that it brought back. Moving to the back you grabbed your Disney themed apron and placed your bag and coat in its place before scurrying over to the kitchen while trying (and failing) to tie your apron. There in all his dorkiness was Bucky wiggling around to the chordettes. He knew that you loved the 50's aesthetic so he found a way to incorporate it without going overboard, by adding little trinkets, a jukebox, and even those cute little dining tables. In fact at the moment he was wearing a ruffly red polka dotted apron as he frosted some cupcakes.

Apron tied, you were finally ready to get to work. You walked up to Bucky bumping his hip as you reached for some cupcake pans, "Whatcha doin here so early Buck, we don't open until 12" he looks at you with squinted eyes, "The hell are you doing here so early." "Woah,woah,woah completely unprovoked. I'm just saying cuz' you were the one complaining about the opening time being set at 8. Like damn." Breathing out a huff of air he wipes his forehead with a towel "I'm sorry doll, I'm just super nervous and I couldn't sleep so I came to start baking things. I already frosted the ice cream cakes and I just finished the pies, but I was thinking that maybe we needed some cupcakes too, even though we already baked so many pastries and stuff last night I'm worried it won't be enough."

Setting down the trays you move to hug Bucky from behind holding him close to you. "Buck I know we'll do great your food is too good to pass up on especially when it's free." You place a soft kiss to his shoulder " I promise you'll do great, everything you do is amazing you try your hardest at everything Buck, You've worked your butt off and made mine considerably larger to get here, don't start losing your mind on me now." A cute little laugh from Bucky lets you know that he's hearing you and he isn't so stressed anymore. "I just want this to be perfect ya know?" with your head still against his back you nod, "I just want it to be a special day for my special girl."

You couldn't stop the slight blush that rose to your cheeks or the way that your heart suddenly started beating three times faster. You had also wanted to make him something special which is why you had got here so early. Finally releasing your hold on Bucky you straighten your apron out before gathering everything you need for some red velvet cupcakes. Bucky loved your red velvet cake so you loved making it for him. After hours of mixing, baking, and frosting had passed, you guys were rewarded with a bakery that looked as great as it smelled. "Alright doll, I'm heading out, I gotta go get ready. Meet you back here at 12 , Love ya." He didn't even give you a chance to answer as he ran right out the door. "Love you too."

You had stayed behind just a little while longer as you perfected your secret project. Carefully you added snowflakes to some of the cupcakes because you knew how much he loved snow even if he hated winter, some cats, flowers that reminded you of bucky, and one extra special cupcake. When you finish you decide to clean up a bit more and prepare some drinks for later before heading home to get ready. As soon as you got home you took a shower and did the simplest of make up with a light pink lip. You had decided to wear a dress to match the blossoming flowers that spring had brought. Pink with a yellow lace trim and flowers embroided all over the dress, matching it with some yellow flats.

You had decided that it was a perfect day for a walk so you grabbed a light scarf and slung it over your shoulders, grabbed Bucky's cupcakes, and headed over to the bakery. You felt as if a Hundred pounds had been lifted from your shoulders knowing that Bucky had felt the same way about you. You had decided that you would tell him today with your special cupcakes. As you rounded the corner you felt giddy and you couldn't wipe the smile from your face no matter how hard you tried. As you reached the bakery you saw that a majority of the people had already arrived and you knew that it would put Bucky at ease to see all the people enjoying his food. You stopped at the window, closing your eyes to take a deep breath to prepare yourself to join the celebration.

Opening your eyes you reached for the handle only to stop at the sight on the other side of the door. Bucky stood there arms wrapped around a woman eyes locked on hers as he leaned in for a kiss. It must have all happened in about 30 seconds but it felt as if time himself had slowed it down for you to watch the way he tilted her head and ran his tongue along her bottom lip before finally uniting their lips. Your heart dropped as quickly as your smile did and suddenly you felt so stupid for thinking this could be real. You willed yourself not to cry as you allowed your legs to carry you anywhere but there.

That's how you found yourself sitting underneath a blossoming cherry tree. A tree that held only happy memories because it wasn't a place you could be sad... back then. With your back against the tree and box of cupcakes full of unrequited love in your lap you realize how much you over romanticized Bucky. Opening the box you decide it would be a shame to let them go to waste. The first one you grab has a big red heart frosted in the middle, you let out a deep sigh before breaking the cupcake right down the middle. You shove half of the cupcake into your mouth and only then do you allow the tears to fall. You sat there for hours crying eating cupcakes, watching the sunset, and thinking about everything that Bucky did for you, as a friend. You realize you had no right to be angry at Bucky, after all you never told him how you felt you just assumed that he would feel the same way after so many years. With every broken memory another cupcake vanished.

He was always there for you, when no one wanted to come to your slumber party Bucky did and he even did all the girly things with you. Painting your nails, doing your hair, watching chick flicks, and pillow fights. once he even asserted that no one could protect you as well as he could, when you had decided to go camping with your friend from class so he insisted on taking you himself. Your friend was most noticeably gay so you had assumed he wanted to spend time alone with you. But now that you think back on those memories these are things that anyone would do for their bestfriend. And that's what you realized 8 hours and 11 cupcakes later.

The moon floated above you and as it's white rays settled upon the lake you decided it might be time to go home now. You get up and dust your dress off before leaning down to grab the mostly empty box. Turning around you are stopped again by what's in front of you. Bucky stands there brows furrowed as his eyes flash from you to the box in your hands. "Where the hell have you been, I've been calling you all day." swallowing the lump in your throat you go to answer but are interrupted. " everyone's been asking me about you all night and I had no damn idea what to tell them, but apparently you were just out here being inconsiderate. You go and tell me I can do great tonight, that you'd be there for me, but you weren't." You try to answer him but are again interrupted. "You could have told me something earlier instead of leaving me there like a dumb-" "SHUT UP!" this time it was your turn to interrupt him.

Taking a deep breath you look into his eyes before explaining. "Of course I was ready to be there today, you think I wore this dress to sit under a damn tree? Well I didn't. When I left my apartment I was ready and I was excited, so excited. I couldn't even stop smiling on my way over, but then I got to the shop and I saw-" Immediately you stopped as you realized what you were about to say. He cocked an eyebrow and shook his head slightly as if to say 'Hello?' "You saw what? What did you see that would make you abandon ship just like that?" Shame flushed through your being and you could no longer keep eye contact. "Nothing, you know what, it doesn't even matter. I'm sorry I was being dramatic I should have been an adult and dealt with it on my own time. And I'm sorry I abandoned you all, but the night was about you anyways."

"The night was supposed to be about the both of us so it does matter if you saw something that made you want to leave. Just tell me doll, what did you see?" his voice is soft as he pleads with you. "I saw... well I saw you kissing that lady and I just wanted get away and ended up here okay!?" You said it all in a jumble hoping that he wouldn't be able to understand what you had said. But luck wasn't your friend so of course he did. "So seeing me kiss another person was so gross to you that you had to run away, what the hell? are you 13 again?" You hadn't admitted it outloud yet and it seemed that the dumbass in front of you was going to force it out of you.

Stepping around Bucky you pull your scarf tight around your body as you focus on not crying anymore until you get home. You distract yourself by thinking of all the love you saw in all the little things Bucky did for you. Dancing around the newly furnished bakery body against body as frank sinatra brought you heart to heart, watching rom-coms and ugly crying together, but by the time you get home you force yourself to face the ugly truth. The Love was always in your head. It wasn't real.

A new wave of tears blurred your vision as teardrops fell perfectly to the ground. "It's because I have feelings for you Bucky, and I now know you don't feel the same way." Sniffling you don't bother looking up because your heart is to broken for that right now. "I'm Just gonna need a little bit of time and I'll be back good as new like nothing even happened." Still unable to lift your gaze from the ground you decide to focus on the last cupcake left in the box. 'I Love You' is written in tiny light blue frosting letters. "I uhm, uhh." That brought your attention to Bucky, as embarrassment pulsed as strong as ever through your veins. " You don't have to say anything Buck, It's fine, I'll see you next week, on monday" you hand him the box as you go to pass him "I think you would have a better use for this than me I ate 11 others already so."

Divider credits: @firefly-graphics

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coldmilkcreamery · 3 years

Text

lux in tenebris

~ 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 ~

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: jung jaehyun x male reader 🌹🥀

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 4182

𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: set in the 1960’s, your relationship with Jaehyun blooms as you navigate a time when homosexuality is unacceptable.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴/𝘀: hinted homophobia (but never shown)

𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗯𝘆 🌙

𝗮/𝗻: because valentines is jaehyun’s birthday !! hbd to my first bias <3 this story is so so fluffy, which is so unusual for me because i’m an angsty writer 🥴 also, i thought of this story while listening to ‘put your head on my shoulder’ !! every time i would write a part, i would listen to it <3 this is the longest story i’ve written, surpassing memories (which is also a jaehyun one btw, i think this unintentionally proves my dedication to him) !! i hope u guys like this because i’ve worked the hardest on this 🥺 happy valentines everyone ! <3

> 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 <

(some time in the 1960s~)

Everybody thought they were friends. The class-skipping, the after-school hangouts, the dinners at Anka’s Diner—everybody thought they were friends. And truly, they were.

But is that really all they were?

“So…” Jaehyun asks as they walk down the halls of Neo High, “Anyone approach for Valentine’s yet? I bet you’ve gotten more than three people to ask you out by now.”

Y/N chuckles, lightly shoving Jaehyun as the latter chuckles as well. “Man, stop it. No one asked me out. And who are you to say that? Star athlete, 6 pack abs, Jaehyun of the Neos, I'd say… 6 girls?”

“7, actually.” They both giggle as Jaehyun continues, “But… I shot all of them down.”

They both near Y/N’s locker, Jaehyun leaning on the ones beside as the former opens his and gets some books out. “Why? 7 girls… neat.”

“I have my eyes on someone else.” Jaehyun says, looking up, blushing at the ceiling, glad that Y/N’s locker door is obstructing the latter’s view of his face.

“Lucky girl.” Y/N says, nonchalantly as he closes the door to his locker. “She’ll say yes, don’t worry.”

“Sure hope they do. So… I'm guessing you're still on the make? You know, looking for a date?” Jaehyun says curiously, unknowingly hoping for a certain answer.

“I told you no one asked me out. And honestly, I’m fine with that. It's a Saturday on the 14th—maybe I should just stay home and listen to the radio.”

“Aww. That's fine little man.” Jaehyun says as they begin their trek towards their classes. “Maybe you could go out with me…” His voice softens, not wanting to alert those around them, “If you can't find anyone.”

Y/N chortles, smacking Jaehyun on the shoulder once again, “Kinda gay ain't it?”

“Nothing wrong with it.”

“You think the people around us’ll say the same?”

Jaehyun hums in acknowledgement as he fixes his tie, replying, “Okay then. Well, see ya’ later alligator.”

Y/N smiles as he sends the boy a wink, entering his classroom as the latter walks to his.

They both knew it. It was mutual knowledge. But unspoken. It was unspoken knowledge. The sly touches, the flirting—they both knew it.

But neither have made a real move yet.

“If you had one thing you could do right now, without being interrupted—without any distractions,” Jaehyun says, lying down on Y/N’s bed, throwing a baseball up in the air as he asks, “what would it be?”

“Hm.” Y/N ponders, pausing the movement of his pencil over the créme sheet of paper, placing it down. “Maybe…” he looks out the window, observing the orange to black ombré, “Moongazing. I just love the moon. The stars too.”

“You always talk about the moon.” Jaehyun stops throwing the white ball knitted with red fabric, catching it on one hand as he sits up. “What’s so bewitching about it anyway?”

“I don’t know.” Y/N continues writing, the graphite marking the pages as it produces the only sound in the room apart from their voices. “It’s… calming. Not to mention, the twinkling stars look pretty too.”

“Twinkle twinkle little star…” Jaehyun sings softly as Y/N chuckles, throwing a pillow at the former.

“If you don’t believe me—”

“I do. I’ll take you for your word.” Jaehyun replies almost instantly. “I always do.”

“Neat. Now flake off. The sun is setting. You live three streets away, and I don't want you walking in the dark alone.” Y/N gets up from his seat at the window, turning to face Jaehyun.

“Walk me home then.” Jaehyun replies, a smirk on his face.

“That would mean I would be the one walking home alone in the dark, you dork.”

“Alright, alright.” Jaehyun replies, getting up from Y/N’s bed to give him a long, warm hug. Their bodies separate as Jaehyun blows Y/N a kiss, walking out the bedroom door, getting a snort in return.

The marmalade sun hides itself on the horizon as Y/N looks out the window, waving to Jaehyun as the latter walks out their front yard, beginning his journey home.

Oh God, was he falling.

It was getting increasingly difficult to resist. The sneaky flirts, the clever comebacks—it was getting increasingly difficult to resist.

And maybe he should stop doing so.

“Baby~” Jaehyun sneaks up on Y/N, whispering the words as the latter stiffens in surprise before smacking him lightly in the face.

“Dude. You gotta stop saying shit like that.” The boy sitting on his assigned chair replies, looking up at Jaehyun who is now seated on his desk. “Why are you here anyways? Don’t you have class soon?”

“You do.” Jaehyun replies, pointing at Y/N before pointing at himself, “I don’t. My first subject isn’t ‘till 9.”

“Hm.” Y/N mumbles as he looks back down on the sheet of paper with two unanswered math problems waiting to be solved. “Well, I forgot to complete this last night because I was too pre-occupied with English, and there’s five minutes left ‘till my class starts so I really gotta finish this.”

“Maybe you don’t.” Jaehyun replies, a plan already devising itself in his mind. “Do you maybe wanna… go to the park?”

Y/N looks up, a smirk forming on his face as he observes the same smirk on Jaehyun’s. They hold a stare for about five seconds before Y/N shoves the gray sheet of paper into his backpack, not caring if it was getting crumpled. In laughing fits, both boys run out the hall and eventually out the school too. Slowing down from their marathon-like sprint, they don't notice that they have their fingers interlocked. Y/N realizing this, he quickly untangles them as he straightens his uniform, Jaehyun unconsciously bummed out.

“Well,” Y/N says, looking up at Jaehyun who was already staring at him, “lead the way, my good sir.”

Jaehyun bows as he jokes, “Why of course, Milady. I’ll have you back in school by 9, just in time for your second subject.”

Both giggle as they skip to the grassy park, unknowingly spending the whole day out of school.

Maybe it was something in the air. Something they inhaled, passing their airways as it made its way to their heart, freeing them from their icy restraints. Maybe it was something in the air—or maybe something in the grass. But it made them both come out of their shells.

What took that damned O₂ so long to enter their lungs?

“Oh shit.” Y/N realizes halfway through fawning about a low-graphic, black and white but new cartoon that had just come out. He looks down on his right wrist as he scoffs. “You said you’d get me back in school by 9.” He says, annoyed, looking up at Jaehyun, “It’s 9:05”.

Jaehyun chuckles innocently, planting his palm on the back of your shoulder. “Well… if people see us here in the park when we’re supposed to be in class… we’ll get detention for skipping.” He says, matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, totally didn't know that, Jae.” Y/N says, facetiously.

“Well… we could go to the movies? Or the fair…” Jaehyun brings his lips closer to Y/N ears as he whispers convincingly, “Or both.”

The flustered pulls away, hands pushing Jaehyun towards the opposite direction. “Fine. But I didn't bring my wallet today.”

“What do you want me to do about that?” Jaehyun replies, a look of sarcasm cascading his face. Y/N rolls his eyes before staring straight into Jaehyun’s, cracking his knuckles. Before he could get a word out, Jaehyun already surrenders. “Okay, okay! Calm down dude.” He chuckles. “But on one condition.”

“I’m listening.” Y/N replies, crossing his legs.

“Be my Valentine. For tomorrow.”

“W-”

“Dude, you don't have a valentine, I don't have a valentine—”

“Because you turned them all down!”

“Okay fair enough.” Jaehyun admits, “But it's not like I can ask them out again, it would be too humiliating for big ole’ Jae, wouldn't it?” He pouts, sticking his bottom lip out as he stares into Y/N’s eyes.

Y/N contemplates, sighing after a minute as he replies, “Fine.”

Jaehyun jumps in glee as he cheers, acting like a kid whose parents agreed to buy them ice cream.

“Just take me to the movies already.” Y/N sighs yet again, scratching his head as the taller calms down, bowing facetiously.

“Of course, Milady.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay.”

The popcorn was exceptional. Splendid indeed. The pop of flavor just made everything fall into place. The popcorn was exceptional—maybe that’s why Jaehyun held the bag so cautiously.

And soon enough, that won’t be the only thing he’ll be holding—and eating, too.

“Mmmh.” Jaehyun moans as he sips his pop, taking a handful of popcorn right after.

“Dude, stop! We haven't even gotten in the theater yet and you're already devouring everything.” Y/N whines, upset. “By the time the movie starts, we’ll have nothing!”

“Chill,” Jaehyun replies, taking one last sip from his straw before he smiles at Y/N, “we can just buy another one.”

“You’re just wasting money.” Y/N groans, not wanting Jaehyun to spend any more.

“Okay, okay.” He replies, sealing his popcorn as they wait to be let in the theater.

Was it the popcorn in the theater? Something that gave Jaehyun the courage. Because Jaehyun had not been this bold 6 months ago. Was it the popcorn in the theater—or was it the soda pop?

It didn't matter. What he was going to do with his newly-found virtue did.

In the darkness, the mono-colored movie played as the bag of popcorn was set in between the boys.

“Remind me why we decided to watch a romance movie again?” Y/N brings his lips closer to Jaehyun’s ears as he whispers, not wanting to disturb the rest.

“People say it’s a good movie.”

“They both die.”

Jaehyun peels his eyes away from the screen to stare at Y/N, a look of disbelief washing over his face. “You just spoiled the movie for me.”

“Everybody knows the story of Romeo and Juliet.” Y/N replies, rolling his eyes.

“Well, I don’t.” Jaehyun whispers, looking back at the projected movie, correcting himself, “Didn’t. I guess I do now.”

“I still can’t believe you didn’t know though.” Y/N remarks, grabbing popcorn from their shared bucket, staring at the movie playing.

“Now I do, and…” Jaehyun looks at Y/N once again, his cheeks burning as he braves and says, “I guess it’s a good thing we’ll both be Romeos tomorrow.”

Y/N lightly chuckles, trying to ignore what Jaehyun had just said, keeping his eyes glued to the movie.

Unsatisfied with Y/N’s reaction, Jaehyun slips his fingers past the bucket of popcorn and onto Y/N’s, resting on the armrest. With the sudden weight and warmth on his hand, Y/N tenses—but doesn’t look at Jaehyun. Rather, he watches the movie intently, silently hoping he doesn’t give in.

Jaehyun leans closer to Y/N, lips right next to his ears as he whispers, “I’m cold.”

And he gives in.

Their fingers interlock in the dark of the theater, the sounds of dialogue from the movie filling the enclosed space up. No one can see them—it’ll be alright.

Jaehyun always found rings cute. A cheese ring, a metal ring, the ring around Saturn. Jaehyun always found rings cute,

But his greatest wish was to put a diamond one around Y/N’s finger.

“This is a scam.” Y/N retorts, hands crossed. He stares at Jaehyun as they stand in line for a hoop game on the board walk’s carnival, a few minutes after their exit from the theater.

“There’s no harm in trying.” Jaehyun replies, his eyes on the prize—a teddy bear the size of a toddler.

“That’s like saying ‘There’s no harm in getting scammed’, Jae.”

“Well,” Jaehyun cheekily replies, smirking as he blurts, “there’s no harm in getting scammed for you.”

Y/N looks at Jaehyun in disbelief as the flirt grabs 3 round hoops, preparing to land them on the moving bottles. Much like Y/N’s prediction, the first hoop falls too early and too far from the bottles, the second slides off after nearing and the third one flies too far and hits the stall owner. Jaehyun cringes as the owner painfully smirks, the feeling of victory of scamming another customer engulfing the latter’s mind, accompanied by the feeling of pain from the metal object recently hurled at his stomach.

“At least we have consolation candy?” Jaehyun’s face agonizes, embarrassment taking over.

“At least we have consolation candy.” Y/N repeats, grabbing a handful as he smiles at the owner and makes a 180°, leaving the booth. Jaehyun follows behind, hands in his pocket as he looks around the fair.

“Oooh,” Jaehyun interests, “What about that one?” He says, pointing at the game with a man in his 20’s trapped inside a container with water below, fate depending on his partner’s aim at the target.

“How about no?” Y/N replies, chuckling shortly after, “If you like water so much…

how do you feel about the beach?”

Tonight was the night. It wasn’t the 14th—it was the day before. But Jaehyun was more than confident enough to make a move. Tonight was the night—and nothing could go wrong.

Or so he hopes.

The tangerine sun meets the navy water once again, its center resting at the edge of the coast. Both boys walk down the beach, hands in pockets as they keep their feelings in.

“Pretty isn’t it?” Jaehyun perks up as he stares at Y/N breaking the silence. “The sun setting.” Jaehyun nods as Y/N continues. “It’s a shame that it’s disappearing soon. Give it a few minutes more and there won’t be a trace of orange on the sky.”

“It’s just how it is.” Jaehyun replies.

“Exactly.” Y/N gleams, the wind blowing on his shirt. “As much as I love seeing the sun, and as much as I hate seeing it go, I see it as a good thing too.”

“What do you mean?” Jaehyun replies, sparkles in his eyes as he stares at Y/N, only the calm waters and the sun’s secant behind him.

“I see it as, ‘if you love something, you have to let something else go’, or something of the sort.” Y/N chuckles, his hands still in his pockets, “I love the sun so much, but if it means seeing the night sky again, I’d give it up every single day, every single time, every single chance I get.”

“You must love the moon and stars so much, huh.” Jaehyun awes as his skin glows under the dying sun’s radiating tint.

Y/N nods as both boys settle down on a spot by the ocean, watching the sun submerge, darker and bluer hues taking over the early evening sky. They sit there for a few minutes, staring at the ocean waves, thinking about their current situation. As they contemplate, the sky has completely changed, from warm hues into cooler and darker ones, the moon showing itself first.

“There you go.” Jaehyun chuckles, laying his back on the sand as he points up, “Your favorite.”

Y/N follows the direction Jaehyun’s finger is pointing at as he looks up at the indigo atmosphere, a faint, glowing crescent standing out. He beams as he appreciates the moon’s presence, basking in it. “Thank you for today, Jae.”

“You’re welcome. Don’t forget about tomorrow okay?”

Y/N nods as he gets up, dusting his shorts off from the sand. The other gets up as well, doing the same as Y/N watches.

Just as the latter is about to leave, Jaehyun speaks up. “Wait!” Y/N faces him once again, a sparkle on his eyes as he wonders why he was called back. “I— I have something to say.” Jaehyun shivers, clenching his fists as he breathes in and out, preparing himself for his own confession. “For the longest time I’ve— I’ve looked up to you and I just wanna say,” Y/N raises his eyebrows, the sound of waves crashing onto the beach filling his ears, “I like you.”

‘I like you’. The words ring in Y/N ears, the syllables painting his eardrums with love. It seems great at first but then he remembers—the predjudice, the shame, the disgrace, the dishonor—and doubles back. “Y-you can’t.”

“Yes, I can.” Jaehyun says as he inches closer to Y/N, his hand grazing the latter’s cheek as he pulls closer. Their lips touch under the moonlight, the stars and benthics as their witness. The taste of strawberry fills Y/N’s taste buds, the savory flavor of intimacy filling his mouth. With the doting feeling of passion engulfing Y/N’s body, he kisses back. They move in sync for a few seconds until Jaehyun pulls away, the feeling of endearment filling his mind as he registers that he had just kissed Y/N—the one he's been pining for for the past few years. Of course, that feeling isn't long-lasting as he notices Y/N take a step back, fear in the latter’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Jaehyun questions, his words coming out as a mere whisper. Y/N doesn't reply as he takes more steps back, mortified. Jaehyun reaches his hand out—and that’s all it takes to send Y/N running.

He sprints the opposite direction, ignoring Jaehyun’s shouts behind him. Adrenaline rushes through his veins as his shoes hit the sand continuously, fear and disappointment fueling his run.

Jaehyun is left alone, under the moonlit beach, and instead of hearing his beloved’s voice, only the sound of waves fill his ears, sending him into full regret.

Was it like water? Sometimes everything would be blithe—calm, tranquil water, their insouciant selves enjoying the world. But sometimes it would be erratic too—the unpredictable waves engulfing them and their relationship. Was it like water—their love for one another?

Jaehyun just hopes it wouldn’t dry up.

“Thought I’d find you up here.” Jaehyun mutters as he closes the rooftop door, making a sound as it closes again. It’s been a few hours since the beach incident, the moon already glowing brighter. “Look, I’m sorry for kiss–”

“Don’t be.” Y/N replies, keeping his voice as stern as possible, despite already being on the verge of tears. “It was great, I just,” Y/N pauses, takes in the night sky’s view for the last time before he breaks down, and plants his eyes on Jaehyun, still by the rooftop door. “Don’t you think this is wrong?”

“What is?” Jaehyun replies, already knowing the answer he would receive.

“This.” Y/N replies, whining dejectedly as he gets up from his sitting position, facing Jaehyun. “This is. We’re both guys, we shouldn't be flirting, let alone kissing!”

“Why does it matter?” Jaehyun questions, stepping forward as he tries his best to keep his tears in.

“It just does Jaehyun!” Y/N yells back, the exact opposite of Jaehyun’s hushed tone, his voice echoing out into the night sky. “It just does.” He repeats, tears pooling on the corner of his eyes.

“If it does, then…” Jaehyun steps back, the feeling of woe engulfing him, “you never liked me the same way I like you.”

“No!” Y/N replies almost immediately, a tear already slipping out, painting his right cheek, “I, I like you Jae, I like you so fucking much. Every single moment we’ve had, every single moment we’ve shared—I relish every bit of it. I can’t stop liking you—I’ll never stop liking you. But,” Y/N pauses, “I’m scared.”

Jaehyun steps closer to Y/N, pulling him into his embrace as the latter cries out onto his shoulder, tears staining his t-shirt, “Don’t be.”

“But I am.” Y/N replies, sniffing as he tightens his grip on Jaehyun’s body. “I’m scared of everything—What if people talk bad about us, behind our backs? What if our parents kick us out? What if we get expelled? What if—”

“Shh.” Jaehyun shushes, his hand rubbing Y/N’s back slowly, the strokes calming the latter down. “Stop thinking about the ‘what ifs’, just focus on me.”

“I’m sorry, I know I overthink a lot.” Y/N mumbles, pulling away from their embrace as he looks Jaehyun in the eyes, the moonlight shining on them. “I’m just… scared of the darkness that awaits, you know?”

“I get you.” Jaehyun replies as he stares at Y/N, melancholic. “And I’ll do whatever it takes, okay? I’ll be your candle, your shining light, anything that’ll get you through the darkness.”

“Thanks.” Y/N chuckles, looking down, noticing the sand still on Jaehyun’s shoes. “But that still doesn’t change what people would think about…” He points to Jaehyun, then at himself, repeatedly, “this.”

Jaehyun hums as he guides Y/N to the ledge of the rooftop, sitting both him and himself down as they stare out onto the deserted school field below. “Remember what you said about the sun, just a few hours ago when we were down at the beach?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“I’d give it all up. All of it. My status, my family, my friends—all of it…” Jaehyun says, peeling his eyes off the dark field below them and locking them with Y/N’s, passion fueling his words, “if it meant I could be with you. Because as much as I love them, if it means seeing you in my arms, I’d give them all up every single day, every single time, every single chance I get.”

Y/N forces a sob in, trying his best not to break down. “But why?” He replies, feeling tears pool again.

“Because I’m serious with you, dude.” Jaehyun replies as Y/N chuckles, the tears still in his eyes. “I’ve been wanting to tell you all this for a while now.”

Y/N snickers louder, he and his best friend’s intimacy overwhelming him. He takes in Jaehyun’s form, the moon casting its light down on him, and makes a desicion. “Fine.”

“Fine what?”

“Fine, you can be my candle. Fine, you can be my shining light. Fine…” Y/N pauses, trying to find the right words, “Fine, I’ll give this—us—a chance.”

Jaehyun quickly switches moods from his dejected one to a grin from ear to ear, painting over his gloomy look. “Does that mean you’re still my valentine for tomorrow...” Jaehyun pauses, looks at his watch then looks back into Y/N’s eyes, noticing all the sorrow fading, “I mean later?”

“Yes, dude.”

“We have to stop calling each other that now, babe.”

“Ew. Too cheesy don’t you think?”

“Not at all. I think it suits you.”

Both men chuckle as they stare out into the landscape, a completely new bond between them formed.

“Since it’s Valentine’s Day already,” Jaehyun mumbles as he looks toward Y/N’s direction, “do you mind giving me a kiss?” Y/N stops his peaceful gaze on the stars as he locks eyes with Jaehyun, noticing the sparkles in his eyes. “No running away this time though.”

Y/N chuckles before he places his hand on Jaehyun’s cheek, moving closer and closer, feeling their taboo love get stronger and stronger. Their lips touch as he realizes that Jaehyun’s lips taste more like peaches than strawberries. With this thought in mind, he smiles into their kiss, the feeling of fear leaving his body as he feels his best friend’s—now boyfriend’s—lips on his.

Instead of the briny ocean water witnessing their love wither merely 6 hours earlier, it was now the magnificent moon and the stunning stars bearing witness to their young, requited love bloom.

Maybe it was the stigma. The thing that kept them apart for so long. Maybe it was the stigma—or maybe they were both just pussies.

Good thing they grew some balls.

“I think I get why you like the moon and stars so much.” Jaehyun blurts as the two lay on the beach once again, staring up at the glittered night sky, the valentine air floating out and about.

“And why’s that?” Y/N says as he looks up at Jaehyun, curiosity devouring him.

“It reminds me of a phrase in Latin.” He replies, smiling as the bijou stars twinkled at them, as if they were smiling. “It means light in darkness.” Y/N nods. “The moon, the stars—they paint the plain black sky and turn it into something stunning. I can’t look away from it now. Whenever I look up at night, I’ll always remember you.”

“Good for you.” Y/N chuckles, shifting his gaze from his boyfriend’s cheek and placing it back on the painting-like sky above them, miniature dots glistening on the canvas. “What’s that phrase again? If it sounds pretty, I just might get it tattooed on me.”

“Light in darkness,” Jaehyun stops, smiling back at the specs winking at them, “and in Latin,” Y/N looks up at Jaehyun, only to catch him staring back, stars in his eyes,

“Lux in tenebris.”

End.

𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙚𝙙: 02.04.21

𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙: 02.13.21

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impala1967dwinchester · 3 years

Text

Sam Winchester: Out of the closet

Pride Collection 2021 June 5th

Pairing: AU! Sam W. x Sister!Reader

Pov: Y/n

Warnings: Coming out, support from a family member. Mentions of Dean and John.

Summary: Finally feeling comfortable you tell Sam your biggest secret, but you think NO you know he can handle it seeing as he is your big brother.

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N- Bisexual, @firefly-graphics for the bisexual dividers Supposed to be posted on the 5th of June, but was unfortunately postponed to the 6th of June

Sam Winchester Master List

Main Master List

Pride Collection Master List 2021

Today is the day that I'm going to tell Sam my most important secret.

I've had this secret for years now. It started my last year in high school, and with Sam being the older brother is, when he left for college he took me with him.

Anyways, He got me set up in an apartment, he came and visited me every other day. Going to class, and just being normal was nice, and it lasted for a while.

There was a party for the seniors that year. I toyed with the idea of dressing up and going out or just stayin' home and studying. I was very much Sammy when it came to my schooling. Something that I'd just learned from him over the years.

I just made a choice deciding that one night of partying wouldn't hurt me or my schooling. So I dressed up in a short red dress, black flats, and the only thing I had taken with me before leaving Dean and John.

Slipping into a black jacket that was a size too big, but smelled like my older brother Dean. I grabbed my keys and left. I had never gone to a party if you don't include the father-daughter dance that John half-ass took me to the Sam ended up having to save me from. Or the random school dances that I had.

Showing up to this party everyone's eyes were on me. It was a weird sensation to be stared at but in a sorta good way. In a way that made me wonder.

Very quickly I had a few guys surrounding me, their actions were pointless as I ignored them, and I left them to discuss between themselves. One good thing that John has taught me was not to take shit from anyone, I think he forgot that also meant him.

But regardless of that, I went to go see if I could find a few friends. I was met with a beautiful woman, her long legs covered in jeans with thigh-laced-up boots and a relieving t-shirt.

It didn't click then, or later on when I was tapped on the shoulder by a taller version of the woman. He had short blonde hair, dressed like every other jock, but the immediate feeling, sense I got from him was nothing but lust.

Now it's been seven years, seven years for me to try out things with many different people, and figuring myself out along the way. I've come to the conclusion that I don't just like the men that serve me coffee in the morning, or the women that I do yoga with.

Sam's older now, just by a year his beautiful wife and his kids, live in a small starter home at the end of our quiet town. Sam's wife has always taken a liking to me. And their kiddos call me Auntie.

It all around a great part of my life to be around my family. To be around so much love and admiration for each other. But the fear of saying the truth, the fear of telling my older brother makes me worry.

Makes me worry that I'll spill the truth on a silver platter and be told I'm not worthy of that love and admiration that I crave to have, that I enjoy seeing.

Sometimes it floats around, I can see even if it for just a brief moment. I can it flutter around Sam's kids, or him and his wife the way they share just a longing happy look for each other.

"I hate to bother you two live birds, but I was wondering if I could take the kiddos out for ice cream?" I ask Sammy, he smiles and says "Sure just be careful. Love ya." I gather their two kids up and well chase each other to my car.

In moments like this, I sometimes wish I already had kids. I also wish that their uncle and grandfather could be here to see them grow and flourish into strong men and strong women.

But regardless, we listen and sing along to a special playlist that we made together. Just a thing for the three of us to enjoy. "Auntie, play our songs please!"

Sam's youngest says her politeness reminds me of him. "Yeah, Auntie you gotta play our songs and sing along with us this time!" Sams oldest screams, he looks like Sam, but in reality, has the personality and swagger of Sam's wife.

We make it to our favorite ice cream place. They always get the same things, no matter the time of the season. "You two outta try something different," I say to them, they give me a look of 'How dare you to tell me to get something different.' I giggle, and we walk out to the shop.

Getting the kiddos back, and in bed was a task. They gave their kisses to me, and then to Sam. Their mother takes them to bed, so nows it's just my brother and me. "Good night pumpkins, Auntie loves you," I say Watching the two of them holding their hands and walk down the hallway.

There's no better time to tell him.

"Hey, are you okay Y/n?" Sam asks an almost empty beer in his hand. He's sitting across from me at the dinner table. I'm in my own thoughts, I'm brought back when I feel Sam's socked foot hit the bottom of my foot.

"Yeah, you could say that I'm okay," I say back, I'm starting to worry about what he might say, maybe I shouldn't say anything.

"Look, I'm your older brother, I know when somethin' is bothering you," Sam says with a hopeful look. I frown, I might as well say the truth, that's something that Sam and I promised each other when we left Dean and John.

"Nothing is bothering me, Sammy, I just need to say something to you and I don't know how to phrase it." He puts his beer down and get's up grabbing my hand and taking me outside.

He'd always done this with me when we were younger. Dragging me to the open yard, he plopped down to the grass and drug me with him. He'd tell me when I was young, to look up in the sky and feel the earth below me. To let go of worries, and be calm be thoughtful.

"Sam, what are we doing out here? We aren't kids anymore." I said closing my eyes. "Y/n just please, do this for me. Maybe you'll figure out a way to phrase your thoughts." He said

I thought as he told me to do. It was nice to feel everything around me and not so much worry about things. "Are you better now Y/n?" Sam asked, I opened my eyes and smiled.

"A little yeah," I said, I might as well just say it, let it be in the open. Regardless of what Sam may think, or even say I'm just going to go for it. That's at least one major thing, Sammy, as taught me over the years.

"Sammy.. I've thought long and hard about telling you and even saying this out loud, but I'm bisexual," I said getting up and looking at my older brother.

He'd yet to give me a reaction, no change in his facial expression, no words yet spoken. It was just quiet, the weird unsettling silence, that gives me anxiety. Makes me worry that the sweet moment between a brother and his sister will forever be lost, that I'll never get to see my nephew and niece again.

But before I know it I'm encased in Sam's overbearing arms, he's hugging me tightly, reassuring me that he loves me, tell me that he proud of me. Everything thought that I had was wrong. He's my brother, after all, he knows me better than anyone.

"Can I ask a question, peanut?" He said, using a nickname he'd used many years ago. We were still hugging, I hummed. "Am I the first person you've officially told?" Sam asked.

I thought a minute, my partners that I'd been with hadn't really known, so yeah Sam was the first to know. "Yeah, I think you are Sammy," I said holding on tight to his hug.

"I just want you to know that I love you, and I'm always here for you peanut. Why don't you and I go out for the weekend tomorrow? Spend some quality time together?!" He asked. I smiled and hummed.

There was nothing better than being excepted and loved. Not only that but it also felt like a thousand-pound rock had been lifted from my shoulders by telling Sam.

Completed on: 06/05/2021

Posted on: 06/06/2021

Tag List: @sweetdetectivequeen @wonderfulworldofwinchester @hobby27 @fofisstilinski @doctorlilo

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