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catopoliscat · 2 months

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next time / kento nanami/fem!reader.

who would have thought that kento nanami was a virgin? not you. not after this long. perhaps he was saving himself for someone. perhaps he was waiting for you.

tags: nsfw. 18+. fem!reader. afab reader. penetrative sex. alcohol. dry humping. virgin!nanami. mutual pining. friends to lovers. creampie (wrap it kids). unprotected sex. touch-starved!nanami. canon!verse. you've known nanami since school. tinges of angst. nanami wanted you bad lmao. it's love babey. reader has experience. no use of y/n or any other placeholders. ever. wc: 7.7k. a/n: i kind of fear nanami's a little ooc here lmao, but i've spent too long on this so fuck it we ball he deserves this

also how mad would you be if i said this was set a week before shibuya arc be honest

mdni.

You’re a bottle and half of zinfandel deep when Nanami tells you.

Although you’re both a little warm, tipsy perhaps, you didn’t think either of you were quite drunk enough for this conversation just yet. It was a regular occurrence for the two of you to share a drink on a Friday, or a bottle in more pressing times.

There were more bottles than glasses, lately.

It was just two old friends, catching up. Talking. Complaining--usually about Satoru. Often you’d reminisce on easier times. Warm summers in the Jujutsu High courtyard, the cold tin of a soda in your hands, a bottle of water in his. Quiet talks of dreams and eventualities. Ignoring the gaping absence of a third at between you.

Tonight though, you’re not sure when the topic had changed. Somewhere between the last dregs of the first bottle and the beginning of the second, the conversation had grown more sombre than usual. Talk of love and relationships always seemed to make the air heavier around the two of you, for different reasons. A stark air of loneliness that not even the most tart of white wine could overpower.

You had offhandedly mentioned turning down one of the windows you had met on your last mission. He had been younger than you, still full of life where the holes in yourself had long since emptied it out. You had shaken your head, flattered, but tired. There were better options for a man like him, still full of hope and vitality, a whole life ahead of him… when you knew any day yours could be cut deftly short.

You had told yourself it had little to do with the fact that the man’s bright smile had reminded you of another, so many years ago.

In the quiet of Nanami’s living room, swirling the last drops of your wine in your glass, you had mentioned that you had no real desire for relationships anymore. Other than sex, of course, but only sexual. A temporary release, one of the few you had left. Nameless faces and hurried touches. Sometimes clinical, sometimes primal. Always quick, and never the same person twice.

You know?

To which Nanami had replied, “No.”

Misunderstanding the gravity of what he was saying, you had raised an eyebrow, a curious smile playing at your lips. “Not one for one-night stands?”

It occurs to you distantly that you don’t know a lot about Nanami’s romantic life. Close as you two were, or so you liked to believe, he had never really mentioned it. And you had never asked.

Nanami had shook his head in response to your question, and you had nodded. It aligned with his character, you thought. As cold and stoic as he liked to act, you couldn’t imagine a world where he would use and discard someone. He felt too much, cared too much. He would love too much too, if given the chance. If he gave himself the chance.

In your musings, you had almost missed what he had murmured next.

“I’ve never had sex at all.”

Kento Nanami. A virgin.

The confession has your lips parting, your eyes blinking. Once, then twice, akin to an owl. You glance down at your wine glass for a moment, as if it had been the slightly smeared glass that had been speaking to you instead, and not the esteemed stoic sorcerer you had known for the better part of ten years.

You look over at Nanami on the couch, but he’s staring at the carpet, his expression contemplative, almost pensive. His brows are drawn taut, a small knit on his forehead. His lips are drawn into a thin line, a slight crease in his chin. There was a specific emotion dancing in his eyes. You almost dared to use the word vulnerable.

It seems… ridiculous. Nanami? Attractive as he was? Kind, considerate, hard-working, to a degree. A woman’s dream. In another life, perhaps your dream too.

Had it not been for Nanami’s serious demeanour, and the fact that ‘joke’ and ‘Nanami’ rarely went together in the same sentence, you might have thought he was pulling your leg. A joke between friends.

But he wasn’t. He very clearly wasn’t.

“That’s… fine,” you finally say after a small moment, fearing you had let the silence linger too long. “There’s no rush for these things.”

Nanami’s hum is short and clipped. Gruff, almost. He still refuses to meet your eye for now, and you make no move to change that. You get the distinct feeling that this newfound vulnerability doesn’t stem from him never having sex, but rather, the reason why he’s denied himself - because you know for a fact it has little to do with opportunity.

You had lost track of how many women you had watched Nanami turn down, clipped and short, yet always polite.

The silence is heavy between you. In the other room, you can hear the hum of his refrigerator, the buzz of the bulbs in the lights. Nanami’s apartment has always been quiet, but this silence feels suffocating. Paired with the wine, your head feels thick, your tongue thicker.

A few moments pass, and as the revelation of his virginity settles into your stomach like seltzer water, you realise… it makes sense. Nanami wasn’t the type to use someone for sex, even if eager. He’d only have sex with someone he was in love with. Someone he trusted at the very least.

And Nanami, as he had told you and a few others before, refused to entertain the thought of love whilst he was a sorcerer. No one with two working brain cells needed to ask why. He wasn’t alone in that choice, either.

You toy with the stem of your wineglass whilst you toy with a reoccurring thought in your mind, one that you entertained often, but had yet to voice aloud.

“You shouldn’t keep depriving yourself, Kento,” you say quietly. The use of his first name, rarely used in your adulthood, garners you a glance from him. It’s a small sign that you’re taking this seriously.

“I’m not deprived of anything.”

You scoff at that, small and quiet. “You deprive yourself of a lot, apart from pain,” you drawl, setting your wine glass down on the coffee table. Like always, the wine and Nanami’s masochistic tendencies have your tongue loosening more than it should. “I understand not wanting to have sex with anyone you’re not in a committed relationship with. It’s kind of… admirable, and definitely you.” You fold your arms across your chest, fixing him with a stare that he still refuses to meet head-on. “But why deny yourself the chance of love?”

In the back of your mind somewhere is a voice chanting ‘hypocrite’, but you ignore it. Nanami, however, does not.

He finally turns his head to face you, the lines underneath his eyes seemingly heavier in the dim light of his apartment. An eyebrow arches. “And meaningless sex is different?”

You scoff again, louder this time. “It’s not meaningless just because I don’t love my partner.”

“Or even know their name?”

You raise a sharp eyebrow, your own lips now pressing into a thin line. A part of you wants to retort, to snap, but you remember the vulnerability in his face from a few moments ago, and you just about hold your tongue.

With an exhale, you grab the half-empty wine bottle off of the coffee table instead and gesture for Nanami to hold out his glass. He does, and the glug of the wine fills the space between you.

“You ever thought about it?” You ask, filling up your own glass. In your peripheral, you see him sit quietly for a moment before he nods his head.

“I’m only human.”

You hum. “You should experience it,” you add. You swirl the wine in your glass once before bringing it up to your lips. “Even once. Even if it means nothing.”

With one glance, you can tell immediately that the idea doesn’t sit right with him. It was easy to forget sometimes how rigid and traditional he could be. Formalities that few seemed to care about these days. Always on the things you least expected.

“I couldn’t,” Nanami replies, shaking his head.

Oddly, you feel the desire to insist. Days of a sorcerer were short, and getting shorter every year. Younger than yourself and Nanami had already died long before they would ever have the opportunity to touch another, kiss another; to feel the warmth of a body against your own. They would never know what that distinct pleasure was like, even if they desperately wanted to. Time was infinite to the young, until it wasn’t.

It occurs to you quickly that you’re thinking of Haibara, and everything you and Nanami had experienced that he never would.

Something must show in your expression because Nanami raises an eyebrow at you. You swallow, before setting your glass back down on the coffee table with a dull clink. You look at him, your face surprisingly collected and casual for what you’re about to ask.

“What about me?”

Nanami’s questioning look only deepens for a moment, before something passes by his eyes. His lips part, his version of a falter. You know he knows what you’re implying, but still, he asks, “…what about you?”

“What if we had sex?” You say without hesitation. “You know me. You trust me.”

Nanami falters further. He straightens in his seat, his glass resting on his thigh, the thick muscle straining against his slacks. His whole body is thick with a tension you usually only see before a fight with a particularly highly graded curse. A vein protrudes from his neck.

His eyes flick between your face and your own glass, clearly wondering if it is time to call this night done, but you rise from your seat before he can, taking a small step toward the couch he’s sitting on.

You sit down next to him, a little closer than you usually might. He doesn’t move away. Your thigh brushes against his, and this close, you can hear his breath hitch in response.

“I’m not going to push this any further, Kento,” you say quietly, “but I’m letting you know it’s an option.”

Although you and Kento were hardly affectionate with one another like most friends, you decided to take a chance tonight. You had already taken several, what was one more?

Reaching out, you take his glass from his hand and set it next to yours on the coffee table. Hesitating only a moment, you place your hand on top of his, your fingers curling around until your fingertips touch his palm.

His hand is stiff and warm underneath your own. The bones and knuckles press against your skin.

Something in the back of your mind is wondering why you’re pushing this at all. Would it matter if Nanami died without experiencing the pleasures of the body, really? Would the world stop turning for either of you? You know if Nanami really wanted to, if he felt the want, the desire - then he could leave this apartment right now and find someone willing, someone other than you. He could have done so years ago, during those few years he had masqueraded as a normal human being with a nine-to-five.

You were risking a friendship over… what? The implied hopes and dreams of a dead fifteen-year-old? Haibara was dead. It didn’t matter to him whether Nanami experienced the things he never could.

Nanami’s gaze flickers between your eyes for a moment, and this close, you can see the faint traces of the wine staining his lips. Your gaze must linger for a touch too long because his tongue swipes across his bottom lip. The pink skin glistens with the faint glimmer of his saliva.

When you look up, you see his eyes trained on your own lips, before they quickly flick back up to meet your eyes.

“We’re friends,” he murmurs, his voice low, slightly thick.

“And we always will be,” you reply.

He glances down at your hands. Somewhere between your own thoughts and Nanami’s reiteration of your friendship, your hands had interlocked, fingers intertwined like vines. He was gripping your hand a little too tightly to be comfortable, but you didn’t flinch.

You’re not sure whether it had been your subconscious doing, or his.

“I… can’t,” Nanami mutters finally, closing his eyes for a moment. “Not like this. Not… now.”

Something clenches in your heart at his rejection, although you had expected it. You’re not sure if it’s because he’s denying you, or himself.

You smile softly nonetheless and nod. “If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me,” you say quietly, going to pull your hand from his grip and give him some space.

Only he doesn’t let go. If anything, his grip tightens slightly.

Your eyes flick between his hand and his eyes, still trained on your face. You raise an eyebrow, your lips parting to speak, but he beats you to it.

“But I’d like to kiss you.”

Something resembling a very quiet ‘uh’ pushes past your lips in a long exhale.

You’re not sure why the idea of kissing him felt more… intimate than the fact that you had offered your body to him only seconds prior. You’re not sure why there’s a prickle of heat at the back of your neck or your lips burn with a sudden need.

“Nanam-“

As if remembering himself, he shakes his head slightly, blinking away whatever stupor had just possessed him. He looks away, his grip on your hand loosening, but not quite pulling away.

“I… don’t know why I said that,” he mumbles. “You should go-“

Your free hand is already gripping his chin, turning his face toward yours a little too sharply. A subtle grunt leaves his throat as he looks at you, his gaze foggier than usual. From the wine, you, or the whole situation? Who knows.

Fingers against his neck, feeling the quickened thrum of his pulse, your thumb brushes against his chin, pulling the skin until his lips naturally part. You feel Nanami’s shaky exhale against your lips as you lean forward, warmth breath mingling with yours, the scent of wine heavy on the air.

You close the distance slowly, giving him time to stop this, to pull or push away. To draw an end to this nonsense before it went any further.

Instead of pulling back or pushing you away, he closes the gap so quickly your noses almost bump together.

The first press of his lips against you feels hurried and unsure. It’s off-center slightly, barely hitting the corner of your mouth, but Nanami is quick to correct it. He slots his lips against yours more firmly the second time, his lips parting to capture yours fully. You feel a rush of air against your cheek as he exhales through his nose.

The kiss is unhurried, curious almost, yet there’s a subtle urgency in it that surprises you. Your free hand moves from his chin to his jaw, fingertips softly caressing the sharp curve of it. The sound and feel of his sigh against your lips makes you shiver, and you become enamoured with it.

Enamoured with him.

You part your lips further, your tongue swiping against his bottom lip, finally tasting the remnants of the wine that you had spotted earlier. An odd sound builds at the back of his throat before his mouth parts too, his tongue brushing against yours.

Something changes quickly then. His hand, larger than you ever really noticed, cups the back of your neck, his calloused thumb pressing against your jaw, drawing you closer. Your other hands, still intertwined, seem to tighten around one another like a snake's coils. The wet smacks of your lips grow louder in the quiet of his apartment, just about overriding the sound of increasingly ragged breaths, borderline panting.

Your head feels thick. Dizzy. The kiss is indulgent, almost sloppy now. Nanami’s tongue is in your mouth, exploring every crevice, tasting you with an eagerness you hadn’t thought he was capable of. Every time you brush your tongue against his, your taste buds wetly sliding against his own, a small sound rumbles in the back of his throat, somewhere between a groan and grumble.

After a moment that feels like an eternity too short, you pull back slightly, just enough to see his eyes as you open yours. Nanami denies you this, however, because when you open your eyes, his are still closed, almost scrunched. A faint frown tugs at his brow.

He leans forward until his forehead rests against yours. The heat of his skin against yours feels searing, your noses softly brushing against one another’s. He sighs deeply, as if pulled from the back of his chest. It almost sounds like defeat.

“Kento-“

“I want you,” he breathes out, and your voice almost hitches as you feel rather than hear his voice. It’s a deep, husky sound, more rumble than syllable. But there’s a crack in his tone belying a raw vulnerability that you weren’t familiar with. Not from him.

His eyes finally open, looking up at you from underneath his brow. His hazel eyes are almost black, you realise, the familiar colour you’ve always admired swallowed up by a sea of coal. You wonder if yours are the same.

He’s trembling too. You can feel his fingertips shake where they press against the nape of your neck.

“I thought you didn’t want… this,” you murmur. ‘Sex’ suddenly feels too…

“I changed my mind,” he replies, a touch too quickly for you to believe that he was thinking clearly.

But God, did you want him too. You want him so fucking bad it almost makes you ache. Your feelings toward Nanami had always been friendly, respectful. He had been your closest friend, your ally, your confidant. You had been through so much together. You liked him, every part.

And somewhere along the way, between the four years apart as he pursued a different life and the first time you had hugged him when he finally returned, Gojo grinning over his shoulder… you think, that like had changed to love.

It quickly occurs to you that you weren’t pushing Nanami to experience sex for fear of him missing out. That was you. You were scared of missing out on him.

It’s that revelation that makes you pull back slightly, and Nanami’s eyes widen a little, some of the hazy fog clearing. His hand slides from the back of your neck, falling limply against the couch next to your thigh.

“I… I shouldn’t have put you in this position,” you mutter, glancing away, staring at the two wine glasses on the coffee table before looking back at him. “It’s your choice. Your first time should be on your terms, not because I think you’re missing out or depriving yourself.”

You go to remove your hand from his, but once again, his grip tightens, but there’s a tenderness to it this time. A gentle squeeze, almost begging you not to go. Not yet.

He looks serious now, staring at you squarely, as if about to deliver a mission report, and its the first familiar expression you’ve seen on his face thus far. He swallows thickly, the only thing belying his hesitation.

“I said I couldn’t have a one-night stand.”

You frown. “And th-“

“I don’t want this to be a one-night stand.”

Some of the breath flees your lungs as you look at him. His lips are still pink and slightly swollen from kissing, his cheeks still slightly flushed from the wine and your touch. You become distinctly aware of the scent of his cologne, faded but warm from his skin. It’s soft, smoky almost. You have the urge to bury his nose in the crook of his neck and breathe.

You know what he’s trying to say, what he’s trying to ask. You know what he wants because you want it too. You realise you’ve wanted it for a long damn time.

Words fail you. They feel… inadequate to describe what you’re feeling, what you desire, what you’ve always desired buried down underneath the guilt and trauma.

But you still can’t bring yourself to say it out loud. Not here. Not yet.

And neither can he.

You’re not sure who makes the first move, all you know is that your lips are pressed against his and he moans into your mouth as if something had finally let go. It’s like a cork had finally been released, a lifetime of pent-up feelings pouring out in one gush.

His hand is back at the nape of your neck, holding you tightly this time, unwilling to let go. His lips part more readily with every press, his tongue seeking yours with a pinpoint determination. You skip his jaw this time altogether, aiming straight for his hair that you’ve been dying to touch since… you don’t know when.

The hand that had been holding yours hostage finally releases, only so his fingers can brush against your waist. His fingers brush against your ribs through your clothes, tugging you closer until you’re rising up onto your knees on the couch just to oblige. He’s tilting back, his broad shoulders bumping against the couch cushions behind him - and it’s only distantly you register it’s because you’re pushing him back against it.

Something shouts at you in the back of your mind to take your time, to savour this, to savour him. You may want each other badly, but this is Nanami’s first time. It should be done carefully, respectfully, the way he would treat you if this position had been reversed.

But then Nanami’s hand has moved from your waist to your thigh, blindly grabbing it as he pulls it over his lap. Before you know it, you’re straddling his hips with a huff against his lips, and something like a sharp, pained groan leaves his lips.

You pull away from his lips with a ragged breath, concern knitting your brow until you realise what the cause of his groan was.

Straddling him, you can feel the pulse of his desire underneath you, the hard ridge of the bulge in his pants pressing insistently against your core through your own clothes. One hand is grabbing your hip tightly, almost too tight, as his forehead rests against your shoulder. The other hand is on your thigh, his thumb digging into the plush flesh there.

His breathing is ragged, extremely so. Hot puffs fall against your skin. You weave your fingers through his hair softly, and you watch with reverence as a strong shudder rolls down his spine in response.

“We can stop, if you’d like,” you murmur against his ear, going to rise up on your knees to give him a little breathing room.

“Don’t,” he grunts, the grip on your hip and thigh quickly stopping you. He exhales again, a shaky sound as he keeps his forehead stamped against your shoulder. His voice emerges again, barely audible, slightly pained. “...I’ve wanted this for so long.”

Your grip in his hair tightens in response. In a flood, memories of him rush through your mind. A thousand different glances, subtle touches, small clues. Even in school, the way he would linger, a touch closer every time Suguru or Satoru would appear. The hand at the bottom of your back in a restaurant. The way he would lean in to hear you in a crowded place.

The way his arms had tightened around you when he had returned after four years away. I missed you too, almost inaudible against your ear.

Nanami didn’t want a one-night stand. What was the point of sex at all, if it wasn’t with you?

The thought has you rolling your hips down against his before you can stop yourself, feeling the firm length of his cock grind against your core. A moan leaves your lips, and something guttural leaves his.

The hand on your thigh moves up to your other hip, pulling you down tighter against him as if he could slide inside you right now. “Don’t tease,” he hisses between clenched teeth. He turns his head slightly, his lips brushing against your neck. He leaves a searing, open-mouthed kiss against your pulse point. “Not now, not after this long.”

“You think you’re the only one who waited?” You pant as you grind again, firmer this time. His hips buck against yours in response, a muffled groan leaving his lips, imprinted against your neck. You can feel his cock throb against you, twitching against the fabric that separates you.

“…you wanted this too?” He breathes out after a moment.

You nod, though you doubt he can see it from the way his face is buried against the crook of your neck. “Since you came back. Since you hugged me back and said you missed me.”

His hands move from your hips to wrap tightly around your waist as if he couldn’t bear for a single slither of space to be left between you two. His hips jut up against you once again, a ragged breath leaving his lips. It seems the idea of you wanting him for so long the same as he had the same effect on him as it had on you. If not more.

He holds you a little tighter, running the sharp point of his nose along your throat as he tilts his head up. Finally, finally, he breaks free of your neck to look up at you, lips parted, eyes almost desperate.

With a thick swallow, Adam’s apple bobbing, he goes to say something but falters, and murmurs your name instead. His dark eyes flick between your eyes and your lips. His cock twitches underneath you.

“Please,” is all he can croak out, and the moan that almost leaves your lips would have been primal.

You nod your head, giving his shoulders a small squeeze, pushing him back slightly. He seems reluctant to let go, but finally relents after a little insistence, reclining back against the couch. His arms unwind and his hands drop to your hips. He looks up at you, clearly waiting for your lead.

You sit back slightly on his parted thighs, the muscles firm and supportive underneath you. Letting your hands fall from his shoulders, you drag your fingertips slowly down over the expanse of his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin through his wrinkled shirt. As your fingers skate over his abdomen, you feel the muscles flex and roll. Nanami looks at you readily.

“We should do this properly,” you murmur, your eyes trained on the lower buttons of his shirt, near the waistband of his slacks. “In a bed.”

Nanami, to your surprise, shakes his head quickly, giving your hips a small squeeze. “We’ve waited long enough.”

You raise an eyebrow but don’t disagree. Despite the need, the ache, the pulse of your own core, you can’t help but think of if the positions were reversed. The image of candles, roses and soft music fills your mind, Nanami’s guiding hands and murmured praises. It would be slow and romantic. Perfect.

“Nanami,” you breathe out, almost chastising. With the way his cock is pressing against you, you have no doubt he’s not thinking clearly right now; the thought of having what he had wanted for so long within his grasp clouding rational thought.

He shakes his head again, a lock of his mussed hair tickling his brow. “Next time.” He shifts, sliding down the couch a little more and spreading his thighs - and in turn, spreading yours. He grips your hips tighter, pulling you a little closer until you’re seated right on top of him. “Next time,” he repeats in a groan. “We’ll go slow. I’ll explore every inch of you, taste you. Now, I just want…” He exhales an unsteady breath, sounding like your name. “I just want you.”

Your fingers linger near his shirt's lower button, and one of Nanami’s hands unclasps itself from your hip to gently grasp your wrist. He guides your fingertips to the belt buckle, the metal cool against your hot fingers.

You meet his eyes once more, and his gaze is a paradox of firmness and vulnerability. He’s nervous, you think, but ready. Almost desperately so.

Without another word, your other hand reaches down to join your other one, and your fingers are surprisingly deft as you slide the leather through the metal. Nanami watches your hands with rapt attention until the belt is loose. Your fingers slide over the metal button of his slacks, and you don’t check in this time. You pop it open before sliding his zipper down, the crackle of the metal teeth as loud as a gunshot between you.

A small sigh of what you think is relief leaves his lips as the fabric parts, giving you a small glimpse of the dark boxers underneath, straining over his cock. A small wet patch blooms at the top, wear his tip would be, and a shudder runs through you.

Your fingers tuck into the waistband of his underwear, lingering for a moment. You look up at him at the same time he looks up at you. Without a sound, Nanami lifts his hips and you rise up to your knees.

With a few firm tugs, you manage to inch his slacks and boxers down enough to free him. A small huff leaves his lips as the cooler air of the apartment hits his overheated flesh, and you watch in rapt attention as his cock twitches, the flushed tip glistening already.

It’s longer than you expected. Thicker too. Uncut. A prominent vein runs up the underside of it, and you have the sudden urge to follow it with your finger, or your tongue.

Nanami shifts underneath you, and you realise you’ve been staring a touch too long.

You pull your eyes away from his cock to meet his eyes, and his breathing seemed to have quickened. Anticipation is making him stiff, almost antsy, a rare sight on a man you’ve rarely ever seen anything of other than composed.

It’s endearing.

Reaching down, you satisfy your own urge and run your fingertip up his shaft, following the vein, feeling it pulse steadily to the rhythm of his heart. Nanami’s hips twitch, his eyelids fluttering. Dark eyelashes tickle his cheeks.

When you curl your fingers around him, gripping him firmly at the base, his eyes shoot open, snapping to the sight of him in your palm. You give him one pull upwards, and a bead of pre-cum wells in the divot of his slit.

“Fuck,” comes out in a very quiet, gruff choke. Your eyebrows rise in surprise, a small smile on your lips. Nanami didn’t always curse, and especially not like that.

“Language, Nanami,” you tease, and his eyes flick up to you, something indignant and impatient in his eyes. You usually weren’t one to tease, and he wasn’t one to be teased.

You continue to stroke him slowly for a moment, rubbing your thumb against the sensitive tip. You fingers quickly become tacky, the glide of your hand more fluid, until the lewd wet noise starts to rise to the same level as Nanami’s breathing. He grunts with every upward stroke, his hips twitching underneath you. Had it not been for your weight on top of him, you get the distinct feeling he’d be bucking up into your palm a little more eagerly. His head falls back against the couch, lips parted, his eyes fluttering closed once more as he relaxes more into the sensation.

It occurs to you that you’ve seldom seen Nanami this relaxed.

“Are you sure you want to do this here?” you ask, “with me on top?”

He nods but doesn’t open his eyes. His hands run up from your hips to your waist, a soft caress. “It’ll be… easier for me- hah-“ Another choked groan leaves his lips as you give the head of his cock a small squeeze, and Nanami’s hand flies to your wrist in a blink, stopping you from making another move.

You feel his cock throbbing in your grasp, and Nanami’s straight-up panting now, his eyes slightly wild as he tilts his head up to look at you. It’s an arousing reality to know that you had just pushed Nanami dangerously close to the edge without even meaning to.

“I won’t last,” he murmurs, looking up at you, his eyes shining.

You realise quickly that he’s actually asking a question. Are you sure?

“This time,” you reply with a small smile. With his hand still around your wrist, you give his cock another squeeze, and he grits his teeth, that vein in his neck protruding once more. You can see the taut muscles in his abdomen flexing from where his shirt has bunched up.

As much as the idea of making Nanami cum, right here, right now, appeals to you, you relent for now. You’d love nothing more than to watch him spill into your palm, to see the euphoria and bliss play out on his face… but that was for another time. The next time, perhaps.

You release his cock, letting it fall back against his lower stomach with a dull smack, making him hiss through his teeth. Leaning forward, you brush your lips against his throat, nipping at the skin softly.

You guide his hands to the waistband of your own bottoms, and he wastes little time in following your unspoken order. The press of your lips against his throat clearly distracts him, but he manages to pull down your clothes enough to leave you in your underwear. You kick them off the sofa haphazardly, not leaving his neck for a single moment.

He catches you off guard when his hand immediately dives for your sex, cupping your heat through the dampened fabric. You stutter against his neck, gripping onto his shoulders for support in response.

Your eyelids close, goosebumps erupting across your skin as you feel just how wet you are. “Nanami,” you gasp.

“Kento,” he whispers quickly. Once, then twice, he rubs his palm along your clothed pussy, something guttural building in the back of his throat as you buck down into his touch. “You’re… so wet.”

The wet spot on the fabric clings tightly to your folds, doing very little to dampen the sensation of his touch. His fingers are exploratory, a tentativeness that belies his lack of experience with this, but his touch, the fact it’s him, here and now, makes up for it all.

You can’t remember the last time you enjoyed a touch such as this. Not like this.

Despite toying with Nanami’s cock until he almost burst, hypocritical impatience gets the better of you, and you remove your hand from his shoulders to tug down your own underwear, kicking it off to join the growing pile on the floor. Bare from the waist down, Nanami’s eyes roam over the exposed skin almost hungrily.

Both calloused hands run up your thighs, pressing into the soft flesh slightly. You see his hand move for your pussy once more, but your fingers are curling back around his cock again before he can distract you.

Next time, keep parroting in your mind. Next time you can both endure hours of foreplay; touching, kissing, tasting, the whole nine yards. You promise to make him cry out before he even sinks inside you, to run your tongue along every inch of his skin until you’re sick of the taste of him. You’d know he’d do the same.

But you two had waited long enough.

Gripping the base of his cock again, you brush it up against your heat, your own slick smearing across him. Nanami’s eyes almost roll back into his head, but he closes his lids before you witness it. You’re faring little better, the mere sensation of having him against you like this, the tip of his cock rubbing up against your clit sending you dizzy. You angle your hips, and just feeling the thick head press against the tight, slick ring of muscle is enough for a moan to already tumble past your lips.

Something flickers in Nanami’s gaze as he opens his eyes again, honing in on the sight of you braced above him like this. He grips your hips, his touch light, merely supporting you for now. You look back once into his eyes, and go to check in just once more, but he leans forward, capturing your lips in a kiss that’s little more than teeth and raw need.

His lips pressed against yours, you sink down, the wider head of his cock slipping inside you. Your lips part in a soundless gasp against his mouth, swallowing the ragged groan that leaves his throat. The stretch is slightly more than you’re prepared for. Distantly, you think, skipping foreplay wasn’t the wisest idea, but desperation, need, pushes you forward regardless.

So you sink down further, inch by inch, and as he slides deeper and deeper, his grip on your hips grows tighter and tighter, until the force of his fingers dulls the ache of his cock kissing your cervix.

“Oh, fuck,” you gasp as you finally bottom out, hips sitting on top of his. You realise you’re breathless, and that cowgirl might not have been the best position for taking someone of his size. Certainly not in one go, like you just had.

Nanami is fairing no better. His mouth is agape, his biceps trembling where he clings to you. He seems dazed, winded, panting into your mouth as his arms wind against you. He pulls you forward, and you both moan as his cock seems to slide just that little bit deeper.

You’re dizzy, strained, stretched out far more than you can ever remember being before. Your eyes are scrunched closed, your forehead knocking against his. Everything feels distant and muffled. It takes you a moment to realise Nanami’s muttering something repeatedly in fragmented gasps.

When you open your eyes, he’s looking at you almost panicked, his eyebrows knitted upward. His teeth are bared, gritted - and it’s now you notice that you’re clenching around him so tight that you’re not sure if you’re causing him more discomfort than pleasure.

You swallow thickly, trying to catch your breath. You’re flushed, prickly heat blooming across your chest and neck. You shift a little, and something pained rumbles from the back of Nanami’s chest in response.

“Do you want me to stop or-“

“Don’t,” he grunts, his fingers shaking against your back. “Don’t move.”

The throb of his cock inside you is insistent, and it takes everything in you not to clench tighter around him in response. You know he’s close, dangerously close, and as much as you want to rise up on your knees and slam yourself down on his cock until he’s begging you to stop, you clench your jaw and relax.

You bury your face in the crook of his neck, kissing his skin softly; small pecks and affectionate touches. He shivers, and his cock still pulses, but slowly, muscle by muscle, he relaxes too, ragged pants dissolving into hot, muted breaths. His arms around you loosen, holding now, not gripping.

“Tell me when you want me to move,” you whisper against his ear, pressing a small kiss to the lobe.

He nods, brushing his cheek against yours with a soft sigh. His hand moves from your back upward, until he cups the back of your head, drawing your lips back to his. It’s a soft kiss, loving; slow and sensual slides of wet skin mingling with gentle exhales. Before you know it, and before he says, you’re rolling your hips greedily, just grinding against him for now.

A guttural sound leaves his lips. His forehead feels hot and sticky pressed against yours like this, a strand of his hair tickling your cheek.

You feel his thighs shift, widening as far as the slacks still around his thighs can allow, feet planted more firmly into the carpet. The first roll of his hips is disjointed, off rhythm with your own, but the slight drag of his cock against your walls has you moaning brokenly. The second roll, a little more confident, has you pressing your hips down to meet it, and your back arches like a cat.

“Fuck yes,” you moan, your voice thick and throaty. You moan his name, wait for the third shallow thrust, and meet it. “You feel so fucking good.”

He looks up at you like you hung the stars, his eyes widening at the sound of his name tumbling past your lips like a fractured halo. He loses his rhythm, but you soon pick it back up for him, starting to use your thighs to slide more eagerly down his cock. It’s still shallow, Nanami’s arms around your waist preventing you from really going for it, but you’re unwilling to part from the closeness for now.

You bounce a few inches at a time, the dull clap of your hips and the lewd squelch of your hot cunt wrapped tight around him filling the air of the apartment. With each bounce, a grunt pushes out from his chest, hot breath fanning across your face.

Nanami, though inexperienced, starts to let his body guide him. His hips buck up to meet you more confidently, and the growing force of his movements has you keening, fingernails biting into his shoulders.

You look square into his hooded eyes, breath mingling, and see the flush across his skin, his lips glistening with saliva. You moan again, higher pitched this time, and Nanami’s next thrust has you jolting up a little, nose bumping against his. You clench around him again, and his brow knits together.

“S-Shit,” he pants, his hips starting to jolt more readily, pushing a little too forcefully into you, quickly losing his rhythm. “I’m not… I’m not going to last…” His movements quicken, grow more erratic, and you’re not even sure he realises. “… you’re so fucking… tight.”

The last part is little more than a throaty whisper, his voice cracking. You stop meeting his thrusts and instead, widen your stance, tighten your core, and let him take what he needs. The movement, though small, isn’t lost on him, and he looks up at you, emotion swimming heavily in his dark gaze.

He thrusts up grow more erratic, sloppier, something like a grunt leaving his mouth with every dull thwap of his hips against your ass. His arms tighten around you, fingertips pressing into your skin. A groan, a hiss, and a swallow. The couch creaks and strains.

“N-Next time - hah - next time… I want t-to feel you cum around me,” he pants, his arms starting to shake. “I’ll give you everything, anything, fuck, I-I’ll keep going until… until… God-“

He’s barely pulling out now, a mere inch is all he’s moving, the head of his cock bullying against the soft spot right next to your cervix. Choked, high-pitch moans are the only sounds you can make, and you distantly note you’ve never sounded like before. Not ever.

You’re getting there, you realise. Not quite close, and definitely not as close as him, but the way his cock fits inside you, the slap of his hips against you, the way he’s looking at you… it’s pushing you there fast.

But it’s not quite enough.

“I’m close,” he gasps. “I… where…”

“Inside,” you reply without hesitation. Something passes by his eyes, a small flicker of concern, perhaps, swimming in the sea of lust and arousal. You try to find your bearings enough to tell him it’s okay, you wouldn’t have taken him inside if you weren’t protected-

-but then his cock is twitching inside you, and Nanami is shaking, shaking underneath you, his thighs jolting, nearly bucking you off his lap altogether.

With one last slam of his hips against you, buried as deep as he could possibly ago, a long, primal groan leaves him. It’s deep, visceral, easily mistaken for something pained - and it might be the most divine fucking sound you’ve ever heard in your life.

He buries his face against your throat as his hips buck involuntarily a few times, and you shiver as you feel that familiar warmth bloom inside you. He’s giving you everything, or what feels like it. Your pussy flutters around him, and his fingertips press into you so tight you wouldn’t be surprised to see bruises.

His heart is hammering against your chest, the thump pounding even in your own chest. Ragged pants and a heavy quiet settles over the living room. His cock continues to twitch inside you, growing weaker with every thud of his heart.

Nanami doesn’t pull his head from your throat for a long while, his nose pressing into your skin as he pants against you.

After a moment, he finally swallows. “… I’m sorry,” he mutters. “I… I should have made you-“

“Shut up,” you murmur against his warm hair, breathing in the faint scent of sweat and his shampoo. He seems to get the picture, of what you were trying to say. He always did. “Next time,” you add anyway, just to be sure.

He lifts his head from your skin, looking up at you blearily. You smile fondly as you see his face again, the harsh lines on his brow and his eyes smoother now, no longer creased as they always seemed to be. He looks… so much younger, you think, like this. Relaxed. Sated.

You brush some of his sweaty hair out of his face, and his eyelids flutter at the brief contact. He seems exhausted, you think.

“I meant what I said,” he murmurs as he looks up at you. “I don’t want this to…” His palm moves against your back, sliding down your spine. “I want you. Properly. I always have.” He swallows. “Always.”

Your eyes soften. He looks at you expectantly, almost vulnerably.

“You have me,” you murmur in reply, finally. “Properly.”

A small smile tugs at his lips, and it’s warmer than you’ve ever seen before. Genuine. Light. It’s as if a decade of weight lifts from his broad shoulders, if only briefly.

He pulls you close once more, his lips pressing against yours softly, lovingly, and the world seems to fade away.

For now, of course.

masterlist.

#nanami x reader #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #kento nanami x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #nanami #kento nanami

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iamasimperyk · 2 months

Note

A good fic idea maybe his ex wife comes over and the reader is over and the wife goes crazy saying that her and rafe are talking again or spent the night together and he’s not home so she leaves because she doesn’t want to start anything so rafe has to find the reader

Sorry that I couldn’t work on your request earlier but I hope you still like what I made out of it!💕

Crazy Ex -Rafe Cameron

Warnings: Manipulation, naive reader, angst, assumption of cheating, English is not my first language, not proof read

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

You have never had a problem with the fact that Rafe had already been married once. You met him at work, and the two of you immediately had some kind of connection. You were the complete opposite of his ex-wife, maybe that was what drew him towards you.

After months of talking, you two got into a relationship, and you were nothing but happy. Rafe loved you, and you loved him, it was like a fairytale.

But in every fairytale, there was a villain, and the villain in your story was Rafe's ex-wife. She tried to get him back on multiple occasions, but Rafe just turned her down.

Today, Rafe was on a business trip, leaving you alone at Tannyhill. Exhausted, you lay on the sofa, a blanket wrapped around your body as you watched one of your favorite movies.

You let out a yawn when the doorbell suddenly rang. With a small frown, you stood up, walking to the front door before you carefully opened it.

There she was. Rafe's ex-wife. 5'7 feet tall, platin blonde hair, curves at the right place, expensive clothes, and an annoyed look on her face. You looked down at yourself, wrapping the blanket tighter around your body, suddenly feeling insecure about your own appearance.

"Well, hello," She smirked down at you, "I see, Rafe, still didn't get rid of you."

You slightly gulped, "Rafe is not here. He is in Tennessee."

"Well, that's what he told you, but what if I tell you that we started talking again." Her smirk was even bigger than before.

"He would never do that. We both know that." You crossed your arms over your chest.

"Why don't you take a look at his location, sweetie?" She told you.

Immediately, you started chewing on your lower lip, a thing you always did when you were nervous. You couldn't believe your eyes when you saw his location. He was at hers.

"Told you. Why don't you start packing your shit? I will move in again in a few days." She hissed, walking towards her car before she drove off.

After a small breakdown at the front door, you packed your most important stuff and left.

You didn't even text Rafe. You just wanted to be alone and at peace.

----

The next day Rafe came home.

"Y/n, I am back." He smiled, waiting for you to run downstairs, but you never did. He started to shout your name again and again until he finally realized you were gone.

Quickly, he called you, but you didn't pick up. After he sent you hundreds of messages, he thought about checking your location.

Your parents' house. Of course.

He ran to his car and drove to their house.

Your mom opened the door, wanting to shut it as soon as she saw him, "Y/m/n, please, I need to talk to her." He pleaded, still not knowing what he did wrong.

"But she doesn't want to talk to you." Your mother replied angrily.

After a few seconds of silence, you appeared behind her, "It's okay, Mom."

"Are you sure?" She asked, her eyes not leaving Rafe.

You gave her a small nod, and she disappeared into the living room.

"Why didn't you answer my calls?" He asked desperately.

"Because I didn't wanna talk to you." You simply answered.

Rafe looked at you, taking a step closer, "What did I do?"

"You lied to me about your trip to Tennessee." You mumbled.

He quickly shook his head, "No, why would you say this?"

"Oh, please, I saw your location. You were at your ex-wife's." You started to fiddle with your fingers.

Rafe's eyes widen, "You have to believe me when I tell you I never was there after we divorced."

"I saw it with my own eyes. She came when you were gone and-" You started, but Rafe was quick to interrupt you.

"She came when I was gone? Just to tell you that I am at her place?" He asked, and you just nodded.

"Don't you hear how ridiculous that sounds?" He sighed, and you finally started to think about the situation.

"B-but she-" You started but couldn't find the right words.

"I don't know how she faked my location, but I promise I never lied to you. I love you." He smiled a little, wrapping his arms around you.

"I am so stupid. I am sorry." You mumbled, feeling extremely guilty to believe his manipulative ex-wife.

"It's okay, just don't run away the next time she tells you shit." He chuckled.

"Promise," You kissed him, "Oh, and I have to make sure my parents won‘t kill you.“

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe x you #rafe x reader #rafe x y/n #obx #outer banks #outer banks x you #outer banks x y/n #outer banks x reader #outerbanks rafe #angst

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apomaro-mellow · 11 months

Text

I finally wrote about stobin carhops

“I can’t believe we got another job using one resume”, Steve said.

“I can’t believe you said we were managers at Scoops”, Robin said.

“How are they gonna check, Robs?”

“Good point. You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

The new job at a local burger joint was decidedly in the ballpark of both of their abilities. The only drawback for Robin was....the skates.

“So these are a requirement? Not like, a suggestion?”, she asked, looking at the roller skates warily. Steve was already lacing up.

“They are in fact a requirement”, Cheryl, their current manager said.

Robin slipped and slid while on wheels. Which was why for about 90% of their first shift, she rolled along arm in arm with Steve.

“What’s even the point of having someone skate your food to you? I mean it seems like a total novelty. Purely for shits and giggles for customers.”

“You nailed it. It’s novelty.” As they rolled around the lot, Steve used the hand that was free to deliver food to the different cars. Robin used her free hand to write down the orders.

This system worked for about a week before Cheryl told them they couldn’t do that anymore. The very next day, Robin dropped five orders (two of which were on purpose) and was removed from her carhop responsibilities.

She kept her post at the register and the pick up window.

The uniform consisted of a white polo-style shirt with red accents. Most of the staff wore red pants to match. Some of the girls beat the heat with red shorts though.

“What are you wearing?”, Robin asked when Steve clocked in one day in those very same shorts.

“Uh, the uniform?”

“Uh-huh. Feelin’ the heat lately?”

“It’s been pretty warm the past few days”, Steve said.

“And I best the change has nothing to do with the fact Eddie said he’d be by on your lunch break today.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Steve tried to look neutral but his voice was way too chipper for someone who had to smell grease this early in the morning.

Robin knew for sure Eddie had arrived. She didn’t have a full view of the lot when she was at the register but she did see Steve lose control and skate right into a light pole. That could only mean Eddie was nearby. She let them have their lunch alone, knowing they would be sickeningly lovey-dovey the whole time.

-------------------------------------------

“You know....”, Steve started. “I bet Vickie would lose it if you were in shorts.”

“Actually, she said my teeth are my best feature”, Robin smiled wide.

“You two are so weird”, Steve laughed through it while mopping the floor.

“This from the guy who spent two whole hours staring at his boyfriend’s hands.”

“I didn’t-”

“TWO HOURS!”

------------------------------------

Steve let out a sigh when he saw that Eddie had driven Erica along as well.

“You already know”, Erica said. “Chocolate vanilla swirl.”

“Erica, I know I said free ice cream for life but-”

“But nothing. You thought you could get out of it by switching jobs. But karma always finds its way back.”

“I don’t think me working at a fast food place is karma. Right?”, Steve looked to Eddie, like he was worried this really was the work of cosmic forces.

“I don’t know...” Eddie leaned out of his open window to get a better look at Steve’s legs. “Feels like karma to me.”

Steve grinned when he noticed being checked out and leaned in towards the window. He opened his mouth but Erica beat him to it.

“You can flirt when you’re not on the clock. Ice cream. Chop chop!”

-------------------------------

It was a slow day for once, so Robin and Steve were sitting on the hood of his car, sharing some fries between them.

“What do you think our next job is gonna be?”, Steve asked.

“I think after this we should branch out. Maybe go for the federal government? Or at least look for managerial positions.”

“Would a place hire two managers at once?”

“One for the day shift and one for the night?”, Robin said, pointing at herself for day and Steve for night.

“But then we’re not gonna see each other.”

“Shoot, you’re right. What about working as mail carriers? You drive, I’ll put them in the box.”

“That’s actually perfect.”

“Great!”, Robin exclaimed. “So when this place burns down or gets destroyed by a quake-”

“Or a flood, or a tornado, or another fire-”

“Point is, we already know what our fallback is. And it’s perfect because everybody always needs mail.”

“It’s kind of crazy how we’ve never been fired. And that our past work places have been leveled”, Steve said. “I really think we could put anything on our resumes at this point.”

“Lemme get a couple of college credits before we start lying to get better jobs.”

“So another couple of months?”

“And you’ll be talking to the new CEO of something or other.”

“Co-CEO”, Steve reminded her, holding up a medium soda.

“Co-CEOs”, Robin tapped hers to his in a toast.

@little-gae-shit

#apo writes #stranger things #fanfiction #platonic stobin #steddie #robin buckley #steve harrington

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fruitr0llup · 3 months

Text

“no matter what.”

im nayeon x fem!twice 10th member reader; fluff

warnings: a HINT of angst if you squint, talk of disbandment

w/c: 747

a/n: i don’t like this fic but i’ll post it anyways </3 NOT PROOFREAD !!!!

it was saturday, and today was one of the days where all of the girls had an off day. they were rare, so most spent it with eachother, doing fun things around seoul, but a select few, including you, decided to stay at the dorm and rest.

you lounged on your bed, keen on spending your day off rotting in bed. you had scrolled through your phone for hours now, and honestly you were getting kind of bored. you were thinking of going to bother Mina, who had stayed behind, but figured she’d probably tell you to leave so that she could continue playing her game.

so instead, you kept scrolling, mindlessly wandering the internet. that’s until something caught your eye. It was an article on Jeongyeon’s interview with Bazzar earlier that week. You skimmed through the interview, curious to see what the older girl had said.

You stopped when you came across a question asking “Can you believe twice is in its 10th year?”

You felt your heart pang. No, you couldn’t believe that twice was in its tenth year. You couldn’t believe that you had spent ten years with these girls, who used to be strangers to you. it all felt so surreal.

you continued to read, wanting to know what Jeongyeon replied. You felt another pang in your heart reading what she answered. She replied, “How many more albums can we release as twice in the future? We can’t be active as twice forever. Of course, it would be nice if we could, but there will come a time when we each have to walk our own path. It’s not a given that we can prepare an album together like now.”

You set your phone down, getting lost in your thoughts. You hadn’t thought about what it would be like without twice. without your members. you’ve spent every waking hour with them since sixteen, and a world without them feels unreal. but Jeongyeons right, you can’t be twice forever. you’ll have to move on eventually.

just the thought makes you tear up. and in seconds, you have tears running down your face, ugly crying. you grab the tissue box by your bed and try to clean your face up, but failing as the tears continue to stream down your face.

you hear a knock on your door, “y/n-ah, are you okay?” it’s nayeon. she must have heard your wailing.

you sniffle, using all your strength to muster up a reply. “y-yes, nayeon un-unnie” you said through sniffles.

“y/n, you’re clearly not. i’m coming in.” she opens the door, revealing you sitting in your bed, your face red, tissues spewed everywhere, and snot running down your nose. her eyes soften instantly. “oh baby…” she walks over to you, sitting on your bed and pulling you into her embrace. “what’s wrong?” she asks, stroking your hair.

“what are we going to do, unnie…” you mutter. nayeon pulls away, looking at you softly.

“what do you mean?” at that, you start spewing out words. you express how you’re not ready for the future. how you don’t want to grow up. how frightened you are at the fact that it’s already been ten years, when it seemed like only yesterday you all debuted. and how scared you are that you’re going to lose all of them. your best friends.

nayeon looks at you with a pout. she takes your face in her hands and wipes your tears. “it will be okay, y/n-ah.” she says, stroking your hair.

“unnie, i don’t kn-know what i’m going to do without you g-guys..” you say, sobbing.

nayeon sighs. of course she’s thought about disbandment. she wasn’t ready for it either; none of them were. so she tells you what she had been telling herself. “y/n, no matter what happens. no matter what path we choose to take. we are always going to be twice. a silly disbandment won’t break our friendship. we’ll always have eachothers backs, and support each other in whatever we decide to do.”

you nod, hugging her again. she lays down on your bed, putting your head on her chest. “go to sleep, y/n… you’ve had a long day..” you nod, wiping a stray tear.

the two of you sit in silence for a while, before you speak up. “i love you, unnie…” you say, hugging her tighter.

nayeon rubs your back with her hand. “i love you too, y/n.”

you fall asleep, with nayeons comforting embrace assuring you that no matter what life brings you, you’ll always be together.

you’ll always be twice

#twice #twice imagines #jyp twice #im nayeon #twice nayeon #nayeon #nayeon x reader #twice tenth member #kpop gg #kpop #kpop imagines #twice fluff #nayeon fluff #kpop x reader #twice x fem reader

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m-y-fandoms · 1 year

Text

Commission: Nagito Komaeda and Kokichi Ouma - Kissing/Makeout Headcanons + First Kiss Drabble

Fic premise assumes you are the S/O (established relationship or crush) and WANT to be kissed by them, keep this in mind.

Word count: 2.6k words

Nagito Komaeda

Nagito is very ill (obviously) both mentally and physically. With this in mind and just seeing how he acts in-game, I have always retained the idea that he has different sides of himself. I think a lot of the time, the illness gets to his head.

Which Nagito you get can change day by day depending on his mood, his goals, or his current mental state, as we see in-game. Think of how he acts in the beginning of Chapter 1 versus say Chapter 5.

There was a very smug, passive-aggressive (and sometimes just plain aggressive), and sharp-witted Nagito…

Or the giggling, self-hating, hope-gasming mess of a man Nagito.

As his S/O, you got both sides, and both sides would serve you in his own way. He would always strive to please you, even if his methods and words sometimes weren’t the best.

After all, he wouldn’t have fallen in love with you if he didn’t see you as a beacon of hope. You were worthy in every way to him, even when he felt like he didn’t deserve you.

Early into your relationship, Nagito would be very needy, in disbelief that someone like him could have someone like you. He’d be touch-starved, nearly worshiping your body as you made out.

His hands would shake as he ran them up and down your sides while you kissed, clawing at your scalp, desperate to pull you in as if he’d lose you if he didn’t.

He’d be out of breath, ragged, not wanting to separate from you. He wouldn’t believe you would want to be near him, much less lock lips with him. He would savor every second, heart beating wildly in his chest. He would feel like he could pass out at any second.

As your relationship progressed and you two got more comfortable being romantic and vulnerable around each other, he would become more confident and initiate the connections between you two more often.

There would still be times where he acted a bit strange or timid, even in your trusted presence, but now making out with you was something he wanted to enjoy regularly, craved and needed, rather than an occurrence he thought would never happen to him in a million years.

He warms up to you like an engine, going from clinging to you and asking between kisses why you have feelings for a mess like him, to leaving you speechless and breathless as he pushes you up against the wall of your private cottage. He’d cage you in with his arms on either side of you, wanting you only to himself, biting at your bottom lip.

He’d become greedy with your touch and time, dragging you away from the group to make out in your room and tell you how you drive him wild.

The First Kiss

You sat on the floor of Nagito’s cabin with him like you did pretty much every night, cross-legged and hiding a hand of cards from him so he couldn’t cheat. He won nearly every time anyway, so he didn’t need that extra advantage. You enjoyed whisking him away for alone time like this. You found that many of your classmates either didn’t like Nagito or didn’t understand him. Most found him odd, even those who called him a friend. He never saw their judgements or little jabs as hurtful because he thought he deserved it. It made you really enjoy the time spent between only the two of you, because there was no judgement toward him, no stress. You could just be yourselves. He could even tell you about his ideals and plans for hope for the world all he wanted without being side-eyed. You often talked for hours as you played video games you borrowed from Chiaki and ate snacks.

Everyone knew you two were a thing, a close friendship that had blossomed into a mutual crush. You were rarely seen without the other, and in fact most had an inkling that if Nagito wasn’t with you, he was up to something.

You had a lot of fun with him, despite his constant questioning of your feelings for him: asking why you’d want to even be around someone like him, assuring you that he knew he could be a bother. He felt like he was a waste of your time, and you were slowly getting him out of the habit of feeling that way.

Now into early hours of the morning, everyone else was fast asleep for the night. Nagito walked you back to your cabin in the dark of the humid night, lit only by small lanterns adorning the cottage walls. This was your routine. Once in a while you fell asleep in his bed while he slept on the floor with a single blanket and pillow but him walking you back to your room before then was the norm. He’d casually wrap his coat around your shoulders on the rare occasion it was chilly, sometimes risk awkwardly reaching for your hand. He’d never been forward with you thus far, making it clear that while he wanted more, he didn’t feel like he deserved it. He wasn’t the best choice for you. He was meant to support you, to bolster your hope, not be a romantic equal. Tonight, it felt a little different, though. You wanted your relationship to move to the next level. You were going crazy, left with only the gentle embraces or leaning against him on his bed to satisfy you until your next fix. You needed more.

“Well… goodnight (Y/N),” Nagito flashed you a sideways grin, hesitating as if something were on his mind before turning to return to his cabin alone. You’d met his eyes and he looked away, already beginning his trek back. You reached out, grasping the tips of his fingers then securely moving your way up his arm to halt him.

“Nagito, wait…” He snapped his ghostly white face back to you immediately, expectantly almost…

“Yeah?” You swallowed nervously, losing the confidence and adrenaline rush when his eyes searched yours. He had a way of making butterflies appear in your stomach. He was just… so pretty, especially in the low lighting, especially with your nerves on fire. “What is it, (Y/N)...?” He stepped closer when the silence lingered.

“I, well… don’t go, yet…” You struggled to find the words. You couldn’t just ask straight out, right?

“Okay… I’ll stay. Is something wrong?” He hadn’t known you to ever be nervous or at a loss of words around him. That was everyone else’s job.

“Well, I want to… well…” he stepped a bit closer and your heart rate picked up. “Is it okay if maybe, I kiss you?” He felt his heart sink. His eyes went wide, pupils blown out in disbelief, but yet he stepped closer, as if his body and mind were at opposition.

“What? You want to kiss someone like me? Why would you-”

“If you don’t want to, please, it’s okay. Seriously, we don’t have to-.” You started back tracking immediately, thinking maybe you’d gone too far.

“Well of course I want to, but… I mean someone like me would only soil you. Can you imagine my filthy lips on y-”

“I do imagine your lips… a lot.” You spoke barely above a whisper, and he moved closer once more, until your chest lightly bumped against his.

“Really? Wow, I can’t imagine such a shining beacon of hope such as yourself wanting anything to do with me…” His eyes darted between yours and your bottom lip, feeling the stirrings of desire in the pit of his stomach.

“You say that a lot, you know… I wish you wouldn’t.” You tilted your head slightly, leaning in gently, extending your neck just barely.

“Are you sure about this?” His voice took on a slightly husky tone, and he didn’t stop you when your lips bumped against his, so reluctantly, so jittery. When he didn’t pull away, you pressed a little harder.

Almost like his cautious and unsure mood from just before was a merely a farce, he tilted his head to match, and his lips melted into yours like they were meant to fit together. Touch-starved and needy, he brought two shaky hands up to clutch onto your shoulders, as if you’d blow away with the wind if he didn’t. Allowing you very little time or room to breathe, his tongue found its way past your lips and brushed against yours. He felt you return the gesture with even more enthusiasm, and you heard as much as felt him moan into your mouth. The rumble in his chest sent sparks to your brain. He moved one hand around your waist, the other grabbing the back of your neck desperately, pulling you further in when you couldn’t physically be any closer. He was frantic, needing more and more of you. His mind was racing with so many thoughts at once.

Needing air urgently, you pulled away and found him hesitant to let go. So you didn’t. Not wanting to part from him either, you rested your forehead against his, bringing your hands up to run through his cloud of messy white locks.

Kokichi Ouma

Kokichi is not shy.

He is bold, teasing, and very loud about his feelngs for you.

Because while he loved to lie, your flustered reactions to his affections were so much more rewarding.

When it came to kissing, well there was no better way to rile you up and get that reaction he was looking for.

He loves PDA.

Kissing you in public was not only a way to mess with you, but to show the world you belonged to him.

He would do drive by kisses, running up to you for a peck then scampering off before you had a moment to process.

He would make bets, games, dares where you had to kiss him if you lost.

Kokichi was not nice.

When he made out with you in the privacy of your own dorm rooms, he was rough and unforgiving. He liked your little yips and gasps of surprise.

He would nibble at your jaw…

Bite your bottom lip a little too hard and lick up the bead of blood that spilled out…

Wrap one hand around your throat to keep you in place…

Sometimes he would tease you, hovering his lips over yours until you were nearly begging him to just kiss you already.

Your embarrassment was super cute to him.

When he was really into it, sometimes he’d pull at your hair or grab your backside, and when your lips parted to gasp, shoved his tongue in, an opportunist.

The First Kiss

You were traipsing about with Kokichi, investigating the newly unlocked areas of the academy. Exploring the vast and mysterious campus was daunting alone, but super fun with Kokichi by your side. You bounced between recently opened labs while Kokichi bothered their owners.

After a while, as the day was winding down and you’d begun to run low on energy, you sat with Kokichi on the top step of the flight of stairs just down the hall from Kiyo’s lab. The atmosphere was dark and gloomy, like the set of a horror film. You’d never have come up to this floor alone. You wondered why such a cheery girl like Angie had her lab - used to create beautiful art - on such a spooky floor. Kokichi, of course, had been messing with you the whole time, claiming he’d seen a dark shadow down the hall or that he swore he heard Kiyo hatching an evil plan in his lab earlier. You’d punched his shoulder, begging him to cut it out before you ran back to your dorm and left him behind. Looking down the creaky steps, you spoke a warning to him:

“Kokichi, I’m serious! You know this place freaks me out already. I don’t need you adding to i- mmph!” Your words were cut off, muffled into an awkward noise when Kokichi’s lips crashed onto yours. Your eyes widened in shock, but his were closed as he kissed you and pulled back just as fast. He leaned back on his hands, smirking mischeviously at you.

“W-what was that for?!” You sputtered, feeling your pulse throb in your chest.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Kokichi feigned innocence, his mouth agape in a childish look of guilt.

“You kissed me???” Your brows furrowed suspiciously.

“Well, I like you!” He grinned genuinely. “I know you like me too~! I heard you talking to Saihara about it the other day!” You were shocked at his apparent spying on you and would address it later, but he was right. You did have a crush on Kokichi, and you’d spoken to your close friend Shuichi about it at length, but you’d never have told Kokichi himself. You expected a swift and humiliating rejection if you did. You liked Kokichi a lot actually, but thought that to him, you were nothing more than a plaything, a way to avoid boredom because you tolerated him unlike most of your peers. A friend at most.

Your mind was racing, wondering how he could confess his feelings for you so bluntly, so plainly… Wasn’t he nervous at all? Was this a lie? Who can state that they like someone as more than a friend so casually?

But then you remembered that this was Kokichi. He wasn’t like other people. He was unique, for sure. You’d never met anyone like him.

“If you knew, why didn’t you tell me before?” You questioned, disbelief in your voice. He really was something else. “Ahhh!” You cried out as you were pushed backwards suddenly, now laying flat on the floor against the landing of the stairs. Kokichi jumped astride you, ignoring your question and straddling your waist. With a devilish grin he looked at you, pinned down below him. “Kokichi!” You squealed, not able to do much else. Your limbs felt like jelly and you couldn’t make eye contact with him.

“Awww I love that embarrassed expression on you~! You know, (Y/N)... you’re kinda cute this way.” He leaned down, letting the tip of his nose wiggle against yours. “You want more?” He mused, his tone low and impish. Turning your head away from him shyly, you paused, thinking about if you should humiliate yourself by playing along first, before nodding in response.

“Then beg for it…” he frowned down at you, deadly serious and commanding an intimidating presence.

“Stop it, Kokichi! You’re being cruel…” You threw an arm over your eyes, obscuring him from view, wishing you could just disappear at this very moment. You couldn’t take the teasing anymore. You were used to it from him, but not in this way. Never in this way.

“Come on now… if you act like that, I won’t kiss you ever again!” He crinkled his nose and furrowed his brow in disapproval. Your ears perked up at that, and you acted on instinct, reaching up and grabbing his checkered bandana in a vice-like grip. His mouth fell agape just a little, brows raising. “Oh, so that’s how it is~” he snickered.

He knew he had you in his trap, just where he wanted you. You tugged on the bandana, and he let you, bringing his lips down to hover right above yours. You closed your eyes expectantly, waiting for a kiss that never came. After a second, you felt the weight of his body lift off of you, and your eyes fluttered open in disappointment.

“Kokichi?” You sat up to see him already a few steps ahead of you, ready to make a break for it.

“Tell you what… if you can catch me, I’ll take you back to your room and kiss you all you want~!” He gestured flippantly to you, waving his hand, and took off at the speed of light.

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idontknowreallyidontcare · 6 months

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Husband!König has many piercings, some he regrets some he admires himself from getting.

Getting in military after many years of bullying gave him lots of confidence, you can see it. From his lines in game you can understand how cocky and sure of himself he is. He’s a colonel now yes, but he was younger too. I believe he got to hookup more from his 19’s to his late 20’s, this gave him a possibility to discover himself, what he liked and to actually explore himself as a young adult. I believe he has had a brow piercing, the hole almost totally closed because he decided it was too risky keeping one on the field (image he actually rips it off because it gets stuck in something;-; ewwww) He just took it off and never really thought about putting it back in.

Classic but I do image him having a tongue piercing. Like listen, we know König eats pussy for pleasure, he would be okay with only feasting on your pussy for the rest of his life if he could choose to. So ofc, when he started to watch porn and noticed many actors having piercings, and how hot il looked while they ate pussy, he just went with it and got one. The fact that he actually went to a piercer instead of just asking Nikto for help by sticking a mf needle in his tongue and risking an infection, is actually pure luck, because our König is also a proud mf, he takes pride in being good at anything, And why wouldn’t he be able to stick a needle in his own tongue alone! (Thank god Nikto was the one to persuade him, he would’ve gotten an infection).

NOW, König has a big cock, we all know it, he knows it, everyone knows it. And how can his big attributes be highlighted if not by some downstairs piercings??? He’s got one on his tip, unfortunately removed due to the discomfort it gave him by constantly rubbing against his TOO TIGHT pants (whore). BUT DONT BE SAD! He once stumbled across a stack of porn magazines, they were old fashioned ones, probably from late 90’s, depicting naked man and women on each and every page (lol ofc they were porn magazine.)

A model in particular captured his attention, his soft dick resting on the side of a thigh, he could see the small piercings along the under part. Thank god König is also a tech genius, he works with advanced technology every day, so a silly and fast google search brings him to what he is looking for, that strange piercing’s name. Yes everyone, a Jacob’s ladder ;). He’s got one, his dick all hot and bothered form the moment he saw that model’s picture, because he was sure that it would feel SO GOOD to be inside a nice hot pussy, feeling how after each and every thrust the piercings would drag around the insides of a girl, making a moaning mess out of her.

Yes he got one, and he was very careful with it, König is a pretty clean lad, he may not have a skincare, may not use fancy lotions and shampoos, but he knows his routine, he keeps himself clean, even more now that he got the piercings. Well I think he got them in his 30’s, he was already mature enough to understand if he could or couldn’t take care of such an important body modification, and he went for it. He got it done when he knew he’d have the most time off from work, where he knew he could spent at least a few months outside the base and actually be able to care for the wound. Very sexy mature choice woof woof bark bark snarl gnawn

He has a failed lip piercing guys, if got ripped off when a bullet hit his face and scarred a bit of his lips, destiny wanted for the bullet to be deviated exactly by his lip piercing. He’s got a bit of a trauma now, refusing to get another one, but still grateful that the first one kinda saved his life and his face from the possibility of a fucking hole being planted inside of it. He was so sexy too, you have seen a pic (yes a pic, I never see anyone talking about how they actually have technology incorporated in their lives! They take pics guys! Like boomers probably, but they do!) you may try to convince him to get one again, and who knows, maybe he’ll actually consider, but only because YOU asked!! Image now the contrast of his tongue piercing and his lip one while he eats you out, woof woof bark, I’d faint.

#cod x reader #cod #cod mwii #konig cod #konig smut #konig x reader smut #konig x reader #konig call of duty

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applejuicefruit · 1 year

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can you do angst to fluff where reader had been rlly focused on her career/school and not spending a lot of time w kylian. so when she tries to make plans he acts really annoyed but he's really just hurt. it takes a lot for him to open up bc he doesn't want to seem soft. so when reader finally talks to him ab it he j expresses that he's sad and she reassures him and treats him like her little baby again 🥲🥲

Hii thank you for requesting this I hope you like it ⭐️

kylian mbappe x reader

She Hulk

You always wanted to be a lawyer, it’s always been your dream so when you got into the law school of your dream you felt like floating. Your family was so proud of you, your boyfriend Kylian was so proud of you, he always supported you and that was the most important thing to you. It’s been over a year now and you were still in school studying harder and harder every single day.

It was like you forgot how to live. You were constantly studying, burying yourself in pages and pages and barely living. You didn’t mean to do it but you ignored your friends and your boyfriend. One night he asked you if you wanted to go out with him but you were so tired and busy studying that you said no. Without giving him an explanation.

It was currently the weekend and you thought of giving yourself a well deserved break. You knew Kylian had practice that day so you wanted to surprise him with pizzas a movie night. You had the spare key of his apartment so when he wasn’t home you organised everything. From the pillows and blankets laid on the floor near the couch, to the pizzas cooking in the oven, from the Disney + home page opened on his TV to the candles lighting up the atmosphere. You were so excited about spending time with Kylian again that you thought he would love it too.

When he opened the front door he never expected to see you there, in the kitchen, cleaning what you used to make pizzas and smiling directly at him. He was kinda mad at you for ignoring him for more than a week. Honestly he was an attention seeker and he loved your attention so much it made him sad the fact that you ghosted him for ten agonising days.

“Surprise!!” you said smiling at him

“What is this?” he asked a bit confused

“I thought of making something special for our weekend together, I made pizza, we can watch a movie or two and then we can cuddle all night” you said - your smile never leaving your face

“I’m actually tired from practice” he said passing over you and putting his jacket on the couch. Your heart broke a little. You spent hours on getting everything ready for this night and all he did was ignoring you.

“Kylian?” you called him

“What?” he said not even looking at you

“Are you mad?” you asked him trying to figure out why he was acting that way “did something happen at practice?”

“No I’m fine honestly…why don’t you just go home, I’m quite tired…” he said and you couldn’t believe of what you were hearing

“Kylian…are you mad at me?” you asked him but he ignored you “Kylian! Can you at least look at me and tell what I did?”

“So it’s fine for you to ignore me for more than a week then come here and do all of this and expecting me to be happy to see you! I haven’t heard from you for more than ten fucking days! I had to text your best friend to even know if you were still alive! So yes I’m mad at you!” he snapped back at you raising his voice. He never raised his voice with you. Instead you always talked about your problems so it was scaring you his behaviour change.

“Kylian…I’m so sorry I’ve never meant to ignore you it’s just…I’ve been studying so much in these past days that I completely forgot to-“

“You forgot about your boyfriend that’s what happened…I thought - maybe it’s over, maybe she found someone else, maybe she doesn’t love anymore, maybe she cheated…” he said looking at you

“What! I would never cheat and you know that!” you raised your voice a little bit, this time making you angry accusing you of cheating

“No y/n I don’t…I haven’t heard from you for days so I don’t know what you were up to!” he screamed back

“Studying! That is what I was fucking doing! Studying because I have three exams next week! Not one, not two but three fucking exams!” you screamed back

“So you’re gonna tell me you have been studying for ten days without taking a break?” he asked in a sarcastic voice, still mad at you

“Fuck…yes Kylian! I was studying what do you think I was doing? I didn’t mean to ignore you! It’s just…” - and in that moment you felt a few tears fall from your face, letting all the stress of the past week coming out, all the sleepless nights spent on books, all the adrenaline bottled up in the past days coming out now “…you have no idea of how hard it is! I can’t fail these exams…I just I can’t…” you said, lowering your tone, tears falling from your eyes. Kylian’s heart broke when he saw you like this, proof that you were really stressed and, instead of helping you he was causing more stress to you.

“If you don’t want me here tonight it’s fine…I’ll go home but at least eat the pizza I made, is good…” you said, reaching up for your jacket and purse when his hand grabbed your arm

“Babe…” he said looking at you with a very sad face and that’s all it took for you to burst into tears, letting all the stress coming out “hey shh…it’s okay, let it all out” Kylian said while stroking your back. Your head on his chest and your arms around his neck, almost holding on for dear life.

“Baby it’s okay…I’m so sorry baby, I wished I’ve seen it before…you’re so stressed honey, it’s okay let it all out” he kept saying while helping you letting all of your stress out. After a few minutes you calmed down. Kylian’s hands wiping your tears away.

“I didn’t want to ignore you” you said truthfully

“I know baby, I’m so sorry…I wished I could have helped you before…”

“It’s okay It’s just hard…you know I’m not She Hulk” you said and he laughed a bit, still holding you close

“Why don’t we eat the delicious pizza you made and watch something? Preferably not She Hulk…” he suggested smirking at you

“What! She’s amazing! She’s a lawyer and she can kick ass! I’m basically her but without the superpowers and the law degree, not yet at least…” you joked, laying on the blankets while Kylian took the pizzas out of the oven

“Fine we can watch She Hulk” he said sitting next to you with the pizzas and you let the first episode starts, again.

That was all you needed. A little bit of relax with the man you loved most, it was perfect.

#kylian x reader #kylian mbappe #kylianmbappe x reader #kylian mbappe imagines #kylian mbappe x reader #kylian mbappe angst #kylian mbappe fluff #equipe de france #paris saint germain #psg #kylian mbappe one shot #kylian mbappe imagine

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auras-moonstone · 10 months

Note

YESSS I HAVE SOOO MANY IDEAA (sorry😭) I AM SOOOOO IN LOVE WITH YOUR WORK OKKK WHAT IF LIKE JACK CHAMPION AND FEM READER GO TO DISNEY WORLD AND ITS JUST SUPER CUTE!! (Or like a little bit spice🫢) BUT YES

hii! i never went to disney world so i tried my best with this one shot😬 hope you like it💖

the best day with you — jack champion

word count: 868

pairing: jack champion x fem!reader

summary: jack takes his girlfriend to disney world for the first time

Y/N COULD FEEL THE MAGIC OF THE PLACE FROM THE MOMENT SHE SET FOOT ON THE ENTRANCE. She was completely speechless by the energy and the beauty the park provided. And Jack couldn’t stop looking at his girlfriend’s profile, loving the way she took in the sight of Disney World. Her excitement was contagious.

“What do you want to do first, love?” he asked, intertwining their fingers.

“We definitely have to buy Mickey Mouse ears”

“Obviously” Jack nodded, guiding her towards the nearest gift shop. Y/N eyes widened at the variety of ears. “I’ll buy you all of them if you want”.

Y/N laughed and kissed his cheek “You’re the sweetest, but I’m going to choose one… eventually”

They exited the shop, and Jack couldn’t stop laughing “I can’t believe you spent fifteen minutes thinking just to end up buying the classic ones”.

Y/N rolled her eyes “They were all so pretty! I was about to get the Mike Wazowzki ones. But then I thought: this is your first time at Disney World, shouldn’t you go for the classic Minnie ones? And Jack should get the Mickey ones”

“That absolutely makes sense, love” he said, putting on the Minnie ears for her, and she did the same for him. “There you go, the most adorable human on earth”.

“Thank you, sir. Now, let’s get going, we have so much to do!”

“HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING” Y/N said as they exited the Avatar: Flight of Passage. “They knew what there were doing with that simulation”

“You know, there’s one more thing about this attraction. But just for you, okay?” Jack said, smirking.

His girlfriend looked at him confused “What are you talking about?”

“Well, you get a special kiss from Spider Socorro himself” he said, grabbing her hips to pull her closer.

“Oh, really?” she said with a playful smile. He nodded and leaned down to give her one long kiss “Best part of the experience”

“COME ON GRANDPA, HURRY UP. I WANT TO GET FIRST ROW SEATS FOR EVEREST” Y/N said, dragging Jack behind her as she ran. “Use your long legs!”

“I’m about to pass out, Y/N/N. How do you have so much energy after so many attractions?” Jack said, trying his best to keep up.

Y/N stopped running and looked at him with guilty eyes. “Fuck, I’m sorry, babe. You’re right, it’s too much. I guess I got way too excited because it’s my first time”

Jack frowned, now he felt guilty. His girlfriend was always accompanying him to every interview, premiere and event without complaining once. And there he was, being a baby. “No, don’t apologise. Now, let’s go before someone gets our seats”.

He grabbed his hand and together they ran towards the Expedition Everest attraction. The pain of his legs evaporated when he saw Y/N climb to the first row with an excited face.

“ARE WE GOING TO SURVIVE THIS?” Jack asked as they went to the Hollywood Tower of Terror.

“I don’t want to lie to you, we might not” Y/N responded. “I have to confess something… I really want to pee. I should’ve peed before this ride”

“Please hold it. I don’t want to be known as the actor whose girlfriend peed herself” Jack said.

“Fuck you” she scoffed.

“Give me a kiss” Jack said bending down. Y/N turned her head, so he kissed her cheek instead. “Love!”

“Nope, no kiss for you”

“Come on, we are about to die. Don’t you want to have one last kiss?” he pouted.

“No, I hope the fact that you were mean to your lovely girlfriend haunts you after we die, and you won’t be able to enter heaven”

“No, I don’t want that. I’m sorry” he hugged her from behind and pressed short kisses to her neck.

“Okay, you’re forgiven” she mumbled. Jack smiled, knowing how much she loved when he hugged her from behind.

THE ADVENTURE DAY WAS COMING TO AN END, SO FOR THE LAST ACTIVITY THEY WENT TO THE CASTLE. The vibrating colors of the castle made contrast with the dark sky, making the sight absolutely enchanting. Y/N could not stop looking at it, the fireworks reflected on her eyes.

“Do you like it, love?” Jack asked, his arms were around her shoulders, chin rested on top of her head as her back was pressed against his chest.

“It’s so beautiful, Jack. Thank you for bringing me here. I will never forget it” she smiled, and looked up at him. Jack looked down at her intensely. “What?”

“Just reminding myself we’re too young to get married. My impulses are telling me otherwise” Jack said, making her look at him with wide eyes.

“The beauty of the park is giving you crazy ideas” she laughed.

“Beauty? yes, but not the one of the park”

“Cheesy” Y/N poked him in the rib, smiling like she had won a contest.

“Beautiful” Jack replied, same smile as hers.

“I love you. I had the best day with you” she tuned around to admire him properly.

He bent down to meet her lips. The people around and the sound of the fireworks disappeared as they got lost on their kiss.

#jack champion #jack champion x y/n #jackchampion #jack champion x reader #jack champion oneshot #jack champion fluff #jack champion imagine #ethanlandry #ethan landry #ethan landry fluff #jack champion fanfic #avatar the way of water #avatar twow #spider socorro

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gretavanfleetposts · 6 months

Text

Fire in the Water: Chapter Ten - Part One

Summary: You had thought dating a vampire would be the most complicated thing you'd ever done. But as it turns out, becoming one is even more complicated. The boys are determined to make your transformation as smooth as possible while each fighting to maintain the relationships they once had and those they now lust for. Author's Note: As always, I'd like to thank the lovely @gretasmokerising and @earthlysorrows for everything Content Warnings: swearing, talk of the afterlife, death, talk of dead souls, dead people, skeletons (18+ minors do not interact) Word Count: 5k

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Rebecca had been hard to find.

Jake had searched for her for months alongside his twin, turning up empty time after time, month after month. They would get so close so often but each time, she evaded their grasp. It was like she knew he was looking for her. It was like she was toying with him. He couldn’t even say he was surprised if that was in fact what she was doing. But Jake was running out of time. How long could a body go unlived in?

They spent months going from motel to motel, paying people for information, buying people to get them off their backs. But finally after four long months, Jake darted into the singular room he and Josh had been sharing for several days just outside of New Orleans, just beyond the bustle of nightlife in the heart of the city.

“I found her,” he had said. And his eyes had held a hope that Josh hadn’t seen since their journey began.

That journey had brought them to the warehouse they now found themselves standing in front of: a large, empty structure that looked like it had gone abandoned for the last decade. That was where they had finally pinned Rebecca down.

When they did finally enter, they found her sitting at a large oak desk, the only piece of furniture left in the concrete room. And it was clear she had let them catch up to her.

They crossed the sprawling, utilitarian room to her quickly, nothing but the sound of boot heels clicking on the concrete beneath. Jake led the way, eyeing Rebecca carefully. She sat with her knee-length-clad boots propped up against the edge of the desk, swiveling lazily from side to side in a rusted and hardened green leather office chair with her hands folded in her lap and her eyes doing a dance between the two brothers.

It all felt far too casual for Jake’s taste.

Josh looked on her with softer eyes from behind his brother. The good cop in the situation. Or at least, that was what he had prepped himself to be.

Although they had never spent much time together, Josh recognized her as the woman who had been the first in Jake's vampire life to break his heart. He'd had to do quite a bit of damage control thanks to her. But even so, he understood her to be a bit more nuanced than Jake ever wanted to believe. He knew what she had done to him but he also knew why she had done it in the first place. It was all very complicated. Still, he often wished she had chosen a different vampire to do her dirty work for her.

“Josh,” Rebecca greeted him with easy eyes and a lazy smile when she saw the curly-haired twin that she had always liked a little more than his brother..

“Rebecca,” Josh greeted her back just as amicably.

On the other hand, Jake and Rebecca needed no introductions. It was pointless. Frivolous. They'd never had that kind of relationship, one where they pretended. Or at least, Jake had never thought they'd had that kind of relationship.

And they certainly weren’t ones to play nice when he had tracked her down several times over the years, unbeknownst to his family.

“Is there a reason you've been following me?” she asked, settling back into her chair comfortably as she set her accusatory eyes on Jake. “I thought we were done with this.”

Jake silently hoped Josh never asked questions about that.

“If we were done with it then why did you let me find you?” he asked, his tone just as accusatory.

“You clearly need something,” Rebecca answered. But then her voice went a little softer. “And I guess I still have a soft spot for you.”

Jake wasted no time. Rebecca was slippery and he didn’t like finding himself a slave to the very thing he had thought he’d outgrown when he became immortal. “I found my tie. She died stopping Cassius from killing me. All because I turned her. All because I turned you.”

“Sounds like you should have taken better care of her,” Rebecca quipped.

“It never would have been a problem if you hadn't done what you did,” he argued back just as quickly

Rebecca dropped her boots off the edge of the desk and stood to reprimand him with her tongue.

“Oh Jacob, don't tell me you're still hiding from your responsibilities with that stupid party trick you call a gift and your pretty little face. You very easily could have let her die a natural death the first time.”

Normally he'd fight back, chuckle off the insults, throw a few of his own. But the time Jake had spent without his gifts and grieving his tie had left him exhausted, the type of which sleep couldn't touch, even if he could convince his body to do it. And it had put him on edge, a place he always teetered now. Always so close to losing it.

“Please, Rebecca,” he breathed slowly with closed eyes and clenched fists, “this is the only thing I'll ever ask of you.”

Rebecca could hardly poke fun at him in this state. Actually, she’d never seen him this way before. Jake with a soul tie, it was something she couldn’t imagine. But the way he was now without said tie was something she hoped she'd forget soon after his departure.

“What is it that you want, Jacob?” she asked with a flood of sympathy warming her otherwise cold demeanor.

“You can resurrect her, I know you can.” He nodded to himself as he said it as though he were trying to convince himself of it all the more.

“I'd need the body if I were to do it.”

“Yes, I have her.”

Rebecca was silent for a moment while she thought about what Jake was asking of her.

“Did you bind before she died?”

Jake shook his head, trying not to remember his last night with his tie. It was a night he still couldn't face, not without his gifts. Not unshielded as he was.

“You've lost your gifts then?” she pressed.

Jake clenched his teeth tightly and gave her a tired nod, not so much as uttering a single word that he hardly had the strength for anyway.

Rebecca fell silent again as she contemplated everything she knew about necromancy. Things Jake knew nothing about that he now asked for so easily. It wasn’t an easy thing to do, even harder on the dead than it was on the living. But something told her Jake wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“I'm not sure you understand what you're asking me to do,” she said simply, like she was testing the waters of his resolve. How far he was prepared to go to be reunited with the woman he loved.

“I understand quite well,” was all he said. And the growing tension in his voice and in his body was palpable.

“She sacrificed herself for you, yes? Then she is at rest. You will be ripping it from her and it will not be gentle.”

Before Jake could further agree, and rather blindly, at that, Josh interrupted with a concerned look knitting his brows together and tugging down at his lips that never formed such a look very gracefully.

“What exactly does that mean?”

Rebecca breathed deeply before she found a seat propped up on the edge of the desk, like a teacher preparing for a lecture.

“When a person dies and becomes a vampire,” she began, “it isn't like actually dying. Their soul never touches the afterlife. Your tie, however?” she gestured toward Jake, “She's become one with it. Bringing a soul back from that is terribly violent. It's even more unnatural. Even more painful. She'll struggle to feel right in this world.”

“I'll help her,” Jake answered quickly, growing tired of this line of questioning when he was running out of time, a feeling he wasn't used to and didn’t plan to savor.

“Now wait a minute, Jake,” his twin stopped him, “are you sure this is the right thing to do?”

Jake turned on his brother incredulously, his feet slipping so casually off that edge he'd been riding precariously.

“What the fuck are you even saying?” he snapped. “Do you hear yourself right now? Don't you want her back or did you never fucking care about her at all?”

“Of course I fucking care about her, I loved her before you ever laid eyes on her! But we'll be changing her life forever. Again.” Josh fought back with tears in his eyes and strain in his voice that had been sitting just behind the thin veil of strength he’d adorned for his brother.

He couldn't help but feel this was all his fault at the end of the day. He was the one who had sought out the human. He was the one who had invited her into his life. He was the one who had introduced her to the people for whom she'd die.

“How am I supposed to live without her?” Jake croaked, his voice breaking in a way that he hated to put on such visible display for others. But it was unavoidable.

And it rendered Josh silent.

“Why did you come all this way if you were just going to turn against me when we found her?” Jake asked again, this time resentment rearing its ugly head. “You knew what this was. You knew what we were here to ask for.”

Josh shook his head, just as exhausted as his brother if he were to admit it. And he hadn't. His brother needed him; he didn't have time for the self pity he desperately wanted to bathe himself in. But he was exhausted.

“I'm not turning against you,” he said quietly. “I mourn for her too, you know. I do. I ache for her. I…I grieve for her.”

He had been crying for her since long before she had died the second time but he left that part unsaid for his brother’s sake.

“Then let me do this,” Jake insisted.

Josh fell silent again, offering up only a simple nod of his head as he cast his eyes downward and swore himself to silence. And in the wake of the fight, Rebecca braved the aftermath.

“I can't guarantee she'll still be tied to you when she returns. Soul ties are vampire magic, evolved to help the loneliest of creatures cope with their endless existence. When she comes back, she'll no longer be just vampire. You might do all of this, Jacob, all of this, and still lose her in the end. Are you prepared for that?”

Jake gave her an unconvincing nod that caused a sigh to erupt from her chest as she leaned further back onto the solid oak desk behind her.

“How long has she been dead?” she asked.

“Four months.”

Rebecca's eyes went wide. “Four months? Are you out of your mind?”

“Well maybe if you hadn't been so fucking hard to find-” he answered tersely, barely meeting her eyes.

“Jacob, four months?” she continued, “Four fucking months? It’ll be torture, you cannot do this.”

“Oh come on, Rebecca,” Jake finally snapped and stared her down, his impatience and anger showing. “You've done worse.”

“I've done worse to people who deserved worse,” she corrected. “This would be torment for her.”

Jake's teeth clenched harder, threatening to shatter the bones.

“Rebecca,” he spoke slowly to control his anger, “can you do it or not?”

Rebecca found another deep sigh bubbling in her chest. She wasn't exactly morally opposed to much but this just seemed cruel to Jake's lover. Still, she could see just how badly he needed this. He needed his gifts to get by and clearly, he needed her too. And if this was the last thing he'd ever want from her, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all.

“Yes, I can do it. But there is something else. You didn't bind before she died. If I bring her back and the tie does still exist, it'll be weak. Weak enough to break, if she asks me to. Are you so certain she'll still want you?”

He waved her off with a single hand but she couldn’t help but wonder if he wasn't just doing it to get her off her back, something he'd worry about when she wasn't around.

Rebecca only stared at him, captivating his eyes when he realized she'd gone silent. And Josh, being an onlooker in all this, the things said and the things unsaid, took that as his cue to leave them to whatever fight must have been brewing that he certainly didn't need to be a part of.

“I'll give you two a minute,” he said softly before ducking out of the warehouse with only a single nod to Rebecca and a single nod returned.

When he left, Jake released a heavy sigh. “You don't need to say anything. I hear you, okay? I hear you.”

“I'm not sure you really do but I guess that's your problem to deal with.”

Jake chuckled out a dark laugh and brought his hands to his tired face to wipe at his skin and dig his fingers in to stop the headache before it came.

“If she really hates me that much after it all, you should stick around. Maybe we can rekindle,” he joked.

It earned a hearty scoff from Rebecca.

“Even tied, you're still exactly the same you you were when I left.”

“An opportunist?” he smiled weakly at her.

“Blinded by your own interests,” she corrected.

But his face fell with the weight of what he'd been dealing with for months and Rebecca could see that he'd hardly meant it.

“I can't cope. I feel like I can't even fucking breathe without her.”

“You don't breathe,” Rebecca quipped, earning another dark laugh from Jake whose smile didn't even come close to touching his eyes.

“Don't make me miss you, Rebecca. My heart belongs elsewhere.”

Maybe he was different. That's what Rebecca couldn't help but think as she watched the vampire she had known for so long to be cool and calm and collected practically twitch and wince with visible pain right before her eyes. She might have even felt bad for him if she liked him a little more.

“Well then let's get her back so I can get you out of my hair.”

—

An endless tide on an endless shore. You could reach out your arms in either direction and feel nothing but warm pebbles beneath your skin. You had crawled up and out of the ocean only to sink your body against the warmth. That's where you stayed, unmoving, as clouds danced along the sky and gulls played in the air.

There was no time that bound you. There were no sunsets and sunrises to mark the persistent drum of change. There was only warmth holding your body to the ground as you sunbathed, memories of your life coming to you as gently as the tide grabbed further and further up the shoreline.

You’d felt the presence of your parents alongside you since you’d crossed over from shore to beach, lying on those warm rocks on either side. They had made that beach for you. They had harnessed the sun and let it beat down to warm the spot they had saved for you.

They had walked with you along the beach many times, your mother especially. She practically never left your side.

“My beautiful daughter,” she said often. “Oh how I missed you.”

You let your eyes fall shut at the sound of her voice every time, soft and yet somehow overpowering the sound of waves crashing. It was just as you heard it in your memories, sweet and melodious.

Sometimes you’d stroll alone, taking in the waves as they crashed and the sun which never seemed to set. You couldn’t even remember how you’d gotten there but you remembered the hands that had sent you. You remembered the hands that had given you such peace.

But that was the thing about peace. It could come crumbling down at any moment. And when yours did, it turned to ice first, splintering at the edges and chilling you through, before it rained down like fire.

“Oh,” you had heard the voice of your mother say as she stood on the beach and watched balls of fire fall from the sky. “My dear, I don’t think they want you here.”

When you had turned to seek her face, you found only a pile of bones where she had stood.

“No!” you screamed out as you ran to her, your hands trying to collect her amongst the sand so grotesquely.

You gasped and heaved and sobbed as you turned your eyes toward the sky. The world around you that was once warm and filled with deep blues and stark whites now turned black and red, angry and smokey. You choked on it as you stood to run before it could overtake you.

But you weren't fast enough. The smoke reached you, enveloped you in its angry grip and flung you back out on the other side. And as you went, you felt the hands of a million lost souls scream at you and grab at you, hitching a ride with you as you went tunneling through time, now a lost soul yourself.

You shot upward with a gasp, scanning your scenery for your parents and the birds and the ocean. But what you saw instead was a metallic gray room, cold and lifeless and filled with standing bodies just as similar in state.

“Where am I?” you gasped out, barely even able to speak as your body groaned with stiffness and fatigue and a pain radiating throughout the entirety of it as it woke from a sleep from which it hadn't planned to return.

“You're alive,” the boy closest to you answered with a smile that seemed to signal relief forming on his lips. “We brought you back.”

We brought you back. You didn’t understand.

“No, no, no…” You struggled to your feet, pushing the boy off of you hard when he tried to catch you. “My parents were-they were-” You glanced around the room at the surroundings you didn’t recognize, your body and your lungs fighting through a searing pain while you collapsed not far from the metallic bed you’d been lying on.

“What have you done?” you frantically questioned everyone and no one all at once, your voice all but failing you as you sank against the cool floor and scooted your body ungracefully back and out of the boy’s reach until you hit a wall. “What have you done? What did you do to me?”

But the boy continued to follow you across the room until he came to a kneel before you, raising a hand to stop the movement happening behind him as some of the onlookers seemed to stir.

You glanced about the room again, slowly coming to the realization that you were back in your body, back on Earth, back in your physical form and surrounded by the concerned faces of the people you must have left behind. You blinked hard, trying to urge the fuzzy figures to focus in your field of vision. And eventually, each one turned from a haze to a distinct person with features, some that you recognized, one that you didn't. But to your horror, they weren’t the only ones there. There were shadows and voices, clawing and moaning and whispering. The ones that had grabbed at you on your journey back from the place you had been, beings who could find no rest the way you had.

Your face hardened when it hit you: you'd been torn from the warmth of the beach just to be brought back to this cold, unforgiving place.

You settled your eyes back on the face that now sat crouched close to you. You recognized him, you knew you did. And yet you struggled to put face to name.

“Do you…do you remember us?” he asked softly as you squinted at him.

He looked teary-eyed and worried but like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, a weight you now feared you carried around on yours. But you did remember him. And the longer you stared at him, the clearer the memories of your life together, short as it had been, became.

“I remember you,” you answered in a quiet voice, still not totally sure how to use your voice at all although your body seemed to remember. It quivered and faltered and you did your best to clear it as you tried just as hard to remember your life on Earth. “I-I died for you, I think.”

He nodded quickly, mouthing out a ‘yes’ as his voice failed him and tears began to stream steadily down his face.

“I had to…I had to make it right,” he croaked weakly.

It was peculiar to see such emotion on his face. You hadn't seen anything so messy in ages and your fingers instinctively reached out to touch the water droplets as your brows hunkered down in confusion. But the moment your skin connected to his, you felt a wave of yearning wash over you, like this was a piece of you you had been missing without even realizing it.

It was Jake. Of course it was Jake.

“My soul was yours,” you reminisced in a gasp as your fingers lingered curiously on his skin.

Suddenly, you remembered the last night you had spent with him. You remembered the tie that connected you, running through you both and joining you together. You remembered how hard you had fought it until the day he was in danger. And you remembered dying for him at the hand of another.

But he looked confused at your revelation.

“Was?” he questioned.

“Pieces of it are gone now,” you answered simply, still studying your fingers now wet with his tears.

He shook his head and glanced back at the others around him before turning back to you.

“I don't understand.”

When you dropped your fingers from your field of vision and met those golden brown eyes again, a wave of sadness washed over you. You could tell that he had spent many agonizing days awaiting this very moment. In fact, he almost looked dead himself. The skin on his face sagged downward farther than it seemed to want to stretch. And the bags under his eyes had taken on an almost bruise-like hue. He had kept misery for his company as long as you had been gone; it was plain to see on his face and in the way his shoulders fell so quickly and so far with your mention of a soul now shattered across realms. And even though you could guess why he had done it, you knew he didn't fully understand what exactly it was he had done as the invisible souls lining the edges of the room crept ever closer.

Even now you could hear them, the voices of the dead who weren't yet at rest, some supernatural, some human, many seeming to have attached themselves to the unfamiliar face in the room. You could see them all, hear them all, feel them all. They wished to usher you back down but their hands, greedy and helpless, could no longer get a grip on you.

Your lips fell into a hard, thin line.

“You should have left me dead, Jake.”

You heard a whisper from across the room, urging a large, curly-haired man out the door with a gentle and almost imperceptible, “Come on,” and nudge against his arm. Danny and Adele. The names flooded back to you as you watched them don sympathetic smiles, Danny clapping Jake on the shoulder gently just before they both left the room without another word.

The strange woman on the wall adjacent to you was the next to turn and leave, bringing another boy trailing behind her who looked just as tired as Jake. He was familiar, too. Maybe even more familiar than the others. And as soon as you saw the soft, toothy grin he gave you, the memories flooded back to you.

It was Josh. How could you have forgotten him and your time together?

When the room emptied, your eyes found Jake again and your hand found his as he fumbled to keep his emotions in check.

“I can’t feel you,” he shook his head almost frantically. “I can’t feel anything.”

“How long have I been gone?”

“Four months.”

You inhaled a deep breath at the time you had missed. Of course, time didn't exist wherever you had been and four months had passed as slowly as a lifetime for you. Maybe for Jake too.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t let you stay dead. I couldn’t live without you.”

You rested your hand on his cheek and he leaned into the touch to savor it. He even seemed to lose himself in it. It made you feel all the more guilty knowing that something he now needed so desperately would never bring you the same comfort again.

“I just hope you don’t come to regret it,” you answered softly.

His eyes dropped open again to look at you, confused. “Why would-? I would never regret it, y/n, never,” he insisted.

But you dropped your hand, settling back with another sigh at your lips and letting your eyes quickly dart around at the beings left in the room that he obviously couldn’t see.

“I’m not what I was, Jake. I hear them. They're crying out. There are lost souls all around us. Some of them even want to take me but they know I'm not theirs anymore.”

You watched as his eyes followed the trail yours had made, desperately trying to see what it was you could and looking scared that he might. But of course, they saw nothing but the empty room before him.

“I’ll protect you,” he answered quickly as he turned back to you. “I'll help you drown them out.”

He looked equal parts desperate and hopeful, frantic and optimistic. So much dissonance on one beautiful face. So much contradiction for one lonely man. But it was your stoicism that seemed to decimate him most efficiently, your even, calm demeanor even as you said things he didn't want to hear, things he didn’t understand but that hurt him regardless. Even just this way, he could tell you were different. Not so much as a single smile had even graced your lips in the time you'd woken gasping and hurting and desperate for the dead you had left behind. It all threatened to make the tears fall harder from his eyes.

“I can’t feel you,” he whispered through the sea of pain that raged on in his body, pain that was visible even to you. “You have…you have to tell me how you feel."

"I don't know how I feel," you answered flatly as your eyelids drooped and your body sank lower.

He took his own face in his hands to rub at his temples and along the bridge of his nose, inhaling deeply to steady himself. And as he did, you watched him carefully. You watched his hands work over his own skin and thought of the many times he had touched you with purpose.

It was your fault, you suddenly remembered. Your refusal to bind to him had put you both in danger. And for four months he was left alone to cope with the loss, no ounce of his gifts to untangle him from the mess of his own emotions. You weren’t certain you belonged here anymore but you knew you didn’t want him to make his home in grief. Actually, you couldn’t bear to see it.

“I died for you,” you whispered, prompting him to raise his head again so as not to miss even a single word you might speak.

He shook his head quickly, back and forth for a long moment. “It was never supposed to happen that way. It should have been me.”

Of course, it was always supposed to happen that way. But it was hard for mere immortal things so plagued by the illusion of control to understand such things. It was an illusion, the things you had deemed meant to happen, just like your tie, a force that now felt weak and strangled in comparison to how you'd remembered it feeling just before you died.

You had died for Jake, yes, but it was another who had killed you. You knew this. Could almost remember it, too.

All you were left with in the way of memories were the hands, soft and gentle, that had taken your face between them. They had taken you away from it all. They had brought you peace. They weren't here now but they hadn't followed you to where you had gone either.

Hands. An ocean. Deep and dark and all-encompassing. A boy drifting out in front of you…

“Sam was there.” You remembered him in an instant. And suddenly, you remembered how badly your heart throbbed over his absence.

“Do you remember it?” Jake asked, bringing you back to him with his voice.

Now that you had remembered it, it was impossible to expel from your mind.

“I was in the ocean, under the water,” you recalled aloud. “And he was there. It was peaceful.”

Sam was the one you had longed for in the end. You remembered it now.

Jake seemed to wince at the mention of his brother but he said nothing. But even in his silence, you felt a familiar pang of guilt that your vampire form had lived with for months. And you remembered the circle you'd been caught in. An entanglement, someone had once called it.

“I don't…” you trailed off, unable to word the way you felt coming back into your body.

You felt off. Actually, you felt entirely wrong. You weren't supposed to be here. You were supposed to be back on that beach with your parents, lying peacefully under the sun. You weren't supposed to be alive or half-alive or half-dead or whatever it was you were now. And there was an anger that rang familiar in your body, too, but this one felt much more dangerous, the fire not yet lit inside of you to feed it properly, the way it desired and demanded to be. But you felt it. That was the cacophony of emotions you had thought you'd left behind you for good. And now, once more, they plagued you, just like those spirits and demons less than thrilled at your second-or third-opportunity to fuck things up.

You didn't know how to live with it.

“Don't what?” Jake questioned, his brows hunkering down as he braced himself for whatever tragic words you were about to speak.

“I…I don't remember how to be alive.”

It seemed almost a relief to him when you said it and he couldn't help but laugh. And that smile; it suited him much better than the pain. You remembered wanting to protect it if you could.

“I’ll remind you,” he promised with another squeeze to your hand.

You gave him a smile back but in your mind, you already knew the truth. He wasn't the one you needed.

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bellewintersroe · 10 months

Text

Charles Leclerc x Schumacher Daughter!

Part 3 - maybe some racing inaccuracy’s? Deep talk about loss and semi trauma?! Lila and Charles connect basically on the first date but it’s slowly burning so no kissing just yet…

Charles: maybe Tennis isn’t such a good idea? Charles: how about we go to that sangria bar next to the hotel, tonight? Or is that bad timing? Charles had text me the Tuesday after their race in Spain. Since getting his number we’d texted often, just talking about lighthearted things really- mainly Tennis, the one thing both of us could turn to as a conversation starter. I knew exactly why he didn’t think Tennis was such a good idea, there’d been leaked pictures of me playing alongside Justine, Mick’s girlfriend, leaking not only my privacy but hers and the old hotel location we were at. You would be surprised with how many people were strange enough to turn up.

So that’s how we ended tucked away in the most private Sangria bar known to Spain. We were given an abundance of breadsticks and the whole thing felt like a whole dream.

“Maybe I should change your name on my phone to Lord Perceval.” I narrowed my eyes playfully to Charles as I sipped on the sweet alcohol in my glass. I praised the Sangria in my system for ridding the nerves that previously filled my body. I was a complete wreck before meeting Charles, the fact I had to sneak out of the hotel only made things feel 10x more intense.

“That is so embarrassing.” He sniggered as I giggled back down to the table. “I need a- what do you call it a name? A nick- nickname?” He asked. “A nickname.” I nodded. “I need a nickname for you, what can I call you? Charles asked.

“Whatever you wanna call me, I don’t have many nicknames. Lila is short enough, I got Liles from my papa for a while.” It had been a long time since I heard that name. It felt nice to talk about it as I glanced back up to Charles, seeing his eyes already fixated on me. “Lila Liles. That’s what I got.”

“Lila-Liles.” Charles smiled as I giggled. “I like that one.”

“Or I got Lilo for a while, like you know… ah, how do I say it, an inflatable?” He looked instantly confused. “Inflatable?” He slowly spelt out. “Um I can’t think of it in French, you know, one of those inflatable beds that go in the pool.”

“Oh yes! Yes! A lilo. Lilo? I like that one better!” He touched my hand gently, letting out the most angelic laugh as I felt my chest tighten. He seemed perfect in every single sense, I almost couldn’t believe I was sat right next to him. This beat playing tennis any day.

“Great, Lilo it is.” I snickered as he already began changing my contact name on his phone to Lilo Liles. Despise it sounding like some kind of disease, Charles seemed amused, and the fact he’d created his own form of a nickname for me warmed something deep inside me I didn’t know was possible.

“You know, I’ve always had a soft spot for Ferrari.” I admitted after a few more conversations. “I think I told you that when I first met you, but I’m always rooting for your team.”

“Really?” Charles smiled, resting his hand on his knuckle. He was super intrigued in the conversation, listening and watching attentively. I don’t think I’d ever felt so heard in my whole life until now. The empty Sangria glasses had been long forgotten as we emerged in every topic thinkable.

“Yeah, some of the first things I remember is watching the races of my dad when I was little- for Ferrari obviously.” I explained. A

“Me too, I mean. Watching your dad race for Ferrari, I met him once!” “Oh, really?!” I lit up as he nodded eagerly. “When I was karting, he spent some time with us, I still have the things he signed of mine.” He shyly admitted, scratching the back of his neck. “And now you’re driving for Ferrari.” I pointed out as he bashfully smiled.

“My dad still watches. He always watches F1, I know he’s looking out for you and Carlos in Ferrari.” I firmed as Charles’ eyes softened, scanning over my face in awe at what I was saying. “Not the best season for him to watch me in.” He forced a laugh at himself, picking at the table slightly.

“Well if you ask me it’s completely not your fault… blame the strategist.” Charles smirked at my words. “My dad would agree, I’m sure he would.”

“Well that makes me feel better.” He nodded. “How about your dad, did he used to race?”

“He raced in Formula 3, he’s the reason why I got into racing in the first place. But ah- he passed away a couple years ago now. 2017.” Charles hesitated and I felt my heart tighten. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked that.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I had no idea.” I borderline panicked, which he must’ve heard in my voice. He looked up with a wider smile, but I could still see that very hint of sadness in his eyes, I knew because I could see it in my own, I felt it.

“Don’t be.” He touched my hand with his own, resting it there. “I like talking about him any way, it’s nice.”

“I know what you mean, we cant just forget people.” I glanced down slightly, the soft of his touch melting its way through to my heart. I’d never clicked with somebody so quick in my life, I hope I wasn’t getting ahead of myself, but this all felt so intimate. He was hesitant to move his touch away, still he only kept his hand a mere inch or two away from mine. For the first time I felt like I had stopped fidgeting in my life.

“Exactly.”

“I’m sure he’s super proud of you as well.” I then commented as another bashful smile grew on his face. “I did tell him I signed to ah- Formula 1 before he passed, that was a lie… well it kinda turned out to be true.” He laughed gently as I made eye contact, holding a smile. “Well at least it turned out not to be a lie.” I shrugged.

“Yeah. Anyway, I am sorry this is all sad, I should change the topic.” He openly spoke. “No it’s okay! It’s nice to talk about your dad, I love talking about mine- as long as it’s not with the media.” I chuckled. “Ah yes, you do a good job of keeping so- what is the word- private.” “I’ve been slacking recently…”

As the conversation continued, we chatted way into the night, right up until the bar was closing and his leg was somehow pressed right up against mine under the table. Neither of us acknowledged it, but it’s almost like we were playing a game of footsies, my stomach on literal fire anytime his foot would brush against my own.

“It’s quiet… do you want to go on a walk?” Charles asked once we’d paid and left. I was left red in the face when he insisted he’d pay, I’d never had that before. Not with any of my boyfriends.

“Yeah.” I spoke gently as I walked closely besides him. “Is it French that you speak then?” I asked as he nodded. “Ah, French and Italian. Can you speak any?” “Oui!” I exclaimed, nodding. I’d been too nervous to speak French to him before, I was pretty fluent, but some of my pronunciations I’m sure was twisted by my German and English. “Tu parles français?!” (You speak French?!) I giggled hearing the accent change from the native speaker, he sounded completely different when he spoke French, I liked it.

“Oui, et allemand. Is that how I say it? German? Allemand?” I nervously spoke as he looked excited over the fact I could speak his native language. “Allemand, Oui.” He fixed my pronunciation ever so slightly.

”My pronunciation isn't the best.” I sheepishly admitted. “No, no it’s ok.” He reassured.

”Doit-on faire le reste de la date en français?” (Should we do the rest of this date in French?” Date. My chest tightened and although I knew what this already was, hearing it leave his lips made me all giddy inside. “Si vous souhaitez.” (If you would like). “I will lose my French at some point thought.” I nervously giggled. “I’ve never been on a date before.” My shoulder bumped into his accidentally, hands clashing as Charles dramatically froze on the spot. “Never?!” He exclaimed.

“Never.” I nodded, tilting my head up to look at him. “This is your first date?!” He repeated as I nodded. “I have had boyfriends but… no first date like this first.”

“My god.” He ran his hand down the back of his head, sounding a mock stressed. “I would have made it more uh- special if I knew that!” His words softened my heart as I peered up to him as we began walking again. “No, no, I’ve had fun, I like doing things like this.” I nodded firmly as he smiled back to me. “We’ll do it again?” His brows perked slightly, feeling his fingers brush over mine as he slid his hand into mine. “We will.” Charles Leclerc you will be the death of me…

#charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc

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iamasimperyk · 3 months

Note

Hiiii can you do a valentines day fic with rafe x reader where she mames him a book of how they got together and how she felt using pages of her diary ?

Thank youuuuu

Ispo vid: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeBcyGCj/

Hii, I am so sorry that I didn’t finish your request yesterday but I had an English exam today and couldn’t write. I still hope you like what I have done with your request, even if it’s the 15th.💕

Be my Valentine

Warnings: Fluff, Not proof-read, English is not my first language

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

It was yours and Rafe's first Valentine's Day together, and you wanted to make him the most special gift he ever got.

For a few days, you worked on a little book. A book that should show Rafe how much you loved him. There were pictures, little notes, tickets from various occasions, and even a few pages of your diary.

Everything was perfect, and you couldn't wait to hand your present to your boyfriend.

————

Finally, it was February 14th. Rafe insisted on taking you out to a fancy restaurant. He even bought you a new dress with matching shoes. Just like all the other times, he spent so much money on you—too much money.

Suddenly, you felt a little embarrassed about the fact that all you had for him was a book.

"Thank you for the evening, Rafe, and all the gifts." You smiled up at him as the two of you entered your room.

"You deserve a lot more, princess." He kissed your lips, placing his hands on your waist before he pulled you towards him.

After a few minutes of making out, you took a step back, earning a frown from Rafe.

"I also have something for you. It didn't cost me a fortune, but I hope you like it." You mumbled shyly, taking the book out of your bedside table.

As you handed him the book, his eyes widened a little. No one ever took the time to make something so personal for him.

"Thank you, princess. Thank you so fucking much." His voice was slightly cracking.

"I love you," You smiled.

"I love you more." He answered, kissing you once again.

After you pulled away, you spoke quickly, "Open the book. I want to see your reaction."

"Always so impatient." He chuckled before he finally opened the book you made him with all the love you could give.

Dear, Diary June 6th

I met a boy today, his name is Rafe. He was quite nice to me, but I know what people on the island say about him. They say he is a psycho, but I don't know if I should believe such rumors. It doesn't matter anyway. I will probably never talk to him again.

Love, Y/n

That was the first entry you ever made about him, and he couldn't help but smile. He thanked the universe every day that he got you in his life.

Then he looked at all the pages that were covered with little notes he gave you, pictures of the two of you, and all sorts of memorabilia.

He smiled to himself and started to read the next diary entries.

Dear Diary, August 20th

I am going on a date with Rafe. I can't believe it. Me, Y/n, going on a date with the famous Rafe Cameron. I am so excited. He said he would take me to the mainland. I have never been there, but I am sure it's awesome.

See you soon, Y/n

Dear Diary, August 23rd

The date was amazing. Rafe took me to an expensive restaurant, even if I told him not to spend so much money on me. I guess Rafe is a little stubborn when it comes to that.

Love, Y/n

Dear diary, September 2nd

Oh my god. I just had my first kiss with Rafe fucking Cameron. I am so happy right now. We were at the beach, watched the sunset, and then it just happened.

Y/n

Dear Diary, October 30th

Rafe and I are officially together now. Yesterday, I met his family. They were really nice to me, I hope they like me. After we went to bed that day, I suddenly heard him whisper, 'I love you'. He still thinks I was asleep, but I heard it. I think I love him too.

Love Y/n

"You heard that?" He chuckled, shaking his head.

You couldn't help but smile, "I could never miss one of your 'I love you's."

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe #rafe x you #rafe x reader #rafe x y/n #rafe cameron #fluff #rafe cameron fluff #outer banks x y/n #outer banks x you #outer banks x reader #obx

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harlowcomehome · 1 year

Text

Smoothie dates & Tour dates too:

Series link

One of your favorite parts of being with Jack at such a turning point in his career was being able to see all of his growth. You got to be there for many pivotal moments.

Jack was getting opportunity after opportunity and there was no doubt in your mind that he deserved every moment. He always carried himself in such a confident way, his energy was magnetic and everybody gravitated toward him.

You never questioned why everyone loved him, because you knew you did too.

You were mesmerized by him. Being around him was intoxicating but not in an uncontrollable way, it was the first time in a long time that you didn’t mind somebody disturbing your “me time.”

After the derby, Jack's hot ones video came out, and you and Layla teased him about it. He swore up and down that Urban struggled with his hot wings behind the scenes. Urban consistently denied it, not that he needed to, he ate spicy food so often that you weren’t even sure he had taste buds anymore.

Jack had a few collaborations come out, one being with Eminem which made you absolutely lose your mind. He couldn’t stop laughing at your reaction, you couldn’t believe he had been keeping it a secret for months. He had to beg you to stop playing it in the car.

Then it was finally May and Jack was home more often, he had a lot of work that was coming out but nothing he needed to do at the moment so he was in Atlanta at least for a while.

The four of you hung out fairly often but most days you and Jack would branch off and do something just the two of you while Urban and Layla continued to be unsure of what the nature of their relationship really was.

The four of you were sitting around at your place when Jack awkwardly cleared his throat “I need to talk to you about something, let’s go for a drive?”

Layla and Urban both shot you a look of worry, it was stressful knowing Urban wasn’t sure what Jack wanted to talk to you about. Urban usually knew everything, and he often knew it first.

You were silent on the walk to Jack's car, you could tell he had something heavy on his mind, he had gone quiet on you for the last few hours of the night. He sighed before starting his car, “if you’re going to break up with me we don’t have to leave the garage” you blurted out.

“Break up?” His eyes widened, “why would you think that? We just spent the whole day together.”

“I don’t know” your lip quivered, you were anxious at his tone.

“Are you unhappy? With me?” His eyes moved back and forth across your face, worriedly trying to read you.

“No! Not at all” You turned toward him in the car. You reached out to hold his hand, and he grabbed yours quickly find comfort in it.

“I do have to tell you something though” he swallowed, he maintained eye contact.

“You can tell me anything, you know that” You reached out and pushed a stray curl out of his face, he smiled at your gentleness.

“I’m going to go on tour” the fact that he didn’t sound happy about it confused you.

“Oh my god! A tour? Jack! Baby! That’s amazing, why aren’t you excited?” You questioned.

He looked over at you, his demeanor changing immediately. He was smiling practically ear to ear now.

“I mean, I am excited but that means I’ll be away from you and-“

You leaned in to kiss him, you tended to do that when you could tell his anxiety was taking over. The way he melted underneath you was admittedly an ego boost.

“Stop it!” You exclaimed as you pulled away. “You’re worried about me? Me? Don’t! I’ll be here, I’ll always be here. Until you don’t want me to be.”

“That’ll never happen,” he smacked his lips. “I thought you’d be upset about the distance or something” he nervously laughed and you shook your head.

“Upset that your dreams are coming true and all you’ve worked for is paying off? What kind of girlfriend would I be?” You looked at him with adoration.

Jack blushed at that, your words of praise always did something to him. He wouldn’t exactly call it butterflies, but something similar. He immediately took his phone out, sending a quick text to his team. He was waiting to talk to you to finalize anything tour related.

“When?” You asked innocently, as Jack started the car and you put your seatbelt on.

“If everything works out with the venues we think September through November, but nothing is set yet” he started to reverse the car.

You eyed him up and down as he concentrated, his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth. You found a lot of small subtle things, incredibly attractive.

“I bet Urban is excited” you laughed knowing that Urban had been talking to Jack about getting a new camera for the last month or so.

“He actually doesn’t know yet” he admitted and you looked at him confused. “Your best friend- wait, hold up your photographer who just so happens to be your best friend doesn’t know yet?”

“You were first on my list” he smirked.

That made your heart flutter, it validated what you already knew, and that was that you really meant something to him.

Jack smiled, he was squinting at you “Babe can you hand me my sunglasses?”

You took his sunglasses out of the compartment he kept them in, his eyes were extremely sensitive to light, and the one time you teased him about it you had to hear him explain why for the next thirty minutes so you never questioned him again.

“Do you want to go to smoothie king?” He put the sunglasses on before momentarily turning his head toward you to ask.

“Only if you promise not to get one of those nasty protein powder smoothies” you teased knowing he was trying to be more health-conscious lately.

Jack laughed, “ Why? Because if you don’t like the one you pick you want to trade?”

“You already know” you laughed.

“Protein powder does not taste that bad sweetheart” he shook his head and laughed.

“Just because you throw a cute nickname at the end of that sentence doesn’t mean I’ll change my mind.”

Jack ordered the smoothies before finding a parking lot with a decent view and no people to park in. The sun had been setting for a while which meant it would be dark in no time.

You could tell Jack had a lot on his mind, rightfully so after what he told you earlier.

“So do you have an opener?”

“Hmm?” He questioned, truthfully he was zoned out until you spoke.

“For tour?”

“I thought I’d just have fans come twerk on stage for cash or something” he attempted to keep a straight face but couldn’t once he saw your reaction.

“No? Not funny? That one didn’t hit?” He laughed, which in turn made you finally laugh too.

You smiled as you looked over at him, you wanted to blurt out that you loved him but instead, you looked out the window at the city lights. You didn’t want to say it first.

“Do you want to come with me?” He asked innocently, nervous that you’d say no.

“I mean I know you can’t get three months off work but maybe you can fly out to some shows.”

“Oh? You thought I would go without seeing you for three months?” You sipped your smoothie with a smirk. “Of course, I’ll make something work.”

“Good, I don’t think I’d be able to do it without you” He confessed.

“Am I your good luck charm?” You teased as he leaned in to kiss you.

“Something like that”’ he smiled as he pulled back, you put your hand on the nape of his neck pulling him back in.

“Mmm,” he softly moaned into you.

“Oh yeah?” Your brow furrowed, “what was that?”

“Oh nothing, your smoothie just tastes good” he licked his lips as you continued to pull back.

“You play too much Harlow” you giggled, looking at him.

“Whatcha looking at?” He abruptly covered his crotch with his hands.

“Me? You’re the one moaning” you laughed, the two of you exchanging flirty playful conversation for the next hour or so.

Eventually, the two of you started to grow more tired from your already hectic day “Should I take you back to your house?” Jack yawned.

“Only if you stay there with me” You batted your eyelashes at him knowing it always made him laugh.

“I was going to whether you asked or not” he winked as he started to pull out of the parking lot.

“Just keep your snoring down to a minimum tonight, yeah?” You stuck your tongue out at him.

“I will if you do” he teased you back in response.

“Good one, I’m writing that down to use later” you laughed and he held your hand the entire way home.

#Jack Harlow #Jack Harlow x reader #jack harlow imagines #jack harlow blurb #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow fluff

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crazychaoticizzy · 8 months

Text

Good Grief Part I

Erwin Smith X Reader

Sometimes, the things that seem good for us cause us the most grief, and that is why we should always think through our choices.

WARNINGS: this chapter is mostly fluff however the series is angst, canonverse, suggestive, fade to black, underage drinking, insta love, the opposite of a slow burn we went fast, teenage pregnancy, angst at the end, I think that’s it but let me know if I missed anything!

Word Count: 15.6k (i'm so sorry because it’s no where near over)

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You couldn’t find it in yourself to cry.

Here you were, standing beside your sister at your husband’s funeral and you weren’t crying.

The promise you made to yourself must have applied when he was dead, as well. You truly had no more tears to shed for this man.

You hold a poker face during the service, and when you go up to collect the folded flag and bolo tie that belonged to him, you bow your head and quietly thank Hange, the new commander.

Even Hange can see that you could care less.

You almost worry about how showing no emotion could change your reputation, but as you hand your daughter the things you were given and begin to wheel her to the side of the stage, you decide you don’t care.

You look out at the soldiers Erwin led with a blank face, showing no sympathy for your dearly beloved.

You wonder where it was that everything went wrong—where your marriage to the famous Erwin Smith began going downhill.

There are multiple points in time it could have started, you suppose. It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly when it was, since looking back he truly hadn’t changed like you claimed he had in your last argument.

Perhaps everything was set in motion as early as the night you met him . . .

—

It was a dangerously hot day, the hottest of the summer.

It was busy at the bar, which made an excessive amount of work for both you and your sister that neither of you wanted to do.

You spent your shift pushing forward, constantly keeping the thought of moving out and finding a different job as soon as you could in the back of your mind.

Sure, there was a certain charm to the family owned bar, but it always got so tiring. Patrons were nice enough when sober, but as soon as they had one too many drinks the groping and ogling would begin. Whether it be to employees or other customers, a woman was always getting catcalled.

Your sister, however, didn’t seem to mind it. In fact, Marie always continued work with a soft smile on her face no matter what happened. There would always be talk about how she would be the next to run the bar, as there was no son to inherit it. It made sense, for even when Marie seemed stressed she was always found serving drinks and food.

Sometimes, you thought the bar was her happy place.

You were just beginning to open a keg when he walked in, tall and blond and oh, so handsome. Your heart practically skipped a beat, and you swore you fell in love.

However ridiculous you believed love at first sight to be, there was no denying the attraction you felt toward him since the moment you laid eyes on him.

“Y/n, are you alright?”

You hummed, abruptly peeling your gaze away from the blond and turning to Marie. “What? Oh, yes. I’m fine.”

Marie raised a perfect eyebrow. “Sure? Because you’re spilling beer all over your skirt.”

A soft look of confusion crossed your face, and you started to deny her before you looked down, noticing the new wet spot on the side of your dress.

“Oh!” You flipped the switch on the keg, stopping the flow of alcohol. “Right.” You nervously chuckled, setting the cup you were filling on the counter and grabbing a few napkins. You lifted your skirt and attempted to clean it off, but to no avail. The patch barely dried and you knew it would be weeks before both the smell and the stain would come out.

You sighed, dropping your skirt and tossing the used napkins in the trash. “I’ll have to go change,” you quietly complained to yourself, looking over your skirt again.

Marie hummed, but she was distracted. Her gaze had moved toward the direction you were looking in before she caught your attention. When she saw the two boys (both cadets, they had told her. They came to the bar quite often), she smiled.

“Oh, one of them,” she said. Her smile and tone were suggestive, and you looked up curiously from the lilt in her voice.

“What? Who is them?” Your gaze moved out to the bar, searching through the crowded room of patrons before you found him again. He sat with who you could only assume was his friend at a table facing you. You stared at him for a moment, before quickly averting your eyes and pretending to look around when he moved his attention from his friend to you.

Marie gasped knowingly, holding a hand to her mouth in mock surprise. “It is. Which one?”

Marie moved her head to better see them, trying to puzzle out which it could be before you softly grabbed her by the jaw and turned her to face you.

“Don’t make it obvious!” you whispered. You let go of her face. “Now, can I borrow a dress? Mine are all hanging out to dry.”

You rolled your eyes at your own laziness, wishing at that moment you had done your laundry at an earlier time.

Marie hummed in thought, wondering if she had any clean clothing as well. Her eyes lit up, and she looked at you as she began filling a tray with mugs of alcohol.

“Yes, I do. On my dresser is a new one I bought set out—it’s like a cream color?”

You softly sighed. “I don’t want to be the first one to wear your brand new dress.”

“Well lucky for you, I bought it as a gift for you anyway.” Marie smiled sweetly, lifting the tray before balancing it on one hand and patting your head with the other. “Now go change. You don’t want to smell like alcohol more than you already do.”

You rolled your eyes, fixing whatever she might have done to your hair as you turned and walked up the stairs leading to your family’s living area.

You had lived in this place all fifteen years you had lived and not a single thing had changed. The bar was still downstairs, the slightly singed floral wallpaper your grandmother had bought from a burned down church long ago was still peeling, and the same photos as always had hung up. It brought a sense of comfort knowing that it was unlikely anything would change, but at the same time you felt bored. You wanted some variety.

You opened the door to Marie’s room, easily one of the most organized in the house, and found the sage dress she had been talking about.

You quickly changed, discarding the faded brown dress you had been wearing before on the ground. You kept the white blouse on underneath, slipping the silky green dress over your body.

Marie had really bought this for you? It was so nice, made of quality material and by a good brand. You even tugged on a seam to test it, as most clothing nowadays was flimsy and came apart with the slightest movement, but it didn’t budge.

You smiled, moving the sleeves of your blouse down your shoulders before looking in the mirror Marie had in the corner of her room.

Your smile grew giddy at the sight of yourself, and for the first time you felt pretty. It was the first time you had seen yourself smile with teeth, and you gave yourself a happy twirl in the new dress.

You happily hummed before picking up your soiled dress and taking it back to your room, randomly tossing it somewhere before walking back downstairs.

You still held that giddy smile on your face, feeling like nothing could ruin your mood.

And then you saw Marie talking with the blond boy you had been staring at. You softly nodded to yourself after a moment, accepting the fact that whatever chance you thought you might have had with him was now spoiled.

Sometimes you wished Marie wasn’t as pretty as she was, wasn’t as kind and welcoming as she was, because then maybe you would actually have a chance.

Normally, seeing her talk to someone so obviously in love with her never bothered you, but for some reason seeing the hearts in this blond boy’s eyes (and his friend’s, though you weren’t paying attention to him) had that giddy expression on your face disappear.

You shook your head, continuing to fill mugs with beer and various alcohol and serving waiting patrons.

“Where are you taking me?” you heard someone ask.

“I’m about to change your life.” Marie.

You turned, three mugs filled to the brim in your hand when you nearly ran into him. You caught yourself before the drinks could spill, but you noticed that he held both hands on the cups, steadying them.

“Oh, thank you,” you said, smiling as he moved his hands. You watched as he unknowingly flexed them, making the blue veins more prominent and his fingers look long and elegant and—

Dear lord.

“My sister.” Marie came up beside you, setting the drinks in your hand on the table and linking her arm with yours.

He practically towered over you, shoulders broad with bulk under the clothing he wore. Your mind wandered and for a brief moment you imagined his skin to be tanned and smooth under his shirt before you caught yourself from drifting too far. He smiles, taking your hand and bowing to brush a soft kiss against your knuckles.

“Erwin Smith,” he said, meeting your eyes before standing straight again. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

You softly hummed, dumbly nodding as the already steaming temperature in the room rose.

You stared into his eyes for a moment—his gorgeous blue eyes the color of the endless sky. A soft glint enters them as he tilts his head, waiting for your response.

“Yes. Yes!” you said, as if realizing something as you removed your hand from his and unlinked your arm from Marie’s. “Likewise. Apologies, I’m . . . distracted.”

You watch as Marie slyly moves away, winking at you before taking the three drinks she placed on the table and continuing her work.

You made a mental note to have a small talk with her later.

“May I ask your name?”

You hummed, returning your gaze to his before fully processing his question. “Oh! Yes, sorry I should have led with that. Y/n L/n.”

You offered a shy smile, noticing an emblem on his jacket—two swords crossed in an X. You thought about what it might be for a second, and bowed. “And thank you for your service. I didn’t realize you were part of the training corps.”

Erwin softly chuckles as you straighten yourself out. “No, it’s alright. You are actually the first one to offer respect like that, Y/n.”

He said your name as if he was trying out the way it felt, softly smiling from the way it rolled off his tongue.

“Oh, well, I mean anyone in the military worked hard to get there, so . . .” You trailed off, thinking of what to say. “I suppose I personally believe they deserve the extra rations they get, so long as they aren’t lazy, you know?”

Erwin quirked a brow, giving you a curious look as if asking you to elaborate.

“I mean- I-I didn’t mean you, per say, but—” Your brain scrambled for words to say, hoping you hadn’t somehow offended him.

Erwin chuckles, cutting you off. “No, no, it’s alright. I know what you mean.”

You softly smile, and suddenly the room heated up just a little bit more. “So, can I offer you a drink? Whiskey, beer, ale, water . . .”

And oh, the charming smile he gives you—tilted more to one side than it is the other and showing off his perfect teeth. “Will you sit and share a glass of water with me if I say yes?”

You bite the inside of your cheek, slowly nodding before going off to pour two glasses of water. You turn around, finding that Erwin had found the most quiet corner of the bar to sit in. He was staring at you shamelessly, lips curving up when you made eye contact with him. It made butterflies fly around in your stomach, and you tried your best to bite back a smile as you made your way to him.

You placed the glasses down, sliding onto the bench beside him.

“So, Y/n.” His smile widens as he says your name again. Your lips try curving up again, but you try so hard to hide it so it doesn’t seem like you’re easy. “Tell me about yourself.”

You lean forward, resting your arms against the table and propping yourself on your hand. “Like what?”

“Your favorite color. Things you like doing. What you think about the guy you just met.” You chuckle, making a certain glint come into Erwin’s eyes. This close, you can see a ring of brown in his irises that surrounds his pupils.

“How’s your day?” you ask instead of answering any of his inquiries.

“Much better now that I’m talking to a pretty girl like you.” You bite your cheek and glance away as your heart skips a beat. “What about yours?”

“Well, I’m talking to this insanely attractive guy, so I’d say pretty good.” You turn your gaze back to him, smiling when he laughs.

“What branch are you planning to join?” you ask after a moment, trying to keep any sort of conversation going.

“The Survey Corps,” he replies. He nods his head to his dark-haired friend, who was talking with Marie. “Nile over there wants to join as well. We’re hoping we can change the program together and get one step closer to saving humanity.”

You hum. It’s silent for another moment before he talks again, and that sparks a conversation. You sit there for what seems like hours, exchanging flirty banter and soft smiles. You would have continued, had it not been for your mom getting onto you for not working.

Regretfully, you and Erwin stand. You stack the two empty glasses as Erwin glances outside.

“I have to go as well, actually,” he softly says. He looks back at you, following as you walk back to the bar and put the cups in the sink. “Can I come see you again?”

You lean forward against the counter, softly nodding. “Of course. Just don’t let my parents see that emblem.” You nod your head to the crossed swords embroidered on the left of his jacket. “They actually hate whatever government we have and the choices they make, including the military.”

Erwin nods, standing straight and tapping the tips of his fingers against the wooden counter. “Alright, I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

He watched as you leaned forward, falling into a bow and clasping your hands in front of your chest. “Thank you, again, for all your service.”

“If it takes risking my life for us to meet, it will have been worth it.” Erwin gave you a charming smile as he took your hand, softly kissing it again. Your lips curved up, love-struck as you watched him turn and walk back to his friend.

“So,” Marie dragged the word out, coming up behind you and draping her arm around your shoulders to lean against you.

You don’t answer, noting that Erwin pauses at the door and turns back to scan the bar. His eyes meet yours and he waves before closing the door behind him.

That small bit of eye contact leaves you breathless, and you can’t help but feel a bit childish at how easily smitten you were.

“Marie, that boy is mine,” you say, turning to her. The grin on your face is bright, lighting up the whole room and spreading from ear to ear. You don’t mean for your statement to mean anything malicious, only to tell Marie your intentions with a few words.

Marie gasped, jumping beside you in excitement. “Really? Oh, you must have really liked him.”

You nodded, and the two of you softly giggled and swooned for a few moments before your father got onto you for not working.

You had a smile on your face the rest of the night—a genuine smile that didn’t falter once.

—

Two days later Marie had discreetly given you a letter, an unusual thing, seeing as the only person that regularly received mail was your father.

Even more unusual than that, though, was the fancy wax seal and red rose tied to the envelope with twine.

When Marie had given it to you, she gave the slightest nod toward your room, and the two of you stepped inside.

She handed you the letter as she closed the door, leaving it open just a crack. You took the envelope with curiosity, untying the twine and holding the rose by its stem as you sat on your bed. You twirled it between your fingers, admiring it for a moment gently placing it beside you.

You glanced over the envelope for a hint of who it was from, finding no useful information except your name and address. You turned it over, running your index finger over the wax seal before carefully peeling it open.

You pulled the piece of paper inside out as Marie sat next to you, pressing her body into your side so she could read the letter over your shoulder.

Y/n,

I’m not sure how your family feels about you receiving letters, but I can only hope they won’t find out about this if they don’t like the idea of it. I didn’t put a return address on the envelope in the event your parents found this first, but here it is: ***** ******.

I sincerely hope you’re willing to exchange letters. I’d like to stay in touch with you even if I’m not at the bar with you. One of these days, though, I’m hoping to sweep you off your feet enough that you’ll agree to have me—and then I can be with you all you want.

I truly want to get to know you. You have stars in your eyes and I want to know what makes them so prominent. I want to know your passions and dreams. I want to have endless conversations with you and fantasize a future together where I am yours and you are mine.

I apologize if this is too soon to say anything like that, but I simply want to make my intentions with you clear. I hope we can see each other again soon. And if not, I hope you will at least send a letter back.

Yours truly,Erwin Smith

“Oh, Y/n,” Marie said, pulling away slightly and putting a hand to her heart. “That was the most beautiful letter I’ve ever read.”

You were smiling, so brightly it practically lit up the room as you turned the paper over, starting to reread it.

“Do you think he means it?” you ask, slightly in disbelief that Erwin was choosing you. Being as handsome and charming as he was, surely he was able to pull any girl he wanted.

“How could he not? He seems so infatuated with you.” Marie’s eyes glanced over the letter again. “Just be careful, he seems like the kind of guy willing to sacrifice everything to get what he wants.”

You nod. “I know. But I don’t think—”

“I’m only telling you, Y/n. I just don’t want you to get hurt, so be cautious.” Marie rests her head on your shoulder as she reads over the first couple sentences of the letter again, hand softly grazing your shoulder.

“I will be. You know how I am, Marie.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Marie lifts her head, grabbing the rose and holding it in front of you. “You’re not one to fall so easily. Or so you claim, at least, but with the way you’re swooning over Erwin right now says something different.”

She laughs as you playfully hit her shoulder, halfheartedly pushing you away to avoid any further hits.

“I’m joking! But I do want you to be careful. I don’t think you’ve ever been so . . . emotional over someone.”

You hummed, turning the thought over in your mind and wondering if this whole thing really was ridiculous. You always knew love at first sight could only end badly, but if that’s the case then why did you feel so light? So dizzying and happy and sunny . . .

Surely it couldn’t be all that bad, right?

“It’s alright, though,” Marie started, making you turn your gaze toward her, “because now we know he thinks the stars are in your eyes. And judging by his words he most definitely wants to-”

“Marie!”

You go to playfully hit her shoulder again, cutting off whatever suggestive thing she might have said, but she had already stood up and stepped away by the time you turned.

You chased her around your room, your dresses ruffling as laughter filled the air.

“Girls!” You had both collapsed on your bed, the letter hidden beneath it, when your mother opened the door and stood in the doorway. “Bar opens in five. Get ready.”

You nodded as Marie said, “Yes, ma’am.” When your mother left the two of you shared a glance, bursting into laughter before standing and making yourselves presentable.

You didn’t see Erwin that night, making you wonder if he truly wanted to sweep you off your feet and take you to a world you’ve never known before.

—

One week after that you and Erwin began exchanging letters as quickly as the postal service would allow. He came to the bar as often as he could to see you, but when he couldn’t he would send a beautifully written letter, promising paradise and a better life.

You swooned every time, rereading until you could recite every single word from memory. Erwin might as well have been building palaces and cathedrals with the way he wrote to you, so obviously enamored with everything about you.

Your mother and father, of course, would never approve. They didn’t want their daughters marrying a militiaman. And since Marie had been rather adamant and obvious about her interest in Nile, whatever slim chance you might have had with Erwin was gone.

But that didn’t stop the two of you from sneaking around whenever you could. Every chance Erwin got, he would come find you, whisking you away to a late night picnic in an overgrown garden or to stargaze just beyond the border of your town.

No matter how many times you went on the exact same date, too scared to do anything else in the daylight, you always treasured it.

“Y/n?”

You hummed in response, turning your head to face him. It was one of the nights you went stargazing, laying together in the soft meadow grass as you talked.

“I have to tell you something.”

You smiled, turning on your side and laying your head on your arm. “Okay, what is it?”

“I am in love with you.” Erwin softly grabbed your hand as your eyes widened in shock. He lifted your hand to his lips, pressing soft kisses to your fingertips. “So inexplicably in love with you that you are all I think about day and night. You have me smitten, Y/n, so much so that I’m willing to do anything to make you mine.”

He pressed your palm to his lips, closing his eyes as he left a lingering kiss.

“I don’t have much, if anything at all. I’m living on government funds and the only dollop of fame I’ll ever have is when I die, but I’m hoping that if you feel the same way those things won’t deter you.”

The both of you sit up, Erwin coming closer so he can softly cup your jaw. Your noses brush against each other, breaths mingling together from the closeness.

“I love you, Y/n.”

He presses his lips to yours, so lightly and brief you aren’t even sure if it counts as a kiss. He pulls away quickly, staring into your eyes for a moment before kissing you again—firmer and more self-assured this time.

You can tell it’s his first kiss because he doesn’t know how to do it, but you don’t put that against him because you don’t know how to kiss someone either. It wasn’t at all like the novels you sometimes read, the ones where first kisses were magical and perfect and almost always led to something more.

No, this kiss was not magical, or perfect, or even half decent. It was messy, full of awkward breaths and obvious inexperience. But this was your moment, and you wouldn’t dare change a single thing about it.

When you pull away you tell him that night that you love him, but you remind him again of your family’s distaste for military men. That gave him pause, but after a few moments he smiled.

“I’ll just tell them I’m a mercenary.”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, laughing. “A mercenary? How is that any better than a soldier? They’ll think you’re only using me for money.”

Erwin hums, softly tracing the line of your jaw and gazing into your eyes. “It’s not, but I’ll figure it out.”

You softly smile, leaning forward slightly. “We will figure it out.”

Erwin nods. “We will. And one day, we will have everything you could possibly wish for. I promise.”

He presses his lips against yours again, and you don’t think you’ve ever felt so happy or complete.

—

Work has always been so tiring—especially on nights like this when it was someone’s birthday and everyone flocked to the bar. You weren’t even entirely sure whose birthday it was, but they must have been popular for the bar to be this full.

You tirelessly went from table to table, refilling drinks and serving platters of whatever spare food you could scrape up. Glasses were shattered and you charged more to tabs in hopes of buying new ones. The amount of drunk older men that had suggestively grabbed your waist to slip behind you was worse tonight than it was most, and you had to remind them that you were fifteen more than you wanted.

You were exhausted. It was almost midnight on a Tuesday and there were still more patrons than you could keep track of. You kept messing up orders, and any other day you would have beaten yourself up about it, but you made an exception for yourself.

A hand ghosts across your arm, and you nearly jump and smack whoever had touched you before realizing it was Marie. She gives an innocent smile, holding her hands out to take the tray you hold in your hands.

“I got that,” she says. Instead of waiting for you to hand the tray over, she grabs it herself and nudges you with her shoulder. “Now go. Your lover is somewhere over there.”

She nods her head to the right and you turn, noticing that Erwin was sitting at a table with Nile and another girl. Nile and Erwin weren’t dressed in training attire, trying to blend in more. When Erwin glanced up and noticed you he smiled, standing up and meeting you halfway to the table.

He takes your hand, lifting it to his lips to leave a kiss on your knuckles. “Good evening, my love.”

You smile, readjusting your hands so your fingers are intertwined. “Morning, technically,” you say.

“Barely.” He softly laughs, leaning down to chastely kiss your lips. “It doesn’t matter. It’s still good because I get to see you.”

You smile, looking around to make sure no one is watching after he kisses you a second time. “Have you been waiting this entire time for me?”

Erwin shrugs, leading you back to the table Nile and the other girl sat at. “We only came about an hour ago. I didn’t want to bother you while you were working.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were here, but if I did I would have slipped away.”

Erwin shakes his head. “It’s alright. Besides, you’re very cute when you’re working.”

Your eyes widen, the room suddenly hot. He chuckles at your flustered expression, allowing you to slide onto the bench before him.

You end up across the girl. Her hair is dark and pulled back into a tight ponytail, and she wore a faded brown blouse and slacks. She wasn’t looking your way when you sat down, looking down at whatever she was writing, but then Erwin said her name and she glanced up, first at them then you. She smiled, straightening herself and adjusting the way she sat.

“Hi! Are you Y/n or Marie?” She seemed excitable, putting down her pencil and crossing her arms in front of her.

“Y/n. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” You held out your hand for her to shake.

“Anastasia Brownfield.” She took hold of your hand, her fingers rough and calloused against your own. She gave a firm shake before withdrawing. “I’m part of the training corps with Erwin and Nile.”

So that’s how she knew them. You should have been jealous—you probably would have been if Erwin wasn’t looking at you the entire time Anastasia spoke. But the way she carried herself struck you as odd. She leaned against the table in a way that suggested her legs weren’t pressed together or crossed, and when a pretty girl passed by her gaze followed her and a small smile came to her face.

“She’s pretty,” she quietly mumbled, lifting her glass to her lips before looking back at you.

Anastasia continued the conversation like the two of you were old friends catching up. She was animated, moving her hands along to match with nearly everything she said, and got distracted easily. She could have been in the middle of telling a story before something she said reminded her of something else, the original tale forgotten about.

As she continued talking Erwin and Nile would cut in occasionally, and it felt like the four of you had known each other forever with the way you casually laughed and joked around.

Eventually, the bar started emptying out. You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but you figured it would be smart for the three of them to leave before your parents found you slacking off.

Before he left, Erwin wrapped a hand around your waist and pulled you flush against him. He left a lingering kiss against your temple, quietly whispering, “I’ll see you later.”

He kissed your temple again before pulling away, winking as he followed Nile and Anastasia out. It left butterflies flapping in your stomach, their wings flapping and making you feel all giddy inside.

When you finally gather yourself you continue what you had originally been doing, refilling glasses and washing empty ones.

Over and over again you did that. And you would continue to do that over and over again until the day came where you would be with Erwin, and maybe you would be washing the dishes together in your own house.

—

When Erwin told you that he would see you later, you did not expect to find him throwing small pebbles from the streets at your window to get your attention two hours later.

You had been blowing out the candles lighting your room when you heard the first plink! You paused, looking around before shrugging it off and continuing getting ready for bed.

Plink!

You looked around again, glancing out your window and waiting for the sound again.

Plink!

Your brows furrowed in confusion. You took a match from its box, striking it to relight a candle and cautiously walking toward the window.

You look out, unable to see anything through the reflection of the light. You rest the candle on the windowsill, unlatching the lock and opening the window to look around.

You see him standing across the street. It’s too dark to see his expression, but you imagine he’s smiling.

Erwin crosses the street, face being lit by whatever dim light was still on in the spot below yours.

“What are you doing?” you ask quietly, a chuckle in your voice. “Erwin, do you know how late it is?”

“I said I would see you later.”

You can hear the smile in his voice, and your lips curve up. “I wasn’t expecting you to throw rocks at my window. What if it wasn’t the right one?”

“I would have ran if someone caught me.” You softly chuckle, leaning against the windowsill. “Sprinted away and returned tomorrow.”

“Erwin, do you know what this could do?”

“Nile and Anastasia have me covered. And even if I get caught, I don’t mind being punished by the higher ups. As long as I get to be with you, my love.”

That made you smile, because you knew how important it was to him that he get perfect scores on nearly everything, including his discipline record. “I just don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“Well the chances of getting caught are increasingly higher if I stay out here.”

You can barely see a mischievous smile on his face. You playfully roll your eyes, pulling away from the window. “Give me a moment. Wait at the door.”

You don’t see his reaction because you close the window, latching it closed before grabbing a robe from your desk chair. You shrug it on, tying the belt around your waist as you walk across your room to the door. You slowly open it, looking out to make sure no one was awake before quietly stepping into the hallway.

You walked cautiously, testing the floor to make sure it didn’t creak before continue with every step. You made sure to skip the third stair from the top of the staircase, because that step always created a deafeningly loud screech and alerted everyone that someone was leaving or entering the living room.

You finally allow yourself to breaths when you step off the final stair. No one will be able to hear you, so you’re less paranoid and take less careful steps.

You place the candle on the table closest to the door, looking back to make sure no one was awake and following you before beginning to unlock the door and opening it, slowly to make sure its hinges don’t squeak.

You watch Erwin push himself away from the wall, standing straight to face you. The both of you exchange a smile, and you open the door wider so he can step inside the bar.

You close the door and turn back to him, watching in awe for a moment as he looks around at the silence of the bar.

You step toward him, softly brushing your hands together to get his attention. He looks down, smiling.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi yourself.” You’re not sure what it is, but something about the dreamlike candlelight makes you lean forward to kiss him, standing on tiptoes to reach his lips. You leave a chaste peck on his lips, pulling away with a small smile.

“Why didn’t you tell me you meant tonight?” you ask, taking his hand and leading him to the stairs. “I would have prepared better.”

“I wanted to surprise you.”

You smile, motioning for him to pause just before the door leading upstairs. You opened it, looking around to make sure everyone was still in their rooms before beckoning Erwin in. You held a finger to your mouth as the two of you tiptoed to your room.

You quietly close the door behind you, listening for a moment before you turn toward Erwin and take a couple steps toward him.

“So,” you drag the word out, folding your hands behind your back as you step closer to him. “Is there a reason you came by so late?”

You softly laugh, looking up at him and his blue eyes and his sharp cheekbones.

“I just wanted to spend time with you, my love.” Erwin smiles, making butterflies fly around in your stomach. You try to hide your gleeful smile, but end up failing.

“That’s what our dates are for.”

“No, I mean, just us. Away from watching eyes. Just me and you, Y/n. I don’t want to have to worry about sneaking around on the streets tonight.”

You softly hum, hands gently entwining with his as you gaze into his eyes, so bright and clear like a cloudless sky.

“That sounds nice.”

Erwin’s lips slightly curve up, one hand entwined with yours as the other slowly grazes along your arm and shoulder. His fingertips softly caress your jawline, slightly tilting your head up.

“I got you something.”

Your eyes slightly widen in surprise, more focused on the touch of his hands than his words. “Really?”

He nods, removing his hand from your face and reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a small, black box, slipping it into your hands.

“It’s not much, but I thought you’d like it.”

You tear your eyes away from his, glancing down at the small box in your hands. It’s made of wood, sanded to perfection and smooth beneath your fingers.

“What is it?” you softly ask, looking up at him as you open the box. He doesn’t respond, only smiling as you return your gaze to the opened box and let out a soft gasp. “Erwin? Is this . . .”

You trail off, looking up at him again and watching as he slowly bows down on one knee in front of you.

“It is. Y/n, you truly are the love of my life. You make me want to do anything I can to make you happy and satisfied. I want us to build a future we can love together, but I can only hope you share these dreams with me. So, will you marry me?”

“Yes,” you breathed. You nodded, hiding your giddy smile behind your hand as Erwin stood back up. He gently took the box out of your hand, slipping the ring inside onto your finger before tucking the box back into his pocket.

It was a simple band made from iron, the unrefined surface polished and cleaned. It was a cheap ring, something anyone could buy with spare pocket change if they so wanted, but it was yours. Erwin had picked it out just for you, and while it wasn’t anything special, you wouldn’t change a single thing about it.

You look back up at his eyes, wrapping your arms around him. “Thank you, my love. It’s beautiful, and I can’t wait to be married to you.”

He smiles, sliding his hands under your robe and around your waist to pull you closer. “I’ll get you a better ring when I have the money. A proper engagement ring like you deserve.”

You hum, foreheads pressing against each other and noses brushing together. “You don’t have to. What you’ve given me is already more than I want.”

His lips barely grazed yours, almost as if he was asking permission to kiss you. “I want to give you everything. Everything you’ve ever wanted will be yours, darling. I promise you that.”

“What about a kiss?” You pull away slightly to look up at him through your lashes, blinking innocently. “Please?”

Erwin lets out a breathy chuckle, pulling you back against him. “How could I say no?”

His lips press against yours, more practiced than the first time but still unsure. You hum into the kiss, gliding the tips of your fingers over the back of his neck until you can thread them through his hair.

He pulls you as close as he possibly can, your bodies flush against each other as you share the passionate kiss. He unties the belt around your waist, sliding the robe off your shoulders slow enough that you can protest whenever you want.

You don’t. You let the robe fall on the ground, hands sliding down his chest.

You softly gasp as his hands move down, ghosting over the curve of your hips before he tentatively lifts you up.

The kiss breaks, and you look at him curiously as he steps closer to your bed.

“Erwin?” you quietly ask as he places you down on the edge of the bed.

“We won’t do anything unless you want to,” he whispers. He leans forward, touching his forehead to yours. “I just want to be with you.”

You softly nod, wrapping your arms around him as you kiss again. You gently lay on your back, breathing heavily as Erwin crawls on top of you.

He kisses you again, once very quickly on the lips before he begins trailing kisses down your jaw. “Do you want to?”

“We have to be quiet,” you say, letting out a soft breath.

“That’s not what I asked. I asked if you wanted to do this.”

You pause for a moment, hesitating before you nod.

“Are you sure?”

You nod again, more sure of yourself before you rethink and shake your head. “Not yet.”

Erwin smiles against your neck, leaving one last lingering kiss before he pulls away. “Okay.” He lays down beside you, eyes following the outline of your silhouette as he pushes a strand of hair away from your face.

Your face paints itself into a smile, and you turn on your side so you can face him better. You take hold of his hand, gently rubbing circles across his knuckles with your thumb.

Erwin lifts your hand to his lips, kissing your fingers. “I love you.”

You softly hum, scooting closer to him and wrapping your arm around him. “I love you, too.”

He lets go of your hand, wrapping both arms around your figure and pulling you closer to him.

“I have to leave soon,” he says, which is the most tragic part about this entire thing. The time you spend together is fleeting, and you feel as if the two of you spend more time watching the clock than enjoying each other.

“I know,” you say quietly, trailing off slightly. “I don't want you to.”

Erwin nods, planting a kiss to the top of your head. “I know you don’t, but I have to, my darling. I swear that one day you’ll have me all to yourself.”

You softly sigh, closing your eyes. “When will that be?”

“Now that you’re my fiancée, hopefully soon.” Erwin takes a deep breath, relishing in the smell of your hair. “Your parents would never approve of this. I’d like to win their favor first.”

“I wish they didn’t hate the military so much. Then we could be more public about this.”

“One day soon, Y/n. If there is one promise I swear to fulfill, it is that.” Erwin presses his lips against the top of your head again, holding them there.

“Stay,” you whisper. “Please. Just for a bit longer.”

He hums into your hair. “A couple more minutes.”

You nod, hugging him tighter and pulling him closer.

The two of you chastely lay together in silence, the soft sound of Erwin’s heartbeat being the only thing you hear. He plays with the ends of your hair, face pressed into your locks as you begin subconsciously counting how many times his heart beats until you forget what number you were on and have to restart.

Erwin doesn’t leave while you’re awake. He stays beside you, holding you against his body and basking in your presence the same way you bask in his.

You fall asleep in his arms, unsure of how long he was with you or if he even stayed.

—

You awoke the next morning to the sound of your door slamming shut.

You immediately sat up, looking around for a moment while you gathered yourself and fully woke up. Erwin was gone, your bedsheets were rumpled and your breath was stale. You yawned, and almost laid back down before you heard glass shatter.

“Get out of my house, you goddamn military mutt!”

Fuck.

You jumped out of bed, legs getting caught in the blankets, and stumbled across the room. You untangled your legs as you moved, reaching to open your bedroom door.

“Dad? What-”

“You want to tell me why he was in your room this morning?”

You paused, frozen in the doorway to your bedroom as you processed his words. Your eyes darted around the living room, finding Erwin standing against the wall. His hair was a mess, blond strands falling onto his forehead.

Your eyes widen, and you immediately try to calm whatever anger your father was feeling. “Dad, it’s not what you-”

“Bullshit!” You flinched back, the resounding sound of your father’s voice bouncing off the walls. “He was in your room this morning so obviously you’re sneaking around like a whore!”

“I-I’m not! We didn’t even do anything. Please, I-”

He slapped you then, a loud, striking sound that seemed to echo in the room.

Time seemed to freeze with you. You heard ringing, turning your head to face your father. Except when you turned back, your mother held a firm grip on his arm and pushed him away from you. She said something you didn’t hear, the words muffled and muddled together, before she turned to Erwin.

“Out,” she said, pointing to the door. Erwin moved without a word or complaint, glancing back at you once before he closed the door to the bar behind him.

Your mother took a deep breath, sniffing. She blew out an exasperated breath and turned toward you.

She looks just like Marie. The same brown hair and eyes and faint splay of freckles across her cheeks. You could see the dark circles under her eyes, even in the dim light of the early morning.

She stared at you in silence, arms crossed and eyes pensive. She looked at the ground after a moment, softly shaking her head.

When she looked back up at you her warm eyes were colder than ice.

“How could you?” Her voice was unwavering and assertive, making you feel small and unimportant. You would have crawled back to your room if she wasn’t staring you down. You hear your father breath out and notice him stepping into another room to collect himself.

Your mother sighed again, walking to the couch and sitting on the edge. She ran both hands through her hair and leaned back. “You let him into your room. You let that government pawn into your room to do God knows what to you.”

“That’s not-”

“Your father and I raised you better. We have been lenient in letting you and Marie hang around them, but now you go and spread your legs for someone that’ll tire of you as soon as he gets promoted.”

“Mom, no, we didn’t-”

“He doesn’t love you-”

“He does!” You’re surprised at yourself for a moment, standing in stunned silence for only a second before continuing. “He loves me, Mom. And I love him. And-And we’re going to get married.”

She stared at you, not allowing any hint of what she was thinking or feeling to show on her face. She eventually closes her eyes and breathes out through her nose, rubbing her forehead. “You’ve hardly known him a month-”

“You and dad got married after one week of knowing each other.”

“It was different then, Y/n,” she snaps, harshly glaring at you. “Everything was different when your father and I got married.”

“You only got married because you were gonna have Marie,” you mutter. You had meant for it to be a thought, even a whisper quiet enough you could barely hear it. But it slipped out louder than you intended, making your mother snap her mouth shut. You’re left staring at each other, almost to see who backs down first.

“Mom, please just give him a chance. I promise he’s not what you think,” you say.

“We gave him a chance and look what happened!” Your mother threw her arm out, motioning to your room and the general situation. “He’s a teenage boy, Y/n. He’s too young to know what he wants to commit to. You know better than to give yourself to the first boy that gives you attention-”

“It’s not just attention! I’m not mistaking attention for love. He wants me and he wants me to be happy and he wants to build a life together.”

Your father comes back out then. He takes slow steps to the couch, sitting down with your mother.

It’s completely silent as he does. You find yourself wondering where Marie is while your parents wordlessly communicate. You stare at a spot on the wall opposite from you until your dad sighs, and you turn your gaze to him.

“Y/n, we just want what’s best for you. We were young once, too and we regret some of the choices we made.” He clasps his hands together, leaning forward against his knees. “We don’t want you making a life changing mistake like this. You’ll find someone better suited to be a husband in the future. A military man can’t give you what you want.”

“I don’t want another man. I want Erwin. He’s everything I want, dad.”

Your father sighs, running a hand through his graying hair. It’s obvious he’s conflicted. He wants you to do whatever makes you happy, but he knows big decisions like this have consequences.

“You don’t have to give us your blessing,” you softly say. “We can get married on our own and get out of your hair. You won’t have to see us again.”

“Y/n, we never said we wanted you to leave. We just want you to think this through.”

You’re silent, feeling like a scolded child because you have thought it through. This is what you want to be happy.

You wait until your parents tell you to go before walking to your room. You close the door behind you, sliding down against it until you sit on the floor with your legs pulled against your chest.

You stare off into space, your mind noisy with all the thoughts running through it. You aren’t even sure what half of them are, but you’re positive of one thing.

You want to marry Erwin Smith, and you will do whatever you can to make that dream your reality.

—

Over the course of the next month, you work tirelessly; doing anything for tips and helping out wherever you go to the market during the day for extra cash.

Both Erwin and Nile had been banned from the bar. At first you didn’t take it seriously, but any thoughts you had of sneaking either of them in were quickly dismissed when your father shot at them with his musket, just barely missing their heads.

You’re not sure if it was just a scare tactic your father had used to force you to think over your decision. But needless to say, you had learned a more discreet way to communicate so you didn��t get caught. You found out that Anastasia came through quite often to visit her family. Neither of your parents knew she was in the military, so she was the messenger between you and Erwin.

The two of you would meet in the market as often as you could. She would give you the letters he had written and she would deliver yours to him. It wasn’t the best method, but it was the best you could do.

You hid every single letter you received, storing them in an old tin box that used to house cookies. The box was hidden under your bed, concealed by your blanket the majority of the time. Any time you felt lonely you would bring it out, looking through each letter and being reminded of what you’re working towards.

You hadn’t told Erwin about the choice you made, because if you did he would tell you he wasn’t worth it and convince you to stay with your family. And it would have worked because God he could convince you of just about anything.

You had begun devising a plan. Since Erwin had chosen to join the Scout regiment while the two of you were apart, the letters became less frequent and more like an unexpected gift each time you received one. You had started planning what days he would have off, which days he would be able to travel to you and sweep you off your feet.

You decided November fourth, because that was the start of a mandatory military break given due to Erwin’s commander sustaining a severe injury outside the walls.

Over the course of the next two months you save money, picking up whatever odd jobs you could and selling what you wouldn’t need in the near future. You stored your savings in a can that used to be filled with rationed corn, hiding it in plain sight.

Early on November third, you packed a bag and spent most the day writing letters to your parents and Marie. You asked in the letter if Marie would be your maid of honor if she could find time off, and hid everything behind your open bedroom door during the day.

The work day dragged on, and you found yourself asking for the time every couple seconds to see if it had moved any faster. The minutes seemed like hours, and you swear the hours took longer to pass. Every time you looked out the window the sun still shone bright, as if it was mocking you from the sky.

Even when the moon came out you still had to wait.

You might as well have waited a lifetime, because as soon as the bar closed you feigned exhaustion and retreated to your room to make sure you had everything ready to leave. You reread the letters before sealing them in their envelopes and waited even longer.

It was nearly dawn when the house finally quieted down and you could sneak out. You were honestly exhausted, and could barely keep your eyes open, but now was your only chance. If you didn’t leave now, you wouldn’t be able to when everyone wakes up.

You tiptoed out of your room, leaving the first letter to your parents on the kitchen counter. Then you moved to Marie’s room, where you heard quiet whispering from inside.

You paused to listen for a moment, hearing the cadence of Nile's voice but not recognizing anything they said.

You slid the letter to Marie under her door before rushing out of the house and bar forever.

You didn’t look back. Not once did you even think about it.

You found yourself waiting in the market, placing your suitcase down and patiently sitting on it as you waited.

The sun had risen and four merchants had opened up shop by the time you saw Erwin, handsome as ever and looking around eagerly, hopefully searching for you. Someone followed him, and you recognized her dark hair.

Anastasia looked around as well, smiling and pointing to you when she spotted you. She said something to Erwin, making him turn his head in the direction she’d pointed in.

You stood, running up to Erwin when a look of recognition crossed his face. He moved faster, scooping you up and spinning you around when you got close enough.

You were elated, heart beating quickly from being held so close. You could feel his warmth despite the layers of clothing he wore. You squeezed him tighter, taking in his smell, his presence, his arms around you, his body.

“You bulked up a bit,” you said, face pressed against his shoulder.

“Survey Corps,” he simply said. He pressed his lips against the side of your head. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“I love it. I love you.”

You felt him smile against your hair, and it was just another moment where it was just the two of you in the universe before you heard someone clear their throat.

“People are watching, guys,” Anastasia said. “Wasn’t the whole point of this for people not to know?”

Erwin carefully placed you back on the ground, hand on your waist to keep you close. “Yeah, you’re right.” He let out a heavy breath, looking down at you. “Your parents are really okay with this?”

You nodded. “They gave us their blessing.” And you felt so bad for lying. But this is what you wanted. You wanted Erwin and nothing else.

Erwin nods again, clearly slightly nervous about the whole situation. “Anastasia, you said you knew somewhere we could stay for a bit?”

Anastasia gave a thumbs up, and it was then that you noticed she carried your suitcase in one hand. “Yup. My uncle’s house is only a couple blocks down from here. He has a spare room the two of you can stay in until you leave.”

“And he can officiate marriages, right?” you asked, holding your hand out in an offer to take back your bag.

Anastasia nodded as she handed your suitcase to you. “Yes. It’s a cheap piece of paper, but yes, he can legalize marriages.”

She had told you all about that. She’d mentioned that her uncle wanted to discreetly marry same sex couples without judgment, so he bought an officiant license to do just that. She had said it multiple times, actually. Sometimes twice every time you asked, but you just had to make sure one more time.

“Alright, lovebirds, let’s go.” Anastasia nodded to the right, readjusting the hat on her head before she began walking.

You and Erwin followed behind her, silently talking amongst yourselves.

At least, you would have been doing that. But something in the air had changed around you and you didn’t talk. There was a kind of weight, seemingly holding you back from speaking a word to each other as you followed Anastasia.

The house she led you to was cramped. It was a small living space made for two people at most, not the five that would be staying.

Anastasia walked up a flight of stairs, telling you and Erwin to stay downstairs until she comes back. You notice for the first time as she motions to chairs that she’s missing both her left ring and pinky fingers.

She walks up the stairs, leaving you and Erwin awkwardly standing there.

You turned to Erwin when his knuckles brushed against yours and he linked your pinkies. He wordlessly led you to one of the couches, sitting down with you. You smiled at him, the two of you doing nothing but stare at each other for a moment.

“Hi,” he said. He smiled, big and wide and showing off his perfect teeth.

“Hi yourself.” You felt butterflies staring at him again, especially being this close. It was the closest you had dared be in broad daylight, and something about not having to hide from the light made your stomach flip.

“How’s it been with your parents?”

“Good,” you said. “The bar’s doing good.”

You didn't elaborate, leaving the two of you in a moment of silence.

“How is it with the Scouts? Are you enjoying it?”

Erwin nodded, leaning back against the couch, crossing his legs at the ankles and resting his arm against the back behind you. “Yeah, it’s fine. Nile and I were supposed to join together, but he, uh,” Erwin paused, thinking about his next words. “He ended up joining the Military Police.”

“Why?” You turned slightly, moving to see him better.

You saw him bite the inside of his cheek in thought. He clicked his tongue. “Marie. He . . . He wants to protect her.”

You hum, slowly nodding. “So he wants to go to the innermost wall where it’s safest.”

“Yeah.” Erwin blew out a breath, moving his hand to softly grab yours. “But it’s going well. Anastasia and I were assigned to the same captain, so we’ll be working together more.”

“Have you gone out yet?”

He shakes his head. “Not far. We went out once and attracted Titans so we had to turn back. We lost a couple people.”

It’s silent for a moment. Erwin runs his thumb across your hand, turning the cheap iron ring around your finger.

“I’m glad you made it back.”

He hums, and the silence returns. It borders the line of being uncomfortable and acceptable, and you can’t quite tell which it’ll fall into.

It seems like an eternity until you hear voices. Anastasia and a man that must have been her uncle come bounding down the stairs.

“Okay, guys. This is my Uncle Henry. He’s the one officiating your marriage.” Anastasia motions to the man beside her, and he smiles and bows his head.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you two. I assume you’re wanting to spend some time alone beforehand, correct?” He pauses for a moment, waiting for one of you to nod before continuing. “Well, we have your room ready. It’s pretty cramped, but hopefully you don’t mind.”

Henry smiles, and you graciously thank him before he leads you to said room. He was right—it’s very cramped. There’s hardly room to walk around the bed, but you and Erwin manage.

Henry leaves you to your own devices, closing the door behind him.

Something about not having to sneak Erwin into the room made it feel different. It wasn’t stolen kisses and whispered words anymore—this time people knew he was with you. Alone. Unaccompanied and unsupervised.

You didn’t know what to do with yourself.

You both awkwardly stood in the doorway after Henry left. You held your suitcase close to your body, arms glued to your sides in an attempt to make yourself as small as possible as you took in the room.

The bed is pressed against the wall, a window with streaming rays sitting to its left. The walls are cream, evidence of a child drawing on the wall beneath the window.

Your fingers lightly tapped against the handle of your bag. You looked down, glancing at Erwin through your peripheral.

The silence was unbearable, so thick you could cut it with a knife, but you didn’t know what to say.

You lifted your head and watched as Erwin strolled further into the room, placing his suitcase down on the side of the bed closest to the window. He takes off his coat, undoing the cufflinks holding the fabric around his wrists together.

“At least we’re finally alone together. Now we can be as loud as we’d like.” Erwin smirks as your eyes widen and he pushes his sleeves up his forearms. He stepped back in front of you, brushing your hands together so he could take your suitcase.

“Let me take that,” he whispers. When you let go of your luggage’s weight, he leans forward, softly pressing his lips to yours.

“I missed you,” you say against his lips.

Erwin hums, breaking the kiss for just a moment to put your bag on the ground before he kisses you again. He lifts you up as you wrap your arms around him. You softly gasp, holding onto him tighter.

“Is this okay?” he mumbles as he walks over to the bed. He gently sits you down, kneeling and pressing his forehead against yours. “Please tell me if you want this.”

You think for a second, thinking back to weeks ago when he initially asked you that and you said no. You don’t feel the same as you did then. You don’t feel as if you were just supposed to say yes out of obligation. Now you want to say yes.

You nod.

“Are you sure?” Erwin’s breath is heavy, his lips ghosting over your own.

“I’m sure.”

His eyes scan your expression for a moment. When he sees that you are beyond a doubt positive of your decision, he kisses you again.

You hum and softly thread your fingers through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp as he pulls away and begins trailing kisses along your jaw.

“You’re beautiful.” He left a lingering kiss beneath your ear as his hands slowly traveled along your body, his fingers tracing your waist.

You smile, eyes closed as Erwin slowly undoes the laces of your corset. You don’t stop him, and when he asks if what he’s doing is okay you nod and politely urge him to continue.

The laces are halfway undone when you hear a faint knock on the door. The two of you freeze, waiting a moment before you hear the knocking again.

“Y/n? I know you’re in there.” Anastasia.

“What is it?” you ask. Erwin lets out a heavy breath, pressing his forehead against your shoulder.

“We said we’d go out and get stuff, remember? Like flowers or something, I dunno.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, turning your head to face the ceiling because yes, you had agreed to do that. But that was before you were held in Erwin’s arms again.

“Is it possible to move it to later?”

“Not really. There’s like, a thing. And another thing. And one more thing that’s kind of important.”

You sighed at Anastasia’s vagueness. Now you were aware that she had brewed up some sort of scheme, and you weren’t entirely sure how comfortable you were with it.

“Listen if you don’t respond I’m coming in,” Anastasia says after it had been quiet too long. You heard the doorknob turn.

“No!” both you and Erwin call out. He had lifted his head from your shoulder and turned to look at the door.

“Knew it. You two were getting down and dirty in there. And before you’re even married. The scandal.” You heard Anastasia quietly snicker as Erwin sighed, leaning against his arm and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“She’ll be out in a minute,” Erwin says. He uses a commanding tone that makes you feel hot. The hand he holds on your thigh scorches your skin through the fabric of your skirt, and when he starts drawing small circles with his thumb you almost melt.

“Okay . . .” Anastasia draws out the word. “I’ll be waiting in the lobby.”

You hear her footsteps retreat, and when you’re sure she’s completely gone you groan and fall back onto the bed.

“I’m sorry,” you say, running your hands over your face. “I completely forgot about that.”

Erwin chuckles, the bed quietly creaking as he stands up. He gently grabs your hands, pulling you so you stand in front of him. He moves your hair out of your face, saying, “It’s alright, darling. We can always do it later.”

He laughs when your eyes widen in shock. He kisses your forehead before he pulls away, letting go of you.

“I’ll see you later.” He smiles, watching as your hands redo the laces on your corset.

“I love you,” you say. You reach the door, placing your hand on the doorknob and turning back to him.

He had seated himself back on the bed, leaning back with his legs crossed. smiled when you said those words, tilting his head up.

“I love you, too.”

You close the door behind you, going back downstairs to join Anastasia on whatever little adventure she had planned.

As it turns out, that adventure was simply finding pretty flowers, Marie and Nile. All three things were in the central market, and all together. Marie and Nile had been looking at a flower booth, picking out hydrangeas and roses.

Marie had smiled when she saw you. She embraced you in a tight hug, saying something about how proud she was that you had started paving your own path.

She looped her arm around yours and did not let go. It wasn’t long until the four of you returned to Henry’s house. Flowers were put into vases and placed around the living room, and soon enough you were shoved into another room to get ready.

—

You slowly blew a breath from your lips, eyes flitting around the room without giving a single object more than a fleeting glance. Your fingers tapped against the stem of the already wilting flowers in your hands, and you had started clicking your tongue against the roof of your mouth.

“Will you calm down? You’re giving me anxiety,” Marie said, softly laughing at the sidelong glance you gave her. “I’m kidding. But seriously, why are you so nervous? It’s not like Erwin suddenly ran away, he’s right out the door and down the stairs if you would just open the goddamn door-”

“I’m not opening the door,” you say. You take another deep breath, straightening your back and rolling your shoulders. “What if he sees me and decides he doesn’t want to be married? Mom and Dad would never take me back into the family, what would I do if that happens-”

Marie put her hands on your shoulders, softly shaking you. “Y/n. Erwin stayed after almost being shot at when Mom and Dad kicked him out. And when that happened, your hair was half-done and you were wearing a robe and he still blew you a kiss. I sincerely doubt he’s going to leave, especially with you wearing that and looking as pretty as you do.”

She fixes the sleeves of your cream dress—the same one you wore the night you and Erwin met.

“What if he has second thoughts?”

Marie blew a breath through her nose, holding you by the arms again. She stared at you, her brown eyes a passage into her soul and deepest thoughts.

“I promise you he won’t. Nile and Anastasia both say he doesn’t shut up about you when they hang out. They’re tired of hearing it.” Marie laughs, looping her arm through yours. “Nothing will go wrong. I promise. And if it does, I will take Dad’s musket and shoot Erwin myself.”

Her threat makes you snort, and you bring a hand up to cover your mouth as you laugh. Marie smiles beside you, taking a deep breath before placing a hand on the doorknob.

“Ready?”

You inhale, holding the breath as you nod. Just on the other side of this door is your future. Your entire world is standing just outside and waiting for you.

You can feel your heart beating, can hear the throbbing of it in your ears. A chill runs down your spine, making you wonder where all these nerves suddenly came from.

“I’m ready.”

Marie smiles, mouthing something you didn’t catch before pushing the door open.

Marie led you down the hallway, stepping in front of you to go down the stairs first. She waits for you at the bottom, taking your arm as you descend the stairs.

You look around the living room and take everything in. Nothing had changed, but somehow the flowers make the room seem more alive and vibrant.

And then your eyes land on Erwin, and the breath you had been holding gets released. Tall and blond and still oh, so handsome—just like the night you met him.

He smiles when he sees you, because he just can’t believe he managed to make you fall in love with him. You were ethereal to him, your smile alone radiant enough to light the entire world.

Nile and Anastasia both sit in wooden chairs, both dressed nicer than usual and smiling as they watch their friends.

When you finally take Erwin's hands it feels like you’re on top of the world. You want everything to stop for just a second so you can enjoy this moment longer. You exchange your vows and promises to each other, and it’s everything you could have wished for and more.

And then you kiss and god it’s just pure magic. You don’t think there’s ever been a moment in history where someone was happier than you were as you kissed your new husband.

You and Erwin pulled away for just a second before you kissed again, this time wrapping your arms around each other. You heard Anastasia whistle, saying, “Aye, hands to yourselves, guys. Save that for the bedroom.”

It makes you pull away from Erwin to laugh, leaning against him as he holds you close.

The rest of the evening is filled with laughter. The six of you all enjoy each other’s company, getting to know each other more and more.

You and Erwin cling to each other, always touching in some way and never letting the other out of sight.

And it translates well later, when Marie and Nile have left and Anastasia and Henry have gone to bed. It leaves you and Erwin as the only ones away, sharing slow, sensual kisses as you slowly undress and touch each other.

—

Golden rays streamed through the windows, creating an ethereal, early morning glow around everything.

You shared whispered words with Erwin, talking about where you should move to. You couldn’t help but stare at the beautiful man in front of you, your husband. The entire situation was dreamlike with the way Erwin was backlit from the sun. It created a glow around him that made you believe he might be an angel, highlighting his blue eyes.

“Where do you think we should go?”

“Maybe Trost. We passed through it on our last expedition. It’s a nice place, good people.”

You hummed, fidgeting with Erwin’s fingers as you thought. God, you could not look away from his face. The curve of his nose was beautiful, and the tilt of his lips when he noticed you staring was just so alluring.

“What are you thinking about?” he softly asks, not wanting to disturb the atmosphere around you two.

“Just you.” You smiled, quietly laughing when he wrapped an arm around your bare waist and pulled you flush against him. “And us.”

“What about us?” He nudged his nose against yours, lips just barely ghosting each other.

“Just our future. Where we’ll end up.” You let out a soft breath and closed your eyes, content with everything you have now. “When do you leave?”

“Three days.” Erwin sighed, pressing his forehead against yours. “And then I’m gone for about three weeks.”

You hummed, expression slightly faltering. But you weren’t sad. You knew that marrying him meant you would be alone more often than not. You had prepared yourself for this.

“Okay. Maybe I can start a business or something in that time. Just something for us to have a little extra money. I can make clothes,” you said.

Erwin smiled at your response, lightly tracing your spine with his fingertips. “I’ll be back for a few weeks after, though. We can be together more then.”

Your lips curve up, and you finally drew your gaze away from his to tuck your head where his neck met his shoulder. You left a soft kiss on his collarbone, letting out a satisfied breath as you basked in his presence.

“When should we start going?” you ask. “To Trost, I mean.”

“You want to go to Trost?”

You nod. “Why not? You said it seemed like a good place, so let’s go there.”

Erwin’s fingers softly tapped against your back. After a moment he stopped, instead splaying his hand across the small of your back and pulling you as close as possible.

“We should probably go before I leave, then. I don’t want you here for three more weeks, but I want to experience this first with you.” His face pressed against the top of your head, and he took a deep breath before continuing. “I want us to be a happy family.”

You smile. “We are a happy family. And we’ll be even happier as time goes on.”

And you were. You spent the rest of the day with Anastasia and her uncle before you left for Trost.

It was almost overwhelming. You realized as you looked for an available house that you truly had no idea how to be an adult and do these things, but it’s lucky that Erwin was there because he managed to figure it out and buy a lovely little house at the edge of the district.

You go out and find vendors that sell fabric after that, hoping to find a few pieces that you can hopefully make into clothing and sell. When you got back home he helped the two of you get settled down, and you made love once more in your new house before he had to leave.

You send him off with a passionate kiss, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him down to your level. You make him promise to return to you alive and in one piece before kissing him again.

And then he leaves, and you’re left in your new feelings of love.

—

You found out you were pregnant from the little clues your body gave you. You ignored them at first, telling yourself you missed your period because of the stress from making clothes, telling yourself that the nausea was from eating something weird the night before, telling yourself that the soreness on your lower back and chest was from sitting hunched over your desk as you sewed.

But one morning after throwing up you sat against the wall and thought about it. You put all the symptoms together and thought about what they could mean before the possibility of being pregnant dawned on you.

You stared at the panel of wood across from you for what seemed like hours before a tear slipped down your cheek.

You didn’t know why you were crying. You didn’t even know if this was a good thing or not. But you sat in that same spot for what must have been days just letting tears silently fall down your cheeks. You remember you grabbed your hair close to the roots and tugged, wanting to pull it out. You had pressed the heels of your hands against your eyes, hoping to stop the flow of hot tears before you stood up.

You took a deep breath and composed yourself, blinking the remaining tears from your eyes and wiping the wetness from your cheeks with a cloth.

When you walked out of the bathroom, you ignored your revelation for as long as you could, hoping you were wrong. And it worked for a while. You dealt with the nausea and the soreness and the annoying voice in the back of your head telling you to start preparing for whatever baby might be on the way. You ignored it all and continued with your life as usual, making clothes and cleaning whatever mess you made and making food for one.

Of course, there was the occasional letter Erwin sent that told you his break was postponed. Every time it was because of something different. Be it the commander had gotten hurt again, there weren’t enough soldiers to spare, or some paperwork needed to be filled out. It didn’t matter what it was, there was always a reason for Erwin to stay.

It didn’t matter, though. Because you had everything figured out. You were making enough of a living on your own to provide for yourself and still have leftover money to do what you pleased with.

Sure, it had been almost four months since you last saw Erwin, but that was to be expected. He was part of the Scouts regiment, his schedule was bound to be busy.

All throughout that, you had been able to ignore your earlier revelation of being pregnant. In fact, you had nearly forgotten about it completely with how easily you were able to weave the daily dizzy spells and vomit into your life.

That is, you were able to ignore it until four and a half months later when you started to show. Your clothes started fitting just a little bit tighter and two weeks later you found yourself measuring the size of your stomach to make dresses that fit comfortably.

When you seemed to finally realize you were growing a child inside of you, you became more cautious of the things you did. You immediately sen Erwin a letter informing him of your pregnancy and started giving yourself bigger servings of food to help the baby inside of you grow and receive nourishment.

Erwin had yet to come back, but you had sent a strongly worded letter to Commander Keith Shadis, begging him to allow your husband to come home even if it was only for a day.

It worked, and a week and a half later you opened the front door to your husband, concerned and asking what was wrong before his eyes trailed down to your stomach. His eyes had widened, and you had to gently pull him by the arm to get him inside the house.

He stood in shock as you grabbed his luggage and set it to the side and took off his coat and hung it for him—all the things a good wife does for her husband. He abruptly turned his head in your direction as you hung his coat, mouth slightly agape as he took in your form again.

His eyes lingered on your stomach. It was barely noticeable, but it was an obvious change for someone that hadn’t seen you in months.

He took a tentative step closer to you and gently grabbed your hand. You look up at him, meeting his piercing gaze. You can’t discern exactly what he’s feeling, but he squeezes your hand and you figure that must count for something.

“Darling, are you . . ?” He can’t finish his sentence, but you know what he’s asking. You almost want to shake your head and deny it, and you probably would if it weren’t so obvious.

But you nod. And you watch as Erwin drops to his knees and begs for forgiveness.

—

The silence is deafeningly loud at dinner that night. Erwin holds your hand in his as your forks silently clang against the bowls. He runs his thumb over your knuckles, almost as if he’s scared to let you go. He keeps giving you apologetic looks, glancing over when he thinks you aren’t looking.

“I’m fine,” you finally say when you’re able to make eye contact with him. “Just . . .”

You trail off, making a vague hand motion to yourself. Erwin nods, and he doesn’t give you an apologetic glance again. But his hold on your hand does tighten. When you stand up to collect the dirty dishes, Erwin stands as well. He picks up the bowls and forks before you get the chance to, leaving you standing by the table helplessly.

“I can do things on my own,” you softly say when he comes back. He pushes both of your chairs in and takes your hands in his again. He looks down at you with heartbroken eyes and licks his lips before talking.

“I know. I just feel so bad that I wasn’t here.” He squeezes your hands, pressing his soft lips to your forehead. You close your eyes, allowing yourself to bask in the feeling of it after going what felt like forever without his touch. “I should have been here.”

“It’s okay,” you say, because it really is. He was busy and had things more important than his wife on his plate. He can’t be there for you like you want all the time. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

“I should have been here then. You shouldn’t have had to keep this for so long.”

“I told you about it in the letters I wrote.”

“What letters?” There was just the smallest sense of panic in his voice, and when you opened your eyes to look at him you saw the tips of his ears turn red.

“Did you not get my letters?” Your brows pulled together in a confused glance because you’re sure you addressed them correctly. Maybe you didn’t even send them to begin with. Or maybe they simply got lost in the mail.

But no, you did nothing wrong. Erwin had seen every single envelope addressed to him, and he always smoothed his finger over the edges before he set it down and told himself he’d read it later.

He never did. But you didn’t need to know that.

“I-I didn’t,” he lied. And he felt so bad about lying because you had done nothing to deserve being lied to. You had only been the wife he’d dreamed of having, waiting patiently for him to come home after weeks of being away.

He watched your expression fall. It wasn’t a drastic change, but it was just enough for him to notice.

“Oh. That-That’s alright. They probably got lost or something. Postal service, you know?” You let out a fake, pained chuckle before clearing your throat and glancing away. “But, uhm, yeah. I guess this is kind of it.” You vaguely motioned to yourself, biting the inside of your cheek.

Erwin stared at you, not knowing what to say as he watched you chew on your lip. You two stood in silence for what must have been hours before you finally drew out a breath and walked away. You didn’t know where you were going, but you assumed you would just figure that out as you went.

And you do figure it out, because you remember a dress you agreed to make for someone that’s waiting in the living room. Erwin follows you through the house, hesitantly putting his hand on your shoulder once you had started working.

“My love, are you upset?” His voice is soft, acting as if he were in a library.

You shake your head, not moving your focus from the needle and thread in your hands. “I’m fine. What would I even be upset about?”

“Y/n, I am so sorry. I would have come running if I’d known you were pregnant.” Erwin knelt beside you, placing a hand on your thigh and gently squeezing. The other was warm on your back, and you noticed how much rougher they had gotten as he traced small circles on the exposed skin of your nape.

“I said I was fine. I’m just tired.” That much was true. You were exhausted. You never imagined being pregnant would take this much out of you.

“Please let me do something for you. I can rub your back, or clean something, or-or make you breakfast tomorrow.” He sounds desperate, and the way he slightly pulls your leg to get you to face him tells you that he truly is. You can see the guilt in his blue eyes, and God it makes you feel so bad because he feels this way because of you. Sure, you expected some sadness and longing to come from this relationship, but not this.

So you give in. You put down your work, let your shoulders slump as you face him, and let out a breath. “Okay,” you say quietly. “You can make breakfast for me tomorrow if you want.”

Erwin lets out a relieved breath and closes his eyes, mouthing something you don’t catch before he presses your foreheads together and leaves a lingering kiss on your lips.

“Thank you.” His mouth stays against yours as he says it, and he kisses you again. “I promise to make everything up to you. I told you that you’d have everything you ever wanted in our marriage and I intend to make that a reality.”

You softly hum as he pulls away and stands, holding his hand out for you to take. You take it, because even though you can do these things yourself it’s still the touch of his hand against yours.

He leads you to the bedroom, where he kisses your hand and tells you he’ll be just a moment before leaving.

You spare a glance out the window and notice it’s late. You spent more time making dinner because you weren’t used to cooking as much as you did at once and you had burnt the first attempt. Erwin wouldn’t have minded, but you wanted to make him a nice dinner.

You undress, finding a nightdress that fits a bit too snugly and moving to put it on before you catch a glance of yourself in the mirror. You notice the faintest lines on your breasts and lightly trace over them with your fingers. They weren’t there before, and you’re not sure how to get rid of them.

You hear Erwin’s footsteps coming back to the room, and you quickly slip the nightgown over your body. It’s almost too small, and you know you’ll have to either make or buy new clothes soon.

You look at yourself in the mirror again. God, you hate the way you look. Exhausted and overworked, which makes no sense because you’ve been sleeping for the right amount of time and haven’t been piling too much work on yourself. You just look so worn out.

When Erwin opens the door and sees you looking at yourself in the mirror, he thinks you’re admiring the bump. He comes up behind you, trailing his hand across your shoulder and kissing your temple.

“I promise I’ll be more present,” he says against your hair. He places both hands on your arms, kissing you again before making eye contact with you in the mirror. “I promise, love.”

You softly hum, forcing a smile as you meet Erwin’s gaze in the mirror. “It’s alright. I know you have other responsibilities.”

“Nothing is more important than you,” he intejects. He turns you around so you’re face to face, making it so you can’t escape his gaze. “You should be the first thing on my priority list, Y/n. Don’t let me forget that.”

You softly nod, keeping your expressionless face as you stare at yourself in the mirror. He looks at you with sad eyes before leaning in, kissing your forehead.

“I love you, Y/n. I promise I’ll be better.”

“Just be here when they’re born. Or soon after. I just want you with me when they’re here.”

Erwin nods, a sort of determination evident in his eyes. “I will. I will, I promise.”

And what right did you have to think he was lying?

—

Erwin was called back to his post three days later.

He had left you alone again, but this time it became a routine of two weeks where he wasn’t home and two weeks when he was. You had formed your schedule around that, running most of your errands and chores while he was gone and clearing your agenda so you could spend time with him while he was off.

You often went to the market to buy groceries together, and Erwin would cook dinner for you in the evenings while you watched him from the dinner table.

You were pissed at him, but that had slowly gone away. You never stopped loving him, but something about having him back more regularly made your stomach flip.

Until he went off on an expedition and scared the shit out of you when he returned home two days later.

It only got worse after that. His stay with the scouts would extend further and further, making your time with him shorter.

And you truly didn’t understand why he couldn’t just come home when he was given breaks, especially because somehow Anastasia can find the time to visit you.

And that’s where you’re at now, sitting on the couch with Anastasia as you vent all of this to her. She’s silent as you talk, leaning back against the arm of the couch and nodding along with everything you say. She puts her input every now and then, making the kind of comments only she could get away with because they were funny.

And eventually, once you’ve gotten everything off your chest, you get up to make Anastasia tea because you hadn’t offered her any when she came in. It was the polite thing to do, especially since she was one of your closest friends.

However, when you stand, pain shoots through your body. You recognize it as a contraction, which is how you know you’re going to have this baby soon.

You try to continue with the task, but you have more and more contractions closer and closer together, and eventually Anastasia pieces two and two together before you do and rushes you out your front door.

She bribed someone with a wagon to give the both of you a lift, and before you know it you’re at a doctor’s clinic being told to calm your breathing.

“Y/n, why did you decide to have a baby at 16? This is actually a terrible idea.”

Maybe it was.

Maybe this entire thing was a mistake. Maybe you should have waited and thought this through before diving in headfirst. Maybe your parents were right and you should have given this entire thing more thought.

But those doubts are silenced. Because sixteen hours later on August 13, you hold your precious baby boy for the first time and realize this is it. Now that he’s here, Erwin has to be home more often.

You name the infant in your arms Benjamin—a strong name for the son of a strong man. A strong base for what you hope will turn into a strong relationship.

You could feel your eyes drooping, fighting off sleep as hard as possible. You had Anastasia write to Erwin and tell him his son had been born, telling her to keep it short and sounding urgent.

And she agreed, leaving your side to grab a sheet of paper to write on. In the short amount of time she was gone, you dozed off, hoping and praying and wishing this would be enough to get your husband back home.

But not all dreams come true, because Erwin Smith saw his son for the first time three months and fourteen days after he was born.

with ten minutes left of his birthday, happy birthday Erwin Smith

this is going to be a super long multipart series guys i’m sorry 💀 (not a lot of parts tho). also the title of this is literally complete bs i just had to title it so i just used the EP “Good Grief” by Leanna Firestone because I used the songs in that to describe a lot of feeling

but anyways! please for the love of god supoort this because i wrote this entire series in like two months and am going back and editing right now and i poured my entire heart and soul into it please like it

also know that it only goes downhill from here

but i hope y’all enjoyed it anyways

-Izzy <3

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TAGGING: @daisynik7 if you’d like to join the taglist for this series or be notified whenever I write for Erwin please leave a comment or DM!

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