fruitr0llup - Tumblr blog

fruitr0llup · 23 days

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puff, puff, pass

son chaeyoung x fem!reader ; smut

synopsis: a party that was meant to be spent with your friends was very enjoyable, but not in the way you were expecting.

warnings: smut ; smoking ; alcohol ; cursing; thigh riding ; fingering ; oral (reader receiving) ; slight temperature play ; dom!chaeyoung ; sub!reader ; praise ; spelling mistakes ; not proofread

w/c: 2.5k

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it was loud, hot, and crowded, but you didn’t care.

your hands were in the air, a drink in one, as you swayed your body to the music. the smell of weed was lingering through the house, and it made the party that much more enjoyable.

you continued to dance, having the time of your life, until you looked up and saw a girl that, in your tipsy mind, looked like she was sent from heaven itself. you studied her features from afar, from her blonde hair tied up in a bun to her mole just right of her lips. when you looked back up to her eyes,

you were startled to see she was staring back at you. then she starts to walk towards you, slipping past the dancing people. you give your drink to your friend, dismissing the questions. in a second she’s infront of you, slightly looking down at you.

“hey-“ you start, but are silenced when she puts her hands on your waist.

she leans down to your ear, whispering “just dance with me, pretty.” your face goes red, and suddenly you’re thankful for the bright and colorful lights. you nod, continuing to dance to the music.

the two of you sway to the music making small talk, then she turns you around. her hands find your waist again, following your hips as you dance on her. it’s sensual, and you feel your body heating up. she leans down again, whispering, “wanna find a room?” you turn around eagerly, nodding.

she grabs your hand and leads you upstairs. as she drags you along, you ask her curiously, “what’s your name by the way?”

she looks back at you, saying “chaeyoung. you?”

“y/n” you reply.

she hums in acknowledgment, entering an empty room. you eagerly watch as she goes to sit on the bed, but become confused when she pulls out a stick from her pocket?

she brings it up to her mouth, and uses a lighter to light it. oh, weed. you watch intently as she inhales, savoring it, then blows it towards you.

“want a hit?” she asks, holding it out towards you.

you nervously look at it, but decide that there’s a first time for everything; you just hoped she couldn’t tell you’d never done it before.

you take it from her, then reach it up to your mouth. you inhale sharply, but immediately burst in a coughing fit. “f-fuck!” you say, covering your mouth with your sleeve. the girl beside you laughs.

she takes the joint back from you, and says with a smile, “i’ll teach you, here.” she brings the joint up to your mouth. “slowly..” you slowly inhale, feeling more comfortable with chaeyoung instructing you. “okay now exhale.” you do, watching the smoke flow infront of you. she hands it to you and you try again, successfully doing it without coughing.

you turn to her smiling, but your breath hitches when you realize how close you two are. if you moved forward even an inch your lips would touch, and you didn’t mind the idea of that.

your eyes travel down to her lips, admiring the natural pink color. but when they travel back up to her eyes, the look in them changed. they’re dark and full of lust.

before you even get another thought in, her lips are on yours. you feel a hand grab your chin harshly, but it doesn’t hurt. you’re too enticed with the feeling of your lips against one another’s. the way they move in sync. the way chaeyoung bites your bottom lip, influencing a quiet moan from your mouth.

she breaks away, setting the joint on the bedside table. she then pulls you into her lap, making you straddle her as she sits on the edge of the bed.

soft hands find your waist instantly, and she brings your lips together again. it’s sloppy, but you like it.

she breaks again, but this time she starts leaving open mouthed kisses down your jaw, then your neck. “fuck… i’m gonna mark you and let everyone know you’re mine, you hear me?” she mutters, kissing down your neck.

you whimper, head tilting back to give her more room. you clutch at her shoulder, and a sharp moan escapes your lips when she finds your pulse point. smiling, she continues to suck on it, relishing the noises escaping your throat.

she stops, then leans back to admire her work. she smiles, then bites her lip thoughtfully. “i know what it needs.” she says.

you’re panting, confused as to why she stopped. she reaches over and grabs the joint off the bedside table, then looks up at you. “can i mark you with this?”

oh.

you feel the slick in your panties multiply. you nod eagerly, then wait in anticipation as she brings the lit joint up to your pulse point.

she presses it against your skin, and your breath hitches. it should hurt. you know it should. but why does it feel… good?

she pulls it away, then looks at it again. she kisses it lightly, then focuses back on your face. “raise your arms, pretty.” you comply, and she raises your shirt over your head, revealing your black laced bra. her tongue pokes the inside of her cheek as she admires the view infront of her. she reaches behind your back, hands on the clasp of the bra before looking up at you. you nod, and she unclasps it, letting it fall. “fuck, baby… you’re beautiful.”

you blush, getting somewhat shy being exposed infront of her. when you look back at her, she seems lost in thought. “whatre you thinking about?” you ask.

“how good you’d look with marks all over your body.” she replies, taking you by surprise.

you shift in her lap, trying to relieve the growing ache in between your legs.

“aww baby… you could’ve told me you were having trouble..” she says coyly. you whine, looking her in the eyes. she stares up at you, a dark look washing over her eyes. “fuck, i’m going to ruin you.”

you whimper, staring pleadingly into her eyes. “please chae… i need it-“

“need what?” she says, cutting you off.

“you know what…” you say, looking away shyly.

“i do, but i want to hear it coming from your pretty lips.” heat spreads throughout your body, and you answer.

“fuck.. chaeng please. i want— no i need you… your fingers, your tongue, anything-“ you beg, staring at her with pleading eyes.

she smirks. “get up and strip.” she says in a demanding voice. you instantly do as she says, not wanting to delay your release any longer.

you’re naked infront of her, about to get on the bed when she stops you. “did you really think it’d be that easy?” she says, smirking, “be a good girl and come ride my thigh.”

you can feel arousal dripping down your legs as you go over to her, placing yourself on her thigh. you immediately tense at the contact. a soft whimper escapes your lips, the denim fabric of her jeans hitting your clit perfectly.

“you know what to do, pretty girl.” chaeyoung says, admiring the view infront of her. you slowly start to grind yourself on her thigh, pacing yourself, and she watches as you releive yourself on her thigh.

she brings the joint up to her mouth again, and takes another hit. she blows it in your face before bringing the joint to your boobs. “they’re beautiful now, but i wonder how they’d look with marks all over them…” she says.

you whimper, the words adding to your growing pleasure. you tense as the hot tip meets the point just above your erect nipple. “f-fuck!” you moan, head falling on chaeyoungs shoulder.

“that’s it, pretty girl… just like that.” she says. she places the joint down and brings her hands to your hips. she simultaneously flexes her thigh and guides your hips down harder, and that combined with the rough texture of the fabric is enough to make you moan into her ear. “fuck- chaeyoung!”

your thighs shake. the pleasure is so unbelievably good, and when chaeyoung begins to kiss your neck again, you let go.

your cum soaks into her jeans, and you slowly come to a stop with your head resting on your shoulder.

“you did so good for me baby…” chaeyoung says, kissing the top of your head, “but can you handle more?”

you raise your head, looking into her eyes. you nod before licking your lips and kissing her hungrily.

your tongues mold together, and her hands come up to knead your boobs. she twists and pinches your sensitive nipples, but you get impatient.

you tug on the hem of her shirt before breaking away, panting out a heavy “please… i want to see you.” she smiles with a gleam in her eye.

“only because you asked so nicely..” she says, taking off her shirt. she then makes quick work of her pants.

when you see her soiled panties, you take pride in knowing that she’s enjoying this just as much as you are. you press yourself up against the headboard, watching as she removes the last pieces of clothing. as your eyes travel down her body, your feel your arousal leak down your pussy. she quickly starts to move towards you, and you meet her halfway, eager to feel her.

the kiss is searing, bringing heat to both of your bodies. her hands explore your body, silently worshipping every curve.

she breaks apart, using a finger to tilt your chin up. “lay down for me, beautiful. i’m going to make sure everyone knows you’re mine”

another pulse of heat makes your need multiply. you quickly do as she says, laying down against the pillow. she pushes you down with a gentle hand on your chest as she straddles your abdomen.

she begins to suck hickeys all over your boobs, her fingers trailing down the sides of your stomach. each suck on your body emits a moan from your mouth.

she pulls back, admiring her work. she then brings the joint to each one, sealing the hickey with another mark. you bite your lip, trying to keep quiet.

she stops, then reaches up to grab your face. she kisses you sweetly, then whispers in your ear. “i want to hear you. i want to hear every beautiful sound that comes from your body, do you understand?”

you buck your hips up as much as you can with her still sitting on you, nodding quickly. “yes- yes, i do!- just.. please!”

she laughs, then moves down. she trails her fingers down, leaving open mouthed kisses all over.

she slowly spreads your legs, moving in between them. she stares at your sopping cunt with a gleam in her eyes.

she leans down, but just as you thought she was about to relieve your ache, she moves just to the side to your inner thigh. sucking a hickey.

your hips buck up needily. “fuck! chaeyoung, please!- i need you!” you breath out shakily.

she smiles, then wraps her arms around your thighs, locking you in place. her face gets closer to your cunt, and when you feel the heat of her breath, you involuntary clench.

“so needy… just stay still, pretty girl. i’ll take care of you.” she says, pressing a soft kiss to the inside of your thigh.

when her mouth finally makes contact with your pulsing pussy, your back arches. your hands immediately go to her head, wanting nothing more than for chaeyoung to keep her mouth on you.

“f-fuck! chaeyoung-“ you moan out in a high pitched voice. even though she had just started, her skillful tongue was already bringing you to the edge. but chaeyoung knew.

she grabbed your hands from her hair, and swiftly moved to pin them above your head. “not yet, pretty girl,” she whispers in your ear, “tell me what you want.”

you whine, your head thrashing side to side. you were less shy about voicing your opinions when she asked this time, so you confidently said, “you, chaeyoung. i want you. your fingers, your tongue- anything!” you said, bucking your hips up, “fuck, please i just need to cum-“

you’re cut off with a kiss, “anything for you, beautiful.” she whispers.

you mind is hazed as you watch her hand travel down to your heat. when you feel a finger dip inside quickly, then retract as if it weren’t there, you whine.

“so wet baby… is this all for me?” she asked in a deep voice.

you look up at her, biting your lip. “it’s all yours!- all for you, chae…”

she chuckles. “that’s my pretty girl.”

another wave of heat runs through your body, and a soft mewl comes from your mouth. chaeyoung releases your hands, then moves downward again, getting level with your pussy.

“fuck… i can make you higher than weed ever could, beautiful.”

you moan at her words, and your breath hitches when you feel two of her fingers slip inside of you. the stretch is a welcome burn, and it fuels your already pending orgasm.

chaeyoung leans down and places a soft kiss to your sensitive clit. your hips jerk up, and as chaeyoung continues to thrust her fingers inside of you faster, you moan her name over and over again.

she kisses the inside of your thigh again, saying, “you’re taking me so well.. such a good girl.”

normally you’d be embarrassed if someone said something like that to you, but you can focus on nothing except the sounds coming from your wet cunt as chaeyoung harasses it endlessly.

“f-fuck, chaeyoung, i’m c-close!- ah!-” her hand slips under the small of your back, forcing you to arch it.

“just like that, baby.” she whispers, almost inaudible over the sound of your moans. all you need is one little push to bring you over the edge, and when chaeyoung latches her lips onto your clit, it’s done.

you moan her name over and over again with fistfuls of sheets and an arched back. she helps you ride out your orgasm until she finally comes to a stop.

she slowly pulls her fingers out, and you let out another moan. you watch as she brings her fingers to her mouth and sucks them throughly, all while keeping eye contact.

you close your eyes, tired and fucked out. you feel arms wrap around you, and you’re pulled into chaeyoungs warm embrace.

the two of you lay like that for a while, which chaeyoung stroking your hair softly, leaving kisses on your head every once in a while.

the silence is broken when chaeyoung speaks up. “i know you’re tired… but do you want to go back to my place? there’s something… fun i think you might enjoy.” she whispers agains your head.

you look up at her. “like what..?” you ask, hoping it’s what you’re thinking.

she smiles, “well, it’s 9 inches and purple, so-“

you’re up instantly. the thought of chaeyoung wearing a strap brought all your energy back, and soon the two of you are out the door, forgetting the joint on the floor.

you have trouble walking, but you lean on chaeyoung for support as you leave the party that proved to be very enjoyable.

a/n: MY FIRST SMUT. cliche storyline blah blah blah I DONT CAREEREE. this was so rushed i wrote this so quick i just needed to get my mind off of the MAN. @nr1chaedickrider enjoy 🤗

#chaeyoung x reader #son chaeyoung #chaeyoung smut #twice #kpop girl group smut #wlw #twice smut #fruitr0llup

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fruitr0llup · 27 days

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I KNEW IT.

also omfg i needed this fr. jihyo is such a sweetie 💔

wishing on you

park jihyo x fem!reader ; angst, fluff

synopsis: no matter what path is avoided, which turn is taken, it always leads the two you back to each other.

wc: 13.2k

warnings: alcohol ; cursing ; reader is part of twice ; men… ; kang daniel mentioned ; april's naeun mentioned ; jealousy!! ; pining!!! ; woooowww slowburn(?) ; lots of slowburn ; they're oblivious ; only half of it is proofread ; wtv else i didn’t mention

a/n: hey... sorry for the fake news, this is to make up for it. april fools!

—

you’re two raspberry beers in, there’s no way you’re backing down now, especially not with your stubborn attitude. jeongyeon pours you a shot of some strawberry soju and you gladly accept with a bright smile and loud chuckle.

how could you not drink more, to be fair, you had just won another award for fancy, you deserved this.

half the members are laughing as you drink more, you were always one to be a heavy weight anyway, always able to take twice as much as the members could. it was entertaining to see you down another two shots of that same soju, and even after all that, you still had room to have a bit of the makgeolli that nayeon had brought.

it’s clear that the rice wine from the eldest is what fucked you over; the flush of crimson on your cheeks made it evident that you couldn’t think clearly anymore, so was the swarm of giggles that filled the air. the members—either drunk or on the verge of that—watched you, they cheered and laughed themselves, especially jeongyeon.

jihyo simply rolled her eyes, taking another sip of the beer that she didn’t necessarily fancy. she watched half the members laugh along with you and placed her chin on her palm, her lips turning up into a soft smile.

momo and nayeon argue about something dumb, then jeongyeon butts in and chaeyoung starts laughing until tears start to spill. out of nowhere, jihyo feels a weight on her shoulder, then turns to see you smiling and all flushed.

your eyes seem like they’re sparkling, and maybe that’s the light reflecting off your eyes, or maybe it’s because the leader of your group is all you can see in your hazy state. maybe all of the above.

“jihyo… you’re so pretty” it’s slurred coming from you, but the truth nonetheless. jihyo laughs at your statement and leans back against the wall behind you two.

“and you— are drunk” she responds, “i’ve seen you drink a lot but this is… well, a lot”

“i like… yes, strawberry.” you mutter against her, closing your eyes. “and you park jihyo!” you add with a giggle.

“yeah… whatever you say.” jihyo responds hesitantly. the leader of your group giggles again, it’s the kind of giggle that brushes off a joke, but this isn’t a joke at all. you pout, then shake your head while closing your eyes unnecessarily tight.

“you think i’m joking?” you ask, the tone of your voice sounding like you’re a kid that’s been declined candy. jihyo smiles weakly at your response.

“you’re just drunk silly, let’s get you someplace else before you start saying things you don’t want to.”

“hey… why don’t you believe me…” you sigh, lifting your head away from her shoulder and facing her fully. you place your hands on jihyos shoulders and firmly hold them, then affirm, “i like you, lots.”

drunk words are sober thoughts. every word that spills from your lips is laced with the raw honesty of pent-up emotions that have been brewing inside you for years. from the moment you first laid eyes on her, you were captivated by her beauty. minute after minute, day after day, year after year, your admiration for her only deepened. you've become adept at concealing these feelings, but now, in your drunken state, all pretenses have fallen away, leaving you completely transparent and vulnerable.

despite your best efforts to bury your emotions, they've finally bubbled to the surface, laid bare for all to see. but still, jihyo’s trying to figure out whether this is real or if the alcohol is making you say all this.

jihyo chuckles nervously when your voice raises, afraid that you’ll draw attention from the rest—who, are all too invested in their bickering to even notice.

“you’be been drinking quite a bit y/n, let’s get you someplace else.” jihyo says, smiling.

she places a hand on your cheek, feeling the warmth of it leak into her own hand. jihyo takes her hand off and stands up, making you frown in the in process.

“alright, i’m going to get going. i don’t want to drink too much, i’m already tipsy myself.” jihyo announces to the table, then looks down at you. “y/n here needs to go back to the dorms, i’m gonna take her back and take care of her before she goes ballistic.” she adds, giggling lightheartedly.

the rest of the girls laugh, then nod before teasing you a bit. your arms find their way around jihyos torso, hugging onto her loosely as you try to comprehend the overwhelming environment. the world spins a little and you’re afraid to get up, scared that if you let go of jihyo, you’ll lose balance and fall.

“please stay, don’t leave…” you say, clinging tighter.

the leader of your group feels her cheeks warm up as you cling on, you’re not one to get too clingy, and even if you do, it’s rare— and reserved for your leader.

as you follow her out the room, she holds the handbag that you entered the little gathering with, making sure it’s safe with her.

jihyo’s hand is also holding yours, sending an electric, warm feeling throughout your body with each step you take out the building and towards the uber she had called.

you get inside first, then jihyo follows and sits right down next to you. as soon as the door shuts, you’re quick to lean right into her again. it seems that being so close to her eases your overwhelmed, alcohol-infested senses.

throughout the whole car ride to the dorms, you’re clinging to her and surprisingly silent, but your gaze is on her the entire time. jihyo shrinks in her place under your hazy look.

jihyo helps you out the car and into your shared dorm; you cling onto her arm the whole time. she fumbles for her keys and manages to unlock the door, surprisingly.

she helps you over to your room, walking past mina and nayeon’sj, then places you down on your bed, watching you lie down lazily before sighing.

“what did i say about getting carried away.” she mutters, then walks over to your closet to grab a large hoodie of yours. she helps you put it on, given you’re probably not in the right mind to really do much on your own.

when she slips it over you, the hood falls over your head, covering your eyes. jihyo chuckles softly before fixing it up so that your vision isn’t covered by the material, revealing your tired eyes. your gaze is fixed on her lips, almost glued to them, and your hands reach for her forearm.

“you’re so pretty.” you mumble, making full eye contact with her now. “so pretty since i've laid eyes on you.”

before jihyo can even process your words, she’s taken aback by your sudden movement, feeling the soft touch of your lips against the corner of her own. it's a gentle, innocent kiss, clearly not meant to be anything more—right? she feels you fall limp against her, your face falling to where the base of her neck meets her collarbone. as you rest against her, she can feel the weight of your body against hers, your arms loosely wrapping around her form. in your drowsy state, you pull her closer to you, causing her heart to quicken its pace.

there's this weird feeling in jihyo’s heart that is amplified when you lazily mutter against her neck, still, she decides to ignore it. she doesn't feel like adding another weight to her shoulders, especially not when it involves you.

your head hurts like crazy as soon as you wake up, and you want nothing more than to fall right back asleep. you're wearing an old hoodie and the blanket you have on is wrapped messily on your body, limbs peaking out from the cloth.

opening your eyes a little wider and scanning the environment, you take in your surroundings. you’re in the comfort of your own room, thankfully you made it out alive.

trying to slow your actions to adjust to the hangover, you sit up slowly, but it makes your head ring even more. you groan as you lean against the headboard, trying to recollect yourself.

in the corner of your eye, you notice a bottle of water and a packet of hangover pills. you reach for the water bottle, taking a small sip to quench your parched throat. the cool liquid soothes your dry mouth, prompting you to take a few more gulps in hopes of easing the pounding in your head. then you grab the packet of pills, but your hands fumble with the packaging, hindered by fatigue and grogginess. you let out a small, frustrated groan of annoyance before deciding to give up on the pills. with a sigh, you sink back into bed, curling up beneath the covers and closing your eyes once more, hoping to find some relief from whatever you had consumed carelessly the night before.

the knock at your door disrupts your attempt at going back to sleep, making you grumble. you hear the sound of it opening and hide yourself in your sheets more, trying to make yourself invisible from whoever it is that’s in your room now.

“hey, wake up.” jihyo says—you don’t respond or budge, instead grumbling again in response.

jihyo frowns before sitting down next to you, placing her hand on your shoulder that’s covered by the blanket. she looks at the packet of pills she had put on your bedside the night before, shaking her head at how crinkled they looked from your failed attempts at opening them.

“i bet you feel terrible, sit up and take the pills.” she reaches over to open the pills on the bedside table.

you roll over and jihyo sees your puffy face, squinted eyes, and messy hair from rolling around while your hoodie was over your head. she laughs at the sight, then helps you sit up against the headboard.

“how bad was it?” you ask, earning a tilted head from your leader.

“what?”

“did i do anything dumb?”

jihyo ponders, deciding to not mention the memory of you almost kissing her completely on the lips.

“no, you were just all tired and mopey.” jihyo teases, giggling. “you drank a lot.”

“did you take me home? i can’t remember much but i remember your face from last night.”

“yeah, i did.”

“sorry for the trouble.”

jihyo shakes her head at your apology, then hands you two pills and a water bottle. “just drink, breakfast is ready.”

something is off, something is very off.

jihyo's been growing distant. initially subtle, it’s clear now that she's been withdrawing from you, and it's breaking your heart. you find yourself questioning whether it was something you said or did. up until now, everything seemed fine between you two, leaving you at a loss to pinpoint any specific reason for her sudden change in behavior.

sharing a dorm with her only makes this worse. each interaction feels strained, despite her occasional smiles and giggles. it's clear that she's making an effort to keep things short and simple, adding to the discomfort and tension between you two.

it's aggravating, the interviews and forced smiles, the way jihyo flees from your eye contact; everything kills you. the members don’t really notice, you’re still acting like evrything is alright – since it is with everyone but jihyo – and so is your leader.

but sometihng is up, so you take matters into your own hands.

“mina.”

“yes?”

mina's laid down on her bed, the blanket enveloping her as she plays on her switch. she looks at you with a raised brow, curious as to why you’re in her room at this time.

“did you need something?” she asks.

“can i stay here for a bit?”

mina hums, scooting over to give you space on the bed. she watches you sit down and put your face in your hands, groaning before you lay down flat on the bed. you take one of her pillows and hug it tightly before mina sits up to look at you.

“alright, what’s going on?” she questions, “this isn’t like you. are you okay?”

“i think jihyo hates me.” you sigh, hugging the pillow tighter.

“what? why would jihyo hate you? you guys seem to be fine to me.”

you sit up again, looking at her with a pout.

“remember last month? that night after the awards we won? the night i got drunk?” you ask, mina nods and waits for you to continue. “well, i think something happened that night. jihyo's been distant ever since and— ugh, i just don’t know. i had to have done something.”

“all i remember is you two going back early, nothing really happened but you were really clingy.”

“like, how clingy?”

mina turns away and ponders, making a little “hmm” noise.

“i was completely sober, i remember seeing you cling onto her from the waist. your arms were wrapped around her waist, that’s all i remember. you were just really close to her, almost as clingy as sana is normally—without any alcohol in her system.” mina explains, shrugging.

“is that why she’s been distant? because i've been clingy? that doesn't make any sense.”

“you should talk to her.” mina suggests, “it’s the only way, and jihyo is understanding, it can’t be that bad.”

you fall back onto the bed and groan, covering your face with your hands. mina places a hand on your shoulder and shoots you an apologetic smile.

“what if she hates me and i only make it worse?” you mutter into your hands.

“only one way to find out y/n.”

after sulking in mina’s bed while she played her little game for an hour, you decided to get up and do something about the problem. mina gave you a little thumbs up before you left her room, wishing you the best and muttering a “close the door on the way out.”

you've never been so scared in your life, even the sixteen elimnations didn’t make you this nervous.

thinking to yourself for a moment you try to think of anything that could’ve happened that night. the lack of memory only adds to your anxiety, leaving you to question if you were too clingy or overly affectionate. did you say something that crossed the line? the uncertainty gnaws at you, and the only way to ease your worries is to talk to the worry.

jihyo hears a knock at her door, brows creasing when she looks over at it.

“come in.” she says, then she sees the woman who opens it, stiffening upon your arrival.

“hey ji.”

“y/n, hi.” she says, smiling at you. “did you need something?”

“can we talk?” you close the door, “we should talk.”

jihyo looks at your pleading eyes, then gives in.

“yeah, okay.”

you sit down on the chair in front of her bed, right in front of where she’s sitting. your posture is straight, jaw clenched, and fingers fidgety. shaking off your nerves, you begin to speak.

“have you been avoiding me on purpose? i feel like you’ve been distant, things are different than before.”

she looks down at her hands, then back at you.

“it’s not that i want to, y/n. i really, truly love and adore you as a member. as a friend.” the way she says friend makes your heart sting a little, but it’s fine, as long as you don’t lose her. “do you remember anything from that night after the awards for fancy?”

you pause.

“um, only karaoke with the rest. anything after that i... i can’t remember. i’ve been trying to because you’ve been distant since that night, did i do something?”

“y/n, i've been talking to someone.” jihyo starts, “i haven’t told the rest, but i plan to tell them when—or if things get serious with him.”

him.

“oh.” you simply respond. “is that why you’ve been distant?”

“that night, y/n. i don’t mind, you know, when you’re clingy and affectionate. it's flattering and makes me laugh but, i've also been wanting to talk to you about something else.” you nod at her, continuing to listen closely. “you kept saying these things like i'm pretty and... you even said you—you liked me?”

shit. you think, that’s all you can think of as soon as you hear it. of course, your crush on jihyo was there, but you pushed it down because hell, you were in the same group, you couldn’t let your stupid feelings get in the way.

“is it true?” jihyo asks you, breaking you from your short trance. “y/n, do you like me?”

“i mean, i used to, a lot. i mean i--”

“y/n, do you or do you not like me. i'm talking about right now, and that night, because i don’t know about you, but even if you were drunk, you tried to kiss me—you did kiss me, on the corner of my lips. even sana hasn’t been like that with any of the members.”

shit

“oh, oh my god. i’m so sorry, i— i wasn’t in the right mind, i don’t even remember--”

“it’s fine, but i'm just telling you this because you know, if you do like me and all that, it’s fine. we just—we can’t. look, you’ve been there for me all these years, we’ve been there for each other and i love you and appreciate you dearly, i do.” jihyo says, looking at you all stiff in your seat.

you feel like crying, it makes no sense to but gosh is this whole thing grueling. yet, despite the turmoil, you're determined to find resolution and mend whatever rift has formed between you and jihyo. your hands shake from nervousness, jihyo notices and reaches out, placing her hands gently over yours. she knows how to calm you down, she’s a natural leader after all.

“being with you, especially now—it’ll make things really complicated and difficult, and if things go wrong then our relationship with each other could affect twice you know? y/n, i care about you lots, and we need to keep this professional.”

“yeah, i get that.” you say, relaxing just barely as her thumb grazes your knuckle. “i’m sorry for kissing you and making you uncomfortable, gosh, i'm an idiot. i'm really sorry.”

“it’s fine y/n, i'm sorry for not addressing this. i should’ve said something sooner instead of not confronting you. let's always be true with each other from now on, yeah?”

“yeah. thanks. i really want what we had—well, what we have to just be normal. i really love you and want the best for you.”

“likewise.” jihyo agrees, smiling. she holds your hand, squeezing it lightly before getting up. “wanna go grab something to snack on? i'm hungry.”

you laugh at her, easing the tension. “it’s like, eleven.”

“you act like you didn’t sneak out at two in the morning when we were trainees, c’mon, you don’t want a little treat? the convenience store is right down the street~”

you roll your eyes at her and stand up. “alright, let me get my coat. you're paying though.”

after clearing up things with jihyo, things seem to go back to normal.

you two joke and laugh and have deep conversations as before, your feelings seem to die down too. along with this, she reveals more about the guy she’s talking to: kang daniel.

he's also an idol, pretty well-known – though not nearly as much as jihyo – and it seems that he’s one to attract. but sitll, he appears to be just a regular guy, he’s really just a guy—there's not much to him. yet, learning more about him still stings a little, you know you could offer jihyo so much more. but your priority is her happiness, and as long as she's content, you're willing to set aside your own feelings. the agreement to maintain a professional and uncomplicated relationship remains intact, even though it tugs at your heartstrings to see her with someone else.

you feel like you’re benched, relegated to the sidelines while watching your leader and daniel take center stage. there's an undeniable urge to be in the game, to replace him on the field. you can't shake the feeling that with you in the lineup, more points would be scored, the team would triumph, and everything would align perfectly. yet, for now, you're resigned to watch from the sidelines, silently yearning for your chance.

this whole relationship screws you over, but you have other things to worry about while being an idol and friend to your other members. you can’t let him win, so you’ll pretend to be fine, even if it tears you apart in the slightest.

you wonder if time with jihyo is worth it these days, what do you even gain out of it?

jihyo realizes she’s made a big mistake.

her relationship with kang daniel is public now, but as soon as it’s revealed, there’s an uneasiness in her heart.

this is all real, the public knows it, her members know it, and especially you.

she spends more time with you and daniel simultaneously, but there’s this weird feeling when she’s with him. while in daniel's company, there's a strange tension that she can't quite shake off, but when she's with you? it's a different story altogether.

she finds herself laughing more freely, smiling more genuinely, and experiencing an unprecedented sense of relaxation. just being around you feels effortless and natural, it reminds her how grateful she is with you.

everytime she’s with daniel, part of her – all of her – is itching to get away and find herself back to you. she sees you in places and people she’s not with, it’s weird, it’s eating her up inside.

as daniel sits next to her on his couch, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close, she can't help but feel a sense of disconnection. despite his attempts at intimacy, her thoughts are consumed by you. it's a strange sensation, one she can't quite shake off. the scent of daniel's cologne pales in comparison to the aroma of lavender and vanilla from the fragrance you use.

and there he goes again, he starts to talk and it’s always about him, he never asks her about herself much. if jihyo’s ever talking about herself, it’s always her who initiates it. you were always one to ask about her day, how she’s doing, and you were simply attentive. daniel's rambles, words, and overall attempts at conversation these days—though well-intentioned, they fail to captivate her attention like yours do. she finds herself yearning for the moments when she can listen to your voice ramble on about anything and everything, or when she can ramble to you.

it feels like shes censoring or restraining a part of herself to daniel, but with you? it's the complete opposite.

it's strange, the uncertain feeling isn’t something she experiences when she's with friends or group members. only in daniel's presence does she find herself immersed in thoughts of you.

the preparation for more and more was rough on everyone, the choreo especially was difficult.

the choreo was exhausting, tearing the members apart at times. still, as the group you are, you all managed to persevere.

during one of the final dance practices, you catch from the corner of your eye jihyo leaning against the mirror, lips parted, hair sticking to her forehead, and staring into space daydreaming. she puts her head down for a moment before recollecting herself and standing back up, acting as if nothing had happened.

she stands in front of the mirror and sips on her water, staring at herself for a bit. it seems like she has a lot on her mind.

you walk over and put a hand on her shoulder, making her jump slightly before turning to you.

“oh, y/n. you scared me!” she says, laughing lightly. “did you need something?”

“you okay ji?” you ask her, “you looked really dead earlier.”

your leader doesn’t answer, too distracted by how you look at her. as she observes you, she notices the intensity in your eyes, the sweat glistening on your face, and in that moment, she's struck by your beauty. despite being sweaty and exhausted from the physically demanding choreography, your concerned expression and the tone of your voice have her speechless.

“hey,” you interupt her trance with your voice. using the small towel in your hand, you tap away at some of the sweat on her forehead. “you need to rest a bit more, take a longer break.”

“oh, yeah, sure.” her response is rushed, it slips from her lips without her thinking.

you pull out a water bottle and hand it to her, urging her to take a sip. “i think we’ve got it down pretty well, but it’s your call next time we run it again. take a break for now, i noticed you were fatigued during the dance break.”

jihyo looks at you a bit more, head tilted up just a bit to meet you. she scans your face again, brows creasing just barely as she takes in your visuals. you raise a brow at her sudden look, tilting your head a bit.

“yeah, you should definitely take a break.” you giggle, “you look so out of it.”

jihyo finds her cheeks warming up, it’s not from being exhausted and sweaty, something else brings a rush of warmth.

“sorry, just tired.”

“yeah, okay.” you laugh, rubbing away the sweat on the side of her face now with the towel in your hand. “you look funny like that.”

your leader watches you trudge away after the small interaction, perplexed at the sudden appeal in you. she's thinking about daniel, has he ever been that attentive? now that jihyo thinks about it, he’s never really done much about her stress or worries. he'd usually kiss her once and talk about himself in an attempt to distract her from her feelings. when you really take time to pay attention to her, it makes her feel all bubbly inside—daniel never evoked much of that.

jihyo wonders what it would be like if you were in daniel’s place.

“being with you, especially now—it’ll make things really complicated and difficult.”

her own words ring in her head as she watches you sit down next to chaeyoung, leaning on her and pulling out your phone to scroll.

jihyo feels conflicted, but there’s no time for that. especially not now, not when the comeback is soon.

you and your group situate yourselves for the inkigayo interview. minhyuk, jaehyun, and naeun are set to be the mc’s.

everything goes as planned, they introduce themselves before twice does, overall, the interview goes just as it should, but something irks jihyo.

the way you’re all situated makes it so that you stand next to naeun, who keeps glancing at you. jihyo can't shake the feeling of discomfort as she notices naeun’s behavior; the frequent glances, questions, and giggles directed at you make jihyo uneasy. the way you grow nervous and giggly in response to naeun’s attention strikes a nerve with jihyo, but she attempts to push down her weird feelings.

there's a subtle tension building within jihyo, she tries to maintain her composure with nods and forced smiles.

after the interview, all of you step out of the stage. the group gets together with the managers, but you’re pulled aside by naeun.

about three members pay attention to the interaction: sana and nayeon, who are the ones that stand closest to you, and jihyo is eavesdropping, trying to subtly listen in.

naeun tugs on the fabric of your top, earning your attention and a warm smile.

“hi y/n, i’m a big fan of you—and your groups’ music.” she says, grin spread across her face.

“oh, thank you so much.” you respond, bowing down slightly at her.

“i was just wondering, um, i think you’re beautiful.” she says shyly, “and you seem sweet too. would it be alright if we exchanged numbers? i'd love to talk to you more.”

your cheeks flush at the sudden question, you nod eagerly, nonetheless. naeun hands you her phone and you type your number in, making her smile brightly at you. you smile back the same.

“thanks y/n, you’re cute. we should grab a coffee sometime?”

“oh, yeah, i'd love that. sure, yes.” you answer.

naeun smiles at you once more before waving and heading back to jaehyun. when you turn around, sana and nayeon are raising their brows at you teasingly.

sana nudges your shoulder with hers and giggles, making an “ooo” sound. you roll your eyes at her, then nayeon joins in on the teasing.

“oh she was totally hitting on you. look's like y/n has some admirers?” nayeon’s remark earns a wave of dismissal.

“she probably just wanted to be friends and stuff, stop thinking so hard.”

“or maybe you need to think harder. she called you beautiful and wants to take you out, basically.” hearing sana say that earns a dust of pink on your cheeks, you shove her playfully. “y/n is blushing~”

“i’m not! stop that.” you groan, but the smile on your face makes it evident that the idea interests you.

jihyo eyes the three of you bickering, a frown finding its way to her lips. could naeun really be asking you out? and you—are you really going to do it? the thoughts frustrate jihyo, she decides to turn away and focus on anything else, joining in on the maknae’s conversations.

but the thought lingers in her mind: could you really be considering this? and why does it bother jihyo so much?

daniel invites jihyo over again and everything is the same as always. jihyo steps in and he kisses her as a greeting, jihyo kisses him back, placing a hand on his shoulder. she pulls away first, she always does.

he suggests a movie and some snacks, to which jihyo responds with a “sure,” because she doesn’t know what else she could possibly do with him these days. he sits down on his couch, turns on the tv, and pats down a space for jihyo. it's weird, she doesn’t immediately lean into his touch, instead he initiates something and jihyo tends to reciprocate.

daniel talks over the movie playing, something about the solo he’s working on and some recent schedule changes, but the woman in his arms isn’t listening. daniel frowns, bringing a hand to her cheek and turning her face so that she’s facing him.

jihyo almost flinches, pulls away from his touch.

(but she doesn’t, because what would that mean for them?)

“you alright? is something on your mind?” he asks, snapping her back to reality.

jihyo's eyes widen slightly, she eases away from his hand, then shakes her head.

“oh, sorry, just... the recent comeback.”

“ah, i see, i get it.” daniel says, giving her a little look of sympathy – jihyo can’t tell if it’s genuine, though. he smirks, the corner of his lip tugs up a bit, then suggests something as he puts a hand back on her cheek, “i know a way to get your mind off things, to get our minds out the gutter.”

and just like almost every moment with him, jihyo finds his lips on hers. she reciprocates – hesitantly – then gives in. it’s slow and whatnot at first, then daniel starts to get bold and plays with the hem of her shirt. before he can get further, jihyo pulls away, her hand on his chest and eyes partially closed.

“daniel i—um, we should take it slow. can we continue the movie?”

he looks at her confused, then furrows his brows. “oh, okay?”

daniel gets off of her and fights back a frown, but still, he settles by putting an arm back around her and pulling her close. the movie still plays, it’s not the most interesting but it’s better than anything with daniel. thirty minutes fly by and the movie still plays, though jihyo’s mind is elsewhere, probably thinking of you. when she turns to the left, she notices that daniel is asleep, almost too quickly despite what had just happened.

jihyo shrinks away from him, she fights back tears, wanting to leave and return to the dorms—anyplace where you’re nearby.

—

a book is in your hand, you’re reading some novel that your friend had shipped from the states. thankfully, you could read more than just literature in korean, works in english are great.

you're hunched over a bit, reading the book that sits under the glow of the lamp at your desk until you hear a knock. when you open the door, jihyo stands there, looking terrible.

“jihyo? what are you—hey, are you okay?”

she sighs, then looks at you pleadingly. you let her in with no questions asked, sitting down on your bed and patting down a space for her. she sits down next to you, leaning against your shoulder, a tear spills from her right eye. with your thumb, you rub it away, cupping her face gently.

“do you want to talk about it?”

“later.”

“okay. do you want to stay here tonight?”

...

“yes.”

“okay.”

you turn off the lamp on your desk and place a bookmark in between the pages of your book, then close it. jihyo lies down first, and then you slip into the sheets no later.

“come closer, please.” jihyo practically pleads, to which you respond with a hum.

the two of you stare at each other, barely able to see each other in the dark, but still making out features and expressions. there's no words exchanged throughout any of it, jihyo just stares and stares until she puts a hand on your forearm. and then you feel that it’s right to dip a foot in the water, placing your hand above her waist and applying a little pressure to move her closer to you. jihyo scoots over a bit, then moves her hand over your body, pushign herself closer and into the crook of her neck.

she feels herself relax in your presence, not wanting to let go or create more distance between the two of you. the warmth in her chest is completely foreign from whatever she feels around daniel, she wants to stay in this position with you forever, she’d much rather be like this with you than daniel.

and then she hears you mutter a, “goodnight,” the tremor of your voice sending a shiver down her spine and making her feel all tingly. jihyo thinks that she could spend years in your embrace, just this moment alone makes her think that all that time with daniel was a waste if she had the ability to just barge into your room and stay close.

—

when jihyo wakes up, she catches you applying a light layer of makeup. you're focused on the mirror, attentive to the detail.

she watches you for a moment more and decides to sit up when you rummage for some jewelry in your drawer. you catch her in the corner of your eye and turn to her, smiling.

“good morning.”

“are you headed somewhere?” jihyo asks, because it’s only eight thirty in the morning when she checks her phone and you’re already up and running, despite having nothing on your schedules.

“remember naeun? she invited me out for breakfast, then we were going to... i don’t know, just spend until the afternoon together.” jihyo might cry, she feels her heart sink at your words.

you look beautiful, and the thought of naeun seeing you like this, spending time with you, making you laugh? it strikes something in the leader. she watches you put on a necklace, silently processing everything. too many possibilities and worries run through jihyo’s head. you've just held her in your arms, comforted her and slept in the same bed with her, practically tangled together—and now, you’re going on a little date.

“hey, you alright? you look like you’re in a daze.” you say, looking at jihyo curiously.

“sorry, just tired still.”

“then you should sleep more.” you suggest, “sleep in, you can stay in my bed.”

“when are you going out with naeun?”

“soon, like basically now—oh, did you want to talk about what was troubling you? i’ll postpone or cancel if you--”

“no, no.” jihyo says. she shakes her head and purses her lips. “go have fun, i'm just going to sleep a little more.”

you examine her a little, narrowing your eyes at the woman in your bed and trying to pinpoint any hint of, well, anything. you can’t really pick out what’s going on or what might be troubling her, so you decide to let it go for now.

“let me know if you need anything, okay? i’ll respond right away.” your response kills her inside, knowing that you’re out of reach, despite your words, and who else is she supposed to tell about her troubles? how she felt about daniel and you; she can’t even figure out her own feelings.

you sit down on the bed and brush a strand of hair back, fixing her tousled hair. your eyes go from her eyes to her lips, then to her hand that you now hold. you squeeze lightly, then look her in the eye again.

“i’ll be back in the afternoon, okay? let me know if you need anything. just because you’re the leader doesn’t mean you don’t have your own feelings. text me, love you.”

jihyo gulps, and when you let go of her hand, she fights the instinct to reach back for yours.

naeun shows up wearing her hair up in a ponytail. she has on a long black coat over her white top, beige slacks, and whtie sneakers. she's pretty, there’s no doubt.

breakfast with her goes smoothly. you order fluffy pancakes with fruit, a simple latte, and indulge in two pieces of dark chocolate on the side. naeun opts for two pieces of french toast, a side of fruit, and a cup of tea. as you engage in small talk, you find her anecdotes and jokes genuinely amusing, often catching yourself covering your mouth to stifle laughter. her occasional flirtatious remarks elicit smiles from you, though you can't help but notice a slight detachment from the warmth you'd normally feel in such situations—but at the same time, this is your first... date?

the two of you walk down the streets and find yourself in alleyways, simply talking and taking a few pictures here and there. time with her is nice, but it’s weird feeling so... normal with her. your heart doesn’t do flips, you’re not blushing as much as you figured you would, and it feels like you’re hanging out with a friend rather than on a date. maybe that’s what this is.

naeun calls a ride around noon, saying something is on her schedule at two. you nod, understanding her reason of departure. she smiles at you, you smile back, and then she furrows her brows a bit, still grinning.

“i spotted some cameras around us, we’ll probably be on some headlines.” she says, fixing her bangs absentmindedly. “i’d kiss you if they weren’t here, you look adorable right now.”

maybe it was a date.

you smile shyly, feeling your face burn at the bold statement. “probably, that’s fine though. and thank you.”

she laughs softly and it has a nice ring to it. “let’s see each other again sometime, i enjoyed this.”

“me too.”

“i’ll see you, y/n.”

“yeah, see you.”

when she gets into the car, you wave at her, then immediately, your attention is back on your phone. jihyo had lingered in the back of your mind the whole date, you figure it’s because she seemed to have a hard time earlier. there are no new messages other than a text from your mom, a few notifications from the group chat with your members, and texts from naeun that you never got to read—she found you right after she texted anyway, there was no need to respond.

nothing from jihyo, unfortunately. you find it strange that you went all this time (three hours) without hearing a single thing from her. it makes you frown slightly, but you shake it off for the time being and call a ride back to the dorms.

when you get back to the dorms, jihyo isn’t there. you're dissapointed after hearing mina tell you that she’s out for lunch with daniel, jihyo never told you she’d be out for lunch.

mina eyes you while you take off your jacket. “you were out on a date?”

“how’d you know?”

“little article or something that nayeon sent to the group chat, ‘april’s naeun and twice’s y/n spotted grabbing brunch together.’” she says, reading off her phone. “nayeon and sana were teasing you as well.”

you sigh. “of course they were.”

“well, did you have fun?” mina asks you, raising a brow. “do you like her?”

it takes you a moment to respond, you have to think about it.

“she’s nice.”

“so you like her...?”

“maybe. i guess we’ll have to go out more to figure that out.”

“hm.” she looks at you, it seems that she’s trying to figure out something. “okay.”

you don’t question the uncertainty in her look; instead, you walk over to your room, deciding to lie down and reenergize.

as your outings with naeun become more frequent, you find yourself with fewer opportunities to engage in meaningful conversations with jihyo, or anything jihyo related. likewise, jihyo's increased outings with daniel and her focus on work leave her with little time to dwell on the uneasy feeling in her chest whenever she sees another headline about you and naeun. it's not like you two are public about your relationship, of course you weren’t, the media would be at your throats. but still, your members know, and if jihyo knew you’d feel a little guilty.

(you don’t know why, but that’s how you think.)

the next comeback takes your attention away from a lot of things, takes your energy away, takes time away from only the two of you – you and jihyo – not anyone else.

the distance between you and jihyo seems to grow with each passing day, overshadowed by the presence of others in your lives. there's a weird gap between you two, you seem to talk to anyone but each other these days.

[1:05am]

you: are you awake?

jihyo looks at her phone after it buzzes, wondering who could possibly be texting her at this hour. she’s in the living room watching some movie, the tv there is better than her laptop. she picks up her phone, looking at your contact and the contact photo of you that she had set – a picture of you before blowing out candles on your first birthday while in twice – then responds.

[1:07am]

jihyo: yes

you: what are you doing?

jihyo: on the couch watching a movie, why are you up?

you: just not tired. had an americano earlier.

part of you wants to mention that it was when you were with naeun, but you decide to leave it out. you don’t like to mention naeun really, not with jihyo at least. you don’t really know why, but it feels right not to.

you: can i join?

jihyo stares at the phone for a bit, she wouldn’t mind your company, if anything—it's been a while since the two of you have been alone.

jihyo: come.

you smile at your phone, you don’t usually smile at messages.

jihyo looks away from the tv once she spots you, you’re dressed in an oversized hoodie and shorts that cut off five or six centimeters above your knee. a smile is thrown her way and that same smile tugs at the leaders' lips.

you settle down next to her, a small, evident space in between that neither of you want there. jihyo continues the movie, pressing the “play” button and you sink back a bit, moving your hips up and lounging against the cushion. your body moves a bit when you do so, in a way that makes it so that your shoulders are touching. the small detail makes both of you concentrate on the movie more than necessary.

a few minutes pass, then you decide that’s enough silence. your turn your head and ask, “how have you been?” it’s a simple question, really, but it still catches jihyo off guard.

“good, you?”

“i’m good.” you answer, and then you look at her for a moment more. “how are things with daniel?”

jihyo tenses up a bit, the last thing she wants to think about is him. “alright. what about you and naeun?”

“oh, yeah we’re alright.”

the two of you stare at each other for a bit, unsure of what to say for a bit.

your head falls to the cushion of the couch, you lean against it, keeping eye contact with jihyo before your gaze softens.

“are we okay?”

“what do you mean y/n?”

“i just, miss talking to you. it feels like forever since we’ve been... alone.”

she chuckles nervously. “i mean, i guess. the comeback has been... tiring. i'm glad we have this day off. plus, we’ve been spending time with... well, you know, our...” she wants to say lovers, but it throws her off. is lover the right word for daniel? boyfriend is, maybe, but that’s just a label. still, she doesn’t want to say that.

"yeah," you respond, the word heavy with a tinge of disappointment. and then you stare hard at jihyo, studying her under the soft glow of the living room lights. you take in every detail—the gentle curve and sparkle of her eyes under the dimmed lights, the natural beauty of her bare face—and commit it to memory, because who knows when you’ll have time to look at her like this again.

you realize that wow, you’ve missed this view – her, park jihyo – and part of you feels bad because you and your girlfriend naeun have spent so much time together lately, yet nothing about naeun makes you pause in place like this. your brain is tangled in a knot, you don’t know why.

“you look really good with the red hair.” your voice is soft, it’s gentle. “you look beautiful with anything.”

as the memory of you drunkenly complimenting her flashes through her mind, jihyo experiences a sense of déjà vu. this time you're sober, and the words you speak hold genuine sincerity.

“thanks.” her tone appreciative. she leans into the cushion, and now your heads are at the same level, the eye contact much more... intense.

jihyo doesn’t say half of what she’s thinking. you look great too, you always look astonishing. your current hairstyle, particularly the shorter, dark hair from this comeback, suits you remarkably well. the way the stylists style your hair, you, and just everything, jihyo tries not to stare too hard during rehearsals and filming. and now, god, especially now, now with your slightly disheveled hair, your sleepy eyes, bare face and leisured look. now with that voice of yours coaxing her to relaxation; you’re as captivating as ever.

she feels her voice grow fainter as she answers, “you look pretty too.”

“thanks miss leader.” you mutter lowly, which earns a giggle from the two of you. the little remark earns a dying tension that was in the air, and now your shoulders are fully touching after you scoot closer.

your arms are linked after you make the bold move, excusing the action with an “i’m cold,” but there’s no need for an excuse because jihyo’s fine with it. if anything, jihyo’s glad that you’re all touchy like this (even if it’s just a linked arm).

the movie that’s playing has already been ignored, acting as background noise as the two of you converse about who knows what. the only thing that matters is that you’re giggling like you used to, your cheeks are warm, and you’re starting to get a little sleepy.

when your words start to slur, jihyo shortens her answers and talks a little less, watching as your head falls to her shoulder and feeling you shuffle into a more comfortable position. when you fall asleep jihyo doesn’t budge, instead glancing at you like you’re the most precious thing in the world and—

it hits jihyo. there’s a striking, obvious reason that she feels the way she does towards you, why she’s been distant and hesitant with her interactions. never has her heart felt this warm or right with daniel.

her brows crease a little when she realizes, but for now, you’re asleep and content, so maybe she should be too instead of adding another worry on top of the comeback.

besides, she’s comfy right there with you, and you’re clearly feeling the same.

she closes her eyes, sighing quietly, allowing one of your arms to slip behind her back and the other over her lap so you can loosely wrap around her waist. her head gently falls to rest against yours, and soon she's fast asleep, one hand nestled in your hair while the other rests against your forearm. in this peaceful moment, she finds solace in your presence, feeling content for the first time in a while.

nayeon is still tired when she walks into the living room, but the sight of your arms lazily wrapped around jihyo’s waist, your legs messily laid out on the couch, and jihyo laid down at an awkward angle seems to wake the older member up.

taking her phone out, she giggles, then snaps a picture that’ll be used against the two of you in the groupchat.

(and little do you know, when both of you wake up to see the picture that’s sent, you’ll save it even if you act annoyed, both of you adding it to your favorites without letting anyone know.)

the comeback takes up all your time and energy, having to wake up for the pre recordings, interviews, and then trying to go about your day normally like you’re not about to pass out any moment takes a toll on you.

you've been seeing naeun for a couple of months now, of course you enjoyed spending time with her and whatnot, but when you kissed her, touched her intimately those few times or did anything romantic? it just felt... off. you didn’t mind, you’d initiate some of it, but that didn’t get rid of the fact that something was missing.

there was the thought of jihyo doing these things with you, and you had to shake your head to get rid of that thought. jihyo doesn’t like you, not like that, and she’s with daniel. she’s probably on cloud nine with him, maybe all sappy and romantic, happy. the though of him making her feel like that makes you frown. you felt terrible when you thought like this, of jihyo – so you felt terrible most of the time – because naeun was with you, and she should be enough. she is enough, but that didn’t stop you from wishing she were jihyo sometimes.

(all the time.)

spending time with naeun takes a lot too, and you’re much more cranky, less talkative, and just being around her feels like it’s hurting both of you. there’s no spark anymore, even when you kiss her or when she kisses you. making out with her feels like a chore because there’s worries in the back of your mind and stress piling up. your troubles take a toll, it goes on for almost a month before naeun decides to leave what you two have as just friends. you agree without hesitation, realizing it’s the best for both of you, but you wonder why you’re not as... emotional.

in return, jihyo knew her schedule would take the time with daniel away from her – not that she minded – which led her to make the same decision that naeun had made (but with daniel, of course. if she were with you, what could possibly lead her to break things off with you? who would ever do that?)

when she unties the knot with daniel, it’s like a weight is lifted of her shoulders, and now the comeback doesn’t seem half as bad, it’s almost as if daniel were the reason she’s been so uptight and stressed. jihyo thinks that can’t be because—well, the person you’re with shouldn’t make you feel like that, they should make you feel relaxed and bubbly and sappy and as if your head is in the clouds.

and that’s exactly how she feels when she gets those small moments alone with you.

both of you are aware of the realization, yet neither wants to confront it directly, opting instead to push the mutual feelings aside.

it lingers between you, unspoken yet palpable, as you both silently grapple with its implications, unwilling to acknowledge its weight.

“it’ll make things really complicated and difficult, and if things go wrong then our relationship with each other could affect twice you know?”

for the next couple of months until your next comeback, your relationship with your leader seems to creep back to its normal self.

with the other members you’re found inching closer to the leader, it’s honestly not on purpose but by default. it just happens.

then there’s those times where you’re alone, giggling and talking like nothing matters, like life as an idol is a breeze because really, it is when you have someone like jihyo by your side. someone you can reveal your deepest worries to, somone you can talk to without judgement, just someone you can lean on. jihyo is exactly that.

of course the members notice, but that could just be another mina and chaeyoung situation, where you’re both close and that’s it. of course, there’s much more than just being close, hell, mina and chaeyoung are more than close these days – you’ve caught them being a little too touchy and affectionate for it to be something that’s just friends – but that’s just how they are. you and jihyo on the other hand, that’s a different case, but everyone is too occupied to really look into it, so the two of you continue to be close, closer than ever without thinking much of it. afraid to think more about what it is.

alone time with jihyo becomes more frequent, including outings that used to be with naeun, dinner that used to be with naeun, laying in bed that used to be with naeun and... well, everything that used to be done with naeun. except each time it feels much more rewarding and tender.

your heart does more flips than it ever did with naeun, and jihyo could say the same in regard to daniel.

“alcohol free” is a hit, there’s no doubt about that. when there’s a hit, there's wins, and when there are wins, there is a night of celebrating.

(karaoke for hours, drinks, more drinks, and even mrore, and then meaningless laughs and conversations between you and your members.)

jihyo sits next to you with her second beer of the night, she can feel herself growing loose and looser. you’re still on your first beer, despite it being half full, you’re eyeing the soju on the table.

mina's the only one not drinking, while tzuyu takes just a few sips before passing her strawberry-flavored beer to you, her eyes wary of getting too tipsy. jeongyeon, already pretty drunk, leans heavily on momo, slurring random words. everyone seems to be on their way to wasted, or simply having a great time.

you turn to the left to see jihyo laughing away, about what? who knows. all you know is that she looks effortlessly pretty, smile lighting up the room and eyes all squinty in a way that makes your heart ache, yearn, scream, all of the above. you think that she’s looked the best this comeback (you always think that with each comeback); her cheeks are a little sun kissed from filming the music video, she seems brighter, and especially with her mid length hair, the way it frames her face so nicely, you could kiss her, maybe just a press to her cheek, and if she lets you, maybe a little more—

nope. you can’t do that. you stop yourself from thinking further. you turn away, cheeks burning from something else that’s not alcohol, something that you don’t want to acknowledge.

there’s the sinking feeling in your chest and now you’re a little scared that what you’ve had to drink will amplify it – it basically already has – so you slow down a bit, trying to get down from that temporary high. the pit in your stomach gets worse when you glance back at jihyo, who’s already looking at you with stars in her eyes.

your skin took tanned during the shoot, drawing some flak from a handful of netizens, but also garnering heaps of adoring, and a couple suggestive comments from others online. jihyo understands the appeal when looking at you, the tanned skin, nice features, and the dark, wavy, long hair that you’re pulling off for this album. of course, jihyo loves tzuyu, adores her really, and cares for the youngest, yet, whenever she glances your way, she can't help but think you'd fit the "visual" title just as well. maybe even better.

she leans over a bit, just enough so that her lips graze your ear before she says, “you look cute, y/n.”

“oh, thank you.” a giggle is added to mask the uneasiness in you before you distance yourself a bit. “i don’t feel the best, i think i might head back earlier.”

“so soon?” she tugs at your arm, pouting. “what am i supposed to do without you here?”

don't say that.

you grin, it’s forced. “c’mon, you’ll be fine without me. you look like you’re having fun already.”

“only because you’re here.” her words are a little slurred. “you make everything so... nice. yeah, that’s right, that’s the word.”

“well, i'm glad—but i really am tired. i gotta go, you have fun okay? just think of me and... things will be nice. you're not very alcohol free.” the stupid joke is followed by a giggle, and despite how corny it is – usually jihyo would punch you lightly and roll her eyes – jihyo feels like she’s just been punched in the gut.

you stand up and jihyo fights back the urge to pull you back, maybe into her, just close, that’s all she knows. the space next to her feels cold now, and the room feels darker as soon as you say your goodbyes. jihyo thinks it can’t get any worse, but then you move over so your lips are centimeters away from her ear, muttering a “think of me, i'll be at home” which definitely amplifies the ache in her heart.

home, that’s where jihyo wants to be as soon as you leave the room. she wants to be with you, maybe that’s what—or who home is.

when you get into your cab, you can’t help but think abotu jihyo more. the hurt in her face as you left, and the thought that she might like you too crosses your mind, but that can’t be, she rejected you a few years ago.

there's still that chance that her feelings changed, just maybe she feels even the slight attraction you feel with her. your feelings never really died down, adn you realize that maybe it was wrong to get into a relationship with naeun while your feelings for jihyo were still under the surface.

after you shower and get ready for bed – mind in a flurry the whole time – you’re bascially completely sober. you're still alone in the dorm, opting to try to organize your thoughts and conflicted feelings until you get a little notifcation on your phone.

you reach over, squinting at the screen.

[12:00am]

jihyo: i wish you would’ve stayed. miss you.

...

[1:30am]

y/n: miss you too.

jihyo’s flustered and nervous, cursing at herself and practically pulling her hair out as soon as she reads the text she sent. she's at your door before you even wake up the next morning to apologize to your half-asleep self. you wave her off and mutter a sleepy “it’s fine, really,” which soothes her.

the two of you pretend that night never happened after the apology, and then for the next year you run in circles. run around your feelings, run away from them. it's better, less complicated.

when the two of you manage to finally come to a point in your lives where the mutual feeling isn’t eating you two up, something else decides to swoop in and bring you back to square one.

“dates?” nayeon laughs a little. “like, wine and dine? or...”

you laugh too because, what, a date? a vlog of... a date with one of your members. it sounds silly, but also fun at the same time. you're already on board to this “2wice date” idea that the director had suggested, and it’s one of those things that makes your job much more amusing.

the rest of the members seem to be on board, and then you’re given the pairings, which renders you stiff in your seat.

“nayeon and tzuyu,” the director says, making the rest of the member's giggle. the oldest and the youngest, that would be fun to watch, fun to poke at and think about.

“mina and chaeyoung,” well, they’ve already been on dates, practically (probably) already a couple whether they know it or not. you watch chaeyoung smile like a little kid, a smile taking over. mina looks at her and a small smile tugs at her lips too. you only poke at chaeyoung.

“sana and momo.” alright, that would obviously go fine, they’re already attached to the hip anyway and—

the realization hits you: there’s only one pairing left. all the others are paired up, leaving you and jihyo.

jihyo's gaze lingers on you, and for half a second you catch her eyes widening in realization before she quickly composes herself. meanwhile, you're doing your utmost to keep it together. just when you believed you had moved on from her, or at least accepted that it wasn't going to happen, all those emotions come rushing back. you're certain this revelation will keep you tossing and turning at night until the date finally arrives.

the idea of going on a real date with her feels like cupid taking aim at your heart—but not in the traditional romantic sense. it's more like cupid wielding a gun instead of a bow, the bullet tearing your heart wide open. yeah, that's a better comparison.

the members tease each other after everything, but out of all the pairings it’s you and jihyo who get poked at the most. you feel like your heart might burst, and jihyo feels the same.

both of you sit on jihyo’s bed for a bit, trying to think of an idea for your date. neither of you want to admit it, but you’re both equally as giddy for this little episode.

jihyo suggests going for a drive, some coffee, and then a garden. it seems romantic, so romantic that you wonder if it’s alright taking on this whole thing.

“that sounds great.” you end up responding, smiling at jihyo as you say it. she purses her lips together and forms something that’s also a smile, the two of you laugh for no reason and a little spark starts a flame in your heart.

the cameras roll, it’s time to act like you’re not about to lose your mind. you're officially on this date with the prettiest, most charming woman you know, right as that recording button had been pressed.

“alright, let’s go for a drive.” and with that you follow jihyo, getting into the white car on the passengers side.

you observe jihyo starting the car, paying no mind to the managers awkwardly third-wheeling in the backseat. she shoots you a smile, and all you can do is laugh, raising the camera in your hand and pointing it at her as she maneuvers out of the parking spot and hits the road.

the car ride remains eerily quiet for a significant stretch because you simply can’t stop looking at her. jihyo doesn't seem to mind much (although deep down she does, but with cameras rolling, she has to keep her cool), and she keeps the conversation flowing, steering it towards simple, everyday topics. you manage to slip in brief responses while your eyes drink in the contours of her side profile, her beauty laid bare before you.

“y/n, you and i. we used to spend so much time together, alone.” the sudden switch from teasing nayeon and tzuyu’s date catches you off guard.

“yeah, especially before alcohol free, we still spend time together, no?”

“you’ve been straying away from me these days.” of course she’s saying it jokingly, but deep down you both know that there’s a small rift starting to form as you try to run away from your feelings. “do you remember what we’d do?”

looking out the window, you nod and say, “yeah, i remember we’d watch a lot of your shows. i never was a big movie or show person, but jihyo always managed to have me finishing multiple series’ and movies in a week.”

the two of you giggle. “you enjoyed them though.”

“some. you've made me sit through questionable things. it was always late at night though and i knew you had issues with sleeping, so i always said yes because i just wanted you to be well rested.”

a small silence envelops the air before jihyo breaks it.

“wow,” she turns to you since the light is red, her eyes appreciative. “thank you.”

“anything for twice’s leader.” your words manage to break the ice.

when you two get to the cafe, jihyo links her arms with yours and you almost drop the tripod holding the camera.

your cheeks flush as you place your order, and then jihyo steps in, graciously paying for both of you with the corporate card, causing your blush to deepen. thankfully, you're wearing a mask; otherwise, fans would have a field day with this. they'd find a way to capture your flustered moments regardless, probably compiling them into a youtube compilation.

there's a little outside area of the cafe, so of course, the two of you find your way out there.

“it’s so pretty outside, but my date is prettier.” jihyo says to the camera, making you push her gently.

“oh god, you’re being quite the romantic.”

“why wouldn’t i my love?” jihyo teases, using the pet name that makes you cringe inwardly. but deep down, you can't deny that a part of you secretly adores it, even though you all pretend to be grossed out by it when the cameras are rolling.

you roll your eyes before posing on a bench for jihyo, laughing at the way she positions herself in order to get a perfect angle of you.

(jihyo thinks that every angle of you is more than perfect.)

after jihyo finishes snapping pictures and showering you with compliments as if she's actually your girlfriend—though she isn't, and you have to constantly remind yourself that this is all for the sake of that little date episode—you switch roles. now, you're the one capturing moments, aiming your camera at her. you're in awe, wanting to preserve each shot you take on your little film camera, each one is worthy of being framed in a museum.

“you’re beautiful,” you accidentally say out loud, which makes jihyo blush in return. there's no chance that’s getting cut out.

and then you’re back in the car, but before you walked over you made sure your arms were linked, locking them tightly as if she’ll float away. jihyo gets into the driver's side and you make a small comment about being her passenger princess.

“passenger princess?”

“it’s a funny little thing, never heard of it?”

"you can be a princess all the time, not just when you're my passenger, my love," jihyo says, but immediately cringes as the words leave her mouth—not because she dislikes the term of endearment, but because it feels a bit too intimate in front of the cameras. then, the two of you burst into laughter, as if it were the funniest thing in the world. you figure the more she says “my love” the more you’ll get used to it, maybe even crave hearing it when the cameras aren’t rolling and in your dorms, as normal.

the final destination is some water garden, it’s beautiful out. the two of you find a little table to sit on and decide to have a deeper conversation there.

your heart does a flip, a tumble, and almost beats out your chest when jihyo says, “i’ve always been really captivated by you.”

“what?”

“i’m serious. i mean, all of twice, they’re all special to me, but you’ve always stood out, especially these days.”

“yeah?”

“yeah.” jihyo affirms.

you flash her a grin, then quickly turn away, attempting to compose yourself. deep down, you know the editors will have a field day with how much of a nervous wreck you are, but you try not to let it show.

“you’re one of the prettiest people i've laid eyes on, you know? ever since i first met you on sixteen.” you admit suddenly, looking down. “everything about you has caught my attention since then, you’ve only grown brighter these days.”

“is that so?”

you nod. “i mean, everyone has been brighter. these days, everyone seems to be close and happy, i'm glad.” you pause, and jihyo waits for you to continue. “i’m just really glad we’re happy these days. i've done everything i can to keep everything from being complicated.”

the realization hits, she makes complete eye contact with you as you say it. your eyes stare hard into hers, like daggers pointing at her. and then you look down again, playing with your hands.

"sometimes, i don't know, i feel a little overwhelmed with how i feel and everything, but after spending time with you like this," your words now directed solely at jihyo, a shift she can clearly sense as her heart tightens. "i start to think that maybe... maybe it's okay if things are complicated. because we've dealt with complicated stuff before and managed to work through it. but sometimes i still avoid things and it makes the feelings worse. sometimes, you have to complicate things to reach an outcome that'll make everything alright. i think about that a lot, but i'm not sure if i'm wording it right. i think i want to complicate things now that i think about it.”

you're not sure if any of what you're saying will make the final cut, and even if it does, the viewers might not grasp the real meaning. but as jihyo's eyes soften while she looks at you, you find yourself locking eyes with her again. there's a silent understanding passing between you, and suddenly, your words seem to resonate on a deeper level, shifting the atmosphere. jihyo understands, and in that moment, it's as if her heart breaks free from its constraints.

“i think you’re right y/n. maybe complicating things is worth the trouble.”

“yeah.” is all you can say.

a brief silence settles, but it's far from uncomfortable. you share a smile with jihyo, and a few seconds pass before the two of you effortlessly shift the conversation back to discussing your fellow members and how both of you have grown over time.

in that lingering silence, there's a final understanding, unspoken yet palpable. you realize that this moment, right here, is probably the most content you've felt in a while. and judging by the serene expression on jihyo's face, she feels the same way too.

minutes later, you snap the final pictures, finding a swinging seat by the water to settle on. jihyo leans against your shoulder, and a sense of warmth and contentment washes over you. as the managers stand in front of the two of you, holding your film camera and waiting for a pose, jihyo moves away slightly and then leans her head back against you. with a soft smile, she puts up a little peace sign, and you instinctively mirror her gesture as your heads gently touch.

a rush of confidence floods through you, emboldening your actions. you turn your head slightly so you can whisper into jihyo's ear, "can i kiss you? on the cheek."

she turns to you in surprise, her face almost meeting yours due to the proximity, then nods with a slight flush on her face. "yes, of course you can."

for the next picture, your lips gently land on jihyo's cheek, your hand instinctively cupping the other side of her face to draw her closer. jihyo smiles big, the happiness evident in her expression and pink cheeks. there's no doubt that once this picture is developed, the two of you will spend a good amount of time gazing at it, admiring the moment captured on film.

“i’m happy we got paired.” you admit, the camera capturing your words.

“me too, i'm really glad.” jihyo responds

you and jihyo don’t talk much after the date, when you reach the dorms, jihyo is afraid to say anything really. this is the first time she’s had to think so much about, well, the two of you for the first time in a while.

“that was a lot of fun.” you simply say trying to ease the tension. “it was lovely.”

“i liked it a lot.”

you nod, and look at her, searching in her eyes for something. “are you okay?”

“i’m fine, y/n.” her tone is unsure, a little apprehensive.

“right, okay.” you narrow your eyes at her, then sigh. “i’ll be in my room, if you... need anything.”

jihyo doesn’t utter a word, instead she lets you walk away, watching you turn back to meet her as you step inside.

a wave of emotions crashes over you, and a part of you—perhaps all of you—wants to cry. the date wasn't bad, but now everything feels... strange. it's not uncomfortable, but you can't shake the feeling that maybe jihyo didn't quite understand what you were trying to say during your ramblings. maybe she was just being polite, playing along, and she'll give you a gentle talk later.

flopping onto your bed, you close your eyes and rub your face with your hands, feeling the weight of uncertainty pressing down on you. you resist the urge to tear your hair out, but the turmoil inside you remains, leaving you feeling lost and unsure of what comes next. what could possibly happen after this? after acknowledging years of these unspoken feelings, you really can’t pinpoint a—

you shoot up from your bed at the sound of a knock on your door. you quickly run through the possibilities—nayeon is out with momo, and tzuyu has a shoot—leaving you with one answer.

it's jihyo, it’s definitely jihyo.

unsure why, you’re a bit scared. she's at your door waiting, all you have to do is open it and figure out what might happen next. the anticipation grills you.

you open it, looking down a bit to see jihyo.

“y/n.”

“hey, are you—”

“i can’t keep doing this anymore.” she says, looking and sounding conflicted. “after today i realized that, i don’t know, i really love you.” she pauses, waiting for you to say something, anything. when you don’t, she continues. “all these years, i was a fool for saying all that, you know, the professionalism and complications. i realize now that it only made things worse and, gosh, years, years, i've been fighting back how i felt about you. how i still feel about you and, this whole date thing—y/n, i can’t imagine waiting any longer or fighting back anything any longer.”

everything that jihyo says seems like a fever dream, part of you doesn’t believe she’s saying all of this. you're frozen in place, staring at her with your jaw dropped a little, wanting to say something, anything, but you can’t.

“please say something, i know you felt this way about me initially and--”

“kiss me.” you interject, shakign your head in disbelief. “just--”

jihyo doesn’t wait for another word from you. in an instant, she closes the distance between you, and oh my god, her lips are soft, she's perfect. it's surreal— you're kissing park jihyo, the culmination of years of inner turmoil, fighting against your own desires. everything you've daydreamed of and hoped for is finally happening, and it's even more incredible than you imagined. it's all so right.

you close your eyes tight, afraid that if you open them she’ll be gone and this will all unfold into a dream. but you feel her hands on your cheek and it proves that yeah, this is all real. you can’t help but smile, jihyo feels it as you kiss her. she feels herself smiling against you too.

stumbling back a little, jihyo closes the door behind the two of you before you both fall backwards onto your bed. she pulls away from the kiss to catch her breath properly, and you can barely open your eyes in the haze of the moment. but when you finally manage to, you see her smiling down at you like you're the most precious thing in the world, like you're everything she's needed this whole time and honestly, you are.

all those years of uncertainty, but she was always certain about you. no matter how hard she tried to push it down, it was you she needed. and now, it's real—nothing is complicated anymore, who cares if it’s anything even close to unprofessional or complicated. you don’t, that’s for sure.

you hold her in place by her hips, gently keeping her in place before eagerly catching her lips again, cupping her cheek as you kiss her deeply. you never want to pull away, never want to stay apart from her from now on.

all those years of pining, and despite how conflicted you felt, it was all worth it if it meant jihyo kissing you now, and by the end of the night: in your arms.

everything was worth it if it meant her in the end.

#i hope you know i was fr in my feels before i realized it was april 1st #then i was hoping and praying it was a joke 💔

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