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ellemj · 5 months

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Making Sure: 12 Days of Smut #3 - Sex Pollen

Bucky Barnes x Reader One-Shot

Summary: Bucky is exposed to a sex pollen while the two of you are snowed in, stuck in a cabin in the Swiss Alps after finishing up a mission. Oh, and of course, you happen to be his ex-girlfriend.

Warnings: profanity, dubcon (sex pollen), possessive!Bucky, breeding kink, unprotected sex, mutual pining of sorts, some use of y/n, MINORS DNI, 18+!!!

Feel free to comment and let me know if this requires any other warnings.

Word Count: 4k

A/N: My laptop decided it didn't want to turn on today, and then when it finally turned on it didn't want to run any apps so 12 Days of Smut almost became 11 Days of Smut. But anyway, let me know if you guys like this one! For once, it doesn't involve anyone hating anyone or an obscene amount of unbearable tension (which I severely miss).

It’s not all that hard to work with your ex, not when you ended on decent terms. Well, as decent as they could have been. When Bucky broke up with you three months ago, it wasn’t completely out of the blue. You hadn’t been having any problems, you never had any fights, but you knew he was never as into the relationship as you were. He had said from the very beginning that he didn’t think he ever wanted a lifelong commitment. The majority of his life had been spent without having true freedom to make his own decisions. It’s safe to say the man only had about six years of making decisions for himself, between turning eighteen and joining the army. Then the army had a say in everything he did until he was taken by HYDRA. HYDRA controlled him for so long, and honestly, they still have some form of control over him if you consider his nightmares and insomnia issues. So, when things started to feel a little too serious between you two, when Bucky started to realize that he actually loved you, that’s when he called it off.

You’d both agreed to keep the relationship between yourselves, remaining professional at work and around the others. Even Sam had never figured it out. Bucky was so good at keeping it hidden, staying completely stoic unless he was positive you were both alone. When things ended between you two, he became stoic all the time. There have been a few times where you’ve felt a bit angry with how easily he can just shut himself off and pretend like you never had anything between you. You think you might’ve been in love with him. How can you be stoic around him when you loved him? You can’t be. So, instead of being stoic, you’re just a little more quiet than usual. You get your job done, you speak to him as professionally as you can, and then you get away from him.

Unfortunately though, there’s no getting away from him tonight. Technically, your mission is already over. You broke into HYDRA’s only remaining functional lab, you stole at least one sample of each of the various compounds that they were working on, and then you got the hell out of there. You made it all the way back to the safehouse, a small rustic cabin a little ways up in the Swiss Alps. It had been snowing for the last twenty-four hours that you’d been here, but the winter weather came to a head to today on your drive back from the break-in. By the time you got all of the samples safely inside the cabin, there was no way either of you could make the drive back down the mountain to reach the quinjet. You’re stuck here for the night.

“I want them kept at a pretty low temperature overnight, well below thirty degrees.” Bruce has been watching you over a video call as you’ve been cataloging the samples and packing them safely into a padded case. “It’d probably be best to leave them all in the trunk of the car, since it’s so cold out there.” Bucky’s sitting in the living area while you’re working at the kitchen table, but he’s still listening in. He’s listened for the last half hour as you labeled the samples and hummed a little Christmas tune to yourself. Truthfully, he almost forgot that Christmas is in a few days until he heard you humming that song that you love so much. What was it? He can never remember the name, but he recognizes it from last Christmas. You sang it often and he was lucky enough to still be yours then, to still get the privilege of listening to you flit around the tower so festively, infecting everyone around with your cheerful spirit.

“They all fit in the case except for one, but it should be fine. I’ll just stick it in the trunk next to the case and slip it into my bag tomorrow before we drive out.” You say, holding up the thin glass flask containing a very watery, clear liquid. It looks the least terrifying, out of all of the chemicals you retrieved from the lab today.

“Good work today, we’ll see you guys back here tomorrow, if the weather permits.” Bruce gives a little wave before ending the video call. Just as you’re closing the heavy black case of samples, Bucky rises from his seat on the couch and joins you in the kitchen.

“I’ll take them out.” He offers, staying a few feet away from you but at least making eye contact with you. He doesn’t seem to look at you very often since you broke up, but you can’t complain about it. It makes it a little easier to get over him when you’re not drowning in his blue eyes. You give him a curt nod before sliding the case across the table and then setting the sealed flask of clear liquid on top of it.

“Try not to jostle them around too much, carry it with two hands.”

“Got it, two hands.” Bucky repeats. You watch as he lifts the case, leaving the glass flask resting on the lid. You think about carrying the lone chemical out there in your own hands, worrying that Bucky might tip the case a little too far and let the flask fall to the ground outside, but you brush off the worry. He’s never been clumsy, and he sure as hell hasn’t ever been careless. It’ll be fine. It’s just a short walk from the front door to the back of the car.

In retrospect, you should’ve listened to your instincts.

When Bucky rushes in the front door only a minute after he’s stepped outside with the chemicals, a sickening feeling settles deep in your stomach. You quickly turn to the source of commotion as he slams the door shut behind him and starts nearly jogging across the cabin, heading straight for the bathroom at the end of the hall.

“Bucky? What happened?” You call out, your feet carrying you down the hall after him. Bucky strips off his coat, dropping it on the floor in the hall before throwing the bathroom door open and ripping off his shirt. He doesn’t even close the bathroom door. You step over his coat and come to a stop in the doorway as he leans down and turns on the shower.

“Stay back.” He warns, giving you a sideways glance that makes your stomach flip. “I slipped on a patch of ice and the little glass thing on top of the case fell and shattered. Whatever was in it evaporated quick, but I inhaled a lot of it. I don’t know if I got any on me.”

Shit. This is not good. Bucky starts unbuckling his belt, but stops himself after he gets it undone, finally turning and looking you straight in the eye. Right. You’re not together anymore.

“Only rinse, don’t use soap. We don’t know what the chemical was or what might interact with it.” You say, forcing your voice to sound calmer than you feel. Bucky nods, and then shuts the door between the two of you. Shit. You knew you should’ve carried that damn flask yourself.

---

Half an hour later, after Bucky’s finished showering and is resting on the couch per yours and Bruce’s orders, he begins to feel something. He wanted to go to bed, just sleep it off and see how he felt in the morning, but you and Bruce insisted that he stay in the living room and awake so you could monitor him for any weird signs or symptoms. You miss the first few symptoms that Bucky begins to feel. First, his heart rate began picking up. It was so miniscule at first that even he didn’t notice it, but it increased more and more until he could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears. Then, even in the chilly little cabin with a near-blizzard raging outside, Bucky began to feel hot. Hot to the point of wanting to take off everything he was wearing and go lay in the snow. Now he sits on the couch, breathing a little quicker than he was earlier, with beads of sweat forming on the back of his neck. It’s his increased respiratory rate that you notice first. Then, as you begin looking him over from your far away seat at the kitchen table, you see the way his cheeks are flushed and the way his dark gray t-shirt is beginning to stick to the sweat coming off of his back. Shit. Whatever it was that he was exposed to, it sure as hell wasn’t nothing.

You’re just about to ask Bucky what he’s feeling when he abruptly stands from the couch and looks right at you, his gaze wild and pupils blown.

“Bucky—” You start, but he cuts you off in an instant.

“I don’t know what was in that flask, but I’ll be fine. I’m not going to sit out here all night.” Bucky’s trying to play it off. He has no fucking idea if he’ll actually be fine, but the newest physiological response his body is having to the chemical isn’t one he wants you to become aware of. He’s aroused. His cock is harder than it’s ever been, and he’d rather sleep outside on the icy road and get run over by Santa’s fucking sleigh then stay this close to you. He worries he won’t be able to control himself if he has to look at you one more time tonight, if he even hears another breath leave your lips, he’ll be done for.

“Bucky, tell me what you’re feeling.” You say softly, pushing your chair away from the table and standing, but not daring to move any closer to where he stands in the living room. He scrunches his eyes closed and presses his vibranium hand to the back of his neck in an attempt to cool the skin there.

“Y/n, I’m going to bed.” He sounds so frustrated. It’s a tone of voice you actually recognize. This is how he used to sound when you’d tease him at the worst times, when you were somewhere that restricted him from being able to touch you, to fuck you.

“Is it what I think it is?” You ask, your voice impossibly quieter than before. Bucky’s eyes snap open now and he studies you. Looking at you makes his dick throb and his balls feel so fucking full and heavy. He closes his eyes again as quickly as he opened them and then, you’re sure. It was a fucking sex pollen.

You don’t dare make a move to stop Bucky when he hurries down the hall and locks himself in his bedroom. You stand frozen in the kitchen for the next two minutes, trying to figure out what the hell you should be doing in a situation like this. You end up doing what you do best: researching. You sit yourself right back down at the table and open your laptop, quickly accessing the online archive of SHIELD research files. You type in every word you can possibly think of to find what you need. Luckily, the first article that pops up is exactly what you needed.

You skim through it at lightning speed, your eyes picking up on the important details. Heightened senses, increases sexual drive ten-fold, may result in permanent disability or death if state of intense arousal is not rectified. Shit, this is bad. You’re wondering how the hell one is supposed to rectify the intense arousal when your eyes land on the most key piece of information in the entire article. Human trials have revealed that allowed the specimen to engage in sexual intercourse is the only successful way to return to a normotensive physiological state.

You have to fuck. You have to convince him to have sex with you. You have to convince the man who broke up with you three months ago to have sex with you. You’ve suddenly decided that you fucking hate your job.

However, you’re not going to sit around while Bucky becomes permanently disabled or lets himself die of exposure to a damn HYDRA sex pollen. So, you slam your laptop shut and march right down the hall. You tap your knuckles against his bedroom door three times, until you hear the bed creak slightly, so you at least know he’s alive. He doesn’t make a single move to answer the door. He’s sitting on the side of the bed, his hands gripping the edge of the mattress so hard that it’ll probably never spring back into shape. His sense of hearing is heightened so much that he can hear every breath you take. He thinks he can even hear the sound of your eyelashes fluttering as you blink.

“Bucky, I did some research.” God, just the sound of your voice might be enough to make him cum in his sweats. Bucky bites his bottom lip and looks down at where his erection is fighting to escape the confines of his sweats. “If this is a sex pollen, which I think we both know it is, it can kill you. The only way to fix this is to…” Your voice trails off, but you don’t have to finish your sentence for Bucky to know what the solution is here. But he won’t ask that of you. He refuses to ask you to sleep with him. He knows he broke your heart three months ago, and he’d be the world’s biggest asshole if he used you for relief now. So, he stays silent. “We could…”

You can’t seem to finish any of your sentences. Why is it so hard for you to say we could fuck. Oh, right. Because you’ve missed the way he fucks for months. Because you know that if he wasn’t under the influence of this chemical right now, he sure as hell wouldn’t be turned on around you. You’d happily have sex with him right now, but he’d only be doing it because he has to do it to survive.

“I know I’m probably the last person that you’d want to be offering this, but I’m offering. I don’t want you to sit in there and die.” You say softly, your voice cracking a little bit on the final word. The last person he’d want to be offering this? Fuck, you have no idea how he really feels, do you? Bucky screws his eyes shut and fights back the urge to throw the door open and tell you how much he fucking loves you, how much he’s missed you. It’s why he broke up with you in the first place. What if something happened one day that turned him right back into the Winter Soldier? What if he ended up on ice again and by the time he came out of cryo, you were dead and gone? He had to break up with you, because he felt like his future was always too unclear to promise it to someone.

“I’m here, Bucky, if you need me.” You whisper, with your forehead pressed against the cool wood of the door. He can tell that you’re hurting for him. It’s why, against his rational mind, he finds himself crossing the room and tugging the door open. When he sees you standing there in the light of the hallway, he can hear that little Christmas tune that you love so much playing in his head. Fuck it.

You’ve barely had a second to realize that Bucky’s just opened the door for you before you feel his hand fist in your hair and he yanks you forward against his chest. His mouth captures yours in a heated kiss. Bucky sucks your bottom lip between his and wastes no time in using his hold on your hair to tilt your head to the side and slide his tongue into your mouth. You act on muscle memory, kissing him the same way you used to every single day. You let his tongue dance around your mouth, but when he begins to pull back you suck on it lightly, earning a groan from him. He tastes just like you remember, and suddenly you want him so badly that for all you know you could have some sex pollen coursing through your veins.

“The last person I’d want to be offering this?” Bucky rasps against your lips, briefly looking into your eyes as he repeats your words in question. “You’re the only person I’d want to be offering this.” He pulls on your hair again, tilting your head further to the side and sucking on the skin right below your ear. Your eyes close as you try to calm your racing heart, reminding yourself that as perfect as this might feel right now, it won’t last.

It takes mere seconds for Bucky to pull you into his room and practically throw you onto his bed. When he crawls over you a second later, it’s like he’s suddenly realized you both still have your clothes on. He stands back up beside the bed and strips quickly, exposing every bit of his fucking heavenly body to you. You don’t even try to choke back the whimper that leaves your lips. Bucky freezes when he hears it. He’s heard it before. He’s heard it in his dreams, ever since you broke up. It’s sort of funny. He never had dreams before, only nightmares. Until he broke up with you, and then he started having dreams about you every night. They’ve replaced nearly every nightmare. Instead of HYDRA being the reason he’s up at night, it’s all you.

You start shimmying out of your pants right there on the bed as you look at Bucky, too impatient to stand up and take everything off like he did. He strokes his cock slowly in one hand, but every time his palm glides over the tip he makes a face like he’s in pain. You know from your brief research that touching himself won’t give him an ounce of relief, it’ll only make things worse. So, once you have your pants off, you reach up and grab his wrist, stopping his stroking, and pulling him closer to the bed. He gets the hint and positions himself on top of you again, spreading your legs apart with his knee before settling between them.

“I’ve missed you.” Bucky coos against the side of your neck, right as you feel the head of his cock brushing against your clit through your already soaked panties. He didn’t mean to say it. He doesn’t want to make the break up any harder for you, but fuck. He’s missed having you under him like this, though in the past you never kept your panties and shirt on when you were under him.

“I’ve been right here.” You respond quietly, letting your hands coast down his sides until you feel the way his back muscles are rigid underneath your palms. He’s restraining himself. “Bucky, you don’t have to hold back.” He sighs deeply and grinds his cock against you, hard. It draws a moan from your lips that’s so needy, Bucky can’t wait any longer. He knows he’s only waited a minute at this point, but he just can’t anymore. He reaches down between the two of you and snags a finger in your panties, deftly pulling them to the side and guiding his cock straight into you without warning. The cry that escapes you isn’t one of pain or surprise, it’s one of pure lust. It might’ve been three months since the last time you had sex, but your body accepts his cock like it never left. There’s no pain, there’s only pleasure as he starts fucking into you slowly. He builds the pace up in mere seconds, speeding up more and more until he’s fucking you so hard and fast that the headboard is snapping against the wall and scratching the paint.

“God, you’re still so fucking tight for me.” He groans, burying himself balls deep inside you. He stays still for a moment, letting your pussy grip his cock like a vice.

“It’s still yours.” You whisper the words against his jawline. When his eyes snap open and stare straight into yours, you know you probably shouldn’t have said it. His pupils are already overly dilated, but they expand a little more as possessiveness flares in his chest. He always loved when you let him know who your pussy belonged to. He fucking loved it.

Wait. The realization hits you both at the same time. He isn’t wearing a condom. As he looks into your eyes, his face falls and your eyes widen. He never once fucked you without a condom on. It was part of his whole no-long-term-commitment thing. He didn’t want to risk an unintentional pregnancy, so he never let himself fuck you raw. When he starts to pull out, you’re quick to wrap your legs around him and lock him in place.

“Don’t.” You plead. You want this. You’ve always wanted this. Bucky bites his bottom lip and closes his eyes, trying to find a single rational thought in his mind. He knows he shouldn’t do this, he knows he should pull out and find a fucking condom. But will he?

The answer is no. He uses what little space you give him between your legs to start thrusting into you again, slower this time, but still every bit as deep as before.

“If you don’t let me pull out…” He starts, but you pull his face down to yours and silence him with a kiss. After a few seconds, he picks up his pace and begins fucking you relentlessly once again, further ruining the paintjob on the bedroom wall behind the headboard.

“I always wanted you to fuck me like this.” You sigh against his lips. You feel Bucky’s entire body tense up as he nears his release, your words egging him on.

“Oh, baby, I always wanted to fuck you like this.” He admits, snapping his hips into yours and getting you that much closer to the edge. As your orgasm threatens to tear through you, something weighs heavy on Bucky’s mind. He wants to cum inside you. He loves you but he’s always told himself he can’t have you, because his future is so unclear, he can’t make promises to you and possibly break them. But…he’s a good guy. If he were to knock you up, he’d do the right thing. The traditional thing. He’d marry you and take such good care of you, of the little family you’d have together. Maybe that’s what he should do. He thinks that maybe if he gets you pregnant right now, it would force him to give you his future, no matter how much it scares him. He’d be so much more concerned with doing the right thing in the present, rather than worrying about what might happen in the future. “Let me cum inside you.”

“You can, Bucky. You can cum inside me.” You moan out, locking your ankles together behind him and pulling him harder against you. He groans and presses another kiss to your lips, but a gentler one this time.

“You’ll have a baby for me.” He doesn’t even phrase it as a question, no, he’s telling you what you’ll do. “You’ll let me get you pregnant, and then you’ll be mine.”

“Fuck…” The curse falls from your lips as bliss surges through you. You can’t even find the words to say what you want to say, which is fuck yes. So, you lay there submissively, with your legs wrapped around him as he fucks every drop of cum that he has into you. Then, you catch your breath while he pulls his cock out of you and slides your panties back over your sore cunt. You even let him pile the pillows beneath your hips and legs, elevating your pelvis to make sure his cum won’t drip back out of you.

Fuck. He really wants to make sure you’re pregnant after this.

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#bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #mcu #bucky barnes x you #marvel #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #winter soldier #12 days of smut

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tsimvkas · 10 days

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come back home — mason mount

A/N: really sad to hear about the new injury so maybe this can distract u guys a bit. im ngl, this one is pretty personal to me so please take care of it. tbh this is a special fic for mi amore elisa, and i hope it matches her expectations. this story wouldn’t exist without you bestie 🫶🏻

word count: 8.5k | masterlist

content: reader has mommy issues, dad!mason, angsty and fluffy end

When your mum called, you didn’t think twice.

She asked you to spend a week with her, and you accepted straight away, incapable of believing that your brother left her alone without warning you.

To be fair, you know you’re not on speaking terms with him, but it's your mother. How could he let her alone?

When you told Mason, you could see the insecurity on his face. Since you gave birth to your baby boy, you had never ever left the house without him, and leaving Manchester to go back to your mum’s in London was a big thing, but eventually he sighed and nodded.

“Just make sure you call me everyday” he kissed your forehead before kissing Leo. Just a week, you told him. In a week you would be back to your husband.

You met Mason at the Champions League final im the 20/21 season, and you like to say it was love at first sigh, the way your relationship instantly clicked is still surprising. You dated for a year before he asked you to be his wife, and you thinks you would’ve said yes another million times.

You’ve been together through the good enough season of 21/22, and all the shit of 22/23. You got pregnant in the middle of his last season for Chelsea, and Luke was born already in Manchester, in October.

Since Mason’s injury in November he’s been able to participate more, spending lots of time with his son as he doesn’t need to go to away games, and you know that this week away will make both of them sad.

You tried to tell yourself that since Mason is back at the regular training and ready to be back on the pitch, they would spend less time together anyway. It didn’t make the decision any easier.

When you packed for a week and got into the car, your husband helped to put Luke in the baby seat before kissing you lovely.

“Call me every night. Don’t let her be alone with Luke, please? And come back soon” he whispered against your lips, stroking your chin. “I love you”

“I love you” you kissed him, before reluctantly driving away from your husband.

Sundays are usually already sad and gray, but Mason is sure his just hit another level of depression.

—

It was already night when you got to your mum’s house, not talking much to her before settling on Matt’s old room and texting Mason.

You instantly found out that it would be a difficult week: it was the first time you were away from Mason since you gave birth, and the first time Luke had to sleep away from daddy.

The thing is that he couldn’t. You couldn’t put your baby to sleep, not even if your life depended on it. Luke kept loudly crying, tossing and squirming in your arms.

You tried your best to calm him, thinking it could have something bothering him like his current clothes or the weather difference, but not even breastfeeding calmed him down.

Mason tried to help you every time he FaceTimed you, and it was when Luke seemed to feel better but never lasted long.

You were feeling exhausted the whole week, but that didn’t stop your mother from asking you everything she could, like you were still fifteen years old with the responsibility of helping her to clean a house isn’t yours anymore.

Plus, she seemed incredibly bothered about Luke and the fact he wasn’t feeling well, dropping comments about him. You tried your best to ignore, because you know your mother isn’t the easiest person to live with, and since you were leaving soon you didn’t want to fight.

Wednesday night you were missing Mason like crazy, wanting nothing more than to be wrapped with him under the covers, and your heart twisted when his face showed up on your screen.

“Hi baby” Mason murmured, already tucked in bed and making your heart ache with the need of being there and snuggling with him.

“Hi Mase. How are you?”

“Training was fine, and I’m getting closer to come back” he smiled, and you instantly matched his expression.

“I can’t wait to watch you again, love”

You think that is adorable how Mason’s cheeks still got red when you show him affection.

“And how’s your week going?”

“It could’ve been better if I was with you. I miss you” you sighed. “But the week is almost over and I’ll be home soon”

“Good” he yawned, getting more comfortable. . “Show me my little man”

Luke was still wide awake and paying attention to what you were saying, and you showed Mason to him.

“Hi buddy, you’re being a good boy, yeah? Be good to mumma, please. I miss you”

When Luke babbled to him, Mason giggled before wishing you a good night and telling you he loved you.

—

When Saturday came your mother talked to you, saying Matt had some problem and he wouldn’t be back for another week, begging you to stay a little while. The hardest part was telling Mason about it.

“She needs me to stay for one more week, Masey” you murmured, feeling guilty. When Mason didn’t answer you tried again. “I’m sorry, baby. I’ll be home next Sunday”

“It’s okay. I was just hoping you’d be here for Liverpool’s game tomorrow, I think I’ll be subbed on. But it’s okay, you can travel to Brentford's game with Luke” he assured you. “I wish I could go see you during the international break, but they want me to stay in rehab”

“I’m really sorry baby, I tried to contact my brother but he’s being petty” you sighed.

“I understand, princess. I just miss you” he told you gently. “How’s my buddy going?”

“He’s good, he’s just so irritated lately, I think it’s his tooth” you sighed again, feeling tired. “He misses you”

“Poor bubba” Mason pouted, making you smile. “Give him a kiss yeah?”

“Sure” you smiled. “We’ll be back at the end of the week. I love you”

When the week unfolded, you weren’t sure about your decision anymore.

You choose to stay with your mother for one more week over living your husband’s comeback, and in gratitude she spent this time talking bad things about you.

It started with innocent comments. How she would never buy the clothes you were wearing. How you were raising a clingy kid by never letting him sleep alone. How you should breastfeed him less or your boobs would get flaccid.

You tried to shrug it off, like you did when you were younger. You used to believe that your mother was always right and that she was always the mature one, but you’re not so sure anymore.

During the second week you kept calling Mason every night, sharing about your day and showing him to Luke, who would try to grab the phone and put dads on his month. When, without a question if you could or wanted, the second week turned into a third, you could feel Mason losing his patience.

“It’s okay, you can still go to Brentford’s game this Saturday” he repeated, but it sounded like he was trying to convince himself instead. “You can bring Luke, Brentford is friendly. How is he doing?”

“He had a fever but he’s fine now” you showed Luke sleeping next to you, his face a little red.

“Let me know if something changes” Mason asked you, and his concerned look just proved you chose the right dad for your son.

You nodded to his image on the small screen, his adorable face almost hidden by the sheets, the bed looking incredibly big.

“Can we sleep on call?” you asked, missing him so much it was physically hurting you. Mason’s face softened and he nodded.

Some people might think that you could just go back home. If you really miss him you would do it, right?

But you know Mason understands your relationship with your mother, how you feel you owe her everything. She raised you, gave you everything you needed.

She was rough sometimes, yes. And there were days you didn’t feel loved at all, but she was still your mum, even when she couldn’t tell you she was proud, even when she couldn’t hug you during storms.

Even when she couldn’t believe you would be someone successful one day.

So you kept there, living your days boringly, washing the dishes and the clothes, playing with Luke, cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner. For her, so she would be happy and proud.

And you were losing your mind.

—

When Brentford's game came, you weren’t able to go. You apologised to him the day before, spending hours on the phone, and even though you could see the sad look in his eyes Mason was still comprehensive.

“She needs me to accompany her to the exam” you told him, and Mason himself could see you weren’t funny about your current situation; you just weren’t brave enough to hurt your mother the way she hurts you and leave.

You were able to watch the game when you came back from your mother’s exam and it wasn’t a surprise to you when Mason changed the whole game by being subbed on.

Luke was already sleeping, so you tried your best not to scream when your husband scored, tearing up to see he dedicated the goal to you by pointing to his ring finger.

You were able to talk with him only for a few minutes before he desperately needed to sleep, whispering that you was proud of him and the way his voice cracked when he told you he loved you made your heart hurt.

Following the week, you weren’t able to talk much with him. Only quick calls at night before he dozed off still holding his phone, feeling much more tired now that he’s back at attending games even though he doesn’t play the full match.

Your Wednesday started with Luke’s little sobs waking you up, and you were sure he wasn’t feeling well again. After breastfeeding and showering with him, you managed to get you both changed and ready to start the day.

When you got downstairs your mother was already in the kitchen, and you could hear her complaining that you were late.

“For what?” you surprised her, and despite being early in the morning she seemed grumpy already.

“For breakfast, what more could it be? I had to cook it myself” she snorted, and you took a deep breath before

“If you’re capable of it, I don’t see what’s wrong” you shrugged.

The truth is that you’re starting to wonder what he hell you’re doing there and why Matt hasn’t come back. What should be a week turned into a month and you was living her life instead of yours.

When you sat at the table for breakfast, after managing to cook your own meal with Luke in one of your arms, you had to take a deep breath as soon as she started to talk.

You’ve heard in silence when she talked about you and Luke, but never makes you more furious like when your mother decides to talk about Mason.

“He could spend more time in the gym” she told you, suddenly. “Your husband”

You were only capable of frowning at her, not understanding why she would brought this out of nowhere.

“What do you mean?”

“He could train more. Maybe some more muscles would make him prettier and better at football” she shrugged, making you laugh in disbelief.

“He’s already pretty and good at football”

“I don’t know, Y/N. I feel like he’s not the right man to you, and I want the best to my little girl”

Mason is the most caring and gentle man you’ve ever known, and you knew you couldn’t sit there and hear her talking shit about him day after day.

“Mum, you can’t be serious. He’s my husband. Not only this, but he’s Luke’s father. Don’t talk about him like that”

“Are you sure he doesn’t cheat on you?” she innocently asked, making you choke on your coffee.

“Mum!” you gasped, not believing what she was saying.

Luke’s eyes widened and you tried to recompose yourself so he wouldn’t cry out of fear

“I mean, he could have anyone… everyone. A skinny and tanned woman, with pretty features…”

There it was. The reason why you grew up so insecure, something that would annoy lots of men — but not Mason. Not your boy, who would reassure you every time and make you really believe that you’re pretty and loved.

Her words still stung though, but you shrugged them off.

“Mason loves me” was everything you told her before leaving the table with Luke.

You went out for a walk with your baby, trying to make the day pass faster and see if he’d feel better after some fresh air. When it started to get dark, you came back home and gave Luke a shower, laying in bed with him.

Later that night Mason called you like he always does, and you were happy to see his name shining on your screen.

“Hi baby” you whispered, but to your surprise he didn’t greet you back.

“How’s Luke?” Mason murmured, and you could sense the tiredness and loneliness in his voice. “Don’t you think you should bring him back home so we can get him to our doctor?”

“Yeah, that’s what I want to do. But I can’t leave my mum alone and Matt won’t answer the phone-”

But Mason had enough, and suddenly he lost his patience.

“And why, exactly, can’t you leave her alone, Y/N? Enlighten me, please. From what I can remember, she can do everything perfectly. She’s not sick, she’s not weak. She’s just using you”

Mason never liked your mother, much due to how she treats you, and you understand. It just hurts that you have so many good things to talk about his mother whilst yours is always giving him reasons to hate her.

“Mason… she’s my mother. Can we not talk about her like that?” you murmured, but you know he’s right.

On the other side, Mason did his best to not scream at you, something he swore he would never, even if it’s out of frustration.

“She’s your mother, yeah. And I’m your fucking husband. I know you never chose to have a narcissist as your mother, but you chose to marry me and I thought I would have an important spot in your life. I know family comes first but I thought that someday you’d start to prioritize the family you made”

You could feel how tired he was. How he needed you to understand his point.

“I’m trying, Mase” was the only thing you were capable of whispering.

“You say you are but you keep choosing her. You keep going when she calls even though you know she’s only going to hurt you. You keep choosing your mother over your husband and I don’t know if I can do this anymore”

“Mason…” your heart dropped. “Don’t say that”

“Do you have any idea of how much I miss my son? How much I’ve been missing my wife? It’s been a month, Y/N. And I feel like you’re not thinking about my feelings, at all”

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, it was supposed to be just a week” you tried to defend yourself. “I don’t know what’s going on or why Matt isn’t back yet. It has been hard for me too, yeah? I miss you so much and I’m sorry”

“Well I think you should set your priorities” he murmured before turning the call off on your face.

You instantly felt the tears forming. He hasn’t said it was over, but it was obviously a warning that it wasn’t over just yet.

With a sick Luke in one of your arms, you started to clean the room you had been staying in. Cleaning always helps you, and you let your cry reach out to you during the process, feeling overwhelmed and tired.

You wanted your home and your husband, but as a daughter you feel like you need to take care of your mother. Like you’re supposed to give her everything she’s been giving you your whole life.

After tidying the room you went downstairs to prepare the dinner, and whilst you mixed the sauce something snapped. What were you doing there?

You should be cooking for Mason, so he would have a proper meal after his nap. Luke should be sitting in his baby chair whilst you were humming happy songs. Not there, where your mother can cook her own dinner and clean her own house.

It wasn’t your fault that she couldn’t understand that you have your own family now.

When you set the table for dinner your mother wasn't home yet, and you ate with Luke’s little screams, trying to smile at him. She finally arrived an hour later, and whilst she entered the house you decided that you had enough.

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning” you told her whilst she closed the door. “Mason will face Chelsea and I need to be there. And Luke is sick, so I’m heading back home after the game to take him to his doctor in Manchester”

“What are you talking about? He looks fine”

“I’m his mother. I know when he’s not doing well” you snapped at her. “And don’t come to me saying you don’t wanna be alone. You’re not alone, are you? Because I spent the day here to be with you whilst you’re walking around the city or going to your friend’s house” you tried not to snap. “And getting drunk every Saturday even tho I tell you how much I hate it. We’re leaving tomorrow, whether you like it or not”

Not leaving her time to answer, you went upstairs to sleep a bit. When Luke finally slept you debated whether or not you should send a message to Mason letting him know you would go back home after the game.

Deciding not to disturb him any more and imagining that he was still upset with you, you laid with your son and tried to sleep, but the shooting thoughts wouldn’t let you.

What if Mason had enough? What if he doesn’t want you anymore, what if you are too late?

—

When you woke up, you took Luke in your arms and started to pack. Since you were supposed to stay only for a week you didn’t have much to organise, and soon you were ready to go.

Your plans were to drive to Stamford Bridge and see Mason after the game before heading to Manchester whilst he came back home with the team.

But as soon as you checked beneath the pillow and under the bed, you realised your phone wasn’t anywhere.

Taking Luke downstairs and looking everywhere you could, you tried to ask your mother.

“Have you seen my phone? It’s not where it should be”

“You should take care of your stuff, Y/N. I thought I taught you that your things are your responsibility” she told you with a flat look and you stared at her for a few seconds, in disbelief.

After hours of searching for it, you gave up. There was only an hour left before the game and since you only started to drive recently the idea of driving around without following the GPS terrified you, so you had to make a choice.

Plus, you were tired from searching for it and all you wanted was to eat something and watch the game with Luke.

Deciding to bath with your baby and cook dinner, you sat on the couch to see the game, your stomach churning with the need to be there.

A few minutes into the first half, your mother looked at you from up the stairs.

“I thought you were going back home today?” she teased you, making you frown.

You chose not to answer, paying attention to the game instead. When Mason was finally subbed on you pointed at him, bouncing Luke in your thigh.

“Look at dada, Luke. We’ll see dada soon”

“Dada” he babbled, making you gasp.

“Yeah, dada. It’s your dada” you poked his waist, the teas already forming. Luke couldn’t stop calling for dada once he said it for the first time, and he kept repeating it until the game was over.

You were incredibly sad by the result, knowing you should be at home when Mason gets there so you could hold him and scratch his scalp after his warm bath.

Deciding to sleep early, you waited for your mother to go to her bedroom and carefully brought your bags downstairs before laying with Luke and forcing yourself to sleep, determined to leave the next morning — even if you had to drive like the old ones, asking for instructions and following the signs.

On the other hand, Mason was desperate. He knew from the moment he turned the call off that he needed to apologise for how he talked to you.

But he was angry, stressed and frustrated. He wanted you there, supporting him. Cuddling him after his tiring games, listening to him when he needs to. He wants you there talking about your day, warming the bed, bringing Luke to him after a shower so you can change into your pyjamas.

He wants his family and he can’t cope with the fact they’re not with him.

Mason can’t believe you and Luke weren’t there watching his first goal, and scoring felt bittersweet. He wanted nothing more than to share this moment with you.

Since he met you, Mason knows how hard your mother is. Narcissist, dramatic, always trying to make you feel sorry for hurting her — when you were only setting boundaries.

And he also knows how hard had been for you, not finding the courage to break the circle and move on from her. But in all this time he never had to deal with this, you and his son so far away from him because of a woman who doesn’t even respect her own children.

When he went to bed a few hours after the call, Mason started to worry and he knows you were mad when you didn’t text him before bed, but at the same time he wanted to apologise for the way he talked he still meant everything he said, so he took a deep breath and choose to wait until the next day so he could talk to you properly.

His heart hurt knowing he was going to bed without telling you he loves you, something none of you ever did, but Mason was sure you’d figure it out after the game since you promised you would go, so he did his best to sleep and rest.

—

He looked everywhere. He asked everyone.

You just weren’t there.

When the game ended, Mason just wanted to bring you and his son and tell you he needed you home when he got there. He needed someone he could cry to, someone he could tell how overwhelming being back felt.

All he wanted was to survive the bus drive with all his teammates feeling sorry — for the loss and for him. And then lay in your arms so you could reassure him he’s doing well and that he makes you proud, whilst Luke’s little fingers tried to make him bald.

But they told him you weren’t in the United box and soon he found out you never entered the stadium Mason’s heart twisted.

First he felt a shameful feeling of anger. Why the fuck couldn’t you do this little thing for him? Relationships are supposed to be about making sacrifices and he watched you put yourself first for an entire month, always being understanding. The only thing he expected in return was for you to be there.

And you couldn’t? You say love him so much, but still couldn’t be there?

Then, when he finally showered and changed into some trainers before heading to the bus, Mason was able to check his phone just to see you hadn’t answered his pre-game messages, and quickly his anger turned into worry.

He called you five times, but every call went to voicemail. Mason pondered if you were ignoring him — or if something bad had happened.

Knowing you for four years, he doesn’t think you would give up on your relationship like that. But the way he hung up on you the night before, and how he accused you of not caring about him… he just can’t help but overthink.

With his heart pounding, Mason opened his Instagram app and searched for the only person who could help him, whilst he was forced to come back to Manchester when all he wanted to do was come to you.

—

The sound of the doorbell ringing woke you up, and you checked the hours just to see it was just past 2am. Luke instantly started to cry, and you took him in your arms before rushing downstairs and opening the door to the person you never thought you would see there.

“What are you doing here?” you frowned to your brother.

“Mason called me. Where’s that freak you call your mother?” he said harshly. “Why don’t you answer your phone? Your husband is losing his mind. He thinks something bad happened”

“I’ve been looking for my phone since yesterday morning, I don’t know, it’s vanished” you explained, following him. “Matt! What’s happening?”

“She’s been lying to you, Y/N. She’s probably hiding your phone right now. These are yours?” he pointed to the things you’ve packed, and you nodded. “I was never meant to come back. I told her I was leaving, cause I was tired of the manipulation. I was tired of her telling me my girlfriend doesn’t deserve me or telling me I owe everything I am to her. I owe her nothing”

You could feel the lump already forming in your throat, and you wanted nothing more than to call Mason. Matt silently put your bags in the front door, and soon his girlfriend got out of the car to take them.

“I realised something was wrong” you told him. “And Luke has been feeling sick so I packed, but then the morning I told her I’d go to the game and then head back home I couldn’t find my phone anymore. What Mason told you?”

“Not gonna lie to you, he’s feeling awful. I think he’s been crying, too. He told me you were supposed to go to the game tonight?” he asked, and you nodded, your heart dropping. “He said he tried to call you before and when you ignored him he thought you were still angry, but now that you didn’t show up at Stamford he thinks you either were kidnapped or decided to leave him. There’s only these bags?”

“Yeah” you quickly nodded. “She asked me to spend just a week”

“Compulsive liar” Matt snorted. “Let’s go, get in the car. I’ll take you to my home and we can go to yours in the morning”

You nodded again, but before you could obey him you mother showed up in the stairs.

“What’s going on here?” your mother’s voice made you jump as you were still two kids doing something she wouldn’t approve of.

“Please, don’t. Just go back to your room, I’m taking Y/N’s home”

“You can’t do that!” she raised her voice, trying to show a mother authority she doesn’t have over him anymore.

“What do you mean I can’t do that, you psycho? Leave us alone. You used me for years, I’m not letting you do the same with her”

“Don’t be stupid, Matthew. All I ever asked you was for you to take care of me like I took care of you your whole life. All I ever expected was you both to love me like I loved my childs” she gestured, and you could feel your heart hurting. She’s your mother and you should be so tough with her…

“Why can’t you understand that we have our own family now?” Matt snorted, his big body trying to hide you from your hysterical mother. “Y/N is a mother. She has a child to take care of, she can’t look after you when you’re capable of looking after yourself”

When you realised Luke was about to cry from all the noise, you started to rock him back and forth, trying to protect his ears.

“I am your family. All those years I left my life in standby to raise you. I gave you two food, a home, a warm bed to sleep” your mother shouted, gesturing.

“And as a mother this was exactly what the world expected from you. You did nothing but your obligations. No one asked you to be a mother, so you can’t point your fingers and act like we should be grateful for the simple things you gave us. The minimal” Matt kept his tone low. “But you lacked the essential. The respect for your kids. The love, acceptance. You only love yourself. Now you say we’re not returning everything you did for us but guess what: this is what you did for us. You reap what you sow. You can not raise a child thinking about what they can bring you in the future”

“Everything I’ve done, everything I say is because I care! But go on, make me the villain, take her thy stupid footballer” she turned to face you. “Go back to him and raise this stupid child. Just don’t come back running to mummy when he changes you for a prettier and hotter girl, leaving you with only his clone to remind you of what you’ve lost!”

It was unconscious, the way you left the safe space Matt had created for you and advanced in her direction. You never believed you were capable until it was done, the echo of your hand meeting her cheek spreading in the silent room.

“Talk about me as much as you want. But do never, ever again talk about my husband or my son. Is not our fucking fault dad couldn’t handle your behaviour anymore, and is not our fucking fault he left you for a prettier and hotter woman” you pointed a finger to her face. “I’m done with you. I’m done with you forever, and if cutting you from my life is what I need to do so I won’t be the wife and mother you were, then I’m doing it right now”

“C’mon, Y/N” Matt put a hand on your shoulder, slowly bringing you closer to him. “Let’s go home”

You checked Luke on your arms afraid your impulsive action had hurt him, whilst Matt took you outside.

“She still has my phone-” you realised before you could enter your car.

“Leave it behind, yeah? Mason can buy you a new one. Look at it as a new beginning” he squeezed your shoulders, and it felt like having a brother again.

In that moment you understood that this was what had happened to him, too. That this was the reason he never replied to you anymore.

When Matt left his mother’s house in an attempt to be free, he had to leave everything behind, including you.

You think you won’t ever really understand what it cost him to come back there, but he did it.

He could never leave his little sister behind.

—

You took Luke out from the baby seat before following Alice inside. She came back driving Matt’s car whilst he drove yours, so you hadn’t had the chance to talk to her.

Once inside, Matt put you in the biggest guest room of his house, trying his best to make you comfortable. You used the sheets and the pillows to make a fort around Luke, and went downstairs to talk to your brother after so long.

After making you all tea, Alice sat besides him and you genuinely smiled seeing how they clearly completed each other.

You started by explaining to them what she told you in the first place, and how she was trying to keep you there for more and more days every time another week ended. When you told about your fight with Mason, Matt was quick to reassure you that he knows Mase will understand you, but you were still feeling reckless and seeing your husband was the only thing you wanted.

“I tried to contact you” Matt told you shyly. “It’s been months since I left her house, maybe six?”

“Around Luke’s birth” you whispered.

“But I left my phone too. It was a choice I had to make. Since you don’t have an Instagram, I tried Mason’s but-”

“He’s too famous to see your message” you giggled.

“I think he unfollowed me when he thought we weren’t on speaking terms- when you thought we weren’t. He’s a good one, you know?”

“He is” you smiled, thinking about your boy.

“I’ll get the car ready for the trip” he murmured, suddenly looking awkward.

As soon as he left, Alice saw you were still processing your feelings and came to sit near you. After a few seconds in silence, she started to talk.

“You don’t have to love her just because she’s your mother” she told you, holding your hand. “Mothers aren’t saints, Y/N. It’s okay to dislike our mothers when they act bad, when they hurt you. It’s okay to even hate a mother that does no good to her kids”

“But she’s my blood” you told her the same you’ve always told your brother, but as a woman your age Alice understands your feelings and is delicate to answer you.

“That doesn’t mean anything. Do you see Debbie? Matt told me about her, and how much she cares about you. She’s your blood? No. But she’s been treating you better than your blood has” she ran hiii her fingers through your hair. “I know it’s hard to make this decision, but a mother that hurts and lies, a mother that tries to get in the middle of your marriage isn’t a good mother. Just think if you’d ever do to Luke any of the stuff she did to you”

When you looked up your brother was by the door, and you know he’s the only one who actually shares this controversial feeling with you.

“I wanna go home” you sniffed. “To Mason”

“We’ll take you there” Matt assured you, stretching his arms out to you. “But give me a hug first”

“I’m so sorry she got between us” you murmured after hugging him, resting your face on his shoulder.

“Me too. But see? We’re free now, princess. Your big brother is here”

—

When he opened the door for you early in the morning, Mason’s heart dropped. With Matt and his girlfriend waiting in the car, he was sure you were there to pick your stuff and leave.

“Mase?” you called him nervously, since he wouldn’t move or make any indication of hugging you.

“Are you leaving? I- I didn’t mean it you know, I didn’t mean to be rude with you I was just so tired and angry and I came home after training and you weren’t here and I got so pissed off” his voice was shaky and he didn’t stop talking to breath. “And then I thought we could solve things after the game but you weren’t at the game and I tried to call you so many times and I swear I wanted to go there and talk to you but the gaffer told me I was supposed to come back with the team”

You quickly entered the house so your brother wouldn’t be worried. The last thing you needed was him and Alice wanting to stay — you needed to talk with Mason alone, your family needed this time together.

You circled his waist with one arm, the other holding Luke between you two, and waited for him to hug your shoulders. When Mason calmed down you pulled away just so you could look at him.

“What’s going on?” you asked him, a hand going straight to his cheek. “Are you having panic attacks again?”

Mason shook his head, calmer now that you were inside the house and Matt’s car was gone. Luke stretched out his tiny arms to Mason and you instantly passed him to your husband.

“I thought- I saw Matt’s car parked and I thought you were here to take your stuff” he shyly admitted, his cheeks blushing.

“Oh baby, I would never leave you” you ran your fingers through his hair and your heart tightened when he hugged Luke like his life depended on this.

A lonely tear went down his cheek and you brushed it.

“We’re not going anywhere big boy, you can relax. I think you’re close to suffocating him” you giggled, your heart hurting at how tight he was holding Luke.

“Am I?” Mason’s eyes widened as he pulled his son away, to be sure he wasn’t hurting him.

“Sorry, I was just kidding” you laid your head on your husband’s shoulder. “We missed you so much. I’m so sorry, Mase”

When Luke laid his head on daddy’s other shoulder, your eyes watered.

Since you gave him birth, since he grew inside you even, you could never understand how someone could hurt their own child. You would die and kill for him, and you know Mason feels the same way.

Being a mother like yours turned out to be your biggest fear since you saw the first positive test. Now, each day he grows more you’re sure you could never.

You could never treat him like his opinions and wishes aren’t valid. You could never tell him he can’t simply answer you his point of view no matter what, even when you’re wrong. You could never put yourself first when your son depends on you.

“Believe me, I missed you more. The bed was always cold, every night, and the house is so quiet without Luke, the food doesn’t taste the same, there’s not a single drawing in the bathroom wall and everything looks so lifeless” his voice cracked, and you looked at him to see uncountable tears spilling down his face. “Ever again. You’re not leaving my side ever again”

You nodded, trying to reassure him and ease the panic you could see in his eyes. Hugging his waist, you peppered kisses to his jaw, feeling the salty water on your lips.

“We’re not going anywhere, baby. I swear”

Mason’s sobs caught Luke’s attention, and he looked at his dad with the prettiest face you’ve ever seen, full of confusion.

Your words weren’t enough to stop Mason’s breakdown once he was feeling safe to show you how much the last month affected him and his body started to shake, so you guided him to the couch and sat with your back against the arm so he could lay between your legs.

With Luke sitting on one of your legs and Mason’s head resting on the other, you let your husband cry.

“It’s ok, Mase” you scratched his scalp, trying to soothe him. Your heart physically hurt when he clinged to you, hugging your waist tighter. “I’m here now”

“Sorry” he whispered when you started to brush his tears.

“Don’t feel sorry for being hurt, Masey. You can cry to me whenever you need to, I’m here to protect you too”

“You, protecting me?” he giggled, and you smiled at the sound of it. He got up from your lap and gave you a shy smile, stretching his hands out for Luke who immediately tried to go to him.

“Yeah, it’s your turn to be taken care of” you shrugged, giving your baby boy to him.

“Oh so you’ll take care of me?” Mason gave you a smirk and you rolled your eyes playfully before remembering what you wanted to show him the most.

“Daddy is being a naughty boy, Luke. Tell him to be better, uh? Tell dad to behave”

“Da” Luke babbled, and Mason pinched his chubby cheeks.

“One month alone with mum and you already forgot that I’m your partner in crime?”

“Da-dada” he kept going, and you wish you could get Mason’s reaction tattooed, the way he confused eyes looked at you.

“What the fu-“

“Don’t curse” you giggled, covering his mouth, but Mason could hear the sad tone on your voice. “He said if for the first time last night, we were watching the game and I told him we would see dada soon. He can’t stop anymore I guess”

Mason kissed Luke’s cheek, laughing between sobs when he squirmed, giving little screams.

“You have training today?” you whispered, afraid of ruining the moment but Mason shook his head.

“I’ll call the gaffer to explain” he brushed his fingers through Luke’s face.

“I’ll run his bath then” you told your husband before kissing his head and quickly going upstairs, trying to give them some time alone.

In reality, you feel so bad for separating father and son for an entire month. Seeing Mason’s cry made it hit you how bad your actions hurt him, even intentionally.

Imagining how you would feel if it was the opposite, your heart physically hurt with guilt, how hard this month apart was for Mason and you could feel a few hot tears spilling down your face. Now, you can only hope he won’t hold any grudge against you, despite what you did.

Less than ten minutes later, Mason was entering your shared room and walking straight to the en-suite so he could find you.

“Babe? You can’t leave your boys alone, we don’t know how to take care of ourse- ei, what’s wrong?” he cupped your cheek, and just the warmth of his hand was enough to make you feel better.

“Nothing” you shook your head, drying your face with the back of your hand. “Can you take off his clothes?”

“We’ll talk about it once he’s sleeping” Mason kissed your forehead, squeezing your waist. You nodded, letting him go and undress Luke whilst you chose some toys for your son.

You put the toys in the bath, checking again to be sure the water wasn’t too hot and turning around to Mason.

“Can you bathe him?” you asked him and he instantly nodded, holding your waist before you could leave.

“Go bath in the guest bathroom if you need some time alone, yeah?” he caressed your chin, and your heart pounded even more with how gentle he could be with you even though you hurt him.

Since he seems to know you more than you know yourself, you obeyed. Taking what you’d need, you headed to the guest bathroom and took a warm shower.

You wanted to cry. You wanted to let it all go when Mason and Luke weren't around, but you couldn’t. There was just a whole in your chest, but no tears.

After washing your hair in an attempt to feel freshened and lightened, you wrapped yourself in your robe and came back to your room. Mason wasn’t there, so you imagine he was at Luke’s room putting him to sleep, and not wanting to get in the middle of their father and son time you changed in your pyjamas and tucked in bed.

Half an hour ater you still weren’t able to close your eyes, staring the wall. You’ve heard when your husband entered the room and changed from his trainers, wanting to lay down with you.

“You can go to training if you’re not too late, Mase” you told him softly, not wanting him to get in trouble.

“No way” was his only groaned response, and you sighed when Mason cuddled you seconds later, his arm circling your waist.

Your eyes instantly teared up.

“Go on” Mason kissed your shoulder. “You don’t need to hold it, it’s just us”

“I can’t believe she did this” you tried to tell him without crying, but with every little kiss on your shoulder you could feel the breakdown coming. “Lying would’ve been bad enough but hiding my phone? Not caring that Luke was feeling sick- oh we need to take him to Dr. Linn”

“I’ll take care of it. Keep going” he encouraged you, and you couldn’t understand how he was the one left behind for a month but still so worried about you.

“I don’t know why she wanted me there. The entire month, every day she had something bad to say about me or you, or even Luke. Always leaving to see her friends or get drunk, so in the end I was alone most of the time. She hates me and my family, but she still wanted to keep me around for some reason” your eyes were burning at this point, and Mason’s soft skin against yours made you feel safe enough to finally let the tears spill. “I’m so sorry you had to live an entire month without him”

His hug tightened a bit when you sobbed.

“It’s not your fault. And I lived an entire month without you too, you know? You were missed just as badly”

“It is my fault, Mason. You said it yourself, I chose her over my family and I’m really sorry about it. I want you to spend more time with him, make up for lost time”

Mason pulled away just enough so he could helo turn your body to face his, his hand going straight to cup your chin.

“Y/N, what’s that? I don’t wanna spend hours alone with Luke, even though I love him more than anything. I wanna make up for lost time with my family, not only with half of it. I was angry that night, yeah? I was tired and missing you and I was so pissed you weren’t here when I got back home, I just snapped”

“You had every right to” you murmured, his thumbs never stopping with caressing your face.

“And then the next morning you weren’t answering my calls and when the time came you weren’t at the game like you said you would and I was so scared you had given up on us. So during the night I couldn’t sleep and I realised… I know you, I know you wouldn’t deprive me of my son even though you didn’t want to talk to me yourself, so I panicked. I’m sorry I called Matt, he was my only option”

“Matt and I were good” you smiled at him, and the way his eyebrows raised made you giggle. “I could never give up on us, silly. You’re my everything. Not going to bed with you every night, not making your breakfast every morning… it was the worst month of my life”

“That’s why I gotta give you my attention too, babe. You’re my girl, and Luke knows how to share, you know? He’s not selfish”

“Well, I don’t think I deserve your attention. Look what you had to go through for an entire month” you groaned, but Mason just sighed before placing his forehead against yours.

“You were manipulated, by someone you love a lot. You were worried and wanted nothing more than to help her, and I understand that staying away from me was a consequence of what you needed to do in your head, even tho in reality you didn’t have to do anything. I don’t really like your mum but I love mine, and I know the feeling of being able to do anything for her” he held you tighter. “You don’t need to feel guilty about it”

“Mason, you can’t pretend it’s alright. I lost the most important game of the season. I lost your fucking goal. I should’ve been there to support you and then I should’ve been here to comfort you” you chocked, the guilty feeling eating you alive.

“Babe-”

“It’s not ok! And I’d feel better if you just admit it, let me apologise and forgive me” you tried to breath and calm down. “You lost the first time he called for you and it’s my fault”

“We’ll, I’m listening now. And he can’t stop, isn't it adorable? The tiny human we made. With so much love” he kissed your forehead. “I missed you so much I think I feel like making another one any time”

“Mason!” you gasped, feeling your cheeks getting warm.

“What? The day we made Luke was so hot. A mess, but incredibly hot” he closed his eyes, licking his lips and you had to look away with flaming cheeks. You know exactly the day you got pregnant since it happened in a month you and Mason only got to sleep together once. Mason laid on his back and helped you lay half of your body on top of his. “Fine, baby. Let me hear your apologies”

“I’m really sorry for missing your first goal. You have no idea how awful I feel, because I should be there to celebrate it with you, to scream loud with the fans, to show how proud I was. And I’m sorry I lost the most important game for you. I hope you know I would never do that on purpose, and we wanted to be there for you. But I watched on TV and I’m so proud of you. You did so well with the time you had, and I’m sorry about the general result. You were so pretty though”

“Was I?”

“I’m starting to understand the hair now” you giggled. “It filled my tummy with butterflies”

“Are you sure you don’t wanna make another baby? Because you’re sounding like you do” he teased. “You’re forgiven, princess. And I don’t wanna you beating yourself about it, yeah? I already told you, I understand what happened and how stuck you were. It’s your family, after all”

“No” you shook your head, clinging even more against him. “You are my family. You and Luke”

“And the babygirl we’re gonna make soon?”

“Stop” you groaned, burying your face in his bare chest. “I want another one too”

“Really?” he pouted, and you could never say no to him.

“We could try your girl or start the Mason Mount FC” you hummed, content when he kissed you.

“Perfect” he murmured, lips brushing yours softly. You stared into his eyes, smiling when he raised his eyebrows. “Wanna start trying now? Cause I honestly missed you so much-”

“Shut up” you giggled, relaxing in his embrace. Brushing your nose against his neck, you inhaled the after shave smell and focused on how soft his neck is.

After a few minutes appreciating his warmth, you allowed yourself to sleep deeply, finally in your home. Where you are loved for who you are, not for what you can offer. Where you are wanted and your presence is valid. Where you feel safe.

Not your perfect three store white house, no. Your home. Mason Mount.

#✧･ﾟ: *✧ tsimvkas — works #mason mount x you #mason mount #mason mount fanfic #mason mount fluff #mason mount angst #mason mount x reader #mason mount fics

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thesmutsideblog · 1 year

Text

Never Ever? - Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: After a you and your long term ex breakup, some truths about your sex life come to light at the BAU and the idea that you've never had an orgasm, does not fly with Spencer Reid.

Reader is AFAB, and the story is using she/her pronouns, mostly because this one is really self indulgent and loosely based on me being pissed off about my ex.

Content warnings: dumbification of Spencer Reid, simp Spencer, shitty ex boyfriend, self indulgent writing, no beta or proof reading, cursing, smut, sexual worship, porn with plot I guess.

I have never written in second person before so I can only apologise for the shit quality of this, I havent written smut since 2018 and it's unedited, there is going to be spelling issues it's the dyslexia I'm sorry xx

GIF by comeandjointhebigboys

Spencer is doing everything in his power to look like he is minding his business, mostly because he really is trying to not eavesdrop. He came over to make a cup of coffee because he got barely any sleep last night and he wants to keep focused. But with no case directly at hand, there was something else the team were paying attention to and it was impossible for Spencer to completely ignore it.

"So he just, broke up with you?" Emily asks, dumbfounded.

"Over the phone," you say tilting your mug towards yourself, choosing to stare down at the small remainder of your coffee rather than to make eye contact with your team members.

"What an asshole," JJ says, lacing her arms together, until she looks like a disapproving mother. "Did he say why?"

"He said, we were going different places, and it would be a disservice to the time we spent together to pretend to be happy and keep lying to eachother," you say, sighing and putting the mug down, choosing to accept this caring interrogation about your breakup as your fate for the next twenty minutes.

"He used those words?" Emily asks, still trying to grapple the concept that your boyfriend, who she had met on a few occasions and had some thoughts she kept to herself about, had broken up with you.

"He used those words but what he really meant was 'I want to start sleeping with my twenty year old coworker and you spend too much time at work, so I'm ending things,' but he won't have the decency to admit that, despite the fact he was sleeping with her before the week was out," you roll your eyes as Emily and JJ continue to voice their disgust, loudly across the bullpen. You catch Spencer's eye for a moment and give him a small sad smile across the room, he nods and then looks away.

The guilt is eating Spencer alive. It's not like he actually had anything to do with the end of your relationship, he actively kept himself far away from it and even discussing it with you as possible. But the facts still remained the same, he likes you. He has liked you since your first day at the BAU and his feelings have never faltered. But you have always been in that relationship since long before he met you, and he knew that he didn't stand a chance, and he wouldn't want to mess around with that anyway. But he was unable to disagree with Prentiss, his own feelings for you aside, the simple fact of the matter was you have always been well out of your exes league. You are beautiful, and intelligent and charismatic, and your ex thought he was those things but more often than not fell short.

It's not like he even wished that your relationship would end and could blame it on the unlikely event of magical intervention. But the sheer fact that he was undeniably happier that you were no longer dating a man you were once very much in love with, that was enough to have him feeling guilty. Which is one of the many reasons he is really trying to not get involved in this conversation. One of the many reasons he is trying to keep a distance.

"How long were you two together again, like three years?" JJ asks. You shake your head.

"High school sweethearts," you correct her, "it's been a lot longer than three years."

"And he broke up with you over the phone, for a co-worker?" Emily emphasis each word in the sentence as she slowly sounds them out.

"He denies the last part but, yes," you nod.

"What are you beautiful ladies being so loud about?" Derek asks, approaching the three of you with some files in hand.

"The fact that men never fail to both disappoint and astound me," Emily states looking up at Derek from her seat, "no offence."

"None taken, but a little context wouldn't go a miss," he says looking at each of you in turn.

"My ex is a pig," you explain as nonchalantly as you can manage. You're trying really hard to be very collected about this. You've had a few days to process the breakup and you knew it was coming, even if you won't admit that to yourself. But being broken up with hurts, whether you see it coming or not. He was the only person you ever really dated, and having spent so much of your life with him this was a big adjustment. But deep down you weren't exactly mad about the situation, as much as it made you feel a lot better to complain about it. Things had not been right between the two of you for quite some time, and you find yourself almost relieved that it's over. But that still gave him no right to be as much of an asshole about it all as he has been.

"So he is the only guy you've ever really dated then, huh?" Emily asks. You give her a look as the thought crosses through her mind. "Wait, does that mean?"

"We started dating when we were barely more than kids Emily," you defend.

"So it's just been that guy, that guy?" Emily is struggling to be even the smallest part composed. "What is wrong with men?"

"You need some strange," Derek says casually.

"Morgan," JJ scolds him but Emily is slowly nodding her head. "Emily..."

"Best way to get over someone," Emily points out.

"Wow, I am not getting under anyone," you state, holding up your hands.

"Look, I understand the appeal of someone you've been with for a long time, they know you, they know what you like," Derek leans back on the table, "so new is risky, and some people really don't have a clue what they're doing I'll admit," he chuckles, "but trust me the longer you leave it-" Derek knows he isn't crossing a boundary, you and him have had plenty of conversations, but as soon as you give him the look to stop talking, he stops.

"I appreciate your concern but sex, is really not at the top of my priority list," you say.

"Please don't let a guy like that ruin it for you," Emily is staring up at the ceiling all types of distressed at the idea of your ex and his general existence.

"I don't think you need to worry about him ruining anything for me, more like just wasting my time," you say before realising that may be revealing too much. All three of them look at you instantly. "Do not read into that."

"Disinterest," Emily states looking you up and down. "And no immediate desire to release that usually comes with a breakup."

"We're not really doing this, are we?" JJ asks looking between the two profilers concerned.

"She's been distant the last few months, talking less and less about him, so the breakup wasn't unexpected, which means the sexlife probably wasn't up to scratch at the time," Derek adds.

"Oh you guys are doing this," JJ gives you an apologetic look as they start rattling off assumptions.

You try your best to ignore them until Derek says something which does tiptoe over the line- by a mile. "Pretty boy, what are the statistics on post breakup sex?" He is half joking but it pulls Spencer directly into a conversation he had been trying to avoid.

Spencer knows the answer, and that's obvious, but answering will only encourage them to get him involved in the conversation. But not answering is suspicious and could cause worse problems. He pushes his thumb into the centre of his palm as he speaks. "27% of adults report having sex with an ex within a two-year period," Spencer states knowing that's not what Derek meant but hoping he could get away with it.

"No, I mean rebound sex," Derek corrects.

"Studies show that thirty-five percent of those who are broken up with have sex to get over their ex, and twenty-five percent as a form of revenge," Spencer says giving in and stepping closer to the group.

"Look sixty five percent of rebound relationships fail within six months," you say. That's a safe thing to say you believe, as you know the team would likely assign that research as an attempt to make an educated guess how long the fling with the coworker would last. But Spencer knows better. He cannot help but wonder if that's what has been making you act differently the last few months. If you saw the end in sight and wondered what that means for you when it's over.

"You're not looking for a relationship though, you're just looking for some fun," JJ points out.

"You do remember how to have fun, don't you beautiful," Derek asks giving you a wink.

"Yeah," you say brushing him off.

"Do you?" Derek asks, unconvinced.

"I told you, I'm not interested in going out and getting laid, it's not worth the energy," you say.

"When was the last time you had an orgasm?" Emily asks. Spencer chokes on his coffee.

"Emily!" JJ chastises her.

"Someone had to ask," Emily says.

"No one had to," you tell her.

"Come on, six months?" Emily asks. "A year?"

"Emily," JJ warns.

"Shit..." Derek whispers and you feel his gaze on you intensifying. He has you all figured out.

"What?" Spencer asks, not meaning to.

Derek is keeping his eyes on you and you cannot meet his eye. "Tell me I'm wrong pretty girl," Derek says, wanting himself to be wrong.

"I... I don't know... You're a profiler, how am I supposed to lie to you?" You huff.

"Are you kidding me?" Derek asks.

"Derek you're not helping," you state.

"Sorry," he says, "I just don't understand how that can be the case."

"You said it yourself, some people really don't have a clue what they're doing," you say.

"So you've never?" Emily asks cottoning on.

"Can we please stop talking about this," you say.

Spencer's brain is ticking over trying to read between the lines and when it clicks he is struck with a similar dumbfounding as Morgan. How? How?

He cannot help but have one clear thought scrambling around his brain at a million miles per hour. If he had ever had the chance, he wouldn't have wanted anything more than to make sure you felt good. To know he had made you feel good.

How inconsiderate could your ex be? How little attention must he have been playing to not even notice that you were not getting what he was out of it? How had he never cared to make that better?

And why did you not feel cheated by that fact?

"I'm not eavesdropping," Garcia defends bringing Spencer out of his head and back into the room.

"Okay why don't we just fax everyone the stats on my sex life," you groan, resting your head in your hands.

"I'm just saying," Garcia tries.

"I appreciate all of the unnecessary concern," you say, "but my sex life isn't a BAU case." Emily smiles as she goes to speak but you catch her thought right before she opens her mouth. "And it's no ones problem to solve either."

"It's a little tragic," JJ confesses.

"JJ," you're surprised, JJ is normally the one you can count on to get the others back on track but she just shrugs.

"Let's leave it be, Garcia do we have a case," Spencer is talking with his hands even more than normal and you cannot help but notice. He is trying to come to your rescue and you appreciate that. You appreciate everything Spencer does.

"Maybe," Garcia explains, waving her tablet at the group. "Hotch wants us in the conference room, five minutes ago."

You're quick to get out of your seat and away from the grilling you are receiving from the team and everyone else is quick behind you. Hotch and Rossi are at the desk when you all enter.

Hotch frowns. "You took a while," he notes.

"Discussing the breakup?" Rossi asks, looking you up and down.

"I dont even want to know what has given that away," you admit taking a seat. Hotch nods a half apology which you silently shrug off in return.

You were trying your best to pay attention, giving Hotch the respect he deserves, but the case he was talking about didnt feel like it required the BAU's involvement and Emily is quick to voice that opinion. You managed to register a few words about consulting and favours, but nothing is really sinking in, not when you can feel Spencer's gaze on you as hot as a fever.

You raise your eyes to meet his and they dart away. You think back, and it occurs to you that maybe conversations about your sex life or anyone of the teams sex lives for that matter wasnt exactly what Spencer signed up for. You feel a little guilty, knowing you kind of indulged the others and let him get pulled into the conversation even if that wasnt your intention.

You catch him looking at you again but he doesnt see you looking back, it's like he is trapped in a thought, and in this moment you've never seen Spencer look so without a clue.

"Reid?" Hotch asks, repeating the question.

Spencer looks to Hotch, and he buffers. You know he knows the answer to the question, you know he always knows, but his brain seems to have frozen up on him. "I... sorry what?"

"This is statistics kid," Derek says, "are you sick or something?"

Emily gently pokes Spencers shoulder. "Maybe he is getting a software update," she jokes.

You lean forward and give Hotch the answer he is looking for, remembering from a conversation you and Spencer had a few weeks back about Ohio. Hotch gives a side eye to Rossi before continuing.

You look back at Spencer and he is watching you again, you offer him a small smile and he returns it. You've always been better at reading Spencer than most members of the team but you don't recognize this behaviour at all.

"Are you okay?" You ask him as you both make your way down the steps of the BAU.

"Of course, why do you ask?"

"You blanked back there, Spence, pretty hard," you say as gently as you can, "I havent seen you like that since..."

"Since when?" Spencer looks curious, and softer somehow.

"Since we worked that case in Illinois, with the models, you took one look at that girl Annie Grant was it, and your IQ dropped like a hundred points," you laugh gently.

"She was pretty," Spencer confesses.

"I think Morgan got her number," you recall.

"He did," Spencer agrees.

"So, what is it? Because it's not a pretty girl in lounge wear," you say.

"You dont know that for sure," you can tell he is trying to joke around the subject, and normally youd find that cute. Cute in the kind of way you havent been able to admit to yourself before. Because having a crush on a coworker is not convenient at the best of times.

"Okay, Dr Reid, keep your secrets," you give him gentle shove and his smile is disarming, soft and so happy to just be involved. "Got any fun evening plans?"

"There's this new study into cognitive dissonance in specific trauma patterns I have been meaning to read," he offers. You bite back a chuckle.

"You've got a date with science," you nod to yourself, "of course you do."

He looks around, thinking for a moment. "Are you going to walk?" He asks.

"I usually do," you admit, "it's only a few blocks after all."

"Can I," he pauses, "can I walk you?"

"You want to walk me home?" You ask, a little suprised at the offer.

"If that's okay, the study can wait," he says. There is a look in his eyes you can't quite pinpoint, somewhere between pleading and hopeful. You nod.

"I'd love that Spence."

The distance to your apartment door had never felt so short, and you hadn't realised until now quite how much you enjoyed the moments when you were with Spencer, and no one else was watching. Maybe because he paid less attention to making sure no one noticed him watching you, and he just keeps watching.

Spencer looks at his feet as you fumble with your keys, he has no idea what he is doing. He didn't think any of this through, he just kept thinking about you, and what you deserved and what you should've always been given and now he is stood at the doorstep of your place with no plan, no idea of what compelled him to think any of this was a good idea and no idea of what to do next.

You smile at him, and bite your lower lip just a small bit, the look is so demure that Spencer wonders if he imagined the entire conversation in the bullpen, wondering if maybe he was really so wrapped up in these months of conflicted feelings for you that he managed to lapse from reality so badly that he got himself here.

"Do you want to come in for coffee?" You offer and his heart damn near stops in his chest.

"Coffee is never coffee kid," Derek's voice rings in his head. "It's an invitation."

"Got decaf?" Spencer asks, and you laugh.

"Like anyone who works at the BAU knows what decaf is," you open the door wide and walk through. "You coming?"

He doesn't answer but follows you, closing the door behind him. Your apartment isn't a mess but it's clear things have been moved around since your breakup, there is clear empty spaces where things once collected dust, like so many things once filled a place and vanished. You weren't dwelling on the relationship, because there wasn't a point. You had loved and you had lost, and you knew it went like that sometimes.

"You better not be profiling me Dr Reid," you quip as you catch him looking around.

"I wouldn't dare," he says.

"So, are you going to explain why you're being so sheepish?" You ask, reaching for a mug, to actually make coffee.

"I'm being sheepish?" he asks. He had hoped he was hiding it better.

"Nervous at the very least," you say putting the kettle on. He says nothing and you sigh. "Did we make you uncomfortable earlier?"

"What?" Spencer asks, caught off guard by the question.

"Talking about my ex," you offer up. "I know that sort of gossip isn't exactly for everyone-,"

"No," he is quick to defend, "that's not what's bothering me."

You smirk and he sees the trap you laid for him that he walked right into. "So something is bothering you pretty boy," Morgan's nickname for him falls from your lips and it sounds so different. It burns every nerve ending, each fibre of his being and he forgets how to speak for a moment too long. "Spence?"

"I," he brings himself back.

"I don't mean to pry, you don't have to tell me anything," you explain quickly.

"How was your ex such an idiot?" he asks outright. You laugh, it's short and shallow because you're not expecting anything close to that from Spencer.

"What?" It's your turn to feel dumb now as you spiral trying to process what Spencer is suggesting. That the conversation had gotten to him, but not in the way you'd thought. His problem hadn't been with the topic but the content, the confession. The kettle brings itself to a boil but you're interest is elsewhere now.

"I don't mean to speak out of place here, but if I were him there are so many things I would've done differently," he fidgets with his tie but doesn't stop. This confession is coming out now or not at all and he wants it finished. He needs it finished. He does not want blurred lines. Not between the two of you. "Not even touching the subject of how your relationship ended. I wouldn't have left you in the rain last October, I wouldn't have held all the things I knew about you when we met as reasons to run years after I agreed to love you regardless. I wouldn't have let you go to work angry all those times. I wouldn't have lied about plans. I wouldn't have let you go to sleep sad or angry, and be gone in the morning. I wouldn't have left you wanting, for anything. Because if I was him I would understand what a beautiful rarity it is to find someone who does what you do, with your compassion and determination and dedication and is still kind, still hopeful, even when things are dark. There are not a lot of things I don't know much about, and maybe relationships, and romance and sex are in that limited list, and maybe he would argue that hypotheticals hold no ground when your experience is as limited as mine, but I frankly don't care what his opinion would be. Because he didn't see you for what you are and that means his thoughts are of no value to me. I don't tell you this because I am expecting you to say anything, it's just burning me up that you weren't treated, hell worshiped, in the way you deserved and I had to tell you that I can't think of anything more wrong." He steps back and you're still catching your breath. "I, I am sorry I shouldn't have... I will see you at work."

He turns and strides to the door, and your breath heaves in and out of your chest and you wonder if you can find your voice before his hand finds purchase on your doors lock. "Spencer," you breathe out. He pauses, hand hovering over the door handle.

"Yes?" his voice is so quiet, and he doesn't turn to look at you.

"Please don't leave," the request falls from your lips and Spencer has never felt more of a need to do something than to do anything you ask of him in this moment. But his doubt still hangs gently in the space between the two of you.

"What?" he asks again, searching in the word to find something to hold onto, looking for some guidance or instructions he missed. He didn't have a plan, and he doesn't know what to do with this.

"Please," you say again, voice sturdier now as you start to close the distance between the two of you, "Spence," his breath hitches as you place a hand gently on his shoulder, encouraging him to turn back to you, and he does, "don't leave."

His eyes stare into yours and you swear you feel all the months of unsaid things, of quiet wanting, of stolen thoughts in weak moments, bursting at the seams. You had told yourself in another world, another life time, had you met Spencer Reid and the timing had been different, if you had been different, he would've been everything. You told yourself from that first day that those brown eyes may plead into you with every moment you meet them but it was never going to be the right time.

His eyes stare into yours and he feels the weight of all the things he long tired to bury, crawling their way up from the depths and pushing against his skin, desperate to get out. Desperate to be known. Desperate to correct the wrongs and do right by you. Desperate.

His hand hovers touch's length away, scared to close the distance, scared to make the move, to change everything. You both know in this moment, that all it takes is one touch and you're going over the cliff.

This is a road you do not turn back from.

You whisper one last time, like a prayer, "Spence," and in a blink gravity turns back on, and everything blooms in bright technicolour.

It unfolds in a rush, his hand to your waist, pulling you that much closer, both of your hands gripping to the fabric of his shirt as he pulls you up to him, other hand moving gently under your chin to guide the tilt of your head. His lips crash onto yours and there's a hunger you've never seen in him, and a hunger you've never known inside yourself.

There's a gentleness, a caution in his desperation, in his need, one that you don't have in your own. He keeps kissing you and you back up, footing not very careful as you tighten your grip on his shirt. Your back finds support against the edge of your counter and you find yourself letting on of the hands slip from the fabric of his button down to tug at his tie, to keep him closer at first, and then in an attempt to remove it entirely.

He pulls back for a moment, not to catch breath as either of you would be happy to drown in this moment, but his eyes are scanning you, like he is looking for something else, something missing.

You pause, slowly tugging the tie from his collar and letting it fall to your floor. "Spencer?" you ask.

He looks lost as he breathes in. "I don't know what I am doing," he says.

"You're doing great is what you're doing," you say, not looking away.

"Is this okay?" he finally asks. Your heart starts running away from you as you try to remember to breathe.

"This is more than okay," you assure him, "please Spencer, don't stop kissing me."

That's all he needs to hear and his lips are back on yours and the kisses are feverish and starved and he presses his hands into your hips and the gentle moan that leaves your lips sends Spencer's mind spinning.

He pulls his lips from yours and starts kissing a trail down to your neck, you lean more into the support of the counter top and let a hand find it's way into a tangle of his brown hair.

His tongue against your skin, the gentle brush of teeth on that spot that makes the sound from before seem like a draft of a masterpiece. Spencer knows that now he has heard you, voice like honey, moan trembling from your lips, nails dug into his scalp gently tugging on his hair, barely able to keep your eyes open yet again your breathing steady, no sound will ever compare.

In the the times he had let himself think about you, imagine all the things, let his fantasies and dreams run away with him, he had never come close to this moment. How your fingers shake as you start to unbutton his shirt, needing to do something, needing something.

Needing him.

And you can feel his need in return, in the way he holds onto you, on the way he is listening to your body, hearing every response, feeling every movement, determined to do this right.

He feels the way you press your tights together, tight against the counter, the need for something more radiating off of you, and you don't give time for the doubt to creep in. "We should," you breathe out as you feel the blood rushing through you, knowing that there will be marks from where he is kissing you that you won't be able to hide tomorrow, not that you want to, "move this to the bedroom."

"Is now a bad time to point out that I have mostly just a conceptual understanding of what we are about to do?" Spencer asks between kisses.

"I think you're worrying too much, because if you're basing this on theory," you take his hand leading him towards your room, "so far you're giving nothing but hard evidence."

You let your own innuendo slide as you both fall back onto your bed, he looks down as he leans over you, and there's a softness, a patience in this moment, as he needs to soak it all in.

You reach up and continue to undo the buttons on his shirt until they are completely undone, and he watches you as you do, you give the fabric a gentle tug and he catches on, slipping the rest of the shirt and the jacket off and letting it fall back somewhere out of mind. You trace a hand gently up his arm and he leans down to kiss you again, your lips, your jaw, your neck.

He runs a thumb over the deep red mark he has left and you feel the fever rising again. You need out of these clothes, you need more.

You start to undo your own shirt buttons and as each button comes undone Spencer follows the trail of exposed skin and leaves hot kisses on each new place.

You can feel the hard outline of his cock against your thigh as you reach to unzip the side of your skirt. The nervousness is still fluttering in Spencer's face as he helps you slip out of it. His fingertips brushing over exposed skin, his hand creeping up the inside of your thigh and you buck up gently at the touch.

His lips trace kisses up your torso to your chest and like this, each kiss so intoxicating, each touch so electrifying, his hand inching further and further up your thigh, as his lips dance over the skin around the fabric of your bra there is nothing he could ask of you that you would not do.

Sex may never have been perfect before, but you'd always thought it was at least decent, passing, respectable. But this build up with Spencer, his hands on your skin, his lips leaving evidence on your body that he has been here, this was more than you'd ever felt. And he hadn't even really touched you yet.

You reach to undo his trousers, eager to get him in less clothing but he pulls back, out of your reach. "Not yet," he whispers against your skin, "you start doing that and this will be over way too soon." He brings his lips to yours again, stealing a deep kiss as he unclasps your bra. "And this is about you, all about you," he is mumbling again, almost incoherent against you. He is determined, his mind is focused on you and your pleasure and what you deserve.

You don't think you've ever wanted anything as much as you want this.

His thumb brushes against the your clothed skin, and sparks shoot through your body, nails digging into his shoulder as you gasp at the contact.

He nudges closer, his forehead pressed to yours, and you look at him. Spencer, your colleague, your friend. Spencer who never forgets your coffee order. Spencer who stayed all night to help with paperwork because you lost a bet. Spencer who has accompanied you to every movie you've ever asked him to. Spencer who bought an extra ticket to every convention just in case you would want to come.

"Please," you plead, like you need to, as if it was possible that he wouldn't do anything for you in this moment. As if you even needed to ask.

He kisses you, pulling you up and towards him, breathing you in as his hand finds its way between the elastic of your underwear and your skin.

Your nerves are as quick to respond to his touch as fire to a accelerant. Every movement makes you wonder if Spencer was given some map of your body that you didn't know existed, a guide to movement and pressure and timing that couldn't be more perfect.

You are nodding at his movements, keening at every increase of pace, every finger curl, every swipe of his thumb. Your body shuddering in anticipation and a pleasure you never knew courses through you.

Spencer is leaving compliments with every kiss across your body, so eager to please, so desperate to worship. When he hits the spot, your body gives you away at alarming speed, you buck, moving your arms to prop yourself up on elbows, leaning into him, into the movements, rutting against him. "Fuck," you manage in the haze.

Spencer responds to this approval with dedication and vigour and then you feel it, that hot white coil of pleasure pulling at you, like a tight chord. "Shit," you start breathing heavier, faster, "shit, shit."

"You're so incredibly beautiful," you hear Spencer whisper. You can't keep your eyes open as your knees begin to shake.

"Spencer," you whimper, not for any reason but to say his name. The need to say his name over and over, and over as the chord pulls tight and finally snaps.

The pleasure explodes through you, every nerve tingling, like fireworks cascading through you. You shake, riding the high through and fall back onto the bed, slumped with a laboured breath.

Spencer moves back up to be level with you, gently brushes some stray hairs from your face and he smiles down at you. "That is what it's supposed to feel like?" You ask.

If this was all he could have for the rest of his life, Spencer would be a happy man. He plants a kiss on your forehead, and that look of devotion has not left his eyes.

But he has been filled with a new sense of purpose, like he was made for this. For you.

He doesn't have time to debate internally if your ex was purely just that poor at what he did or if it feeling so easy, coming so naturally to him was something else entirely. He didn't really care which it was, maybe both. Right now all he cared about was making up for lost time, lost opportunities, all your disappointment.

He kisses you again and the force of it is more knowing, more sure, it's hot and messy and every moment it feels like you need to be closer, deeper, more entwined. The whole time he keeps his hand in your underwear, thumb running in soft, intensely accurate circles as his fingers do most of the work.

It crosses your mind that maybe it should be almost embarrassing that he is making it so easy. It should be embarrassing that Spencer barely needed any time to bring that second orgasm to precipice. It should be embarrassing that you're convinced this man could make you come by the way he kisses you alone, but you're not embarrassed. Not because you've never felt the pleasure like this before, not because you think pleasure it never something to be embarrassed about and not because after everything you deserve this. But because it's Spencer Reid, and everything with him has always felt like it is exactly as it should be, and him making you feel this way, is no exception.

He holds you in the kiss as your second orgasm pulses through you, just as intense as the first one, he feels you shake as it floods you. A moan escaping into the kiss, from your mouth to his and he groans against your lips.

He is so focused on you that he isn't paying any attention to how this is effecting him, how hard he is against you. How desperate he is for you. His need for your pleasure overtaking any need of his own.

You know if left to his own devices Spencer would stay as the two of you are, skin pressed to skin, lips on yours, trying to write years worth of wrongs in one night. But you do not want to give into exhaustion before you have let him ruin your expectations in all the ways you know.

He moves from your lips to your neck and before you can process much of his plans you feel the kisses trailing your hipbone, and with the third orgasm approaching you can see where his mind has wondered to. You lean forward, gasping in pleasure, but determined to get his attention, you place a hand on the side of his face, tilting up his chin to meet your eyes. "Wait," is all you manage to moan out before the pleasure tears into you, your head falls back and you grab a fistful of sheet, trying to keep yourself up through the pleasure.

Spencer does as you ask and waits until you manage to gather your words, eyes on you. "Please," you try. He runs his eyes over your body trying to understand your request.

You reach down, pulling once again at the edge of his trousers, fumbling to undo them, to get him out of them. You've never known Spencer to be so slow to catch on, but he is practically drunk on you.

"Oh," he manages. "Oh."

Before he can start to explain all the reasons he doesn't think that's important right now you look up at him with those eyes so pleading. "Please," you whisper again.

And he is putty in your hand, happy to do anything you ask of him, he nods and you finish undoing his trousers and push them down, he finishes discarding them.

Now it's your fingertips against his skin and he holds his breath as you move for his boxers. "Is this okay?" you ask quietly.

"You're everything I have ever wanted," the honey leaves his lips and you kiss him, his lips focused on you as you help him out of his boxers and pull him down and close.

"I need you," you whisper. "Right now, I need you."

"I am yours," he responds.

You keep your fingers threaded in his hair, and you tug a little harder as you become overwhelmed with him. "Fuck," Spencer's voice shudders in pleasure and you understand his desperation to please you instantly, because you want nothing more than to give him everything.

Everything becomes a mixture of moans and names, lips pressed to skin, and fabric scrunched with every thrust. You kiss Spencer's neck, finding his sweet spot with a similar precision to which he found yours. Leaving a collection of marks on his neck before her buries his face into yours, repeating your name over and over, becoming more and more wanting. His neediness matching your own and as he digs his fingers into your hips that now familiar feeling starts to rush you.

"Spencer, I am going to cum again," you whisper. Spencer cannot form words, he just keeps kissing, sucking, digging at your skin, even now he isn't close enough to you. "Fuck!" You scream out and the pleasure of your orgasm is almost too much for Spencer.

"Fuck, I," Spencer's brain is doing flips trying to figure out what to do, what he is supposed to do. "I am going to."

"Please," you beg in his ear.

"I should, I haven't," he is trying to piece the words together but they're not coming. You know what is trying to say, what is cannot find the words to ask.

"Please stay with me," you say, nudging his nose with your own, "please."

Your gentle request is his breaking point and he crashes his lips back onto yours as his own orgasm comes to fruition.

He collapses down next to you, both catching your breath. "Fuck," you repeat, for what might be the millionth time, as you long lost count.

You cannot help it, you let out a little laugh and Spencer glances at you, a smile breaking out on his face. "For the record, I hadn't planned that," he says.

"For the record, I really planned on drinking my coffee."

"I can make you a coffee," Spencer offers, turning to his side.

"We should, get cleaned up first," you smile.

"Then coffee?"

"Then coffee."

#spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid smut #smut #smut fanfic #no beta we die like jason gideon #reader x spencer reid #bau fanfic #bau smut #matthew gray gubler #fanfic #x reader #bau #criminal minds fic

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hellishjoel · 8 months

Text

burning desire

10.3k // pairing:dbf/neighbor!joel x f!reader

Series Masterlist l Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

pt. 1 pt. 2 pt. 3

summary: An argument with your mother before family dinner leaves Joel worried about you. He sneaks you away to grab a drink and talk about what’s on your mind.

warnings: MA 18+ (minors DNI), no outbreak, dbf/neighbor!joel, soft-hot-protective!joel, rocky mother-daughter relationship (this one ain't for the weak - mommy issues galore) & discussions of verbal fighting, slight clues of abandonment issues, smut, swearing, age gap (reader is in her early 20s, Joel in his 40s), pet names, praise!kink activated, unprotected p in v (yes finally, the edging is over), mentions of birth control, slight cockwarming if you squint, slight degradation kink

A/N: I crave three things after writing this chapter: Joel, Joel Miller, Joel fucking Miller. Also, I’m almost done with The Last of Us Part 1 :(( sad that it’s ending, but it’s been so much fun to play! Enjoy this chapter <3

Your parents make good on their invitation and ask Joel over for dinner. A steak dinner, to be exact. Paired with wine, mashed potatoes, green beans, and a pie your parents picked up from the local bakery in town.

You sort of hope Joel pulls out his long list of excuses to evade any awkwardness.

Sorry, can’t tonight. I’m finishin’ up somethin’ for work. Can’t wait another day.

Or,

Hey, maybe another night. Not feelin’ too hot.

When in reality, it’s more like,

I can’t come over for dinner tonight because I might bend your daughter over my truck if I see her again.

As active as you and Joel have been, you have yet to hit a home run in lewd baseball terms. In fact, all the bases in your and Joel’s game were totally screwed up. You hit third base before you hit first, and you weren’t even sure if there was a second base. It was all just so confusing now.

But you wanted the home run, you wanted Joel, you desired him in that light. You wondered if he was ready for it.

Screwed over by your father asking Joel over for dinner and screwed over by Joel agreeing, you had no other choice but to sit through it and act like everything was normal.

And everything was normal for the first half of the day before you and your mother got into it.

The argument was recycled. You wished she would come up with better material. But it always came down to what you wanted to do after this summer since you recently graduated. And that was an ongoing war.

After two door slams, your mother retreating to her bunker, and you finding shelter in the bathroom, you’d say today’s battle was over.

You sit on the floor, bare feet touching cold tile. In a way, it soothes your shaky body.

No matter how old you get, this feeling never seems to waver with its intensity. The feeling that no one’s listening, no matter how hard you scream for them to hear you. Regardless of how often you have these conversations, you become a small child again, being scolded and told that what you thought and wanted wasn’t right.

You managed to collect your journal expertly hidden in your bedroom before fleeing to the safety of the bathroom. You flip open the pages with teary eyes.

You wish you didn’t have to admit that this was your safe space. On the bathroom floor, back flushed against the dark wood door as you closed your eyes and tried to calm your breathing.

June 17th 2:28 P.M.

Mom started a fight with me about not traveling again. She says it’s crucial for me to start my career immediately. I don’t even know what I want to be yet.

You have to pause to blink back tears. You wish you had your life figured out like it felt everyone else did.

Why does she have to care so much that I want to leave for a little bit? It’s not like it’s forever. There’s so much more out there. I’ve studied miscellaneous classes for four years and want a break. Why do we always have to have this conversation over and over again? She always asks how I will take care of student loans and bills. I have repeatedly told her that I’ve been saving up for a while to do this. She keeps saying she wants what’s best for me and doesn’t want me to start my career too late. She says it’s hard to let me go.

I love her, and I appreciate her support through school, but school is what taught me about independence as well as academics. I want to live my life and have experiences you can only get by leaving home for a little bit. Maybe then I’ll better understand what I want for my future.

Your writing pauses, and you stare straight ahead at the beige wall, blurry eyes reading another cheesy sign. Bathroom - Open 24 Hours - Seat Yourself.

You decide to spare a moment of your mother’s casualties and pencil in something else that’s been recently stirring.

I’ve been seeing Joel Miller casually since the start of this summer. I can’t believe I’m even writing this. It’s weird -- but in a way, it’s also not? He’s older by like a mile, but he’s familiar, comfortable. Easy to talk to. It doesn’t feel like he’s judging me. I’m not trying to read too much into it, but this summer sucks less because of Joel. Whether he knows it or not.

---

You and your mother work around each other while setting up dinner in the backyard garden. She steps back inside to grab more wine glasses.

You’ve put on a nice summer dress. The hem lands somewhere on your thighs and flows with the breeze. After sobbing on the cold bathroom tile for an hour, you don't feel very pretty, but eating outside and soaking up some fresh air might make you feel better.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

Joel Miller was the largest, broadest, lumberjack-est man you had ever met, but he moved as quietly as a mouse. Your eyes blink a few times as you haphazardly set down the bowl of mashed potatoes on the circular table.

“Hi.”

Your voice is raw and red, softer than usual. Joel seems to instantly take notice. You see it in the way his eyes soften. He moves a little closer, hands resting on the back of one of the white outdoor dining chairs.

Your face probably reads more panicky than intended. He picks up on your faulty mood and assumes the worst.

“Do they.. Do they know?” He asks, eyebrows knitted with a deep furrow in between.

Your eyes go doe-ish, shaking your head and occupying your hands with a spare cloth napkin.

“What? No. Why would you think that?”

He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t have to. He takes one long look over your being and you feel it in the space between you.

Somethin’s wrong.

Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine, Joel.

He tilts his head, eyes narrowing on you more.

Suddenly, you felt exposed. Like someone had ripped the curtain open on you. No one had ever seen right through you like this before. It was unsettling, but god, you just wanted to lean right into it.

If your parents weren’t just inside, you’d walk right into his front and curl your head in his chest just under the hook of his chin. You’d close your eyes and wrap your small arms around his waist.

He’d encircle you in his big, protective arms and shield you from the pain you’ve felt today. You’d listen to his heart thrumming against his chest, using the rhythm to try and slow down your breathing while he whispers to you in his sweet southern drawl.

S’alright, sweetheart. Everything’s gonna be okay. I see you tryin’.

His eyes flitter into light again, ease passing across his features.

“Like the dress.” He looks over you with a condescending little smirk. This man has never seen you in a dress in your life.

“Shut up. It’s just for dinner.”

He lets out a cocky little tut. “‘Cause you knew I was comin’ over?”

When you look up at him again, his hand gently rests over yours. You don’t have time to appreciate it; the sliding back door opens, and your father’s big booming laughter shakes the nearby lake. Joel’s subtle touch is instantly gone.

“Joel! So good to see you! Hey, great bonfire a few weeks ago.”

You take a deep breath and excuse yourself from the shop talk. You don’t want to be alone with your mother in the house, but the table still needs to be set up. You work around each other in silence. She grabs the salad, you grab the dinner rolls and green beans. You could hear a pin drop.

---

Dinner would have been better if you had an appetite. You spent the majority of your time making a tilled farm field out of your mashed potatoes. You’d flatten out your helping with a fork and then gently run the fork’s ribs through the moldable potatoes and create little crop lines out of it. You don’t always play with your food, but you weren’t really up for conversation. Your mother takes notice. She hates it. She hates that you were letting your personal problems exist in the company of others.

The only time you looked up even slightly was when Joel started talking. Sort of a calm in an unknown storm, you suppose. He looked so handsome without even really trying. You wore a crooked smile as you looked over the dark green button-up he was wearing. It was starting to be your favorite color, he wore it so well.

There were points where your parents would turn to each other. And Joel would turn to you. It was sort of a silent check-in.

Under the protection of the table, his hand found your knee, his big fingers lightly playing with the hem of your dress. It was the first time you cracked a real smile all dinner. Your hand ghosted over his, your nails lightly running soothing, slow lines on the underside of his wrist by his watch.

You doin’ okay?

Mhm.

It didn’t dawn on you that Joel might have felt he did something to cause your saddened mood. And this was his way of asking. You bit down on your lower lip, feeling his fingers lightly interlock with yours over your knee. Your eyelashes flutter at the warmth it propels through your body. It was just what you needed. Everything was going to be okay.

---

You’re working over a stubborn steak juice stain on a plate as the sun sets over the lake and glistens a soft yellow-orange hue through the windows in the kitchen. Your parents are moving around you while you rinse the dishes, back turned to them as they spoke in mundane conversation and pack up leftovers.

You don’t see him, but you can feel Joel’s presence as he enters the doorway. He watches you. He watches your parents. You wonder what he sees. The next thing you know, he’s shaking your parents hands and bidding them goodnight.

He stops at you. As the running faucet splashes against a few forks and a wine glass, you spare him a glance.

“Walk me out?” Your parents take notice of his ask. And not in the way you expect.

You tilt back and forth on your feet, looking back to the dishes. You really just wanted to finish what was left to clean and read in your room for the rest of the night.

“Uhm-”

“Go on and walk him out, honey. We’ll see you soon, Joel. Thanks for stoppin’ in.”

Your eyes go from Joel’s, to your parents. If they were anything, at least they were oblivious.

You and your mother share a look before she sighs and exits the kitchen. Your jaw loosens, not even realizing how hard you were grinding your teeth while looking at her.

“Yeah. Okay.” Your murmured voice is barely audible above the gushing sink faucet. After you set the plate on the drying rack and smear your wet hands on a dish towel, you walk Joel outside.

The night breeze off the lake sets in a layer of goosebumps up your arms.

Joel’s boots scuff against the gravel and dirt in his driveway, his footsteps pausing at his truck and turning to face you.

The rising moon and setting sun work in unison to highlight his aquiline nose and silver-sprinkled jawline. He’s charmingly handsome. Rugged features meet a stone facade.

You take a hesitant look back into the house. The kitchen light is still on, but no one is in the small windows.

“You wanna tell me what’s really goin’ on with you?” He crosses his arms, cocking his leg out as he leans his weight onto one of his hips.

You muster up a shrug and fold your hands around your arms to keep the light chill away. It felt like you couldn’t tell the truth, the house and your parents inside watching over you. The pressure of it all makes your shoulders lurch up a bit into your neck.

But Joel continues to press you. You’re making him nervous, you think, because he’s not accustomed to seeing you so quiet.

“Are you..” His words falter and fall off, and you can see the frown creased into his mouth. “You’re wantin’ t’stop seein’ each other?”

“What?” Now you’re the one frowning, closing the gap between you and Joel and taking him by his hand to the other side of the truck, using it as a shield between you and the rest of the world. Your back flushes against his driver-side door.

“No, I don’t want to stop seeing you, Joel.” You frown and squeeze his hand a little tighter in assurance. “Trust me. You’re kind of..” You struggle to make the words fit. Nothing seems right. You’re kind of the only person I want to be around right now.

Joel looks a little relieved. He doesn’t make you finish your sentence. He seems to connect the dots. Joel looks from your solemn face to the house behind you—the cause of your ill-stricken mood.

“How about we grab a drink n’talk.” It’s not a question, exactly, it’s more like a command.

You don’t want to talk about what happened, and you have a sneaking suspicion that if you two go off together, your parents will be asking questions.

You push the toe of your sneaker into the gravel and twist slowly back and forth.

“I should just head back inside. My parents are probably waiting up for me, anyway. Cleanup duty.” You say unenthusiastically with a dash of sarcasm. Joel’s eyes are looking past you, still at the house. You turn around to follow his eyeline. All the lights in the house have been turned off—even the porch light. Joel scowls at the sight, thinking how he always leaves the light on for Sarah.

The caged-in feeling returns, your chest tight as you look to your feet and try to breathe through the ache your heart held. You wanted to get out of here, and now.

“Never mind.” You bite down on your lower lip to hold it together. “Let’s go.”

You’re already swinging open Joel’s door, rust creaking at the joints as you slide into the passenger seat. These old trucks with no center console were so cool to you. Maybe you'd appreciate it more if you weren’t in such a shitty mood. But Joel’s already in the truck beside you, the warmth he’s radiating was welcome. His key turns in the ignition, and it clicks a few times before the engine roars to life.

You don’t talk, he doesn’t force you to. You feel at peace putting some distance between you and the lakehouse.

Joel drives past neighborhoods with funny street names. Thunderbird Lane. Firefly Drive. Sugar Loaf Lane.

As the sun just finishes setting, the whole town is covered in an orange glow that will soon fade to purple. Everything flies by your window, and moving at this speed feels like the cage is lifting around your chest, the clasps on your wrist snapping free.

Rolling down the window makes the breeze funnel into the truck and flow through your hair. Before you know it, your body is halfway out of the window.

“What ‘n God’s name do you think you’re doin’?” Joel’s tone was warning, his fist catching your dress in a fist around your lower back in an attempt to make sure you didn’t get thrown out of the truck. “Get back in here.”

You turned back so Joel could see you, eyes lit, and a smile from ear to ear. His hold slowly loosens at the sight before him.

Back arched out the window, he drives a little slower and towards the center of the road. You look up, arms outstretched into the night air as you breathe everything in. Fresh lungs, filled with a new perspective, no tears left to cry as you hang out of Joel’s window. The stars gleam, and the universe is vast.

Oh my god. You hear yourself mumble, feeling freedom reeling through your entire body. And like that, you were new again.

A satisfied sigh leaves your lips. You’re back in the truck now, and you roll the window up but not completely closed. The wind still tickles a breeze into your thrown-about hair. You look to Joel, his eyes already on yours.

Joel sees your fire has been re-lit, thrashing out licks of flame and building in intensity. He adores you wild and free.

“Better?”

You fix the space between you, your body melting into his side as your head lazily rolls onto his shoulder. His heavy arm finds its way around the tops of your shoulders to keep you sedentary.

“Much better.”

---

He ends up passing the central part of town. It’s better this way. Go somewhere he won’t be recognized with a woman half his age. He’s the one who lives in town throughout the year. You and your family only visit in the summer. It doesn’t help that the town is small, and Joel is one of a handful of skilled contractors in the area.

His rusted truck lulls to a jittery stop outside a small bar lit by a red neon sign reading, Past Lives. You wander inside, passing empty barstools and a glowing dartboard, while your sneakers crunch peanut shells littering the ground. You nearly slipped on a large pile of them, but Joel’s hand was firmly on your bicep before you could flail any further.

“You might be the clumsiest woman I’ve ever met.” He mutters, annoyance passing over his features.

You roll your eyes and scoot onto one of the tall barstools at a small square table against the wall. “I doubt that’s true.”

He shrugs his shoulders and cracks open a peanut, tossing it into his mouth. “You’re right. Your mother is the clumsiest woman I know. You get it from her. Once, I watched her glide five or six feet down the end of the dock and land in the water.”

An ill feeling passes over you again, pursing your lips as you trace your finger around the small bowl Joel is picking his peanuts from.

Joel halts his movements, chewing included, and watches as your eyes stare meaninglessly at the table.

“Never really seen you like this. Thought I’d like it if you were quiet for once. But now it just feels out of character.”

Joel’s boot teasingly nudges your sneaker under the table. His brown eyes look warm despite the lack of light in the dingy bar. Your stomach twists thinking about how he looked under the moonlight just half an hour ago.

Those pretty eyes of his meet yours. Soft. Kind. “Talk to me.”

A beaten-up sigh leaves your lips, tugging at the hem of your dress.

After a drink or two, you tell Joel everything he missed before dinner. How you and your mother fought. How it was all venom and tears, leaving you cold and alone on the bathroom tile. By the time the battle came to a halt, there was no clear winner or loser.

Joel’s an attentive listener. He doesn’t interrupt. He knows when to prompt you need a push. Joel’s pile of peanut shells has turned into a small molehill. The ice in your drink sloshes around as you start talking with your hands.

“I love her, I mean, she’s my mom. But she’s always fought me on this. This-this-...”

“The traveling,” Joel assists, his large hand nursing a small glass of whiskey. He looks amused like he enjoys watching you spew. You supposed he feels more relieved to see you explode like this rather than holding it all in.

“And-and it’s so much more than that! She fought me about leaving Texas for school, she fought me about doing a semester abroad, she just can’t let me go, it’s suffocating!”

You didn’t mean to sound so passionate, and you hadn’t realized how vocal you became until someone slowly clapped on the other side of the bar in appreciation. You stifled a laugh and put your head shyly in your hands.

He nods slowly, waiting to see what you’ll say next. You’re using him like you’re journaling at home, now it’s just interactive.

You sigh and pinch at the bridge of your nose, closing your eyes as you listen to an old country slow song humming throughout the bar.

“Didn’t even wanna come back this year.” Your words are barely above a murmur.

This makes Joel pause. “What d’you say?”

You sit up straight and sigh, crossing one leg over the other under the table. These stupid drinks are making you tell the truth. Be more vulnerable than you would ordinarily be. But it’s also because you’re talking to Joel, and he’s always been interested in what you have to say.

“I didn’t want to come back this year. These past few years, I didn’t come back to Danbury because I sort of- purposely- busied up my summer. Internships, work, anything to keep me busy and out from under their-their….” You pause to make hand gestures that are wide and all-encompassing.

Joel juts his jaw out to the side, lips pursed before he speaks again.

“M’happy you came back.”

There’s a moment of silence. Joel’s eyes aren’t on yours anymore. He’s swirling his glass around slowly and watching his ice rotate in a sloppy circle. You slowly start to smile as he looks bashful.

“What did you say, Mr.Miller?” You pry teasingly, reaching your hand over and gently stroking his watch band. The nickname makes his eyes narrow on yours.

“Nothin’. Forget about it.” He throws back the last of his drink, and you’re cooing for him to continue.

“Wha- Joel, come on! Why did you say that?”

He’s just trying to buckle down his smile, hiding it with his whiskey glass and shaking his head.

“Didn’t say nothin’.”

“Yes, you so did. Don’t even try to lie.”

“I’ve never lied a day in my life.”

Your eyes go wide, and now you’re smacking his forearm. He’s shoving quarters at you now, sliding them to your side of the table as a form of distraction.

“Can you just-” He scoffs under his breath and rolls his eyes, finalizing his quarter total to four. “-fuck off, go put a song on the jukebox.”

You sneer at him but obey. You look for something particular, pausing on Little Lies by Fleetwood Mac, smirking at him as you punch in his quarters. He seems confused as to why you stay standing at the jukebox.

The chorus hits, and you point accusingly at him as you do so.

“Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies,” you can’t even finish before your right foot catches on more slippery peanut shells, freezing like you were caught on ice skates and trying not to fall.

Joel’s hand has a vice grip on your bicep again until you regain your balance. God. Your face gathers heat as you snatch your phone off the table, and he lets out a laugh at your expense.

“Can’t sing,”

“Hey-”

“Can’t walk in a straight line.”

“I had like four drinks.”

“Two.” He corrects. There’s no hiding that you’re just unbearably uncoordinated.

“God. Just- get me out of here, Miller.”

Joel was biting back a smile. He likes teasing you, taunting you. Only because you know how to serve it back to him.

“Not until you see this. Wanna show you somethin’.” He sets down his whiskey and lays down cash to cover the tab.

You start your stride, and Joel’s already looking at you with instilled concern. You insist I’m fine. Go on. You follow him through a narrow hallway towards the restrooms, an exit door lit up with a red sign over it.

The walls are filled with signs, pictures, and letters, all illuminated by a soft flickering strip light. These were trails that people had left along the way, passing through the bar and leaving a piece of them behind for strangers to admire. It was like a memory wall.

Joel leans back against the men’s restroom doorframe, arms crossed as he silently admires the wall. And you.

Your fingers brush an old family picture timestamped from the late 80s. There were business cards, from bankers to bonds bailsman.

You feel Joel’s hand cast warmth on your hip, guiding you further down the hall. You follow his eyeline to a large yellow-light spoiled wall map. There were push pins all in different parts of the world.

“Look at all of these, Joel!” Your eagerness was evident as you stepped in front of him, finger flying from one point to the next, squinting past the tacks to read the cities people have visited.

“Bangkok, Thailand. Paris, France. Of course. London, Dubai, Tokyo.” Your voice trails off, finger-stopping around the empty parts of the map that some of the bargoers had yet to venture off to. The pins around the state of Texas were ironic.

You gently took a step back, Joel's broad and hardened front caressing your back. His arms gently wrap around you before they clasp at your front. You rest your temple against his bicep as you sigh. You found comfort in him tonight more than he could understand.

Your neck cranes to the side and up, observing his defined jawline from below. “Have you ever been out of the country?” Your face is lit with excitement, only to fall as he slowly shakes his head. You turn back to the map, your fingers gently holding onto his muscular forearm.

“Am I crazy for wanting to leave?”

You can feel a heavy breath leave through Joel’s nose, the air fanning over the top of your head.

“You’re not leavin’. You’re travelin’. You’ll come back, eventually.”

The muscle in your jaw twitches, and your eyes move to the Eastern side of the map, spotting the tiny European countries.

“Maybe my mom is so worried that if I decide to leave, I might not come back.” You say it as a joke. It makes Joel muster up a tut. But maybe, just maybe, you mean it.

---

You feel drops scatter from the dark black clouds overhead as you rush out to the truck, feeling the cold rain splash onto the exposed skin of your thighs.

Joel’s hot on your heels, doing his little side hop down the stairs and jogging lightly with his arms tucked into his sides. He’s already tossed you the keys to his truck. His body hovers over yours and shields the raindrops from landing on your head as you fiddle with unlocking the truck door.

“Any day now.”

His babbling thwarts your concentration.

“Fuck off, it’s like- rusted shut.” You tease before giving the handle one large tug, and it gives way with a creak. You slip in, dress hem tangling up on your upper thighs. Your hand flies to fix it instinctually, but you slow down when you see how adamantly Joel admires the exposed skin.

When you two make eye contact, he’s already cleared his throat and put the key in the ignition. He cranes his neck back to look out the rearview window, left hand cranking the wheel with precision while his right arm wraps around the back of your headrest. You swallow the lump in your throat, watching Joel reverse out of the bar’s parking lot and back onto the main road.

Your heart thumps, and you think he can hear it because his eyes are on yours when he turns back around. Magnetizing. And you have a hard time facing him without feeling a little shy. Because you’re thinking incredibly naughty things now.

On the drive home, the rain pelts the truck and hard. Joel’s wimpy wipers are working at full speed. He’s not concerned because he knows these streets with his eyes closed. He turns up the radio a little bit to drown out the rain. He does it for you to ease your nerves.

“You’re quiet.” He murmurs, his eyes still on the murky road in front of him.

You can’t help but be quiet. He looks so fucking hot. As dim streaks of lightning skitter across the sky, you see the silver hairs in his mustache and beard. His rain-dampened curls are recoiling, fresh, and wavy. His thick neck was lined with strong veins and muscle.

“So are you.” You murmur back.

His eyes catch you in sneaky glances. Your hair, pretty and dry since he shielded you in the bar’s parking lot. Dress half rumpled up your thighs, smooth skin of your legs exposed to his wandering pupils.

The truck suddenly shifts, veering off the main road.

“Woah,” you gasp, thinking the truck had slid at first. But Joel’s foot was still on the gas, cautiously guiding you off to a side road. You look around, covered by darkness and trees that shield your existence but do little to veil the obscene thoughts racing through your head.

Joel finally throws the truck into a parked position, your eyes watching as his hand snaps the keys out of the ignition.

He looks over at you expectantly. And you just deadpan.

“Get over here." He says between gritted teeth, voice drenched in lust as he snaps off his seatbelt and then your own.

His large hands pull you in as soon as you’re free. You don’t waste another minute, straddling his lap and resting between him and his steering wheel.

You clutch the collar of his dark green button-up, tugging him by his neck into your kiss. It’s messy and desperate, but you've wanted to taste him since dinner. His greedy hands are wrinkling your dress. The cold air tickles your warm thighs, and you whimper into his mouth.

Joel’s kisses are rough but fluent; he speaks the language of your lips. You take a moment to admire how different the two of you are and how it feels like he’s the key to your lock.

His warm palms slip up the front of your thighs as he kisses you, hasty and happy. He takes the hem of your dress with him. Joel is as warm as a furnace. He’s heating you from the inside out as your core begins to ache for him.

He pauses the kiss, large palm coming up to cup your cheek as his thumb traces along your lower lip. You take the time to catch your breath, feeling his own fog against the window next to you.

“Not exactly the most romantic spot.” His eyes shift with lust-filled guilt. “M’sorry.”

You work up a smile, leaning in to gently kiss his cheek and up his cheekbone.

“It’s okay. We’re not romantic.” Your clarification feels like a lie. He doesn’t need to know that.

The rain outside becomes blurred, and Joel’s looking through you again. Right through you. Your chest pounds under his watchful eyes. He sucks in the side of his cheeks, looks you up and down your face.

Don’t lie to me.

Don’t make me tell you the truth.

He decides to let you move on unscathed, your thighs clamping around his own with your knees at either side of his hips. His worry lines are stamped into his forehead as he looks over you cautiously.

You break into a smile, unable to stand him looking at you like you’re a lost puppy. “Joel,” you whisper into his ear, soft lips giving his ear a kiss as your nose lightly brushes against his soft curls. Your voice drops to a whisper, sweet and divine. “Don’t make me beg, Mr. Miller.”

Your lips suckle his earlobe and cast your tongue along the curve while his fingertips immediately dig deeper into the flesh of your hips. The sensation makes his cock twitch in his jeans.

You smirk as you grind your hips into his lap, a suppressed grunt leaving his parted lips. He’s into it. “You like this, Mr. Miller?” Your words are murmured against the shell of his ear, teeth gently catching his earlobe and lightly tugging.

Your words along with the rhythm of your hips over his lap have him in a tailspin.

“Knock it off.” He warns, teeth gritted, a low growl emitting from his throat while he grips you at the waist to pause any movement. He looks so sexy snarling at you like this. Your hand reaches between you two, palming against his cock until you feel it swell into the heart of your hand.

Joel is lazily planting kisses on the soft skin of your neck, he’s distracted by how good your hand feels.

You take turns half undressing one another. Joel pushes your dress up to your waist and loops his index finger into the band of your panties. He guides them down with your assistance. You kick the material off your ankles and move to pop open each button of his long sleeve. He goes to shrug it off, but you smile and tighten your hold on the collar.

“I like it on. Just wanna see your chest hair.”

His mouth tilts into a crooked smirk.

“‘lright, then. Good to know.” He leans back in and places messy kisses on your exposed neck. You can feel how badly he wants to sink his teeth in, but you share the mutual rule of keeping those things below the collar. Out of sight, out of other people’s nosy minds.

You struggle to admit that jimmying open his belt at this angle was pissing you off. You’re holding your breath until it clicks open, and you let out a sigh of relief. So does Joel.

A gasp leaves your lips as Joel lifts the both of you up purely with the strength of his hips, a low grunt leaving his pouted lips as he pushes his jeans down to his knees, along with his boxers. You sit back down over him and feel his heavy shaft pressing against your slick center. His girth makes you whimper.

The rhythm of the rain eases your racing heart. You take Joel’s pulsing member into your slightly shaky hand.

“Nervous?” It’s not cocky or concerned, just curious.

“M’not nervous.” You mutter, starting to pump his cock to get him to shut up. And it works. For a minute.

His head falls back into the seat as he watches you in admiration, his own hand wandering between your spread legs and gliding two fingers through your slick. His forefinger grazes against your clit, and he has you whimpering again.

“S’okay to be nervous.” His thumb slowly starts delicate circles into your bundle of nerves, and now he’s got your legs quivering.

You’re chewing at the inside of your cheek, shifty eyes meeting his. You pace your words this time. “I’m not nervous, Joel.” You pull away from him to create a line of spit from your mouth, landing on his pink tip already drizzling in precum. You swallow your nerve and bring yourself to meet his eyes. “Not with you.”

The mutual understanding links the two of you together, bound to the agreement in silence. You have a burning desire for one another. You’re scared, and he knows it. You push him to the limits, his heart beats for you.

Steam fogs the windows of Joel’s truck. The rain dances a fine line between pounding and pouring to slow and subtle.

Joel’s kisses lull you into a peaceful existence. You take off your dress, unable to stand anything between you and Joel. He’s warm as he wraps his arms around you, your tits flush against his thick chest.

You line him up by his base, Joel’s trying to hold himself still under you. You’re focusing hard, and he kisses your temple to ease your thoughts. He murmurs something, but you’re too busy concentrating.

His pink tip meets your warm flesh, and his tip slowly parts your walls. He’s seething between his teeth, how tight you are washes pleasure over his face. He wants you to go slow. You don’t want him to go easy on you. You can’t help but let his name tumble from your lips in desperation.

“Joel,” you whine, one hand clenching the fabric of his button-up by his shoulder while the other still weakly holds his base.

“M’here, baby.”

He’s rubbing soothing circles in your hips with his forefingers, trying to distract you from the stretch he’s creating inside you.

His breaths are coming out in hot puffs. The truck isn’t cold anymore, in fact, it’s only steaming up.

“So- fuckin’- tight.” He murmurs, eyebrows knitted together as his jaw was dropped open.

It was sharp at first, but the further you sank over him, the more you couldn’t contain yourself. As soon as his balls were flushed against your core, you were kissing him. Hot and heavy, desperate and needy, can’t get enough of each other sort of kisses. One of his hands holds the back of your head to keep you close while your fingers are delicately feeling up his chest and mazing through salt and pepper hair.

You smirk lazily against his lips, pulling away to rest your head on his shoulder. With this leverage, you start to roll your hips down onto his. Joel’s hands assist, squeezing your ass and guiding you smoothly up and down his shaft. You’re both moaning one another’s names, hazy eyes watching each other as long as they can before eventually drifting closed.

You wished you weren’t fucking in his truck, your riding skills were a lot better than this, but if you try and pop up, your head will just smack into the roof. And he’ll make fun of you for as long as he knows you.

“God- feel so good, Joel.”

You’re panting already a few minutes in. You don’t want Joel to think you can’t do this, you don’t want his help. But your body is crammed in limited quarters, and you’re already sweating.

He feels good. You wonder how long it’s been since he’s had sex. He’s not exactly the most outgoing of gentlemen. Thinking about him being with other women, maybe even women his age stirs a weird pit inside your stomach.

One hand steadies itself on Joel’s forearm while the other gently clutches his cheek. You leave a messy moan against his ear.

“Do you like fucking girls half your age, Mr. Miller?” You ask with a teasing smirk, messy kisses against his stubble and his ear ensuing.

He’s grunting every time you throw yourself back into him, skin clapping against his thighs, his hands slipping from your hips to your ass and squeezing the juicy flesh. “-like fuckin’ you.”

A low, extended groan leaves his lips as he holds your hips down, filling you full and having you sit with it. You throw your head back, and your eyes shudder closed with a loud moan occupying the truck.

You tell yourself that you’re both just fuck happy. You can worry about the depth of Joel’s words later. He feels too good inside of you for the first time to give a shit.

Joel’s thrusts bring you back to life, hand landing against his window and leaving a print mark against the steamy glass.

Joel senses your languid movements. He thinks you look pretty being fucked in his trunk during a thunderstorm. The darkness wraps the both of you up, only seeing flashes of each other’s features. He combs his large hand into your hair, catching your striking features with his hooded eyes. The slope of your nose. The curvature of your collarbones. Your pretty lips that he can’t stop staring at.

Joel enjoys the control too much for you to be on top for a second longer.

You collapse onto the truck’s long leather seat, lips parting in surprise as he maneuvers you to lie back without slipping from your entrance.

“H-Holy fuck, Joel-” You’re breathless.

Joel’s jaw clicks tighter as he flattens one of his large palms beside your head for leverage, hovering over you as he begins to methodically snap his hips into yours. Your desperate cries for more fill the truck.

Both of you are horridly cursing, some in the form of whines and moans and others in the form of whispered grunts.

Fuckin Christ-

Holy shit, Joel, please-

Feel so god damn good, princess-

Oh f- fuck me Joel, fuck me!

You’re already feeling the knots in your stomach tether tighter and tighter together, back arching as your chest brushes against his nose.

Joel takes the opportunity and licks a hot stripe between your breasts. You know he tastes your glistening sweat, but the trail from his tongue makes you clench tighter around him.

You catch Joel’s unfiltered groan in your mouth, his forehead resting against yours as his amber eyes grace yours.

He’s close, you can see it in the way his features contort and his thrusts become more unpredictable. You had no idea he could fuck this good.

Joel brings a hand up to your lips and offers you two fingers. You whimper but reluctantly take them past your mouth. You suckle and lather your tongue up and down each digit, it makes his cock twitch inside of you.

He plucks his fingers free with a pop, a trail of spit extending from your bottom lip to your chin as he reaches between you both.

Finding your swollen bundle of nerves doesn’t take him more than a second. You were so turned on it was almost painful.

Joel’s tip sweetly kisses your cervix at this angle, and you are so close to spilling over. Your hands cup his face, pulling him into you as you share a messy kiss. You think about how scared you were to kiss him before, but now it makes you feel a sense of protection and safety. You wrap your arms around his neck, you need him close.

“Joel,” you whimper, clenching your eyes closed and dropping your jaw as he finds the perfect rhythm circling your clit.

“Can’t hear ya, baby,” He grunts into your ear. You can feel him tiredly smirking against your cheek, knowing he’s fucking you so good you’re struggling to find the words.

“Fuck,” you mutter, your legs clenching tighter at the sides of his hips. “M’on birth control, finish inside me,” you whisper against his ear.

You can hear him let out a short, breathy chuckle against your ear. It only drives him more, knowing he can fill you up.

“Y’sure, sweetheart?”

“Want to?”

His teeth are gritted as he growls into your ear. “Course I wanna fill your sweet cunt up.”

It was hopeless after that.

A crack of thunder and a strike of lightning conspire, your view of Joel illuminating his gorgeous face in a white-silver flash.

The tight coils inside you snap free, a broken moan of his name being the last thing you remember saying before white stars filled your vision. Your hold on Joel loosens as your orgasm crashes through you ungracefully, making you twitch and rut your hips below him.

His fingers and his thrusts don’t stop. He rides out your orgasm, following suit until he flushes his hips against yours and lets out a heavenly groan of your name. You’re still under him, vision blurry and hearing fuzzy. He finds solace in the crook of your neck, nuzzling a home for himself in the space and losing himself deep inside you.

His body shudders lightly as he finishes, spilling white streams into you for who knows how long. Your hand is gently stroking the hair at the back of his head, fingers combing through dark curls as he breathes hot air against your neck.

You both slowly blink back to life. He’s complimenting you, but you’re too blissed out to hear the details.

So good, baby… Such a pretty fuckin’ girl... So lucky.

Joel tuts softly as he attempts to free his softened length, but you whine and tighten your legs around his hips to keep him stationary.

Your eyelashes flutter as you feel gentle kisses by the corners of your eyes, tiredly smiling as you open them before slowly sitting up onto your elbows. Joel takes the opportunity to pull out and yank his boxers and jeans back into place, securing his belt last.

He still keeps his shirt unbuttoned for you, partially because you have a hold on a random corner to keep it so.

With the absence of your pants hotboxing the truck, you slip back into your dress with a light shudder. You reach past Joel’s leg to retrieve your panties and pull them up your stems to keep his spillage to a minimum.

“Good?” He asks, a smile slowly growing on your lips. He looked so fucked out. You both probably did. You attempt to fix Joel’s hair, and he takes his thumb to swipe away the saliva trail on your chin.

“Good.” You agree. Quiet and sapped, but good.

You force Joel to play a few games of tic-tac-toe on the foggy glass before the storms lighten up, and you can actually see more than a few feet in front of the road.

You’re picking at the skin around your nails the entire drive home. So many questions compile in your worn-out brain.

What if your parents noticed you were gone? What if they were awake, waiting for you by the kitchen window, and they see you slip out of Joel’s truck? Try explaining yourself after that one.

As Joel pulls into his driveway, you observe the lake house is still dark and silent. Empty but also not. Joel’s warm palm is on your leg. It draws your attention away from the window, focusing just on him.

“Joel?”

“Hm?”

You shift your jaw before you lay your head back against the headrest, gentle pitter patters of the last rain cloud splashing on the window.

“What do you do when you’re not working? Like on that Saturday when I talked to you at your truck.”

He musters up a half-mouth smirk. “Didn’t do much talkin’ that I recall.”

You roll your eyes and slam a closed fist against his shoulder. It barely rocks his arm, let alone his body. “M’serious.”

He lets out a long sigh and looks out the windshield. “I do stuff around town or- for the town.”

He’s so hard to push details out of. He’s like a jammed stapler.

“Go on. So, like, volunteering?”

Joel rolls his eyes and shrugs. “S’not really like that.”

“That’s what it sounds like.”

He doesn’t say anything, just sort of starts smiling. “Just like keeping myself busy. But now I have you on my plate.” He teased. Your chest felt warm, knowing he kept a place for you in his hectic life.

“What sort of stuff are you working on right now?”

He takes a long, deep breath through his nose. You can hear it whistle before he lets it all out of his mouth, followed by clearing his throat.

“Y’know that old church past that big field on the east side of Danbury?”

You mindlessly shake your head and shrug.

“When I was a kid, I used t’go to that church-”

“For God?” You can’t help but blurt it out in shock.

He narrows his eyes on you and smirks.

“M’not exactly the Godly type.” You look over his chiseled jawline and beautiful, robust features. You’d have to disagree. He looked like one of God’s favorites.

“So.. why are you trying to fix an old church?”

Joel slowly smiles, eyes mindlessly on the dashboard of his truck before he answers. “I have a thing for the broken, used, and abandoned.”

Your head cocks to the side, and you give him a look, pressing him for an honest answer. Or maybe it was an honest answer, and you’re just looking for a better answer.

He shuffles around in his seat before he continues, hand still aimlessly circling on your thigh. “It wasn’t operable when I was a kid, just rundown, abandoned. There used to be a stained glass mural on the-uh... east-facing wall. So when the sun came up through it, the whole place just- lit up.” He pauses and shifts his focus to you.

“Now, y’know, it’s fallin’ apart. Dumb kids throwin’ rocks at it and chipping away the glass, age makin’ it all dust-covered.” Joel shrugs and falls back into his closed pit of secrecy.

“So… you’re fixing up the town.”

A pause. “More or less.”

“You know how to make a stained glass mural?”

He shakes his head and purses his lips. “No. But I can figure it out.”

You twist your lips and slowly climb over his lap once more. His eyes watch you curiously while his hands settle on your hips. You cup either side of his neck, fingertips lightly brushing up against messy curls.

“Can I see this mural you’re working on?”

He takes a long time to answer. So much dead silence fills the truck you start to feel a bit awkward about asking, like maybe it was too far.

“Please.” You ask or tell rather. You kiss his lips lightly to try and sway his pending decision. “I won’t judge, I think it’s cool.”

“Cool?” He instantly chirps, cocking an eyebrow up at you.

“I didn’t say you were cool-”

“You most certainly did.”

You’re shaking your head, and his pointer finger is prodding into your side to get under your skin. “I said that it’s cool. The stained glass stuff, that is what is cool.”

He’s already sneering at you. “Whatever you say, princess.” You can feel your cheeks singe with heat. Your hand anxiously scrabbles for the door handle, letting the rusty door creak open for your exit.

Sneakers scrape gravel after you climb out of Joel’s lap, his boots landing suit.

He smoothes a hand down your dress, your eyes watch before you face him.

“You gonna be alright?” Joel's face is laced with slight concern, his head cocking past you and looking to the house.

You shrug and shake your head. “Yeah. We’ve had this fight before, and we’ll have it again.”

He doesn’t seem satisfied with the answer. He’s teetering on his heels as a stray raindrop lands on your cheek.

“You can..” He trails off as his thumb comes up and brushes away the droplet, hand lingering before he cups your cheek. “Y’know, can always stay with us if you need a break. M’sure Sarah would love the company.” And so would he.

Your eyes soften, the gesture warm and safe. You couldn’t even imagine the trouble you’d stir up at Joel’s house. Sure, you could occupy yourself with Sarah when she returned from camping, but what would you and Joel do? Well, besides the obvious…

Your lips curl into a tight smile, not wanting him to reel in his invite out of pure bashfulness.

“Thank you. I’ll keep it in mind.” Your eyes are on his until he sighs, his shoulders reset into that of a broad lumberjack once more. His eyes looked like they were scheming. It’s fast, like a flash, and before you know it, the look is gone.

“Take care of yourself.” He leans down and plants a kiss on the crown of your head, thumb skimming up the line of your cheekbone. Suddenly, your heart is racing again.

You cup his cheeks and pull him down for a real goodbye kiss, two sets of pouted lips against one another, unwilling to let go until you have to.

---

“What are you doing after work?” You’re on a call with Joel, phone pressed between your ear and hunched shoulder.

“What are you wearing right now?” He taunts, voice crackling in and out of connection since he was currently working at a house out of town.

“Ha.” You deadpan, closing the sliding glass door behind you as you step back into the empty lake house, skin sweltering from being in the sun for the better half of the afternoon reading on the dock. “No, really, I could use your help.”

The phone volume shrills in your ear as you hear an electric saw roar to life, Joel cursing repeatedly as he walks away from all the noise. “Jesus fuckin-.. so damn lou- Can you hear me better?”

Once the saw dulled, you put the phone back to your ear. “Yeah.”

“What do you need help with?” His voice sounds a little preoccupied like he’s trying to focus on you, but he’s got a million things running through his head.

“My window.” You say with a frown, stepping into your bedroom and cursing at the sight of it. “Won’t open. Maybe you can crack it open with some of your handy dandy tools.”

You smile as he musters up a little laugh at your hardware knowledge or lack thereof. “I don’t know about today, baby.”

“You are the property maintenance guy for our lakehouse now, right? You have a duty to help me.” You tease, stepping back outside with a fresh bottle of water and an apple. Your teeth pierce the skin, and the apple’s juices gush past your lips.

“Jesus, fine. I’ll be over. I’m almost done.”

You purse your lips to hide your smirk. God, he can’t even see you, but you don’t want him to know he’s got you flustered.

“Parents are running errands today... If that’s extra incentive for you to hurry up.”

Joel pauses on the other end. He’s probably got that stupid smirk on his face. “In that case, I’ll leave now.”

“I knew you’d see things my way. Thank youuu.” You playfully coo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

An hour later, Joel’s outside your window while you assist from the inside. His face is twisted in concentration, eyes narrowed on a misaligned hinge that he works free with a screwdriver, realigns, then screws tight into its proper place.

He looks stupid hot so focused like this. Tanned skin, hair a little dusty from work. The veins in his forearm were bulging as he uses pressure to keep the hinge in place. You had to blink a few times to keep yourself from staring. He feels it.

“Can I help you?” His voice was thick and echoing since he was speaking to you between a glass pane.

You bite back a smirk and shake your head.

He pulls off the hinge and nods, pats it a few times before looking at you and giving you a thumbs up.

You decide to let him come inside before you open the window yourself, twisting at the string of your bikini bottom as you wait. He took in your appearance as soon as he parked in the driveway.

“What?”

“...Nothin’. Like the outfit.”

“Joel, I was sunbathing. And reading. It wasn’t an intended distraction.” It was.

“Mhm.”

Joel appears at the entrance of your bedroom. You silently curse yourself for not updating it more. It still looked like a sixteen-year-old fangirl lived in it.

He appreciates the posters and magazines, checking his handiwork at the window.

“Wanna give it a go? Open it?”

You eagerly smile and step up to the window, playfully tugging on it and heaving.

“I-.. It’s still stuck.” You say with a frown. “Joel, you said you fixed it.”

“What? Shouldn’t be-” He’s already got his hands on the frame and tugs, feeling it easily slip up and open. You’re giggling as his face deadpans.

“You think you’re so funny.” He taunts, his body turning towards you as he chucks his tools haphazardly on your bed. You’re already attempting to take leaps and bounds away from Joel, but his arms are long, and so are his strides.

His rough hands capture you by your waist, dusty and calloused fingers ghosting over your warm skin.

Joel’s lips eagerly greet yours, both of you grinning into the kiss. It’s slow as you let it envelop you. Your heart races. He’s not supposed to be here, your parents could come home any time now.

You bite down on your lower lip, feeling butterflies in your stomach as he backs you up against your wall, foreheads gently pressed together. His eyes flick behind you, and your head follows his gaze.

“Boybands, huh?”

You roll your eyes and smirk, fingers moving to the button of his jeans.

“Shut up, Joel. Leave the boybands out of it.”

A car door slamming catches both of your attention. Heads whip on instinct, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. Your parents are home, and Joel’s half-hard in your palm.

“Oh, shit.” You curse.

Joel’s already moving, grabbing his tools off your bed, and adjusting his jeans. “Lemme handle it.” Your heart pounds as you and Joel greet your parents at the door. They walk in with fresh shopping bags. A cheesy sign for the living room sticks out from one of them.

“Joel?” They both ask in unison, looking between the man beside you and you in your bikini. Your mother’s face lightly flushes.

“Hey, Joel! Good to see ya!” Your father sets the bags on the table and grabs a beer from the fridge. You shift on your feet and just let Joel lead.

Your dad’s oblivious, your mother is more curious

“What are you... What are you doing here?” She tries to ask casually with a little smile.

Joel raises his screwdriver, strategically keeping the toolbag in front of his lower half. You try not to smirk.

“Was fixin’ your daughter’s jammed window.”

Your mother's face softens before she smiles. “Y’know, that thing has been jammed for… years. Thank you.”

You give him a tight-lipped smile and nod. “Yes. Thank you, Mr. Miller.” The light glare he sends you means you’ll pay for that one later. Joel clears his throat and nods, too. He turns to you now, and you share a look.

“Just… let me know if it happens again. Might need to replace the hinge entirely. Small piece of it could be broken, might be why it keeps slippin’ out of place.”

“Yeah. For sure. Thanks.”

You walk past your mother and open the door from him, but he still stands between your parents. What the hell is he doing?

“While I have you both, I was just tellin’ your daughter ‘bout a business trip I have comin’ up.” Huh? “ It’s not for Miller Contracting. It’s more for the town. I’m gettin’ materials for the old church-”

“Oh, the one with the broken stained glass mural on the east side of town?” Your mother chirps in. “We just drove past it. Just saying how someone needs to fix it up.” Joel’s lightly nodding to your mother’s words, her face soft as she listens to him with curiosity.

“Well, I was tellin’ her about it ‘cause I could use some help getting materials from a supplier in Houston. I’d normally ask Sarah to tag along and help, but she said she’s got some graduation parties next weekend that she doesn’t wanna miss. Would it be alright if-”

“Oh, of course! Yes, please, if you need her help and she wants to go, she’s all yours.”

Your eyes are wide, trying not to seem too shocked by Joel secretly sweeping you out from under your parents without them even noticing.

Joel turns to you, eyebrow cocked. “That okay with you? Next weekend. Friday to Sunday sort’f thing.”

A whole weekend alone with Joel? Your insides are bursting, but you have to seem apathetic.

“Mhm. Sure.”

Joel sneaks you a private smile. “Really appreciate it. Ya’ll have a good rest of your evenin’.” And with that, he’s out the front door.

You couldn’t believe what just happened.

You try to act casual before you make it off to your room, but your mother’s voice pulls you to a halt.

“Ah-ah, not so fast. Back it up.”

You quietly sigh before coming back to the main part of the kitchen. She narrows her eyes on you and lightly crosses her arms. Your fight with her from yesterday is still fresh, and it makes holding prolonged eye contact difficult.

“Are you seeing a boy?”

Your eyes widen on instinct. Your dad pauses the sip of his beer and watches you carefully. You try to hold together a poker face as best as you can, but you’re worried your shock is already seeping through.

“Wha- A boy? Why would you think that?” The laugh you force out sounds too fake. And you’re a terrible liar. You feel so hot all of a sudden. You wished Joel was still here to talk you in and out of shit. It was a skill of his you’d surely have to learn.

“Well, we heard the door close really late last night after you walked Joel out. We were just wondering if... You know, there’s a special someone that you’re seeing.” Of course, she hoped you would tie yourself down to someone in Texas.

“Yeah, did a boy pick you up after dinner or somethin’?” Your father presses, eyes narrowing protectively over you. “You seein’ a boy or not, honey?”

You didn’t want to lie, but you certainly weren’t ready to tell them the truth about you and Joel.

“Uhm.” Your brain scrabbles for an answer and ultimately chooses poorly. “Sorta. I don’t know. Kind of?”

Your mother tightens her lips in a smile and nods a little. “We’ll let it go for now, but-”

“God- Mom, please.” You groan and put your face in your hands, closing your eyes and wishing this nightmare was over.

“But,” she annoyingly emphasizes, “If it gets serious, we want to meet this young man.” She says with a firm nod before turning back to your father and putting away the items in their shopping bags.

Meet him? They want to meet the boy you’re seeing? What will they do when they find out the boy is actually a full-grown man, a forty-something-year-old with a teenage daughter? And that man was not only their friend and neighbor but Joel fucking Miller. Fuck. Your luck was running out.

---

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iguessweallcrazyithinktho · 8 months

Text

𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 • 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐦

Summary: Can you write a fic about reader and Jude angst (like heavyyyy angst yk?) and then the reader and Jude are not on speaking terms anymore but something about the reader’s past happens and she doesn’t know where to go but to Jude and at first he’s shocked to see her at his doorstep but he lets her in and at first it’s awkward word exchanges but Jude notices her holding her tears back and tries asks her what’s wrong and she’s just like “it just hurts, so bad” and then fluff and then they get back together and just pure fluff-heavy on the angst(lmao I’m on my period can you tell)

Genre: angst, fluff

Warning: dad issues, break up, ex Jude

Pairing: Jude Bellingham x f reader

Word count: 1k

Author note: I honestly don't know what this is but oh well

Jude Bellingham Masterlist right here

Enjoy

Your relationship with Jude ended abruptly. You don’t know how it happened so fast. One minute you were talking, the next you were packing your bags with tears in your eyes.

That was 3 weeks ago and you still haven’t recovered from it. Jude clouded your memory like a plague. You been with him for so long before it all ended he just became apart of you. You loved him so much but unfortunately you had to let him go.

You sat in your apartment, TV on, but you weren’t even paying attention to it. You were stuck in your thoughts until your phone rung.

It was a call from your dad. You haven’t talked to him in years. The last time you did he gaslighted you and then abandoned you. What did he want after these many years?

“Hello?”

Your dad’s booming voice came on the other end of the phone making you cringe. He began to explain how he had found someone and how he was about to marry her after getting her pregnant. You pity the unknown woman and child who has to suffer his mental abuse.

“Why are you calling and telling me this?” you asked stopping his rambling. Your dad paused for a second before speaking.

“out of all people I thought you would be the happiest for me.”

You scoffed, laughing at his stupidity. “happy for you? After you emotionally abused me, treated me and my mom like shit and left us when we finally stood up for ourselves? I’m not going to be fucking happy for you. I feel pity for that child who has to grow up with you.”

A brief silence went by before your dad’s voice echoed through the phone. Anger laced in his voice as he spoke.

Lots of disgusting words flowed from his mouth. “I hate you” “you were a mistake I wish you were never born. “ “I hope you die.”

You wish you didn’t take any of it to heart, but you did. You always do.

After a bit you ended the call, no longer wanting to hear his insults thrown daggers at you.

You threw your phone at the end of the couch and groaned. You ran your hands down your face.

You hated him so bad it made you feel physically ill.

You didn’t notice you were crying when you pulled your hand away from your face but you were. You guess all the old memories flooded your brain and made you remember how horrible of a person he truly was.

You don’t know how you made it to Jude’s doorstep. Jude always knew how bad your relationship with your dad was and he was always there for you when you were dating.

You knocked on the door softly. The tears that were on your face were wiped away as you waited for the door to open.

The door swung open revealing Jude. He looked exhausted just like you were. He was taking the breakup hard.

“y/n, why are you hear? Did you forget something?” Jude eyebrows knitted until he was the tears streaming down your face. “love, what happened?”

He pulled you into the house and looked at you. His expression was dripping concern. He hates seeing you cry.

“sweetheart tell me what happened.”

You told Jude everything through your tears. Jude listened, wiping every year that fell from your eyes. He felt so much hatred for your dad for making you cry. He hated seeing you like this.

When you finished telling him everything, Jude pulled you into his arms and let you cry into his chest as he whispered how you didn’t deserve any of that.

When you finally calmed down you pulled away from Jude. “I’m sorry.” You pulled all the way from Jude and sat beside him on the couch.

“You don’t need to be apologizing. I told you I will always be here when you needed me remember?”

You remembered the night you and Jude broke up with each other. Tears in your eyes as you had your bags packed and ready to go. Before you could walk out of Jude’s place, he stopped you.

“y/n I know we’re not together, but just know I’m always going to be here for you ok?”

You avoided his eyes and nod. You knew if you looked at him you’d start crying. “I know Jude.”

“I remember.” You sigh. “it just hurts so bad.”

“lets stop thinking about him.” Jude got up from the couch making you look up at him.

“he doesn’t deserve your energy. Let’s do something else. Let’s watch a movie or something. We can watch princess diaries. I promise I won’t cringe.”

You laughed for the first time that night. It made Jude smile at his accomplishment.

Jude popped some popcorn and put on the movie for you both to watch. You leaned your head up against his shoulder and rested it there while your eyes stayed on the TV.

You were so close to Jude. Even though it was something you experienced so often before, it felt odd knowing you both weren’t together anymore.

You pulled away from Jude.

“what’s wrong?” he asked you, his whole body shifting to you.

“Jude, do you really want to be broken up?”

Jude exhaled. You watched as he turned away from you, paused briefly then shaking his head.

“no. To be honest I’ve been taking these past few weeks without you horribly.”

He took your hands in his. Your skin tingled at the contact.

“I don’t want to be apart from you. You’re the best part of my life. Our argument was stupid and it shouldn’t have broken us up.”

“you wanna know something?” you whisper to Jude. His eyebrows lifted so you continued. “I don’t even remember what the argument was about.”

Jude smiled at you. “don’t worry about it.” Jude brought his face close to yours. “Let’s start off on a clean slate. How does that sound?”

You looked up into his brown eyes. “I like the sound of that.”

Jude closed the gap between the two of you, kissing you for the first time in what felt like forever.

#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham #Jude Bellingham fanfiction #Jude Bellingham x you #Jude Bellingham angst

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daisyvisions · 4 months

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Unspoken Words (Pt. 1)

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Pairing: best friend!Sangyeon x afab!reader x enemy!Hyunjae

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Summary: If someone were to tell you that you'd be in a fake relationship with the person you despise the most just to make your best friend jealous, you would've laughed in their face. But here you are... caught up in this exact situation.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Word Count: 4.2K

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Warnings: (18+, minors DNI), fake dating, mutual pining, angst, jealousy, lots of suggestive themes such as: mention of a handjob and orgasm, groping, and fondling with breasts. Mentions of alcohol. Some cursing, lots of kissing and making out, eventual smut in part two. One use of the pet name “baby”. Implied sex and loss of virginity. Lots of time skipping. Let me know if I missed anything! Proofread twice.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. A/N: And just in the nick of time I’ve managed to write out my Secret Santa exchange gift. This one’s for you baby girl @winterchimez / @midnightfantasiez. You nearly sniffed out that it was me writing for you so I had to deviate and lie to you for a moment so sorry about that huhu anyway! A true blessing that you happen to be my recipient because we both love sangmil. A two-part mini series because I just love to keep you on your toes 😈 Hope you enjoy this gift! Thank you so much for your friendship and all the fun moments shared! Special shoutout to @momhwa-agenda / @aimeecarreros for being my accomplice hehe. Finally a sangmil fic has made its debut on the blog!

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Network: @deoboyznet

You never should’ve gone to this stupid spring dance.

The thought in your mind repeating like a broken record as you try to hug yourself from the cold air outside the gymnasium. Tears running down your face as you stare off into the ground trying not to remember the reason why you suddenly ran out of the venue to begin with.

It wasn’t always like this. You were once very content with how things were going on in your life.

With the semester almost ending and all your mid-term grades just enough to pass, you couldn’t wait to celebrate surviving your last year of college with this one magical night. Especially with your best friend Sangyeon by your side.

Right… best friend.

The same best friend that had been ignoring you for the last two months or so (not that you were counting of course). Your mind races as you try to figure out for the nth time what even started this whole issue between you two.

All you could think back to was the beginning of his odd behavior, which started the week after your birthday. At first you thought Sangyeon was just busy with extracurriculars, which was often the case since he was part of numerous clubs and volunteer work.

But then things started to feel off as soon as he would ignore your calls, take too long to reply to texts, hearing from other friends he was just at home when he told you he was “fully booked” to hang out. It was like he was trying to come up with every excuse in the book just to not see your face.

Was he trying to hide something from you perhaps? That idea immediately disappeared as soon as you accidentally overheard his conversation with Haknyeon that one time you were all hanging out at Eric’s apartment.

“What?! You’re not gonna ask her to the spring dance?” You hear Haknyeon’s surprised tone.

“Of course not.” Sangyeon scoffs. “Why would I want to bring her? We’re just friends after all.”

You felt a sudden pang in your heart. Tears threatening to fall down as Sangyeon’s words bore deep holes within your soul. After everything you’ve been through together, this is how he thinks of you?

It shouldn’t have been that deep honestly, but with him ignoring you for the past couple of weeks and remembering the promise you made with each other to go together to the spring dance? It really fucking hurt you. Especially when you and Sangyeon had been by each other’s side since you first met three years ago at your freshman orientation. Instantly hitting it off like two peas in a pod and the rest was history.

Somewhere down the line, you knew you had some sort of feelings for him. Who wouldn’t?

With a smile that can cure any bad feeling you had, how he always took care of you first, the lingering hugs before you had to part ways at the end of the day, the way he would remember even the most insignificant details of a story you were rambling about, and made sure to always message you good night and good morning… He was the dream guy for you.

And even if you had moments wherein you thought he might’ve felt the same way, you didn’t want to sacrifice the strong bond you had with him over a stupid little crush. You just settled with the idea of just staying in the friend zone and not dare to cross any lines with him. Burying any what could’ves and everything else in-between.

Maybe that’s why Sangyeon distancing himself from you hurt more than it should’ve honestly.

So when you were seated at your table during the dance and saw Sangyeon entering the room with his date wrapping her arm around his, you felt massive sting in your chest.

That should’ve been you. It should've been you spending this night with him instead of whoever was currently by his side.

You thought you could go through the night just by avoiding your gaze their table, but the way Sangyeon smiled at his date and at everyone else like nothing was wrong, but his face slightly faltering as he quickly glanced your way, you just had to get out of there before things went downhill.

Your teeth were chattering from the cold air breezing against your exposed skin, nose sniffling and hands wiping whatever tears were leaving marks on your face. Suddenly, a pair of shoes enter your line of vision while your eyes were still glued to the ground.

“You shouldn’t be out here, it’s freezing.” The familiar voice tells you.

As soon as you look up, you find Hyunjae staring down at you. One of his eyebrows slightly raised as he wonders what has gotten you into this depressed state on a special night like this.

“Laugh it up Hyunjae, isn’t this what you’ve always wanted? To see me cry?” You look up at him for a moment with your tear-stained face before looking back down at your feet.

Before you could even continue feeling sorry for yourself, Hyunjae sighs and squats down, his face now at the same level as yours. You feel his fingers lift your chin and gently tap the tears away from your cheeks with his handkerchief. Your eyes widen as he leans in closer, making sure not to ruin your makeup in the process.

“W-what are you doing?” you stutter.

“Pretty girls like you shouldn’t be crying.” He nonchalantly replies.

You’re too stunned to speak at his comment. As far as you know, Hyunjae has been nothing but a pain in your ass ever since he accidentally bumped into you in the hallway causing your diorama to break into tiny pieces as it fell to the ground.

Since then, you wrote him off as your sworn enemy. Always finding ways to annoy the hell out of you and get you to react to his antics, making side comments to one another, and his constant teasing that made you want to rip your hair off.

So no, never in your wildest dreams would you hear such a comment coming out of Hyunjae’s mouth.

“Hello?” Hyunjae waves his hand in front of you.

“What?” You shook your head as you were too distracted from hearing the question he had asked you.

“I said, do you wanna get out of here or what?” He sighs as he lends his hand out for you to grab. You hesitate at first. In any normal situation, you would never even let Hyunjae get as close as he did just now, let alone go somewhere with him.

But what the hell… Anywhere is better than here.

“So… who’s the lucky guy that has you bawling your eyes out? It’s obviously not me.” Hyunjae smirks. You had found yourself seated by the bar, eating french fries as you waited for your drinks to arrive.

“It’s uh- It’s a little complicated.” You try to avoid his eyes.

“Trouble in paradise?” Hyunjae pops a fry into his mouth waiting for your answer. Your eyes widen at his suggestion, knowing who he was referring to.

“What? No! I mean- We were never together if that’s what you’re thinking.” You sigh before carefully explaining to him the whole situation you were currently in with Sangyeon. Hyunjae intently looks into your eyes as you tell your side of the story.

“Huh…” Hyunjae takes a sip of his beer.

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” You look at him as he drinks, trying to not to dwell too much at the way his neck looks flexed under the dim light.

“You’re really impatient you know that?” He chuckles before taking another sip. “I was about to tell you an idea I just thought of.”

“Yeah? Let’s hear it then.” You take a sip of your cocktail this time.

“What if you make him jealous? Like really jealous.” Hyunjae suggests.

“Pass. First of all, I don’t think he likes me that way. And second, who the hell would he even be jealous of? Sangyeon hardly gets jealous by anything.” You squint at him. What a silly idea.

“No c’mon. Trust me, he’ll be jealous alright. Especially when it comes to you.” He eyes you up and down subtly.

“What does that even me-” Before you could even finish your sentence you spot behind Hyunjae a group of students dressed in formal attire entering the bar. And like a moth to a flame, you immediately spot Sangyeon and his date amongst the group.

Hyunjae turns around to see what had been the cause of your panic, his eyes immediately spotting Sangyeon from a distance as well. And as soon as Sangyeon had a puzzled look on his face he knew that Sangyeon had spotted the two of you by the bar, wondering what the hell were you doing with Hyunjae of all people.

You hop off the bar stool, attempting to run away like you did during the dance, but you suddenly feel a hand gently grab you by the arm and pull you back before you could even make a run for it.

“C’mere.” Hyunjae asks.

“Wha-”

“Just follow my lead.” He whispers in your ear.

And before you know it, you feel Hyunjae lips pressed against yours. His hands cupping your face before sliding down to your waist, pulling you closer to him. It takes a moment for your brain to process what’s going on, but your body responds faster by wrapping your arms around Hyunjae’s neck and deepening the kiss.

The way his lips perfectly mold against yours, how soft they feel as his hands squeeze your waist. The little groan he lets out as you slip your tongue inside his mouth, tasting the beer he had drank as your fingers run through his hair.

You nearly moan with how he slowly but expertly moves his mouth against yours. As if he’s taking to memory what your lips feel like in case this moment would never happen again. Both you and Hyunjae nearly forget you’re practically sucking each other’s faces off in public, which was surprising considering the nature of your relationship with one another.

No one could even tell the two of you despised the other as you held each other like lovers.

None of you see it, but the way Sangyeon looks at both of you right now is as if he wants to throw daggers at Hyunjae from across the room. Witnessing the both of you passionately kissing each other makes his stomach churn, a feeling he has never felt before. So many questions run in his head as he continues to watch from afar.

Before he even tries to take a step towards your direction, he sees you both pull away from one another. Hyunjae whispering something in your ear as you look too stunned to speak before taking out his wallet, pulling out cash and settling it on the table before whisking you away out of the bar.

Sangyeon really should’ve brought you to the spring dance like he promised… because not only does he feel like an asshole, but a jealous one at that.

The car ride on the way to your house was incredibly silent, as if what had happened between you and Hyunjae was just your imagination. Except it wasn’t. You could still feel his lips lingering on yours as you try to lean your head against the window and looking at anything passing by.

You’re broken from your trance as you hear Hyunjae’s door closing and his figure making its way to your side of the car. He lends out his hand for you to grab once again, helping you get out of the car and walk you to the front of your apartment.

“So… I’ll see you around?” Hyunjae smiles awkwardly says as he puts both his hands in his pockets.

“Hyunjae, wait-” You grab his elbow as he’s about to turn around.

“Hm?” He raises one eyebrow.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but-” You huff in-between, “let’s go with your plan.” You watch the little mischievous smirk appear on Hyunjae’s lips.

“If you just wanted to make out some more you could’ve just asked.” He teases. You’re about to slap him on the arm but he catches your hand and holds it tight.

“I’m kidding! Just… Let me know when and what time we can talk about it more alright?” He squeezes your hand gently. You don’t know why but a tiny little butterfly flutters in your stomach as you feel Hyunjae’s thumb subconsciously stroke the back of your hand.

“Okay… Thank you by the way for tonight-” you tiptoe a bit to hold Hyunjae’s cheek and leave a light peck on his lips. He’s caught off guard by your action, almost leaning forward some more to continue kissing you but you pull away quick enough before he does.

“Y-yeah, sure. Anytime.” Thank god it’s night time he thinks, otherwise you would've easily spotted the redness flaring in his ears and made fun of him for it.

“Call me okay?” He squeezes your hand once more before letting go and walking back to his car. You watch him drive off before heading up to your apartment, leaning against the front door and letting out one big sigh of relief.

“What the hell did I get myself into?”

“If you really want this to work, we have to set a few ground rules.” Hyunjae he pulls out a pen and paper from his bag, immediately writing down a numbered list for you both to fill out.

“Rule one- if one of us wants to stop this thing at any given moment, the contract will end.” Hyunjae says as he writes it down.

“Hmm.. what about rule two- if any of us catch some sort of feelings for one another, the contract is immediately terminated” You add. Hyunjae scoffs at the idea.

“Catch feelings? Seriously?” He looks up at you with a smirk. “Is there something you’ve been meaning to tell me this whole time?” He continues to tease.

“I’m serious! It’s only gonna get complicated for us to execute this plan if feelings are involved. Haven’t you seen the movies?” You ask him.

“Fine, you have a point.” He writes down your suggestion earlier.

“Okay, rule three- kisses are a must if you want this thing to work.” He looks at you in the eyes. “And other things couples do.”

You roll your eyes at him, “Fine, but nothing beyond second base please?” You scrunch your face at the thought.

“Oh?” Hyunjae looks at you with a few twinkles in his eyes. “So does that mean I get to play with your-”

“NO! Not that. Like y’know, just waist touching and maybe the occasional touch of the ass. But definitely and absolutely no touching my chest whatsoever.” You point your finger at him. “I'm serious.”

“Alright alright!” Hyunjae raises his hands up in defense. “Anything else you wanna add?”

“Let me see the list again.” You grab the paper from his hands, carefully examining the words written before nodding.

“This looks good. Yeah, I’m fine with this.” You hand the paper back to Hyunjae.

“It’s a deal.” He says as you both shake on it before getting up to part ways.

Before you have a chance to take a step towards where your class is, Hyunjae pulls you into his chest and leaves a kiss on your lips, making you squeal in surprise.

“Sit with me during lunch. We start this today, okay?” Hyunjae reminds you. You nod your head before shyly giving him a kiss on his cheek and walking away to head to your first class of the day.

Sangyeon could not keep his eyes off you during study period. It had been this way every time you happen to be in the same room as him. You looked beautiful as ever of course but he could feel his blood pressure shooting up every time he would be near you.

Ever since that night he saw you kissing Hyunjae almost two weeks ago, it was like the two of you were everywhere.

He hated the way Hyunjae would always whisper something in your ear and you would laugh at whatever he said. Or the way his hand would find purchase on your lower back. And not to mention the way he would brush any loose hair behind your ear before kissing you goodbye.

It should’ve been him. He should've been the one doing all these things to you. He should've been the guy leaving you all those loving kisses, holding you by your waist, reminding you of how beautiful you look every single chance he got.

If only he was honest with you that night.

Sangyeon’s internal monologuing was cut short when he sees you getting up from your seat and patting Hyunjae on the shoulder before making your way between the bookshelves in the library.

As you slowly search for the book you need for your English paper, your shoulder bumps into a semi hard surface. “Oh! I’m so so-” you whisper but stop mid sentence as the familiar scent of cologne hits your nose.

“Hey….” Sangyeon whispers.

“Uh- Hi.” You back away from him a bit as an awkward silence falls between you two.

“How are things going? We haven’t talked in a while.” He fiddles with his own fingers, trying to think of the next words to say to you.

“Good I guess? Just trying to make it through the semester and stay motivated.” You respond.

“Sure looks like it-” Sangyeon mumbles. But you clearly hear him and scoff at his rudeness.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You cross your arms against your chest.

“Seriously… Hyunjae? Why him?” He loudly whispers. “You’re better than that.”

“Yeah?” You step a little closer to Sangyeon, closing the gap between you two.

“Well where the fuck have you been huh? Where were you when I needed you?” You match the level of his tone.

“You don’t understand-”

“Then explain it to me then Sangyeon! I’m listening.”

He tries to speak but nothing comes out, panicking that this might be the last chance he could get to explain why he’s been so distant.

“I-uh” His eyes look everywhere else except you.

“Nothing? Thought so.” You push past him, making sure to harshly nudge your shoulder against his.

Sangyeon tries to follow you, but as soon as he steps out between the bookshelves he sees you head out of the library while Hyunjae scrambles to grab all your things from the table and chases after you. He sighs out of frustration combing his hair as he mentally curses at himself.

Oh he really fucked things up didn’t he?

“And he had the nerve, THE NERVE to tell me I know better. I can’t believe him!” You pace back and forth in your bedroom as you rant to Hyunjae about the events that took place in the library

“I honestly don’t know if I should feel offended or flattered at his little comment about me.” Hyunjae’s eyes follow you as you continue to move around.

“Think about it this way, at least we know the plan is working. Otherwise he wouldn’t have approached you like that.”

“Maybe? Ugh! Why are men so dumb?” You sigh.

“We think with our dicks that’s why. Well… maybe that’s just me.” He smirks, trying to crack a joke to break the tension. His little joke becomes successful when you look back at him and chuckle.

“Forget about him,” Hyunjae adds. “Tonight we drink to celebrate passing yet another exam and watch movies til we fall asleep or you decide to kick me out. Whichever comes first.”

He pours a full glass of wine for each of you as you plop down beside him and get cozy.

“Fine, but I’m picking the movie okay?” You tell him as you open your laptop and search for your favorite comfort movie.

Hours pass, almost three bottles of wine finished, and the movie long forgotten as you decide to chat with each other about anything and everything instead. It’s been nothing but laughs and mocking each other as you reminisce all the times you pissed each other off and funny stories of one another.

“Oh the look on your face was fucking priceless-” You laugh out loud, trying to catch your breath as you recall one embarrassing moment of Hyunjae.

“Well what the hell was I supposed to do then huh? Tell the professor I was getting a handjob under the table during his class?” His voice raises in defense. “Not my fault she couldn’t resist me.”

“You looked so mortified too holy shit-” You laugh.

“I was nearing a fucking orgasm okay? Then he calls me to the front of the class to write down my answer for the stupid formula. That professor practically edged me!” His cheeks starting to turn even more red as you continue to laugh at him.

“Ow it hurts, wait-” You clutch your stomach from the pain of laughing too much.

“Oh yeah? Let’s see how you like it then-” Hyunjae lunges forward, pulling your arms away to tickle you furiously.

You squeal out his name, trying to push him away while he tackles you. As you try to squirm out of his grip, you don’t even realize the position you’ve gotten yourselves into. Your body caged under his as he grabs your wrists and pins them down at each side of your head.

As the laughter starts to die down, Hyunjae looks down at you with heavy eyelids. You look incredibly pretty under him in this moment, he thinks to himself.

You didn’t even do anything in that moment but it was like he felt so drawn to you. Like you were a siren pulling him in. Your breath hitches as he leans down closer to your face, briefly stopping to search for any sign of consent before fully pressing his lips against yours.

This obviously is not the first time you two have kissed. But for some reason, this kiss felt different than all the other ones. You both kiss each other slowly, lips molding like a perfect dance as his hands let go of your wrist and hold you by your waist instead.

And just like the first time you kissed, you find yourself automatically wrapping your arms around him and running your fingers through his hair, pulling his body closer to yours as kisses travel down from your jaw to the most sensitive part of your neck.

You feel your core blooming in heat as his tongue expertly swirls inside your mouth. How it pulsates for him as you feel his hands go under your shirt, stopping right under your breasts.

You suddenly gasp as his hands start fondling your bra covered chest, gently kneading them as he continues to leave small marks on your sensitive skin with his lips.

A choked moan comes out as you feel his manhood throb against your core, reminding you of the thin layers of clothing, your thin pajama shorts and his sweatpants that stand between you two from crossing any lines.

“Hyunjae, wait-” You try to slowly push him off. His head pulls away to look at your face.

“Oh shit. I’m- fuck sorry no chest stuff-” You see the panic look in his eyes. But before he’s able to pull away, you grab him by the wrists and press his hands deeper into your chest.

A deep groan comes out of his mouth as he squeezes your breasts again, feeling your sensitive buds slowly hardening under your bra.

“No it’s not that. I-” You close your eyes for a moment before swallowing the lump in your throat. You feel your cheeks become warm at what you’re about to confess to him.

"I've never done stuff like this before..." you nervously say.

It takes a few seconds for your words to sink in before Hyunjae looks back at you with widened eyes.

“Oh uh- are you sure? We can stop. We don’t even have to do anything more-” He caresses your cheek.

“The thing is…” You pause to slowly swipe your thumb on his lower lip. “I want to-”

You look up at him with the most innocent looking eyes and Hyunjae swears to himself that he’s never seen anyone look at him the way you do. Like he had hung the moon for you. Hyunjae softly smiles at you before leaning to kiss you once again,

"Then sit tight baby… Because I'm about to rock your world."

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seokka0o · 6 months

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𝘽𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙪𝙣 𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙚𝙨

ғʀᴏᴍ. sᴇᴏᴋᴋᴀ0ᴏ

Synopsis: Your relationship seemed great, but only those inside the storm can say how difficult it is, Anton was a great bystander, he was always very attentive, but he got tired of just being someone to watch you slowly suffer and after an incident, he starts wanting to take the position as your boyfriend.

Pairing: Lee Chanyoung x afab!reader

Contain: friends to lovers; college!Au; toxic relationship; Cheating;lies and alcohol consumption

Featuring: Riize and Chenle from nct

Warning: This chapter contain smut; drunk sex; protected sex;

Author; This is my 1k followers event. I will make three chapters of this story available, since it was supposed to be a longer fiction I divided them to make it easier to read. Hope you like it.

English is not my first language, so there may be some grammar errors

Chapter I: The fine line between you and me

You were fucked from head to toe. Not because it was entirely your fault either, but that lack of complicity in your relationship was something detestable in your opinion. Something that took you so long to build with someone just going down the drain because of simple everyday things left aside and who would it be like being stuck in it for any emotional issue, you were so comfortable that it didn't seem to hurt the fact that Chenle treated you as if you didn't exist, basically, it was a facade couple, the type that doesn't mind being in that role, because in everyone's eyes you are perfect, but within the relationship everything was in ruins.

He was too good. Popular, rich, very charismatic, his group of friends, all equally popular, from a more renowned college made the whole situation worse. Chenle had an easy smile, besides being too handsome to be so friendly, he was sociable in his own way, full of compliments to give and sell to everyone, everything that was good came from him, because he was the sun, because he shone, and you were someone who also gave in too easily. Despite his charms and the way he's with you now, Chenle was great in the first years of the relationship, but there's nothing you can do when everything is worn out.

Much of sustaining this situation came from the support of your best friend. Anton was always very positive about the relationship from the beginning, even if from time to time he tried to point out certain things that seemed too wrong. his complacency would never be able to tell you directly that Chenle was a fucking asshole and didn't deserve your attention in any way, your forgiveness or even your desire to save that relationship.

Which would also be a mistaken thought on his part, you were accommodating, and would remain there if you were going to depend on Chenle and his lack of equal disposition, in technical and correct terms, you deserved each other, that relationship was rubbish and neither of you seemed to get along.

In any case, having a friend like Anton was a privilege that you would give yourself until the end, his participation in this relationship was integral, from the first hook-up to the request for an official, extravagant date, the first fights and disagreements, distrust, jealousy , detreatment. When you cried, he was the one who was with you to help you, regardless of everything, in the end it would be the two of you trying to help each other and it may sound wrong, which in fact it was, but Anton was very good to you.

You had fought again. What was supposed to be a weekend date turned into a horror show and Chenle just left without saying anything, leaving you abandoned. The desire to tell everyone to fuck off was stuck in your throat from early on, the lack of enthusiasm, despite Halloween having passed, some parties were still going on, you were in the comfort of your bed and your cell phone was beeping non-stop, it was Anton, whining about not wanting alone.

"Fuck it, y/n, when was the last time we hung out?" The delicate tone of Anton's voice made you laugh, he was adorable, a very present friend, you loved him from the bottom of your heart, alluding to the way your boyfriend always hated him - "I hate tall men, none of them are any good" - you should having imagined imminent envy, reaching the point where he even tried to make you move away, something that didn't work, it was too difficult for you to live without Anton and over time and Chenle just gave up, as he did with everything that had to do with you and that relationship

"I don't know, Anton, I'm not in the mood" you whimpered, looking at the costume you had agreed with him to go, you as an angel and him as a black angel, it wasn't a big deal, but he seemed very offended. "Chenle won't go"

"I don't care, honestly, this is one of the last parties you'll have, let's go" he was still in the comfort of his own room, adjusting his clothes in front of the mirror, waiting for you to say something "So you are going?"

You pondered, not in dead silence, your body dumped on the bed, you found yourself thinking about the last time you could have fun like this, the costume you could wear, even the friends you hadn't seen for so long, it would be cool, you could go out better than expected, so what did it cost? Anton was already so willing to make this move forward and he wouldn't give up for anything, much less like it if by chance it wasn't

"Yes, Anton, just give me some time so I can get ready." You grumbled leaving your comfort, after going to the bathroom.

"Half an hour and I'm ready"

You didn't wait for him to say anything, you hung up immediately, taking off your clothes to go straight to the shower. At certain points you couldn't deny the fact that you rarely did things for you, Chenle was in other places, other parties with his friends, so for you to have the right to do the same wasn't unreasonable, it had been for some time. You didn't care about the types of eyes that directed you around college, there was nothing new, so you gave yourself this opportunity to just go out with someone you actually like.

You got ready quickly, the white clothes followed by angel wings, the halo on your head, the makeup in shades of white and silver, you looked beautiful, radiant, so pleasant to see that you got a little excited to go to the party and like a divine sign the cell phone vibrated, they had arrived and you just grabbed your things and got out, running to the sidewalk where you found Eunseok in the driver's seat.

“Hey y/n, how are things going?” He rests his arm on the window next to him and you smile. Eunseok was a funny figure, you should remember to get his number for a friend of yours from college, according to Anton he's not the type to get along with people, It would be interesting to make a small investment for a close friend.

“Well, I would say,” you replied, opening the passenger door and getting in, looking to the side as a body emerged from the back seat to lean against those in front. Black clothes, black wings, horns, makeup in shades of black and brown, Anton looked very handsome in that costume, even more so than you, and you can easily admit it.

“Hey baby” he smiled and you smiled back.

“Hey” you replied

"So does that mean that today y/n is single?" Eunseok asked, starting the car, taking to the empty streets of an early Friday night, the weather was mild, not too hot, not too cold, you like it, it's comfortable.

"Single? O- oh I didn't understand well" you commented trying to free yourself

"Hyung, you can't pressure people like that" Anton commented with a suggestive smile. "Let's just assume so…"

"I found out he's on the other side of the city, you know, these guys who hang out with him are a little out of the box." Eunseok added, demonstrating his total dissatisfaction with the presence of Chenle and his noisy friends "a lot of money for a small size, maybe that's why he doesn't like Anton"

"Not really, Chenle just being…Chenle, you know?" You tried to get around the subject, you knew that none of them were willing to answer and that's why you just left it alone, that silence was enough to tell you that everything sounded wrong even to outsiders, inside you it seemed even more difficult to discern. the frustrated relationship that took place.

You got out of the car when it stopped, loud music, lots of people, you followed the flow inside with your friends, everyone had been there having fun apparently for over an hour on end, Wonbin smiled at you in the Lobby polite as always and he followed destiny close to Shotaro, handing him another drink. You followed Anton to the kitchen and Eunseok slipped closer to Sungchan. You handpicked the flavor of the energy drink that would accompany the vodka and then mixed it, making Anton breathe out in a relaxed laugh.

"Wow Y/n, you really aren't joking around today" Anton poured himself a beer, patting it on his body to toast and brought it to his lips to take a good sip."let your rich boy know this"

"I don't feel like talking about my relationship, Chanyoung, let's just enjoy it" You don't hesitate to say, your cell phone was in Chanyoung's pocket, who apparently had a higher alcohol capacity than yours, so you wouldn't have to bother to check calls and messages that would not arrive. That whole facade wouldn't be maintained by you and everyone who stopped by to take a look at you unaccompanied already proved that you would have a huge headache, but that they certainly didn't worry about that today.

"You're in charge " He said politely, leaning against the counter and then you went in to drink. Several flavors mixed with , a horrible combination that ran your system fast.

You knew it was an exaggeration, you were with Chanyoung all this time, talking about the week, about that flirtation he had and didn't work out, about the other boys' lives which, as always, were too busy for you to keep up with. You missed them, being with them without your egocentric boyfriend getting involved and you even considered breaking up in the middle of this conversation you were having, seeing how much more happy could be away from that.

A short time later Eunseok reappears suggesting beerpong and you move to the living room, first competitors Sohee and Seunghan were at the end of the round when Seunghan couldn't handle the pressure of the beer and gave up. You laughed quietly at the other's lack of firm grip and signed Sohee to have his victorious man dance.

The music was very loud, at this point. you entered the match with Shotaro, luckily in the first rounds you had the advantage, but soon the number of times you drank increased, a lot of beer in your system, you were never good at containing the alcohol content when it comes to beer, so it doesn't take too long to weigh. However, far from giving up on the game he had started, it was a matter of principle.

"Take it easy, we've just arrived" Anton policed you very quickly, he knew you weren't taking it easy, but you didn't listen, as always, stubbornness was getting to your head, you were so frustrated that you didn't even notice that, you start to lose the control.

It had been a long time since you talked to them and how excited they all seemed to be in your presence. It's all to new to you understand that you're discounting your feelings in alcohol and you don't need to Anton to warning you about that.

"Do you see y/n drinking more than you hyung? Will drop?" Commented Sungchan next to you, looking at Shotaro's upset figure

"You will never take my post, y/n! " Shotaro had the determination and the will…but he certainly didn't have the stomach.

After the game that you won at the cost of a lot, you took your destiny to the dance floor, you had already lost your friends and took body to dance, let the sweat carry the alcohol out, but the more it danced, it seemed to rise and it left you dizzy.

You saw Wonbin making out with someone in the right corner, he escaped very early to be exact and you just laughed, seeing little by little everyone dispersed to their respective interests, Your skin was numb and your eyes were closed, you were immersed, when Anton passed through the crowd and found you to join, you smiled and approached him

"I was looking for you" He bent down to quote in your ear, with that you hugged him.

"I'm here, darling!" you replied, pulling him to dance with you. Anton laughed casually, he held you so you wouldn't fall, you could smell his alcohol too, which was funny, because he was so firm, so firm in his attitude,but also so friendly , if your boyfriend was half that maybe you wouldn't feel so upset.

"You shouldn't exaggerate so much y/n..."Anton started a little worried, a little drunk, but sure of what he was doing, he grabbed your body by the waist, keeping you firmly close to his.

Yes you were going insane, your neuron didn't want to share the information anymore, this whole thing about dancing with Chanyoung was going to spread around the campus and you knew what would happen, but it was actually good, just for Chenle who didn't even think twice about leaving you in house planted to go to a party. As always, you would not treat it with due proportions.

"Don't tell me what to do too~...I...I'm fed up with this " You complained with a choked voice, taking advantage of the contrast to slower music and laid your head on his shoulder

"Sorry" Anton caught the rhythm of your body, letting you rock slowly, in silence for as long as you preferred. His cologne mixed with your perfume, you were trapped in your world like Anton always tried to do.

"Are you okay? I think I want to go home " You couldn't have stayed there for more than four hours, and now you knew you had exaggerated too much, but it was worth the experience of enjoying yourself with your friends, even if it was just for a while. "You can call a taxi for me...I'll come back alone."

"Hm? No, I'm going with you, I think Eunseok hyung is leaving too " Anton said quietly, awkwardly and then you took your destination outside, finding Eunseok intact waiting in the car. "You know that I don't party alone, even though you abandoned me in the last few months"

"I didn't abandon..." You whispered near the vehicle, you had no way of justifying yourself and you wouldn't, you wouldn't have that condition or that courage, not when it comes to Anton and his surgical tongue.

"I will never come driving again! You guys are just a lot of work " Eunseok hadn't put a drop of alcohol in his mouth, he was and upset about having to go to the trouble of serving as an Uber for all his friends in all party they go "See, even Y/n drank..."

In the end, all destinies end there, Sohee was in the front seat, behind there were seunghan, sungchan, shotaro, with only one space left.

"There's no space " You said tearfully.

"Go on in Chanyoung's lap!" Shotaro commented in a clear intoxication "I'm in a hurry"

"Okay~" You mumbled "Anton ~come in"

"But…"He replied

"Come in!" You demanded, he entered and you followed, sitting awkwardly on his lap. With hands adorning your hips to keep you in place, you then slammed the door.

"Y/n, does your boyfriend know you're sitting on someone else's lap?" Sohee said from the front seat.

"Chanyoung are my friend, nothing more than that" You said back, feeling the car start to ride

"Even so, I don't know if I would like it very much" Sohee continued to joke.

"It doesn't make any difference...any...for him " You said upset, cutting the joking atmosphere even without your intention. Anton pulled you subtly trying to comfort you.

"Okay, sorry, let's just go" Sohee snuggled into the seat and you started off in that silence. Anton was a little too immersive, the alcohol started to rise in earnest as the vehicle rocked, which left him too caught up in the idea of you being so comfortable on his lap, which wasn't right, but the subtle flavor of that prohibition It started to make him want to walk around with intentions he didn't have with you.

The long fingers on your hips, you weren't fitted into him, but he had noticed your ass showing through your clothes, he could just pull himself a little to feel you, nothing big, it wasn't like Chenle would find out, just a test, just once. You were never this close, for you to allow him to touch you freely, to give him the approval to squeeze your hips so precisely and subtly pull you on top of him. You gave in with your body limp, spinning, you smiled, snuggling, thinking it was his method of keeping you safe, but you were hyperventilating, the pressure of your body threw Anton into another dimension, his head spinning non-stop with the information that he could make you his so easily, but a poorly thought out idea, harshly cut off when the car stopped.

"We have arrived " The cut was dry, Eunseok stopped in front of his house and then Anton returned to reality, a little shy due to the condition, but letting go of you so he could open the door.

"I'm going to leave y/n at home" Anton commented, as you opened the car door, getting out disoriented, you turned to the door and bowed to everyone.

"Thanks for the ride!" You said choked up, waving your hand at everyone.

"Be careful, you two" Eunseok guided more as a friend than anything. Anton waved his hand and left too, slamming the door, now you walked arm in arm into the house. A comfortable silence, the night seemed very beautiful, you stopped at the door to enter when Anton walked away. Right now was where he drew the line, he didn't know what could happen if he had the brilliant idea of entering.

"What? "You asked.

"I'm going home" he dictated

"No...chanyoung stays here with me today...no one is home"you said, accentuating the problem

"Y/n I can't " he said

"Yes you can, just come...I don't want to be alone, you can sleep in the guest room" You said, leaving the door open for him. Anton trembled, he knew he shouldn't, he looked from one side to the other, grunted and then went inside, locking the door as he did so.

You directed him to the guest room, next to yours, handed over some of your dad's pajamas that could fit and then fled to your room. Trembling with the discomfort between your legs, Anton's pushing and pulling in the car caused more than a few mixed feelings, and even though he thought you hadn't noticed, you clearly felt each and every action he had taken at the first opportunity.

When the situation is not conducive, it will pass with a painful slowness, the one that tortures, you made your way to the room, you were on your bed, looking at the window, the alcohol was still in your system, you saw everything slightly blurred, frustration, sadness , anger, you just wanted to cry, you were feeling guilty for going out without your boyfriend, for being so horny because of anton attitudes, for let him sleep in your house and besides all that your cell phone without a single notification. Stories, photos, videos, everything about how Chenlee seemed too satisfied to remember that he had a partner, you were tired, drained in that relationship curse, but still without any ability to say goodbye. You swallowed your tears, got out of your bed, your bare feet, like cat's paws, went to the next room, you went in, Anton wasn't sleeping, his eyes met yours, in your expectation, in your cluelessness . But messing up your feelings wanted to push you towards the easy feeling that your best friend causes in you.

"Did something happen? " He asked as you approached.

"No" You stammered

"Are you sure? " Anton questions once again, you push him with your body and then lie down next to him, at first reluctantly he held your arm. "Y/n, no, you can't"

You laughed mockingly, hugged Anton's body and adjusted the blanket between your bodies.

"Who cares? " You asked

"You know the answer well, I'm your friend, it shouldn't be like that " He had a delicate tone of voice, low, whenever it sounded too close to your ears it made your skin crawl, for different sensations, you liked it more than that would admit it. " We drank too much, you should go back to your room."

"Hm...yes, you're always so good to me, Chanyoung, but I'm not interested in leaving here" You hugged him tightly, Anton on the defensive, you had definitely gone crazy, overlooking his thoughtless decisions. Anton was always handsome, you never denied it, your head out of place denouncing the shit you were willing to do to get rid of the situation of being left aside " Could you kiss me?"

"What?' Anton was avoiding looking at you and you knew what that was.

"Why not? You seemed to like the car, as I was on top of you" You played, induced, put a leg around his torso, climbed up, stopping on his lap "Do you like me?"

"n-no " Anton snorted, he didn't want to let out that intrusive feeling of yours, but you were ready to win. "I don't know what you're talking about..."

"It's only us here, no one will know, Anton" You sighed and leaned towards him " Let's cheat a little , show me what he will never be able to do. I can be whatever you want me to be."

You had definitely lost your mind, if before Eunseok's warnings didn't seem to make sense, now they did, the faces close in a microspace, hot, strong, the silence was significant, Anton grabbed you with an overwhelming force, putting you to lie down in bed. You couldn't, you shouldn't, but he saw in the depth of your gaze just as he felt his own body vibrate at the mention.

"Okay, let's cheat" He started with your neck, open mouth kisses, his tongue sliding down your neck, you moaned softly, he was too big to fit between your legs for sure. Your fingers clung to the strands of his hair, holding on to the desperation of that feeling, Anton didn't kiss your mouth as he wanted, he didn't mark your neck as he wanted, despite his drunkenness, he was sure of that, his big hands digging into your pajamas in search of the your chest exposed to play with, your nipples hard, you had been wet since before, which betrays your anticipation.

The pinch was subtle in tone, you were moaning so delicately, so beautiful, the sensitive body of someone who hadn't been touched in so long, his hips against yours simulating thrusts, Anton wondered what the hell was getting involved even though the hand was already trying to remove your t-shirt and leave you naked from the torso up.

The sensation of the exposed body made your skin crawl, hidden under the semi-darkness of the room you began to lose yourself in the intrusive idea “if he were you maybe I would be happier” completely wrong, distorted, the alcohol that hadn't even left the system wanting pushing the pleasure down your throat, you trembled at the feeling of his fingers touching your nipple, the kiss on your neck marking the skin superficially, tongue slipping between your chest and running to one of your nipples, circling, sucking, your moan sending good vibrations to Anton lost his temper at the first sensation of his dick hurting inside his clothes.

You felt him hard touching your body through your pajamas, now raw, desperate, you were ready for the consequences for everything, because you knew well in your unconscious mind that regret wouldn't be something you would feel fully, not in these conditions, not when it was Anton give in so sweetly. Sighing and grunting in that way that was so sly and yet firm enough to make you want him inside you so desperately.

He hovered over you, Anton wanted to kiss you, show you, but even drunk he knew where to put the shit he did. His hand invaded your shorts with a wealth of precision, you felt your insides compress, you moaned at the top of your lungs when he began to play with your pussy, his long, firm fingers making trails that not even you alone were capable of making, leaving sensations and moans along the way, you were so wet that Anton's fingers were getting lost, slipping easily between your lips, your entrance, applying pressure, but without penetrating, going up again to your button to circle and press.

“Feels good….oh-oh chanyoung, please” you were losing your voice, he loved your drunken desperation, how now it didn’t make any difference because you were already over the limit anyway. Eyes dark with pure desire, he smiled at you.

“What kind of situation did you put yourself in, right?” He had won, whatever the comparison was, it wouldn't make any difference, he would make you his person, his partner, no matter who, what method, Anton would now make you uniquely his, as if he were a wolf in a lamb's clothing all this time, lurking for the opportunity, he would take you out of chenle's arms, he would make you slip into his arms, once and for all, because in your life there was never anyone more ideal than him for this role.

“Just fuck me already” you whimpered, squirming against Anton's arms, his fingers fingering you like an instrument, focused on different points, soon he got tired of playing, to pull your already out of use clothes, he left with an ease he never imagined he would have. The clothes making their way to the floor, he did the same to him, his head dizzy, you body realized what was about to happen , when you visualized him putting on the condom so responsible you felt everything start to get lost inside you, you didn't seem worried at all, just as drunk, you needed to recover from your heavy breathing. he was between your legs, and then he entered you as if he already knew the way, the drawn out moan ran through your lips you were consummating, he began to fuck you slowly.

You pulled Anton to you carefully , kisses all over his face, making him tremble eager to feel your lips, but to no avail, you slipped to his earlobe where you kissed the pretty earring and hugged him, feeling him fill inside and the response come out through your lips directly to his ears.

He let his arm waver, his body gave in to you tremblingly, his hips were frequent, rhythmic thrusts, for him to understand the waters, and little by little you began to synchronize.

Your fingers went into the strands of his hair, which you began to pull, he, on the other hand, raised his hips with more force, accelerating, his lips harmonizing gibberish, meaningless moans, the dim light gave a vague mention of the bodies nestled together, shiny, the heat made the skin sweat, the feeling of stuffiness rising.

The tension was increasing, Anton kept his arms resting on the side of your face, even though he felt very ashamed he wanted to see on your face everything you had to spill, how good he was doing you to the point that tears appeared in the corner of your eyes, your body was reacting quickly, the frames were beating, you bit your lip desperately, a little off your axis, you closed your eyes feeling everything explode, your lips letting out loud meows for Anton, he was satisfied, nothing nothing difference, now that you got where you wanted, he would just take it until the end, putting his body upright to open your legs and hold you, at that moment he was fucking you so hard that you forgot you had just had an orgasm, your body was That's it, he went deep, grumbling at your nasal tone and then he too lost himself in the immensity, reaching his limit, feeling his body much more drunk than before, Anton left you and fell to the side, leaving both your bodies Breathing, eyes static, you wouldn't say anything, shouldn't, couldn't make the condition worse.

You didn't even notice when you fell asleep, you were too drunk, your body was tired, you felt like you were in a dream and if only you could barely open your eyes when you woke up again, sunlight coming through the crack, you were alone, but the feeling it was there, you looked at the clock, it was Sunday, so you were fine, the issue was everything else, your body without clothes, headaches, body aches, and the first flash.

"Shit." you mumbled, you turned in bed from one side to the other aimlessly, your naked body covered by the sheets, your fingers wandered over the thin fabric, your eyes fixed on the window, without completely understanding, you brought the piece of fabric to your face and felt it. His smell and that made you want to cry, for having been stupid enough to let this happen, having played with a friendship and that most likely everything would have been destroyed. But the inescapable way he made you feel after fucking you in the height of desperation, there was no way of knowing where it came from, nor where it would go, but you were feeling the thin line between you and Anton collapsing, bursting, as if that friendship was nothing more than a stupid excuse to keep him close…you felt horrible.

You were in the middle of your moral collapse, thinking about all the decisions you've made in life when the doorbell rang. You considered pretending not to be at home, but you were persistent, so you got up, picked up your clothes from the floor and put them on, bitterly, you left the room and walked slowly to the entrance of your house, not in the mood to talk, considering you were a neighbor on the door and then a large bouquet of sunflowers. The smell of grass came straight to your nose, making it itch, you felt anxious, it seemed like he had the gift of smelling trouble, with that he emerged from behind the smiling man, his face heavy with a hangover, damn Chenle and the perfect timing, your body still memorized from the fuck you received earlier and him in front of you, like your boyfriend ready for reconciliation. You found yourself desperate inside.

“I came to see you and I brought a gift" he said.

#Riize smut #Riize imagines #Riize hard hours #Anton smut #Anton hard hours #Anton imagines #anton x reader #riize x reader

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bykshre · 2 months

Text

STILL WITH YOU ll 02

CHAPTER 02 // song - August, Taylor Swift

➥ 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : CEO Jungkook x Head Of Department Y/N

➥𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 10,130

➥𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 : 7 years ago, you and jungkook broke up after a long-term relationship in high school and college. Never have you ever thought that one day, you would reunite with your ex-lover or the guy you once believed was the love of your life. What does fate hold for the both of you?

➥ 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞/𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐬 : exes to lovers, angst, slow burn, grumpyxsunshine, a second chance.

➥ 𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 : M

➥ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : curses, alcohol, jk is fuckboy, unresolved emotions, trauma, extreme emotions, backstabbers... (not all of these are included in this chapter)

01 ll 02 ll 03 ll ongoing series

As the morning sun timidly seeped through the curtains, you reluctantly opened your eyes, greeted by the harsh reality of a pounding headache. The remnants of a restless night clung to your senses, and you groggily fumbled for the snooze button on the blaring alarm. As you reached for the snooze button, the weight of knowing you probably tainted Jimin's day with your usual tales of heartbreak settled heavily on your conscience.

You feel like shit right now because of your hangover though you do get up after swallowing 2 painkillers that were placed beside your bed with a glass of water. You are very grateful for having Jimin as your roommate- Jimin's angelic presence is a treasure you never want to lose from your life. He has given nothing but empathy, compassion, comfort, solace, advice and never-ending "big-bro" talk to you that you are very grateful for even though you may not show it and perhaps occasionally roll your eyes when he gives you the pep talks.

Realising it's almost 6.00 a.m., you hastily iron your classic pencil skirt and a pink blouse that had wrinkled up as you tend to be disorganised (sometimes) while you wait for the throbbing headache to subside. Working for JKH MedTech was great for you - your boss is a sweetheart elderly man you regard as your late grandfather. So arriving late wasn't going to be a big issue as your working space has always been filled with adoration, laughs and supportiveness in projects and every way.

You rarely arrive late as you have always been a morning person. You wake up at 4 in the morning every day... a pattern you've been practising since high school, something Jungkook very well knows. There's some undefinable feeling about waking up early, enjoying the tranquillity before the storm, finalising reports and relishing a cup of coffee in the morning.

Meanwhile, on the flip side of the city, Jungkook was waking up with a different kind of passion, barring the feelings he was going through last night and ready to conquer the day with a new project at JKH Tech. Something that he's been working on for years to finalize- to take over the CEO position and integrate JKH MedTech with JJK MedTech. Unaware of the parallel narratives unfolding.

7.00 a.m.

You step into the luxurious reception hall, where you are always welcomed and greeted nicely. The receptionist greets you with a warm smile while you greet them back. You enter the lift, and as the doors glide shut, you feel the subtle vibration signalling the ascent. The digital display above the doors blinks with each passing floor until it settles on the familiar number - 52. The lift slows to a halt, and as the doors part, you step out into your workplace, ready to face the day on the 52nd floor.

"Good morning, Y/N. Are you okay? I hope everything's alright because you rarely arrive this late." Your boss said with a concerned expression.

"Ah, not to worry, Jaehyun, everything's fine... just a little hangover." You laugh off.

"Today is going to be quite hectic as we're hosting our new merger for discussions and deals. Please refrain from pushing too hard on the new project for now, as there are more pressing office deals that require our attention. Additionally, I may need your assistance with a few tasks, given that this old man's brain tends to have its off days. For the time being, everything is to be kept under wraps, and we'll update you all once we've reached a conclusion. I hope that clarifies things."

You bid him goodbye with a good luck sign to wish him all the best in the negotiations and continue with your daily routine. You wonder what is going on behind the scenes with the negotiation deals. Nevertheless, you hope the company gets a good outcome.

7.30a.m.

In the back of a sleek black sedan, Jungkook absorbed a brief from his assistant while his driver navigated the city. Dressed sharply, he focused on the day's agenda of meetings and strategic moves. The luxury car moved through the urban landscape, carrying the anticipation of crucial decisions.

As he approached the entrance of JKH Tech, the glass doors slid open, ushering him into a realm where ideas took flight and were greeted by your very own boss, Mr Daehyun. Unbeknownst to him, on another floor of the facility, you were on your own trajectory, oblivious that your paths would intersect within the confines of the exact workplace.

To say the least, Jungkook was astonished with this company's architecture, formality and service. He has never stepped foot into this building before. This is because the previous negotiations have always been done at his own empire, JJK MedTech. Causing your boss to always have trips there. His presence today hinges solely on the fact that it's a deal-breaker moment. Intrigued by the place's reputation for fostering breakthroughs, he's here to witness its unique qualities and faculty firsthand.

As Jungkook makes his way up to the boardroom on the 53rd floor, a floor above you, he feels something in the pit of his stomach, a subtle shake that was indescribable forming. The elevator's ascent seemed to echo the rise of expectations, and Jungkook, momentarily captivated, couldn't quite pinpoint the source of the sensation. Nevertheless, despite the momentary distraction, he managed to shake himself out of it.

On the other hand, you were arranging and decorating the 53rd-floor main entrance just a few moments before your once-lover made it to the boardroom. Could that be why Jungkook experienced a subtle shift while navigating the building?

Whilst the boardroom was in the act, you and Jimin caught up at the nearby café. You felt excessively sorry knowing you tainted Jimin's day with your usual tales of heartbreak. Jimin's a gem - rare to find. His observance is the best part of him... he notices the slightest details and treats you well with unwavering love. One spontaneous Friday night, he surprised you with a box of dumplings after noticing your craving. Despite the hefty salary from JKH for your top-rated service and intelligence, he recognized your disciplined approach to saving money for the future. The act of bringing you the dumplings wasn't just about fulfilling a momentary desire but also a testament to his understanding of your priorities and a sweet reminder sometimes, it's okay to indulge in the present.

"Hey Jimin, I hope you didn't mind yesterday's drama. I'm genuinely sorry for whatever I unconsciously said...thank you for staying with me. I really appreciate your kindness." You said to Jimin while sipping on a cup of cold coffee.

"Y/n... I told you countless times that it's fine with me. You don't need to apologize, okay? Your sentiments are valid. I respect that." He said while enfolding you in his embrace. You both transmit the same admiration for each other and eternally will be there for each other under any circumstances. That's all that matters. "Thank you, Jiminie, I love you...forever."

"Madam Y/N, are you falling for this handsome man. OMG NEWSFLASH: Y/N HAS A CRUSH ON THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME, MOST HANDSOME MAN IN THIS WORLD, PARK JIMIN!!" He said teasingly.

"Shut the fuck up FuckBoy Jimin!" You laughed, playfully dismissing his teasing with a fond expletive.

The teasing and companionship come to a hasty halt as Jimin receives a call summoning him to the 53rd-floor boardroom. The same one in which the big bosses usually conduct influential business deals, which includes Jungkook today. The air shifted, and the lighthearted exchange gave way to a more serious atmosphere. Jimin is JKH's CEO's secondary assistant in business affairs... which doesn't require him to be involved in most deals or affairs. This was undoubtedly serious.

You both split as you ascended to the 52nd floor while Jimin continued his journey to the highest floor at number 53. You were definitely worried, not sure of the reason for what happened and how Jimin was involved. You are also worried about the outcome of JKH. Imagine having no idea of a deal, not knowing what's going on, everything kept hidden and away from the faculty. You choose not to listen to the rumour that the company is to be taken over or merged. You have worked with JKH for 6 years and have complete faith in them. Whatever that's finalized is their choice.

You distract yourself by occupying yourself with more work. The sounds of keystrokes and document fills the silence in the air. Despite the intensity of your focus, you couldn't shake the occasional glances at your phone, yearning for updates from the boardroom and the unfolding events.

The takeover discussions were a delicate dance, strategic manoeuvring of resources and power dynamics. Jungkook presence commanded attention, and sharp intellect was apparent in every estimated move. As Jimin sat in the boardroom hashing out deals, his eyes landed on Mr. Jeon. There was a sense of familiarity, just from Y/N's stories. Jimin tried to recall where he might've seen Mr. Jeon in Y/N's old pictures, but the details were a bit hazy.

3p.m.

As the negotiation peaked, Jungkook was officially pronounced as the CEO of JKH+JJK MedTech. A deal-breaking that produced a piece of revolutionary news in the medical technology world. JKH MedTech has been bought over after bagging a 900 Million dollar deal.

Amidst the corporate whirlwind, Jimin sensed a shift in his role, surpassing the boundaries of colleague and friend. As change rippled through JKH+JJK MedTech, Jimin found himself on the verge of unknown territory, contemplating the new chapters ahead alongside the newly appointed CEO, Mr Jeon.

As the news settled, Jimin found himself piecing together the puzzle of Jungkook's identity. Memories of Y/N's stories and glimpses from old pictures entangled, creating a clearer picture of the man. In quiet moments, Jimin reflected on the enigma that was Jungkook. He wondered about the experiences and motivations that led him to mastermind such an influential takeover.

The journey of unravelling the layers of Mr Jeon had just begun, leaving Jimin in anticipation of the implicit narratives that lay beneath the polished facade. Jimin decided to keep the newfound information to himself for the time being. Despite the revelations in the boardroom, Jimin doesn't want to immediately share with Y/N the significant role of her ex, Jungkook. Understanding the personal connections, Jimin decided to allow Y/N the space to process the changes without the immediate weight of this revelation.

As for Jungkook, he's satisfied with his pristine accomplishment. The year's worth of drudgery has finally blossomed, and he can't feel as satisfactory as he is now. Yet, there's more anticipation boiling in the pit of his stomach that there is still something else he's been yearning for, is here. Somehow, that sensation leads him to a scent. A familiar scent.

Little did he know, his ex-lover stepped into the main cubicle, the epicentre of daily activities, just a foot apart from the boardroom, to hand in a few reports. The only reason you made your way up to the 53rd floor was to hand in the monthly reports of your department. This was a monthly routine for all heads of departments, and you're not an exemption.

Jungkook convinced himself he was being delusional and shook the weird thoughts out of his brain. He coughed and continued his speech, "Good evening to all the staff and faculty involved in this deal. I would like to express my sincere appreciation for your hard work and dedication. As a token of gratitude, I've arranged a little gift for each of you. Keep an eye on your emails; you'll find details on how to redeem it there. Thank you once again for your outstanding efforts. Oh yes, don't worry, beloved staff. While I may be strict during work, there's nothing to worry about outside of that. Have a great day."

As the office continues to empty, Jungkook, the unannounced new CEO, decided to call it a day and head home . As he entered the same lift, he once again got reminded of a specific scent when he took a whiff of it. A detailed aroma of someone, something he had known for years. You took this lift down to your floor just 10 minutes ago. By this time, your perfume scent would've faded but, Jungkook found himself captivated by the familiar fragrance that still clung to the air.

The proximity of their paths remained unknown to both, setting the stage for an unexpected encounter that held the potential to redefine the narratives of their intertwined histories.

5. p.m.

Fuckboy 😘🙄😧

Let's go back home together

Wait for me in the lobby 😘

You couldn't help but giggle at the chat message from Jimin, especially with his enthusiastic use of the '😘' emoji.

"Hey Minie, how did it go? Is everything alright? Are YOU alright? What's the decision? SPILL NOW!" The rapid-fire delivery of your thoughts left Jimin in stitches, and unable to contain his laughter, he dropped to the floor.

"Whoa, dude calm the fuck down, can you? Everything went well. Oh yeah, great news: I didn't lose my job. Um... the entire news will be informed in a few days. Man, I don't even know anything. Don't fucking ask me! Also, when the fuck were you this concerned about me? It's hilarious, Y/N. And I think that you've actually got a crush on me." He replied. "Sorry man, I kinda think I'm falling for you too." You said with a flirtatious tone. Despite the uncertainties, Jimin held onto the hope that this connection, filled with genuine moments and laughter, could be the anchor that steered them through whatever twists lay ahead.

There was a reason why Jimin didn't want to tell you anything. He prioritises your feelings and past relationships; he doesn't want to ruin your undying sanity. He wants you to act maturely when the story of the new CEO unfolds. He doesn't want to ever be involved with his friend's issues and wants to protect their peace. In his actions, he sought to shield you from unnecessary stress and maintain the tranquillity within your circle of connections.

As Jungkook neared his car, he noticed Jimin, the CEO's second assistant, and the mysterious woman getting into a vehicle together. The quiet evening amplified the sense of mystery as the car doors clicked shut. The soft glow from the car's interior painted a silhouette of intrigue. Jungkook, unsure about the woman's identity, felt a twinge of curiosity. Despite the intrigue of the moment, Jungkook chose not to dwell on the bizarre encounter.

While you and Jimin enjoyed a satisfactory bowl of cold noodles at home to end the day. In the quiet solitude of his car, the contrast between the routine of the road and the mystery of the evening played out on Jungkook's features. A simple drive through the illuminated city became a backdrop for the swirling reflections within. Curiosity warred with caution, leaving him at a crossroads. The road ahead blurred with the glow of streetlights, mirroring the anticipation that hung in the air. Jungkook's feelings, like the city's rhythm outside, hinted at a story yet to develop in the tranquil corners of the night.

Although he felt satisfied with the day, there was a lingering void in Jungkook's heart. The achievements and triumphs didn't fill an emotional gap. Despite the city lights passing by, a subtle ache remained beneath his content exterior, yearning for something more.

10p.m.

While nestled in the comfort of your bed, your very own cocoon, with a journal in your hands, you penned down the details of your day and reflected on it wisely. The soft glow of your bedside lamp painted a tranquil setting as you poured your reflections onto the pages. Today caught you off guard with unexpected waves of emotion and flashbacks. No, you didn't want to be reminded of your ex. You didn't foresee navigating through today with a heavy soul. Everything about today reminded you about Jungkook, someone who you loved. You've never been as unhappy or heartbroken as you are today. In fact, you were never reminded of him ever since 6 years ago. It's just that for the past 2 days, you've been getting a lot of reminders of him, his presence with multiple indications.

Call yourself crazy... you swore to yourself you could smell him today. You felt his presence. When you went to the 53rd floor to hand in the reports, a distinctive scent of someone you used to know wafted through the atmosphere. Despite its subtlety, the lingering aroma clung to the surroundings, a nostalgic echo that left you wondering if the past had briefly brushed against the present. But then again, anyone else could have owned the same perfume. Maybe you are just overthinking.

"Hey crush, can I enter?" Jimin chuckles while making his way to you.

"Hmm, sure, min." you hum as he sits beside you. "So... what's this rare occurrence about? Don't you fuck yourself at this hour, Mr Perfect Sculptured Body?" you giggle.

"Nah, already did that. Just came to check on you today. You must be so tired...did you sleep well last night?" he asked with concern.

"Woke up a hangover, that's all. How was your day, Minnie? You must be extremely exhausted as well. Why don't you sleep early today? It will help you for tomorrow's journey... I heard you've still got some things to do tomorrow. Heard it from the gossip gang." you state.

"Yeah, I should. Take care, Y/N, goodnight. You only heard that from the gossip gang, right?" he asked you cautiously as he earned a hum from you.

At least he was relieved that you weren't aware of anything else circulating in the boardroom. While not everyone knew about your ex's presence, the fear of potential leaks regarding the boardroom matters, especially Mr. Jeon's unexpected appearance, still lingered in the air.

"Goodnight."

"Night."

"Hyung-ah, are you proud of me? I'm officially the CEO of JKH MedTech. That bastard definitely poured and sucked my whole energy today...he wanted a billion! Thank god I managed to negotiate! Anyway, I really don't know if I'm hallucinating or being delusional because I felt her presence today, her scent. My brain's kind of fucked now." Jungkook explained his day to his elder brother, Seokjin.

"Yeah, Kookie, I'm very proud of you...we all are. Jungkook-ah, listen to me, that perfume scent isn't just for her... she isn't the only one wearing it. It could be anyone using it. Please calm down, kook... I don't need you to be in this state. You are officially the CEO of JKH MedTech, soon to be JJK MedTech. You need to be focused and keep your priorities straight. I hope you understood my message." He says, earning a hum from his younger brother.

"Alright, Hyung. I feel like a complete idiot, don't I? Anyhow, I need you to come to my office tomorrow to transfer rights. I trust you completely to handle JJK MedTech. You've been the vice president for far too long; it's about time you take the reins as CEO." Jungkook explains to his elder brother that he can't retain the CEO position for 2 whole establishments. Therefore, Seokjin has been appointed to operate the main centre while Jungkook directs the newly bought/merged JKH MedTech.

As the night falls, Jungkook returns to the solace of his home, seeking comfort in the familiar. The soft glow of city lights casts an ethereal atmosphere. As he opens his sketchbook, the pages unfold an illustrated description of your relationship. His sketches capture joyous moments, frustration, and the undeniable chemistry that defines your connection. The inked lines on paper convey a tale of two souls entangled, steering the highs and lows of love.

Making his way to the window, Jungkook reflects on the city lights below. In the quiet moments, he confronts the ghost of arguments past, accepting the lessons learned and the maturation that emerged from the friction between you.

Morning arrives, bringing a fresh start for both Jungkook and you. Jungkook wakes up to the gentle sunlight filtering through his curtain. Meanwhile, on the other side of the city, you are already outfitted and glad to embark on a fresh day. The rhythmic buzz of the city's morning rush escorts you as you steer through congested streets and busy intersections. The scent of street vendors' offerings mingles with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee from nearby cafes, defining the city's morning rhythm.

As Jungkook prepares for his last day as a CEO at JJK MedTech, he prepares important documents to finalize the rights over JKH MedTech. Despite feeling saddened by the prospect of leaving the company – his own empire that he mightily built – Jungkook willingly embraces this decision, recognizing the necessity of this new chapter in his professional journey. He believes his role at JKH MedTech will be crucial in producing high-quality service and medical innovations.

"Kookie, you wanted to see me?" says the vice-president, Seokjin also known as his older brother.

"Yes, Hyung, I wanted to say a few things to you privately. How do I start? Your leadership has been a guiding force, shaping the company's success and also my own growth. Your wisdom, dedication, and genuine care for the team have left a memorable mark. I want to personally thank you for being more than a mentor and a brother. Your support has been unwavering, and I am grateful for the opportunities and insights you've shared. The trust you've placed in me has been a driving force in my journey here. I am no good when it comes to these types of talks but I hope you felt the sincerity conveyed." he says to his brother who is tearing up at his warm words.

"Thank you, Kookie. I appreciate your words. I adore you." says Seokjin while yanking his younger brother into a brotherly hug as Jungkook chuckles amusingly at his older brother's immature behaviour.

"Should we announce this news to the faculty now? Oh yeah, we have a farewell party at 5 tonight as well. Make sure to come with Jennie." Jungkook states.

While waiting for time to pass, Jungkook spends his hours wisely wrapping his desk items and cleaning the office. He silently chuckles at the picture of him and his brother at an amusement park that has always been placed on his desk. Little Jungkook was enthusiastic about roller coasters. Meanwhile, his elder brother was always screaming and hated roller coasters.

"What a stupid guy...he and Hobi Hyung are the same," he mumbled.

NEWS-PRESS 📰

MR. JEON, CEO OF JJK MEDTECH ANNOUNCED AS JKH MEDTECH NEW CEO.

JJK MEDTECH & JKH MEDTECH TO MERGE?

JKH MEDTECH BOUGHT OVER JJK MEDTECH BAGGING A 900 MILLION DOLLAR DEAL.

$900 MILLION SPENT TO TAKE OVER JKH MEDTECH

IS JKH MEDTECH SOON TO BE KNOWN AS JJK MEDTECH 2?

MR JEON LEAVES JJK MEDTECH EMPIRE AS CEO AS MR KIM TAKES OVER.

MR JEON: NEW CEO OF JKH MEDTECH.

WHAT IS THE FUTURE OF JKH MEDTECH AND JJK MEDTECH?

STOCKS RISE AS MR JEON RISES AS JKH MEDTECH'S NEW CEO.

"Are these headlines good enough, Mr Jeon?" asks the editor

"Good enough to me. Remember to release the covers and copies tomorrow." Jungkook states

"Ladies and gentlemen,

Today, as I stand before you with a charming mix of reflection and anticipation, I bid farewell to an extraordinary chapter of my journey. It's been a delight to share laughter, challenges, and triumphs with this exceptional community.

But before I dive into my farewell, let me extend my heartiest congratulations to someone who is not just a colleague but also my brother, Seokjin. With his charisma, wisdom, and a dash of undeniable charm, he's stepping into the CEO role with finesse. I have full confidence that under his leadership, our company is set to reach new heights. To my incredible colleagues and friends, thank you for being the heartbeat of this organization. Your passion and dedication have made this journey truly special. The camaraderie we've built is something I'll carry with me always.

As I venture into the next chapter, the excitement is palpable, and the gratitude is immense. The friendships formed here are not easily forgotten, and for that, I am truly thankful. To our clients, partners, and stakeholders, your trust and collaboration have been the driving force behind our collective success. In the spirit of gratitude, I extend my deepest appreciation to this remarkable team. Each of you has added a unique spark to this journey, and I am genuinely thankful for the shared moments.

So, as I say my farewells, let's carry the spirit of companionship and excellence forward. May your paths be paved with success and fulfilment.

Cheers, and let the good times roll!" Jungkook says with a charming smile.

He feels sad to leave the empire he has built on his by blood, sweat and tears for the past 6 years. Yet, within the corridors he departs, the indelible imprint of his journey remains – a lasting legacy in the company he nurtured into an empire.

"It's been a pleasure working with you, Mr Jeon. Till our paths align again," says Mrs Jung, his senior staff. "I hope you achieve the same success with JKH. I'm sure the faculty there will be delighted to have you as their boss. You are definitely a great person, inside and out. Don't be too harsh on yourself, okay? If you need anything, don't hesitate to reach out."

"Thank you, Hyunie. Your dedication to building this empire will always be etched in my memory. It's been an incredible journey, and your efforts have played a key role in our success." he says, earning a hug from his elder staff.

Amid the farewell, Jungkook finds himself surrounded by familiar faces, each representing a unique contribution to the success of the company. There are moments of laughter, heartfelt embraces, and even a few impromptu speeches from colleagues expressing their gratitude for Jungkook's leadership.

As the night progresses, the atmosphere shifts between nostalgia and anticipation. Jungkook navigates through the crowd, taking the opportunity to personally thank key team members, share a few more stories, and create lasting memories on this unforgettable night of transition. The air is filled with a combination of celebration, reflection, and the undeniable excitement of what's to come.

As the new day sets, you prepare to bid your boss goodbye and welcome your new one. As a symbol of appreciation for your boss, Mr Daehyun, the faculty and upper management decided to hold a farewell party for him. Same as Jungkook's case. It's a bittersweet feeling for you, especially. Daehyun has always treated you as his child, guided you when you first joined the company and stood up for you during hard times. You feel sad, particularly today, not only because this company has lost a piece of it but also because you are uncertain about future organizations and the new CEO's way of dealing with issues.

Nevertheless, you divert your overthinking mind to something to look forward to, the party. You are enthusiastic about the party as it hasn't been quite a while since the organisation arranged an event involving good food and liquors.

You chose a stylish yet relaxed getup that struck the right balance between professionalism and comfort. You wore a chic, ankle-length jumpsuit in a muted shade of burgundy, giving off an effortlessly sophisticated vibe. The jumpsuit featured a cinched waist, providing a flattering silhouette. You also paired the jumpsuit with fashionable ankle boots in a matching colour, adding a touch of trendiness to the outfit. You swept your hair into a loose, low bun, adding an element of laid-back elegance. A light coat of makeup accentuates your features, allowing natural beauty to shine through your face. In fact, you aren't that big of a makeup fan...that's why you always opt for simplicity.

"Wow, Y/N, you look... stunning," Jimin says as he is stunned at your look, simple yet elegant.

"Well, you aren't that bad either, you know? That black blazer looks very good on you," you say as you fix his tie that was placed crookedly.

"Do spare me a dance tonight, amour," he says as he brings your left hand to kiss it.

Hearing Jimin's words, a wave of warmth washed over you, a bittersweet reminder of times past. It was a peculiar sensation—comforting yet tinged with a hint of nostalgia. Jimin, with his knack for saying just the right thing, had unintentionally evoked memories of Jungkook.

It was how the words were delivered, perhaps—a certain sincerity, a depth you hadn't realized you associated so closely with your ex. These memories... long tucked away, surfaced softly, painting your thoughts with shades of what used to be. It was a gentle reminder of the connection you once shared with Jungkook.

"Sure, Minnie."

"Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention for a moment. As we gather here today, I find myself reflecting on the incredible journey we've embarked on together. It's not every day that one gets to address such a talented and dedicated group of individuals at their own farewell party. From my very first day at this company, I knew I was part of something special. Your commitment, creativity, and passion have not only propelled our projects to new heights but have also made me a better leader and, more importantly, a better person.

I want to extend a special thanks to our heads of departments, including the remarkable Y/N. Your leadership, expertise, and unwavering support have been the backbone of our success. It is your vision and dedication that have steered this company through challenges and towards our achievements. Each of you has played a pivotal role in shaping the culture and future of our organization, and for that, I am eternally grateful. As I step down from my role, I do so with a heavy heart but also with immense pride. Pride in what we've achieved together and excitement for what the future holds for each and every one of you under new leadership. Change brings new challenges but also new opportunities, and I have no doubt that this team, guided by the strong leadership of our department heads, will continue to excel and innovate in ways we can only imagine.

To everyone, thank you for your support, your hard work, and the countless memories we've created. It's been an honour to lead such an exceptional team, and I leave knowing that the legacy we've built together is in capable hands. Remember, the end of one chapter marks the beginning of another. Let's embrace this transition with optimism and continue to support each other as we move forward. To conclude, I'm not just saying goodbye; I'm saying thank you. Thank you for the laughter, the late nights, the successes, and even the setbacks, for they have all contributed to the extraordinary tapestry of our time together. As I embark on this new chapter of my life, I carry with me the lessons learned and the friendships forged here. I look forward to seeing all the incredible places you will go and the remarkable things you will do.

Here's to new beginnings, to the future, and to all of you, especially our heads of departments who have shown such remarkable leadership and commitment. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Cheers!" says Mr Daehyun

"Cheers! We will miss you, Dae," you say

As the party progresses, you and your best friend, Daisy, stick to each other, finding comfort in each other's presence. You both catch up regarding personal life and management gossip. You hum at her yapping for the past hour, constantly spilling information and 'tea'. You love her so much. She's the sincerest friend you ever had- you treasure her. Partly also because she's straight-up frank and has an unfiltered sass.

"This new boss... I've no clue about his name. He never mentions his name! All what I know is that his name is Mr. Jeon... nothing else. It's fucking weird! But he's definitely drop-dead gorgeous his body... oh my goodness!"

"Mr Jeon?" you say, partly shocked. Your voice carries a mix of surprise and disbelief, echoing slightly in the crowded room as you address the familiar name. Internally, you battle with a rush of memories and emotions, the name 'Mr Jeon' acts as a stimulus that brings your past vividly to the forefront of your mind. The logical part of you attempts to downplay the significance, reminding yourself that 'Jeon' is not an uncommon surname. It could be a coincidence, another person entirely unrelated to your past. Yet, the small, hopeful, or perhaps apprehensive part of you can't help but wonder if fate has decided to weave your paths together once more.

You don't know anything about him. You've blocked him everywhere for the past 6 years. You've got no clue about him... at all. You don't know what he's up to, you don't know what he works as, you don't know if he has managed to chase his dream, you don't know.

"Care to join me on the dance floor?" says Jimin as he shakes you out of your thoughts

"Yes... of course, Min."

As the evening unfolds into a lively affair, Jimin extends his hand towards you, a silent invitation to join him on the dance floor. With a mixture of excitement and slight nervousness, you accept, placing your hand in his. The music, a gentle yet upbeat melody, sets a perfect backdrop for this moment. You find yourself caught up in the joy of the moment, your steps syncing with his as if you've done this a thousand times before. Around you, the party continues, but in this bubble of space on the dance floor, it's just you and Jimin sharing laughs and steps, the rest of the world momentarily forgotten.

"Thanks for the dance, Minie, I loved it."

"No worries, Y/N, enjoy this night to your fullest, okay? The future's never certain. I'm always here for you if you need anything."

In Jimin's words, he's subtly hinting about your ex, whose presence is soon to be inevitable.

Actually...Mr Daehyun invited Jungkook to the party to introduce himself and get a golden opportunity to observe and engage with the team in a less formal setting, allowing him to estimate the dynamics and morale of the workforce he would soon direct. But Jungkook kindly declined his offer as he wanted the company to enjoy their last day with their old boss instead of seizing the limelight instantly.

"Yeah, Minnie, I appreciate it."

While you were enjoying the party, Jungkook, on the other hand, was preparing for his upcoming arrival at JKH tomorrow. He meticulously reviewed the resumes of the upper management, containing directors and heads of departments – a list that prominently featured your name.

As you and Daisy make your way into the lobby, the air crackles with suspense. The receptionist informs you both about the day's crucial agenda, highlighting a morning brief and an introduction session by the new CEO, Mr. Jeon. The mere mention of the new CEO sends a wave of curiosity and speculation through the employees gathered in the lobby.

"I wonder what is the new boss up to today..."

"Same, don't know shit about him though fuck man, I would salivate at the sight of his body."

"Shut the fuck up, seriously! This is not the moment for your fangirling, especially when it's about your boss!" you say, earning a chuckle from Daisy.

As you make your way up to the 52nd floor, you're instantly informed of a meeting with the CEO at his office along with the upper management. This action was unexpected, to say the least. What is his plans? What does he want? Not that you are afraid of questions, you've always aced them - it's just the anxiousness building in the pit your stomach. You hope you're able to produce a good first impression.

While waiting for the meeting, you run a few tests in the lab alongside your more senior Pharmacovigilance Specialists to check the effectiveness of the latest drug and compile information on the volunteer's medical reports- to check their history before they can proceed with the new tests. The hum of the lab equipment accompanied your concentration as you delved into the intricate world of medical research.

As Jungkook gracefully entered the office, he responded to each greeting with a generous smile, exuding an air of professionalism that effortlessly commanded attention. His presence created an atmosphere tinged with both intrigue and respect. The unspoken acknowledgment of the attention he was given only added to the riddle surrounding the new leader at JKH Tech.

"Good morning, Mr. Jeon. I'm Jimin, your second assistant. I will be helping you today since the first assistant is on medical leave. Please let me know if you require any help or inquiries. As for today, we have no plans, only the briefing with the upper management as you requested." says Jimin with a welcoming smile

"Morning, Jimin. Thanks for the help. Um... could you help me in the office? I need to flip through the faculty profile and projects before I continue with the meeting. Please send an email to everyone stating that there will be a welcome dinner at 6 later. Formal attire."

"Sure, Sir."

As Jimin and Jungkook delved into discussions about ongoing projects and faculty profiles, the air in the room crackled with a blend of professionalism and the anticipation of getting to know each other. Jimin, fluent and well-versed in the daintiness of the projects, presented detailed information with a hint of pride in his contributions.

Jungkook listened attentively, absorbing the information and forming impressions of Jimin's expertise. The subtle undercurrents of their professional relationship were still in the early stages, with each project update serving as a stepping stone for a potential connection.

"I must say, you've got a brilliant way of explaining things, Jimin. The projects seem good so far. Could you tell me about any success stories within the team? Are there instances where someone played a pivotal role in achieving a milestone?"

"Sure, though there are quite a few of them, I'll share the recent one. Our most significant breakthrough was with Miss Y/N, the head of immunology/microbiology. Y/N played a pivotal role in a groundbreaking project where we explored innovative approaches to enhance the body's immune response. Her sharp insights and strategic thinking paved the way for the development of a novel immunomodulatory drug currently in the advanced stages of clinical trials. This experimental medicine, tentatively named Immunovita-K, holds great promise in revolutionizing the field. Immunovita-K aims to modulate the immune system with precision, offering targeted responses to various pathogens. The potential applications extend from bolstering vaccine responses to exploring novel therapies for autoimmune disorders and infectious diseases." says Jimin with a proud face

As Jungkook spoke, his eyes lingered on the project details, but the mention of Y/N added a layer of sentiment to his words. "Miss Y/N's contributions are truly commendable," he repeated, a touch of pride evident in his voice. "Immunovita-K seems to hold immense potential, and the dedication of our head of department is evident in the success of this project."

A flicker of nostalgia passed through Jungkook's gaze, memories of shared moments playing like a muted film in the background of his thoughts. He leaned back in his chair, a subtle smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he continued, "It's clear that Y/N's expertise has played a pivotal role in steering our team towards success. I'm eager to see how Immunovita-K unfolds in the upcoming stages of the clinical trials."

"Her dedication to Immunovita-K has been exceptional, and the team is thrilled to have her leadership. If you'd like me to discuss any specific aspects or details with her, please let me know."

For Y/N, who continued her work in the lab, the boardroom discussions remained distant, yet the threads connecting her to the unfolding events tightened with each passing beat.

Your lab work comes to a halt as you are reminded of a meeting from your phone alarm, clearly stating a new event in your schedule. In that brief moment of transition, you couldn't help but feel the weight of the impending encounter. What is even making you this nervous? You've never experienced anything like this before.

"Hey, let's go, it's time."

"Let's go, Daisy. Let's see if the boss is really as hot as you described him to be," you chuckle.

You're grateful to have Daisy and Jimin with you, actually. They stand by your side as colleagues and as pillars of support in your journey.

"Oh boy, you'll see."

"Daisy, I think you really need to shut the fuck up, especially during a meeting, okay? Y/N, how do you even bear with her? Fucking loud-mouth!" Jimin says frustratingly, earning a glare from Daisy.

"Both of you, behave!"

"Ok, mom." X2

As the anticipation builds in the meeting room on the 47th floor, you find yourself scuffling with an unexpected tide of anxiety, a feeling you can't quite identify. Fidgeting with your phone, you reflect on the notes for basic introductions, trying to ground yourself in the familiarity of prepared information.

The atmosphere intensifies as the upper heads start to increase. But it's the arrival of the new CEO that catches you off guard. When Jungkook enters the room, your eyes widen in an unpretentious shock. His presence which was once a distant memory, now stands before you in this moment. The realization hits, sending a jolt through your system, and for a moment, time seems to pause as you process the unexpected reunion.

No, you are not afraid of him.

Navigating this emotive turbulence is an unknown territory for you. It's not anger or sadness that shakes your core, but rather an overwhelming surprise. Crossing paths with someone you once held as a lover has stirred a disruption of emotions within you. You never entertained the thought that you would have to grapple with such sentiments. It's a collision of past and present, a meeting with a version of your history that you thought was neatly tucked away.

Jimin's reassuring smile became a beacon of support. His silent message, a simple "it's okay," resonated across the room, providing you with a comforting assurance that you aren't alone.

Jungkook, on the other hand, remains composed, his stoic expression giving away little. His eyes briefly meet yours, a subtle acknowledgement that seems to carry a weight of unspoken history. Unfazed by the surprise in the room, he takes his seat with an aura of authority.

"Ladies and gentlemen, good morning. I trust this early gathering has piqued your curiosity. Let me assure you, this is not a harbinger of impending trouble. As your new leader, I find it imperative to acquaint myself with the esteemed members of our upper echelons. Effective communication within our ranks is paramount. I invite each of you to present yourselves and provide insights into your respective departments. The floor is yours."

Intrigued, you can't help but secretly check him out as he settles in. His more robust and defined physique doesn't escape your eyes. A brief moment of eye contact adds more tension to the room, and you find yourself momentarily captivated by the mysterious aura he exudes.

As introductions unfold, Jungkook's conduct remains cold and businesslike. Yet, beneath that icy exterior, there's a real undercurrent of something more, a subtle shift in the atmosphere. When it's your turn to present, you maintain professionalism, describing your department and highlighting your innovative breakthrough research. This includes your recent development of a novel immunomodulatory drug.

Though Jungkook's expression remains stoic and cold, a burst of pride blooms through his chest, acknowledging his once-lover achievements secretly. If he could, he would've been clapping at your introduction. But he doesn't.

As the meeting progresses, you can't shake the sense of a shared history flowing in the air. Every interaction and exchange carries the weight of unspoken words and unresolved emotions. The once-familiar face now wears the mask of a stranger, and the clash between the past and the present adds an extra layer of complexity to the professional setting.

Jungkook's cold and distant approach doesn't go unnoticed, leaving you to grapple with a mix of confusion, curiosity, and a subtle undercurrent of unresolved feelings. The meeting becomes a battleground of emotions, each word and gesture a silent echo of a shared history that neither of you is ready to confront.

"Thank you all for your insightful introductions. I am truly impressed by the display of leadership and the remarkable breakthroughs within your respective departments. It's my pleasure to announce that we have a welcome party scheduled for tonight at 7, generously sponsored by me. Attendance is mandatory, and I look forward to further interactions and collaborations among the faculty. You are all dismissed." he says, ending the once-was, nerve-wracking meeting.

As the meeting wraps up, the air in the room crackles with unspoken tension, and you find yourself eager to escape the confined space. The reunion with Jungkook, unexpected and emotionally charged, leaves you yearning for a moment of solitude to process the whirlwind of emotions that now defines your professional landscape.

As you step out of the meeting room, your eyes intrinsically meet Jungkook's. At that moment, a whirlwind of unspoken emotions seems to pass between you two. The air crackles with tension as the weight of the past collides with the present, leaving you both suspended in a moment that holds more than words can convey.

"You knew?" you asked Jimin

"Y/N, I didn't know who he was until I recognized his face from your old pictures. I did not want to ruin your mood, and neither did I want to interfere between both of you. You both are old enough to be mature, to talk and to deal with things. I know it hurts. I know you both shared history, but you've got to deal with it now. He is your boss. You are going to see him very often, and by that, I mean for five fucking days per week! You can't just give up like that, you know?"

He acknowledges the complexity of the situation, emphasizing that he doesn't want to shatter your peace by revealing Jungkook's identity right away. His words underscore the reality of the professional dynamic you now share with your ex-lover, urging you to confront the inevitable and find a way to navigate this new chapter in your life.

"How, Jimin, how?" you sob,

Deep beneath your heart, the currents of conflicting emotions swirled. The unexpected encounter with Jungkook, now your boss, sent ripples across the surface of your composed exterior. Unresolved feelings, memories, and the stark reality of having to navigate a professional relationship with your past lover created a turbulent undercurrent within you.

You gasp.

"He already knew about me, didn't he? Was that why he wasn't surprised at the sight of me? For fucks sake!"

"Hey peeps soo-"

"What happened, Y/N? You good?"

"Yeah, I am. Don't worry!"

"She's fine, Daisy." Jimin chimed in, shooting you a reassuring glance.

You kept your emotions in check, not revealing the details of your past with Jungkook. Daisy, unaware of the complexities, carried on with her usual enthusiasm, avoiding any probing questions.

"Yow bitch, you ready? Let's get wasted tonight!!"

"My goodness, Daisy!"

"Let's get wasted tonight, people!" you chuckle

You've reflected. You've thought about this situation multiple times today and decided to let things go with the flow. It might be rough to see your ex's face daily for 5 days in a row but you've told yourself you'd get used to it. It's been six years, and both of you have matured. The old memories resurface in the present, and there's no way to push them back.

Yeah, he totally broke your heart. You've broken his heart too.

You were manipulated, he was... everything was. The only thing you didn't know was the truth.

He found out, eventually.

"Alright, let's capture this moment," you say with a smile, bringing Jimin and Daisy into a friendly embrace. The camera captures the trio, frozen in a snapshot of companionship. Jimin flashes his signature grin, and Daisy, always the lively one, throws a peace sign.

As the shutter clicks, you feel a mix of emotions. The impending encounter with Jungkook lingers in your mind, but for now, you choose to focus on the present, cherishing the bonds you share with your friends. The photograph becomes a tangible memento, a reminder of a day filled with laughter, shared stories, and the warmth of companionship.

You decide to make a bold yet elegant statement for the formal party hosted by Jungkook. Choosing a floor-length gown, the dress hugs your curves in all the right places, showcasing your silhouette. The rich, midnight blue fabric is adorned with subtle sequins that catch the light, adding a touch of glamour to the ensemble.

The gown features a daring thigh-high slit, revealing a glimpse of your toned leg with every step. The back is open, adorned with delicate crisscross straps that add an alluring detail. The neckline is a modest V-shape, offering a sophisticated balance to the sultry elements of the dress.

Completing the look with a pair of strappy heels that accentuate the length of your legs, you opt for minimal accessories to let the dress take centre stage. A sleek updo and a hint of smoky eyeshadow add a touch of allure to your overall appearance.

As you enter the party, heads turn, and whispers of admiration follow you. The dress, with its combination of elegance and sensuality, ensures you stand out in the crowd, making a lasting impression on the attendees, including the mysterious CEO himself, Jungkook.

He was allured by your aura. Your thigh-high slit, open back, and V-shape neckline left him momentarily breathless. Jungkook, usually composed, felt a subtle warmth as he observed your confident entrance, appreciating the sophisticated yet attractive choice that seemed to enhance your natural magnetism.

As you entered the venue, your eyes instinctively scanned the room, landing on Jungkook, who was already present. Clad in a tailored black suit that hugged his broad shoulders and sculpted physique, the crisp lines accentuated every contour. The jacket was left slightly unbuttoned, offering a glimpse of his chiselled chest and well-defined abs.

"Managed to get the CEO's eyes on you, huh?"

"Daisy, it's nothing. I don't even find him attractive."

"Ok, liar!!"

"Shut up bitch, let's go find some fancy booze here," you say, earning an enthusiastic "lesgooo" from your best friend.

You were lying, actually. His magnetic aura captured your attention. He's changed but still is the same in so many ways.

"Omg, this champagne is so good! What brand is this man? I need to get this," Daisy says, half-drunk.

"Ask the bartender, asshole."

"Ouch, that hurt. Could you be kind to me for a day, at least?" Daisy says with a pout

"Screw y-"

Jungkook raised his glass, the gentle clinking sound echoing through the room, signalling the attention of the attendees, including you. The ambient chatter gradually subsided as all eyes turned toward the newly appointed CEO. The room fell into a hushed anticipation, awaiting Jungkook's words.

"Good evening, everyone. I want to express my sincere gratitude for joining us tonight to celebrate not only the success of our organization but also the incredible individuals who contribute to its growth. As we embark on this new chapter, I am thrilled to lead a team of exceptional talents."

Jungkook's speech was a blend of confidence, capturing the essence of the moment. His eyes scanned the room, occasionally locking with yours, perhaps a subtle acknowledgement of the intertwined past.

"To the future and the limitless possibilities it holds. Cheers!" Jungkook concluded, raising his glass higher, and the room erupted into applause, toasting to the endeavours that lay ahead.

As Jungkook gracefully moved through the crowd, engaging in conversations with each employee, you couldn't help but observe his interactions. His charm seemed effortless, a blend of charisma and authority that captivated those around him. You maintained a watchful eye, observing the way he navigated through the room, occasionally catching glimpses of familiar smiles and nods.

"OH MY GOODNESS, HOTTIE BOSS INCOMINGG"

As you looked behind, you noticed Jungkook making his way to your group of friends, one of the last few left. Jungkook's gaze met yours as he neared, and there was a subtle acknowledgement that passed between you. You braced yourself for the encounter.

You've got to admit he's quite a charm... you've been observing his actions and behaviour since ever and least to say, you're impressed with his social skills.

"Hello, gorgeous ladies! May I introduce myself a little?" he said, earning a chuckle from your friends.

He extended a hand for a handshake, greeting each of your friends.

"I'm Jungkook, what's your name?"

"Daisy. Research Department!"

"Lovely!"

"Serena Woo. Clinical research associate."

"Nice!"

And when he reached you, he smiled, "Y/N, it's been a while."

You felt a shiver down your spine as he uttered your name. A mixture of nostalgia and apprehension clouded the air. Jungkook continued, "I hope you're enjoying the party. It's good to see you again."

You managed a polite smile, "Likewise. Congratulations on becoming the CEO."

He nodded, "Thank you. It's been a journey. We should catch up sometime."

The conversation lingered, an undercurrent of unspoken history swirling beneath the surface.

Jungkook shifted his attention to your friends, smoothly blending into the ongoing conversations. As he engaged with each person, you couldn't help but watch the charisma he effortlessly exuded. Memories flashed before your eyes, of a time when his charm was directed solely at you.

Despite the festive atmosphere, an unspoken tension lingered. You grappled with conflicting emotions—curiosity, awkwardness, and a hint of longing. Jungkook's presence stirred a complex mix of feelings, and you wondered how this unexpected reunion would reshape the dynamics of your professional life.

Daisy, with a playful glint in her eye, decided to try her luck with Jungkook.

Daisy: "If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber. What do you say, Mr. Jeon?"

Jungkook, maintaining his composure, responded with a small smile: "Well, that's a unique one. I appreciate the creativity."

You caught between amusement and mild discomfort, couldn't help but chuckle at Daisy's bold attempt. The interaction added a light-hearted touch to the evening, momentarily diffusing the underlying tension.

As your laughter reached his ears, Jungkook couldn't help but notice a subtle shift in the atmosphere. A genuine smile played on his lips, and to your surprise, a pair of dimples made a fleeting appearance on his cheeks. It was a subtle detail. In that instant, you couldn't help but feel a peculiar sense of intimacy, as if his dimples whispered a silent acknowledgement of the shared history between you.

"Hey, y'all! How's it going? Hello, Jungkook, glad to see you here!" Jimin chimes in

"Good Minnie, just chugging on fancy booze." you chuckle as you lean into Jimin's embrace.

Jimin laughs along with you, enjoying the light banter. "Well, if it's fancy booze, count me in!" he playfully declares, raising his glass in a toast.

Jungkook, with his characteristic stoicism, joins the conversation. "It's a lively atmosphere tonight. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves."

You nod, taking a sip of your drink. "Yeah, Jungkook, you've thrown quite the party. It's nice to see everyone in a more relaxed setting."

Jungkook's gaze momentarily lingers on you, his expression unreadable. "Glad you think so. I wanted everyone to unwind a bit."

You're shocked, to be honest. You never expected Jungkook to act the way he is right now. After what happened between you two, you swore you'd never talk to him again. Yet, fate reunites you in a tricky situation where even seeing him is inevitable. Expecting a cold and detached encounter, you contemplate whether age has genuinely brought about maturity or if his professionalism is merely a shield for the shared history between you two.

"You cool?"

"Yeah, I guess so. He's different. Totally different now. He's so mature now... I never saw this side of him. We had a fucking disastrous relationship... obviously, I wasn't there to see him grow and develop to be a successful man." you say

"You've got this babe. I got your back."

"Oh yeah, Jiminah, could you not tell Daisy anything about us? I just don't want to make things awkward, you know?"

As the party nears its end, you all decided to call it a night.

"Goodnight, everyone. It was a pleasure meeting you all," Jungkook says with a polite nod.

"Goodnight, Mr. Jeon," your friends chime in.

As Jungkook turns to leave, he looks directly at you, his gaze lingering for a moment. "Goodnight, Y/N. Take care," he adds, his tone carrying a subtle weight, leaving you with a mix of emotions and unspoken thoughts.

As you, Jimin and Daisy make your way out, Jimin whispers, "That was something, huh?"

You nod, the encounter with Jungkook still fresh in your mind. "Yeah, unexpected."

Daisy interjects, "Well, it's just the beginning of many encounters with the new CEO. Get used to it, Y/N! He's so fucking hot man, take it allllllllllll-" She laughs, trying to lighten the mood.

In the quiet solitude of your room, you found yourself grappling with an indescribable feeling. It was as if the encounter with Jungkook had reignited a spark within you that you thought had long been extinguished. Instead of the anticipated anger or sadness, there was an unexpected warmth spreading through your chest.

You pondered over this sensation, questioning why the presence of your ex-lover, now the CEO, had this peculiar effect on you. It was as if the past, present, and future were colliding in a way you couldn't articulate. The once-familiar emotions that you had locked away seemed to be resurfacing, bringing with them a mix of nostalgia and an unspoken yearning.

The memory of his built frame, those broad shoulders and defined muscles, played on a loop in your mind. The subtle tension in his jawline, the way his suit clung to him, highlighting the contours of his body – it was impossible to dismiss the striking change from the boy you once knew to the commanding man he had become.

Despite the mixed emotions and the undeniable history between you two, there was an unspoken acknowledgement of the physical presence that still resonated between you. The encounter had stirred not only memories but also a heightened awareness of the person Jungkook had evolved into – a man whose formidable presence demanded attention, leaving an imprint that you couldn't easily shake off.

As you lay in the quiet darkness, you wondered if this was a mere reaction to the unexpected reunion or if there was something more profound at play. The spark, however indescribable, left you with a sense of anticipation, a feeling that hinted at the possibility of uncharted territories in the days to come.

"Yow, bad bitch, what are you thinking about?"

"Jimin, I-"

"Jimin, I feel... something I haven't felt in so long."

and, suddenly, her spark reignited.

a/n: Oh my goodness! It's finally out!! Thank you to everyone who waited patiently for this to come out, I appreciate it. I wanted y'all to have the best version <3 I didn't find/stick with the characters I had in my mind a year ago and I felt we needed a much more mature version of the MCs and I'm happy to say that I'm very pleased with this outcome! Love yall!

please like and share to support! + comment to be added to the taglist

#bts jungkook #jeon jungkook au #reader x jeon jungkook #still with you #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #bts au #ff #jungkook jeon

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szollibisz · 14 days

Note

Do you have any hcs abt how Curt and Owen "came out" to one another? (Using the term loosely cuz obviously they can't just be like "IM GAY") And also how they got together (who fell first etc etc)

Ok, so to preface this, my favourite thing about curtwen is just how many ways you can interpret their pre-canon relationship.

I try to keep their story relatively loose in my head, save for a few headcanons I very strongly believe in, because it's more fun this way.

For me, the #1 headcanon that's in all the iterations I think of, is that they hated each other at first. I think their personalities clash way too much for them to be all buddy-buddy on the first day. (Physical attraction? maybe. Was it minuscule compared to their irritation with each other? yes.)

I just think it's interesting how the two of them gradually (and begrudgingly) start to care about each other.

I think their "friendship stage" is one of my favourite parts about the whole thing. Now I refuse to believe either of those men have friends. Maybe coworkers and acquaintances, but not friends. Which is why this stage lasts so little.

As their work their way up to care for and respect each other, both of them go a little crazy about it.

It's the first time in years or even decades they felt genuine affection and maybe even trust, and both of them are extremely starved for it. So it really doesn't take much for them to fall for each other. (especially since the aforementioned physical attraction was always there and only getting stronger as they learned to tolerate each other)

I imagine, because of this, Owen was the one who fell first, and he employed his usual tactic for dealing with unwanted feelings: Being an ass and depriving himself of good things. He got more intense about his work, trying to immerse himself in it, so he'll stop thinking about Curt. He stayed up late, didn't even try to take it easy when he had a migraine, drank shit coffee and other great things.

It technically worked. He looked like shit, which in turn made Curt worried, and if Owen completely invalidated his worries the two of them would get into a fight, be mad at each other and not interact so much. Owen thought this would make him not yearn for Curt so bad (he still did, in fact, yearn for him that bad)

When Curt realized he was in love with Owen he was pretty horrified. Like listen. If someone has commitment issues it's Curt. Maybe he had a boyfriend or two during his teenage years/twenties, but they didn't end well, and since then he's been trying to keep everybody at arms length. He convinced himself Owen wasn't so bad because hey. They were just buddies (and Curt desperately needed a buddy.)

He tried to shove down and ignore his feelings, but moaning your friend's name while banging another guy may just be a little more than what you can avoid.

He never understood why Owen turned so cold suddenly, and he was terrified Owen just didn't like or trust him anymore. In turn he was also mad at him for trying to shut him out.

Their little hate renaissance could only last so long though. They were still each other's only friends and no matter what they did they kept being drawn back to each other.

This was a super long preface but. I am not normal about those two.

So. different scenarios and headcanons and whatnot

1. Either one of them somehow discovers the other is gay. This would probably mean Owen finding out about Curt, because, I wholeheartedly believe that man would leave during a mission sometimes just to get a quick fuck in. Maybe Owen finds out with evidence (fast & easy method) or he just starts strongly suspecting with his great spying and deduction skills (slow & torturous method, he'd try to convince himself he's just seeing what he wants to see) either way, the confrontation would be very uncomfortable for both of them. Curt would deny it ofc, and Owen would go through the internal battle of "tell him it's fine, you won't rat him out, but be a little homophobic about it, so maybe you can keep the only friend you have, but also be ok with the fact that he'll always be with other men and never you" or "tell him you're gay too, maybe he likes you, maybe not, and potentially risk losing your job and livelihood and everything you've ever worked for" He'd most likely end up doing the latter, surprising both Curt and himself. (He's already way more into Curt than he admits to himself) And things escalate from there.

2. Dramatic post mission (maybe a "I thought I'd never see you again" moment) This is where their friendship gets really interesting to me. For a scenario like this the months long yearning is a given, maybe even a lot of unresolved tension between the two (which would probably be resolved with violence anyways) They care very deeply about each other by now. They know each other better than anyone, and their idyllic relationship is only made into a living hell by all the pining. At this point I mean, they'd buy each other birthday gifts, go over to the other's house when they were in the same country and share way too much info over drinks. Their job is always dangerous, but even they can get scared. Maybe we're talking being crazy outnumbered, or a torture/hostage situations, or hell even a collapsing building. Point is, id either one of them thought the other (or both of them) may die, at this point they'd be impulsive enough to just say I love you or kiss the other. In the moment neither of them would care, and later on, when you'd normally talk about things like near death makeout sessions, they'd just. not. do that, because communication is for guys with better life prospects. This one has absolutely no coming-out talk in it, simply because they don't need it

3. Possibly drunk hookup Now clearly, we are talking about two of the most down bad men ever. This is one scenario, I think could also work really well when they still really hated each other. Maybe throughout their first few mission they both gathered enough evidence and sussed each other out, and after (yet another) explosive fight they might just. Alleviate the tension by not beating each other up but by. other means. They don't end up talking much about it, but it keeps happening, and wait maybe they don't even hate each other all that much. (This is the more sober option) The other one is where the "possibly drunk" comes in. If they've been friends for a while, they probably got used to working around each other and finding comfort in the other's presence. This includes little habits, inside jokes, and even (very small) physical touches. This probably wouldn't go down during a mission, it's more likely to happen at either Curt's or Owen's house, maybe during some holiday. Both of them realizing it's a pretty bad idea early on, because, without all the stress of the missions and navigating a foreign country all that's left is them and the feelings they have for each other. Owen would probably say no to drinks for the first few times, just to avoid a potentially dangerous situation, but Curt would wear him down eventually. Now, with both of them drunk and comfortable, it wouldn't take much for things to escalate. Maybe Curt forgets to take his hand off of Owen after patting him on the back, or Owen holds Curt gaze for a little too long. Either way, those two end up fucking. The next day both of them are a little horrified, but they manage to come clean about their feelings (even if it's in the most backwards and convoluted way possible)

Happy ending (or not) There's many more ways it could've happened, but I already wrote wayyyy too much I think.

In the end I don't think they'd ever have a proper conversation about homosexuality, even way into their relationship. It's something they slowly pick up on from each other. How ashamed are they, what makes them tick, what you shouldn't say etc. And then of course, since they don't communicate properly and sometimes purposefully hurt each other, they'd throw it all back in the other's face.

I'm not sure this is what you meant when you asked for hcs, but I got carried away.

#spies are forever #tin can bros #saf #owen carvour #agent curt mega #szol's spy rambles #curtwen #tcb #hoooo boy this was very long. sorry #edit: pasted this into word it's 1.4k words. again: sorry

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haleigh-sloth · 3 months

Text

Alastor, the wild card

Okay, I have to get this out because it's driving me nuts not having it written down.

I watched Hazbin Hotel. I watched the pilot 4 years ago, immediately liked Alastor. 4 years go by and he gets put on the back burner, but now that the main series has begun, oohhhhh boy.

This is basically just me laying out everything I think is going on with/going to happen with Alastor--the seeming wild card--and then what I ultimately think his end game will somewhat look like. Alastor has a lot of different little plot points going on with him, that all point in different directions, but I believe will all end up pointing at one specific ending. I'll go through the different plot directions tied to him in a list but not in the particular order I think they will occur, because I'm really not sure of that yet other than the last:

Beef with the Vees, Vox specifically

Lucifer

His deal, in other words his "leash"

His relationship to the hotel and everyone in it

His relationship to Charlie

Not a long list but a lot of thoughts altogether so here goes.

The Vees and Vox:

I'll start here, but this ties into other stuff later. The Vees, very much MOSTLY Vox and Valentino, are problems. They're these media industrial overlords who own people (it's such a mystery what type of modern-day issues these 3 characters are touching on), and they exploit, take advantage of, and harm people. They're clearly antagonists, even if not the main ones at this time. Now for the sake of keeping this about Alastor, we're gonna focus on Vox, because obviously they have past beef. We don't know ALL the details of what it is (aside from Alastor rejecting Vox's offer), but we know it resulted in a fight in which he "almost" beat Vox. And it seems they were on decent terms at one point, evidenced by what looks like Vox's head in this torn out photo that Vox had pinned to his board in the finale:

Alastor has an ego. He's an overlord. A highly regarded one, and he's obviously strong. He writes off pretty much everyone around him. He doesn't seem to be afraid of anyone, or even remotely bothered by people who show up to attack him or the hotel. He only shows any kind of acknowledgement of someone else's strength when he goes to the overlord meeting in episode 3. But outside of that, he does not seem to give anyone else the time of day.

So that's really funny considering that when Vox starts trash talking him on TV, he takes the bait and gets competitive. He goes on the air, he trash talks back, he gets personal with it. And when Vox loses signal, Alastor continues sending a final, very sinister warning.

And he's not being his usual joke-y self. He's being serious. He's turning into his Wendigo-looking form, which is quite scary looking. We're supposed to take him seriously here because he's not writing Vox off. He is, for lack of a better way of putting it, taking Vox seriously as an opponent. He's being usually egotistical, but he's still putting more effort into this little social media battle than he has for (almost) any other opponent. And not to mention, Vox was shown in the pilot:

So, while this was pretty much shelved for the reason of season 1, it's coming back. And it's going to be an issue for everyone, including Alastor.

Lucifer:

This is going to be my second favorite section of this post. Because it's hilarious, and also somewhat endearing to me how he reacted to meeting Lucifer. I'm sure people noticed, but when Lucifer walked in and hugged Charlie, the frame moved up to show Alastor's face, and his eye was twitching in that moment.

Then a moment later they shake hands, and he wipes his hand off on his coat. And later Lucifer bumps into his arm when walking past him and he brushes his arm off-again. Clearly, Alastor does not like Lucifer. Now, I'm like 100% sure there are yet-to-be-revealed reasons for this that have not even been remotely touched on (Lilith), but there are some obvious guesses we can make based on what we now have in season 1.

There's the fact that Alastor's ego is present here. He points out Lucifer's height, in a condescending way. So that's a thing, but I think it goes beyond that. I'll dive into Alastor and Charlie toward the end, but I do think Charlie is part of the reason for his behavior in episode 5. Alastor is showing off his additions to the hotel, but he isn't really boasting about himself at this point. He's being very pointed about giving Charlie all of the credit, and he is very intentional about saying what an "impressive young lady" she is and saying how "VERY proud" THEY (meaning him and the others there) are of her. It's very odd and hilarious that he's pulling all of this out in front of her dad. I mean, I have my guesses, but given that Alastor then starts challenging her dad in a sing-off, saying he's a dud of a parent, and just straight up saying he could be her dad--I'd say Lucifer's lack of effort in Charlie bugs the shit out of Alastor. I'll explain more on that later, though.

The last point I'll make here to transition into the next section is that I'm sure Lilith has something to do with this disdain for Lucifer. However, I'm really not sure what side of Lilith Alastor knows. My guess is it isn't a good side though.

Which brings me to Alastor's "leash", the handler being Lilith.

I mean, this feels as on the nose as the Dabi is Touya theories. Alastor's been gone for 7 years. Lilith has been gone for 7 years. Vestial said he heard a rumor Alastor fell into "holy arms". We know Lilith is chillin in heaven (but other people don't..so again, mystery). Alastor won't tell anyone why he was gone. We know someone owns Alastor in some way right now. I mean....it's gotta be Lilith. It could be a red herring and be a complete surprise later, but it feels like something very obvious that we just won't get to see for a while and will have to wait in anticipation. Lilith is not painted in the best light right this second, but honestly it's impossible to tell whether she's actually Not Great or if there's layers to this. My guess is probably a little of both.

Alastor being involved with the hotel could be because of Lilith. That also feels somewhat obvious, though again, I'll dive into Charlie in a second.

Hazbin Hotel:

Things start to somewhat all tie together here.

Okay let's take this back to the pilot when Alastor introduced himself to the show. He said he views the hotel as an investment for entertainment, and a lost cause, and something to laugh about. He repeats this in episode 1 to remind everyone that he still views Charlie's vision as something impossible to achieve and something to laugh at. Howeverrrrrr--

We shouldn't ignore the fact that ever since he showed up to "help", under the guise that he thinks the hotel is a joke, he has given a lot more than he had originally stated he'd intended. For someone supposedly who enjoys watching others fail and fall into misery, he sure does put a lot of effort into something he considers to be a massive joke. And the funny thing is that he says in the pilot that redemption is impossible, but we literally KNOW IT'S NOT. Sir Pentious immediately brings Alastor's motive for involving himself with the hotel into question. Of course we have no idea how much Alastor actually knows about redemption, but we can't disregard the very real possibility that he's involved with Lilith (holy arms) and the very real possibility that he's aware of her whereabouts (heaven). We don't know all of those details yet. But what we do know is that all of Alastor's efforts are fueling something that is working. SO HIS EFFORTS ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE..

So I guess that brings me to--what does he actually think of the hotel? Like reeeeaaallly think of it?

His behavior throughout the 8 episodes shifts significantly from the pilot and episode 1 even. He repeats it's a joke in episode 1. And then continues to put genuine efforts into keeping Charlie from giving up even when things get tough and she feels really beaten down. (I'll tie this into why I think he dislikes Lucifer in the Charlie sections).

I also am questioning his real vision of the hotel because it is certainly not something to be ignored that he put Husker and Niffty into the hotel--the hotel about redemption and salvation. Yeah, he's an overlord. He owns their souls. But he's forcing them to stay in a hotel that we literally already KNOW is going to save them in some way. Husker and Angel have their thing going, which will be a good thing. Niffty has a group of people who will protect her, evidenced by episode 6. So, again, Alastor's efforts are all leading to Charlie's hotel being nothing but successful (in the end). But yet he says it's all a joke.

And I think the biggest hint at there being something more here is that Alastor willingly put himself against Adam. And we KNOW that Alastor is leashed somehow. His wings are "clipped". And he ran off to go have a quick little break down in private about almost being killed because of this. Obviously his powers are shackled per his deal.

And yet? He still pit himself against Adam. Knowing this about himself. He also DID almost die for them--his friends, if we can assume he really meant that (I think later on that will be the case). This notion obviously bothers him, a lot. He went to his broadcast station and freaked out over the fact that he really did almost die for them. And then he still went back, knowing that they know he lost his fight. What a blow to his ego! He's the only one who lost and they all know it because they had to deal with Adam after he left.

I won't write off the possibility that he has to be there per some deal (assuming it's Lilith), but that doesn't negate the fact that his demeanor toward the hotel and everyone there changed from beginning of season 1 to the end.

We don't know yet what Alastor really thinks, yet. That's internal and won't be shown until later. But I don't think it's wise to take his word for it from the pilot and from episode 1, and then ignore everything that came after when it's obvious his behavior shows something else entirely.

Lastly, his relationship to Charlie ties everything together.

Again, this started off as a joke to him. He SAYS that he thinks Charlie is working for something impossible. And yet throughout the season he's been shown to be really endearing toward her.

I think my favorite part showing this was him telling her in episode 7 that "It's not like you've ever failed to inspire before." He meant himself. Because in that same sequence Charlie says she usually sings to get her point across but it never works. Except it did, because that's literally what brought Alastor to her doorstep.

That, plus Alastor's obvious disdain for her father that he shows when she isn't looking (the eye twitch), him trying to motivate her from giving up when she's all depressed, him singing about her with Rosie. I think he genuinely admires her and finds her inspiring, and genuinely likes her. Which is really interesting when you look at how he reacted to the presence of her father, and when you consider the very real possibility that he's very much indebted to her mother. Their dynamic is by far my favorite because Alastor is just very NOT easy to read.

However there is a problem that will come up later, and it's the deal he made with Charlie.

So now I'll try to tie everything together:

Alastor has this unsettled business with Vox. He isn't going to let it go. It's going to be a problem somehow. Alastor is stuck in a deal with someone, it's going to be a problem somehow. Alastor now has an unfulfilled deal with Charlie. It's going to be a problem somehow. Alastor hasn't made any vocal admittance that he doesn't view the hotel as a joke, so his front about it being impossible is still kind of there, and that's coupled with the fact that we know he's wrong. All of these things are obstacles to what I'm PRETTY SURE is going to be the hotel's final and biggest obstacle and success:

redeeming Alastor.

Before I go further I'm going to touch on the pilot here.

There are three very bold statements made in the pilot:

"Inside of every demon is a rainbow."

"Inside of every demon is a lost cause."

"He can't be redeemed."

Who is right?

Well, CHARLIE is the heart of the show. The core of what the show wants to portray--redemption and salvation. (Hams is probably right that she is a Jesus figure). I think the odds are in her favor. ALASTOR made a statement that we now have very solid undeniable evidence disproving, now that season 1 is over. So he's out. VAGGIE ended up having a dark and painful secret that she's done unforgivable things to Charlie's home. And yet, she's making the judgment call about Alastor? I think she's out. And also, her statement is the introduction to one of the biggest challenges in the show for Charlie. Because Charlie believes in the opposite of what Alastor and Vaggie are saying. And like I said, the odds are in Charlie's favor.

Now, Alastor obviously doesn't seem like the type to want redemption, or strive for that. Because I'm pretty sure he's not. For now, on the surface. There are a lot of negative things in his way. His beef with Vox and his deal shackling his powers that he wants freedom from. And I'd honestly bet money that those things will all stand in the way of Charlie redeeming him because he'll be focused on these things that keep him from wanting to do better and change--even though throughout season 1 he already showed slow but undeniable signs of changing, whether he wants to admit it or not.

But I think the point of his arc is to end up being someone who does want better. I think his obvious liking for Charlie is something that will save him from a dark and desperate place, a place we've kind of already gotten a peak into. And I think that at the end of the day, every ounce of effort he put into the hotel for Charlie, under the guise of it being for his entertainment, will all end up helping him the most out of everyone in the end.

And I'm very excited.

#Hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor

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