.

Fangirl pt. 2

Genre: Romance, Slow Burn, Idol A/U

Pairing: BTS OT7 x reader

Rating: PG

Summary: Y/N, being a huge fangirl, finally got her chance to work alongside her favorite idol group as a backup dancer. She gets to know each member personally and realizes that her feelings may be more than fangirl-idol attraction.

Word Count: 4K

Taglist: @nochujeonjk​

PARTS: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | ... masterlist

“Hey there, early bird! I missed you!” As I was patting off the dust from my backside, my slight irritation was gone as my brother rushed to give me a big hug. We barely see each other nowadays, now that I live alone. We used to live together but he moved in with his girlfriend around three months ago. We used to be two peas in a pod, never leaving each other’s side. Best friends. I don’t hate that he moved out, though. I actually learned to be a lot more independent due to that, and I gained a new friend which was his girlfriend. She’s older than us by two years so I guess I gained an older sister through him. “Did you eat breakfast? Or maybe brunch?” he peeked at his watch as he continues to hug me.

“Only a roll of kimbap from the aunty across my building. I don’t want to eat a lot when I’m nervous.” I giggled as I release him from my arms.

He exclaimed with his mouth agape. “Right. You tend to vomit when you’re really nervous.” He pats my shoulder and escorted me up the steps and through the doors. “Don’t worry, they’ll love you. Those guys are really nice, but I can’t say anything about your new teammates since they’re new as well. Let’s just pray they treat you well.” He pats my head in adoration. We arrived at the front desk and I proceeded to ask for Mina. She gave me a visitor’s ID and my brother broke my conversation with her when she offered to give me directions, telling that he’ll escort me on the floor where I’m needed instead.

We exited the elevator and he directed me to a hallway with huge glass door at the end. We turned and maneuvered our way to another hallway with two huge frosted glass. He pushed the door and I could see the whole floor until the other end of the building, with rows of cubicles and people with eyes glued to their screens. A beautiful, cozy and conducive workplace. Some were huddling and discussing, and a few of them were chatting and exchanging laughs. Jiyong pulled my hand and we increased our pace. “I want you to meet my team.”

I was greeted by somewhat familiar faces as I recognize them from my last video call with my brother. Three men and two women were chatting around a circular table in a small room. Some of them got up from their seats as my brother entered the room with me following him behind.

“Wow. Now that we see you in person, you both really look alike. That’s amazing.” One female rushed to my brother’s side, pushed him against me, and gazed at our faces. I stared at my brother and he also stared back. We both chortle as we both felt amused with his workmates. We grew up used to people amazed with us looking so similar to each other, being identical twins. I spent a few moments with my brother’s workmates and they congratulated me as they discover that I’ll work for the same company along them. They gave lots of advices, tips and whatnots to make work life here easier. My brother proceeded to excuse both of us out the room, across the huge office space and back to the elevator.

“I know you don’t want to eat but let me at least get you coffee or something small to bite. I don’t think you had coffee yet, and we both know how you function without it.” I actually forgot to make coffee for myself back at home or even dropped by my favorite coffee shop along the way. I was too nervous to actually remember. “Relax sis.” He giggled as he rubbed his hands on my shoulder, pushing me inside the elevator.

He escorted me to the cafeteria in the lobby. He offered to pay and I obliged. I ordered a really huge cup of Iced Americano and he ordered his coffee and snack. I missed spending quality time like this with my brother, though brief. I glanced at my watch and it was already 9:40 am. I gulped down my coffee within 5 minutes, almost choking with how swift I finished it. I pushed his arm to alert him to hurry as he was supposed to escort me to where the meeting is.

I arrived just outside of the room. I was staring at the frosted glass with my hand frozen inches away from the doorknob. Upon opening, I was met with turning heads and stares from girls sitting around on the floor of the dance practice room. I guess they’re the newly hired female backup dancers. Great, they all know each other already. Maybe they all belong in a dance crew? Why am I nervous?

“Nice to meet you everyone.” I bowed as I slowly trot towards them. “Are you here for the meeting as well?” A few of them stood up quickly and bowed back.

A fellow dancer that I didn’t notice at the far right side of the room bowed as well. We all exchanged introductions as they offered me to sit with them. They all seem nice and friendly. Ages were asked and it turns out I’m the maknae out of all the 15 dancers here inside the room. I also discovered that half of us were part of the same street dance crew, five were former backup dancers of other idols and I’m the only sole dancer without a crew.

Two men came inside the dance room and talked to us for around 2 hours. I’m guessing they’re the dance directors. They informed us that even though they accepted us as a part of the dance team already, they’ll be asking us to participate at a live evaluation later today with freestyle dance. I looked around the room and I was more nervous than ever. I felt slightly intimidated by the presence of all these seasoned dancers. Deep down in my mind, I think I’m out of my league here. I got myself into a situation where I’m the least experienced out of everyone.

As the main choreographers continue to talk, I couldn’t hold in my pee. I really need to go to the restroom right now but I’m too shy to excuse myself out. “Why did I have to gulp down a huge cup of coffee just before this meeting? This is so not helping with my nerves.” To my luck, they concluded the meeting and excused themselves out of the room to leave all of us to prepare for the live evaluation. I bolted out of the room in search for a restroom. I faintly recalled a sight of a restroom just across the hallway. I ran past a practice room, blasting to Fake Love and a few chatters and laugh. I unconsciously hummed to the song in my head, closing my eyes for a moment as I ran to the restroom.

I opened my eyes and didn’t grasp the second I bumped into someone in front of the restroom signs dividing the female and male rooms. My backside embraced the floor once more.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t see…” To my luck, the person I bumped into was…

“Yoongi hyung. Should we...?” Jimin quickly came out from the male restroom just behind Yoongi, whom I’ve bumped into. Yoongi was looking at me, examining my face and slowly recollecting the memory from this morning.

“You again? I thought I told you to watch where you’re going.” He just stood there as I rub my backside. He was about to bend down and reach his hand out but Jimin quickly offered to lift me up. I gladly obliged but shit, my butt really hurts. I forced a smile as I tried to hide my winces from the pain.

“Are you okay?” Jimin asked, hands still on my forearm and looking at my face. I felt bashful from his gesture. I realized that a BTS member just helped me up. His skin is so smooth that it looked like ceramic, and such adorable cheeks that I just want to pinch.

“Thank you so much.” I bowed as I respectfully removed my hand from Jimin. I could still feel Yoongi staring while my head was down.

“Are you… an employee here?” Yoongi asked with a tone different from how he spoke to me this morning just outside the building. I stood up straight and saw Jimin with a bright smile, also waiting for my response. He placed his arm on Yoongi’s shoulder.

“I’m new here, just today actually.” My eyes were glued to both of them, realizing that I was in front of two BTS members. An opportunity beyond my wildest dreams. I’m actually conversing with them and not just me talking into thin air to their posters and cut-outs. “Backup dancer.” Jimin’s face lit up with a grin split across his face.

“I didn’t know the evaluation will be today.” Jimin removed his arm from Yoongi and bowed down. “Looking forward to working with you.” I was surprised with Jimin’s enthusiasm. I bowed back a second after him. Standing up straight, I looked at Yoongi. He looked like he wants to say something, with his mouth slightly open.

“It’s such an honor to meet you both but I’m sorry, I really need to use the restroom.” I excused myself quickly to the restroom. I rushed inside and closed the door.

Jimin placed his arm back on Yoongi’s shoulder and they both walked back to the practice room where the other members are. “Feels like I want to watch the evaluation. Do you want to join me?”

“I still have to finish up my demo in the studio. Why not ask Hobi?”

“That’s a good idea actually.” Jimin giggled at the excitement. There’s also a thought inside his mind why he felt slight familiarity when he saw your face. He doesn’t recall where he saw you or if you have worked together before. He let the thought occupy him for a few moments before pushing it aside as he goes inside the practice room.

“Hey Jimin, look at this!” Taehyung beckoned Jimin to see the video playing on his mobile. J-hope was reaching for a cup of water from the dispenser at the side of the room while chatting with RM, who was trying to catch his breath. Jin and Jungkook were going through some of the steps in front of the mirror.

“Hobi-hyung. Today’s the evaluation for the new female backup dancers.” Jimin called as he was walking to Taehyung. Hobi was alerted to Jimin’s call. “Want to watch?”

“I’m sure our presence won’t help with the nerves of the dancers. Better to watch next time.” Hobi finished his cup of water and brushed his fingers through his hair as he discarded the cup. Jimin was intrigued once more by the thought of the familiarity from your face. He couldn’t put his finger where he saw you. He was sure that he must have at least saw your face once or twice.

“Hey, look at this.” Taehyung pouted and pulled on Jimin’s shirt to ask him to join him on the floor. Jimin followed.

…..

While I was waiting for my turn for the evaluation, my encounter with Jimin and Yoongi kept repeating in my mind. I get to meet BTS members twice in one day. Too bad that it both started with me slumped on the floor. Jimin’s ethereal blonde hair with his adorable grin and Yoongi with his cool demeanor. I never thought I’ll get to meet them on my first day here.

“Next, Y/N” Interrupting my daydream, I heard the female dance director call my name. I stood off the floor and walked to the middle of the room, facing the dance directors. The other dancers, who finished their evaluations, were silently cheering for me at the back. “We’ll let you dance to a hip-hop piece and an additional dance piece afterwards.” I curled my hand at my side and waited for the song to start. I could feel the stares of the dance directors, anticipating me to start as well.

The first beat started to blast across the room and I felt a smirk plastered across my face. I’m sure the dance directors saw it as well. I recognized the song and let the beat take over my body. I could feel my hair whipping around as I pop my body to each beat. I recall the times when I would enjoy dancing to random songs late at night with my fellow dance teachers at the dance studio. Dancing like this, I really felt like I’m in my own world. With every slow beat, I could feel my body rolling and with every strong beat, I let myself pop.

The song lasted a minute before the dance director asked to stop it. The other dancers were clapping their hands so loud that I was broken from my euphoria from dancing. I could feel that my cheeks were burning from their enthusiasm. I went back to my shy posture with both hands at my side, trying my best to catch my breath. I could see smiles from the dance directors as they exchanged words and looked at my folder. My eyes roamed the room when something caught my attention. Someone was watching from the door, both arms across his chest and with a grin that felt like sunshine.

“Hoseok? Are you here to watch?” One of the dance directors noticed J-hope standing at the door. Semi-silent gasps were heard from the other dancers as they take in the presence of the BTS member. J-hope just smiled with his cheeks high up while he walks towards the dance directors’ table. Jimin popped in soon after, skipping towards J-hope.

“We just finished our practice. Jimin thought it would be nice to pop in. Is it okay to observe for a while?” Hoseok pulled out a chair for him and Jimin. They both sat down and looked ahead. I froze in place. I can’t feel my hands. My gaze went to the other female dancers and I could see that they were really trying hard to hide their amazement that Jimin and J-hope appeared before us. I looked back to J-hope and Jimin. Usually, I would scream and jump from where I’m standing. I would cheer their names and maybe even take out a banner, but not today. I am standing in front of them, waiting for my turn to dance to whatever song the dance directors chose next. I cannot control my nerves as of the moment. It’s taking over me, hindering all movements I thought of. I can’t feel my fingers. This is it, this is the end of this chance. I won’t be hired as a backup dancer if I can’t move and handle this pressure. I thought all of this nonstop.

“Y/N, you may start.” I heard the female dance director and it horrified me as I begin to hear the music. Looks like the music has already started for some time now. The faces of the other dancers were of worry and confusion. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This is my only chance. I should redeem myself. As I absorb the music, I was met by familiarity and bliss. I had already performed this song as a modern dance piece when I was a student along with my fellow students in the dance department.

Slowly, I let the music take over my body from my core until the tips of my fingers. Like a graceful swan, I flew across the room. I slid on the floor and stood up with an elegant smooth body roll. Jumps that took no effort and landing so sophisticated that it almost didn’t make any sound. I was eager to get this job and I gave everything. The room felt blacked out with just myself in the middle of it, being in the bright spotlight. The moment the song stopped, reality swiftly hit me. I was back in the practice room being evaluated by dance directors, observed by two BTS members and cheered on by other enthusiastic and supportive dancers.

Being the shy duckling I am, I stood straight like a soldier with both hands at the side. All the dance directors were still staring at me and both J-hope and Jimin were nodding in approval. Despite my horrible start, I’m so glad I redeemed myself. I could explode right now from the amount of emotions flooding through me. Now that I’ve finished the evaluation, I found myself staring at the two BTS members. Jimin with his dark grey loose shirt, black FILA track pants, Balenciaga bag swung across his chest, and cool dangling earpieces. J-hope in a peach flowy long-sleeve top with a green vest, brown baseball cap loosely hanging on top his head and brown shorts that shows his toned legs. They were both conversing when I felt Jimin’s long stares directed at me. He looks slightly intrigued but nevertheless, stares from this man could kill. I felt flushed and let my eyes wander elsewhere.

“Thank you Y/N. Next please.” I bowed and rushed towards the back of the room, joining the other dancers. I was met by praises from the other dancers. My heart felt warm from all the affirmation the others were giving me but I was still bothered by the stares from Jimin. I looked at him once more and he’s still staring at me. He studied my face and smiled when he saw me getting shy from his stares. I turned my head away and looked in front towards the next dancer.

Both of them stayed for a while before excusing themselves out of the room. Some of the dancers were whispering that they’re sad that two of the boys are now not in our presence. I admit that I’m a bit sad too but I can finally breath and relax. Despite being so nervous with them present during my evaluation, I was elated that they were here inside the room as me. I’m lying if I say that my heart wasn’t pounding furiously. I’m just trying to be professional here but I’m still a big fangirl at heart.

…..

“Are you okay? You’ve been too occupied by your thoughts since a while ago.” Hoseok asked Jimin as he sips from his juice. Jungkook and Taehyung who were sitting across the two boys, eating their post-practice snack, were intrigued by J-hope’s question. They noticed Jimin was staring away with his brows furrowed.

“I really think that I saw that backup dancer somewhere but I can’t put my finger on it. Her face looks too familiar.” Jimin sipped his juice through a straw.

“Which backup dancer? The first one?” Hoseok studied Jimin’s face. Jimin nods. “I haven’t seen someone dance like that in a long time. Her passion just captivates you and pulls you in. I can’t wait to work with her and all the other dancers.” Hoseok beamed with hope as he recalls your evaluation performance.

“Also, the modern dance piece that she did felt familiar as well. I could actually feel my body dancing with her but I couldn’t remember where or when I danced to that song.” Jimin admitted.

“Did you watch the whole evaluation?” Jungkook asked the two. Taehyung kept on scrolling through his social media.

“We only watched a few but they were good.” Jimin replied, getting a smile from Hoseok.

“Yeah, especially the one you’re trying so hard to remember. You were staring at her, did you know that? It’s a shocker that she did not melt from your stares.” Jimin turned to Hoseok, surprised by his hyung’s revelation.

“Really? Oh no hyung, I’m too embarrassed by myself. I really didn’t know.” Jimin covered his face with both his hands.

“What made you embarrassed?” Yoongi comes up behind them with an Iced Americano cupped in his hands.

“You remember the girl that bumped into you when went to the restroom? Hobi-hyung and I saw her evaluation and I didn’t realize that I was staring at her the whole time. He just pointed this out to me now.” Jimin, still with a hand covering half his face. “Hobi-hyung, you should’ve told me to stop or something. That’s too embarrassing.”

Yoongi sat down on a vacant chair beside Taehyung. “Actually, I need to apologize to her as well.” The four boys turned their heads to Yoongi looking all confused. Taehyung was about to ask him for the reason but he was soon cut off by Jimin.

“Was it because she bumped into you outside the restroom? And you didn’t help her up?” Yoongi’s face became a bit darker, frowning.

“We already bumped into each other the first time this morning. I was so pissed off about something that I just ignored her and walked away. The second time was with you, Jimin.” Yoongi sipped his coffee once more, contemplating on his actions. He admits that despite being so pissed at something, he should’ve at least shown decency and helped you up. Now that he knows he’s probably going to see you around and work with you, he felt awkward thinking back on how disrespectful he was towards you.

“Wow. You’ve met this woman today and she’s already bumped into you twice, Suga-hyung. She also made Jimin-hyung bothered and Hobi-hyung eager to work with her after seeing her dance. Now I’m interested in meeting her.” Jungkook jokingly teased his elder members as he chows down his sandwich.

…..

After the evaluation, we were told that they will be contacting us again after a few days and if deemed unworthy by the other dance directors from their opinions on our evaluation, we will be informed if we passed or not. Apparently, our positions on the dance team is not final. I still have to wait for a few days to know my fate. All the dance directors walked out the room and all of the other dancers started packing up their stuff. Some of them walked up to me and praised me for my performance. They also teased me that they were afraid that I was so caught up with my nerves when the two BTS members walked in during my evaluation. They said that if it was them, they would be so nervous as well and commended me for still giving a wonderful performance despite my obvious stumble when the music started.

One by one, the dancers head home. I glanced at my watch and was surprised with how fast time flies. It’s already 4 in the afternoon. I phoned my brother to check on him.

“You done with work? We just finished and everyone went home. Can we eat out? I need some company, I feel so drained. My treat.” I stayed in front of the door out the practice room as I swiftly typed in my message.

Thinking back, I haven’t had the time to process what a whirlwind this day was. It started on a bad first meeting with Suga (which was definitely my fault), a surprise evaluation from the dance team, bumping into Suga again (still my fault. By the way, I really need to be careful from now on) and meeting Jimin in the most unappealing places ever, impressed the dance directors but absolutely botched the second dance when Jimin and J-hope came in to watch, and finally, I’m still not sure if I’ll get this job or not because I still have to wait for their mail. I’m so proud of myself that I’m still standing up straight. Thinking about it just makes my knees buckle. I can barely hold myself straight due to my nerves before when I try to dance in front of other people or even when I met BTS once at a fan meet. I should give myself a pat on the back. Yup, I deserve that for getting out of my comfort zone and not making myself look like an idiot in front of everyone.

“Your treat? I’m about to finish. Wait for me.” My brother replied. I laughed so hard. Bribing each other with food is truly our signature move. Not that I’m complaining but you can never say no to free food.

“Korean Barbeque it is.”

Next part: 3

bru, give me dom!Shane headcanons pls

Long ass headcanon list with background, shyan and even shara, and all that nobody actually asked for, i’M SO SORRY– under the cut:

Background

It all started when he was having a not strings attached relationship with a woman named Hannah back in college. She loved when he got dirty and possessive, and slowly asked for more until she was explaining to him about how she loved being a sub, and she thought he had potential for domming.

At first, he just wanted to try it out because it was fun to do shit with her, but he ended up liking it a lot.

Once she invited him to the bdsm club she often went to, he thought of trying other stuff to find out if he was comfortable as a dom or could switch, or prefered to be a sub himself. Since he only dommed her, he had the doubt if it was because he liked it or because she liked it.

Still, as they were together, he didn’t try anything else and didn’t went to the club alone ever.

Eventually, they went their separate ways but are always happy to see each other at the club when he goes. She also recommended him with people from another club at LA when Hannah heard he was moving after college.

They still see each other from time to time at club parties and so. She and her current husband are golden memebers of the club, and she always invites Shane to their parties even if he doesn’t go.

College

Shane never really had a sub aside from Hannah during that time, mostly because he was busy studying and finding out what he liked.

Breaking his relationship with Hannah allowed him to have a few first of his own, like the first time he dared to go alone to the club. He stuck by the bar and agreed to fuck with another girl after talking so much with her, he actually thought nothing would happen.

After that, he went more often when he felt like he needed his mind somewhere else.

He tried a lot of kinds of dynamics as a sub, but realized he wasn’t really into that. It hardly did something for him and he just kept disappointing the person he was with. His desire for pleasing and devoting his entire body to that person and their pleasure was not the kind that works better on a sub, it made him realize he was better suited to be a dom.

So, he tried a bunch of dynamics as a dom. He def doesn’t like master/slaves dynamics, and he is so not into age play but isn’t sure why he does likes calling his sub baby girl/boy, and can take being called daddy if fitting.

He had his first boyfriend during that time but didn’t dare to bring up the idea of having a dynamic at first, the way it went down when he did made him believe maybe he shouldn’t the next time.

When it happened, it also went not okay and so, Shane decided he would keep that to himself unless he dated someone in the community. Which he did, he had a boyfriend he met at the club in Illinois and it was all good.

It only lastet a few months, though, since he then moved to L.A. and both decided to break things off before someone could get hurt. They are friendly to each other, but Shane is not sure if he is even still in the community.

General

Shane always adopts his sub’s safeword, commands and colors. Most of these are pretty standard so he finds it better that way.

Man, he is bad with dropping. He always knows what to do and how to do it, what to say and how to say it when it comes to his sub having a drop. But him? He is bad at it.

For a start, he never accepts he has one. Not sure if it’s pride or embarrassment, or just self-hate in the sense that he believes he shouldn’t be having one in the first place. He is there to make his sub feel good, he shouldn’t need comfort.

Eventually, with the right partner, he learned otherwise.

Shane’s drops are bad. He gets angry and snaps easily, and he gets annoyed easily too. He can get hurtful without even noticing.

He likes to talk about the scenes in detail, but sure as hell enjoys when he is told to improvise. He is very good at that, which has bring him good experiences.

The kind of scenes he enjoys the most are the ones where he has his sub’s body completely at his mercy. He loves kissing and sucking on skin, marking the person as his, having the space and chance to do them as he wishes and knows they enjoy the most.

While he is pretty much bisexual, Shane knows he kinda has a bit of a preference for guys. Yet, his best experiences in bdsm have always been with girls– until Ryan, that’s it.

Coming to L.A. was such a change, he didn’t visit the club Hannah recommended him during the first months. When he finally did, it was because he was too stressed and needed to get out now.

He hooked up with the same guy in there as he fit in BuzzFeed and met the people that would soon become his friends, included Ryan.

Not many people know this but most things he knows aren’t from experience but reading. He doesn’t wish to practice all the shit he knows, but he believes it’s good to be informed in case it comes in hand.

He is a kinky ass, dynamics aside. He does know he loves dirty talking, he has a thing for smaller people with big personalities that he can wreck in the best of ways, he gets off other people’s fear (not necessary at him, but if he can work a scene with such, that’s fine), being called titles and shit, he loves to eat out people– ass and pussy, he is all for it.

King of dirty talk.

Sara

He never thought he would have that with her. Never.

It happened because one day she asked him what was it about him getting hotter when she reacted to his dirty talk. He got nervous and ended up spilling too many things, finally after a long silene, he explained himself.

She seemed okay with that and that was it! But he noticed how she would let herself react so much more vocal and enthusiastic to his little instanses of dominance and dirty talk, it turned him on so much more, he wondered if it was just him going crazy.

Because he always wanted to have this with someone he loved. Shane always wondered how that would feel like, to be in love with his sub, want to worship them and please them with all he is, having that trust with the person that makes his days with the wave of their hand.

And then one day, as she was playfully nagging him in the kitchen as he finished cleaning up the dishes, she straight up puted and asked, “when are you fucking me like I know you want? I’ve been trying to put you in the mood for a month!”, she kept ramblind about how she had read little brats are a Thing and she thought he would like that, and as she kept talking about it, she didn’t saw the way he took off his watch and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt before towering in front of her and just saying “turn around”.

Poor, poor kitchen.

Their dynamic was never too hard and since it was almost a year into their relationship, it was deeper than any other Shane had before. 

Sometimes, she knew more about one thing than Shane himself, Sara kept reading and watching videos, and whatnot about things that called her attention. 

She would take these ideas to Shane later and ask if they could try and thing or two.

Lotsa dirty talk and oversensitivity.

They did A LOT of roleplay.

In fact, her favorite scene was one that lasted a week while on vacations. In it, she was Shane’s stressed and thight boss, and he was the new guy trying his best to win her over. 

Her character kept dragging him around, being mean and bossy until he realized what she needed and was able to take control for her. 

It was Banging Town for two days as the great finale.

His was one she planned all on her own for his birthday. 

She did a treasure hunting around all their favorite places in the city while texting him dirty pics of herself, the praize was her in the cutest sexy kitten lingerie/costume waiting for him on a fancy room of a fancy hotel where she would be his personal pleasure doll for the rest of the night and part of the morning. 

Boy, that was good.

God, Shane felt like dying every time he had her body against his. She was so fucking small, he just ksjnfmdksmdmsdmf.

Once, he made her come just from dirty talking. He’s very proud about it.

He took Sara to a party at the club, but even though they didn’t have any problems around, she confessed to not be much into it, so they never went again. Shane didn’t visit the club while with her, only that one time.

They never had a drop, but after they parted ways, Shane had a very bad one that ended in him telling someone about his practices.

Ryan

That someone was one very surprised, frustrated, amused and pining Ryan B*rgar*.

Shane hates the way Ryan found out. 

When they first met, he had the biggest crush on him but knew nothing would come out of it. Ryan was with someone and many things were unspoken back then, hell– he wasn’t even sure they were going to be friends. 

Ryan means so much to him, he truly hates the way things went when it comes to this theme.

He mourned his lost relationship mostly alone, but he always had this ray of sunshine following him around and asking shit. It annoyed him at times, but slowly made him realize he couldn’t do this by himself, and that’s how it actually began.

Shane has known Ryan is also a kinky ass, maybe even more than him, for a while. 

He knows Ryan has a thing for dominant people, the first thing he thought of him was “this dude is getting pegged” and when he met Ryan’s ex, “oh, he IS getting pegged”. 

Never had the means to find out and he’s respectful enough to shut up when in time the man became his friend. But dude. He is all for this potential.

As he healed, Ryan’s curiosity had started to put ideas in his head. The man keeps asking stuff, and Shane knows he is making his own researches. 

When one day he tells Shane he Did Something during his weekend and his heart aches, Shane realizes his feelings have come back.

With a fucking vengance, since he can’t stop thinking about his friend and all the possibilities.

They get into a romantic relationship first, Shane is sure they are going fast but at the same time it feels right. It feels like this is mean to happen, it’s the natural thing for them, and he has never felt that with a partner before.

One day, Ryan accidentally sees Shane’s invitation for Hannah and husband’s party in Illinois. The invitation is very… odd. It was golden and it called Ryan’s attention right away. As Shane explains what it is, Ryan gets enough corage to tell him he would like to go.

It was a great experience for both, not to mention the months before the party were filled with fun explorations and more.

Shane felt like this helped them bond deeper, since Ryan seemed to like the experience and said he would like to visit the club Shane attends in L.A.

After that, Hannah makes sure to invite them every year.

They had so much fun chosing a safeword and code, Shane helping Ryan learn about colors, the kind of dynamics there are, his two little rules, planning their first attempt at a scene. 

It was something pretty standard and soft compared with other shit Shane has done, but man– it was them, this was Ryan, and it was perfect in his book.

He knows it probably wasn’t, Ryan is constantly saying he regrets having used his safe word in the first time, while Shane keeps calling him out about it, saying how it’s important that he uses it every time he needs it.

Still, it was so good– and many others followed.

Ryan is different from all the other people Shane has been with and has practiced this with. 

He is needy but strong, he is vocal and loves to be held, he loves being taken care of. 

At the same time, he knows and is sure of what he wants, after a while he learned to ask for it and will willingly do as said in order to get it. 

He loves being a good boy, and he will be bad when he needs it, and his consent is always so enthusiastic and happy, It overwhelmed Shane at first, but always in a good way. 

Shane is so enamored with him, it feels like this will be the best of his life.

It costed Ryan a little to let go of a few things. Like the way he sometimes would drop because he refused aftercare or how whiny he would get when Shane didn’t want to do so and so. 

Mostly, Shane refuses to hurt him and sometimes it drives Ryan crazy because, “I’m not made of glass, Shane”. Eventually, they would learn how to balance this and find a middle ground where both can enjoy things.

Ryan’s favorite scenes are the ones that involve sensory deprivation, especially of his sight. And the ones involving fear. His fear kink is so prominent, Shane wonders how the FUCK he didn’t realize before.

This, of course, gets them into very interesting territories and explorations at locations or at their hotel room after a fright night for Ryan.

They have a recurrent one in which Shane is an actual demon and it turns on Ryan so much, Shane is surprised to find out it turns him on like fucking hell.

He has gotten creative with this one, from just dialogues and some sort of backstory they did together, to make up and props, and costumes, and whatever is necessary to make the atmosphere in their room to be more demon-y-like.

They have the “Kinky Room”, as Shane calls it, on their apartment when they move in together. It’s just kinda the guest room, they just fill it with their toys and other stuff that helps with scenes when in The Mood.

Once in the mood, it’s almost impossible to get them out of it. Shane is better at putting a pause, and he always helps Ryan through it.

MAN, SUBSPACE. Shane is sure he has never seen something so beautiful as Ryan in subspace.

His aftercare when this happens is always the sweetest, Ryan can’t hide how much he loves it.

Shane always asks him to describe to him how he feels when he comes back from the high.

It often leans to them having some sleep and waking up to make love. Soft and slow, really loving.

The first time Shane had a drop while with Ryan, the man was so ready for it, it had a bad effect on him. It made him feel like if Ryan thought he was such a bad dom, he would have a drop sooner or later.

Once he calmed down and talked to Ryan, Shane apologized and tried his best to understand his sub also takes care of him, because this is a mutual thing.

He doesn’t drop often, can go actual years without one. But it’s a good thing he has such a prepared and sweet sub.

Ryan’s drop aren’t often either, but they were at the beginning. Shane is so good at taking care of him, it made Ryan realize he wanted to be with this man for the rest of his life.

Like the saps they are, they have a recurrent fantasy in which they are different people for their anniversary. Ryan is a dentist that just realized he is into men and doesn’t have many experience (lmao, college ‘come in me, bro’ frat Ryan has to laugh) and Shane is a lonely history professor with a kinky side.

They both know is the most vanilla shit in the world and YET, they love it so much, they are always excited about it as the day approaches.

It also always ends in them laughing in bed, an aftercare for the two of them that always has them in a good mood the next morning.

No matter how kinky they can get the night before, they always make sweet, sweet love in the morning the next day.

Punishments are such a thing with them because Ryan loves challenging Shane and sometimes he just wants to be treated hard. He loves the pain in a very different way from Shane.

There’s a lot of spanking to the point Ryan’s ass and thighs are bruised for days. The aftercare for these moments is always long and filled with a lot of love. 

But Shane’s punishment of choice is edging. In many, many ways. Pure torture as he has Ryan naked and tied to the bed or a chair, jerking him off to almost coming, then leaving without a single word. Blowing him, eating him out, fucking him, then leaving when he is almost there. 

Cock rings, plugs, bullet vibrators, vibrators with remote controlers– and Ryan loves all of it.

He would make Ryan walk with a vibrator up his ass for an entire week without letting him rub off one, he can’t come, can’t touch himself, and Shane is not touching him– but he is touching Shane. Of course, those are the most amazing Sundays ever. 

Sometimes Shane feels guilty, so Ryan always does his fucking best to remind him he wanted this and he is happy because of it, because Shane makes him happy.

Whipping is also a thing that happens, it drives Ryan crazy.

Lotsa marking and possessiveness during sex. Shane gets off so much on the idea that Ryan is his and he is Ryan’s, it’s a blessing Ryan feels the same way and is often begging to be his.

The way Ryan begs driver Shane crazy.

He would do anything for Ryan, so having him wanting to give hismelf like this, wanting Shane to have him, take care of him, love him whole and as he deserves? The Dream.

Shane is constantly calling Ryan sweet names. His favorites are baby, sweetheart and angel. 

Ryan is his “gorgeous angel”, and it sometimes play so good with their demon fantasy.

Once Ryan confesed he loved being called sweet names by Shane, he decided he would never stop.

Sometimes he would call him baby boy and prince.

When he calls Ryan ‘little guy’ or ‘little prince’, the man always reacts by moaning louder or melting against his chest, it’s amazing.

Ryan always refers to him as ‘sir’ and by his name during scenes. Sometimes he uses ‘Mr. Madej’ and when fitting, daddy.

The daddy kink thing was something that just happened.

When they talked about it, they ended up laughing so much, they realized it wasn’t really an issue.

None is into age play, though. Ryan just likes being called sweet things and taken care of, it just slips out of him.

When he is way too turned on, he switches from english to spanish, and spanish to english. So Shane is either called daddy or papi, and he loves both.

Doesn’t matter if they get old and rusty, being connected through this, loving each other like this, trusting each other like they do will always be an important and loving aspect of their relationship for both of them.

#2 Wonders of the unknown (Damaged) pt. 1 - for Eren/Levi Angst Weekend

There’s a story behind the monster under the cut, I swear. It was supposed to be a cute, little thing a couple of pages long, angst as the event required, about goodbyes and whatnot. But it became a novel. Jocking. When I finished, it was 10k long, so something needed to be done about that. That’s why this is going to be a short story in two parts, the first for today’s theme and the second one tomorrow. Something possesed me and I felt very inspired. Not sure what came out of it, though, and I’d love to have some opinion! If some part sounds awkward, I think it’s due to the fact that English in not my native language and I’m still trying to understand how to wrap my head around my thoughts and try using them in my writing. That’s it, I’ll shut up.

Title: Wonders of the unknown Prompt: Damaged for #ereriangstweekend by @ererievents​  Rating: Mature Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin Pairing: Eren Jaeger/Levi Ackerman  Word count: 4.8k Additional tags: Alternative Universe - Dystopia (sort of), Soulmates AU, Angst, Bits of smut, Fluff  Summary: In this world, everyone has a soulmate, but it hasn’t always been easy to find them -not like now. Years of scientific progress helped the world organize and engulf the functioning of the Red Thread of Fate into the system, so that no one would fear not meeting their destined one ever again. Levi Ackerman is finally twenty, and the Red Ceremony -where young men and women meet their soulmates for the first time- is close. Or is it really?

Read under the cut or on ao3

*** Levi…

Blinking sleep away from his eyes, the world started to fall into place as his consciousness came back.

Spots of light danced in his vision, and a dull ache was spreading into his head, giving him a hard time when he tried to focus on his surroundings.

There wasn’t that much anyway -the clothes of the previous day neatly folded and placed on his chair, desk almost empty, simply organized with things that could easily come in handy, wardrobe closed in front of the bed, his phone on the nightstand, flashing lightly with an incoming call.

Oh. Maybe that was what woke him up. If the caller knew Levi, they were not very smart.

«What» was all he said to the one at the other end of the phone. It was risky -could have been the higher ups or his boss, but something told him it was a certain someone, far more annoying and less dangerous for his working life. More or less.

«Don’t tell me you were still in bed!» a girl’s voice yelled, Levi’s hand snapping away the device from his throbbing ear drum.

There. Of course.

«I was waking up rather peacefully before you called just to screech in my ears»

He could perfectly picture Hanji’s eye rolling back into her head.

«I’m just being the awesome friend I am. So? Ready for the Ceremony?»

«What are you blabbing about, shitty-»

«THE RED Ceremony, you grumpy ass! Come down right now before I barge into your quarters and drag you out!»

The call disconnected, and Levi was left staring at his phone’s display blinking at him and going black, trying to give a bit of needed order to the thoughts in his head.

The Red Ceremony. Right. How come did he forget about it? Was it today?

Checking out on his phone not only told him that yes, today was the day, but also that he was awfully late for that meeting he agreed to go when Hanji asked him to.

Hanji probably called him for that -wondering what was keeping him, since usually he wasn’t the kind of person to lose track of time so easily. Why was he asleep so early in the afternoon, anyway?

Scrolling his head, trying to dissipate the fog of sleepiness, he shifted the comforter and padded toward the bathroom, urging his body into getting ready for the day.

A shower was exactly what he needed, hot water brushing his skin in a warm caress that took away every trace of sweat and restlessness. He frowned, scratching at his scalp and his hair, getting rid of any trace of shampoo left.

That strange feeling, as if he had been misplaced somehow while he was sleeping, was still lingering. Either he had gotten drunk without remembering, or he had a very disturbing dream that faded away from his memory, making him feel as if something in the back of his head was tumbling against his skull. Levi was far from being squeamish, so he didn’t have a clue of what could have happened that left him this bothered with him remembering.

Who knew.

Getting out of the shower and going on with his morning routine, Levi brushed his teeth after looking for his toothbrush and combed his hair after drying them up, then went to turn on the coffee machine, moving back to his room to choose his outfit -black boots, black tight-fitting jeans, white button down, pretty simple- and retrieve his phone, feeling like a ghost in his own home. Has it always been that quiet?

In the kitchen, the coffee machine was already gifting him with the flavor of his morning drink. Levi closed his eyes and inhaled, filling his lungs with the familiar scent, then took the cup he placed in the machine and lifted it to his mouth by the edge.

It hit him at the first sip that something was strange.

The cup was already there -he always prepared it before going to bed so that it was easier for him when he was half asleep-, but it wasn’t his own. There weren’t cups with handles in his house, since he didn’t like using them, and when he rarely had people over, they settled for what he had.

But that? White, with a little cactus and a comic-like bubble within which the text Stay away from me! was imprinted -that was nothing short of his own possession.

He took a deep breath.

He emptied the cup and put it in the sink, leaving it to wash for later.

Heading to the entrance, he put on his coat, grabbed his wallet and house keys and got out of the apartment.

The Red Ceremony was this sorting thing everyone had to face in their lives.

Just once, though, since the SP (short for Soulmates Program), working along with the Caste system, assembled all the young individual of the society in their twenties or above in order to officialize or present them their other halves.

It was a really boring and fancy way, administrated by the government of Sina, to regulate the Red Thread Bond that occurred between people when they met their destined mate.

The red string around one’s right little finger has always been the proof that somewhere, out there, that person’s perfect other half existed. But meeting, as much as it was decided by fate, wasn’t always certain or secure, and many lived in restlessness and fear, increasing the discontent in the world.

In the city of Sina, the Soulmates Project was born precisely to look for a solution and heighten the chance of finding mated pairs within their first 30-40 years of life.

They found out that the red string released some sort of chemical factor in the blood around the twentieth year of a person’s life, and that it was possible to scientifically find a match in just one other person. It hadn’t always been a quick method, nor perfect, since both mates in the pair had to be twenty to show the chemical factor, not mentioning the fact that there wasn’t often the guarantee that both were even in the same city.

But now that the SP had spread to the rest of the world, it became a problem of the past.

After months of success, when it became clear that the program was working and ready to grow into a stable part of people’s life, the Ceremony of the Red Thread of Fate, or how it was now known as Red Ceremony, was established.

That was why Levi and Hanji were heading toward The Hall, the only building big and dignified enough to host the event in the whole Sina.

Many of their friends and those of their own age, who eagerly entered the double door of The Hall for the first time looking around in wonder, were already there, chatting friendly or pointing at the huge mirrors in the main corridor or at the beautiful crystal chandelier.

Some of them where too nervous to look around in hope to meet the eyes of their mate, others, bolder, didn’t shy away from the groups of boys and girls that came there from different cities.

A few, like Hanji, had already met their mate months prior and where there only to support their friends.

«Moblit!»

She left his said, jumping in the arms of a young man a couple of steps farther from them, in a corner of one of the many rooms that this place had where the rest of their friends were.

«Ehi Levi! Are you nervous for today?»

Levi turned his head to look at Petra, whose smile was knowing and open. She was aware of his hate for fancy things like that, so it wasn’t really a question that needed his answer.

But it made him think.

Rolling his eyes into his head and ignoring her laugh, Levi thought about how under the weather he felt when that should have been one of the most crucial moments of his life.

Somehow, he had forgot of the Red Ceremony, filtering it as something of the past.

Somehow, it kept eluding him -the reason why that day should be important to him.

There is a high chance you’ll find your match today, if they’re already twenty. You should be at least curious.

But it didn’t feel like it, and Levi didn’t know how to explain the void in his heart.

The afternoon was full of his friends smiles and nervous glance, wondering how and where and if.

«Don’t you feel like you belong right here, right now?» Hanji had beamed with enthusiasm at one point.

No, he wanted to say. No, I feel like I need to run away. Run away as fast as possible, where I really need to be. If only he knew where that was.

When the Ceremony begun, those who came from other cities where called following their mates’ position in society. Since Sina was organized according to the Caste System, the richer and more powerful people in the city had the honor to represent the entire event and show off their sons and daughters to the society, presenting them as their heirs.

Being called to Sina and have a mate there was a privilege for those from other cities, since it was where the SP and the Red Ceremony first made their appearance.

It was all about money, wealth and what one’s position in the Caste system was, and it did nothing but deprive the moment of all of its deep and sacred meaning.

Fancy and ridiculous as fuck, had always thought Levi.

While he watched, something occurred to him.

Or to be more specific, a small set of shivers danced in his mind, playing with the outskirt of his field of vision, making him turn his head toward the corner of the room.

Odd. That was odd, akin to when he ate something cold and got brain freeze for that, only in the opposing sense, more as if that same part was thawing out slowly.

He had been there before plenty of times, for his friends’ Ceremonies, of course, but when a sudden, crushing sense of déjà vu made his head spin, he had to move a little bit away from the crowd and lean against the wall, looking around, searching for-

a similar room, a bit smaller, casted in the twilight’s light. There were many people -parents, siblings, friends-, loud and happy, none of his friends in sight. He moved to a corner of the room, distancing himself, and there he stood. A man, with broad shoulders and brown hairs under a winter hat, silently gazing at his hand, playing with his sunglasses with the other. Levi hadn’t looked down, ignoring the way his string glowed red and twirled happily. He had been moving a couple of steps forward, enraptured, inhaling rasping breathes, when the stranger had finally raised his face. It was blue. And green. And amber. No, it was the three together? Just green? He wasn’t sure, and something deep, deep inside of him needed to understand that.   That was all he could think about. The stranger’s mouth parted-

clapping hands roughly took him away from that vision.

His sight fogged a bit, leaving him dizzy for a few seconds.

Around him, everyone was congratulating the first branch of mated pairs of the Ceremony, but Levi was far, far away, immersed in eyes of unspeakable colors.

 «Soooo»

Levi looked over, glancing lazily at Hanji on his right.

His confusion must have been clear on his face, because she kept quiet for a moment before saying: «So, how is she?»

«You mean…»

«Nifa, I mean Nifa»

When he didn’t reply, Hanji took a quick look to the rest at the table -they were in a restaurant, Levi noticed suddenly, with their friends chatting animatedly, blinding smiles on their faces. Then, she gave them her back and leaned on Levi.

«Okay, that’s enough. You’ve been out of it for the whole day, getting up late and not even cracking a smile after meeting your soulmate. What’s going on, uh?»

Levi frowned, holding his temple while bits of images rushed in his head -the Ceremony, the red string’s lighting up, Nifa’s smiling face, they exchanging phone numbers and signing their release from the first part of the SP. It felt like something in his brain was fast forwarding the last couple of hours of his life -as if he hadn’t been there at all and someone was replaying those memories for him in his head.

What the hell was happening to him?

His phone -he held it in his hand, when did he took it out?- blinked at him, letting him know that there was a new message, and the name Nifa felt alien and familiar to him at the same time.

«I don’t know. Nothing, really. Just… it’s a lot to take in»

Hanji kept scrutinizing him, like she was having a hard time believing him.

«You know you can’t fool me, shorty»

«Don’t call me shorty»

«I only speak the truth»

The truth is that they will reject the fact that we are meant to be.

Shivers, and the voice of a man.

His right hand was trembling.

«Levi?»

He got up from the chair, attracting everyone’s attention at the table.

«I think I’m going home. I’m tired»

 When the door closed behind him, he was more or less calm. The brisk, cool air of that evening -January had given them a little break from the snow, allowing bits of relative warmth into Sina’s winter- helped him clear up his thoughts and gain control over his nerves, that were rattling against his skin as if they were on fire.

He was fine.

He finally had a soulmate, someone he would get to know -following the protocol, obviously, through dates, holydays and what not, all set up by the final part of the SP. Someone to cherish, who would cherish him, forever.

So why did it feel wrong?

He put his coat, wallet and keys away, going to the living room and throwing the phone on the couch, Nifa’s text still unread. Flashes of something kept trying to break the quietude of his mind.

He took his time in the shower, eyes closed, head tipped back-

You are ticklish? No, it was just your imagination.

His eyelids shut even more, while fits of laughter echoed in his bathroom, a knot of fear tightening in his stomach.

 It had seemed simple enough.

Go to The Hall, feign indifference, let Hanji nag you to get the distraction you needed without asking to.

There were so many people surrounding you, experiencing the same kind of feelings you were going through -nothing knew, it was how things worked.

You were nervous, just didn’t like feeling it or admitting it aloud.

Many rooms were already full, especially the main ones, where those of the highest Caste were waiting for the Ceremony to begin.

You and your friend went to the section of the building were those of your Caste belonged to -less fancy, but nothing short of elegant and sparkling.

You didn’t want to look at your hand. You wanted to search them for yourself, looking around, keeping your heartbeat at bay as long as you could. So you separated from your friends, told them you wanted to walk a bit, alone, and they let you.

Soon, the crowd started giving you this suffocating feeling, as if you were going to drown here and there. You went to a corner of the room, distancing yourself, when suddenly something shot within you. Your eyes moved frantically around, checking, inspecting, exploring, and oh!, there he stood.

A man, with broad shoulders and brown hair under a winter hat, silently gazing at his hand, playing with his sunglasses with the other with a distant expression on his face.

You hadn’t looked down, had ignored the way your string glowed red and twirled happily. You had been moving a couple of steps forward, enraptured, inhaling rasping breathes, when the stranger had finally raised his face.

It was blue. And green. And amber.

No, it was the three together? Just green? You weren’t sure, and something deep, deep inside of you needed to understand that.  

That was all you could think about.

The stranger’s mouth parted, and you both moved without even realizing it.

«It’s you»

There was wonder and surprise in the man’s eyes, as if he had never seen something quite like you. It wasn’t hard for you to understand the feeling -you felt the same way.

He was beautiful.

Exotic eyes, honey skin, chiseled features, long hair of a chocolate color that had your mouth watering just with a look. He seemed fit under his clothes, your hands trembling because you were restraining them from raising and touching him.

He was perfect, and handsome, and he was your mate.

It was too good to be true.

«My name is Eren» the stranger said, not bothering to bring up his hands and waiting patiently for you to do the same and take his.

He leaned in, lifting his arm and taking a hold of your fingers, gently intertwining them with his own and pulling you closer.

Your heart almost burst out from your ribcage, lungs frozen, breath trapped in your throat.

Somehow, that reaction made the man -Eren, you know his name, now, you told yourself giddily- laugh a little, and he had to remind you to inhale before you lost your consciousness.

«Sorry, I…»

«It’s okay, Levi»

Something shifted in you -his voice gave you chills, the good ones, and how good your name sounded on his lips-

«How- how do you know my name?»

A cloud appeared in his eyes, dulling the light that had been lighting them up from the moment he saw you.

«It’s complicated, maybe as much as what I’m going to have to ask you to do»

The giddy, happy feeling that had filled you until that instant was starting to fade.

«What do you mean?»

What was going on? Well, you couldn’t have known.

Not back then.

«I know it’ll sound strange, but I need you to come with me»

«Uh…?»

«Please. I’ll explain later, but we need to get away from here»

Confusing thoughts swirled into your mind.

«What are you talking about? The Ceremony-»

«It’s not what you think it is»

There was something in his eyes -something that was burning from within, that warmed its way into you, leaving you without words. This person, this stranger -your mate, the one who was destined to you, the man on the other side of your red string, string that was sparling in a bright, deep red color when you looked down at it.

«Please»

You raised your head again.

The Ceremony had always sounded ridiculous to you, and you hated the emotion that reminded you how you were part of the very same system -hated feeling restless and impatient because you couldn’t wait for it to be your turn.

And now, now that you had finally found him, there wasn’t really much to do. You would listen to what he had to say, and deal with the consequences.

«Alright, lead the way»

Days passed, before things started making sense. 

When the tea was ready, he set his cup on the small table in front of his couch, a book on his lap, and got comfortable.

You’re so small, I love having you all snuggled against me. Say that again and I’m going to castrate you. Eh, your loss, Levi.

He fisted his hair, ignoring his book sliding down on the floor, and pulled hard. Since the Ceremony, images kept flashing in his head without giving him a break. He tried to shove them down, to behave as if they weren’t there, stuck in his brain, torturing him with that sweet, sickening feeling of something missing, something precious and beautiful and relaxing and exciting -someone, who was not there, and it was wrong.

You’ll forget. No. There’s no way I’ll forget this.

An intense wave of pleasure wracked him, leaving him panting for air of the cushions, eyes wide open.

Levi! Yes, keep calling my name, because I’ll always remember yours, E-

His head was throbbing painfully now, in total contrast with the way his dick begged for attention, the two different kind of stimulations cursing through him and rendering him useless. It hurt and it was good and Levi didn’t know what he was feeling anymore -if the lust filling feeling his body was giving him or the stabbing pain in his head.

God, don’t stop- Levi- Keep fucking me, harder- go faster-

He was going crazy, for sure, but the pleasure he was feeling -it was his own, had his dick hard and leaking, his hand reaching down into his pants while his brain seemed to settle for a dull throb, distant in his lust induced haze.

Levi was riding someone, and that someone was screaming his name. Ghost hands gripped his hips tightly, and he closed his eyes, getting lost in the sensation.

Shit- Levi, I’m- Yes, yes, yes, come inside me.

His fist was already moving on his length, taking advantage of the pre-cum that kept running down on his hand. Only, it wasn’t his hand anymore, but his.

Tears started streaming down his cheeks and with a few more thrusts he came, much sooner that any other time before, spilling on his abs and shirt. For once, he didn’t care much.

The back of his head touched the cushions again. He put a hand on his mouth, trying to rein in his sobs, but a name slipped out of his lips like a prayer.

«Eren…»

The two of you didn’t meet any of your friends on the way out, and a part of you was glade for that.

The other was asking you what you thought you were accomplishing by running away.

You had always been fairly grounded, realist and pragmatic, but that wasn’t anything like the usual you.

But Eren’s hand was still linked to yours, so tightly that it seemed to reciprocate the similar grasp that he had on your heart since the moment you saw him.

An enchantment you hope would last forever.

He maneuvered you out of the crowd of people infesting the corridors and out of The Hall altogether, slipping into a side road almost immediately. There, a motorbike was waiting for you.

And that made you finally hesitate. It was one thing going out and talking, but this…

A click sounded in the air. When you looked closely to what Eren had in his hands, your body froze in growing fear.

«That’s-»

«A gun» Eren said, nodding when he made sure the safety was on and passing it to you.

«For you. We may be soulmates, but I know that what I’m ask you is not easy. Besides, we’re still strangers. After you hear me out, I’ll go away, if that’s what you want. That» he said, pointing at the weapon now within your reach, «is your assurance. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but if in any moment you think I’m going to, then shoot me»

You took it, something in you relaxing, knowing that with the gun you could get the upper hand quickly if something went wrong. But it was also a double-edged sword, since it made you trust him a little more.

«I take it you know how to use it»

His tone seemed smug, knowing, and you observed him while he took out two helmets, extending one to you.

You reached back, tucking the gun in the jeans on your back, hiding it under your coat. Then, cautious but swift, you took the helmet and placed it on your head.

«I like shooting. But I get the feeling you knew about it, like you knew my name»

The guilty expression that Eren couldn’t manage to hide was an answer enough. You sighed, walking toward him and getting on the bike. Your reluctant acceptance surprised him, if that glint in his eyes and the hesitant smile on his lips was anything to go by.

You felt yourself blush, and hurried him up on the vehicle to avoid him seeing it.

«Let’s go somewhere you’ll feel comfortable»

The motorbike roared to life, and in the next twenty minutes you guided him through Sina’s street, following a familiar pattern of turns and side roads.

Your destination was a little apartment complex in the business district, close to your work office. When Eren, looking around curiously, asked you where exactly you brought him, you told him it was your apartment.

You weren’t sure, but it seemed like Eren felt slightly embarrassed, but you couldn’t be sure, since you both were painted in the colors of sunset. Nevertheless, the thought alone pleased you.

Entering, you invited Eren to take a sit on the couch, announcing you were making tea. He did, taking his coat and hat off, and you went to the kitchen, getting everything ready in the awkward silence.

You joined him in the living room when the tea was ready, asking him about sugar and milk, which he accepted. He talked a bit about him, uncertain, telling you he was twenty-four and that he lived out of town -maybe he wanted to break to ice, to make him appear more normal to your eyes.

Was it working? In that moment you were convinced it wasn’t, but it was. He was truly endearing.

«There»

You placed the tea in his hands, waiting for him to get a good grasp since there was no handle, before taking you own cup and sitting on the other side of the couch, leaving space between you and him. You placed the gun beside you, on the other side compared to where Eren sat, and felt relieved.

«That’s… a curious way a holding it»

You finished taking your sip, calmly, scrutinizing him and the tight hold with which his hand clutched at the cup.

«You should buy one with a handle, you know? I have one with a cactus on it, exclaiming “Stay away from me!”. It reminds me of you, if you want it I’ll give it to you as a present»

You hated it every time your friends brought it up, but now you couldn’t help. You laughed, shaking your head soon after, reminding yourself the seriousness of the situation. But when you glanced at him, he was smiling widely.

You were quick to bring the cup to your lips and drink.

«So» you said, trying to get your control back. «Why did you make me take you here?»

«You don’t beat around the bush, uh?»

«Not usually»

That made you gain a very charming smile, with dimples and all, that complete with the wild chocolate nest on Eren’s head gave him a childish appearance.

«The reason is fairly simple» he started, slowly becoming serious.

«I wanted to meet you, and keep you safe»

Okay, you expected it to be a rather strange talk, but he had yet to explain everything and you already felt like it didn’t make sense.

You told yourself to keep your cool and rein your impatience.

«I am a ghost» he kept going, dropping his eyes from yours and sipping his tea.

«I don’t exist in any of the Sina’s database, I am not in the SP, I am not a citizen for the government. That’s because when I was born, my parents kept my existence a secret. They met at the Red Ceremony, but not as mates for the SP. The program had destined them to other people (told them those were their mates when it was not true), and when they went to seek answers, they were told the SP did not lie, and that they were wrong. Ulterior protests caused them to have their memories wiped»

He stopped for a moment, letting the information he gave you sink slowly. His pause probably was timed and carefully chosen, since the last thing he said had you looking up at him as if you didn’t know if you wanted to call him crazy or kick him out of there.

«They… took your parents’ memories away?»

Eren nodded, testing your response. You sagged back, careful not to spill any tea on the couch.

«You know that sounds-»

«Absurd? I know. I would have struggled believing it too, if I didn’t know for certain that such a technology existed. I just want you to keep listening and then deciding what you want to do, okay? Please»

Please. There went all his logic.

«I already said yes, didn’t I? Go on»

Eren nodded, sipping nervously from his cup.

He didn’t know how much time had passed.

«Hello?»

«Hanji. It’s me»

«I know it’s you, you ass!»

«Can you come over?»

That did the trick. He almost never asked her to come over.

«Give me ten minutes»

Finally, am I done giving my full thoughts on/venting my own experiences in 2017. Warning for child abuse, brief mention of/implied suicide, and homophobia.

Shoving the honest and blunt thought of how 2017 as numbers means nothing to me ( if you can get what I'm saying ) aside, looking at my chapter overall of this soon to be ending year, as I said before, it could've been better.

During the beginning of 2017 was when I had to deal with the loss of my very close friend as he left me even after everything I had done to give him the love and support he needed. Sure, the loss was mostly my fault; I snapped at him because of my paranoia and anxiety was running so high as I thought he was mad at me for dropping our long-term love plots for our OCs when I wanted to focus on my education more than roleplaying, but I still wish we could've actually talk and settle things right to each other, but if he wished to not do so and instead leave me and the things we had done together behind as he doesn't want forgive me, that's okay. People come and go, and what I did was a complete shitty as I should've known better so I don't blame him for leaving me. I just hope he's doing okay today and may 2018 and beyond treat him well. I know he had gone through so much and probably still does in the present, especially when Tr.mp was elected, even if it hurts a lot knowing I lost him in the end, I'm just glad that before we never talk to each other again, I managed to do for him what I always wanted to do all the time. To give the love and support when he needed them the most.

Meanwhile until September, I also have to deal with my so called friend at my school. He's narcissistic, unwilling to express much care, once threatened my other friend he would blackmail him, pretty much my mom 2.0 as in manipulative and an asshole. Again, I'm fine with him now, but during those months were so fucking shitty, and the fact I didn't feel like school could be like a tiny home to me with my friends, mainly Casey, while my apartment is fucking shit when my abusive and toxic mom is around, which is like 99.5% she is, was so depressing because there were no where else I could go besides internet with my online friends that would make me feel just a bit at least that I am still alive and real. Still does it blew my mind I had a 100% on my math test as I'm fucking terrible at math, but too bad I couldn't be proud of myself when that day was horrible having to deal with that fucker.

During the spring break on March, that was when I had a girlfriend. If I can actually tell it is supposed to be had instead of have. She was intelligent, funny, and just a wonder to be with. We reunited after we both left the roleplay site forum when it got revamped and haven't seen each other for months until that day we met again on Tumblr. She started saying how she should take me away and live with her somewhere far. How we should be together as a couple. I took her sayings as to date, and we did. Until in the middle of August, we lost touch as I realized she's not as friendly as I thought. I shouldn't be surprised, knowing her personality, but I just believed. Like a fool. To hear from my other friend how she was talking shit behind her back and lying about her when she couldn't be able to tell what holds behind her texts. My ex-girlfriend’s words and actions are just as worse as a stranger doing it, especially knowing how hers along with many others made my friend feel horrible and ashamed of herself to the point she wanted to give up. Even if she did it to someone who I’m just a stranger to, I do not ever accept that sort of attitude and mindset from anyone who does that, unless the person who are being treated that way had done or said way worse than not being able to tell how their texts were worded rudely or sarcastically when it wasn't intended to. Either you shut the fuck up or talk and behave civilly. It's so simple.

The problem I had with her ( anyway - if it weren't for her turning out to be a disgusting asshole ) was the lack of interactions, mainly from me. Both in reality and on the internet, I'm... not that great at socializing. So the fact her and I just drifted off to each other without saying any goodbyes or anything at all in the end doesn't really surprise me. Again, as I said earlier, people come and go, and I know with the friends I have today, they would all go, and I always tell every single one of them I love them because even if it hurts so much, I will never know when they would, so it's just best for me to remind them I love them. And I love them. And I want them to know even if them and I don't end up keeping in touch anymore, I love them so so much. I say this many times but I'm horrible at interacting and I never will. I'm not interesting as I don't get into many tv series, books, films, whatever. I get distracted easily, I don't have much time getting into them, and I'm so wary of the actors, actresses, writers, etc because nowadays, some of them would turn out to be completely way different as in disgusting and horrible than how they usually act towards their fans and such ( such as M.lanie M.rtinez and N.ck R.binson from Polygon who turned out to be garbage this year ). I shouldn't spend part of my life looking up to and even take my time and effort into making my content for what or who is actually full of shit. Fuck them. Even if I am into few things at least, I rarely talk to people about it unless they prompted me to, though eventually I don't continue it because I don't know how to. So if you talk to me, don't be surprised I don't often reply back when either I don't know how to continue the conversation or I'm overwhelmed at the thoughts of annoying you or whatever along the line. It’s very exhausting to talk to me, so really, I don't blame anyone even my close friends and partners who drifts away from me. But if you really want to be my friend, I advice you to keep talking to me, keep throwing topics at me, anything that would make it easy for you, even if I don't end up carrying it, just do it.

I think the absolute worse part of 2017 was when I believe on April when I got my journal book to do my journal stuff, I drew Casey as his favourite animal, and I drew a pin on him that said “I’m gay”. My mom saw, and she got extremely mad at me, telling me “being gay isn't something to be proud of,” and she kept shoving questions down in my throat if he was trans as she was also transphobic and I had to lie to her, replying that he's a new friend of mine while [ his dead name ] left the school. I apologized many times and thankfully I was forgiven, but I felt extremely shitty saying his dead name and to be honest, I still do. I should've done better but I just panicked and that was the first thing that came to mind. Then that was when my mom started to actually ignore me and for the first time she actually neglected me, she didn't give me my dinner as I have to get it myself, and she was mad at me for almost a week, which that's the longest time she was so at me. When I got my dinner after realizing she didn't give me any food, she asked me why as she thought I would stay in my room. At that time, I become completely careless and emotionless, just eating my food as she just ranted her toxic and abusive ass at me. Throughout the entire time while I was eating, she was trying to gaslight me and guilt-trip me. All I can remember her saying was how she knew one day I will leave her behind. That when I was born, she can already tell by the look of me that that I would end up leaving her behind and become a disgrace. That I would turn out to be horrible. I knew she was trying to make me feel guilty, but having a fear of turning out to be rude and violent already, that still didn't help me become more anxious and afraid of myself as just that small part of me feel like that would happen. That was when I tried to plan running away from home. At least live with Casey. But after a week of thinking about it, I realized how completely difficult and different my life would be if I did run away from home, and it's not that easy doing that like I see in movies, video games and whatnot, plus I can't just leave my two brothers behind, so I dropped the plans. Obviously, I deal with her every single day, so I shouldn't be bothered listing everything else that she did to me, but that was the absolute worse one I got from her in 2017.

2017 was definitely the year I've honestly dealt with a lot of intrusive and suicidal thoughts and had used self-deprecation humor so many times, more than I had in any other years, as I can only assume my depression was getting worse as months went by. Also my emotions? They are in no doubt messy and exhausting to deal with this year as people would see me happy then five minutes later I'm sad and is ready to embrace death then five minute later, here I am being happy again. I like to think that when I'm dealing with some dumb sad shit and/or dealing with something bad that happened to me it's easy for me to get out of them as long as I have something to distract me and keep me calm? I don't know, but I guess it's good knowing that I don't often get stuck into the mud for weeks at least. But yeah. Bless this mess.

Despite all of that, during the last August was when I got into Brooklyn Nine Nine and Sugar Pine 7, as September was when I got into Buzzfeed Unsolved. They were the very few best things that I had done in that year as I don't regret getting into them at all. They bring me so much joy and inspiration. Also the people in the community of Buzzfeed Unsolved who does graphic/video edits and artworks are the ones who actually pushed me into doing graphic edits as a hobby with a massive amount of inspiration. I made so many friends in that community and they all make me feel so loved and respected everyday as it's always a joy to see them on my dashboard. To know how it feels to be so alive and most importantly happy at the end of the year from September to December is a fucking blessing, and just, to the friends I made from few months ago through Buzzfeed Unsolved along with Casey, Cy, and Ella, thank you all so so much. 2017 could've been better to me, yes, but you guys making my 2017 at least a bit more brighter and kind to me in the end is what makes it all up for it, and I can't ever be grateful enough for it.

Thank you.

T A K E   C A R E  -  Chapter 4 - Westminster

"So how are you really handling everything?" the Swedish girl then inquired, lowering her volume a bit to make sure the two Brits weren't able to eavesdrop, "I know the first week is tough and it's all a bit overwhelming. You have to know, it will get better. I'm really getting used to being here now and I absolutely love it here." "Really?" "Really. And I'm sure you will, too," Tilda assured.

Story page (Catch up!) | Author | Talk to me | Read on Tumblr only.

It was nearly half past ten when Catherine and Emilie were skipping along the Hampstead Village pavement, only a few shops away from the coffee place Catherine was supposed to meet her colleague at around ten. Denise wasn't feeling like going to her gymnastics class earlier and was being fussy until the class started and she was being paired up with one of her friends. Catherine insisted on staying until a few minutes after the class commenced, though, to make sure Denise was okay. They were now running late because of it, but Emilie had a feeling Catherine wasn't as punctual as she was herself regarding turning up on time. "Oh, there they are!" Catherine held the door open for Emilie to enter right the coffee shop behind her, "Morning!" She walked up to the women sitting at a table near the window, giving the older lady a quick airy peck on the cheek. "This is Emilie," she introduced, "Emilie, this is my colleague Patricia. And you must be-" "Tilda, nice to meet you," the girl shook Catherine's hand, before walking around the table to approach Emilie. The first time the two of them properly locked eyes, Emilie knew she found a friend. Tilda was radiating positivity and friendliness when she walked up to her, wearing her long brown hair in two braids at both sides of her head, her eyes the bluest of blues, bluer than Emilie's could ever seem. Tilda reminded Emilie so much of her friends back home. There was just something about Nordic girls that was so familiar to her. Maybe it was just the way they dressed or talked. Either way, she could've picked out Tilda from a line of twenty girls after one quick look. She knew she had to be Scandinavian. For the first time in what felt like forever, Emilie heard her mother language without it coming from the speaker of her phone. Tilda attempted a few lines and she wasn't bad. Emilie laughed and responded in her best Swedish and with that, the girls had already seemed to have bonded. Their knowledge of each other's native languages was quite limited, so the conversation soon proceeded in English. "Welcome to London!" Tilda beamed. "How was your first week?" "Good!" Emilie responded, hoping it sounded convincing, "It's going well." "It is," Catherine chimed in, "Our girls already love her." Emilie must've done a bad job at hiding her puzzlement, because Catherine started to justify her statement. "Charlotte, our youngest," she told Tilda, "is still a bit shy, but Denise already adores her." Soon enough, after Catherine and Emilie ordered their coffees, the two colleagues started getting involved talking about work and whatnot, leaving their two au pairs to discuss other things on their own. "So Hampstead is nice, isn't it?" Tilda asked. "I've only been here once before, to visit the Heath and Kenwood House, but it seems lovely." "Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is." "So how are you really handling everything?" the Swedish girl then inquired, lowering her volume a bit to make sure the two Brits weren't able to eavesdrop, "I know the first week is tough and it's all a bit overwhelming. You have to know, it will get better. I'm really getting used to being here now and I absolutely love it here." "Really?" "Really. And I'm sure you will, too," Tilda assured. Emilie smiled. She was glad to have met someone who seemed to completely understand how she was feeling, even when she hadn't explicitly mentioned it. It was like Tilda knew her well enough that she could see it in her eyes, even though they only just met.   After an hour or so, Patricia had to leave and so did Catherine. "You were planning on going downtown, weren't you, Emilie?" she asked while paying the check for all four of them. Perks of being a London business woman. "Do you happen to have any plans, Tilda? It would be fun to go together." Shameless. Emilie didn't know whether or not to be happy that Catherine was acting so blunt all of a sudden. It seemed a bit out of character, as well, for Catherine to be so direct. And it came at the worst time. Emilie didn't want to scare Tilda off, or make her feel uncomfortable. Luckily, that didn't appear to be the case. "Yes, of course! That would be fun," Tilda agreed with a smile. ~~ After saying goodbye to Catherine and Patricia, Emilie walked to the tube station with Tilda. It was a strange feeling to finally get on that tube and go down to the city. Emilie was excited. "Where did you wanna go?" Tilda asked when they entered the lift that would probably take them down to a lower level where the tube would depart, Emilie figured. She was just following Tilda, not knowing where to go. "Oh, I- I don't know, really. Just down to see some sights." "I know where to take you first. You probably don't even feel like you're in London yet, do you?" Tilda smiled. "We're going down to Westminster," she insisted. Hampstead tube station was quite busy on a Saturday morning, but it was nothing compared to the stations closer to the city centre they were passing. At every stop, there were more and more people hopping on the train, turning the carriage into a crowded and noisy space. Following the Northern Line, they went past familiar sounding stations such as Camden Town, Leicester Square, and Charing Cross, until they arrived at Waterloo Station about half an hour later. Emilie followed Tilda's lead as they quickly switched trains, jumping on the Jubilee Line, to then exit the train after just one stop. They'd reached their destination: Westminster Station. After ascending the stairs to get to near street level, and ultimately going through the little gates at the end of the station, scanning her Oyster card, and then ascending another flight of stairs, Emilie was immediately met with a great construction she perhaps wasn't expecting to suddenly see right in front of her: Big Ben. She was just part of a crowd of spectators now, gazing at the building at the other side of the street. It was quite impressive to unexpectedly have it laid out in front of her like that. "Cool, huh?" Tilda smiled at her. "Welcome to London! This is why I wanted to come here first, to Westminster tube station. That's why we had to change trains." They couldn't have gone to a better place to get the classic, touristy London feeling right away. There were tourists everywhere, foreign languages everywhere, and famous sights wherever your eyes went. From walking around the Houses of Parliament, getting a proper view of Ben from different sides and angles, Emilie and Tilda went back to cross Westminster Bridge to get a closer look of the London Eye. They crossed the Thames to return to the other side of the River using the Golden Jubilee Bridge before walking around Whitehall Gardens, to end up on Victoria Embankment. Emilie instantly recognised the street from the scenes on New Year's Eve, broadcast by the BBC, displaying thousands upon thousands of people stood on this very road watching the fireworks at midnight. They then walked past Westminster tube station again and took a right to walk towards Trafalgar Square, another must-see. During their walk and in between taking some pictures and admiring the sights such as Downing Street, Emilie got on really well with Tilda, making conversation. "So how long are you planning on staying here?" "I leave on the twenty-third of December, so right before Christmas," Emilie told her, still fully aware of the fact that it seemed like such a long time from now. "Oh, like, a set date?" "Yep," she answered, "The flight's already booked. Went for a return flight." "I see." "What about you, when are you leaving?" "Not sure yet, to be honest. I'm going home for Christmas, as well, but I think I'll get back here for a few more months right after New Year's." Emilie admired Tilda's flexibility and open-ended outlook on her time in London. She had to admit she wasn't as easygoing herself. Back home, she figured it was better to book a return flight so she would at least have some clarity regarding her stay. An incentive, or an insurance, if you will. Something that would be there to help her be able to count down her days, but also something that would be there to stop her from even thinking about going home before she was meant to. "Maybe stay here until, like, the end of February," Tilda continued, "I will have been away from home for six months then. That was kind of the limit my boyfriend set me." She laughed. "Oh, you've got a boyfriend?" "Yeah, I've been with him for seven years already, since high school," she said, "We were, like, seventeen." "Wow," Emilie blinked. "Yeah. We were planning on moving in together after I graduated university but then I decided I wanted to come here." She raised her brows, displaying a small smile. "He doesn't mind, though," Tilda went on, as if she could read Emilie's mind. "He wants me to be able to do what I want. He's twenty-five, I'm twenty-four, we're still young. We've hopefully got plenty of time for everything." "Yeah, totally," Emilie agreed, "That's great, that he's so easygoing about it all." "As long as I'm not gone for, like, a full year," Tilda laughed again. Emilie smiled. "Do you miss him?" "Not really," Tilda shamelessly admitted, "The first few weeks I did, but now I'm just happy to be here. I feel like I've kind of settled here and I'm just glad I took the opportunity." Emilie couldn't help but feel jealous of Tilda already being at that stage. Despite the fact she was proud of herself for taking the step and doing what she wanted to do, she still felt very overwhelmed and more often than not wondered what the fuck she was doing here. She knew that it was probably because she was still getting used to everything and all the changes in her life. She'd only been in London for a week. It would probably take some more weeks for Emilie to feel settled.   "What about you?" Emilie thought about her family and friends and her situation and how she didn't have anyone in her life that would in some way, shape or form be a reason to stop her from going anywhere because she wanted to stay with them. In a weird way, it made her feel better about being abroad. "I'm single," she told Tilda. "The only serious relationship I've been in was during the second and third year of my bachelor's programme. We met at uni. But then he went off to do his master's at another university and he, uhm..." Emilie thought about how to put it into words. "He didn't really want to put in a lot of effort to make sure we'd be alright. So we broke up." "Ah, that's shitty." Tilda scrunched her nose. "No other boys since?" "Nope." Emilie shook her head. "Nothing." "Well, who knows, you might meet a nice Brit while you're here!" Emilie coughed. "I don't know, I'm not really looking for anything, if I'm honest." "You can't do much about it when it happens, can you?" Tilda asked. "Oh, wait, we have to go this way, we'll walk over to Leicester Square and I'll show you Chinatown." Emilie followed Tilda, who already knew her way around the busy city centre of London. Again, she was a tiny bit jealous of her. ~~ OKTOBER 2017 Things were getting easier every day. A messy nappy, which Emilie secretly had been dreading on day one, wasn't any problem anymore. Neither was getting Charlotte milk before bed or coming up with something to cook for the girls in the evening, although finding an empty fridge once every while due to the Ainsley's lack of proper scheduling was anything but helpful. Having to make the girls dinner every night in the first place hadn't been something that was made very clear in the contract before Emilie arrived. Emilie knew she was meant to make the girls 'tea' every evening before bath, but she was assured over Skype it wouldn't be a lot of work and would barely involve any cooking. When it turned out that it didn't include just a snack or some fruit, perhaps a microwavable leftover from the night before like was suggested, but a proper full course dinner, it hadn't been a pleasant surprise to say the least. Despite little drawbacks like dinner, things were going alright. The school runs were going well and Emilie was finally used to seeing girls running around in their blue uniform everywhere. Of course Denise attended an expensive private all girls' school, which had also been one of the many things Emilie had to get used to in the beginning. Meanwhile, some of the strangers of Hampstead were turning into familiar faces. The lollypop lady on the way to school now knew exactly who Emilie was, as well as some nannies Emilie would chat with before the gate to the schoolyard would be opened at around three in the afternoon. Denise's teacher who would then queue up her pupils before letting them go also knew which face to look for when dismissing Denise. All in all, there were already quite a few people that would greet Emilie good morning every day or would ask her how things were going and if she was enjoying London, which was nice. Just three short weeks in, it seemed like Emilie had been around forever. She had established her own daily schedule and the girls seemed to be accustoming well to it. Wake up at seven. Be in the main house by a quarter to eight. Have breakfast before that in her own room or have some until eight with the kids. Get the girls ready to leave at eight. Arrive at school a little before eight-thirty. Drop Denise off. Walk back to the house with Charlotte. Play at the house. Sometimes a morning play group. Sometimes a random walk around the Village. Sometimes a random visit to the shops. Return by around noon. Prepare lunch for Charlotte and feed her. Get Charlotte in bed at round twelve-thirty. Wake her up again at around two. Leave to pick Denise up from school at two-thirty. Pick Denise up from school at three. Entertaining the girls. Tea at around five-thirty. Bath time at around six. Have them ready in their pyjamas by six-thirty, when either Catherine or David could be expected to come home when they were early. Having a proper schedule didn't mean that getting through the day wasn't still difficult at times. A lot of the time, Emilie felt like she was kind of left on her own, despite the friendly faces in and around the Village. It was amazing to have met Tilda, who was in a similar family situation, taking care of two little girls who were around Denise's and Charlotte's age, but it wasn't like Emilie was able to meet up with her every other day. They texted quite a lot during the week and after meeting on Emilie's first Saturday off, they also met up the following weekend. At the house, things were going less smoothly. To still struggle with connecting with Catherine and David was anything but helpful. It just made things so much more complicated. So far, Emilie's relationship with them hadn't improved at all and Emilie wondered when things would stop being awkward and would start becoming more genuine and social. After all, she was freaking living with them. That is why one evening, when the girls were up in bed and David wasn't home, Emilie told Catherine she would very much appreciate some more general clarity. She felt like an idiot for already bringing something up after only a few weeks, but she felt it was necessary. It there was one thing Emilie felt like she was missing out on, it was clear expectations and feedback to come along with it. She thought it was weird that she was the one to have to tell Catherine or David about her day, essentially the girls' days, and that she was never asked about anything when either of them came home from work. She thought it was weird that neither of them seemed to care that much. And even though before Emilie arrived in London, it was specified in the contract and talked about that babysitting hours in the evening would always be scheduled well in advance, so far it had been announced just minutes beforehand, leaving Emilie with no time to adjust to the change of plans. Luckily, since her talk with Catherine, things were starting to look up a bit. Catherine would now immediately text Emilie if she was running late or if she'd forgotten to tell her something. That didn't mean that Emilie was already used to getting unexpected phone calls or text messages. Or when there was suddenly some stranger ringing the doorbell, for that matter, telling her that there was an appointment scheduled to check the electricity meter. Emilie often didn't know what to do, which caused quite a bit of anxiety and also lack of confidence. She wanted to be the best nanny she could be, but often found that she couldn't because she wasn't able to properly prepare herself for certain scenarios that she could've easily been told about. Letting the stranger in the house to check the meter, Emilie therefore didn't lose him out of sight for one moment, not even being sure if she could trust the man. For all she knew, there wouldn't even have been an appointment and she was currently dealing with some crook checking out the house for when he would return with his burgling buddies. So far, though, everything had been going relatively fine. The only thing that had genuinely worried Emilie was when little Charlotte had fallen and hurt her hand. Emilie only noticed that she was in serious pain when bathing her and noticing she avoided using her left hand. Telling David about Charlotte's possible injury right after he came home from work, he visibly started stressing out. When Catherine came home shortly after, it was pretty much sheer panic. She took Charlie to the doctor's immediately, which, Emilie learned, wasn't as easy of a process as it was back home in Denmark. Here in London, it could potentially involve hours of waiting before even seeing a doctor. Emilie was left at the house with David, who prepared dinner. To say it was awkward would be an understatement. So far, Emilie hadn't warmed up to David at all, simply because he would rarely be around the house and if he would be home, he'd rarely talk. Because Emilie felt bad about Charlotte's injury, she stayed at the house after dinner in case Catherine would call in with more information. But she didn't and while David was in the lounge area watching television, Emilie was sat at the dining table, feeling uncomfortable. Luckily, the morning after, it appeared that everything was alright and Charlotte felt fine. There were no signs of fractures and Charlotte used her left hand again. That didn't mean that the family had had an easy night. It turned out Catherine and Charlotte returned from hospital at two o'clock in the morning, which made Emilie feel extremely guilty, even though she knew she couldn't have prevented Charlie getting hurt. After a stressful Thursday night and Friday morning, Emilie was glad she made it through the day alright when Catherine returned home in the evening. The weekends were always a time where Emilie could fully unwind and enjoy the city she inhabited. From Friday night until Monday morning, she basically didn't have anything to do with the Ainsley's, and to be honest - it was wonderful. Two weeks into October, it was her third weekend off already and Emilie was enjoying every minute of it. On Saturday, she met up with Tilda again and the two of them had explored some gorgeous parts of London, ending up in Kensington and visiting the Natural History Museum. Today, on Sunday, Emilie had some quality alone time strolling around the city. She'd gone to check out Hyde Park, Marble Arch and Oxford Street. It was nice to be able to get to know the different parts of the city a bit better. Emilie tried to do some shopping, but it was incredibly busy in the shops. Maybe that was why she was already back in Hampstead at around five in the afternoon. Walking up the driveway to the house, Emilie immediately noticed an unfamiliar car parked. When she walked up to her bright blue front door, she couldn't ignore the bigger black front door, quite a few meters over to the right side of the house, suddenly flinging open. "Emilie!" Denise shouted from the doorway. "Hi Denise," Emilie stopped in her tracks and looked around. She hadn't seen her since Friday evening. "How are you?" She suddenly heard Catherine's voice from the hallway, telling Denise off for shouting. "It's Emilie," she heard Denise object, before Catherine herself made an appearance in the door opening. "Oh, hi, Emilie," she greeted, "How was your day?" "Good," Emilie answered, walking up to the black front door because it made talking easier, "I went to do some shopping down at Oxford Street." "My aunties are here!" Denise suddenly chanted, grabbing Emilie's arm now that she was standing right outside the doorway. "Denny!" Catherine scolded. "My sister and her wife are here," she then further explained, "My brother and his girlfriend are also coming down later, we're having a Sunday roast dinner, the chicken is in the oven. You're more than welcome to join us." "Yes! Come eat with us in the house, Emilie!" Denise encouraged. Emilie considered the kind offer. She hadn't met any of David's or Catherine's family yet and as far as she could tell, family visits didn't happen that frequently, either. She figured now would be a good time to meet some of the family members as she didn't know if or when she would see them again. Besides, having dinner with the family would mean she wouldn't have to cook dinner herself, which was definitely a plus. "Are you sure it's okay?" she inquired with Catherine, not wanting to be a burden. "Of course, of course, the family's been asking about you, they'd love to meet you." Just minutes after Emilie entered the house and met the family, she noticed the stressful energy in the kitchen, where Catherine seemed to have lost an important ingredient. "Dave, where's the lettuce?" "In the fridge, I think, isn't it?" "It's not in the fridge," Catherine replied somewhat irritated. "Did we run out of it?' "You did the shopping, didn't you?" "I did but I think it's going to be delivered tomorrow." "Dave! I needed the lettuce for this recipe," she started whining. "Oh, c'mon, it will be fine," Catherine's sister offered from the dining table. "Don't worry about it." Emilie noticed Catherine wasn't pleased, though. "I can run down to the shop if you want me to?" she therefore suggested. Emilie already had Tesco's in mind, the only grocery retailer within walking distance. She knew the family never went down there, though, always choosing posh Waitrose instead. "That's very kind, Emilie, but I wouldn't want you to-" "Catherine, it's fine. It's a five minute walk." "Can I come?!" Suddenly Denise popped up, seemingly having overheard the conversation. Her eyes were big as she awaited the answer to her question. "Denny, what day is it?" her Mum asked instead. "Sunday." "That's right. And Emilie doesn't work on Sundays, remember?" Denise pouted before opening her mouth. With her eyebrows frowned, she closed it again once she realised she hadn't come up with a strong comeback. Emilie could notice how she was five seconds away from starting to throw a tantrum about it, though. "I can take her, I don't mind," she therefore suggested, only for Catherine's ears to hear. She figured it would only be easier this way and after a rather difficult few days earlier in the week, with Charlotte's hand injury scare and all, Emilie thought she could perhaps use a little goodwill, especially if she was going to have dinner with the family now. Maybe offering to go to the shop would also show Catherine that she was flexible after all and could adjust well to the family's unorganised lifestyle.   Catherine agreed and told Denise she could go to the shop with Emilie. From the corner of her eye, as Denise was eagerly putting on her shoes and grabbing her coat in the hallway, Emilie already saw little Charlotte getting excited, as well. She must've thought they were all going somewhere and she wasn't planning on missing out. As Emilie and Denise were ready to go, it appeared to become clear to her that she actually wasn't coming along. Charlotte suddenly looked very confused, before ultimately crying big tears. "They'll be back in a minute, honey," Catherine soothed, "Come here, Charlie! Do you want a piece of ham?" "I can take her, as well?" Emilie offered, not minding a fifteen minute trip down to Tesco's. She felt worse about leaving a crying Charlotte behind. She knew Catherine was trying to be strict, which was a good thing, but in this case, it was probably just easier to bring both girls instead of leaving one at home crying. Maybe Emilie felt bad because she knew Charlotte liked going to Tesco's, as she brought her a couple of times already. Charlotte had always behaved perfectly in the shop. "It's Sunday," Catherine simply stated while trying to calm Charlotte down, picking her up and cuddling her. Emilie shrugged. "You know she'll stop crying the second I put her in the buggy." "Alright." With a sigh and a smile, Catherine gave in and put Charlie back on the floor, telling her she could come along and needed to find her shoes. "We won't make this a habit." Something told Emilie she was actually more than happy to have the house (and the kitchen) to herself without the kids being there, even if it was only for a little while. "We'll make it up to you, consider this babysitting." "Oh, c'mon. We're just gonna get some lettuce, aren't we, Denny?" Denise happily nodded and Charlotte was running around carrying her shoes. She sat down on the bottom step of the stairs like she usually did, trying to get her little white and pink trainers on. She succeeded in attaching the rip tape correctly, but Emilie immediately noticed she put the wrong shoe on the wrong foot. Emilie crouched down to help her remove and change them, Charlotte's little legs were kicking in excitement.   "Oh, Emilie. While you're out there and bringing the buggy..." Catherine went to the kitchen while talking but quickly returned. "Could you perhaps grab some more things? I made a little list the other day; we could use some milk and granola. And some fruit, for the girls. Especially if the shopping David did isn't going to be delivered until tomorrow evening." "Of course." "Here you go." Catherine offered a shopping list that included a couple of more items, and a fifty Pound note. "You can keep the change, that's how thankful I am for you taking care of our shopping." ~~ Shopping went without any major complications that wouldn't be unusual when bringing two kids under the age of five. Bringing Charlotte wasn't any issue; she stayed in the buggy and quietly observed the area. The worse she could potentially do was to grab something from a shelf while Emilie wasn't paying attention. Denise, on the other hand, demanded a little more effort. After arriving at the local Tesco's, situated right in the town's centre, Emilie therefore turned the shopping into a fun little game for Denise, letting her read the shopping list and find the products listed. Luckily, Charlotte wasn't planning on getting involved too much and was alright with staying in the buggy and having a look around the shop as Denise ran from aisle to aisle with a shopping basket. Emilie just hoped she wouldn't fall headfirst in the process. After a while, the basket Emilie had been carrying was getting quite heavy and there was only one item left on the list. Denise had been running around, being loud and noisy, and having a lot of fun. Luckily, the shop had been close to empty, barely any other costumers around that could be bothered by it. "Alright, Denny, we need one more thing, and it's gonna be really heavy!" "What is it!?" "What does this say?" Emilie crouched down to the four-year-old's level and showed her the shopping list. "Milk!" Denise read. "I know where to find it!" Denise ran off again and Emilie followed her to the dairy aisle, finding it more and more difficult to control the heavy buggy with just one hand while also carrying the weighty shopping basket. "Alright, well done. Now look for the correct colour. Which colour do we always have?" Denise hesitated for a minute. "It's not the red one, is it?" Emilie helped her. "Is it the blue one?" "Yes?" "Really? I don't think so." "It is the green?" "Yes, we always have the green top, go grab one! Can you carry it?" Denise walked up to the dairy cooler shelves and lifted a pint of milk with both hands. Emilie took it from her and put it in the shopping basket. Without Denise noticing, she then grabbed another one she thought the household could use. All of them would have cereal and milk in the mornings and they quickly ran out. "Alright! That's it, we've got all the things from the shopping list." "Now we're gonna pay!" Denise chimed in. A dark and handsome cashier welcomed them at the counter a little later. He had a buzz cut hairstyle and he looked muscular and in good physical shape. His eyes were friendly. He looked like he could be one of those really easygoing, chatty people, not having any trouble with making small talk with whoever crossed his path. A perfect trait to possess when working in retail. It turned out Emilie wasn't wrong regarding her personality evaluation of the stranger. "Have you girls been helping?" the cashier happily asked, turning to Denise while scanning the items. "Yes," answered Denise proudly. "I noticed that, very well done," the guy beamed, his broad smile exposing perfectly white dentals. Emilie hoped that the guy noticing didn't mean that she had been allowing the girls to take it too far, ending up annoying the few customers and staff members that were present with their laughter and yelling, and Denise's running around. The guy continued to scan all the items before Emilie stored them in the bags she brought. She handed Denise a small one and let her carry the bunch of bananas she was in the process of paying for. "Look at the little one," the cashier then pointed out Charlotte, who was momentarily sporting a proud look on her face, her little hands tightly wrapped around the plastic wrapping of one of the bags of lettuce Emilie just gave her. "She likes to go grocery shopping," Emilie smiled. "Don't you, Charlie?" "That's adorable. Here's your receipt, Miss. And have a great Sunday evening," the guy offered. "You too." Emilie smiled. "Say 'Thank you', girls!" Denise did what she was told and Charlotte didn't bother changing the now somewhat emotionless look on her face, which was quite a funny sight. Emilie packed the bags of products into the designed storage space of Charlotte's buggy and put the receipt and change in her wallet. She'd only spent about twenty Pounds and she was feeling quite happy about that. Not in a greedy way, but having an extra thirty quid by the end of the week was definitely a plus. Living in London was expensive. "Alright, let's go home, girls," Emilie directed, already pushing the buggy towards the exit of the shop, waiting on Denise to follow her and stop lingering around the display sweets near the cash register. Eventually, she resisted the temptation to ask Emilie for one and followed her to the exit. "Hello Sir, good to see you, it's been a while! How're you doing?" Emilie heard the guy behind the counter chant right before she pushed the buggy outside. "Back in town?" Though she was curious to see who he'd been talking to, especially because she hadn't really seen anyone in the shop near the checkout, she was too busy looking after the girls, and making sure the bags filled with the groceries she just bought didn't fall out of the buggy, to turn around to have a quick peek. | < Previous chapter | Next chapter > | Story page | Author | Talk to me |

Help a Fella Out (Knockout/Breakdown)

This is a commissioned fic, commissioned by the lovely @massacremichell! She wanted a fluffy fic of Knockout getting his back buffed/rubbed by Breakdown.

Final word count: 2230 Warnings: None Fandom: Transformers: Prime Pairing: Knockout/Breakdown

Read it on Google Docs

Commission Info

Knockout had been trying to reach the middle of his back for the past twenty minutes. He had FINALLY gotten enough of his work done to really buff and shine himself- the first time in a good few months, too- and he’s being hindered by his stupid nubby arms. He’s ready to detach one and use it as a back-scratcher. But, that’d require ruining his finish, and it’d hurt like a bitch, so, he has to find a new plan.

Maybe he can duct-tape the buffer to a wall, and go at it like Earth bears and trees. He briefly considered asking one of the Vehicons for help, before realizing that they can’t even walk right half the time. If anyone was going to fuck up his finish, it’d be those thoughtless zombies. He swears, would it KILL Megatron to take on more competent people? At least then Knockout would stop mixing everyone up.

While he was pondering a solution to this dilemma, Knockout almost didn’t hear the door to his “office” open. He glanced over with a slight glare, half expecting a Vehicon, or worse, Starscream to be barging in here- but, thankfully, it was just his assistant, Breakdown. The glare lessened, to a certain degree, as he turned to face the tank of a bot.

“What part of ‘Do not disturb’ do bots not get?” He asked, turning back to his table of tools, while Breakdown went over to his own station. “I put that sign up for good reason- and it isn’t so you can keep barging in here whenever you feel like it.”

“Yeah yeah,” Breakdown said, dismissively. “I work here too, you know- your signs don’t apply to me. Besides, Megatron wanted me to run some tests, and Starscream’s too busy hogging the main computer.”

“When isn’t he?” Knockout asked sarcastically, trying to find a long stick of some kind. Maybe he can make his own back-rubber.

A quiet snort from his conjunx endura was all he got in reply, before the quiet click click click of servos tapping at the keyboard filled the quiet. Knockout paid barely any attention to him afterwards, too wrapped up in his little problem. He’d be willing to just let it go, but then there’d be one matte spot in the MIDDLE of his back, and honestly, he’d rather die than deal with that.

And then, a thought occurred to him. Breakdown was a trusted individual...most of the time. Surely he can handle this simple task, right? Sure, he’s built for breaking things, and the more...delicate tasks usually go to Knockout for a reason. But, he trusts Breakdown. Besides, he knows he can always tear Breakdown apart if he smudges anything.

“Say,” Knockout started, stroking his chin a little. “Since you’re not doing anything important-”

“These are direct orders from Megatron, Knockout. He considers everything important, and I’d rather keep my head on my shoulders.”

���Oh, forget it. He can wait just a few minutes, can’t he? Besides, this is much more dire.” Knockout said, sauntering over to Breakdown, who was trying his best to ignore the smaller bot. “Don’t you want to help your partner, Breakdown?”

“Not particularly.”

“Wrong answer. Anyways, I need you to buff my back.” Knockout said, gesturing with his thumb to the buffer on the table.

“Knockout, please, there’s sparklings present-”

A very firm glare silenced Breakdown, until he erupted into laughter, which just made Knockout even more annoyed.

“If you’re done shoving your head in the gutter,” Knockout huffed, crossing his arms, “I’d appreciate this being done today. I have to deal with Starscream later, and I don’t want to be in a worse mood than I am already.”

“I wasn’t aware you had a good mood.” Breakdown joked, idling the computer, and going to the buffer. “But, fine, if you insist. Not like I enjoyed typing logs into the database, anyways.”

“Just be sure you don’t scratch anything, while you’re back there,” Knockout said, right as Breakdown got to work with the buffer. “It’s hard to replace paint on your back, and we all know only I can actually apply paint.”

Neanderthals.

“Yeah yeah, just be quiet and be still. I may accidentally scratch your entire backside if you keep moving.” Breakdown said, already preparing for the yelling and cursing. It was always so easy to rile Knockout up, it was almost like a game.

“You wouldn’t DARE-”

“Oh relax! It’s a joke- I wouldn’t do that to you.” Breakdown promised, kissing the side of Knockout’s head. “Besides, Megatron would kill me too if I made our only doctor angry.”

“And you keep that in mind, next time you decide it’s time to practice your sparring.” Knockout huffed, crossing his arms. He swears, Breakdown doesn’t know the difference between a friendly punch, and a full on swing. He’s sent more than a couple ‘cons to the Medbay from his ‘friendly sparring’.

The two fell into silence afterwards, the only sound being a dull, almost hypnotizing buzz from the buffer. Knockout almost fell for it- after all, Breakdown, while normally a wrecker, was rubbing in just the right spots- not being too rough, but not being too gentle. Knockout wondered if this was why humans enjoyed back rubs so much. Maybe they’re just weird little insects. The world may never know.

It wasn’t until Breakdown started talking- asking him if he was plotting his death already- that Knockout realized how in a trance he was. It honestly startled him- and Breakdown, due to Knockout’s jump.

“Easy slick- no need to get so in a tizzy, it’s just me.” Breakdown said, putting the buffer down, and putting a hand on Knockout’s shoulder.

“I know- you just. Startled me is all, alright?”

It took a moment, but Breakdown broke out into a grin. “Oh? So you were enjoying yourself, hm? And you thought I’d chip your chassis.”

“I still have authority to kick you out, you know.” Knockout huffed, crossing his arms. As much as he hates to admit it, Breakdown can be quite the charmer- even if he’s a dunce half the time. But he just gets so smug whenever he knows he caught Knockout with his pants down- so to speak.

“Relax, relax,” Breakdown said, patting Knockout’s shoulders. “You don’t have to yell at me- Primus knows how we all hate it when you yell. Why don’t we just go back to what we were doing, hm?”

All he got in response was a huff, an eye squint, and a quiet, but angry ‘fine’. At that, he picked the buffer up again, switching it on.

….Only to be met with the sound of nothing happening.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Knockout groaned. Of COURSE it’d run out of batteries- why wouldn’t it? He was halfway done with the buffing, and now he has to deal with this. They don’t even MAKE batteries for this buffer anymore- they’re all on Cybertron. “I might as well crawl into a hole and die.” He said, dragging his hands down his face.

Breakdown, however, was thinking sensibly- as is often the case. He was already searching for the wax rag Knockout keeps in case of emergencies. “Oh, don’t be so melodramatic. Don’t you have a rag for this exact scenario?” He asked, rolling his optics.

“I did- but then Soundwave decided it was a liability, with it lying around and whatnot. He made me get rid of it- and NOW look at what happened! I’m telling you, Breakdown- this is fate telling me my time has come.” He declared, draping himself across the examining berth.

Luckily, he had a backup. After all, what good doctor doesn’t have backups for everything? After Breakdown gave him a long, unimpressed look, Knockout straightened up, rolling his optics. “Check the bottom drawer. There’s a stack in there.”

With a slight snort, Breakdown managed to locate the missing rags- and the wax. Guess it wasn’t such a dire emergency after all- despite what Knockout wanted him to think.

“Just hurry up and get this over with. I don’t want someone walking in on me, dare I say, undressed.” Knockout said, turning around for Breakdown again. “Think of the rumors! The shame of it all. Why, I’d go into spark-arrest!”

“Will you just shut up for once!” Breakdown laughed, having to make sure he didn’t scuff anything on Knockout. He loves how dramatic his partner is- honestly! He thinks it’s cute, and it adds some spice to the otherwise boring and drab life on the Nemesis. Knockout was a breath of fresh air, in Breakdown’s eyes, and he didn’t hesitate to let his conjunx endura know that.

“Fine,” Knockout huffed, already melting into Breakdown’s rubbing. “But if you mess up one thing, Primus as my witness, I’ll-” Oh. Oh that’s a nice spot. As soon as Breakdown started kneading into a spot on Knockout’s back, he practically melted. He forgot how strong and firm Breakdown’s hands were, and Primus knows he missed this. He almost didn’t catch onto Breakdown’s little laugh- which, honestly, he doesn’t care about right now.

“What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?” Breakdown teased, narrowly avoiding Knockout’s elbow trying to collide with his side. “Oh relax- I’m just yanking your chain, Doc!” He laughed, before giving a quick kiss to Knockout’s cheek. “Just relax- I’m almost done, anyways.”

Well, that was a tad disappointing. Knockout was already enjoying himself- why did it have to end so soon? Sure, Knockout liked to gripe and complain about everything, but the one time he finally enjoys something, and poof! It’s gone. He debated telling Breakdown to ‘make sure’ everything was actually buffed back there, but, that’d require him telling Breakdown he enjoyed this. And Primus KNOWS how insufferable Breakdown can get when he knows Knockout enjoys something- especially with said something is caused by Breakdown.

“You know,” Knockout started, leaning against the wall. “You don’t have anything better to do, right? And I’m not even sure I got my entire back, and-”

“Oh hush,” Breakdown said, applying more wax to the rag. “You don’t have to hide it. Besides, whoever did this last time did a really shitty-”

“You know. I don’t want you in here anymore.” Knockout said, turning to push Breakdown out. “I don’t need any hateful comments on my BEAUTIFUL work.”

Breakdown laughed- holding up his hands. “Alright, alright! I’ll keep it to myself, geez! No need to get so red in the face, Doc,” He said, leaning down, so that he and Knockout were face to face. “You’d just look like a giant tomato, otherwise.”

The indignant huff he got was all Breakdown got in response, making him snicker to himself. Of course, this only pissed Knockout off even more.

“I swear- it’s like I’m the only sane one in this ship!” Knockout exclaimed, snatching the rag out of his partner’s hand. “You all just love to rile me up, and frankly, I’m sick of it-”

Knowing his partner, Breakdown could tell this tirade would go on for an hour, at least. So, he leaned down again, and planted one of those big, gross kisses right on Knockout’s mouth. The split second it took Knockout to go from shocked, to annoyed, to angry, was long enough for Breakdown to get out of arm’s length away from Knockout- just in case.

“Well! If you’re just going to be a child about all of this, perhaps you’d better go.” Knockout insisted, turning away from Breakdown. Even if he enjoyed sharing kisses with him, he has standards, and if Breakdown’s mouth is wetter than the Earth’s oceans? Well,  he was just shit out of luck.

“Aw- Doc, honey, c’mon. It was just a kiss.”

“More like a tsunami.”

That got a snort out of Breakdown, causing him to cover his mouth at Knockout’s glare. “Okay, okay, fine- what about a do-over? I promise I won’t drown you, you sparkling.”

With another huff from Knockout, he took that as a yes, giving him another quick kiss. At least this one didn’t end up with a broken face plate.

“Now will you leave me alone, and get back to work.” Knockout suggested, more than asked. Of course, by ‘work’, he meant finish his backside, but the audio logs didn’t have to know.

“Fine, fine, just try to not blow a gasket this time.” Breakdown joked, narrowly avoiding Knockout’s tires as he turned around.

As soon as he started up again, Knockout forgot why he was annoyed at him in the first place. If only they could avoid any more distractions- he thinks he can just drift away, and stay like this. These quiet moments were nice, after all. Not a lot of time to spend alone- let alone spend it with a special bot.

Of course, like everything, all good things must come to an end. After a few more blissful minutes, Breakdown started putting everything back up. It almost made Knockout sad- after all, he was sure Breakdown worked out a few knots in his chassis in the process.

“Say,” Knockout started, rolling his shoulders a bit to get used to the feeling. “You’re not….doing anything later, right?”

It took Breakdown a moment, but when he realized Knockout meant he wanted some alone time, he broke into a grin. “Well, now I ain’t doing anything later.”

Knockout was extremely glad to hear that.