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#Please tell me I'm not the only one who wants to be a fashion designer after watching the movie as a kid🤣

hazemaru24 · 8 months

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🎵Life life is a🎵 life life is a🎵 fairytale🎵

Collaboration with @/huioncanada (insta) using kamvas 16 review; https://www.instagram.com/p/CwnG7ZcJ9u-/?img_index=3

#Please tell me I'm not the only one who wants to be a fashion designer after watching the movie as a kid🤣#barbie #barbie movie #barbie era #fashion #pastel art #barbie fashion fairytale #hi barbie #illustraion #my art #barbara millicent roberts #aesthetic

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0oolookitsme · 7 months

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Buckle up besties because I'm taking y'all on a wild ride! I'm hosting 'Kinktober', which means that kinky-smutty fics will be on your dash for the whole of October! We'll be celebrating for 7 days -- the fics will be spread out throughout the month. The titles and descriptions will be added along with the fics, and the schedule will be like this:

2 OCT, Mon: (DWD!Harry x DWD!Y/n) Guided Masturbation, Phone Sex

Been Thinking - Harry calls Y/n to tell her that he would be staying in the office for the night, but Y/n'd been thinking about him all day and just wanted him so bad. (WC - 1.6k)

...

7 OCT, Sat: (Artist!Harry x Housewife!Y/n) Praise kink, Face Sitting

Better than the Dream - In which Y/n woke up on rubbing against Harry's thigh in her sleep and when Harry offers to take care of her, she can't help but let her insecurities creep-up on her. But, Harry still ends up persuading her into enjoying her time while their toddler's gone. (WC - 1.7k)

...

9 OCT, Mon: (Model!Harry x Fashion Designer!Y/n) Mommy kink, Dry Humping, Mirror Sex, Over Stimulation

Another One? - Y/n told Harry that if he's good for her throughout their time at the small get-together, she would reward him at the end of the night. But, Harry ends up getting a bit overwhelmed, and then rebellious -- causing Y/n to, instead, punish him. (WC - 4k)

...

14 OCT, SAT: (Baker!Harry x Florist!Y/n) Thigh Riding, Teasing

The Thigh Tattoo - In which Y/n finally accepts that Harry's tiger tattoo is her favourite, and finally shows it some 'interest'. (WC - 2.1k)

...

16 OCT, Mon: (Footballer!Harry x Art Director!Y/n) Daddy Kink, Face Fucking, Breeding Kink, Praise Kink

Daddy of Three - Harry is such a good father that Y/n can't help but want another baby, and who is Harry to deny her what she wants? And, while he is going to be a daddy for two -- he can't help but point out that Y/n needs one at all times, as well. (WC - 2.2k)

...

21 OCT, Sat: (Singer!Harry x CEO!Y/n) Sir Kink, Degradation Kink, Choking, Begging, Spanking

So Despicable - In which once Y/n is home, she can't help but feel as if something is off with Harry. She only comes to know the cause once he's got her laid across his lap and is telling her just how despicable she is. (WC - 2.1k)

...

23 OCT, Mon: (Devil!Harry x Assassin!Y/n) Knife Play, Biting, Marking

Feel Special Now? - Y/n pulls Harry's leg by asking him why she can't mess with the devil. How else were she to feel special? Thereupon, Harry makes sure she knows just how many merits she has for being dear to him. (WC - 1.5k)

...

MASTERLIST

Please come into my inbox and tell me your thoughts, feelings, and favourite moments. Feel free to send in requests, and ask if you want to be added in the taglist for this! Thank you <3

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mochinek0 · 4 months

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Daminette December 2023: 10-Defeated

Damian sat at his desk and briefly scanned the files of the new departments he was overlooking. One of them was the art department, which he was greatful for. The only thing that bothered him was the fashion department. He didn't agree that it was art. It was business. Clothing was a necessity, not a luxury. Clothes could be sold in stores. Art was meant to be displayed and shared. The Wayne heir scanned the file again.

'Head of fashion department was listed as Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I'm sure I can get rid of her and move the department. Nothing will get in Damian Al Ghul-Wayne's way.'

The Wayne heir approached the fashion department. He saw the office door open and observed the inside. There was a small woman with blue hair drawing on a tablet. He could see a gown forming under the movement of her stylus. Damian stood tall as he knocked on the open office door, but she never turned around.

'Brat.'

"Miss Dupain-Cheng!" he shouted.

To his surprise, the designer slammed her hand down on her desk and glared at him.

"You made me mess up." she snarled, "Who the fuck so you think you are to come in here and bother me?"

This wasn't the type of meeting he had been expecting at all.

"Damian Wayne." he answered, not use to people glaring at him, "I wanted to inform you that I will personally be keeping an eye on the department and see if it's truly necessary."

"Fine." Marinette snapped, "There's the door. I'm busy; you can show yourself out."

Marinette turned back to her tablet and began ignoring him, again. Damian couldn't believe that she didn't get scared by his name. She talked back to him! Damian walked out and slammed the office door.

'What a horrible person. I'm not just gonna get rid of her; I'm gonna fire her entire department! I'll just exploit her weaknesses and show that she's incompitent at her job.'

Marinette had noticed that Damian taking to lurking around her department. He had inserted himself into meetings and questioned everything: Is what you're buying necessary? How could it help Wayne Enterprise? Why did you choose this fabric? Why this shade? Why not vermouth?

It had been six months and she was ready to punch him. Mari had heard rumors that he was starting to neglect other departments he was covering. She couldn't understand his fascination and distaste for hers. After another grueling meeting, everything came to a head.

"Miss Dupain-Cheng, I highly suggest rereading the code of conduct." Damian stated, in front of the entire department.

Marinette could feel everyone's eyes on her, "And what have I done now, Mr. Wayne? I don't believe 'bow down' is a rule."

"Your behavior and attire are innapropriate in the work place." Damian commented, irked that she still went against his authority.

"Excuse me?" Mari shouted, "I am completely professional!"

Damian snorted, "You regularly seduce your staff."

"I wish." someone whispered, loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Mr. Wayne," Marinette spoke, "please, tell me how my business attire is innapropriate so that I may correct it."

Marinette knew she had him this time. She still made all her own clothing and inspected them the day before for any rip or loose seams. She wore button up blouses with short sleeves and a blazer. She made sure to wear pants as she didn't want to kneel in a skirt. Was this about her heels? Sure she didn't wear four inches like everyone else; she preferred something that was easy to move in. Especially if something had gone wrong and she needed to hurry to the other sde of Wayne Enterprise.

Damian's eyes roamed over Marinette. Her clothes were the same as they had been for the last six months, they hugged her curves. When she took off her blazer, he could see how her neck curved, especially when her hair was puled up in a messy bun or ponytail. He had seen her hair that way, too many times, when she was busy designing. Not to mention how her pants accentuated her when she yelled at an employee for ordering the wrong fabric. Those stupid tops that she crossed her arms under her chest when someone contradicted her.

"Well, Mr. Wayne." Marinette called out, "I'm waiting. Tell me which part of my outfit is the problem, right now. I'm buttoned up and tucked in. My pants go all the way down to my ankles or are my ankles distracting someone? I certainly can't be distracting someone with a foot fetish, as I don't wear anything open-toed. There are many more employees, here at Wayne Enterprise, that dress provocative."

"Are you sure?" the Wayne heir questioned.

"I can name five ladies on this floor alone!" Marinette growled, "Two are wearing corsets with a blazer. Another is in a mini skirt and if she sits, you can see the garter straps. Another is wearing the same outfit as yesterday and reeks of cigarettes, sweat, nd bad cologne. The last one is wearing last seasons Belmere cocktail dress with tulle bishop sleeves! Thy are sewing a collection and if that sleeve gets caught, we have to destroy that fabric and her sleeves will be ripped off. I am not losing product because someone decided to be stupid this morning, Carol!"

Marinette glared at Damian Wayne, "So, tell me how innapropriate I am or you can fuck off!"

"The clothes you wear demean you and suggest you are welcoming others to join you for a night." Damian stated.

Marinette felt all the rage bubble over and she punched him in the face, sending him across the floor.

"I quit!" she snarled.

Damian looked on as Marinette walked away.

'I won.'

What he didn't expect were the not so hushed whispers of the fashion department.

"I think Mr. Wayne had a crush on her."

"I wish she would seduce me."

"You and me both."

"Apparently, she was very popular in Paris with both genders."

"Wait, what?"

"Really?"

"I heard she dated Jagged Stone's only son."

"Wasn't Adrien Agreste trying to date her?"

"So was Zoe Lee."

"The actress!"

"Mmhmm and she's the second daughter of Style Queen."

"Damn! Why is she here then?"

"She could have gone with one of them and likely inherited a fashion label!"

"Marinette always yells at us when we dress innapropriate."

"Carol."

"I pushed my sleeves up, okay!"

"I think she wrote this years dress code herself."

"I wish that I could see what Mr. Wayne saw."

"Why?"

"Are you kidding me? Stuck up Dupain-Cheng as some sexy thing and not yelling a us? Talk about a perfect fantasy!"

Damian sat there blushing as the employees talked amongst themselves.

'Did no one really see what I saw? They hadn't seen the way her clothes accentuated her? They didn't see the way her body called out to others? Was I the only one who wanted to pin her down to gain control?'

Damian stood up, admitting defeat. Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the person who irked him for months, hadn't been at war with him or seducing him; he liked her. He couldn't tell until the evidence was stacked against him. As the other employees said, she didn't even need to be there. She could marry into money, likely immediately, and run a corporation against them.

'She's not going to get away from me that easily.'

By the time Damian found Marinette, Tim was already on his knees begging her to stay and his father was apologizing about his attitude.

"I can personally guarantee that Damian will be moved departments and you never have to see him again." his own father pleaded.

Tim noticed Damian out of the corner of his eye and stood up.

"You!" Tim shouted, stalking over to his younger brother, "What the hell? Marinette is dressed perfectly fine for her job!"

"Please reconsider, Miss Dupain-Cheng." Bruce spoke.

"I will work from my own home." Mari stated, "I will come to the office only for meetings; everything else will be paper trailed through emails and run by one of you."

"That is perfectly doable." Bruce answered, "We can send any equipment you need and-"

"I have everything already."

Damian looked on confused. He had never known them to suck up this badly, not even to board members.

"You don't even know who she is; do you?" Tim exclaimed.

"An employee by the name of Marinette Dupain-Cheng." Damian answered.

Bruce sighed. Apparently his son had never read her file and background information as to why she was the head of her own department.

"She is Jagged Stone's personal and exclusive designer." Tim snarled, "She designs for many different celebrities world wide. She is known throughout Paris! You can obviously see why we wanted her here."

Damian had no clue that the she was that well known or that his family was that desperate to have her.

"What can we get you to continue to work here?" Bruce questioned, "We can pay you how ever much you want."

"I'll bump your salary to $65,000 a design." Tim offered.

Marinette shook her head, "I only want one thing and I want Damian Wayne to apologize to me."

"80,000 a design!" Tim quickly shouted.

Damian could clearly see his family was horrified. They had zero faith he would apologize or admit his mistake. Damian swallowed his pride and bowed down, as he would to his mother.

"My apologies for making my own personal assumptions." He began, "They were baseless and you truly did nothing wrong. It was my own assumption that you were attempting to seduce me that caused this."

Marinette's cheeks turned red as she listened to his in shock.

"My parents did not conceive me naturally. My mother drugged Father. I was raised and taught by her, from an early age, that women will use any means necessary to seduce who they value as someone of interest; even wear revealing clothes. They will cling to those they desire. They will feign innocence when confronted." Damian continued, "I only observed what I was told, but my family is alos correct. Your clothing is appropriate for the work place. You have never touched me inappropriately. You also have never tried to suede me. You treated me as everyone else in your department and yet-"

Damian was smacked upside the head by Tim. Damian turned to glare at him, but when he looked up, she saw Marinette covering her face with her hands and her ears were bright red.

"Miss Dupain-Cheng?" Damian spoke softly.

Marinette looked between her fingers at him, nervously.

"Miss Duapin-Cheng?" Bruce questioned, cautiously.

"I-I don't understand how-how you can like me." She stammered.

"Well, for one thing, you have a killer right hook." Damian stated.

Out of all the things, he could have answered, that was not one of them. Marinette began laughing and her hands fell away from her blushing face.

The Wayne heir smirked, "I'm also not use to people telling me to 'fuck off'."

Marinette snorted as she thought back to the first day they met. Bruce and Tim nodded as they slowly made their way away from the young adults.

"Everyone back to work." Bruce commanded, "If I see this online, I'll personally make sure whoever posted it, is fired."

The fashion department was quick to get back to work, leaving Damian Wayne to confess to their blushing designer.

TAGLIST: @maribat-calendar-events@animeweebgirl@a-star-with-a-human-name@meme991001@vixen-uchiha@abrx2002@alysrose-starchild@fandom-trapped-03@dood-space@moonlightstar64@saltymiraculer@marveldcedits20@09shell-sea09@icerosecrystal@animegirlweeb@insane-fangirl-of-everything@blueblossombliss@nickristus-dreamer@megawhitleycalderonpaganus@missmadwoman@meira-3919@princessdaisysolosyourfaves@blep-23@fangirlingfanatic@darkhinauniverse@ravenr22@im-a-satanic-ritual@ravennm84@bianca-hooks123@a-slytherinish-gryffindor@starling218

#daminette december 2023 #daminette #damian wayne #marinette dupain cheng #fashion designer marinette #wayne enterprise #mlb x dc #dc x mlb #damian x marinette #marinette x damian #enemies #tim drake #bruce wayne #popular marinette #savage marinette #crush #lust #enemies to lovers #mochinek0

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piwstri4 · 6 months

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un verano sin ti | ln4

pairing: f1driver!ex!lando norris x fashion designer!ex!reader

summary: you can't seem to find peace after success.

part one - part three

DUSK.CLOTHING

liked by ynclo, lewishamilton, lukasabbat and 97,673 others

DUSK.CLOTHING Yet again another successful project! We are very thankful for everyone who attended the show, we hope you enjoyed it at least half as much as we did setting everything up. Spring in a lavender field looks wonderful.

view all 93,723 comments

ynclo thanks to everyone who supported this project!!! i hope we can do something as amazing as this sometime soon, for now cheers to all the crew behind this fantastic runway 🔥💥

user1 i LOVED it, by far one of the most spectacular shows you've done so far guys!!

lukasabbat fire project 🔥🔥

ynclo well i had gorgeous models

lukasabbat the designer didn't fail to surprise

user2 it's amazing how she comes up w everything i love her brain

user3 all she needed was to break up w the vroom vroom guy

user4 I didn't like him either but we should still respect him anyways

user5 well he was the love of her life, let's not trash him around

lewishamilton by far one of your best works, keep up the good job!

DUSK.CLOTHING We will!

ynclo im so happy u liked it!!!!! i told u the field was a good idea

user6 tell me im not the only one who saw her flirt w that one model on the backstage???

user7 she's flirting w him in the comments.....

user8 omg name?

user7 @/lukasabbat

user9 I wish I could have gone!! Looks like a fairytale

user10 im convinced that ever since leaving vroom vroom guy she's been thriving.

user11 I know you have good intentions but please respect them both, he was a very important part of her life

user12 she's what she is bc of him

ynclo

liked by lukasabbat, danielricciardo, arthurleclerc and 63,928 others

ynclo la estoy pasando bien no te voy a mentir (pero a veces tu nombre no me deja dormir)

view all 60,378 comments

user1 i love the fact that now all her captions are in spanish

user2 queen behavior tbh bc redacted wont take the time to translate them

user3 now we have insta pages translating them!!

user4 for those wondering: "im doing great not gonna lie (but sometimes your name doesn't let me fall asleep)"

user5 I'm so convinced that it was for him

user6 of course it was for him, they were together for so long

user7 no one's gonna talk about sir mister man in the third pic?

user8 i miss her w l*ndo so much:((

danielricciardo Nice car

ynclo mine or his?

danielricciardo both

user9 yall they were gonna get married at that place 😭😭😭😭

user10 source??

user11 i might be wrong but they said that in a story + posted some pics

user12 could literally be any fucking field you are all delusional

lukasabbat amazing weekend, we should do that more ofter

ynclo waiting for ur call 🫀

lukasabbat wont have to wait too long 😉

user13 i refuse to believe they broke up 11 months ago

user14 I'm still mourning that relationship

user15 i miss my parents....

user16 who's that one in the third pic??

user17 new bf??

user18 is that luka sabbat??

user19 who?

user20 he modeled for her last collection

landonorris

liked by mclarenf1, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 99,729 others

landonorris I was enchanted to meet you

view all 76,814 comments

user1 cmon say it say it lando SAY IT

user2 i just know he wanted to say please dont fall in love with someone else

user3 not everything has to be about yn...

user4 the girl in the second pic???

user5 ikkk i saw that too!!

user6 yn?

user7 fuck no they're totally different

carlossainz55 I'm still better at golf than you

landonorris If you say so mate🫡

user5 is he grieving or soft launching i dont get it

user6 new gf??

user7 i cant believe he's having another girl

user8 they broke up almost a year ago let it go

user9 man deserves to live his life too

danielricciardo Nice car

landonorris His name's Benito

user10 are you kidding me??

user11 is he @ u know where??

user12 not the same place, it didn't have a golf field

user13 please stop the delusions

user14 we were robbed of lui and benito being siblings

user15 it hurts to remember her say that he was forever a part of her soul and now look at this mess

ynclo

liked by lukasabbat, danielricciardo, DUSK.CLOTHING and 96,923 others

ynclo te juro que no me imaginaba lo que se sentía ni lo que sería un verano sin ti.

view al 81,341 comments

user1 he got p2 today, this post was his

user2 she's allowed to move on...

user3 no bc why would she post this the same day of the race after he got p2??? i like to be delusional to think this WAS abt him

user4 so basically the caption says "i swear i didn't imagine what would feel or what would be a summer without you."

user5 in the picture "i wish her good luck, 'cause it's not like anyone can get to you"

user6 thank u for ur services

user7 This IS about him and no one can convince me otherwise

user7 the post the caption the race....

user8 she misses him i just know it

lukasabbat nice summer 🌞🌞

ynclo it always is with you <3

user9 i REFUSE to get over them

user10 we were robbed

user11 go on tell him ERES ARTE

user12 she called him a museum once

user13 i need a thread with all the beautiful things she said to him

arthurleclerc but when i invited u to monaco....

ynclo omg kids shouldn't be allowed to have phones

arthurleclerc ur so funny😐

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, mclarenf1, danielricciardo and 104,811 others

landonorris P2 BABYYYY!!!! Thanks to the team for making this possible and to OP81 for making this super special as a double podium. This one's for you.

view all 101,814 comments

user1 THIS ONE'S FOR YOU????

user2 do you remember the "i wanted it on my own but i pictured us together"? yea this is probably how she felt

user3 the way he probably did mean this to be for her... the last time he was on podium was when they broke up

user4 hes seeing someone else please respect them.

user5 i miss her congratulating him in the comments:((

user6 i can't believe it's been 11 months since his last podium!! and now it's double for mclaren!!!

danielricciardo So happy for you!! Totally deserved

landonorris Thanks mate!!!!

user7 at least danny cheered for him..

user8 "I'll never stop cheering his victories"

user9 "may he find love, health and success in his new journey"

user10 "For all he had given to me I'm forever grateful"

user11 "AND WILL ALWAYS HAVE HIM IN MY HEART"

carlossainz55 Congrats champ!

landonorris Thank you Calos!!!!!

oscarpiastri congrats on p2 LN4

landonorris Congrats on P3 OP81

user12 remember when he posted lost my girl but she aint worth the prize? yea it meant a whole year without winning shit

user13 11 months (and 2 days but who's counting??)

mclarenf1

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, ynclo and 381,204 others

mclarenf1 Congratulations for P2 and P3, Lando and Oscar! Double podium for McLaren today, we're so proud of you guys 🍾 🍾🍾

view all 81,040 comments

ynclo congrats guys!! absolutely deserved💥🎉

mclarenf1 miss u girly!! alpha tauri stole u from us

ynclo the best of both worlds!

user1 miss girly in the comments?????

user2 she also liked and commented on oscar's post,,, i dont like it here anymore

user3 is it really over just like that?

landonorris Let's goooooo

user4 i dont want to get over them

danielricciardo Another spectacular race, keep it up!

user5 do we collectively remember lqndo aiming the champagne to yn EVRYTIME he got podium?? bc i was just kinda expecting him to do that

user6 when he looked at the public and he got sad:(((

user7 wanted it on my own yet pictured us together 😭😭😭😭

user8 i know he's happy but doesn't look like it in the second pic

user9 used the whole bottle on the podium...

user10 she was in 2/3 of the relevant posts abt this... mclaren and oscar but not lando

user11 i was hoping to see her in the likes at least

user12 i think ppl forget that she liked f1 and was a huge mclaren fan even before lando signed w them://

user13 she's back at the paddocks???

user14 only in monza and monaco tho, she said she doesn't have the time to travel as much anymore

user15 and whenever danny wants her there too, she was there today

user16 she was????

user15 with the alpha tauri team yes

ynclo

liked by dusk.clothing, vogue, lukasabbat and others

ynclo I'm glad to say that even after all this time I can still let myself create the way I do, it's been three months since my last collection and I decided to take a break before starting again. A lot of things have happened in the last year and I'm still healing but with lots of people I love (and that love me back) by my side; it's not what you asked, but I got my first photoshoot as a model rather than a designer and wish to share it with you... It's a small project I had with @lukasabbat and now we can share it with you all. Please enjoy!

the original poster limits who can comment

lukasabbat amazing as always! told you modeling was your thing

ynclo it certainly was something, cant say im gonna take your job

lukasabbat im happy modeling for you then

lewishamilton Beautiful photoshoot and designs! Truly an all-rounder. This is your thing

ynclo thanks dude 😭😭

danielricciardo Great project, next time put more clothes on.

ynclo ur jealous that i can justify being naked on media

danielricciardo I don't need an excuse to be naked on media lol

vogue Next time with us? 😉

ynclo It will be a pleasure! ❤️

ynclo

liked by lukasabbat, dusk.clothing, vogue and others

ynclo y solo mírame con esos ojitos lindos (hace tiempo que no envío "buenos días, te amo")

view all comments

user1 so it's officially over now?

user2 i hate that she moved on

user3 it was officially over since last year

user4 caption "and just look at me with those pretty eyes (it's been a while since i sent 'good morning, i love you')"

user5 so it was luka sabbat after all

user6 i dont like this but i hope she's happy

lukasabbat yo no te busqué, chocamos en el trayecto

ynclo con tu alma es la que yo conecto

user4 lukasabbat "i wasn't looking for you, we met in the process" ynclo "with your soul i connect"

ynclo girll???

user7 no wonder she looked better than ever

user8 where is the "my soul cant long for someone else"???

danielricciardo Still can't believe he doesn't like fast cars

ynclo me neither 😞😞😞 honestly huge red flag

danielricciardo I'd rather sign with Ferrari if I were you

user9 FINALLY SOMEONE WHO CAN GET HER

user10 I agree!! This man's not only a model but a fashion designer as well, I'm sure she's gonna peak in no time

user11 ??

user12 why is she still dating men??

user13 no hate to lando cuz i respect him but luka looks like he's gonna be good for her

user14 idc who she dates i just hope her designs dont go downhill

arthurleclerc ask him when are we gonna play cod again???

ynclo get away from my man wtf

lukasabbat wanna stream with me tomorrow?

user15 do you think she's happy with him?

user16 cant believe her last interaction w l*ndo was three months ago and it wasn't even w him

user17 they interacted again????

user18 no the didn't, she just congratulated mclaren for the double podium

user19 what do u mean "with your soul i connect"??? girly didn't u say YOUR soul couldn't long for someone else???

user20 let the poor girl date whoever she wants omg😭😭

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 99,712 others

landonorris and the best is me

view all comments

maxverstappen1 Get P1 then talk bro

landonorris Git P1 thin tilk bri 🙄🙄

maxverstappen1 💥

user1 where's the yn translator when we need them????

user2 fr is he starting to shade her in spanish now??

user3 bet he's asking carlos to translate things for him

user4 the pic is literally a benito song lmao it's called (in english) "wish you the best"

user5 AND THE BEST IS ME OMG

user6 bro mad abt her last post i just know he is

user7 girly hurt him so bad he learnt spanish lmao

danielricciardo Fire song 🔥

landonorris It's on repeat 🫡🫡

danielricciardo Bet it is

user8 not danny shading him😭😭

user9 it took him over a year to acknowledge that she was the best on his life

carlossainz55 I didn't know you liked spanish songs!!

landonorris Only this one

carlossainz55 You should listen to Chayanne

user10 character development?

user11 Focus on winning P1 bestie!! Maybe she'll talk to you then

user12 lando punching the air rn

user13 bet he's getting first place next race only bc of this comment

user14 Took him watching her move on to realize he was an asshole

user15 nice pics, looking hot as usual

user16 cant believe he wants her back????

user17 fr im so sure he'd be happier if they dont get back together

user18 so true yn deserves better

charlesleclerc 🔥🔥

landonorris 💥💥

#lando norris fanfic #lando norris smau #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 angst #lando norris au #lando norris angst #formula 1 instagram au #formula 1 social media au

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natsgrave · 5 months

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GRAVES MASTERLIST

from heartwarming tales that tug at your emotions to thrilling adventures that leave you on the edge of your seat, this masterlist offers a diverse range of stories to suit every reader's taste. whether you're a reader looking for your next favorite story or a writer seeking inspiration, this masterlist is designed to connect you with the vibrant storytelling.

━━━━ ⧗ most work contain angst and fluff. ━━━━ ᗢ be polite or get blocked. ━━━━ ⧗ welcome gays, leave men. ━━━━ ᗢ dom!female!reader x sub!wandanat ( scarlizzie ) ━━━━ ⧗ english is not my first language, so excuse my poor grammar and poor writing style. ━━━━ ᗢ #natsgrave — my personal hashtag.

━━━━ ⧗ #grave fic reco's — fic reblogs.

━━━━ ᗢ #graves iq reco's — funny / wholesome quotes that i found.

W. MAXIMOFF | E. OLSEN request open!

━━━━ ᗢ tolerate it | pt. 2 While you were out building other worlds, where was I? You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I break free and leave us in ruins? ━━━━ ᗢ midnight rain She was sunshine, I was midnight rain. She wanted a bride, I was making my own name, chasing that fame. ━━━━ ᗢ new year's day I want your midnights, but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's day. Please, don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere. ━━━━ ᗢ inside my palm She said; the whole world can fit inside my palm. ━━━━ ᗢ cake The role you made me play of the fool, how you laugh when you lie, I got a list of names and yours is in red underlined. Oh, look what you made me do. ━━━━ ᗢ scary witch The stars in your eyes shined brighter in tupelo, and if you're ever tired of being known for who you know, you know, you'll always know me. ━━━━ ᗢ flirting Baby, was it over then? Is it over now? ━━━━ ᗢ boobs There's nothin' like a mad woman, what a shame she went mad. No one likes a mad woman, you made her like that. ━━━━ ᗢ do you want my number? I'm captivated by you, baby, like a fireworks show. I see sparks fly, whenever you smile, get me with those green eyes, baby. ━━━━ ᗢ bus The old lady thinks that you and lizzie make a really good couple. ━━━━ ᗢ mommy I loved you in secret. I could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets, picture of your face in an invisible locket. And darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis. People started talking, putting us through our paces, I knew there was no one in the world who could take it. ━━━━ ᗢ cold And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name. And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away. That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend ━━━━ ᗢ use me' You're a mansion with a view, do the girls back home touch you like I do? ━━━━ ᗢ kids' And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches. Give you my wild, give you a child. Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other. ━━━━ ᗢ distant In a world of boys, she's a gentlewoman. ━━━━ ᗢ she's back Sometimes I wonder; when you sleep, are you ever dreaming of me? Sometimes when I look into your eyes, I pretend you're mine, all the damn time. ━━━━ ᗢ soulmate What a shame, didn't want to be the one that got away. Taking down the pictures and the plans we made. Big mistake, you broke the sweetest promise that you never should have made.

━━━━ ᗢ her villain 'Cause all the boys and their expensive cars with their range rovers and their jaguars never took me quite way you do. ━━━━ ᗢ greatest what if Someday when you leave me, I bet these memories follow you around. ━━━━ ᗢ professor maximoff Why is she just so oblivious? ━━━━ ᗢ heart I knew it from the first old fashioned, we were cursed. Should've known I'd be the first to leave think about the place where you first met me.

━━━━ ᗢ you're losing me How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'? Do I throw out everything we built or keep it? And you know what they all say, you don't know what you got until it's gone. ━━━━ ᗢ after the fight | pt. 2 Echoes of your name inside my mind, hiding my obsession. I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy. ━━━━ ᗢ last memory If I didn't know better, I'd think you were talking to me now. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were still around. What died didn't stay dead, you're alive, so alive, in my head. ━━━━ ᗢ shadows of the night Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby and I'm a monster on the hill. Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city pierced through the heart, but never killed. I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror, it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero. ━━━━ ᗢ love A string that pulled me, out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar. Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire, chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons. One single thread of gold tied me to you. And isn't it just so pretty to think, all along there was some invisible string tying you to me? ━━━━ ᗢ birthday Your wish is my command. ━━━━ ᗢ wedding Sometimes giving up is the strong thing, sometimes to run is the brave thing, sometimes walking out is the one thing, that will find you the right thing. The snaps from the same little breaks in your soul, you know when it's time to go. ━━━━ ᗢ champagne problems I never was ready, so I watch you go. But you'll find the real thing instead, she'll patch up your tapestry that I shred. You won't remember all my champagne problems. ━━━━ ᗢ compliments she deserves it all.

N. ROMANOFF | S. JOHANSSON

request closed! ━━━━ ⧗ pick up lines And that's how it works, that's how you got the girl.

━━━━ ⧗ high school sweetheart You wear the same jewels that I gave you as you bury me. I didn't have it in myself to go with grace and you're the hero flying around, saving face. And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? ━━━━ ⧗ coffee I've been spending the last eight months, thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end. But on a wednesday, in a cafe, I watched it begin again. ━━━━ ⧗ cold hearted You're so gorgeous, I can't say anything to your face, 'cause look at your face. And I'm so furious at you for making me feel this way. ━━━━ ⧗ it was you' Something's gone terribly wrong, you're all I wanted. Can't turn back now, I'm haunted. ━━━━ ⧗ the photographer and actress Big reputation, you and me, we'd be a big conversation. It's like your eyes are liquor, it's like your body is gold. You've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks, so here's the truth from my red lips. ━━━━ ⧗ thank you Why'd you have to lead me on? Why'd you have to twist the knife? Walk away and leave me bleedin'. ━━━━ ⧗ the knight All I know is you held the door, you'll be mine and I'll be yours. All I know since yesterday is everything has changed. ━━━━ ⧗ my atlantis To kiss in cars and downtown bars was all we needed. You drew stars around my scars but now I'm bleedin'. I knew you tried to change the ending, peter losing wendy. ━━━━ ⧗ ex I used to say never say never, but we are never getting back together, like ever. ━━━━ ⧗ in the next lifetime But in those photos, I saw us instead and, somehow, I know that you and I would've found each other in another life. You still would've turned my head even if we'd met. You're always gonna be mine, we're gonna be timeless. ━━━━ ⧗ you have flour When you think of all the late nights, lame fights over the phone. Your past and mine are parallel lines, stars all aligned and they intertwined. ━━━━ ⧗ we both had our chance I persist and resist the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different, would everything be different today? ━━━━ ⧗ i miss you Now, I fear I have fallen from grace and I feel like my castle's crumbling down. ━━━━ ⧗ what's the answer? Spending the next few years of my life looking for answers from her. ━━━━ ⧗ short You think she's just being dramatic about it. ━━━━ ⧗ she doesn't love me anymore What the fuck? ━━━━ ⧗ this is your fault Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen? Hang up, give up, and for the life of us, we can't get back. ━━━━ ⧗ bad temper | pt. 2 | pt. 3 My words shoot to kill when I'm mad, I have a lot of regret about that. ━━━━ ⧗ teddy bear Seems like she don't hate Mr. cuddle that much. ━━━━ ⧗ you forgot your clothes I'm so chill, but you make me jealous, but I got your heart skippin'. You know I'm not a bad girl but I do bad things with you. ━━━━ ⧗ i'm falling again Oh oh, I'm falling inlove again. ━━━━ ⧗ gorgeous specimen I was enchanted to meet you. ━━━━ ⧗ too late words— how little they mean when you're a little too late. ━━━━ ⧗ how to seduce your wife | pt. 2 I would stay forever if you say, don't go. ━━━━ ⧗ threesome' All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting, 'cause I don't want you like a best friend. ━━━━ ⧗ i hate you Remembering her comes in flashbacks and echoes, tell myself it's time now gotta let go. But moving on from her is impossible, when I still see it all in my head, in burning red. ━━━━ ⧗ streamer' Don't worry, you're safe, the stream's off. ━━━━ ⧗ recreating memories I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you. I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you. I once believed love would be black and white but it's golden, like daylight. ━━━━ ⧗ ribbon Found my way back to her. ━━━━ ⧗ you went home early I know that I'm a handful, baby. But one of these things is not like the others, baby doll, when it comes to a lover I promise that you'll never find another like me. ━━━━ ⧗ eight years This is the last time I'm asking you why, you break my heart in the blink of an eye.

If you have any suggestions or recommendations for additions to this masterlist, don't hesitate to reach out and let me know! divider made by @cafekitsune

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goldnhourwrites · 3 months

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Not enough people talked about these so I'm gonna do it myself because oh my god (commentary and headcanons below, it's just long)

Sett has a little travel-sized sewing kit in his bag... it's so tidy... sett stitching things back together when his bandmates rip them...

Sett just casually carries around like 20+ pounds of dumbbells. Mans is literally always working out. The grind never stops.

"yo Ezreal can you grab my bag for me?" "Yeah sure--what the FUCK do you have in here? This thing weighs a hundred pounds."

His little exercise headband... and is that a hair tie behind it? Sett with his hair tied back??

Sett's energy bar collection. Sett's the type of person to pack an entire backpack full of snacks for a road trip.

Ezreal has a plushie OF HIMSELF on his bag.

this guy practically collects aesthetic glasses. 3 pairs in the bag plus the circle ones he had in PARANOIA.

Sharpie (for signing autographs???) His signature on the polaroids of himself???

The photo under the lip balm looks like it might be Ezreal and Aphelios. Ezreal's the type of person to make sure he has photos with all of his friends. Ezreal hanging up his favorite polaroids in his room.

can we talk about the all-white fit in the very bottom photo omg

Aphelios has back-up headphones for his headphones.

WHO SENT THE SNACKS. WAS IT ALUNE. WAS IT SOMEONE ELSE.

The writing on the note looks like Korean but unfortunately I don't know any Korean :(

his sticky noted book... is it a journal? is it full of lyrics? who put the little smiley face sticker on the front!! does he write in it!!

I love the idea of Aphelios just pulling out a little keyboard whenever he wants to write down a tune. How well can he play the piano? Only enough to write music, or does he have songs memorized? Does he ever play for anyone?

K'SANTE'S DRAWING TABLET

he's not just in charge of putting together their fashion, he designs it himself. i'm going to scream

I am in love with those glasses. I need art of k'sante in those glasses ASAP. i will do it myself if i have to.

What is his book!! What does the W stand for!!

The way the button on his gloves matches the one on his jacket in his LoL splash art. This tiny detail is driving me insane.

Also, the cologne? The top is the same as his necklace? Does he have a specific personal cologne? So elegant...

Kayn's Pentakill guitar pick. Let me see him play the guitar I beg

The crumpled up receipts. This man goes Shopping (also see: cash, various coins). And he just has a bunch of random shit in his bag because he never bothers cleaning it out.

the open leaking bottle of hair dye. please. do you NEED that

The random jewelry... I love the idea of him either a) taking it off, shoving it in his bag, and forgetting where he put it or b) bringing backup drip with him everywhere in case he needs more

While Sett, Aphelios, and Yone all opted for headphones, Kayn's gone with good old-fashioned corded earbuds. Does he not like headphones? Is it because they mess up his hair?

Big ass box of matches and For Why? Does he smoke? Is he too cool to carry around a lighter? Does he just like setting shit on fire?

Yone keeps a little emergency travel kit. Band mom energy. He's got band-aids and a toothbrush and toothpaste At The Ready.

Bottle of lotion? Yone with a skincare routine? Yone who stays moisturized? Everybody in Heartsteel asking Yone for lotion?

Earplugs (for sleeping on long bus rides, maybe?) I want to see Yone going "I'm sick of this shit" and tuning the fuck out.

Yone is the only one with a real headphone case. Aphelios has his around his neck 24/7, but his wireless earbuds have a case. Sett's just shoving his in there with twenty pounds of dumbbells and hoping for the best.

Yone's got so many little gadgets and I don't even know what they all are. He has his laptop and (probably) his phone, plus a smartwatch, and maybe a portable charger? He's that prepared.

I can't tell what the object beside his smartwatch is (looks wooden?) If anyone knows, let me know? I'm so curious

This man's got even more stuff inside his bag. Yone doesn't leave the house without like fifteen things in case of an emergency.

good news everyone. i'm still losing my mind over them

#heartsteel #heartsteel sett #heartsteel ezreal #heartsteel aphelios #heartsteel k'sante #heartsteel kayn #heartsteel yone

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a-aexotic · 9 months

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✫𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒖𝒆, i can see you.

✫ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 cursing, mention of partying, lecturting, sarcasm ✫ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 hey guys! i hope you enjoyed the prologue. please show your love by liking and/or reblonging, they are very much appreciated. i am so beyond excited for this series and hopefully i meet my deadline lol. everything will be complete as of october 1st, 2023! ✫ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (send an ask or comment to be added!) main masterlist. gilmore girls masterlist. playlist.

Manhattan was the type of city where you either love it, or hate. There is no in-between and depending on if you love or hate it, describes who you are as a person.

Y/N Cromwell loved Manhattan. She was as classy and sophisticated as they come, she doesn't own anything that wasn't designer or specially made for her. I mean, if you lived like that, you would sure as hell love it as well.

Y/N lived her life to the fullest, taking YOLO a little too seriously. Her mother, Nancy Cromwell, is a world-renowned fashion designer and she is never home. And when she is home, she is usually tucked in her office, away from the world and her daughter. But, she learned to adapt without her mother and she was slightly okay with her not being around as much as she used to.

Filling her closet with expensive purses and even more expensive perfumes, she lived like royalty. Her mother never set financial boundaries for her, so she spent as much as she wanted. She usually got away with everything. Key-word being, usually.

Y/N sat at the edge of her huge bed, tuning out the lecture she was getting from her mother. She tried to listen and nod but it wasn't an easy task to do for more than 5 minutes.

"—an irresponsible girl! I am tired of it, Y/N. Always going out with those girls, not playing attention in class or-"

That was where she stopped and corrected her. "I do play attention mom, how else would I have a 4.0?"

Her mom stopped her lecture and sighed, rubbing her temple frustratedly. "Is that the only thing you got from my whole talk?"

She sat up with a bright grin. "Well I'm not gonna let you sit here and lecture me about something that I hadn't done. I do pay attention."

"This isn't about school-"

"Then don't bring it up." Y/N said simply, smiling at her mother's vexed expression.

"Listen, Y/N, one more mess-up and you're done I'll send you to live with your father in Connecticut."

Y/N had no reaction whatsoever to the meaningless threat. Her mother always throwing that threat left and right, there was no way she'd actually go through with it.

Y/N feigned understanding and her mother sighed with a nod. "Got it, young lady?"

"Got it, ma'am." She mocked slightly before her mom finally gave up, walking out of her room. That was when Y/N finally let out an agitated groan, before taking out her flip-phone and clicked her friend's contact.

It rang before it finally picked up. "Hey, honey!"

"Are we going to Daniel's party or what?"

"I thought you were grounded, Y/N/N."

Y/N rolled her eyes. "That's not stopping me, Lindsay. We going or what?"

The black Prada glasses and sour expression sitting on Y/N's expression was very telling. She was either hungover or high right now—but unfortunately for her, she was neither at the moment. She was sitting in Hartford Airport waiting for her father's, now late, arrival.

Her mother's words kept replaying in her head. "One mistake in Connecticut and I'm sending you the Netherlands. And no, not the cities—the countryside." That alone sent shivers down her spine, having to live without electricity and texting. How can anything be worse than that?

Y/N had to get her act up. If she didn't, she would have to live among cows and pigs. She decided she was going to try her best to sell the 'good girl' act to everyone, whether they believed it or not.

She finally sees a familar face walking up to her. She let out one last annoyed groan silently before getting up and putting on her best smile. "Daddy!"

Her father immediately grinned, opening up his arms to give his finest bear hugs. "Sweetheart, how've you been?" He immediately paused. "That's, uh not a good question. Nevermind. How are you dealing with everything?"

He knew how dramatic his daughter could be. She loved New York and getting sent away would surely spark some anger in her and he did not want to be on the receiving end of it.

Y/N slid up her sunglasses to face her father. "I'm doing well. I think this is good." God, this sounded unnatural and wrong. She wasn't happy and she sure has hell doesn't think this will be any good for her. "To be away from the City will some good for me, being around my old... friends will surely make me feel better."

Her father looked surprised at her somewhat mature response. "Wow, well I'm glad that's how you're viewing this experience. Good for you, Y/N. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, dad. I really am trying, I'm glad you see that." Another lie. She almost felt bad for deceiving her father.

Well, that was until she got home. As they pulled in the house—it was exactly how they left it. Her father usually spends the summers with her in Manhattan so she hasn't seen this house in almost two years. It brought back so many memories. But she couldn't sit on the nostalgia because it quickly flooded away as she was struck with confusion. There was a slightly familiar woman standing outside the home, waiting for their arrival.

"Who's that?" Y/N sat up a little straighter in the passenger seat, her eyebrows furrowing.

"Well, uh honey I've been waiting for a right time to tell you this..." Her father swiftly put the car parked in driveway, turning face to face with Y/N. "I'm—well, we... we're engaged."

"Who’s we?" I asked I look outside the window to the mysterious woman standing on the porch.

Her father paused as his expression changed from excited to slightly agitated. "Your mom hadn't mentioned me dating Kristian?"

"You hadn't mentioned it either." You swallowed nervously. Her father was dating (and now engaged) to someone she'd never heard about from neither of them. She felt a little dread because she suddenly felt out of the loop.

Her father sighed. "Let's talk inside, honey."

Her father got her luggage and the lady greeted her politely and she did the same. At this point the only facts she knew was A. her name was Kristan, B. she looks a little familiar, and C. she's blonde.

As her father put her stuff back up in her old bedroom, they both sat in the living room awkwardly waiting for her father's arrival. He finally walked down the stairs and sat next to Kristan, putting an arm over her shoulder. Wow, he's really serious about her.

"So..." Y/N started the conversation. "You're engaged."

He cleared his throat. "Me and Kristan have been engaged about two months now and we've been dating a year and a half." And he somehow failed to mention anyone when he called or visited.

Y/N kept her slight disappointment to a minimum as she nodded politely. He seemed genuine about her and she knew she'd be an even more terrible daughter if she started a fit. He was happy and that's all that matters... at least that was what she was trying to convince herself.

Y/N got up from the couch and cleared her throat, putting on her pageant queen smile. "I'm, uh Y/N Cromwell."

Kristan laughed softly before doing the same while extending a hand. "I know that, sweetie. I'm Kristan Dugray, pleased to meet you."

Dugray... Dugray... Where had she heard that name before? Y/N furrowed her eyebrows as she thought until her question was finally answered.

The front door opened suddenly and she whipped her head to make eye contact with... Tristan Dugray? Oh, so that's where she's heard that name!

Y/N couldn't control as her mouth flew open. She also couldn't control the words that came out of her mouth as she saw him. "Oh, you've gotta be shitting me."

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watermelonsugacry · 1 year

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wait a second what the heck did 1d member!yn wear to the met gala? i feel like she probably went before harry hosted and was probably in ari’s dress for the heavenly bodies themed one and when she went with harry she was just the embodiment of camp i just know it

2018 - Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination

"Oh-oh my gosh it's freakin' YN YLN," Liza Koshy grunts excitedly at the sight of the former One Direction star walking up the carpeted steps. "Nothing can drag her down, she looks so amazing. You look absolutely beautiful!" Liza Koshy gushes as YN walks up to her first interview section of the night.

"'fank you! You look gorgeous, babe," She compliments back as she adjusts herself to show off her beautiful gown.

"The angels above are singing right now and you're a singing angel yourself. And how fitting that your album is titled Only Angel because you certainly are one tonight," YN grips onto Liza's hand and scrunches up her nose as she giggles at how many compliments the young woman is throwing out at her.

"Stop, please don't make me laugh, I can't breathe in this corset," The two women laugh and YN has to put a hand on her tummy to help control her breathing.

"You look fantastic, girl. Please tell us about your look."

"So I'm wearing Vera Wang tonight. It is the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. It's the last judgment scene where Christ decides who goes to Heaven and who goes to Hell."

"This is your first Met Gala, how are you feeling tonight?" Liza gives a warm smile.

"I feel amazing. I feel excited. I can't really believe that I'm here. I feel like m'at a very expensive prom," YN smiles brightly as she looks around at all the well-dressed guests.

"Will you save me a dance later then?"

"Oh, absolutely!"

"And lastly, do you have anything you want to confess?" The interviewer humorously wiggles her eyebrows.

"Umm, I feel like I have to pee a little bit. M'kinda hungry, to be honest," YN lists with a laugh, the woman next to her following suit.

"Well, if you need help in the bathroom with all that dress you let me know. Girl, I got you," The pop star thanks her over a laugh. "Well you look phenomenal," Liza shakes her head in disbelief one more time. "Have a good night tonight."

"You as well. I'll see yeh on the dance floor!" YN calls over her shoulder with a wave of her hand as she's escorted away.

2019 - Camp: Notes on Fashion

"...baby you light up the Met like nobody else. How are you doing, Mister Harry Styles?"

After some initial questions, Liza asks the tongue twister question, "You are a style icon for so many, who's Harry Styles's style icon?"

"Erm, this lovely lady over here," Harry smiles warmly once he sees the woman in question make her way up the pink stars. He's quickly going over to her, taking her hand in his and helping her up the rest of the way.

"Ms. YN YLN! Oh my gosh!"

"Liza! How are yeh, babe?" YN giddily shuffles her way over to give the fun interviewer a hug the best she can over her outfit.

"I'm good, I'm good. I'm like a hummingbird perched on a flower bush!" Liza makes a bird cooing sound and it makes the couple laugh. "You look so stunning. Please tell me about your look."

"So I'm wearing Gucci today and this piece is called The Girl In Bloom. It was designed and made by my good friend, Emma Evans who has been me stylist since I first started my career."

"Please tell me, how does this outfit speak to you and to Camp?"

"Well, I think Camp is about being genuine and being yourself," YN nods her head, her gloved-covered hands moving in front of her as she speaks. "I'm sharing some of my story through this piece in how I grew up in the music industry: on a personal level, a musical level, and so on. So I started in this industry as a young girl and now I'm blossoming into something more. Fashion is supposed to be fun and expressive and I think this outfit showcases that for me tonight."

While YN explains her outfit, the camera picks up the way he's fondly smiling at his secret girlfriend. He's in awe at her words and how she chooses to express herself. It's a bit surreal that both of them are in attendance tonight, a very public and well-known event where they are free to hang out, talk about fashion and just have a good time. It's a proud moment for the both of them for sure.

"Ooo m'am you have such a way with words you sound so majestic," Liza playfully fans herself. "So we all know that the two of you are very familiar with one another-"

"This guy? I just met this bloke tonight," YN jokes and it makes Harry tilts his chin down to his chest as he chuckles. "I thought he was only helping me up the steps. I dunno know this guy at all."

She gives his wrist a squeeze with a cheeky smile and Harry doesn't think twice about placing his hand protectively on the bottom of her back--a part in the video that fans keep replaying over and over again.

"Yeah, I don't know either. Who is this guy?" Liza dramatically teases. "With both of you two here tonight, how excited are you guys to be here?"

"I feel very excited," Harry starts and looks at his former band member with a fond smile. "Events like this seem like a once in a lifetime opportunity so it's nice to be here with a friend."

"Alright guys, have a great rest of your night!"

"You as well, thank you," And with that, Harry extends an arm for YN to grab onto as they walk inside the grand hall.

When Liza turns back to the camera, she suddenly sucks in a dramatic breath, " I feel like I can breathe again."

The After Party:

After playing host for the majority of the night and being released from his Co-Chair duties, Harry takes YN up to the DJ platform to have some much-needed fun.

The short video clip of the three of them up there shows the fans how hammered the two of them have gotten.

As Mark Ronson remixes Rolling In The Deep, YN and Harry dance behind him. While gripping onto each others hands, they sway themselves to the rhythm of the music. She sways her hips with her eyes closed and when Harry lets her go, the back of her hands brush up along the nape of her neck, up the side of her face and in the air.

When Mark switches it up to The 900 Number, the two friends look at each other with wide eyes and excited smiles.

Harry reaches out to grip her shoulders as he drunkenly yells to her over the loud music, "Oh, fuck!" All the while, YN's face scrunches up in a tipsy giggle and she grips onto his forearms.

The video clip ends as Harry tugs her closer to him, throwing an arm around the tops of her shoulders as they turn their backs to the camera.

SINCE 2010 masterlist

I write for free so if any of you lovies would like to help a college girl out and buy her a ko-fi i would greatly appreciate it :) 💚

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lavendel081 · 7 months

Note

seeing that family tree, i just need to know ALL about Eris' side of the family!

tell us as much as you can about her parents, her step-dad, her half-sister and her grandparents, please! \o/

literally kissing you for letting me talk about them!! I'm so grateful !! finna cry!! Thank you rahh!! I wanted to draw them all again, but I'm too tired with the webtoon (the next episode has 47 panels so that's a lot), so I'll just use the portraits I did of them!

Let's start with the OG!!! Grandpa!!

For fun I made a grandpa design before, and then got the idea to eventually do a prequel story for him! I don't know if I'll ever do it, so I guess I can talk about it here!

Grandpa doesn't have a canon name, but he lived in Pelican Town since he was born. He was the son of a doctor, and his childhood friend is Evelyn. After George moved to the valley, they become besties!! The old farmer in town is somewhat secluded, and has no family, but Evelyn happened to sometimes bring him food and take care of him, so one day Grandpa joins her. He decides he doesn't want to take on his fathers' legacy, and instead buy the farm from the old man. So int his story, the farm has only been in Eris family since grandpa, and well then kinda died with him until Eris comes to the valley. He has a younger sister, who may or may not take over the clinic instead (even if their father was against it at first, since they are v old-fashioned,,)

You can find some designs of other younger versions of npc here!!

Grandpa has one son! I don't think I'll give him any siblings, but yippie Elias! He looks a lot like Eris, and it's on purpose for Eris to strongly take after him instead of her mother.

He used to be a troubled youth, who, like his own father, didn't want to take on his fathers' legacy. So it's kind of a repeating cycle? He moved to the city v early on, didn't like living out in the valley. Maybe he's a bit like Sebastian in that sense? He mellows out a lot though and is a very gentle man. He and Ingrid/Eris Mom are both very laid back when it comes to raising their kids too. Mostly too busy with work, but it gives both girls an easy lifestyle!

With Ingrid, I happened to somehow mirror Robins story in a way, even though a lot less dark (at least in my version of Robins story)

Ingrid also had her first child very early on in life, somewhere in her early 20's. I'm still not sure if she necessarily got married to Marissa's/her first daughter's father, but they separated pretty quickly and their custody battle went fine? Marissa isn't very close to her father, but they aren't necessarily on bad terms. Ingrid is very independent, and is the main bread winner. She's also 4 years older than Elias and taller than him. (She still wears heels around him, though.)

Marissa is 8 years older than Eris, but they are semi-close! She's not very good at showing her feelings, but she cares a lot for her sister in her own way. When they were younger, and their parents often weren't home, Marissa took Eris to restaurants, so they could have dinner together. So she also helped raise Eris a lot.

She also often did Eris hair and picks her clothes! She might be so famous at this point, that she might appear in my webtoon soon, he-he! Marissa is like her mother, very independent and focused on her goals. She also has a very sharp tongue, in the sense that she says what she thinks.

And that's everyone, I think!! Thank you again for letting me talk about them that means so much to me rahh!!!

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roronoaism · 2 months

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♥︎ BEAUTY QUEEN ♥︎

part 1 out of ?

+ warnings: wlw relationship/themes, modern au (no mentions of pirates, the straw hats are just a group of friends), reader gets drunk

+ ft: designer! nico robin + artist! fem reader

+ wc: 0.6k

+ summary: after scoring a job to help a local designer grow her business, you get roped into her group of friends. however, robin seems to have taken an interest in you, and you can't help but feel that it's more than work place admiration.

+ notes: i plan on writing like, 2 or 3 of these? the next ones will have more relationship development and smut i promise yall

after ages of working hard, perfecting your art skills and proving people (and maybe yourself) that you did deserve to be part of the arts, you achieved success.

or, a miniature success. but it's still a win in your book.

you stand outside a small design studio, Hana Hana no Mi, an elegant purple and pink theme surrounding the place. 'looks cute', you think to yourself, walking in the place, a small chime ringing. a lady comes out, with the aura of true beauty. which is a thing now, because you said so.

"hello, is there something you need, sweetheart?" she ask, a playful smile plastered on her face.

"i'm your new assistant. i'm from the art school, the one who's gonna help out? or something, honestly whatever you need, ms-?"

"nico robin. but please, call me robin~" she purrs, looking at you with an interested gleam in her eye.

"quite a cutie, you will definitely be a help around here~! all i have is sanji constantly up my ass about asking nami out, and luffy tries to eat in here, oh, and -" she rambles on, mentioning names you haven't heard before.

"who exactly are those people?" you ask, looking at her curiously.

"oh, my friends. don't worry, you'll meet em soon!" she chirps, turning around and organizing a rack of clothes.

"these are beautiful." you mumble in awe, staring a skirt she designed. "all you?"

the ravenette turns to back, a small smile on her face. "yes. it's hard work, but i'm glad i have someone around. now, do you have any experience in design? fashion industry? clothing making?"

"no... but i'm an artisit!" you nervously reply, a small look of concern plastered on your face. "is that bad or-"

"it'll do. don't fret, i'll take good care of you. how about you settle your stuff down here, and then i take ya to get some drinks with my friends, hm?" robin ask, smiling as she takes your hand. "you'll be fine, darlin'. they don't bite. only sanji, if ya like it though... he's just horny, and zoro is just grumpy." she drops your hand, working on closing the store up for the mean time, letting you settle down.

♡ ♡ ♡

the bar is noisy, and loud. you sit next to robin and luffy, the so called 'leader of the straw hat crew' rambling your ear off. robin listens in on your two's (one sided, almost) conversation, giggling anytime you look to her for help on getting the man to shut up.

you didn't know how many drinks you were on, but things were starting to get fuzzy. sanji and zoro were off bickering somewhere, and luffy's words were blending together in your ears.

"hey, let's get ya back to my place, hm?" robin ask, a hand on your shoulder. you nodded, unsure of what was happening entirely, but happy to leave the loud and chaotic place.

robin walks you back to her apartment, settling you on the couch and getting you a glass on water and a bit of food. "incase your hungry, i'd hate for my doll to feel like absolute shit, although i bet you're gonna be dealin with a hangover tomorrow, you drank a bit."

the worry on her face was apparent, but not like you could tell in your drunken haze. you just nodded at her words, resting on her shoulder and chest, before dozing off into a silent slumber.

her hand rest on your shoulder, keeping you close to her. exactly where she wanted you.

your phone goes off, and robin takes a look at who texted you. the number was unknown, and the message read 'can we meet up again? its been a while... i miss you'

maybe she wouldn't have you yet

#nico robin #robin one piece #one piece #one piece x reader #one piece x you #robin x reader #nico robin x reader #nico robin x you #straw hat pirates #♥ - vinnies corner

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purgemarchlockdown · 5 months

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Milgram and The Prince

(A Companion to my Rose Bride post you can read here, not necessary to read as I reestablish all the necessary points I made there here but it be nice to see another person read it) (CWs: Unhealthy Power Dynamics, Sexism, Discussions of Ownership in the context of Marriage, allusions to sexual abuse)

(Spoilers for Utena!)

So, as I discussed in the post linked above. In Revolutionary Girl Utena, There is a dichotemy between a Prince and Princess, with Princesses being (in the shortest way I can explain it) an unrealistic and unhealthy expectation for women to fit into a role that Lacks Autonomy and Power, and if they don't they get demonized and branded as a Witch, and Princes is an unrealistic and unhealthy expectation for men to have Complete Power, Autonomy and Control over Princess.

When we get into the Rose Bride we delve into the ideas of ownership, abuse and demonization, as the Rose Bride should Obey Whatever Their Betrothed Tells Them To Do. This Prince is who we are focusing on for this post.

"She looks gallant in a guy's uniform, but she looks perfect in a dress, too!"

Let's start off with Mikoto and John, as they're the best jumping off point when talking about the dynamic of the Prince and the Rose Bride.

Now, while the Rose Bride (and princesses) as a Role is very traditionally feminine and rooted in gender and well, misogyny. Mikoto actually has been heavily Associated with traditionally feminine characteristics and stereotypes. (Mikoto Interrogations)

T1Q4: Do you pay attention to fashion? A: Of course. No one would want to request something from a designer with no fashion sense, right?

T1Q10: Have you ever gotten angry at other people? A: I don't think I've gotten angry before. Isn't it kind of disgraceful to get angry?

Me, the newborn other you

In Isolation, these characteristics don't hint at anything, however when them put together, plus idea that John was "born" from Mikoto and how he even gets tied into with the rest of the girls by how he repeats his T1 Title and is the Only Guy that does so creates a interesting association with Mikoto and Femininity.

Not only that but Mikoto is Heavily Sexualized In MeMe.

A detail that's strange when even Yuno, who Wears Lingerie in Teardrop. Doesn't get sexualized in the same way Mikoto does. When Mikoto is on screen in MeMe the camera is Gazing at him. Watching him take off his shirt and bathe.

(Utena Scripts)

Anthy: The one I'm engaged to can do as he pleases with me.

People haven noted that MeMe and Mikoto references a lot of classic horror and I'd like to mention that, not only is dying in a shower a common trope, especially in horror. It's a death that commonly happens to Women. To the point where, the TVTropes Page for Deadly Bath comments on it.

Whenever it's a killer or monster that's the cause of death, the victim is always a woman for some reason.

MeMe seems to be mainly referencing the 1960s Alfred Hitchcock film Psycho, and the most well known scene from the film is the murder of a woman in the shower.

Plus, said murderer, a character with a Very Demonized and Inaccurate Portrayal of DID, is also a transphobic stereotype who kills his mom and then dresses up as her to pretend that she's Still There.

Stepping aside the Many Issues with Psycho's Portrayal of DID and transphobia for a bit, these are More Examples of Mikoto being associated with Femininity.

But it doesn't even end there! Mikoto feels like a bystander in his own life, he's on a train going nowhere in Double. He's predicting his own fate in MeMe. He has no clue where his life is going and part of it is in the hand of someone he knows Nothing About. It's scary and terrifying and his agency is minimal and he doesn't even know who he really is at this point.

Why am I here? It must be a mistake? Take a good look at me Until you find me Why, hey why, I’m nowhere to be found So I will NEVER forgive you if this is happening to me even though I’m right Why, hey why, please let me out of here Please tell me it’s a mistake, that’s it’s a lie

I'd like to mention before I continue that Rypirotes actually pointed out this Exact Thing before! That Mikoto is the Damsel in Distress and John is his Heroic Knight. Or in my case, Mikoto is the Rose Bride, and John is the Prince.

Miki: Her eyes are telling me... Miki: that she wants to be set free. Miki: I will protect you... Miki: I will protect your beautiful sound, Himemiya-san!

Now the thing about the Princess/Prince dynamic in Utena is that it actually mirrors a dynamic present in Milgram, the Victim/Savior one. I mention this a bit in my Rose Bride post but I'm going to expand on it a bit more here.

We, the audience are very familiar with John positioning himself as Mikoto's savior, it's one of the first lines of Double we ever Heard.

Cling to me, hoist me up as your “savior”

Of course as we know Mikoto has been very Distressed about John and his presence. The loss of time and memory and control and the fear of not being the real "him" haunting him. Making him portray John in a more villainous and evil light.

John is pretty upset about this, but less because he's being portrayed as a villain (though that frustration of trying so hard and yet being feared is a part of it) and more because he feels like he Ruined Mikoto's Life in his attempts to save him.

If only I were never born, if only Why, why I’m so sorry.

Utena: Instead, I just kept on pretending to be the Prince who could save you. Utena: I was just being conceited about protecting you.

As we know, John's statements in Neoplasma are Unreliable, as he seemingly tries to shift all the blame of the murders to him in an effort to protect Mikoto since he was Born to Do That.

(Neoplasma)

John: That’s right. I’ll have to disappear eventually, anyway… Disappear, and take all of it with me. I… was born to protect Boku, after all.

The problem is not John wanting to protect Mikoto. It's that John in the attempt to protect Mikoto, harms him. It's not out of malice or some inherent flaw in his birth or anything like that. It's because John treats Mikoto as powerless.

John: It’s true that I was the one who wanted to destroy everything… and the weakness of Boku, who couldn’t stand up for himself all alone, might have been the origin of that. But… that’s all there is to it. Is that a sin?

While John puts Mikoto on a pedestal he also believes Mikoto to be weaker and needing protection, and no matter how True that statement may be, the way he helps Mikoto makes him feel powerless, confused and like a bystander in his own life.

Anthy: Because I'm the Rose Bride...because I'm a doll with no heart... Anthy: I thought that no matter what befell my body, my heart wouldn't feel the pain.

Welcome home, another day, another day with that hardly barely there of a smile You’re overdoing it, you’re already broken

John doesn't want to hurt Mikoto, he really doesn't. He just doesn't know what else he could Possibly do, he was made to take all of this on. That's what a Prince does.

Saionji: So you want to be the prince who saves the helpless princess?

So he pushes people away, hides things from Mikoto, and so on. Because even though he doesn't really know what Mikoto wants from him, he believes this is the only way to help him. (Thank you Laniemae for drawing his paranoia in particular to my attention!)

Utena: When you were suffering so much...when I had said we should save each other... Utena: I'M the one who's unfair. I'm the one who's dirty. Utena: I'm the one who betrayed you.

Hey, I just wanted to save you So why did it come to this?

Which just makes Mikoto's feelings of powerless worse and causes him confusion, worry and stress. And when that reaches a breaking point, John will need to clean up whatever mess gets left behind and the cycle starts again.

The dynamic of the Rose Bride and the Prince is one built on a Horrific Power Imbalance. You don't want to be The Rose Bride, and you don't want to be The Prince either.

"Instead of a princess to be protected, I want to become a dashing prince."

It might be strange to have Kotoko here when the Prince as an archetype both in and out of Utena is associated with men, however the thing about Kotoko is that she idealizes The Prince.

Voice: but because of the strength of her admiration for the prince, Voice: the princess made up her mind to become a prince herself! Voice: But is that really good for her?

Now let's get something out of the way before I start this section, Kotoko has gone On Record saying she isn't exactly attached to the concept of femininity. (Kotoko Interrogations)

T1Q10: What do you think about the word 'feminimity'? A: It's one of the means you can take. It's something you can freely choose depending on the scene, so it's not something to cling onto.

This is Perfectly Fine Actually, as is Utena wearing the boys uniform and having "masculine" interests. Every time we see Utena in girl's clothes in RGU it is when she's at her lowest point and being denied who she is.

The problem is not that they present outside of the gender binary/aren't attached to it, but that they idolize Unhealthy Ideals that Reinforce a hierarchy of power.

Anyways, as established with John, The Prince as a role is one built on having power over someone. By positioning yourself as someone's "savior" you hold power over them and, even if you don't want to, harm them as a result.

Kotoko has seen the world to be cruel and unfair and the systems in place to not be enough to keep law in order. She's frustrated by how powerless she is and acts to make the world "better."

Utena: You don't see Himemiya as anything but the Rose Bride either, do you? Touga: Is that wrong? Utena: It is wrong! Utena: Cut it out with that "Rose Bride" or "possession" nonsense.

(Task)

Kotoko: Yes. I hate evil. Hurting innocent people with violence, taking away from others, killing people… I hate all this evil behaviour! The law being unable to judge some sins, there's too many of these cases in this world. Having clearly bullied and torturing the weak, but exploiting loopholes in laws, there's so many sinners who still live in such a carefree manner!

It seems like Kotoko might have some unresolved and buried trauma here, as while Kotoko herself says she wasn't bullied. She also stated that when she was already the person she was now back when she was around Amane's age.

T1Q18: Have you ever been bullied in the past? A: No. Are people who've had such pasts the only ones who're allowed to hate evil?

20/6/18

Amane: I see…… You look scary at first impression, but I quite like the way you treat everyone equally regardless of whether they’re older or younger than you. You don’t just treat me like a child or anything like that. Kotoko: Treat you like a child? Hah, you’ve got to be kidding. Back when I was your age, I was already the person I am today.

1moremilgramfan's analysis on Kotoko's clothing in Harrow over here is a fantastic dissection of Kotoko's character design and this aspect of it in particular but my point is that Kotoko tries her best to look strong and powerful, even when she's in emotional distress. She must look strong and powerful and not Weak.

I wonder what that reminds me of.

Kotoko idealizes the idea of there being some quick and easy way to save the whole world. Even if it isn't her that does it in the end.

I've chosen the awaited hero

But for now, if the system in place can't do it then She Will. She will the dashing prince that saves the helpless princess. She'll be the savior of the weak.

Let’s end this! “HARROW” “HARROW” I can’t forgive the evil hurting the weak It’s unforgivable, I won’t allow it, I sweared

But as I said, by positioning yourself as someone's Prince you begin to hold power over them and it's easy to start dehumanizing them and putting your wants and ideals above what they want. Their safety is reliant on yours after all. They can't fight back if you do something that harms them.

Utena: That's right, I've got to protect Himemiya. Utena: If anyone can return her to being a normal girl, it's me. Utena: I can't let anyone else have her. Utena: Not even my own prince.

Kotoko: From the begin I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. Useless Weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!

And Kotoko seems to take a lot of joy and gratification in protecting people. She doesn't care as much about the victims as much as what she Gets Out of Saving them. Their wants are not as important as hers.

...Fufu... This feels so good.

Touga: While she was engaged to you, the Code required her to obey you. Utena: You're lying... Touga: The Rose Bride answered the wishes of her master. Touga: To make her an ordinary girl was merely what you wished.

By doing so, she perpetuates the cycle of violence she hated so much in the first place. You can see this in T2, by persecuting the guilty voters and physically harming them because she believes she's justified. Exerting power from them in a physical way and wanting to vote more people not forgiven so she can continue handing out righteous judgement.

Kotoko: I handed out retribution to the prisoners you chose to not forgive. Following MILGRAM’s system, I didn’t finish them off right away. You still need time to think, after all. …What’s with that face…? Aside from following your will, I’m deciding to leave the rest up to you. But… You’re too soft-hearted. I would have chosen to not forgive more prisoners. It’d be better if I were the prison guard… Well, just one thing is missing, I guess… I’ll stay put for now. I’ll wait until your next judgement is over, and then I’ll take action. Don’t worry, I’m on your side. Let’s bring judgement to the unforgivable evildoers.

These actions are harmful and dehumanizing, the victims are not people but a means to an end. It doesn't matter what Happens to them or even to Herself, as long as righteous judgement is brought upon those who "deserve it" for whatever reason she can come up with.

Kotoko idealized the idea of being a savior, and in the process, turned herself into a tool to harm.

Akio: I've taken enough risks to buy the power to change the world. Akio: That's how the world works-

"It's alright now. Please go on playing make-believe "Prince" in this comfortable little coffin forever."

Now, again you don't want to be the prince. as The Prince is an unachievable ideal that harms everyone and perpetuates cycles of violence.

However unlike the Rose Bride, the Prince Has More Power and Agency. Whoever is engaged to the Rose Bride has power over her. So, if your worldview can only perceive the roles of Prince and Princess, Savior and Victim, then of course you would want to be The Prince.

Let's talk Shidou Kirasaki.

Now, similar disclaimer to Amane's in the previous analysis. Since I've delving into the abuse the Prince perpetuates in a bit more detail. I am once again stating that while I Will Not discuss csa and sa in general here since we have no proof of Shidou doing that and for the sake of tact. However it will be Alluded to vaguely in the dialogue, especially since I'm focusing on the perpetrators of that abuse.

Once again, do what is good for your health and stay safe.

Now, unlike most of the princes in Utena, Shidou isn't doing this necessarily out of malice, he is not as bad as Akio Othori and I'm not going to pretend he is.

However even if his actions aren't necessarily done out of Malice it doesn't mean he doesn't benefit from it nor does it mean he doesn't harm anyone.

Now I talked a lot about Amane in my Rose Bride analysis but as I mentioned their, people are always constantly presenting themselves to Amane as "her prince," and are frustrated and upset when Amane shows that she can't be the victim they want her to be and Shidou is no exception to this.

22/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Amane: I warned you. I can no longer turn a blind eye to this wickedness taking place right in front of us. You’re bringing ruin unto yourself. Do you understand? Shidou: No, I don’t understand. It’s my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way.

In fact Shidou parallels her abusive parents a lot in his behavior by constantly ignoring and outright dismissing Amane's feelings and thoughts because he believes that Amane is "just a child."

20/06/13

Amane: ……*sigh*. Is that right. I don’t think I’m going to get along with you, Shidou-san. I don’t agree with the fact you refuse to acknowledge that I have my own free will, and that I should be held accountable for my actions, just because I’m a child. I may have only been alive for 12 years, but all the choices I’ve made, even if they weren’t the best ones, were entirely my own. What point is there in you getting sad when I have no regrets myself? ……please give me back my test. It seems you don’t have the concentration levels required to be my teacher. I’m going to get Kotoko-san to teach me instead. Shidou: Amane…… I don’t think that’s true. However smart you may be…… you’re still just a child.

Shidou doesn't see Amane as a person, he sees her as "child" and thus has less agency than Him. He's the one who should be making decisions for her because he's an adult. Whenever she reacts in a way he doesn't like he dismisses it, she's having one of the Worst Periods of Her Life right in front of him and he's dismissing it as just throwing a tantrum, something silly and childish.

Akio: A child like you can't appreciate my ideals.

This isn't the only person he does this to, as Es also experiences his belittling and patronizing way of treating children. (Molech)

Shidou: Ah, well… I was just thinking about how despite being a child, you’ve really done your research on this. Es: Hey. [footsteps] You trying to make fun of me, is that it? Shidou: What? Oh, no. I wasn’t trying to do anything like that. Es: You were. Something’s been on my mind ever since the very beginning… “Es, this. Es, that.” It’s the belittling way you refer to me… I’m the prison guard, you know that? Shidou: Oh, I’m completely aware of that. But, you’re still a child in actuality. Coming from me, who’s almost twice the age as you are, I just… Es: What is it? Shidou: For a child like you to be entrusted with this sort of role… My heart goes out to you.

In a way he's exerting power over the both of them through this, he's an adult, more responsible and powerful than the both of them. It's, frankly, dehumanizing.

If the Rose Bride is an object to be projected on, the Prince is the one doing the projecting.

And as explained in the Rose Bride post, coffins in Utena represent cycles and eternity and to grow you need to break out of it. Shidou is stuck in his own coffin, keeps on trying to return to a life that Doesn't Exist Anymore and when he's faced with that knowledge and the way he's harmed the people around him because of that he continues to spiral.

He wants to die but he can't do it himself so he pushes the responsibility onto someone he doesn't consider as a person.

Shidou: I feel sorry that you had to be given this role. And, I truly apologise for being so insistent about sentencing me to death as well… But, you’re perfect. You’ll give me the ending I’m most suited for.

He wants to make up for his mistakes as a parent and pushes that onto someone he can project onto, even though that person has made it very clear how unwelcome and even painful it is for him to do that.

Shidou: Yeah. I’ll do what I can. I can’t have a child making a face like that.

He wants to live but he can only live if someone else is in pain because that means he has a reason to continue existing.

But there are lives that need safeguarding So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable

Shidou has fully admitted that he thinks his crime is a selfish one, he did it for himself. No matter How or Why he killed, we know he didn't value the people he killed that much.

“Throw down”, someone’s value Cannot be the same as another

You're in my way, hurry up and die.

The value comes from what they give to him, and in the end, their death was much more valuable to him than their life.

"The One Who Will Revolutionize the World"

Frankly, it's kinda pathetic to be a Prince.

It's is a coffin that one can stay in forever if they don't do anything. Something that harms you and everyone else...mostly everyone else. It's a role that brings about stagnation and immaturity. You can never revolutionize the world by being a Prince, all your doing is just perpetuating a cycle of harm.

Maybe Kotoko and Shidou will stay in their coffins, who knows really with them. They don't seem particularly in a hurry to get out, they don't even seem to notice their trapped in the first place.

Mikoto though...well...John really does want to understand, and Mikoto really does want to know what's happening.

And maybe that's enough.

Anthy: But, you're a... Utena: I came here to meet you. Utena: So don't be afraid of this world where we'll meet. Utena: ...Himemiya...Himemiya...Himemiya! Utena: Himemiya! Anthy: Utena...sama...? Utena: Himemiya...we finally...meet.

END NOTES: I don't usually put these but since I plan to make this two part series one post minus the utena I might as well talk a bit.

I end this and the Rose Bride one so sappily but that's mostly cause I always need to remind myself after writing these that it's a Breakable Cycle. You write 2k+ words about characters being trapped in coffins and it Gets To You.

I'm so sorry to Fuuta for leaving him out of this...Mikoto and Kotoko kinda took your place...I know your literally a hero in your MV but I could not find a way to put you here without bloating it too much.

Funnily enough while the Rose Bride post had a lot to talk about The Prince is weirdly easy to summarize, the longest part here is when I talk about the themes of the Rose Bride and how that intersects with Mikoto. Though maybe that's just me. Another reason to write the compilation I guess.

I Swear there was more quotes about children and adults in Utena- I suppose it's a lot of its themes on adulthood are communicated visually and/or involve sex so like...yknow. Plus I'd have to explain the cars and it would take me all my effort to not put the Shiori car quote.

#milgram #shidou kirisaki #mikoto kayano #john kayano #kotoko yuzuriha #005 #009 #010 #cw sa implied #cw sexism #milgram meta #milgram analysis

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0oolookitsme · 1 year

Text

Flower Goes Floral

Type- Fake Insta ;)

Verse- Model!Harry x Fashion Designer!Y/n

Warnings- None, just fluff <3

Description- Harry at the Brits, wearing an iconic dress suit, styled by none other than his girlfriend, Y/n.

A/n- I want to post slightly regularly this year, and because I'm busy writing a few other fics which I'm yet to finish, here's a small fake ig for y'all. Hope you like it! <3

Liked by Masaba, AnthonyPham and others

Y/Ig/n Harry Styles (aka my partner), wearing a custom Gucci Black Peplum Blazer and an oversized flower blazer. Both were designed and styled by me, yours one and only.

View all 2,19,534 comments

HsFan1 I just KNOW that he was absolutely THRILLED to wear this

Masaba No lies I'd be smug too if I had designed this

↳Y/Ig/N There's no bigger fan of you than me. Thank you very much, this has altered my life.

HarryStyles Looking like a devil, aren't I?

↳HarryFan0 WHO PUT THAT IN HIS MIND ↳MitchRowland I beg your pardon, @HarryFan0. I had meant it as a joke.

Y/nFan1 Both of them ATE and left no crumbs.

Y/nFan2 Can we talk about how surreally she said 'aka my partner' in the brackets??

Liked by Zayn, TaylorFan1 and -others

HarryStyles Thank you for having me tonight, @/Brits. I had an amazing time wearing both of my outfits, styled by the icon, @Y/Ig/N.

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TaylorFan1 Alexa? Play Gorgeous by Taylor Swift.

Y/Ig/n Why, thank you, Darling.

ConanGray Please I'm ready to sell you my hair just collaborate with me too

↳Y/Ig/N What you want me to spoil the surprise, don't you? ↳ConanFan1 A Y/N AND CONAN COLLAB?!?!? WHY IS EVERYONE SLEEPING ON THIS OMFG I'M FREAKING OUT

KatyPerry Looking just like the charming man you always do

Y/nFan16 She really said watch my flower go floral

Liked by Lizzo, Adele and -others

Y/Ig/n Happy Valentine's Day, @HarryStyles. You truly are a devil in disguise.

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Lizzo *Heart-shaped eyes (towards the pizza)*

Y/nFan2 THEY MADE THAT CUP TOGETHER DO NO TELL ME OTHERWISE

Y/nFan5 lmaoo not her bashing him through his own comment

HarryStyles Happy Valentine's Day, lover

Y/nFan11 I love them sm it hurts ...but in like- a cool way ;)

Liked by NiallHoran, TaylorSwift and -others

HarryStyles I have no idea what I would wear without you, @Y/Ig/n (and your lovely team too). Thank you for agreeing to go out for a glass of wine with me on that already industrious and bustling day. And oh, Happy Valentine's Day.

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Y/nforeva This woman never rests, does she?

GemmaStyles Exactly. Thank you for agreeing, @Y/Ig/N

Y/Ig/n Literally one of the best nights in my life.

↳HarryStyles I agree ;)

JamesCordon You two are disgustingly in love

Liked by HarryFan02, Y/nforeva and -others

HarryY/nAlways Happy Valentine's Day to THE BEST COUPLE in the whole industry. (Y/n uploaded these on her ig stories with the caption 'Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips.' Exactly. A Hozier song. Goodbye.)

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Y/nFan3 She IS goofy, she just doesn't show that side of hers on the camera that often.

Anne Best Duo!

Y/nFan5 No way is gonna have a vase big enough to fit all those roses in but then again, she's THE @Y/Ig/N

HarryFan1 He is SO Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!!!!

YourMum These two never fail to make me smile. Just imagine the sunburn on their cheeks because they are so careless and in love.

↳Y/nforeva Y/n's mum literally loves them so much, it's ADORABLE

#harry styles #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles fake instagram #harry styles instagram concept #harry styles instagram blurb #harry styles fake social media #harry styles social media au #harry styles instagram au #social media au #fake instagram #instagram au #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfiction #model!harry #harry's house #valentine's day

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ecoamerica · 24 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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drefear · 10 months

Text

Escapism

A whirlwind of celebrity flashed before my eyes as I stepped out of the limousine, black stilettos so high that it made me wobble as I tried to haul out the heavy fabric of the designer gown I was gifted to wear and show off tonight. My hands pulled at the black fabric and pulled it up, readying myself to walk as cameras flashed at me in anticipation of what I was about to do and who I was going to be walking with.

The red carpet below me made me feel a bit uneasy as I stepped and posed for the photos being taken, a hand reaching around my back as I glanced at who was next to me and it made my breath shake. My ex-boyfriend, as of 24 hours ago, was standing by my side and smiling at the photographers who would no doubt be putting our photos in the magazines tomorrow and telling the world how amazing and beautiful of a couple we were.

It made my stomach drop, my blood freeze, and I ripped my hand away from his as he reached out to hold mine. Pushing him backwards into the vehicle behind me, I walked forward and up the stairs. This night would be mine, and I’d enjoy it no matter what.

Sleazin' and teasin', I'm sittin' on him

All of my diamonds are drippin' on him

I met him at the bar, it was 12 or somethin'

I ordered two more wines, 'cause tonight, I want him

My body moved with grace, power, at my obvious show of anger and upset towards the man I spent years of my life with. I spun and adjusted the expensive and over-dramatic fashion on my body, touching the black gown skirt and walking up the steps of the event, a hand was coming into view only a few inches away from my face. My eyes found clear blue ones and black hair framing the pale skin of the infamous man reaching for me and as my heart skipped a beat, my hand flew into his as if made to do so.

A little context if you care to listen

I find myself in a shit position

The man that I love sat me down last night

And he told me that it's over, dumb decision

My mind automatically flashed to much dirtier things, actions that would get us both removed from the event and undeniably on the cover of any gossip article the next day. The profound image of him holding my body, naked and sweating, kissing my body, wouldn’t stop infecting my mind over and over as he assisted me up the stairs and smiled at me. The night sky shone over the roof as we entered the building and I refused to look away, ignoring the flashing and yelling for my attention.

And I don't wanna feel how my heart is rippin'

In fact, I don't wanna feel, so I stick to sippin'

And I'm out on the town with a simple mission

In my little black dress, and this shit is sittin'

I felt him watch me as I flirted with this new model of a man, who not only was absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous, but had a voice of smooth molten lava flooding my body with every word.

Just a heart broke bitch, high heels, six inch

In the back of the nightclub, sippin' champagne

I don't trust any of these bitches I'm with

In the back of the taxi, sniffin' cocaine

Drunk calls, drunk texts, drunk tears, drunk sex

I was lookin' for a man who was on the same page

Now it's back to the intro, back to the bar

To the Bentley, to the hotel, to my old ways

I felt his hand slip to my lower back as I stood at the bar of the event, the gorgeous stranger holding me close as I felt my ex’s eyes burning into the back of my head. The warmth of his body almost touching mine was distracting enough to forget what even asked me, watching his lips move with grace as I looked up at him through thick lashes. He leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “Save those seductive looks for later, when I take you home.” My legs tensed a bit as my tongue fell heavy and my mouth opened without a sound.

'Cause I don't wanna feel how I did last night

I don't wanna feel how I did last night

Doctor, doctor, anything, please

Doctor, doctor, have mercy on me, take this pain away

You're asking me my symptoms, doctor, I don't wanna feel

Our lips connected without hesitation as he had me against a wall in the nightclub, a corner near the bathrooms as we stepped away to talk easier. His hands roamed my body a bit before hoisting my thigh around his waist. His hand pulled me as he separated his body from mine and touched his tongue to his lip, staring over me as he stepped backwards towards the glowing red exit sign above the dark, metal fire door. His blue eyes made my head spin, or maybe it was the wine, but I followed like a lost puppy trailing a delicious new smell. My heart swelled as I saw a limousine waiting for us as he opened the door and helped me stagger into the low, long car.

Out of reach, out of touch, too numb, I don't feel no way

Toast up, so what? Street small, but it go both ways

So you'll run, yeah, but you'll never escape

Sunset in the maze (you're asking me my symptoms, doctor, I don't wanna feel)

His hands covered me all over as I gasped, already half undressed as he popped a bottle of champagne and poured a glass. The flashing lights of the city pass us by as he kisses down my chest, then sipping the flute and dripping some onto my bare breasts. The cold sensation catches me by surprise as the night continues to get hotter than I’d expected. My thoughts become tangled into a knot and stop all at once when he settles within me and takes my breath away. Nothing could have prepared me for this moment as he rocks our bodies together in the back of this limo.

I don't wanna feel how I did last night

I don't wanna feel how I did last night, oh

Doctor, doctor, anything, please

Doctor, doctor, have mercy on me

You're asking me my symptoms, doctor, I don't wanna feel

Fixing my clothing, he pulls my hand with a smile on his face out of the vehicle once we stop, inviting me up to his apartment. The large, expensive looking building stuns me for a moment before I pull through and shuffle to catch up with him. The journey from the lobby to his bedroom is a blur as he releases me from my expensive prison and kisses my throat as I lay naked in his silky sheets. His eyes travel over my body like a man lost in the desert, looking for a mirage of his perfect paradise. My eyes close as I feel him on top of me and the enjoyment continues as he eats me alive until I can’t help but haunt his halls with screams of pleasure. The fullness he creates inside of me makes me high, with no regard for any other person in the entire city. Finishing is a melody that burns itself into my memory as I watch his face change from imminent release to relaxation in seconds. His caring of my body and holding of my hand makes me awake with realization and I feel around for my purse, checking the time. His face goes to a sudden awareness and I look up, waiting for him to speak. “Forgive me, I guess I skipped a few steps in the courting process.”

Mm, lipstick smudged like modern art

I don't know where the fuck I am or who's drivin' the fuckin' car

Speedin' down the highway, sippin'

Mixin' pills with the liquor 'cah fuck these feelings

I left everyone I love on read (uh-huh)

Spilling secrets to the stranger in my bed (uh-huh)

I remember nothing, so there's nothing to regret (uh-huh)

Other than this 4-4 kick drum poundin' in my head

“My name is Loki.” And my brain ends the night there, forgetting everything from the fifth glass of wine until I woke up, which becomes something I appreciate as I gather my things and exit the apartment the next morning, without a single glance behind me and a single memory of sleeping with another world’s Prince of Mischief and Lies. For the better.

#loki #loki smut #loki of asgard #loki x reader #loki fluff #loki angst #marvel loki #marvel #escapism #music story #music fanfic #drefear playlist

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dietmountaindewbae · 1 year

Text

vi. stitches

alex turner x reader

word count: 4186

summary: Alex (humbug) gets in a fight, he pays you a visit seeking your help.

warnings: blood, pain k!nk, bdsm.

song recommendation: stitches by orgy

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*⋆

New York Fashion Week was coming up soon, you couldn't sleep well for the past few days you were working non-stop on the designs that you'd been perfecting since your year in college began, you were scared that they would be a total disaster but your teacher the one that convinced you to help her design the dresses promised you that you wouldn't disappoint her ever, she had noticed your desire for revolution in the industry of fashion, edgy and kinky, but yet an innocent exterior, the best designer pushed the boundaries of what's acceptable and they take risky chances she had told you, a leap of fate.

The night was calm, only a record of Cocteau Twins played on your computer, you were almost falling asleep in your sketches until two hard and loud knocks in your window woke you up, you jumped like a scared cat, and you glanced at your window.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" You whisper-shouted.

"Uhm... surprising you?" He slurred, "Now, can you open the window please?" You noticed his black eye and bloody nose, and with no doubt, you opened the small window in your room and let him in, he fell on the small couch you had in your room.

"What the fuck happened to you?" There was blood coming out of the cracks of his forehead, "Alex, tell me who did this to you?" You quickly grabbed the first aid kit from your bathroom and rushed over to your room, beginning to clean his wombs.

"Some junkie" He groaned when you pressed down in the wound, "Fuckin' hell be more careful!"

"Well I'm not a fucking doctor, aren't I?!" You spat back, "Now be quiet before my neighbor hears us" You cleaned out the blood from his nose and threw away the tissue, at least he didn't break it this time but if he kept being such a dickhead with you, the odds of getting it were high.

"Is not like we're shagging or anything" God, how drunk was he? you could smell all the whiskey he had, he was utterly shitfaced, you raised his chin to check what other places he had more bruises, his nose was bleeding too, and he had a bruise on the right side of his face just below his jaw, you put your knee in between his legs you could reach deeper into his nose trail, he pulled you closer to him grabbing your hips, you exhaled loudly, "I can't believe you still wear your cross necklace after all of the things you and I did, remember?" He let out a deep chuckle, you were done with his attitude, and you grabbed him by the neck so he could look at you, "Still have trouble sleeping, love?" He said, choking up.

"Listen, if you keep this shit going I swear that I'm going to fuck you up, and even worse than that junkie, so either you shut the fuck up or I'll quick you out"

"Make me" He answered back with a cocky grin, you furred your eyebrows, this time you were done.

"That's it-" He pulled you in to sit on his lap and began to apologize over and over again.

"I'm sorry, alright? I'll stop" He said with honesty, "I don't know what's wrong with me, I know I'm not like this"

"You gotta stop drinking Alex, I'm serious" You understood why he was mad, almost half a year ago his heart got shattered, and since then he lost himself, bottled up his emotins and drank them until the bottle was empty, he kept this attitude for a long time, he began to change a lot and in the way, he stumbled across you, you knew he wanted to change and that's what you helped him to do, he let his hair grow out from that coconut hair cut you called, and let it grow out a bit more, he began to dress in leather jackets, and black boots, and a bit less tight jeans, he looked incredible, but he didn't feel that way, he had a fall out after you, even though he broke things off, he still wanted to get involved with you, and you tried to stay calm and take care of him no matter what he did, but he kept drinking and dissapering for days, you knew it wasn't like him, and it wasn't your intention to break his heart after he tried to come back with you weeks after the break up, but you didn't want to be with him, not until he got better, but you kept helping him whenever he came back to you when he was drunk, you couldn't deny him ever, and truth was he helped you out in so many ways, but in the times he wasn't there you had time to think, this relationship that you had with Alex wasn't going to end up well, or not until you knew what he wanted, it was you or the booze.

He was like a dog, that scratched your door whenever he was lost, "It's not that easy to do when the only thing that makes me feel good is whiskey"

"Did I ever make you feel good Al?" You questioned.

"What do you mean?" He said, "Of course you did, but you rejected me"

"Because you couldn't stop drinking, and you were gone for days, do you know how it feels to not be able to sleep because you weren't there? I didn't want to repeat that"

"I'm sorry" He repeated.

"I know you're fucking sorry, you said sorry so many times, but you never do anything about it" You felt your eyes begin to water, but you tried to stop them from crying, he grabbed your hands and hold on to them.

"I felt so scared to lose you, I didn't know what else to do" He confessed, "And I tried to find a way to fix things, I didn't want to keep hurting you because I loved you and I still do... I'm so lost without you" He was disorientated, so he fell on that bar stool again, trying to figure out why he always had to fuck everything up, he didn't do it, it was the effect of the alcohol that had him like this, he wasn't conscious of what he was doing, and if he was gone he dropped by Matt's he was like his brother, he opened the doors of his house to cuddle him in, but Matt was the reasonable one, he made Alex realize how much did he fucked things up, even if it was rough to him, since that moment Alex tried to get you back, but when you said no, he fell again into that black hole.

"So what's it gonna be then, me or the drinking?" You were giving him another chance, one last ultimatum, and he knew he wouldn't waste it for anything in this world, and this time he was going to do things right, he pulled you by the hair and kissed you needily, he deepened the kiss, he missed terribly the taste of your kisses, the feeling of your soft lips, he felt all of his wounds stitch-up, you wanted more each time he kissed you back, your heart was beating so fast you could hear it in your ears, you got up from the couch and walked back to your bed, he was fast to take off your hoodie and your panties, but what he liked the most is what was under it, he reached for your hands and pinned them together on your back, he momentarily tied them up with his belt, he had something bigger in mind.

"Mind if I use these" He grabbed a piece of long white fabric.

"Yeah, I wasn't going to use it anyway"

"Well, now we're going to use it" He ripped them into three pieces, "I'm gonna make you feel so good," You began to wonder what was going up in that clever mind of his, and the answer was satisfaction.

"What are you up to Turner?" You sat on your legs, already dazed, and soaking for him, he never looked at you with those eyes, penetrating your skull, you could almost imagine all the possibilities.

"You'll just have to wait for me a little longer" He moved your mirror, aiming it at your bed, he walked towards you grabbing your arm, and walking you to the mirror, you wanted to kiss him very badly, but he grabbed your wrists and pulled you against his chest, his hand ran from your collarbone down to your chest, he kneaded them roughly. In contrast, he kissed that spot he knew will send you away, and your legs began to feel weak, at that moment he had a better idea in his head, he pulled up the chair that you were sitting on a few minutes ago putting it in front of the mirror, you sat obediently, he didn't ask but you knew you had to, "Spread your legs" You opened them as far as you could.

He let you free, took out the belt, and replaced it with the white fabric, he began to tease you with the leather of his belt folding it in half, it was cold against your skin, and the next thing you know he hit your inner thigh with it, instead of you complaining you moaned, you followed him with your eyes and he switched to the other side smacking it as hard as the same time, you couldn't handle it any longer, you tried to untie yourself and reach down to rub your clit but he smacked your hand away.

"Unsatisfied little girl?" He ran the belt thru your collarbone, "You want more?"

"Yes," You whispered, "I want more, Alex" You knew his games, you knew that calling him Alex when he was like this, he felt he had power over you, and you liked it, you liked feeling the leather against your skin whenever he hit it, his hand reached to your neck, he kissed your lips teasingly.

"I want you to keep looking at the mirror the whole time, alright?" You nodded, "It's a yes or no question, not a nod, I want to hear it"

"Yes, Alex" He smiled and pecked your lips once more, his finger went down to your sensitive area that was throbbing for him to touch, you saw how his fingers went in and out of you first, how his thumb rubbed your clit in circles making your legs shake, moans fell out of your mouth each getting louder, you saw in your eyes how you were pleased and needy for more, each time he went deeper inside you, he went faster and slowed down when he felt you were getting wetter, "You're fucking crazy"

"About you" He went faster, and you saw the veins in his hand that made you go insane, "And you're crazy for me too" He stated, his voice raspy and deep but yet sweet, his fingers reached deeper inside you hitting that spot that made you cry out his name, but when he took them out you complained, you saw his finger covered in your wetness and he tasted them, humming at your taste, he pushed the chair back allowing to get in between your legs, "Babe, this time I want you to look at me for a moment," He said sweetly, he smiled a strand of hair that fell, he rolled it behind your ear, "Remember the letter I gave you?"

"Of course," You smiled at the thought, "I framed it" He glanced at the frame that was right next to a figure of Mother Mary.

"I meant every single word in that letter, My mouth hasn't shut up since you kissed it, the idea that you may kiss it again is stuck in my brain" He determined, "And I will always choose you,"

"I promise to help you when you need it the most, I love you," You said with despair, "I love you so much, the days I wasn't with you I felt how my heart shuttered, but when I'm with you it blooms" He cupped your cheeks kissing you tenderly, and lovingly, it was unlike any kiss you shared, "Promise me these kisses you've given me will be like this every day"

"I promise" You felt relieved, you didn't have to worry about him anymore, he promised to stay with you, it was like you could breathe after a long time of feeling sick, you felt cured, "Now where were we" He smirked, he kissed your inner thigh getting down on his knees and put your legs over his shoulders, you looked in the mirror, saw your nipples hard, and your skin filled with goosebumps, his hair made you feel tickles, you wanted to touch it, pull it and run your fingers across it, but it was almost impossible, he parted his lips and gathered up spit to lather you up, it was hot against you, his tongue went in circles on your clit and he spread his spit to blow some cool air on you, you gasped and arched your back throwing your head back.

"I can't wait to feel you inside me, fucking me so good" Your words were torturing him now, but they turned you on as you looked at yourself in the mirror, hot and tight for him, your eyes were dark, filled with lust and tearing up from the pleasure.

"You love looking at yourself like this, don't you?" You were the one who ended up fucked up, but you were glad you did, you needed it... you needed him, "You get so fucking wet for me, dirty little fuck"

"I want you so hard Alex, fuck me... fuck me everywhere" You cried out, in his mind, a plan was beginning, he took your legs off his shoulders and got you up, your legs around his torso he bend you over on your wooden desk, cheek pressed against the rough area, you heard the zipper of his jeans open but he went to move the mirror, he wanted you to watch everything he did to you.

"I want you to look at me thru that mirror, I want you to see how I fuck you, how you come in my cock, how I moan your name, how you moan mine" Giving you a hard smack in your ass, and grabbing it possessively, he slipped inside you and your eyes rolled back, you gasped each time he pushed himself inside you, felt yourself self spiraling down a hole, he made a mess of yourself you could see it so clearly, and you saw him enjoying every part of your body, his eyes were focused on the mirror and then they looked thru you with a smudge smile that made you feel wanted, his lips were parted making obscene deep noises, he pushed himself deeper your mouth fell wide open, your walls getting tighter, then he pulled you forward, you could see your reflection, his lips attached to your neck as if he was a vampire sucking your blood, you were speechless you wanted to say something but you couldn't he was fucking you so good all you could do was whine, scream and moan.

When he had enough of the table, he dragged you to your window you could see your reflection, your eyes shut Alex making you his, the sound of your skin colliding against his, his fingers traveling down to your heat circling, pressing it down, "Alex, what are you gonna do with does pieces left, huh?" You breathed out.

"First you're gonna cum for me, and then you'll see" He covered your mouth with his hand, and kept going harder surely living your ass red but you liked it, you liked seeing the after results from the hard sex he was giving to you, you had never felt so hot, he made you feel ways no man could ever make you feel, you knew you could die for him, it was so easy to fall into his arms, he comforted you, and he made you feel better than ever, he buried himself inside you reaching and pushing that button that made your legs shake uncontrollably, your covered his dick in your cum, just like he wanted, for a moment you thought you were done, he untied your hands and you fell forward gripping the frame of your window, trying to catch your breath, "I think that's enough for you" He pulled out of you, you sat in your window frame, still trying to compose yourself.

"No...n-no, I can... handle more" He looked at you, he was still fully dressed with his eyebrows frowned.

"Really?" He walked closer to you, and you said yes with no hesitation, "Beg for it" Getting on your knees you cupped his hands and ran them over your body, you took his hand down to your heat, even if it was sensitive you craved for more, you took his pulsing cock inside your mouth, he groaned pulling your hair so you could look at him in the eye, you were begging with them, hopeless but he stands firm trying to not let you get to him but he pushed your head making you gag around him and then let your head free.

Your tongue brushed the tip, and went in slow circles just to build him up, "Pretty please baby?" You asked sweetly, he smiled at you and brought you up kissing you passionately, you felt relieved, he laid you down in bed taking the remaining pieces of fabric and your wrist, he tied it to the corner of your bed and did the same to the other one, lastly, he sat on top of you.

"Be good to me" He said.

"Always" You answered, he covered your eyes the fabric was a bit transparent allowing you to see a bit but not too much, your room was pitch black except for the natural light of the moon that gave you some clarity, you felt his soft hands caressing your bruised warm skin, he quickly took his jeans and boxers in one drag, you heard the sound of the denim hit the floor, you wanted to rip his shirt off but you were helpless, he threw his shirt away you couldn't see it but you felt the need to run your hands over his chest, you could imagine his body a picture that you could easily draw with your eyes closed, he put his hands on either side of your head, you kissed his wrist and smiled, he took you by surprise when he opened your legs as far as you could, he aimed himself at your entrance and thrust his hips forward, he lifted your lower body grabbing your waist roughly and he got on his knees, you felt him deep inside you, writhing his cock as best as you could because he felt so good but you stopped as you had to be patient and keep your promise, even if it was hard to stop yourself but you didn't want him to stop.

He pushed his hips back and slammed his cock inside you, you moaned trying to unleash yourself but it was helpless you felt your skin fill with shivers, trying to concentrate on the pleasure and not the struggle, he sent you flying when he hit that spot once more, you felt how your cum was dripping down to your leg, you felt so sensitive feeling him so deep, stroking your walls it was just a few thrust until he made you cum again, you also felt him close but he changed the position, your legs up together, and he kept fucking you senseless, "You're a dirty cunt, coming all over me cock, I'm gonna cum all over your face" You groaned when he speeded up, going faster each time he pushed his dick inside you, tears rolling down your cheek.

"Please come all over me, I wanna taste you" Even if you were tired you felt it again, forming in the pit of your stomach, but this time every time he thrust you could picture vividly your skin against his it made you feel so turned on you couldn't handle it anymore, Alex was in awe, impressed by how loud were your moans and the praises of his name, that filed his pride he rubbed your clit in circles, and you came in hot on the bed, you cried out and yelled, he slowly pulled out of you and took your blindfold off, "Alex?" He was impressed, with what you did but you didn't know what just happened.

"I love you so fucking much," He said with a chuckle, "Fuck babe" He ran his hands thru his messy hair, "You made a mess"

"I'm sorry I couldn't... I didn't..."

He covered your mouth, and you were drowned in embarrassment, "It's ok... more than ok! That's the hottest thing I've ever seen you do or like the second I don't fucking know, let's make a mess..." He stared at your eyes which were almost as wild as your hair, "Lioness"

"Fuck off"

"Bet you don't want that" He pulled your blindfold down covering your eyes again, he put his leg in between yours, propping his cock inside you, and put your other leg on his shoulder for leverage, pounding his cock inside you, he felt himself closer but he wanted more from you, "I want you to come again, do that for me doll" You were gasping for air, he was being so rough, but you loved it, there were so many emotions that you were feeling, you didn't know if you could handle more, yet you wanted to feel it all at once like a wave.

"Alex, I-I...can't" He licked his thumb and rubbed your clit in hard circles, pressing it down, you grasped the leashes feeling it again, you couldn't compose yourself anymore, he kept pounding your cunt slow but deep, you were fueled with satisfaction, he could see it.

"I know you can do it, relax babe" He slowed down, and his thrusts began to slow down but still reached to press those buttons one last time, you gasped for air, feeling your heart speed up and slow down, you were dizzy the waves of pleasure washed over you, your mind clouded with lust, he quickly pulled out of you, taking your blindfold off now it was your time to help him, you took him in your mouth once more, he grabbed the bed frame while he pushed his hips to fuck your mouth, you gagged and gasped until he came in your mouth, he didn't even have to ask for you to swallow, "Good girl" He untied your wrists, you felt your whole body trembling, and even that didn't stop you from fetching your sketchbook.

"Thought that you were tired, babe" He cupped your cheek and kissed it.

"Fashion never sleeps"

"But you and I do" It's true, but he gave you inspiration for another piece, never the less he grabbed your book and took it away from you, "You have to sleep, darlin'"

You frowned, you knew he was right, "I know but I have this idea on my head I have to draw it, it's gonna be quick, I swear" He handed it over to you, and he laid down your chest and saw you draw the new piece, you had the idea of a skirt and a shirt that had ripped pieces of white fabric, maybe the top could be a long sleeve that reached to the hand, maybe it could go with boots, but you could figure that out later, when you finished you smiled at it, Alex loved to see how you carefully drew every last detail, you were patient and that was what he loved about you the most.

"Brilliant" He took a closer look, he knew how special you were, "Are you sure these are sketches?" You answered with a chuckle, he flipped thru the pages until he ran across a drawing, it was the profile of a man with long hair, he flipped to the next page and saw a full drawing of his face, you had a vivid picture of him, of his defined jaw, and nose, his big brown eyes, his bushy eyebrows, and his thin and broken lips that you yearned to kiss, he didn't have words.

"You like it?" You asked, you didn't like how quiet he was for the first time.

"I fuckin' love it... you made me look good for the first time" You groaned, and rolled your eyes.

"Don't be like that Alex, you always look good"

"Now it's me turn to draw you" He sat like a little boy with a big smile, and he began to draw your eyes.

"Make me look pretty"

"You're not pretty, darlin'" Your eyebrows pushed together, "You're gorgeous"

A/N:

Hope you didn't think I would actually write smut to a Shawn Mendez song, and I also hope that you listen to the song it's very moody. love u <3, i hope you enjoyed this chapter, and the intensity wasn’t too much for you, anyways let me know if you would like more chapters like this.

#alex turner smut #alexturnesimages #alexturneroneshots #alex turner #arctic monkeys one shots #arctic monkeys #matt helders #humbug #2009 alex #humbug alex

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twistedgardens · 2 years

Note

Hello:)

Can I request giving Vil his first blowjob before a fashion show he will be modeling for?

Thank you for the request, friend!

Since it doesn't specify whether Reader is male or female, I'll default to GN Reader (to the best of my abilities; anyone is free to correct me if I get something wrong).

Vil Shoenheit x GN!Reader

Content: suggestive/sexual language, praise kink, blowjob, semi-public, non-con drugging (someone tried to sabotage him), facefucking, cum swallowing (mostly)

🔞NSFW Content Below! 18+ Only! Minors DNI!🔞

The music blasting from the catwalk pulsed through the walls and deep into your bones. You narrowly dodged models and security guards to get to Vil's dressing room in time. A cryptic text from his cell brought you from the audience waiting for the fashion show to start to backstage with nothing more than a guest pass dangling from your neck. And, of course, Vil has his own dressing room, albeit a small one but it was the only one his manager could get it on short notice. You used a rack of clothes to hide your tracks as you searched for it. Backstage was chaos with people bustling to and fro. Those who weren't getting their hair and makeup done, were switching out clothes. The show was about to start by your calculations, so why did Vil need you all of a sudden.

You ditched the clothes rack just as you found his dressing room not a moment too soon. It was emblazoned with a purple star with Vil's name written in glittery gold lettering. You rapped on the door lightly. There was a shuffle behind the door and before you could try and knock again, it burst open. A strong hand grabbed your wrist and yanked you inside. Vil slammed the door closed behind you and clicked the lock into place. His arms pinned you against the door.

"Vil, what's wrong? Why'd you say you needed me? Is everything okay? Did someone put the wrong lotion on your dressing room table?"

Vil was such a diva. You loved him, you really did, but sometimes his antics could prove too much. His face and hair were perfectly well done. He wore the first set the designer made just for him in black and purple silk. Vil's brows pinched close together, he panted for breath, and he blinked in rapid succession. You reached up to cradle his face between your hands when Vil grabbed your wrist yet again. Beads of sweat threatened to ruin his makeup.

"Vil. Tell me what's wrong. How can I help you if I don't know what's going on? You don't look well. Please."

"S-Someone put something in my water bottle. A potion...I think..."

"Oh my god," you said, horrified. "Are you going to be sick?"

"It's not...it's not that. L-Look down at my pants," Vil murmured.

You obediently looked down. A prominent bulge pitched a tent in the couture silk pants. When you looked back up at Vil's face, his cheeks burned bright red and chewed on his lower lip, smearing his perfect lipstick.

"I see, I see. Do you...want me to fetch security and find the culprit?" You asked.

Vil shook his head.

"Then what do you want me to do? How can I help?"

Vil pushed you firmly against the door and pinned your wrist next to your head. The music just beyond grew louder; the show was starting. He leaned his face towards you.

In a husky whisper, Vil said, "We have t-twenty minutes to take care of this before I...I have to go on. I'm not...I'm not getting security and potentially halting the show to find some prankster. The potion's effects will last...at least until the end of the show. So I need you...to help me get rid of this." He ground his hard cock against your stomach.

"But you're wearing the couture! You can't ruin it then go on the catwalk!"

"Do you have any other ideas?"

You glanced beyond Vil's shoulder. The dressing room was small and contained very few furnishings besides the vanity. However, there was a leather couch. You managed to wriggle your hand free to take Vil's. You guided him over to the couch and pushed him down to have a seat. Sinking down to your knees, your hands fumbled with the closures of his pants. Vil had to lift his hips off the couch and help you pull them down to his knees.

"I admit...I didn't think about this as an option," Vil chuckled as you moved his cock out of his silk boxers. "I don't think I've ever asked you to blow me."

"You haven't. Have you asked anyone else to do it?"

"Darling, with me schedule?" Vil quirked a perfectly manicured brow at you.

His cock was hard as steel. It twitched under your touch as you stroked him, which made Vil hiss. Not wanting to waste more time, you licked the tip and wrapped your lips around his cock. You weren't exactly a pro either, but you'd seen enough porn out of curiosity to guess what Vil might like. You took the tip into your mouth and suckled on his cockhead. What you didn't have in your mouth was stroked by your hand.

"Good...so good. Keep going. Your mouth feels so good, darling," Vil groaned, head resting against the back of couch.

You relaxed your throat and prepared to take him further. Vil patted the top of your head as you bobbed up and down on his cock. You flattened your tongue to make more room for him and to flick at the vein running underside him.

"W-Where did you learn how to suck cock? Fuck, fuck, yes. Can you take more? I bet you can. You're already so talented."

Butterflies swarmed your stomach at Vil's high praise. Heat rested in your lower belly. You wanted to touch yourself so badly, but Vil's condition was more important. Later, you promised yourself, you'd make him return the favor later.

"More, please, more. I need more of your mouth on my cock. Please."

You almost stopped. Vil never begged for anything. He fanned himself with his hand as he looked down on you sitting on your knees before him. You opened your mouth a little more and swallowed another inch. The tip of his cock very nearly reached the back of your throat. You suppressed a gag and sucked in your cheeks. When you couldn't do that indefinitely, you released his cock. Vil whined at the loss of your mouth, only to stifle a moan that would've alerted anyone beyond his dressing room door. You wouldn't leave him hanging for long, not when you could tell how close he was. You spat on his cock, heaping globs of spit on him, and stroked him fast and hard, giving your sore jaws time to rest before sinking back down on him.

You listened to Vil's moans to further discover what he liked when it came (pun not intended) to receiving head. He seemed to like eye contact best of all. His hand gripped the sides of your head and bucked his hips against your face.

"S-Sorry but we're starting to...run out of time and I'm so close. Let me...take control for a while. Your mouth just feels so good. Just like the rest of you. Warm, wet, tight."

Vil's legs trembled as he got to feet and thrust into your mouth. You leaned back for balance. You clawed at the floor at the pleasure of Vil using your mouth as he saw fit. Pre-cum and spit pooled on your chin and dripped to splatter on your shirt. You moaned around Vil's cock fucking the back of your throat. When he could take no more, Vil pushed your face to his crotch. You gagged, sputtering around him as bitter and salty cum ran down your tongue and throat. You were forced to swallow, but enjoyed it despite the circumstances.

"Mr. Shoenheit, you're on in five!" Shouted a stage hand.

"T-Thank you!" Vil peered down at you while easing your head back. "You did beautifully. I needed that so bad. And you didn't even spill a drop. After the show, I promise, I'll make it up to you. I'm going to spoil you rotten."

Vil hurriedly fixed his clothes and left you clean yourself up. You'd wait there for him to find you again. You didn't want anyone to see the globs of cum still on your shirt. So much for not spilling a drop.

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breserker · 4 months

Text

The Rest of IWRY p.1 - Chapters 19 and 20

So hey, some background and context; I'm the original author of IWRY I just swapped accounts due to some pretty hefty baggage associated with the last account in no small part because of IWRY - nothing so dramatic as a scandal so much as I deeply injured myself emotionally and physically working on IWRY, and have a chronically deconditioned wrist now. Emotionally I was severed from my art in a severe burnout fashion especially when I couldn't get those emotions out thanks to the injury even when i wanted to do art--which was never.

So that's why it was originally dropped. I've decided to share what I've written and the rest of my notes, maybe some scraps of illustrations that made it through. I initially wanted to just dump it in one post but there's a lot! and a lot I want to say, so here's how this is gonna work: In this post there'll be the entirety of chapter 19 AND chapter 20 (also unillustrated. my pic notes are actually terrible because I always worked in close proximity to them I always figured I knew what I was saying arrrrgh). I'll dig up what I can find of chapter 19's art. Next part will be chapter 21's beginning and from there it'll be sharing scraps of notes and outlines, plans, and commentary.

If you've stuck around or remember me in any way, thank you. My relationship to art has healed after a lot of recontextualizing and being kinder to myself than I was before. You can (obviously) find me here, and my current project is a book series. First book is out here, but please be warned it is definitively an adult series. Still messy and dionysian though, of course.

Okay, without further ado:

design concepts for chapter 19's cover:

scattered early illustrations (i was rereading archie sonic at the time you'll have to forgive me the echidna oc)

Chapter 19: Prince of a Failing Empire

What...

[pic – hands....are clean?]

What in the world...what the—

[pic – mirror mirror on the wall who's the most SCARLESS of them all]

What the fuck?? What the...fuck...

[pic – touch the blank spot on your face]

“Good morning, champ!” Odd cheered as he entered the bathroom, towel slung over his shoulder. I gaped at him, “Today's the big day!”

“Wh...wh...,” work, mouth, work, speak, “What?”

Odd's laughter filled the bathroom to the groans of the other, still-sleepy boys, “Don't tell me you forgot! Are you kidding me?”

My hand slipped on the edge of the sink and my stomach turned inwards. Odd seemed nonplussed and started to whistle. I heard the showers going but there wasn't the rest of the buzz that usually comes with the morning rush to get ready for school.

“O-Odd...,” I murmured, “What's...wrong with me?”

He turned and cocked his head, “Apparently a lot, if you forgot! Humph, grumpy-pants, I'll let you figure it out for yourself. At least it'll be a nice surprise!”

“N-No I mean...,”

I looked back to the mirror. Smooth. Scarless skin.

“My face...,”

“Uh, what about it? Got a zit? Haha!”

I stared hard.

“...Nevermind.”

Odd didn't seem to notice and he was gone. I got dressed and walked outside. Simple, plain, normal movements. People didn't seem to look at me one way or the other. Rather, they did, but only because I was the one looking at them in a weird way, not the other way around. I shivered. It felt like a horror movie, but it was so normal, was normal supposed to feel like this?

“Hey,”

I nearly jumped out of my skin, spinning on my heel to see her there. Her. Yumi. Her jacket seemed bigger than normal, or maybe she just looked...softer in it. Still there were studs on her shoulders that shone in the mid-morning light. She looked nervous, occasionally biting her lip. I noticed then that she had firmly stuck her fingers into the joint of her elbows, keeping herself from gnawing on her thumbs as she usually did when she was anxious. Hence lip-biting. Win some, lose some. My face fell, and I tried to sneer at her, like I usually did, but the sneer wouldn't come. It couldn't come. All I could feel was an awkward smile on my lips which made my heart beat faster.

“Uh,” I grunted. Yumi smirked, still shy. Why was she like this?

“I missed you.”

Oh god, oh god not one of these, not again, not this—

“I missed you, Ulrich.”

I staggered.

Ulrich.

Ulrich!!

My hand went up to my cheek again, pristine, perfect, scarless.

“Wh-What did you say?” I gurgled, “Wh...What did you call me?”

“Ulrich...? Are you alright?”

“N...No, I...,”

[pic – she embraces him]

I stiffened. How many days? Weeks? Years? Four? Four. Four years without me. Four years without her. I missed her. I missed this. Just...being here with her. As a friend, as anything. Close. So close I had begun to believe there wasn't a word that had been invented to describe the relationship we had.

Close. So very, very close.

“Yumi...,”

“I missed you so much. Ulrich, god I've missed you.”

Pain welled up in my chest as her grip turned tight. Tight but not painful. She started to tremble, I steadied her by grasping her arms. Yumi pulled her face away from my chest and stared up at me, her eyes never straying to the cheek that should've been marked, that should've had the scar. No, all she wanted to see was me, and all I wanted to see was her gazing at me without any hatred.

It had been my fault. But god I missed this and I didn't realize it. And then I started to feel guilty. And then she held my smooth cheeks, and then she kissed me.

[pic – exactly that]

And then she kissed me.

[pic – bre you are going to hate yourself for drawing so much kissing]

“Ulrich,” she was speaking in a whine now, a sad, desperate little whine that only constricted the pain in my chest. I was pulled closer. I missed her. God I missed her.

And she missed me.

And I wanted everything to stay like this so badly.

[pic – more kissing I hate you bre I hate everything]

So, so badly.

It had been a nightmare. Reese Anders was a nightmare.

[pic – getting a little passionate there]

Please.

“Ulrich,” she gasped again. And again. All she could say was my name, my name, over and over and over in a steadily rising sense of urgency. She said it so much that it stopped hurting to hear her say it the way I thought it always would, and I kept begging her in my mind to never stop saying it. Ulrich. Ulrich. Ulrich.

Ulrich.

Ulrich!!

REESE!

[pic – wake up from that near-wet dream]

“Yo, you okay there, buddy?”

Sweat plastered hair and clothes alike to my skin. I couldn't yet tell if I was hot or cold—maybe I had been flashing between the two. At first I could barely move, which shot waves of panic through my body that forced a spasm. Odd flinched involuntarily.

“H-Hey, whoa, it was just...a dream, I think. Just...you know...,”

A dream? A dream.

[pic – noooo]

Of course it was a dream.

“Just wanted to make sure you were okay. Didn't sound great.”

I shot him a look that would've killed a cockroach then turned, wrapping the blankets so tight around me it hurt. Necessity demanded it; I could feel the build up behind my eyes, stinging and unwelcome. Spend another minute looking at Odd, looking at the scrawny, wild teenager he had become, and I wasn't sure I could hold everything back. Fortunately, it didn't take long for Odd to give up on getting a coherent answer from me, and when his breaths began to have rhythm I allowed myself to cry.

Even though it was just harsh, hitched breaths in a fetal position, it counted as crying. There was nothing else it could've possibly been.

Dawn broke. The birds sang, groggy students found their way to the showers, cars in the city started to move, and the school bell readied itself to ring. I laid awake in bed, no different than the day before that, and the day before that, and every day before that. Nothing was different.

Nothing would be different until my feet hit the floor.

Odd woke up late, as usual, and though everything was going as routine as it normally did, he seemed to sniff the change in the air. He wouldn't stop glancing over at me. Part of me wished he could just dismiss it as the shock of finally becoming a warrior, but he knew better than that.

What an awful feeling. Odd knowing better.

His voice was cordial but too soft. It was never like Odd to walk on eggshells like this. Was my demeanor that different?

I didn't want an answer.

Back in Germany school days would end up fading to the background as my mind set on autopilot. Especially if it was after a bad night—everything became gray as it was a matter of the physical body getting through the day and nothing else. It was the only way to find comfort when I was in pain.

I wanted the same to happen here, but there are some wishes that couldn't come true.

[pic – blank reese on a bench]

[pic – blank reese in class]

No matter how hard I tried.

[pic – struggling to go back to blank in cafeteria]

Worse, it felt like everyone's eyes were on me. I tried to pretend I wasn't acting different, but when I was staring ahead instead of glaring, ignoring instead of snapping, and most of all, when I was pretending that Yumi didn't exist instead of antagonizing her...

[pic – she sat down next to him]

When neither of us acknowledged this...

A white noise of buzzing gossip filled the schoolyard. It would be impossible to believe that every voice was whispering about me, but I had a habit of thinking about the impossible. If dreams were any indication.

And then, in between classes. Yumi had been heading in the opposite direction.

[pic – passing by]

She didn't say a word.

I felt like throwing up. Throwing up because my stomach did a cartwheel the likes of which I hadn't felt since I was thirteen. I staggered on my feet, pushing into some random kid I barely remembered from way back then. I didn't realize I had stopped cold in my tracks until Aelita's hands pressed on my shoulders.

“Reese!”

Jarred into reality, I awkwardly stumbled in the direction Aelita was pushing me. Face after face of kids passed by like schools of unidentifiable fish. My shoulders hit cold stone as she pushed me against a pillar, trying to act as though she just wanted some affection from her boyfriend. But she was too focused on the crowd, making sure they paid us as little mind as possible. Hiding me away from all of their faces.

When the rush of students became a trickle, Aelita finally looked up at my face. She was breathing heavily. I'm not sure I was breathing at all.

“Reese,” her voice was urgent, maybe even annoyed despite the hushed tone, “Reese, what's going on, what happened?”

I stared at her.

“Reese...,” Aelita tried again, annoyance turning to pure worry. I felt like stone, and because of that I felt unnatural when I started to move. My lip quivered and my vision blurred.

“Is it her?”

Aelita was smart. Really damn smart. True that it wouldn't take an Einstein to figure this shit out, if you knew me. But Aelita—there was something else about the way she was smart. Something about how she understood without asking. Something about how she trusted me more than I trusted myself.

[pic – oh god here comes the waterfall]

[pic – complete flooding]

I couldn't stop it. I couldn't even tell if I had tried or had just let it happen like some fucking idiot. It rushed over like a wave, overtaking me from the gut upwards. Before I knew it my textbooks had crushed my feet and my hands were desperately trying to dam up the tears.

“Oh...,” Aelita cooed, pain lacing her voice, “Oh, Reese...,”

I cried. I cried and cried and cried. Everything was painful. Each breath, hiccup, and tear—it was all in pain. I wanted to be small, wanted to hide myself away and disappear. Maybe just for a little while. Maybe forever.

But I wasn't small. Aelita's soft hands on my chest reminded me of that. And when her hands moved to my sides to pull my aching sternum to her ear, there was no way to even pretend that I had ever been small.

“It's okay, Reese,” No, it wasn't, “It's okay.” She rubbed my shoulders, soothing or at least attempting to soothe. I blubbered, tried to speak, as if there was a way to explain away all this stupid crying in some sort of cool, collected manner. Aelita was quiet save for the occasional hum, trying her damndest to radiate compassion as she let me sob. The gloves on my hands were soon soaked through, tears trickling down my wrists.

Face pressed to my chest, Aelita finally asked the question I was dreading.

“Reese, what happened?”

Something snagged in my throat and my voice cracked, “It wasn't supposed to happen,”

“What?” Aelita whispered, her fingers clenching at how I sounded. I shook my head.

“It wasn't supposed to happen. And it did. It wasn't supposed to happen but he was there—and I—and Yumi—,”

Aelita's hands moved from my shoulders to my collar, gently pressing me further against the pillar in a way that was somehow comforting.

“Hey—wait, Reese, I don't understand,” she said, “You're going too fast. Slow down, tell me everything.”

I shut my mouth, bit my lip, and tried to force myself to calm down. Immediately I could tell it wasn't working. All it did was build up each sob so that when it was finally released it was ten times louder and less human than it should've been. I knew that Aelita had some sort of right to know—no, more like I wanted or needed her to know. But this didn't just happen to me, it happened to Yumi as well, and I had no right to tell what she probably didn't want me to say. The darkening of her face if she found out I had tattled everything appeared in my mind and I physically recoiled, much to Aelita's dismay. Maybe Yumi figured that Aelita would find out eventually, but it wasn't fair...it wasn't fair...

All I could keep saying was “This shouldn't have happened.”

Frustration lined her voice, but still Aelita kept calm as she kept me against the pillar, “Then what did happen?” She shut her eyes and made a small noise, recanting her words, “What did you want to happen?”

“I...,” I felt myself shrink, deflating with the realization that I couldn't envision that night happening in any better way. The reality that imagination couldn't patch or paint over my raw memories, not even in the slightest...

Over the enfolding sense of disillusion I felt a twinge of jealousy over Vivi. Maybe it was just because she was six and she was allowed to have a talent for imagination, but I yearned for a way to erase and replace what I couldn't change. Even if it was just in my head, it would make my mind a better place to live, even though nothing could make it okay.

“I don't know,” I quietly wailed, “I don't...God I don't know...,”

Aelita exhaled, pulling away to stare at me. Her face was solemn, sympathetic but, ultimately, unable to help. I tried to shake out of it, to look back at her, meet her gaze. My eyes felt red and puffy, nearly swelling up to the point where I wouldn't be able to see whether my hands were in front or not. Tears continued to trickle out, constantly a reminder that things had changed and nothing I had done had prevented any of it. I breathed, trying to follow Aelita's lead.

“I—I think I love her again...,” I blurted, and then, with what I just said stabbing me in the gut, I shook, renewed sobs exploding with each heave of my chest. Fear gripped every part of me, eyes widening as I stared past Aelita, trembling and coughing.

“I love her again...?!” I squeaked, terrified. Oh, oh Reese. This. This was not supposed to happen. This was the last thing you wanted to happen.

You know that.

It wouldn't be a lie to say I reveled in the fact that I didn't feel anything for Yumi anymore. I'm not sure if that made taunting her easier, but I'd like to say it did because now the thought of throwing her under the bus and laughing was the most heinous crime I could think of to do to her now. Hell, each match against Yumi was probably me gloating about how much I didn't care for her now. Strutting about like I owned the place because I foolishly thought I owned myself. Ha. Hahaha.

“Fuck...!” I squeaked again, unable to bring it any power to make it a shout. My voice cut off and I buried myself again, fingernails digging into my scalp as if they would find salvation there, “No...!!”

“Reese,” Aelita soothed, “Reese, it's okay. Feeling things is okay. Trust me. Whatever happened that brought...this along...I don't blame you for it, and I won't. Okay?”

My eyes snapped to her. What she said reached my ears but my crazed mind fixated on only a few precise words, shaken up in my shitty brain and coughed out. A thought hit me that I hadn't considered before, staring at Aelita while I was on the verge of a panic attack.

It took watching my father hurt Yumi in order for me to love her again.

That was it, wasn't it? It was the catalyst. It brought this all back around to where I didn't want it to be. Guilt seized me and nothing was working properly anymore. I heard Aelita said that she didn't blame me for it, but as far as blaming myself...

[pic – losin' it]

“H-hey!” Aelita struggled to help support me as I all but tried to give up in that moment, “Reese, it's okay! Reese! Reese...,” Over and over. Reese Reese Reese. Even I was calling myself that in my head, chiding and lecturing. Last night's dream echoed, but it was like I could no longer recall Yumi calling me Ulrich—as if she had always said Reese and I was just remembering it wrong in the first place. Reese, Reese...

“Reese...,” Despite everything Aelita still somehow seemed calm. Petting her hands through my tangled hair, she helped me balance myself back on my feet, taking a deep breath. She let the silence be for a while, occasionally slipping her lip between her teeth to bite in worry and thoughtfulness. The far-off sound of Jim's whistle made her blink a few times, and she sighed heavily.

“Can you make it to class?”

I stared at her dumbly, and she concluded for me, “Okay. Go up to your room, I'll think of something to tell Ms. Meyer.”

She bent down, pulling my fallen textbooks into a pile to hand to me. Frankly I'm surprised my numb arms reached out to take them from her. My stare was blank, ceasing to follow her as she started to move out of my vision.

“I wish this would stop,” I muttered.

“Class?” Aelita gave a fake smirk, “Sorry, for as much as I can do on Lyoko, I can't—,”

“I wish I would stop,” I interrupted as if she hadn't even said anything. Aelita stopped, mid-sentence, mid-step, and turned to contemplate me with a worried expression that she was trying to hide.

“I mean...,” Aelita struggled to say, “You...you could, you know...tell. You know. Tell at least the rest of them.”

“That's not the kind of stop I meant.” I whispered.

[pic – aelita scared and staring at him]

“Please text me while I'm in class,” she whispered back, “Please come out to meet me after class.”

I turned my face away. Aelita had no choice but to leave.

I did the same.

What I wouldn't give to never see her again.

Funny that when I first left four years ago it was all so painful. Repelling meant pain, not relief. Now it was the opposite: repel from her and there was relief, there was peace. Well, peace in a way that I could pretend that nothing had changed because if I let my mind wander it became haunted and full of dread. Full of dreams. I tried to stop myself from dreaming, but that never worked. I tried to turn the dreams to nightmares, to have something awful to feed off of in hopes that I could turn our relationship back to the way it was; always warring, always fighting, full of hatred.

It was so fucking futile I didn't believe for one second that it gave me any hope. But still I tried.

God I tried.

I just wanted to leave her behind. Move on with my life. Get away.

[pic – remember when reese was angry and scary well thats not him anymore]

And all that had happened was that she infiltrated my mind. I don't even know if she was aware of what was happening to me. I was all so caught up in everything I don't even know...I'm not even sure if I could tell if the same thing was happening to her.

[pic – neutral yumi]

She looked...normal. Almost terrifyingly so. Like nothing had happened, to the point where it was like she was pretending that my presence didn't exist or that I didn't affect her. I knew her better than that; I knew she had buried the events of that night to deal with later on her own time, to not show her struggling to anyone else. She had had enough time by this point to put it all behind a mask. Nothing could bring her down, really.

But then, nothing seemed to cheer her up either. Not for Odd and Aelita's lack of trying, even Jeremie too.

[pic – memories of laughing fit]

Thanks, Ulrich. You really know how to cheer someone up.

[pic – his hand over hers]

Nope. I'm not even going to try.

I'm just going to...disappear. If I couldn't get rid of her, then it would be better to get rid of myself—at least of the premises. Get out, go away, clear my head in the woods for a bit, as I always did. The woods always helped. The woods always would help.

No matter what awful things happened between the tree trunks.

Desperation fueled me, but I tried to force whatever panic it induced to the back of my mind. Peace wouldn't come if I was too desperate to find it, after all. Sure, it was a lesson I was still struggling to learn—but Aelita helped a lot, taught me the way the doctors told her how to breathe so she wouldn't upset her heart too much, talked about how the aftermath of a seizure always made her feel and though it was exhausting it was a strange sort of calm after the storm, even if it had been scary.

Breathe, Reese, breathe.

That's right. Keep calling yourself Reese. Do you even know what that means anymore?

“Anders!”

[pic – FALCON PUNCH]

[pic – what the FUCK JUST HAPPENED TO ME—it was me, william!]

Pure shock covered up the initial pain. Then it stung. Then I felt it grow hot with blood. I gingerly touched my face, barely aware that my fingers were trembling from being shaken so bad. Confusion soon turned to scorn and I furrowed my brow, twisting my body so I could better see William. Fuck, he had come out of nowhere. Well, rather my brain was too preoccupied to have any semblance of focus on anything but...

“What the fuck,” I gurgled, rage boiling up my throat. I didn't even do anything this time, I swear! Fuck, I haven't even really done anything in like two weeks! I nursed my aching jaw, stumbling onto my feet as William stared me down, “Jesus Christ, what was that for?!”

William's eyes gleamed as he tightened his fist. I narrowed my gaze, trying to discern what he was doing as I curled my body, ready to dodge at a moment's notice.

“Don't play dumb. The whole school has seen it.”

My knuckle brushed swelling, heated skin, and the heat transferred to it. I closed my fist, ready to retaliate—but something in me softened my grip and I bit back the urge to fight, to beat his shit to pieces. I was too fucking tired and had no time for this.

“Seen what.”

“You,” he glared, accusing, “You and Yumi.”

My heartbeat quickened—two issues of Milly and Tamiya's gossip paper had come out and hadn't had any pictures of us, but I guess I hadn't actually read anything. Did...something get out? I grit my teeth, and William took this as confirmation of his suspicions and continued.

“Yeah, that's right. Everyone knows something's up, except I know Yumi the best. She wouldn't just bow down to shitheads like you.”

“Who the fuck said she bowed down to me?” I snapped. William rolled his eyes in disgust but I kept talking, “What, did she send you after me?”

As soon as the words left my mouth I severely doubted them. The way she had talked about William that night, and the...complacent way she had been treating me recently...There was no way she had confided in William and made me out to be the bad guy. That was something I expected from Sissi back in the day—hell I didn't even know or suspect Sissi would do that now, and that was saying something. But still, I had to make sure. I had to know that she wasn't double-crossing me or took advantage of what I had told her, even if one look at William made me sure she hadn't done anything of the sort. Sure. But not sure enough, apparently. Fuck my head.

“She's too fuckin' proud to say anything, and besides, I know you fucked her up,” he scoffed. White-hot anger stabbed like needles down my spine. No, that's totally fine, William, just bypass Yumi and go straight to me, it's so much easier to beat the fuck out of me and try to make yourself the hero than getting in a public argument with Yumi for the same result, isn't it?! The whole school didn't see me as anything but a fucking asshole, and with this recent development with Yumi every kid had their eyes on me, just waiting for me to make a move. Even William. Especially William.

Except William apparently had gotten tired of waiting for me to abuse Yumi's existence in front of everyone else and decided to take up the mantle of knighthood behind the scenes. No one needed to see St. George slaying the dragon so long as he came back with the dragon's head, right?

What was the dragon really doing, anyways? All this dragon wanted to do was crawl into a cave and die. I don't have time for this fucking bullshit. I shoved my fists into my pockets, ground my teeth to revel in the awful noise they made, and swallowed the anger with a harsh breath.

“Why don't you fucking ask Yumi?” I glowered, “Leave me the fuck alone, Dunbar.”

I turned, desperate to just get away to some quiet part of the woods. Hell I wouldn't even mind finding myself at the creepy Hermitage. Worst comes to worst I could always use the passage to the sewers to slip away unnoticed if William tried to follow me there. Although leading William to one of our places was probably not a good idea, it was still something I could turn to as a last resort.

William's hand clamped onto my shoulder and spun me around. I jerked, trying to shrug his grasp off.

[pic – another punch to reese's face]

“Yeah, motherfucker,” William panted, “That one was for Yumi. And so will be the next one. You're not going anywhere.”

[pic – blazing anger]

For Yumi?! Really?! Yumi can and had protected herself against me multiple times without a second thought! She won our fucking sparring match, she won my training session, she kneed me straight in the balls, she fucking pressed me up against a couch and choked me, who the fuck did William think he was defending?! Yumi wasn't even here, and if she was, god, I could just hear her voice, loud with anger and disgust! I was sure of it—but even if I was wrong, I knew that Yumi wouldn't ever want someone else to rally and fight her battles for her. Gurgles turned to growls and I stared William down. Anger blazed in me, but I still didn't really want to fight.

Funny, that. I didn't want to fight.

Once upon a time I wouldn't have hesitated to come at William fists swinging, in the name of Yumi's honor, for my own pride, whatever the reason. But here, now, even though William threw the first punch, all I wanted to do was fucking leave, still.

Actually, maybe it was because William threw the first punch that I didn't want to fight. Or maybe I just didn't want to be a part of this anymore than I already accidentally had. Fuck, I wasn't trying to be a part of anything! Shit! Leave me alone! Leave me the fuck alone!!

[pic – another punch and reese goes swinging backwards]

“Man, you're a pansy motherfucker, I would've thought you'd at least do something. Jesus, what are you trying to prove? The whole school knows what you are, so why even try to hide it?”

I cupped my hands over my nose as hot blood spilled out. There had been a hard crack as William's knuckles smashed into my face. I tried not to cry out to save some shreds of dignity and ending up choking on blood going the opposite direction of my nostrils. Breathing loud and harsh, seething hot air through my teeth to work through the pain, I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to focus on anything but William as he spoke.

“How'd you do it, Scarface?” he asked, squatting down to taunt me, “How'd you get her on her knees? A soon-to-be former ex-boyfriend would like to know.”

[pic – you broke my beautiful nose]

Three strikes and you're out, Dunbar.

[pic – reese socks william in the gut]

You wanna keep using the metaphor to get Yumi on her knees, you heartless fuck?

[pic – fight club cringes]

I was on my knees first.

[pic – williams def takin a beating now]

I was pinned to the ground on my back first. And Yumi decided to get on her knees instead of push me down further.

William's yelp was cut off as my elbow slammed into his cheek. I followed up with two punches right in the sweet spot my elbow made. He tried to fight back in the only way he knew how; brawling and swinging without discipline. Even if he managed to hit me it was like he was hitting a brick wall; the dragon had been taunted into retaliating, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to backpedal and explain his mistake. Blood and spit flew between the two of us as we fought, a goddamn mess in the middle of the woods. This would all hurt in the morning, but for the time being the only thing I could feel was the righteous anger as I pushed William back.

Some part of me was surprised that I didn't enjoy it the way I thought I would.

There wasn't anything but instinct, some sort of animal way of trying to fend off a predator. I wanted him gone—out of my goddamn life. Not dead just gone. Send him off to a different country for four years or more, I certainly wouldn't miss him.

The thought suddenly made me sick and sullen. Wishing, actually wishing that on someone. Just for thinking it, I should've let William get a few free punches in. I slammed William against a tree, fists twisted into his jacket as I glared at him. He coughed, I spat out blood. Regaining himself, William began to kick and snarl at me. My glare became a stare, and the sullen feeling seeped into my bones, replacing the adrenaline. I didn't want to be there. I was so, so done.

[pic – totally not gay]

“I would've thought...,” I rasped, deep, “I would've thought you'd be the better man for her.”

It made sense in my head. Even back when I was Ulrich, blinded by jealousy. Jealous because William seemed so perfect next to me. Tall, dark, handsome, had a network of friends outside of Kadic that he did things with, cool, suave, knew how to talk to girls...He had his fuck-up moments, sure. There is no way in hell Yumi would ever see past him figuring that she was just like any other girl, but those were mistakes that could be fixed, unlike my mistakes. William was perfect, with a perfect life, probably with a perfect future. Just enough bad boy to be alluring with an (annoying) idea of what was the right way and the wrong way the world worked. A go-getter. Of course he'd always be the first to confess his feelings, and I was afraid that Yumi would just go for him simply because he would do everything right—according to his plan anyways.

I would've thought Yumi would've wanted that. I would've thought he'd be the better man if only because he'd at the very least try to be her man. At least try to be with her, stay with her and comfort her like I couldn't, wouldn't, because I was too stupid and insecure to face potential failure. I was scared of her, William wasn't—ergo, William was better.

“Better what?” he barked. I loosened my grip on his jacket. His eyes grew wide for a second, then he dropped his jaw open.

“Holy shit...you actually like her?!” William exclaimed, his voice screaming victory even though I had beaten him, “Holy shit. Holy shit. Are you fucking serious? You?!”

Hunching my shoulders in a lame attempt to hide myself in the collar of my jacket, I tried to skulk away. William's voice, interspersed with cruel laughter, only grew louder the farther I got.

“Really? I can't fucking believe it. You? Do you think she'd ever go after you?! Yumi fucking Scarface, that'll be the day you'll never see! You're fucked up, Anders! You're so fucked up the scars don't even do it justice!”

[pic – ouch...]

“Keep walking, Scarface! And if you ever go near her again the newspaper will love to hear about what you did to her!”

[pic – walkin']

I didn't even do anything this time...

I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, but my feet certainly had an idea of where I should be. My face throbbed, swollen and hot. Blood was slowly coagulating, becoming sludge in my nose and around my busted lip. Breathing through my mouth as I walked, I alternated squeezing my eyes shut too harshly and blinking rapidly to force the pain into the background. I tried not to think about what William said.

Tried.

There was something weirdly appealing about one of my eyes swelling shut. Rather, I wished that both my eyes would swell shut so I'd stumble around the city blind for a while. Close off some senses, just...just exist in the lowest form possible. The lower the life form, the less processed thought it had, right?

I didn't...I didn't even do anything this time.

That's what I kept wailing to myself, but the wail was quiet, almost inaudible. In a way I didn't believe it, because if I thought hard enough I could think of all the ways it was my fault. There were so, so many, after all.

Yumi fucking Scarface. I wanted to vomit at the thought. After what had happened? To think that Yumi could ever see me in such a light was stupid, not hopeful. And as for me, looking at her...I felt dirty. The kind of dirty you can't wash off of clothes. A bruise you don't remember getting but now it hurts like hell and you won't be able to get rid of it. Something had viscerally changed. I could name it if I wanted to, but, fuck that. To have her reciprocate my feelings—I wouldn't wish that on her in a million years.

And if you ever go near her again the newspaper will love to hear about what you did to her! I knew what William thought I did to her, and the worst thing about that thought was the knowledge I could do that. Easily. Even if Yumi defended herself and fought me off, the hideous taste of what was intended to happen would stay with her forever. That was easy to know. The real question was, would she fight against the rumor? Did she even know that this was possibly one of the rumors running around? (Considering William's mouth, if it wasn't a rumor before, it'd be a rumor now...) No, stupid; the realer question was would I even care...? Do I care?

I guess it's not like I thought too far ahead into my future enough to really contemplate my reputation outside of...this. Whatever the hell this was.

You're so fucked up the scars don't even do it justice!

[pic – periwinkle's]

It was hard to believe in justice in the first place.

My feet approached Periwinkle's front door, my mind following them complacently. I reached up behind the old porchlight, fishing the key out of the metal latticework. Technically I wasn't supposed to be here this late, but to jump a little too far from that simple thought, I wasn't supposed to be a lot of things. I briefly wondered if this would count as breaking and entering, or if Periwinkle would even file it as such, but that thought was in the background as my hands turned the key and the satisfying sound of an old, heavy lock clicking comforted my ears. I opened the door and stepped inside. Autopilot.

The foyer was dark. I didn't quite know what time it was, but for sure Vivi was supposed to be in bed, and if Vivi was in bed Periwinkle wasn't far behind. The old woman didn't do much outside of the orphanage, which was both a blessing and a curse. I was going through the careful motions to gently shut the door behind me when I smelled smoke.

Cigarette smoke.

Something was off.

As the door shut I blinked my one working eye rapidly. Down the hall a singular lamplight from the living room shone through the archway. I must've not noticed it right away due to the black eye. I took in a breath, sliding my feet forward on the old rug that ran down the hallway. The pounding in my chest resulted in a resurgence of heat and pain in all of my bruises. As I moved, ever so steadily, I tried to think of what to do. Should I say something, ask if anyone's there? Should I turn around and phone the police, without even knowing what was going on?

I swallowed blood and saliva, and crept forward. The arrhythmic creaking of a rocking chair was the only indication that someone was still alive, still moving. Pausing just before my face hit the warm light, I gathered whatever courage I had and peeked into the archway.

[pic – periwinkle's thousand yard stare and a cigarette]

“Mrs...Mrs. Periwinkle?” I breathed. The only acknowledgment I got was a blink; she still stared out past the lamplight into the dark window panes. Tapping cigarette ashes into a dusty tray, she drew in a lungful of smoke and let it release over a long period of time. Normally there should've been a sense of relaxation to breathing that deeply, but nothing about her changed.

I stood, filling the archway with my shoulders and beaten face. She still didn't look at me.

“Did you ever wonder why I let you near her?” Periwinkle broke the silence. Her voice was raggedy, making me feel her age for the first time since I ever heard it. I stood, quiet, letting the old woman speak. The question didn't exactly catch me off-guard, but it was not something I was prepared to hear. Of course I had wondered, but I tried to not let wondering get in the way of what I had been given. Given. A rock formed in my throat. Vivi. Where was she.

Periwinkle tapped the cigarette again even though there were barely any new ashes since the last time she tapped it, “Every other time she would run away the person who brought her back would bring her back in tears, screaming. The girl didn't know where she wanted to be, all she knew was that either option was something she didn't want. Then you come along, and suddenly she doesn't want to leave you.

“It was a risk. You could easily break her arm, hold her down; throw her in the woods near Kadic injured and alone. God knows why you were walking around the city that day when you live in a boarding school. Perhaps your after-school activities were less than favorable. I called Kadic Academy about you. Did you know that?”

I stared at her, busted lips pressed together. No. No I didn't.

“A gruff man answered the phone, said he was substituting for a sick secretary. He told me the other students didn't like you, but you hadn't yet done anything of note for detention or otherwise. I let you come back. And you did. You kept coming back. Week after week. Loyal, even when you had no reason to be. I told you to not come here after dark, to leave before evening. Yet here you are.”

My throat throbbed and my head swam. Shit. It was after dark. Was this her ritual, after Vivi had been put to bed? Stay up in the late evening hours, seeing if I would come around and let myself in for whatever fucking nightmarish reason she could dream up? I pressed my hand against the archway, fingers trying to dig into the drywall as I opened my mouth to protest. First William, now Periwinkle—first Yumi, now Vivi. I didn't really mean to come here tonight, didn't mean to intrude or hurt Vivi, I was just—I was just lost, just look at my fucking face, I don't have a place to go! Anything, anything to make Periwinkle believe that I wasn't trying to hurt her! I swear, I swear I'm good!

A sound left my throat, and Periwinkle kept talking as though I wasn't struggling to say something.

“What a curiosity that you chose tonight...,”

The old woman still hadn't looked at me this entire time. I sucked in a painful breath, waiting for her to bring the hammer down on my head. She took a long drag of the cigarette, snuffed it out, lit another one. I glanced at the tray, finally realizing that the corpses of three cigarettes laid there.

I didn't even fucking know Periwinkle smoked.

“Vivian's mother came back.”

A freezing hand closed on my chest and the only vision I had blurred, readying for the news that this was it, Vivi was gone, someone had come and taken her and I hadn't been there and I didn't know and she was just fucking gone.

“Were you to show the slightest sign of harming that girl I could've had you tied up so tightly you'd never see the sun the same way again. Her mother—for example—I will not let her near a child again.”

I couldn't listen to her. The icy hand tugged at my heart and I instinctively cocked my head towards the second floor, where Vivi was supposed to be resting. Vivi. Vivi Vivi Vivi. She had to be there, she had to be safe, I had to check up on her! I started into the room, hellbent on racing through and up the stairs, tearing the bedroom door off the hinges if I had to just to make sure she was there, she was safe. Periwinkle hadn't mentioned where she was, and if she was gone, and if what I thought she was saying was true...

The old woman sighed and finally deflated from her rigid stance, mottled skin and rickety bones struggling to find comfort in her failing body. The hot blood in my veins stopped to let me take her in, her weary oldness that betrayed her constant facade of a crotchety hardass.

“Mrs. Periwinkle...?” I said again, slowing to a creep. Her eyes were shut in pain, physical or emotional I couldn't tell.

[pic – kneeling in front of her]

When she opened her eyes they focused on me, grayed and thick from their previous, unknown color. I couldn't tell what she was feeling, if she was okay, if there was something she was holding back from telling me.

“I am old, and I cannot do this anymore.”

I glanced just behind the old woman to where the staircase inevitably was. Keeping my mouth shut but feeling my throat tremble, I looked back to her, trying not to overthink.

Periwinkle regarded me, actually regarded me for a moment. Still she didn't seem to notice or care about the puffy bruises and blood that had already dropped in globs on her carpet. She blinked.

“Vivian—Vivi is upstairs.”

Relief washed through in a heavy hot breath that seemed to take part of the pain with it and I moved to stand up and leave that exact moment. Something stopped me, though, and even though I had turned to face the hall to the staircase like a compass pointing cardinal north I couldn't move any further. Vivi was upstairs. Vivi wasn't going anywhere—and if she was going to run away again she would have already done so. Inhaling, exhaling, I looked back to Periwinkle. She had not moved, even to watch me leave.

Curiosity overcame me and I knelt down in front of her again.

Her chair continued to creak with no steady rhythm. The cigarette that was barely halfway done was snuffed, and without a second thought she lit another as though she hadn't just wasted half of one. She did not take a drag, simply let it burn over the ashtray, tucked into her knobby knuckles. Smacking her parchment lips together, she began to speak again.

“She was the last. She had to be the last. I don't care for children like I used to. I cook. I clean. The roof stays over their head. And that's all I do.”

There was a matter-of-factness in her voice that I was used to hearing, but what I wasn't used to was the pain. If all of the pain I was feeling in that moment, the blood, the bruises, the broken fucking nose, was ground into a paste and put into a pill, a bottle of those pills would equal what I was hearing from Periwinkle in that moment. The harsh vault doors had opened, and all I saw was a frail, overworked woman receding into her worn rocking chair. She laid her head back against the faded cushion of the chair and sighed.

“I'm too old,” tears clouded her voice, “And that child knows it. And I know it. She needs to go, because I can't care for her the way she needs to be cared for. I don't love her. I can't love her. I'm in pain every day and I know I can't keep this up. I've known for a while. Then you came along...,”

Periwinkle stopped rocking and righted herself to see me again, “And you were everything I couldn't do. Alone, I bet you couldn't tell a toilet from a sink,” she snorted, yet I didn't take offense as she became soft and pained again, “Alone, I wouldn't help Vivian—Vivi, from one year to the next.”

Periwinkle sank. It was strange, to hear herself correcting Vivi's name to what she wanted to be called, what I and everyone else should call her. Normally the old woman didn't give a shit, didn't even pretend to. I continued to gaze at her in strange awe. She still didn't give a shit, not out of strictness or cruelty but because she fucking couldn't.

Couldn't give a shit about Vivi like I couldn't give a shit about myself.

Yet she still cooked and clothed Vivi, she still sat here as a sentry against unwanted and dangerous people. Dangerous like Vivi's mother? I found myself looking at the staircase again.

“Go.” Periwinkle muttered after a while, “I haven't heard her make a peep since her mother came two hours ago.”

I stared at her. After a while I gave her a small dip of my chin in respect. Periwinkle's loose wrinkled face scoffed at me, dismissing it. I stood up to go to Vivi's room. Once I passed out of her vision Periwinkle finally brought attention to my beaten face.

“You look like hell beat you to the ground. But I suppose when kids have the misfortune of having hell find them over and over again they eventually find each other,” she grunted, “Vivi does not know that was her mother. You'd do yourself many favors by keeping that a secret from her.”

My shoulders blocked the light in the archway as I moved into the hallway and up the creaky stairs. Second door to the left. I hesitated, my hand dwarfing the ancient knob. A glob of blood hung at the rim of my nostril. I sucked it up, shuddering as it hit the back of my throat and slid down, cold and slimy. Steeling myself and swallowing, I shut my eyes before opening the door.

“Vivs?” I called, cautious. The room was dark. Faint light from the street struggled to break from behind the curtains. The sheets of the bed Vivi liked to sleep in were rumpled and empty. There was no way to tell if she had simply refused to make the bed that morning (a common occurrence) or she had clambered out in a crazed rush to hide. I crept into the room, keeping it dark.

“Vivi, are you here?” I stood in the middle of so many empty beds, nothing answering me. Each window was closed; nothing indicated that she had run away again. Somehow that was less reassuring than it should have been. I would not have blamed her for running; in fact I almost wish she had.

[pic - check under the bed]

Nothing. I sat back on my heels and let out a low, hurt breath.

The closet door creaked. I turned my head. For sure it had been shut before, but now it was slightly ajar. Standing up, I quietly walked over and pulled it further open.

[pic - there she is]

[pic - relief and pain]

Oh god.

I squatted, bent knees pushing the threshold. For a while I was quiet, though not because I was unsure of which phrase from the list of false comforts I should pull out of my ass to say. This kid damn well knew it was all bullshit. Moreso I didn’t say anything because I knew I shouldn’t, knew I had no reason to pull her out of her sanctuary so soon. My chest hurt, burned as I gazed at her in what was probably compassion.

“I’m here."

Soft. Assured. Definite. Kind. How the fuck could someone like me say something like this, in this way?

"I’m here.”

Vivi turned, curling her legs even further into her stomach, looking at me expectantly. I had figured she would scoot aside to make room for me, but it seemed she barely wanted to move in her catatonic state. Carefully, I crawled over her to the other side, nestling between the wall and her small body. The hand-me-down, donated clothes that hung from hangars were too small to even brush the top of my head. I tried to relax, tried to ignore the dull throb of pain in my face coupled with that horrible sinking emotion. The one where I knew I had done all I could, and it had all still gone to shit. Such absolute shit.

Vivi nudged into my side. Ignoring how sore I was, I forced my muscles to try and be a cushion for her. Anything, anything to make up for it.

She nudged me again. I swallowed a gasp of pain and looked down.

[pic – a really shit plush]

I opened my mouth but no sound came out. She offered it...whatever it was, to me.

[pic – a really SHITTY plush]

“Did you make this, Vivs?”

I more felt than saw her nod.

“Periwinkle help you?”

Another nod. I considered it for a moment.

“This is...this is kind of amazing, Vivs.”

“It's yours,” she croaked.

[pic – you what]

“Mine?”

Vivi shifted, unsettled, “For the sweater.”

Oh. Oh...

I wrapped my beaten hands around the lump of fabric and stuffing. Making a quick mental note to ask Aelita what the best way to clean blood out of fabric was, I inhaled, stuttering on breaths. The swelling and bruises around my face became a dam of tears that I had to keep at bay. Vivi already knew that things were bad, she didn't need me to break now when she needed me.

“Thank you, Vivs,” I earnestly whispered. Tucking the plush into the curve between my stomach and my hip, I reached my arms around her and pulled her close.

“There's a woman who yells. All she does is yell. Mrs. P gets angry but she doesn't yell.” Vivi finally began, face buried in the canvas of my jacket. I squeezed lightly, remaining quiet for her, “Sometimes I want to listen but I already know what she wants. Mrs. P tells me to go to my room and not come out when she's here.”

“How...,” I rubbed her shoulder, “How often does this happen?”

Vivi shrugged, “Dunno.”

Quiet. She shifted uncomfortably and hid the lower half of her chin in her knees, making her next words mumbled.

“She always comes back.” Lost and unsure, Vivi stared, catatonic, at the dark corner of the closet opposite us as her small hands kneaded her pants, “Always...,”

Quiet again. It was hard trying to figure out if it was the kind of quiet that needed to be so, or if she was waiting for me to break it for her. On one hand, the quiet had a soothing effect. After such violent incidents, the both of us were finding (a little bit unexpected) solace in the cozily enclosed space. But at the same time, keeping what happened in the dark felt...wrong somehow. Maybe not wrong, but something that could potentially erupt later in horrible ways if left unchecked and unspoken.

Not that I really wanted to tell a six-year-old girl about what had just happened to me. Sure she could see it, even hear the winces through my teeth and blood-clogged sniffles every so often. I mean. I could tell her. Tell her anything and everything. Some part of me wanted to, not because of any ill-intentioned desire to traumatize her, but more like I wanted her to be a confidant. Someone I could tell and teach everything to, watching her grow under my guiding hand. Or something.

But she was six. I was seventeen. I had a duty to not overfill her with knowledge she shouldn't have, had a duty to not treat her like an equal, because she wasn't. I loved her, I think. Yeah, I loved her like a sister, and I wanted to protect her from everything and show her everything at the same time. But I couldn't do either, not to the fullest, at any rate, no. No. Protecting her from everything would alienate and constrict her. Showing her everything would force her to grow up too fast.

I already knew what it was like to grow up too fast. I couldn't do that to her. I wouldn't.

For the moment she didn't ask about the blood and the bruises. She accepted the scars as if they were an intrinsic part of me—like I wouldn't be me without them, but in the most innocent way possible. I guess it could be called blind acceptance, but that seemed too harsh and derogatory a term. She didn't want me to be different towards her, and I wasn't going to be. I was going to be Reese.

The questions would come eventually. And until then I was just gonna be Reese.

[pic – siblings]

“Are you scared?” I asked her. Vivi straightened up and puffed her chest out, trying to make her voice strong but it was still wavering.

“I'm not afraid of anything!” she boasted, but quickly deflated into my side, “I'm not scared...,”

She swallowed air and dug further into me, willfully ignoring my involuntary wince of pain for the sake of her own comfort. I didn't care, clutching the plush closer to me.

“I just...don't want her to see me. I don't wanna go with her. I don't want what she wants,” Whether or not Vivi could articulate reasons beyond 'because I don't want it' was something I left up to question. I shifted my arm, allowing her to burrow further if she needed to despite the pain.

“What do you want, Vivs?” I asked, soft and open. It didn't take long for her to come up with an answer.

“Wanna go to school. Go to school and have friends, like you.” Well, friends was such a complicated term for me, especially right now, but I could see what she was saying. She wanted an expanded life. She wanted what she liked to think I had; freedom, friendship, security, an easily destined future. Something simply different than...than knowing that she needed to be adopted and it was taking too long, different than knowing there were people that wanted her that she knew she didn't want in her life.

She was absolutely scared. She had every reason to be.

“I know you're not afraid of anything,” I murmured, “I'm not either. But...,”

Vivi adjusted her position, perking her head up to hear me better.

“I think I'm scared.”

She stared at me, the wheels in her head furiously turning to calculate what I said into something she could understand and accept. An encroaching wave of frustration twisted her small face and she gripped my jacket and plowed her face into me. I let out the strangest, strangled cough of pain, akin to some obscure bird call that catches hikers off-guard. Of course she didn't seem to care, and to be honest, yes it hurt, but I didn't either.

“No you're not,” Vivi protested, “You just said, you're not afraid of nothing and you're not!!”

“Urgh,” I failed to fight off the wheeze in my voice, “I think...what I mean is I can't be afraid. Gotta keep going, even though I don't even know how I'm gonna get from point A to point B. D'you understand?”

“No!”

That was more a refusal to understand than whether or not she actually did, but whatever.

“I'm afraid of a lot of things,” I confessed as she continued to worm her way against me, causing me to squirm and wince and push the words out in between shrill gasps and spitting too-hot saliva, “But they're things I should be afraid of, like—like m-monsters,”

“Mrs. P says monsters don't exist!” Vivi continued, extremely indignant. For a moment I saw her (through blurry vision) pull her head up and glare at me, right before burying herself again. (Thank god the closet wall was at my back because I'm sure she would've flattened me into a fetal position. Against me: William, 0; Vivi, 1.) From the depths of my jacket I heard a confused, possibly betrayed sob. Yeah, this was too painful on several levels. I tried to pull Vivi away from my side to get a firm but gentle grip on her shoulder, but she shoved my hand away. I persisted, she shoved me away again. Pressing my palm flat against the wall, I heaved deep breaths to try and regain myself and blink the spots away from whatever vision I had left.

“No,” I had to breathe through my teeth as she clamped down her hands like a vice on my side, “No, monsters exist. They just...don't look like you think they do.”

Finally she released me, at least partially, and looked up again, still somewhat hurt and absolutely baffled by what I was trying to say (really I didn't know what I was saying either) but ultimately too curious for her own good. Wrapping my arm around her shoulders again, I let out a garbled sigh of relief when she didn't push me away and began to speak.

“They look like...you and me. And Aelita. And Odd. And Mrs. P. They look just like us, some way or another. And to some people, they aren't monsters, not at all, but to others, they...are.”

[pic – memories]

“Some way or another...,”

Vivi adjusted herself, sliding her legs out so her feet stuck out from the door frame of the closet and rested against me in a much less aggressive way, her round eyes turned up towards me in growing wonder. I hadn't realized I paused until I shook my aching head. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, talking to her so candidly like this. It was a possibility that I was developing a concussion—at the very least I could fall back on that if I came to regret this later.

“Listen, I...,” Memories kept flooding me, memories of twisted emotions—fear, disgust, anger, and a continuous yearning to flee. I looked down at Vivi, meeting her eyes. Inadvertently I smiled. Couldn't help it. It was probably for the best, too.

“You got a good gut on you,” I poked at her sides, and she squealed, biting her lip to try and stifle her giggles. She tried to furrow her brow to look at me disapprovingly—tried. I simply poked her again, gently. Spittle flew from her mouth in her failed attempts to stop the giggles before they happened. My smile grew wider as my voice softened more, “Listen to what your gut says. It says you're hungry, then eat something. It says you're tired, then go to sleep. It says you're scared...then be scared. And get out, run away from what's making you scared if you can.”

“I'm not—,” Vivi sputtered, but fell silent and guiltily stared across my chest to the darker corners of the closet. The canvas of my jacket wrung in her small hands as she turned the confusing words around in her head until she finally whispered, “I just don't wanna be scared...,”

“It's okay to be scared, Vivs. If I can be, then you can be too.” I whispered, trying to sound strong. Big tears, glistening in whatever light they could squander, rolled down her round cheeks and dripped off the bottom of her chin.

“What're we supposed to do, then?”

I brushed a thumb over her wet cheek, wiping a tear away and resting my head against the wall. The best my face could do for a smile struggled to show as I gazed down at her. Actively ignoring the hollowness digging deeper in my gut, I felt a tired warmth seep into my chest and I closed my eyes.

“Get up tomorrow, I guess. And the day after that. You know. Keep going. Run if you have to.”

“Are we running?”

Despite how badly my ribs ached, I leaned down and kissed the top of her head before pulling her under the protection of my injured bulk.

“I think we're trying to.”

Vivi was quiet, kneading my jacket like a cat for comfort.

“G'night, Reese.”

“Yeah. G'night, Vivs.”

I love you.

[pic – them sleeping in a pile in the closet]

//////////

((Cannot seem to find if I ever sketched this out but Ch20's cover concept was Jeremie's glasses underwater beneath a XANA storm above the factory))

Chapter 20: Perfection in Pride

“Well, you won't take the advice I want to give, so in the meantime, why don't you just avoid William like the plague?”

“Gee,” I muttered, rolling my eyes, “Thanks. Will do. I totally wasn't planning on that.”

“Don't lie,” Aelita glanced up in her mirror, looking at my reflection in a fairly stern manner, “You were planning on clocking him the first chance you got.”

“Yeah!” I retorted, as though I hadn't just sarcastically implied I didn't want to do that, “Before he clocked me out first!”

I scoffed, loud and clear for her to hear, but I glanced down at her plush blanket poking between my fingers as I sat on her bed. Wait. There was something I was distinctly missing, and if I didn't bring it up Aelita would let it slip away like it was my own damn fault. (Well, it would be, but, whatever.)

“Wait. What was your advice, then?”

“Oh? Well if you're actually considering on taking it, then be my guest!” Aelita grinned at me in a way that was wholly unsettling before her smile dropped along with her voice into something far more serious than I was prepared for, “Tell Yumi.”

The plush blanket was about to become a lot less plush by the time I was done choking it.

“What? No. Fuck no. Why the fuck would I do that? What? What?!”

“I don't know,”

[pic – aelita standing up to face him, she's getting dressy for something]

“You two just seem so close as of late, after all,”

I stuck my lower lip out in a disgruntled pout, making sure that Aelita knew it was directed entirely at her and her actions even though she was the only other person in her room. Chagrined, and not exactly able to hide it in front of Aelita, I leaned back and tried to seem casually arrogant.

“What, you jealous or something?”

Aelita traced arcs on the floor with her socked feet as she approached me, her voice comically sultry, “Oh no, Reese, I know you'd never cheat on me. You know I'm such a good kisser!”

[pic – snrk]

I snorted, the both of our acts dropping immediately with short but genuine bouts of laughter. I laid back onto her bed, arms stretched out, as she turned around and continued rummaging around her drawers for accessories.

“Man,” I slapped a hand to my face and dragged it down, “Apparently I'm a good kisser too, y'know.”

“You? With what practice?” Aelita shot as she snapped punk-ish bracelets on. I snorted again, but instead of laughter it became a pained, embarrassed wail.

“Okay, I don't know about now—but, jeez, you weren't even on earth for a lot of this,”

Aelita was nothing but fire and sass today, and it took her all of nanoseconds to respond, “Oh, sorry to hear that coming to earth cockblocked you to this day.”

“Yeah, you keep stealing all the girls,” I shot back, kicking lazily towards her. She snorted too, but it was a little reserved even though she was smiling, “No, okay—ugh, I had to...bargain a lot. To um. Get Sissi to do things for us. Like uh, get Yumi out of detention.”

“Wait, alright,” Aelita paused in the middle of brushing her hair, turning towards me again, “I know you bargained with Sissi, but kissing her? With the way she was back then?”

“It was my only option!” I protested, “We ran out of time and I had to think fast! It was just down payment, I didn't want to date her for two months and have to pretend to do that all the time!”

Aelita raised an eyebrow, still fucking with me, “Alright, Casanova.”

Back to brushing her hair. I grumbled to myself, unfortunately recalling that exact month of being dragged along to places I didn't want to be with people I didn't want to be with. Movies I didn't want to see. Sissi's elbows always dug into my side when we held hands at the theater, and I could never tell if it was because she didn't know how to be tender or if it was because she was constantly reminding me that I was on thin ice and I had to pretend to enjoy myself. Man, and I thought pretending to smile hurt back then. Look at me now.

Anyways, both during and after that Sissi started trying to find excuses and 'accidents' to get me to kiss (read: smash lips together) her in the most roundabout ways possible. She tried to coax me once, saying that my lips were soft and sweet and that it really felt like I knew what I was doing. That, unsurprisingly, still haunts me even though she meant it as a compliment. As far as I'm concerned, I put nothing into kissing her unless I really wanted something out of it, like getting Yumi out of detention. Thinking back on that, it was creepy. It was creepy then, it was creepy now—and considering that I only had Sissi's words to go on, I guess I didn't really know if I was a good kisser or not, because it's not like I was going to believe her for a second.

“Hey,” I asked, resting one leg on the other's knee and folding my hands behind my head. I counted patterns in the ceiling, feeling lazy for the first time in a while, “What did you mean by 'with the way she was back then'?”

Aelita was quiet again, and it felt like it was the same quiet that cut her laugh into a snort when I joked that she had been stealing girls. Keeping focused on the ceiling but losing my count on the patterns, I listened intently as Aelita kept brushing and styling her hair.

“Well...you remember how she bullied me when I first got to Kadic,” she started slowly. I shrugged, assuring her that I did. She ran her brush through exactly five more times before she continued, “After you left it got particularly bad for maybe two months. She was devastated, and she took it out on us, as if we weren't also hurting. But because we were on the same floor, and at the time our rooms were right next to each other...I got the brunt of it. I had to start twisting my schedule; sometimes I'd wake up an hour early so I wouldn't see her in the showers that morning, sometimes I'd take the risk in being late to class or skip breakfast all together to miss her. Even when she calmed down and started to ignore more than antagonize, I kept avoiding her. At that point I had gotten used to it, so there was no harm in keeping it up. I must've been doing it for close to a year, and one day...I woke up early and I felt weird. Something different, and not good different. I stumbled into the shower late, so I was there the same time Sissi was.

“I remember getting in the shower and turning the water on. The next thing I knew I was in the infirmary, wrapped in towels. They told me I had a seizure, I hit my head, that a doctor was on the way to talk to me, figure out if it was an indication of something more. The start of problems, in other words.”

She set her brush down, staring at it like it was a mirror instead, “When they finally released me, and the others escorted me upstairs, and once I was alone in my room, I heard a knock. It was Sissi. She was the one who heard me fall in the shower. She dragged me out, while other girls froze in terror. She wrapped me in towels and told the others to get help. I asked her why.”

I sat back up, staring at the profile of Aelita's face.

“She snapped 'I don't know' and slammed my door shut. But she didn't say anything to me after that, even when I cautiously let myself be around her more. About a year ago, I was starting to realize that what Jeremie felt for me and what I felt for him were two different things. And I was trying to figure out why I wasn't able to see what he always talked about with literally anyone. One day I heard Sissi crying in her room so I knocked on her door. She was crying over being rejected, or maybe she broke up with her boyfriend; it was really hard to understand her. But at some point she hit her pillow and screamed that she wished she didn't like boys anymore. Before I could stop myself, I said 'oh'. You know the kind...the oh where you involuntarily say too much. Sissi stopped, and we stared at each other. Like she had just realized she had let me in. I started to get scared, because all I had done beforehand was google that 'why don't I like boys' you teased me about, and I didn't know what to make of the results—after all, they all had scary stories of coming out. I didn't want to think that was me.”

[pic - ...]

“We didn't say a word, but Sissi seemed calm and opened her door for me to leave. She hasn't...said anything since, not pertaining to that. She doesn't look at me weird when there's another girl at my door, but—,”

“But if it's a guy at your door, she makes a big fuss,” I finished for her, “Believe me, I know.”

Aelita smiled, a little pained, but it was clear that her pain was in the process of healing, “I think I hate that I tricked you into fake-dating me, sometimes. Like, it wasn't fair, you didn't know.”

“Yeah well,” I scratched the back of my neck, ruffling the end tufts of my hair, and grimaced, “It's not like I don't know what it feels like to trick people, huh. Besides, I don't really care that you did. I'm alright.”

Aelita still didn't look back at me, her voice darkened and sad, “Alright that I'm stealing all the girls?”

[pic – hey whoa]

“Whoa, hey now, that was a joke, I didn't mean—,”

“I know, I know. I just...have no one to talk to about this.”

[pic – aelita in foreground reese in bg]

Oh. Right. I felt guilty that I hadn't realized that sooner. Even if Sissi did know, and there's no evidence to support that she really did, I felt weird about anyone confiding in her over—literally anything. She might have changed for Aelita and everyone else in the group, but all I remember were her dirty tricks, betrayals, and bullying. It would be best to play it safe, close to the chest.

Funny that I qualified as close to Aelita's chest.

“So...which girls, exactly, have you been stealing?”

[pic – REESE I SWEAR TO GOD]

“Reese! Shut up!! Let's see you talk this big on Lyoko, you two-bit sonic boom!”

I heard every word over my laughter, and each word just made me laugh more. Aelita pulled the pillow she used as a cushion for the back of her chair out from behind her and flung it at me. It did nothing to stop me, but I did welcome it and propped it up behind my back as I leaned back against the wall. Watching her struggle to glare in frustration at me, I crossed my arms and smiled.

“Oh, that's right, you love me too much to be stealing girls.”

“You are really testing that love right now, Mr. Anders,” she huffed, ignoring me as she fixed her hair until she was satisfied. Picking at her nails for a bit and staring at them as if she could change the color she had applied an hour ago, she stood up and began crossing her room, pulling boots out from the back of her closet (perhaps hand-me-downs from Yumi) and flipping through what little she had for jackets and vests.

“But...no, to answer your question,” Aelita quietly said all of the sudden as she pulled out a short, bleached denim vest. A few studs had been jarred loose. She sat on the floor, crossing her legs, and began to fix them as she spoke, “No, there haven't been any girls.”

I cocked my head to the side, “Really? Wasn't that Emily in your room last winter?”

“Well, yes.” Aelita then yelped and shook her hand, sucking on a few fingers that had been pricked and pinched by the back of the stud she was fixing, “Yes, that was her. I have a thing for glasses.”

“Do tell.” I leaned forward, resting my chin in my hands. Aelita smirked with a glance up at me as if to say of course Jeremie left her with something to be attracted to.

“It's just that...no one stays. That's all.”

My smirk dropped to quiet concern as I watched Aelita bend the spokes of the studs back into place, her fingers red and sore. She lightly shook the vest, then laid it out flat, smoothing the studs and looking forlorn.

“Whether they're all just 'experimenting', or they don't know who they are yet, or they're too scared, or it was all fake to begin with—no one stays.”

“Princess...,”

Aelita bit her lip, hard, until I couldn't see the color anymore. At the very least she hadn't applied lipstick yet, if she was even going to. But even though she was biting it I could see that she was quivering from her chin to her brow, her cheeks flushing red and her eyes watering as she tried not to sniffle.

“A-All it really boils down to is no one wants to stay. If they even could like me like that, they don't like me enough to try to stay.”

I opened my mouth to call her princess again, but nothing came out. Anything I could've said I realized she would have already thought of. Clenching my jaw, swallowing, and unclenching, I stared at my friend, barely able to keep it together with her shaking shoulders.

I had always been used to people pursuing me, I never gave any thought that it wasn't normal. Like, sure, I barely even thought about many of the girls who had schoolyard crushes on me (I didn't want to think, and at times it was a complete nuisance, I just wanted to be alone and I didn't reciprocate what they felt or thought they felt) but in my case it had always been a constant. Moving back to Germany did something to quell it, since I became the weird quiet kid with no friends that warranted a bubble of space around me. But I had almost never been actively searching for reciprocated feelings. They were just always going to be there if I decided to accept them—like I briefly did with Emily, far before Aelita came to earth.

But here, even if Aelita and another girl kissed, there was no guarantee of reciprocation. And here, I had no idea what that felt like. All I could do was look at the way my friend's face contorted like it was made of ash.

No one ever stayed. Not for her.

And I was the only one to know about this.

I slid down from her bed to the floor, placing a hand over the studs she had just fixed so she would look up at me.

“I know it's not what you're looking for, Princess,” I assured her lowly, “But, I stayed. Even after you tricked me or whatever.”

[pic – small aelita smile]

“The others are also here for you too, you know,” I said gently, knowing that it still didn't mean she would tell secrets to them.

“And...that's what I'm afraid of, in a sense,” Aelita shrugged, swallowing, “I mean, the others stay too, you're right. But you know very well that I'm driving them insane with this—you and me. Especially Jeremie. I wasn't expecting it, but all this fake-dating you and I have been doing forced some of Jeremie's...colors out into the air, you know?”

She sighed, slipping the denim vest onto her shoulders. As she stood up I moved back up to the bed, watching her.

“Right now, he's...banking his decisions and actions on the idea that if you just weren't here, he'd still have a chance with me. He may be incredibly immature and stupid about it, but in his mind I'm still a possibility, right?”

I was afraid to answer, but I did so.

“If this is how he acts when I'm taken...imagine what he would do if he found out he never and no longer has a chance.”

Fuck.

“There's...there is a slight chance that he might lighten up, once he knew,” I spoke past the lump in my throat, made of the same ash that her facial expression was made of.

“Do I want to take that chance...?”

I took my time thinking about it, weighing the options first from Aelita's view, then from Jeremie's, and finally from my own. If it went badly, would the group split? If so of course I would be on Aelita's side, and if so the brief confrontation in the factory when I pushed Jeremie against the wall would turn into a daily all-out war. Splitting the group was the last thing we needed when our common enemy would always really be XANA, drama or no drama between us. For fuck's sake, just the simple act of letting me into the group split it down the middle enough; Odd and Aelita with me, Yumi and Jeremie more or less against me, even now.

Then I thought about all the time and nights I would spend with Aelita, more likely than not watching the back of her head as she sobbed and screamed into her pillows. I thought about the words she'd spew, calling Jeremie an idiot but moreso damning herself for being the reason for the civil war in the first place. Maybe Jeremie wouldn't do anything physically dangerous or harmful to her. Maybe.

But the fact that we had to have this conversation was harm enough.

I finally answered, “I wouldn't. This...isn't important for him to know. Not now. Maybe not ever.”

“Fuck...,” Aelita swore, then pressed the back of her hand to one eye, catching bubbling tears, “I used to be able to talk about anything and everything with him. With any of you.”

Stab. Twist. And it wasn't even me she was talking about.

Her phone buzzed. She leaned over her desk, picking it up and reading it without retracting. A small sigh that was disgusted but nowhere near the emotional intensity of the conversation we were just having left her, and she straightened up, replying.

“Christophe broke his collarbone body-surfing over the weekend, so he needs help setting up tonight—but apparently Jim doesn't know half of what he's talking about, so I guess I have to leave earlier than planned,” Aelita inhaled, recollecting herself, and made last-minute adjustments in the mirror.

“You look fine,” I tried to provide as she fussed. She didn't glance back as she pulled simple lipstick out.

“Shut up,” she retorted, “I will be the judge of when I look the way I want to look.”

“Oh-kay,” I gave in, standing up since she was going to be leaving soon. Aelita kept staring at herself.

“Going back to your room?” she asked.

“Dunno. Do you want me at the concert?”

She sighed, “Up to you. It's not like it's homecoming or prom or something. Just a three day weekend.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Odd is out on a date with Sam at the movies, Yumi is taking the time off to spend with her family, and Jeremie is being Jeremie. You sure?”

“Yes,” Aelita said flatly as she smacked her lips, “I'm sure. You do what you want—it just means that I let my friends do what they want to do, so if Jeremie wants to refuse to come to my concerts time and time again because he thinks it's a waste of time better spent throwing feathers at a brick wall to fight XANA, then so be it.”

“Has...has he ever come to one of your concerts?”

Aelita capped the lipstick and put it away, “No.”

[pic – ready for the show]

“He can't just say he's lonely, he always has to have an excuse of needing help with something or other. And he always makes a point to ask me about it when he knows I want to do the concert if there are no obvious interruptions, setting himself up for disappointment. Then, of course, he complains I've changed too much. To me, it'd be a nice change to see him at the concert but...That's fine. He does what he wants. And I do what I want.”

[pic – reese blocking her from the door]

“Just a sec,” I stopped her. She looked at me, expectantly. I took a thumb and brushed an eyelash from her cheek. Then I smirked, looking at the pained but staunchly independent person she had become. She was a long way from Lyoko, and by missing her growing up I got to appreciate how far she had come in my absence. I let her through into the hallway with a comical bow that she certainly didn't miss. Throwing my arm over her shoulder after she locked the door, I walked her to the stairs, still smirking.

“Sure you changed, but you're still a princess, no matter what Jeremie does.”

Aelita smirked back with a small chuckle, “See, this is why you're still him to me.”

“Hey now...,”

Aelita reached up and eased her hand around my shoulder, tilting her head into me, “You were the first to call me princess and you still call me princess.”

“Tch. Fine.” I accepted.

[pic – the two of them]

“Good luck out there, princess. Maybe I'll swing by,” I called down the stairs after stopping at the boys' dormitory floor. Aelita paused, her hands still on the railing as she turned to smile up at me.

“I'd like that.”

I waved and retreated back into my room.

It was a hard choice. Odd was out for the evening, leaving me with some actual peace and quiet in my own room. But then, Aelita was DJ-ing for the concert, or at least half the concert, trading off with Christophe whenever she needed lest she accidentally induced a seizure. Pills could only do so much after all. If anything it just showed how much she was absolutely determined to keep doing what she liked doing, no matter who said what about anything.

Just ten minutes of rest, then. I didn't have anything particularly great to wear to the concert, but that wouldn't stop me from showing up anyways. Ten minutes.

[pic – jeremie SMASH]

I forgot that ten minutes was fifty in Jeremie-time.

“The absolute fuck, four-eyes?!” I snapped, “I—what the fuck?!”

“Where's Odd?!” Jeremie demanded, the only regards he gave me. Pitching myself up on my elbow, I dug a pinky into my ear. I'm sure it would ring for a bit, since the door slammed open right next to my head.

“He's out at a fuckin' movie with his girlfriend, why the hell do you want to know?” I kept the comment that Jeremie should've known from the get-go to myself.

“He's not answering his phone and there's a XANA attack!”

I grumbled, sitting up and swinging my legs over the side of the bed, grumpy despite the emergency, “Yeah no shit, he's at a movie theater.”

Jeremie huffed indignant and impatient, “I promised Yumi I would let her have the weekend!! She's been needing one for ages, I just can't call her instead!”

I squinted at him.

“Aelita literally just left early for her concert to help set up and probably hasn't even done anything yet.”

It was like flicking a light switch. Jeremie became rigid and pale with repressed anger, clenching his jaw and swallowing hard. Leaning forward and giving him an even more scrutinizing gaze than before, I raised my eyebrows to encourage him to speak his fucking mind.

“No.” he replied, curt and dark, “She's busy.”

If I really wanted to, I could've laid into him then—calling him every name in my book of swears, shouted things that I knew would deeply deeply hurt him since I used to know him so well; I could've really stuck a knife in his gut and watched him stare at me, dumb. But instead I opted for the other route, and smirked like a bastard.

“Well, guess that just leaves you with me, huh, four-eyes?”

He tightened his lips to a tight purse, a tell-tale sign that he was absolutely furious. But he held back his words and snapped his agreement. Apparently no matter how bad I was to him, it was not nearly as bad as Aelita.

Not that I didn't believe Aelita when she told me, but seeing his resentment first-hand was a little...staggering.

Einstein was too silent as he marched and led me through the woods and the sewers. Not once did he look back in my direction or hesitate as if he was contemplating to pick Aelita up along the way. Not once did he answer any of my innocuous questions—what's the attack, what is XANA doing, are you sure we can handle this on our own? Nope. Nothing.

Absolute silence.

That's what that feels like, huh.

XANA worked fast. By the time we reached the bridge the sky was dark and the clouds thick, moving with wind that blew my jacket horizontal as we approached the bridge of the factory. Part of me wanted to grab Jeremie's shoulder, lest his weak ass get shot off across the country. Instead I trudged forward, keeping my feet firm and planted as I stepped ahead of him to block the wind from his frame. Water from the river crashed and swirled, threatening to reach up and swallow us whole. An undercurrent from that would be a death trap for sure.

[pic – looking back]

“Should I hazard a guess this is XANA's doing, or is that too obvious?” I called back over the roaring wind as if he was a hundred paces away instead of just two steps. Jeremie, still struggling even though I was blocking half the wind, somehow managed to glower at me before gripping his glasses to ensure they didn't fly off and tried to push forward.

[pic – the bridge gets struck by lightning and crumbles]

[pic – jeremie falls away]

“Jeremie!”

[pic – no choice but to go in after him]

Even if it had been the smoothest dive in the world, hitting the water was like hitting a brick wall. Immediately I was shoved to the side more like a conveyor belt than a river, the current unwrapping my limbs and pinwheeling me forward. Fuck it hurt like hell, but I didn't have time to muse. If Jeremie had hit anything on the way down, or if a piece of the bridge had hit him, he was fucking dead. Boom. Just like that. He wouldn't even be awake to drown.

The water wasn't exactly clean to start with, and the harsh currents billowed up silt from the bottom making visibility poor. Goggles would've hardly helped. Coupled with the dark sky above, I had no choice but to stay under and pray I could find him.

[pic – water hazards make the tensest of scenes]

No. Shit. There was no way. Not without going deeper, into the point of no return. I flipped around.

Shit.

[pic - surfacing]

Shit.

I swam with the current, angling myself to scrape against the concrete embankment until my stupid hands caught onto the broken slab, slicing my fingers open. Unable to feel the pain from the sheer cold of the water and the panic in my chest, I pulled myself on shore, panting, heaving, ignoring the bright red flowing out of my hands. Pulling my sopping ass onto level ground, I turned and looked frantically at the chaotic water, lips shivering. Barely able to form words.

“Jer...J-Jer...,”

No. No. Just like that?! Just fucking like that?! After everything we had all been through, here or there, every close call, just to crash down all on a fucking split-second?!

“Jere...Jeremie...?”

All this for nothing?

No, there had to be something I could do, something else. There was always another way, Jeremie always believed so. I don't know what it would do, but I was already preparing myself to get up and fucking run as fast as I could to the factory to launch a return trip, activated tower be damned. Doing so couldn't have been as bad as having it happen with a clone still active.

But I was on the far, far side of the factory. The lab and everything else was under the main hall, and I wasn't even sure there was a way to get there from here. Surely not a time-efficient way, at that. No. No...

I stared at the shifting water, eyes blurring up.

What would I tell the others? Sorry, he just fucking fell in the river and died? Nothing I could do? Just let the guy who considered me his rival, no big deal!

Belpois.

Stern.

My foot slipped, rolling my leg to the side and making me feel pathetic. The more I sat there the less time I had to do anything about it, but then there was nothing to do about it. Gone. Just like that.

Cough.

[pic – Reese perks the fuck up]

Coughing. A choke and a gasp for air cut short by more choking and coughing. I scrambled to my feet, slipped on the wet concrete, ignored the scrape and started running. There, gripping a partially submerged drainage pipe, was a soaked blonde head of hair. Jeremie threw his head back against the current, desperate to keep it above water and try to breathe. My eyes widened as water crashed against his head and lapped up into his mouth despite his best efforts, and I slid down making sure to keep a death grip on the embankment.

[pic – grab him by the hair]

Jeremie wouldn't let go of the drainage pipe but his half-choked throat made it very clear that perhaps yanking on his hair wasn't the most comfortable of ways to rescue him. But I couldn't afford to care. Knowing XANA, the water would keep rising and the storm would worsen so long as he had one of us on death row. I glanced down the river at the destroyed bridge, wondering if the others had realized what was going on by now and were on their way.

“Jeremie, come on, you gotta get up!” I shouted over the roaring water. Jeremie coughed and spat, shaking his head in my grasp. There were several incredibly pathetic attempts at speaking before he finally managed to blurt, fully indignant and voice cracking.

“I'm stuck!”

Fucking...Of course.

“Stuck,” I said, incredulous, “Stuck how.”

Jeremie stuttered, struggling to fix it without my help, “M-My leg...,”

“Alright,” I looked at the monstrous torrent around the drainage pipe that must've been kicking Jer around mercilessly, “Alright, shit.”

Slipping my feet along the concrete in hesitation, I tried to calculate how to wrench him free. Jeremie continued to cough and sputter, blind both from his lack of glasses and the murky water. How much did he swallow, how much pushed its way up his nostrils? How long would his strength last? Fuck it. There was no easy way to do this.

Taking care to secure my arm around the drainage pipe, I fell back into the water opposite of Jeremie. The river was colder than I remembered and I gave a cry of shock. Shock? Well if we didn't drown maybe we'd die of that instead. Thanks, XANA. I reached down, floundering until I felt Jeremie's shoe. To my dismay his leg was definitely stuck, but it was stuck beyond his foot—past his ankle to the lower portion of his shin.

“How the fuck,” I griped, trying to pull his shoe off. Jeremie didn't answer; I wasn't even sure he really heard me. Fine. Work now, complain later. The shoe came off and I let it be carried away by the current. Sucking in a breath, I ducked into the water to push against the flat of his foot. It wouldn't budge. Resurfacing, I gasped and looked across at him.

“Jer, Four-eyes, can you hear me?”

He coughed and spat water, “I lost my glasses, I'm not four-eyes. And don't—,” wave of water, choking fit, “Don't call me Jer.”

“Fuck off, Four-eyed Jer,” I snapped, “Also, this is gonna hurt.”

Jeremie redoubled his grip on the pipe despite my rampant desire to do exactly the opposite of what he wanted, lifting himself to try and visualize what was going on, glasses or no. Sniffing in neither approval nor disgust as I curled my leg, I took in a breath of preparation. Ducked into the water to line it up properly. Released.

I kick hard, no matter if it's out of or in the water. Jeremie's leg barely had a chance, jarred loose by the force of the kick. He screamed bloody murder, and I'm sure the roaring sound of water and storm drowned out a resonating crack from the bones in his leg. Water rushed into his mouth as he screamed, silencing him as his eyelids frantically fluttered and he slid limply into the river.

[pic – catching him]

I pulled him snug against me and kicked against the current to help bring the both of us to shore. Jeremie flailed, having clearly been shocked back to life as every time his mouth came above water he pierced my ears with screams of pain. Didn't matter that the river would inevitably fill his mouth to quiet him for my sake, he still screamed when he could. I would've loved to have called him a crybaby were it not for his one leg not kicking like the other. There was no way it wasn't broken—maybe even shattered. I grit my teeth and dug my fingers back into the concrete embankment, pulling us both flush against it. Summoning the last of my strength from the adrenaline that was quickly fading due to the icy water, I pushed Jer through the last of the current and up onto the concrete. He looked like an absolute drowned rat, and a fairly upset one at that. Uh. No hard feelings about breaking your fucking leg, right, Jer?

Out of nowhere, once the water was only to his waist, he started struggling against me with his puny arms. Scowling, I pushed harder to get him out faster, thus causing him to seethe through his teeth as he scraped against the embankment. Yeah, yeah, you hate me, whatever, I just saved your ass so just—

“I can do it myself!!” he screeched, swatting at my hands with more fervor than before now that everything but his legs were ashore. His nails clipped the skin of my arm, and that combined with his screech made me let go in shock, watching with wide dumbfounded eyes as he dragged his weak body onto the patches of grass beyond the concrete. Realizing I looked like an idiot, I hardened my expression and pulled myself up after him while he nursed his broken leg.

[pic – dang that really hurts there huh eh]

He was crying. I'm not sure if it was just because of his leg, either.

Deciding to let him have some semblance of decency, I looked out to the storming river, rain finally falling from the swollen, angry clouds. Neither of us cared much, already soaked and shivering to oblivion. Jeremie tried to hide the fact that he was crying, but there were cold sniffles and there were crying sniffles, and I knew the difference pretty damn well.

“You're welcome, by the way,” I said once I determined he had had his moment of privacy. Jeremie scowled, the expression looking painfully comical on his face.

“I can swim just fine. I didn't need your help!” He spat. I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah you were swimming just perfectly with your foot stuck.”

“You broke my leg!”

“I saved your fucking life! You're welcome!”

“If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have had to have had my life saved!”

I scoffed, waving my arms incredulously, “Oh, so, what, you're saying I struck the bridge with lightning?!”

“No! I'm saying we all would've gone to the factory and managed to get to Lyoko, together, and we wouldn't be fighting anything but XANA, which is how it should be!”

“Sure, yeah,” I sneered, “And then all four of you would've wound up in the river and for sure someone would've actually died.”

Scoffing again, I stretched my legs out to reach the edge of the concrete, which the water was quickly rising to meet, “But I do agree with you on one thing. If XANA's such a bigass problem, then yeah, that should be the only thing you're fighting.”

Jeremie mimicked my sneer, “Are you dense? Trying to be wise like that?! You're the problem! If you were gone, everything would be back to normal!”

Normal?

Right now, he's...banking his decisions and actions on the idea that if you just weren't here, he'd still have a chance with me. He may be incredibly immature and stupid about it, but in his mind I'm still a possibility, right?

If this is how he acts when I'm taken...imagine what he would do if he found out he never and no longer has a chance.

Do I want to take that chance...?

Or what Jeremie thought was normal?

My face darkened, and eye-rolling was replaced with threatening glares. Too bad Jeremie's vision was so fucked he couldn't see the intensity—which probably was a good thing, but I wanted him to feel how angry and disappointed I was with him. To the point where I could feel heat in my hands as my fingers curled inwards into fists to match the guttural darkness of my voice.

“Normal, huh,” I glowered, “Guess she wasn't the kind of normal you thought she was.”

“I know everything about her!” Jeremie was quick to defend, “Or I did, until you! Why she went with you, I'll never understand—and people agreed with me, until Aelita had a seizure and you helped her in front of everyone!”

“Uh,” I twisted my mouth, failing to see the relevance, “Fucking anyone would've helped her?”

[pic – JEREMIE YELL]

“I'm not just anyone!! I told you I could've saved myself and I would've! I'm a good swimmer!”

“Jer, you are not making any goddamn sense. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.”

His legs shifted like he wanted to stand up and tower over me to prove his point, but he quickly remembered that one of them was broken, so he had to settle for sitting in a pathetic puddle of muck-water and rain, pretending he wasn't adding tears to the mix.

“Her head! Her seizures! She fell into the pool during class and I had to save her!!”

[pic – a bad memory]

The seizure at the pool. I furrowed my brow in concentration, cocking one upwards after a moment and regarding Jeremie eye-to-eye.

“Alright. She mentioned that, but if it's so damn heroic of you why don't—,”

Oh.

Jeremie's wrecked expression said it all as it dawned on me. A return trip had to be launched. No one remembered his heroism, and when they went back in time Aelita was prepared and didn't fall into the pool unexpectedly. And since it happened in class, Jim would've been the one to tend to her and would've pushed other students away—which didn't happen the first time around because Jeremie was used to acting on his feet.

“Four-eyes...,” Despite the bullying nickname my voice had softened in sympathy, although not exactly losing the darkness behind it, “None of that was my fucking fault.”

Jeremie breathed through his teeth, bits of saliva and rainwater spitting out in time to his rising and falling shoulders, “It wasn't until you came here.”

“Again, I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.”

“Do you want me to just tell you why you screw everything up, or do you need it in chronological order and in list form?!” Jeremie snapped.

[pic – ugh for real]

“Oh, please.” I said, monotonous to Jeremie's obliviousness, “I'm so unaware.”

He opened his mouth as though he was going to start telling me all the ways I was fucked up, but the tone of my voice finally hit him and he shut it, glaring at me the best he could with his nearsightedness. Crossing his arms like a sulking child would, he turned away, pushing his lower lip out. I assume that it wasn't supposed to look comical, that it was supposed to be taken more seriously than it looked, but, y'know. Maybe I was just more of an asshole than I thought.

“If you're so aware why don't you do anything to fix it?”

“I don't know,” I mimicked him by pushing out my lower lip even though he couldn't see, my gaze sharp as Aelita still hung in my mind, “If you know everything about Aelita, why don't you fix any of the problems you have with her?”

Jeremie whipped his head back around, “That's none of your business—!”

His sentence ended with a small gckt of shock as I grabbed his shirt and whipped him far more forward than he was planning on. Face-to-face, I could see his eyes focus and him shudder in fear as I finally became clear to him. Not finding the need to bare my teeth, my voice came out smooth like the steel of a sword. Dark, cutting deep.

“Aelita's my girlfriend, fucker. If you have problems with her, you make it my business.”

I had no idea where any of that came from, why it came out so easily, or how I could create that tone of voice. It was one of those things where you don't realize your heart's racing until everything is said and done and things feel marginally safe again. An action drawn out of righteous fury that you can't control but it drove you to do the right thing as if it was simply instinctual. Jeremie froze in my grasp and I held him like that, breathing through my nose like brimstone smoke was curling out of my nostrils. It had truly been the first time any of my original friends had seen anything remotely resembling any sort of protectiveness over Aelita when she wasn't around—Odd included. Hell, I vaguely remembered telling Odd we weren't dating, just to avoid the subject so I wouldn't have to defend us together. This, however—this was a different matter.

Jeremie moved, more akin to a twitching cricket than a human being, and gulped before he finally gathered the courage to speak, “S-She's the one who has problems with m—,”

“You've got two options,” I continued, my tongue still steel, “Either you think of a way to rephrase that, or you tell me in detail what her problems are with you.”

He went silent, trying to contemplate. I was through being patient and tightened my grip on him until he made a pathetic little sound. He opened his mouth, then closed it. Opened. Closed it in a wet squiggly line that pulled towards the ground. Eyes pulling from me and dropping to the puddles of water in the grass, Jeremie bit his lip. Thought kept him from doing much else, and I watched his gaze slowly go down to his broken leg, then to the encroaching river, and finally to the far shore. He sniffed—crying again. I loosened my grip, regaining some patience. If I wasn't careful I would simply be intimidating the answers I wanted to hear out of him. That would put him in a position I'd been in far too many times to feel comfortable at the thought of inflicting that on someone else. Suddenly wary, I let him go completely. His ass sat back on the soaked ground with an almost inaudible plop.

[pic – staring out]

There were a few times where it looked like he was going to talk, where his face contorted in anger like he had found a fallacy in what I was forcing him to do. But after more thought it soon evaporated and he went back to simply staring out. Rephrasing his words into a different sentence was easy, but Jeremie had a penchant for taking the harder route. Plus, listing all of Aelita's grievances against him should've been working in his favor.

But every time he opened his mouth, it shut again. Rain continued to pour, turning into sheets. Soon we'd have to be yelling to be heard, so I kept my eyes on his mouth, counting the times he tried to speak but never did. Waiting.

“...No,” Jeremie mumbled after a while, ducking his chin down to his soaked shirt, “Nevermind. It doesn't matter.”

“You're goddamn right it doesn't,” I grumbled, “And trust me, the more you make it matter the more it hurts Aelita,”

“I'm not trying to hurt her,” Jeremie protested, wrapping his arms tightly around himself, “I've only ever tried to help her!”

“See, that's the difference between you and me, Jeremie,” using his full name made him flinch like he had been bitten by a horsefly, “I don't make fucking excuses when I hurt people.”

“You're wrong. The difference between us is you want to hurt people.”

“Sure,” I rectified, “That means I know when and how I hurt them, instead of telling them that I'm only trying to help and nothing else.”

I knew we were already freezing, but Jeremie considerably blanched at my words. My voice was soft, dangerous with the knowledge that I was correct, “Sound familiar?”

Jeremie dropped his face into his knees and over the rain I could barely hear him retort, “What do you know?”

“Apparently I know Aelita more than you do, now.” I brought my gavel down much more gently than I thought I would. I didn't have to be harsh to be so direct, because the pain I was causing—pain without harm—was clear to see in front of me as Jeremie squirmed, looking up at me with his blonde hair plastered over one eye and pouting lip collecting rainwater and tears alike. He tried to retort, fight against it, but he couldn't. He could only stare, with his blurry, practically useless vision.

“I-I just...,” he tried to protest, jamming a clumsy thumb into the corner of his eye to wipe tears away to be replaced with raindrops, “I wish she'd talk to me...,”

“Maybe you could try listening,” I answered gruffly. Jeremie's hand dropped into the muck, completely defeated. Everything that I had forced him to think about was raging behind his porcelain-still features. Fragility was Jeremie's claim to fame, I just wished it was only physical fragility instead of emotional fragility.

“I j-just...,” his voice was barely a whisper above the storm, “I want things to be the way they were...before all this happened. Happier. And not...Not this,” Jeremie pressed the heel of his palm against his forehead, folded into a loose fetal position, “Whatever this is, I want it to stop.”

Staring at him, I found my own vision crossed and blurred as if I was subconsciously trying to see where the boy had come from. See that scrappy nerd leading me through the sewers on a madman's expedition to an abandoned factory, see him turn to me to make sure I was still there, his chin scraping against a sweater his mom surely bought for him that he was scuffing up by being in such derelict places. See the boy that eagerly showed me Aelita's face for the first time on the monitor of a computer straight from science fiction. See the boy whose only goal was to get the girl out and shut the evil down.

Perhaps he had twisted himself in some way, but there must've still been that boy alive inside of him somewhere. I could barely see it, and I'm sure Aelita saw it too. That's what made her hurt so much, seeing him become this puppet of his former self. Fanatical over her, fanatical over his role in XANA's defeat, real world be damned. Real world be damned for him and whoever was in his crusade.

Good intentions pave the road to hell, huh.

I stood up.

“You want this to stop? Then do something about it. This XANA of yours attacks, you put a stop to it, right? Because if you do nothing, nothing will change.”

[pic – offering his hand]

“So? Wanna go save the world?”

Jeremie looked at my hand, then up at me, skeptical, “And? You're not really the inspirational type, what's in it for you, why even tag along?”

I gave the hardest glance at his broken leg that I know he couldn't really make out, and looked back at him, smirking, “C'mon, Four-eyes, what if you get attacked by a hairdryer and I'm not around? Not being able to walk aside, I wouldn't want to miss that for the world.”

He gave me a long, unbroken stare. Some rusty old wheels were turning in his mind, way in the back of it. Wheels he hadn't given a turn in quite some time. My smirk grew as I saw him trying to work out why what I said was making him think harder than usual. Strange to have a weird phrase blast you from the past, isn't it, Belpois?

He blinked, shaking his head. It didn't seem like he had come to the correct conclusion, or what I had said was too much of a coincidence to be a direct quote of something I said to him years ago, right before he showed me the factory—if he even remembered it as where that had come from anyways.

[pic – take my hand if you want to live]

[pic – slinging him around the shoulder]

It took some doing, walking Jeremie around the embankment looking for an entrance into the factory. He had studied the maps before, sure, but they rarely if ever came to this area. The longer we searched, the higher the river got. Finally we found a small staircase leading upwards and to a door that had long since been bolted and rusted shut. Setting Jeremie down on a stair, I kicked the filthy glass of a window until it shattered, nearly losing my balance in the process. I crawled in first, dropping to the floor and opening my arms to catch Jeremie. After a small threat that I would just drop him if he didn't hurry his ass up, Jeremie dragged himself over the ledge and ungracefully flopped over.

“Right, now what?” I asked, slinging him around my shoulder again.

“You're gonna have to be my eyes,” Jeremie muttered, just as happy with that prospect as I was, “There's two ways to get over to the other side: above the river, or below it.”

On cue, a clap of thunder rippled its way over head, shaking shards free from the broken window. It echoed and reverberated in the factory, the ghost of abandoned machinery singing in response. I shuddered a little, water dripping from my skin as I did so.

“Call me a pessimist,” I grumbled as I located a rickety staircase leading down to the ground floor and looking for faded signs for an entrance to a basement, “But I don't wanna have lightning strike us twice and fall into the river again.” Jeremie looked for a moment like he was going to agree with me with a small smirk, but he quickly hid it and swallowed the urge. I shrugged him onto my shoulders better and trekked onwards, finding the tunnel we needed.

Unfocused eyes occasionally glanced up at the scar on my cheek. Occasionally became frequently, until Jeremie was staring at me. I glanced over once. Very impolite of you, Jer, I was starting to feel self-conscious; especially with the hairdryer comment I made earlier.

“Keep staring and I'll have to start calling you No-eyes,” I warned, echoing down the tunnel that was becoming pitch black. Jeremie took a moment, pulling his phone out of his pocket. I assumed it had been waterlogged, but he must have had a special case or modification, because when he pressed the home button it flickered to life. Well. Wasn't surprising that this wasn't the first time they'd been tossed into the water. Without bringing attention to it he turned the flashlight on, shining down the long, damp tunnel. Once that was done, he again looked up at me.

“Nothing,” he muttered, “Just starting to see why Aelita likes you,”

[pic – let jer's body hit the floor]

I looked down at Jeremie, the flashlight from his fallen phone blinding one of my eyes. Frowning until it was almost a scowl, I watched him hiss and scrabble to hold his broken leg. Gingerly massaging the muscle above the break, he breathed through his teeth. Once he had gotten his shit together and was probably able to listen I spoke.

“I'm not doing this so you have a better impression of me,” I growled, low and waiting for Jeremie to glance back up at me before I continued, “This isn't for you, either. It's for Aelita. And only Aelita.”

Jeremie frowned.

“Capiche?” I asked. He looked down and nursed his broken leg more.

“Capiche...,” he answered after a while.

“Good.” I reached down and helped him back on up onto his good foot. Black dust and bits of mold clung to his wet clothes from the floor, and he struggled to brush it off as I started moving without his consent. Hopping awkwardly to try and meet his pace, Jeremie eventually gave up and resumed his position as a flashlight.

Neither of us said more than necessary as we navigated the bowels of the factory, Jeremie giving directions and me figuring out that describing what I was seeing was a much more difficult task than I was prepared for. Maybe it was just because Jeremie was so meticulous and specific, but even though we had a few hiccups we made it work without blowing up at each other. Once we were out of the tunnel I could dimly hear it start to collapse, water pooling at our feet. No time to lose. Einstein guided me to the console room, having me shut the flood doors before leaving him for the scanners.

Joint deactivation.

Alright.

[pic – forest sector]

I can do this.

[pics – reese foiling but not destroying a chimera via a net of vines]

[pics – jeremie guiding reese on joint deactivation]

[pic – reese + code lyoko]

A return trip launched. I found myself in Aelita's room again. This time, she told me what happened at Kadic. Water had began to flood the gymnasium, causing electrical shortages and sparks everywhere. They had to stack whatever they could on stage and start feeding people up into the rafters, knocking down lights wherever they could in order to avoid as many shocks as possible. I was incredibly thankful I wasn't around for that. Extreme heights over electrified water sounded like a less fun time than usual. Nothing seemed very different from a normal attack, with the exception that Jeremie and I had managed to work together to deactivate the tower. Aelita smiled at that, small, reserved, but a genuine smile. I put my hands on her shoulders.

“Hey. It was for you more than him. I promise I gave him a piece of my mind.”

“God forbid,” her smile softened, “Imagine Jeremie trying to pull half the shit you pull.”

“He was already tryin' to,” I smirked, “I mean, until the real deal shut him up.”

“Don't get too full of yourself,” Aelita teased as she already texted Christophe that she was coming down to help before he could ask for it, “You're only able to pull this off with my help, and don't you forget it.”

Before she opened her door to leave I pulled her into a hug that no one was allowed to see, “You know I won't.”

Next stop, Jeremie's room.

Maybe it was strange for me to do so, but it's not like I forced Jeremie to do anything he wasn't going to do. All I did was show up at his door and stand in the doorway, crossing my arms and staring at him. The concert started in one hour. He didn't have to go.

But I was going. For Aelita more than myself. There wasn't going to be a brighter opportunity for Jeremie to show that maybe he was willing to promise something more to her than just his wishes. It wasn't a guarantee that he would change, in fact it wouldn't guarantee anything.

So long as it made Aelita happy, even for just a moment, it was worth it.

[pic – the concert]

[pic – jeremie standing a safe distance from reese]

“It's loud,” Jeremie complained in monotone, “There's too many people.”

“Nobody's asking you to like this,” I said, watching Aelita perform on stage. A smile was on her face, one that the others rarely saw. A smile of passion in creativity. Homeliness she could only find within herself. None of us were qualified to be able to bring it out of her, but there was no harm in cheering her on when it did. I looked over at Jeremie, wondering if I needed to elaborate in order to get it through his thick skull. Colorful lights from overhead danced on his glasses, but looking just behind the lenses I could see that he was mesmerized by Aelita's presence on stage.

He swallowed, and I imagined his pride going down with it.

With a small, jagged and stuttering nod, Jeremie turned around and left. There was no way to know just how much he understood, if he even understood any of it at all. But at least he had seen it. I turned back to where Aelita was still on stage even though her song was wrapping up. She had picked me out from the crowd and was beaming at me in a way I didn't know she could.

She had seen that Jeremie was there.

Barely giving Christophe a nod of acknowledgment as he took over for her even though he was wrapped up in a brace, Aelita bounded off stage, weaving her way to me. Her hands clasped my arms and her eyes shone from the strength of her smile.

“You stick out like a sore thumb here, you know that?” she shouted over the crowd. I tensed up, suddenly awkward.

“Aw c'mon, I came here to see you, not to dance,” I tried to squirm my way out of it, but Aelita was too high on the moment. Though she let me go, she laughed as though I was joking.

“Well, I'm here to dance—so can I ask you to a dance?”

“Uh—,” she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the thicket of people.

“Don't lie! I know you used to dance!” she laughed back at me.

Well. She wasn't wrong, as usual. No time like the present.

[pics – dancin!!!!!!]

Oblivious to anyone else, we ended the night with the stragglers of the party, pleasantly exhausted and picking up enough of the pieces so that there wouldn't be so much of a mess for tomorrow's crew to clean up. Aelita (gently) hugged Christophe good night, and we escorted each other back to the dorms, hushed from sleepiness but smiling all the same. It had been too long since I had felt and accepted dim, warm happiness like this. Hell, it had been so long that it was more like I didn't allow myself to feel this way. From the warm, proud look in Aelita's eyes from seeing me in such bliss, that was probably the right assumption to make. I ruffled her already unkempt hair for a good night, and retired to my dorm immediately, flopping onto my bed to pass out without even checking to see if Odd had made it back from his date with Sam or not.

It was good.

Waking up late the following vacation day was dream-like. The sun was warm but not hot, the breeze cool but not too strong, and the leaves were broad enough to cast mottled shadows in the sunshine. Despite how good the past day went, I had a need to avoid people. For once it wasn't even malicious or anti-social, I just felt tuckered out and I needed a day to rest—back in my forest where it wasn't night and it wasn't dark and I could just sit and doze undisturbed. Odd was halfway off his bed, face down and snoring from the poor position anyways—I was aching to get out and away and spend some time to recuperate in the fresh air.

I walked, mildly enchanted by the day and relieved that for once I was relaxed enough that I wasn't thinking about anything other than what was in front of me at that moment. Give it time, maybe an hour or two, and my thoughts would turn back on themselves, which meant that I had to savor the relief as much as possible.

Something too big to be a woodland creature scrambled and crashed through the undergrowth, struggling to stay on its feet. I swiveled on my heel, confused more than annoyed. I hadn't even gotten that far from the school grounds yet, I could still hear the sleepy buzzing of the courtyard if I strained my ears enough. In fact, it hadn't been too far away from where I had taken Vivi to talk with her soon after she ran to Kadic, crying and scared she wouldn't have a place to call home. (On the second rendition of the day, of course.)

The fact that that's what I recognized the place as became a sort of cruel irony as Vivi herself pulled her small body from the undergrowth. Blinking rapidly to clear the shock from my mind, I dropped to one knee, offering my hands for her to grasp and pull herself up, swinging her away from the courtyard if she was being pursued. Another crying spell? Why didn't she call first?

[pic – the kind of primal fear you only feel when you're in mortal danger :) ]

“Vivs—,”

WHUD.

My head exploded with pain and stars, lasting only the heavy seconds it took for me to crumble to the ground.

[pic – black]

#code lyoko #ulrich stern #iwry #reese anders #yumi ishiyama #aelita stones #aelita hopper #jeremie belpois #brewriting #god it's been forever #i legit thought chapter 20 wasn't even done #but that would be counterintuitive to how i wrote IWRY so #yeah you get two whole chapters. jesus....#i haven't touched this file since 2018

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