#Other than my mutuals I kinda don't want to have people see this actually I'm scared | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cosmicbucky · 7 months

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A chubby reader who's super self conscious of her belly and bust? Like she's strong and stuff, comes with the higher weight, but just....

Cant really wear anything unless it's sweats and a sweater, or a t-shirt. Almost never goes out.

And one day Bucky comes to the compound. Reader immediately gets a crush, and has major anxiety over it, like "leaving the room when he comes near" anxiety. Bucky thinks it's his fault, that he's done something wrong and talks to you about it.

He decides to talk to you about it, crying ensues because insecurities, and then the fluff.

Sorry this ask is so long, I'm kinda scrambled XP

hi, lovely! 💫

first of all, don't apologize for bringing this beautiful request into my world! i was beyond excited to have the chance to bring this idea to life, and i hope the direction i took with it does justice to what you had in mind!

second of all, i am so sorry this took me so long to put out, this request is so lovely and i really wanted to make it the best i could.

i hope you enjoy!

matches

pairing: bucky barnes x midsize!reader

word count: 3974

warnings: insecurities and self consciousness, mild body image issues, brief self depreciating thoughts, angst, mutual pining, fluff, swearing, allusions to mature themes, let me know if i missed anything!

please do not read this if you're not comfortable with any of the above topics. while they are not heavily focused on, they are the main theme of this fic

a/n: big thanks to @buckylattes for reading this and catching some of the dumb ass mistakes i made lmao

《《《《 ♡ 》》》》

Being part of the Rescue and Reconnaissance division of Stark Industries wasn't the most glamorous job, but you loved it. You got to work nearly hand in hand with field agents every day, formulating plans for raids, rescues, infiltrations, or general takedown missions to make sure all those involved worked as safely and efficiently as possible.

You were the one they turned to when a new plan was needed; when they were at risk. There were a few agents who refused to listen to anyone other than you when it came to these times - specifically asking for you to help them through.

Agent Barnes was one of these people, and though you could never voice it, he was your favourite to deal with. He was always kind and courteous, understanding in the fact that despite not being in the same rankings as him, you damn well knew what you were doing. And, well, it didn't hurt that he always found a moment to be a charming little flirt.

You have no idea why he had such faith in you. Maybe it was because you always took what he suggested into consideration when calculating next steps. Maybe it was because your ideas were as crazy as his sometimes. Maybe it was simply because he liked the sound of your voice.

You never knew.

You never actually met him.

All your dealings with field agents were done from the safety of your control room. You never minded it, though. It was nice, in a way. You absolutely loved doing what you do, but you would never be able to handle being around field agents all the time. Not when they look the way they do, and you…. well, you're you.

Your thighs touch when you walk, your belly shakes when you laugh, your arms jiggle when you move. You have to painstakingly pick out the right kinds of shirts, otherwise your chest will make it seem like you're three times as big as you really are.

You were the chubby girl who always hid in the shadows, too afraid to let the world see how bright you truly shine - you were a flame ready to ignite, but no one around you ever offered you a match.

You were used to it. You made peace with it a long time ago, finding solace in your own company instead of relying on other people to enjoy your time with. It still bothered you from time to time, and you let yourself have days where you wallowed in it, wishing things were different, wishing you looked different. Though, for the most part, it stopped bothering you so much the older you got.

Until the day you finally met Bucky.

It was a strange day, being sent to the compound. You've never been sent anywhere before, always planted in your seat while talking to field agents across the world. Yet here you were, being requested by Tony Stark himself.

You must have spent hours trying to find the right outfit. One that showed off your curves without accentuating the extra pudge around your middle. One that complimented your chest without highlighting the size. One that showed off your ass without making it look massive. One that carefully hid your arms. One that you felt comfortable in.

It felt like your heart was in your throat the whole time. The butterflies in your stomach turned into a full on frenzy, and you had to take deep breaths every few seconds to stay calm; and to not throw up.

You barely heard it when Tony said he wanted you working under him. You could hardly process it when he said he created a job just for you. You didn't quite understand it when he told you there was space for you at the compound, and he wanted you here full time.

All you could do was dumbly nod your head, trying to focus on what he was saying instead of the fact that Bucky Barnes was just outside the conference room.

By the time the meeting was over, you felt lightheaded. You clutched the contract you were given against your chest and took a final deep breath before leaving the room, hoping to get by unnoticed. It's not like he even knew who you really were, right?

A gentle calling of your name told you that you were very, very wrong.

Your feet became rooted in place as you squeezed your eyes shut, focusing all you could on calming your nerves before turning around. And jesus christ, nothing could have prepared you for how beautiful this man actually was in person.

"Hi," you breathed out, a tiny shy smile gracing your lips.

"Hi," he said, unintentionally mimicking you.

His eyes travelled over your face before taking their time roaming your body; you shifted uncomfortably and clutched the contract a little tighter as he stayed fixed on you. A smirk graced his lips, but it was gone before you could really focus on it.

"It's, uh-... it's nice to finally meet you, Agent Barnes," you muttered sheepishly, hesitantly offering him your hand.

"You can call me Bucky," he said, smiling warmly as he took your hand in his, sending fire throughout your whole body. "I'd like to say thank you for saving my ass as often as you do, but thank you doesn't seem like enough."

You chuckled, feeling your face flush under his gaze. "'Thank you' suffices just fine, Bucky. I've only been doing my job."

"Speaking of," he started, tilting his head a little as he eyed the contract you held. "You gonna take it?" he asked curiously, his eyes snapping back to yours.

"What?" you asked, caught off guard by his question.

"The job," he said, gesturing between the contract in your hands and the conference room you just occupied. "You gonna say yes?"

"How do you know about that?" you asked curiously.

"I know things," he said passively, shrugging his shoulders. "How 'bout I show you around? You can see the place before you decide anything."

You wanted to say no. You wanted to run away and retreat into yourself once more. Though something about the way he was looking at you made it hard to do so.

So, you agreed.

And that's how everything started.

You took the job, moving into the compound a few days after that. You quickly made friends with the girls, and they became your support group; they would help you when it came to shopping for clothes or finding the right outfit for events. They offered to go for walks with you or do yoga - anything you felt like doing, really. You still felt inferior to them from time to time, but not because they made you feel that way; no one at the compound did.

Only yourself.

When it came to the boys, it was more or less the same thing. You felt comfortable around them, and you never minded close contact or them seeing you in tighter fitting clothes.

Everyone was family, and it never felt awkward or uncomfortable around them.

Except for when it came to Bucky.

You still grew closer to him over the months of you living at the compound so far, but it hasn't been easy. It was a constant challenge, and it grew harder for you day after day.

When it came to you working alongside him on his missions, everything was great. Nothing with him changed, aside from him throwing out a few more flirty comments. And, since you still had the safety net of being behind comms, you threw some right back at him.

Once the missions were over, though, it was hard to be around him. You wanted to be around him, but it was nearly impossible. Your feelings for him grew, and the stronger your feelings were, the more distant you became.

You were careful to only wear sweaters or loose tees paired with sweatpants around him, making sure he would never catch sight of the extra weight you carried around. You quit eating around him; it's not like you had bad eating habits, but you couldn't shake the panic that he would somehow be disgusted, that he would think the reason you're so chubby was because of your diet. You stopped sitting near him during movie nights, and you never hugged him. No matter how much you itched to wrap your arms around him when he came home safe from missions, you couldn't risk him feeling the rolls your body carried, or how soft and pudgy you were.

It was driving Bucky crazy.

From the minute he finally set his eyes on you, he couldn't get you out of his head. He was beyond thrilled when you agreed to Stark's offer, and he couldn't wait to take the opportunity to get to know you - which was a massive step for him. Yet he couldn't shake the feeling he did something to upset you.

He grew more confused every day. When it came to conversing over the comms during missions, you two were like a well oiled machine; giggles and flirting and jokes of previous missions. No one would ever know something was amiss.

Yet when everyone would return home, it was like a switch was flipped. You greeted everyone with hugs and smiles and affection, and Bucky always waited patiently for his turn: but it never came. Instead, you turned to him with an awkward smile and shining eyes and gave him the traditional "welcome home, soldier" that, despite everything, always pulled a smile from his lips.

He racked his brain every night trying to figure out if he did something, if he said something, but he could never come up with anything. He could never find a reason for the way you would some days leave the room as soon as he entered, for why you always hid away from him when he would catch you off guard in workout clothes or formal attire. He could never come up with an explanation and it was eating him alive.

The final straw came for him on the night of Pepper’s birthday party.

He didn’t want to go, he never wanted to go to these things, but ever since you came around he found himself more willing to at least make an appearance; if only to see you. However, he wasn’t even positive if you were going to show up this time, given the way you’ve been so distant lately - and that made him not want to go at all. So he was biding his time, sitting in the kitchen and emptying a bottle of whiskey, trying to not make it obvious that he was waiting to see if you’d wander out of your room before he slipped away to the party.

You stood in front of your mirror for what felt like hours, never before feeling more diffident as you assessed your reflection. You’ve been to some of Tony’s parties before, but this was for Pepper - it was the most grandiose one you’ve attended to date. You weren’t left much choice but to dress your fanciest, and you felt so unfamiliar with your own body as your hands trailed down the fabric of your dress. It was form fitting, hugging every curve you had and accentuating your figure in a way you weren’t used to seeing. The straps were small and the cut was low, it travelled midcalf and had a small slit up the side, showing way more of your leg than you wanted. You had a burning desire to change, but Nat insisted you looked incredible, and Wanda already applied a touch of makeup to match the dress - not to mention you were already running late as it was.

With one last heavy sigh, you steeled yourself before slipping on your heels and marching out of your room. You thought of anything and everything you could as you marched down the hall, doing your best to pay no mind to the way you felt the fabric clinging to your body with every move you made. God, you really should have put on shapewear.

Bucky heard you before he saw you, your footfalls echoing through the floor in the same pattern he came to memorize in the months you’ve been here. He took a deep breath, prepared for the fact that you would most likely brush him off once more. He was not prepared, though, for the sight of you as you rounded the corner.

You were not prepared to see him sitting there, clad in a pressed suit, or for him to quite literally choke on the drink he was nursing as he took in your presence.

“Jesus, Bucky. Are you alright?” you inquired, conflicted between staying where you stood and approaching him.

A dismissive wave of his hand had you staying in place, your arms wrapping around your middle as you began to feel exposed to him.

“I’m fine, I’m good,” he coughed out, refilling his glass as if nothing happened.

You stood there quietly, completely unsure of what to do next. The silence was becoming louder and louder but you didn’t want to draw his attention to you. Not when you were looking like this. Not when he’d be able to see every curve and divot of your body, the protrusion of your stomach, the ample raise of your chest. You were really starting to regret not changing.

“Are you gonna stand there and stare all night or head to the party?” he asked, keeping his eyes on the glass before him. His tone was playful, but his voice had a rasp to it that sent a shiver down your spine.

“Oh, uh - sorry,” you muttered, clearing your throat as you slowly advanced in his direction. “Are, um-… are you gonna join the party?”

He huffed a small laugh, his eyes finally raising to meet yours only to find that you were looking almost everywhere but at him, effectively wiping the small smile from his face.

“I’m not so sure,” he said lowly, downing the contents of his glass as he kept his eyes on you.

You hummed, looking down at your hands before chancing a glance at him; his gaze on you so intense that you immediately looked away again.

“Well, I- I hope to see you there,” you said sincerely, wringing your fingers together. “You look really nice, Buck” you added quietly, looking up at him just long enough to flash him a warm smile before continuing through the kitchen.

“Did I do something wrong?” he called after you, the hurt in his voice impossible to miss.

“What?” you asked in confusion, turning to glance in his direction.

“Did I do something wrong?” he repeated, leaning back in his chair. “Because ever since you moved in here, it’s like you can’t stand the sight of me.”

You couldn’t help the nervous chuckle that left you, shaking your head in disbelief. “That’s not true.”

“No?” he asked, his tone taking on a new edge. “Are you sure? ‘Cause you can’t even fucking look at me right now. You practically run from me when I enter the same room, you do everything you can to avoid me, and let’s not forget the fact that I’m the only one around here who you don’t hug after getting back from missions.”

“Bucky-” you tried to explain, but the lump forming in your throat stopped you short.

“I just wanna know what I did,” he carried on, voice softer this time. “I don’t know if you’re angry with me or- or if you’re scared of me-”

“I am not scared of you,” you interrupted, finally meeting his gaze. “Please don’t think that.”

“What else am I supposed to think?” he asked quietly. “Everything is fine when I’m out on the field, we- I get along with you better than anyone. But then I come home, and it’s not the same.”

“It’s not-... it’s not like that, Bucky,” you whispered sadly, unintentionally looking away from him again.

“Yeah, if you say so,” he said curtly, sighing in defeat as he filled his glass again. “Just enjoy the party, okay?”

“You’re not coming?” you asked, unable to keep the disappointment from your voice.

“Well, you’re just gonna avoid me anyway. Might as well make it easier for you and stay here,” he replied, keeping his eyes on the twirling glass in his hands.

“I don’t want you to think like that,” you admitted softly. “I- I don’t mean to do the things I do.”

“Then why do they happen?” he inquired, his eyes meeting yours and displaying a painful mix of hurt and confusion.

“Because,” you started, feeling your bottom lip quiver. “I mean, look at me, Buck,” you finished, as if that was explanation enough.

“Believe me, I’m looking,” he said gently. “And you look-... well, I wanna say you look beautiful, but that implies you don’t always look beautiful, so, I- I don’t know what I’m supposed to say,” he added, his voice so low he may as well have been speaking to himself, but you heard every word he muttered.

“...What?” you breathed out, staring over at him.

“What?” he questioned, glancing up to catch your eye.

You tried to swallow the lump in your throat but it just kept on growing, forcing you to choke on your words.

“Hey, wait, don’t-... okay, now I really said something wrong, right?” he asked quickly, starting to panic as he watched your eyes fill with tears.

Shaking your head vehemently, you delicately wiped your eyes, hoping not to smudge the work that Wanda did for you. “No, you- I just didn’t expect you to say that. I-... I'm not used to hearing that."

"You're not?" he asked, genuinely surprised.

You almost laughed, and you probably would have if it wasn't such an embarrassing thing to admit. "No. I'm… guys don't really call girls who look like me beautiful."

He fell silent for a minute, eyeing you carefully before shifting in his seat, resting his arms on the table.

"You know, I've been alive for a pretty long time now," he said conversationally, as if you weren't on the cusp of a breakdown. "And I've also been quite literally around the whole world in that time. Some of it I remember, some of it… not so much. But even so, do you know what the one thing I can say with complete certainty is?"

You waited for him to go on for a moment before realizing he was actually looking for an answer. "No, what?" you manage to croak out.

He smiled softly, relaxing in his seat again. "I have, quite literally, never met anyone as beautiful as you. And I mean in both appearance and personality."

"But I- I'm not… I don't have the kind of body like the other women around here," you murmured, casting your gaze downwards as if you were ashamed of your words.

"So?" he asked incredulously. "Do you seriously think that you're automatically not beautiful just because you aren't the same size as them?"

"No, it- you can't- I'm not-" you tried to argue, but all you could get out were a few utterances before you had to choke back a sob, completely lost on how to express yourself.

"Is this why you've been avoiding me? Have I done something to make you uncomfortable?" he asked anxiously, fighting the urge to approach you.

"Yes. I mean no, I-" you cut yourself off with a sigh, taking a moment to consider your answer. "I've been too embarrassed to be around you. I-... I was afraid you'd be repulsed by me and that I'd lose you."

"Repulsed by you? A woman who puts fucking goddesses to shame?" he asked in disbelief. "Did me choking on my drink earlier not prove how taken by you I am?"

"Is that what that was?" you wondered, letting out a watery laugh.

"Yeah, that's what that was," he confirmed with a soft chuckle. "A guy does a real life spit take when he sees the girl of his dreams looking like the focus of a goddamn renaissance painting and she doesn't even realize it," he mumbled in exasperation, yet his eyes carried a playful sparkle.

"The girl of your dreams?" you repeated in shock, your voice a nervous whisper.

"Was that too cliché?" he questioned, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Maybe a little," you said playfully, sniffling quietly.

"I know how it feels, you know," he said softly. "To feel uncomfortable in your own body. But if you'd let me, I'll spend every day proving to you that I see you as nothing short of perfect."

You could only nod, giving him a weak smile as you fought back a wave of tears. "Yeah, I-... I could do that, too," you agreed quietly.

He grinned softly, greedily taking in your appearance once more before tearing his eyes away. "Come on," he urged, downing his drink before standing up. "You owe me about seven dances."

"Where does that number come from?" you asked with a laugh, watching as he approached you.

"For how many parties you snubbed me at so far," he replied casually, stopping as he stood before you.

"I never snubbed you," you grumbled, peering up at him.

"Sure you didn't," he teased, carefully wiping the tears from your face.

"Do I still look okay?" you asked nervously, fidgiting slightly under his touch.

"Gorgeous as ever," he replied sincerely.

You couldn't help but grin, laughing a little anxiously. "Okay. Come on, or else we won't have enough time for all those dances."

Bucky laughed happily, taking your hand and rushing to join the party, having you giggling in his wake as you did your best to keep up.

You let him whisk you away for the rest of the night, leading you through all the dances you owed him; and a few more, for good measure, as Bucky put it.

He stayed true to his word, and there wasn't a second that you spent with him where you didn't feel like the most ravishing woman to walk the earth.

Especially when he took his precious time in the dark of the night to memorize and worship every inch of your body over and over again.

So as you sat here now, watching from across the room as he danced with the crowd, you couldn't help but feel foolish. Foolish for letting your thoughts take away the extra time you could have had with him, foolish for ever thinking this incredible man would ever judge you for something so trivial. Foolish, foolish, foolish.

"Penny for your thoughts?" you heard from beside you, ripping you from your reverie.

You turned your head, grinning as you saw the very man himself had taken up the seat to your left. "What, get tired of dancing already, old man?"

He gasped, feigning offense as he took in your words. "I'd watch who you're calling old, sweetheart," he warned playfully.

"I'd watch who you're calling sweetheart. I happen to be a married woman now, you know," you replied jovially.

"Married, huh? Should've known I didn't stand a chance," he lamented, shaking his head. "How about a pity dance?" he suggested with a grin, holding his hand out to you.

You giggled softly, taking his hand with a grin of your own. "Lead the way, Mr. Barnes."

"Anything for you, Mrs. Barnes," he replied with a wink, leading you to the dance floor.

And just like he did three years ago, he whisked you away and led you through a whole seven dances; and a few more, for good measure.

You were a flame, finally ignited, and Bucky was your match.

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jeongheart · 1 year

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touch

summary: 'physical touch refers to expressing and receiving affection through touch, physical closeness, and other forms of physical connection'.

w.c: 1.4k.

tags: strangers to friends to lovers (kinda?), mutual pining, fluff.

a.n: i'm soft, this was inspired by that video of jeongin bumping into jisung lol. my first innie work aaa i'm so happy that i finished it, i'm so proud of this one too.

as always, english is not my first language so sorry in advance for any mistakes, leave your thoughts if you like! it means a lot.

Jeongin doesn't like to be touched.

He strongly believes that his personal space is sacred, and he can't understand the people who require physical contact 24/7.

It's no secret to anyone that he dislikes (physical) displays of affection, not that he doesn't have them with the people he loves, he prefers to let them know that he loves them with a special gift on their birthday or by buying them something that reminds him of that person.

He especially hates hugs. He feels trapped by the other person, and despite the fact that in the 22 years of his life he repeated it a thousand times, his family and friends don't seem to get the hint.

He doesn't want to be surly, really. It's something that has been like that since he can remember.

Jeongin doesn't like to be touched.

Except if that someone is you.

It's funny actually, you'd met casually, the way people met before: in real life. The first day of college was tough, everything and everyone was new and having to get used to a "grown-up" routine all of a sudden was something that took time.

He remembers the time exactly: 07:20 am. It was the first of the day, he was sitting in front of the class, he had a bad habit of being easily distracted, so he had to force himself to overcome his shame and desire to sleep to be in front of the blackboard.

The class started at 07:30, and the room was almost full. The professor arrived less than a minute ago and Jeongin was glad to be alone and in peace. His notebook lay open in front of him, the pages white and spotless.

Until you arrived, late.

You came running, it was obvious that you'd fallen asleep. Your hair was somewhat messy, probably due to the wind and the run you made through the building, your face was red (from embarrassment and exertion), but a smile was present on your face.

The professor looked at you funny and with a gesture of her hand she asked you to come in and take a seat somewhere free.

The only one was next to Jeongin.

Your eyes lit up at the sight of the empty chair, and even though you couldn't see it, Jeongin rolled his eyes as he saw you approaching the table.

With the woman summarizing her presentation, you arranged your things on the table (everything was in pastel colors, the blonde noticed) and you looked at him expectantly with that smile still on your face.

He could tell you were alone, actually, you were the only two who were. All your other classmates knew each other. So your attempt to start a conversation with him was logical, you also realized that he was alone.

"It looks like we'll be buddies" You smiled again and then told him your name while you extended your hand in an attempt to shake his, a very old gesture and not funny at all according to Jeongin.

He played dumb, but he told you his name. And then he said nothing more, watching out of the corner of his eye as you slowly lower your hand to rest it on your lap.

The weeks passed like this, you had a clear love language and unfortunately it was the one that Jeongin hated the most. You were always trying to touch him, not in a wicked or weird way, just friendly since that's how you showed affection. You were friends, but he couldn't tell you 'stop doing that' every time you reached out to touch his shoulder to get his attention.

You annoyed him every time you did that, but he couldn't deny that when you weren't getting clingy he appreciated your company. You were a comfortable presence in his life most of the time, and he liked not being alone in an unfamiliar environment where everyone greeted each other and ate together every day.

The first part of the academic year ended in the blink of an eye and the relationship between the two of you was only growing.

Jeongin didn't know when he let you touch his arm for the first time, he thinks it was in the library when you were studying for an exam.

He was nervous as he couldn't memorize anything and you, ever so nice, reached out your hand in an attempt to comfort him to rest it on Jeongin's left arm which was sprawled on top of the book he was trying to read.

Jeongin hadn't noticed that he hadn't tensed like the other times and he just kept reading and rereading the same sentences while the heat rose to your cheeks.

You didn't know what changed, but the fact that the boy who moved away every time you got at least 5 cm closer than normal had finally relaxed around you had butterflies flying in your stomach.

The months unfolded normal after that, and Jeongin would let you into his bubble of personal space more and more often.

He definitely hadn't realized how much he liked to feel your warm hands on his when he needed to calm down before a presentation or how his heart would jump in his chest when he saw you smile after you hugged him goodbye when he dropped you at your house after college.

"I like you a lot, Innie" You told him after the second exam.

Another final exam ended, and with it, the end of the year was drawing near. Jeongin was going to a vacation with his family in Busan and you definitely couldn't go weeks and weeks without seeing him, or his dimples or hearing his laugh and you would never forgive yourself if you didn't tell him everything that was on your mind every time you were together.

Jeongin looked like a statue, his mouth was opening and closing in an attempt to find the right words. His mind had short-circuited and it seemed that he had lost all ability to form a coherent sentence.

The snow was falling around the two of you, the heartless winter wrapped you from head to toe and as the minutes passed without an answer, your heart raced more and more and if Jeongin paid enough attention he could see how your eyes began to water as you overthought your sudden confession.

Maybe he didn't feel the same way, and you were making a fool of yourself. You began to prepare the speech of 'sorry, I shouldn't have said anything' to save your heart from the impending rejection and to be able to escape from that situation as quickly as possible.

Until Jeongin moved, he took two short steps until he was face to face to you. He was a head taller than you and your eyes searched his urgently, trying to decipher the answer he hadn't put into words.

The blond placed his big hands on your cheeks, reddened by the cold and now by shame, and caressed your skin with his thumbs.

You swore that if it wasn't for his soft grip on your face, you might have passed out from how fast your heart was beating, your legs felt like jelly, and the suspense felt eternal. You wanted to yell at him to answer or for him to do something, anything to finally stop your heart racing with feelings.

You opened your mouth to talk, but Jeongin closed the distance between you by placing his lips on yours.

You froze at first, arms still on either side of your body but then, as if awakened from a trance, you closed your eyes and allowed yourself to lose yourself in the heat of the kiss, everything around you felt cold except for this moment, the soft feeling of his plush lips on yours and the warmth spreading from the tip of your fingertoes to every strand of hair on your head.

He moved only a few inches from you, enough to be able to whisper over your lips "I like you too".

You laughed slowly, so softly that it almost felt like a whisper, so only he could hear it "Yes, I think I realized that" And tangling your hands behind his neck you brought him closer to you to kiss him again.

Jeongin doesn't like to be touched, but you were the only exception.

#stray kids fluff #yang jeongin fluff #i.n fluff #yang jeongin x reader #i.n x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz soft thoughts #stray kids soft thoughts #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #skz fluff #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #bri writes

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jae-bummer · 9 months

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A Little Air

Request: Hi! I just discovered your account and I wanted to tell you that I LOVE the way you write,I´m kinda embarrassed to ask for this tho- I wanted to ask you if you could do prompt 8 with Bangchan,like someone introduces him to YN and uses thoses lines and then she falls in love or something like that? idk if I explained well,but I would really appreciate if you did this! ♡

Prompt:

8) "He has tired dad energy." "He doesn't have kids." "Still a DILF."

Pairing: Stray Kids Bang Chan x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Parties weren't really your thing.

And that's okay! Parties didn't need to be your thing. You much preferred things that were your thing. Coffee dates, reading books, going out to check the mail to say you saw sunlight that day. All of these were excellent things, and they were yours.

Your best friend, Bee, on the other hand, had very different things, such as parties.

And that's why you had been dragged to this one.

She tried to frame it as an "intimate get together," but upon arriving, you hadn't realized that nearly 40-50 people sharing a space was considered "intimate."

Glaring up at her, you tried to imagine small daggers flying from your pupils and into the side of her cheek. You didn't want to actually harm her, as they were very tiny, inconsequential daggers, but you wanted to have them annoy her, just like you were annoyed.

"You okay?" she hummed, her eyes constantly scanning the room around her. "You look like you have something in your eye."

You did. It was called revenge. "Why am I heeeere?"

"Because you're my best friend and I enjoy your company," she nodded, finally deigning to look your way.

Your expression remained deadpan as she burst into laughter. "What?"

"This is cruel and unusual punishment," you pouted, attempting to cross your arms with your drink still in your hand.

"Oh, come oooon!" she gasped. "It's not so bad! We're in the corner of the room, away from everyone, people watching. You love people watching!"

The bitch had you there.

"Hey, you two!" a familiar voice tugged at your attention. Looking over, a mutual friend was shuffling over.

"Hey, Eunji," you and Bee responded, one of you obviously much more enthusiastic than the other.

"What are you guys doing tucked away over here?" she asked, settling in at your opposite side.

"Reading the room," Bee grinned. "You know a lot of these people better than we do, so I have to ask...who is that?"

"Wasting no time on pleasantries," Eunji laughed. "Getting right into the important stuff, I see."

Motioning with her eyes, you followed Bee's line of sight until you too were looking at her subject of interest. It was not surprising in the least that this guy had snagged her attention. He was occupying one end of a velvet couch, sleepily following the conversation of the two men standing in front of him. Man-spread in an oddly desirable way, he held a drink by the edge of the rim in between his knees, his pose completely relaxed. Dressed from head to toe in black, you were surprised to admit that he made eye bags work. You had never seen someone look so tired and simultaneously hot at the same time.

"His name is Bang Chan," Eunji continued.

"He has tired dad energy," you murmured to no one in particular.

"He doesn't have kids," Eunji snorted, joining you in your ogling.

"Don't care," Bee said, shaking her head. "Still a DILF."

"Oh god," you gasped, immediately turning your attention elsewhere. You had been spotted. He was now looking at the three of you looking at him.

Bee continued to stare, a small smile on her lips. "I think you should talk to him, Y/N."

"I'm sorry, I should what?" you gasped, turning sharply to face your friend.

"Why not?" she asked, tilting her head. "He is very much your type."

"He is very much everyone's type!" you snapped. "Have you seen him?"

"I'm about to see him even better," she grinned. "He's coming this way."

Fuck.

Sure as shit, as soon as you turned your head back in his direction, you saw that he had stood and said his goodbyes to the men he had previously been talking to.

It may have been your imagination, but time seemed to slow as he strolled toward you. The sound of birds chirping and a few "sha la la's" could be heard playing in the distance.

"Excuse me," he said, much more cheerfully than you had anticipated. "I thought I'd come over and introduce myself. My name is Chris."

"Hi, Chris," the three of you chimed, clearly all taken aback.

This caused him to breath in a laugh, exposing you to his devastating smile. A spark danced in his eyes as he looked to each of your friends before settling his attention on you.

"We were just going to grab another drink," Bee interrupted, grabbing hold of Eunji's wrist. "You two want anything?"

"You haven't finished your first drink," you said in an attempt to get your friends to stay. You knew what they were doing, and you didn't appreciate it one bit.

"I want something different," Bee snapped back before shooting an awkward smile at Chan.

Before you could even blink, your friends disappeared into the throng of partygoers. Slowly turning back toward your newest acquaintance, you tried to come up with something thoughtful to say.

"How'd you end up here?" you blurted out instead.

Chan smiled easily again, watching you as if you were entertaining him. "This is my friend's apartment. What about you?"

"I was dragged here by the one who suddenly felt parched," you grumbled.

"Dragged?" he asked, lifting his brows.

"I'm not great at parties," you admitted, looking away from him in embarrassment. "I'm not great at...conversing or the whole...people thing."

"I think you're doing just fine," he cooed, his tone somehow comforting AND seductive. "But I totally understand. It can get to be really overwhelming."

You'd been talking for about twelve seconds, and he got it. Why didn't your friends get it?

"Do you want to get some air?" he asked, seeming to notice how stiff you were. "I have special balcony privileges."

"I'm talking with a VIP then?" you smirked.

"The V-est of the IPs," he grinned. Remaining silent, you realized he was waiting for your answer, not just assuming you wanted to go with him.

Well, that was refreshing. "I wouldn't mind stepping outside for a bit."

"Great," he nodded. Turning away from you, he began walking toward the opposite side of the apartment, parting the sea of people effortlessly. Almost forgetting to follow behind, you were shocked back into reality when he looked over his shoulder and intertwined your fingers in his.

Trying to remind yourself to remain calm, your heart skipped a beat, nonetheless.

You wouldn't normally go anywhere with a strange man you had met at a party, but there was just something about Chan that put you at ease. It was hard to explain, but his whole vibe was soft and comfortable. Like a human version of a hug.

Plus, there were more than enough people here to act as witnesses if he happened to push you off of the balcony.

Guiding you down a hallway and through a bedroom, Chan opened up a set of clear glass doors before stepping outside. As soon as the cold night air hit your face, you felt your body begin to relax.

"It's so quiet out here," you murmured, dropping Chan's hand and moving to stand at his side. You instantly regretted breaking the contact but were much too awkward to act normally if you maintained it.

"It's nice, isn't it?" he hummed, resting his forearms against the railing. "Hyunjin has a lot of these parties. This balcony has become an excellent hide out for when things get to be too much."

"Sounds like you're quite the party animal," you joked, pushing playfully at his shoulder with yours.

"Hardly!" he grinned. "I have a lot of friends, so I know I have some social skills, but I prefer to not be in a party setting. Don't get me wrong, it's fine sometimes, but I'd much rather hang out with people I'm already close with than be forced to meet new people."

Ouch, so much for being a human hug.

Instantly realizing his mistake, Chan jerked his head up and spun toward you. "No, no, no, no," he repeated quickly. "I didn't mean it like that. I mean, you're lovely. I mean...I should probably just stop talking, shouldn't I?"

Letting out a huffed laugh, it was your turn to lean on the balcony and stare into the city below. "It wasn't personal."

"It really wasn't," he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Man, really mucked up that one, didn't I?"

"It did not win you any gold stars."

Throwing himself beside you again, he tilted his face to gaze at you. "Forgive me?"

"Already forgiven," you hummed. Chancing a look his way, you offered a small smile. "It's easy when I hardly know you."

"Very valid point," he nodded. Letting the air settle into silence, it was a few minutes before he finally spoke again. "Would you let me know you?"

"Sorry?" you asked, not sure if you heard him clearly. "Weren't you just saying you didn't like meeting new people?"

"That may be a slight twist on what I said," he grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "But that was before."

"And now?"

"And now I'm on the balcony with someone who is clearly out of my league and I'm floundering for any type of brownie points," he smiled shyly.

"Out of," you stammered. "Out of your league?"

He started chuckling again. "You're doing a great job at repeating things I've said."

Shaking your head, you tried to work out his meaning. "Like you're doing charity work?"

"Whoa," he breathed, furrowing his brows. "No, like you're likely too good for me."

"I think..." you paused, the information slowly seeping into your understanding. Did he really think that? "Someone hit you on the head very hard and you aren't thinking straight."

This caused Chan to choke out a surprised laugh. "Come oooon. You know who is the attractive one on this balcony."

"Pfft," you snorted. "Sure, Chris."

A shiver rippled across your shoulders, causing you to wrap your arms around yourself. What had once been an energizing chill had turned much cooler as the night stretched on.

Noticing this, Chan cocked a brow before he began biting his lip. Your eyes immediately zeroed in on the motion, trying to remember to breathe through something so simply sexy.

"Do you mind if I-" he began, motioning with his arms.

You weren't exactly sure what he was getting at, but at this point, he could likely do whatever he wanted with you, and you'd still thank him for the opportunity. Giving a weak nod, you were surprised when he pivoted you to face the city again and wrapped his arms around you. Bracing his hands on the balcony railing, he sandwiched you in between the metal and the front of his torso.

Sure, you were immediately warmed by his close proximity, but you were also that much closer to passing out. Being in this range, he was even more intoxicating than he had been before.

"Better?" he cooed; his breath heavy in your ear.

"Much," you squeaked, trying to remain calm.

Resting his chin on your shoulder, he let out a light sigh. "You never answered me."

Suddenly every question he had asked tonight flew from your brain. "What did you ask?"

"Would you let me know you?"

You thought you were going to swallow your tongue. "I'd like you to."

"Good," he cooed. "I look forward to it then."

Man, you'd have to send Bee an edible arrangement after this. Who knew you'd like parties after all?

#stray kids #skz #bang chan #bahng chahn #christopher bang #stray kids chan #stray kids bang chan #skz chan #skz bang chan #chris bang #bang chan x reader #bang chan fluff #bang chan fanfic #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic

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fairuzfan · 4 months

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Your post about how many people are unknowingly falling for & spreading propaganda... yeah. I typed up a whole spiel of a comment on one of your posts the other day that I ended up deciding not to not actually post because it felt like detailing, but seriously. The amount of well meaning, genuinely anti-zionist people ignorantly sharing zionists' posts because they just don't pick up on the leading undertones is honestly more terrifying than than the amount of actual zionists in some ways.

I'm someone who was born into a doomsday cult, and seeing all these people falling for the exact same blatant (or so i thought lol) recruitment/manipulation tactics I've seen used by them my entire life has absolutely fucking terrifying. These are people who are actively trying to combat zionism, but I guess the general public is so uneducated about propaganda/cult tactics that what immediately reads as blatantly manipulative, misleading bullshit to me just doesn't even register as strange to most people. Not to be repetitive, but seriously: fucking terrifying.

There's so much focus on the way people/groups who want to manipulate you will use language of fear, but in this case especially, people need to realize they will almost always appeal to your compassion before they appeal to your fear.

It's all peace and love and happiness because that's what gets people in the door. You preach (or post) the mushy, happy, fun stuff that makes people feel good to draw them in, and you slowly start peppering in the ideas you actually want to lead them to believe later on once you've got them wanting to believe you.

This also has this added effect of helping the group or person's image. Even the people who you don't manage to draw in will have the impression of you as someone who runs their mouth 24/7 about how you're full of love and want the best for everyone, which is especially useful for when you inevitably want to frame yourself as the victim to demonize the people who will inevitably oppose you. If your first and only exposure to a person is seeing them calling for world peace and universal love, you are much more likely to be inclined to believe they (and by extension their cause) are the sympathetic, loving, peaceful good guys being unjustly targeted.

Sorry for rambling, but like... really. It won't always be something nefarious, of course--the vast majority of the the time, it won't be--but I think we would all be in a much better situation if people took it as a general rule of thumb that you should always be a little suspicious of overly vague talk about peace and love.

You're EXACTLY right. I really appreciate this message, because you put to words a lot of my inherent analysis of arguments and ideas. I like grew up with this rhetoric so it's easy to spot for me, but the way that people speak about "peace" as the overall goal when they're zionist is so blatant to me because there is no material change in the scenario they propose but rather a calmness where Palestinians are ignored.

And picking up on subtext of a lot of messages is something you have to have a muscle for kinda because of how subtle it is. The frightening part is, you're right, that the indoctrination part of zionism is the most harmful part because you appeal to their pathos — their fear, their sense of safety, etc — and you go on down the rabbit hole and slowly start being radicalized and pro-zionism or you might not even be pro-zionism 100% but enjoy... soft zionism as a mutual of mine put it once (if you read this and want to be tagged, lmk). Which soft zionism is the MAIN opinion in many liberal circles btw, its not an uncommon opinion.

I even remember once sharing a post by a zionist because i saw them talk about esims but when i went on their blog a few days later because something rubbed me the wrong way, I noticed their pinned and I was like "oh dam I gotta delete that other post" like that's how often this happens.

Idk, I try to combat this by putting sources or approaching from a standpoint of logical arguments rather than identity-based politics (although, sometimes i think there are some things that people who are a certain identity can be the only true experts on) so that I try to encourage actual engagement with ideas and walking them through thought processes rather than "I'm palestinian so just trust me."

Like even with my one fact checking list, idk if I succeeded but I wanted to emphasize that there are multiple factors you should consider when confronting ANY sort of information and should not blindly trust things. News sources have regularly burned or ignored Palestinians so I know a lot of us are really sensitive to these things, but I don't know! I hope people can engage with ideas more than just surface level thinking in general because it helps everyone when you actually interact with the point of view the other person is providing rather than just blindly trusting/distrusting people.

#thanks for this ask btw i really appreciate it

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lestappenforever · 2 months

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My ask is maybe a bit silly, and would probably go in 'sanity check' category. It is about Max, and how he is perceived. If I understand correctly, it is said he is mad max, bad guy, aggressive… and similar. Now, I know teenagers are sometimes a bit crazy, and from what I read he was actually very badly treated by freaking adults, fellow drivers, when he first joined F1, so maybe then he was a bit aggressive, and it would be even understandable… but still it is difficult to even imagine that. Because Max I see (I am only following racing since last year) is nice, soft, funny, polite guy, still more looking like an innocent kid than an adult, even appearing naïve (unlike the sweet, adorable devil that is Charles!), and obviously so nice towards rookies (Oliver and Liam-who himself said it). So am I delusional and see what is not there or for some reason he is so vilified (I guess most coming probably from jealousy and Netflix crap…). Oh and one additional observation, he always looks so much softer and somehow cuddlier and cuter on photos from his streaming at home… What do you think? One final observation, then I will shut up  Sometimes it seems to me that all the Lestappen moments and specila connection maybe come from the fact that when Charles came to F1 Max finally had kinda his person there. Because he went form father abuse to fellow drivers abuse, but when Charles came to F1, he had someone he could have a real relationship with, even if they fought and were a bit sulky almost teenagers still in the beginning, they got over it as they grow up. But Charles is his genuinely healthy, good, fun, friendly relationship. Having spent time as kids growing up of course also deepens the bond and friendship, but also mutual respect and understanding each other’s qualities. I don’t know if explained it well enough… P.S. I LOVE your fics!!!!

Hi anon, and thank you so much for this ask! I don't think it's a silly ask at all.

All these "Mad Max", being too aggressive, being mean claims etc. stem from two things:

1. When Max made it into F1 almost 10(!) years ago, he was 17(!!) years old. He was a kid — a literal child. And he was a cocky, arrogant little shit at that, as any kid would be making their debut in such a prestigious sport at such a young age.

2. Max haters who will hate him forever, no matter what, no matter why. They don't even need a reason; they're just determined to hate him and will do so forever.

But the thing is, and his haters especially seem to love to ignore this fact, Max was seventeen years old when he made his F1 debut. He was, for all intents and purposes, a child. I watched Max make his F1 debut, and I watched and read the way he was viewed and the reception he received from his fellow drivers, the media, and fans alike. And I watched these grown-ass men already on the grid when Max joined welcome him by treating him like shit. These adults were so threatened by this kid who came into the sport without having to go through the same ranks almost every other F1 driver has to go through to get there, such as several years in F3 and F2 (Max only spent a year in F3 and skipped F2 altogether), that they did virtually nothing to make him feel welcome. Quite the opposite, in fact. It was so fucking sad and infuriating, and I lost a lot of respect for many drivers because of it. And if I'm being honest, anon, that's what made me decide Max would be my favorite driver. I can be incredibly spiteful when I want to be, and watching Max get slammed and slandered from so many directions from the very beginning made me want to be very spiteful. That's what made me decide that I was going to support that kid like hell. And I haven’t looked back or regretted it since.

I cannot stress this enough, and I know I've said it so many times before already, but: Max Verstappen was a child when he made it into the world of F1. But he's not a child anymore, which a concerning amount of people seem to be blissfully and willfully ignorant to. Max has grown and matured so much in the years he's been in F1. And, like most other people, Max Verstappen the adult is not the same person as Max Verstappen the teenager, or Max Verstappen the child. And he hasn’t been anything like his 17-year old self in a long, long time. But this, of course, is something his haters will never accept or acknowledge.

I truly believe, from the very bottom of my heart, that Max is always so nice and welcoming towards rookies, always willing to lend a hand or giving them advice, always going out of his way to praise and support them, because practically no one ever did that for him when he was a rookie. And that speaks volumes about his character and the kind of man he has grown into since making his debut.

You're not delusional at all, anon, and having only followed F1 since last year means it's not surprising that you don't see the very outdated and frankly incredibly incorrect persona the people who dislike Max will always keep trying to convince themselves and others is still him. Because it isn’t — not even close. Practically every single person who has worked with or been around Max in the past few years all say the same thing: that he's funny, easy-going, and one of the genuinely kindest people on the grid. And that means a hell of a lot more than the opinions of people who have never and will never know him, and have made it their personal, sad mission to hate him. So you keep holding on to the impression you have of him, anon, because that is a far more accurate representation than the image some people are so hellbent of painting of him. (He’s definitely not naïve, though, not even close.)

And I absolutely agree: he looks even softer and cuddlier when he's streaming at home! I love streamer!Max so much.

"When Charles came to F1 Max finally had kinda his person there". <- You are spot on with this, anon! I've talked about the special bond I think these two share in the past, like in this post, and so have many others. (@tsarinablogs @valyrfia @thearchercore to name a few - highly recommend checking out their blogs if you haven’t already!) It truly seems like they have never, and will never, see any other driver as a big a rival as the other, and the numerous accounts of their karting days from people who got to watch them battle first-hand from such a young age definitely backs up that claim. And I think that's so beautiful, and it's one of the many, many reasons why these two are so dear to me, and why other F1 ships will never be able to come close.

P.S. That makes me so happy to hear, anon, thank you so, so much. 🥹❤️

#Asks #Anon asks #Lestappen asks #Max Verstappen

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gfcheol · 2 years

Text

late blooming pt1 | j. wonwoo

pairing: wonwoo x f!reader

genre: slow burn, sugar daddy au, smut in later chapters

word count: 5.9k

tags: struggling artist!reader, trust fund kid!wonwoo, mutual pining, emotional constipation, slow burn, eventual smut (in later chapters oops), photographer!mingyu, best friend!jeonghan, swearing

taglist: @bangchanbabygirlx

"You made it!", Mingyu beamed at you, his smile so radiant, it could probably illuminate the whole city if he tried. Even though he towered over most of his guests, you were almost sure that he was standing on the tip of his toes, trying to make you out in the sea of people. You giggled, his enthusiasm easily rubbing off on you, as you matched his gleeful expression.

Truth be told, you weren't expecting that warm of a welcome, when you got the invite to your college buddy's first Vernissage. 'Pieces of me' - read the title, according to the flyer that is. A collection of photographs that Mingyu took over the years, working as a freelance artist. There was a small part of you, bitter and envious, trying to convince yourself that this was the result of luck and money. But you remembered, even back in your college days, the passion ablaze in Mingyu's eyes when he wanted to get the right angle or capture a moment deserving to be of film. Yes, if you liked it or not, some people were simply blessed with talent, beauty and success.

"Gyu!", you squealed as his hands pulled you into a crushing hug, face pressed against his muscular chest. Jesus Christ, had he gotten even bigger?

"I wasn't sure you'd come", his arms tightened around you, as though he was trying to stop you from vanishing again. "You never really responded to the invite..."

Or his other messages. He didn't have to actually voice it out, but you were very well aware of the hurt you caused by going ghost on him, since you two graduated college.

A pang of guilt shot through you, freeing yourself from his bearhug. "Ah, I didn't know if you'd... want me here? I don't know, it's silly", your smile wavered, nervously toying with the complimentary glass of champagne, they'd offered you at the entrance. How you wished, you'd taken more than a sip from your bubbly poison.

"You're right", he said, hand squeezing your shoulder. "You are being silly! I'm always happy to see you, no reason to doubt that."

The sincerity bleeding off his words tore on you, cracks deepening in your happy, little facade as you felt emotions well up, you weren't really ready to show. The past few years had been tough on you. The constant rejection as an artist, the financial struggle that came with it, the myriad of men so ready to break your heart... It seemed difficult to stay positive in such circumstances, resorting to you isolating yourself from those more successful and happier than you. The constant reminder and comparison would have ruined you, you'd told yourself half-heartedly, everytime you saw Mingyu's invites to dinners or birthday parties. Egoism at its absolute worst.

You cleared your throat - this was hardly the time or place to dwell on your own shortcomings. You'd have enough time to reflect on that, in the cozy confines of your apartment.

Another squeeze, this one firmer. Forcing yourself out of your gloomy thought prison, you blinked a few times. "Fuck, sorry- I was kinda zoning out, what did you say?"

Mingyu's grin widened at that. "You really haven't changed, have you?'

"Oh my fucking- Shut up!", you giggled, rolling your eyes. "Can't blame me for getting emotional over Mister Artist over here achieving the dream."

Your compliment, having its intended effect, went straight to his head, a pretty blush blooming on his cheeks. He had always been offensively sweet and handsome at that as well. It felt good to see how none of that got lost over the years. "It's pretty crazy, right?"

"Nah", you followed his gaze as he looked around the spacious hall, darting from people to photographs. His brows furrowed and you swore you could see his eyes well up with heavy tears. "You're talented, Gyu! Always been! Let yourself enjoy the moment."

"Are you trying to make me cry? Because it's kinda working."

The motion of leaning against his side felt too familiar to resist it, the long years spent apart suddenly forgotten. Your own gentle giant. You felt your heart ache. "C'mon, go mingle a bit! All these fancy people came to see you, I'm not gonna hog all of your attention."

A sigh. "Let's catch up later, okay?", he tore himself from you with surprising difficulty, his eyes oozing with all the feelings of the moment, before he disappeared back into the crowd. Well, as well as he could being the giant that he was.

Taking another sip from your glass, you willed away the urge to hide away in the bathroom. Icky feelings be damned, you're not going to let your anxiety ruin this for your friend. Or was it former friend? You'd still have to clarify that with him, once you'd get the chance to catch up and apologize for being the worst person imaginable.

The photographs adorning the walls of the hall were breath-taking - Really, hardly a surprise for anyone knowing the artist. The motives on them might vary - Some of them bursting with warm colors, others melancholic black and white pieces - but you could recognize Mingyu in all of them. You could picture him so clearly behind the lense in some of them. Lips pursed as he'd play with the lighting, until he'd groan out in frustration, strings of whines escaping him. You couldn't help but giggle at the mental image you conjured up.

"And here I was thinking, this piece was probably meant to be wistful", a voice behind you declared.

"Interesting", you commented, copying the serious tone of the still faceless stranger. "I would have gone with 'serene', personally. Not all landscapes are supposed to invoke a sense of sadness, you know."

"Not even rainy, grey ones? Art teachers must have it all wrong." The mystery man was teasing, you could tell, but your pride simply demanded you not to give in. Biting your lip to suppress a smile, you tilted your head to the side, still mustering the photograph in front of you. "If you think a piece of art being devoid of color is enough to make it melancholic, I feel like you need to broaden your horizons."

You turned towards him to present him with a cocky smirk, yet the sight of him caught you off guard, making you halt in your tracks. He was nowhere near the pompous, old fart that you'd expected him to be. Quite the contrary - He must have been around your age, rather tall, sharp eyes adorned with golden rimmed glasses that sat on his nose bridge. There was an air around him you couldn't quite place. Maybe it was confidence - Or rather indifference? He looked at you with no hint of emotion, yet there was an intensity in his expression that made your brows furrow in silent question. Did you know him? Was he an old acquaintance from school? Work maybe? His face seemed so very familiar...

"I'm sorry, have we-"

"No, I don't think we've had the pleasure yet", he was quick to cut you off, eyes still very much set on you. "Y/N, right?"

Momentarily taken aback by his curt behavior, you crossed your arms in front of your chest, the alcohol in your system lending you some bite. "Very charming and not at all creepy", you replied, keeping your tone cold.

The stranger finally broke into a faint smile, your attitude seemingly amusing him, much to your dismay. "It wasn't much of a question", he said. "Mingyu mentioned you."

That only raised more questions within your mind. Yet your heart warmed at the thought of your college friend still talking about you after all these years. Your demeanor softened, feeling heat travel to your ears. "He did?", your voice rang quiet, even to your own ears. "You two are friends?"

Hesitantly, he gave you a slow nod, as if to choose his next words with extra care. "Why would that be so surprising?"

"It isn't...? I just don't know- I thought, we've established we don't know each other? Or am I being like- really inconsiderate right now?", you wrecked your brain, digging for any hint of information about the mystery man. Yet your mind was blank, the mix of alcohol and the whirlwind of emotions making your mind feel hazy.

Your response earned you a wary look, his eyes mustering you with a strange sense of incredulousness, adjusting his glasses on his nose. The strange air of superiority over you didn't help to soothe your ruffled feathers, biting your tongue to refrain from any too rude remark. When he still didn't reply anything, you huffed, patience wearing thin. "Listen, I'm not here to be catty, so don't make this too hard for me."

"Wonwoo", he extended his hand for you, though he still sounded somewhat careful with his introduction. Feeling petty, you eyed his hand with a sceptical raise of your brow, before shaking his hand. "You're a fellow artist."

It wasn't framed like a question, but you still found yourself contemplating the correct response. Did you view yourself as a creative medium that still creates whenever it's possible for you? Absolutely. Did you attend the same college as Mingyu? That's a fact. Would you be ridiculed if you answered affirmatively, only to admit your primary source of income is your cashier job at the convenience store down your street? No doubt about that either.

Avoiding his ever so observant eyes, you offered a shrug. "Something like that, yeah."

He must have sensed your hesitation, directing his attention away from you, and back to the artwork, a hum on his lips. You let yourself muster him more closely - His features were sharp, something intimidating in his sharp cheekbones and clean cut style. Still, you couldn't deny his good looks. Of course, you'd act like a bitch to the first hot guy approaching you in the longest time. You groaned inwardly.

"Are you one too? An artist I mean." His lips quirked up, as if the question itself seemed absolutely preposterous. "Or are you here for our Picasso?"

"Really - 'Picasso'? I would have gone with Monet - Less obvious choice"

A roll of your eyes was enough to stop his teasing, a smirk plastered on his lips. Handsome or not, the urge to dump the rest of your champagne on his pants seemed to grow by the second. "Mingyu invited me."

You hummed in response before he continued. "You're probably familiar with how persistent he can be."

"Not big on crowds then?", you asked, already sympathizing with Mr Wonwoo's very obvious struggle to socialize. "I get it, I'm not a fan either."

"Hm, yes. One could say that. I try to avoid them, at least." He seemed tense replying to you, jaw clenched as he shifted from one foot to the other. A vague feeling of guilt sank in your chest. Oh, this interaction was just getting better and better. Maybe if you were lucky enough, you'd suffer a spontaneous a heart attack and you could free this poor guy from your clumsy conversation.

"It's worth it though", you decided to say, your edges softening all at once, at the mention of your mutual friend. "Just to see him be all smiley and happy. He deserves it, I'm so proud of him."

There was something so inherently vulnerable about sharing fondness for the same person, you mused, even among strangers. Pride and genuine happiness beamed in your chest, and for a heartbeat you felt as bright and happy as Mingyu. "I've been telling him the same thing for months now, but it almost seems like he was willing to believe you more than me."

If he was agitated, he did a great job hiding that. His words were free of malice, merely curiosity peeking its head through some syllables. Yet all you could do is stare dumbly. "Should I be flattered or worried, knowing that you were just lurking in some corner, watching us? Very James Bond villain of you."

"I'd rather see you flattered than anything", the question left him unfazed, shame nowhere in sight. You pouted at the lack of effect your words had on him. In the short while you had gotten to know Wonwoo Last-Name-Unknown, he managed to coax shame, annoyance, and now, a third emotion (one that made your heart flutter and your cheeks heat up) out of you. What a terrible man he proved himself to be, not even possessing the courtesy to pretend.

From the corner of your vision, you saw his smirk deepen, before asking you, "Would it be terribly forward to ask for your number?"

"It would be", you decided, without further thought to his question, suppressing your smile with effort. "But I'm quick to forgive the faux pas."

His phone felt foreign in your hands, as he produced it from seemingly out of nowhere, pressing his thumb to the side, black screen lighting up. To your disappointment, you noticed the default homescreen, the brightness taunting any hope you had to gain insight into his character. Even with a name to his chiselled features, your Mystery Man seemed intent on remaining a stranger to you. His facade so clean, it was hard not to pay mind to the eerie feeling creeping up your spine. A puzzle waiting to be solved, you thought to yourself.

His smile was surprisingly shy, after you'd typed in both name and number into his contacts, fingertips brushing against you a bit too long, as you handed him his phone. "We'll stay in touch." And once again - His tone left no room for argument.

"Okay, boss", you snorted at his all too formal goodbye, granting him one last smile, before turning on your heel, heading into another direction. It felt almost impossible to force the wave of giddiness down your throat, reminding yourself that you don't, in fact, know this guy. You'd grant him the honour of giggles and shy glances, once he'd actually take you out on a date. Or well, if he'd actually take you out.

Mingyu didn't seem all too disappointed, when you'd told him that you would head home for the day, too occupied entertaining both, friends and art lovers. A wave of nostalgia washed over you briefly. Or was it regret? It was hard to tell.

"Text me, okay?", he said with puppy dog eyes. "Promise!"

"Cross my heart and hope to die- I promise", you grinned in return. "Have fun, Monet."

And you could swear, that for a second, you heard a, now familiar, deep voice chuckle in delight. You tried to disregard your glowing cheeks, as you slipped through the glass door, exiting the building.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

Blue must have always been your favourite color to work with.

Even during your middle school years, you'd found the depth of it soothing. Dark, ominous waves that house secrets no one will ever know. Or in contrast, the sky on a sunny day, assuring you that this, will surely be your day. So you'd picked up your crayons, your paint or your ballpoint pen and you drew, knowing that if you didn't bring the emotion you held onto paper, they'd be lost forever.

Your mother had called it, your "Blue Period". Strange, considering you had yet to move on to a different color. But who knew? Perhaps you'd grow tired of the depths and the levity, craving intense red or regal purple in your life instead. Perhaps...

Perhaps one day, when the want to venture out will drown out comfort and safety. Until then, you'd be content with blue.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

Your chest was heaving up and down as you leaned against the doorframe of your apartment, feeling your heartbeat drum against your skull. "Fuck me", you panted.

"Yeah, that's what jogging does to someone", Jeonghan smirks, very happy with himself, while eyeing your sweaty form. Despite it being past noon, he was still in his PJs, the plaid ones that you'd gifted him last year to his birthday, sporting a self satisfied expression on his delicate features.

You recalled the first time you'd met him. Gyu had left you to your own devices at some frat party, letting you stroll around to either cause mayhem or make new friends. At the time, you'd thought Jeonghan was the most angelic looking guy, you'd ever laid your eyes upon in your life, smiling at you with half lidded eyes, red solo cup in hand. That impression quickly changed, his catty remarks ("And you believed what Joshua told you, Channie? That's so brave of you.") having sparked a whole fist fight amongst the surrounding guys - The reason? He'd wanted an excuse to go home unnoticed.

"Not all of us wanna- oh shit-", you gulped for air, lungs stinging in protest, sweat dripping from your hairline, down to your brow. You could already hear the shower calling to you. "-have the constitution of an old lady, Hannie."

"I'm so proud of you for fighting against your old lady nature then."

Groaning at his retort, you pushed past him into your - suspiciously quiet - shared apartment. Reaching for the zipper of your jacket, you asked, "Didn't you mention that - Layla? Mary? - Wanted to come over this weekend?"

A shrug on his side, pushing the front door closed with a shove of his hips. "Layla", Jeonghan clarified. "Mary was the one from the Christmas party two months ago. Keep up, will you."

"Right, yeah. My bad."

"And yeah... but no. No." His eyes were cast down, a sudden interest in the pattern of the old floorboards, lips pressed into a fine line.

There was no need to explain any further than the look on his face. Layla had been sweet from what you remembered. Maybe even one of your favourites in the long line of girls, he'd introduced you to in the past year or so. "Shit, I'm sorry, Hannie. You okay?"

A non committal shrug. "Oh well, what can you do."

Sometimes you found yourself envying Jeonghan's tumultuous love life. No matter how fun the conversations or how good the sex was, he always put himself first. Because why spend too much time agonizing over someone who yearns for fundamentally different things in life? I'm not one to waste a girl's time, Jeonghan had told you after a particular rough breakup. At the very most, he found his pride wounded - But he always managed to bounce back regardless.

Your love life stood in stark contrast to his.

"Before I forget", Jeonghan shuffled next to you, head pointing to your phone on the kitchen counter. "Ya got a missed call - If it's my sister again, asking about her computer, tell her to shoo."

Rolling your eyes, you huffed out a breathless laugh, slipping your jacket off your shoulders as you made your way to the kitchen. You grabbed your blinking phone, notifying you of 'two missed calls' in the last hour. "Why do I have to be the middle man between you guys?", you frowned at the unknown number glaring at you. "Who the fuck..."

Quick to change the subject, Jeonghan hopped onto the corner, peaking over your shoulder. "Oooo, is someone in trouble?", he teased, practically glowing at the opportunity for mischief. "Or is it the guy from Mingyu's thing? Did you give him your number or did he-"

"Oh! I completely forgot- Oh fuck, what if it's him?" It wasn't that he'd actually slipped your mind after your encounter, you were just convinced that after a week - nine days to be exact - that'd be a clear indicator of his lack of interest. The sting of rejection would definitely hurt less by trying to erase him from your memory. "Should I text him? Call back? What if it isn't even him? Oh my god, Hannie! What the fuck should I do?"

Relishing in your flustered state, your roommate gloated. "Text back. If it's actually him, then he has some nerve calling after two weeks of radio silence. Bad move."

"It hasn't even been two weeks."

"So?" Jeonghan raised his brows, tilting his head to the side. "And let him explain himself, that could be funny."

Getting an explanation did sound rather tempting. But wouldn't that seem too much? You hadn't told Mingyu about Wonwoo hitting on you, moreso focused on praising his artworks and all the hard work he put into the Vernissage. So, you were still just as clueless about him as you'd been the day you met him.

Undeniably, there was something exciting about it all. The only thing that served as a connection between you being a mutual friend, but other than that? You were still completely oblivious about him - what he did as a job, where he's from, what his last name is. Your nerves tingled at the thrill of it, all previous exhaustion shed, teeth sinking into the flesh of your cheeks.

"I'd offer to call him instead, but I have a feeling he'll be able to tell it's not you on the other end of the line."

You started laughing at the thought alone, shoving him playfully. "I'm having a crisis, stop being funny!"

A few of Han's ex girlfriends, and even some of your own ex flings, had very readily complained about the bond you shared with each other. You weren't one to blame them for assuming - even though they couldn't be more wrong. There had never even a figment of a moment, where you even considered starting a romantic connection. Jeonghan wasn't your type and you weren't his either, no doubt about that.

"No, you know what? Fuck it", you sighed, your roommate hollering in response, celebrating your newfound courage. Without wasting any more thought, you pressed on the phone number, thumbs forming a quick sentence.

[y/n - 13:11] hi, sorry who is this?

Glancing over your shoulder to the text you'd typed out, Jeonghan could barely contain a snort. "Aw, I was hoping you'd call."

"Next time I'll just force you to imitate-", your eyes went wide as the screen turned black, phone buzzing in your hand. With one last panicked glance at a way too giddy friend, you pressed 'accept' with sweaty fingers.

"Hello, y/n speaking."

"Ah- Hi. This is Wonwoo", the vaguely familiar timber of his voice, almost made you gasp out in delight, heart already aching from all the anxiety and delight. Upon your reaction, Han shuffled even closer towards you, set on listening in on your conversation. "Mingyu's friend?", Wonwoo added after some brief silence.

"Yeah! Hi, yeah I remember! I was kinda being stupid and and left my phone, while I was out..." You hated how nervous you sounded, even to your own ears, looking for excuses when he was the one who kept you waiting. Your roommate seemed to share the sentiment, his glare way too reminiscent of a teacher scolding his student for a stupid question.

"No, please. It's...", he trailed off. "Actually, can you give me moment? I'll be right with you." The other line went quiet for a moment, aside from the sound of papers rustling. Was he at work? What kind of office work might he be doing? If he was yet another finance bro, you'd lose the number as soon as possible. You heard a soft voice mumble something next to your Mystery Man, asking him - or rather a certain 'Mr Jeon'- to sign some document.

Next to you, Jeonghan's head snapped toward you in an instance, eyes wide as he mouthed to you 'Jeon Wonwoo?' in absolute shock. Confusion was plastered all across your face, nodding your head to the unspoken question. "What?", you asked, keeping your voice barely above a whisper. Instead of providing you an answer, he pulled out his own phone, thumbs furiously typing away into the Google search bar.

"Hi again. So sorry, I'm still at the office", you almost jumped at Wonwoo's voice, sounding oh so husky and tired so close to your ear.

The smile tugging on your lips was involuntary, yet still very evident. "No worries."

He cleared his throat. "I know it's been a while, but I was wondering-", Jeonghan shoved his phone into your face, making you blink. Oh. Oh. His device displayed a very professional looking photograph of the same handsome looking man you'd met at Mingyu's Vernissage - hair just as dark, same glasses on his nose. Though what caught your eye next was the headline above his head, reading in big bold letters 'Jeon Wonwoo's rise to success! Son of Billionaire Dynasty shares his Secrets'. You felt the blood drain from your face, thoughts spinning a thousand miles an hour as you tried to process what you've read without a total mental breakdown. This couldn't be real, right? This must be some sick and twisted joke Hannie was playing on you to get back at you for something, you'd already forgotten anyway. There was no way that-

"Y/N?", you snapped back into reality, mouth feeling dryer than ever. "Still there? Should I call back another time?"

"Mhm, yeah!", you squeaked. "M- My roommate is just being annoying - What were you saying?"

Han's shock warped into sheer amusement, body shaking with the laughter he tried to muffle by pressing his palm against his mouth. You, on the other hand, felt like you were on the verge of a very serious mental breakdown. "I said, I'd like to take you out for a coffee", he repeated himself again. "I have a proposal, I'd like to talk to you about."

'A proposal?' Your eyes shot back to your friend, as if he'd magically know the details to Wonwoo's request. "Yeah, I- Sure", you willed your voice to stay as steady as possible, trying to ignore the slight waver in tone.

"Can you do today at five? I'll text you the details, of course." You couldn't stand how casual he sounded, compared to you. Was this a regular thing for him? Picking up women left and right? Paying them to hook up with him? Oh god, was he going to pay you to hook up with him? Was he one of those rich perverts, trying to indulge in some weird, funky kinks with no name people like you? You felt like crying.

"C- can we do six? I'm all sweaty", cringing at your own statement, you winced. "... From the workout. I was working out. If you couldn't tell."

And despite all the worries and anxiety, your heart still leapt, when you heard him chuckle into his phone, heat radiating off your face. "I'll choose to believe you for now. Should we do dinner instead?"

"Sounds great!" Jeonghan grabbed your shoulder, almost vibrating with joy.

"I'll text you the details - See you there?"

"Yep! Bye!" With the press of a shaky finger, you hung up.

The silence that followed was deafening, you and your friend staring at each other as though the other had grown a second head. Your nerves felt fried just from the phone conversation alone, your mind overwhelmed with every little emotion that had passed through you. Physical exhaustion had nothing on the numb feeling bubbling in the pit of your stomach. "Fuck", Jeonghan was the first to speak, his smile almost manic. "I can't believe, you're going to become a Sugar Baby."

"I'm going to die, Hannie! Die! What the fuck?! Why did I agree to this?!" Your body slumped into the kitchen counter, pressing your damp forehead against the cool granite.

"Because you're a smart independent lady, who knows an opportunity when she sees one", You could practically hear the smile in his voice. "Now get dolled up, babe, if you're lucky we don't have to pay rent anymore."

♡♡♡♡♡♡

Stiff fingers clutched the cool metal of your spoon, nervously shifting in your seat. Your lipgloss coated lips stretching into a shy smile, whenever you felt Wonwoo's eyes linger on you a second too long. This means nothing, you tried to remind yourself, ignoring the searing in your chest.

Jeonghan had tried his very best to convince you to go all on out with your outfit and makeup choices. And while you understood his motivation, you'd known how cheap you'd feel by trying to look fuckable enough for your date to pay for you. Date... If that is, what you could call it. "Mingyu's told me a lot about you", he said

"You asked him about me?" You noticed his ears turn a shade of pink as he shook his head, smiling. "You came up naturally."

Your shoulders tensed up, glancing downward to avoid any scrutiny or judgement. By all means, it shouldn't come to you as a surprise that Mingyu had mentioned you. He had seemed quite excited to see you attend his event, his enthusiasm a bright beacon of joy. You had no right to feel ashamed - or to hope Wonwoo didn't think any less of you for ghosting your mutual friend for years for some petty, personal feelings. But still, there was growing discomfort - Or was it shame? - within you that was only hard to ignore.

"Well? Do I need to plan his very brutal murder or send him a thank you letter?", you joked half heartedly.

That earned you yet another smile. You could really get used to the sight. "He told me about your art, actually. Showed me a few of your paintings too."

Your spoon hit the the edge of your plate with a loud 'clank', cheeks feeling way too hot as you gawked at him. "M- My paintings?" Whatever you'd expected to hear him say tonight, commenting on your artwork had somehow completely eluded your imagination. Instead, a myriad of horrors had played non-stop in your mind, doing its best to convince you, that this evening would either end with you murdered or, even worse, heartbroken.

"Come on, you're looking at me like I just told you pigs could fly", Wonwoo chuckled, both his tone and his gaze soft. "I liked them quite a lot."

"Oh", you muttered. "Thank you. I just... didn't expect him to mention my art."

"Artists are quick to recognize each other, I've found." Your eyes were fixed on his face then, a knowing smirk playing on the edge of his lips, as he shoveled another bite of his steak into his mouth. The compliment reached your heart first, engulfing you in a warm ray of light, while you could only nod in response. An insufficient form of gratitude, though Wonwoo didn't seem to mind. "How come you're so sassy and confident but turn shy at any genuine compliment?"

"I just don't respond well to cocky flirting. Bad habit, I guess?", you decided to play bold, having grown tired of the timid anxiety plaguing you.

But your partner seemed to be familiar with that game, your defiance only causing him to deepen his smirk. "Bad habits do die hard."

Raising your glass to your lips to mask your smile, you let him have his little moment of victory. Even if short lived. The back and forth was invigorating for sure - A welcome change, compared to all the boring dates you'd been on with men you hadn't even liked in the first place. You exhaled through your nose at the reminder alone. "But back on topic", Wonwoo adjusted his glasses. "Am I correct in assuming, you're not a full time artist?"

The wine tasted bitter to your tongue, making it hard to swallow it down. "Hm- No, unfortunately not."

"I see", he hummed. "I don't know if Mingyu's mentioned my line of work..."

This wasn't a line of questions you'd expected on a date. Business proposal? Your head felt too heavy on your shoulders, as your fingers ran over the neckline of your too tight dress. "Hannie- I mean um. My roommate told me."

Something dark flashed in his eyes, before he continued on. "Then you must also be aware of my financial status."

You nodded. "I am, yeah."

"Good. Spares me all the explaining", he joked, without much humor. "I'd like to sponsor you."

Your shoulders slumped, fingers, still toying with the fabric of your dress, going stiff all of a sudden. This wasn't just the wine talking, was it? "Oh."

This was a once in your life time opportunity, Jeonghan would never hear the end of it. This was everything you had spent nights crying over, thinking life was just so unfair. This could be everything to you. But then, why was it, that you felt like submerging your head in water, until you'd stop breathing? You were supposed to to be happier than this. Thankful too. Weren't you?

"Shit- I'm sorry, sponsor me?", you leaned toward Wonwoo, scanning for any trace of mockery or jest in his expression. "I don't wanna seem unappreciative but- You really want to sponsor me? There's a catch, right? There has to be."

Crossing his long legs, he didn't seem to shy away from your curiosity, not one to be intimidated easily. It did make sense - A business man, confronted with cutthroat competition on a daily, wouldn't really feel intimidated by some nervous no-name artist. The image of him posing on the cover of some important magazine surfaced in your mind again. "Ah, it's probably wiser to not trust offers like this at first, I can't blame you," He leaned forward in his seat. "My motivation's simple. I think you have great potential - You're a pretty lady with a lot of talent. I'd like to see you taken care of."

"Like some kind of sugar daddy?", the realization of your question hit you like a truck. your face feeling heated as you pressed your lips together, as though you could stop yourself from further embarrassment by physically silencing yourself.

Wonwoo, to your luck, merely grinned at the questions. "I mean- if you'd like that to be my official title, we can arrange that."

"Stop making fun of me!", you huffed with a pout on your lips, giggles threatening to burst past your lips. "Or- Are you not joking? Is this like a Shades of Grey fetish thing?"

"Listen", his voice fell into a hushed tone, fixing you with his gaze alone. "I'd like to spend more time with you - Doesn't mean that I'll give you a couple hundred everytime you flash me."

Spend more time with you? It felt unnecessarily difficult to think straight with his face being so close to your own, the dark brown in his eyes so alluring and warm. Gnawing on the inside of your cheeks, you furrowed your brows. It'd be a lie to say, you wouldn't like you two to grow closer. Why hope for a relationship, when this was the more sensible - more lucrative - way for you? No hurt feelings and no more financial struggles. Why hesitate? Jeonghan would kill you, if he were aware that you had any doubts about the deal. "So... You'd pay me to spend time with you? And to paint?"

"I'm not going to force you to spend time with me, if that's your question."

"No, I mean", it would prove to be an impossible task not to flush as you continued on, "This is something... not physical then? A business deal, only?"

And for the first time this evening, it was you that rendered Wonwoo speechless as he paused, his smirk slowly fading away. Instead of the self assured art snob and business man you've come to know, he appeared almost timid, insecure even, his ears blooming a pretty shade of pink. "Deals are... less complicated", his voice trailed off, gaze unfocused, sipping on his wine. "But no, this can be whatever you'd like it to be. Whatever you're comfortable with. I'd merely want to support you, if you allow me."

He was right, you knew that he was. Businesses and contracts might be a language you weren't acquainted with, but you knew the heartache of failed relationships all too well. And even if Wonwoo apparently wasn't one to kiss and tell, he seemed to be no stranger to that pain. The quiet chatter of the restaurant felt so distant in this moment. His fingers felt warm as his pinky brushed against your own, his eyes searching yours. "What do you say?", he asked, both his hands and his tone so very careful.

This was supposed to be easier, why did the words taste so heavy in your mouth? A reluctant smile, but bright nontheless. "I'd like that."

His eyes lit up. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." What could go wrong?

#wonwoo x reader #wonu x reader #svt x reader #wonwoo smut #wonwoo fluff #wonu smut #wonu fluff #listen ik this is neither fluff nor smut really i just have no idea how to tag this one #svt smut #seventeen x reader

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stanlunter · 1 month

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I'm kinda curious why you don't like catradora? Is it just not your thing or do you have reasons? Just kinda curious as I almost always only see the "they were enemies! And that makes it too toxic!" But I saw you like catra/glimmer so yeah, just curious as someone who personally likes it but also hasn't watched the show in ages

Thank you for your question

Yeah, I do hate it, mb not its fans (or at least not all of them, cuz most of them are actually super annoying, but anyways) tho. Also sorry for my bad English

As for the reasons, there are actually many reasons:

Starting with, like you said

1. Being toxic. But the difference with Glitra is that in their way It's not like Catra abuses Glimmer, no, they hate each other mutually, there ia no "abuser x victim" dynamic, bc they hurt each other mutually. Also there are no manipulations, guilt-trips, gaslighting and etc, they are completely honest with each other. While with Adora, their dynamic is rather "abuser x victim" than "enemies to lovers" bc Adora never wanted to hurt Catra, she was always only ensuring what Catra's doing and saying. Adora was always holding back, never tried to kill Catra or make her feel like nothing or hate herself and all her fights were litterally either self-defense or defense of her friends or other people who were attacked by Catra. While Catra always tried to hurt Adora, both mentally and physically, tried to kill her many times, tried to make her hate herself and etc, etc. She was the reason why Adora had such a strong hero complex and always wanted to sacrafice herself. Adora litterally had panic attacks bc of Catra. And the whole "it was a war" argument doesn't work here bc being a war criminal doesn't make Catra any better and bc Catra was toxic to Adora even when they were on the same side. She was always jealous, controlling, possesive and didn't want Adora to have other friends. She wanted Adora to belong to her, which was shown many times. Also she physically hurt her many times, gaslighted her and etc. So their relationship would be much more abusive than Glitra relationship. And what makes it even worse is that Catra has learnt all her abusive traits from SW - recognized Adora's abuser. Catra litterally copies everything the main abuser who has traumatized Adora in the forefront does, which is actually creepy af too. Even she tortures Adora in s4 she says that she took the idea from SW. So she just takes the abuse she (and Adora) has been throught and intentionally uses it against Adora

Even if you have a kink for abusive ship, you should write them well and not put them in a kid show, normalizing abuse by this. There are examples of good enemies to lovers in kid shows which aren't abusive and It's fine (like Dipper/Pacifica, Talon/Penny, Bubblegum/Marcelin kinda, Amaya and Janai (It's good and It's wlw too), even Glimmadora would work since they were enemies too and etc).

2. The whole being "basically adoptive sisters" thing. They aren't actual sisters, but they were actually implied to be so. I won’t even mention every time the CREW referred to them this way (however, there were many times), but the main problem is that their whole relationship is fully based on the "Skapegoat & Golden child" dynamic. And SW is a mother figure who loves one child and hates the other one, who always tries to earn her love and jealous and hate the favourite child. Some people say SW was just a teacher and not a mom figure, but it would be a lie at least bc 1. The crew has stated SW as a mother figure, so It's canon anyways 2. It was said by Adora that SW was like a mother to her 3. You don't try to earn your teacher's LOVE like Catra does 4. The whole thing that SW sees herself in Catra and wanted fulfil her ambitions throught Adora. Also SW wasn't a mother figure for other cadets, it wasn't actually her duty to teach Lonnie, Kyle, Rogelio and others. She was a right hand, not a teacher and she was there only for Adora bc she decided so and for Catra bc Adora wanted so. So, even if you're trying to ignore it, It's a huge part of the plot and a base of their relationship. Oddly enough, but many catradora shippers actually love to admit that "SW was a bad abusive mother", "Catra & Adora have mommy issues", "Adora is a favourite child" and etc, yet when you point it out, they start denying it. I find it strange.

Another thing is subjective, just my personal vision, but I highly dislike all "childhood friends" ships (mb with exceptions if they always actually had feelings for each other, but in catradora case we find out about it only later, especially from Adora's perspectice). Also there is a biological theory that if kids know each other since the age under 6, they see each other as siblings anyways, especially if they grow up together in the same house, especially with the sams parent figure. So, even tho it's subjective, It's an important reason to ms. And I actually did thought of them so and thought everyone does untill I joined the fandom. So even if I don't recognize "see each other as siblings" thing when it comes to usual friends who haven't been grown up together, I do with those who have. Flr example, Renora. This ship was always weird to me and when they become canon, it didn't make me love it. I don't think It's problematic, but it absolutely does make me feel uncomfortable. Like, if you haven't developed your feelings for each other for during these 10 years you were together, where are the feelings suppose to come from later?

But yeah, childhood friends thing is my subjective reason

3. Catra's redemption arc was horrible. And redemption arc is one of the most important things when it comes to enemies-to-lovers, since It's the thing that suppose to help them become canon. Everyone immidiatly has to forgive Catra and no one calls Catra out for what she has done. Even Glimmer, who's mom was killed bc of Catra or Adora who has been abused by Catra for years. And so Catra doesn't even actually changes. She just swaps sides and immidiatly becomes Adora's gf. That's the problem. If you write enemies-to-lovers, do it well

4. The whole way the shis was handled. It just doesn't make sense and completely ruins the whole development of almost all characters. Adora's development is getting destroyed and she just comes back to s1 Adora. Her whole arc was about stopping blaming herself for Catra's actions, separating from her abusers and getting a life. But she just ends up forgiving Catra and considering Catra a victim of herself. And starts blaming herself for "leaving" Catra again. They just forget everything they've been throught. And what about Catra? Catra was obsessed the whole time. She hated Adora and liked hurting her. Catra was litterally addictive to Adora. It wasn't love, it was possesion. And giving an addict a drug isn't a way to go. Catra should separated from Adora, learn how to live without the idea of being "either with her, or againt her". That's why I think her leaving the Horde with Scorpia and going to a Crimson waste would be the best happy ending for her. She would get a life, get what she wanted (being loved), what she needed and what she deserved and let her issues go. So they just aren't good for each other. Having Adora around was always hurting Catra, Catra never was able to fully show herself when Adora was with her in the Horde and she even saya that Adora leaving gave her a chance to fulfil her actual potential, so Adora leaving was the best thing happened to her. Even if Catra wasn't fully agree with her own words, it was basically truth, bc Catra actually did feel bad bc of Adora when they were together (it wasn't Adora's fault, but still). Catra was always blaming Adora for her problems and didn't stop even in s5. So It was bad not only for Adora, but for Catra as well

Also Adora never even loved Catra before. If Catra's possesion can be called love at some point, it doesn't work this way with Adora. Yeah, Adora cared about Catra as a friend, but DT was right, Adora didn't need Catra. She didn't have such big problems with letting Catra go. After s1 she forgot Catra and never recalled her as a friend, only as an enemy. So her whole "I love you too" thing just came out of nowhere and was a lie. Just like "I never hated her" bc Adora did and it was shown. Adora got new friends who care about her and getting Catra was absolutely unnecessary for her. It doesn't work even as a Stockholm Syndrome or a trauma bond, bc it was never shown and Adora got a development

Actually, if it did make sense, mb I would like it, but unfortunately it really doesn't and only ruines everything the show has been building for years, which is sad, cuz I used to love both Catra and Adora

It's also strange to me how shippers compare catradora to so many actually good wlw couples like Korrasami, Harlivy, Caitvy, Lumity, Bumbleby, Chaggie and etc, while in reality their relationship is much closer to Tauradonna (which is actually hated by Bumbleby shippers, which is ironic) and Citrus and actually Shin Soukoku and Simon/Grace, or even some actual/ almost actual siblings like Vi/Jinx, Zuko/Azula, Rapunzel/Cassandra, Claudia/Soren, Qrow/Raven, Maki/Mai, Nightwing/Red hood, Thor/Loki, White queen/ Red queen and etc.

But I would prefer to compare it to Shin Soukoku tho

So, these are the main reasons. Actually I don't understand why can't catradora shippers just admit that their ship is problematic and enjoy it as it is, bc it doesn't really make sense to just make ship a full ooc and make it romantic and sweet to like it, bc it litterally goes against the whole point and everything it always has been. So I have a big respect for those shippers who do admit the problems and enjoy it without lying to themselves and gaslighting others tbh

Anyways, thanks for a question, it was actually interesting to answer it and you can feel free to asnwer, desagree or agree, Im not a hater or smth

#Anti catradora #Anti c//a #anti spop s5 #spop criticism #spop critical

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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wibta if I told my best friend they can no longer move in with my family next year?

Me (17f) and my friend (17) have been friends for about 5 years. Around 6 months ago we were discussing university and they mentioned they wanted to study at the university that is in my city. We discussed them potentially moving into my house while they study here. They would still be paying rent, it would just be a bit cheaper for them and we would get to live together. I discussed this with my parents and after a while they said yes.

The problem is recently I haven't actually been feeling very supported or understood by my friend. This feeling kinda started when I expressed doubt about being able to succeed in the career I have been working towards because my mental health is shit and idk if I can deal with the pressure involved, and they said that they were glad I reached this conclusion myself because they didn't think I could do it either. Which kinda hurt yk like they were correct and I have switched plans as of now, but I feel they couldve been nicer. Other than that I feel like neither of have done anything wrong I just think this is an aging thing, we're no longer 13 and have changed in similar ways, but I've begun to realise the way we see the world is vastly different. Also we recently keep getting into petty arguments, which is kinda my fault bc im autistic and have very strong opinions and never know when to shut up, but they're also like that we're both just very stubborn and opinionated people. Basically I feel the friendship isn't as strong as it once was and I don't like the idea of having to live with them during uni (also dont really like the idea of living with anyone tbh I fucking hate socialising and want to live alone).

I feel like it's important to mention that although them living with me is cheaper, their family is financially very stable so they could comfortably afford to live in the uni halls or some apartment. Telling them they can't live with me wouldn't be financially that bad, its more so that I said they could and I feel that going back on my word might be quite cruel?

Also recentlyish we've been making plans of living together and buying a house etc and yeah basically a lot of commitments have been made at a young age and I feel quite trapped. Also feels relevant to add that this feeling is definitely not mutual and they have no idea I feel this way, I'm 99% sure they are still very eager to go through with all this. I'm generally quite a communicative person, it's just these are all pretty new feelings and I'm not sure exactly what I feel.

Also sorry another thing that's probably relevant, they're aroace and our relationship idk what it is but I think it kinda goes deeper than the average friendship its kinda like a qpr but not lol.

So yeah wibta if I told them they couldn't live in my house for uni and should find somewhere else?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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bookshelfmonkey · 3 months

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Thanks for the tag @storkmuffin :)

Are you named after anyone? Not my first name, which I just chose because I liked it, but one of my middle names is Bowie (as in David Bowie).

When was the last time you cried? A couple of weeks ago, when I was feeling completely overwhelmed by the state of trans rights globally and especially in the UK (where I live) and the ongoing tragedies happening as a result. (Sidenote: it's weird to me how little I've cried since starting T, I used to cry multiple times a week and now it's every few months)

Do you have kids? No.

What sports do you play/have you played? I swam for about 6-8 years as a kid but always kinda hated it, and eventually quit when the dysphoria became too much. I did football and badminton on and off too, but was never really good at anything (asthma & possible dyspraxia & hypermobility etc.). Now I'm trying to run and work out mostly just to stay healthy. I'd like to get back into swimming but can't really afford to go to a pool regularly and I'm scared to go by myself. I also go to a lgbtq+ football club weekly when I'm in my hometown (my friend started an under-18s one which I used to do too and it was pretty much my only positive experience of sports).

Do you use sarcasm? Rarely, and only with close friends where we mutually joke like that with each other.

What's the first thing you notice about people? I actually don't know. I think most of the time I'm too caught up in the anxiety of meeting someone new that I'm more focussed on myself.

What's your eye colour? Bluey grey.

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings. I'll watch some scary movies but sometimes they just make me too anxious to enjoy them.

Any talents? I can read pretty quickly with good comprehension (I like to take my time when reading for fun, but as an english lit student who always has a fuck ton of essays and shit to read, it's handy), I can bake really good gingerbread, and I'm weirdly good at immitating people's walks (the same way some people can do voice impressions).

Where were you born? A small city in south west england (not saying more than that for safety/privacy).

What are your hobbies? I read (a lot); I write fiction, poetry, book reviews & TV show reviews (see pinned post on where to find some of these); I embroider and sew; I enjoy baking and cooking but don't do it much atm because I don't like my flatmates so I spend as little time as possible in our kitchen where I might see them; I like going for walks but it can be difficult to get out into nature without a car (ironically) and sometimes I just solve number puzzles/do maths for fun.

Do you have any pets? Yes, this idiot (affectionate). Technically she lives with my parents, but still. Her name's Pepper and she's a generic black cat (it's hard to work out breeds of cats and she's an adopted former stray so there's no breeding history or whatever).

How tall are you? 1.72m

Favourite subject in school? It alternated between english literature and maths.

Dream job? Author/forest wizard/please don't make me enter the workforce (I'm a uni student atm)/I don't know what I want to do with my life.

@yourlocalcorvidcryptid @autisticfordprefect @feral-enfield-with-wifi sorry if any of y'all have already done this and I missed it.

#my posts #my life #tag game

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starrysharks · 2 months

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ZENO STARRYSHARKS BIG FAQ. YAY

this is gonna go over all the questions people ask me about my art, OCs, etc etc ^^ starting with -

ART QUESTIONS:

Q: WHAT DO YOU USE TO DRAW?

A: ibispaint x on shitty samsung. no stylus just my fingers. very occasionally (and not in several months now) i will use MS paint with a wacom tablet and pen!

Q: WHAT BRUSHES DO YOU USE?

A: main lineart pens are love pen and dip pen (hard) on a 60-80% opacity. when i do my pencil style i use hard mapping pen (bleed).

Q: HOW DO YOU DO THAT SCREENTONE THING?

A: this PNG.

you're gonna place the png over where you want to add a halftone, and then lasso that area. then, click "invert selection area", and erase over the halftone layer. it should only be left on the area you wanted it to be on. you can change the color with alpha lock.

Q: HOW DO YOU COLOR SO WELL?

Q: HOW DO YOU DRAW DIFFERENT BODY TYPES?

A: it's kinda complicated because i myself believe that i have poor body diversity when it comes to my original characters, but i'll try to explain myself. by a general rule, contrast is most important. top-heavy, bottom-heavy, larger lower limbs, smaller lower limbs, etc etc etc it's all in the contrast baybe. let's use nova (a skinny character), pins (a top-heavy character), and novocaine (a fat character) as examples. please ask me directly if you want any advice on other body types.

firstly, nova. she is very thin with a more scrawny build rather than athletic. to draw her, there are three parts (excluding arms) -

head, body and legs.

these are parts that almost every character has and the most important thing about them is their size. different characters will have different sized heads and bodies and legs as we'll see later, based on age, body type, etc... nova is only a teen, so she'll have a big head with big eyes to up the childish moe-factor of her design! other than that, she's pretty proportionate by anime standards with a regular sized body and long legs.

however for a character like pins a lot changes. pins is extremely top heavy, and larger than nova. he has a muscular build that's heavily unrealistic - while there's probably someone out there with a similar build to nova absolutely nobody can achieve the elusive pins build. because his body is so exaggerated, it must be the forefront, and he has small legs and a small head to compensate.

because i have few muscles in my oc roster, i tend to exaggerate the buffest characters. i would give another example but his existence is spoilers for the project he belongs to. ;;

when it comes to fat characters, i have little to say for dudes because i don't draw them often (sorry fat guy enthusiasts 💔). but novocaine is an example of how i go about drawing fat girls. namely it all comes back to contrast - rather than drawing her ankles and lower arms larger, i draw them smaller to emphasise the size of her thighs, hips and upper arms as when it comes to irl fat people, those parts are usually larger. i also added more examples from my dangan art.

Q: WHAT INSPIRES YOU?

otherwise the proportions are similar to the skinny teen model, just with shorter legs.