Clive head pats

Clive head pats 🤍

hi bestie! i’ve had this idea for a while, but i haven’t seen it. can you do like a head cannon of what miguel, robby, and eli/hawk would be like as an older brother? it can be totally based off what you think :) thank you <3

of course! sorry it took me a while but i needed to to be perfect. i also added two bonus boys at the end (hope you don’t mind). little note: i wrote this with a fem reader in mind because of the mentions of periods. 

Having the Cobra Kai boys as older brothers

miguel:

you and miguel are so close

the age difference does not affect him at all

he is very protective of you before cobra kai

but once he joins cobra kai that over protectiveness 📈📈📈

let’s just say that this kid is bothering you

miguel definitely notices and scares them off

you act annoyed about it, but you’re highkey grateful that he did that

“my brother is the all valley champ so back the fuck off”

you were so excited for him at the all valley

you wore one of his cobra kai shirts and everything

miguel is so supportive of whatever extra curricular you do

karate? yes he stans, theater? you bet he’s at all your shows, dance? you know he’s bringing you some flowers, another sport? he’s at every game cheering for you

miguel knows about periods, and he has no shame in buying you tampons/pads

“hey y/n, i noticed you were running low so i got you some more” 🥺🥺 

you wear his hoodies all the time

they are very big on you, but very comfy

you help him with sam

“i punched her in the face” “what why?”

“y/n what do you think about this?” “it looks great miguel. sam will love it”

when he dates tory you're a little on edge about it

“miguel, weren’t you like trying to win sam back two days ago?” “i like tory now” “okayy” 

johnny loves you as much as he loves miguel

y’all hang out together

his friends are your friends and vice versa

your friends definitely think that miguel is cute but “eww that’s my brother”

when miguel is in the coma you blame johnny

“he showed mercy because of you! you did this!”

but then you cry into his chest

when miguel wakes up you’re at school

you don’t find out until after school when carmen picks you up

you hug him so tight, rambling about how much you love him

“i love you too y/n now get off me”

you can’t keep up with his love life

“y/n i’m with sam again” “what?” 

overall your bond is amazing and you couldn’t ask for a better brother

robby:

you and robby both live with your mother (because we aren’t basic here)

you’re the odd one out (your mom does drugs and robby sells them)

“you got caught with molly? i thought you and sara were hooking up?” “the drug y/n”

when robby starts being friends with those punk kids, the two of you start to drift

you actually go to school, unlike him

“just skip y/n” “no robby”

it isn’t until he gets back on track because of daniel that you two start getting close again

“i’m gonna get back on track y/n i promise” and you believe him

you go to the skatepark with him

he skates while you read or draw or skate (whatever you’re into tbh)

when you’re on your period robby will buy you stuff, but he doesn’t like to

he feels so awkward about it

“um are these the right ones?” “yes thank you”

robby gives the best hugs (idk why he just does)

i feel like robby is also really good at reading emotions

like he knows when you’ve had a bad day at school or when you’re stressed about something

he also knows how to cheer you up :)))

“i know you did not just eat cereal with water???” “and what about it?”

when your mom comes back after being gone for days robby pulls you behind him

because he really doesn’t want you to be exposed to that

you cry into robby’s chest once she leaves

“why can’t she just be our mom?”

when daniel asks robby to move in with him he denies

but quickly explains that he can’t leave you

daniel tells robby that you can come too

“thanks for helping my brother mr.larusso, i really appreciate it”

you definitely walk in on robby and sam making out at some point

“hey robby- oh my god i’m so sorry” slaps hand over eyes and immediately leaves the room

when robby pushes miguel off the balcony it's the first time you’re genuinely scared of him

you visit him in jail, but it takes awhile for you to go

“i’m sorry y/n” “i know robby”

you just understand each other

when robby joins cobra kai he tries to get you in too

you agree to one lesson, and know it’s not for you

you have many arguments about this

“he’s brainwashing you!” “he knows what’s best for me, for us!”

robby feels so betrayed when he finds out you’re staying with johnny

the two of you definitely drift after that, but you find your way back to each other, you always do

eli/hawk:

okay so before he flips the script you defend eli, no matter what

you cry with him about the bullies and definitely try to fight kyler more than once

you wear his sweaters (fight me on it)

you encourage him to do karate

when he flips the script you’re very happy for him he finally feels confident in himself and you love that for him

now the roles are reversed

hawk protects you now

no one even dares to look at you because they are scared of him

i feel like he has a tattoo for you, whether that's your name or your favorite flower idk but he gets one for you

“um wow okay we’re doing that now” “do you like it or not?” “yeah but i wasn’t expecting it”

sometimes he’ll let you pick his hair color “how about purple” “maybe” 😉

he definitely flirts with your friends “hello ladies!” “hi hawk!” “get out!”

you’re the only one that is allowed to call him eli

“eli i need ten dollars?” “for what?” “a snack” *hands over the money*

“eli can i have your sweatshirt? i’m cold” “yeah take it”

“i can’t, me and eli are going to the movies today”

one day you’re sitting with him and his minions (you refuse to call them friends) at lunch

“so eli” -one of the cobra kais “shut the fuck up! you can’t call him that!” -you

hawk has a proud brother moment

anything that you do hawk is like “fuck yeah that’s my sibling!”

his friends are not allowed to look at you, talk to you, have a crush on you, or even think about you

“woah dude she’s hot” “that’s my fucking sister! stay away from her!”

“eli who’s your friend-” “NO!” 

as eli he will buy you period products but is very shy about it

as hawk he will not be caught dead in that isle of cvs

“eli i need them!” “i don’t care! i’ll drive you there and you can run in and get them”

when hawk breaks demetri’s arm you don't speak to him for weeks

you confront him about his new behavior

“this is who i am!” “no it’s not! you’re not my brother!” 

you’re crying and then storm off to your room

that breaks him

is highkey the start of his redemption

when he’s at the fight at the larusso house, and he sees demetri about to get his arm broken, he thinks of your words: “you're not my brother!”

literally motivates him to fix things

you see hawk and demitri and just know that your brother is back

you hug him so tight

“you were right y/n. i’m sorry” “of course i was. i’m always right” “gee thanks” “love you”  

bonus demetri:

he is a nerd, you are a nerd

the two of you watch star wars, marvel, harry potter, etc. together 

“daddy anakin” “please shut the fuck up”

you want to punch him in the face because he is so sarcastic 

it gets on your nerves 

bust out laughing when johnny makes fun of his pi shirt 

“stop laughing” “if it’s funny i'm gonna laugh”

even though you’re a nerd you’re cool 

like you have a lot of friends in your grade 

“demetri if i don’t talk to you at the halloween party that’s why” gestures to his costume 

listen to his rants about how eli’s changed 

you try to give him advice, but it doesn’t work out

so proud of him when he joins miyagi-do

“i'm glad you’re stepping out of your comfort zone” 

demetri tries to get you to join miyagi-do

if you do join great more sibling bonding

if you don’t join no biggie y’all are still besties

y’all go to the comic book store together

its sibling bonding time

you threaten to fight hawk after the laser tag thing 

“hey asshole you leave my brother alone!” 

you sign his cast first

you definitely write some inside joke that only the two of you understand

you see him kissing yas and do a whole 🤮

“so you dating yas?” “idk why” “just checking”

very obvious about your distaste for her

when him and hawk become friends again you’re very wary

“he broke your arm” “he apologized” “he broke your arm!!!”

eventually you and hawk are on semi decent terms

“demetri forgave you and that’s fine but i’m still not over it”

your relationship = the perfect mix of love and teasing  

bonus bonus king bert 🙌🏻:

you are older than him by like a year

but you’re still besties for life 

you’re very proud of him when he joins cobra kai

“im joining a karate dojo” “period pop off”

you always ruffle his hair 

cheer for him at the all valley

“yeah bert!”

but also like you can’t watch 

when he gets eliminated you cringe 

he’s sad about it 

“i just wanted to impress you” “im very impressed bert, you did great” 

your opinion matters so much to him

he’s such a small cinnamon roll 🥺🥺

seeing him with the older cobra kai boys makes you soft

“y/n i’m going out with hawk and miguel can you drive me?” 

bert admires you a lot, like you are his hero

y’all are the best sibling duo and that’s on period

suna rintaro is NOT a genius.

summary: you loved the idea of soulmates. suna rintaro didn’t. it isn’t that hard to put two and two together to realize that maybe people with different opinions on things don’t belong together.

part 2

a/n: this was literally supposed to be a series, i gave up on it because i just didn’t like the way it turned out. it used to be called “out of my league” and this was the intro. i also renamed it. just emptying drafts!! please don’t get confused with the random timeskip, once again, this was a part of a series i never ended up posting😭

WARNING!!: suggestive themes, mentions of death, idk kinda angsty but tell me if i missed anything

Soulmates. Whatever the hell that means. The idea of soulmates is something I truly don’t understand. It’s bullshit, honestly. It’s all-pervasive.

My mother always told me I'd eventually find "the one.” I used to believe that when I was younger of course. But in my opinion? It’s all cliches. It's unhelpful, and it's certainly not true. Destiny is an excuse for the weak. Why do you think most marriages end in divorce? It's 'cause people who believe they are “destined to be" assume everything will fall into place without any effort. I don't appreciate people pontificating bullshit like that just to make me feel better, especially if they haven't found their "soulmate" themselves. My sister once told me, “People who believe in soulmates are more likely to break up and encounter more difficulty in their relationship, which will lead them to give up on one another eventually.”

I sure do believe that.

My mother is a prime example. Fumeiko Suna, my dear mother. Well, she clearly hasn’t found hers. I found out when I came home after a tedious day of school in 5th grade and found my dear mother on the floor crying, with bruises all over her face and a busted lip.

Initially, I thought a burglar had broken into our home once again, but if that were the case then there would’ve been missing furniture. But there wasn’t.

In fact, the place seemed cleaner than usual. When I ran up to her and asked her what had happened, there he was. The devil himself. My father. He reeked of alcohol, and I could detect his shadow towering over me. It’s funny how that I think of it. I used to fear that son of a bitch. Now, I’m way taller than him, and hate his guts. I turned around to see a faux-sympathetic smile plastered on his face.

He explained how my mother was being “clumsy” and had fell and busted her lip on one of the corners of the kitchen table and when I turned back around to face my mother, she smiled gently and nodded in agreement. She didn’t say anything after that.

It was then I realized my father had beat my mother to a pulp.

Long story short, when I found it was my father, sure, I was frightened. In fact, I remember going into my siblings’ rooms to inform them, they shrugged it off and told me that dad had been doing it for a while now.

Over time, when my dad had found out that I was aware, he didn't mind beating the absolute shit out of my mother in front of all three of us. This was when my burning hatred for that man started. Nobody in the house even attempted to stop him. I did a few times, though. He took all his anger out on me. At least my mom had a break for the day.

I almost pitied my mother. Almost. Maybe if she was strong enough to leave him, then yeah, I’d feel bad. But she still decides to stay with his sorry ass. It’s pathetic. It’s unrequited love or whatever you call it. How could she still love that asshole?

I mean, I’m not even going to lie, I’m an asshole too, but I’m definitely not my dad. I would never want to be him. He’s not someone I looked up to, he doesn’t do anything inspirational. He’s a businessman. He travels the majority of the time, and I’m pretty sure my mom invites men over when he’s gone. I don’t care enough to find out. But if I ever hear some guy rearranging my mom’s guts, I’ll kill him. I don’t even blame my mother. What she’s doing is wrong, she knows it and so do both of my older siblings. But they don't seem to care so why should I?

Who knows why she just won’t leave him. Maybe it’s cause they don’t want to ruin how people view our “picture perfect” family. I wonder what they’d say. “I thought the Suna’s were the ideal family? I guess not.”

My dad would probably lose it if he heard that.

Both my mother and my father are the cause of this broken family of mine. They never fed me or any of my siblings the love we always desired when we were younger. They never came to any of my volleyball games when I was younger. They never applauded me for the little recitals we’d have in class in primary school. They were never even here for most of my childhood. They always put money first and left us with the housekeepers. Hell, the housekeepers probably know me better than my own parents.They failed as parents. I despise them for it. They’re most likely the reason I am the way I am, but to be honest?

I don’t give a fuck.

In fact, I should thank them! Because of how they “raised” me, i’m extremely blunt, which is why people respect me. I use the hatred I have for my family and take it out on people and no, I’m not proud of that. I may be a heartless asshole, but I like that people fear me. The hell? Does that make me a sadist? Either way, people know to never fuck with me cause I’d fuck their shit up. I’ve overheard many people say it’s ‘cause of my privilege. It probably is. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can buy you many other things.

If my parents were broke, I’d probably be expelled from school by now. Abuse of alcohol and drugs are forbidden on school property. I don’t even take them at school, I somewhat care about my education and health, but sometimes I just need to blow some steam. Even if I did, nobody’s gonna say shit since my dad is the head of Japan’s board of education. How did his ass even get there?

Call me lonely or cynical. Maybe I am. But how is that a bad thing? Why do people need a significant other to rely on? What, a soulmate is just going to turn my life upside down then suddenly bring me happiness? Pfft, I’m gonna need actual proof that shit like that still happens. I’ve only seen shit like that in fairy tale movies. It’s whatever, though. I can live with being alone. I’ve basically been alone my whole life and it isn’t as bad as people make it.

You loved the idea of having a soulmate. The thought of meeting someone who just understood you, accepted you for who you were, and most importantly, loved you excited you. You couldn’t wait to meet your soulmate.

But recently, you weren’t sure soulmates existed.

When your older sister, Akira, came into your room and burst into tears, it frightened you. Your older sister, the one who’d always provide you advice on relationships and how to keep one was in your room sobbing hysterically because hers hadn’t worked out.

“I just can't believe it,” she sobbed.

You couldn’t believe it either. Your sister had recently gotten engaged to her boyfriend of 9 years. They started dating at the age of 15 and managed to make things work out even after high school, and out of all those years of dating, they never broke up. Not even once.

They’d go on romantic dates on Saturdays and they’d always write love letters to one another every day, just to remind one another of how grateful they were to have each other in their lives. On Halloween, they’d dress up as fictional characters from TV shows and books and take cute selfies and bake a bunch of sweets. They’d invite you to come bake with them, but you would politely deny. You knew they were only offering so you wouldn’t feel left out, which you appreciated.

Of course, they’d argue every now and then, but at the end of the day, they always managed to talk things out. Oh to have a relationship like theirs. They were everything you wanted to have in a relationship and more.

“I really thought he was the one for me, y’know?” No, you don’t know. But that doesn't matter. What mattered was cheering your sister up.

“Maybe he wasn’t ‘the one’ Akira, and that’s okay! People come and go all the time, soulmates come and go all the time as well-”

“You still believe soulmates are real, huh?” she let out a humorless laugh and sniffed her nose, “What If I missed my one shot at love, Y/N? What if I lost my soulmate?”

That’s some deep shit.

Now that you think about it, were soulmates real? Soulmates come and go, yes, you’re aware of that, but even though they leave, it’s always temporary. Soulmates always find a way back to their other half, the piece that completes them.

Your dad never made it back to your mother.

He died in a car crash 5 years ago. Your mother and father had been arguing because she claimed your father was cheating on her since he wouldn’t let her check his phone.

You were 13 at the time. Your sister Akira was accompanying you in your room, listening to them arguing back and forth with one another. There was furniture flying across the room, glass breaking, and both of them throwing curses at each other. You were scared. They never argued in front of you and your sister. They'd bicker sometimes, but it was never anything too deep.

Eventually, your father had enough of your mother’s false accusations, and out of anger, he packed his things and left home. For weeks. It wasn’t until one of your uncles called your mother and broke the news. She didn’t take it very well.

Late 2012-early 2013.

Not many people came to your father’s funeral, his family didn’t like the fact that he and your mother were together, they said your mother was trouble, but your dad still stayed with her, even if that meant it would completely destroy the bond he had with his family. Now that’s true love, you had thought. Only your mother, Akira, the Sunas, your uncle, and you, of course, attended the funeral.

It hurt a lot. It hurt when your mother informed both your grandparents on your mother and father’s side and all they could do is put the blame on her. It hurt how they had claimed you, Akira and your mother were a hindrance to your dear father’s well-being. How could they be so cruel at a time like this?

That was the first time you ever questioned if soulmates were real. Maybe they fell in love at the wrong time? Who knows.

After your father’s passing, Fumiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, was there to help your family out financially. Your mother couldn’t even find the motivating to go to work. Your mother and Fumiko have been best friends since junior high, they’ve literally been inseparable ever since. In fact, after they both got married, they decided to live right next to each other.

Your mom didn’t cope with your father’s death very well; none of you did. But your mom had it the worst.

She would cope with alcohol and clubbing which would always result in her bringing different men home almost every night. You didn’t say much about it, you thought it would be selfish to since that’s what seemed to make your mother feel better about herself, but your sister hated it. She was already 19 and in college at the time, but when she visited and found out that your mother had basically been neglecting you, she was furious.

“Seriously, mom? This is what you’re gonna do while your 13-year-old daughter is in her room having a literal mental breakdown because of your childish behavior?” Your sister had barged into your mother’s room when she thought you were asleep, she was screaming loud.

“You’re interrupting something important, Akira. You know better than to-”

“Oh, shut the hell up mom. You’re the last person on earth to be saying shit like that.”

“Well, if you’re done, you can leave my room now. You’re being disrespectful, and this behavior is not tolerated!” Your mother was screaming now. The man in the bed covering his body under the covers and looking back and forth between Akira and your mother.

“Sakiya, maybe you should hear your daughter out-”

“Not now.” your mother scarcely interrupted the man, eye contact never leaving Akira. “Y/N has never complained about this when you were in college. She knows this is my way of coping, why can’t you understand that too!”

Akira scoffed. “So what, getting fucked by random strangers you find on the filthy streets is your way of coping? Getting wasted every damn night to the point where Y/N has to drag you up to bed is okay with you? Do you even know how much this is affecting Y/N? Did you even bother asking her how she felt? I hate breaking it to you mom, but you need serious help.”

“You selfish child!” Your mother screamed, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her body, getting up from the bed. “How dare you say that to your own mother?”

“I’m only telling the truth! If you’re the mother, then it’s your job to be taking care of Y/N, not neglecting her. When’s the last time you’ve engross in an actual conversation with her when you were fully sober?”

Your mother was silent. She quickly walked up to Akira and grabbed her by the hair and slammed her headfirst against the wall.

“You’ve got a big mouth! Maybe I should wash it with soap like I did back in the day, hm?” Akira was attempting to push her mother away, but she wouldn’t let go of her grip. The man that was still on your mother’s bed was in panic, yelling her name, which didn’t have any effect. He might as well stop.

"Look," Akira mumbled, struggling to get away from your mother's grip, "I know it's been hard ever since dad left-"

“Mom! Let go of her!” You cried from the door of her room.

All 3 adults froze and looked at your glassy eyes, mouths wide open.

“Hey, kiddo, I thought you were asleep?” Akira playfully said, your mother let go of Akira and crossed her arms then looked away from you.

“Well, I can't really go to sleep when there’s a bunch of adults yelling about my well-being,” you muttered incoherently. You quickly wiped the uncontrollable tears off your face and sighed.

“Honey,” your mom started, she walked slowly to you, carefully examined your face, and attempted to hug you, but you didn’t accept the offer which made your mother frown. She stopped walking until she was almost face to face with you and placed a hand on your shoulder gently. “Baby, your sister told me that you weren’t happy. Is this true?”

You looked away from her and stared dully at the floor, subtly shifting your feet, then you softly shook your head “no.”

“See Akira, Y/N is happy. So please stop stressing her out.” Your mother said through gritted teeth, then faced you once again. “Y/N honey, how about I go tuck you into bed, hm? I’m so sorry for the excessive noise that was caused.”

“Mom, how clueless can you be? Y/N looks miserable! It’s unhealthy for Y/N to be living-“

Slap.

Your mother just slapped Akira on the face.

“I know what’s best for my daughter! I am her mother! You are not the one who should be telling me how to take care of my own kid!”

“That’s enough, Sakiya.” a familiar voice said from the door.

“Fumeiko-“

“It’s fine. Sakiya, we need to talk.” It was Fumeiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, also known as your next door neighbor. She had been standing in the hallways the whole time, you didn’t even know she was there. Akira was the one who called her over.

That night your mother agreed to get help for her drinking problem. She was gone for 6 months. During those 6 months, the Suna’s took you in since Akira would be in college and you couldn’t have been more grateful.

You and Rintaro were the only kids in the house, being that you both were the same age and the others were in college. It was okay, they were all very polite, dinners were awkward, you could feel some sort of tension between the family but you didn’t pay any attention to it.

When your mom finally came back, it was awkward at first. She still seemed the same, loving and caring, just sober and free of alcohol. It was nice. You two spent the weekends bonding at the mall, watching a movie, or even getting your nails done. Eventually, she gained your trust back, and you couldn’t have been happier.

January 2017.

“Akira, don’t say that. You may not believe me now, but you are such an amazing person, don’t ever think you’ll never find love again. It’s all about having a positive mindset!” you said, thoughtfully stroking her hair as her head laid on your chest.

“I told you that.”

“You did,” you chuckled, “you should take your own advice.

“Oh, shut up!” you both laughed, and Akira let out a shaky sigh. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Of course, you don't need to thank me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

— so this is one of the writings that i wrote in January 😭 it’s been in my drafts and i re-read it once and instantly hated it right after. if there’s any typos please tell me!!

— also i wanna apologize again for putting gmds on hiatus,, i feel so bad 😭 i wanna make it up to you guys but idk how so if you have suggestions pls tell me

( GHOST IN MY BED. )

Sometimes, hating someone is the only thing you can do.

pairing.  jjk x named f!reader.  a bit of jhs x named f!reader (but not really)?

genre + rating.   rockstar!au.  e2l (exes n enemies!).  general flangst?  anguf?  a blend of angst and fluff, tbh.  mainly angst tho.

tags / warnings.  sibling dynamics, introspective sadness, talk about not-so-healthy relationships (obviously), dumbass!jk, asshole!jk, jealous!jk, how many more jk tags can i add?, a silly reference to scott pilgrim.  nothing serious. 

beta reader(s).  @hobi-gif​ aka the loml!!!

wc.  3.1k

chapter four.

You and Yoongi don’t fight.  It’s always been a point of pride - something to look at and smile on. 

That must be why it feels so terrible now, with his knuckles blown white and enough rage to start a war simmering within his veins.  You’ve never seen him like this:  a world away from your soft Yoon, your best friend, your beloved brother.

“Yoongi, really--” 

“No.  Stop saying that.”  Despite the fact that you know his anger isn’t directed at you - that you’re the farthest target in his mind - it still hurts, like getting caught in friendly fire.  Pinpricks of guilt spill across your skin, nerve endings shot to hell by the way his mouth curls and tears, venom laced between his teeth and draped across his tongue.  “He came here and you didn’t tell me?  I told you - I’ll kill him.”

Hyperbole, you’re sure, but you can’t help the way your heart stutters.  A little oh no for a boy who doesn’t deserve it - whose silhouette still carves a spectacularly painful hole in your chest.

“I didn’t want you to worry--”  It’s not an excuse.  It’s not meant to be.  You never lie to Yoongi.  Frankly, you don’t think you could.  

“You’re my sister.”

It’s enough of a rebuttal that you’re reduced to silence.  He’s right.  You’re family;  family don’t keep secrets.

“I’m sorry,”  you try again, feeble and emphatic.  

There’s an unbearable distance between you - a sea’s worth of sadness that rocks the rickety boat you’ve built.  You can practically see it stretching on and on, sweeping you further and further from his safe shores.  It’s an awful feeling. 

“You’re my sister,”  he repeats, suddenly so tired you worry for him.  For once, he looks that much older than you, as if five years have forced passages of experience within his pages.  “You can’t hide things from me.  Who’s going to be there for you if not me?”  

You want to rebuff him - insist that you’re stronger than he gives you credit for - but you know it’s not what he means.  More than anyone, Yoongi believes in you.  He sees your strength even when you can’t see your own;  he’s been that strength more times than you can count.  

The reality of your situation isn’t lost on you.

He’s the only one who knows everything you’ve been through.  A diary in living breathing form, full of your most shameless secrets, your deepest worries, your worst heartbreaks.  

“I know.”  Apology threads each syllable, stitches them neatly to each other.  The sincerity is blinding, bright white and earnest.  “I didn’t mean to make you worry.”  

The smile he offers is rueful, twisting the edge of his mouth in a manner you’ve adopted over the years.  You return it without thought and then, all at once, the expanse is closed.  He’s laughing - a sound that doesn’t ring true in the way you know it should - but it’s a laugh and you know everything is okay.

“Still worried,”  he returns with a quiet sigh and flick of his wrist.

You’re with him in a breath, curled against his side on the couch you’d cried yourself to sleep on just days ago.  While you’re both far closer in size than you’ve ever been - you were always a tiny kid growing up, even against Yoongi’s own slim frame - it’s reminiscent of your childhood and being caught beneath haphazardly strewn sheets and disorganised chaos in the form of blanket forts.

Dry lips find a home against the side of your head, his arm dragging you to warmth.  “You’re an idiot, you know.”  He says it in the way only an older brother can - with all the frustration and love in the world.  

You do know, intimately well, how idiotic you are.  Have been.  Seemingly always will be.

“I know,”  you mumble, sad into the raised hood of your sweater.  “But I made him leave.”  It sounds like a child begging for praise - to be told they’ve done well.  You won’t deny you need it now.  

Good is the first thing Yoongi says, a little flippant and with a hard set of his jaw.  More comes when he catches your expression and the way the dent forms between your brows, the tiny pout of your lips.  It’s the same face you’ve made all your life - one that hits him right behind the ribs like a Whack-A-Mole game at the carnival.

“You did good, Vivi.  I’m proud of you.”  They’re bandages, sticky and adhesive on the stitches Jungkook’s visit had torn open.  “You’re great and he’s…”  There are words he’d like to use - a million scathing adjectives to paint the asshole in technicolour - but he knows better.  Knows you can’t take it, at least not right now.  “He doesn’t deserve you.  You get that, right?  You’re better off without him.”

You nod against his side but offer nothing further.  The silence speaks worrying volumes.

“You’re not going to answer him again, right?”  

Some half-mumbled non-committal response comes.  Yoongi wants to tear his own hair out.  Better yet, he wants to tear yours out.  Instead, he blows a long exhale through his nose, free hand coming to scrub across his face.  When will you learn?  

“I’m scared.”

It’s so quiet even you hardly hear it, ear tucked against the cotton of Yoongi’s flannel.  You think, for a moment, maybe he’s missed it too.  Then he squeezes you a little tighter:  a silent reassurance.

“Seeing him again just brings back so many memories.”  Every other word is muffled but it’s the most you can do.  Courage is carried quietly - too loud and you’ll shatter it.  “I thought three years would be enough.  It should be, right?”

It’s a rhetorical question;  Yoongi still debates answering it, just for his own sake.

“Maybe he’s changed.  Or maybe I’ve changed.  It could be different.”  It’s a clandestine belief and one you shouldn’t speak to life - especially to your brother.  It spills forth of its own accord, wrong for so many reasons but begging to be asked.  You have no control over it and the hope it sows somewhere within your chest.

“You can’t actually believe that.”  

It’s infinitely more scathing than Hoseok’s reaction, tearing out of Yoongi’s mouth like a bullet.  You can’t help the way you frown, brows drawn and lips pursed.  You’ve known Yoongi your whole life.  Reading between the lines feels like you’re fucking stupid but you know it’s not quite so harsh.  A frustrated you dumb idiot, maybe.

“Don’t make that face.”  

“I’m not making any face.”  

“Yes, you are.  It’s the same one you made when I embarrassed you on your first date.  Also the one you made after you threw up all over Hoseok’s shoes the first night you met him.”  The recollection doesn’t help your cause - you’re grimacing even more deeply, chagrin spilling into misery in the form of red hot heat over your cheeks.  “Don’t resent me for being realistic, Vivi.  You know he hasn’t changed.”

The silence is childish.  You know that.

“You can’t fix people.”

He arrives with flowers.  Two full bunches of your favourite blooms - pretty peonies in shades of coral and lavender.  They’re heavy in his arms, held so gingerly it’s almost comical as he extracts himself from the vehicle he most definitely should not be driving.  He wonders whether you’ll be home - if he’ll get to see your expression when he presents them to you.  He hopes you’ll light up, brighter than the sun in the sky and better than any nightlight.  

What he doesn’t expect is someone walking up the sidewalk, gym bag slung across his shoulder like he’s getting ready to settle in for a long night.  Short - atleast a few inches shorter than himself - with a stupid face that makes Jungkook want to punch it.  Dumb shoes, too.  Who the fuck wears Off-White Jordan 1s in that colourway?

There’s a permanent scowl etched across his face as he watches from behind the tinted comfort of his car, single hand caught around the edge of the door.  He’s vaguely aware of the fact that he’s perhaps crushing the stems cradled in his arms, inked knuckles blown white around quickly crumpling brown paper.

Maybe he’s your neighbour.  Or maybe he’s going to the other house or maybe—

No, he’s definitely walking right up the front path.

The words are out before Jungkook can stop them, shouted into the quiet afternoon more loudly than he anticipates.  “Hey!”

Dumbass with the face turns, full of surprise and wandering eyes.  He hesitates halfway up your stoop, looking stupider than ever as he looks around for the source of the voice.  

Then his stare falls on the brunet with his hands full and it’s like a flip has switched - mouth hardening into a line that raises the hairs on the back of Jungkook’s neck.  He’s glaring at him (or something close to it).  

Seriously - who is this fucker?

“Can I help you?”  Hoseok speaks far more reasonably, at an octave that doesn’t shatter the peace of the residential neighbourhood.  He’s still caught on the steps, fist tight around the strap of his bag as he studies the man - no, boy - that jogs up to meet him, two rungs the only thing separating the two of them.

“Do you know Vira?”

A part of Hoseok flinches at Jungkook’s casual use of your name - like he knows you or deserves to address you like an old friend.  This kid really was clueless.

When he speaks, he’s perfectly composed, tension held tight behind his teeth.  “I said, can I help you?”

Jungkook bristles at the response, some snarky comment threatening to knock the other off his apparent high horse.  He barely catches it, grinding it down into a fine powder beneath his molars.  He has to tread lightly here. 

“I’m a friend of hers.”  Not a lie, per se.  You two were friends;  after all, you’d come when he’d called.  That meant something, right?  Had to. 

“A friend?”  Disbelief slips into place, evident in the tone of Hoseok’s voice, how his brows shift beneath his chestnut fringe.  He knows better than to believe Jungkook - has heard all the heartbreaking stories - but he can’t quite keep the worry from worming it’s way into his thoughts.  They settle uncomfortably, just beneath the surface. “Is she expecting you?”

Everything about Hoseok makes Jungkook hate him.  From the sneakers he wears to the watch on his wrist - understated, all gold, more expensive than a nerd like him should have - there’s something undoubtedly punchable about him.

It certainly has nothing to do with the fact that he’s seemingly close with you.  Definitely not.

“I was going to surprise her.”  The flowers are held aloft, gesticulated in the best manner Jungkook can manage with his arms so full.  “I didn’t know she was expecting you.”  It’s a cheap tactic - recycling words - but he can’t think of much else beyond fitting his foot into this guy’s mouth.

“She’s not.”  Sharp, sparse, with no hint of indulgence.  Hoseok’s not about to get into a verbal sparring match with Jungkook.  It’s not worth his time.  

He is, however, going to put him in his place - and easily at that.

“She’s still at work.”  Slim bundle of keys rise - two unassuming and one for an Audi.  Perhaps unnecessary but Hoseok takes great pleasure in the other’s expression.

Tch is Jungkook’s first thought before the second smacks him straight in the face.  He has a key to your place?  The fact rubs him all the wrong ways despite the fact that he has no right to be bothered;  it isn’t his home any more - hasn’t been in years.  It still hurts, though, right behind his ribs and all the way down to the tips of his fingers.

Is this how you felt all those times?  

Something like nausea builds in Jungkook’s stomach, throwing acid up the walls of his throat.  It burns and strings, licking painfully all the way into his mouth.  His teeth ache - buzz uncomfortably - and his tongue feels suddenly far too heavy.  He wonders if he might choke on it.

Then, slowly, in a voice he doesn’t recognise.  Too soft, years younger, uncertain.  “Can you give these to her?”  He hates it.

He hates even more the way Hosoek looks at him, with such pity Jungkook wants to curl it around his fist and break the older man’s teeth with it.  It’s something he’s seen a handful of times - from you, from your brother, from his worried mother when she thinks he doesn’t notice.  It never gets easier. 

It forces him into a position he hasn’t been in in years:  weak.

“I don’t think so.”  By how calmly Hoseok speaks, it’s almost as if he’s commenting on the weather or passing along a banal bit of information.  It’s far too nonchalant to be breaking Jungkook’s heart, splitting it cleanly in two.

“Why not?”  Jungkook’s petulant, a child denied his favourite toy, forced into time-out.  

That’s not for you screams Hoseok’s expression.  She’s not for you.  “I’m not comfortable with doing so.”  

The sinking feeling hasn’t stopped for Jungkook.  It goes and goes until he wishes he were six feet under, buried under ground as low as he feels.  He should leave.  He knows he should leave - if only to stop the discomfort that’s gripping every nerve, twisting them like an elbow about to snap.  

“Anyway.”  There’s boredom working its way into Hoseok’s stare, relaxing the shape of his mouth until it falls wide around a short, terse sigh.  “If you’re friends, you can get in touch and drop them off later.”  

He’s done playing gatekeeper - can feel his frustration bubbling to the surface in a way he’s not about to entertain.  He nods once, dismissive, before turning away from the so-called rockstar that seems terribly small and the farthest thing from it.

“Goodbye.”  Then he’s disappearing into your home, leaving Jungkook on the steps with his tail between his legs.

You return home three hours later - blissfully unaware of what’s transpired.  

You set your dinner on the kitchen island, deftly unpacking takeout boxes as Hoseok hurries to your side to help.  You don’t mind when he bumps into you, knocking his hip against yours with a heart-shaped smile.

It burns a little brighter than usual.  “Good day?”  

He hums in response, sneaking a yellow tomato from the salad box he’s just popped open.  “Something like that.” 

“Something like that?”  You can’t help but echo him, a pretty parrot with shining eyes and a silk bow in your hair.  “Don’t play coy, Jung Hoseok.”  A digit closes the minimal distance between you, finding purchase against his side - right where he’s most ticklish.

He shrieks, nearly upending the fries he’s tried to dump onto a ceramic plate.

“Hey!”  Hands swat, then fold, catching your fingers between his in an awkward hand-hold.  “Keep your hands to yourself, Vi.” 

“You don’t complain normally,”  you retort.  You’re not wrong.  Skinship with you is one of his favourite things, fourth only to his dog, dancing, and a certain green-labelled soda.

“Well, today’s a special day.”  

Hoseok really doesn’t know where he’s going with his words - only hoping that he’ll find their destination somewhere along the way.  He doesn’t want to tell you too soon, all too aware of how the mention of your ex will bring this perfect moment crumbling down.  He wants to hold it, perhaps a little too tightly, for as long as he can.  He thinks he’s doing you a service, giving you these few extra minutes.

“Oh yeah?”  You’re twinkling eyes and pealing laughter, so far removed from the bag of bones and sadness of only days prior.  It’s hard to believe there’s something broken inside of there - tucked right behind your breastplate and out of sight.

“Yeah.”  

You wait for him to continue, opting instead to fill the silence with mouth noises.  He’ll tell you when he’s ready.  He always does.  

“Jungkook came by.”  It comes halfway through a bite of a french fry, the carb nearly bringing you to an early death when you choke on it.  All at once, everything spins, as if just the name is enough to upend your entire world.  Hoseok’s clapping your back, rubbing soothing circles over the cotton of your shirt, and you’re struggling to find words or breath - heaving around the sudden heaviness.

“What?”  So small, it’s hardly a word.

“He was here when I got here.”  You’re not oblivious to the careful way he speaks, choosing his words with utmost care.  You don’t miss his grip either, gentle and unyielding at your side - as if he might steady you beneath the sudden tidal wave of emotion.  

You do well, keeping your voice level once you’ve found it again.  “And?  What did he want?”

Hoseok does you the great service of pretending as if he doesn’t hear the hope in your voice.  You’re grateful for that. 

“He came with flowers.”  Not quite a laugh comes - more unimpressed and derisive than amused.  “Two bouquets, actually.”  You can feel him studying you from your periphery, his careful stare trained on your face and the dozen emotions that run rampant through it.  “Your favourite flowers too.”

Your laugh matches his own, though far heavier, as if the sound won’t form without immense effort.  “Wow.”

“Yeah.”  It’s a word you’ve heard a lot tonight.  It feels right.  One syllable to encompass every feeling you can’t properly articulate.  “He asked me to give them to you.”  

It should surprise you but it doesn’t.  Jungkook’s never been one to ask - instead taking what he wants - but it’s still funny.  Of course he’d ask that of Hoseok, as if the act itself weren’t terribly strange, the flowers an unwelcome, begging apology.  Jeon Jungkook only did what he wanted - etiquette be damned.

“I don’t see them anywhere.”  

“I told him I wasn’t comfortable doing it.”  There’s a touch of pride, glimmering gold painted over consonants and vowels.  It’s understated in the way that Hoseok always is - not how he looks, but is;  you’re drawn to it nonetheless, squeezing your fingers around his own in a silent thank you.

“I hope it wasn’t weird.”  It must have been.  It’s still the thought that counts.

Hoseok hams it up, scoffing like it’s just been another day.  “Weird?  Of course not.  I have to deal with my friend’s horrible exes all the time.  I’m practically Scott Pilgrim.”  

“Does that make me Ramona Flowers?”  

“No - but you’re my flower.”  He says it in jest, only to make you smile, because he knows you need it right now.

You try not to think of how you prefer Pumpkin, instead.

tag list.  @jalexad @aa-ronpa @kookiesbreaky @celestialflamefairy @xjoonchildx @pars-ley @seokjinssi @youwannabelostandnotbefound @patpus @dazedjjk @koozui @jinhitwhore @always-wishing-for-rain @neverthefirstchoice @snackhobi 

i like me better (when i’m with you) / 1.2 ✎

the fluffy strangers to lovers college!au in which your friends are tired of you complaining about being single and find your perfect match in the one and only campus dj, jaehyun jung.

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You sighed as you slid into the car. Always the observant one, Johnny shot you a worried glance as he started the engine.

“What’s with the heavy sighing?” he asked, shifting the car into drive.

“I just...I don’t know?” The confused lilt in your voice stopped your best friend from interrupting you. You clearly had something to let out and he was going to give you the space to do so. That’s how it always was during these deep car talks. You would talk and Johnny, being the great older brother figure he was, would listen. 

“I’m definitely happier than before. I’m satisfied with where I’m at. A lot healthier, in a major that I actually enjoy compared to last year. I’ve worked on myself for the past year and I like who I am now. I have a great group of friends—”

This time, Johnny couldn’t help but say something to lighten the mood. He smirked and said, “Yeah, I am pretty great, aren’t I?” 

You playfully shoved him in reply. 

“I’m sensing a ‘but’ in that sentence, though.” And just like that, the driver pulled you back into the serious conversation you were having.

“Yeah.” You ran your fingers through your hair while trying to gather your thoughts. Glancing at you, Johnny caught you nibbling your lip and playing with the ends of your hair. You always did that when you were deep in thought or something was bothering you in some way. He guessed this was deeper than your group of friends thought it was. And that bothered him.

As a true friend of yours, Johnny wanted you to be comfortable with them. To be happy in their company. But lately, the happiness he noticed was fading. There was something preoccupying your head. He needed to get to the bottom of it so he could help you in any way that he could. 

The oldest of the group always doted on you and you two knew it to be true. There was no denying it. However, there was never a hint of romance behind that doting. It was similar to and older sibling choosing his favorite younger sibling and putting extra care to make sure they turned out alright. 

Johnny Suh, the caring man everyone always knew him to be, just wanted you to be okay. 

“I don’t know. Seeing Mina and Mark sometimes makes me miss having a partner. It’s weird, like, really weird. At times, I wish I had someone to share this happiness with. It gets me in a mood and I know how to pull myself out of it.”

Dating, you mean. You know it. You’re sure Johnny knew it too by the way he hummed in response. But that’s all he did. Hum with no other words to say. Johnny’s silence allowed you to continue on. 

“But I’m scared of putting myself out there. Sehun...I know he was your friend but he hurt me pretty badly. I don’t think I could trust anyone with my heart again.”

You fiddled with your fingers anxiously—the topic of your past relationship was something you hated talking about.  If you could even call it that to begin with. Maybe situationship was a better word for it.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to put myself out there again. I’ve tried once or twice and it always ended up with me backing out because I got into my own head.”

Your friend called your name and you shook your head, trying to stop the pity from slipping out of his mouth. You didn’t want it. You didn’t need it, either. “Munchkin,” your friend tried again with that nickname of his that made you break down your walls. 

You let out a bitter chuckle in return. “Am I just going to be someone’s plaything for the rest of my life? Because that’s what happened with the past two guys? Or are my standards just too high that I can’t meet a person to match them?”

“Munch, you need to stop doing that,” Johnny warned you, his voice growing sharper with each word. The upset dad voice was starting to surface. That’s how you knew he really cared, when that tone of voice would appear. “You know that’s not true.” 

Sending him a hint of a smile, you were glad you had someone like Johnny as a close friend. He may be a goofball at times but the man always knew what to say when you needed it the most.

“Look, the guys you met in the past? They were trash, including Sehun. But that shouldn’t stop you from putting yourself out there! And who knows, maybe you’ll find someone when you least expect it,” he reassured you, a warm grin gracing his full lips. 

Eyes still training on your friend, you wondered why you couldn’t fall for a guy like him or Mark. Why did you waste your time with assholes?

Johnny turned into the parking lot of the shopping center, startling you out of your thoughts. You were so invested so into voicing what was shaking you up, you hadn’t realized that you were reaching the bakery.

Getting out of the vehicle, you both grabbed your cell phones and wallets. Johnny came around to shut the door for you, a little thing he always did that made you smile. Gathering you in his arms, your best friend gave you a comforting hug. “Hey, Munch?”

“Hmm?” you hummed, inwardly groaning at the long line of customers waiting to get their treats as you entered the bakery.

“What would you consider boyfriend material anyway?” Johnny questioned. You gave him a weird look to which he shrugged in return. “Just curious. I mean you already know my type.”

“Ummmm,” you had to take a moment to actually think about it. Johnny smiled at you patiently, waiting for your answer, “A guy who’s incredibly sweet and has no problem making me laugh. Caring. Has the same interests as me? Music, movies, whatever; so we have something to talk about, you know? Or at least, understands and listens when I talk about something I’m passionate about—”

You started to run off at the mouth as the line moves up. Again, Johnny did nothing but listen. As you listed the traits you looked for, he was mentally making a list of them and filing through his friends to see if anyone fit the bill.

“—Speaking of passion! They have to be passionate about their goals! And respectful of boundaries. Patient. And I don’t know—someone who’ll do cheesy things with me like dance around in the kitchen?”

Noticing that you were starting to drift into a rant, you stopped yourself with a sheepish smile. Almost embarrassed that you were going on without end, you began to fiddle with your fingers again. “I’m rambling, aren’t I?” 

“You’re fine, Munchkin! And those really aren’t high standards at all. A bit cheesy though, but it fits you. I can see you dating someone like that,” he reassured you, ruffling your hair. You squeaked at the sudden action and failed to slap Johnny’s large hands away from your head. A grumble left your lips as you used the glass windows as a mirror t fix your appearance. 

Completely fits someone I know, Johnny thought to himself.

You both stepped forward in line. Squinting at the menu plastered on the wall, you skimmed through it and jokingly asked, “You’re just saying that cuz you’re practically my brother. Know anyone that fits my ideal type though?”

“Maybe, why? Want me to set you up?” your tall friend teased. “I might have a couple of friends who fit the type.”

“Oh yeah, totally interested if you could actually find someone. Highly doubt it though,” you shot back, sarcasm dripping from your words.

“Eh, I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” Johnny said with a knowing grin. Shooting him a confused look, the boy just shrugged his shoulders, revealing nothing else. 

Then, there was this sudden need to relieve yourself. Glancing at how many people were in front of you, there was still a bit of time before your party reached the front. “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna the restroom real quick. You already know what I want, right? Just in case?”

Johnny nodded, waving you in the direction of the bathroom. As soon as you were out of sight, your friend pulled out his phone to a string of texts from Sejeong, Mina, and Mark in a new group chat that for some reason, didn’t include you. He skimmed through it and chuckled—what amazing timing.

© sehunniepot / sehunniepotwrites, 2020-2021

  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ( ALEX FITZALAN, CISMALE, HE/HIM, SCORPIO, 24 ) I just spotted SAWYER HUNT at the beach today. Don’t you know them? They live down by THE ROCKS and usually hang out with THE OUTCASTS & THE ATHLETES  cliques. From what I’ve heard, they can be INSOLENT, but they’re also LOYAL. I always think of them when i hear SOME KIND OF DISASTER - ALL TIME LOW and tend to associate them with BRUISED KNUCKLES, WORDS ON THE TIP OF A STUBBORN TONGUE, AND BROKEN CHAMPAGNE BOTTLES. ( daniela. she/her. 23. pst. )

      *adele voice* hello, it’s me.  this is your friendly neighborhood dani coming at you.  i’m so excited to be here !   i can’t wait to write with all of you. this is sawyer he’s  what i like to call ‘a natural disaster’  so pls be kind to him he’s trying his best. if you’d like to plot with yours truly give this post a like or message me on discord @ 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘪 𝘱𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘰𝘮  👻#3685 xoxo gossip girl. 

tw: drug addiction, abuse, &  mental illness mention. 

B A S I C S !!!

name:  sawyer christopher hunt

gender: cismale

age: 24

dob: october, 27th 1997

zodiac: scorpio

hometown:  sandpoint, Idaho.

sexual orientation: bisexual

drinking/smoking/drugs: yes/yes/no.

B A C K S T O R Y !!!

life has never been kind to him, ever since he was born on that cold autumn night in the middle of nowhere idaho. it's a story you've probably heard a million times before, with a junkie dad and a crackpot mom he was destined to be nothing special. the responsibility to look after his four siblings landed on his shoulder when he was just a kid. begging and stealing were the only ways to put food on the table since his parents used all the welfare money to feed their addiction. grown-ups referred to him as a bad apple, someone so rotten they had to keep their kids away so they wouldn't be poisoned. friends were scarce but when loneliness is all you've ever known it can be hard to care.

he spent his teenage years in and out of juvie, sometimes for good reasons and others because that's where everyone thought he belonged.  over the years things at home got worse, his father was never around and when he was, he made sure to color his ivory skin red and purple. his mother's mental health only deteriorated over the years, she often put herself and everyone around her in danger. the doctors called early-onset dementia and without money or resources, it was now his responsibility to look after her as well. he used to wish she was more like his father, he was an abusive asshole by nature, it was easy to hate him. but, her? not so much.  

when he turned 18 he decided that enough was enough.  he didn't want to live in that small town where everyone thought the worst of him.  he was tired of the beatings, of the responsibilities, and all the pain he'd endure throughout his life.  he applied to all the colleges he could think of and begged a god he didn't believe for a chance to get the hell away from this place. the universe finally took pity on him and gave him the lifeline he'd been looking for, an acceptance letter to a school in san diego.  his sister was just shy of seventeen, years older than he had been when he became the head of the household, she would be fine taking on his role.  without a second thought, he packed his bags that summer and bought a one-way train ticket to california.

P E R S O N A  L I T Y !!!

the type of dude that would punch you in the face if you look at him the wrong way. but also the type to fight everyone to protect you.

can come off as a dick at first but once you get to know him you realize he has a kind heart.

he thinks he has to prove himself to everyone, he may deny it but he craves validation from his peers.

as a teen one of the things that saved his life was soccer, he was the best on the team and not at all shy about it. in fact his performance was the main reason he got into college. in that way he’s a typical jock.

don’t ever bring up his family he’ll beat you up.

bisexual af bc i will never play a hetero.

he desperately wants to believe in love but doesn’t know what a healthy relationship is. 

kind of a whore tbh

he’s a lot smarter than he looks. 

likes pineapple on pizza. 

W A N T E D    C O N N E C T I O N S !!!

first love

ex

secret affair

best friend

bros who get touchy when they get drunk

enemies

frenemies

karaoke partner

a friend he watches true-crime docs with

they dance on tables like its coyote ugly

literally anything im so needy pls

 P I N T E R E S T !!!

Movement

The skeleton of this fic is Movement by Hozier so here’s the link

Words: 1871         Ao3 Link

Peter wasn’t sure why he did this. Perhaps he was more masochistic than he thought, since he continued to find himself at Jungle drunk and enraptured by Stiles. The boy was edgy most of the time, movements jerky and rigid, but somehow he came alive with a little bit of booze and the anonymity that comes with dancing in a big crowd. His movements became slow and flowing from one to the next instead of the anxiety and fear filled motions he usually made. Peter was enchanted by the peace he found there. Both the peace within Stiles dancing and within himself watching Stiles be unburdened. He had never thought he’d feel the sort of happiness that comes from others happiness again. Derek no longer radiated pleased contentment, and Cora no longer grinned so fiercely her cheek ached. The Hale’s were broken and damaged, and Peter blamed himself for their hardships. He chased any momentary peace he could get safely, which is how he found himself going out with the pack one weekend after their weekly pack meeting. He discovered the beauty of Stiles’ body in a way he’d never noticed before. Stiles was alive in a way Peter never remembered being. Even standing still, the boy was constantly buzzing with activity. It was in his darting eyes, twitching nose, and bitten lips. Everything about Stiles was filled with more life, energy, and even more love than Peter thought he would ever have the capacity to have himself. Peter had been attracted to the man for some time, but it was that night that Peter thought that maybe he loved Stiles. 

I still watch you when you're groovin'

As if through water from the bottom of a pool

You're movin' without movin'

And when you move, I'm moved

“Let go of him!” Stiles’ scream of fury and rage echoed in the clearing, forcing its way passed the sounds of battle all around him, as he charged the giant holding Isaac by the ankle. 

The giant stopped swinging Isaac around as if he was a fly swatter and his pack flies at the sound of that rage. Peter was moving before he even registered that Stiles had moved passed him, his body automatically racing to catch up and protect the human. 

“Interesting. You’re only human.” The giant laughed after a sniff. 

“And you’re an asshole!” Stiles shouted in response, but his eyes weren’t on the giant, they were on Peter. 

Peter would give him hell about this later, he always did, but right now he knew exactly what Stiles wanted and he was helpless to deny him. He planted his feet and readied himself just in time for Stile turn and approach him at a dead run. His foot landed squarely in Peter’s waiting palms and Peter threw his fragile human with every ounce of strength he had. Stiles shot him a smile before twisting in the air, his body long, lean, and beautiful in the light of the moon, and flying directly at the face of the giant. As he rushed quickly towards certain death he smoothly slid his bat in the strap on his back and pulled his gun from its holster. Three shots later and the giant fell, with Stiles holding on by its hair as they both crashed to the ground. 

Later when they were safe and healing Peter pulled Stiles aside and looked him over further, the human always tried to hide his wounds from the pack. This time he was laughing at the ‘wolf’s protectiveness. 

“If you really hate when we do that then tell me ‘no’ next time.” Were his parting words as he ran his hand down Peter’s arm and smiled at him. 

Peter was never a religious man, but in that smile he found divinity and a warmth he’d never felt before. He would never tell Stiles ‘No’. 

You are a call to motion

There, all of you a verb in perfect view

Like Jonah on the ocean

When you move, I'm moved

“You guys!” Stiles’ whine brought Peter’s attention away from the discussion he had been having with his nephew. 

Stiles was trying to make dinner and the pups were buzzing around him, eating anything they could snatch while he was distracted. It reminded Peter so achingly strong of his little sister. 

Cherri had been a light in Peter’s life since the moment she was born. He had once heard that little siblings were born to be the person their older sibling needed, and he believed that sometimes when he watched his life. Peter did anything and everything for Talia, but it was Cherri would would seek him out to spend time with not Talia. Soon he realized that the reality is that younger siblings just want to be around their older siblings as much as possible. 

He supposed this was true with the pups and Stiles too. Stiles, though younger than most of them, was the first one of the bitten ‘wolves and other supernaturals to know about their world. He was the one that taught Scott control, and he still taught most of them something new every day. In many ways Stiles was the first beta, and it seemed the others viewed him as an older brother they could push around because he loved them too much to punish them. 

It reminded him so much of the boy he once was, who yearned to be a man. A man who others needed, who others loved, who others wanted. Stiles was a testament to what Peter could’ve become, what he still can become. 

Peter watched on with a twist of nostalgia, regret, and hope in his stomach as Stiles interacted with the pack. A long fingered hand gently pushing a beta away even as he cursed them, a smile pulling at his lips as he hip checked another beta into the refrigerator, an eyebrow raised at the beta watching him from across the room. 

When you move

I'm put to mind of all that I wanna be

When you move

I could never define all that you are to me

So move me, baby

Shake like the bough of a willow tree

You do it naturally

Move me, baby

It should be a sin the way Stiles captivated Peter every moment of every day. Peter felt like he was observing a long forgotten god not meant to be seen by the likes of him. He wasn’t worthy. Sitles was light and love and Peter was so full of darkness and hatred, he would only taint him. 

“You’re gloomy today.” Peter blinked, his head slowly rising from the feet of the man walking in front of him to his face. 

“What makes you say that?” 

Stiles shrugged, his thumb coming up to his lips so he could chew his nail, “Normally you’re more talkative. We’ve barely spoken in the half hour we’ve been on patrol.” 

“I will taint you.” Peter breathed out in a moment of vulnerability he’d never admit to later. 

His eyes snapped back up to Stiles’ face as the human laughed, his head thrown back and his shoulders shaking. Even when he’s laughing at Peter he is beautiful. Stiles was created to be in motion, he radiated an erratic aura that usually unsettled people, but Peter was drawn to every twitch and fidget. He was drawn to everything about Stiles and now that he’d shown some of his feelings Stiles could only laugh at him. 

“I am a serial killer and an insane one if you remember correctly, Little Red. I could gobble you up right here and no one would know.” Peter threatened with a leer, the only way he saw out of this embarrassment was to turn the tables.

Stiles blushed and stopped laughing after that. 

“You haven’t been insane in a long time, Peter, and frankly I would’ve killed them too.” Stiles shrugged again before turning back to the path they were on. 

“So don’t be so gloomy and get up here. I’m lonely.” Was all Stiles had to say to summon Peter to his side.

They chatted about various things like movies and songs, until Stiles tripped on an exposed root. Peter caught his arm and had him back on his feet before anything dire could happen, but it still pulled a chuckle out of him. 

“You go dancing every weekend, you glide through the air to kill monsters, and you maneuver through the pack with a tray full of hot food, but you can’t watch where you step.” The words seemed like a criticizement, but the crow’s feet that crinkled at the corners of Peter’s eyes as he laughed showed something softer underneath them. 

“Oh hush. I normally pay attention to everything, but with you here I know it’s okay to lower my guard. The root snuck up on me is all.” Stiles huffed indignantly. 

With Peter there Stiles could lower his guard. What a wondrous piece of information. Peter had always known Stiles carried too much by himself when it came to both the pack and his father. He always tried to fix everything by himself. He hid his wounds, and cared for everyone else. Stiles never lowered his guard. 

Except apparently with Peter.

You are the rite of movement

Its reasonin' made lucid and cool

I know it's no improvement

When you move, I move

You're less Polunin leapin'

Or Fred Astaire in sequins

Honey, you, you're Atlas in his sleepin'

And when you move, I'm moved

Peter wasn’t sure how he got here. There were hands on his chest, long elegant fingers pushing against him. His hips swayed to the music and the rest of his body followed suit, all of him focused on worshipping the lithe body in front of him. Stiles had dragged him out to the dance floor and Peter was drunk on the feeling of Stiles moving against him alone. 

They danced until Stiles was panting and covered in sweat. Peter thought once again of the boy he’d been, the life he’d had. 

“My mother would’ve loved you.” Peter whispered the words like a prayer. 

Stiles heard that prayer, ever proving to Peter worthy of his worship and devotion, and smiled at him so sweetly he thought he might cry. 

“Mamo would’ve said you were divine.” Stiles gifted him with those words. 

The next song was an old punk pop hit that had Stiles flashing a grin so bright Peter felt something in him snap back into place. 

Once again Peter found himself observing the destructive, all consuming power of Stiles dancing. It was erratic and uncontrolled, often leaving him apologizing to nearby dancers, but Peter and never seen something so enchanting. 

That night they crashed together in a collision of limbs and teeth. Hands roaming skin and tongues darting out to taste what their hands felt. Eyes burning into the night as they created a crescendo of movement and devotion between them.

When you move

I can recall somethin' that's gone from me

When you move

Honey, I'm put in awe of somethin' so flawed and free

So move me, baby

Shake like the bough of a willow tree

You do it naturally

Move me, baby

The Paladins When You Have a Protective Older Brother {Headcanon}{Request}

   Request: Hi! Could you write this in a hc? What would the paladins think of a s/o that is a time travelever. The s/o and her younger brother (she is not alone) have travel through many dimensions and they recently arrived to the world of voltron. They stay for quite a while and the paladin falls for the s/o. But the s/o brother is really protective of his sister and sort of suspicious of the paladin. He might know that the paladin has feelings for the s/o. But after a time the s/o and her brother got to leave (to travel to the next dimension). Do the paladin confess? Where? How do the paladin handle her brother? And what do each paladin like about the s/o? A certain trait that the s/o has??

    Shiro:

   like always, Shiro would be so, so confused about his feelings.

   he's never one to deny himself love. at least, he doesn't think so. he's always thought of himself to be this open-minded fellow with hopes and dreams and a chance at love and all that, but when it actually comes to him falling in love, especially with somebody from a different dimension, he's a bit unsure if that's really who he is.

   because he spends quite a while just trying to deny himself feelings.

   if it were anybody else, he maybe would have opened up a bit more and let himself feel these things, but he knows you won't be staying for very long, and the idea of you leaving him after he's admitted he's in love with you is a bit too much even for Shiro to handle.

   as for your brother, Shiro assures him time and time again that he feels nothing for you (even though that is a complete lie).

   of course, your brother doesn't believe it. Shiro doesn't hide his feelings too well.

   whenever it gets to the time you have to leave, Shiro gets overwhelmed. like, genuinely overwhelmed. he feels like there's something swelling in his chest, and then he can barely stop his hands from tapping against every surface he can find, him simply needing some way to release his nervous energy.

   I don't think he'd confess to be honest. he'd see your brother and be a bit intimidated, and not to mention you're leaving. he sees no point in confessing, though I can imagine him regretting it afterwards.

    Keith:

   he would immediately try to shut down his feelings.

   okay, don't get me wrong. he at least admits to himself that he is getting feelings for you. that doesn't mean he likes them.

   he feels so stupid for feeling the way he does, but you're just so characteristic, and cheerful and positive and he can't help himself.

    he would try and separate himself from you as much as possible, possibly even becoming a little bit hostile, but it would fall flat eventually.

   eventually, our little Keith mochi wouldn't really be able to hide the fact that he's falling for you.

   people would start finding out about his feelings – including your brother.

   your brother would walk up to Keith and demand to know just what these rumours are and what they mean, and Keith would kind of just be like are we not all adults here?

   like Keith just would not put up with bullshit like that. you're an adult. he's an adult. as far as Keith's concerned, your brothers opinion is just his protective side that he'll have to get over eventually.

   this obviously causes tension between Keith and your brother, so whenever the news breaks out that you and your brother are leaving, Keith immediately thinks it's because of the way he treated your brother.

   he would want to patch things up immediately. he'd rush to your room, knock on the door and whenever you open it, he'd push you into the room and start going on and on about how you don't have to leave and how he's sorry he ever said anything mean to your brother.

   and you'd feel your heart swell because oh my god he cares that much, but you're also confused since you're only leaving because you have to keep up the job you had been given.

   you would calm him down and tell him you're not leaving because of him, and Keith would get all shy and confused.

   you'd inform him the real reason you're leaving, telling him that you'll definitely be back to visit as soon as you can. this would make Keith's heartbeat pick up tremendously, and before he even knows what he's doing, he'd have pressed his lips to yours.

   he would pull away and awkwardly tell you how excited he was for the day you return.

   Lance:

   he wouldn't really understand what was going on at first.

   whenever he first saw you, he did his usual thing that he does to all girls who he finds attractive: shamelessly flirted with you and failed.

   your brother was quick to shut him down, and he thought that would be the end of it. his feelings have never really gone beyond that point before.

   but they did this time, and he doesn't know what to do.

   he can't stop thinking about you, which is odd for him. like, he genuinely gets butterflies whenever you walk past him, and he gets happy when you're smiling and he just doesn't get it.

   but that doesn't mean he's avoiding it. it just takes him a little longer for him to understand his feelings, but as soon as he does, he doesn't hesitate to tell you.

    he tells you, and you tell him you like him back, and you both think that this is the start of something amazing and beautiful and long lasting.

    but there's two little issues – your brother, and the fact that you can't stay in the Voltron universe for too long.

   you tell Lance this immediately, and that's really what Lance likes about you. you're honesty. you're straight forwardness and the way you immediately try to come up with a solution that will benefit the both of you.

   despite him admiring this about you, he suddenly realises that you won't be around for very long, and he still has to get your brothers approval, and he feels panicked and overwhelmed.

   he plays it off with his usual smile and goes to talk to your brother.

   your brother immediately tells Lance that you can't date. you're too busy, Lance is too immature, you don't need the distractions blah blah blah.

   but Lance deadass fights till the god damn end. he likes you – loves you – and he really isn't ready to let you go so easily.

    it gets to the point where your brothers head is so jumbled with what Lance is saying that he genuinely just has to agree, and Lance is jumping for joy and cheering and giving him a massive hug, promising him that he won't let him down.

    he goes back to you, and you two kind of sort out a deal. you're leaving soon, but Lance isn't ready to break anything off with you just because of that.

   “we can do long distance.”

   “there's long distance, and then there's being an entire dimension away.”   “i know. I know that. but we'll make it work.”

   Hunk:

   he'd get so flustered by his own feelings and it would be the cutest thing in the world.

   he knows he likes you. he's known he's liked you from the moment you stepped into the damn ship, and his feelings have just grown stronger and stronger the more he's gotten to know you.

   he likes the atmosphere you bring, I guess. where your brother is all strict and business-like, you bring the mood up a little bit with your jokes and the way you'll sometimes poke fun at your sibling when he's being a little too over business-man.

   he basically likes the fact that you don't take things too seriously. you're just here for a laugh.

   I feel like he would try and confess multiple times, but every time he would fail. Pidge would be his hype man, telling him to get it done but he would end up freaking out and backing out.

   that is until he hears that you're leaving. then all of a sudden his feelings become real and he has this time limit that stresses him out.

   so he spends ages planning out his moves and what he's going to say to you and how he's going to do it, because he knows he just has to. he doesn't expect you to stay because of how he feels, but he hopes it'll do something. at least give him some closure on how you feel about him.

   so he plans it all out and he gets prepared to do it and he's all confident -

   but then your brother happens.

   he sees Hunk pacing outside your room with the piece of paper in his hand – the piece of paper that had his speech on it – and he immediately walks up to him, asking him what he's doing.

   he's basically being a real asshole. he calls Hunk a creep for standing outside of a girls bedroom, and he says he's wasting his time with trying to confess to you.

   naturally, this flusters Hunk and he ends up leaving – another failed attempt.

   he'd be so mad at himself for giving up again. he doesn't understand how he can fly through space and fight off aliens, but he can't even stand up to some dimension-jumping guy he met a few months ago.

   Hunk thinks that's it. he thinks he's lost his final chance, that there's nothing more he can do-

   but then he hears you yelling outside in the hallway, asking your brother what the hell he thinks he's doing. you're yelling about how you're an adult who can choose who you wants to love and that he has no say in your love life nor no need to be involved in it.

   and then suddenly you're knocking on his bedroom door and he's opening it cautiously and then you're standing there in front of him, looking overwhelmed and flustered as you hold the piece of paper your brother had snatched off of Hunk.

   Hunk sees it and starts to apologise (our poor boy).

   but you cut him off by throwing your arms around his neck and dragging him into a kiss, telling him all he needs to know about how you feel.

    Pidge:

   deadass she's just trying to have a good time and you have to come in here and be all perfect and stuff and it's like no. stay in your own lane.

   those are her thoughts. she spent so long fighting off romantic feelings for people, and then you come in and make that task seem utterly impossible.

   she's kind of mad about it for a little while lmao???

   and then there's your brother, who is just being a right pain in the arse, so she barely even tries to confess her feelings.

   but she knows they're there. unlike Shiro, she actually accepts the fact that she's falling for someone – she just doesn't follow through with those feelings. she doesn't feel like she should since you're leaving soon, and your brother clearly doesn't want you dating.

   but as time goes on and your leaving date draws nearer, Pidge begins to ask herself what she is doing – why is she ignoring her feelings? Why should she let some guy dictate how she feels? it's her life, her feelings, her choice. nobody else needs to be involved in them, and if they're bothered by how she feels then they're not worth her time.

   so she goes for it. and it's so random. like, you're just sitting eating dinner one day and she suddenly sits down in front of you and starts rambling on and on about how she likes you and how she's always liked you and how she likes that dimple on your chin, or the way you crinkle your nose when you're confused and trying to work something out, and she just likes you.

   and you just have to stare at her for a moment, trying to decipher what the hell she just said since it all came out in one big gasp of information.

    eventually you realise what she is saying, and you tell her you like her back.

   she simply nods, a blush forming on her cheeks and this grin appearing that she's trying to hide.

   “well, i'm glad that's cleared up.”

I LOVE your batdictionary series on AOOO. I has promt for you! I would like to see Damian cuddle Jason! They have an odd understanding but I want to see Jason be the only one that can hold Damian after a fight with Dick.

Thank you! ♥ And you hit me in my weak spot, honestly. Especially because I think after Dick, Jason makes the most interesting sibling relationship with Damian. Anyway, here we go, I hope it was what you were looking for!

Read on AO3 if you prefer

Jason likes to think he moved on, that he’s, if not a better person, at least a different one. Less angry, less crazy, more in control of his emotions. It takes nights like this one to truly realize that he actually is better, because it’s on nights like this one that he remembers how it used to feel like. The fire in the stomach and the taste of blood on the lips, trembling hands and gritted teeth, every muscle of his body tensed in anger and itching for a violent release, the need to hurt surpassed only by the need of being hurt.

He hates it.

He hates that one fight with Bruce can still reduce him like this, break him and cut him as if he were still a child caught doing something wrong while knowing that it could cost him everything.

“But the little I have now he couldn’t take it away even if he wanted”, he says to the gargoyle next to him. “So joke’s on him, you know?”

If the gargoyle knows, he doesn’t tell, not to him and not to anyone else. Secrets between friends are important to him, Jason’s learned. It’s one of the reasons he likes this place so much. There are years worth of whispered secrets impressed into the ancient stones, scorch marks of old cigarettes and deep scratches from a lot of different knives, dark shadows that were once either bloodstains or spilled coke. And everything is covered in pigeon shit. It’s sad and hilarious at the same time.

He leans back against the statue, hands crossed behind his head, feet resting against the railing, comfortable enough to close his eyes, uncomfortable enough to not fall asleep and towards a very ridiculous death.

And Gotham’s nights are never silent, or even quiet, but the noise of the streets it’s familiar, if not even welcomed to his ears, like a childhood lullaby. It happens every time he comes back, yet he’s still surprised at how it feels weird to call this city his home and at how it’s even weirder not to call it so. It’s one of those things he’ll probably never understand.

Like he doesn’t understand what tips him off a hour or so later, when he opens his eyes to find himself almost face to face with his littlest brother dangling upside down from one of the gargoyle’s horns, cape fluttering around his head in the night’s breeze and a little smirk on his face.

Jason blinks one, two, three times, and a few heartbeats go by before he reacts.

“You know you’re not a real bat, right? Despite the fact you do look like one”, he says, because if he starts yelling at him then Damian will know that he actually succeeded in startling him, and Jason’s not going to give him that satisfaction on his life.

Beside, he’s kinda impressed by how the kid managed to sneak on him like that.

Damian tries to look down on him but being on the wrong side of the up and down thing, he only manage to glower at him, and it’s not even as threatening as it usually is.

“Father is angry with you”, the kid says, still scowling.

“Get down from there”, Jason retorts. “And tell me what else is new under the sun.”

“It’s night”, Damian points out, because he likes to be irritating like that. “And because of you he’s now crossed with me too.”

“Well, shit”, Jason answers. “Now get down from there.”

Damian glances at him for a bit more, just to spite him, then he does this weird and almost painful to look backflip thing that has Nightwing’s trademark all over it. Jason watches the kid as he spins in the air for a moment, and then his feet land far too close to the edge, in what he knows it’s a perfect balance, and still it’s so unnerving to see him playing, if not with death, at least with some serious injury in such a careless way, so as soon as Robin comes in his reach he grabs him by his utility belt and pulls him down to sit next to him.

Structurally speaking, gargoyle statues are not designed for people to sit on them, but with a little of motivation Jason makes it work anyway. Damian being tiny helps a lot, still the kid is not that happy to end up squished against Jason’s side.

“Todd, I hope you are aware that your fatness is highly inconvenient both for your choice of lifestyle and for my person”, he complains, pushing not so lightly at him, and Jason elbows him in the ribs.

“First, keep your jealousy for my muscle mass in check, kid”, he retorts. “Second, this is my spot and you’re already occupying it illegally, so don’t be rude or I’ll push you down the fucking tower.”

“We both know you wouldn’t”, Damian chirps, definitely unimpressed by the threat. “And this is not your spot, it’s a public building.”

“The hell it is”, Jason answers. “This is Henry.”

Damian looks up at him in confusion.

“Henry?”

Jason points at Henry, Damian cranes his neck back to look at the gargoyle and then turns again towards him. He blinks, opens his mouth to say something - something nasty, knowing him - but then he seems to rethink it and he closes it again.

“You are a weird individual, Todd”, he states matter-of-factly after a moment, but he leaves it at that.

“Pot, meet kettle”, Jason snorts, then he looks him over from the corner of his eye. “You wanna tell me what are you doing here?”

“I told you, Father is angry at me because of you”, the kid answers, but if that was true by now he’d have come at Jason with a knife and a thirst for revenge and he wouldn’t be sitting quietly next to him.

“I suppose you mean that he came home angry because of our fight and then yelled at you for no reason?”, he translates.

“He kind of had a reason”, Damian admits reluctantly. “Tonight I was supposed to be working on my moral qualities instead of my physical ones.”

“You were grounded”, Jason corrects with half a smile.

A grunt.

“If you prefer.”

“I still don’t see how it is my fault, brat.”

Damian glowers again and doesn’t answer, so Jason dramatically throws his hands in the air.

“Fine, fine, my apologies for having indisposed your dad so much that he actually forgot to spoil you as he usually does”, he scoffs, earning himself a pointy little elbows in a painful place between his ribs. He shoves at the kid’s head in retaliation, and blocks another punch aimed at his torso before they both give up.

Jason looks over at the kid again and sighs. When he speaks again he’s pretty sure that Henry’s going to laugh at him forever because of this.

“You know you didn’t exactly made things better between the both of you by sneaking off again after he already scolded you for it, right?”, he says anyway because somehow, somewhen and somewhere, without meaning it and definitely without wanting it, he discovered that he didn’t entire loath the idea of being an older brother to Bruce’s kids. And sometimes that meant saying hypocritical shits like this. He wonders how Dick pulls it off so neatly.

Damian gives him the universal I don’t care one bit about that sign, also known as a shrug. Which is kind of fair, since he’s, like, thirteen. Jason doesn’t know what the hell he was expecting, to be honest.

“Look, kid, you know how Bruce is”, he tries again.

Damian nods.

“Yes, I know. Father”, he starts slowly, measuring the words with great care. “Can be a fucking asshole sometimes.”

He lands it there just like this, and again, the only reaction Jason’s capable of having right away is to blink. One, two, three times. He didn’t misheard. A fucking asshole, that’s what the kid said. And it’s not even the words themselves - because god bless Alfred who keeps trying his best to educate all of them, but the kid has a foul mouth almost as bad as Jason’s - no, it’s the words and the combination of voice and accent, with all the right pauses and the syllables stretched out in all the right places.

He didn’t copy Jason’s voice - something he knows from Tim that he’s well capable of doing - yet it’s still very clear that Damian’s imitating him and that’s not one bit funny. Already in mild panic he picks up the kid and sits him down on his lap without even thinking about the likely violent physical repercussions of his act.

“Please, please, please”, he begs, grabbing him by his arms. “Tell me you never said that in front of Alfred.”

Damian clicks his tongue at him and there’s a spark of malevolent fun in his eyes while he drags the silence between them just to keep him on his toes.

“Damian”, Jason growls in a warning tone.

“Jason”, he mocks him.

A little shake, a little digging of big fingers into little shoulders.

“I’m not suicidal, Todd”, Damian finally capitulates with a scoff.

Jason finally exhales.

“Good. Because that would be a murder–suicide, you know? No way Alfred would let me live if he thinks that I’ve taught you to speak like that about your father”, he pauses. “Which I definitely didn’t. Right?”

Damian shakes his head no but his lips curl in a smile that promises future blackmailing and the opening of a brand new category of annoying mockeries.

“You are a little shit”, Jason sighs dramatically, but he can’t deny to be a little amused by the whole thing. He’s even more amused when Damian squirms over his lap, trying to regain his sitting spot between Henry’s stone paws.

He stops him more to annoy him than anything else, locking his arms around his waist to make him stay in place. Damian punches and wriggles around, pushing at every bit of Jason he can reach, but once established that he’s not letting go without a serious fight Damian does the same thing he uses to do with Dick: he huffs and theatrically leans in his older brother’s embrace, making a show of humoring him out of the graciousness of his heart. Jason laughs and rubs his stubbly cheek against Damian’s forehead, causing a new wave of protests and escape attempts.

“What were you and Father arguing about?”, Damian asks softly a few minutes later, once he quietens again.

He doesn’t look at him and Jason doesn’t know if he really wants an answer to his question or if he’s only asking him out of some sense of balance, since he’s not really grasped yet the concept of getting something without necessarily having to give something else back. Whatever his reasons are, Jason doesn’t really want to go there again.

“It doesn’t matter, kid”, which is kinda the truth. The subject of the argument is not the point, it’s the argument itself the problem. Raised voices and clenched fists, and a burning anger that should be long gone flaring back between them at the first spark. He’s supposed to be better than this.

“He told me about… Henry. Father, I mean”, Damian says, his voice still low and thoughtful. “Not tonight, of course. And he didn’t know you named it Henry, or he would’ve sent you to Arkham a lot sooner”, he teases, earning himself a painful pinch on his thigh. “But he told me that this was your favorite place back when- when you were-”

“Yeah, it was”, Jason deadpans, cutting him off just a little bit too abruptly, then he shoots his little brother a confused look. “Why did you two even had a conversation about this place anyway? Have you been here before?”

He feels more than he sees Damian shrugging against him.

“I used it as an observation post a while back, during a case. It has a good visual on the city”, he explains. “Father looked… uncomfortable with my choice, so I inquired for details.”

“Oh”, Jason answers. And he leaves it at that because honest to god, he doesn’t want to know anything else about Bruce and his weird, sudden attacks of feelings. Also he’s not a total idiot and Damian’s not as sneaky as he thinks he is.

He’s wondering about calling the kid out on his failed attempt to play peacemaker (and for what reason he’d try to do something like that Jason can’t even begin to imagine), but then something in one of Robin’s utility belt’s pockets pings and Damian wrestles again with Jason’s hold to pull out his phone.

Jason’s expecting angry voicemails or peremptory orders to come back home sent via text, instead the kid opens up a game and starts playing with some weirdly yellow viking midgets.

“Someone’s trying to attack my village and steal its resources”, Damian explains while he quickly taps on the screen. “Unworthy fools.”

Jason blinks. Tonight Damian is full of surprises, apparently.

“Uh-uh.”

“It’s good practice for strategy training and studying attack patterns.”

A light scoff.

“Sure.”

Since Damian can’t spare a hand to swat him with, he hits him in the shoulder with the back of his head.

“Shut up, Hood.”

Jason grins and complies for all of two minutes.

“You plan to spend the entire night up here playing video games?”, he asks then, eyes still focussed on the phone screen.

Again, Damian’s only answer is a shrug.

And, well. It’s not like Jason had better things to do tonight, and he doesn’t really mind the company. Henry doesn’t either, probably. Beside, Damian is a warm and weirdly soft weight against him, and he smells like kevlar and children shampoo, just like home used to, long, long time ago. So he sighs and rests his chin on the top of Damian’s head.

“Okay then.”

*

Sitting between the huge gargoyle’s paws, holding his knees close to his chest and wrapped in the black Robin’s cape, Damian looks every bit like a little bird kicked out of the nest way too soon.

Jason wonders if that’s how he looked like too, all those years ago, when Bruce came looking for him. He doesn’t remember feeling that tiny, but he’s pretty sure Damian doesn’t think as himself as tiny either, so it’s probably all adulthood wisdom.

He climbs up the old stones without having to pay too much attention to it, hands and feet automatically finding support points a little consumed by the years, but still as solid and reliable as ever.

He doesn’t pauses until he reaches Damian, and even then he doesn’t allow any silence wall between them. He scratches his knuckles against the kid’s head as a greeting, then gently pulls down the hood.

“So, baby D, what did your dad do this time?”, he singsongs cheerfully, sitting down next to him. Again, not the simplest of the tasks, but Jason’s getting the handle of it.

It doesn’t take a genius to know that there’s been a fight. You find a moping Robin perched on a roof and you can be sure as hell there’s an angry Batman somewhere else. It’s some kind of unwritten natural law.

Damian doesn’t answer right away, but he reaches back and pulls the hood over his head again. Jason has to poke him a few times to irritate him enough to make him snap.

“He’s a fucking asshole”, the kid snarls, and this time he’s not imitating Jason, he says it in his own voice, and Jason smiles because he can’t help it more than Damian can: it sounds so freaking cute.

“And what else is new under the sun”, he agrees anyway. “And don’t say “it’s night” because I’ll punch you.”

Damian doesn’t take the bait, just burrows his head further into his shoulders.

“C’mon kid, I’ll throw in an ice cream if it’s something that he’s never done before”, Jason tries again.

Still no answer.

“Fine, okay. Whatever it is we’ll just drop Henry over his head when he comes look for you. I’m positive he deserves it anyway.”

“He won’t look for me here”, Damian finally replies, bitter and angry. “He won’t look for me anywhere. He’s got better things to do now.”

“That’s not true, kid”, Jason offers weakly. “Beside, you said it yourself that Bruce knows about-”, he starts, and that’s when it clicks. Damian didn’t correct him when he said your dad but they were never talking about Bruce. And, well, shit.

It’s not like he doesn’t understand, because when it comes to love, Jason actually understands blurred lines more than anyone else. Fathers and brothers, children and partners, friends and lovers, it’s actually all very simple, just in a complicated kind of way.

He looks at Damian and thinks about Scarlet and Lian and Bizzarro and he decides that next time he sees him, Nightwing’s going to catch the hard part of Jason’s helmet with his forehead. He’s not gonna say anything, but he’ll take a photo and send it to Damian, and that will probably be enough for both of them, since as vengeance go, bats and little bats are always down for it.

But that’s for later. Right now he just pulls out his phone, unlocks it and taps on a little yellow icon.

And Damian must recognize the cheery jingle of the game right away, because he raises his head enough to peek out from under his hood almost immediately.

“I’m stuck at level four”, Jason explains, holding the phone for Damian to see. It’s not the complete truth because he’s not stuck, he just didn’t have the time to play it for a while, but Damian really doesn’t need to know that. “Wanna help?”

The kid considers the offer for a few seconds, then he makes grabby hands for the phone and Jason promptly pulls it out of his reach.

“Yeah, sure, I’m gonna leave my phone into my kid brother’s unsupervised hands, that’s totally gonna happen”, he scoffs. “Look, kid, I may not be Oracle but I know a few things about data protection and how memes are born.”

That at least earns him a sideways impish grin.

“Come here”, Jason says, smiling back.

This time it’s a offer, pure and simple. One that Damian knows he can refuse without hurting anyone’s feelings. One that he partially accepts anyway by leaning against Jason’s side and not rejecting the arm promptly wrapped around his shoulder.

Jason lets him take his phone then, and watches as he expertly starts to move around the little vikings, practically destroying everything Jason’s builded to remade the village according to his own schemes, loudly and quite rudely insulting his poor strategy skills in the meanwhile.

He buries his hand into Damian’s short hair and watches him play, throwing a few creative insults himself just to maintain the status quo and not to disappoint the kid, who clearly likes him better as a bad influence. And maybe it’s not much, but at least it’s something. Something little, but nice and honest, something that one day may become a cherished memory. Or not. Right now, Jason doesn’t really care.

Survey #76

“yeah, you’re a crazy bitch, but you fuck so good.”

do you ever think about what went wrong in your last relationship? we each made mistakes, and i feel more certain of this now that jason and i have talked. i, for one, gave up on life while still being alive. on jason's end, he, too, gave up on me instead of trying to rebuild me. do you know your best friend’s middle name? yes, colleen. she goes by her middle name, but her "real" name is elizabeth. you have to get a piercing, what do you get? vertical labret on my lip. would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler? a standard poodle. ever driven into the ghetto to buy drugs? no. mom denies it and got pissed once when i mentioned it, but we once lived in sharpsburg, and that was totally the ghetto. do you own a gun? as i'm mentally ill/have had suicidal tendencies, i legally can't. my mother even can't because i live with her. would you rather sleep with someone or alone? with someone. while it's less comfortable, it's comforting. are there any songs that remind you of falling snow? or any songs that remind you of winter time but are not necessarily about that? dude, i have noooo idea why, but for whatever reason, "dreamer" by ozzy osbourne definitely brings to mind winter for me personally. is there anything coming out soon (books, albums, movies, video games) that you're looking forward to? hmmm, i don't think so... but then again, i live under a rock and am not informed on what's coming out so- wAIT IS OUTLAST 2 OUT YET what is something you wish you had learned earlier that you know now? how would this have helped you if you'd known it then? i don't know if there's anything, honestly... i used to say i wish i'd known jason would leave me, but i guess i don't now. because i loved, beyond explanation. i loved with such a naive innocence, and i don't regret that. when you’re interested in someone, do you let them know? according to my history, i do. what was the last compliment you received? someone liked my hair. i got compliments on it non-stop at the hospital. do you have any siblings? are they older / younger? 
 including half-siblings, tiffany, misty, bobby, katie, and ashley are older. nicole is younger. have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced? it has been pierced before, and i plan on doing it again very soon. favorite shoes you have EVER owned? the finding nemo once i had as a kid were fly as FUCK allergic to? pollen and silver favorite fruit? strawberries who was your first prom date? jason where did you live the first time you moved out of your parent’s house? i lived with jason, amanda, and jacob. if you were to have sex right now, would you use a condom? in almost all cases, yes. the only situation where i wouldn't is if i was with jason at this very moment and he wanted to have sex, and he didn't have any. just apply the pull out method, and besides that, i shouldn't be ovulating right now, so i wouldn't get pregnant. do you think it’s bad to have sex at your age? no, i'm an adult. have you ever wanted to get drunk and take your mind off of everything? i sure have. how long do you think you will live? eh, probably early 80s, maybe even 70s... i'm not the healthiest person, mentally and physically. have you ever been stung by a bee? i have not. do you like the snow? very much so. how old are you? do you feel as old as you are? i am 21, but i certainly don't feel it. does the quality of a video, on youtube or a television, matter to you? at least very mildly, sure. it needs to be watchable at least. do you tend to listen to music that embraces your mood or does music dictate your mood? is it a little bit of both? i tend to embrace my mood with the music i pick. are there any books or films that have influenced your philosophy? if so, is there one you could name in particular? "johnny got his gun," i r8 8/8 what is the cutest animal? meerkat pups, oh my GOSH what seasons seems most fitting to your personality? in what ways and why? autumn, because everything is dying. :'D do you think you would be a good parent? i don't know, honestly... blue, black, or red pens; or another color? black do you like watching people play video games? yes, i do!! idk why, it's just entertaining to me. when was the last time you swam in a pool?  years ago what are your parents views on sex? err, in regards to what about it exactly? have you ever babysat before? yeah, for the neighbor. if your current boyfriend/crush suddenly moved away what would you do?  i'd be pretty devastated, honestly. if your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do?  well that'd be a problem, as she's married to a man. i'd be pretty concerned about what she'd do. have you ever dreamed about your wedding? i have. do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of facebook? nope. j and my pictures are still up there. ever plaigarised? no. i have too much respect as a writer. do you edit your profile pictures before posting them?  i do minor adjustments, of course. i was a digital photography student, we know aaall about the mandatory deception of editing. :P what's your middle name?  marie what's your wallpaper on your phone? lock screen is the bogeyman from "silent hill: downpour," but the artwork is from "anne's story." home screen is pyramid head from the white hunter comic. favorite tv commercial? the dirty mr. clean commercial mAKES ME SOB YA'LL SHOULDA SEEN ME THE OTHER DAY I WAS DONE what is your favorite type of cat?  hmmm. persians, sphinxes, ragdoll, etc... what religion were you raised in? are you still that religion, if you had one? catholicism, and no. i'm christian now. would you ever consider getting dreadlocks? nooooo. how many times is your cartilage pierced in your ears?  once. do you prefer to spend more time with your SO, family, or friends? why? in my history, my s.o. jason really just touched this part of my brain that just REALLY made me happy. if you see a homeless person asking for money, do you give them any? i'm not going to lie, no. i don't know that person, and WAY too many assholes are deceptive little shits. what will immediately disqualify a potential SO?  smoking, doing drugs, excessive drinking, abusive past, and i'm certain there are others i'm forgetting... i am honestly VERY picky. when was the last time you really panicked? when i overdosed a few days back. do you ever get eczema? nope. have you ever witnessed a serious physical fight? i have not. is there anyone you would do literally anything for?  honestly, yes. i'd kill for jason. it's very unhealthy and i wish the mentality would stop, but i honestly can't do much about it... do you enjoy corn on the cob?  i do. in your opinion, what's the ideal age to start having children? about mid-20s. what's the longest you've ever slept in one go? it HAD to be almost 12 hours. jason and i were up almost the entire night being horny whores and when i fell asleep, i was GONE. have you ever dated someone with an accent different than yours? no. does caffeine affect you, or not so much?  not very much at all. would you ever want to follow down the career path of your parents? no. but then again, they both dropped out of/didn't go to college, so... guess i'm not too far off. do you think “sleeve tattoos” are a good idea? *sexual moaning* if you have any tattoos, do you reckon you might regret them when you get older and have children? i sure won't. is there anything in particular that your parents argue about? what? just gonna say there's a reason they're divorced. do you act differently around the person you like? i mean, i'm happier. kissed someone you didn’t like?  on the cheek, never on the lips. ran a red light? no. experienced love at first sight?  nope. pointed a gun at someone?  no. had a gun pointed at you? no. dumped someone?  yep. lied to avoid a ticket? no. ridden in a helicopter? no. made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? i woulda preferred you to rip my fucking heart out. eaten snake?  omg no. puked on amusement ride?  no. been in a band? nope. been in handcuffs? i've been in full-body shackles on one occasion. i was going from the mental hospital to the court. what is your favorite breakfast food? pancakes. who do you (romantically) love? my ex, jason. do you enjoy kissing?  sure, yeah. what about making out? i r8 8/8 m8 where are you most ticklish? MY FEET HOLY SHIT where do you want to get married? gothic-styled mansion or similar building pls do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? yes. have you ever slow danced to a song you didn't know? no. if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why? south africa. i want to photograph the meerkats at the kalahari meerkat project. describe your perfect partner. his name's jason. would you prefer to be a vampire or a werewolf? vampire, i think. the werewolf transformation seems painful. most embarrassing moment?  borderline having a panic attack because i was like really close to having an orgasm for the first time and i didn't understand what was happening to my body lmao. jason was super cute and sweet about it though and helped me calm down. would you ever consider getting married?  i want to get married. if it were possible, what exotic animal would you keep as a pet? if it weren't so bad for them, i'd totally have a meerkat. what is your least favorite thing about your appearance?  my stomach. ew. have you ever had a bonfire on the beach?  no, but that sounds cool. do you listen to music while driving?  it has to be VERY quiet. or else i can't concentrate. have you ever received an autograph from a celebrity?  no. can you honestly say you’ve been drunk before? i have. is there a certain color of eyeshadow you prefer, if you wear eyeshadow? black as my soul. would you ever do something you didn't enjoy sexually just to please your partner? depends on what, really. like there are some situations where i'd absolutely draw the line, but here's an example: i don't like oral, but i guess i'd give it sometimes if it made him happy. when was the last time you watched south park?  probably not since j and i were together... i remember one occasion where we chilled in my room for hours watching it. are you italian? no. where’s the nearest game stop near you?  in rocky mount, by wal-mart. do you have any best friends that you only know online? i guess i still consider mini at least a very close friend, despite not talking much. i have other very close friends too, but not best, i guess. if you could, would you want to stay young forever? yes. being elderly is just, in general, inconvenient. not saying old people are, just the state of being old is. are you interested in anime? no more, no less than the usual person. hogwarts house: just took a quiz, and apparently i'm a mix of all? i very well coulda been off, 'cuz there was a lot of harry potter terminology that i don't know... what’s “out of bounds” for you during sex?  do. not. hit me aggressively. main thing. hickies - get ‘em or give ‘em?  i enjoy getting 'em, enjoy giving 'em. are you okay with rough sex?  hell yeah. i think i'd prefer soft and sensual more frequently, but i'm not totally opposed to just fucking. how big was the biggest dick you’ve ever seen? was it in a porn or in real life?  this survey sure took a sexual turn. but i've only ever seen one penis, so... how do you feel about daddy dom/little girl roleplaying?  nO JUST NO do you have any sexual regrets? i regret not going all the way with j. he was my first love, and he deserved to know me in every single way possible. have you had anal?  no, and i don't want it. do you like to spank/be spanked? i like being spanked, but not too hard. do you like teasing or would you rather get straight to the point? tEASE TEASE TEEEEEAAAAAASE are you able to have emotionless sex? fuck that. sex should be the epitome of physical displays of affection, imo. does penis size really matter?  honest to god, i don't care. it's not like a man can choose how "well-off" he is. describe an orgasm. oh wow. i don't actually think i've ever properly orgasmed, but i was extremely close once and totally panicked. it felt totally otherworldly, and i honestly felt like screaming, puking, and just exploding all at once??? i was so scared at first, but as i calmed down, shit was awesome. what’s the longest time you’ve had sex for? never had sex, but done sexual things for hours... like, all night. if you could change the person you lost your virginity to, would you? i would change the fact i didn't lose my virginity to jason. what’s something sexual that you thought you wouldn’t like, but ended up liking? anr/abf surprised the FUCK out of me. i honestly thought it'd be really awkward and uncomfortable, but it's honestly an extremely stimulating and motherly sensation okay i'll stop before this turns into a pornish thing. but basically it taught me ya can't totally judge some things 'til you try it. give your best sex advice, GO. uhhh. ever tried sucking on your partner's tongue while making out? turned my ex the fuck on, at least. would you say you’re good in bed?  have evidence i was good enough. do you like gagging on cock/having someone gag on your cock? why? i just choked on my fucking drink. but no, because i like air. when it comes to oral, are you gentle? do you use your hands too?  i. was so. timid giving oral. i was so scared i was going to hurt him. i don't think i've ever used my hands at the same time. okay, how do you feel about handjobs? since we were stuck with foreplay due to my abstinence, we relied on handjobs a lot. they're great. have you had any unwanted pain during sex? i've had pain while being fingered, sure. but i guess it wasn't entirely unwanted. has anyone drew blood from you during sex, whether it was by cutting, biting, or scratching? how did you feel about that? no, never. have you ever fucked someone who was sad? did it help them emotionally or make it worse?  i'm sure i have, and he's done it to me when i was sad plenty of times, and yes, it's honestly a great mood booster. are you more submissive or dominant? i'm definitely more submissive. who’s your ideal sexual partner?  jason was nothing short of perfect. are you accepting “applications” for a partner? lmao fuck that i don't do no "applications" for this kinda shit. who was your first kiss with? first person to kiss me was juan, but the first person i kissed who reciprocated my kiss was jason. how far have you gone sexually? depends on how you rank sexual things, idk...? did you shave your legs today? done with the sexual questions, eh? anyway, no. have you ever made out with someone in public at all? no. do you think masturbation is dirty? not necessarily dirty, just lustful. have you ever made out in a hot tub? *adds to bucket list* do you play with the other persons hair when you kiss? jason had long hair for a male, to his shoulders, and yeah, i liked playing with it. have you ever smoked pot? nope. do you sing in front of people? NOOOOO. ever lived in a trailer park? no. have you ever had dandruff? no, but i have a dry scalp. though both cause flaking, they're still different. what would people say about you at your funeral?  i was very quiet and thought too much. what lessons in life did you learn to hard way? your actions have consequences. would you ever give up your life to save another?  i'm not going to pretend to be a superhero. it depends on who it is. what is stopping you from living the life you want to live?  money, health, willpower... ever held a newborn animal? kittens, yes. how do you dress when you’re not at work? i don't have a job, so. but when i'm home anyway, i'm dressed for comfort, usually in my pajamas. if i'm going out, i will dress usually in something like yoga pants and a graphic tee. do you care overly about other people? the only person i'd say i care "overly" about is jason. what was your favorite pokemon as a child? charmander (: do you know what the heck the difference is between the statements “we’re just dating” and “we’re together”?   technically the same in my honest opinion, but at the same time, "we're dating" also sounds more casual. if a person is brought up speaking both spanish and english in equal amounts and equally fluently, which language do they think in?   *KA-BOOM* have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?   it was pierced for many years, and i'm planning on getting it re-pierced very soon. last film you watched?   i just finished "finding dory" actually, now i'm watching "zootopia." when consuming a beverage that comes in a can, do you prefer to drink it directly from the can or do you pour it into a cup?   i like to drink it from the can.  tastes sliiightly different and is colder. what do you do to cure a headache?   sleep or take medicine. do you still possess any belongings from your childhood? do they hold some special significance?   absolutely.  i actually have two things i call "treasure boxes" where i hold certain, very special belongings.  nostalgia overdose. are any of your fingers or toes deformed? what about the nails?   no.  i would, however, call one of my nails unusual.  my right ring finger, its nail curves inward towards the base definitely more than it should.  it's so weird considering both my immediate sisters have it, too. when yawning, do you cover your mouth?   always in public, yes.  it just seems polite. as a kid, did you love playing on neopets?   neopets and webkinz were my SHIT.  i was more into webkinz, but neopets was amazing, too.  i loved the dragon one and the newer one that looked like a doggish thing with a stripe going down its body?  i think it started with an "x"? what is the background on your desktop? why’d you choose that?   on my own laptop, it's trico and the boy from "the last guardian" bc i love that game and its artwork.  on the laptop i've been using for like three months, it's a picture of my sister ashley and her baby aubree at the beach. are you comfortable with people going through your phone?   no, and i don't know why, actually...?  like i have NOTHING bad on there, it's just... weird? do you tend to daydream a lot? if so, about what?   i do, aaaaa lot.  aaand it's always about jason. e_e have any interesting conversations lately?   ohhh god.  not necessarily a convo, but lemme just make this known. chelsea: *creates fire w/ hairspray and lighter* *screams ensue* YOU ALMOST MADE ME COME HARDER THAN JASON EVER HAS then came the laughter and the stomachache from all the heaving what do you have pierced on you?   now?  only my ear lobes, and i'm livid about it.  i had to take my fucking piercings out at the hospital, and they closed up.  my ear lobes didn't tho, i guess 'cuz i've had them since childhood... but i am actually pissed. where do your grandparents live?   maternal: well, she technically lives in florida, but stays in new york with her son's family a load.  paternal: michigan. pencils; mechanical or traditional?   mechanical, by far.  eliminates the need to sharpen. what was the last zoo/aquarium you went to?   asheboro zoo or whatever it's called. what is the last big risk you took? did it pay off?   talking to jason face-to-face, absofuckinglutely.  that could've so easily ended in another suicide attempt.  but anyway, yes, it paid off. what's the closest you've come to death?   overdosing, i guess. what chocolate is your favorite?   milk who is your favorite blogger?  i don't really have one. what was the best thing you were given?  jason's love and attention, even if just for three and a half years of my life. have you ever cheated on your partner?  nope. are you over your past?  not in the slightest. did you try to change for a person?  ha.  he left too soon to give me a chance. e_e are you in a good or bad mood?   eh, i'm good for now. name someone you can’t live without.   no one.  after losing jason, well, i'm sure i can survive without anyone, ultimately. are you a crybaby?   10/10 do people praise you for your looks?   no. SEXIEST disney character that's not human?   okay sorrynotsorry but scar and steele are SEXY do you believe in the phrase “if it’s meant to be, it will be”?  ha!  no, sorry.  i refuse to believe jason and i weren't "meant to be." what do you put on hotdogs?  ketchup and mustard do you know how to play chess?   no. did you/are you going to go to prom?  i went to jason's senior and my senior.  man... i remember how shy he was when he asked me... it was so cute. :/ what’s the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced? having a pilonidal cyst opened and drained while still conscious and insufficiently drugged.  FUCK THAT. what’s the most emotionally/mentally painful thing you’ve ever experienced?   jason leaving me. have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life?   not to my knowledge. are you a very open or private person?   open online, private af irl what do you get complimented on the most?  my hair who was the last person you talked about sex with?  chelsea or colleen what was the last deep conversation you had about?   jason.  i was talking with chelsea. why do some girls become so dependent on their boyfriend/husband?   well, i, for one, was rather dependent on jason, and it was because i needed a pillar, and he was strong, but i guess i put too much weight on him... i had no fucking idea it was too much.  as well, it was because i am not an independent person.  i'm a follower and act like a dog on a leash towards the people i trust.  it's simply my desire to be a loyal companion.  i don't know how to change that. do you enjoy going to church?   i do, but not for TOO long. what do you have tattoos of/what do you want tattoos of?   oh god.  you asked for it.  as for tats i have, i have a semicolon butterfly on my right wrist, "perfectly flawed" written on my left, upper arm, and "ohana" written on my right collarbone.  as for what i want, i have about 100 ideas, but i'm going to only list the ones i am quite serious about.  my next tat is of "denialism" by da's tatchit, and it's going on my right upper arm as a half-sleeve.  here's the list: - "... and you ain't got his smile" written maybe under my left breast.  it's a harley quinn quote, and i want it as dedication to jason.  which no, i will not regret. - the magic sigil thing from "shadow of the colossus" somewhere - either a pyramid head, robbie the rabbit, or halo of the sun tat to pay tribute to "silent hill" - "he who knows pain is dangerous" written somewhere, which is a rammstein lyric, in either english or maybe german - spider sternum tattoo - a hydra coming towards the viewer with "from slave to master, i've become the hydra" (otep lyric) written in a semi-circle above it.  i honestly want this on my lower stomach, like, starting above my private, but i most likely will not do this.  still thinking of where to relocate it. - "i believe what doesn't kill you simply makes you stranger" written somewhere, a quote from the joker. - "how long is forever?" "sometimes, just one second" from "alice in the wonderland."  i want the quotes in speech bubbles vertical of each other. - a harley quinn-esque design with "rotten" written on it.  on my right asscheek.  yeah.  talk about slutty lmao. - a large viper on one of my hips. - three sketch-style arrows going down my left lower arm - "once upon a time, i ripped the wings from my spine, but when i hide inside your eyes, i still pretend that i can fly" (otep lyric) written along my spine I HAVE SO MUCH MORE.  but my phone's dead (i have more ideas on there) and i have even more saved to my dead computer... are most of the adults you know married or divorced?   divorced... it's so sad. :/ when was the last time you were mistaken for a mom?   at therapy some time ago.  mom was with me, and she was babysitting. what is your mom’s and dad’s favorite tv show?   mom's: "the big bang theory," probably.  dad, idk. have you ever suspected your mom or dad of having an affair?   nope do you think buying second hand clothes is gross?   certainly not. does it gross you out when your parents kiss?   well, they're divorced, sooo... does your dad swear?   yeah. do you sweat easily?   i sweat like an obese pig.  it's due to one of my medications. if your last kiss asked you on a date, what would you say?   "absolutely!" when you like someone, do you picture what your children will look like?   no. when was the last time you drank strawberry milk?   elementary school when i tried it for the first time.  absolutely fucking disgusting. do you own a pair of fingerless gloves?   yup.  i was big into that in high school. did you have a good driver’s ed teacher?   he was fine, but i am 100% certain that on one occasion, if i had listened to him, we would have died. if you have siblings, which one of you is going to be married first?   ashley's already married, i'll probably never find anyone, so i guess nicole's next. did you kiss the last person you really wanted to kiss?   like, do you mean did i kiss him the last time i wanted to kiss him?  if so, no.  he barely even let me hug him. when your last relationship ended, how long was it before you felt ready to think about being with someone else?   it's been over a year and i still don't feel entirely ready. do you think it’s wrong for someone to commit themselves to a long-term relationship at a young age? explain.   no, and there's no real need to explain...?  obviously, even young people are capable of sincere love? are you legal to drink?   yep. do you have any dirty pictures on your cellphone?   i do not. what do you want more than anything in this world?   jason. last time you felt physical pain?   earlier today.  my stomach was hurting. last time you felt emotional pain?   i'm clinically depressed.  i live with emotional pain. what are you listening to?   "american horror story" is on.  it's actually a ptsd trigger, so i'm trying to watch it again to like... edit the memory.  i'm doing it with chelsea so i won't be alone. do you like your handwriting?   i do. do you own any dresses? if so, what colors are they?   i do not.  i wish. when was the last time you went tanning?   never. have you ever been in a car accident?   quite a mild one.

☯ for celebs!!!

send me a ☯ for a brotp meme

Billie/Jason/Jonathan (yea, I’m doing the ot3) 

who’s older?: Jason and Jonathan are the same age. Probably a couple months apart. Billie is the baby. 

who’s more protective?: Hm, maybe Jonathan. He’s always ready to fight for them. Billie is protective of Jason though. He was her first friend after she moved to LA. But she’s also protective of Jon. Not as much though since Jon fights his won battles often. Jason is protective of the both of them too though. 

what’s their origin?: Jon and Jason met at some gala years back. Jon hated it, of course. He hates going to those kind of things. He hung around the bar for most of the night, which is where he met Jason. Despite the major personality differences, they hit it off. Years later, Billie got cast as a very, very small recurring role on a show where Jason is a huge star. I imagine he hits on all the female extras, hit on her and she just LAUGHED in his face. Jason then introduced Billie to Jon and they’ve all been friends since then. 

what are four words to describe their relationship?: Sarcastic, boozy, funny, breezy 

how does each one feel when the other gets into a romantic relationship?: do they get jealous? are they super protective? proud of their friend getting out there?? Billie and Jon definitely tease Jason whenever he gets in a relationship since he’s all about the PR relationship. They don’t really take them seriously. Jon and Jason also tease Billie when she dates someone but are generally protective. They get all older brother like and have to check the guy out and make sure he’s worthy of her. When Jon dates and is actually open about it, they’re happy and surprised. He isn’t really the lovey dovey type so again, there is a lot of teasing. But I think in general, happiness and being proud that he put himself out there and opened up to someone. 

list three problems that they’ve encountered in their time together: Finding time to actually hang out. They’re all busy with their film schedules so sometimes they can go a long time without seeing each other. Also, finding a nice place where there won’t be a bunch of fans or cameras in their faces. And…that’s only two but that’s really all I can think of. 

how often do they fight?: Every time they see each other. But it’s never anything serious. They’re all kind of sarcastic assholes with each other. So it’s all for laughs. 

what would their biggest fight be about?: Australia vs. England/Who’s Homeland is better? Jon and Jason say England. Billie says Australia. It’s never ending. 

nicknames/terms of endearment?: Billie calls Jason - Jayso and Jon - Jono from time to time. Jon calls them by their names because he doesn’t do fluffy/cutesy nicknames. Jason usually sticks with the normal names too, maybe calls Billie hon or sweetie but not too often and probably usually before saying something sarcastic. 

how long will they last?: do they fall out a few months after friendship blooms? do they laugh at their respective grandchildren together while looking over photos from decades ago? I’m gonna say FOREVERRRRRRRRR! They all love each other and like hanging out. I can’t imagine them not staying close to each other. 

how well do they know each other?: They know a lot ore about each other than Wikipedia does. No, really. They’re close. Between all the teasing they do have somewhat serious conversations. They know each other’s likes and dislikes, goals in life and details about their past. 

which of the two is more: violent, expressive, affectionate, irritable, intelligent, attractive, kind: Jon - Violent, Irritable. Jason - Attractive, Kind. Billie - Expressive, Affectionate. They’re all fairly intelligent. Even if they joke and say Jason is just a pretty face. 

are there any chances of them n o t staying platonic?: Well, Jason and Jon definitely aren’t going to hook up. Billie and Jon look at each other like siblings. I wouldn’t put it pass Billie and Jason to drunkenly make out at least once but that would be them super, super drunk. They’re all very platonic. 

how would they react if the other were to die?: Devastated. 

what extent would one half of the brotp go for the other?: Billie would defend her boys like crazy, Jon would fight people like crazy and Jason would also defend them like crazy. They’re like a little family, really. They would do a lot for each other. 

list headcanons for them based around: a slide, a laptop, winter, coca-cola, braiding hair, shoes, two of your choice: Winter is actually kind of an argument with them. Jason and Jon say that winter is during the obvious December to March months. But Billie is a backwards Australian and insists that nope, those are summer months. And whenever it’s in the middle of ACTUAL winter and it gets a little chilly, she gets all dramatic and wears a coat and says “it’s so cold for summer” and then an intense debate will break out for three days. Billie is in love with french braids. Especially the cutesy french braided pigtails. She absolutely loves them. However, she can’t do it herself. Whenever she tries it looks all loose and uneven. So, she has somehow convinced both Jason and Jon to learn. They watched numerous videos online and now whenever Billie wants her hair braided, she finds one of them and has them do it. As payment, she always buys the first two rounds at the bar.  

Tyler/Nikki

who’s older?: You know, I have no clue. Nikki might be though. 

who’s more protective?: Tyler is more protective over Nikki. He’s known her for years and has a huge crush on her and everyone knows it. And he’s very protective. He gets really defensive any time there is something bad said about her in the press. 

what’s their origin?: Probably at the Kids Choice Awards. Tyler was very young when he was discovered and so was Nikki. They probably presented at the award show and then hung out afterwards. They saw each other a lot at these kind of events and eventually just became friends. As they got older they would hang out at bigger, more mature events then silly award shows. 

what are four words to describe their relationship?: Playful, lively, flirty, flawed

how does each one feel when the other gets into a romantic relationship?: do they get jealous? are they super protective? proud of their friend getting out there?? They get jealous. Tyler already makes it known he’s interested in Nikki so obviously he gets jealous. But in the end, he’s also happy if she’s happy. He’s not really a sore loser about it. And Nikki gets jealous too. She likes the attention Tyler gives her and when he’s dating someone he isn’t being all flirty with her and so she gets a bit jealous. 

list three problems that they’ve encountered in their time together: Tyler’s feelings for her, Fans/paparazzi inserting themselves in their business (Tyler’s fault), Nikki leading him on here and there  

how often do they fight?: I don’t think they’ve ever fought. Sure she gets annoyed when he’s openly says he likes Nikki but she denies him and he gets jealous when she’s with someone else. But they don’t ever let that get in the way of their actual friendship 

what would their biggest fight be about?: If they actually got into a fight, like a real one, it would be Tyler’s feelings for her. 

nicknames/terms of endearment?: Babe, hon, sweetie, baby, sexy, stuff like that. Also Ty and Nik. 

how long will they last?: do they fall out a few months after friendship blooms? do they laugh at their respective grandchildren together while looking over photos from decades ago? They’ve been friends since they were middle school aged and nothing has come between them yet. I don’t really thing anything could. They’ll be friends a really long ways down the road. 

how well do they know each other?: I imagine they know pretty much everything there is to know about each other. Again, they’ve known each other since they were like 10/11 and they’re in their 20′s now. There isn’t much they keep secret or really can keep secret. 

which of the two is more: violent, expressive, affectionate, irritable, intelligent, attractive, kind: I’d say - Nikki is more violent, irritable, intelligent and Tyler is more expressive, affectionate and kind. They’re both very attractive people though so tie on that. 

are there any chances of them n o t staying platonic?: Yes and no. They’ll definitely dabble in something more but never actually date or be exclusive. They’ll always be first and foremost platonic friends. 

how would they react if the other were to die?: It would be a huge blow to either of them. They’re like each other’s longest lasting friends. 

what extent would one half of the brotp go for the other?: Tyler would do anything Nikki asked him to do. Honestly, he is a sucker for her. She would do a lot for him too but not quite as much. 

list headcanons for them based around: a slide, a laptop, winter, coca-cola, braiding hair, shoes, two of your choice: Nikki and Tyler have had a pretty nice tradition over the years that right after a party or an after party, they get some fast food and go back to one of their homes to crash. Because of this, Tyler has acquired so many pairs of Nikki’s shoes over the years that she has her own shoe rack in the guest bedroom’s closet. She comes over, kicks off the uncomfortable heels and forgets to grab them as she heads out the next day to her car. Sometimes she’ll have him bring them over to her but there’s enough left behind that he had to do something with them. Tyler will never admit it to anyone other than Nikki but he’s actually afraid of heights. But he loves water parks and going up on the big slides they have. But again, afraid of heights. When he was younger, he told Nikki this in confidence and she promised to go on every water slide with him. That way he’d have someone with him and wouldn’t be so scared. Now, as an adult, he’s still not a fan of heights but isn’t too afraid to go up on a water slide alone but he’s so used to Nikki being by his side that he generally won’t go on one without her. 

5. Do you hear the people sing?

Who: Jackson Masters (also: Damien Reyes, Red Arcton, James ‘Scorpian’ something, Desmond Reyes, Anastasia Innot) What: A character study, I guess? Focus on Jackson and music, anyway.

“ – And apparently, it would be a fucking fool’s errand, if you will, to bother putting effort, because I am always a disappointment, and those who are always disappointments need not try to do what they are best at.”

Jackson doesn’t hesitate to throw a drumstick at Damien’s head for that bullshit, and Scorpian – James, but calling him that tends to lead nowhere, because he elects to ignore it – scoffs so he doesn’t have to. “You’re full of shit, you pretentious asshole,” he says to Damien.

The stick hits the side of Damien’s head, and he shakes his head as if to clear it, and grins lazily over the beer he’s been pretty much sculling. He’s high on something, probably; Jackson knows him well enough to know he only gets this verbose – and polite – when he’s not sober. “But Scorp, haven’t I disappointed you by beginning to say anything about it in the first place? And haven’t I therefore proven my point exactly? I didn’t have to put any effort in at all, and yet, here we are – you, disappointed; me, proven right. Again.”

“I’ll give you again,” Scorpian snaps nonsensically, and Jackson laughs as he lunges at him.

“We’re doing Pretty Reckless today,” Red says as she walks in. She’s got a real name, but unlike Scorpian and his badly kept secret, it isn’t a well known secret, and anyway, Red sounds kind of sensible, in Jackson’s estimation, so he’s never asked her what the truth is. She doesn’t bother acknowledging the headlock Damien is currently in, except to roll her eyes. “Mostly ‘cause Dam’ over here needs practice at his high notes if he ever wants to get anywhere before the newbie arrives to replace Mr Traitor over here.”

Jackson spreads his hands in surrender. “Look, if I had any input at all, I’d say no. But it’s my mums’ greatest wish that I go.”

“Fucking Juilliard, you shit,” Scorpian says, which is a fair point.

“If you needed a piece of paper from somewhere fancy to prove you’re a talented musician, Jack’, we could’ve broken into the Fort and written something up on one of their embroidered napkins.”

“I’m pretty sure that isn’t the same thing,” Jackson tells Damien, “but thanks.”

“Course it ain’t the same thing. One of them you aren’t ditching us. What’re we meant to do without a drummer? Tell us that, O great traitor.”

Jackson snorts, and flaps a hand at them dismissively. “It’s not like I’m going to Juilliard to study drumming. I’m doing piano – keyboard – the blend, if I can. You guys will still be the only people with recordings of me banging the drums.”

“Yeah, because the sixteen other instruments you can play aren’t enough for you. A fucking harp, honestly, why did you learn that?”

The answer, which Damien would say if he were sober enough to be paying more attention and share the memory with the others, would be that Damien bet Jackson he couldn’t learn to play Zombie by the Cranberries on a harp in a month. Jackson had learned it by the end of the week, and won naming rights for the band Damien was dragging him into at the time. So it happened that Distressed Monday was a name Jackson had plucked from the aether just before exams, and also figured out how to cover popular songs on the harp, just an extension of playing by ear and driving his former instructors insane.

“One of you can take care of the drum side of things fine. I have faith in you,” Jackson defends weakly. “Look, are we going to get in some practice, or not?”

-

Before Juilliard, Jackson is wound tight, a cord on the precipice of snapping, the most neurotic member of the band he’d joined in high school. He’d looked the part before he was asked, wearing studded leather jackets stolen from his fathers’ collection, too-tight jeans that cut off the circulation to everything below the waist, and boots that weren’t platforms, quite, but came close. Damien had been the one to invite him to try his hand at being the drummer, back when it was nothing more than an abstract plan, and had sold it as stress relief.

(A certain kind of pressure came from being the child of a grunge master and an operatic genius, something Damien knew. Damien had, at one time, been one of Jackson’s most trusted friends, aware of the struggle Jackson felt thanks to the one panic attack he’d witnessed, back when he and Jackson first met.

It was before the drugs, before the band, before anything; the would-be punk rocker had found a boy in a studded leather jacket, huddled in an alleyway just off his favourite record shop. Aborted breaths had caught his attention, and he’d reluctantly peered into the alley, expecting a situation of the like Anastasia had saved his brother from ages ago. Instead, he finds a lone boy, older than him, unbruised and unmarked, fighting for a full breath and hunched in on himself, as close to the ground as he can get. Damien talked him down from the terror of certain death, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Or should be.)

During Juilliard, Jackson focuses on the music. He drives his tutors insane with his fondness for learning by ear, but they manage to beat an understanding of actual written music into him, proper, lengthy things, and not the aborted mess of notes his father and mother are fond of. He promised before he left that he’d keep contact with his friends from Port Lyndon, but as assignments swamp and more time passes between their messages and his own, it becomes too awkward to reply with yet another excuse. So Jackson lets the contact die off in drips and drabs, and loses himself to the music.

It’s at Juilliard that he starts singing, minoring in it, discovering a knack for it that must be inherited from his mother. She’s operatic, and enthralling, and enrapturing; he has some of that when he sings, too; it has applied to much of the music he has played over the years. He tends to ignore the way his tutors struggle to complain about anything other than his approach to learning music, and so it goes largely unnoticed. So Jackson picks up singing and spends years mastering both that and piano, and he comes out of it with such a range his tutors try to convince him to go for opera, like his mother – it is not every day one finds a switch, capable of being either tenor or bass and anything in between, somehow keeping it convincing regardless of the role he fills. He’s a coloratura for sure, and it enraptures and vexes those assigned to train him, especially when he denies operatic training in favour of going home to a YouTube channel and music hosted on various streaming services.

(The blood of a siren runs in his mothers veins – Kiri Kaufman is a hybrid, a half-blood, half human and half supernatural. Her son is one-quarter siren; sea water and enchanting runs in his veins. If he heard of magic and chose to dabble, he could be gifted in charming others to do his bidding, if he so desired. Technically speaking, a drop of siren blood is enough to give some the power to take over the world, at least through musical means.

Jackson knows none of this, of course. He is absently aware of the supernatural and the way the sea calls to him, sometimes, but he thinks of it not at all. It’s less stressful, that way – and he has had to stress less somehow. How else could he not be the tightly wound geek of yesteryear?)

-

After Juilliard, Jackson comes home to meet step-siblings, as Kiri has married in his absence. There are three of them, all younger than him, and their dad is a decent bloke called John, who Jackson isn’t really interested in getting to know. And his dad is in L.A., has been there since Christmas break after Jackson started at the world’s most well known music college.

So he moves into a tiny flat with half-heartedly improvised sound proofing in the form of foam stuck to his walls, and dives into the world of YouTube fame in earnest, taking advantage of his many musical talents (prodigious in all except guitar, which for some reason didn’t come as easily) to gain a following that grows by the day. And also into local fame. There’s no reason he can’t perform in bars or be hired for concerts at parties, after all.

“What the shit,” someone says after a show at a dingy bar that Jackson is fairly sure has a fight right. “Jackson? Jackson Masters? Didn’t you go off to music school or something?”

Jackson pauses, surprised at being recognised despite the fact that he’s been known in certain circles all his life (the media in Port Lyndon is easily bored, since so many of the potentially impossible things get covered up somehow). It takes him a moment to place the voice, even after he turns around. “Desmond?”

Desmond Reyes had been the older, overprotective, brother of Damien, way back when. He’d been adopted by this blonde femme fatale, and – there she is, Jackson thinks in some surprise, catching sight of Anastasia over the hulking mass of a man he remembers being – well, not weedy, no one could seem weedy alongside a teenaged Damien, but something close to it. “Red had a theory that you thought you were too good for them since you got into Juilliard. Between us, I’m pretty sure she just missed ogling you.”

There’s a taunt there, Jackson is fairly sure. He offers a placid smile instead and clasps Desmond’s hand in a brief shake, amusement piling over the place where he is sure he’d have once begun hyperventilating. “I’m no better than I was back then,” he says instead of freaking out, “how are the others, anyway? Is DM still a thing?”

“Despite Damien’s best efforts to make it not, yeah, Monday’s still a thing.”

Jackson blinks. “Is that an undertone I hear? Did something happen – did Damien do something?” Because when Jackson had left, Damien had been high more often than not, and he wouldn’t be surprised if the drugs had… complicated matters for the band, or pissed off Red enough that she might actually leave.

A shadow passes over Desmond’s face and, as if summoned by a change in mood, Anastasia appears and elbows her friend – soulmate, Jackson had always privately thought – until he takes a beer off her hands so she can clap him on the shoulder. “Damien messed up,” she says, blunt. “Didn’t stop at ecstasy, just got worse and worse. And then got Angeline into it, until she got herself out. He’s – not great, now.”

Jackson is fairly certain he doesn’t know an Angeline. Regardless, he frowns, concerned in spite of the tone Anastasia adopts that very clearly says she thinks whatever Damien gets, he deserves. “He’s still looking after himself besides that, right? Food and shelter and such?”

Anastasia and Desmond exchange a look. “Um,” Desmond says, and waits for Anastasia to say something. Anastasia doesn’t seem to know what to say, though, aside from “You should talk to Scorpian and Red, they know better than we do.”

It’s not the full story, Jackson is sure. They definitely know more – Desmond is too overprotective not to. He feels a dull ache, that old worry from his teen years rising in his gut, and says his farewells to the other two to go back to his set, some numbers from musicals he thinks he’s pretty good at.

It’s easier to drown his worry in music, after all. At least it isn’t destructive.