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#Keeping up with the Wayne Family
punkiebuttons · 8 months
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Someone needs to make a fic or series about the keeping up with the Kardashians but it’s the Batfam
To show my support I’m making incorrect quotes
You can show your supporting by reblogging so someone makes this ;)
Bruce, at a restaurant: You guys should get the orange soda, it's amazing.
Y/N: Okay
Waiter: Can I get you guys anything to drink?
Bruce: Orange soda, please!
Y/N: I'll have the strawberry soda.
Clark: Me too, strawberry soda.
Bruce:
Batman @robin: You’re doing amazing sweetie
Bruce: Jason would you stop talking pictures of yourself your brother is going to jail
Bruce: My diamond earring came off in the ocean and it’s gone
Alfred: Sir, there are people who are dying
*the Batman origin story*
Tim: I don’t have any cell service here and it’s giving me a rash
Damian walking into the room and smacking Tim with a bag: Don’t be fucking rude!
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bet-on-me-13 · 2 months
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Danny holds an Intervention for Brucie Wayne.
So! Danny is the head of R&D at WayneTech, and he often works closely with Bruce and Lucius when they want him to make "Proof of Concept" Gadgets and Vehicles. He doesn't question the absurdity of some of the stuff he builds, he was raised by Mad Scientists after all, all of it seems perfectly normal to him!
But he has noticed something concerning about his Boss.
He really needs to get his Partying in control. Every time he comes into work he has eyebags covered by makeup, some bruises from tripping while drunk, and he is always super cagey about what he did last night. Danny asked some of his coworkers about it, and they noticed it too.
They also bring up that he sometimes comes into work with a really foggy mind, which is probably the aftereffects of doing some kind of drugs at whatever party he was at the previous night.
Even his Hangovers seem really bad! Worse than usual, but he powers through them and keeps acting like his normal Himbo self! Danny realizes that Bruce needs to calm down. He has Kids to take care of, and Alfred needs less work on his plate
So he contacts a bunch if Bruce's Friends, his Family, and even a few coworkers who brought up their concerns to him, and he stages an Intervention.
...
Bruce didn't know what to expect when he walked into the conference room at Wayne Enterprises. He had been called in by Danny, his head of R&D, for a Meeting earlier that day, but Danny had failed to explain the purpose of the Meeting.
He had barely made it on time. He had spent the entire night chasing down Scarecrow, and a slip up had caused him to get hit by some Fear Toxin, which took forever to work its way out of his system. It didn't help that the Antidote gave him a splitting headache.
Bruce opened the door to the Conference Room, and was met with a mishmash of faces. Clark was sitting close to the head of the Table, with Lois at his right, and Diana to hers. In the crowed he could also see Dick and Steph holding in barely contained laughter, with Tim looking a little lost to the side. Damian looked as if he would rather be anywhere else, Duke was looking as list as Tim, and Cass was just smirking at him with a look of amusement.
He could also see the faces of various employees of Wayne Enterprises, among them being Lucius and Tam.
What was going on?
The door closed behind him, and he turned to see Danny standing behind him.
"Bruce, this is an Intervention."
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bonchobrick · 11 months
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tw: slight suicidal actions (but not really the batfam are wildly clueless to the actual context to danny's bullshit hes not suicidal--in this fic--he's dead get it RIGHT brucie)
Au where Batfam are entirely convinced that the new vigilante in Gotham, danny, has time travel powers because he can vanish away from their senses completely
This becomes a problem however when 
Bruce searches for him because wants to save Jason. Danny can save Jason not in the--im a time traveler and i can bring him or you back from or to the past--but in the, I’m a ghost king and have domain over the dead haha
Batfam become really concerned watching Phantom fight because “if he has time travel powers why doesn’t he avoid getting hit every time he can” and get worried phantom is purposefully letting himself get hurt
Danny in all honesty is just vibin the entire time while the batfam is going crazy at every sliver of info they get about danny because like
okay hes a time traveler thats established they got over that
This guy whos somehow been able to stop and rehabilitate rouges (ghosts) in his town is 15??
he may be the kindest most self destructive kid they've ever met like who immediately agrees to help people who were trying to capture and interogate him because he 'thinks we are better than the last billionaire who did this' what the FUCK
Oh yeah and they find out as a bonus in the end that his normal unpowered form he is a teen with black hair and blue eyes (bruce no no dont do it dont--)
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Bruce is losing his mind
Okay so at the start of this there’s an unknown vigilante (danny) that Batman tends to bump into. Except Batman isn’t sure what he is.
Every time they run into each other Batman can tell there should just be a person beside him but before he gets a glimpse and opens his eyes to empty fresh air.
A vigilante that can vanish before their very eyes?
What do the bats think about this?
They think this vigilante can control time and is doing that to sneak out of their gaze.
Now here’s where the funny part comes in
Bruce goes on a wild hunt to search for the vigilante with a plan. To make them turn back time so that he can save his son.
The problem with this?
Danny is not a time traveler most days–scratch that he's not one at all. He can save his son Jason though, in fact he wants to, it’s just he needs to figure out a way to do this whilst not blowing his cover that he is the goddamn ghost king.
So he pretends that he does have time powers and that he just… uh… needs a minute to figure them out… yeah that!
Cue Batfam getting progressively more worried about Danny because ‘if he could turn back time—why doesn’t he avoid those hits?’
They all kinda think Danny is like purposefully hurting himself so now Danny is forced to eat breakfast with them and sleep at their manor.  I mean he’s confused at why they always look so worried about something but he’ll make sure Batman’s son gets home soon! Plus the rich people temporary-living-situation without all the ‘I want to adopt you’ billionaire bullshit is pretty sweet!!
(somewhere in the ghost zone jason is tearing up laughing at the batfam as they struggle to not burst into flames trying to figure out danny-- like for christs sake they think the ghost king is an american doctor who and are trying to get him to spill where his tardis is)
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umbrellacam · 2 days
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Tales of the Teen Titans #53 - Dick and Kory vs. Donna and Terry; very cute doubles match inside Titans Tower
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Batman (Vol. 1) #468 - Tim practicing against a ball machine at Wayne Manor. Bizarrely, he's shown playing both left- and right-handed in different panels (but primarily left). Artist mistake Ambidextrous Tim evidence?!
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deathbydibs · 2 years
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If the Waynes had a family reality show like the Kardashians, they would use the same tropes.
A crime alert went off and Jason needs to slip off unseen? Tim and Damian are instantly at each other's necks with DIck trying to separate them and Jason walks away with his hands up.
Bruce is constantly "getting lost" in his manor because he's in the Batcave and poor Brucie, he can't keep his house straight.
Dick and Cass avoid the camera like Kanye, except for when Steph comes over and makes Cass do fake drama scenes with her (they're the backup for when Tim or Damian need to go).
There's a running gag to try and catch Alfred when he's not expecting it. The viewers' favorite moment is when the crew "caught" Alfred and Alfred "accidentally" spilled hot soup all over them out of "surprise".
Whoever is off patrol for the week has to keep the cameras the most distracted, which results in Jason reciting poetry or reading classics to the cameras (the fangirls loved that one), Damian making them help volunteer at animal shelters, Dick leading them on wild goose chases around the manor playing find the Bruce, and Tim arguing ethics with Barbara.
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puppetmaster13u · 7 months
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Tags are from @phoenixcatch7's Kintsukuroi post
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And it reminded me of a question/idea I had when thinking about things like Batman Beyond and all the future timelines, dark or otherwise. Because like, what would happen if the dolls got attached. Like before Bruce, before his family, they haven't been used, they've been rotting away in the tunnels, in the depths of the caves sitting half broken and unnused. So what happens if his body, his human body, starts breaking down. We all know that Bruce wouldn't, couldn't, stop being Batman. Honestly he's more Batman than Bruce most times as time goes on even outside that. At first he's only out at night, at Patrol outside an odd hour or two training and helping the kids. But then the Justice League forms and now he's using the Patriarch more and more outside of Gotham on top of his own usual schedule. So what if one morning, he wakes up, and it's not in his human body. In fact, he can't even feel it any more.
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soulless-bex · 7 months
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my favorite part about a potential “bruce wayne adopts percy jackson” type of crossover is that he gets to attend galas, and thus potentially meet rachel and piper early on
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solarmorrigan · 2 months
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💘 for the writing game!
Hello! I definitely have to thank you for this prompt because I think it might be my favorite of all the fills I got to write for this meme (although I maybe got a little carried away) <3
Call this one a modern AU, probably. CW: emotional abuse, briefly mentioned homophobia, Steve just has a shitty family
💘 fake relationship / mutual pining / dared to kiss
Prompt from this list
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So Eddie’s maybe been laying it on a little thick.
That’s his excuse, anyway.
It’s just – it’s possible he’s gotten a little carried away; while the idea had been for him to accompany Steve for moral support to the annual three days of torture that are his visits home for Christmas, Eddie’s priorities had shifted a little with the last phone call he’d overheard Steve taking from his mom.
Something-something-I hope you’ve found someone to bring home with you, Steven-something-something-your cousin already has a baby on the way-something-something-such a disappointment to see you alone, Steven-something-something.
Steve had looked so small and sad after talking to her, the way he always does after talking to her, and Eddie wishes his parents’ approval (or lack thereof) didn’t hold such a sway over Steve, not when they don’t deserve that kind of respect, but he also gets it – family is complicated. So instead, Eddie offers Steve a way to shove his parents’ faces in it.
Instead of showing up in a strictly platonic, friendly-like capacity, he offers to play Steve’s boyfriend for the holiday.
And since Steve is the same brand of crazy as Eddie (even if he buries it better), he accepts.
So from the moment they pull up in front of the Harrington house the morning of December twenty-fourth, Eddie plays the doting boyfriend to a tee. He holds Steve’s hand, he kisses him on the cheek, he snuggles up to him on the sofa; he plays nice with Steve’s homophobic grandfather, and is only a little snarky with Steve’s patronizing uncle, and talks Steve up every chance he gets.
So yes, he’s laying it on a little thick, but Steve’s family should think he has a partner who adores him.
Because Steve deserves a partner who adores him.
(Because Eddie does adore him. Which is – well, that’s probably part of the problem.)
It doesn’t work as well as Eddie had hoped it would, in the end. Steve’s family can’t fault him for being “pathetically single” anymore, but they can pick him apart in literally every other respect – and they do.
He takes it like a pro, letting the nasty, pointed comments roll off him, smooth and brittle as glass, never causing a scene or biting back, because it’s Christmas and apparently this is just how they celebrate.
(They mostly ignore Eddie, acting like he’s beneath them, which has Steve sending apologetic glances his way the whole day, like Eddie is the one who needs an apology when Steve is the one being vivisected by his family.)
Steve just holds in whatever he’s feeling until they’ve retired for the night, up in the guest room that used to be his room, that his mom had apparently barely waited until he’d moved out to start converting.
He holds it in and holds it in until the door shuts behind them and he all but collapses on the edge of the bed, crumpling in on himself like the ugly plaid duvet is crumpling underneath him, with his shoulders curved in and his face covered and his chest heaving with what are maybe supposed to be calming, deep breaths but are definitely not working, because the stress is still coming off him in waves.
And like Eddie said: he’s maybe gotten a little carried away with his role, but it just feels completely normal to go right to Steve, to curl his arms around him and pull him in close and remind him that his family’s opinions aren’t worth shit and that Steve is so good, and–
And when Steve uncovers his face, a little blotchy and pulling tight with the effort not to let any tears flow free, it just feels completely normal to press a kiss to his cheek, and another to the corner of his mouth, and another to his lips, all in quick succession, all soft and reverent and reassuring.
Eddie freezes the moment he’s pulled back. The moment he realizes what he’s just done.
“Eddie,” Steve murmurs into the still air between them, “there’s… no one watching right now.”
You don’t have to do this, he means.
“I–” Eddie’s voice gets caught up in his throat, because his brain is screaming at him to play it off, to tell Steve that he just got carried away, got too into the role – but his heart, noisy fucker that it is, has different ideas. “I… maybe haven’t been faking as much as I said I was. Or, like– at all.”
“Oh, thank god,” Steve breathes, and then he’s pushing back in for another kiss, his mouth eager and warm and perfect against Eddie’s.
And the next two days aren’t going to be any less stressful, spent around a flock of hungry vultures masquerading as people, but Eddie figures that if nothing else, at least one good thing will have come from the holiday.
He tilts his head to deepen the kiss and Steve opens up beneath him, anticipating him like they’ve been doing this for ages, and – yeah, Eddie decides.
One very, very good thing.
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soranatus · 8 months
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Diana in episode 97
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it’s the finest champagne vs room temp tap water
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the-sprog · 1 year
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I see we're talking body swaps 👀
Justice League collective body swaps are GREAT. I know people go for Batman for who to swap Cap with. And I see you, I love you, but I raise you: one of the sidekicks.
My first instinct was to say Robin because this is what I imagined:
The Cap's powers are not his body's they're Billy's. Billy is the one they were bestowed upon. So what if the powers go with him? And his body reverts back to his child self?
I am a devoted "Cap's look is self actualizing. He looks like what he believes a hero should look like, and as a kid that was his dad" but also mixed w aspects of themselves. Which means Billy ending up in Damian's body which immediately transforms to make him look like what Damian imagines a hero looks like.
And the League find themselves in front of a darker skinned Nightwing.
Billy has some explaning to do. And Batman is not ready to get hit w a dose of angst.
Fuck I want to write it now.
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striveattemptfail · 7 months
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Steph, Tim, and Damian hanging out | Batman: Wayne Family Adventures #9 vs #103
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welcometogrouchland · 8 months
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The fact that no one across all of DC fandom (as far as I can tell) has mined the beautiful comedic potential that is the night and day difference between Tim and Damians current canonical love interests
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aloha-obi · 1 year
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HC that Dick spent most of his early years just following Bruce wherever he went- like he goes on all business trips to foreign countries and does his schoolwork (he’s homeschooled/private tutoring til at least high school) in Bruce’s office. He’s occasionally seen doing increasingly ridiculous stunts in the background of Bruce’s zoom calls. One time B just left the room and put a 10 year old Dick in charge for the rest of the meeting. The kid closed a business deal, declared a corporate wide policy for paid birthdays off and organized a bring your dog to work day. When meetings become too boring B puts himself on mute and plays catch with Dick until someone actually has something worth saying. And everyone remembers but it’s taboo to bring up that time Bruce got (accidentally) blasted in the face with a football while discussing budget cuts
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Jason hangs these up around Gotham city and you can't convince me otherwise:
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xysidhequeen · 1 year
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Me: Let me just write a cute little Danny Phantom x DC crossover on my phone
The Phandom: We love give us moar
Me: Lol wut
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