Tumgik
#Im also a lot more interested in living cats
bonefall · 7 months
Note
Are you not keeping Silverstream's cameo from Firestar's SE in His BB!SE?
It's not that I don't appreciate the scene from canon, it's that it really doesn't fit BB. Spottedleaf is also getting her hauntings removed; I don't entirely appreciate the canon vibe where there's constant "fanservice" of these TPB favorites.
Like, it's nice that Silvs supports him, but in BB a lot of cats do. BB!Bluestar even says something on purpose knowing it's going to piss Firestar off and convince him to storm off, lmao. I don't think it's neccesary to have a bunch of angels chase after him to tell him that he's cool after that.
I'm more interested in giving that time to SkyClan itself, or Brokenstar and Firestar's dynamic and discussions, or even operational time in ThunderClan before they leave.
If anything I'd rather Silverstream advise Graystripe after Firestar leaves and the deputy, Longtail, gets blinded. Have Graystripe display that he can be a capable wiseman and leader, by following his heart. Have a few sparse but meaningful omens that Cinderpelt helps to interpret.
71 notes · View notes
h00f · 2 years
Text
woah, hi! it’s been a while!
i’ve just finished another year of college, and i think i want to try taking my blog back and using it for my own enjoyment! i’m going to start posting more art i’ve been making, but also reblogging things! and sharing thoughts! ive really, really missed being able to do that, so i’m starting it again now! no more fear :)
i just posted a piece from my last semester, and i will probably put up some more later tonight and tomorrow! hopefully even reblogging things here again!!
i hope you’re all doing well, and ily!
#if i havent replied to you i am still deeply sorry. i have a very hard time talking to people these days; especially digitally#reminds me of bad times. so i will just be posting for now until i can do that again! i hope you can forgive me#today i had to take one of my cats to the emergency vet. i might lose my house soon but i’m happy to be making art again. it will be ok!#anyways hi! this is soup! i’m one of jayson’s alters!#back in 2020 i had a really really bad time. and my brain fractured more than it was before#and now i’m a lot of people! but we work together and my life is fairly happy these days!#i want to learn robotics and how to 3D model; im interested in metal casting and prop making too!#i draw lots but never finish anything. sketchbook pics will have to do for now#im not really writing this to anybody; it’s just been really hard and i miss the comfort of speaking my mind. and this is my blog!!#so i will be apologetic no longer!! i’m going to shitpost and reblog funny memes and post art i’m proud of#and i hope you all will join me for this new era!#and a new text post tag too because i’m tired of thinking nobody cares! bc they do 💛#souptxt#oh and if ur curious.. theres about 15 of us? youll probably see the variety. my ocs came to life and live in my head STORYTIME GONE WRONG!!#LAST THING: IM A SCULPTURE MAJOR NOW………#so i make statues but ALSO ive been making stuffies! and prop masks! well just the one ok but still#also? i work as a baker and it’s actually… really nice. it’s good to like the labor i put in!#i will send u pretzels if u ask nice enough
12 notes · View notes
altruistic-meme · 2 years
Text
im :( bc jj keeps meowing and i don't know why so i don't know what he needs or what i can do to help him
5 notes · View notes
shigayokagayama · 1 year
Text
incomplete list of weird/interesting manga-anime discrepancies
-you know the bit where they break into the girls highschool in episode 2? yea thats chapter 56. spliced into the middle of chapter 4. its supposed to go before the bit with the ghost family as a lead up to the mogami arc with mob starting to consider evil spirits as just as much “people” as living humans are. all things considered its kind of weird how well it fits its anime placement
-ritsu in the manga gets introduced in the same chapter as teru. you dont see mobs family at all for the first few chapters. infact i dont think his parents appear until like. chapter 25????? every interaction you see between mob and any of his family is completely made up for the anime
-in the manga during the claw arc instead of reigen sending them away all the lackeys just stood there awkwardly during the fight w the scars fdnjksndkjgnd
-mogami arc got GUTTED my god. the part where the fake psychics tried to murder minori got removed, shinras role in the arc got reduced to basically nothing, they move mogamiland ritsu to a bridge like 50 feet away instead of having him walk right over mob, mob only gets beat up like twice, the cat lives, the boxcutter bit is totally removed, the fight with the spirits is made a lot more abstract and less graphic. like im glad this one took the hit instead of the separation arc bc i cant imagine that arc ever being effective as one episode but wow.
-putting the “mob finding his family dead” thing at the end of the episode instead of in the middle of a chapter where it originally was was an objectively hilarious move
-rip the scene of teru outsmarting all three claw guys and saying “say old man have you ever been tortured before” unfortunately all scenes of teru being competent are not plot relevant and must die. also teru can make shadow clones
-hey remember those weird satellite people in claw keeping the viewer updated on where all the characters were in that infinite arc?
-mob with a gun.
Tumblr media
-mob getting briefly knocked out while fighting toichiro and dimple possessing him then getting kicked out was replaced w toichiro just throwing him out the window or somethhing???
-toichiro saying that he only kept the super five around as spare batteries and draining serizawas power getting cut was a personal affront to me
-every single emotion mob cycled through in the anime got a 100% meter. the kid was super emotionally unstable in that fight
-that old man whos house they went to whos wraith made everyone asleep that they exorcised? yea they anime team made that up. they never went to his house in the manga, he just went to spirits and such for a shoulder massage
-manga reigen got 0 money for helping the yokai dude. it wasnt on the table. also most of the stuff he was saying was lifted from a video game serizawa played which he pointed out. also serizawa thought getting arrested was a type of spell
-takenakas general meanness was significantly toned down manga takenaka was a huge bitch
-in general the alien arc was a lot funnier in the manga? like the scene where reigen crashes they had reached a dead end on an extremely narrow path and were driving in reverse while tome and takenaka were screaming at each other in the back and inukawa was 5 seconds from snapping and killing everyone in the car. these might be my favorite pages in the entire manga they as so fucking funny
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
-originally when tome said she wouldnt keep climbing reigen suggested mob carry her with telekinesis (which horrified her) and mob said he was too motion sick to use his powers (obvious lie) but could carry her instead which got her to get up
-mezato asking mob to sign a t shirt for the psycho helmet cult in exchange for relationship advice got cut
-i cry every day that the sequence of ???% waking up didnt get animated it set a very different tone than the anime did. the anime was like. slow build up of dread. the manga was immediately bone deep horror i was literally sitting in my room yelling “WHAT???” over and over again at my computer as i clicked through it
-shigeo and mob conversation cut down significantly, all the references to the body improvement club being mob making a new self rather than embracing who he really is and being scared that all the friends hes made wouldnt like the real him removed </3
-the scene where reigen takes his shoes off is made a lot less somber and depressing. it feels less like “oh he knows hes going to die” and more like. triumphant? in the anime
-100% shigeo kageyama is an anime addition they added specifically to ruin my “the first time we see mob 100% is to fight dimple and the last time is to stop himself from fighting dimple” observation
-anime teru generally seems like hes in a better place than manga teru? manga teru seems very melancholy and like he doesn’t really know what to do with his life or his place in the world (which seems to put shigeo off) but anime teru is like wanna go shopping ^_^ *sips tea happily*
-manga shigeo deliberately threw the cake directly in reigens face and my fury over them making this ambiguous will last until i am dead
1K notes · View notes
jakeshands · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
teeth
Tumblr media
pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader
synopsis: if you had known that talking to sunghoon at a club would lead to watching him kill the people you love, would you still talk to him?
genre: thriller (?), strangers to lovers
featuring: enhypen, yunjin, sakura, and chaewon of lsfm, yeonjun of txt, winter of aespa.
warnings: death. lots of death, murder scenes that arent graphic but still descriptive, lots of mentions of blood, attempted sexual assault, mentions of sexual assault, physical abuse, mentions of stalking, sunghoon and all of enhypen are literally murderers so… profanity, toxic relationship lol, sunghoon possessive as hell he’s crazy, sunghoon punches yeonjun a couple times, mentions of a knife. lmk if i missed anything!
word count: 18.5k
author’s note, jakehands comeback and its with an 18k psychotic murderer sunghoon fic. blame enhypen’s concept film and daphne. this is heavily unedited so please ugnore any mistakes idk if i can be bothered to read through this. also PLEASE read the warnings. please im begging you. also i call winter by her real name “minjeong” in thjs fic because…actually idk why. i just wrote it like that. u will also see many cameos of other idols that arent included in the featured and the reason for that is bcs the featured people are more Important and have dialouge! anyway. enjoy😍 and Read The Warnings.
Tumblr media
You weren’t a frequent partygoer. You often preferred staying at home and watching whatever videos popped up on your Youtube Recommended. You usually watch Youtube video after Youtube video before you end up passing out with your phone reaching the 20% battery warning. You found comfort in the familiarity of your Youtube algorithm. But going to clubs? That was a whole other side of the world you didn’t want to touch.
How unfortunate it was, for you, to have a friend like Huh Yunjin. She was everything you weren’t; popular, friendly, a social butterfly, and a total partygoer -- if there was a party nearby, Yunjin was there. She loved parties, she loved alcohol, and she loved making out with girls and boys. Yunjin also enjoyed dragging you to said parties.
So, there you were. Standing in a club with Yunjin to your left and a girl named Sakura to your right. You had only met her a couple of minutes ago, but you were already enjoying her company. She had big eyes, kind of like the cat you had when you were younger. Her smile was extremely pretty so it was no wonder Yunjin always tried her hardest to make Sakura smile.
Sakura was in her last year of college. Soon, thanks to Jessica Day, she’ll have a teaching degree. Sakura was fun to talk to, and Yunjin made sure to include you in any conversation she had with a new face, but you still felt awkward and out of place in a club full of drunk college students clearly having the time of their lives.
“Didn’t you hear?” Sakura exclaims next to you. She was talking to Kim Chaewon. You know of her -- softball captain, an SM Town model, and she moves through guys quicker than you expected.
“Hear what?”
“They found Jaehyun’s body,” Sakura says.
You find yourself more interested in Sakura and Chaewon’s conversation than the one Yunjin was trying to insert you in with another one of her friends named Somi. Jaehyun was the soccer team’s captain for your college. He was also in his final year, and he was getting ready to lead the soccer team to victory at the upcoming championship in a few months. Last week, Jaeyun went missing.
“They found his body?” Chaewon gasps. “Where?”
“Down by the lake,” Sakura responds.
Chaewon gasps again. This eggs Sakura on, her voice dropping and you strain to hear the words she says over the loud booming music filling the club. “He was stabbed twenty-one times,” is all you could hear Sakura say.
You stand straight and push yourself away from the wall you were leaning against. “I’m going to the bathroom,” you tell Yunjin, ducking to whisper it into her ear.
“Oh!” Her untoned blonde hair shifts as she faces you, “do you want me to come with? It’s probably better if I come with --”
“I’ll be okay.”
Yunjin narrows her eyes. “Are you sure? You do know about the recent murders, right?”
You give Yunjin a smile. “I’ll be okay.”
Yunjin purses her lips. “Call me if you get into any trouble, okay?”
You roll your eyes and back away from Yunjin and her little group of friends. “Okay, mom.”
You push your way through the crowded dance floor to reach the other side of the club. Yunjin was telling you all about this club on the ride over. It was a popular club, usually filled up to its maximum capacity fifteen minutes after the club’s doors opened. You could attest to that statement as the line you saw when you arrived at the club was already pretty long.
Since the club was a popular hotspot for young adults, every face you saw was a familiar face. People like Choi Yeonjun and Hwang Hyunjin, two of the most popular dancers on your campus, had taken over the dance floor. Girls and guys flocked to the pair of them like magnets and as you watched them move effortlessly on the dance floor, you couldn’t help but wonder if they were exhausted.
Then, in the corner of the club, tucked away in a booth with cocktails in hand, sat Yuna and Lia, their eyes peering out into the crowded club and giggling as they conversed with each other in between taking sips of their drinks. They were clearly gossiping as their eyes focused on Mark Lee flirting with Choi Yena.
You duck into the hallway leading you to the bathroom. Here, it was less crowded and the music sounded further away. You could finally hear yourself breathe, and you could hear your footsteps. Pushing open the door to the female’s bathroom, you’re met with the sight of a small line beginning to form.
You smile at the girls in front of you and take your place beside them, resting on the wall beside the hand dryer. Fishing out your phone, you text Yunjin to let her know you reached the bathroom safely, before switching over to Candy Crush.
You’re able to get to a stall in no time, and as you exit the stall, feeling a bit lighter, you’re shoved to the side as a girl with her hand covering her mouth and her friends all rush into the stall. The sound of retching echoes around the bathroom. You step up to the sink and wash your hands when someone nudges your shoulder.
“Here,” Bae Sumin hands you her mascara. She’s friends with Yunjin, that’s how you know her. “You should probably retouch your mascara. Have you been wiping your eyes?”
You look in the mirror. Your mascara was slightly smudged and you smile at Sumin. “Oh, I didn’t realize.”
Sumin smiles. “Girls help girls.”
You hand Sumin back her mascara after touching up your eyelashes and you exit the bathroom, adjusting the length of your black cocktail dress so it covers more of your thighs when you bump into something hard.
You squeak and stumble back, raising your head to see a person standing in front of you. His eyes are dark and his face is hardened. Not a single emotion escapes from the male figure in front of you and your stomach drops. There’s a sinister aura clouding him and your heartbeat quickens. “S-sorry,” you stutter meekly, your eyes dropping to your feet.
“It’s okay,” his voice is warm. It contrasts his appearance; icy face, black clothes, and eyes that raise goosebumps. “You should look where you’re going next time. Especially in a club like this.”
You glance up and smile at the male in front of you. “I’ll remember that.”
“I should probably apologize as well,” the male says after some thought, “I’m in a bit of a rush so I didn’t see you. So, sorry, are you okay?”
Instead of your heart dropping to your gut, it begins to flutter.
Your cheeks redden. “Oh. I’m okay. Seriously. And you don’t need to apologize!”
There’s a whisper of a smile on the male’s face. “Alright. Enjoy the rest of your night, and stay safe.”
Your eyes follow the male as he rushes past you. “You too!” You call out, your heart racing.
After gaining no response, you compose yourself and step back out into the club. Everything is the same as it was before; Lia and Yuna gossiping in the corner, Mark flirting with Yena, and Yeonjun and Hyunjin owning the dance floor.
Yunjin makes eye contact with you as you approach the small space Yunjin and her friends occupy against the wall of the club. She beams as you and all the nervousness and awkwardness filling your body float away. Maybe going to clubs and partying wasn’t so bad.
—-
You groan and let your head drop onto the desk beneath you. The first lecture of the day just ended and even though you thought you were prepared for the course, this upcoming assignment proves how wrong you were. You would never be prepared for any of the assignments your creative writing class has.
Standing, you exit the classroom with your ears still ringing. After Yunjin had pulled you onto the dance floor, you found yourself dancing alongside Yeonjun. You allowed the older to put his hands on your hips as he guided you through the songs playing in the club and you found yourself having fun -- a lot more fun than you usually would have curled up on your bed watching Youtube video after Youtube video. As you think back to last night, you also remember the way your skin crawled with the feeling of someone watching you, but when you looked over your shoulder, you couldn’t see anyone.
Shuddering, you step into the sun and begin your brisk walk over to the cafe where you regularly meet up with Yunjin after lectures. It was probably nothing. Since you were having so much fun last night, maybe your brain had decided to try and drag you back down into the pits of distaste and regret of entering unknown territory.
Entering the cafe, you smile at the barista and join Yunjin at your usual table. She was hunched over a piece of paper in front of you, her eyebrows drawn together. “Why are you staring at the paper like that?” You ask, digging around in your shoulder bag.
“I’m writing lyrics,” Yunjin replies.
“With your mind?”
“I wish,” Yunjin groans, leaning back on the chair.
You giggle and power up your laptop. At the same time, the cafe door jingles open and a breeze rushes through the room. Someone laughs loudly and your attention is drawn to the group of boys entering the cafe.
Yunjin’s eyes widen and she sits straight in her chair. “No way. They come to this cafe too?”
You realize who the group of boys were -- Lee Heeseung, Park Jay, Sim Jake, and Park Sunghoon. They’re part of a larger group of seven. Often, whenever you mentioned the university you were attending to outsiders, immediately they thought of that group of seven. If your university was mentioned, seven names would be mentioned after.
You don’t know much about the group. They keep to themselves and never mingle outside of their small social circle. You don’t really see them around campus that much, but you are aware of how all of them excel in academics. You’re aware that Sim Jake is on the soccer team. You’re aware Lee Heeseung is on the ice hockey team, and you’re aware Park Sunghoon was a former figure skater.
Park Sunghoon.
Your eyes pass over the taller male and a realization strikes you. His handsome face; his cold aura; his silver hair and full lips -- you bumped into him at the club. You shrink in your seat and hang your head, muttering profanity.
Your cheeks flush when you think of his warm voice, and the gentle look in his eyes when he apologized. The contrasting nature of Sunghoon surprises you. You never thought someone with such a cold face would have such a warm voice -- a warm heart.
“Yunjin,” you lean across the table, your voice quiet. “I bumped into Sunghoon last night. In the club.”
Yunjin’s jaw drops. “You did?! Why didn’t you tell me? He didn’t hurt you, did he? Did he try to murder you?”
“Huh?” You were confused. “Why would he want to murder me?”
“You haven’t heard the rumors?” Yunjin asks.
“Jen, I only come to campus for my lectures,” you remind her.
“Right. Anyway, there’s a rumor going around that Sunghoon’s the one doing all the murders. People think he’s some kind of psychopath.”
You raise your eyebrows and glance over at the group of four. Jake and Sunghoon are grinning as they tease Jay who stands between them. “Psychopath?”
“Sunghoon was apparently seen with Jaehyun before he was reported missing,” Yunjin explains. “And apparently someone saw Sunghoon washing blood off his hands in a public bathroom a couple of nights back.”
You hum and sit back in your chair. “I don’t think it was Sunghoon. He apologized to me last night even though I bumped into him.”
Yunjin purses her lips but doesn’t say anything. You glance back over at the four boys and you immediately make eye contact with the topic of your conversation. Park Sunghoon’s staring back at you, his face is stoic, and your heart tremors. You attempt a hesitant smile and Sunghoon’s the first to look away.
—-
A week later you end up outside an unfamiliar house. Beside you, Yunjin is talking to a girl named Kazuha and you’re left alone to look up at the mansion-like house in front of you. People are still swarming in and out of the house and you begin to feel claustrophobic even though you haven��t entered the house.
“Jay’s house,” a voice says behind you. Turning around, you smile at Ryujin. Lia and Yeji are standing behind Ryujin, bickering with Seungmin and Hyunjin but you pay them no mind. “The first party he’s thrown in a month. His parents banned parties in their family vacation house because of the last party. His parents are out of town for the next month, though, so Jay’s going to throw all the parties he can.”
“This is their vacation home? Why do they need a vacation home in Seoul even though they live in Seoul?” You gaze back at the house in amazement.
“Rich people,” Ryujin responds. “Filthy rich.”
Yunjin reaches out and grabs your forearm. She exchanges a few words with Ryujin and then you’re being pulled into the house. It was loud and overcrowded and everywhere you looked there was alcohol. Yunjin has to practically shout to talk to you, and the flashing party lights force you to squint as you look at the person talking to you.
Sakura was by your side once more and Chaewon was also there. Chaewon greets you with a smile and immediately launches back into her conversation with Sakura. With help from Sakura, you ease into their conversation and Yunjin shoves a plastic cup of some strong alcohol into your hand. You’ve only taken a sip and the bitter taste that spilled down your throat was an uncomfortable taste.
“Jaehyun’s death has been ruled a homicide,” Sakura was saying, deeply interested in Jaehyun’s case. “The police don’t have any leads, though, so it’s basically a cold case.”
“How do you know all this stuff?” You ask Sakura.
Sakura smiles and taps her ears. “I hear everything. I’m easy to miss in a room.”
“She’s like a mouse,” Chaewon giggles.
“A mouse draws attention,” you point out. “No one likes mice.”
“I’m a fly on the wall, then,” Sakura cuts in. “Whatever I am, I’m a professional eavesdropper and gossiper.”
“Yunjin was telling me about the Park Sunghoon rumor,” you decide to test the waters. Surely Sakura and Chaewon know more about these rumors than Yunjin. “Is he really a psychopath? Did he really kill Jaehyun?”
“Park Sunghoon,” Chaewon says, rolling her eyes. “I grew up with him.”
“He is a very cold person,” Sakura muses, sipping whatever was in her plastic cup.
“Sunghoon was an odd boy,” Chaewon continues. “I don’t think he has emotions. Or empathy. His sister broke her ankle and he forced her to walk home.”
“Really?” You gasp. Maybe, Park Sunghoon was a cold person with a cold heart.
“Even some of the lecturers are afraid of him,” Sakura says, her tone all-knowing. “That’s why he easily passes hard classes -- they’re all too afraid to fail him.”
“Sunghoon liked killing things when he was younger,” Chaewon says, scowling. “I caught him stabbing a large rat and then opening up that rat.” Chaewon shudders. “The look on his face when he caught me still haunts me to this day.”
“Sunghoon also has a temper,” Sakura adds, “I’ve heard from people he’s done group projects with, that he threatened them all if they didn’t do his part of the project for him.”
You begin to feel queasy. The Park Sunghoon you’re hearing about from the people around you isn’t the Park Sunghoon you encountered all those nights ago. The Park Sunghoon you encountered was warm. He has a warm voice, and his apology was warm.
You down the rest of the alcohol in your plastic cup even though you don’t like the taste. “I need to pee,” you excuse yourself from Chaewon and Sakura and begin walking aimlessly. It would be nice if you were able to find a bathroom, but this house seems to be endless -- everywhere you walk, there are people dancing and kissing. Everywhere you walk, there is alcohol and familiar faces.
Eventually, you find some stairs and make your way up to the second floor. You pad down the hallway, the music still present but a lot more muffled. Aimlessly, you twist and turn through the maze of a hallway and eventually end up in an empty hallway.
Leaning against the wall behind you, you hang your head in your hands. All you can think about is the way Sunghoon’s eyes slightly softened when he apologized to you, and the gentle way he spoke to you when he apologized. You felt like you were going insane.
You hear quick footsteps approaching your empty hallway and you stiffen, your heart racing beneath your ribs. A familiar face rounds the corner and your face softens into a smile. Lee Jaeho was in your sociology class. He was kind to you, and always helped you study for the upcoming exams.
Jaeho seemed to be a bit dazed though. He wasn’t walking straight and when he saw you, a bright smile broke out across his face. His words slur together when he greets you and pulls you into a hug, and you know he’s off his face drunk.
“I was looking for you!” Jaeho slurs as he pulls out of the hug, still gripping to your shoulders. “I was told you were in the bathroom but I couldn’t find you! I got so worried, Y/N.”
“Ah, I’m sorry,” you apologize with a gentle smile.
“It’s okay,” Jaeho grips your hand in his and pulls you down the hallway.
“Where are we going, Jaeho?”
“We need some privacy.”
Your heart races. “Oh. Why?”
Jaeho pulls open a door and pushes you inside. The door closes and Jaeho rests his back against the door. Your hands sweat and you rub them against your skirt. “Jaeho?” You ask, unsure. “Why are we in a room?”
“Y/N,” Jaeho sounds sure of himself, even if he’s slurring his words. “I like you. I’ve liked you ever since we first talked in Freshman year.”
“Oh,” you feel speechless, “thank you for telling me, Jaeho.”
“You like me back, don’t you?”
“Oh,” you feel taken aback.
“I see the way you look at me.” Jaeho takes a step closer and you take a step back.
“What way do I look at you, Jaeho?”
Jaeho smiles but it’s a different smile. The smell of alcohol invades the room and your breath hitches. “You look at me like you want me, Y/N. I want you to.”
The back of your knees hit the bed behind you and you fall back onto the bed. Jaeho hovers over you and you feel helpless. “Jaeho,” you don’t know what to say. “I don’t like you like that. I think you’re a nice friend --”
“Don’t fucking say that shit,” Jaeho growls. Within a few seconds, his whole demeanor changes and your helplessness turns into fear. He pushes you further back onto the bed and climbs on top. Instantly, your fight or flight response kicks in.
You squirm about on the bed as Jaeho tries to keep you still. Your legs kick up and you shake your head from side to side. “Let go of me, Jaeho,” you beg, your eyes burning.
“Stop moving,” Jaeho hisses, his hands squeezing your arms tightly.
You cry out. “Jaeho --”
One of Jaeho’s hands curls around your throat and you can’t breathe. You attempt to gasp for air but it's pointless. Your legs still kick and your free hand tries to pull Jaeho’s hand away from your throat. Your eyes burn and tears begin to trail down the side of your face.
“You’re such a fucking bitch,” Jaeho groans.
Jaeho loosens his hand from restricting your right hand to the bed and you take this second of freedom to slap Jaeho across the face. Since he’s drunk, his motor movement is unbalanced. His grip loosens around your throat in shock and you use both of your hands to push Jaeho away.
You scramble off the bed and race over to the door.
“Y/N --” Jaeho calls your name. He grabs your wrist as you go to tug open the door.
“Let go of me,” you hiss, anger overtaking the fear.
“Y/N -- I’m sorry -- I --” Jaeho stumbles over his apology, the alcohol influencing his words and actions.
Turning back around, you see red and backhand Jaeho across the face. His head turns sharply to the side and his cheek begins to bleed -- the rings on your fingers must’ve cut into his skin from how hard you backhanded him.
Jaeho turns to look at you and fear replaces the anger you were feeling previously. With a racing heart, you tug open the door and race down the hallway, Jaeho calling your name as he follows you out. Tears stream down your face as you try to find your way back to the party. Maybe you should’ve asked Yunjin to take you to the bathroom.
Impulsively, you open a door leading to another room and dive inside, shutting the door behind you. You slump against the wall beside the door and cover your mouth with your hand as Jaeho goes charging past the room. Your chest rises and falls rapidly and you can’t stop the tears.
You don’t know how long you spend in the dark room, your hand pressed to your mouth to muffle your whimpers, when the door opens suddenly. Your hand falls away from your mouth and you whimper as you fall away from the wall.
The silence is loud and you slowly look up, hoping who you see isn’t Jaeho but Yunjin.
Park Sunghoon stands above you, frowning. “Y/N?”
Your hands cover your face as you break out into sobs. Relief floods your body. You’re glad that it wasn’t Jaeho who opened that door, but Sunghoon -- who is perceived as a psychopathic murderer and you should probably feel even more afraid, but you don’t. Because facing a suspected murderer is better than being assaulted at the hands of a friend.
Hands gently pull your own away from your face. A finger tilts your chin up and you’re looking at Sunghoon again. He’s crouching in front of you, his eyes soft. His thumbs press against your cheeks and brush away the tears streaming down your cheeks. You feel warm in Sunghoon’s presence.
“Y/N,” Sunghoon says your name again. “What happened?” His voice is light. It’s not like Jaeho’s tough and demanding tone.
You only shake your head and cry some more in response. You can still feel the phantom squeeze of Jaeho’s hands on your throat.
The fingers curled around your chin tighten ever so slightly. “Y/N,” Sunghoon’s voice is deeper and a bit demanding -- like Jaeho’s voice moments before, but you don’t feel scared, you still feel safe. “Tell me what happened.”
You inhale sharply and focus on Sunghoon’s face. His eyes are no longer soft, instead, they’re the familiar darkness you saw when you first met him. His lips are screwed into a straight line. His face is cold, but his hands and his heart are warm. “Jaeho,” you whisper. “He --” gently, your hand brushes against your neck. “He strangled me.”
Sunghoon doesn’t say anything. His hands slip away from your face and he rises to his feet. “Your friends are worried about you, Y/N. Let’s go back to the party.” You take his outstretched hand and stand. You wipe away the last of your tears and follow Sunghoon out of the room.
“Did Jaeho do anything else?” Sunghoon asks. You have to quicken your pace to keep up with Sunghoon’s long strides. He easily moves through the house which reminds you that he’s friends with the owner of this house.
You don’t say anything in response to Sunghoon. Should you tell him or not? Would he believe you or not? Would he excuse Jaeho’s actions by saying he was drunk and drunk people don’t know what they’re doing?
“Y/N,” Sunghoon interrupts your thoughts. “I asked you a question.”
“He didn’t do anything else,” you say quietly.
Sunghoon huffs and grips your shoulders, forcing you to stop walking. The two of you stand in the middle of the dark hallway, Sunghoon’s face close to yours as he bends down to meet your eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Why do you care so much?” You retort, curiosity finally appearing through the fear you felt. Why did Sunghoon care so much about you? And what Jaeho did to you? You don’t even know Sunghoon. You just know he attends your college and hangs out with six other boys. (You also know about the rumors, but you don’t care for them because Sunghoon’s shown he’s not the psychopathic murderer the rumors say he is.)
“Because no man should ever lay his hands on a woman,” was Sunghoon’s response. “So, I’ll ask you again. Did Jaeho do anything else?”
Sunghoon’s eyes shine with intent -- he meant what he said. You find some kind of relief looking into Sunghoon’s eyes, you would have someone on your side. “Jaeho, he -- he said he liked me, and then he --” you break off your sentence and shrug. You can’t seem to force the bitter words out of your mouth. He almost forced me to have sex with him.
“I understand,” Sunghoon says in response. He turns away, but you catch his hand.
“You won’t tell anyone, will you?” You ask Sunghoon.
“Do you want me to?”
You shake your head. “Please don’t tell anyone. Don’t tell my friends. Can you keep this between us? Please?” Your eyes are wide as you beg Sunghoon, and you grip his hand tightly. You really don’t want anyone finding out about what happened between you and Jaeho.
Sunghoon smiles softly. “I’ll take it to my grave, Y/N.”
“Thank you, Sunghoon,” you sigh in relief.
“There’s no need to thank me yet, Y/N,” Sunghoon hums. “Which Jaeho are we talking about, by the way?”
“Lee Jaeho,” you descend the stairs leading to the party with Sunghoon. The music sounds louder than it was before. “He was in our Freshman sociology class.”
“I hated that class,” Sunghoon grumbles.
You giggle and Sunghoon’s eyes light up.
—-
The morning after, you exit your lecture with your phone buzzing away in your pocket. Jaeho had been trying to contact you all day, and now that it was late afternoon, you were beginning to grow tired of his spam messages.
Scowling, you reach into your pocket and pull out your phone. Jaeho’s messages fill up your lock screen and as you scroll through all his messages to try and find a worthwhile notification, the glare of the sun fades away.
“Y/N.”
Looking up, Sunghoon is standing in the way of the sun beaming down on you. “Sunghoon,” you were surprised to find the male outside your lecture. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you,” Sunghoon responds easily. “Where are you going now?”
“To the cafe on campus. I usually meet up with Yunjin there after all our lectures are finished,” you explain to Sunghoon as he falls into step beside you.
“I’ll walk you there,” Sunghoon says, smiling softly.
Your heart flutters.
“Has Jaeho tried to talk to you?” Sunghoon asks.
Your smile is tight. “He’s been messaging me all day. It’s getting annoying.”
“Will you hear him out?”
“Fuck no. I’ll never forgive him for what he did, even if he was drunk.”
“Being drunk is no excuse, Y/N,” Sunghoon says.
You hum. “Yeah. How do you even know who I am, anyway?” You look at Sunghoon eagerly, the curiosity within you brimming. Ever since Sunghoon uttered your name last night, you had been curious -- how did Sunghoon know who you were? And why did he care this badly about you? It wasn’t like you were in the same circle as him. You’ve been holed up in your dorm for most of your college life, and the one time you go out to party, you somehow get involved with Park Sunghoon.
Sunghoon laughs like you just asked him an incredibly bizarre question. “Y/N, we had classes together freshman year. Don’t you remember?”
“Of course I remember!” You splutter, your cheeks heating up. “I didn’t expect you to remember.”
Sunghoon raises an eyebrow. “You’re not easy to forget, Y/N.”
It’s like you forget how to function. You’re not easy to forget. Who just says that? You can’t breathe and you can’t feel your heart beating. Your fingers feel numb and your stomach is an ocean of butterflies. And this is all because of Sunghoon. The so-called psychotic murderer.
“You can’t just say that, Sunghoon!” You exclaim, your cheeks heating up.
Sunghoon shrugs. “It’s true. You were the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen -- still the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”
(Sunghoon’s words were driving you crazy -- why? Because it’s been two years since your last relationship. Having someone talk about you like this is only furthering your growing infatuation with the taller, brooding boy.)
“I was always jealous whenever you talked to other guys.”
“Excuse me?” You were taken aback by this piece of news. Sunghoon was jealous? Back in freshman year?
“I wanted to be the one you talked to,” Sunghoon admits with ease. “I wanted all of your attention.”
You truly don’t know what to think. Sunghoon’s words are driving you crazy. There’s so much to take in. There’s so much to discover you probably won’t sleep at all tonight.
“Oh, we’re here,” Sunghoon doesn’t sound too happy. It’s a shame your heart feels the same way. You don’t want to leave Sunghoon’s side, but from the way Yunjin’s looking at you from inside the cafe, you won’t be allowed to ditch this hangout.
“Thank you for walking me, Sunghoon,” you say. “It was nice talking to you.”
“Likewise. Do you have my number?”
Seriously. Sunghoon never fails to surprise you.
“No.”
“Do you want my number?”
You pull out your phone in lieu of a response.
“Text or call me if you see Jaeho,” Sunghoon says, waving goodbye after you exchange numbers. “I’ll answer right away.”
You snort and Sunghoon frowns. “I’m serious, Y/N.”
You hate how his words warm you.
“See you around, Sunghoon.”
“Definitely,” Sunghoon grins and you step into the cafe, exhaling deeply.
—-
An alumnus of your university was found dead in the alleyway beside your dorm building. His name was Taeyong. You remember him as the senior that always vaped during his lectures. He was a nice guy, though, always ready to help out anyone who asked for help.
You can’t help but shiver every time you pass by the crime scene all taped up with yellow tape hindering anyone from entering the scene. It’s been a few days since Sunghoon walked you to the cafe -- that was also the day Taeyon was killed. His time of death was put at around 11:30 PM. His death has also been ruled as a homicide.
You’ve been texting Sunghoon often. Most of the texts are short and dry, but seeing Sunghoon’s text notifications amidst all of Jaeho’s makes your heart leap in excitement. Anything to do with Sunghoon sends your heart into overdrive after his smooth talking a couple of days back.
Other than Sunghoon’s texts brightening your day, you’ve been on edge walking back to your dorm in the late hours of the evening. You can’t help but feel like someone’s watching you walk back to your dorm. Your spine always tingles and your heartbeat is loud in your ears as you walk home. You don’t listen to music anymore, opting to stay alert in case you’re the next victim of whoever is killing the students who attend your university.
“You’re still talking to Sunghoon?” Yunjin asks, peering over your shoulder as you text Sunghoon while you were both at the cafe.
“Yep.”
“He’s a murderer, Y/N.”
You snort and glance at Yunjin. “It’s rumored he’s a murderer. I don’t understand why anyone would listen to what comes out of Minjeong’s mouth anyway. She’s always talking bullshit.”
“Y/N…” Yunjin sighs.
“I know,” you reply softly. “But I’m fine. Seriously. Sunghoon treats me nicely. You don’t have to be so afraid, Jen. I know you mean well, but can’t you trust me?”
“Fine,” Yunjin scowls. “But just so you know, I have an ‘I told you so’ ready.”
You grin. “Of course you do. I should probably get going, my shift starts soon.” You rise from your sit and wave goodbye to Yunjin as you exit the cafe. You work at a nearby convenience store, the owner of the convenience store was quite nice so you didn’t mind working there, but the shifts you got were sometimes not ideal.
Today, you had the five to ten shift. When you got there, you exchanged a few words with your coworker that was leaving and then you begin to serve the customers entering the store. Slowly, the amount of customers entering the exiting the store dies down and you begin to pass the time by playing games on your phone.
You’re so focused on the game you’re playing that you don't hear the familiar bell jingling to alert you to a new customer, nor do you hear voices loudly discussing what they wanted to buy. You curse under your breath as you fail the Candy Crush level once more, and someone clears their throat.
The familiar faces of Jay, Heeseung, and Jake all stare at you as a blush quickly rises to your cheeks. “Oh. Hi! Sorry about that,” you push your phone out of view and begin to scan their items. “Would you like a bag?”
“Sure,” Jay says.
It’s awkward as you scan their items.
“You’re Y/N, right?” Jay finally breaks the silence.
“Yeah.” You don’t know why your heart begins to race.
“Why are you involving yourself with Sunghoon?”
“Pardon?” You glance up at Jay, frowning.
“You’re aware of the rumors, right?” Jay asks with a shrug, “I just don’t know why you would hang around Sunghoon.”
You snort. “I think I should be the one asking you that. You’re his friends, after all.”
“Brothers,” Jake pipes up. “We’re brothers. We grew up together.”
“Oh,” you smile at Jake. “That’s cute.”
“Look,” Jay says, bringing your attention back to him. “All I’m saying is that you should be careful, Y/N.”
You ignore Jay and read out the total showing on your screen. “Are you trying to say there’s some truth to those rumors?” You ask as Jay searches for his wallet.
Jay looks at you for a long time. You begin to feel uneasy and your stomach swoops. With the way Jay’s looking at you, there must be some kind of truth to the rumors swirling about. Maybe Sunghoon is a murderer. Maybe you’re his next victim.
You try to play off the unease you feel. “Whatever. I’m my own person, I can make my own assumptions about people. I don’t appreciate people telling me who I should and shouldn’t talk to, or hang out with. Would you like your receipt?”
“Sure,” Jay holds his hand out. “Keep the change, though. I don’t need it.”
“Sure, whatever.” You hate how easily Jay got underneath your skin.
“Look, Y/N, just be careful, okay?” Jay says gently. “You have Sunghoon’s number, right?”
You nod your head.
“Don’t be afraid to call it. See you around.” Jay nods his head at you and turns around, leaving the store with Jake. Heeseung hangs back and turns to you, smiling lightly. “Could I have the change? Jay may not need it, but I do.”
“Sure,” you hand Heeseung the change.
“Jay means well,” Heeseung says, pocketing the change. “He’s just… overprotective.”
“I guess that’s understandable.”
“And, seriously, don’t hesitate to call Sunghoon when you need to escape a…sticky situation.” You watch as Heeseung’s face lights up while he talks and you feel as though you’re being left out of an inside joke.
“Heeseung,” Jake calls out, poking his head into the convenience store. “C’mon, we have things to do.”
“See you, Y/N.” Heeseung salutes you goodbye before exiting the store, leaving you all alone.
The three boys leave you alone with your thoughts for the rest of your shift. Your shift rushes by quickly, and before you know it, you’re exiting the convenience store into the windy night. Shuddering, you tug your coat closer and begin your walk back to your dorm.
Pulling out your phone, you shoot Yunjin a text to let her know you’re on your way home. After pocketing your phone, a hand reaches out and clamps over your mouth before pulling you into a nearby alley. Your shrieks are muffled by the hand and your arms are restrained as you’re pulled further into the alley.
You’re thrown onto the ground, your knees scraping the ground harshly, and your palms begin to sting. Huffing, you push your hair out of your face and look up to see Jaeho standing over you. Your eyes widen in fear and you struggle to stand. Your legs feel numb and your heart is racing at an incredible pace it makes you feel lightheaded.
“Jaeho?”
“Y/N,” Jaeho doesn’t sound happy. The tone of his voice sets you on edge and you immediately begin to search for a way out. “Why haven’t you been responding to me?”
You look back at Jaeho. “You pulled me into an alley to ask that?”
“Don’t play with me, Y/N,” Jaeho threatens. “If you scream no one will hear you.” He takes a step forward and you take a step back, hitting the cold brick wall.
“You’re a piece of shit, Jaeho, that’s why I wasn’t responding.”
Jaeho slaps you across the face. It stings and you take a deep, shuddering breath. Your hands curl into fists and you try to keep your emotions under control.
“How many more times do you want me to say sorry, Y/N? I was drunk, I wasn’t thinking straight -- I didn’t mean what I did that night. Why are you acting like such a bitch about it? You know you can reject me, right? I’m not going to make a big deal about it.”
“I’ve already rejected you, Jaeho,” you spit. “I did it the night you almost tried to have sex with me, and I’ve been doing it for the past few days by not responding to you. God, can’t you take the hint? I’m not interested. You’re so stupid.”
Jaeho takes a step back and holds up his hands. “I obviously don’t remember you rejecting me while I was drunk. But, thank you for finally giving me a clear rejection. Now, I’ll apologize once more. Sorry, Y/N. Can we be friends again?”
“Why the fuck would I want to be friends with a rapist and an abuser, Jaeho?”
“You fucking bitch --”
“Get away from me!” You shriek, using all your strength to push Jaeho back. He stumbles over the trash bags sitting behind him and there’s a loud whacking sound as his head makes contact with the edge of the large garbage container. Jaeho slumps to the ground, not moving.
You’re suspended in time. You stare at Jaeho’s lifeless body. Something weird simmers in your stomach and you contemplate turning and leaving Jaeho to rot away in this alley. A car backfiring sends the world spinning and you snap out of your daze.
“Holy shit. Fuck. Fuck. Jaeho?” You rush over to Jaeho and reach out to shake him. He flops around lifelessly. “This is so not funny, Jaeho. Fuck. Wake up!” After a minute of trying to shake Jaeho awake, you sit back on your heels and bury your head in your hands. ���Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” You repeat over and over.
Your hands shake as you pull out your phone. You open up Yunjin’s contact information but gnaw on your bottom lip as your finger hovers over the call button. You look back at Jaeho lying lifelessly in front of you, the side of his head bleeding profusely before you exit Yunjin’s contact and click on Sunghoon’s.
It only rings once.
“Y/N?”
“Oh my god. Sunghoon. I -- I need your help.”
“Y/N? Where are you?”
“Sunghoon, I think I just -- oh my god.”
“Y/N. Where are you?”
You break out into loud sobs. “I didn’t mean to do it. I swear, Sunghoon. I swear.”
“Y/N --”
“I’m down some alley,” you say between your sobs. “I don’t know where I am. Jaeho dragged me here.”
Sunghoon swears and you hear muffled voices. “Stay where you are, I’ll find you.” The call ends and you’re left alone with Jaeho’s lifeless body. You try to muffle your sobs and steady the beating of your heart but it doesn’t work as images of Jaeho hitting his head against the metal garbage container replay over and over.
“Y/N.” A voice shouts down the alleyway some minutes later. Then you hear footsteps rapidly hitting the ground and slowly, Sunghoon comes into view. “Y/N,” he says again, this time in relief.
Sunghoon pulls you up and cups your face gently. He wipes away your tears again and smooths out your hair. “What happened, Y/N? Are you hurt? Are you okay?” His rapid questions and the warm concern in his eyes make your head hurt. You just want to be in your dorm already, tucked beneath your blankets next to Yunjn.
“Sunghoon,” you whisper. “It was an accident. I didn’t mean to kill him.”
“What? Kill who?” Sunghoon’s hands grip your face tighter and he pulls you close. His whole demeanor changes after hearing your previous words.
“Behind you.”
Sunghoon turns and finally sees Jaeho’s body -- except, you see him sitting up. You gasp and break free from Sunghoon, crouching down beside Jaeho. He blinks a couple of times and glances around his surroundings as though he was trying to remember how he got here.
“Jaeho,” you cry out. “Oh my god I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to --”
Jaeho grabs your wrist tightly, a vicious sneer carved on his face. “You slut. Are you trying to kill me? Why would you fucking push me like that? You’re not getting away with this, Y/N.”
“No -- Jaeho -- I --”
“Y/N. Move away.”
Looking over your shoulder, you see Sunghoon staring down at both of you with a cold expression. A metal pipe dangles in his right hand.
“Sunghoon?”
“Move away,” he repeats, now looking at Jaeho.
You move to the side, Jaeho’s hand easily slipping away from your wrist.
“When did you get here?” Jaeho’s sneer falls off his face as Sunghoon corners him against the garbage container. Jaeho’s eyes flit over to you. “Did the fucking bitch call you? Of course she did. Y/N starts arguments she can’t finish because she’s pathetic. All bark no bite.”
Sunghoon crouches down in front of Jaeho and presses his fingers against the cut on the side of his head. Jaeho flinches. Pulling his fingers away, they’re covered in blood, and the smile that spreads across Sunghoon’s face chills you to the bone.
Slowly, Sunghoon licks Jaeho’s blood off his fingers. You can’t look away.
“What the fuck, man?” Jaeho exclaims.
Rising to his feet, the smile slips from Sunghoon’s face. He raises the metal pipe in his right hand and swings it through the air, whacking Jaeho in the head with it. The boy cries out and sprawls across the concrete, his hands coming up to clutch the side of his face.
Sunghoon doesn’t stop. He swings the metal pole through the air and hits Jaeho again. And again. This time, with two hands. Jaeho can’t defend himself as Sunghoon hits him in the head with the pole over and over again. You can’t move, your hands covering your mouth as you watch blood splatter the concrete beneath Jaeho, the brick wall beside him, the garbage container behind him, and Sunghoon in front of him.
Sunghoon stops once Jaeho is no longer whimpering in pain. The bloody metal pole drops to the ground and Sunghoon turns around, brushing his hair away from his face. There’s a bloodlust look on his face that uproots your body and you begin to move away from Sunghoon as he steps forward.
“Get the fuck away from me,” you warn shakily.
Sunghoon doesn’t listen and he continues to walk closer.
“I’m serious, Sunghoon. Why the fuck did you do that?”
“Do what, Y/N?” Sunghoon asks.
“I’m not in the mood for this. You just fucking murdered Jaeho.”
“He was going to die anyway,” Sunghoon shrugs.
“What the fuck,” you whisper. “You’re crazy.”
Sunghoon grins in response and you open your mouth to scream. In a matter of seconds Sunghoon has you pushed back up against the brick wall, a hand over mouth while his other arm is lightly pressed against your throat.
“Are you fucking dumb, Y/N?” Sunghoon hisses. “Why the fuck would you scream? You do know this is now considered a crime scene, right? If you scream, you’ll attract attention, and I don’t think you want attention right now considering you watched me beat Jaeho to death.”
Reality finally sinks in for you. “Oh my god,” you say. “You killed Jaeho and I -- I watched. Oh my god. I didn’t stop you. Oh my god.” Your head spins and everything feels woozy. Your knees give out but Sunghoon is there to catch you.
“Y/N, listen to me,” Sunghoon demands. “Let me make a call. And then, I’m going to walk you back to your dorm. You’ll take a shower, eat something, and maybe drink something, and then you’ll go to bed, okay? Let me handle Jaeho. I’ll come for you when everything has been handled. Do not call or text me, okay?”
You don’t say anything. You still feel like you’re floating.
Sunghoon’s hands squish your cheeks as he shakes your head from side to side. “Y/N. Say something. I need to know you understand me.”
“Yes.” You blurt. “Okay. I understand.”
Sunghoon smiles gently and you don’t understand how he could smile like that after ruthlessly murdering someone. You feel Sunghoon kiss your forehead. “You did a good job, okay?” Sunghoon pulls away from you and helps you to the ground, letting you draw your knees to your chest. “You should always call me before you call anyone else, okay? I’ll always be there to help you.”
You nod your head.
Sunghoon tsks. “Repeat after me, Y/N. You’ll call me before you call anyone else.”
“I’ll call you before I call anyone else,” you repeat in a small voice.
Sunghoon smiles, his hand running through your hair and caressing your cheek. “Good girl.” He stands and walks away, and you bury your head into your arms.
—-
Be normal is what Sunghoon whispered to you two days ago before he allowed you to enter your dorm. You needed to act normal and that’s what you did. You made sure to engage with Yunjin and politely talk to any of her friends who hung out with the both of you during the two days after you watched Sunghoon murder Jaeho.
You haven’t seen Sunghoon in two days, nor have you contacted him. You’ve seen his younger friends around campus but you don’t have the confidence to approach them.
You’re having nightmares now. Jaeho is always present and you always wake up sweating. You haven’t gotten much sleep so you move through your school days zombie-like. The nightmare is always the same scenario; Jaeho’s chasing after you. He corners you in an alley and he beats you to death with the exact metal pole Sunghoon used on him.
News of Jaeho’s disappearance spread quickly across campus. His friends were the last to see him -- he had walked out of his apartment without telling them where he was going. At any mention of Jaeho, you freeze up. You can’t help it.
The doors to your lecture theater swing open and you’re drawn back to the present. The headmaster of your university, who you’ve only seen a few times, enters the lecture hall flanked by two policemen. A ripple of whispers runs through the lecture hall and your heart begins to beat quicker.
“Is L/N Y/N here today?”
All eyes turn to you and you shrink into your seat.
“Miss. Y/N would you please come with us? We have a few questions to ask,” one of the police officers addresses you. You pack up your things and slide out of your seat. Everyone is watching you as you walk over to the headmaster and the two policemen. You already know what this will be about.
There’s a brisk silent walk over to an empty lab. The headmaster exchanges a few words with the two policemen before he leaves you alone in their company. Your head is bowed as you sit at one of the tables, a microscope beside you and a petri dish in front of you.
“L/N Y/N?” One of the policemen asks.
You raise your head. “That’s me.”
“I’m Officer Kim and this is Officer Jeong. We have a few questions for you regarding the disappearance of Lee Jaeho.”
You nod your head.
“First, I’ll ask you an easy question. What was Jaeho to you? A friend?”
You open your mouth but struggle to answer. Was Jaeho a friend? You think back to the night at the party when he lay his hands on you without your consent. He lost the privilege to be called a friend the moment he climbed on top of you -- but, he was drunk and he had apologized to you numerous times. Doesn’t that restore the title of friendship?
“Yeah, we were friends,” you agree softly.
It’s silent as Officer Jeong notes some things down. “We managed to retrieve Jaeho’s phone,” Officer Kim says, pulling out a sealed bag containing Jaeho’s phone. Your heart skips a beat and your eyes widen. They found his phone?
“His phone?” You question.
Officer Kim nods his head. “We found it discarded on the roadside. Obviously, it’s been smashed, but we were able to retrieve the chip.” Officer Kim eyes you. “Do you know what I’m about to ask you?”
You don’t respond. Your hands curl into fists beneath the table and your nails dig into your palms.
“Why had Jaeho been texting you frequently up until his death? And why weren’t you responding?”
“That’s a private matter.”
Officer Kim smiles. “Private or not, we need to know.”
“I don’t think you need to know.” You don’t want to admit the truth. You don’t want to tell the police that Jaeho had assaulted you. Admitting it to Sunghoon was terrifying enough but to officers of the law?
“Can I be frank, Y/N?”
“Sure.”
“You’re a prime suspect in this investigation. I think you might want to tell us everything you know, otherwise you may end up being convicted for something you didn’t do.”
You lower your head and stare at the tabletop. Your fingernails dig deeper into your palm. “I wasn’t responding because he assaulted me.” You were scared to look at the police officers. You were scared to see what their expressions were. “He assaulted me and he was texting me apologies but I was ignoring him because I didn’t want to forgive him.”
It’s silent and you slowly look up. Officer Kim gives you a gentle smile. “Thank you for telling us, Y/N.”
Officer Jeong writes something down and you nod your head. “I have another question for you,” you watch Officer Kim place a sheet of paper on the table. On the paper, is a printed-out screenshot of an Instagram DM.
“Park Sunghoon sent Jaeho a threatening message on Instagram two days before his death. Park Sunghoon mentioned you by name, telling Jaeho to stay away from you or he will do something he won’t regret. Did you know about this?”
You stare at the piece of paper and read Sunghoon’s message to Jaeho. Something swirls around in your stomach and you shift uncomfortably in your chair. “No,” you respond. “I didn’t know about that.”
“Do you have any idea as to why Park Sunghoon would send that message?”
“He found me,” you say, swallowing thickly, “after Jaeho assaulted me. I told him what happened. I didn’t expect him to send Jaeho that message, he’s just a bit….” you think back to the night Jaeho was murdered. Sunghoon didn’t hesitate to pick up your call, he found you in a matter of minutes, and he promised to take care of everything for you. “He’s a bit overprotective.”
“Alright. Thank you.” Officer Kim slides the piece of paper away and clears his throat. “Earlier, we interrogated Park Sunghoon as he is the suspect at the top of our list. We were able to confiscate his phone for a few hours and we found that you had called him on the night of Jaeho’s disappearance at 10:10 for two minutes. Jaeho’s roommates told us Jaeho left the apartment at ten o’clock. Ten minutes before you made the call.”
“I did call him.”
“Why?”
You have two choices -- do you tell the truth, or do you lie? Do you blame Sunghoon for Jaeho’s murder, or do you allow the blame to fall on someone else? Do you throw Sunghoon to the pack of wolves, or do you live in misery and guilt for the rest of your life?
“I called him because he usually walks me home at night,” you tell Officer Kim. “I work at a convenience store and my shift ends at ten. Ever since Jaeho assaulted me I have been scared to walk alone in the dark. Sunghoon offered to walk me home after each of my shifts.”
“Okay,” Officer Kim nods his head. “Your shift ends at ten, but you called him at ten past.”
“I was waiting for him. I can’t walk home alone in the dark anymore, I get scared and sometimes have panic attacks. I don’t care how long I waited for Sunghoon, I was just happy he eventually showed up after I called him.”
“Okay,” Officer Kim smiles once more. “Thank you. One last question. How would you describe your relationship with Park Sunghoon?”
You’re not sure what that has to do with the investigation, but you answer anyway. “It’s…Complicated.”
“Alright. Thank you for your time, Y/N.”
“No problem. Can I go?”
“Yes, you can. We’ll be in touch.” Officer Kim waves you goodbye. You gladly grab your bag and leave the classroom, exhaling in relief as you shut the door behind you.
“They got you too, huh?”
You snap your head to the side. “Sunghoon!”
The silver-haired boy grins and beckons you over to him. “Hello, Y/N, long time no see?”
You scowl. “Fuck you, Sunghoon.”
Sunghoon grabs your hand. “Let’s go somewhere private, Y/N. There’s a lot we need to talk about.”
“Yeah,” you snort, “especially about how you’re a fucking psychopathic murderer.”
Sunghoon grins at you from over your shoulder. You feel unsettled but you allow Sunghoon to drag you across campus. You thought you would be more angry seeing him, but instead you feel oddly comforted -- and that terrifies you.
—-
Sunghoon takes you to his apartment. It’s flash like you expected, and Jake is lying on the couch in the living room when you enter. The television is blaring loudly as Jake watches some crime documentary on a channel you’ve never heard of.
“Do you want anything to eat? Or drink?” Sunghoon asks.
“No. I want to talk about what happened with Jaeho,” you hiss, glancing at Jake who was fully absorbed in the documentary.
“Don’t worry about Jake,” Sunghoon informs you, pulling out a can of coca cola from the fridge. “He’s also killed some people. He helped me with Jaeho, in fact.”
You stare at Sunghoon, and then at Jake. “What -- what the fuck.”
“I kill people, Jake kills people, Jay kills people -- we all kill people,” Sunghoon says bluntly.
You don’t know what to say. You stare at Sunghoon, your bag dropping to the floor and your heart pounds in your chest. “Why -- why are you telling me this? What if I go to the police?”
Sunghoon laughs, leaning against the kitchen counter. “You won’t tell anyone, Y/N.”
“But what if I do?”
Sunghoon smirks. “Then I’ll have to kill you. And I don’t want to kill you, Y/N, you’re too pretty to be killed.”
“You’re disgusting,” you spit.
“I’m disgusting and yet you’re standing in my apartment.”
You scowl at Sunghoon.
“How did the interrogation go? What did Kim ask you?”
“He asked me about Jaeho,” you reply, “I had to tell him about Jaeho assaulting me.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Sunghoon says gently.
“No you’re not,” you retort. “You’re a psychopath, you don’t feel things.”
Sunghoon hums. “That’s true, Y/N, but I feel things for you.”
“I also lied,” you tell Sunghoon. “They asked me why I called you and I lied. Happy?”
Sunghoon beams. “Very.” He reaches out to pat your cheek. “You’re a very good girl, Y/N.”
“Whatever,” you mumble, hating the way your heart leaps at Sunghoon’s words.
“So,” Sunghoon gestures for you to take a seat at the dining table. “Do you have any questions?”
“How much time do you have?”
“For you? As much time as you want,” Sunghoon replies.
You scowl. “Shut up.”
Sunghoon laughs and sips his drink. “So?”
“Fine. How did you know where I was?”
“Easy. I’ve been following you home most nights, but I couldn’t that night because I was having a group meeting. Since I knew the path you take home, I was able to find you easily.”
You gape at Sunghoon. “You’ve been stalking me?”
Sunghoon shrugs. “Well, when you put it like that it doesn’t sound good.”
“Why have you been stalking me?”
“I was following you because I wanted to make sure you were safe,” Sunghoon replies smoothly.
“Oh. Okay.” You know you should be throwing a fit and telling Sunghoon that stalking you was wrong, but the way Sunghoon smoothly admitted to stalking you, made your chest feel warm. You don’t know how to describe it, but the idea of knowing Sunghoon was keeping you safe did something to you.
Sunghoon raises his eyebrows but he doesn’t say anything.
“Why did you kill Jaeho? Why are you a murderer? What the fuck is happening? Are you the one doing all the killings?”
“I killed Jaeho because he deserved it, Y/N,” Sunghoon says. “He shouldn’t be walking around without consequences for his actions.”
You eye Sunghoon as he talks, and a thrill runs up your spine. You don’t know how to describe your emotions. You don’t know how to describe the fire that’s burning in the pit of your stomach. The way Sunghoon is speaking -- the way his eyes look -- it’s all so thrilling. A pretty face with a twisted mind. Something within you keens to know more. The idea that Sunghoon is willing to kill for you does something.
“Killing Jaehyun was easy,” Sunghoon grins. It’s a maniacal grin. You shift in your seat and edge closer. “He was indebted to Heeseung. Couldn’t repay Heeseung, so we killed him.”
“Just like that?” You ask, your heart thumping wildly.
Sunghoon smiles at you. It’s softer and he tilts his head, “just like that, sweetheart.”
“You killed Taeyong, too?”
Sunghoon’s smile reveals his teeth. His tongue licks his teeth and he calls out to Jake, who pokes his head over the back of the couch, his honey-blonde hair falling over his face. “You killed Taeyong?”
Jake’s grin is ecstatic. His eyes light up and he nods his head like how a dog wags their tail. “Hell yeah, dude! You should’ve been there, it was so fucking satisfying. Seeing him slump to the ground?” Jake presses a hand to his cheek and sighs. “I’d do it all over again.” Jake falls away from the back of the couch, tuning back into the documentary and you turn back to Sunghoon.
“You’re all fucking crazy,” you exclaim, astonished and breathless.
“Fucking crazy and doing what everyone else is afraid to.” Sunghoon reaches out and plays with the strings of your hoodie. You edge closer to Sunghoon and stare at him, all the anger you felt for a few minutes had evaporated. You felt a weird sense of comfort and longing. It made you feel sick, but the longing overpowered it. Sunghoon killed Jaeho for you. He followed you home to keep you safe. No one’s done that before and any sane or rational person would fear for their life and beg the police to keep them safe but you -- you want to know how far Sunghoon will go.
“So. No other reason for killing Jaeho? And for stalking me? And giving me your number?”
Sunghoon hums, his index finger brushing your chin as he wraps the string around his finger. “Well, I guess there is another reason.”
“Which is?”
Sunghoon looks at you, his eyes dark and your gut drops to your feet. “I love you, Y/N,” his voice was deep and you feel goosebumps rise across your skin.
“You don’t know me, Sunghoon.”
“Do I have to know you to love you?”
You draw away from Sunghoon, the string unraveling from around his finger. “You’re crazy.”
Sunghoon chuckles and leans back in his chair, pushing a hand through his hair. “I know. That’s all you’ve said in the past five minutes. Do you have anything other than you’re crazy, to say?”
You stare at Sunghoon. You have many things to say, many sentences running through your mind. Where to begin? How do you say what you’re feeling? How do you admit to Sunghoon that you don’t mind him doing all this for you?
You grab Sunghoon by the collar of his shirt and kiss him. It doesn’t take long for Sunghoon to respond. His hands cup your face and he pulls you close, leaving you on the edge of your seat. You kiss him with everything in you. You give and Sunghoon takes. He stokes the fire burning within your stomach and you just want him to devour you. Sunghoon bites down on your bottom lip, his tongue slipping past your lips, and pleasure rushes through your bloodstream. You want more of Sunghoon. More more more more more --
Your phone vibrates against the table. You leave it, but it keeps on vibrating and Sunghoon is the one to part. You chase Sunghoon’s lips, but he keeps you away, his thumb resting against your bottom lip. “You should answer that, Y/N.”
“Okay,” you say breathlessly. You reach for your phone, not taking your eyes off Sunghoon. “Hello?”
“Y/N,” Yunjin cries, jolting you. Her sob rips loudly through the phone and Sunghoon gives you a questioning look. Behind you, Jake’s phone rings out and he groans, pausing the documentary to answer the phone. “Haechan’s dead, Y/N.”
—-
It’s been two long days since the death of Haechan. Yunjin was in the library when it happened, that’s why she called you sobbing. Haechan was only a couple of bookcases behind her when the murder occurred, and it really shook her up.
You had raced down to the campus library hot on Sunghoon and Jake’s heels. The phone call Jake had got at the same time as you was from Heeseung, who was, in fact, the one who killed Haechan. When you arrived at the crime scene, Heeseung was talking with Beomgyu and Jeongin, tightly huddled next to each other.
Yunjin threw herself into your arms and sobbed against your shoulder as you watched Sunghoon and Jake usher Heeseung, Beomgyu, and Jeonging away from the library.
You haven’t heard from Sunghoon since then and you feel like you’re going insane. Maybe kissing Sunghoon was the wrong idea, maybe you shouldn’t have kissed him, maybe if you told him how you were feeling, he wouldn’t be leaving you on delivered and never coming to class.
You stand in front of the full-length mirror in your dorm, brushing your hands against the black dress tightly hugging your features. You’re going out tonight with a goal in mind; Sunghoon. You need to see Sunghoon, you need to pick up where you left off two days ago.
“Yunjin,” you shake the girl lying in her bed asleep.
She groans and rolls over, rubbing her eyes. “Y/N?”
“Do you want to come to the party Minho’s throwing tonight? It’s some birthday bash for Changbin at some club. I’m hoping to see Sunghoon tonight, but I’m sure Sakura will be there, she’s friends with Minho, right?”
Yunjin stares at you for a very long time. “Are you fucking kidding me, Y/N?”
You stare at Yunjin, taken aback. “What?”
Yunjin scoffs and shakes her head. “I was literally almost murdered and all you care about is Sunghoon? You know, not once during the past two days did you check up on me, or offer a helping hand -- all you talked to me about was fucking Sunghoon. Some friend you are.” Yunjin rolls back over, her back facing you.
The silence in the room is loud. “I’ll bring you back some ice cream, Yunjin,” you say in a meek tone. She doesn’t respond, so you gently pad out of the dorm, shutting the door quietly behind you.
Walking out into the cool air, Yunjin’s words echo through your head. Had you really been that awful to her? When you think back to the past few days, all you can think about is Sunghoon, so maybe there was some truth to Yunjin’s words, maybe you were obsessed with Sunghoon at the moment, but surely you had offered comfort to Yunjin? She was your only friend, after all.
But, it’s whatever. If you somehow earn Sunghoon’s attention and buy ice cream tonight, then all the problems in your life will be solved.
The line in front of the club was already long. You didn’t mind the long wait because you kept yourself occupied with thoughts of Sunghoon. Sunghoon, Sunghoon, Sunghoon. He was all you could think about. Flashes of deep brown eyes, flashes of silver (almost white) hair, and a pink mouth curved into a kissable smile. He was addictive.
Entering the club, you scan the crowd. It was dark so it was hard to make out faces, but you catch sight of familiar faces -- Soobin, Yeonjun, Yena, Yuri, Chaewon, Seungmin. But no Sunghoon. Cursing, you approach the bar and order a drink, your fingertips hitting the bartop in a rhythmic manner as you continue searching the club over and over.
Minutes pass by and still no sight of Sunghoon. You knock back your third drink of the night, your tongue licking up the last remnants of your drink when the crowd parts and Yeonjun approaches you, his hair now a deep blue.
“Y/N,” Yeonjun smiles. “Nice seeing you here.”
“Yeonjun,” you smile back. “You too.”
“You look good tonight.”
“Really?” Looking over his shoulder, you finally see Sunghoon. He’s talking to Minjeong. Bitch.
“Really,” Yeonjun agrees. “Care for a dance? With me?”
You take Yeonjun’s waiting hand and he leads you to the dance floor, pushing his way into the middle where the music is the loudest. The loud club music mixes with the alcohol consuming your bloodstream and you lose all inhibitions. Yeonjun easily guides you through the rhythm of the music and his hands carefully wander across your body.
Yeonjun’s lips carefully ghost over the back of your neck. You melt into his arms and tilt your head to the side, his lips falling onto the side of your neck, artfully decorating them in little kisses and bites, his hands gripping your waist tighter as your dancing begins to turn sensual.
Your hand cups the back of Yeonjun’s neck and you turn your head, your heart in your throat. Yeonjun pulls you closer -- if that was even possible -- and his breath is hot on your lips and then you’re being pulled apart. You stumble into the dancers in front of you, who grumble in annoyance but you shrug them off and glance to see who pulled you and Yeonjun apart.
Sunghoon is towering over Yeonjun, his eyes dark and aura brooding. You notice his hands are curled into fists and before Yeonjun could say anything, Sunghoon is punching him. You watch Sunghoon punch Yeonjun a few times before you sink into the crowd surrounding the one-sided fight that was occurring -- you couldn’t bear to watch Sunghoon beat up Yeonjun, but you also know that Sunghoon will realize you’ve left and he’ll come for you.
You inhale deeply as you step out of the club. It’s 12 AM and the streets of Seoul are still alive. You walk aimlessly through the streets to get your thoughts and feelings under control. When you eventually confront Sunghoon, you want to be able to say what you want to say without stumbling over your words.
Sharply, you turn down an alleyway and walk until you reach the dead end, turning around, you place your hands on your hips and glare into the dark night. “Sunghoon, I know you’re there,” it’s silent for a few beats. “You fucking piece of shit,” you tag on belatedly.
Still nothing.
“What gives you the right to punch Yeonjun after ignoring me for two days? You don’t own me, Sunghoon. I can dance with whoever I want, and kiss whoever I want.”
Finally, you see Sunghoon’s figure appear at the end of the alley. He approaches you like how a lion stalks their prey, except you don't cower away. Sunghoon’s face is stoic, and his eyes are dark. His right hand is bloody but you don’t care, you only care about what Sunghoon will say to you.
“You can’t kiss Yeonjun,” Sunghoon answers gruffly.
“Why not?” You challenge.
Sunghoon grabs your face and kisses you in response. It’s a rough kiss, one which surprises you. You stumble into the cool brick wall behind you as Sunghoon cages you. Sunghoon’s kiss is demanding and it’s leaving you breathless as you attempt to keep up with his passion. His hands wander across your body -- over your butt and your breasts, his hands going where you want them to go. You whimper as Sunghoon bites harshly on your bottom lip, drawing blood that tastes metallic but you don’t care. You hook one leg around Sunghoon’s waist and push him closer to your body. You crave Sunghoon’s warmth.
Sunghoon draws away, and once again you’re left chasing his lips. “When you come to a club dressed like a slut, Y/N,” Sunghoon says, his voice rumbling deep in his chest, “guys will think they’re able to kiss what’s mine.”
“I’m not yours Sunghoon,” you whisper, letting Sunghoon’s thumb brush over your lip to wipe away the blood dripping down your chin. “We kissed once.”
“I also stalked you. And Killed Jaeho for you,” Sunghoon reminds, his tone firm.
“I didn’t ask you to do that,” you retort, “you just did it.”
Sunghoon laughs and it chills you to the bone. “But you liked me doing that. You liked the idea of me stalking you, and you liked watching me kill Jaeho.”
You can’t deny it. Sunghoon kisses you again, but it’s gentle. His thumbs brush your cheeks in a soothing rhythm. Sunghoon moves his lips across your face -- he kisses your cheeks, your nose, your forehead, and then he dips down to kiss your throat. Raising his face to look at you, his eyes are soft. “You’re mine, Y/N,” his voice is also softer like he’s trying to lull you into his warm embrace but he doesn’t need to try. You’re already aching for his warm embrace.
“Ask me,” you whisper, your voice trembling, “ask me to be yours. Ask me to be your girlfriend. Ask me to love you.”
Sunghoon kisses you again. He’s addicting.
“Be mine. Be my girlfriend, Y/N.”
You hum, smiling softly. “Will you take me out on dates?”
“If you want to, then I will.”
You pull Sunghoon in for a kiss. “Take me on dates and I’ll love you. It’s simple, Sunghoon.”
Sunghoon traces your lips with a gentle finger. “Being mine has rules, Y/N,” he says in a low voice. “And if you break them, I’ll have to break you.”
Your pulse is loud in your ears. Anticipation hangs in the air. You want Sunghoon -- all of him. “I’ll follow them,” you promise Sunghoon.
“You don’t even know what they are, Y/N,” Sunghoon chuckles.
“I don’t have to know the rules to know I love you.”
Sunghoon kisses you desperately, your back digging painfully into the wall behind you, but you ignore the pain because Sunghoon’s warmth is overwhelming. “Rule number one,” Sunghoon pants out, his lips moving against yours. “You’re mine. Y/N.”
—-
Sunghoon’s presence has been overwhelming but it’s the good kind. All week you were around Sunghoon. Everywhere you went, Sunghoon was there. His rules were easy to follow -- when you see Sunghoon, you go to him, no matter if you’re with your friends. You can’t talk to any other men aside from Sunghoon and his friends. If you want to go out, you have to ask Sunghoon for permission, because Sunghoon has to know where you are, and when you’re dressing up to go out to a club, Sunghoon has to approve your outfit, and above all, you listen to Sunghoon. You listen to what he says and do what he asks, no questions asked.
If you were the sane, logical girl from last year, you would be searching for a way out of Sunghoon’s obsessive grip but now -- now you’re a girl who craves this kind of attention, who finds a thrill in knowing that you have all of Sunghoon’s attention for yourself. You find a thrill in knowing Sunghoon would do anything for you, and it should disgust you, but it doesn’t.
Sunghoon’s car rumbles gently beneath you. His hand grips your thigh possessively, the other lazily holding onto the steering wheel as he drives through Seoul. He was taking you on a date today, to a park to have a picnic.
“I like your skirt,” Sunghoon says, grinning as he pinches the hem of it.
You lay your hand over Sunghoon’s. “I wonder who picked it out.”
Sunghoon sneaks a look at you, his eyes dancing in amusement. “Perhaps you should give the person who picked it out a kiss.”
Giggling, you reach across the gap between you and Sunghoon and peck his cheek. “Thank you,” you say gently against his ear. Sunghoon’s hand squeezes your thigh tightly. You giggle again and slump against the seat, staring out the window again.
It’s a nice day. The sun is shining and there’s a gentle breeze in the air that keeps you feeling comfortable. Sunghoon takes your hand and leads you through the park to a secluded area. He tells you to stand there and look pretty as he lays out the picnic blanket and the basket full of food he had picked out for the both of you.
Sunghoon helps you out of your shoes, and then he helps you get comfortable on the blanket. He keeps you tucked between his legs and you relax against his chest, his arms circling your waist and keeping you warm. The breeze tickles your shoulder and you giggle softly, and then you feel Sunghoon drop a kiss on that same shoulder.
“Are you feeling hungry, Y/N?”
“A bit. What did you pack?”
Sunghoon shifts, keeping one arm circled around your waist while he reaches to pull the basket closer to him. “I brought some fruit,” Sunghoon pulls out a mandarin. “I’ll peel it for you,” Sunghoon’s mouth brushes your ear and you shiver.
You watch as Sunghoon’s hands deftly peel the mandarin for you. “Open your mouth,” Sunghoon says. He feeds you each mandarin piece and your heart swells. Sunghoon was a dream. He was your dream. He was your ideal man -- Sunghoon would kill for you, maybe even die for you. But he was also sweet, and loving, and caring.
“Tell me more about you,” Sunghoon says, his chin resting on your shoulder as you relax further into his embrace. “What’s your favorite color?” His fingers trace over your bare thigh. You ignore how it tickles.
“Pink. I like soft pink. Not bright pink, but a mellow, warm pink.”
“I hate pink,” Sunghoon says, sounding amused.
“I’ll make you love it.”
Sunghoon hums and kisses your shoulder. “I bet you will.”
“What about you?” You turn your head slightly to catch the side of Sunghoon’s face. “What’s your color?”
Sunghoon pulls away from your shoulder to look at you. He smiles. “I liked green, but these days I think I like the color of your eyes more.”
You blush and duck your head, covering your face with your hands. “Shut up, Sunghoon.”
He laughs heartily, his chest moving against your back. He kisses the top of your head. “Any siblings?”
You shake your head. “I’m an only child. What about you?”
“I have a younger sister,” Sunghoons says, though the tone of his voice wishes he didn’t.
Chaewon’s words from the party echo through your head. “Is it true you made your sister walk home with a broken ankle?”
Sunghoon scoffs. “She deserved it.” He doesn’t elaborate and you sit there in silence, letting his words simmer in the air. That should’ve been a sign for you to leave Sunghoon behind, go to the police and beg for a restraining order, or attempt to flee the country. But, you choose to sit between Sunghoon’s legs and intertwine your fingers with Sunghoon’s.
“And your parents? Are you close with them?” You ask Sunghoon.
“I cut them off as soon as I got to college,” Sunghoon admits bluntly. “What about you?” He brushes some stray strands of hair behind your ear.
“I’m close with them,” you murmur, playing with Sunghoon’s fingers. “They will probably want to meet you.”
“I’d love to meet them, then,” Sunghoon says, “after all, they created you.”
Your giggle floats through the air and Sunghoon manhandles you around to face him so he can kiss you intensely. You’re reeling from the sudden kiss, but soon you melt into the kiss, enjoying the feeling of Sunghoon warmly pressed against you.
Pulling away, you push your cheek against Sunghoon’s chest to listen to his heartbeat. Your legs are curled up as Sunghoon holds you close, playing with the ends of your hair. “Sunghoon?” You ask gently and he hums in response. “How did you -- why did you --” Sunghoon cuts you off to kiss you again. You let him kiss you for a while.
“That’s a story for another day, Y/N,” Sunghoon murmurs, his forehead resting against yours. “Let’s not ruin the mood of our date, yeah?”
You can only agree.
—-
You’re walking into a familiar club a couple of days later with Yunjin. Your eyes glance down at your phone once again, rereading Sunghoon’s texts. First, he approved of your outfit and complimented you so passionately you still blush as you read his message, and second, Sunghoon had told you he’d be arriving soon. Your stomach was on fire at just the thought of seeing Sunghoon again tonight, at a party.
Beside you, Yunjin looks at you before abandoning you in favor to seek out her friends. You let Yunjin go. She’s been giving you the cold shoulder ever since you never returned back to the dorm without the ice cream you promised her. You’ve also been blowing her off lately in favor to hang out with Sunghoon, but you could care less about Yunjin’s cold shoulder. You have Sunghoon to crawl back to at the end of the day, anyway.
You head for the bar and order a drink. You look out at the club, eyes trained on the entrance as you wait for Sunghoon. Minutes pass and the club continues to fill up. You keep checking your phone for a message from Sunghoon, but you still receive no text from him.
People pile up at the bar around you, and behind you, you hear a familiar, grating feminine voice. Shooting a side glance over your shoulder, you catch a glimpse of curly black hair and smoky eyeshadow. Minjeong sat behind you with her posse, and her voice was loud enough for you to hear.
“Did you hear the rumor about Sunghoon?” One of Minjeong’s friends asks her.
“Which one? The one about him murdering Jaehyun, or the one about him being a freak?” Minjeong asks in her annoying snarky tone. You’ve never liked Minjeong, in fact, you’ve always had a rivalry with her ever since high school. You two were the top students in your high school and when Senior year came around, both of you were vying for valedictorian. In the end, you snatched the spot from her, and from then, Minjeong’s been obsessed with stealing everything from you -- even your ex-boyfriend.
“No, the one about his relationship with Y/N,” her friend clarifies. “People are saying he’s blackmailing her into being his girlfriend.”
Minjeong laughs loudly at that. “If anything, Y/N’s the one doing the blackmailing. She’s a pathetic freak. Though, Sunghoon’s more of a freak than her so it’s a perfect match!”
Her friends titter obnoxiously and you order another drink from the bar. Minjeong was beginning to get on your nerves for the thousandth time, except this time, you might end up doing something about it rather than being the one to take the high road.
“What did you mean when you called Sunghoon a freak?” Another one of Minjeong’s friends asks, her tone curious and it makes your blood boil. What right do Minjeong and her friends have talking about Sunghoon like that?
Minjeong snickers. “Didn’t you hear? Apparently, in Freshmen year, he was caught entering a girl’s dorm and stealing all her underwear. When the campus security went through his room, they found all sorts of panties and porn magazines. He’s a peeping tom, Jimin, a freak. I guess he and Y/N deserve each other.”
Slamming the glass holding your drink onto the bar, you turn in your chair and glare at Minjeong. All her friends freeze up at the sight of you, but Minjeong only smiles slyly. “If I were you, I would watch your fucking mouth, Minjeong,” you warn.
“All bark no bite,” Minjeong taunts.
All bark no bite. Jaeho said that before Sunghoon murdered him. Your blood boils. You hate that saying.
“Sunghoon’s a fucking freak and you know it, Y/N.”
Grabbing your drink, you pour the remainder of the alcohol over Minjeong’s head. She shrieks and her friends flinch away. “Say that again.” You grab Minjeong by the shirt. “Say it, Minjeong.”
Minjeong opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. Rolling your eyes, you shove Minjeong off the barstool and she goes crashing to the ground. All her friends crowd around her, some shoot you dirty looks but you ignore them. Minjeong had it coming.
“Y/N.”
Turning around, you see Yeonjun standing there with a swollen nose and a black eye. Your eyes widen and you glance around the room searching for Sunghoon. Where was Sunghoon?
“Yeonjun, hi.”
“Y/N, listen to me,” Yeonjun grabs your hand. You flinch and try to pull away, but Yeonjun’s grip only tightens. “You need to get away from Sunghoon.”
“Yeonjun, what the fuck --”
“Y/N,” Yeonjun’s begging at this point. “You don’t deserve someone like him. He’s a psychopath, Y/N, you’re not safe with him.”
You scoff and finally tug your hand out of Yeonjun’s. “Thank you for the warning, Yeonjun, but I think I can make those kinds of decisions on my own.”
“Y/N, you aren’t listening. Sunghoon’s a fucking murderer--”
“Sunghoon!” You beam as you see the silver-haired male appear behind Yeonjun.
Yeonjun tenses up and turns slightly to see Sunghoon towering over him. Sunghoon doesn’t say anything as he brushes past Yeonjun and grips your wrist tightly, pulling you through the crowd and out of the club. You stumble over your feet in an attempt to catch up with Sunghoon’s fast pace and long legs.
“Sunghoon!” You call but he ignores you. Once he’s free from the club, he veers to the right sharply and shoves you up against the side of the club. You’re hidden away from the long line of people waiting to enter the club, the shadows protecting you from anyone who peers down this small alley in between two clubs.
“Why the fuck were you talking to Yeonjun, Y/N?” Sunghoon glares at you, his eyes fiery.
Your heart skips a beat and you reach for Sunghoon’s hand. “Sunghoon, I didn’t want to talk to him.”
“Don’t fucking lie, Y/N. I thought you understood my rules clearly. I specifically told you to not talk to Yeonjun.” Sunghoon was seething. You’ve never seen him this angry.
“Sunghoon,” you try to placate him. “He talked to me. I never want to disobey you, Sunghoon, you have to believe me. I don’t want to talk to Yeonjun but he came up to me and started a conversation with me.”
“Are you telling the truth, Y/N?”
You nod your head. “Of course, Sunghoon. You’re the only one I want.”
“Good girl,” Sunghoon breaks into a smile and cups your face with his hand, planting a kiss on your lips. “Head back into the club, I have something to take care of.”
“Okay,” you murmur, “be safe?”
“I always am,” Sunghoon kisses you again. “You look good tonight. It’s a shame I can’t be with you longer.”
“I’ll wear this dress for you another night, I promise,” you smile at Sunghoon, squeezing his hand.
“Alright. Text me when you’re leaving the club. And text me when you get home.”
“Of course.”
—-
Walking through campus, something rustles underfoot. Glancing down, you see Yeonjun’s missing poster beneath your foot. Choi Yeonjun has been missing for the past three days. You screw up the missing poster and dump it in the nearest trash can. They won’t ever find Yeonjun’s body, Jay made sure to dispose of it carefully.
Sunghoon had called you the next morning after Yeonjun attempted to ward you away from Sunghoon. It didn’t work, of course, because you loved Sunghoon and you wanted to be with him, psychopath or not. You and Sunghoon met up at a cafe on campus, he bought your breakfast for you and he explained why he had to leave you alone in the club.
Yeonjun’s death was all his fault. He had it coming.
After Sunghoon explained Yeonjun’s murder to you, you kissed him and said thank you. You knew you could always count on Sunghoon to protect you and keep you save from the people trying to interfere with your relationship.
Days passed after Sunghoon admitted to being the cause of Yeonjun’s disappearance. The hunt for Yeonjun is growing hopeless as each day passes and no one steps forward with any information regarding Yeonjun’s disappearance.
You’re working at the convenience store again. It’s a boring night but thankfully you only have an hour left. You flick through a magazine that was supposed to be on display in front of the counter but since there were no customers, you were passing time by snickering at the tabloid.
The door opens and the bell above it rings. Glancing up, you see Minjeong approaching you. You push the magazine to the side and wait for Minjeong to speak as she stands at the counter. Her eyes survey the gum sitting nearby, and she grabs a strawberry flavored packet.
“You should keep a leash on your boytoy, Y/N,” Minjeon says nonchalantly, flicking through the same magazine you were previously reading.
“I don’t need to listen to this shit from you.”
Minjeong hums. “I think you do. I saw him, a couple of nights back. The night you ruined my green dress at the club, remember?”
You smile. “I remember it fondly, Minjeong.”
“I think it was around three am? I saw your boyfriend fighting with Yeonjun. It didn’t look like a friendly fight, Sunghoon was kind of…scary,” Minjeong shrugs and your heart begins to slow down. “Eventually, Yeonjun got into Sunghoon’s car.” Minjeong places the magazine back on the rack and looks at you. “Kinda crazy, huh? That I saw Yeonjun hours before he was reported missing, and he was with your boyfriend.”
“Your total is three dollars.”
“Three dollars for a packet of gum?” Minjeong frowns.
You smile but it’s tight, unfriendly. “Capitalism, Minjeong.”
Minjeong hands you a five dollar note. “You know what’s even funnier?”
“What?”
“I saw Sunghoon later. I think it was 5 AM? I am a party girl, after all, and he was climbing out of his car alone.”
You give Minjeong back her change. “Have a good night, Minjeong.”
Minjeong tuts. “I’m not finished, Y/N. He was climbing out of the car covered in blood, Y/N. You know what that means, right? Your psychotic boyfriend murdered Yeonjun.”
You can hear the clock in the staff room ticking as you and Minjeong stand in silence. You don’t know what to do. You’re in shock. You can’t believe Sunghoon had been so irresponsible. You can’t let Sunghoon go to prison.
“Why haven’t you told the police yet?” You ask Minjeong.
Minjeong shrugs, tearing the plastic wrapping off the gum packeting. “I didn’t believe what I saw at first. And then when I did, I wanted to talk to you before I went to the police.”
“Why would you want to talk to me?”
“Because the police might question you, Y/N,” Minjeong pulls out some gum and offers the packet to you. You shake your head. “And I don’t know what your relationship with Sunghoon is like, but I know how hard it is to be in an abusive relationship and get questioned by the police. They’re ruthless.”
Finally, an out to this situation appears. You soften your eyes and fidget with your fingers, glancing away from Minjeong. “Oh.” You stare really hard at a packet of chips, not bothering to blink as your eyes begin to water.
“Y/N?” Minjeong asks softly.
“Minjeong. Can we -- can we not talk about this here? Can we meet somewhere privately?”
Minjeong nods her head. “Of course, Y/N.”
“And can you not tell anyone about us meeting up? I -- I don’t want Sunghoon to know and I don’t want you getting in trouble in case he finds out you know. .”
Minjeong nods eagerly. “Of course, Y/N. Where do you want to meet?”
“There’s an alleyway not far down. It’s across from the Chinese takeaway place. My shift ends at ten, so it’ll take me a few minutes to get there.”
Minjeong smiles gently. “I’ll wait for you, Y/N. Thank you for trusting me with whatever you’re about to tell me.”
You smile at Minjeong. “Of course.”
Minjeong bids you goodbye and when she’s out of sight, you dry your eyes and reach for your phone, firing a quick text to Sunghoon. He answers back immediately and you grin, placing your phone down and reaching for the magazine you shoved aside.
The remainder of your shift passes by slowly. Your nerves get the better of you and by the time Seungmin arrives to take over, you’re racing out of the store. Your pulse is loud in your ears as you approach the alleyway where you told Minjeong to meet you.
You see her standing down the alleyway, a little way from the enterance. The glare of her phone lights up her face. Clearly distracted, you duck down and pick a broken brick up from the ground, hiding it behind your back as you walk over to Minjeong.
“Y/N,” Minjeong smiles and turns off her phone, pocketing it. “How are you?”
“I could be better,” you respond, keeping up your innocent, scared appearance. “I just didn’t know what to do or who to tell,” you start, biting your lower lip nervously.
“It’s okay,” Minjeong reaches out to rub your arm. “You can tell me.”
“Sunghoon he…he told me he murdered Yeonjun,” you confess to Minjeong.
Her eyes widen. “Oh, Y/N.”
“I was terrified at first,” you continue, “but then after a while, I thanked Sunghoon for doing that.”
“What?” Minjeong frowns, confused. “You thanked Sunghoon for…murdering Yeonjun?”
You shrug. “Yeonjun had it coming.”
“Y/N, what the fuck --”
“Sorry, Minjeong, but you weren’t supposed to see Sunghoon with Yeonjun,” you give her a smile before you swing your hand holding the brick through the air and smack Minjeong on the side of her head with it. Minjeong sprawls to the ground, her temple bleeding.
You drop the brick and pull out your phone, calmly dialing Sunghoon’s number as you stare at Minjeong’s unconscious body. “I knocked out Minjeong,” you tell Sunghoon, “she saw you with Yeonjun the night you killed him.”
Sunghoon doesn’t say anything. He hangs up and in seconds he’s by your side, staring down at Minjeong’s body. “Do you want to finish what you started, Y/N?” Sunghoon asks, picking up the brick, “or would you like me to finish?”
“You can finish. Do you want me to call Jake?”
“Yeah, tell him to get his ass down here with Jay and Heeseung and bring my car. He’ll know what to do.” Sunghoon hands you his phone and you turn away, not wanting to see Sunghoon bash Minjeong’s head with the brick.
Jake sounded eager as you talked to him on the phone. Fifteen minutes later, Jake appears with Jay and they jog down the alley. Sunghoon’s car is parked in front of the alley, blocking anyone from looking down the alley.
“Where’s the body?” Jay asks.
“Heeseung couldn’t make it,” Jake says as he, Sunghoon, and Jay crowd around Minjeong’s dead body. “He had to handle something with Beomgyu and Jeongin. Probably a drug deal gone wrong.”
“Of-fucking-course,” mutters Sunghoon. “Fucking stoners.” He glances over his shoulder. “Go wait in the car, Y/N. Jungwon will keep you company, and we’ll talk about this later, okay?”
You nod your head and walk down the alley, opening the car door and sliding into the backseat. Jungwon sits in the driver’s seat, his fingers tapping the steering wheel as he glances out the tinted windows. “Hey, Jungwon,” you place your bag on the car floor and pull out your phone to play Candy Crush to pass the time.
“Hey. Killed Minjeong, huh?”
“Knocked her unconcious. Sunghoon killed her for me. She knew too much about Yeonjun’s disappearance. Came to me while I was working and confessed everything to me.”
Jungwon snorts. “Her first mistake. Why didn’t she go to the police first?”
“I think she was concerned for me,” you respond absentmindedly. “Thought I was in an abusive relationship with Sunghoon.” That gets a kick out of Jungwon and he laughs heartily.
“Little does she know,” Jungwon sighs after getting his laughter under control, “you and Sunghoon are a perfect match for each other.”
—-
Sliding into the passenger seat beside Sunghoon, he greets you with a kiss. It was the first day of spring break and Sunghoon was driving the both of you down to visit your parents. They were over the moon when you told them you had a boyfriend and told you they wanted to meet him over the break.
“They’ll love you,” you reassure Sunghoon as he pulls away from the curb.”You’ll definitely win them over.”
Sunghoon grins, his dimple peeking. “Everyone loves me, Y/N.”
“I love you more though,” you respond, sulking.
Sunghoon takes your hand and kisses the top of it. “I know you do, Y/N.”
“Oh!” You perk up, “Yunjin wont be rooming with me after the break. I’ll have the dorm to myself for the rest of the semester and then I’ll have to move out. Should we move in together during the summer break, Sunghoon?”
Earlier, before Sunghoon came to pick you up, Yunjin broke the news to you. You were expecting this, now that you think about it. Ever since you began dating Sunghoon, you and Yunjin grew apart. She didn’t approve of you dating Sunghoon, and you didn’t like her disapproval. What was so wrong about you dating Sunghoon? Yunjin often complained whenever you blew her off, but as it became more frequent she began to leave you alone in the dorm like at the beginning of the year when the both of you weren’t as close.
You didn’t care than Yunjin held a grudge against you for blowing her off and dating Sunghoon because, at the end of the day, you always had Sunghoon and you would chose Sunghoon over any of your friends any day.
“I like that idea. Should we move in together?”
You nod your head. “It would be so much fun living together, Sunghoon. Late nights, I can cook you dinner, and we can watch as many movies as we want! Maybe we could get a pet too!”
“A cat?” Sunghoon asks.
“Anything you want, Sunghoon,” you respond warmly. Sunghoon steals a kiss from you at the red light and you giggle, smiling bashfully and leaning forward to turn up the radio, the playlist Sunghoon made for the two of you playing.
The drive to your childhood home was only a couple of hours. Usually, the drive was boring since you had no one else to join you, but now that you had Sunghoon with you on the drive, he made it more fun. Cracking jokes and playing silly games with you, he left you breathless.
“Home sweet home,” you murmur as Sunghoon pulls up the driveway.
Sunghoon parks the car and pulls the keys out of the ignition. His hand cups your chin and guides your lips to his. He kisses you in his car, outside your house. “Cute house,” Sunghoon says after leaving you breathless. “I can imagine you growing up here.”
You blush. The front door of your house opens and your mother and father step onto the porch, waving happily when they see you. “Come on,” you reach out to pinch Sunghoon’s cheek, “let’s meet the parents!”
Climbing out of the car, you rush up the porch to hug your parents. “I missed you so much, darling,” you mother says, petting your hair.
“I missed you more, mom,” you respond, pulling her in for another hug.
“My baby girl,” your father says fondly, rubbing your cheek with the back of his hand. “How have you been?”
You beam and hug your father tightly. “I’ve been well. University has been so much fun. I miss your homecooked food, though.”
Your mother and father chuckle. “We’re glad you’re back home, darling. This break will be so much fun.”
Glancing over your shoulder, you watch Sunghoon approach you and your parents. Your smile broadens and you tuck yourself into Sunghoon’s side, “this is my boyfriend, Park Sunghoon.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Sunghoon says, shaking your father’s hand.
“You too, son,” your father says, “anyone who can make my daughter this happy is okay in my book.”
Sunghoon smiles, peeking down at you. “Seeing her happy makes me happy.”
Your father sends you a wink and you blush. Sunghoon takes your mother’s hand and kisses the back of her hand. “It’s a delight to meet you, Mrs. L/N, you created a wonderful daughter.”
Your mother’s laughter is light as it floats through the air. “Come on in, I’ll show you to your room and then you can unpack the car.”
Reaching for Sunghoon’s hand, you squeeze it gently as you step into your childhood home. Sunghoon squeeze your hand back, and when your parents weren’t looking, he sneaks a kiss on your temple. The love in your heart for Sunghoon swells tenfold.
After moving everything from Sunghoon’s car and into the house, your father takes Sunghoon away to tinker in the garage while you sit in the kitchen, watching your mother prepare dinner. “Remind me long you’ve been dating Sunghoon, sweetheart?” Your mother asks.
“Three weeks,” you respond.
“Oh. I didn’t know this was a new relationship. The way you spoke on the phone made it sound like you’ve been with him for a while.”
You shrug, peeling the shell of a pistachio. “We’ve known each other for a long time. Three weeks feels like three months with Sunghoon. I love him. And didn’t you tell me if you love someone, that’s more than enough?”
Your mother sighs, kneading out the dough. “I guess so. Just, be careful, Y/N, okay? I don’t want you to rush into a relationship and make a mistake that could cost your life.”
You giggle. “You don’t need to worry about me, mom, Sunghoon is the one for me.”
Your mother smiles at you from over her shoulder. “I’ll take your word for it.”
Your father enters the kitchen and kisses your mother’s cheek as he reaches for the fridge. “Sunghoon’s up in your room, Y/N, if you want to see him. We’ll call you down when dinner’s ready,” you father says. “I need some alone time with your mother.”
You dash out of the kitchen and up the stairs to your childhood room. You burst into the room and leap onto your bed, crushing Sunghoon. He groans and pushes you off him as you giggle, flopping back on the bed beside him. “How are you, Sunghoon?”
“I’m having fun. Your father is nice to talk to,” Sunghoon responds. “It’s making me miss my parents.”
You coo reach out to caress Sunghoon’s cheek. You throw your leg over Sunghoon’s waist and cuddle up to him, your hand falling down to rest on his chest. You close your eyes and begin to doze off, feeling relaxed and comfortable in Sunghoon’s embrace, but your boyfriend shakes you awake.
“Y/N,” he says softly. “I have something for you.” He gently pulls you upright and turns to shift through his overnight bag. It doesn’t take long for him to procure a small jewelry box and you gasp softly as Sunghoon turns to you with a big grin on his face.
“I saw this at the jewelry store yesterday. Jake was shopping for his mom since her birthday is coming up. I saw this and thought of you.” He opens the box and you gasp, staring at the thin gold ring sitting between the cushions.
Sunghoon takes it out and you hold out your hand. “It’s a promise ring,” Sunghoon tells you softly. “You’re my forever, Y/N.”
“Oh, Sunghoon,” you admire the ring. It’s a small gold ring with a flower sitting in the middle. You don’t recognize the flower so you look at Sunghoon in question.
“It’s your birth flower, Y/N,” Sunghoon explains, pinching your chin playfully.
“Oh. I didn’t even know such a thing as birth flowers existed.”
Sunghoon laughs loudly and leans forward to kiss you. “Don’t worry, baby, I know everything about you.”
You laugh against his lips and draw him back in for a kiss. You spend the rest of your time with Sunghoon kissing him and admiring the ring in the golden sunlight until your father calls you both downstairs.
Dinner was enjoyable, though you could tell your parents felt a bit unsettled as you show them the promise ring Sunghoon got you, and how you both explained your plans to move in with each other next year. The unsettling feelings carries into the night when Sunghoon was up taking a shower and you were helping your parents clean up dinner.
“Y/N, honey,” your father starts softly. “Don’t you think you’re rushing this relationship?”
You glance up from where you were washing the dishes. “What? No? I love Sunghoon, and I want to be with him forever.”
Your parents share a look. “Y/N,” your mother says, “are you sure?”
“Why are you being like this?” You ask your parents, placing down the brush you were using to wash the dishes. “Shouldn’t you be excited for me? I finally have a boyfriend who loves me and cares for me.”
Your father nods. “We are, but it just feels like you’re going too fast. You’ve only been dating for three weeks, Y/N.”
“But I love him,” you insist. “I love Sunghoon. And you’ve always told me that when I love someone, I shouldn’t let them go.”
Your mother sighs heavily. “Alright. If you believe that you and Sunghoon will last, then we’ll back off.”
“But don’t say that we didn’t warn you,” your father adds.
You finish washing the dishes in silence. You don’t bid your parents goodnight as you walk up to your room, your mood sour. Sunghoon was already in bed, tucked beneath the covers as he scrolled through his phone, probably replying to the group chat he has with his friends.
“Hey,” you mutter, pulling out your pajamas.
“Hey,” Sunghoon responds, placing down his phone. “Are you okay, Y/N?”
“No,” you respond tersely, changing out of your clothes and into your pajamas in front of Sunghoon. “My parents were being annoying.”
“Oh?”
“I’ll tell you about it after I finish washing up.” You grab your toothbrush and face wash and dash over to the bathroom next to your room, not wanting to bump into your parents. After finishing washing up, you crawl into bed with Sungoon and curl up next to him.
“What’s on your mind, Y/N?” Sunghoon brushes a hand through your hair.
“My parents think we’re moving too fast,” you grumble. “They’re trying to tell me what to do in our relationship. It’s annoying.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Sunghoon says gently. “Would you like me to talk to them?”
You shake your head. “No, it’s okay, Sunghoon. Let’s just sleep. We’ll have them convinced that we aren’t rushing this relationship by the end of the week.”
Sunghoon kisses your forehead and helps you lie down before pulling you close against his chest. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
“Goodnight, Sunghoon.”
You didn’t get much sleep. You were standing in front of the milk at the nearby supermarket zoning out. After your mother asked you to get some milk, you began your slow, sleepy walk down to the nearest supermarket.
Sunghoon has been silent all morning and you hope what you told him last night didn’t ruin his mood for the rest of the trip. Finally snapping out of your daze, you grab the milk your mother asked for, approached the register and paid.
You took your time walking home, enjoying the fresh morning air. You begin to plan how to prove to your parents that you and Sunghoon’s relationship wouldn’t crash and burn in a few years. So far, the plan you thought of wasn’t exactly going to prove to your parents that you and Sunghoon were a forever couple, but as your unlock the front door, you realize that you don’t need your parents’ approval. It’s your life. Not theirs.
Putting the milk away, you realize how quiet the house is and a chill creeps up your spine. “Mom?” You call out, “dad?” There’s no response. “Sunghoon?” You search the first floor, but your parents were nowhere to be found. Climbing the stairs, you stay alert.
Sunghoon wasn’t in your room, and your parents weren’t in theirs either. You notice the bathroom door was shut and your heart begins to race. You hope that maybe your mother and father left to go on their morning walk and Sunghoon was taking a shower.
Pushing open the door to the bathroom you smell the metallic smell of blood before you see the scene in front of you. Your parents lay lifeless on the bathroom floor, their abdomen split open with the amount of stab wounds issued to their upper body. Blood is spilled across the floor, all over the cabinet and the white walls.
Sunghoon was on his knees, hovering over your father as he slashes at his chest a few more times. “Sunghoon,” you whimper, your knees almost giving out.
The knife he was holding drops to the floor. He looks up at you and you gasp once again. Blood covers his face, it drips down his cheeks and his chin. You watch as Sunghoon reaches up to wipe the blood of his face, but his hand was also bloody. He drags his bloody hand across his mouth, getting rid of no blood. It was futile for him to wipe his bloody hand across his mouth. His hand drops back down into the pool of blood surrounding Sunghoon and your knees finally give out.
You collapse, your hands splashing the blood pooling at the entrance of the bathroom. “Sunghoon,” you whisper. You can’t take your eyes off the lifeless bodies of your mom and dad. “What did you do?”
Sunghoon beckons you over. Your body automatically moves to Sunghoon, blood seeping into the fabric of your jeans. Sunghoon’s bloody hands come up to cup your face. The blood is cool against your face, but you don’t flinch away from Sunghoon.
He leans down and kisses you. All you can taste is the blood of your parents but you don’t push Sunghoon away. You sink into the embrace of his kiss as you’re overcome with emotion you can’t describe.
“I did this for you,” Sunghoon whispers, his bloody forehead touching yours.
“For me?” You whisper back.
“Everything I do is for you, Y/N,” Sunghoon kisses you again. You grip his bloody t-shirt tightly. You don’t care about your dead parents. A small part of your brain is happy they’re dead. Now, you won’t be subjected to their judgemental stares for the rest of spring break. “If I can’t have you, no one can, Y/N. I promise you that.”
“I love you, Sunghoon,” you whisper, finally embracing Sunghoon and all of his craziness. Sunghoon would kill for you. He’s proven himself over and over again. “You’ll only ever have me.”
“I know,” Sunghoon whispers back, his hand touching your hair.
“You’d do anything for me, Sunghoon?” You ask.
“Anything,” Sunghoon answers, his lips brushing over yours.
“Good,” you smile.
Tumblr media
author’s note, hey…..that was. a lot. idk what overcame me when i wrote this tbh. i was possessed by the ghost of sunghoon in the concept film😊 anyway. i hope you enjoyed this fic! idk if i liked the pacing of it but. oh well. also i dont even think this fic had a plot?? it was just me writing while thinking of sunghoon😭 guys i promise one day i will post a Happy fic on tumblr with no death or murder or ambiguous endings🫶 anyways in case u wanted to know; sunghoon and y/n live happily ever after. idc if its inaccurate but sunghoon never gets caught murdering random people who touch y/n🤷‍♀️ anyways leave ur thoughts! i’d love to read them🩷
541 notes · View notes
viv-weylin · 1 month
Text
Some thoughts about Shilo (and a lot of my thoughts about the aromantic reading of him)
Okay, so Shilo has been a character that's been spinning in my head pretty constantly. This isn't going to be organized but rather kind of just. Thoughts.
I see a lot of people interpret Shilo as a purely innocent person who has done no wrong wet cat, and yeah! He is! But the thing is, he's... done wrong. He's a vampire. There's something inherently evil in all vampires, and i believe this misconception stems from people not knowing the vtm lore. In VTM, all vampires have a beast inside of them, and this beast is inherently evil and cruel and animalistic, which is the part that forces vampires to feed. Shilo hasn't frenzied, he's never lost control of this beast but the fact he has one is enough to make him "not purely innocent", I'd argue he thinks he's innocent and hasn't done wrong but keep in mind he has zero hestitation throwing guards to die. He's indirectly killed several times, and that's not really something we can ignore when thinking about shilo.
He's also incredibly manipulative. He has no worries dominating or manipulating people for his own gain, and again, this comes from his sheltered life. This comes from him simply not knowing any better, but even then, this is a major flaw that i feel some people dont think about.
Shilo isn't rapunzel, Rapunzel isn't a killer, and she isn't manipulative with a disregard for people's lives. That is to say Shilo isn't pure evil, but rather, he's a morally grey character. He's killed, and he's manipulated, but you could argue that it came from a place of not knowing any better, but even then, he's still killed and manipulated. Do you see where the interesting moral dichotomy lies? Is he at fault for the evil he does if he doesn't know any better. I just dont like the "purely good" Shilo takes I've seen some people have.
The aromantic stuff:
I think it's rather well known I'm an aroace shilo truther (if im being honest, i have a distaste for armored pheasant to an extent, but that is not what this is about). I feel as if that's a rather crucial part of his character, and it's not unsubstantiated. He quite literally says he's incapable of having romantic feelings, and in the newest episode (i am not caught up, forgive me), I've heard there's more he says that hints towards this aromantic reading. He's had zero interest in romance, and the fact he was bloodbonded to Edward without his consent can have rather interesting implications that I believe could be expanded on. A lot of aromantics know that feeling of being told "I can fix you" or whatever and Shilo parallels it quite well with the experience he has had with Edward. Below is the quote where he says he's incapable of romantic love.
(This is my own personal opinion but I believe his character is also sort of dumbed down once someone ships him with Grefgore. A lot of people did from the get go, and I get and see the appeal but I also think they're better as friends but again, personal opinion and I don't care if you ship them but his character falls into the "only interesting for the shipping to the fandom" pit quite easily.)
There's something incredibly validating to have a character like Shilo, who's kind and silly and aromantic if that makes sense. Aromantic representation has been lackluster, and most representation is god awful (coughLovelesscough) so having Shilo would be really nice. He's not canon representation, yes. Unless Bizly straight up confirms it, it's just implied representation but come on. It's right there guys. Give us an aro win.
His character has a lot of interesting bits: a character who's only experience with the world is through media & book (hashtag autism), a character who's incredibly cruel yet kind, a character blind to his own flaws, an aromantic character who loves despite. Give me more morally grey Shilo, more guilty Shilo and most of all. More Aromantic Shilo.
83 notes · View notes
bonefall · 1 month
Note
heyyyy bonefallll!!! So uhm. Wind released. And if you read it, what do you think of it?
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I started ASC off with a lot of excitement. I had known to not get my hopes up, but for the first time in a long time, I felt like they actually had something meaningful to say about the problems in Clan society. For once, it felt fresh.
A conflict based on a murder mystery and a power struggle, political radicalization within another Clan with anti-Clanswapper bigotry turning violent, and the reluctant heir of a legacy sprawling several generations. Like a dark echo of TPB, implying the root issues had never been truly addressed by Darkest Hour. The Clans still have a terrible ruling system. The culture is still bigoted. Firestar failed to destroy the obsession with legacy-- he just founded a new bloodline.
And even if it wasn't THAT deep, it was at least a grounded plot that was based in the characters more than faith in StarClan. If Nightheart's arc about legacy fell apart, I'd still enjoy watching him struggle, lose people, grow, and find his purpose. Or seeing Splashtail juggle the power he'd managed to snatch and was just not smart enough to hold onto. Or the cool fights that would surely result from an invasion of RiverClan.
Wind tossed it. It was already having a downturn in the previous book, but this is a book that seems so afraid of having interesting conflict that it spends 75% of its time debating if something interesting should happen, and 25% of its time barking, "EVIL HEATHENS WHO HATE GOD WILL DESTROY OUR SOCIETY!!"
I can't get over how awful Splashtail's "descent" is. He's having a dumbass atheist stoner debate with Podlight when they go to the Moonpool, musing that maybe you have to eat 9 mice to get 9 lives, and then 2 appearances later he's foaming at the mouth with a dictator speech and kills harelight no miss.
They even seem to have tried to replicate Stonefur's execution but badly. It's jarring. Splashtail had a big dictator speech, killed the beloved deputy suddenly, and the whole camp looks Super Scared and Upset so that you know it's the Evil Leader and not a systemic problem.
His "TALENT FOR MANIPULATION" is saying he heard Curlfeather murmur evil plans in her sleep and (apropos of nothing) accusing her teenage daughter of "getting the wrong idea" about his adult romantic interest in her. I keep coming back to this because the ENTIRE book's plot is based on this successfully smearing Frostpaw's reputation.
you may be tired of hearing it, but I'm definitely more tired than you because I had to read and analyze an ENTIRE BOOK founded on it.
The plot is endlessly arguing over if they can trust Frostpaw or not, gathering "evidence" to this end, while Sunbeam and Nightheart's POVs uselessly languish in ThunderClan doing mentoring stuff.
Im SO sick of being forced to sit in thunderclan while more interesting things happen offscreen. stop adding MORE cats to ThunderClan, you already have Stormcloud and you do NOTHING with him why are they also getting WAFFLEPAW
Everyone's praising the fact that the book can remember previous entries, but actually, I'm going to drop a hot take; It's actually bad if they CAN obviously reference old material, and then it doesn't influence the actions the characters take. They namedrop Nightstar several times and then come up with excuses for why they still need to sit around and do nothing!!
THAT'S WORSE, ACTUALLY.
SCALDING TAKE, I'd RATHER see the cats have the memories of goldfish if the alternative is "We remember Nightstar! We're simply going to purposefully disregard Nightstar, because the plot needs to happen"
They also muse that maybe Splashtail's evilness is making all the RiverClan cats act evil, and they'll go back to normal once he's removed. This has been implied before, but never so blatantly stated.
But most of all, I can't stop going back to "Godless Heathen Bloodlust." What a fucking joke. For a shining minute it looked like we were going to have interesting villains, but no, they really are just coming out and saying that lacking faith is an indicator of a moral failing. What makes Splashtail so uniquely bad and scary is that he "disrespects the ancestors" (hey podlight. what if eating 9 magic mice gives you 9 lives? woah dude look at this. the bugle chips look like claws. lol haha) and hates love and peace and won't even let Jesus guide him.
The scenes with Frostpaw and her allies are the only parts of this book worth reading. Shadowsight, tigerHeartstar. Clinging to Whistlepaw like she's a life preserver. save me windclan
92 notes · View notes
kaiju-krew · 1 month
Note
Hey there! Firstly, big big fan of your art and headcanons, ty for your cool and awesome big brain ❤️ Now that you’ve seen the movie, I’m wondering what your thoughts are on Shimo??? I’ve just seen impressions of her so scattered. (I saw your post on how she will NOT be treated as a pet, and I so appreciate that.)
I will say, for me the ‘old gal’ vibes are so strong and I’m here for it. Like when Goji blasts his atomic breath into the sky at the end and she’s looking at it with such awe and her cute super gummy smile, it reminds me of when a grandma gets shown some common piece of technology that the rest of us are used to, but she just can’t heckin believe it because she lives in a damn cave??? I loved that.
hi hi! omg u think i have a big brain...... compliment of the century.... i must have ppl fooled bcuz i am viscerally dumb most of the time
anywAYS. gxk spoilers below (and a lot of ranting)
shimo my beloved💙 i appreciate most interpretations of her, besides people who are just straight up caling her a dog. and like, not in the way i’d compare goji to a cat? for me it's more mannerisms based, so for goji my main expression/mannerism inspirations are cats, wolves, and komodo dragons (obviously), and for mosu it's owls and cats, with a crumb of horses because of their 'ear' communication so i use that with her antennae.
sorry for tangent but anyways. i dont need someone barking at me that i call goji a cat/draw him acting like a cat so calling shimo ‘kong’s pet dog’ is fine. i think its the difference between goji having the personality i characterize him with + mannerisms inspired by other animals, vs. him having no personality besides Being A Cat. like, he’s a dumbfuck but he’s clearly an intelligent creature capable of communication and understanding. i make a lot of shitposts but truly in my personal hc i’d never reduce him to ‘pet level intelligence’
i think i’m extra touchy about people calling her ‘kong’s pet’ because like. dawg. did you watch the movie? she was JUST freed from being skar’s slave/beast of burden/abused pet whatever you wanna call it. why would you want her to become another creature’s pet again?(obviously minus the abuse) idk mannn it just feels…. reductive somehow. she clearly shows intelligence and understanding when she realizes what’s happening during the fight and helps to kill skar. i just refuse to reduce her entire character to kong’s pet status bcuz that makes me uncomfortable asf.
as a disclaimer, you’re welcome to have whatever hc you enjoy. me expressing my personal thoughts on the matter isn’t an attack on anyone who characterizes her that way, i’m just not interested in engaging with it in the slightest.
DOUBLE ANYWAYS i just needed to get that outta my system. TIME FOR CUTE FUN IDEAS YAHOOO
i’m seeing mixed info about her age so idk where she actually sits there?? i remember seeing something like she’s the First Titan but i also think the novelization of the movie said she’s only 3 million years old?? when im p sure they’ve said goji is 250+ million years old so…. i have no clue there lol. personally she feels less jaded and grumpy than goji does to me so my brain automatically sees her as similar or younger bcuz of my Grumpy Old Man bias.
i’m still workin out my ideas for her but based on how the movie ends i like to think she helps kong with relocating the apes to a better home, and they mostly live in HE. her n kong venture up for surface dates bcuz she gets what she fucking deserves 💙
goji nearly has an aneurysm the first time they come up, since mosu literally takes them for a lil tour of monster island. bro standing there clenching his fist like the arthur meme, he begrudgingly knows she’s right and eventually he gets used to it
i got more ideas cookin for her but this post is already too damn long cuz of my ranting time to stfu
SHIMO BEST GIRL 10/10
93 notes · View notes
wandanatsthings · 3 months
Note
Can I make a request of being a secret cuddle bear and would instantly run to Wanda everytime she comes after a tiring mission? Fluff please! 🩷
𝐒𝐍𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐆
Hey, anon I hope this is what you wanted and that you and everyone else enjoy it as well. and remember clinginess is adorable and I love all my snuggle bugs!! Feedback is more than welcomed. New writer
(P.s Im dyslexic i'm trying my best)
Word count: 1.1k
Warnings: I really don't think there are any maybe missing someone and clingy reader? It’s just really fluffy!!
Summary: Wanda gets home from a tiring mission to a very snuggly reader who missed her.
Tumblr media
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wanda’s Pov
I had just gotten home from a tiring mission that involved a lot of heavy lifting. Everything went fine but I had to pick up a lot of heavy things with my fingers and I know It may seem like nothing but not only does that take a lot out of me physically but mentally as well. All I wanted was to cuddle up with you. I had some making up to do after how early I left you this morning for said mission.
When I walked through the door of our apartment. I saw you lying on the sofa in the living room wearing my favorite burgundy hoodie with white and gray stripes on the sleeves. You also happened to have on my favorite gray sweatpants to match. You loved wearing my clothes, you said it made you feel closer to me which I thought was so utterly precious.
As I approached you I saw our pet cat (Someone should name the cat) jump off your lap to come and greet me. “Hi sweet girl, did you watch over your mama hmm,” I said bending down to pet the fluffy cat that by the looks of it had been given just one too many treats. I heard TV playing so I looked up to see that you were watching my favorite sitcom “The dick van dyke show.” Before we started dating you had no interest in sitcoms and said that they were too “cheesy” but with a lot of convincing, I got you to watch one episode with me and from then on you've been hooked. I might even go as far as to say you liked them more than me. When I walked closer towards you I saw you had dried tears running down your face.
My heart broke at the sight. You had always taken it hard when I had to leave you alone for anything. Whether that be a mission or just to go to the bathroom you hated when I left you by yourself; If you could be with me then you were and to be honest I had no problem with that. Deciding that I was no longer going to make you go through the torture of my skin not being on yours. I reach down and place a hand on your cheek with a soft kiss on your forehead. “Detka…detka love wake up im home.”
That was enough to wake you up. You were never a deep sleeper unless I was sleeping with you, you could sleep almost anything then. It was something about me being close to you that made you feel safe you once said that time I asked. You opened your eyes, squinting a little to adjust to the light.
As soon as you noticed that it was me, you immediately jumped up from your place on the sofa and wrapped your arms around my neck and legs around my waist. “You're home, I missed you!” You exclaimed a smile taking over your face, erasing any evidence of the tears that once took that smile's place. “Yes I am home and I missed you, more sweet girl,” I said while placing my arms under your thighs making sure you wouldn’t fall as I made my way over to sit in the chair that was in the corner by the TV. “How was the mission? Are you hurt or anything?” You asked while checking me over. “No no I'm fine don’t worry love, the mission went well. I'm tired but okay I promise.” I say holding out my pinky finger knowing that pinky promising would be the only way to ease your anxiety.
“What about you hm? How are you, what'd you do while I was gone?” I asked you to bring your head to my chest. “I didn’t do much. Just watched TV, took a nap, and waited for you.” You said looking up at me with your y/e/c eyes through your lashes. “Mm that sounds peaceful, how about we continue that minus the waiting for me of course after lunch? Have you eaten yet?” “No, I haven’t, I was trying to wait for you.” You reply. “Okay let's go have some lunch and then we’ll continue your amazing peaceful day. How does that sound?” I asked, looking down at you in my lap. You nodded up at me. “Sounds good.”
With that, I stand up off the chair with you still in my arms kola style not even thinking about having you let go knowing that would just upset you. It was a task making us lunch with you in my arms but not impossible. We make our way to the dining room table with you holding one plate and me holding the other.
I set you down in your usual seat that is straight across from mine. I picked up my fork ready to dig into the Caesar salads I prepared for lunch when I noticed you were pouting and not even attempting to start eating. “What’s wrong with love?” I asked you with patience in my voice. You look up with the face you do anytime you want something. “Can I sit in your lap and eat please?” I look at you with nothing but love on my face. “Of course, you can love to get over here,” I say while pushing my chair back to make room for you. You clamber in my lap already with your frown turned right side up making it into a smile digging into your lunch. When we finish lunch I get you off my lap so I can put our dishes in the sink to be washed later. I then grab your hand so that we can head upstairs to finish the rest of our day with cuddles.
When we get to our room I head off into the closet so that I can change into something more comfortable. While taking off my shirt, I feel you come up behind me and wrap your arms around my waist. “What are you doing lovely?” I ask, sounding muffled because of the shirt covering my face. “Um, I have an idea.” I hear you sound nervous. “Oh yeah and what’s that?” I ask while taking my shirt off completely. “Do you think we could cuddle naked? I just really wanna feel your skin on mine.” I look down at you and say. “I would love to cuddle naked with you.” We both walk over to the bed while taking off our clothes on the way. When we reach the bed we get under the covers. I bring you into my chest and within minutes you're asleep. I gently kiss your forehead “You will forever be my snuggle bug.” I say then drift off to sleep myself without a thought or worry.
84 notes · View notes
nametakensff · 9 days
Text
Cat For Grabs (D/isco E/lysium) (M)
Okay, here is 4.3k of cat allergy K/im K/itsuragi because why the fuck not 🐈‍⬛️💞
J/ean and K/im arrive on scene at a murder, where the victim's pet cat takes a particular liking to K/im. Allergic misery ensues
(Set in the kind of AU I've cobbled together where H/arry and K/im are an item, maybe like 8 months post M/artinaise. They hook up with J/ean regularly)
~~~~~
Content:
M/M/M mentioned and ongoing but mostly in the bg, cat allergy sneezes, spray, handkerchiefs, rapid sneezes, stifles, nose blows, mentions of anal sex, mentions of hay fever sneezes, mentions of blowjobs, H/arry has a sneezing fetish (but he isn't here), J/ean and K/im flirt a lot
CW: Graphic descriptions of a dead body at a crime scene, K/im performs a brief autopsy, mentions of gun violence, they are cops so you know. Just doing cop things
NSFW - Minors DNI!
Jean was the first to arrive on the scene, alone. Absolutely not ideal – he was at real risk of danger if the shooter – or multiple shooters – were still on the property. The precinct was in absolute maelstrom - an unprecedented amount of crime this week, even for Jamrock. Jean had driven here by himself once he realised Harry was entirely incapacitated. He’d fixed him a look of annoyance until the older man had returned it with a look of his own that said ‘please don’t be mad at me, I’m drowning.’
Jean had sent out a general radio request for backup to any nearby officers for this apparent shooting, which had taken place in a fairly quiet and respectable part of town. He’d been grateful to hear Kim’s confirmation that he would be there within minutes, as well as some other patrol officers affirming the same. Jean should have waited outside, perhaps, but he had a gut feeling as he pulled up to the small, bungalow-style apartment that it was empty. A quick search with his gun held steadily in front of him confirmed that he was entirely alone.
Unless you counted the gory remains of the sole resident splayed out on the kitchen floor.
“Well.” He said to the corpse, nudging its ankle with the toe of his boot. “You’re certainly very dead.”
The metallic scent of blood in the air was overwhelming. An even more overwhelming and unpleasant scent of sewage indicated that the bullets littering the torso of the corpse had also passed through the colon multiple times. Jean wrinkled his nose and covered it with his hand. He almost wished his hay fever was still hindering his ability to smell.
But god, this was a bloody, violent murder. The surrounding cabinets were littered with bullet holes that appeared to have been sprayed in wide arcs across the room indiscriminately. It had to be the work of an automatic weapon. Jean spared another glance at the corpse, then made his way back into the living room. Poor guy didn’t stand a chance.
He thought it better to wait for Kim to perform a conclusive field autopsy. He didn’t want to leave himself distracted and vulnerable to any potential attacks by performing one alone now. And, if Jean was being honest with himself, Kim had a stronger stomach for corpses - perhaps thanks to his time and experience in Processing - and a markedly weaker sense of smell. He glanced at his watch. Shouldn’t be more than a few minutes.
He peered round the room. It always felt intrusive entering people’s apartments like this if he had spare time to overthink. This particular home was exceptionally drab; hardly any items or photographs to indicate personality or interests. Just ugly greys and browns and lumpy furniture. There were a few books stacked on a coffee table, but their covers looked just as banal as everything else.
A sudden shuffling sound to his left made Jean jump and reach for his gun. He looked round frantically, cursing himself and half expecting to see some crazed gunman crouched behind one of the armchairs, ready to mow him down like the man in the kitchen. Thank the lord, he did not. What he did see, however, was a visibly well-fed cat with thick black fur emerging from underneath a nearby bookshelf. Heart beating wildly in his chest, he let out a long sigh of relief and regarded the doddering approach of the supremely rotund animal. Come to think of it, he had noticed a litter-box in the bathroom.
The cat slumped at his feet, looking incredibly at ease and not at all as if its owner’s bullet-riddled corpse was resting in a pool of his own red-black blood just one room over. It mewed at him, butting his boot with its head before rolling onto its side. Jean couldn’t resist kneeling down and getting closer. He scratched gently behind an ear and smiled as the tip of a little white fang stuck out of the cat’s closed mouth, giving it an endearingly goofy appearance. A small blue collar was secured round its neck (no bell, just his luck) with a metal nametag hanging from a loop of metal. He lifted the tag up with his thumb and forefinger to examine it.
“’Beau’.” He read the name out loud. “Well, you are a handsome boy, aren’t you?” He cooed down at it, stroking it from head to tail once it was clear he wouldn’t be leaving the encounter in receipt of a mauling.
Around thirty seconds later, he could hear the familiar rumble of an approaching Coupris motor car. He kept his hand on his gun just in case, allowing his arm to drop to his side when Kim made his way through the living room door, gun outstretched before him. His orange bomber jacket was a sight for sore eyes against the surrounding bleak topography. Once Kim spotted Jean on the floor looking back up at him, he lowered his own gun in relief.
“My apologies, Detective Vicquemare – I came as fast as I could, there was some congestion nearby.” He peered at the cat for a moment, then back at Jean’s face. “The premises is secure, correct?”
“Would I be on my knees playing with a cat if it wasn’t?” Jean muttered, scratching under the cat’s little chin and smiling in adoration as it closed its eyes in pleasure. “We have a single body, in the kitchen.”
Kim nodded, holstering his weapon and scanning the living room with a perfunctory glance. The cat shifted under Jean’s broad palm, turning to face the source of this most recent disturbance. The second the lethargic feline lay eyes on Kim, it jumped to its feet and strode away from Jean and towards the Lieutenant, tail raised high. Kim froze in his tracks and glanced down in what looked to Jean like mild dismay as it drew closer. The cat began without a moment’s hesitation to wind itself lovingly between Kim’s ankles, nuzzling into his legs and pressing every inch of itself against him. It meowed loudly between little rumbles and purrs.
Jean couldn’t deny that it was both an endearing and amusing sight. The cat had certainly been friendly enough to accept his pets, but for whatever reason, it appeared to be especially enamoured with Kim. He didn’t think the feeling was reciprocated; Kim lifted an ankle, tsking as the cat, instead of moving away as intended, reached up with its front paws until Kim put the foot back down. It then resumed its figure 8 of adoration whilst Kim looked down in a gentle kind of exasperation.
“He really likes you.” Jean smiled at Kim, getting to his feet and brushing cat hair from the knees of his uniform.
“I can see that.” Kim did smile softly then, regarding the happy little creature, but made no move to reach down and stroke it. If Jean had been on the receiving end of that magnitude of love from a cat, he would have scooped it up into his arms in seconds.
“Not a fan of cats?”                     
Kim looked up at him for a moment, then back down at the cat, frowning slightly as it increased the intensity of both its purring and nudging.
“It’s not that. I like them well enough. It’s j-just…!”
His breath wavered, and Jean watched as he brought a gloved fist up to his face. He recognised the desperation of the pre-sneeze expression on the Lieutenant, and patiently waited for him to finish. Under normal circumstances and with anybody else, he probably would have looked away for the sake of the other person’s dignity - but he’d seen Kim sneeze more than enough times in extremely abnormal circumstances to bother with any pretence.
He didn’t share Harry’s interest in sneezing in the quite the same way, but there was an element of enjoyment in watching Kim fall apart. No matter how he sliced it, he couldn’t deny the analogous nature of sneezing and orgasming; Harry had long since hammered that into him. And so, he watched with a certain degree of appreciation as Kim’s eyebrows drew up and his jaw fell open in surrender, before his entire expression cinched tight, the tickle cresting.
“Hh! Hh’gxkt! Ng’xt! Hh’Ddtch!! NGxt’tsziew!”
They were quiet, polite and almost perfectly restrained – much like the Lieutenant himself. Both he and Kim were prone to multiple sneezes, but it seemed to take a lot more out of the older man to strangle them into submission. Jean had always sneezed in small, ticklish fits that rarely resolved the irritation without multiple repetitions. Every now and then he was prone to a more productive and vigorous sneeze, especially following prolonged attacks that forced him to take in a final, desperate gasp of oxygen to round off the fit. It didn’t make too much of a difference to him physically whether he stifled them into silent little shivers or not. It honestly depended on company whether he would bother.
He wasn’t sure why Kim bothered holding back when it was just the two of them. He’d save himself a lot of congestion and sniffling down the line if he let those sneezes out now - Jean could honestly say he knew that from numerous past observations. But he wouldn’t mention it - it was best to leave Kim alone and let him do what he wanted. He was a bit of a control freak – not that Jean could really fault him for that, being a stubborn ass himself – so there was no point in nagging him. He himself hated when others commented on his frequent and persistent sneezing, especially when his allergies were killing him. Most of the Major Crimes unit now knew to leave him well alone, particularly on his most miserable – and therefore volatile – hay fever days.
With the exception of Harry, of course. In a completely inconvenient and Pavlovian fashion, he had almost come to associate his hay fever with sexual gratification. Both he and Harry knew his initial rejections of Harry’s advances were merely for show, and a matter of pride. Every time his superior officer would sidle up to him and suggest they find some privacy, he would eventually break and let the older man fuck him, or suck his cock. He may as well get an orgasm out of the endless torture that plagued him throughout late spring and summer. It wasn’t even that bad, being fucked and sneezing your head off at the same time. Aggravatingly, if he were to be honest, it was actually rather fun. He supposed he was more or less an expert at this point.
Kim was more recently initiated into the whole fucking and sneezing thing. For what it was worth, he seemed like a perfectly kinky motherfucker who enjoyed watching Harry squirm. And there was almost no better way to do that than to tease him with this fetish, which Kim took to like a duck in water. Jean had to admit whenever the three of them fucked around and Harry inevitably begged to be indulged, it was reassuring – and very fun – to know that they had the numbers against him. Brothers in arms. God, what a life.
Kim lowered his fist with a shaky exhale, looking worn out by the onslaught for just a moment before his regular placid countenance was restored. His nostrils flared briefly with an audibly damp sniffle.
“À tes souhaits.” Jean offered.
“Merci.”
Kim looked up at him and flashed him a sheepish sort of ‘haha. Look at us. Sneezing in the wild’ conspiratorial glance. Jean smirked at him.
“As I was saying. I don’t dislike cats. I just dislike that they tend to make me sneeze.”
Jean nodded and looked round at the flat. Cat hair covered most surfaces, if only sparsely. A beam of sunlight coming through one of the narrow windows illuminated a few stray hairs dancing round on the currents of air. He winced a little in sympathy. The sight even made his own nose tickle a little; he subconsciously reached up to rub the side of it with a crooked finger.
“You’re shit out of luck, then. It’s cat hair heaven in here.”
Kim sighed wearily, accepting his fate. As if picking up at last on Kim’s less-than-satisfied state of being, the cat paused in its motions to drape itself over the toes of Kim’s boots and glance up at him with a sweet ‘Mroww’, which Jean could swear lilted up in pitch as if to question the Lieutenant. Kim looked down at the cat with soft eyes.
“It’s not your fault, little one. Don’t worry.”
He hesitated for a moment before reaching down and gingerly stroking the top of the cat’s head with a gloved hand. It was an awkward and brief motion; he pulled back before the cat could nuzzle its docile head into his palm. Both Jean and Kim watched as even the minor scritches unearthed a tiny cloud of soft black fur. Kim jerked upright almost violently, and Jean had to stifle a laugh.
“I’ll be paying for that in a while,” Kim sighed again, rolling a pair of black nitrile gloves over his leather ones with a pleasing snap. He gently shifted the cat off the toes of his boots one foot at a time; it went easily, seemingly exhausted by its own outpouring of affection and allowing itself to sink into the carpet like a puddle of fur. It really was a lazy motherfucker. Jean was quite in love with it.
“Excusez-moi.” Kim muttered as he stepped over the liquid pile of cat, purring happily in its heap.
He looked up at Jean as he made his way over, doing a small double-take as he noticed the way Jean was beaming at him.
“What?” His lips quirked up ever so subtly, thankfully taking the taller officer’s grin in good humour.
“Nothing. You’re just cute with animals. Awkward.”
Kim just smiled at him, warmly.  
“I should really get to work.” He said, moving past Jean into the kitchen. “In here, you said?”
“Yep.” Jean followed behind him. He could see that the numerous rotations the cat had made around Kim’s legs had deposited a great deal of soft black fur sticking to the camo. He would help Kim get rid of it all before he got back into his MC. He watched as Kim knelt next to the body, careful to avoid the coagulating puddle of blood that spread outwards on the cheap linoleum floor.
“Have you had a chance to examine the victim?” Kim ran his hand over the chest of the body – it was practically shredded through with bullet wounds. He performed a brief ‘Stations of the Breath’ ritual before resuming his inspection.
“Not extensively, but enough to see all of this.” Jean gestured to the wounds and the endless shards of glass spanning the ground. “Looks like he was shot through the window with an automatic rifle. He fell onto the glass, and some of it is implanted following the initial explosion of the window shattering. Most of, but not all of the blood is from the bullet wounds.”
Kim nodded, inspecting the body more thoroughly. Jean continued.
“He looks to have died around the time that gunshots were reported forty-five minutes ago. Definitely not long enough for his cat to start eating his face.”
Kim wrinkled his nose at that, uttering a small sound of disgust.
“Gross.”
“Not as gross as this mess.”
Kim nodded his head in grim recognition. He dictated notes to Jean as he conducted the examination but couldn’t find anything counter to Jean’s initial conclusions. The cause of death and injuries to the body were easily explained. The reason for this extremely violent murder – not so much. Kim extracted a wallet and driver’s license from the victim’s jeans – not a name or face either of them were familiar with from any ongoing gang related investigations.
“This was overkill.” Kim murmured, righting himself and removing the nitrile gloves. “Far too extreme for a run-of-the-mill civilian.”
“I agree.” Jean nodded. “Since the shots are from outside, and I can see no sign of disturbance inside the apartment, it doesn’t look like a break-in or burglary. I – oh.”
He paused, noticing the slight sneer Kim was wearing as he fought off another allergic tickle, nostrils flared wide. He was wildly unsuccessful, whipping round and into the raised collar of his bomber jacket seconds later with a violent series of sneezes.
“HdDDZT’Tzshieww!! Hgkt’tsh!! ‘TTSCH’uu!!”
The first one burst out of him in angry, dizzying rush of spray through teeth clenched just a moment too late to provide any effective suppression.  The next two he managed to bite down on, barely, shoulders jumping under the pressure. Jean reached out to grab him firmly by the bicep as he shook, threatening to unbalance himself and, heaven forbid, topple down onto or next to the corpse. Though not remarkably loud, the sneezes were forceful and audibly desperate. The smaller man sighed once he was done, and Jean released his arm.
“Bless you!” He offered, a little impressed by the display. He imagined Harry would have jizzed on the spot.
“Ughh, Merci. Désolé.” Kim replied, sniffling and blinking one itching eye shut. A single tear of irritation started a slow descent down his cheek. Jean reached under the frame of Kim’s glasses and swiped it away with his thumb on a whim, before realising he had been petting Beau with that same hand. He felt relieved when Kim didn’t fight him on it, perhaps not even realising his mistake.
“Carry on, detective.”
Jean continued to explain his theory surrounding the murder whilst Kim pulled out a neatly folded handkerchief and tended first to his bleary eyes, then to his twitching, irritated nostrils. The skin on their rims was left slightly pinkened after some uncharacteristically rough manhandling. He must be more allergic than he let on, Jean thought, and began leading the pair of them out of the apartment.
He jumped when in the living room Kim jerked forward with another desperate fit, halting their progression and eliciting a sudden, loud meow from Beau. Said cat watched on with expressionless green eyes from his position stretched out on the sun-warmed carpet as Kim shuddered, sneezing into the hastily raised cover of his elbow.
“Hh’GXTSsshhh!! ‘GXT’Tchieww!! HDd’TZSchh!! ‘TSCH’oo! Ahh, mon dieu.”
These sneezes were particularly viscious, wrenching themselves out of Kim and leaving him bleary-eyed and shaky in the aftermath.
“God, Kim. Bless you.” Jean offered, his hand rubbing absently at the small of the Lieutenant’s back.
“Thang’k you. Let’s go.” Kim said, snuffling into his handkerchief and walking out through the front door without a second to spare. Jean cast a glance at the cat, mewling again as its beloved Lieutenant marched away, and followed him out of the door without a word.
“Hmm. No known or suspected connections to any street gangs or drug cartels. He may have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Seen something he shouldn’t have.” Kim offered as they leant against the wall of the building. He blew his nose softly. It didn’t sound at all productive as his sinuses started to swell. “Somebody meant to silence him.”
“Maybe.” Jean took a drag on his cigarette. “But the MO is unlike any of the regular gangs in this area. I mean, a machine gun?? For one unarmed guy, at home? It’s too messy, outlandish and loud – in other words, way too risky.”
Kim nodded and paused for a moment. Jean wondered if he was going to sneeze again, but he spoke up after a beat.
“There…was another murder, a few months ago – on the other side of Jamrock, with fatal injuries confirmed to have been sustained via an automatic rifle. I’ll have to check, but the circumstances are shockingly similar. That victim also had no apparent connections to any gangs, or a previous criminal record.”
Jean made a small noise of recognition. He remembered, now – the case was still ongoing. It had intrigued both Harry and himself, but had been brushed aside as several more inflammatory and pressing cases had arisen. They’d passed it off onto some junior officers that had recently joined the Major Crimes unit, enticed by Harry’s newfound sobriety and the assurance of Kim’s fastidiousness. He would be taking that case right on back.
“That was also a murder in a residential area – some kids say they saw somebody hop a fence but couldn’t give us any more details.”
Kim looked up at him, nodding. He scrawled a couple of notes in his notebook before slipping it back into his pocket.
“We should look into that. It’s not much to go from and the cases appear unrelated, bar these few details but – we can’t afford to write it off. They’re both too irregular.”
Jean put out his cigarette on the wall next to him, ignoring Kim’s look of disapproval.
“Right. I’ll call in to the station and update them.” He looked at his watch in annoyance. “There were supposed to be more officers on the scene twenty minutes ago. Where the fuck are they?”
“Before I left the station earlier it seemed frantic – I think it’s just a particularly bad day.”
Jean grumbled but conceded. The entire reason he had arrived alone and Kim had joined him en route from another crime scene was because Harry was buried with the recent influx of crime on top of the years of unprocessed paperwork. He knew that. To Harry’s credit, he had cut down the latter a significant amount, despite the slow and confusing process of dealing with his memory returning in sporadic and often extremely stressful bursts. Jean was secretly very proud of him, if he even had any right to be.
“We need to get in contact with the victim’s relatives, if any – can you do that?” Kim asked, sounding a little shaky as he finished. Jean turned to watch him shudder into a fairly rapid-fire quadruple of sneezes.
“hh’dztch-T’zschh-Tschht! Huh-!! AESSCH’uu-!! Merde!”
He had sneezed entirely uncovered and straight out in front of him. Jean pretended not to notice the resultant light aerosol that hung in the air for a fleeting moment, glittering in the late morning sunlight. Kim clapped a hand to his face immediately afterwards as if suddenly remembering he was on public display, sighing into the leather of his glove.
“Bien sûr.” Jean answered. “And bless you, again. You’re starting to sound like I did over summer.”
Kim replaced his hand with his handkerchief, scrubbing at his pink nostrils through the soft cotton. He pushed his jostled glasses back up his nose when he was done.
“Thank you. Fucking cat hair.”
Jean smiled and lit another cigarette. It was always delightful to hear the Lieutenant drop an F bomb. He and Harry were clearly rubbing off on him.
“I’ll sort out the family – and once the other chuckle-fucks arrive, we can start questioning witnesses and get the body taken to the morgue.” Jean offered.
“Good. I need to head back to the station and submit some reports – I can relay what we’ve discussed here to Harry.”
“Great.” Jean exhaled heavily, thankful for the soothing rush of nicotine. He’d seen enough dead bodies this week to last anybody a lifetime – Kim probably twice as much. But c’est la vie. There was always another body.
“Can you wait until the cavalry arrives?” Jean asked him. “I know things are fucking batshit insane right now and you’re needed elsewhere but I’d rather not be the only officer here.” He looked pointedly at the surrounding houses and the curious faces lingering in the windows. More pressing than warding off curious bystanders, however, was the very real risk of the murderer returning to the scene and spraying him dead with bullets.
“Of course.” Kim patted his arm. “You should never have been here alone – I’m sorry I didn’t get here faster.”
“Thanks.”
They spent a couple of minutes in companionable silence, interrupted only by another small fit of sneezes from Kim and an emphatic blessing from Jean whilst they listened out for the sound of approaching sirens. Kim sniffled a couple of times while Jean was working on his third cigarette, audibly stuffed up. Jean said nothing. Harry would be fretting over Kim more than enough once he got back to the station, anyway.
“Hopefully the victim has family that can take on the cat.” Kim broke the silence.
Jean beamed at him.
“His collar said his name was ‘Beau’. You sure you don’t want to adopt him?” He smirked around his cigarette.
“Funny.” Kim deadpanned. He was struggling to pronounce his ‘n’s around the congestion.
“Maybe I’ll take him.” Jean teased. “He’s a cutie. And then he can visit you.”
“That would mark both the end of our friendship and my capacity to engage with you on any level beyond professional.”
Jean laughed.
“You’re no fun.”
“That’s not entirely true.” Kim smiled at him, voice low and flirtatious. “Don’t you dare let Harry know that a cat is up for grabs. Contrary to what I let him get away with, I do like being able to breathe through my nose.”
“Something I’ve discovered,” Jean took a drag on his cigarette before continuing. “Is that orgasms are actually pretty effective as a decongestant.” His eyes glittered as he looked over at Kim.
“Good to know.” Kim returned that look with an equally mischievous glance from behind the thick lenses of his glasses. “But I think I’ll leave Beau out of this arrangement. Three is already a crowd.”
Jean choked on his latest puff of smoke, laughing and coughing in turn. Kim looked incredibly pleased with himself.
“Compose yourself, officer. This is a crime scene.”
Jean wiped a tear of mirth from the corner of one eye.
“Yes sir.”
38 notes · View notes
mizartz · 2 years
Photo
Tumblr media
more pkmn x danny phantom stuff because i have lost control of my life
also for anyone interested in AU ramblings, please enjoy the literal essay i wrote under the cut lol
THE PREMISE:
AU where pokemon exist in the DP canon. Universes are merged, so Amity Park exists alongside Kanto/Unova/etc in their respective real world locations.
Danny’s parents research/hunt dp-verse ghosts AND ghost pokemon. Their research is focused on the ghosts of once-living creatures, and also identifying the difference between “dead” and “living” ghosts. ex. A Yamask can be born from an egg, which means it never died, but it can also be the spirit of a dead person.
While the Fentons aren’t actively trying to exterminate every ghastly or duskull, they still have some serious prejudices against ghost types, and they DEFINITELY hate dp-verse ghosts as much as in canon.
The portal accident happens normally. Danny was due to get his first pokemon around the start of freshman year, but the accident (and his now spiraling school grades) put it on hold.
Instead, Phantom is exploring the ghost zone one day and passes by a Hisuian Zorua. Danny doesn’t think much of it, but the Zorua follows him home and quickly causes trouble. It seems to have a nasty grudge against humans, playing dangerous pranks against Amity Park’s residents and forcing Danny to send it back into the zone. After several return trips, it settles down and decides that it’s more interested in this not-entirely-living-or-dead kid than getting revenge. After that decision, Zorua quickly becomes Danny’s partner.
Since Zorua are inherently timid creatures and a Hisuian variant would attract a lot of attention (not to mention Jack and Maddie’s possible reaction), Zorua is almost always disguised as something other than its true form. Seeing a Unovan Zorua on Danny’s shoulder is common, as are Rowlet and Hoothoot. No one’s really sure where Danny caught them all, but they don’t care enough to ask.
Phantom, on the other hand, can be seen at night playing with a ghostly variant of Zorua previously thought to be extinct.
PKMN TEAMS:
danny:
hisuian zorua (discussed above)
absol (stalks him for a year because Danny is a Walking Disaster and triggers all of absol’s danger senses. maybe it tried to prevent the portal accident and failed?)
jazz:
eevee (lots of potential, connections to mutations/~molecules getting all rearranged~)
parents were pushing for eevee to evolve into umbreon, but………
sam:
bulbasaur (grass type, connection to “save the frogs” episode)
shiny purrloin (technically the family pet, but is fond of sam)
tucker:
helioptile (generates electricity, connections to desert and ”hotep ra” episode)
rotom (initially a pest who possesses his tech, later forms a rotom phone relationship)
maddie:
weavile (intelligent, vicious hunter. has hands to help out in the lab)
houndoom (hunter, pack animal, loyal)
jack:
slaking (lazy and unassuming but very powerful. has hands to help out in the lab)
porygon2 maybe? (gift from vlad with the intention of hacking their systems)
^^^ weavile and slaking are maddie and jack’s starters. houndoom and porygon2 are bonded to the whole fenton family rather than one particular person.
vlad:
crobat (vampiric, requires friendship- aka vlad isn’t completely evil)
skitty (nicknamed maddie)
noivern (vampiric, violent and cruel but can be tamed. maybe it bonds to Danny and defects?)
hydreigon (destructive and overwhelmingly powerful)
shiny charizard
also probably like a dozen dreepy/dragapult
^^^ most of vlad’s pokemon are just displays of wealth and power. he hasn’t seriously bonded with any of them except for crobat, his starter, and skitty, his “sister’s cat”.
also a note that im not necessarily choosing pkmn that perfectly match a character’s theme or aesthetics, but instead ones that are realistic for them to have in this universe!
WORLDBUILDING NOTES:
Starter pokemon are gifted by the child’s parents. Traditional starters like charmander/bulbasaur/squirtle are only available to those sponsored by a prominent pkmn lab and/or rich parents.
Having a full team is rare unless you’re a full time trainer… it’s just too expensive to house and feed them. On a similar note, shinies are basically unheard of unless you’re stupidly rich.
Pokemon journeys are still considered a rite of passage, but aren’t a universal experience. Not everyone participates, and those who do usually only get 1-2 badges before quitting. The average age for new trainers is around 13-16, though legally you can start at 10.
Amity Park is a ghostly hot spot just like Kanto’s lavender town. There are a few gravesites, but not nearly enough to justify the amount of activity it receives.
The ghost zone primarily contains “dead” ghosts, but “living” ghost pkmn are attuned to the zone and use natural portals to traverse the world.
The Fenton family’s pokemon are all either dark or normal type, for type effectiveness and immunity against ghosts respectively. Any pokemon they give to their children will follow the same type theme in the hopes that they will join the ghost hunting business.
Danny:
was very excited to start his pkmn journey, but with his new ghost instincts demanding he protect Amity Park, he can’t see it happening anymore. Also, while Zorua gradually grows more confident and helps Danny with ghost fights, it still hates having human attention drawn to it and wouldn’t enjoy the publicity of gym battling.
is friends with loads of ghost pkmn, but he never officially catches any besides zorua. They’re residents of his haunt, not his teammates.
if the accident didn’t happen, his starter would either be hoothoot (because of spooky from the initial show concept) or a common dog like poochyena or lillipup… the Fentons spent all their money getting jazz a fancy eevee so Danny’s starter wouldn’t be nearly as impressive :’) rowlet would only be a possibility if gifted from Vlad, though Danny’s parents wouldn’t approve as it evolves into a ghost type.
Sam:
is very anti-battling at first. She felt that battling was abusive and was probably very loud and in your face about it lol. However, Bulbasaur loves to battle and wants to use it as a way to get stronger and evolve, so after a messy disagreement, Sam begins to see it in a healthier light. She still advocates for better pkmn rights, but is careful not to speak over those she’s defending.
would probably join team Aqua, Magma, or Plasma for at least half a day before realizing theyre evil lolol. (then she’d work with Danny and Tucker to defeat them on the exact same day)
Bulbasaur has a lengthy pedigree and comes from a line of contest winners. Neither it nor Sam have any interest in continuing that tradition though.
is the most likely person in the DP cast to become the champion.
Tucker:
is neutral on gym battling. He thinks the concept is cool and likes watching the championships on TV, but is way too much work to actually participate in. His pokemon feel the same and are happy just helping with his electronics.
is obsessed with Silph Co technology rather than new PDAs. He’s always buying their newest gadgets, even if he doesn’t have a proper use for them.
babies the hell out of his pokemon. helioptile is his little angel who can do no wrong and he’s always shielding it from dangerous situations (which becomes a bit of an issue as ghost fights increase in frequency.) With rotom, hes always double checking that its comfortable in his phone, if it wants to possess anything else, if he should upgrade its appliances, etc etc.
Jazz:
never went on a pokemon journey. She thought it was a waste of time since she didn’t want to become a trainer anyway. However, ghost hunting helps Jazz discover her own love of battling, so now she kinda regrets it.
eevee eventually evolves into sylveon. Its prehensile ribbons help Jazz multitask and its empathetic nature assists Jazz with psychology. Also it can scare away Vlad’s dragons lolol. Maybe it evolves in the middle of a fight against him?
if she gets any other teammates, it should reflect her desire to keep Danny safe. Maybe a honedge? usually Danny’s the one with a sword in fanon, but i think jazz deserves one too!!!
1K notes · View notes
katesprydes · 7 months
Text
RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own, and tag as many people as there are questions
thank you @good-enemy for the tag <3
coke or pepsi: coke
disney or dreamworks: sorry but i prefer disney i could name maybe like two dreamworks movies off the top of my head
coffee or tea: tea because coffee tastes burnt
books or movies: books
windows or mac: windows
dc or marvel: unfortunately i am a marvel fan
x-box or playstation: i havent used either of these in years
dragon age or mass effect: what
night owl or early riser: night owl
cards or chess: cards
chocolate or vanilla: depends on the food but usually vanilla
vans or converse: docs
lavellan, trevelyan, cadash, or adaar: ⁉️
fluff or angst: angst. hurt that blorbo you know you want to
beach or forest: beach
dogs or cats: dogs by default because im allergic to cats
clear skies or rain: clear skies but like the kind of clear skies when its sunny with no clouds in the sky but its chilly out
cooking or eating out: depends on the food
spicy food or mild food: mild food bc im a picky eater and also white
halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: hanukkah
would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: a little too cold
if you could have a superpower what would it be: telekinesis but that might just be because im a jean grey girlie
animation or live action: live action
paragon or renegade: ⁉️
baths or showers: baths but unfortunately showers are more convenient
team cap or team iron man: i hate both of them
fantasy or sci-fi: anyone who knows me knows i am the biggest fantasy lover out there
do you have three or four favorite quotes, if so what are they: idk i have a lot but i couldnt name them off the top of my head
youtube or netflix: youtube
harry potter or percy jackson: percy jackson obviously. he'd also kick harry potter's ass but thats a whole other conversation
when do you feel accomplished: when i succeed
star wars or star trek: ive seen bits of star wars so that one
paperback books or hardcover books: hardcover books because they have built in bookmarks and also theyre pretty
live in a world without literature or music: nice try but no
who was the last person to make you laugh: i dont know probably my dad
city or countryside: city i love the city i am a big city person (i dont live in a big city)
favorite chips: baked lays
pants or dresses: pants
libraries or museums: museums we have no good libraries here
character driven stories or plot driven stories: oh thats hard. probably plot but i do love a good character driven story
bookmarks or folding pages: bookmarks
dream job: music therapist
what gives you comfort: my dog. also music
what are you currently having brain rot levels of interest over: the once upon a broken heart series by stephanie garber and also maisie peters's music
what is your current favorite song: coming of age by maisie peters
(added question) how many books have you read this year?
tagging @henwilsons @napollya @thegoosewitch and whoever else is interested
80 notes · View notes
mikashisus · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
Arsonist’s Lullaby
“you got a taste for blood when you were licking your own wounds”
Tumblr media
summary: You had won your Games at the mere age of fourteen. The days of the arena still haunt your memories, even years after it all had happened.
Now, you find yourself back in the arena, fighting for your life a second time as you struggle to grasp the reality you’re living in.
pairing: genshin x fem!reader
content warnings: lots of blood and gore, heavy angst, character death, panic attacks, ptsd, su!cidal thoughts, su!cide attempts, feral behavior, hallucinations, hospitals, alcohol and drug use
other disclaimers: genshin hunger games au, mc is known to be unhinged bc of trauma, xiao & lumine are katniss & peeta here, mentor venti, a few andrius mentions, fluff and hurt/comfort
Tumblr media
ch.1 wc: 4.9k
author’s notes: y’all gonna hate me once this fic ends, cause im killing off a lot of the characters. im sorry in advance.
it took me so long to decide who to include in this fic & who would be part of what district. i included a few of my ocs in here too!
i adore the relationship i created between venti and the mc. it’s literally just father daughter dynamic, but venti is also the mc’s safe space. he understands her so well and knows exactly how to calm her down when she has outbursts.
i couldn’t decide on a singular love interest, so there’s multiple. most of them will die though (sorry not sorry).
plot follows catching fire and mockingjay! there are a few mentions of previous events just for plot purposes.
cross-posted on ao3!
Tumblr media
CHAPTER I: silent brewing of a storm
This victor party could’ve been way better than it was. The drinks were bitter, the food was bland, and the outfits were way more extravagant than you would’ve liked.
It almost made you sick thinking about it. You downed another glass of beer and hoped with all your might that you’d get so blasted that you couldn’t feel any nerve in your body.
This was all for show: the parties, the dresses, the accessories… all of it. You hated it here in the capitol where all eyes were on you. You wanted so badly to go back to your home in district seven, to fall onto your couch and cuddle your cat close to your chest as you cried and prayed that you wouldn’t have to spend another day here in the capitol— that you could live the rest of your life peacefully.
You knew that was an empty dream.
Grabbing yet another glass to drown your sorrows, a hand pulled it from your grasp just as the rim was about to meet your parted lips.
“I think that’s enough alcohol for one night, huh wolfie? I’m surprised they let you off the leash.”
That voice. A headache began to pound against your skull. Of course your mortal enemy had to come and ruin your already sour night.
“Go away, Ajax.” His name felt like a burden on your lips. Upon hearing your slurred words, he frowned.
“Now now, if I let you go on your own, you’d drink the last of the capitol’s reserves. You’d finally catch up to Venti,” he joked, taking a sip from the glass he had snatched from you. His face twisted in disgust. “Gross. What is this?”
You rolled your eyes. “Beer.”
Ajax made a disgusted noise as he placed the glass on the table you were leaning against. “How can you stand that stuff?” he asked, watching as you shrugged. “Does that alcoholic mentor of yours have you addicted now?”
Venti was your mentor— a former victor, and a man who had won his games at the age of twelve; the first year his name was put in. He was the youngest victor in history, which naturally gave him a surplus of popularity within the capitol. Now, he was well into his early thirties, yet his youthful glow still lingered. He didn’t look a day over sixteen.
How? That was the world’s greatest mystery.
Scanning the room, you found him passed out on one of the tables, a wine bottle still clutched tightly in his limp hand that hung off the side of the table. His cape and vest were long gone, discarded elsewhere in the room as he was left only in his corset, dress shirt, and dress pants.
You awkwardly turned away from the sight. When he was mentoring you, it had been hard to get him to be serious. when he was serious, he was the best mentor the capitol had ever seen.
He was way better than Ajax’s mentor, that was for sure. You had only met Skirk once, and in those five seconds, she had completely blasted your self confidence to bits. Needless to say, you prayed on her downfall after that.
“Nonsense,” you spoke, your voice hoarse. “Venti could drink the entire nation’s supplies in one gulp if he could. Drain the entire capitol’s wine industry to the ground.”
Ajax snickered into his glass of red wine before taking a more lengthy sip. He sighed in relief afterwards and handed the empty glass to a nearby waiter. “Can’t argue with that. Hey, how ‘bout we get out of here, huh?”
You sent him a teasing look. “You sure you wanna get involved with me? According to Andrius, I’m dangerous.” You grabbed a glass full of beer and chugged it down before making your way over to Venti.
It was true. Andrius, an older man who had been Venti’s mentor for his games, had an impeccable intuition. As soon as he had laid eyes on you in the capitol, he didn’t hesitate to tell you and Venti that you would be incredibly dangerous if you ended up winning your games. Except… there was no “if” when he told you.
Confidently, he stated in a rough voice,
“You will be so dangerous that even the capitol won’t be able to control you.”
Venti had told you that Andrius told him the exact same thing before he entered his games. You later found out that Decarabian, the man who had mentored Andrius and was now long gone, said the exact same thing to Andrius.
You guessed it was tradition for mentors in your district to tell their tributes that. You didn’t yet realize how much weight that statement held.
Ajax followed you, chuckling all the while. “Yeah, I’m well aware. I saw your games. I know you killed eight people at once with an axe and a net. I also know you went batshit crazy after returning from your games. What was the exact word the capitol used? Ah yes, feral.”
You sent him a glare before you lugged Venti off of the table. He pulled the table sheet with him, hitting the floor with a loud thud. You winced at the sound and slapped him over the head with flowers that were previously in a nearby vase. The man startled, babbling on about beer as he began to wake.
“Leave, Ajax— Venti! Get up, you fucking embarrassment! Everyone in the room is staring at us!”
They really weren’t, but you were so used to eyes being on you, that you had a permanent paranoia. You grabbed Venti’s arm and attempted to pull him off the floor. He hiccuped as he stumbled, his half lidded eyes staring at you as you draped one of his arms around your shoulder.
He smiled when he realized it was you. “Ah, if it isn’t my favorite victor! Can I have another beer?”
“No.” You didn’t bother saying goodbye to Ajax as you led Venti towards the exit. “But you can have water when we get back.”
Venti grumbled, only to brighten up again at the sight of a certain white haired gentleman. He waved happily, “Kazuha! Hello!”
Venti hadn’t mentored Kazuha, but they were closely acquainted because Venti was always fussing over you like a mother hen. It was quite adorable that he was so protective over you, but it also felt like he was smothering you at times.
You smiled softly as you made eye contact with Kazuha. You and Kazuha had back to back games. After yours, the capitol considered putting you down like a dog because of how feral you had gotten. However, after your outbursts had slowed down and gotten more under control, they just barely allowed you to live.
If it weren’t for Venti and Andrius advocating for your cause, you most likely would’ve died.
Kazuha’s games were a year after yours. Venti came to you with the idea of mentoring Kazuha shortly after you had started calming down from your trauma. The memories you had wouldn’t go away that quickly, but at least you were learning to cope in a healthy way.
You didn’t like the idea of being a mentor at first, especially since you were so young. You didn’t know the first thing about being a mentor, and you weren’t very good at talking to other people. Venti encouraged you to try, and he co-mentored Kazuha with you since you were so uncooperative.
But because he wasn’t assigned as an official mentor for Kazuha, there were certain times where he couldn’t help you with the right words to say or tell you how to comfort Kazuha. You were on your own, and you eventually got the hang of mentoring, even if you still weren’t the best at communicating with others.
You were always thankful for Kazuha’s patience with you. Not once did he yell at you or tell you that you were doing a shit job. Not once did he push you away or insult you behind your back. Not once did he criticize you or laugh when you relapsed because something triggered you. Instead, he was calm. His presence was comforting, and he always knew what to say to you. He was a good listener, and he was patient. He never crossed any boundaries and he was always kindhearted, even if the games had messed him up the same way they did to you.
Kazuha was the only tribute you mentored, and also your favorite. You understood why Venti acted the way he did with you. It was because he felt the same way towards you, even if you caused way more trouble for him than Kazuha did for you.
The boy in front of you smiled gently as he held your gaze, crimson eyes softening at the sight of you. “Do you want help?”
You snapped out of your daze and shook your head. “It’s okay, but thank you. I got him. He’s my responsibility after all.” You chuckled softly.
Kazuha nodded, though you knew he didn’t believe that you could handle this on your own. After all, you looked just about ready to punch Venti in the face because he kept tugging on your arm. You absolutely despised being touched, but you tried not to mind it when it came to Venti.
You knew his love language was physical touch, and so you were smothered in hugs and forehead kisses before your games. However, after your games, you’d lash out at the mere ghost of a touch on your skin. That resulted in more than a few doctors being killed.
Right now, you were fighting off every voice in your head that was screaming “danger” and tried to focus on just getting Venti back to his room in the hotel you two were staying in.
Kazuha stepped forward, “Are you sure? I don’t mind helping—“
Something in you snapped as you squeezed your eyes shut and shouted, “I have him! I said I’m okay!” You panted heavily as your chest heaved. When you opened your eyes, you were surprised to see that Kazuha was still standing so close to you.
Instead of running away like anyone else would’ve done, he simply smiled warmly at you— sweet and full of kindness. “Okay. At least allow me to go with you just in case.”
A little shaken up, you nodded. Your hands trembled as you continued to lead Venti out of the party venue and outside. Kazuha followed, keeping a reasonable distance from you.
After you safely got Venti into his hotel room, you sighed heavily and collapsed onto the couch, your gown billowing as you did so. A little annoyed at how the fabric itched your skin, you tore the dress off, now being left in your silk chemise that you wore underneath the gown.
Kazuha picked up the gown, gently folding it over the back of the couch. He sat down in a nearby chair, giving you your much needed space. After awhile, you broke the silence that settled between you both.
“I’m sorry,” you muttered. “I didn’t mean to yell back there.”
This happened often, way more often than you would’ve liked. It happened a lot with Venti because he was so persistent, but he was also calm and patient. If he set you off, he’d be right there to calm you down too. He’d apologize and sing comforting songs that made you relax.
Kazuha shook his head. “You don’t need to apologize, I understand.”
After years of being by your side, he learned how to handle any outbursts you have. He first learned how to when you were mentoring him. Both of you had been fifteen at the time.
You would be triggered by something so easily back then. You couldn’t even walk freely because of it. An escort would always be with you, keeping a close eye on you and ensuring you didn’t accidentally kill someone again.
Kazuha had never feared you, even when you lashed out at him a few times during your mentoring. Something would trigger you and you’d leap into an outburst. Nearby peacekeepers would try to interfere, but Venti and your District escort, Signora, would hold you down to the ground and tell security that they had it under control.
Even though you were severely unstable the entire time you mentored Kazuha, somehow someway your mentoring had led him to winning his games.
You could still remember even now, his petrified expression once he realized he was the last one in the arena, and how he broke down into tears the moment you saw him directly afterwards. You could still remember how he hugged you, clinging onto you like a lifeline.
His tear stained face dug into your shoulder, and you turned your back to the cameras so that he could cry in peace. You put your hand on his head to ensure he had at least a little bit of privacy as he cried, and you held him tightly with your eyes squeezed shut until he finally pulled away from you and mustered up a small smile.
You had told him that he didn’t need to force himself to smile, that he could cry into your shoulder as much as he needed to. He shook his head, saying that his tears had already dried up. That was obviously a lie, as when you went to leave him that night, he scrambled out of bed and begged you to stay with him. His voice had been so shaky when he told you he was scared of being alone because of his traumatic memories in the arena.
You stayed with him every night until the pain got somewhat better. Due to your own experiences, you couldn’t sleep. You’d stay awake, staring up at the ceiling and being a comforting presence for Kazuha if he had a nightmare.
The games had affected him almost the same way they did to you. There was one huge difference though: you left the games as a killer, while he left as a survivor.
You had killing tendencies after your games, while he was left with nightmares of someone targeting him. The both of you had very different types of trauma and dealt with it in two very different ways, but you stood by each other through it all. And now, you could confidently call him your best friend— besides Venti.
As Kazuha left for the night, promising that he would check back in on you in the morning, you made your way back into Venti’s room. The man was sleeping soundly on the bed, the covers all askew and one of his legs hanging off the side of the bed. You smiled at the sight and sat down next to him.
You pushed his bangs away from his face and gently placed a kiss to his forehead. Tomorrow, you’d help him nurse a hangover, and you’d be there right as he woke up, just like he always was for you.
The train ride back to District 7 was more than peaceful. Due to your sensitivity to loud noises, Venti and Signora decided to take their constant arguing to another room while you and Kazuha sat in silence.
The white haired man across from you was wearing a pair of glasses while he skimmed through a book. After his games, his eyes were banged up real good and he had to get glasses for things like reading.
You always thought they looked good on him, which made him feel better about wearing them. Silently studying the man in front of you, you noticed his cheeks beginning to turn a faint shade of pink.
Kazuha was undoubtedly very pretty— so pretty you found yourself staring at him for long periods of time whenever you were with him. He usually didn’t mind, or at least, pretended like it didn’t bother him. It really didn’t bother him, but it made him quite flustered.
He should’ve been used to the staring by now, but the truth was that he wasn’t. He softly cleared his throat and avoided your gaze, “Everything alright? Do you want me to go get Venti?”
The fact that he knew you so well to the point where he knew when you needed Venti made your heart melt. You meekly shook your head.
“No… I’m fine.”
“If you say so,” he muttered.
He was able to tell whenever you needed Venti’s support. There was always this look in your eye that told him that you needed Venti to be with you at that moment, and you were currently making that face despite telling him that everything was alright.
Venti was your safe person, your lifeline. If anything was wrong with you, he’d always be right by your side in a heartbeat. It made Kazuha feel a little pang inside his chest, even though he knew that you didn’t see Venti that way. That you and Venti were more akin to a father and daughter dynamic than anything.
Kazuha met your prying eyes. “I’ll be right back-“
“I said I’m fine!” you called after him, a little agitated that he wasn’t listening to you.
He waved you off despite your protests, and Venti was rushing in a second later, his eyes blown wide with worry and panic and his heart beating fast. He had thought that you had one of your outbursts again.
As soon as he saw your relaxed form, his shoulders relaxed and he let out a huge sigh of relief. “You had me worried something happened again,” he muttered before taking a seat next to you. You immediately moved to curl into his side like a cat.
You weren’t a huge fan of physical touch unless you were the one initiating it because of past trauma. Often times, you opted for no physical touch whatsoever, even if it was something so small as holding hands or a brush of a touch against your skin.
The smallest bit of touch could set you off on most occasions. It could have you screaming and gasping for air, clouding your brain with one word: danger.
Venti understood this, and so he never initiated anything with you. If he wanted to give you a hug, he wouldn’t unless you asked him for one. If he wanted to kiss your forehead, he wouldn’t unless you told him he could. He was always careful, making sure not to trigger an outburst or send you into a panic attack.
“I’m fine,” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest.
Venti huffed, “I don’t mean to scare you, but if you so much as look at anyone the wrong way, the peacekeepers won’t hesitate to put you in chains again.”
You knew what he was talking about.
After your games, you had gone a little batshit crazy because of your trauma. You refused to let any doctors treat you because you were scared of being touched. Venti and Signora had tried to hold you down, but it only made matters worse.
It wasn’t until they realized why you were making such a fuss that they tried to calm you down, but at that point it had been too late. Your brain was already clouded and filled with thoughts of getting away from whoever was touching you. You were seeing them as threats, and they didn’t know how else to calm you down other than sedate you.
When you woke up, you were strapped to the hospital bed, which made things even worse . You screamed and kicked, until Venti had rushed in with a panicked look on his face and a kind smile. The familiar sight made you relax a little, just enough for him to distract you from the doctors who were just trying to do their job.
You were deemed too unstable to be left alone, and so Venti decided to join you in Victor’s Village. He lived with you for the next two years, and his comforting presence was what helped you to find healthy coping mechanisms.
For an entire year after your games, you were put in chains because of your tendencies to lash out at anyone who got within five feet of you. You had killed multiple doctors by that point, and when the capitol attempted to turn you into their plaything, you absolutely lost it. You killed every client until the capitol had enough and tried to put you down like a dog.
That was when Venti and Andrius intervened, advocating for your cause and defending you because you were just a poor, traumatized fourteen year old girl who would never be the same again. All you had wanted was to go back home to district seven and forget about everything that happened in that arena.
Your games had been way too traumatizing, and way too bloody. You refused to ever speak up on it again, and everyone knew better than to ask you about it— lest they end up dead.
“I just want to go home,” you whispered.
In truth, you had no home to return to. The capitol had taken everything from you: your childhood, your innocence, your life, your sanity, and your family. There was no one else except Venti and Kazuha left— your only last traces of home.
Signora was technically part of that home, too. She was the district seven escort, and also the woman who fashioned outfit designs for you. She was a hopeless romantic at heart, and she always loved having girl time with you before your games.
Afterwards though, you were too traumatized to say or do anything with her. You clung onto Venti like a lifeline, and your relationship with her all but fell apart. If it weren’t for Venti bringing you both back together through Kazuha, then you probably wouldn’t have ever spoken with her again.
Now, you were back on good terms with her. Though, you were still a little too unstable for her to deal with. You could sense that she missed having lively conversations with you over tea and sharing a plate of coffee cake, but anything could set you off at any moment— like a grenade. This made her keep her distance, as she was not that good at comforting others or dealing with people with PTSD.
That only resulted in you becoming closer to Venti, though you knew that even if you had become close with Signora, you probably still would’ve been closer with your mentor.
“I know, cecilia.”
There it was, that nickname that always brought you back to reality. No matter what you were going through, that nickname that Venti had given you always seemed to ease your mind and calm your nerves. You clung onto him tighter, afraid he might disappear if you let go.
He hesitantly placed a hand on your back, unsure if you were okay with reciprocated touch right now. When you didn’t show any signs of tensing up, he gently rubbed circles into your back with his thumb.
Eventually, you fell asleep.
Your “welcome home” was not a welcome at all. After arriving in district seven, the three of you disembarked the train and made your way back to your houses.
The people bid small hellos to Kazuha and Venti, who both returned their greetings with kind smiles and greetings of their own. However, as soon as the people saw you, they shuffled out of the way and went dead silent. They refused to meet your eyes.
Venti quickly led you back to your shared home, easing both yours and the people’s worries. You sighed in relief upon arriving back home, immediately flopping onto the couch and curling into a ball.
“Andrius wanted to stop by and see you,” Venti told you, rummaging the kitchen cabinets for a mug. He could tell you could use some warm tea right about now. “But I know how much you hate visitors.”
You hadn’t had visitors in years, but Andrius was different. You perked up at the mention of him, meeting Venti’s brilliant eyes. “Not if it’s him,” you said with a small smile.
If Venti was like a parental figure for you, then Andrius was like your grandfather. Although he preferred to be alone most of the time, he would occasionally come to visit just to see how you and Venti were doing. He would stay for just a little while, with Venti offering him something to eat or drink. He would ask you a few questions about your current mentality and your overall health.
If you hesitated to answer, he took that as a sign that you weren’t doing so well. Venti would often speak for you, carrying the conversation because he knew how much you hated talking. Despite your lack of interaction in that regard, you quite liked Andrius’ company. That, and he usually brought small gifts with him whenever he visited.
They weren’t anything special, just some snacks he knee you liked or some wooden carvings he recently finished and wanted to give to you. You had a few of them sitting on your windowsill from the last time you saw him.
The simple three knock pattern alerted you immediately, and you all but jumped up from your spot on the couch to go open the door. Venti chuckled at your excitement, watching in amusement as you threw open the door to greet Andrius.
The steadily aging man donned some wrinkles and a few gray hairs now. His bright blue eyes were significantly duller than the last time you peered into them, and his usually combed back navy hair was rather messy.
He held a neatly wrapped gift in his hands. Upon seeing you, he attempted a small smile. You knew he wasn’t one to smile or show much emotion in the first place, so you were surprised with the sight in front of you.
You stepped aside to allow him in, and he chuckled softly. “I see you still have it smelling like pine and cinnamon in here.”
“Of course!” Venti chimed in from the kitchen. He set down three mugs of tea in the living room. “Perfect timing! I just made us some tea.”
“Tea?” Andrius asked incredulously, almost as if he was offended. “What happened to all the alcohol?”
You smiled as you took a seat on the couch again. Grabbing your own mug of tea, you took a lengthy sip. “Venti finally drank it all.”
Andrius sat down in a chair across from you and shook his head with a knowing look. “I’m surprised it took him this long.”
“Hey!” Venti collapsed onto the couch next to you. “I’m not that bad!”
You were silent for a moment as you eyed the bottle of wine in his hands. It took one glance from you for him to whine and complain that he didn’t have a drinking problem. Which, of course, was a lie, but you knew the reason why he had a drinking problem in the first place.
It was all to forget what he experienced in the arena.
Everyone had different ways of coping, and not all of those were considered healthy. Andrius turned to smoking after his games as a way for him to cope with his overwhelming win. Venti turned to drinking, washing away all of his sorrows with way too much alcohol. And you?
You just dealt with it. At least, that’s what you claimed to do, but the scars on your arms and legs said otherwise. They told stories of dark nights alone on your bathroom floor, sobbing as you smudged your thumb over the new line of crimson that tainted your skin.
You got away with it for awhile… until Venti finally caught you in the act and had a breakdown right there with you on the floor. You could still remember the way he hugged you so tightly even though you tried to push him away. You could still remember the way he cried and how he promised he’d always be there for you.
It stopped after that day, but the reminders of your unhealthy coping mechanisms still lingered on your skin even now.
A small beep interrupted this oddly domestic moment you were sharing with Venti and Andrius. You flinched at the noise, the sound almost sending you into a panic attack before Venti gently shushed you and managed to calm you down. A second later, the screen of your tv lit up with the face of the wonderful President, Phanes.
The sight of her face had you lurching out of your seat. Venti abruptly pulled you back, immediately letting go of you when you looked like you wanted to punch his face in.
“It’s just an announcement,” Andrius reassured you in a somewhat comforting tone. “It’s about time for the annual games, it’s only natural that there would be an announcement.”
You nodded at his words, trying to calm your beating heart by repeating his words over and over again in your head. It was just an announcement.
You quickly found that it was more than just an announcement once Phanes issued that all previous victors were to be reaped again at the next annual reaping.
Everything faded into nothing. You remembered hearing a bloodcurdling scream as your heartbeat echoed loudly in your ears and your vision went blurry. You remembered being tackled to the ground by someone stronger than you, and you could vaguely remember the scent of metallic iron.
When you woke up, your eyes met Kazuha’s, and your heart dropped to your stomach once the events of a few hours prior flooded into your brain.
You would have to be reaped again.
Tumblr media
author’s notes: chapters after this point will be extremely long, therefore it’ll take me awhile to write them. please be patient with me 🙏
and in the meantime, feel free to read my other works!
masterlist
31 notes · View notes
zombspidey · 20 days
Text
intro ⋆ READ B4 INTERACTING ⌁
Tumblr media
my name is ajax/reo (you can call me either of those names) my pronouns are he/xe i am a minor (i'm 4teen) and i used to be @spinnspidey, @radiospidey, @knifespidey, and @razorspidey (that was the more known one) but i got t worded (again…) to whoever got me t worded, block dnt report. thanks!! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა yeah so heres my intro. i'm a little bit of a weirdo if i do say so myself and i'm heavily tumblr obsessed so yeah i'll be on here nd i'll probably post a lot ^^ i'll post whatever goes through my mind which might be bad so warning on that. i might show symptoms of mental illnesses and if i do then mb idk not really my problem… but heads up i WILL say shit that shows that im not doing great. please do not try to save me or smth. also im looking for friends so bmf i promise im nice. DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT PROMOTE ANYTHING THAT I POST. I AM POSTING AS A WAY TO VENT.
Tumblr media
more info + stats under the cut!!! (tw for talking about sh + ed. don't like, don't read.)
sh﹐tw . . . ⋆ i have been cvtting since 2022 ⋆ i have hit styro ⋆ only styro on my thighs ⋆ i am not allowed to cvt anymore (unfortunately) ⋆ i have cvt my thighs, arms, stomach, and neck ⋆ most scars on thighs + arms ⋆ mostly cat scratches ⋆ all scars have healed (or are almost done in the process of healing) ⋆ my parents found out so i can't do it for now… (⇀‸↼‶)
ed﹐tw . . . ⋆ i have always hated my body ⋆ started trying to lose weight january 2023 ⋆ started around december 2023 (probably before, like over the summer but idk…) ⋆ 160 cm (last time i measured myself at least..) ⋆ sw 57.6 kg (bmi 22.5) ⋆ hw 60 kg (bmi 23.4) ⋆ lw 49.8 kg (bmi 19.5) ⋆ cw 49.8 kg (bmi 19.5) [will update every morning] ⋆ gw 1 50 kg (bmi 19.5) ⋆ gw 2 45 kg (bmi 17.6) ⋆ gw 3 40 kg (bmi 15.6) ⋆ ugw <38 kg (bmi <14.8)
Tumblr media
dni . . . ⋆ basic dni (idrc ngl, do what you want but don't report me thanks) ⋆ judgmental people ⋆ people who have mdni in their bio (i am a minor so??) ⋆ nsfw accounts (this means people who post/reblog nudes. if it's just text, it's fine) ⋆ overly sensitive people ⋆ people who aren't ok w dark topics/get uncomfortable by stuff like that (this is more for you than for me, i dont wanna make anyone upset) ⋆ people who get triggered by talking about sh, ⭐️ving, alcohol, etc… (yes i am aware that it's bad, no don't come to my dms with a savior complex telling me to get help. i'm trying to get help) ⋆ i block freely btw cuz ik a lot of ppl dont respect dni lists + theres people who are unavoidable at times…
byi . . . ⋆ if you interact with me, i might seem excited n stuff ⋆ i might sound like i'm flirting but i'm not (i have a partner and i love them) ⋆ i can make a lot of sex jokes ⋆ i am very immature ⋆ dnt try to "fix" me, i'll probably block you or ignore you ⋆ i'm a little unusual so yeah ⋆ dnt be scared to interact w me i luv talking to peopleヾ(≧∇≦)ゞ ⋆ i am not pro €d or $h i just post about it and my experience…
fandoms . . . ⋆ hypmic (hypnosis mic) ⋆ genshin impact ⋆ paralive (paradox live) ⋆ servamp ⋆ tougen anki ⋆ karneval ⋆ bsd (bungou stray dogs) ⋆ seraph of the end ⋆ litc (lost in the cloud) ⋆ kagerou daze ⋆ the case study of vanitas ⋆ pandora hearts ⋆ enstars (ensemble stars) (i am KIND OF a part of it because my ex filled me up on a lot of lore when we were together…) ⋆ pjsk (project sekai) ⋆ theres probably some others but i forgot…
interests . . . ⋆ vkei ⋆ scene ⋆ anything bloody ⋆ cannibalism (ooh edgy) ⋆ tortures ⋆ psychology ⋆ music (i listen to vkei, scene, metal, etc…) ⋆ vampires ⋆ fanfiction (mostly genshin but other stuff occassionally) ⋆ true crime (im not tcc) ⋆ rarepairs (mostly genshin) ⋆ bats ⋆ writing ⋆ books ⋆ etc… ⋆ btw if youre interested in any of these or are interested becoming friends PLEASEEE message me 🙏🙏😓 im looking for friends pleaseplwaseplease
tags . . . ⋆ i tag all my posts with #zombspidey ⋆ i tag my normal posts with #zombspideys normal posts, meaning they are unrelated to $h and/or €d related things ⋆ i don't have a specific tag for $h/€d/vent related things so beware. i usually put a warning on all my posts like that at the end of the post tho ⋆ i tag my moodboard with #zombspideys moodboards ⋆ i tag stuff about me/my life as #zombspidey diary ⋆ i tag my rants/more serious posts with #zombspidey rants ⋆ block any of the tags or my blog if you do not wish to see it!!!
other links . . . ⋆ fanfic/dead dove: do not eat blog ⋆ poem blog ⋆ carrd
Tumblr media
remember!!! block DONT report this blog if you need to ^^ this blog is meant as a way to vent my feelings/talk about my feelings so please don't dm me about how its bad. i am aware.
37 notes · View notes
simonsrosebud · 1 month
Text
TSC FIRST REACTIONS (SPOILERS)
i have many more but my brain is mush rn
-
-
-
-
-
jean watching the championship game was heart racing bc WE all know what happens at the end. his reaction to riko’s death is… the detached description of it is so fitting because he barely remembers it himself, he was so disassociated
the fact that his first knee jerk reaction to fear and panic is to claw at his neck until it bleeds is so interesting bc hello that takes strength and PAIN to dig that deep, i don’t understand it even after finishing the book but hoping i get more clarity on my second read.
jeremy and kevin’s relationship is very trusting, i think more than we thought. not the fangirl of each other that we joke about.
jean taking the picture of renee pls shoot me
jeremy’s rage and grief when he finally starts getting a bigger scope of everything jean lived through is a LOT. i wanna scream at jean to just LET HIM IN even knowing he won’t
the in depth explanations of the 16 hour days and all these other little evermore facts that we’re learning and have wanted to know for YEARS… yikes
jeremy calling kevin with no warning asking “did riko break ur hand?” SO BOLD
jeans notebooks crush my soul so hard it’s heartbreaking. and his trinkets😭
“Jean was exactly the kind of guy Jeremy was prone to trip himself up over” OH MY GOD?? there’s a difference between me wanting jerejean vs them actually being attracted to one another.
jeremy is a golden retriever confirmed. “This is Barkbark von Barkenstein. You can call him Barkbark or Mister B for short. It's a bit of a mouthful on its own.”
BLOND JEREMY YAS
jeans reaction to blond jeremy. fully took this man out of orbit.
although he hasn’t confirmed fully, jean being gay (assumption) was almost surprising bc from what i remember from the EC i almost thought he’d lean more pansexual since the ravens kinda slept with whoever (not that he seems like the type to use labels anyway)
“Kevin's words mocked him in the back of his thoughts: ‘Some of them you like.’ Jean cut off that line of thinking so fast he felt dizzy. It didn't matter that Jeremy Knox was annoyingly easy to look at; Jean knew better than to look at another man too long.” SCREAMING?? WAS JEAN THE ONE W THE CRUSH ON JEREMY THIS WHOLE TIME WHILE KEVIN WAS JUST FRIENDS??
and now my chest hurts bc “He was years away, watching a different beautiful boy lean in close to say, Will you teach me when he's not watching? It could be our secret.
Jeremy Cat and Laila seeing the notebooks broke me a little, the accidental invasion hurt
the ravens dropping like flies…
“he hadn’t missed the way Jean’s gaze tracked him when he readied for bed. Since Jean was quick to look away when he was caught, Jeremy had promised himself he wouldn’t ask. This was too good an opening to pass up, though, so he finally said, “More exclusively than you do, I think. Does that bother you?” AHHHHHHHH WOAHHHHHH i threw my phone (also can’t tell if jean looks at cat/laila the way jeremy assumed in that paragraph or if it’s just curiosity, cause it always seems like it’s just curiosity not attraction
Grayson. think we all saw smth like that coming from jeans time in the nest but holy shit
Neil showing up WOAH. i knew his FBI business wouldn’t be over in one day but i didn’t rlly expect that, although it makes sense
im still not over jeremy actually being gay its a dream come true that we all saw and hoped for but still
41 notes · View notes
littlespoonevan · 14 days
Note
Omggg tsc thoughts? Im dying for the sequel to be out lol
ohhh okay so there IS sequel?? i wasn't sure because it didn't say anything at the end of the book. that's good to know bc i was definitely like, this story is not finished lol
overall??? i enjoyed it!! it's definitely not on he same level as aftg for me but i never really had the same interest in jean/the trojans that other people did so i expected that
as usual though, nora's writing hooked me in and, much like aftg, it was very hard to put down once i got into the story. i especially loved the first hundred or so pages where jean was staying at abby's and we got the outsider pov on everything happening at the end of the king's men and its aftermath (and obviously any time any of the foxes was near my heart did a little happy dance)
in terms of the story once he moved out to california, i really liked reading about his adjustment period as well as his dynamic with jeremy (obviously lmao every time jeremy pulled his hand away from his neck i was 🥺) and cat and laila. it was interesting because i could see parallels to neil's story and him meeting the foxes and yet they both react to things so completely differently???
also absolutely dID NOT expect the book to make me so emotional about kevin day??????????? however on the flip side, jean calling him an insufferable bitch was one of the highlights of the book for me askjdfh
second also, i didn't think it was possible to believe riko/evermore could be more brutal than the descriptions in aftg but holy fuck was i wrong
third also, neil being a giant pain in the ass to the fbi agents at the end was so incredibly delightful i'm obsessed with him
final thoughts: i liked it a lot and will definitely read the sequel but in the meantime who's writing the jean pov fic on andrew and neil's relationship for those few weeks they're all living at abby's place together???????????
18 notes · View notes