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formosusiniquis · 1 year

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y'know like barbie

ao3

It's Erica who gives him the idea, incidentally. Though she carries herself with a maturity that far surpasses the boys most days and though she's been through multiple life altering events, she does continue to only be eleven. Which is, it turns out, prime babysitting age.

The Sinclairs are going out of town overnight, it's their anniversary -- 18 blissful years, since our marriage can vote we thought we deserved a night away -- and they don't want Erica to spend the night home alone.

Enter Steve, who the Sinclairs trust with their children and who is inexplicably the only person Erica would accept staying the night with her. Steve honestly didn't believe it even as Mrs. Sinclair was saying it. But he smiles and nods, looks over the emergency numbers on the fridge when they're pointed to, nods at the money on the counter for food that he probably won't take, and waves as they walk out the door promising that he and Erica will be fine for the night and not to worry.

It's only when their car is out of the driveway and the door is shut that Steve realizes he isn't really a babysitter. He is a keep children alive while in a dangerous situation and when the situation is over drive them around because you feel bad that their childhoods have been marred by trauma-er which doesn't have quite the same ring as babysitter, and it's a lot harder to say with that rude tone the boys have been favoring. He also realizes that he's never actually dealt with children, or not girl children. The boys had all been older than Erica, when he had started keeping them alive. Max was definitely basically a teenager when he started really dealing with her; and she was usually okay to do what the boys wanted to do, like go to the arcade. Hopper didn't really trust him with El and that was fine, he wasn't sure he trusted himself with El either.

It put him in an awkward spot now though. Staring at Erica in her kitchen, a little afraid to ask the question on the front of his mind which was "What now?"

So he asks the second question on his mind, "What do you want to do that isn't eat ice cream all night?"

Say what you will about Steve Harrington, and a lot has been said, but he always keeps his promises and he always brings a pint of ice-cream for Erica to have when he comes over to the Sinclair house. Tonight he brought three, all different weird flavors he thought she'd like to try.

"Why can't I eat ice cream all night?" She says it with a challenge in her eyes, but he'd bet dollars to donuts that she's just doing it to make him sweat. "Because I've seen you eat ice cream, we've only got enough for two hours at most." His hand migrates as if of its own mind to his hip. "You need more than two people for Dungeons and Dragons, right?"

Her brows raise, for the first time since he's met her Erica Sinclair is stunned silent. Maybe she's just surprised he got the name right.

It lasts about as long as it takes him to notice it. "You'd play Dungeons and Dragons with me?" There's something fragile in the way she asks, and there is the eleven year old girl she's meant to be.

"Sure, you'd have to show me how, but if that's what you want to do I'm game."

Eyes narrowed in a distinctly intimidating way he kind of thinks she stole from Nancy, he does his best to make his sincerity clear on his face. "We need more than two people, but I've got something else we can do if you think your fragile manhood can take it."

He's got a retort at the tip of his tongue about just what his manhood can take and remembers just in time that yeah probably shouldn't make a joke like that in front of an actual child. "My pride isn't that delicate, I think I can handle anything you dish out."

"Famous last words."

He follows her to her bedroom, waiting outside the doorway to let her space stay private until he's told to come in. A clear plastic tub slides out from under her bed, out of sight but easily accessible and when the lid pops off he gets why. Rows of Barbies stacked neatly on top of each other, a mass grave for childhood. Steve has a stuffed bear, fur rubbed off of one ear, tucked up on the shelf of his closet that also got put away sooner than he would have chosen to, when it was too babyish.

“Alright, so who is the, like, elven warrior.”

“That’s not how you play Barbies.”

It’s snapped so fast that he thinks it embarasses her. He tactfully avoids eye contact, pulling out a doll with blonde hair snipped into a professional, if uneven, bob and a green skirt set. She's missing a shoe. “Then how do I play Barbies?”

“That one just won the Nobel Peace Prize, she solved world hunger, but she has plans to kill the Barbie who won the prize in Physics because she stole Barbie One’s research and gave it to NASA claiming it was her own.”

“Right, of course.” This was the kind of shit that happened on Dallas, only Barbie had a lot more awards. “And they’re all called Barbie?”

“Except for Ken, but Ken doesn’t do anything.”

“Well if Barbie just won the Peace Prize wouldn’t she use Ken to kill Barbie so she doesn’t get caught.”

Erica manages a look that is both condescending and considerate. “Barbie can do anything, including get away with murder; but she wouldn’t want to dirty her hands with that sort of thing.”

“And if Ken goes to jail it’s no loss.”

“Right.”

So maybe it's more accurate to say that Dustin actually starts it.

Dustin with the shittiest attitude this side of the Ohio, something Robin blames him for.

“Like father, like son.”

“Dustin doesn’t even know his dad.”

“I mean you and Eddie, dingus.”

“I am not that kid's dad. A brotherly figure at best, strong male role model more likely.”

“He’s a bitch because you are, Steve. Maybe if your and Eddie’s love language wasn’t being as bitchy as possible it wouldn’t have rubbed off on your kid.”

“Please don’t put Dustin and rubbing off in the same paragraph let alone the same thought wave.”

Dustin comes sprinting into Family Video on a Tuesday afternoon. “Steve! I need your car.”

“Did you learn how to drive when I wasn’t paying attention?”

“Obviously, I meant I need you too.” His hands are on his hips, eyes rolled. Shit maybe he did get it from Steve. “There’s this theoretical physicist coming to Notre Dame to give a talk on the Multiverse Theory.”

Steve was allowing himself a second to consider whether this was worth it, for once, instead of just blindly agreeing to drive Dustin wherever. The drive sucked ass, but it would put him close enough to Chicago that he could try to find a music store that would carry albums from the international metal bands Eddie couldn’t stop talking about.

It was a second too long for Dustin. “Steve, a theoretical physicist-”

See Steve had this suspicion that the kids did actually think he was an idiot. He was pretty sure that none of them, hell maybe none of Hellfire, save for Lucas realized that every athlete in the school had to keep up at least a 2.5 GPA. Which might not have been anything to write home about but Steve kept a 3.2 for most of high school, until the multiple concussions started to catch up with him. He wasn’t stupid, was the point and even if they didn’t think he was an idiot in a mean way he was a little sick of the shit.

“I know, like Barbie.”

That shuts Dustin up real quick.

“N- no, not like Barbie! Barbie is some girl's toy.”

“Excuse me?” Robin, who told Steve that she would not help him parent his children on work days or any other day ending in y had remembered that Martes doesn’t have one and her shift was almost over. “What does that mean, exactly, a girl’s toy?”

“And,” Steve adds, because he can and because Eddie made him drive him to fucking Bloomington because he was fixated on time travel and needed access to some science journal that only existed at Indiana U apparently, “Barbie is on a research team looking for the Higgs particle so she can start figuring out time travel.”

The bell chiming as Dustin leaves has never sounded sweeter.

He’ll definitely end up taking the twerp to stupid Notre Dame.

The thing is that Steve thinks he’s never really stopped being a bitch.

He doesn’t want to stop. He likes being bitchy. It’s fun, when you’re doing it with people you like it’s pretty funny, and honestly he’s kinda like Spiderman. With great power comes great responsibility, he’s only bitchy responsibly now.

And it’s actually perfectly responsible as an older brother type babysitter figure to correct the behavior of the younger siblings by being bitchy. If they don’t learn at home they’ll go out in the world thinking that kind of behavior is acceptable, see Steve Harrington in his early high school days who talked to people like his father did.

So when Mike interrupts El with, “I’m not going to ask Steve, he probably doesn’t even know what a Pulitzer is either.”

He says, “Oh, yeah like Barbie won. Or Nancy will someday, probably. It’s a journalism award, Wheeler.”

And when Lucas corrects, “I don’t actually think you can win an award for comics. It’s still really great though, Will!”

“Barbie won the Kirby Award in 1985 for best artist, I’m sure Will is soon to follow.”

Or when Nancy tells Holly, “Are you sure you wouldn’t want to be something important instead?”

“You could be an actress and do something cool like go to space if you want, Hols, like Barbie.” And maybe he says it with a little more bitch than he should that time, but he’s seen the ballerinas in Nancy’s room, she didn’t always want to be an investigative journalist.

It gets to be second nature. When someone starts being shitty about something or to lighten the mood.

Erica doubts whether she should run for student council. It's her first step to being actual president, like Barbie.

Dustin makes a crack about Steve's possible future prospects when he butts in on a conversation between Steve and Robin. "I could do all three, I could be a counselor and a hair stylist and an engineer. Maybe I'll add EMT too, Barbie wouldn't stop at three, why should I?"

Or when Mike sneers at him, "What are you a cop?" All because Steve told him not to buy weed now that Eddie had stopped dealing.

"Ew, no, because you look like a fresh-faced little narc trying to be cool and you're gonna get ripped off."

"What so not like Barbie?"

"The Barbie world has achieved equality at a level that it doesn't need the cops." Eddie sometimes has to get high after a run in with Powell or Calahan who he still doesn't really trust after the spring. Steve has been treated to many a lecture on why the police were a waste of resources.

He lets Mike sit with that for a minute before he adds, "Like Barbie, I am very cool and know what it looks like when I'm being taken for a ride. If you're gonna get pot from someone other than Eddie, ask Hop where he used to get all of his shit."

It doesn't feel stupid, until El comes running into the cabin one afternoon that Steve has decided to join the rebuilding effort. It’s actually just him and Hop, who has started trying to quietly parent him, something he’s not entirely convinced isn’t revenge for telling Wheeler that Hop has smoked pot before. Steve is pretty sure El was crying when she came in, something he bumps up to a certainty when he sees how awkward Hop looks right now.

“You mind taking that kid? It’s been a long time since high school.” he rubs the back of his neck, Steve does appreciate that he has the decency to feel weird about asking. “If it’s anything outside of big brother shit I can take over.”

He does let himself get suckered by that big brother line.

El is facedown on her bed in a clear ‘leave me alone I’m crying’ pose but he figures he’s already here it’s not like he can turn around and tell Hop that he was too afraid to approach a crying teenage girl. Like that wasn’t the whole reason he’d been sent in the first place. “Hey Ellie, can I come in?”

She sits up, tear tracks plain on her face but no more are falling, and nods in that endearing, aggressively certain way she’s got. “Is everything okay?” He pauses and asks, “Was it Mike?” because he knows that’ll be the first thing Hopper asks when Steve comes back out.

“You are worse than Dad.”

“That stings, Ellie Bell.”

She takes a deep breath, steeling an already impressive will, “Lucas says it is okay to just want to be happy right now, but all they talk about is what they are going to do. Dustin is talking about going to admission early, Will talks about talking to Dad and Joyce about art school, Lucas worries about his sports and scholarships, and Mike talks about classes that count twice. I do not know what I want to be. I do not know why I have to be anything.”

“You guys have been through a lot. I don’t think anyone would blame you for taking time to just be a kid.”

“What if I never want to be something? What if I do not ever want to go to college?”

He’s made his way over to the bed with her, sits tentatively on the edge like he’s seen Joyce do before. “Then you don’t. You’ll probably have to get a job at some point, but that doesn’t have to be what you are. Lucas isn’t a landscaper just because he mows lawns in the summer.”

“You don’t think Dad would be upset?” she asks.

“I don’t think there’s anything you could do that would really make Hop mad. And you might change your mind. I've been out of school for almost two years and I’m only thinking about college now. Or you could go to college and change your mind about what you want to be. You could be a hundred things, you could be anything! Like Barbie.”

He feels like an idiot almost immediately. A jerk quickly after that. He’s made El’s genuine crisis part of his stupid running joke. But something settles in the room. The underlying tension, the thing that had the hair on the back of his neck raised. He realizes, now, that her powers had probably also been on edge.

"Like Barbie." She says it with a graven seriousness, like Steve's dumb little joke is a mantra now.

"Yeah, and you're a sophomore you don't have to have your whole life figured out right now. And don't take life advice from Henderson anyway, he thought it was a good idea to raise an Upside Down slug as a pet."

He mostly just used it to be a bitch though. Because it was fun. No, it was what he was good at. So good at it he didn't even have to try.

Because Steve had a plan to be bitchy. Specifically to Mike Wheeler who kept flirting with Steve’s boyfriend while taking advantage of his hospitality. Sure it was at their stupid Dungeons and Dragons game, and yeah Steve was the one who said they could host the game at his house now that Eddie had graduated. Yes, he knew Eddie didn't mean anything by it when he responded and usually didn't flirt back with the kids. But it was still the kind of behavior that had to be gently corrected, for Mike's sake because if he didn't stop things were going to get drastic.

His initial plan is already in action. He encouraged El to come along to watch the Party play. It was, admittedly, a half hearted plan. Wheeler got so awkward anytime El was around he mostly just hoped that would keep him from trying anything.

It isn't. Eddie starts to describe a new character, "Blonde and statuesque, she has a long bow in hand and delicate elven features."

And even though El is sitting a few feet from him Mike perks up the way he always does when there's a new NPC to flirt with. He is going to have to have a talk with Eddie about letting the kid try out a bard.

He does at least have one other tool in his belt. "Oh, like Barbie."

Steve knew what he'd get as he said it. A groan from Dustin, who falls for this as being sincere about as often as he falls for the dumb-dumbs and dipshits line -- which is everytime for the record. Will and Lucas keep their laughs small, enough that they're covered by Erica's snort. The original Hellfire crew mostly looks confused, it's becoming less and less their default as they warm up to the Steve he is rather than the Steve they thought they remembered; but he likes to keep them on their toes.

Eddie is charmed. He can tell. Sees him duck his head behind his screen and his binders, trying to preserve the stern and scary dungeon master image. That apparently isn't possible if you're smiling like an idiot at your stupid boyfriend, so he's been told.

And Mike has maybe been on the wrong end of the joke a few more times than everyone else. He turns an interesting shade of red, two parts anger and one part embarrassed is Steve's guess. The foot stomp is unexpected, but he expects its been passed down the Wheeler line as a shared signal of outrage. "Not like Barbie, this isn't some stupid kids game. She's probably a hot, wisened archer ready to reward us for helping her village, not some stupid doll that you're obsessed with."

Eddie's blank face with the twitchy eyes has fallen into place when he sits back up from behind his screen. His things aren't going according to plan, panicked face. "I think that's a good place to end things this week. Wheeler, Henderson, Jeff, and Lady Applejack you've all cleared enough experience to level right? Do that before next week."

Steve knows enough to keep his mouth shut while everyone packs up to leave. Sends a small smile to Erica on her way out to the family minivan, he knows she struggles a little being the youngest at the table even if she won't say it. He has to imagine that the outburst had stung a bit.

"You gotta be nicer to little Wheeler." Eddie chides once everyone is gone, halfhearted at best when he's telling Steve off into the soft skin of his neck. When he feels the admonishment more than hears it.

"I'm not mean to Mike." He says on instinct, he does try not to be. "And he started it."

"Definitely think you started the Barbie thing, Sweetheart."

And well, yeah. "I Barbie all the kids equally."

Eddie hmms Steve can feel the vibration of it through his back and on his neck. Eddie is about to start something he better plan on finishing. "He asked Hop where he should get weed."

Oh. "I didn't think he'd actually do it!" And then, "Is that why he keeps flirting with you, revenge?"

"No, he's got a bunch of misplaced jealousy because Will and the girls think you're hot." He toys with the edge of Steve's shirt as he says it. Perpetually cold fingers brushing the clothes warmed skin beneath making him shiver.

"The girls don't think I'm hot."

He hums again, nips at the blush red skin at Steve's neck. "El used to, Max definitely has a taste for jock.

"That's not my fault, you let Mike play a bard." He wishes he didn't sound so desperate.

"Wanted to leave the Paladin spot open for you, baby."

"I'm starting to feel convinced, we could go upstairs and you could show me your character sheet."

The things he'll say to get laid.

"Don't think I can do that Stevie, smooth as a Ken doll down there. Could show you the actual character sheet though."

His back is cold as Eddie pulls away, smirking unrepentant as he lets Steve have the tiniest taste of his own medicine.

"Barbie has a very active sex life, actually." He's never been one not to double down. "Let me show you the fun we can have without getting your dick out."

He does leave it alone for a little while, even though he really, really doesn't want to. But despite what his friends, his fifth grade report card, and his mom might think; Steve is capable of keeping a hold of his worst impulses when he wants to.

So he lets opportunity pass him by.

He makes no comment about Barbie when Eddie talks about how John Carpenter is a film auteur. Not even when Dustin tries to define auteur for him. Incorrectly, but Robin comes to Steve's defense.

Barbie goes unmentioned, barely when an argument breaks out about Nobel prize winners, of all things. He thinks the kids argue more now than they ever have like it's the only way they have to get their bloodlust out now that the Upside Down was closed. He was quickly boxed out of the conversation, even if Erica kept sending him little glances over everyone's heads. (She'd let him have Peace Prize Barbie a couple weeks ago and maybe he was a little obsessed.)

Holly wants to be a vet now, a singing vet who is also on TV, but mostly a vet. She tells him all about it while he waits for Mike to find his shoes? Definitely not his quarters for the arcade, the day any of them bring those is the day Steve brings the nail bat back out. He’s one impulse purchase away from getting one of those little coin dispenser belts that the employees have -- Gareth just quit, maybe he still had his? Mike's frown is a little less general annoyance at Steve and a little more confusion when he's finally ready to leave and Barbie has gone unmentioned.

He almost breaks again when Eddie starts talking about sports. Or he starts talking about NASCAR which is close enough for Eddie, he has a surprising taste for racing for someone who never wanted to put his van on the starting line at parties. A woman led a Busch Series race for the first time, what a year '86. He's got no opinion on Barbie's ability to drive at all.

He could let a joke go. He could be nice. It wasn't so out of character that it needed this kind of attention.

Mike has forgiven him by the time the next session rolls around. Delayed two weeks after Eddie screamed so loud on stage that he couldn't speak for two days, and then again for Jeff's emergency appendectomy. Eddie has stopped leaving pointed gaps in conversation for Steve to fill with mention of Barbie, he has had his thinking face on instead which is good for Steve about as often as it isn't.

He leaves it alone. A little bit of non-life threatening surprise is good for the soul, or something. Listen, he’s made it this far by only asking questions when shit is about to get really, really bad and Eddie’s thinking face has only resulted in something bad once or twice -- and they probably should have spent more than a couple minutes negotiating that particular kink anyway.

When the kids start showing up and nothing has come from the thinking face, he assumes it was just for them anyway. He settles in to see whatever shit Eddie is going to do.

"From the ditch you pull a human man, a paladin. His plate is dirtied by his time on the ground but clearly gleams in its typical state. He's handsome, a square jaw and fluffy brown hair-"

"Ugh is this Steve? You already made us do a quest for him," Mike complains, maybe he hasn’t completely forgiven Steve for that last interruption.

Steve has, by his own count been the inspiration for at least three NPCs for this campaign: a white light faction rogue, Sol, that the party had to rescue from the dungeons of the nightmare King after he was caught sneaking into the bedrooms of the prince -- like it was Steve's fault that Wayne had super hearing; a young fighter from the gladiatorial combat ring who helped the party rescue a group of kidnapped children that were going to be used as bait in the next round of fights; and the most obvious Prince Stefan who sent the party on a quest to kill his betrothed a Duke called Thomas the Boarish and rescue his knight Rowen and beloved Bard Edwin -- it's not like he could unkiss Tommy, and he could be a dick but boarish was dramatic.

He was not this paladin, assuming Eddie was telling the truth about saving the Paladin he'd made for Steve.

"Cut the out of character chatter, Michael, before it starts counting in game. The Paladin before you is handsome in a bland, approachable, non-threatening way," Mike opens his mouth again, how is that not like Steve surely perched at the edge of his tongue and stopped in its tracks by elbows from Erica and Joey. "He introduces himself to his rescuer, Will the Wise, 'Thank you, kind sir, I would have been down there for ages before my lady noticed my absence. I am Sir Kenneth.'"

"What deity does he serve?" Will asks, something suspicious drawing across his face.

"Is there a holy symbol on his armor?" Gareth follows up. Gareth has been backing a lot of Will's plays lately, Steve thinks something might be going on there but he hasn't wanted to deal with Eddie teasing him for being a meddling matchmaker, again.

"There is no identifiable holy symbol on his clothes or armor." Eddie says, there's a mischief in his eyes, the way he tilts his head with quiet challenge and smiles.

"What God do you serve?" Erica asks, blunt and to the point. She gets cranky when her rogue doesn't have anything to stab.

"'The Lady in Pink,' he answers."

Any time Eddie reveals lore shit there's always a bunch of people talking over top of each other. It always turns into the kind of mass blob of shouting that Steve has a hard time parsing out, especially these days. Eddie somehow manages to distinguish not only people but the things they're saying and keeps his cool enough to keep the story going.

"Roll your insight, Gareth. Jeff, with a 15 history check, you have heard some whisperings from your homeland about a newly ascended goddess but not a name. Dustin, you're not getting shit with a 5 don't even try that but my back story says shit with me. Will, pretty sure that's a cleric spell but I'll let you have it he's a Neutral Good alignment. An 18, shit, yeah Garebear he does seem to be telling the truth that is the deity he follows; but that isn't the whole truth, you know a lot of the newer pantheon have a colloquial name and a true name."

"I'm sorry," Lucas says, "we aren't familiar with your lady. What can you tell us about her? Why would she leave you there? And that's a 14 on persuasion before you even ask."

"Why would I have asked that, Sinclair the elder? He has stars in his eyes when he speaks, 'before she ascended she was already limitless. A powerful warrior, an expert marksman, a mage beyond compare. Her power grew and grew until the only place left to explore was godhood.'"

"And what's her real name, if we wanted to spread the word?" Joey asks.

"'Oh she's everything. She's the lady in pink, she's the goddess with the golden mane, but before she ascended she favored one name I assume she has kept it.'"

"What is it?" Mike asks, perched at the edge of his seat.

"Oh no," Dustin whispers, a dawning horror on his face.

"'Barbara, though she preferred it shortened. Nicknames you call them," Steve sees the joke, knows where this is going a split second before reality breaks through the haze of fantasy for the players around the table. Eddie's smirking now, smile too pleased and too attractive. "'Y'know like Barbie?'"

#steddie #steve harrington #steddie fic #and in 1996 when steve and eddie are expecting their first kid - a daughter #erica gifts them the barbie camper so steve has something while he waits for the real thing #listen you know that oh like barbie post with the steve speaking image below it #i saw that and this happened #i just wanted to try out a little steve and erica bonding #and it turned into steve being a bitchy big brother #steve and eddies love language is being dicks #but their secondary love language is not letting the bit die and i do believe that #so eddie had to take it up when steve set it down

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strawb3rry-acid · 2 months

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König and Social Anxiety

I just wanted too ramble a little bit about how I personally believe that König's social anxiety affects him, coming from someone who struggles with severe social anxiety. I've seen a bit of misconceptions in the past (though it seems to have died down now thankfully) about social anxiety, so I just wanted to give my own opinion. Per usual, this is fairly long lol ♡

This post is purely meant to analyse his social anxiety instead of his personality, and just talk a bit about social anxiety in general. If you hold different opinions that's completely okay. These are just my thoughts.

If you're struggling/have struggled mentally in any way, shape, or form please know that you are not alone. You're loved, accepted, heard, appreciated, and cared for. Keep going, you've got this. It'll all be okay, I promise 🫂

─ 𓆡𓆝𓆞𓆟𓆜𓆛 ─

So, for starters let me just get it out of the way that we, unfortunately, know practically nothing about König, or anything about the ways in which his social anxiety makes an impact on his life. The most when know when it comes to the latter would be the mentions that it's severe, likely developed due to his experiences with being bullied as a child, and that he likes to go unnoticed. Sure, we have voicelines, but I don't personally feel it captures clues as too how his social anxiety affects him. It eludes to his personality sure, but not so much his symptoms. I feel it's also important to mention that his disorder isn't his personality. It may have an affect on it of course, but it's not his personality.

Coming from someone who struggles with the same mental health condition I can be a completely different person in a place I feel I'm at my best in. Hell, sometimes it can seem nonexistent, but put me in a different situation, and it's nearly impossible too miss. In a military setting, König is definitely in his element. Not only is he in his element, but the military also provides structure, and consistency, which is very important when it comes to coping with any form of anxiety disorder, or any mental health condition in general.

I think it's important too mention as well that social anxiety isn't the same thing as being introverted, and/or shy. Does having it make it more likely for individuals too be introverted, and/or shy? Absolutely, but it doesn't always mean they will be. Social anxiety also doesn't mean that you don't like people. For many people it tends to mean that you're frightened about the negative possibilities when it comes to interacting with people. (For example, I love people, and I love getting to know people, but I'm often way to scared about humiliating myself/being judged to actually do it, so I usually I won't, and will avoid social events like the plague.)

I have no doubt in my mind that König feels like everyone has their eyes on him 24/7, and that they're somehow judging him in some way. Going off of his bio, I personally think the mentions that he was often bullied, and that he only found acceptance in fighting indicates that the bullying was likely on more of a severe scale. I doubt he found confidence in others very often, if at all, and really lacks skills in the socializing department.

He picks and chooses his words very carefully, and spends quite sometime practicing what he wants to say. He likely plans for every way the interaction could turn out, especially the worst case scenario. After the event, it'll be on his mind for quite some time as he replays it over and over again in his head, searching for any clues that he made them uncomfortable/embarrassed himself all while beating himself up for not saying/doing something better.

When he's not a blood thirsty, loud, human battering ram on the field I think he's very quiet, and is the type of person to stick to a wall, or the corner of a room. He's very observant of the people around him, and will try to be alone as much as possible to avoid any stress. When coworker's try to approach him, especially if it's unprompted, then he's very short with them. Of course, this makes him come off as rude, which I don't think he's trying to be most of the time. He's just nervous, and wants to be left alone so it doesn't show to other people. Plus he's very awkward, and doesn't want too risk saying the "wrong" thing that could result in him being judged/humiliated. Especially if he hasn't had the time to plan what he wants to say.

I do think he does feel bad when he behaves that way towards someone with genuinely good intentions, and who just wants to get to know him better, but he isn't too sure how to handle it if it comes out of nowhere. He tries, but he's not very good at it most of the times. He's polite enough, he's just very awkward which tends to come off as him being standoffish, and his discomfort tends to get misinterpreted as him being an ass. He's usually bad with words, and people overall which results in him being probably a fairly isolated man.

I think that when he's on leave, and out living the average civilian life is when it presents itself. He's expected to act a fairly different way when compared to how he acts on the job, and is completely out of his element. I think he's very different with civilians than he is with the people he works with. He knows that he really intimidates them, especially women and children, and tries his best to make himself appear as less frightening as possible. His tone is likely more hushed, his face is more soft, and he tries not too be as short as he is with coworkers. Kinda backfires though in some ways as he can come off as sounding very serious unintentionally, which makes him feel like a dick.

I think it's important to mention again that his social anxiety is specified as being severe which means it heavily impacts his life. Does that mean that he doesn't know how to cope with it, or live a fairly normal life? Of course not, but it still majorly effects him even if it doesn't show outwardly. There's likely some things he simply can't/won't do often, or at all due to his social anxiety. These thing's probably involve big social events, and instances where all focus is soely on him. Combine those two together, and you have a situation he'd never willingly put himself in.

He probably does have panic attacks. He probably will sweat, blush, stutter, and show other physical symptoms of anxiety in high stress situations that he can't escape from. I don't think this happens often (At least not in front of people. The last thing he'd want people to know is that he struggles with social anxiety in case it makes him a target.), but it most likely does happen. I want to mention this because I think it's important to talk about, but I've seen some people bring down other's for including symptoms of König's anxiety in their writing, and it's really disheartening.

He may be an intimidating, middle aged mountain of a military man, but he still had feelings. He's still a human being, not a complete monster. He's not going to start a random verbal/physical altercation with a random person that hasn't started anything with him to try to bring them down. I personally think, just like most of the other characters, he's a normal guy when not on the job.

#cod mw2 #konig cod #konig mw2 #könig #könig call of duty #könig cod #könig mw2 #cod mwii #cod x reader #mw2 #modern warfare 2 #cod modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare #cod mw3 #modern warefare ii #modern warfare #modern warefare 2 x reader #cod #mw 2023

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lakesbian · 3 months

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i have had like 10 friends rec worm to me but nobody’s given me a good like, gist of its vibe and what its abt because ‘its best blind’, could u please give a like brief summary and vibe check of it 😭 it’s so long i dont wanna try and invest that much time without knowing much abt it

so, worm is a 1.7 million word long webserial written in 2010. 1.7 million words seems like a lot, but it was also written over a relatively short period of time, which means the writing style is very easy to parse--the ideas aren't without complexity, but the language itself isn't intimidatingly dense. you can get through it at a very decent pace. i agree with your friends that there are vast portions of worm that hit best when you're unspoiled, but the thing is that worm is long enough that giving you the basic plot pitch is in no way spoilers for any of the things that i wouldn't want to see spoiled for someone. i'm actually kind of baffled they're not telling you Any Thing, because it is in my estimation one of the best books i've ever read, but it also Needs a briefing before you get into it for like five different reasons. which i will now provide. i swear to god this is brief by my standards it's just that i am very thorough

worm is a story about superheroes and supervillains, set in a world where superpowers are traumagenic--rather than appearing randomly or innately, some people gain powers after a traumatizing event happens to them. the protagonist is taylor hebert, a 15yo girl who has the power to control insects and desperately wants to be a superhero. and then accidentally finds herself scouted by a team of teenage villains instead. who's to say how she's going to react to all that!

one of the most compelling things about worm is that the superpowers in it serve as visceral, hyper-literal metaphors for the trauma and traumatized coping mechanisms of the characters with those powers. each power is incredibly specific and thematically relevant to the person who has it, and it's incredibly interesting and evocative. it feels so natural and well-done that it comes off like how superpowers are just meant to be written.

the fact that superpowers stem from trauma also means that worm is fundamentally a narrative about trauma. specifically, about traumatized teenagers and the relationships they form as they cling together while struggling through growing up traumatized & mutually coping with an increasingly intriguing, intense, and far-reaching escalating plot. worm's depictions of trauma + mental illness--including unpalatable trauma responses, including traumatized characters who are allowed to be complicated and nuanced and messy while still receiving narrative respect--are deeply real-feeling and impactful, and they're placed in the context of a well-spun + engaging story.

i really do have to stress how excellent the character writing is. worm is fully deserving of being as long as it is. over the course of 1.7 million words of character development, the average reader's reaction to the main characters goes from "sorta interesting" to "okay, i want to see where this goes" to "augh...really likable" to "i am now on hands and knees crying and these characters are going to stick around in my brain forever." wildbow has incredible talent for efficiently conveying complicated, real-feeling, and viscerally evocative characterization. many of the interlude chapters (chapters written from the perspective of different characters other than taylor) are so interesting, fleshed-out, and emotionally affecting that they make you wish you could read an entire novel about just the side character being featured. with that level of characterization for just the side cast, it's not surprising that taylor (& co) are genuinely just downright iconic. and i do not say that lightly--taylor is truly one of the best-written protagonists i've seen in anything. ever.

the other main pitch-point for worm is that it's a fascinating deconstruction/reconstruction/examination of the conceits of the superhero genre. it answers the question of--what would the world have to be like, for people with superpowers to act the way they do in classic cape media? and it does this well enough that it's interesting even if you have only a passing familiarity with cape media. i am not a big superhero media fan, but worm addresses virtually every aspect of cape media that was under the sun around 2010 in a way that's so interesting i still find it incredibly engaging. the approach it takes makes the narrative very accessible even to people who aren't usually cape media fans.

and speaking of the narrative: the end of the story is coherent and satisfying and deeply thematically resonant*. the way worm follows through on all of its main mysteries & plot threads is excellent. you don't have to worry about getting thru 1.7 million words and being dissatisfied by the author shitting the bed at the end, or anything like that. he does an amazing job of weaving together plot events in a way that makes each successive one feel rationally, thematically, and emotionally connected to what came before. there's really only one part where i feel the story stumbles a bit, but i think it was the best option he had for the narrative, and it's by no means a dealbreaker. it's in fact really impressive how cohesive and satisfying worm is for such a long webserial released over such a brief period of time.

*this is subjective ive seen some people who didnt love it but ive never seen anyone who downright Hated it who didnt also demonstrate egregious misunderstanding of literally everything worm is about. so thats a good sign

as for the downsides of worm/things that might put you off:

there is a very long list of trigger warnings for it. if you have any trigger warnings you want you should ask your friends to let you know about the relevant parts, because the fact that it's About Trauma (& about typical cape media circumstances presented very seriously) means that traumatic and violent things & their realistic aftermath are constantly happening and/or being discussed. i would not classify worm as needlessly dark or spiteful to the audience by any means, but it is intense and covers a lot of heavy topics. i do assume if your friends are all recommending it to you, they think none of the material would be too much for you, though!

worm was written in 2010 by a white cishet guy from canada. it's typical levels of 2010-era bigoted, it has a deeply lesbophobic stereotype character, it has some atrociously racist stereotype characters, the author really hates addicts, It's Got Blind Spots. i think worm is generally fully worth reading despite these, but very fair warning that it can get bad. i think what exacerbates this is that worm is generally extremely nuanced & sympathetic regarding ideas such as "crime is a result of systematic circumstance vs people just being inherently evil" and "mentally ill people who are traumatized in unpalatable ways are still deserving of fundamental respect as human beings" and so on and so forth, so it's extra noticeable and insufferable when you get to a topic the author has unexamined biases on and all that nuance drops out. the worst part is that a lot of this is most concentrated in the early arcs, so you have to get through them without being super attached to any of the characters yet. it is worth it though.

worm like. Does have a central straight relationship in it. and it's a very well written straight relationship for the most part and i like it quite a lot. but worm also passes the bechdel test with such flying colors that it enters 'unintentionally homoerotic' territory. which means a lot of people were shipping the main character ms taylor hebert with her female friends while the story was being released. which caused the author to get so mad he 1. posted a word of god to a forum loudly insisting that all of the girls are straight and 2. inserted a few deeply awkward and obvious and out of character scenes where he finds an excuse for the girls to more or less turn to the camera and go "i'm not gay, btw. this is platonic." This is fucking insufferable, and will piss you off immensely, but then you will get to any of the number of deeply emotionally affecting scenes between them, and at that point you will be too busy sniffling piteously and perhaps crytyping an analysis post on tumblr to be mad about all that other shit. also they're only a couple tiny portions out of an entire overall fantastic novel

overall: if those points don't sound like dealbreakers (i hope they aren't they're really massively outstripped by the amount of devastatingly good moments in worm, worm still has a thriving fandom over a decade later for a reason), you should absolutely give it a shot and see what you think. my final note is that you have to read up until the end of arc 8 to really see where what makes worm Worm kicks in, so aim for at least there to see how you feel about it if you're just thinking about dipping your toes in vs fully committing. i hope that was helpful and not too long :)

oh and don't go in the comments section on wordpress if you don't want spoilers. or anywhere else in the fandom at all. you will be spoiled. quite possibly for things you could not even have imagined were topics to be spoiled on.

#ask #wormblr #parahumans #ill tag it to save it so i can reference later. and maybe other people will find it helpful

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m1ssunderstanding · 2 months

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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 1.2

George: We don't have to keep [an image] up, we just remain ourselves. Don't we, Ringo? Ringo: well, we do, I mean, it's the other two we're worried about. It's a joke about John and Paul being bigheads, but a crazy person – definitely not me – could also see it other ways if they wanted to.

Paul talking about their mutual friend when asked how they met and John telling him not to complicate it. They're so married it's ridiculous.

Always looking at each other with every single joke.

He looks like he's in a lovely enclosure at the petting zoo. I've always been so confused by this footage. Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on?

I LOVE that we now know Paul was cast as Thisbe and John as Pyramus and then they switched. I'm actually dying to know how and why that happened though. My first instinct was “of course. Paul was scared he'd look too convincing as a woman, so John did it for him.” But no. Paul dressed as a woman at the cavern, wore ladies lingerie in Hamburg, and wanted to do a full drag show on TV in the early seventies. So why not Thisbe?

Why do you as a man randomly bring up the color of your friend's dick while staring lovingly into his eyes?

It must be noted. They had a wonderful time playing star-crossed lovers.

The bickering pianos are so cute! And then John (prompting Paul): and John and I . . . Paul: oh I hate this. John: will probably carry on . . . Paul: we'll carry on songwriting . . . You just know Paul didn't hear the end of that one interview answer for a long long time. And it's because John just had to hear it over and over again.

Love the editing so that Paul smacks John's ass right as the symbols crash. 10/10 A+

This iconic moment. Poor George tally number 4.

Interviewer brings up marriage and John takes a shot like he wants to forget that the whole concept even exists. Literally poor Cynthia. And not even in an “lol her husband's gay” type of way. Just in a genuine “the way their relationship fell apart actually breaks my heart because she really did love him and in his way he loved her too but they were just so thoroughly incompatible” type of way.

Paul: makes a stupid dad joke. John: giggles gleefully and kicks his feet

I have never seen someone so disappointed that they didn't need to lend their friend a pen. Paul had his hand in his pocket before John even asked the interviewer for a pen and when the interviewer gives him one, Paul literally hangs his head like he's just been cut from the school play. I just. The obsession is frankly cartoonish. But also, he just needs to be needed, you know? How many songs does he have which conflate being needed and being loved?

The juxtaposition of Paul and John elaborately messing with the interviewer (“yes John Lenard, that's me” and “actually it's done by mirrors.”) vs George's “I don't know” and “yeah.” it's actually kind of mean editing but whatever. It is ULM not UH. Someone should make that though.

Again, John. Calm down. He's not that funny. Just look at Jimmy. That's the normal person's reaction to that joke. John is half the reason Paul has such a big head honestly.

Paul's answer to a question about the Beatles gaining a lot of adult fans is nice. Sometimes he shocks with a bit of wisdom. Sometimes his words don't get messed up at the point they hit his throat as he says.

What the fuck? Okay so the interviewer asks Paul what he likes in a girl, right? I've always been too distracted by Paul saying he likes a sense of humor and John doing an obnoxious fake laugh in the background because John. It's embarrassing how obvious you are. Stop.

But I never noticed Paul actually says “people”. The interviewer asks about girls and he says he likes “people - er - girls” to have a sense of humor. Huh. Okay.

So ULM was actually what made me a serious Beatles fan and this was the first moment where I had to pause it and verify to see if what I'd just read was actually true. It really is a doozy.

How to flirt. A guide by Paul McCartney. Step one: get your crush’s attention. This should be extremely easy. Just gesture vaguely at something you're holding. He'll be interested. Step two: do something suggestive to a phallic object. Step three: that's it. You've got him. He'll do whatever you want.

The editing in this thing truly is brutal. Just the jump cuts from a question about Cynthia to John and Paul making each other laugh to girls screaming to John and Paul unnecessarily touching to girls passed out on the ground to John and Paul desperate for each other's attention to girls waving signs to John and Paul sharing weird eye contact to girls physically mobbing them to John and Paul beaming at each other to a question about Jane. It really does drive home the immense pressure of compulsory heterosexuality back then.

Then a question that's obviously meant to poke a nerve and start some bad feelings. “Paul. Is John the leader of the Beatles?” Easily rebuffed with “no I'm not” and “there's no real leader”. I know I'm dramatic but really it's like every aspect of that society was against them you know? And they just kind of said "fuck you, we're crazy about each other."

Question: what do they think about when they're imprisoned in their hotel rooms? John: we don't think about one thing. *Whips head to look at Paul* well, some of us do. Oh and you know that how exactly? What, do you just have a printout of his every thought? Do you keep constant tabs on his dick?

Someone give me the heterosexual explanation of that moment when John very clearly and obviously checks out and appreciates Paul's ass as he and Ringo are pretending to be cowboys. Seriously. I'm at a loss here.

Poor George tally number six? Seven? They're asked what they'll do if England reinstates the draft. John brings up Southern Ireland. George brings up Germany. Paul and John plan their joint escape to Southern Ireland as if George hadn't even spoken.

The choice to play “Another Girl” over that quote of John's being like ‘Paul's actually much meaner than i am’ is great. Because that's seriously such a jerk song. I don't much like Jane, honestly, but fuck, she deserved so much better than Paul. He was such a douche.

Literally all the song choices in this are phenomenal. “Hide Your Love Away” over the montage of 60s homophobia moments? It's so genius. Saying everything without saying anything. Letting the Beatles do the talking.

The laugh track over the cartoon is honestly so sad. Nobody asked them if they were okay with being mocked like that and they never even made a dime off it. What would that have felt like to know that your being “too close” with your best friend was a running joke on TV?

“It's only love and that is all. Why should I feel the way I do?”

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison

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mono-dot-jpeg · 8 months

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a child and their 9ft pet - astral express crew

summary; the adventures of a 7 year old and their large mythical beast called ossy.

genre/extra tags; bullet fic/headcanons, anxious! reader, reader is connected to most animals (but mostly their companion), reader is from the luofu, i made reader a bit know it all sassy but it's okay it's only for a little bit, reader is a smart baby

[platonic] [7 year old! reader] [gender neutral! reader]

[buy me a kofi to support!]

a/n; this is the most steven universe shit i've seen /j /nm, that's what popped into my mind upon reading this ask. nothing wrong with it. just pointing it out KSDJKSJ also this is based off lion dog from chinese mythology which is what i assume you were describing from the shih tzu and also im rather familiar with the lion dog myself as someone who used to visit temples with my family (love those statues). anyways, hope you enjoy, you didn't really specify what type of work you wanted, so i did bullet fic/hcs

the crew met you when you were trying to avoid them

you're not really normal in the luofu, you were not really an anomaly but you weren't a normal kid either.

the general knew of you due to your larger than life pet.

well... it was more of a beast of mythic lore turned real but who's arguing about definitions here?

even if your pet was in a smaller form, they were still pretty big. about 4ft. maybe twice your height almost

but jingyuan let you have your pet as long as you weren't making trouble

anyways, back to the actual subject at hand.

the astral crew needed to find you since you were supposedly the young scholar of the luofu who seemed to know everything and loved learning about everything

you were almost a historian some would even say

but you didn't really like the idea of being a historian

you just like learning about everything

but you weren't the best around people

so when you met the crew .. .

you jumped right into your pet's fur, disappearing without a trace

"HUH?!"

"how did they disappear like that?"

"did they just jump into that animal's fur?"

march tries to reach out, but the dog barks angrily and backs up

"okay okay! sorry.. puppy?"

"they're not a puppy!" your voice erupts from the soft fur of the dog (?) your head pops up startling the express crew, "they're a lion! get it right!" you scolded them.

"but they don't look like a lion."

"and you don't look like a local, so what's it to you!?" you huffed. "you don't know everything about the luofu!"

"that's why we're here. we need to know more about the history of your home." the eldest man, welt yang, spoke gently. "general jingyuan sent us."

you sigh as you cuddle into your pet's fur, still leaving the crew to wondering how you're being contained in it. "okay. what do you want to know?" and you begrudgingly answer their questions. you eventually leave your pet's fur and they keep your feeling less anxious about the strangers who imposed on your reading time.

and that's it for now.

the crew is mildly concerned and curious about you\

they spot you around different parts of the luofu as they continue their adventure.

let's say that they even had more time to get to know you better. how you're kind of a wild card for the luofu cloud knights and how you'd rather do a plain hobby than fight.

but you're perfectly capable of doing so

well, mostly your pet.

boy were they shocked when they saw your already large ish lion change and grow into a true creature of mythology, and fought the marastruck with ease.

"no chewing! marastruck isn't good for your diet!" you had scolded after the fight was over. "put them down ossy!" despite their cowering size, they almost shrink at your words and remind the crew of a sad puppy or cat. but ossy listens to you and spits out the marastruck, letting it disintegrate into the air.

yeah.. the crew was even more curious after that.

trailblazer was the only brave enough to speak what they were all thinking. what is your pet and how did you get them?

and you told them the simple story that you gained them as a family heirloom and bonded a contract with them. you even formed other contracts with other animals but not as strong as ossy's contract.

ossy was sort of a present from your family as you came from a line of mythic beast tamers and now you're here with them

and after that, you visit the express once in a while with ossy by your side to get a break from the streets of luofu

you take up your other hobbies when you're in the express, often knitting or drawing and you make drawings and little bracelets from the crew. while your drawings and knitting works arent as amazing as your knowledge, you don't mind because it just means more to learn and improve on.

you love being with the crew now and you love ossy more than ever of course!

#honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail welt #honkai x reader #honkai star rail dan heng #hsr march 7th #honkai star rail march 7th #caelus honkai star rail #stelle honkai star rail #caelus x reader #stelle x reader #march 7th x reader #welt yang x reader #dan heng x reader

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queer-reader-07 · 2 months

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a love letter to trans romance

because i can't be normal about media and i'm making it y'all's problems

hi hello and welcome to my mildly unhinged ramblings about love and gender. this post comes to you in three sections, enjoy <3

t4t romance novels made me believe in love again

the first romance book i ever read was The Feeling of Falling in Love by Mason Deaver. TFOFIL is a t4t (trans for trans) romance that follows a teenage trans boy, Neil Kearney, and a figuring-out-their-gender teen, Wyatt Fowler, as they get themselves wrapped up in peak YA romcom shenaniganary and eventually fall in love. cute, right? just a fun little romcom, not much more to it?

yeah well that's what i thought going in, but coming out of that book i was in tears. tears because i'd never read a story about trans love before. tears because at that point in my life i'd never allowed myself to fully claim the word "trans." tears because Wyatt made me feel so seen and so real.

there's this one scene where Wyatt is talking to Neil and they describe themself as being the kind of person who sometimes wants to wear makeup and dresses, but other times they like their body hair and scruffy beard. and i just remember nodding along and then absolutely melting because Neil takes it in stride, he comforts Wyatt and let's them know that they don't need to have it figured out just yet. Neil makes it clear that he's there, and that Wyatt doesn't need to come out to anyone unless they're ready.

Mason Deaver has another t4t romance, Okay, Cupid. and that similarly had me in my feels because there is something so special about finding people who embrace you for all that you are.

every t4t romance I've read has one thing in common, the fact that the love interests do not love each despite the other's transness. their transness is not an obstacle to love or to attraction or to adoration, it is an object of it. their transness is something to be admired and to be loved and to be cared for. it is not something the other has to "get over."

reading The Feeling of Falling in Love was the first time i ever thought to myself "maybe, just maybe, i can call myself trans and still be loved." because up until that point i hadn't let myself accept that i was some flavor of trans. up until that point i'd said "not cis" without ever saying trans because i was so scared my being trans would make me unlovable. t4t romance books showed me how wrong i was. they showed me that my ability to be loved was not dependent on my girlhood.

ha you thought i could write something this long on tumblr and NOT mention good omens? think again bestie

i have held a trans reading of crowley since i read the book and the show only solidified it for me. crowley canonically plays with gender.

he's dressed femme during the crucifixion scene, his modern look is a mix of men's and women's pieces, his hair is a Whole Thing in and of itself. i could go on but i digress.

but it's not just the way he plays with gender that informs my trans reading of him. it's also how his character arc can very easily be read as an allegory for transness.

an angel who falls (a girl who isn't a girl anymore)

a fallen angel turned demon (a girl who is a boy now)

a demon who isn't really a demon anymore (a used to be girl, a thought to be boy, is now nonbinary)

girl = angel and boy = demon is entirely arbitrary in this please don't read into it

now, you may be thinking "A how in god's name does this apply to trans romance?" to which i say, aziraphale falls in love with every version of crowley. aziraphale beams heart eyes at angel!crowley before the beginning and loves crowley as a demon for millennia and is so deeply and unabashedly in love with crowley in his not-quite-demon form of s2.

aziraphale loves all the versions of crowley because crowley's angel or demon-ness (gender) is not the reason aziraphale loves crowley. aziraphale doesn't love crowley because he's a demon or because he used to be an angel, aziraphale loves crowley because it's crowley. crowley in whatever clothes he chooses to where, crowley with whatever hairstyle he's fancying at the moment, crowley as he inhabits the shades of grey just a little more.

to me, that is so easy to read as a trans love story. you could argue it's t4t depending on how you read aziraphale, but to me, it's at the very least a love story between a mostly-demon who gets down to some gender fuckery and an angel who loves him very much.

fuck it let's talk about fanfiction

i don't think i could make this post without mentioning @ineffabildaddy's fic I'm Beginning to See the Light.

i have a complicated relationship with my body. i don't plan to ever medically transition because i don't want to make any permanent changes to my body. but there are days where all i want is to have a flat chest and hips that are flush with the rest of my body but instead i'm stuck with tits and an hourglass figure cis people always seem to focus on.

i don't hate my body, but the idea that anyone could look at it and not just see A Woman is beyond me. i walk through life being perceived as a very feminine woman even on the days that i feel the most androgynous. the idea that a lover could look at my body and still see me for who i am feels like a dream that could never happen.

and IBTSTL slapped me (lovingly) across the face with the message that, actually, i can be loved as my whole self and that there are people out there who don't look at me and see A Woman and those people don't love me any less. IBTSTL made me feel safe in my trans body because it said "you are worthy of love and adoration because your transness is not something to get past it is something to admire. it is something to love."

i think the point i'm trying to make here is this: trans love stories are so special to me. they've been so vital in my own journey to love and accept myself. they're the reason i can imagine myself maybe having romantic love in the future.

representation matters, it can quite literally change your life.

#well wasn't that fun?#now excuse me while i go hide from the internet because my feelings are being perceived #anyway #trans love everything!#good omens #trans books #t4t romance #trans

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sequencefairy · 6 days

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I've started writing this post like, four times already, and I keep discarding the drafts instead of continuing because it's too close, still. But i know i need to unpack this instead of just letting it live inside of me to fester and rot and make me bitter, which will just mean that the haters won, because it's their fault the joy is gone.

Something happened this weekend here on tumblr and elsewhere in other fanspaces and across the wider internet. Something horrible. I've been through fandom implosions before, I was in the trenches with VLD, I walked through the end of Bleach, but this was orders of magnitude worse.

The meanness. The cruelty. The way so many people forgot that the people on their TV, laptop and phone screens are people. That the words they're gleefully typing into their little comment boxes and their posts are being seen by real people, and not just the people at which they are directed.

This fandom has long had a problem with passive, and also less passive, racism. This fandom has long had a problem with boundaries between ourselves and the people we are fans of. I think these two things combined into a horrid creature that was beyond the imagining of anyone.

I slept very little this weekend. I have been more anxious the last three days than I have ever been in my life. I worried every time I opened the tumblr app what thing I might find in my inbox or as a reply on one of my posts. I worried about friends in the fandom, who were dealing not only with the barrage of vitriol not directed at them, but also who were receiving it themselves for daring to be supportive of the general plan.

I am lucky. I have spaces to retreat to. I have friends who are both in and not in this fandom, who have checked in with me to make sure I'm doing okay. My partner has shouldered the bulk of managing the house this weekend because I couldn't. It was too much to think about how to deal with that when all this was going on inside my phone and my laptop. I am also lucky because I am not a person of colour.

Watching folks in this fandom who I know to be folks of colour wade into the fray and knowing that they are seeing the same takes that I was seeing about Steven and about Ryan, makes my heart want to shrivel up in my chest. It hurt me to watch people turn on Watcher this weekend, but I cannot imagine how much it hurt my friends, who might have been watching people they used to trust or enjoy or feel like they knew, spew racist and hateful rhetoric over a business decision they didn't agree with.

I'm not going to litigate whether things could have been done differently, because it really doesn't matter to me, but I am going to say that a level of trust has been shattered here in this fandom space. I can't have fun with people about Watcher content when I have to check and make sure they weren't among the people who were calling for violence against a man whose crime was poorly communicating a business decision to a fandom they used to extoll as kind and generous. If my trust in the wider fandom has been broken then I have to assume our fandom friends of colour's trust has also been shredded.

This has fundamentally changed how I want to engage with and in fandom, and not for the better. I don't have an answer for what this means for me going forward, but I am just so sad. I am so sad that a place of great joy has been sapped of that feeling and I don't know how I'm going to get it back.

I don't know if I want to.

#things jess says #maybe i will have more to say later but like #this weekend has been a lot #and i have finally come all the way down from angry #and all that's left is this despair

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wispscribbles · 1 month

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hi i just discovered your beautiful art so i obviously needed to scroll down your whole blog to catch up on everything you posted haha

i just wanted to say that i got way too emotional after reading that post of yours regarding mw3 and your mental health… on one hand i’m so sorry that you felt that way, but on the other i feel it with my whole heart

ghoap content especially for me helped me these past few months with my mental health in ways i would never have expected, it was my solace and inspiration, i started working out too and got back into drawing, got a lot better at it as well!

but unfortunately i get way too fixated on fictional stuff and there comes a time that my brain switches up and connects the things i liked and comforted me with things that make me extremely uncomfortable and stressed out, especially if i fall down a fandom rabbit hole that i would never have searched up, beacuse i know myself, i know my limits and triggers but i feel like i’m not a part of the fandom if i don’t like and interact with every single headcanon, art and ship

these past days i was really down because of that, and the things i read (why did i do that???) and now when i think of ghoap i think of that stuff and im scared that i alienated myself from the one thing that made me happy

but discovering your art and with that your post reminded me that im not alone in these feelings, even if it’s not the same exactly, and i wanted to thank you, for sharing your thoughts that time i guess haha <33

((sorry for rambling))

Long reply under 'keep reading' !! CW: talk of triggers and MCD

Always feel free to ramble my way!!! How nice you could find some comfort in my art and ghoap stuff. Especially in my mw3 post. I've been considering deleting it a few times, but hearing it maybe helped to read in some way makes me happy I left it up.

I get where you're coming from - I very much use these fictional characters as a safe space, but ppl view them very differently. There's room for it all, "don't like, don't interact" is very much a policy I agree with. It's important to mute words and be aware of your own triggers as you browse stuff in this fandom, because there's such a wide variety of stuff out there. You do NOT have to interact and agree with every thought people have on this ship, that's impossible and super stressful. There's plenty of stuff and headcanons I don't vibe with. There are no 'requirements' that you have to meet in order to enjoy fiction.

It's part of why I enjoy ghoap - that their dynamic resonates and has sparked so much creativity and outlets for so many - but it also means there's gonna be a lot of stuff u don't necessarily agree with or feel comfortable with. For example, a lot of folks use the MCD in mw3 as a way to explore grief, which I think is really cool, but on a bad day that could potentially get my brain in a bad headspace, so I only check out that art and those fics when I feel okay. There's also a bunch of stuff I'd never want to interact with, and that’s fine !!

I'm personally quite vanilla and a sucker for exploring the softer, more domestic aspects of these characters. It's what brings me joy. I know there are parts of this fandom who don’t vibe with what I make at all, and would call it untrue to the characters. Some creators enjoy exploring the more violent or toxic sides to the source material. That's just how it is, we all need different things from fiction. As long as we're capable of chilling in our respective sandboxes, then all's good.

But if you're like me, and enjoy the softer things, then definitely be aware and careful while exploring this ship and fandom. I've seen takes on these characters that are so far removed from how I view them, that they're basically the complete opposite, and it can leave a very bad taste, especially if you're the type to hinge your safe space on fiction.

Just... be mindful of yourself and your potential triggers, be respectful and don't interact with things that make you uncomfortable to the point of feeling unsafe. Shape your own online experience to your best ability.

Hope you're doing okay and still find joy in ghoap <3

#ask #anon ask #long post #mcd #mcd mention #major character death #mw3 spoilers #ish #few extra thoughts in tags:#sry it took a while to respond. i wanted to give a proper answer #hope this makes sense or helps somehow #and if interacting with this fandom continues to have a negative impact on your mental health then take a break #i understand using fiction as an outlet or safe space (i do it) but if the bad starts outweighing the good then try to distance yourself #don't dive into those rabbit holes that u know will make u feel bad #i understand the urge but its so important to protect yourself online #I’m far from an expert on this stuff so this is just my two cents #stay safe!!

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shegeekery · 2 months

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Reparenting Loki

I want to talk about a dynamic in the Loki/Mobius relationship (in the Loki TV-series) that I've seen touched on but not really discussed in depth.

Note to Lokius-lovers: nothing I say here in any way precludes a healthy romantic relationship. They're both consenting adults, after all, and this wasn't a formal therapist-client relationship.

There's a technique in therapy called "reparenting". The idea is that trauma and behaviors caused by bad parenting can be addressed to some extent if the therapist assumes the role of a "good parent".

I think we can all agree that the "All-Father" was crap as an actual father. Odin knew that Loki took after him even more than Thor did, but many of those shared traits were things that he tried to hide from everyone, while Thor better represented the image he wanted to project. The result was a cruel favoritism, which was picked up by Thor and the rest of the Asgardians. Frigga's love and support wasn't enough to counteract that cruelty, particularly in a strongly patriarchal society like Asgard.

Side note (because I'm that kind of geek): there were so many similarities between Odin and Loki (Odin's friend and blood-brother rather than his son) in the old Norse myths that some scholars have suggested that Loki was at one point simply an aspect of Odin. There's also evidence that the stories as they came down to us were manipulated by the Christians who committed them to writing to shoehorn Loki into something more like the Christian Devil.

Anyway, getting back to our guys... Within the context of the TVA, Mobius represented an authority figure to Loki, who had a long history of rebelling against (or betraying) authority for obvious reasons.

I think the first turning point in the relationship for Loki was:

Loki: I am smart!

Mobius: I know. Loki is rarely left speechless, but his only response to Mobius's simple affirmation was a very un-Loki-like "Okay..." He didn't know how to respond because he wasn't used to that kind of thing, particularly from someone who had power over him. It happened again with:

Loki: A villain.

Mobius: That's not how I see it.

The dynamic between these two people throughout Season 1 was like that. Mobius's genuine love (whether you read it as romantic, platonic, fatherly, brotherly, or a mix of any or all of these) for and non-judgmental acceptance of Loki was apparent from the start, but of course Loki's experiences during his very long lifetime made it nearly impossible for him to trust that until Mobius's actions convinced him that it was real. Learning to trust Mobius also allowed Loki to see himself in a new light.

For his part, Mobius consistently modeled what a good father would have been: loving and accepting, yes, but still able to apply "tough love" when that was warranted. Mobius didn't put Loki into the bad-memory loop to punish him because he was angry (though he was angry, or at least a bit hurt and disappointed). He was just trying to force Loki to acknowledge a truth about himself so that they could move forward — and it worked!

Mobius's instincts and experience as an actual father to two boys, one reasonably well-behaved and the other a mischievous troublemaker, served him well in this, even if he didn't consciously remember his life on the timeline.

Mobius all but confirmed this when he said:

Mobius: I see a scared little boy, shivering in the cold...

It's also significant that when Loki brought this up later, he called it "patronizing", which we usually use to mean "condescending", but can also mean "supporting" and has its root in the Latin word "pater" (father).

I see the hug in episode 1-5 as a sign that the reparenting had taken hold, and that Loki, while not completely healed (it would take a lot more than that!), was at least in a place where he could trust someone, accept love/friendship, and think beyond his own wants and needs.

By Season 2, the relationship between the two men was evolving into one of equals, but even then Loki still occasionally looked to Mobius for guidance. Mobius's approval had become important to him. When Loki witnessed the firm but compassionate way in which Don dealt with two boys who were so like himself and Thor (despite being a stressed-out single dad rather than a god-king with tremendous resources at his disposal), he had to have seen that this was at the core of who Mobius was. Moreover, Loki — and any viewers who had similarly survived a traumatic childhood full of emotional abuse and neglect — probably guessed that Don himself was a survivor who was determined to see to it that his boys would never have to deal with that. If that was the case, then Mobius didn't just see his own son in Loki. He saw himself and couldn't help but empathize.

Don wasn't perfect. His frustration with his younger son was very evident, but Loki, observing, could see the love that lay under it. He may even have thought of times when Odin was driven to anger by Loki's actions and realized that the anger didn't necessarily mean that Odin didn't really love him. Learning to forgive what can be forgiven is another aspect of recovering from childhood trauma.

It's worth remembering that Mobius knew Loki in much the same way we do. We got to see the things that Loki never let anybody see: the fear, the vulnerability, the pain, the longing, and the sadness. (Doesn't hurt that TH can turn a simple reaction shot into a freakin' soliloquy!) The difference is that, while we only get to see the highlights (and lowlights) of Loki's life, Mobius had access to all of it and he had centuries to study it.

Mobius literally knew Loki better than anyone else in (or out) of the multiverse. How could he not love him? And for Loki, knowing that somebody who knew him that well genuinely cared so much for him (same with Sylvie, who understood him in ways that only another Loki could and vice-versa) had to have shaken him to his core and made him rethink a lot of things. The fact that it was Mobius to whom Loki turned in episode 2.6 when he thought he might have to kill Sylvie shows how much he still looked up to Mobius in many ways.

This was a show about redemption, yes, but also about healing from childhood trauma. They did an amazing job with it.

#loki #loki laufeyson #loki series #loki mcu #reparenting #lokius #mobius #childhood trauma

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stevieharringtonwifeguy · 1 year

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Transfem Stevie who figures it out when she goes to a gay bar with Robin (post s3?) and meets another transwoman and has a Huh, you can do that? moment.

i sort of Went Off on this one lmaoo. bc im incapable of not steddifying everything this is now T4T Steddie 2: This Time They're Lesbians- with trans girl eddie cracking stevie's egg

PLEASE NOTE: this is set in the 80s, so they use kind of outdated terminology for trans people. also there's a d slur used in a positive, self-ID way. overall the vibes are good but the language is questionable. do with that what you will lol

When Robin asks Steve to be her ‘emotional support heterosexual’ (her words) for her first visit to an Indianapolis gay club, Steve prepares himself for a night of ‘hey, have you met my friend Robin’, pointedly not hitting on any girls, and politely declining offers of drinks and dances from guys until he’s buzzed enough to admit he’s curious. And so far, that’s exactly what he’s been doing. Robin’s off dancing with a girl after Steve assured her about ten times that he’d be fine on his own. He’s just debating whether or not his inhibitions are lowered enough to go dancing when his thoughts are interrupted by a voice to his right.

“Steeeeeeeve Harrington.”

Steve turns, already cringing. Anyone who says his name with a tone like that is someone who is not going to be thrilled with seeing him in a gay club. The thing is, Steve has no idea who this person is. Can’t even really tell if they’re a guy or a girl. Their features are fairly masculine, all lean muscles and square chin, but they’ve got long, wild hair and heavy eye makeup. The cropped muscle tank with ‘Massive Dyke’ printed in lurid red muddies the waters even further.

“Oh, hey… uh…” Yeah, Steve’s pulling a complete blank. They look kind of familiar? He’s definitely seen them around. Somewhere.

They roll their eyes. “Not surprised King Steve doesn’t recognise me. Especially looking like this. What are you doing here?”

Steve sighs a little. “I’m here with a friend. She was nervous to come alone so I’m here for moral support and wingmanning.”

“Yeah, sure,” they scoff, and Steve frowns even more.

“Look, I know I was a dick in high school. And I’m genuinely sorry if I was a dick to you. But that was four years ago. I’ve grown up, and I’m here to be a good friend. Can you let me do that?”

The person blinks, and then looks a little sheepish. “Okay, yeah, that’s fair,” they say, before extending a hand. “And it’s Eddie. Eddie Munson.”

Steve smiles and shakes the offered hand. “Oh, yeah! You ran that club my kids went to- dungeons and dragons, right? Cool to see you again, dude!”

Eddie’s face does a complicated little wiggle before- “Uh, not a dude, man.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m a girl, now. Still Eddie, though, it’s just short for Edith now. Have you heard of transsexuals?”

Steve shakes his head. “I’m pretty new to this. I know, like. Five words.”

“Well, easiest way to put it is that I was born a guy, but I feel more like a girl, so now I’m, like, switching.”

“Switching…” Steve says, trying his best to look genuinely interested and confused. He generally doesn’t struggle too hard to look confused, but he’s a little worried Eddie will think he’s being a dick about it. “You can do that?”

Eddie snorts, gesturing down to herself. “Clearly.”

“Huh,” Steve says. Frankly, this is blowing his mind. “Why doesn’t everyone do that, then? Like, no one likes being a guy.”

“Ye- wait, what?”

“Like, the sexism of being a girl would suck, obviously. But everything else sounds great! Like, you get prettier clothes and you can wear makeup- and girls are so nice to other girls, I've always been kind of jealous of that.”

Eddie looks shocked, but Steve's on a roll now, almost forgetting she's there as he continues thinking aloud. “And like. Girls’ bodies are just. Better, y'know? Like what do guys have, muscles? Girls can have muscles too, but girls are just so… like, everyone wants boobs, right?”

Eddie has a strange look on her face. “I mean, I do. Because I’m transsexual.”

“When you’re transsexual, do you get boobs? Like, do you- wait, is that rude? I feel like I wouldn’t ask another girl about her boobs.”

Eddie’s silent for a moment, looking at Steve in bewilderment, before she seems to collect herself. She takes a swig of her beer and then smiles at him. It looks both welcoming and like she’s in on a secret, and puts Steve at ease. He can see why the kids were so obsessed with her in high school.

“You know what, ordinarily it would be kind of rude, but I have a feeling this conversation is… not what I thought it was gonna be,” she says, and Steve tilts his head a bit in confusion. “So yeah, I do have boobs. You can take estrogen as a little pill, and it basically does puberty for you again. You get boobs, a little extra fat on your hips and thighs, and your skin gets softer. Here, feel.”

And then Eddie takes Steve’s hand and slides it up her shirt. His brain immediately turns off. And yeah, there’s definitely a gentle swell there. They’re small, but Steve can feel the squish of them. Her nipples are pierced. Steve thinks he might die.

“Wow,” he squeaks, about five embarrassing octaves higher than his normal tone. “Cool!”

Eddie grins as she removes his hand from her tit. “Yeah, cool. I’d let you fondle them a little more, sweetheart, but they’re still growing. Kind of sore.”

Steve blushes, rubbing his hand on his thigh and desperately trying to will his boner down. “Man, I wish I could grow boobs,” he sighs, a little wistfully.

“You can, y’know,” Eddie says, with a little chuckle and a soft smile. “What’s stopping you?”

That. Steve hasn’t considered that. A hundred things come to his lips- he’s not like that, he’s not one of those- a hundred things that he knows are absolutely terrible reasons. If Robin were here she’d either be whacking him upside the head or giving him that really sad look she does whenever he’s mean to himself.

“Hey,” Eddie says, speaking softly and laying a gentle hand on Steve’s knee. It shocks him out of his spiral as he looks up into her big brown eyes. “Y’know, I’ve got some makeup in my van. If you wanted to try some things out. No one here will judge you.”

“I- yeah,” Steve is breathless. “I’d like that. Uh- my friend-”

“Oh, is she real? I’ll be honest, I kinda thought you were doing the ‘oh I’m not gay I’m just here for a friend’ thing.”

Laughing, Steve looks out over the crowd. “No, she’s real. Let me just let her know I’ll be gone for a moment- honestly she’s probably halfway to third base with some girl anyway-”

And sure enough, Robin is more than ready to let Steve wander off once he peels her off a pretty girl on the opposite side of the club. He rejoins Eddie, who leads him down the street towards her van and helps him into the back. She takes out her makeup bag, cracking jokes about their wildly different styles while she delicately brushes powder over his face. She generously refrains from threatening to take his eye out with the eyeliner pencil (more than once at least), and apologises for not having anything more ‘babygirl’ than her bright red lipstick. Steve can definitely say this is the most fun he’s ever had in the back of a van.

Finally, masterpiece done, Eddie rummages in her bag for a little compact, presenting it to Steve with a dumb little bow. Steve takes it with a roll of his eyes, and prepares himself with a deep breath.

The person in the mirror is beautiful. Glowing skin, huge doe eyes lined with smokey eyeliner and lashes a mile long, practically sinful lips. Steve almost doesn’t recognise himself, except that he does. He really, really does, in a way he now realises he never really has before. It’s the first time he’s ever looked at his face in the mirror and not wanted to change anything.

“You’re a really pretty girl, Stevie,” Eddie says with a gentle smile.

Steve can’t look away from the mirror. “Yeah,” she says, a red-lipped grin stretching across her face. “I really am.”

#steddie #t4t steddie #transfem steve harrington #transfem eddie munson #stranger things #my fics

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morskisir · 5 months

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Answer to this ask I had to post seperately because I reached the character limit or something.

OHHHH Anon you are not ready. I think about this bastard so much and too deeply.

Before I get into it:

I love how you worded this question- gives a nice atmosphere.

Just to be clear this is all about RED Sniper. I apologise to any BLU Sniper enjoyers for I don't have thoughts about that guy.

I'm not the biggest fan of the comics for many reasons so don't mind me retconning a lot of that.

In the end these are all MY opinions and views of him- if you don't like them that's no problem. It's free real estate.

And FINALLY; my thoughts, under read more:

OKAY, let's start with what even got me to interpret him the way that I do; hell yeah baby, it's Meet the Sniper time.

I've seen MANY people often assume that Sniper is one of the most normal/chill people of the 2fort nine- but the impression I got is that he wants you to think he's normal so desperately despite everything else pointing to how fucking weird he actually is. Simply noticing the stuff he's saying makes it a lot more clear. The very beginning where he goes "Boom, headshot," making light of taking another person's life so swiftly. "Cause at the end of the day; as long as there's two people left on the planet- someone is gonna want someone dead," really positive light you see the world in, Sniper.

Of course you can take this as him being "realistic", and I do agree he's more of a realist than a pessimist or optimist, but "...have a plan to kill everyone you meet," is SO fucked up. Why is his first thought when meeting someone to know how to kill them? This to me is him not being able to properly connect to other people/understand them or actually SEE them as people. Not to mention his smile after delivering that shot in the timelapse of him sniping (AND after stabbing Spy). This cunt enjoys killing. He's not the type to slowly kill someone or torture them- but he is the type to feel satisfaction after planting a bullet in someone; give himself a pat on the back for it- or perhaps find humour in the kill.

The conclusion this brought me to is that he is an unreliable narrator in "Meet the Sniper". (Also the "..be polite," line. Yeah, sure, dude. Your voice lines are very polite.)

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS FUCKING TEETH? The way his teeth look and how much they're shown to the viewer by exaggerating his mouth movements feels like a "this guy is NOT normal" sign. No one in the game has teeth similar to him and his canines are HUGE. Like holy shit, he's an apex predator.

A comment @cheebuss (I know you wanna get tagged) saw once has been a running joke between us- it was basically "He indicates so he's normal," which is fucking hilarious, but I can genuinely refute that point. First of all we see him fucking speeding in the beginning of the video- to be fair we don't know what the speed limit on this road is, BUT:

Cunt drives around with a broken side mirror. That's really unsafe, obviously. A good chunk of that mirror has gone to shit and he does not care to replace it (which feeds into my headcanon of him being stingy/not wanting to spend money because he lived on a farm and they did everything themselves). Speaking of his van; it gave me the impression he likes having everything he needs near him- he doesn't need a grand, expensive space to feel comfortable. (I headcanon that he's actually scared/unnerved by vast, empty spaces/buildings) ALSO I think he's messy and prefers the claustrophobia of his van. I like to believe his childhood room was much the same (to the detriment of his mother)- that's his safe space damn it!!!

And here I can transition into talking about his parents!!! : D Of course, not much was shown to us of Mr. & Mrs. Mundy, but we can still glean some stuff from the video- and partially- the comics.

His father very obviously disapproves of his job, calling him "a crazed gunman", and showing his morals do not align with Sniper's. Sniper calls for his mum during the phone call shown at the very end of the video- looking annoyed and somewhat distressed. It's clear to me that they've had this argument many times and Mrs. Mundy is the mediator in them. I think she disapproves of the job as much as her husband does, but is sick of hearing them argue to that extent. Regardless of this conflict, Sniper loves and cares for his parents- they are his world. He doesn't care for anyone else, most of the shit he does is for their sake and continuing to provide support so they can live a stable life at their farm as they get older. It's one of the nicest things about Sniper.

Although, I do think he struggled to get them to understand him properly. He is a quiet man who doesn't express a lot of his emotions. That will complicate things, especially if he doesn't talk about it- and he doesn't!!! : D

Despite this, I think they were the people he was closest to. Sniper, to me, is a guy who's never had friends and has been lonely as well as isolated his entire life. "Too weird to live, much too rare to die." And this is a VERY long time we're talking about; DECADES. Decades of minimum to no human connection. (Just to note; he is almost 50 to me. The comic writers fucked the timeline up and made him a 20 something year old. The Sin. Do not speak of it to me. It makes him less interesting/compelling I'm not kidding.) He is anxious in social settings, barely speaks up, and prefers to simply back away when he doesn't know how to deal with something. (SUPER DUPER AUTISM + SOCIAL ANXIETY!!!) Does he try to interact with his co-workers? Veeeeery little. He yearns for connection he convinces himself he doesn't need. He trusts no one. He's a mystery to them.

But hey!!! Less distractions from his job!!! (Bad transition) This man is genuinely incredible at what he does- I keep replaying the part where he reloads his rifle. He was not kidding about being efficient (he also kills the entire BLU team in that video??). The lad's got incredible patience, aim, control, and overall understanding of what he's doing. There's something fucked up about him observing the people he's targetting like prey, but let's leave that for when I mention his previous job as a tracker (if I do). I imagine the only thing he excelled at in school (he did go there!! He can write!!!) is maths, as that is very much needed when you're a sniper.

BTW I think he barely passed school; he hated being there, had no interest in school work and his teachers kept pestering him about his social life. Leave him alone, he doesn't need that (he does).

Most of his focus went to his parents' farm where I think he mostly took care of the animals....or went out to hunt them; which is how he learned to shoot out of a rifle in the first place. (His dad taught him.) He's not exactly an animal guy but he's also not not an animal guy.

It's complicated.

ANYWAYS, I've talked enough about one single video. Let's mention his in game voice lines a bit!

There's a LOT of material there but here's the stuff I want to mention:

He talks to himself a lot. He isn't out there with the others- his job is to be perched up somewhere high and shoot from a distance so he doesn't get spotted. He makes so many jokes that only HE's going to find funny, except "You've got a forehead on ya like a coffee table," which is genuinely the funniest thing he's ever said. Boy voices his thoughts and tries to entertain himself when he's alone- I don't judge him for that. He has to sit there for hours in complete focus (he helps himself via a lot of coffee). I DO judge the things he says, however.

He's violent. (WHAT!?) There's plenty of examples but I would like to mention one adressed to his teammates. One of the "Jeers" commands is "Should've saved a bullet for some of you blokes!" which, hey, what the fuck? That's scary. He got so frustrated he threatened his own team with murder. (It's kinda funny) To me this shows he's bad at controlling his outbursts or that he never learned how to deal with them. (Autism moment!!!)

He literally growls.

There's this line addressed to Spy: "What goes around comes around, you snotty little nance." If you're not aware- "nance" is derogatory Australian slang for a prissy, effeminate gay man. I headcanon Sniper as a homosexual man so it tickles me that he's so insecure about this fact. It's sad, absolutely, but I find humour in this horrible man being a homophobic homosexual. Project your insecurities onto a guy who can read people extremely well, why don't you. He won't do anything about it, I promise :) (Lie)

I was doing my best to not mention SniperSpy but CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS LINES AIMED AT SPY AND HOW THEY'RE DIRECT RESPONSES TO THINGS SPY SAYS? (plus the highest number of revenge lines he has directed at someone is Spy)

-> = response to:

"Aww, did I get blood on your suit!?" -> "You got blood on my suit."

"I was never on your side either! Wanker!" -> "I never really was on your side."

"Ah, my God, you've been shot. Did you get a look at the handsome rogue who did it?" -> "I'll see you in hell, you handsome rogue."

BY THE WAY, THAT LAST LINE? SPY ONLY SAYS THAT TO HIS COUNTERPART. WHAT, WERE YOU LOOKING AT HIM? WERE YOU WATCHING HIM ALL DAY? WHY DO YOU REMEMBER SO MANY THINGS HE'S SAID? WHY ARE YOU SO FOCUSED ON HIM? ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH HIM? ARE YOU OBSESSED? WHY ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH A LITTLE NANCY BOY? HM?

There is so much more I could mention. I think whatever thing he has going on with Spy is super important to him, but I will hold back for your sake as I can talk about this for hours. You have no clue how many parallels there are, etc.

Anyways, he's in Expiration Date! A little bit! He doesn't say anything. <3 I'm proud of him!!! <3

He literally just stands around ominously in the shadows (and finds RED Spy being made fun of very amusing).

"Hehe."

(I just noticed he took his watch off and put it on his vest. This is an autism moment because I, too, hate having something on me that I don't usually have so I need to balance it out by removing something else; if I have it on me. Either way it's sensory suffering.) (Him being super attached to his hat and glasses is also an autism moment. He is no one without them.)

And then he has that one part in The Bread Fight(tm) where he gets confused by Pauling and Scout pushing the bomb.

"Tails gets trolled" looking ass.

I like watching him fall over.

After he falls here, he takes his kukri out which was... attached? situated? It was behind the strap of his arrow carrier. I think that's cool. I also think he wouldn't be doing that during matches because Spy is very much capable of stealing it/putting it away without Sniper noticing, even if it was literally on his back.

Also, I am a firm believer in "Sniper can only do one thing extremely well and has little to no interest in creative stuff," so I disagree with the idea of him being able to play a saxophone. You could say he was made to do that in school, but this guy is a smoker. I do not believe he can do that. You cannot convince me.

I think that's enough! This doesn't even go past the hypothetical tip of the iceberg, but it's a lot of words. This is the very basic stuff you have to know about how I see this cunt.

Thank you for letting me share some of my insanity.

#ask #morskiwords #tf2 #sniper #sniperspy mention i gues #thank you so much for this ask i love talking about this fucked up thing i care about too much #i wanted to include the 'feelings?' line but id have to tackle too many things i hadnt even mentioned here #overall im really surprised at how little of my thoughts are in here. i guess you dont realise the extent you think about a character until #-you write it down #uh. yeah. im normal

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sussysluttyscorpio · 1 year

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Scorpio Placement Observations

(This picture doesn't belong to me in any way) (I just typed whatever I've observed in people around me, so please take only what resonates) (Also, these may apply to 8th house placements too. Tell me if it does)

SCORPIO MOON:

~Every time you're happy, you just can't help but think, "How long until it all crashes down?" It's like you invent your own problems, when there aren't any, and suffer in it until you think hard about what you're crying about and its bleh-bloh-bluh. Nothing.

~"Fuck, I don't even know whatever the hell I am crying about. It's just I want to cry. I feel so down". Then, you get sad about being sad all the damn time and ugh, it's the feedback loop from hell. (Subtle art of not giving a fuck- Mark Manson)

~Having this placement is like your own mind being your worst enemy. You, often, might find it hard to control the negative self talk inside your head. You might even picture, like the three people who shouldn't even matter saying harsh shit to you. Those are not real people, mate. That is your own mind.

~Even if everything in your life is going just fine, it'll keep reminding you how your past sadness felt like. It'll make you cry even if your life is perfect. (If you can call it that) It'll make you addicted to that dropping of your heart, chaos in your head, swirling tsunami of emotions inside you.

~I don't know why but this, of all planets, is the worst debilitated placement. Like your mind is what stays with you all the damn time. This doesn't make your mind weak, it just pushes it to overthink about even the tiniest of shits.

~I don't know if I am exaggerating at this point, but you might find it hard to shut your thoughts. The more you try to keep everything in your head silent, the more the voices scream.

"Are your okay? Are your fine?" "NO I AM NOT, PLEASE STOP ASKING ME THAT" and still the voices in your head will keep repeating the above question.

~But, I've seen, most people who have this placement can read into what's going on in someone's head. They'll notice the tiniest of the smirks, the discreet glint in someone's eyes, the vibe of the whole damn room, that snarky tone of the nicest girl in class, everything. Even if you're a bad judge of people with this placement, you'll notice the red flags even before they show. The reason you fell for their facade is all because you ignored your gut and intuition. "Everything was pointing out how (someone) didn't have their best interest for me but god, I am such an idiot for not paying attention to it."

~To all Scorpio Moons out there, I am proud of you for making it everyday. This isn't an easy placement to have. Oh no wait, that's a rather humble way to put it. This is a challenging, hard, tough, formidable, rough, and what not placement to live with. You're doing great, bud.🤍

~And people who do astrology, 70% of them are Scorpio Moons. I've seen this here on Tumblr, on Discord. It's crazy. Stereotype of Scorpionic Moon being heavily into occult sciences.

~Aaaand. You're all very secretive. You'll come out of the bathroom crying and nobody would know you cried. It's like only you know what you feel. You know the tsunami inside and everybody else is unaware of that fact.

SCORPIO MERCURY:

~I don't know why but this happens a lot with Mercury in Scorpio that they might be joking and everything and there are people laughing. Then suddenly, they say something, not even offensive, and someone takes such an offence over what they say, they'll spoil the Scorpio Mercury's whole vibe and mood.

~Like, they were just joking one second earlier and suddenly they're literally appalled and trying to contemplate how people can twist their words into something so ugly, which they didn't even meant or thought was possible to be thought of, AT ALL.

~After that, they'll just stop speaking much with anyone and shut up. I mean, they don't open up much. They don't. Even if they do, it's a faux persona. That's not the real them. The real them is the one who tried opening up until shit happened (scenario above) and won't open up to you EVER AGAIN.

That plutonian death and rebirth. Speaking your heart, getting hurt by people's reaction, ghosting everyone.

~Oh and this placement doesn't make you a loner. At all. Scorpio Mercury people have, generally, delivered me the juiciest gossip around, Or they don't know anybody's name except their one friend.

One, extremely social Leo Rising with Scorpio Mercury friend of mine knows every shit going around the school. Who fucked who, where, when and how long. He knows everything. He's the go-to person for supplying gossip (and vape?)

And then my extremely introverted Taurus Rising with Scorpio Mercury bestie, doesn't know anybody's name except me, her boyfriend, and our 2 other friends. I'll tell her how this girl screwed around her bestie's boyfriend and 10 minutes later, I'll show her, "Look, that's the bitch" and she'll be like "What bitch? Who are we talking about?" ... I didn't go to school for a month and asked her for gossip and the only thing she came to know was what I already knew 2 months earlier and I DID TELL HER THEN, but she forgot. Pfft.

~Ah shit, I forgot. You are splendid writers. The way you write those raw emotions, fuck, I'm scarred already. It's like beautiful and heart breaking at the same time.

~And you all cuss a lot. It's fun though, ain't it?

~Also, you're just as secretive, aren't you? Your emotions are just for you and your writings to feel.

SCORPIO VENUS

~I mean. Step on me already, please. How are you so hot? Even if you are super possessive of your lover and possibly want to kill the guy they were laughing with 5 minutes ago, I love you, Scorpio Venus.

~I haven't met many Scorpio Venus people honestly. I wish I had. But so many celebrities have this in their sidereal charts and man, they're goddamm gorgeous. Katy Perry, Billie Eilish, Kendall Jenner, Sarah Hyland, Alexa Demie, Nina Dobrev, Rita Ora, and so many more. Look at them closely, they aren't just gorgeous or beautiful, they have an intense look on them. Masters of Siren eyes. Their faces have a kinda shadowy look, you know. Oh and this is in Sidereal, not tropical. (Legit had to calculate everyone's chart one by one 'cause google got no shit)

~No hate to Tropical, you all. It's just I prefer Sidereal for certain reasons. More so now that I know that Leonardo Dicaprio is a Scorpio Venus in Tropical and no way is that happening. (He's got a fkn Libra Stellium of Sun, Venus, Mars, Mercury and maybe even Moon in Sidereal and I'm drooling)

~So, back to Scorpio Venus. I haven't really noticed Scorpio Venus having commitment issues generally? I mean if you have, that's absolutely fine. It's just what I've noticed in my conversations with a few Scorpio Venuses.

~They define passion. Maybe I'm stereotyping, but come on, Scorpio is ruled by Mars (Or Pluto) There's got to be some passion. Or a lot of passion rather. Mhmm. Don't give me those bedroom eyes, I'll submit to you, Master.

~Jokes aside. I gotta ask you this. Scorpio Venus, are you of the opinion that sex is not just for pleasure, but a divine linkage of two souls? A connection, a bond, a higher form of spiritual act in itself? Sex might not be everything, but it is very important to you if things are to work for you and your partner?

~You're not into casual relationships, fuck and fly BS, least likely to have a threesome. I've seen this with Capricorn Venuses too. They don't like sharing their loved ones at all. (Sextiles, y'know) Super Loyal Lovers- Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn. (Always)

~Oh and, wear more black. It's your color after all. Black, Purple, these shades bring out your eyes more, or your features are highlighted. And you can totally be seductive without meaning to. You don't even try, it just, its a part of you. (Envious totally)

~And please, you're definitely not extreme, or too much. Maybe for Sagittarius or Libra Venus, idk, you could be, or maybe not, since these signs take it slow and are open to experimenting more, you're absolutely perfect in the way you love. Just, take it easy sometimes too. Intensity all time isn't fun, don't you think?

~OH. Steer clear of obsessive people. Scorpio Venuses attract a crazy lot of lovers often, which are an handful ofc. And also, be conscious of jealous friends. Man, one of my friends has this and her bestie was so insecure and jealous, she went on to screw the Scorpio Venus's ex bf just to prove that she's just as pretty as her. Ugh. Petty.

~Also, please don't give so much of yourself to anyone that there's nothing left for you. You love too much and not everyone deserves it. Hook up culture ain't for you, just don't put your heart in a place where it's left to dust and forgotten.

~You're secretive too, right? Nobody would know you're in love and inside you could be doing backflips and somersaults, totally lovesick.

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itstheghostofmypast · 2 years

Text

Music To My Ears

Five x Talkative Wife

Note: Okay, so I've had this idea for a long time, basically a HC of what it would be like if Five (when he comes back to 2019) brings along his wife who is also his partner from the commission- who is super talkative, especially when she's nervous.

Five x FemReader

Gif Credit to rightful owner

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

The first time he had seen Y/N, he simply wanted to kill her. Not only did she give away his hiding spot from the enemy but she would not STOP TALKING.

"Hi! I'm Y/N, I don't really have a last name, but it's an honour to meet you Mr.Five Sir. You're a lege-"

"Shhh!"

"It's alright they won't hear us!"

"Woman, please I don't need a partner, especially not one as annoying as Klaus!"

"Whose Klaus?"

"Tch no one-"

"HEY THEY'RE OVER THERE"

"SHIT"

And on that same mission Five got shot in the leg, which she kept apologising for over and over again, until he had to verbally say 'IT'S FINE PLEASE, JUST STOP TALKING I NEED TO THINK!'

Slowly, verrry slowly, she began to grow on him, killing wasn't his most favourite part of the job, and everytime she began talking nonsense he could tell she wasn't a fan of it either.

It didn't take him long to figure out that she would ramble on for hours a day when she was scared, nervous or just tired, especially on gruesome missions.

Yes, she would not stop talking even when she was drained. At one point he wondered if Delores thought he spoke a lot too. Until she ended up changing the topic of conversation around 5 times in 1 hour- no, this lady was a crackhead.

It was almost a year in their partnership and the Handler was pleased with their work. For Five was already a legend, he learnt that other than the useless chatter, the girl was a great assassin- quick, slick and brutal.

On one occasion, when Five was cornered and exhausted, he thought he was toast, almost ready to give up. He heard, "NOONE CORNERS MY PARTNER!" And gun shots.

They were all shot in the head

"Execution style?"

"Actually, I was super mad at you when you told me to stay at the motel because I'm very annoying and noisy. Like I get I can't be Delores but please I am my own person! I don't need to be someone else for you to accept me and hey! I am a great assassin by the way! Sure I talk a lot but before your rude a** came along I was running the show punk and-"

"Thank you Y/N, you saved my life today."

And that leaves her speechless, a whole year of knowing him, he had never thanked her, let alone ever spoken to her softly.

He smiles at her and hobbled to the car muttering a , 'You don't have to be Delores, you're better of as you.'

And that was the first mistake the boy made, because after that he began to notice more things about her that he liked.

The way she would ever so politely talk to people. How she was able to get intel by being nice- instead of using the interrogation methods he used.

More than often things would flow smoothly if she would do the talking.

3 years in and he wakes up one night, to get water and realises that she's not on the other bed. So he checks the washroom and she isn't their too.

Grabbing a bathrobe he goes out to the motel parking and finds her sitting on a bench, the cold night breeze tossing her hair around as she grips onto her cup- tea he presumes.

So, like any sane person he decides to give her some privacy, until he hears her sniff.

He goes and sits beside her and is just:

'Wanna talk?"

"No"

"NO?!?!?"

And she shakes her head, so he doesn't encourage her to speak, instead sits their quietly beside her, letting her cry silently.

An hour later he realises her head is on his shoulder and she mutters,

"When you go back, will you leave me?"

"I don't know..."

"Can I come with you?"

"You? But, I'm no fun nor a party goer, darlin' . I'll probably end up being an a** to you-"

"Would an a** have sat with me in the middle of a chilly night outside, letting me cry?"

And for once in his life Five had no answer. The resident genius had no clue to why her words had brought a sensation of tightness around his chest, why he felt her words cut through him. Was he actually going to leave her? If there was anyone (after Delores) who understood him, or rather had the balls to stand up to him, it was her. Yet, he had never realised how vulnerable she was on the inside.

That night ignites a fire within him, because 2 months later, on a mission in Hawaii, where the two are standing in a field of dead bodies he turns to her. All bloody and messy,

"Hey!"

"yes?"

"NOW GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER, YOU GOT IT?"

Utterly confused, she nods at the weirdo who looked like he was about to explode.

"MARRY ME?"

"Sure."

"I SAID A STRAIGHT ANSWER NOT A LONG EXPLANATION YOU - wait what?"

"I said, yes, Five Hargreeves, I'd like to spend whatever days I have left with an a** like you."

Cue the most abrupt and small wedding and exchanging of vows. Not that it mattered to either of them, because as soon as their 'secret wedding' was over, they were sent on another mission.

Naturally, she was rambling along the entire way,

"I really thought we could have cake though, but I guess we did have to keep it low key, oh speaking of low-key, I booked us a fancy couple's room I had been saving money for

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

"What's with the face"

"You know~"

"Okay, I officially married Klaus."

"but, but, but you love me either way~"

"Seems to be so, now please stay quiet, we're entering their base and the last thing I want is to lose my wife on the second day of my marriage."

"WAIT WHAT"

"SHHH!"

Give or take many years later, the couple in their fifties is staring at the blue portal. Holding hands, both nervous, one quiet while the other...

"THIS BETTER WORK FIVE, I BETTER NOT END UP BEING TELEPORTED TO THE 1500's I AM TELLING YOU! WAIT! I DONT EVEN KNOW THE NAMES OF YOUR SIBLINGS, OTHER THAN VANYA AND KLAUS -"

"SILENCE WOMAN, ON THE COUNT OF THREE WE JUMP. 1 ...2-"

"3 I WIN"

And she pulls him into the portal as he yells at her.

The two end up on the ground with a loud thud.

Getting up he pulls her up and is just staring at her, up and down.

"Really Five, not a good time to be checking me out- wait why are you a child"

"shit."

"does anyone see a little number Five with ...a random girl?"

Without responding he drags her into the kitchen, the siblings following in right after. Watching him make her sit on a chair at the end of the table while he is preparing something.

Slowly they start interrogating him.

"It's been 22 years Number Five, where have you been?'

"It's been a lot longer than that."

"What happened to you?"

He places a sandwich infront of her and starts to devour his own.

"What do you think happened? I decided to test the limits of my time jumping, see how far I could go. Turns out, pretty far."

"Then how did you get back?"

By now, Y/N is visibly shaking in her chair, too nervous to even eat, staring up at Five who seems to be having a a not to pleasant conversation with his siblings.

Before responding to Allison he turns to look at her,his features softening, something ALL the siblings notice, "It's okay..." He whispers to her, "Eat."

"By projecting our consciousness backwards into a suspended quantum state version of us that exists in every possible instance of time."

"That makes no sense."

"It would if you were smarter."

"Granted, it did take me a little time to work out all the nuts and bolts of it."

Five notices that she's still not eating and he frowns only to glare at his siblings, "Stop staring at her you're freaking her out."

"US? YOU BROUGHT A RANDOM KID HERE FIVE"

"Random kid?" She slams down her sandwich. As Five smirks, 'well, at least she's better now'.

"I AM NO RANDOM KID, IM HIS WIFE. And by the way HE ISNT CRAZY- other than THIS MAN IN A NICE SKIRT I DONT SEE ANYONE WHO ONCE ASKED HIM HOW HE WAS? OR IF HE WAS OKAY? OR IF HE WAS ALONE!"

"Oh? danke- WAIT WIFE? Five DID U KIDNAP HER @?!"

"No, we're in our fifties."

"WHAT"

"Yes, now well that's established, Five we should really hurry up. Also, why don't any of you look similar? Didn't your dad die today? Wait, are you all here for a funeral - you guys have been fighting ever since you showed up huh? Not a lot of love I see, no wonder my husband's a little crackhead too. By the way, why are you so big? Oh- *turns to Vanya* you're the lady from the book, nice book by the way, family tea is the best, not that I'd know, I have no recollection of mine-" with that she got up and randomly walked out of the kitchen, a nervous wreck, something only Five could see.

"Five is she insane?"

"Ofcourse not you big ape."

They could still hear her go on about something from the other side of the house to which Diego frowned, "She talks a lot."

Five just grabbed his sandwich, walking out of the room, with a

"It's music to my ears."

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Note: OKAY SO THIS IS KINDA SHITTY? I don't know I just had to get it out of my system!, I hope y'all like it😭🥺❤️

TUA Taglist: @imaginesfire , @placidpluto , @achingwoundforaheart , @esmaada , @samyourneighbor , @xuenihao , @whoreofscience , @navs-bhat , @yuuki4646 , @simpformoonkight , @crowleysqueenofhell ,@anapotatowriter thank you, you lovely people for choosing to be part of my taglist ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚)

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bubblegyu00 · 1 month

Text

zb1 as boyfriends 💋

a/n: thought i'd do one for jebe too 😋 YURA YURA BABY BABY also this is very rushed....

not proofread !

———————・✦

• jiwoong

boyfriend jiwoong is so " yes love? honey. sweetheart. princess " he's so perfect wtf

this man would be randomly talking and say " i would die for you " and mean that shit from the bottom of his heart

i feel like he's very manly and mature but he can not drink an ounce of alcohol or he's wasted. but when he's drunk he's genuinely the cutest thing ever. will cling onto you and giggle like a little kid but you can't even be mad at him because you love him sm

SUCH a gentleman. i don't even need to elaborate on this.

he's so husband material like i would drop my whole life for him to put a ring on my finger

loves loves loves to spoil you on holidays

" i bought you a present! "

" it's the 4th of july jiwoong... and you're korean. "

———————・✦

• hanbin

please do not even get me started with this man.

boyfriend!hanbin will literally revolve his whole world around you. if you think he adores that hamster plushie... take that times 1000 and that's his adoration for you

if he could take you on his tours he would. it literally tears him apart that he can't see you for that long of a period of time.

whenever he can't see you starts to literally hear your voice. he'll call you to get a flight to wherever he's at because he thinks he's delusional and needs to see you before he goes insane

will be your number one supporter at award shows, but when the camera pans to him he acts like he wasn't just screaming your fanchant

will do all of your chores for you even if you don't ask him to

" what're you doing? "

" sweeping "

" hanbin did you not just see me sweep the whole house? "

" well yeah but like- "

———————・✦

• zhanghao

boyfriend!zhanghao is so RGRBRBRHRHRGRGRH

if anyone of your fans goes to a " your biggest fan " contest, they're all losing because zhanghao is winning immediately

honestly was your biggest fan before you two started dating. he made the biggest foul out of himself when he saw you

like the guy started stuttering, turning red, and sweating profusely. you thought it was cute so you just started teasing him more

he's still a little intimidated by you, but he doesn't stutter, turn red, or sweat profusely. ( unless you start making out, cus then he basically has a stroke )

zhanghao is definitely the second best kisser. idk why it's just something about him.... like his lips also just look so soft ( does it show that i dream about him all the time? )

the amount of stuff he knew about you before you started dating is basically stalker level but it's okay cus you're obsessed too.

you two are the most judgmental people i've ever seen oml. like someone will pass by and you'll look at eachother and give them the most vile look ever made. like if i slipped up in front of you two id probably cry

" ew wtf look it's her "

" omg wasn't she the friend that dumped that one guy for no reason "

" yup "

" gross "

———————・✦

• matthew

boyfriend!matthew is so cute he makes me want to do a backflip into a pool of lava ( nichole wtf )

but anyways he's actually so perfect and sweet and perfect and also sweet with some perfect mixed in

wants to be in your arms 24/7, it literally kills him when he has to leave every morning for work. like he genuinely starts tweaking out

every time he goes to canada to visit his family, he takes you too because his mom and sister ADORE you sm. like whenever you're over his mom cooks a whole feast and will talk your ear off, but it's okay cus you love her

will be texting you with the stupidest smile on his face, it makes the members wanna gag. but he dosent notice cus he's to busy typing words to describe how much he misses you

the boys WILL NOT under any circumstances get too close to you or matthew will talk their ears off

" did you just touch her? "

" i passed her the remote?! "

" you know what gunwook i'm so sick and tired of- "

and then he rants for two hours.

———————・✦

• taerae

boyfriend!taerae is soooo bestie boo, like he is literally your hype man

i also think that taerae is basically a mindreader... like you could be craving something and two seconds later there's taerae at the door with whatever it is you wanted. or if you wanted to call him, he'd call you right before you even turn on your phone to call him

quite literally spams your company's emails to let you do a dance challenge tiktok together. and when i say spam, i mean this man genuinely sent them 5000 slideshows as to why you should do the challenge together

absolutely can not go two sentences without bringing you up. the members could literally be talking about plants and he would make it have to do something with you

sometimes he'll wake up and wonder how in the world he pulled you. like he genuinely thinks he is the chosen one because he thinks your so 😍

he loves when you compliment his singing sm. he literally wants to cry every time you tell him how beautiful his voice is, because he only needs your validation, not anyone else's

he's so obsessed with your scent. like he buys your perfume in bulk, and sprays it on his sheets and pillows

" just bought a hundred bottles of your perfume. "

" yeah and now they're all sold out rae "

" that sucks cus im not sharing. "

———————・✦

• ricky

boyfriend!ricky is claimed by me. no like i genuinely have him moved into my house and everything

he's the #1 kisser. like his make out game is STRONG omfg. he's literally just a natural wtf. like he doesn't even have a lot of experience, he's just so good at kissing it's wild

this man would probably try to buy you the world if you said you wanted it. but the thing about quanrui is that you could ask him for boba or something, and he'd buy you the whole franchise

whenever you're apart, he'll call you when you're about to go to sleep, and he won't even turn off the lights until he hears your soft snores

unpopular opinion—i believe that ricky is honestly really shy when it comes to you. like if you tell him that you love him, he'll get shy and clingy and while hide in the crook of your neck

his favorite thing in the world is when your laying in between his legs with your head on his chest. he'll play with your hair until you fall asleep

that's another thing about ricky; he feels guilty when he falls asleep first, because he hates the fact that you're lying awake basically alone

he's so delusional, he literally will lie in bed and plan out your wedding

" oh and your ring is gonna be soooo pretty baby "

" oh yeah? "

———————・✦

• gyuvin

boyfriend!gyuvin oh god.... yes those are tears you see in my eyes 😰

gyuvin likes to mess around and tease his members, but when it comes to you he's the sweetest, softest thing you've ever met

he gets sososo shy when you compliment his on his appearance at all. no like he genuinely covers his face and gets all smiley

the members always make fun of him because whenever you're around, he turns into this giant clingy simp

he honestly is really good about communication. like he absolutely will not let you go to sleep angry

do not break up with him. if you break up with him i'm pretty sure he'd go genuinely insane. he'd also be one of those stalker exes.....

you haven't seen clingly until you've met kim gyuvin. he literally wants to be physically attached to you at all times

" no come back! "

" gyu we've been cuddling for like six hours straight?!"

———————・✦

• gunwook

oh how i love boyfriend!gunwook....

gunwook is lowkey SUCH a gentleman. like if you two were on a date outside and it was sunny, he'd put a hand over your head to keep your eyes from hurting. or if your shoes were untied, he'd tie them without even thinking.

has you as his lockscreen and smiles every time he checks the time, or opens his phone ( it's a picture of you sleeping )

he buys you soooo many stuffed animals, but they're all teddy bears, and they're all named gunwook #1-#203. yeah... he really loves buying you plushies..

loves going to the arcade with you, cus he think you're so adorable when you're competitive/focused

you genuinely make him soooo happy and he smiles every time he looks at you. he could literally be having the worst day he's ever had, but the minute you walk in he has the biggest smile on his face

please compliment him or he'll cry. like your validation is a top priority, just like taerae. so if he's been working on his choreo extra and you notice, he's literally skipping around like a child

he definitely falls for your traps all the time

" do you think i look good today?? "

" yes of course baby "

" good not great? do you not even love me any more?! "

" WHAT?! "

———————・✦

• yujin

boyfriend!yujin is soooo confusing.

i say this because you minute he's bullying you, and the next he's cuddled up with you on the couch watching a movie

i think that he loves and adores you so much it confuses him sometimes since you two a young, and he dosent know what to do with himself

he's not the best at expressing his feeling and you have to understand that. he sometimes feels really bad when he treats you cold, but he doesn't want to admit it

but when he's in a good mood, he treats you so well. like he honestly treats you like you're royal

he sometimes has to ask his hyungs for advice because he doesn't know how to be a boyfriend. but he really tries that's all that matters

but yet again, when he's in a good mood he's clingy and smiley and won't let you out of his grasp for more than two minutes

" where are you going? :( "

" yujin i have to go pee "

" do you REALLY have to pee? "

" uhm.... yes "

" are you sure? "

" yujin- "

#bubblegyu00 #kpop #zb1 #zerobaseone

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