#I'm so tired of them being the lesser evil | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yandere-romanticaa · 4 months

Text

art credit. // I was greatly inspired by this post by the lovely @yanderenightmare so, I'd like to add my own little take on it, but only focusing on Dabi and Hawks because I'm just in that mood.

The good and bad cop routine is something which would take ages getting used to. The sheer amount of whiplash and pressure which is being put on you on a daily basis is too much, it's too fucking much and you have no time to process any of it as you are forced into this new life without any sort warning. On the few rare occasions in which you are graced with the rare bliss of solitude, you sit at your new home and just think. Ponder. Scheme. You allow the luxury of fantasy to take over your mind - you run out of the front door, barefoot, broken and scared. Bruises, cuts, burns and plenty of other injuries litter your body like a stained canvas, old and used. You could already feel the aching of your unused muscles as they would scream at you to stop, lungs heavy with the need to just breathe you but you cannot because if you do they would find you and drag you back however they damned pleased.

In this fantasy, you managed to escape. The soft green grass touched your toes, the warm sun felt hot but incredible against your tired skin. It felt as though it was giving you a Welcome back! greeting as you would make your way towards the train station, with nothing but a few bucks and some pathetic excuse of an outfit on you. You had nothing but you could manage. Anything was better than being forced back into that Hell.

You let out a long sigh as vivid imagery engulfed you, it felt so real. There you were, out of the country and lost to civilization somewhere far, far away. Grunt and manual labor would be beyond difficult to start with but it was the best possible option as it would give you little to no attention. Besides, it would take ages for your abused body to get used to it, which would probably dock your pay a little but you didn't mind. Oh how perfect of a life that would be, with no one around to bother you ever again. Perhaps in a few years if you felt like it, perhaps you could step foot in a crowd without the paranoid fear of someone peeling your skin off with white hot flames of fury and jealousy.

Dabi's touch became like a second nature to you and you hated it. Whenever he could he would grab you and just press you close to him, not caring at all about any personal space. He was tired and bored, behave and he'll be good to you, maybe. Keigo would proceed to reprimand him for his attitude but you knew damn well that he was no better than the villain.

He too would take you if he had the chance. Frankly, you were never sure what you were more keen on - Dabi's devilish honesty or Keigo's sweet suffocation. Neither option was good but Keigo felt like a lesser evil, something you could manage with a kind word or two.

You couldn't help but to grunt as your eyes fluttered open. Looking around, the apartment was still vacant. Damn it all, you couldn't even fantasize without even thinking of the two.

Oh how happy they would be if they knew that fact.

You could already hear Dabi's satisfied grunt as he pulled you close to his chest, his touch rough and unforgiving. That's right you should be thinking about him, you should be worried about what he might do to you because mercy is not in his vocabulary. Despite his constant teasing and bullying, Dabi was in no mood for games. Sure, he was a sadist who took genuine pleasure in watching you squirm and cry, particularly if it was caused by his hand. His awful burns would take forever to heal, he sometimes wouldn't even allow them to heal. That was his own personal way of claiming you, putting his own little stamp of ownership somewhere visible. As stated, mercy is not something he is familiar with.

A kinder touch is more up to Keigo's speed.

Despite the beautiful wings on his back, the man was no angel and he was not guiltless. He was just as bad as Dabi but his own obsession simply manifested in a completely different manner. Instead of hurting you, the pro hero preferred to be doting and kind. Oh how he ached to touch you but whenever you would flinch away hurt him so badly, but he never put the blame on you. Horrible, mean Dabi was the one who messed you up, which meant that it was Keigo's job to fix you. The blonde just loved to bathe you, his fingers gently massaging your scalp as the scent of shampoo would fill his nostrils, a scent he hand picked in hope that you would like it.

They took so much from you. He had to make it up somehow.

It was during these vulnerable moments where he tried to get you to open up to him. There were times when he managed to do just that and have a proper conversation with you. He stored those precious memories deep inside his heart and he would replay them constantly in his head as he was out on patrol.

He couldn't wait to get home. Did you start to see him as desirable? A person of safety? God he hoped so.

There was no way out of this arrangement he made with Dabi, there just wasn't. It was hard to manage but it had to be done. Keigo felt bitter about the fact that Dabi was the one who spent most of the day with you. Keigo was unfortunately tied down by his hero work and public duties, which meant that he had to be extra careful about his activities with you. He couldn't risk the public knowing about you, it was too dangerous.

As for Dabi, he danced on a strange line of being allowed to do whatever he wanted while also somehow being able to do nothing. On paper that makes no sense but Dabi is just that kind of guy. He can have you for himself for the whole entire day but if you were spotted with a nefarious criminal such as him, he would be in deep shit. He was skilled enough to take care of this whole ordeal but still.

The relationship you have with these two is rocky. It's like trying to pick a rose and trying to avoid the thorns, only to end up getting pricked by an even bigger thorn. No matter where you go, run or hide, they are always there. Not even your own mind was safe.

307 notes · View notes

decolonize-the-left · 7 months

Text

Saying "I'd vote for an anti-fascist if they ran in my party and enough ppl in my party supported them, but my party supports genocide instead so we should vote for Genocide again." in 2023 is fucking wild

I genuinely can not believe that Blue Fascists are legitimately getting y'all's consent to not only commit genocide, but to give them the opportunity to do it again and y'all REFUSE to stop and think about what your ACTUAL morals and principles are anymore.

"yeah but if we don't vote blue-"

Any Democrats still using this soft threat/warning is one of two things: safe and always has been OR is safe on us soil and does not want to be treated the way other minorities are.

It's about making sure THEY are safe. Their lives are unbothered.

I've had 3 Dems tell me in the last two days "you're worried about yours. Im worried about mine." There are notes on the poll I made on Tumblr with the same exact sentiments.

Liberal gays will tell you: do you want what's happening there to happen here? Project2025 is a real threat!

And that's cuz they refuse to see it is here. They don't see natives being arrested and tear gassed on our own land the same way theyd perceive someone walking into their yard and tear gassing them out. They see it as just how natives are treated. They don't see it as inequality or unfair or something to even be addressed.

They see it as normal. A part of life that they just are so helpless about.

But listen to them cuz what they're saying is important.

Just the threat of being treated how the rest of us are and they beg and gaslight the whole planet into supporting a racist and genocidal warmonger.

Democrats are NOT a party of the people no matter how much they try to gaslight the rest of us into believing it

They are literally guilting and manipulating us to tolerate more genocide and hate crimes and war crimes cuz doing otherwise would force them to sacrifice some of their 1st world comforts.

Democrats are fucking fascists and I'm tired of everyone pretending they're not.

I'm tired of everyone pretending "lesser evil" is necessary.

Fuck you.

I'm done suffering for someone else's comfort when all they have shown me MY ENTIRE LIFE is that they would let me die if it meant they had to be uncomfortable to save me.

Fuck you, Democrats are never ever getting a vote from me or anyone I know ever again.

Give me Claudia De La Cruz or give me death

#democrats #liberals #2024 election #lgbt #indigenous #native american #solidarity #intersectionality #capitalism #biden #leftist

235 notes · View notes

ofallthingsnasty · 4 months

Note

Pretty please could you do F, H, N, or Y for crocodile one day! I’m curious on your thoughts about him and I love when you talk about him 😭 my new obsession is the pug who he hates but tolerates just for you, so sweet 🥺

Yandere Alphabet letters a, i and q for crocodile hdsjahj anon I'm glad you like my rambles because they are so much fun to write 💕💕 regarding the little dog - don't be fooled, it's 50% him wanting to see you happy and 50% having even more leverage over you 🤭 mean man...

tw.yandere, violence, minors dni

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Uh oh, you might want to reconsider doing that. You call it fighting back, he calls it being an ungrateful, whiny little brat and it pisses him off. There are few things that make his blood boil when it comes to you, and being defiant and insulting him is one of them. Does he know that you’re here against your will? Sure. Does he care? No. You see, he views himself as some sort of provider - he’s giving you a life a million times better than your old one. You’re cared for, well-fed, nicely dressed, don’t have to work - really, your only job is to play house when he’s around (which he isn’t all that often, busy as he is). He doesn't even expect you to fuck him for it, he just wants someone to come home to, who will let him rest his head on their lap and caress it. (Of course, he oh-so-graciously ignores the gigantic power imbalance between the two of you when it suits him, especially when it comes to the bedroom. But generally speaking, I think he can be rather mellow compared to others, can even be reasoned with to a certain extent. Just be good for him.)

He thinks he’s being more than generous, more than fair - for the position you're in. A lesser pirate would have killed you by now, he tells you, would have gotten a new toy already. No, no - he is here to stay, he wants to see you thrive, even.And if you throw it all in his face, spit at him, dare to fight him - oh, what he’ll feel will be beyond good and evil. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, darling.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Okay, good news first: When it comes to Crocodile, I’d argue that the worst experience is really limited to just one. I’ve talked about him physically lashing out at you in a moment of rage and in the weeks that have passed that thought kind of stuck with me. At his core, this man doesn't want to hurt you (deeply). Manipulating you with visual threats and possibilities is one thing, but genuinely injuring you to make you bend to his will? Not really his style. Yes, he does corporal punishments - but only because they’re so effective and can be done so quickly. (A classic action - réaction, if you will.) So, what exactly is that nebulous worst experience? It’s him either using his Devil Fruit powers or his hook on you. To even get to that point, he’d have to be beyond angry with you. It’s probably something that happens early on while you’re not yet acquainted with your new role and you dare to insult him, try to escape - maybe you spiral, his temper simply cooks over and- Trust me, he’ll never do it again. It’ll leave permanent physical damage. But it’ll also traumatize you into submission, which is the only good thing to come out of this, at least to him. You’ll both regret it. And you’ll both learn from it.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Spankings. Lots of them. It’s quick, efficient, shows you who is in charge, makes you sit a little straighter, makes you sweeter - he isn’t beyond mind games in general but when it comes to punishments, a quick correction is just more convenient. Manipulation and the likes are the long con, the work he puts in to undermine your self-esteem, to make you doubt your own feelings for your captor. But the spankings are the here and now, the thing that keeps the cat from sharpening its claws on the sofa.

You’ll learn to associate that telltale-look of tired disappointment with a sigh and over my knee, darling. He’ll ask what you’ve done wrong, will make you count, will leave you feeling so small, like an unruly child and not a fully grown adult - it’s a great way to keep you edge, to never let you forget who is in charge here, no matter how much time passes and in how many gifts he showers you.

And if it’s really dire - you get the belt.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

I always waver on this one. We know from the story that he isn’t afraid of planning, slowly building, waiting - Operation Utopia was a goddamn mammoth and he has the patience to wait on you for years and years to make it perfect - but. Doesn’t he deserve something soft? Someone to come home to? And what good is all that plotting and lying in wait and watching if he could have had you by that point already?He definitely won’t go ‘alright, that one’s spouse-shaped, put them in the bag’ when he sees you for the first time but he won’t wait too long for you either. Just long enough to gain sufficient intel, to get to know you a little better, to make your disappearance as smooth and seamless as possible. I’m not trying to sound harsh, but not only does he not want to wait too long - there are also other, more important things to do? He can’t spend months upon months learning about you inch by inch, he has an Ancient Weapon to seize and a country to overthrow. You can’t be mad at him when he pulls the plug at a certain moment and simply takes what he wants. It’s really only logical.

#omg that was waaaaay too much fun. thank you for indulging me!! kiss for you... 💕#tw.yandere #/crocodile #/one piece #yandere one piece #crocodile x reader

90 notes · View notes

yandereorg · 1 year

Note

My brain is turning to mush (currently doing HW for my work program & it's making my ADHD go brrrrrr) but if ur still wanting asks girlboss I got u 🫡 I've had this lurking in my mind for a while 2 cope but like 👀 batboys with big sister type!darling, she's the eldest child of her family so she is under a constant pressure to keep her family safe but it's obvious to everyone around darling that darlings family is crazy toxic to the point it has even the yans like 'wow those are some red flags, darling you live like this? 😵‍💫' n darlings is like 'yeah I know, somehow you're the lesser of two evils 🫠 at least you're sexy & love me tho😔🥺' And then one day they just find darling sitting on their bed n there like 'HOWD YOU GET IN?!?! 😳' n darlings is just like 'This is my problem of the week: I just found out my dad has another family with a babymama almost my age & now both my parents are trying to make it my problem.( Do u see why I be using yandere DC to cope djdjsndm😭) I can't keep doing this anymore, can you just like, idk kidnap me or something? It wouldn't even be kidnapping I'm coming willingly I'm so tired of them let me stay with u pls I'd rather be the mother of ur children instead of being my family's scapegoat 🥺😭' -Bimbo Anon 💕 (idk if this make any sense I high key started rambling 🤦‍♀️ also I'm shaking hands with M anon, I too wish to be whisked away by joyfire it rough out here 😭🙏)

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭

im so sorry!! we love you

𝐃𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧

♡ Dick understands. He is Bruce's emotional translator, but the Bat Family is not known for being healthy. He's on your side and knows that what's happening is wrong. He won't validate your family. He’ll keep his distressing qualities hidden, afraid his more volatile moments will bring you back to your familiar home. It feels like Dick is the only one fighting for you. He doesn't need to use his usual tactics, he can sense your desperation to break free from your family. You're ripe for the taking. Luckily, you've fallen into the arms of a hero.

𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐝

♡Jason feels intensely guilty. He watches on, torn between two choices: he could steal you away or let you continue in the pressure cooker. He knows what it's like to stew in that environment. Jason has little sympathy for your family. Wouldn't it be so bad if you never saw them again? He remembers all the hope he had for his own family, forever hoping they'd change. They, of course, never did. He wants to save you so desperately, but he doesn't wish to taint your life any further. He wants to prove himself as good. He's not just the lesser of two evils. Jason has good in him, he promises. He does like the daydream of being your sweet savior, the prince you dreamed of! Your days taste like honey with Jason. Why would you go back to them? He'll give you safety, provide for you. There's no pressure waiting to crush you. No, you're safe here. Jason yearns for you, so thankful and adoring, pretty eyes looking up at him, cherished in his arms.

𝐃𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐖𝐚𝐲𝐧𝐞

♡ Damian adores you; you're his sweet peach, his darling lamb, his angel, and he simply won't allow you to be treated like this. The toxic waste you call family makes his blood boil. He can't bear the thought of leaving you to simmer in the mess any longer. When you mention his own red flags, he just assumes that your idea of love is so misguided that his most earnest affections seem strange and his most pure-hearted actions may seem malicious in your tainted gaze. You may fear that his gifts may be used against you, but it's true. He'll remind you that these fears are left over from a long-forgotten time. You're safe now, and though the effects of the radiation linger, with Damian you'll never have to deal with them.

358 notes · View notes

circular-bircular · 28 days

Text

Miscellaneous Thoughts

Alright, now that I’ve sat for a bit with my thoughts, got food, and destressed some…

Thoughts are going under a cut. This is all just ramblings and musings in regards to syscourse. Don’t take it too seriously.

I am sick and tired of the “sides of syscourse” bullshit. There aren’t sides. The sides are completely arbitrarily decided by those who tout themselves as leaders of the community, and if they don’t do so themselves, they are held up as paragons by those who regurgitate their disgusting displays in attempts at coherent thought.

I do mean that in regards to “all sides.” There are some of those who follow me who sicken me with how they attempt to interpret my words.

But then there are those who also engage with conversation, when possible. There are those who attempt to further conversations. And there’s those who are just trying their best, to understand or to learn more.

I’m… frustrated. Mostly that I can’t exist without this. It’s my entire disorder. I can either exist openly online as a DID system while participating in syscourse, or I can’t be online as a DID system. I can’t have a blog about my experiences without having to bring Endogenic systems into it, in some way.

I see my endogenic friends struggling right now due to fakeclaiming, and that’s hell. But I also see endogenic systems saying, “anti-endos have no idea what it’s like, having people tell you each day that they hate you or that you don’t exist!” And I know they mean me. Because they believe anti-endo means CDD.

I’m a CDD system. I’ve got DID. I struggle with it. And each and every day, I see more and more people who are trying to punch at the anti-endos doing things that directly impact me, as someone who isn’t a fucking anti-endo. As someone who isn't even pro-endo anymore. I'm not anti or pro anything! I'M JUST TRYING TO FUCKING EXIST.

The ToSD is real and valid, regardless of who participated in the writing and popularization of it. There’s plenty of research that supports it. Attacking the ToSD is not attacking anti-endos. It’s attacking CDD systems.

DID is a trauma only disorder. You cannot have DID without having repeated childhood trauma. You do not need to hate your system or be disordered by your plural aspects of self to have DID, and anyone saying otherwise is ignoring even the DSM. Attacking DID diagnostic criteria is not attacking anti-endos. It's attacking CDD systems.

Anyone, at all, who harasses anyone else, is either a troll, or hurting. They aren’t fucking evil. They aren’t irredeemable. They’re certainly a damn sight more than a fucking parasite — how in the goddamn insurmountable levels of hell do you think it’s appropriate to compare living, breathing human beings to parasites, and deem them worse and lesser? What gives you the right to treat others like this?

For fucks goddamn sake, I just want to live. I just want to survive with this disorder online. I want to talk about my experiences. But every single goddamn time I’ve tried, I get caught in this loop.

First, it was pro-endos, insisting I was valid while gaslighting me and harassing me into thinking I didn’t have goddamn trauma.

Then, it was anti-endos, insisting my hurt was valid while demonizing the pro-endos who hurt me first.

Then it was all of you fuckers, every single person in syscourse — yes, even you — who perpetuated these cycles. And the thing is, I’m not blaming you, I’m not upset with you; it’s just fucking impossible to avoid at this point!!

And the thing is, I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave this place. I’ve spent a goddamn decade trying to carve out a hole for myself to hide in here. This became my home for so goddamn long because I didn’t have one of my own. And god, I have made a lot of connections here, people who I would miss. People who I DO miss.

But you all make it so damn difficult. Pro-endos hurting me more each day. Anti-endos hurting my friends and taking the battling gun approach to fighting ableism.

I’m so tired.

I’m just. So goddamn tired.

I think that’s all I’ve got in me right now. That’s all the energy I can muster for this. At least it’s words that count toward my daily total, right?

#syscourse #venting #this is your captain speaking

18 notes · View notes

meimeikyu · 12 days

Text

Giving sans AUs kpop solo songs,,, an extremely self indulgent post

this is based on both the tone/lyrics of the song, my interpretation of the lyrics, and the music videos. also just songs i like

also!! a lot of these will be focused on my interpretations of both the song and the characters, as well as specific parts of them

(this will be slightly long and full of links so it goes under the cut)

Cross: Lilac - IU

youtube

this song makes me so aggressively happy and sad at the same time and its so hgksghkshgksghs i feel like itd fit him so much,,,, for one lilac being the song name bcs i associate cross heavily with lilacy purple but also just the whole theme of the song being losing a person but it being like a perfect goodbye and etc and. idk i see it in him

"Will you forget me someday?

Will you forget our faces and the scent of today?

While having a good nap

Like a faded mid-spring’s dream"

Blue: Bam Yang Gang - BIBI

youtube

okay so this is mostly based on the lyrics, and the concept of blue working with the stars but kinda being lesser than them? since hes 'only' mortal and cant keep up and yet hes expected to and. yeah i love this concept n i love this song so

"As you were leaving you turned around and said to me

"You always want far too much"

No what I’ve always wanted was one thing

Just one thing sweet chestnut red bean jelly"

Dream: INVU - Taeyeon

youtube

god so its like a sad song about forbidden love in my mind but like. some of the lyrics hit so hard n i feel like theyd work for dream so well and the mvs so pretty (and also has a bow!) but like. dream and forbidden things work so well together in my mind bcs shes the one trying to keep everything together and yet also be the perfect guardian of positivity and can never be sad or angry and never get tired or stop and. she cant even love someone because shes supposed to be a guardian and thats not part of her job </3 (also trans fem dream canon to me)

"I think I lost my mind

But it's my kind of love

Without leaving anything

Pour everything out and flop

Suddenly at one point

I see myself exhausted

Even though I'm trying my best"

Ink: water color - Whee In

youtube

okay one i adore this song two the whole song being art/painting themed!!! literally ink!!!!!! and the theme of a lot of the lyrics being about becoming/embracing yourself (in my mind) i feel like fits him bcs like, hes out of the normal hes weird but hes HIM!! he has an identity he has a life he has friends hes not just that sketch anymore!!! hes a full person :D

"Gonna make it colored

I'll pick my brush

Just dye my everything, yeah, deep in my mind

Then I will follow my heart

Draw the things that only I have

Gonna do it my way

I don't wanna stay here"

Nightmare: Animal Farm - BIBI

(warning for fake blood/gore in the mv, as well as violence and guns)

youtube

so i actually had a few ideas for nightmare tbh but idk they didnt feel quite right to be 'the' song i put as nightmare, but oh boy this song did! the whole royalty vibes of the music video plus the apple in the beginning, and just the whole tone of the song and mv felt so right. whats more fitting than the one video thats age restricted lmfao

this is meant to be a more fanon nightmare but not quite the whole 'only doing it for the balance would never do violence otherwise' nightmare but also not 'fully evil an corrupted and the real nightmare is dead' just,, some combination of the two that i like to do nightmare as. definitely bad but not cruel to those close to them, would do violence or manipulation for purposes other than the balance and for her own gain, but doesnt intend to tip the scales all the way and destroy every positive instance. also very much fancy and royal aesthetics :3

"Welcome, well done

Shameless friends of mine

Who's next?

Hang my pretty head in your room

Where is love? Where is my sympathy?

What have we lost?

Is it a farm? Is it society?

Am I a tiger or a gazelle?"

Killer: Heart Attack - Chuu

youtube

oh wow the song i drew killer with like a week ago,,, shockinggggg (silly)

tone wise does this song seem like killer? meh debatable but i associate it with him so fucking hard!! one i feel like if we go off popular like fanon-ish killer i think hed like this song <-projecting probably but TWO!!! all the lyrics about like giving his heart an the apple themes in the mv??? consider: its him about nightmare, giving his whole heart sould and purpose to nightmare and how nightmare is obviously tied to apples canon wise, and the mv uses apples to represent freedom or sin (imo) and killer 'eating the apple' or agreeing to work with nightmare for some form of freedom. also non toxic killermare has my heart and soul and this is so killermare to me btw <33333 (also the other girl in the mv is yves and for the sake of this idea she is nightmare in this context <3)

btw have i mentioned how much i fucking LOVE this song bcs i fucking adore this song i love it so much im so insane about it

"Pounding more and more

I’ll give it all, take my heart

Surely you’re my destiny

It shines fully in my heart"

Dust: 28 Reasons - Seulgi

youtube

ok lyric wise maybe less fitting than the other songs but like,, the whole mvs theme of 'good and evil exist together in a person' is like. so how i feel about dust how do i word this. what he did is bad or 'evil' killing everyone is objectively bad but in his mind hes freeing them from a worse fate (the constant resets) and doing it for the greater 'good'. it doesnt matter if thats true or not, the fact is he believes it to be,,,, combine with the idea of him sometimes feeling horribly guilty about what hes done versus comforting himself with what he does because its better for him... i feel like both dust and killer have this very skewed view of their past vs present, and where killer barely remembers his past dust VERY MUCH does, and has a massive line in his head of where sans ended and he started. idk if this makes sense to anyone else but alone those lines, picture the chorus as if its him talking to himself,,,, also this songs amazing i love it

"28 reasons that ruined you, you don't have to know

I have no bad intentions

You know all 28 reasons to run away

So, why are you leaning into me again?"

Error: Glitch - Kwon Eunbi

youtube

This ones also kinda less directly connected but i couldnt not do the glitchy song for error (i also had minimal other ideas shhh)!! The whole glitchy theme and a lot of the lyrics being based around that is perfect for our glitchy man,,,, also this song is just really good n i love eunbi!!

"I make a touch, t-t-touch the limit After crashing the steep wall again The shaking caught my eyes, wait a minute"

---

so originally this was gonna have more guys but ive run out of proper ideas for it and if i don't post it as is its gonna live in my drafts forevr n i dont want that bcs im actually really happy with what i have so far so end for now!! i may do more another time but yeah!

i do offer this bonus tho!!

Festivalverse: Apple - Gfriend

youtube

in general i adore this song but also i just associate it with my au, specifically the gods!! also the apple theme in general fitting with dreamtale, the final bit, and just how gorgeous the whole mv is! its so my au to me :3

silly thing but if ur curious about which member would be who in festivalverse: Sowon - Ink, Umji - Error, Eunha - Geno, Yuju - Reaper, Yerin - Dream, SinB - Nightmare

"There’s no turning back when the night turns restless Let the festival I dared to imagine come alive"

12 notes · View notes

cafe-shade · 9 days

Text

I'm tired of conversations that should be, "oh fuck I wasn't thinking," becoming ego trips for weirdos.

(link) so you can see the thread I guess, but-

If gender, and Man specifically, is a social construct under a patriarchal society, then men cannot be inherently evil. Thus rhetorically equating them with evil, sexual predation, etc, is not only bad optics & praxis, but goes against the basis of our theory. Unless you're a terf\incel.

So, the sw who's been too stressed to make content right, says that women should be hornier without fear of being a predator. Because crossing boundaries is where predation lies, not in the lust itself. Furthermore, the ethos of predation is a feeling of entitlement to control of the other (lesser), not lust. Unless you're unironically treating someone who hasn't consented to it, like a less intelligent animal to be subjugated, you're not bad for imagining your crush sitting on your face. + @lgbtlunaverse

TLDR; BITCHES BE WEIDER HORNIER AND HORNIER PLS, hell isn't real and you're not a bad person for thinking about someone when you masturbate.

og reply:

That's true, both statements can and do coexist in a vacuum/normally. But consider that, this post began with OP all but stating that men are bad when they're horny towards women, while trying to say it's okay for us (lesbians) to be horny for women.

We can't call it a stereotype if we're literally saying and then defending the dogshit take. Not saying OP is evil, but essentially confirming what your notes said. It's not just bad optics/rhetoric, but it implies a bad understanding of theory. Like, that's a step away from misogynistic radfem- "women are pure beings tainted only by men's evils"- tier mess. People be evil, but half the population isn't inherently worse. This isn't just semantics when we're mocking the start of good discussion with people who might understand less, on account of the fact they understood how (insert idea) impacts them. Especially when the idea implicitly demonizes them.

I'm not criticizing them for the half statement, I'm criticizing them for objecting to their half statement being completed in a useful way that furthered the conversation.

+ When I said "we," I meant society at large. Not feminists, but the Patriarchal society we live in on Earth. So yes, it's implied those ideas are result of/basis of rape/purity culture.

TLDR: in comments

#cursed girl #lesbian #politics #gender #feminism #feminist #sapphic #femme #butch #trans #lgbtq #queer #egirl philosopher

8 notes · View notes

cursedvibes · 9 days

Note

tw // rape and sexual assault

Can I be honest about something. I feel like Kenjaku fans are really dishonest about their sexual assault and rape.

I know that they didn’t directly rape Choso’s mother themself, but they still orchestrated it and oversaw it and made sure the cursed spirit raped her.

And then there’s Kaori. Is it not rape to have sex in a dead person’s corpse? She couldn’t consent to having her body used like that. It’s rape. And if you try to defend this and say that her body wasn’t hers anymore…that’s beyond vile.

I’m not saying that Kenjaku fans can’t like them or think they’re an interesting character or whatever. But I think it’s deeply harmful that I’ve seen so many of you insist that they’re not a rapist. Too many of you are like “hehe my criminal wife who commits all the crimes XD” and if you’re going to like a character who’s a rapist, could you at least not talk about them like that?

I mean, I can understand being uncomfortable with that and with what Kenjaku did, that's what you're supposed to feel after all. I also don't think Kenjaku fans have the obligation to bring up every single one of their crimes every time we talk about them, even if it's light-hearted. I talked about Kenjaku being a rapist before here and for the most part still agree with what I said there. While from what we know, the way the mother was impregnated wasn't sexual, I can understand calling it rape. It's like if someone was inseminated with a syringe against their will. Technically not sexual, still a violation of the body and reproductive autonomy.

So yes, what they did to the Death Painting mother is vile, so is them killing infants and and exploiting people's bodies in all kinds of ways. In case of Kaori I'm also heavily side-eyeing Jin's involvement there, especially after the reveal about his past. I don't particularly like it when some Kenjaku fans minimize what they did or say it didn't happen at all/excuse it in some other way, I honestly only see that very rarely though. Not nearly as much as people painting Sukuna as the perfect husband for example or him just being deeply misunderstood. Many Kenjaku fans are very much aware of their atrocities, just don't bring it up at every occasion because there's a lot more to talk about. What annoys me much more is people breaking all this down to redundant and tired "backshots" memes.

Still, I don't think all that prohibits you from making jokes about them in general like "my evil wife" etc. You have every right to be uncomfortable with that and I'd advise to block people who you think go too far, I do the same thing myself, but I think in itself it's not a bad thing. We're still talking about a fictional character here after all. As long as you don't lose sight of what they actually did (like I'm getting the impression with many of the backshots memes besides them often being very trans- and homophobic), I don't see the problem.

A lot of that has to do with how jjk engages with these things too. Like the Death Painting experiment isn't treated quite as lightly (and personally, I've never seen anyone joke about that specifically, but maybe I was lucky), but Kenjaku's treatment of Choso for example is and so fans see it as an opening to find the humor in a terrible situation. It's much harder to make jokes about Seiko from Blood on the Tracks, despite her having committed far lesser crimes than Kenjaku because the nature of the story is different. More realistic, you experience the horror of her abuse first-hand and the characters don't make a lot of jokes themselves either. There is much more of a comedic element to Kenjaku, they can be quite a quirky character, so people feel a lot more comfortable making jokes about them. Based on the target, severity and content I don't think that's bad, just a different way of engaging with the media.

When I write about the Death Painting experiment and from the perspective of the mother for example (in fanfic or just my blog), I usually draw upon experiences of rape recovery together with medical trauma. It's not for everyone, but for me, exploring this topic in the safe environment of fiction is interesting and in a way comforting. The horror of the infanticide, worming their way into the Itadori family, their whole relation with Yuuji, the Death Painting experiment is what got me so invested and keeps me invested in jjk in the first place. That's not everyone's reason for engaging with it or Kenjaku, just my perspective. And yeah, I do make jokes about them too because despite all that they can be funny. I mean, they literally just did a comedy show.

#asks #tw rape #kenjaku

11 notes · View notes

vintageseawitch · 15 days

Text

i'm tired of evil winning so much. it doesn't matter some good things could happen; evil will be there in no time to destroy any decent progress. i'm tired of being terrified i'll lose my rights. i'm tired of being powerless about this & not being able to help others across the globe who have already lost their rights. i'm tired of how useless the UN actually is. i'm tired of the US being a global superhero by being murderous bullies. i'm tired of fascism rising again. i'm tired of WWII being romanticized but now people think that little Austrian artist with the even smaller mustache had some good ideas actually. i'm tired of human rights violations happening & there are zero consequences for it. i'm tired that the majority of humanity as well as currently living flora & fauna will have to pay the price for the greediness of the few. i'm tired of always hearing about a countdown to when we can never reverse climate change while those who are actually the major problem - the US military, big oil, & others - are able to get away with this. i'm tired of the bloated military industrial complex. i'm tired of having less rights than literal corpses. i'm tired of useless CEOs. i'm tired of billionaires. i'm tired of people thinking billionaires are geniuses instead of actually greedy sociopaths who will happily pay you nothing if they could get away with it. i'm tired of people thinking our government wouldn't do that when they actually totally would & have already done it in some capacity. i'm tired of "voting for the lesser of two evils." i'm tired of old, out of touch people being in charge. i'm tired of people being proud of their willful ignorance. i'm tired of the white-washing of history. i'm tired of people not giving a fuck about the environment. i'm tired of people not being able to afford homes when there are more empty houses than there are homeless people. i'm tired of workers labor being exploited so they get paid a time while their bosses get a dollar. i'm tired of learning my generation & younger are the most educated but the most overworked. i'm tired of older generations who had so much handed to them want to make sure someone else doesn't get the same because lead poisoning have made them into sociopathic cowards who refuse to see the truth & will vote against their own interest just to fuck over people they fear & misunderstand. i'm tired of people claiming protesting against genocide means you're antisemitic & should be silenced. i'm tired of book banning/burning. i'm tired of xenophobia when so many of us are descended from illegal immigrants. i'm tired of men still getting upset over a hypothetical question instead of doing some self-reflection. i'm tired of the patriarchy, rampant misogyny, & toxic masculinity. i'm tired of men not thinking anger counts as an emotion. i'm tired of rapists getting away with their crimes because "what about their future" & "what was she wearing" when it's actually not about sex but power instead. i'm tired of "not all men" to silence legitimate points. i'm tired of people who make false claims of being raped not facing any consequences so it's harder for real victims to come forward. i'm tired of being so afraid of being assaulted & getting pregnant with my rapists baby that i took my state of fertility in my own hands because i'm afraid of my government even as my obgyn said not to worry. i'm tired of the christofascist movement that is gaining momentum. i'm tired of project 2025 being a real possibility & people claiming "they wouldn't do that." i'm tired of how openly fascist conservatives are now. i'm tired of people drinking that kool-aid so hard. i'm tired of the bootlicking. i'm tired of cops & their undeserved diplomatic immunity so they can literally commit murder & get away with it. i'm so. fucking. tired. this country is hell & has helped make the world hell. america has never been great. it's just super effective propaganda & brainwashing that has been wildly successful.

i just want hope that doesn't feel delusional. i don't want to give up but i'm so tired.

#free palestine #anti genocide #project 2025 #this plan by the christofascists is REAL & everyone in the US needs to know this #usa problems #global problems #i hate being afraid of being alive in this timeline #climate change is real #i fucking hate big oil & the military #acab #america is three corporations in a trench coat #fuck you blackrock #fuck you christofascists #abortion is healthcare

11 notes · View notes

wildissylupus · 1 year

Text

Here's another rant for you, Kiriko isn't a poorly written character or contradictory or unnecessary, people just generally don't understand the meaning of her lore.

The Age Gap

First thing I want to address is the age thing, more specifically people saying that it doesn't make sense that Kiriko and Genji could be close with Genji being 35 and Kiriko being in her early 20s.

As someone who has their dynamic with my cousins who I have the same kind of age gap, I (obviously) find this incorrect.

I've seen people act as though Genji took her to parties and stuff, but realistically, they most likely only interacted while Genji was at the Shimada house or while training. Also its been shown that both Genji and Kiriko didn't have personal connections outside of they're families or the clan until after the Shimada clan fell. So of course they would be close, they literally only had each other.

Not only that but as I'm writing this I'm reading the Yokai short story and on the first page it is shown that the Shimada brothers obviously treated her like a younger cousin/sibling.

That and her young age is actually a big part of her story, growing up being a main theme in her cinematic, and her age actually influencing a lot of her views. Which I will get into later.

Her Personality

I've seen people say that Kiriko's personality in game contradicts what we were shown in her cinematic. The thing people forget is that the ideviduals she interacts with are people she is close to, her mum and her neighbours which she either learned sign language for or she was just generally close to.

This is important to recognise because she doesn't know most of the cast of Overwatch. So of course she's not going to treat them the same way that she treats people she considers family.

Not only that but Overwatch specially did nothing to help with the power vacuum they created. They are literally the reason the Hashimoto have so much control now, of course she's not going to be overtly nice to its members.

Not only that but the three members of Yokai that we know are stated to be younger then Kiriko, teenagers. She's leader and she needs to act like it because if she doesn't, kids could die.

I think this is most shown in her interaction with Ana;

Ana: You remind me of myself when I was younger.

Kiriko: That a compliment?

Ana: You be the judge.

Kiriko: Okay, thanks for the compliment.

Her Interactions and Relationships

"I won't say the Shimada were perfect, especially at the end..." - Kiriko, Yokai short story

I've seen people say that Kiriko defends the Shimada clan while also being "too hostile" towards Hanzo. The line above disproves the first claim, Kiriko just sees the Shimadas as the lesser evil of the "Shimada vs Hashimoto". Not only that but the whole being "too hostile" with Hanzo thing can be justified by one thing, canonically Kiriko doesn't know the finer details on what happened to Genji.

The most she could know is that Hanzo killed Genji, that's it. And we don't even know if she knows that, all she could know would be that Genji is dead and Hanzo skipped town.

Not only that but because she doesn't know the finer details she most likely believes that Hanzo abandoned her family and Kanesaka, either for no reason or he abandoned the post he killed his own brother for.

I hate how people act like everyone would be fine with Hanzo, like, Kiriko has a right to be mad at him and be openly hostile.

As for her other interactions I do think that some are brought down by poor line delivery, that's it.

But as I mentioned before, Kiriko has no reason to be nice to an organisation who didn't help fix a problem they caused.

Her Role in the Story

I believe Kiriko was introduced in order to cause conflict in the Shimada storyline, because I'm tired of people believing that Hanzo's redemption would be an easy road. Realistically Kiriko, Angela and Cassidy, along with other Overwatch agents, would at the very least not trust him and at most despise him.

Just because Genji has forgiven Hanzo doesn't mean his actions still didn't have consequences and I think Kiriko will be an example of that.

I also think that she will be a driving point for both Ana and Cassidy's opinion that sometimes Overwatch did more harm then good.

Essentially I think her character is going to be a driving point for other characters until she gets her own arc, maybe in a mini/separate story campaign.

(I honestly love the idea of her getting an anime)

Her Voice (this is more of a theory/headcannon)

Personally I think her having an American accent is a result of her having to go into hiding after the Shimada clan fell. I believe she had to learn how to do an American accent so the Hashimoto wouldn't hurt her. Because they didn't really seem to know Kiriko in the cinematic and her having an American accent would throw people off of gaining the suspicion she was related to the Shimadas or her mother in any way.

It a reasonable assumption considering the Hashimoto literally kidnapped her dad and is forcing her mum to work for them.

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #overwatch headcanons #overwatch lore #analysis #kiriko yamagami #kiriko kamori #kiriko #kiriko ow

48 notes · View notes

beevean · 9 months

Text

me constantly going in the CV tag despite knowing that it's 10% nice game fanart, 40% gifs of the show, and 50% some absolute braindamaging takes, is taking a toll on me

because after blocking the nth post admiring Lenore for playing Hector like a fiddle/saying Hector deserved to be enslaved for his original plan of culling mankind (nvm that babyboy Isaac was far more evil about it and he never got punished for wanting to "purify" the world)...

... I really want to think about Lenore and how I'd make her work with the crumbs that the show gave me lol

Lenore is obviously meant to be a parallel to Hector. Both of them are the animal lovers of their group, and mocked for it. Both of them are the "nice" ones in a group where cruelty reigns. Both of them are the least respected of their group - Dracula and Isaac shitting on Hector vs. Striga and Morana not even thinking about Lenore when they peace out. Both of them got used then discarded - yes, even Lenore, who became useless after enslaving Hector. Both of them are actually more of a threat than they look (allegedly, in Hector's case, but I can tell the intention was there).

Then there's the way they contrast. Lenore is a vampire who still clings on vestiges of humanity: she likes to eat food ("why live forever, if you're not going to live well?"), she rejects brute violence (again, allegedly) in favor of the more human art of diplomacy, she's compassionate about lesser creatures (humans included), and she's horrified at the realization that she is, deep down, nothing more than a greedy beast destined to crave more and more. Hector is a human alienated by humanity, who thinks culling is the kindest option, relates more to animals than his own species, and seems fascinated by the nature of vampires.

Imagine if the two actually bonded over this, and betrayed their "factions" because finally they found someone who respects them. And I mean organically bonded. On screen. With dialogue. Without the gross BDSM petplay. That part 100% has to go, it adds nothing, it's humiliation for humiliation's sake, it ruins Lenore's character, and it's just masturbation fuel.

I'd also change the scene where Lenore beats Hector. In my idea, Lenore flees from Hector's clutches, and then doesn't visit him again... for a week... and leaves him without food and water. By the time she comes back, Hector is desperate and is not above begging for some water, but she doesn't want to come close. "Are you going to hurt me again? :< you hurt me the last time :< you're so scary :< I did nothing to you and you tried to kill me :< I'm afraid that you'll do it again :<"

Basically, treating Hector like a rabid dog until he genuinely apologizes, and not only he learns the lesson that he shouldn't attack the only vampire who visits him, but he feels actually guilty and a terrible person about it. Made worse by how sensitive Hector probably is about all of this, as a love-starved abused child.

You know, manipulation, not just a brute display of strength to admire how stronk the girlboss is.

I don't know how their relationship would go from here, though. I only know that I'm more than happy with Lenore sunning herself: it is thematically coherent for her, her refusal to become like Carmilla, her guilt for hurting Hector, and if the two actually cared for each other, her choice to look at the only man who treated her with respect rather than the sun would be lovely.

Needless to say, we can only get here if she organically grows fond of him and doesn't rape him :^) but if she does, if she's really so cruel to hurt a man at his most vulnerable just to do what her sisters asked of her, then the story should treat her as such - and I'd also love to see Hector just snap, because by this point he's sick and tired of being seen as an object. Give him his big moment of taking down both vampires who hurt him. (in my vision not only he smashes Lenore's skull with his hammer, but he also takes a swing at Isaac - not killing him, just hurting him a little. please)

But I'd rather avoid that. I would like both characters to have agency - not even falling in love with each other, I don't care about that (they'd never be a cute couple anyway, not when she starts out as his jailer), just have a more interesting relationship built on two kindred spirits finding each other, but driven apart by their roles and nature. The vampire chooses death, the human grows and thrives.

There is sadly not going around the fact that Hector fell for two vampires (three if you count Dracula, but I can forgive that one) who employed the same strategy. I don't like the way Carmilla uses Hector either, but I can't be bothered to fix her rn.

#anti netflixvania #kind of. sort of.#mostly for categorization purposes #i'm just tormented by visions as usual #i wonder if i'll do to lenore what i did for surge lol #lenore thoughts #<- in case i need this post again

21 notes · View notes

scattered-winter · 1 year

Note

yeah i’ll bite what’s ur more correct hoo? 👀

for friends who have not yet read the series this is gonna spoil pretty much ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, everything. heroes of olympus, trials of apollo, etc etc so on and so forth. i am full of Opinions and by god's big green tits i'm gonna make them Heard.

alright listen. I have so much beef with heroes of olympus because like. the things it could've been. I'll list all my grievances first to get it all out of my system before telling you about my more correct version. if you'd like to skip the salt and get to the good bits, scroll down to the bolded text xox

gaea was a weak-ass antagonist with no real motivation outside of "she's trying to destroy humanity because she's evil." arguably, kronos was the same way, which when you look at him from a mythological standpoint it makes sense because his whole thing is trying to overthrow the gods (and really, the same could be argued for gaea; mythologically, she tends to cause some shit on occasion). but kronos had the lesser gods/demigods on his side, which added a fascinating aspect to the conflict in the og series, especially since, in the end, percy realized that they were right. everyone who had fought for kronos had justification for it. the gods used them, abused them, and abandoned them, and they were tired of being tools. and percy realized that, and changed the status quo so it would never happen again.

fast forward to heroes of olympus. gaea and the giants are destroying the world...........because they want to. there were no other arguments. there were no other motivations/antagonists to add a more interesting aspect to it. it was a classic good vs evil conflict with little to no grayness which,,,,isn't a bad thing, but it just wasn't as compelling.

camp jupiter. boyyyyyyyy howdy do i have a ramble for that. it's so insane to me that the camp was defended by kids and teenagers when an entire city full of adult demigods was literally just a short hike away from the camp itself ????? like. I get it was because camp jupiter was meant to be camp half-blood's opposite force or whatever but come on. one could argue that camp half-blood is similar because chiron is training kids to go on quests, but like......that's his mythological role. in the myths, that's what chiron does. and without an established city/safe place other than a summer camp, the greek demigods are child soldiers by necessity, but the roman demigods are child soldiers for literally no reason other than that the plot needs them to be. which ,, i'm not saying that's bad. i'm just saying it's not as good as it could be.

also the 7!!!!!!!! THE 7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! honestly, I think their whole deal is boiled down to a classic case of TELLING, not showing. we were told all throughout the series that the 7 are all best friends ,, a family, even. we were consistently told that. but there was very little actual instances of this being shown. group interactions were uncommon, and relationship dynamics were limited almost exclusively to romantic relationships or surface-level friendships that were explored only as an opportunity for quips and funny moments, but nothing deeper than that (percy and jason, for example). even the romantic relationship that preceded the series, percabeth, was broken down into a blander, flatter version from before, and both characters suffered for it. piper/jason was also flat and flavorless for most of the series, and frank/hazel is just. a mess. a 13 year old dating a 16 year old is squeamish in any context, and throw leo into the mix to make a weird, unnecessary love triangle, and it's just. even more of a mess. throw in the fact that every single character was motivated purely by romance and romantic relationships, and that every character ended up in a romantic relationship, and well. y'all know I'm aroace, so that's fairly self-explanatory. nothing worse than a piece of media claiming to be found family but focusing only on romance. kill die die die maim tear.

also about the 7, but it seemed to me that.......rick was trying to mimic percy's inner monologue with all of them--the sarcasm, the dark humor, etc. we all fell in love with percy in the og series, and I think he was trying to make us like the new characters in the same way, but in doing so he just made them all mini percys while also sandpapering the real percy. give each member of the 7 a different sense of humor/personality is what I'm saying. come on.

calypso. the only reason she was even in the books was to give leo a love interest, because apparently the single worst thing that can happen to a character is to not have someone to kiss (sarcasm intended). the gods not freeing her from the island just threw literally everything won from the og series out with the trash, and like. we know the gods are just Like That sometimes but look me in the eyes and tell me percy jackson, the boy who had just fought for so long and lost so much to get the gods' heads out of their asses, would just assume they followed through and not even check to make sure that another person wronged by the gods, someone he was very close to, got freed from her prison. that's right, you can't. my percy would never.

in that same vein: caleo. not only was the relationship kinda shaky in the first place because it was only there to give leo someone to kiss, it's also....not very good. calypso spends all her time belittling, talking down to, and sometimes even hitting leo, a character who canonically grew up in an abusive household. idk about y'all but.....an abused character already being thrown into a relationship for no reason, and then having that relationship be abusive?? and portrayed as the height of romance????? not a good vibe. I also really hated how, on top of all that, leo left his found family (canonically the only people who have ever made him feel loved/like he belongs) to go travel the world with calypso. which. another classic instance of familial/platonic relationships always, constantly being on a tier lower than romantic relationships. and y'all know how I feel about that.

the poc characters. I'm not the best resource on this one, since I'm not a poc, but there are plenty of people in minorities who have spoken out on this point, and I urge you to listen to them, because those arguments are all valid ones. (here is a good post that provides a good overview). I also remember seeing a really good post about piper's indigenous heritage as well, but unfortunately it's been lost to the void of tumblr.

aphrodite cabin. rick riordan seems to have this complex where the only female characters he can write about are tomboyish, tough, and badass. which isn't bad, of course, but it becomes a problem when all the more feminine female characters are portrayed exclusively as bullies/wimps. smfh there's more than one type of character in this world, richard

octavian. I get it, I hated him, everyone hated him, but I really can't deny that he had the potential for a compelling story. being manipulated by the oracle spirits into playing right into gaea's hands????? it COULD have been sooooo good, but octavian had hardly any development/focus, and I think him being manipulated only came up once or twice. storywriting equivalent of "he a little confused but he got the spirit."

now, for my more correct version :]

gaea's whole deal is completely different. instead of destroying humanity just because she Can, gaea is destroying the gods because she's furious and grieving her children, the titans. kronos was chopped into pieces and cast into eternal oblivion by the gods and demigods, and the other titans were forced back into subjugation, and gaea, who's been dealing with the gods' shit for thousands of years, has had enough*. so she rallies her other children, the giants, to bring down the gods and western civilization to avenge the millennia of heartbreak and injustice. which, yeah, fair enough. the gods suck and they've done some shitty things.

*this was actually touched on in the books when piper was using her charmspeak on gaea during the final battle. and I don't own physical copies of the books and tried everywhere to find the exact quote but it eluded me so I'll do my best to paraphrase from memory, but piper was sympathizing with all the grief and loss gaea has suffered over the centuries. tartarus banished, kronos defeated twice, etc etc. and I feel like that had potential for gaea's motivations but it was literally only brought up that one time smh

bonus points if there was some nuance to both sides. a few monsters who fight alongside the protagonists because they rely on western civilization just as much as the gods/demigods do, or even some gods or demigods who fight alongside gaea for one reason or another (like octavian, if he had been better developed). something to add some new facets to the conflict, because that was part of what made the conflict against kronos so damn compelling.

the 7 would be a found family FIRST, and a group of individuals w romantic relationships SECOND, if at all. percabeth can stay, as long as it's. actually the percabeth we all know and love, not whatever the fuck we actually had. piper/jason is on thin fucking ice, and only happens with the caveat that both their characterizations are my more correct versions (see below). hazel/frank is NOT a thing. piper, annabeth, and hazel have on-page interactions and friendships, and they have conversations about shared trauma and bonding over their common pasts in abusive households and shit like that, instead of talking about boys every fucking time. there are complex and multifaceted interpersonal relationships within the entire 7, and each friendship/dynamic has a chance to shine.

jason and percy. oughhhhhhhhh I have sooo many thoughts about them. they're character foils. percy had to fight for respect. jason had to fight to be treated normally. they're sons of arguably the most powerful gods of all time. they're opposites in nearly every way, but in the very same breath they're mirror reflections of each other*. I'm all for them being best friends, but the "sharing a braincell" himbo thing they had going on? that was played off purely for humor? hell no. they have a very deep and complicated friendship because they recognize themselves in the other and yet they're so completely different that they're on opposite ends of a spectrum. sure, they can hang out and have fun, but at their core, they have both a deep-seated understanding for each other but their personalities also grate a bit because they're so completely different. maybe there's a sideplot of them learning how to get along/be amicable with each other because they're both very traumatized TEENAGERS with so much pressure and stress to deal with, which, combined with the inherent complications of their relationship already, would make them a powder keg ready to blow. and I'm here for that. *the groundwork for their relationship being "two sides of the same coin" was already laid with hera switching them, and even with some characters stating how similar they were in some ways, but of course it was never expanded on so that's why it's here in the more correct version :]

piper. sooooooooo many complicated feelings about her. at first she was a generic Not Like Other Girls type, which. felt soooo cheap to me and is probably why piper/jason felt so. meh. because they were BOTH very flat and one dimensional at first. but in my more correct version, piper and drew were able to bond over being underestimated/ignored as daughters of aphrodite and as women of color, and I also hold the concept of piper being more feminine soooo close to my chest. I love characters who are so tough and badass who aren't allergic to dresses and makeup. her sexuality is also explored/brought up before she suddenly has a girlfriend.

jason doesn't DIE right when I start to actually LIKE him. smh (I'm sorry but it felt SOOO cheap to me. like it was purely for shock value. killing and biting). I do, however, love the concept trials of apollo introduced of jason being much more relaxed and comfortable with himself both as a greek-leaning demigod and as a kid who no longer had to deal with all the weight and pressure of being a Leader (tm). and jason acting more like a greek demigod vs percy acting more like a roman demigod can be another aspect of them being mirror reflections of each other. as percy begins to pick up more roman traits (because i LOVE to study how trauma/circumstances can change a character), jason starts to pick up more greek traits. it's another facet to their very complicated, very deep relationship with each other.

i ALSO love the concept of jason having a villain arc. he was a mirror to luke in so many ways; child soldier, abandoned by his godly parent, huge responsibilities on his shoulders, etc. I'd even argue jason had it worse than luke since he was a son of jupiter and thus had the constant pressure accompanying that. I think he deserved to go a little apeshit instead of that "high priest of the gods" bullshit

leo started out as my favorite, but as the series progressed, his character development stayed right where it was in the lost hero. I would have loved to see him change and grow as a person; maybe having a sokka-style arc where he grows out of his misogyny and sexism, and also gains some maturity (I liked his jokes, but come ON.) he would also have a different sense of humor, because as I said earlier it felt like rick was trying to make everyone into a mini-percy. I would also have loved to see a character not end up in a romantic relationship, since leo canonically had a lot of complicated feelings about family; it would have been great catharsis for me, someone who also has a lot of complicated feelings about family, to see a character I could relate to be able to find a family all of his own, with people he genuinely cared about and who loved him back.

hazel gets more development in how she was literally from the past. she died. I want more development and focus on that smh!!!!!!! how much is different in the modern age?? how many times does she walk down the street and do a double take because something's so completely different??? how many nightmares does she have about dying???????

frank stays chubby throughout the entire series. he does Not have a sudden glowup where he's No Longer Fat. he also doesn't date a 13 year old godbless

NICO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nico. first of all, him being gay is built up from day fucking one. maybe not said outright for a while, but it's at least CODED. it's not suddenly flung out of nowhere. for that matter, him being forcibly outed against his will is talked about more!!!!!!!!!!!! yes, jason was probably one of the best people he could have been forcibly outed to, but STILL !!! the trauma of having the choice taken away from you!!! especially for someone like nico, who was 1) raised in the 1940s where being gay was practically a death sentence and 2) sooo slow to trust. I need him to have some focus on that shit because it was fucked!!!!!!

in that same vein, solangelo is sooo much different. will solace gets some characterization in the pjo series to build him up beforehand, and he and nico interact a few times on-page in pjo as well to give their relationship some foundation as opposed to just. throwing them together for no reason. I would've really loved seeing them working together during the battle of manhattan!!! nico canonically has an admiration for will's bravery during the battle, and I would've loved to actually. ya know. see them work together on the page. I also think their dynamic has SOO much more to it than "sunshine bf/goth bf" that everyone+rick have turned them into. one of them is the son of death. one of them is a healer. will's probably lost so many of his friends because he was unable to save them. nico's lost so much of himself. they're soooooooo <333 by the time blood of olympus rolls around, they're already good friends, and almost losing each other in the battle only brings them even closer <3

annabeth and percy are still the same fucking couple/characters that i fell in love with in the og series, not the watered down romance we got

the final battle is much longer with much higher stakes (I want the camps having 24 hour watches while waiting for the enemy to attack again!! I want makeshift hospitals!!!! I want!!!!! a war!!! not a battle!!!!!!!!!)

the greeks are actually. taken seriously. on god. they're a highly competent force of fighters, not a bunch of immature idiots. rick riordan i am biting you (derogatory)

#i got kinda sleepytired but <333 here's my more correct version of everything #i might rb with an addition later because this is a Constant Thing in my head.#heroes of olympus #percy jackson #leo valdez #jason grace #nico di angelo #will solace #percy jackson and the olympians #piper mcclean #frank zhang #hazel levesque #annabeth chase #also you'll just have to trust that the solangelo in my head is SOOOO compelling and good #but i ran out of energy to fully express all my thoughts on it #but im right. you know i am.

75 notes · View notes

bunnakit · 6 months

Text

man last twilight hit me particularly hard today and i'm still crying after finishing the episode.

i spent a good chunk of my day at my specialist today and it wasn't great. my disease is getting worse. my weekly shots aren't enough anymore. i'm so tired and i can't stop fucking crying.

my immune system is fucked up, i produce too many white blood cells and those white blood cells have chosen to attack my skin. it leaves me with holes across my body - some of my wounds are now over a year old. when they heal they leave atrophic scarring - but they aren't even healing anymore.

the specialist gasped at the sight of me today. (i'd never seen her before, my state of being was new to her.)

"you're bleeding."

"i know."

"you're bleeding like, a lot."

"i know. i take iron supplements, it's okay."

"it's going to get all over your pants."

"it's okay."

"are you in pain?"

"yes. i'm used to it."

"are you in a lot of pain?"

"yes. it's okay."

she was so concerned, so alarmed, and i couldn't help but just smile and laugh it off. if i don't i'll end up like i am now, sobbing at my desk hidden away from my family because there's nothing they can do for me, they'll just hug me and say they're so sorry, they wish there was something they could do. but there's nothing anyone can do, this is just my life now.

"how often do you take your shots?"

"every friday."

"the recommended schedule for that medicine is once every two weeks"

"yes, they increased the frequency for me because i'm stage 3"

"and you never miss a dose?"

"no, i take it on schedule every week."

"i don't think it's working anymore."

i try to be strong about it, most of the time i am - this is just my life now, wallowing about it isn't going to fix it. i'm stage 3, the only thing that will fix it is a cure, but that doesn't exist yet.

i recently had to buy those washable period underwear because one of my year old wounds just won't stop bleeding and i'm so tired of washing the blood out of my pants. i've gotten so good at preventing bloodstains. (a mix of dawn dish soap, water, and baking soda as a pre-soak works wonders)

i bought an antimicrobial soap in bulk last week to prevent infection. it dries out my skin, but it's not as bad as the diluted bleach baths. i have to start using 10% benzoyl peroxide as a body wash. "do you have a fever?"

"no, i check regularly."

"your wounds are really deep, we're worried about you potentially going septic."

"i'm very careful and keep them clean."

i buy bandages and tape in bulk. my allergic reaction to the tape adhesives are the lesser of two evils. sometimes they get so bad i bleed, but it's just an abrasion. it's okay.

and now i have to take another round of antibiotics that make me nauseous.

and they're changing my medication. i'm 'lucky,' a new medication was approved by the FDA recently that shows good results in reducing the symptoms of my disease. but how long will it be before i don't respond to that anymore?

it's another biologic, an immunosuppressant shot, and i'm sure just like last time it's going to make me so, so sick. adjusting to biologics is so hard, it's not totally unlike low dose chemo (obviously there are differences) and last time it made me sick for weeks.

i don't want to be sick. i don't want to take these antibiotics that make me nauseous. i don't want to keep scrubbing the blood out of my pants. i don't want to use the soap that dries out my skin. i don't want to wear perfume to cover up the smell of my dying flesh. i can't even have sex with my husband. we recently went a year without having sex and i know he understands, he gets it, but i can't help but think part of him resents me. we got together when i was 22, when my symptoms were still mild, i got my diagnosis at 25. i quit my office job and lost my insurance. we eloped at 27 so he could add me to his insurance and i could afford my treatment. his family spent the next year asking why we were in such a rush to get married, we didn't know how to explain to them it was because my doctor was preparing to declare me completely disabled.

i don't want to be in pain anymore. it's been almost 10 years.

i'm okay, i'll feel better tomorrow, maybe even in a few hours, but i can see why people kill themselves over this. i'm so tired. i'm so defeated. i have to hope there will be a cure someday, something better than just pushing down the symptoms.

if you read this far thank you. like i said, i'm fine. i just wanted to get my thoughts and feelings out and i'm bad about talking to my family - they worry too much, pity me too much.

#personal #like very personal #cw gross medical shit #cw talk abt my sex life #or lackthereof #cw disease #cw medication

12 notes · View notes