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wongyuseokie · 1 year

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Your Loss | c.h.v | k.m.g | c.s.c | y.j.h | b.s.k

Summary: Your ex-boyfriend and you broke up a few months ago, but you two remained friends, and of course, his nosy friends can’t help but pry and get as detailed as possible to find out what ended the relationship, and then, of course, offer to make only you feel better. However, they can. All while your ex-boyfriend watches. ☆ 18+ minors dni |☀︎fluff | ♕smut | ♥︎ completed Word Count: 2550 words

Pairing(s): Chwe Hansol x Female Reader | Choi Seungcheol x Female Reader | Yoon Jeonghan x Female Reader | Kim Mingyu x Female Reader | Boo Seungkwan x Female Reader Genre/Trope(s)/AU(s): PWP, Smut. Content Warnings: Y/N is Vernon’s ex, and they ended on good terms, but the others are nosy. A few snappy comments, but nothing too toxic or emasculating. Mentions of alcohol. Seungkwan is a flirty lil’ shit. Vernon likes watching.

Smut Warnings: Dom!Cheol, Dom!Mingyu, Dom!Jeonghan, Dom!Seungkwan. Unprotected sex (please don’t do this irl). Overstimulation, double penetration, breast & nipple play. Oral (m & f receiving), face riding, squirting. Mentions of public sex. Pet names (good boy, baby boy, pretty girl), praise kink. Pussy slapping. Cum play. Biting, it’s mild. Voyeur Vernon. Handjobs, cum swallowing. Sir kink. Name-calling (whore). Authors Note 1: This is a fic I wrote for my lovely soul mate @here4btsfics. I'm so glad to have you in my life, my love, you make every day brighter and happier. Thank you for being born, and thank you for letting me celebrate with you too 💕 Authors Note 2: Thank you so much to @duhnova & @the-boy-meets-evil for helping me beta this horny mess, and yelling at me (affectionately) for writing this!! 💕💕💕💕 Banner Credits: @classicscreations Cross Posted to AO3 © wongyuseokie 2023. All rights reserved.

“Is this okay?” Your ex-boyfriend, Vernon, asked as he poured you a glass of wine. You had invited him and his friends–well, they were your friends, but they were his friends first–over to your apartment because it had been a while since you all caught up.

It had been six months since the breakup and six months since you last saw the others.

“Yeah? We ended on good terms, and it’s not awkward, not for me. What about you?” You asked.

“No, I’m glad we were mature about it.”

“Me too,” Vernon agreed.

“YOOOOO! Open the door, love birds!” You heard someone yell outside your front door and exchanged a look with Vernon.

“Jeonghan,” you both mumbled at the same time. You cracked a grin before heading to your door to let the dramatic man in.

“Hello gorgeous,” Jeonghan greeted, stepping into your apartment and engulfing you in a tight embrace.

“Hello, handsome,” you greeted back, your voice muffled by his toned chest.

“Ahem?” You heard Vernon interject.

“Oh, quit it. We had to deal with this shit when you two were together,” Jeonghan dismissed, making you and Vernon crack a smile.

“Now shall we drink? The others might be late,” Jeonghan offered, and you nodded.

“Sure, let’s get drunk,” you joked.

“God, I’ve missed this,” Jeonghan said, sipping his wine.

“What, drinking?” You joked, and Jeonghan glared at you.

“No, smartass, I meant it’s nice drinking just the adults,” Jeonghan retorted, making you laugh.

“And you’re an adult?” You teased, making Jeonghan glare at you.

“I swear you and Mingyu are the same age, though, mentally at least,” Jeonghan mumbled, making you laugh.

“Shut up. He could never do the wonders that my tongue does,” Jeonghan said, making you bite your lip as you tried to imagine it.

“Uh, too much information, Hyung,” Vernon mumbled. He didn’t mind the conversation, but the idea of you being orally pleasured made his pants tighten, especially if he could be a fly on the wall when it happened.

“Meh, Y/N? Do you mind?” Jeonghan teased, and you just kept sipping your wine.

“Ah, speechless, I like that,” Jeonghan teased, and you were about to scowl at him when the front door opened to reveal Seungkwan, Seungcheol, and Mingyu entering your apartment.

“Sorry, we’re late, Y/N. We were working on a new track,” Seungkwan explained while you got up from the sofa to greet him, and he welcomed you into a hug, his large arms wrapping around you.

“That’s okay. Can I at least get a sneak peek?” You asked, batting your eyelashes at him, and Seungkwan laughed.

“Pretty girl, if you think I haven’t figured out your ways yet, you’re insane. No, you do not get a teaser,” Seungkwan said, and you pouted and got out of his arms to hug Seungcheol and Mingyu.

Mingyu, energetic as always, practically carried you into his arms.

“Gyu!” You squealed as Mingyu kept your feet off the ground.

“I’ve missed you, pretty girl. How have you been?” Mingyu asked, earning a smile from you.

“I’m good, wait. You’ve missed me?” You asked, and Mingyu nodded.

“Yup, well, not just me,” Mingyu said, making you giggle.

“Alright, are y’all done babbling?” Jeonghan interjected. “Can we drink?” He asked, huffing, and you smiled, nodding.

A couple of hours passed, and most of you were at least three drinks in. The room became warmer, your lips became looser, and your thoughts became wilder.

“So why’d you two break up?” Mingyu blurted out, making Vernon choke on his drink.

“I guess we just decided we were better off as friends?” You suggested, unsure how to say, ‘we just fizzled out.’

“Yeah. No bad blood. She’s a sweetheart,” Vernon agreed.

“Mhm, she does smell sweet too,” Jeonghan slurred slightly as he leaned into your side.

“It’s my new perfume,” you answered.

“Possibly, but I’m sure you would also taste very sweet,” Jeonghan flirted, making you grin.

“That’s very true. You taste sweet,” Seungkwan agreed, and you stared at him.

“How on earth would you know?” You asked, and Seungkwan grinned and turned to face your ex-boyfriend, who was turning beet red.

“God, Y/N tastes so sweet, I could bury my tongue inside her and die a happy man,” Seungkwan mocked in a voice meant to sound like Vernon.

You gasped at Seungkwan’s words, which you guess were Vernon’s.

“Vernon?” You asked.

“Babe. I’m sorry. I thought this dude understood bro code,” Vernon mumbled, shooting Seungkwan a glare.

“So, bad sex wasn’t the issue?” Seungcheol asked suddenly.

“God no, the sex was amazing,” you admitted, the alcohol dissolving your filter.

“What was a dirty secret of Vernon’s, one he won’t tell us?” Mingyu asked, wiggling his brows at you.

“You guys are evil, and I’m not telling,” you replied, making Mingyu pout.

“So, how good did she taste?” Mingyu asked, and you choked on your drink, and you were sure if they kept asking such questions, you’d end up choking on your drink all night long.

“Sweet, like candy,” Vernon slurred, and you were tempted to throw something at your ex-boyfriend’s face to shut him up, but you’d be lying if you said the compliment didn’t flatter you.

“Can I find out?” Mingyu asked, and all you could do was gawk at him and look at your ex-boyfriend, hoping Mingyu’s words wouldn’t start a fight.

Instead, Vernon gave a lazy smile and leaned back in his seat.

“Why don’t you ask her? I’m sure she’ll be happy to let you taste,” Vernon teased, and you snapped your legs shut, pressing your thighs together to get some relief.

“Y/N? Can I taste you? I promise I’ll be good,” Mingyu said sincerely, his eyes hopeful and his gaze sinful.

“Uh, I don’t see why not?” You offered slowly.

“On one condition,” Vernon spoke.

“Which is?” Mingyu asked.

“I want to see,” Vernon said, and you gulped.

“Shit, I think we found Vernon’s hidden kink. He’s a little vouyer,” Mingyu teased.

“And you want to lick my ex’s pussy. Shall we get into your issues?” Vernon fired back, and Mingyu pouted and shook his head.

“Y/N,” Vernon started to say, and you looked up at him.

“Yes?”

“Go over to Hyung, and give him a taste,” Vernon instructed, his voice smooth and husky. You nodded, downing your drink and got up, moved over to where Mingyu was sitting and placed yourself onto his lap.

Mingyu reacted quicker, pulling you off his lap, placing you on the sofa, and making you yelp in the process as he got onto his knees.

Mingyu smirked at you as he pulled your sweats and underwear off. You were already letting out a soft whimper, and Mingyu had barely touched you.

“Pretty little pussy,” Mingyu praised, his hot breath on your cunt.

“Gyu, please do something,” you begged, and a sharp slap to your cunt stopped your whimpers.

“I’m not Gyu; I’m your Sir. Don’t fuck with me, princess, or you won’t cum,” Mingyu threatened, and you shook your head furiously, and you heard the faint groans of the other men in the room,

“Can you multitask, pretty princess?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded.

“Good girl. Make Seungcheol Hyung cum, and I��ll make you cum,” Mingyu said, and you let out a soft moan before turning your head to see Seungcheol.

Seungcheol was sitting next to you, and you turned your body, so your head was in his lap. You palmed his length, making him moan, and kept palming him until he hardened under your touch.

You pulled his cock out of his grey sweats. You wrapped your mouth around his thick length, moaning as you tasted his arousal, and used your tongue to lap at it.

“Princess, do you like sucking on Seungcheol Hyung’s cock?” Mingyu asked, and you whimpered, moaning around Seungcheol ’s cock, making Seungcheol grip your hair tighter as he thrust his cock further into your mouth, hissing as he did so.

“Good girl,” Mingyu praised and finally placed his tongue on your cunt. Mingyu licked your pussy with short licks until his tongue finally reached your clit. You moaned more around Seungcheol’s cock, as Mingyu slid two long fingers into your cunt, while his tongue flicked your clit.

You whimpered, trying to move your mouth away from Seungcheol ’s cock to moan, and Mingyu noticed, moving his mouth away immediately.

“Until he cums down your greedy little throat, you do not move, understood?” Mingyu warned, making you whimper.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Mingyu said with a proud smirk.

You groaned and resumed your actions on Seungcheol’s cock, while Mingyu kept fingering you all while sucking on your clit with his tongue.

“Make her cum Gyu, and cum inside her. I want to lick your cum out of her,” Seungcheol said breathlessly, making Mingyu grunt as he nodded, moving his mouth away from your cunt.

“Fuck you are so sweet, princess. You need to ride my face sometime,” Mingyu said, making you shudder at the thought.

You kept bobbing your head up and down Seungcheol ’s cock, until he stilled and came down your throat, a string of curse words leaving Seungcheol ’s lips as he came.

“Good?” You asked Seungcheol, removing your mouth from his cock. Seungcheol nodded lazily, smiling fondly at you.

“Amazing,” Seungcheol complimented, making you smile.

Mingyu moved his mouth away from your cunt to pull you into a soft kiss.

You yelped suddenly when Mingyu grabbed your waist and flipped you onto your hands and knees. You felt him push his length into you. Mingyu’s thick length was a lot longer, which allowed his cock to hit deep inside you.

“Vernon!” You gasped, suddenly realising that he was in the room, along with Jeonghan and Seungkwan, but your worries faded when you saw Vernon’s hand palming his clothed erection and a smirk, letting you know it was okay to continue.

“Fucking hell. You’re perfect, baby,” Mingyu praised as you moaned as you fell forward as he constantly pounded his cock into you, hitting all the right spots inside you.

“More”, you begged, and a sharp slap to your ass silenced you as Mingyu grabbed your hair, yanking you up, your back pressed against his chest.

“I set the pace, pretty girl. You’re just my little whore,” Mingyu warned, making you whimper.

“Sorry, Sir,” you mumbled, and Mingyu groaned in approval, pounding senselessly into you.

“Good girl,” Mingyu praised, finally pushing you over the edge and making you cum. You felt someone’s tongue on your pussy, making you wail in pleasure, as you looked down to see Seungcheol sucking on your clit.

Mingyu came soon after your release, groaning as he pulled out of you. Mingyu placed a kiss on your cheek and helped to position you on your back.

“Good?” Mingyu asked, and you moaned out a ‘yes,’ followed by a yelp when you felt Seungcheol resume his assault on your cunt.

Seungcheol started to lick your clit, moving his tongue inside your cunt to lick Mingyu’s cum out of you, making you shiver as you came again. Seungcheol gave your pussy a final kiss and pulled away, smirking at your ex-boyfriend, who was sitting in the corner of the room, his hand now under his jeans, cupping his hardened length.

You felt yourself being woken up from your dream-like state when Seungkwan picked you up in his arms. Seungkwan carried you over and placed you down slowly onto Jeonghan ’s cock. You let out a hiss, already sensitive from your multiple orgasms.

“God, you’re tight, and Mingyu, where are your manners? Not letting your Hyungs have a turn first?” Jeonghan asked, and you giggled.

“Sorry, Hyung, but you know you can’t last that long, so if you went now, you’d be out,” Mingyu teased, making Jeonghan glare at the tall man.

“If this kitten weren’t soaking my cock right now, you’d be a dead man,” Jeonghan threatened, and Mingyu shrugged.

Jeonghan sighed, ignoring Mingyu and instead wrapped his hands around your waist, holding you still and placing a soft kiss on your lips. You weren’t sure when Seungkwan sat down next to you, but you whimpered when you felt his long fingers on your clit.

“Fucking hell,” you moaned, falling into Jeonghan ’s toned chest.

“Pretty girl, I’m going to fuck you along with Hyung. Will you let me?” Seungkwan asked, his hot breath on your neck, and you let out a muffled gasp before answering.

“Yes,” you breathed out, and Seungkwan groaned, feeling his cock twitch, and he couldn't move quickly enough.

“Hyung, can you lay down? I want to see if she can take both of us in one go?” Seungkwan asked, and Jeonghan groaned and nodded as he laid down on the couch carefully to never pull out of your tight cunt.

“Good god,” Seungkwan groaned as he knelt between Jeonghan’s legs and positioned himself at your entrance, and pushed his thick cock in, resting it against Jeonghan’s. You moaned, found Jeonghan’s lips, and kissed him, gently biting and tugging his full lips, begging for more.

Both men groaned, feeling how tight you were, hissing as their cocks rubbed against one another. Jeonghan started to thrust first, and Seungkwan followed after.

Both men were close, and Seungkwan knew this and moved his hands down to massage Jeonghan ’s balls, making him whine and buck into you harder, causing you to collapse onto his chest as you came, making them both groan as you tightened around their cocks.

You felt Seungkwan yank you into his embrace; your back pressed into his chest.

“None of us are quite done with you, baby,” Seungkwan said, and you nodded lazily. You were pretty sure your limbs would be out of commission, but you didn’t care because the pleasure was overwhelmingly good.

You turned your head to see Mingyu standing by your side and Seungcheol on the other, and you shakily reached to take Mingyu into your mouth while your hand stroked Seungcheol.

The room was soon filled with sinful noises, groans, whines and whimpers.

You screamed as you came again. This time after Jeonghan came inside you first, Seungkwan hissed, soon releasing in you as well. Both men continued to stay inside you while you moaned around Mingyu’s cock as his grip on your hair got tighter until he finally came, and you greedily swallowed his release.

You moved your mouth off Mingyu’s cock and turned all your attention to Seungcheol and replaced your hand with your mouth, and sucked him until he, too, came down your throat.

Mingyu and Seungcheol lay back on the sofa while Seungkwan and Jeonghan pulled out of you slowly while you laid back on the couch and were about to relax and recover.

Jeonghan, however, had other plans and suddenly shoved three fingers into your cunt, while Seungkwan rubbed your clit, making you squirt and writhe as you came undone again.

You shook, gasping as you curled into Jeonghan’s chest, who placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

“So, round two?” Jeonghan joked, earning a glare from you.

“I’m not opposed to it. Mind if I join the next time, kitten?” Vernon asked, his voice husky and low, and you gulped, nodding.

“Mhm, please do.”

#seventeen #seventeen fanfic #svthub #thekpopuniverse #indigo writes: scoups #indigo writes: mingyu #indigo writes: jeonghan #indigo writes: seungkwan #kvanity #seventeen smut #indigo writes: vernon

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theres-an-endless-starry-sky · 8 months

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⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ Hello there! ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅

My name is Jamie, I am the creator of 4 updating unfinished fics and do weekly one-shots! You can request a one-shot idea in my asks!

(See end of post for boundaries for requests!)

SOME FACTS ABOUT ME╰┈➤

I work as a barista/custom service/sometimes kitchen (????), I can tell you exactly what coffee to get if you tell me how much sleep you've had and how much you like sugar (feel free to send an ask!) I do 8am shifts usually and I want to die- I have weird online hours, apparently I'm never not online- Its become concerning... I'm either a James Potter or a Sirius/Regulus Black according to my mutuals/discord friends (Y'all need to make up your minds!! Let me know what you think-)

Any pronouns folks! Mix them up! Play games with them! I do prefer masc terms used for me but I identify as Gender Queer.

Flirty/joking/bullying/trolling/insults are okay as long as I know you and we've messaged before AND we're mutuals :D

MY Ao3 ACCOUNT - best fics MY AO3 ACCOUNT - random self indulgent shit TAG LIST FOR FICS (including links to all fics) The price of shiny secrets (I’m drunk in the back of the car) ONGOING 5.5k 1/3 Jegulus (chapter 2 draft 1 complete chapter 3 fully planned)

The history book on the shelf ONGOING 5.8k 2/? Jegulus long fic

Who’s taller poll series - on hold

One shot requests list - to see when I’m doing yours :)

Don’t really believe in complicated DNI’s as no one checks them unless they’re mutuals ig just don’t be a dick?

My tags:

#10/10 <- really cool posts I love

#jamie irl <- irl stuff

#you need not apply fics OR #jamies fics <- my fics

#jamies quotes <- quotes I’ve written or my fanfic quotes ect

Mutuals tags;

@moon-0f-saturn -> cally

@awokenbydreams / @canonically-dorcas-wife -> Dorcas wife

@stardustlixie -> lixie

@vecreates -> ve space @savagesyeah -> Bri

@beautyoftheships -> theships

Imma say it series where I say my opinions and y’all tell me if they’re shit

Facts about the stars where I make you cry over the black family names One Shot Requests I have 3 rules for requests, these are none negotiable: 1- NO INCEST 2- No underage/problematic age gap ships (like Snape x Harry, Sirius x Hermione) 3- Limited NSFW (see below)

Limited NSFW (I can't believe I'm typing this)

Getting this out now; I DON'T WRITE PWP, HARDCORE SMUT ectect, I write hinting towards, maybe some thoughts, touches and talks but not explicit smut. I care more about the plot then the smut.

#marauders fic #mauraders #wolfstar #harry potter marauders #jegulus fic #regulus arcturus black #remus lupin #sirius black #james fleamont potter #the marauders era #marauders #marauders era #marauders fandom #marauders fanfiction #marauders headcanon #the marauders

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nemmet · 7 months

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ok ok ok i know you def headcanon fred autistic too (besides mystery inc which is canon lol) so you were the first person i could think to say this to after reading your posts sooo

i bet !!!! he was autistic coded the whole time and the creators themselves just did not know what they were doing!!!

before autism had a name and well known rep and stuff, before people really knew what it was, higher functioning autistics were just “quirky” or whatever. and say, if you were making a tv show or book, you wanted to take inspiration from real life. and you gave one of your characters traits you’d seen in those quirky individuals. you didn’t know what it was nor did anyone else, it was just a personality trait you gave them based off of what you’d observed !

neither the creator nor viewers would know that person was autistic. it was just mimicking traits you’d seen irl. and that’s why i strongly believe fred is autistic coded whether they planned it or not, even — almost especially — in a time where autism wasn’t well known !!!! that’s an argument given a lot from what i’ve seen, that an old cartoon wouldn’t purposely have an autistic character. but they would and they have. they just don’t know that’s what it’s called. it’s just a part of life, which people forget. buddy’s just undiagnosed lol /hj

autism is everywhere mwahaha >:)

anyways sorry for rant and quite possibly stating the obvious 😭😭

the way my face lit up when i saw this in my inbox!!! always so happy to talk about autistic fred :)

autistic coding absolutely happens in cases where the writer doesn't intend it, and early versions of fred very well could be one!! a lot of his "quirky" moments in the older shows come from the odd scene where he does something so bizarre and spontaneous that it flips his well-put-together exterior on its head, like running down the joker & penguin in a rolling tire. this source of comedy from his character very much continues into his later incarnations, just in a way that seems more thoughtful/purposeful. like, at first glance he seems to be a very average, simple, good-looking boy!! but then he opens his mouth and he's a lame grandpa who will tell you about the history of nets regardless of whether or not you're listening, and impulsively start cheerleading routines to raise his friends' spirits.

and all of that just feels like such an autism thing, or at least one i can relate my own personality and experiences to. i love the idea that the writers of pre-mystery inc versions of fred may have taken character inspiration from similarly undiagnosed or unrecognised neurodivergent people in a time when those traits were merely considered "quirkiness". the idea that he's undiagnosed up until mystery inc is so canon to me now.

and to top it all off, yeah fred can be the butt of the joke sometimes, but he's still always a character we feel endeared to and want to root for! his strengths are unconventional and concentrated in specific areas, but he's highly competent and caring while also feeling human in his moments of awkwardness and insecurity!! and that's why i think he's such a great autistic character in both coding and canon, and why it makes me happy to see people celebrate this about him.

your ask was such a lovely thing to read and respond to, thank you! and thank you if you're still here and have read nem's ramble number 1000000 about autistic fred. goodnight coolsville ohio

#it's so wild how you can be feeling really stressed and out of it #but then you talk about your special interests for four paragraphs and it's like peace and love on the planet earth my crops are thriving #thank you again krash!!#scooby doo #fred jones #nem askbox :D

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bright-eyed · 3 months

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Long af extremely personal post lol hi

Ok so like last week I said the IT guy in our department was hot and had nice arms and we had a weirdly intense conversation when he first moved in but since that a couple of my friends have been trying to get us together and calling him “my man” which like whatever, it’s funny, I don’t think anything will come of it, but they did it today in front of the girl I actually like who I was convinced would never like me because her straight guy best friend seems to like me, and she asked me about IT guy and I said it wasn’t a real thing and she said “I’m gonna romance you away from him” or something (and I was like “please do” *immediate gay panic* “I mean, help me cuz I’m being delusional”) so does that mean she likes me… and also I think maybe her best friend is just a weirdly nice guy and doesn’t actually like me in a romantic way, I was just scared that he might because that would be tragic perfection. Anyway. Does she like me??? I feel like she wasn’t being serious but I want her to be serious. Last time I thought someone wasn’t being serious it backfired but it could be different this time. Also speaking of that backfired situation the girl who asked me out last semester who graduated came to visit her friends and an old professor for a movie she’s doing or something and she and her friends literally wouldn’t even look at me or say hi to me even after I said hi when we were stuck waiting for an elevator and it made me feel like shit because the only thing I did was say no to her when she asked me out and I thought we were actually friends. And I realized later that the whole of last semester they had been orchestrating situations for us to hang out and hold hands and be in cars alone together and they would make jokes about us dating or her being my type (not that they ever asked what my type was) and obviously I’m only realizing this after because I had no idea she liked me but it’s just so humiliating. And to think that I thought these people were actually trying to be my friend, they literally said over and over that they wanted to be friends and that they liked me and thought I was cool, but no one even bothered to ask me how I felt or talk to me after everything happened. It’s just so horrible and it makes me feel angry and also embarrassed and guilty. And part of me is like I could never date the girl I actually like because the other girl might think that it’s a reflection of her/me saying she wasn’t good enough for me but other people are, which is literally not true I still think she’s one of the most intelligent and interesting people I’ve ever met, I just wasn’t attracted to her in that way, even though objectively speaking she’s attractive and that’s one of the first things I noticed about her before I knew her. With my current crush it’s like not even what she looks like though she’s also very pretty but it’s like I hate when she leaves the room. And I love talking to her and the way she talks like she’s smiling all the time. And she’s tall and sweet and has long eyelashes and really looks at me when I talk. It’s not that one of them is better or worse it’s just this pull that I can’t explain logically.

But part of me feels guilty for not being able to force myself to like the “right” person because what right did I have to turn down someone so great. And that probably stems from me having a habit of ignoring my own feelings and trying to force myself to do what other people want ever since I was in a situation with a girl 5 years ago who basically manipulated me into having sex with her even after I told her I didn’t want to be with someone who had a boyfriend and said no multiple times and honestly I wasn’t even all that attracted to her, I just pushed those feelings of wrongness away as it was happening because I knew if I didn’t give in she would stop being my friend and she was my only irl friend at the time (which is what ended up happening, which contributed to me dropping out of school last time). I know I should just allow myself to feel what I feel without trying to contort those feelings to suit everyone else but it’s extremely hard for me to actually feel what I feel and recognize it in my body let alone validate it or act on it. Anyway. Sorry for the lore drop lol it’s something I’ve had to reface with all of this so it’s just been coming up more lately but it’s fine I feel like I’ve mostly dealt with what actually happened now I’m just dealing with unexpected repercussions of it. Also sorry this is unreadable I’m sort of betting on no one actually reading it which gives me the courage to actually post it

#kennapost

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eternalglitch · 2 years

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Hi there! First of all, I’m not kidding when I say lfls is one of the best stories I’ve had the pleasure to read in a looong time and I can’t thank you enough for sharing such a wonderfully written story :D

When I started reading the fic it had about 5k kudos and not many chapters were plagued with comments. Now there’s like more than a hundred comments in the latest chapters with 10k kudos and still growing. How does that feel? Does it get overwhelming? What kept you motivated when the numbers weren’t as high? I’m so curious to know how the growth in popularity has been on your part!

I’m also loving the lfls playlist. Have you heard Karma by AJR? Idk why but I feel like it goes really well with the story.

Hoping you’re having a great time in your day to day and once again thanks for sharing your work!

youtube

The numbers and statistics on every single one of my social media accounts don't feel real to me, I will be honest.

In 2017 I had another decently big fic (or so I thought), and I was (positively) overwhelmed by waking up to about 24 new comments the next morning when I posted a chapter and that was about it for that chapter's comment count. Now I get maybe 50 within the hour of posting and about ten new ones every day.

I think the first three months of writing lfls I had no concept of anyone really watching. Chapter two got maybe two comments within the week it was posted, but I was also studying abroad at the time and had plenty of things irl to keep myself busy with over in Singapore.

I never had an issue by the (lack of) numbers in the start, because I thought the fandom was too small in the first place to get numbers. I was just writing this for myself. In a fun reversal, sometimes it's harder to write with the bigger following because of stage fright for me. What if I make the wrong call on a plot twist? What if I leave an embarrassing typo that thousands of people will now see? These weren't issues when it felt like no one was watching. But if I get stuck in that mindset for too long, I simply vanish for a break. Make like Avatar Aang and go hibernate for, say, 6 months away from my fic. I've done it before, long enough that I forgot that there was anything to really be nervous about. That was back when this first started really snowballing in attention though, and I think I've grown a bit more used to it all.

Still, my friends make fun of me because my brain can't fully understand just HOW MANY people follow me. It feels like I have 50 followers, when this is not the reality. As a fanfic writer surrounded by very talented artist friends my entire life, I had grown used to the idea that on social media I would never really get a following and would just cheer my friends on for that. The usual script is that the artists get more attention on Tumblr and Twitter, and the writers get their time to shine on ao3 or fanfic.net, but not elsewhere. And I was totally okay with that! I am always very happy for my friends' success. Visual art gets consumed faster and is quicker to draw attention and that's that. But then suddenly this was not the case AT ALL for me. I made it as one of the exceptions. It's really nice to have this weird power to boost other people on social media and get their work seen and recognized in turn.

Because of this popularity, I'm also exposed to a lot more opinions about my work because usually people only find and talk about the fanfic that meets what they are looking for. Now that lfls has fully escaped containment and is in most Rise fandom areas, people that do not seek out or read angst are trying angst. My condolences to those poor souls, I would say my writing is not actually that dark to people that enjoy these tropes but it sure is quite the shocker (lol) if you're new to the scene. Or maybe I'm just terrible at judging how dark I write, I genuinely think some chapters are breathers and yet have seen jokes online that those are some of the most emotionally heart wrenching ones.

But yeah, getting fanart and comments every single day is SO GOOD for keeping up enthusiasm for a long fic. I dread the final chapter a little because it's been an awesome ride that I don't want to end. Excited to show everyone the rest of the fic too, though! And maybe some people will stick around for my next writing adventure.

I think the real crisis is I'm about to maybe even OVERTAKE in kudos one of the fics I really look up to and have aspired to write in that kind of quality for the past 6 years. Which sounds fake. That is FAKE, I haven't gotten my skills sharp enough to do that yet.

And yes I do know that song!! I can definitely see it for lfls. I found it with a Steven Universe amv a few years back.

Thank you for reading and enjoying my work in turn! :}

#glitch answers #and it feels full of it to talk about tbh AHAGJDKG #just know I am very greatful to everyone that helped get me here and still stunned so many people are willing to spend time on lfls art

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sxtaep · 1 year

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You only got horny once? That means that you're purer and better than most of us here 😭😭😭😭😭😭. What did tht guy do to ruin you? 👀

THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING BUT WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE NEED SOME TMI AROUND HERE 😭😭😭

it’s probably nothing serious and petty to some of you BUT THIS FUCKED ME UP DIFFERENTLY 😭

get ready for a long, boring story time guys

tw: jahanara being fucking stupid

ok i’ve mentioned this guy before, but let’s call him X for this storyline 😭

so, me and X have known each other since we were 11, we went to the same secondary school and ended up going to the same college. we weren’t close in secondary school, he was just a classmate and a mutual friend and that was it really.

going round to september 2020 when college started, that’s when we found out that we went to the same college and a lot of our mutual friends also joined us there so that’s when we started getting close along with our other friends.

it all started with a game of among us and then a server on discord where we used to play and talk everyday 😭 it was really fun and i guess that stemmed my liking towards him?

he was so nice and funny and he’d always be nicer to me compared to everyone else in our friend group and that just threw me totally off-guard.

in college when we’d meet up before/after our classes, we’d be with the rest of our friends just chilling and stuff or we’d be walking home together talking about the most random things (mostly aot).

now now, everyone in our friend group knew that i used to write smut and ffs and stuff so they’d always tease me about it, but he in particular would ask me questions like “how do you come up with this stuff?” “are you even into any of the things you write?” and i’m guessing he used that against me later on, you’ll see.

i think around December 2020 was when i became absolutely certain that i had a crush on him and IT WAS KILLING MEEE and it was the night of my birthday, i was talking to my close friends and i told them i was gonna confess just to get it off my chest and they were very onboard and supportive about it, so i messaged him.

surprisingly, he was very nice and normal about it which was weird because he’s the most unemotional person in the world 😭 but yeah, he said he appreciates it but he wasn’t looking for a relationship or anything and he’s more focused on his studies and i reassured him like “oh, i’m not looking for a relationship either, i’m just telling you to get it out of the way.”

like genuinely, i didn’t want a relationship, YOU GUYS KNOW ME 💀😭 but yeah, and he goes “you deserve someone a lot better than me anyway,” which made me go ??? wow really?

we ended the conversation on a good note and basically got on with our lives as normal.

two weeks go by and suddenly he’s being so distant towards me?? he was actively speaking on the groupchats we were in and taking to other people but whenever i tried to speak to him ON THE GROUP CHAT, he’d just ignore me and i was thinking ????? ok then, what did i do to him?

it got quite bad to the point where he’d just be openly rude to me and making unsolicited jokes towards me (and other people) so we were all like what the hell???

he also VERY SPECIFICALLY SAID “jahanara is not funny” which tbh idrc about bc a lot of my irls say i’m the least funniest in the group 😭 but my mates were still there to defend me like their lives depend on it (love them fr 😭) and then he goes again, “jahanara is not funny. at all.” IM LIKE DAMN DUDE WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?

of course i ignored it and didn’t say anything because i HATE confrontation so i just left it.

X was close with my friend L, so she asked him why he was being so rude and distant to me and he goes “i didn’t want jahanara liking me because i knew she would end up hurt, so i made it seem like i’m a dickhead,” AND HE THOUGHT IT WAS SUCH A GOOD IDEA 💀💀💀 it was not.

around february 2021, i was getting very very excited for the grammys because i thought bts would win and so i put a poll on my snapchat story that said ‘if bts win a grammy, i will _____’

that gained a lot of traction and people were sending crazy suggestions and one of my close friends was like “you should masturbate” AND I WAS LIKE GIRL???? ARE YOU FR???

and she was dead serious SO AS A JOKE, i added that onto the poll and everyone voted for that option because everyone saw me as the overtly horny virgin for bts that has never touched herself before because she’s scared 😭😭

i think a day before the grammys, everyone on the groupchat was talking about it, even the non-armys in our friend group were so invested in me doing this if bts won 😭 and they were all giving me tips and stuff and suddenly X goes “message me when you do it.”

i didn’t think much of it because my best friend also told me to message her when i do it which was so embarrassing 💀😭

so the grammys start, it’s about 2am march 15th 2020, and i’m sitting there waiting for them to announce who on, and of course, bts lost. i was bummed that they didn’t win but i thought fuck it, let me just do it once and get it over with because im an adult, how have i not done it before?

i send a snap of myself with a thumbs up to my best friend and X and i was like “wish me luck guys” and i was shitting bricks 😭

obviously i didn’t know what to do or how to start, but X responded to my snap straight away and he asked me if i knew what to do and i said no 💀 and i guess he kind of… got me started????

this is so embarrassing but he did actually help me get in the mood, he texted me a bit, yk just telling me how to get started AND I DONT KNOW WHAT CAME OVER MY HEAD BUT I SENT HIM NUDES 😭😭😭😭 LIKE NOT FULL ON FRONTAL NUDES, JUST LIKE…. A TITTY PIC OR TWO. OR THREE (bare in mind, i genuinely thought he was helping me because he liked me back 3 months after i confessed).

like seriously, idk what possessed me to send him nudes, i think i was very h word and gripped onto the fact that he may have actually had feelings for me 😭

he screenshot all of them and he was feeding me with so many compliments and praise and yk pulling the whole “pretty girl” “good girl” thing and that really got me going 😭

OH AND THEN HE PHONED MEEEE AND HE GUIDING ME THROUGH THE PHONEEEE AND THAT DID IT FOR ME that was the first time i actually felt very GENUINELY turned on, LIKE I WAS ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR, THIGHS LITERALLY SHAKINGGGGG AND THROBBING AND I WAS SHOCKED BECAUSE IS THIS HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO FEEL??????

he was also… getting off too, i heard it all so that also blinded me into thinking he had feelings for me too 💀💀💀

he was doing the whole “if i was with you rn, i’d treat you so good” blah blah blah yk? the usual stuff, and i’m pretty sure we were at it for a good 40 minutes before wrapping up because i genuinely couldn’t finish and i hear a lot of women don’t finish often so i figured it was normal.

we said goodnight to each other and ended the call and the next day he sends a message on the groupchat and he goes “how was it, jahanara?” and i didn’t know what to say so i just went “yep, good. very good.” like we were playing this 'lets keep this between ourselves'.

i fully thought he liked me back after that night 😭 bro i was so blind 💀

i ended up telling my best friend because she has no other friends fr she’s my ride or die, so i just told her and the keeping it a secret thing didn’t last because one of X’s friends messaged me asking about it and i was like ….. how do you know?

turned out, X told his friend about it WHICH IMMEDIATELY GOT ME THINKING, OH NO WHAT IF HE SHOWED THE PICS I SENT??? so i messaged him asking him to delete them and he did, with proof, thank god .

everyone ended up finding out about what happened that night so everytime it was mentioned, it was just so awkward between us.

this all happened during the december-march 2021 lockdown we had and the lockdown ended on the 17th so i saw him that day it was so awkward being around him after that, i just knew things would never be the same.

i’d say around may, he started gaining an interest in one of my friends (a very close online friend) let’s call her D after i posted a photo of her on my story.

he kept asking questions about whether she had a boyfriend and stuff and me being me, completely impartial, i told him no, she doesn’t have a boyfriend, and then he wanted to add her on snap so i gave it to him.

i checked in with my friend D and she said she was fine being added by him and she had absolutely no interest in him the way he did AND she knew i liked him so she was never going to pursue anything anyway.

she added him back and X was trying to flirt with her and D thought it was the most embarrassing thing ever trying so hard to win her over.

he spent a good couple weeks chatting her up and begging for photos (nudes, duh) and she didn’t give them so he kind stopped with all the messages.

i knew everything because D was telling me what he was doing and i thought… God wtf? is this who i really like?

a lot of our friends found out about it and confronted him going “why would you go after jahanara’s friend begging for nudes when you know she still likes you?” and he got so much shit for it he took it out on me, again, being rude and making insensitive comments about everything and from there everything just fizzled.

i removed him everywhere, snapchat, instagram, his number, discord etc etc and he did the same apparently i couldn’t care less.

he became this guy that was so hard to talk to without getting attacked for no reason and he started spewing all this shit about what happened on grammys night, and just talking so much bs but me being me, i didn’t say anything about it or confront him about it so i just left it and let everyone else say what they wanted.

throughout 2021/22 everything died down, the groupchat became less active, people were talking a lot less, X was still bitching around me and being rude but whatever. everyone started uni so the groupchat actually died out so now interactions are very scarce.

this whole story pretty much stemmed my dislike towards males and relationships and sexual encounters. i haven’t even ATTEMPTED to be intimiate with myself since march 2020 because i’m always gonna be reminded of him and what he did, telling all his mates about it and what-not.

can’t even bring myself to wear the same pyjamas i wore that night because it makes me feel icky ☹️

but ye, that’s the story in balamory 😁 hope you guys enjoyed 😁👍

bared my titties for someone that wasn’t bangtan, i can’t believe it

#finally out in the open #it’s ok to laugh guys #i also laugh at my stupidity #random #storytime

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jaegerisim · 9 months

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Hey El! I was just wondering, are you out to people in ur life irl (like ur parents, friends, ect)? If so, what was your process of coming out to them, and how did you deal with people who were a little homophobic or even a lot? If not, do you ever think you will, and why? I’ve been in the closet irl for almost a year and a half now because of homophobic parents, so I’d really like to hear ur story 🙂

Hi nonny! Well, I’ve officially come out to my mom, my brothers, my bff, my fiancé and a couple of other close friends. They know I’m bi, but they don’t know I’m a demigirl, and honestly, they never will. I don’t feel comfortable telling them that, tbh. I don’t rlly fancy the idea of me telling them that, especially when the concept of “gender” is something pretty difficult for many Asians to grasp (at least in my experience, don’t come at me, ok? 😭😭😭😭😭)

ok so I came out to my mom one day when I was still a teen. We were talking about one of my closest friends, at the time, my mom told me the girl had very pretty eyes and I went on this ramble about all the beautiful things things the girl had. My mom was just kinda staring at me like “😯”. So I just straight up went and said “Mom, I like girls as well as boys. I’m bisexual” and my mom (who I knew wouldn’t be homophobic abt it) said “cool, now go clean the dishes! 🥰 or ur lazy ass gonna get whooped” (typical Asian mom, smh). I never told my dad cuz his family is much more conservative and my halmeoni from his side think “gay” is synonymous to “mental illness”. I think my dad kinda guessed it, he’s never said anything about it, tho. My older brother came out as pan a few years before me, when he introduced his bf. Then a few years after me, my twin came out as aroace. They preferred to come out to my dad and I preferred my mom. That’s just how shit is. U tell who u wanna tell, and if ur parents are homophobic then they can go fuck themselves tbh. u can tell whoever u want to ok, nonny? And despite what the str8 media tells u about ur parents needing to be the first to know, it doesn’t have to be like that if u don’t want to. Your friends can be the first to know and ur parents could be the last. Your parents don’t even have to know if u don’t want to.

I came out to my friends and while all of them weren’t homophobic to my face or in that moment, many of them showed their true colors with time.

When you come out, you never really know how they’re gonna react. So you gotta learn to not gaf abt their say on this bc they don’t get one. Plus, at the end of the day, this is about u not them, don’t let them twist you’re coming out into something about them. You don’t have to even tell them and if u do tell them, u r doing it for u, not them. You don’t own anyone anything.

If you wanna know, I‘ve never really learned how to deal w the homophobia and I don’t think I ever will. Homophobia, is not something u assume and it doesn’t always present itself in the same way. Sometimes it’s a comment abt how bi ppl are sluts, other times it’s “joking” comment about being able to have as many threesomes as I want, another time it can be someone straight up calling u a slur. You never know, when or how or from whom the homophobia may come and personally I can’t live with having my guard constantly up. So sometimes I fight back, other times I feel like just ignoring them and maybe a couple of times I break down and cry about it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ sometimes the most “innocent” comment can be my breaking point while some days and don’t even mind them. Honestly? I find pretty scary the fact that sometimes I realize that I have assumed receiving homophobia and slurs to a very deep level.

Anyway, nonny, I hope this ramble answered ur question! 💕🌈

#queer woc #queer #bisexual #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lbgtqcommunity #bi pride

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jen-lee3 · 8 months

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So I love Resident Evil, and in particular Leon Kennedy because when I was like six or seven I watched my dad play Resident Evil 4 on the gamecube and went, I like this funny man. And now years later the remakes slammed me in the face now that I'm capable of complex thoughts. But none of my irl friends like Resident Evil to the point my best friend has stopped me mid conversation because I got really focused on it again. So I need people to talk to about Resident Evil, if not for my sake then my friends. So here are some random Leon headcanons/thoughts that I need to put somewhere. They're not completely original of course, but here.

These are pretty much all Remake Leon, because honestly I prefer him. He's got consistent characterization. Not that og Leon had much of a chance in that regard, there were a lot of writers and years and even consoles between each game, and I still love him. Remake Leon just gives me a chronic case of "i can fix him" disease.

He is a dog person, 100%. I think there's even art for either 2 or 1.5 of him with a bloodhound. But we knew this.

He can’t really have a pet, but if he could I think he’d inexplicably end up with a cat. He doesn’t know how this happened. It just did, and suddenly his phone is filled with pictures of this cat. Like a real ugly cat too.

I feel like he played soccer or baseball in high school. Gotta get look good for those college apps. Absolutely not foot ball.

I feel like he was well liked in high school and college. Not exactly popular, but if someone was planning a party and saw him walk by, shout out an invite to him, because he's just a nice guy.

Girls probably liked him being at parties because while he's bad at flirting, he is always ready to throw down with a creep, watch a drink, walk a girl home. Using his hero complex to enjoy a party without worry.

Leon listens to dad rock. This much is obvious. I’m using my parents for reference but they’re roughly about ten years older so there's differences. Def doesn’t listen to as much hair metal I think, but would probably get a kick out of steel panther still.

So much nirvana though. So much.

That being said, nothing is funnier than the idea of his inner elevator music being Linkin Park. He kinda missed them, getting beat up by Krauser. But I can see Chris several years later grabbing a cd thinking Leon might like this. Leon doesn’t know when Chris found out his birthday to buy him this gift as he did not tell him.

The visual of Leon zoning out and miserable with Numb playing just hits different okay.

Also everyone has seemed to collectively decide he likes NIN, specifically Closer. Which yes totally see it for re4 Leon, but also hilarious. He was 17 when that song came out. Can you imagine, freshman year or college with a Leon that's even a few years younger than re2 Leon, taking a girl back to his dorm room, and putting on some music to try and set the mood or something, and that song pops on. “I wanna fuck you like an animal” Sir, you are a golden retriever of a man that song doesn’t suit you yet.

Leon’s arm with the bullet wound seems to have some issues. I’ve seen several people throw that idea around and it makes sense. We know it was hours before he got proper medical attention at the very least if not days.

I also think he might have some slight tinnitus. Maybe just in one ear. Not enough that it would make him more vulnerable in a fight than his arm having issues. But the amount of explosions, getting thrown around, and even firing a gun. It wouldn’t be surprising.

I know that when he mentioned Wesker before he called him ‘Wesker’ like everyone else. But I think if they met, Leon would call him Albert cause it’s funny and he had no sense of self preservation.

I think Leon has a weird thing about his neck. Like sure it's fun to joke about him getting choked, but he has actually been choked by a lot of monsters to the point it’s probably touchy for him. I genuinely don’t think he’d like getting choked. And even touching his neck gets him to flinch unless he trusts them.

I didn’t want to get into nsfw, but since there's literally a tag for this on AO3… yeah, Leon’s packing. At the very least, I think this because something has to give him the confidence to say all that stupid shit. Because I don’t think it’s just his fighting skill.

Eye contact. The boy loves eye contact. If you manage to get in a conversation with him (and there's not zombies trying to kill you) he is keeping his focus and his gaze. And you know… eye contact in other situations too I guess…

He watched Buffy season 1, only got to watch exactly 2 episodes of Buffy season 2 before Racoon city. I looked up when the episodes aired. He didn’t even get to see the Angelus arc. He’ll never go back and watch until years later when streaming is a thing.

Another idea I’ve seen more than once I agree with. His apartment is so impersonal. Man walked into Ikea, pointed at one of their display rooms and said yes. Which is what they did in The Room. Tommy Wiseau looked at a display window and went yes.

Loves blockbuster and other video rentals. He loves movies but it’s probably hard for him to have a collection, so he rents them. Though that's always risky if he gets called away. But what else is he gonna spend his money on, the late fees are barely an issue.

sapphire-weapon has a lot of good Leon headcanons but I like the one about him being a fantasy nerd in particular. Being a Neil Gaimon fan makes a lot of sense. Probably enjoys some Terry Prachet as well. Very picky about fantasy but I would just want to show him my weird puppet movies. Like come on, this one has David Bowie who doesn’t like David Bowie?

I recently was shown Escape from New York and I think Leon and Chris would somehow start talking about that movie and they’ll get really excited about it and that they both love it. Like lots of good Kurt Russel movies, but I don’t think The Thing or Big Trouble in Little China gets the same results from those two.

He’s probably not Italian. If he is, it's probably too far back to matter or at the closest a grandparent they don’t really talk too. I would buy Scottish or Irish relatives closer than Italian. He is a white guy in America so he is probably a mix from several European countries but again, too far back to matter or really affect him culturally. He’s just American. Take this from someone who is of Italian descent, (my dad’s grandparents moved to Canada from Italy) and while I’m only a quarter Italian and actually have very similar colouring to Leon (pale, blue eyes, blonde) my family is still very Italian. So I feel like I can be a pretty good point of reference here.

Also the mafia background. Y’all saw one concept artist say he was Italian, and then that mock interview back in the day said his parents died in a “heinous crime” and decided it was mafia related, which hey. But idk, he seems too plucky in re2r. I feel like he’d be more disillusioned with the police force if something like that happened. I mean that is applying realism to Resident Evil which as we all know is a very grounded and realistic horror game, but regardless, he’s not mafia. Mafia princess Leon is hilarious, but just as a fun au.

But eerizon mama’s boy video tho? Makes me want to rip my phone in half (affectionate)

Probably raised catholic. He’s got a couple lines about religion and by merit of being a white guy in America, def christian family. Now y’all in the states have like a million different versions, start throwing directions into it too, so I really only know catholic. And also, Sister Michael of Derry Girls comes to me saying “I do love a good statue it must be said” and she’s right.

I wish there was more fan art of Leon with Catholic aesthetics because they're so good. Martyr Leon, Saint Leon. the possibilities. God I wish I could draw.

As for shipping, I’ll ship Leon with just about anyone.

Leon and Ashley are my personal favourite, I just think it’s adorable and knight/prince/ss relationships make me feral.

Chris and Leon are fun because grumpy old men romance!

Luis and Leon are really fun because Leon looks like scary dog privilege but I like the idea Luis is the dangerous one. He may or may not have been involved with Nemesis. Pissing off Leon is bad, but pissing off his boyfriend? Rip.

Leon and Ada are toxic and fun. I don’t understand the sentiment of, oh it’s not manipulative or unhealthy. Yes it is, that's why it’s sexy. I support women’s wrongs.

Leon and Claire are wild, something ends up on fire at the end of all their dates.

Leon and Krauser… okay maybe I don’t ship them. OG Leon? Sure, they’re more equals. Remake Leon? Krauser I’ll kill you.

In my head I refer to him as blonde because I first saw him in OG re4, but he's really more of a brunette huh. It also varies even in that regard (looking at you vendetta). Kinda like Link. Various between shades of blonde and brown with one random ginger/pink thrown in due to tech constraints.

Anyways, I have more thoughts but this was already waaaay too long. Please talk to me about Resident Evil my bestie can’t take it anymore.

#Resident Evil #resident evil 4 remake #resident evil 4 #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #pls i need re mutuals #my friend is going to kill me if i dont stop #leon my favourite idiot

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matan4il · 1 year

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Good Morning!!! Hope your feeling well today and got good health news. We actually have rain here in CA today which makes everyone excited since we are in a never ending drought. I was just hoping to add something about Carla if you don't mind.

So narrative wise. I believe Carla has always been set up as Eddie's sounding board (especially about his family) but now it's being reinforced because who will he gay panic/I'm in love with my best friend with but her. She's especially perfect because she knows Buck. This isn't something he will fret with Buck about because it is about Buck. Also this was kind of alluded to when Eddie made the joke, Im only talking to Carla now about Chris teasing/kissing. It could have just been a joke or it could also be considered forshadowing. What do you call her the Buddie Godmother? Very accurate lol!!

Secondly IRL they portray Carla's characters place in Eddie's life very accurately. I'm not sure if it's truly their intent or if it's accidental. However they have always truly represented a special needs parent life for Eddie. I know Home Health Care Aides and I also know people that need them. We have some of the best social services in CA. They generally are a part of your family. They are involved so intimately with your family because they really are in the trenches with you.

I guess my point is on both fronts Carla's place in the storyline is spot on and also very accurate to how she has been there all along. That hasn't changed at all. Even when they wanted to show the sadness of the pandemic, it was by showing us she had to read to Christopher over zoom.

Thanks for letting me ramble!!! Sending you lots of love from all the way over here!!!

Hi darling! Thank you so much, I’m not great, but that’s more to do with work than health right now, I had to deal with two antisemites in the last two tours I’ve given and I am SO tired, I swear. I was entertaining quitting today (totally what I needed on the first eve of Hanukkah, too). And then one lady said a couple of kind words and I picked myself up and continued. Sometimes that’s all it takes, right? *hearts*

I agree with you so much that Carla demonstrates how home health care aides do integrate into families, and I think they always had that idea in mind, we see it even back in s1 when Carla is still with Abby. I’m sure they wanted to maintain that element after Abby departed. I also believe that they wanted Carla as a soundboard for Abby before she left, so it made sense that once they had a new character without a spouse on the show, they would kill two birds with one stone by moving her to be Eddie’s soundboard as well.

And absolutely, if and when they want Eddie to have a revelation and need someone to vocally agonize to over the pining and fear and want and obstacles, she would be perfectly placed for that. Especially since she’s already been established as being interested in his (and Abby’s) romantic life. How fitting (and poetic) that in both cases, it would end up being about Buck, and that Carla would be able to witness how Eddie will heal what Abby has broken?

Oh, you are always welcome to ramble in my inbox, and you never have to thank me for it! I’m happy for anything I can do for you, lovely! Sending you lots of love, hugs and good rain! (as always, here’s my ask tag!) xoxox

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munamania · 2 years

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ok abby i HAVE 2 ask ... who is this she/her youve been speaking of as of late gimme the DETAILS 👀✨

oh em gee sia ily for entertaining this <3 esp since i’ve been keeping up on your he/him for so long… UHM! i do have this post that’s basically a summary rant of things that happened that made me insane. but i’ll rehash some other stuff because i see her again soon and i’m really not prepared for that fact lol.

basically i saw her on zoom and was like oh she’s cute :3 (btw i think she’s also a marketing/business major) and so we followed each other and then she volunteered to be my assistant in our first in person (film) class and when i saw her irl i was like. god idk i’ve never had that. instant attraction before? and that would be one thing but we clicked SO well. like ofc it was a little awkward at first and i was so so nervous but we eased into a silly banter and any time we spoke the energy was just very !!!!!! like. like we were all eye contact and teasing and it’s just one of those situations where something feels really right yk… not to be corny. but LIKE yeah she chose to sit by me when she could and we’d easily talk and joke around and during our last few classes i had her laughing across the room face down head in hands more than once so i was fr like was that funny babygirl…

ugh and during our last class we sat together and we talked. So much and she went red in the face bc i leaned into her to talk to someone else and she kept saying she wished she had spent more time with our crew and then we all went to get ice cream and i find out. SHE HAS A BF. and again i have a little bit abt what happened with him in that post but basically i was nice…. but also he Clearly saw me as a threat bc as much as i was trying to be chill she was being a fucking FREAK!!!!! (she was talking to me a Lot and stuttering and then he called us ‘besties’ and we were silent. yikes) and then i had to approach them while they were hanging out on campus bc she wasn’t answering anyone about smth that had to do with our class and he was so pissed he refused to say hi and just glared at me lol it was SO awkward but like. it was basically my Job for the class whatever and then shortly after i was blocked from viewing her story and stuff but she still looks at mine and i’m just like. why don’t you just block ME.

anyway we’re going to basically be neighbors and she already invited me over but that was pre-bf meeting so i have no idea if we’ll uh. talk. but we have one shared class and potentially two if i get off a waitlist (which she was Very enthusiastic about) and i’m sort of friends with her best friend now??? so she must not hate me. and there are just a lot of silly coincidences that happened along the way that made me feel like. im supposed to know her. and ik that sounds goofy. anyway i don’t want to pursue someone that’s taken but well. ig i’m a horrible person and it Was a new relationship and yk. i just haven’t ever felt that way before and i think i confused her too lol. so im just chilling thinking about how to handle this year, i think i’ll see if she talks to me or ignores me in class and one way or another try to approach her and just ask what happened... lol

#hi wasnt ignoring this i couldnt get to a computer and well. u see how much i rambled </3 #lol TY for asking!!!!!!! feeling freshly bonkers now. but well. whatever #idk im looking forward to seeing her again but even just pictures have me like. UGGHh yk. i wish i didnt like her stupid face sm.#and we just... talked so easily like without missing a beat about silly things and our classes and lives and passions #while also being like. insane energy wise and stumbling over what we were saying like we were in our own little bubble.. wonky!#and then im like is it just me was i just swayed by being attracted to her. but several ppl from class asked me like #how long we knew each other and sort of expected that i was in contact w her outside of class and stuff #when in reality. it was months of me looking forward to the little spurts of conversation wed have in class #and then those few days at the end of the semester that really uh. sealed the deal to me lol #asks #mutual tag

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neowinestainedress · 2 years

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anons didn’t understand why i hate jeno so i will explain… HE’S TOO PERFECT AND SWEET so i convinced myself that jeno from traitor is the same as rose colored glassed (i’m a mastermind ik)

but jokes aside i think i told you before of how much this saga is almost the same as my story so even tho jeno is perfect i can’t picture him with mc cause i associate him with my friend irl (since 95% of what you wrote happened to me) + haechan redeeming himself would be what i really wanted to happen to me lol

ALSO a girl posted a tiktok talking about traitor and it had 2500+ likes and people were saying it’s so good and idk it made me so proud cause you really deserve the hype and recognition. i really mean it when i say you’re such an amazing writer<3 (if you want to watch it the user was @/stoobfoobnoob)

ps: i’ve been screaming and crying cause midnights was so good and i could relate to the lyrics so much so i was wondering which one was your favorite song?? mine is would’ve, could’ve, should’ve (i listen to it for HOURS everyday since midnights came out) but i also really like maroon, you’re on your own, kid and the great war

+ in the previous ask i forgot to put the 💌 it was mee!!

here's the explanation to all the other outraged anons lol

you convincing yourself jeno is the same as rose colored glasses still makes me laugh so much, yes, you ARE the mastermind

yeah and i totally get you. i also think it's natural to still hope haechan will change for the better and end up with the mc, after all, it's centred on them and jeno only appeared for a little in the second story. just like it's okay to see the other side of the medal and think that she deserves someone like jeno. after all, everyone sees their personal experiences in stories so it's normal to want different things. i just hope whatever will happen will make sense and that i won't get tomatoes virtually thrown at me lmao (i fear the worst ngl)

I JUST SAW IT AND OMG???? i went on tiktok with shaky hands expecting the worst but the comments are so nice i — you have no idea how happy this made me. but you know what's the funny thing? i was really insecure about it and i can't believe so many people love this series so much and it became so popular. i'm so grateful for all the support, i love you all so much 😭

i can't believe people were/are talking shit about the album, i was expecting her worst work and i love it??? also we have the same favorite songs??? like i don't feel like i can actually pick my favorite because i keep obsessing with different ones each day but the ones you listed are the ones i love the most (with the special mention of midnight rain). a knife in the chest would hurt less than could've, would've, should've and you're on your own, kid. also every time i listen to bejeweled i think of traitor's mc, i really think that's her song, especially after enough for you

#anon answered #💌 anon #fic: traitor

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smokedanced · 2 years

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@lovepurposed sent a whole bunch of questions for the munday meme

Who is your favorite muse, and why? :: you going to make me pick one?! rude! hhhhhh. but different muses are favourites for different reasons! the doctor (both ten on this blog and thirteen) holds a special place, because i’ve roleplayed them - though the regeneration has varied - since 2013. castiel holds a special place because he got me through some rough times and is the fictional character i’ve felt the most connected to. though on this blog specifically, and this is cheating because i am in fact moving her to a singlemuse, shepard is my favourite. if truly picking from muses (who plan to remain on) from this blog, then possibly iris or jillian which i now realise is also kind of cheating as both of them were on single muse blogs before XD iris, maybe then, because she was my first oc on tumblr 9+ years ago, if not counting shep because moving her eventually.

Which of your muses do you relate to the most? :: in personality, edi. to be a walking autistic stereotype and pick the AI. in... some of his trauma, castiel. yes, i get to answer using muses not on this blog, i make the rules :P

Are there any muses that you are uncomfortable writing, but still enjoy? :: like, characters i enjoy i would not write, or muses i write that i am uncomfortable writing? i presume the former! yeah, definitely... i mean, there are characters i love that i just don’t have the inspiration to write (rowena macleod, sam winchester, liara t’soni, saren arterius, i could go on and on and...) but there are, indeed, also characters that i enjoy but am literally uncomfortable writing. some villains are just... too much for me to want to write the pov of? like, homelander. i immensely enjoy him on the boys because he’s a well written villain, but i don’t want to write from his pov. i guess i can excuse cannibalism and murder but draw the line at fascism? all my love for muns who write homelander, btw, this is me saying i would not write his pov, not telling other people shouldn’t (and i will gladly write with a homelander)!

If you could meet one of your muses IRL, who would it have been? :: the doctor, specifically her thirteenth regeneration. she’s my doctor, and i would love to be friends with her.

Who is the most complicated muse of yours and why? :: huh... complicated? as a person, or complicated to write? i presume the former but that’s not something i can answer. everyone is complicated in their own way. complex to write, though? i feel will graham. his pov is super complex for me to get into and portray.

What is your biggest insecurity in your muses? :: that people think my writing is shitty, my portrayal of canon muses is shitty, my ideas for original characters are shitty... i get insecure that people look at a reply i write and think “that’s not at all what that muse is supposed to be like”.

What is your biggest pride in your muses? :: when i have a lot of muse and a lot of Thoughts(tm) about a muse, and keep thinking up little (or big) things to add to their stories. when i feel like a muse is fleshed out.

Quantity or quality? :: quality.

What’s the most difficult thing about being a multi muse blog? :: getting people to fill out the fucking interest tracker XD i’m not even joking. my rules say i’m unlikely to interact unless people fill it out, yet about a tenth of my followers have. “what’s the big deal?” the big deal is that i am insecure, and i never want to feel like i am pushing a muse someone isn’t interested in on them. i don’t want to send a meme unless i know the other mun has interest towards that muse. i don’t want to assume people are interested in all of them without them telling me that.

What is one advice you wish you could give to multi muse blogs? :: em. when adding new muses, add them as test muses unless you’re really sure about it? i feel like this helps me solidify my interest about a muse. i’m not saying it’s wrong for people to add and toss out muses periodically at all, you do you! but i personally want to strive for some sort of consistency? i sometimes have test muse status for a very long time before promoting someone to primary/secondary/tertiary - this helps me make myself less likely to drop a muse that isn’t on test muse status (not saying people are doing smth wrong for dropping muses, again, just i personally dislike doing it with mine).

#lovepurposed #thamk!#; outofsmoke #; mun

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thewriting-corner · 1 year

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Book Tropes I Want To Experience IRL

So I was talking to @/kimberlysquill about fake dating and it hit me that there are so many book tropes I want to be able to experience in real life. This is so random, I’m sorry, but I had to. Also, I’m joking about the power hungry thing. I think.

I hope.

I’m honestly not sure lol ANYWAY enjoy

FAKE DATING

I mean, this needs no explanation. I just think it would be so fun to do. The lies, excitement and just simply getting to have the idea of a relationship without the “strings” that get you hurt would be really fun to experience.

FRIENDS-TO-LOVERS

I am an adult, okay, and as an adult I have tried dating apps. So far my conclusion is they don’t work for me. Not only am I too much of a romantic, but when I think back to the guys I’ve truly liked they have one thing in common: we were good friends before I developed feelings. Physical attraction is great, but I need that extra spark and safety that comes with being friends first.

THE CHOSEN ONE

Need I say more? I’m an academic validation girlie, and if there is one thing that motivates me in uni is to be better than everybody else. I want to be so good, that all my professors have me as the designated “chosen” for extracurriculars and opportunities.

Obviously if I could, I’d much rather be the Chosen One in the context of fighting dragons, but that is unfortunately not always possible😔

FOUND FAMILY

I mean technically I consider my pets to all be my found family (yk, because we found them on the street lol badum tss) but having that group of friends you have adventures with and save the world and create core memories with sounds amazing. I have my friends that I love and definitely consider to be my family, but we’ve yet to fight crime together and that really seems to me like one of the requirements of a true found family.

RAIN KISS OR DANCE

Like, I know realistically this would be super icky, and as someone from a very humid country, I’m used to rain being way too warm to be comfortable, but we have to romanticize life somehow. The slow dancing at least would not be disgusting lol

SECOND CHANCE ROMANCE

bye

GRUMPY X SUNSHINE

Except, plot twist, I’m both HAHAHA

no but fr, I want someone to be the golden retriever energy to my “life sucks, I will amount to anything and will die alone surrounded by my insane amount of pets” moods

SECRET/LOST HEIR

Just imagine after obsessively saving money for years it turns out you have an entire royal wherever-riches-are-stored thing at your disposal. Iconic. Not to mention - POWER. Let me lose in a fantasy novel and I’d become the villain. I have 0 self control and I want to be a secret heir. Honestly, there are no bad sides to this (other than the lying, gaslighting and likely manipulation it took to keep that secret for so many years lol but who cares if you’re Queen).

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 3 years

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I suspect quite a few people on this site don’t realize they are struggling with the effects of chronic trauma. In particular I think more people need to learn about the symptoms of C-PTSD.

Distinct from general PTSD, Complex PTSD is caused by prolonged, recurring stress and trauma, often occurring in childhood & adolescence over an extended period of time. There are many risk factors, including: abusive/negligent caregivers, dysfunctional family life, untreated mental/chronic illness, and being the target of bullying/social alienation.

I’m not a mental health professional and I’m not qualified to diagnose anyone, I just remember a million watt light bulb going off in my head when I first learned about C-PTSD. It was a huge OH MY FUCKING WORD eureka moment for me—it explained all these problems I was confused and angry at myself for having. The symptoms that really stood out to me were:

Negative self-perception: deep-seated feelings of shame, guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, and stigma. Feeling like you are different from everyone else, like something is fundamentally ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ with you.

Emotional avoidance of topics, people, relationships, activities, places, things etc that might cause uncomfortable emotions such as shame, fear, or sadness. Can lead to self-isolation.

Learned helplessness: a pervasive sense of powerlessness, often combined with feelings of desensitization, wherein you gradually stop trying to escape or prevent your own suffering, even when opportunities exist. May manifest as self-neglect or self-sabotage. (I remember watching myself make bad choices and neglect my responsibilities, and having no idea why I was doing it, or how to stop myself. Eventually I just stopped caring, which led to more self-neglect.)

Hyper-vigilance: always feeling “on edge,” alert, unable to relax even in spaces that should feel safe. May be combined with an elevated “flight” response, or feelings of always being prepared to flee. (I used to hide important documents and possessions in a sort of emergency go bag, even when I was living alone and there was no logical reason other than it made me feel “prepared.”)

Difficulty regulating emotions: may include mood swings, persistent numbness, sadness, suicidal idealization, explosive anger (or inability to feel anger and other strong emotions), inability to control your emotions, confusion about why you react the way you do.

Sense of foreshortened future: assuming or feeling that you will die young. Recurring thoughts that "I'll be dead before the age of 30/40/18/21 etc." As a teenager I used to joke darkly that I didn't plan to live past 30—not because I planned to end my life, but because I simply couldn't imagine myself alive and happy in the long-term. I couldn't imagine a meaningful future where I wasn't suffering.

Emotional flashbacks: finding yourself suddenly re-experiencing feelings of helplessness, panic, despair, or anger etc, often without understanding what has triggered these feelings. Often these flashbacks don’t clearly relate to the memory of a single event (since C-PTSD is caused by repetitive events, which can blur together), making them harder to identify as flashbacks—especially if you’ve never heard the phrase “emotional flashback” and don’t know what to look for. For years I just filed it under “sometimes I overreact/freak out randomly for no reason, probably bc I am just a terrible human being.” (It turns out there was very much a reason, it was just hidden in the past. I have since learned to be kinder and less judgemental towards myself.)

There are other symptoms too, here are more links with good info.

I’ve been meaning to write this post for awhile, because I’ve noticed that a lot of the people I interact with online have risk factors and experiences similar to mine. These include:

growing up in a dysfunctional household

having caregivers who do not fulfill basic emotional needs (do not provide consistent positive attention, encouragement, support, acceptance, communication, a sense of safety and security)

on a very related note, experiencing neglect or abuse at the hand of caregivers or other adults. I also want to emphasize the significance of emotional abuse, since it is hard to recognize, easy to ignore, and utterly rampant in so many communities. In general, family dysfunction, abuse & neglect are quite difficult to identify when you are a child/teen and that is the only “normal” you have known.

(For example, in my family it manifested as an emotionally absent father I was vaguely frightened of, constant nagging from a hypercritical mother, and a house full of people who yelled and screamed at each other. It took me years to realize I grew up in an abusive environment, because there was no physical violence, because I participated in the fighting, and because my behavioral problems made me the family scapegoat. And I internalized that guilt: I thought I was the problem. But no—I was a child, and I deserved not to grow up in a household full of anger and fear and negativity. You deserved that too. You deserved to grow up safe and loved and treated with kindness.)

anyway back to more risk factors:

being neurodivergent or chronically ill (especially without receiving proper treatment/support/accommodation)

being queer (especially in a conservative or undiverse community, or without the support and acceptance of family & friends)

being the target of bullying or harassment (from peers, teachers, authority figures, irl, online, etc)

being isolated or alienated from peers, from family, from your wider community.

growing up with chronic anxiety, discomfort, pain, fear, or distress caused by any of the above and more.

There are many other experiences that can cause chronic trauma, but these are some particularly common ones I see people in my own community struggling with. And I want more people to be aware of this, because we’ve been taught to ignore and second-guess the significance of our traumatic experiences. We’ve been taught to feel guilty for our own pain, because “other people aren’t struggling, so I shouldn’t either” or (contradictorily) “other people have it worse, so I shouldn’t complain.” But that’s not how it works—you are not other people, and you deserve to have it better. We all deserve better. We deserve to be happy. We deserve not to be in pain.

I used to think I couldn’t have a trauma disorder because (I argued in my head) the things that happened to me weren’t that bad. And then I spent five years in therapy learning to accept the full extent of my issues. I’ve since learned that trauma comes in many forms, and can happen quietly, invisibly, silently, chronically, and usually without the survivor being aware of the long-term repercussions of what they are surviving. That revelation comes later, after you have survived and must instead learn to live.

Finally, no single type of trauma is more real or harmful than any other. Severity is measured by the way the individual is affected, and the same situations affect different people in different ways. Because no one gets to choose how their brain reacts to trauma. No one gets to choose their hurt—otherwise there would be a hell of a lot less hurting in the world.

We can, however, choose to seek help. We can learn to recognize when something is wrong, we can learn when to reach out to professionals, and we can learn to educate ourselves on our injuries.

And gradually, we can learn to heal.

(posts like this brought to you by ko-fi supporters)

#The way things are is not the way things will always be. So I have learned to trust.#i...i accidentally spent 4 1/2 HOURS writing this what the FUCK #long post #not a shitpost #serious post #mental health #c-ptsd #complex ptsd #trauma #ask to tag #i need to take a break and drink some tea #maybe with the fancy new tea biscuits i just bought #they have pecans and honey. i like honey #pecans are gross though except apparently in biscuits. these biscuits are really good #anyway let me know if you're worried I've misspoke or misrepresented anything here #again i'm not a professional. i'm just a person in therapy who has spent the last few years learning about and healing from complex trauma #and i wish i had known all of this years sooner. but i know it now so i'm putting it out there #bc i hope it helps someone dealing with the same things i dealt with.#i know things now that were painful to learn. and i will use them gently with great care #i wish i hadn't suffered the way i suffered. but since i have--how miraculous if i could use it to prevent others from suffering the same #that's the best thing to do with pain i think. turn it into something warm and blazing and try to use it to keep others warm #pain is like fire that way. you can burn yourself and others with it. or you can tame it and keep it in a jar and use it as a guiding light #For the Love of All the Fucks please notify me of typos

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tripthelight-fanfic · 2 years

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Survival Instincts (Jake Kiszka Smut)

Warning: NSFW 18+ content, guns, gunplay, fem!dom, choking, cigs

Taglist: @flowervanfleet @weightofdreams-gvf @sierraahhhh @jakekiszska @amourleger @theweightofstardust @samkiszkabreakmyback @prettyintopeerpressure @greta-flanveet @fosterkidwiththebrokenjaw @the-chaotic-cow @ghostly-luck @mywaysooon @tlexx @screechesincoherently @garagebandvanfleet @gretavanhoney and potentially you, just lmk!

Request from @izzys-nose-ring: if requests are open: hate fucking with jake.thats all.

(A/N): Hello gang it’s Saturday night I’m quarantined I’m drinking whiskey and it’s time to write about having sex with Jake Kiszka. Okay, so while I truly love the whole damsel in distress trope, I also love a badass chick who can save herself (and the men, we love some light emasculation). So that’s kind of what inspired this fic. I’m also incorporating this request I got like forever ago that I’ve been dragging my feet on because I personally really don’t understand the appeal of hate fucking. But in this scenario it somehow works for me (if you could really call this hate fucking, I guess Y/N doesn’t really hate him but is more indifferent). Idk. I really don’t support the ownership of guns personally, and I don’t think gunplay is even something I would be into irl, but this idea just wouldn’t get out of my head this week and it’s been a minute since I’ve posted a smut so here you horny fucks go! I hope you enjoy!

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Survival Instincts

It was just supposed to be a fun night out with the guys, just something to blow off some steam after a long week. It was never supposed to turn into you on your knees for your friends’ snooty brother.

Let’s rewind a bit.

It was a Friday night. You had just gotten off a gruesome shift at work, really a rough week all around, and were looking for some relief. Naturally, you knew just the four boys to call for a fun night.

It wasn’t often that all five of you were in the same city at the same time, given that you were often traveling for work and they too, obviously, travelled for work. You had met the members of Greta Van Fleet entirely on accident when you were working as a bartender at one of their earlier venues. You cracked a few too many jokes with them and suddenly they had taken you under their wing. Well, Josh and Sam mostly.

You had no qualms with Danny of course, but he tended to keep to himself or quietly observe the mania brought on by you, Josh and Sam reuniting.

Jake, on the other hand, was a different story.

You had no idea what you had done to Jake to make him like this, but he always acted like your presence somehow bothered him. You remembered him being nice enough that first night all of you met, but by the time you all actually hung out as a group he had grown cold to you.

You didn’t really mind, though. You had no problem with him yourself, and you got along well enough with everyone else to feel assured that you were wanted, so his low grumbles and eye rolls never really got to you. In fact, sometimes you got a real kick out of him being so bothered by you. He was rarely able to really get a rise out of you, because whenever he said something snarky you had his own two brothers there to shoot something back.

But you never really bothered to question why it was that he seemed to hate you. You were too busy getting pulled into stupid decisions and situations by his brothers.

Anyway, you had a group chat with all four of them and after you sent a text, within no time all four had responded affirmatively (Josh, of course, responding on behalf of both him and Jake).

The bar you guys decided on was pretty close to Josh and Jake’s place, and thus pretty far from your own. Josh offered to come pick you up to pregame at his place before walking over, and you couldn’t refuse the opportunity to leave your car safely in your garage that night.

So there you were, in the shotgun seat of Josh’s truck while he blasted-

“Really Josh? The Hustle? Not another disco phase.”

Josh beamed over at you, bobbing and jerking his head to the beat. “Y/N, The Hustle is timeless and appropriate for any situation.” He declared.

“I’m pretty sure I can think of at least four situations off the top of my head where The Hustle would be completely inappropriate.” You shot back, a smirk gracing your face.

Josh snorted and took a turn, “Was that an innuendo, Y/N? Is this the vibe for the night? Is it a flirt-with-strangers and make-decisions-you’ll-regret-tomorrow night?” His head turned to you briefly, eyebrows raised hopefully.

You rolled your eyes, “Easy there, Tiger. Let’s get a few shots in us first.”

When the two of you pulled up to his and Jake’s shared house, you sighed gently when you considered who else was waiting for you in the house. Or more, dreading you.

But when you opened the front door and waltzed into the familiar kitchen, he was nowhere to be seen. Josh called out his brother’s name and you could hear a faint, muffled response coming from upstairs.

“Be down in a minute!”

“Well, hurry or else you’ll miss shots!” Josh hollered back.

You raised your eyebrows and hummed in response, opening the fridge and reaching for the drawer where Josh kept his citrus. He always had a variety on hand for his margaritas and salty dogs. But before you could take out the bag of limes, Josh closed the door against you, holding a huge bottle of Ketel One that made your eyes widen.

“You want to take vodka shots?” You asked incredulously, as Jake walked into the room and eyed the bottle himself.

“Oh Jesus.” He mumbled.

Josh grinned and turned to grab three shot glasses from the cabinet. “No chasing vodka in this house.” He reminded you, a rule you knew well but always made an effort to object to.

You leaned against the counter, Jake hovering in your peripheral but not moving. “That’s a lame ass rule, might I remind you.”

Josh turns back to the counter you’re leaning on, still beaming at you. “You remind me every time, Y/N. But then you wake up without a hangover and I never hear a thank-you.”

You grabbed the bottle and started filling the glasses. “Yes, Josh, this little bit of juice I’m not having at the beginning of my night is truly gonna be my saving grace tomorrow morning.”

Jake suddenly approached the counter once the third shot glass was filled. “Shut up and drink.” He retorted, generally addressing both of you but obviously more pointed at you.

You fought the urge to roll your eyes as you threw back the shot, grimacing slightly before setting the empty glass back down. Is he gonna be like this all night?

A few more shots later and the three of you were putting on your jackets and heading off into the night. It wasn’t too cold out, thankfully, but it would likely only get colder as the night dragged on.

It was maybe 10pm, the streets between Josh and Jake’s place and the main road where all the bars are was pretty empty, so the stillness of the night was filled by yours and Josh’s chatter as Jake trailed along behind you.

It wasn’t until you stopped to wait at a crosswalk that danger struck.

A man in a neck gaiter whipped around the corner and pressed a pistol to your head. “Empty all your pockets or I paint the sidewalk with her.”

His voice was low but forceful enough to halt all conversation. You slowly turned to look at the twins, who were similarly frozen with fear. Their eyes were all but bulging out of their faces and you could see Josh’s hands shaking.

“Right now! I’ll shoot her and then you next! Empty your fucking pockets… I want the jewelry too.” This stirred the boys into action, hastily reaching around to remove their bracelets, rings and necklaces while you slowly turned back around to look into the eyes of your attacker.

His words hadn’t convinced you like they had the boys. Maybe it was the adrenaline of the crisis situation, maybe it was the straight vodka sitting in your stomach, but you wanted to call this motherfucker’s bluff.

He didn’t want to shoot you. No mugger ever does. That’s a murder charge that’s a lot harder to make disappear than petty theft. Not to mention he’d have to kill all three of you to avoid any witnesses, which would only further complicate things.

You felt the barrel of his gun against your abdomen now, and you tried your best to think back to the self-defense course you took in Girl Scouts as a teen, still not breaking eye contact with your assailant.

As your eyes continued to bore into his, you watched his eyebrows crease a bit in uneasiness. “What the fuck are you doing, I said empty your-“

He moved to shake the gun to make his point, and in that moment of broken stability you used both of your hands to quickly knock the gun out of his, before turning it and raising it to point right at his forehead.

“…pockets…” he finished breathlessly, making Josh and Jake look up from the pile of valuables they were creating on the ground behind you. You heard them gasp but you didn’t risk turning to see the looks on their faces.

But damn, you wanted to.

Instead, you pressed the barrel closer into his head and started walking him back around the corner he emerged from.

He let out a shaky, unconvincing laugh, “You don’t even know how to-“

You cut him off again by reaching your other hand up to cock the gun against his head, making him gulp his last words. “You wanna mess with my friends? You wanna fuck with us right now?” You taunted, honestly feeling a little power drunk.

You allowed the man to take a few cautious steps backwards, feeling Jake and Josh right behind you.

Again, the man tried to regain some power by firing back, “You wouldn’t dare.”

And he was right. Like him, you wouldn’t. But that doesn’t mean he has to know that.

You pointed the gun over his left shoulder and pulled the trigger, letting the bullet whizz right past him into a dumpster at the end of the street.

However, it was enough to startle him into scrambling away, bounding down the street and out of sight.

You took a deep breath and turned around to face the shocked expressions of the Kiszka twins. You reveled in it for a moment before brushing past them. “You’re welcome!”

“How the fuck did you do that?” Josh exclaimed. “Since when can you even fire a gun?”

You shrugged, disarming the gun. “My dad’s into hunting, he made sure I had good survival instincts. This isn’t all that different from some of the stuff he has. Now pick up your shit and let’s get to this damn bar before we attract another.”

You took the gun and it’s bullets and put them in your jacket pocket. Josh was already bent over retrieving his phone, wallet and jewelry, but Jake caught this action and raised an eyebrow. “You’re keeping the gun?”

You looked back up at him and held his gaze. There was something different about his eyes now. They were a little bit darker, looking a little further into you. You tried to brush it off with a small shrug and a wink, “For the next guy.”

If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought you saw the beginnings of a smile form on Jake’s face from what you said. But the moment was broken by Josh approaching him with the contents of his pockets he had spilled onto the ground. He hastily shoved it all back in and the three of you were back on your way to the bar.

“You WHAT? At GUNPOINT?!” Sam yelled in disbelief. You had finally made it and ordered a round, having sobered up considerably in your commute. Sam and Danny were slightly annoyed at how long it took you three to get here, but boy did you have an excuse.

You didn’t really feel like rehashing what happened, but luckily for you Josh was absolutely in his element as he walked his other two bandmates through an only slightly exaggerated version of the story.

You couldn’t help but blush at how scary and badass he was making you sound, but you supposed objectively you couldn’t disagree. It was pretty badass and you felt that way. The only thing holding you back from fully relishing in your life-saving credit was the sour look on Jake’s face.

Somehow, between your little moment on the sidewalk and entering the bar, gloom and doom Jake was back. And now you really couldn’t figure out why he was acting like this. You had literally just saved him. Maybe not his life, as Josh was shaping you up to have, but at the very least you had saved him the headache of freezing all his accounts, calling the DMV for a new license, and buying and setting up a new iPhone.

Was he embarrassed that he had submitted immediately while the only girl in the group was the one with the balls to challenge your attacker? You didn’t have him pegged to be that shallow (or insecure) but you also never knew what was going on behind those dark eyes of his. You supposed it was possible.

As you finished your first drink, you found your heart still thumping wildly with adrenaline. You turned to the middle of the table. “Can I bum a cig?”

Sam turned around to reach into his jacket pocket, but Jake slid out of his chair completely before he could. “I got you, I need one too.” His eyes met yours and you paused for a moment, holding his gaze and letting yourself get lost in it for a moment.

You were shaken out of your trance by Danny chuckling and saying, “Yeah I fucking bet, I’d need one too after all that shit.”

Josh leaned against the booth side of the table, holding his vape in his hand. “Enjoy the cold, losers.” He jeered before taking a hit and leaning down to blow it under the table, in effort to avoid being caught.

You stuck your tongue out at him as you pulled your jacket on and headed for the bar’s back patio behind Jake.

You closed the back door behind you as Jake lit his cigarette. You turned to face him and felt another cigarette softly hit your face before landing on your shoe. You looked down at it and glared up at Jake before bending down to retrieve it.

“Real nice, Jake. After all I saved you from tonight.” You gloated, ripping the lighter from his hands and igniting the end of your cigarette.

Jake scoffed and turned away from you, “Oh, you’re just eating this up aren’t you?” He murmured.

You stepped closer, “What was that? Would you rather I have let him take all your shit before scaring him off?”

Jake rolled his eyes as he exhaled a cloud of smoke, “Oh my GOD, you’re not a superhero for distracting a guy long enough to take his gun. Any one of us could’ve done what you did, you’re just the only one reckless enough to take a risk that big.”

This caught your attention. It also miffed you a bit, but you wanted to keep with the night’s new theme and call his bluff. You wedged your half-smoked cigarette into the corner of your mouth as you started rifling through your pockets. “Oh yeah, Jake? Any one of you?”

Your hands finally fell onto the handle of the stranger’s pistol. When Jake opened his mouth to respond, you whipped it out and pressed the barrel against his chest, allowing any words he was gonna speak to die in his throat.

“Disarm me right now then.”

Jake’s eyes widened and his head darted around, only to find nobody in the general vicinity. “Y/N, stop fucking around with that thing.”

You tilted your head and stepped closer to Jake, faces now only a few inches apart. “What? Scared of the gun? Having some second thoughts, Jake?”

You batted your eyes and gave a sympathetic pout that dripped in sarcasm. You watched Jake’s unreadable expression as gears shifted in his head, meanwhile you slowly dragged the gun up and down the bare sliver of his chest, waiting for him to make a move.

But the move he made wasn’t the one you expected, as he reached an arm up to throw his cigarette butt on the ground and pull your face toward him, slotting his lips against yours.

You gasped into his mouth, your own cigarette falling from your lips, before reciprocating. You had never really allowed yourself to consider Jake in a sexual light, partly because you’re so close to his brothers but also because of his typical behavior around you. It’s not like you didn’t find him sexually appealing, it was more that you would never admit it or act on it.

But you still didn’t allow yourself to fully relax into the kiss, not following the conversation that caused it.

And surely enough, after about a minute you felt Jake’s hands dart over to yours that was holding the gun. But he was too slow, you ripped your hand up from his chest and pressed the gun harshly against his throat.

You felt your eyebrows raise as Jake moaned into your mouth. You took the opportunity to allow your tongue to mingle with his, wrestling in his mouth for dominance. His hands moved from where they rested near his chest after their futile attempt, and instead wrapped them around your waist to pull you closer into him.

You eventually had to pull back for a breath, but Jake darted over to your neck to press kisses onto there, hands gripping your hips tightly to press you against him. You allowed your free hand to weave into his hair, your other hand rested on his chest, gun still pointing upward at his jugular. You could feel him getting excited as his crotch pressed against your thigh, and you felt your own heat pooling between your thighs at the thought.

Deciding to keep being bold, you retrieved your hand from his tresses and trailed them down his side before reaching down and cupping your hand right over the growing bulge in his pants.

Jake let out a heavy breath from his nose and bit down on the part of your neck he was suckling in response. You grinned to yourself. “Hmmmm, maybe I was wrong. Maybe you do like the gun after all, you little freak. You’re into it, aren’t you?”

Jake pulled back to look at you warily. His lips were slightly swollen and his face was flushed. He honestly looked ravishing. But he hadn’t answered your question. So, you readjusted your grip on the gun’s handle and pressed the barrel up against the underside of his chin.

“Don’t make me ask again, Jake.” You said softly, brushing your lips against his teasingly.

His mouth fell open and he sighed into yours, his hands rising a bit from your hips to brush under your jacket. “Yes.” He breathed out.

With that, his lips were back on yours. His fingertips danced along the hem of your shirt under your jacket as you took a moment to consider how you wanted to proceed.

And whether Jake really deserved the decision you landed on.

After a few more moments of deliberation, you took a step away from Jake and his grip on you, and pressed the gun right to his forehead, making his eyes widen once more.

“So what do you think I should do next Jake? Blow your brains out?”

He let a smirk grace his face for a moment, before it was knocked clean off by you sinking to your knees, taking the gun with you to rest just below his belly button.

“Or blow your brains out?”

Jake bit his lip at the sight of you below him, as well as the feeling of the metal brushing against his midsection. When he didn’t answer, you pressed the gun further into his stomach.

“Th-the latter, please!”

You let out a dark chuckle at the urgency in his voice, as your free hand reached up to rub him over his jeans once more. “Mmmm, good choice. Looks like you’ve got some survival instincts of your own, there.”

You flashed a shit-eating grin up at Jake as you unbuttoned his fly. Jake wasn’t looking though, his head was resting against the wall at the sensation.

“God, shut up” He groaned.

Once again, you pressed the gun into his side as you leaned back on your heels, away from his undone pants. “What was that?” You snapped.

His eyes flashed open and he looked down, “Nothing! Nothing, please don’t stop. If you wanna.”

You smirked up at him before leaning forward to return to his crotch. “Very polite tonight. Couldn’t have anything to do with the gun pressed against your stomach, would it? You know that’s still a fatal wound, your stomach acid would fuck all your shit up.” You mumbled as you reached your hand under his boxers to pull out his pulsating dick.

Your eyes widened at the sight and Jake let out a groan. You ran your fingertips up and down his length and watched him throb in response. “For such an asshole, you’re quite the specimen, Jake” You said honestly.

“Thanks” he breathed out, eyes closed again in anticipation.

You let your hands rest at his base as you leaned forward to kitten lick at his tip, making him shudder. You never expected Jake to be so responsive, or so submissive. Sure, you were literally holding him at gunpoint, but not seriously. He had watched you take the bullets out not even an hour ago. Had you been overlooking a key possibility in your curiosity over Jake’s attitude? Was it lust this whole time?

It sure seemed like it was, as Jake reached down to weave his fingers into your hair when you finally took him fully in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks to take almost all of him before resurfacing.

Your hand glided quickly up and down his dick, now slick with your spit, as you allowed yourself to steal a glance up at him.

He was already looking down at you, eyes wide and pupils dilated so big you could hardly see the brown tones that usually graced his eyes. You held his eye contact as you opened your mouth and slid his cock back in, watching his face contort with pleasure. “Fuck, just like that.”

You hummed affirmatively against him and he gasped at the sensation, hands gripping your hair tighter.

Unfortunately, your scalp was your Achilles Heel, and you moaned loudly around his dick in response, core clenching at the action. The heightened feeling made Jake buck his hips into you, bottoming your throat out on his dick until you gagged. You used the gun to push him all the way back, looking up at him with knit brows.

“Oh absolutely not, Kiszka.”

Jake’s eyes widened and he let out a little whimper as you rose to your feet, allowing the gun to rediscover his Adam’s Apple. “That wasn’t very polite, now was it?”

He wordlessly shook his head, trying to gauge your next move. You leaned over to kiss under his ear before biting down on his earlobe. “How about you think of a way to make it up to me?” You breathed into his ear, smiling to yourself at the goosebumps you watched rise on his neck.

His hands rediscovered your hemline, this time delving further south as his fingers lazily undid your belt. You couldn’t help the giddiness in your chest as his fingers approached where you needed him most, but he was taking entirely too long. “Hey.” You got his attention again by poking him lightly on his pulse point with the gun. “We don’t have all night. This is already the world’s longest smoke break to the rest of your band.”

Jake’s eyes widened in realization at your words, as if he temporarily forgot the context of this situation. “Right. Yeah. Sorry.” He murmured as he made quick work of your belt and the fly of your jeans. In that moment, your empathy started to come through. You realized what you were doing in that moment- basically forcing Jake to get you off. He was clearly into the gun, but that didn’t necessarily mean he was into you.

All of a sudden, you dropped your hand that was holding the gun and stepped back, “Actually, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Jake’s head whipped up to yours, brows knit with confusion. “What?”

You shrugged, “I mean I sucked your dick because I wanted to and because I felt you were hard, but you don’t have to do anything for me if you don’t want to, or if you’re doing it just because of the gun. You know what, let’s just go back inside.”

Jake’s brows only furrowed deeper as he watched you completely talk yourself out of this scenario. You went to walk back inside but his hand grasped for yours, making you drop the gun on the ground. With a swift motion, he yanked you back to him and enveloped you in a kiss. Both of his hands reached up to cradle your face as he held you in place before pulling away.

“Don’t you dare pussy out on me now, Y/N. I don’t take without giving.” He spoke firmly against your lips, as one of his hands trailed down your front, between the valley of your breasts, to slide into your undone pants.

Your mouth dropped open as his fingers made contact with your wetness. And boy, was it wetness. “Damn,” he breathed against you, reveling in the sensation just as much as you were as the pad of his finger found your clit.

You jumped slightly and your hands found a new home on his shoulders, gripping tightly. His hands moved quickly against you, and you were so wet you could hear the sinful noises from under two layers of fabric. You leaned forward and took Jake’s bottom lip between your own, training your eyes on his as your pupils dilated with pleasure.

Jake greeted you with another kiss, this one messier than any of the others. Teeth were clashing and both of your mouths were slick with anticipation. You had somehow replaced the adrenaline from your commute with a new, much more thrilling excitement. One you had never even had the opportunity to consider because it never seemed like an option.

It was intoxicating. It made you feel unstoppable. So, you couldn’t help but seek out more of the dominance you lost when you dropped the gun on the ground. Instead, you reached to wrap your hand around Jake’s windpipe, listening for the low vocalization coming from the back of his throat that confirmed he welcomed the feeling.

He pressed his forehead against yours as he dipped a finger inside of you, pulling you closer and bending his knee so that you could rest on him. You couldn’t help but grind your hips up to meet his motions now that you had his thigh to rest your weight on.

Jake let out a breath. “You’re such a dirty girl.”

You flashed him a small smile. “And you’re one kinky motherfucker, Jake.” You responded.

This made Jake grin. You don’t know if you’ve ever seen him smile so widely and genuinely at you before, but it made your heart flutter. And your core clench around his fingers.

His smile fell into a slackened jaw. “Oh, fuck you’re so tight. Can I, would it be okay if I-“

Your hand fell from his neck to tug him harshly by the collar of his shirt, pulling him nose to nose with you. “Bend me over the railing and fuck the shit out of me Jake. Right now.”

He didn’t take long at all to oblige. You turned around and crossed the patio, feeling Jake hot on your heels. As soon as you reached the railing you felt a hand press down on your back, and another pulling down the back of your jeans.

He granted himself a moment to run his fingers along the swell of your ass before tapping his dick against your ass cheek a few times. “You ready?” He asked.

You turned your head to peek at him from over your shoulder as you pressed your ass further into him, even wiggling it a bit. “You better fuck me like you mean it, Jake.”

Jake’s eyes ever-so-slightly rolled back into his head as he lined himself up with you. “Anything you want, Y/N.” He groaned as he pressed into your core.

You both gasped as he filled you up to the brim, but given how ready you both were (and how increasingly likely it was that Sam might step out for a smoke break of his own soon) Jake didn’t waste any time setting a firm rhythm thrusting into you.

Your hands gripped the railing so tightly you’re sure your knuckles were white. The pressure from the railing hit just below your belly button so that every time Jake jostled you forward, your g-spot was manually pressed against his dick. And it felt delicious.

“That’s it, Jake. Fuck me harder. Just like that.” You whined, pressing yourself further against the railing as Jake rammed into you.

Your head was bobbing down looking at the ground until suddenly you felt Jake wrap his fingers around your tresses and yank your head up, forcing you to look straight ahead. Your mouth fell open and a whimper escaped your lips.

“You like that?” He grunted. You tried to make a mental note to give him props for remembering what elicited a response for you, but you were too busy with the blinding pleasure he was giving you.

“Fuck yeah, you’re gonna make me come.” You moaned back, reaching a finger down your front to play with your swollen bud.

“I don’t have much longer either. Fuck, you’re so sexy like this.” Jake managed out. If you weren’t so distracted by your oncoming orgasm, you might have blushed.

But alas, just a few more backbreaking thrusts from Jake and a few more twists of your fingers and you were coming hard onto his dick. You let out what could only be described as a wail into the night, praying to any god out there that the music inside was loud enough to drown it out because you don’t think you could stifle it if you tried.

Jake followed soon after at the feeling of you clenching and fluttering around him, pulling out at the last possible moment to jack himself off over the railing.

You both took a second to catch your breath and collect yourself, leaning over the railing and hoisting yourselves up by your elbows. Jake pulled his pants up and you did the same, for the first time recognizing the chill of the evening air.

Realization washed over you. You just had kinky-ass sex with the man you thought despised you. He even made you come. You couldn’t hold back the chuckle as it escaped your lips, catching Jake’s attention.

“What?”

You could only smile and turn to face him, pushing yourself off from the railing, “We could’ve been having crazy hot sex this whole time but you just had to be a sourpuss.”

Jake’s mouth dropped open indignantly. “Okay first of all, I was trying to get with you from the start. It’s not my fault you took such a goddamn shine to my brothers.”

Ding ding ding. We have an answer.

You tilted your head at him, this time in real sympathy, and put your hand on his shoulder. “Well, I’ll tell you what. I’m probably crashing at your place tonight since I came here with you two. Maybe we can make up for some lost time.” You offered him one more raise of your eyebrows before patting his chest and walking back over to the back entrance.

You thanked your lucky stars at your timing when you saw Sam approaching as you walked in, “There you are, I was beginning to think you shot and killed Jake out there. I know you two don’t get along so well but now you have a gun so anything’s possible.”

You laughed off his joke as he brushed past you for the patio door, freezing when he yelled back, “Okay, can you at least pretend to be responsible with this weapon? Why is it just on the ground?”

Your eyes widened to nobody in particular as you made your way back to the table where Danny and Josh were. Jake could take that hit for you.

#HOOOOOO BOY #JACOB YOU NASTY BOY #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka x y/n #jake kiszka imagine #gvf smut #gvf imagine

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