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bitchassbucky · 3 years

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Word Count: 1.4k

Warning/s: toxic relationship dynamics, dark!bucky x dark!reader, stalking, coercion and lying, manipulative tendencies, injuries and blood mention, food was mentioned for a bit

A/N: WE ARE GETTING THERE, BABES WHEW OKAY

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A month had passed since your not-date date had happened. You tried to forget the rest of the day, only focusing on how he looked and talked to you that day. How he smiled, trying to play off the ‘cool guy’ narrative.

You suddenly grew cold, noticing how your conversations became sparse—dry in between. Fewer texts and long waits. It made you nervous, sad, and a little bit annoyed. You barely see him around the office too—has Bucky been avoiding you?

His office is a bit out of the way for you to accidentally stumble in, anyway; the days you’re in the office were unsynchronized. Would it count as a punishable offense if you mess up with your company-approved laptop?

Saying you missed Bucky is an understatement: the bottle of cologne that smells like him sits empty on your dresser. The pictures you took of him taped loosely on your corkboard. Bits and pieces of papers he gave you tacked on it haphazardly.

Can someone die from loneliness?

Is this what being in love feels like?

Suffocating, consuming, your chest feels heavy, and your stomach is in knots.

—

Another month, another throng of employees needing new passwords. There are literal posters around the floor reminding everyone to use a password manager. Bucky can’t believe that he has to work with idiots around him. When he took up computer science as a major in college, he imagined himself hacking into… government intel, or something. Not looking after dimwits that don't know how to install an update.

His text messages are red with notifications—bank updates, deliveries, and you.

For some reason, Bucky can’t bring himself up to return your messages. Hi’s, hey’s, and how are you’s littered his text chain. Is he a bad person for not replying back? He can always just make up an excuse, right?

When you told him that you liked him, kissed him like you meant it, his fondness dispersed into thin air. The easy is never worthy and the worthy is never easy, as his father told him.

A ding from his phone brought him forth, another text from you: coming up right now, can we talk?

Now, he can’t come up with an excuse.

—

Bucky heard you before you come in, knocking on his door like the first time you met.

He clears his throat, calling out a come in! before rolling back from his cluttered desk. Tickets were few and far in between, he knows he can spare you at least 20 minutes but he just doesn’t want to.

“Hey,” you said, your head poking into his office. You weren’t entirely sure why you came up here in the first place, you really, really, really just wanted to see him again.

Bucky chuckles, pulling the door open for you. “What’s up? Is everything okay?”

You breathe out a little, shaking the feeling sinking deep inside your stomach, “yeah. Yeah, everything’s fine.” Stepping into his office, you eye his desk. He’s been busy. Papers and files are piling up on the left side of his desk, half of his setup is covered with those post-it notes. Several mugs littered his small space.

Huh, “Sorry, I can come back some other time.”

Turning on your heel, you pivot a little to grab the door when Bucky grabs your upper arm, “don’t go—”

He realizes the implications if someone were to see the two of you and so he lets go, much to your discomfort. You face him, either way, you’re sure he’s not gonna let you go that easily.

“Sorry, it’s just- I missed you.”

And there it was. I missed you.

He was thinking about you.

“I was just gonna drop off some files… But,” you rake your brain for a coherent train of thought, “I missed you too.”

A smile of relief overcomes Bucky’s features, his eyes crinkling just the way you like. His steely blue eyes hidden beneath his lashes.

“I have uh, a thing later… Dinner with friends—do you wanna come?” You make a show of peering over his shoulder and onto his desk, “unless you’re busy?”

“I’d love to come.” He says, tucking his pointer finger underneath your chin, flicking it forward so you’d look at him, “what time is it?”

“Come by around seven. I’ll text you my address.”

Bucky doesn’t need your address. He already came a dozen times by your building, trying to build up the nerve to knock on your door and kiss you silly. Like in those movies you watch late at night.

But he’s conflicted, no?

Are you really as good as they come?

—

At six-thirty, you already sent the text: take the east street, beige apartment block. I’m on the third floor, second door to your right. :)

At six-fifty five, Bucky’s already there, his car idling on the sidewalk. He’s… nervous. Why is he nervous? It’s just dinner. A small get-together with friends. Speaking of friends, he didn’t see any unfamiliar cars parked on the block. Maybe it’s not work friends?

Letting out a sigh, Bucky fetches the small bouquet of flowers and wine he brought, just in case. He doesn’t wanna be the only one showing up empty-handed.

On the dot, Bucky knocks on your door. He plasters on his best smile as you open the way, revealing yourself.

God, you look gorgeous. Why did he stop hanging out with you in the first place?

Oh, right.

“Aw, flowers and wine? You’re too sweet!” You chirp out, stepping out of the way to let him into your apartment. Taking the gifts from his hands, you put them away while Bucky busies himself checking out your place.

It’s weird seeing your place in real life. Bucky noted the hint of lavender in the air, coupled with a smidge of coffee brewing. He’s so used to seeing parts of it but not everything-everything. He careens his neck to look down the hallway, catching a glimpse of your bedroom.

“If you’re lucky, you can see it tonight.” A peal of boisterous laughter comes out of you, lightly kicking his foot with yours, “I’m kidding. It’s off-limits for visitors, sorry.”

“Right…” Bucky looks around, shifting his weight from the balls of his feet up to his toes. “Am I too early? I can help you set the table.” The table is halfway finished and you’re stirring in cheese into a sauce. Roux, perhaps.

“No, it’s okay…” You trail off, lowering the heat before facing Bucky, “I lied.”

“What?”

“There’s no dinner—I mean, there is. Just not with friends.” You bite your lip, looking down on your shoes before tearing your gaze away from the floor to meet Bucky’s eyes.

“You lied? Why- why would you lie about that?” Annoyance and frustration all seep out near the surface. His jaw ticking as he gritted his teeth.

“Are you mad?”

“Are you mad?” Bucky asks back in a mocking tone, bringing his fist down the dinner, “you—you’re crazy. I knew it, I knew you’re crazy. Lying about dinner and what, trying to get me alone? Jesus, what--” He lets out a mirthless laugh, the one that sends chills down your spine.

You stood there, frozen at your spot. You’re hurt. He called you crazy. He called you crazy when he’s the one who spied on you for weeks on end.

When he’s the one who watches you at night.

When he’s the one who left those notes on your desk.

The one who sent those texts and left calls and voicemails.

“Fuck you.” Your words rang empty as Bucky walked out of the kitchen in long strides. The dinner long forgotten.

You calmly watch him turn the doorknob open, failing when the adjacent locks prevent him from opening the door. Two deadbolts and a chain lock. Never would you have thought that the threat would be coming inside your home.

“I’d think twice before leaving without dinner.”

—

Bucky stirs awake. The sound of cutlery on plates grating on his nerves. His head is throbbing. His right temple feels tight and tender, there’s something hard and crusty covering the right side of his face. He can suddenly feel the weight of his left arm, leaning over to compensate for the sudden pain.

He wasn’t aware that he had closed his eyes; the lights suddenly glaringly bright.

Right, the dinner.

The dinner?

Wasn’t he supposed to—

“Thank fuck. I thought you were dead.”

God, he hopes he is.

#bitchassbucky writes #dark!bucky x reader #dark!bucky x reader smut #dark!bucky x reader angst #dark!bucky x reader fluff #dark!bucky #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!bucky barnes x reader smut #dark!bucky barnes x reader angst #dark!bucky barnes x reader fluff

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plaidbooks · 3 years

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Dark Secrets: Secrets Exposed

A/N: Here’s chapter two of vampire!Sonny, and boy oh boy is it a doozy. I have another one planned, but it won’t be for the bingo. Also, the reason this is jumping around so much is because it’s an arc; Karen and I can come back at any time and fill in gaps with short chapters/drabbles.

Anyways, this covers the Monster square in @adarafaelbarba moodboard bingo!

Tags: smut, rough p in v sex, blood (is it blood play if he drinks it?), biting kink, marking/bruising skin, squirting

Words: 3105

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy @ben-c-group-therapy @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @caracalwithchips @berniesilvas @reading--mermaid @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @crowleysqueenofhell @dreamlover31

Three months. They were the longest three months of your life. Sonny never contacted you, and you worried about him every day. Was he compromised? Hurt? Dead? You had no way of knowing, and it kept you up at night. He had to be okay, right? You’d feel if he was hurt, you knew it in your heart.

You were also upset with yourself; the last conversation you had with him was…hard. Why didn’t you just wait a day, tell him how much you loved him instead? And now, what if it was too late to tell him?

There was a knock at your door, and you braced yourself for the worst. But when you opened it to find Sonny standing there, a sheepish smile on his face, you felt such relief that you cried out before launching against his chest. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close.

“Oh my god, I’ve missed you so much! I’m so happy you’re okay,” you exclaimed, pulling him to you in a deep kiss.

He kissed you back just as fiercely, walking you backwards into your place. “I’ve missed you,” he muttered against your lips before kissing you again.

You wrapped a leg around his waist, scratching at his back, and he groaned. You needed him, now more than ever. You wanted him so desperately. But still, he hesitated.

“W—wait a moment, doll,” he said, panting. You gently released him, looking up into his face. His eyes were blown with lust, a mirror to your own. “We need to talk.”

You gave him a sultry smile, leaning against him. “It can wait,” you replied before kissing his neck.

Sonny groaned again, melting under your mouth as you continued to kiss and suck his neck. “N—no; stop, please.” You stopped your assault, leaning back to look at him. “It can’t wait, I’m sorry, doll.”

You moved to sit on your couch, and Sonny stood in front of you, determined to stay slightly away from you. “What is it, Sonny?”

“First of all, what I’m about to tell you is illegal; we’ll have to fill out all the paperwork later. Second, I’m going to talk, and I want you to listen; it’s a lot of information to get through,” he said.

You weren’t sure what to make of his demeanor “Is everything okay? You’re scaring me, babe.”

“It will be, just…just listen.” He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “I lied about the UC; I wasn’t undercover the past three months.”

“What?!” you yelled in confusion; why did he lie? What was he hiding?”

“Please, let me explain; I spent the past three months in a cabin upstate, alone. I…I wanted to sit and really think about our relationship, about what I feel for you. And I—I love you. I love you so much more than I could ever say. You’re the one I want to spend eternity with. I’ve—I’ve never felt like this with anyone before; sure, I’ve had past lovers over the years, but nothing compared to you. I love you, everything about you, your spirit, your intellect, all of it,” he concluded.

You blinked at him. Was he…proposing? After lying about where he was? “Why lie, Sonny? I would’ve understood if you needed some time.”

“Because I—I wanted to make sure I was alone; I’m not done.” He took yet another deep breath, his piercing blue eyes locking to yours. “I wanted to make sure I could tell you this, without the fear of a…scene.” You rose an eyebrow, and he softly said, “I’m not human, doll. I’m a vampire.”

You blinked at him. “A vampire? Like Dracula or—”

“Oh, Dracula is a bunch of crap; a fictional story written by a human. I’m a real vampire; I have fangs, drink blood to survive, live forever unless I’m killed—”

“I don’t see how this is different than Dracula yet,” you replied, stifling a chuckle.

Sonny’s eyes narrowed as he looked at you. “I’m being serious, here! It’s also highly illegal for me to tell you all of this, since you’re a human.”

“Uh huh. A vampire, you say…” you trailed off, thinking. It did make a lot of sense, with how he didn’t eat or drink often, and why he tended to stay out of the sun. But he still went out and about in daylight, and besides, monsters weren’t real.

He rolled his eyes, then opened his mouth. Your eyes widened as his incisors seemed to grow an extra inch, becoming fangs.

“H—how’d you do that?” you whispered in shock.

Slowly, they retracted to normal size again. “I need them to puncture skin to get to the veins,” he explained.

“You really are a vampire, aren’t you?” you asked, voice hushed.

He nodded. “I am; all those manuscripts I’ve ‘found’? I was around when they were written; that’s why I know history so well, doll. It’s also why I haven’t wanted to move in. I didn’t want you to see that I don’t really eat, at least not human food…. It’s also why we haven’t had sex.”

“Because we’d make some sort of abomination if I got pregnant?” you joked.

Sonny’s eyes widened. “What? No, I can’t have biological kids. But I—I can’t get, um…hard, not unless I feed…. Need the blood and all….”

“Oh…oh! So, it’s not me?” Somehow, this was a relief.

He chuckled in disbelief. “No, it’s not you. I told you, I’ve wanted to have sex with you. I just didn’t think I could go ‘let me feed really quick then come back’.”

You laughed, and he looked at you like you’ve gone crazy. “Well, if that’s all, come here.” You patted the couch next to you, and he seemed skeptical, like this was somehow a trick.

Sonny came around the table to sit on the couch next to you, but he still left space between you, as if touching you would hurt you in some way. “You’re taking this surprisingly well,” he muttered.

You shifted to face him, and you reached out for his hand. He didn’t pull away when you took one of his hands between both of yours. “Dominick, I love you, no matter what you are, human or vampire, or whatever. I only love you.”

“But—but I’m a monster—”

“No, you’re not. You’re my sweet, loving boyfriend. I know you, Dom; I know your morals, your heart. We can talk about what all this means for us tomorrow. Right now, I want you,” you replied.

His eyes widened, and you were sure he’d be blushing if he could—could vampires blush? Gently, you leaned in, pressing your lips to his. He seemed stunned, frozen in shock, and you pulled away. His eyes searched your face for a moment before he was on you, lips colliding with yours almost painfully.

The kiss quickly deepened, his tongue easily forcing its way into your mouth. He pushed you down on the couch, kissing you for so long, you thought your lungs would surely shrivel up. Then he was picking you up, carrying you as if your weighed nothing, heading for your bedroom.

Sonny gently laid you on the bed before he ripped—literally tore—his shirt off himself. He climbed over your body, his lips coming back to yours. You scratched at his back, grinding against his thigh as his lips dominated yours.

His mouth trailed down your jaw, nipping as he went. “Pl—please tell me you’ve fed recently. I n—need you, Dominick,” you whined.

“I did, but not enough for this—I never thought this would go so well,” he replied, his voice husky. He pressed a kiss to your neck before leaning back to look at you. His normally blue eyes were a deep red, and it somehow made him more attractive. “If you want, I can go down on you, then go feed really quick and come back. It’ll be a few hours though; I have to leave the city to find animals.”

You moaned in frustration before a thought struck you. “Feed from me.”

“What?!” Sonny asked in shock.

You smiled softly at him. “Use me, Dominick. Drink from me.”

His eyes were almost completely black with his arousal, the red reduced to a bright ring on the outside of his pupils, and he swallowed hard. “I—I don’t think that’s safe, doll.”

“I trust you, it’ll be fine. Please, babe; I need you inside me, I want you, please.”

His breathing was coming in sharper as his arousal was taking over his rational mind. “And if I can’t stop? If I hurt you?”

“That’s a chance I’m willing to take. Because I love you, and you love me; I don’t believe you’ll hurt me. It’s okay, Dom.” To make your point, you propped yourself on an elbow, sweeping your hair off one side of your neck before laying back down.

Sonny didn’t notice that he leaned closer to you, only realized when his nose made contact with your throat. He sniffed at you, smelling your sweet blood just under your skin, and his mouth watered.

“That’s it, Dominick. Bite me, drink your fill,” you cooed.

“St—stop tempting me,” he groaned, voice full of arousal. He pressed kisses to your throat before he moved to nuzzle the crook of your neck. His tongue darted out, tasting your skin, and you sighed at the feeling.

“It’s fine; I give you permission. I trust you with my life,” you breathed.

Slowly, you reached up to grip his biceps, his arms caging your body. He sucked and kissed your neck, and you felt his lips move as his fangs grew. “Do you even know how hard it’s been to simply kiss your neck, when all I’ve wanted was to taste you?” he growled, his breath hot on your skin.

“Now’s your chance. Do it; drink.”

He grazed his teeth over your skin as he searched for your vein. “I’m so sorry,” he muttered before he sunk his fangs into you. You gasped in pain as he easily broke skin, your grip on his arms bruising a normal human. His fangs retracted, and he sucked at the incisions, drinking your blood. The magic in his saliva had you seeing stars; it was a mix of euphoria, pleasure, and pain all wrapped into one.

Sonny groaned the moment your blood touched his tongue. He had never tasted anything so delicious in his life. He could easily drink until your body was empty of blood…which is why he made sure to pay close attention to you, your heartbeat. But god, he could never get enough of you, your taste. He barely felt the blood entering his system; he was too distracted with the taste and with your heart. When your grip on his arms started to loosen, he used a great amount of restraint to detach from your neck.

He was panting as he leaned back, licking the blood from his lips. It was only then that he noticed how hard his cock was from just that small amount from you. It was true that he had fed recently, that he didn’t need much more, but he didn’t think that little would be enough.

You gave him a soft smile before you sat up, kissing him deeply. You could taste the coppery tang of blood on his tongue, but you didn’t care; you needed him, now. Sonny pushed you back down, then stood just long enough to undress the both of you before he was back on top of you.

“Are you sure—”

“Fuck me, Dominick, please,” you begged. He didn’t need to be told twice before he pushed into you fully. You moaned loudly at the feel of him inside you; his cock was long, curving to brush up against your g-spot perfectly.

“Ready for me, doll?” he asked softly, feeling your walls expand around him.

You gripped his shoulder, light-headed, though from the feel of him or the loss of blood, you weren’t quite sure. “I’ve been ready for you since the moment I met you, my love.”

His expression softened, and he kissed you deeply before he started to move. You could tell he was holding back, afraid to hurt you; he set a slow pace, thrusting deep into you. Your hands traveled down his back to cup his ass, pulling him deeper into you, and he grunted at the feeling.

“You—you feel so amazing. I love you, I love you so much,” he whispered before trailing his lips down to your throat. He sucked marks into you, and you gasped in pleasure; you had told him about your biting kink, something that you now found hilarious.

“S-same; feels so g—good. Fuck, Dom, move faster, please. You’re not going to hurt me,” you moaned.

He kissed your throat once more before he made his way to the two holes on the side of your neck, a drop of blood slowly dripping down your skin. His tongue flicked out, lapping at your blood, and the pace of his hips went up. He dipped his head down to the crook of your neck, kissing your injury, and you moaned again.

“D—Dominick—fuuuuck!—harder, please!” you gasped, trying to match his pace.

With a great force of will, he pulled his mouth from your neck, instead brushing your hair from the other side. He pressed his lips to your skin, kissing and sucking more marks into you.

You dragged one of your hands from behind him, wedging it between your bodies. You quickly found your clit, rubbing yourself as he fucked you into the mattress. Sonny opened his mouth, biting that side of your neck—without his fangs—and it was enough to send you over the edge. You cried out as you came, liquid gushing from you as pleasure washed through your body.

He propped himself up, looking at the mess you made, then smirked. Taking one of your legs, he threw it over his shoulder, sinking even deeper into you. You screamed his name in pleasure as he pounded into you.

“You got another one in ya, doll. Give it to me,” he growled. You brought your hand back to your clit, but he slapped it away, using his own fingers to rub you viciously. You squirmed as he assaulted your overstimulated clit, crying out at the feeling. You grabbed his wrist, but his arm was like stone; you couldn’t pull him away no matter what you did. You screamed as your orgasm crashed through you like a wave. But still, he didn’t stop.

“One more, doll. Be a good girl and cum for me again, I know you can,” Sonny cooed, his hips moving impossibly faster. His fingers were still playing with your clit, and you shuddered at the feeling. His hips hit yours so hard, you were slowly being pushed up the bed until his free hand gripped your hip, bring you down to meet him.

“Dom—Dominick—! Too much—gonna c—cum!” you warned. He doubled his efforts and you gasped as he pulled another orgasm from you. The hand that was rubbing you moved to your hips, and he jackhammered into you, chasing his release. His fingers gripped you hard enough to leave bruises, and you sure you wouldn’t be walking anytime soon.

He leaned down over you, the sound of skin slapping deafening in the room. And then he was groaning your name, his cock twitching as he exploded into you, filling you with his release. He kept thrusting, milking his balls into you, making you whimper. Then he collapsed on top of you, kissing your neck.

“Fucking hell, sweetheart. That was fantastic,” he muttered. It took him a moment, but he seemed to remember in that moment that you were human, and he climbed off you. “Holy shit, I’m sorry, are you okay? Was that too much?”

You chuckled, your body aching. But it was a good sore. “Fine, fine. Just a little tired—”

“Right, I’m sorry. It’s—it’s been a while. Here, let me clean you.” He stood, scooping you into his arms and carrying you to the bathroom. His hands were gentle as he washed you carefully, but you noticed his eyes going back to your neck often. Eventually, he had enough.

“I—I have to bandage that bite; the smell of your blood is intoxicating,” he explained before hurrying to your first aid kit.

While he was gone, you assessed the damage in the mirror. Your neck and throat looked like one huge bruise with how many marks he made. But the two puncture wounds on the side of your neck stood out like a sore thumb. All of this did nothing but turn you on more; you loved being bitten and marked by your partners.

“Was I your first?—human, that is. Uh, human blood?” you asked awkwardly.

Sonny came back quick enough with gauze and tape, and he set about cleaning and disinfecting the wound. “Um, no, you’re not. Definitely first time I’ve had fresh human blood in maybe a century. But you just…you taste like nothing I’ve ever had before. It’s, like I said, intoxicating. I swear I could drain you in an instant if I had a little less control.”

“Good thing you have control, then,” you said, chuckling softly.

He finished bandaging you and looked into your eyes. His were a brighter blue than you’d ever seen before, the red completely gone. “I had control this time, and even then, I should’ve been in full control. I shouldn’t have even bit you, should never have tasted your blood.”

“It’s fine—”

“It’s really not. Now, any time I’m hungry, I’m going to be thinking of you and how good you are. Which just means I’ll have to leave for my feedings earlier than before, to not wait until I’m so hungry,” he explained.

You rose a hand to cup his face, your thumb running over his soft skin. “I love you, Dominick, and I trust you. Now that I know what you are, you can do what you need to survive, without worrying about lying to me.”

He melted against you hand, closing his eyes briefly. “You’re right. Now that you know, I feel so much closer to you than before.”

“And tomorrow, we talk; I want to know everything about you, about your life and your world.”

He smiled softly. “Deal. Plus, we must start working on the paperwork; monsters are not allowed to reveal themselves to the human world. There’s a lot of hoops to jump through—”

“Tomorrow. Right now, I just want you to hold me as we sleep, okay?” you asked, hopeful.

His smile grew and he helped you stand. “I will hold you for as long as you want or need.”

#sonny carisi x reader #fanfic #my writing #dark secrets #monster!au #adarafaelbarbaseptemberbingo #tw blood

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lokigodofaces · 3 years

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Y’all I had this dream where for some reason at the end of Loki Variant!Loki decided he had to save Main!Loki. It was because Loki was the only one that could save the main universe from something along the road, but it would get messy for some reason if Variant!Loki came to deal with it. So V!Loki decided to save M!Loki from dying at the hands of Thanos, but he had to do it in a way that would work seemlessly and not make too big of a time mess.

So V!Loki studied the events leading up to M!Loki’s death and was trying to figure out what to do when Mobius said that if M!Loki didn’t die it would cause all these problems because then Infinity War and Endgame wouldn’t play out right. Basically, things would go differently if Loki was there with Thor. So now V!Loki has to figure this out because he has to make sure IW and EG go about the same while saving M!Loki.

So V!Loki decides to take M!Loki’s place. Sometime in between the destruction of Asgard and Thanos’ attack on the Statesman, V!Loki swaps M!Loki out for himself. Logically, I think a good place would be right before/after the scene where Thor and Loki see each other for the first time on the Statesman, and Loki shows that he is actually there and it isn’t an illusion. But that wasn’t included in my dream, that’s just me now thinking that would be a good time to make the switcheroo.

So V!Loki kidnaps M!Loki and takes M!Loki’s place, and is killed by Thanos while keeping a stunning act up. No one thought he wasn’t the right Loki. Which is perfect. Obviously, V!Loki had to do something about M!Loki. Otherwise, M!Loki would go to Earth or wherever either during IW or after IW but before EG (depends travel time), which would change events. And V!Loki has a plan to keep M!Loki out of trouble until it is safe for him to come out. He has to take M!Loki off of the Statesman because otherwise M!Loki could die in the Power Stone incited explosion in IW.

So V!Loki uses magic to knock out M!Loki who is not expecting to be attacked magically at all. Plus, V!Loki uses a type of magic that the Lokis are vulnerable to (I’m sorry, my dream did not explain magic lore lol) so M!Loki was basically screwed. V!Loki also put a spell on M!Loki that stopped him from using magic, just in case. So V!Loki is about to drag M!Loki off of the Statesman and to Chronyca. But then Hulk wanted to talk to Loki so V!Loki has to shove M!Loki into a space closet (that for some reason looked like the closet in Tangled? Just more futuristic and different colors.) Hulk was nice and said he didn’t want to smash Loki which was actually pretty sweet and V!Loki was thanking anyone that was listening because he’s from 2012 and had just barely been Hulk smashed.

Hulk leaves, but M!Loki wakes up and is opening the closet door (I’m just realizing now that he was really now out for long). So V!Loki shapeshifts into some other form (he looked like an old man, kind of like Dick van Dyke in Night at the Museum) because it would be a little problematic if M!Loki knew he was being kidnapped by himself. M!Loki knew that he couldn’t use his magic, and he knew that he was kinda screwed, but he wasn’t going down without a fight. He tried to manipulate V!Loki into a position that would give M!Loki an advantage, but he didn’t realize he was literally trying to manipulate himself. Which didn’t work out so well for him. Anyway, after a little knife skirmish and failed attempt to get help, M!Loki is once again knocked out by V!Loki.

V!Loki skedaddles out of there, unconscious M!Loki in tow. V!Loki does more magic every once in a while to keep M!Loki asleep because dude just burns through magic sedation apparently. So V!Loki is stuck looking like Dick van Dyke, just in case M!Loki wakes up and sees him. At this point M!Loki is restrained because you can’t just not restrain him if you are kidnapping him. He isn’t an idiot, he’s ready to fight his kidnapper, and even if he could just mess with a couple buttons he could sabotage the ship. Better safe than sorry. After a while, V!Loki gets tired of constantly magically sedating M!Loki. He’s tied up, can’t do magic, and V!Loki has the advantage because M!Loki doesn’t know it’s another version of himself that is kidnapping himself. So he’s not too worried about M!Loki being awake while tied up (and blindfolded? He might have been though I’m not sure anymore). So M!Loki tries to get information off of his kidnapper but V!Loki just says that he needs M!Loki’s help with something, which isn’t actually a lie, he does need help with, oh, you know, saving the universe. So M!Loki is freaking out because nothing has happened like this since Thanos. He knows that unless something big changes he isn’t going to be able to escape and if this guy needs his help, he could be willing to torture him for it. He’s already kidnapped him and disabled Loki’s magic, who knows what else will happen. M!Loki says something about Thor because M!Loki had already established that he was sticking around, and now he’s gone. So he’s hoping that Thor won’t just think M!Loki ran off or whatever and will actually be concerned and know there’s a problem, but he’s honestly not so sure about that. And then V!Loki says that won’t be a problem, meaning that he can just use time travel to go back to the second after he leaves, so it’ll be like he never left. M!Loki takes this to mean that something happened to the remaining Asgardians and is worried about that. So now he’s freaking out over what he thinks happened to Thor and what he thinks will happen to him.

And M!Loki is pretty good and concealing his emotions and makes it look like he’s just a little fidgety because he’s tied up, but V!Loki sees the signs because he too would do something similar in that situation. So he’s feeling bad because this alternate future version of himself is on the brink of a panic attack and he is 99% this has something to do with Thanos, one of the experiences the two Lokis share, so he knows what M!Loki must be feeling. But V!Loki knows this is necessary so he deals with it.

So they get to Chronyca. Chronyca is home of the chronicons, a race that observes and studies other races but never interferes, unless it is to prevent an extinction level threat (we see them in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.). So the chronicons are pretty suspicious about this random Dick van Dyke dude that shows up. V!Loki leaves M!Loki tied up in the ship and goes to the chronicons and turns back into V!Loki and has some TVA device that shows them what will happen if M!Loki dies and explains his plan to the chronicons. Seeing as this is preventing an extinction level threat of many peoples, the chronicons agree to help.

V!Loki shapeshifts back to Dick van Dyke lookalike and goes onto the ship where M!Loki is (I’m pretty sure M!Loki was blindfolded now, but V!Loki still is shapeshifted in front of him just in case) and tells M!Loki something along the lines of everything being alright, and that M!Loki doesn’t have to panic. Well, as you can imagine, M!Loki doesn’t take this well. How would you react if you were kidnapped and your kidnapper said that it would be okay and that you don’t need to panic? Thinking that he’s going to go through a Thanos-like experience again, he promises that he’ll fight back and won’t be compliant. V!Loki says that he respects that and that M!Loki better tell anyone else that kidnaps him in the future the same thing. V!Loki knows about Thanos and still isn’t sure how he’d react in a similar situation because it had just barely happened to him whereas M!Loki has had years to sorta recover. V!Loki knocks M!Loki out to get him off the ship, but figures that M!Loki will wake up one more time before the next stage of the plan is put into action.

The chronicons put M!Loki inside a chamber they use to send chronicons to distant planets they observe, which can double as a cryofreeze chamber (like in AoS). V!Loki takes the spell off M!Loki that stops him from using his powers. The chronicons strap M!Loki inside the chamber, tying him down, and V!Loki then enchants the straps to stop M!Loki from using magic. V!Loki waits until M!Loki wakes up, startled by the change of setting, no longer blindfolded. M!Loki is full on panicking now because this is the same position he was in when Thanos first tortured him, and V!Loki knows this and feels so bad that he is putting another version of himself through a panic attack. V!Loki uses magic to calm M!Loki’s mind and gives his final farewells. Tells him good luck, apologizes for this mess, and tells him that everything will be alright, and that the chronicons will keep him safe. Then he closes the chamber and turns the cryofreeze on, and in a few seconds M!Loki is in a coma.

The chronicons promise to keep M!Loki safe until it is safe for him to be awakened. They set a timer on the chamber for six or seven years, and when the timer runs out the chamber will turn off and M!Loki will be awakened. It is possible that M!Loki will be snapped away by Thanos, but as long as they keep the chamber in the same position it was in whenn M!Loki was snapped, he would return there in five years and everything would be fine. The plan was to drop M!Loki off somewhere away from Chronyca with resources (food, water, ship, fuel) to get somewhere else. There would be a few chronicons to make sure everything went well and that he gets out safely. And if M!Loki does spot them, they’d tell him that in order to prevent extinctions they would at times interfere, and that a time travelling friend told them of a threat only Loki could stop, but he couldn’t stop if he was killed by Thanos. So the time traveler took Loki’s place to save him from Thanos and save the universe.

And then he has to learn about IW and EG and he feels bad that he couldn’t do more but it wasn’t his fault and he feels bad that someone died for him but it wasn’t like he was given a choice. So then he has to go find Thor because he doesn’t think anyone else could possibly believe him (even with a message from V!Loki in the van Dyke disguise explaining the plan) and that’s how Loki ends up in Love and Thunder.

Like, absolutely crazy plot going on here, and I doubt it would ever happen in the MCU, but it would be cool.

#loki series #loki #infinity war #endgame #loki variant #chronyca #chronicons #agents of shield #would be absolutely crazy #also best dream EVER #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #marvel

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secret-engima · 4 years

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Lunafreya Nox Fleuret DoTF Characterization Rant

OKAY, ME RANT RAMBLING ON LUNA’S CHARACTERIZATION IN DAWN OF THE FUTURE IS A GO.

This is … likely going to get messy, but I’ll try to keep it at least moderately coherent. Lemme start by saying that- for the most part- I did actually enjoy Luna’s chap. I’ve been enjoying the book (kinda-sorta-mostly, I really liked Aranea’s chap at least) and I don’t think it’s like- a BAD book? Necessarily? But I feel like it is extremely telling in regards to how the characterization/lore is treated that my brain is automatically filing this thing under “fanfic that’s not my HC but is okay-ish” rather than “canon I will be gleefully tweaking as I please”. My brain is literally looking at this officially licensed book and equating it to fanfic. To fanfic that NEEDS EDITING.

With that out of the way, lemme attempt to summarize my (main) issues with Luna’s Characterization and then I’ll expand on them from there. Get ready for the salt.

1. Luna’s backstory is inconsistent. She herself states multiple times that Oracle training is grueling and involves both physical and mental trials as well as things like fasting for long periods of time WHILE doing said training, yet she is mostly treated like a well-meaning but overall pampered, naive princess who is only now being forced into hard circumstances and has to adapt accordingly. She is also treated like she doesn’t know “common people” that well and doesn’t know how to interact or pick up things like lies (????). A common example is how she treats Sol as trustworthy but reserved when according to Sol’s POV she is literally debating shooting Luna as a possible threat. And Luna supposedly doesn’t pick up on this danger. But we’ll get back to that.

2. Luna is characterized as being oblivious to how people outside Rich Oracle Circles live. That despite traveling all over the world she has never really seen it’s “ugly” sides because she’s always traveled in fancy guarded processions with the sick brought to her. Pretty sure the book specifically mentions at one point that she’s never “considered” what it would be like to be anything other than an Oracle. Admittedly this issue could go under number 1 or 3a but I’m putting it here because I’m salty.

3a. This and the next problem are heavily intertwined and, not going to lie, I could make an entire rant just about these two issues all by themselves, not just in Luna’s context. The first is that Luna is portrayed as not being able to make her own decisions, not even wanting to make her own decisions, until she is forced to or has her “eyes opened” by Sol, our jaded Long Night survivor character. The author treats Luna’s sense of duty as some form of social brainwashing she needs to “get over” and spoiler alert I hate it with every fiber of my being.

3b. Playing right off the whole “Luna is incapable of making her own decisions and that’s why she does her freaking job until someone ‘opens her eyes’” is the idea that Luna’s faith is a character flaw. Lemme reiterate. The story treats Luna’s faith. As a character flaw. Rather than the entire cornerstone to her character and one of the big reasons she’s as amazing as she is. Her faith is treated as foolish and shortsighted, something that has only survived for this long because it has never been challenged and, heads up, the rant I am going to go into on this one specific thing is going to be long and extremely salty.

Alright I think I’ve covered the basics. Starting from the top, BRING ON THE SALT.

…

1. Luna is pampered, well-meaning but naive and bad at reading ulterior motives of people.

….*slow, deep breath* Luna. The Oracle. Who became the youngest Oracle in history. Because her mother was murdered in front of her while her home was burned down and conquered by the people who then proceeded to rule her country, subvert her brother to their cause, and generally control and monitor every aspect of her life that they could. Luna, who was fully prepared to take a single suitcase and escape her own home and run off alone to get to Altissia and had to be stopped by her own brother (who you’ll note brought a bunch of soldiers with him, which indicates he did not expect a submissive response if he came alone).

This girl who was canonically physically abused as a child by a Niflheim officer (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZHzBtIfpdg slow this down if you need to confirm, but she is grabbed and manhandled and hit by an adult man when she only looks to be twelve, around the age Tenebrae first fell), who has spent twelve years living under the rule of a nation that is not only aggressively atheist but has willfully attempted to kill one of the very beings she serves and openly plans to do so again. The woman who successfully survived the fall of Insomnia with only one magic-less glaive as her backup for most of the event, then evaded the search efforts of an entire empire with only her own wits, a dog, a Messenger who has only ever been shown to talk rather than fight, and the extremely grudging on-off help of her brother who works for said empire. All while waking up the Astrals and forging covenants that were slowly killing her from the strain, which is the exact thing the empire was trying to prevent her from doing. Then, when it became necessary to complete the last covenant, turned herself in to the very same empire that has imprisoned her since she was a child and has been actively hunting/trying to stop or kill her since Insomnia’s fall.

That girl. Is pampered. Is naive. Is bad at reading people and telling when they have ulterior motives or are lying.

Pull the other one. I’ll kick you.

But seriously, how are we supposed to believe this? Luna’s life post Tenebrae’s fall to Niflheim is only pampered in the sense that she was given fancy clothes and fed regularly (outside the grueling fasting periods mentioned in this same book). She had no freedom, no privacy, her guards were all either men who wore the same uniform as those who killed her mother or were monsters infected with the very scourge she is sworn to purify. The Oracle is famous, is revered by the people. To keep the people on their side, the Empire would have flaunted her, would have taken her to all the shiny events. Luna would have had to dine with, converse with, even dance with the very same people who ordered and condoned the murder of her mother, her own imprisonment, and the brainwashing of her own brother to the enemy side. She would have been the epitome of a bird in a gilded cage or a dog on a silk leash and humans are not meant to live like that.

Am I really expected to think she survived a situation that oppressive, that toxic, that actively hurtful, for years by being naive and bad at reading people? Am I really expected to believe that she cannot tell when people are out to use her or hurt her or are lying to her? Am I really expected to believe that she is pampered and doesn’t have, at the very least, PTSD from seeing her mother murdered and her brother join the very people who did it, let alone everything else that would have followed over those years?

Really?

Luna didn’t have a pampered life. She suffered abuse. Longterm emotional abuse, likely sporadic physical abuse until she learned to play along well enough to escape such punishments, and almost certainly gaslighting (again: religious leader being held captive by an aggressively atheist nation that wants to kill the pantheon this religious leader communes with).

Luna would have learned to navigate the canonically cutthroat politics of Niflheim while being at best an outsider and at worst a target because of her beliefs, her nationality, and her loyalties to the Lucians (nobody was surprised when Luna went on the run. Nobody. Her continued devotion and loyalty to the Lucians -Niflheim’s enemy- was absolutely a well known factor). She would have learned to pick truth from lie and when to pretend she hadn’t noticed in order to survive. She would have lived twelve years knowing that any mistakes or misplaced moments of trust would be paid for in either her suffering of the suffering of the people close to her like her servants, or just the citizens of Tenebrae in general.

And none of this is taking into account her Oracle training, which the book does not elaborate on but repeatedly states was hard and grueling and she completed it years earlier than any Oracle in history.

There are a lot of words I would use to describe Luna, but pampered and naive are not among them.

…

2. Luna is oblivious to how people outside her rich circles live and has never considered being anything else but an Oracle until Sol specifically points it out.

The book states that she mostly travels in procession (ie, with tons of servants to serve her every need and bodyguards to keep the masses at bay) so clearly she can’t go anywhere too dangerous, otherwise her servants wouldn’t be able to come. Right? Oh boy where do I start with this.

I know! Let’s start with the fact that Luna canonically maintains the blessings on Havens! You know those things. They’re your only safe place to camp at night and they can be found in all sorts of nifty locations like the middle of the wilderness where cars can’t go, chocobos won’t go, packs of wild animals will literally leap out of the bushes to eat you (Voretooth packs can get up to twelve or more members all trying to eat you at once, fun fact), and poor choice in clothes will lead to broken ankles at best? The ones that can be found in the depths of locations so dangerous that even the Hunters are leary of going inside and are actively forbidden from approaching unless they are a very high rank?

Off the top of my head some of the Havens that come to mind is the one in the middle of Malmalam thicket, the top of an active volcano, multiple spots in the middle of the voretooth and coeurl infested desert, two up in Vesperpool aka the home of all demon crocodiles and flocks of cockatrice that are bigger than the average car and can literally turn you into stone if you aren’t careful.

Yeah those places. She maintains those. Depending on how often Havens need to be maintained and if the weather/nature shortens that time then she might also have to periodically enter the dungeons Noctis explores in game that also have Havens hidden inside where it is always dark all the time and infested with daemons.

The book also states that the sick (who are highly infectious and not supposed to be touched by people who can’t heal the scourge and in the later stages of sickness become extremely violent and prone to biting in order to infect other people) are … brought to her…

By whom? Exactly?

Moving on from that giant and obvious plot hole to the “never seen or considered other lifestyles” bit: Luna has traveled literally all over the world. In her duties of healing the otherwise incurable she has gone all over Niflheim, Tenebrae, and Lucis. She has walked through the streets of cities filled with lights and glamor and stood on the dirt roads of towns so small they have to go to the next town an hour or more away to buy groceries or check their mailbox and who’s royal hotel suite is just a caravan with a new coat of paint and “welcome Oracle!” sign. Luna’s work is to cure the Starscourge, which is a disease that I can almost promise the rich don’t get. Because the rich and fancy do not risk their lives by going into daemon territory (Prompto, a middle class Insomnian, didn’t even know what wild animals would be like, you expect the rich and famous to be any better?).

The vast majority of Luna’s patients would be people like Dave the Hunter, or Sania the scientist who wades into the wilds. The truck drivers and the farmers and the electricians risking their lives to repair power lines in the middle of nowhere. She wouldn’t be going to cities except to talk to the refugees who fled there from the outside and thus picked up the Scourge. Her only two social circles would be Niflheim’s cutthroat nobility and the “unwashed masses” who come to her for healing. Guess which ones she’ll be more invested in getting to know on a personal/friendly basis and interacting with.

Of course Luna has interacted with and understands “common folk”. Luna is a caregiver, not just physically, but emotionally. She is beloved by the people because she is kind. That means she talks to them. More importantly, she listens. She has held the hands of the farmer as he begs her to heal him, because the harvest season is so close, and if he can’t work, if he dies, then what will become of his wife or the people his farm feeds? She has embraced the sobbing refugee mother as the other breaks down in gratitude for a child who’s skin is a healthy shade and who’s veins no longer bulge a sickly purple. She has met people who are not rich, but who are content. Who have lives that do not hinge on the razor thin dance of staying true to self and not exposing weakness to those who want to eat her alive. Who can laugh with their neighbors and kiss that nice boy down the street just for the fun of it, who can defy curfew to dance in the rain with the person they love and risk, at most, a lecture and a weekend grounding.

And no, they aren’t rich, no, they aren’t influential or powerful, but they are peaceful. They are happy.

Am I really expected to believe that Luna has not looked on these people’s lives from afar, listened to their rambles as they try to distract themselves from the sickness she is drawing from their veins, and not yearned to be the same? That she hasn’t thought over and over again about running away and being free from her gilded cage? That she doesn’t know anything about the lives of the people she heals even as she walks down their streets and steps into their houses so she can heal those who are too sick or too violent to be safely taken out of their room? That she has never thought about what life could be like if she wasn’t an Oracle as she watches the landscape roll by and walks through the wilderness to find the lonely farmsteads that the townsfolk tell her has sick children that cannot be let out of the shed for fear they will bite?

Setting all of that to one side, what human hasn’t thought of being someone else? What person on this planet, hasn’t looked at another person’s life that is so very different from their own and gone “huh, I wonder what that would be like” even if only for a moment before moving on and forgetting about it? Humans are creatures that dream by nature, that are curious by nature. To assume that Luna is not just because she gets to have the fancy dresses and servants is stupid.

…

3a: Luna is unable to make her own decisions and is only the dutiful Oracle because she doesn’t know any better and needs a “wiser” rebellious character to “open her eyes”.

Okay buckle up. I have tried to suppress the salt until now but over these last two points I don’t care. I will be salty. I will be sarcastic. I will be mean. I will reference Real World faiths (tho I’ll try to keep that to a minimum).

Both 3a and 3b are actually systemic issues in storytelling (particularly noticeable in movies/shows but maybe that’s because I’m pretty lucky with my book choices) that I despise with a passion. Specifically 3a relates to the chronic issue writers seem to have with characters not being allowed to be happy with their role in life. There’s this persistent thought, this narrative push, that if a character is following in the footsteps of their family, is entering the “traditional” profession that their parents (or grandparents, or entire generations of predecessors) have been in before them then they must be unhappy with their lot in life. That this is clearly the character being “repressed” and that if they are content then they are either a bad guy (see: every antagonist from a proud military family or every ruler who thinks they are better than everyone because of bloodline ever) or they are just blind to their own unhappiness.

Now, the basic idea of “character discovers they are unhappy in current role and seeks a new one” can actually be done really well. But those stories that do it well have a lot of internal conflict, a lot of self-reflection and searching and choosing to take a new path after really giving it some thought. Maybe they have help along the way, or encouragement, or another character to show that it’s possible by example and that’s okay.

What is not okay is infantilizing a strong, intelligent character by saying “oh it just never occurred to them until they are told that they are unhappy by this much more worldly wise character and then they went and did it”. That is not okay. It not only trivializes the efforts of every real person who has proudly followed in a parent’s footsteps to become something (a doctor, a missionary, a soldier, an actor, even an electrician, pick a life goal and I promise someone has been inspired to do that by their parent being one before them) but it also takes an otherwise strong, dedicated character and implies that they are too stupid to think for themselves or have any free will until the plot and a Shinier Character demands it.

Lunafreya Nox Fleuret is an Oracle, as her mother was before her, and her mother before her, and all the way back two thousand years to the very first Oracle we see in canon. Possibly back even farther, depending on if any of Aera’s ancestors were Oracles too. That isn’t a suffocating tradition, that is a heritage, that is a culture, that is a necessary, life-saving service that canon proves literally kept the world from falling into eternal darkness (Luna was the last Oracle, the day after she dies is literally the last time we players see sunlight until the end of the game when Noctis dies to restore it). Luna is not stupid or repressed for following in those footsteps, she is breathtakingly strong for shouldering her heritage as the Last Oracle with pride even when the forces controlling every other aspect of her life want her to be ashamed of it and give it up.

The empire that took over her home when she was twelve are actively anti-magic and anti-Astral. Luna is someone who speaks to the Astrals and is born with a magic that can heal the very sickness they want to weaponize. They couldn’t outright forbid her from training to be the next Oracle because that would cause the people to riot, but they could and absolutely would try to make her give up in any way they could. They would have insulted her, demeaned her, hurt her, and imprisoned her. They wouldn’t have wanted a “real” Oracle, they would have wanted a puppet who said pretty promises and then did nothing to stop them.

It would have been so easy for Luna to go down the same path her brother did. To give in to the empire and it’s propaganda that she would have been forced to listen to every single day of her life for twelve whole years. It would have made her life so much easier to be a puppet Oracle who didn’t have to walk miles through the wilderness to maintain Havens, or defy the empire by maintaining loyalty to Lucis, or leave her manor home to heal the sick that could not come to her themselves. As a puppet Oracle she could have stayed in the Manor and only treated cases that could reach her doors and were vetted by the empire. She could have eaten the finest foods and worn the best dresses and never had to worry about a pack of hungry Voretooths or a rogue Behemoth tearing her apart. Most of all, Niflheim wouldn’t have been nearly as oppressive or violent. They would have gladly given her the illusion of freedom and control as long as she played along rather than been fully willing and prepared to run into the jungle with a suitcase just to escape as seen in the movie.

Luna was not blindly fitting into a mold and she was not and has never been incapable of making a decision. The fact that she shows up in canon as a strong, dedicated woman who is in control of her emotions and not afraid to face down a giant sea monster with the power to summon tidal waves with just her words and a glorified pointy stick proves that. The idea that she needs a “wiser” character to come alongside her and “free her” from her own duties is not only stupid, it undermines one of the key things that makes Luna such a strong character despite her relative lack of screentime.

Furthermore, canonically, one of Luna’s main reasons for sticking with her duty as Oracle isn’t because it’s tradition, it’s because of what Niflheim did. In the Kingsglaive movie, when Nyx Ulric is getting angry at Luna for doing really reckless, life-threatening things, she tells him quote:

“I do not fear death. What I fear is doing nothing and losing everything.”

That’s not a woman who is blindly following a path laid out for her. That is a woman who is desperately, furiously fighting against the people who killed her mother in front of her the best way she can: by being the Oracle they cannot stand for her to be.

But sure. Luna is only the Oracle because she doesn’t know better and it never occurred to her to be anything else until some jaded kid with a shotgun made a snide comment about it.

3b: Luna’s faith is a character flaw that has only survived this long because it wasn’t challenged by a worldly wise character who knows better.

Not going to lie but words cannot express how much I hate this trope. This is another thing that shows up a lot in television/movies but also in books too, and that is that a character is not allowed to have a faith in something/religion unless they are 1. Foolish, 2. Brainwashed/tricked into it, 3. A crazy fanatic, or 4. It’s a character flaw they have to overcome by becoming more jaded and atheist and hateful.

Because … that’s not how it works. There are- millions (billions) of people all over the real world who are intelligent, well educated, thoughtful, kind, and religious. And no I’m not just talking about Christianity (tho I am Christian so you can see why this trope grinds my gears so hard). There’s Hinduism, there’s Islam, there’s Buddhism, there’s Judaism, there’s so many faiths and belief systems okay. And no we don’t tend to play well with each other or accept the validity of the others but that doesn’t mean we’re fanatics or brainwashed or stupid. And no we really don’t appreciate it when media introduces a character who follows a religion (even fictional ones!) only to make them an antagonist or rip it away from them in the name of “improving their character”. Just like every other cultural group ever who really doesn’t like their heritage and culture being used as a butt of jokes or is turned into a caricature or used as the basis for the antagonist being Evil™.

But no. We can’t possibly have a character who’s faith makes them strong or gives them comfort in times of hardship unless they are deluded. We can’t possibly have a character who is both intelligent and faithful. We can’t possibly show a character who is breathtakingly courageous and selfless as well as religious unless we point at their faith and go oh look a horrible character flaw to overcome by having non-believer characters open their eyes via sarcastic commentary.

And look. Look. I am well aware that the plot of Dawn of the Future has Bahamut as the Bad Guy™. I am fully aware of that. But if you want to be purely honest and technical, that doesn’t invalidate Luna’s faith because (spoilers) the other Astrals fight Bahamut to save the world. They hear her cries and the come to fight on behalf of Lucis and Noctis and all of Eos and they kill Bahamut even when that ensures their own destruction.

But we’re not actually here to talk about whether the Astrals deserve Luna’s faith in them, we’re here to talk about why insisting Luna’s faith is, by nature of being a faith, treated like a flaw and why it is treated like something so weak it only survived to this point because Luna didn’t face anything “bad” enough to “snap her out of it”.

Spoiler alert, it’s not a flaw and it’s not weak.

Going back to something I have mentioned several times already: Niflheim is an empire run by people who actively want to kill the very beings most of the planetary population worships. The very same people in charge of Luna’s life for twelve years, starting from when she was twelve and very emotionally vulnerable and traumatized, hate the Astrals. I repeat: They hate the Astrals. They have devised weapons to try (and spectacularly fail) to kill them. Half their continent is a winter nightmare-land because they tried to kill Shiva the Glacian and she went “haha, nice try, lemme leave a fake corpse here that constantly pumps out freezing temperatures and blizzards”.

Am I seriously, honestly, supposed to believe that these people didn’t try to tear down her faith at every single opportunity? That Ravus wouldn’t have tried to bully and cajole and harass her into abandoning her faith because he knew that her faith was what kept her walking her chosen path as Oracle and that said path was destined to kill her? Am I seriously supposed to believe that Luna didn’t spend those twelve years having to sit there and bite her tongue to keep from raging at these cutthroat nobles as they gloated and sneered and spat on the names of the Astrals who gave Luna the very magic she uses to heal those in need?

Luna never needed Sol to come along and say “what have the Astrals ever done for you?” because I promise that she’s heard some variation of that exact phrase from everyone in her life. From her own brother to the Emperor himself she has heard some form of this question, this taunt. In the Kingsglaive movie, General Glauca even says something to the order of, “To what god do you pray? The gods do not listen.” Right before he kidnaps her.

Luna’s faith isn’t something blind, and it is not a flaw. It is a cornerstone of her character. Luna’s faith is a bloody, stubborn, tenacious thing that she has nurtured and shored up and been steadied by through twelve years of emotional abuse and physical imprisonment. Luna’s faith is an unshakeable thing that can only come from long nights spent crying into the silent dark of the room and asking “is this real? Am I right? Should I give up? This hurts so much, what do I do?” and finding the answer to be “yes this is real. Yes I am right. No, I won’t give up even though it kills me. Yes it hurts, but what I believe in is stronger than this pain.”

Faith is not optimism and it is not fanaticism. Optimism can be broken by hardship and fanaticism has no room for selfless kindness or acceptance of other people not being as devoted as they are. Faith is personal. Faith is a bedrock, and maybe it’s a bedrock that makes no sense to people on the outside, but it is a bedrock and it can make mountains move.

Just as Luna proves when she runs rings around an Empire to win the respect and cooperation of Titan and of Ramuh, to stand amid the rain and tell an enraged TideMother that “it is in mercy that men offer praise, and in shedding grace that the gods solicit worship” and not flinch because she knows she is right.

Luna’s faith is a fierce, scarred thing that has taken every kind of suppression and propaganda and poison the empire could throw at it and kept on going.

Furthermore. Luna’s faith is treated by Sol as something empty. Because when did the Astrals ever help her or comfort her or save her?

I can answer that. They helped her when they gave her Umbra and Pryna, who kept her company through her life and gave her a way to talk to Noctis. A way to reach out to a person who was not either imperial, warped by imperial propaganda, or too afraid to speak out against the empire for fear of dying. They comforted her when Gentiana became a second mother for Luna after the death of Queen Sylva. A physical shoulder to cry on, a sounding board to bounce fears off of, a well of advice when it was asked of her, a rock to retreat to when Ravus turned away from her and the empire continued to control as much of her life as they could.

Gentiana, who is really Shiva in disguise, has been with Luna since she was a small child.

One of the Astrals themselves has been with Luna for almost her entire life. Has guided her, has comforted her, has led her to safety as she fled Insomnia’s ruins.

Shiva had no reason to do that. The Oracles have done their duty since the time of Aera without her help or company. Shiva didn’t have to stay. She didn’t have to linger and offer comfort and become Luna’s friend. She didn’t have to listen to the last words of a scared young woman who wanted only to see her fiancé one last time and promise to carry them to Noctis in the event of her death. Shiva didn’t have to cry on behalf of Luna. Shiva didn’t have to help Luna remember what it was like to be an ordinary woman (“Yet others need not hide their grief. Is she [Luna] so different from them?”), and in fact, if Shiva had played up to most of the stereotypes, she would have done the opposite and done her hardest to suppress any part of Luna’s personality that wasn’t her Oracle duties.

But she did. Shiva was there, and she remembered. Shiva loved and we as a fandom may yell at the Astrals a lot for not doing more to take care of the Starscourge, but of all of them Shiva gave the most because she came down and she lived, and walked, and loved this Oracle, this scared child, this frightened, weary woman who couldn’t even turn to her own family for comfort. Shiva’s husband Ifrit was betrayed by humankind and yet Shiva still defended them, she kills Ifrit to protect the man (the king) that Luna loved.

And at the end of the game, in those final moments outside the Citadel, when it’s just Noctis and his Retinue against all of Ardyn’s armies of daemons, when Luna calls out to these Astrals whom she has remained faithful to her entire life, even unto her death…

They answer.

Every. Last. Astral. Who is not corrupted like Ifrit, comes down at her prayer and fights. Even Leviathan who’s only voiced lines are screaming wrath against the humanity that forgot her, even Bahamut who otherwise remains aloof in his plane of magic beyond the concerns of the mortal world. Luna calls, and they answer her.

“What have the Astrals ever done for her” indeed.

Luna’s faith is a driving force of her character, it is irrevocably intertwined with her duty, with her choices, with her desire to help people and save the world even if it costs her own life, and in the end her faith is rewarded. Not in the way we want for her, because we love the ultimate happy endings where everyone lives and nobody dies. But Final Fantasy XV was never a story about happy endings. It was a story about coming of age, and tragedy, and sacrifice. Of holding onto hope against all opposition, and of having faith that someday the dawn will return, even if bringing about that dawn requires personal sacrifice.

…

Okay this is over 5k words, I’m tired, and I’m extremely salty so I can’t really figure out how to wrap this up but there we go, my salty personal rant about why I think Dawn of the Future messed up some really critical parts of Luna’s characterization and why it’s Really Bad that they messed up those specific things.

Also I kinda despise them making Bahamut the bad guy in DotF because yes he’s a jerk and yes he really could have done the whole Prophecy thing a ton better, but in the original FFXV one of the things that made the game so heartbreakingly tragic to me is that most of the characters involved weren’t pure evil. They could be greedy, and flawed, and crazy, but in the end the source of the problem was too big to pin on one character.

Do you pin the entire thing on the god of war for his mistakes in trying to bring about peace, or the god of fire for trying to destroy humanity and no longer being there to do his job and purify the plague? Do you blame the Astrals for their hubris or humanity for theirs, because Ifrit loved humanity until they betrayed him so deeply he went mad? Do you hate Ardyn for causing the Long Night or pity him for being a victim of Somnus’s greed? Can you blame Somnus for everything even though the Scourge was going on long before him and kept spreading long after he sealed Ardyn away? The whole thing is a tragedy because at this point it’s a problem too big to fix without someone paying a price too heavy and we hate that because the characters who pay that price are the ones we grow to love over the game.

But that is an entirely different rant for an entirely different day when I am not so tired and my hands no longer hurt from writing this much in one sitting. Thank you and good night.

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chaseatinydream · 4 years

Text

sly san who sacrifices (v) || c.s (atz)

➳ pairing: reader x choi san (ateez)

➳ word count: 3849

➳ genre: badboy au; fluff; angst

➳ synopsis: to the school, he may be a bad boy, the worst of the worst, but to you, he’s choi san, father of three cats, your best friend and ultimately, the boy you’re in love with.

>>>

Phone in hand, you run for the club as fast as you can.

Your feet slap against the wet pavement, little ripples in the puddles of rain left in your wake as you rush towards your destination, eyes glued to the glowing screen of your phone, fixed firmly on that tiny blinking red dot. Your legs are burning from the expected strain of them, but you don’t let up till you’re at the main entrance of the building that San is at.

Neon strobe lights hurt your eyes and you can already hear the raucous timbre of the disco music being blasted inside, the sound reverberating out onto the street outside. You spot the to be party goers mingling behind the red rope, chattering excitedly and dressed to the nines in killer outfits that shine brighter than your future and probably cost more than your college education.

This is definitely not your scene.

Swallowing, you glance down at yourself… you hadn’t really been thinking straight when you’d left the house, you’re dressed in a simple pair of shorts and a tee, nothing too scrappy but definitely not anything suitable for a night out at a club. A groan leaves you and you stare at the daunting sight before you once again, chewing nervously at your bottom lip as you contemplate turning back… and maybe just confronting San another day…

But then you snap back to your senses and give yourself a little slap, because what if this is your last chance? What if after tonight, San tells you he doesn’t want to speak or see you anymore? As unrealistic as it sounds, as irrational as your fears are, if there’s even the slightest chance it could happen, you’re not taking it – Choi San is worth more than your pride.

So you gather your courage, square your shoulders, and march to the main entrance at very front of the line.

Instantly, the mindless chattering all around you falls silent, so silent you could hear a pin drop on the wet asphalt. Panic and just sheer awkwardness crawls over your introverted skin, you weren’t made for places like this! But you force your unease down and meet the bouncer in the eye, he’s a hulking mass of steely muscle with a glint in his eye that almost scares the shit out of you literally (and probably would have if you hadn’t remembered that you had a mission to accomplish here).

He looks you up and down with a dismissive eye, barely needing to incline his head, he’s so tall. Then he leans down the slightest bit to look you directly in the eye with a near frightening stare, muscles in his neck rippling. “The end of the queue is over there, little girl.”

You swallow involuntarily, a bead of sweat running down the back or your neck and sliding down your clothes, the weight of everyone’s gazes on your back is highly uncomfortable but you ignore it in favour of keeping your gaze even and your voice steady. “I’m here to find a friend.”

“I don’t care what your reason is, in case you didn’t hear me the first time, the back of the queue is there.” The bouncer enunciates more slowly for you this time, as if you’re the one who’s drunk. “I can’t let you in unless the queue is gone, kid. There are plenty of people who want to get into this club who’ve been out here waiting since dusk.”

Your fingers twist in the hem of your shirt from nerves as you desperately try to think of a way out, unsure of what else you could do to make the man let you in. Glancing back at the queue, you’re horrified to see that it stretches around three blocks and disappears down a street, further than your eye can see. Waiting isn’t a viable option, but you don’t really have another choice unless it’s…

You force a polite smile on your face to mask the sheer panic you feel and meet the bouncer in the eye; he does not look the least bit amused. “I’m looking for Choi San.” You manage to say without bumbling like a complete fool, but using San’s name does seem to have its intended effect.

The bouncer’s eyes widen imperceptibly in surprise, just enough for you to notice up close. Then his eyebrows pinch together and his mouth pulls downwards in an unamused scowl. “It’s impossible for a person like you to know Choi San. Don’t lie to me, kid.”

You dig the bracelet out of your pocket and shove it in his face, from the way his lips part with a little intake of breath you know he must have seen it before and part of you is… happy... that he recognises it, for some strange reason. “I’m here to return his bracelet to him and then I’ll get out of your hair. Now, are you going to let me in or not?”

You’re not used to being so confident and out there, but there’s a rush of adrenaline flowing through your veins right now from the anticipation. The bouncer’s eyes narrow and for a long moment, you hold his sharp gaze evenly, unwilling to back down till he lets you in.

He backs down first with a sigh, moving towards to the rope that holds the door closed, unhooking it and ushering you inside. Behind you, you can hear angry protests of the people standing in the line, but you ignore them in favour of stepping into the club, eager to get to where San is.

The bouncer grabs your wrist with a warning glare and you whirl around to stare at him in confusion. “If something happens to you in there, missy, it’s not on me. Don’t get into any trouble and get out as fast as you can.”

You grin at him. “Thanks.”

Then you duck inside before he can say anything else.

Immediately, all five of your senses are assaulted by loud noises and bright lights coming from every direction. Bright purple neon juxtaposed against cool black leaves your eyes reeling from the colour contrast, the smell of smoke, sweat and even more alcohol so heavy and thick in the air you can taste it on your tongue. Biting on your lower lip in an attempt to remain calm in the midst of a mass of sweaty, gyrating human bodies, you stand on tip toes and try to search the dark, flickering room for San.

It proves to be a near inhuman feat. Groaning, you pull out your phone and search the map once again, sure enough, your little blue dot has overlapped with San’s red one to form a blinking purple circle, indicating that he is indeed here at this club… but where is he?

“Hey, little missy. This doesn’t look like your scene.” A voice comes from behind you and you jerk in surprise, whirling around to see someone standing there against the wall, exuding such an air of casual confidence that you can’t help but be blown away by it. His hair is blond and tousled into waves, held away from his forehead by a black bandanna to show off beautiful, dark eyes that remind you of sweet, sweet danger. Every instinct goes on high alert instantly and you actually find yourself taking a step back to take him in, he’s dressed in an all black ensemble that’s simple and stylish at the same time.

He meets your eyes with a smirk that you, for some reason, don’t find sleazy and cocks his head to the side playfully, teasingly. “What are you doing here dressed like that, darling?”

You’re on guard around him, tense, and he can see it, he enjoys it. He hasn’t moved an inch but you feel like you’re the one who’s been backed into a corner like a trapped animal, dangerous tension sparking between the two of you as you meet each other’s eyes.

“I’m here for a friend.” You spit out, suddenly desperate to get away from this man that practically oozes danger and appeal all at once. There’s a look in his eye that makes unease bubble in the pit of your stomach and when he takes a step forward, you actually flinch, every muscle in your body getting ready to run.

“Oh? Where is he then?” The man continues stepping closer and closer, and you practically freeze on the spot when he comes within an arm’s length of you. You can feel his hot breath against your cheeks, smell the slight scent of cologne and smoke clinging to his warm skin, feel the heat radiating off him. You don’t even realise you’re moving backwards till you’re backed into the wall, so completely taken by the sheer intensity of his gaze.

He leans in close but never quite touches you, only letting his words brush your bare skin as one hand comes up beside your head, he’s too close for your liking, too seductive than what you can deal with. “Why don’t we leave this place, darling, just you and me– ”

You’re about to cut him off mid-sentence politely, saying that you really need to look for your friend, but he never gets a chance to finish his sentence.

“Get the hell away from her, Wooyoung!”

Your eyes fly open in surprise at the sound of that voice and in the next second, the man is ripped away from you violently and thrown against the wall to your side. Your hands fly over your mouth to prevent the shout of horror from escaping you, but the blond doesn’t seem the least bit fazed at the sight of your best friend pinning him to the wall by the neck.

“What the hell were you doing to her?” San snarls venomously, digging his forearm into the blond’s throat. The blond simply looks down at him with a cocky grin, completely unrepentant as he shrugs. “What does it matter to you?”

San’s face twists in fury at those words frighteningly quick, you feel every drop of blood drain from your face when he raises a fist–

“San!” You cry out, running to his side and yanking on his arm as hard as you can. You’ve never seen San like this, so dark and filled with rage that it almost scares you. “He wasn’t doing anything to me! Stop it!”

San hesitates, fingers clenching and unclenching as he considers your words, the impulsive white hot rage burning behind his eyes simmering ever so slightly. Then he rips his hand from the blond and storms out of the club, leaving the blond rubbing the bruises on his throat with an exaggerated sigh.

“I’m sorry!” You bow once quickly and turn around to chase after San before he can disappear before your eyes again.

The blond sighs at the mess around him and gestures for all the onlookers to get back to their business, making his way over to the bar counter and seating himself on one of the seats there. “Some ice please, Mr Bartender.” He fingers the bruise at his adam’s apple with curiosity, an amused smile tugging on his lips. “I haven’t seen San-ie this worked up since we got expelled from our old school. It’s rather fun to watch him, isn’t he?”

“You shouldn’t have provoked him like that, Wooyoung-ah.” A smooth baritone tells him dryly as he slides a mojito over to him with a disapproving frown. Wooyoung merely grins as he scoops out two ice cubes and holds them to his throat, feeling the cold numbing the ache there, but the adrenaline he feels rushing through his body right now makes it so worth it. “You knew who she was to San, don’t lie to me. It’s like you’re trying to get yourself killed.”

“If I hadn’t done that, that coward would have tried to escape the club. I saw him moving towards the back doors when she came, so I just put on a little show for him to watch. It worked.” Wooyoung shrugs, raising the glass to his lips and taking a mouthful of his drink. Then he yelps and spits it into the potted plant next to him as fast as he can, mouth puckering uncontrollably. “That was the sourest thing I’ve tasted my entire life! What the hell, Yeosang? We’ve been friends for four years and this is how you treat me?”

Yeosang snorts as he wipes his glasses down with a clean cloth, shaking his head. “It’s precisely because we’ve been friends for four years that I’m doing this. You need to stop living so on the edge, it’s going to get you dead in a ditch one day.”

Wooyoung simply shrugs. “I’ll be fine.” Then he winces and presses the ice cubes a little more firmly against his skin, muttering under his breath. “If that little shit doesn’t get back together with her by tomorrow morning, I’m going to wring his neck for him, the fool.”

Yeosang looks over at his friend from behind the counter and rolls his eyes, but there’s a good-natured smile on his lips.

“San!”

Outside, you chase after San into a dark alleyway behind the club, before he can take another step you grab his wrist firmly with both hands and yank him backwards. He nearly stumbles at the force of your insistence, unbalanced from drink and alcohol, but finally turns around to face you, head hanged and not quite meeting your eye, clearly uncomfortable.

“What were you doing here?” San mumbles, words slightly slurred and barely loud enough for you to hear. “Weren’t you supposed to be studying at home with…” He falters for a moment and you frown in confusion, how has he forgotten the name of his own friend?

“Seonghwa and I were studying, but you were acting weird this morning so I went over to your house to ask you what was going on! Claude told me you weren’t at home so I came over to find you myself, only for you to almost get into a fight with someone else–”

San snorts, slumping against the wall with his eyes closed as he rubs his temples. “Wooyoung will be fine. That little bastard knew what he was doing the whole time, edging me on… it was a smart move, I’ll concede…”

You pause for a second. Wooyoung, Wooyoung, Wooyoung… the name sounds familiar… then it hits you. Your eyes widen and you stare at San in shock. “Isn’t Wooyoung that best friend of yours? Are you drunk? You nearly killed him! He didn’t even do anything to me!”

San’s face darken at your words, rising to his feet and lurching forward to stand dangerously close to you. But unlike with Wooyoung, you don’t feel the least bit of fear – San would never allow himself to hurt you, drunk or otherwise. “What the hell were you doing in a place like this, you idiot? What would you have done if Wooyoung wasn’t just playing around and if I weren’t there? Don’t you know you could get hurt?”

“But you were there.” You fire back, insistent. “That’s why I went there. I want to be where you are, is that so wrong?”

San groans, dragging a hand down his face. “The kind of places I go to are the places you shouldn’t be going to! Stay away from me, alright?”

But you’ve had enough of his nonsense and yank the bracelet from your pocket, shoving it in his face. His own eyes widen at the sight and he tries to snatch it from you, but you jerk it out of his reach and shove it back in your own pocket fiercely. “Is that why you took it off, San? I thought we had a promise! Best friends forever, remember?”

You’re furious, but every trace of anger evaporates in the next second, you’re completely stunned when you see a tear escape San, one at first, than two, then more and more, until San’s head is hung and you can’t see his eyes anymore, tears streaking down his cheeks and dripping to the ground. Horror overtakes you and you step forward, gripping his arm tightly. “San! San, what happened–”

Before you can say anything else, San yanks you into his chest and buries his face into your shoulder, trying to stifle his sobs. You’re still upset with him, but for now you just wrap your arms around him, the charms on your own wrist jingling. It’s not like San to be this emotional, you think worriedly… he must have had a lot more to drink than what you had thought. Then he speaks.

“I can’t belong to you anymore.” He mumbles into the crook of your neck brokenly, warm trails running down your shoulder. You utterly confused at his strange words, but then he continues and then you finally get it. “Seonghwa’s so much better for you, such a better person, he’s nice, he’s sweet, he’s kind… I want the best for you, I really do, but why can’t I stop selfishly loving you and just give you to him instead?”

Oh.

You don’t know what to feel for a second, every thought has fled your mind and you don’t know what to say, left wordless. San likes you. Choi San actually likes you. And he thinks you like Seonghwa.

This fool.

Your lips work to form words that you’re not even sure of, but before you can, you feel San slump against you, his weight resting on your shoulder and it’s all you can do to keep him upright, you can feel his snores against your skin. You don’t know whether to laugh or cry, instead you settle on doing both, a happy, weak chuckle escaping you as a single tear rolls down your cheek.

“Tell me that again when you’re sober, pabo.” You press a kiss to his temple and turn towards the mouth of the alleyway, pulling San along with you, his warm body pressed against yours. You hear San mumble drunkenly “morning?” under his breath, half asleep and completely knocked out, but you take another step forward, heart overflowing with emotions in this dark night.

Just until next morning.

You can wait that long.

The next morning, San’s eyes blink open, only to be pummeled in the face by a massive headache.

“Ow...” He groans, hunching over on the bed as he presses his fingertips against his forehead, it’s throbbing, alright. Just exactly how much did he drink last night? He clearly had one too many... had Claude driven him back?

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tries to remember the events of the night before... he recalls drinking at the bar with Wooyoung and Yeosang, his shock at seeing you enter the club, searching for someone who could only be him... He remembers trying to run away, seeing Wooyoung brazenly flirting with you and making you feel uncomfortable, red filling his vision and then...

What?

What had happened?

You.

Where were you?

Panic crashes into him and he jumps out of bed as fast as he physically can, bare feet touching the wooden floorboards of your room... your room... San’s brain stops working altogether as he gapes at his surroundings... a vase of spring daffodils he had given you a few days ago at the desk... framed photographs of him, you and Seonghwa on the walls... your biology textbooks on the shelves...

A jingling noise catches his attention and he raises a hand to stare at his wrist in complete and utter shock. It’s his charm bracelet, the one with a bell, around his wrist.

How did that get there? He clearly remembers leaving that with Claude before he left the house... unwilling to look at it again...

He looks down, and he’s shirtless. He looks around. It’s your room. He looks down at himself again.

He’s still shirtless.

San screams.

“What happened?” You burst into the room, holding a spatula menacingly and wearing a worried expression on your face. San only screams louder, yanks the blanket up to his chest and wags a shaking finger at you, looking positively horrified. “I... We... Room... Bed-”

“No, we didn’t sleep together, idiot, I took the sofa.” You roll your eyes and step over with three quick steps to gently press a kiss to his cheek. San immediately halts all movement altogether, becoming as still as a statue with comically wide eyes and a mouth hanging wide open. He doesn’t even move when you step out of the room, and a little part of you feels satisfied that you’ve finally managed to get him back for all those times he’s teased you before.

When you finally return with a tray of warm soup, a glass of warm water and some Advil, San is still standing there, blankly staring into space with one hand pressed to his cheek. You tell him to sit and he does, staring at you in shock the whole time.

“Here.” You pass him the cup and the pills and he swallows them with a gulp of water, shaking his head to regain his bearings. When he looks at you once more, you smile warmly at him with a little, knowing glint in your eye that honestly frightens him a bit.

“How did I get here?” San manages to croak out, his throat raw from the alcohol the night before. You grin a little cockily at him and his heart stutters in his chest, you seat yourself opposite him and take his hand in yours.

San’s eyes widen slightly, you’re behaving uncharacteristically forward with him today. It takes him by surprise but you don’t seem the least bit fazed, instead leaning even closer to meet his eyes with the biggest, brightest grin on your face.

Everything is going into overdrive, he thinks, slightly dazed.

“Someone confessed to me last night.” You whisper confidentially into his ear, eyes so bright and smile so positively radiant that he can’t help but feel happy for you, even though he absolutely despises what this means: Seonghwa must have confessed to you yesterday while the two of you were studying... and he... and he...

You continue rambling with a grin and San allows himself to wallow in his own grief for a moment while you’re distracted. “I’m so happy, you know! Because I’ve liked him secretly for such a long time, but I thought he didn’t like me back... Hey, San! Are you happy for me?”

San snaps back into reality, forcing a smile on his face that he hopes passes for genuine as he nods slowly, eyes downcast. “Yeah...” He can’t meet your gaze right now.

Then, all of a sudden, you smile at him, intertwining your fingers with him and raising your interlocked hands for him to see, your bracelets touching. Your eyes find him, determined and burning with intensity, and his breath leaves him for a moment at the latent fire in your gaze.

“San, would you be mine?”

San chokes.

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez san #ateez fanfiction #san fanfic #choi san #w; san #w; fanfiction

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jacepens · 3 years

Note

1: HamilTurn(you can differentiate if needed) or MCU, 2: Washette, 3: Anna Strong

And generally a fandom list would be nice to know what to pick from ;) (Love you♡)

You said HamilTurn or MCU and I say both, I'm going to try my best haha. But anyway, thank you!:) Apologies in advance if this gets rambly, but that's the point of this right? Anyway, for ease of scrolling sake, I'll probably put a cut if this gets long but don't worry, it's just me talking a whole bunch lol. Ok, thank you again!! <3 (love you too!)

1. Hamilton/Turn (fandom)

Favorite character: I have to say Lafayette for both. Oh and Mary

Least favorite character: I have no real reason behind this so sorry but Burr, and Simcoe for many reasons

5 favorite ships: washette, lams, hamliza, benwash, whamilton

Character I find most attractive: ...all. But I have to say overall Brian Wiles as Lafayette. That face just…🥺

Character I would marry: Mary Woodhull or Eliza

Character I would be best friends with: you know I'm not sure, but in an ideal world Lafayette (both versions) or Ben but I feel like we wouldn't be best friends. But also everyone, is that an option? Even some of the "villains" would have good stories to tell

A random thought: I feel like most people in the fandom now are so new (they joined in with the movie release!) and unaware of the uh atrocities of back in the day. And y'all are lucky, but those of us who know. Know. (yes, I was unbearable but that's ok because I was having fun, and despite what I just said: have fun in your fandoms even if you're "unbearable", just keep it welcome to all and enjoy the enthusiasm you have for it:))

An unpopular opinion: Oh boy. Maybe stop making quick judgments about people based on what they write/who they ship? There is a line, but I've genuinely never seen it crossed by anyone at least openly sooo just let people have fun? And don't say anything about something? Unless it's actually harmful but even then, keep it to a dm or something and have an open discussion. Just let people vibe, please? Especially younger fans. Just, I’ve seen a weird amount of negativity towards them. They’re kids having fun, we all used to be like that so please, be kind and patient. They’ll learn if they make a mistake. Ok? Ok cool:) (maybe not unpopular but still I wanted to say it)

My canon OTP: Am I allowed to say lams?

My non-canon OTP: washette, wow, who would've guessed? xD

Most badass character: Mary my beloved

Most epic villain: Robert Rogers hands down

Pairing I am not a fan of: no one murder me, but in general I'm just not a fan of jamilton. also whatever was the deal with Anna and Abe

Characters I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): um. Where to begin? Honestly I think every woman in Turn at one point or another, except perhaps Peggy in my opinion. Oh but especially Anna. Also Simcoe. With Hamilton, probably again everyone at some point, but the way Angelica was written just feels so overwhelmingly fictional it bugs me. (But at least Hamilton had some genuine relationships between women, not great but still)

Favorite friendship(s): Ben and Caleb, Washington and Lafayette (what?? yes, you fools. lol). It may sound a tad ~cringey~ but I generally like Hamilton's vibe with the boys, maybe it's just the gender envy, but it's kinda cute and fun.

Character I most identify with: well jeez, I won't lie but Washington. In both versions, except god knows I could never be that chill. Also a dash of Laurens.

Character I wish I could be: wow what a loaded question ummm. I don't want to be like him, but I want to be like in his position so Hamilton lol. Playing an active role but I know personally I am not cut out for a battlefield, so a desk suits me well.

2. MCU (fandom-that I am so out of date from, please take all of this with a grain of salt)

Favorite character: so when I was younger it was Tony Stark but now it’s definitely Wanda and T’challa

Least favorite character: ummm. I genuinely couldn’t tell you, I’m very out of date

5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): wandavision, …ngl I can’t think of anymore, I honestly never shipped many and wandavision was like the only couple I remember really liking. Oh, I don’t know them but Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie

Character I find most attractive: embarrassing confession time, Loki was my first bad celebrity crush. Wanda now and Shuri is cute. Also Sylvie

Character I would marry: if I could, Wanda

Character I would be best friends with: Vision and Peter Parker

A random thought: y’all it’s been so long since I’ve touched MCU I should catch up/refresh shouldn’t I?

An unpopular opinion: I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion but I’m going to say it anyway. Personally, I really don’t like the movie Civil War, I think it’s what sorta made me disinterested in mcu. It’s been years since I’ve watched it so maybe I would have a completely different opinion if I saw it today, but at the time it just felt so...wrong? And childish? I literally don’t even remember why they were fighting or how that movie even ended (I feel like it just wasn’t satisfying??) but I think also, as a kid or teen watching that, it reminded me sooo much of the dumb drama that, you know, kids get into. I mean, getting your friends on someone’s side like that?? Like, I know they were mad but- but there are other ways of dealing with emotions??? And involving everyone's friends too? So yeah, it just felt off to me at the time, and looking back now, from what I remember, it just frustrated me. Especially as a kid who deals with dumb drama like that all the time, kids would want to see a better example especially from adult superheroes or at least not be reminded of the bs they have to go through sometimes. But, rant over, that’s all just my opinion:)

My canon OTP: wandavision

My non-canon OTP: ummm. I guess just Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie lol

Most badass character: I have to say Natasha but actually there are many

Most epic villain: when I was younger I liked that Ultron was voiced by Robert California from the Office lol

Pairing I am not a fan of: I don’t know if it’s popular but I never liked Tony and Pepper. What happened with her?

Characters I feel the writers screwed up: I guess I’ll say Thor because I just felt such a weird difference in his personality that did not make sense to me

Favorite friendship: Wanda and Pietro!! Honestly I think a lot, there were a lot of good friendships but I can’t think of which ones are my favorite

Character I most identify with: ummmmmm.

Character I wish I could be: My gut says Thor

3. Washette (ship-bless you<3 get ready for rambles oh no)

When I started shipping them: So I first had the thought in 7th grade while my history teacher was talking about them and my little brain went: haha that’s pretty gay. (teacher keeps talking about them) wait a fucking minute, that is pretty gay! But it wasn’t until I got sucked into Hamilton that I really started actively shipping them by reading fics and what not, but something about them became an instant favorite. And later (little personal story time) I pretty much completely stopped reading fic and being active in fandom for years and actually, when I got my first panic attack that - no joke - lasted for 5 hours, for some reason my brain (as it’s decaying lol) said I want to go and reread all my favorite washette fics and also do what I was I always too scared to do. Write!! So that night I binged the fics and found myself falling in love again, feeling all the old passion I had for them again, and the next night (still very shaken) I wrote an outline of a good ol washette confession + kiss that was extremely thoughtful and good, and honestly, I have not actually used that outline yet! Maybe I’m saving it. But yeah, this is a long answer, but I have a weird amount of attachment to them and this ship, I wish I knew why too. <3

My thoughts: so many. Too many. First of all, I love that I have so many versions of them in my mind, right? When I started writing, I had never watched Turn but then I did and then it was like: hell yeah, another washette set. At this point, my brain has created it’s own unique version of them but it’s like, they’re so versatile! That’s one neat thing about this fandom as a whole, we get more than one character and personality and that’s just fun right?! More specifically on washette I mean, they’re just so sweet. Historically, their relationship is unique and cute, and you’d have to be a fool to think that to Washington Lafayette was just another friend. Even strictly platonically, it was something special and it’s so obvious I just love them. Ok. Enough thoughts for now <3

What makes me happy about them: the loooove, the comfort they found in each other, the fact that like every person at the time documenting them knew and understood they were special to each other like, they were just that in love.

What makes me sad about them: oh so much that I try to ignore lol. There is the one year when Lafayette went to France and all his letters to Wash are like: “I have not received one letter from you, but it’s ok, I love you and I know you love me too :)” WHO WAS NOT DELIVERING THESE LETTERS, I HAVE NAMES, NOW I WANT ANSWERS. Anyway, also just most things that happened when Laf went back to France. And then when he visited America in 1824 and visited Washington’s grave. Yeah. ow. (also, you know what, I have done too much research on this event. lmk if you would like a post)

Things done in fanfic that annoy me: Generally, I’m not annoyed by much in fanfic at least with them and what I’ve seen. I’m still nostalgic for the old school nonbinary Laf fics, so it ain’t those. Literally maybe it’s because I’m starved for content but I can’t really think of anything, I love it all.

Things I look for in fanfic: back to the whole starved for content thing, I am a library of washette fics but I think if I was to pick a certain thing that I would love it’s just um fluff? And honesty, if that makes sense. Love confessions are very good as well. Canon era, please :) pining but not too much that it hurts me lol

My wishlist: literally all my wips. If I could whisk them into existence I could die happy and knowing I have put a variety of washette content in the world. Something else though, more fics :’) I love writing but sometimes I want to curl up with a cozy, new washette fic like a cup of hot chocolate and be surprised and learn something new and just..yeah:)

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: what. Ok but actually, Martha and Adrienne because they are both honestly perfect for them and I love them too (I’m going to be biased, especially Adrienne)

My happily ever after for them: Can Lafayette just move the family to America? But also, it’s sad, but like I know Laf would be sad in America while France suffers. So...maybe a world where things in France go better and Lafayette gets to visit Washington more often and bring the family!! (Washington visit France too??)

4. Anna Strong (character)

How I feel about this character: I like her! She’s fun and…strong (oops lol) and she’s made some mistakes sure, but I feel like she did her best to learn from them and move on

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly, I know they didn’t have a lot of interaction in the show but Anna/Mary has potential. And Anna/Edmund

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: her and Ben and Caleb

My unpopular opinion about this character: I really can’t think of anything unpopular

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: in general, her having more screen time with less men you know? I mean like one-on-one kind of scenes. Also I would’ve liked to see at least her and Selah talk. Like, really talk. They never really did that, right? I just have so many questions about them

Favorite friendship for this character: Anna and Ben

My crossover ship: I have no idea

And well, I know it’s been a few days but for a fandom list, I’m just a weeb lol but here

Octopath Traveler (my beloved)

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Star Wars

Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812

Persona 4

Zelda (to a point)

Pokémon

What We Do in the Shadows

Sailor Moon

Literally anything historical

Ok!! I tried to add a lot because I’m not sure what you might know or not haha. But thank you again!! I had fun <3

#ask game

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whatshername-please · 4 years

Text

Out of the Water - Chapter V

Synopsis: You were very proud to be a mermaid, thank you very much. You didn’t want to be where the people were. Actually, you’d rather avoid it. Defending the merfolk was the biggest goal in your life… well, it was until you meet a certain pirate… it seems that your family really had a thing for humans, after all. Not that you’d ever admit it…

Pairing: Harry x reader

Word count: 4514

Part 5 of ?

Warnings: none? Possibly grammar mistakes? Also, some cuss words

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so I’ll probably mess up some tenses, grammar and stuff. Go easy on me, please. Feedback is always appreciated.

The sun was fading away in the horizon and soon it would be dark and, as you walked, you wondered why everything in this damned kingdom had to be so far away? Didn't they have magic carpets or something like that? Besides, since it was getting darker by the second, the sense of urgency was growing too. You had the feeling that Audrey was just playing with you - she obviously knew where you were, so why she didn't make a move yet? It was like a cat and mouse game and you were the mice heading towards a trap. Also, Mal having the Amber did not put your mind at ease since you didn't have the advantage.

You were literally entering to the lion's lair willingly.

"What happened between you and Hook?" You raised an eyebrow and Evie, who had come to talk to you, explained. "We heard the screaming. I know he can be difficult to deal with, but soon we'll all be in Auradon together".

Evie was way too good for this world, wasn't she? You didn't have the heart to contradict her or tell the atrocity the pirate had done to you.

"I know, sweetie. Don't worry, I'll try to be civil, even if the person in question is an utterly jerk who deserves a punch".

She sighed, looking almost disappointed. Obviously, you didn't give the answer she was hoping for but honestly, what was she expecting from you? Moreover, your response was nice enough, considering Harry was annoying and a water thief.

"That's a beginning, I suppose. But I think we can work on the aggressive attitude, though" she said with a shrug.

Oh, maybe you should have skipped the punching part... If she thought that was violent, you hoped she never found out that you almost chopped Harry's finger off, then.

As the time passed you grew impatient, it was already night and no one was in a chatty mood anymore. As for you, you've never wished for a day to end so fast and, on top of that, something else was bothering you and it was not the perspective of facing Psycho Audrey. Maybe it was the fact that once everything was over, Mal would let the kids off the Isle (it was what she had promised, after all). However, as much as you want to believe her, you had your doubts. Either way, nothing would ever be the same.

Finally, you arrived at Fairy Cottage and crossed the garden very quietly, trying not to draw attention to yourselves. When you finally got at the building, Ben burst the door open.

Great way to go unnoticed.

However, in the end, it didn't matter because Audrey wasn't there and your little journey had been a waste of time, thereby she was still on the loose and you had no one idea where she could be or what she was planning to do (but whatever it was, it would be unpleasant). Suddenly, the sound of a bustling knock filled the air startling everybody. Ben followed the source of the disturbence and discovered a very scared Chad locked in the pantry.

The poor thing looked completely distressed and hysterical and, soon after, he mumbled some nonsense and rushed off without a second thought.

"Well, at least he is pretty" you said out loud. How Cinderela could have had such a foolish son was beyond your comprehension, but his golden locks made up for the lack of discernment.

Harry laughed and the clumsy encounter with Chad lifted everyone's spirit and, when you left the Cottage, there weren't Mal's gang or Uma's crew anymore, just friends trying to save the world. Even if you were all doomed; at least you'd end up things in good terms.

Yeah, that's what you naively thought.

Evie told Ben about Mal's promise and apparently Mal had had other plans that she didn't bother sharing with anyone: she was going to close the barrier for good. No more in, no more out.

Nothing serious or extreme.

No reason to freak out...

Holly shit!

You felt like a fool!

Just to think that you gave your word to Harry and Gil that Ben wouldn't do that! You were so mad that you couldn't even talk and it never happened before! Also, you didn't have the heart to face Uma, not after you said to her things were changing for the better. You knew how Uma pretended to be tough, but right now her spirit had been shattered...

Harry confronted Ben about the lie and you thought he'd lose his shit and gut someone, but he just looked completely broken, like someone had taken away his will to fight. Even though Harry and Uma knew pain and betrayal, they didn't expect this. They trusted the people of Auradon were different and they were let down.

Things weren't suppose to go this way! You wanted to do something! Anything! But what?

It was then that Celia took the amber from Mal's hand and threw it into the water. Well, if you were screwed before, now you were hopeless. At least it was for a good cause, if people in Auradon thought their lives were worthier than the life of the inhabitants of the Isle, let them rot. You couldn't even be mad at Uma for leaving since that was what you wanted to do too, but you knew there was nothing you could do to help her in this moment. Actually, you knew Uma well enough to know that going after her would only bother her.

The words Harry said to you earlier about Auradon's privilege echoed in your mind and you couldn't stay put anymore.

"I know this is not my place to say something. I mean, most of the time I'm not even here, I'm not a VK and closing the barrier doesn't affect my life... but it does. It does because there are people there, good people destined to live a dreadful life just because they were born on that Isle! People in Auradon have been living their perfect little lives where everything is pretty and colorful while we claim to be the good guys, but what we have done to the villains and their kids is atrocious! There will always be good and evil, that's how life works and we can't run away from it. Deciding which path to follow is what defines someone's true self, but in order to make this decision we need to have a chance. Mal, you of all people should know that, you had a chance and now that your life is good you want to deny those children the same opportunity? From this day on, every time you play 'happily ever after' with your prince charming, know that you are doing it at the expense of a child on that Isle"

You wish you had heard Mal's reply, but as soon as you finished talking, the world froze.

_______

Legend says that you were indeed the hottest stone statue in Auradon, but it didn't soothe you a bit. To say you were pissed was not nearly enough to express what you were feeling right now. If Audrey weren't already dying, you would have gladly killed her yourself. The only reason why you were still in the awful human world was Uma... this, and also because becoming stone had consumed all your energies and right now you were way too busy drinking a huge bottle of salted water to not die of dehydration.

Your grandfather would have to choose another diplomat because you were never ever setting foot on land again.

Maybe, if you weren't so angry, you would have choked on your drink when Mal told Hades was her father.

It explained a lot about her, though.

So, Hades, Mal's father, was the only one who could save Audrey and they were going to fetch him on the Isle to help the dying girl. Oh! The double standard! When a kid from Auradon curses everybody is "a mistake", but if someone from the Isle does that is "they are too dangerous, let's lock them up forever". Is it fair? No. Does anyone care? Also no.

You thought it couldn't get any worse, but boy, you were wrong. Uma just said she was going back to the Isle, which was pretty understandable and expected, but you had one itty-bitty tiny hope that she would stay.

Oh, on top of that, everyone accepted Mal and Ben's selfish decision to close the barrier. You scoffed under your breath, salted water wasn't enough to deal with all this, you needed something stronger, like vodka. The good thing was, since everyone was leaving and your cousins were safe, you had no more business in the human world and you took your cue from the VKs to announce your own departure too.

You waited for the limo alongside Uma, Harry, Gil and Celia, the atmosphere was tense, and you had seen happier people at funerals.

"I thought you were going back to Atlantica" the teal haired girl said, breaking the overwhelming silence.

"I'll go with you... until we reach the barrier, at least" your voice was more hoarse than you expected it to.

"Yeah, don't want to risk getting trapped, right?" If this was supposed to be a mean comment, Harry had failed; he just sounded sad, like everyone else. The pirate wasn't expecting an answer but you gave him one, anyway.

"I wouldn't mind going to the Isle, but there is no magic there and no magic means no legs for me, so you would be stuck with a mermaid... unless you don't care to carry me around..." you half-joked.

The car finally arrived and you got into it. It was nice that Ben sent the limo to pick up the VKs, and the guard's vehicle was going ahead, probably to go find Hades. There was all sorts of food in the limo, but no one touched them because all of you were way too lost in your own minds to be hungry. As you were approaching the Isle the unsettling feeling in your stomach grew worst and there was definitely something wrong with your eyes. Just before the car crossed the barrier, you asked the driver to stop. For one second, it seemed he would argue against it, but you gave him a warning look, since you weren't in the mood for more useless fights.

"Uma, can we talk outside for one second, please?" you asked.

You two got out of the car and, as soon as Uma closed the door, you hugged her.

"I'm sorry, Uma. I'm so sorry" the only thing you could do was to repeat how sorry you were, but you knew your apologies didn't change anything.

"I know" she reassured you, looking in your eyes "It's not your fault, you shouldn't be apologizing".

"Someone has to" you said, your felt so tight in your chest that hurt. Then, Uma smiled and hold your hand.

"Thanks for everything you've done for me. I don't know how I would have gone through the past months without you"

"You'd have done just fine, you're a fighter" it was now or never, you lowered your voice so even if someone in the car was paying attention to the conversation, they wouldn't hear you "You can still change your mind, let's go back to Atlantica and, before you interrupt me, Harry and Gil can come too. I have no idea how this is going to work but we'll figure it out" you offered her - you had to try.

"You know I can't abandon the Isle, speacially now" her eyes were full of sorrow, she knew exactly what meant to go back "Maybe you can swim near the barrier so we can see each other from time to time".

You knew she would say that, but it didn't mean it hurt any less.

"Definitely!" you tried to sound cheerful, but the words that left your mouth were robotic and fake "We'll see each other again".

This was a lie, even if you saw each other it would never be the same. The realization hit you hard and that weird feeling that you had in the car, finally made sense when streams of salt water started falling from your eyes.

"I'm leaking!" you freaked out "What is that?! I'm leaking!"

"You're crying, you idiot" she laughed, her eyes watering too.

"Nonsense, mermaids don..." before you could complete the sentence, Uma hugged you again, which made you start crying even harder.

No, not crying, leaking.

"I promise, Uma. I'll not stop fighting for the Isle. I'll talk to Mal, Ben or whoever I must to! They will change their minds, even if, in order to do so, I have to summon up the wrath of the ocean upon them".

You didn't know how long you two stayed crying in each others arms but a voice with a thick accent called both of you after a while.

"Are you ladies alright?" Harry asked. The pirate and Gil were standing there next to both of you. The dark haired boy had a hint of curiosity on his face but he knew better than to tease his captain.

You two pulled away from the hug, Uma looked slightly embarassed to get caught in such an emotional moment.

"I can't believe I'm leaking" you said while trying to wipe away the tears from your eyes; however, they insisted on falling down.

This was so awkward.

"You're not leaking, you're crying" Gil's brow furrowed "Don't you know what crying is?"

"Yes, I do... it's just I've never cried before..." you said between sobs.

"Wow, life in Auradon must be really perfect if people don't even cry here" for the firts time since you met him, he sounded sad. The boy was probably thinking about all the opportunities he would never have in Auradon because he was destined to live on the Isle forever.

They took away Gil's bright smile and you could not forgive that.

"It's not that... I live in the sea, tears don't fall when you are under water" you explained, finally calming down.

"Maybe the ocean is just a big pool of mermaid's tears." Gil said absently, eyeing the vast blue ocean in front of him and you couldn't help but hug the blonde boy too.

The Sea Bitch was such a softie.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Gil. I wish we had more time to know each other better, but I know for sure that you're loyal, brave and gentle. I hope you are very happy. You deserve it".

You broke apart short after and Gil seemed very touched by your words.

"Thanks... that was one of nicest things that someone ever said to me" he offered you a shy smile "I wish you the same".

You looked at Harry, who looked back right into your eyes. You stared at each other until you hold out your hand, which he accepted. It was weird, Harry Hook has gotten on your nerves since the very first moment you met. He was smug, annoying and a little crazy, but at the same time he was very funny and fearless, qualities that you admired. You wanted to say something, but before you could open your mouth he let go of your hand.

That was it, then.

You also said goodbye to Celia and wished her the best. Then, the VKs got into the car again and, since Harry was the last one standing outside, you took the chance to ask him a favor.

"Please, take care of Uma"

His face broke into small smile and he nodded slightly.

You watched with a shattered heart the limo cross the barrier, taking away your friends from you forever.

There was nothing else you could do, so you jumped into the ocean and disappeared between the waves.

Not an hour ago all you wanted was to be back home, but now everything seemed pointless. For the last months Uma lived in Atlantica and going back without her gave you a knot in the stomach, things wouldn't be the same anymore without your friend there. The two of you used to spend hours plotting ways to get everyone off the Isle, finding a hole in the barrier or just talking about the future... and now you had nothing but crushed hopes. Of course you wouldn't give up, but you felt like you had moved backwards 10 spaces in the game, you fought for the merfolk on the Isle for so long and when it finally seemed that everything was going to be fine, it was a lie.

You were so absorbed in your thoughts that you didn't pay attention to where you were heading, which caused you to bump into your mother and younger brother.

"Where have you been"? Attina asked, her voice was somewhere between angry and concerned, but it was impossible to miss the vein popping out on her forehead "I was worried sick about you!"

"Sorry mom, I was in Auradon" you told her, knowing very well that this answer would only upset her more because there was no way she hadn't hear about Audrey and her little mishap.

"Auradon?!" The look of horror on her face made clear that she knew about what happened and wasn't happy about it. If humans thought you were hardcore, it was because they never talked to your mother "Do you know what Sleeping Beauty's daughter did?"

If you knew? You lived and survived it.

"I heard even Uma was there! Your grandfather was almost sending guards to look for you and your cousins! What happened?"

"Did you finally meet Uma, then?" your brother, Nereus, joined the conversation. He didn't know anything about Uma or that you two were friends. Also, he had no idea that he had talked to her many times when she was under the charm spell.

Then, your mother called by your full name, which never meant something good.

"You weren't there in hopes to befriend Ursula's daughter and bring all the merfolk from the Isle to Atlatica, were you?" Your mother knew you so well... and she wasn't happy.

"Of course not, mom..." I'm already friends with Uma, you added mentally.

Before she started complaining, you explained everything that happened that day (ok, almost everything, you definitely skipped some parts). Her disapproval face grew to the point her vein was ready to explode, while your brother gasped and cheered at the most exciting parts, as you told the story. Under other circumstances you would have narrated the events in a dramatic and majestic way, not sparing any single detail; however, it was way too painful to remember that was your first and last adventure with Uma and her crew.

"Will they close the barrier forever for real?" Nereus asked and, when you nodded, he offered you a sympathetic smile. He knew how much you fought for the merpeople on the Isle.

Your mother, on the other hand, had other things bothering her.

"So, you tell me that they let a bunch of kids fight against a delusional girl who held one of the most dangerous tools of dark magic in the kingdom? Where were Fairy Godmother, the Blue Fairy, the 3 Good Fairies? You can't trust fairies, that's what I always say to your grandfather! Where were Belle and the Beast? Any adults?!" as she talked, her voice got more and more high-pitched, until she was practically shouting.

"They were probably under Audrey's spell" you enlightned her, even knowing that it would not ease her mind one bit.

"That's an absurd! How can we trust our kids to go to Auradon Prep if they can't keep the security system of a museum working properly?!"

You and your brother exchanged looks. Although your mother had a valid point, you didn't want to hear any of it, which was odd, because you never missed the opportunity to roast the human world.

Claiming to be tired, you excused yourself and swam to your room and, as soon as you got there, you glanced at the spot where Uma would used to stay, knowing that you'd probably never talk to her again. You felt like someone was crushing your heart and if you weren't under the sea, tears would be rolling down your face. You lay on the bed, trying to stop thinking about Uma, the Isle and everything. It was a good thing that you were exhausted, so you soon fell into a dreamless sleep.

You weren't sure how much time had passed, but, suddenly, you were woken by someone knocking on your door. You cursed under your breath, who, in the seven seas, was disturbing you right now? Not even bothering to look up, you invited whoever was at your door to come in, you heard them entering and closing the door and, after a moment, you felt the weight of someone sitting on your bed.

They coughed and you recognized the deep voice that belonged to none other than your grandfather, King Triton.

"Grandpa!" you sat up quickly and hugged him.

"Hello, my dear" everyone feared your grandfather for he had quite a dauntless reputation (even you had to admit that he was frightening sometimes), also, his temper was known in all Auradon. However, when he looked at you with those gentle eyes, you forgot he was the King of the ocean, in these moments he was just your grandfather and you fell protected and loved near him.

"Oh grandpa, it was dreadful and I'm misarable" you hugged him again, hiding your face on his neck.

"Your mother told me what happened and that King Ben wants to close the barrier" his voice was so calm that it was difficult to imagine that when he was angry he could create storms and tsunamis.

"That's horrible. I feel so powerless and guilty! I know most of people think everyone in the Isle is evil but that's not true! They are kind and loyal and they don't deserve to be doomed to perish in that place! You should have seem their faces when Mal told them the program had been shut down" your grandfather wasn't know for his love for villains, everytime someone brought Ursula up he got riled up and changed the subject quickly, but you needed to speak out.

"And who are 'they' that you're talking about?" he asked, stroking you hair softly to confort you.

"You know... Celia, Gil, Harry... and Uma" you were nervous to talk about Uma with him. Actually, despite him knowing that you were in charge for her "search party" you have never discussed that you wanted to bring her to Atlantica, even more that you had brought her to the palace clandestinely and that she lived under his roof for months.

"Uma?" his voice was stern when he said your friend's name.

"Grandpa" you straightned up and looked him in the eye "I know it must be hard for you because Ursula caused great pain to our family but Uma has nothing to do with it, she is brave, smart and care so much about other people. She had the chance to stay in Auradon but she came back to the Isle because she couldn't abandon them! She might has taken some questionable decisions, but who hasn't? She was fighting for what she believed was right! Isn't it what you taught me?"

King Triton furrowed his brows; the wrinkles in his forehead were visible which could only mean he was deliberating something.

"You do seem to know a lot about her" he said after a while, his voice and face were severe and you swallowed... this conversation was taking a dangerous path.

"Well... I..."

Before you could finish the sentence, your grandfather cut you off.

"I know what you did"

You froze, he couldn't possibly be talking about Uma living in Atlantica. There was no way he knew that, if he had had any suspicion of what you did, he would have been beyond furious, so you tried to play cool.

"What are you talking about, grandpa?"

He raised an eyebrow and sighed.

"I know you brought Uma to live here in Atlantica"

And then you died.

The end.

Oh wait.

You weren't dead... but you were sure your grandfather just told you that he knew about Uma... Something was terribly wrong. He probably noticed your bulging eyes and horrified expression because he elucidated soon after.

"I raised seven daughters, my darling. I don't need my trident to see through a charm spell and a lie" it was weird, his voice was strangely serene and he looked slightly amused.

"But... how... like... why... Aren't you angry?" there weren't enough words to describe your shock right now.

"I learned to trust the people I love a long time ago, even when we don't agree on the subject." his tone was solemn and wise and it made you feel so small and pathetic because you knew you had disappointed him.

"I'm sorry, grandpa.... I'm sorry that I lied to you and that I disappointed you, but I'm not sorry for what I did" you didn't have the courage to look him in the eyes, but he lifted up your face and smiled.

"You didn't disappoint me. I trusted you enough to let you do what you thought was right, that was what I taught you. And considering everything I saw in the last months, I believe Uma is a good girl and I'm glad you're friends"

You returned his smile, not in your wildest dreams you thought your grandfather would understand this and it made you so glad how supportive and understanding he was about everything.

"I'm sorry for lying to you! I won't do it again" you promised him.

"You're young, you will" he laughed it off "But trust me when I say that I'll be by your side no matter what"

Everything should be perfect; however, there were a bitter feeling in your mouth and a knot in the pit of your stomach that you couldn't get rid of. In the end, it didn't matter if your grandfather trusted Uma or not, because she would be trapped on the Isle forever.

"So… I think I need your help" you bit your lip, uncertain of how to say it "We can't let them close the barrier for good, but I don't know what to do!"

"Don't worry, I promised I'll talk to King Ben about this. They can't just close the barrier like this without measuring the consequences" he reassured you "Now, rest, my darling. You had a long day"

He got up and swan towards your door, but before leaving he turned his head and said.

"Otherwise, you have my permission to summon up the wrath of the ocean upon them" he winked at you and left.

"Wait" you whispered to yourself "How does he even know?"

And then it hit you.

"SEBASTIAN!"

#harry hook x reader #harry hook #harry hook x you #harry hook imagine #descendants #descendants imagine #descendants x reader #uma daughter of ursula #descedants fanfiction #out of the water

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deathonyourtongue · 3 years

Text

Resurrection | 11

Summary: A ragtag team of Spec-Ops operators are brought out of retirement for all the wrong reasons. When the dust settles, only the best will be left standing. Pairing: Pablo Schreiber x OFC, Henry Cavill x OFC (listen, she gets with the whole team, okay? Don’t lie, you would too.) Word Count: 2.1K Warnings: Nothing much really. A/N: Shit hath hitteth the fan. Again.

“Ooh, smells like semen in here!” Jake says with far too much enthusiasm, smiling brightly at me as he pours two cups of coffee, doctoring mine just how I like it.

“Shut up. If you or anyone else brings it up, be ready to be on the receiving end of Beef’s fist,” I mutter, giving Jake the only warning he’ll get from me as I take my seat at the conference table, rolling my neck side to side, amazed at just how sore I am.

“My lips are sealed. I just gotta know one thing: What was he holding out for?”

“Me,” I whisper, watching as Jake’s eyebrows go sky high and he leans back in his seat, silenced.

“I mean, we all sort of suspected. He’s not exactly subtle about...well, anything, but you never seemed to catch on, so we left it alone.” He shrugs, his smile more genuine this time, Jake looking truly touched by the revelation.

“Yeah, well, next time do us both a favor and tell me sooner.”

“And spare him the blue balls? Where’s the fun in that? Was it a mess? Did you have to stick the shower head up there after?”

“Jake, shut up!” I crow, throwing a spare pen at him just as Rick walks through the door, breakfast in hand.

“Literally the last two people I expected to be up early after last night, but I’ll take it. Where’s the rest of the gang?” Rick asked, setting the bags of food and the tray of coffee down in the center of the table.

“What did you get up to last night?” It’s my turn to interrogate Jake, my eyebrow going up as I watch his smile go impish.

“Her name was Star and she did things to me that are deadly sins in most religions.” Jake says with as much seriousness as he can muster for all of 2.5 seconds, his face breaking into a smile just as he takes a sip of his coffee.

“Just be glad you weren’t stuck in a box with him for more than 24 hours,” Benji mutters as he takes the seat to my left, squeezing my shoulders before sitting down.

“Morning,” Max mumbles as he sits to my right, avoiding eye contact with everyone, including me.

“Save the act, Beef. We all know you got some,” Dom cuts in, moving to sit next to Rick, leaning back in his seat, and grinning like that cat that ate the canary.

“Congratulations on losing your V-card, bro,” Flip adds as he comes in, patting Max on the back as he scoots by him.

“Alright, enough. What d’we got, Rick?” I cut the shenanigans short, knowing if I let it go on any longer, the guys will yank Max’s chain a little too hard first thing in the morning. Even I’m not that patient before coffee.

“Well, since we let Wallace literally walk out the front door, we have to chase again. I asked intel for his whereabo--”

There’s barely time to hear the blast before the shockwave hits us, taking out the bulletproof glass as if it were single pane. I feel Max’s body collide into mine, before we both hit the ground hard. Car alarms and smoke detectors go off in nearby buildings, making it clear the blast came from the outside in, but leaving no doubt we’re the targets.

Breaching charges come next, one at the front door, one at the secondary exit. I finally open my eyes as I get to my feet, keeping low and feeling Max’s hand clamped around the back of my neck. Though smoke fills the meeting room, I get enough of a glance to know that the guys are all okay, each of them in the same crouched position I am, all of us moving with precision.

Max pushes me into my room, slamming the door behind me. Without hesitation, I grab a t-shirt, vest, pants and socks, throwing everything on in a hurry. My boots go last, the laces double knotted so I don’t have a slip-up later. I pull my hair into a messy knot before grabbing my M4 and checking the mag. Seeing it fully loaded, I push it back into place and slam it home, ready to go.

The knock at my door comes just in time, and I knock back once to let whoever is on the other side know I’m ready and armed. Pulling it open, I fall in behind Flip, covering him and bringing up the tail end of our little procession down the hall. Up front, I hear Dom call out targets, he and Rick taking out three men without hesitation.

“Let’s move!” Rick calls out, and I pivot so that as I move forward, I can cover us against anyone who might want to come up behind. Within moments of doing so, two of Wallace’s men come out of the meeting room and into the hallway. Leveling my M4, I take four shots, ensuring both men’s deaths.

Just as I pass the last of the bedrooms, I feel my body get pulled sideways. With little time to react, I let my gun fall to my side and pull my knife out of my vest. Before I can sink it into the nearest limb, I feel his arm go around my throat in a rear naked choke, the man squeezing hard enough to make me see stars. I only have six seconds before the chokehold takes me out, and with gunfire sounding ahead of us, I know the boys won’t be coming to save me. Stepping forward, I pivot towards the man’s thumb, palm striking his hand away as I go. Out of the hold, I don’t waste time, wrapping his neck in a guillotine choke and cranking with every ounce of anger I feel towards the man who’s made our lives a living hell for the last few weeks.

It takes a second, but I feel the distinct pop of tendon and bone breaking and from how limp the man goes, I know he’s gone. Swinging my gun back into my hands, I check my corners and sprint to catch up with the team, reaching them as they start going down the exterior stairs of the building. At street level, more of Wallace’s men are posted up, guns aimed directly at us. I pause for a moment, eyeing the most imperative man to take out, and with a quick check through my scope, put two through his forehead, taking him out just before he can let a shot off; a shot that would’ve surely hit Rick where it counts. Taking out two more men before moving again, I sprint for our car, slipping in just as Dom puts the pedal to the floor.

“Everyone good?” Benji calls, his eyes wide as they dart around the van, watching carefully as we all pat ourselves down. Unlike our last shootout, I don’t find a hole where it shouldn’t be. Still, I’m not surprised when I find Max’s fingers lifting my chin.

“Jesus,” he hisses as I turn my head out of his grip, nodding.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be muteville for me tomorrow unless I can ice this soon,” I acknowledge, resting my head back against the seat as the pain finally kicks in.

Our secondary safehouse is nowhere near as luxurious as the one we use for headquarters, being nothing but a small, modified warehouse, but it has water, ice, and a place for me to lean back while I ice my neck. Max brings me the bag and gingerly sets the ice down on my neck, smoothing my hair back after. With a gentle kiss to my forehead, he takes his seat next to me, his gaze focusing on the screens where Rick is pulling up traffic cameras.

“Home Office is going to love knowing you broke the Freedom Act just for one man,” Max deadpans, all of us focusing on a different part of the screen, trying to figure out where Wallace and his men went after the bombing.

“I’ll have a look at security cam footage from right after the stairs, see if I can pinpoint what direction he went in,” Dom says, pulling his laptop closer before entering the same camera network the traffic ones are on. If nothing else, I’m glad we’re in London because as one of the most surveilled cities in the world, the chances of not finding him are slim to none.

Silence falls over the room as we all study the feeds, looking for any sign of the black vans Wallace and his men got into after the bombing. It seems like hours go by before Dom finally speaks up, his voice terse as he checks and double-checks his findings.

“Cameras show him headed east-”

“I got him. He’s on A12,” Rick interjects, standing to get a closer look at his square, where the two vans are headed in the exact direction Dom had said.

“A12 ends at London City. He’s gonna try and hop ship!” Max is the one on his feet now, reaching for his phone.

Taking the ice off my neck, I sit up, well-versed in what’s about to happen. Joint ops are always a mess, but we need the airport locked down with him and his team in it, and with the head start Wallace has, we’ll never make it in time.

Max paces as the call rings, his face making it clear he needs the person on the other end to pick up, and pick up quickly. As he waits, we all start getting ready. Vest plates are checked, mags get loaded and stowed, and extra ammo is stuffed into a singular go-bag one of us will carry just in case.

“John. Hey mate, I need a favor and I need it fast. No questions right now. I need you to lock down London City as quickly as you can. No making calls to anti-terror, understood? This one’s ours and ours alone. He’s an animal and we need to put him down. Can you do that, mate? Good, thank you. What’s your ETA?”

Max listens intently to his friend on the other line even as he starts prepping his own gear, knowing we don’t have much time.

“Great. I’ll see you there, mate. I’ll explain over a pint when it’s all over, I promise.” Closing the call, Max grabs his gear, on my heels as we all rush out the door and back into the truck.

We check and recheck everything as Max drives towards the airport we know Wallace will be trying to fly out of. The silence in the truck is deafening, all of us tensed and ready for what we hope will be the end of this nightmare.

London City’s facade reminds me of a used car dealership, all concrete and glass, with the airport’s title written in blue letters across the top of the entrance. It’s not a stunning piece of architecture, and despite its prime location, it’s nowhere near as heavily-trafficked as Heathrow or Gatwick. I try my best to keep my face neutral as we arrive; by the amount of lights and personnel standing around outside the building, the Mets weren’t exactly subtle about their approach. The chances that Wallace is still in the building drop more and more, the closer we get.

Max tears out of the car like a bull in a china shop, eyes narrowed with laser precision as he marches inside to find his friend. We follow suit, scanning the area for any sign of Wallace or his men, knowing he could be waiting to spring another trap on us at any moment.

“What the hell happened, John?” Max barks as he makes a beeline for his friend, having no idea how scary he looks when he’s on the warpath.

“We were too late, mate. He had a private jet set to take off. Wheels were up by the time we got to the counters. We’re pulling surveillance and the flight manifest as we speak.” John, to his credit, manages to face Max without shrinking in his presence, unintimidated by the rabid dog routine he tends to default to whenever a plan is going south.

Appeased by the quick reaction to missing their primary objective, Max backs off, scrubbing a hand over his face as he turns back towards us.

“We’re all in consensus that he wants to recreate the night he was arrested, correct?” He asks as we all gather around, ready to rejig the plan as necessary. Everyone nods, the rest of the team’s anger rising to the level of Max’s, none of us wanting a repeat of that night. “So he’s headed south. Probably back to Libya.”

The flight manifest appears before anyone can say another word, and as Max reads over the report, I know the bad news is about to be compounded.

“He took a hostage. FUCK!”

#henry cavill #pablo schreiber #henry cavill x ofc #pablo schreiber x ofc #resurrection #deathonyourtongueoriginals

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emy-loves-you · 4 years

Text

Wrong Numbers and Useless Gays Chapter 15

Sandwiches and Self-Jealousy

Chapter 14 | Masterlist | Chapter 16

Warnings: Jealousy, half-lying, mentions of abandonment issues

Virgil shot up, surprised by Janus slamming the door upstairs. He stared at his phone. What was he supposed to do? He’s been flirting with his 3 crushes as Anxiety, and they don’t know that he’s Anxiety. Virgil sighed, gathering up what courage he had left. Might as well gather intel.

V- (1:10 PM) You’ve been flirting with THE Anxiety?!?

L- (1:10 PM) More like he was flirting with us.

P- (1:11 PM) You know Anxiety, Kiddo?

V- (1:11 PM) Yeah, I’m a fan of his

V- (1:11 PM) Are you sure that he’s flirting? Last I heard he was dating his bandmates

L- (1:12 PM) He said that he was flirting with me, but I don’t think he means it as a romantic gesture. He seemed more interested in my consent than my unavailability.

V- (1:12 PM) Wait, why were you guys okay with each other flirting with strangers?

R- (1:13 PM) We might all have the teensiest tiny crush on him

Virgil felt his cheeks heat up. They all had crushes on Anxiety? What was Virgil supposed to do with that information? Should he ignore it? Or should he try and be more serious with them as Anxiety, to see if he has a chance as a rockstar instead of a faceless friend?

Virgil suddenly felt something stirring in his gut. It took a few moments to recognize the feeling: Jealousy. Virgil had been pining after his crushes for months. He was not losing his chance to a person they’d only known for a week. Sure, that person was also Virgil, but it was the principle of it, Dammit! Virgil thought about it. While it would be easier to date them as Anxiety, he’d much rather date them as Virgil. Maybe I can give myself a leg-up through Anxiety. Virgil thought about it for several more minutes. This could work. Finally smiling, Virgil turned back to his phone.

V- (1:20 PM) Okay, you guys wanna get closer to Anxiety?

V- (1:20 PM) How does VIP tickets to their next concert sound?

R- (1:21 PM) SERIOUSLY?!?

R- (1:21 PM) YES PLEASE!

P- (1:22 PM) You don’t have to, Kiddo!

V- (1:22 PM) The concert’s on February 17th. Consider it a Valentine’s Day gift from me to you guys.

L- (1:22 PM) The concert is in less than 3 weeks. How do you have VIP tickets? Were you intending on using them, Virgil?

V- (1:23 PM) No, I just know a few people

V- (1:23 PM) By the way, where did you find that album, Lo?

L- (1:23 PM) I am at home right now due to nasopharyngitis. A coworker of mine dropped this off as an early birthday present. He said that I might find it useful. I assume that he saw Anxiety visiting me at the library and recognized him.

Virgil sighed. He’d have to pay more attention. He’d dropped his guard down when interacting with them. He didn’t want anyone else recognizing him.

R- (1:25 PM) Well, I must take my leave. I have lunch with Anxiety today, so I will inform him of our situation.

P- (1:25 PM) DON’T TELL HIM ABOUT OUR CRUSH ON HIM!

R- (1:25 PM) I WON’T!

Virgil swore, getting up. He’d completely forgotten about his lunch with Hottie/Roman. He quickly grabbed his stuff before running out the door. He sent a quick text to Janus, telling him that he had left. He speed-walked to the sandwich shop that Roman liked, ordering the same sandwich that Roman ordered every time, as well as one for himself. Before he knew it, he was standing outside of the theatre, sandwiches in hand. He sat there, remembering what he wanted to say to Roman. Roman soon walked out, a nervous yet somewhat awe-struck look on his face.

Flirt Mode: Activated

“Hey, Hottie. Ready for sandwiches and banter?” Anxiety held out the sandwich, a teasing glint in his eyes.

“We need to talk.” Anxiety startled slightly. He knew that Roman wanted to talk to him about his identity, but he didn’t think that he’d be this direct.

“Sure, mind if we sit down? My back is killing me.” They sat down on the sidewalk, uncomfortable silence between them. Anxiety opened his mouth to break the tension. “So-”

“I know you’re Anxiety.” Roman’s voice was soft, softer than Anxiety ever remembered it being. He stared down at the concrete. “And I know that I’m not the only person that you’re flirting with. You’ve actually been flirting with my 2 boyfriends. I just thought you should know that I knew before we continued anything. I don’t want to trick you or lie to you.”

Anxiety felt a wave of guilt overcome him. He shouldn’t be leading them astray like this. But what could he say? Hey, I’m also the guy that’s been texting you for the past 7 months. Hope this doesn’t pressure you into liking me. Anxiety mentally shook his head. No, he couldn’t do that. But he also couldn’t fully lie to them. Maybe some half-lies would make it better?

“I already knew.” Roman’s eyes shot up.

“How? We just figured it out today!”

“Apparently you told my friend too. Unless he made up the exact same story when he asked for the VIP tickets?” There, Virgil can be Anxiety’s friend. Close enough to where it would make sense for Anxiety and Virgil to know things that they shouldn’t, while far enough to draw away suspicion.

Roman’s jaw dropped. “You know Virgil?”

Anxiety nodded, taking a bite out of his sandwich. “Mmhm. He’s a good friend of mine. He sometimes goes on tour with us.”

Before Anxiety could even blink, he suddenly had a face full of Roman. “What’s he like?”

Anxiety stared, dumbfounded. “What?”

Roman huffed, the light never leaving his eyes. “Virgil. What’s he like? I’ve been talking to him for months, but we’ve never met face-to-face. So, what’s he like?”

It took a few moments for Anxiety to talk again. He wanted to know about Virgil? Not the literal rockstar in front of him? “Well, he’s sarcastic, for one (yep). He likes to spend money on people he cares about (you, Logan, Patton). He bounced around the foster system for a while, but I don’t know why (why didn’t anyone want me?). He has really bad anxiety (hence the persona), so he doesn’t go to any of my concerts (not as Virgil). He talks about you a lot (I can’t stop myself. I bring at least one of you up in every conversation I have with J and Re).”

“He does?” He looked so… happy? Hopeful? Unsettled? Virgil couldn’t tell.

“Yeah, he’s always blabbering about what you said that day or what he’s planning on getting you (not a lie). So, now that you know what I think of him, now it’s your time to spill. Who’s Virgil to you?”

Roman suddenly had a strange look on his face. Anxiety couldn’t name the emotion in his eyes. “Virgil is… different. He has such a cynical view of the world, yet he still makes lighthearted puns. He’s doesn’t want to meet us in person, yet he spends so much money on us. He can’t bake for shit, and he sends adorable apology chocolates when he thinks we’re upset. He loves Halloween and Disney. He listens when we need someone to talk to, and he rambles off random facts when we need a distraction. He comforts Patton when he’s sad. He makes Logan laugh after a tiring day, even if Lo plays it off as exasperation. He calms me down when I think that the world’s against me.” He sighed. “I wish he trusted us enough to let us meet him. I respect his wishes, but it’s hard, y’know? Trusting someone that you’ve never met.”

Anxiety felt another wave of guilt, this one even stronger. He opened his mouth before thinking. “I’m sure he’ll open up to you soon.”

“Really?!” Roman looked up, with so much… joy, and hope, and that same emotion that Anxiety couldn’t name. He recognized it somewhere, but he couldn’t remember where.

Anxiety smirked, internally screaming. “Of course. You think I’d lie about something like that? He just needs to build up his confidence first. Once he does, he’ll be dying to meet ya.” His smirk softened to a half-smile. “And from what I’ve seen so far from you, Angel, and Starlight, he won’t be disappointed.” Anxiety checked the time on his phone. “Well, your lunch ends in 2 minutes, and I’ve gotta go. See ya later, Hottie.” And with that, Anxiety stood up and walked away.

Virgil was surprised that his comment about opening up didn’t make him feel guilty. Instead, he felt… relieved? Hopeful? He couldn’t tell. But it felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. I do have to tell them eventually. Might as well promise it. Pressure myself into actually doing it.

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Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @arodynamic-enby @sanderssides-angst

#useless gays #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #sanders sides fic

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mydisasteracademia · 3 years

Text

SFW Alphabet: Toshinori Yagi

You all know the drill. Full post under the cut. I’m using his skinny form for this, of course.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He can be fairly affectionate. If you can get past how flustered he can be around you, he won’t shy away from having an arm around your waist or a good hug.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He’s very attentive as a best friend. He loves meeting with you and just sitting and talking together. The two of you met when you accidentally bumped into him at the supermarket and offered to take him out for lunch as an apology. You hit it off immediately.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

When you’re both alone, he loves it when you cuddle against him. You can’t exactly sit in his lap too often, but if you want to see him blush, just sit him in yours. He gets embarrassed, but he enjoys the feeling of your arms around his skinny frame.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He can cook and clean fairly well, having lived on his own for most of his life. He’s not around enough to keep this squeaky, but it looks decent enough. In his younger years he might’ve thought about settling down once or twice, but he’s practically married to the job already, so he doesn’t give it much thought.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

It would totally run him through the wringer, but he would sit you down and quietly admit that he wants to split. It hurts him so much, but he feels like it’s the best decision.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Not too quick to settle down, given his middle age. Deep down, he’s lonely and would like to get married, but not very many people can look past his gangly, skeletal form. It would take him a long time to think out marriage to you and it would have to be very late in your relationship for him to even consider popping the question.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s incredibly, impossibly gentle with you. Most of all he loves to see you smile and he never raises his voice at you. He loves just running his hands across your skin and seeing the way you look at him. Nobody has ever looked at him that way and he won’t lie, it feels amazing.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He loves hugs. Especially your hugs. He can feel the stress melt away whenever he feels your arms around him. Of course, he loves reciprocating. He enjoys pulling you close and feeling your softness against him. His hugs are a little bony/pokey, but you can hear his heartbeat against your ear and it’s calming.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It takes him a while to get out of denial about his feelings. Likely something has to push him into saying it first -- if you were in danger and he rescued you (or vice versa), or maybe you got sick and he said it while he thought you were delirious.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He’s a very patient person and as such doesn’t get jealous easily. He may be a bit uncomfortable with certain people around you, but he tries his best to shove those feelings down unless he seriously doubts your safety around them.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are tentative and light, as if he’s afraid of hurting you. He mainly gives you forehead kisses due to your smaller stature, but he likes picking you up and kissing you properly on the lips. If you want to fluster him, kiss his scar - he blushes and covers his face, but he likes your soft lips on his skin. He likes it most when you kiss his cheek.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He’s very good around children, having spent most of his life around civilians and doing meet-and-greets with all ages. If and when he can, he might pull out the muscled form for a young child to dazzle them. Unfortunately, not every child is fond of his skinny appearance.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He’s regimented, having had the same kind of schedule for most of his life. He gets up early to jog, and if you’re up he likes it when you join him. Otherwise once he’s done he’ll take a shower and wake you up for breakfast.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

In the evenings, he likes to sit with you and talk about your day. He likes hearing your voice and can get lost in thought around you (luckily you think it’s cute most of the time). After dinner, you both might settle down and watch some TV or read, maybe shower together, and when it’s time for bed he likes holding you close to his chest.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Of course, there are some things he just can’t tell you, but as you become friends, he gets more and more open about certain details of his life with you. He has so many stories to tell, especially recently about working with Yuuei. If you already know his identity as All Might, he has hilarious stories about Nighteye and David Shield too. Sometimes when he’s sad, he may get into fond memories of his mentor, Nana.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He has patience to spare. He’s literally so patient. It takes a lot to set Toshinori off, but messing with his loved ones is a surefire way to get that smile to drop.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He likes to remember all he can learn about you, just to surprise you in little ways here or there. Your favorite breakfast on weekend mornings, maybe your favorite type of flower on a date night, a new blouse he noticed in your favorite color that he figured would look good on you... He doesn’t remember everything you tell him, but he knows a good bit about you.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment is when he first realized he loved you. He’d gotten horribly sick with a flu passing around the Yuuei dorms, and you were nursing him one night. He recalls rousing from unconsciousness to you humming as you patted his forehead with a cool cloth, and the first thing he thought in his drowsy state was “I love you.”

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He’s very protective. Not to the extreme, of course; he knows you can moderately handle yourself, but he will step in if he sees you need help. He appreciates it when you show him that you’ve got his back too. More than once someone has cornered him, and he feels relieved when you step in to help.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He really does put effort into your relationship. He remembers birthdays, dates, anniversaries... he tries to make date night a regular thing, but sometimes shit happens and he can’t make it. He does offer to make it up to you, though. Ever since you insisted he move in with you, he does more than his share of chores whenever he has to miss quality alone time with you.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

This man is so horribly self-sacrificing of everything. He lives like he has to bear the weight of the world on his shoulders, and if he’s upset, he’s going to keep it inside for as long as he can. He wouldn’t dare hurt you, but he can take that too far and even actively avoid you in the name of keeping you safe.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He doesn’t feel too obligated to look dapper every day, but he does try to look presentable. He knows his appearance can be off-putting for the average person, and it does make him a little self-conscious.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

It would be heart-breakingly hard, but eventually, he could learn to live apart from you. It would be incredibly difficult not to feel that emptiness in his heart without you there, though.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Has the habit of calling students ‘my boy’ or ‘young lady’. Some people have teased him that he’s a father now, just to see him blush and try to deny it. (Especially when it comes to Midoriya.)

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Nothing villainous or mean-spirited. He’s faced far too many villains in his day to tolerate any of that behavior. The minute you give him reason to believe you’re actually more morally-dark than he first thought, he’s confronting you about it.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Depending on his schedule, he actually gets some good sleep. Of course, now that he’s not out chasing villains every day of his life he can rest easier.

#sfw alphabet #toshinori yagi #yagi toshinori #all might

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somethingusefulfromflorida · 4 years

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TLDR: Republicans believe themselves to be infallible and cannot be convinced otherwise

Republicans think America is perfect and always has been, while simultaneously believing that America is DOOMED and ON THE EDGE OF COLLAPSE at all times and want to bring us back to the Before Times™ when men were men and women were household appliances and minorities were someone else’s problem. If you bring up a genuine critique of American culture or history they throw a pissbaby shit fit and start spewing nationalist platitudes, “America: Like It or Leave It!” All their complaints stem from their perceived self-importance being eroded; they don’t like to realize that other people with differing opinions exist and should have their voices heard. If a “brown” or a “black” or a “red” or a “yellow” is allowed to speak, that just means there’s one less space for a “white.” All their complaints come from a slippery slope argument that if we don’t model our society after their specific cherrypicked interpretation of The Bible then we will degenerate into amoral savagery.

They say being gay is an abomination and allowing it will damn our children to hell; what they really think is that it’s gross and they don’t want to see things they think are gross. There’s literally no good argument against marriage equality besides “I don’t personally like it.” America is not a theocracy, so the belief system of Christianity should not be construed as the law of the land. This stems from their belief that the Bible is infallible, “because the Bible says so.” They don’t know and don’t want to know about the history behind it, nor the very contentious political landscapes at the times the books were written, nor the personal biases of the very human authors. If the Bible is a literal textbook, then why? What makes it so special? By whose authority were its contents collated and designated THE Good Book? If the Bible is literal, why not the works of Homer, or the Epic of Gilgamesh? Just because the Bible says the Bible is right doesn’t make it so. For the record, I am a Christian, and I think the Bible is just an old book. I’m a Christian in that I follow the teachings of Christ, which can be summed up as “DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE.” I live by that, and All the ChrINOs (Christians in Name Only) need to learn it. Jesus would be ashamed of what he saw today.

They say that abortion is baby murder, on par with ritual human sacrifice and Satan worship. They don’t understand biology, they have a Sunday School understanding of philosophy, and live in a world so black and white that they can’t even imagine a reason someone would have an abortion besides that they’re a terrible person; a woman who would have an abortion is unfit to be a mother in their eyes because they see abortion as equivalent to smothering a baby with a pillow because you don’t want to take care of it anymore. “He or she is alive, he or she has a heart beat!” Well, at this point is is just a blob of tissue, not a living person; a heart beat alone does not make something alive or dead. Your life comes from your brain, not your heart. If someone is alive the moment their heart starts, then they must be dead the moment is stops, so CPR is necromancy. A person isn’t considered dead until their brain is dead, so if they wanted to argue that life begins at brain activity they would have a stronger argument, though still weak because brain activity is not personhood either. Patients in permanent vegetative states on life support may have some brain activity, but they are effectively dead. There is no way a judge, appointed by senators elected by the people of the United States, can prove that not only do souls exist but that they are created the second a sperm fertilizes an egg. If “souls” exist, they aren’t so much created as built up over time as we gain new experienced and our brains develop. What we are is electricity in a ball of meat jelly in our skulls, and that comes to being at a point after which abortions are already banned. Conservatives also just want to control women; Roe v. Wade isn’t explicitly about the right to an abortion, it is about the right to body autonomy. Do women have the right to control their own bodies, or do they defer that right to their fathers and husbands? Are women people or property? Can a man make decisions on a woman’s behalf? “You must forgive my daughter; as a simple minded woman she’s fallen into a stupor of female hysteria. We’ll have the family doctor bring out the smelling salts and leaches.”

They say that certain vices are crimes against God, but only when some people do it. Divorce is a sin because marriage is sacred, except when a conservative does it, then it’s totally justified because of such and such explanation. Tattoos are the mark of the beast, worn by degenerates and lesbians, except when a conservative does it, then it’s just art and harmless self expression. Marijuana is a gateway drug and we need to lock away its addicts and throw away the key, unless a conservative does it, then it’s just recreational, no big deal, we don’t want to ruin the [white] boy’s future because of it. A black person who does cocaine is a criminal, a white person who does cocaine is a public figure (you’d be surprised how many actors and politicians regularly use coke; they have to have high energy 24/7 in case there are any cameras, so they need uppers to keep themselves presentable). This all springs from the fundamental conservative philosophy of “it’s okay when WE do it, but not when YOU do it.” That’s the long and short of it. The in-group is allowed to do things, but the out-group isn’t. It’s the Us vs Them mentality taken to the logical extreme; WE are people, THEY are monsters. WE are allowed to have faults, THEY have to stay in line and follow all the rules. OUR lives matter, THEIR lives are lesser. When you strip away the showy bits and get down to the core of their beliefs, everything stems from their desire to hurt anyone who isn’t them. They want power, they want to be special, they want the Good Guys™ to always prevail over the Bad Guys™, and they want to be the ones to decide who is good and who is bad. Their opinions are the only ones that matter, everyone else is wrong because they’re not them. Now, it’s not like you could solve every problem by opening up your mind to new opinions; there are some issues that are indeed black and white with objectively right and wrong answers, but they live in a world where they are incapable of being wrong. They see personal growth as a betrayal of the self, that admitting a fault is terrible, that apologizing and learning from a mistake is traitorous. No, they have to double down on every single one of their beliefs to re-instill it in their minds. They can never doubt themselves, because God will punish them forever if they ever have doubt. They can’t ask questions or look at things from other perspectives because that would be an admission that their perspectives are fallible. They are afraid of changing their minds so much that they refuse to even listen when someone explains their opinions because they don’t want to have their minds co-opted by Satan’s LIES! If they hear something convincing, it’s all over, their entire world collapses, everything they believe is a lie, they lose, they go to hell forever, The End.

That is the dichotomy under which Republicans live their lives. Nothing matters but what they believe. They don’t believe what they believe for logical reasons, so no amount of logic will ever make them not believe it. They’re making up their own rules to win. You’re playing Rock-Paper-Scissors and they throw Nuclear Bomb, which defeats all three, so you lose. You say that’s not fair, they say tough. You throw Nuclear Bomb, and they say they have a bomb proof shield, so the bomb doesn’t hurt them but kills you, so you lose. You can’t even beat them at their own game because they’ve been playing it longer, and they cry foul when you stoop to their level, suddenly saying that you need to be the bigger person, walking right up to the line of admitting that what they do is wrong but not quite getting there, simply reverting to the complaint that you shouldn’t be allowed to do it. “I can, but YOU can’t.” That’s why it infuriates me when nobody ever calls out a Republican for their hypocrisy. They do something, a Democrat does that exact same thing, they cry foul, but nobody ever says “well, you didn’t have a problem when you did it,” they just try to excuse their own actions rather than demand justification for theirs. Democrats are always on the defensive, they always look like they’re losing even when they’re winning, so the Republicans can use that to build their base and rally together for the occasional victory (Democrats won 7 of the last 8 presidential elections; the last Republican to legitimately win the presidency was George H.W. Bush in 1988).

I don’t know how you’d even begin to fight someone who is this far down the rabbit hole of self denial.

Democrats self-reflect, Republicans self-deflect.

Democrats are progressive, Republicans are regressive.

Now I’m sure there are no Republicans reading this, but if there are they’ll make themselves known and “totally refute” everything I’ve said with some paper thin argument that doesn’t stand up to scrutiny, but they don’t care because it stands up to them. They only need to show one example of a Democrat failing to write off the entire party; they only need to show one black Republicans to deny the existence of racism; one gay Republican denies homophobia; one women denies sexism. They are the party of tokenism.

They will point out the mote of dust in your eye and ignore the plank in their own.

Debate me, I have nothing better to do with my time, I’m a dirty libtard cuckflake soyboy beta with a case full of participation trophies and handouts paid for by other people’s tax dollars (funny, they think handouts are for degenerates, except when they get them. Inheritance? Privilege? Never heard of them!)

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fmdhaseo · 4 years

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ヽ(〃＾▽＾〃)ﾉ wOoOoOoOow i’m so excited to be here finally!! typically i’m a pretty ~ minimalistic ~ person when it comes to formatting ‘n stuff, but i’ma go a little ham on this introduction because i’m really excited!! ANYWHO, my name’s cheyenne ( but please call me chey ) and i represent the drastically under-appreciated mst. i use he/him pronouns, and for anyone who’s curious, i’m 21+!! i’ve been eying this group for awhile now, but hadn’t joined because of school and work reasons, but my town’s in lockdown, so i finally have a bunch of new time on my hands to write!! now that that’s outta the way though, please love me and my first ever muse here!! her name is jeon haseo and she’s lucid’s main vocalist and lead dancer. in my head, she sounds a bit like wjsn’s yeonjung, gfriend’s yuju, and dreamcatcher’s siyeon when she sings, and when she dances, she reminds lots of people of twice’s mina and her gorgeous face-claim, wjsn’s bona!! she’s a former prima ballerina at a dance company in korea that she was pushed out of due to accusations of favoritism, and even though the board at the school were adamant against said accusations, it was lowkey kinda true lol. her dad is a former dancer that’s received tons of acclaim in the dance world, and it’s said that his name is what landed her all her opportunities in ballet —- whoops!! she doesn’t really know that though, but before i carry on too much, you can read more of my ramblings about her below the cut!! [ youtuber vc ] don’t forget to smash that like button if you wanna plot with us!!

i. —- haseo was born in seoul, south korea to a dancer and plastic surgeon, so they had a lot of money to sit on while they raised their daughter. she was brought up in prestigious dance rehearsal spaces, as well as in top-of-the-line hospitals, but instead of wanting to follow in her mother’s footsteps, she decided it’d be more fun to dance like her dad!! she showed promise when she was little, so they nurtured her talents as best they could.

ii. —- her childhood really wasn’t all that bad, to be honest, like, she never struggled with making friends, she got everything she wanted, her parents were supportive... what more could she have really asked for, you know? she got along with everyone due to her many interests —- from ballet, to video games, to barbies, to monster trucks —- but that all sorta changed whenever she entered high school. being that she attended a school for the arts danced with a company in their junior program, and had a reputable father, a lot of people started to be really catty with her. she learned how ugly the world could be at a pretty small age, and it’s deffff affected how she sees the world and deals with her problems.

iii. —- fast forward to high school graduation, haseo gets offered a spot in a professional company to dance ballet almost immediately. a little sketchy? perhaps, but what’s even sketchier is that she was offered the leading role in her first ever show. vile words spread throughout the whole school and due to the accusations of favoritism, the company decided to terminate her contract rip. she became big sad and almost didn’t dance again until [ spoiler alert ] she was given a chance to audition for dimensions entertainment!!

iv. —- she didn’t really wanna become an idol, but she did it anyway because she wanted to dance for a career. she really didn’t even need to have a career with how much money her parents made, but it was important to her to be financially independent, so she decided to stick with it to see if it’d work. long story short, she discovered that she’s a FAB singer, and her long history of dance def helped her standout from the crowd. she trained for two years before her debut, and like, when she was announced to be main vocalist, she literally almost died i think lmao. like, the fact that she was granted main vocal but not main dancer really shook her ass up, but she accepted her fate and tried her best.

v. —- the concept changes were a whirlwind, but she likes the more soft vibes that the schoolgirl trilogy gave her. she also thinks it makes better use of her dance skills, but she isn’t really the one in control here now is she? ANYWAY —- her career is blossoming a lot and she’s really excited, but at the same time, she despises that she’s a person of public scrutiny now. she never wanted that to happen at the level that it has, but she puts up with it because she feels she already made her bed, so now she’s gotta lie in it. not to mention that she has some of her old peers from dance starting an online hate group to hate on her, so you know... this isn’t exactly what she had in mind for her life, but she just takes it in stride and hopes that, someday, it’ll make for good stories to tell her grandkids lol.

vi. —- i realize that i haven’t really given a description of her personality or her as a person yet, and well, that sucks, so i’ma do it right here, right now!! how would i describe haseo? let’s see —- she’s kinda, like, prissy but it’s definitely more outwardly adorable than it is obnoxious, if that makes sense? she HATES getting dirt on her clothes, she hates having crud under her nails, and she hates when other people lack personal hygiene skills, but she was taught well and doesn’t really voice her harsh judgments unless she’s provoked lol. it also appears to me that she has tons of patience naturally, but is also kind of a hot-head if you actually manage to piss her off, so good luck to your muses if that happens!! she also HATES being woken up from sleep, like, she’ll literally kill you if you do. she’s more than likely gotten into tons of fights with other lucid girls because of it —- whoops!! she’s also SUPER femme, to be honest? she takes way too long to get ready before leaving the house, and almost refuses to leave looking a mess. her hair is always immaculate, her makeup is BEAT, and her clothes are gorgeous, and all paid for with daddy’s card lmao. other than all that though, she doesn’t really fit the “rich girl” stereotype in that she doesn’t act like a snob to just anyone, yk? she’s really open to meeting new people, and she’s a fiercely loyal friend to people she loves, as well as a HOPELESS ROMANTIC [ she’s a taurus, after all ] with her bfs/gfs. she’s also MAD cuddly with anyone, like, she doesn’t give a fuck, she communicates v well with physicality and touch!! if you got any questions ab her, don’t hesitate to lmk!!

#* ♡ ｡ intro.#* ♡ ｡ ooc. / i’m so happy to be here! ★~(◠△◕✿)

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writingsilly · 4 years

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Underwater (ch. V)

Description: Your bad behaviour led you to stay the whole summer in your town of birth with your grandfather. The very first day, you went for a walk to the beach and had an encounter with a stranger that would change your whole life.

Pairing: Reader x Merman!Taehyung.

Genre: Angst, suspense, sci-fi.

Trigger warnings (!!!): Blood, swearing, angst.

Click here to read in AO3!

V: Information

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[Masterlist]

“You’re gonna accept what I just said just like that?” He asked.

That was a good question, actually. Taehyung had done nothing but show you how decisive and dangerous he was, but was he worth your trust? It did not matter how much time you thought about it, though. He had made a request and you had to follow it.

So you did not say anything. Your throat was still burning, even swallowing was unbearably painful.

Taehyung sighed and stretched his arm, displaying a golden bracelet right in front of your face. You would not have thought much about it if a little pendant had not shone in the moonlight. It was a little larger than a coin with a small wave carved in it.

“This may seem like a cheap piece of rubbish,” he said, “but it’s actually a family relic. It has been worn by several kings, and a queen, within generations. Now, it’s my turn to wear it.”

You leaned over, ready to touch the pendant to examine it, but Taehyung was fast to pull back his arm.

“This,” he spoke again, his tone severe, warning, “I’m doing it because it’s the only way for you to believe me. I need you to believe me, not to ask questions. Got it?”

With that being said, he took off the bracelet and grabbed your wrist, pulling it so that you would show your opened palm. He let the cold chain in your hand. You heard the clicking of the metal and wondered if that was real gold or some kind of painted metal.

But now that you had this, what were you supposed to do with it? It could be a useless accessory, for all you knew.

“This town holds more information on mermaids than you might think. You just need to know where to look. Not everything you might find is true, but, I have to admit, some humans have got close to us,” he let out the last part with some kind of sadness.

If you asked any questions, you knew that Taehyung would not answer them clearly. Even when he tried so hard to hide, be mysterious, you noticed certain things. You knew better not to test him or push your luck. Whatever he gave, you would have to work with it. So moments like these, where he would give information in exchange for nothing, were special and rare.

You looked at him, hoping for him to tell you more. His naked chest expanded while he turned his gaze to the night sky. He looked so lost in thought, maybe even memories. With his profile, unbelievably well-proportioned, being highlighted by the moon, you felt your eyes glued to his image. There was always something interesting to watch, to discover, being his tanned skin or the mole hidden between his inferior eyelashes. You could not lie and say that Taehyung was not a fair creature, but that was not a surprise. You may not be an expert, but if there was something you knew about mermaids it was that their beauty was undeniable, mermen were not the exception to that fact, you confirmed it after meeting Taehyung. The air around him seemed to buzz with the most elegant harmony you had ever heard and, even in the dark, he radiated a golden light. He was luminescent, all the time. A vibrating light followed his figure with every move. Such lively energy for a being so despicable.

Maybe you could learn a thing or two from him. The first one being; looks are deceiving.

“Look for information,” he simply added. “You might stop flinching every time I look at you if you know what you’re dealing with. You might also know the seriousness of my threats, too.”

You closed your hand around the bracelet. It was the only thing you could do if you thought about it. This pendant held more than what the eye could see, and if you wanted to get out of this alive, and save your grandfather in the process, you had to do whatever it took.

You could go home once Taehyung indicated you what he wanted you to do and told you, yet again, what would happen if you did not obey. According to him, he “did not want to be more time than necessary between impure humans, no offence.” Of course, you replied with a dry “not taken” because even when you were not sure what he and his people thought to know about humans, you could easily name a few things about your kind that fell on the category of vile.

Taehyung knew exactly what he wanted to learn, he did not hesitate to tell you point by point, which were simply three; friendship, family and love. If something came up in the middle of your lessons, he would ask, he informed you. You were just begging that it would not happen. The less you had to teach him, the faster he would go back to the depths of the sea to rule his underwater reign or whatever. You did not know him, at all, but something told you that Taehyung would be a cold-blooded king. He did not hesitate to make his point with you, you doubted it would be different somewhere else. And you did not know why, but you wondered if that was a good quality of him if you talked about being king.

Once in bed, you could not help but wonder about his world. How different it might be from yours, how humans affected it, because, surely, all those talks about global warming were not to be taken as a simple joke. Your world influenced theirs directly. But you also thought about his people. If Taehyung thought of you as such evil creatures, did the rest of them believe the same? Or were they just scared of the information they were given about humans?

That was when it hit you; they knew nothing about you, just as you knew nothing about them. When talking about knowledge of one another, it was like a dog chasing its own tail; someone had to step in, put an end to it, and Taehyung was doing just that, you guessed.

“Are you planning something for today?”

The already gooey cereal stared back at you until you decided you were done with it and pushed it away from you. The thought of you browsing books of mermaids and fairy tales, all under the gaze of these overly curious inhabitants of this town… Yeah, that seemed like a good way to spend your way if you did not want to die.

“I’m going to the bookstore,” you replied with a smile. And your throat still hurt. A lot. But you had you ignore it if you did not want questions you could not answer.

Your grandfather seemed excited by the idea, as his eyes lighted up and his lazy posture changed suddenly, as he leaned slightly over the table like he was about to tell you the juiciest secret ever.

“The best store in town is the one you went to yesterday,” he informed you with a wink, “Miss Kim has the rarest books, the ones that you can’t find on the internet, all for a good price. Tell her I sent you and she might lend them to you.”

Not that you were disappointed by the first thing he said, but when he mentioned Miss Kim, your eyes widened.

“You know her?” You asked, a little bit hesitant, to which he only replied with a shrug and a smile that annoyed you because of the lack of verbal confirmation.

You were under the impression that your grandfather never left his house unless he wanted to take a walk or to buy groceries, or something he needed with urgency, but with this new information, you were left in the dark. You had never thought of him as someone mysterious, but now you had to? Not that you blamed him. You were hiding things from him as well.

“That’s all I’m gonna get?” You asked again. “Fine. I’ll have to ask her, then.”

Another thing to look into, you would add it to the list.

The unforgiving sun was punishing you with all its force. Your cap seemed useless at this point. It just encapsulated the heat, and after a few minutes walking over the hot road, you started to wonder if your head could sweat this much, or if it could even sweat. Today, you had chosen to wear sneakers, not sandals, as you had gained a brand new appreciation for your feet over these three days. Once you thought you might lose one over a demon under a dock, there was no turning back from that, was there?

With your eyes literally on your feet, because you did not want to lose your sight by looking at the sky, you made your way to the book store. With Taehyung’s bracelet burning your skin from the back pocket of your shorts, just to make itself go noticed, you sighed. Luckily for you, you remembered the way well. Your life depended on it, so no biggie, right?

It was strange to walk around town and not to hear cars or people talking on their phones. You had grown used to the sounds and lights of the city. You could not quite decide if you liked it better or not. In the city, even when you had never thought of it as home like this town was, you never felt completely alone. Even when you tried to get away from everything and everyone, there was always the distant lights of the buildings, the cars, the busy streets to keep you company. Here, however, the only thing you received were dirty looks from silent people. In a town this small, everyone knew everyone, their story, some of their secrets, because they always get discovered one way or another. The story of the little girl who went to the city and came back years after. That must have been quite a piece of gossip when you left. So, you were sure they knew you were that girl. You were sure that they were wondering why you came back, and why your father was not with you.

It was weird to be in the middle of people who knew about you, but you knew nothing about.

“You came back?”

You turned around and found Namjoon, all dimples and baggy clothes that made you question his sanity and if his body felt how damn hot it was today. He walked towards you while he put his phone in his pocket. The height difference would have made you laugh if circumstances were different.

You nodded with your eyes on his. His smile grew only bigger, and you appreciated it.

“Glad to see you again, then. My grandmother is out, so…”

You already knew what was coming. He was going to say that you should come back another day, but the thing was, you did not have another day. You were meant to meet Taehyung tonight and give him his bracelet back. You could not let Namjoon say it.

“Is–” your voice cracked, and you noticed how Namjoon was taken back by your sudden interruption. You coughed to cover that up. “Is there any way that you could let me in? I wouldn’t ask, but I’m desperate.”

You could not stop to care about how pathetic you might have looked in Namjoon’s eyes, but it was not necessary because he let out a chuckle, his smile meeting his eyes, and reached his back pocket. The sound of metal clicking together had never felt so relieving.

“I was going to let you in, but hearing you beg is so much fun. Now, add a “please” and a “thank you” and I might open the door.”

“You’re enjoying my suffering, aren’t you?”

He hummed.

“Every part of it,” he confirmed. You glared at him and crossed your arms. Namjoon laughed. “Fine. Only ‘cause you came back.”

The moment you entered the store, the characteristic smell of old books hit you with full force. You had not noticed it before, but now you could see why your grandfather told you that this was the best bookstore in town (if there were more). Besides the numerous shelves full of books, they were also scattered all over the dusty floor, like they did not matter, forgotten.

“What were you looking for?” Namjoon asked while he closed the door behind him.

Hell, if you only knew...

The number of books was intimidating and you had not started yet.

The problem with Miss Kim’s book store was that it was a mess. There were books, of course, scented candles (some of them used), unlabelled boxes which awakened your curiosity. Without any help, you could be years looking for a trustful source of information. Something had told you that the internet was not going to be useful, so you chose to come here, but looking at this disaster, you were reconsidering reading that article on sea creatures you had found in liveyourfantasy.com.

No, books were more reliable.

“How many books do you have here?”

Namjoon frowned, surely asking himself why on earth would you be interested in that, but then shrugged.

“Grandma is always getting new books. The boxes are full of them.”

So that was what they contained. Now you were sure that there was no way you could find any book related to mermaids if you did it by yourself.

“Do you have anything about mermaids?”

Come to think of it, sea creatures were kind of one of the few attractions this little town had. Of course they were only a simple trick to lure tourists here, but you could not be the only one who had ever come here and asked for a book related to it. Although you were confident that Namjoon would not ask any questions, he allowed himself to look at you with a puzzled expression. And you could not exactly blame him. You had come here, desperate, and all for a book about mermaids? It seemed strange. You would have reacted the same way.

But anything Namjoon was thinking to ask, he shut it up, as he walked behind the desk and typed on the ancient computer covered in dust. It took some time, loaded with awkward coughs (mostly from you). While you waited, you stared at him. You noticed the eye bags, deep, that described an endless night. His messy hair confirmed it.

“Rough night?”

You did not know what came over you. Namjoon seemed like a nice guy, someone who you would like to be friends with if your situation was not so complicated. And maybe that was why you could not help but feel interested in him, in what he had done last night that kept him awake.

“I was actually with Yoongi and Jimin,” he answered with a smile, looking at you for just a second before returning his gaze to the computer screen.

“Your friends?”

“Yes. I asked them about that Kim Taehyung you told me about.”

You had completely forgotten about that little detail. Not that it mattered. Now you knew that his friends had never heard of Taehyung because he did not exist on the surface. All you had on him was his name… And the fact that he was a merman.

“Oh, well. Whatever they know...” you chuckled. Dismissing the subject, trying to make Namjoon forget all about it, that was what you wanted to do. “I gave up. I don’t think he’d like to meet me again, so–”

“What makes you say that?”

He sounded so surprised. He led all his attention to you. The atmosphere between shifted so quickly, it almost left you without air or words to say. One of the most sincere looks you had seen in a long time was Namjoon’s. Under it, you found yourself almost babbling as if you had done something wrong. He was waiting for your answer, though, so you pushed it out of your throat.

“No reason. Just a feeling,” you mumbled.

Once again, whatever he was thinking, he kept it to himself. That only made you even more interested in what his mind held. You could tell, there were a lot of things unsaid in that head of his and you wondered if he would ever speak them out, if he would feel relieved or regret it if someone hears them.

“Oh!” He exclaimed out of the blue. “We have some books about them, actually. Thought we had sold them all. Are you looking for tales...”

“Informative works, if that makes any sense?”

A few days ago, it would not have made any sense to you. Things could change so quickly around here, it was scary.

“Well, information…” he hummed, and with a few clicks of the mouse, he smiled. “The book is quite old, but we have it in pretty good conditions, considering.”

He walked to a random shelf and ran his finger through the spines of the books displayed until he found the one he was looking for. It was almost at the end, waiting to be held and given a look. An ancient, worn-out book, all black, it was the kind of book that could have gone unnoticed easily.

As he checked it out to confirm it was, in fact, the book he was looking for, you read the spine of it. In golden, cursive letters, it read “Mysteries of the Sea”. Before handing it to you, Namjoon gave you a secretive look.

“This one is one of the oldest books we own. The author is unknown, but–”

“Unknown?”

You did not let him give it to you as a normal person would do, you just snatched it from his hands. It was heavy, and when you opened it, you realised that your first impressions were correct; the pages were yellow and a little crumpled. There were no chapters, just words and words with no division apart from paragraphs. It did not seem that it had an actual end.

As he had stated, there was no name of the author, which seemed strange. You had always thought that the best part of achieving something, like writing a book or directing a movie, was to put your name on it and make everyone remember it.

“I assume it was a woman the one who wrote it?” Namjoon suggested. “Some books were written by women, but their names are nowhere to be seen, it’s not uncommon.”

“Why?”

“With books this old, you can imagine, right? A woman writing and publishing her own work at that time? It would’ve brought embarrassment to her family.”

It sounded stupid, but the book felt much heavier after hearing that. There was no way you could confirm that story, but if it was true; if that woman truly wanted it published despite what her family might have thought, it had to be significant, something she had thought it may help others, not only her. In your mind, going against your family was not something you chose to do just because. There had to be something worth that courage.

With new determination, maybe even renewed hope, you clutched it against your chest.

“How much?”

Namjoon let out a long sigh, but smiled, and shrugged. “It’s yours if you want it.”

“But–”

“But, only if you promise to come back,” he finished your sentence.

“You mean to the bookstore or this town?”

“Let’s start with the bookstore,” he replied, “for now.”

The thing about Namjoon, he was sincere, he seemed sincere. He was the kind of person that made you trust. But not satisfied with that, the universe also gave him another quality; everything he said seemed like a promise. How many days had passed since you first met him? One. Nevertheless, he managed to make you feel like he had known you since forever.

And you could not say no to him. He had helped you a lot, and you actually enjoyed his company. Why would you say no? Because you did not want anyone involved with you until you could get rid of a certain someone.

The sound of the bell right above the door made you turn around. Two guys of the same height walked in with the same expression of confusion that you probably had. One of them, carrying a big paper bag, wet at the bottom, spotted dazzling blue hair and an oversized black shirt with ripped jeans and sandals of the same colour. The other one, three cups of soda in hand, looked straight out of a fairy tale, with pale pink hair and simpler clothes; a white t-shirt and black shorts and sandals.

“Who’s she?” One guy asked as he set the bag on the desk.

“Another grandchild,” Namjoon smiled. You belonged somewhere, even after you had left years ago, he made sure you knew that.

The answer seemed to be enough for him, because he looked at you, acknowledging your presence, and dropped all his weight on the chair. Unbothered, he proceeded to take out food from the bag; three complete burgers. When he noticed your stare, he lifted one close to your face.

“Want some?” A teasing tone that reminded you of Taehyung was not quite what you were expecting from a boy this short. It caught you off guard when a freezing shiver went down your spine.

Now, everyone in the room was looking at you. As much as you wanted to talk, your throat was shut, aching, itching. The pain made you simply shake your head.

“Yoongi, you’re making her uncomfortable,” Namjoon warned.

So he was Yoongi. Despite feeling like someone had punched your stomach, you gave him another look. He did not budge under your scrutiny. It was not hard to tell that he was a tough guy. Namjoon had come off like that too when you first met him, but he was fast to vanish that idea of him out of your head. Yoongi seemed like he was not going to do that any time soon. He even raised his eyebrows when he noticed that you were not redirecting your gaze elsewhere but his face.

“Whatever,” he finally said and broke eye contact with you.

“Well,” the other one, Jimin, you assumed, broke the tension, “if you’re another grandchild, join us!”

The bubbly personality of Jimin, which you were fast to notice, was so welcoming. You truly wanted to sit down, relax for a second, feel like Hoseok and Jungkook were with you again, but could you really do that when you felt Taehyung breathing down your neck?

“You can tell us more about that Kim Taehyung?” Namjoon suggested.

“Oh, so she’s the one you talked to us about?” Jimin exclaimed. He glanced between you and Namjoon. “Now, I see it.”

Namjoon cleared his throat and left the table saying something along the lines of “I’ll get you chairs.”

He was gone, and you could already feel Yoongi and Jimin’s curiosity drown the room. They wanted to ask about Taehyung, you knew that. Whatever they asked, though, you were sure you would never be able to answer. You were also looking for answers and the book that Namjoon had just given you might hold some, you hoped.

As you sat down on the chair Namjoon provided, you tried to avoid Yoongi and Jimin’s gaze. It was not like you did not understand why they were so curious about you. You were kind of expecting Namjoon so ask more questions, but you were grateful that he had not crossed that line yet. And even he did, there was nothing you could do, actually. You felt like running away as far as your legs would take you, but the thought of Taehyung being somewhere in the shadows, waiting for you to be alone was enough to clear your head from those runaway ideas. You were in that funny position where you did not feel safe anywhere.

“What you got there?” Yoongi asked, still chewing his burger, as he pointed at the book you were still pressing against your chest.

“She’s actually interested in mermaids and all that jazz,” Namjoon answered before you could.

Yoongi raised his eyebrows, still looking at you and you felt how your cheeks turned red and warm under those dark eyes.

“You sure you’re from here? Only tourists are interested in that crap.”

“Yoongi!” Jimin butted in.

“What? That’s the only reason people ever come here!”

You wished you could be like Yoongi, so clueless. The way he said things, like there were not a big deal, was something you envied. He walked around, no worries on his mind, not looking over his shoulder every time he heard something suspicious in the bushes. That was a luxury you could not afford anymore. Thinking it through just confirmed it; you could not bring new people to your life. It did not matter how nice they seemed, or how safe they made you feel. You could not include them in your mess.

“Leave her alone, Yoongi,” Namjoon chuckled. “She’s one of us now.”

But it was too late for that.

“It hurts to see her. When the sea is so calm, silent and transparent, it hurts to see her rise to the surface because I know she will have to go back in an hour or two, if I am lucky enough.

Her kind is mysterious. I know it because she doesn’t like to talk about her world underwater. I accept it because I choose to believe that with time, she will warm up to me and tell me all about her, her life, her dreams. Everything my heart desires is to know more about her. It was not only about her people anymore. It was just about her. All my life, I’ve been wondering why are people so interested in mermaids. It took about five minutes with her for me to finally understand the fuzz over these beings. I noticed that every once in awhile, she would accidentally slip up some detail about herself. I try to remember them all, but they are so simple that it only makes me want to cry whenever I try to put them on paper and fail miserably due to my poor memory. I can’t bring my dairy to out meetings in the dock. If she ever found out that I’m writing about her, she would be so furious. I’m scared that she won’t want to see me ever again if she finds out. Nevertheless, I choose to write about her. My life is boring, as you might have assumed. She is the only thing that keeps me from falling on a monotonous spiral of useless and meaningless tasks like going grocery shopping or helping with the bookstore. Sometimes I wonder if I’m as special to her as she is to me. Maybe I’m what she needs to scape her world. In the mornings, I often think about the reasons why she would ignore the dangers and come back to me. My world is not ready for her kind. I’m still getting used to her, how she looks, how different it feels to have her around. The mere thought of someone finding out about her existence is enough to keep these words to myself, under my bed. She often tells me that the ocean can be even crueller than the surface. She warns me that if I get too close to them, it might be dangerous. I don’t care, that’s what I always tell her. We always find a spot, a limit where both of our worlds meet so we can see each other. But I’m scared that the more I see her, the closer I get to touch her, the needier I’ll be…”

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