#I wish I was there when she was doing it lol
Note
Hi, I have a smau request for Charles (based on c.ai bot lol, and the fact that I love painting), so the reader is invited by her friends to a house for vacation, her friends are all with their s/o and they also always try to set up reader with someone, that's when her and Charles meet, and reader finally gives it a chance because she knows her friends won't stop to set her up. They talk for a whole evening about what they do in life (reader is an artist/painter) and they get along really well. Eventually they get together and reader is very liked by the public, even if there will always be haters, but most fans thinks she's just very adorable (especially because of her insta/twitter posts)
CL — slip up and i call you baby
pairing(s): charles leclerc x artist!reader
summary: you love your friends, you really do. you just wish they’d stop trying so hard to set you up with random guys. [smau + written fic] (read on: ao3)
fc: faceless
word count: 5.1k
warnings: mild sexual references
a/n: this is such a cute idea! thank u so much for sending it in!! u will not believe how much this idea gripped me like i never write one shots like this its just unheard of for me if im honest. anyway i know u asked for a smau so i will be doing a second part/continuation to this that is solely an smau to make up for that. (ALSO sorry for disappearing i was super sick for the whole week and have been getting my shit back together in the aftermath😭)
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ynusername italy we are in u!!!
Amalfi Coast, Italy
You’ve never been particularly boy crazy. At least not the same way your friends are.
There have been a few not-quite boyfriend’s over the years, but those relationships never last long. They never really get you, or they never really get the art thing. Which means, of course, that they don’t get you and never will— and that’s fine, you’re content with that. If living for your art means you’ll never be in love then so be it and frankly, good riddance to them.
For the most part, you’ve given up trying. You go on a few dates here and there, but you never let them stick around. Even the ones that seem interested in your paintings you don’t bother with— none of them really seem to be able to grasp what art truly is to you. It isn’t just paint on a canvas, it’s living, it’s breathing. You are only yourself with a way to make art.
It’s difficult to put into words.
So you don’t. Instead, you send texts that say ‘thanks for your time but this isn’t working out’ and you keep the men your friends try to set you up with at arm's length. You placate Chloe and her partner Rowan– who collects friends like they’re Pokémon– with, “he wasn’t my type” and “I’m not looking for a relationship right now”, which you suppose is true, but also isn’t the entirety of it. Yet, every time without fail, there’s a new boy at the scene of the crime.
Chloe doesn’t get it, none of your friends get it. You don’t try to explain it to them. So, y’know, here you are again.
Anyway, here’s the thing: they’re getting closer. Inexplicably, without knowing how you really feel about it all, Chloe and Rowan are getting better and better at picking the boys who are able to tempt you. Which is a pain really, because sometimes you’re trying to have a perfectly nice vacation in Italy without the lure of a boy you can’t let yourself have. But alas, these things generally don’t go your way.
You should know that by now.
Charles Leclerc is bang on the money, he really is. He is unbearably cute, like so cute that you have to leave the room when he walks in, because you don’t trust yourself to be in close proximity to him right now. You have a hard time looking at his face when you are forced to be around him. The dimples when he smiles, the squint of his eyes even when he isn’t. If you look too long you’re liable to stare and that wouldn’t lead to anything good at all.
He’s nice as well. So nice, just like Chloe told you. You try to pretend he doesn’t exist and he still asks you questions about your job and the area of Monaco you live in— like he’s even interested, like he’ll remember you two weeks from now. You try your best to be pleasant, to answer without it being like pulling teeth, and to ask questions of him as well. You’ll probably see him again after this, so best to not to go too far and act like you hate him. It’s difficult though, toeing the line between friendly and encouraging of more. Or it feels difficult for you. Charles doesn’t make even the slightest suggestion of the two of you being set up by your nosy friends. That’s unbearable too. Part of you wishes he’d just make a clumsy pass at you so you can rebuff it and make your intentions abundantly clear. But, obviously, he doesn’t, because he’s perfect or something.
It sucks. You hate him, you think.
Or you want to.
On the second day of the trip, you’re on the villa’s private beach, laying in the hot sun. Chloe, Anaïs and Bea are there; everyone else is either still sleeping off the wine from last night or swimming in the glittering ocean. You’ve got a secondhand book, a 2B pencil and a pair of sunglasses over your eyes. You’re trying to read but you just end up doodling, drawing your friends bikini-clad bodies over the text and shading grapes into the margins. Trying desperately not to accidentally put Charles Leclerc’s dimples, messy hair, or sloped nose to paper.
“So,” Chloe says conspiratorially, as you abort an attempt at drawing a slightly squinted eye with thick lashes, “What do you think of Charles?”
You raise an eyebrow carefully at her over your sunglasses, betraying nothing of your inner turmoil, “I think nothing.”
Anaïs laughs, rolling onto her back, “That’s such shit. You practically sprint away from him everytime he comes near.”
“I do not,” you answer too quickly.
Anaïs laughs again, louder. Chloe joins in and Bea raises her eyebrows at you like you’re a fucking liar. You frown, glaring a little before stubbornly turning your head back to your book. The conversation about Charles ends there, but unfortunately your actions have spoken for themselves. A chill of something like panic chitters up your spine and into your shoulders. You have to roll them to make the feeling go away.
As the sun climbs higher in the sky you lose some people to the heat and gain others. It’s just you and Chloe sweating onto your towels when Rowan and Charles finally give up on whatever game they were playing in the ocean. Rowan collapses unceremoniously into the space between you and Chloe, kicking up sand and getting water droplets all over you like he’s a wet dog. You let out a noise somewhere between a laugh and an exasperated groan as you roll away from him, landing in the sand.
“Watch it,” you cry, “You’re getting my book all wet.”
Rowan laughs, “You’re drawing in it!”
“So.”
He pulls a face at you that makes you roll your eyes; then he turns into Chloe, shoving his face into her collarbone and flinging limbs over her. You snort, leaning over to snag the book off your towel before it gets dragged into the mess that Rowan is causing. You’re about to get up and go inside until you realise Charles is still standing there. Has, in fact, been standing there since Rowan ran over. Your breath catches, heart skipping a beat as you look up to find him standing there.
“Hey,” you smile briefly at him, quickly looking away from his damp hair and bare chest (–which is difficult to do because, holy shit–) so you can gather up your towel.
“Hi,” he replies.
He might smile back. You don’t look. You’re trying to get the image of his washboard abs out of your head. This proves difficult when you clamber to your feet and find yourself face to face with him.
“Are you heading back?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
God, you want to kick yourself. You’re being so awkward, and right in front of Chloe too, who may not be watching but is absolutely listening to you make a fool of yourself in front of a guy you have very firmly said that you are not interested in. It must be clear to him too, that you’re trying very deliberately to not be interested in him. You cant tell what would be worse; if that means he’ll think you’re a weirdo or if it means he’ll take it as a sign that he should make some kind of move.
Ugh.
“I’ll come with you?”
“Hmm,” you blink yourself back into existence, seeing the questioning look on Charles’ face, “Yes, yeah. Sorry.”
You say goodbye to Chloe and Rowan who barely look away from one another, still rolling around in the sand like teenagers.
“Gross,” you say to Charles, as the two of you trudge through hot sand toward the sandstone steps that lead up to the villa.
He laughs, a breathy thing that tapers off with a sigh, “A bit, yes.”
You don’t say anything else, but you find yourself staring at his back and the way his muscles shift and move underneath his tanned skin. At the top of the stairs you part ways, he smiles at you and you offer something awkward in return, trying to pretend you hadn’t been looking at him. You don’t think he notices, but your cheeks red burn anyway.
You don’t see him watching you leave.
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Amalfi Coast, Italy
Dinner is a huge affair, as it always is on these trips.
You, Anaïs and Chloe spend three hours in the kitchen that afternoon making chicken fricassée and about a hundred different side dishes to go with it. Everyone crowds around the dinner table to eat and drink even more wine than the night before. Piero Piccioni plays on the old record player, crackling away as you laugh and talk and tell stories with your friends well into the night. You watch the sun set through floor-to-ceiling glass windows and you wish wish wish that you had your paints right now.
You brought along a set of oil pastels and one of your art notebooks, but it doesn’t compare at all to painting. If you could get your hands on cadmium yellow in all it’s hues, maybe vermillion and a powder blue, your lack of paintbrush or canvas wouldn’t even matter. You’d use your fingers if you needed to. It bothers you so much that you get up in the middle of clearing away the meal and go to your room for the pastels and notebook. You need to get it on a page at least.
You push a few plates to the side, folding out your notebook and immediately marking the page up with a creamy white pastel. Bea teases you when she comes over to take the rest of the dirty dishes, but you just mumble something unintelligible, too engrossed with smudging the sunset into something that looks like what you’d seen out the window. When the oranges and yellows blend to your satisfaction you take the black and brown and draw in the top of your friends’ heads, not thinking about how much attention to detail you’re paying to the shape of Charles’ side profile.
When you’re finished, you’re surprised to see that the table is cleared save for a few half-full wine glasses and a fresh bottle. Only Chloe, Rowan and Charles are still sitting by you. You’re listening to another Piero Piccioni album now, or maybe just the other side of the record. You remember saying goodnight to the others and saying yes to a glass of wine, so you’ve not been totally dead to the world, but it’s all in a bit of a haze.
You think this might be part of the reason why you can’t hold down a boyfriend. The disappearing into your art like you cant breathe until it’s finished. That may as well be the case if you’re honest.
You sigh, wiping your stained fingers on the next blank page, then you take a long sip from your glass of merlot, pretending you dont notice the others’ eyes on you.
“All done?” Chloe quips, somewhere on the border of teasing and being annoyed at you.
You look at her, your eyes just narrowing enough for her to notice. She does and purses her lips. You raise an eyebrow to ask okay, what’s your fucking problem? And you see her eyes flash to Charles. You follow her gaze to see him and Rowan pretending to look disinterested in your answer. Charles is tracing the base of his wine glass and absently biting the inside of his mouth. You have to tear your eyes away.
“All done,” you answer, tone clipped, before gathering your things (including the wine glass) and leaving the room in a move you hope doesn’t come off as too rude.
At your back you hear Rowan ask Chloe, “What was that?”
Chloe means well, you think as you wind through the villa, making your way to the balcony overlooking the private beach. She wants you to be happy and she thinks you need a boyfriend to be happy. But she’d found the love of her life in Rowan after only a few years of dating around and she doesn’t quite understand that it’s never going to work like that for you. There aren’t enough people out there that understand the kind of passion you have for your art and certainly not many that would also be compatible with you. You’re fine with that, but Chloe doesn’t know what to do with it. Especially not now she’s cottoned onto the fact that you have some kind of interest in Charles. It’s killing her.
It’s irrelevant though, whatever interest you have in Charles doesn’t factor into anything. He’s cute, he’s nice, but so were the dozen boys that you’ve already dated and not continued dating. So really, Chloe needs to stop pushing it because it’s pissing you off. You’re here for a holiday, not to be forced into conversations with a guy you don’t know. If she needs to have an argument to finally understand that, then so be it. You’ve been friends for years, it’ll blow over eventually.
You flick a switch and blinking lights illuminate the balcony. Fairy lights are wound up the posts and draped on the awning, intertwining with the lush green vines that have grown up through the wood slats. The air is balmy and the breeze light as you settle into one of two cushioned chairs situated by a coffee table. It’s perfect. You spread the oil pastels out next to your glass of wine and set your open notebook on your crossed legs, listening to the sound of waves lapping against the shore.
You’re alone for what feels like a long time but is probably only an hour or two.
When the sliding door clunks open you expect it to be Chloe coming over to have it out, but it’s not. Instead, Charles slips through the gap with the rest of the wine gripped in one hand.
“Hi,” he greets, smiling at you in a way that makes dimples carve in his cheeks, and dashing any hopes you have that he’d walk right past you.
“Hey,” you forget yourself for a moment and bite your lip on a broad smile.
He holds the bottle out toward you, offering more. You lean over your notebook and hold your empy wine glass up in acceptance.
“Merci,” you say, and in a moment of weakness (and probable wine drunk-ness) you gesture at the plush chair across from you.
Charles, somewhat caught off guard, looks between your outstretched hand, the chair, and your face, before shaking his head almost imperceptibly and finally taking a seat. Despite his apparent shock, you find it hard to believe he’d come out here simply to offer you some of the last of the wine. Surely, this is Chloe and Rowan’s doing. Though, strangely, you cant quite bring yourself to care.
He sets the bottle on the coffee table, next to your oil pastels. You lean forward to place a few back in their rightful spots, snagging your wine glass as you go.
Charles eyes’ scan your face for a moment, searching for something you suppose, then he points at your notebook, “Have you been drawing?”
You nod, “Mmm.”
You think perhaps the answer is a bit obvious. He seems to realise this, you watch a blush spread onto the top of his cheeks and he flutters his eyelids slightly, almost like rolling his eyes at himself. You don’t think about his eyelashes, thick and dark as they brush against his cheekbone, and you don’t think about his eyes, the lights reflecting off them, making them sparkle.
“What are you drawing then?” he asks after a moment of collecting himself, an edge of embarrassment to his voice.
You give in easily to the strange urge you have to show him, grabbing the notebook off your lap and holding it out for him to see what you’d been scribbling in the book for the past two hours. You let him take it off your hands, ignoring the spike of anxiety. He holds it gingerly, like it's a precious artefact (of course, to you, it is), which makes something warm bloom in your chest. You take a sip of wine and gesture for him to flip through a few pages, which he seems hesitant to do without permission. The book is angled in such a way that you can see most of the page, so you’re content to let him. Or at least you are until he flips to the page you’d started when you’d first come out here.
Panic drops like a stone in your gut because he’s looking right at a fully rendered drawing of his eyes. It’s in amongst some pillars strung with lights and covered in climbing vines; your best attempt at capturing the way the beach looked earlier in the day; and, perhaps your saving grace, Chloe half asleep on her towel. But the drawing of her is haphazard, it’s half-scribbled and half-finished, whereas the one of Charles eyes’ is as detailed as the sunset scene you’d done the page before. It had been something you just needed to get out, drawn in one of those hazes of yours. You’d felt better after it was done, your hands had stopped feeling like they were itchy.
Now, you itch to snatch the notebook off him, but you fear that would be even more incriminating. So you watch him look at the page and try to sit with the panicked feeling spreading in your chest.
Eventually, he points at the page, “Is this me?”
You bite your lip, breathing slowly through your nose to try and abate the blush spreading up your neck. You don’t say anything exactly, just shrug and rock your head back and forth in a kind of confirmation that doesn’t really admit anything. Though, there’s no denying the drawing is him.
“It’s good,” he says, seemingly stumbling over the words, “It’s very good.”
You frown into your drink, “Thank you.”
“I mean it.”
You know he means it. It’s not that.
“Yes,” you put down the wine glass, looking at him but avoiding eye contact, “I know. I know it’s good. I’m just… I’m embarrassed,” you admit.
He furrows his eyebrows– or it’s more that he squints and his eyebrows fold in with it. You watch his tongue dart out to run across the top of his bottom lip and you stamp down the less than innocent thoughts that come bubbling up at that. He waves the hand that’s not still holding carefully onto your notebook about for a moment, trying to conjure up words that he doesn’t have yet.
Slowly, he says, “You shouldn’t be embarrassed. I– It’s–”
He’s about to say flattering, so you cut him off, not wanting to hear the tone of it, whether it be pity or something else entirely.
You try to explain yourself, “Things get stuck in my head sometimes. Like after dinner,” you reach forward and flip the page back one, to the sunset, “I have to get it onto paper. Or… or… it just runs laps in my head for the rest of eternity, I guess. I don’t stop thinking about it.”
You cringe internally. You’ve just told him that you were so consumed by thoughts of his eyes that you had to draw them immediately. That is perhaps worse than just wanting to draw him because you thought he was cute. Charles raises his eyebrows, clearly surprised by your admission, but there’s perhaps also something sincere in there? You can’t pinpoint it, but it makes you feel a fraction better you think.
You sigh forlornly, “That’s weirder, huh?”
He laughs, properly laughs, and it sends some strange feeling skittering down your spine, “No. No, I get it. I don’t have any way to get it down as quickly as I’d like, but I definitely understand the feeling.”
You bite the inside of your lip, hesitant but still curious, “You understand the feeling? Really?”
“Yes,” he smiles easily now, relaxing more in the chair after he places your notebook onto the counter with a cautiousness you still don’t expect, “For me, with racing, it’s like I get an idea and I can’t sleep until I try it on track or talk about it with someone. Some of them don’t work, or aren’t possible, which is fine, but if it sounds right to me and it checks out with the people that it needs to, then, well, then it literally does run laps in my head.”
You laugh, mostly to yourself. You’re not sure yet if he understands what you’re saying, but he’s trying. That’s more than you can say for a lot of people. You try not to let that thought linger for too long.
“You think it’s similar?” you ask in a way you desperately hope comes across as curious and not accusatory.
He hums, waving his hand around again for words, “Perhaps. I think the urgency is the same. The passion is the same. Do you ever feel like something terrible will happen if you can’t–”
“Yes,” you’re a bit breathless in your haste to agree, to talk about this feeling with someone who understands, “Yes. I do. It’s like I need to put it somewhere before I lose it. Otherwise, it won’t be perfect, or it’ll be too late.”
“Exactly,” his eyes seem to light up, for a long second you watch the flickering lights reflect in them, “Exactly.”
“It’s never as good as I want it to be,” you admit, finding it easier to look him in the eye now that some strange barrier between you has been broken, “It’s never quite how I imagine it in my head.”
Charles points at your notebook, “These are very good, really. I don’t see how they could be better. But,” he shrugs, “Eh, I will win a race and still think of everything I did wrong.”
You nod eagerly in understanding as you lean back into the chair, finally relaxing into the cushions. It’s strange to have this conversation, knowing you’re talking about two entirely different careers, but feeling like they’re so similar. Maybe it’s just you and Charles that are similar, maybe your jobs have nothing to do with it? You don’t know, you just know it’s nice to feel like someone gets what you’re talking about.
Charles continues, speaking like he’ll explode if he doesn’t get this off his chest, “It’s there all the time, do you know what I mean? Maybe I’m not thinking about it every second, but it’s always there waiting for something to draw attention to it. And people ask what else is going on in my life, and of course I do other things, and I enjoy other things, but I want to be on the track. I want to be driving whenever I can.”
You nod again, more subdued now, “Mmm, right. I want to be making art all the time, and when I can’t it’s like missing a limb. To me art is– it– it’s like–”
“–breathing,” he finishes, almost the lilt of a question to it, but not really, it’s like he knows exactly what you mean… how you feel.
You exhale, long and slow, “Yeah. Like breathing.”
Both of you are quiet for a little after that. You’re trying not to stare at him, but it’s not easy. He’s looking at you almost blatantly and you can feel blood rushing to your cheeks the longer he stares. The air feels thick with some feeling you can’t place. All you know is there are butterflies in your stomach and a smile keeps pulling at the edge of your pursed lips.
The smile takes over as you catch him starry-eyed in your peripheral vision, you mutter, “Stop that. Stop looking at me.”
“Why?”
You tip your head back so you can’t see him looking at you, “Because.”
“Because?” he laughs breathily, shaking his head at you, “Okay, well, tell me if I’m misreading anything, but I’m pretty sure that drawing of me in your notebook says something, at least.”
You run a hand down your face, sighing loudly, “Yes, okay. I suppose it does. But– I–” for a moment you struggle for the right words to explain yourself, “I guess I’m not really looking to date anyone.”
He tilts his head to the side, furrowing his eyebrows and looking for all intents and purposes, like a confused puppy, “You guess?”
You nod, resisting the urge to just launch over the table and grab his face. He is very cute and he is making this so hard for you.
He sucks his teeth briefly, shrugging, “I’m not really either.”
“Alright,” you say, “Good.”
As over as that should make the issue, strangely enough it doesn’t feel like you’re done with Charles Leclerc and it certainly doesn’t feel like he’s done with you either.
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Amalfi Coast, Italy
You try to avoid Charles after that, you really do, but he doesn’t quite let you.
For a few days of the holiday you give him pointed looks and purse your lips a lot when he’s around. Chloe catches on straight away and that makes it all infinitely worse until she finally realises she might need to leave you alone (yeah, shocker). When Chloe finally forces everyone to get off your back about Charles, it becomes much easier to be around him. You’re not glaring at your friends while they make eyes at you, or worrying if you’re acting weird; you’re just allowed to be.
It’s nice. He’s nice.
But you knew that already.
Neither of you are looking for a relationship so there’s no pressure for it to be anything at all. But you have this sneaking suspicion that perhaps both of you are looking for a relationship with eachother regardless. You try to ignore the thought.
On day five, you’re sitting together on an outcropping of rock that overlooks the ocean and you’re letting Charles doodle in your notebook with a ballpoint pen. The bare skin of both your arms are pressed together, they stick with sweat from the hot midday sun but neither of you seem to care. As you watch him doodle inexpertly you can smell him— salt and sweat and whatever cologne he uses masking the very faint scent of burning rubber. Your hair, still damp, brushes his forearm, you wonder if you smell of acrylic paint and mildew from all the water cups you accidentally leave out for your paintbrushes.
You reach out to trace a line he’d made, “Here, it should be more like…” you taper off, taking the pen from his hand and quickly fixing the curve of the beach before handing the utensil back.
“Hmm,” he hums, giggling a little, “I guess that looks better.”
“You guess?”
He nods, “What if I had a very specific vision?”
You raise an eyebrow in disbelief, leaning back to look him in the eye you tease, “A vision. Did you?”
He tilts his head down to look at you. You’re very close now, you can feel his breath fanning over your face. In the reflection of his sunglasses you watch your lips part slightly and your eyelids flutter. Your chest grows tight with anticipation and maybe a little bit of panic. Still, you reach out and slide his sunglasses up to settle in his hair. You’re a little careless, but you like the way his hair pokes out from them at odd angles. As he breathes out you hear it catch for a split second.
“Did you?” you repeat, knowing he won’t remember what you were talking about.
He blinks twice, still staring at you, “Hmm?”
“You said you had a vision,” you breathe.
“Oh,” as he says it, his eyes flicker down to your mouth, only for a second, but it’s long enough to you know you’re done for.
You both lean in at the same time, your noses sliding off each other in your eagerness. You breathe a kind of laugh into his mouth and you feel him try to suppress a smile against your lips. It’s slow for the first few seconds, just you and Charles figuring out how your mouths fit together. His mouth is warm and wet and so soft, and it’s easy to lose yourself in it. You move the hand that had adjusted his sunglasses, sliding it up his shoulder to the back of his muscled neck. Your fingers weave into the short hair at the base of it, your nails scratching absently there. He groans, ever so slightly into your mouth and it sends heat skittering down your spine, into the low of your gut.
The hand of his that isn’t clutching onto your notebook slips forward and winds around to press at your bare back. He pulls you closer to him as you slide your hand up to cup the back of his head, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Soon it’s a mess of tongue and teeth and Charles blindly shoving your notebook somewhere it wont slip into the water so he can grab you with both hands. He tastes like red wine and coffee and you love the way his fingers dig into your skin and the way his teeth have been grazing at your bottom lip, like he wants to sink into it.
You’re almost in his lap when you’re forced to pull away for air.
Foreheads pressed together, you breathe heavily into the space between you. Your hand is still stuck in his hair and one of his on the small of your back, the other holding your knee. The sides of your noses touch, you nudge yours against his affectionately, tempted by the proximity of his mouth.
He laughs and you feel it against your lips, intermingling with your own breath, “Alright. That was–”
“Yeah,” you finish, dipping forward to kiss him again.
You’re lost for another few minutes. Tongue and teeth and the sound of the waves crashing against the rock behind you. And his hand on your jaw and in your hair and pulling you closer closer to him.
He pulls away this time, turning his head to press your cheeks together, mouth at your ear, “So,” he drags the word out with a laugh, “are you looking for a relationship now?”
You snort unceremoniously, and tease, “Hmm. I guess I would be amenable to that.”
“You guess?” he asks— but not really needing to at all because you can feel his dimples pressing into your cheek as he smiles knowingly.
You nod, smiling too, “I guess.”
🎨 yes of course i made a playlist>> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6cAJaZjvK0V7SrmxoMosBX?si=ADlJGHxxQYKnlZ1jWFJxfw&pi=a-AI0MKbo3RTqE
taglist: (pls message if you'd like to be added to the taglist for charles. my yuck! one is full so need to start a new one😭)
#charles leclerc#f1#formula 1#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc social media au#charles leclerc smau#f1 x reader#f1 social media au#f1 smau#f1 fanfic#charles leclerc x artist!reader#⭐️requests#⭐️asks
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true love's kiss
pairing: azriel x reader
summary: when azriel is hit with a powerful poison what - or who - will be able to save him?
warnings: talks of death, angst
words: 2.8k (buckle up)
a/n: my first azriel story and I'm so excited!! this idea just popped in my head the other day, and I ran with it lol. it was so much fun to write, so I hope you have just as much fun reading it!
(p.s. requests are open if you'd like to send anything in!)
oOoOo
Without warning, your heart began to pump furiously and an uneasy feeling settled over your body. Your muscles tensed up, as if preparing for an attack, and only moments later, you noticed Feyre's glazed over eyes widened in fear. Lunch suddenly postponed, she shot to her feet and ran towards the living room while you, Mor, and Amren quickly trailed behind.
Before you even stepped foot in the room, your suspicions were confirmed as the scent of blood and fear smacked you in the face. There was a brief space of time in which you mourned for the anguish Feyre would feel over an injured Rhys. However, the image of Rhys and Cass heaving an unconscious Azriel onto the couch suddenly seared itself into your mind.
"What happened?" you whispered the words over the commotion, though it rang out loud and clear to the Inner Circle despite its wobble.
"We were ambushed in Windhaven." Cass explained while Rhys reached into the void to call for Madja. "Az's side was struck with a sword, but it must have been laced with poison. One second he was standing behind me, and the next thing I knew, he let out a shout before collapsing almost immediately."
Tears lined your eyes at the thought, and the pain didn't register when you dropped to the ground beside Azirel, hands hovering over his body. The dark swirl of shadows that nearly obscured him from view parted for you, allowing you access to their master.
"Oh, Azriel." you breathed out, only distinguishable to you and his shadows. The later wisping gently around your face, brushing a stray tear from your cheek. You leaned into the gesture, wishing it was Azriel's palm against your skin.
Suddenly, you felt strong arms pull your shoulders away from Azriel as Madja stepped in and took your place, her gaze instantly drawn to his wound. Meanwhile, your family stepped back in fear. Rhys held Feyre tight in his grasp, and Cassian offered you and Mor each a comforting hand.
The only sounds for the next few minutes were Madja's grunts and huffs as she did her best to treat the injury. You couldn't help but cringe into Cass' side as her hands turned a dark-red, tinted from the blood that should have long ago clotted. It felt like an eternity before the healer turned around to face all of you, her face worn.
"I've done what I can to stabilize him, but the sword that struck our Shadowsinger was indeed laced with a poison I have yet to see. Unfortunately, it still seems to be working his way through his system. I can't say for certain how much time he has, but I will work swiftly to find an answer." she explained solemnly, taking in the pained expressions of you and your friends. "All I do know is whatever the cure ends up being, it needs to be a strong source of magic. I'm sorry I can't offer better news."
Rhys was the first to break through the stunned silence. "Thank you, Madja. C-can we move him somewhere more comfortable?"
The healer nodded before taking her leave. In her stead, all of you gaped in shock before Rhys and Cass worked together to move Azriel to a bed where they thought he would be more comfortable. Once they got him settled, you pulled a chair up, next to his bed, a stack of thick, dusty books beside you. If there was nothing you could do at the moment, by the cauldron you would at least help Madja research a cure.
When your focus couldn't get past the first few sentences on a page, you shut the book with a sigh and furiously wiped at your eyes. The tears wouldn't stop, no matter what you did. Carefully, you reached out and interlaced your hand with one of Azriel's, placing a soft kiss against the marred skin.
"Please, please wake up, Azriel." you whispered into the room. "I don't know what we'd do - what I'd do - without you." you told him, praying to the Mother and anyone else listening to heal your best friend.
As day bled into night, Rhys and Cass came into the room, trying to relieve you even just for an hour. They tempted you with food, rest, or even just a moment alone, but you refused. How could you leave Azriel alone in his moment of need? Eventually they got the hint, and slowly, the rest of your family began to take up residence in the room alongside you.
oOoOo
"How can there be nothing on this subject?" you shouted, tossing the book to the floor with a loud thump.
The rest of the Night Court looked up at your outburst, their own eyes red and bleary from the hours and hours of research. It had been three days since Madja first examined Azriel, and even the experienced healer was coming up empty. With every hour that passed, you felt the hope in your soul drain even further.
"There has to be an answer somewhere." Cass placated, stretching out his wings from where he sat. "Someone has to have used this poison before."
"That doesn't mean they had to write the antidote down, boy." Amren spoke cooly from her spot, ignoring your pointed glare.
"What is it, Feyre?" Rhys asked, taking note of her trance like state. She shook her head slightly at her mate before turning her attention to the rest of the group.
"Well...I was just thinking. Madja said whatever the cure ends up being will have to be powerful, but maybe we've been thinking about this too literally. Maybe it's not an answer that can be found in a book. What has been a powerful motivator for all of us over the years? Was even the answer to end Amarantha's reign?" she asked, the group shuddered at the mention of the name of that devil. "Love."
You stared at your High Lady, head titled to the side. "Okay, but how is that going to help us now? It's not like any of us don't love Azriel."
"And it's not exactly a position we can give him." Mor chimed in.
Feyre reached out a tattooed hand and grasped Rhys' hand. "Or maybe it is." she countered. "I don't know about here in the Night Court, but haven't you ever heard fairytales? True love conquering all with a kiss, and all that?"
"Do you think it would really work?" you ask, your tone warm and face full of light for the first time in days.
All eyes fell to Rhys and Ameren for guidance. The two shared a look, silently communicating their opinions on the matter, but it was Rhys who spoke first. "I've never heard of an instance of true love's kiss being the answer, but since when have we been known to do anything traditionally?" he said with a small grin, inspiring a soft chuckle in the room.
"Well," Cass dragged out. "I would try, but I don't think Az would appreciate me waking him up with a kiss."
You rolled your eyes at the general, before considering the impact of his words. "Doesn't that leave us with a problem? Azriel hasn't found his mate, so we're still stuck and unable to break though." A small pang shot through you at the idea of Azriel's mated to an unknown female, but you quickly tamped that down. This was a matter of life or death.
All eyes of the Inner Circle turned to face you. Looks of disbelief, amusement, and even understanding from Rhys, came your way. You caved in on yourself, suddenly feeling your cheeks heat under the scrutiny. This was not the time for their games.
"What?"
Mor spoke your name, gently, as her hand reached out to grasp yours. "Do we really need to spell it out?" she asked in your silence.
"Spell what out?"
Amren, having had enough of the tiptoeing, finally spat it out. "That you're in love with the Shadowsinger, and have been for decades. If anyone in this room has the power to break this curse, it's you."
A laugh bubbled up and out of your throat at her words, born out of sheer nerves that shot through your body. "N-no, no. I am not in love with Azriel. I mean, yes, I care for him - of course I do! I love him the way I love all of you. I'd do anything to help, but I really don't think this is going to work." you stuttered and stumbled over your words, bashful from the accusation.
"We've all seen the way you look at each other, y/n." Feyre spoke gently, her eyes soft and she stared at you. "I think you love Azriel a bit differently than the rest of us."
Her words brought tears to your eyes. Yes, you were in love with your best friend - how cliche. It had been that way for decades, but you never had the courage to speak up and say anything to him. And now, all these feelings were being dredged up in such a tense situation. What if it wasn't enough? What if you weren't enough to save him?
"Okay, fine, you've caught me." you conceded, throwing your hands up in the air as your voice grew thick and heavy once more. "Is that what you want me to say? That I've been in love with Azriel for years, and it's killed me to just stay by his side as just a friend?" a defensive anger rose in your body as you looked at each member of your family. "But you're forgetting an important piece to this puzzle. Just because I'm in love with Azriel, doesn't mean I'm his true love."
With that, you ran out of the room, collapsing against the wall in the hallway. You tried to take deep, steady breaths to calm your breathing, but it did little to help the situation. A few minutes later, you heard soft footsteps come up to your side, and Mor pulled you into a giant hug. The two of you stayed in silence for a few moments, grateful for the anchor she acted as in the moment.
"I know that was a lot to throw on you, and for you to have to admit to us." she spoke, softly and cautiously. "And nobody judges you for how you feel or how you're reacting."
"I'm so scared." you confessed. "W-what if I try and it doesn't work?"
Mor looks at you with a gentle smile. "What if you try and it does work?" she countered. "I think you underestimate the extent of Azriel's feelings for you. And, if, Mother forbid, it doesn't work, then we'll figure something else out."
Her words gave you a sense of comfort and the courage to wipe your tears and walk back towards Az's room. Before you stepped back in, you gave Mor's hand a grateful squeeze then rolled your shoulders back.
All talking ceased as you walked back in, and you knew your family had to have been discussing what to do if you didn't agree with their plan. But this was Azriel's life on the line, and you would do anything to protect it. Even if that meant having your feelings revealed, or rejected.
"Okay, let's try this." you told the Inner Circle, calmly and with conviction you tried to convince yourself you had. "But, all of you are waiting outside."
There were no laughs or jokes at your expense, which surprised you, especially coming from Cassian. Instead, they all nodded their heads and solemnly and filed outside to wait. On his way out, Cassian squeezed your shoulder and nodded.
"Bring him back to us." he whispered, board line pleading with you to save his brother's life.
When it was just you and Azriel alone in the room, you took a deep breath and crossed the space until you knelt before his bed. You took the moment to study his features. His hazel eyes, normally full of life and mischief, now were shut off from you. His skin looked more swallow and the rise and fall of his chest seemed to slow with each breath that passed. Even the presence of his shadows seemed dimmer as Azriel's life slowly drained before your eyes.
With a shaky hand, you reached out to brush away soft tendrils of hair that had fallen into Azriel's face. "Can you hear me, Az?"
The air was heavy as you waited a response that never came.
"We all miss you so much. I miss you - my best friend. I-I know it's not fair of me to ask, but just keep holding on, keep fighting. Please." you whispered, leaning down to rest your forehead against his body, gathering your courage. "Look, Feyre has this crazy theory about what could save you. It's uh, true love's kiss."
Again, no response.
"This was not the way I expected to tell you, not that I thought I'd tell you if I'm being honest. But even though I don't want to jeopardize our friendship, I'd rather have you alive and never speak to me again than gone forever. So, here it goes." you took a deep breath. "I love you Azriel, I think I always have. You are so good and kind, and the kind of male I've dreamed about for years. I-it's okay if you don't feel the same," you forced yourself to say. "but I thought you should know given our situation."
Not sure what else to say, you took one more look at the male in front of you, placed a gentle kiss against his cheek, and then dipped your head down to meet his lips. They were chapped against your own after a few days without enough water. Az's normal smell of cedar and mist was faint, but still there, and comforted you as it surrounded your senses.
You poured as much love and hope into the kiss as possible before slowly pulling away, falling to sit on your legs. The next few seconds that passed seemed to stretch for hours, waiting for a sign, a movement, anything. Just as you were about to sag and give up hope, a loud gasp sounded next to you and Azriel's frame jolted up.
"Azriel!" you shouted, watching as the color returned to his face and his eyes darted around the room.
Those hazel eyes finally landed on your frame, and Azriel quirked a small, albeit, sleepy smile at you. "y/n." he whispered, holding out a hand.
Wasting no time, you grasped onto the anchor for dear life, and the tears immediately began to pour down your face. "I can't believe you're awake. Oh, I was so scared for you Azriel. How are you feeling? Are you in pain? We have to get Madja and the other's here. I'll go-" you rambled, before being cutting off my Azriel.
"Hey, hey, calm down." he soothed, pulling you up onto the bed, flush against him. "I feel fine, considering I was just on the brink of death." he chuckled.
"Don't make jokes like that." you swatted at his chest. "We almost lost you."
"Yeah, but you saved me." he said, looking down at you in awe.
Suddenly bashful again, you began to stutter. "Oh, no, I didn't do much. It was all Feyre's idea, and we all were here helping to research."
"But Rhys and Cass weren't the one's to bring me back with a kiss." he said, and you felt as though your entire body was on fire at Azriel's words.
"Y-you heard all that?"
"I did." he nodded, nuzzling his nose against your neck. "And, I can't believe it took us until now to say anything, but I love you, y/n." he admitted, turning your face so you stared into his eyes.
As the words left Azriel's lips, both of your gasped. This time, however, it wasn't because of a sleeping curse, but because of the taught, golden thread you felt connecting your soul to Azriel's. Your mind swirled with a thousand thoughts, but the loudest one was "mate, mate, mate."
You stared at the male before you in awe, and Azriel grinned. "My mate. My knight in shining armor." he teased, then leaned down to capture your lips once more.
This time, the kiss sent butterflies to your stomach and you revealed in the feeling of Azriel's strong arms around your body. His kiss was long and unhurried, as though you had all the time in the world to explore. And as you kissed him back, you found yourself giddy at the thought of the rest of your immortal life with Azriel.
It was only when the doors had been thrown open and the rest of your family came stumbling in did you and Azriel pull apart. The two of you looked at each other, then busted out laughing at the shocked faces of your family.
"It worked!"
"You're awake."
"The two of you are mates?!"
Their voices all overlapped, and you felt Az sigh against you, hugging you close. Yes, your family was a lot, but they meant well. And now, you could live happily ever after.
oOoOo
a/n: ahh, I'm pretty impressed by how quickly this went from an idea to a story! kinda feel like I rushed the end, but oh well! hope you enjoyed!
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Imagine papa Simon x reader where, starting over after being accustomed to teens is a struggle for reader cause it all feels new again while Simon is completely ready again. His obsession with being around reader (needing to touch and all of that couply stuff but he’s also willing to do anything for her) is high and it’s annoying her to the core.
Ps. Thanks for writing my pregnancy scare idea! I was nervous lol
Don't be nervoussssssss, I dont bite. 😏
Simon creeped up behind you while you were washing your face, rubbing your stomach, making you move his hand, his other hand going to your butt, rubbing it while you're bent over the counter with soap all over your face, "Simon." you say sternly, "What?" he mumbles, admiring your new, fuller shape. "Get off." You say, shuffling away from him. He backs off, going to his side of the bathroom, grabbing his tooth brush, still watching you rinse the soap off.
Once you're done, you pat your face dry with a towel, Simon smirks at you while you apply your face creams, "Stop," You flick him, he smiles before spitting the toothpaste out.
When you slide into bed, Simon's hot on your trails, following you into bed, stripping himself of his clothes, getting ready to pull your legs but the baby lets out a bloodcurdling scream making Simon sigh, You get up, going for your baby, soothing her cries while Simon watches you from the door frame in nothing but his pajama pants.
"What, Simon?" you say defeated, exhausted from getting up every 2-3 hours, feeding, or sometimes just having to be up because she doesn't want dad, She wants mom. "I'm just looking." He shrugs, "Just looking is why she's here in the first place." you mumble.
"Mom," Nova barges in, "Put a shirt on." She grimaces at her dad, "Ada wants to know if I can have a sleep over next weekend and if I can get dropped off, is that okay?"
You sigh at your oldest, "Which one's Ada?" You look at Simon, "The one with the boyfriend." Simon cocks a brow at Nova, She rolls her eyes making him snap his fingers at her. "I don't care." You wave her off, The next kid comes in, "Dad, when are you going to clean the pool?" Oliver complains, pushing between his dad and sister to sit on the arm of the rocking chair, to caress his baby sisters cheek. "When I clean the pool." Simon says making Nova snort.
Jude coming in the room after his brother, sitting on the floor in front of you, "Is she asleep?" He asks, "She's trying." You look at her, and then look at Simon, "Everyone out so the baby can sleep." He claps, making you let out a grunt. "Sorry, Sorry, Sorry." He rushed out along with the children.
Once you got her down, you laid face flat on the bed, sighing from exhaustion. You hear the door close softly, and then feel the bed dip next to you. Simon rubbed your back, "Simon I need you to stop touching me." Your voice muffled by the mattress.
He lets out a laugh, respecting your wishes and backing off. You look up from the mattress to see Simon laying on his side with his arm holding up his head. "You're a beautiful woman." He smiles, showing off his deep laugh lines, "You just want to sleep with me." You say, putting your face back down. "Not only that, But you are beautiful. You made out children beautiful." He goes to rub your back again out of habit but stops mid hand raise.
You smack his stomach softly, "You're a loser." You chuckle into the mattress, "A loser who got you pregnant three times." He leans in kissing the exposed part of your face. "And somehow gave me four times the headache."
#lunden’s response ❀—#papa!simon#ghost simon riley#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost cod#simon riley x you#ghost x you#cod mw2#ghost x reader#ghost x y/n
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Mind if I could have a SAGAU request? So the player is burnt out from the game. Like completely. Some characters find a way to your desktop and ask "Why haven't you entered Teyvat lately?" After explaining that you still like/love them, they are disappointed but understandable. Problem is, they can't go back until you launch the game. So the characters sort of become desktop buddies (Showing my age aren't I?) and perhaps helping you out in the various other games the player would play or just vibing as you surf the web, make arr, write stories, etc. As for the characters... Aether and Paimon at least, though adding Kazuha, Yanfei, Freminet, Bennett, Fischl, Childe, and Collei would be cute too.
Genshin Impact
Desktop Buddies
Summary: In which your favourite Genshin characters miss you.
Or now you have them as your desktop buddies until Genshin Impact is fixed.
Pairings: Aether & Paimon, Kazuha, Yanfei, Childe and Fischl x Neutral! Reader!
Note: Desktop buddies are ancient now lol, but honestly such a cool thing to have back then. Hope you enjoy!
Warning: None, just fluffy goodness.
★・・・・・・★
You’re tired. Like really tired.
Grinding for artifacts, ascension and weapon materials has worn you out. That includes your wallet too.
They were worth it, no doubt about that, but staring at a screen all day every day could tire anyone out.
And yea, you need sleep.
For the first time in a long time, you decided to shut down the game, and take at least a few day break.
It’s not like it would make a big difference right?
Little did you know, it most definitely would.
Just a few days later, not only did your laptop started acting weird to the point where you thought of buying a new one, Genshin also disappeared from your desktop.
Before you knew it, you see little figures that look oddly familiar on your screen…
“Why haven’t you entered Teyvat lately?”
Aether & Paimon
The player spun around, eyes widening at the sight of Aether and Paimon now out of the game, and...hopping around on your screen.
"Aether? Paimon? How... how are you here?".
Aether stepped forward.
"Our Creator, we've missed you. The others are worried. Why haven't you been to Teyvat?"
You sighed, has it already been a couple of days? Also, since when were you their creator?
"I'm just a little tired-” There was a dramatic gasp from Paimon.
“Tired of us? Aether! Our Creator is tired of us!”
“No! I mean, I still love Teyvat and all of you, but I needed a break and I will go back soon." You quickly responded with reassurance, which luckily appeased the floating companion.
Paimon floated closer, which was like a weird zoom on her face, her eyes softening with understanding.
"We get it, but... we can't go back to Teyvat until you' launch' the game." She says robotically, but appeared confused right after.
“Ah, okay. Give me a minute.”
When you tried to download the game via the Genshin website, it stated that there was a website maintenance.
“Creator! What is happening? The world is changing!” While you were frustrated, Aether and Paimon were jumping and flying everywhere around your screen, exploring how tabs open and following your mouse as you click and hover.
Their curiosity made you smile, and you slowly explain how everything works slowly as with each passing second, they marvel at how advanced your world is.
“No wonder you’re our Creator!”
“What’s this!?” Before you knew it, you pulled up multiple websites, and the one you landed on was Disney+.
“Do you want to watch a movie?”
“What’s that?” Aether asked, curious, followed by Paimon’s cute little head tilt.
(You wished you could just squeeze those cute little cheeks-)
“It’s like telling a story, but you get to see it unfold right before you. Here.” You pull up ‘My Little Mermaid’ and they jump seeing the video move, with everyone inside move.
“Woah…it’s like another world!”
Aether seemed to marvel over it, and for a moment, he wondered, maybe, you could traverse worlds too.
Seeing the stars in their eyes made you feel guilty, as if another misunderstanding arose, but you let them be, as their cute little figures sat down and watched the movie.
You too, watched it with them, and for the first time in a while, you didn’t feel lonely.
Throughout the movie, you patted them on the head with your mouse, which the two seemed to like very much.
(And yes, you did pinch those cute little cheeks)
Kazuha
“I’m glad that you didn’t abandon us, Your Highness.”
Never in your wildest dreams did you expect to see THE Canadian Aether, Kazuha, on your screen, bowing respectfully to you.
“Let me know if I can help you in any way. Although my form is…not in the most helpful form, I will do my best.”
You held back a giggle when you saw a shy little Kazuha looking at himself and then at you shyly, and you really wanted to tease him, but you chose not to.
Instead, you pull up your incomplete art project.
Might as well since you can’t download Genshin now and might have to wait for a few days.
“Actually Kazuha, I was hoping you could help me finish my art.” He immediately perked up, a serious expression overtook his shy one.
“Of course, Your Highness, let me know what you want to draw and I can help you!”
“Great! I’m trying to draw a handsome and cute man, he has platinum blond hair…” Slowly, you list one by one, the characteristics of the person you want to draw.
Kazuha learns fast. Soon, he was able to figure out how your art platform worked.
At first, he hesitated, and didn’t want to interrupt your drawing, but slowly, he learned to add in his thoughts and feedback, and guided your mouse to smooth out the lines, and perfect the colouring.
“He has red eyes…”
Calming and soothing, his voice made you feel at peace, just like how you would hang out with him at the top of a mountain somewhere and listening to the game music.
But this time, he was a little closer, where he felt more real albeit still in your screen.
“Your Highness…isn’t this…me?” His little cheeks was dusted with pink as he quickly covered it with his hands.
“It is you.”
“But why…”
“Because you’re one of my favourites, Kazuha.”
It was all it took for him to become shy again, and he began to cough awkwardly as if to mask his embarrassment.
“Thank you…Your Highness.”
Yanfei
“Phew! We were so scared that you left us Your Eminence! But…I suppose we can’t do anything until you open up Teyvat again, until then, let me know if I can help you!”
Yanfei's cheerful voice made you smile as you leaned against your palm.
Then she turned around, as if taking in her surroundings before looking back at you.
“Your Eminence, if I may, may I help you organize your…space?” You blink, and that was when you notice the amount of files littered across the desktop screen, and you realized that from Yanfei’s view, it must’ve been very unorganized.
“Sure.”
Yanfei brightens at your acceptance, and hopped a little to show her excitement.
“Okay! I’m good at this, so leave it to me! Just follow my lead.”
You were gonna clean up your PC eventually, though you did not expect it would be today.
Either way, Yanfei was like a referee and a police, asking questions but also making sure everything was organized correctly.
In a way, Yanfei felt like a Mom asking her child to clean her room.
Even so, it was so cute to see her marching everywhere like a soldier and asking you to organize it in a neat manner.
“Okay, next, let’s organize this folder!”
“Okay-” Before you knew it, you immediately hit backspace.
“Your Eminence…who was that-”
“Let’s move on.” But Yanfei stared at that folder with an intense stare. Did she see it?
With a little nudge and push with your mouse, Yanfei eventually moved on, but she constantly had a smile on her lips.
It was you cosplaying as her for an event.
Yanfei would be sure to tell her friends back home.
Childe
“Well, I’m happy to hear that, Your Highness! But…what were you doing? Away from Teyvat?”
Childe’s smile was a little bit menacing to look at, so you pull up what you were doing before to distract him.
And it did, surprisingly.
“What is this?”
“It’s a game called Valorant.”
You start the game, and once you get prepared, he too was locked in.
With each attack and maneuver, Childe slowly became hyped up by your skill and admired it.
“Your Highness! Why didn’t you tell me before?!” He became to gush, albeit trying to remain civil as he looked between you and your character in game.
“Again.” In the end, he asked (begged) for another show.
This time, you changed your agent to someone else, and once again, showed how skilled you are even in melee, which Childe initially advised against.
But you blew his expectations away.
“Your Highness, can I duel you?”
You blink, before you laugh jokingly, but you knew in real life, Childe would absolutely crush you.
But you leave him be, and instead start another game.
Honestly, Childe would be a great hype man.
Fischl
“Ah, of course! How the stars seem to be against us this time…regardless! With me, Fischl von Luftschloss Narfidort here, there is nothing you need to worry about!”
As expected, Fischl is quite the actor and storyteller as she spews on about how she faced something similar before, something just as interstellar as this.
You don’t mind it, after all, if you did, you wouldn’t have Fischl on your team the entire time would you?
Fischl deserves more love is what you find in the fandom, and while she may be annoying at times, you found her passion admirable, and even a little sad when you think this is her way of happiness.
So you respected that, and listened as she rambled on, and moved as if she was on the stage.
Perhaps…she would do good on stage with Furina in Fontaine.
“Fischl, I do need your help on something.” You asked when she finally finished, and she straightened herself with grace as expected from the Prinzessin der Verurteilung.
“I need your help with my stories. I want you to create elaborate and dramatic narratives for everyone to love.” She froze for a moment, but her grin immediately hid her surprise.
“Why of course, I would be delighted. Allow me!” With just a few seconds to think, she immediately began her storytelling.
With her little graceful steps and hops, she almost dances away, but she doesn’t stop sharing her fantasy story full of magic, fate, and stars.
It was hard to keep up, but you didn’t want to disappoint her, so you did your best to type her word by word.
Luckily, she seemed to slow down to match your pace, as if the two of you were a duet with the piano and violin.
When she stops, you end off the story with a dramatic click, and you match her prideful smile.
Truly, Fischl is a character not everyone can handle, but that’s alright.
After all, you love her for who she is, and maybe, Fischl appreciated that more than anything else.
#genshin impact#genshin imagines#genshin x reader#genshin#genshin impact fanfic#childe genshin impact#genshin sagau#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x you#genshin impact x gender neutral reader#childe#tartaglia#childe x reader#aether#genshin traveler#aether x reader#paimon#kazuha#kazuha x reader#yanfei#yanfei x reader#genshin fluff#fischl#fischl x reader
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hi for the first tomlinson!sister blurb maybe like her and harry’s relationship during the years? her relationship with her family and louis idk lol im bad at coming up with ideas 😭
trope masterlist || ask me anything <3
anniversary masterlist is here !!
welcome to the first blurb of the week all for my first anniversary 💞 i hope you enjoy it just as much as i had creating it <3
authors note - thanks to whoever came up with this gorgeous idea it’s definitely a good one so i hope i somehow did it justice💗💗 when it comes to the tragic passings of johannah and felicity, i decided not to use there photos in this just to respect the privacy of the tomlinson family🙏
2010,
MARCH. (account private.)
liked by mrsjohannahdeakin, yourfriend and 23 others.
yourinstagram, good luck lou! can’t believe that my brother is auditioning for the x-factor i know for a fact that your going to smash it ❤️
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yourfriend, good luck louis!
mrsjohannahdeakin, can’t believe my baby boys doing this ❤️
yourfriend, wait what? how did i not know he was auditioning??
yourfriend, good luck
yourfriend, so that’s why your not in school today?
DECEMBER.
liked by gemmasfriend, yourinstagram and 21 others.
gemmastyles, get a room
tagged, yourinstagram
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gemmasfriend, can’t believe how famous harry is now
gemmasfriend, cuties
annetwist, all i see is a bunch of cuties
mrsjohannahdeakin, the cutest babies ever
gemmasfriend, Harry’s got a gf?
yourinstagram, gem!
2011,
SEPTEMBER. (account still private.)
liked by yourfriend, mrsjohannahdeakin and 56 others.
yourinstagram, so guess who appeared in her brothers music video? this girl and it was everything and more. if your my friend then you’ll go and stream it right now 💞
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yourfriend, this song is such a bop
yourfriend, im so jealous that you got to be that close to Harry 😮💨
yourinstagram, 🫣🫣
mrsjohannahdeakin, super proud of the boys for this
yourfriend, this song is so good like your brother and his friends are geniuses
2012,
FEBRUARY. (Account Still Private.)
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yourinstagram, birthday meal for the birthday boy happy eighteenth to my curly headed friend🎉🎂
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yourfriend, still can’t believe that your friends with the one direction boys
yourfriend, happy birthday harry
mrsjohannahdeakin, happy birthday harry feels like it was just yesterday that I met little sixteen year old you for the very first time
yourinstagram, he just read this and is blushing right infront of me
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enews, harry styles and his band mates little sister (yn) spotted getting cosy after leaving a restaurant together. read more at the link in our bio. 🔗
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username, wtf? that’s his bestfriends sister
username, the way he’s holding her in the third picture
username, this is kinda gross
username, why would she do that to louis?
username, wasn’t it his birthday yesterday?
username, and they were the only two who went out to celebrate so it was obviously a date
username, there actually cute
2013.
AUGUST.
“Homes always been a special place to me,”Harry spoke into the camera, head resting in the palm of his hand.
“I’ve taken a few people there but only people that mean something special to me, and yeah you could say that one of those people is (Y/N),” A soft smile formed on his face. “She just understands this life y’know like because of her brother being Lou.”
A cease formed in his brow. “Although telling Louis that I was dating his sister was something I wish I could go back and never have to do.”
“Only joking, he actually did take it pretty well to be fair,” he let out a soft laugh. “Let’s just say I didn’t end up with a black eye.”
— Harry referring to (Y/N) Tomlinson in This Is Us.
2014.
JUNE. (account public.)
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yourinstagram, fangirling proper rn because i’ve just met five seconds of summer and I don’t exactly know how to cope knowing i was stood right next to luke hemmings 😳
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username, this girl is living all of our fantasies right now
username, Callum’s a proper fitty
harrystyles, luke hemmings? not like you’ve got me or anything
yourinstagram, but his accent…
harrystyles, heyyyy
username, your adorable
username, i want to live your life
username, how does it feel girly??
2015,
APRIL.
enews, harry styles and (y/n) tomlinson spark engagement rumours just weeks after band mate zayn malik leaves the group. read more at the link in our bio. 🔗
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username, good for them i guess
username, hope this is true there my faves 🙏
username, she’s not even that pretty 🤷♀️
username, excuse you! but just because she’s dating someone that you find attractive doesn’t mean that you can be so mean to someone
username, aren’t they a little young?
username, ayyo
username, childhood sweethearts and all that jazz
username, defo a PR stunt
username, one that’s been going on for five years?
2016,
JANUARY.
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yourinstagram, welcome to the world our darling nephew, freddie reign tomlinson, auntie and uncle adore you so much ❤️💗
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username, freddie 😭
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username, love how she said ‘our nephew’ instead of ‘my nephew’
username, harry holding a baby is something i never knew i needed
username, imagine when him and (y/n) have kids
username, welcome to the world freddie!
username, he’s so cute!
harrystyles, he definitely likes me more.
yourinstagram, in your dreams lover boy
username, there banter >>>>
DECEMBER.
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yourinstagram, Mum, I miss you.
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2017,
APRIL.
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harrystyles, SIGN.OF.THE.TIMES // 7.APRIL. 17 //
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username, oh this is gonna be good
username, this songs is gonna be iconic just y’all wait
yourinstagram, so proud h! ❤️
harrystyles liked your comment.
username, him releasing music means that one direction are officially over and I don’t know how to feel about that
username, excited!
lottietomlinson, love love love
harrystyles liked your comment.
username, CRYING
username, that date is so soon! you could have given us some more time to prepare.
MAY.
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yourinstagram, tried to get a picture of cillian murphy but some rando was giving me death glares🤷♀️
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username, same girl same
username, if looks could kill girly
lottietomlinson, cillian could do a lot of things to me…
yourinstagram, 🫣
username, if harry styles looked at me like that id simply pass away
username, the two loves of my life
gemmastyles, give him my number!
yourinstagram, will do!
harrystyles, heyyyyy
2018,
november.
liked by louist91, annetwist and 5,431,890 others.
harrystylesandyourinstagram, 08.11.2018
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lottietomlinson, best day ever!
liampayne, one of the best days
annetwist, im still emotional typing this
niallhoran, loved it lad
gemmastyles, now give me a neice/nephew pls and thx
yourfriend, your dreams came true!
louist91, treat her right styles
zayn, so happy for you
2019,
march.
liked by username, taylorswift and 709,326 others.
yourinstagram, the moon was always her favourite. fizzy, i miss you.
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2020,
JANUARY.
liked by harrystyles, the.daisytomlinson and 934,431 others.
yourinstagram, my best friend just released his debut album, go listen to it or else i will hunt you down….
tagged, louist91
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username, already have!!
username, listened and loved every single song on it
harrystyles, i thought i was your best friend.
yourinstagram, you are baby, you are
username, this album ruined me 😭
username, whose music is better louis or harrys?
yourinstagram, uhhh 1D?
username, walls is gonna be iconic watch this space
2021,
SEPTEMBER.
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yourinstagram, The Away From Home Festival 💞
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username, gorgeous!
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yourinstagram, ❤️
username, im there aswell
username, isn’t harry starting tour tomorrow ?
username, yeah he is, guess she’s not going 🤷♀️
username, maybe they’ve divorced?
yourinstagram, hi! im flying out directly after this to go and support him just in time for his first show tomorrow, me and h are happier than ever so please stop trying to get involved in our personal lives x
username, that outfit is so pretty, so casual but so chic
username, she looks more and more like lottie everyday
username, is it just me or does it look like she has a bump?
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yourinstagram, it really is love on tour ❤️
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username, power couple
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username, can someone look at me the way harry looks at (y/n)??
username, my show!
username, she defo has a baby bump
username, don’t just assume things
username, your so gorgeous!
lottietomlinson, my beauty of a sister 💗
yourinstagram, have you seen yourself?
DECEMBER.
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yourinstagram and harrystyles, the best christmas present we could have ever asked for.
felix robin styles.
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2022,
JUNE.
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yourinstagram, London night one. ❤️
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username, so gorgeous.
username, it’s going to be such a good night !!
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yourinstagram, girl have you seen your dress? it’s beautiful !
username, love love love
username, it’s going to a night that goes down in history
thephoebetomlinson, can’t deal!
yourinstagram, mwah 💞
(Y/N) VIA INSTAGRAM STORIES !!
AUGUST.
liked by zayn, annetwist and 732,176 others.
yourinstagram, when felix met lucky 💙
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username, the second generation of tomlinsons are all boys 🥹
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username, cousins
username, felix is so big now wow
mrlewisburton, 💙
yourinstagram, he’s adorable x
username, i can’t believe that lotties had a baby 🥲
username, this is too much for my heart
liked by yourinstagram, ryan.viggars and 1,619,908 others.
louist91, I’m so excited to finally tell you that my new album Faith In The Future is out 11th November. After living with this album for a while I can’t wait for you all to hear it. Thank you for allowing me to make the music I want to make.
Link in bio to pre-order.
#FaithInTheFuture
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username, hold up - 🖐️
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username, screaming crying throwing up
yourinstagram, proud of you lou ❤️
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username, love there relationship so much 🥹
2023,
FEBRUARY.
liked by annetwist, zayn and 1,326,317 others.
yourinstagram, hands up if your husbands a three times grammy winner 🙌 words can’t explain how proud of him me and bubba are 💞
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username, im crying
username, i don’t know anyone more deserving
lottietomlinson, ❤️❤️
liked by yourinstagram.
username, SCREAMING
username, why can’t he look at me like that??
username, because your not (y/n) 🤷♀️
username, fairs
JULY.
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harrystyles, Love On Tour. Reggio Emilia. July, 2023.
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username, it’s really over
username, he’ll be back soon hopefully 🙏
thephoebetomlinson, such a good night ❤️
username, was the whole family there??
username, yeah they were !
username, don’t cry because it’s over cry because it happened
username, best night of my life
yourinstagram, so immensely proud ❤️
harrystyles, ❤️
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yourinstagram, lying on the beach as the sun blew out 🌊🏝️
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username, your so effortlessly gorgeous
username, felix is so big now like wasn’t he just born yesterday??
yourinstagram, it’s going far too quick !!
username, whose that handsome man?
username, just show us his face ffs
harrystyles, who lays on a sunbed like that?
yourinstagram, honestly he’s such a weirdo 🙄
NOVEMBER.
liked by zayn, darbyward and 843,290 others.
yourinstagram, a night ill never forget. 💫
tagged, louist91
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username, can’t believe how far he’s come 🥹
username, im emotional
username, was harry there?
username, this post is about louis not harry
annetwist, 💙
username, my pookie sold out the 02
2024,
JANUARY.
liked by lottietomlinson, niallhoran and 1,236,471 others.
yourinstagram, when felix met olive 🫒 so immensely proud of you phee, your already the best mama ever 💗
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username, the best duo
username, the first girl of the generation
username, how is Phoebe a mum like tf?
thephoebetomlinson, 💙🩷
yourinstagram, 🥹
FEBRUARY.
liked by annetwist, lottietomlinson and 1,346,371 others.
yourinstagram, when felix met his new forever bestie 🩷🩵
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username, can’t believe our gems a mum
username, cousins 🥹
the.daisytomlinson, babies 💞
username, your turn next
username, now fucking way
#familyties!universe#musicforastylesrestaurant#harry styles#harry styles angst#harry styles blurb#harry styles fluff#harry styles au#harry styles imagine#harry styles masterlist#harry styles fake ig#harry styles headcanon#louis tomlinson#harry styles x oc#harrystylesdrabble#harry styles fake social media#harry styles writing#harry styles x reader#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x you#harrystylesxreader#harry styles one shot#harry styles x yn
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Talk to Me (Part 2)
Part 1 / Part 3 (in progress)
Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)
Summary: (4 months after the first part) You and Loki have grown incredibly close, to the point where you both have feelings for each other but are afraid to admit it. One night, you have a nightmare while staying in Loki's room and he calms you but accidentally shows you his Jotun form in the process, triggering his own insecurities.
Warnings: fire (a small one), panic attack, fear of running a friendship, Loki being insecure about being a frost giant
A/N: Well... here's the second part I didn't plan on making lol @irishhappiness made a comment wondering how Loki would comfort Y/N if she has a nightmare which triggered her powers and then this just sort of happened... also there will now be a third part that I am working on 💚
FyI - I used some of my own experiences with panic attacks for this part, I know they are all different but this is just what they feel like when I have them
It's almost midnight when you finally see Stark Tower and smile knowing you are home, and going to see Loki again. You had both been away on missions for the last week but he texted you that he arrived back hours ago. You text Loki and let him know you'll be landing in a few minutes and Thor nudges your shoulder.
"Texting my brother again?" he asks with a smile.
"Yes," you dramatically hold your phone away from him. "Do you mind?"
He laughs, "Of course not. I'm glad to see you two have grown so close."
When the jet finally lands, you walk down the ramp and see Loki waiting for you near the entrance to the building. Thor waves and Loki rolls his eyes, keeping his hands in his pockets. He is unable to hide his smile when he sees you step out from behind his brother.
"I had a feeling it wasn't me he was waiting for," Thor jokes, looking down at you.
"I'm sure he missed you too," you laugh. Loki, as if to prove he is only there for you, walks past his brother without a word and wraps you in a tight hug. You hug him back, your body relaxing instantly the moment you're in his arms again. "You give the best hugs," you mumble against his chest.
"Does he?" Thor asks and takes a step towards his brother when he finally releases you.
Loki faces Thor and reminds him, "Y/N is still the only person allowed to hug me."
You giggle and hit Loki's arm gently, causing him to look back at you, "Be nice."
"I am being nice," he smirks. "I didn't threaten to stab him if he tries to hug me like last time."
You roll your eyes at him but Thor laughs and pats his younger brother on the back hard before leaving you both for the night. You pick up your bag and walk together towards the Tower, telling Loki the highlights of your time away. When you finish, you ask Loki how his mission was.
"Successful of course," he says proudly then he adds, "I wish we had been assigned together. You are far better company than the Captain and Stark. Plus, then I would not have had to miss you."
You giggle and try to hide the blush that creeps up your cheeks at his words. You would have preferred Loki was your partner on your last mission as well, or all of your missions for that matter.
"You should probably head to bed," Loki suggests when you reach the elevators even though the last thing he wants to do is say goodnight to you already.
"Or we could watch the last episode of that show you insist you hate," you offer hopefully. You didn't want to admit you were exhausted, you just needed to spend a little time with him.
He chuckles, "We could do that."
You sit next to Loki on the couch and try to focus on the show but you're finding it difficult. Not only are you fighting to stay awake but Loki is also sitting closer to you then he ever has before. When you first started this show a few months ago, he would sit at the other end of the couch, placing a collection of snacks between the two of you. Over the course of the series, he had gradually started sitting closer and closer to you. You weren't sure if he was doing it on purpose or not but it wasn't something you were going to complain about. Tonight, there is no space left between you, your shoulders touch and his leg rests against yours comfortably.
All you want is to lean into him and feel his arm around you but you don't move. He really has gotten good at giving hugs and you've decided that means he is also very good at cuddling. It is a theory you want to test but your friendship is too important for you to risk it. He is still in such need of a friend and you have to put that first.
You almost make it to the end of the hour long show, but not quite. Your head nods and comes to rest lightly on Loki's shoulder as you finally lose the battle to stay awake. He looks over and smiles when he feels you shift. He could tell you were too tired to watch the show but there was no chance he was going to turn down spending even a minute with you.
He runs his fingers slowly through your hair and you smile in your sleep. You nuzzle against him and he wishes he could hold you the whole night. He knows he can't though, you are simply friends. He sighs, wondering if this is as close as he will ever get to falling asleep with you and places a soft kiss on the top of your head. His heart skips a beat when you respond by mumbling his name in your sleep. Carefully he gets up from the couch and helps you lay down on the pillow he conjured. He waves his hand again and covers you with the softest blanket he can create.
He stands over you for a moment, taking in how cute and peaceful you look curled up under the blanket. He whispers, "Sleep well, darling," then goes into his room.
Loki lays in his bed but finds himself unable to get close to sleep. He wishes he could pick you up and bring you into his bed so he could keep you close. He has never missed anyone the way he misses you, he has never had a person in his life like you before.
When he was a child, it seemed as if he had dozens of friends but they weren't really his. They were Thor's friends and he simply inserted himself in their games. As he grew older, he found it harder and harder to relate to his peers and they slowly distanced themselves from him.
You are the only person who has ever chosen him over Thor or anyone else for that matter. He knew he was truly your first choice when he was the one you came to two months ago when you became an aunt in the middle of the night. He could barely believe the fact that he was the person you wanted to share one of your happiest moments with. He sat with you for over an hour, looking at the same ten pictures of the little new born but he would have done it all night if it meant he could see you smile and listen to you laugh.
He groans and puts his hand over his eyes, there is no doubt in his mind that he is your closest friend and you are his. He can talk to you about anything but the one thing he cannot bring himself to tell you is that he wants to be more than your friend.
Loki's eyes finally close but only moments later he sits up, his body rigid with fear as you scream. He throws off his blankets and runs into the living area.
"Y/N," he says your name in a panic, his heart pounding in his chest at the sight in front of him. You are sitting up on his couch, looking at the blanket he placed over you which is fully engulfed in flames. You hold your hand shakily over the fire but you can't pull the flames back, you are still too frantic from your nightmare to control your powers.
Loki instantly drops his illusion and waves his hands towards you as he comes to your side. The icy air covers the blanket and quickly smothers the fire. You kick off the charred blanket and pull your legs up to your chest, lowering your head on your knees as you breath heavily.
"Are you okay?" he asks, putting his arm around you as he sits on the singed couch. You shake your head no. "What do you need?" he asks but you don't respond.
You squeeze your hands shut tightly to stop them from trembling and look up towards Loki's voice but you are lightheaded and the quick movement makes you dizzy. You know he asked you something but his voice seems far away as does the rest of the room. You can no longer feel the couch you are sitting on or the floor under your feet, you are vaguely aware that you are disassociating but there is nothing you can do to stop it. Your heart pounds faster in your chest and you fear it may never slow down again.
Loki takes your hand and pulls you up from the couch when you don't answer him. He sits on the floor with his back against the couch and guides you down so you are sitting directly in front of him with your back flush to his chest. He takes your hands in his and let's out a quiet gasp of pain when sparks erupt from your fingers.
"Y/N," he whispers in your ear. You mumble his name in return and he asks, "Can you name five things you can see?"
"What?" you ask, confused by the random question. His cool fingers interlace with yours and small clouds of icy air calm the flames that are rise from your hands.
"Tell me five things you can see," he repeats in a low voice.
You try to focus on answering him. You can hear your heart pounding in your ears as you look around the far off living room. Slowly, you list five objects.
"Good, now can you tell me four things you can touch?" he asks quietly.
Your breathing is still ragged as your chest tightens but you push yourself to think about Loki's second question. You take a breath then look around to find the first three objects. "And I can feel your hands," you give Loki your fourth answer, his fingers squeeze your hand gently. As you say each item, you can almost feel the room shrinking to a less distorted size.
"How about three things you can hear?" he asks.
"My breathing," you turn to rest the side of your head on his chest, "Your heart beat and your voice," the answers come quicker now.
"Two things you can smell?" Loki asks, you finally register how worried his voice sounds.
"My shampoo," you answer, suddenly remembering when Loki told you he loved the way your shampoo smelled. You bought four more bottles of the fruit scented soap that weekend. "And your cologne," you tell him, a smile crosses your lips when you inhale deeply and breath in your favorite smell.
"You're doing so well, I just need you to tell me one thing you can taste now," he says.
"Do the apples on your dining table count?" you ask him as your eyes scan his apartment.
"If you think they do, they count," he responds and you nod that they should count. "How do you feel?" he asks after a moment.
"Better," you realize suddenly. Your heart rate feels normal, even your breathing is steady and easy. You are no longer lightheaded and feel as if everything around you is real and not distorted. You ask, "How did you know how to do that?"
"I read that it was a popular grounding technique," he explains. "I looked into ways to help you after you told me your nightmares sometimes triggered panic attacks."
You smile at the effort he had gone through to make sure he could help you, "Thank you Loki." You feel safe and comfortable pressed against Loki and look down, feeling your hands still in his hands. Loki's skin is a deep shade of blue and it takes you a moment to realize why. You shift to face him, his crimson eyes fixed on yours and he smiles. "Is this your Jotun form?" you ask, touching the ridges on his cheek with your fingertips lightly.
His smile vanishes and he immediately shifts back into his Asgardian form, pulling his fingers free from your other hand. "I'm sorry," he says nervously as he gets up and walks away from you.
He sighs, "I did promise that, didn't I?"
"For what?" you ask getting up but he ignores you. "Wait, Loki," you call as he heads towards his bedroom and pauses under the door frame. You walk towards him and say, "Please don't do that. Don't shut me out." You slip your hand into his and he looks at you. "You promised you would talk to me, remember?"
You nod and try to smile, hoping he will open up to you. You are always worried Loki will retreat behind the walls you've worked so hard to break down.
A small smile tugs at his lips and he says, "I don't know what I did to deserve such a fiercely devoted friend."
You shrug and hold your forced smile as you feel a twinge of pain in your chest when he refers to you simply as his friend.
"We will talk in the morning, I promise," he says as he moves to pull you into a hug. "You need to rest."
I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!
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Father knows best chapter 14: Don't give up on me
'I will fight
I will fight for you
I always do, until my heartIs black and blue
And I will stay
I will stay with you
We'll make it to the other side
Like lovers do.
I'll reach my hands out in the dark
And wait for yours to interlock.
I'll wait for you.
I'll wait for you. ~ Don't give up on me, Andy Grammer. {movie: Five feet apart.}
♡
♡
♡
Possum note: That's right, this book still exists. I didn't forget. Don't worry. Lol.
I've been so sick all week otherwise it would have been posted last week. Had some editing to do for it before posting. Hopefully it's alright. It's really late rn.
⚠️TW: involuntary Regression, talks of abuse, mentioned trafficking lots of hurt feelings, apologizes, regrets, implied self hate, Talks of violence, fear of rejection, hospitals. LMK if I should add.
♡
♡
♡
~~~M&M: Past:~~~
Millie and Moxxie had the most beautiful wedding.
He's not sure if it was only the most beautiful wedding he's ever seen because it was actually that beautiful…or because it was his.
It didn't really matter, it was the most beautiful in any case.
He's never been so happy in his entire life!
…but he's also never been more terrified either.
Millie would be in huge danger if they were ever found out.
He has absolutely no doubt that she could handle herself if anyone came after them, but that didn't mean he felt okay about that possibility.
“I wish my parents could've been here to see this.” Millie says as they lay in their bed at the hotel room.
“I know. Me too.” He says, laying down next to her.
The two of them stare at the ceiling…
“Did you tell your pa we got married?” Millie asks.
“Yeah, he says congratulations.” He lies.
Millie smiles. “That was nice. When do I get to meet him?”
“I don't know.” Moxxie says. “He’s just really busy. He's never really had time for family stuff…not since…”
“Your ma?” Millie asks.
Sure.
“Yeah.” He says.
“Do you think she would have liked me?” Millie asks.
“She would have loved you.” Moxxie tells her…
…It's the truth…he thinks.
But sometimes, you have to make up your own truth. “She would have been very happy for us.” He says. “She would have loved to be here.”
He tried so hard to imagine what it would have been like if she were here…
There's a good version…and a bad one.
In the good fantasy, she helped Millie get ready, told her how happy she was that Moxxie was happy…like the movies.
She'd give Millie the pearls she wore at her wedding, a gift from her mother.
And Millie would wear them, even if they're not really her style.
Millie is a badass, but she's also so kind and polite. Even if Moxxie tried to say something, Millie would insist she wear them.
‘I'm wearing them. They're the…most beautiful pearls I've ever seen in my entire life and I'm honored.’
‘Millie, you don't have to-’
‘Shut up, I'm wearing them!’
His mother would turn to Moxxie and tell him to treat Millie well because she deserved the world…because she does.
She absolutely does.
She deserved everything from him. Every good thing he could give.
Since he was already imagining, his father and Alessio would be there too…
His father would tell him that he made his father proud, that he found a good one.
Alessio would hand them the rings at the ceremony with a proud smile on his face.
But…
Then, there was the real version…
What would really happen if they were all there…
His mother would beg him not to do it.
‘Don't ruin Millie's life like your father did mine, please. She deserves better than this.’
She'd warn Millie not to go through with it.
His father would call him a miserable failure, he'd definitely put a stop to the wedding before it could actually happen…
Alessio would pull him away before the ceremony so that Millie would think he just stood her up.
They'd lock him up for a few days, and his mother would tell him it was all for the best.
“Honey?” Millie asks him, pulling him out of those dark thoughts. “Are you okay?”
….He decided he'd stick with the fantasy.
Moxxie smiles at her. “I'm okay. I love you so much.” He tells her, taking her hand.
“I love you too.” She says. She kisses Moxxie with such passion and devotion that he could feel nothing but happiness and love for her.
She was his family now…
No one else matters.
They're okay. And he’ll do everything to make sure of that.
~~~Present:~~~~
They arrive at the hospital to bring M&M in.
Stolas was already there at the door waiting for them.
Once they are parked, Stolas starts barking orders at the hospital staff, knowing he'll need to use his authority to get them to help the imps. Imps aren't exactly a priority otherwise.
Blitzø gets out of the van quickly so they can get to Millie first.
“Blitzø! Are you alright?” Stolas asks once he's out of the van, taking his wrist so he can look the imp over quickly to examine his burns and scars.
“I'm fine, M&M are the ones who need help.” Blitzø explains. “Millie was shot, and Moxxie- I don't really know what's happening with him to be honest with you. But he's not… doing okay.”
Stolas tells the staff to get Millie out of the van. “She needs help first, and then these two.” Stolas gestures to Moxxie and Blitzø once Moxxie is also out, along with Loona and Sallie May.
The staff nods and they immediately tend to Millie.
Blitzø sighs. “Stolas-”
“Shush.” Stolas says to Blitzø before turning his attention back to the staff. “And check those two as well.” He says, pointing at Loona and Sallie May. “No one is leaving this hospital until you're sure everyone is alright.” He says.
“Yes, sir. We'll get her in and fixed up, if everyone else can please wait in the waiting room.” One of the doctors says to them.
Stolas gestures for Blitzø to sit in the waiting room first, face firm in case he tries to argue again.
Blitzø does as Stolas tells him, but he doesn't like it! He hates hospitals! Stolas knows that!
His little self is creeping out, small thoughts of how mean Stolas is for making him do this, it's not fair-
Now is not the time to be small, Blitzø!
He tried to get himself out of it, thinking of big things…
Uhm taxes…
Paperwork…
Muder?
Stolas attempts to comfort Blitzø by placing a gentle hand in his.
Blitzø looks at their hands, then smiles and lightly squeezes Stolas's.
He's not really helping the smallness. But he does appreciate it.
Suddenly, someone shoves a clipboard at him. Not violently, but suddenly. “Just some paperwork for you to fill out. Where do I give Millie's?” One of the nurses asked.
Blitzø blinks. “Uh.”
“I got it.” Stolas says, taking the clipboard.
“You know nothing about Millie.” Blitzø says once the nurse is gone.
“You're doing it.” Stolas says. “I don't think Moxxie is in the right headspace for it.”
“No kidding.” Blitzø mumbles, taking the clipboard from him.
He finishes his and then does his best to fill in Millie's…
But he doesn't know everything about her…
Sigh…
He needs Moxxie's help.
He looks up at the white haired Imp, just staring at his own clipboard, eyes looking dead.
This was all his fault…
Why didn't he just ask Stolas for help sooner?
Moxxie deserves a lot better.
~~~Moxxie and Blitzø:~~~~
Moxxie sat down by himself across from Blitzø, but far enough away from him and Loona. He really just wants to be alone right now…
But he also doesn't. He doesn't really know.
The nurse handed him some paperwork, and he set it aside immediately, he didn't want to see a doctor…he just wanted it all to be over.
He wishes he didn't exist.
But not with his father…
Or with him? It would be easier if he was there instead.
No.
No, that would not be better, that's manipulation talking. Not the truth.
He wants to be here.
Okay not here…but better here than there he supposed.
He has a clipboard in his hands…
He looked at the other one that he just set aside, then looked down at it and realized it wasn't the hospitals…it was the list of all the littles that were trafficked by his father.
He doesn't even remember grabbing it. He flips it open and looks through the many names…
He carefully reads them…looks like most of those who were trafficked are in pride.
Makes sense, probably sinners since they can't adopt littles of their own.
For good reasons, he's sure.
Sick fucks.
“Moxxie?”
Moxxie looks up at Blitzø who was looking at him with what appeared to be nervousness.
He blinks…is he sure it's Blitzø?
Blitzø hands him another clipboard, there's too many clipboards.
“I tried filling it in as best as I could but I don't remember Millie's blood type.” Blitzø says. “Or birthday.”
Moxxie doesn't respond, only looks over the unanswered questions and fills them out real quick.
Blitzø sits next to him. “Hey…”
Moxxie looks back at his boss.
Blitzø sighs, he knows Moxxie is not okay, but he wants to ask anyway! What's a way to ask that isn't so…obvious?
“How uh- how you holding up?” Blitzø asks, hoping that was an okay way of asking.
Moxxie shrugs, expression not changing. “I don't know…I'm-”
He thinks it over, not sure what to say.
He gives up, finishing Millie's paper work before moving on to his own.
“Look…Mox, I'm so sorry for what happened today- I didn't mean to start that fire…” Blitzø takes a second to breathe, not wanting to think about how…
How familiar it all felt.
He often wished he just apologized to Fizz that day, he wasn't about to make the same mistake with Moxxie.
Moxxie doesn't say anything, so Blitzø continues: “I could have saved you earlier if I had just accepted help from Stolas. I don't know why I didn't I guess I just-”
Moxxie raises an eyebrow. “Did- did you just apologize to me?” He asks.
Blitzø looks at Moxxie, confused. “...Yes?”
“You've- I don't think you've ever done that before.” Moxxie says.
Blitzø hums. He looks away from Moxxie. “Yeah…pretty sure I owe you at least five thousand apologies at this point.” He says. “Sorry it took so long to finally hear one. I've been awful to you. I'm awful to everyone…it's not a excuse, that would be the worst defense actually…I just-”
“That's two.” Moxxie says.
Blitzø scoffs. “Shut up, please? I'm being serious.” He says, slightly amused by Moxxie, but not wanting to admit it.
“Serious too? Wow. Lots of new behaviors from you today.” Moxxie says, not mean or sarcastic, just…teasingly?
“Forgive me for being a little remorseful.” Blitzø rolls his eyes in annoyance, crossing his arms as he leans back in his chair.
“Vocabulary improved too.” Moxxie says.
“Okay, we're done talking about me.” Blitzø says, same annoyed tone.
“Stolas must be a good influence on you-”
“Moxxie!” Blitzø shouts, not in a mean way, just loudly to show his seriousness.
Moxxie chuckles. “I'm sorry, I'm done. I'm just…I don’t know. I can't take anything seriously right now. Everything is so fucked up, I don't really know how to react to anything right now.
Blitzø nods. “Yeah…I get that.”
“I’m sorry I lied to you, sir.” Moxxie says, catching Blitzø a little off guard.
“Blitzø.” Blitzø corrects, not sure how else to respond.
Moxxie nods. “I’m sorry I lied to you, Blitzø. I know I should have told you the truth before, but it was just- I- well…”
“Moxxie…you have nothing to apologize for, alright? You didn’t do anything wrong. I wouldn’t have told me either, are you kidding?” Blitzø asks. “You didn't know what kind of person I was. And even when you did, it didn't really matter. Besides, I sorta figured you were a little anyway.” Blitzø admits.
“Really?” Moxxie asks. ”It was that obvious?”
“Well, it was always a question in the back of my mind. The point is, you have nothing to be ashamed of, and just because I know for sure now, doesn’t mean I’ll treat you any different.” Blitzø explains.
“Thank you, s- uh Blitzø.” Moxxie says. “But-“
“What?” Blitzø asks.
“Crimson threatened your family, he threatened I.M.P! Even if he is…-” He can't bring himself to say it. “I bring danger wherever I go! What if the rest of my family decides to find me? What if they-”
Blitzø grips his shoulders again. “Moxxie, my family is safe. We’re fine. Everyone is okay. If they’re not, we’ll deal with it. This isn’t your fault.” He says.
“But I should never have let it get that far in the first place! You saved me from being homeless, you helped me escape prison, saved me from my family, twice now- you don’t deserve this!” Moxxie says.
“Moxxie, we’re friends. We fight shit together. Besides, this was nothing I couldn’t handle.” Blitzø says. “We escaped prison together, we started I.M.P together, we fought the human government! There's nothing we can't do. And Millie? She could do it all without us, but she has us: we can handle anything that's thrown our way so long as we got each other's backs.”
“Moxxie nods. “Thanks, Blitzø.”
“Don’t mention it.” He says. “Well, since I now know your secret…I guess it's only fair you know mine.”
“Are you going to tell me that you're a little too?” Moxxie asks him.
Blitzø sighs. “Yup.”
“I figured.” Moxxie says.
Blitzø shrugs. “Well, littles kinda have a weird sixth sense about these things.” Blitzø says.
Moxxie nods. “Yeah... “It doesn't change how I feel about you either.” He says reassuringly.
“Thanks, Mox.” Blitzø doesn't smile, but Moxxie knows that he was happy to hear it.
“I need to apologize to Millie.” Moxxie says. “But, I don't know how.”
Blitzø nods. “Yeah, that won't be a fun one. But, it'll be fine.”
“What if she never forgives me?” Moxxie asks.
“She will.” Blitzø says.
“She shouldn't.” Moxxie argues.
“She will.” Blitzø says again, a little louder.
“I didn't mean to cause all of this.” Moxxie says.
“Moxxie, stop. You didn't cause this.”
“Stop saying that.” Moxxie says. “Because I did.”
“I will stop once you stop blaming yourself, it was my fault more than it was yours; You didn't ask to be kidnapped or to be forced into your father's creepy mind games.” He says. “You're the victim in case you haven't noticed.”
Moxxie looks as if he's about to say something else…but he doesn't.
While they were talking, Stolas had taken all the paperwork to the nurse.
“Moxxie Knolasname?” The nurse called. “The doctor will see you now.”
Moxxie stands up.
“Good luck.” Blitzø says.
Moxxie smiles at him. “Thanks, Blitzø.”
Moxxie looks at him for a moment, as if there was something more he wanted to say…
But he didn't.
~~~Blitzø and Loona:~~~
After the conversation with Moxxie, Blitzø got started on his next apology…
He moved to sit down next to his daughter, the guilt eating at him alive…
“What do you want?” Loona sighs.
“I didn't mean to worry you, Loony.” Blitzø says. “I know I messed up.” He says.
Loona sighs. “We could have lost Moxxie.” She states.
“Loon-”
She holds up a finger. “I couldn't lose you both. I couldn't live with that. You're my father, dude. You're supposed to be there, I still need you around!” She shouts, trying not to be too loud, but she's so angry, she can't help it.
Blitzø takes a deep breath. “I know, I'm sorry. I just-”
“You need to take care of yourself!” Loona says. “I'm not losing another parent.” She says.
“Loona, you're not-”
Loona starts tearing up. “This was all my fault…” she whispers.
“What?” Blitzø asks, he hasn't seen her cry in a while…he's not sure what to do.
“I was supposed to be watching him, I couldn't track him down, I've been so awful to him!” Loona cries outwardly now.
“Hey.” Blitzø rests a hand on her shoulder. “Loona, this was not your fault…do you hear me?” Blitzø asks.
Loona nods. “Yeah.”
“Good. It wasn't your job to take care of Moxxie, he's a grown man.” He says. “I never should have put that on you. I never thought it would go this far.”
“...I couldn't track him.” She says.
“It was impossible to track him. Why would I expect the impossible from you?” Blitzø asks. “That's ridiculous.”
“You don't get it.” Loona says. “It's the one thing I'm good at, the only thing I'm good for, isn't that why you adopted me!?” She asks.
Blitzø's eyes widened. “What?! Of course not! Loonie-”
Loona turns away.
“No, look at me, Loonie.” Blitzø tells her. “You are my daughter. You mean way more to me than your physical abilities. I know you. You're smarter than you think you are, you're hilarious, driven, you hide everything behind sarcasm and anger but I know how passionate you are, how you want way more than anyone could or has ever offered. Loona…you matter to me. I love you. I saw that you had so much to offer the world and deserved a better chance, that's why I adopted you. No other reason.”
Loona looks at him.
“I went into that pound to find a hellhound for I.M.P. but…my motives changed once I saw you.” Blitzø explains further.
Loona smiles.
She wants to thank him, tell him that she loves him too…
But…
She really doesn't want to cry again.
Loona wipes away the tears quickly and stands up. “I'm gonna go get some real Coffee, want some?” Loona asks.
Blitzø shakes his head. “No, my nerves are bad enough right now.” He says, half joking.
Loona smiles and nods. “Yeah.” She turns to Stolas, who was a decent distance away. “Take care of him?”
Stolas smiles at her, then at Blitzø. “Always.”
~~~Stolas and Blitzø: a few minutes later:~~~
“Okay, Mr Blitzo. We're ready for you.” Someone suddenly says.
Blitzø's breathing fastens as his chest feels this horrible- horrible pain.
He was doing so well, but now he either wants to cry or kill every nurse and doctor in this damn place!
“Is it alright if I accompany him?” Stolas asks.
“I suppose so, if he's okay with that.” The doctor says.
“Blitzø?” Stolas asks him for clarification. “Is it alright if I go with you?”
Blitzø nods, taking Stolas's hand. “Please.”
He's feeling small…he can't fight it anymore. He needs Stolas there!
Stolas smiles. “Come on.” He leads Blitzø to the doctor's office.
They get a few strange looks, but no one questioned why he went with the imp.
“Take a seat please.” The doctor tells him.
Blitzø climbs up on the hospital bed and sits down, still holding Stolas's hand.
He's kicking his little feet anxiously and his eyes are showing off innocence.
Stolas realizes he's small now, and he gives Blitzø a worried look.
“Alright, Mr Blitzø. What happened here?” The doctor asks.
Blitzø doesn't answer, he just bites down on one of his claws.
“There was a fire.” Stolas says softly, taking Blitzø's hand out of his mouth.
“Is he a little?” She asks Stolas.
Stolas feels a cold sweat as the imp is reaching for him, asking for some comfort.
“Well, I want to say no.” Stolas says.
“Stowes.” Blitzø whispers loudly, it's cute he thinks the doctor can't hear that.
“He's a secret little then?” She asks. “I get those more often than you'd think. I promise I won't say anything.” She says. “It's not really any of my business.”
“Oh.. Thank you, I appreciate that.” Stolas says.
She gently and carefully touches Blitzø’s face.
Blitzø flinches and moves away from her.
“Hey, it's okay, sweetie.” She says.
Blitzø whines, reaching and clawing at Stolas to get away.
Stolas takes his hands carefully. “Blitzø, calm down, please. She's not going to hurt you, I promise I wouldn't let her do that.”
Blitzø does believe Stolas, but that didn't make him any less afraid!
His breathing continued rapidly as soft whines escaped him as she examined his wounds.
She looks them over and carefully bandages him up. “He'll be fine, there's gonna be quite a few new white marks on him, but-”
“But he'll be alright?” Stolas asks.
She nods. “Oh yeah, he'll be fine.” She turns to Blitzø. “You'll have to keep those bandages on for a bit until they're fully healed, okay hun?” The doctor asks. “Replace them every day or so, or whenever you think you need to.”
Blitzø doesn't answer her, just stares at her with fear and skepticism.
Stolas speaks up. “I'll make sure he takes care of himself. Don't worry.”
She smiles. “You're so lucky to have such a good caregiver.” She says, handing Blitzø a lollipop.
Blitzø takes it, reluctantly, biting the plastic and deciding its gross.
Stolas shakes his head as he takes the lollipop and unwraps it for him. “No, I'm the lucky one.”
“Is that your daddy?” The doctor asks.
Blitzø shakes his head. “Mm no. Dats my Stowes.”
Stolas pets his head. “Is there somewhere we can go until he's out of his headspace?” Stolas asks.
“Of course. There's a quiet room outside. Walk down the hall. It's the one with the koala on the door.” She says.
“Thank you.” Stolas smiles.
~~~Moxxie and Sally May.~~~
“You alright?” Sallie May approached Moxxie once he got out of the doctors office, she handed him a coffee from the machine.
“I'm fine.” Moxxie says, taking the coffee. “Thanks.”
“The coffee here sucks.” She says. “I'm getting some real coffee after they tell us Millie's not fucking dying.”
Loona offered to get her one, but she turned her down, not knowing the wolf well enough to trust her with her drink.
Moxxie’s breathing fastens at that moment, thinking about Millie and the state she's in!
“Woah, chill out. She's fine, she's survived worse than this.” Sallie tells him.
“I know, I know. I know she's fine, I just-”
“You're worried, I get it.” Sallie says. “I am too…”
They were quiet for a few minutes,
“So. You're a little?” Sallie May asks.
Moxxie nods, it was weird admitting it. “Yeah, so?”
“So, how'd you fake the test?” She asks.
“My father made me.” Moxxie says. “Hypnosis works wonders on the mind.”
Sallie May hums, understandingly.
“How about you?” Moxxie asks back.
Sallie's eyes widened. “What?”
“I've known since I first met you.” Moxxie says.
“You've never said anything...” Sallie says, shifting awkwardly.
“It's not really my business.” Moxxie says.
Sallie licks her lips. She has never talked to anyone about it…ever. Not even Millie or her brothers.
“You don't have to answer.” Moxxie says. “I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
She looks away from him, appreciating his sensitivity, she supposed.
She's not sure if it was the situation or the fact that Moxxie is a little that makes her want to, but she does want to tell him. “...It was hard after I came out.” She explains, not entirely sure why, but she thinks she can trust him. “My parents didn't really…get it. I mean, they were fine with me being myself, they tried to be supportive. But, it was so stressful! Everyone was treating me like- like I changed but I didn't! I dyed my hair and changed my clothes, and they acted like I was a complete stranger they didn't even know!”
Moxxie nods.
Sallie took some deep breaths. The only one who treated her the same was Millie, their rivalry didn't change a bit…and it was amazing!
‘Thanks for not…you know, treating me like a complete stranger.’
‘You're not a stranger, I always knew who you were, an annoying, stubborn, badass bitch. I think…you're brave. Being honest about who you are isn't always easy. Especially with our parents.’
It was a small compliment that they barely lingered on…
But it meant the world to Sallie…
“After that I- I just- I didn't know how to tell them that I was a regressor too. So, I didn't. I studied that test for months to make sure I didn't get a regressor classification… I just couldn't do it.”
Moxxie nods. “Yeah…I get that.” Moxxie sayd. “I don't know how I'm going to face it.”
“Face what?” She asks.
“The rest of my life.” Moxxie says.
“I've been there, trust me. Sometimes being yourself is harder than the fake version you've invented…but that ain't livin.” She says.
“But I've been pretending my whole life.” Moxxie says. “I don't even know where the facade ends and I start. I feel like I've been broken for so long…and I'm just pretending I'm all put together.”
“It's okay to not be, you know, it's okay to not be alright. It's alright to be a little broken. Everyone is a little…”
“People always say that, but they never mean it.” He says.
“I do…” She takes a sip of coffee then turns to him. “Suffer.” She says, snarkily.
Moxxie rolls his eyes.
“Seriously though, let yourself feel. Those who really matter will be there. “
“You need to learn to take your own advice.” Moxxie says.
Sallie shrugs. “But I worry no one in my family really matters.”
“We do.” Moxxie says. “Millie and I will be there for you regardless of what your family says. But you should give them a chance to care before assuming they won't be supportive.”
Sallie May scoffs. “You need to learn to take your own advice.”
“Moxxie, you can see your wife now.”
Moxxie feels a sharp pain of guilt hit his heart…
He takes a deep breath.
“It'll be alright.” Sallie May promises.
But there's no way she can know that…
Moxxie nods anyway and stands up.
“Moxxie?”
“Yeah?”
“Don't tell Millie about me.” She says.
“I wouldn't do that.” Moxxie says. “I promise your secret is safe with me.”
~~~Stolas and Blitzø:~~~~
Blitzø and Stolas find the quiet room.
The sign on the door wrote: ‘Quiet room/Sensory-friendly room. Please be respectful.’
The room was a beautiful blue color, and the lighting was soft as was the music that was playing inside.
There were toys in the center of the room, and beautiful shelves that were sorted nicely and labeled.
-Fidgets
-soft toys.
-paper
-towels
-wipes
-headphones.
It was a paradise for any little one, or for those who deal with sensory issues, anxiety, or those who are autistic.
It had everything they could possibly need.
Stolas set Blitzø down next to him in the seating area. “Are you doing alright?” Stolas asks him.
Blitzø shrugs, climbing back onto Stolas’s lap.
“Do you want to go home?” He asks, petting the imp’s head.
Blitzø shakes his head and whines through the lollipop in his mouth, hugging Stolas tight.
“Would you like to stay with me tonight?” Stolas asks him.
Blitzø nods. “Scay.” He says through the lolly.
Stolas kisses the top of Blitzø's head. “Alright, you can stay with me. As long as you'd like, little one.”
“Stowes?” Blitzø asks, taking the candy out of his mouth.
“Yes dear?”
“M’ in twoble?”
Stolas tilts his head. “Of course not, darling. Why would you think that?”
“I ‘pose ta be big.” He says.
Stolas kisses the top of Blitzø's head. “You can't help that, darling. You had such a big stressful day today. Besides, the doctor isn't going to say anything. Even if she did, I promise I would never let anything bad happen to you. Alright?”
Blitzø nods. “Stowes?”
“Yes?”
“Hawts.” He whines, resting his head against Stolas's chest.
“I know, dear. I promise it'll get better.” Stolas holds him gently, avoiding his more sensitive areas. It was hard but he found a comfortable enough position to hold the imp before the little one fell fast asleep.
~~~Millie and Moxxie:~~~
Moxxie hesitates a moment before entering Millie's room.
What can he say?
He lied to her, hid his true self, his family, and dragged her into all of it.
His head was spinning and he felt so cold…
The doctors had prescribed him anti-anxiety medication and gave him the number to a therapy clinic.
That's what he needs. Drugs and strangers to talk to about what happened.
Right now he wishes he could take the drugs.
And talking to a stranger would be easier than talking to Millie right now …
Which hurts…because Millie is his favorite person to talk to.
He takes a deep breath and opens the door.
“Moxxie!” She smiles, lively as ever. She acts as if she didn't lose a shit ton of blood from her leg.
“Hi.” Moxxie smiles. “How are you feeling?”
Millie reaches for Moxxie's hand and pulls him forward, hugging him tightly. “I'm so glad you're safe. Are you hurt at all?”
Moxxie shakes his head. “I'm fine Millie. I'm not hurt. I'm okay.”
Millie sighs with relief. “Good.”
There was a few minutes of silence between the two…now that they both know the other was fine… there was room for other thoughts.
“Moxxie?” Millie asks, voice a bit hesitant, but determined as well.
Moxxie looks at her. “Yeah?”
Millie looked up at her husband sadly. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She asks him. “I would have understood. I don't under-”
“Millie…” Moxxie turns his head slightly away from her. “Can we maybe not talk about this right now?” He interupts.
“I’m your wife!” Millie says. “How could you not tell me? I am always here for you, how could you think that I-” Millie takes a deep breath. “What did you think I would do to you?”
Moxxie shakes his head. “Nothing, I just-” he really didn’t want to talk about it…he wanted to forget it.
“Moxxie?” Millie asks. “Are you alright?”
Moxxie shakes his head again. “She was right. I never should have dragged you into this. I'm sorry.”
“Who's she?” Millie asks.
Moxxie gets up and walks around the room a bit. He doesn't know why, he just has to move!
“Moxxie?” Millie asks.
“Do you need anything?” He asks. “Are you hungry or need another pillow?”
“I need answers.” She says simply.
She doesn't understand any of this…what was going on!?
Moxxie sighs. “Millie…please?”
Millie nods. “Alright. I'm- I'm sorry. You're right. It can wait, I'm just-”
Moxxie takes her hand. “You don't have to be…I'm the one who's sorry.” Moxxie says.
Millie smiles at him. “It's okay.” She says. “You didn't do anything wrong, hun. I'm not mad at you.”
“Really?” Moxxie asks. “You're not mad?”
“Of course I'm not mad. I'm confused, maybe a little hurt, but I'm sure you have your reasons, right?” Millie asks him.
Moxxie nods.
Millie reaches to touch Moxxie's face. “I love you so much. You know that, don't you?”
Moxxie nods. “I know. I love you too.”
Moxxie sighs and he's suddenly very unable to stand still, fidgeting, needing something to do.
“Hun?” Millie asks.
Moxxie looks at her. “Yeah?”
“Can you get me a glass of water?” She asks.
Moxxie smiles and nods. “Yeah. Thanks, Millie.” He says, about to leave the room.
“And Moxxie?”
He stops. “Yes, Millie?”
“Whatever the answer is- when you're ready…it'll be okay.” She promises. “We'll work this out together. Like we always do.”
Moxxie nods. “Okay…”
He leaves to get her the water.
And Millie sighs once she's alone again.
It was hard to accept. But she trusts Moxxie.
Sometimes trusting someone means not getting all the answers right away.
Even when it's killing you.
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'And I will hold
I'll hold onto you
No matter what this world'll throw
It won't shake me loose'
Cause I'm not givin' upI'm not givin' up,
No not yet
Even when I'm down to my last breath
Even when they say there's nothin' left
So don't give up on me
I'm not giving up,
No not me
Even when nobody else believes
I'm not goin' down that easily
So don't give up on me.'
Don't give up on me, Andy Grammer. {movie: Five feet apart.}
♡
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♡
Possum: One more chapter, one more chapter!! Then we get lotsa Moxxie fluff! Hang in there guys!!! Lol 😆
Hope you guys liked this chapter okay. It's not anything special, the next one will hopefully be better.
At least we know about Sallie now! What do you guys think of her being a regressor? Lmk.
♡
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@todayimfour @ask-dusty-boy @im-not-paying-my-taxes @abby5577
@thatswhat24 @stormy-is-hyperfixated @trophyxtissues2 @attagirljessy
@legeufygeuber100
#ittybittyimps#father knows best#fkb ittybittyimps#father knows best IBI#little!Moxxie#age regressor Moxxie#age regressor Sallie May
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Hello, sorry for the trouble. I have a question about void, I saw several posts about void, so I have questions
1. Is the void real, because some channels say that the void is supposedly us and it doesn’t have the power to manifest all our desires after we leave it?
2. I have such a desire that the man who lives with my mother, my stepfather, so to speak, would simply disappear after I made a wish in the void, so I woke up and went to my mother and asked where he was and she said like who is he? Like a revision or what? Is this real or not?
3. And change my appearance, but so that people remember me with the desired appearance, this is possible since I just enter the void and not them, how can I erase their memory, even change grades on the school website, it’s like if the teachers gave such grades
In general, I have these slightly strange questions, but what are they?
Thank you 🙏🏻
Heya!
Hmm...Lemme answer this with the perspective of Non-Dualism.
Tbh nothing is real, nothing is as it seems. It's all a dream that you made. But if you wanna 'manifest' from void then....Yes, void is 1000% real. But it's not what you think of. Void is just a fancy name of a state that exists because of you. It exists because you give it your awareness just like Everything around you exists because of you. I'd rather call it non dual state.
How would you react, or think if you knew that you are in a dream rn?
And void is just an another part of this dream. The only Absolute Reality is YOUR Existence. Not this human character.
If you were in a lucid dream, would you be worried about such questions? Isn't is obvious in a dream that ANYTHING is possible?
You are the Only Reality. You choose. You decide. You create.
You are permanent.
What's temporary? This dream. Everything you see around you, You gave it existence in this dream.
Nothing actually exists. Just like When you wake up from a dream, you realise nothing of it ever actually happened.
Soo to answer your question, Yes EVERYTHING is possible. Whatever you can think of. Also read my posts mentioned below:
PS:- i am not a void or loa blogger,
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Came here from your in universe tweets posts and have just realised you're also Irish.
What are your thoughts on Kevin Day seeming so American through and through? I personally wish Nora had given him an accent or something seeing as he was raised by his Irish single mam. Like I kinda wish there had been some cultural differences there even if it was done badly.
However I think Nora was very on point with the fact that if somebody was going to make a very violent stickball sport it would be an Irish person.
I don't know anybody IRL who's read aftg and I would love to hear somebody else's thoughts on Kevin's Irish heritage lol
I wrote these silly little hcs about Kevin’s childhood in Ireland but a lot of that is kind of dependent on Kevin having had more of a childhood in Ireland (which I don’t think happened but I haven’t got a clue what the timeline of Kayleigh being in Ireland to Kevin being born is tbh)
Personally I wish Kev was a little more Irish and I also think the Irish mammy thing would’ve had a HUGE influence on him (again depending how old he was when she died). She would’ve been his best friend if he’d grown up with her. Also the internalising of his problems is VERY typical of an Irish man but I’d like to imagine Kayleigh tried to break the cycle of that mentality in sons/first born sons and it was destroyed by the Moriyama’s.
Things I would maybe like Kevin to have/do:
- just a little bit of an accent. On certain words, or if he’s drunk or tired, or if he’s speaking with an Irish person, his accent QUADRUPLES in intensity.
- burns in the sun SO EASILY but also wears shorts when it’s barely even hot at all
- he drinks tea when it’s cold because it’s comforting and it reminds him of his mam. It’s the one indulgence he allows himself because she took her tea sweet so he heaps two teaspoons in when he feels like he needs a hug
- I’ve mentioned it before somewhere but I believe that Kayleigh was from the west, from a gaeltacht area and spoke fluent Irish, and raised Kevin to be bilingual until she passed, and he never continued and honestly probably forgot it. He remembers little words here and there but really not much at all.
- right after he graduates he spends an entire summer in Ireland before he starts with his pro team. It’s a silly decision for his exy career really because he could use all of the professional practice he can get, but he needs it. He goes back to Ireland and visits all of these places he doesn’t remember, the places where Kayleigh grew up and took kev when he was a baby. Maybe his grandparents are still alive, and his grandfather plays hurling with him, and they speak to him in Irish, and he spends the summer learning and just relaxing and reconnecting with his roots. Maybe his grandmother has a box of Kayleigh’s old things and for the first time in his life he holds something belonging to his mam other than his letter. Her jersey with her original IRE National Court number on it from the Olympics just a few years before she died, and some photos he’d never seen before. I’d really love for him to just be able to know his mam better somehow. I feel like he deserves it!!!
(He comes back with the most obnoxious Irish American accent after that summer and he gets ROASTED for it. But he doesn’t care, because he feels so much closer to his mam having spent that much time at home)
I am CERTAIN that Kayleigh was inspired to create Exy by watching hurling. There’s no way she wasn’t. Exy is the bastard sport of lacrosse, hockey AND hurling.
#maybe he joins a local hurling team for a couple of months#idk! Irish person thoughts! that will probably not translate to a wider audience#but I’m so passionate about kevs roots#also I can’t believe there’s another Irish person alive who’s read AFTG#where have you been
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eternal sunshine - jonathan crane x reader
masterlist
note: vaguely follows the plot of eternal sunshine of the spotless mind but mainly the music video for we cant be friends (wait for your love) by ariana grande. yay got my 4th fic inspired by eternal sunshine (the album) out hehe.
summary: after you leave the love of your life, you find it almost impossible to let him go. however, there's a new medical procedure that can be done to erase ones memories of a person permanently. out of pain and suffering, you make the conscious choice to forget about jonathan, even if it breaks your heart to let go of all the good memories along with the bad.
word count: 6k (um, i wrote this all today in one sitting lol am i okay?)
warnings: angst, breakups, loving relationship turned toxic, jonathan being secretive about his alter ego lol, letting go of love
with shaky breaths and trembling hands, you looked at the waiver in front of you that was clipped to the clipboard. bringing the pen down to the bottom of the paper, you hesitated for a moment. all you had to do was sign your name - and it would be done, all your memories of him gone, just like that.
for just a moment, you shut your eyes as tears threatened to fall once more, but you open them and swiftly drag the pen across the black line on the paper, signing your name.
"i'm done filling out the form." you say to the receptionist, who was sitting behind the front desk typing away aimlessly.
"perfect," she says, not looking away from her computer, "just leave it here and i'll hand it to dr. davis when he calls you in."
you nod, putting the clipboard on the front desk and go right back to sitting down in the chair of the waiting room, fidgeting with your hands nervously.
you were currently sitting in the office of "brighter days inc." they'd created a new medical advancement through technology which allowed people to have their memories wiped for whatever reason they pleased. traumatic event? consider it gone. shitty year? forget about it. awful, heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, and brutally painful breakup? gone.
i mean, that's why you were here after all - to forget your breakup with your ex-boyfriend, jonathan crane. it was destined to end from the beginning, it would have never worked out but you endlessly hoped that it did. it didn't, obviously, but that made it all the more painful and hard to forget.
you and jonathan were together for nearly four years before things ended, and ended badly at that. no, there was no screaming arguments or slamming of doors as one walked out on the other at the end of your relationship, quite the opposite, actually. the end of your time together was gut-wrenchingly painful, it was gentle and full of what could've been. it was mutually agreed upon, but you wished it wasn't. everyday you wished you could turn back time with the snap of your fingers.
because you'd do anything to forget him.
you'd broken up a few months ago, but time didn't heal you. if anything, time made it worse as it gave you, well, time, to let it all sink in. everyday things got harder, memories became more vivid, and you felt like the fragments of the fantasy of what could've been were haunting you daily.
your name being called snapped you out of your anxious thoughts, and you look up to see an older man, who appeared to be a doctor, standing in the doorway with your clipboard in hand. this must've been the renown doctor jason davis.
"we're ready for you," he said, skimming through the papers, "this way, please."
getting up, you followed him into a clinical looking room, and single chair stood in the centre of it. dr. davis directed you to the chair, and you sat down a little awkwardly, unsure of what to do.
"just relax," he says softly, his clinical team setting various machines up around you, "you're in great hands, don't worry."
you take a deep breath in, and try your best to calm yourself down. it was suddenly getting a little harder to breathe, but that was just nerves, right?
"are these all the items?" a nurse asked you, to which you nod. "that should be every single one, yeah." you tell her, and she starts to unpack the big, cardboard box you'd brought in a week prior.
you see, to have your memories completely and utterly erased of a certain person, you had to bring in all the objects you owned that associated the memory of them to you. whether it was clutter, jewelry, knick-knacks - anything that was associated with the person - it had to be brought with you.
peeking at the box, the artifacts that lay inside caused your heart to break a little. but, that was soon going to be in the past and you'd finally be able to just let go.
while one nurse was fumbling around with some wires and iv fluid bags, another was taking your hand softly and clipping a pulse oximeter to it so that they could monitor your heart rate. she noticed your trembling hands and looked at you with sympathy, "i know," she said softly, "you're going to be okay."
you look away from her with teary eyes as dr. davis and his team completed setting up the room. after everything was prepared, dr. davis turned to you.
"alright, we're all set up," he explained, "the process of erasing your memories should take no more than about thirty minutes, since you have a lot of memories to go through."
he grabbed two little sticky pads, and stuck them to the side of your temples. a faint beeping sound could be heard in the background. "okay, i'm going to need you to lay back for me." he instructed, and you did as you were told. as you laid back, a nurse got an iv started on you, but you didn't care as your anxiety was fuelling you.
"how are you feeling?" dr. davis asked.
"i-i think i'm okay, just a little nervous." you replied with a shaky voice, and he nods as he listens to you.
"and that's completely normal. we're going to start the process of erasing your memories now. remember - deep breaths." he says softly, and you feel an aching pain in your forehead. closing your eyes, you deep breathe to try and focus on your breathes instead of the headache as a bright light flashed before you.
you open your eyes to see you were in a small, quaint, restaurant with ambient lighting. the smell of your favourite pasta passes through your senses, and you take a look around - it seemed that you were somehow revisiting old memories inside your own mind. you glance at the other people dining in the restaurant, but nobody seems to notice you nor do they see you. that makes sense, you thought, this is sort of like a dream.
walking around the room, your eyes land on yourself. yes, you saw yourself. you saw yourself laughing and giggling at a table for two, with none other than jonathan sitting across from you. the both of you were smiling and laughing, a bottle of wine in an ice bucket sat on the table.
you felt your emotions start flooding back, and you had to bite down on your lip to stop yourself from crying again. the two of you looked so happy. if only you could have that back for just a split second once more.
walking over in the direction of the table, you sit at an empty booth that was directly beside it. you watch intently, the memories and traces of your old life playing out in front of your eyes. you'd remembered this particular date, as it was a hard one to forget; it was jonathan's first date with you.
you watched as he took your hand in his, and laughed with you about some stupid joke you made, the two of you sharing your favourite white wine over dinner. even though your heart was shattering in this very moment, you smiled through the pain. you smiled at the thought of once being this happy with him. you kept having to remind yourself that this was the past - it wasn't real anymore, and soon, it would be forever lost.
"i feel like i've known you for a lifetime." the old version of you drunkenly giggled, and jonathan laughed along. "i feel the same way." he told you, and you could see the way your eyes used to light up when he spoke to you.
you watched as the two of you talked as if you were old friends, and eventually jonathan had paid the bill, the both of you getting ready to leave. you knew what came next - your first kiss together. it happened when the two of you left the restaurant, as you were wrapped up in his jacket because it was cold out, and eventually, he pulled you into a soft kiss.
following the two people out, you walk down the road for a few seconds with them, until they both stop. the old version of yourself looks at him with confusion, and...it never came - the kiss never came. you look at yourself and jonathan, confusion washing over you. suddenly, within a blink of an eye, he was gone - but you still stood there and someone else was by your side.
"god, it's so cold out!" you say, and instead of jonathan standing by you, it was your best friend.
"i know, but i had so much fun catching up with you over dinner and wine!" your best friend says to you as she hails down a cab. "we have to do this again soon! i hate that our work schedules never align anymore."
the old version of you agrees as your best friends waves goodbye to you and gets into her cab. you watch yourself scroll through your phone outside the restaurant, seemingly ordering an uber, which arrives shortly.
before you could do anything else, your vision fades into darkness.
"hey," a voice echoes, "hey, are you okay?"
fluttering your eyes open, you see a nurse looking down at you. you blink a few times as your eyes adjust to where you were, and you realize your back in the clinical room.
"are you feeling okay?" the nurse asked you softly once more, and you nod.
"yeah, i just feel a little foggy." you respond.
"that's normal, let me know if you feel any sudden dizziness or vertigo, anything like that." she informs you as she rummaged through the old box of things you brought.
she takes something out of the box, and holds it out in front of you. it was a wine red mini dress, and you take a good look at it. "do you remember where this is from?" she asks you, and you nod.
of course you remember! it was from that one time you went out to dinner with your best friend, and the two of you spent the entire night giggling and catching up.
"yeah, of course," you tell her confidently, "it's from the night me and my best friend caught up after weeks of not seeing each other, but now we see each other weekly." you told the nurse with pride, as you adored your best friend dearly.
"and you don't remember..." she paused, taking a look at your file, "someone named jonathan crane being there with you?"
you shook your head no, as you didn't remember him being there. you tried to recollect the memory as best as you could, but jonathan definitely wasn't there - it was your best friend who spent that night with you, not jonathan.
now that you were thinking about it, you couldn't seem to remember how the two of you met, or the first date you'd gone on with each other. perhaps this whole memory wiping thing was as good as they say.
"okay, good." the nurse says, and she turns to doctor davis, who throws the dress into a large plastic bag. "we've successfully altered the memory in her mind." she tells dr. davis, who hums in acknowledgement.
what memory? you wondered. the only memory you had of that night was with your best friend, why on earth would jonathan be there? the same nurse came over to your side again, and instructed you to lay back down instead of sitting up, and you did as you were told. the same bright light consumed your vision as you closed your eyes and took in a few more deep breaths.
you opened your eyes, and suddenly you were standing in you and jonathans old shared apartment, and there were birthday decorations everywhere. the dining table had a huge bouquet of red roses on it, and there were bags from all your favourite designer stores littered around the room.
you instantly recognized this memory - it was your birthday. the last birthday you'd spend with jonathan, actually. you heard your own laughter coming from the kitchen, and you made your way into there. the sight was overwhelming, triggering you as you watched yourself laugh while jonathan held you from behind, kissing down your neck as you held a bowl of cake better in your hands.
"jonathan, stop!" you squealed, laughter erupting from the both of you, "you're going to get the cake batter everywhere!"
"i don't care, i just need you that badly." he laughs softly, turning you around pulling you into a deep kiss. you place the bowl of cake batter down and wrap your arms around his neck.
he pulls away and you smile lovingly at him, "happy birthday, darling. i love you." he says, and you could see how happy you looked. god, you were so in love him, and that never changed. not even now.
"i love you too, honey." you said back to him, and as you watched the old version of yourself live in the now dead memories, you choked back a sob.
"i'm going to spoil you every birthday," he tells you, "get you everything you want. anything for my beautiful girl."
"jonathan, please-" you start to say, but he cuts you off.
"no, i mean it, darling. i've been working lots recently, and i know you hate it when we spend time apart because of my job. i want to make it up to you in every way possible, i don't know where i'd be without you." he says to you softly, kissing you once more.
you remembered when he said that to you - back when he was still the same man you'd fallen in love with. you blamed his work, amongst other, things for the way things ended between you and him. within the last year of your relationship, he had started to work progressively later every night, and at first it was just thirty minutes to an hour late. slowly, it became two hours, then three, then it would become overnight. sometimes, you wouldn't even see him for days.
you'd call, text, spam his phone but he'd never answer. you didn't know what he was doing, but he'd never tell you. he couldn't tell you that you were falling for only one half of him, and that his other half was so evil and so ugly. he couldn't bring himself to tell you that he was the scarecrow, terrorizing all of gotham and fear-gassing the innocent civillians of the city.
you still remembered the day you confronted him about it; the day it all came crashing down and everything came to a halt.
you sighed, walking right out of the kitchen to process everything as you were getting overwhelmed with your own emotions. you could hear laughter, both yours and his, from the kitchen, but it suddenly went quiet. too quiet.
curiously, you walked back into the kitchen, but on your way there, you noticed that the luxurious gifts were gone. the roses were still there, but everything else disappeared. you looked at the shelves on the walls and on top of the fire place, and the framed photos of you and jonathan were different - changed. no longer was jonathan in the photos, but instead, your friends and family.
making your way back into the kitchen, you heard giggling again, but it just from you - no trace of jonathan. looking at yourself, you still had the bowl of cake batter in your hands, and some even got on your face, but now instead of giggling with jonathan, you were giggling with your dog who was barking at you and wagging it's tail.
your dog leaped against your leg, pawing at you, wanting you to pet it more, but you laughed and shook your head at the little dachshund. "you're going to make me spill the cake batter!" you giggled at the adorable puppy.
the sight made you smile, and you felt excited to return home to your dog after your memory wiping was done today. you'd gotten him right before you started college, and he'd been your fur baby since. smiling, you let out a content sigh, and your vision faded out to darkness once more.
as you opened your eyes, you heard the beeping of a heart monitor faintly. you looked to your left to see dr. davis standing and reading over your file in his hands, but he noticed you had awoken.
"ah, hello," he said cheerily, "are you alright?"
"m'fine, i feel okay." you say to him, and he smiles. "great, i've got some questions for you." he says to you.
a nurse hands him something from the box, and he holds up a framed photo of you and your dog with a birthday cake that had candles on it in the background. "what do you remember about this picture?" he asks, and you smile.
"that was my most recent birthday," you explained, "i remember going out with my friends during the night, but for the earlier hours of the day leading up to it, i baked a cake for fun and spent time with my dog. my friends came over to get ready at mine with me, and they took the photo."
"excellent," dr. davis said with a smile, "and what do you remember about jonathan crane now?"
"he...was my boyfriend. i-i don't remember how we met or...much about him, but my heart hurts when i think of him." you say quietly, and he nods.
"that'll stop soon, just lay back again and focus on deep breathing." he explained, and you repeated the same actions - closing your eyes, you took in a deep breath, and the white light welcomed you back once more.
"where have you been?!" your voice echoed, and you open your eyes to see yourself with a distraught expression, and jonathan looking at you with an irritated expression - he looked exhausted.
the two of you were in your living room having one of the worst fights of your relationship - now this was a painful memory you'd like to forget.
"you're acting crazy, you know that?" he scoffed at you, and you watched yourself break down in tears as he silently watched.
this was the night you had confronted him about his frequent and long absences, you were just worried about him, that's all. however, jonathan did not take to this nicely. he immediately got defensive, and he started yelling at you about how he felt you were accusing him of things, and he made you feel like you were crazy.
"i'm crazy?" you exasperated, "i'm crazy? you're the one who's gone for days at a time, no call, no texts, no nothing!"
"what do you want me to do, huh? i have work to do. i'm so sorry that i'm working to support us both and pay for your college tuition." he sneered, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"i never asked you to," you sob, "i told you i could get a loan or work - i told you!"
"you- this is exactly why i avoid coming home." he says coldly, and you watched yourself go silent, tears streaming down your face.
"what?" you whisper, and he scoffs.
"don't act all surprised," he says to you, "you can't expect me to want to come home to my overbearing, psychotic, crazy girlfriend after a hard day of work."
you still remember the way he made you feel when he said those words - insignificant, useless, and crazy. perhaps he was right, maybe you were too much, too emotional and unpredictable. however, as you watched yourself argue with him, you knew that wasn't true. you were never the problem; in fact, you gave him everything - all your love, and in return, he left you empty after you spent years building a life with him.
that was the moment you knew that the so called "love" between you and him was long gone, and now it was replaced with something much uglier - something hateful. you knew there was no going back after he had said that to you, and you knew he could see the pain he had caused you. as you looked over at jonathan, you saw that he looked like he was filled with regret.
unfortunately for jonathan, feeling regretful didn't take away any of the pain and the damage he had caused with his words - with his actions. the room was silent and you watched the two of you stare at each other, but this time you didn't feel the urge to cry; perhaps because this was when the pin dropped for you that even though you had countless loving, happy memories with him, the destructive, dark memories would always overshadow the sunny ones.
in this very moment, you remembered giving up - clocking out emotionally. you both knew that you couldn't change him; he was a man too stubborn for his own good. the echoes of your love and laughter could be heard faintly in the background, but the scene in front of you brought you back to reality. this was the reality, not the false memories you had convinced yourself were so real.
he sighed finally, and spoke softly as you sat and watched both him and the old version of yourself stare at each other. "i'm sorry," he explained, "that was wrong - that was a lie, i didn't mean-"
"we both know i can't change you, jonathan." you whisper, cutting him off, and he looks at you with a scoff.
"what the hell that does mean?" he says - there he went again, with his belittling.
"you know what it means," you tell him, "it means this will never work because i keep growing, changing for the better without you. you're still the same, you won't better yourself for us when i've given everything to make this work."
he started at you silently, listening to your words as he let them sink in. "maybe you're right," he says after a few moments of silence, "i don't think this is working anymore."
"i love you." you whisper, and he walked up to you with a sigh, wrapping you in his arms as you cried. "i love you, too." he says softly, kissing the top of your head, but you took in a sharp breathe before speaking and clutching onto the diamond necklace around your neck, the one that he'd gotten you years ago.
"and because i love you so much, i have to let you go."
you sighed at your owns words, as it was the truth, but soon a voice from beside you on the couch startled you. as you looked to the right of yourself, a good friend of yours sat there.
"wow," she says, "that's deep."
confused, you looked back at yourself and noticed jonathan was now gone. instead, it was just your dog and your friend there with you, and you appeared to be holding a poetry book in your hands - no tears, no obvious exhaustion; just a smile on your pretty face.
"right?" you say to her, "you should totally read this book, it has some really good poems in it. that one was sad though, and i don't know if that's like, your style, but i'd highly recommend it." you plop down on the couch beside her, and your dog jumps up to join the two of you, cuddling you on your lap.
you were jolted awake, breathing heavily, and you open your eyes in a panic. for a moment, it had felt like you were drowning. a nurse rushes over to your side immediately, and dr. davis peers at you from over his shoulder.
"breathe," the nurse says softly, "it's okay- you're okay. deep breathes, hun."
you nod anxiously, and do as your told. you try to remember what you had just seen, but it wasn't coming back to you - all you could remember was reading some sappy poetry to your friend while cuddling your dog. you weren't sure why the thought of that made your chest tight, but it did. the more you thought about the now altered memory (not that you could remember it was altered), the more it brought you a strange sense comfort.
things were different, unbeknownst to you, and that was comforting. the nurse held a small, diamond necklace up to you. it was gorgeous and it had a sparkling rock that shone brightly under the light. "do you remember this?" she asks softly, and you nod.
"yeah, someone gave it to me but i don't remember..." you trailed off, and you felt the sudden urge to cry. the tears silently streamed down your cheeks, and the nurse soothingly ran her hand up and down your back, trying her best to calm you down.
"hey, you're okay, you're going to be okay." she says to you soothingly, and you take deep breaths in and out.
"i-i still remember," you sob, "i still remember him, please-" you start to cry uncontrollably, and the nurse ushers dr. davis over, and he calls your name out softly.
"it's a lot, i know. deep breaths, just keep breathing. you're doing great." he reminded you, to which you nod - but you weren't listening. the way the memories played over and over like a broken record in your mind was unbearable - how could it be that you were wiping your memories and yet you still couldn't fully forget him?
well, maybe you didn't really want to forget him. perhaps, you just wanted to erase all the rainy days that dampened your relationship and keep only the bright, happy ones so that you could remember what it was like; but now it was too late.
you could only remember fragments of him, but that was still enough to break your heart all over again. sure, you'd forgotten a majority of who he was, but isn't that the most painful part? knowing that erasing all the bad will also erase all the good - all the love you had for each other.
one of the nurses took the last item out of the box - a plush, light brown teddy bear with a bow adorning the top of it's right ear. as soon as you saw it, you started to breakdown in the chair - it was too painful for you. the nurse brought the teddy over to you, and you clung onto it tightly.
"not this one, please," you sobbed, "i-i can't, please, i don't want to get rid of this memory."
your heart was being minced at the thought of doing so - but it was the last piece of the puzzle that was you and jonathan crane. it just happened to be the most important memory to you. this was the teddy he gave to you when he told you that he loved you for the first time. he'd gifted it along with with that gorgeous, tiffany diamond necklace for your three-month anniversary. the gesture was huge, and you still remember the way it made you feel.
"you have to let go," the nurse urged you, "you have to."
"i don't want to let him go, i-i can't-" you choked back another sob, "it hurts so much."
but before you could protest any longer, the white light flashed before you again.
this was the last major memory you had of him.
you opened your eyes to see jonathan standing with a small, blue tiffany bag, roses, and the same teddy bear in his hands while you looked up at him, happy tears glistening in your eyes. as you watched yourself from a distance, you shook your head and cried - no, sobbed, as you observed the scene unfolding in front of you.
if you forgot this memory, you'd forget him completely. there would be no you and him - just you and the echoes of a past you didn't know existed anymore.
"i love you, my darling." he said softly, putting the various gifts down on the dining table as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly with the intention of never letting you go.
"i love you more, jonathan." you whisper, letting him hold you close - feeling like time had stopped and it was just the two of you.
ah, young love. if only you could have this for just one more minute and turn back the hands of time.
you sobbed, watching the way you two used to be before everything went up in flames, and you could've sworn you heard your heart shattering like fragile glass in the stillness.
"please," you whispered to yourself, tears overflowing, "i hope you never forget me."
you weren't sure why you'd said that - it's not like he could hear you. maybe you said it for your own comfort, to try and convince yourself that he cared about you at some point, and maybe, just maybe - he even loved you back then, too.
well, jonathan did love you, even if now you doubted he ever did, he definitely did. he loved you with his whole heart, and it crushed him to let you go. it ruined him to watch you walk away from what you two used to have, and if he could go back in time, he'd change it all -because fate betrayed the two of you. it was supposed to be you and him for life, he thought you two were endgame.
as you closed your eyes to wipe your tears away, you opened them to see a different picture painted in front of you. of course, jonathan was now gone, and it was just you. alone. you stood there in your now lifeless apartment, all memories of jonathan and you together seizing to exist, but you looked happy.
the blue, tiffany bag was gone, and so were the roses - but the teddy bear was still there. you watch yourself hold onto the little, plush bear and call someone on your phone.
"hey, sorry for calling out of the blue," you said to someone on the other line, "but thanks for the teddy bear, dad. it reminds me of my childhood."
and now you felt like crying...again. you looked happy, and weirdly enough, you looked younger and less stressed. you appeared to be much healthier, glowing even. as you caught a glimpse of the new you, you sighed, the darkness consuming you once again.
"you're all done." dr. davis's voice woke you up, and you opened your eyes feeling extremely groggy and hazy.
"huh?" you slur, confused and now a little dizzy, "i feel dizzy."
"okay, lay back and stay still for a moment," he instructed, "d'you need some water?"
"no," you say, yawning, "i want to go home."
the nurses and dr. davis all chuckled at that, and he nodded. "you're best friend is in the waiting room, she's driving you home. do you feel well enough to walk there or do you want another few minutes to rest?"
"i can walk." you say sleepily, and a nurse helps you up and escorts you back to the waiting room, where you see your best friend waiting for you with a smile.
"there she is!" she says cheerfully, "c'mon, let's get you home."
she helps you into her car, and laughs at how drowsy you looked. the drive home was uneventful - you sort of fell asleep for the majority of the ride, but once you were home, you thanked her as she helped you into bed.
"you have to rest," she giggled, "you look so funny. you look so hungover right now."
"stooooooop." you groan with a smile, and she laughs while tucking you into bed.
"how do you feel?" she asks, raising a brow, and the question makes you groan again.
"like shit," you huff, "i feel really hungover, no joke."
"do you remember what you did today?" she asks, and you shake your head.
"um, a doctors appointment or something, right? didn't i get surgery or something?" you ask groggily, and she nods.
"yeah..." she says softly, "something like that."
as soon as she left, you dozed off peacefully. you didn't dream of anything that night, but you swore you'd never had a better sleep in your life. the next morning, you woke up feeling refreshed despite barely remembering the day before.
getting up, you shower and got yourself ready for the day. you did your hair nicely as well as your makeup, and threw on a cute outfit. it was a gorgeous, summer day, and all you were craving right now was an iced coffee from your favourite place.
grabbing your purse and leashing up your puppy, you stroll out of the house with your dog by your side and enjoy the sun. you suddenly felt at ease for some reason, but you weren't too sure why. it almost felt like all of your stress had melted away during last nights sleep. you didn't question it - maybe you really had just slept all your stresses away.
walking quietly with your dog, you reached your favourite cafe. it was a pet-friendly cafe (which is another reason why you loved it, duh), and you got your iced coffee. you scrolled through your phone while waiting, and went through your emails and messages. taking your iced coffee from the barista, you left the cafe as your pup trailed behind you.
once you got home, you cooked up some breakfast and cuddled your dog on the couch. you put on a new netflix series and enjoyed your quiet, peaceful morning. after breakfast, you ran some errands as you were low or fully out of a bunch of different groceries you usually kept stocked up, and as far as the day went - it was quiet but lovely. something about it felt different, perhaps you just weren't used to a day where everything felt so stress free.
sure, you worked a part time job and you attended college too, but those were just things you were obligated to do. in your free time, you had amazing friends, a wonderful family, your dog, and...that was all. as you were winding down for the evening, your dog sat across from you on the couch, dozing off peacefully, but you heard your phone start to ring.
your dog woke up, barking from the sudden noise, but you hushed your pup and went to go answer your phone. it was only around six pm, so you'd figured that perhaps one of your friends was calling since you told everyone you were getting some sort of medical treatment done.
however, when you looked at the caller display, the name read: J. CRANE.
you furrowed your brows for a moment, unsure as to who that was and why they were calling you, but you pick up anyways.
"hello?" you answer, holding the phone up to your ear.
the person on the other end says your name almost breathlessly, "i-i didn't think you'd answer. i'm sorry for calling randomly, but-" the man pauses, and you don't say anything. his voice sounded so familiar but you couldn't recognize it fully. "i'm sorry. i was hoping we could talk."
"...who is this?" you ask softly as you glance at the photo framed above your fireplace. the photo was of you and your dog on your birthday last year, but for some reason it just...reminded you of this unknown caller in the strangest way - you weren't even sure why.
"what?" he says after a moment, "it's jonathan."
"jonathan?" you ask.
"jonathan crane." he replies, and you stayed quiet for a monent. your chest felt strangely tight, but again, you didn't know why. you just figured it was some random, wrong number caller - but if it was a wrong number, how would they have known your name?
"i'm sorry," you say with a sigh, your hands trembling slightly, "i think you have the wrong number."
and with that, you hung up and tossed your phone off to the side of your couch, and an odd feeling of deja-vu washed over you as you look outside of your living room window. so close and yet so far, so uncomfortable but so comforting at the same time.
you and him were just two people who's shadows stood in a parallel plane, two different endings to the same heartbreaking story.
taglist (join here!): @ellebelleshelby, @the-buddy-things, @ilovetoxicfictionalmen, @ll4n4
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#cillian murphy#cillian murphy x reader#cillian x reader#cillian murphy fanfic#cillian murphy imagine#cillian fic#cillian x fem!reader#jonathan crane x reader#jonathan crane x f!reader#dr jonathan crane#jonathan crane smut#jonathan crane x you#jonathan crane fanfic#jonathan crane x female reader#jonathan crane x y/n#jonathan crane#jonathan crane x fem!reader#jonathan crane angst#jonathan crane fluff#Spotify
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Rob-a-bye Baby
Finally some focus on Chief Vick! Kirsten nelson did a great job on the first real ep where she gets to play a more substantial role. (“Head detective my ass” always makes me chuckle) i only wish it had been more. She was more of an obstacle than part of the plot, though i guess technically her character kind of grew at the end. She does admit she was overreacting with Shawn but this realization was done off screen. I’d have loved to see her try to run over her husband, and having a little breakdown. Something that gave her more depth. I want to know who she is as a person. Was she a runner who wanted to get back into it so she can finally have some time for herself? Does she struggle with who she wants to be as a mother? Was the baby even planned? Was she concerned it would affect her job, or her ability to do her job? Idk, just something that added a bit more color to her character tapestry. I think theres a lot to explore here is all.
Perhaps im biased, but i feel like Shawns reaction is a bit out of character. Like yeah, he’d find it a boring assignment but i also think he’d understand how important it is to the Chief and take it seriously. Plus, Gus is right, she gives them cases, it’s pretty important for their business that they remain on her good side. And in the end he didn’t help her at all. The nephew just came back and that was the resolution. i think i would’ve preferred if Shawn had been struggling to find them too. Like every nanny he came across he could find something wrong with them because Chief Vick deserves the best. Or he had a nanny picked out all along, she just couldn’t start right away but he somehow needed the excuse to look into the nanny burglary ring? Idk. I guess its not really that big a deal. Perhaps it was to introduce a flaw in Shawns character. Like they were saying he needs the thrills to make the job worthwhile. Which is fine, i think that aligns with his overall character. In fact, i wouldn’t be surprised if he fucked somethings up later just to bump up the challenge for shits and giggles (which is such a weird phrase btw). I just think in this one specific case, he would have handled it with a bit more care.
Gus’s blimp dance! He’s so excited! After the last ep, i just want him to be happy
I just wanted to point out the lady who plays ada was in a movie called Wolfcop. Theres an actual movie called Wolfcop.
Chief Vick’s power pose is so strong, it possesses her when she sleeps haha
Did she just spit her pastry out on the ground??
This always makes me chuckle because, like, why? Why would they have them go down those hill lol
I think this is another case of Juliet getting way too into undercover work. I don’t think thats any of her actual wedding or birth plans even if the show made it look like such.
Im so confused why they were at a pet store instead of a pawn shop. What did that guy sell to him? How did the pet shop guy know it was stolen? Unrelated, but it was a nice touch that Shawn immediately spoke in a way the pet shop guy understood, even if it was just for the haha’s.
Gus’s nickname Schmuel Cohen is a real dude! Why does Shawn have the name of the composer of the Israeli national anthem locked and loaded?? The guy died in 1940. When/ how would he know that???
Awww poor Tim!
Juliet agreeing pivots and divots is fun to say lol
I wish they could have expanded on Nanny Henry! Like he was going to refuse to keep helping out but Chief Vick broke out her mommy voice and also kind of pleaded with him for help. Then we could have gotten some scenes of them, maybe talking about the past, or Henry asking her to look out for Shawn since he doesn’t have the police as part of his squad and therefore no backup, which Chief Vick explains that he’s practically a member anyways and would be treated as such, not only because of who his dad is but because he’s practically one of her own anyways, so of course she has his back.
#It would be pretty fucking bold to rob a house right next to the chief of polices house#psych tv#psych usa#psych#psych rewatch#shawn spencer#burton guster#shawn and gus#james roday rodriguez#james roday#dulé hill#dule hill#timothy omundson#maggie lawson#carlton lassiter#juliet o'hara#chief vick#kirsten nelson
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Since yall keep WILDLY misinterpreting my Murder Drones Post
My problem isn’t that the female characters are nuanced, flawed, and complex.
Also i am viewing this from a writing viewpoint and not a character analysis viewpoint, since i’m a writer. That means i will be looking at how the characters are portrayed and played out vs how their arcs go and how they change over time.
My problem is that in terms of concept and personality, they’re all nearly identical to each other which is a massive shame.
All the female characters are snarky, sassy, and mean. I don’t care if they all have a reason to be, at a certain point it becomes redundant.
this is especially obvious compared to the two guy characters we have. Khan and N do have some things in common, but are very different in terms of personality and concept. Both have guilt over their actions in the past, yet they go about it in different ways. N has a hard time asserting himself and tries to make everyone happy, while Khan does his best to carry out his wife’s last wishes while taking care of his daughter despite the fact that he can be a massive coward.
Yet the girls all respond to very different events in nearly identical ways. Uzi, J, V, and Doll respond with the same hostility and snark. J, Adult Tessa/Cyn and Doll all become manipulative and hide their true intentions. They all have identical flaws too, that being impulsiveness, anger issues, trust issues, etc. It’s very hard to get interested in characters when they all act the same and thus have similar arcs.
Also for those of y’all who brought up Lizzy, sorry i forgot about her, but she acts like Uzi if Uzi didn’t have the solver. Another snarky sassy female character.
TBH this really sucks because outside of the copy paste personalities, these characters are really good. Doll was my favorite villain and i found Uzi to be a fun protagonist with an interesting concept. The reveal of Cyn using Tessa’s skin made my. jaw drop. Unfortunately it’s hard to ignore how samey all the female characters are vs the male characters. It’s such a jarring contrast.
While it’s okay for a lot of characters to have some things in common (once again, N and Khan) having most of your characters, especially your female characters, exhibit the exact same personality and flaws leads to them bleeding together rather than standing out in a story.
lowkey kinda sexist that it’s just the female characters that this happens to lol
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I'M ALIVE (BARELY) !! Work is kicking my ass. Also, lots of things went wrong for me this morning, but they all worked out in the end ?? Like I forgot to set my alarm, had to bring my mom's phone to her job bc she forgot it, my bus ended up running late because the doors would get stuck at stops. But I woke up on time, caught the bus after taking the phone, and made it early to work because the bus forgot to take the detour? My luck is insane (thanks Mammon.)
ANYWAY, i can no longer contain my thoughts about Mammon x Solomon x Mc. I'm just imagining my mc and Solomon who are both very curious, and love messing around with potions at purgatory hall, and finding alternatives to rare ingredients. This has definitely gone wrong a bunch of times (most days without a potion incident: 4)
and I'm imagining Mammon tagging along bc he misses mc and is jealous that Sol is taking up their time, but denies all claims - "I'm assigned to protect ya, ain't I?" "From Solomon?" "W-Well, he's a shady sorcerer!"
He sits on the floor by mc's feet, and will fetch them things because he can't say no to them. But he spends so much time listening to them brainstorm, he starts learning and will chime in randomly. Mc and Sol who are stuck on what to add, Mammon drops something in there, and they're both horrified until they realize the potion is perfect now. He just has a little database in his mind of what to add to something, and rare ingredients that the two wish they could get their hands on.
Thinking about Mammon doing a favor for a witch and she tells him to pick anything in her collection since she's low on money. He was about to be angry when he saw an ingredient that they've both been complaining is rare and hard to find. He asks the witch for that and then brings it to the two. He acts all nonchalant about it, trying to brush it off. Mc tackles him, meanwhile Solomon is in awe and staring with a twinkle in his eye.
Now Mammon starts requesting trades with witches, for a lower portion of grimm. Gets ingredients he knows they dream about, because the way mc and sol will get all giddy after he presents them with his earnings makes his stomach flip (he will never admit this)
"This is missing something" Solomon
"Yeah but I can't figure out what" MC
"Have you tried *insert seemingly common ingredient that doesn't work for most things*" Mammon
"But no one uses that, it's why we're always stuck with it" MC
"Couldn't hurt to try. See, watch." Mammon.
"WAIT, MAMMON DON'T- ... IT WORKED!?" Mc/Sol
----
"MAMMON HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS, IT ONLY BLOOMS ONCE EVERY 100 YEARS" mc
"Dunno, got it from a random witch. Said she didn't need it. *spent two hours haggling with said witch*"
"...am I in love?" Solomon, reevaluating life
"Eh? What are ya mumbling about? If you're gonna thank me, I want it loud and clear!"
my crack ship <3 they mean everything to me. I caved and hunted down the plushies of them on ebay too. ALSO I GOT TWO OF MY COMMISSIONS BACK AND I'M 😭 they're perfect !!! I'm so so happy with them. Literally the lock screen is beautiful bc it's me and mammon cuddling (HIS MUSCLES CC!! IM DYING) and it looks like it was taken by like asmo or something who walked in to wake us up.
i think I'm also a hopeless romantic, I'm just scared of confronting my feelings lol (you're right in that it is worth it, I just need to figure out how to be brave </3). I throw myself into romance books and fanfics. Vaguely related, thinking about coffee shop au with barista!Mammon and college student!Solomon.
OKAY SORRY IM DONE RAMBLING 😭 HAVE A GOOD DAYYYY
- ✨ anon
Wow that does sound like a crazy morning!! I'm glad it all worked out, though~ Mammon is totally watching out for you!
OKAY but all of that sounds exactly like Mammon! I mean, he's super smart, he just doesn't usually bother to apply himself to anything. So it totally makes sense that he'd just pick up things because he's spending time with MC and Solomon. And then of course he's gonna end up seeing rare ingredients and being like, okay yeah I'm taking that. That all sounds absolutely adorable~
I'm curious about whether or not Solomon and Mammon would make a pact in this situation? I mean, if it's both of them and your MC that are in the relationship, do you think they would? Do you think Solomon would move past his obsession with getting a pact with Lucifer and end up in one with Mammon instead?
I always felt like Solomon doesn't really get Mammon, you know? But that doesn't mean he can't learn. And oh man, Solomon is such a tease and Mammon is so not good at being teased lol. That idea is giving me so many entertaining images, I can't even handle it.
Anyway, I'm totally here for it! It sounds really cute~
I'm so glad you're happy with your comms!!! They sound amazing!
And don't worry, you'll figure it out. I don't know how old you are, but I suspect you have plenty of time! It's a balancing act, you know? It's important to be honest with yourself about your feelings without letting them control you. But it's easier to decide what to do about them if you know what they are. Anyway, not to get all philosophical over here lol. I think the key is to find someone you want to be brave for, you know?
AUGH I love coffee shop aus sooooooo much!!! I was very obsessed with the idea of barista!Mammon for a while, mostly because of a daily chat where he was working at a cafe and then got into a fight with customer. He's good at finances, so I think he could be pretty business minded if he wanted to be. So I was thinking about a situation where he owns his own cafe, but when the customers get rude with one of his fellow baristas, he gets into a fight with them lol. I hadn't really considered who that other barista was, but it could be MC.
Anyway, I could ramble about coffee shop aus all day because I love them aklsdlkfjdfjkl
I hope you have a lovely day/night, too!!
#starting to get on the SoloMams train over here#well I can ship any two characters#because I think everyone is compatible#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me mammon#obey me solomon#✨ anon#misc answers
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Today was a pretty fun day at work since there was nothing much to do so everyone was just mingling, having disagreements (my sis and I and others, well nvm, it almost got heated but we all calmed down), gossiping, and exchanging services. My coworker still wants to give me a brazilian, I’m scared 😭… she gave two of our other coworkers free brazilians today (this was one of their first times getting one and she said that she started speaking in tongues during the service and the coworker who was doing her service was like “ah, what language is that 🥺?” *RIPPING OUT COOCHIE AND BOOTY HOLE HAIR AGGRESSIVELY* 🥺?” (She’s Mexican lol. She’s so sweet tho) I kinda want to get one now just because everyone else was getting waxed 😭… just once at least…
#lol#glad my boss wasn’t being much of a bother today#we got our first male concierge today and it felt like my hand was about to be torn off of my arm after he shook my hand like bro 🗿!!!#strong ass handshake 🗣️🗣️🗣️#he seems sweet tho#he got a facial and pedicure today because of today being the last day that we’re having huge discounts after the holidays#my sis was impersonating our boss and as the other coworkers were laughing they didn’t give her a heads up about our boss walking up behind#her and hearing it lmfao#I wish I was there when she was doing it lol#she said our boss was like ‘well you can take over the meeting than ^^’#we always have morning and afternoon work meetings daily but they aren’t mandatory to attend really especially if you’ve already went to the#morning huddle but my boss likes to pretend like it’s mandatory anyway 🗿#girl…#rambling#coworker who my sis and I and other had to argue with earlier drove us and another coworker home today tho so it’s all good 🚶🏾♀️❤️#mutuals… virtually hold my hand while I’m getting my first Brazilian like I’m giving birth
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(random s5 finale musings) tbh I don't think Marinette chose to keep The Secrets™ from Adrien because Gabriel asked her to. I feel like Marinette keeping secrets like that is so consistent with her character; she hates giving people bad news, she hates rocking the boat, she hates upsetting people, she always chooses to keep any 'controversial' information to herself for as long as she can get away with (examples: bubbler scarf, telling Queen Bee she was benched, confessing to Adrien, warning Chat Noir about Scarabella or Rena Furtive, never told Chat Noir about Chat Blanc, etc) that I just totally believe she would've done it either way. She was even already having nightmares about Adrien hating her for finding out she defeated his father, so I feel like Gabriel's request was moreso giving her a go-ahead than it was a primary deciding factor, yknow?
#ml s5 spoilers#tbh half the time when thinking about it I forget that gabriel asked her to do it at all#because it just feels like such a Marinette™ thing to do to me lol#to be fair maybe I'm downplaying it? I do think Gabriel's plea struck some emotional chord with her too and helped push her that direction#but again I. totally believe she'd do it either way#and I do strongly believe that her decision is moreso ''I don't want to hurt Adrien'' than it is ''I want to honor Gabriel's final wish''#she loves to avoid verbal/emotional problems and hoooo boy idk a worse verbal/emotion problem than#telling your boyfriend that his entire life is a lie and that he's not entirely human and that he was abused and controlled and puppeteered#all his life and also that his father was a terrorist and that she saw his mom's corpse in the basement#I mean. I don't think I'd have the emotional maturity to break that to someone either and I'm not.... FOURTEEN.... LOL
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okok so i was having a Conversation and now i’m curious:
#bc i did once when i was like 13 and got my first razors and then my mom told me not to do i just never did again#and i kinda just assumed this is how all people lived bc it sucks and it grows back weird a prickly#but i was talking to my cousin and she was like “no everyone does do you ever really see arm hair on women#and like now that i think about it not really (or maybe i’m just not looking at peoples arms)#ANYWSYS#tumblr polls#my polls#rb for sample size#if you wish lol#finch hall of fame#poll
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