#I usually spend my days procrastinating and my evenings/nights panicking over the things I was supposed to do during the day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wazzupmrstark · 3 years

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instead of you [part seventeen]

pairing: [best friend’s brother] tom holland x college!reader

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.

warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol +sex

word count: 1.5k

series masterlist

The flight from Naples to Tokyo took fourteen hours, not including the two and a half hour layover in Istanbul, meaning you had sixteen and a half hours to sit in awkward tension-filled silence next to Sam. The tension was one-sided, of course, but it was still agonizing to endure.

You had been able to push your anxiety aside during your last day in Italy because it had been so busy. There had been a power outage in the middle of the night, causing everyone to oversleep and miss the ferry for one of your tours that morning. It had been a scramble to get back on schedule and do as much as possible with the time you had left. The boys had been hungover and their parents were tired of wrangling them. You had dozens of photos on your camera roll of Sam and Harry bickering when they were supposed to be posing for a nice picture, and even more of Tom flicking them off.

But now you were stuck alone with your thoughts, unable to use distraction as a means to escape. You tried reading your book, but found yourself unable to concentrate on the words on the page. After staring at the same paragraph for over fifteen minutes Sam noticed and asked if you were okay and you finally decided to call it quits.

You almost wished the Hollands hadn’t scheduled in a day and a half to adjust to the time zone change. You’d rather exhaust yourself with the nonstop tourist bullshit than have to cope with the reality that you had gotten off to thoughts about your best friend’s brother. Not to mention living with the secret that the same best friend’s brother had kissed you not long before that.

If Sam noticed anything was off, he didn’t mention it. He probably chalked it up to lack of sleep, or perhaps was too tired himself to care.

“Which one of us do you think will be randomly selected in customs today?” Harry asked, stretching his arms above his head.

You were standing in the aisle waiting to deplane, placing bets on who’d get searched by border agents this time. Somehow each time you traveled to a new place one of you was always chosen to get pat down or have your carry-on searched. Tom had yet to be the lucky winner, and you suspected it had something to do with his celebrity status.

“Y/n,” Tom answered easily. “She has the U.S. passport.”

You rolled your eyes. “Like England has a squeaky clean record with Japan.”

“At least we didn’t-”

“Bro, you can’t say the b word on a plane,” Harry interrupted.

“Even when the plane’s on the ground?”

Sam shrugged. “Better safe than sorry.”

“Whatever,” Tom continued. “It’s definitely going to be y/n.”

“Would you mind stepping out of line, ma’am?”

You sighed, not even bothering to look back at the boys. You already knew they were grinning like idiots and you didn’t want to give them the satisfaction. The agent ushered you to the side behind a glass partition, but not before you heard another agent repeat the same question to one of the Hollands. You smiled to yourself, happy not to be the only one singled out.

Behind the privacy screen another agent greeted you and asked you to take your sweatshirt off, explaining that it was too baggy and needed to be checked. You saw other people in baggy clothes who weren’t getting pulled out of line, but assumed they didn’t have the red flag of “U.S. Citizen” printed on their identification that would be cause for any additional suspicion. You complied with the agent’s request and pulled your sweatshirt off for them to further inspect.

You were glad you’d worn a sports bra underneath your sweatshirt because you usually didn’t wear anything underneath them. As soon as your head was out of the pullover you immediately met by Tom’s polite smile.

He averted his eyes as soon as he saw you, pausing his conversation with the official to mumble a quiet ‘sorry’ to you as he was shown to the spot next to yours.

You zoned out as they spoke, only aware of him again when he started unbuckling his belt. You caught his eye this time.

“Forgot to take it off,” he explained.

“Sweatshirt’s too loose.”

You both faced forward as the customs officials proceeded through the motions. You were stuck standing there half-naked with your arms wrapped around your chest self-consciously while an agent pat Tom’s legs down.

“Dad said we can meet them at baggage claim,” Tom said after a few moments of silence between the two of you. “They went on without us.”

“Okay,” you squeaked back in response.

You knew it wouldn’t take long, but it still made you nervous to be alone with Tom. Sam was like a safety blanket, or a buffer between you and him and without him you were afraid it would be painfully awkward.

The woman handed you your sweatshirt back and you had to wait for Tom outside of the screening area. He joined you a minute or so later.

“They find any dirt on you?” you asked from where you were leaning against the wall across from the exit.

“Nope, you?”

“Yeah, actually I’m in custody right now. Can’t believe you missed the handcuffs.”

“Man, what’d they get you for?”

“Identity theft,” you sighed.

“Damn, that’s a bummer,” Tom replied, false sympathy rolling off his words.

He cocked his head in the direction the rest of his family had went, indicating that you should get going, and held out a hand to pull you upright. You took it hesitantly and let him help you.

“I was actually hoping you could bail me out?” you went on, continuing with the bit.

Tom made a sound through his teeth and grimaced. “I’m kinda broke right now.”

“Aren’t you an actor?”

“Sorry, but I think you have me confused with someone else.”

“No, you’re definitely the guy!”

“You’re thinking of Tom Hiddleston,” he insisted.

“Remember that IOU you gave me? I’m cashing it in now.”

“That’s not how it works!”

You laughed. “No, but if I ever actually get arrested I’m using my IOU to get you to bail me out of jail.”

“I don’t think that a kiss and getting bailed out of prison are comparable, but I didn’t put any conditions on that postcard, did I?”

“Nope!” You smiled happily.

“Well that’s on me, so...”

You took the shuttle together to the other side of the airport where the rest of the Hollands were waiting and finally found them with all of your luggage at the furthest carousel from the entrance.

“It’s about time!” Harry yelled over the crowd as soon as he saw you.

Sam grinned when he saw you and you couldn’t help but grin back. He wrapped an arm around you instinctively and you relaxed into his shoulder, relieved to be with him again. It hadn’t dawned on you until that moment just how attached you were, but you didn’t have time to dwell on it because the other Hollands were all looking at you expectantly.

“Did everything go okay?” Nikki asked.

Tom nodded. “They made y/n strip, but it was uneventful otherwise.”

You pursed your lips, cheeks burning. “It was just my sweatshirt!” you hissed to Sam.

“Yeah, but you never wear anything under your sweatshirts!” Sam hissed back.

“I had a bra on this time.”

“Oh, so it was just another night at the bar for you?” You wrestled yourself out of Sam’s grasp at that and glared. “Am I wrong?”

Sam’s dad cut in before you could respond. He had a habit of calling “family meetings” in the middle of public spaces to finalize plans and get everybody on the same page, which was always an experience.

“Alright, gather up, gang!” he said, beckoning you all closer. “So we’ll be staying at... this hotel,” he explained and turned his phone around to show you the name of it. “And the thing is, we have two rooms to share between the six of us. One for your mother and I, and another for you four.”

“What?” Sam asked. “You’re going to make us stay with them?”

“I thought we were getting three rooms like every other time,” Tom chimed in.

“We were meant to, but I made a mistake when booking it,” Dom clarified.

“How?”

“The entire website was in Japanese, Sam. I don’t know Japanese!”

“Dad, Google has a translate webpage option!” Harry groaned.

“Well no one told me that while I was booking this entire trip by myself!”

You traded a look with Tom, who looked just as panicked as you felt. But it would only be for a week. You would find a way to manage. You didn’t really have any other option.

“I’m sure it’ll be fun,” Sam tried, forcing a smile.

“That’s the spirit!” Dom cheered. “We’ll make it work.”

sorry she’s short this week :( but lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

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#instead of you #iou #tom holland series #tom holland x reader #tom holland x bi!reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n

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bukojuiice · 4 years

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ʚ Midoriya, Bakugo, and Todoroki cramming school works with their S/O ɞ *‧.₊˚*੭*ˊᵕˋ੭.*

izuku, katsuki, and shoto x gn! reader ♡

｡⋆ʚ♡⃛ɞ These are some extremely self-indulgent hcs LMAO i’m currently consumed by a lot of school works and extracurricular activities, so i decided to take the time and write some of these up! this the first batch of hcs i’ve ever made so i hope you bear with some errors! i hope you enjoy!

hopefully i get to write more about the other bnha bois/girls soon so please also stay tuned for that!

if you like to see more from me, i have an ongoing bakugo x fem reader! smau called cuddle buddy! read it here! ( ु•⌄• )

✧ Izuku is very smart and hardworking so you’ve barely seen him cram any school work or tasks since the two of you started going out.

✧ Soft bby boi knows how to balance his workload from school whilst still being able to spend time with you.

✧ Now here were the two of you, partners for a huge science project that would serve as your midterms for the subject.

✧ Both of you were tasked to take care of two chicken eggs and treat them as your children. Draw faces on them, make them wear clothes, give them names and describe their personalities... literally treating them like actual babies.

✧ You were whining about it at first because it felt like an elementary project instead of something first year high school students (and those in the hero program for that matter) would do.

✧ Izuku remained positive however and reassured you that it was going to be a lot of fun.

✧ You were still salty and unimpressed by the project, but you couldn’t help but melt because of how cute Izuku was and how excited he was for this task. He really wanted to spend a lot of time with you and he was so so happy that you two were partnered for this project.

✧ Because it was midterms week, you were swarmed with tons and tons of stuff to do, so the two of you decided to finish everything else first then deal with the science project at the end of the week because it was the “easiest”. Boy.. were the both of you so so wrong.

✧ Izuku goes up to your room in the dorm so that the both of you can work on the project quietly, yet as he enters, he sees you panicking and running around the room, your camera hanging around your neck, holding two half-cracked eggs with weirdly sewn clothes and faces that looked like they were scribbled from sharpies.

✧ “Izu-kun... can you help me take pictures of our kids for the baby photobook?

✧ He was about to faint on the spot from fantasizing about his future with you.

✧ “Of course! hand me All Might Jr. first so you can take a picture of his cute little sister!”

✧ Yes, your first born eggo is named after All Might. It was Izuku’s decision and you wanted to support him.

✧ You spent all day taking pictures, printing them, designing them and pasting them on the photo album. It was finally nighttime and the both of you are terribly exhausted and mentally drained.

✧ You and Izuku had creative minds so you were able to create the perfect photo album.

✧ Several hours have passed and Izuku still can’t stop thinking of the future he was going to have with you. What a cutie.

✧ After submitting and passing the photobook to the drop box Ilda left in the living room, Izuku goes up again to your room and is surprised by the sight of you sleeping soundly on your bed.

✧ He comes up to you, kisses your forehead and whispers these soft words to you:

✧ “I can’t wait to tell our future kids how I met you.”

✧ Bakugo Katsuki has never crammed a school work or project in his entire life.

✧ You on the other hand, procrastinated a lot, yet could still pass tasks on time. Although, Katsuki still reprimands you for it. Calling you “dumb butt” instead of the usual name callings he uses whenever talking to your classmates which is “dumb ass”

✧ He is your boyfriend so it’s not that much of a surprise, it’s just that you’re a bit shocked that he would be really really soft on you. It’s such a sweet gesture though.

✧ After binging a entire series on Netflix the other day, and because he couldn’t resist your pleas of begging him to watch this show with you, it completely slipped from the both of your minds that you had a dance project to work on for your Physical Education class.

✧ You immediately panicked, and Bakugo began to show his usual hot-headed side of him and scolded you for it. Despite him forgetting about it too.

✧ The two of you were going to film yourselves dancing to the Cha Cha dance style and you had a day to create the raw video without edits.

✧ You suggested that the two of you practice by uploading your videos to Tiktok and ask for advice from the professionals who posted their videos there too

✧ “Katsuki-kun do you think we should upload our videos to Tiktok?”

✧ “Absolutely fucking not.”

✧ After watching a few beginner dance practice videos on Youtube, Katsuki immediately got the hang of it.

✧ Your man had the moves. He really was good at everything.

✧ You couldn’t help but stare at him as he continues to sway and follow the steps without missing a beat.

✧ Bakugo smirks at you, “Like what you see?”

✧ “Get your mind out of the gutter.” You threw a pillow at him as his tease came out of nowhere.

✧ Since you were quite a slow-learner, it took a few hours before you got the hang of the first routine.

✧ In those few hours, you probably have stepped on Bakugo’s toes a few hundred times and a few hundred fucks were cursed out of his mouth every time it happened.

✧ He was still patient with you though in his own little way. Constantly scolding you every time you made a mistake, but never made you feel guilty for it.

✧ You were able to finish recording the raw video by evening. A few hours to spare before the deadline. Either way, the both of you were exhausted when the adrenaline finally died down.

✧ “I can’t wait to dance with you again like this. Maybe Waltz or Ballroom next time?”

✧ “You’re a shitty dancer so don’t expect it to happen anytime soon.”

✧ “Then again, I’m dancing with you. So it doesn’t matter if you’re bad. The important thing is, it’s going to be special since I’m with you.”

✧ And at that moment, you could feel your heart explode from all these soft emotions.

✧ Shoto was naturally smart. He could finish a lot of tasks in a few hours without getting distracted. That was his strategy ever since he was in Elementary. Getting things done right away and getting flawless remarks and grades on them.

✧ But ever since the two of you got together, he insisted that the two of you would do your school works together. So, every night, whenever there was homework, you would immediately yeet over to Shoto’s room to answer the tasks with him.

✧ It’s really cute. Not only do the two of you get to bond together but, you were helping each other too. It was the ideal relationship.

✧ Shoto is very particular with a lot of fancy things, so he even has this humidifier in his room with your favorite scent so that the both of you can calmly continue your work. He even has a comforter sprawled upon the floor so that you could sit comfortably. How sweet of him ;w;

✧ This time around though, the two of you were partnered up for to answer a elaborate math problem that you were going to present the next day.

✧ You exceled in your subjects with Math being your weakest point, sometimes even getting unfavorable grades on the subject. Shoto was the exact opposite though. Which wasn’t surprising because he needed to be good for his quirk. How far his fire can go, the trajectory of his ice and all that jazz.

✧ He wasn’t disappointed that he was partnered with you for this though, despite it being your weakness. In fact he couldn’t be happier. As long as he was spending time with you.

✧ After reading through the problem and finding the formula, you were already stressed out. Todoroki took notice of this immediately and decided that the two of you should take a break first. He brings you to the convenience store near the dorm. Your hand holding his as he tells you that you could buy any snack you want.

✧ Using his father’s credit card of course.

✧ After coming back from the store, the two of you decided to head straight back to the math problem. It was very very complicated, especially since the two of you had to divide the work because it was required for the project for the two of you to evenly contribute to it. It was a math problem your braincells couldn’t take anymore.

✧ “Shoto-kun, I can’t take this anymoreee.” You whined, resting your head on his shoulder.

✧ “Come on (Y/N), just a little bit more. We’re almost finished.”

✧ Shoto was finished with his part of the solution, while you were still struggling. It took the whole night to do so but you were able to answer it eventually.

✧ The next day, it was finally time for the presentation. Shoto was able to present his solution perfectly, while you had some slip-ups and mistakes here and there. The both of you didn’t get a good grade because of that... but to him, it didn’t matter.

✧ “I’m sorry for dragging you into this. It’s my fault we got a bad grade.”

✧ “It’s alright (Y/N). It doesn’t matter. As long as I get to experience something different with you and spend time with you every single day, I’m happy and contented.

✧ You were so blessed to have someone like Todoroki Shoto in your life. What did you to deserve such a precious and kind boyfriend?

-End. ♡‧₊˚

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thenovelartist · 3 years

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Burned Beginnings, Chapter 8

<<Previous Next>>

22. Anniversary

“Happy three month, one week, and four day anniversary!”

Marinette snorted, hanging her head instead of looking up to see him. “We are not doing that, are we?”

“Yup!” Adrien said, beaming.

With a sigh, Marinette looked back up at him, an accepting smile on her face. “And why, pray tell, are we celebrating this specific anniversary?”

Adrien gave his best pout. “Because it’s been almost three weeks since we’ve been able to have a date and I miss you.” The bakery had been busy the last couple weeks, packed with longer lines than normal and more special orders. Sadly, this meant he hadn’t been able to spend time with Marinette, and their attempt last week to get together ended up with them falling asleep in the middle of Fruits Basket.

Which attested to just how tired they were, because that was really hard to do in the middle of season three!

He supposed a nap date where she’d laid huddled against his chest while he snuggled her wasn’t a bad thing. On the contrary, it had been one of the best naps he’d ever had. But still, it wasn’t quite what he’d label as a date.

“Has it been that long?” Marinette questioned, her brow furrowed. “I feel like the days have all blended together lately.”

“Yeah. Our last official date was when we went out for breakfast and then around the park before coming back and working that first chaotic night shift.”

“Oh yeah,” Marinette said, eyes brightening in realization. “I totally forgot about that.”

“How could you forget me?” Adrien pouted.

“Easily,” Marinette sassed back with a wink.

He theatrically grasped at his chest above his heart. “Ouch, ice princess. You put Elsa to shame.”

She leveled a flat look at him.

“Oh? Does the princess wish I’d let it—”

“You’ve been banned. Good bye.”

“Wait, wait,” he cried, quickly catching the door before she could slam it in his face. “Come on, that was funny.”

“That joke is already dead. Don’t continue to beat the dead horse.”

“But it’s still relevant.”

“No. No, it’s not.”

He pouted, shooting her with his best pair of puppy dog eyes he could manage.

“I don’t care how cute you are.”

“Ouch,” he said, smile growing. “That was a cold one, princess.”

“Yeah, and don’t you forget it,” she said with a smirk.

“I won’t,” he assured. “Now, may the lovely royal princess of the bakery deign me worthy of entry into her humble abode?”

“You are such a dork.”

“Your dork.”

“My amusing peon.”

“Ouch!”

Giggling, she opened the door, letting him in.

Adrien happily walked in to the house that had become his second home. “So, for our anniversary, you want to go grab an ice cream on this nice day?”

Marinette frowned. “Actually, I’m really not up for going anywhere.”

“Oh? Are you not feeling we—”

He stopped, his eye catching the plastic Marinette had wrapped around her left arm. More accurately, catching sight of what was underneath the plastic.

She grinned, looking down at what looked like a fresh tattoo. “Yeah. Guess you could say that, but supposedly, that’s pretty typical.”

“Yeah, it is,” Adrien said, walking over to her so that he could examine the design better. “Mine hurt for days.”

“You have a large cat that wraps around your entire forearm. I don’t have anything that big.”

It wasn’t too big, but it was pretty. A few ladybugs sitting on some swirly flowers, a design that took up half of her inner forearm. The design was only about a quarter the size of his, but it felt very similar design-wise, each having an animal in a colorful, misty background that he believed was referred to as a watercolor affect. Hers was just pink compared to his green.

“It looks great,” he eventually said. “And really suits you.”

She grinned. “Thanks. And now, we match.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, look.” With that, Marinette bounced over to his right side, same side he had his tattoo on, before sliding her left hand into his right. “See? You’re the bad luck cat, and I’m the good luck ladybug. We match.”

Adrien stared at their conjoined hands, his eyes slowly drifting up to where his tattoo and hers met. “You got a tattoo… to match me?”

Marinette grinned. “Maybe it’s a little early for ‘matching couple tattoos, but I thought ‘why not?’ I’ve always liked your cat tattoo, so I planned out what I wanted to get so that we could match. I got yesterday after work, and since it’s the beginning of my ‘weekend’, I have time to just relax and let it heal.”

Adrien stared at it, his grin widening. “It suits you.”

“Thank you.”

“You know what this means, though, right?”

Marinette cocked her head. “What does it mean?”

“It means…” he drew out, leaning closer to her with a grin on his face. “You’re stuck with me forever, now that we have a couple tattoo.”

With a grin of her own, she leaned in closer, her nose just a centimeter from his. “Not until I get a ring.”

Without any hesitation, Adrien reached into his pocket. This was just intended to be a gift that he saw that made him think of her. One he impulsively bought one day going home from work. The tag said it was for the right hand.

But at the moment, he could think of no better place to put it than sliding it on her left ring finger right then and there.

“There you go. You’re mine now.”

Marinette froze, staring at the ring for a moment before chuckling awkwardly at him. “You’re kidding, right?”

Adrien knew why she felt so awkward. He did to. It had taken too long to realize for his head to catch up to his actions, and when it did, he himself had froze.

What did he just do?

It wasn’t like he didn’t want to marry her. On the contrary, he had actually already talked with her parents, gotten a blessing from her father, her ring size from her mother, and had ordered a ring last night. He’d planned out just how he was going to propose to her. It was going to be during a perfect date with dinner and candles and a chance to let her dress up. Basically, the whole shebang.

And here he was, proposing with an inexpensive cat ring.

Actually, he realized he hadn’t proposed at all. He’d just stuck the ring on her finger and called it good.

He had to fix this. He had to get his mouth to formulate words first.

“I… I mean…”

Great, his face was red, Marinette was waiting for a well-deserved answer, and he was incapable of giving it to her.

“Adrien, you are not serious.” Her words came out flatly, but Adrien knew her well enough to hear the undertone of panic in them

“Um…” he fought hard for the words that came to him next. “About marrying you? Yes. Absolutely. Without a doubt, I’d chase you to the ends of the earth to make you mine. About this ring being the engagement one, though, no. Most certainly not.”

“You are not serious,” she repeated, her voice weaker than before while her knees began to bend as though she might collapse. Tears began welling in her eyes, and Adrien was growing nervous.

“I’m sorry!” Adrien finally got out, panicked. “I had something so much better planned out, and I definitely should have thought that through—”

“I’m not talking about that, you stupid idiot!” she cried. In a flash, she wrapped her arms around his neck and clung tight. “That was so unromantic and I shouldn’t have expected anything less from you.”

By now, Adrien could hear the tears in her voice, but considering the way she clung to him, she wasn’t too mad about this poorly planned out engagement. “Yeah, it will be one for the books,” he surrendered, hugging her back tightly. “But, is that a yes?”

She nodded, clinging to him tighter. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said with a sigh, the tension leaving his body. “But you’re okay with that, right?”

She sniffed. “Yeah,” she admitted. “Unfortunately, I’m a little too okay with that.”

Adrien just chuckled. “I’ll take it.”

23. Sunset

Marinette looked at the little black kitty ring on her finger. Under normal circumstances, it signaled that she was engaged.

In her case, it signaled she was engaged to an idiot.

“I still can’t believe I did that.”

Marinette chuckled at the blonde man beside her hanging his head in his hand. At the moment, they were finishing up their impromptu date of actually getting the ice cream Adrien had wanted to get last weekend before staying out the rest of the afternoon and finding a spot to grab dinner. But dinner had ended and they hadn’t wanted to hog the table at the restaurant, so Adrien was escorting her home. However, as per usual, neither wanted to part, hence why they were procrastinating their parting on a bench in the park while they watched the sunset.

“Can’t get more spontaneous of a proposal than that,” she teased. Shockingly, she didn’t mind it, though. Adrien looked like he hadn’t even realized what he’d done until after he did it. The horror on his face still shone clear in her memory, bringing a grin to her lips. It really would be one for the books.

But still, he’d made it clear that he earnestly wanted to marry her, and in the end, that’s all that mattered to her.

“You have to know I meant it!” he cried, looking up to her with a faint blush on his cheeks. “I just… did not think that through.”

“At least you’re pretty.”

“Hey, I am plenty bright!”

“Really? Because I think a few bulbs need to be changed in your attic.”

“Says the crazy woman who not only accepted that proposal but is still wearing the cat ring.”

She sniggered. He had her there. “Well, I guess I’m a sucker for honestly.”

Adrien shook his head, a bemused smile on his face. “I’m glad that part came through, at the very least.”

Looking over at the man next to her, Marinette couldn’t help but feel happy. Botched proposal and all, she didn’t mind it one bit. They would always be a little chaotic, they’d always have their back-and-forth banter, but they’d also always have each other’s backs and ultimately would always be each other’s biggest support. The proposal just felt par for their course.

Plus, it would not only make for great stories but great teasing fodder, and Marinette was always down for anything that gave her the upper hand.

“Hey,” she said, voice earnest as she reached out to grab his hand. “Just so you know, I’ll probably never let up teasing you about it.”

He huffed in amusement. “I would think there was something seriously wrong with you if you did.”

“But,” she finished, “I am still very happy.”

His smile turned soft, and Marinette thought she might as well melt right then and there. “Well, I’m glad about that,” Adrien said, raising her hand to his lips so he could kiss her knuckles. “But there is definitely one thing I have to fix.”

Marinette quirked a brow, confused for a second before realizing what he was referring to. “The ring?” she asked, wiggling her left ring finger. “Because I’m not gonna lie, I would like an actual one.”

“Yeah? Well how about this one?” That’s when Adrien slid off the park bench, getting on one knee before her and reached into his pocket. Biting her lip to withhold a girlish squeal, Marinette found that she really didn’t care what the ring looked like.

But she wasn’t going to lie, the stunning blue sapphire he presented her with was freaking gorgeous.

“I know diamonds are traditional,” he said, tugging her left hand closer to him. “But you’re not some average girl. I didn’t think something like that would suit you. Marinette, I would like to apologize for not doing this right the first time, but I’m so grateful that you accepted anyway. I’m so thankful to have you in my life, so much so that I want you to stay by my side as my life-long partner. So with this ring, I’ll ask you properly this time. Marinette, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

Marinette felt the tears prickling her eyes. It was such an easy question, and yet, getting the word to roll of her tongue was difficult. She nodded fervently. “Yes!”

With a grin, Adrien took off the kitty ring and replaced it with the one glittering in his hand. Once he did that, she threw her arms around his neck, clinging tightly to him just as she had the first time he proposed.

There were a few cheers and a round of applause from the people around them, but Marinette couldn’t care less. For better or worse, she was going to marry this idiot.

She couldn’t ask for anything better than that.

24. Balcony

Adrien stood out on his tiny balcony, looking up at the stars and purposefully ignoring his phone.

More specifically, the message his father had left him.

It’s been over a year. The message said. What are you doing with your life now?

Good question.

Adrien sighed, his eyes shutting as he hung his head. Well, he was still working at Tom and Sabine’s bakery, and honestly, he was pretty happy with that. He got to work with people he loved doing something that he did find enjoyable. He never really fancied himself to be the creative type, but finding himself in the kitchen while crafting desserts and making bread had brought more joy into his life than modeling ever had. On top of that, he was getting married. He thought that was a good accomplishment.

But he knew it wouldn’t be good enough for his father.

He heard his phone buzz again and groaned. The last thing he did was want to answer it.

What would I even say? He thought, rubbing his forehead in a vain attempt to relieve the growing stress headache.

Unfortunately, he was too curious for his own good. And that curiosity won out over his reluctance.

He walked inside to where he’d left his phone sitting on the bed side table. Bracing himself, he tapped the screen, only for all tension to instantly drain form his body upon learning it wasn’t a text from his father but rather from Marinette.

You want to go do something tomorrow?

He smiled, collapsing back onto his bed with a smile. Of course he wanted to do something tomorrow. What, he didn’t know, but didn’t really care, either. They always had fun together whatever they did.

He opened the text and started a reply before stopping and deciding to give her a call instead.

“Hey, hot stuff,” she said. He could hear the flirty grin on her face. “Missed the sound of my voice?”

He grinned. “Yeah. Guess you could say that.”

There was a pause on the other side of the line. “Something wrong?” she asked, all teasing gone from her tone.

Adrien sighed. “My father.”

“What happened?”

“Oh, you know, he kicked me out and now is wanting to know what I’m doing with my life.”

He heard her scoff over the phone. “Really?”

“Yeah, but I don’t really want to talk about that right now,” he said. “Right now, I just want to hear your voice.”

“Oh? What do you want to talk about then? My thoughts on that new anime you showed me?’

He chuckled. “You could talk about the weather and I’d be cool with it.”

“Well,” she began in a smooth voice. “Tonight’s forecast includes clear skies with no stars due to light pollution. A light breeze blows through the city tonight towards the Eiffel tower, whatever direction that is. It is an undetermined temperature, but comfortably cool enough to be outside in a short sleeve tee-shirt. How’s that?”

Adrien could feel his worries ease away at the sound of her voice, her sass, spunk, and sarcasm still coming through even through her calm tone. He really loved this woman and was the luckiest guy alive to be marrying her. “It’s perfect.”

#miraculous ladybug #fanfiction #AdrinetteApril2021 #adrienette #adrinette #fluff #just fluff #2 proposals

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your-wings-of-freedom · 4 years

Text

Nightmares (Levi x Reader)

Authors Note: Here we go sweetness. I’m awfully sorry it took so long! I had actually planned to do a Levi x Nightmare fic so when it became my first request, you bet I fangirled harder than ever before! I hope you don’t mind that I added my small original idea to yours. If you don’t like, I can always write up a slightly different scenario ^^” First Levi x Reader fic. Yikes.

Word Count: 5,542 (Sorry!)

Summary: You scream out into the middle of the night from a nightmare, nearly waking the whole squad. As your captain and being someone he cares about, he does his best to calm you down.

You watched as Levi swung gracefully through the air despite being covered in titan blood, only for the wires of his ODM gear to be yanked by greedy hands, rendering helpless. You were too far to reach him. Your ziplined through the trees, screaming for his name. No matter how fast you flew, you weren’t fast enough. Multiple sets of hands fought over Levi, tear him limb from limb. His cries were mixed with yours as you screamed for him. Having reached him just as his eyes made contact with yours before the rest of his body became titan food. “NOOO! LEVI!” Your blood curdling scream echoed throughout the forest, and the chill of the room where your nightmare took place. Everyone, particularly in the Survey Corps have seen horrors to the extreme, and because of that, each cadet suffers with nightmares where it has them screaming out into the night. There’s no judgement or annoyance from those who share a room. It’s probably best that they did since it allows them to have someone there to comfort them. Despite taking up quarters in a building that had more than enough rooms to spare, some cadets still preferred to bunk with each other. You preferred to have a room to yourself if it was available. A lot of it had to do with the fact that you and Levi had grown closer and late-night visits became a thing. Particularly after a brutal mission that, not only left you a complete mess, but would have some sort of impact on Levi where his usual coping method of secluding himself to his room didn’t work.

Your room was never too far from where his office is. The man barely slept and would often spend the majority of his night catching up on paperwork, or making himself a cup of tea. Any small amount of sleep he did get, it was mostly just him nodding off in his chair, having not realized that sleep had overcome him.

Despite how late it was, it was still early in the night for Levi. His night went as per normal. Always staying up until the last member of his squad retired for the night. He may look like a ruthless asshole to nearly everybody else, but he’s not so bad once you get to know him. He’s strict, and firm, with certain things. But he’ll always join his comrades for meals, he’ll always sit and have a cup of tea with them, talk to them. He’s really not that bad.

He made another cup of tea and took it up to his office where a small pile of paperwork was waiting for him. Tch. He wasn’t a huge fan of paperwork. Particularly the reports that had to be completed from unsuccessful commissions; the field report that required details of what happened, what went wrong. There was the death reports of all the soldiers that had died and Levi had to sign off on it before sending letters to the families. He’d much prefer Erwin do this part of the job since he’s the Commander, but Levi doesn’t quite trust the man to do it with the weight of the burden he ought to rightfully carry. For Levi, he felt it’s the least he could do for those who gave their lives to save humanity.

Luckily tonight wasn’t one of those nights where it was a haunting and grim reminder of what would have occurred only hours before. Rather, the paperwork was dull and boring. Of course, he’d much rather that than the alternative.

Cup and saucer gently placed on his desk, he sat down and glared at the pile of paperwork before deciding to procrastinate just a little bit more by taking his first sip of his tea, choosing to relish in the liquid for just another moment longer. An hour or so went by and he had finally signed off on the last piece of paper. How the hell he got through reading Hanji’s report without the need to stab himself in the eyes with his pen is beyond him. Slamming the piece of paper down on the top of the small pile of papers, he stood up from his chair and pulled the pile to him, tapping them into a neat pile before placing them in a manila file, ready to be sent back to Erwin in the morning.

It’s probably past midnight by now… the moon shone brightly, helping to illuminate the dimly lit room further. The night sky littered with stars … and not a cloud in sight, Levi’s come to notice as his footsteps took him to stand by the window and gaze out. It was a summer’s evening but there seemed to be a slight breeze in the air as the silhouette of the tree leaves could be seen swaying slightly.

This small moment of peace was interrupted by the sound of his name being screamed in a terrifying manner not far from his office. His head sharply whipped around, bangs to sway harshly with his sudden movement.

Quick strides had him yanking his door open to already seeing a few members of his squad wearily stepping out of their rooms and into the hall as they made their way in the same direction that Levi was heading. He heard his name being called in half greeting, half question but he didn’t have time to tell them that he’s got in under control, not when you’re still screaming at the top of your lungs for him.

As soon as he opened the door, he saw your body writhing beneath the blankets and he didn’t waste a second by stepping into your room and immediately sitting on the edge of the bed. He didn’t miss your features being contorted into a face full of pure terror and pain. He didn’t want to know what the hell was playing out in your head, whatever it was, it must be worse than their own reality. Because even amongst the horrors and deaths they’ve faced, he’s never seen you look so scared before.

It reminds him of the moment he lost Isabel and Furlan… but this seems far worse. Hands were placed on your shoulders and his voice sharp with authority tried to be heard over your screams, “Y/N! Wake up! Y/N! C’mon, I need you to wake up…” You weren’t known to be a heavy sleeper. At least, not this heavy. It took a while for Levi to wake you up, even him raising his voice to be heard over your relentless screams. Not that it was a competition, but you definitely won ‘Nightmare of the Year’, even Levi hasn’t seen a reaction this intense, not from him, and as far as he knows, not from the rest of the members of his squad either. You heard Levi call out to you, which was impossible because you just saw the last of him disappear into the titan’s mouth. Your traumatized mind must be playing such cruel tricks on your mind. All you could do was watch the titan finish devouring the man you’ve come to care about, the man you’ve come to…well… love. You can hear his voice calling your name again, as the titan’s bloodstained grin stared at you, taunting you in a way. You felt your face contort into something terrifying as you screamed with the heartache of losing the one you loved. That scream carried over when you woke up, not realizing it was you who was screaming into the dark room. It only turned into a scream of panic as you felt a pair of hands gripping your shoulders, and that’s when you fought against the constriction of the sheets that held your body day, panicking like a tortured animal. Your mind hadn’t quite caught up to reality just yet. The scream died from your lips and panicked, frightened whimpers filled the room instead. To be honest, Levi hadn’t expected such a violent reaction upon waking you up. His hands were knocked from your shoulders in your sudden state of panic as you desperately tried to crawl away from him but the writhing in your sleep had caused you to become too tangled up in your sheets. “Hey. Hey! Take it easy. Just a nightmare.” His voice deep and firm, hoping to ground you back to reality at least. His hand hovered in midair as though he was trying to calm down a frightened animal. Finally you were brought back down to reality and you stopped moving, frightened gaze settled on the face you just saw being eaten. You tried to swallow down the whimper that was caught in your throat but failed to do so and you could only close your eyes momentarily in embarrassment. Though you immediately regret doing so, because the moment you did, you were flooded with the same scenes again and your eyes flung open as another state of panic gripped you. “N-No. No. No. I can’t… I can’t get out… I can’t…” your breathing coming out in shaky breaths, the panic had risen to borderlining a panic attack as your chest tightened in fear and your lungs refusing to work properly. Your hands clawed at the sheets, trying to get yourself free from the grips that reminded you too much of seeing Levi gripped in a Titan’s hold. Levi sprung into action as he moved off the bed, gripping the sheets and tugged them back and forth to loosen their bind on you. Once there was an opportunity, you immediately sprung free and made a beeline for the other side of your room. You could finally breathe.

You inhaled deeply but another whimper-like gasp (something that sounds like a ‘nngh’ from the back of your throat) sounded as you took a deep breath. Your hands rested on your thighs as you hunched over, catching your breath.

Levi watched you spring out of bed and try to compose yourself. He understood how nightmares worked. On the odd occasion that he had them, some had left him springing up from his chair. So he understood this moment was pivotal in the need to have some space. He watched as you crouched down with a long, but still shaky, exhale, muttering a ‘shit’ as you braced yourself with your elbows on your thighs, fingers clasping together, thumbs crisscrossing too, and forehead pressing against the base of your thumb where it curves into the palm. It took everything in him not to walk over to you and physically help you through it. He couldn’t even place a hand on your shoulder. Not with everyone ogling at the door. It was probably already suspicious enough that he was the one in this room with you – but, he’s your Captain and the way you had screamed out into the night was not something that he could ignore. It’s no different to when he and Eren stole a couple of moments of privacy to talk one-on-one, right? Grey eyes snapped back to the few members of his squad that had gathered at the door in concern for their terror-stricken comrade. “Alright, show’s over. Back to bed.” The order was given before grey eyes snapped to Eren and bore into his green eyes that widened as soon as Levi barked his name, “Eren go downstairs and make some tea. Don’t fuck it up.” “Sir!”

He waited for everyone to disperse before he took a few steps over to where you were. “Must’ve been a fucked-up nightmare.” You heard his footsteps stop a little bit before you, but you didn’t lift your head. Not just yet. You needed to calm your nerves down, because right now, it felt like it was more than just your heart beating wildly. It felt like every part of your body was throbbing. Including your eardrum, which you’re surprised you could even Levi’s voice over the sound of whatever the pressuring sound in your ears was. “Yeah.” “Want to talk about it?” “No.”

Levi hummed lowly as he closed the rest of the gap between you both, you still didn’t lift your head. He could hear you taking long, careful, steady breaths, immediately recognizing it as a grounding technique. He remained quiet, not wanting to interrupt whatever progress you made with yourself, so he opted to quietly place a hand on your back in a form of some physical reassurance. That’s when he noticed how damp your pyjama’s were. Tch. Eyes snapped over to the mess of your bed in the dim light of the room and he knew immediately what he had to do; change the sheets. It might seem trivial, but even if he didn’t realise it himself, it was far more beneficial to do so in a situation like this. Imagine waking from a nightmare, and then reentering the same messy, sweat-soaked bed again? It’s practically an invitation for another nightmare. While Levi’s reasons lied with the fact it was disgusting to be sleeping on sweat-soaked sheets, the other benefits was a fresh set of sheets, freshly made bed, which should help equal a fresh reset of the mind for the remainder of the night.

“I’ll be back.” Levi murmured as he stood up and fingers trailed off your back. You immediately missed the warmth of his reassuring touch; you missed the calm demeanor he held despite not being the type of guy to mollycoddle you in moments of likes these. You almost whined when he left… no, not whined, begged. You almost begged him to not leave you alone. Luckily that pathetic noise caught in your throat before it could make itself known. You already looked pathetic enough, you didn’t need to sound pathetic on top of it. It’s just adding salt to the wounds. You heard Levi enter back in your room just as quickly as he left it. You heard him place something down; it sounded soft but firm, but you couldn’t make out what it could be. And then you heard the distinct sound of sheets being yanked off the bed. What on earth…?

When you felt like you could lift your head from the heaviness of the fog that shrouded your mind, your eyes opened to Levi changing the sheets on your bed. “Uh, Levi? Y-you don’t have to…” He didn’t even turn around, not even when you stammered slightly. “Tch. Just change into some new nightwear.” You bit your lip, contemplating whether or not there’s any actual need for you to change your nightwear. They’ll dry. It’s not like your drenched in sweat. Suppose to Levi’s cleaning standards, you probably already are. Hearing no movement from you behind him, he added “I won’t look, brat. Just get changed into something clean.” and there was the confirmation that this came down to Levi’s strict hygiene. It could have been worse. He could have ordered you to take a shower or bath as well. You stood up, shakily so to the point where you stumbled a little on your footing before you began to walk over to your drawers and retrieved a new set of nightwear out. You entire being trembled. You weren’t physically shaking on the outside, but you were definitely shaking on the inside. If that made sense? Your hands were the only thing that physically trembled as you changed as quick as you could while Levi had his backed turned. You didn’t even think about your bedroom door being left open and other members (or eren with the tea) could easily have walked in! Though at this point you were too mentally exhausted to deal with the embarrassment of all that. “Uhm..” You awkwardly stood there, completely changed into new attire (it felt much more comfortable, admittedly, now that your damp clothes weren’t sticking to your back), holding your damp clothes in a semi-neat bundle in your hands. Levi stood from straightening the blanket out, pulling back the blankets neatly in the corner, leaving it there as an invitation for you to get back in bed with crisp, dry sheets. He cautiously glanced over his shoulder before he turned to face you, making sure you were decent. He bundled the sheets in his hands and grabbed your nightwear from you as well. His fingers brushing against yours, causing you to meet his steely gaze. You were surprised to see a firmness to them, as though he were silently relaying something to you. You didn’t know what, but it made you feel like you should take a deep breath and trust in him. It was one of those knowing looks.

And with that, Levi left the room with your damp clothes and sheets. Suddenly your room felt colder, you felt colder. Your hands came up and hugged your arms as you glanced around the empty room before your orbs landed on the window. You couldn’t see much outside. Just the stars and the silhouette of the trees. In the daylight, it was an open field of just greenery. Grass for miles, trees, blue sky, flowers blooming. Things that one could take pleasure in but also have that trampled and slipped through your fingers in seconds, just like Levi did with those titans that plagued your dreams. In that moment, you were thrusted back into that vision; the darkness that had you screaming out for Levi. The colours of your world tainted in blood and flesh. His own screams matching yours. You hadn’t realized how rapidly the panic arose within you until you were struggling to breathe and you felt a pair of hands clasp over your wrists, which were resting on your forehead, your fingers curled in the air slightly. At some point you had pressed yourself back against the wall and slid down back into a crouching position again. Slender finger curled around your wrists and tugged them down, “Y/N!” Levi wasn’t even gone a full two minutes as he walked from one end of the building to the other, to dispose of your damp sheets and nightwear. He didn’t think you could get any worse than when you were slightly unresponsive from earlier, so he didn’t think it would be a problem to leave you on your own for a moment or so. It was when he walked down the hallway, back to your room, that he heard those struggling whimpers. The type of sound where you struggle to breathe in between trying to force down the uprising hysteria. (In your case, panic). “Hey.” His low, firm voice called out, losing the iciness that was usually toned in his speech. He got no response from you except to watch you bump yourself against the wall and slide down on legs that couldn’t seem to support your weight. “Y/N.” Footsteps brought Levi over to you but you still didn’t seem to acknowledge him. It wasn’t until he crouched down in front of you and pulled your wrists away from your face, that you finally acknowledged him. Your E/C orbs glanced at his stormy grey ones, his head ducked to be in your line of view, nothing but concern showing through those orbs of his despite the stoic expression he wore. You were on the verge of tears for various reasons. Mostly because you felt so helpless with your feelings, thoughts and emotions. It was overwhelming. You’ve never had a nightmare that affected you so. Levi said nothing. He continued to hold your wrists firmly, gaze locked on yours. What could he say to make it better for you? Nothing, really, except to validate your feelings and even then, it feels useless to do so. Instead, he just quietly held your gaze, quietly grounding you again. You held his gaze back, latching on to it as though it were a lifeline to you. Perhaps he could see that, hence why he hadn’t let go of your wrists nor moved away from you. He intended to stay until he knew for certain that you were going to be alright. The lack of verbal reassurance didn’t bother you overly. You knew he was a man of action rather than words – as the saying goes ‘actions speak louder than words’ and how fitting that seemed to describe him. He didn’t even pull away when Eren came by with the tea. “Uh Captain Levi, sir? I got the teas you wanted.” Levi gave you a slight nod, hopefully successfully relaying that he’s going to break eye contact but he’s still here. His grey eyes left yours to look over his shoulder at Eren who carried a small tray with two teas. “Put it on the table.” Levi gave the simple order. Eren nodded in response and carefully walked the tray over, placing it down on the bedside table. “Anything else, sir?” “That’s all. Go back to bed. You lot have an early start tomorrow.” Another nod from Eren, “Goodnight sir. Goodnight Y/N.” his green eyes cast over your slightly distraught form, breathing back under control again. “Goodnight. Sorry I woke you.” You murmured barely above a whisper. But you heard Eren hum in response, had you looked up you would have seen your friend’s face full of concern, but you kept your eyes downcast.

Eren seemed hesitant to leave you but you were in the hands of Levi, and even though he might not be the most emotionally supportive person, or appear to be, he’s still the safest person to leave you with. Footsteps quietly retreated as Eren headed back to bed. He might still be naïve in his young age, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew there was something there between you and Levi. While you both weren’t publicly lovey-dovey, nor were you behind close doors, there still seemed to be the silent connection between the two of you. Kind of like how Petra, Oluo and the rest of the ‘Levi Squad’ had the silent understanding of they worked together.

Levi watched Eren leave the room before he turned his attention to you, expecting to meet your gaze but your head was ducked out of his view. His fingers uncurled their grip from your wrist but didn’t let go entirely. They trailed over your skin until he gripped your hands in his, fingers curling over your palm instead. Your own fingers curled lightly against his. At least it was some sort of acknowledgement, he was content to settle with that. Bare minimums, it was better than nothing. “Your tea’s going cold and that shit’s expensive. Come on.” He gave a small tug to your hands, hinting for you to stand up and move to the bed. He didn’t mind you were in a sulky mood, but he’d rather you sulk in bed rather than on the dirty floor. Standing up, he felt you move slightly, and with his help, you were standing upright. You could still feel your body trembling violently internally. If given any food, you likely would have thrown it up. You stumbled in your footing and Levi’s quick reflexes had his hands reaching out to balance you. “Easy.” He murmured in a gentle warning, this time he kept his grip on you as he guided you to bed. Grey eyes bore into your frame, taking in your features, your current state. He wondered if something else was going on with you other than the nightmare. Feeling ill, perhaps? You looked far more paler than when he left you to change your sheets. He pushed the blankets back just a little further so you could climb in bed without needing to squish yourself up in order to get beneath the blankets. You certainly hadn’t expected Levi to ‘tuck’ you in either. Though, his version of ‘tucking you in’ was to flick the blankets back up and leave it at that. Still. The small gesture touched your heart and you felt a little of the whatever-it-is-your-feeling ebb away. You leant back against the frame of the bed, hands resting your lap until a cup of tea was brought into view, and your hands welcomed the warmth of the cup. The bed dipped slightly as Levi sat on the edge, facing you, taking in your pale, exhausted features. You suddenly looked so small to Levi. Sitting in bed, slightly curled in on yourself despite your current position. You still looked bothered. Upset. He didn’t know what, but it unsettled him. You had a haunted look in your eyes; it was something Levi couldn’t just up and leave you be. Not that he was planning to just yet. But afterwards… he had a feeling that, even then, he didn’t want to leave you. He’d probably be content to pull up a chair and just watch over you for the rest of the night. But you still looked shaken up.

“What the hell happened in your nightmare?” he finally broke the silence since you were avoiding eye contact as you slowly sipped away at the tea. “Nothing… just the usual.” You quietly respond, though you were annoyed at yourself the way your voice wavered to a quiet tone afterwards. “You’re a shitty liar.” Typical Levi, calling bullshit the minute he sees it. “It’s clearly more than the titans to have you like this.” There was a long stretch of silence on your end and Levi waited patiently for you to answer. He could see you trying to collect your thoughts as your E/C orbs danced back and forth, and your brow gently furrowing. The last part Levi would have found cute had it been under a less distraught situation. Eventually you found your voice, even though it was a lot quieter than you thought you were being, “No, it was that. But…It’s just… you were there. And then you weren’t. They had you. They had you and I couldn’t get to you in time. And it was my fault. It was my fault. I tried, Levi, I tried so hard. I ran as fast I could.” The more you spoke, talked about what relayed in your head, the more the hysteria was building up in your voice until it caught in your throat on a threatened sob, which Levi immediately picked up on. He was quick to remove your half-drunk cup of tea from your hands and place it on the tray by the bed.

Finally the sob tore through, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

It was clear that you had thrusted yourself back in the dream as you relayed it to Levi, losing your place in reality for a moment.

Levi finally reached for you, in the sense of physical reassurance. His right hand reached for your upper arm, tugging you forward. He pulled himself forward too, so he could position you against him. His left hand came around and looped around the nape of your neck, pulling you into his chest. His right hand left your arm and immediately came around your back. “Calm down Y/N. It was just a nightmare.” Probably not the best words to be comforting someone with, brushing aside the valid response to a nightmare. But Levi wasn’t one to verbally comfort someone without soft reassurances. He says it how he sees it. Stating the facts. But it was the calmness in his voice that people can find safety and reassurance with. Almost like he was trying take your burden and carry it so you don’t have to. Humanity’s Strongest. Your hands shot out from resting in your lap to gripping his shirt on either side of his hips. He could feel his shirt tugged down slightly as the material scrunching into creases, but it didn’t seem to bother him. If it did, he didn’t show any signs. Despite the fear of wanting to close your eyes again, your eyes immediately squeezed shut when your ear was pressed to his chest, the sound of his heart beating in perfect rhythm blocking out the screams from your nightmare that still echoed in your head.

Your exposed ear was resting in the crevice of this thumb and forefinger, long slender fingers threaded through your locks as he gently cradled your head to his chest. This had been the most comforting thing you needed, to be engulfed in his scent, his warmth. Despite being the cold, distant, stoic man he is, even when comforting someone to this degree, he still had warmth and compassion within him, it’s just hidden behind that exterior he wears. If you’re smart enough, understand him enough, you’ll be able to see through the cracks and realise it’s the things he does that offer comfort.

Your body shook with the sobs that you were trying to hold in but failing miserably at doing so. Your teeth had hold of your bottom lip to force the sounds from pouring out but if you bit down any harder, you’d cause yourself to bleed. So you surrendered the fight and let it all out. Your body trembling violently beneath his grip as your entire being was struggling to let out all that you held in.

You felt Levi’s grip on you tighten just a little bit, obviously not enough to hurt where his fingers were cradling your head. “It’s alright… It’s just a nightmare. You’re safe.” He couldn’t promise that the nightmare wouldn’t become a reality, because there’s always a chance that it could. And he didn’t see the need to make empty promises. But he couldn’t just silently let you cry it out like this. Not when your sobs were wails of pain. It’s likely you might have woken some more of your colleagues up, especially with your bedroom door still open, but Levi didn’t give a shit about it right now. And he certainly wasn’t going to let go just to shut the door. If someone came in to investigate, he’d have no issue telling them to scram. It really must’ve been a fucked-up nightmare for you. He could only imagine just how graphically the nightmare played out for you. He wouldn’t be all that surprised if you chose to stay awake for the remainder of the night. He’d rather you not because you all have an early start in the morning with training, but he’d also understand. As long as you’re still right to train, he didn’t care if you didn’t fall back asleep.

Levi’s heartrate didn’t change, it kept beating in perfect rhythm, matching the calm tone of his voice and demeanor. You were grateful for this because it helped ground you once more as your cries quietened down. But you didn’t move away from him, nor did he make any movement to pull away from you. He continued to hold you to his chest, his other hand giving your back a small rub here or there. He patiently and quietly waited until you were ready to decide what to do next.

But you never did. You stayed like that for a good long while, Levi never questioned it, never moved. He continued to hold you as long as you needed. Oddly enough, your eyes begun to flutter close. The emotions draining you completely with exhaustion. It wasn’t until Levi felt his shirt relax from your grip that he craned his head to take a glance at your features. Your nose was red from crying, your eyes were slightly puffy, lashes still wet from the tears. It was at this point that Levi finally made the first movement as he stirred you from dozing off to sleep so you could lay down properly. And you did so without little grumble. Too exhausted to fight it off. Levi stayed. He got up to close the door, but he pulled up a chair and stayed. It was only a couple of hours until the sun rose above the hills. If you could get a couple hours worth of sleep in, he’d be content with that. The room was already lighting up with the darkened morning beginning to fade as the sun made its way around to their side of the earth.

Arms and legs crossed, his gaze rested on your peaceful features, contemplating how badly this nightmare had shaken you up. He knows you’ve seen horrors, had a few close calls with death – they all have. But he’s never seen anything to have brought you down like this. Though, there’s always something that makes a person break. Even him. You always amazed him how strong you were. You carried the team the same way he did. Putting aside your emotions and feelings in order to push the squad forward and focus on the mission. You were their sounding board, their grounding point. Especially when they needed someone to talk on a personal level where Levi couldn’t offer them that. If it weren’t for your softness, you would’ve made a great Vice Captain.

He cares for you. More than you’ll ever know. More than he’ll ever let on, or admit to. It’s why he chose to stay rather than retreat back to his office. He didn’t feel comfortable leaving you after witnessing you break the way you did over something so trivial as a nightmare. Even though you were asleep and there was nothing more Levi could do.

He stayed.

#Levi x Reader #Captain Levi x Reader #Levi Ackerman x Reader #AoT x reader #Attack on Titan x Reader #SnK x Reader #Shingeki no Kyoujin x Reader #Levi Hurt Comfort #Levi Nightmare #your-wings-of-freedom

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kpopchangedmylife44 · 3 years

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Ateez: honeymoon thread

Hello fellow atinys, my blog reached 500 followers and I would like to thank everyone, who enjoys my stories 🥺 I’m really happy that someone out there gets to read them and it maybe put a smile on their face ☺️ So this is a 500 follower special. It’s a long thread and also kind of a sequel of my wedding post. I planned it for quite some time, but I also procrastinated and everything was overwhelming in life. Now I’m back (kinda) and will start to work on the requests I got. ✨

Hongjoong

Planning: although you both were extremely tired, you insisted to plan everything yourself, so it turned out exactly how you imagined

Location: Italy

Accommodation: several cozy hotels in bigger cities

Food: it’s Italy so you can bet your ass there is a lot of pizza, spaghetti and ice cream involved

Activities:

- you would start your honeymoon in Rome, where you wander around and fall in love with the city

- the architecture and museums are extremely beautiful, so you’re even more happy that you get to experience it with Hongjoong

- visiting Verona and pretending you were Romeo and Juliet (but with a happy ending)

- eating a lot and wearing comfortable clothes as you walk around so much

- Hongjoong is particular affectionate during this trip as he showers you with compliments all the time and never lets go of your hand

- exploring Venice by boat and singing some dramatic song that you once heard in a opera

- wearing couple jackets he designed himself which feature your initials 🥺

- he filmed parts of the trips as he would like to make a short film, which you could enjoy afterwards

Seonghwa

Planning: since you both hated it, you were hiring someone to do it for you, at least you had prepared a mood board and the general direction of your trip

Location: south of France

Accommodation: fancy all the way, either a really nice hotel or a little castle (or chateau how you say it in French)

Food: grapes in the form of wine

Activities:

- prepare yourself for the luxurious trip of a lifetime

- you’re arriving there and everything is ready for you both

- first are reFrEsHMents (which means alcohol)

- full course meals (and yes, this includes your husbands looks)

- boat trips and visiting tiny islands for the day

- taking a lot of selfies

- enjoying the sun and the food (and Seonghwa in swimwear)

- skinny dipping in the sea

- hot nights in the hot tub

- testing wine and feeling a little pretentious

- visiting a chateau and running around there like a music video

- Seongwha saying ,,so ha“ when he sees you

- kisses your hand and hair all the time and is more clingy (or thirsty) than usual

Yunho

Planning: you try to plan without the stressful part, so you ask a professional for help and it’s really smooth from this point on

Location: nationalparks in the USA

Accommodation: small hotels along the road (not Motels)

Food: normal restaurants, but also a lot of burgers

Activities

- it’s like a roadtrip, but way more comfortable

- you sleep in cozy little hotels and visit some bigger cities along the way

- wandering around the nature with Yunho is actually really fun

- although he is quite hyper around everyone he enjoys the calmness of your trip

- always holding your hand and kissing you

- you visit several national parks like Yosemite and could gaze at the stars during the night

- englishi Time

- he is no longer yunhoe bit yunhusband (i’m sorry)

- buys dumb souvenirs like mood rings which you religiously wear from then on

- thought that he saw a bear and almost started crying

- singing really loudly in the forest

- oh and also outdoor sex

Yeosang

Planning: 8 months before the trip, but he actually always had ideas; planned his wedding and honeymoon years ago when he first met you, he also made a mood board and it helped a lot

Location: Japan during the cherry blossom

Accommodation: a traditional house with a lot of privacy, an onsen but also room service, does not look like a hotel but has all the privileges

Food: lots of chicken; Japanese dishes, but also snacks whenever you go out to explore

Activities

- you would first explore Tokyo and visit everything the city has to offer

- as the city is really beautiful but also hectic, you would visit Nara-park and pet the deers to relax

- you would let some street artist paint a portrait of you both as it’s a really fun idea to remember the trip

- shiba inus everywhere and Yeosang melts every time he sees one of them

- ,,Look at how cute they are. We need to adopt at least one in the future“ (and you would, because they are so adorable)

- fotoshootings with the cherry blossom

- after a week in the urban area you would travel along the coast

- Yeosang rented a car for it and you stayed at different hotels along the way, which you also booked prior

- you visited a little island where a lot of bunnys live and had the best time there

- Yeosang always buys souvenirs whenever you visit a new city or attraction

- he especially loves the postcards as he plans to do a collage with them for your honeymoon fotobook

- driving along the coast would be peaceful and filled with laughter, Yeosang giggling to himself and feeling like all of this might as well be a dream

- ,,I never knew it was possible to love someone so much until I met you“

San

Planning: you booked the trip 6 months prior and you gradually became more and more excited for it, although both of you aren’t really into planning, you did it with a lot of excitement and talked about it for hours on end

Location: South Africa

Accommodation: a huge wooden house in the middle of a resort that focuses on reserving the wildlife

Food: a huge variety of fruits and meat, the dinner is a feast every single day of your stay (and so is your husband)

Activities:

- the journey itself would be really cute as you were flying first class and cuddled all the way until you arrived

- San even mumbled in his sleep how excited he was to finally go

- when you arrived you took it really easy, just relaxing at the resort, which also had huge beds and a stunning outdoor area with a whirlpool

- the first evening you relaxed in that whirpool, while spotting some giraffes in the distance and it just hit you like ,,Wow, look how amazing life could be” (bish, I wish)

- you never really believed that you would ever be this happy, finding someone that you loved and going on adventures with him but here you are

- and of course San felt it too, but you just sat there enjoying it, holding hands and not saying anything

- the next couple of days included going on safari, climbing a mountain, standing under a waterfall and chasing sunsets

- it was the perfect balance between adventure and relaxing

- because of your husband you always felt a calmness by his presence

- ,,I wish we could do this all over again, San.“

- ,,Well, we have the rest of our lives to go on adventures like this.“ 🥺🥺🥺

Mingi

Planning: like the wedding itself it happened quite fast without much planning

Location: Australia

Accommodation: several hotels as you also rented a car

Food: some really strange exotic food, but mostly real meals with the occasional burger and cocktails

Activities

- the focus is on having fun, enjoying every moment and just going with the flow

- after all its Mingi, who has a lot of spontaneous ideas

- why not go snorkeling or run naked around the beaches?

- or that time he was convinced that he saw a shark and you both panicked and screamed (but it was a dolphin)

- going to a concert at the beach and dancing until your feet hurt and he has to carry you

- also sleeping at the same beach as you two were too drunk to find the way back to the hotel

- Mingi being extra clingy and giving some people the stink eye, who look too enthusiastically at you

- he wrote a rap for you (inspired by your honeymoon) and performed it by the ocean

- it’s like having the best trip of your life and realising it doesn’t end when you get home, because having Mingi as your husband is a great adventure and he spends every day trying to make you laugh and love life

Wooyoung

Planning: the location itself was decided a long time ago, but the activities are more spontaneous, just going with the flow

Location: Iceland

Accommodation: first in a hotel, then in a mobile home

Food: fresh food like fish and also a lot of snacks

Activities:

- your honeymoon and accommodation were a little unconventional

- you started in the city of Reyjkavic and visited the touristy sights

- you stumbled around the Icelandic phallological museum and decided to go inside for the lols (and had a lot of giggles)

- after a few days in the city you ventured out to the beautiful nature of Iceland

- it started at the blue lagoon, which was the most relaxing thing and you were just hanging out and sipping slushees (they are really good, I had the time of my life lmao)

- then you drive around and it feels like absolute freedom

- you feel like exploring a whole new world as they are a lot of waterfalls and geysers

- Wooyoung feels like he is falling in love with you even more (if that’s even possible) and if he hadn’t already, he would marry you then and there again

- star gazing as there is no air pollution and it’s amazing how many stars there actually are

- visiting the diamond beach, which sparkles and has you feeling like little kids

- long morning snuggles and random hugs throughout the day

- and he would also be your personal photographer and scream how cute you are

- your honeymoon would also include really random stuff (like the penis museum) like skateboarding in the middle of nowhere (like Walter Mitty - the absolute legend) or hiking because you felt like it

- never a dull moment with your husband that’s for sure

Jongho

Planning: he wanted everything to be perfect so you started pretty early (1 year before)

Location: England

Accommodation: small hotels with cozy interior

Food: pretty normal food, you also tried fish & chips once (and it was nothing special)

Activities:

- would hold your hand during the whole flight

- you started your honeymoon in London which you loved at first sight

- the hotel was really central, so you could walk to a lot of sights

- London by night was magical and you visited many museums which had great artwork and were free

- theater nights and going for a walk along the Thames

- after a week you started to explore the cities around London like Oxford, Brighton and Cambridge

- and everything was so stunning and with Jongho by your side you could literally cry, because does it get much better than this??? (well no)

- Jongho declares his love for you at least once a day and although it was so cheesy it still got you giggling and feeling all mushy inside

- he loves all the old buildings and biscuits, so you would probably visit again sometime

- it’s a really nice and somehow relaxing trip although you get to explore so much

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donteattheappleshook · 4 years

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She Came from the Water Chapter 1/?

Summary

Between his dissatisfying job, a constant battle to keep seeing his daughter, and a history of mistakes, losses, and broken dreams, Killian Jones has no place for magic in his life. But when he pulls in his fishing nets one evening only to find a woman caught in them, his life becomes infinitely more complicated. Is she a siren, a selkie, like his daughter believes, or just another lost soul like himself? Suddenly, his life is a thing of fairytales; beautiful women hidden away in cottages, selkie husbands coming back to claim them, and, just maybe, a chance at happily ever after.

A Captain Swan AU based on the film Ondine (2009) for the @captainswanmoviemarathon

Rated M for eventual smut.

Read it on Ao3

Huge, gigantic, enormous, (I wish I had more synonyms), amazingly big thanks to @ultraluckycatnd for her amazing work and help as beta for this fic. Thanks for putting up with all my last minute writing and procrastination. You're a superhero.

Chapter 1

Killian shivers. He’s cold. Cold and damp - the kind of damp that sinks into his bones and chills him so much that he thinks he’ll never feel warm again - the kind that shakes him from the inside no matter how many layers or jumpers he wears. It’s grey today. It’s always grey, the clouds blanketing the sky and a constant drizzle mixing in with the water splashing off the side of the boat. Not a ship - a boat. That’s what it is. Maybe once he’d dreamed of being on a ship, of sailing around the world, of feeling the ocean air and the sun on his face rather than the wind and the wetness that turns the bits of water in his beard to ice on the particularly cold days. He’d had a lot of dreams once, but one after the other those had slowly slipped away, one mistake after another, one drink after another, one death after another.

Even now he wishes he had a bottle with him, one that would warm his blood and make the hours passing more bearable. But the trade off isn’t worth it. That’s what he tells himself anyway - every day for the last seven years. He shakes his head and then his hands that still hold that slight tremor after all this time and tries to focus on the task at hand. That’s the problem with this line of work: too much time alone staring out at the grey sky and the grey sea. Too much time to let melancholy in and to let hope slip away until his thoughts match the horizon.

He tugs his knit cap down further over his ears and rubs at his eyes, trying to clear the wet and the sleep and the boredom from them as he tries to focus on the water, to spot his traps among the dozens that litter the surface. He hasn’t caught lobster in weeks but still he checks them every day. He hasn’t caught much of anything in weeks, really. That’s the other problem with choosing fishing as a line of work. One bad day, one bad week can mean the difference between keeping the lights on in his dingy little cottage, or spending another night huddled up by the old wood fireplace trying to dry the cold that seems to live under his skin. And Killian’s had many bad weeks now.

He pulls up the first trap, wincing as his fingers brush the icy surface. It’ll be winter soon - not that summer lasts very long on this little island. They get three, maybe four weeks of sunshine if they’re lucky, the rain giving just enough respite for the grassy noles to be overrun by flowers and birds before they skitter back off into their hiding places and the world goes back to the usual grey and faded green landscape he’s spent his whole life in.

That was always his mother’s favorite time of year. It had been his too when he was a child but now he hates it - hates how it teases of warmth and happy days that are here to stay before it rips it away and plunges him back into the reality of his life. When she left, she took his love of sunny days with her. He wishes he hadn’t been born here - wishes he hadn’t been born at all most days - wishes he hadn’t stayed, that he’d left when he’d had the chance. He wants to leave now. But he can’t leave. Alice is here. And wherever she is is where he will be. Always. Even if that place is a miserable, damp, cold island off the coast of nowhere.

The trap is empty. So is the next one, and the one after that. He swears under his breath though there's no reason to. It’s not like there was anyone who could hear him this far out on the water. He looks out at the vastness before him and thinks, as he does every day, about pointing his little boat in one direction and floating off until he can’t go any further. Maybe he’d find somewhere better, maybe he’d die out there. It brings a small smile to his face even as he throws the last empty trap back into the water.

Pushing back the layers of wool and nylon on his wrist, he wipes the droplets from the face of his old, scuffed watch. It’s getting late. The sun will be going down soon and it isn’t safe to be out on the water at night. He smiles a little again. Alice would insist it’s because that’s when the sea creatures come to life, mermaids and sirens looking to lure nice fishermen like him to a watery grave - he doesn’t want to ask where she learned the term ‘watery grave’. In reality, it’s the roughness of the waves, the lack of guiding lights, and the rocky shores of the island. Sometimes, he prefers Alice’s version.

The light is dimming from the sky, turning it from the pale grey of daytime to the foggy grey of twilight. He needs to get to the fishery and turn in his meager catches before they close. He sets about pulling up his nets, switching the lever and watching, listening to the familiar wiring sound of the mechanism as it slowly rolls the net in, out of the dark water. But, as more and more of it is pulled up, Killian grows more discouraged, its weight clearly light and therefore, likely empty - or mostly empty.

He pulls his hat off his head in frustration and runs a hand through his too-long hair. He can’t afford another bad day. He’s nearing the end of his meager savings and if he was ever going to have any hope of getting custody - Killian freezes. The hand that’s been rubbing at the back of his neck stops as his skin turns icy under his touch. He feels the blood drain from his face and settle in his stomach as dread washes over him.

A hand. There’s a hand reaching out of the water, pale and nearly blue with cold or - Killian doesn’t want to think it - death. He watches, unable to move for fear of his legs giving out from under him, his heart pounding painfully against his chest. He watches as more pale skin is exposed, the fingers tangled in the netting, as though they’d been clutching at the rope at some point and Killian has a horrific vision of someone being dragged along underwater after his boat.

The clanking sound of the engine coming to a sharp halt when the net is fully reeled in, is drowned out by the blood rushing in his ears as the body inside jolts lifelessly. It’s a woman. He can see the narrow shoulders and slight frame curled up in the bottom of the net. The thin dress she wears is soaked through, exposing more blue skin, raw from salt and cold. Her light hair sticks to her face and shoulders in wet ropes and hides her eyes from his view. Killian doesn’t know how, but he can tell she’d been under the waves for a long time. Too long for someone to have survived. He’s glad he can’t see her face. He’s seen enough dead, expressionless eyes in his lifetime. He doesn’t need to see any more.

Shit. Shit. What’s he supposed to do? Call the police? Bring her into shore? There hadn’t been a training day for this - on what to do if you find a dead body in the water. How had she gotten here? She looks young and healthy. Had she been killed? Had she swam out too far and drowned? Gotten caught in the undertow? Had she drowned herself? More and more horrific, unwelcome images flash through his mind.

The fingers in the net twitch.

“Oh bloody hell,” he gasps. “You’re alive!”

Killian nearly trips over his own feet in his desperate attempt to rush across the deck and pull the net over the side of the boat. His shaking fingers numb as he struggles to loosen the knot at the bottom that opens the net. He swears again when it won’t come loose and then once more in relief when it finally does. He tries his best to catch her, to prevent her body from falling the few feet to the hard wood of the deck.

He manages to soften the blow to her head by placing a hand under it, hunches over her, holding her lips up to his ear to listen for breath and then pressing his ear to her chest when there isn’t any. He waits. There’s a moment before he hears it, a faint, weak heartbeat. She’s alive. He lowers her down onto the floor among the few fish that had been caught along with her in the net. Taking a deep breath and hoping to god he’s remembering this right, he covers her mouth with his own, releasing the breath into her lungs. He does it twice more before jerking back as her whole body convulses beneath him, coughing violently as water forces its way out of her lungs. Sitting her up frantically, he presses his chest to her back and pulls his fists in against her diaphragm. She coughs again, spitting more water onto the deck and gasping desperately for air. Finally, her eyes open and she looks around in panic.

“What happened?” she demands between heaving, ragged breaths. Her voice rough like she’d swallowed sand along with the salt.

“I don’t know,” he tells her honestly as she continued coughing and gasping, retching on her hands and knees. “I - I think you drowned.” Bloody hell. He did it. She’s alive. He did it.

He can feel her pulling away from him and he doesn’t let her go quickly enough. He feels her elbow collide with his stomach and gasps, doubling over and watching as she crawls across the deck and puts her back up against the edge of the boat. She looks at him with panicked eyes, darting around to take in her surroundings despite the fact that she can still barely hold her head up.

“Where. Am. I?” she asks, each word a struggle to push through her raw throat but he can hear her accent. American. She’s a long way from home. He waits until he has his breath back to answer, still holding his stomach.

“You’re on my boat,” he answers slowly, afraid to scare her any more.

“Who. Are. You?” she demands warily. He can see the fear in her eyes.

“Killian. My name’s Killian. I pulled you up in my net.” He gestures weakly at the net he’d hauled her out of not five minutes ago. She looks to the mesh and then back at him, her breathing still ragged and panting but more from the prolonged lack of oxygen than from her panic now.

“I died,” she whispers and the way she met his eyes he feels like she was asking him to confirm it, like she can’t understand how she’s sitting in front of him now with air in her lungs.

“Aye,” he concedes. “But you’re alive now. You’re safe.”

“Why?” she asks, the doubt still in her eyes and it makes him pause. He doesn’t know why. Doesn’t know why life like the sea swallows some people up and spits others out. Why it swallowed his mother and Liam but refused to take him or his father.

“Maybe the land’s not done with you yet.”

He waits as she watches him wearily for a moment before finally nodding her head. As her breathing settles, he notices the goosebumps start to spread over her skin and the shivers wrack her body as the wind whips at her thin dress. She’s soaked through and her skin is still far too blue.

Shrugging out of his heavy rain jacket, he stands and crosses the space between them, hesitating when she flinches and then continuing when she calms. He kneels before her, draping the jacket over her shoulders and wrapping it tightly around her, rubbing at her arms to try and bring some warmth to her icy skin.

“What’s your name?” he asks.

Something he can’t place washes over her and she looks out over the edge of the boat, avoiding his eyes, before answering. “I don’t know.”

“You lost your memory in the water?” he asks, trying to get a look at her head to check for blood.

“Maybe,” she says, pulling the jacket tighter around herself as more shivers wrack her body.

Killian nods, not sure he believes her but there are more pressing issues than her memory. Like the fact that she’s a few minutes away from freezing to death and needs medical attention. Her secrets are hers and he has no right to demand them. Standing again, he heads into the small cabin to find the emergency radio.

“What are you doing?” the woman demands as he picks it up.

“Calling for help. You need a hospital.”

“No!” she insists with more vehemence and life than he’s seen from her since he’s brought her back. “No hospitals. I don’t want to be seen.”

“You don’t want to be seen?” Killian repeats, frowning. She shakes her head, her hand coming up to worry a pendant around her neck. “I’ve seen you,” he points out. This woman is going to kill him. He’s torn between his need to help her and his desire to do as she wants. And the way she looks at him now makes his heart stutter.

She turns to him again, shrugs. “I don’t mind being seen by you.”

“You don’t mind being seen by me?” he repeats again. He has to stop repeating everything she says back to her but he still hasn’t fully convinced himself she’s real, that she’s here, that she was in his net. It feels like a fairytale, like something out of a storybook and if there’s one thing Killian’s life is not, it’s the stuff of stories and happily ever afters.

She shakes her head. “You pulled me from the water.”

She smiles weakly at him and Killian is surprised at how strongly the small turn of her lips affect him. He looks at her now, properly for the first time since he’d found her. She’s small, with thin limbs and a thin frame but the set of her shoulders and the way she holds her jaw betrays an obvious strength despite her size. He’s seen that defiance in someone’s face before, a smaller one. Her skin is pale and damp and there are dark circles under her large eyes, the long hair around her face slowly starting to dry and lighten as it curls.

She’s beautiful, like one of the sirens from Alice’s books, and she doesn’t mind him seeing her. It’s been a long time since a woman hadn’t minded him being around and he feels a tightness in his chest at the same time as he feels warmth bloom in his stomach as she looks at him with trust in her wide green eyes. His gaze drifts down to the long bare legs stretched out in front of her.

He clears his throat, trying to cast away the feelings she’s stirring in him. Here she is, terrified and clearly vulnerable and he’s looking at her like some sort of lecher. The last thing she needs is to be ogled by him. She needs help. She needs to feel safe. And if that means not wanting to be seen by anyone for whatever reason, then he’ll respect that. He sighs, hangs up the radio, and the look of relief on her face makes his heart hurt. What is she so afraid of? Just who is she?

“Do you remember anything at all?” he asks, crouching down beside her. She shakes her head, her mouth setting into a hard line and he fears that perhaps, whatever she’s forgotten was forgotten on purpose. He doesn’t want to think of what could have happened to her for her to end up in that water. He can’t blame her for not wanting to think about it either. A fierce desire to protect her from whatever she’s left behind overwhelms him. Perhaps she is a siren. Perhaps she’s cast some spell over him.

“What should I call you then?” he asks, giving her a small smile when she frowns. “I need to call you something besides the girl I pulled up in my net,” he pushes.

“Do you name all the fish you catch?” she asks and he barks out a surprised laugh.

“No, only the ones who sucker-punch me.”

She smiles, looking a little embarrassed as she toys with the pendant in her hand again as she frowns, clearly trying to remember something, then she pauses and looks down at the little piece of silver she's rolling between her fingers. He follows her gaze, noticing the intricate and delicately etched bird in the center.

“Swan,” she says, looking up at him again. “You can call me Swan.”

He smiles at her and feels the warmth spread through him again when she returns it, even if it is a small shadow of a thing. It suits her, beautiful and elegant and fierce.

“Alright then, Swan, let’s get you somewhere safe.” He thinks for a moment, trying to figure out where he could bring her but finally realising he really only has one option. “I can take you to my place if you like. It’s not much, but there’s dry clothes and I can make a fire.” He starts rambling when she doesn't answer right away. “It’s pretty remote. People don’t go up there so you don’t have to worry about being seen by anyone. I can stay on the boat if you like.” She looks at him in surprise.

“You’d give up your house?”

He sighs. “I’d really like to get you somewhere where you can warm up and not die of hypothermia. I brought you back to life once but I don’t think I could do it a second time.” He gives her a little, self-deprecating laugh. “So yes, if it means keeping you alive, I’m happy to spend a few nights on the water.” She looks at him incredulously but the hard stance she’s held since waking up relaxes slightly. “You’ve been through a hell of an ordeal, love. Let me help you.”

“Okay,” she said after a moment’s hesitation.

He smiles again. He can’t remember the last time he’s smiled this much with anyone except Alice. He stands, holding out his hand and she takes it, her fingers like little icicles in his own, and lets him pull her to her feet. She stumbles a bit, her legs unsteady and he wraps an arm around her waist, holding her to his side as he helps her walk the few steps into the cabin.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get your sea legs soon enough,” he teases and tries to ignore how her laugh makes his whole chest feel lighter. “You alright?” he asks as he settles her down onto a bench, finding another blanket and draping it over her lap.

“Yeah.” She pulls his jacket around herself. He nods, heading over to the wheel across the cabin and turning back to shore. “Killian,” she speaks after a long, stretched out silence. He jumps, surprised by the sound of his name on her lips, at how much he likes it and he turns to her. “Thank you.”

He flushes, nods, clearing his throat uncomfortably. He’s not used to being thanked, to being appreciated or wanted or seen as anything but who he’s become. It leaves him unsettled.

"You don't need to thank me for that, love," he tells her, coughing awkwardly. "It's what anyone would have done."

"No," she whispers so low he barely hears it. When he turns to her, he recognizes the look in her eye. It’s one he'd seen in his brother's, in his own, one too many times. "It's not," she finishes.

Nearly half an hour later they’re rounding the bend of a small bay, one that’s hidden among the rocks and small islands that litter the surface of the water. He navigates his way through them with practiced ease, anchoring his boat and helping his passenger down into the dinghy that takes them to shore.

They make their way silently to the little cottage further up on the rocks. The door creaks open and Killian winces when he takes in the state of the place. He hadn’t been expecting guests. He never has guests - apart from Alice and she’s not one for being indoors. The space that serves as the entranceway, kitchen and living room is littered with bits and pieces of fishing equipment. Netting on the sofa, hooks and bait on the table, and there are an embarrassing amount of unwashed mugs and dishes filling his sink and blanketing his counter.

“Like I said, it’s not much,” he reminds her, feeling his cheeks going red. The cottage is really just one room with a small bedroom and a bathroom off of the back wall. When Alice is over he has her sleep in his room and he takes the couch. Damn, Alice. He was supposed to meet her after sunset. She wanted to go see the fairies by the glen. He doesn’t have the heart to tell her they’re lightning bugs. Maybe, he’s the one who told her they were fairies in the first place.

“Right,” he says and she turns from looking around the room to face him. “There’s a bathroom through there,” he points. “You should probably take a hot bath to warm up and there are clean towels inside. You can sleep in the bedroom if you’re tired and you’ll find clean clothes in there too. There might be a trunk in the closet with some of my mum’s old things. Take whatever you like.” He reaches into his bag, pulls out a sandwich and hands it to her.

“Here,” he says and feels his ears burn as she looks him over before carefully looking over the offered food. With all the commotion he’d forgotten to eat. “You must be starving.” She takes it, nodding her thanks. “I’ll be back later,” he tells her and she turns wide, surprised eyes on him. “I can stay on the boat like I said but I’ll need to grab a few things.”

“You’re not staying?” she asks. He tells himself he must be imagining it. She looks disappointed.

“No, I have somewhere I need to be.”

She nods, that flicker of disappointment still in her eye. There’s an awkward silence between them as they both wait for him to leave. He can’t bring himself too just yet. He needs some kind of assurance that she’ll still be here when he gets back. That he hasn’t made her up and she’ll vanish when he turns his back. After a moment her stomach growls and she laughs, opening the sandwich and taking a bite.

“I expected fish,” she says and it’s his turn to laugh. What the bloody hell has become of his life?

Killian heads for the door, stepping through it when he’s stopped by a hand on his arm. When he faces her she’s not looking at him.

“You’ll come back?” she asks, still refusing to meet his eye, focused on the floor and her bare feet as she shivers slightly under his jacket. He glances down at the fingers that are gripping his sleeve. After a moment, he covers them with his own. He feels her tense but she doesn’t pull away.

“Aye, Swan, I’ll come back.” And he means it. If only to know that she’ll still be here when he does.

#captain swan #cs #csmm #captain swan movie marathon #captain swan au #cs au #ondine #captain swan fanfiction #cs fanfiction

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minmotl · 4 years

Text

Chapter 42: Tang Fan is Jealous, Gets All Mopey, Then Gets Sick & Sui Zhou Nurses Him Back to Health

Context: While Sui Zhou is called away on a case (this is the case in the show when Sui Zhou is imprisoned by the corrupt official and where imposter Wang Zhi turns up, but the developments of the show for this case and also imposter!WZ doesn’t happen in the novel - Sui Zhou does meet some trouble with the corrupt official but it’s settled without much fanfare), Wang Zhi causes Tang Fan to be summoned into the palace by the Emperor to solve the case of the Crown Prince’s study buddy dying (the boy’s surname is Han, this case happens in the show as well).

In this chapter, he’s just finished solving the case and is finally heading home after days of frantic, hard work and Sui Zhou coincidentally is back home from the above case as well. While Sui Zhou was gone, Sui Zhou’s cousin Lady Zhou turned up at the house to look for him but was rebuffed by Tang Fan.

*Note: I really love this chapter!!! One of my favourites, there’s a bit of angst in this one, I LOVE. Like Top 5 chapters for me, honestly. Tang Fan getting all angsty on his own and moping? YAS. I love the way Sui Zhou just tends to Tang Fan, and while he doesn’t outright give into Tang Fan’s every whim, he has Tang Fan’s interests and well-being in mind constantly and I just LOVE. Also, long chapter ahead XD.

**Second note: This thing about marrying twice-removed cousins (and sometimes not even that removed) is a practice in traditional times. Not sure if it counts as incest but probably, but it was something that was widely done across centuries and different dynasties. I have no comments, but anyway, while the Empress Dowager did seem to want to marry Lady Zhou over to Sui Zhou’s, Sui Zhou has never accepted her advances and will refuse her firmly in the next chapter.

Introduction Post | Masterpost

—

Highlights under the cut

Recently, because of the East Palace case, Tang Fan ended up running between the palace and Western Depot often with occasional trips to the Han family’s house. He hasn’t been able to work as usual at Shun Tian Prefecture, and Pan-daren was quick to give him off days so that he wouldn’t need to report at the courts every day until he’s done with the current case.

Although he’s still investigating cases, heading into the courts everyday punctually to sit as compared to having the freedom of time when he’s at work, these are two completely different concepts. While Tang-daren is not the kind of official to just pass his days at work, he was still happy to be able to take breaks and procrastinate from time to time (helping Wang Zhi out on this case).

Seeing that the case is about to conclude, these days of freedom will soon cease and Tang-daren cannot help but feel a little disappointed. Instead of taking a detour to the dumpling stall to have some dumplings, he heads straight back home.

Of course, if Ah Dong was at home to make dinner that would be good. The other time, after the experience of having glutinous peanut balls on an empty stomach, Tang-daren is certain he never wants to experience that again.

The sky darkens gradually and and when only a short distance remains between him and home, Tang Fan sees the swirls of smoke coming from the direction of his house’s kitchen and in that moment, he can almost smell the aroma of dinner. This improves his mood significantly. Humming a tune under his breath, his footsteps quicken.

No matter where he goes, it is still home that is the best!

The door to the front yard isn’t closed and is opened halfway. He’s about to walk in when laughter and chatter sounds from inside and hidden in the ensuing noise is a familiar man’s voice.

Sui Zhou has returned?

Tang Fan is stunned for a moment, and then a smile breaks out on his face.

However, he barely takes a few steps inside before seeing that the doors to the dining hall, which is connected to the main hall, is wide open and inside, there is a whole table of steaming, hot dishes. Little Ah Dong walks out of the kitchen, in her hands holding onto a fresh plate of food, yelling, “Sui da-ge, Zhou jiejie, all the dishes have been served. Da-ge surely won’t be coming home for dinner, so let’s start first!”

There is a man and a woman standing next to the table in the dining hall.

The man is naturally Sui Zhou, who he has not seen in many days. He looks like he’s lost some weight but this makes him look even more mature. He must’ve been back for a while as he’s not wearing the Embroidered Uniform Guards’ uniform, the one that makes everyone fear for their lives. Instead. he has changed into some casual clothes, but he looks more like a precious sword that has not yet been unsheathed, because underneath the casual clothes, what is packaged is a bloodthirsty, sharp sword.

For a person like this, there is no need for lavish clothes and beautiful embellishments. He is protected by the sharpest edge of the blade and just by standing there, others are unable to ignore him.

The other woman, however, is the Zhou family’s cousin that Tang Fan saw a few days ago. She came to their doors looking for Sui Zhou and left without what she wanted, and today she has managed to meet him coincidentally.

He’s not sure what she said, but a small smile is apparent on Sui Zhou’s icy, stoic face. Her bell-like laughter travels far and the space between both people are not close but also not far, just perfect. Their arms are almost about to touch, but it also looks as if they’re not touching. All these are clear in Tang Fan’s eyes and the scene looks almost flirtatious and sensual to him.

Ah Dong skips into the hall with the dishes, and then says something to the woman. The both of them laugh, seemingly close.

How long have they known each other for them to be this friendly with one another? She’s even closer to her than she is to me, her Da-ge!

That’s what Tang-daren thinks, and he will never admit that all he feels right now is the sour jealousy in his heart. Where he’s standing, he is perfectly hidden by a tree and with the skies so dark, no one realizes that he’s there.

Tang Fan sees the three of them take their seats separately, as if they’re truly about to begin dinner without him, and so he does not walk in further. Instead, he turns around and quietly retreats out of the house.

Night falls and thousands of houses glow with light. This is a time for reunion with the family. Usually Tang-daren surely will not be as indecisive as this, but he’s not sure what’s wrong with him today either. Seeing the three people in the house laughing and having a good time with each other, he feels that he’s an extra, as if the three of them are a family instead. For him to suddenly go in, he feels as if he’s the intruder disturbing them instead.

The most terrible thing is Ah Dong. It is said that when women grow up, they have to be married and her parents and family will not be able to make her stay. Well, she’s not even grown up yet, but she’s already trying to please outsiders!

Tang Fan mumbles and doesn’t realize what’s wrong with his choice of words. Like an old man, he puts his hands behind him and begins to circle around the Sui house, and shortly after he reaches the tiny door in the house’s backyard.

Smelling the aroma of the food wafting through the air from inside the house, Tang Fan rubs at his stomach and feels even hungrier now. He wonders if he should head out and find some food to eat before returning, but after a few consecutive days of rushing about, even though there were times when he sat in a carriage, that is incomparable to someone who spends most of their time hurrying around on foot.

Now that he’s relaxed, his legs ache terribly, and so he’s too lazy to move. Instead, he sits on the threshold of the door and spaces out as he looks at the sky full of stars.

It is almost autumn season and after night falls, it begins to become chilly. After a while, Tang-daren yawns and drowsiness fills him. With his head supported against the door, unconsciously, he ends up dozing off like this.

He descends into deep slumber, unaware of his surroundings.

An unknown amount of time later, it is only after he feels the weight of something over his body does Tang Fan open his eyes.

The skies have darkened completely, but from the light coming out of the courtyard, Tang Fan still manages to see the person before him.

“Guang Chuan?” Tang-daren asks blearily, before he sees the other person next to him. “Ah Dong, what are the both of you doing here?”

It is only then that he realizes that the weight he felt on him earlier was due to Sui Zhou placing his down coat over him to cover his body.

With a hand on her hips, Ah Dong nags, “Da-ge, how can you even say that, we were waiting for you but you didn’t come home. We were so panicked, Sui da-ge was about to go out and search for you, but who knew that you were hiding here? Why didn’t you head inside?”

Having just surfaced to consciousness, Tang Fan’s eyes are confused, his expression blank as he’s still in a half-awake state.

Seeing that Ah Dong wants to continue speaking, Sui Zhou stops her and helps Tang Fan up. Both of Tang Fan’s legs are numb after having sat for so long, and with a grimace, he almost falls forward. Luckily, Sui Zhou is swift to see that and his hands are ever faster, directly slipping around Tang Fan’s waist to support him.

“Can you walk?” Sui Zhou frowns, his expression indicating that if Tang Fan cannot walk, he is prepared to carry him.

To uphold a man’s dignity, Tang Fan quickly says, “I’m okay, I just sat for a little too long, it’ll be fine after standing for a bit.”

“Why didn’t you go inside?” asks Sui Zhou.

He repeats the same question Ah Dong raised earlier.

Tang Fan suddenly feels a little sheepish, and rubbing at his nose, he says, “I was a little tired when I came back, and thought that I’d sit here for a bit. Who knew that I would accidentally fall asleep?”

After answering, he feels that this excuse is ridiculous.

Who is Sui Zhou? Someone who works in the Northern Administrative Court and an expert in interrogations, how can he not tell if what Tang Fan is saying is a lie or the truth?

At the other person’s wordless gaze, Tang Fan feels even more sheepish.

Sui Zhou watches him for a good moment, before saying, “Let’s go back. Ah Dong, go make some ginger soup.”

Ah Dong makes a noise of assent, turning around and running back inside.

No one will reject the warmth that comes from being cared about and Tang-daren is no exception. His little complaints earlier vanish immediately as he watches Ah Dong trot back to the kitchen to make ginger soup with a smile. He feels like his quality of life has increased steadily since taking Ah Dong in as his sister.

Revelling in his happiness for a bit, Tang Fan turns around and sees that Sui Zhou’s gaze is still trained on him. He asks, “What are you looking at me for?”

“You’ve lost weight,” Sui Zhou concludes in three words after eyeing him for half a beat.

“Did I?” Tang Fan touches at his face, he himself does not feel that way at all.

“Hnn, you did,” Sui Zhou says with finality, as if answering his own question. He asks again, “When I wasn’t at home, what did you and Ah Dong eat?”

Tang Fan laughs, “What else could we have eaten? We didn’t manage to complete three meals in a day, I’ve been busy on a case recently, it’s unavoidable that I missed out on some meals.”

“And Ah Dong?”

The young lady picks that time to walk in with the steaming ginger soup, and Tang Fan half sighs and half teases, “She definitely led an even more nourishing life than I did. Sometimes she went to your house to play with your sister and was asked to stay for dinner, then for the night. Other times she ran over to the neighbours’ for dinner. The way she has been passing her days, she’s helped us saved a bit on provisions!”

Ah Dong sticks her tongue out at him before retorting, “Da-ge, who asked you to not come back so often? Sometimes I left food for you, but you didn’t come back to eat and I ended up wasting it…”

Sui Zhou interrupts her complaints and asks Tang Fan, “You haven’t had dinner yet, have you?”

Tang Fan coughs, not answering.

Seeing the situation at hand, there is nothing that Sui Zhou doesn’t understand. Without another word, he stands up and walks out.

Once he leaves the house, Tang Fan drags Ah Dong over, “Who stepped on his toes? Why does it look like someone owes him 800 strings of coins?”

Ah Dong sulks, “Who else, you owe him!”

Tang Fan rolls his eyes, “Stop joking with me, what does this have to do with your da-ge?”

“How does this not have to do with you? We finished cooking and kept waiting for you but you didn’t return, so Sui da-ge let me and Zhou jiejie eat first, he didn’t even touch his chopsticks! You tell me, he didn’t even eat, how can he be in a good mood?”

Tang Fan freezes, “He didn’t eat?”

He saw Sui Zhou and the rest of them seated earlier, about to start dinner.

Ah Dong giggles, “Of course! Sui da-ge is so loyal, and while waiting for you to come back, even when faced with a full table of food, he didn’t touch it one bit! There was also the honey grilled lamb thigh and fu rong eggs that Sui da-ge made himself! He told us to start eating first, Zhou jiejie was still trying to be courteous but I couldn’t resist. I kept drooling, so I just took my chopsticks and…”

The pitiful Tang-daren with his empty stomach, the moment he hears that, his eyes go wide and under Ah Dong’s tantalizing description, he too begins to drool.

Aiyo, if he knew he would have gone in to eat, who cares about face and pride?

Tang Run Qing, Tang Run Qing, pride cannot fill an empty stomach!

He cannot resist but reach over to pinch at Ah Dong’s face, “You little wench, you’re the one with no loyalty, shouldn’t you have left me some?”

Ah Dong retorts, maligned, “Once the honey grilled lamb dish is cold it won’t be delicious anymore! Aiya, Da-ge, you don’t say, Sui da-ge’s cooking skills are really excellent. That lamb thigh was grilled with a golden glaze and was still dripping with oil! When it was almost done, he brushed another layer of honey on it until it was grilled to a crisp. When I ate, it was still steaming hot! Not to mention how tender the meat was, I was thinking, it’s such a pity for da-ge that he will not get to eat such delicious food and no way, I have to help you eat more! So I ate four pieces in a row. I’m so full, and the fu rong egg later was good too, I just couldn’t eat anymore…”

Tang-daren’s agony has long turned into a river of grievances, “Don’t say anymore…”

“Also, Zhou jiejie made two dishes but I didn’t think much about them. I ate one mouthful and didn’t touch it anymore, and I saw that Zhou jiejie herself was unable to eat it as well. Da-ge, just between you and me, I think Zhou jiejie seems to like Sui da-ge, just like how our Ah Qiu jiejie liked you before. During the meal she kept stealing glances at Sui da-ge and he pretended not to see it, the situation was hilarious…”

Ah Dong resembles a little chicken right now, speaking as she laughs, making noises and even gesticulating, her small arms swinging and almost giving Tang-daren a bruised eye.

Tang Fan’s face turns dark suddenly, and he pokes at her, indicating for her to stop.

However, the little girl does not have the mind to listen to him, and continues to gossip about Sui Zhou and his cousin.

“Also also! I even heard Zhou jiejie asking Sui da-ge, ‘Biao-ge, do you remember the promise we made when we were younger?’” Ah Dong imitates Young Lady Zhou’s expression, slanting her eyes to the side and doing her best to portray a shy demeanour.

Tang Fan almost bursts out laughing, and although he wishes to see her continue to act it out, between siblings the principles of compassion and love holds true and so he kindly reminds her, “Ah Dong.”

Ah Dong says irritably, “What do you want, are you listening to me carefully, I’m about to get to the important part!”

Tang Fan pinches at her chin and turns her head to the back, hinting at Ah Dong to look behind her.

And she sees Sui Zhou standing there, looking at her with an expressionless face, and who knows how much he’s heard?

“…”

Ah Dong continues to play dumb, “…”

Sui Zhou shoots her an even look, “Go tend to the fire, there’s porridge on the stove right now.”

As if she was just pardoned, she almost flies as she escapes past Sui Zhou, running towards the kitchen.

Sui Zhou’s gaze lands on Tang Fan’s body.

He blinks, his expression saying ‘I have no idea what she was just talking about’ as he tries to look as innocent and pure as he can.

Sui Zhou says gently, “The ginger soup is cold.”

Tang Fan goes ‘oh’, and hurries to lower his head and drink the soup.

Inside the house, the atmosphere suddenly becomes strange and awkward. However, Tang-daren is fortunately smart and thinks quickly on his feet, immediately thinking of another topic to distract them both.

“How’s the case you went to handle this time?”

Sui Zhou drags a chair over and sits down, “We went to Jiang Xi to investigate the case regarding Ji An Fu Zhi Fu’s Huang Jing Long.”

Tang Fan straightens and asks, concerned, “What did he do?”

“Jiang Xi’s Supervisory Ambassador reported that since Cheng Hua’s 11th year, within three years, Ji An Fu imprisoned a total of more than three hundred people and they were tortured to death by Zhi Fu Huang Jing Long, but he covered the deaths up by reporting these as deaths caused by illness.”

Shocked, Tang Fan exclaims, “The gall of the man!”

Sui Zhou nods, “Yes. So the higher-ups have ordered the Department of Criminal Affairs, the ambassador and Northern Administrative Court to head there and investigate thoroughly. We were also tasked with arresting Huang Jing Long and bring him into Jing city. I was in a rush to leave the city precisely because of this.”

Tang Fan asks, “Then how was it, did everything go smoothly?”

“It was originally quite smooth in process as we had sufficient evidence that even Huang Jing Long could not refute. The total number of people he tortured to death was originally 417, including the 300 odd prisoners, there were dozens of victims who were wrongfully arrested and put into prison, then tortured to death. But when we were clearing out the corpses, we realized there were more than ten bodies missing. When we asked Huang Jing Long again, he was unable to tell us the reason for this.”

“Why?”

“We’re not certain. He insists there weren’t that many people, but the number 417 was totalled after checking with the prisoners and also the families of the deceased who came forward to report on this. Theoretically, there is nothing wrong with this number and in fact, there might be even more.”

Since Ying Zong in the Ming Dynasty, court officials have to pass the highest level of imperial examinations in order to get through the door, and what this means is that one has to pass that exam to attain the right to become an official. Of course, this is not a guarantee and to be promoted into that position, one has to have connections or have good luck. If there is a vacancy, then he can become an official, but no matter how high one rises through the ranks as an official the most they can be is a Xun Fu and there’s no way for him to enter the inner court or have any sort of commanding power.

This is why in the Ming Dynasty, everyone is squeezing their brains to be able to pass the examination.

Then again, after studying so hard for decades and even more than that, after becoming an official, everyone has differing determinations — some of them want to repay and serve their country, others want to serve the public and then there are those who want to earn more money, while others have a passion for power and want to climb even higher. All these can be understood. However, so far he hasn’t heard of anyone working so hard to become a Fourth Rank Zhi Fu official, only to go and torture his prisoners and be reported for it, his reputation destroyed.

What was his motive? Did this Huang Jing Long study so hard he became dumb instead, was forced to go mad and developed a rebellious attitude, which led to him torturing the prisoners to feel a rush of excitement emotionally?

Tang Fan finds this incredibly mind-boggling and finally understands why this case prompted the Embroidered Uniform Guards’ involvement.

“Huang Jing Long didn’t come clean about his motives?”

“He stopped speaking after he was caught and refuses to say anything,” Sui Zhou shakes his head.

After Huang Jing Long was captured and returned to the city, his mission came to a close and the rest of it, other individuals and departments will naturally follow up, which means Sui Zhou no longer has to front the case.

As they speak, Ah Dong finally comes in with bowls and the fragrance wafts over into Tang Fan’s nose with the breeze that came in via the open door. His stomach begins to hunger for food now that the ginger soup has warmed it.

“How fragrant!” Tang-daren cannot help but exclaim.

Ah Dong puts the bowl down and says, “Sui da-ge personally made this porridge, it smells really good! There’s minced meat, mushrooms, coriander and even crushed peanuts in this, Da-ge, Sui da-ge is a really good person, he’s a really good person!”

This young lady was still gossiping about Sui Zhou and his cousin from the Zhou family and after Sui Zhou heard her, she’s now trying to make amends. It’s a pity that she’s still too young and cannot think of any new and fresh vocabulary. Going in rounds, all she can do is repeat that Sui Zhou is a “really good person” several times.

Tang Fan shoots her a look but does not expose her. Instead, he lowers his head and scoops up a spoonful of boiling hot porridge. After blowing at it until it’s cool, Tang Fan then shoves the spoon into his mouth. The rice in the porridge has been cooked thoroughly under the small fire and the aroma of the meat is apparent once he eats it.

With the mushrooms and the peanuts, the taste of the porridge is improved and after he eats a spoonful he doesn’t have to chew much before his mouth is filled with a soft, fragrant substance. For Tang-daren who has been starving for a while, this is the best for his digestion.

Tang Fan doesn’t say another word and begins to eat ravenously. Seeing that, Sui Zhou too picks up his spoon to eat.

After they’re more or less done with their meal and have slowed down in their eating pace, that’s when Sui Zhou asks, “Has there been a lot to do at Shun Tian Prefecture recently?”

Tang Fan remembers the way Sui Zhou asked about him losing weight earlier and shakes his head, “Not from Shun Tian Prefecture.”

He gets Ah Dong to go to sleep first and it’s only then he tells Sui Zhou all about it. However, the case involves the inner court and there are many taboos, so even if he’s close to Sui Zhou, it’s not convenient for him to say more than is necessary. It can be more harm than good for him to know more.

Tang Fan picks a few important sections to elaborate on and the unspoken words in between his sentences, Tang Fan does not need to verbalize in explicit detail either. With Sui Zhou’s intelligence, it is only natural for him to put two and two together.

Sui Zhou listens until he’s done and is silent for half a beat as if thinking deeply. It’s only after a long moment that he speaks, “There are a lot of hidden secrets in this case that have not yet come to light. As an inner court official, Wang Zhi is unlikely to meet any trouble but for you and the position you are in, it’s best not to be involved too deep.”

What he means is clear. Wang Zhi is an inner court official and to the Emperor and Royal Consort, he’s one of their people but Tang Fan is an official outside of that. Moreover, his rank is low. If he knows too much and someone in the ranks higher than he is upset and would like to teach him a lesson, it would be as easy as to wave a hand for them to make it happen.

Tang Fan smiles, “Don’t worry, the murderer has been caught. Anything other than that I am unable to control, and that Eunuch Wang’s affairs, I will not get myself involved in the future.”

As intelligent as Tang Fan is and with all his schemes, he certainly never expected that after that, he will have countless of opportunities to interact and work with Eunuch Wang, and also that he will end up changing Wang Zhi’s shining political career and journey.

He finishes his porridge, sets the bowl aside and praises, “Ah Dong’s cooking skills are already pretty good, but your cooking is much better than hers! In comparison, I seem like a useless thing that cannot even move his four limbs!”

Amusement flashes in Sui Zhou’s eyes, “Since you have us, why is there a need for you to learn?”

You say that, but once Ah Dong marries and you find a wife, what will I do then?

The glutton that is Tang-daren does not feel any happiness at his best friend’s words, and instead becomes disappointed and worried.

Night has fallen, and the both of them chat for a while longer before heading back into their own chambers to rest.

Even though he drank the ginger soup, Tang Fan still catches a cold the next day. This bout of illness is severe, and Tang-daren is defeated by it without any exceptions.

He lies in bed and coughs repeatedly, his body heating up, the fever resulting in his complexion flushing entirely red, and his eyes are glazed.

No pain, no gain and with the pain, the reward that comes with this illness is that he doesn’t even have to head into court or work. Tang-daren is finally able to firmly apply for medical leave and enjoy being a patient at home.

Although it feels terrible to be sick, the treatment that a sick patient gets is obviously different. Someone makes his meals and then brings it right to his mouth, and he doesn’t even have to personally get water to wash his face, because someone will wet a cloth and take the initiative to help him wipe his face.

And yet, Tang-daren still does not feel happy.

Just like what’s happening right now under his eyes — he looks at the plain porridge and pickles before him and can almost feel the blandness on his tongue. He ends up imploring the person in front of him, “Can’t you give me some meat, even if it’s minced beef or some dumplings with meat?”

Sui Zhou looks at Tang-daren’s pitiful expression and feels the urge to laugh, but on the surface, he still persists with that cold, stoic look, “No.”

Tang-daren sneezes so hard his tears are about to fall. His vision becomes blurry and his nose is still itchy. The more he looks, the more pitiful Tang Fan is. Sui-baihu however, truly has a heart of steel and even with Tang Fan like this, he still does not waver. All he does is pass the bowl of porridge over to Tang-daren.

“Are you going to eat it on your own or should I feed you?”

“I’ll eat it on my own! On my own!” Tang-daren puts up his white flag and surrenders.

He’s got to be kidding! If he feeds him by the spoonful, his heroic image would be destroyed if this gets out. It’s just that seeing this bland, tasteless white porridge and the terribly salty pickles, he really has no appetite left.

At this moment, his saviour drops from the sky and lands at his feet.

Ah Dong opens the door and comes in, “Da-ge, there’s someone looking for you outside and he says he’s from the Western Depot.”

As if receiving a huge pardon, Tang Fan is about to put the bowl in his hands down but after an icy glare from Sui Zhou, he reluctantly picks it up again.

Sui Zhou beckons Ah Dong over to supervise Tang Fan, that he has to finish the bowl of porridge no matter what, before turning and walking out. He has just left the room when he sees two people approaching him. The one in the front is wearing casual clothes, but he is walking with both hands behind his back and has a look of arrogance on his face. Just one look and it’s easy to tell that this is a man with power, and Sui Zhou actually does know this person.

===

Notes:

*吉安府知府 ji an fu zhi fu

吉安府 (ji an fu) is the name of the court that Huang Jing Long is an official at. The province/city they’re in is called 吉安 (ji an) and 府 (fu) can mean manor/court/house etc. As for 知府 (zhi fu), this is an official rank name. I’m not very certain on the full list of ranks as there are just too many of them! Local courts, prefectural courts the inner courts and other departments all use different rankings and can be conferred with different titles. The only thing that consistent throughout is the ranking number/level.

*芙蓉蛋 fu rong dan

A scrambled omelette made with barbequed porok cubes, bamboo shoots, shitake mushroom and seasoning.

*表哥/表妹 biao ge/biao mei

Cousin (male) and cousin (female).

#tsomd #the sleuth of ming dynasty #成化十四年 #tsomd novel #fanzhou #fanzhou highlights #tang fan #sui zhou #ahhhh this is my fave truly!!!#so many good tidbits

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myaekingheart · 3 years

Text

128. Eager Secrets

read the scarecrow and the bell on ao3 index | from the beginning | < previous | next >

Rei dug her nails into her palms as she raced toward headquarters. Her head was spinning and she felt dizzy and sick but that meant nothing to what she had to do. She was an ANBU captain. The chaos and responsibility of her role was merely an occupational hazard. She checked the position of the sun overhead to discern the time and prayed she would not be late to the morning briefing. Unlike most mornings, however, today her own laziness was not to blame.

Lady Tsunade had called her into the hokage office bright and early that morning and, like every time such a thing has happened, Rei panicked. Her stomach churned as she got dressed and she braced herself for the worst. She should’ve known sooner or later the hokage would see the error of her ways and rescind Rei’s promotion. It was only a matter of time.

Or perhaps deep down, only a part of Rei had hoped that was the case. Instead, Tsunade presented a proposition: a high-profile assignment for Rei and her team, the likes of which could turn the tides of her reputation in the black ops—for better or for worse.

Rei wasn’t quite sure if she and her team were ready. Stakeouts required precision, unwavering attention, and even worse a certain closeness with your teammates. Their durations were indefinite and within that, there was room for fear. Fear that cramped them into tiny hotel rooms, taking up more space than they could allot. Fear so heavy that not even opening a window could alleviate the weight. The thought of spending days trapped with her team terrified her and for a moment, Rei considered refusing the assignment. But her reputation was on the line…did she really want to convince Tsunade more than she feared she may have that she was not cut out for this position? Sucking in a sharp, definitive breath, Rei agreed to the assignment anyway. They would have a week of regular patrol duty beforehand anyway. It would give Rei ample time to brace herself for what was to come.

As she weaved through the morning crowds through headquarters, Rei repeated Tsunade’s words over and over in her head, mentally bullet-pointing them in hopes that she would not forget the particulars. She may have had a week before they were to set off on this significant mission, but that did not mean she had a week to procrastinate telling the others. Their success relied solely on Rei’s ability to relay this information adequately and succinctly. Rei was the foundation upon which their progress relied. She could not afford to miscommunicate or mess up.

The locker room bustled with women preparing for the day, strapping gauntlets to forearms and stomping their feet into their boots. The white noise of their gossip buzzed in Rei’s ears. She ducked and dodged their unruly bodies as she approached her own locker, pursing her lips as she concentrated on the combination. It was always on mornings such as this that her lock seemed to taunt her, proving more finicky than usual. She turned the dial this way and that, ensuring that the arrow landed precisely on the number she needed, then tugged hard only to find that she had somehow failed.

“R-Rei…?” a voice suddenly stammered from behind.

“What?!” Rei instinctively snapped, whipping around to face her comrade. The shy panic on Mikazuki’s face forced Rei to soften. Sighing, Rei raked her fingers through her bangs and muttered, “Sorry. What do you need?”

“I-I was just wondering if I could talk to you about something? Maybe?” she asked. Unfortunately, Rei knew exactly what was coming. That afternoon in the dango shop had prepared her all too well. While Rei didn’t really have the capacity to deal with this right now, she knew she had no other choice. Somehow she was always the one to mop up Sekkachi’s messes, anyway. Rei motioned for Mikazuki to continue speaking as she turned back to the lock. “S-So about the other night, at the bar…and Sekkachi…I just…”

“Mikazuki, if you want me to be honest” Rei started, voice blunt and exasperated, “I wouldn’t kill myself over it.” She twisted the lock one more time then tugged, but yet again the lock did not open. Rei gritted her teeth, restrained a curse, tried again. “Sekkachi is the kind of person you can’t really trust a hundred percent of the time” Rei continued, “so take anything she says with a giant bucket of salt.”

Mikazuki lingered, knowing that there was likely nothing else to be said on the matter but still feeling unresolved. She didn’t even know why she was confronting Rei about this anyway. She had made her decision, hadn’t she? She told herself she wasn’t going to dwell on Sekkachi any longer. After all, why waste her energy on someone who clearly didn’t care about her? Mikazuki had Tenzo and that ought to have been enough. No, that was enough. And yet something still nagged at the back of her mind. The whole night had passed in a blur, dreamlike and hazy. Mikazuki was in no way drunk—she wasn’t the type—and yet somehow she could not manage to recall the details. Now she was stuck in a mess of feelings she had no idea how to navigate. She merely wanted to know the how and the why, she wanted to dissect Sekkachi’s motives in order to discern how to best move forward.

Unfortunately, Rei didn’t seem to keen on giving solid answers. If only Rei had answers to begin with—she wasn’t even aware Mikazuki was at the bar that night until Sekkachi told her about the voicemail. Her rabid hangover the next morning was testament enough of that. If Mikazuki wanted the whole story, she would have to confront Sekkachi herself—something Rei knew she would never do, for answers she also knew Sekkachi would never give. It was all pointless. Mikazuki was better off just giving up.

Just as Mikazuki opened her mouth to finally counter, however, Arai bounded around the corner and slapped the wall of lockers in greeting. At the same exact moment, Rei twisted and tugged the lock one last time and the impact of Arai’s slam sent the locker door flying open. The lock itself spun out of Rei’s grasp and pinged against the other wall with a metallic clang. “Yo, Rei!” Arai greeted, smug as ever. “I’ve got a question for you.”

Rei grimaced, steadying herself before rummaging through her locker. “Doesn’t everyone?” she muttered sourly under her breath. She afforded a quick glance to the wall clock overhead. She was running out of time. “What is it, Arai? If it’s about our next mission, you’ll learn all about it after the briefing.”

“Oh, no, it’s nothing like that” Arai assured, shaking her head. “I was just wondering…do your parents by any chance happen to work at the bookshop down the street?”

Rei froze, taken aback by the question. “Why do you ask…?” she asked slowly, cautiously. She didn’t think she wanted to know, nor did she want to give Arai answers. The thought of her subordinates having such personal information about her made her feel slimy and vulnerable.

“Well” Arai started, leaning against the lockers. She toed the groutlines in the floor as she spoke. “I was there the other day picking up some stuff for my sister and I overheard one of the regulars, I guess, asking about you.” Rei hated that her first instinct was to ponder which regular it may have been—Mr. Tomoya always seemed to take an interest in her, but so did any other number of repeat customers. “The woman behind the counter looked kind of sick when they brought up your name, so I figured it had to be your mom or something” Arai continued. “Only moms ever look like they’re gonna hurl when people ask about their kids.”

“Yeah, and I think I’m about to hurl, too” Rei muttered disdainfully, shaking her head. She tore her tunic off over her head, tossed it into the back of her locker, held her breath as she shimmied into her undershirt. Her clothes still felt tight and she cursed herself for clearly not taking her diet seriously. “Well, I guess you’ve got your answer, then” Rei replied, her head popping up out of the high neck of her shirt. Her hair frizzed and tangled from the fabric’s static.

Arai watched as Rei turned to step into her pants, but reached out for her forearm to halt her. “Wait a sec, not so fast” she said. “I’ve got one more question.” Rei shot her a sharp glare, sharper than she had intended, but Arai didn’t even seem phased. “Do your parents know you’re an ANBU captain?” the blonde then asked. By the way she arched her brow and smirked, it was clear that Arai thought this was a ridiculous question. She was compelled to ask, anyway.

The question paralyzed Rei. She froze, opened her mouth, then closed it again. It had been a month since her promotion and she still had yet to tell her family. She didn’t know how. Rei knew they deserved to know yet she couldn’t muster the strength. Finally, Rei stammered a hoarse, “W-why do you ask?”

Arai shrugged, turning on her heel and flopping down on the nearest bench. “I don’t know, just the way your mom seemed to talk about you made me suspicious I guess” she explained. “Like they were downplaying your achievements or something. Wasn’t sure if she was totally clueless or if she was just that much of a bitch.”

The idea of someone considering her mother a bitch stung the back of Rei’s throat. Not that Hana Natsuki was perfect—not in the slightest. Her meekness and lack of support over the years certainly contributed to her and Rei’s weak relationship. Hearing someone else refer to her as a bitch, however, felt inappropriate. Only Rei was allowed to say such things about her mother.

“She really ought to have more respect for you if you ask me” Arai continued. She was apparently completely oblivious to the effect her words had on Rei. Mikazuki glanced at the blonde—uncertain, paranoid, scared. A silent plea to quit while she was ahead.

Rei sucked her teeth, strapped on her vest. “Yeah, as if you do” she muttered under her breath. While Arai’s behavior had improved since Rei was first promoted, she was still on thin ice. Rei tightened her ponytail, wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think this is any of your business anyway” Rei snapped. Her voice was sharp, unyielding. She whipped around to face Arai and there was a fierceness in her eyes that startled both her and Mikazuki. “Besides, it’s not good to eavesdrop on the conversations of private citizens” Rei seethed.

Arai blinked, having not expected Rei to grow so agitated. She wondered if she had said anything wrong, but quickly dismissed the idea. She was just curious. Just looking out for her boss. Just wanted to make sure she was earning the respect that she deserved. Arai chuckled under her breath then and muttered “As if we havne’t made our entire careers out of eavesdropping.”

Rei shot her one last warning glare, her fist clenched at her side, before the dull ring of the briefing call crackled on the overhead speakers. The air felt heavy and Rei’s throat was growing tighter by the second. She slapped her mask onto her face and stormed out of the locker room, digging her nails into her palms in an effort to steady her trembling hands.

She settled at the back of the room, leaning against the wall, and sucked in a sharp breath. She was done for. She couldn’t remember anything that Tsunade had relayed to her that morning. All she could think about now was how she had been set up for failure, how her mind could only focus on one thing and one thing only: her parents. She chewed her lower lip, slammed her fist lightly against the wall. Fuck.

#rei natsuki #kakashi x oc #the scarecrow and the bell #naruto #naruto oc #fanfiction

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thepickpocketofdreams · 4 years

Link

In a shameless Cinderella AU, Prince Adrien goes incognito as Chat Noir to find himself a spouse at the most elaborate masquerade the kingdom has ever seen.

Chapter One: In Which Our Protagonists Are Introduced

“You need to relax.”

“You’re not the one who has to find themselves a spouse at a masquerade ball.” It was precisely six-fifteen in the evening, and Prince Adrien was already looking forward to seeing the guests leave. Under normal circumstances, he would have been in his element modelling for his father – King Gabriel’s elaborate balls, though the guests politely pretended otherwise, were usually an excuse to show off his latest designs. Besides, seeing the ballroom full of people made a pleasant change from the echoing loneliness of the castle in his day-to-day life.

Today’s ball, however, was not “normal circumstances”.

“I thought you were ready to start searching?” Nino, his valet, asked as he unfolded a pair of trousers for later and laid them on the bed.

“I am! I just,” Adrien groaned and dropped down next to the trousers, “I’d just rather do it in my own time. This masquerade feels so…unnecessary.”

Nino hummed a sound that was somewhere between you-have-a-point and masquerade-balls-are-fun-so-quit-complaining, as he pulled a shirt from the wardrobe and squinted at it. “It’s not your style, huh?”

“I’m a model, Nino. Everything’s my style.”

His valet heaved a sigh reserved specifically for the terrible puns that, unfortunately, were not uncommon.

Adrien pouted. “Will you ever appreciate my comedic genius?”

“I will, when your jokes are worth laughing at.”

“Ouch.” The Prince feigned hurt, and Nino chuckled.

“Save the wit for your future spouse.”

“Well that’s an inappropriate thing to say about my-”

They were saved from another terrible, tenuously-linked pun, by a knock at the door. It swung open to admit Kagami, head of the Prince’s security force.

“Good evening, your highness.”

“Kagami! Is everything okay?” Despite her brusque nature, Adrien held a soft spot for his bodyguard. Over the years, she’d proven to be a good friend – willing to listen and sympathise, but more than capable of telling him when to pull himself together in a castle of people intimidated by his title.

“All guards are in place for tonight, but it would help if we knew what you’ll be wearing.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “I assume you will be changing into something a little more formal?”

“You would be correct.” Nino picked up Adrien’s mask from where it lay on the windowsill and showed it to her. “Though considering the rate at which he’s been procrastinating, I’ll be surprised if he actually makes it to the ball.”

“Okay fine! I’m changing, I’m changing.” Adrien ducked behind a screen to pull on his formal attire, ignoring the amused look exchanged between the others. “By the way, Kagami, Felix agreed to pose as me so that I can talk to people without panicking them – he’ll be the one in the white swan costume.”

“Thank you for the heads up, I’ll make the guards aware.” Kagami glanced up at the clock. “You have forty minutes. I’ll be at the end of the corridor if you need help wrangling his highness into something resembling a prince, Nino.”

“Thanks, Kagami.”

“I heard that.” Adrien’s hand appeared round the side of the screen to gesture vaguely at her. “I’ll be punctual, I promise.”

“You always are.” With a final nod at Nino, Kagami left the room. Behind the screen, Adrien mumbled as he fiddled with the buttons on his sleeves.

“Need a hand?”

“Please.” Adrien emerged from the screen to hold out his wrists. “I just can’t believe that tonight I’m supposed to meet the person I’ll spend the rest of my life with.”

“And if you don’t?”

“Father says that Princess Lila has…expressed her interest.”

“I see.” Nino pulled a face as he finished buttoning the cuffs. “Well, I’ll be around to point you in the direction of suitable looking guests. And if you’re desperate for a friendly face.”

“Last time you said that, I seem to recall that you vanished off with a certain Lady Alya all night.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

-x-

“You need to relax.”

“But tonight’s the night I might meet Prince Adrien.” Sighing happily, Marinette Dupain-Cheng twirled in front of a mirror, admiring her reflection. On the nearby chaise lounge sat her best friend, Lady Alya Cesaire, who just shook her head.

“Girl, he’s only human.”

“A human who happens to be a Prince!” Marinette clasped her hands. “Not to mention that his father is the best designer of all time, and that Adrien happens to be the most handsome model in the whole kingdom.”

“Well I think his valet gives him a run for his money, but that’s just a matter of opinion.” Alya smoothed down the skirt of her own russet dress. “Just try to keep your cool if you do get the chance to dance with him, yeah?”

“Of course I will!”

“And remember that every eligible person in the Kingdom is attending. So even if you don’t get to dance with the Prince himself, you might still snag yourself a cute lady or lord.”

“I’ll remember.” Marinette touched her hair to check it was still in the two buns that she’d wrestled with earlier. Silver ribbons were twined round each of them to keep them in place, but she wasn’t taking any chances. Not tonight.

Her dress was composed of panels of grey and silver – inspired by the mice that helped with her chores around the bakery each morning. Not the fanciest animal, sure, but Alya had assured her that the Prince prized sweet personalities over preening peacocks.

"Thank you for letting me get ready here, by the way." said Marinette, smoothing out her gloves. "My parents are really busy with the orders for tonight."

"No worries girl. My place is your place, you know that."

They smiled at one another, before Marinette turned back to the mirror and worried at her lip. Alya put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re fine, Mari. You look beautiful.”

“So do you.” she replied. And it was true. Alya’s fox outfit became her, sleek and ruthless and, well…stunning. No wonder the Prince’s valet was head-over-heels for her. “Will Nino be around?”

Alya’s face lit up at the name of her lover. “He said he’ll be there. Though, he might end up having to keep an eye on the Prince, to make sure he doesn’t scare people away with his puns.”

Marinette giggled. Alya (and by extension, Nino) had told her enough stories of the Prince that he felt like a friend. A friend that she hadn’t met yet, but maybe, just maybe, that would change tonight. She’d meet him and he’d flash her that irresistible smile and oh, dancing with him would be wonderful. He’d twirl her under his arm, they’d waltz like they were on clouds and his eyes would just bore into hers and he’d pull her close and –

“Hey Mari, are you even listening?”

“I – ah – of course I’m listening, what do you mean am I listening? I was totally paying attention!”

Alya rolled her eyes affectionately. “I was asking if you were ready to see the masks? Masker Fu dropped them off this morning.”

“Our masks are from Fu?!” This was news. Only the Royal family and nobility could afford masks designed by Fu. His work was the stuff of legends – they said he used magic to get the colours exactly the same shade as the animal they were based on.

“Of course they are. You didn’t think we’d be going in masks from the High Street now, did you?” Alya smirked, holding out an intricately carved box. “Go on.”

Hands trembling, Marinette unclasped the box and lifted the lid, only to gasp and nearly let it fall.

Inside, nestled amongst crimson tissue paper, was the mask. It glimmered faintly under the lamps, silver mixed in with the grey fur. Whiskers protruded from it, softer than they should have been when Marinette stroked a finger along them, tapping the tiny black nose as she picked it up.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Try it on.” Alya urged, placing the box on the windowsill. “I’ll tie it.”

Holding the mask to her face, Marinette felt it mould to her features. It fit like a glove. Deft hands tied the ribbon to secure it, then Alya was tugging her back towards the mirror.

“Take a look.”

Marinette looked.

“Whoa.”

[check out ao3 to follow 😊]

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lilypad-make · 4 years

Text

BNHA Fanfic Recs

[Loading fanfic recs ...]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11366700/chapters/25444890

“It was fun being with you, um, Kouta, right? I’ll see you at the camp.”

Once she was on the bus and out of sight he came to his senses and ran over to his aunt. It’s a spur of the moment desire that makes him want to take the bus to the camp. He doesn’t know why, he just knows he wants on that bus before it leaves.

“Mandalay! Let me ride the bus to the camp,” Kouta demanded, pointing at the bus that Izuku and Eri were boarding. “Er, please?”

Shino, suspicious of the sudden politeness in the way he’s asking, narrowed her eyes. “Why?”

“I… I don’t know. Just let me ride the bus this once. Come on,” Kouta pleaded, anxiously shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20508056

10-year-old Izuku doesn’t know what he’s done to gain All Might’s attention, but he’s definitely not complaining. Or: All Might travels back in time, and he’s not about to make the same mistakes again.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20226478

How Class 1-A functions in the morning. Especially the runners.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21339058

5+1 of Aizawa and his several unruly adopted children, all of whom seem to enjoy giving him grey hair.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20593823

A little more than a year has passed since Izuku first put a foot in UA.

Aizawa Shouta has a white streak in his hair by now.

Those two facts are related.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21336418

Bakugou writes a letter of apology for telling Midoriya to kill himself. [Oneshot]

Wow , it was fic i never knew i needed until I read . It was really sweet.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13392627

Izuku Midoriya is an exemplary hero, but even he cannot carry the weight he's been handed alone. So maybe, it's time to share the load.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21256964#comments

Izuku has been having a hard time recently.

Thankfully, a certain someone helps him feel better.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21348097

Izuku's words were printed on his wrist in loopy, delicate writing.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21327079

"Sorry." he squirmed under their gazes “I can’t.” “Why not?” he looked to the tall blond then to the kids “Cuz… All Might said no?” They stared for a second before Kacchan burst out laughing “Your imaginary friend? You really still believe it?” The other kids were laughing too. He wanted the ground to open so he could hide on it. He told Kacchan about All Might before and even tried to point him, but Kacchan could not see him beside mama. And they couldn’t see him beside them either.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21327400

In which Izuku procrastinates on his homework because there's a super rare Bronze Age All Might figurine on an auction site, and he just has to have it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21190898

It started, as it always seemed to, on what was supposed to be a pleasant day.

---

A Christmas shopping attempt gone wrong, Aizawa and Midoriya have to survive a strange nightmare quirk, all while trying to work out how to get out of there alive. Aizawa is injured, Midoriya is panicked. It's less a question of what could go wrong, but more what could go right.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21122252

Midoriya was pretty short, so he is often overlooked in size and build compared to several of their classmates. But he certainly has put on muscle since school started.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21074648

The first mark Izuku gets is a slight brush of green across his temple. It’s the soft touch of a mother holding her son for the first time. Inko has one to match, the same shade of green staining the tips of her fingers. Hers is more noticeable; Izuku’s tends to blend into his hairline. He loves it anyways. He has to. It’s the only soulmate mark he has. (Or: how Izuku goes from just green to a rainbow, UA-style.)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21066122

Deku responds to a Hero's SOS alert with his mentor, and it all goes wrong.

Mind control is not fun.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20960540/chapters/49836386

Hisashi Midoriya's life is on a steep decline when he received the news that his (now separated) wife has died in a villain attack, leaving him to rush back to Japan from the U.S. Putting your life back on track isn't easy, and Hisashi shouldn't have to do it alone. It takes nerve to step out from the underground, and ask for help. But he'd do it-- anything-- for Izuku.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20854136

Aizawa bit back a curse – he should have caught this sooner. His own arms still ached occasionally from being broken at the USJ, and that had only been once. Midoriya had broken his arms how many times now? At least five times, and each of them had been ugly, complex fractures that spanned from his shoulder to the delicate bones in his hands. _ or: midoriya has chronic pain, and tries to hide it. aizawa deals with this, and learns something surprising along the way.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20967203

Deku vs. Muscular, from Kota's POV.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21405049

“Hello All Might. We have your son. He is alive, for now. By the time you receive this message, Izuku here will be buried alive. You have 6 hours before he runs out of air, maybe less. If you ever want to see him again, you will send us the ransom money to a secure account, details will be provided in the following text. Once we have received the money, we will give you the coordinates to where your son is buried. There will be no further communications.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18796387/chapters/44597800

Toshinori is given the opportunity to undo over two decades of suffering by going back in time and ending All For One. And that’s just the beginning. He goes on to use his knowledge of the future to correct errors of the past, and makes his new reality infinitely better than the one he came from. Better in every way but one.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20916095/chapters/49723406

Izuku is known as Deku online. He's an analyst of quirks, sometimes even working with the local detective, Tsukauchi, on a case.

He meets new friends, builds a few relationships, and slowly crushes on his best friend. But then he's thrown into the General Studies Course at U.A.

It doesn't help that All for One is showing an interest in him at all.

Luckily Aizawa and Yagi will watch out for him.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21298550

One unassuming autumn afternoon, sandwich deliverer Izuku meets Ochako Uraraka, a notable young sidekick in the rescue hero scene. With her gracious attitude and infectious smile, he finds himself more than a little smitten. But after eighteen years of self-doubt and loneliness, he struggles to imagine a reality where anything good can come of pursuing her. Fortunately, Ochako turns out to be a force of nature he never could have anticipated.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21449401

“I almost always have bruises.” “Even when you dream?” “Probably.” “What do you mean ‘probably’?” “I mean, I usually don’t remember the parts of my dreams that hurt.” “Oh, so you’ll just forget this entire thing ever happened, then?” “Nope. I just tend to forget the parts that hurt,”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13816197/chapters/33193971#workskin

One may think that Inko’s troubles began when she opened her apartment door and found Izuku cheerfully asking her if they could let All Might stay with them just for a few days, since his apartment was “temporarily inhabitable”. Or that they really started when she noticed that All Might was already there, a suitcase in his hands and an apologetic smile on his face. Or when she realized that with just for a few days Izuku meant more or less the whole holidays and with being “temporarily inhabitable” they actually meant that the young family living in the same building just discovered their toddler had a very peculiar, resilent and especially poisonous quirk which had forced local authorities to isolate and quarantine the whole place for the time being.

But while that was undoubtedly the beginning of the relatively awkward cohabitation that followed, it wasn’t the real start of Inko’s troubles. She wasn’t the kind of person who could let anyone, and especially All Might, spend all his holidays alone in a hotel room.

No, her troubles definitely began when she actually started wishing that All Might was spending his holidays alone in a hotel room. Alone with her.

toshinko pairing BUT THIS IS SO HILARIOUS OH MY GODS

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12085710/1/Just-another-night

Setting Toshinori and Inko up for a date was not enough for the kids of Class 1-A. They also want to see how the evening turns out. Following the pair is the logical consequence - or at least that's what they tell themselves. (Sequel to "New Management" by blacknovelist55)

THIS IS SO SWEET AND FLUFFY AND I’m going to die of cavities at this rate .

Hope you all enjoy reading the fanfictions !!

#bnha fanfic recs #boku no hero academia fic rec #boku no hero academia #bnha fanfiction #bnha

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fandom-blackhole · 6 years

Text

Of a Juliet and an Einstien (Tony Stark x Reader High School AU)

AN: Hello my beautiful subjects! This is the first request that I recieved and I hope it is everything that you wanted! I am happy with the way that the story turned out. Now, I did just finish writing it and just briefly looked over it so if there are any mistakes, please forgive me and tell me what you notice and I’ll try to get it fix asap. Any enjoy the story! XOXO Queen Hannah of the Fandom Hell Blog

Fandom: MCU

Request: Yes! @carolyn-stark-91 : Hello, I was wondering if you could write a Tony Stark story for me. I’d like a high school AU where tony is the usual popular tech nerd and I’m a theatre geek who doesn’t really have any friends but homecoming or a dance is coming up soon. Please and thank you. If you need anymore info or have any questions just go ahead and ask me.

Words: 2716 (It got away from me a bit, but that’s okay!)

Warnings: Tony Stark..... I’d say thats it

Summary: Reader is a theater geek that has a big crush on the oh so popluar tech nerd Tony Stark, that causes a series of events to happen before the school play and Homecoming.

It just had to be him didn’t it. It had to be the most popular, and possibly the smartest, guy in school that I fell for. Me, the nobody theatre geek who most of the classmates ignored, had an impossibly large crush on the popular tech savvy Tony Stark. My heart just loved to torture me didn’t it. It was so cliche the lowly nerd falling for the popular guy. I doubt he even realizes we have four of our core classes together. I doubt he could pick my face from a crowd of students. I doubt he even knew my name. Hell, why would he when he had a gaggle of girls around him giving him attention at any given moment? Why would he notice the one girl sitting in the back of the room daydreaming about a relationship that would never be? It really was a pointless crush, one that definitely wouldn’t lead to anything. So why should I get my hopes-

“Geez I really need to start paying more attention to my surroundings. Sorry about bumping into you, (y/n).”

I look up holding my head only to realize who it was and look back down quickly and start gathering my things. Speak of the Devil and he shall appear. Tony Stark. Of course it was Tony who bumped into me. Wait, had he said my name? No, I had to have imagined it, right? Hurriedly, I tried to gather all of my things so that I could rush away as quickly as possible. As I was reaching to grab my playbook, it was grabbed by the same man that bumped into me. Mentally cursing, I stood up and watched the ground hoping he would hand me the book and we could part in silence.

“A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” of course, I was never lucky, “Are you in the play?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but my throat clammed up and my mouth became dry, so I just nodded my head, while still looking down at the floor. I heard pages flipping and I looked up at his hands, and paled slightly. He was looking through the pages, and from what it looked like, he was reading my notes I had written in the margins. Taking a quick glance at his face, I saw he had a small smile resting there; a smile that made my heart flutter like a butterfly trying to take off in flight. When he looks up from the book and meets my gaze I can feel the blush starting to burn on my skin.

“You really take this stuff seriously, don’t you,” he gave a small smirk, “You must be pretty good too, from your notes I gather you got the main girl’s part. When is the play? I’d like to go. Just want to see if all your hard work,” he holds up the book in his hands, before finally handing it back to me, “pays off.”

The smirk he is giving me almost makes my brain decide to jump out the nearest window, but, thankfully, it doesn’t and I manage to squeak out a quiet, “Two...It’s in two weeks. The last night is the day before Homecoming.”

Heart thudding and feeling dizzy, I look into his eyes, big mistake on my part. His breathtaking smoky topaz eyes, that I could just spend all day staring into, stared back for what was a few seconds but seemed like eternity.

“Well then, my fair Juliet, I shall see you then. If not sooner,” he jokingly bows before taking a few steps backwards smiling once more, then turning around and heading in the opposite direction, to what I could only assume to be the school’s tech lab. I stood there for a few minutes before I notice a teacher walking in my direction, so I turn and start heading towards the theater department to practice my lines.

It’s not until a few days later, three days to be specific, that I start noticing that the girls who normally swarm around Tony are actually standing at a distance from the man himself. Which is odd. Even the head cheerleader, Virginia or Pepper Potts, is giving him space. Usually she especially was almost attached at the hip with him at any given moment. Curiously, I started paying more attention to my surroundings more, instead of just zoning out, and I started noticing that in certain classes I could feel eyes staring at me from certain places in different classrooms, but every time I looked behind me to see just who it was that was watching me, I could never catch anyone. It was actually starting to frustrate me, but I just brushed it off as paranoia. The play nights were fast approaching and I was just probably getting antsy, it happens every year. This year just wasn’t any different, right?

Shaking my head and clearing my thoughts, I gathered my things and headed towards my locker to grab my lunch and play book, planning on eating outside under the tree next to the office entrance. It was always quiet out there and perfect for practicing my lines. Nobody ever seemed to want to eat outside, I never understood why, bugs maybe? Whatever, it’s their loss; more silence for me. At least that’s what I thought.

Once I had gotten settled and had opened my book to the page I was working on memorizing, I grabbed and apple out of my lunch bag and took a bite while ‘acting’ out the part I was reading. After a couple of minutes and half of my apple being eaten, I was broken from my thought process by two voices. Two very distinctly male voices, that seemed to be coming in my direction. Panicking, I grabbed my things and tried to hide behind the tree before the two got any closer. Once they got close enough for me to make out their conversation, I paled even more.

“Tony, I told you the bot wasn’t ready. The stabilizers aren’t ready for this kind of wind! Now look at the poor thing, we have to start all over!”

“Calm down, Bruce, we were going to have to take the thing out for a test run eventually. Plus, she didn’t do as bad as I thought she was going to do, so that’s a plus.”

“Sometimes you’re insufferable, you know that? You’re lucky your my only friend.”

“Hmmm sounds like a persona-”

Straining your ears I listen as their footsteps come closer to my tree, and I pray to every god in every religion that neither of them notice me. Thankfully, today the gods seem to be in my favor as neither of them notice my presence. Okay, well the gods are somewhat in my favor as I notice my playbook isn’t with the things I grabbed.

“What is that Tony? Some kind of book,” I hear one voice, who I assume to be Bruce Banner, one of Tony’s close friends in the tech lab, ask. I hear the rustling of pages being turned and I hold my breath.

“Yeah,” I can hear the smirk, that I’m sure he is wearing, in his voice, “it’s a playbook, and I know exactly whose it is.”

Bruce sighs and probably rolls his eyes, “Let me guess it's one of those girls’. You know the ones that are usually surrounding you when you aren’t in the lab?”

“No, god no. This girl, she’s different Bruce. She doesn’t crowd around me like the others. She different, Juliet isn’t like those other boring girls. She’s interesting,” his voice softens at the end, and from what I could tell his smirk turned into more of a smile.

“Okay whatever you say Romeo,” Bruce chuckles out and turns and starts walking towards the school doors.

“Come on Tony, we need to get back inside before lunch ends.”

I finally let out the breath I had been holding and I slump to the ground holding my chest, my heart felt like it was actually going to take flight like if I let go. Tony actually noticed me. He said I was different from the other girls. He said I was interesting. Taking deep breaths I finally come out from behind the tree with all of my stuff and notice that Tony had actually taken my playbook with him. Now’s when I can panic. How am I supposed to get it back? I can’t just go up to him and be like, ‘Hey I was outside hiding behind the tree the whole time you and Bruce were talking. Can I get my playbook back?’ God no, I think I’d die of embarrassment before I even go close to him! I mean it’s not like I really need the book anymore with the play only a week away now, but that’s not really the point. The point is that Tony Stark has my playbook and I had no idea how I was going to get it back.

Scared, I walked back into the school and headed to my locker to exchange my my books and put lunch away. While walking to my next class all I could think about was how much my life had changed of the course of the last few days, and how it only started when I ran straight into my crush.

The rest of the day went relatively smooth if you don’t count my constant panicking, and almost having a heart attacks every time I caught even small glance of Tony. It wasn’t until then end of the day, after I left the theater room late after having an in depth talk about your character with Mr. Brennan, the theater director.

The hallways had already cleared, which i were thankful for, and I were the only student in sight. I walked at a leisure pace towards my locker, and took my time opening it. I was in no real rush to leave. The teachers had gone easy on homework for the day, meaning I had time to procrastinate. I wasn’t until I had my locker open that I noticed that something was different with my locker. There was a letter sticking, only slightly, out of the little slits at the top of the locker’s door. Grabbing the letter, I stuff it in my binder to read once I was home and in my room. It wasn’t until I noticed that my playbook was in my locker on top of all of my other books, that I noticed something was up. How had it gotten there? Tony had picked it up outside. Does this mean he knew where my locker was? Or did he just turn it in and the office had someone put it in my locker? No, they would have called me to the office and gave it to me after scolding me about losing the book in the first place. So had Ton,y somehow gotten into my locker?

Blushing, I quickly looked down the hallway only to see that there was no one around. Grabbing the letter from where I had stuck in my binder, getting home could wait. I needed to know how that book had gotten back into my locker, and the letter might hold some clues. As soon as I opened the letter and I glanced at the handwriting my heart went a flutter for what seemed to be the millionth time just that day. I really needed to get myself under control.Taking a breath I began to read the letter.

Dear Juliet,

Found your book outside today during lunch. Figured you’d want it back as soon as possible so here I am your knight in shining armour. I waited to give it to you in person for a bit, but you must have been running late so I just left it in your locker and am leaving this note.

You’re Welcome,

Your Einstein

P.S. I promise I just set the book in there and didn’t go snooping through your stuff. If you don’t believe or trust me Bruce was there and he wouldn’t let me. See you at the play, or sooner.

I read the letter over a couple of times before pressing it to my chest and smiling like the giddy idiot that I am. He had actually waited at your locker for you so that he could give you your book back. God, he was making your small, yeah right, crush on him grow, and now it seemed impossible for me to get over it. I guess only time could tell.

Nothing to big happened in the days leading up to the play dates. Things had changed now though. Tony’s usual gaggle of girls were left abandoned and had to latch onto the next best target, which just so happened to be Steve Rogers the star of the football team go patriots. Tony himself had taken it upon himself to move himself next me in every class we shared, even in the classes we had assigned seats, which was kind of funny because hearing him argue with the teacher was just comical in itself. I found myself smiling more often now. Tony always seemed to go out of his way in the halls to say something, or just give me a cheesy smirk paired with a wink, everytime that he saw me. I honestly don’t know what changed, but I could seriously start to feel my feelings for him start to change from a simple crush to liking him wholeheartedly and wanting to actually be with him.

It wasn’t until the day of the last play performance that things starting picking up again. When I was leaving the school that afternoon I found two things taped to my locker, a yellow rose with red tips and a note that said, I’ll see you tonight, Your Einstein. My heart fluttered and I smiled the first big smile I’ve smiled in who knows how long and I took the rose and note after grabbing my thing and I went home to get ready for later that night.

I was a nervous wreck throughout the entire night, but I made it through, and with my best performance yet in my opinion, and also Mr. Brennan’s. After we had done our final bow and gave our speeches about how lovely the play had been this year, and how much we were going to miss the senior, we finally went back to the dressing rooms and on the vanity I had claimed as mine, there was another rose almost identical to the one I found on my locker earlier. I picked it up and smiled and smelled the beautiful flower. I was startled out of my little world I was in when someone cleared their throat behind me. Turning around quickly, I almost drop the rose in my hand out of shock.

“Hey there Juliet,” standing there, with a dozen more of the roses, was none other than Tony with a large smile on his face, “That was a really moving performance out there. You were beautiful and amazing. I’d say your hard work really did pay off.”

I smiled and walked towards him, completely oblivious to the fact that the rest of the cast, the stage hands, and Mr. Brennan had all gathered around to see what was going on. Once I was within arms reach Tony handed me the bouquet.

“Thank you,” I just smiled up at him, “Thank you for coming, and gosh thank you for the roses,” now I was definitely blushing, but to hell with it, how could I not be with Tony looking at me like that? He grinned and lowered his voice so that he knew only I could hear him, “Dad always said to know my flowers and their meanings, said they might come in handy. I’d say that they did. Want to know what these rose’s meanings are,” I just nod still smiling, “They stand for falling in love. Juliet, I really like you and I think I right to say that you like me too,” all I could do right now is nod as my heartbeat faster that I thought humanly possible, “(y/n) would you go to Homecoming with me?”

#mcu #tony stark x reader #high school au #tech nerd! tony #theater geek! reader #iron man #tony's a nerd #bruce banner #roses #cheesy #im proud of this #a midsummer night's dream #technology #acting #school play

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omgkatsudonplease · 6 years

Note

how about phichuuri and ‘nicest thing’ by kate nash just to eff me up

everyone’s been sending me breakup songs adele, what the hell do y’all take me for? 😂😂😂

The first time Phichit Chulanont sees Yuuri Katsuki, it’s on a grainy YouTube video feed of the Junior Grand Prix, and the older skater is sixteen and beautiful as he undulates to the violins of “Lohengrin”.

Even at that age, Yuuri Katsuki is already a steadily rising star, an international tour de force who’s clearly God’s gift to step sequences. And had it not been for how easily he seems to choke before major competitions, he’d probably have completely mauled Viktor Nikiforov’s junior world titles by now.

Phichit falls anyway. It’s almost as easy as breathing.

The first time Phichit meets Yuuri in person, it’s rinkside at Junior Worlds. Phichit’s family had pulled several strings to get the competition in Bangkok for his birthday, and Phichit is a bright and beaming birthday boy in his flower boy outfit.

He pushes a bouquet of bright red roses in Yuuri’s arms, grinning from ear to ear. “You skated so beautifully,” he says. Yuuri flushes as hard as the roses, tucking his face behind the bouquet.

“Thank you,” he mumbles from behind it. There’s a hamster plush dangling out of the crook of his arm, because he had once said in an interview that he had watched Hamtaro as a child (not that Phichit would know, of course, or have talked about it for ages). With slightly trembling fingers, Yuuri hands the hamster plush to Phichit, who takes it like it’s the Holy Grail.

“I hope you keep skating, too,” says Yuuri seriously.

“Okay,” agrees Phichit. “So we can be on the same ice together again?”

Yuuri nods. Phichit squeezes the hamster, and watches as the other boy heads for the boards.

Yuuri wins silver to Giacometti’s gold. Phichit cheers for him anyway.

The first time Phichit skates with Yuuri, they’re both proteges under Celestino Cialdini. Phichit’s been with CiaoCiao for far longer than Yuuri; his family had insisted on sending him to the States for both his schooling and training.

“We’ll be on the same ice every day, isn’t that exciting?” Phichit asks. Yuuri is notoriously reticent in his press, and quiet even out of it, but he smiles and nods all the same as he laces up his skates in the bleachers by the rink. “I think this will be your year, Yuuri, I bet you’ll make it to the GPF!”

“What about you?” asks Yuuri, raising an eyebrow. “Aren’t you trying to qualify, too?”

“Well, I just want to try my hardest and have fun,” says Phichit, shrugging. “I don’t have any quads under my belt just yet, and I don’t have to get out of juniors until next year, so.” He shrugs. “I’m not in a rush to master quads, anyway; I want to get better PCS first.”

Yuuri hums, stepping out onto the ice. Phichit follows him, mirroring his choctaws and figures with wide-eyed admiration.

“So you’re living in Detroit now?” he asks. “Where?”

“Celestino has a spare bedroom,” says Yuuri, flushing pink. “It’s temporary, until I get my own place –”

“Don’t worry,” says Phichit immediately. “My uncle has an apartment here that I’m taking care of for him. It’s not far, and he never visits, so he won’t mind.”

Yuuri blinks. “Are you sure about that?” he asks hesitantly.

The first time Phichit realises that whatever it is he’s tucked into his heart – whatever snarl of emotion that comes raging to the forefront whenever Yuuri looks over at him from under his floppy black fringe – is futile is when he notices Yuuri hanging up his collection of Viktor Nikiforov posters on the wall of his bedroom in their (well, his uncle’s) apartment.

No, that’s a lie. Phichit has known about Nikiforov for ages. Everyone who’s a fan of Yuuri Katsuki has known about Nikiforov ever since that one interview when he’d blurted out the skater’s name as his inspiration, blushing harder than a schoolgirl being forced to tell the name of her crush under pain of truth or dare.

Phichit watches the static faces of the silvery legend being mounted up one after another, the slide and slam of command strips being stuck to the back of each poster like nails being hammered into his heart. It’s one thing to read about Yuuri’s devotion in magazines and blogs, it’s another to see it in person, laid out through decades of careful memorabilia and idolisation.

That’s when Phichit knows, too, that Yuuri must never know about the skip in his own heart whenever Yuuri turns to him, whenever Yuuri smiles, whenever Yuuri does that little furrow of his brow when he’s deep in thought about something. His long hours at the rink, his dedicated figure-tracing, his tendencies to procrastinate on his assignments for school by watching figure skating tape over and over and over again.

Yuuri Katsuki will never love him the way Phichit wants him to, so he breaks his own heart and tapes it back up.

Yuuri doesn’t need to know.

The first time Phichit touches Yuuri, it’s almost an accident.

Phichit likes to think himself a very tactile person, someone who had been reared with hugs and kisses and doting attention from his large, loving family. Yuuri, too, has a family who loves and supports him, given their cheering him on across the grainy Skype feed every week, but physical contact is much less freely bestowed among the Katsukis. There are other ways to express love, and Phichit picks up on all of them almost immediately.

Yuuri is a thoughtful flatmate, picking up after Phichit’s occasional messes, doing the dishes without nary a complaint. Phichit tries, too, but Yuuri is too perfect in this regard, sometimes – he falls to chores like clockwork, even before Phichit thinks about them. The only thing he has some resistance about is laundry, and that’s probably too personal a thing for Phichit to take care of.

Still, touching. Phichit likes to think he’s tactile, but only with permission. So he does freeze apologetically when his fingers brush across Yuuri’s forearm in thanks for doing the dishes one night, and for a moment the two of them stare at one another like deer caught in the headlights.

And then Yuuri smiles, and relaxes, and Phichit tries hard to hide the way his knees melt at that.

Yuuri gravitates towards him almost unconsciously from there, curling up with Phichit on the couch or in their beds whenever they’re spending time together. When Phichit introduces him to The King and the Skater, Yuuri lies for most of the movie with his head in Phichit’s lap, riffing on the inaccurate figure skating and laughing at the dated special effects.

Phichit’s pretty sure he’s never heard any sound nicer. At least, besides “Shall We Skate?”, which is currently playing. On the screen, Arthur and Sakchai wobble out onto the lake, the king’s hand never leaving the skater’s.

“I want to skate to this someday,” Phichit says, his fingers fixated on Yuuri’s fingers. “Like, as a routine.”

“That sounds fantastic,” Yuuri remarks, flexing his fingers (and Phichit’s heart, by proxy). “You’d do it better than those two.”

“Hey,” chides Phichit. “I’ll have you know that Kenji Miyamoto choreographed these sequences.”

Yuuri laughs. “He must not have been trying that hard,” he replies. “You’d skate everyone in this movie under the table, Phichit-kun.”

Phichit would sooner die than admit that his heart had grown ten times lighter at that compliment. “Thanks, Yuuri,” he says sweetly. Yuuri’s eyes sparkle as he turns his attention back to the screen.

“Come on, you can clearly tell he has a skating double in that shot,” he whines. Phichit laughs at that. He reaches out, taking Yuuri’s hand, and wishes that he didn’t have to let go.

The first time Phichit loses Yuuri, Yuuri qualifies for the Grand Prix Final and then comes in sixth.

Yuuri goes home to Japan soon after, and soon after that Phichit hears through his burgeoning Instagram friendship with Christophe Giacometti that Viktor Nikiforov is looking for the Japanese skater. Chris won’t specify why, but Phichit has some suspicion it has to do with the video of Yuuri skating to “Stay Close to Me” that has gone viral.

It doesn’t come as much of a surprise for him to get a panicked text from Yuuri about Viktor showing up in Hasetsu. He’s been preparing for this day for years, it seems.

From the moment he first saw Yuuri to now, he had always been preparing to let him go.

The first time Phichit meets Viktor Nikiforov, the love of Yuuri’s life is helping himself to hot pot with the hunger of a man who’s been teased with Yuuri Katsuki’s thighs for years. So of course Phichit understands, perfectly, why Nikiforov seems to press himself closer to Yuuri the drunker he gets.

“Congratulations,” he tells Nikiforov a couple days after, moments before the gala exhibition. Yuuri is resplendent in his blue Stammi Vicino exhibition outfit, oblivious to the world a couple meters away. Phichit himself is skating to Kate Nash. It’s a more introspective exhibition than his usual exuberant ones, but he felt that the occasion warranted something like this.

“Interesting choice of music,” Nikiforov remarks.

Phichit smiles. It has a lot of teeth. “I’m working on strengthening my PCS,” he replies.

“A wise decision,” agrees Nikiforov, his expression carefully neutral.

“I learn from the best,” replies Phichit. “Take care of him.”

Nikiforov relaxes, but barely. He nods at Phichit, once, twice, just as the spotlight dims on the ice and the first notes of “Stay Close to Me” begin to play.

Phichit turns towards the ice, too, as the first and brightest star in his life takes to the ice. Yuuri is even more beautiful in person, the light soft across his delicate features.

It’s not the first time Phichit wished that things could’ve been different.

And it won’t be the last.

#phichuuri #viktuuri #victuuri #yoi #lily's dabbles #sparklingwaterbabie #ask

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aceofaces20 · 7 years

Note

What would be a valid thing to submit as evidence for adhd? I feel like my teachers never noticed anything, all it ever says on my report is 'quiet', and im in the uk and you need school reports for diagnosis, and i feel like i wont be taken seriously cos they dont say 'bouncing off the walls' or something

I feel you, nonny. I wasn’t diagnosed until college because I was just “quiet.”

Odds are, if a lot of the symptoms add up enough to make you SUSPECT you have ADHD, you probably have it. But more research is always good!

So like many things, ADHD is a spectrum. The two ends of it are Inattentive to Hyperactive- and then you have people like me, in the middle, with the Combined version. Some people have more Inattentive than Hyperactive, some have more Hyperactive than Inattentive. Everyone who has ADHD experiences the symptoms a little differently.

You can find about six thousand symptoms lists online, but here I’ll tell you things that usually don’t end up on those lists that my therapist told me a lot of her patients ended up experiencing aside from listed symptoms.

(Note: Initially I tried to keep these short. Yeah, that didn’t work. I bolded the important parts.)

1. Insomnia, or at least a super screwy sleep schedule. No joke, this can be super detrimental and will only serve to exacerbate your symptoms. “Just set a sleep schedule!! You’ll feel better!” they all say- Thanks Barbara if I had any control over when my brain chooses to sleep at all I wouldn’t have this issue, ok?

-a solution to this is to, in all actuality, condition yourself. Start ONLY using your bed for sleep. Get a little chair or something in your room if you’re also a hermit like I was growing up (mushroom chairs are gr9) and once you get out of bed, don’t let yourself get back on it for more than a few minutes unless you’re going to sleep.

Some nights it’s not enough, but in general for me personally this has been an actual lifesaver- I can go from being not tired to exhausted at the drop of a hat in normal life anyway (another symptom they don’t usually tell you about) so it’s nice to be able to make it work for me for once- I get into bed, maybe spend 30 minutes restless and then I’m out.

2. On the subject of sleep. You kids ever heard of the sleep of the dead? Because guess what, I have ignored literal fire alarms in dorms because of it. About 1-2 hours into my sleep I enter a state akin to a bear hibernating. I have slept through wake-up alarms, slept through emergency alerts, slept through FIRE alarms, slept though friends and family attempting to wake me… you get the picture.

3. On the note of the hibernating bear. You constantly wake up angry (or at least disgruntled) at the universe and take a really, really long time to power on. No, I’m not talking “a case of the mornings.” I’m talking it takes me until noon some days to actually feel somewhat alert. I’m talking feeling nothing but seething rage at anyone who tries to engage you in higher brain function before you’re fully awake.-the seething rage is more personal to me, but, every single last one of my friends who’s ADHD has issues getting up in the morning. There’s hating mornings, and then there’s hating mornings.

4. About mornings. You’re constantly late to anything in the morning because you just couldn’t “get going.” i.e., you knew and 100% wanted to get up and get moving but your brain said “nah, let’s just sit here on tumblr mobile for a while k?”-it’s very difficult to describe this part of executive dysfunction with words, because it comes off as laziness to a lot of neurotypicals. It’s not laziness. It’s having the motivation and and will and the drive to do something and not forgetting about it and it still doesn’t get done.

“Why didn’t you do x?” they’ll ask. And you just sit there thinking shit, you meant to, really, honest to god meant to, it was on your brain to do and yet all you could actually do that day was sit around and watch terrible TV. And then you feel terrible because YOU think you’re lazy.It’s not laziness. It’s executive dysfunction.

5. Another not so well known EXDYF fact: Mental math or memorization for you will always be the literal bane of your existence. Teachers always told me I was a “smart kid” in school (I am, but not the point) and then they’d wonder why I couldn’t memorize a five line poem.

Or I’d start off with a 60 on a math test, until my teacher would comb through my work by hand (only useful math teacher I ever had in high school tbh) and I’d end up with a 92 because nearly all of my mistakes involved basic arithmetic errors. Even though I was able to use a calculator on the test.

(One time I decided 21-19=14. To this day 8 years later I still do not know from what abyss my brain pulled that info from.)

“You’re smart! Just focus!” I can’t choose what my brain decides to focus on that easily, Sharon, not without a lot of crying and panicking.

6. But wait! You say. I have really obscure information from a fandom that I can infodump on someone at a moment’s notice! Surely that means I’m just Lazy and Unmotivated, right? I guess I just can’t be bothered to memorize the important stuff.

*Loud buzzer noise* Stop right there. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

I will take you by the shoulders and look deep into your eyes and make you realize that guess what? If you have an ADHD brain, you have NO control over telling your brain what is important and what is not. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Your brain decides, and you usually get no say in the matter.

This sounds bad, I know. And in terms of school, birthdays, appointments, it’s terrible. But you’re not helpless. It sounds trite, but, get a good goddamn calendar app on your phone and use the hell out of it for appointments and birthdays. And for school? Find those fandoms and use mnemonics. No, seriously.

7. Also on school: You procrastinate the hell out of everything. And I’m not talking normal “haha I’ll do it later!” procrastination. I’m talking serious, problematic, REPEATED “why the fuck can’t I just do it on time like a normal person” procrastination where you start blaming yourself for not doing it sooner like a neurotypical.

Listen, buddy ol’ pal (or however that goes), you’re not neurotypical. But listen- there’s actually a medical reason why you do this.

So everyone’s brains have reward systems, right? Your brain gives you the feel good when you do something you think you should. And later, a brain remembers that it got the feel good for doing the thingy thing.

In a brain with ADHD, that reward system malfunctions. Sometimes critically. Your brain chucks so much stuff it deems “unnecessary” out the window it chucked out that feel good you got when you turned in that homework on time, or cleaned out your car, or did some pilates for 30 minutes.

8. You want to know what doesn’t help with number 7 there? Another thing that won’t show up on symptom lists but that virtually everyone I know with ADHD (quite a few, actually. Turns out we hang out in packs because we’re usually the only people who can understand each other) about ADHD is how daunting large tasks or projects seem to an ADHDer.

So listen, more medical talk here. Remember that EXDYF thing? Yeah, this is part of that.

EXDYF makes it very, very hard (almost impossible, sometimes) to break down large tasks into smaller, more feasible tasks. You get nervous the longer you put off that paper (“this isn’t something you can spit out overnight!”) You’ve been sitting in front of your computer for hours, and the only word you have written down is “The”.

Honestly, I’m not sure why it’s actually super hard to break down large undertakings into smaller tasks for the ADHD brain. But! Solution.

-if you’re having a problem breaking down ANY sort of task, I promise there’s someone else who’s done it online.

Need to write a paper? Use a template. Need to clean out your car? Find a checklist, or have a friend make you one (cause Lord knows I can’t make one on my own). Need to make a presentation? Find a sample one online. Hell, this even works for taxes. (Gasp!)

Do NOT be afraid to ask for help with even personal large undertakings. If your friends are actually your friends, then they’ll relish the chance. Especially when you can turn around and blaze through a quarter of the important project you two (or however many) have due next week in four hours because of hyperfocus.

9. So, your focus. Totally trash, right? That is, until you hyperfocus.

Hyperfocus, to a neurotypical, probably sounds great. Tune out all distractions and get shit done, right?

Sure, Linda, if you can call being able to ignore things like the need to sleep, eat, and use the bathroom “tuning out distractions.” Time becomes a literal illusion. And damn do you pay for it later by your brain not wanting to do anything at all.

On the flip side, this is why ADHD people make fantastic emergency workers like EMTs and firepeople. If you learn what to do with adrenaline when you start feeling it, you feel like you could punch Satan himself when you’re riding an adrenaline+hyperfocus high. Combine that with the fast-paced, unexpected nature of such jobs and and you have a happy ADHD brain because it’s never bored.

10. Because boredom feels like death. No, Cheryl, I’m not being overdramatic. Yes, Becky, I recognize everyone has to deal with boredom.

A neurotypical’s boredom and an ADHDer’s boredom are two very different levels of boredom. Ever heard the phrase “bored to tears”? Now imagine every time you get even a little bored, it’s like this.

And of course, the ADHD hell brain remembers the bad feels of being bored but can’t recall how nice it was to remember all of the answers on a quiz that one time you paid attention in class.This is why I have the worst problems doing homework and housework, or in general anything with serious repetition (exercise, cooking, driving, tidying up etc.). I can do it for maybe 10-15 minutes, and then my brain’s like “k I’m good. Next source of input please?” like, brain, I’m only like 3 feet into washing the kitchen floor. P l s.

11. Speaking of tears. Has rejection by someone you value ever felt like you wanted to quit existing on the spot, or at the very least wanted to move to an ice cave in Greenland and cry for the rest of your life? Even if the rejection was just perceived rejection and your friend was just expressing grumpiness at something else?

Even if your logic says “they didn’t reject you calm down you’re overreacting?”

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. It’s a newer term, but honestly, once I found out about my own ADHD and this bitch of a symptom a loooooooot of my weird habits started making a lot of sense in my head.

It doesn’t have to be actual “rejection”. It can get set off from stuff like awkwardness (hence my personal resistance to making Adult Phone Calls) to disbelief (a huge, huge reason so many people go undiagnosed), to personal judgment and/or criticisms (oh, ok… I guess I’ll never mention my love for X ever again) to even just indifference (no one noticed I mopped all the floors in the house… guess I’ll just go die!).

Basically, if you perceive that someone you care about has dismissed you in some fashion, you literally just want to quit existing. On the spot. Because the feeling of it makes you feel sick, your chest gets tight, you can feel it in your hands, and it makes the rest of your day miserable.This variant is more likely with people you care about, but can definitely 100% happen with strangers too.

Another variant is this: if you perceive that someone (whether you care about them or not) has dismissed you in some fashion, your first instinct is to attempt to disregard and discard them completely. It usually doesn’t work like you want it to.

I’m pretty sure this is another reason why ADHD people hang out in packs. We always have a line in our head we’re terrified to cross with our friends. It makes us seem like we’re emotionally unavailable- but in reality we’re just terrified of being dismissed by our friends for showing our true geeky, infodumping, hyperfixating selves.

(Listen. If a friend mocks you for your true self they weren’t your friend in the first place.)

12. But in terms of crossing that line… Social cues? What are social cues?

Normal people can infer a lot from body language. With a lot of ADHD people, we tend not to notice. Or we notice too much and overanalyze. There’s no in between.

On a side note, your best bet for flirting successfully with an ADHDer is to just come out and say it. (Talk like an elcor. “Flirtatiously: I want to hear more.” or whatever innocent phrase it is you’re using to flirt. If they’re into Mass Effect, this will make them laugh, which means bonus points for you in their eyes.)But seriously, unless you’re making obviously romantic overtures we’re usually pretty sure you’re just being nice.

Back on topic: lack of social ability is a massive, massive reason people with ADHD are usually bullied growing up. If there aren’t any other ADHD people around, it usually feels like no one “gets” you. I was bullied horribly enough during junior high and high school to the point where I still have to repress the urge to automatically assume someone being nice to me means they’re plotting something behind my back. (Didn’t help that my hs was basically the Korriban Sith academy without most of the death. Culty, religious, nepotism ran rampant.)

13. Woe betide thee who angers the ADHD. It's not a problem with everyone, but... We’re like volcanoes. Awe-inspiring to watch in action, but God help you if we explode in your direction. And if it’s righteous anger there is almost literally no stopping us.

Anger has its uses. Our problem is that, like a volcano, we always have a lot simmering under the surface. We tend to hold onto it for ridiculous amounts of time until one day, boom. Yeah, I know, Kathy, that happens with everyone. Delayed gratification and all. The difference with ADHDers is that we usually don’t wait.

ADHDers’ anger will come out initially, because we can’t suppress it. We’re impulsive as fuck. We don’t think before we leap (our brains probably wouldn’t let us anyway). And it will seem like we are flying off the handle for no reason whatsoever. But we also have a tendency to unhealthily hold onto it afterwards even once the initial burst has happened. It’s like a (bad!) positive feedback loop.

14. Gotta bounce the leg. Gotta rock. Gotta fidget. Shit, I’m sorry, were you talking?

So one time I made it through 40 minutes of a math class actively suppressing the urge to bounce my leg… and then my leg twitched of its own accord. Freaky as shit, 0/10 recommend.

Sitting still is physically impossible for me, and for a lot of ADHDers. Lack of impulse control + lack of social cue knowledge + lack of ability to decide what’s important to our brains = Fidget fidget. Fidget fidget. Twitch. Fiddle with paper. Hey, my backpack has a fun texture by the zipper. Oh my God, that lady on the TV is wearing the best shade of blue ever! I wonder where she got it. Shit, I need to go shopping. Wait, why did I need to go shopping again?

“Hey I asked you what you got for number 7.”

Fuck.

15. Depressive episodes. For me, these usually happen after a major hyperfocus where I taxed my brain for all it was worth, especially for long periods of time.

If it lasts for a long time or starts seriously affecting your life, get it checked out. If your doctor gives a damn they’ll be happy you came in to get it checked, even if it was the wrong diagnosis, because if it had been then at least they were there to help you. And they’ll always be happy to sit down and figure out what’s wrong. I know they have to watch out for hypochondriacs and whatnot. But if a doctor really cares about helping people they’ll listen when you say something’s wrong, because they know that you’re the one in your skin, not them. Which means if you really think something might be wrong, something probably is.

More evidence: justexecutivedysfunctionthings here on tumblr. Contains people’s experiences with EXDYF, which is a huge red flag for ADHD.

The Wikipedia article on the subject. There’s a nicely organized chart. (Or at least there was when I looked at it.) Remember, you don’t have to identify with all of the symptoms to be ADHD. Even if you only identify with a few, if they’re significant enough that they are seriously impacting your life and existence, it’s worth getting checked out.

I may add more to this later/change some stuff as my memory allows.

#long post #adhd #asks

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lifeorbeth · 7 years

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will you ever continue/finish the barista au?

Here it is. We’ve made it to the end. And, boy, was it about time…

Installment #74

[Tumblr Links] [AO3]

Cosima’s mind is focused entirely on the exam. She’s had her morning coffee, did her pre-final cram session over a scant (but necessary) breakfast of two-day-old pastries from work, and made it to the exam site with a few minutes to spare for exchanging panicked looks with her classmates. And then, after the directions are given and the exams hit the desk, it’s silent.The kind of muted shuffling of papers and scratching of pencils that is only truly possible in an exceedingly difficult class. Cosima calls forth images of reactions and processes from the cheat sheet she’d spent the past few days perfecting. But it’s still a difficult thing. She spends half of the exam second-guessing herself, her eraser worn down to a nub as the two hour mark passes.

Despite the late time, Cosima is one of the first students to finish. She learns later that most students were still scrawling frantically in increasingly illegible handwriting right up until (and slightly after) the professor called time. As soon as she leaves the lecture hall, Cosima feels a weight drop free of her chest.

Only for another one to appear.

What on earth will she do about Sarah? The semester is winding to a close (she has two more finals the next day, and then she returns home for the summer), and Cosima isn’t sure where they stand. But… finals have to take precedence, at least until tomorrow.

Cosima turns in her last exam, retreats to her (empty) dorm room and finishes up the last of her packing. She’s been procrastinating going to see Sarah, or even attempting to communicate with her through Beth. She’s at a loss and, if she’s honest with herself, still unbelievably angry. As she walks to work for the last time for the semester (she can’t believe she didn’t request off for finals week), she can’t help thinking about the first shift she had with Sarah, all those months ago, and all of their various escapades since (most of which taking place in that tiny bathroom).

As she treks through the city, her irrational anger eases slightly. It’s going to be a good last shift - Max already promised her pizza for her last day - and she and Sarah will patch things up and figure things out.

It’s the beginning of tourist season; work is blissfully busy. She’s cranking out drinks like there’s no end in sight (though their 7pm closing time is creeping ever closer). Small soy vanilla latte. Large iced caramel macchiato (x17). Medium green tea lemonade. Small almond milk chai. Drink after drink after drink. She’s been experimenting with a few different latte art forms, so she practices those, nailing the occasional tulip (three hearts stacked one on top of the other) and failing miserably at the swan (which tends to look demonic or like nothing at all).

Her phone in her pocket stays still, silent, and notification-free.

At 7pm, just before the doors close, the pizza guy arrives. Their shift-long rush had ended at around 5:30, and they’d been closing ever since. The store is almost ready for the end of the night. They just have to wait the obligatory ten minutes after the posted closing time.

At 7:08, Sarah arrives, Beth trailing in her wake like a distraught hound. Max grins at both of them, not taking in their bleak expressions, and invites them both to stay for pizza. Beth smiles and graciously accepts, locking the door behind them.

Sarah forces a twitch of her lips in response to Max’s invitation, and the four of them sit at the big community table by the front window, Cosima taking care to lower some of the lights so passersby know they’re closed. The conversation is light, work-related or having to do with Cosima’s upcoming summer vacation, but Sarah’s body language is making the pizza turn to tar in Cosima’s mouth.

When Max grudgingly gives up her place at the table to finish with the closing procedures (”Don’t you worry about it, hon, I’ll finish up. It’s your last day, after all.”), Beth and Cosima both swivel in their chairs to face Sarah.

“I went and saw S today.”

Cosima’s gaze flickers to Beth, whose face is impassive. “What happened?”

“She wants me to make the decision for myself,” Sarah continues, her pallor adopting a slightly gray tinge. Noticing Cosima’s mouth opening, presumably to ask which decision, she adds, “If I’m going to keep it or not.”

Cosima’s mouth shuts, her teeth closing with an audible click. She occupies herself with another bite of pizza to give herself time to think. To keep it? To give it up for adoption (like Sarah herself had been)? To… abort? Cosima’s stomach clenches. None of the options would be easy.

“And what do you want?” Beth prods as the silence lengthens past acceptable.

Sarah shrugs.

“What about the father?” Cosima blurts.

“Not in the picture,” Sarah answers firmly, coldly. “He doesn’t need to know shit.”

Max finally emerges, her grin slipping at the sight of the three college-age girls and their stormy expressions. “Everything alright?”

Beth is, as usual, the first to brighten. “Fine. Me and Cosima are just tired - finals all week; you know how it is.”

“Yeah,” Cosima adds, “I had a particularly grueling one yesterday; my brain’s, like, a gray matter smoothie right now.”

“Well,” Max says, “take the rest of that pizza home with you and celebrate the end of brain-smoothies for another few months, alright?”

Cosima nods. “Thanks, Max.”

“Let’s get out of here.”

Beth takes the pizza box and leads the group out the door as Max locks it behind them. Max turns a corner and the three of them are left alone again.

“I fly home on Friday,” Cosima says, picking up the dropped thread of conversation.

They all appear to be thinking about how far off California is, how far removed Cosima will be if the other two remain in town.

Beth suddenly veers off onto a side street. When Sarah and Cosima pause, she explains, “Shortcut. I’ll meet you at home, Sarah.” She hands Cosima the leftover pizza and smiles. “I’ll see you sometime before you leave, Cosima.”

And then she’s gone.

Sarah leans against the wall, raking her fingers through her hair with a faint chuckle. “Gotta give her some credit,” she says, jerking her head in the direction of Beth’s hasty retreat.

Cosima steps cautiously closer to Sarah, trying not to trap her but also feeling an undeniable pull to be closer. Sarah snatches the box and tosses it onto the pavement until there’s nothing between them but everything. Cosima takes another step.

Sarah’s lips are warm and her breath smells like pepperoni (not altogether unappealing). Her hand curls into a fist, clutching the front of Cosima’s shirt and undoubtedly wrinkling the fabric. She pulls Cosima closer, crushing their bodies together.

When they finally, slowly, ease apart, Sarah gives her the shadow of a smile. “Don’t worry,” she says, “I won’t do anything stupid.”

Cosima’s flight is at 4pm, and she’s shoving the last of her possessions into a suitcase. Yesterday, she, Sarah, and Beth stored all of her non-essentials in Beth’s basement for the summer. Now it’s just remembering to pack her toothbrush and getting all the little things she might have missed from the cabinets and drawers (her roommates aren’t leaving for another few days).

Someone begins pounding on the door, surpassing knocking altogether in favor of a literal clamor. Cosima, startled into dropping her calculator (watching it skitter under Julia’s bed like it’s fleeing the racket), turns cautiously towards the door. The pounding continues as she peers cautiously through the peep-hole to find Beth, magnified in unflattering fish-eye, on the other side of the door. Cosima yanks the door open.

Beth’s hand drops to her side, chest heaving. Her forehead glistens as if she ran all the way from her townhouse to the dorm (and she’s certainly not wearing running-friendly clothes this time). As soon as she opens her mouth, Cosima already knows what she’s about to say.

“Sarah’s gone.”

#punky monkey #Cosima Niehaus #Sarah Manning #Beth Childs #coffeeshop au #Barista AU #OB AU #OB fic #the end of an era #Anonymous #cloneversations

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rivkahstudies · 7 years

Text

General IB Tips (Part 1, because I have a lot to say on this topic)

Whether you’re just entering the IB program or, like me, you’re almost done with your first year, here are some tips that I have picked up from my experiences as an overwrought but successful student!

For those of you that are unaware, International Baccalaureate is an international standard for education that is employed at schools around the world. It is an extremely rigorous program. More below the cut!

My experience as an IB student:

I am finishing my Junior (Grade 11) year in a Florida, US school on May 24. This is important because my school puts the most work on the Juniors so Seniors can focus on applying for colleges and scholarships and taking exams. They still have a lot of work though.

I am not taking any IB exams this year, all of my classes will be tested for in my senior year.

I am a full IB student, which means all 7 of my hour-long classes are IB.

I have 6 extracurricular activities but I will not get a paying job until next year.

I have generalized anxiety disorder, depression, and insomnia/chronic nightmares that impact my ability to work.

general - the conditions

PLEASE banish the advice that “You’ll be perfectly fine if you don’t procrastinate! IB is so easy if you’re a hard worker!” There are so many other factors, a lot of which I will cover, that will impact your ability to work, and even though IB is standardized across the boards, each school does things slightly differently. There are going to be difficult days. You’re going to have breakdowns and want to quit, and hate yourself and IB. There will be really bad days, or really bad weeks. I have done very little procrastinating and have worked really hard, and I’ve still had difficulty dealing with the workload.

IB does take a lot of discipline and routine. You will have to sacrifice. I chose to sacrifice sleep and my social life, but I’m working harder to take care of myself now that the worst days are clearing out.

IB is not just for the intelligent kids. It’s for the kids willing to be chewed up and spit out. This takes a lot of character beyond book smarts, and if you decide to do the IB Certificate Program (some IB classes) instead of IB Diploma (full IB), or just full on drop out, that is okay. It is always okay. Not everyone is made for a program that expects an inhuman amount of effort and work. If you have complicating circumstances or even just issues with your personal condition with taking IB, there’s no shame in quitting or dropping classes. There are other options past IB if you want to succeed in life. IB is a choice.

Don’t go through this alone. My rule of thumb is to always have 2 kids my age and 1 adult I can rely on to rant to, get advice from, or just cry on the shoulder of when I’m having my hard times. This preserves your mental health and helps people help you if you get to a really bad point.

And despite all the negativity (read: honesty) in these points above... Be excited! Keep an open mind. IB fosters creative and critical thinking, and opens you up to an international mindset useful in all aspects of life. It doesn’t teach all the life skills I would like, but that’s what your mentors and peers are for. If there’s something you want, go for it, and always attempt to find a good side to every adversity. I keep a lil jar called the Good Things Jar where I put in slips of paper of good things that happen to me. I have been neglecting it due to busy schedules lately, but even on bad days I try to put one good thing in. It’s seriously helped my outlook this year.

general - completing assignments

Remember: Extra Credit is your best friend, but your priority is to get the assigned work done. EC is for when something falls through or no amount of studying will get you passing that Thermodynamics test. If your teacher doesn’t give a lot of EC and offers some, jump on it! You won’t regret it.

Always prioritize based on size of the project and the deadline. If it’s a longer deadline but a bigger project, start as soon as possible. No matter what the size, always work on the things due the soonest first in case you can’t get to all of your to do list.

Talk to your teachers. Especially when things come up. Whether it’s extracurriculars, family issues, personal issues, emergencies, etc, if something keeps you from completing an assignment or you aren’t grasping the materials, talk to your teachers. It is very important to have a close relationship with even your disliked IB teachers because you need to be able to get cut breaks. IB teachers know the issues of IB, they’re usually understanding. Chances are, as long as you’re a good and honest student, they’ll take late work or bargain with you, and help you make up work unless they already have a procedure or bulletin for you to reference on your own time.

Don’t always chunk your workload by assignment. I will break up even simpler tasks into certain milestones so that I can cope. I want to rewrite all my math notes? I want chapter 5 done by Monday. I never write my schedule so strictly that I have specific times for each assignment. I see some people say 1:00: Read, 2:00 Eat, 3:00 Take Notes. Even the most organized students can’t conform to that rigid a schedule. Instead, schedule periods for general aspects - the morning is for studying, the afternoon for writing, the evening for relaxing, etc. And make sure you program in breaks, because it’s not healthy to sit for too long, write for too long, etc without proper self-care!

notetaking

Good notetaking skills are very valuable! I don’t have time to make my notes super embellished like a lot of studyblrs, but I still seriously value clean notes and I will retake notes multiple times if necessary. Not only does it help when you need to reference them again for test or exam time, but it helps you cement the knowledge in your mind more.

My notetaking strategy: four pen/marker colors. 1 for titles, 1 for subtitles, 1 for important details (names, dates, key points, etc) and 1 (typically black) for supporting information/regular text. I like to change up the colors so I can remember separate note sets in the same subject/notebook, so you’ll see one of the many taxes that provoked the American revolution in greens and blues, the next in reds, and the next pinks and purples. Diagrams get their own sets of colors depending on complexity and keys.

The reason I like this notetaking strategy is it still allows me neat, color-coded notes without getting overly fancy. I draw only what I absolutely need to, and sometimes I’ll doodle if I need to relax and my hands are itching to draw. But generally I find that aesthetic notetaking just spends time I can use to relax or complete other work, so I refrain! Practicality over aesthetics in IB.

working past mental illness

A lot of us have it. I have firsthand experience, and it’s not fun. Just Wednesday night, I ended off all of my homework at 12 AM and had a mental breakdown until 2 AM. There will be really bad days, and you just can’t avoid them. IB has some flexibility for students, but it still doesn’t have much wriggle room for chronic mental illness.

Be aware of yourself. I know I get sensory overload, I know I have anxiety attacks and that my average resting heartbeat has been 100-120 lately wITHOUT COFFEE and I need to take care of that. I know I have insomnia and nightmares and it’s hard to get to sleep. Use that knowledge to your advantage to prevent procrastination, situations that are triggering or overwhelming, and people that aren’t good for you.

Don’t overdo the extracurriculars. They’re good for the resume and they’re fun, but trust me, it’s not a good idea. I have 6, and at the peak of their work I was so overworked I didn’t sleep for an entire week. I had 8 before I started full IB, and I dropped 2 and still had issues. My advice is 2-3, and devote all your energy to it within reason. As it is, I don’t believe you should join anything you can’t give at least 65% to. Sure you might not be able to attend every meeting or take on extra responsibilities, but you should be attentive and dedicated to it. I love all my extracurriculars dearly and I cope with the stress because it’s rewarding, and by this time of the year most of them have finished for the year anyway.

Don’t bottle it up. As stated earlier, you should have 2 kids your age and 1 adult you can rely on to talk to about one subject at any time. They can be anyone you trust, but people should know what your state is so they can help if things go wrong. I like the magic number of 3 people because it allows you to express yourself multiple times without putting too much energy into one person. They are people with lives too, but you are not a burden and you deserve to be heard and validated. I like to rotate my 3. One time it’ll be my boyfriend (who’s usually in every group anyway because he likes to know that I’m okay and I like to know he is) and my best gal pal and my TOK teacher, next time it’ll be my mom, my classmate in English and my other gal pals. Don’t be afraid to reach out.

If you can’t reach out, be honest with yourself. Talk about what’s bothering you to yourself. Say “I feel mad” or “I have a headache” or “I’m panicking.” Identify the sources and try to ground yourself. There are multiple grounding and breathing techniques I use and I’d be happy to go into more detail if y’all ask about it. If grounding doesn’t work, try other coping methods such as mapping out possible solutions or taking time to self-care and medicate. If you know yourself, you’re a step closer to overcoming whatever mental boundaries you have or, at least, being more comfortable. If I start crying for “no reason” I think about what’s been stressing me out and run through recent events. It helps me rationalize and stop my anxiety from ruling me and blowing things out of proportion. I also view my intrusive thoughts like “you’re nothing, you’re worthless” as a backseat driver. “No, Karen, I’m not, I’m the driver, hush.” It seems foolish, but it really helps me because it’s both humorous and also me being rational.

Anyway! This turned out waaaay longer than I intended it but this is just the tip of the iceberg, so if you guys wants a TL;DR version I will post it tomorrow or Saturday by request and if you want more tips just message me or ask me!! I love getting asked specific questions because it’s easier for me to answer any specific concerns or curiosities you have! If you’d like, my next post can be about suggestions on how to tackle specific aspects of IB like the EE or the CAS project!

Tagging people that specifically wanted this post:

@hunny-studies , @unfortunatelackofaliens

#rivkah talks #rivkahstudies #ib #international baccalaureate #tw mental illness #anxiety #depression #tw panic attacks #just pm if you need me to add any more tws #studyblr #studying #advice #high school

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