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golbrocklovely · 7 months

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careful what you wish for // sam and colby (pt. 4)

A/N: first off, terribly sorry this came out so late. i've had a hectic last couple days, and didn't get to finish this fic up until tonight. and sadly, this the last thing i'm posting for my 13 nights of halloween. it's crazy to think that this is finally over. to anyone curious i will be getting back to answering asks by tomorrow. i'll also be writing up my review of hell week, and any other random things i had planned to write about/review before my 13 nights. also, i know so many of you have been waiting eagerly for this next installment, so sorry for the long awaited update. but hopefully it's made better by this fic. happy belated halloween, and happy haunting !

prompt: sam and colby have left you high and dry, so now you've resorted to possibly hooking up with a coworker at an event. but sam and colby will be having NONE of that. || vampire!sam and demon!colby x fem!reader

trigger warning: SO MUCH SMUT, manipulation via powers (surprise! it's not you this time), fucking in a public, fucking with a crowd watching, the crowd is also all of your coworkers, dumb business shit that i know nothing about bc i went to school for theater and work in retail lol, fourth wall break (spooky), cursing, degrading language, being bit but no blood drawn), mentions of: princess, baby girl, baby, slut, whore, called a fleshlight once, unprotected sex (but no fear of getting pregnant bc they're supernatural), gets a bit dark and possessive towards the end, heavy use of MINE and OURs, snc own you so…. if you don't like that don't read,

word count: 7077

~~~~~~~~~

It was Halloween night, and while you usually looked forward to Halloween, this night was a bit different. The company you worked at was having their annual 'Final Fiscal Quarter Party'. The higher ups agreed that it would be easier to throw it during October, rather than in December. Individual offices could throw their own then, but the main, big event was happening tonight.

Your company rented out a huge hotel ballroom. There was catering, a local DJ playing some family friendly tunes, and a stage where awards were going to be given out. You had been to a couple of these events over the years, but they were always very... boring. You would much rather be at home, snuggled up, watching a scary movie.

Or maybe getting fucked by your... boyfriends? It was hard to describe the relationship you had with Sam and Colby. They used you, but you used them. It was a very symbiotic relationship in that way. But currently, you weren't really too keen on them.

You considered hitting up your old friend, Jess. She was the one, after all, that magically brought Sam and Colby into your life. You hadn't talked to her in a long time. It could be because she still blamed you for the book permanently shutting and ruining her dating life forever.

She could bitch all she wanted, but she wasn't the one being stalked and fucked by a demon and a vampire.

You had grown a bit tired of Sam and Colby, their antics, and their overall ability to flip your world upside down. The sex was great, obviously. But at what cost?

Not to mention, they hadn't spoken to you, or showed up, in months. You were going through a bit of a dry spell, and hated the fact that they hadn't answered your calls. So, it did cross your mind to get rid of them. Permanently.

But that was an issue for another time. Right now, all you had to focus on was getting just drunk enough to enjoy this stuffy party, but not too drunk that you get messy.

And that came a bit easy for you. Across the bar, a handsome man smiled at you, giving you a nod as you accepted his drink. You could see his paper nametag said Brian, and you hadn't recognized him from your own office - so he was a safe bet. God knows you weren't the only one trying to hook up with someone tonight. Plenty of colleagues from different divisions were going to be getting crazy tonight. It was an inside joke amongst the company that this night was usually a fuckfest.

You gazed over at Brian, admiring his silky quaffed hair and great suit. He had a lovely smile; one he shot your way over the glass of whiskey he had in his hand.

A man like Brian seemed... dependable. A good choice for a significant other. Boring, basic, Brian. Maybe that's exactly what you needed. Something steady and settled. Not... supernatural.

Yeah, but could you ever fuck a man like Brian? A man like him could never fulfill your needs. You could hear Colby's voice in the back of your head.

You rolled your eyes, taking a long sip from your wine glass. No. Brian might seem a bit basic on the surface, but who knows? Deep down he could be a sex god. Maybe he was packing some serious heat, and just knew all the right ways to eat a woman out. Yeah, that's what's you would be focusing on. Not the imagine that Sam and Colby would surely try to paint in your head.

You were brought out of your thoughts as the lights dimmed up and down, signaling everyone to get to their seats, as the speeches and award ceremony was going to start soon. You shot a look at Brian one more time and found your seat quickly.

The head of the company sauntered up on stage as applause erupted throughout the room. He nodded his head, shooting a couple people smiles and finger guns. Eventually as the room quieted down, he stepped up to the podium, beginning his speech.

"Good evening, everyone. I'm so happy you all could make it here tonight. Happy Halloween by the way. Isn't this much better than a Christmas party?" He let out a solid laugh, swatting at the crowd jokingly. "But as I was saying, tonight we are all here to celebrate. This company might be big, but it's the little guys - the individuals - that deserve the praise the most. Sure, I'm the head and face of this place, but you guys are what make it possible."

Another round of claps came from the room. You glanced around and noticed that the chair next to you was empty. There was a name tag on the plate, designating this spot for a "Colson Brock".... whoever that was.

"Now before the awards begin, I would like to introduce you all to someone remarkable. This man has helped shape this company in many ways. And, he's incredibly sexy. So let's all give a round of applause for Samson Golbach." The CEO grinned brightly, gesturing to the side of the stage.

You raised an eyebrow, Sexy? That's a strange word to use at a business party. Not to mention, The CEO was married to a woman so... this was all a bit confusing. You awkwardly clapped as the light shined on a man with light blonde hair. He was in an all-black suit, his hair gelled in a sleek look. He waved at the crowd, smirking mischievously. He smiled once he got to the podium, his fangs glistening in the light.

Was that... Sam?

You gasped in your seat, staring up with wide eyes at the stage. It looked like him, but you had never seen him in a suit. Plus he wasn't exuding the same energy he usually would so, maybe this wasn't him. Maybe this was his doppelganger, or someone that looked extremely like him. You sat back in your chair, narrowing your eyes up at the man.

"Thank you all for having me here today. I know many of you don't know who I am, but that's by design. I purposefully like to stay in the shadows, remain almost anonymous. It's a system I built to keep this company running at breakneck speed, and so far... this has been our most successful year to date!" Samson cheered.

You could feel the room clap again, happy with Sam... Samson's words. You took a deep breath, your anger rising. This can't be Sam. Sure, it looked like him and even sounded like him. But Sam and Colby had never taken this... thing, with you outside of your own house. There was no way they would do this to you in front of all of your coworkers and colleagues.

"It's nice to finally be appreciated and received so well. I'm sure you've all had some crazy days and night working here. I usually work all hours of the night and barely get to see the sun. You would think I was some sort of a vampire or something." Samson chuckled, some members of the crowd following suit. He turned, catching your eye, and gave you a wink.

Did he just...

The chair next to you pulled back, a man sat down hastily. He cleared his throat, catching his breath. He unbuttoned his dark blue suit jacket, the silver pinstripes reflecting in the light. Your eyes traveled up the man's form, taking him in until finally stopping on his face. Everything about him was familiar, but his hair was pushed back, exposing his forehead. He took his glasses off, cleaning the lenses and sliding them back on.

“You've got to be fucking kidding me.” You growled.

The man, Colby, turned to look at you suddenly. “I'm... sorry?”

You crossed your arms tightly, sitting back in your chair. “I can't believe that you and Sam would do this.”

He gave a weary smile. “I'm so sorry, you must have me mistaken for someone else.”

“Right, Colby.” You huffed.

“Colby? That's a silly name,” he chuckled. “My name is Colson.”

“Of course it is.” You turned to him sharply, “You know you two have a lot of audacity to do this.”

He shook his head awkwardly. “Again, I'm not sure what you're talking about, Miss.”

“You guys haven't spoken to me in months. I've called out to yall and got nothing back. And now you show up and want to play dress up?!” You whispered harshly. “You guys are sick.”

“I'm not entirely sure what to say. I'm not who you think I am,” he dissented. “I'm Colson Brock, not Colby, and I've never met that man on stage before in my life. But I am about to get an award from him so... if you could just stop talking to me, that would be for the best.”

You scoffed. “I swear to God, Colby-!”

You were cut off as Sam’s voice grew louder, “This award is given out to individuals that show inspiring traits and work countlessly day in and day out for us. The award for Best Dedication, Integrity, Creativity, and Knowledge goes to... Colson Brock!”

You scowled as Colby stood up, patting down his suit softly. He walked towards the stage, shooting you a smug look over his shoulder. He stepped on stage, shaking Sam's hand, and a photo was taken of the two of them holding the award.

You grabbed your purse, sneaking off to the bathroom quickly. You stumbled in, rushing to the sink and leaning against it. The bathroom was empty, just you alone. You breathed deeply, shaking your head.

That had to be Sam and Colby. There's no way that wasn't them.

But a part of you imagined, for just a moment, that maybe... it wasn't them. How could they have manipulated everyone into thinking they were real workers at this company? The CEO introduced Sam, or Samson. Colby's name, or Colson's name, was on the nametag and award.

You felt yourself flush at the thought. Oh my God, if that isn't Colby, that man out there thinks I'm absolutely insane. How the fuck am I supposed to go back to my table, sit there and eat an under seasoned chicken parm, and pretend I didn't just berate a man?

You groaned, bending down, and resting your head against the sink counter. Even when Sam and Colby weren't around, they still fucked with you.

You heard the bathroom door squeak open, your body jolting up. You didn't need another person thinking you were losing it.

Heavy footsteps crept into the bathroom, a man. A deep voice sighed, snickering lightly. You glanced up through the mirror, your eyes widening. Colby swayed in, leaning against the wall. His suit jacket was gone, now just in his button up and slacks. He rolled up his sleeves, running a hand through his hair.

“Surprise, Princess. Did ya miss us?” He teased.

You glared, “What the fuck, Colby?”

“What?” He gestured outside the bathroom, “A bit too dramatic?”

“This is my livelihood! How dare you and Sam come and fuck this up for me!” You exclaimed, anger coursing through your veins.

“Relax, baby. We would never do anything too bad. No need to worry. Everyone will forget any of this happened. Honestly.” He put his hands up defensively. “This was all meant to be a bit of fun. We just wanted to get a rise out of you.”

“Well, you succeeded. Congratulations.” You retorted, crossing your arms.

“You should be congratulating me on my award. I have the best dedication, integrity, creativity, and knowledge.... D-I-C-K. Dick? Best dick, get it?” He bit his lip cockily, “Came up with it myself.”

“You're a fucking genius,” you deadpanned, rolling your eyes. “God, I knew I should have talked to Jess sooner.”

“Jess... why does that name sound familiar?” He questioned, feigning curiosity.

“She's the one that gave me the book that made the two of you.” You explained bitterly.

“Oh, she is? I'm gonna have write her a thank you card,” he winked. “But why exactly do you need to talk to her?”

“You two... I want you gone.” You admitted.

His face dropped, “What?”

You stepped up to Colby, getting in his face. “Aren't you tired of fucking around with me? Coming and going as you please? Why am I not allowed a normal life with a normal guy?!”

The lights flickered in the bathroom, Colby's eyes turning black for a split second, his horns visible. You shuttered, pressing yourself against the counter. The lights stopped flickering, and Colby was back to normal.

He cleared his throat, loosening his tie a bit. “Because... you're ours. You belong to us.”

“Fuck you.” You spat.

“You have... multiple times,” Colby pointed out in a snarky tone. “Even last year around this time, too.”

“Last Halloween?” You thought back, and a bunch of images started popping into your mind. Sam snapped Colby's neck but was also somehow terrorizing trick-or-treaters. Colby took control of your body but was also somehow dead while you and Sam fucked in your kitchen. It was all very confusing and didn't make quite sense.

“Wait, how the hell did you both fuck me and simultaneously not?” You puzzled, aggravated.

“I guess it just depends on what you picked.” Colby smirked, “Right, reader?”

“What are you talking about?” You replied.

“Don't worry about it.” He leaned against the counter next to you, “Back to what you were saying though. So, you want a normal guy so you can live a normal life... why? Isn't it more exciting to get fucked by a demon and a vampire?”

“Yeah, but there's more to life than sex.” You argued.

He feigned shock, “Take that back.”

You jeered, “You're extra fucking annoying, you know that?”

“And you clearly need the brattiness fucked out of you. But for some reason you don't want me or Sam to do it. Why? Did you have someone else in mind?” He took a couple steps, facing you again, “Like, say... Brian.”

You felt your heart skip a beat. “How do you-“

He interjected. “I'm a demon. I know a lot of things. Not to mention I saw him and you eye-fucking each other by the bar. You're lucky I saw it and not Sam. Because Brian would be drained dry by now. Still probably will be.”

You rolled your eyes, “Okay, fine. I was eye-fucking Brian. And why am I not allowed to? Yall have been gone for months.”

“But you've been putting that toy of yours to such good use,” Colby taunted.

“You're an asshole.” You shot back.

“Thank you. I appreciate the love,” he smiled genuinely. “But I gotta ask, do you really think a man named 'Brian' can make you come like we can? Be honest with yourself on that.”

“That's not the only reason I want him,” you responded sassily. “Plus, he could be really good at sex.”

“Okay then. Let's find out.” Colby stomped over to the door, yelling out, "Brian! Get in here!"

You furrowed your brow, confused as to what Colby had up his sleeve. What the hell was he bringing Brian in here for?

Brian stepped in, glancing between the two of you. He had a dazed look on his face, clearly entranced.

“Colby, don-“ You started.

He cut you off again, “Look, princess. You wanted to know if he's a good fuck. So, I'm giving you the chance to find out. See what a normal fucking will bring to your life.”

“You can't force him to fuck me!” You fumed.

“I mean, I definitely could, but I'm not going to.” He turned to Brian, patting his shoulder, “Brian, my guy, do you want to fuck Y/N?”

Brian nodded. “Yes.”

“That's why you were buying her drinks tonight, right?” Colby asked.

“Yeah.” Brian’s voice was dull, almost like there were no thoughts behind his eyes.

“Such an honest man,” Colby commented. “Do you find her attractive?”

“Of course.” Brian agreed.

“Would you sleep with her if she said yes?” He continued.

Brian blinked, “Yes.”

Colby looked at you, “There we go. Happy?”

“I'm not fucking him in here, or in front of you.” You retorted, leaning back against the counter.

“Don't you want to prove me wrong? Don't you want to wipe the smug look off my face when he makes you come with his tongue? Or his totally, not average sized, dick?” Colby stepped up to you, his voice low, “The moment I walked in here, you got wet.”

A rush of blood came to your cheeks, your breath hitching.

“No amount of blushing can hide that deep down, you're a slut that wants to be fucked - pretty much - anywhere. And you're only giving me lip because we left you cold and alone for a couple months. I'm sorry about that. I truly wished I listened to your pleads...” he leaned in, kissing your cheek. “And cries...” he moved to the other cheek, giving it a quick kiss. “And screams,” he kissed your forehead gently. “Begging me to come fuck you. But absence makes the heart grow fonder. And this, right here, is my apology to you.”

You stood still, unsure what to do. Part of you did want to fuck Brian, just because you did find him hot. But with Colby standing next to him... it was no contest.

“Here. I'll sweeten the deal,” Colby offered. “If he makes you come, we'll leave. Forever.”

You froze, “Really?”

“No, probably not. The whole magical book kinda forbids that. But we will leave here, and you and Brian can go on your merry way and you two can go have beautifully... vanilla, sex.” He smiled dryly.

“Lucky for Brian, I'm already wet.” You quipped, glaring.

“Perfect. Brian, give the lady what she wants.” He gasped, “Ooh, can I choose what he does? Pleaseeeee?”

You blinked, giving the slightest nod.

“You are so generous.” Colby spun to him, “Brian, do you want to eat her out?”

“I would... but I don't do that.” Brian spoke monotone.

Colby’s face dropped, almost mimicking yours. “You don't give head? Sloppy toppy? None of that?”

“No.” Brian replied.

“This is the man you want, huh? Absolute loser,” Colby pointed at him, rolling his eyes. “Well, Brian, now you do. So, go crazy.”

Brian turned to you, a lustful look overcoming him. He dropped to his knees, crawling towards you. Your heart raced, watching his every move. His hands wrapped around your ankle, slowly kissing up your leg gently. The sensation sent a shiver up your spine, your head falling back a bit.

Colby leaned against the wall, studying you. His face was blank, almost uninterested. You glared at him, trying to ignore his presence. He smiled, giving a little wave.

Brian nibbled on your inner thigh, his fingers stroking up and down the center of your underwear. He brushed against your clit, your knees almost buckling.

“You're wet, Y/N.” Brian hummed in awe.

“Yeah, that's what happens when you turn a woman on.” He leaned in, whispering to you, “Is he new around here or...?”

“Shut up, Colby!” You groaned. “Keep going Brian, please. I need you.”

“Don't take it too personally, Brian. She says that to everyone. Especially me.” Colby grinned.

“Drop dead.” You hissed.

He remarked, “I'm not really alive so...”

Brian pulled down your underwear, letting them fall down your legs and to the floor. The cool air hit your hot sex, making your body tense up. Brian leaned in, his mouth connecting with your clit.

You closed your eyes tightly, allowing the sensation of his tongue to arouse you more. It was a slow build, that was for sure. Nothing like Sam and Colby and the way they did things. But it was still nice.

But maybe not what you needed.

You placed your hand on the back of Brian's head, pushing him more into your heat. He grunted, the vibrations feeling fantastic against your clit. You amped up your moans, hoping it was believable to Colby.

He yawned, gazing at you bored. You shook your head, deciding to ignore Colby. You were determined to come, to make them leave. But Brian was not helping you, which was upsetting.

“Brian, baby... go a little faster please.” You begged, annoyed.

He nodded, moving his tongue hastily. You could feel the pleasure build more, but it was still a long way away from being close to an orgasm. He slid a finger in, pumping in and out sloppily. You groaned, feeling even less turned on suddenly.

“I guess I know why you don't give head.” Colby swatted at Brian, “Move.”

Your eyes widened, “What? No! Brian, st-”

“I know you want to come so we leave, but that ain't gonna happen with Brian over here.” Colby mentioned.

"Well, maybe he could fuck me!" You argued, gesturing to his dick.

“But I'm not hard.” Brian stated.

Colby raised an eyebrow, “Why?”

“Eating pussy isn't really a turn on for me.” Brian informed.

“God, Y/N, you really know how to pick them.” Colby pulled him up by his arm, smiling sinisterly. “Brian, why don't you leave and go find Sam? I think he can teach you a valuable lesson on what happens to men that don't please their women.”

Brian turned and left, not saying another word. You huffed, glaring harshly at Colby. “Your little glares aren't going to do anything to me, sweetheart. If anything, they just make me hard.”

Colby's hand slid down and cupped your sex, palming your clit gingerly. You gasped, back arching as you pressed yourself against the counter. Colby barricaded you in, his hand beginning to make small circles on your clit.

“This is how a man fucks a woman like you.” He uttered, staring at you intensely.

“But you're not eating me out.” You challenged.

Colby cocked his head. “If you wanted my tongue, you could have just asked.”

You suddenly felt a tongue licking at your entrance, your body shuttering in ecstasy. “Fuck, h-how-?”

"Did you forget I have abilities? Is it because the horns aren't here?" The lights flickered, and when they turned back on, his horns were out. “How about now? Do you remember what I am now?”

"Yeaahhh, I remember." You whined, your head falling back in pleasure.

“You are so sexy when you get close to coming. God, it makes me hard just thinking about it.” Colby pushed his clothed, growing dick against your thigh, “Do you feel me?”

You nodded mindlessly, your hands gripping his forearms.

“Princess?” He asked innocently.

“Uh-huh?" You murmured.

“I think that's enough for you." All the sensations stopped, Colby pulling away from you.

“Wha-? No. No! Colby, please.” You grumbled.

He asserted, “It's time for you to be punished.”

“What did I do?” You questioned, your mouth a gape.

"I'm sorry, was Brian that forgetful or do you like playing dumb?" Colby spun you around, making you face the mirror. He rolled your dress up a bit, pressing his bulge against your bare ass. "Here's what's going to happen. I'm gonna start fucking you, and you have to remain quiet. Just like you were with Brian."

You lowered your voice, “Why do I have to be silent?”

“Because otherwise, you'll get caught.” He whispered cheekily.

The door busted open, and a gaggle of women came in, chit chatting like there wasn't a demon about to fuck you right against the sink.

You gulped; your voice even quieter. “What the fuck, Colby?!”

"Don't worry, princess. If you remain silent, they won't see you. But once you make a single noise, they'll know. They'll know that you are a dirty slut that likes to get fucked in the bathroom. That you're so desperate for dick that you'd let a demon fuck you. And a vampire." He tsked sassily, "Double greedy."

Colby unbuttoned his pants, giving your ass a slap as his cock sprang free. You bit your lip, holding back a gasp.

"You ready for me, baby?" He lined himself up with your entrance, sliding along your lips. Then finally, he glided his cock in.

You trembled from the sensations, direly wanting to moan along with him. But you didn't want to get caught. Being fucked while others were around, whether they could see you or not, was embarrassing enough.

But also incredibly thrilling.

Colby thrusted deeply, his cock hitting the right spot over and over again. You felt overwhelmed, but in the best way. Your body already felt like it was building rapidly, your legs shaking under your weight. You felt like your skin was on fire, burning against the cool air.

A lady walked up to the sink next to you, washing her hands and looking at herself in the mirror. You shuttered out a breath, Colby picking up his pace.

“Don't look at her, Y/N. Look at yourself in the mirror. Watch yourself get fucked.” He commanded breathlessly.

You turned your head, staring straight. He smirked at you in the mirror, keeping his pace the same while lazily pulling off his tie.

"This is what you deserve, sweetheart. You're such a slut for me." He yanked your hands behind your back, tying them easily with his tie. He gripped your connected hands, bucking his hips harder and faster now.

Your body buzzed erotically, your hips gyrating in time with Colby's. You could feel your edge building; all you had to do was stay quiet.

Colby slid one hand down between your legs, finding your swollen clit instantly. He rubbed it faster than his thrusts, causing your whole body to jolt. You sucked in a harsh breath, knowing you shouldn't have. But God... the sensation was too much for you to stay quiet.

The women in the bathroom looked around, confused.

"Baby, do you want to get caught or something? Because you are being awfully loud. Maybe you need something in your mouth to quiet you down." He snaked his other hand up towards your face, his two fingers rubbing along your lips. You parted your mouth, allowing his fingers inside.

He cursed, “That's fucking it baby. Be a good girl and suck them for me.”

You sucked his fingers like your life depended on it. He finger-fucked your mouth in time with his dick, both speeding up as the minutes passed. You could feel yourself getting close, knowing that your orgasm was imminent.

“It's been too long since the last time you sucked my cock.” He chuckled darkly, “Maybe later you do that for me. Wouldn't you want that, princess?”

You nodded desperately, bucking your hips wildly against his cock and hands. You were about to explode, your edge hitting its peak. This is all you wanted for the last couple months: to be fucked hard and well. And that's what Colby was doing.

“You almost ready to come? Build up baby. Suck my fingers dry. Suck them like you would my dick.” You took his fingers deeper, gagging around them. You pumped yourself on his cock, whimpering. "There you go, baby. What a good girl." Colby leaned in, his horns grazing your cheek as he uttered, "My good girl... Come for me."

Your body spasmed around Colby's cock, bouncing on it helplessly. You moaned loudly around his fingers, not caring if anyone heard. You had been so focused on staring in the mirror at yourself getting fucked that didn't see that you and Colby were all alone in the bathroom once more. His eyes bore at you in the mirror, flashing to black.

Relaxing your hips, his cock pulled out of you for a moment, letting you relax. You felt your juices run down your inner thigh, your body still running high. You leaned down, placing your head against the counter as you took some deep breaths.

“Hi there, baby girl. “A familiar voice came from behind you, but it wasn't Colby's. You looked up quickly, Sam now behind you, and Colby was nowhere to be seen. Sam waved back at you in the mirror, smirking. "You ready for me now?"

“W-Where is Colby?” You stuttered, your pussy twitching at the thought of Sam's hard cock.

"Oh, you don't need to worry about him. He'll be back soon enough." Sam traced a finger along your sex, gasping. "God baby, you are so wet. Completely soaking yourself."

He took his finger into his mouth, tasting you. "Fuck, I missed that."

Your mouth hung open, watching him through lustful eyes. His hand snaked around to the front of your body, grabbing your neck firmly. He pulled you flush against his partially exposed body, his cock hard against your ass. "We give you everything you could ask for, and you still wanted someone like Brian? How pathetic."

He forced your head to look at yourself in the mirror, "You are a desperate slut just begging to be fucked. But we're the only ones that can make you feel this good."

Sam slammed his hips into yours, his cock taking you deeply. You grunted loudly, eyes rolling back into your head. He took advantage of your still tied up hands, holding them tightly. His other hand raced up your back, lowering you down to the sink. He placed you flat against the counter, fucking you harshly. You shook with each of his thrusts, mewling at every in and out.

“You think you get to choose who fucks you now? You think you can move on from us?” He fumed, his cocking hitting your spot repeatedly.

You panted, “Noooo.”

“There is no one other than us. Let me make that abundantly clear: you're ours.” Sam's fangs sunk into your skin, your eyes widening. He continued to bite you all over, barely drawing any blood, but marking you; letting everyone know you were taken.

Your second orgasm was close. You needed this second one badly, itching to come sooner rather than later. You could feel how desperate and hot and slutty it was turning you.

“Baby girl, do you deserve to come? Have you been good?” Sam questioned.

You nodded, your whole body shaking, “Yessss. Yes I have. Please Sam! Please!”

He pulled you up again, locking eyes with you in the mirror. His hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing tightly. “Ride my dick, baby. Make yourself come on my dick.”

You uncontrollably bucked your hips, whining on his cock. His hold on your neck tightened just enough, making it hard to breath and your vision blurring. The lack of oxygen made your orgasm hit twice as hard. You soaked his member, moving mindlessly on it until you finally finished. Your legs gave out a bit, Sam catching you. He snickered, his red eyes taking you in through the mirror.

The doors to the bathroom busted open again, a random lady coming in. She turned and looked at the two of you, not even acknowledging what she had to be seeing. "Y/N, you need to come out there quick."

You were taken aback by this woman, unsure of who she was or what the hell she wanted you for. "W-what are you talking about?" You rushed, shimmying your dress down, trying to cover yourself back up.

“They're calling your name. You won an award!” She exclaimed, leaving the bathroom happily.

You furrowed your brow, turning to Sam. But he was gone. Those powers of their really do come in handy for moments like these.

You shuffled out of the bathroom, even more confused as you glanced around at everyone from your company. They were all looking at you, smiling brightly and being congratulatory. You walked towards the stage, the people directing you, and as you got closer, you saw Sam and Colby on it, holding a plaque of some sort.

Sam pulled you on stage, kissing your cheek sweetly. Colby handed you the award, shaking your hand dramatically. You took the award in your hand, turning it to see what it said.

“Give it up for Y/N everyone. The biggest slut of the year!” Sam yelled into the microphone. “Congratulations baby, you deserve it.”

You gawked at Sam and Colby, the reality of what they did hitting you. You threw the award on the ground, glaring at them harshly.

“Hey now, we worked really hard on that.” Sam pouted.

“Fuck you, how dare you make me a fool in front of everyone!” You ranted, getting in their faces.

"Princess, no one is gonna remember this. And luckily, no one will remember this either." Colby smiled devilishly.

Sam and Colby grabbed at your dress, tearing it off your body like it was made of cheap fabric. The crowd cheered, your body heating up immediately as you were suddenly naked in front of everyone.

“Now, don't argue with us, plaything. You can bitch and moan all you want to but being fucked in front of everyone... turns you on.” Colby wrapped his arms around you, whispering in your ear, “No matter how much you want to deny it, you can't deny how drenched you are right now.”

Your body quivered as Colby's fingers slipped easily into your cunt. You fell back against him; his suddenly naked body cool against your hot skin. Sam sauntered up to you, rubbing his hands up and down your torso. His hands kneaded your breasts, nipples aching to be touched.

Sam laughed, “Look at her, Colby. She can't even argue with us. She knows that we're right. She is the biggest slut of the year. She's our slut, our toy, our plaything. Ours. Forever.”

The room erupted in applause, some even screaming out your name.

“Let's give them a show, princess,” Colby gestured to the eager crowd. Let the people see the real slut you are. Isn’t that what you want? To be fucked in front of everyone.”

You couldn't think anymore. Every sensation was overpowering your thoughts. You knew deep down that Sam and Colby were right, and all you could think of was how badly you wanted to come again.

You nodded feverishly, your hands automatically pawing at both of their bodies. The air around you changed once you said yes, your body being positioned graphically. Forced down onto your knees, Colby stood in front of you, while Sam was behind you.

“Aww, baby. Look, it's your favorite positions: on your hands and knees, getting railed by us.” Sam jested playfully.

Your sex throbbed, direly needing them inside of you. You whined, looking up at Colby. “Please, just fuck me. No more teasing.”

Colby stared into your eyes, jerking himself off right in front of your face. “You want this, huh? You want me in your mouth. Say it.”

You nodded, biting your lip. “I want you in my mouth.”

“And what about me, toy?” Sam slapped your ass, making you look back at him.

“Fuck, I need it. I need the both of you so bad!” You cried, grinding your hips back against Sam.

Hoots and hollers sounded off around the room. You glanced at the crowd, their hungry eyes taking your desperate form in.

“Fine then, since you asked so nicely,” Colby cupped your face, turning your head back to his cock. The tip pushed against your mouth, sliding in easily. He moaned lowly, almost animalistically. Sam teased his cock along your entrance, slipping in effortlessly.

Once they were in you, you sighed deeply. It felt so good to be surrounded by Sam and Colby, to be filled by them. They had you right where they wanted you, and you loved every second of it.

And the crowd seemed to love it even more.

They started off slow, taking their time to build your pleasure up. There was nothing else on your mind. All you could think about was their cock and how much you wanted them to come deep inside of you.

Colby gaped, “Oh princess, you have the filthiest mind. Maybe even dirtier than ours.”

“That's why she's our slut. We are just innocent people being used by this whore of a woman,” Sam shuttered, lulling his head back as he fucked you. “And God, I love every second of it.”

“I could fuck this mouth for hours. How does that sound, sweetheart? You love that idea, don't you?” Colby breathed, biting his lip, staring down at you.

You nodded enthusiastically, taking his shaft deeper. He grunted, hips twitching. His hand rested on your head lightly, pulling your hair softly. His grip tightened, causing you to gag around him.

Sam cursed, “Fuuuuck, she clenched around me when gagged. Keep doing that, baby girl. That felt so good.”

“Y/N, how can you get all of this, all of us, and still want something else? Especially Brian. What a fucking loser.” Colby groaned, disgusted.

Sam agreed, grimacing. “Dude didn't even know how to eat pussy. He didn't even like eating pussy.”

The crowd booed, screaming expletives at the sound of Brian's name.

“See, everyone knows that Brian sucks. How could you ever settle for something like that when you have the best right here?” Sam inquired. “Two men willing to do anything to make you come.”

"Let me make this perfectly clear, darling," Colby pulled himself out of you, raising you up so you were eye level with him. He held your face firmly, his voice low and calm. “While I'm never the type to get jealous, and watching you get eaten out by that joke of a man was entertaining and kinda sexy, let me be honest with you.”

His face dropped, his eyes darkening with each word. "If you ever go after another man again, I will personally make sure to rip his heart out in front of you, and then I’ll breed your cunt so deeply you will feel me for days. Because there is no one else for you, princess. Just. Us. Forever. That means for eternity, you are ours. You are mine."

Sam yanked your hair, pulling you out of Colby's grip for a moment. He grunted harshly, "That goes for me too, baby girl. If you ever even breathe near another man again, I might have to drain your sexy little body dry and turn you into our immortal plaything for forever. And don't think for a second I'm bluffing."

Colby took you by the neck, pulling you back towards him, choking you lightly. All the while, Sam was still fucking you. "There is no escaping us, Y/N. We will never let you go. No matter what you do for the rest of your life, we will always be there, in the shadows, watching. We own you. And nothing will change that."

His face relaxed, going back into his casual, smug look. "So... in the meantime, enjoy yourself, princess. And open your mouth again."

He pushed you down, his cock still hard and leaking, ready to fuck your mouth. Their words sank deeply into your mind, arousing and frightening you all at the same time.

Colby thrusted himself back in, gagging you. “There you go, baby. But now, I think it's time we give the people what they want. Right, everybody?!”

The room screamed in approval, lustful energy shooting through you from the sound. Suddenly, Sam and Colby began fucking you passionately, the sheer brutal force alone bouncing you back and forth on their cocks. You whined around them, feeling yourself get lost in the feeling of being their toy.

Sam groaned a breathy sound, “God, you're basically just a fleshlight, Y/N. Don't you love being used by us?”

“You know she does, Sam. Just a set of holes for us to use.” Colby’s voice was husky and low, “God, her mouth feels incredible.”

“She's so pathetic, really. She squeezed around me so tightly when we called her names. Maybe we should do that more often.” Sam taunted.

“Of course. There are so many more names we could come up with for her. But right now, all I'm concerned about is coming down her throat and fucking her until she chokes.” Colby's hips sped up as he face-fucked you. You didn't even have time to react, your jaw becoming slack and just allowing him to take over and use it like a toy. Tears welled up and rolled down your cheeks and drool dribbled down your chin from his harsh actions.

Sam's hand went between your bodies, rubbing your clit in time with his thrusts. Your thighs shook from the feeling, the pleasure overwhelming.

“You're so close, aren't you, princess?” Colby panted.

Sam chimed in; his voice depraved. “Build up for us. Come with us, baby girl.”

They pounded into you in unison, almost taking the breath out of you with each thrust. The room began getting louder, chants of "Come for us" came from the crowd, building up in time with your orgasm.

Every part of this was spectacular and you couldn't get enough.

Your breathing hitched as your orgasm hit the edge, ready to fall over once they said you could. Sam and Colby kept going, kept using you, until they were ready. You begged them to let you come, your pleas muffled by Colby’s cock. Both thrusted with abandonment, needing to come just as badly as you.

Colby grunted, pulling your hair, “Fuck, fuck! Y/N, come! Come for us now!”

“Do it baby! That's fucking it, YES!” Sam growled, his fingers bruising your hips as he held them tightly.

All three of you exploded in euphoric pleasure, bellowing out in ecstasy. The crowd roared as Sam and Colby filled you up with their cum. You released around Sam's cock, soaking him. You swallowed as much of Colby's cum as you could, gagging as he hit the back of your throat repeatedly until finally slowing his hips down. Sam slammed inside of you once more, grunting out a strained cry. Your body was spent, exhausted from being fucked so many times. You felt yourself black out, unable to stay awake a moment longer.

When you came to, you were in your hotel room, inside the same hotel the event had taken place at. You felt sore everywhere, knowing that wasn’t a dream. You sighed happily, snuggling into bed. You noticed a note on the side of your pillow. You picked it up, reading it quickly.

Ours.

- Sam and Colby

<< Part 3B ||

#sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock #sam golbach fanfic #sam golbach fic #sam golbach fanfiction #colby brock fic #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fanfiction #sam golbach smut #colby brock smut #sam golbach one shot #colby brock one shot #sam golbach oneshot #colby brock oneshot #sam golbach x reader #colby brock x reader #sam and colby x reader #golbrocklovely's 13 nights of halloween

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ilylovelyz · 10 months

Note

slow burn kiyoomi x reader 🥹

⍣ ೋ what is love?

˚ · . sakusa x afab!reader

: ̗̀➛ slowburn, angst w happy ending, heartbreak/rejection, mutual pining, denial is a river in egypt sakusa, slight jealousy and possessiveness, none of these are in order btw, sakusa is such an asshole, this is kinda all over the place </3, literally my longest story ever, my terrible attempt at my first actual slow burn, this is split into two parts because my phone cant handle it, prt 2.

we met for a reason. i'm still trying to figure that part out.

romance is something that sakusa didn't think was necessary in life.

he didn't deem it a serious issue, nor did he want that issue of "falling in love". whenever he heard his friends talking about their girlfriends or just romance in general, he had to hold back an aggressive eye-roll because he didn't see the hype of it all.

too busy with volleyball, he could barely make time for his own friends and family. he was okay with that, he didn't want to be distracted anyways. he didn't need that dumb "romance", he didn't need someone to hold his hand while he cried or whatever.

he didn't need to have someone to love, all he needed was himself, and himself only.

but, he couldn't help those vast, deep feelings late at night. the clock would read a wee time in the morning, but he couldn't sleep. his mind was purged with thoughts, questions, and curiosity.

what is love?

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

he didn't expect his question to be answered so soon.

he remembers it in extreme detail, the day he met you. the air was getting colder, the trees getting more bare and leaves falling with every slight breeze. it was the beginning of his third year of high-school, his last year of high-school. he wanted to savor his last year before he finally graduated into adulthood, often admiring the crunch the orange-brown leaves underneath his feet.

he would find himself taking a different route home, walking through a park with many trees and plants. he thought the view was nice. the park was very popular when he was younger, but now, it was considered unordinary to even see a stray dog walking nearby.

the once beloved park was all but forgotten, giving a nostalgic yet liminal feeling. but it seemed it wasn't forgotten by all.

he was near almost exiting the park when he saw a bench ahead, with a figure sitting on it. the closer he got, did he realize it was a girl around maybe his age. when he was maybe 10 feet away from the bench, did he see that the girl was wearing his school uniform.

he was going to just leave the park, but of course, you heard his footsteps and acknowledged his presence, causing him to halt his steps. "hello! i didn't know that anyone was still visiting this place. you're wearing my school's uniform too! what's your name?" you eagerly said, almost blinding him with your energetic and bright energy.

he wonders how differently life would've been if he hadn't given you his name and engaged in small talk with you. although the conversation was short and almost awkward, he found an odd pleasure talking with you.

from the way he was so standoffish and cold, he, for some reason, thought you wouldn't be there the next day, maybe scaring you off from coming there again. and of course, the next day, you were there. you were sitting up on the bench, almost like you were awaiting him.

once you saw him, you harassed him with more questions and excited small talk, asking him little things and what grade he was in, etc. he was, like always, stiff and almost resistant, but that didn't seem to stop you from trying to make a conversation with him.

it was like that for the next few days, just you engaging random conversations with him as soon as he within 5 feet of you. at the beginning, it was almost exhausting because you were persistent and almost pushing information and communication with him. at some point, he would resist the urge to run away or telling you to simply shut up and leave him alone, or even just wondering if he should go back to his old walking route.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

within a few weeks it was like talking and seeing you become apart of his routine. the weather was much colder, and the days became shorter. after practice, an unaware komori would ask him if he would like to go with him to convenience stores or karaoke, but sakusa would immediately decline. he didn't even think about it before declining, nor did he think of a reason behind it.

to a logical sakusa, the sun was setting quickly now that it was the cold seasons, and with every minute, the air was getting colder, so he had to be quick and walk home. but, to a subconscious sakusa, he was quick to walk home because he knew you would be waiting for him. it would be rude to keep you waiting.

everything was good like that for a while. he came to accept your persistence and conversations, seeing you as nothing more than the chatty person on the bench, at the forgotten park, who has near 10 keychains on her school bag. he found himself conversing with you without a thought, almost talking with you until sunset, sometimes having to run home because he got carried away in conversation with you.

after he acknowledged your presence, he began to see you everywhere at school. whether it be walking to school (after deciding to take the park route for the mornings as well), at lunch, or even in the hallways. as usual, you would smile at him, bright and welcoming as always.

he remembers the day in great detail he acknowledged maybe you were a little more than "the chatty person on the bench, at the forgotten park, who has near 10 keychains on her school bag". it was in mid-november, when they had a particularly good and hard match held at their school. it felt good to win, and it felt even better that they didn't have to travel for it.

it was when he looked at his phone's time, exiting the locker rooms did he realize that he was forgetting something important. he didn't realize what is was though, but he tried to shrug it off by joining komori to go to a convenience store to get some celebration snacks, particularly umeboshi filled rice balls.

it was when he was paying for the snacks did he see a cute pink bear keychain, did he remember what he forgot about. within a second, and almost scaring his dear cousin, did he quickly pay and practically dash out the store, running down the sidewalk to the way to of the park. he ignored the oncoming rain clouds and sounds of thunder, almost slipping and running into many water puddles, almost falling his way down the stairs of the park.

he only stopped running when he was 10 feet away from the bench, chest heavy and rapidly moving as he tried to regain his breath. the sun was already setting, the sky in a shade of bright red to a solemn cloudy blue. he walked closer to the bench, eyes guilty as he took in your rain-soaked uniform and wet hair.

"why didn't you just go home." he asked, though it didn't sound much like a question, more like a demand. you stayed quiet for a minute, and during that minute, did sakusa's mind be purged with similar questions of why didn't you just go home. he just couldn't understand you.

"because i just wanted to talk with you, is all."

he mentally facepalmed at your response. are you serious? his eyebrows visibly cringed, mouth slightly agape at your nonchalant, almost brain cell-degrading response. no way this is real. no way you are real.

suddenly he found himself coming towards you, grabbing you from the bench with your wrist, forcing you onto your feet as he dragged you along with him to walk home. he didn't know where the hell you lived, but that didn't stop him from dragging you with him. on the way, he scolded you so intensely at some point he was just blabbering about how you piss him off so much, and that he just can't seem to understand how stupid you are.

for what reason did you do all of that for?! just to talk? unbelievable.

his almost insulting words and near-degradation just seemed to go in one ear, and out the other though, as you found yourself giggling and making mischievous remarks to his verbal abuse. your non-serious responses without a care in the word just seemed to make him angrier, the veins in his neck almost prominent because he was just that angry.

after a lot of walking around, he somehow found where you live without your help because you seemed to enjoy his suffering, and after a especially crude and almost bewildering response from you did he just have enough of you. before you could even laugh, he was spinning around to face you, grabbing you roughly by your shoulders, and shaking you intensely. almost as if he was trying to shake some common sense into you.

after condemning you to the hell, he roughly shoved two umeboshi rice balls and the pink bear keychain into your chest before storming off home. you ignored the way he basically assaulted you, only smiling at the fact that he had obviously thought of you when buying two umeboshi rice balls. he said it was his favorite food one of the first few times you had talked with him.

walking into your empty house, where you had no siblings, and two very hard-working parents. sitting down onto the floor's ledge to take off your shoes, you grabbed your school bag, adding the 11th keychain to your collection.

you blushed intensely at the seemingly little detail. how cute of him to note your little obsessions.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

yet another day that left sakusa laying awake at night thinking about the day's nonsense. particularly, your nonsense.

he was closing his damn eyes! he was somehow getting a headache from it. the "useful hack" his mother always told him on school nights when he seemed to have a hard time sleeping wasn't working. he found himself sighing in defeat, eyes wondering to the clock besides his bed every 5 minutes or so.

2:44am. massaging his temple, he laid his palm over his forehead. you're going to be the death of him. for the past few weeks, you've been almost plaguing his life. you've plagued his park, his school, his volleyball, hell, even his dreams.

could he even call them dreams? more like nightmares.

his hand traveled down to his mouth, covering it in denial.

his eyes were low with resistance and exhaustion, softly fluttering as he deeply inhaled, preparing himself as he sought out for reasoning and "maybe"s to explain your stupid actions and the way you've become such a distraction to his once peaceful life.

except, there were no "maybe"s. only one truth, that he doesn't want to accept

he let out the breath he's been holding back for the past minute or so for a sigh of defeat. his other free hand comes to lay against his chest, feeling his heart beat rebelliously against his will.

he finally feels the need for sleep, eyes closing to escape from his thoughts. he's had enough for the day. he's had enough. before he lulls asleep, he thinks back to the question he's only asked himself during the similar times when he wasn't able to fall asleep due to mindlessness curiosity.

what is love?

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

the day after that, sakusa hesitantly makes his way to the park.

it's cold as hell, he might have to start taking the much shorter route home, but he knows he won't.

he's slow with his walk in the park, knowing that towards the end, he'll have to pass by you, and engage with you like always. when he does walk past you, you don't engage with him as quickly as you usually do.

he doesn't know if it's because today, the weather is shit, or if it's because he looked almost disturbed at the sight of you after yesterday, or perhaps.. no. he shakes his head at the "maybe"s, it's best to be logical. he thinks that you're stupid enough to not have connected the dots.

he stands, again, away from you, almost as if he's ready to just walk away from you. but today, unlike his usual 8-10 feet distance sway from you, he's gotten closer. he's instead 5 feet away from you, how cute of him to try to try to be closer today, even after you put him through hell yesterday.

he puts his hands into the pockets of his trousers. you chalk it up to him being cold because he wasn't wearing gloves, for a matter of fact, he hasn't been wearing gloves for a while now. he used to have a pair, black, but he seemingly has lost them.

you stay observing him for a minute, eyebrow raised and mouth in a fine-line. he cowers his head into his black scarf, a little nervous due to your sudden stoicism.

you observe him even closer now that he's physically closer to you. he has nice hair, quite fluid and bouncy curls that move with the sharp wind. he has nice cheekbones, nose tall and great. it's cute how his one pale feature are now twinged with a light redness due to the cold.

you think he looks better in the winter, his dark and mysterious aura blends in with the subliminal background. almost like a model. with his dark coat and scarf, he looks snug and cozy, you're jealous.

suddenly, you're smiling at him mischievously. "'omi.." you coo, arms reaching for your school bag. at first. he used to scold you for addressing him by his first name, heartlessly telling you that you're not his friend, and that it's disrespectful not to use honorifics with someone you barely know. but now, he finds himself somehow softening at the nickname you've given him. somehow. but he's more nervous at the way you're smiling at him, smiling at him the way a teacher with no empathy does after they gave their student detention after being late by one minute.

he's prideful at the way he was able to hide he was about to turn blue from holding his breath as he wrote up your unusual behavior as you point out the newest collection to your keychains. "i really like the keychain you got me." you snide.

he silently nods at your words, not unusual due to his quiet nature. "i think it was really cute." you smirk. his head props up at the praise, "yeah, i got it at the little convenience store near the-", "no, i'm not talking about the keychain. i mean, i am, but i thought it was cute that you bought it for me." you interrupt, eyes crinkled up into a silly smile.

"were you thinking of me?" you say, covering your mouth in feigned surprise. his once stoic features turned almost annoyed. he finds that his face heats up, but chalks it up to the cold temperature.

his eyes blink a few times as you randomly start looking through the messy-ness that you call the contents of your bag, rummaging through crinkled up papers and candy wrappers before you seemingly find what you're looking for. with speeds that he swears he's never seen your lazy ass travel at, you whip out a pair of knit thick black gloves, holding it close to your face as you show it off to him before holding it them out for him.

"i made them for you. i noticed you haven't worn your black gloves in awhile, did you lose them?" with that, his annoyed expression soon softens with defeat.

usually due to the short daylight timing now, he would be heading home. the sun is close to setting, and the temperature is only getting lower. but, he finds sighing to himself slowing making his way closer to the bench before sitting down on it for the first time ever in the history of the past four months of talking with him.

you grin at this, mouth opening to start yet another mindless conversation with him.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

"yo, kiyoomi. do you have any plans for this saturday?" komori asks, "me and the team are going to go for karaoke and then something to eat. you should come." sakusa finishes wrapping up a knit black scarf around his neck before responding. "no, sorry, i have plans for this saturday. maybe another time."

komori is disappointed, but not surprised. "what do you have planned?" he asks, curious to as what his introvert cousin has planned. he takes note of the new scarf kiyoomi has, it's quite thick and warm looking. it's then does he connect the dots.

"are you going on a date with y/l/n-san?!" he teases, bringing a hand up to tug on the end of the scarf that was most-likely made by you, as, according to what sakusa said about you during the last family function after his mother pointed out sakusa has been seen "nonchalantly" texting with a girl and was all the sudden curt and annoyed.

it was during then that sakusa had admitted it was a girl, but refused the fact that it was in that way of texting, y'know, talking. but following that statement, he proceeded to privately talk to komori about you after he pressed him more on the matter.

one of the only few things sakusa said about it was him hesitantly muttering "she likes to knit, she's a grandma." before he refused to say anything more. it was only until a week later when komori finally met you after he spotted you and sakusa talking in the hallway.

he slapped his hand away from the scarf defensively. "it's not a date! it's just a casual hang-out." he scoffed coldly, hands trying to fight off his cousin's teasing hands, almost turning into a full-on wrestling match.

"congrats on getting a date!" one of his teammates said as he left the locker room, curly hair distressed from the assault he had just endured. he didn't have anymore energy to reply. he was slightly annoyed at his teammates making a big deal out of nothing. but why was he being so defensive about it? even to himself it was weird. overall, as he said, it's just a hang-out. not a date. nothing serious.

his hands fumbled around in his pockets, clad with the gloves you made him as waited at the intersection. his eyes stared at the road lights, counting down the seconds he could cross before eventually the light that was the pedestrian symbol lit up. he crossed with haste, overtaking those also making their way across. "mama, i'm cold," he heard a child say, clinging to their mother's warmth.

it is cold today. very cold, one of the coldest days so far this winter. he's lucky that you were kind enough to make him gloves and eventually a scarf, thick enough that it might as well be considered some type of cold resistant armor. his gloved hand mindlessly comes up to play with the ends of the scarf, it's become like a destresser for him when in large crowds like these.

he finds his anxiety dissipating as he gets closer towards the park, the crowds becoming more scarce before there's only one or two wondering souls walking around. he eventually comes to the main entrance, to the stairs of the sidewalk that leads into the low elevated park's grass. he makes sure to grab onto the metal handrail as he slowly steps down the now frozen-over steps before eventually stepping into the snow clad grass.

it's now december. almost 5 months of meeting you, and 5 months filled with meeting you after-school at this park. he makes his way towards the meeting spot, thick slow crunching underneath his feet with every step.

he sighs deeply as he sees you from across the field. you're just a tiny dot in the horizon, but he knows it's you. . the serene gentle snowfall and almost all-white background seems to be almost unreal as you sit back on the bench, eyes low and face the calmest he's seen as you wait for him.

you haven't seemed to have notice him yet, you have bad senses after-all. he takes this opportunity to just stand there and watch you, wondering if you'll do anything weird or unusual. but you don't, you just sit there, calm, awaiting him. it's not until the breeze picks up and his time of usual arrival has long passed do you start to look around.

much to your surprise, and for some reason, his surprise, do you finally see him standing 15 feet behind you, watching you.

you fluster and babble out obscenities as you connect the dots and realize he's been there all along, watching you. "you watching me this entire time? that's so rude y'know." you pout, arms crossing with feigned annoyance as he takes his place on the bench next to you.

he softly sighs at your whining, "i wanted to see if you would notice. you're not the brightest bulb out there y'know?" he says for-a-matter-of-fact. you proceed to give him the cold shoulder.. for two minutes before you're switching up your attitude and giving him a bright smile, turning your body towards him.

you ask him a question that you've been asking him for the past few days now.

"let's go to the plaza saturday!" you chatter, eyes wide with excitement as you tell him all the "benefits" of him going to the mall with you. "y'know, we can walk around, look at all the stuff, maybe buy some stuff, eat some stuff, and even go see the big christmas tree they put up!" he's quiet after, eyes looking to the side with feigned boredom.

you whine out defeatedly. "c'mon, omi.." the cry of his name has him softening once again. he was going to say yes eventually, just to torture you the way you love to torture him, but with the saying of his once-annoying nickname you chose for him, he gave in, slumping with a sigh.

"gee, fine. i'll go." he said, eyes rolling at your gleeful shouts. he tunes out your excited talks about what the two of you could do at the plaza when he realized that it's getting dark quicker than usual.

you stop talking when he abruptly stands up. "omi? you're leaving already..?" you cry out, eyebrows arching with disappointment. hands patting the snowfall off his coat, he turns to you. he's for some reason quick to soothe you. "we should start getting home, it's already getting dark. i don't want you walking home alone while it's dark."

you blush at his invitation, "you're walking me home..?" his eyebrow arches as he gives you a questioning look. "did i not say i don't want you walking home alone at night? it's dangerous."

"no, you've said enough, let's go!" you say, a hop in your step as you get up and start walking alongside him.

the walk home was unusually quiet yet peaceful. he walked a few steps behind you, whilst you were peacefully unaware, he was paying close attention to any shadow that moved.

at some point, a guy with a large black hood walked past the two of you, thus sparking a large spike of anxiety within sakusa. suddenly, the lazy walk turned into one of haste as his hands became glued to your back, forcing you to practically speed walk.

"kiyoomi! not everyone is an enemy!" you cried out, almost tripping over your own feet after a particular harsh shove when sakusa decided you weren't going fast enough for his liking.

much faster than to your liking, the two of you made it to your home. "better safe than sorry." he said stoically, opening your front gate for you while his eyes were still wandering around for anymore "suspicious" people. you pouted at this lame attempt of walking home together for the first time. "geez, you're such a scaredy cat." you mumbled.

he found himself lightly chuckling at your words. "goodnight, y/n-san," closing your front gate, making sure it was secure and locked, though, he didn't have much faith in it, as it was a simple stake bed latch. you yelled back a farewell goodnight, looking back to look at him as you unlocked your door before giving him a final smile and stepping into your house and closing your front door.

he stood at your gate for a minute before noticing your bedroom light come on, seeing you peek out the window. "what a creep," he hypocritically said to himself before finally walking back the way to his own house, once again passing by the same hooded guy, watching him with cold eyes.

except this time, the hood wasn't on. sakusa's eyes widened with embarrassment as he saw it was a simple, old frail man, almost old looking enough to be someone's great grandma.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

sakusa stayed close to you as the two of you walked around the crowds of people, making sure not to get too close to them for the sake of sakusa's sanity.

it was saturday, and here the two of you were, at the plaza.

sakusa was not big on fashion, but he did make it a point to not be lazy and at least try to look good. but since it was an outing, he made sure to try especially hard to look good. for some reason, he found himself wondering your opinion on some of his clothes as he picked out what to wear.

he sported a black oversized jacket a grey hoodie underneath and black trousers with white shoes. he made sure his curls looked extra tight and bouncy today as well. he also wore the scarf and gloves you made for him

he was relieved when his efforts didn't go unnoticed. "you really outdid yourself today. this is like, my first time seeing you without sweatpants, haha. oh, you smell nice too! did you get a new cologne?" you praised, hand coming to playfully punch at his shoulder.

"no, i wear this cologne, 'like', all the time, you look.. okay today too." he sarcastically said, pausing mid-sentence to eye you with feigned disgust. while you were whining and insulting him back, he took note of your outfit. you were wearing a beige wrap coat and large fluffy pink scar, with cream pants and white boots. he looked away quickly, looking everywhere but you. for some reason you're hard to look at today.

"so do you wanna eat first or-", before you could finish your sentence, you were interrupted by a call of sakusa's first name. you turned to see who called, eyes landing on the familiar face of sakusa's cousin, the rest being what you could only guess as sakusa's volleyball team.

"we didn't expect to see you here! what a coincidence?!" one of his teammates loudly boasted. before either of you could realize it, his teammates had practically surrounded him, separating the two of you. he could only quiver and shake with embarrassment as one of his worst fears could ever come to be. you stood there off to the side as you watched as they basically kidnapped sakusa and at the same time, pampered him like some baby.

you didn't know if you should laugh or just walk away. you know how it was for a guy and his friends. go big or go home.

you were deciding whether or not to fake an emergency before komori had suddenly called your name, catching the attention of his teammates. suddenly, you were the one who was kidnapped and pampered as you were bombarded with questions and introductions. you swear you even heard one of sakusa's teammates scold him for keeping a "big secret" away from them.

sakusa was about to proclaim his innocence and state it was a simple hang-out, not a date, before he literally almost snapped his neck at one of his unaware teammates calling you cute. that was his breaking point, as he found himself forcing a barrier between you and his teammates, practically condemning them to hell.

suddenly one of his teammates had the bright idea to bring what he probably thought was the best suggestion ever. "since we are now all here, let's hang out!" like unison, they all agreed as one, excluding a regretful komori and sakusa. he turned to you with a frightful face as you even agreed.

his worst nightmare, come true.

the next few hours were spent dreadfully as his you and his teammates practically dragged him alongside random places. arcades, shops, entertainment, food stalls, you name it, if it existed, it was visited.

"hey! let's go into this souvenir shop!" komori yelled, taking interest in a specific aesthetically-pleasing souvenir shop. "but we aren't even, like, foreigners.. we live here-", he said, trying to disagree before he was yet again dragged in.

he felt himself at wit's end. he just wanted this to be a relaxing day, with no distractions nor faults. he wasn't even able to talk with you that much, as this entire fucking time, his teammates were treating you like some damn celebrity. he somberly walked around the souvenir shop, nothing particularly special or eye-catching.

he was walking with a limp in his step before he suddenly nearly bumped into you. all the sudden, he had no limp and he wasn't dying of boredom. "aren't these cute?" you purred, eyes glued to silver keychains of various designs. he took note of the keychains, some of them gold, some of religious designs, some of animals, some mixed with stars and hearts.

he nodded to your question. "yes, they are." the sweet, finally quiet moment between the two of you was suddenly interrupted by a loud, grating voice of the same seemingly still unaware teammate from earlier addressing you by your first name. "hey y/n, what you lookin' at?" he cheerfully said, clearly not having a speck of awareness.

sakusa felt weird for some reason. almost a bit embarrassed. no, thats not it. he can't quite bit his finger on it. "oh, so suddenly you're on a first name basis with y/n-san? she's your senior, and you just met her didn't you?" he snided, almost growling at his blissfully unaware teammate.

his teammate frowned at sakusa's harsh words, "she doesn't have a problem with it. why do you care?" sakusa found himself almost fuming at that, only calming down komori finally stepped in, overhearing their conversation from nearby.

"hey, kiyoomi, y/l/n, we are gonna go back to the arcade, do you wanna come?" he asked, trying to diffuse the situation. thankfully, you declined his invitation, too fixated in the many keychains in front of you. sakusa happily declined, bidding farewell to his teammates.

as he watched them leave, he couldn't help but be so bothered by the whole situation. hand in his pocket, he frowned at the experience. he tuned everything out, only replying to your questions with short responses.

why is this so difficult? why is he even so mad? he can't just be mad at his teammate like that. but he is. but why? it was just small talk between the two of you. but then again, his teammate doesn't know you like that enough to be referring and talking to you like you're a good friend of his or something.

sakusa himself doesn't even refer your first name without honorifics, and he definitely didn't call you by your first name within three hours of meeting you too. his teammate doesn't know the way you have an obsession with keychains. his teammate doesn't know you like knitting. his teammate doesn't know the first 5 things about you like sakusa does, so he needs to stop with being all buddy-buddy with you.

mid-mental rant, he oddly found his hand coming up to his scarf, intertwining his fingers with the ends of the loose yarn. his eyebrows are furrowed intensely with thought as he tried to figure out whats bothering him.

he's distressed as his fingers fumble with the yarn, mind working as he tries to figure out a solution to this new issue of his.

"omi?" you coo out.

he's quick to look up at you, voice alluring and gentle. "omi, aren't these cute?" he takes a second as he regains himself to look at whatever you're cooing over.

two silver keychains. both imprinted of with a weasel, molded of exact shapes to fit together like puzzle pieces when forced together. little stars and hearts surrounding the weasels in question. two silver matching keychains of weasels that seem to be in love, meant for couples.

"omi?" you say once again, awaiting a response from him. he's yet to respond, eyes slightly wide as he realizes he's found the issue. he takes a minute before he's asking you a question that he's been longing to be answered.

"y/n-san," he hesitantly calls out. you finally look at him, acknowledging the odd tone within his voice. you tilt your head at him, plump lips tilted upwards in a pout.

"y/n-sa-.. y/n.. what is love to you?"

your eyes widen at his unexpected question. you stammer and awkwardly giggle at his question, "w-what?" he's quick to remind you of his question, "what is love, to you."

you blink a few times before your eyes soften and you turn back to look at the matching keychains. "to me.. love is when you just.." you mumble. sakusa cranks his head at that, still quite confused at your answer.

you take his obvious confusion to elaborate further. "..w-well, love can be different for many people. for some, y'know, it could be love-at-first-sight, like they just make eye contact with someone and just fall in love with them.." you check to see if he's still confused and listening before you continue on.

"..then there's unrequited love, which is kinda one sided.. theres platonic love, y'know the love you give to your family. compassionate is when you not only feel love, but also sexual desire. there's obviously self-love. there's also love where it's obsessive, which is less about love and more about control-," mid-blabbering sakusa had interrupted you. "but what is love, to you."

ah. you finally took the keychains off their rack, holding the cold silver within your palms, smiling down at them warmly. "to me, love is when you just adore someone so much.. like you wanna be with them all the time, wanna talk to them all the time. you'll try your best for them, even if they try to push you away. you can't help but think of them constantly, you get reminded of them by the tiniest things ever.." you paused for a second, cheeks a twinge of red.

"some call that unconditional love. when you love them no matter what. 'n omi.. y'know.." you took a deep inhale, preparing to face him. "i really don't know, it's a little too early to say.. but.. i really like you.." you confessed, voice growing meek towards the end, finally shifting your whole body towards him.

only, he wasn't where he was standing a literal five minutes ago. no, you looked around the store, occasionally calling out his name, still holding the two matching keychains within your clenched, nervous hands.

he was gone.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

he was glad it was during winter break did he last see you. he wouldn't be able to face you if he had to see you so soon.

he couldn't sleep, it was now the day of new year's eve. he glanced up at the clock. 2:09AM

for the past week or so, he had you on mute, stomach dropping with guilt every time he saw the many unopened messages you sent him, the last one being sent earlier during the evening.

he brushed a hand through his distressed curls, hoping to alleviate his stress. komori and his teammates has also sent him messages as well, many of which along the lines of "hey, what happened? where did you go?" or even "where are you? y/l/n is all alone."

what made him even more stressed was when the very same teammate from saturday had texted sakusa asking for your number. sakusa didn't even respond to that dumb message.

sakusa sat up in his bed, giving up on sleeping. eventually, he'll have to face you, he can't hide from you forever. forehead crinkling at the obnoxious light of his phone, he pressed a hesitant think to your contact, heart regretting immediately when he saw your texts.

6:54PM omi where did u go?

7:00PM u okay? did u leave?

7:11PM i found komori and the others

7:15PM did i make you uncomfortable?

7:15PM im really sorry if i did

7:34PM ur teammate is offering to walk me home

7:36PM komori is walking me home too

7:36PM ur cousin is so nice! ur teammate is rllly funny too haha ヾ(^ ^ゞ

7:50PM just made it home

7:52PM kinda wouldve preferred if it was u who walked me home haha (≖͞_≖̥)

9:03PM goodnight kiyoomi ´･ᴗ･`

he couldn't help but furrow his eyebrows in distaste at the mention of his teammate, although slightly relieved at komori making so you wouldn't be alone with him. you texted him the day after a few more times after before you stopped texting all together.

the last text you sent this evening was you wishing sakusa a happy new year with a bunch of happy emojis. his felt swelled with what he now knows what he's been feeling these couple months of knowing you. the tender fondness he has for you has him chewing on his lip with anxiety.

before he could stop himself, his fingers began to tap against the screen.

2:20AM y/n let's talk.

with a regretful sigh, he lowered his elbow over his eyes in shame. he relaxed his body, heart steady. only, his heart once calm started to beat intensely once he saw the familiar light up of his phone.

2:22AM let's meet at the park for new years?

this is the longest fic ive ever written and it's only half of it i dont expect it to get a whole lot attention cuz its quite shit my phone is lagging as i write this im splitting it into two parts because my phone cant handle this PLEAE leave a like and repost 😭 prt 2.

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pluckyredhead · 3 months

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just because you just answered an ask about kon stories i am still made at the superboy man of tomorrow for setting up such an interesting arc with kon feeling superfluous to the superfamily, and clark not even noticing for a while that he’s left the planet, for such a supremely average comic and kon hand waving clark’s single attempt at an apology like it didn’t matter.

I one hundred percent agree with you, but I also feel like...it's almost not the Superboy mini's fault it was mid, because...what the hell kind of character development are we going to get out of any miniseries? Especially in the 2020s, where all miniseries are like, Issue 1: Introduce the concept; Issues 2-5: Nonstop action!; Issue 6: I guess we have to wrap things up now? There's no room for any kind of character or relationship growth because contemporary comic book storytelling simply isn't structured that way.

I did a deep dive into 80s/90s Superman comics a few months ago, and one thing that really struck me was how much time they spent on character. There were a billion subplots and every supporting character got one. Every issue told me not just what was going on for both Superman and Clark Kent, but what was going on with Lois, Jimmy, Ma and Pa, Perry, Perry's wife, Perry's terrible son Jerry, Cat Grant, Pete Ross and Lana Lang, Jose Delgado (MISS U JOSE, COME BACK TO ME), Professor Hamilton, Lex, and usually a handful of other antagonists. Pete and Lana didn't even live in Metropolis or Smallville or hang out with any of the other main characters, and the comics were still constantly like "Better check in on Pete and Lana!" And it never felt overfull, because the comics were structured to keep the central plot moving forward while always juggling multiple narrative balls, so that when, for example, Superman finished saving Cat from Morgan Edge and Intergang, the latest Jimmy plotline would be ready to take center stage.

I'm mostly enjoying the current era of Superbooks because I like seeing all my blorbos, but I'm frustrated too, because they finally have the whole Superfamily all hanging out all the time and they haven't actually done anything with it but let them all strike a dramatic pose on a splash page once per issue. (And, I guess, hint vaguely that various characters feel insecure - Kon, Jon, Kara, Karen - but never ever ever let those hints become satisfying stories.) Between Superman and Action Comics (especially when the latter was still an anthology book), they absolutely have the page count to tell a story about whatever villain Clark is currently fighting...and also Lois's struggles to lead up the Planet while Perry is in the hospital, and also Jon adjusting to not being the baby anymore in the face of his own lost childhood, and also Kon coming to terms with the Lex side of his DNA, and also Kara getting to do literally anything interesting, and also Kenan adjusting to living in America (...is he???), and so on. They're just letting a limited story bloat to fill the page count, instead of adding more story.

I mean. I cannot imagine picking up a Superman book in 1989 and not knowing what a character's job was or where they lived. Where the fuck do Kara or Kenan live? Is Jon living at home? How did the Kents fit two extra children in their apartment, then? What the hell does Jon do all day if he gave up on school after 20 minutes? If Kon is still in high school as that one terrible backup story implied, why is it not a problem for him to go into space for weeks or spend every day in Metropolis? Is Kenan commuting from China? Do Kara and Natasha have jobs? WHAT DO THESE PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY ARE NOT SPLASH PAGE POSING???

Anyway. All that was a little beside the point of what you asked, but I think my point was: we're never going to get anything satisfying with Kon (or Jon, or Kara, or anyone else) until a) he gets to take up space in an ongoing that b) is concerned with something more than fighting the latest villain or Shocking Revelations.

#superboy #kon el #superman #superfamily #comics #meta

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wastelandlovingscenarios · 4 months

Text

undeniable | porter gage x female! sole survivor

a/n: am i finally back on my bullshit, uploading on a random sunday night? this is different from what i usually write, but hey! im definitely writing something. im too tired to revise or edit this bc its 12 AM, so ill look it over in the morning. just thought i'd post something silly.

♡ based off a modern au where gage and the sole survivor are childhood bestfriends in another life.

For as long as Gage can remember, she’s been a burden. Being nearly five years older than her and her guardian -- or her best friend, as she likes to call him -- he’s always felt inclined to watch over her. He doesn’t know why, he knows he doesn't necessarily need to, but the thought of abandoning her feels wrong. So he tries to find reasons as to why -- was it because they both grew up in terrible conditions together and only had each other? Or was it because he knew the moment he let her dumbass go into the real world alone, she’d somehow get herself killed?

He shakes his head. Finding a reason was nothing but a waste of time, his mind overworking itself more than it already was. He dumbs it down to simply getting used to the routine of caring for her since they were children. If he fucks up his schedule now, he’d have to go through the trouble of rearranging everything around once again and readjust to his new lifestyle.

‘Yeah,’ he thinks to himself, unlocking his apartment door, twisting the knob, ‘It’ll be nothing but fucking trouble.’

Once he pushes the door open, his boots thumping against the tiled floor of his apartment, he sees her sitting on the couch, distracted by the show playing on the television. His eyes darted over to the coffee table in front of her, papers and open textbooks strewn across the poor thing, obviously untouched and just displayed prettily to mimic the idea that she was being productive.

With a low grumble, he tosses his bag on the counter nearby and takes off his boots before grabbing the remote lying on the couch. She’s so invested in her little show that she barely even notices him walking in with a scowl and an annoyed sigh. Sole jumps when the television shuts off suddenly, a gasp leaving her lips before turning her head to the side.

“Hey, I was watching!” she whines, already rising from the couch to pick another fight with him. He doesn’t show any reaction and instead, crosses his arms with an unimpressed expression while he holds the remote hostage.

She tries her best to grab it from his hand but he rolls his eyes, gently pushing her back down onto the couch.

“Quit watchin’ and start studyin’. Yer not gonna get shit done like this.”

She huffs angrily, her eyes narrowing at him, “Gage, a little break wouldn’t hurt every once in a while.”

“And what have you accomplished since I left for work this afternoon?”

Sole swallows nervously, her mouth going dry at his questions as she opens and closes it, trying her best to stand her ground. He raises a brow, giving her a chance to respond and redeem herself, but he already knows. She was a fool for thinking she could get away with such a lie, knowing that Gage knew her better than anyone else.

“Thought so,” he stuffed the remote in the back of his pocket, “Now be a good girl and finish yer damn work. I’m not paying yer tuition for you to fuck around.”

Sole groans but listens obediently, pulling the coffee table closer to her. She grabs her laptop and unlocks it, opening her notes before reaching over to snatch one of her textbooks.

“I don’t understand why you’re on my ass about my studies so much, Gage,” she complains, highlighting something in her book a bit roughly, “You didn't even finish high school, so why does it even matter?”

He doesn’t spare her much of an answer, walking over to the kitchen to find something to cook for them, “Exactly my point. You wanna be better than me.”

“But you make so much money, you’re able to provide for both of us!” she throws her hands in the air, desperately trying to prove a point to her stubborn roommate, who seemed to be firm on his words.

“That’s only because I got connections. Now shut your mouth and study.”

He doesn’t find much in the fridge nor the cabinets, silently setting a reminder in his mind to do a grocery run first thing tomorrow before work. Eventually, he decides to heat up some leftovers they had for lunch and cut up some fruit for her to snack on while she did her work. It’s shit, he knows, but it’ll do till tomorrow.

He makes his way back to the living room, plopping on the couch next to her and setting the food on the coffee table, maintaining a good distance between their dinner and her work. The last thing he wanted was to spill anything on her laptop and notes -- it would only give her another reason not to be productive.

He doesn’t say much, but his eyes flicker over to her for a moment, a small smile on his face at the sight of her seemingly focused on her work now, a sense of satisfaction overcoming him. Gage leans back on the couch, pulling his phone out to distract himself while he kept her company in the living room. He takes a few bites of his portion of the leftovers, glancing at Sole here and there to ensure she was still on track.

It’s a peaceful few minutes, he can’t recall how long, as they both sit in silence, her music playing softly in the background to fill up the white noise. Suddenly, he hears a sigh, sounding a bit defeated, and his eyes set on her sulking figure.

“Gage, I know that you want the best for me, but I’m nearly twenty-three and you still treat me like a kid.” he stares at her, not showing any reaction but notices how she refused to make eye contact with him, her eyes glued to the screen of her laptop.

When she doesn’t get a response, she closes her eyes before turning her body towards him, her expression serious, but he can see right through her. She’s pleading, but not in an annoying bratty way like she usually does, so he decides to listen to her troubles.

She scoots closer to him and he watches, his phone long forgotten in his hand, “I’m really grateful for you and all that, but you need to trust that I can do well in school and balance my time. You can’t take care of me forever.”

Instead of getting a response like she’d hope for, she was met with the usual silence he often provided her when she tried to set her boundaries. With an irate expression, she turned back to her laptop, her face flushed in embarrassment, feeling like her words vanished into thin air.

She should’ve known better than to talk to Gage — he was a man of few words and she didn’t know why she expected him to at least say something to show that he at least cared about her feelings one way or the other.

Before she could continue studying to hide her embarrassment and anger, she hears his voice and freezes.

“I know.” his voice is gravelly, a bit of exhaustion mixed into it, and her head shoots to him, a bit stunned at his broken silence. Her eyes are wide, body paralyzed at the sudden response. There’s a slight flush on his face but she convinces herself it’s the lighting.

Definitely.

He knows she’s waiting for more than just that and he sighs, crossing his arms as he makes eye contact with her the best he can without losing his shit, “Just want you to have a good future. Want you to live a better life than what I’m giving you right now before I send you off.”

Suddenly, she’s overcome with guilt and she immediately leans over to him, her hands finding his as she cuts him off, “No, that’s not what I meant!”

With another breath, she composes herself before speaking.

“Gage, you’ve given me everything I’ve wanted and needed, the last thing I’ll ever do is criticize your care for me. I don’t plan on leaving your side, even when I get a better life.”

His heart twinges and his feelings for her resurface, but he pushes it down.

She pulls on the sleeves of his hoodie, playing with the fabric with her fingers, “I just want you to trust me more. I know I’ve been slacking a bit, but I’d never fail school, especially when I know you’re working hard to provide for both of us and paying for my tuition. I’d never do that to you.”

“Wouldn’t say I’m working hard,” he downplays it, not wanting her to fret about such a miniscule matter.

She groans, “You work twelve hour shifts everyday. Sometimes fourteen!”

He shrugs nonchalantly and Sole pouts at his stubbornness, smacking his arm with annoyance. Gage bites back a smirk, amused by her behavior and catches her wrist midair, her eyes rolling. Instead of providing her with a response, he digs in his pocket and hands her the remote to the TV and her eyes light up, a smile forming on her pretty face. His heart aches at the sight. It was such a small action but it was more than enough to validate her feelings.

“Thank you, you’re the best!” she jumped over, throwing her arms around his neck as she embraced him tightly.

His face flushed heavily and tried to seem annoyed to cover it up but the stutter in his voice and the tenseness of his shoulders gave it away. Gage pushed her away with his hand as he groaned quietly, “I get it, don’t need to be so damn happy about it.”

However, she pecked his cheek and he froze instantly, his body paralyzed and his voice raising in embarrassment, “Q-Quit it!”

She giggles and doesn’t take much offense to his words, knowing that he was nothing but a big softie for her. As she released him, she smiled at him happily once more before turning to the TV and putting her show back on.

Gage rubbed the spot where she kissed, his face a deep red as he tried to regain his composure. Suddenly, he pushes down the real reason of why he refused to leave her side for the millionth time, reminding himself that there were several other possibilities other than that.

‘What a damn burden,’ he thinks to himself, desperately trying to fight back his feelings for her, his eyes glued to her gleeful form next to him.

Suddenly, her kiss lingered on his skin a little too long, the feeling of her arms around him marking his skin, and he’s left absolutely horrified, realizing that he could no longer convince himself otherwise.

Maybe accepting it was better than constantly running and Gage thinks it over for a moment but ultimately shakes his head, wanting to do anything but that.

‘Just a stupid thought. Some stupid fucking feelings,’ he settles for that answer but knows deep down that he’s already lost the battle, his heart hammering in his chest.

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grapenehifics · 5 months

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Not to tell you about *every* time I hear Solsbury Hill on the radio but…

Can you tell us why you picked it as the title for your fic? I feel there’s more to your reasoning than “grab your things I’ve come to take you home” and I’d love to hear your thoughts [it’s also maybe pretty obvious(?) but I’m really, really shit at 1) song lyrics 2) song meanings and 3) applying them to other contexts 🙈]

My friend, there is almost nothing I would rather talk about than the intersection between Peter Gabriel*, Genesis, Solsbury Hill the place, Solsbury Hill the song, and Solsbury Hill the fic.

(*Peter Gabriel, and all the members of Genesis, are real people, and would probably tell this story very differently. But they're not here to correct me [oh god, at least, I hope not], and this is how I heard the story, and I am going to tell it the way I know it. Apologies to all those living or dead.)

Sometime in the late 1960s a group of British schoolboys formed the prog rock band Genesis, and by the early 1970s they were...maybe not world-famous, but huge by prog rock standards, anyway, with a couple of albums and a tour. The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway came out and it was a big enough deal that they got offered an American tour, too.

They were all still pretty young (they'd started basically in high school) and Peter Gabriel, their lead singer and main songwriter, had recently got married and he and his wife had a baby (this will become relevant in a second). So they go on the American tour and maybe about halfway through Peter turns to his bandmates and is like, "so...I'll finish the tour with you, because I promised I would, but when we get back home I'm quitting the band."

The other guys were stunned, obviously, because this was the moment they'd worked for. They'd already gotten through all the shitty garage band years, which is where most people give up, and now they were at the good part! They were on an international tour! The money was good! Their albums were selling! They had more fans than they'd ever thought they'd have! What on earth would possess someone to want to give all that up?

(The part of this story that is less-charitable to Peter Gabriel is that one of the answers he gave was 'more creative freedom' and his band was like...but you already write all our songs? What possible *more* creative freedom do you think you need?)

It wasn't just the band, though. His managers and the record company and everyone all told him that was a terrible, terrible idea, and there were a sizable contingent of Genesis fans who just refused to follow him to his solo career because they were mad at him for walking out on Genesis, wrecking the band, how dare he be so ungrateful...

(Genesis did fine without him, actually. Phil Collins took over on vocals and they had another couple of albums and some hit songs before going kind of weirdly soft-rock in the 80s.)

Also - and this is an important detail - when he left the band, there was no solo career. He didn't have any songs. I don't think he even had an agent. He was kind of on the outs with the industry for pulling that stunt. He spent the first year after he quit - while Genesis was recording a new album without him - just hanging out at home with his wife and baby daughter.

Eventually he did get back in the studio, and one of the songs on his first solo album was Solsbury Hill, largely regarded to be the most autobiographical of his songs (Solsbury Hill is an actual, physical hill in Somerset, near where he grew up). It's pretty blatantly about quitting Genesis, including being unhappy in the band:

So I went from day to day Though my life was in a rut

I was feeling part of the scenery

And liberty, she pirouette When I think that I am free

and trying to get up the courage to leave even knowing it would almost universally be regarded as a really dumb move and would very possibly end his entire music career even though he was still in his twenties:

My friends would think I was a nut Open doors would soon be shut

But eventually doing it anyway:

To keep in silence I resigned

I walked right out of the machinery

I will show another me

Then he writes about how, even though it was scary and he didn't know what the consequences were going to be, he was glad he did it:

Though my life was in a rut 'Til I thought of what I'd say Which connection I should cut

Today I don't need a replacement I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant

And he personifies all this as a person, or more accurately hearing a voice (while climbing Solsbury Hill, hence the title), and the progression of what the voice tells him mirrors the rest of the lyrics. First it's:

"Son, " he said "Grab your things, I've come to take you home."

and

"Hey, " he said "Grab your things, I've come to take you home."

But the final lines are the singer answering back:

"Hey, " I said "You can keep my things, they've come to take me home."

And not to belabor the metaphor, but that's what I see as the equivalent of the first quarter or so of Solsbury Hill the fic, at least the beginning to the Bakersfield hospital chapters. Peter Gabriel and Anakin both got the exact thing they thought they wanted - a record deal, a tour, money, fame, wealth - and then turned out once they had it, they actually didn't really want it all that much anymore, and the reality of it wasn't worth keeping it.

But also mixed in there is some shame, right, because to everyone else it looks like you have it all. Every kid around the world with a guitar and a garage bands wants what you have. Every kid on their school swim team watching the Olympics on TV wants that. And now you've got it, and you're just...going to hand it back? Say it's not good enough? This thing that feeds your family and lets you see the world? How dare you spit on that!

But all they really want - in both stories - is more time with the people they love. And yes, in both cases, there are ways to fix that - Peter Gabriel could have taken his wife and baby with him on tour, Anakin could have not fired Obi-Wan and taken up with Palpatine - but in the middle of that situation and looking down the barrel of year after year of touring and competition and the toll it takes on your body and your mental health - suddenly the smart play starts looking like turning you back on it, tearing the whole thing down, and starting over. Even if it means living without the money and the fame and the recognition and universal goodwill. Who cares. Keep it all. Keep my things; I don't need them; I just need you.

I'm going home.

#solsbury hill

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qqueenofhades · 5 months

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Wait hold up you know SIX LANGUAGES

Like I grew up bilingual (English in school and Spanish at home) and got through my two years of a foreign language in high school relearning (terrible) textbook Spanish, and I genuinely do not think my brain could hold another language in there if I tried and wouldn’t even know where to go about start to learn another one

But holy shit SIX langauges is so incredibly impressive and I dunno if you've talked about it before, but could you share a little more about how/why you have SO MANY?

Aha, thanks. I know that someone (recently?) asked me about this, but I can't be arsed to dig through my archives to find that answer, so the short version is:

I have studied French in some capacity for most of my life (it was the main foreign language in my house; my parents both speak it); this was enough to successfully bullshit a last-minute MA graduate proficiency exam while barely studying (seriously, don't do this) and then I did medieval French history for my PhD. This means I can read most things, including complicated academic texts (I will not understand a certain word here and there, but otherwise fine), and speak/understand enough to get around in France by myself.

My Spanish and Italian is somewhat ancillary to that. I studied Italian in high school and used to remember a lot more than I do now, enough to translate things, but (alas) I haven't practiced it in a while and lost most of it (but if I worked on it for a while, it would probably come back). I live in a fairly bilingual Spanish-English city and also briefly studied Spanish once upon a time, so there are daily opportunities to read and/or hear it. I would not say my current grasp of either one is particularly outstanding, but still generally enough to at least get the sense of things I read.

I am a medievalist, so I had to study Latin. It was kind of unavoidable. Not gonna lie, I Did Not Enjoy It, though if I had actually planned my career trajectory better, I should have taken it in undergrad. But I didn't, because why would you do that to yourself voluntarily? In any event, I can read charters and documents and primary source texts in Latin, although slowly and with a lot of swearing and recourse to William Whitaker's Words. I certainly can't read literary or elaborate poems or whatever, but for what I do, it's fine.

I taught myself how to read Cyrillic and started studying Russian during the first lockdown in 2020. I can understand some basic phrases and a few grammatical conventions, read text, understand the alphabet, and a few other things, though it is (as noted) very beginner-level. I would like to brush up on it, but that is among the many, MANY things I do not have actual time and/or brainpower for.

#anonymous #ask

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sourwolf-sterek32 · 2 months

Text

Serve & Protect

Summary: You moved to the small quiet town of Hawkins after transferring from the NYPD and reunite with your old partner, Jim Hopper. However, Hawkins isn't as quiet as it seems, and your past follows you there.

Pairing: Jim Hopper x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: Language

Previous Chapter

A/N: Yes, the title for this story has now changed, sorry for any confusion. I felt like Serve & Protect was more fitting. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this sweet chapter... we get into season 3 very soon!

Chapter 7- Snow Ball

It had been a couple of weeks since you found out about the Upside Down and life had been surprisingly mundane since.

You had been on high alert for any monster sightings around town, but if you were being honest, you were more on lookout for your old work partner, Hank. Since that voice message he left, you hadn't heard from him.

The most exciting thing that had happened was Mrs O'Neil's cat getting stuck in a tree and you guys had to block off the road while the fire fighters got it down.

That gash on your stomach was healing up nicely, but you were still stuck on light duties at work under the Chief's order. The others at the station all thought you had been in a minor car accident, but it wasn't like you were going to tell them that you were attacked by a monster from an alternate dimension.

"Where are Powell and Callahan?" Hoppers voice suddenly asked.

You looked up from the report you were typing to find him walking through the front door of the station with a brown paper bag in one hand and a yellow envelope in the other.

"Out on patrol. They got sick of office work." You replied, motioning towards the files in front of you. "If someone didn't put me on light duties, I would be out there with them."

Hopper rolled his eyes, "you nearly bled out that day."

"It was just a scratch."

"A scratch that required stitches." He muttered, dropping the paper bag on the file in front of you. "Consider that a bribe."

You raised your eyebrows, "a bribe for what?"

"Owens pulled a few strings." He said, handing you the yellow envelope.

Curiously, you opened the envelope and pulled out the piece of paper, but frowned in confusion because this was an adoption document. Why was Hopper showing you some random adoption paper?

"What is..." You trailed off when you read the name at the top of the paper. Jane Hopper. "Holy shit. Is this real?"

"Doctor Owens made it real. El is officially my daughter.... and I have no idea what I'm doing." He admitted, pulling his hat off and running his fingers through his hair almost nervously.

You carefully tucked the paper inside the envelope and handed it back to Hopper who had now began to pace the office. You watched him for a few seconds in amusement before you spoke.

"You don't need to worry. You're a good father and El already likes you. Why are you so nervous?"

"Because Owens said it isn't safe for her to be out in the world yet. But I'm letting her go out for one night with her friends." He answered, still pacing in front of your desk. "The middle school Snow Ball. It's tomorrow night."

You nodded, opening the brown paper bag to find a chocolate donut inside before looking back to Hopper in confusion.

"I am failing to find a connection between that and this donut bribe though."

Hopper stopped in his tracks looking over at you, "I need your help."

"With...?"

"El needs a dress. I'd get one myself, but-"

"You have a terrible fashion sense? Yeah, I know." You said, cutting him off causing him to chuckle softly. "What size is she?"

"Uh..."

You rolled your eyes, "I'll get a few options for her."

The following afternoon you found yourself parking your car in front of Hoppers cabin in the woods. At first, you weren't sure if you were at the right place, but then you saw El's head pop out from behind the curtain in the front window.

You waved to the little girl in the window before you pulled the key out the ignition and climbed out the car, grabbing the large shopping bag from the backseat.

"Y/N!" El called out, opening the front door with a wide smile and a slightly confused expression. "Hopper is working."

"I know. I've got something for you." You said, holding up the shopping bag.

Her eyes lit up at the sight of it and you smiled walking up the porch stairs and handing it to her. She took the bag and rushed back inside the house, and you followed, closing the door behind her as she jumped onto the couch and began pulling out the different dresses with wide eyes.

"Are these... for me?" She asked hesitantly.

"You can't go to the Snow Ball in Hoppers old flannel shirt, can you?" You asked and she grinned, shaking her head. "I picked out a few different ones for you. Do you want to go try them on and see which one you like?"

She nodded, taking the bag and rushing to her bedroom. While the girl tried the dresses on, you looked around the main room of the cabin. You weren't sure what you expected Hopper's house to look like, but it wasn't this.

You had visited his old house back in New York too many times to count. His ex-wife Diane invited you over for Sunday afternoon roasts nearly every weekend. Their house was beautiful. It was a two-story modern styled house with the whole white picket fence out the front. It was the total opposite compared to this dark little cabin, but it was homey.

Hopper and Dianes New York house was stunning, but it always made you feel out of place. With the fancy furniture and expensive cutlery that Diane loved, you were always worried you would break something. But, this cabin, it was comfortable. It was perfect.

"Uh, Y/N?" El's voice called out from the bedroom.

"Yeah?"

"I can't... I can't do it."

You turned in confusion just as she opened the bedroom door and you realised that she meant she couldn't do up the back zip. You smiled, walking over and pulling the zip up carefully before taking a step back to get a proper look.

"Do you like?" She asked nervously, looking down at her blue dress.

"You look so pretty. Is this the dress you want to wear?"

She nodded, patting down the sides of the dress with a shy smile spreading across her face. "Will Mike like it?"

You smiled, kneeling in front of the girl before you unclasped your necklace from around your neck and wrapped it around hers. The golden heart shaped pendant rested against her chest which she instantly grabbed, looking down at it with wide eyes and you quickly realised that this was the first piece of jewellery this girl has ever worn.

"You are so pretty, El. It doesn't matter what Mike, or any boy thinks, okay? Their opinions don't matter." You insisted, resting your hand on her shoulder as her big brown eyes met yours. "But Mike would be a total idiot if he didn't like this dress."

El grinned, fiddling with the necklace around her neck before the sound of a car engine rumbled from outside. You glanced over your shoulder, spotting a confused looking Hopper stepping out his Chevy while staring at your truck before he began to walk towards the cabin.

"Do you want to surprise Hopper?" You asked, looking over at El who nodded. "Go to your bedroom and I'll tell you when to come out."

El quickly rushed back into her bedroom, throwing her arm backwards and using her powers to close her door before you turned to the front door just as Hopper walked inside. He still had a confused look on his face but didn't say anything before he shrugged off his jacket and hung it up on the hook on the back of the door.

"This why you asked to leave work 30 minutes early?" He eventually asked.

You nodded, "sorry, I should have asked before just coming to your house-"

"No, no, it's fine. It's nice to have someone other than Mike visiting." Hopper answered, throwing his hat on the table before he paused and looked around. "Where's El?"

"El, sweetie. Come on out." You shouted over your shoulder.

The bedroom door clicked open, but you didn't look at her. You kept your eyes on Hopper wanting to see his reaction and you could pinpoint the exact moment he saw El. His eyes suddenly widened, and mouth opened, but no words came out as he stared at his little girl.

You glanced over at El who was looking at Hopper, her smile fading a little at his stunned silence before she looked over at you in concern, but before you could reassure her that his silence wasn't a bad thing, Hopper finally spoke.

"Wow."

You looked back over at him to find him smiling proudly at El before he glanced over at you and mouthed the words, 'thank you'. You smiled, giving him a small nod before he focused back on El.

"You look so beautiful." Hopper said, walking over and pulling the young girl into his side as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Wait." El suddenly said, pulling away from Hopper. "I-I don't know how to dance."

"Don't look at me kid. You think I can dance?" Hopper responded, shaking his head.

El frowned staring at him before she glanced over at you with hopeful eyes and, shit. You did not want to embarrass yourself and dance in front of Hopper, but how could you say no to those eyes.

"You got any music in this place?" You asked, looking over at Hopper.

He smirked, nodding before he walked across the room and pulled out a record player and a few seconds later, gentle music filled the air.

You turned back to El and held your hand out to her which she took cautiously before you led her into the small clearing in front of the couch and began to sway to the beat of the music.

"C'mon, loosen your body up. Just like this." You encouraged, resting your other hand on her shoulder as El mimicked your movements and began to move her body to the music. "That's it. There you go."

Hopper leant against the wall across the room, watching the two of you with a fond smile on his face while you taught El how to dance. It was a little awkward and El stepped on your feet a few times, but she was a quick learner.

Together you danced to the music, your feet in perfect sync to the slow beat. As the song progressed, El began to relax as she let her body move freely.

"I'm doing it!" El exclaimed as you spun her around, her dress flowing at the movement causing her to grin happily.

"You're doing great, kiddo." Hopper cheered, resetting the record as the song started again.

"Come join us, Hop." You called out, glancing over at him, but he quickly shook his head. "Come on. Dance with us."

"Yeah. Dance with us." El joined in causing Hopper to sigh shaking his head, but to your surprise he walked over to the two of you and you all started to dance.

El was giggling as she grabbed Hopper's hand and the two of them danced together while you danced off to the side, arms flailing in the sky as you moved your body to the beat of the music.

You couldn't remember the last time you did this. When was the last time you've actually danced? It was probably your high school prom if you were being honest, but you didn't remember having this much fun.

Suddenly a hand grabbed yours and before you knew it, you were swung backwards and dipped low to the ground. Hopper leant over you with a smirk before he pulled you back up and placed a hand on your lower back while you rested your hand on his shoulder, your free hands meeting.

Hopper guided you across the loungeroom floor as if you were in a dream. He kept his eyes on you, yet still, he knew exactly where to take you. Every movement, every angle seemed to be planned in advance. Nothing felt forced, and you found yourself feeling like you were floating on air as you danced with him.

The warmth between you grew more powerful by the second. Your heartbeat growing steadily along with it.

He pulled you closer, your bodies inches apart as you tilted your head up. Those beautiful blue eyes locked with yours before briefly glancing down to your lips. You felt your heart skip a beat, but the moment was gone when the music suddenly stopped, but El was quick to restart it before she rushed back to the makeshift dance floor.

Hopper smiled at you before he turned elegantly taking El's hand, switching dance partners as he swayed his body in tune with the slow music. You took a step back and watched in awe, hating how attracted you were to him in this moment.

You knew it was wrong. Hopper was your friend, and above all else, he was your boss, and you couldn't be having those sorts of feelings about him.

An hour later, you found yourself leaning against the hood of the Chevy as you looked out at the Middle School gym. The cool still night air was chilling, but Hopper had draped his work jacket over your shoulders as he stood beside you.

El had gone inside a few minutes ago her body bouncing with nerves and excitement. Hopper was worried, but seemed happy that El was happy.

"Hey guys." Bob's voice suddenly called out.

You looked to your left to find him and Joyce walking across the parking lot hand in hand.

"Thought we might find you out here." Hopper responded.

Joyce smiled, "Will wanted me to give him some space, so... I'm giving him a few feet."

Yeah, that was fair. If you had kids and they were involved in everything that happened with the Upside Down, you probably wouldn't be taking your eyes off them if you were being honest.

"Y/N, I can't thank you enough for what you did that night-" Joyce began to say, but you cut her off.

"You don't need to thank me. It's my job. Serve and protect, right? I think that applies for monsters from alternate dimensions too."

Joyce and Bob both chuckled softly but smiled gratefully at you. Nobody said anything for a few minutes, the four of you drifting into comfortable silence as you watched the kids through the glass doors of the gym.

"Well, I should probably get going. It was nice to see you again, Jim and Y/N." Bob said, nodding at you both.

"I'll walk you to your car." Joyce said, waving goodbye to you and Hopper before they walked off, leaving you and Hopper alone by his car listening to the music from the gym.

"What do you say?" Hopper suddenly asked, pulling out a flask from his pocket once Joyce and Bob were gone. "I'm pretty sure our old Superintendent isn't here to bust us this time, so we might be okay."

You snorted softly, thinking back to that night shift when it was just the two of you in the station trying to get on top of all the paperwork. Hopper thought whiskey would help make writing reports less boring, but the Superintendent wasn't too happy about that.

"I'm blaming you if he shows up." You joked, taking the flask.

Hopper chuckled, "nah, you wouldn't. You could've blamed me last time, but you didn't."

"Mmm. I should've. We got put on nightshift for the whole month as punishment."

He laughed as you took a sip from the flask and savoured the burn of whatever rum Hopper had chosen before you handed it back to him.

"How are you holding up?" He asked, his voice now turning serious as he looked over at you.

You shrugged, "you know. Monsters are real, kinda hard to not think about it."

"Yeah." He nodded, lighting a cigarette and taking in a deep drag. "I wanna tell you that it gets easier, but it doesn't. I'm always on alert now, just waiting for them to come back."

You sighed, grabbing the flask and taking another drink before you leant your head on his shoulder. Hopper's body tensed at the touch, and you were about to pull away and apologise, but then his arm wrapped around your back, and pulled you closer.

The two of you leant against the car together and passed the flask back and forwards while the kids danced inside. And in that moment, you weren’t worried about the Upside Down. You weren’t worried about Hank. You were safe. You were safe in Hoppers arms. You had always been safe with Hopper.

Next Chapter

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#jim hopper #jim hopper x y/n #jim hopper x reader #jim hopper fanfic #jim hopper imagine #chief hopper #david harbour #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #pov

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ambrossart · 2 months

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I have trouble understanding how bullying works in Paper Man. Are the Bowers gang really a bunch of bullies or is that just their reputation?

Vic clearly doesn't like to fight, although he does when he has to, he clearly seems annoyed with all the trouble the gang brings him.

Belch the same, he seems nice and doesn't seem to fight when it's not necessary, he uses his reputation and his scary/imposing build to get people to leave him alone or get what he wants (like the burgers lol), but he doesn't seem like the type to bully (maybe I'm biased by my vision of the character).

Patricio is just carrying around his reputation as a weird guy who kills animals, so he's enjoying it, but is he actively a bully?

For Henry it is another story. We saw it the day he returned, he was ready to attack a freshman because he was dressed differently (Evelyn's legs saved the poor kid that day)

I really love your story, I jump on all the chapters as soon as they come out on Ao3, thank you for your work.

Are they bullies? I guess that depends on who you ask 😂

I think most students, especially the upperclassmen, view them as a nuisance, nothing more. Henry and his friends don't run the school. They're not popular. They have little influence over the greater student body. They're just... there, basically.

For example: Liz Mueller, a senior and the most popular girl in school, didn't even know who Henry Bowers was until she thought about it for a while, and even then he was reduced to: "The kid who always looks like he's gonna stab somebody?" Henry's not even on her radar. That's how insignificant he is.

See, Henry and his gang mostly target the underclassmen and the less popular upperclassmen (like Paul and Lenny, the geeks and the nerds). To these kids, they absolutely are bullies and they make high school really annoying, especially Henry Bowers. When he's in school, all the vulnerable students need to be on high alert. They need to watch what they say, what they do, because anything—anything—can set off Henry's temper. He's been compared to a landmine and I think that's pretty accurate. One wrong move and kiss your ass goodbye, right?

But do students spend their lives cowering in fear of him? No, because they're used to it now. This is their reality. Henry's not going anywhere. Nobody's gonna stand up to him and stop him. So all they can do is adapt and try to survive high school as best as they can. Some have even developed a sense of humor about it. They place bets against each other. They have streak records. It's almost like a game.

Now to answer your question more thoroughly, Paper Men takes place in the 1988-89 school year. The boys are a lot older now (15-17, with Patrick being the oldest), so they're starting to outgrow that schoolyard bully phase of their lives. They're less interested in bullying little kids and more interested in going to parties, drinking, dating, etc. I'll speak about each member specifically below:

— We see this the most with Belch. He's the one who seems to be trying the hardest to move on to the next stage of his life. Right now, he's working really hard to better himself. He's got a job. He has a girlfriend. He's doing everything he can to support his mom. Out of everyone, he's the most sociable (at least with his classmates), but he still slips into old habits occasionally, which is why we often see him stealing students' lunches (sorry, Donny). Basically, if he's not with Henry, Belch is an okay guy—not a saint, but not terrible—and he's very polite to all the girls. His mother would never forgive him if he wasn't.

So, yes, Belch has no interest in being a bully, at least not anymore. It's his loyalty to Henry that keeps him in the gang. Belch feels responsible for him.

— With Vic, I agree that his heart has never been in it. Bullying takes too much energy and he's tired enough as it is. Vic absolutely hates school. It's annoying and exhausting for him. He just wants to get through the day and go home. So is he violent? Not really (although he did punch Lenny Arkins in the kidney once, hard enough to make him piss blood), but he's still far from friendly. Vic is very moody and withdrawn, and he has a razor-sharp tongue. I wouldn't be surprised if some curious girls have learned that the hard way. He still has a lot of secret admirers, though. Next to Patrick, I could see him being the most popular among girls. Just saying.

Anyway, Vic had his reasons for joining the Bowers gang, sure, but we can definitely see his patience wearing thin. He has expressed this several times throughout the story. I think hanging out with Henry used to be fun for him (he speaks fondly about their past in Ch. 12, for example); perhaps it was even a little therapeutic; but now he's feeling incredibly empty and lost. Vic's deeply dissatisfied with how his life has turned out, but he doesn't really know how to change that. He's just... stuck.

— With Patrick, I wouldn't consider him a bully, and he was never really, truly, part of Henry's group either. Yeah, he hangs out with them occasionally, when they're doing something interesting, but never for very long. He just sorta comes and goes as he pleases. He also hangs out with Martin Davers and his group.

Patrick had a nasty reputation because of what he did when he was younger, but now he's mostly known for his flirtatious/lecherous behavior. Patrick prefers it that way. Very much. Right now he's trying really hard to stay under the radar. So unless Henry is doing something deliciously violent (which Patrick would never be able to resist), Patrick prefers to quietly pursue his other hobbies. Bullying little kids doesn't interest him. He has better things to do.

— Lastly with Henry, I think we all know where he stands. He's a bully through and through. He likes to pick on people smaller and weaker than him because it makes him feel powerful. It gives him control. While everyone else is growing up and moving on with their lives, Henry seems to be getting worse. It's getting harder and harder for him to control his anger. Bullying kids isn't enough anymore. Hitting people isn't enough anymore. And I think everyone knows it's only a matter of time before he snaps.

tldr; yes they're technically bullies, especially to the underclassmen, but most of them have started to outgrow this behavior.

#answered asks #thanks for the ask!#bowers gang #henry bowers #patrick hockstetter #belch huggins #victor criss #it stephen king #it 2017 #it fanfiction #paper men #ambrossart

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turtlecleric · 3 months

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assumption - others have said in need of a hug (yes true) but also,

may not have been praised in the way that you deserved growing up and instead others tried to dim your light because they were envious or wanted to see you fail (->im here to tell you they suck ass. you're everything and more; skilled; determined; worthy; and i love you so so much and i am so so proud of you)

Did you know that I would die for you? Did you know that I love you so goddamn much? Did you?

This is way too much personal info that no one actually cares to know, probably, but. I'm sort of avoiding work on purpose at the moment and I'm having a really rough day. Who needs therapy when you have asks on Tumblr to rant in? (I'm joking, to be clear. Actual therapy is so valuable and important if you manage to find a competent professional who clicks well with you. The only reason I stopped going is because of Covid, time, and money.)

Warning: VERY long vent ahead, please do not feel obligated to read or respond

My dad was really good about praising me in ways that felt genuine, actually, though that made the times he /was/ upset with me all that much worse. My dad isn't perfect, and he's done some things and said some things that I'll never forgive, that I'll never be able to forget, but I would also do anything for him. I know he's there for me when I need it, I know he'll answer when I call, I know that he actually cares about me. He and maybe like two cousins are the only family I would never be able to cut off.

My mom... I guess it was just sort of the baseline bare minimum expectation that I would do things well, so when I /was/ praised it was just like... oh, good job sweetie! Proud of you! But it didn't feel... I don't know how to describe why but... I don't know. Now, when people tell me I do things well I always have that voice in my head that's like "they're just being nice, they don't actually think it's all that great, they expected you to do a much better job than this, actually, why did you even bother sharing? Why did you think this was something to be proud of?" I read way too far into things, interpreting neutral reactions, or even positive reactions that aren't as enthusiastic as I might have hoped for, as proof that people are simply being nice and don't really like what I do or make or say all that much. I always get stuck in this mindset that I'm not allowed to create mediocre content, like it all has to be Excellent or else it's Terrible.

I also remember in high school, posting some drawings on Facebook that I was really proud of. Two drawings, one with hands in chains and cut up and the other with healed hands glowing with holy light and cradling a cross. It was supposed to show the difference between life without God and life with God (I was... VERY religious as a teenager. I am now agnostic.), but she saw the first picture and freaked out, super pissed, yelling at me to take it down, to not embarrass her like that, because people were going to see that and think I was abused or depressed or something (haha... me? Depressed? Nahhhhh). And that was the moment when I knew I could never ever ever share anything even remotely dark with her, that if I ever were to express something that indicated I was anything other than good and happy and perfect then she would react similarly. She's also very judgemental regarding mental health, often made comments about how "people who are/do x are sick, there's just something wrong with them, make sure you stay away from people like that" while I'm sitting on the couch like... oof. That's me. So all my venting went to Tumblr where she couldn't see, and even now I mostly only vent on Tumblr and through writing. I have many wonderful friends that would gladly allow me to vent to them (I love you all so much I love you I love you I love you, thank you for being so kind), but I simply Cannot. I've had a friend before where it felt like all they did was complain, they were always so goddamn negative, and it became a chore to talk to them. I started to get angry every time they said or did something defeatist, I stopped enjoying talking or hanging out with them, and I refuse to be that person. Even if I'm told over and over that I don't come across that way, I'm so terrified of it that when I think about reaching out I start to think of that friend and about how I shouldn't bother people and I panic. Unless I've gotten to the point where I truly believe that nothing I do or say will ruin the friendship, then it's really hard to push through that fear. But that's so much harder than it used to be because I /did/ lose a friend that I thought I would have literally for the rest of my life, I was so 100% confident that we would be 80 years old still hanging out with each other and goofing around, so sure we could go through anything together and stay friends, I knew in my heart and soul that we would be friends until we died, and I was wrong. I was wrong. I also had a different friend who was always there for me, always praised me, always listened to me when I needed it and told me kind things and made sure I felt welcome and loved and viewed positively, and then he fucking assaulted me one night when he thought I was asleep.

Anyway. When I /did/ fail at things growing up, it was either punished more severely than necessary or straight up laughed at. Mom was very hot and cold, too, you could never tell what kind of mood she was going to be in that day. (She is still like this. It's well known in my family that you never know which version of her you're going to get.) Things are fine one moment and then suddenly I'm in trouble for something I didn't even realize I did wrong (like with the drawings), so I'm just. Terrified of not doing well enough at things, of disappointing people, of people being annoyed with me or upset with me over something I didn't even realize was rude or mean or wrong to begin with.

"Don't overstay your welcome; don't bother people" was pounded into my head. I can't express how often I start to say or type something and then think, "No one cares. Stop bothering people. You're being too much, you're being annoying, they're tired of you, just keep it to yourself." I'm working on it but. Yeah. Half the time I still just stop talking or backspace and stay quiet. Even typing this, I'm like... you should delete this. You're basically just begging for attention, and if anyone says anything about this to you then it'll only be because they felt obligated to and they're going to start seeing you as a whiny, pathetic, manipulative person, and they're going to get tired of you and roll their eyes every time you say anything, even if it's not you venting, or they'll see this and think about how stupid or weird it is for you to put this information out on the internet, and even this sentence right here is proof that they'd be right because you're aware of all these thoughts and you're still doing it.

But then another part of me thinks that if I can't even vent on my own blog on a post that literally no one is required to read that is also hidden under a readmore and clearly states that it's a vent post, then where /can/ I vent? And if someone else posted this, would I be this harsh on them? And what's so wrong with seeking attention and comfort? Why is that unforgivable in yourself but admirable in others? Why are you crying at work? Why aren't you doing your job? Why aren't you better? Why aren't you better?

#asks #I'll delete this later probably #fuck #anyway! back to work!#i have so much to do and not enough time to do it so. I'll be working late today. again.

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livelovesimallways · 1 year

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"Prayed Up....." 🎵

(Previous)

(Previous following Dana's story)

Moses and I finally arrived home a couple of days ago after an amazing honeymoon. We spent nearly three months traveling, relaxing and enjoying the best parts of what make us...us. After taking some time for ourselves, letting our friends and family know we were back became top priority. While I reached out on my end, Moses was reluctant to do the same. He says he wants to, "protect his peace", which leads me to believe something serious is going on. Although I fully understand where he is coming from, avoiding things never helps. I just hope that, "protecting his peace", doesn't make a situation worse or leave people in the dark.

Later on that day.....

"So hold on...Let me get this straight...Sean was messing around with that Julia chick outside of Dana's rules? Deanna found out and told her?"

"Basically..."

"Damn...I wonder why she didn't tell me? It seemed like everything was going well. She even sent me their finished wedding plan." *sounding confused*

"Maybe it is for her. She probably feels like what's done is done. Shit, my moms used to get like that whenever my father got caught."

"Humph...I remember having those days myself. You're probably right. Now I feel terrible. Dana isn't the type to come crying about her problems either. She'll tell you, but won't get emotional about it. She keeps a lot bottled up."

"Yeah she's a good ass person too. She don't deserve that shit." *looks down then shakes his head*

"So was this why you were avoiding calls?"

"I mean it's part of it. Sean's been like my brother since high school, but him still doing dumb shit just ain't sittin right with me. I thought he was makin progress but, that ain't the case. I don't know if I want to be around all that. Too much potential to have me in some shit."

"In some shit like?...."

"Being put on the spot to cover, or getting questioned over something he did."

"But that only happened once right?" *narrows her eyes*

"You really want me to answer that? Shit, we both know not to ask questions we really don't want the answers to. You're gonna feel obligated to tell her and neither one of us is trying to stir up past things. She knows what kind of dude she has. Obviously we want better for her, but she's sticking beside him. There's no need to dig."

*sighs* "Fine...I'll leave it alone. What's done in the dark always comes to light anyway, so..." *her phone starts ringing, cutting her off* "Oh look, it's Nica, another person you've been avoiding. I'll put it on speaker."

A Few Days Later.......

"I'm just not understanding why you won't tell your sister you're pregnant? Like, I know it's not ideal, but you're in a good place. You're starting your career at that tech giant and you can stay here as long as you want. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Trust me, I've seen worse. The train wreck that is my father is a great example, and he's a multi-millionaire. You have a village: your sister, me and my family. You just have to embrace it. "

"Look...Mimi I get you're trying to help, but please leave it alone. That's not why..." *get choked up*

"Then what is it? I'm here for you, seriously..."

*whispers* "Fuck...."

"Damn...Umm...I didn't mean to upset you. You don't have to..."

"No, I do. Just please don't judge until you hear everything. The reason why I'm scared to tell her is because it's Sean's baby..." *tells her their entire history*

"Whew...That's a lot." *pauses for a few seconds* "Sleeping with your sister's man is foul as fuck, Dee. I get the whole college and first love thing before they met, but she's the one with him now...Has been for the past what, six years? And now a baby? You have to tell her before she marries this man."

"I know...I will..."

"This is crazy but, as much as I want to rant, I feel bad for you. He's manipulated this entire situation since you were eighteen. He was twenty-four and he knew to take advantage of your naivety. Now he says he loves you? He's full of shit and is using that as a way to keep you quiet and around." *pauses in thought* "Shit!..."

"What's wrong?"

"Remember a few days ago you were throwing up a lot?"

"Yeah?..."

"Well, I got scared and called Nica for advice. She had a rough first trimester so I figured she could help. I told her it was for you."

"Do you think she told anyone?" *extra concerned*

"I mean, it's possible, but that was a few days ago. I feel like if your sister knew she would've been knocking on the door. I'm gonna call Nica and check. But regardless, Dana's gonna find out sooner or later. You can't hide a baby bump and Sean's family has some strong genes. When the baby comes out looking like him..."

"Girl!...I get it. Can you please just call your sister for me? I'll figure it out from there."

To Be Continued......

#black sims #black simblr #sims story #teeleah #moses #deanna #mimi #IYLIML #the weekend

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scrawlingmouse · 7 months

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so, nanowrimo

Writers who are both more eloquent and more established than I have talked at length about it, it's ups and downs, etc., but I figured Hey! I've got a writing blog now and Opinions on Nano! Might as well talk about it, right?

So, for starters, I did Nano about 10 years ago back in high school, and I'm considering doing it again this year. Sorta. We'll get back to that. When I did it the first year in high school it was fun! I did it with a friend, and I didn't "win" but I did get a lot more words down than I was used to! But of course I had school and then college to focus on, so eventually that 2/3rds of a novel draft just kinda withered away while I did nothing with it. Flash forward to the next year and I decide Hey! I should do this again! And I did, and I got maybe 2 days in before I crashed and burned. Flash forward to the next year, and it happens again. And again, and again, until eventually I swore off nano and decided it was Absolutely Terrible for Writers Forever.

So, what changed? Uh, nothing, really. I still don't think nano is a good thing for young writers who haven't learned what the writing cycle actually feels like, or even looks like.

(As a disclaimer: if you are a writer and feel like the structure and deadline works for you to help you pump out a draft, hell yeah! Good for you! Legitimately good for you, no sarcasm! This is not directed at you.)

SO THE WRITING STRUCTURE. WHAT IS IT? It's drafts. It's so many drafts, especially for longer works. It's drafts upon drafts as you figure out how you actually want your story to work. It's writing a whole novel and letting it sit and returning to it and rewriting the entire thing, and then realizing that rewrite was just a second draft, maybe even a 4th draft as you reconfigure what a "draft" actually even looks like. And then, once you have a draft you're satisfied with, it's edits. And then it's several phases of edits before you're satisfied again. And then, depending on what route you're going in terms of publishing, it's potentially even more drafts and editing and drafts of editing as you work to get your story out and-

It's a lot of work, okay? Not that anyone ever said it wasn't, but I feel like we need to be honest with ourselves in that writing is a lot of work. Cranking out 50k words in a month is a draft. A very hasty, very slapdash draft. When I tried doing this in college, I didn't quite realize it, wrapped up in all the hype of writing a novel in a month, and so kept getting frustrated when my words werent perfect. Never mind that I'd never actually finished a draft before, didn't even really know what a draft looked like.

So, why am I trying again? Great question! I'm not! Sorta. I'm not holding myself to the word count (I'm mostly writing short stories and novellas these days anyways), I'm not tying to write a finished product, and if I don't reach my goal this month I'm not going to stop. Because that's what happens a nontrivial amount: dec 1 rolls around and people stop writing without the structure/deadline to keep going, and so all the work they put in to keep up a writing habit goes down the drain. Anyways, my goal this year for this month of nanowrimo is just to stress test my own drafting abilities: how much of a draft for my next Xal novella can I get done in a month? That's it. That's my entire goal, just to see what happens. If I make it? Sweet! Onto the next phase! If I don't? Sweet! Most of a draft is better than no draft! Onto the next phase!

Draft writing is just one spoke in a wheel, and you gotta keep it turning onto the next thing.

So, what's the end to all this? Should you never participate in nano? Should you denounce it to the heavens??? Man how would I know I'm just a mouse. These are questions you gotta ask yourself and sit with the answers. I think you should tailor nano to fit with you and how you write, but you're the only one who can accurately answer just what that means for you. If it means cranking out the whole 50k, good for you! If it means just trying to write once a day, perfect! Hell yeah get that habit forming! If it's some other kind of benchmark that works for you, good!

Just keep going after. That's all I ask, don't let someone else's arbitrary goals keep you from writing.

I love you go do good work I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!

Also hey if you read this far mind checking out my patreon or buying me a ko-fi? I've got discount commissions on my Patreon as well as access to all my backlog of one-shots forever, and I've got a $1+ donation doodle option on my ko-fi! Your support keeps me writing c: thanks!

#Squeaking #Writeblr #Nanowrimo #I HAVE OPINIONS AND I MUST SQUEAK tho those opinions are generally 'man just do what works for you'#'dont let someone else dictate how your writing method works and that includes ME'#Anyway keep writing friends I believe in you

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aroaceconfessions · 1 year

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in a woman in my early 20s and i grew up with baby boomer catholic parents and though they aren't as catholic as many other catholics, i still got 0 sex ed and remember asking about periods and not even getting an answer so just being super confused all around. i learned a little in school and it wasn't as bad as it could have been but it was a lot of confusing info at once. until 5th grade, i thought the word sex was a swear because i said it once (not knowing what it was or meant) and my older sister told me not to say it again. i also couldn't believe that private parts were actually for something other than just being there for relieving yourself

to get to my main point: i wish i had known about purity culture and how harmful it is at a much younger age than i learned about it. i remember watching late 90s and early 00s american teen tv shows and the way they often approached sex made me feel so terrible and ashamed to be a young woman and to be an asexual young woman who didn't know there was a term for my experience and this just added to the feeling that something was wrong with me and shame

watching one of these shows was really the first time i had seen sex depicted in any was because my family had shielded me from it until then. if we ever watched something together they would always tell me to look away while they fast forwarded the suggestive scene or whatever. so when i finally saw this very brief tv-14 depiction, it was just so much at once that i closed my computer and started crying. up until 3 years ago, i always skipped sex scenes in things. now it can depend

i don't know if it is but i know that my family infantilizes me for the conditions and disorders i have so maybe this was also some infantilization as well, i'm not sure. i'm the youngest of three sisters so everyone is overprotective of me and it's really damaging

i don't know if anyone remembers but I'm the anon who months ago was talking about this pattern i noticed in these shows where there'd always be a scene where her parental figure looks at her with a puzzled expression, she asks "what?" and the parent says something like "I don't know, you just look...different" after she's had sex for the first time

in contrast to this I want to briefly mention and recommend the show "my so-called life" a show that had the first openly gay actor to play an openly gay teen on primetime tv and covers really important themes and holds up well and is worth watching. there's an episode about the main girl feeling pressured to have sex and she's talking to her friend about it and her friend has had sex and she isn't painted in a bad light for it and the main girl asks her friend if she felt different afterwards and she says "afterward, I looked in the mirror to see if I looked different...do you think i do?" and the main girl said "no." this was 1994, years before the shows I'm thinking of. i wish i had watched this before the other shows

i just think about this a lot. i rewatch some of these late 90s early 00s shows from time to time for nostalgia and comfort and i look at them through a different eye now thank goodness and i'm able to notice just how much they tend to subtly demonize femininity and stuff that went over my head when i was younger. i didn't even know much about misogyny until a couple years ago and after high school—which makes me very upset that no one really talked about it in any way and i had to find out on my own over time. it makes me really sad to think about how much this stuff must have damaged other people watching when they were young and i worry about younger people who might be watching these shows now and maybe feeling similarly to the way i did

#asexual #ace #aspec #acespec #afab #purity culture #misogyny #infantilization #sex negative #sex negativity #religion #catholic #catholicism #christian #christianity

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seradae · 3 months

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The following is an extremely rambling personal post

I came out as a trans woman when I was 32. Before then, I had identified as genderfluid for ages, but it was more how I felt than the way I presented. To virtually everyone, I was a man, and I was okay with that. Sort of.

While I had known GNC and trans folks growing up, it wasn't something I knew much about, and I certainly didn't consider it as an option. Even if I had spent a decade online "pretending" to be a woman and playing one in every game I could. Hell, I even had a name picked out (Erica), but it was fantasy... Right?

I first seriously considered transitioning when I was 18. At the time, I was friends with a whole bunch of furries, all of whom were queer and many of whom were trans (and all the ones I still keep up with have since come out as some flavor of trans). They were able to answer my questions, and ask me the right ones to make me realize that no, not everyone feels the way I do. Not everyone wishes with every fiber of their being that they had been AFAB. Not everyone thinks about whether they're worthy of feeling right in their body.

I spent so much time thinking about it, and frankly I knew it was what I wanted, but I also thought I knew why it was impossible. Why it was a terrible idea. Not because I wasn't a woman, but for two very specific reasons.

Reason #1: My business partner at the time (I was doing the tech startup thing) and closest friend was a massive transphobe. Unashamedly so. His influence left me with a ton of internalized transphobia, and I knew that it would be the end of that relationship. When I came out on Facebook 14 years later, I blocked him that day so I wouldn't have to see the vitriol.

Reason #2: I thought I would be an ugly woman. Or worse, that I'd look like an ugly man trying to look like a woman. In retrospect, this was a dumb reason, and seeing a post to the effect of "if the thing holding you back from transitioning is that you think you'd be an ugly woman, you're already a woman" was actually a huge part of what spurred me to finally do it. I never liked my face, never liked my skin, never liked my body. Untangling the body dysmorphia from gender dysphoria is still an ongoing process for me, but I feel better about my body now than I ever have before.

So, I'm 32 and I'm a baby trans woman. I don't know shit, but I have an incredibly supportive wife to help me explore myself and learn who I am. I have all these wonderful resources, and things are going well. But I am absolutely full of regret that I can't shake.

Every day, I oscillate between two states: wishing I had transitioned earlier, and knowing that I wouldn't have the life I have now if I had. I knew I couldn't rewind time and change things, but I still felt guilty. I have a wife and kid that I love and wouldn't trade for anything, but I kept thinking about the opportunities I missed.

I thought often about what it could've been like to experience my first makeup (aside from some simple gothy eyeliner and black nail polish) as a teen. Sleepovers with girl friends. Shopping for clothes that would've made me feel comfortable and happy.

I'm sure I would've faced hell, but I already was. I was a depressed kid, bullied throughout my school years, the first out and proud bisexual in a rural high school, fat, and awkward as fuck. But I could've hated myself less, or at least differently.

But a few years in, I don't feel these same regrets anymore. I might not be a teenager, but it doesn't make those firsts any less special. I get to experience them with my loving wife. I get to experience them with money, which is a far cry from my childhood. I get to experience them with the knowledge of how far I've come, and that I fucking made it.

I didn't think I would make it to 18. I didn't think I would make it to 21. I knew I wouldn't make it to 25, for sure. And now I'm closer to 50 than I am 21, even if I've got a ways to go. While I can't see the future, I can say that if I don't make it there, it won't be at my own hand. That's not something I would've been able to say before.

I still think about the "what if"s. It's impossible not to. But I don't regret my transition timeline anymore. I am living my damn life and I'm living it well. It's a good time to be me. Every day is; even the hard ones.

#stfu sera

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seungssky · 2 years

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chapter 18: as long as you're happy

as i got off of the couch to go and open the door, my legs felt weak. i didn't really know what minho wanted to talk about, but he did get mad at me earlier, so he probably just wanted to apologize.

oh did i think wrong.

i open the door to see minho, hands in his pockets as he lightly smiles at my presence. "hi, do you mind if i come in?" he asks me. "of course," i moved out of the way to let him in and closed the door behind him. i sat down on the couch as he did the same. he sighed deeply before speaking again.

"i came here to talk to you because of something that has been eating me up for the past few days. it might be weird to say and tell you but i hope you understand me." he starts, playing with the skin around his fingers, indicating that he was nervous.

he continues again but shifting in his seat more than he normally would. "i'll just put it plain and simple. the real reason i was upset about you and seungmin was because..." he paused and looked down at his hands. i stared at him with doe eyes, waiting for him to continue, but he couldn't get any words out of his mouth.

"for the past few years, you probably noticed how upset i get when you're with other people that's not me, felix, or jeongin, specifically guys. i was mostly upset because i didn't want to be replaced. but there's actually another reason." he said that last sentence quietly while playing with his fingers again.

minho finally looked up from the ground and into my own eyes. "i love you y/n. i know you don't feel the same way, but i needed to tell you. all these years i couldn't handle not telling you and keeping my feelings locked away. it hurt so much not to say anything, but i did that in order to not ruin our friendship. i'm sorry." he looked like he was on the verge of tears at this point. i kept staring at him dumbfounded before he spoke up again.

"i started to have feelings for you in high school. i thought i made it obvious to be honest, with me being the stupid teenager i was back then. then when i found out we were going to the same college, i thought i would have a chance with you. but then you dated soobin, and as much as i was hurt, i didn't want to say anything in fear that i would ruin our friendship." i listened to him closely without saying a word. i couldn't tell if i was too shocked to say anything or if i just wanted him to finish his rant.

"i'm so sorry. you probably think i'm fucking weird now. i wanted to tell you because i thought it would be worse if i hid how i felt, and i didn't want to lose you. i was so scared. i'm so so-" his sentence was cut off, due to me hugging him, which obviously caught him by surprise.

i pulled away and looked at him with a smile. i genuinely didn't know what to say, i felt like i was trapped between two people i truly care about. "i already know your answer, y/n. it's okay." minho said, holding back tears with his life. i've never seen minho this emotional, and i felt terrible. "i'm sorry minho."

"please don't be sorry. it's your love life, and it's your life overall. i just want you to be happy, even when the person who's making you happy isn't me."

i felt like i was at a loss for words. i felt so bad, but i didn't know how to continue the conversation. all i could do was apologize. he spoke up again, "i hope this doesn't ruin anything between us, y/n. you're my best friend and if i lost you, than i wouldn't know how to live with myself."

"i'm glad i told you, y/n. i don't know how much longer i could go with living like that." he chuckled as he looked at me again. i looked back into his eyes and gave him an apologetic smile. "i'm so glad you're my best friend. i wouldn't trade the world for you," minho says with the brightest smile on his face, the smile that i only see when he sees his cats. "i love you so much minho, you're the bestest friend i could ever ask for" i say to him as i hug his waist, my head on his shoulder. minho wraps his arms around me before speaking again. "i love you too, y/n. i'm so happy. and i'm so happy that you're happy."

previous chapter • masterlist • next chapter

taglist: @sweetrabbit @youmake1mistake @hyunniecrush

summary: late at night, kim seungmin finds a girl standing in the pouring rain, and offers her his small umbrella. after she gets home, seungmin never caught her name, or much of what she looks like. chaos strikes when the two college students attempt to find each other's identities.

a/n: the amount of fluff you guys will see after this chapter will be TOOTH ROTTING <3 i apologize for these angsty chapters </3 minho is a great guy i love him sm.

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middleearthpixie · 1 year

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Seven Days ~ Chapter Twenty-One

Seven Days - Modern Tolkien AU

Firefighter Frerin Durin died in a fire set deliberately. But after he helps his brother, Thorin find happiness, Frerin is offered a second chance. He has to prove himself worthy by righting the one major wrong in his life. Otherwise, history will repeat and he will die for good this time. The catch? He has seven days in which to do this and isn’t even certain what his major wrong is.

At least, he doesn’t know for long.

Syd Prescott has known Frerin since high school. She spent one night with him and then he vanished from her life. Now, he claims he wants to make it up to her, to right was he realizes was his major wrong. But can she trust him? And can he prove to her that she can before it’s too late?

A/N - This story is the sequel to Miss Fortune, but is a stand alone story.

Summary: Frerin brings Syd home to meet his parents, and later drops another bomb on her…

Pairing: Modern!Frerin x OFC Syd Prescott

Characters: Frerin, Syd, Alanis Durin

Warnings: None

Rating: T

Word Count: 3,397

Tag List: @tschrist1 @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @linasofia @fizzyxcustard @legolasbadass @kibleedibleedoo @xxbyimm @arrthurpendragon @exhausted-humxn-being @rachel1959 @laurfilijames @sketch-and-write-lover @sherala007 @enchantzz @knittastically @notlostgnome @myselfandfantasy @medusas-hairband @guardianofrivendell @jotink78 @frosticenow @quiall321 @dianakc @msjava1972

If you’d like to be added (or removed) to the tag list, please just let me know!

Previous chapters can be found here.

Syd practically had to sit on her hands to keep from chewing her nails as Frerin turned on to West Maple Street, and then angled the Jeep into the short driveway of a tall, dark gray house with deep blue shutters and parked behind a black BMW X5. She didn't know why she was so damn nervous, except that she knew his family was important to him and she wanted them to like her.

“Syd, you look like you’re going to your own execution,” he remarked, tugging the keys from the ignition. “Don’t worry. They aren’t going to attack you. Well,” he paused, “my mom might, if she thinks you’re the one who’ll make me settle down. But, it’ll be a nice attack. She’ll love you forever. Trust me.”

“Frerin.”

“What? She’s been after me for a while to meet a nice girl and settle down. The only trouble I can see happening is when I tell her I have that nice girl, only she hasn’t given me an answer yet.”

She sighed softly. “Were you really asking me? Because, you died, so I’m not sure you were serious…”

“Oh, that’s harsh, Syd.”

“I’m serious.”

“Me, too.” He winked then and the urge to smack him surged through her as he grinned. “Just be glad she doesn’t know this nice girl was riding me like a thoroughbred just a few hours ago. Or that I can’t wait to get home and put my face between her legs.”

“Frerin!”

This time, she did smack him, which made him laugh as he shoved open his door. “What? I can’t. I’ve got plans for you tonight, honey.”

“You’re terrible.” She climbed out and glared at him across the Jeep’s hood even as a delicious chill rippled through her at the thought of what kind of plans he might have in mind.

“I’m in love,” he said with a shrug. “And that’s never happened before, so I have to admit, I don't even know what I’m doing right now.”

“You’re about to get punched again, that’s what you’re doing.”

He came around to catch her about the waist and lifted her easily. “You gonna marry me or not, Syd?”

“Are you really asking me or not?”

He set her back down and then smiled as he drew her into his arms. “Yeah, Syd. I’m really asking you. Will you marry me?”

As he spoke, his arms tightened about her and his eyes grew more serious than she’d ever seen. His smile faded as he added, “I know it’s real sudden, but you and I both know this is right, honey. I love you. It literally took me dying to figure that out, but I did, and I just want to be with you.”

“Frerin,” she tucked a loose wave behind her left ear, “that’s such a big step, and—”

“It’s because of last summer, isn’t it?”

She sighed softly. “No, it’s not. It’s… I’m afraid of rushing into it, is all. Seven days, Frerin. We’ve been together all of seven days.”

“I know, and I know it’s sudden, like I said. But it feels right to me. Look,” his fingers brushed along her backside lightly, “until now, I didn't want any of it. Wife. Kids. Responsibility. I had Riley and that was enough. But, it’s not enough any more.”

“And in the span of seven days, you want a wife, kids, and responsibility?”

“I want you. And eventually, yeah. I want those things. Not tomorrow, but in the future.”

Her stomach fluttered softly at the seriousness in his voice, in his eyes. “You have me.”

“Syd, I was dead, okay? I spent six months thinking I would give anything to be back here, to be with my family, my dog—”

“Lisa.” She finished, those flutters quelling. “When you died, you weren’t with me, remember?”

“You didn't let me finish,” he admonished her quietly, shaking his head. “I knew she wasn't the one. I told you, she was eyeing up Thorin anyway. She didn't want me, either. I was a placeholder for her and knew it, even if I didn't want to admit it to myself. I was in his shadow again, and it sucks being there.”

“Frerin, you didn't know I was alive.”

“That is not true. I did know. And that night we spent together was one of the best nights of my life, Syd, and I don't mean just the sex, which was great, don't get me wrong. But, do you remember how we just talked? Like until the sun came up. And about everything. Anything and everything.”

She smiled, draping her arms about his neck. “I remember. We talked about music and how Springsteen is a god amongst men and how the Rolling Stones are far better than the Who, although I’m not entirely sure I agree there.”

He smiled back, his eyes softening. “And we talked about how all politicians suck and Shakespeare might have been right about killing all the lawyers.”

She nodded. “He was definitely right about that. It would be a great place to start.”

“I’ve never done that with a woman I was sleeping with, Syd. Who wants to talk when you can just fuck? But man… I like doing both with you. I want to spend the rest of my life doing both with you, honey. Lying there, in the dark, in a tangle of sheets, after having the best orgasm of my life, after hopefully giving you the best orgasm of your life, with you in my arms talking about what Springsteen meant when he wrote My City of Ruins or what Eddie Vedder is saying in Yellow Ledbetter. I want to talk politics or world events or just how crappy our days have been. I almost missed on all of that. But, I’m getting another chance to grow old, Syd. And I want to do that with you. I want to do all of that with you. I want to have kids with you. I want to… I don't know… builda life with you.”

Her eyes stung at the intensity behind his words, the emotion in his voice. “Frerin…”

“I know, it sounds corny as fuck, but I do. I love you. And if you want to wait, I’ll wait, but I’m not going to stop asking you. Just know that. I won’t. I’ll be such a pain in the ass about it, you won’t believe it, but I’ll wait for you. I’m yours, Syd. Since I was fourteen years old and that’s not changing any time soon.”

He bent to her, his lips brushing hers as he whispered, “I love you,” just before he kissed her.

His kiss came slow and teasing, his lips soft as they moved against hers. She’d never felt such emotion in a kiss before and when he drew back, she whispered, “I love you, too.”

His eyes danced with the devil as he pressed his forehead to hers. “We should go in.”

“Probably. I think your mom is watching out the front window.”

“Probably.”

“Frerin.”

He drew back to catch her by the hand and brought her hand up to his lips. “She’ll love you. She likes your sister. You and Alex have tamed the Durin boys, honey.”

“I don't know I want you tamed, Frerin.”

He grinned. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.” She smiled even as her cheeks grew warm. “I like that air of danger about you.”

“Air of danger?”

“Yeah. You reek of it, Frerin. Danger. Sex. A good time. You promise all of it and you’re, as you like to say, hot as fuck, so there’s that, too.”

He grinned as he squeezed her hand and led her up the curved slate walkway to the front door. “Just wait until we get home, honey.”

Those words, in his velvety purr, were enough to send a shiver through her. And that shiver was enough to calm her nerves as he led her inside. “Ma? You home?”

“Frerin?” A soft voice floated out from around the corner. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, because you never come down here. Especially in winter.” The voice grew louder and a moment later, a tall, elegant woman with pale blue eyes and long, thick silver hair emerged. Those blue eyes were friendly, if a bit puzzled as they fell on her. “Oh, hello, there.”

“Ma, you know Thorin’s girlfriend Alex? This is her sister, Syd. My girlfriend.” He turned to Syd. “Syd, my mother, Alanis Durin.”

Alanis’ eyes went perfectly round as they fell on Syd once more. “Oh, it’s wonderful to meet you, Syd.”

“Hi, Mrs. Durin. It’s nice to meet you, too.”

“Oh, please, Mrs. Durin is my mother-in-law and she is long gone, so please, do call me Alanis.”

“Where’s Pop?”

“He’s at the hardware store. He is determined to get that flagpole holder to stay if it kills him.”

“Ma, it’s like ten degrees outside.”

“Have you ever tried to talk your father out of doing something? Like the cold will stop him.” Alanis rolled her eyes, then smiled and gestured toward the kitchen behind her. “Come in, both of you and sit down and tell me just why you’ve come all this way, Frer.”

The kitchen was open and airy, with granite countertops and white cabinets with glass insets. Track lighting offered up a warm glow, as did the Christmas lights shining from the living room, and the fairy lights strung up about the green garland draped over the tops of the cabinets. Christmas music played softly in the background and as she looked about at the numerous Santa Clauses and other Christmas decorations, Syd reached out to catch Frerin’s hand, and gave it a squeeze. She was glad to see his death wouldn’t cast a pall over the cheer in the house, glad see that he would actually live to see Christmas. She realized how close he’d come to that not being true, and how close she’d come to losing him.

As her fingers tightened about his, she looked up to meet his gaze. His eyes were softly gray-blue and when he squeezed back, she knew it was because he understood.

He winked, then turned back to his mother. “I thought you’d want to meet Syd, and maybe I can avoid the third degree when I show up on Christmas with her. I mean, if you don't mind my bringing her.”

Syd sat up straighter. Christmas was only thirteen days away and she had no idea what to get him. What did one buy for a man who’d come back from the dead?

“Christmas, Frerin?” Alanis smiled. “Of course I don't mind. You’ve never brought a girl home for the holidays. I mean, unless she’d rather spend Christmas with her family.”

Syd looked from Alanis to Frerin, and shook her head. “We do Christmas Eve in my family. Come Christmas Day, by noon, we’re done.”

“Then you are absolutely welcome to join us. I think Thorin is bringing Alex, and Dís said she and the boys will be here.” Alanis moved to the refrigerator. “And you really should’ve offered her something to drink, Frerin.”

“Sorry, Syd. Are you thirsty?”

She chuckled at the sheepish expression on his face. “I’m good, thanks.”

“Has Frerin warned you about his nephews?”

She looked over at him. “Uh… no… what about them?”

“They’re hellions,” Alanis said with a laugh. “Fíli’s is almost eight and Kíli is five and they are hell on wheels, like their uncles were at that age.”

“Really? Hell on wheels, huh?” Syd asked with a grin.

“Oh, did he tell you about the time…”

****

“I like your mom.”

“She’s embarrassing.”

“Her stories about you were cute, though.”

Frerin rolled his eyes. “She didn't need to pull out the baby pictures.”

“She’s probably been waiting forever to show those off. Besides, it’s not like I’ve never seen you naked.”

“Syd, that’s not how any guy wants his girlfriend to see him.”

“You were too cute for words, Frerin, and your ass is still that sweet.”

He groaned, leaning his head back against the headrest. But at the same time, he reached over to catch her hand in his. It was nearly ten at night and he could only hope Riley hadn’t peed all over his house. “My mom likes you.”

“Good. I’d hate to have her hate me.”

“Nah, she doesn’t. Neither does my dad.”

“I liked him, too, but he’s very quiet.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t say much, but when he does… look out.”

She sighed softly, settling back in her seat. “Your family is really nice, Frerin. It reminds me a lot of what mine was like before my parents died. We don't talk about it all that much, but it’s always there, you know? We all do our own thing more than we do any family things now.”

He gave her hand a squeeze. “My dying really killed them as well,” he said softly after a brief silence. “They didn't deal well with it.”

“My gram took my mom and dad’s deaths hard, too. All Gram kept saying was, You aren’t supposed to bury your children.”

“My mom said the same thing to Thorin the morning of my funeral.”

“How did you do it?” She looked over at him. “How could you watch that?”

“Morbid curiosity, really.” He glanced in the rearview mirror, then the sideview one, and moved into the right hand land. “And part of it was vanity. I was curious as to how I was remembered.”

“I bet you had women lined up around the block.”

He let out a soft, embarrassed laugh as he shook his head. “There were a lot of women there, but Syd, I had no idea who most of them were.”

“Everyone knew you, though.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a small town.” He brought her hand up to his lips, the back of it soft against them. “I saw you and your family there.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw her look over at him, open her mouth as if it to say something, then closed it just as quickly and looked back out her window. “What is it?” he asked softly.

“Nothing. It’s… stupid.”

“What is?”

“Well… I mean… can I ask you what it was like?”

“Being dead?”

“Yeah.”

“Honey, you can ask me anything you want. I told you, I don't really remember it happening. I got real tired. I closed my eyes and when I opened then, I was on the other side. It was peaceful. Weird, though. Like, I was me, but not me. You don't really feel much of anything. It’s just serene. You can look back over your life, if you want. You can see what’s going on down here, if you want. And I thought Tori was there to help me adjust, to help me acclimate myself to this whole new… thing. No one really tells you much at first, you know? You just run into people and talk like nothing has changed, and then at the end of the day, we all went our separate ways.”

“That’s it?”

“Pretty much. Although, I told Thorin that the one thing I could recall missing,” he exited Route Seven and took the jug handle to cross over the highway and come onto Main Street, “was being able to touch someone. And I don't mean sexually, I mean just like this.”

As he said this, he gave her hand a squeeze, let his thumb graze along the side of hers. “I missed that. The contact. And you know,” he eased to a stop at red light and looked over at her, “sex before I died was pretty amazing, but now that I’m back? It’s incredible.”

She met his gaze. “There’ve been a lot of women, haven’t there?”

“Before I died? Not a lot, but there’s been enough, I guess.” He nodded. “But since? Just you.”

“What?”

“I told you the first night you came home with me, last week, it’d been a while, right? The six months that none of you here know about? I lived through them. So, in my timeline, the last time I slept with anyone would’ve been a year ago. But, since I’ve been back, I’ve only been with you, Syd. I came back a week ago Friday, came into your shop, and threw all caution to the wind to win you. And honestly?” He couldn't help but grin at her. “Last weekend, it was like losing my virginity all over again, because that first time with you? I’d never felt anything even remotely close to what it felt like with you.”

“Frerin.”

“I’m dead fucking serious, Syd.” He brought her hand to his lips once more. “Sex with you is incredible and somehow, I just think it’s going to keep getting better once I know all your hot spots.”

“Oh, you do pretty well with them already.”

He grinned as he turned onto Riverview Terrace and a few minutes later, eased to a stop at his closed garage. “Yeah? Just wait until we get inside, honey. I’ll have you singing my praises before we even get upstairs.”

“Uh, I have to go home, Frerin. I haven’t been there in days and I have no more clean underwear.”

The look he gave her practically turned her blood to smoke. “Go commando and I’ll take you home in the morning.”

“Frerin.”

“I will.” He winked. “I promise.”

“Frerin.”

“Okay, look, if you won’t marry me yet, why don't you just come and live with me?”

“Frerin!”

“What?”

“Are you serious?”

“I am dead fucking serious, Syd.”

“You say that a lot, you know.”

“Well, you keep asking me if I am, so, what else am I supposed to say?”

“Frerin.”

“You say that a lot, too, you know.”

“Frerin!”

“Are you getting mad, Syd?”

“I’m ready to choke you.”

“Sounds kinky, but I trust you.”

“Frerin!”

He leaned over then and kissed her hard on the lips. “I’m serious, Syd. Move in with me.”

“I can’t just move in with you.”

“Why not?”

“Well… my Gram is very old fashioned.”

“So marry me and then move in with me.”

She tried to glare at him, tried to scowl, but his expression grew so angelic and innocent, that holding either look was just about impossible. Even biting the inside of her cheek didn't help. “Are you always this impossible?”

“If it means I’ll either get out of trouble or get laid? Yes.”

“And this is why I keep asking you if you’re serious. I can’t tell and I don't want to look like an idiot.”

His overly innocent expression eased and his eyes grew serious. “Syd, I’m not playing with you.” He reached over and caught her hand once more. “I know it’s soon, and for anyone else—or for the guy I used to be—it would be a red flag. But, I know what I want and I literally had to die to figure it out, but I did figure it out. And honestly, the last thing I want to do is make you look or feel stupid. I just… I like sleeping with you and I don't mean sex. I like actually sleeping with you. I like waking up with you. I like drifting off with you. It feels right.”

She sighed softly at the intensity in his eyes, in his words. “It is nice.”

“It is, Syd.”

As he spoke, he reached out to trace along her cheek with his index finger. “I love you, honey. And this is going to sound so fucking corny, but your face is the last one I want to see before I fall asleep and the first one I want to see when I wake up. You’re the last person I want to talk to every day and if I ever get good news, you’ll be the first one I’ll want to tell. And honestly? My dog likes you, too. You wouldn’t want to break a dog’s heart, would you?”

“Oh, that’s low, Frerin, using your dog to play on my sympathy.”

“Did it work?”

“Maybe.”

He smiled. “What would it take to convince you, Syd?”

“Let’s go inside,” she murmured, “and see if you can’t figure it out.”

His grin grew downright wolfish. “I like the sound of this.”

#Gerard Butler #Frerin Durin #Richard Armitage #The Hobbit #Thorin Oakenshield #Hobbit Fic #Hobbit Fanfic #Fan fiction #The Hobbit fan fiction #Frerin x OC #AU #Frerin Fic #Is it hot in here?#Romance #Modern AU

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