#I just wanted to establish these two first
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𝐅𝐀𝐕 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍?
pairing: gojo, geto, choso, and toji x fem!reader (separate)
summary: celeb!au where the boys are interviewed and asked a pretty personal question ! (I took nanami out bc I don't think he would want to share your business with the world)
content: kinda suggestive, established relationships, allusions to sexual themes, mentions of dacryphyilia in toji's, pet names, cursing, celebrity!au (model, singer, actor, etc)
wc: 1.4k
♡ 𝐒. 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎
"Yes, yes! Thank you for joining us today, Gojo-san. All of your fans are excited to see you play the new lead role in this upcoming movie!" For the past hour Gojo has been answering questions many of his fans have with an interviewer who has gathered some of the most asked questions.
"Next question!" The women exclaims excitedly, when she reads the card she pauses in shock, "Um.. who put this card in there...?" Now the white haired actor was curious.
"Well, what does it say? I'm sure it can't be that bad." His cocky attitude is showing, but a huge percentage of his fans like when he's like this. It makes fantasizing him all the more creative and exciting; or so you hear.
"Uh...uh. Um-" She remembers the camera is rolling, and this is live TV. "Many fans know you have a girlfriend and a lot of them want to ask,
"What is your favorite position?"
Gojo knew his PR team would probably get on his ass for answering this question instead of moving on to a different one but he doesn't care- at all.
"This is a tough one... hm. I guess if I had to choose I'd say cowgirl. I love the way she rides," he pauses for a second before continuing with excitement, "She's hella good at it too! Every time I watch her bounce on it my eyes about roll to the back of my-"
"OKAY. Thank you, Mr. Gojo!" She interrupts, quickly turning to the camera with a very forced smile.
"There you have it! We'll be back after a brief commercial break!"
♡ 𝐒. 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎
Your boyfriend, Suguru, started a podcast about his music life with his band mates two years ago. Since his group already had quite a huge fan base, it was no surprise they took to their podcast with excitement.
Usually the group would talk about funny backstage stories or moments where their performances were almost ruined. Today they're doing a Q&A, the questions that are most asked will be answered first, while less popular questions will be answered later.
"Oh shit, people wanna know Suguru." He quirks an eyebrow, the raven haired male leans his mic towards his lips so the people can hear his voice.
"Know what?" A sly smirk forms on his face because he knows there could be at least a million things 'the people wanna know.'
"They wanna know what's your favorite position to have your girl in." The lead singer snickers whilst asking the question. Suguru clicks his tongue and taps on the desk a few times.
"I really like to have her legs behind her head cuz I can reach really deep that way."
"Sooo, mating press?" Their lead singer is just as nosy as their fans so of course he's gonna press on.
"Hell yeah, man." Some of them clap and others laugh at Suguru's openness.
-----
You were really busy but you decided to tune into your boyfriend's podcast after a bunch of people tagged you on twitter to go listen to today's episode.
When you hear Suguru tell all 2 million of his podcast listeners what position he likes to fuck you in, you scream into your pillow and turn into a giggling mess.
He never knows how to keep his mouth shut, and you love it.
♡ 𝐂. 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎
You're laying on your boyfriend's bed listening to him play his game. Choso's a big time streamer at this point. Four years ago when he started his fan base was quite small and he just enjoyed the few who would join his gaming streams. Now, Choso streams as work and he still loves it just as much as he had long ago.
"Thank you for the tip 'prettyem0b0y22'," Usually Choso reads aloud whatever message they leave with their tips but he hesitates this time.
"Uh- you don't really expect me to answer that, right? She's laying on the bed right now."
That statement immediately grabs your attention, you glance at his monitor screens, trying to get a peek at whatever his fan was asking of him.
It seems plenty of others want to know the answer to this question too because the chat starts speeding up, meaning that they're spamming.
"Guys come on, I'll turn chat off if you guys don't stop." Choso is as scary as a cute little kitten, so they just keep at it, and now you're curious too. What could possibly be that bad that he didn't want to answer it and to be fair he has answered some pretty crazy questions before.
"Indulge me Cho, what did 'prettyem0b0y22' wanna know?" His head swings so fast he could have gotten whiplash from it. His cheeks are burning pink and his brows furrow in confusion.
"I promise it wasn't anything crazy, don't worry about it." Oh, you're worrying about it alright. His strange behavior prompts you to spring up off the bed and walk your way over to his desk.
Instead of just taking a quick look at the chat, you make yourself comfortable in your boyfriend's lap. Obviously the chat goes absolutely crazy when they see you make this gesture. Choso is no doubt embarrassed but he slings an arm around your waist anyway.
"So what was the question he couldn't answer in front of me?" Prettyem0b0y22 wastes no time sending another hefty tip.
"I asked him what's his fav postion with you." When you read the whole thing aloud some giggles leave your lips.
"He likes when I ride him while facing him. For what reason? He's a titty man." Choso gasps as you expose both of you. The risks are high, anyone, literally anyone could see this clip and think something about you, but you don't care. It's your body and his, people don't have power over how you two interact with each other.
The chat explodes with all kinds of things, most are shocked emojis, while others are spamming the cherry emoji. Luckily, Choso's moderator team puts slow chat on and does a few other precautions to settle the situation.
"Baby- I- what if your family sees this? Or worse your boss?!" His concern is absolutely adorable.
"Well I guess I'd have to start a streaming channel of my own?" Everyone in his chat is totally on board with that idea. They've seen you play for Choso before and they think your commentary on games is quite funny.
"I don't want you to lose your job though." This time he whines in pure worry.
"I won't, baby. It'll be alright. Don't overthink it."
♡ 𝐓. 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎
Toji's got what people want to see in model catalogs and magazines. The slutty waist, the well defined but not too defined muscles, his beautiful eyes and long lashes. Toji is a picture perfect model, which is what landed him his modeling gig and even a whole career a few years later.
A journalist, who's particularly interested in his dating life more than his modeling career asks him a bunch of dating related questions.
Some have speculated that Toji was dating, but he neither confirmed nor denied those allegations. You and Toji agreed to keep your relationship on the down low, because having a bunch of strangers in your personal business was not desirable.
The journalist woman words the questions in a way of inference.
"Assuming you had a girlfriend, Fushiguro-sama. What would your favorite position in bed be?" At first Toji groans but then when he registers the question he decides he'll answer it hypothetically when in reality it is something he likes to do with you.
"Hypothetically speaking, if I had a girlfriend my favorite position with her would be missionary, because I'd want to look at her pretty face when she's cryin' on my cock." The journalist writes that down, Toji knows everything he says will be censored but the people will still be able to figure it out.
"Missionary, really? Many people online have guessed you were a doggy-style kind of guy. Based off of your twitter statement that said and I quote 'Love it when her ass is phat. Love squeezing that thing.' End quote"
Toji lets out a deep laugh before answering the woman, "Doggy-style is for people I don't care about, people I don't want to look at, my girl- if I had a girl, she wouldn't be just any fuck."
More theories start to surface after Toji's slip up of words, and that's okay, because they don't know you and you don't know them.
divider: @/plutism
#𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈-𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐒#✩ jjk post#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader smut#gojo x reader#satoru gojo x reader#gojo smut#geto x reader#suguru geto x reader#geto smut#choso x reader#choso kamo x reader#choso smut#toji x reader#toji fushigro x reader#toji smut
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Too early, Navy. I want cuddles with Stud.
I understand that feeling, nonnie.
A Bit Longer
Pairing: Roommate!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: You need to get up, but Bucky wants to hold you for a bit longer.
Word Count: Over 1k
Warnings: Fluff, pet names, teasing, sugary sweetness, inner monologue, established relationship, feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: I really need to stop with the cuddle ficlets, right? Eh. Stud and Smartie, deserve it. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
Bucky’s lips were the first thing you felt when you woke up, bringing a smile to your face. They grazed your shoulder as his arm tightened around your waist, keeping your back against his chest. It was a subtle way to say he wasn’t ready for you to leave the confines of your bed. Or maybe he was the one who didn’t want to leave yet.
Not that you blamed him. It was early. Maybe too early. Cuddling for a bit was always a good way to start the day, his embrace warmer than the thickest blanket. Sex also worked as a way to both wear you out and energize you to tackle the day.
Cuddle, hot sex, cuddle again. Wait, what time is it?
“Okay. We need to get up,” you croaked when you finally looked at the clock, trying in vain with a groan to break from his hold when he refused to move his arm or let you up. Any other morning, you’d wiggle back against him to give him a proper wake up call, but that wasn’t today. “I mean it. No time for sexy time. I need to make you breakfast. Feed the cats. You have to work. God, I need to look over my resume again. Work on wedding stuff. I also need to-”
The throaty chuckle beside you stopped your ramblings because how could it not? Why was his laughter so sexy? Why did his mere existence make you stop in your tracks? In what universe was that right or fair?
Actually, it’s fair because I get to marry him.
“First, there’s always time for sexy time. Two, you didn't say ‘good morning’. By the way, good morning,” he teased, turning your body to face him. “And three, hey, look at me. Let’s just stay in bed for another minute.”
Your eyes slipped shut because there would be no resisting if you stared into his. His gaze had a way of pulling you in so deeply some days you feared you'd drown. But if he ever robbed you of your ability to breathe, he’d find a way to give you air.
“Too much to do,” you muttered. You could feel the seconds slipping away and now wasn’t the time to lounge around. “And if I look at you, you’ll turn one minute into two and then three and then four and so on and so forth and such and what have you. I probably wasted a minute just saying that.”
You tried to back up a bit because no way did your breath smell pleasant and Bucky didn’t need that in his face. A hand moved to the back of your head to keep you still. He didn’t have to tell you that he didn’t care about things like morning breath. If he wanted to hold you close, he’d do just that.
No exceptions.
He chuckled again before his lips brushed your eyelids and skimmed down your cheeks. “I just want you to stay here so I can hold you for a bit longer. Is that too much to ask?”
Well, when you put it like that…
You swallowed hard when he kissed the corner of your mouth, your heart skipping a beat. You were certain an embarrassing sort of whimper slipped out when he brought his lips to the other side. He wasn't rushing or demanding anything from you or trying to turn you on. He just wanted to be there with you.
So many believed that intimacy was just sex when it was much more. It was the feeling of being close and emotionally connected. It was familiarity and even friendship. You liked Bucky from the start, but the two of you were able to build a foundation by getting to know each other. It allowed you to bond on many levels, which only grew stronger once you two became a couple.
He showed you once again, without words, that he was your other half.
“I can feel you thinking, Smartie,” he whispered, his lips trailing back to your forehead.
“Just thinking of us, Stud,” you admitted, pressing your body closer to feel his chest against yours. You breathed him into your lungs and wondered if he knew how addictive he was. Savoring the moment, you allowed yourself to stay tangled up in him before you had to face the day.
His hand moving up and down your side nearly lulled you back to sleep. “You thinking about how you drive me crazy?”
What?
“I drive you crazy?!” You asked, realizing your mistake the moment your eyes flew open. A sea of blue stared back at you and you were too late to stop yourself from taking the plunge. Your gaze didn't have to drift down to know that he was wearing a triumphant smirk. “You made me open my eyes.”
“I sure did,” he smiled.
Well played, Stud. Well played.
The things you had to do seemed almost insignificant as you looked at each other. A minute went by as you listened to the beat of his heart and made no attempt to get up. The tips of your fingers brushed along the scruff on his chin as another minute ticked by and you reveled in the sigh he gave you in return.
Is this what living in the moment means?
“Will it always be like this?” You asked.
“Always like what?”
“You wanting to stay in bed with me a bit longer, even if we both have stuff to do.”
With a kiss to the tip of your nose and one against your smiling lips, he smiled back. “Always.”
Logically, you knew every morning couldn't be this way since life wasn't a fairy tale. The romantic part of you though, the one he helped bring to life, believed the two of you would continue to write your story together and make your own rules. If that meant the two of you cuddled in bed for a few more minutes, you’d happily help him write that chapter.
And every chapter after that.
Where do I get a man like this? 🥰 Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
#navybrat writes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes#roommate!bucky barnes#roommate!bucky barnes x reader#stud and smartie#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes au#james buchanan barnes#sebastian stan#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes oneshot#x reader
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I Don't Wanna Keep Secrets Just To Keep You
Part Three of Time, Wondrous Time
Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x F!Reader
Main Masterlist | Cooper Howard Masterlist | AO3
Series summary: You’re California Crest Studios’ newest production assistant, getting the opportunity to work on the hit movie, The Man From Deadhorse. But when you meet the movie’s lead, Cooper Howard, you fall head-first into a secret affair. Enter a war, a cryogenic freezer, and a two-hundred-year time jump. And yet despite all that, you just might run into him again.
Chapter summary: You come to terms with your feelings for Cooper. Later, you share an intimate moment at The Man From Deadhorse cast party.
Word count: 3k
Warnings: reader is able-bodied and wears a dress + makeup, unspecified age gap, jealousy, drinking, dub con/consent under the influence, !!! sweaty Cooper !!!, hair pulling (Cooper’s), oral sex (M and F receiving), vaginal sex, unprotected sex, pull out method, cum swallowing, praise kink, pet names (sweetheart), angst, no use of y/n
That one fateful night led you headfirst into a secret affair. The first night could’ve been nothing but a fluke, a one-time slip-up as a result of a poor decision. But it’s really the second time that confirms the undeniable attraction you two have for one another. The affair lasts through the rest of the shoot. You fall into a routine of getting together at night after the workday is done, always in his trailer and never on weekends. It always ends with you two lying with each other, talking about life. He shares his misgivings about his wife and her job at Vault-Tec. He’s a paranoid man but based on what he told you, you can’t blame him.
As the end of shooting draws near, you form a pit in your stomach. A sense of dread and longing looms over you. What if you never have nights like these again? What if this is your first and last production working with Cooper Howard? And now that the end is in sight, you realize you have a serious problem…
You’re head over heels in love with him. It’s driving you crazy, craving a man who will never truly be yours. You want more than just his midnights. You want his mornings, his weekends– you want him all the time. In the countless nights you’ve spent with him in his trailer, he’s shown you colors you’ve never seen before. It makes you sick, thinking about the hold he has on you.
But you wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the whole world.
-
It’s the last day of the shoot. These past couple of months have flown by. You thought by now you’d be upset to lose your sense of community. But the truth is, you never felt like you were fully integrated into this environment. You joined the crew about halfway through the production when there were already pockets of established groups and cliques. It’s ironic to think about, the leading man being the only person to welcome you with open arms. You never expected him to even give you the time of day and yet here you are, sharing secrets under the cover of night, sweaty limbs intertwined paired with labored breaths. Those nights were fleeting moments of bliss. You wish you had appreciated them a bit more. And now that the shoot is wrapping up, you’re not sure when you’ll ever get moments like that again.
After a long, hot, tiring day, Emil finally calls wrap. Everyone is packing up when Emil calls everyone for an announcement.
“I know it’s been a long day and you all want to get home to your families but I just have an announcement I’d like to make,” Emil says. “This has been a long shoot, a lot longer than I intended it to be, and to celebrate I’m having a party for the cast and crew Saturday night at seven. If you need my address, find me before you leave. Thanks, everyone!”
A party for the cast and crew.
You get butterflies in your stomach, thinking about the possibility of seeing Cooper outside of the studio. You can only assume Barb will be there, too. But it’s worth hearing his voice and seeing his smile, at least one more time. Saturday can’t come soon enough.
You make sure to get Emil’s address before hanging back like you always do. You’re not sure if you’ll get to see Cooper in his trailer again. You can only hope since it’s the last day. But you’ve never talked about what will happen to you now that the shoot’s wrapped up. A sinking feeling in your gut tells you that your relationship will end after tonight.
You wander aimlessly while you wait for Cooper, reminiscing on your time here and most importantly with him. You turn and glance over your shoulder, watching as Cooper walks towards you, out of costume and in his regular clothes. You smile when you see him but he doesn’t match yours, his mouth forms into a tight frown.
“Everything alright?” you ask as he approaches you.
“I can’t stay tonight.”
“No worries,” you lie, already fighting the urge to cry.
“Something came up with Janey.”
“I hope everything’s okay.”
“It’ll be fine. She’s just sick and Barb has some big meeting with the executives at Vault-Tec tonight. Babysitter’s not available on short notice.”
“Sounds important.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
“You don’t have to apologize. It’s not your fault.”
“I’ll see you on Saturday, sweetheart,” he says, turning and walking away.
“You’re going?!”
“Of course I am!” he calls over his shoulder, walking to the parking lot.
So much for one last time together.
-
The shoot wrapped up on a Thursday so luckily you only had to wait a day before Saturday rolled around. After spending an exorbitant amount of time on your makeup and outfit, you head to Emil’s house. You’re wearing one of your favorite dresses, a color that compliments your skin and hugs your body in all the right places. You pull up to Emil’s house, a huge mansion in the hills, overwhelmed at the sheer size of it but also expecting nothing less from him.
His house is packed with everyone from the studio, letting loose over cocktails and cigarettes. For a minute, you feel like a deer in headlights, anxious about who to talk to and where to hang out. You spot Cooper across the living room, talking with a group of people you recognize. But you’re not comfortable enough to go over there and insert yourself in the conversation. To your delight, Barb isn’t with him. But before you get too excited, you remind yourself she could be elsewhere in the house.
You get a drink from the wait staff in the kitchen and hang out in the corner of the living room, sipping your drink and awkwardly waiting for the perfect moment to swoop in. But you’re pulled from your pining when a man approaches you, drink in hand and wearing an uneasy smile. You vaguely recognize him. You’ve seen him around on set but you couldn’t place his name or what he does at the studio.
“Hi,” he says, awkwardly.
“Hi.”
“I’ve seen you around on set.”
“Likewise.”
“I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Dan,” he says, holding out his hand.
You reluctantly shake his hand and tell him your name, letting an uncomfortable silence fall between you two.
“Actually, I… I wanted to tell you something else.”
“Shoot.”
“Well, I’ve always thought you were beautiful, and I…”
What’s he saying turns into white noise as your gaze fixates on Cooper again. To your surprise, Cooper’s looking right at you with his jaw clenched. Could he possibly be… jealous?
You look back at Dan who’s silent, waiting for your response. You blink a few times and say, “That’s sweet of you. But I’m not looking for anything right now.”
He opens his mouth to speak but before he can, you say, “Would you excuse me for a moment? I need some air.”
You push past him and make a beeline for the glass door across the living room. But before you can step outside, Emil stops you.
“Hey! I just wanted to give you something,” he says, setting his drink down on a shelf and reaching inside his pocket. He pulls out a small envelope and continues, “Open this when you’re alone later.”
“Thanks,” you say, taking the envelope from him and putting it in your purse.
“Is everything alright?”
“I’m okay. I just need some air. Thanks, Emil,” you respond, sliding past him.
You head into the backyard, sitting on a lawn chair by Emil’s pool. The prospect of another man confessing his attraction to you just sends you further into Cooper’s arms, confirming how badly you want to be exclusive with him already. But you also wonder what could possibly be in that envelope Emil gave you. You go to open it but a voice stops you, an unmistakable voice.
“You okay, sweetheart?”
You look up at him as he places a hand on your shoulder. He’s wearing concern all over his face.
“That guy wasn’t bothering you, was he?”
“No,” you shake your head. “It’s just a little overwhelming in there.”
“What do you say we go somewhere more private?”
“Where?”
He gestures across the pool with his head. You glance in that direction and spot a pool house, turning and looking at Cooper again with a smirk on your face.
“You go first. I’ll meet you there.”
“Is Barb here?”
“Nope. She’s at a Vault-Tec dinner.”
Perfect.
You walk over to the pool house, creeping the door open and poking your head inside, just to make sure no one’s inside. It’s bigger than it looks on the outside. You opt to turn on a lamp rather than the main overhead light. You don’t want to draw any extra attention. A large sectional sits in the middle of the room, complete with a bar cart at its side. You toss your purse on the couch and turn to peek into the bathroom, finding a full-blown sauna.
Cooper joins you and closes the door to the pool house, putting a hand on the small of your back.
“Impressed?”
“Uhh, yeah. This is wild.”
“Wanna use it?”
“Really?”
“Mhm,” he says, turning up the dial.
He starts taking off his jacket and unbuttoning his shirt. Before you get undressed you ask, “Are we going to get in trouble?”
“Hell no.”
“Are you sure?”
“Would you stop worrying so much?” he says, hands gravitating to your waist and pulling you close. He leans in and whispers in your ear, “Strip for me. Now.”
“Yes, sir,” you breathe, turning around so he can unzip your dress. You peel off your clothes and kick off your shoes as the small wooden room heats up. A warm, earthy scent fills your senses. You look at him, his belt undone and his pants hanging low on his hips.
“You’re gorgeous… But I’m sure you’re sick of me tellin’ you that all the time.”
“Are you kidding me? I’ll never get used to it,” you say, sitting on the bench.
He gets down on his knees, pulling your thighs apart with his hands. Without warning, he dives face-first into your cunt, licking one long, slow trail up your entrance. A shiver runs down your spine as you take a deep breath, the woodsy aroma filling your lungs. You look down at him and find him staring directly at you. His tongue swirls around your pussy before he latches his mouth onto your clit, sucking with more and more pressure. He moans into you as he works you up to the edge. You reach between your legs and run your hand through his hair, gripping his locks as you teeter on the brink of orgasm. You tug on his hair every time his tongue hits a particularly sensitive spot. He’s already slick with sweat, forehead glistening in between your legs. Your moans and whimpers grow louder and stronger, coming out as choked-up sobs as he pushes you over the edge. Waves of pleasure wash over you, your cunt clenching around nothing while your thighs close around his head. He laps up the remnants of your release before sitting on the bench next to you, swiping his fingers across his jaw to collect the rest of your spend and popping them in his mouth.
You trade places with him, sinking to the floor on your knees. One of your hands cups his balls as the other wraps around the base of his already hard cock. You waste no time taking him in your mouth, swirling your tongue around the head of his cock over and over again. He throws his head back and curses under his breath, bringing a hand to your face and caressing your cheek. You flash your eyes up at him, watching him go crazy for you. His jaw is slack and his pupils are wide, adoration written all over his face.
Just when you think he’s going to cum, he grabs your face and pulls his cock out of your mouth, “Not so fast.”
You stand up and turn around so your back is facing him, taking it upon yourself to sit on his cock. He curses again, wrapping his hands around your waist and playing with your nipples as you bounce up and down.
“Such a good girl. Bouncing up and down on my cock like a fuckin’ angel.”
“Only for you.”
“That’s right,” he responds, letting one of his hands leave your waist to deliver a swift slap on your ass.
Between bouncing yourself on his cock and grinding your hips back and forth, you’re well on your way to your second orgasm. Your wetness seeps out of you and coats his lap, making it easier to grind against his lap. With one last motion of your hips, you cum around his cock, feeling truly full. You lean back against his chest, both of your bodies hot and drenched with sweat. Aftershocks of your orgasm rip through you, making you shudder. His hands roam up and down your body, leaving no part of you ignored. But he can only hold off his orgasm for so long. He grabs your hips and coaxes you to get up, ordering you to get on your knees again.
“On your knees, sweetheart.”
You face him with your mouth open, tongue sticking out as he strokes himself. Soon enough, he’s coming into your mouth with a guttural moan. You swallow his release before wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. You crawl into his lap and wrap yourself around him, always listening for his wild heartbeat. Both of you are completely covered in sweat, but it’s not gross. It’s a pleasant aroma of his natural scent mixed with the woodsy fragrance of the sauna. It’s a scent you could get addicted to if you’re not careful enough. He strokes your back, kissing your head and whispering sweet nothings in your ear.
Tilting your head, you look up at his face. “Were you… jealous of that guy earlier?”
“Who? Dan?”
“Mhm. You look like you would have punched him right then and there,” you tease.
“No one flirts with my girl.”
Those two words. My girl. That’s all you wanted to hear him say over these past few months. But then reality settles in. Dan doesn’t know you’re Cooper’s girl.
You think about where you are and remember that you’ll have to leave the pool house separately. You remember that he can only call you sweetheart in secret. You remember that he’s just… not truly yours.
The affair’s been fun and all but it’s just been placating you from what you’ve been craving this whole time– exclusivity. You want to be more than his dirty little secret. You want his Friday nights and his Sunday mornings. You want to eat dinner with him every night. You want to go on dates. You want to walk red carpets with him and listen to him gush about you in interviews. You want him to show you off.
“Sweetheart? Are you okay?” he asks. He must’ve sensed you going abnormally still and quiet.
You pull back and look at him, worry written on his face. What you want to tell him is on the tip of your tongue. But you can’t bring yourself to do it.
“I’m fine,” you lie.
“Okay,” he says, cupping your face again. “We should probably get showered and dressed. I have no idea how long we’ve been in here.”
“Right,” you nod, pulling yourself off of him no matter how hard it is. You reach for your clothes and walk into the shower. He does the same and turns off the sauna. You turn on the water, letting steam fill the walk-in shower before getting inside. He gets in with you, chest pressed against your back. He grabs the bottle of shower gel and creates a lather in his hand, rubbing it up and down your body as you relax. He’s careful to not ruin your makeup like a true gentleman. Once you’re clean you do the same for him, washing each other in comfortable silence. The end looms over your head but you choose not to focus on it. You choose to focus on the few fleeting moments you have left.
He turns off the water and grabs a towel, helping you dry off and get dressed. And soon enough, you’re both dressed again as if what happened in the sauna never occurred, except for your makeup that’s a little sweat-ridden. Before you part ways he kisses you, soft and sweet, telling you good night before slipping back out into the party.
You grab your purse off the couch and remember the envelope Emil gave you. Now that you’re alone you open it, finding a handwritten card that says;
Just wanted to say thank you. You really saved our asses with this production. As a token of my gratitude, here are two tickets to The Man From Deadhorse premiere.
-Emil
The two tickets slip out of the card. You glance at the date and see it’s not until January of next year, four months from now. Regardless, that was nice of him. When you signed up to work on the film you never thought you’d be able to attend the premiere. Your stomach swirls at the thought of seeing Cooper all dressed up on the red carpet but then it sinks when you remember he’ll be with Barb.
You shove the envelope and the tickets back in your purse, glancing at the room once more. Once you turn off the light, you leave the pool house, dragging your feet as you walk back to your car. The reality of the situation is sinking in now– that was probably the last time you’ll see Cooper for a while. And maybe it’s the alcohol or the post-sex hormones talking but you could break down and cry at any given moment. But you don’t give in until you’re alone in the comfort of your car, cursing the man who welcomed you with open arms on your first day on set.
End note: This series is five parts now because I’m an indecisive idiot 🤧🤧 This is also some of my favorite smut I’ve ever written?!?!? And thank you to @clawdee for beta reading and telling me I needed to make Cooper sweatier 😏
If you like my work, consider supporting me on Ko-fi 🤍
Check out the series playlist! 🎶
Fic notifs: @beskarandblastersfics
Dividers: @saradika-graphics
Tag list: @widowmakerow @bisasterbisexual @wowitsem @vegetarianvamp @celestial-vomit @ghoulsimper @anyzandy @justfoxymuffins @hobnob2020 @fallout-girl219 @ipostwhtifeel @awhoresjourney @the-faceless-bride @birdieofloxley @raviolisenpai
#cooper howard x reader#cooper howard smut#cooper howard x you#cooper howard x f!reader#the ghoul x reader#the ghoul smut#the ghoul x you#the ghoul x f!reader#fallout#fallout fanfiction#cooper howard#the ghoul#time wondrous time
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SLEEP OVER PT.1
pairing: fushiguro toji/reader
wc: 2.3k
summary: staying the night at your boyfriends place for the first time is nervewracking, especially when he seems to feel a certain way about you wearing his clothes
a/n; dilf dilf dilf dilf dilf dilf...uhm anyways...i lurv toji a lot and i needed to write something for him, i thought it would fix me but it may have made me worse :D also, i would like to write a part 2 for this maybe :3
warnings: 18+ only, smut, established relationship, tiny bit of possessiveness, (minor) size difference kink, heavy petting, dry humping, afab!reader, no use of pronouns or y/n, nicknames used; doll, ma'am (once in a joking way)
MDNI | SMUT UNDER CUT
Hovering in Toji’s kitchen, you try to make yourself seem more relaxed, you’ve been in his house plenty of times now but this time is different. This is the first time you’re staying the night, alone, in his house, with him.
Besides heavy petting, nothing more has ever happened between the two of you, to say you have expectations is an understatement. It doesn’t have to happen but you’ve been together for a little bit now and there’s only so long you can hold out, you mean, have you seen Toji?
He’s been patient, you were initially the one who said you didn’t want to rush things, you were scared of just being a lay and asked him to wait until you felt ready, which he has respected. He’s respected it…too well, barely making out before he’s parting from you. The sexual frustration you’ve been feeling has you wound so tight that you might literally implode as soon as he touches you.
From across the counter separating you, he teases, “You gonna help me over here? Or did you propose baking together just to watch me do it for you?”
“Well… I am enjoying the view,” you flirt back, playing off the stiffness in your joints.
He raises a brow at you, “How about you flirt with me while whisking that bowl right there,” he nods down to the bowl just off to his side.
“Yessir,” you stand at attention and throw a little salute his way.
When you round the bench to stand next to him, he bumps into your shoulder with his own, “You feeling okay, doll?”
You hum and look up at him, “Yeah, I’m good.”
It’s mostly quiet after that, aside from small talk and teasing remarks made while you finish prepping the ingredients. You told him that sleepovers needed brownies and he went out and bought stuff to make them, it was incredibly sweet and made you almost swoon on the spot when you showed up and he told you what he’d done.
Unluckily for you and your clumsy nature, his sink sprays a bunch of water down your front as you’re washing a dish. You let out an unceremonious squeaking sound at the sudden rush of cold running all the way down your pyjama shirt, to your pants.
The bowl Toji was holding clatters a bit as he drops it to be at your side, “What happened?” He asks before seeing your drenched clothes, an amused smile taking place where his concern was sitting, “You’re not much help in the kitchen, huh?”
“Hey!” you frown at him, “I am perfectly helpful, thank you very much. It’s not my fault your sink hates me.” You feel like a wet cat under his gaze, “What am I meant to do now? These are the only pyjamas I bought with me,” you pout slightly, looking down at your ruined clothes.
“Just wear something of mine,” he shrugs easily.
The idea of wearing his comfortable clothes makes your skin buzz, “Okay… thank you,” you mumble at him.
He scoffs at your sudden coyness, “You want me to pick something out for you or do you got it?”
“No, I got it,” you smile at him before turning to wander through the house to his room.
Shuffling through his drawers, you find a shirt and some sweatpants to wear. They’re large on you, the whole look incredibly baggy, having to pull the drawstrings on his sweats a bit tighter to make sure they stay up. You feel better though, warm, you hope he won’t mind but you had to borrow a pair of his boxers as well…
When you walk back into the kitchen, Toji does a double take on you, his eyes widening slightly, “You comfy?”
“Very,” you walk up to him, “You finish with the brownie mix?”
He stares at you for a moment before replying, “…Yeah, they’re in the oven.”
“Nice, putting the mix in the tray is my least favourite part, it’s always so sticky and messy and I end up getting frustrated because it won’t all go in and then I need another spoon to get the mix off the spatula and then I have to go back and forth…” You trail off, noticing he’s not really paying attention to what you’re saying, he is looking at you though, “Toji, Something wrong?”
He considers you for a moment, “You look cute,” is all he says.
You feel shy under his gaze now, not expecting him to compliment you so sincerely, “So do you?”
He barks a laugh at your clumsy compliment, “Alright, wanna watch something while we wait?” He changes the topic.
“Sure!”
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
He’s not as subtle as he thinks he is, his hand rests on your thigh, rubbing his thumb in circles but just because he’s not subtle doesn’t mean it’s not working. The tv plays some movie in front of the pair of you but you can’t pay attention, you’ve not retained a single plot point, his warm hand on your thigh is all you can feel, all you can register.
You have a feeling you’re going to have to be the one to break this, the weird limbo you’re both in. Turning your head to the side and looking up, you aren’t ready for how he’s already looking down at you, his hand on your thigh reaches for the side of your face, cradling you gently. He moves in slowly, giving you the chance to pull back in protest if you don’t want him to kiss you.
You want it though and lean up the rest of the way, kissing him deeply, wanting to put your lips on him for nearly the whole time you’ve been here. He meets your eagerness, his hand holding you more firmly, his tongue licking into your mouth, wanting to taste you. His body moves into yours more, his other hand grabbing at your hip.
His kisses grow rushed and he ends up trailing them to your neck, kissing and licking along the exposed skin there. The hand on your face angles you to his will, manoeuvring you every which way so he can get his lips on whatever part of you he desires.
Huffed out whine leave you at the way he nips at your skin, he has enough of the odd angle and pulls you onto his lap completely, sitting back as his hands roam your body over his clothes.
“Toji,” you whine out his name.
His eyes look into yours, “Do you need me to stop?”
Shaking your head at him, you say, “No, I need more…”
“You really do look cute in my clothes,” he murmurs, leaning in again and pressing a full kiss to your lips, “You look comfortable… all wrapped up in my clothes.” He reiterates that they are in fact his clothes you’re wearing.
His hands move under the large shirt, groping at your bare skin, delighting in the warmth and plushness of you. Your body breaks out in goose bumps as a noticeable shiver runs down your spine, his touch electrifying to you.
“My, how sensitive you are,” he teases you, a self-satisfied grin making its way onto his face.
“Shut up,” you snark back, “Just… kiss me again?”
His smile grows, “Yes ma’am,” he jokes before kissing you again.
You’re getting lost in it, in the feel of his lips on yours, it’s making you dizzy and needy. Your hips grind down into his on their own accord and Toji moans against you, surprised by the sudden friction. Recovering quickly, his hands grab your hips and encourage you to keep going, your clothed cunt dragging up and down his covered cock has spots in your vision.
Your hands grip the fabric of his shirt tight, your lips disconnecting from his every time you moan, only for him to press them back together. His dick twitches in his pants, painfully erect and sensitive, he has a feeling he could cum like this.
This is the furthest the two of you have gone so far and he’s not wasting this opportunity, he needs to see you cum, he needs to hear it. The grip he has on you is harsh, his hips rut up into yours which results in the most pathetic sound he’s ever heard coming from you… he needs more.
Pulling back, you whinge, “Toji~ I wan– t more… I want more.”
“Well… I want you to cum while wearing my clothes,” he counters.
You gasp at his blunt words, “I–”
You don’t get the chance to finish your thought, his hips thrusting up, the shock delicious. His dick is leaking profusely in his pants, he’s way too sensitive right now, for his grown age. You’d asked to go slow and he complied but that didn’t mean he didn’t have to furiously jerk himself off after your visits.
Toji’s boxers are uncomfortably wet against your core, slick and stuck to your pussy with how worked up he’s gotten you. All the layers are upsetting you; you just want one less layer, his pants, your pants, you don’t care, you just need more.
“Toji, lemme take off the sweats, please, please, please,” you all but beg at him.
“No. Told you,” he scolds, “I want you cumming in my clothes.”
“Mmm but…” You hesitate.
You’ve caught his interest, quirking a brow at you, he asks, “But what?”
You decide to tell him even though you’re a little embarrassed, “I’m also wearing your boxers.”
He holds you still against him, a sound of objection coming from you at the lack of friction, “You’re wearing my boxers?”
You nod quickly, hoping for this line of questioning to be done soon, “I am.”
“Why?”
You look down, to where you’re sat on top of him, his large cock strained against his pants, you falter slightly in your answer, distracted. Toji’s hand tapping against your thigh brings you back, “Mine were wet from the sink…”
He tugs at the sweats, “Take these off, right now.”
Standing on wobbly legs, you undo the drawstring on his pants and slip them down.
Toji groans at the sight of your bare legs, “Lift up my shirt,” he directs.
Which you do, biting your lip, trying to fight off the urge to run away in embarrassment. Your hands hold his shirt up slightly, exposing to him how you’re wearing his boxers.
His eyes scan your lower half carefully, his heart stuttering in is chest. His light grey boxers dark where your arousal has pooled, “Fuck, come here,” he pats his lap, grabbing you when you’re close enough. “You’re so fucking wet, doll, shit.”
When you’re back on his lap, he wastes no time, his cock rubs between your folds, parting them from under his boxers, the friction different and consuming. This feels so much better than before, it feels almost intense after getting minimal sensation.
“Toji~ I don’t think I’ll last long like this,” you admit, feeling shame from how pathetic you must seem.
“Good,” he groans, his hips thrusting up into yours while his hands drag you back and forth on his cock, “I won’t either.”
To hear he’s just as effected by this as you are makes your cunt pulse around nothing, a whimper leaving you from how pathetically empty you feel, “I still want more,” you pout.
“Later,” he promises.
Your skin buzzes and your stomach clenches, your fingers dig into his shoulders, feeling impossibly close to finishing. Your eyes grow dazed, hot, huffed breaths leaving your parted lips. The sight has Toji’s cock twitching profusely, barely fighting off his orgasm, wanting to see you cum first.
“Come on, doll, I need to see it,” he tugs you quicker, your slick cunt sliding easily against his pants, the wetness seeping through the boxers onto them, “I need to see you cum for me.”
You shudder at his words, “I’m gonna–”
One of his hands leave your hip and slides to your face, his thumb pressing past your lips, you take it and suck on it, tongue licking the pad of it gently. A moan from deep in his chest rumbles under your hands, it’s all too much. Your cunt flutters against him and your eyes roll back, moans muffled around his thumb as your cum gushes from your pussy, coating his boxers even more.
Toji can’t help but watch, he’s watching you so closely, his cock cumming very suddenly. Your orgasm, the dumb look in your eyes, the flutter of your lashes, the shake in your body as you cum in his clothes undoes him. His own cum seeps into his pants, a large, wet stain growing on his sweats as his dick jerks with his orgasm.
He pulls his thumb from your mouth, dragging your lower lip down with it, “Fuck,” he bites out.
He rides out both your highs, lightly grinding his hips up into you as you both come down. Your form collapses into him, curling yourself around him. His arms wrap around you, holding you close as you jolt every now and again, it’s cute, he thinks.
You lay peacefully like this for a moment before you remember, “The brownies,” you try to pull yourself away from him.
“They’re fine, oven went off only a moment ago,” he hums.
“I’ll go grab them then,” you say.
“Alright, shaky, off you go,” he mocks you and your jelly legs.
Pulling back, you frown at him, “I will.”
He just smiles knowingly at you.
Crawling off him carefully, you stand on your shaky legs momentarily before sitting back down on the couch next to him, “Maybe you should go get them.”
“Mhm,” he answers, leaning over he presses a kiss to your cheek, “That’s what I thought.”
You cross your arms over your chest and scowl at him, pretending to be more upset than you actually are.
Toji goes into the kitchen and pulls the brownies out, he calls over to you, “So… I hope you like the corners of your brownies a little crispy.”
You can’t help but laugh at that.
PLAGIARISM NOT CONDONED | REPOSTS NOT AUTHORISED
#visionwrites#toji x reader#toji x reader smut#toji fushigro x reader#toji fushiguro x you#toji fushiguro smut#fushiguro toji x reader#toji smut#toji fushiguro x reader smut#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader smut#toji fushiguro x reader#fushiguro toji x reader smut
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three in the morning - b.d. + g.t.
Bodhi Durran x reader x Garrick Tavis
Garrick comes back from overnight watch to find both of his partners in his bed. Filth ensues.
words: 4.1k
🏷: NSFW. no book spoilers, but set during Fourth Wing. reader is afab and feminine, but no pronouns used. threesome, established poly relationship, soft dom/sub dynamics, Garrick’s first time subbing but he’s very good at it, overuse of pet names, a lot of praise, mention of oral sex (f receiving), some body worship, because who doesn’t want to kiss each one of Garrick’s ab muscles?, unprotected PIV x2, sloppy seconds / cum as lube (don’t look at me like that), lots of aftercare!!! buckle up and bring a towel and maybe some baby wipes. you’ll need them. I'm really exposing myself with this one, but I hope you like it.
Being a section leader has its perks — namely, getting a nicer room with a bigger bed — but Garrick could really do without the once-a-week overnight watch.
It wreaks havoc on his sleep schedule, staying up until two in the morning every Thursday night, only to wake back up at six for another full day of classes and flight training. Fridays are hell, but at least he has Saturday to ease things off, catching up on sleep — his personal record is eleven hours straight, before Xaden practically dragged him out of bed for a dagger drop.
You and Bodhi try to make it more pleasant, making sure he eats something before his shift starts and kissing him goodbye, spending those nights in his room, so that he can come back to fall asleep in warm sheets and soft embraces. While that’s very nice to come home to, it also somehow makes the watch even more agonizing, knowing that his partners are sleeping in his bed right now, half-dressed, a soft and loving tangle of limbs that he can’t work his way into for hours.
When the infantry leadership finally shows up to relieve him — and they’re always fucking late —, he’ll make the climb up to his room, where he usually finds you both fast asleep. He’ll use the last of his energy to shower and brush his teeth before slotting himself into bed next to you. The feeling of the mattress shifting under his weight will wake you up, and you’ll each give him a sleepy kiss and a soft welcome home before you slip back into dreamland, content to cuddle into all that plush muscle until sunrise — which is only a few hours away.
But sometimes you two don’t make it all the way to bed. There’s been more than one occasion where you’ve tried to stay up until his return, passing the time studying, only to knock out around one, slumped onto the floor with your textbooks still open in your laps, leaving Garrick to wake you up and help you change into proper pajamas before you all pile into bed together.
“I’ve told you two not to stay up for me,” he’ll remind you gently, not having it in him to properly scold you when you’re so soft and sleepy like this, all warm and pliant in his arms.
“We know,” Bodhi always replies, wrapping his body around the older boy’s. “Just missed you.”
Then you’ll hum in agreement, nuzzling your cheek into his shoulder, and it’ll only be a matter of minutes until Garrick is out like a light, completely relaxed, all his worries brushed away by your soft touches.
Tonight, as he moves to unlock the door to his room, he sees the soft glow of a mage light, but when he crosses the wards that Xaden helped him put up, he doesn’t hear the still silence that should come with the pair of you having fallen asleep. A mischievous smile spreads across his face at the familiar sounds; the wet smack of skin on skin and the soft, needy noises that always spill from your lips when someone is touching you just right.
Sure enough, Bodhi has you lying on the bed face-down, ass-up, his hands gripping your waist and pulling you back against his hips as he fucks you nice and deep.
Bodhi grins at him, and Garrick realizes that you’re facing the door — he wanted Garrick to find you two like this.
“Look who’s home, honey,” Bodhi coos.
It takes you a second to process his words, your brain already been turned to mush with how good Bodhi is making you feel, but you lift your head from the pillow you’d buried your face into, looking up. “Gare,” you breathe, your eyes widening.
He can see the little streak of fear that moves through you as you realize he’s back, that he’d caught you both red-handed, but Bodhi continues driving his hips into yours without a care in the world, showing zero signs that he’s going to stop.
That’s the difference between you two — Bodhi isn’t as afraid of Garrick as you are. It takes a lot for him to consider submitting, while you fold so easily — just the right look from either of them, being spoken to in the right tone of voice or touched in the right places, and you turn from a fearless dragon rider to a soft and pliant little toy.
Like tonight, when he’d been able to convince you to break Garrick’s rules and have some fun, just the two of you. You'd been so needy after nearly two weeks without any kind of sex, and when he’d woken you up in the middle of the night by grinding his hips against your ass and kissing your neck, your resolve started to crumble, very quickly.
It was too easy for him to lead you down that slippery slope that led to your current position — soft kisses turned into his hands all over your body, groping and squeezing… and then he’d convinced you to let him eat you out, to let him make you cum on his tongue… you don’t have to do anything, honey, just lay there and look pretty. it’ll feel so good, I promise.
It did feel good; very good, and it was only natural that it led to something more — the thorough fucking you’d both needed, been so desperate for after weeks without.
But Garrick doesn’t seem mad about this at all. He’s giving you that signature smug smile — like he’s proud that he has the both of you in his bed, and he has some devious plan in mind for you.
“How was watch?” Bodhi asks casually, starting to draw little circles on your clit with his fingertips.
“Fine,” Garrick answers. “Same old. A few first-years sneaking around and making out in the halls, but no threats to life as we know it.”
He strips off his flight jacket, draping it over the back of his desk chair like he always does. He’s wearing a tight thermal shirt underneath that hugs every muscle of his arms and torso just right, clinging to his chest.
You watch as he brings a hand down to rub and squeeze at his cock through his pants. It’s hard to see with the dim lighting of the room and the solid black fabric covering it, but you know that he’s definitely hard, ready to fuck you as soon as Bodhi’s done — they’ve always been good at sharing, at taking turns.
You shiver at the thought, wondering how Garrick is going to respond to finding you two here like this, if he’s truly not mad, or if the two of you will be in for a world of trouble in the next few minutes.
Garrick coos down at you, condescending. “You needed this so bad, didn’t you, honey? So desperate to be fucked that you couldn’t wait another hour for me to get back, that you just had to break the rules?”
Your cheeks burn with embarrassment, but you find yourself nodding, agreeing with him. “Yes,” you whimper, “m’sorry, I just — ah — know you’re tired from watch, and you do so much for us already… didn’t want to bother you…”
He feels a twinge of guilt as he realizes that you have a point. It’s been much longer than it should have since he’d last fucked you properly— he’s always so busy with watch and third-year classes and section leader stuff, and trying to keep the rest of you alive… he’s exhausted at the end of every day, and you’d been too concerned for his health to ask him to do anything else on top of it all.
“Shh, honey,” he soothes, stroking your hair gently. “I’m not mad. S’ really fucking hot seeing you two like this in my bed. And I don’t care how tired I am, I’ll never be too tired to take care of my loves when they’re needy.”
You have that cute little concentrated look on your face as you look up at him, your eyebrows furrowed, holding your breath… he realizes that you’re trying not to cum until he gives you permission. So you do still care about his rules after all— or maybe this is just an attempt at damage control.
“It’s okay, honey. You can cum for us,” he coos.
You stop fighting it, letting the motion of Bodhi’s fingertips on your clit and the relentless thrust of his hips into yours push you toward the edge. A few seconds tick by, and you break, sobbing out Bodhi’s name and babbling incoherently as he continues to fuck you through your climax.
“Fuck,” Bodhi pants, his head tipping back. “You get so fucking tight when you cum, honey, gods…” He moves his fingers away from your clit, but continues railing into you, the head of his cock nudging against that special spot with every stroke.
You let your head drop back into the pillow, muffling your little squeaks and cries at the overwhelming sensation.
Adorable. And really fucking hot.
Garrick undoes the buttons of his pants, sighing in relief as the pressure on his crotch decreases. Having a hard-on in flight pants is never comfortable — the fabric is too stiff and restraining. He kicks off his boots, stripping down to just his underwear, and leaving the clothes in a pile on the floor that he’ll clean up later. Right now, he has more important things to do.
You continue to whine helplessly into the cushion, completely limp; Bodhi’s hands on your hips are the only thing keeping your body raised off the bed. He isn’t far behind you, if his panting breaths and soft moans are any indication.
“Oh, are you close, baby?”
“Uh-huh,” Bodhi stammers, struggling to keep eye contact with Garrick — another one of his rules; he always wants to see those pretty eyes of yours when he makes you fall apart. Unless he has you laid face-down, of course.
“Go ahead, then.”
He continues the movements for a few seconds before you hear a gorgeous little moan, and his pace slows to a lazy drag, riding it out.
“Holy shit,” he pants, stroking his hands over your hips appreciatively before he pulls out.
Garrick sits on the edge of the bed, rubbing your back for a moment. “You okay, honey?”
You hum in affirmation, moving your head to rest against his thigh, nuzzling your cheek into the soft muscle as you regain your strength.
“This is new,” he muses, brushing a knuckle over the strap of the little tank top you’re wearing; rider’s black, of course, but soft and lacy and completely impractical for anything other than sleeping, in both senses of the word. It’s just thin enough for him to see the outline of your nipples through it, hardened in the chill of the room.
Bodhi must have been truly desperate if he kept your shirt on. He normally loves taking his sweet time with you, sucking on your nipples and teasing them with his fingertips, groping at the softness of your chest. He could spend hours just doing that, and he has before, on multiple occasions.
Garrick brings his hands down to smooth over your shoulders, admiring the softness of your body. “Think you can go again, lovie?”
You make a happy sound of affirmation, eager to feel his body against yours after so long, but you’re still a little worried about him, and the fact that he’s been awake for nearly twenty-four hours already.
“You’re sure you’re not too tired?” you ask softly, looking up at him. How cute.
He just smiles. “Oh, I’m fucking exhausted. Which is why you two are gonna be doing all the work.”
Bodhi grins at him, having caught his breath. “Yes, sir.”
Garrick’s jaw flexes at the response, and he raises an eyebrow in warning.
The two of you had learned the hard way that Garrick is a little bit of an authoritarian. He likes to be in charge in the bedroom, and doesn’t tolerate any sort of sarcasm or backtalk out of either of you; a bit ironic, but if you were to bring that up, you’d quickly find yourself in a rather compromising position — though not an unpleasant one.
You decide to take this a little farther, boldened by the conspiratorial look on Bodhi’s face.
“Our section leader works so hard,” you coo, rising onto your knees. “All these long night shifts, keeping us safe… The least we can do is thank him for his service, and help him relax.”
Bodhi knows where you’re going with this, eager to follow along. “It’s for the good of the quadrant, really. Got to keep morale high.”
“Well then,” Garrick says smugly, liking the way this is headed. “Get on with it.”
He doesn’t need to tell you twice. You work in easy synchrony — you sit up straighter to kiss him, Bodhi dipping his head down to kiss his neck, his hands smoothing over the broad expanse of Garrick’s chest and shoulders.
Garrick rests a hand on the back of your neck to keep you close, kissing back lazily and sighing against your lips — he'd needed this more than he’d thought.
Bodhi is still working diligently, kissing every muscle of his stomach one by one, pulling down the waistband of Garrick’s boxers just enough to kiss each of his hipbones, brushing his nose along the defined ridges of muscle.
You guide Garrick back to sit against the wall, putting a pillow behind him to lean back on — you know his entire body must be aching right now. Maybe you’ll offer to give him a massage tomorrow night, after dinner; he could use a tension-reliever, and it’s a nice opportunity for you to admire his back muscles and rub your hands all over them.
“Thank you, baby.”
You hum in response, kissing at his neck softly and cuddling into his side, laying a hand on his chest, right over his heart. His pulse jumps as Bodhi’s hand wraps around his cock, gliding up and down slowly.
“What do you want us to do, Gare?” you ask softly, dropping the ‘sir’ title — you all know that this isn’t the time to get into all of that, not when you all should really be getting to sleep, but also because it’s been so long; you just want to be soft with him, gentle, to remind him how much you love him and make him feel nice and relaxed after that nearly twenty-hour day.
“You too tired to ride me, baby?”
You shake your head no, sitting up to straddle him. As you spread your legs, a thick glob of what can only be Bodhi’s cum drips out of you — landing on Garrick’s thigh.
Oh.
You burn with embarrassment, but Garrick doesn’t look grossed out at all — amused, rather. “No need for lube, I guess.”
Your jaw drops as you watch him bring a hand down to scoop it up with two fingers, using it to slick up his cock for you. Bodhi looks equally stunned, but also very turned on.
You recover from your shock quickly, shifting your hips down to help him guide himself into you. You’d been well-prepared, but there’s still a bit of discomfort as you start to sink down onto Garrick’s lap, your body working to accommodate the thickness of him.
“Easy, baby,” he soothes, muscled forearms settling under the backs of your thighs to support your weight and keep you from taking him deeper. “Don’t want you hurtin’ yourself.”
Your heart swells at the softness in his voice, another reminder of why you love him so much; he may look scary, but he’s really just a gentle giant. You dip your head down to kiss him, cradling his jaw with one hand and stroking your thumb over his cheek — he could use a shave come morning, but you’re secretly very eager to see what he’d look like with more than just a day’s worth of stubble.
Bodhi’s hand slips between your bodies, circling the pad of a finger over your clit. You make a soft, pleased sound into Garrick’s mouth, lifting your hips ever so slightly and lowering them slowly, bobbing up and down on the first few inches. He likes that, if the soft swear he lets out is any indication.
Bodhi continues the gentle movements, lips still smearing over the thick muscle of Garrick’s neck, down to his collarbone, kissing and nibbling and sucking at the pale skin. That’s definitely going to leave marks later, but you know Garrick doesn’t mind in the slightest. He always wears the hickies as proudly as he does the patches on his uniform, as a sign of achievement and a signal to anyone else that he’s spoken for — doubly spoken for.
Garrick moves his hands up to slip underneath your shirt, wanting to grope at your chest, and you take your chance; you sink all the way down until you’re sitting in his lap, your thighs pressed into his.
He nearly chokes, his fingers digging into the softness of your waist. “Fuck, baby,” he breathes, “are you okay?”
You hum in contentment, starting to rock your hips against his. “Never better.”
You’ve never taken him this deep before. It’s delicious, feeling his cock filling you completely and nudging against that special little spot with every bounce of your hips, the wet slide of your bodies against each other, aided by Bodhi’s spend that continues to leak out onto your thighs.
It feels and even sounds obscene, wet and messy, definitely going to require a change of sheets tomorrow, but it’s clear that everyone involved is absolutely loving it — Garrick especially.
“Gods,” he pants, “takin’ me so fucking deep, baby, so warm n’ wet n’ tight, can’t — can’t even think, s’so good…”
They say sleep deprivation can be equivalent to intoxication after a certain point; that it starts to cloud your mind and slur your words, make you feel all soft and hazy and dizzy, loose-lipped and borderline incoherent. He certainly feels inebriated right now, his head spinning as he realizes that his exhaustion is making every sensation more intense, dialing everything up to eleven.
You’ve never seen him like this before, so glassy-eyed and flushed and completely gone. It’s always been you and Bodhi under his spell, at his beck and call, whimpering incoherently while you’re held down by his strong hands and used as he sees fit — and you all love that, but this is just as good, if not better.
“We should have done this earlier,” Bodhi says teasingly, brushing a hand over the other boy’s stomach and admiring the way his abs muscles flex as he tenses and squirms underneath you.
Garrick gasps out an agreement, his hold on your hips tightening.
“Relax for us, baby,” Bodhi coaxes, bringing a hand up to guide the other boy’s head toward him. Garrick swallows, nodding obediently and letting Bodhi pull him into a soft kiss that deepens quickly, Garrick tugging Bodhi closer with one hand and making a soft, desperate noise against his lips.
You rub a hand up and down the muscle of his arm slowly, attempting to relax him, and his grip starts to loosen. “There we go,” you soothe. “Such a good boy.”
Garrick whimpers at the praise, the prettiest little sound you’ve ever heard him make — and you want to hear it again.
“Oh?” you ask, teasing. “You like being called a good boy, Gare? Like being told how pretty you are, how good you feel inside me?”
He pulls his lips away from Bodhi’s to answer you. “Yes,” he pants, flushed and out of breath — a definite sign that he’s almost there. Usually it takes a while longer for you to get him this close, but you suspect that he’s too tired to care, and that he’s enjoying being taken care of much more than he thought he would; he isn’t holding back anymore.
Bodhi takes his turn to coo praises at him. “You’ve been such a good boy for us, Gare, letting us take care of you… I know that this is new for you, but you’re doing so well.”
Another soft whimper, his breathing ragged and uneven.
You’re a little out of breath yourself, your thighs starting to ache from the exertion, but you’re determined to get him there, and your words definitely seem to be helping. “You have such a nice body, baby. So strong, so nice to look at, to touch… Feels so good, too. Love feeling full of this perfect cock.”
You grind your hips down a little harder, and Garrick gasps, his eyes rolling back. “So good,” he breathes, “fuck, baby, please don’t stop, need to — need to cum, please, s’so good…”
“Shh, sweet boy, it’s okay,” you soothe. “I’m not going to stop. You can cum when you’re ready. Just want you to feel good, okay?”
“Thank you, oh, fuck, cumming!” he gasps, gripping your waist and keeping you seated in his lap as he spills into you, thrusting his hips up into yours with a few lovely little moans. He pants into your neck, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug to keep you close.
You can feel his heart racing, his thighs trembling underneath yours — that must have been pretty intense. “You okay, baby?” you ask softly, bringing a hand up to play with the damp curls at the back of his neck.
“Uh-huh,” he breathes, “just a little… little dizzy...”
Bodhi shushes him quietly, pressing a few soft kisses to his bicep and laying his head against the boy’s shoulder, rubbing his back. “Deep breaths,” he coaxes, the way Garrick usually does for the two of you after he’s fucked you senseless like this.
“Did so good for us, Gare,” you praise, kissing the top of his head. “We love you so much, baby.”
“Love you too,” he mumbles into your shoulder, exhausted. His breaths have evened, his pulse slowing, but he still clings to you, keeping your body pressed to his.
You stay like that for a moment, just holding each other, letting him come down slowly. You press little kisses to his head every so often, rubbing your palms over his shoulders to release the tension there.
“Let's get you cleaned up and in bed, big guy,” Bodhi coaxes.
“We’re already in bed,” Garrick responds in a soft mumble, not wanting to get up. It’s comforting to know that he’s still cognizant enough to be a smartass.
You laugh. “C’mon, lovie. There’s only a few hours until formation.”
He whines softly, burying his face deeper into your neck -- knowing that as soon as he goes to sleep, it’ll be time to wake up and start another exhaustingly long day, and wanting to stay like this forever, soft and safe and free of the school’s expectations of him.
Bodhi has given up on getting him to shower, and instead holds out a pair of sweats. “You can be the middle spoon, and we can cuddle until breakfast,” he offers, “but you need sleep.”
Garrick sighs, knowing Bodhi is right. He loosens his grip enough for you to get up, and you regret it immediately upon feeling the wetness running down your leg, a mix of each of you. You wince, but Bodhi is quick to hand you a scrap of fabric from the drawer of Garrick’s nightstand for you to clean yourself up with.
All three of you are going to need showers in the morning, along with multiple cups of coffee at breakfast and an early night in, but none of you regret this in the slightest.
With a quick change of underwear from the overnight bags you and Bodhi had packed for your little sleepover, you all pile back into bed, with Garrick in the middle — your usual arrangement, since he takes up the most space, but also because you want to keep showing him how much you love him, that you’re there for him.
“Love you,” Garrick says through a yawn, settling under the covers. “M’sorry for neglecting you.”
“We love you too, Gare. And you didn’t neglect us. You were just busy. We understand,” Bodhi soothes.
“F’ that ever happens again, jus’ tie me to the headboard n’ have your way with me,” he mumbles.
You laugh. “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not, love.”
He doesn’t respond — he’s already fallen asleep, tucked safely between his partners in a soft, warm bed. You each press a kiss to his cheek, snuggling into his side.
“G’night,” you murmur.
“Night,” Bodhi replies, nearing sleep himself. “Love you.”
You reach across Garrick’s chest, intertwining your fingers. “Love you, too.”
#bodhi durran#garrick tavis#fourth wing#bodhi durran x reader#garrick tavis x reader#fourth wing x reader#mine#18+#smut
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Hi! I’m 23 but requesting anonymously because this is a similar situation I experienced and wished someone would have been there for me.
I was wondering if you would be interested in writing a Steddie x reader story where the reader recently lost her grandma who she lived with in a two bedroom apartment. It’s left the reader financially strapped and she posts an ad for a roommate. Steve and Eddie are looking for a place and sees the ad. Steve is a nurse and Eddie is a mechanic or masseuse (two extremes but I feel like Eddie is always a mechanic lol).
The reader is really withdrawn and struggling with grief because her grandma was all she had. She is working two jobs and not taking care of herself. She wears herself out and gets sick. She’s really resistant to letting anyone take care of her. And she doesn’t talk to Steve and Eddie much because she’s trying to hide her struggles and doesn’t want to bother them. And it’s an adjustment to living with other people. Steve and Eddie have a huge soft spot for the reader and want to take care of her.
There can be smut or no smut in this or if it would happen to turn into two or more parts! You’re a talented writer so I have no doubt you will write this beautifully!
A/N: It took me awhile to get to this because it struck a cord with me. I get this. I am this minus a Steve and Eddie.
I think I've mentioned it before but my father suddenly passed away 10 years ago and it destroyed me. I still deal with the aftermath of that to this day. Not only do I struggle with that grief but I struggle with how I was and have been treated which is why I am a big advocate on taking the time to feel what you feel and no matter what anyone says THERE IS NO TIME LIMIT ON GRIEF.
The doctor experience I write in this story happened to me and the chaos of that...I can't even... But yeah...more than anything I want anyone who's grieving a loved one to know, you are not alone, you are not broken, your feelings are valid, and I love you <3.
The title of this comes from "Guernica" by Brand New. I was thinking of this song when I got the request because the lead singer wrote it for his grandfather who was sick in the hospital.
P.S. I am more than willing to write another part to this. I wanted to focus on the emotional aspect more than a smutty aspect for this first part.
Warnings: Topic of Grief and loss of a family member, panic attack mentioned in slight detail, Steve and Eddie have an established relationship here.
"I submit no excuse
If this is what I have to do
I owe you every day I wake
If I could I would shrink myself
Sink through your skin to your blood cells
Remove whatever makes you hurt
But I am too weak to be your cure
Is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
I am the watch you always wear but you forget to wind."
“So, um, yeah the rent is $1300 including utilities and it’s due on the first of the month. You can leave it on the counter here and I can take it down to make the payment.”
Watching them go through her room was like being stabbed in the chest. When your grandmother passed, a part of you died with her and it killed you even more when you had to slowly begin removing things from her room to make space for a new roommate. Your grandma was your everything basically being a mother to you when everyone else disappeared. When she got sick it, it was no brainer to have her move in so you could look out for her with as much love and care as she had you growing up.
For four years, she fought her disease until heaven decided it was time for her to go home. After that you began to spiral and not just personally but within life. When did everything become so expensive? Even in your rent-controlled apartment, you could barely afford the bills because everything else around you escalated to the point where now you couldn’t even take out a small loan to get groceries because your credit was so fucked up.
You didn’t want to get a roommate and avoided the notion as long as possible but when it was becoming harder and harder to live day to day, you finally gave in.
You were surprised when a boy answered your ad you had placed in the paper but when he told you their story, you couldn’t help but sympathize.
“Yeah, my boyfriend and I are looking for a nice, safe place. The small town we were living in was already harassing him for the way he looks but when they found out we were together… I knew I needed to get us both out of there.”
“We can take it if you want. I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of everything.”, the pretty boy who introduced himself as Steve responded as he leaned against the wall next to you.
“I mean it’s no problem. I work a couple of jobs so I usually leave pretty early anyway.”
“Me to. Well, it’s more like me coming in early because I work overnights from time to time. I’m not sure if the hospital over here is the same but… yeah. What, um, what do you think, babe?”
The longhaired boy who told you his name was Eddie beamed widely your way.
“I love it. Are you sure we won’t be bothering you, sweetheart? We’re nice guys, we swear.”
“No. No bother.”
Both men glance towards each other at your sullen tone before Steve extended his hand towards you with an equal large but soft smile of his own.
“We’ll take it.”
***
You didn’t anticipate how hard it was going to be having someone in the apartment again let alone people that reminded you of her. Before she retired, your grandmother was a nurse and when the scent of hand sanitizer and hospital lingered on Steve’s admittedly beautiful hands, your mind shifted to the stories she would tell you about her late nights talking with patients in her care.
Through smell alone, you learned Eddie got a job as a mechanic at the shop down the street and the first night when the aroma of gasoline lingered you cried at the memories of being a little girl with your grandparents, sitting by your grandfather’s truck as he attempted to fix it for the 400th time.
Loneliness began to set in almost immediately after they moved in. They never actively displayed affection in front of you but there were moments when you were leaving for work and you’d pass by their open bedroom door to see them cuddled together. Sometimes at night when you would come home from your second job, you would hear Eddie talking to Steve over the phone while he was at work and he would giggle at something the man said on the other line before telling him how much he loved him.
You missed having someone care about you…
Your grandparents had always been there for you through everything; every breakup, rough patch in life, or just to have someone remind you that you were loved unconditionally…they were there.
When your grandmother lived with you, you laughed harder, smiled wider, and loved waking up in the morning. Now that all seemed so far away, so unattainable. You couldn’t ever picture yourself being happy like that again.
To avoid that pain, you ran around constantly. It’s not like you could stop anyway with how hard things got around you. Life moves on…you can’t stop just because you’re numb. You suffer through it just like everyone else.
“Y/N?”
At the sound of Eddie’s voice, you jumped shattering the glass in your hand.
“Fuck, I’m sorry—”
“No, no. That was my fault. You seemed lost in thought. Don’t move, I can clean this up here.”
Nodding, you stood still as you watched him run to grab a broom before your brain caught up with you.
“Wait! Wait, um, don’t…don’t throw away the glass. This was, um, someone in my family gave me this cup.”
“Oh, uh, ok. Well, I don’t see a lot of little pieces. I can try and fix it for you. Do you feel comfortable coming into our room?”
Silently, you headed in that direction, pausing in front of the bed as the metalhead shimmed around you to dig in the desk drawer by the window. Everything in the room was completely different. Where her bed with her yellow comforter used to be was now a bigger bed, higher off the ground with black sheets and blue pillowcases. Where her dresser used to be with the vanity that had photos taped to the mirror was now a much smaller 3 drawer shelf with a guitar hanging above it. On the nightstand, instead of medication and a photo of you with your grandparents, there was now a pack of cigarettes, empty beer cans, a photo of both men, and a book that was half read.
“Ok, I knew Steve had it around here somewhere. I’m clumsy as hell so he’s always fixing things I accidently break.”, Eddie mused as he sat on the floor and began to focus on his task. “So, um, how are you?”
You couldn’t help but breathily laugh at the awkward way he asked that making him smirk at the sound as you took a seat in front of him.
“I’m alright. I just have a lot going on, you know?”
“Yeah, you come and go a lot like Steve but he gets to sleep. What do you do if I may ask?”
“I’m actually a photographer for the paper.”
“Oooo paparazzi girl!” Eddie’s grin grows as his eyes take you in watching you genuinely laugh for the first time since they met you. “Is that why you come and go at weird hours?”
“Oh, no. When I’m not there, I have another job at the mall taking photos of like families and kids at Glamour Shots.”
“Yeah? Those shiny, glimmering photos? I keep trying to get Steve to take a couple of those with me but he gets adorably embarrassed.”
“How long have you two been together?”
“Geez, uh, almost 3 years now. Spent the first couple hiding our relationship because of our town and his parents, rich fuckers who think they control the moral high ground.”, he rolls his eyes. “A few months ago, he finally told them we were together and his parents kicked him out of his house. A couple weeks later, I got harassed at my job and that was the final straw. Steve packed our things and we drove out here.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“No reason for you to be, princess. You’ve been nothing but nice to us. Well, when we see you.”, he chuckles. “Steve gets worried sometimes that you push yourself too hard.”
“You don’t need to worry about me. I’m strong. I’ll be ok.”
“No one’s saying your weak, Y/N.”
“Good because I’m not!” You snap as silence falls over the room before Eddie displays the cup for you with his palm on the bottom.
“You may not want to use it for its purpose but keep it as a display.”
Without taking it from him, you rise to your feet and run to your room, slamming the door.
###########
Everything was loud.
Why is everything so loud?
You were running late for your second job and you couldn’t find the polo you wore for it. You felt disgusting, not having time to shower in what felt like an eternity and you were just so fucking exhausted. You couldn’t afford to lose this job nor calling in to rest. You had to make money. It’s what everyone else does.
Why is everything so loud?
As you opened your door, you were met with Eddie standing at the counter in the kitchen.
“Have, um, have you seen…”
“Y/N, are you alright?” Tears cloud your vision as you run your fingers through your hair and absently look around the apartment with your eyes. “BABE.”
You flinched at the metalhead’s loud but stern tone not even realizing that Steve was suddenly in front of you with his hands on your biceps.
“Y/N, what’s going on?”
“Let me go! I have…I have to…to go to work…”, you sobbed before your legs gave out and the world went black.
***
When your eyes finally fluttered open, it was pitch dark outside and your body felt incredibly drained. It felt like every bone in your body had become stiff as you carefully tried to sit up.
“Hey, no, no, no. Don’t move to quickly or we’ll lose you again.”, Steve cooed softly as he came up from behind you and sat down on his knees to help adjust you. “Good. Here, drink some of this but not too fast.”
When he handed you the bottle of water, you gladly sipped it as his concerned eyes scanned you over.
“How are you feeling?”
“Heavy.”
“I’m not surprised. When you push your body as hard as you have at some point it pushes back. Do you think you can eat something while we talk?”
When you nodded, a plate appeared beside you as Eddie handed it to his partner.
“I’m going to ask you some questions purely from a medical standpoint, ok? Do you feel comfortable if Ed stays? He had a bit of a panic attack to when we couldn’t wake you up.”
“That’s fine.”, you whisper. “Is that what happened? I panicked?”
“Um, kind of, honey. This kind of seems like a slow build so I would say anxiety attack. We know you work pretty much around the clock and you told me when I called that you were struggling with cash. Has anything else been going on?”
“Someone…that mattered to me…is gone. Died.”
Eddie sat on the couch next you and without thinking brushed some of your hair behind your ear so they could see your face better.
“I’m sorry. How long ago?”, the nurse continued to inquire.
“On the 18th it will be 8 months.”
“And you’ve been doing everything you have?! Y/N.”, the metalhead sighed as his boyfriend gave him a look of warning as if to say tread carefully. “Sweetheart, you should be taking it easy so you can grieve.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m supposed to be fine by now.”, you murmur as you shrug your shoulders. “After my grandmother died, I got 2 weeks paid leave for bereavement. Two weeks. Two weeks of fucking casseroles, sympathies, and people checking in. After that time, everyone began to slowly disappear and I went back to work but I never…I never felt whole. I didn’t understand why everyone else seemed fine while I was still felt like I was dying.”
“After two months, I went to a doctor and told them how I felt. Do you know what she said? ‘After 6 weeks, it’s no longer grief but depression.’ That shook me. I thought to myself ‘well shit. I guess there is a time limit on grieving and there must be something wrong with me because I can’t get better!’”
The tears begin to fall at a faster pace and you let them go.
“I still have to work, pay my bills, live my life… but no one ever walked me through how to do that. No one ever showed me how to continue existing without the person you love…without someone who meant the most to you… I wasn’t prepared to be left alone without her.”
Eddie presses your head to his chest as you sob, his arms squeezing you tightly as he whispered that you were ok. Sudden heat warmed your side as Steve leaned his head against your shoulder as he intertwined his fingers with yours while your body trembled against them.
This had been a long time coming and you allowed the pain to wash over you till you fell asleep in their arms.
***
This time when you opened your eyes, you were bundled up in a blanket with your head still against Eddie’s chest with one hand comfortingly rubbing your arm while the other held a book he was reading.
“What are you reading?”
Tilting his head, his gentle eyes take you in as he grins and closes the book to show you the cover.
The Vampire Lestat.
“I love vampires but Steve likes werewolves. Should have known he’d break my heart one day.”, he teased as the other boy comes around and places a soda with more food on the coffee table in front of you.
“They are big dog like animals. How can you not like them? Y/N, I want you to at least eat a little bit of this, ok? You need to refuel.”
Not wanting to leave the metalheads comfortable embrace, you whine as you sit up until the smell of the pasta hits your nostrils and you realize how hungry you actually are.
“Slow! Goodness.”, Steve chuckles as he takes a seat on floor after serving his partner and himself as well.
“It’s been so long since I’ve had a home cooked meal. Usually, I’m eating microwaved food or something I pick up on the way to and from work. This is delicious, Steve, thank you.”
The three of you casually talk allowing you to really get to the know the men you had been living with. Eddie loved music and had been playing guitar since he was a little boy. He and his uncle had been fixing up cars since he moved in with him after his father went to jail. Steve learned in high school he enjoyed helping people and after he graduated he went to nursing school.
“My dad gave me shit because I’m ‘settling’ and not becoming a doctor. I like what I do though. As a nurse I get more one on one with patients and make them feel cared for which as you noticed is hard in today’s society. Doctors seem to care more about the money and not the person.”
His eyes drink in your demeanor as you smile, agreeing with his words. Your entire energy seemed different since the first time they met you. You seemed to be relaxing a bit more and some of what he assumed was your normal personality began to shine through.
“What about you, honey? Eddie told me you’re a photographer.”
Silently, you unraveled the blanket you had been tangled in and bounced to your bedroom, returning with some photos that you placed on the coffee table in front of them.
“This man here proposed to this girlfriend by painting a mural on the side of an abandoned building that the city was going to tear down. The mayor called it graffiti and they tried arresting him for it.”
“Oh, wow. That’s gorgeous. I hope this guy is making a ton of money in like New York or something.”, the longhaired boy grins.
“This young lady saved her baby brother from a fire.”
“This are amazing, Y/N. You are extremely talented. “
“What was this story about?”, Steve asked as he held up a photo of an older woman smiling on the couch by a window watching the rain.
“That’s my grandma.”, you softly smile as you take it from his hands. “This was about a year before she… I remember we were talking about some trivial stuff and suddenly she turned to me and said ‘Life is beautiful. Even something as small as listening to the rain is never something you should take for granted.’”
“I like that.”, Eddie responded with a tender tone that made you feel safe. “She was right. I know it’s hard with all the bullshit going on in the world but… I think we do need to stop and take a look around, you know?”
“Y/N, honey, we hope you know that you don’t have to do everything yourself. We can help you. We have some money in savings if you need to take a break and—”
“No. No, I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You’re not asking, we’re offering.”, Steve insisted. “At least, quit your second job. You need a moment to breathe. We can help with any extra bills you may have until you really get back on your feet.”
Tilting forward, you kissed his cheek before leaning towards Eddie to do the same.
“Thank you…so much…”
################
Over the next week, you felt more motivated to do things you hadn’t wanted to do over the past 8 months. You did what Steve suggested and quit your job at the mall. You began moving around and leaving the apartment for fun things instead of work. You accompanied the boys to a movie at the theater and took them to the lake where you basked in the sunlight all day.
You took the time to eat healthier, home cooked meals even offering to make your roommates a meal every now and again. Sometimes when you knew Steve would be out all night, you left some leftovers in the refrigerator and wake up the next morning with a note on the counter thanking you with a big smiley face.
One morning, however, you were surprised with something different. When you opened your bedroom door to get some coffee, you noticed a box with a big red bow on the top and a piece of paper attached to the side.
“Y/N,
There’s no bottom to the box so all you need to do is lift. I was afraid if we put this in an actual box it may break. Steve said it would be ok but I reminded him he fixes people not objects : ).
Eddie’s been working on this for a while but we thought after how well you’ve been doing, we just wanted to show you how proud we are of you and how much we’ve enjoyed having you in our lives.
Eddie & Steve”
Carefully lifting the wrapped box and placing it aside, you picked up the glass you had dropped and Eddie had tried to fix. The blank material now had an image of your grandmother you had showed them illustrated on to it with her head turned towards the window. Instead of watching the rain, when she looked out the window there was a detailed drawing of you grinning with your fingers tangled in your hair as you were moving it behind your ear.
He had painted it with light colors, giving her an angelic glow that broke you as you began to cry.
Your feet scooted against the floor as you hurried towards their door and knocked on it a bit too enthusiastically causing it to fly open with a panicked look on the metalhead’s half asleep face.
“What!? What’s going on? Where’s the fire?!”
You tackled your arms around his neck, not even realizing he was only in boxers. From the bed, Steve saw what was in your hand, smirking as he fell back against the pillow and slung his arm over his eyes.
“Thank you for this. You have no idea how much this means to me.”, you whispered.
When he finally realized nothing was wrong, his arms settled around your waist.
“I know what it’s like to lose someone you love. You’re not alone, Y/N. You don’t have to carry it all by yourself, ok?” As you pull away and let him go, his hands cup your face as he dries your tears. “Now go back to bed, you fucking weirdo. It’s too early.”, he teases as he lightly pushes you away making you giggle as he turns back around and crawls into bed.
“May I—”
Before you can finish your sentence, he lifts up the covers and Steve pats the mattress between them. Once you climb in, the pretty boy lifts his arm and circles it around you to tug you closer to his side. When your head rests on his bare chest, your surprised at how warm and comfortable he feels against you, looping your arm around him as you nuzzle into his skin. Another set of arms wrap around your waist pressing you against Eddie’s equally comforting frame.
His steady breath hitting your shoulder mixed with the other man’s heartbeat lulls you into the heaviest sleep you hadn’t experienced in a long time.
#############
Steddie Asks
#steddie#eddie munson#stranger things#steve harrington#joseph quinn#fan fiction#eddie munson fluff#joe keery#steve harrington fluff#steddie x y/n#eddie fanfic#steddie ask#eddie munson angst#steddie fluff#steddie smut#steddie fanfiction#steddie fic#steve and eddie#steddie au#fan fic writing#tw grief#dealing with grief
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Hiii, I'm back to do regular pick-a-pile readings! However if you interested in booking a private reading please join my discord server! In todays reading I am working with Apollo to send the collective this message. Take what resonates and leave behind anything that doesn't. Thank you all 🩵 -ghost
PILE ONE
Crystal: Yellow Aventurine
Astrology: Leo, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Gemini
🧡💛🌻🍯🥮🥧🏺🔑🌟💫☀️🦂💰👘🧶🎃🤬🚼☣️📙🏮🏵️🥉🏑🍺🍹🍊🍋
Hello, pile one! I see you have been looking for your intuition. You have been searching high and low. Purchasing all manner of metaphysical assistance. You seem to think you aren’t powerful. You believe you are simple and small. My friend you are very mistaken. Your third eye is open and active. There are two thing about intuition that I had to learn that I will now teach you. The first thing is that you must trust yourself. Activating your intuition is only one step in the journey. The second thing is that you must be grounded to be able to use your intuition. This lesson I’m still learning. You must establish yourself to yourself to make any progress. I see you crave progress over everything else. Focus on who you are and focus on trusting the person you are. You have done good work so far. The journey is just a little different than what you expected. You can’t escape yourself in spirituality. Forgetting who you are is much more counter intuitive than you might believe.
PILE TWO
Crystal: Tigers Eye
Astrology: Pisces, Cancer, Taurus, Libra
💚🫛🥒🍀🐉🪲👒🪖🔫♻️🥗🥬🍃🦚🐍🐢🪀🧩⛰️🔋🪛✅📗🏡🚛🏄🏿♂️
Hi there, pile two! You have been looking for a battle to wage. You have had to fight a lot in your life. You have probably been fighting since you were a child. You fought so hard back then. You are blinded by the war you fought, my friend. You have aleady won your war. The enemy is defeated and yet you still look for the next flying fist to dodge. You cannot fight anymore. There is no one to battle. There is a new goal you must strive for. You have been such a strong soldier for a long time. Now that it is done you must rest. You must heal. You must clean your wounds and take the medicine required to get better. You have suffered enough. After war, when soldiers come home, it is understandable that they might not know how to come down from shellshock. They might have gotten physical or mental wounds that are in need of proper care and attention. It is time to learn to cope and learn how to fill you cup. I must reiterate, you fight is over. Your war is finished. You are safe. You have been grasping for safety while clinging to your violence. They cannot exist in tandum. Please sleep, my dear soldier. Please. Once you decide the war is over in your mind you will be able to finally relax. You will find things you enjoy. You will share peaceful moments with yourself again.
PILE THREE
Crystal: Black Tourmaline
Astrology: Aries, Capricorn, Virgo, Aquarius
❤️🩹🩶🏓🍉🦴🍚🍓🌹🐚🐁🐓🎒🧣⛑️💃🏼💋💯🗞️🔍💌📮🧲🪓⏰🚢🥁🎸⚾️🥡🥢🎂
Hi, pile three! Welcome to your reading. You have been carrying the weight of the world in your arms and I know you hate to admit it but you are tired. You are only one person. I understand you have needed to be independent. I understand you have been searching for help but my dear you have been refusing it at every opportunity. Your friends are here for you and you won’t open up. They are knocking at your door. They are asking to see you and love you. You seem to believe accepting their help makes you weak. Darling, that is not the case. You are human. You are not a machine and honestly even if you were machines need maintenance. Machines can’t always self-maintenance. You need help and you want it. Please accept it the next time it comes around. I see you might have some religious trauma or some kind of self-sacrificing wound. You are not a tool. You are not livestock. You are not alone. Humans are evolutionarily not solitary creatures. They need companionship. Humans are pack animals which means they need other humans. Every instance when a human is left completely alone usually the human goes insane. Talk about your hardships with your friends. Release some of what you are carrying on your shoulders. Let go of the mindset that you must sacrifice your mind or your body to be considered a good or successful human. You are already a good human without over-exerting yourself.
#tarot#tarot reading#free tarot reading#pick a crystal#pick a pile#tarot pick a card#pick a card#astrology#spirituality#spiritual awakening#spiritual growth#crystals#yellow aventurine#black tourmaline#tigers eye#tarot shadow work#shadow work#apollo
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༊*·˚ You drew Stars around my Scars !
alternatively , how they react to your scars ༊*·˚
Contains ʚɞ insecurities , comfort , fluff , reader getting emotional, established relationship
(A/n)༊*·˚ In case you ever feel insecure about your scars , don't be <3 Scars , no matter from what they were caused , show how strong you were in the situation. As someone who also has scars , it's normal to feel insecure about them sometimes but learn to accept them , they're part of who you are and who you have become — a strong person <3
༊*·˚ Shotaro
♡ When he first saw your scars , he didn't point it out because he knows that he shouldn't plus he didn't want to — if you wanted to tell him about your scars he'd gladly listen , but he didn't want to force you to talk about it just because he asked.
♡ but he did let you know that he saw them by small actions such as gently caressing your scars , leaving little kisses on them or just gentle rubbing his thumb across them while lovingly smiling at you.
༊*·˚ Eunseok
♡ When he first saw your scars , he just stared , a little perplexed as a thousands thoughts run through his mind. He snaps out of it though when he saw you shifting, feeling a little uncomfortable with his stare.
♡ He'd quickly apologies and pull you into his arms , as much as he wanted to know , he didn't ask from where you got those scars from. He'd reassure you and mumble soft apologies , kissing your forehand and telling you how proud he was of you and that you were his strong , pretty girl
༊*·˚ Sungchan
♡ Another one who was a little perplexed and didn't know what to do . Was it okay to ask? Would it be too much if he'd ask? But thankfully , you noticed his expression and chuckled a little — explaining that the scars were old and what had caused them.
♡ his heart would swell when you told him about it , he was happy that you trusted him enough to tell him about it as it could've been a touchy subject for you. Also someone who'd subconsciously caress your scars when the two of you were cuddling.
༊*·˚ Wonbin
♡ the first time he saw them was when the two of you were getting intimate for the first time. He noticed that you weren't undressing until the lights got turned off , which he had no issue with. But what really made him realize why was when his fingers grazed the bumpy skin, his fingers twitching a little at the feeling.
♡ He panicked a little when you started to feel insecure and mumbled little apologies , telling him that he didn't need to touch your skin if he felt disgusted by them which he quickly shook off. He asked you if this was the reason why you wanted the lights off to which you replied with a small "Yes" before he asked if he can turn them back on again. When you asked why , he replied by saying "So I can kiss each and every single one of them"
༊*·˚ Seunghan
♡ He found out about them while you were sleeping on top of him. Since you only wore his shirt which was huge on your frame , it had moved and revealed your skin while you were moving in your sleep.
♡ He just smiled solemnly and gently caressed them , kissing your forehead while you were sleeping but he didn't mention that he saw them when you woke up.
༊*·˚ Sohee
♡ He gasped when he first saw them. Not because he was disgusted or shocked , no no , in his opinion — your scars were cool! They showed how strong you were no matter what had caused them and he'd tell you that as soon as he saw them with that bright smile of his.
♡ He didn't want you to feel insecure about them so whenever you did , he would draw little stars or flowers on/around them. He even bought band aids with a cute print on them so you could cover them in case you felt really insecure about them.
༊*·˚ Anton
♡ He first saw them when the two of you were supposed to go swimming in his private swimming pool. You were gone for way too long for just getting changed in your swimsuit so he went to check up on you — just to see you standing in your swimsuit , crying.
♡ His heart stopped the moment he saw you crying so he immediately asked what was wrong to which you simply turned around. His eyes would roam around a little to see each scar but his eyes held nothing but love. He pulled you into his arms and reassured you , telling you that you could've just told him that you didn't want to swim and didn't had to force yourself like this. He'd kiss your forehead before kneeling down , kissing your scars softly and telling you that you were even more beautiful to him now — your flaws made you more beautiful in his eyes because it reminded him that you were also just a human , a strong one.
Tagging༊*·˚ @minhosimthings
#riize headcanons#riize imagines#riize scenarios#riize anton x reader#anton x reader#riize sohee x reader#sohee x reader#seunghan x reader#riize seunghan x reader#wonbin x reader#riize wonbin x reader#riize sungchan x reader#sungchan x reader#riize eunseok x reader#eunseok x reader#riize shotaro x reader#shotaro x reader#riize fluff#riize x reader
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What goes up, needs assistance coming down
For @steddiemicrofic "top" | 510 | G | no cw | established relationship | if you saw me post this earlier and delete it bc i pasted the wrong version, pretend you didn't | Ao3
Sometimes, when Eddie writes a particularly delicious twist in his campaign, he wonders how in hell he had repeated senior year two times.
But then this shit happens.
Because he's been in this exact situation before, and smart people are supposed to learn from their mistakes. Thankfully, Steve is supposed to get back from work any time now. Maybe he loves him too much to make fun of him. After Eddie bears the humiliation of calling out for him because there's no way he'll figure out Eddie's out here.
As soon as he hears the car pull in and the door slam closed, he yells out,
"Steve!"
The steps crunch on the gravel, rounding the house, and his worst nightmare comes true. Because he hears more than one pair of footsteps. Double humiliation it is.
"Eddie?"
Aaand that's Henderson. The last person he'd want to see right now.
"Hey, man. What's up?" he asks nonchalantly his favourite kid, who grins up at him.
"How about you tell me, huh?"
"Oh, because I'm on a tree?" Eddie scoffs at him. "Har har, Henderson, very clever."
His rescuer isn't looking very rescue-y either. He's just standing behind Dustin with a bemused expression, eyeing the ladder lying prone below the tree.
"Why?" is all he asks.
Eddie sighs and points to the coils of fairy lights he had dropped to the ground in his panic after the ladder fell.
"This so doesn't answer my question." Steve raises his eyebrows disapprovingly. "Henderson, put the groceries away, help yourself to the fridge. Your dads need to talk."
"Gross." Dustin makes a face but snatches the grocery bag from Steve. He turns back to Eddie while walking away. "Good luck!" He gives him a toothy grin. Eddie flips him off, but his eyes are focused on Steve, who's setting the ladder back up. Soon, they're at eye level, as Steve leans on the top of it.
"Why?" he asks again. "Why would you do that again?"
Eddie looks away, hoping Steve will postpone this interrogation until after his feet are back on the ground.
"I had this, okay? It's not as bad as the roof. If the ladder didn't fall—"
Suddenly, Steve's face appears in his periphery. His eyes are stern.
"You should have waited for me," he points out.
Eddie makes a face. Okay, here he goes.
"I wanted to surprise you. I saw how you liked the lights around the Wheelers' garden," he explains, hoping the heat over his cheeks is imaginary. Henderson was way too close for him to be humiliated like that.
Steve's face softens.
"Baby," he coos, leaning into his space.
"Please don't—"
Steve ignores him, landing a soft kiss on his lips.
"My sweet boy," he murmurs, and now Eddie's positive his face is red.
"Can you put me on the ground first, please?"
Steve gives him a boyish grin but helps him climb down the ladder without further teasing.
"Thank you—" he barely makes out before Steve's on him, peppering his face with kisses.
"The cutest metalhead in Indiana."
#steddie#stranger things#steddiemicrofic#steddie microfic may#steddie microfic#steddie ficlet#steddie fluff#eddie munson#steve harrington#mine#cj x steddiemicrofic
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𝔦𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔲𝔫 𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔲𝔰𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔢....
if the sun refused to shine…baby, would i still be ur lover?
a/n: my first angst, no judgement pls >.<
⋆.ೃ𐦍*:･⋆𐦍.ೃ࿔*:･
─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───
18+ !! MINORS DNI
─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───
cw: angst, troubled love, established relationship, mentions of past intimacy (sexual & emotional), slight cursing
tags ✮⋆˙ oneshot, angst, distantlover!zoro x y/n, gn!reader, falling out of love trope,
now playing: intro (end of the world) - ariana grande
“Do you love me?”
“What?”
“Do you love me like I love you?”
He couldn’t lie when he felt surprised hearing those words out of your mouth, “Yea, why?”
You sighed, “I’ve been thinking…we’ve been distant recently and it’s making me question our relationship.” You sat next to him as you laid back on the cushioned seat. The somber blue tint illuminating on both your faces as you guys sat alone in the aquarium room. It’s quiet.
He went silent for a minute before letting out a soft chuckle, “You’re pulling my leg, aren’t ya?”
“I’m not joking, Zoro.”
The way you said his name struck a nerve in his body. He wasn’t used to this type of confrontation, rather, he wasn’t used to feeling this type of way at all. He hated it. It was like his heart strings were tugging at him as if it purposely made him uncomfortable.
You huffed, “Five weeks…” You felt your lips quiver as you swallowed the lump in your throats. You wanted him to understand, “That’s how long it’s been since we’ve held a proper conversation, since you’ve kissed me on the lips, since you told me I love you.”
“Babe-“
“Don’t mess this up, please.”
His mouth went dry at your words. He has so many questions pooling in his head. Yet, he couldn’t find the right words to answer you. His mind went blank.
He choked on his words, “I guess I’ve just been really busy training.”
You looked up at him with saddened eyes, “Is that really it?”
Fuck. The realization hit him like a truck. He questioned his inner monologue, did he really love you? You’ve been together for a year now. It felt like forever ago when you first became a part of the crew, you automatically clicked with everyone with your bubbly personality and generosity. The first time he laid eyes on you, he couldn’t help but be drawn to your aura in a different sense. The way you walked, the way you talked, the way your eyes locked with his; It drove him nuts. You were just so alluring the swordsman couldn’t understand the feeling forming in his stomach. Was he nervous?
During those two years, his feelings only grew even more for you. Everything was all confusing. He was a swordsman for christ’s sake, he don’t have time for sappy love. Yet, you lingered in his mind like a treadmill. He wanted to pull on the emergency stop so badly, yet…he still kept running.
The day you asked him out, he couldn’t help but feel his heart explode into pieces. You were just so beautiful/handsome, he felt like he didn’t deserve you. The devil on his shoulder was practically yelling him to run away, yet his conscious was practically telling him to say yes. You both shared your first kisses that day.
“I love you.”
“and, I love you.”
The months turned into a year, you experienced everything together. Sure, there were moments were you both had alone time for yourselves. Pretty arguments turned into “make up and forgets.”
But, this time felt different.
Whenever you kissed his lips, his heart didn’t flutter like it used too. He stopped initiating sex even in times when he needed relief. It was like you just became a blur in his mind as he started feeling himself slip away from your embrace. He wanted to love you back…but he just couldn’t. Each day felt like his grasp was slipping away from you. He couldn’t. He couldn’t admit it.
“I’m tired. I’m tired of waiting, avoiding the truth, running in circles for you.”
“We’re 21, not 19 anymore…For fuck sake, Roronoa, I just want you to hear me like I hear you.” Your lips quivered as you choked back tears.
“No, [name], listen. I do love you, I just got caught up with bulking up I just unintentionally isolated myself.”
Slap
The sound of the hard contact of your hand to his face echoed before the sound of water bubbling in the tank continued.
“I’m- I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I did that.”
He rubbed the impacted area, “Heh, I guess I deserved that.”
Even in times like this, he had to still be a bit humorous…You hated it.
“The faster we talk about this, the faster we resolve this.”
He gulped, “If I tell you, you would hate me.”
“I will hate you more if you don’t tell me.
“…As you wish.”
It was taking everything for you to not tear up from anxiety.
“I feel as if our paths are just too different.”
You knew it. You fucking knew it.
“Was I not good enough for you? Was I lousy in bed? Did I do something to piss you off?” You spoke in a panicked tone as you held his hands.
He gently squeezed your hands, “No, [name]. I just…I just don’t feel anything for you….not anymore”
You felt tears fall down your cheek before wiping it. It was like the world stopped hearing those words. Deep down, you wanted to beg him to take you back…But all you could do was just lightly punching his chest as you sobbed your feelings out.
“I hate you, I hate you so much.”
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he sighed as you halted your light punches to his chest.
“So you don’t love me anymore…”
He gazed into your eyes with a gentle look, his voice had deepened, “Of course I love you, but just not the same way.”
You went silent as you decreased the pressure of your hands in his grasp, “You’re right…”
“We’re just on two different paths…”
You stroked his cheek with a smile, that same smile that was plastered on your face the moment you said your first I love you, the moment when you first stepped onto the Thousand Sunny’s. A smile that made him fall in love with you.
“I want to ask you...”
The room had become silent. Not even the ambience sound from the aquarium tanks could reach your ears. The sound of your heart pounding screaming in your ears as you coughed up your words.
“If the crew splits up permanently or if we move on…Hell, if we’re on the brink of death, old age or not,”
“Would I be the one on your mind?”
His eyes widened at your question. He felt as if his thoughts were running laps in his head.
He scoffed, “Of course, you were my first.”
You smiled, “Lemme ask you this again: Do you love me…like I love you?”
The knot in his stomach tightened as he contemplated his decision. No more kisses, no more dates, no more intimacy, no more i love you’s.
“Even if the sun refused to shine, I will love you forever and always.”
You wiped your wet tears and snot, “If the moon ever goes dark, I’ll love you back.”
You kissed his cheek before walking out the aquarium and headed to your cabin.
As he heard the door close, he couldn’t help but drop to his knees as tears fell onto the cold floor. For the first time, the swordsman felt vulnerable to his emotions and it was burning him deeply. He caressed the scar on his torso, before muttering curses to himself.
———
“Luffy, calm down! The food isn’t gonna run away, you know!” You snatched the plate from the hungry boy.
“Come on, [name]! It’s not my fault Sanji’s cooking is delicious!” He used his rubber powers to steal the plate from your hands and ran out the dining room with it.
You laughed at your captain’s actions when suddenly, you felt hands snake around your waist. As you turned around to see who was the culprit, you yelped as you felt soft lips touch yours.
“Ignore that idiot, my love. I’m surprised he doesn’t have diabetes yet.” He shot you a cheeky smile which caused your face to heat up.
“Sanji, I’m gonna dump you.”
“NOOOO MY SWEET [name]. I’LL GIVE YOU A THOUSAND KISSES IF THAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER,” He starts to cling onto your leg like a kid throwing a tantrum.
You laughed before kissing his cheek, “Oh don’t worry, baby, you can make it up tonight.” You wink at him jokingly.
Oh man, the mess you’re gonna have to clean up from the amount of blood he let out hearing that…
“Christ, how are ya’ll this loud at this hour,” the hungover swordsman yawned.
“It’s noon, mosshead,” sneered at him.
“Whatcha say, curly brow?!”
You facepalmed before slapping their faces to shut him up.
“This is getting old, guys,” you nodded your head in disapproval.
They both apologized before they went back to glaring at each other to which you gave up on.
———
As you finish cleaning up, you turn to face the green-haired swordsman, “Oh, and Zoro.”
He felt his heart stop for a moment before replying back to you, “Uh- yea?”
“Don’t drink too much, I don’t want you dying of alcohol suffering,” you jokingly giggled before taking the sake bottle from his hand.
He laughed before shooting you a smirk, “Trust, Il be fine.”
You smiled before the cook wrapped his arms around your shoulders, “Come, Mon Cherie, let’s get away from this evil ogre-”
“SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU CURLY BROW ASSHOLE-”
“Ooooookay this is our cue to leave,” you laugh awkwardly before pulling your blonde boyfriend out of the dining area.
Zoro felt his smile fade as he watched you look at your new boyfriend with loving eyes. The same eyes he would gaze upon when you both were still together.
He grabbed another bottle of sake from the cabinet before chugging it down like water. The thought and sight of you with another man, especially with one of his crew mates, was like getting stabbed with his own swords. Maybe those feelings didn’t go away like he said that night.
All he could do now was stare at the ceiling while swishing the alcoholic beverage in his hand. Maybe he shouldn’t have let you go like that he thought to himself.
Will I still be on your mind?
He chuckled to himself before finishing the remnants of the bottle, “Dumbass, if she’s moved on then…maybe it’s time I move on.”
Maybe there was another universe where we got married and had kids, maybe there was another time where I didn’t lose feelings for you.
Maybe there was another time where the sun did shine…
Maybe in another lifetime…
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Have you done a color/structure(?) analysis of Buck's coming out to Eddie scene? If you haven't, could you? I just love your other ones, and that one has been niggling at me, but I don't know if there's anything there.
Okay, this took me longer than I expected because I had a weird weekend but let's do it now oaksoaksasas
The first major thing about the scene is that it is a blue and yellow scene (I have a theory about the blue and yellow you can read here) because they are playing with the sun around Buck and Eddie a lot this season, the locker room, the basketball scene, the coming out scene, that new locker room still Tim shared, even the buckley diaz family scene in 707 so that's important no matter what they are actually trying to accomplish there, if it's a reference to the way Oliver keeps saying Buck is looking for light or if queer romance has its own color combo, it's a thing and I think that the way they keep adding blue and gold/yellow to buddie scenes this season means they are absolutely doing something with it, even more considering the will reveal is very explicitly blue and yellow and we all know that scene is a key scene for the 2 of them in terms of romance.
But like, even the labels of the beers they are drinking are blue with yellow detailing, so pretty much every aspect of the scene is in that color scheme. The beer is also interesting because of the beer they usually drink being yellow and that they focused a lot on last season, going as far as making a point of showing a scene where Eddie is turning the bottle so we can see the label in 613.
Two things that feel inconsequential but are almost definitely absolutely completely on purpose in the scene are the way the shade of blue Buck is wearing is the same shade as his eyes and the way Eddie's phone has a black phone case the phone itself is green.
So not only are we dealing with the blue and yellow they are establishing, but we also have blue and green aspects going on here, tho arguably very muted. (blue and green masterpost) but this is just a detail I wanted to point out aopskloaksa
Going back to the beers, I will be honest, I keep trying to find a pattern in the scenes where they open the bottle for each other. It seems like they don't open the bottle for each other when they are discussing a problem outside of their relationship with each other? Like, Buck opens the bottle for Eddie in the kitchen scene in 309, Eddie opens the bottle in 612, and those two scenes lead to them talking about their relationship in a sense. But they just hand the bottle closed to each other in 312 when discussing the skateboard incident, in 504 when discussing Chim leaving, and Buck does hand Eddie the bottle closed during the coming out scene which is ultimately not about their relationship, although, Buck does hand the bottle while it's open to Eddie in 613, but they don't show Buck opening said bottle so I kinda think there's something to be said about the action of opening the bottle for the other in scenes they are opening up to each other about each other.
Something major about the scene is also the framing and positioning of them in the scene. I made a framing meta with most of their major scene at some point during the hiatus, you can read it here, but something about the 2 of them is that they tend to be on the same level while talking about Eddie's problems, they are both sitting down (that's even exemplified in 705 with the gym scene) and they seem to have Buck sitting down and Eddie standing up when talking about Buck's, so Buck is physically looking up at Eddie. I have an admittedly confusing post about Buck and the looking up thing you can read here because I touch on emotional scenes for Buck that don't involve Eddie if you want more thoughts.
The whole looking up thing is interesting for many many reasons, but mainly because, one, Buck is a big guy and Oliver is the tallest person in the main cast, so he's usually the biggest person in the room, so having him sitting down is a way to make him have less power in the scene in a sense. There's also the way that Buck as a character likes being in high places, he sits at the counter, the chills on top of the firetruck, he sleeps in a loft, he likes being physically high.
But there's also the way the show tends to give Buck the high ground during emotional scenes. Both figuratively, like having him stand up before yelling at his parents in 404 or having him be the only one standing up when he tells the team about Daniel in 405, and literally, like in 316 when he's talking to Maddie about being the one who's always left behind and breaking up with Taylor in 518.
It's also interesting because Buck mostly looks up his love interests, there are exceptions to this, he has scenes looking up at Bobby even though most of their heart to hearts they tend to be on the same level, both standing up or both sitting down, but he looks up at Taylor and Abby and Ali and Eddie and I think that plays into the way Buck wants love to fix him, so he doesn't want balance, he wants answers. But this is a problem when you think about it. Because that creates an emotional imbalance between Buck and Eddie. It physically exemplifies the way Buck's admiration of Eddie clouds his judgment when it comes to Eddie. He expects Eddie to have the answers. He blindly trusts Eddie and in a romantic setting, that's bad. Buck can't really expect Eddie to be right all the time or just accept anything Eddie decides, because then their relationship is unbalanced, then Eddie is controlling it and a romantic relationship can't work in these circumstances.
But this scene actually breaks that pattern twice: Eddie is looking up at Buck while they are talking about Marisol and Buck actually sits down before telling Eddie it was a date.
This is huge. Monumental. Incredible. I have been waiting for this for SO LONG. Because Buck needs reassurance from Eddie here, but he is not looking at Eddie for guidance, he's looking at Eddie for acceptance. And that's what he's getting. Proof of Eddie's unconditional love. And Eddie needs Buck to just tell him how to fix it while being very irrational about the whole situation and Buck is being the voice of reason.
Also about the positioning in the frame, something media does to let people know the characters are not standing on the same side, to give that impression that they are in different places in the scene during a close-up is to place the characters on different sides of the frame, even in the beginning of the scene, they are on different sides. (Guide down the middle to help visualizing)
But when they are actually talking about it, they are both in the middle of the frame. Another scene they do this is the will reveal, during the will reveal they tend to both be in the middle of the frame. And that kinda gives this idea that they are seeing eye to eye, that they are on the same side. I have a whole meta explaining how they used this effect to show Eddie letting Buck in during his breakdown era, you can read that one here.
BUT, interestingly enough, Eddie actually leans away from the middle when they are talking about Buck dating Tommy besides the general concept that that means Buck is also into men, while Buck stays in the middle. That can absolutely represent a way for Eddie to distance himself from it in a sense, that while he is fine with Buck being bi, he's not all that fine with the concept of Buck actually dating Tommy even though he is encouraging Buck to go after him, but that's just a theory to back me and my Eddie fell first and has accepted he can't have Buck tendencies. I think that's also backed by the way Eddie is maintaining eye contact from the moment he realizes this is something important for Buck, but he does break that eye contact when Buck tells him he can't stop thinking about Tommy, almost like he needs a second to believe what he's about to say.
Another interesting thing is the way they had Eddie ready to leave and Buck doing his little ducked head Eddie smile while Eddie leaves, so Buck seems fine with the way the conversation went, before having Eddie turn back around to hug Buck.
He reaches the door, realizes he's forgetting something, and strides right back to demand a hug, which considering 703 when we have Buck stopping to thank Tommy then running after Eddie, and Eddie being about to run back to Marisol and a relationship he doesn't really want to be in, the way he stops in his tracks to go back to Buck, kinda poetic when you think about this way, I think.
I think there's a lot to dissect when it comes to the actual wording of the scene too. Eddie saying "this doesn't change a thing between us" is very on purpose, if Eddie had said anything instead of a thing, it would have had a different effect. Not changing a thing when, one, we all know it will change it because buddie is coming, and two, even if we didn't know buddie is coming, this has the potential to fundamentally change the nature of their relationship eventually and the show loves to prove Eddie specifically wrong, but even then, would adding romance actually be changing anything between them when they are already life partners? This fundamentally changes them but also doesn't change them at all. Also the way Buck says "that's a relief" sounds almost as if he was expecting Eddie to say something else.
Also, love the way we got another roundabout way for Eddie to say he loves Buck but this time he actually said the word love "he'll love you like we all do" thank you, Eddie, for finally using the word.
Also love the way Buck is just taking deep breaths through the conversation because this was something that was stressing him out and it going well makes him breathe easier because he needs Eddie's acceptance in this.
I think these are all my thoughts on this scene, at least is all I can think about right now, so, as always, if you read this I love you 💜
#911#911 spoilers#911 meta#i really need a tag for asks#anon 😌#sorry this took so long i legit started to collect things to make this when you sent the ask#i was just all over the place over the weekend to actually sit down and write this#but yeah#these are the thoughts#buddie#buddie thoughts
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Rhapsody - Astarion x GN!Reader one-shot
You and Astarion are ready to embark on a new journey together. You begin by shedding a painful piece of his past.
A/N: I'm brand new to hobby writing, and this is my first ever fic! This was based on something I actually did with my Tav and Astarion in-game.
tags/warnings: sfw, established relationship, gender neutral!reader, nondescript reader, tavstarion (reader is tav), kissing, in-game spoilers, angst, hurt/comfort, brief mentions of Cazador-related trauma, feelings, fluff.
Word count: ~2000
It's a quiet early evening in the Elfsong tavern. The private room you share with your lover is warm, windows shuttered and curtains drawn. As you entered the room, you froze, stopping to admire the sight before you. Astarion was resting in the comfort of your shared bed. Trancing, to be precise. He hadn't been trancing these past few days, and the sight of your silver-haired love resting peacefully filled you with relief. Slowly, you peel off your boots and make your way over to your resting vampire. Your hands and knees sank into the plush of the bed cautiously in an attempt to avoid disturbing his trance. He was roused from it easily. Eventually, you managed to settle your head on the pillow, simply observing him in a rare moment of peace. He lay unnaturally still, chest unmoving, eyelashes resting delicately where his lovely dark circles ran under his eyes. Hair tousled, collar bones just peaking out of where the top buttons of his shirt clasped together. His face was calm, with no trace of tension he usually had during his night terrors. You smiled. Eventually, your lids grew heavy.
It had been only a week since you and your companions had destroyed the world-ending threat of the mindflayer Grand Design. Your little group of unlikely friends were declared Heroes of the Gate. You should be feeling triumphant, but your victory had been bittersweet. Despite taking pride in the fact he had been one of its saviors, Baulder's Gate would always remain host to Astarion's worst memories. Just returning to the city alone was overwhelming for him: facing his old stalking grounds, his siblings, Cazador. Your relationship had only recently evolved into something more after his confession in the Shadow-Cursed Lands. You knew this would be difficult and messy for him, but you were already hopelessly devoted to this beautiful broken man who was finally trusting you with his heart, wholly and freely.
So you took his heart in your hands and held it gently through all his anxieties and fears. Through the sleepless nights, the sobbing, the flashbacks, and phantom pains. All of which only increased as his confrontation with Cazador drew closer, and the promise of power and security that came with ritual became more and more tempting to him. You feared dearly that you were losing him and that your love and pleas for him to see reason wouldn't be enough to stop him. The fear wound itself around you like a bramble, the heartache gnawing away at you daily.
In the end, your worst fears did not come to pass. He rejected the profane power of the ritual in return for freedom with you. In that bloody moment when Astarion finally ended Cazador, you were in awe of him. His glorious spirit and strength. You allowed him to let out over 200 years of grief and rage. Watched closely as he came back to himself. Helped him back to the Elfsong to clean him up and tend to his wounds. Later on that night, after things had settle and he was in the aftermath of his victory, you had asked him what he wanted now that he was free. "You," he had answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It was you that he wanted.
He had taken you to the very soil where his two hundred years of torment had begun and made love to you in that very place as a declaration of his new life and freedom. He cleared away every painful thorn of doubt and fear covering your heart, much like he had cleared the vines growing over his tombstone with his own two hands. The beginning of a new life with you. Sadly, the two of you hardly had time to properly celebrate Cazador's death before returning immediately to securing new allies and calculating battle strategies against Orin, Gortash and finally the Netherbrain's forces themselves. It had all been a whirlwind in which neither you hardly had any time to truly relish in Astarion's new liberation.
You would never forget that horrifying moment the sun had turned on him. It's once gentle warmth that had given him so much comfort on your journey now becoming a burning, searing light. When you found him shortly after, hidden behind some crates, he was still scarred from the light. His face and hands were ashened, pieces of what were once his flesh practically flaking off in cinders. He was panicking, and you tried your best to stay calm for him. You offered him your wrist, reminding him he needed blood to heal. It only seemed to further distraught him. He was just as furious as you expected him to be and more so. Furious that after everything he went through, he was being forced back into the shadows again. Furious at you for pitying him. Furious at Cazador. But most of all, he was furious at himself for having dared to have hoped again. For thinking that just because he had been a very good boy and helped to save the world that the gods or fate or anyone would take pity on him and grant him this one thing. But no.
He sat there on the ground, knees drawn up to his chest. He had yelled so much about how foolish he had been to expect any outcome other than this, you half-expected his voice to give out. Eventually, he went quiet for a few long minutes before looking up at you, his beautiful red eyes full of sorrow. He tried to smile at you, but it broke off into a scoff.
"I'm never going to see you in the sunlight again."
He let out a long laugh full of bitterness before pressing his face back into his knees and breaking into a sob. It was then that you closed the gap between you two, holding him as wept. In that moment, you wanted nothing more than to take him by the shoulders and swear a paladin's oath to him personally that he WOULD walk in the sun again. That you were making it your life's mission. But you knew that wouldn't help him now. It wouldn't lessen the sting. It wouldn't soften the blow. Right now, he needed to mourn, and so mourn you let him.
You held him there and let him weep in your arms. When you offered him your blood again, he finally accepted, drinking in your healing essence and regenerating the scorched skin and flesh. You caressed the newly healed skin softly, kissing it with tenderness and reassuring him that he looked good as new. Later on that same evening, after you managed to make it back to Elfsong with him and were together in bed, he took your hand in his.
"I want to apologize, darling," You were confused, but he continued. "I acted abhorrent to you in a moment of weakness. I was so... angry about what I had lost. I was blind to what I still had in front of me."
He cupped your face, stroking the apple of your cheek with his thumb. Your sweet vampire. You took his hand and kissed his knuckles one by one. You reassured him that he had nothing to apologize for. The sun was one of the few pleasantries from his mortality that he could relish in again while tadpoled. The caress of its rays had become synonymous with freedom itself for him. And with the new love between you two. To have that ripped away would make anyone angry.
It was then that you told him that you WOULD help him find a way to walk in sunlight again. He had been surprised to hear you say so, as if he had expected you to write it off entirely as an impossibility, as he already had. But your words seemed to spark a new sense of hope in him. It was what he said next that took you off guard.
"That is...if this is what you want?" Your heart dropped. Surely he didn't still doubt how you felt about him? "I can understand if you would want to part ways..." Even as he says it, his eyes momentarily drop to the floor, and he sways a bit uneasily.
He is still always expecting the worst. Anticipating more grief. You took his hands gently into yours, telling him that if you thinks you're seriously going to break up with him now after everything you two have been through together, then he's going to have to start being a LOT more annoying. Because he isn't getting rid of you any time soon.
The next several days would be spent together, processing everything you had gone through. Your companions had all gone their seperate ways fairly quickly after a hasty celebration: Wyll and Karlach to Avernus, Lae'zel to war against Vlaakith, Gale to return the Crown to Mystra, Shadowheart with her parents and Halsin with his foundlings. After only a few days, it just you and Astarion left in the city. You had stayed by his side throughout this time, only ever leaving to get food or check on the acquaintances you had made in the city. But you were both growing restless. He appreciated your presence, but you could tell the time was coming for the both of you to move on from this place and make a new adventure for yourselves together.
You hadn't even realized you had fallen asleep until a few hours had passed. As you open your eyes, you see your pale elf has moved from the bed. He's seated on the floor, in front of the chest full of the shared things the two of you have gathered along your journey. You slide off the bed, and he turns his head to smile at you. "There you are," his eyes were a soft shade of carnelian in the warm lamp light. You came to sit by him. He seems concentrated on whatever he's holding. You touch his shoulder and look to see what he's examining. A dagger. Not just any dagger but one that made your blood run nearly as cold as Astarion's. Rhapsody. The dagger Cazador had used to scar his back, and the one which would ultimately end his wretched existence. Nineteen times. Astarion had stabbed Cazador nineteen times. You had counted each stab. Presently, he was turning the blade in his hand with a contemplative expression.
"Hideous, isn't it?" He scoffs. You noted he was taking care to only touch the dagger's ornate hilt and pommel, avoiding touching the actual blade at all.
"Is it..?" You stared at the twin design of the twisting gnarled metal.
"Silver? Naturally. How else is one supposed to permanently scar a vampire?"
You bit back the sympathetic words that were lingering on your tongue, knowing he wouldn't want to hear them now.
"Pretty effective at killing vampires as well, I'd say." You quipped gently. Astarion hummed in response, but his expression remained contemplative.
"Yes. I suppose it might be somewhat useful if we ever get on the wrong side of another vampire," he mused. You lean in closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder as you pondered the dagger. "True. Could also be useful if Petras ever decides to come around and bother us."
You're almost startled as he throws his head back and barks out a loud laugh. He sets the dagger down as it's obviously lost his attention for the moment. "Darling!" He exclaims. "You were the one who convinced me to save the poor wretch! Twice, in fact! Only to want him dead now? I mean, it's understandable, but clearly, I'm having a bad influence on you."
You couldn't help but smile back. This was the most you had seen him smile or laugh since losing the sun. His laughter was so light and airy it made your heart burst. "Yes, you are such a very bad influence on me, Astarion."
You crawled over to him, eyes locked. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, and his gaze softens as you asked permission to go further. He answers by giving you a series of playful kisses leading along your jaw from your earlob to your lips. He locks on those lips and deepens his kiss, going slow and taking his time. A deep, passionate kiss. Your hands find their way into his curls, and they twine their way around your fingers loosely. He sighs into the kiss, whole body relaxing into you. When you pull apart, he's smiling, a touch of melancholy still lingering on his features.
"I saw you in my reverie," he says unexpectedly. You listen to him intently as he continues. "We were leaving the Shadow-Cursed Lands after Shar's curse had been lifted. I hadn't seen the sun in weeks, and then there you were, bathed in its light. I hadn't realized until that moment how beautiful you were in sunlight." He smiles sadly and kisses your hand.
You give his hand a gentle squeeze and look him in the eye. "And it's a sight you will see again one day, my love. I promise you." Your arms come around him and hold him close, stroking his hair and simply letting him feel. After a few minutes, he seems to come back to you. "I want to leave this stupid city already," he says plainly. You chuckle and pull away from him. "Me too, my love. We can leave as soon as tomorrow if you'd like."
Astarion's gazes at your travel chest again. He takes out the dagger again, looking at this time with disgust. "And I want to get rid of... this thing," he says with bile in his voice. "It's hideous, just like everything else Cazador ever commissioned. All that damn wealth, and I swear it's like he challenged himself to own the ugliest pieces of art he could." He huffed and shook his head. "I want to throw this damn thing away." An idea came to you. Looking towards the clock, you note there's still a few hours left before sunrise. "Would you like to get rid of it now?" You ask him, careful to only present it as an option. He's still getting used to making big decisions, and you don't want to pressure him. He looks at you. "Gods, yes."
The two of you head out into the warm night air of the city, and Astarion's nose almost immediately wrinkles in offense. "Gods, how have they still not managed to fully get rid of that rotting squid smell? I thought there were clean-up and recovery efforts underway." You roll your eyes. "There have been clean-up and recovery efforts underway, silly. They've gotten rid of all the Mindflayer corpses already. Your nose is just sensitive." Cloaked in night, the many little homes making up the vast reaches of the Outter City light up on the horizon before you. You walk together and tell him all about the acquaintances you've made in the city and how they had been faring after the chaos of the battle.
Eventually, you make your way to your destination: the docks of Baulder's Gate where you had all pulled yourselves ashore after crash-landing the Netherbrain into the sea. Astarion slows down as you walk along the dock. The last time he was running for his life, burning up in the sun. You hoped returning here with him to do this will make for a proper end to your illithid odyssey. At you stop at the dock's end, you take Astarion's hand in yours. You say nothing, waiting on him to make the next move.
He sighs and takes out Rhapsody, giving it a final look. For a moment, you wonder if he might hesitate. He stares at the blade intensely, holding it as if its weight were far greater than it physically was. Two centuries of terror. Without any further warning or fanfare, the dagger is airborne. For a split second, you can just barely make out a tiny glint of moonlight reflecting off the blade as it flew through the air. With a small splash, it's gone forever. Astarion lets out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding in. "You monster!" You exclaimed with mock horror. "You just murdered some poor innocent fish!"
Astarion rolls his eyes. "Maybe the Hero of the Gate should go and rescue the poor thing." He grabs you around your waist, his newfound vampiric strength catching you off-guard. He spins you around as if he means to literally throw you off the dock, and while you're fairly certain he's joking, you panic nonetheless. You let out a high-pitched "ASTARION!" that practically comes out as a shriek.
He's giggling like a madman as he sets you down, holding your shoulders for a moment to steady you. "You're lucky I love you as much as I do, you know," you mutter as he continues to laugh at how easily he can tease you. "You're adorable when you pretend to be annoyed with me," he says. The two of you sit on the dock together for a long while, holding hands and simply taking in the starlight dancing on the water. "There's something else I wanted to discard as well, actually." He reaches into his pocket and produces two rings that you recognize as the twin Szarr family rings you had used to unlock your way through Cazador's mansion.
Astarion contenplates the rings in his palm. "You know I..." the words catch in his throat, seemingly paralyzed. You wait for him to continue, and after a few moments, he shakes his head, a smile barely perceptible.
"It's nothing, my dear. You know Cazador really did have the most hideous taste in things, including jewelry. Can you imagine wearing these? Ugh." You take one of the rings and examine it. "Hmm. Not my style, I'll be honest."
"That's because you're not blind, darling." He stands up and prepares to throw it.
"Together?"
"Together."
#bg3#baulders gate 3#astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion x reader#astarion x tav#tavstarion#astarion fanfic#astarion one shot#bg3 fanfiction#bg3 fanfic
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𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: mystreet vylad x fem!reader
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: you’ve jokingly given vylad small flowers since you’ve known him, but as newly weds he surprises you with a leather bound journal, the scent of flowers pressed into the pages.
𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: tooth-rotting fluff, vylad actually being sickeningly romantic, established relationship, vylad and reader are married
𝐂𝐖: none
𝐀/𝐍: vylad the man that you are
𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
“where are you going?” you ask, turning to your husband as he leaves your side from the swinging daybed, his feet padding across the back patio to the door.
“don’t worry, i’ll be back in a second. i just have something i want to show you.”
“okay.”
you wrap the knitted blanket around your body, the apple cider in your cup still steaming as it keeps your cold hands warm. your wedding with vylad couldn’t have been set for a more perfect time of year. it was at the prime time of autumn, when the leaves had all turned into beautiful shades of red to yellow, yet hadn’t begun to fall to the ground. it was now two weeks later, and the both of you had officially settled into your new home.
the evening air was chilly, rustling and carrying leaves across the ground and invoking more evening coos from the last waking birds of the day. you’re not sure what could make you feel more at peace and utterly happy in this moment, yet the stunning man you married never ceases to give you more reasons.
he’s soon snuggled back next to you, placing a thick, tied, leather-bound journal in your hands with an eager smile. for a moment you see that eager young boy you had met so long ago, round cheeks squishing against those beautiful green eyes.
“what is this?” you ask, gingerly taking the book in your hands and smelling a faint whiff of dried flowers from between the worn pages.
he holds your mug for you, cheekily taking a sip before nodding down at the journal.
“just take a look.”
you stare at him in awe for a moment, before turning your attention down to his gift. unbinding the tweed rope that kept the journal from flopping open, you crack open the worn leather to the first page.
a small pressed dandelion is preserved under a cleanly placed sheet of clear tape, displayed under a small entry written in vylad’s elegant writing.
thursday, 8/13
i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i’ve always been a quiet person, but when i’m with her i’m not quiet out of choice. how can i feel so comfortable and happy around someone yet be so nervous?
she gave me this flower today, with the most beautiful smile i’ve ever seen on her face as she told me to cheer up. she’s as sweet as ever.
your head whips back to your husband, who merely smiles and presses a soft kiss against your cheek. he rests his head against your shoulder, a contented sigh leaving his lips as you turn to the next page. then the next. then the next.
each page was about you, from simply fawning over every detail of how beautiful he found you, to describing the days that you had spent together. you remember starting to give vylad flowers as a cute inside joke between the two of you–but then it grew to simply be a habit of expressing your love for him.
while he had given you flowers too, you hadn’t taken the time to neatly press each one into a journal, writing it down to engrave each occasion into your memory like he did.
the sweet scent of the dried flowers wafts into your face with every crinkle of the next page turning, but you don’t think they’re the culprit for the dizzying surge you feel in your throat.
“vylad…” tears prick your eyes, an overwhelming feeling clouding swelling your heart in your chest.
“just keep reading, love.”
saturday, 2/5
she wouldn’t stop apologizing, saying she couldn’t afford a “real” gift for me on my birthday. she laughed and gave me a flower instead, saying she’d make up for it in the future. how do i tell her this was the best thing she could’ve given me, that her presence is the greatest gift that i cherish?
you remember that day. you were both freshly young adults, and while trying to stabilize yourself in this world you struggled to get the funds to spare for anyone but yourself. you felt so guilty that you couldn’t get one of your closest friends something nice for his birthday, but you can’t forget the bright smile you love so much when you had given him a singular flower instead.
he had insisted it was the best gift he had gotten yet, and while you had shaken your head disbelievingly at the time, you’re starting to realize he may have been telling the truth.
friday, 6/14
i gathered the courage to ask her to be mine today. i was the one who gave her a bouquet this time, and yet she insisted on giving me back the singular rose that was in the entire selection. her soul is sweeter and lovelier than any of the flowers i could give her. i’m so lucky.
more pages. more entries. you read every one like they were sacred artifacts. like they were the answer to why you should take your next breath.
small pictures of you and him. and so many flowers. had you really given him this many? you suppose you did. always running off into fields and tripping over fences anytime you saw one, bringing it back to him with a stupid goofy grin. you always remember he’d slip it carefully into his pocket or bag, but you assumed it was just him being too kind-hearted to toss them away in front of you.
wednesday, 3/24
we went to that beautiful field, the one that blooms with tons of different kinds of flowers during spring. of course she was so excited, my sweet girl. we made each other flower crowns and rings, and after slipping on the flower ring on her ring finger i pulled out the real one i bought a couple months ago. i was so nervous, i thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. she said yes, though, tackling me into the grass and accidentally squishing our flower crowns underneath us. i don’t think that really mattered to her anymore though. i’m the happiest man alive.
saturday, 9/22
she’s so beautiful. i thought i might be able to stop myself from crying, but i knew it was over when i saw her walking down the aisle. i stole a flower from her bridal bouquet, but we’re preserving the rest of it and i don’t think she’ll be too upset. i love you, my sweet flower.
underneath it was one of the flowers from the theme of your wedding, it’s white petals only just beginning to fade in its liveliness under it’s neat confines. scribbled underneath it is one more line of writing, vylad’s cursive scribbles once again beautifully decorating the page.
your beauty is everlasting, the flowers you gave me could never compare. my love for you is forever and eternal. it will out live any petal this earth can produce.
tears stream down your face, and once you gently set the journal shit next to you, your arms are tightly wrapped around vylad, who startles at the sudden movement as the swinging daybed jolts with your movements.
“woah,” he laughs, lifting away the cup of cider from spilling on either of you as his other hand pulls you to him. “careful, love.”
“i love you.” your voice is thick, throat tight as you cry into his shoulder.
“i love you too, my beautiful flower,” he laughs, finally finding a place to set down the cup and earnestly pulling you snuggle into his lap. “you know, the goal was not to make you cry.”
“how could you think that i wouldn’t?”
“well, i cried when i completed the last page, so i guess we’re even.”
you laugh, melting against him as he presses sweet kisses along your forehead and cheeks, wiping away the tears from under your eyes.
“i guess you liked it, then?” he laughs, and you erupt in giggles again.
you didn’t just like it, you loved it enough to dedicate a whole shelf in your house to neatly display the thick journal, right next to the framed resin preservation of your wedding bouquet.
©starhvney, 2024. please do not steal, copy, or repost my works as your own.
#aphmau mystreet#mystreet x reader#aphmau#mystreet#x reader#vylad ro'meave#aphmau vylad#mystreet vylad#vylad x reader#mystreet vylad x reader#vylad ro'meave x reader
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Hi, yes I'm here for the parenting differences/conflicts between established Buck and Eddie, pretty pls.
ok so the way i see it, you have the confluence of two pretty big shifts in the Buckley-Diaz family dynamic: one is Buck and Eddie starting a romantic relationship and the other is Chris becoming a teenager/starting high school.
I feel like the fact that these two things are happening around the same time (in my version of when Buddie get together, which is like s8 or soon thereafter) creates some excellent story fodder. We've already seen how Chris growing up/becoming a teenager has generated some new conflicts for them as a family in 7x01. A kid growing up and becoming a teenager means:
having to figure out and set new boundaries and ENFORCE those boundaries against the potential of Teenage Rebellion
greater independence which means more possible ways for them to fuck up and get into potentially bad or dangerous Situations
MUCH more complex processing of interpersonal conflict and emotion (and we know Christopher in particular has a LOT of things he needs to process!)
All of this is completely uncharted territory for all three of them and I could see this leading to some fun conflict in a number of different ways!
(readmore because this got long again lmao)
Like first maybe Chris does some typical teenager exploration and like, idk, tries alcohol for the first time. Eddie finds out and decides to handle it in one way, and Buck like actually disagrees with the way he wants to handle it but doesn't say anything because, right like, Eddie's Chris's dad he's not going to overstep. Then the situation escalates because maybe Eddie's tactic DOESN'T work and now Buck has to like gently bring up a different tactic and Eddie's like why didn't you say this sooner and Buck is basically like, well I didn't want to overstep? And they have to have an explicit conversation about like what Buck's parenting role actually is now that he and Eddie are together and Eddie is like, I want you to actually BE my partner in this like you're NOT just some new person trying to step into the role of parent, you've known chris since he was seven and I trust your judgement about this stuff. I WANT you to tell me when you have a different opinion, like I WANT this to be an equal partnership where we collaborate.
Or, maybe as part of this or maybe not, Chris opens up to Buck about something that's going on with him that he hasn't told his dad, because sometimes it IS easier to talk about stuff with someone who's not your dad (I know we're all like "Buck is Chris's parent" but like he's not ACTUALLY Chris's dad) and then Buck has to navigate like, does he need to keep Chris's confidence or does he need to go directly to Eddie with this? Like what's actually the right thing to do in the situation? (Also Buck HATES keeping things from Eddie so like, that would be tough for him too).
Or maybe there's a situation where Buck is being overprotective of Chris and Chris, being a teenager, actually gets annoyed with him about it and they have a fight. We've never seen Chris and Buck have real conflict and I think it would be a great opportunity for them to move into something that is a little closer to a parent-child relationship where Buck has to occasionally actually put his foot down with Chris and Chris has to actually express anger/negative emotion toward him.
I could definitely see Buck and Eddie both going to Bobby throughout navigating this, because not only is Bobby like the most Dad guy ever but he also had to figure out how to navigate parenting step-children. But of course Bobby's experience of that was very different, because he didn't know Athena's children before he started seeing her, whereas Buck and Chris have all this history completely independent of Buck and Eddie's romantic relationship.
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fractured - b.d.
Bodhi Durran x reader
You break your arm, but Nolon isn't available to mend it. Bodhi takes care of you in the meantime. [request]
words: 1.1k
🏷: no book spoilers. she/her reader in an established relationship with Bodhi. mentions of injury (broken arm) but no blood and no description of how it happened. just some fluff of Bo taking care of you.
Bodhi is out of his seat as soon as he sees you exit the exam room, looking a little worse for wear -- your arm is in a sling, the bridge of your nose split, and you’re walking slowly, like your legs are sore.
“There you are,” he breathes. “Xaden said you were here, but nobody would tell me anything. What happened?”
“I fractured my arm in two places,” you explain, “But Nolon is busy, so until he’s done with whatever else he has going on, I have to heal the old fashioned way.”
You leave out the details of how it happened, and hope that he won’t ask. He doesn’t -- he just takes your bag from your ‘good arm’, slinging it over his shoulder before you can protest and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”
You give him a pained smile, letting him lead you back across the bridge to the rider’s quadrant, where everyone is sat down for dinner, in the middle of a spirited conversation. You slip into your normal seat, thankful that nobody seems to notice your condition or make a scene -- until they do.
“What’s with the sling?” Imogen asks, raising an eyebrow.
Every head at the table turns toward you. Great.
“Nolon was unavailable,” you answer in a tone that does not invite any more questions -- that seems to be good enough for them, but you still get a few worried glances and pitying looks from your friends in response.
You poke at your food, attempting to cut it with the side of your fork and failing -- it isn’t sharp enough. You set the utensil down, giving up; you aren’t that hungry, anyway, not after the painkiller the healers had given you, which isn’t doing anything except make you nauseous. You really hope that Nolon will be back tomorrow, because living like this is going to suck.
Bodhi notices your dilemma and slides your plate toward him, wordlessly taking your knife and fork and cutting everything into bite-sized pieces for you before he gives it back.
You thank him quietly, managing to eat half of it -- better than nothing, you suppose. Maybe you’ll feel better at breakfast.
He’s sitting on your right, your uninjured side, and he keeps you close to him all through dinner, tucked into his side.
When everyone is finished, he picks up your bag again, carrying it upstairs to your room, right across from his, following you inside and setting the bag on your desk chair. “Do you want help changing clothes? I promise I’m not just asking because I want to see you naked.”
You don’t laugh at the joke, kicking your boots off roughly, not caring where they land.
“I’ll be fine,” you answer, turning your back on him. You’re sick of this, of feeling like a child, of being coddled and given those concerned looks all through dinner, like you can’t handle yourself -- like you haven’t had worse injuries, like you hadn’t run the gauntlet and bonded a dragon and literally everything else this terrible school asks of its students.
You try to tug your shirt off, hissing in pain at the movement of your arm. Hot tears start to flow down your cheeks as you continue to struggle, the fabric getting stuck on the thick wooden splint the healers had put around your forearm as a temporary fix.
“Hey,” Bodhi coaxes, “let me do it.”
You sigh, admitting defeat and taking a few steps toward him, allowing him to help get your good arm out of the other sleeve first, and gently untangle the shirt from the splint, tossing it into your laundry hamper with practiced ease.
He wipes away your tears with a gentle brush of his thumb, cradling your cheek in his hand. The familiar softness of his touch relaxes you near-instantly.
“I know this is frustrating for you, and I know you’re a badass independent woman dragon rider, who can take care of herself, and that’s one of the things I love most about you, but it would be easier -- and it would make me feel better -- if you let me help you. I love you, and I don’t want you to be in pain.”
“Thank you,” you say quietly. “Love you too.”
You stay like that for a moment, leaning into his hand and closing your eyes -- you’re exhausted.
“We’ll go by the healers before breakfast and see if Nolon is back,” he promises, pressing a kiss to your temple. “But until then, I’m gonna be here to help you, okay?”
You make a soft sound of acknowledgement, working up the courage. “Stay the night?” you ask softly.
“Gladly,” he answers. “I’ll even bring extra pillows.”
There’s a moment of soft, comfortable silence that you want to linger in forever -- you really don’t feel like trying to shower with this thing on, or to lay down in bed; even with Bodhi by your side, it’s going to be uncomfortable, especially with how much you usually toss and turn during the night.
“I never asked you how this happened,” he realizes.
You stiffen, silent.
He looks at you with a seriousness you hardly ever see, deep concern with anger simmering underneath. “I need you to tell me who did this to you.”
You shake your head. “Nobody hurt me.”
He doesn’t look like he believes you -- you could very well be lying, because you don’t want him to go off and beat someone up just because they bested you in a challenge, but there weren’t any challenge fights today; they’re over for the rest of the school year. Had someone gone out of their way to injure you, to make an attempt on your life?
“My love, I’m serious. If someone tried to-”
“I tripped over my own shoelace and fell down the flight of stairs by Kaori’s classroom,” you interrupt quietly. “Half a dozen first-years saw the whole thing.”
He knows you well enough to know that you’re telling the truth, that what he’s seeing is genuine embarrassment -- the shyness in your voice and the warmth of your cheeks give it away.
He laughs in relief, and at how deeply unserious this whole situation is. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing.”
“It’s okay,” you say, shaking your head with a slight smile. “It’s pretty funny.”
It’s hilarious. You’d completed your first year largely unscathed, sustaining no major injuries, but an untied shoelace had nearly done you in.
“That’s it,” he declares, “I’m tying your shoes for you every morning from now on.”
You laugh, wincing when the motion jostles your arm and sends a jolt of pain through you.
“Oh, honey,” he soothes. “C’mere.”
You settle into his arms, leaning against him as he embraces you, careful not to touch your splint.
“I love you,” he whispers, nudging his nose against yours.
“I love you too,” you reply. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
“Always, my love. Always.”
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Text
Peace Offerings Pt. 11
Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader
Series Summary: Joel makes a bad impression on the reader when he cuts in front of her at the radio station in the QZ. Abe, a father figure to her and an informant of Joel’s, informs her that the two have something in common: A brother in Wyoming. Joel reluctantly follows Abe’s wishes when he asks him to take the reader along to help find her brother too. As the journey goes on, she finds that despite his best efforts to make her think so, Joel isn’t a complete asshole, and maybe even a little… attractive?
Series Warnings: Slow burn, Fluff, Angst, Age gap (reader is 34, Joel is 56), 18+ Minors DNI, Sexual Themes, Violence, Injuries (depictions of blood, bruising, broken bones), Cursing, Grumpy!Joel, Minimal depictions of reader's appearance (hair color/length.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part Eleven
A few weeks passed by, and I’d volunteered to help out at the little school they’d established in town for the kids. Matthew continued his shifts on the watch, and we’d been getting along much better since our talk. The one person I hadn’t seen much of was Joel. He’d started to help out with construction and restoration projects around town, and I’d see him leaving for his shifts early in the morning. Around the same time I’d leave to set up for school. Every time I spotted him, I’d feel a pang in my chest. I wanted to talk to him, to talk about what I’d said that night, but he clearly didn’t want to hear it. He made that obvious by keeping his head down every time he left his house. I didn’t try to talk to him, didn’t trust myself not to make things worse. So instead, I acted like I didn’t care, like I was unphased by the way he’d shriveled up and evaporated from my life at the first sign of danger. I knew I’d scared him off. It was no secret, and the regret of not keeping my mouth shut was so crippling I’d barely left the house.
It was Saturday morning, and I was getting dressed to go to the community restoration of another abandoned house down the block. Matthew had told me it’d be a good way to get out of the house and “quit moping around.” I figured he was right, that I should meet some other folks in town if I was going to be here for a while. So, I pulled on the new pair of jeans Maria had traded for me, threw on a t-shirt I’d taken from Matthew’s stash, and headed out the door.
As I approached the crowd of people gathered around the house, anxiety twisted my stomach. It had been so long since I’d been a part of a community. For 20 years it had only been Matthew and I, just me, and then Joel and I. I stood awkwardly between two women who smiled welcomingly as I approached. We were being divided into groups and each given jobs. My group had been put in charge of knocking down and rebuilding the rotting walls inside the house.
I climbed up the steps along with my group and followed down the hall to meet our group leader. I had forgotten that Joel had been doing carpentry work, and my eyes widened at the sight of him standing there holding a sledge hammer and a couple of hard hats. Our eyes met, but he quickly broke the contact as he began to explain the directions. He walked along the line of people, passing out the hats. I was the last one in line. Butterflies fluttered around my rib cage when his hand brushed mine as he placed the hard hat into it. He paused his speech briefly, but continued on. “This house has a lot of rot and hasn’t been touched in years, so no matter what you do, do not remove your head protection.” He said before glancing at me. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.
We began with pulling down the walls that he’d made holes in with his sledge hammer. The gloves were far too big for my hands and kept slipping off when they got caught in the plaster. “How’s it goin’?” Joel’s voice rumbled from behind me. I spun around, ending up inches from him. “Me? Oh-I don’t have much experience ripping down walls, but fine I guess.” I sputtered. He nodded and continued to check on the other members of the group. I began to sweat from the repetitive movements of pulling and throwing the plaster, and from having the cloth over my face to protect from the dust. Without thinking, I took my hard hat off to wipe my forehead and pull my hair back. I heard Joel call out my name panickedly, but didn’t have time to react before a sickening crack rang out and I was knocked to the ground by a loose beam in the ceiling. Dark spots crowded my vision and I blinked a few times to clear them, but soon after my vision turned to darkness.
I only caught fragments of what happened after I got hit. I heard someone yell, “Does anyone know this girl?” and another voice yell, “I do. Don’t touch her!” I felt the sensation of being picked up and carried to a vehicle. Heard the same voice calling my name, and saying “Come on, sweetheart, you’re gonna be okay. Hurry up will ya? She’s bleeding everywhere!” I felt gentle slaps on my cheek, and opened my eyes briefly to see Joel’s face hovering over me. He had my head cradled in his lap, a hand pressing against the back of my head where I’d been hit. “Hi,” I whispered. He ran his thumb over my cheek, and whispered back, “Hey.” I smiled lightly before the light plus the pressure in my head forced me to close my eyes, but he patted my cheek again, “No, no, don’t close your eyes. You gotta stay awake for me, okay? We’re almost there.” I mindlessly whispered back, “I’m awake.” I tried my best to keep my eyes open and focus on Joel’s face, but the movement of the truck and the light shining in through the window were all too much, and eventually I fell unconscious.
I awoke in a dark room. There was a faint, continuous beeping sound coming from beside me. I tried to sit up but my head was pounding and my stomach filled with nausea. My attempt to see where I was was fruitless. Both from disorientation, and since the only illumination was the sliver of light coming in from the crack in the door. My name being uttered suddenly filled the heavy silence. I followed the sound to a figure who was propped up in a chair to my right. “Matthew?” I asked groggily. “It’s me.” I finally recognized the voice. The soothing, yet deep and gravelly tone. It was Joel. “Joel? Where’s Matthew?” I asked as I attempted to sit up again. His hand fell onto my shoulder and gently forced me back. “Don’t try to sit up.” He advised gently, “Matthew isn’t-” The door opened and a figure walked in. “Mr. Miller, may I speak with you outside?” The person asked in a polite and calm tone. I watched as Joel’s shadow moved across the room and to the door. The two stood there, seemingly deep in conversation. I strained to hear them, but my head began to hurt worse from the effort and my ears were ringing slightly.
Eventually, Joel nodded and made his way back to my side. “You remember what happened?” He asked as he sat back down into the chair. “I hit my head.” I answered. “That’s cute. You got your head hit by a support beam.” He spat back. “Sir.” the person who I could only assume was a nurse cleared her throat. Joel leaned back in his chair and let the woman approach. I kept my eyes on her as best as I could as I listened to her speak. She explained, in a much more comforting tone, “Miss, you have suffered blunt force trauma to the back of your head which caused a laceration and a small skull fracture. You likely have a moderate concussion and will have to lay low for the next few weeks to heal.” I huffed in disbelief. “A fractured skull? Does Matthew know?” I questioned panickedly. Joel began to speak, but the nurse cut him off, “Your brother has been notified. We suggest you rest as much as possible for the time being. Once we are happy with your vitals and change your wound dressing, we can discharge you.” She explained. I nodded slightly while twisting the fabric of the thin bed sheet between my fingers.
The nurse exited, leaving Joel and I to sit in silence. “So why are you here?” I asked dryly. “Because you were under my supervision.” He answered, mimicking my tone. I could tell he was annoyed with me. “Right. Go ahead, lecture me about following directions. I know I deserve it.” I said defeatedly. “I’m not allowed.” He sighed. “Oh so that’s what the nurse was lecturing you about.” I chuckled in realization, “So does that mean you have to be nice to me?” He answered, “Just long enough for you to heal.” I rolled my eyes, ignoring the dull ache behind them.
We let another bout of silence pass before I spoke again, “So, am I ever going to get an answer about where my brother is?” Joel shifted in his chair and cleared his throat. A nervous tick. “He left for a mission with the watch. A supply trade with another community. He’ll be back in a few days.” He said quietly. “A few days? When the fuck was he going to tell me?” I asked angrily. “Shhh. Calm down. I promised the nurse I wouldn’t tell you, but you deserve to know. He wanted to tell you but he didn’t have much notice. You’re staying with me until you can function on your own.” I laid back in the bed, and tried to still my breathing. Becoming upset only made the nausea and the pressure in my head worse. “I don’t need to stay with you. I’ll be fine on my own.” I insisted. “You won’t be. Your head is cracked open. So, you don’t have much of a choice. It’s me or some randos. I figured you’d rather not be with complete strangers.” He said sternly. I thought for a moment. He was right, I didn’t have a choice. I knew brain injuries weren’t anything to fuck around with, so I needed to brush my ego aside and accept his help despite how confusing his sudden relapse in caring about me was.
The nurses took my vitals and changed my wound dressing before handing me a bottle of pills and sending Joel and I on our way. I shielded my eyes from the blinding sun as I trailed behind Joel on the street, and he eventually slowed down for me out of pity. He held the door of his house open for me, and began to pour me a glass of water as I settled on his couch.
A few minutes passed and the thud of a plate hitting the coffee table next to me snapped me out of the fog I’d been in. I glanced to see what kind of offering it was this time. A sandwich that looked to have more than just meat and cheese. My stomach rumbled at the sight, and I looked up at Joel. “Thank you.” I said quietly as I reached for the plate. He nodded and sat down to eat himself. “The nurse gave me some medicine. Said you needed to eat beforehand. How’re you feelin’?” He asked. I finished chewing the delicacy and swallowed before answering, “Head is aching that’s for sure. The stitches are more annoying than anything.” My hand moved to the back of my head to feel the scratchy bandage. I shuddered to think about what was underneath it. He nodded and turned his attention back to his food. “Speaking of, you’ve got to change your dressing before you go to sleep tonight.”
My stomach twisted at the thought of the wound being touched. “Oh. Okay.” I muttered. “I can help ya if you want? It’d be hard to see.” He questioned. I didn’t want Joel to see the sweaty, shaky wreck I would become at the slightest amount of pain. I could handle cramps, broken ribs, possible broken nose, but anything to do with the skull and stitches skeeved me out more than anything. Anxiety started to build in my chest, and I could feel the anger defense mechanism gearing up. “Um… I appreciate all of the help, but I got this.” He nodded. We both finished our sandwiches and then I’d insisted he stay downstairs while I took the bandages and other supplies into the upstairs bathroom.
I stood in front of the mirror. Staring at the hair being pushed up from the bandage wrapped around my head. The dark circles pulling my eyes down. My chapped, dehydrated lips. I felt embarrassed that Joel was seeing me like this. I knew I shouldn’t care what he thinks. That he’s seen me in other bad states. But I couldn’t stifle the fact that I wanted him to think I was pretty.
I winced as I unraveled the bandage and pulled it off of my head. I laid the bloodsoaked fabric onto the counter and began to pull off the gauze. The sting of the wound being tampered with caused me to let out a small panicked shriek, and I let my hands fall to the edges of the sink. The gauze wasn’t even half-way off, and I brought my hand up to my mouth to stifle the whimpers as I worked through pulling it off the rest of the way. I grabbed the bottle of hydrogen peroxide from the infirmary and poured it onto an extra piece of gauze. After taking a deep breath in, I pressed it to the wound. The searing sensation hit me like a truck, and a loud “fuck” left my throat.
“You okay?” Joel called. I heard him coming up the stairs and opened the bathroom door to reveal my teary eyed self. “No I’m not fucking okay.” I spat, “I can’t do one thing without injuring myself in some way. I don’t even know how I made it this far being this fucking dumb-“ my hysterical rant was halted at the feeling of his hand on my shoulder. “Hey, hey, wait a second. It’s okay.” He said gently as he took the cotton pad out of my hand, “Just let me help you.” His eyebrows knitted in pity as he gently spun me back towards the mirror. I caught my breath and watched him assess the wound on the back of my head. “You’re always helping me.” I mumbled, “Just wanted to do somethin’ for myself for once. You’re always helping me or saving me. Jesus. You only agreed to get me somewhere and now look at you.” I was mainly speaking to distract myself from the pain of the gauze being pressed gently against my head, but Joel was listening. “I agreed to get you somewhere safely.” He corrected me. “And you did. And we were supposed to go our separate ways. The plan wasn’t for you to turn into my personal nurse. God, you even almost got away from me but my stupid brother made me go to that community restoration and there I was again, just taking off my hard hat to wipe the sweat away and then pulling you back into my bullshit.” His face twisted in confusion, “What do you mean ‘almost got away?’”
I bit my lip, realizing that in distracting myself I’d also brought up the elephant in the room. “Y-you didn’t talk to me for weeks after that night after the bar. I thought I’d scared you off.” I said sheepishly. “Oh.” He said, his voice deepened. “Did I?” I asked as I made eye-contact with him through the mirror. He didn’t answer for a few moments as he focused on dressing the gash in my head. “It wasn’t you.” He finally spoke, “I scared myself.” I turned around and met his eyes. Our faces and bodies once again inches from each other. “How?” I asked. I watched his eyes as I questioned him. They were always telling the truth before he was, but this time he spoke before they could. “It got me thinkin’… about things I shouldn’t have been.” He said quietly. The rasp of his voice when he spoke in a low tone had me in a chokehold. “Like what?” I practically purred, unable to stop my eyes from flitting between his eyes and his lips. He cleared his throat, “Just things. Turn around, gotta bandage that back up.” His sudden pivot back to reality felt like a punch to the gut. How many more times was he going to avoid this conversation? I didn’t move, my eyes still boring into him like talons. I felt his hands grip my waist and he gently pushed my body to turn forwards. “I can never get anything out of you, Joel. Can you just this once explain yourself so I don’t have to keep guessing?” I pushed. “You know what? You want to know what I was thinking? I was thinking about how I could never be in a relationship again because the fear of losing yo- that person… makes me sick. I almost lost my life over my daughter, and I’d be a fool to think that I could ever make it through something like that again.” I stared at him through the mirror, unable to find the correct words to throw back at him.
My heart beat against my ribcage and all I could think about was the fact that he’d almost said “you” as in me. As in he’s scared of losing me. The man who had me convinced he hated me for the first few weeks of our journey. “Joel,” I stammered, “I never insinuated that we-“ He spoke over me, “But I did. I saw the full vision and the fact that I liked it made me almost throw up in the street.” By now he’d finished wrapping my head, and I turned around to face him again. “I felt the same way, Joel. Felt sick to my stomach. But it wasn’t about me ‘seeing the vision,’ it was the fear that I’d lost you. Officially scared you away.” I said quietly. “I don’t know if you could ever do that.” He ground out, his hand was subconsciously placed onto the base of my neck and the look of his glossy eyes were so soft it felt like they were holding me. “I’ve tried to dislike you- to push you away, trust me…” I chimed in, “Me too.” He continued, “but you make that a very hard thing to do.” The earnest look in his eyes and the softening of his voice brought a feverish red to my cheeks. The fluttering I felt in my chest was dizzying. I found myself leaning backwards onto the sink. I was waiting for him to break this moment up. To take a step back and say something dismissive or to just plain run away. But he didn’t. His strong hands held me steadily in front of him, and his eyes embraced my disheveled form. “Why don’t we stop doing that to each other then?” I asked softly. “I can try.” He answered, the side of his face turned up into a miniscule smile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's note:
I'm so glad everyone is liking this series and sticking around despite it being the SLOWEST BURN EVER :') I can't thank y'all enough!!! A few housekeeping things: From now on, I will be posting a new chapter every Monday + comment to let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist <3
Taglist:
@demonsasss @ayamenimthiriel @ashleyfilm
#joel miller x reader#joel tlou#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fandom#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal x female reader#tlou#joel the last of us#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fanfiction#tlou smut#the last of us smut#the last of us#joel miller#the last of us hbo#hbo the last of us#tlou joel#if bad why hot?#if bad why sexy#but daddy i love him#i can fix him#forced proximity trope#enemies to friends to lovers#enemies to lovers#jackson au#jackson tlou#pedrohub#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller fanfiction
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