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#I just did what I felt worked best for my way of doodling things or whatever lol

magiturge · 3 days

Text

it’s 2 in the morning, why not..

as many hank thoughts as i can muster before i get too tired to type on my phone lalala this wont be all of it because i need diagrams for the one im rolling in my head

• they are a thief of a myriad of things whether it matters to them or not. a thief of other people’s lives, a thief of mundane belongings or a thief of body, it can be many things.

• pertaining to the thief of body idea, i like to believe that a large portion of his body did not originally belong to it. having died so many times and likely dying more times than we have seen on screen, i think his body being made up of stolen parts adds to the grizzly idea of a killing machine. and frankly, i doubt in the grand scheme it does not really matter to it. based on behaviors observed ingame, in cartoon and some questions answered during krinkels streams, i feel that functionality will override sentimentality, if any. if it works it works, if it wasn’t mine then oh well. it is now.

• blood type could either be AB+ or AB-, i haven’t decided what is funnier. being AB+ is convenient but nothing can be perfect.

• speaking of the amalgamation of parts, a thief of body, i think being made of many insignificant parts from those long passed will inevitably result in failings functionality wise that need to be accommodated for. maybe the heart doesn’t beat as well as it should, the pacemaker jumbling about with damaged nerves that scream to heal together and do something properly. damaged vessels and tissue making it difficult to perform some functions without aid.

• one of these being compression garments that aid in his ability to enact venous return due to damaged vessels not being able to maintain high enough blood pressure. sure, he will indeed work hard enough to have the support of skeletal muscle and the respiratory pump but i think there is definitely a possible issue regarding the valves and their ability to close in order to prevent back flow.

• may or may not have an artificial, shoddy pacemaker to aid in a steady depolarization of the heart in order to beat properly.

• may suffer from more bouts of referred pain than normal that lead to it on occasion having to be checked on due to what it may imply. referred pain is a phenomenon where an injury may be at one part of the body but is felt in a different part. believed to be due to interconnecting nerves, i think hank dealing with referred pain more than normal could be something. it may pose a dangerous threat to him due to his pain tolerance being higher and that it could possibly dismiss the pain in its arm or what is left of its jaw as something not important. you can decide if hank ignores it and pushes through or could take the precaution and recognize it could cause more of an issue to ignore it.

• due to all these parts not fitting together in a pleasing manner, i like to reflect that slightly in my design when drawing it with its clothes on. if you saw that one small note i made on a doodle, you’d see that i made it important to say that asymmetry is important for when i draw them. while i’m not the best at anatomy i want to reflect the unevenness of his body somehow, in such a way you could pass it off as just an odd fashion choice.

• another choice when drawing is when drawing the hands atleast in grunt form, i try not to keep the tips of the fingers even. i feel that their nails come in a variety of bruised shades from fighting, some are chipped, some are blooming red and purple underneath and maybe one is just plain gone with tender skin beneath it doesn’t really matter to it fortunately. this is why in some doodles hank may have full set of claws, mixmatch or none.

• zzz zz..

ouh im tired now lala lala zz

#ehehe #sorry im #mentally ill #madness combat #lalalalalalallaa

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harryspet · 5 months

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bambi eyes (3) r. cameron

[Warnings] soft!dark!rafe cameron x reader, daddy!rafe x little!reader older!rafe, crimeboss!rafe, rafe takes advantage of traumatized reader, DUBCON, dd/lg, sex trafficking, sexual slavery, sugar daddy rafe, stockholm syndrome, spoiling kink, unprotected sex, forced? age regression, little editing, 18+ READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

word count: 3.4k

In which you do your best to deal with your Daddy's mood swings.

main masterlist

bambi eyes masterlist

You felt like you were seeing Rafe less and less as the next two weeks went on. He was stressed about what was going on with work. He often paced back and forth in front of you, ranting, although he was never specific about the details of what was going on.

You noticed that he grabbed you tighter, pushed you harder into the mattress, and talked less during sex whenever something outside was affecting him. You were starting to accept it; it never hurt too much, and you’d be more scared if he weren’t interested in you in that way. If he didn’t want to be intimate with you, then there was a chance he wouldn’t want you anymore.

As much as Rafe promised you this was permanent, you couldn’t fully believe him. He had done all of this just for you, so you had to be able to offer him something special in return.

Like Rafe wanted, you established a routine. Every morning the birds would wake you up exactly at eight, and you’d make your bed which kept you from napping all day. Staying in your room was causing your imagination to stretch. You found new ways to entertain yourself, including trying on all the clothes in your wardrobe and throwing elaborate tea parties with all your stuffed animals and dolls.

One night that you thought would be like the last twelve nights, Rafe came to you after Lana had already brought you dinner. He wasn’t dressed in his usual khakis and dress shirt but in sweatpants and a pullover. You were curled up on the window seat, drawing flowers in a notebook, when Rafe came over to join you.

“Hi,” You spoke softly. He placed a warm hand on your knee, and you slowly closed your notebook.

“Hi, baby,” There was an ease and calmness to his voice that made you believe he’d actually had a good day, “What are you working on? Show me.”

You sat up, leaning closer, as you handed him the notebook. You hid slightly behind your knees as Rafe began to flip through the pages. At this point, you’d covered half of the pages in your doodles, “Oh wow, these are really pretty, Bambi,” He smiled with his entire face, including his bright eyes, “We should hang some of these on the fridge.”

You felt a bit of relief, hearing that he liked him, “I have more. Way more. I’ve colored a lot of the coloring books.”

“Go get them, I’ll pick my favorites,” Excitedly, you got up from the window seat. When you set several full coloring books in his lap, Rafe’s lips parted in shock, “Okay, wow, I don’t think I realized how much coloring you’d been doing.”

“I think it’s fun,” You said.

“Good, I want you to have fun,” Rafe nodded, “But have you worn down all your color pencils? How come you haven’t asked for more?”

You shrugged when Rafe gave you an inquisitive look, “I try to take care of the ones I have.”

“Would you even ask Daddy for more coloring books if you ran out of pages to color?”

“Maybe,” You spoke honestly.

The idea of asking for more than what Rafe had already given you did make your heart race. Rafe shook his head at something, “Daddy will get you lots more art supplies. Maybe you could try painting?”

“We could paint together?” You perked up.

“Yeah, yeah,” Rafe assured you, “I’m really, really sorry I haven’t been here as much as I’ve wanted to. Needed to, really. It’s just … I’m working on a lot of things right now, you know?”

“I’ve been okay,” You said, “Lana has been kind to me.”

“Good, good, I want you to be happy here, you know? That’s why I want you comfortable asking for things,” You watched Rafe’s eyes wander towards the bookshelf, “Like your books. I never see you reading them. Do you not like them?”

“I do,” You said quickly.

Rafe started to stare deeply at you, “What-what is it?”

“I . . . “

“I can pick some different ones for you? What do you like?”

“I like it when you read to me, Daddy,” Rafe tilted his head and the mentioning of his nickname didn’t light up his features like usual, “It’s hard for me. I never needed to … do that.”

He paused, which made you think you’d done something wrong, “You’ve never needed to read?”

“I can do it,” You said, “It’s hard when they’re all together, and there’s so many… the words. I’m sorry you think I don’t like the books you picked. I really do. I will try harder–”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Rafe rushed to put the coloring books aside and grab ahold of your face, “I just didn’t know, that’s it. You didn’t do anything wrong. At all.”

It wasn’t something you’d ever felt embarrassed about, but now you couldn’t help but feel stupid. Deep down, you felt a guy like Rafe deserved someone better. He deserved someone smarter than you.

You closed your eyes, wanting to hang your head, but Rafe said, “Look at me, hey,” Weakly, you did, “I’ve been thinking that you should spend more time with Lana instead of being cooped up in here. At least until I can take care of this … one problem I have. She’d be happy to have some company. And, if you want to learn, she could help you with your reading.”

“You don’t care?”

“Not at all, look, don’t worry. I’ve got you, sweet girl,” He said. Rafe leaned in to peck your nose before he brought your lips together. You melted into him, realizing then how much you missed him when he was gone, “You know what I was thinking?”

You stared back at Rafe, who had a mischievous look in his eye.

“We should take the boat out.”

“Now? Where?”

“Just on a short ride to get you some fresh air. It’ll be cold, so let’s find you some warmer clothes, yeah?”

It was a rhetorical question; Rafe was already making his way over to your wardrobe. You looked down at the small silk pajama set you were wearing. You’d seen all the boats out by the dock but hadn’t imagined that Rafe would take you out on one. “Lift your arms,” You did exactly as he said, pulling a light blue sweatshirt over your head. He also chose long pajama bottoms, helping you get into those, too, “You want to bring one of your stuffies?”

Your excitement mixed with your anxiety as you put on your slippers. It was a hard decision to make about which stuffed animal you wanted to bring, but you settled on Fin, your silvery-blue dolphin, “Excellent choice.”

Rafe grabbed your hand, leading you downstairs, “Do you think we’ll see a real dolphin?”

“Well, they tend to be more active during the day, and it’ll be dark soon … but maybe if you wish really, really hard.”

The air was much cooler outside than you expected, and you certainly didn’t expect it to feel so strange being in the fresh air. You turned in a circle just so you could take in the sky, the trees, the house, and everything around you.

You followed a determined Rafe across the yard and towards the deck. He chose one of the smaller boats, although there was room for at least four more people. You yelped when Rafe grabbed you by your waist suddenly and lifted you inside. Another yelp escaped your lips as the boat rocked under the pressure of your weight, “You’re okay, don’t worry,” He didn’t have to tell you to take a seat or be still; you decided you wouldn’t move at all, “One . . . moment.”

You watched through the corner of your eyes as Rafe untied the roaps keeping the boat tethered to the dock. The boat rocked again as Rafe hopped inside, causing you to grip Fin in one hand and grip the side of the boat in the other.

You sat in the seat right across from Rafe as the boat slowly pulled off towards deeper water. As the boat became more steady, you turned your head and watched Tannyhill get smaller and smaller. The orange and blue sky reflected off the water, creating an insanely beautiful view. You sailed towards the horizon, the son looking half submerged in the water, “How do you feel?” Rafe yelled over the sound of the motor, “Wanna go faster?”

You nodded, a smile growing on your face, “My little daredevil, huh?” You sat up on your knees, wanting to see more. You get a better look at Figure 8, seeing lots of huge houses along the beach, although none of them compare to Tannyhill. Rafe pointed out different landmarks for you, including the country club and a huge lighthouse out in the water. In your eyes, this night made every other night where you worried about your place with Rafe worth it.

“Go ahead, you can give it a taste test,” Lana conceded, allowing you to dip your finger into the chocolate cake batter. A few days after your night out with Rafe, Lana was showing you how to make the perfect chocolate cake. You thought she might be exaggerating about how perfect it was until you were licking your finger. An excited moan left your mouth and you bounced on the balls of your feet, “It’s great, isn’t it? Espresso powder is the key.”

“It really is,” You agreed.

“Now, wash your hands. It’s time to pour our batter.”

The entire day Lana had told you exactly what to do and how to do it. You didn’t mind listening or following her directions as she usually spoke to you warmly. Besides that, you wanted to learn exactly how to take care of things around the house, knowing that Rafe would appreciate your help when Lana couldn’t be here. The two of you cleaned the entire downstairs, did several loads of laundry, washed the windows in the glass patio, and even had time for a reading lesson in the early morning. She informed you that she homeschooled her youngest son and that she would try to teach you in a similar way.

As you washed your hands, you glanced out the side window towards the dock. You could see Rafe far out on the dock, standing with the same business associate who came to the house a few weeks ago. They weren’t alone like you were expecting; someone was on their knees a few feet ahead of them, their head slumped over. You squinted your eyes, trying to see more of them, although Rafe and his business associate shouting at each other blocked your view, “What are they doing out there? Who’s that?” Lana came over to where you were standing, peeking out just like you were.

Whatever business Rafe was involved in, Lana didn’t seem to care for it, “Mr. Cameron and Barry, they’re always at each other’s throats,” She shook her head, “Come, dry your hands. The oven is heated.”

You did as she said, turning your head away. There were going to be several layers to your cake, meaning you had three pans to fill, and after that, you and Lana would make the icing. Just as your mind wandered back to Rafe, you heard him coming through the kitchen door.

He wiped the sweat from his forehead, pacing for a moment before his dark eyes landed on you, “Bambi, let’s … uhm, go upstairs,” His voice was shaky and deeper than normal, “Come here.”

“We’re-We’re just about to put the cake in the oven. It’s for tonight, and we’re going to make homemade icing too–”

“Now …please,” He said the last word like it was painful, “It’s time for you to go back to your room.”

No, no, no, a voice repeated in your head.

“But Lana was going to teach me how to ice the cake, too and she —”

“Fine,” Rafe snapped, his hand slamming against the counter before he rolled his eyes, “Just stay here.”

As Rafe stomped away, you knew you had something horribly wrong. You’d seen him in a similar mood before but he never directed any of his vitriol towards you before. Whatever had happened on the dock had clearly upset him. You really wanted to finish working with Lana. More than anything, you didn’t want to be locked in your room for another long period of time.

After taking a breath, or attempting to take one, you turned to Lana, “I didn’t mean… I-I should go say sorry.”

“You might want to let him calm down a little bit, sweetheart,” You’d already made up your mind. You reached behind your neck to undo the top of your apron, “Turn around, let me help you. He’s not mad at you.”

“How do you know?”

“I know who he is,” She spoke simply, “Don’t take anything too personally with Mr. Cameron.”

“You can finish without me; I’m sorry, but thank you for today,” You said as you started to walk away. After you saw her nod, a sad smile on her face, you turned away and sped for the stairs.

You approached Rafe’s bedroom moments later, hesitantly turning the knob, “Daddy?” You called, peeking inside. You called him again. He wasn’t in the main room but the shower was running in the bathroom, “Rafe?”

You jumped when he suddenly appeared in the bathroom doorframe, shirtless and his belt undone. This time, you notice his bruised hands and bloody knuckles.

“I didn’t mean to make you upset, Daddy.”

“Get down on your knees,” He stared you down. When you tried to come closer, he said, “No, drop to your knees right there.”

You felt your knees brush against the bedroom rug, “Crawl to me.”

If Rafe wanted you to feel even smaller, then his plan was successful. You did as he said, seeing no other option, and crawled towards him. You watched as he palmed himself over his briefs, and you could already feel him stretching you, pulling your hair, and leaving marks on your bottom. This wouldn’t last, you told yourself; he would be gentle with you another time.

Your sage dress had ridden up your body, exposing your floral patterned white panties.

“You’re gonna suck my cock and swallow all my cum. And then you’re gonna thank Daddy for letting you.”

You’d do exactly as your Daddy wanted, hoping he’d take your sore throat and tears as a sufficient apology.

Once you were soundly asleep in his bed, Rafe slipped out. He had a huge, bloody problem waiting for him in the cabin of his boat. Luckily, JJ Maybank was still the degenerate he used to be, and no one except his Pogue girlfriend would come looking for him anytime, “Son of a bitch isn’t talking,” Barry grunted out, meeting Rafe at the beginning of the dock, “Knocked two of his bottom teeth out and he’s still not motivated.”

Rafe had done everything possible to limit any competition he might face in Kildare. All small-time dealers would be working for someone who worked for Rafe. This was meant to be Rafe’s island yet somehow, Maybank was getting supplies from the mainland and was stealing his customers.

“We could take his girl.”

Rafe contemplated Barry’s question before shaking his head, “If she comes around trying to find him, we might have no choice. I’m sure that will motivate him.”

Rafe could see Barry’s eyes wandering to Kie. Part of him would love to see JJ squirm if they got their hands on her. You were the reason he didn’t think too long about that. Barry, on the other hand, Rafe would let him do whatever he wanted with Kie. In the end, Rafe wanted JJ to talk, to give up his sources, but he’d be just fine killing him.

“I hope,” Barry crossed his arms, “Not exactly looking forward to dealing with the body.”

“We don’t have to deal with that shit anymore; I know who to pay to handle it,” Rafe said, “Speaking of, I think I-uh need some more security here. I want guards all around the perimeter. Because of the amount of merchandise and if we’re going to be taking captives, you know. I want this place to be a fortress.”

“Your merchandise, huh?” Barry flashed Rafe a knowing look, “You got any liquor in that big house?”

Rafe gestured his head toward the house, signaling to Barry to follow behind him.

“If Kie doesn’t come for him and if he still has no information to offer us, we kill him. No more torture, no mess, one gunshot to the temple,” Rafe instructed, his mind racing with what their next moves should be. The more planning beforehand, the better, and the less likely it would come back to them, “That’ll send a message to the rest of the Pogues too. They work for me, or they work for no one.”

“And after you’ve cornered the market?”

“That’s just the start of everything else,” Rafe led Barry through the first floor, towards his office. Ward always used to keep his office stocked with liquor as it came in handy for important meanings. Rafe learned people will often let down their barriers and concede to more under the influence of alcohol. He opened the door for him, allowing him to enter.

“Whoa,” Barry said, walking inside just as Rafe heard a soft gasp from a familiar voice. Eyebrows raised, Rafe entered behind him to find what had shocked him, “Is this the new Mrs. Cameron?”

With wide eyes, Rafe took you in. You were in the same clothes Rafe left you in, one of his white button-ups and your knee-high socks, “What are you doing down here?” You slowly stepped behind Rafe’s desk, and he could tell you were trying to hide yourself.

“I-I couldn’t find you.”

Rafe’s jaw jutted forward, his arms crossed, as he said, “You’re supposed to be sleeping.”

Your lips parted to say something, but Barry interrupted, “C’mon, man, it’s not even midnight! Introduce me to your girl. We can all have a drink,” He grabbed ahold of Rafe’s shoulder. You would think Barry had one the lottery based on the look in his eyes. By complete accident, Barry had stumbled on Rafe’s biggest treasure, “I’ll behave, I promise.”

“She doesn’t drink.”

Rafe was frustrated, mostly because he should’ve been keeping closer track of you. He’d given you that necklace for a reason. A new idea crossed his mind, one he wasn’t expecting, and some of his anxiety eased. He was far from embarrassed of you, he’d chosen you for a reason, but part of Rafe wanted Barry to envy him at that moment.

Rafe sighed, waving you closer to the two of them, “Bambi, this is Barry. Barry, this is Bambi,” Smoothly, Rafe grabbed ahold of your waist, pulling you into him.

“Hi,” You said shyly, “It’s nice to meet you.”

When Barry held his hands out to you, your eyes darted towards Rafe as if to ask permission. Agreement crossed his face, and Rafe watched you shake his hand. Barry was fully taking you in, of course, but Rafe knew a handshake would be the extent of his closeness with you.

“The pleasure is all mine, beautiful.”

“Chill out, dude. Sit down,” Rafe instructed Barry, pulling you along.

Barry made himself comfortable on the leather couch and Rafe motioned you to sit across in one of the leather chairs.

“How you liking Kildare?”

“It’s really nice,” Rafe heard you respond as he poured two glasses of whiskey for him and Barry, “There’s so many big houses, and … it’s just really pretty.”

“You ain’t seen much then, have you?” Rafe handed Barry his glass, flashing a warning with his eyes, “All the girls where you’re from, they as pretty as you?”

“I . . . I don’t know,” You laughed nervously.

Rafe placed a hand on your shoulder, and you looked up at him, “Why don’t you go get Barry a slice of that chocolate cake you made?”

Rafe assumed it would ease your nervousness if you could share what you made. “Okay, Daddy,” You smiled at both men, and both men watched you closely as you walked out of the room, “I’ll be right back.”

“Pretty and obedient,” Barry whistled, “I need to travel more.”

A/N: Thank you all so much for your support on the first two chapters BUT psa you will not be added to my taglist if you're not reblogging the fic and letting me know your thoughts! It is crazy to me that people will ask me to tag them in the next chapter when they have neither liked nor reblogged the fic. Constructive feedback is more encouraging than just commenting "PART 4" or "tag me in part 4" :)

PART 4

#dark fic #rafe x reader #rafe obx #rafe cameron #outer banks smut #barry outer banks #rafe cameron x black!reader #rafe cameron smut #rafe smut #rafe fanfiction

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moonlinos · 3 months

Text

Call my bluff, call you ‘babe’

♡ Pairing: Lee Minho × fem!reader

♡ Genre: Childhood friends to lovers, fluff

♡ CW: Implied smut, alcohol consumption. Twenty solid seconds of angst, but it doesn’t even really count. It’s just tooth-rotting fluff.

♡ Word count: 5.5k

♡ Synopsis: Minho has been your best friend since you two could barely form coherent sentences. He was there when your last baby tooth fell, he was there when you failed your high school exams, and he was there as you walked down the aisle.

♡ A/N: This was going to be just word-vomit fluff to make me cry, but I couldn’t control myself and before I knew it there were… so many words.

You were four years old when you met Minho. It was the first day of kindergarten, and you were assigned seats together. The entire day was spent with you chatting to every kid you could reach from your seat while Minho quietly sat painting and doodling by your side. You vaguely remember thinking he was odd and whining to your mom about how your seatmate was boring, and that was why he was the only kid in class you didn’t talk to. She smiled and told you maybe you should make an effort to talk to him. That same day, you racked your little brain for a reason why your seatmate might be so quiet and promptly decided that he was too shy to start a conversation himself. You then asked your mom if the fact that you didn’t talk to him might have made him sad, to which she hesitated, and that was enough to have your bottom lip wobbling.

You remember tears streaming down your cheeks as you frantically sobbed, inconsolable at the fact that your seatmate was sad and that it was partially because of you.

The next day, you asked if Minho would like to use your special glitter pens — you even told him you wouldn’t mind if he used your favorite colors. That was really all that was needed to plant the bud of friendship between you two.

Ever since that day, you two slowly became inseparable.

You attended the same elementary school after begging your parents, writing a very concise list of reasons why you two could not possibly be separated. Reasons such as the fact that Minho still didn’t know how to tie his shoelaces, so it would be dangerous for him to be alone in a new school. Or the fact that you were always losing your gloves, and Minho always carried an extra pair in his backpack just for you, so you would surely catch a cold if you didn’t have him beside you during winter.

All extremely valid reasons.

Minho began walking you home from school when you were both nine years old. He was often left alone due to his parents’ work schedules, which made him become the most street-smart kid in your class. You had to beg your mom for a week, but she ultimately caved in.

Your favorite thing to do on your way home was to stop randomly and doodle on the sidewalk with chalk, with Minho joining you in no time. You even had your favorite little sketching spot — right in front of a nice old lady’s flower shop, where you two would spend far too much time decorating her entrance pavement with flowers, rainbows, and smiley faces. She would later introduce herself to you, Ms. Kim, and would always thank you both with a flower of your choice. You always picked tulips, and Minho always picked daisies.

On one hazy winter day, you and Minho were eager to adorn the flower shop’s entrance with a new set of doodles since the ones you had done just yesterday got covered in snow. As you two did your best to dig through the piled-up snow with your gloved hands, you suddenly felt something hard slide down your throat. Your hands stilled, and you turned to look at Minho with wide eyes.

“What happened?” He asked. “Did you lose your glove in the snow this time?”

You shook your head frantically, careful not to swallow. “Teeth,” you simply said.

Minho looked at you like you were crazy, squinting his eyes as he studied your face. “What?”

You felt tears well up, and he immediately abandoned his mission of shuffling through the snow before pulling you into a big hug.

“Why are you crying? Don’t cry. I hate when you cry, I feel weird when you cry,” He said, but no tears left his worried eyes. Minho never cried, that was something you had learned a while back.

You, however, cried until Ms. Kim noticed you two from the window, cooing as she approached you two with a gentle smile. You tried your best to explain your predicament. Minho sat with you behind the wooden counter, holding your hand in his, the smell of flowers making everything feel less catastrophic than it did ten minutes earlier.

Ms. Kim explained that you had no reason to cry, as it was normal for kids to swallow their baby teeth. And you remember harshly shaking your head and explaining with a trembling voice that you hadn’t cried because of that. You had cried because that was your last baby tooth, which meant you were officially a grown-up. You didn’t want to be a grown-up. Minho wasn’t a grown-up yet, with his last baby tooth still holding on proudly in his gums. You didn’t want to be a grown-up all alone; it would be terrible and sad.

That afternoon, you two went home together in silence, your respective flowers clutched in your hands. Minho was never good with words. Sadness engulfed him because he couldn’t do enough to make his best friend smile again. What was the point of a best friend if they didn’t make you laugh when you were crying?

Minho walked into school the next day with a proud smile on his face before placing his last baby tooth on your desk. You eyed it curiously, brows furrowed.

“There, I took it off last night,” He simply said. “Now we’re gonna be grown-ups together.”

At eleven years old, your daily after-school video game appointments began.

You had just cut your hair short; a bob you thought looked cute on your favorite singer turned out to be cataclysmically unflattering on you. And, at eleven years old, it was earth-shattering and definitely the end of your life (despite what your mother told you).

You spent every second out in public with your hair hidden by a beanie, hoping it would distract people from your disastrous haircut.

Except it had the opposite effect.

One particular day at school, a boy came up to you simply to inform you that your head looked like a mushroom before running away, laughing with his friends. They were foolish words spoken by a foolish boy, but you were eleven. Once again, earth-shattering and the end of your life.

You avoided everyone the entire day — including Minho, whom you always talked to no matter your mood. You knew you wouldn’t be able to avoid him for much longer, seeing as he walked you home every day, so you simply prayed he wouldn’t notice your puffy eyes or that he at least hadn’t heard any of the other kids making unfunny jokes about your haircut.

After school, Minho sighed in feigned annoyance when you told him you had lost your gloves again before retrieving a pair from his backpack. Like a habit, you asked if he wanted to hang out at your house, although the answer was always unchanging.

“My mom’s baking a cake,” you told him. “We can play video games and then eat it together.”

Minho hummed in agreement, adjusting his backpack before grabbing your hand as you two began your daily walk to your house. It was something you always did, never walking anywhere without your hands clasped together. These past few months, however, this once ordinary gesture had begun making your heart beat faster. You didn’t understand why, and you would rather not think about it because every time you did, the words from your other friends would echo inside your head. Their stories about how they felt their hearts racing when their crush had hugged them or even looked their way, making you question if maybe…

But it couldn’t be. Minho was your best friend. How could he be your crush?

It was another one of those afternoons, your mom busily making you two sandwiches as you and Minho played New Super Mario Bros on your Wii under the blanket fort you always meticulously built. Minho had been acting weird all day — even weirder than you, who had to endure all the asinine jokes and hurtful words from your peers. As you completed the last level for the umpteenth time, saving Princess Peach, Minho all but threw his controller to the side. You turned to shoot him a questioning look, which went ignored as he rummaged through his backpack.

He retrieved a crumpled-up piece of paper, which he promptly gave to you.

You cocked your head, awaiting some sort of explanation, but Minho simply picked up his controller once more and hit play on the game.

Unfolding the paper, words greeted you in Minho’s messy handwriting.

YOUR HAIR LOOKS CUTE. STOP HIDING IT.

Your lips parted slightly, but before you could say anything to him, Minho reached out and snatched your beanie from your head. Your short hair and bangs cascaded onto your face, partially obscuring your view. But you could still make out his side profile, where a faint smile appeared on his lips.

After that, you two were silent for the rest of the day, eventually dozing off under the tent lulled by the sound of your mother’s hand mixer and Mario’s theme song. The sun eventually set outside the window, and you woke up to two plates of your mother’s cake waiting for you on the coffee table.

From that point on, your beanie was left forgotten inside your drawer.

You were fifteen when you realized that perhaps your feelings for Minho weren’t all that platonic after all.

It all started with a letter on Minho’s desk on a rainy Friday. October 25th, Minho’s birthday.

Minho’s quiet nature hadn’t changed one bit since you first sat beside him at four years old. He would rather die than start a conversation, rarely went out to the movies with your friend group and, most importantly, hated being the center of attention. That was why he told no one about his birthday since you two began high school this year. It was the subject of much debate among your little group of friends, with some bribing Minho with his favorite snacks or promising to do his assignments until college just for some sort of clue; a day, month, even the day of the week he was born.

But Minho never budged.

So, seeing a letter on his desk on the day of his birthday was odd, to say the least.

You arrived back to the classroom late after chatting to your friend from another class in the hallway, catching as Minho sat down with a puzzled look on his face and an open letter in his hands.

“What’s up?” You asked, sitting on the desk in front of him.

He looked up, thick glasses crooked from a dodgeball incident earlier that week. “Yumi found out it’s my birthday today,” He informed you, a bit too nonchalantly. “She organized a birthday party at her house tomorrow with our friends.”

You immediately took the letter, reading it and blanching at the words written in the girl’s pretty handwriting. She had found out Minho’s birthday by snooping around Facebook until she found his mother, who had a plethora of pictures of Minho on his previous birthdays. Not only that, the letter ended with a paragraph where she confessed her feelings to him — with all the clichés and dramatics only an adolescent crush could provide.

You still remember your first thoughts upon learning that information: Oh, Yumi. Of course a girl like her would do something like this.

You cringe at your words now, but at fifteen, you deemed no girl worthy of your best friend. Especially ‘girls like Yumi,’ who in your eyes all but threw herself at him. At the time, you thought you were looking out for the boy who was practically your brother. Now, you understand you were simply an insecure fifteen-year-old who allowed ugly, misogynistic thoughts to brew inside your mind out of fear of losing Minho. For your immature brain, every girl interested in Minho was an enemy because they could easily take him away from you.

And Minho had never reciprocated any girl’s feelings, always politely turning down the few confessions he had gotten during middle school. You were ready to berate Yumi, your brows immediately furrowing as your face contorted, but Minho beat you to it, speaking before you could utter a word.

“I know I should be mad, but isn’t it a little… cute?”

You couldn’t help but scoff, the sound escaping your lips like a burst of disbelief. You also couldn’t help how your hands began to tremble as your heart shot up to your throat.

“Cute?” You asked with the strongest voice you could muster. “You think her invading your privacy is cute?”

And Minho simply shrugged, tapping his fingers on his desk. “A little bit. I know you don’t really like her, but she’s part of our friend group,” He said, taking the letter from your shaky hands. “Plus, she’s always been nice to me, and she is cute.”

That was all you could physically bear to hear, excusing yourself from the conversation with the lie that your friend had called you from the classroom window before sprinting out into the hallway. As you continued walking, your palms grew clammy and your heart weighed heavily in your chest.

You felt tears well up in your eyes once you reached the stairs. Sitting on the steps, you cried into the cardigan of your ugly school uniform. You didn’t care that you would be scolded for skipping class; all you cared about was that your best friend was going to be taken from you.

After school, as you and Minho were about to exit the school gates — your hands tightly clasped together as they always were — Yumi appeared carrying a cake, the rest of your friends behind her as they all sang happy birthday.

Minho blew out the candles and made a wish. Everyone cheered as his best friend, Chan, shoved his face into the cake. Minho yelled at him, grumbling with glasses covered in white frosting, but ultimately laughing along. Yumi was quick to clean his face with a napkin, earning her a smile from Minho before he released your hand to gently squeeze her rosy cheeks.

You remained quiet, forcing out a smile and looking up at the sky every now and then so your tears wouldn’t fall.

All because Minho had let go of your hand.

Minho’s fifteenth birthday — that was the day you learned you could fool everyone else, but never yourself.

Your seventeenth summer was a drag.

Minho had just been broken up with a couple of months before, Yumi crying as she explained her parents wanted her to focus on her studies, and having a boyfriend was simply a distraction she couldn’t afford if she wanted to be a doctor someday. An unwilling participant in the entire situation, you sat awkwardly at the bus stop as she spoke.

You were ready to witness Minho cry for the first time in your life, maybe yell about how unfair her parents were being, but he simply pressed a kiss to her forehead just as your bus arrived.

Not much had changed when he began dating Yumi, with you learning that suppressing how you truly felt was worryingly easy. You still hung out with them, battling through their cuddles and kisses like a soldier on the front lines of a war. Never unscathed, but always strong. Nobody needed to know about how you cried into your mother’s arms almost every night before falling asleep.

The only change had been you and Minho’s daily gaming appointments. You two had since outgrown your video game phase, both now interested in diverging things that made it impossible for you to enjoy them together. You discovered your love for flowers went beyond doodling on the sidewalk in front of a flower shop, but Minho complained that growing flowers was too time-consuming, and he loved dancing, which you were far too uncoordinated and lazy to even try doing.

And so, you two settled for simply hanging out together at your house. Your room had easy access to the roof, which you two took full advantage of, setting up a permanent blanket fort where you would snuggle up with pillows and talk for hours after school.

That summer was no different, with Minho stretched out across the old mattress, watching the light pink sky slowly fade away as night set in while you two busied yourselves talking.

That was the day you finally gathered the courage to ask Minho about his breakup, desperate to understand why he had appeared so unfazed. After the one-year milestone of their relationship in February, you had begun to make peace with the fact that she would probably be around for a while.

Minho shrugged at your question, hands resting on his stomach while he gnawed on his bottom lip. He explained he was sure that he liked her, but it turned out he valued her as a friend much more than as a girlfriend.

You couldn’t help but scoff at the answer. You knew Minho better than you knew yourself at times, which was why you knew he was lying through his teeth.

“Why did you stay so long with her, then?” You questioned, the resentful lilt in your voice a bit too obvious. You cleared your throat before adding, “I mean, you surely didn’t act as just friends.”

“I guess I felt lonely before,” He explained. “I was selfish for staying with her, but I enjoyed having someone. Was especially nice after…” Minho trailed off, dismissively shaking his head, and you remember being close to throwing him off that roof as he kept being so damn enigmatic.

“After what?” You prodded, “Minho, I’m your best friend. What’s the point of us talking if you’re not gonna tell me the truth?”

He turned his head to look up at you, the darkening sky making his eyes gleam as if they held an entire galaxy of stars. You felt that familiar nervousness return.

“It was nice to not be so alone after so many years of pining after someone.”

You cocked your head to the side, and Minho had the gall to chuckle at your puzzled expression. You shook your head, mumbling to yourself that your conversation was pointless if he wouldn’t tell you the whole truth.

Lying next to him on the mattress with a sigh, you could feel the weight of Minho’s gaze on you. You couldn’t bring yourself to move.

You remember the moon was already high in the sky by the time one of you finally moved — Minho, who slowly inched his hand closer to yours before clasping it tightly in his. Despite your racing heart, you thought nothing of it. He was now single, so it wouldn’t be ludicrous to assume a habit you two had cultivated for many years would naturally return.

However, after some beats from your erratically racing heart, Minho’s fingers intertwined with yours. You had never done that before, always holding hands in a way that all but screamed platonic.

That night, with his thumb caressing your skin and his hand squeezing yours, Minho finally spoke the truth after so long.

“It’s you,” He said, tone nonchalant but voice audibly shaky. “Think I’ve been pining after you since I was nine and ripped my tooth out ‘cause I thought that’d make you stop being sad.”

You remember gasping quietly and his hand tightening around yours as the clock ticked and your silence remained. You remember finally mustering up the courage to turn to look at him and being met by an expression you had rarely seen on Minho’s face in the thirteen years you had known him — he was scared, wide eyes dancing around your face as if he looked for an answer in your features, his chapped lips parted slightly as if he was ready to backtrack the moment he saw any hint of doubt in your eyes.

You remember smiling at him and how his expression shifted into pure confusion. All it took was for him to finally have the nerve to hold your hand in the way he’d always wanted to, and for you to use his courage as a catalyst for your own. You remember how you closed the distance between you two and pressed your lips to his. You remember it feeling weird because you were kissing Minho, your best friend.

But you also remember it feeling right because you were kissing Minho, your best friend.

Your transition from being best friends to being in a relationship was easier than you had ever thought it would be — it was also slower than you could have ever imagined.

Minho never asked you out or confessed his feelings beyond what was said on the roof, and neither did you. It was a shared knowledge between you, a silent agreement that didn’t need words — at least for now. The little gestures and subtle changes left no doubt in your minds that you two were, in fact, no longer just friends — like how you began to always intertwine your fingers while holding hands, or how Minho would pull you onto his lap when you hung out with your friends, or how you would rest your head on his shoulder as he played with your hair during lunch break.

Your friends certainly had questions, the confusion written all over their faces easy to read like a book, but you both knew they also understood your relationship without you needing to make a big deal out of it.

You picked him up from dance class every weekend, sometimes arriving earlier just to catch a glimpse of him through the glass door, as Minho insisted he was too embarrassed to dance in front of you.

One day, thoroughly unprompted, he reached into his backpack as you two exited his dance academy and pulled out a yellow tulip. You had furrowed your brows at the sudden gesture, and Minho nonchalantly told you that planting your favorite flower was surprisingly easy. Since becoming teenagers, you had stopped going to Ms. Kim’s flower shop, and you had long forgotten about how you two used to have your own respective flowers back in the day.

It seemed Minho hadn’t forgotten.

That was one thing you had come to know about him only after you began dating. Although he seemed cold and distant on the outside — rarely communicating his feelings through words — Minho secretly kept a mental note of every little detail about the people he cared about, and he unfailingly found a way to communicate his feelings through actions. Such as promptly handing you a brand-new flower he had picked before you even had the chance to mourn your tulip as it began to wilt.

You, on the other hand, had always been the type of person to communicate through words; spoken, written, or read, which is how you began saving your best daisies from the small garden you created in your backyard and practicing your flower arrangement skills exclusively by making pretty bouquets you could gift to Minho (always with little notes hidden among the flowers).

Your once explicitly platonic roof dates also left no room for doubt, as making out under your usual tent became a hard-to-break habit. In fact, that was how your family found out about your relationship. You were eighteen, with graduation just around the corner, when your mother caught Minho kissing you as tears welled up in your eyes at the thought of having to be apart from him during college (although you both knew that would never be the case, as you always moved mountains simply to stay together).

Everything was slow-paced, and neither of you had any desire to rush anything. Once, Minho told you he had waited eight years to finally kiss you, and somehow, that anticipation was what had made it all the more special.

And so, your first proper date only happened six months after your first kiss, and your first fight only happened a year and a half into your relationship. Not to mention your first I love you, which had been a slip-up that happened only in your first year of college after a drunken night with Chan and Minho. Your head on his lap, your tulip nestled among his daisies in a pretty vase on the coffee table as Chan hummed along to some song that came from his phone. You felt as if your entire being was filled with pure gratitude at that moment, and the liquid courage that flowed through your veins only helped you mutter out how much you loved Minho.

He looked down at you, hands cupping your cheeks with a silly smile adorning his face, and simply answered, “Well, I love you more.”

Your carefree attitude toward your relationship was almost a contrast to the one you had with your friendship. You and Minho had met so young that you could never truly pinpoint when you had become such close friends. You always wondered if that was what led you two to be so easygoing with what most people rush into. Things happened when they were supposed to happen.

You remember one of Minho’s new friends, Changbin, asking something about your sex life at some party during freshman year, and you two nonchalantly answering that you didn’t really have one. Your friends’ shock was understandable, but you and Minho only laughed.

Things happened when they were supposed to happen.

It was Minho’s 21st birthday, when your flowers were no longer in bloom, but your love remained blossoming like it was mid-spring. He had, as always, vetoed any and every plan of a celebration suggested by your friends. He opted to stay in with you, cuddling under a blanket fort like you had been doing for so many years. Chan graciously offered to sleep at a friend’s dorm, leaving your small shared apartment just for you and Minho.

He hadn’t planned for anything to happen, and neither had you. You were simply lying together, watching the flickering of the candles you had set up around the coffee table, recounting the innumerable memories you shared when you suddenly felt the earnest, all-consuming need to have Minho as close as possible.

It was clumsy, both of you inexperienced and nervous. Your teeth crashed together and your hands gripped each other tightly, the realization of the intensity of your yearning becoming undeniable. At some point, the entire tent collapsed on top of you, and laughter filled the room for a brief moment before being replaced by your sighs and whispered moans.

It wasn’t perfect, but it was you and Minho.

Graduation day was a blur in your mind.

It had all started with Minho and Chan drunk at eleven a.m., offering you the awful-tasting omelet they had cooked in your cramped kitchen. They then went on to zone out for most of the ceremony after stumbling out of your apartment.

You approached Minho after he was done taking pictures and getting scolded by his family for being drunk on his graduation day, his mother giving you an apologetic look as you whisked him away.

“You’re stressed,” you pointed out.

“Yeah.”

“Me too,” you replied with a sigh, resting against a large tree far enough away from the hustle and bustle of recently graduated students and crying families. “So is Chan. Don’t think I’ve seen him this drunk since Jisung’s birthday party last year.”

Minho chuckled, shifting on his feet and toying with the fabric of his gown. You furrowed your brows; he only ever got fidgety when hiding something. You learned that for the first time when you were thirteen and he had to wait until your birthday to tell you he’d gotten you two tickets to see your favorite band, and again when he had to keep Chan’s then-girlfriend’s plans of asking him to move in together a secret.

“You’re not nervous ‘cause of graduation, are you?”

You remember the way he stilled almost immediately.

“We always tell each other the truth, right?” He asked.

You remember the way your whole world spun as he pulled out a small box from his pocket and how everything seemed to fade into a white mist that surrounded Minho like a spotlight as he proposed to you.

Your wedding was small — both because that was how you had wanted it to be and because of your lack of money for a proper party.

After graduating, Minho became a dance teacher at the academy he attended as a teen, teaching little kids who he said always reminded him of you two. You used the money your parents had saved for you to travel after college to buy the old flower shop that held so many memories from your childhood. Neither of you used your degrees, and neither of you made a lot of money, but you were overflowing with an infatuation for life and a love for each other so great that it made up for any silly inconvenience that dared to come up.

The ceremony was held at a local church — although neither of you was particularly religious, that was the cheapest place available. You opted to walk down the aisle together; hands clasped the way you used to do for many years while walking home from school. Minho held onto a daisy bouquet you made, while you held the single tulip he had picked out for you that day.

“I’m not good with words,” was how Minho began his vows, the glow of the fairy lights and candles adorning the church rendering his attempt at hiding his tears futile. That was the first time you had ever seen him cry in the twenty-one years you’d known him. “But I think that never mattered with you. You know me better than I know myself. Most times, I don’t even have to say a word, and you’ll still understand me. It’s been this way since we were four, and you understood why I was so quiet, and you still chose to be my friend. Thank you for understanding me, and thank you for allowing me to love you. Loving you is what I do best and look how lucky I am; I’ve been able to do it for my whole life.” He then shot you a grin, the back of his hand wiping away your tears. He ended his speech with a line that was so very Minho, thought up with sincerity but spoken primarily to make you smile. “You’ve always felt like home, and I can’t wait to feel that way until we’re both food for the worms to eat.”

You had never cried so much as you did on the day of your wedding — which was remarkable, seeing as you’d been a crier your whole life. You remember the irony of it all; Minho, who had never been good with words, telling you about his love with words that came from his heart and spilled from his lips without any rehearsal, while you were rendered speechless and too emotional to even attempt to form a coherent sentence.

Your wedding vow was a simple, choked-up, “Thank you for being my best friend, Minho.”

Minho carried you home from the church, with your cheeks flushing pink and his smile beaming as your friends made rice cascade around the two of you like snow. It turned out the boy who hated attention didn’t mind the spotlight so long as it meant showing off his love for you.

Your honeymoon was spent in your small house above your flower shop — which you named Daisy’s Tulips — where you cuddled under a blanket fort the entire day, only leaving the comfort of the pillows and fluffy covers well after midnight to adorn the sidewalk in front of your house in a brand new chalk drawing.

“Can you imagine if we never said anything?” Minho suddenly wondered aloud, his chuckle echoing through the quiet street. “We were both pretty good at hiding our feelings for so long.”

And you simply shook your head, painting a daisy with white chalk on the sidewalk. “Minho, I know you. You wouldn’t have let me keep pretending after finding out I liked you too.”

“Who says I would have found out?”

“You said it yourself,” you explained, “I know you better than you know yourself, and that’s reciprocal. You would’ve found out ‘cause I can never hide anything from you.”

And Minho smiled, taking your hand in his just as you were done with your drawing. Your gaze shifted toward him, and you admired the man he had become. From the shy little boy who sat beside you to the quiet teenager with thick glasses to the man he had grown into; you loved every version of Minho you had the privilege to meet throughout your life, and you were certain you would love every new version of him you came to know in the future as well.

“Of course you can’t,” he stated matter-of-factly. “I’m your best friend, aren’t I?” He asked with a grin, and you nodded. He then added, “Thank you for being my best friend.”

♡ taglist: @bloom-ings, @linocz, @farahia, @mirbokk, @jisunglyricist

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jenscx · 5 months

Text

BET ON IT — ahn yujin x f!reader

stereotypical jock ahn yujin is given a bet by her friends; take you, one of the smartest students in school, on a date. too bad you’re aware of the bet.

TAGS — literally all fluff, jock!yujin, yuj gets rejected a lot, popular x kinda nerd trope, ice hockey players r so fine, cursing

WORDCOUNT — 4.3k

when you first stepped into your new class, the tall brunette girl sitting at the back had caught your eye. she was wearing a varsity jacket and on her face adorned a boyish grin.

your cheeks had heated up when she sent a glance your way, and that’s when you realised, you had just found your newest object of infatuation. ahn yujin was just another hallway crush, blending into the crowd of high schoolers and standing out when she passed by your locker. she was eye candy for you and whenever you would see her, your day got significantly better.

once you were more settled in the school, you found out that yujin was unobtainable. way out of your league. a typical jock with a scholarship to an ivy league school. one that cared for neither studies nor academics. her only passion? playing ice hockey and with people’s hearts.

you had realised the latter when passing by a toilet cubicle. the sobs inside were too emotional and excruciating to ignore. despite your best efforts, your fist ended up knocking on the door and you had asked, “are you okay in there?”

inside of the cubicle was a girl, sobbing her eyes out. apparently, ahn yujin had promised to take her out on a date and even invited her back to her house but ended up ditching her. you had frowned, you could never have imagined the puppy-like girl you saw on the first day doing such a thing.

your infatuation for her slowly disappeared as you heard more and more stories of the atrocious things she would do to people. stomping on flowers, laughing at confessions and spreading rumours about people. ahn yujin was an asshole and a jerk. unfortunately she was an attractive one.

“y/n,” jiwon whispers, “is the answer x equals to negative five?”

you look up from your worksheet, for which you had doodled ahn yujin’s familiar smirk and quickly covered it.

“no. my answer is positive five. i think you made a mistake in the quadratic formula,” you explain, taking a peek at jiwon’s working. jiwon frowns and a shadow appears next to your desk.

the shadow actually startles you slightly. since the end of year examinations were nearing, lessons meant for teaching content were swapped to self-study sessions. normally, not a single person would move around, in fear of jeopardising their grades to fool around with friends.

thus, you were extremely confused as to why ahn yujin stood next to your table, eyes crinkling in a smile.

“hi,” she says, “i wanted to ask, how did you get a positive five for your answer?”

you can only stare at her in shock. due to her scholarship being on the line, you had thought yujin would have the top students tutoring her, as she had to keep an average of 70% for every semester.

so why was she talking to you now? wasn’t jang wonyoung a better option to ask?

“uhm, i think you forgot to…” you stare at her worksheet, “times 2 to the denominator.”

yujin’s eyes widen and you can’t lie that it’s adorable. jiwon shifts next to you nervously and you place a hand over hers, comforting her nerves.

“thanks! i owe you one!”

“oh… there’s no need…”

before you can even complete your sentence, she bounces back to her seat and smiles brightly at you. a quick whip of your head faces you with jiwon.

“did ahn yujin just talk to you?” she mumbles.

you rub the back of your neck, “i guess she did.”

for the first time in three years, you felt your feelings of infatuation resurface. ahn yujin, the girl at the top of your school’s social pyramid, just talked to you? and looked adorable while doing it?

and what does she mean by ‘she owes you’?

you just hoped it wouldn’t interfere with your studies. yujin was an enigma, one that would need countless hours of observation and detailed assessments to figure out her true colours. was her playboy act all a facade? or was this nice and cute classmate that you had actually just another one of her acting personalities to get what she wanted?

there were so many questions in your head that you didn’t even notice the bell ringing.

jiwon pulls you up and links your arms together, flashing a smile which snaps you out of your daydream.

“let’s go meet rei,” she says. you nod in agreement and let yourself be pulled all the way to the cafeteria. only at the table, you realise that you had left your phone back in the classroom.

rei had soon joined the table and you stood up abruptly.

“i left my phone in class, i’ll be back soon!” you inform your friends who wave you off. a quick few steps and you had arrived back at the classroom. notably, it was empty as students had all crammed to the cafeteria for a quick break before going back into revision.

except for the trio that sat at the back.

you raise your eyebrows and instantly recognise the smirk and brown hair of ahn yujin. she had kim gaeul and jang wonyoung sitting beside her, both of which had questioning looks on their face.

without much thought, you were planning to just walk in and take your phone swiftly. yet, the mutter of your name had made you pause in your steps.

“what was that with y/n during class?” wonyoung asks, head tilting in curiosity.

“what was what?”

gaeul scoffs, “you definitely knew how to do that question.”

“hm, did i? didn’t i look more like a stupid jock just needing assistance from one of the top scorers?” yujin laughs.

“you literally have me, the actual top scorer. y/n isn’t so stupid to buy your whole act. she’s actually a challenge,” wonyoung says. despite them discussing your intelligence in the open, you felt pride simmer at wonyoung thinking you were too smart to fall for yujin’s tricks.

“watch me.”

“okay… if she agrees on a date by the end of this month,” gaeul picks at her fingernails, “lunch is on me for the rest of the year.”

yujin chuckles, “it’ll be too easy.”

“and don’t fall for her,” wonyoung adds.

“still easy. this will be the easiest bet of my life.”

you hear the chair scraping against the floor afterwards. still debating on whether to retrieve your phone, you decide to ponder on what the bet entailed for you.

so one, yujin was definitely still a jerk. two, you would have to agree to a date by the end of the month for her to win. and three, she had no idea that you knew of this secret agreement.

huh.

you smile, finally having the upper hand over yujin for once. maybe this bet would teach yujin a lesson and help you live out your young fantasies.

“y/n!” you almost instinctively start to walk faster at the sound of yujin’s voice. all eyes turned to look at you and jiwon’s grip on your wrist tightened.

“good morning,” you nod. in one hand, a chocolate milk carton and in the other, a chemistry textbook.

yujin smiles sheepishly at you, “i was wondering… were you free this afternoon to tutor me in chemistry? i heard you were the top student of our year—”

“i’m not. wonyoung is,” you reply firmly. yujin falters for a second before bouncing back, “she isn’t free today since she has student council duties. i already tried asking her!”

if you didn’t know about the bet, you genuinely would have believed her convincing act.

“ah, well, i’m not free today.”

“oh? why?”

you gesture to jiwon, “going on a date!”

at that point, you hadn’t realised the impact of your words. those four words changed the trajectory of your life.

“d-date?!” yujin gapes.

you thought she looked like a fish. meanwhile, jiwon was desperately trying to drag you away from the crowd that was forming to witness ahn yujin being rejected.

“yup. so i can’t help you,” you say and wave goodbye to yujin, who stays rooted to the ground, almost jaw-dropped. truly, this was amusing. her reaction was terribly funny, considering that she had never once in her life been rejected before. and for you to be the one to do so? amazing.

yet, jiwon didn’t find it funny and began cursing you for ruining her school year. once word got out that her best friend was the one who rejected yujin, she would not be able to live a peaceful life.

this cycle of rejection only continued despite jiwon’s attempts to hide you from yujin. the requests ranged from, “can you help me with calculus?” to, “there was a new tteokbokki store that opened near school, wanna go together?”

you soon realised that yujin was determined to win this bet. with the countless amount of sweet post-it notes taped to chocolate milk cartons that appeared on your desk every morning… how could you not?

yujin had willpower, you acknowledged that fact. it was just a shame that you had overheard the conversation. maybe she would have actually won the bet by now.

while you were gloating about yujin’s loss, the jock was almost heartbroken with the number of futile attempts.

“she just isn’t falling for it!” yujin exclaims.

wonyoung raises an eyebrow, “i told you she isn’t that stupid. and your methods are so lame.”

“i thought they were cute,” yujin sniffles, pouting. the mere thought of her not being able to persuade a girl was devastating. this would mess up her reputation! she wasn’t the one who chased others!

“you’re not winning this bet,” gaeul states, snickering at yujin’s misfortune.

yujin, despite their claims, was still persistent in trying to get a date. it didn’t matter what she needed to do, she would do it. anything to win this bet.

she couldn’t lose her hard-built reputation as a heartbreaker. that was crazy. if she had to get down on her knees to beg…

well yujin might just consider it.

unbeknownst to the things yujin would do for a date with you, you walk with jiwon peacefully, almost reaching the front gate when your best friend halts.

“ah,” jiwon says out of the blue, “I can’t go home with you today. i need to show the new exchange students around school.” you frown but nodded anyway.

“i’ll see you tomorrow then?�� you ask. jiwon sends a smile and quickly walks back to the school doors. you sigh, taking out your airpods when a tap on your shoulder spins you around.

ahn yujin again.

“hi,” she flashes a grin, “mind if i walk with you?”

“don’t you normally go that way?” you point in the opposite direction. yujin turns her head and laughs, “so you’ve been observing me?”

you think for a moment. “no, but your fanclub is waiting there for you.”

like you said, a group of girls and boys alike were standing at the other gate, eyes darting around for yujin. she tilts her head, reminiscent of your puppy back at home, and says, “i’m walking this way so i don’t get bombarded by them.”

“fair enough,” you take out your airpods again and try to drown out yujin’s attempts at conversation.

“hey!” she continuously taps you on the shoulder. you ignore her.

“don’t ignore me!” you do that.

“y/n-ssi..!”

ugh. you think. who the hell said that yujin was like a puppy? (you.) she was more like a parrot that couldn’t shut up.

“yujin-ssi,” you huff, “keep quiet.”

said girl just turns to you with a pout. eyes glistening with hope when you falter ever so slightly. with a sigh, you take out your airpods and raise an eyebrow.

“okay, i won’t ignore you anymore.”

“great! i was wondering,” yujin pauses, a hint of hesitation in her voice that you’ve never heard before, “do you wanna grab lunch together? wonyoung heard from jiwon that you liked the cafe nearby, i’ll pay.”

your voice wavers, “uh, sure.” no one could blame you; your favourite cafe paired with a free meal? anyone would have accepted (regardless of the puppy-like girl who shrieked in excitement).

“great!” yujin discreetly grabs your wrist, pulling you to walk faster. slightly taken aback, you willingly let yourself be pulled away.

on the way there, the typically chirpy yujin doesn’t say a word and instead keeps quiet. it’s only until you both find a seat in the cafe that she speaks up.

“y/n-ssi, do you hate me or something?” you watch as the jock twirls the fork in her hand, eyes gleaming with curiosity. perhaps she’s never experienced being rejected before.

“you’re just too much for me.”

“oh? what do you mean by that?”

you choose your next words wisely, “it’s a bit strange to have someone popular talk to someone so mediocre.”

yujin’s head snaps up, fury in her eyes. you think she’s about to storm out, offended by your words. yet, she grasps your hands into hers, passionately saying, “how could you be mediocre?! y/n-ssi, you’re like the most intelligent person in our grade, and you’re super nice and helpful too!”

you feel relieved. her outburst was just defending you. giggles escape your lips as you reply back, “nice and helpful? after rejecting you so often?”

the sight of yujin’s cheeks being flushed makes you marvel. it’s a rare sight to see the jock so flustered. she’s usually so composed and witty.

“ah… i was a bit insistent and annoying, i understand why y/n-ssi avoided me…” yujin mumbles shyly, letting your hands drop onto the table. your hands feel cold without yujin’s warmth but you quickly diminish that thought.

stop it, yujin is just playing with you.

you straighten up naturally, catching yourself before replying with anything flirty. you had to remember that yujin’s primary reason for talking to you was because of the bet.

unfortunately for you, yujin notices your change in demeanour.

“are you okay?”

“yeah,” you eye her carefully, “i’m just hungry.”

yujin sends you a toothy grin and starts another conversation. you end up talking about her puppy, azzo, her ice hockey training and your art portfolio before the food arrives. you realise even though ahn yujin was a stereotypical jock, she was probably smarter than most.

“y/n-ssi, can i call you unnie?”

you raise your eyebrow, “how do you know my birthday?”

yujin looks startled. frazzled, she quickly replies, “i just asked wonyoung… she’s close friends with jiwon…!”

“doing background checks on me?” you say, stuffing your mouth with the red velvet cake in front of you.

“no… maybe, yes? i was just curious!”

“you just want to talk informally, don’t you, yujin?”

the jock bows her head down, you hate how you find it cute.

“yeah… you caught me.”

you smile, “okay, you can call me unnie.”

it’s like yujin just won the lottery with the way she’s grinning. you would tease her even more but it’s better not to get attached to her.

after this month, she wouldn’t even bat an eye at you.

soon, you finish up your cake and yujin does too. when paying, you sense yujin’s impatience and chalk it off to being her realising that you wouldn’t wield so easily. shrugging it off, you try your best to make a quick exit before yujin drags you to somewhere else again.

after paying, you swiftly leave the cafe, only to be caught in yujin’s grasp again.

“unnie, can we exchange contact info?” her eyes are shining now. you hesitantly nod and hand her your phone.

yujin 🐶 [4.38pm]:

yn unnie! ^^

“there! i sent you a message,” yujin exclaims, “where’s your house? i’ll walk you home!”

“huh?! no… yujin, you should go home, i can walk by myself…”

the puppy-like girl only pouts. you’re mostly helpless to her, unable to really say no to a face like hers.

“unnie, i need to know if you reached home safely! bad guys would obviously kidnap a girl as pretty as you!” yujin scoffs. you try to hide your blush as you finally nod again.

yujin brightens up and takes your hand into hers, “let’s go!”

you feel bad for the younger girl; she was usually the one who played with other people’s feelings and now, she didn’t even realise that she’s the one getting played with. you wonder if yujin has ever seen the aftermath of her entertainment. would she be shocked that she caused someone so much pain? or would she just laugh?

the closer you got to your doorstep, the more you didn’t want to leave yujin. fuck, you think, that’s a bad sign.

how did yujin manage to attract you in only a day?

what the hell type of sorcery was she using?

“thank you for walking me home,” you bow, “send me a text when you get home too.” yujin nods but she stares at you expectantly. maybe she wanted you to invite her into your house?

that wasn’t going to happen though.

“uhm,” you mumble unintelligently. not even giving it a second thought, you quickly plant a kiss on yujin’s cheek and run into your house, slamming the door behind you.

what the fuck! you and yujin both think, your hand covering your mouth, shocked that you even did that. meanwhile, yujin traces the outline of your lips on her cheek with her fingertips, her face resembling a tomato the longer she stands outside your door.

yujin 🐶 [5.02pm]:

unnie…? ㅠㅠ

yn unnie 🤍 [5.03pm]:

IM SINSORYR

I DID IT WITHOUT THINKJNG

yujin 🐶 [5.03pm]:

ure too mean…

kissing me then slamming the door

yn unnie 🤍 [5.03pm]:

im sorry yuj

yujin 🐶 [5.04pm]:

ur lips r so soft tho?

do u use the laniege lip mask? ㅋㅋ

yn unnie 🤍 [5.04pm]:

what are u saying…

go home…

yujin 🐶 [5.04pm]:

yes ma’am!

(￣^￣)ゞ

ah fuck, you flop onto the couch, cheeks aflame, ahn yujin, i think you’re winning that bet.

it’s an early morning, gaeul hums happily, bathing in the sunlight. sometimes she’s glad that she has the window seat, when the sun rises and sets, she gets to watch it all. other times she’s not so grateful. like when it rains heavily and the raindrops splash at her.

life is great—

“yah, kim gaeul.”

the girl opens her eyes, facing an irritating sight; an ashamed ahn yujin. she only looked like that when her suitors yell at her, or when her mother nags her for her grades.

having known yujin for years, it was probably the former.

“which girl was it now?” gaeul huffs.

“y/n unnie.”

gaeul almost falls off her chair, did yujin win the bet? already worrying about her pocket money for the year, gaeul ignores everything yujin says, not until she hears, “i want to call the bet off.”

“what?!” she shrieks, “she didn’t agree to a date?”

yujin shakes her head, deflated but not for the reasons you’d imagine.

“i didn’t ask her on one,” she explains, “because… it didn’t feel right to do something so reckless.”

gaeul widens her eyes, naturally gesturing for yujin to continue. how could something like asking a girl on a date scare yujin? it was second nature to her at this point!

“asking y/n unnie on a date…” yujin’s gaze feels dreamy now and gaeul thinks she’s staring at a different person, “ah… it feels wrong to do it now..?”

“why? you wanted to win the bet though?”

yujin’s gaze hardens, “the bet isn’t as important as her.”

“y-yujin?! you’re saying that…”

“gaeul unnie, i like y/n.”

there’s no need to further explain. ahn yujin, the typical high school jock, falling for a girl that she only talked to for her own entertainment. how did she even manage to fall for you? yujin doesn’t know it herself. maybe it was after that day at the cafe, when you actually showed interest in her life. maybe it was the many online conversations you had with her, talking about mundane things. maybe it was the first day you locked eyes, yujin subconsciously always kept an eye on you afterwards.

or maybe it was all of that combined.

you tap your feet nervously on the bench. after you had kissed yujin’s cheek, she always brought it up, genuinely asking why your lips were so soft or even boldly declaring that she wanted another. maybe because it was rare for you to be so affectionate. even with jiwon and rei, skinship wasn’t so common. honestly, you weren’t sure what you were even doing with yujin. after many midnight conversations, you would consider you two friends. or perhaps even close friends.

yujin had forced you to wait for her to finish practice so she could walk you home. it was almost a routine at that point. there was some speculation of you two dating and you could imagine how happy that made yujin feel. yet mysteriously, yujin hadn’t made any super flirtatious advancements on you. the month was ending soon and the bet would end in her loss. so why wasn’t she doing anything? (not that you wanted her to do anything).

“y/n,” you turn your head. why on earth was kim gaeul and jang wonyoung staring at you from behind?

“yes…?”

the two girls glance at each other and rush up to you. you were currently standing outside yujin’s ice rink, watching her play hockey with her teammates. sometimes while playing a game, she would score and send you a wink. even through the helmet, you could see her mouth, ‘this is for you!’ it was embarrassing and cheesy but you still ended up flustered, covering your red face with your hair.

“we have something we need to tell you,” wonyoung starts off.

gaeul nods earnestly, “we’re very sorry but…”

you realise where this is going.

“ah, is this about the bet you guys and yujin made about me?”

wonyoung and gaeul both have their mouths agape, eyebrows furrowed. you almost laugh at their reaction.

“h-how did you know?!”

“i overheard you guys that day, i was going to get my phone but then i heard my name. sorry for eavesdropping.”

“no! we should be sorry for making that bet! but, if you already knew about it, why are you still hanging out with yujin?” wonyoung asks.

you chuckle, “i just wanted to see what she was planning to do. it was plain curiosity.”

“ah! but yujin likes you!” gaeul blurts out.

huh…?

“what?!”

“yeah! she told me a few days ago, that’s why she called the bet off,” the girl says. wonyoung groans, muttering about how gaeul shouldn’t have revealed that.

you absentmindedly say, “i like her too…”

the subject of your conversation immediately butts in, “you like who?”

you instantly clamp your mouth shut, heartbeat in your ears as you turn to face yujin. luckily you weren’t so out of it yet, if you were, you wouldn’t be able to control blurting out how handsome yujin looked in her gear. even brushing the ice off her jersey looked attractive to you.

“gaeul unnie, isn’t it time for us to leave?” wonyoung briskly drags gaeul out of the ice rink, leaving just you and yujin inside.

“aren’t you going to change?” you ask, facing a different direction from the jock before she manages to fluster you.

“i saw my two idiot friends talking to you, so i came here first,” she says, plopping down on the bench too.

“what were you guys even talking about?”

“oh… we were, uhm,” you stare at your lap, on top, your fingers playing with each other.

yujin senses you hesitate and places a hand on top of yours, holding it tightly.

“talking about… the bet you made about me,” you gulp, anticipating a huge, overblown reaction. you close your eyes but you don’t hear anything from yujin.

the silence begins to become worrying and you open your eyes, only to see yujin barely breathing, her eyes blown open and a pale face.

“unnie, i’m so sorr—”

“i’m not mad!” you quickly say, “i sort of had a crush on you on the first day of school, so having you interested in me, regardless of the bet, i mean, it made me feel good.”

“you had a crush on me?” yujin questions.

“yeah? like a hallway crush.”

“you’re seriously not mad about the bet?”

you shrug, “i was at first. but then your friends told me something.”

the girl’s body becomes stiff, more stiff than when you told her about your knowledge of the bet.

“they told me you like me, that’s what we were talking about before you came over,” you turn to her, “yujin-ah, is it true?”

yujin nods shyly.

“they’re so annoying… i wanted to have this cool confession but, ugh, unnie, i really wasn’t expecting myself to like you. is it crazy to say i’m happy that i made that bet? because it let me become closer to you?”

“yujin, before i accept your confession…” her eyes light up again, “can you tell me why you treated all those girls like that?”

“you mean…”

“you played with their hearts, how can i be sure that you won’t play with mine?” you ask.

yujin sighs, “honestly, i don’t know either but unnie, i need you to trust me that i like you a lot. i like you so much that i don’t know how to live through a day without thinking about you. everytime i experience something, i want to share it with you. please let me show my love for you.”

love… you smile, gently removing yujin’s helmet.

“you’re already thinking about love?”

yujin’s hair is unkempt, her bangs are swept messily, blocking her eyes slightly. yet, you can still see the whole galaxy in her eyes.

reaching out for her jaw, you pull her closer.

“ahn yujin, if you ever play with me, you’re dead.”

your lips are almost touching and you can feel her breath. almost panting already, yujin breathes out.

“there’s no point living if you’re not by my side.”

#ive #ive x reader #ahn yujin x reader #yujin x reader #ive yujin

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roosterforme · 2 months

Text

Beer Boy and Sugar: The Second Lost Year (Bradley Bradshaw x Reader)

Part of the Lost Years series for Beer Boy and Sugar

Warnings: language, longing, angst (series fits chronologically between Old Habits Die Hard and Right Girl, Wrong Time)

Banner by @mak-32

Year Two

Bradley dropped down on his bed and started to untie his boots while Nat looked around at everything on his desk. They were both about to start flying solo now, and it was such a relief that she was advancing in the program with him. It brought him a little bit of joy every time they left the others in the dust.

"I always liked this thing," she remarked, poking his Navy desk lamp as he set his boots under his bed. "You said it was your dad's, right?"

"Yeah. Makes it vintage," he replied with a grin as he lounged back on his pillows, already thinking about dinner in the mess hall. It was hot as hell outside, especially by Rhode Island standards, and it made him miss Virginia a little bit. "Are you ready for dinner?"

She groaned. "It's too hot to go outside and walk all the way to get food. Your air conditioner works better than mine, too. Can't we just stay in here?"

His stomach growled as he said, "All I got is some protein bars and instant mac and cheese. And I'm starving."

Nat started to poke at the book he was currently reading as she said, "I'll order us a pizza."

This was something he'd never get used to, even though he considered her his best friend. She always seemed to have money from her parents, and he had basically nothing. But she continually offered to share her food with him. Bradley wasn't exactly sure what he brought to this friendship, but she seemed to enjoy having him around, so he didn't bring it up.

"Fine," he agreed.

This seemed to make her happy as she fished her phone out of her pocket. "You want your usual topping choice?"

Bradley froze with his fingers pushed back in his messy hair. At first, he always ordered his pizza that way, because that's how you liked it. Now Nat thought it was his preference. But maybe it actually was?

"Yeah," he replied softly. "Please."

Then he listened to her call it in while his thoughts drifted back to Virginia. He hadn't seen or heard from you in fourteen months, but he'd thought about you every single day. It hurt a little less now, but all the feelings were still there. He still looked at all the pictures he had saved on his phone. He thought about you when he touched himself. He still hadn't slept with anyone else since you.

"Why would you keep a differential equations notebook from UVA?" Nat mused, but he was barely listening to her as he thought about your body curled up against his while you wore his Grateful Dead shirt. "Did you even take advanced math?"

When he finally registered what she said, he sat up in his bed and saw her holding your purple notebook. The one with all the doodles and love notes in the margins, and he felt like he was back in the study room with you on his lap. The breath was knocked from his lugs as a sheet of loose, folded paper fell onto her lap, and she picked it up and started to read it out loud.

"Dear Beer Boy,

I'm bored in my calculus lecture, and I just started thinking about your bedroom door. It's still the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life. Maybe you and I could wait until the middle of the night when all of your fraternity brothers are asleep and sneak out into the hallway and-"

Bradley lunged out of bed and grabbed the note from her hand before she could see the rest. "What the fuck, Nat? That's personal!"

Her dark brown eyes were as wide as saucers as she said, "That was from her."

He knew she was kind of mystified by you, given that he only shared details of the happiest months of his adult life sparingly. She always asked for more information when he mentioned you, always wanted to know more. But Bradley felt like the magic would wear off the more he talked about you, so he always kept it brief. He also knew he wasn't going to get away with saying nothing right now.

"Yeah," he grunted, taking the purple notebook from her hands and returning the folded note to the back pages. The sight of your handwriting filled him with a deep need for you. "And this was her notebook."

Nat's voice was gentle, as if she was trying not to spook him when she asked, "Why did she like your door so much?"

Bradley closed his eyes and laughed quietly. "I painted over all the other girls' names and phone numbers. For her. Or for myself. I don't really know anymore."

Now her eyes were narrowed when he looked at her again. "'All the other girls'. Holy shit, Bradshaw. Were you some sort of fuckboy in college?"

He leaned back against his pillows again as he groaned, "Basically." He didn't really like thinking about it, because that hadn't been him for a long time now. "Before Sugar."

She took her phone out again, and Bradley desperately wished the pizza would arrive so this conversation could end. But Nat asked, "What was her last name again? I want to know exactly what she looks like."

He whispered the word, loving the feel of it on his tongue as he took his own phone out. He located the picture of him with his arm around your shoulders that Dev took the week before graduation. Your smile was too pretty, and your face was too perfect. There was a reason he had to limit himself, and the onslaught of feelings was proof of why: He wasn't over you yet.

"Here," he muttered, stretching his arm out to hand his phone to Nat, but she gasped as she looked at her own phone.

"She's gorgeous. I found her Instagram account."

"You did?" he asked, launching himself off of the bed and forcefully switching phones with her. She gasped again as she looked at the photo on his phone, but Bradley was too busy staring at the tiny thumbnail of your smiling face. Your account was set to private, but this photo must have been more recent. Your hair was styled differently, and the only thing he could process was that he felt relieved you were posing alone instead of with some other guy. He didn't want to have to put a face to that.

He thought about taking a screenshot and texting it to himself, but he couldn't. He wouldn't. And when Nat asked if he wanted her to send you a friend request, he said absolutely not. "You think I want her to know I still think about her every day? No."

Then she said, "But maybe she still thinks about you."

Bradley didn't see how that was a possibility.

The pizza finally arrived just then, and Nat stood to go get it. She gave him a cautious hug and said, "I think she would be proud of you." She left him alone with both phones in his hands, and somehow he knew it would be easier to talk about you now if he wanted to.

------------------------

It was mind blowing. Three months ago, Chicago was freezing cold and practically encased in ice. Now it was blazing hot to the point that you couldn't get any relief unless you were inside your dorm room. It was Friday, thank goodness. Everyone in your graduate studies group wanted to go out for deep dish pizza tonight, and you had to figure out a way to stop sweating long enough to actually get dressed in something other than the shorts and tank you were wearing now.

You groaned as you carried your computer and textbooks across campus in your backpack. You had the highest grades out of all of the math graduate students, but you still took everything with you everywhere in case you had some extra time to study. But you should have left everything in your room instead on this sweltering day.

The quad was packed with tables and students participating in a career fair, but for some reason, this was where Jared asked you to meet up. Four dates with him, and you still weren't convinced it was a good idea to take things out of the friend zone. Four dates, and you still didn't really want to do anything besides kiss him. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with him, he just wasn't exactly right.

"Hey!"

As soon as you heard Jared calling out for you, your initial reaction was to hide. You were absolutely going to have to tell him you didn't want to see him anymore, and it mostly made you mad that it would probably disrupt your friend group.

"Hi," you replied as he squeezed through the crowd to get to you. And then he slipped his sweaty hand in yours, and you actually cringed. Why wasn't this what you wanted? After nearly a year, he wore you down enough that you gave it a try, but this was decidedly bad. Especially since you could picture exactly what you did want.

When you looked up at Jared's face, your gaze drifted to your left. You gasped and dropped his hand immediately. There were recruiters from the Navy. They were wearing flight suits. You caught a glimpse of wavy brown hair and a flash of dark eyes, and you were off.

Jared was calling after you as you fought through the crowd, catching glimpses here and there of broad shoulders and a handsome smile. Oh my god, he was here. Somehow, he was here. Like he'd just climbed out of your dreams and into the University of Chicago campus.

"Bradley!"

Your voice rang out, but he didn't fully turn your way. You rushed a little faster, no longer caring if you knocked someone into one of the tables.

"Bradley!"

But you stumbled as you reached the recruiters, and your smile evaporated from your lips. Tears stung at your eyes as he turned to face you, leaving your heart filled with disappointment.

"Hey, there. I'm Lieutenant Chapman," he said with a grin, and you honestly didn't know how you could have been mistaken. His eyes were hazel, and his hair was too curly, and now you were standing there feeling like you'd just broken your own heart all over again. The disappointment could smother you if you let it.

You nodded and turned away as sweat dripped down your chest and an awful feeling settled into your stomach. You made your way back through the crowd at a much slower pace with no real desire to talk to Jared, but you reached him all too soon.

"What happened?" he asked, grabbing your hand again.

You looked at the ground and tried to hide your tears as he squeezed your hand tighter. "Sorry. I thought I saw an old friend."

He just made an impatient noise and asked, "You ready to go get changed and grab some pizza with everyone else? I thought we could ditch them early and maybe go back to my room and watch a movie? And like hang out... on my bed?"

His voice was distressingly hopeful. You wanted to say no. You knew you should. But you kept your eyes fixed on the ground as you said, "Sounds good," with almost no conviction. You wanted to get past this, so you needed to actually start trying.

-----------------------

Make it stop hurting. Or don't. I don't know. They must both already know they belong together. Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in the rest of this series!

@beyondthesefourwalls @thedroneranger @cherrycola27 @sorchathered @mamachasesmayhem @attapullman @bobgasm @desert-fern @startrekfangirl2233 @shanimallina87 @sylviebell @wkndwlff @horseslovers2016 @sadpetalsstuff @schoollover @jessicab1991 @lex-winchester @bellaireland1981 @sagittarius-flowerchild @marvelouslyme96 @trickphotography2 @goldenseresinretriever @rascallyrascals @auroracaroline @nerdgirljen @redbarn1995 @theweekndhistorybook @averyhotchner @moon42flight @eli2447 @lyn-js @na-ta-sh-aa @mygyn @je-suis-prest-rachel @kcloveswrestling @imnotcreativeenoughforthisblog @callsign-magnolia @eternalsams @lynnestra44 @shinzowosasageyoooo @tgmreader @princessofglitterland @backupbrii @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @averyhotchner @hookslove1592 @callsigns-haze

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hyunjinspark · 8 months

Text

star lost with you | hyunjin au | part 17

pairing: idol! hyunjin x artist! reader

genre: friends to lovers, so much angst, smut, fluff, set in the idolverse, mutual pining, unrequited love, forbidden romance, slowburn (!!!) soulmate au, star-crossed lovers

synopsis: working in a quaint little art store, you’ve had the honor of meeting all kinds of people, but you’ve never met somebody like him. there were many reasons hyunjin returned to his hometown; a getaway from the ephemeral and fast-paced life of the city, so he could fall in love with life again. he thought he was prepared for everything, to study art in the way that he’s always wanted to, but what he didn’t anticipate was meeting you. hwang hyunjin realises that sometimes, the best things in life happen unplanned.

word count: 31K

warnings: cursing, drinking, heavy angst, mutual pining, sexual tension, kissing, mature language, making out, jealousy, references to injuries, unrequited love, fighting, arguments and confrontations, hyunjin is mean, mentions of weed, post-breakup behaviour, passing mention of threats, a guy makes yn feel physically uncomfortable

a/n: most of this chapter contains heavy angst, yn is thinking about hyunjin 90% of the time, and it's a very different pacing from usual, but i enjoyed writing this a lot :) i hope you love it too! please get comfortable with snacks and a blanket to read. you can listen to my star lost playlist here!

important: all works are fiction, and do not in any way represent the real personalities or real people, they exist only as faceclaims, and are fictional characters.

masterlist

The romantic movies you’d watched growing up always skipped over the hard parts.

The break-ups in them were just a short montage set to the soundtrack of a sad song. The main female character would have given up all hope, drowning her feelings in ice-cream and wine, and just when she hit rock bottom... somehow the boy would find a way back to her. The audience would cheer even though it was so predictable, and the credits would roll. All the sadness would be overshadowed by a firework-worthy reunion kiss, and a stupid Happily Ever After.

If only your life right now could pass by like a montage. If only you could hit fast-forward, and skip to the day you feel better.

You were never much into Greek mythology, but you had read Percy Jackson in middle school, and the myth of Sisyphus always stuck to you. He was condemned to roll a rock up a mountain for eternity, but the rock would roll back down to the bottom every single time. It was a cruel punishment because he could never achieve his goal.

Forgetting Hyunjin was a Sisyphean task. It was futile, in every way. On most days, it almost felt impossible. You could always try, and push yourself really hard, but he would always be there at the bottom of the canyon. Homereminded you of him, of all the good times there — bumping into him at Aera’s, plunging into freezing water with him at the creek, kissing him in the meadow of the fireflies, sloppy and wet but enchanting. And so did this city. The lights of the skyscrapers, the culture, the fashion, they all screamed his name. It didn’t help that his pictures were plastered all over every big billboard, every bus stop shelter, each subway station. Perhaps to forget him, you’d have to run away to a remote cabin, somewhere in Europe, where you could paint your life away and never look back. Yet wouldn’t that be useless too? Everything beautiful in your life would be forever linked to him.

“What are you thinking of so deeply, Y/N?” A voice pulled you out of your sad tangent. You’d been sketching in your notebook, mindlessly doodling, drawing circles and squares.

Jeonghan was slumped in the chair opposite yours, his own sketchbook balanced on his knees, but he hadn’t drawn for an hour now. He was too busy listening to a podcast on those big headphones he never let go of. Minnie was supposed to join you today, but she was running late from a date with Jamie, so for now it was just you and him. There was so much noise around you, a constant buzz and chatter of people in the coffee shop, so you raised your voice to be heard, “I’m thinking of…how romance movies are all bullshit”

His eyebrows shot up, and he sat up straighter, clearly not expecting that. You suppose it was a bit random, “I’m sorry?”

Now that you’d brought it up, you had to explain it, and you struggled to find the words, “They’re all such cookie-cutter depictions of romance. The same formula every time. You don’t think so?”

His eyes narrowed, suspiciously, “Well, who broke your heart?”

You shut your sketchbook with a snap, “Nobody. I’m just talking”

“Clearly you think I’m stupider than I actually am” He pulled a hand up, and started counting on his fingers, “You’re not eating, you’re not sleeping, you’re only painting of blue and depressing things, you…didn’t even laugh at a single joke of mine in class today”

“Maybe because they aren’t funny”

“And you now think romantic movies suck. That’s the telltale signs of a breakup”

“I’ve always thought they suck… That doesn’t mean anything”

“Okay” He laughed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, “How about the fact that you all but ran out of Pegasus and went white as a ghost when you saw that guy in the elevator?”

You stilled, staring at him. It’s been days since that incident, but he’s never brought it up till now. You had never given him a chance to. You realised you’re an expert in deflecting when it comes to matters of Hyunijn. You pulled at the spiral binding of your notebook, “He was just an old friend”

“You reacted way more than someone would…to an old friend. I’m not going to judge you, you know that? I’m from fucking LA. If I started judging people, I’m afraid I’d never stop”

You sighed, looking down at the coffee table, “He’s just someone I wasn’t expecting to see. It brought up old memories, shit I’d like to forget now. Let’s…talk about something else, please”

He released a breath, looking around, “Fine. I think I’m gonna get another cup of coffee. You want one?”

“No, I’m good. Coffee keeps me up at night”

Jeonghan stood up, lanky frame hovering over you, lips pressed into a thin line, “Don’t blame coffee for that”

With that, he walked off to the counter, and you stared at the empty chair. You’re trying hard not to think of that evening, after you walked out of the storage closet, out of the Pegasus building and straight home. You had felt a new kind of pathetic… and to make it worse, your apartment keys had refused to cooperate. It’s because you were shaking the whole way home. You’d dropped them on the landing multiple times as you made your way upstairs, the shrill sound the only thing snapping you out of your daze. Even your hands had shook as you tried to get into your apartment.

You’d crawled into your mattress, and you’d cried yourself to sleep. Your pillow had muffled the sounds and it wasn’t even satisfyin. Your tears felt empty and forced. The numbness…was real. What were you even crying for? Hyunjin had made it crystal clear since day one that nothing could happen between you, so you shouldn’t have expected him to suddenly change his mind.

“I got you a cupcake” Jeonghan sat back down, a red velvet cupcake in his hand, a Cafe Mocha in the other.

It just hurt that he’d given up on the two of you, before you even had a chance to try. It was…a horrible memory, and your chest hurt at it. “I don’t want it, sorry”

“Suit yourself” He shrugged, peeling back the paper wrapping so he could take a bite out of it. The white frosting smeared on his nose, and he smiled at you. He’s a good friend, but you’ve been nothing but miserable the past few weeks. It’s bad for you because this is not the time for drama. You’re working on real stuff now in art class. You’re past introductions, and over the bunny hill. You have an actual assignment, and that’s the reason you’re here in this cafe, trying to brainstorm ideas for it. This artwork matters more to you than anything else lately, because it feels like a last plea for happiness. If your professor actually likes it, then you won’t feel so useless anymore. Time lately feels like it’s slipping through your fingers, wasting away, precious days blurring together into sadness and nostalgia. You used to count the seconds until you could live this life, but what you’re feeling right now…that’s not living.

How can you be creative right now, when all you hold inside you is bitterness? All this time, you’d held on to some minuscule hope, that one day things between you and Hyunjin would be all right. That maybe one day he would give into what he felt, and you could actually be together. It was almost …like a given. How could he kiss you like that…and not want it for the rest of his life? A part of you had imagined it all — the future you could have had with him, the relationship you could lead with somebody who knew every bit of you.

You’d been surrounded by good people your whole life, but the impact Hyunjin left on you was incomparable. His thoughts, the way his brain worked things out, the kindness with which he approached life — you couldn’t hope to find that in anybody now. It was special to only him, and more than anything, you couldn’t forget that. You couldn’t forget the beautiful things he kept hidden in his mind, in his heart. The first few weeks you’d known him…it became obvious what he would mean to you. In the silliest of ways, he even finished your sentences…How could somebody be so perfectly built for you, but not be meant for you at all?

Maybe the romance books were to blame for making you believe there was someone perfect for you at all. Soulmates were an urban legend, and a red string of fate didn’t exist. But then why did everything pull you together all this while? It couldn’t have been…for nothing.

Were you the one to blame for imagining an actual future with him? You’d never even had the honor of calling him your boyfriend, how could you hope for anything more?

The logical step was…to move on. So that’s why you’re here, painting in the new coffee shop, and hoping it will help. Jeonghan helps, kind of. He’s funny, and he’s got a large personality and an even bigger sense of humour, and you wonder how he fits it all in his lanky frame. He’s a perfect student and on top of that, he’s helpful. He’s always sharing his supplies with you in class, and he’s genuinely so amusing, if not mildly annoying sometimes, but with Minho and Felix you’d gotten used to it. He was humming now to a song you don’t recognise, his music taste is very different from yours, and he suddenly asked, “Why do you think I moved back to Korea?”

Your brows furrowed, and you randomly guessed, “I don’t know…An American girl broke your heart?”

“Bingo” He bit into the cupcake, crumbs falling onto his button-up, and on his ripped jeans, “She kissed my friend at a party. Right in front of me”

You’re surprised to hear that, and even more so that he’s openly telling you. Maybe talking freely about the past is moving on. So you told him, in solidarity, “My best friend dated the boy I like”

His eyebrows shot up, and he leaned forward, pausing the music on his phone to give you his whole attention, “Did she know you liked him?”

“No…not really”

“Then you can’t really blame her I guess”

“I don’t”

“So you blame yourself? For liking him?”

“Nothing I do could have made me stop”

He tilt his head, “Is that so?”

You chewed on your lip, “I liked him for a long time before my friend met him”

“Then why didn’t you ask him out?”

“I didn’t know his name at the…time”

His eyes widened, a smile forming, “Oh…now I’m really, really curious”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past now”

Jeonghan sighed, “You know, this is a record”

You reached for his cupcake, and bit into it, it was too sweet and you hated red velvet but you wanted to feel something, “What do you mean?”

“That’s like the most I’ve got out of you, Y/N. You’re a pretty closed book”

You’ve never been told that before. You're usually always oversharing. You have to try to be better. Maybe divulging the details of your life isn’t such a weakness or vulnerability. It’s hard to explain to anybody about what you’re going through, the only person who’ll understand is Kairi, but you haven’t talked to her since that time in the park, when she brought Hyunjin up and you came crumbling down like a house of cards.

You feel so weak lately, like a balloon about to be popped, stretched to your limits. You can’t accommodate any sadness in you anymore, and any mere mention or thought of Hyunjin breaks you down. You’re trying your best though. Yeonjun is sad you don’t hang out at his place anymore, after all it’s not his fault there’s a billboard of Hyunjin right across. Falling apart felt it’d be more climatic and sudden, but it’s more of a gradual process than anything. Even now, sitting in this pretty shop in Seoul, your chest pains at the memories. The hurt is so immense sometimes you have to clutch your chest waiting for the pain to pass. It’s like a heart attack every time you think of him. You can’t remember how it used to feel when it didn’t hurt.

In the past few weeks, you’d have had a lot of selfish thoughts and wishes. Some of them are cruel in a way that you can never say it out loud. You feel guilty for even thinking them, yet most days when you’re alone in your bed and you crave him, you wish he never became an idol. Hyunjin without the fame and without his music was still the same boy inside. Hyunjin without the frills was the kid in the art store you fell in love with all those years ago.

You wish he could just be yours, to love forever, not the entire citys’. Forever was a long fucking time but you felt capable of it, of cherishing him for the rest of your life because he made it so easy. But you should have taken the hint when he cut you out of his life, without even leaving a phone number behind. If you hadn’t come to Seoul… it was entirely possible he would never have seen you again. He would have left you behind in the town, and never looked back. To him…you were just a girl he messed around with in the summer. So temporary. So forgettable.

You wish you could pick apart your brain, and take out every memory of him, but you feared there’d be nothing in you left then. Loving him took up all the space in you. Missing him did the same. Jeonghan was speaking to you still, wondering why you never shared too much about yourself, and you shrugged, “I don’t know. I just want to focus on now. I hate feeling haunted by the past. It’s paralysing, to be stuck in those memories”

Jeonghan’s eyes narrowed, this is a pretty serious conversation for this cafe, but he asked, “You ever see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? The movie with Kate Winslet and that one dude…um, Jim Carrey?”

You’ve stopped sketching entirely now, you hadn’t made progress in hours. It goes without saying that ever since you saw Hyunjin in the city, your inspiration has been lost. You’ve been searching for it ever since, in new friendships, in new coffee shops, in conversations like this, “I…haven’t, but Felix, my best friend loved that movie”

He leaned forward, excited to explain to you, “Well, in the movie this couple’s broken up, and they hate each other, like absolutely loathe each other. So there’s this futuristic procedure where they can choose to erase memories of their lover, and the girl…she does it. It’s too painful to remember the boy she loved”

“Oh?”

“Mmh” Jeonghan’s eyes twinkle as he explained and you wonder if he and Felix would be best friends if they met; they talk about movies with the same passion, “So the guy, he starts going through the procedure too. But as the memories of their relationship start being deleted, he realises he doesn’t want them to be erased after all. They loved each other, and their time together was so special to them. That shouldn’t be forgotten. It’s a cool concept, right?”

You’re listening to him, and the noises of the cafe have faded away, “Yeah. It’s cool” You’re playing the movie in your head, wondering what you would do if you were in it. Would you alter the chemistry of your brain so Hyunjin never existed in your life? It’d sure be easier than trying to move on, which was…useless.

Jeonghan suddenly frowned realising you ate some of his cupcake. The proof was in your hands which were covered in white frosting. He leaned over the little table, “I thought you didn’t want the cupcake”

You apologised, “Sorry. The frosting was good”

“Is that so?” He grabbed your hand. He’s touchy sometimes in class, so you weren’t too surprised. But in a single swoop, he licked the frosting right off your hand, tongue swirling around your finger for a brief second, “Eh, could be better. Anyway, do you want to watch that movie with me? You could come over after you finish the artwork”

Before you could even process what just happened, a tote bag slammed onto your table, and you both jumped. Minnie grinned at you, standing by, “So did you guys finish the assignment?”

»»————-

You are supposed to paint your most dominant emotion. It’s an important task, because you’ve to be graded on it. It’s due today. The thought of being evaluated for your creativity terrifies you. You don’t feel good for anything right now, but this is what you signed up for. Your supplies are sprawled across the apartment floor, and you’re forcing each stroke onto the paper, trying to paint a semblance of anything. You want to prove your worth in the art studio. You haven’t been too interactive in class, you’ve been at your lowest, but this meant so much to you for the longest time. So you’re trying really, really hard.

There is music playing from your phone, a mix of calm songs you’d put together months ago. Hours had passed, and you’ve fiddled away at your canvas, trying to fix every little detail. You stayed up nights in a row, finishing the painting and it was honestly a good distraction, for the most part. If Kim Jieong loves it, then perhaps you’ll stop being so sad. You will yourself to just fill in the gaps of your artwork, to correct the error in your ways so that it can be perfect for the presentation today.

But it was almost time for class, and if you didn’t leave now, you’ll be late. You stare at the painting, breathing a sigh, it doesn’t look half bad, “Well…this is as good as it’s gonna get”

As you roll the canvas up so you can carry it to class, the song on your playlist changes and within seconds… Hyunjin’s voice fills your bedroom. It was a song from the new album.

You freeze, recognising it instantly, goosebumps rippling up your arms and legs. It’s a ballad, and his voice is soft and melodious. Once upon a time it was comforting. Dread fills your stomach. You hate this song. You hate his voice. You can’t listen to him ever again. Your phone lay across the bedroom floor. You need to turn it off. In your hurry to scramble for it, your hand slips, and your elbow knocks into a glass of muddy paint-water. Before you could even process it, the liquid tips over. Within seconds, helplessly you watch the wave of liquid destroy your art. It seeps across your entire canvas, ruining everything you’d worked on for weeks.

It becomes a glob of colors and it’s so funny and pathetic you couldn’t even cry or be frustrated. It’s your carelessness to blame. The only thing you can do is turn the fucking music off.

You feel stupid, showing up to class with that. When you arrive, Minnie was presenting her piece already. It’s gorgeous, and her painting is about love. It’s obvious in the way she’s drawn a portrait of what’s supposed to be her girlfriend, Jamie. There’s strokes of red for her hair, and pink and warm tones all over. Jamie is drawn so beautifully, accentuated features, so much personality in a single portrait. Does she know how beautiful she is in her girlfriend’s eyes?

Jeonghan goes next, and he’s painted triumph. It’s more abstract than a lover’s portrait. It’s smart, and it’s confident, and it’s full of gold accents. You feel ashamed thinking of your own work. You slide the rolled-up canvas behind your desk, and hope nobody notices it. Like a zombie, you’re applauding for everyone’s work, and your hands clap every few minutes, but you’re not even looking at anything anymore. Analysis and appreciation is out of the question. Your own failure is far too distracting.

Then, Kim Jieong glanced at you for the first time this morning, expectant eyes, anticipating smile, “Come on up, sweetheart”

The rest of the class had apparently finished, and you’re the only one left. It’s easy to lie through your teeth, “I’m sorry, Mr. Jieong…I forgot”

His eyebrows shoot up, and confusion is evident in his gaze, “Forgot what?”

You can feel your friends eyes on you, “I forgot about the assignment” It’s better that he think you’re careless rather than not talented. Jeonghan’s gaze on you was deathly, because he knows you’ve worked on nothing else the past few days. This was the only thing you’d been sleeping and breathing. This was your turning point. Your hope for happiness.

Your professor nods, “I see…”

“I’m sorry” Your voice was small and pathetic but you don’t even feel any remorse. Sadness is so present in you that there’s no room for guilt. You stare at your table, not wanting to look anybody in the eye, especially as he speaks, “These assignments are for a reason, and I hope everybody knows that. We don’t wake up and come all the way here to waste each others time, do we?”

You curl up in your chair, pulling your jacket tight around yourself, and your eyes sting. You could feel his stare of judgement at you as he addressed the class, when you’re the only one at fault. Everybody else did the work. Minnie’s gaze was burning into you too, but you didn’t look up for the rest of class. It’s childish. You just feel embarrassed. You count down the minutes until it’s over. You’re going to go home and redo everything, and hopefully he will forgive you for your lack of tact.

As soon as it’s time, you grabbed your bag, rushing to leave, but his voice echoed through the class, “Y/N. Please stay back. I need to talk to you”

The dreadful words make you stop in your tracks, but you were already at the door planning your escape. Minnie pinched you in the stomach as she left, “Good luck, babe”

You turned around, clutching your bag to your chest as everybody around you exits, and you know you’re being judged right now. This is a class for professionals. Heartbreak is not an excuse. You take a look at him, “Is everything okay?”

The professor crosses his legs on the stool, seemingly relaxed, and he didn’t look mad, “Just need to discuss something with you. I’ve been thinking about it for a while”

“Okay…” You breathe, running the possibilities in your head. Is he just upset, or is it possible to actually get kicked out of this program because of your fucking carelessness?

Jeonghan stops in front of you, “Should I go ahead, or do you want me to wait for you?”

Your professor was quick to interrupt, “Nate, I appreciate you sticking up for your friend, but I’d like to speak to her alone”

Your heart warmed at the thought that he was going to stay back for you, “It’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow” You told him, even though you crave his comfort. Soon, the rest of the students trickle out of the classroom, dillydallying and slow to move with no care in the world. You stand by there, waiting patiently as Jieong wraps up his work, packing up his bag and things. As soon as everyone’s gone, you apologise, “I’m so sorry about forgetting the assignment. It was really irresponsible of me, and I can explain”

“Except you didn’t forget” He looked up at you.

“Sorry?”

“The canvas behind your desk. You didn’t really do a great job of hiding it”

“That’s… not my assignment” You protest, “That’s…nothing. It’s a mess”

He got up, “Then you won’t mind if I take a look at it?”

“I promise you, it’s nothing. It’s not worth…” You trailed off, watching as he makes his way there. He unfurls it, and he’s quiet for a few minutes as he stares at your botched painting. The artwork makes no sense. The canvas is completely ruined, and a kid could have done it better. He turns to you, disappointed. “Can you remind me why you’re here, Y/N?”

Your heart breaks even more, “I promise…I’m gonna do better next time”

He steps closer to you, “That’s not what I asked you, Y/N. Why are you in my program? That’s what I want to know”

You’re suddenly finding it hard to breathe, and your mind is blank. There’s no fucking space for your thoughts or for logic or reason, when it’s just been corrupted by memories he left behind, “I’m here… because I’ve always wanted to be”

“Do you think that’s good enough?”

This behavior of his isn’t even out of nowhere. You’ve been a horrible student of lately, you haven’t paid attention, your enthusiasm has been curbed, and your paintings have been tacky and upsetting. You swallowed the lump in your throat, “I’m really trying to be better. I’m…sorry for disappointing--”

“I’m only disappointed because you lied to me”

Your eyes shoot up to his, and his gaze burns you, “What?”

He crossed his arms, stepping close to you until there’s no personal space anymore. There’s no venom in his tone but you know he’s masquerading it because unlike you, he’s a professional who knows how to deal with people like you, “You can’t just choose what you want to do on a whim. That’s not up to you. That’s not what my program is for. This canvas is your assignment. Why are you pretending otherwise? Why didn’t you present it to the class?”

“Because I fucked up”

He didn’t flinch at your usage of the swear word, and he ran a hand over his face, “What emotion were you trying to convey?”

“Peace…”

“And is that how you feel? Peaceful?”

“No…” You sighed, “I feel horrible…” There was a lump in your throat blocking your airways. The pain in your chest was returning. You’re angry at Hyunjin for doing this to you.

“Can you please tell me what’s going on? You didn’t even meet the mentor I took you to see all the way to Pegasus for. Those field trips aren’t optional. I didn’t take you for some city tour. I wanted you to meet Karina. Those opportunities are important. If you miss those… you might as well not be here. This program is for people who value that, we have no room for freeloaders”

Your eyes shoot up to his, panic rising, and your eyes sting with tears, “Professor Jieong—”

“Can you sit down for a minute?” He stepped forward, hand going to your lower back, leading you to your seat. You feel awkward at the touch; the greenhouse studio is empty right now, it’s just you and him here. Would you have to beg him to let you stay in this program? Just like you begged Hyunjin to stay with you? He stands across you when you sit, crossing his arms, a pensive look in his eyes, “I receive…more than ten thousand applications for this program every year. There’s only twenty spaces in this classroom though. I couldn’t possibly look through all the applications myself. You’re aware of that, yes?”

It's hard for you to focus on his words when you only want to cry. In all this fucking sadness, you may just be losing the most important opportunity you ever got, “Yes…”

“I have a team that does it for me. They’re all trusted, close associates. All artists of course, and with all their idiosyncrasies they have a unique way of viewing the world. They hardly ever mess up in finding talent, but earlier this year, one of them did”

“What do you mean?”

“Your file didn’t come in to me. You were sent a rejection, weren’t you?”

The reminder is a punch to your gut, even though it’s in the past and irrelevant now.

“Did you never wonder how you got in…even after being rejected?” He asked, lips curling up, as if knows the secrets of the universe and is indulging you in all of them. He’s going to tell you it was a mistake after all. You weren’t meant for this. You’ve fucked up so bad.

You wipe the single tear on your cheek as you look up at him, “To be honest…I just decided to take the blessing, and not question further”

He smiled, eyes crinkling, “Of course you did. Well, I think you’d be interested to know how you ended up getting in” You’ve never questioned it until now, and you’re anticipating his next words, "On a hot summer morning, I was supposed to catch a train up north to visit my parents. It was my day off…I don’t get too many of those here” He laughed, “But obviously, I missed the train. Instead of taking the next one, I came back to my office. When I did, I saw your file. It was in the rejected pile, but I took a single look at it and I knew there’d been a mistake. I knew that you had to be in this program. Somebody must have overlooked it, and I’m thankful I saw yours”

Your eyes widened, “What do you mean?”

“I chose you, Y/N. Everybody else in this class was picked by my peers, by the committee, but you…I picked you myself, so you of all people shouldn’t be falling behind. You have an innate talent and I respect that a lot. I don’t want to be disappointed by you in the future. I know it’s intimidating to join in the middle of a semester, but you…belong here. Don’t question that. Don’t let it fuck you up”

You were dizzy with his compliment, perhaps this validation is the only thing you needed. You didn’t deserve this kindness, “You have a lot of confidence in someone who fucked up their painting so bad, Mr. Jieong”

“If I didn’t, you wouldn’t be sitting here, Y/N”

“Right…um, thank you” Your lips tugged into a smile, and your chest felt lighter for the first time in a long time. He picked you.

“That’s the problem with your generation, you’re always doubting yourself so much” He chuckled again, “Imagine if I’d taken that train to see my parents. I’d never seen your application. It would have been such a shame to not have you here with me”

You nodded, standing up to leave, grabbing your things, “That’s a crazy coincidence… Why didn’t you take the train though?”

He shrugged, carrying your canvas for you, so he could walk you out, “They’d closed down the entire platform for a few hours, so couldn’t even if I wanted to”

You frowned, switching off all the lights and glanced at him as the room was plunged in darkness, “Huh. I didn’t know they do that…”

“I didn’t either, but apparently some famous guy was returning to Seoul that day. I’m guessing a lot of fans wanted to see him, there was too big of a crowd. So they ended up shutting down the whole platform. Made me miss my damn train”

“A… music artist?”

“Yeah! You might have seen it on the news. He’s one of Pegasus’ artists actually. I think he’s also a painter, like you.

The pain in your chest returned with a bang, “Oh…”

He laughed, “This city and its obsession with celebrities. But I guess if it wasn’t for that… you wouldn’t be here”

“Yeah…”

His hand landed on your shoulder, trying to comfort you but nothing could, “I guess that’s why they say coincidence is just another word for fate, huh?”

»»————-

Unread messages flooded your inbox. Some from Yeonjun, most from Felix… You haven’t ignored them on purpose. You just haven’t had time or the energy to get back to them. They all read the same anyway. Asking about your life in the city, and how it feels to live your dreams. A part of you thought it’s the universe being decidedly cruel to you — reminding you the irony of how you’ve never been this miserable in your life.

And then there was one from Kairi.

hey! i hope you’ve been doing good. i went to this cute new cafe in gangnam and i thought of you. i feel like we ended things on the wrong note. could we maybe have a redo of last time? if that’s okay with you

You don’t reply, because you have no idea what you’ll even talk about to her. It’s creepy to pursue friendship with Chan’s ex. You’re supposed to be moving on, not just from him, but from his entire world.

Your phone buzzes again and it’s a text from Minnie on your group chat. It’s just you, her and Jeonghan in it. You don’t talk too much here, just make plans for class and coffee. So you were surprised at what she had sent you. Maybe she feels pitiful after the way you embarrassed yourself in class earlier.

minnie: so you’re not gonna believe this yn.

yeah?

minnie: i have a friend of a friend, and he saw a picture of you on my instagram. he thinks you’re really fucking hot.

who?

minnie: just some guy. anyway, do you want me to set you up with him?

noo. please don’t

minnie: wait you didn’t let me finish. he works in the city, and i haven’t met him yet but my friend said he’s smart and funny. he seems like the kind of guy you’d like?

you’re trying to set me up with someone you’ve never met yourself?

minnie: omg its called a blind date girl

no dates. please.

minnie: all right :( anyway jamie and me are getting drunk tonight. do you wanna come?

You were trying really hard, to make casual conversation more often, to just be a normal fucking human who isn’t heartbroken and defined by your love for someone, so you said yes. You bought a bottle of wine from the store so you could bring it for them, as a gift for inviting you over.

Minnie’s place was…nice. It’s in the higher end of the city, and she definitely comes from money. You were gathered around her dining table, and you’re sitting with your knees up on her chair. Jamie was lying on the couch across you, and she’s very tipsy already. A glass of wine was balanced on her stomach, and they’re telling you the story of how they met — through mutual friends on a night out in the city, apparently it was love at first sight, and Jamie had asked Minnie out only days after they first met. You didn’t opt for alcohol tonight, instead, you were digging into a large tub of chocolate ice-cream.

Minnie was sitting cross-legged on the table, in her pajamas, “And then, guess what restaurant she picked for our first date? This…candle-lit fucking expensive place! I was so impressed, and kind of embarrassed I wouldn’t match the vibe—”

“But you looked fucking hot” Jamie interrupted, “We flirted the entire night, and then…we fucked on the very first date. At her place”

“Whoa…” You smiled at their story, tasting another spoonful of ice cream, “And…when did you start dating? Was it soon after that?”

“It’s embarrassing. She asked me to be her girlfriend…the same night” Minnie giggled, covering her face in her hands. She was definitely very tipsy, and you’d only seen her this cheerful around Jamie. In class, she was much more composed and serious, and it’s nice to see the side of her around her lover. She’s so much more open, and happier here.

“Oh” You realised, “And you’ve been together…three years now?”

Minnie grinned, shrugging, “I’d already fallen in love on the first date, no matter how stupid that sounds”

You smiled at that, and then buried yourself into the ice-cream cup again, licking flecks off the steel spoon. Minnie nudged you, snapping you out of it, “Are you ever gonna tell us what happened with your ex or are we supposed to guess?”

“Minnie…” You rest your head against the wall, “It’s really not as interesting as your story”

“Y/N….” She whined loudly, and she had made her way through the second bottle of wine, the one you’d brought, “You don’t trust us? I promise we’re not gonna judge. Please, please, please”

“It’s not about that” You sighed, but her excitement to know your past was endearing, “I just find it depressing to talk about”

“Well. That’s what we’re here for. How can you move on if you avoid it forever?” Jamie sat up, blanket wrapped around her, and Minnie even shifted closer to you. This felt nice…to have friends here, in a city you couldn’t call home yet.

She was right. The past shouldn’t be your vulnerability. You sighed, staring inside your empty cup, “Well, then I’m gonna need a hell of a lot more ice cream”

“Um, so this is about the guy you mentioned right? The one you had lost touch with?”

You knew you’d be asked this story one day. You had to tell this without naming names. You couldn’t compromise Hyunjin like that. To them, it would just be a guy from your town, not an idol, not someone famous. You curled up your legs, ripping open the plastic of the brand new strawberry ice-cream tub, “I don’t know where to start honestly. It’s kind of a long story, but…um, I had this crazy crush on a boy in my town. He was really cute. He was kind, and funny, and…really really fucking hot”

Minnie and Jamie laughed at that, eager ears as you continued, “I didn’t think anything would happen between us, because I thought he was into my best friend. Turns out he wasn’t. Me and him ended up kissing one night, it was romantic as hell. I kind of felt like…the main character in those coming-of-age 90s films. Because he was…so old-fashioned in a way? But also, really modern. He’s so romantic” You paused to breathe and all those memories are flooding back, “I was in this…pretty satin dress, and he was in a suit, with like a cropped jacket, and really cool pants. They fit him so well”

Minnie lived in a high-rise building, and from here, the city lights blinked in the distance, golden specks lighting up the horizon. The memory flooded through you, clear as day. Two people under the night sky, surrounded by mountains on all sides. He had shown you the stars and the sky. You remember telling him that stars would remind you of him now. He had held you in his arms, and imprinted his words into your soul, “And when I look at the city lights…I’ll think of you”

Was he thinking of you now?

The city lights were brighter than ever.

“Holy shit. Where did he take you on a date to? The Met Gala?” Jamie laughed, “I didn’t know guys our age even wear suits other than to funerals”

“No, it wasn’t a date date. It was just a fancy event in the town” Maybe you had terrible storytelling skills, because nothing made sense and it was all jumbled up, but they were listening intently so you continued anyway. No words could convey your first kiss with him. No sentences could capture your emotions, the lust, the love.

“But after that kiss, he regret it immediately. He wasn’t really looking for a relationship. Despite that we kept kissing, over and over…and we didn’t stop. It became a thing, I don’t really know what we were doing” You smiled softly, staring at the skyscraper lights from their window, a kaleidoscope of inappropriate memories projected on the glass. You lost your words, blaming your imagination for the way a film reel of those moments was cast onto the windows. Maybe you really were going crazy, staring at the glass, and seeing him touching you in the reflection. Heat rushed to your face, like your dirtiest thoughts were out on display, but Jamie and Minnie were quiet, and this was all in your head anyway. You took a larger serving of the ice-cream this time, the creamy texture melting on your tongue, “I guess that’s when I realised I was absolutely, insanely in love with him, but… then he had to leave”

“Leave for what? The military?” Minnie’s eyes were wide. Jamie shushed her, “Wait, let her talk babe. You can ask your questions later”

“No, not the military, just for his work, and then…” Then came the hard part of this story, “And then he blocked me. For a few months. I don’t know why”

They frowned, but they didn’t interrupt you, “I saw him in a shop downtown, and he completely walked past me at first…he ignored me. But when we met later, he kissed me. Then he told me he could never see me again” It sounded crazy told all together like this. It didn’t sound like your life. It sounded like a story from some tacky relationship podcast Jeonghan would listen to, but it was the truth. Their eyes were wide as you finished, and you stared at them, feeling naked and vulnerable, “That’s the gist of it”

“He sounds like an asshole” Jamie mumbled, pouring herself another drink. Your gaze shot up to hers. “Is thatwhat I’d made him seem like? That wasn’t my intention. He’s not an asshole, he’s…really nice”

Minnie frowned, “Yeah. No nice guy would do that to someone he cares about”

They didn’t know he was an idol, and they couldn’t know, so it was frustrating that they’d never understand all of it. How could they have guessed that it was forbidden for Hyunjin to love you?

“Honestly that sounds really fucked up. If he actually gave a shit about you, he wouldn’t have ghosted you in the first place, and then he had the nerve to kiss you? God, men are such dicks. As soon he had enough of the sex, he dropped you?”

They didn’t know all the nice things he’d said to you, or the nice things he’d done for you. You shook your head, “No, guys… it wasn’t just about the physical—”

“Did he ever tell you he loved you?”

You swallowed, “No…”

“And he told you he doesn’t do relationships” Jamie scoffed, “That’s what my friend’s ex was like. He said the same thing, and next year he got fucking married to another girl. This boy you’re telling us about…he’s obviously not going to be single forever, especially if he’s as nice as you say he is. If he actually saw any future with you, Y/N, he would have told you”

Minnie sighed, and it seemed like this very specific conversation about you had escalated into a hatred of most men, “It sounds like a fucked up situationship, and babe… if you give him so much importance it’ll only hurt you. He used you, because you’re so fucking nice. Not that that’s your fault, but…he’s just like every guy I know. They like the thrill of the chase, and when they actually get the girl, they’re bored of her”

A fucked up situationship? Maybe that’s what it actually was. Hyunjin had clearly stated that what you and him had only existed in Daejon. Here you were, calling it destiny, stupidly. Your vision became blurry as tears shot up to your eyes, and it was pathetic because you weren’t even drunk, you were just sad and loaded on strawberry ice-cream, “He’s not like that”

“Why are you defending him?”

You knew they were wrong. Obviously they were wrong, but is that what this seemed like to the outside world? That Hyunjin used you? Because you were easy…and nice?

Minnie reached out to touch your shoulder, comfortingly squeezing it, “You can do so much better than him, Y/N. From everything you said… he just sounds manipulative as hell”

You put the empty ice cream cup away, “Yeah” You mumbled, “So…what am I supposed to do now?”

“Get yourself out there! Go on dates. Kiss every guy in Seoul if you want to, if that makes you happy. You’re… fucking amazing. Are you seriously going to wait around for a guy who isn’t even trying for you?”

You’ve never been a casual person, but maybe that is what you need now. You’re done with world-shattering true loves. Even Hyunjin had casually been with girls before you, and the thought stung you that he might even be with girls after you. He only had an issue with relationships…and that’s why he’d pushed you away, because he couldn’t give you one. There’d be thousands of other girls who’d be willing to be with him - no label, no expectations, just sex. Yeah, you did need to get yourself out there. How bad could it be?

»»————-

The text said, Meet at eight.

It’s half past, and your date is not here.

You’d dressed yourself in a tight black dress, very revealing and you could hardly breathe. It was from a fancy store in your neighbourhood, and it was far too expensive, but it’d be worth it for tonight. You did your hair in a style Hana had taught you, and you haven’t dolled up like this in a long, long while. The last time you dressed yourself this much…was for the Paint and Wine event in the Château. Tonight is a first for you and you want to make a real good impression.

Although, it’s been more than thirty minutes and your date hasn’t shown up. You were sitting at the bar, getting anxious and impatient. Looking around, the place was full, everybody seemed to be on a date, and nobody’s looking at you. Nobody was looking for you. You’re only a little mortified, and the best case scenario is…that he got the timing wrong, or that he got busy and decided this wasn’t worth his time. Minnie told you he’s working, so he obviously has a more hectic schedule than yours. The worst case? That he saw you and left.

“Can I get you anything?” The bartender asked, leaning over the wooden bar, “You’ve been here a while…”

“I’m waiting for somebody to show up. A date…” You explained, and understanding settled into his features. He headed back to the rest of his customers, and you wonder if he’s going to gossip about the poor stood-up girl at the bar. They must see this a lot everyday. This bar seems fancy, your blind date suggested you meet here so he seems like a man with good standards. There’s a dance floor and blaring Latin music, which brings in most of the crowd. You texted Minnie, um am i at the right bar?

shit he’s not there yet?

You decided to order a drink so tonight isn’t useless after all, and you browsed through the flimsy, paper menu. It’s got stains of ketchup on it, and it’s gross but it reminds you that you hadn’t ate in hours. You wanted to be able to fit into this dress and to leave enough room for dinner with him. Your eyes caught sight of the familiar names of drinks that Hyunjin had wanted to make you but didn’t have the ingredients for. You ended up choosing a Tequila Sunrise instead. You don’t really want to taste an Italian Dolce Vita and discover what you missed out on that last night in Daejon with him.

An hour has passed now. You were most definitely stood-up, but you’re stubborn so you would stay until the end of tonight, and if he ever did show up you’d forgive your date in a second. Your drink was empty, you’d chugged it to calm your nerves. Your napkin was soggy, and the other couples who sat at the bar have already made their way to second base: the dance floor where they’re grinding up against each other. You have resorted to playing with the condensation drops on your glass, observing the way the water falls onto the countertop.

A blind date was how this had all started, back in the bowling alley, so why were you getting yourself into it again? Maybe you should have more dignity, and walk away right now, but you were so desperate. If you leave tonight, you’d never work up the courage again to go on a date, and you need this more than anything. You feel so stupid, and maybe Hana’s actions that past summer actually make sense anyway. You would do anything to forget Hyunjin. You’d date …almost anybody to get over him. Even if it’s a guy who kept you waiting for an hour by yourself.

“Hey. Um. Are you Y/N?” An unfamiliar voice asked. You turned around to see a boy in a maroon button-up. He’s finally here, and your heart calms a little because he’s actually cute. All Minnie had said about him was that he was smart and funny, so it’s a relief that he’s easy on the eyes too. He looked older than you, and he’s got kind eyes and curly hair. Although it’s a bit off-putting that he’s wearing a baseball cap indoors. It felt like you’re both dressed for different occasions, but you are not going to complain. No matter what happens tonight, you can’tcomplain. This isn’t the time to be picky. It’s the time to take whatever life throws at you, because clearly that’s the only way you’re going to find somebody genuinely interested in you.

“Hey, Kang-min, right?” You forced a smile at him, and suddenly you’re so nervous. This is the first real date you’ve ever been on in ages.

The boy took the empty barstool next to you, and eyed your glass, “Sorry I was late, I had a friend emergency. I hope you’re not drunk already. That’d be mean”

You smiled, watching the way he sat so comfortably like this was routine for him, “It was just one drink. Don’t worry, I just came here too” Just a little white lie so he wouldn’t feel too guilty.

His eyes flickered over your dress, falling to your cleavage, “Did you buy that just for me?”

It was so forward that it caught you off guard. Your eyes widened, and you don’t want to give away how much tonight could possibly mean to you. So you said, “Um. Depends. Do you like it?”

He laughed, gaze on your bare legs and thighs, shamelessly checking you out, “Guess you’ll find out”

You don’t really know what to say so you smile at him, hoping he also likes the shade of red lipstick you’re wearing. He looks around the place, catching a feel for it, and then back at you. He looked at the bartender, snapping his fingers to catch his attention and ordered a drink for himself. A large beer. Tasteful. He looked at you and asked, “So…what’s your damage, pretty?”

“Sorry?”

His drink arrived pretty fast, and he lift the large glass to his lips. In a single go, he finished all of it, and you’re surprised at how fast he drank this. He had foam on his upper lip as he said, “You agreed to go on a blind date. Your last relationship must have been seriously fucked up”

You hoped you masqueraded your frown, “I just wanted to try something new”

“Right…makes sense” He tsked, “So my friend told me you’re an artist”

You smiled, relieved the conversation steered in a direction you were familiar with, “Yup. I study at a studio in the city. It’s an art program under this artist--”

He interrupted you, “I hear artists infamously make almost no money, but I mean you’re living in Seoul. You must be pretty well off” He pointed at you, almost accusatory, a grin on his face, “Let me guess, rich parents. Trust fund. Private school education”

You shook your head, a little offended and surprised that he made such an assumption in five minutes of knowing you, “No. I…I worked a couple of years and saved up for this”

He called the bartender again, to order a second beer and seemed surprised, “That takes some serious hustle. Why art then? You could’ve picked anything in the world”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…not to offend anyone, but there’s no money in art. What’s the point of it then?”

“Um…” You laughed, nervously. You realised that you’ve never been asked this question before. Most people in your life knew you since birth, and never questioned your passion for it, “It’s just what I like to do. It makes me really happy to paint beautiful things—”

“So you don’t paint about real shit?”

“Sorry?”

“I think my personal pet peeve is when people pretend the world is so great and lovely, even though everything’s so fucked up. Seems like you look at the world with rose-tinted glasses, if you only like to paint all the nice, pretty things, and not something that actually matters”

“I think art can be about everything, and that’s the beauty of it. It doesn’t always have to make a social statement, but it can always be interpreted as such. Some art is just about capturing the beauty of our world, and that’s okay too” You forced a smile, wanting to get the heat off you, “Um so you never told me… What do you do?”

He looked at you over the rim of his glass, “I’m a pharmacy tech. In short; I make important phone calls, and deal with horribly annoying people”

So that’s why Minnie said he was smart, “Oh…that must have taken a lot of studying”

“Yeah. Not everyone can do it, but somebody has to” He laughed, “I stepped up. I make good money though. So, um, aren’t you going to get another drink, Y/N or are you a lightweight?”

“I’m good” You smiled, although you were hungry as fuck because you’d been waiting for him so long, “Maybe we could order the food now?”

“Here?” He chuckled, “It’s really not worth it, I only come here for the beer. You didn’t get dinner before this?”

“I…I thought we’d eat together”

He laughed, pushing his curls out of his face, “No, I’d rather get drunk with you…and we can dance”

You looked to the dance floor which smelled of sweat and other things you don’t want to think of, “Maybe we could just talk more. I’ll just get another drink then”

He smiled, then looked at the bartender, “A beer for the lady”

“Actually, I might get wine”

His eyes narrowed, and he chuckled, “Oh. Let me guess. You want the most expensive one, right?”

You blinked, “Um…no I’m okay with any. The cheapest one is fine too”

He laughed, throwing his head back, “No wine is cheap, pretty. ”

“I can pay for it” You offered. Ugh. You wanted him to like you so bad.

“No, no, you’re out with me. You should have a real drink” He went ahead and ordered a beer for you. He probably thought you were the most boring girl in this entire city, so you agreed. You needed tonight to go well. Obviously, he wasn’t anything like Hyunjin, but no one could be. If you compared every boy to him, you’d never find anybody. So this would have to do. You sipped on the beer, and it tasted bitter and so horrible, but you swallowed anyway, shooting him a smile. You’d been miserable for long, you needed to let go, and have fun. You could be that kind of girl.

He grinned, reaching forward to grab your thigh, fingers clawing against your skin, “You’re cute”

You were distracted by the suddenness of his touch, and you laughed, nervously, “Thank you. You’re cute too. I like your piercings”

“Yeah?” He tilt his head, smirking, “You’re like the tenth girl to say that to me. I must be doing something right”

You didn’t have much experience with first dates... was it always this fucking awkward? His hand was inching closer up your thigh. You shifted away slightly, hoping he wouldn’t notice. Sure, he was attractive, but you weren’t attracted to him yet. It was too soon.

“So…you said you’re late because of a friend emergency? What was it?” You wanted hoping to keep the conversation going, and to keep it interesting. You wanted to know more about him.

“Ugh. Do not remind me” He rolled his eyes.

“Sorry” You apologised, “Is your friend okay?”

“Nope. He ran out of some weed, so I had to run down and get some for him. Even though he knew I had a date tonight and hot girls rank higher in priority than weed”

“Oh…you seem like a good friend”

He was a perfectly cute boy, why couldn’t you let loose? Just because you’d been attracted to Hyunjin from the first time you saw him, did not mean it’d happen with everybody else. That kind of shit was once in a lifetime, and if you started expecting those sparks from every future relationship, you’d be lonely forever. But all you could wish for was him. The way he was around you, how he talked to you… the way your body was on fire when he so much as breathed near you. The thought choked you. There was no way you’d be hung up on him forever. You had to move on. It had to be as fast as possible, and tonight should be it. How often would a guy agree to go on a date with you anyway?

So, when his hand landed on your thigh again, and slipped under the hem of your dress, you didn’t stop him. You forced a smile, hoping somehow your body would cooperate, and you’d actually start enjoying it. His nails were long, digging into your upper thigh, inching closer to your underwear.

“Maybe we could play a drinking game or something. To get to know each other better” You suggested.

“Okay” He agreed, pulling his bar stool closer and leaned in, “Name of the last guy you fucked”

Your eyes widened, “Whoa. You’re getting right to it…” What game was this? Why would he want to know that anyway?

He tilt his head, smirking, “Don’t stall. You have fucked, right?”

Oh… So he just wanted to know if you were a virgin. “Yeah. I have” You tried to change the topic, trying not to feel disgusted at this implication, “Isn’t it my turn to ask you something now? I mean…according to the game”

Kangmin smiled, lazily, running a hand through his curls, “You’re…already playing pretty hard to get though. We’ll have plenty of time to know each other. My place is pretty close. We’ve got all night.”

So…he probably only picked this bar because he lived close by. Maybe this was his way of flirting with you, or you ended up going on a date with the worst guy in Korea. This was how the rest of your life would be? He leaned in closer to you, and his breath reeked of beer, and you realised in horror that he wanted to kiss you. You couldn’t. You moved away, before his lips could touch yours, hoping your unease would disappear, “Sorry. I’m nervous”

He hummed, almost taking this as a challenge, hand sliding under your dress completely, “A few more drinks then?”

You felt nauseous, instead of turned on. God, what the fuck were you doing here. This was a mistake. You couldn’t do this. “Actually. I’m just…gonna run to the bathroom for a minute” You grabbed your purse.

He sat up straighter, a smirk on his lips, “Oh? That’s where you want to take this?"

Your eyes widened at his implication, “What? No…I…I just need to go”

“Oh” He looked disappointed, and a little confused, like he couldn’t comprehend why you wouldn’t want to fuck him in a random club bathroom.

You got up, making your way through the dance floor. When you looked back, he was already ordering another beer for the two of you. You shouldn’t have agreed to this date. You don’t know what you expected. It had surely helped Hana, but she moved on from Yeonjun with Hyunjin. Of course that helped her. For their date, he took her to the coolest Japanese restaurant in Daejon, and a part of you thought tonight could be like that. Of course it couldn’t. That was her. That was him. This was all you.

It was freezing outside, and there was an alley of smokers right at the exit. Mostly old men, and some younger girls, blowing puffs of smoke into your face as you passed them. You leaned against the brick wall, trying to book a cab, but to your luck, there were none available. Your first instinct was to text Yeonjun, but he was on a work retreat, as far as you remember. Although Jeonghan… had told you he was going to be out in the city today. If he was close enough…maybe he could help you get home. You dialled his number.

“Y/N! how’s it going?” He asked, and then immediately said, “Wait, if you’re calling me in the middle of your date that means—”

“Can you come pick me up? Please. There’s no taxis” You blurted. A few of the smokers were eyeing you up, and you covered your chest with your arms, stepping away from their cloud of smoke, “And um…I don’t feel comfortable taking the train back alone”

He paused, “Uhh…you’re at the bar downtown?”

“Yeah…I know it’s out of the way. I’m really sorry to bother you, I just—”

“I’m on my way, Y/N. Don’t apologise”

You squeezed your eyes shut in relief. You tried to catch your breath, but there was no fresh air here. Minutes passed so slowly, and you were shivering against the brick wall. Everytime a guy approached you, you just pretended to be on your phone, hoping Jeonghan would be here soon. The back door to the club opened, and your blind date, Kang-min stepped out. He walked straight to you, and he looked…really pissed. You straightened up, watching him get closer. “What the fuck?” He laughed, “I was waiting for you to come back”

“I…I’m sorry” You apologised, “I was feeling sick”

He seemed upset, “You didn’t even pay for your drink”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I just—” You reached into your purse, but just as you did, you spotted Jeonghan on the other side of the street. When he saw you, he did a little jog up to you.

You looked back at Kang-min, “I have to go. My friend is here”

“What?” Your blind date asked, stepping closer.

“Whoa, whoa. Back off, dude" Jeonghan made it to you, eyes narrowed at him, “Let’s go, Y/N” He grabbed your hand, pulling you to his side.

Kang-min laughed, “Whatever. You aren’t even that hot, bitch”

Before you could say anything, Jeonghan tugged at your hand, taking you away from a possible confrontation, “Come on, the subway is close by”

“Fuck. Shit. I’m really sorry” You apologised, running your hands through your hair, trying to process what you just put yourself through. You followed behind him as you walked to the nearest station. He shook his head, making sure you stayed close to him, “No, no don’t be. I’m sorry it took me so long. I missed this stop at first”

Technically, you could have taken the train home yourself, but it was late and…you were in the worst mood. Jeonghan bought the tickets, and you waited at the platform, squeezing your purse in your hands. A little bakery was still open at the station, and he asked, “You already ate dinner, right?”

“Yeah. Let’s just go home” You mumbled. He did not need to know that your supposed fancy dinner date consisted of only cheap beer. You could have some cold pizza when you got home. The train arrived, and you boarded it, standing next to him in a corner, away from the crowd. You were so fucking embarrassed, but he wasn’t judging you.

So no more blind dates for you then… or perhaps it was a work in progress, and you would just have to keep powering through. It wasn’t Minnie’s fault either, she had no idea about the guy being…such an asshole. You stared out at the window as the train whizzed by stations, trying to not feel so sorry for yourself. Jeonghan asked you about the blind date, and you told him the gist of it.

He shook his head, releasing a groan, “That sounds really annoying, sorry. It sucks that most guys I know here are all like that. I’m surprised he even let you leave”

You swallowed, “Yeah. Were you busy when I called?”

“I was just working on an assignment”

“Oh, I’m sorry”

“I’m obviously kidding” He laughed, “It’s a Saturday night, I was at a party at my friends’”

“Oh. Is he gonna be mad you left?”

“It doesn’t matter. I told him my friend needed help getting out of a date. He totally understood. This happens here more than you think, unfortunately”

Your place wasn’t too far from the bar, and you arrived sooner than you thought. Jeonghan even chose to walk you home, not wanting you to take any deserted alleys on your own. You stopped in front of your building, and he asked you, “You gonna be fine?”

You blew a puff of cold air, leaning against the front wall, “Yeah. I just…I don’t think I should have gone on the date”

He tucked a stray hair behind your ear, smiling at you, “At least you have a funny story to tell the kids”

You scoffed, “What kids? At this rate, I’m going to die alone”

“You’re dramatic. I’m sure the other dates you go on will be better. Hopefully”

“Yeah…” You already dreaded the idea of going on more dates, “I just thought…it’d help me not be stuck in the past, you know? Or maybe the only thing that can help me is that potion from the movie you were telling me about. Eternal Sunshine, was it?”

Jeonghan laughed loudly, “It’s not a potion, Y/N! It’s a science fiction movie, not fantasy”

You rolled your eyes, smiling, “Whatever”

“Maybe we can get you on a dating app. If you’re looking to casually mess around with a decent guy, those are good. It requires more effort, but…some guys are sweet. At least better than the blind date you had”

You smiled, “Hmm. Are you on a dating app?”

“Why? Would you swipe on me, if you saw me on one?” He sounded so coy.

Your eyes flickered over him. Under the lights on the street where you lived, Jeonghan looked pretty. He looked safe. Tonight he was dressed in a simple white tee, a flannel covering him, hanging off one shoulder. You smiled, a flush rising to your cheeks, “No but seriously, thanks for…rescuing me tonight”

“Mmh, that was very damsel in distress of you to call me like that”

You smiled up at him, “Don’t push it”

“I’m just surprised you actually agreed to go on a date. Minnie and her girlfriend must have had some magical convincing powers”

You sighed, “I thought kissing somebody else would help me. Maybe I should have just let him kiss me, but I might have thrown up if he did. Tonight…was an absolute failure.”

Jeonghan let out a soft hum at your words, “I see”

“What?” You frowned, standing up straighter.

“Ah. Don’t pout. Wasn’t a total failure. I got to see you all dressed up. You’re usually showing up to class in just sweats”

“Are you making fun of my heartbreak?” You laughed, pushing him lightly.

He stumbled back on the curb, laughing, “And are you trying to kill me? Don’t push me onto the road, Y/N!”

You giggled, pulling him back on the sidewalk, “There’s no cars, Jeonghan. You’re so dramatic”

He frowned, throwing his hands up, “I was just saying that if you want to kiss someone tonight. I…wouldn’t be totally opposed to the idea.”

He floated that suggestion so casually. Your eyes widened at it, and you didn’t know what to make of it, “You’re…joking, right?”

He shrugged, and there was no nervousness, “If your big dream of tonight was to kiss some guy…I mean, you’re my friend. It’s not a big deal”

“So a pity kiss?” You frowned, but a smile tugged at your lips.

He rolled his eyes, “Oh my god. If you don’t want a kiss, then just—”

You didn’t let him finish, stepping ahead, hand grabbing his face down to yours. Your mouth met his, if only to shut him up. He immediately kissed you back, hands threading through your hair, messing up your fancy hair. His lips were rough, but it was nice…because it was different. That’s exactly what you wanted right now, a taste of something new and unfamiliar. Maybe you were trying to prove something by kissing him. He stepped ahead to be closer, and tilt his head, deepening the kiss. Your breath hitched in your throat, and you pulled away. It only lasted a few seconds.

He pulled back too, mouth stained from your lipstick, “Mm. That wasn’t too bad”

You stared up at him, “You’re so annoying”

He hummed, voice breathy, “Your lips are really soft, Y/N. What lip balm do you use?”

You sighed, “I should have just pushed you on the street”

“Ouch. I just gave you a pity kiss and you have the audacity to threaten me?”

“Shut up!” You laughed, shoving him away. You were thankful he didn’t make this awkward and didn’t read into it.

“No, I’m serious. It was really, really good. You’re a great kisser…but I should tell you, and this is really important…”

“Yes…?”

“You taste like cheap beer”

“Ugh…I know” You closed your eyes, feeling tiredness seep into your limbs, “Anyway, I should go”

He nodded at you, “Yup. See you in class tomorrow”

You waved goodbye, making your way up to your apartment, feeling the sensation of his lips on yours still. The kiss was nice…but there was nothing electric about it. It was nothing like what it could be. It’s like you’d taken one step forward, and two steps back. Tonight was all about moving on, but everything that happened had just made you miss Hyunjin more.

»»————-

This time, you bought the coffee. You found a cute table, over by the window, and you waited. Your earphones were plugged in, but it’s on mute, and you’re choosing to listen to the sounds of the cafe instead. The cafe you discovered with your friends was so cute. Plants hung from every corner, and there was cool seating; couches with crochet pillows and pink heart-shaped seats. It had so much personality, and it fuelled your inspiration. It could be your new haven.

The chair opposite you shifted, and Kairi sat down. “There you are. I’m dying for some caffeine” She smiled, cherry-colored lips. She was dressed in a fleece bomber jacket. You shot her a smile, trying to not be nervous, “Hey… Did you want a Mocha? I wasn’t sure if you’d like the same as last time”

“Americano” She told you, settling comfortably like you did this each day. She had been so sweet to you even in the few moments you had with her. She was a breath of fresh air. So, after your failure of a date, you had finally texted her back, and decided to let her into your life. Maybe you could immerse yourself into your new friendships, and you could move on like that. When you were standing in line to buy her coffee, you glanced in her direction and she was smiling at you, fondly. She hadn’t seemed upset that you didn’t text her back for so long. You wondered how much she knew about you, how much Hyunjin told her, or even Chan.

When you walked back to the table with coffee and snacks, you feared there might not be anything to talk about if she already has existing assumptions of you, but once your conversation started…it didn’t end.

“So you’ve only been here a few weeks right?” Kairi was sipping on her coffee, a plate of half-eaten biscuits laid between you. From here, you had a perfect view of the street and it looked Parisian. It’s good for people-watching, but right now, Kairi’s the most interesting thing here, “You seem like you’re settling in well”

“I think so. I’ve lost track” You answered her, reaching for a biscuit, “I moved here in the fall, and it’s almost winter now, but it also feels like no time has passed”

“You’re so lucky” She hummed.

You lift an eyebrow, “Why?”

“I’ve always had this crazy dream, to move somewhere new. A place where people would have absolutely no idea who I am. I could have a new name, new job” She laughed, “Like a secret identity”

“Why would you want that?”

She shrugged, wiping biscuit crumbs off her mouth, “I’m curious to see what kind of person I might be in another country… if I’d behave differently, if I’d have different reactions to situations…if I’d have the same kind of friends, or job”

“Oh…wow” You blinked, “You’ve actually thought it through”

“Well, yes” She shook her head, smiling, “You did start over. How’s that been for you, Y/N?"

You leaned back in your seat, it’s a plush leather and pink in color. In this moment, it doesn’t feel like this is the first real conversation you’re having with her, “It’s harder in practice, Kairi. I think your baggage ends up following you everywhere”

She leaned forward, and her eyes were sparkling, “No, but what if it didn’t? What if you could have…a clean slate? What would you do, Y/N?”

“What would I do….?” You’re left wondering. In a way, Seoul was your clean slate, but you’ve let it be tainted by your sadness, “I think I’d move to Paris…or a big city like Milan. I would…have a cool, catchy name, and I’d dye my hair a crazy color”

Kairi laughed, “Really? And what would you do in a city so big?”

“I don’t know. I would love to set up those little stalls at crowded places like the Eiffel Tower, and paint tourists, capturing them at their happiest. People are always so carefree on their vacations, and they’re always dressed their best. Even if I don’t make much money doing their portraits…I’d kill to give them a beautiful memory, something they could hang on their fridge door or something, you know what I mean? It’s not ambitious at all but man, I could imagine doing that for years and enjoying it”

Kairi was smiling wide, eyes crinkling as you talked, and you suddenly felt embarrassed for the way you’d been rambling, “Um sorry. I don’t know what came over me. That’s not what you asked”

This was strange because…you haven’t felt excited like this in a long while. You felt inspired. It’s as if something has changed, just from her presence. She put you at ease.

“No, you’re so cute. Your dreams are beautifully simplistic” She told you, and you almost blushed.

“What would you do, Kairi? If you could be anyone in the world?” You had a newfound vigor and energy, only from this conversation alone. Was it really so simple to find motivation?

“I would move to the countrysides of Japan…or an island in Hawaii. Somewhere away from people. It would be nice to have so much time for myself, and not be surrounded by millions of others”

Your heart warmed hearing her talk, “We want the exact opposite things. That’s kind of funny. You should move to Daejon”

Kairi laughed, “Hyunjin told me it was beautiful”

Your smile fell, momentarily, and you nodded, “It is. Yeah. What else did he tell you…about me?”

Her lips parted, to answer, but before she could, your phone buzzed loudly on the table.

“Who is that?” She asked. You looked up at her in surprise. “Sorry” She apologised, cheeky, “I’m nosy like that”

“It’s my neighbour” You told her, reading Jeongin’s text, “Apparently he locked himself out. He needs help getting back in”

She frowned, “That’s annoying”

“Yeah, he’s always helping me get in, like every second day…” You told her, typing in a reply to tell Jeongin you’d be there soon.

Kairi sat up straighter, a sad pout on her face, “I guess that means you have to leave”

“Yeah. Shit” You realised, “I’m sorry. I would like to stay more—”

She reached across the table, grabbing your hand, and you noticed she’s wearing a charm bracelet, similar to one you had, “Don’t worry about it. You’ll just have to make it up to me then”

You tilt your head, “How?”

“Same time. Tomorrow”

You smiled at her eagerness, “Um…I’m not sure if I’ll be free, Kairi. I might have class…”

She squeezed your hand, “Regardless, I’ll be here. I have some work on my laptop…and I prefer to work out here, so…”

And that was it.

You rushed home to Jeongin, helping him get into the building, and he was intensely apologetic of cutting your plan short. He’d been standing on the porch steps, hands in his pockets, and a sheepish smile on his face, “Shit. I ruined your day, didn’t I?”

You shook your head, inserting your keys into the doorknob, “Not at all. I wasn’t going to let you stand out here in the cold. And are we still in the 18th century? You should talk to Mr. Kwon and have digital keypads put in or something. He loves you, so he’d listen to you”

He watched you from where he stood, arms crossed over his chest, “What happened today?”

You glanced back at him, “Sorry?”

“You haven’t had a proper conversation with me in days”

You stilled, not realising that you’d done so, you hadn’t meant to be so flippant, “Jeongin, I’m sorry, I…”

“You don’t need to apologise. It’s good. I like it. You seem chatty today”

You smiled, “Um. I just met a friend for coffee”

“Ah. Is that all it takes to win your heart?”

You rolled your eyes, “Stop…”

“Is it the same friend that dropped you off the other day? That boy?”

Your eyes widened, “How do you know that? Have you been spying on me”

“You wish” He walked past you on the stairs, “That was an awkward kiss, Y/N. Haven’t your friends in the city taught you anything yet?”

You gasped, following up after him, “What do you mean it was awkward?”

Jeongin laughed, stopping in front of his apartment door, “I’m kidding. Is that dude your boyfriend?”

You hugged your bag, leaning against the stairwell, “No… he’s just my friend from class”

Jeongin smiled, “I see…well, if you ever wanna hang out with someone not from your class…” He pointed to his door, “My doorbell’s right here”

Then he left, and you stood at the stairwell, a soft smile on your face.

»»————-

The table by the window with the heart-shaped chairs was occupied. Kairi sat on one side, laptop before her, a cup of tea and a gochujang sandwich with the meat spilled out. The chair opposite her was empty, for you. She didn’t see you when you walked in, too busy typing super fast on the laptop. “No coffee today?” You asked, sitting down.

She seemed surprised, cheeks dimpling as she smiled at you, looking away from her work, “You made it. How was class?”

You hung your scarf over the back of the pink seat, glancing outside. It could have been a beautiful afternoon, if the weather weren’t so dreary. “It was just work in studio time... I left early.”

“You’re kidding me. I feel special” She grinned, eyebrows raising teasingly. She is special. There’s something about her that’s changed the energy in you, making you get out of bed today.

“I didn’t want to keep you waiting” You admitted, folding your arms on the little table, “And I thought we could pick up where we left off. I was wondering about it all night”

“Hmm, right. You can text me too, you know?” She leaned forward, head in her hands, “You asked me a question yesterday. You still want to know?”

You’d asked her what Hyunjin had said about you, and you swallowed. Immediately there’s a damper in your mood, “I…I was just really curious, because…” What if he talked shit about you? What if all she knew about you were your flaws? Your gut hurt and you shook your head, “Actually, I don’t want to know, never mind”

She sensed the drop in you, “Don’t worry about that. You’re mine to know now”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…I want to know you on my own terms. Not through secondhand stories of your personality. We don’t need to talk about him, at all”

It’s like a weight lifted off your chest, “We don’t…?”

You don’t want your friendship with her to stem from Hyunjin, because…Hyunjin has given up on you. He’s lost all hope for the two of you, and you can’t let that taint this new beginning. In an ideal world, you could erase him from your mind, and nothing would be tainted by the beauty of his existence. He’s ruined everything for you, because the happiness of nothing can compare to him.

You want the exclusivity of her. She wants to know you without the attached drama of broken hearts. You also want to know the real Kairi, without Chan, and it seems like she wants to know you too, without Hyunjin.

“We don’t have to ever talk about him, if you don’t want to. I don’t want to spend all our time talking about boys anyway” She smiled, and it’s a relief. Your shoulders relax. You don’t want to relive the past like you did with Minnie and Jamie.

You smiled too, “Well anyway…I see that you’re having tea today”

She laughed, a pleasant sound that calmed you, “Well, if we’re going to be doing this everyday, I have to start being more healthy”

“Everyday…?”

A single cup of coffee turned into a week’s worth. A week turned into a month, and quickly, it became obvious that she was your favourite person to hang out with in the city. Yeonjun was there, but he was different. Jeonghan and Minnie were closer to you everyday, but you only talked about art. Kairi and you talked about everything, and anything. Anything except him. She told you about her work, about the drama and the gossip with her coworkers. You told her about the movies Felix used to drag you to, and the music that played on repeat in Aera’s. You hadn’t made time for a movie since forever, so one day, she took you to the theater and instead of your routine coffee, you had soda.

You like to sketch while you talk, and she sits across you, finishing up her work. Her corporate job is tough, but you keep each other entertained. Your art still isn’t too inspired. You’re struggling, and you come home to an empty bed each night. There’s nights you get lost in the memories of summer, and there are mornings when you wake up from dreams of him. Sweet dreams. Dirty dreams. Beautiful, out-of reach dreams. In your dreams, he’s yours still.

All your afternoon naps remind you of him. Something about the sunlight, the warm wooden floors and you have an urge to be in his arms. So you stop sleeping during the day. In the moonlight and secrecy of your bed, you still touch yourself to thoughts of only one boy. You can’t help it.

All of the people who said time heals all wounds, were actually right. Each day, the burden is less. It feels like you were inching closer and closer to a state of not just being heartbroken. You had your moments though, like when Jeonghan would take you home after class, the skyscrapers would reflect onto the train windows, and you’d think of how prettier the blinding lights would be through Hyunjin’s eyes. Your own couldn’t capture the beauty he could see.

There’d be moments -- when someone in the coffee shop would order a vanilla iced latte with whipped cream and sprinkles, and your heart would skip a beat, wondering if he’d be on the other end of the counter to take it. But of course, Hyunjin could never walk into a crowded coffee shop in the middle of Seoul.

On the other hand…Kairi and you are closer every day. The day you invited her to your apartment, she met Jeongin on the staircase, and she fawned over how contagious his smile was. She picked you up from the Atelier one day, and bumped into your friends from class, and she loved them too. She can be intimidating sometimes, with her classy clothes, bold personality…but she has endless love to give to everyone, and she’s not a fan of keeping it hidden. You love that the most about her. It’s easy to be happier around her. You wonder how her and Chan ever made it work. A love like theirs shouldn’t be behind closed doors.

On a Thursday afternoon, you were none the wiser when she told you, “So…my birthday’s next week”

You spilled your coffee at the revelation, staring up at her in shock, “You’re telling me now?”

Her eyes widened at the reaction, and she pulled out a tissue from the dispenser to wipe the table clean as she laughed, “Why not?”

“That’s…not enough time”

“For?”

“I have to buy you a present”

She giggled, “A present? You don’t need to, Y/N”

You scoffed, and you’re so much more comfortable around her now, “I kind of have an obsessive problem when it comes to birthdays”

She shook her head, “You really don’t need to get me anything. Some of my friends from work are throwing a party, and I’d like you to be there. Obviously”

“A party?”

She smiled, “It’ll be fun. You can invite Jeonghan too. It won’t be too big a thing, but I’m guessing there’s gonna be a lot of plus-ones”

“Where is it?”

She smiled, sipping her coffee in between. She’d given up on tea after the first time, “So…there are these campgrounds outside Seoul. It’s a few hours from the city, it’s alongside the bank of the Han River. There’s a lot of…outdoorsy shit there, volleyball courts, barbecue grills, some cabins if anyone wants to stay overnight, canoes. I was thinking it’d be nice to go there.

“That…sounds amazing actually”

“I don’t know what to wear yet. Everybody’s going to be in swimsuits, since the river’s right there and my friends all love to go out on it, skinny dip and everything”

“Oh wow” You blinked, and Kairi’s friends sound as free-spirited as her, “Maybe…I could help you choose what to wear?”

She clapped her hands, a wide smile on her face and you love seeing her like this, “Perfect. I know what we’re doing tomorrow”

»»————-

The curtains of the trial room parted, and Kairi stepped out, doing a spin for you. The lights of the boutique are harsh, but Kairi looks amazing. She doesn’t dress up much — you’ve seen her entire range of dark sweaters, and graphic jackets over the weeks by now.

“Shit, you look amazing” You realised, eyes roaming her figure. A black bikini hugged her tightly, and it was the sexiest swimsuit you’d ever seen. Under the bust, two silver chains hugged her torso, sparkling under the store lights, wrapping around her navel too.

She had a smile on her lips, and she seemed satisfied with it too, “Is this the one?”

You’re in a cute boutique, it sells dresses and swimsuits and silver jewellery. It’s decorated prettily, and there’s not many people here because it’s not summer. It’s rapidly approaching winter, and in a few weeks, it’ll be Christmas.

“It’s the one” You nodded, standing up to circle around her, “You look…gorgeous. Everybody will fall in love with you”

Her smile fell at those words.

You must have said the wrong thing, “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head, “Chris would love it so much. He was always hyping me up, especially when I bought new clothes because I barely ever did”

She didn’t talk about him much. In fact, this was one of the first few times she brought him up. Every time she did talk about him, it was with confidence. They had broken up ages ago, but she was never angry about it. How does she possess such ease in her, to talk of a failed love? If it was so confident, why would it end?

With trepidation, you voiced your thoughts, “Can I…ask you what happened?”

It was a shot in the dark, of course. She didn’t have to tell you the truth, and you could handle not knowing. She wasn’t surprised you’d asked. She just sat down on the boutique floor, stretching her legs onto the fluffy carpet, “Uh…it’s not that big of a deal”

You joined her, crossing your legs, touching her hand, “You can tell me, but only if you’re comfortable with that”

“Someone threatened to kill me” She chuckled.

“What?”

“It was probably an empty threat” She shrugged, “No big deal”

“But…why? What, I don’t understand?”

She tilt her head, “You know Yoko Ono?”

“John Lennon’s wife?”

She nodded, “After she got married to him, and The Beatles broke up…everybody blamed her for it. Apparently he was putting her before the music, and she was one of the reasons the band ended. Could you imagine how much people hated her? They singlehandedly blamed her for the breakup of…the most iconic band in the world”

Your brows furrowed, “But what has that got to do with you?”

“A few months ago, a paparazzi spotted Chan…at a luxury store” She breathed in. Your heart skipped a beat, watching Kairi talk.

“I guess he was…looking at engagement rings. I don’t know for sure. Maybe he was buying something for himself” She breathed, “But after the news of that came out and people realised that the Bang Chan may be getting married…”

“Oh…”

“People think I’m gonna be the Yoko Ono here” She forced a smile, “That he’s gonna get caught up in this relationship, and not pay attention to their music. That he’ll choose me over the fame”

“Kairi…I’m so sorry” You traced a soothing circle on her skin, but you had goosebumps from just listening to her, “That’s fucking unfair”

“Anyway, those pictures were the beginning of the threats. I wasn’t too concerned…because honestly, Chris is the only thing that mattered to me, if he was happy, if he was okay. As long as he was good, I would be too. But Pegasus thought they were real. And Chris…he was scared for me”

“I’d be scared too”

She let out another scoff, but she was shaking, and you could tell how much this bothered her, “So instead of marrying the love of my life…we broke up.”

Your chest wrenched, “I’m…so sorry, Kairi”

She nodded, head bending down, and squeezed your hand, “I’m sorry too. It’s stupid that the entire life me and him had planned together may not ever happen because of a few threats posted online by losers. Maybe they were real though. I don’t know. I guess I’ll never know”

“Couldn’t the company do something about it?”

She scoffed, “The company won’t do shit. They can protect Chris all they want, but they’d never step up to protect his partner. Their entire image revolves around them being single…and available. Sex sells. Their sex appeal is more important to them than his life”

It wasn’t a competition, but her heartbreak was much worse than yours. She had everything, and then she lost it. You mumbled, and you hurt for her, “It’s…not fair at all”

“Yeah. Anyway, me and Chris weren’t getting along towards the end of that. We disagreed on a lot of shit.” She nodded, lifting her head up to meet yours, “The breakup was hard on the others too. Especially Hyunjin, he…” She paused, “It’s almost like he took it personally”

The name sang to your heart, coursing through your veins like lifeblood, making your pulse quicker. “He loved the two of you together” You ended up saying.

Kairi smiled at you, “He tell you about us?”

“Yeah…he said I’d really love you”

She smiled, eyes crinkling, “He was clearly right about that”

“Can I… ask you something?” You said, and she nodded, “Do you ever think you’ll get back together?”

She smiled, “I mean, I can hope, but unfortunately…the decision would have to lie with Chris. If things go wrong, he could lose everything. I would lose nothing…except him. So in the end, it’s up to him. Right now, I think it’s impossible. In summer, a news website threatened to publish about our relationship. Chris isn’t equipped to deal with the fallout that comes with that”

“Oh…I’m sorry”

She took another breath, “Um, we should probably get off the floor before the employees sees us. It’s your turn to try on a bikini anyway”

You couldn’t understand where she conjured up all her positivity from, and you shook your head once you realised what she’d said, “Oh, no Kairi, I have a swimsuit already”

She shrugged, tugging your arm to make you stand up, “You’re going to get a new one though. It’s my birthday, you have to”

“But…” You protested, as she lightly shoved you towards the rack. Tons of bikinis hung on it, ranging from all different styles and colors. Ombre, mismatched, bejeweled. “I don’t know…” You touched the material of a blue one, wondering how you’d pick one.

“How about this lilac?” She asked, pulling a set out. It was too sexy, and too out there. It was the kind of thing Hana would force you to wear. Kairi must have noticed the drop in your expression, because she spoke, “Actually, I’m sure we can find another one”

After some looking around and a lot of nudges from her, you settled on a red bikini set. It was…beautiful. It looked like a thing you’d see on a model in a catalogue. There were metal hearts instead of strings, on either side of the underwear. You’d never be one for vanity, but right now…you could stare at yourself for hours. It fit you perfectly, like nothing else ever had, almost as if it was made for just your body, nobody else’s. When you stepped out, Kairi was patiently waiting on the ottoman. She was rocking her heels back and forth, and she still hadn’t changed out of her final pick, “Holy shit” She grinned, “We’re…gonna look so fucking hot!”

You giggled, “You’re looking forward to it, right? I wanna help your friends plan it too, if that’s okay”

She pulled you into a hug, warm arms enveloping around you. You were still in your swimsuits with the tags on, but you melted into her embrace as she mumbled, “Of course that’s okay! Plus, you’re gonna be there …so I’m not worried about anything”

»»————-

The campgrounds were beautiful, and the party was in full swing. Green grass stretched for miles, running alongside the Han river. Bordering on the outskirts of Seoul, it was far from all the noise, the pollution, and the constant ringing of the sirens. They weren’t just normal campgrounds though. Instead of cabins, there were little glass houses, hidden beneath trees with floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out onto the river, which people could book for vacation rentals all year round. Everything in the city was more boujee. Even nature. It’s like the city folk had figured a way to camp without the mosquitos and the discomfort and glamorised it, fit for celebrities and socialites.

A volleyball court was constructed on a stretch of sand, and a wooden dock extended onto the river, canoes attached to it that anybody could borrow. Pink and yellow inflatables floated down the water, occupied by some of Kairi’s friends who were already so drunk and it was only midday.

Pretty lanterns hung across poles, the only lighting for this place, and even a freaking DJ booth was set up by the bonfire. It all had a modern festival vibe, and Kairi told you that this place usually booked a lot of small rock gigs over weekends. The campgrounds were public, but she had rented out an area for the day. Her friends from work were originally supposed to be planning everything, but you were also helping them now. For someone who hated parties, you sure loved planning them. It was a perfect distraction, from the stress of classes. The venue for Felix’s birthday had been naturally beautiful, but it couldn’t compare to the extravagance of the city.

You’d driven up here in the early hours of the morning, and Jeonghan had been a boon. He’d helped you unload the crate of beers from his car, loading them into ice-cold pink coolers you’d situated every few metres across the riverbank. It was a hotter day than usual, despite the city being on the brink of imminent snowfall, so cold drinks…were a must.

Most people had arrived at the campgrounds in the late afternoon, checking in at the front-desk before making their way towards the river. Kairi had a ton of friends, most of them from work, and you weren’t the corporate type, so you maintained a little distance, choosing to be orchestrating everything behind the scenes more. That’s why you were at the barbecue right now, grilling meat for some hotdogs.

Jeonghan had long abandoned you. His red swim shorts are easy to spot, and the official dress code of this party was just swimwear. He was supposed to be helping you cook but he was stretched out on the riverbank, sketching instead. He must have been really inspired, and from where you stood, you could see him with his feet up in the sky, nose buried in a little sketchbook. It was sweet of him to come, and he was the only person you knew, so you were grateful that he was here.

A frisbee whizzed past you, and you looked up to see Kairi giggling. “Shit! I almost hit you, didn’t I?” She looked beautiful, and the silver chains on her swimsuit sparkled in the sun as she ran around the grass, indulged in a serious game of frisbee with her friends. You smiled back at her, “I’ll forgive you, but only because it’s your birthday”

Ever since she’d told you the truth of what went down between her and Chan, you’d grown fonder of her, and almost protective in a sense. She was so much stronger than you, and you could learn a little from her in terms of positivity. She had introduced you to all her friends, but they were too many names for you to remember. Sohee, Jinsoo, Eric, etc. You’d assigned yourself to the snacks, not feeling too confident in greeting her guests.

“Do you want it crispy all the way through?” You called out to her, pork belly sizzling against the pan as you tossed it. This made you feel useful. It was better to not let your mind wander, instead you filled it with little responsibilities such as this.

She ran up to the grill, frisbee still in her hands, “Why are you all the way over here?”

You gestured to the barbeque, and the plates of snacks, “Somebody’s got to feed your guests”

“They can feed themselves, Y/N. We should go in the river while the sun is still out!” She grabbed your arm, and started leading you away from the barbecue, “I’m sure Nate can take over anyway”

You weren’t going to argue with that. You’d missed swimming, and being in the water, so, you let her pull you into the river. In the cold water, surrounded by nature on all sides, it almost felt like home. Kairi swam over to you, a big smile on her face, “Fuck. The sun feels so good”

You drifted closer, smiling, “I’m glad you’re happy. It’s kind of your day, you should be”

“I’m really, really fucking grateful that dude spilled a drink on me and we met in that club bathroom…”

You laughed, clasping your hand with hers as you swam in the water together, “Well. I’m sure there’s nicer ways for us to meet”

She rolled her eyes, “No, are you kidding? That was the best one. I needed someone like you in my life”

You giggled, “Someone like me?”

“We haven’t even know each other that long, if you think about it. Honestly, I never even thought you’d text me back, because…of him” She paused, “But I think you sacrifice your peace for others, and…I don’t know anyone else like you”

You swallowed, and you didn’t want to get emotional in the middle of the river, “Kairi…tell me you didn’t bring me in the water just to make me cry”

“Actually” She corrected herself, a small chuckle following, “I did know one person like you”

You don’t have to probe to know she’s talking about Chan.

“You remind me of him. As crazy as that sounds” She hummed.

“I’m sorry things didn’t work out between you” You apologised, and you were caressing her shoulder now, rubbing it.

She wrapped her arms around your waist, and her body felt warm against yours, “You don’t have to be sorry. I’m sorry I keep bringing him up. It’s like second nature for me. Does the same ever happen with you…?”

There can’t be a better day than today for you to move on, so you forced a smile, “No. I don’t think of Hyunjin anymore. It’s in the past…” It’s a complete lie, but one day, you’re hoping it will come true. Kairi doesn’t know everything that happened in the end and she doesn’t need too. She doesn’t know he gave up on you, all she knows…is that you don’t talk anymore.

Resignation settled in her gaze, “So…you’re completely okay with him?”

You nodded, “Yup. Anyway, um I don’t know about you but… I’m starving. Should we get the hotdogs?”

Kairi blinked but didn’t question your change of topic, “Sure. That’d be perfect”

You waded out of the water, jumping back onto the riverbank, and the air was prickly cold, but the sun was still warm in the sky. The DJ booth set up in the distance had a party playlist on repeat, and tons of people were dancing, some of Kairi’s friends, some just locals who were enjoying this area. The water droplets on your skin looked like glitter, and you ran over to the barbecue grill, dripping wet. Kairi’s friends, Sohee and Eric were indulging in a platter of pork ribs and grilled chicken, perched on a picnic table. They smiled at you as you approached them, “The water nice?”

You nodded, hugging yourself, “Mmh, you guys should get in while it’s still warm! If you guys don’t mind…could I please borrow a plate for Kairi?”

“Of course. Help yourself” Sohee smiled, black sunglasses resting on her head, and she was in a white one-piece swimsuit, “You’re…Kairi’s artist friend, aren’t you? We’ve heard a lot about you”

You laughed, flushing, “I hope good things”

Eric laughed, “You bet. Hey, we’re playing volleyball later, if you wanna join?”

You grabbed a plate of the sausages and bulgogi, “That sounds cool. I’m a terrible shot but I might join!” They laughed and you picked up some disposable cutlery, heading back to Kairi.

She was out of the water now, sunbathing on the grass and Jeonghan sat at her side.

“I got you some meat” You handed her the plate, balancing it on her stomach. Her arms were stretched behind her head, and she squinted under the sun at you, “Thanks, baby”

The term of endearment brought a flush up your chest, and you sat cross-legged next to her. It was crazy how fast you’d grown fond of each other, as if you were always destined to be such good friends. As you ate off her plate, Jeonghan brought you a couple of drinks. It seemed like he’d finally abandoned his sketchbook in favour of enjoying the place around him. Jeonghan yawned loudly, “This weather makes me want to take a nap”

“Well, I really don’t mind if you do” Kairi suggested to him.

Jeonghan laughed, “Really? I wouldn’t be the lamest person at this party?”

“You won that title hours ago” You joked. Jeonghan gasped dramatically, and lightly shoved you, “It’s rude that you’re not my self-proclaimed hype girl”

You pushed your sunglasses up your head, staring at him and trying not to laugh, “I’m sorry…your what?”

He blew a puff of air, and laid his head on your lap, “You know…I’m like always hyping you up in class. Making you laugh when you’re miserable—no offence— and even rescuing you from pathetic blind dates. You’re not gonna do the same for me?” He bit into a sausage, sauce smeared across his lips.

“You’re such a messy eater” You commented.

His eyes were closed and he smiled, “You can lick it off me, if it’s bothering you”

Kairi sat up, laughing, “What is going on with you two?”

You shook your head, “Nothing. He flirts with me when he’s drunk”

It was rapidly approaching nightfall, and that’s what you hated the most about winter: shorter days, longer nights. The sun set behind the forest, settling warm rays on your skin, drying the water from your swim off.

You smiled, indulging in this moment, wishing every day could be the same. You were in a beautiful place, with new friends and this could be your blank slate. Tonight could mark what you and Kairi had talked about – a real, fresh start. For the first time in weeks, your chest didn’t hurt.

»»————-

You knew you were terrible at coordinated sports, and it became obvious to everyone else too when you missed the fifth volleyball headed your way. Eric on the other team, did a fist-bump with his teammate at your loss, and Sohee sighed, “Just catch one, Y/N!”

You threw your hands up, a giggle escaping you, “You guys asked me to join. I told you I’m horrible at this stuff!” There were two teams, and the one with you was… horribly failing. Nobody took it too seriously so it was okay, it was for fun. It was just insane to you that you were playing volleyball next to the freaking river with strangers in Seoul. If past you found out about it, she’d absolutely freak out. You were counting every blessing, grateful to be here in the city, and you were making the most of tonight. You’d made Jeonghan join with you, and he was on the other team. Kairi was somewhere by the bonfire, dancing, and you could her loud singing along all the way over here.

“Just try to catch this next one, okay?” Jeonghan called at you over the net.

You were horrible at bowling too, but Seungmin had taught you once and after that you hadn’t been half as bad. All you had to do was focus, and channel all your built-up energy into shooting the ball, not get distracted by every other thing happening. You’d seen Sohee shoot enough successful ones to try to imitate her. So, you stepped up, rooting your feet in the sand, and she was cheering you on in the background. You didn’t even know her, so it was funny that she cared this much.

Jeonghan across the fence tossed the ball towards you. You don’t know what prompted you to jump, and this time you actually hit it with all the energy you could muster, your fist making contact with the ball, and it shocked Jeonghan so much that he forgot to serve entirely. “Are you kidding me?” He cried, crawling under the net to run up to you. He pulled you into a hug, arms wrapping around your body, “I knew you had it in you! All you needed was a little bit of humiliation to get you there”

“I barely hit!” You giggled, hugging him back, and his torso was warm to the touch, “And you’re supposed to be on the other team, but…thanks”

He rolled his eyes, holding you tight in his grip, “I’ll gladly let you win any day”

He was so touchy tonight. It must be the mix of alcohol, adrenaline and being away from the stresses of the art studio. His hand lingered on your waist, drifting close to your ass but you didn’t stop him. It was silly because you weren’t even into sports, you didn’t care about this volleyball game, but you were smiling widely, and it wasn’t forced.

Jeonghan let go of you, steadying you on the sand, and in your happy daze, you got up on your toes and kissed him, threading your hands through his hair. It was frizzy from the wind, and you settled on the nape of his neck. He smiled into the kiss, pressing your body to his, and he was only in his little swim-shorts, and you were only in your bikini so most of your skin touched his. It was a strange feeling, to be so physically close to somebody who wasn’t Hyunjin, but that would never happen again, and to curb the hurt, you kissed him deeper.

Sohee was laughing in the background, “You guys know the game isn’t over yet, right?”

This kiss didn’t mean anything, yet it meant everything. It meant that you could let go. Hyunjin didn’t want you in his life, and one day you’d be okay with that. Right now, you had to live in this moment. You wound your arms tighter around Jeonghan’s neck, and you kissed him deeply, and he was probably surprised that you were giving in so much, because he knew this wasn’t anything special. You surprised yourself too.

Kairi calling your name is what made you pull away from him, cheeks flushed with adrenaline. She was walking over to you, and you ran up to her, across the makeshift volleyball court, “Babe! Did you see me hit that ball?”

She looked like she’d seen a ghost though, and she reached for your hand, “Y/N. I need you, please”

“Wait, what’s wrong?” You frowned, stepping out with her.

She was fumbling over her words, “He’s here. Y/N. He’s here” Her eyes were wide in despair. She looked like she was going to cry, staccato mumbling, “I don’t know what to do”

You grabbed her arm, pulling her away from the game, You’d never seen her in such a state, “Kairi, please calm down. Who’s here? What’s going on?”

She squeezed her eyes shut, a tear spilling out, “Chan…Chan is here”

Fucking hell.

“Hey, hey, hey. Kairi, I need you to calm down, okay?”

Your heart had dropped into your gut, but you had to be there for her. She was breathing heavy, and her eyes were filling up with tears, smudging her mascara and her silver eyeliner, “I don’t know what to do. If I talk to him, I’ll end up doing something stupid, like kiss him or something”

You grabbed her gently by the shoulders, so she could look only at you and not be stimulated by the rest of the party, “I’m gonna handle it, okay? Kairi. I’ll take care of it. You don’t have to do anything”

Her eyes were wide, “What? You will? Are…are you sure?”

“Of course. It’s Chris, I got this” You held her chin, fingers caressing her jaw, “Today is your day. I don’t want you to stress about anything”

She let out a breath, a tear escaping, “Thank you, Y/N. I’m sorry, I just got really overwhelmed, I wasn’t expecting to see him and…I don’t know if he knows I’m even here”

“What do you want me to say to him?”

“Just…don’t send him away. I don’t want him to get hurt. But please…find out why he’s here. I’m so…fucking confused. Why today? What does he want?”

“I’ll talk to him” You looked around, eyes landing on a concerned Jeonghan. He was still playing the game, but his focus was on the two of you, “Can you go hang out with Jeonghan till then?”

She nodded absentmindedly, seemingly so lost, “Thank you...Fuck, I just…don’t know how to deal with this right now”

“Jeonghan?” You called out, and it only took him a second to abandon the game and run up to you. His eyes observed Kairi’s fragile state, “What’s up? Is everything okay?”

“Can you take her to the dock? I’ll catch you there in a bit, okay?”

He glanced at her, no questions asked, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, “Of course, no problem” He smiled at you, a dazzling grin that told you he’d take care of it, “Catch you in a few”

Then he took her away, leading her towards the other side of the campgrounds. The dock was nearer to the woods, hidden between the trees and the rocks, away from Chan. You’re sure the physical distance from the rest of the party would help Kairi calm a bit. You glanced at the volleyball game. They were all standing and waiting for you. Sohee had her hands on her hips, “You coming back?”

“I’m gonna have to ditch the game, sorry! Win for me, okay?” You shot her a smile.

“We’re gonna kick your ass, Y/N!” Eric yelled across. You laughed, waving them a goodbye as you walked over to the bonfire. That’s where Kairi said she saw him. You couldn’t understand. Why would Chan be here, and how had he heard about this party? Things between them had long ended, and there was no logical reason for him to come here suddenly. You were proud of yourself for staying calm though. Kairi was what mattered tonight, and you could easily deal with her ex.

There was a dance party situation happening around the fire. Everyone had congregated near it, and the DJ had long given up on playing good songs, settling for dance club music instead. From here, you could see the bonfire. One of Kairi’s friends, Jinsoo ran up to you, “Y/N, hey! Do you know where the rest of the beer is?’

You stopped to explain, you’d somehow become the unofficial host for this party and everyone must have noticed how close you and Kairi were. “Um, it should be in a pink cooler. We unloaded near the cabins”

“Great, thanks!” She smiled at you, running back there. Your eyes scanned the crowd around the fire. The sand here was warm, and it felt so good between your toes. Everybody was drinking, and dancing, making it harder for you to find him. You’d never seen Chan in person, but you’d seen so many pictures of him. It’d be second nature to recognise him.

Then, you spotted a boy by the fire, gaze frantically looking around the campgrounds, and you stepped up to him, making your way through the people dancing.

He was in a black sweatshirt, and dark jeans and he stood out, surrounded by girls in bright-colored bikinis, and boys in expensive swim-shorts. There was no telling from his stature that he was someone famous, which is probably why none of the guests were giving him a second look. You wonder if any of Kairi’s friends had ever known about their relationship. You weren’t nervous about this interaction, even though you should be. This was Hyunjin’s best friend. Why were you not freaking out? Maybe because you’d do anything to make sure Kairi had a good night.

“Chris?” You asked, voice low. You didn’t want to spook him.

At hearing his name, he turned to face you. Your heart jumped at the sight. He was beautiful in person. None of the pictures could do him justice. In the pictures, he had stage makeup and styled hair. Right now, natural curls fell into his face, and he looked so simple, like any other guy you’d pass by on the street.

“Hey. You’re Chris, right?” You spoke, and the only thing making you nervous was him looking right into your eyes, “I’m uh…I’m one of Kairi’s friends.” It was best to not say your name. His gaze was…very intense but you had to keep cool for her, so you smiled. A genuine, warm, smile.

The tension in his shoulders dissipated as understanding settled in his face, and he stepped up to you, clearing his throat, “Hey. Um, I go by Chan actually”

“Chan…” You repeated, smiling at him, fiddling with your fingers, “I wasn’t really expecting you to show up”

He sighed, hands in his pockets, “I know… I’m not on the guest list”

“She didn’t know you’re coming tonight”

“I wasn’t planning to” He answered, taking in another breath, and his voice was shaky, “I came straight from the studio. I drove…three straight hours to get here, on a whim. I know I’m not dressed for the party, but I need to see her right now”

Oh, wow… You hope you didn’t sound rude but this was in her best interest, so you said, “I’m sorry…I don’t know how to say this… but she’s not feeling great about this. How did you even know about the party?”

He was about to answer but it’s like he couldn’t find the words, struggling. Had he come here just to wish her for her birthday? It was hugely romantic, but there must be more he wanted to say. What would make him drive all the way here?

“Channie, she is not by the cabins either!” Someone yelled out.

You would recognize that voice anywhere.

Your heart stopped beating.

Within seconds, somebody came running up through the shadows of the trees. The air left your body, and you couldn’t breathe.

Hyunjin.

He stepped out into the light and all of the noise around you died.

The waves of the river were suddenly quiet, the forest was mute, the music was silent. Only your pulse ringing in your ears.

He was here. He was here. He was here.

Immediately, his gaze landed on you, and he stopped still in his footsteps.

There was no hiding his surprise. There was no pretending, or feigning of emotions. His mouth parted, eyebrows shooting up, eyes wide as he saw you.

Vision blackening, clouding, blurring, you could only see him in the centre, and your gut started squeezing you from the inside out.

Dark hair tied up into a bun, half of it hanging to his shoulders, he looked like he always did. Fucking unreal. He was dressed so simply, black sweater blending into the darkness. He got prettier each time you laid eyes on him. So fucking beautiful and you hated him for it.

His eyes were on yours, thick lips parted in shock, and it was cruel how your heart leapt out of your chest, as if you hadn’t been training to tame it all this while. The last time you saw him… flashed through your mind, memories pricking at you like a hundred thousand needles stabbing into your body. He left you, before you even had a chance. He didn’t even know you loved him.

You’d been trying so hard to move on, but here he fucking was, the one place you didn’t think he could be.

But you needed to be strong, for Kairi. This was all for her, and she was your saving grace. So you looked away from him, even if it took all of your fucking willpower. Your gaze found Chan, and suddenly the noises were back. The party was raging, the river was loud, the forest full of cacophony. Chan was saying your name repeatedly, and you’d tuned out completely. So had Hyunjin it seemed…because he snapped back to reality, a click going off in his head, and turned to his friend.

Chan stepped closer to you, “You’re Y/N…?”

You nodded, no words escaping at him recognising you. You’d been recognised. Of course you had. You and Hyunjin had been fucking staring at each like fools. It was a dead giveaway.

“I need to see her, Y/N.”

You ignored the peripheral gaze burning in the side of your face. Don’t fucking look at him. You stared right at Chan, “Chan, I can’t…”

“There’s something I need to say to her…and after that I’ll leave, I promise you” There was desperation in his voice, one you’d felt all these months.

It was the most difficult thing to not look at Hyunjin, when he was fucking staring at you. He’d always had your entire attention, any room he was in but right now you couldn’t afford to do that. It was so hard for you to ignore him, but it had been so easy for him before. You could do that to him too.

“I don’t know. She’s…really upset” You turned around, glancing over at the dock, then back at him, “Why tonight? She wants to talk to you, but—”

“I know you’re just trying to do right by her. Something I should have been doing all this time” He closed his eyes, “I understand if you’re gonna ask me to leave, but I promise you. If she says she doesn’t wanna see me, I’ll walk right out.”

You shook your head, guilt overwhelming you, “Chan—”

He continued speaking over you, “But if you’ve ever been in love, or…or loved someone, you’d understand why this is so fucking important to me”

You stared at him, lost for words. If you’d ever been in love…?

Hyunjin’s gaze on you was stronger than ever. It burned you.

He had said nothing this whole time. What was he thinking? You wanted to climb into his brain, read his mind and know what he thought of this question. Did Hyunjin have any fucking idea how much you loved him? You were so stupid crazy in love, you missed his silence too. And did Chan even understand the significance of what he was asking you? All of your emotions were cascading on top of each other, and the sane part of you was drowning in the waves. It was hard to speak, but you finally found the words, “She’s… by the docks. You can find her there”

They were the right words because Chan’s eyes lit up instantly, a smile spreading on his face, and he was beautiful like this, a warmth and comfort emanating from him. He was prettier when happy, and it looked like he couldn’t believe you’d said yes, “Thank you. Shit, thank you, Y/N. You’re an angel” He turned to Hyunjin, “I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Hyunjin asked him. His voice sent shivers down your spine.

“No, I…got this” Chan swallowed, and he suddenly looked nervous and doubtful of this.

Hyunjin stepped close to him, voice dropping, “It’s gonna be fine. You’re gonna be fine”

Chan nodded, eyes closed, “I’m just…fucking anxious. What if she asks me to leave?”

“Channie” Hyunjin repeated, in a low voice, hand landing on his shoulder, “I’m right here if you need me, okay?”

He took a deep breath, and Hyunjin pulled him into a half-hug. You stood by, unsure what to do, staring at them. You were still trying to wrap your head around whatever the fuck was happening right now. In seconds, Chan took off towards the dock, where you’d told him Kairi was. You watched his retreating figure, hoping you made the right choice. He seemed genuinely apologetic, for whatever had went down between him and her.

His departure… left you and Hyunjin by the bonfire. Just by yourselves. So, you finally looked at him.

He was staring at you.

In the glow of the embers, Hyunjin looked almost sinister, he looked dangerous in the way that you wanted him, even now. Dark shadows cutting across his face, he’d only grown more into the version of him you’d ran into the storage closet. Taller stature, stronger arms, piercing gaze.

You suddenly felt conscious…being in this tiny swimsuit, and your arms came up around yourself to cover up somehow. It hurt too much to see him this close, after everything that had happened. You’d been giving up your soul to forget him, and he’d just decided to show up, now? It was unfair. You had to be the bigger person here, and you were going to leave. You didn’t owe him a conversation, not after he’d shown you how easy it was for him to forget all about existence.

So, you turned to walk away, but then Hyunjin spoke, “I didn’t know you were going to be here”

At first, you almost didn’t hear him, over the music, over the laughter, over the river. You stopped in your tracks, squeezing your eyes shut, wishing he’d never spoken.

You didn’t look at him as you mumbled, “Yeah…you wouldn’t be here if you knew”

It came out more venomous than you wanted, and you didn’t wait to see his reaction. But he asked you, “What are you doing here then?”

You turned to look at him, and fuck it hurt every bit of you. You hope you had a stable tone, arms crossed across your chest, because how the hell could he ask you that? “I’m… kind of the host”

His eyes widened, genuine surprise in it, “You are…?”

Well, he would’ve known that if he’d let you be in his life. Why had he pushed you away? Why had he not even tried to keep in touch with you? Was cutting off all contact the only way he knew how?

“I have to go” You mumbled, feeling hurt all over again, “There’s drinks in the corner if you want”

Hyunjin began to say something, but he was stopped because somebody yelled your name, interrupting whatever he could have said. What was Hyunjin going to say?

Jeonghan ran over to you, laughing, oblivious to everything around him, “You know Sohee’s going around saying you abandoned her during the game?"

You blinked, looking up at him, “She knew we weren’t going to win anyway”

He laughed loudly, and he was clearly tipsy by the way he talked, “What can I say? You’re a very wanted woman tonight, like five people stopped to ask me where you were. Also, you do remember that you’re the only person I know at this party? You can’t just leave me alone. I might actually end up missing you”

“Right, I forgot” You stifled a smile, “I was doing something for Kairi. Speaking of which…you left her alone?”

“I’m sorry…” He sighed, “There was this dude that wanted to talk to her…she asked me to leave them. And, I did not come tonight to babysit her. I’ve only met her like one time!”

You laughed, “Really? It is her birthday, Nate. What did you come here for then? ”

He shook his head, smiling, “Oh, being coy suits you, Y/N. It’s sexy”

“What?” You laughed. Before you could even register it, he wrapped his arms around you, picking you up in a little spin and twirl. A surprised noise escaped you, and your hands came to brace yourself against his bare chest. He was grinning at you, completely oblivious to the fact that someone was watching you. You almost forgot where you were, and who was watching, a giggle escaping you. “Nate—” You mumbled, pulling away, hands on his chest.

“What?” He frowned, and only then he saw Hyunjin standing there, watching all of this take place. “Oh…hey, man” Jeonghan smiled at him, “Wow…you are way too overdressed for this party. Take your shirt off or something”

Hyunjin’s gaze was on the arm around your waist. There was an unrecognisable emotion in his eyes. You’d seen jealousy on him before and this wasn’t it. This… was something else entirely. An emotion so intense that you felt scared of what he was holding inside.

He was frowning, furrow in his forehead, and then he glanced at you, a sudden indifference in his voice, “Where did you say the drinks were again?”

You swallowed, “By the cabins…”

“Oh, I can show you” Jeonghan offered, and you wish he wasn’t so nice to everybody.

Hyunjin’s brows shot up at the suggestion, and you were afraid he’d say something mean, but of course Hyunjin wasn’t mean, so he forced a smile, “Cool. Sure”

Jeonghan began walking away with him, and your grip on his hand was tight, you yanked him back, whispering, “What do you think you’re doing?”

He smiled, whispering back, “Relax. Just showing some hospitality. Also I think that guy’s famous”

You sighed, closing your eyes, because he was impossible to argue with, “Fine, but…get me a drink too”

“Will do” He grinned, leaning in to kiss your cheek. You watched them walk away, and you could hear Jeonghan say, “I’m Nate by the way, only she’s allowed to call me Jeonghan. Don’t ask me why though”

You couldn’t pick up on what Hyunjin said in response and you itched to know, but…you had to hold back. You stood still, feet rooted to the sand as Jeonghan led Hyunjin to the cabins, and the coolers that lay there, filled with beers. You couldn’t watch for long, because somebody grabbed your arm, turning you around, “Why are you by yourself?” Sohee, from the volleyball game asked, “Come on, you can dance with us!”

“I’m not in the mood, sorry” You apologised, walking away from the fire. What would they talk about? You hope Jeonghan didn’t bring up how miserable and depressed you’d been this whole time. Would Hyunjin talk about youto him? Would he ask him what you and Jeonghan were? Did he…even care?

Sohee laughed, “What? Shut up. You’re dancing with us. You already ditched us in the game”

“I think I’m just gonna go get a drink” You tried to decline, as politely as you could, without being a spoilsport or a downer. She stopped you, hand on your wrist, “What’s wrong?”

“I just…don’t wanna dance. I’m sorry” You gently pulled your arm out of her grip, walking nearer to the river. You could already feel it. All of the progress you’d made all these months was reversing. You were going back in time against your will. What had all this happiness been for, if it was just going to be ripped from you in an instant? How could you ever fucking say you moved on when seeing him for a second changed your mind?

You thought you were stronger than this, but you were so fucking weak, falling back into an emotion you didn’t need. Self-loathing and sadness and wishing you were enough for him was staring you in the eyes, and you thought you’d left it all behind. This wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go. You…had plans, to feel better, to move the fuck on. Kairi and Chan were nowhere to be seen, and it was past midnight already. She hadn’t even cut the birthday cake yet. You’d made Jeonghan drive you all the way to that special bakery for nothing. Why would Chan show up uninvited on such a special night? Why the fuck would he bring Hyunjin with him?

You ran your hands over your face. Every breath was harder to catch, and you felt like you’d pass out if you stayed standing. A tear slipped into your mouth, and you tasted the glitter mascara that Kairi had put on you. Kairi. You were going to find her…and you’d make sure she still had a good night, regardless of her ex gatecrashing the fucking party. Chan was a lovely person, you’re sure he was, but this was not the time. If he wanted to come so bad, he should’ve just come alone and not brought Hyunjin.

You looked back towards the fire, where Sohee was twirling around with the others, laughing loudly, so drunk and so happy. Jeonghan was back there too, he stood watching the girls dance, but Hyunjin wasn’t with him.

Did he leave? Where was he?

Your eyes scanned the crowd so fast, trying to place him amongst the crowd.

“I thought you hate beer”

You jumped, startled by the sound.

Hyunjin stood behind you, holding a beer bottle in his hand, extended out to you. How had you missed him walking over to you?

“What?”

He seemed confused, hand outstretched, “You…hated beer, right?”

“What are you doing?”

He shrugged, nonchalant, “You asked Nate to bring you a drink. He…wanted to dance instead, he asked me to bring it to you”

You laughed, bitterly, “And what, you work for him now?”

Why the fuck would he willingly approach you? After forcing you to get out of his life? Pretending like everything was normal? Acting like he hadn’t devastated you entirely, and broken you down. He didn’t even apologise for the way he’d kissed you and pushed you away. He still didn’t fucking realise what he meant to you, and he never would.

Hyunjin’s tongue poked his cheek, and he said, “No. I was trying to be away from the crowd”

You released a breath, “Well, congratulations, now you are. I’m gonna go”

“Wait—” He called out.

You stopped, “What, Hyunjin?”

He swallowed, “Aren’t you gonna take your drink?”

You should walk away from this conversation right fucking now, but you felt angry. Did he know you’d been suffering so much because of him? Did he know you’d given up on love and resigned yourself to a miserable fucking existence, because of him? How could he act so normal?

“You know what?” You forced a smile, “You can have it. You’ve already ruined tonight for Kairi. You might as well for me too”

“Excuse me?” His features contorted into a frown, as if he couldn’t believe you were bringing it up, “It wasn’t my idea to show up here”

“So what…you came as moral support or something?”

“Chan needed me” He stated, with finality.

“Well” You laughed, “You’re a great friend then. Are you even allowed to be at this party? Isn’t that gonna be a problem for you?”

His lips were in a thin line, “You’re angry”

“No” You laughed, so bitter, so petty, “Just concerned. Actually I am gonna take that drink” You grabbed it out of his hands, pulling with more force than needed, making sure none of your fingers touched any of his. Hyunjin’s eyes narrowed, and he would hate you now if he didn’t already, but that was fine. He didn’t want you anyway.

Jeonghan’s yell interrupted you two, “Y/N! Come on. It’s your favourite song!”

You turned back to them, realising that indeed a song you’d liked in a club once was playing. It wasn’t your favourite song, far from it, but you wanted to be away from Hyunjin. You were losing yourself so near him.

So you glanced at Hyunjin, lifted the beer bottle to your lips, and drops of alcohol dripped down your neck and chest, into your bikini top, messily, “Thanks for the drink”

Jeonghan basically pulled you into the circle, as the chorus came on. You let him. You chugged the rest of the beer, because there was no way you were doing this sober anymore. Jeonghan was fucking tipsy, so he spun you around, and if it wasn’t for his arm around you, you’d fall over into the sand. Somebody handed you a shot of tequila, and you drank that too. The music was loud enough so you couldn’t think, EDM beats playing over and over, making your heart vibrate against your ribs. You wanted to laugh, because everything was so horrible. Sohee was a good hype girl, cheering on for you, grinding her hips against a taller boy, and everyone was lost in the music.

As the song picked up tempo, your hands met Jeonghan’s and he helped you move with an exhilarating speed and you couldn’t even breathe, head spinning. He wasn’t a great dancer, but he was holding you tight, moving your body against his, and it was good to feel desired, “You look so fucking sexy” Jeonghan mumbled into your ear, “You should wear pink more often”

You rolled your eyes, “It’s red…Nate”

“Huh. Maybe I should get a closer look at it then”

“What?” You laughed as he suddenly leaned in, kissing your neck, and collarbones. His other hand dropped to your ass, squeezing it tightly. You couldn’t find it in you to feel shy because nobody was looking at you anyway. Everybody was too busy dancing, or too drunk. Hyunjin had probably realised his mistake and long left. You hope he’d fucking left. You didn’t want to see him again tonight. In the centre of the circle, Jeonghan was bent over you, pressing kisses to your body. Your arms rest on his biceps, as he kissed your neck, “You’re so beautiful when you laugh. I wish you were happier like this more often”

Oh, the irony. If only he knew you’d never been this sad in your life before. Knowing Hyunjin was here, so close yet so far. He was here, but he wasn’t here with you. What was the point…of anything? Weeks and months of moving on. Everything was useless. Hyunjin had to be there, everytime, haunting you like a demon, following in your shadows for the rest of your life.

“Y/N…” Jeonghan asked, head buried in your neck, realising you were standing still, deadweight, “What’s wrong?”

You’d gone on a date, you had a friend you casually made out with, you were in the best art studio in your country. You were so unhappy. What was the point?

It was like there a string on his chest, tying him to you, bringing you together even when you couldn’t be. Even when he didn’t want to be.

“Nothing” You swallowed, tears shooting up to your eyes, “Can you just kiss me and not ask me anything?”

He frowned, and it was hard to hear him over the loud music, “No…Y/N. Tell me if you’re okay. Do you want some air? Water?”

“I just want you to kiss me and not ask why”

So, almost reluctantly, he did. He leaned in, pressing his mouth to yours and you hoped it’d distract you. You wanted to get lost in it, and you brought your palms up to his face, to his hair, running through it. You’d never kissed him for so long, or with so much emotion. It had always been so casual, for fun, no strings, nothing.

For just a second, you opened your eyes. You wish you hadn’t.

Over Jeonghan’s shoulder, there was a direct line of sight to Hyunjin.

He was still standing by the river, staring out into the darkness, one hand shoved in his pocket, the other lifting a beer bottle to his lips. He was still here. Right where you’d left him.

Why wouldn’t he leave? There was a path straight to him, people parted like the red sea, the taut string of fate between you working harder than ever.

You squeezed your eyes shut, focusing on kissing the boy who actually cared for you, but when your eyes flickered open again, Hyunjin was watching you.

It should have been obvious, but you were still surprised…to see him stare. Your heart hurt so much you thought you’d collapse. He didn’t want you in his life anymore. He’d made it plenty clear.

Then why did he look so fucking sad watching you kiss another man?

The party was raging, you were dying. Each press to Jeonghan’s lips made you sick. He kept spinning you around, and you were getting dizzy. Every few seconds, your eyes would fall on Hyunjin. Everything but him was blurred. Your insides hurt, and he was looking at you and you were looking at him but you were dancing with another man. Was this how it felt like to be dying? Jeonghan was giggling about something, and he leaned in to whisper something in your ear. You didn’t hear it, because Hyunjin had turned away from you now, like all of this was beneath him. As if being here was the greatest inconvenience of his life.

He was walking away. He’d probably had enough of your dancing.

He’d had enough of you.

“Y/N…hello?” Jeonghan snapped a finger in front of your face.

“I’m going to be sick” You mumbled.

His eyes widened, “What? Did you drink too much?”

“No. I just…I need some air” You stepped back from him.

“Should I come with you?”

“I’m fine” You shook your head, looking around, “You should dance with Sohee…till I’m back. ”

Before he could protest or respond, you walked away, towards the river. Kairi was nowhere to be found, at her own birthday party. It was all his fault. You had to go find her. What if she had a fight with Chan and needed you?

The alcohol had gotten to your head. You shouldn’t have chugged that beer, and that tequila and that last shot of vodka. Slowly, but steadily you made your way towards the dock. Her birthday cake was rotting in the car. Was it so hard to ask for just one good night?

He had to ruin that too, just like he’d ruined the idea of love for you. You could never love anybody, ever again, not in this same way.

You walked until you caught up to him. Thankfully, there was nobody else here. Everybody was either in the cabins, or dancing. Hyunjin was pacing back and forth, on his fucking phone as if he was too good for this place. The question left your mouth before you could rethink it, “What does Chan want?”

He looked up at you, eyes drifting over your figure briefly, voice small, “What?”

“It’s been an hour. She’s not back yet” You stated, as if it was obvious, “In case you didn’t know, she turned twenty-four today, and this entire party is for her. So why is he here, Hyunjin?” You stepped closer to him.

He clicked his phone off, the number he never shared with you, and put it in his pocket, “Um… I don’t know if it’s my discretion to tell you”

You stared at him. You were so past begging to be included in his life. You nodded, a scoff escaping, “Yeah, sorry I asked. I don’t know what I was thinking”

Turning towards the dock, you only made it about five steps away from Hyunjin when he called out, “Wait—I didn’t mean it like that”

You turned to face him, and there was fire in your eyes, there was fire in your veins, “Then what did you mean, Hyunjin?”

Something flashed through his eyes when you said his name, like he also couldn’t believe he was talking to you. “Um. Do you… remember what I told you at the Château?” He asked. The familiarity of those memories flooded through you, like a tsunami. You remembered every single word, you remember each breath he took, each touch. You remember every ridge and curve in his hand, as he held yours. You remembered how many times he pressed his lips to yours, and how loud he’d moaned when you touched him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

Hyunjin tilt his head, “About… how they’ve been together for two years now? About how Chan had planned to ask Kairi to marry him…on her birthday?”

Your eyes narrowed as the realisation sank into you, “You’re kidding me. Is that what he’s doing right now? He’s literally going to ruin her—”

Hyunjin stepped forward, “No, he’s not doing that! But he just needed to talk to her about it. He’s just here to make things right with her” He explained, emphasising each word.

“Why?”

Hyunjin seemed confused, “Why, what?”

“Why now? He couldn’t have picked another day?” You sounded so harsh, but you didn’t care. Yeah, maybe you were pissed that Chan was willing to go to all this fucking effort for the girl he loved. But nobody would ever make any effort for you. You were pissed that Kairi was the one good thing you had left, but now Hyunjin’s life was ripping her away from you too.

He didn’t seem fazed though, and he seemed just as confused as you, “I don’t know, Y/N! I tried to talk him out of it. That it wasn’t a good idea”

You scoffed, crossing your arms, “Well you clearly didn’t do a good job, because he’s here right now anyway”

“What do you want me to do? I tried my best!”

“Well, you should have tried harder, Hyunjin!”

He let out a deep breath, running a hand over his face, “Why are you fighting me?”

You took a step back, “Right. I forgot I’m not allowed to be near you”

His eyes narrowed, “Excuse me?”

“Never mind. I’m going to go see if she’s okay or if she needs me”

He frowned, stepping in front of you, “You can’t just interrupt them. What if they’re having a moment?”

You squeezed your eyes shut. This was a fucking disaster, “He better not be proposing”

Hyunjin’s voice dropped, “Why? Wouldn’t you be happy for them?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Hyunjin. I would be happy. Obviously I’d be fucking happy. But Kairi loves him too much. She told me everything that happened. She would just get hurt again when he chooses the company over her.”

Hyunjin was quiet, eyes flickering over yours, voice dropping, “Is… that what you think I did?”

Your voice had lost its energy too, and you stared at him, “I’m not talking about—”

“Because that’s not what I did, Y/N”

You looked up at him, but you were shaking, “This is about her, not me”

He didn’t say anything. For a few seconds, you were both just staring at each other.

He sighed and chose to speak first, “Chan would never hurt her. Their decision to break up was mutual”

Unlike how things happened with you. “Yeah. I understand”

“It’s not just you. I’m worried about Chan too” He ran a hand through his hair. This was not the time to create a scene in public, so you curbed your anger, shoving it deep inside. He cared about Chan, and you cared about Kairi. That’s the only reason you were still here, and still talking to him. It was the only fucking reason you’d talk to him tonight.

“I can’t believe it’s her birthday and she’s not even here” You mumbled, “All of this was for nothing then. I hope she’s not upset or crying somewhere in a corner”

For the first time this night, Hyunijn looked a tad guilty, brows furrowing, “Do you want to go check on them…?”

You hugged yourself tighter, the wind was picking up quickly, “I thought you just said we can’t interrupt them”

“We won’t”

Your eyebrows shot up.

“Isn’t there another place we can see the docks from…without interrupting them? To see how they’re doing…”

You ran a mental image of the campgrounds in your head, “Yeah, there is…”

And so, Hyunjin followed you.

There was a clearing in the forest, a thick cover of trees that looked right out onto the docks. You’d seen it back when you came to scope out of the place with Kairi. You were taking him there. You focused on the sound of your footsteps, and on the party you were leaving behind.

“So…what changed? Why did he pick today?” You surprised yourself by speaking first.

Hyunjin seemed surprised too, and he glanced at you, “Um…I don’t really know. We were working on a few songs last night…and it’s like Chan had some great epiphany”

“Oh”

There were people swimming in the Han river, some of them were skinny dipping too, and Hyunjin averted his eyes as you passed them. It was so strange to be here, and talk to him, like everything was okay. His tall frame so close to you again, and he took longer strides than you but right now he was slowing down to keep up. You made sure there was enough distance between the two of you so your arms wouldn’t accidently brush. It was funny. Months ago, you used to pray for this to happen, to be alone with him, to have a reason to talk to him, and to accidently touch him.

You tried to look for Chan and Kairi against the landscape, but they were too far so all you had was to settle for Hyunjin’s momentary glances on you. “You’re good at these” He suddenly said.

“Sorry?” You looked at him.

He looked around, making a noncommittal gesture, “Birthday parties. You planned everything, right?”

“I guess. It wasn’t all me”

“You…always outdo yourself”

You looked up at him, from the corner of your eye, “I had help. I didn’t organise it on my own”

“I know…but I’ve seen how passionate you are about these things. The food…the music…it’s all very you”

You swallowed, wondering why he was deciding to be civil all of a sudden, or maybe he’d been civil all along and you were the one creating a fucking scene, “Thank you…”

“It reminds me of the beach party, for Felix’s birthday. That one…was so good too”

“Well, at least if things don’t work out with my art, maybe I can become a party planner” You mumbled.

Hyunjin laughed. He actually laughed. It was between a giggle and a chuckle and you looked up at him in surprise. He covered his mouth with his hand, eyes wide, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to agree with you. Things will obviously work out. You’re a great artist”

You couldn’t handle seeing him like this. Eyes crinkled, a real smile. Was he not miserable without you? You looked back at your feet, arms crossed over your chest, “Yup”

“So…is he your boyfriend?”

You looked up, “Sorry?”

Hyunjin seemed nonchalant as he asked, “Nate. The boy you were dancing with” His eyebrows were knitted together, as if he actually even cared if that was your boyfriend or not.

“We’re here” You told him, choosing not to answer, pointing to a clearing in the trees, “You can see the dock right through there”

Hyunjin stepped ahead, forest leaves crunching under his feet as he did so. There was a pile of rocks and big boulders overlooking the river. Your view was being blocked by them, and you couldn’t see anything from here.

“I’m just gonna climb up and check if we can see anything from there” He told you, and before you could tell him it was a bad idea, Hyunjin jumped up, easily climbing onto a boulder. It looked so easy for him.

You stood at the bottom, trying to warm yourself. You should have brought a coverup because the wind here was so strong, and you were half-naked. From where Hyunjin stood, he must have a clear view of the entire campground, a good vantage point…for spying on people, like you were now. He could see over the bushes, and you couldn’t, so you asked him, “Can you see them?”

Hyunjin responded, eyes in the distant, “Yeah I can”

“And…? Does she look upset? Are they fighting?”

Hyunjin was silent. You couldn’t see anything from down here, and you were frustrated. “Hyunjin…?” You whisper-yelled.

“Come up. You can see for yourself” He suggested, very unhelpful.

“I’m not wearing shoes. I can’t climb up rocks”

“I’ll help you” He said, turning to face you.

You looked up at him, and his hand was extended out to you. Did you really want his help? But you wanted to see for yourself. You didn’t trust him in the moment. So, you gave in, “Okay”

You grabbed his hand, only for the support, but a bolt of lightning travelled through you, through your entire body. You felt on fire, hair on the back of your neck standing up. Your heart skipped beats, and all you were doing was touching Hyunjin’s hand. It was so warm. His palm was baby-soft, like he’d been taking good care of himself, of his skin.

You tried not to let the shivers affect you. He bent down and mumbled, “Keep your foot here, and I’ll help with the rest okay?”

You climbed up onto a ledge, with sharp rocks jutting out, “If you drop me…”

“I won’t”

“Here goes nothing” You mumbled, keeping your foot on the ledge for balance, hoping you didn’t fall and embarrass yourself. Hyunjin pulled you up, tugging at your arm. You stood head-on, face inches from his. On this tiny boulder, there was barely any space for the two of you. Hyunjin clearly hadn’t calculated for that when he asked you to join him. Because now, you were pressed to each other, and his hand was on your bare waist, gripping you tightly so you won’t fall. Fuck, you’d really put yourself in this situation willingly.

“Shit. I’m so sorry” He realised, leaving his hold on you once you’d found your balance.

You were breathing heavy. Your eyes searched his, and his gaze was so familiar. Half-lidded eyes, dark hair falling into his forehead, lips pink...and plush up close. He was so beautiful, and his body was warm.

His eyes fell to your body, noting the goosebumps on your chest, “You’re shivering”

“I’m fine”

“Take my sweater”

“Hyunjin…”

He didn’t let you finish and took off his dark woolen sweater. Inside, he was in a simple long-sleeved t-shirt that hugged him tightly. It was almost too small on him, and you could see the shape of his body through it. He handed you the warm sweater, and it was soft to the touch. You slipped it on over your bikini, and it smelled like him too.

He nodded, jutting his head towards the dock, “Um. There they are”

You turned, trying to balance on the little space you had to stand, peering through the trees.

“Can you see them?” Hyunjin asked, maintaining a sliver of distance between you, as he tried to look over your shoulder. You could see them. Kairi and Chan sat at the edge of the dock, legs hanging off into the water. They weren’t touching, but they were sitting close together. They were talking about something, passionately, because you could hear hints of their voices all the way here.

“What…are they doing? They’re just…talking”

“Yeah” Hyunjin said, a puff of cold air leaving his mouth, “I guess they had a lot to catch up on”

Your heart clenched. You knew how much she loved him. “She missed him a lot…” You admitted.

Hyunjin glanced at you, and then back at them, “Yeah? He did too…he’s been in a lot of talks with the company”

“About what?”

His expression changed at your curiosity, “It’s not important, Y/N”

You frowned, even more curious now, “Tell me, Hyunjin”

He sighed, “It was… just about ensuring her security, in case they got back together, and even if they didn’t. Tracking down and suing the people that sent her the threats”

A flicker of hope lit up in you, for them, “Wasn’t that the only reason they weren’t together? Because of Kairi’s safety?”

Hyunjin looked at you, empty, downcast eyes, “No, when I came back to the city, they’d been having a lot of…arguments, and fights. I would hear Chan on the phone with her till the morning hours, just…arguing, about anything and everything. They weren’t even angry at each other, they were just frustrated because…he could barely give her time. It sucked, kind of felt like I’m a kid listening to my parents fall apart, you know? Watching their relationship fail right in front of me. The nights they stayed up arguing, Chan would show up to practice the next morning unmotivated and unfocused. It was affecting his work a lot. He was barely able to be creative”

You watched the side of his face, as he told you the tale of how this line of work had pulled Chan and Kairi apart. “So…what’s going to change now? Won’t they just go back to fighting?”

Hyunjin shrugged, “I don’t know. Things will never change. But I’m not gonna be the one to take away his hope”

“You really think that…?”

He looked at you, gaze piercing yours, “What?”

“That things are always going to be bad, that they won’t get better?”

“I don’t think that. I know it”

Your heart dropped, offended at the negativity he possessed, “Would it kill you to be a little more positive?”

He swallowed, looking right at you, “Me being positive is not gonna bring them back together”

Now he’d given up on his own best friend’s relationship too, what chance did you stand? You glanced back at Kairi and Chan, breath hitching in your throat at the sight. His hand was on her face now, caressing her, and he had inched closer. They looked…ethereal against the river and the moon.

“It just might” You mumbled. Chan was whispering something to her now, nose brushing against hers. It was so intimate, you suddenly felt like a voyeur.

Hyunjin inhaled, realising it at the same time as you, “We…shouldn’t watch this”

“We… shouldn’t have watched any of it”

You turned, and Hyunjin had already jumped back onto the sandy terrain, and you wished you were as athletic as him. He made it look so easy. He was holding his hands out to you, “I got you”

You stared at him, and the way his hands were ready to catch you. He was wearing the same jewellery he always did, the same rings as the night he kissed you for the first time, and told you that you shouldn’t be worried because he wasn’t going anywhere. That all felt far too fabricated a lie now. Were any of those things he said true?

“I can get down on my own” You said, rejecting his offer to hold you, to touch you again.

“Are you sure?” He frowned, hands dropping to his side.

“Yup” You weren’t going to ask him for help again, so carefully, you stepped down, one foot on the ledge, trying to balance your weight out.

Hyunjin was watching carefully, and maybe it was good, because you fucking slipped. Bare feet and rock climbing was not a good mix. One second, the rock was firm underneath you, the other it was gone. A yelp escaped you, but in half a second Hyunjin had stepped forward, catching you in his grip. He had you pressed you to the rocks, grip strong around your body, “Fuck. Are you okay?”

You couldn’t even find it in you to be embarrassed, staring up at him. There was no space between your bodies, and the moonlight fell right on him and his stupidly perfect face. You tried to catch your breath, but he was crushing you to the rocks. You couldn’t even breathe. Your hair fell in front of your face, and Hyunjin’s gaze flickered over it, as if he was itching to fix it. His hands dug into the fabric of the knit sweater, fingers poking in the holes, and his other hand…lay dangerously close to your ass, resting just at the end of your bikini.

So you still could feel like this again, like you would explode from human touch. You hadn’t felt this alive in the longest time, each nerve ending firing at full capacity. This is what attraction felt like, not what you had with your date in the bar, not what you felt when you kissed your friend. Your eyes searched his, for any remorse or guilt for what he’d done to you. You found none.

"Please let go of me”

“What?”

“Let go of me, Hyunjin”

He dropped his hands from you immediately, hurt flashing through his eyes, and a part of you was happy he could still display that emotion. He’d been fauxing his emotions the entire night so well, he’d pushed them all aside, and you hated that. Why couldn’t he admit he missed you? He stepped back, apologetic, “I’m sorry. I just…wanted to make sure you were okay”

“I’m fine” You side-stepped him, walking back to the campgrounds through the trees. Hyunjin was quiet, and he followed you, a few steps behind. You knew because you could hear his breaths, and his footsteps against the crunching leaves.

After some minutes, he spoke, “Y/N…”

“I don’t want to talk to you” You were walking away from him, as fast as you could, hoping to put some distance between you.

“Y/N…you’re bleeding”

You stopped, “What?”

He stood a few steps behind, watching you, “Your leg. I think you…you cut yourself on the rock. The…branches”

You had far too much pride in the moment to even check if he was right. “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t hurt” You mumbled, and began walking back towards the party again.

“It could get infected”

“Can you just stop talking, please? I can take care of myself”

“I’m sure you can. I’m just worried about you”

“Why are you even here?” You turned, walking back to him so you could be closer. Each step against the grass did hurt now. You must have cut yourself really bad, because the dirt was burning your wound, but you weren’t going to show your weakness, not right now. You were so far from the rest of the party, otherwise anybody would have been able to hear you arguing. You were thankful everybody else was distracted and having an actual good time, unlike you.

He frowned, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, why the fuck are you here? I didn’t invite you to this party. I want you to leave”

His eyes narrowed, “I’m not leaving Chan alone”

You let out a frustrated sigh, “He’s with Kairi, and they seem to be doing great without you!”

“You’re hurt…” He spoke, calm as fucking ever. Why couldn’t he just express himself, like he used to? Why was he wearing a shield?

“As if that matters to you. The damage is done. I knew it wasn’t a good idea” You were talking about the cut on your leg, but of course you fucking weren’t.

He squeezed his eyes shut, “Just please let me take a look at it. I don’t want you to get hurt”

“It’s too late for that, Hyunjin”

He reached out, grabbing your arm with more force than you expected, to pull you closer, “Y/N. Stop fighting me. I’m not letting you go without making sure you’re all right”

The authority in his voice shocked you. You’d never heard Hyunjin so determined before, so aggressive. His eyes were narrowed, and his grip on your arm was strong but not tight enough to hurt you. You swallowed, wanting to suddenly cry because you were in so much pain and he was the reason for it all, “Fine”

His grip relaxed on you, and he let out a breath as if it was hurting him too. He looked around, eyes landing on the glass house hidden between the trees, “Can you walk till there?”

“Yeah”

You only felt a little shameful, walking over to the cabin, and you hope nobody was fucking in there or anything. Hyunjin pushed open the door, stepping inside, rummaging through the drawers and cabinets.

“Everything’s empty” He mumbled, a frustrated look in his eyes.

You leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, “Yeah. It’s a vacation rental, so there’s not gonna be any personal belongings. Maybe you could check in the bedroom”

He sighed, walking through the open doorway into the bedroom. The house was so…modern, and fancy, with large glass windows that faced the river. You could imagine how nice it’d be to spend the night here. There was an open four-claw white bathtub, and clearly this room was designed for sex. Why else would there be a tub in here? Hyunjin seemed impatient as he opened every cupboard, pulling open the drawers with gold knobs.

“Found anything?”

He shook his head, “No…just condoms”

“Oh…”

“And a bottle of…lube” He chuckled, turning to look at you, arms crossed as he leaned against the dresser, “Yeah. nice planning. There’s no first aid kits, anywhere?”

“I don’t know” You sighed, “I wasn’t exactly planning on climbing up rocks”

Hyunjin ran a hand through his hair, “Right. Can you sit down?”

The bedsheets were nicely made, you didn’t want to ruin it but you were in pain now. You sat at the edge of it, hands in your lap. You had on Hyunjin’s sweater on top, but under that…you were still just in your bikini, legs bare. He knelt down on the floor, lifting your leg up in his hands. A wave of deja vu overwhelmed you. This position… reminded you of Felix’s birthday party. Almost the exact same thing had happened, when San had broken a beer bottle and Hyunjin had been worried about you. You stayed quiet, letting him probe around. The cut was near your Achilles heel, which explained why it hurt so much. Tenderly, he touched the skin around it, “Does this hurt?”

You nodded, biting your lip, “Yeah. It hurts.”

He sighed, looking up at you, intense gaze, “It’s…not that deep a cut, but…you shouldn’t go in the river or anything. It could get infected”

“So I’ll be fine? We’re done here?”

He let go of your leg so you could put it down, “Yeah”

Clearing his throat, he got up to walk to the door.

You stared after him, “You’re leaving?”

“There’s a store a few miles from here. I’ll get you a bandaid”

“What? You’re gonna drive all the way for that. That’s stupid. It’s…an hour away”

“Then it’s a good thing I’m not asking for your permission, is it?” He mumbled, pushing the door to walk back outside the house.

“Hyunjin” You groaned, getting up to follow him, “Wait! What are you doing?”

He threw his hands up, voice high, “I don’t know. What the hell do you want me to do?”

As if this was your fault, “Well, maybe don’t come to a party you’re not invited to. That would be a great start”

His voice shot up higher, “I’m sorry I fucked up, okay? I came here for Chan. I had no fucking idea you’d be here! I didn’t even know you knew Kairi, so how could I have guessed you’d be at her birthday party, Y/N?”

You swallowed, knowing he was right, frustrated tears rising up, “So you wouldn’t have come…if you knew I was here? I was right?”

He sighed, each word said so powerfully it cut through you, “Yes. It would have changed everything! I obviously would have preferred to stay home rather than watch you make out with your new boyfriend right in front of me!”

Your eyes widened, and it seemed like he instantly regret what he said.

He squeezed his eyes shut, “I’m sorry. I didn’t…mean to yell”

Hurried footsteps distracted you, and you turned to see Kairi walking up to you, confused gaze, “Hey. Why are you all the way here?”

“Kairi. Are you okay?” You asked, immediately embracing her, “I was looking for you earlier”

She nodded, “I am. I am. I just I got to talking with Chan, and we didn’t realise how much time had passed. I’m so sorry, oh my god. Does everybody hate me for abandoning my own party?”

You shook your head, pulling back to look at her, and you were happy to see that there were no tears, “No, no, they’re all having a good time. That doesn’t matter anyway, are you okay right now? Do you feel…okay?”

She nodded, “I am. Chan and me…we talked about a lot of shit. I’ll tell you everything”

“Where is he?” Hyunjin asked.

Kairi’s eyes widened at him, “Hwang fucking Hyunjin! What did I do to deserve the honor of you showing up to my party?”

He smiled at her, and it’s like his mood had changed instantly around her, “Happy birthday, Kairi”

She jumped into his arms, tackling him in a hug, “I missed you dumbass” He hugged her back, warmly, burying his head in her shoulder, “I missed you too, Kairi”

She pushed his hair out of his face, hands resting on his cheekbones, “You look fucking hot, Jinnie. It’s been a while”

His eyes sparkled at her, cheeks flushing, “I hope you’ve been taking care of yourself too”

Why couldn’t you be the one to get a reunion so warm? It was your fault for being bitter anyway, and for trying to start a fight with Hyunjin. You don’t even know what you were trying to do.

“I see you two have been reunited” Chan laughed, walking over to you. He glanced at you, a sheepish smile on his face, “I’m sorry about earlier, Y/N…”

“It’s okay…” You told him, “I get it. You really needed to see her”

He nodded, looking around the grounds, “So did I completely ruin the party?”

“No” Kairi shook her head, “I think most of them are too drunk to even notice I’m gone. Although…Y/N might be a little sad” She pouted at you, “You planned everything. I’m sorry it didn’t go accordingly”

You felt conscious, feeling all their eyes on you, “No, I only did it for you. If you’re happy…that’s enough for me”

Chan nodded, glancing at his wristwatch, “Fuck. It’s getting really late. We have a flight in the morning. Should we drop you guys home?”

They had a flight? To where? You shook your head to answer him, “No, that’s okay. I’m…going with Jeonghan”

Kairi giggled at his mention, “Your boy was passed the fuck out a few minutes ago. I think he drank too much. Eric said they’re gonna drive back in the morning, when they’re all sobered up. Do you wanna wait till then?”

It was almost three am, and you don’t think you could wait till dawn, “Oh…no I’ll just take a taxi home. I have class at eleven”

“A taxi from here to the city? Of course not. That’s not safe” She frowned. You forced a smile at Kairi, “Um. I’ll just take it in the morning then”

“That’s a terrible idea” Hyunjin mumbled.

“Just come with us?” Chan offered, and his voice was so sweet it was hard to say no, but they’d all known each other for years, and you’d feel too awkward riding with them, “I’m just…gonna go check with Nate, if that’s cool”

Chan nodded, casually, “Ah. We’ll be in the parking lot. Look for the black car”

You nodded, “Got it. Thanks Chan”

You glanced at Hyunjin, and he was already looking at you, arms crossed in front of his chest. He averted his gaze as soon as you caught him.

Back at the bonfire, Jeonghan was sitting in a beach chair, talking to a group of strangers. They must be locals who had rented some cabins. His face lit up when he saw you walk to him, “Where’d you get that sweater? Is there a mall here I don’t know about?”

“It’s just my friends” You told him, not in the mood to joke, bending down to be level at him, “Kairi said you passed out. Are you okay?”

He nodded, smiling, “I’m fine, Y/N. I just found out that these people went to the same high school as me, in LA. Isn’t that crazy?”

You glanced over, at some locals who were sat in a circle. The set-up seemed cozy, there was cider and hotdogs that lay between them, “Oh wow. It’s a small world” You told him, “Um, I came here to ask…Kairi was headed home, and she asked if I wanna come with. But I said I’ll stay with you, make sure you’re okay and everything”

Jeonghan’s lips tugged up into a smile, “Y/N. I’m more than okay. You seem tired, on the other hand. Maybe you should let Kairi take you home? I think I’ll chat here with them for an hour or so”

You nodded, biting your lip, “Are you sure? I don’t want to leave you here alone”

He rolled his eyes, “Are you trying to make me fall in love with you?”

You swallowed, “I’m just being a good friend, Nate”

He leaned ahead, pinching your cheek, “I know and so am I. Please, just get some sleep. You seem exhausted”

You sighed, dread filling you. This meant you’d have to ride with Hyunjin. “All right. I’ll…see you in class on Monday then?”

You got up, to leave but he tugged at your arm, voice dropping, “The boy from earlier. Was that…the guy we saw in the elevator…at Pegasus?”

You looked around, but nobody was listening, so you nodded, “Yeah. That was him”

Understanding settled in his features, “He was…looking at you the entire time he was here. When we were dancing…drinking. He...didn’t look away from you for a second”

“You saw that?”

“Mmh. Is that…the same guy you wanted to…Eternal Sunshine out of your mind?”

You smiled, the movie reference catching you off guard, “Yeah, but um, don’t tell anyone, please”

He grinned, imitating a zip over his mouth, “My lips are sealed”

»»————-

There was a black car in the parking lot. You found your shoes, and your jeans, abandoned by the check-in area at the campground, slipped them on and walked over to the car. The three of them stood there, and the trunk was open. Chan sat in the back, leg pulled up, sipping beer and Kairi was snuggled up to him. It was chilly out here. Hyunjin…stood across them, hands on his waist and they were laughing about something. He seemed so carefree when you weren’t there. His eyes were crinkled, and his laughter echoed in the open night.

His sweater on you was warm, and you felt shy and awkward as you made your way to them, “Hey”

Kairi’s eyes lit up, “Y/N! Nate isn’t coming?”

“He…said he wanted to stay a bit”

“Perfect. We were waiting for you, so we could cut the cake” Chan smiled.

“What?” You laughed, noticing the little bento cake sat neatly in the back of the trunk, “Here? Just...the four of us?”

“Mmh” Kairi nodded, “My favorite people ever. It’s perfect”

Your heart warmed, and nothing had gone to plan, but it wasn’t up to you, “Sure... Why not?”

She jumped up, standing next to you on the concrete as Chan opened the box carefully. He dug into his pockets for a lighter, and lit the candles. It was…definitely not the way you’d envisioned tonight, but this was about Kairi, and in a way…this was perfect.

Under the moonlight, in the empty parking lot, the glow of the candles was bright. Kairi leaned in, closing her eyes to make a wish, and then blew hard on the candles. Chan laughed loudly, singing a bad rendition of Happy Birthday, and you smiled at the sight.

It was strange how they found solace in each other, in an abandoned lot miles away from the nearest city. The celebration was small, much smaller than you’d planned…but it still felt complete. You hugged Kairi, arms tight around her, and she hugged Hyunjin after you. You wonder if your scent lingered on him, through her. He said something to make her laugh, and she teased him by smearing frosting on his cheek. Hyunjin gasped, dramatically, dipping his finger right into the cake.

“No, no, no!” Kairi laughed, hiding behind Chan. Chan rolled his eyes, “Jinnie. You’re not putting cake on her”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, laughing, “Relax…” Although clearly he’d been planning to do just that. Instead of putting it on her face, he licked his finger, tongue swirling around it.

Kairi got on her toes, pulling Chan in for a hug. You still don’t know what they talked about that made them so happy again, but you would have to be patient and she would tell you everything. For a few seconds, they just held each other, indulging in and enjoying each other’s embrace Your gaze drifted to Hyunjin. There was a small smile on his face, and shamelessly he watched them. You remember how much he loved Chan and Kairi. They were…the world to him. So… he must be the happiest right now.

Your own smile fell though, the longer you looked at Hyunjin. He must be cold, but he’d given you his sweater…it wasn’t much but it was everything right now. He made you crave him always, even when you were supposed to be so angry at him. The adoration in his eyes, the softness in his gaze…it used to be yours. He used to look at you like that, and you still didn’t understand what changed.

What happened to make him change towards you so drastically? Why didn’t he want you anymore? After the way you’d acted tonight, showing your immature, petty and vengeful side, he probably wouldn’t want to even…associate with you anymore. A wave of sadness hit you. Had your anger ruined any chance you had with him tonight?

But…why wouldn’t you be angry at him? You had every right. Or maybe…he’d just think of you as the bitchy ex-girlfriend for the rest of his life. You were an anecdote to tell his future lovers, a girl to mention in passing, someone he had a fling with one summer. To you, he was the entire world…but he’d never reciprocate the feeling. You’d ruined everything, because of your sadness. Tears shot up to your eyes, and you looked away.

You wish you never met Hyunjin. Your own thought killed you.

“Come on. We should get going, if we hope to make it to Seoul by dawn” Chan said, pulling away, hoarse voice.

“You’re not driving are you?” Kairi asked him, “There’s a lot I wanna talk to you about”

“She means she wants to get drunk with you in the backseat” Hyunjin laughed.

“Same difference” Kairi shrugged, and then turned to you, “You don’t mind riding shotgun, right? Hyunjin’s a good driver”

How did you end up in this situation anyway? You'd already told Kairi that you had no problem with Hyunjin. You'd already caused so much trouble tonight.

“Yeah. I don’t mind” You mumbled. Chan closed the trunk, after making sure the cake was secure, and you walked to the front. You didn’t even know they had their own cars. You’d always assumed their managers drove for them, but their company probably had no idea they were even here.

Huh. Hyunjin broke the rules for Chan. Just not for you.

You settled into the passenger seat, and Hyunjin sat next to you.

“Jinnie, you’re gonna have to adjust the seat for yourself” Chan told him, as he and Kairi settled comfortably in the backseat.

“Ah. The sins of being tall” Kairi joked. In the rear view mirror, you saw them immediately snuggle together, and Chan wrapped an arm around her, like they couldn’t bear to be apart. Must be nice. You were jittery, and anxious again, having Hyunjin in such close proximity to you. You rest your hand on the console, trying to not look at his side profile, trying to not think of how you were in his sweater over your wet swimsuit.

Chan moved ahead, hand landing on the back of your seat, “So, Y/N. Tell me more. Now that you’re finally here, I’d love to hear about you”

You bit your lip, “I’m sure you already know everything there is to know about me…”

A warm sensation made you jump, and you realised Hyunjin had accidentally placed his hand on top of yours, on the console between you.

“Sorry” He apologised, pulling his hand back.

“Um. It’s fine” You put your hands in your lap. You’d forgotten how warm and comforting his hand was. You wanted to hold it again, for the rest of the ride. Glancing in the rearview, Chan was saying something to Kairi, her face held in his big hands as he looked at her with so much love in his eyes. Perhaps this is why their car had blacked out windows.

“So…how long will it take us to get home, Jinnie?” He asked.

Hyunjin glanced at the GPS, that was above the console, “Says about three hours”

“Fuck. I’m definitely gonna fall asleep” Kairi laughed, and Chan nodded, “Me too”

Hyunjin reached into the glove compartment, taking out a pair of thin silver-rimmed glasses. He put them on, and you’d never seen him wear these before so these must be anti-glare, for the drive. Regardless…he looked suddenly ten times hotter than before, and you looked away. You would blame the alcohol for how attracted you felt to him in this moment.

“What are you waiting for, Jinnie?” Kairi asked him.

“Um. Car won’t start until everyone has their seatbelts in”

He glanced at you, and before you could even think, he had leaned over to your side, pulling your belt out of the hook. Your breath stopped as his face hovered over yours but his gaze was focused on the strap as he pulled it towards him. He clicked it in place for you, crossing the strap over your chest, and waist, then he asked you, voice low and hoarse, “That comfortable?”

Just for a second, he looked up at you, eyes meeting yours. His strong scent infiltrated you. You had no words to say. He was so close, and you just nodded, hoping that would be enough.

“We’re good now” He spoke, leaning back into his own seat, and started the car. There was absolutely no fucking need for him to be doing that for you. You knew how to put a seatbelt on, but now you wished he was always there to do it for you.

Your chest was pounding embarrassingly loud. You think everybody could hear it. You glanced at him, and his hands rested on the wheel, and he looked so fucking attractive. The thin glasses rested on his nose, and he licked his lips, turning around, one hand on the wheel, other on the back of your seat so he could reverse the car out of its parking lot. God, you wish you never met him but you wanted to jump over the console into his lap, and kiss him for the rest of your life.

Hyunjin cleared his throat, and looked at you before turning to face the road again. His gaze dropped to your body for a second, to his sweater hugging you tightly. You weren’t talking to each other, but… your gaze mirrored his, you’re sure. You stared at his face illuminated in the moonlight, darkened look in his eyes. So, he couldn't love you, but you still had an effect on him, and it made you feel proud. Anybody in the world would be able to tell what you wanted to do to each other. Even right now, when you hated him more than anything. Even when he’d broken your heart and made no attempt to patch it back up.

You both said nothing, as he focused on the road, pulling out of the campgrounds to catch the highway. The silence was enough. You’d been in this car for just a few minutes, and you were already dying, air thick with tension.

There were three long hours to Seoul, on a dark highway through the woods, with only the moonlight to guide you, and Hyunjin was inches from you.

You had no idea how you’d make it there, without completely ruining each other.

»»————-

masterlist ⇒

please let me know if you liked the chapter, or any thoughts on this part! thank you :)

#hyunjin x reader #hyunjin smut #angst #Hyunjin imagines #skz x reader #skz imagines #fluff #friends to lovers #hwang hyunjin x reader

637 notes · View notes

chaotic-mystery · 5 months

Text

Pairing: dbf!Joel miller x f!reader (no outbreak)

Summary: You kissed Joel after you had that terrible fight with your dad and you have no idea what Joel’s thinking now. Did you just ruin everything or will he finally admit he likes you just as much as you do him? What about Michelle?

Content warnings: my blog is 18+ so mdni! Eventual smut, age gap (readers in her twenties and Joel is in his 40s) dads best friend, enemies to lovers, slow burn, infidelity, family issues and daddy issues, talks about emotionally absent parent and effects it has, reader not feeling good enough for someone to love them, talks of healthy father daughter relationships, as well as a brief mention of being drunk. Let me know if I’ve missed anything!

|| wc: 4.2k || notif blog @chaoticnotifs || I love u ||

Within a few short moments, Joel was pushing you off him, his breaths shallow and the look on his face was already telling you something before his words did. “Darlin’, I-” He started, and he sighs deeply, great.

“Baby, I think you’re a little drunk. We can talk about this tomorrow, okay? Cmon, let’s getcha inside and get some sleep, lord knows you need it after all that cryin’. His hand smooths down his jeans over his thigh while his other hand takes yours gently, giving it a slight shake. You were sober as one could be but there was no more fight in you to argue, especially not with him.

“Yeah, probably right. Thanks for today, Joel. I appreciate it, more than you’ll ever know.” A soft smile grew on your lips before climbing out of his truck, walking to your front door. You wanted to turn around so badly and follow him into his house to his room, climb into his bed and just be held by him. Instead, you were faced with your cold, empty bed you dreaded laying in because Joel wasn’t there. It didn’t even dawn on you about Michelle until you noticed the last clean shirt you had with the bar logo on it that was hanging in your closet. The last you knew he wasn’t really with Michelle, more so on a break after everything at White Pony.

All night you tossed and turned, constantly looking out your window to Joel’s bedroom window who had a lamp on each time you glanced over. Your dreams were flooded with him, he suddenly consumed your every thought, awake or asleep. He was haunting you, the ghost of his fingertips on your skin, the way his soft lips felt on yours before he pushed you away. To be in the truck again and do it over, to kiss him longer and touch him, feel his skin and how his strong hands felt around your waist, to sit on his lap and just have him hold you right against his chest until he was content.

–

“Sarah cmon, you’re gonna be late, girl!” Joel shouts from the porch and you're awake, eyes fluttering open slowly to look at the ceiling. Sarah climbed out of who you assumed was her mother’s car and shut the passenger side door, running up the sidewalk.

Dad, stop! I’m coming, don’t eat all the pancakes!” Her giggle echoes between your houses and up your window, causing you to smile subconsciously.

Joel went inside before she made it to the porch, and her laugh got quieter as she shut the front door behind her. Soon enough it was quiet once more and you were left alone with yourself. Before you left to come back to Texas, one of your good friends mentioned to you about journaling and how healing it can be for you. With every intention of making it work, you started to dig through your drawers to find the little dyed green leather journal you got from the book store. It’s been through a lot, the way the pages are wrinkled from when it fell in the bathtub one night, some of the corners burnt from sitting next to an open candle flame for too long. Everything on its pages are things from being a kid you’re trying to process, doodles, everything you wish you could say to your dad. Journaling was sometimes helpful but most of the time it left you feeling empty.

If you didn’t harbor the feelings inside and constantly think about it, what were you supposed to feel? Is it normal to feel this empty on a day to day basis and was that something you really looked forward to? You sighed and tugged on your hoodie and pants, walking out into the hall to go downstairs and start your day with a cup of coffee. Ever since Joel watched you make coffee once at work, he hasn’t let up since. Every time he sees you with a travel cup he asks if it's hot or iced, knowing what the answer will be and he’s disappointed every single time.

With your glass almost empty by now and four pages scribbled on, you finally felt comfortable to stop. It was almost like you blacked out writing, not really sure what exactly you wrote down but it brought you that same empty feeling once more so that must’ve meant you were done for the day. A knock on your door takes you from zoning out and you’re met with Joel’s face, a plate of pancakes, and a glass of orange juice.

“Before you start, the orange juice was Sarah’s idea. I know you hate eating breakfast when you first wake up so I figured you’d nibble on these until you’re hungry enough to eat them normally.” His small smile makes your heart skip a beat and you reach out to grab the plate from him, along with the orange juice and you take a small sip, tipping the glass to him with a nod.

“Give Sarah my thanks, yeah?” The awkward silence was killing you and you were hoping he’d bring up last night. He just shoves his hand in his pocket and clears his throat, looking around at the neighbors homes as Joel racks his brain on what to say.

“Joel I-” you start but he cuts you off.

“Darlin’ it’s fine, you were drunk. We’ve all been there before.”

You groaned in annoyance and walked to the kitchen island with the front door wide open, signaling him to follow.

You leaned your ass against the counter top and folded your arms across your chest, glancing out the window above the sink to the left of you. “I wasn’t drunk, okay? I was perfectly sober. I wanted to kiss you, I’ve thought about it a lot and it was something I wanted. I’m sorry if you didn’t feel the same way. I know you’re with Michelle and I know she doesn’t trust me around you and I just gave her all the proof she needs to keep thinking that.” You were rambling out of nervousness and he just stood there and listened, his hands were on his hips while he looked at the floor. The bundle of anxiety was growing in the pit of your stomach and you were worried you just fucked everything up even more by bringing up Michelle.

“I-I just…I needed to know what it’s like to kiss you, Joel. I’m sor-”

“Honey, jus’ stop,...’kay? First of all, Michelle not trusting you isn’t because of you, it’s because she caught me one too many times checkin’ on you at work and she didn’t like it. You are a smart, funny, sarcastic woman and you’re beautiful but baby, you’re so much younger than me, not to mention my best buddy's daughter. This would never work, you and I.” Joel barely whispers the last part of his sentence and his shoulders drop, eyes finally meeting yours. The same rejected feeling crept up and bit you in the ass once more, a common feeling for you from almost every person you’ve met in your life.

“Not to mention you slept with Tommy, couldn’t do that to him.”

You roll your eyes and scoff, shaking your head at Joel. “Oh suddenly you and Tommy care who you share and pass around between the two of you? That’s really rich, Joel, considering he dropped that little nugget about you two tag teaming a girl while his drunk ass had to come get yanked out of my bed?”

Joel’s jaw clenched together and his nostrils flared slightly, the anger in him rising the more you called him out.

“Be careful if you’re gonna run your mouth about shit you don’t know.” The look on his face gave you a slight jumpstart to your heart and excitement in your tummy. He’s sexy when he’s angry but telling him that right now would only make him even more upset.

“So are you saying if I didn’t sleep with Tommy, wasn’t my dad’s daughter, and about twelve years older, I’d have a shot with you?” You wiggle your eyebrows at him and walk over to him slowly with your arms behind your back, trying to look innocent.

Joel however, sees right through your bullshit and chuckles at your attempts to get more answers from him. “Did I say that?” He cocks his head to one side and watches you get close until you stop right in front of him.

“I might be reading between the lines, but oh well. Was I at least a good kisser?” You smirk at him and see the sparkle in his eye, Joel tries to fight back the corners of his lips from curling upwards.

“Why is it so easy for you to piss me off and then you wanna be sweet? You’re a damn sour patch kid.” The annoyance in his tone was only masking the laugh he was containing.

“That doesn’t tell me if I was a good kisser or not, Mr.Miller.” You grab the collar of his flannel and fix it so it laid flat and Joel’s breath hitched when you brushed against his skin.

Joel cracks his fingers in nervousness and hesitates before answering quietly, “I don’t remember, honestly. It was short.”

“Aw, is the age catching up to you, old man?” You tease, batting your eyelashes up at him.

Gently but firm enough to feel it, Joel’s hands meet your hips and squeeze firmly as he leans in, lips ghosting over yours. Now it’s your turn to have your breath hitch and the nervousness bubbled in your stomach.

His eyes close for just a moment before he grumbles,”Yeah I bet you wanna kiss me again. Does it get you all excited, baby? Kissin an older man like me when you’re not ‘sposed to?” He pulls back, standing up straight this time with the evilest grin on his face.

Joel could see you panicking to find an answer, an excuse, something. Without waiting for your answer, he turns on the heel of his boot and heads for the door, leaving you speechless and heart racing in the middle of your kitchen.

“What’s wrong sweet girl, cat got your tongue?” The door was shut before you could come up with a smart ass response to retort. Even worse than a cat having your tongue, Joel Miller had your tongue. If he wants to play this game with you, he’d soon be figuring out how much better at it you were than him. With the warm plate of pancakes calling your name from the marble counter behind you, you pulled back foil and watched the small amount of steam roll up into thin air.

Tearing into the fluffy pancakes, you rip a piece off and put it in your mouth, the butter soaked into the layers but still present. It was good at first and it had been a long time since you had a homemade breakfast. Before you can understand what’s happening, your fingers grip quickly and pull apart piece after piece and shove it in your cheeks as you close your eyes and feel the tears sting. To be cared for by a man who’s old enough to be your dad but isn’t your dad will always be hard for you. Why was it so easy for them to do kind things for you without a second thought but it was like pulling teeth for your own blood? For just a second you felt the jealousy of never having what Sarah and Joel have, that connection and inseparableness of father and daughter. The hot tears fall down your cheeks as your arms drop, no more soft pancake shoved in between your teeth as your brows furrowed in sorrow… anger, confusion…jealousy. It was almost as if a switch flipped and you were yanked out of your dark mindset over a kind gesture from your neighbor.

You grab a napkin from the holder in the middle of the counter and quickly spit out the mush, your vision so blurry and fuzzy from the tears. Your home was quiet with only the fridge buzzing softly and your runny nose sniffling subconsciously. Cold fingers wrap around the orange juice and you bring it to your slightly puffy post-cry lips, taking a small sip and letting the tangy liquid roll down your esophagus. You try to swallow your feelings and bury them deep inside once more to hide away the things you don’t dare talk about with anyone.

What little bit of jealousy still inside you causes you to push the plate away from the end of the counter, groaning in frustration at the meltdown you thought you had controlled.

Weeks go by and you haven’t heard much from Joel. His truck was gone when you got up early in the mornings trying to find a new job and his driveway was still empty by the time you were going to bed. Not a single phone call returned to you from him, your red landline phone he made fun of you for buying at a garage sale hardly rang unless it was someone trying to sell fake insurance. Thanksgiving came and went and it was like nothing happened between you and your dad, or at least no one brought it up when you gathered with the rest of your family at his house. They were all surprised to see you since you left years ago with your mother and never visited for the holidays but no one wanted to ruin the day of pretending you were a big happy family. The only people you called while you were away were your grandparents. They were like your best friends, always knew what was going on with you and they wanted better than what you got, they even knew their son made many mistakes when it came to the way he parented you. Even at your age now you still need them how you did as a little girl, clinging to their side when you felt overwhelmed by all the people swarming you asking millions of questions while you’re trying to get a plate of food. You sat in the corner in an uncomfortable chair while you ate your food but all you could seem to think about was Joel, where he was or who he was with, was he even celebrating today? He was probably with Michelle and her family, talking away about how great she is to her parents while the reality was that she was still upset with him over Halloween. They were just like your family, everyone pretending to be something they weren’t. Luckily it went okay without anything bad happening this time but there was still Christmas to come.

With the holiday just passing a couple days ago and still no sign of Joel, you decide to call him just to check up on him. Three rings into the call and you were praying to the universe he didn’t answer, not because you didn’t want him to be okay but you didn’t even know what to say if he did pick up. Just as the fourth ring starts, Joel’s deep voice fills your ear canals.

“H-hello?” He sounds confused at first but then it fades to irritation quickly.

“Joel..? Hey..” You stutter out as you shove the red handset into the crook of your shoulder and ear while you fiddle with the cord.

“What do ya want, kid? Somethin’ wrong?” You can hear muffled voices behind him but all you can focus on is Joel and the way his voice sounds like velvet over the phone.

“N-no, no nothing wrong I just..” your voice wavers for a moment and something inside your mind tells you to be honest with him even if it’ll blow up in your face. “...I miss you..and you left without saying a word…was it something I did-” You stop yourself from babbling on and cut the risk of looking even more dumb to him. Joel’s end was consumed by the muffled voices and laughter, a door being shut silenced the noise and it was just you and Joel.

“It’s kinda hard to talk right now, honey. I went with Michelle to her parents in Kansas for Thanksgiving. You didn’t do anything wrong. I'm just trying to get all of this sorted out, okay? You gotta remember I’ve been with her for a long time and it’s not just somethin’ I can just leave out of the blue.” Joel sighs deeply and your heart starts to get heavy inside your body, the phone cord tangled in your fingers.

“Okay, sorry for bothering you. Have fun and have a safe drive back, guess I’ll still be here waiting for you.” It wasn’t your goal to get annoyed with him but this was how you coped. You’d shut down as soon as something bad was happening and acted like it didn’t hurt. Like it didn’t make you want to curl into a ball of embarrassment when he didn’t say he missed you back. Before he could respond you hung up on him and unplugged the phone line from the handset so he couldn’t call back, not that he even would.

With the kitchen clock reading almost nine o'clock at night and your head in a mess, you figured it was more than needed for you to go to bed. Your bedroom window seemed so incomplete with the safe sight of Joel’s lamp lighting up the window it sat in. Before getting into bed you thought you’d feel better if you put on the Wizard of Oz, your favorite childhood movie. Tucking yourself right between your pile of blankets and pillows, you laid there watching the house spin and spin in the tornado but you couldn’t resist not looking over at Joel’s house every two minutes like he’d suddenly be back and throwing rocks at your window like those corny rom coms. Even imagining it seemed too crazy, you and Joel could never be like that. The ruby shoes were sparkling on your eyes as your lids got heavy and you were asleep within seconds, dreaming of Joel once again.

You wake up hours later to the DVD menu on loop and your front door being pounded on. With your heart racing you look out your window and see Joel’s truck in the driveway with the engine still running, driver's side door wide open. You wrap the throw blanket around your shoulders and practically run down the stairs to look through the peephole. A messy haired, sweaty, disheveled Joel was leaning against the door waiting on you to answer. Swinging open the front door, he yanks back the screen door that was separating you two and stepped inside, grabbing your face and walking you backwards.

“What the hell do you think you’re doin’? You unplug your phone after throwin’ a tantrum and I can’t call you back, don’t know what’s goin’ on with you?!” Joel’s voice rattled you even though it was caring, it was still coated in frustration.

“I’m sorry I went to bed, I meant to plug it back in I’m- I’m sorry..” You look at his face and it dawns on you just how freaked out he was. He drove ten hours straight just to come see if you were okay.

“What did you think I was gonna do? Hang up and just go about my time in Kansas not knowing what happened to you? Bein’ a goddamn brat making’ it hard for me to get in touch with you.” Joel’s jaw clenches as his hands tighten on your face. His eyes haven’t relaxed yet and it’s almost like he’s searching in yours to find some truth to your actions, to find some reason.

You were speechless at him. Every time he did something it surprised you even more that someone cares about you that much to go the mile for you.

“Did you really drive all night to come back and check on me?” The hint of excitement in your voice makes Joel roll his eyes and a small smirk grow on his face. His face finally softens and he pulls you against him with his hands rubbing your back.

“Of course you wanna hear me say I drove ten hours just for you, crazy brat. Don’t ever do that to me again, understood?” Joels scruff softly brushes against your ear and you finally feel safe again, even if your relationship was up in the air.

“Would you maybe wanna stay with me, just until I fall asleep?” It kind of came out of your mouth before you thought about it but there was no more hesitating.

“I can, yeah. Let me go shut off my truck and I’ll be back in a second.” He kisses your forehead softly and walks back outside to his driveway, pulling his keys out of the ignition and locking the door. His black suitcase rolls against the pavement behind him on the walk back to your house. The sun would soon be up and shining through the tree branches but you had a hard time accepting this wasn’t a dream. He leaves his suitcase by the door and sits on the couch, sighing as he gets comfortable. Joel’s eyes watch you closely as you walk back to him with a water bottle directed to him to grab.

“Just try to be quiet when you leave, okay?” You mutter as you lay your head on his lap while tugging the blanket over you as you curl into a ball like a cat. Joel chuckles and rubs his chin slightly as he adjusts and gets comfortable with the pillow behind his head. It came as no surprise to yourself that you were already preparing for the heartbreak you’d eventually have to feel when he left while you’re fast asleep no matter how much you tried to enjoy Joel being there in the moment.

“I’ll try my hardest, baby girl.” He teases, softly running his fingernails against your scalp. Joel’s breathing slows to soft snores that fill the living room, the only sound that was audible as the sun came up and soon drowned the room in warm rays.

Joel’s watch on his left hand read just a little after eleven and the house was still, your light snores getting his attention as he rubs his eyes of sleepiness. You looked so peaceful to him and he didn’t want to leave you just yet.

He grabs onto your shoulder and shakes you awake gently, brushing the hair out of your face that fell during your nap.

“I’m starving and I know you don’t have enough food here to feed the both of us. Cmon, let’s go eat…I’ll buy.” Joel was trying to bribe you and you hated that it was working. You sit up and look at him with barely opened eyes.

“Really?”

Joel stands up to stretch and his midriff is exposed by his shirt, causing your eyes to glance at the skin you hadn’t seen until now.

“My offer is good for another thirty seconds, clock is tickin’.” The playfulness in his voice makes you grin and you grab your house keys from the bowl of clutter near the front door. Your head nods towards his truck and he strolls outside, shaking his head at your outfit.

“You really gonna wear that? Don’t think the waitress would take too kindly to a shirt that says, “Cougars” with a heart…” His fingers pinch the fabric and he lets go, a small indent left on the shoulder piece.

While you both buckle in, Joel looks around for anything you could use to cover what he thought was a god awful shirt. He tosses a black hoodie at you to wear and you begrudgingly tug it on when you notice his company’s logo on the back.

“There’s nothing wrong with showing cougars love, Joel. Would you rather it say dad’s best friend?” You can see his eyebrow raise as he cocks his head slightly to glance over at you.

“Don’t push it.” He mutters and starts to head to the diner.

You both decide on a booth and look over the menu before ordering and Joel sips his coffee, taking in the strong notes of the blend to prepare clearing his throat.

“So uh- think it’s pretty obvious I can’t leave you alone no matter how hard I try. I need to get some stuff sorted out but I’m really not trying to string you along, kid.” His brown eyes flick up to meet yours and he extends out his hand to grab your arm across the worn table.

“I know I just…I hate not knowing if you’re with Michelle or not. We need to be careful around everyone, ya know- pretend that we still hate each other..” You lead on and cough slightly at the hand laying on your arm.

Joel nods understandingly, knowing exactly where you’re coming from.

“No, I’m not with-“

“Michelle, hi!” You finish his sentence as your eyes meet her piercing stare as she stands behind Joel. Her arms were crossed and nostrils flared, not understanding entirely what she walked in on.

“Michelle..”

fuck.

398 notes · View notes

waitimcomingtoo · 1 year

Text

Question…?

Pairing: Peter Parker x best friend!Reader

Synopsis: Peter accidentally sends you mixed signals when he kisses you for the first time then stands you up

Masterlist

You and Peter laid opposite ways on his bed so you could face each other while doing some chemistry homework together. Peter had stopped paying attention to his homework around ten minutes ago and was now just doodling in between looking up to sneak glances at you.

“What did you get for number 9?”

“Um, I got 13.” Peter stopped doodling and read from his page.

“What? How? I got a negative 658.”

“How did you possibly get that?” Peter laughed and stretched his neck to see your work.

“I don’t know. I hate math.” You whined and drew your knees to your forehead. Peter couldn’t help but stare at your bare legs that stemmed from the little lounge shorts you had on. Peter was usually pretty good at keeping his feelings for you to himself, but when you wore things like that, it became significantly harder to contain himself.

“Stop staring at my legs, perv.” You said without looking up from the problem you were doing. Peter blushed a deep red and quickly looked away, panicking now that you had caught what he had been doing.

“I wasn’t.” He lied and pretended he was looking at his notebook the whole time.

“Yes you were.” You smirked and looked up. “Perv.”

“You’re the perv who keeps looking at my feet in these tight little socks.” Peter joked as he rubbed his foot on your leg, making you gag.

“Ew. Get that off of me. And what are you implying, mister?” You laughed and hit his foot with your notebook.

“That you have a foot fetish and everyone knows.” Peter shrugged.

“I do not. And even if I did, you think I’d be attracted to your nasty feet? You don’t even wash your legs in the shower.”

“How do you even remember that? I told you that in like eight grade.” Peter laughed and felt secretly pleased that you remembered such a random detail.

“Ninth grade.” You corrected. “And I remember everything, bitch.”

“Oh yeah? Then do you remember when you had a crush on our drivers Ed teacher that year?” Peter smiled teasingly and put his notebook down.

“Oh yeah.” You laughed. “Mr. Whiler. That dude was double handsome. His eyes were Spotify green and he smelled like sandalwood.”

“Remember that time he wore his shirt unbuttoned and you looked over at him so many times that you rear ended a priest?” Peter asked and rested his chin on your knees.

“It wasn’t a priest. It was a Eucharistic minister. And I barely tapped his car.” You scoffed and flicked his forehead.

“Barely tapped? His whole trunk opened and those little crackers fell on the ground.” Peter reminded you as he pushed your notebook down.

“They’re not crackers. They’re the Eucharist. Finish your work.” You playfully scolded him and nodded towards his notebook.

“Remember when you got scared during your first time driving and parked at a green light?” Peter kept going and pushed your notebook again.

“Do you remember that we’re supposed to be doing homework?” You mocked his tone and lightly smacked his head with your book.

“Homework is boring. I wanna talk to you.” Peter whined and rubbed his foot on your leg again.

“Get your dogs off of me. I’m allergic.”

“Fine. I’ll just rotate then.” Peter said as he scooted next to you.

“Just like them damn rotisserie chickens.” You sighed and went back to your homework. Peter stayed quiet and watched you work for a few minutes until he got bored again.

“Do you ever wonder what Mr. Whiler is up to now?” Peter asked you.

“He’s a drivers Ed instructor. He’s probably up to absolutely nothing or whippits.”

“Probably.” Peter chuckled. “But hey, you’re over 18 now. Do you think if he asked you out, you’d say yes?”

“Ew, no. He knew me when I was 16. Anyone who knew me when I was 16 has to die.”

“I knew you when you were 16.” Peter reminded you as he took your notebook and tossed it into the bed. With your hands free, you got an idea and grabbed a pillow.

“Oh shit. You’re right.” You pretended to gasp before tackling Peter and smothering him with the pillow. He laughed and pushed the pillow out of your hands, leaving him lying on his bed with you hovering over him. You looked into each others eyes for a minute and shyly smiled at each other.

“You seriously wouldn’t date him if he came back into our lives?” Peter asked you in a soft voice.

“Gross. No he’s way too old. I don’t like him like that anymore.”

“Do you like anyone like that anymore?” He asked, making you gulp. Your eyes dropped down to Peters lips for a second before looking back into his eyes.

“I don’t know.” You lied. “Do you?”

Even though Peter should’ve seen that question coming, he didn’t. He didn’t know how to tell you that he had fallen in love with his best friend and only brought up your old crush because he had a recurring nightmare that he lost you to your old drivers Ed instructor. He felt his face turn bright red and quickly thought of a diversion. He gasped loudly, making your eyes widen.

“What?” You asked. With you being distracted, Peter seized the opportunity to flip you over so that he was the one pinning you to the bed.

“Hulkmania is running wild, brother.” He said in a deep voice.

“No.” You whined. “Don’t do your Hulk Hogan impression. You know it grosses me out.”

“I fear no man, no beast or evil, brother.” Peter continued in his deep voice.

“Get off of me.” You playfully groaned and tried to wriggle out of Peters grasp.

“No. Not until you tell me who you like.”

“I asked you first.”

“No you didn’t.” He laughed. “ I asked you first.”

“Well you weren’t supposed to fact check me.” You snapped before breaking out in a smile. Peter smiled back before getting an idea.

“Hey, can I body slam you with my entire body weight?” Peter asked in a casual tone.

“I’d prefer if you didn’t.”

“Okay. Incoming.” Peter announced before dropping himself onto you and knocking the wind out of your chest.

“Ow. Get off me, fat ass.” You laughed and tried to push him off.

“You love this fat ass.” He insisted and stayed on top of you. You laughed and looked into his eyes, unable to be mad at him.

“I do. I can’t help it but I do. It’s a sickness.” You laughed softly and pushed some hair off his forehead.

“It’s okay.” He smiled. “I love your fat ass too.”

“Peter?” You asked suddenly as your smile faded.

“Yeah?”

“Can we always be this close?” You asked him, taking him by surprise. Peter propped himself up on his elbows to look at you beneath him but found no words to say. He always wanted to be close to you, but he needed you to know that he wanted to be closer. Before Peter could overthink it, he dipped his head down and kissed you. He could feel your eyes slowly flutter shut, eyelashes tickling his face as the went down. Once you got over your initial shock, you kissed him back. The kiss was slow and soft and sweet until Peter realized what he had done. He quickly sat up and held his hands up.

“I’m sorry!” I don’t know why I just did that. I should’ve asked you first. I’m didn’t mean to-“

Peter was cut off by you grabbing his shirt and pulling him back down into a kiss. He didn’t know what was going on or what this meant for your relationship, but he went with it. He kissed you with more confidence this time as he slipped his fingers through yours to hold the hands he was pinning to his mattress. Time seemed to slip away as you kissed each other and the only thing that broke your bubble was the sound of May opening Peters door.

“Y/n, your moms-“

“AH.” You and Peter jumped away from each other and screamed at the unexpected interruption. You wiped your lips and grabbed your notebook in a failed attempt to make it look like nothing had been going on. May looked between you and Peter and held back a laugh when she realized what she walked in on.

“God, May! Don’t you knock?” Peter exclaimed and put his hand over his pounding heart.

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t realize I was interrupting something.” May said with a coy smile.

“May. Go away.” Peter whined and threw a pillow at the door. May shut the door a little so it wouldn’t hit her and laughed at Peters attempt.

“I just came to tell you Y/n’s mom is at the front door. She wants her home now.” May said. You and Peter stayed silent, refusing to look at each other or speak.

“If you can tear yourselves away from each other, that is.” May added with a cheeky smile.

“May.” Peter said through clenched teeth and chucked another pillow.

“Just teasing. Come on, Y/n. I’ll walk you out. Unless you wanted your mom to come in here?” May asked innocently.

“No!” You exclaimed and jumped off the bed. “Don’t bring my mom in. I’ll leave.”

Peter felt his disappointment sink in as he watched you gather your things and go towards the door. You looked at Peter before leaving and wished you could give him a proper goodbye but it was impossible with May standing right there. Instead, you gave him a soft smile and a wave that said you wished you could stay but had to go. Peter returned the wave and hoped it conveyed how much he wanted you to stay. You gave him one last look before disappearing out his door.

Peter could barely sleep that night in anticipation of seeing you the next day. He woke up groggy but with excitement I’m his chest as he got dressed. He put a little more effort into his appearance than usual and found himself checking himself in the mirror every few seconds. When he finally got to school, he was on high alert. He scanned the hallway in search of you but wasn’t able to spot you anywhere. He began to worry that you felt like you had made a mistake last night and were avoiding Peter because of it.

“Hey.” Your voice suddenly came from behind Peter, making him jump and scream.

“AHH.” He yelped and turned around.

“Sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t know how to approach you. Oh my God. I should go.” You tried to run away but Peter grabbed your backpack.

“No wait. Come back.” He chuckled and pulled you back towards him. Even though Peter had looked at you nearly everyday for the past 15 years, he felt like he was seeing you for the first time. Now that the line between friendship and relationship had been smudged, you looked different to Peter in a way that made his fondness for you grow.

“Hi.” You smiled sheepishly.

“Hi. Good morning. How did you sleep?” Peter asked as he moved a strand of hair off your forehead.

“Don’t do this to me.”

“Do what?”

“Act all sweet and normal after what happened last night. After what we did.” You whispered and looked around for who might be listening.

“Did we do something? I can’t remember.” Peter played dumb and made the gap between the two of you smaller.

“Peter.” You whined. “Don’t play games with me right now. I already feel awkward enough around you. Do you think we could talk?”

“Yeah. Come here.” Peter took your hand and brought you into the closest janitors closet before shutting the door.

“Why are we in a janitors closet?” You looked around and grimaced.

“For privacy.”

“We need privacy?” You looked at him with a coy smile.

“Yeah. I think so, at least.” Peter laughed shyly and suddenly felt nervous around you for the first time since the day you met.

“Oh. I think so too.” You replied with a timid smile. You looked at each other for a minute and uncomfortably swayed back and forth, neither sure what to say first.

“What did you want to talk about?” Peter asked after a beat of silence.

“I wanted to talk about last night. I just didn’t want to do it in a crowded hallway.”

“So did I. You left before we got a chance to discuss…” Peter trailed off and smiled sheepishly.

“Us?” You finished his sentence for him and took a step closer.

“Yeah. Us.” Peter grinned. “I would love to talk about us. Preferably not in this dark and smelly janitors closet.”

“The one you pulled us into.” You said out of the corner of your mouth.

“Yeah. My bad. What if we talk tonight? Maybe over some food?”

“Like a date?” You asked coyly.

“Yeah. I would like to take you on a date.” Peter said with confidence this time.

“Okay. Do you want to meet at Delmars or something?”

“Yeah. I’ll pick you up at 6 and can walk there together.”

“Okay. Perfect. But what do we do until then? I still feel a little awkward around you. I’m not really sure how I’m supposed to act.”

“I honestly don’t know either. So how about this? Until we talk everything out tonight, we’re just the same friends we’ve always been.” Peter suggested and took a step closer.

“Okay. Sure. Until tonight, just friends.” You nodded as you eyes fell to his lips. You looked back and forth between his lips and his eyes a few times before crashing your lips to his. You threw your arms around his neck to pull him closer as he wrapped his arms around your waist. You knocked things off the shelves as you made out in a flurry of teeth and kisses. Peter could barely believe his wildest dreams of being with you were coming true and in a damp and dingy janitors closet no less. He pushed that out of his mind and smiled into the kiss as he tried to memorize every groove of your lips. You could have stayed in there with him for hours but the bell ringing reminded you that you had somewhere to be.

“Okay, okay. I need to get to class.” You laughed against Peters lips. He put his hands on your face and kept kissing you.

“Shhhh. Class is for nerds. Stay in the smelly closet with your best friend.” He said between kisses.

“Peter. I have to go.” You laughed again and tried to push him off. He came right back and kept kissed you.

“You have to stay.” He whined against your lips. You caved and kissed him back for a few minutes before pushing him off again.

“We’re just friends, remember? Just friends don’t make out in closets.” You reminded him as you wiped your lipstick off his lips.

“But I’m feeling romantical. Kiss me on my hot mouth.” He said and went in for another kiss. You kissed him back for just a second before pushing him off.

“Peter.” You laughed and held him back with your hands. Peter let out a comically long sigh and stayed away from you.

“Fine. I’ll see you at 6?” He smiled and took both your hands.

“Uh huh. And a bunch of times before that because we have a majority of our classes together.”

“How lucky am I?” Peter sighed and leaned down to kiss you again. You couldn’t help but kiss him back until you heard the second bell ring.

“I’m leaving now. Try to calm down until tonight.” You teased him as you fixed your disheveled clothes.

“No promises.” He sighed happily as you left the closet. Once he was alone, he jumped into the air and pumped his fist before doing a little happy dance.

Peter did in fact see you many times throughout the day and could not focus on anything else. He rested his chin in his hand and stared at you for the third class period in a row before accepting that he was not going to be getting anything productive done today. When his last class finally ended, he rushed back to his apartment to start getting ready. He jumped in the shower and when he got out, he saw that someone had been blowing up his phone. He assumed the texts were from you and looked into the mirror before reading them.

“Okay Parker. Don’t blow this. All you have to do is tell your best friend you’re in love with her. How hard could it be?” Peter said to his reflection to hype himself up before reading the texts. Instead of the flirty messages he was expecting, he instead learned of an active crime scene that needed Spider-Man’s attention.

“Dammit. Active shooter at the bank?” Peter sighed and quickly read through the police report. He knew he had to put all other plans on pause until after the crime was dealt with.

“It’s only 3 pm. I have plenty of time to go there and make sure everyone is okay before our date.” Peter talked to himself as he swung to the crime scene.

A few hours later, Peter swung home and slipped into his apartment via an open window. He pulled his mask off with a heavy sigh and plopped down on his couch. He had managed to stop anybody from getting hurt, but doing so meant fighting off severely men much bigger than him for hours on end.

“Pete? Is that you?” May called from the kitchen. Peter rubbed his tired eyes before trudging into the kitchen to sit at the counter and watch May do the dishes.

“Yeah. It’s me.”

“How was it? I saw what happened on the news.”

“Luckily no one got hurt. Except me.” Peter winced as he rubbed one of his many injuries from the night.

“At least you can sleep tonight knowing you did the right thing. Oh, and did you talk to Y/n yet? She came by looking for you before.” May asked over her shoulder.

“She came by?” Peter perked up a little when he heard this.

“Yeah. She seemed pretty upset. Did you guys have a fight?” May asked, making all the blood drain from Peters face.

“Oh balls.” He whispered under his breath.

“Peter. Language.”

“May. May, this isn’t good.” Peter gulped and pulled out his phone. Sure enough, he had 3 missed calls and a bunch of texts asking where he was. His heart dropped to his stomach when he realized what he had unintentionally done.

“What happened? Was it a fight? Was I right?”

“It wasn’t a fight but it’s about to be.” Peters hands shook as he dialed your number but your immediately declined. He tried calling a few more time before sending you a text.

“Why? What did you do?” May stopped making dinner to focus on her nephew. Peter said his texts go from “delivered” to “read” with no response. He knew you were too angry to reply to him so he put his phone down with a sigh. He then looked at May, who was looking at him expectantly.

“We kissed yesterday.” He admitted. “And we made a plan to talk about what it meant and our relationship and-“

“And you were out on patrol?” May gasped when she realized what he was about to say.

“Yes.”

“Instead of with her?” May slammed her hand on the counter with anger.

“There was a bank robbery! I didn’t think it would take as long as it did. I didn’t mean to stand her up. I just…forgot about her.”

“Peter, believe it or not, girls don’t like being forgotten about.”

“What am I gonna do, May? I goofed. I goofed real bad.” Peter groaned and hung his head in his hands.

“No, Peter. This is much worse than a goof. You fucked up big time.”

“May! What happened to watching our language?”

“I made that rule before I realized my nephew was a fucking heartbreaker.” She said and pointed an accusatory finger at Peter.

“I didn’t mean to stand her up, May.” Peter whined. “I would never do that to her. I just got sidetracked by something more important.”

“Peter, this girl has been your best friend since pre school. She has been there for you every time you needed her. How do you think she feels after you kissed her and then stood her up?”

“Probably really bad.” Peter said quietly.

“Yeah. Really fucking bad, Peter.”

“I know. I really fucked it up this time.” Peter said as tears came to his eyes. He looked at his phone again to see if you texted him back but there was nothing.

“You need it make it up to her. Immediately.” May said with folded arms.

“How? She’s never gonna talk to me again.” Peter started to cry for what he had done. May sighed and felt guilty for making Peter feel worse than he already did. She went over to him and pulled him into a hug as he cried into her chest.

“She’s gonna talk to you again. She just needs some time. So what you’re gonna do is apologize to her and let her know that when she’s ready to speak to you, you’ll be there.”

“Okay.” Peter sniffled.

“And Peter?” May asked and cupped his chin.

“Yeah?”

“Be there.” She said sternly.

Peter nodded before going to his room to get changed. Once he was back in his regular clothes, he went across the hall to knock on your apartment door.

“Hi. Is Y/n home?” Peter asked hopefully once your mom answered.

“She went out a little while ago. She’s not with you?” Your mom asked.

“No, she’s not.” Peter sighed. “If she comes home, could you please tell her to call me? Tell her it’s important.”

“Okay. I will.”

“Thank you.” Peter smiled weakly before running off towards the elevator. He made his way out of the building as he could and ran to Delmars.

“Is Y/n here?” Peter asked as he burst through the door.

“I outta beat your ass. And you know what? I will.” Delmar said as he walked around the counter and grabbed Peter by the collar of his shirt.

“She told you?” Peter asked as he braced himself for a punch.

“Put him down, papi. Let her have her revenge on him first. Then you can beat him up.” Delmars daughter, Louisa, said without up from her magazine. Delmar looked at Peter angrily before dropping him on the ground.

“She didn’t have to tell me anything. I sent my daughter over to talk to her when I saw that she was crying.”

“She was crying?” Peter worried. “Did she say anything?”

“Yeah. She said her best friend stood her up. I’m assuming that’s you?” Delmar asked and folded his arms.

“It is me.” Peter admitted. “But it was an accident.”

“Y/n comes in here all the time. She’s a sweet girl. Always puts money in the tip jar and asks me how I am. Why would you hurt a sweet girl like that?” Delmar asked and took an angry step towards Peter.

“I didn’t mean to. I go caught up in something and missed our date. You know me, man. You know I’m not a bad guy. I just did a bad thing.” Peter said, making Delmar back off a little.

“You better make things right. She was very upset when she left here. And I don’t like seeing nice girls cry over idiot boys, okay?”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m gonna fix this. Can you just tell me what happened?”

“Like I said, I saw her crying so I sent my daughter over to check on her. She told my daughter that you stood her up so I gave her a free sandwich and let her pet my cat until she felt better.”

“Then where did she go?” Peter asked desperately.

“How should I know?” Delmar scoffed and went back behind the counter.

“Okay. Thank you anyway. I’m gonna try to find her.”

“You better. And don’t come back here unless you want an ass whooping. You little punk.” Delmar called as Peter ran out the door. Once Peter was gone, you came out from the back of the store with an empty cup of tea in your hands.

“Is he gone?” You asked in a weak voice.

“Yes, mi amor. He’s gone. Did you like the tea? My mother makes a homemade batch every day.”

“I liked the tea.” You said quietly as you stared into your empty cup.

“You can hide out here as long as you like, but we should at least call your mom. She’s probably wondering where you are.” Delmar said as he rubbed your shoulder to comfort you.

“That’s okay. My mom texted me a few mins ago and said Peter came by looking for me. I think it’s safe for me to go home now.” You said and smiled weakly in appreciation.

“Okay, mi vida. I’m sorry he let you down tonight. If you were my daughter, he’d be dead and in a shallow grave by now.” Delmar said, making you laugh a little.

“Thanks. Thank you both for cheering me up and letting me hide. I’m just not ready to talk to him.”

“I get it. I wouldn’t be ready either. Let me know how it goes. And if you need to hide out some more, you know where to find us.” Louisa said and pulled you into a tight hug. You had never spoken to her before today but felt grateful that she decided to help a stranger. You thanked them both again before leaving Delmars and walking home. Your mom told you Peter asked you to call him once you walked into your apartment but you lied and said you were too tired. It was too much to get into tonight and all you wanted to do was sleep.

The next day at school, Peter saw you by your locker and froze. You looked like you had gotten as much sleep as Peter, which was little to none. Peter took a deep breath before walking up to you.

“Hey.” Peter smiled weakly and braced himself for the worst possible reaction from you. Instead of screaming at him like he assumed, you just kept getting your stuff out of your locker.

“Okay. You’re not talking to me. I deserve that.” He nodded. You slammed your locker shut and started to walk away.

“Wait. Please just let me explain.” Peter begged as he ran in front of you. You didn’t make eye contact with him but he could see your lip beginning to tremble.

“I don’t understand.” You said in a weak voice.

“You don’t understand what?”

“You kissed me. You asked me on a date. I was perfectly fine with us being friends but you changed things. Why would you do all of that just to stand me up?”

“I didn’t stand you up. I got caught up in something really important and it took longer than I expected. That’s the only reason I didn’t show up. And I’m so, so, incredibly fucking sorry that I didn’t show up. You have no idea how much I wanted to be there and go on that date. Something just came up and I had no choice.”

“I get that. Shit comes up. But why didn’t you text or call?”

“To be perfectly honest, I completely forgot about the date until I finished with the other thing. I didn’t remember until May told me you had come by.”

“You forgot?” You asked as you finally looked at Peter. The sadness in your eyes was replaced with stone cold anger that sent a shiver down Peters spine.

“Yes.” He admitted. “But only because what I was doing was super important and needed my full attention.”

“What is this “super important” thing you had to do that made you forget about me?” You asked and folded your arms.

“I can’t tell you.” Peter grimaced as the words came out, knowing you’d never believe him.

“You can’t tell me?” You raised an eyebrow.

“No, I’m sorry. I can’t tell you.”

You stared at Peter for a long time as the anger you felt inside doubled. You balled your hands into fists and wanted to punch him right in his face but instead, you just walked away.

“Wait.” Peter called after you and ran up to you again. You didn’t look at him as you walked to your next class.

“Can we please reschedule to tonight? We still really need to talk about us.” He said as he struggled to keep up with you.

“No.”

“No? But we never got a chance-“

“Let me make this perfectly clear, Peter.” You cut him off. Any chance of “us” happening ended last night when you decided not to show up. I got no call, no text, and now some half assed excuse that doesn’t even come with an explanation as to where you were? And to top it all off, you had the nerve, the absolute fucking audacity, to tell me that you forgot about me. You forgot about me? Was that seriously supposed to make this all better?”

“No. I don’t know. I’m sorry.” Peter rubbed his eyes in frustration. “I know I fucked up. But please, I really really like you. I want to give us a chance. I screwed up last night but don’t let that ruin what we have.”

“I can’t ruin it. You already did.” Your voice cracked as you walked away again. This time, he let you go.

As much as you wanted to avoid Peter and let him suffer, you had an hour long lab period with him after your first period class. You walked in and went towards your usual lab table out of muscle memory. When you saw that Peter was already sitting there, you froze.

“Hey.” Peter smiled brightly when you made eye contact. You immediately looked away and stopped at the closest lab table.

“Can I please sit here?” You asked without even looking at who was already sitting there.

“You can sit that pretty little thang anywhere you like.” Flash smirked and patted the seat beside him.

“Thanks.” You mumbled and took a seat. Peter watched you sit beside Flash and felt a bubble of jealousy in his stomach. He wanted to listen to what you were saying but didn’t want to invade your privacy.

“I’m not sure if you noticed, but no one ever sits with me for labs. And that’s because of my horrific personality and general off putting vibe. I’m also really bad at biology-“

“This is chemistry.” You cut in.

“Really? Oh shit, I’m even worse at that.” Flash laughed. “Anyway, how would you feel about doing all the work and letting me copy?”

“Yeah. Sure. Whatever.” You mumbled and started doing the lab work. Flash noticed you weren’t dishing back with your usual insults and frowned.

“You okay?” He asked in a kinder tone. You had one of those moments where you were fine until someone asked you if you were okay, prompting you to break down.

“I’m fine.” You said in a shaky voice and quickly wiped your face. Flash noticed your tears and looked over his shoulder to see Peter staring at you with all the guilt in the world on his face.

“How come you’re not sitting with Parker?” Flash asked you. You blinked back a few tears and tried to focus on your work.

“We had a falling out.”

“Oh shit. Really?” Flash snorted and looked over his shoulder again at Peter, who was looking back this time. Peter could tell you had said something to Flash about what happened and his curiosity was killing him.

“What did he do?” Flash nudged you when you didn’t answer.

“Why do you just assume he did something?”

“Because you’re the one who changed seats.” Flash said, making you shrug in agreement.

“And because Parker’s an idiot.” He added after a beat. You couldn’t help but smile and nod your head.

“Yeah. He is.” You chuckled and looked over at Flash. Peter clenched his fist in jealousy over Flash getting you to laugh and smile but kept quiet.

“So come on. Tell me what he did.” Flash urged now that he had cheered you up a little.

“No. Here’s the answers to the first page.” You said and slid your work over to him.

“Thanks.” Flash replied and copied your work down. Peter watched this with tight eyes and felt his jealousy worsen. Lab days were usually spent giggling and flirting with each other as you shared answers and now he had to watch you do that with Flash.

“Here’s page two.” Flash handed you his work after a couple minutes of silence.

“You finished? I thought you were gonna copy me?”

“I was. But I’ll let you copy me if you tell me what Parker did.”

“I’m not gonna tell you. And these are all wrong.” You laughed and handed the page back to him.

“That’s because I just wrote down random numbers. I didn’t realize you were going to actually look at them.” Flash scoffed and snatched his page back. You threw your head back laughing at his erratic behavior, catching Peters attention in the process. Peter couldn’t imagine what Flash could’ve possibly said to make you laugh like that but it made white hot jealousy course through his body.

“He’s staring at us, you know. With those beady little rat eyes of his.” Flash leaned over to whisper in your ear.

“Flash.” You laughed in surprise and checked behind you to see if Peter had heard that. You accidentally made eye contact with Peter and quickly looked away.

“What? Haven’t you ever noticed that he kind of looks like he always has a frog in his mouth? And he’s trying to keep it from jumping out?” Flash asked you in a genuine tone.

“Shut up. You’re so mean.” You laughed and playfully shoved him away from you. Peter just about fell over when he saw this and loudly cleared his throat to get your attention. You looked over your shoulder and made eye contact for just a second before looking away.

“Can I at least know what he did?” Flash whispered again. You let out a sigh and decided that since he had made you feel better, you’d give him what he wanted.

“He said he’d take me on a date and he didn’t. I waited all night for him and he never came.” You said simply and went back to your work. Flash was quiet for a long time and when he didn’t respond, you looked at him in confusion.

“He’s a loser. You deserved better.” Flash said with a sympathetic smile.

“Oh. Thanks.” You smiled in surprise at his chivalry after expecting a crude response.

“Let me take you on a real date to make up for it.” Flash said at full volume, making Peters stomach drop. Before you could answer, the bell rang and the period ended. Peter ran out of the classroom as quickly as he could before he could hear you after to go on a date with another boy. You gave Flash your answer as you collected your things.

“Thanks for letting me sit with you.” You said to Flash as you walked out of the class together.

“Anything to mess with Parker.” Flash smiled and held his fist out. You fist bumped him and felt lighter then you had since last night.

You continued to avoid Peter for the rest of the day, not an easy task considering you had almost every class together. He knew the one place you couldn’t avoid him was your locker, which was conveniently right next to his. He got his stuff that he needed for the night and waited until you showed up. You soon showed up and saw Peter standing by his locker, making you want to walk right out of the building. You knew you couldn’t leave without getting your books so you held your chin up and went to get your books. You could feel Peter staring at you with his puppy dog eyes and couldn’t help but roll your eyes to the ceiling.

“Hey.” He said in a quiet voice. You didn’t answer and pretended to take interest in one of your textbooks.

“I miss you.” He tried again, making you pause a little to internally admit that you missed him too.

“I heard you’re going on a date with Flash.” He added, catching you off guard.

“What? Did Flash tell you that?” You frowned confusion. You hadn’t meant to respond, but that came out of nowhere and you wanted to know more.

“No. I heard you guys talking during lab today.” Peter admitted, gaining the slightest inch of hope now that you had spoken to him. You were about to tell Peter that you turned Flash down, but you decided to let him suffer a little after the way he had made you feel.

“Yeah, well, I bet you have a lot to say about that.” You said with a roll of your eyes.

“I do.” Peter replied, making you sigh and look at him.

“Go ahead. Tell me he’s an idiot and a womanizer and that I’m stupid for going out with him and-“

“I hope you have a nice time.” Peter cut you off. “I hope he picks a place you like and pulls your chair out for you and drives you home in his expensive car. And I hope you fall asleep that night with a smile on your face because you had a nice time. That’s all I was gonna say.”

“Why would you hope for that?” You asked with suspicion.

“Because you’re my best friend and that means I want you to have a great date.” Peter said sincerely. You eyed him skeptically but heard him out.

“Even if it’s not with me.” He added and held his breath in fear of your response. You looked Peter up and down and felt your heart ache in your chest. You hated being mad at him because the only person you wanted to confide in about your heartbreak was him. All you wanted was to talk to your best friend and let him make you feel better.

“I’m not going on the date with him. I said no.” You admitted and avoided eye contact with Peter.

“You did? Why?”

“I told him it wouldn’t be fair to him to go out with him because even though you’re a total butt munch who sucks major balls and I hate with all my heart, I still have feelings for you.” You confessed as you slowly looked into Peters eyes.

“You have feelings for me?” Peter asked in a soft voice and took a step closer to you.

“I have for a while. That’s what I was gonna tell you last night but you never showed up.” You felt angry again and took a step back.

“Can we please have our date tonight? I swear, I will show up this time. Nothing could keep me away.”

“I don’t know. Are you gonna tell me what super important thing kept you from showing up last time?” You asked and folded your arms.

“Yes. Tonight I’ll explain everything.” Peter promised you. You were too curious about what caused him to stand you up to stay no, so you reluctantly nodded your head.

“Fine. I’ll give you a second chance.”

“That’s my first favorite kind of chance.” Peter smiled in relief.

“But if you blow it tonight, I’m never speaking to you again. I mean it.”

“I won’t blow it. I swear.” Peter promised you. “Can you meet me on the Brooklyn bridge tonight?”

You were silent for a long time as you stared at Peter until you finally found the words.

“Why the fuck would we have this relationship changing discussion on the Brooklyn bridge?” You asked after a beat of silence. Peter paused, realizing that that was a valid question, before responding.

“Just please try to trust me. I know I’ve given you plenty of reasons not to. But everything will make sense after tonight. I promise.”

“Fine. It better.”

“I’ll see you then?” Peter asked hopefully.

That night, Peter put on his Spiderman suit and swung to the Brooklyn bridge. He felt so anxious that his hands shook as he grabbed the next web so he tried to push everything from his mind. When he landed on top of the bridge, he scanned the street below until he found you. He let out a nervous breath before jumping down and landing near you.

“Hey.” Peter said to get your attention.

“Oh my God. Hi.” You laughed in surprise when you saw who was talking to you.

“Can I show you something?” Peter asked through his mask, catching you off guard. You looked behind you to make sure Spiderman was talking to you and not someone else but found no one there.

“Sorry, Spiderman. As intriguing and random as that offer is, I’m kinda waiting for somebody. It’s really important.”

“I know. It’ll just take a sec.”

“Okay, fine.” You agreed. “As long as you bring me right back.”

“I will.” Peter promised as he slipped a secure arm around your waist. You let out a nervous breath and wrapped your arms around his neck for more support.

“I’ve always wanted to do this.” Peter grinned under his mask before shooting a web and swinging away. You let out a thrilled scream and held on tight as Peter swung you up to a building that stood opposite the Brooklyn bridge. You opened your eyes once you felt your feet on the ground and gasped when you saw what he had wanted to show you.

“I love you” had been written in webs on the bridge in giant letters. The lights of the cityscape behind it lit it up a soft yellow that made you feel a warm feeling inside.

“Aw, that’s beautiful, Spiderman. Who did you do that for?” You turned to him to ask.

“I did it for you.” Peter said and took a step closer to you. Your fondness for it turned to fear as you took a step back.

“Why me? You don’t know me.” You laughed nervously and wondered if Spiderman had been stalking you without your knowledge.

“Yes I do. You’re my best friend. I know you better than anyone.”

“Okay. I’m officially creeped out now.” You laughed nervously and stepped dither away from him. “This is on me for letting a stranger swing me up to a place I cannot escape from.”

“I’m not a stranger.” Peter tried to tell you as he walked towards you.

“You may be Spiderman but you are still a stranger and I am feeling in danger.” You said as you peered over the side of the building, only to confirm you had no escape.

“What? No, you’re not in danger. Look. It’s just me.” Peter laughed and went to take his mask off. He found himself freezing for a moment, knowing that this would be the moment before absolutely everything changed.

“You said “it’s just me” and then didn’t take your mask off.” You pointed out.

“I know. Just give me a second. I’m shy.” Peter said and went for the edge of his mask again. You looked at him expectingly and felt your heart pounding over being seconds away from finding out who Spiderman was under his mask. Peters heart was pounding for the same reason.

“Okay. No going back now.” Peter said to himself before pulling his mask off. He watched your eyebrows go up in an initial surprise before your face settled in a fond smile.

“You know, so many things just made sense.” You said with a gentle laugh.

“Right? Didn’t I tell you it would all make sense after tonight?” Peter smiled now that he had gotten an good reaction. You stepped closer to him and held his hands, just trying to feel the suit in order to convince yourself that this was really happening.

“So this is why you missed the dance last year? And the decathlon?”

“And why I didn’t show up last night. There was a robbery-“

“On 5th avenue.” You realized. “I saw that. You were there?”

“I had to be there. I have this great power and with that comes with a great responsibility.”

You were quite for a minute, then made a face and laughed.

“Peter. A catchphrase? Do you seriously have a catch phrase?” You covered your mouth as you laughed.

“No.” He whined. “That wasn’t a catchphrase. It was more like my tag line if I was a comic book.”

“You’re making it so hard to be attracted to you right now.” You continued to laugh but never let go of his hand.

“What? I just swept you off your feet -literally- after telling the entire world I loved you with my webs.” Peter said as he pointed to the bride. You looked at the bridge again with a whole new perspective now that you knew it was you best friend telling you he loved you. You then looked at Peter and couldn’t contain your smile.

“Yeah, but then you said something that gave me the ick.”

“Are you kidding me? I should be ick free after giving you the grandest of grand gestures.” Peter said and gestured to the bridge again with both arms. You laughed at how worked up he was getting before wrapping your arms around his neck to look at him. Peter settled his hands on your waist and gulped a little as he anxiously anticipated what you were gonna say.

“I love you too. I was gonna tell you that yesterday but then some bitch ass had to rob a bank and keep you from me.” You told him, making him laugh in both surprise and relief.

“Wait, nobody died right? Or was that super insensitive?” You asked him.

“Nobody died. I got punched in the nuts though.” He said though a laugh.

“Aw. Poor baby.” You pouted sarcastically and stroked his cheek. He laughed again before resting his forehead against your to look into your eyes. You stayed that way in comfortable silence for a moment before Peter felt your body freeze in fear.

“Oh my God.” You whispered.

“What’s wrong?”

“It just occurred to me that I’m standing on top of a random building with nothing but your noodle arms anchoring me to the floor. I’m gonna pass out. Take me to the ground, please. I beg you.”

“Hang tight.” Peter chuckled and safely swung you to the ground. Once he set you down, he crawled up the wall behind you and slipped his mask back over his face so that no one would accidentally see him.

“Peter?” You asked and looked around. He slid down on a web the way a spider would and stopped once he was at face level with you.

“I should probably be going now, little lady. Crime doesn’t take a night off.” He said in a his Hulk Hogan voice.

“Oh no. Do you have to go use your great power to take care of your great responsibilities?” You teased him and held your hands over your heart.

“I get the sense you’re teasing me.” Peter said in his usual voice.

“What gave you that idea?” You smiled sweetly and rested your hands on his upside down face.

“My spider senses tell me everything.” He returned to his funny voice to mask how nervous he was to be this close to you. You laughed at his joke and stroked his cheek under the mask.

“Will I see you again, Spiderman?” You asked in an exaggerated swooning voice.

“Only if you commit a crime.” He played along.

“Then I simply have to give you something to remember me by.”

“Your handkerchief?”

“Something better.” You laughed softly as you rolled his mask down to just under his nose. With just his lips exposed, you brought his face closer and kissed him, upside down in that alley way. Peter kissed you back and felt his heart explode in his chest as everything felt right again. It felt just as perfect as the first kiss and both of you knew that something big had just begun. When you pulled away, you rolled his mask back down over his face and smiled to yourself.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Peter.” You whispered in his ear so no one passing by could overhear his name. Peter felt his face blush beneath his mask and felt grateful you couldn’t see him.

The next day, Peter didn’t see you at your locker before his first class but saw you sitting at your usual lab table when he walked in. He smiled at the sight of you and felt relived that not only was you relationship back to normal, it was elevated. He sat beside you and you exchanged timid smiles. You still felt a degree of awkwardness around Peter as you didn’t know how things were going to be from now on. There was a substitute teacher today instead of your usual professor and when she passed around a work sheet for everyone to do, she accidentally skipped you. When Peter noticed this, he put his hand in the air.

“Could we please get another worksheet? My girlfriend didn’t get one.” Peter said once he was called on. The substitute had no idea why several people turned around to look at you and Peter with surprised faces, or why you looked like you’d just been asked for your hand in marriage.

“Oh, sorry. Here you go.” The sub said and handed you a sheet.

“Thank you.” You said before sneaking a glance at Peter. He was quietly doing his work, not making a big deal out of what he had just called you. You, on the other hand, were internally flipping out over the label.

“You just called me your girlfriend.” You leaned over to tell him.

“Did I?” He smiled cheekily but kept doing his work. You grinned at how nonchalant he was being and went back to doing your work.

“I’m sorta seeing someone.” You said without looking up.

“What? Who?” Peter dropped his pencil ad his attention whipped to you.

“Spiderman.” You causally shrugged and kept doing your work. Peter chuckled in relief and picked his pencil back up.

“Oh. Well I wouldn’t want to come between the two of you.”

“Thanks. We can still be friends though, right?” You asked and looked over at him.

“Yeah, totally. Just friends.” He nodded in agreement as he leaned in. You leaned the rest of the way and kissed him for just a moment before pulling away. You were both smiling and blushing messes as you went back to your work.

“What did you get for number 6?” You asked after a beat of comfortable silence.

“I got pH = 12.”

“Fuck.”

“What?” Peter wondered.

“I got “J.D. Salinger” for some reason.”

Tag List 🏷️

@awesomebooklover17 @thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling @serendipitous-amor @tom-hollands-wifey

@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101

@letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr @maryjanee23

@geeksareunique @emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland @flixndchill

@sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @caelestii-e @ @fiantomartell

@solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant @illwritetomorrow @thehappygrungelife

@saysomethingspiderman @smilexcaptainx @quaksonhehe @kelieah @seasidecrowbar

@lovelessdagger @electraheart-3174 @unbelievableholland @yourtypicalhotmess

@horanxholland @thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @heyheycharlatte @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie

@maybemona @alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom @xo-spidey

#peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker x you #peter parker angst #peter parker fluff #peter parker fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction

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rowretro · 3 months

Text

𝓜𝓻 𝓑𝓸𝔂𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭

✧taglist:✧ @strxwbloody

✧warnings: toxic/yandere themes, violence

✧synopsis: Yandere Sunoo, is a young teacher at y/n's high school, the 2 only having a 3-4 year gap. He's so in love with her. She's sweet, cute, loving and sensitive, she's a goddamn pushover and she needs him. Sunoo watches you, he knows everything about you, where you live, what you like, how you feel.

And now he finally has you.... though you're not into him....

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

You clutched onto your books, feeling judged as you walk down the hallways. Though the school board were ok with it, and Your parents were even willing to marry you off to Sunoo, there are no barriers for Sunoo. You even tried running away, how stupid of you. Your bruises and cuts were almost healed, thigh high socks hiding them from people's view.

You had to distance yourself from Jungwon too, not because of Yena and her group, who were thankfully expelled, but because of Sunoo. He gets so jealous on an insane level. You heard the locker slam shut, sighing as you knew who it was... Yang Jungwon. Things didn't exactly end the way you hoped they would.

You planned on drifting from him like most friends do, though it was hard, crying at home, missing the one close friend who was there for you no matter what. A boy you possibly had a crush on. You found out he had feelings for you too. However, you were with Sunoo and Won hid his love perfectly, but when you found out, Sunoo forced you to fall out with him, saying she only befriended him and acted nice to use him. She had no other choice but to do just that.

Jungwon gave you a dirty look before walking off. You stood by your locker feeling pretty hurt when you felt someone pat your shoulder. "Y/n, stop daydreaming and get to class... I don't like late comers" Sunoo said as the girl rolled her eyes when he wasn't looking. Sunoo smirked when heard the tapping of her platform heels not too far behind him.

The whole lesson, his eyes were on you. The other students too busy with their essays to even look at Sunoo. Not that he cared anyway. He loved watching you do normal things like studying. The way you sort of fiddle with hair or spin your pencil between your fingers, or doodle artistic little doodles around your work once you're done, waiting for the others to finish So you could start marking them.

"Why was Sungchan talking to you?!" Sunoo asked as you got in the car. "Huh? oh, he wanted me to help him with something" you simply answered as Sunoo stared at you intensely "help him with what?!" he asked, clearly annoyed. "Math homework. Don't worry I said no. He won't bother me anymore..." She added as the male narrowed his eyes at her, but smirked to himself hearing how she handled him.

Upon arriving home, the girl showered first, silently getting changed before going to the living room to do her homework while Sunoo marked some papers. "Sunoo... are clouds edible?" the girl suddenly asked as Sunoo frowned. "No... have you learned nothing in geography?" he asked as the girl shrugged. "I thought it would taste like marshmallows..." the girl mumbled with a pout.

"Y/n what is this?!" Sunoo asked as the girl blinked "test?" she said, blinking innocently as he glared at her, showing her paper and her bestfriend's paper "the same exact answers and you both failed what is this?" "Omg we have the same answers... makes sense we study together... and we took the same exam with the same questions" the girl said acting shocked as Sunoo sighed.

The girl sighed, lying upside down on the sofa, as she switched through the channels. "Sunoo... can I go out with my best friend?... I'm bored..." the girl asked as he stared at her in disbelief. "No. I'm not letting you go out. Last time you almost fucking ran away..." Sunoo pointed out as he squeezed one of her fresher wounds. "Did you learn nothing?...." he asked as the girl winced.

The girl gently pulled away as she sat normally, moving away from Sunoo. "Babe..." Sunoo called out as he sat beside "yes?" the girl asked as Sunoo turned to her "Do you love me?" he asked as the girl went silent. How the fuck could she? he hurt her, he gets dangerously jealous he fucking kidnapped her for the love of god. "yeah..." she said as Sunoo nodded.

"Then say it." He said "Say what?" "Say that you love me." he asked as the girl went silent. "Why you already know I love you right?" the girl asked, nervously chuckling as he stared at her. "You don't love me do you?..." he asked, silence trailing after. "I love you Sunoo..." she said, a forced sincere tone, with hidden venom and disgust. "How comes you never say it or kiss me or hug me or do what girlfriends do?!" he asked as the girl went silent.

"Because you're busy with school work and at school we can't fraternize..." she pointed out as the male nodded. "Hmm... I guess that checks out." he said, leaning over toward her, pulling her into his embrace and kissing her forehead not caring about the girl's unresponsiveness.

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ridhearts · 2 years

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it's in the little things {octavinelle + scarabia}

Part two of my "things they'd do when they're into you!" again, i'm not really sure if all of these are antithetical or not, at this point it's just me writing whatever sparks joy in my soul and trying to make it fit canon...a writing exercise of sorts?

part one (heartslabyul + savanaclaw) here!

Octavinelle

Azul - in the scribbled hearts in the margins of his notebook

This was certainly a nightmare.

It started as a dream - but a nightmare is a type of dream, certainly! Only this time, instead of happening on the vast fields in the middle of a dreadful P.E. block like most of his class-related nightmares occurred, Azul was stuck in the middle of a cold sweat in alchemy. Made into a fool in his best subject - how terrible is that?!

When Crewel announced that the day’s class would be a joint session with some underclassmen, Azul tried to hold in his excitement. There was no need for Jade and Floyd to know that he immediately knew it was your class that would be joining his own (or rather, he didn’t need to confirm it with them, for certainly they already knew.) Of course, he made sure his uniform was prim and pressed, his lab coat spotless, his safety goggles loosened just enough that they wouldn’t leave an embarrassing outline on his face once the day finally arrived. As Crewel explained the experiment and mentioned choosing partners, Azul’s eyes immediately flew over to you - only to find you also looking right at him. Almost imperceptibly, you smiled and nodded before ducking your head back down to look at your notebook. A giddy warmth flooded through Azul, though he wasn’t certain if it was from you or the general prospect of being sought after for voluntary partner choosing. Wrestling with the thought distracted him for the rest of Crewel’s explanation.

The experiment went along smoothly. You were quite the bright student, and on the more difficult areas you knew how to follow his instructions well. Azul was ecstatic to answer any of the questions you had, eager to look intelligent and capable when you needed him. It was almost…easy, talking to you this way. Yes, the day truly did start as a dream.

But then you asked to see his notes.

“I know yours are probably more detailed and advanced, but I think I must have written something down wrong? I don’t know, I just…would appreciate it,” You explained almost bashfully.

Still riding the wave of feeling dependable, Azul didn’t even think twice. He slid his notebook over to you with what he sincerely hoped was a charming (if not confident) smile. “Certainly. For your stellar performance today, I won’t charge you in return.”

You laughed quietly. “Oh, thank you-” Your words cut off in a high pitch, and Azul looked down at his notebook.

He felt so confident because this unit was easy.

It was so easy, he spent the review sessions doodling in his notebook.

He was doodling your name in little hearts the entire time.

Almost instantly, the suave facade Azul worked so hard to create and keep began to shatter. A large part of him wanted to snatch the notebook away and offer to look over your own notes yourself. Another large part of him wanted to stammer out a pathetic excuse and curl up in a ball, never to show his face again. His brain short circuited with the radical options he was weighing - a moment later, he simply choked out a strangled cough and looked away, busying himself with reorganizing clean beakers. Azul was certain his face was beet red.

You didn’t say anything to him, an Azul couldn’t even tell if you were copying down his notes or if you had just left. You probably left. After all, now that you saw he was nothing but a child who drew hearts on his notes and woke up early just to make sure his already-perfect uniform was even more perfect, you definitely didn’t want to-

He felt the edge of his notebook tap his back, but he didn’t turn around. Other students began filing to their seats while some finished the experiment or cleaned up, so you did the same, pointedly avoiding Azul’s gaze. Grimacing, Azul steeled himself and picked up his notebook, scanning the page and planning on scratching every heart out.

Then he noticed, in the space made between two separate paragraphs, a brand new heart in blue ink rather than black. The sides were asymmetrical, and there was an attempt at some kind of minimal shading along the edges. In your handwriting, written in blocky print, was your name followed by ‘+ AZUL 4EVA’

Quickly slamming his notebook shut, Azul turned bright red again, hurried to his seat, and refused to speak to or about you for the rest of the day.

Jade - in the kindness he gives you, no strings attached(?)

Give me a free Mostro Lounge drink once, shame on you.

You thought it was strange, that much Jade could tell. At first, you insisted he got the wrong table, only to shrink back when he acted offended over your insinuation that he couldn’t do his job. Once he assured you that he meant to place the drink on your table and walked away, you stared at the glass for a long time, almost as if you were expecting it to move. Your furry companion looked from you to the glass before going off on a tirade Jade couldn’t quite hear, undoubtedly saying something about how suspicious he was. Ah, well. It wasn’t Grim he was trying to charm.

Give me a free Mostro Lounge drink twice, this is getting weird.

The second drink arrived less than a minute after you finished the first, taking both you and Grim by surprise. You looked as if you had something to say, but you remained silent. Jade simply smiled and assured you that you could beckon him over if you found yourself in need. This time, as he retreated, he knew you were watching him. This was a more entertaining game to play than he thought.

Give me a free Mostro Lounge drink three times, I think I’m silently agreeing to some horrible murderous plot and I need to find a way out of my fate NOW.

“No more after this, please,” You finally said once the third one came around, right as you were finished with the second one. Beside you, Grim looked as if he was physically biting his tongue, knowing that deals were frequently Jade’s goal yet pained at the thought of denying free food. Jade nodded.

“Were they not to your liking, Prefect?” He asked, taking the empty glass and setting it on his tray. You blinked up at him twice.

“No, they were fine, I just-”

“Just fine?” Jade brought his hand up to grip his chin thoughtfully. “I thought for sure they were catered to your tastes.”

“They were great, but- catered to my tastes? And how’d you know exactly when I was done with each one?” You finally looked him in the eyes, almost daring him to admit he was watching you the whole time.

He was, of course. But why would he just tell you that?

“This is the second time you’ve implied I cannot do my job. Should I allow you to file a formal complaint?”

You fell silent, your gaze dropping to the table thoughtfully. Grim harrumphed at him, trying to intimidate him in your stead. A few tables away, Jade noticed someone debating getting his attention and promptly blocked them out.

“I didn’t order these. What will they cost?” You cringed at your imagined price.

“Nothing. On the house.”

“That is definitely a lie.”

Bending at the waist, Jade brought himself to your eye level and placed the tray in his hand on your table. His hand gripped the table’s edge, effectively trapping you in your booth. “Is it so hard to believe that I favor you so? I simply wish to keep you in the lounge. I quite like seeing you around.”

“You- what?”

“Ah, but now if you decide you want another drink, you’ll have to ask me for exactly what you want,” Jade said, allowing his voice to drop teasingly. If you were flustered before, Jade wasn’t sure what to call this level of bashfulness. You were shrinking into your seat, eyes averted, trying desperately not to let him know that he had successfully planted the ideas he wanted to in your head. “Don’t let it scare you, though. If it’s for you, I don’t mind an extra expense or two.”

He left you then to tend to the other tables. Maybe now he’d be in your mind as often as you were in his.

Floyd - in the sudden predictability of his moods

There was a rumor floating around the open-air halls of Night Raven College: Floyd’s unpredictable mood swings were becoming, well…predictable! The student body was torn over how to react. Some were thrilled, as they thought dealing with Floyd became infinitely easier if one knew when to catch him. Others were terrified, for they were sure it meant the end of days was coming. As for the two closest to him…they were more inconvenienced than anything else.

There was one major trigger for Floyd’s moods anymore, and it was the Ramshackle prefect. If Floyd was with them, he was in a good mood, excitable and energetic and eager to do most anything if he could drag the prefect along on his adventures. If Floyd wasn’t with them, he was moping around campus. In truth, this didn’t make him any easier to deal with, not when his thoughts refused to budge from the magicless student.

Floyd didn’t care about the dirt he had kicked up. He just wanted to find his shrimpy.

Usually, he could find them lurking in their last class, or watching one of their friends do their club activities. Other times he ran into them by a stroke of luck. Sometimes, though, Floyd couldn’t find them at all, each spot he found without the prefect only worsening his mood. It usually ended with him giving up and collapsing in the nearest convenient place until the prefect came to find him.

Which would explain why he was lying face-down on a bench with Jade and Azul standing behind it, one watching him in amusement while the other tapped his foot impatiently.

“How much do you think it would cost to hire the prefect to follow us around all day?” Azul asked, only half-expecting an answer.

“What position is opening? Would we employ them in the lounge? Or were you thinking you needed another assistant?” Jade responded. Beneath them, Floyd groaned out a disheartened, ‘Shrimpyyyyyyyy…’

Azul’s eyes followed the length of Floyd’s long body hanging over the seat of the bench on both ends. “That depends. Are babysitting wages higher or lower than those positions?”

Something caught Jade’s attention from one of the upper hallways. “Ah, this brainstorming can wait another day. Look who’s here to save the day again.”

Like an elastic band pulled too tightly, Floyd spun around and pulled up his knees so his legs were no longer stuck beneath the arm of the bench. After he crashed off the bench, he skipped merrily your way while Jade and Azul waved up at you. Not having seen Floyd leap into action, you walked to the concrete wall and leaned over, waving back cheerfully. Seconds later, Floyd ran up behind you and picked you up, laughing as Grim leapt off your shoulder to escape him.

Azul stopped Jade before he could move to join the two of you, holding out a small slip of paper. “Will you give this to him? Maybe he’ll be more productive now that they’re around.”

Jade smiled and bowed, both respectful and condescending at the same time. They both knew the chances of getting Floyd to divert his attention from you was low. “Of course.”

Azul watched as Floyd swung you around for a moment, a part of him pleased that you seemed to enjoy Floyd’s company as much as he did yours. Jade approached the two of you and offered Floyd the list, briefly explaining something. After looking at it for a moment, Floyd ate the paper - literally ate the paper - before either of you could think to stop him, and Azul sighed heavily as he took that as his cue to leave.

Scarabia

Kalim - in the little ways he finds to be selfish

The light was quickly fading from the Scarabian horizon as the sun hid itself beneath the desert sand. The heat still clung to the earth, soothed only by the faintest breeze rushing in through the open-air lounge. Kalim leaned on the table in front of him, looking up at you with completely unhindered adoration as you spoke. His eyes were drawn to every little movement - your hands tousling your hair, tugging on your ear, gesturing gently in front of you. The way you shifted your foot, careful with the impact as you willed the pins and needles away. All the other Scarabia students had cleared the mess from the meal a while ago, leaving the both of you alone with a slumbering Grim. If Kalim had been paying attention to anything but you, he might’ve heard Jamil comment on how this was the longest he’s been quiet, ever.

To be entirely honest, Kalim wasn’t entirely focused on what you were saying. There were other things grabbing his attention: your movements, of course, and the soft melody of your voice. Kalim wondered if your ears were pierced, and which of the earrings he had would look best on you. They’d all look good. He’d have to give a few pairs to you before you left.

Whether you noticed he was startlingly quiet or just ran out of things to say, you eventually trailed off and stared at Kalim while he stared at you. He wasn’t subtle at all with his gaze, and it had long since stopped being unnerving. Clearing your throat, you watched him blink to reality before saying, “It’s getting late. Grim and I really need to go over the latest unit in Crewel’s class before tomorrow, so…”

“No!” Kalim suddenly said, sitting upright in a flash and grabbing your wrist. His grip was feather-light, but the panic in his eyes almost warranted a true emergency. “Uh, don’t…we don’t want to wake up Grim! He’s sleeping so soundly.”

“Oh, please,” You said, affectionately rolling his eyes. “The only person who can fall asleep easier than Grim is Leona.”

Kalim didn’t smile at your quip like you thought he would. Instead, his eyes darted around frantically, clearly searching for another excuse to keep you around. He didn’t know why he felt so urgently to make you stay, especially when you had things to do at Ramshackle. If he found out he was the reason you failed an alchemy lab, he’d feel absolutely awful. But he also wasn’t one to hold himself back from what he wanted, and what he wanted was to be plastered to your side at all times.

Or, at least, to spend another hour with you.

“Please stay,” He finally asked, settling his gaze on yours. “I really like talking to you.”

“We’ll talk tomorrow,” You tried to reason with a shrug. “If you keep me much longer, I won’t have anything left to say to you!”

“You could tell me the same story on repeat. I’d love listening to you all the same.”

He let go of your wrist then, propping his chin in his hands like a child awaiting a story. Kalim’s earnest words sent a nervous feeling fluttering in your chest. To hide your embarrassment, you turned your head away and watched Grim twitch his ears in his sleep.

“Maybe…Grim would appreciate the extra nap time, wouldn’t he?” You asked. Kalim clapped excitedly and scooted closer to you, your legs now touching. Trying to hide your embarrassment by clearing your throat, you asked, “Uh, where was I in my story…?”

Jamil - in allowing himself to fantasize

“This question is rigged against me specifically, you know.”

Jamil leaned to look over your shoulder, scoffing lightly when he saw in bold ‘WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN FIVE YEARS?’ “Even Kalim can answer that by himself.”

“Kalim doesn’t have his fate resting in the hands of Crowley,” You huffed, crossing your arms and leaning against the back of your chair. “I have no idea if he’s ever going to find a way for me to get home. When he does, do I get a choice to go through? What happens if he doesn’t? Do I have to stay here at the school until he figures it out, or can I just kinda wander the world with no idea how anything works?”

Jamil nodded, only half-listening as he scribbled down a few of the steps he used to solve the alchemical equation on his paper. The ‘show your work’ rule was more of a burden than a help for him, but he needed to get all the points he could if he was free to bring his averages up now.

“What if I just write something completely crazy?” You mused, staring up at the ceiling. “Maybe I really do want to join a wolf pack or something. How would Trein know?”

All you got in response was a quick exhale, which was close enough to a laugh to satisfy you. “Seriously, though. Where do you see yourself in five years?”

“That’s the question, isn’t it,” You grumbled. Jamil let you fall into a thoughtful silence, glad for the opportunity to finish his own assignment in peace. Your ramblings were pleasant to listen to, but he still appreciated a moment to focus. “What would I have to do to be with you?”

Immediately, Jamil stiffened, pressing down with his pencil so severely he ripped a hole in his notebook paper. He didn’t let you ask what was wrong, and instead tilted his head so his hair fell over the side of his face in a protective barrier between the two of you. “Don’t say such careless things.”

For as much as Jamil found himself admiring your quick wit, he really wished you could have kept your mouth shut. “Oooo, how about I say, ‘In five years I see myself mooching off the riches of Kalim’s family while I figure out how to court his personal retainer.’ That’s not far more personal than Trein intended, right?”

“Quit it.”

“Maybe, ‘I see myself working alongside my beloved-”

“Stop.” Pulling his hood over his head, Jamil turned his body even more away from you and stared at his notebook. You had plenty more teasing remarks in your arsenal, but you laughed underneath your breath and decided to give him a break.

Jamil heard you writing a few seconds later, but he refused to look. He knew that if you could see his expression, you’d see something worse than embarrassment - a foolish smile at the mere thought of being someone important to you. When did you decide to get so bold all of a sudden?

His lament was interrupted by a paper sliding over his hand. Glancing down, he had to will himself not to throw the paper back at you. There was no saving his pride with this one.

If I should be so lucky, I hope to be able to explore the homes of the friends I’ve made at NRC. I hope to visit the gardens of the Queendom of Roses, the evening glow of the Sunset Savanna, and the festivals of Scarabia….all with the people most important to me.

“Hopefully he understands that I have no government identity and am relying solely on networking to get anywhere after this,” You said with a shrug.

“Looks good,” Jamil said quickly, sliding the paper back and still refusing to look at you. He didn’t want you to know that he was reading between the lines; whether from your teasing or your genuine intentions, he couldn’t help but wonder what it might be like to take you to one of the festivals himself, to guide you through the crowds with your hand in his and nothing else to worry about except which stall to visit next.

Maybe you were both hopeless. But if you were taking the opportunity to dream…maybe it wouldn’t hurt, just this once, for Jamil to do the same.

#is it obvious i like to clown on octavinelle a little bit #it's all with love! but azul's are with more love #twisted wonderland #twst #twst x reader #kalim al asim x reader #jamil viper x reader #jade leech x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #floyd leech x reader #kalim al asim #jamil viper #jade leech #floyd leech #azul ashengrotto #twisted wonderland x reader #twst imagines

3K notes · View notes

justadreamer08 · 1 year

Text

𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬

wc: 2.7k

pairing: tasm!peter parker x reader (best friends to lovers)

warnings: fluffier than a cloud, nicknames ~ my darling, pebble (it will make sense you guys), bug (mom’s nickname for reader), hand-holding, kissing?

author's note: Hey all! This is my first time posting one of my many drafts! I just deemed this one good enough to let the public see, so I hope you all like it.

summary: Your friendship with peter develops into something more, all because of chemistry notes and your favorite skatepark.

(e/c) ~ eye color

(r/n) ~ reader's name bc (y/n) has just become an unofficial oc that's icky :)

Masterlist

You restlessly sat in your chemistry class. Tapping the eraser on your pencil on your notebook. Your teacher was droning on and on about the four main gas laws. You were originally paying attention, but after the first 30 minutes, you tuned your teacher out. You let out a quiet huff, slowly closing your eyes and shaking your head, you let your gaze drift down to your notes. You opted to draw various doodles and shapes on your paper, when your thoughts drifted to your best friend.

Peter Parker. Your parents were close friends with the Parkers, and thus you and Peter grew up together. You'd seen the long days, short nights, stormy nights, and cloudy days. You'd gone through everything together. You all had dinner together one night at the Parker's, when the two of you looked up from your previous conversation about whatever trivial matters you talked about back then, to see his parents, and your father rushing out the door, zipping about the house. They all left to go to attend to work, and never came back. Since then, you and Peter were stuck together like glue. When Ben died, you were there. When Peter came knocking on your bedroom window, still clad in his suit telling you Gwen died, you were there. You held him through the night, and you were what he needed you to be. A friend, a shoulder to cry on. You'd seen all of Peter's good and bad, his good-looking and his ugly. And he'd seen all of yours

You'd always been able to say that you loved Peter dearly. It's true. He'd always been your everything, your shoulder to lean on, and you were his. The thought had crossed your mind in previous years about the truth behind your affections for him, but you never truly accepted that you felt more than friendly toward him until Gwen died. You knew Peter loved her with all his heart, as did you because he did. When you saw how her death broke him, you refused to see him hurt in that way again if you could do something about it. You'd made it your mission to keep that ardorable lopsided grin he has on his face. Through baby steps, Peter got to a better place, and other people started to show interest in your best friend. You said nothing, and encouraged him to go for anything he wanted, repressing your own favor for him. Since then, your subconcious had a funny way of expressing your emotions toward Peter.

Amongst the various drawings on your chemistry notes, Peter's name lay encompassed by a heart.

RRRRRIIIINNGGGG

Your eyes shot up at the clock when you heard the bell ring. You gathered your things as quickly as you could and booked it. Student chatter filled the halls, as you searched for your best friend. You knew each other's schedules like the back of your hands, and you both had a free period next. You craned your neck around the bustling students when your (e/c) eyes locked with a familiar pair of brown eyes.

You sent a two finger salute in Peter's direction, and he lifted an eyebrow, laughed, and shook his head. You rounded the corner of the hall to your locker, putting away your chemistry books.

"Parker." you stated with a smile, noticing Peter's reflection in the mirror at the back of your locker.

" R/N" he responded as if it were routine. (Which it is)

"So?" you ask turning around to face him, closing your locker.

"Quad?" he asked pointing towards the door.

You nodded and walked in step with him to the student quad.

You lay on your back at Peter's feet, and he was sitting and tinkering with his camera. You had a stack of paper next to you, making various things with them. There were paper airplanes, fortune-tellers, rings, chainlinks, and other whatnot strewn around your head. You finished a paper airplane and threw it at Peter, hitting him square in the face, stifling laughs.

"Haha, very funny..." he drones, not looking up from his work.

You throw another plane in his direction, raising an eyebrow at him. He looks up, trying to appear unamused, but failing.

"What?" he speaks.

"Nothing" you say straightfaced, before breaking a small, short-lived smile.

He returns to his work and mutters something along the lines of nuisance with a chuckle, before looking up again and speaking.

"Oh! I just remembered, I need your chem notes."

You've returned to your paper masterpieces, sufficing to give him a thumbs up. You sit there doing your respective tasks, when the bell rings out again. The two of you stand up, walking back into school. You stop at your locker, handing your chemistry notebook to Peter.

RRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGG

The bell sounded, signifying the end of the day. You had an arts history project you really needed to start working on, so instead of accompanying Peter to you guy’s favorite skate park, you went home. You waved bye to a saddened, but understanding Peter, who was disappointed that you guys couldn’t carry out your normal routine of going to the skate park, getting some greasy and albeit unhealthy food, watching a movie together, procrastinating from doing some much needed work, being yelled at by May to get your homework done, parting ways to get some sleep, and starting all over again.

~ You arrived at your door, just barely making it past the threshold when your phone rang.

“Hello?” you spoke, pushing the door closed with your foot.

“Hey, Hi! Uh, I have your chemistry notes, and completely forgot to give them back to you, want me to come over later and bring ‘em?” You hear the familiar voice of Peter ringing through the speakers, and a light smile dances on your face.

“Uh yeah sure, I don’t need them right now, but just come over whenever” you replied, somewhat absentmindedly, while looking through the kitchen for something to eat. Your undivided attention wasn’t brought back to Peter until you heard a muffled female voice, and dissected conversation.

“Oh- uh hi…no I don’t….skatepark down that way…flattering…sorry, no thanks…” You heard bits and pieces of Peter’s words, furrowing your eyebrows at the phone.

“Pete what did you say?” you ask in confusion. Someone was flirting with Peter again for sure. You saddened slightly, but perked up again when you heard his voice come through the phone again.

He laughed awkwardly, and you smiled because you could visualize very clearly him scratching the back of his head the way he always did.

“Uhm yeah, anyway, I’ll come over later, you want me to bring takeout or pizza or something?”

“Sure!” you say breaking into a full grin at the mental picture.

“Sick, I’ll be over later okay? Bye!” he responded.

“Bye!” you spoke into the speaker, pressing the end call button. You went back to rummaging through the kitchen, deciding that chips and a pop-tart were good enough. You went into your room, dropping your backpack on the floor and grabbed your skateboard. You sat down and began to work on your project, pushing your skateboard back and forth under your feet.

You heard the house door close, and the sound of keys dropping on the table some hours later, signifying your mom’s arrival. She noticed your keys sitting on the table, and called through the house.

“Hey Bug!” she yelled.

“Hey mom!” you responded. Her footsteps echoed down the hall, as she poked her head in your room.

“Homework?” she asked.

“Yep…”

“Arts History?” You threw a sad thumbs up her way.

“Ew.” she chuckled, blowing you a kiss as she knocked on your door frame, signifying her departure. You continued working begrudgingly for about 45 minutes, when a realization hit you, and your head shots up from your work.

Peter has your chem notes, drawings and all. And you put his name in a heart. A HEART. You were screwed.

Peter was at the skatepark, sitting atop one of the ramps with his skateboard next to him. He was staring long and hard at your notebook. He didn’t need them anymore, he’d read through them all. It was the corner of the page that drew his attention. His name, in your handwriting, was encompassed by a heart. Did you do it as a joke? Had you done it and completely forgotten? We’re you playing some sort of mind game?

Peter couldn’t lie to himself. Despite having gone through one true relationship he never thought he’d get ever, and the number of people that seem to like to try and get his attention. It just happened around when he was on the phone with you actually, but they always ended in rejection. After you helped him get through coping with Gwen’s death, he realized he wouldn’t want to lose you for the world. You were his everything, and he wanted you close, in anyway he could have you, and recently, he’d realized that ‘more than friends’ was one of those ways.

You stared at Peter’s contact picture on your phone that was sitting on the floor. You sat crouched on your bed, debating what to do, because he definitely knew. How could he not? His name was right there on a page in a heart, and you were so forgetful, you hadn’t even thought about it when you gave him the notes. So you sat there, glaring at your phone- and then it lit up. Peter was calling you.

Your eyes widened and you backed away from the edge of the bed, putting more distance between you and the thing, not wanting to talk to him. Then you decided, out of some fit of completely fake confidence, that you were going to talk to him in person. You grabbed your skateboard and marched out the door confidently. The. you realized what you were actually about to do.

Peter was on his way to your house when he saw you skating down the street in his direction. He slowed to a stop and walked up to you in confusion. You stopped, hopped off of your board, and shoved it under your arm when you saw his figure walking in your direction

“Wha- how am I supposed to meet you at your house, if you’re here?" Peter speaks with befuddlement, eyes darting around nervously.

"Well, I figured we could go out and get food or something, since we didn't do our normal routine after school!" The words flew out of your mouth, blurring together.

Peter nodded in understanding, and put his board in his bag and started walking alongside you.

The two of you ended up at your favorite place, John's Pizzeria. The conversation you had on the way there wasn't horrible at all. It wasn't awkward, and quite pleasant. The two of you were seated on the top level of the restaraunt, surrounded by the fairy lights on the railings. The atmosphere was always amazing, which is why the two of you loved it so much.

The routine was the same as it had been for years: Extra Large Pizza, Half and Half of your favorite toppings, delicious garlic butter breadsticks, and soda for days. The two of you shared laughs about teachers, you listened to him rant about science and photography. He listened and hung onto your every word as you talked about your favorite things. The two of you split the bill, and left, walking in the direction of the skatepark. The two of you lay on your skateboards at the bottom of the ramp. Peter abruptly sat up, and started rummaging through his bag.

"Oh, here, your chemistry notes. " he hands the book to you, and in the flickering lights of the skatepark, you can see the tips of his ears turning red.

"Thanks." you speak, brushing your thoughts away, although you feel your face heat up. You train your gaze on the sky, the air around you guys silent, save for the breeze and sounds of the city.

"I like you too you know..." Peter mumbles cautiously, fearful to let the words pass his lips. He gestures to the notebook, and you flip to the page with his name on it. You turn, sit up and look at him, and his eyes widen slightly and his gaze drops.

"Really?" you speak through a breathy laugh. He looks back at you and nods in response, a smile gracing his features. You smile in return, and when you think back to about how you'd approached the whole incident, you chuckle. Peter furrows his eyebrows, but finds himself laughing along with you. You try to explain between fits of laughter the absurdity of the dance you'd been engaging in. Although your speech is broken, he understands you perfectly. He always did.

The laughter dies down and you both sigh catching your breath. Peter reaches for you, leans forward speaks up first.

"I really want to kiss you right now, is that bad?" he questions.

You laugh and lean your forehead on his.

"Not in the slightest."

Peter lifts your face to his, you lips fitting together perfectly. The kiss is slow, soft, and gentle. You pull away, dazed smiles on both of your faces.

"Who would have thought you'd be my pebble..." he mutters, thumb running up and down your jawline. You furrow your eyebrows in confusion as he elaborates.

"Like, you know how when you're skateboarding, or walking, or riding a bike, and you can be having a great time, but a rock or a pebble gets stuck in your shoe or wheel? Well, I was moving through life, and I always had something there, a pebble that kind of confused me, I was wondering how it ever got there, and I was desperate to figure it out. You are my pebble. You've always been there, you completely turned my life in a different direction, got me out of my comfort zone, and when I needed to be brought back to Earth you were there....It's you, my shoulder to lean on, it was you, someone to vent with, someone to confide in, a friend, someone to just sit in the silence of the dark with...it's you. You were whatever I needed, and even when I didn't know I needed it you were there. You always had been, and I can't get rid of you, but I wouldn't want to. It's you, and I'm glad it was you." he speaks with a smile growing on his face.

"Hm, R/N the pebble...your pebble? It's gonna grow on me, I kind of like it..."

"Always you, and only you my darling" he laughs.

You groan and rub your hands over your face.

"Chemistry notes. It took chemistry notes."

"Hey! At least we know we work out, we have great chemistry...literally I'm in your notebook, the science doesn't lie!"

You laugh at his dorkiness, and start to stand up.

"C'mon Mr. Parker, it's getting late, lets go." He puts his board in his bag, and you get on yours. You grab his hand, and he gets up and starts walking. He keeps hold of your hand, softly pulling you on your skateboard to your house. You get to your steps and he walks you up to the door.

"Goodnight my pebble" he smiles slowly letting go of your hand.

"Goodnight Pete" you smile.

You go insideand close the door, with a huge smile on your face. You open your eyes to your mom leaning against the kitchen doorframe with a smirk on her face.

"It's about time!" She throws her hands onto her hips smiling at you. She was always a huge advocate for you and Peter getting together. You smile, look down and shake your head. You say your goodnights, and walk to your room.

Your mom stayed in her spot, watching your figure fade away as you walked back to your room. She always had your best interest in mind. She saw the longing glances, and the heart eyes you shot his way when you thought nobody was watching. She saw the way his face lit up whever you walked into the room or said his name. She always saw herself and your dad, and the Parker's in you two, and although you all loved Gwen and how she made Peter happy, and were all equally devastated at her loss, she always had a hunch about the two of you. To see the look on your face when you walked in the door made her heart warm, and she knew that you guys would be endgame.

𝙄𝙩 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙨, 𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙮 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖 𝙨𝙠𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙠 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙪𝙮𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙞𝙜𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙤𝙪𝙩

𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔼𝕟𝕕

#andrew garfield #tasm!peter x y/n #tasm!peter fluff #tasm!peter parker #tasm!peter x reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #fluff #best friends to lovers #best friends to dating

217 notes · View notes

ckret2 · 1 year

Note

i personally think bill looks dashing in that tunic >:]

im excited to see that fic, have fun making it cause it's amazing so far. rip ford. LOL

Good, because here's the next part! I was gonna fully draw out Bill in his tunic again, but then I was like, no I'd rather do the fastest doodle possible so I can get this posted sooner. Sneak preview of a later scene!!

For anyone who missed it, the first scene is here!

####

"Mr. Pines! Watch out!"

Ford was turning to face his assailant when Soos barreled into him. They crashed into the glass souvenir case together. Ford tumbled over it and to the floor, bringing a dozen jars filled with plastic aliens and lime jello with him. Soos felt the heavy glass sculpture slide down along his back, ripping through a layer of fabric. Aw. That was his best suit.

From the ground, Ford grunted, "Thanks." Stan rushed around the souvenir case to help him up.

"Sure thing, Mr. Pines." Soos steadied himself, then turned to face down the murderous tourist.

She was panting, one eye half squinted, face contorted in a hateful snarl, still clutching the heavy glass weight in trembling arms—before her glower fixed on Soos.

He returned the glare. "You! If you wanna get at either of the Pineses, you're gonna have to throw down with me!"

"Cute, a warm-up round! What the heck, why not." One corner of her cruel sneer quirked up. "I've got time to waste."

"Bring it on!" Arms outstretched to seize the tourist, Soos lunged for her with a roar.

And she vanished.

Soos crashed into the souvenir display beside the shop exit, knocking one shelf off the wall and dumping a pile of snow globes and hats to the floor. He looked around wildly. "What?"

Ford gingerly stood with one hand on Stan's shoulder for support and the other on the souvenir case. "Where did Bill go?"

Soos stared. "Bill?"

Ford stared back. "That was obviously Bill! Didn't you recognize his voice? What did his eyes look like?"

Soos's heart leaped into his throat as his adrenaline doubled. "Wait, that was Bill?!"

Before Ford could answer, the "tourist" reappeared, in the exact spot Soos had barreled through just a moment ago. Soos and the Pines flinched back.

Ford gave the intruder's ridiculous purple pony-covered robe a long up and down look. "All right, I can see why you were distracted."

Bill cackled. "And it works on you, too!" He heaved the glass sculpture onto one shoulder, stumbled back a step under the weight, and chucked it toward Ford's head.

Stan tackled Ford to the ground again. The sculpture shattered on the wall behind them. Soos lunged again for Bill, only for him to snap off his tape measurer belt and vanish again before Soos's eyes—

—and instantly reappear across the room, holding a heavy antique diver's helmet. "I've gotta hand it to you, Stanley—" Bill grunted as he chucked the helmet toward Stan's face, "—you've got quite a toy collection!"

And then the room dissolved into Bill-filled anarchy. Stan caught the helmet—slowing it down enough to bruise his jaw rather than shatter it ("And your head's gonna be part of my collection when I'm through with you, you freak!")—and charged for Bill with fist raised only for him to vanish again; and then Soos's view of Stan was blocked by two more Bills, one picking up a fake ancient clay tablet, the other weaving the other way to pick up the diving helmet off the counter where it had sat for years undisturbed. The pair flashed each other finger guns, then with a synchronized snap of their measuring tapes they disappeared.

"How's he doing that?!" Stan yelled. Two Bills appeared next to the taxidermy mermaid case, and with a laborious heave toppled it against Stan. One immediately vanished; the other paused to catch his breath long enough for Stan to shove off the mermaid and take a wild swing toward his face, but the punch only hit air.

"Time tape!" Ford said. "Dipper wrote about them in my journal! I—"

Another Bill appeared, swinging the one of the Mystery Shack's novelty 8 Ball-topped canes down toward Ford's head.

Ford crossed his wrists over his head, narrowly catching the cane in the crux and diverting it to the side. Bill blew a raspberry in his face and disappeared again. Ford drew a futuristic space laser Soos did not know he had, and shouted, "I've seen similar devices before! While Bill's using time travel combat he can anticipate our moves and appear anywhere!"

Ford said the phrase with such conviction that Soos had to ask, "Is 'time travel combat,' like, a legit thing?"

"Yes, I've studied some myself—although I never progressed past a yellow belt."

"Dude."

As Soos surveyed the sea of Bills, he realized, to his horror, that Bill's now-removed tape measurer belt had been the only thing keeping Bill's pony toga closed. He instinctively clapped a hand over his eyes when he caught sight of an exposed sliver of skin from armpit to foot.

"Oh, you've studied!" Bill's mocking laugh was a thin, strained wheeze. "Always the scholar! I'm self-taught. It makes me less..."

—another Bill appeared, tripped Soos, laughed, reached into the air just before another Bill appeared to throw him a clay tablet, and vanished.

"... PREDICTABLE!" Yet another Bill swung an 8 Ball cane down at Soos with a grunt of exertion. Soos barely jerked his head out of the way. His ear rang from the crash of the 8 Ball on the floor. "This—hahh... this is more durable than I thought," Bill panted, then vanished.

Stan shouted, "So what's the plan?!" He had resorted to standing in one spot, taking wild swings at any Bill who got too close, forcing back any that appeared within striking range. Soos hadn't seen him land a hit yet.

"Converge on me!" Ford had never gotten out from behind the (now shattered) glass souvenir case, and was using it like a shield as he swiveled his laser toward any Bill that got too close. "Wall to your backs! Three sixty degree awareness!"

Soos got to a knee. A snow globe thrown from the far side of the room hit the side of his head. He saw stars. "Ow?"

"Come on, move!" Stan jerked Soos up and dragged him toward Ford. Dizzy, Soos instinctively covered his eyes as more Bills flashed by.

When they finally shoved their backs to the wall behind the souvenir case, Soos cried, "That was the longest ten-foot run of my life! How do we fight a time traveler?!"

"For starters," Stan snapped, "You could try looking at him!"

"I'm sorry Mr. Pines, I can't help it! He's got womanly curves and that toga is really indecent!"

A cackle, "If I knew you were that easily distracted, I wouldn't have bothered with a toga at all!"

"My Abuelita raised a gentleman!" (Abuelita—she was probably still napping in the living room chair, just one door away from the gift shop. If Bill found her—)

Ford fired a futile laser shot toward the voice, then batted aside the Mr. Mystery bobblehead Bill had chucked. "He's very good at this—he hasn't accidentally appeared in the path of our counterattacks; he's improvising split-second stable time loops with his various trans-temporal iterations—the sophistication of his chronological choreography—"

Appearing perched on the corner of the souvenir case with his legs crossed, Bill said, "Nerdy but flattering!"

The Pines flinched back. At the sight of way too much leg, Soos automatically hid his eyes again. Between a crack in his fingers he saw Bill pull a novelty 8 Ball cane from a basket with a dozen more and mutter, "It'll probably break after the first swing, but what the hey. Polo!"

A second Bill appeared. "Marco!" He threw the cane to himself without looking, the second raised it to prepare to hit an unseen target, and both vanished just in time for Ford's laser shot to harmlessly pass through empty air.

Ford groaned. "He's even precisely timing his banter! This level of time travel combat is vastly beyond my expertise! We'd have to get lucky enough to wrestle the time tape away from him—but when he's got eyes on the battle from the past and future..."

Stan snapped his fingers in Ford's face. "He's bedazzling you with that gizmo, Poindexter! Forget the time travel. He's not using any of his space demon magic, his aim's terrible, and look at him—he's got little noodle arms! He can barely lift half the stuff he's chucking. It took two of him to knock over the mermaid!"

"The mermaid case has wobbly little legs," Soos pointed out. "I've almost knocked it over by accident like a million times."

"And he's been outta breath since the fight started," Stan went on. "All this weird time travel junk means he's been fighting longer than us, right? He's barely on his feet! I say we start swingin' like maniacs! It'll only take one good punch to lay him out, no matter what time he jumped in from!"

"You make an interesting point!"

Bill was standing between the trio and the gift shop exit—face flushed, breathing heavily, sweat plastering his golden hair to his forehead and soaking the collar of his toga, arms trembling as he leaned his weight on the 8 Ball cane. But he was still wearing his hateful, crooked, squint-eyed grin, like he'd just thought up some nasty new trick. "What can I say, I've always been more brains than brawn! But, consider this: what if I make ten of me, and we throw every single piece of junk in the room at you!"

There was a split second of horrified silence, broken only by the snap of a retracting tape measurer.

And then the room was a storm of purple pony bedsheets hailing down cheap knickknacks.

"Dudes, get behind me!" Soos protectively cupped his hands behind his head and turned his back toward the brunt of the projectiles to shield the Pines. Novelty keychains and out-of-date roadmaps pelted his back. "This is the most annoying fight ever!"

"Annoying—until a lucky throw concusses us! We have to retreat," Ford said. "Our only chance is to get somewhere he hasn't been yet and catch him the first time he comes into the room. Come on!"

He tore down a cheap tapestry to fling over the trio like the world's flimsiest shield. They charged first toward the museum entrance, veered away when another Bill chucked the invisible man's glasses through the doorway, and then turned toward the living room.

"No," Soos gasped, "This way!" He dragged the trio toward the vending machine.

Stan tried to yank away from him. "Are you crazy?! Let Bill get at all the—the dangerous science stuff down there?"

Soos was already punching in the vending machine code. "I'm sorry, Mr. Pines, but I'm not letting a crazy killer triangle get my grandma!"

Ford said, "Even with the worst equipment disabled, the living room's still safer—"

There was a fourth person beneath the tapestry. "Peekaboo."

Soos and the Pines screamed. Bill grappled Ford and his teeth went for his face—Soos and Stan pried Bill off of Ford and flung him out from under the tapestry, and the trio barreled down the basement stairs.

They didn't take off the tapestry and heave a sigh of relief until the elevator door was closed and they were descending toward the basement.

"That was close," Stan said. "He didn't get you, did he?"

"No," Ford sighed. "Thank goodness for that."

Soos said, "Dude, wouldn't it be crazy if like, he bit you, and then you turned into a triangle?"

Stan and Ford stared at him.

"Heh. You know. Like a werewolf?"

Solemnly, Ford said, "Yes, it would be crazy." He turned toward Stan. "Anyway—you were right about his strength, Stanley. I've dabbled in my fair share of martial combat styles during my travels, and—well, if he's a black belt in time travel, then he has the hand-to-hand combat skills of a second grader. He never got a secure grip on me. If I'd had more free space to move, I probably could have broken his arm in three places."

"Whoa!" Stan laughed. "The next time he grabs you, I'll just back off and let you do your thing!"

Ford gave him a wan smile.

The elevator slowed to a stop. Ford strode out first to check the defunct lab equipment, followed by Soos; Stan emerged last, walking backwards, keeping an eye on the elevator as if he feared something was going to come out of it. "So," Stan said, "All we gotta do is stop him before he starts pulling his time tricks in here, right?"

"Precisely," Ford said. "And, if we're lucky—"

"—I won't come downstairs an hour before you, right?" Bill said.

Ford and Soos whipped around. Bill stood silhouetted in the yellowy light of the open elevator, novelty 8 Ball cane in one hand, pointing a familiar-looking laser at the back of Stan's head. Ford frantically patted down his coat's holster, and sucked in a quiet gasp. Slowly, Stan raised his hands in surrender.

"Now I know why you're just a yellow belt, Sixer," Bill laughed. "You never learned how to cheat!" Bill had clearly taken the opportunity for a short break: he wasn't gasping for breath or dripping sweat anymore. But there was still a faint tremble in his arm as he held up the gun.

Ford began, "Bill..."

"No talking, Stanford," Bill snapped. "Remember what happened the last time we played 'hostage negotiator'? I'm not falling for your tricks twice!"

"Falling for my tricks?! After all that you—"

Bill's finger twitched on the trigger. The laser hummed, its lights slowly brightening. "What did I just say! No. Talking."

Ford stiffened, but clenched his jaw shut. Soos said, "I, uh... I think he's agreeing to your terms."

"Good." The laser slowly dimmed. Stan's shoulders sagged. "The two of you—in the portal room. Stanley and I will be right behind you."

While Bill spoke, Ford tugged open a small drawer hidden behind Soos from Bill's view; but finding it had been emptied, he grimaced, exchanged a helpless look with Soos, and nodded.

"Oh, this is too perfect! First I can take out the geek who killed me, the idiot he killed me in, and their giant baby; and then all I have to do is wait for the littler twins to get here so I can deal with them, too!"

Dipper and Mabel were arriving that evening. If Bill stuck around that long, and found Abuelita... And if Melody came over for dinner... Soos shot a sideways glance at Ford. Ford's face was red with rage, but he kept his gaze fixed forward. Soos prayed he was thinking of a plan.

There was nothing of the portal left but some mechanical rubble strewn across the cavern floor. Ford and Soos were feet from where the activation switch used to be before Bill called, "That's perfect—stay right there! You—go join them."

Stan's teeth were clenched and his fists balled, but he didn't turn to face Bill until he was standing at Ford's side. "You're nuts if you think you're gonna get away with this. It's three to one! Hit one of us and the others'll tear you apart before you can line up the next shot."

Bill cackled, voice high and echoing in the empty cavern. He twirled his novelty cane giddily as he said, "Look who's never fought a time traveler before! You think you're facing one of me?" He carefully positioned himself directly in front of the trio, glancing down at the floor as if looking for the right mark to step on, and said, "You're already outnumbered. In a second I'll have a firing squad a hundred strong. You'll be shredded into flesh spaghetti! And me—" His gaze moved from Stan's face to Ford's, and he looked directly into his eyes as he raised his gun. "I'm going to really enjoy killing you a hundred times in a row."

He tightened his grip on the trigger.

The trio braced themselves.

The laser hummed louder.

Bill hesitated.

He glanced from side to side. "Where are the other ninety-nine of me?"

And that was when fifty teenage twins crashed against his back like a tidal wave.

#bill cipher #human bill cipher #grunkle stan #grunkle ford #soos ramirez #gravity falls #gravity falls fic #bill goldilocks cipher #my writing

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34saveme34 · 2 months

Text

SMG3's Interactable Adventure - Chapter 2

Previous chapter

[As you can see, we meet our host clearer this time. Forgot to include this before but

Word count: 4354

Vote by the end of chapter, choose Wisely :) ]

“The votes are in, boy!” exclaimed the mysterious figure with a cheerful tone.

“Votes for what?” 3 looked at them confused. He still couldn’t shake it off that something looked familiar about them. Though appearance didn’t do much, that voice was all too familiar. He swore he heard them somewhere before.

“The audience’s choice! To help you feel better in this odd situation!”

“So… I wasn’t the only one feeling it?”

“That’s right! Now here” the figure handed him the receipt.

“What is this? It’s… huh” 3 found it strange “What should I do with this?”

“Is it really fun if I told you?” the figure laughed, lightly punching him in the shoulder.

“I don’t want it to be fun”

“Well that’s not very entertaining” they shook their head “Alright, off you go, you’ll figure it out. You’re pretty creative and smart afterall… or so I’ve heard” the figure teased him as they disappeared, then with a snap of fingers that seemed to come from all directions, he was back. Back in the forest. It was dark.

“3!!! 3, where are you??” 3 could hear an all too familiar voice.

He still hid, still wary… Why did 4 kiss him then? Was… Was the 2 of them being in a relationship really true? When did they get together then? The idea that this could be an elaborate prank made his heart sink. It reminded him of how in school no one really wanted him like that, and when he was asked out, it was for a joke or a bit.

He shook his head, he did not have time for this.

He snuck around 4, as best as he could, avoiding him and finding his way back to his cafe.

He entered his cafe, the light illuminating inside standing in contrast to the outside. His current situation felt similar to it. He looked around the cafe, it was mainly the same… just with a few different touches. He had pictures of his friends on the wall, and his employee of the month wasn’t Eggdog… it was 4. He was working here? Since when? Well, he worked there once but then 3… sort of got the hang of it. At least he thought. It got hard over time, which was… pretty prominent on his mind. It felt weird seeing his cafe doing well. Though it was nice, it filled him with warmth he had been missing. This was nice.

He went back to his room, also looking around more clearly now. He found his notebook. He started flipping through it… It looked different from how he remembered it. His doodles, his thoughts seemed to easily soften on 4. He found ideas on how he should confess to him, with silly sketches to accompany them. He would lie if he said he didn’t think about stuff like this but he didn’t remember actually drawing these. He was never… that open. But he knew, these were true. More true than he could ever bare. He felt tears again. He yearned for this so much. He needed this kind of honesty in his life. It kind of made him feel nice. Although he still couldn’t shake off the oddness… maybe it was just the fact that he couldn’t remember, for some reason. That must be it.

As he flipped through the notebook, a strip of photos slipped out, one you would get in a photobooth. It had him and 4, being happy, being close… in one 3 pulled him in for a kiss and… 4 looked so content, just the image sent 3’s brain to a different world. He felt so flustered. He put it back into the notebook and put it down. The evidence around truly suggested that he was remembering things wrong. Since… this would be a lot of effort just to fool him.

He went back out to the cafe, running into 4. 4 looked worried but he was glad to see him.

“Hey, you’re back” 4 spoke softly, clearly being careful. 3’s heart melted with how careful 4 was clearly being. He was so in love.

“Yeah… I’m sorry, 4… I’m sorry I did… all that”

4 chuckled.

“It’s not everyday my partner runs off crying so yeah… yeah I got worried… What’s up?”

“I… well, promise not to freak out?”

“Of course, I won’t!”

“I… don’t remember too much, as I found out”

4 blinked, not sure how to react.

“As you found out?”

“Yeah… I don’t… I don’t remember being in a relationship or… hiring you for real” 3 chuckled, looking anywhere but to 4.

“Oh, uhm” 4 looked down at his feet, trying to think “Do you… mind it then?”

“No… I…” 3 sighed, knowing the truth and know he had to speak the truth “Even without remembering, I know that I love you”

4 smiled, finding it lightly amusing how red 3’s face became over this.

“You really don’t remember… It’s been so long since I saw you so flustered”

“Sorry-”

“No no. I missed it” 4 walked close to 3, then wrapped his arm around his waist “And I love you either way too”

3 felt so happy hearing these words. It felt so weird. It felt so weird for him to be this vulnerable but he never felt so great. It was hard, his body was fighting him but he never wanted something this badly. He leaned into 4’s touch, seeing 4 smile at that only made him feel even more flustered.

“Now you’re just too cute” 4 joked and booped 3’s nose. 3 giggled, he was just too lovestruck. Then 3 remembered something.

“Hey, 4” 3 started, 4 looked at him curiously “I… got this receipt”

He handed 4 the receipt he was given by the stranger figure back in that void.

4 stared at it for a bit before recognition showed in his eyes.

“Hey, this is from our first date” his smile was comfortingly warm “It was at this one restaurant… it wasn’t too fancy but it wasn’t one of our usual places… That’s pretty special, I didn’t think I could see this again, I thought we threw it away!”

“Huh… I guess not”

“Where did you get this?”

3 wasn’t sure if he should actually share how he got it.

“I found it while looking around after I got back”

“Huh! And I thought I was sentimental” 4 laughed, kissing 3’s cheek. 3 was so very flustered once again.

“Heeey… didn’t know I had it so I wouldn’t know!” 3 laughed right back. The vibes were nice.

4 yawned.

“Hey, what if we sleep here? If… you’re still okay sleeping beside me that is” 4 looked at him a bit sad, although obviously willing to give 3 space.

“No, I’d rather you sleep with me”

4 hugged 3, his happiness clearly showing. 3 was so so happy… 4 showing this joy just because of him. He could get addicted.

The 2 went to his bed. 4 went to take a shower, 3 stayed back, for which 4 seemed to stop for a second, shook his head then went to the bathroom. After a bit, he was back, he had shorts on with a simple but comfortable T-shirt. Maybe 3 was looking in places where he shouldn’t but he was getting quite flustered at the sight.

“What’s on your mind, 3?”

“Oh uh-” 3’s face became so red, he could match the Ugandan Knuckles.

“You know” 4 grabbed 3’s face, clearly teasing him “considering you don’t remember, I didn’t ask you to but… we actually showered together a lot. I was about to ask before but then remembered…”

3’s mind was a mess.

“I-I’ll go shower” 3 got up and hurried to shower. His face was almost unbearingly warm.

The shower calmed him down a bit. At least he could be alone with his thoughts for a bit and adjust to the fact that 4 showered with him before. That was crazy to think about… Well, guess he had a lot of things he had to get used to now.

He went back, 4 waited for him patiently. As soon as 3 reached within 4’s reach, 4 pulled him in by his waist, basically slamming him in bed. He didn’t let go afterwards.

“Not gonna lie… I didn’t know you were so clingy” 3 joked, which got 4 to chuckle.

“Only with you”

3 tried not to think about it, but the thought wouldn’t escape him.

“Only with me?”

“Yeah… you’re my…” 4 pulled enough out of the hug to face 3, very close at that “special boy”

3 didn’t even know how to react to the petname. He was screaming internally.

“Hehe..” 4 laughed “was that too much for you to handle?”

“H..Huh… no, I’m… I’m strong enough, you can’t beat me that simply!”

“I’ll believe when I’ll see it”

3 thought for a second before pulling 4 in for a kiss. 4 leaned into it so much. He loved it.

3 pulled away, feeling warm again but at least not as flustered as before. He couldn’t believe he just did that.

“Heh… nice, maybe I underestimated you” 4 spoke softly into 3’s ear. 3 felt so much.

“Yeah, you bet” 3 yawned “Hmm.. we should sleep”

4 turned the light off in the room.

“Night, love”

“Night, 4”

They both fell asleep.

—

The room looked cold. It was dark. It would’ve been fully dark if not for the bright screen. The bright screen was obstructed by the figure in front of it. They could be heard mumbling. It was hard to make out what they were saying but they didn’t sound calm, that was for sure.

There could be knocking heard, then words. It sounded like words of concern, from a familiar voice. The mumbling from the figure in front of the screen got louder, then suddenly quiet. They seemed to answer the voice outside then go out. Leaving nothing but the darkness and the screen to look at. It was hard to figure out.

“Hey, what is this?” a familiar figure came, this time the voice was clear to be heard “How did this get here…”

The figure looked at the screen confused. They had fair skin, long, gray hair, tied into a ponytail, their bangs obscuring one of their eyes. However their other eye was very visible, it was a vibrant green. They seemed to eye something curiously.

“This place looks similar to… wait” they seemed to take the thing with them. As they left the dark room, it was revealed… they were inside SMG4’s castle. It was a lot brighter outside. They looked around but saw nobody.

“I’ve… got a bad feeling” the person who took the camera spoke softly, although they weren’t in the frame anymore, even without seeing their face, you could tell they were nervous.

As they looked they seemed to spot someone.

“Hey! Who are you?” the voice was heard but not having time to look, we didn’t even get a chance to look ourselves. The person ran out of the castle, fast at that, their running making rather strange noises… as if they were… slithering metal? How is that possible?

“Oooh shiiit” their voice sounded distorted.

“HEY, GET BACK HERE!!” the same voice from before could be heard. Then everything went dark.

—

3 woke up before 4. He thought for a bit, thinking about the strange dream he had. What did that mean? Did it mean anything? The stress of figuring things out just probably got to him, that’s all! Although he couldn’t fully shake it off, something felt so… odd about it.

3 got up and went to the bathroom to wash his face. It felt nice and cold. Refreshing. He needed that. He couldn’t help but gaze at himself in the mirror, empty thoughts rushing through his head. It felt like his head was empty. Something about looking at his own reflection, staring into his own eyes captured him. As if the world was only him and nothing else. The thought put a weird taste in his mouth as he shook his head, splashing water in his face again.

He went back to 4, seeing he was still asleep. Just looking at him so peaceful… He couldn’t help but lie right back next to him, snuggling up to him. He really liked being beside him. His warmth really grounded him.

He didn’t know how long he had been there by then, just embracing 4’s closeness. He could feel 4 stir awake.

“Morning, handsome” 3 said to him in a soft voice. 4 smiled at him.

“Greater morning to you, my special man” 4 reached for 3’s face, which got rather warm. Being called special seemed to be his weakness. Like… him, special? One of a kind? Out of the ordinary? His heart melts.

“Am I really that speci-”

“Yes”

4 quickly kissed him on the lips. It may have been short but it still left quite the impression on 3.

“Hey, I was thinking” 3 started, after processing the kiss.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“What if… we went to that restaurant, where we had our first date… maybe it could help me remember or something…”

4 thought for a bit.

“Honestly, why not! I know it’s not the type of restaurant where you need the appointment so… it could work whenever really”

“That’s nice… so like maybe after we’re done with the work day?”

“I’m sure we can leave it to the others for today”

“The others?”

“Yeah! You actually employed a lot of us”

“Good… to know”

“But yeah, we could go if you wanted to”

“I’d… I’d like to yeah! I have to make it up to you for… forgetting us” 3 looked away kind of sad.

“Don’t worry!! We’ll be fine, I promise”

“Are you sure?”

“More than sure”

4 notified the others, who were more understanding than 3 thought they would be. It felt… odd. They were truly… friendly? He kind of liked it, he couldn’t lie. It felt nice to be cared about.

They both got ready, 4 was wearing something similar to his spy outfit but instead with a comfortable light jacket instead of the vest. 3 wasn’t sure what to wear for a bit but then decided to match 4. That was… such a fond memory for him. The whole heist. It may have happened due to something he wasn’t so happy about but it was nice to work together with 4 like that.

They got going, their friends waved them goodbye then got back to work. 4 used his own portal powers to open one and they were right in front of the restaurant.

“You can just do that now?” 3 looked at 4 confused.

“Oh- Yeah… you actually helped me practice”

“Huh… Heh, nice… me teaching you… I wish I remembered”

“I’ll see if I can find some stuff from that later” 4 put a hand on 3’s shoulder.

The amount that 4 cared almost made 3 nauseous. He loved it.

They went in and found a table that wasn’t taken. They had a nice time talking, 3 could truly feel it… That they’ve been there before. Everything just felt familiar in a strange way. And even through all this, it was really hard to take his eyes off of 4. The man enraptured him. 4 noticed it. He smiled but took a bit to comment on it.

“Am I that great to look at?” 4 joked

“Absolutely” 3 said without much thinking. Though it didn’t take him much as his response settled in his brain, his eyes went wide, face red… He really said that. He looked away, 4 giggled at the reaction.

Even the atmosphere of the restaurant was nice. The lights were soft enough but not too dark, overall giving the place a comforting orange glow, contrasted by the outside light. It felt like 2 different worlds. 2 different worlds…

That’s when 3 remembered the weird dream he had. He almost started forgetting about it but he could, and he… only seemed to remember more. 4 noticed the sudden change.

“Did something happen?” 4 asked, reaching out for 3’s hand, squeezing it.

3 thought for a bit… He could trust 4, he should just tell him!

“So… I had… a weird dream…”

“A weird dream?”

“Yeah it’s… kind of hard to explain… I think it took place in your castle”

4 hummed.

“Do you remember anything else?”

“Sort of… it…” 3 looked down, not wanting to face 4 “It kind of reminded me of your 100 hour livestream… The darkness with nothing but the screen…”

4 didn’t comment on it, only squeezing 3’s hand. They sat in silence for a bit as 3 calmed down.

“I’m sorry I reminded you of that, 4”

“It’s okay… It’s not your fault… That’s in the past anyways, you know? We’ve become stronger since” 4 smiled at 3 full of hope. He really needed that.

“That helps actually, thanks… It’s almost like you always know what to say”

4 chuckled then let go of 3’s hand. They continued the meal, now more peacefully

They finished and paid for the food then left. 4 seemed to be lost in thought… 3 couldn’t help but comment on that.

“Something on your mind?”

“Yeah… I was thinking about going to another special place”

“Oh? Where?”

“It’s a secret… and a long ride, if you don’t mind that”

“Can’t use portals for that?”

“It’s… unlike the places where portals could take you”

“Well! Colour me intrigued then”

4 summoned his RV he was living in before. Surprisingly, he still kept it clean. 3 was impressed.

“Hey, nice that you still keep it in good condition”

“It’s not like it became junk once I had a place to stay”

“True that but I thought you wouldn’t”

“You think I’m that lazy?”

3 just shrugged, close to chuckling at his own remark. 4 just rolled his eyes.

“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see that” 4 sat in the driver’s seat.

3 now couldn’t help but laugh as he took a seat beside 4.

He always liked looking outside the window, watching everything go past them… Just like the opportunities in his past… Times when he could’ve done better, times when he could’ve done worse. And how much different he would’ve become. These thoughts kind of scared him. The idea that there could’ve been so many opportunities where he could’ve killed 4- and where he would be now. If 4 wasn’t around, he… he didn’t know what he’d do. Sure, he has flaws, lots of it but… He cared. He cared too much.

He sighed, seemingly loud enough for 4 to hear.

“Something on your mind again?”

“Just thinking about what my life would be if you weren’t around”

“Just- That bluntly, you’re gonna say it that bluntly?” 4 looked at 3 a bit too long, he quickly looked back at the road. It seemed to really upset him.

“If it makes you feel better, I definitely wouldn’t be happy… I don’t even know where I’d be without you”

“You’re strong yourself, don’t worry… I’m sure you would be okay. So another reason I’m glad you’re here with me now” 4 calmed down then reassured 3.

“You really think so much of me…”

“It’s hard not to” 4 giggled.

“You know, back then… I always thought you thought of me as lesser”

4 frowned.

“If… that were to be the case, we wouldn’t have been rivals you know”

“Oh! I… I see what you mean”

“I’m glad”

“Still… I’m sorry I tried to kill you before… and tried to take over your channel…”

“And I’m sorry I’ve ruined your dreams a lot! See, we both did bad things! Don’t worry”

“Huh… When… when you put it that way”

“It changes everything”

“You’re stealing my words now?”

“No! Well… yeah. You said the exact same thing when we had a heart to heart… I remember you having a bad day. And I wanted to help”

“Oh- and I’m guessing it helped.”

“It did, maybe it worked a bit too well… I think it was one of the first times I started thinking… maybe… maybe I have a chance to well- date you… That I could be good enough for you”

“You were always good enough”

4 was very flustered by that. It was hard focusing on the road.

“Well, I’m- I’m glad” he chuckled nervously.

“Didn’t think that would get you like that. Your power over me weakens” 3 imitated an evil laugh over his silly revelation. 4 could only chuckle.

“Tch, well maybe, but I have tricks up my sleeve… and other places, things you’re not ready for”

“Other… places?”

“I’m not going to just tell you! I gotta keep you on your toes after all”

“Unfair honestly, considering my state of not remembering much”

“Yeah yeah, don’t care, didn’t ask plus I’m a bit of a troll”

“Wow!! Rude! Guess we are still rivals, huh?”

“I just like messing with you, your reactions are amusing”

“Amusing?”

“They make me love you even more”

“H… Huh… you… you” 3 was struggling “You’re…” he was stumped. There was just no way he could counter that. If they were to be like what he remembered… Oh, they would fight now. But things were different.

“See? Tricks up my sleeve”

“Yeah… yeah… you are… so gay”

“Kind of, yeah, took you long enough to figure it out”

“Did it actually?”

“Yeah.. honestly I wasn’t sure myself. Feelings can be… odd”

“I get that… feelings will do that. I should know”

“Cuz our rivalry made you gay?”

“Hmmm” 3 thought for a bit “I think it’s the other way around”

“Maybe, I didn’t think too much about it then”

“Yeah, your mind only had place for memes”

“Hey now! It has space for my friends and you as well now. And the memes, I would never abandon the memes”

“Do… Do I get a special space?” 3 asked softly, you could hear him almost plead for that special space.

“The most special of them all” 4 teased 3, who in turn giggled about it. My man… His once-cold heart was like a cup of tea now, so warm, so sweet… Who knew a man could butter him up so much?

They spent the rest of the road relatively similarly, with some playful words to get reactions out of the other. It was nice… Although the day was getting long by then. The sun was setting. 4 yawned.

“Hey, we’ve been going for a while now” 4 said, looking tired as all hell.

“Yeah, should we rest for a bit?”

“Yeah… a nap in your arms would be nice right now”

“Wow, in my arms specifically?”

“Don’t you want to rest as well?”

“I do I do- I was just playing”

“Well, I was almost planning to just nap by myself then”

“No no- I want to join, I want to join, okay?”

“You’re clingy”

“You love it”

“You’ve got a point”

The 2 took off their shoes and jackets, putting them aside, then got on 4’s rather tiny bed.

“I’m gonna have to press you in there if I don’t want to fall off” 3 commented.

“Feel free to, I can’t object to being pressed”

3 raised an eyebrow at 4 but decided to shrug it off. He was not ready for that conversation right now. It didn’t take long for them to fall asleep.

It was dark. All dark again. A darkness he was rather familiar with at this point. 3 got up and looked around.

“What is it now?”

“Um-” 3 heard a familiar voice.

“You-”

“Hiiiiii, how are you, SMG3?”

“I’ve… never been this good honestly, thanks for asking”

“Yeeeaaah…” they were clearly nervous about something.

“... Is… something wrong?”

“Nooo, what makes you ask that, nothing is wrong!!”

“So… what am I here for this time then? Last time you gave me the receipt… and it came pretty handy! Thanks for that. I had such a great day because of it”

“Yeeeeaaah so… you don’t mind if I um- make them vote again on something-”

“I… I don’t really care? Just don’t let it interfere with my plans with 4. I wonder where he’s taking me”

“Yeah yeah yeah!! Uh-”

“I’ve… I’ve been wondering… what’s your name?”

The figure proceeded to stare into 3’s eyes, seemingly frozen. He never really paid attention to it, but although one of their eyes is obscure by their bangs… they have really bright green eyes. Like… the person in his ‘dream’...

“Wh… What are you?” 3 further questioned.

“I’m- I’m… you can call me Annie, I usually… go by that name in non business settings”

“Non… business settings?”

“Yes”

“Didn’t take you for a business person…You’re dressed pretty casual”

Sure enough, the combination of their comfy looking purple scarf, their white tanktop which was tucked into kind of fancy dark green flare dresspants. It was… actually a rather odd look. How did 3 not realise this before?

“I-... I do business while comfortable-”

“Sure thing”

3 chuckled at the odd behaviour. It was strikingly different from last time he saw them.

“Anyways… I… I’ve got to let them choose between things again… It is… uh… part of the story”

“Story?”

“Yeah- we’re basically playing choose your adventure right now”

“Oh… OH??? WHAT?? The hell you mean choose your adventure??”

“Yeah! I don’t know how you got here, I was just told to moderate it. They… can’t choose for you to die for example!”

“Well they better fucking not!!”

“Okay um, I’ll present them with their choices now! You… still can’t see them. It’s part of the rules that even I’m not allowed to break”

“Bummer”

“Please… Choose wisely”

They manifest 2 items.

The first one was… Nothing? It was literally nothing.

The second one was an envelope, it was a bit crumpled but it was still sealed. Presumably the person who put their letter in there struggled with it a little. Skill issue or something like that.

#smg34 #smg4 oc #yeah they count as such! I made them as an smg4 oc #maybe when I feel it I might make a silly meet the oc post w them #maybe after I'm done w the fic #SMG3's Interactive Adventure

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danielfosseyart · 3 months

Text

Daniel Watches She-Ra & The Princesses Of Power

-S1E1- 'The Sword Part 1'

Today's She-Ra Watch Art: This shitty Glimmer doodle.

Look I promise they won't all be garbage ;-; I promise

Okay I wanna preface: Not every post is gonna be this detailed, I didn't even intend to go on this long with just one episode but I lost track of time. Some posts I'll be short & sweet. Some I'll be long winded to a comical degree. Depends on my feeling.

I think I'll just keep it to one paragraph per episode, & only pull out the long rambles when I finish a season. I think that'll work. Yeah.

Okay so I have no idea who any of these people are because I literally just started but one of these guys is a lizard. I'm a huge sucker for lizard people in anything ever so I immediately like this fucker. He's a lizard, that is all I need. He's just instantly cool because lizards are fucking rad as hell dude.

So Cat-Ra speaks, that first fucking line of hers.

The fucking "Hey Adora"

The first fucking thing I said to myself, out loud, was the immediate reaction I had to that line: "Oh so they're gay."

I don't know if it's like canon or not but one of the things I know about this show is people ship them a lot. I have no idea if that's actually like a canon thing in the show or not but I've seen a lot of fanart of them so I know people at the very least WANT them to kiss or hold hands or get married & buy a house in the suburbs & raise like 5 kids & watch Shrek on VHS & talk about doing their taxes or whatever idk.

That being an actual thing in the show itself? Uh I guess I'll see what happens so who the fuck knows man. Maybe they just explode idk.

But like....dude. DUDE. The fucking way Cat-Ra said it was just....

SO fucking extra like that immediately felt fruity to me. I'm already getting that vibe from her. On top of that, the way her & Adora continue to interact in the episode also give off a very distinct vibe, a rather, ahem, 'fruity' vibe. I think I'm already getting the idea of why this ship is popular. I do believe I see the vision.

Also, quick tangent, I LOVE the way the animators animated Cat-Ra like an actual cat. Her hair getting puffed up when she's agitated, her ears moving to reflect her mood. Her eyes dilating like how cat eyes actually do. THEY EVEN ALSO MADE HER PURR LIKE AN ACTUAL CAT, LIKE SHE AUDIBLY CAN BE HEARD PURRING. THAT'S SUCH AN ADORABLE DETAIL & IT MAKES HER IMMEDIATLEY ENDEARING AS FUCK.

Also I guess it makes sense Cat-Ra would be into women, yeah?

Because it makes sense that CAT-Ra would be interested in PUSSY.

(Please Laugh) (I'm desperate please think I'm funny I need this)

Now moving on, let me talk about this BITCH.

One. Compared to the original Shadow Weaver, they sure did make her a way more intimidating villain.

Two. FUCK THIS BITCH??????

THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU FUCKING BITCHY, INKBLOT LOOKING, WACKY WAVING TUBE MAN HAIR HAVING, WIZARD-WANNABE MOTHERFUCKER? LITERALLY SHUT UP

+ NO ONE CARES & ALSO YOU SMELL BAD

+ YOU LOOK LIKE A BOOTLEG ERMAC

+ YOU'RE MEAN TO CAT-RA, I MEAN HONESTLY, WHO THE FUCK JUST BULLIES A CAT?

IMAGINE BULLYING A FUCKING CAT. FUCK THIS BITCH.

I DO NOT CARE FOR THIS WOMAN.

HER SMUG AURA MOCKS ME.

Hi so I immediately love you?? Like instantly my favorite character just from the design alone. Glimmer is so real honestly.

I also like Bow, like, Bow is just so fucking cool & nice? He's such a real one, I wanna be best friends with him & hang out he's just so lovable like he's just awesome. I love this man immediately. He deserves all the good in the world actually.

Also holy shit the contrast between Bow in the original show vs this reboot design.

It's funny, the original design WAY more gay than the new one.

The new one that a lot of people (and by people I mean homophobic douchenozzles.) complained about, the design for Bow in this supposedly 'woke tumblr sjw cartoon' has a design that is far less homoerotic in it's design & feel.

The original Bow just outright looks like a fucking gay pornstar.

He's got the trademark 'Gay Porno Mustache™' & everything.

Okay so there's a magic sword or something, etc.

They mentioned Eternia.

Okay so, one of the reasons the original she-ra was lame as fuck compared to He-Man? No Skeletor.

Hordak & literally all the villains in the original show suck ass.

They fucking suck. Hordak is just Skeletor but boring & shitty.

Why the FUCK did they not take the oppurtunity to replace Hordak with Skeletor? You don't even need to add He-Man, I'm fine with that.

But You could have just taken She-Ra & added a better villain because Skeletor fucking rules. He calls people boobs. That's fucking awesome & cool. WHERE IS HE? WHERE THE FUCK IS SKELETOR? LOOK SHOW. HORDAK WAS FUCKING LAME AS FUCK.

SO IF THIS REBOOT IS GOING TO CONVINCE ME THAT HORDAK IS IN ANY WAY A LEGITIMATELY COOL VILLAIN, THEN THEY BETTER FUCKING PULL OUT ALL THE STOPS BECAUSE IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT TO CONVINCE ME THAT THEY WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF JUST USING SKELETOR INSTEAD. LIKE, YOU BETTER FUCKING IMPRESS ME BECAUSE OTHERWISE, THE LACK OF SKELETOR IS GONNA BE A HUGE FLAW THAT YOU CANNOT OVERLOOK.

I mean, so far they managed to make me actually LIKE Cat-Ra, & the original Cat-Ra fucking sucks. Shadow Weaver sucked & so far at least this reboot Shadow Weaver is actually intimidating. But man, you better fuckin' impress me show, because the lack of Skeletor is felt deep within my soul.

OH wait hold on.

Okay I see why everyone said this show is gay now.

Anyways I didn't mean to ramble on this long about the show in just one episode, I promise this is gonna be a rare occurrence. I think from now on, I'll keep it shortened to just one paragraph per post. I'll only pull out these long posts when I finish a season or something.

Anyways uh:

-Glimmer is the best

-I'm sorry but I'm not over the skeletor thing WHY DID YOU NOT USE HIM HE WAS RIGHT THERE-

#daniel watches she ra #daniel fossey #first time watch #she ra season 1 #she ra and the princesses of power #daniel fossey art #she ra #she ra fanart #she ra adora #she ra spop #spop #shadow weaver #adora #gecky #artwork #watch along

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stevie-petey · 3 months

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hiiiiiiiii honey <3 could we get a blurb about bug telling steve about jonathan’s outburst towards her after he took the pictures of nancy and steve’s reaction to learning about it???? it would be so so appreciated by me <3 you’re the best ever <3 MWAH

(i am being held against my will to write this jonathan sweetie im so sorry) (i love u val) (u are evil)

i know this isnt necessarily what u MEANT but ,,, ive been dying to expand upon bugs kindness and how it may seem annoying and pathetic, but its hers ! its her kindness !!!

enjoy <3

"no way you guys havent wanted to strangle each other at least once." steve remarks one day as he watches you and jonathan work side by side at the cash register.

jonathan had been bored today and decided to join you and steve at work, something that you're very happy about, honestly.

"oh, ive definitely wanted to strangle jonathan," you say, writing down a new shipment receipt while the boy next to you doodles.

steve rolls his eyes. "old married couple squabbling doesnt count. im talking, like, full on betrayal and hurt here. you guys are always so... you, and it has to be an act."

jonathan snorts. "shouldve seen the fights we had last year. surprised y/n didnt kill me with her bare hands."

"i dont believe you."

"no, hes right." you look up at steve. "he threw a jacket at my face last year and then told me we werent family the night he took those pictures of nancy. then cried in my arms like a day later."

steve stares at you, shocked.

"i also then slept in nancys bed and lied about it. and tried leaving you behind a few times."

"that you did," you flick jonathans ear, causing him to wince in pain. "you deserved that."

"i did."

during this entire exchange, steve hasnt said a single word. hes still stunned, baffled by the fact that jonathan could be so cruel to someone so wonderful.

"wait a second," he looks between you and jonathan. "and youre still friends?"

"yeah." you both say at the same time.

steve cant fucking believe it. you do anything and everything for jonathan, that much is obvious, and sure. steve has seen jonathan do small acts of kindness towards you, devote the same back, but to throw a jacket at you and belittle you? and now here he is, joking about it alongside you. as if it was all okay in the end.

"youre too nice sometimes, y/n." the words leave steves lips before he can stop them. once he realizes what hes said, he looks up at jonathan and panics. "sorry, man. im sure you guys talked it out and... yeah."

jonathan shrugs. "no, youre right. she is and i was dick."

"im right here, you know."

steve winces. "sorry."

"its fine, honestly." you go back to scribbling shipment orders. "i am indeed too nice, but i dont ever really see the point in holding a grudge? i mean, jonathan apologized and i understood the stress he was under. sure, it didnt erase all the hurt he caused, but after almost dying immediately after being mad at him for not including me in something... i dont know. it felt silly to hold onto that anger after. childish, even."

jonathan and steve share a look, for once both seeming to think the same thing.

shes too good.

you hate that they do this. you hate that people view your kindness as a weakness. after the hell youve been through, long before monsters even came to hawkins, youve learned the hard way just how rare kindness is.

now you try to be kind to everything and everyone, no matter what it may cost you.

the kindness is yours, no one elses.

and if that makes you weak, then at least it made you better.

you tear two pieces paper from your notebook, scrunch them up into balls, and then throw them at steve and jonathan. "stop pitying me. im kind and i love that aspect of myself. i dont care if it makes me vulnerable or pathetic. its a piece of me, and i wouldnt change it. if you dont like it, then that belittles me even more than emotional outbursts ever could."

jonathan sighs. "youre right, bug. youre a very kind and lovely person and its what makes you a joy to be around, paper balls and all."

steve plays along. "definitely a better super power than spider-man, dare i say."

"okay, lets not get ahead of ourselves now," you giggle, appreciative of both the boys. they may not understand or like the way you view the world, but theyre at least trying.

its all you could ask for.

even if steve later on that day pulls you aside to whisper, "i think i can kick jonathans ass this time, if you ever need it."

and its enough.

#southelroy #ask #come home blurb #set in between seasons 1 and 2 #m speaks #m's writing #bug lore #wdtai insight #bug is the quote #and so i try to be kind to everything i see #and in everything i see #i see him #thats bug #and its what makes her so beautiful

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