#I haven't been able to stop thinking about him all week help girl | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

literaila · 3 months

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keeping secrets

gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary: you and satoru avoid each other

warnings: actual fighting, sad everyone, hurt/little comfort (sorry)

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year four.

"did megumi give you a permission slip?" you ask satoru, leaning against the side of the couch, peeking at his phone. "it's for a field trip, but i haven't seen it. he says he set it on the counter."

satoru glances at you. then back, and shakes his head.

"he didn't give you anything to sign?"

"not recently."

you sigh. "i don't think he lost it."

satoru's lip quirks. "you think i'm hiding it?"

"i don't know. did you accidentally eat it?"

his eyes roll. "i have better taste than that."

"well, can you help me look for it?"

satoru sighs, head hanging back for a moment, then he throws his phone down, groaning as he stands up. after he stretches, he half-heartedly moves a pillow, pretending to look under it.

you snort.

but satoru doesn't look back at you, and moves to the table, to look at the stack of papers there.

and, admittedly, things have been a bit off.

you tried to ignore it at first--ignore the way satoru avoided your eyes, or kept himself five feet away from you at all times. you tried to pretend that it wasn't happening. that he wasn't giving you short responses, or only joking with you in dire moments (like when something you say goes over both of the kid's heads and they stare at you weirdly).

honestly, you hadn't even noticed anything was wrong until you'd realized that it'd been a week since he fell asleep with you. since he even bothered to come out of his room after putting the kids to bed. a week since he tried to squeeze you to death, or grossly kissed your cheek.

and... it shouldn't be weird.

no rule says that he has to spend a specific amount of time with you, or cuddle in your bed, or smile at you, or... do anything that your best friend probably shouldnt do.

but it's weird.

it's strange because your relationship with satoru has stayed relatively consistent, an upward slope for the past six years. you've grown closer, but never farther.

and, in the depths of your mind, usually when you're lying awake at night, you recognize that there's one single moment when it switched. that everything changed a specific morning, and you haven't been able to rewind it. to take it all back.

and you could just blame the alcohol for your confession, you probably should.

but then you'd also have to blame your sixteen-year-old self, the girl who'd been attracted to satoru in the first place. the eighteen-year-old who agreed to tie her life to his and take in the kids, or you now, still cursing yourself for falling in love with him.

it's not like satoru made you.

if intoxication is to blame, so is your heart, your soul, for starting all of this in the first place.

you'd decided to not blame anything at all, in the end. everything's fine.

"find anything?" you ask him, a bit cold in the room, feeling that same tension that's been there. those unspoken words, infinite amounts of distance.

you try to ignore it, really.

"just the receipt for tsumiki's violin."

"tsumiki's what?" you ask, blinking at him.

"i didn't tell you about that?"

"satoru, you can't just buy them things on a whim--"

he holds a hand up, stopping you. "she said it was for school," he says, giving you a quick grin. "plus, she's pretty good."

"there's no way she's good."

"you'll see," he says, "when we go to her recital."

"what?"

satoru shrugs, then he turns around, organizing the piles of papers into neat stacks. it almost makes you want to check him for a spider bite, a fever, remnants of poison. no way your satoru is doing that.

not that he's yours. he hasn't been yours in years, hasn't been your anything ever.

"oh, here," he says, eventually, handing you a paper which he already signed--of course--and shaking his head. "museums," he grumbles.

but he doesn't give you the chance to respond, turning to walk down the hall--towards his room--before you can even chide him for forgetting about it.

so, yeah. things are fine.

"where's gojo?" megumi asks, as the two of you walk through the door.

the house is empty without satoru there. colder, dimmer. and, of course, there's no one to irritate the boy right when he walks in.

you try not to wince at the question, or spiral into your own question of 'where's gojo?'

"uh," you lock the door, then unlock it. then lock it again. "he's on another job."

"again?"

you give megumi a bland smile, taking his backpack from him. "guess they think he needs more practice," you say, trying to tease.

it falls flat.

"did he get in trouble?"

"i don't know," you shrug. "probably."

honestly, it's not like you would know anyway. satoru doesn't tell you anything these days.

it's probably what bothers you the most, because if he's not saying anything, then neither can you. you can't ask him what he thinks about tsumiki's new friend, or if megumi should be eating more, or if you're just making everything up, probably going insane--

"when's he going to be back?"

"he said probably tomorrow. maybe the day after if it takes longer. i can't remember where they sent him..."

megumi looks mischievous. his eyes are bright. "so we can make those miso brownies? since he's gone?"

you laugh, ruffling his hair. "sure, when tsumiki gets home."

he nods, satisfied, and turns around. then he looks back at you, eyes trailing over your expression.

megumi looks at you quizzically, like he knows something you don't. "do you miss him?"

you roll your eyes. "do you miss him, megumi?"

he doesn't even think about it. "true," he says, then walks into the kitchen, grabbing something from the fridge.

maybe you miss him, you think, but only a little bit. it's not like he's been gone long.

just, you know, forever.

"hey," you lean against the desk in the office. satoru must be filling out a report, which should make you blink twice, but really it's him being out in the open that surprises you.

most days he goes to hide in his room. he locks his door and makes sure that you wouldn't dare to walk through. that you have no means to interrupt his solitude.

"oh, hey," satoru answers, not bothering to look up at you. his voice is low, familiar, and creates goosebumps on your skin.

seriously, why is it so cold in this house?

"i'm surprised those haven't gone missing yet," you gesture toward the papers, trying to be casual.

he snorts. "yaga said that if i lost them again, i was fired."

"he said that two years ago."

satoru nods, still scribbling. you want more than anything to just see his eyes for a moment, for him to look at you and grin like you're used to.

but you know he won't, so you tap your fingers against the desk. "do you have a second?"

"sure. what's up? megumi do something?"

"no, the kids are fine, i, um--" you pause. it feels ridiculous to have to ask him this, to not know the answer. it feels ridiculous to be nervous around satoru. you haven't felt anxious, or worried about asking him anything since you were sixteen and realized that it didn't matter. "shoko texted me about that work 'meeting' that's happening on friday. do you want to go to that? i just need to know so i can tell her..."

"meeting?"

your smile is teasing, not that he's looking. "i think she meant party."

"on friday?"

"yeah. she said that the booze is free, and i think nanami's going, so i thought..." you hint, not even sure what you mean.

i thought we could talk. i thought we could go together and maybe everything would go back to normal. i thought that we were friends, if anything, and that you cared about me--

satoru hums. "what about the kids?"

"tsumiki has a birthday party that night, and megumi likes the sitter from last time," you wince at your accidental mention of that night. "or he can come, i guess, but he'd probably hate it."

satoru snorts, nodding in agreement. you watch his hands freeze, then resume.

he's thinking the same things you are, you know. he's thinking about how stupid you are, how ridiculous it is to imagine him being in love with you, caring about who you are or how you feel.

you just know it.

"so..." you whisper, after a second. "do you want to go?"

you feel like you're standing on uneven ground. how can this be the only real conversation you've had with satoru this week?

how can you miss him this much when he's literally right there?

"i don't--" satoru makes a face, finally looking toward you. he sets down the pen. "i don't think so. but you can go and i can stay here with megumi," he suggests easily like he's not rejecting you. "we can have a guy's night."

"megumi hates guy's nights."

satoru has a cheeky grin on, but it's half-hearted. barely there.

like a glimpse of him in a peephole, a moment where he's not hiding completely from you.

he doesn't say anything, though. he doesn't even bother to come up with a better excuse.

it's clear as day that he just doesn't want to hang out with you, even in a crowd of people.

"that's okay," you hum, eventually, trying to keep your voice steady. "i don't really--"

"no, you should go. you haven't seen nanami in a while. you can have a night out," he says genuinely, but it sounds more like i need a break from you.

"yeah," you try to laugh. "i--um, okay. if you're sure."

he nods, looking away again. he hasn't touched you in weeks. your skin is almost molding, going completely stale. "i'm sure. we'll order dinner, so you don't have to worry about the brat complaining."

"okay."

"okay," satoru answers, but it doesn't mean anything.

and it's not okay.

the two of them walk through the door, and megumi looks... pleasant. he's got the makings of a smile on his face, a little jump in his step.

it's one of the only times you've seen him look like the ten-year-old he is, instead of someone who's concerned about economic collapse.

it makes you smile a bit, even if just the sight of satoru sends pangs down your chest.

"hey," you say, hand on his head as he lingers by you, eyes meeting yours in greeting. you look to satoru, who's pretending to wipe away a smudge on his glasses. "where were you guys?"

"we were--"

"gojo took me to that old hospital by my school," megumi says, "there were cursed spirits hanging outside. he let me and my divine dogs deal with them," he says this almost excitedly--as excited as megumi gets--and you can see it in his eyes. that little twinkle of pride.

your eyes widen, but you smile, trying to be genuine. it's difficult because you've been lying for weeks. "really?" you ask, trying not to look over at satoru accusingly. "how'd it go?"

"good," megumi, moves to the sink, washing his hands. "they're getting better at scenting them out. it didn't take long."

"that's great."

"megumi didn't need any of my help," satoru adds, giving you a short glance. "he's got good intuition."

megumi looks at satoru with a glare in his eyes, but you can tell that he appreciates the compliment.

you can tell that he's completely fine with this, that the two of them are going to act like it's normal, but you can't.

you try to ignore it when megumi looks between you and satoru, a slight furrow in his brows. he knows something wrong, you know. but you're not going to admit that.

you swallow. "do you have any homework you need to finish, megs?"

"uh..." he pauses. "i think so. reading?"

you smile, hand on his back as you lead him out of the room. "okay, how about you go work on that? i need to talk to satoru real quick."

he nods immediately, looking eager to leave--both the room and the tension.

as soon as he's gone, you turn to satoru, narrowed eyes as you observe him. he's already smiling because he knows that he's in trouble. because he knows that you're angry.

because, even if he hasn't actually spoken to you in weeks, satoru has always read you so well. he's always known what you're going to say before you say it.

but you can't care about it. it doesn't mean anything to him.

“you can’t do that,” you say, almost whispering. “not without asking me.”

“i knew you’d say no.”

you laugh, looking away from him. “exactly.”

“he’s fine,” satoru reassures. he shrugs, because why should he care about your concern? “he did good, and there’s not a scratch on him. i’m sorry for not telling you but—“

“no buts, satoru. you can’t take megumi out on missions like he’s a student. he’s not. and you definitely can’t do it without even telling me," there's a burning in your chest. your head is clouded over with anger.

just looking at him--at his ridiculous smile and stupid perfect face--makes you clench your fists.

how can he stand there and act like you're a team?

“it’s not a big deal. i was there the whole time—and he didn’t need me.”

“i don’t care!”

satoru rolls his eyes, his arms crossed. “i think you’re overreacting.”

“i’m not," you say, trying to get him to look at you--actually look--but he won't. it makes your chest hurt even more. "you’re not telling me things—fine, whatever, keep whatever secrets you want, gojo. don't bother talking to me. but you can’t keep secrets from me about the kids.”

“secrets? i’m not—“

you shake your head, hands in the air, trying to clear all of it away. you want the past month to go away, the past six years. “megumi’s just a kid. he’s ten. he can’t be going on missions, not until he’s ready.”

“i think i’ve already proved how ready he is.”

“well, maybe i'm not ready. he’s a kid.”

“yeah,” satoru says, obviously. he scoffs. “yeah, he’s a kid. but he’s also a jujutsu sorcerer. you can’t separate the two.”

his voice is all-knowing and his stance is firm. you know that you won't convince him otherwise--know that he's right, to some degree, but this isn't about megumi.

this isn't about cursed spirits or jujutsu.

“yes, you can," you say, clenching your jaw. "he doesn’t need to be seeing that shit right now. not until he decides he wants to. practice his technique with him all you want, but you can’t just take him to exorcise a curse with you.”

“like i said, he’s fine.”

“it’s not about that! it’s about you doing something reckless—again—and acting like there aren’t any consequences to your decisions. he’s my son,” you hiss, “he shouldn’t be going anywhere i don’t know about. you shouldn’t be making decisions about him behind my back.”

you shouldn't be pushing me away, you shouldn't be ruining this--

“so you want to lock him up here?" satoru asks, laughing at you. his teeth are sharp and he is still. "you want to take away his ability to defend himself?”

you scoff. “are you kidding? you think me saying i don’t want you to get him killed is equal to me—“

“he was fine. if anything—anything—had been there that megumi couldn’t handle, i would’ve taken care of it. i wasn't going to let anyone touch him. that’s why i was there! and he didn’t even need me," he's boasting, swearing to you--you can feel it as he rolls his eyes at you.

“you know what he needs, satoru? he needs you to treat him like he’s a little boy and not some experiment for you to play with.”

“i would never—“

you cut him off, “bringing him out into the open, where anyone could see him, could hurt him, and making him deal with your cursed spirit is not okay.”

“i didn’t make him deal with anything," satoru swears, chin up.

you snort. the two of you are standing in front of each other, arms crossed, head guarded. your muscles are tense like something is about to attack you. “oh, so he asked you to go?”

“well, no, but—“

“then you made him! you put him up against a monster and treated him like a student, like a 16-year-old, and not your son.”

the words feel nice to say. some version of the truth that's much better than whatever this version is. if satoru won't talk to you, you'll talk for him.

you'll make every assumption, every bad perception (because he's supposed to keep you from worrying, he's supposed to be there to calm you down, to save you from that spiraling). but if he's not going to try, neither will you.

satoru’s eyes grow hard. “what?”

“why can’t you just let him be a kid? why do you have to push him into these things—“

“we talked with megumi about who he is,” satoru grinds, “he knows about the privilege of his strength, and the fact that he has to work to use it—“

“a ten-year-old shouldn’t have to work for anything!”

he laughs at you. you can't see his eyes, but you watch his face as he tries to hide his expression, trying to keep his voice low. the kids are still in the house, so you shouldn't be yelling. but you can't bring it in yourself to really care.

“what do you think the point of him living here was? why do you think we took him in?”

you gape at him. “are you kidding?” you ask. “are you serious? we took him, and tsumiki, in because you’re responsible for killing their father! because they didn’t have anyone else, and that’s your fault.”

“you think i don’t know that?”

“well, i thought you did," you say, stepping away from him. some part of you wants to push him out, make him leave. the other part desperately wants him to stay--to say he's sorry. "but you just said that the only reason megumi is here is so you can teach him! when i agreed to this i thought you were facing the consequences of your actions, doing the right thing for those kids because you could. i thought you wanted to take care of them! to keep them away from our awful, messed up world.”

satoru is staring at you with his jaw clenched.

you continue, without consideration for the consequences of your words. “i didn’t think that you only wanted to keep megumi here so you could train him, like a dog.”

“that’s not what i said.”

you shake your head, a bitter smile on your face. “well it’s what you meant, and clearly you have no regard for his feelings or the way that curses might affect him—“

“don’t act like i did it just to mess with him," he interrupts, harshly. "it’s not a joke. i want him to be strong, i want him to be able to take care of himself—“

“and i want him to have a dad who isn’t so selfish!”

“what?”

“did you even think about it? what about the nightmares he’s going to have?" you wonder, rhetorically. "what about the fact that he’s different—that he’s already struggling to relate to other kids in school? what about him, satoru? why is it only about you?”

what about me? you don't say.

“i didn’t bring him for me—“

“you want a replacement. you want someone else to deal with everything, while you sit back and watch. i know what you’re trying to do—“

“really?" he points at you, the other hand clenched in the air. he's laughing again. "you can read my mind? you’ve already been let in on my plans—“

“don’t you wish that you’d had the opportunity to be just a kid?” you demand. “don’t you want that for megumi?”

he shrugs. “sure. but it’s never going to happen.”

“well, clearly, because you won’t let it.”

“he gets to be a kid every day. god forbid i take him to see one curse, to understand how to use his powers, to protect himself, and you treat me like i wanted to kill him.”

you laugh. your mind is a minefield, and everything he says ruins another part of it.

all you can think about is him, him as a teenager, him with you, telling satoru you love him and him having nothing left to say--

but you scoff again, shoving yourself further away from him. “do you know how many times i’ve wanted to go back to when i was ten and just got to live my life? do you know how often i think about how everything could’ve been different?”

“this isn’t about us."

“yes, it is. it is, satoru, because i didn’t get that chance and neither did you. and you just took away megumi’s chance.”

“i didn’t take anything away," he says, softly, like he's trying to convince himself.

clearly, you've struck a nerve.

“he’s never going to be able to look at the world normally, but he doesn’t need the burden of saving people before he’s even in middle school.”

“why is being strong so bad?” satoru asks you, demanding something more. why am i so bad? “why do you treat it like it’s a curse? like it’s going to hurt him?”

“look at you!” you respond. “look at suguru, and me, and shoko! look at any jujutsu sorcerer and ask them if being strong is worth it—is worth screwing your life over.”

satoru looks taken aback. he steps away from you.

“god, it’s like you think that we’re a different species," you tell him, never having felt like it's more true. "you’re human, satoru. you might be the strongest, but you’re still human, and you still have nightmares like all of the rest of us.”

he shakes his head at you.

“why do you want that for megumi? why push him into this right now?”

“i want him to be able to take care of himself. so that he doesn’t die like our colleagues, so that he doesn’t make the wrong choice like—“

he stops, his voice breaking before he can continue.

and maybe you know what this is really about, but if satoru doesn’t want to tell you how he feels, if he wants to pretend like it doesn’t matter—

fine. you will too.

“it wouldn’t make a difference. he’s already—his life is already messed up.”

satoru looks at you, his eyes ablaze. “don’t you think that if i was him, if i could’ve been stronger, if i could’ve saved all of those people—don’t you think i would do it in an instant? don’t you think i know that because i wasn’t strong enough, people died?”

this is the thing you've feared since you were eighteen, a brand new person responsible for two little lives. you've feared satoru's moral commitment since before you met him. since you saw him destroy a curse in an instant and realized he was different than everyone else.

“megumi isn’t you! he doesn’t need to be taught to take on the responsibility of everyone’s lives—“

“you can’t say that i’m selfish, that i don’t care, and then say that i care too much,” he says, shaking his head, unable to look at you.

he hasn't been able to look you in the eye in weeks.

“you’re both!" you say, almost yelling. "you’re everything. and you don’t think! you haven’t thought for a moment about what megumi might be feeling, who he might want to be—“

“and you have? what about what you want him to be?”

“i want him to be happy! i want him to grow up better than i ever did. i don’t want him chasing a bunch of cursed spirits around on the weekend like it’s a normal thing—“

“it is normal. for us, it’s normal. for him, it’s normal.”

you sigh, a weight on your chest, a burning in your throat. “well, maybe it shouldn’t be.”

you're not going to start crying now. not with satoru watching, not when he gets to know just how much you care.

satoru scoffs. “so you’d just have everyone defend themselves--"

"i don't know how you're arrogant enough to believe that you can save everyone--"

"--you’d just forget that we’re strong for a reason, that we--“

“but you’re never going to be strong enough, satoru. never.”

satoru stares at you. he doesn’t say a thing, doesn’t hesitate, and doesn’t bother to argue.

and after a moment he turns around. you reach your hand out to grab him--hold onto him and keep him here, because this isn't finished, and you're not done with him. you haven't even started.

but you run into a wall. you look down and your hand is dangling idly in front of his arm, stuck in the air.

you can't see satoru's eyes, but you can feel his heart--your heart--as it skips a beat in realization.

but then satoru shakes you off, pushes you infinitely farther away from infinity, and keeps going.

he walks out the door, slamming it shut.

you stand there for a moment, watching. you wait for the door to open again, for satoru to come back, for him to laugh--tell you that everything's fine, that it'll all be fine. that it's okay if you're angry, that he doesn't care.

but after a minute, he doesn't return.

and after another, you have to lean against the counter. your hand burns--but maybe that's just your imagination. you're pretty sure that infinity has no drawbacks, that there's no consequence for touching, for not touching satoru.

pretty sure.

but you still look over your skin, trying to see if he's left some mark. it would be nice to have some evidence of what he's done to you. you clench your fist, but the feeling doesn't go away.

and maybe it's not your hand. maybe it's your chest. maybe it's these weeks of feeling separated, feeling miles apart from him, feeling like it's all your fault that any of this has happened.

you... you can't even remember what you were arguing about.

you feel like a kid again, hiding yourself in your room just so your parents don't have to deal with you. you feel like that little girl who hid in the cupboards, trying to escape the monsters that no one else could see. you feel like that smaller, reckless version of yourself that left home at the first chance, who knew she wasn't allowed back.

are you allowed here? you wonder. is it going to happen again? are these monsters--real and fake--too much for your family to handle again?

you exhale, trying to catch your breath again. none of this feels right, normal, easy.

should you--should you call him? should you wait for him to come back?

is he going to come back?

the slam of the door is still echoing throughout the house when they creep down the hallway, making sure their footsteps are soft, but also loud enough for you to hear.

maybe you've only been standing there, waiting for satoru to turn around, for thirty seconds.

but it feels like an hour.

"mom?" a tiny voice asks, and both of them are turning around the corner, taking hesitant steps towards you.

you have to swallow. you need some water, an icepack maybe, to get rid of the burning feeling in your throat. the telltale signs that you're going to cry--that you've suffered blows to the core, and you can't backtrack now.

but you don't want to cry in front of them. you refuse to. if you didn't want to cry in front of satoru, you won't cry in front of the kids.

so you turn around, swallow again, and fill a glass of water.

you chug it down, wanting it to wash away that feeling, that ache.

you can't say anything just yet because then you'll actually fall apart.

megumi and tsumiki watch you, both of them silent as they wait for your direction. for some solution you should have.

you take a deep breath, then turn, almost faltering when you see the worried look on both of their faces, the concern in their eyes. neither of them should have to worry about this.

god, how could you forget that they were there? that they could hear everything?

how could you make another mistake?

"hey, guys," you say, clearing your throat. you want to be nonchalant, and casual, but you've never been either a day in your life.

"where did gojo go?"

"i, um," you take another sip of water, because that feeling crawls up your throat, makes itself known again. "i think he went on a walk."

"is he okay?" tsumiki asks.

"are you okay?" megumi follows.

"yeah, he's fine. he's good. i--he just needed some space, you know? um... a break."

"from us?"

your eyes widen. "no, no, no. of course not, never you guys. he's... just been busy this week. working a lot. and, i, well, he's good. we're good."

megumi leans on the counter next to you, looking at you very closely. "are you okay?" he repeats.

"i'm good, megs. it's..." you smile. "it's fine. um, did satoru get you anything to eat while you were out? i'm not sure what we've got, but i can make something if you--"

"when is he going to be back?"

you stop, sighing. you shouldn't have taught either of them how to read emotions, or how to eavesdrop. you shouldn't be speaking to anyone, or trusted with anything.

"i'm not sure, buddy. he'll be back when he's ready."

"is he going to stay out all night?" tsumiki asks, worried.

"no, i'm sure--" you stop again. "gojo will be back in time for bed, okay?"

they're both staring at you, waiting for you to say something profound, something to make it actually okay.

but you have nothing. is satoru going to come back? is he going to stay somewhere else? you know he'll exhaust himself just to avoid coming home--

this is why you shouldn't have moved in--

this is why you never should've agreed to this, allowed himself to burrow a hole in your heart, in your soul--

"hey," megumi takes a step towards you. and then, before you can blink the tears out of your eyes, reassure him that it's fine, his arms are around your waist.

he nuzzles his face into your side, squeezing tighter than you thought a little boy could.

theres only a second of this before tsumiki's on your other side, and squeezing just as hard.

your hands fall on both of their backs, and you take a breath that feels more like never breathing again. your lungs won't fill, and your chest is incomplete

but they stand there with you, and eventually, your heart begins to match theirs, and their little hands keep you together.

you can't cry, but you really want to.

satoru's entire body feels different.

he knows what it's lacking, the changes he's made in a short period of time--giving himself no time to acclimate, no pause where he slowly adapts to the differences.

he misses you.

it's been like this before--when suguru left and satoru couldn't bear to look at himself in the mirror, nonetheless you in the eyes--but it's never felt so severe.

because you're right there. you've been there every day, waking him up, making the kids breakfast, laughing when megumi bullies him, smiling at tsumiki's attempts at mediating.

you're there in the morning, in the afternoon, and every night. you're right there for him--and he can't say a word.

he doesn't want this, this thing to be real.

denial is his favorite emotion, and recently, he can't even muster the strength to go through with it.

and now, he feels even more hopeless, lacking, never ever enough.

but he walks through the door because he has nowhere else to go. he has no other home--besides the three of you.

it's dark outside when he comes back, and the door is unlocked, so he knows that you've been waiting. that you had to deal with the aftermath of shouted voices and scared children who he felt lurking behind a wall before he got the chance to think about any of it.

he needs to talk to you. satoru knows that, he really does. but he's not sure what to say.

he could apologize for tonight--could tell you that he won't make any more decisions, that he won't wreck this thing you've built--but it's not enough.

he should probably apologize for the last seven years. for letting himself grow attached to you, and then continue to hold you at arms length. he should probably apologize for being himself, for being less than he could be.

but those words feel too rotten to say aloud.

so, when he walks up to your door, waiting to feel your obvious presence--to see it, like he always does, the wall of cursed energy that you are--he feels like running away again.

you don't even need to know that he's home. satoru could go to bed, and he could probably pretend that nothing happened in the morning and you would follow along.

but he doesn't want to do that. not to you.

and he needs to see you, needs to say something before he figures it all out--should he leave, or stay? should he continue to push you away to protect you? should he tell you all of it?

it doesn't matter, he knows, because he probably won't be able to do any of it.

and for the first time in years, satoru makes sure to knock before he opens your door. just a small repetition of his knuckles, but he might as well be breaking down a tradition.

there's no answer, but he's not waiting, so he creaks the door open, looking for you immediately.

and he sees you, lying in bed.

and he sees your shoulders shaking slightly, with you curled up in the fetal position, and he can hear the sniffle before the door is all the way open.

there's no choice, he knows. he's not going to let you cry yourself to sleep without saying anything. he's not going to leave you alone.

you don't turn around, but satoru knows that you must know he's there. he walks across the floor, sitting at the edge of your bed, waiting for you to turn to him.

and yell, maybe. tell him to leave again. tell him that you don't want to look at him anymore.

but you don't move. your shaking is slightly stifled, and satoru can tell that you're trying to keep your breathing low, to keep him from noticing you cry.

it's foolish, really, because satoru hasn't missed a single detail about you since he was seventeen.

he doesn't say anything, but it's a natural reflex to tap your legs, to stand and slip off his shoes, gently pushing you off of the edge of the bed, towards the middle.

and then he's laying there, curling his limbs around yours, arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you into him.

immediately, there's a release somewhere inside of him. that yearning--that ridiculous need is finally satiated.

satoru swallows. he needs to say something, he knows, but he's not sure what. should he apologize right now? should he tell you that he hates it when you cry--that he never feels more desperate to be more than in moments like this?

should he whisper that he loves you, just to get it off his chest?

but you cough, body shuttering as you relax into him, never pushing him away. and your voice is so small when you say, "you can't leave."

satoru feels the pieces of him crack into even more.

he tries to hold you tighter, but you move in his hold, turning so that you're facing him, and you nuzzle your face into his neck--trying to hide, but making sure that he's there.

your hands cling onto him, leaving marks.

he can feel your tears against his skin, your entire body on overdrive.

"you can't leave," you repeat, voice breaking. satoru feels it against the very outline of his soul.

"okay," he says, quickly. "i won't."

"i can't lose you too."

he pales, body going still. his heart might stop for a moment. "you won't. i'm not going anywhere." he sighs. "i'm sorry."

"i can't--" you're still crying, and you begin to shake again. "i can't do this without you. i won't."

"you don't have to."

"you can't leave, satoru," you say, leaning up to meet his eyes--yours glistening with years full of hurt, a lifetime of secrets and unsaid words. "please don't leave."

"i won't," he repeats, feeling a bit desperate. what can he say to prove to you that he's not like everyone else? that he would trap you within his atoms, if he could? that he would stay in this bed, holding you, even if it meant nothing, forever?

there's nothing, he knows. nothing but the truth. but that doesn't come out--it can't, now. it's not the right time.

so instead, satoru wipes the tears from your face, even though they're replaced immediately, your breath coming in short, short bursts. he wraps his arm around your back, pulling you back to him again.

"i'm sorry," you whisper against his skin, so quietly that he can barely hear it.

"i'm not going anywhere," he answers.

and, just for tonight, it's enough.

he'll fix the rest of it tomorrow.

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whatsk-poppinhomies · 3 months

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Pairing : Han Jisung x F!Reader TW : anonymous friends to lovers type beat ; physical fighting ; reader is bullied ; angst ; fluffy ending ; Word Count : 8.9k A/N : Haven't even started writing this one yet but I know it's gonna take a bit, I hope the wait is worth it!! I hope that this is good! I kind of changed things a little bit, but I feel like it's still good... right? It has a k-drama feel to it... Not proof read!! Request : Anonny : Hello! If your requests are open can you write something for skz han? Where han is a popular person that everyone likes and he doesn't know the identity of reader but they are able to have really nice conversations. He thinks he found the person he's been talking to and starts dating them and reader agrees to help the person with talking to him. But han actually starts talking to reader and realizes that they were the person he fell in love with. Reader didn't tell him their true identity bc they were told he could never love someone like them. I hope that makes sense.

An anonymous chat room… What could possibly go wrong? It had started as a way for other students to get help with certain subjects without the judgment of their peers over not knowing enough. Soon enough, like most things, it had completely lost its original reason for being made, and now it was being used for anything but studying. There were chat rooms for dissing people, chat rooms for hooking up, and then there was the more… safe chat rooms, for people that were just lonely and wanting to talk, people that were too awkward or shy to have conversations face to face. Everyone had an online identity that no one else knew about… A different persona… It was scary… But sometimes it was nice to just… Talk to someone.

JiHizzy : Hey! You online?

Your phone vibrated with the message, and you couldn’t help but smile at the familiar sound of the notification. You had been talking to him for weeks now, and it was the one part of your day that you truly looked forward to.

JustAnotherGirl : Yeah! What’s up?

JiHizzy : Finally got back to my dorm. I was trying to study for finals…

JustAnotherGirl : I’m gonna guess that didn’t work out for you?

JiHizzy : Crazily enough, I ended up at the bar instead of the library.

JustAnotherGirl : I don’t know how you could possibly get the two confused lol

JiHizzy : It’s a friday night, I don’t think anyone was at the library. Weren’t you at the bar too? It was packed.

JustAnotherGirl : Mm… Nope! I don’t really party like that, I was too busy studying for my finals.

JiHizzy : Ooh, the innocent type? I like that.

JustAnotherGirl : Are you flirting with me?

JiHizzy : I might be… You know the acronym of your username is jag… all you need is I and you’d be jagi to me.

JustAnotherGirl : That must be the alcohol talking…

JiHizzy : Not at all. You’re just my type. I really want to meet you.

JustAnotherGirl : Oh, would you look at the time? We should get some sleep! Goodnight!

While it was supposed to stay an anonymous chat room, some people were just too popular to stay hidden longer than the first week. One of those people was JiHizzy, better known as Han Jisung, the most popular guy on campus simply because of his looks. All of the girls wanted him, and all of the guys wanted to be him. He was the top of the totem pole, and that put you at the very bottom.

If the two of you were to walk past each other on campus, he wouldn’t even spare you a passing glance… But with the promise of anonymity, you were able to talk to him every night. You were able to know what it felt like to be liked by someone like him. You could never meet him though, if he found out who you really were… He’d stop talking to you immediately. You didn’t want to lose him… Even if you didn’t truly have him.

///

JiHizzy : Are you in class right now?

In the silence of the classroom, the vibration of your phone was much louder than you thought it would be. Everyone turned to look in your direction, and you quickly grabbed your phone and placed it on your lap, hoping that if another message came in, it would be silent.

JiHizzy : I know you are, you’re such a good girl… WAIT DOES THAT SOUND WEIRD!? I’M SORRY!!

JiHizzy : I was just thinking that maybe… Maybe you could tell me what class you’re in…

JiHizzy : And I could get a glimpse of you… Or who I think is you… I just want to have a face to go with the name…

You held in your sigh as you felt your phone vibrate incessantly against your lap, chewing on your bottom lip as you attempted to focus on your studies, but it seemed like he wouldn’t let up unless you responded.

JiHizzy : PLEASE!!

JustAnotherGirl : Why is it so important? I like being anonymous… I like talking to you…

JiHizzy : Because I like you, and I can’t stop thinking about you, and I want to daydream about you…

JiHizzy : But it’s kind of hard to daydream about someone if I don’t know what they look like.

JustAnotherGirl : Well, daydream about what you think I look like. It’s probably better than how I really look anyway.

JiHizzy : You’re talking like I’ll stop messaging you or stop liking you if I meet you…

JiHizzy : You don’t think I’m that kind of person… Do you?

JustAnotherGirl : I don’t know who you are… But it’s just easier like this for me…

JiHizzy : Alright alright

JiHizzy : I’m sorry if I upset you…

JiHizzy : But hey! I heard that they’re releasing an update soon where we can actually talk to each other on the phone!

JustAnotherGirl : Can’t people tell who other people are by their voice?

JiHizzy : Idk… But I want to call you when it comes out. Can we at least do that?

JustAnotherGirl : Maybe… I’ll think about it… I have to study now. So do you!

JiHizzy : Right! Okay, I’ll message you later!

He daydreamed about you… He thought about you… You wondered what this image looked like, the girl that he thought you were. You were sure that it looked nothing like you, and it was better that way. He was so popular, you didn’t want to tarnish his image if he was even seen talking with you, let alone walking beside you… although you were sure that something like that would never happen.

///

When the call feature was released, everyone was so excited. People were testing it out as soon as their apps updated… But you were dreading it. Texting guaranteed staying anonymous, but hearing someone's voice, even if they didn’t know what you looked like, a voice was a way to identify someone. Even Jisungs voice, anyone and everyone could tell it was him coming if they heard him talking. His voice was distinct, it was his and his only. You didn’t know how distinct your voice would be, and the only thing you had going for you was the fact that you didn’t talk much at all.

A time that you’d usually be counting down to now had your stomach twisted up into knots, your knees folded up against your chest as you tried to think of anything but the inevitable phone call that you knew he would ask for. “What’s got you all worked up?” Your roommate asked as she walked into your room. As if things couldn’t get any worse, she just had to be back in at a normal hour.

Of course you had gotten paired up to dorm with the most popular girl on campus, it was just another way of lifes mysterious twists and turns supposedly. She was absolutely ruthless, and while you had asked to have your room changed at the beginning of every semester, it miraculously could never be done. As if college wasn’t hard enough, having to reside with her was just added stress.

“Fine. Ignore me. I didn’t want to talk to you anyway.” She mumbled, dropping down onto the ridiculously large and disgustingly luxurious bed that took up almost the entirety of her half of the room. She was rich, of course she was, and she took every opportunity to flaunt her wealth to everyone on campus, and you were no exception, you just got the brunt of it.

“I’m gonna take a shower real quick… Do you have to use the bathroom before I get in?” You asked, keeping your head down so she didn’t look at you like the peasant that you knew she thought you were. She scoffed loudly, and out of the corner of your eye, you saw her flick her wrist in the direction of the bathroom.

JiHizzy : You awake? Don’t tell me you’re sleeping already!

JiHizzy : You haven’t been online in 3 hours! Come onnnnn!

JiHizzy : Are you ignoring me?!?!?! :(

JiHizzy : Did I do something… Say something wrong?

JiHizzy : Ahhh… Maybe you are sleeping… Okay

JiHizzy : Goodnight! Sleep well!!

You never took your phone into the bathroom with you, not just because it seemed unsanitary or unhygienic, you also couldn’t afford to potentially drop it on the tile floor and bust the screen. Maybe you should have, but again, you didn’t think that your roommate would go through your phone. You were pretty sure that she wouldn’t even touch something that belonged to you. You had never been more wrong.

The vibrating of your phone had caught her attention, and maybe if it had only gone off once she would have ignored it, but Jisung was a spam texter. “Hmm…” She hummed to herself as she snatched your phone off the nightstand, and her curiosity quickly turned to annoyance when she saw just who had been texting you. “No way… There’s no way!” She shrieked, glaring at your phone.

As the story goes, the popular guy should automatically be with the popular girl… that’s how it always goes! She wouldn’t allow something like this to happen… It just couldn’t. She was being a good person, she had to look out for Jisungs reputation, that’s what it was. Luckily everything was anonymous, you were anonymous… He wouldn’t have to be embarrassed to like you… He wouldn’t even have to know it was you.

“What are you doing?” She was still holding your phone as you walked out of the bathroom, and your stomach dropped as you thought about what she could have been doing to your phone. Why would she even have it. “Look… I don’t touch your stuff, please don’t touch mine.” You mumbled as you scurried over to grab your phone out of her hand.

“Jesus, don’t have a tantrum.” She muttered, rolling her eyes as she turned her attention back to her own phone. “Maybe you should silence your notifications before leaving your phone unattended.” Her words only worried you more, prompting you to check what she could have been talking about, and you could feel the anxiousness creeping up further and further until it had taken you over completely.

She had seen the notifications, and you’d be a fool to think that she didn’t know exactly who it was that was messaging you. Would she tell him? It would be absolutely humiliating, it would destroy you, you couldn’t imagine the way he and his friends would react to finding out that it was you who he had been talking to. Should you tell her not to say anything? “I…” No… It might make her say something. Maybe she’ll forget about it in the morning. That would be the best case scenario.

“I think Han Jisung and I would be the perfect couple, right? I mean, we’re both popular, we’re both insanely attractive! That’s why I feel so bad for him, you know? It’s not like he’d willingly go for a complete loser, but this stupid anonymous app is really getting his hopes up.” You were right there, she knew exactly what she was doing, but she still had the audacity to look over at you with the fakest smile. “Were you saying something?”

“N-No…” You stammered, pushing yourself up off your bed and heading to the door. “I’m gonna take a walk, I’ll be back later…” She didn’t say anything to you as you left, simply laughing along with the multitudes of friends that she had on call. Had she told them? Were they all laughing at you? Of course they were, she was right… Why would he want to be with someone like you? You were a nobody, a speck of dust, no… Not even that. People notice dust… you were less than that.

But why didn’t you deserve to be happy, even if that meant staying behind the safety and security of your phone screen and a basic username? Were you not allowed to have anything? Not even some sort of happiness brought by anonymous interaction? Isn’t that how everything on the internet is nowadays anyway? No one really knows each other… So why is it such a big deal if you talk to him? Why should you be shamed for doing it the way you have been? Could you not even have this one thing?

Being outside was like a breath of fresh air, at least for a moment, but those thoughts brought on by the words of your roommate were suffocating. Should you even respond to him? He thought you were sleeping already… you could tell him you had been busy… His messages have the ability to help you feel better in an instant, and you needed that now. You clicked on the notification and quickly typed in your password to open the app, and not even a second passed before your phone was vibrating in your hand.

JiHizzy : Hey! There you are!

JustAnotherGirl : Hm… Were you just sitting and waiting for me to come online?

JiHizzy : and what if I was??

JiHizzy : you know I can’t sleep without talking to you first.

JustAnotherGirl : I didn’t know that though…

JiHizzy : well now you know! :D

JiHizzy : so… the call feature came out! I want to call you! Can I?

JustAnotherGirl : uhm… I don’t know…

JiHizzy : are you in your room? Is your roommate sleeping? I can talk quiet!

JustAnotherGirl : no… no it’s not that…

JiHizzy : I want to hear your voice… please? We can talk about anything! Anything you want!

JustAnotherGirl : I guess…

In a second your phone was buzzing, Jisungs screen name front and center on your screen. What a foolish feature this is, why not just give people your phone number if you’ll just talk on the phone? What’s next? Video calling? What if…? You would never do that… You couldn’t… He wouldn’t want to see you anyway.

Your hands shook as you accepted the call and brought your phone up to your ear. “Hehe, hey! Took you a bit to answer, I thought you’d just ignore me!” His voice came with a face, one that you could perfectly envision in your mind. His smile, the creasing of his eyes as he probably laid back against his pillow, one arm tucked under his head, perfectly at ease with everything. He was so lucky and he probably didn’t even realize it.

“Oh… uh… no. I was just… trying to find somewhere to sit.” You lied, looking around at the line of streetlamps that illuminated the sidewalks that led to different buildings. “H-Hi…” You stammered, and you knew exactly why you were flustered, why you were so nervous. Jisung was practically a GOD here, and you might as well have been an earthworm with how much lower you were than him. If anyone found out about this, you were sure that the both of you would be humiliated, but for vastly different reasons.

“You don’t have a couch or a bed or anything in your dorm?” He asked, and you felt stupid, this whole thing just felt insanely stupid. So what if you didn’t have a couch or a bed in your dorm anyway, not everyone was made of money! What was he going to do, judge you for it? “Well… Look, if you need help or anything… I-”

“I don’t need help.” You stated quickly, and you truly didn’t. Sure, you didn’t have a couch or a flat screen television in your dorm, but you had a bed, and that was more than what most people had, so you had no reason to complain. “I’m actually-” A particularly loud gust of wind whipped around you, the force so strong that you could almost hear it crackling in your speaker, and it whipped up freshly fallen leaves around you.

“Are you outside?” There was a slight panic in his voice, although you weren’t sure why. It’s not like you hadn’t braved elements far more atrocious than wind before. But then again, he didn’t exactly know you well. With the image he had in his mind of you, he probably thought you were too pretty, too perfect to be outside in the wind, potentially getting your hair messed up. “Did you go outside just to talk to me? I-If I knew you were going to do that, I would have just said to wait until a different day to call. I don’t want you to get ill.”

You clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth. Was he always this caring, or was he just pretending? Only the people closest to him would know, and you weren’t close to him at all. Surely to be as popular as he was, he’d have to be some kind of an asshole… That’s how the movies and the shows always depict the popular guys. They were too good for people like you… But… He didn’t know you were a person… A person like you. “It’s fine, really. I’ve walked home in thunderstorms before… A little gust of wind isn’t going to take me out.”

There was a sigh from his end of the call, and then the rustling of what sounded like sheets or blankets. “Well tell me where you are. You’re already out, and I wouldn’t mind walking a bit to come see you. I really want to know you… I can get my shoes on real quick and-” You hung up the call before he was finished, your breath held in your throat, and you didn’t let it go until you were certain the call was ended. It was rude, sure, of course it was… But why was he so god damn pressed on meeting you!? Why wasn’t this good enough for him too?!

JiHizzy : Did the call cut out? Was it the wind?? Are you okay!?

JiHizzy : If you don’t answer me, I’ll… I don’t know… I’m not a computer wizard but…

JiHizzy : I know people can trace things and… Please tell me you’re okay. I’m worried.

JustAnotherGirl : yeah… I’m fine…

JustAnotherGirl : my phone battery is dying…

JiHizzy : Oh! Okay!

JiHizzy : Get inside quick, please. Charge your phone and message me in the morning… yeah?

JustAnotherGirl : yeah…

JustAnotherGirl : Goodnight…

JiHizzy : Goodnight beautiful!

This was getting worse, it was only going to get harder… Maybe you should cut ties with him now… It would be better that way, wouldn’t it? It wasn’t paying off to selfishly keep him, basically trapped behind your phone screen because you were scared of the embarrassment that would come along with actually meeting him. You needed to let him go…

///

Your roommate was laying in bed, a sheet mask over her face and the bedside table lamp had been dimmed. She was sleeping, at least that’s what you thought, until the door latch clicked as you shut it and she jumped up. “What were you out doing, huh?” The questions immediately started, and you shook your head, going over to your bed and yanking back the blankets. “I know that you weren’t out with… him. He would drop dead before being seen with the likes of you, ya know?”

She snickered annoyingly, and you whipped around, your face scrunched up as you tried to keep the tears at bay. “How? How do you know that? How should I know that?! Do you know him?! Do you really know him?!” You asked, or, more like begged for her to give you the answers. You weren’t really sure why you were going to her of all people, maybe you were just desperate to hear that… that you would be good enough… Maybe not for him… But for someone.

The loud laugh that poured from her lips was like a gut punch, and you dropped down onto your bed, absolutely humiliated, devastated, you felt like a fool. “Listen… I’m gonna do you a favor… You know, since we’re… friends…” This was bound to be an awful idea, you were sure of it, but you felt like she was going to keep talking anyway and… It was beginning to feel like you didn’t have a choice. “I think it’ll be a win for both of us… So, I’ll meet him, as you… And you get to keep talking to him at night. He’ll fall in love with me and my beautiful looks, as everyone always does, and… Well, you won’t be lonely. How does that sound?”

It sounded terrible, it sounded awful, it was an elaborate ruse that surely no one would fall for… But… He wouldn’t ask you to meet him anymore… You’d still talk to him… She wouldn’t bother you or even have a reason to try to embarrass you on campus. You could stay hidden, it could work… It could really work. “Fine…” You mumbled, running your hands over your face, trying not to think too hard. “You… I don’t want to get involved too much with… What the two of you might do… But if he brings it up in the chat… You’ll have to… Tell me…” It was the last thing you’d ever want to know, but if this was going to work, you’d have to give him up just to have him still… It sounded crazy. You’d never have with him what she could… All you would ever be able to have are late night conversations, living out a fantasy through the tellings of your roommate and him. It would have to be good enough.

“Oh, don’t worry… I’ll tell you everything!” She clapped her perfectly manicured nails together, and you knew there was something sinister about it, but this felt like the only way. “Get some sleep, we have a lot of planning to do tomorrow. This is going to be great!”

///

“Where did you tell him to meet me… I mean… you?” She whispered, reading over your shoulder to try to see what the messages on your phone said. This was it… Today was the day… She’d probably tell him to delete the app since he finally met “you”. Was it worth it? Probably not… But you had been alone for the longest time before this all happened, you’d be fine with being alone after this as well. Nothing would change for you… But she would get everything she wanted… As if she didn’t have it all already.

“The… The fountain, at the center of campus…” You mumbled. Would he really think it was you? The two of you sounded nothing alike… But would he be able to pick up on that? Probably not, he didn’t seem like the type that really cared for things like that. He was so excited that you finally agreed to meet him, the messages were flooding in and she had been right there to read all of them.

JiHizzy : I’m on my way to the fountain now!

JiHizzy : I can’t believe this is finally happening… We’ve been talking for almost 4 months now…

JiHizzy : Isn’t this crazy?!?!

JiHizzy : I’m just a little nervous… I hope you don’t mind.

JustAnotherGirl : I don’t… I don’t mind at all…

Have fun… You thought to yourself as you stood at a distance, watching as Jooyi stood at the fountain, switching between sitting on the edge and standing every couple of seconds. She fumbled with the edge of her skirt, and fixed her hair, then checked her makeup. She was nothing like you… Would he be able to notice, even if you had only talked through text and occasionally on the phone? Was he able to tell your personality through little things like that?

Then you saw him, practically sprinting towards the fountain, it was like everything was in slow motion. Did he even know who to look for? Would Jooyi fit the image of you that he created in his mind? You leaned against the light pole, your phone clutched against your chest… One message and you could ruin this all for her… But it would cost you too much, and you would have nothing to show for it, nothing to gain. People like you weren’t made for people like him, he would never stoop so low as to even look in your direction. They were made for each other… Who were you to ruin things?

“Jisung!” You heard her voice ringing in your ears, and you looked up from the pavement to see her waving in his direction, and he paused. Did he know? You watched him closely, and you saw the smile slowly beginning to form on his face before he sprinted over to her. His arms wrapped around her waist in a tight hug, picking her up and spinning her around before setting her on the ground. It would never be you, that could never be you… You made two people happy today… It should feel good, but you felt sick, and you quickly turned away, rushing back to your dorm room. You didn’t have to be there to watch it, you’d hear all about it when she came back.

///

JiHizzy : It was… Wow…

JiHizzy : Finally meeting you in person! It’s amazing!

JustAnotherGirl : Yeah! I’m so happy that I finally got to meet you!

You sniffled softly as you looked over his messages. They wouldn’t be the same again, nothing would. He’d talk about everything that he did with “you”, and you’d just have to respond as if… as if it were truly you there. This… This deal… It wasn’t fair at all. It was just rubbing into your face everything that Jooyi got to do with him… And he was the one unknowingly telling you… She was evil… But she was a master at being just that.

JiHizzy : Well… Do you want to talk on the phone? I mean…

JiHizzy : We’ve already met each other and… I don’t know why…

JiHizzy : I could ask you for your number… But I don’t want to get rid of the app.

JustAnotherGirl : oh? Why?

JiHizzy : There’s just so many memories on here…

JiHizzy : Sometimes when I’m alone or sad… I go back through our messages. You really know how to make me happy…

JustAnotherGirl : Really…?

JiHizzy : Yeah… Really.

JiHizzy : Don’t tell anyone though! The guys would totally mock me for that.

JustAnotherGirl : I won’t… I won’t tell anyone.

Jooyi burst through the door, shopping bags lining her arms and she dropped them carelessly to the floor before falling back onto her bed, a loud, ear piercing squeal escaping her as she kicked her feet. “He’s so amazing! He’s so much cuter up close! He wants to take me on a date this weekend!!” She squealed again, and you felt disgusted. Did he want to take her on a date, or did he want to take you on a date? Was it her looks or was it your personality that he liked?

“I’m… Really happy for you, Jooyi.” You lied through gritted teeth. You hated hearing about it, you hated hearing her in general, but hearing her talk about him as if she was the one who had put in the work over four months to get him to like her… It was unfair. You faked a yawn and rubbed your eyes, acting tired just to be able to wipe your tears without her noticing. “I’m gonna go to the library and study. I’ll see you later.”

She was lost in her own world, but she sat up as you reached the door, your backpack slung over your shoulder and your hand on the doorknob. “Hey!” You put on a smile as you turned to face her, waiting for her to continue. “Did he message you? Did he talk about me? Hmm?”

You felt your phone vibrate in your back pocket, you knew it was him, but you shook your head. “Haven’t heard from him… Maybe he deleted the app… I don’t know. I have to study though, I’ll let you know if he does.” She sighed softly, letting her head fall back against the mattress, she was back in dreamland. Her whole life was a dream… And yours was a nonstop nightmare.

///

The library was practically empty when you walked in, you could hear every squeak of the floorboards as the one or two other students paced the shelves of books. You could almost hear the buzzing of the fluorescent light that hung over your head… You could hear… “Is this seat taken?” The man asked, and you looked up to see Jisung standing next to the chair that was across from you. It was strange, and you looked around at the vast amount of empty tables that filled the large building. Why would he want to sit with you? “I don’t like sitting by myself… I feel like it’s easier to study when I have someone sitting with me.”

Could he read your mind? Pfft, no! That’s impossible. “It’s not taken…” You mumbled, trying to keep your voice low, hoping that he wouldn’t recognize it from the phone calls. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how furious Jooyi would be if she found out about this. Maybe you should just leave. You could study another night. Then your phone vibrated against the table, your heart froze, and Jisung, who had been smiling at his own phone looked up at you.

“Heh… That’s a coincidence. I just sent a message and your phone vibrated!” He said rather cheerfully, and the way he looked at you, it was like he was expecting you to check it. There was no way in hell you’d do that though. You awkwardly giggled, shoving your phone into your backpack as you shook your head.

“Probably an email or something… It is… Ironic though…” You whispered, lowering your head even further into the textbook that you had opened. You felt his eyes linger on you though, like they were burning through you, and you didn’t know whether to feel flustered, nervous, or both those things and everything in between. “D-Do you need something? A pencil… Or-”

“I know you…” He said matter-of-factly, and it was like your throat closed up and your chest tightened. How did he know you? What was he talking about? He couldn’t possibly know you. “You’re the top student… You’re like, mega smart! I can see why now… Do you always study this late?”

Relief, a sigh of relief and a deep breath. You were safe… You shouldn’t overthink too much. “Mmn…” You nodded your head once but kept it bowed, trying to focus on the words in the textbook, but it was so hard. “Thank you…” You added, wondering if maybe that was what he was waiting for.

He chuckled softly, and then you felt the table shake as he dropped his own backpack on the table and started pulling out a bunch of notebooks. “You make it seem so easy. How do you just… Concentrate? It’s so hard for me to do.” He whined, and you looked around as his voice got higher and higher. “Oh… Sorry.” His voice dropped back down to a whisper and then he chuckled softly.

His laugh was contagious and you couldn’t help but laugh along with him, your hand clasping over your mouth to try to muffle the noise. “It’s easy… You just have to find the fun in it.” He rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at you and you pursed your lips, trying not to laugh at his reaction. “Seriously. Here, let me show you.”

It was supposed to be a solo study session, honestly, it was just to try to get away from your roommate long enough for her to fall asleep. You never in your wildest dreams expected this to happen. It was like a scene straight out of a k-drama, but you also knew that after these types of scenes, things got bad. But you didn’t want to think about that right now… All you could think about was the way that he laughed with you, the way he smiled at you, the way he talked to you like you were a person and not just the dirt beneath his shoes.

“You remind me of someone.” He said nonchalantly as you both started packing up your books. You blinked a few times, your head tilting to the side as you waited for him to elaborate, but he was looking at his phone, his smile dropping slightly as he turned it off and slid it into his pocket. “Oh… It’s nothing. She must have just fallen asleep. She’s always so tired. She studies a lot… Kind of like you. Maybe you can tutor me… I’ll bring her too! That would be cool, right?” Cool… Not at all. It was the complete opposite of cool. That… That would never work.

“M-Maybe… I don’t know… I tutor a couple other people.” You came up with the lie quickly, and you hated the way his smile almost completely disappeared. Maybe you could make an exception… It’s not like he’d find out… Right? Jooyi would just have to act interested in studying. You were sure that if you told her, she’d be on board… “I’ll… I’ll see if I can schedule you in.”

And just like that, his smile was back and he was pulling his phone out again. “Awesome! Uhm, how about we exchange phone numbers and…” He trailed off when he saw the look on your face, and you were sure that you looked quite uneasy. There was no way that would go over well with Jooyi, she’d flip shit. “How about Anonny… You know the app, right? Everyone has it!” Oh shit… That was even worse.

“How about… We leave it up to fate.” His eyebrow arched, and you were really going out on a limb here with the excuses, but you had to protect yourself… Not just from him, but from Jooyi too. You didn’t have much to lose… But it was enough to have you terrified. “If we both manage to come to the library at the same time, if you see me here, I’ll tutor you. I usually come at night though… Just so you know.”

You bowed your head to him as you got up, putting on your backpack and heading out, and you could hear him following behind you. “I’ll be here. Every night. I’ll study on my own too… Thank you, for helping me.” You hummed in response, pushing open the main door and you were met with a rather brisk gust of wind that had you shivering and shoving your hands into your pockets. “Are you cold? Here…” He shimmied out of his top coat, placing it over your shoulders and smiling when he saw it on you. “You can return it to me next time fate brings us together, okay? Just stay warm, and get home safe.”

For fucks sake…

///

JiHizzy : Hey, whatcha up to?

JiHizzy : It’s been like… 3 hours… Are you mad or something?

JiHizzy : You must be sleeping… I just feel like somethings wrong…

JiHizzy : Let me know when you get this message… Okay?

Your roommate was fast asleep when you finally got in, and you quickly took off Jisungs coat and slid it under your bed, safe for now at least from the prying eyes of Jooyi. As you curled up under your blankets, ready to just fall asleep, ready to let yourself drift off into a world where you didn’t have to pretend and you didn’t have to lie to the man who had sat across from you in the library when there were so many tables to choose from. The man who smiled at you and made you feel like you were the only person in the room. Then your phone vibrated once more from under your pillow.

JiHizzy : I was studying tonight… I know how important it is to you and… I wanted to do it. JiHizzy : I met someone there, she reminded me of you a lot!

JiHizzy : I hope these aren’t waking you up… I know you’re sleeping.

JustAnotherGirl : I was at the library too. We must have just missed each other…

JiHizzy : NO WAY! Dammit! Well…

JiHizzy : I was thinking that we can do study dates. Wouldn’t that be cool?

JustAnotherGirl : It would. I really like that idea.

JiHizzy : Awesome! Okay!

JiHizzy : Goodnight cutie!

Study dates… That’s how you had looked at tonight, or you were just delusional. If tonight had happened sooner… Would you have taken Jooyi up on her deal? He seemed to be just fine with you… He wasn’t embarrassed, he wasn’t ashamed to be sitting across from you and laughing with you… Would he have liked you still if he knew who you really were?

///

“So, how was your night last night? You got home safe?” Jisung asked and you heard Jooyi giggle loudly, it was so fake, it made you sick. He was such a genuine person, and she was nothing but a stuck up little-

“My night was wonderful! I went shopping for our date this weekend. I can’t wait for you to see the outfits I picked out!” You sank down onto the bench. Shit… You hadn’t told her… What would happen now?

“Sh-Shopping?” He questioned, and you wanted to crawl under a rock. You wanted to hide from her and the wrath that you knew was bound to be coming your way. “I thought you were studying? You said… You said you were at the library…”

She went silent, and even though you were outside, you could feel the tension in the air. “Did… Did I say shopping?! Oh my gosh, I meant studying! I’m a big nerd! You know me!” She laughed again, but this time there was something else… Nervousness? Irritation? Anger? She’d be looking for you.

“You’re acting weird… Are you okay?” He asked, and she scoffed loudly. Should you spare a glance and risk meeting eyes with her? “Were you just… Lying about studying? Was it to try to… Impress me? You know you don’t have to do that.”

“I know I don’t. I’m impressive enough!” She said loudly, it’s like she enjoyed making scenes. She was disgusting. “I have to go really quick, I forgot my big ol’ textbook back at my room. I’ll meet up with you later? We can have lunch!”

“Y-Yeah… Sure…” Something had changed… He wasn’t buying it anymore. But you didn’t have time to worry about that. Jooyi was looking for you, and you were tired of being scared of her. You were tired of worrying about what she’d do or what she’d say about you. Jisung liked you, even if just as a friend… You had been made clear of that last night at the library. She couldn’t even make it one day… The two of you were just too different, and he had noticed. You weren’t sure what would happen next, but you weren’t going to hide away, you weren’t going to give in. You deserved to be happy… You might not have the money, you don’t have the luxuries, but you have the willpower, and you have the drive… And that was worth way more than what her money could ever buy.

“I need to talk to you… Now.” As if like magic, she appeared in front of you. She was angry, no doubt, but there was nothing she could do to hurt you. So you got up, following her off to the side of one of the buildings, and before you could say anything the palm of her hand connected with your cheek. “You bitch! You said that you’d tell me when he messaged you! Was this your plan?! To humiliate me in front of him!”

Now it was your turn to scoff, your turn to laugh, and while the sting in your cheek hurt, it didn’t hurt as much as knowing that you almost let him get away, you almost let him get stuck with someone like her. “I didn’t have to plan it for it to work out like this. You humiliated yourself. He isn’t your type… Deal with it.”

“You…” She started, but it quickly turned to a scream, one filled with pure rage as she started grabbing at the pockets of your jacket. “Give me your phone! He doesn’t want you! He wants me! You’re nothing! You’re poor and you’re pathetic and you’ll never have him! Why would anyone want you!” She just… screamed… She screamed so loud, and with every attempt to grab at you, you swatted her hands away, backing up further and further until you bumped into something… or… someone. “Oh! Jisung!” She full stopped, adjusting her hair and putting on the fakest smile.

“What are you doing?” He asked, looking between you and Jooyi. “What are you talking about?” His eyes focused on you a lot longer, as if studying you, and you felt the heat of his gaze, but it didn’t burn, it just made you feel warm, it made you feel safe. “Why do you want her phone?”

Jooyi was stuttering over herself, unable to form a coherent sentence as her head shook violently. “She… Sh-She’s blackmailing me, Ji! She stole my username on Anonny… She’s pretending to be me so that she can get with you… So she can take you away from me!” She whined, and you couldn’t help but look disgustedly at her. She truly was the queen of scenes, stomping her feet and throwing a tantrum like a child would. How pathetic.

“My… tutor… Is blackmailing… You?” He questioned, and her eyes widened before turning her daggers towards you. “What’s your name on Anonny? If she stole it from you… What is it?” You didn’t have to do anything, he was putting all of the pieces together for himself. You weren’t sure what would happen once the puzzle finally came together… And maybe it wouldn’t work out for you… But to see her get knocked down to size, it made it all worth it.

“I-It… My Anonny name? You know it! You tell me what it is!” She said, and you knew why, she was trying to get him to say it… But he was smarter than that. He shook his head, letting out a disappointed chuckle, and then his attention was back on you. “Don’t! Don’t look at her! Look at me! You love me!”

“Do I?” He whispered, but he never looked away from you, his head tilted and a small smile on his face. “What’s your Anonny username?” He asked, and you felt the heat rising inside of you. This was your chance, your moment, you didn’t know where it would lead you to, but it was time.

“I’m… JustAnotherGirl… Just another girl that has a crush on you… That gets overlooked and forgotten. But I’m here… And I’ve been here for four months…” You murmured, and he let out a shaky gasp. Was he embarrassed? Was he ashamed that you were the girl he had been talking to for so long? “I’m sorry. I’m not popular, I’m not even close to rich. I don’t have much to give… But-”

“But you’re perfect…” He stepped closer to you, causing you to stumble back as your breath hitched in your throat. “You’re smart, and you’re sweet… You’re kind and you’re genuine. You’re not materialistic, you’re just… You’re wonderful, you’re wonderfully you…” His hand reached up, his knuckles brushing lightly against your cheek. “You’re the girl that I fell in love with…”

“WHAT!!?” Jooyi screeched from behind you, and before you knew it, you and Jisung were being pushed apart. “Are you serious right now?! Her?! She’s… She’s a roach! She’s vermin! I can’t believe you right now! Have you seen me?!”

“Sadly.” Jisung retorted, and it took everything in you not to laugh, but everyone that had gathered around to see what was going on laughed enough for you. “I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t talk about my girlfriend like that.”

“G-Girlfriend?!” Jooyi scoffed, running her hands through her hair. “You’ve got to be kidding me! Just… When you lose all your friends because you’re with a loser, don’t come crawling back to me! Have fun being not popular!”

“I think it’s time for us to go, don’t you?” He asked, completely ignoring her now as he draped his arm over your shoulder. “You want lunch? Anything you want, it’s on me.”

///

HanJi : I’ll be at the library soon. I’ve got hot cocoa!

Beautiful Wonderful Girlfriend : Don’t drive too fast, the snow is really coming down now…

“I know it is…” His voice came from behind you, and then the cups of hot cocoa were placed in front of you on the table. “It’s really pretty, isn’t it?” You glanced out the window, awestruck at just how beautiful campus could look when blanketed in dazzling white snow. “You brought your coat, right?”

You nodded your head, patting the chair beside you where the coat that he had given you almost 2 years ago was neatly hanging over the back of the seat. “It’s your coat… You just won’t let me give it back.” You teased, and he let out a soft sigh as he dropped down into his seat. He hadn’t changed a bit since the first time you both sat at this table together.

It was strange how time worked, it felt like forever ago, but you remembered it like it had happened just yesterday. “It’s our coat, babe. What’s mine is yours.” He sounded so serious, but you couldn’t help but laugh at the statement. He was talking like the two of you were… Married? Your laughter subsided as you stared at him across the table, your lips parted slightly as you let out a quiet breath.

“You’re funny…” You said sheepishly, turning your attention back out the window, focusing on the snowflakes that danced down from the sky, finding the perfect place to rest. “We’re not married, our things don’t have to be shared…” Even though you both had been together for two years and he was the sweetest, most loving boyfriend you had ever had… You still couldn’t get those words out of your head. The words from the past that had been uttered by the girl that had wanted to take your place… He would never want to be with someone like you…

“Yet…” He murmured, the word like a breath leaving his lips. You blinked a few times, feeling the heat rising in your cheeks, your heart thumping loudly in your chest. Did he really love you that much? Could someone really love you that much? Were you deserving of this much love, to be with someone like him? “What are you thinking about, babe?” He cooed, reaching across the table to grab your hands that were folded on top, his thumb brushing lightly across your knuckles.

“I’m just…” You began, feeling the familiar sting of fresh tears beginning to brim in your eyes, but it was slightly different this time… They weren’t tears of sadness or fear… You were happy. “I’m so lucky… And… I never thought I’d be with someone so amazing… So perfect…” You could barely get your voice above a whisper, your throat closing up from trying to hold back your tears.

“Mm…” He hummed, pushing away from the table and getting up, walking around to your side of the table and grabbing your hand. “Let’s take a walk… yeah?” One more glance out the window and you saw the snow creating almost a wall of white as it came down harder, but there was no wind, it was just… beautiful. “I’ll keep you warm, don’t worry.”

You nodded your head, grabbing the coat and slipping it on, the scent of his cologne, although faded, still brought you comfort when you put it on. “Where are we going?” You quizzed, slipping your fingers between his as you both walked out of the library. You were sure that nothing would be open, not with this weather.

“Anywhere… I just… I want to walk with you.” He said, his voice kind of shaky, like his nerves had gotten the better of him. He led you aimlessly through campus, and you followed right along beside him. You didn’t really care where you were going, as long as you were with him, you’d follow the path he was taking blindly with your hand in his. “I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ll do it…”

Was he talking to you or was he just thinking out loud? You looked to him, the snowflakes catching on your eyelashes as you tried to read him, but he was looking straight forward, his lips turned up into a lopsided smile. “How you’ll do what?” Even though you were speaking softly, the silence that surrounded you made every word sound so loud.

“Propose.” He sounded so calm, but the singular word alone had you pausing, pulling him back so he would face you. “What? Can I not think about how I’m going to propose to my wonderful, beautiful, amazing, sweet, lovely-“

“Okay okay!” Even after 2 years, you still weren’t the best at taking compliments, especially when he was looking at you so intently. “Why are you thinking about that right now? We’re still in college and… I want you to focus on graduating. So we can both be successful. You know?”

His hand slipped out of yours and then his arm snaked around your waist as he started walking again, pulling you along with him. “I can focus on graduating, and I can focus on you. I’ve been doing it since the day I truly met you… the real you.” He chuckled quietly, the sound building in his chest as his head shook. It was funny now, to look back on everything that happened. “And I like thinking about the future, it makes me happy to know that I’ll be spending it with you. But you don’t have to worry about me proposing in college… I wouldn’t want everyone to see. I want it to be a moment for us to remember.” You hummed softly, leaning against his shoulder as you simply listened to him, you let him get lost in his thoughts because you didn’t mind getting lost in them either. They had you looking forward to a better, simpler time where the two of you would be able to be together without worrying about grades and finals. “Flower petals will line the path that I’ll take you down…” He murmured, and your eyes were focused on his face, not noticing the trail of pink and red in the snow. “A gazebo, with fairy lights twinkling brightly, shining in your eyes…” He continued, sighing softly. “Nobody is around, the snow is falling, you look absolutely stunning against the backdrop…”

“A winter proposal?” You asked, and you were so lost in his thoughts and your own that you hadn’t even noticed how far you had walked until he was leading you up the stairs of a white wooden gazebo, perfect icicles hanging off the roof of it, and… fairy lights illuminated the inside. “Ji…” You whispered his name, a tuft of smoke coming from your mouth as you breathed it out. His arm left your waist and he kneeled down in front of you, his cheeks a dark pink from both the cold and his nerves. “You said… You said you wouldn’t propose when we were still in college…”

He snickered, fishing a black velvet box out of his pocket, his snow dampened hair curtaining his eyes as he kept his head down. “I meant… not while we were in the college. We’re not on the grounds anymore…” He finally looked up at you, and you let out a shaky gasp as it truly set in what he was doing. “I don’t want to wait any longer, I know that you’re the one that I want to spend all of my life with. I’ve never felt more comfortable with anyone else. I love you, I’ve known that I loved you since before I even… before I even knew you. I wake up every morning and thank everything that you’re mine, and I fall asleep every night knowing that no matter what, everything will be okay because I have you by my side. I don’t care what anyone thinks, I don’t care what people might say… I only care that you’re happy… And if you say yes, I promise… To do my best to make you feel happy and loved every single day until the day that I die.” He opened the box, and the diamond facets of the silver ring glistened and reflected the lights that had been strung up. “So… Will you… Will you marry me?”

You choked out a sob, dropping to your knees in front of him as you nodded your head yes, and he quickly pulled the ring out of the box, his hand shaking as he slid it onto your finger. “Ji…” Was all you could say as you looked at the ring, cold, yet so beautiful in its place. His chilled hands cupped your cheeks, tilting your head so that your eyes would meet his. “I love you…”

“And I’ll always love you.” He leaned in, kissing you softly and humming against your lips. “Shall we go back inside and warm up, my beautiful, lovely, wonderful, amazing-“

“Stop~” You playfully whined, giggling quietly as you dropped your gaze once more. “You’re so cheesy…” You mumbled, and then you felt his lips against your forehead, his fingers brushing your hair out of your face.

“And you’re… You’re everything to me…” He pushed himself up to his feet, carefully pulling you up and then hugging you tightly. “Thank you, for making me happy, for loving me… I can’t wait to marry you."

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miikapie · 4 months

Text

"Its not gonna fit!" with Geto, Choso, Toji and Gojo! (NSFW)

Just posting this because ive been thinking about writing it for weeks. Enjoy this tiny drabble while I stress over college!

Cw:.. fem!reader x various jjk men, they're mean :(( (toji, gojo too kinda..), choso being too sweet, cunilingus (choso), bad grammar ofcourse, SEX SMASHING INTERCOURSE BABY MAKING FUCKING MAKING LOVE i hope you get the point.

/MDNI//NSFW UNDER THE CUT!!

Gojo is so mean to you. If you say absolutely anything related to his size, or not being able to accommodate to his girth, hes seizing the opportunity to brag and belittle you while doing so.

"Awh baby.. it can't fit? hmm? Is my cock too big? Its okay, cutie, I know I know.. Maybe we just need to pay attention to your little clit, and we'll stretch you out too yeah? Im gonna make sure your little cunt remembers every single one of my veins no matter how long it takes to get in aallllll the way."

Geto (sighs dreamily) I LOVE THIS MAN. Totally much nicer than Gojo, but unintentionally mind-breaks you. His voice btw is so sexy can you imagine how husky it is duirng the deed??? drooling rn.

"Oh, what was that? It wont fit, hm? Thats okay, love. We'll find our way around it. Just gotta stretch you out some more so i can hit that spot you love so much, mhm? Right there isnt it? Yeah, I can tell with the way you're tightening around me. Or what about this? Maybe I'll touch your clit a little more. God... I love seeing you like this. Thats a good girl.. lay down juuust like that. You dont need to think for yourself anymore when I've got you."

Toji is SO mean, and incredibly cocky. Despite knowing damn well he's way too big to bottom out immediately in you, he takes this opportunity be snarky fun of you while destroying your insides.

" 's too big? We'll make it fit, doll. Stop moving like that, you know its just gonna hurt more. Give it a few minutes and you'll be crying like a bitch in heat. Fine. I'll be nice i guess, but im still going all the way in. 's not my fault your pussy's too damn tight. Fuck.. so good.. Yeah, see? Told you you could take it, wipe those tears 'fa me and keep your legs up here on my shoulders, yeah?"

Nanami... ah. He tries so so hard to be nice to you, by slowly bullying his way in your walls, but no matter how many times you do the deed it seems like you can never keep up with his size

"Too much, honey? Its okay, sweetheart. Look, I'll put a pillow just under your back here.. and it'll make you feel much better. Whats that? Feels nicer now? Ill take it slow as always honey, just take your deep breaths... God.. you're always so tight... It feels nice when I touch you right here doesn't it?..Feels deeper? Yes, love, thats the pillow under your back helping you relax. We're gonna have to use that trick next time wont we? Thats it, sweet thing, see? Im almost bottomed out and you haven't even noticed at all."

Choso is too much of a sensitive lover to even think about ever possibly pushing your boundaries. If he ever heard you say anything along the lines of 'too big' he'd pull out immediately and instead eat you out as an apology. (even though you've told him its just something you said in the heat of the moment) (he still leaves you shaking tho.)

#toji x reader #choso x reader #gojo x reader #geto x reader #nanami x reader #jjk smut #im in kahoots for geto rn.#going through my geto phase #(its not a phase.)

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radiant-reid · 1 year

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hi, cate ! just an idea, if you want to be a blurb about it it's great, if you don't, it's okay <3 : Spencer and the BAU having a drink in a bar. Reader approaches the team and Spencer. Maybe her greeting Penelope with a hug and getting close to Spencer when she doesn’t know them at all, and tries to explain discreetly "save me, a creepy guy is stalking me since I arrived". How would Spencer react witg his "physical contact problem" and save the pretty girl ?

After a long, stressful week, the team is excited to have a night off to wind down, and when Rossi offers to buy, everyone eagerly goes to the bar together.

Penelope and Spencer are the only two left at the table- everyone else getting drinks at the bar, in the bathroom, or dancing- when you come up to the table, leaning down to hug Penelope.

Spencer doesn't automatically register anything sinister happening, knowing Penelope has lots of friends. However, the look on your face is not the look of someone excited to see your friend.

"Please help me." Spencer catches the words you're whispering to Penelope. "That guy has been following me since I got here." His eyes travel across the bar, quickly finding who you're talking about.

Penelope remains calm. "I haven't seen you in so long." She plays the role of your friend effortlessly, shuffling around the booth to let you sit next to her.

The guy you're worried about doesn't stop when he sees you with your 'friends.' Instead, he walks over, unbothered about interrupting a private conversation.

"Hey, are you ready to get out of here yet?" He asks.

Spencer sees the fear in your eyes, a paralyzing fear he's felt before, and he quickly steps in since you don't seem to be able to find the words to defend yourself.

He gets up, stepping between you and the guy. He's much taller, towering over the other guy. "She doesn't want to go with you. You need to leave." He directs in a low tone that Penelope's never heard before, and it leaves no room for argument.

It works easily, the creep leaving the table quicker than he got there, clearly intimidated by someone who has rarely been threatening in his life.

"Thank you so much. You seriously both saved me." You say once he sits back down. "I'll, uh, go." You tell them, aware you've maybe interrupted what could be a couple's date night, even though they look unlikely to be together.

Penelope kicks Spencer under the table, prompting him to not let you walk off. When you stand up, he does too. "Can I, uh, b-buy you a drink?" He offers shyly, a complete 180 from how authoritatively he spoke before.

"I'm Penelope." She introduces herself. "And he's not actually scary, I promise."

You trusted her as soon as you saw her, and his eyes are filled with kindness. "I'm Y/n." You tell them both. "And thanks again. I do think I should be buying you both drinks, though."

"No, let me, please," Spencer says. "Oh, and I'm Spencer, by the way."

"He's one of the good ones," Penelope tells you, and you nod, agreeing to let him buy you a drink as you walk off in front of him. "Bye, lover boy," She whispers to Spencer as she gives him the thumbs up.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid blurb #criminal minds

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byechristopher · 6 months

Text

⠀

I hate you, too [pt.2].

– CHRIS STURNIOLO SMUT & ANGST.

PART ONE.

Author's note: HI, I finally wrote it. I originally made a poll but, the answer was pretty clear so, here it is. It was requested, by the way! I'll reply to the message because I forgot to put it here, thanks for the request, dear. Side note, I was listening to Never Lose Me – Flo Mili (during the smut part, obvi). Do not copy/steal my work. :)

Warnings: filthy smut, super super long, didn't proofread, rough smut, car sex, angst. That's pretty much it. Minors dni. Thank you.

It's been a week since the party I attended, the one where I encountered him.

My mind has been consumed by reflections on that night, so much that I haven't been able to do anything else other than that, except for work. While I assume he might not have dwelled on it, I can't help but wonder if he thinks about me – about the way we touched, the way I looked at him when he prepared to leave. When I didn't want him to leave.

I shake my head, realizing I can't continue this self-inflicted struggle. Accepting the ongoing intimacy with my ex was challenging enough, let alone having feelings that linger inside me, still to this day. I almost gave in that day, when I saw something in his eyes, something that said he still cared about me – mending my dress, that sweet kiss, his declaration of hatred, a reminder of our past. That we once hated each other and that's why we weren't together anymore. Or so we thought.

Deciding that just sitting here, mopping around and feeling sorry for myself isn't going to help at all, I get up determined to go outside and have some fun. No house parties, no hosts, no Chris, no nothing.

My friends are already up for it (and I love them for it), because it only takes ten minutes for them to come over so we can get all dolled up together. It's a few minutes past midnight and we're finally ready (okay, we did have a few pre-drinks then and there), so we immediately call a cab. We reach our destination just a few minutes later and after greeting the girl that was at the entrance of the club, she lets us in and we get lost in the crowd.

You know how it goes; flashing lights everywhere, people kissing and drinking, almost pitch black all around. Looks like clubs aren't that different from house parties after all. A group of friends offers to buy us drinks, and who are we to say no (there's no way we're dancing with any of them, but it's fine) – we're already having the time of our lives, we're drinking, we look amazing, everything seems possible.

Except for the impossible.

Because there's no fucking way Chris happens to be in this same club; I completely lose the ground beneath my feet. I want to turn my back to him, I really do. But at the same time I want him to see me again. I want to see him again.

My friends notice where I'm looking and they know better than to say anything – so they just leave me be. Chris notices me as well and everything stops. Not again. I hope he doesn't come here but deep down I'm praying he does.

"Never had a bitch like me in your life.."

What is it with me, Chris and songs that we both used to like (and have sex while listening to them)? He's looking at me, and I can feel his intense gaze once again. As he drinks something, for a moment, I wish I could see this sight up close, look how his tongue touches the glass. Fucking hell.

Me and my girlfriends sway to the music, letting every beat ignite a playful dance between us. As we keep each other close, the music wraps around us, and for a moment I forget about him. Lost in the rhythm, we surrender to the dance, singing along.

He's here. Well fuck.

He grabs me by the waist and pulls me closer to him – I can't help but roll my eyes, turning around to look into his blue ones, holding my own drink close to me.

"How dare you interrupt my dance?" I yell in his ear so he can hear and he smiles.

"I stayed to watch you for a bit before I approached and interrupted your dance. You were just too irresistible, damn." as usual, he has a big smirk on his face and I just want to slap it off his face.

His arm stays on my waist and I can't find the strength to push it away – his hand roams around my naked back thanks to my dress, not that I'm complaining. He leans in to wrap his lips around my straw, tasting my drink while looking at me.

"Tastes much better with that lipstick you're wearing.." he teases and licks his lips, "..bet you love it even more when it's around my dick." his gaze darkens and my legs shake a little.

"What a shame you'll never see it on you ever again." I give him a sarcastic smile and push him gently with one hand.

"You sure about that?" his lips are touching my ear and again, I hate myself for letting him have such an effect on me.

"Yes. I don't like sharing my lipsticks." I raise a challenging eyebrow, indirectly asking him if he's been fucking anyone else besides me – because if that's the case, I feel like I will completely lose myself.

"Mhmm.. you're already thinking about other girls sucking my dick?" he tilts his head with an innocent-like look on his face, "..jealous about it?" his thumb rubs my bottom lip and his smile returns.

My blood is boiling to say the least, but I know him way better than to show that. So instead, I smile, "I don't have time to think about your dick, baby. Someone else makes sure I don't." take that.

No one. Absolutely no one can make me stop thinking about him in general but I had to say something. Otherwise I might just start crying.

Something shifts in his eyes and I internally high-five myself for achieving to make him jealous once again. He leaves. What? He literally just lets me go and goes back to where his friend group is, turns his back on me and everything. Well, shit.

I'm more than jealous but I want him way more than our egoistic bullshit; I'm shameless, I want him.

I move swiftly through the crowd, desperately trying to find him before i change my mind – and I do find him. He doesn't really expect to see me there but he does and he smiles. I quickly wrap my fingers around his wrist this time, dragging him with me like he did in that house party the previous week. Safely, I lead us out of the club, making sure to not answer any of his questions.

Once he realises that I'm not speaking to him until we reach the car, he stops talking and simply follows me. We finally get into the car and I start the engine.

"Do you realise how crazy that was?" he finally says, he really didn't expect me to just do that.

"I thought you liked crazy." I smirk this time and he huffs, licking his lips and leaning back against the passenger seat, making himself comfortable.

Once I make sure we're somewhere where no one will be able to see us, I immediately stop the car, lock it and I practically jump on him, straddling his thighs. His hands immediately grab my hips, his mouth hungry, searching for my lips and his eyes even hungrier.

"You drive me fucking crazy." he almost growls as he quickly rides up my dress, exposing the rest of my thighs and panties.

I undo his shirt with shaky fingers, leaving it on but making sure I have access to his naked body. I almost attack his skin with hungry kisses and love bites as he keeps himself occupied with my butt, kneading and smacking the skin every now and then.

I wrap my lips around his nipple and now my lipstick is long gone – his moans fill the car, fogging up the windows as I continue sucking on his sensitive nipple. He pushes my panties to the side from behind, his finger traveling from my ass to my pussy, rubbing the entrance and collecting all of the juices. I can't help but moan against his skin. With his free hand, he grabs a fistful of my hair, tugging at it to make my head fall back – with my neck now exposed, he finds the opportunity to attack it with his kisses and bites. In the meantime, I unbuckle his belt, moaning every time his teeth sink into my sensitive skin.

His finger keeps teasing my wet entrance, but his other hand finally lets go of my hair and I immediately lean in to kiss his lips hungrily. As I sit up as much as I can, I push his pants down with a bit of his help, doing the same with his boxers as I start rubbing his cock.

"You must be very loyal to that other guy, hm?" he chuckles and wraps his hand around my throat.

"Your other girlfriends haven't been able to satisfy you, it seems. You're about to cum already..." I click my tongue, completely avoiding what he said to me, "..either that, or you're still obsessed with me.." I whisper, grinding down on his dick as he keeps grabbing me by the throat, "do you think they'd like that?"

He chuckles, moaning as soon as he feels the warmth and the wetness of my pussy, "do you think your little bitch will like it when he sees the marks I left for him?" he whispers, tightening the grip around my throat.

I groan, realising my neck must be all bruised up already. This fucking asshole.

Grabbing his dick again, I lower myself down on it as we both moan in unison – he immediately hugs me, his warm fingers digging into the skin of my back as I start to finally move.

"Fucking hell.." he whispers, his face buried in my neck as his hands cup my ass cheeks, guiding me up and down on his cock.

"Fuck.. Chris.." I moan loudly, one hand around him and the other one pressing against the car window, leaving a mark behind.

"Baby.. like that.." he mutters and I can feel myself clenching around him as soon as he calls me that.

He takes my breasts in his hands, squeezing them gently and kissing them with every chance he gets. I can feel him throbbing and I know it is almost time.

He immediately licks his fingers and presses them on my clit, making me stop my movements and tremble, my eyes roll to the back of my head.

"Don't stop. Keep going." he orders and I do exactly that. My burning thighs don't make it easy, especially in his goddamn car, but I don't care. As soon as I start moving up and down his dick again, his fingers start moving.

"Chris.. Chris, please.." I moan, gasping every time he picks up the pace. My breasts bounce with every movement, both of my hands now are on his shoulders supporting myself as I feel myself getting closer and closer.

"I wanna feel it, cum on me." he moans and his touch on my clit becomes as gentle as it can, and that's when I lose it. Once I come down from my high, he pulls out and cums all over my belly, almost shouting my name as he squeezes his eyes shut and grips my hips so hard that I'm sure it'll leave bruises behind.

It takes a while for me to start breathing normal again – and at the same time, I was afraid of what was going to happen when all of this stopped. But for now, I am trying to live in the moment as much as I can; he holds me in his arms tightly, I can feel his heartbeat and his breath tickling my hair, and I can swear I feel his fingertips caressing my back, drawing invisible circles on the skin.

I almost want to cry as he holds me close, I am so overwhelmed with emotions I didn't know I still had in me, that my hands start shaking.

"There's no one else. Only you." I whisper against his shoulder, my cheek pressed against it.

He takes a moment to respond, but he eventually does, "no other lipsticks for me either. Only yours." he whispers back.

This is what happens all the time ever since we parted ways – I call him, we have sex. He sees me outside, we have sex. We are ruthless, merciless, ready to tear each other apart without thinking of the consequences. So when we're finished, and all the hatred and lust is gone, what's left is two vulnerable, broken hearts and a love for each other that once existed.

I don't know how to react at his words. I feel relieved but I also feel angry, I feel hurt. Everything all at once.

"Come on." he says and makes me lean back against the dashboard. He grabs some baby wipes he keeps in his car and starts cleaning up my belly, my thighs, everywhere. He cleans himself up as well and throws them away in the little bin inside the car. He fixes my panties and my dress as well (as much as he can).

He tries to make me get up, but I stay in place. He looks at me but I don't move an inch, "can I ask you something?" I muster up the courage to ask.

"What is it?" he sighs, he knows something heavy is coming.

"Why are you so cold all the time?" he furrows his eyebrows at my question, and he looks like he is about to say a million reasons why what I just asked was stupid, "..so cold, playing it cool all the time, as if nothing happened." I say and I almost regret it.

"Are you fucking serious? What did you expect? You broke up with me, yet you still wanna have sex with me. Do you want me to be all lovey-dovey with you?" he narrows his eyes and I bite the inside of my cheek.

He's correct – what did I really expect? I vividly recall the day I ended our relationship; he was devastated, it was like something shifted within us since then. I was devastated, too. But the decision to break up felt necessary and inevitable. Our hectic schedules kept us apart for days on end. And being the jealous toxic assholes that we both are, this never ended well; it drove me nuts, I had to end it. However, ending the relationship doesn't mean my love for him ceased; on the contrary, I'll never stop loving him. And as for the sex.. well, it's pretty self-explanatory; he's the only one who knows what I like and what I don't. His touch is the only thing I knew for years. And that was the only way I could be close to him. I might've regretted that decision. Might've.

"No. But I would at least expect you to be respectful towards me, we were together for so long." I look down at my trembling fingers, there's pain in my voice.

"Yeah, well, do you know what else would be respectful? You, owning up to the decision you fucking made for the both of us." he's staring into my eyes, "when you break up with someone, especially when you've been with them for a long ass time, you don't go back to them. No matter what the situation is. That's what's respectful. But can you handle that?"

I don't know what to say. And I hate the fact that he's right – I know I fucked up.

"I don't think I can handle that, no." I say truthfully, my voice feels small and now I feel small too, in front of him.

"Yeah, well, that's your fucking problem now." he leans back against the passenger seat and clears his throat.

"Why do you come back?" I whisper, fearing the answer.

"You said it yourself that day. It's the only way to have you at the moment. And I'm taking it." now there's pain in his voice, "but do you realise how toxic that is? That's draining us way more than our schedule did." he runs his fingers through his hair and looks out of the window.

"So what are we supposed to do?" I ask. I feel so dumb.

"As I said. Own up to your decision. I never wanted to break up with you, which is why I never did. You should be the one who stops any contact between us. Not me. If I could, I would, trust me on this one." there's an emptiness in his eyes that I can not quite comprehend what it means. It doesn't let me see through him like I usually do.

"Chris.. damn it, I can't." I whisper, tears fill up my eyes but he's not having any of it.

"No, fuck off. You're fucking selfish." he's getting angry now, the vein in his neck is popping out, hands turning into fists and his knuckles turning white.

Fuck. It seems like everything I say is wrong. I want to just scream and cry and run away.

"I am not selfish, Chris. I am stupid.." I can't stop the tears that fill up my eyes, "..I never wanted to end things with you, I promise. I thought that.. that was the only way for us to calm the fuck down.. we were jealous, and crazy, and toxic." I let my hands fall on his lap.

"And what we're doing now is not toxic? How do you think I feel coming back to you after you broke up with me, just so we can fuck and tell each other we hate each other?" his jaw is clenched and his eyes are turning lighter. He's about to cry.

"I am sorry, Chris. I cannot imagine that, no.. I just.. I made a mistake.. and I am deeply sorry. I am paying for it as well.. this whole time, I really thought you just didn't care.. otherwise I would've made a move way sooner." I explain as much as I can, I am fully crying now.

He's holding back as much as he can – he collects me in his arms for yet another comforting hug when he notices I practically can't breathe, "first of all, breathe for me, okay? I need you to be calm so we can solve this." he rubs my back soothingly and my heart almost jumps out of my chest, because that's exactly who I fell in love with. That's the Chris I knew.

He does make me calm down way faster than I thought. I wipe away my tears and collect a single tear that left his eye as well.

"I love you. I always will." I whisper, cupping his cheeks.

"You know I love you too." his voice is very low, "I cannot stop loving you."

"Do you want to try again?" I whisper timidly, "I will try my best to make you trust me again." I say and I mean it.

"Pretty girl.." he mumbles, grabbing my chin gently, caressing it, "..you better try your hardest, hm?" he whispers and I nod like a little kid, "I promise to make more time for us, we deserve it. You deserve it."

⠀

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itaerae · 27 days

Text

we can't be friends — zb1

pairing: zerobaseone x reader

synopsis: heartbreak is inevitable, but not everyone is able to move on.

word count: 1k

warnings: mild profanity, mentions of infidelity, drinking, angst, unrequited love, major character death ! (not proofread)

author's notes: i haven't been here in a while, i missed you all !! apologies in advance for the angsty comeback ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

—

jiwoong can't remember the last time he was able to think straight; the memories of you clouding his thoughts. jiwoong wonders where it all went wrong. ten months ago he would get the phone call that haunts him 'till this night. nightmares, he'd awaken with cold sweat dripping down his forehead; the event playing in his mind like a broken record. he remembers your ever so serene expression, the way your skin was already cold to the touch, the feeling of holding you in his arms one last time. looking down at the shot in his hand, he catches a sight of how a singular tear hits the surface of the glass. "fuck." the singular tear lead jiwoong into a sobbing mess.

zhang hao wonders if you've been well. after all, it was his fault for being in this situation. but what was a man supposed to do given his future or his first love. he catches himself staring at your contact on his phone often, too afraid to hit the call button. do you still think about him too ? do you even still remember him ? he can't erase the last time he ever got to see you, standing so close yet so far away. he wishes he could've gone back and wiped those tears off your face. truth is, zhang hao can't move on, not until he finds a way to reverse what he's done.

hanbin knows that he couldn't have done things differently, even if he tried. he couldn't make you view him as more than just a friend. was this just the consequence of growing up together ? he can't help but wonder why you were so blind to see that he's been here the whole time. he wants you tell you, he really does. but hanbin can't muster up the courage to tell you about his feelings; seeing the way your eyes, heart, and mind focused on another guy. hanbin knows it's wrong to wish the worst upon someone, yet the sting in his heart convinces him more than the rational thoughts in his mind.

matthew was at fault, he fucked up, he knew. he didn't deserve to feel this way, he couldn't help it. two weeks ago he was living the life; a stable career and the girl of his dreams. a week ago, he traded the latter away. he didn't mean to, you'd caught him off guard. matthew looked around the room; there in the mirror, he looked at himself. the red mark, still stinging, served as a reminder to matthew. he'd never been so disgusted with himself, choked sobs threatened to rise up his throat; but he knew he didn't deserve to cry. not anymore.

taerae wanted this breakup and you did too, it was mutual. or so he thought, until he couldn't stop thinking about you; often catching him self reminiscing the times you two shared. this was something he should be over, after all, he was the one who initiated it. yet taerae couldn't understand the way his heart clenched when he saw you again a year later, your hand intertwined with someone else. taerae was never a jealous person, so why did he feel this way now after he'd let you go ? it shattered him to see the way you didn't even look back at him, maybe he was hoping for too much.

ricky had rejected you when you first confessed your feelings to him. he wasn't interested at all and you understood. he thought all was good between you two. eventually ricky noticed you weren't around him as much anymore, he didn't want to admit it; he felt a sense of longing. he missed the way you'd take time to greet him or walk with him to classes. he missed the way you'd ask about his day, mad at himself for all the times he pushed you away. ricky didn't want to admit it; he wished he hadn't rejected you, disappointed in himself for not realizing sooner.

gyuvin couldn't help but feel guilty; he was already in a relationship, however his heart told him that he still wanted you. gyuvin had admired you from far away for so long, he felt sadness for his girlfriend; but she wasn't the one he desired. gyuvin wasn't sure why he was with her in the first place, the guilt eating him up near breaking point. it was you who had taken over his mind and heart, it had always been you. he was frustrated with himself, one day he'll manage to tell you the truth; for now he would have to resort to his current life. it was selfish of him, he knew. but what his girlfriend didn't know can't hurt her, right ?

gunwook was crushed. for a moment, he really thought he had you. he'd been yearning and was over the moon when you had confessed you liked him too. that quickly ended. gunwook didn't mean to eavesdrop on you and your friend and quite frankly, he wished he hadn't. it stung, your words crushed him more than he ever imagined. he was so sure that your relationship was solid, it felt surreal. with a heavy heart, clenched fists, and tears threatening to spill; gunwook listened to your last words, confirming he was nothing but a bet to you.

yujin liked you ever since he was little. in his eyes, you were the perfect babysitter; you also happened to be his older sister's best friend. yujin would see you around often, how couldn't he catch feelings for you ? maybe it was a bit delusional of him, but he thought surely you must've liked him too or thought fond of him, why else were you always around ? after years of waiting, yujin finally decided today was the day he wanted to tell you. he sat on the couch, anticipating your arrival, only to have his heart dropped seeing your arm interlocked with a guy. he felt all sort of emotions, betrayal was the biggest one. he was angry at you, angry at himself; yet he couldn't do anything but smile weakly as you introduced this new guy, blood pounding through his head.

taglist: @kpoprhia, @wonswife, @doobinnies, @chewryy, @watamotee33, @sstephenzz, @yuma-is-mine, @suneonu

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sopebubbles · 1 year

Text

Master List

Eight

Synopsis: in a world where alphas, betas, and omegas live along side modern humans as second class citizens, you've fallen through the cracks of a society that wants to take everything wonderful from you. Luckily a timely encounter with the boys just might save your life.

Chapter summary: Jin's form of leadership comes to bite him in the ass, and everyone will have something to say about it. Will they still follow him?

WC: 8k

Warnings: ANGST, fighting/yelling, swearing

Jimin's head snapped to attention when a knock at the door pulled him out of concentration. His coworker Nina poked her head inside.

"Jimin, there's a girl here to see you."

"I told Sana we would meet after lunch. I'm still trying to catch up on some paperwork from last week." Jimin looked bewilderedly at the stacks of papers cluttering his desk.

Nina shook her head. "It's not Sana. It's some girl named Y/N. Never seen her before. But I'll tell her to come back another time."

Jimin shot out of his chair the instant he heard your name. "No. Don't! I'll see her."

Nina paused as he opened the door to follow her. "I thought you were busy."

Jimin blushed and smiled. "This is important."

Nina gave him a playfully suspicious look before walking back to her desk. Jimin followed her and felt the tightness in his chest release when he saw you sitting in a chair, swinging your feet while you waited. Yoongi was right; you did seem like a little girl, especially the way you curled in on yourself.

"Y/N?" His voice was so quiet he wasn't sure you would hear him, but your head turned in his direction.

He'd been so thrilled by the news that you'd come that he hadn't stopped to think about why until he saw your wide eyes look at him from gaunt features. The last time he'd seen you, you were well fed, energetic, almost glowing. That might have just been the tail-end of the heat hormones, but you almost looked like a different person now. Your skin was ashen, with dark bags under your eyes. It was only a week since he saw you, but it looked like years on your face.

"Y/N," he repeated.

"Surprised to see me?" You asked as you got to your feet and approached the counter once again.

"Yes," he nodded. "But it's a good surprise." He wanted to launch into a million questions, but he hesitated. The last time he tried to really talk to you had backfired. He followed your gaze to Nina, who quickly looked away when she realized she was staring. "Come to my office so we can talk."

"I'm glad you came," he said as he closed the door behind you and gestured toward the chair in front of his desk. "Where have you been staying?"

You looked at your hands in your lap, but didn't answer. "How is Hoseok?"

Jimin tried to smile for you, but it was weak. "Hobi is fine. He's wondering where you've been. He was hoping you would stay. We all were."

"I don't think everyone was," you mumbled.

"What?"

"I know Seokjin was just trying to be polite. I would have just been in the way. It's better for everyone if you just pretend you never met me."

Jimin's heart sank. For a moment he had believed you came to him so he could take you home, but you wouldn't make things that easy. "So why did you come here?"

"You said you could help me find a job." He froze momentarily before sitting on his own chair. Was that really the only reason you had come? "I've been looking online for the last week and I just…" you looked up at him and he met your gaze expectantly. "I haven't had a lot of luck the last couple of years trying to pretend I'm Sap, but it's really hard to get a job I can manage when they know I'm omega. So, you said you knew people who would hire me…"

Jimin nodded knowingly. Unemployment was generally considered an alpha problem because many, if not most, omegas chose to stay at home, but that trend had been changing. Omegas faced a lot of stereotypes about not being able to handle physical work (which wasn't true) and for their frequent heat cycles, making employers view them as unreliable. On top of that, you were far from the only omega to not finish high school since the onset of heats made attendance difficult at best. While Jimin was all for omega empowerment, he couldn't help wishing you'd choose to just stay at home with Hoseok. But he was getting ahead of himself. Jimin clicked around on his screen for a moment before his printer began to whir.

"I have a list of businesses that hire omegas, and who give priority to people in your situation." Jimin grabbed the sheet of paper off the printer, but hesitated before handing it to you. "Would you reconsider coming back to the house?"

You sighed and shook your head. "I can't, Jimin."

"You really can. I know that maybe Jin didn't seem so keen, but Hoseok is worried. Yoongi–" he stopped himself from admitting that his alpha was a wreck, but he didn't think he imagined the glint in your eyes as the mention of his name. "He really wanted you to stay. So do I. We want you to be safe."

"It's nice of you to worry," you said, reaching for the paper. Jimin reluctantly handed over, feeling defeated. "I can take care of myself, though. I promise, I'll be fine."

When you stood up to leave, Jimin had the sinking feeling that you really wouldn't be, but there was little he could do about it. He couldn't lock you in this office until you agreed to come home with him. He sighed in resignation. "You can tell anyone on that list that I sent you and put me as a reference," he told you, picking up one of his business cards and scribbling his personal phone number on the back before he handed it to you. "And if you change your mind, you know where to find us. Our door is always open to you, Y/N."

"Thanks, Jimin," you smiled sadly.

He wanted to do something crazy, like ask you for a hug and maybe try to give you a proper scent mark so that you'd walk out of there with a bit of him, a bit of them. But he could only watch you go.

Yoongi drummed his fingers anxiously on the steering wheel as he drove to pick up Jimin from work. Normally the beta went to and from work with Namjoon or Jin, depending on their schedules, but today the pack alpha had sent a mysterious address to the group chat and told them to meet there after work. The location happened to be in the opposite direction of home from Namjoon's school, so Yoongi offered to pick Jimin up. He was more than happy to do it. He'd been feeling edgy all day with the house feeling so empty, everyone gone to work and even Hoseok mysteriously missing from the house in the afternoon, taking Taehyung with him. Your absence rang from every corner of the quiet house, mocking him.

When he pulled up outside the shelter, Jimin was chatting casually with some alpha teens in front of the building. He flashed Yoongi a crooked smile, and not the endearing kind, but the troubled kind; the kind that let the alpha know immediately that something was off with his younger mate. He cut the engine and stepped out of the car.

"Hey, Yoongi!" One of the young men on the sidewalk called as he stepped up on the curb and held out an arm for a greeting. Yoongi clasped his hand and bumped his shoulder. "Where you been? Missed you on the court."

Yoongi grimaced. Playing with the kids was one of his favorite things to do with his free days. Jimin liked to act like it was some sort of mentoring program; and maybe it was, but it was very informal. Just a few hours playing around and maybe every now and then Yoongi managed a conversation with one of them and was able to give them some advice, but it wasn't a big deal. Nonetheless, Jimin knew it meant a lot to the young alphas to have Yoongi spend some time with them and treat them like people, something that was frequently absent from their daily interactions, as you well knew. He also knew Yoongi enjoyed it beyond the game.

"Sorry, man. I promise I'll come by later this week," Yoongi told him and meant it. He turned his eyes to Jimin. "Everything okay?"

The beta nodded. "C'mon, let's go."

Yoongi opened the car door for Jimin, then nodded to the guys still standing around before he walked around to the driver's side. He started the engine and pulled into traffic before either of them spoke another word. Silent minutes stretched before them, but Yoongi couldn't take it.

"Are you afraid to kiss me in front of your clients?" Yoongi asked, half joking, although he'd usually get at least a kiss on the cheek from Jimin when he first saw him, even if it was on those afternoons he showed up at the shelter.

"Of course not, hyung," Jimin answered lightly but didn't look in his direction.

Yoongi reached out his hand to take Jimin's. "Then can you tell me what's wrong?" He asked with a kiss to the back of his hand.

Jimin's fingers tightened around him and he cleared his throat. "I saw her."

Yoongi came to an abrupt stop a couple meters short of where he meant to at the red light.

"Y/N?"

Jimin nodded. "She came to see me at the shelter."

Yoongi turned his head to look out the rear window. "Is she–? Did she–? Is she staying there?" He finally managed to ask, when he really wanted to ask why you weren't in the car with him right now going back home.

Jimin swallowed. "She's too old, hyung," he reminded his alpha and watched him sink back into his seat. "Besides, she said she wouldn't come back with me. She thinks…she thinks it's for the best, and that we were just being polite."

Yoongi leaned his head back against the rest and a thousand protests died on his lips. Jimin didn't need to hear them. "Do you know where she's staying?"

A car honked as they sat in front of a green light and Yoongi slowly pressed on the accelerator. "She wouldn't say, but that makes me think it's the same shelter as before."

"Shit," Yoongi muttered.

"I'm sorry, hyung. I should have found a way to make her stay. I should've called you. I just…it all happened so fast."

Yoongi spared him a quick glance. "Jimin, did you think I'd be mad at you?"

Jimin squirmed. "Not mad…"

Yoongi laid his hand on Jimin's smaller one again. "Jimin, of course I'm not upset with you. I know you couldn't hold her there. If she wasn't willing to come, that would only scare her, and the last thing we need is for her to be scared of the least intimidating member of our pack."

"I'm going to try not to be insulted by that, hyung."

Yoongi smiled in spite of himself. "Damn. Okay. I mean, it sucks. You know I want to find her. But this is good. We know more than we did. At least she knows where to find you if she's in trouble but—oh! Is she in trouble? Why did she come to you?"

"She's not in trouble as far as I can tell. She just remembered that I said I could help her find a job, so she came to see me. It seemed like maybe she was ready to stop pretending to not be Lykos." Jimin almost sounded proud.

"And?"

"I don't know. All I could really do was give her a list of places I knew are usually hiring and tell her she could use me as a reference."

Yoongi nodded thoughtfully. "That's good. If anyone calls you trying to hire her we might be able to find her," he said, mostly mumbling to himself.

"Hyung?"

Yoongi pulled to a stop in front of a large, yellow house. Jungkook and Namjoon pulled up right behind him in the police cruiser. They all stepped out at the same time, sharing a glance before turning their curious and confused eyes toward the property. Yoongi noticed the realtors sign in front with the bold red "SOLD" sign. His stomach flipped.

"What the hell?" He muttered in a low growl before he made for stairs up to the porch, trodding carelessly over the green lawn. Stomping up the steps, he knocked loudly on the front door.

Hoseok answered the door with a beaming, heart-shaped smile. "Welcome home!"

Jimin watched Yoongi's jaw clench, and he was certain that if it had been anyone but Hobi who answered the door, Yoongi would already be on a tirade. Jimin reached out to grab his elbow, silently telling him to stay calm but also reminding the alpha that he was there as they stepped over the threshold of the house.

"What is this, Hobi?" Yoongi barely restrained his growl, but his discontent was clear. He moved further through the entryway into what would be the living room only to let the others inside.

"This is our new home," Jin said, standing at the counter where the open concept living room and kitchen blended. Yoongi opened his mouth to speak, but Jin cut him off. "Before you start, let me show you around first. There's so much more room. There's a detached garage where Taehyung can do his painting. There are also three bedrooms upstairs. The master bedroom is absolutely massive. Wait till you see. And plenty of room for the kids," Jin rambled on, setting one foot on the first stair, ready for them all to follow him up.

"Jin," Yoongi said the syllable firmly without raising his voice.

The older man froze and looked down at him in frustration. "Can you at least look around before you get upset."

"So you understand that I'm upset?" Yoongi asked calmly.

"You're always upset about something," Jin mumbled in response.

"That's not true, Jin. And that isn't the point."

"Then what is the point, Yoongi?"

"Did you buy this house?" He asked through his tight jaw.

Yoongi's citrus went bitter, stinging their noses, and Jin swallowed but stood firm. "Yes. Hobi and I came to look at the house yesterday and made an offer. The seller was highly motivated and we signed the papers a few hours ago."

"You and Hobi? And who else was involved in this decision?" Yoongi demanded, casting his gaze momentarily at the omega.

"No one. Hobi liked the house, and I bought it."

"Oh, Hobi liked it, so that's all that matters," Yoongi threw his hands up and walked toward the back door.

"Yoongi, it's really a great house. Just take a look," Hoseok tried to persuade him.

"I don't care about the house!" Yoongi snapped.

"Don't yell at me!" Hoseok snapped back, stepping closer, but Jin came off the staircase to get between them.

"How could you two do this?"

"I know you hate change, Yoongi, but–"

"This isn't about not wanting to change!"

"Then what is it about, Yoongi?" Jin tried hard to keep his calm.

"It's about you deciding we're all going to move suddenly, like we're just pieces of furniture in your house."

"Yoongi, Jin and I have been looking for a house for months," Hoseok reminded him.

"I know. But I always assumed when you got serious about buying one you would consult us. How can you just make a huge decision like this for all of us?" Hoseok balked at the betrayal in Yoongi's eyes.

Jin's chest puffed out before he spoke. "We made the decision we thought was best for everyone."

Yoongi shook his head. "Your un-fucking-believable, Seokjin." Jin let out an exasperated sigh. "What gives you the right to treat us like this?"

Jin growled low. "I'm your pack alpha. It's my right to make the decisions I think are best for this pack. You're just upset because you wish you were pack alpha over me."

Yoongi stared him straight in the eyes as he spoke. "I don't, Jin. I don't want to be your pack alpha. I just want to be treated with a little respect." He took a step closer to where he had to look up to keep eye contact. "But if I were the leader of this pack, I'd do a hell of a lot better job than you've been doing lately."

"Yoongi," Namjoon finally stepped in, his voice a warning that Yoongi did not want to heed.

"You think this is easy?" Jin snarled back.

"It's not meant to be easy! But you see it as a set of privileges when it's meant to be a set of responsibilities!"

"I am trying to be responsible! I'm trying to build a proper home for our children!"

"Damn it! That's the problem! For your children. Because you're so ego-maniacally focused on these kids you don't even have yet that you don't give a shit about what you're doing to the pack you have right now!"

"That's not true, Yoongi," Hoseok jumped in.

Yoongi held up his hand. "Don't defend him, Hoseok. For the last year you've been catering to him instead of facing the fact that he's changed."

"I've-"

"You used to be so caring about all of us. You had such a big heart when I met you. You were so open and that's why I fell for you. You made me feel so safe. You brought Jimin into your home without a second thought. But now I don't even recognize you. You don't care, do you?"

"That's not fair, Y–"

"You don't care that Tae will have to walk outside at night to get to his studio when his nightmares keep him up? Or that this house is so far from Jungkook's station? Or that you're taking me and Jimin out of the most stable home we've ever known without even asking us? Or-"

"Yoongi," Hoseok gasped, chagrined at the alphas slipped admission.

"No. Fuck this. I'm leaving." Yoongi hung his head in defeat and shouldered past Namjoon to get to the front door.

"Hyung, wait!" Jimin called, going after him.

"Jimin–"

"Give me your keys. You're not driving angry like this," the beta reasoned. Yoongi gave them up without a fight and stormed out of the house. The door shut with a thud of finality.

Jin swallowed in the silence that followed before he spoke. "Let's go see the rest of the house." He turned toward the stairs, and Namjoon made to follow.

"Kim Seokjin." He froze at the frigid tone of Hobi's voice.

"He's just pouting, Hobi. He'll get over it," Jin said over his shoulder.

"Jin," he said more loudly this time. "He is our packmate. And he is just asking us to listen to him. Now you're going to take me home and listen."

When Jin and Hobi arrived at the house the first floor was dark except for the sliver of light underneath the closed door to the spare room, but they could hear Yoongi's angry footsteps upstairs. Hoseok rushed up the stairs ahead of his mate to find Yoongi rummaging through drawers, pulling out shirts he thought were his. It had become difficult to tell the difference between yours, mine and ours. Five years together had made their lives enmeshed in the most intimate and simple ways.

"What are you doing?" Hoseok asked softly from the door.

"Making it easier for you all to move without me," Yoongi mumbled as he closed one drawer and opened another.

Hoseok's voice trembled as his hands did. "What do you mean?"

"If it's easy to make the decision to move without even asking then it doesn't matter if I go with you, right? So I'm taking my stuff, and you can take the rest."

"Yoongi, that's not true," his omega said, stepping closer to try to stop his hands.

"Hoseok, back off."

He let out a small whimper. "We made a mistake. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking, but I know I was wrong, okay? Please, let's sit down and talk about it calmly."

Yoongi held still, trying his best to resist acting out. He wouldn't get violent. He wouldn't get physical no matter how much he felt like exploding. Not to Hobi. "I don't feel calm right now. I need you to give me some space and let me do this."

"No!" He whined. "Don't do this! Don't leave us, please?"

"Who's leaving who, Hobi?!"

"It's not like that, Yoongi, honestly."

"Don't you think you're being a bit dramatic?" Jin said from the door.

A growl started in Yoongi's chest when his eyes fell on the alpha.

"It's just a house, Yoongi," he added.

"Maybe to you. Maybe to you it's just a place to live."

"What else is it then Yoongi?" Hoseok asked, desperate to understand what was going on in his head.

Yoongi sighed and hung his head back to stare at the ceiling. "You guys are so privileged. You don't get it. You grew up in homes that were yours, where you were born and where you belonged. Then you came here to live in your own home. You take it for granted that wherever you go to live will be your home. You don't know what I know. What Jimin and Y/N and even Tae knows! Do you get that this is the only place I've ever felt I belonged? That until I came to live here and you accepted me, that I was only ever a guest wherever I was? Do you know what living with that kind of insecurity is like? This is the only place I've ever felt safe and you've just taken that from me."

"It will be the same at the new house, Yoongi," Hoseok spoke softly. "It will be your home."

"How can I know that? When it feels like you don't want me there because if you did you would have asked about my feelings before making such a huge decision? I feel so unsafe with you both right now. So if it seems like I'm acting childish, maybe I am, but I feel so out of control right now. And if that's how I feel, how do you think she will–" Yoongi's voice died.

"Y/N?" Hoseok asked after a heavy silence.

"She's gone, Yoongi," Jin reminded him and received a black, watery glare in return.

"She's not. Jimin saw her today. She's not ready to live with us but she went to Jimin for help, so she might. Only if she comes here, we'll be gone. And what would she think except that your offer to stay meant nothing and that there is no place that's safe. You're pack alpha. You're supposed to make us safe."

Jin watched Yoongi as he ranted and felt his anger soften. The man was right, he hadn't considered those things at all. If he was being honest he hadn't cared if Yoongi or the others disagreed with their choice of home, but he hadn't even considered that they might have such a strong reaction. The new house was a better one, and he thought that would be all that mattered. When he finally responded, he spoke as softly as he could. "Yoongi, I didn't mean to make you feel that way. Honestly, I didn't know that it would matter that much, and I'm sorry. But you're safe and you belong in our new home just as much as you do here."

Yoongi scoffed. "A year ago I might have believed you."

"What do you mean?" Jin questioned and didn't miss the way Hoseok's back stiffened.

"You've been pushing us all out ever since you started trying to get Hobi pregnant," Yoongi accused.

"Not this again."

"Yes, this again! Every time Hobi goes into heat you treat the rest of us like we're less important than you. Like you're the main character and we're all just the supporting cast."

"Because he's my husband! He's my omega! This is my pack! If you hate it that much then go find Y/N and start your own! See if I care!"

"Jin!" Hoseok cried as if in pain.

"Fine! I will!"

"Yoongi, no! Both of you stop it. Don't say shit you don't mean. No one is leaving. Fuck!" Hoseok stepped close to Yoongi and cradled the alpha's face in his hands. "Please, baby. Don't leave me. I swear. We can work this out. Calm down, please." A tear dropped down Yoongi's cheek, and Hoseok wiped it away with his thumb. Yoongi wrapped his hands gently around his wrists and pulled his hands away.

"I'm sorry, Hobi. I just…" his eyes flickered to Jin. "I just need some space right now."

He took the bag he had been filling with random t-shirts that may or may not have been his and walked past Hoseok, past Jin and down the stairs. He didn't know how much they heard, but Namjoon, Tae and Jungkook all stared at him as he moved quickly through the living room toward the spare room, which Jimin had been readying for both of them to sleep in.

The others slowly made their way upstairs to see their pack alpha and omega. It wasn't particularly that they wanted to comfort Jin and Hobi, but they all knew there was nothing they could do for Yoongi at the moment, and none of them had gotten the chance to say their piece yet. They found Hoseok sitting on the edge of the bed facing the window that looked out onto the street, while Jin remained by the door, both speechless and not acknowledging the other.

"Are you here to leave us, too?" Jin asked bitterly.

"Hyung, don't get angry with us. Especially when you're the one who caused this," Jungkook spoke softly. Despite being the youngest, he had known Jin longer than anyone, except Hoseok, and he wasn't afraid to tell him the truth.

"I'm the bad guy for wanting to give my family a better home?"

"No, hyung," Namjoon answered as he sat on the corner of the mattress, facing his alpha. "But at any point did you even think to ask us what any of us thought would make a better home for all of us?"

"We've been looking for a long time and none of you have ever said anything," Jin defended.

"You and Hobi have been looking," Taehyung corrected. "You show him things you're looking at. Maybe we should've spoken up before, but we didn't know how. Honestly I've been kind of terrified of what's going to happen and then…this was kind of sudden."

Hoseok turned to see his youngest alpha with a tear-streaked face. "What are you afraid of Tae?"

He sank down onto the bed beside his omega, facing him and letting the contact of their legs sooth his fraying nerves just a bit. "I guess…I don't really know what's going to happen when you eventually have Jin's baby. I'm not sure what it's going to mean for the rest of us."

"What do you mean? It will be everyone's baby. It will only add to our pack," Jin told them, a little shocked by Taehyung's implication.

"Then why does it matter so much if the baby is yours? Why can't it be any of ours? Mine or Namjoon's or Jimin's? If nothing will change between all of us, then why has so much changed already?" Tae wondered in a shaky voice.

"We're still a pack. Nothing has changed. We'll still be a pack," Jin tried to assure him.

"With all due respect, Jin, only you, Hobi and Jungkook know what it's like to have a pack this big." Namjoon shrugged. "The rest of us don't know what happens to other partners when a couple has a baby. We've just been following your lead, and it seems like…I don't know. We get pushed to the edge?"

Hoseok choked down a whine. He didn't know why, but he'd known his husband was struggling for months with his feelings about having a child. When he couldn't get Jin to talk about it, he decided just to support him in any way he could. That had mostly meant going along with his ideas and boosting his confidence. He hadn't realized how much he had been neglecting his other pack members. Suddenly it made so much more sense that Jungkook, Yoongi and Taehyung had been spending so many nights outside his nest when he realized they didn't feel as welcome there.

Hoseok reached out to grip the back of Tae's neck and meet his eyes. "Tae, baby, your home will always be with us. And I'm so so sorry for not making that clear enough, and for not discussing it with you before we made such a big decision."

Tae smiled weakly and wrapped his arms around the omegas middle to bring him closer. It was far from making everything better, but he still appreciated being told explicitly that he was still wanted. "Things might change when you have Jin's baby," he said, not able to keep the worry from his voice even though he kept it quiet.

"Why is everyone so obsessed with the fact that it will be my baby?" Jin grumbled.

"Why are you so obsessed, hyung? You said the baby will be all of ours, so why does it have to be you?" Jungkook reiterated the question they could never get a straight answer for.

"I have a family line to uphold. I know you all don't understand that, but it's important!" Jin cried out, finally cracking under the crushing weight of that pressure.

"Is it more important than not alienating your pack? Is your family–which already has a whole group of kids to carry on its name–is it more important than the one we've spent a decade building?" Hoseok asked, looking at Jin for the first time since Yoongi had left the room.

"No. Of course not," Jin sighed.

"Since when was it ever important to you anyway?"

"Well, you are my husband. Shouldn't your first child be mine?"

"You didn't answer the question, Jin," Hoseok said sternly, crossing his arms.

"Fine! It's never been important to me. But it is important to them! And I thought maybe if I could prove to my mother that I'm a proper pack alpha then for once she wouldn't look at me like a huge failure!" The loudness of his voice got away from him even though he felt relief for finally getting that off his chest.

"I cannot believe this is about your mother!" Hoseok shouted back. "You're going to risk losing Jimin and Yoongi over your mother, who has never treated you the way that she should?"

"What do you mean lose Jimin?" Jin asked seriously.

"Look around, Jin. Where do you think he is right now? Do you honestly believe that if Yoongi goes, Jimin won't go with him?" Jungkook asked. The thought caused him a great deal of pain. Everyone relied on Jimin, more than he probably knew. But he understood, because even if Jin was being a complete ass, Jungkook knew he would stick with him, too.

"Who else wants to go with them?" Jin looked around the room. Half expecting to see every hand raised.

"No one wants to go, hyung. Not even Yoongi," Tae told him. "We just want to know it matters if we stay."

Jin rushed to sit behind Tae on the bed, covering the younger man's back with his chest. "Of course, Tae. Of course it matters. I would never want to live without any of you," he promised. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being the pack alpha you deserved and for making you think you weren't important to me. Hobi, I'm sorry for causing all this drama and putting you in the middle of it. I never meant to. I was just-"

"A spoiled brat."

Jin sighed and flopped back into the nest on his back. "Yeah. And I need Yoongi, too. To put me in my place when I'm clearly out of line and out of touch."

Jungkook crawled onto the bed to where his leader rested and pulled back his bangs to lay a kiss on his forehead. "We can all do that. But you do have to apologize to Yoongi…if you want him to come with us."

Jin looked sadly into the betas eyes. "Of course I want him to come with us. How would we manage without him?"

"What if he won't come?" Namjoon asked. "What if…I think she's more important to him than we are."

Hoseok still faced away from the group, but spoke clearly. "She's not. He just knows she needs him, more than we do. Or at least, more than we've been showing him. Jin needs a baby and Yoongi needs that omega if we're ever going to have any peace."

"Hobi–"

"Everyone get out."

"Hobi, wait–"

"You're in my nest with your work clothes on. Get up. Go get some pizzas because I don't have time to cook tonight. Get cleaned up before you think about crawling in here again."

Hoseok's boys didn't wait to be told twice before moving and getting out of his way.

Yoongi entered the spare room while Jimin was in the bathroom and flopped onto the bed. The beta had used the blankets from your brief nest to make the bed more cozy. Your sweet apple scent was fading, but he took a deep breath in while he could.

"I'm sorry, it's not a proper nest," Jimin said from the door to the bathroom. It could never be a real nest unless it was made by an omega.

Yoongi raised his hand in the air toward Jimin. "It will be great if you come down here with me."

Jimin did as he was bid and cuddled into his usual spot, draping his body half way over his hyung's. Yoongi took a deep breath of him, lavender and apples and regrets.

"I don't like hearing them fight," Yoongi said after several minutes.

"I know. But it's not your fault. It had to happen eventually," Jimin reassured him.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, hyung."

"I'm acting like I know all the right things to do, but right now I don't know. I don't–" Yoongi tried to hold a sob that was caught in his throat. "I don't want to leave, Jimin. Truly. I love it here so much. I love them. All of them. Even Jin. Even when he's being the world's biggest asshole. But he–"

Jimin stroked his hand along Yoongi's chest to calm his breathing. "It's okay, Yoongi. I trust you. Whatever decision you make, I'll be with you. If there really isn't room for you and me anymore, we'll find our own place. We'll find Y/N. We'll make a home together."

Yoongi pulled Jimin tighter to him and sobbed into his shoulder, whispering repeated apologies while Jimin tried to hush him until they fell asleep just like that.

It had killed Yoongi to leave Jimin in the middle of the night to go to work, but he'd made it through the shift with that hollow, numb feeling left in your chest after you've expelled all your other emotions. He didn't realize how many had actually been boiling in his chest and for how long until he finally got them out. He hoped that he'd make it home in time to drive Jimin to work, but when he arrived, only Jin and Hobi were in the kitchen. Their eyes met with his briefly before he ducked into the spare room and shut the door. He knew he'd have to speak to them eventually, but he wasn't ready yet. The raw anger caused by built-up hurts that he let explode yesterday was gone. He almost didn't feel angry at all anymore. But all the hurt was still there, but while he couldn't tell them how to fix it, talking to each other would only risk inflicting more harm. He showered quickly before he sank into bed and fell asleep surrounded by the scent of you.

When he woke in the afternoon he laid in bed and listened to the soft sound of Hobi's footsteps moving from room to room, already organizing to move their whole lives across town. The papers had already been signed. The decision wouldn't be changed. It was fine. Yoongi got up and changed into basketball shorts and an old extra large t-shirt (which was in fact Namjoon's), slipped on his basketball shoes and walked straight from the bedroom out the door before he could be caught out by anyone.

Yoongi kept his basketball in his car because he was always ready for a pick up game. He tended to have a relatively new one at any given time because when all the balls at the shelter inevitably wandered off, he would leave his and go straight to buy a new one or two. He picked up the ball from the floorboard of the backseat where it wouldn't roll around too much and headed into the shelter.

Nina, or anyone else who might be working, never stopped to ask him what he needed anymore as he strolled past the desk. She merely offered a pleasant 'hello, how ya been?' And let him be on his way. He went straight back to Jimin's office first.

"Come in," Jimin said quietly when Yoongi knocked on his door. The alpha could see the exhaustion on his face as soon as he walked in. "Hey," he smiled tiredly, but he was genuinely relieved to see the man.

"Hey, sweetheart. How are you?" Yoongi went around the desk to give him a hug they both needed. He nuzzled Jimin's head under his chin, making sure to give him a good scent marking like he had intended to do this morning.

"I'm alright. Just tired."

Yoongi crouched down to examine the beta's face more closely. There were dark bags under his eyes and an unfamiliar frown on the usually happy man's lips. "Did you sleep after I left last night?"

"Off and on," Jimin shrugged and continued when he saw Yoongi breathe in to speak. "And before you say sorry to me one more time, don't! You're banned from apologizing for anything."

Yoongi closed his mouth to pout for a second before he asked, "for how long?"

"Until you've done something you need to apologize for. And that doesn't include going to work or leaving me on my own for a few hours. I'm a big boy, Yoongi."

"Well…:

"Don't even start, hyung!"

Yoongi chuckled and pulled him in for a chaste kiss before he stood. Leaning against the desk, he took a look around Jimin's small office. "Anything interesting happen today?"

Jimin knew what he meant to ask, but he hadn't seen or heard from you. "Not today."

"Okay then." Yoongi did his best not to sound disappointed. "I'm going to go shoot some hoops for a while and then I'll drive you home. Make sure you tell Joon." Jimin hummed, and Yoongi turned to leave but stopped and hesitated a moment before he asked, "How was it this morning? I wanted to drive you but–"

Jimin waved his hand dismissively. "It was fine Yoon, don't worry. We didn't talk or anything, but we don't normally talk much on the way to work."

Yoongi grinned. "Neither of you are morning people."

"I'm literally amazed we make it to work every morning," Jimin agreed.

When Yoongi got to the basketball court it was empty. It was unusual, but not a total shock. It was really a lovely spring day out and if the kids wanted to soak up some of the sun's energy, that was perfectly understandable. He didn't mind playing alone for a bit until someone came in; they eventually would. He stretched before warming up a little and practicing his free throws. There was something calming about having a basketball in his hands. No matter where or when, the feel of the ball at his fingertips never changed. No matter where he moved to or who was around to play, there was always a court, always a game. If it wasn't for basketball he might not have met Jimin at the court where Jimin went to meet his friends even though he never played.

He let his mind wander as he dribbled and shot, all according to muscle memory. There was too much on his mind for it to completely go silent, but he let the thoughts run through him instead of trying to control him, and by the time someone came to break up his solo practice, Yoongi had a plan.

Earlier in the morning, Jungkook and Taehyung had gone to get moving boxes and soft packing materials. Since then, Jungkook had gone to work and Tae was responsible for getting his painting room packed and cleaned, leaving Hoseok alone in the kitchen carefully packing dishes with one eye on the front door and the other on the clock, just waiting for his packmates to come home.

When Jin comes home first, he can't help but feel a short pang of disappointment. He'd been dying to see Yoongi all day, just to be able to look at him and know he was doing better. Even though he knew that was probably too much to expect. Even though he didn't feel like he should be forgiven yet.

He couldn't believe how thoughtless they had been—how inconsiderate he had been. When Jin first took him to the house, Hoseok fell in love immediately. He could imagine them all there so easily and picture how their lives would blossom and thrive there. He even pictured you there. There were two smaller bedrooms down the hall from the master suite. One would make a charming room for the children, and the other would be a perfect room for you, at least until you got more comfortable with them. There was space for everyone and Hoseok just wanted it so badly. They moved too fast, but it all seemed to fall into place so perfectly. He had overlooked any immediate concerns in view of the future happiness they would all have, and now he felt terrible for it. Knowing he was complicit in how things played out was the only thing keeping him from being cold toward Jin. Even though he still didn't fully understand Jin's own motivations and wasn't ready to talk about it, he knew it wasn't all Jin's fault. And it wasn't only Yoongi that he needed to make amends to, although the others he felt certain he could placate with plenty of TLC and reassurance. What he didn't know now was whether Yoongi would even give him the chance. And then there was Jimin, who hadn't said a word and hid himself away. Hoseok wasn't sure quite what the beta was feeling, but he knew that when he found things too difficult to face, he tended to hide behind Yoongi and let the alpha speak for him.

Hoseok's focus snapped to the door the instant it opened again and was relieved to see his two smallest packmates enter together. Yoongi met his eyes and he couldn't help brightening up just a bit. At least they'd come home. Jimin went straight to the kitchen where Hoseok was wrapping bowls in paper and washed his hands. After he dried them, Jimin hugged his back. Hosek froze for a split second at the unexpected contact before he melted into Jimin.

"Do you want me to order dinner tonight? I've been craving Chinese all day," Jimin said, nuzzling the omegas back in a way that made him want to purr.

"That sounds great, Jiminie," he smiled and missed him the moment the beta let go. Jimin didn't go far though, only pulled out a chair and sat at the kitchen table.

Yoongi took a bowl from the stack on the table and a piece of brown paper and began to wrap it carefully, but Hoseok laid his hand over Yoongi's.

"You don't have to help," he said softly.

Yoongi paused and looked him in the eyes for a long moment. "Am I still a part of this pack?"

"Of course you are."

"And I'm still one of your alphas?"

"Always, Yoongi," Hoseok assured him.

He shrugged and began wrapping again. "Then of course I'm helping. You need me. I'm an expert mover."

"Yoongi, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to exclude you. I was thoughtless and I'm really so sorry," he rushed out, unable to go another second without at least trying to put things right.

Yoongi gave him a half smile. He bit back the knee-jerk 'it's okay' because they both knew it wasn't. "Apology accepted. I'm sorry for flipping out."

Hoseok shook his head. "It was a big deal and you reacted the only way you could."

Yoongi sank into a chair and covered his face with his hand. "I felt like a stupid teenager, yelling at my mom because I didn't know what else to do."

Hoseok frowned and reached for his hand. "I feel terrible that we triggered that for you."

"It's alright, Hobi. What you and Jin did was shitty, but I think I was brewing for a while. I should've noticed last week with how upset I got over Y/N, but I think going to her old apartment set me off. My mom and I lived in a few places like that, and those were the most chaotic times of my life."

"I'm sorry, my love," Hobi said again, stroking his hand.

Yoongi laughed and looked at Jimin, who was already looking at him. He ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, I get it now." Jimin grinned back, but Hoseok only looked confused. "No more apologies, Hobi. I've already forgiven you. It's done."

Hoseok pouted for a moment. He didn't feel like he'd said enough. "I have to say sorry to Jimin, too. I should've thought more about your feelings."

Jimin shrugged. "I know you won't let it happen again.

Hoseok nodded and continued. "I need you to know you'll always be a part of this pack. I shouldn't have been in such a rush, but you have to know that it was because I could see how happy we could all be there. I even have Y/N's room picked out already."

Yoongi's back straightened. "Y/N's room?"

"Yeah. I don't know how you would, but I just feel like you'll definitely find her, and she has to be part of our pack."

Yoongi felt the slightest twinge of possessiveness, wanting you to be only his. But his fingers tightened around the omega's. "Thanks, Hobi."

"Does that mean you'll move with us?" Jin asked softly as he entered the kitchen.

Yoongi looked at Hoseok and shook his head. "Not yet. I think I should stay here a while."

"When I saw her yesterday, I told her that if she needed anything she could come here. Yoongi and I want to stay for a while to see if she comes," Jimin explained the plan Yoongi had discussed in the car. Even though they accepted Hoseok's apology and wanted to stay with the pack, they knew they still needed some time to cool loff from the hurt their packmates had caused, and waiting for you would help, especially if you actually did show up like they hoped.

Jin nodded thoughtfully before meeting Yoongi's eyes. "That's fine. The house is already listed, but you can stay until it sells. And in the meantime I'll do anything I can to win your trust back. I hope you know how sorry I am for how I've made you feel."

Yoongi nodded but said nothing, knowing that trust could only be built with time.

A/n: i am the tiniest bit sorry about mc being basically absent this chapter. But all in good time i swear. 💜

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caeunot · 5 months

Text

johnnie guilbert x reader

getting your lip pierced and him accompanying u!!

➷ you have always wanted to get snake bites since you were a kid but you also happened to be terrified of needles. johnnie noticed the jealousy in your face when one of your friends got it done and since he also had some experience with lip piercings he thought he would be able to help you get some !!

"hey baby you know you would look so good with snake bites" johnnie says as he puts his arms around you from behind and kisses your neck. "you know I've been thinking it over lately.. fuck I wish I wasn't such a baby when it came to needles" you turn around to face him and scrunch your face up. "what if I help you! I could hold your hand while you get it done and look after you and the piercing with extra care!" "are you sure? I don't want to be a burden.."

he takes your face in his hands and gives you a kiss. "y/n you will never be a burden okay?" you smile and hug him tight and he gently grabs your hair.

a week later and he's driving you to your favorite food place to eat something good since your lips will hurt for awhile after they are pierced. he sees your nerves and puts his hand on your thigh. once you two have eaten your fill you start asking him a bunch of questions about the healing process and the pain, which you already researched all about but you needed extra confirmation to ease your nerves, thankfully Johnnie acted as if it was the first time you have ever asked him this and gave forward answers.

as you two get out of the car he immediately takes your hand in his and gives it a squeeze as if to say 'you got this'. "hello can I get snake bites please", "no problem! please lie down over here then" the piercer advises and you gulp and look johnnie in the eyes. "your okay darling your fine deep breathes! think about how sick u will look once it's done kay?" you nod and lie down, still holding onto his hand

the moment the first needle goes in you feel johnnie using his thumb to gently caress your hand to calm you. once the second needle goes in you feel awful and all of a sudden everything goes black....

you wake up in the back of johnnie car laying on his lap. "fuck your finally awake!! I was so worried y/n please never do that to me again" as you sit up he immediately goes in for a strong hug and dugs his head into your neck.

"what happened...?" you say as the long hug ends but his hands still haven't stopped holding onto you. "you passed out when the second needle went in! they had to put the piercing in while you were blacked out.. they say you should have woken up immediately after but you didn't.. I was so worried y/n I thought I was going to lose you I promise I'll never encourage you to do anything your scared of ever again i-" you interrupt him by giving him a soft kiss.

after you start feeling a bit better you check yourself out in the car mirror and to be honest you looked really good. "do u think it suits me?" you ask johnnie. "is that even a question. you were the most beautiful girl ever before but this is on a whole other level, at this point you could be classified as a goddess"

"oh shut up" you say with a giggle as you take his free hand in your own and hold it tight

❣

#johnnie guilbert #johnnie guilbert x reader #jake and johnnie #johnnie guilbert fluff

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gwynfahr · 5 months

Text

Lying down on the bed, you're half listening to the litany of praise and pure filth coming out of Jordan's mouth non-stop.

How could you pay attention when she has two fingers attacking your G-spot with a concerning precision ? They've been at it for a while now, getting you so close and stopping right when you're about to come. And there she is with her condescending smile, nodding sweetly "I know, baby, I know. It feels so good you can't take it ?" their head cocks to the side and she adds "But you asked for it, asked for me to overwhelm your little pussy until you can' think anymore... Do you know why ?" the question is asked through clenched teeth.

Her movements speed up and she adds pressure to your clit, her left hand forcing your stuttering hips to stay still on the mattress. You think you might die from the way they've been at it for an hour now.

And then suddenly they take their fingers out and you really cry over the lack of stimulation as you were so close once again.

Jordan lands a slap to your core and you let out a wounded little whimper. "Answer the question baby, or you won't get to come at all."

It takes some time before you're even able to remember the question, but when you do, you answer with a little voice. "You're doing this because I haven't been taking care of myself properly. And I've been overthinking too much."

"That wasn't so hard now, was it ? You need to take care of yourself, baby. Or daddy won't make you come. You just need someone to wear you out so your little brain can finally sleep correctly. I can do that." she adds, her eyebrows raising as she looks up at your tear streaked face begging her to let you finish.

You might have a chance to make her fold right now if you play correctly. You pout a bit, doe eyes in full force "Please daddy, I'm so sorry, please let me come, I want it so bad."

They crack, obviously, they could never handle the doe eyes with the begging. Her hand goes back to your cunt and she asks while rubbing your clit excruciatingly slow "And you'll take care of yourself ? Drink and sleep and eat ? Stop being so stressed over things you can't even do anything about ?" you nod fervently "Yes ! Yes yes yes I swear it ! Please..."

Jordan smiles proudly kissing your thigh "good girl". Then her mouth is on you, fingers back in your cunt fingering you fast and efficient as she sucks your clit into her mouth and you can't help but moan loudly, fisting the bed sheets in your hands. You try to close your legs instinctively but Jordan's strong shoulders keep them open, leaving you forced to take it, the pressure building up and up and up-

"That's it, good girl, good fucking girl" she says as she drinks up your release while you ride out your orgasm on her fingers. Little moans and whimpers coming out of your mouth.

When you come back from your high, you kiss you partner, who then looks at you with a gentle gaze "You need to take proper care of yourself, baby. The finals are in two weeks, and you studied like a mad woman already, you can't pull all-nighters every nights, alright ?".

You nod as you press yourself closer to them, cuddling on the bed with your head in her neck, inhaling your partner's scent. You listen to their heartbeat as they switch to their male form, strong arms holding you close. "I love you Jordan."

"I love you too" You hear him answer as you fall asleep, for the most peaceful slumber you've had in a long time.

I mean you've got your own super hero to take care of you during your sleep, how could you not sleep ?

_________________________________________

A 'gentle' reminder to take care or yourselves !! Drink water and eat at least two times a day !

❤️❤️

Also Jordan's wearing this because I said so and also, yeah I fucking love that shirt on them, byyyye

#jordan li #jordan li x reader #my looooove #gen v #jordan li smut #gen v x reader #Imagining this every night to fall asleep #Bangs my head on the wall and dies

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leilakisakabiri · 11 months

Note

request: Hi can you do where the reader is wearing Gavis hoodie and she accidentally stains it and starts freaking out. Thank uuu and i love ur writing

I Got You (Gavi)

Summary: You need Gavi to come help you after you get yourself into a bad situation.

Warning(s): None

A/N: Thank you so much for the request and for your support! Requests are open. Currently working on The Promises We Keep Pt 2. Also, guys if I haven't done your request yet, don't worry, it probably means it's gonna be a long one.

Word Count: 3.1k+

Masterlist

It was a Saturday night in Barcelona, and you were holed up in your room, feet tucked under you, a knitted blanket over your shoulders as you read over the words in front of you for the hundredth time.

While the city was alight with people getting drinks, dancing, and laughing, you silenced your phone, closed your blinds, and put your headphones on to quiet any outside noises.

You had decided to stay in this weekend, caught up in writing an essay for your criminal law class that was worth 50% of your grade. Safe to say you did not take it lightly. You had been hunched over your computer for the last nine hours, brain numb and fingers aching as you had tried to come up with a thesis and strong argument for your essay. You had blocked out this weekend to finish the essay, letting everyone know ahead of time not to contact you unless it was an emergency, including Gavi.

Gavi had been gone for the last couple of days, traveling around Europe for the last leg of La Liga, and he had been adamant about spending as much time with you as he could once he got back - before his summer schedule kicked off. However, that hope was quickly cut short when you informed him you most likely wouldn’t be able to see him at all this weekend due to you being stuck finishing your essay.

Although he had tried to convince you to change your mind, bribing you with the idea of endless cuddles and then promising to be as silent as possible while you wrote when his first idea didn’t work, you relented, knowing that having him around would be a major distraction, one that you couldn’t afford.

“I’m sorry Pablo I don’t think I can this weekend. What about Monday?” You asked hopefully.

He sighed over the phone, his face pulling into a frown, “I can’t. We’re leaving Monday morning for France.”

You bit on your lip, feeling bad, “I’m sorry I just really need to focus this weekend.”

He nodded, “I get it. It just sucks. I wanted to see you at least once before I’m gone again. But it’s fine – I’ll survive.” He replied dramatically.

You grinned, “Well I’ll miss you Pablito.”

“I already miss you.”

The smile on your face only grew as your heart warmed at his words, “I’ll text you if anything changes. Have a great game, I’ll be watching.”

He gave you a wink, “Damn gotta show off now that my girls watching.”

You giggled at him, “Bye Pablo.”

He mocked your tone playfully, “Bye Y/n.”

That was last week, and now you were nose deep in your essay, textbooks scattered around you as you looked for possible quotes to strengthen your thesis. You had been so busy scanning the words on the page that you hadn’t noticed your phone buzzing non-stop next to you.

Once you saw the glow of your phone screen curiosity got the better of you and you flipped it around seeing you had eight missed calls from your best friend.

Your eyebrows knitted in confusion, it was almost two in the morning, she would for sure be at a club right now, happily dancing the night away with your friends, so why was she consistently calling you?

The phone buzzed once again and this time you were quick to answer.

“Hello, Gia, what’s going on?”

Her voice was slurred on the other end, but you could sense the panic regardless, “Y/n? I don’t know where I am, I was with the others but then I went to the bathroom, and I then couldn’t find anyone anymore. And this guy won’t leave me alone-”

“Gia, where are you? I’ll come get you.” You cut off her rambling, already rushing to put on your shoes, essay long forgotten.

She hiccupped, “I’m at Macarena. I’m sorry no one else answered.”

“No, no problem at all. I’m coming right now, Gia. Don’t move. I’m glad you called.” You comforted her.

The club was only a twenty-minute walk from your house, and seeing as you didn’t have a car or the time to wait for public transport, it was your best option.

You cursed yourself for not answering sooner as you rushed to get your keys, grabbing a random hoodie on the way out.

Although summer was beginning to creep into Barcelona, the nights were still chilly with cold winds rushing through the area.

You sped through the streets, walking with purpose as you finally reached the club. You were severely underdressed for the club wearing a random hoodie and yoga pants. You saw the line for the club was still extremely long, wrapping around the corner and you knew you had no time to waste.

You took a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself, you were never one to break any rules or ask for any special favors, but now seemed like a good time to start.

You walked up to the club bouncer, ignoring the nasty look the guy at the front of the queue was sending you, “Excuse me. I need to get in right away, my friend is inside alone, and I need to help her.”

You heard the guy next to you scoff.

The bouncer looked at you unimpressed. “Sorry sweetheart. You want to get to her, you have to wait in line.”

You relented, “Sir please, just look at my outfit,” you said gesturing to yourself, “clearly, I’m not here to party, I just need to get my friend and leave. You can even come with me!”

He gave you an apprehensive look, taking in your appearance, “I can’t leave my post.”

You groaned, “Fine, then can someone else escort me? I can literally call her right now. She’s not in the right head space.”

He squinted his eyes at you, “You look familiar.”

It finally clicked. This is where you had gone with Gavi and his team, celebrating after they had won a final a few weeks ago. They had treated you like royalty, blocking off a whole section just for you, the club owner even making an appearance to congratulate the team.

You didn’t like to use the fact that you were dating a well-known athlete as a way to get special privileges but if it meant helping your friend then you would do it.

“Yeah, I was in VIP a few weeks ago. I know the owner, so please let me in.”

“What’s his name?”

You racked your brain trying to think of that night, “Santiago. It was Santiago!” You replied, finally remembering.

The bouncer gave you a once over before he finally nodded begrudgingly, “Fine – but be quick.”

You heard the other people in line begin to argue but you quickly thanked the bouncer, rushing inside, not wanting to wait long enough for him to change his mind.

God bless Gavi.

The place was packed, bodies pressed together so closely that you had to squeeze in between heavily making out couples and groups of friends to make your way to the middle. The strobe lights were going crazy, changing every few seconds to the beat of the music. There was a DJ booth twenty feet above the crowd playing EDM Spanish music and the crowd was going insane, chanting along.

You hit your head on your forehead as you realized you forgot to ask her where she was.

You pulled out your phone, letting out a breath of relief when she answered, “I’m here Gia. Where are you?”

“I’m at- I said no, stop, I’m at the bar.” She huffed. You felt your anxiety rise, who was she talking to?

“Ok, I’m coming.”

You pushed through the throngs of people, finally spotting the bar, seeing her leaning against the counter, hands flying as she argued with someone.

You walked towards them hearing the tail end of their conversation, a bad feeling in your stomach.

“Gia!” You yelled, coming to stand next to her.

She gave you a relieved look, falling into you, the effort of standing up being too much.

You caught her, hugging her back.

“Oh wow – two for one. I got a buddy that would love you.”

You steadied Gia looking up to see the guy she was talking with giving you a smirk.

You held his gaze, annoyed, “No thanks. We’re leaving now.”

You went to turn but he caught your wrist pulling you back, the drink in his hand sloshing,

“Woah, don’t go yet, the fun’s just getting started. Look my buddies are in VIP we can hook you up.”

You yanked your hand away, giving him a disgusted look, “First don’t touch me. Second, we’re leaving.”

“You’re not leaving.” He persisted.

You raised an eyebrow, “Fucking watch me.”

He reached for you again, but you were prepared, grabbing his hand, and flinging it off you, as you weaved into the crowd, ignoring his shouts.

You let out a breath as you stepped outside of the club, grateful for the cold air after sweating through your hoodie in the packed club.

You adjusted your hold on Gia, holding her waist as you started the trek back to your apartment.

She stumbled over her steps as you walked, giggling, “Oh my god Y/n your bleeding!”

You gave her a confused look, dragging her, “What?”

She giggled again, reaching for your hoodie, “It’s coming from your stomach, look it’s red!” She pointed at your shirt.

You looked down and you stopped in your tracks, breath hitching as you began to panic, “Oh shit Gia I’m wearing Gavi’s hoodie!”

She stopped as well, letting go of you as she plopped onto the ground, staring up at you,

“So?”

“So? He’s going to be so mad at me. That dick spilled his drink on me. This is a white hoodie – who knows if it will come out?” You stressed.

“It’s-" she hiccupped, “fine.”

You shook your head, “No It’s not it’s his favorite hoodie, I didn’t even realize I was wearing it. Fuck, I have to clean as soon as we get home.”

You started walking before you realized she wasn’t following you.

“Gia?”

You turned around to see her slumped against the sidewalk, eyes closed.

You rushed to her side, shaking her, “Gia? Gia, are you okay?”

She hummed, “I don’t feel so good.”

“Can you walk? We’re almost halfway there.” You asked, helping her sit up so she was leaning against you.

She groaned, “I’m going to throw up.”

You looked around anxiously, unsure of what to do. You had left the main strip of clubs and restaurants, and were now on a back road, walking in an area that was dimly lit and that you weren’t too familiar with.

“I can call an Uber.”

You reached into your pocket, cursing yourself as you realized you had forgotten your wallet in the rush to get to the club.

“Shit, I don’t have my wallet. Do you have yours?”

“Antonio.” She groaned, leaning her head against your shoulder.

You let out a huff, contemplating what to do. You attempted to get her to stand up once again, desperate to get out of the area, but she couldn’t stand, and you weren’t strong enough to carry her the rest of the way. You chewed on your lip debating a solution, but you didn’t want to do it unless it was the absolute, last, last resort.

You spent the next five minutes calling all your friends, but no one answered. You groaned, frustrated, knowing you had run out of options.

You heard your friend beginning to doze off and you shook her, “Gia stay awake.”

She moaned, “Y/n I really don’t feel good. I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Your finger hovered over the contact, and you finally pressed it, feeling the guilt build inside.

It rang seven times before going to voicemail. You called back.

On the third ring, the line finally connected,

“Y/n? Why are you calling me so late?” Gavi’s voice was thick with sleep, his words murmured.

Hearing his voice sent a pang of relief through you, and suddenly you didn’t feel so alone,

“Gavi I’m sorry. I really need your help.”

He was up in an instant, wide awake, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m stuck in the middle of the road with Gia. She got drunk and I went to get her but now I’m worried there’s something wrong. She can’t get up and we’re all alone. I don’t have any money. I called our friends, but no one answered, I-I didn’t know what to do.” You rushed out.

You heard his breath accelerate on the other end of the line, “Ok don’t worry baby I’m coming. Send me your address, everything’s going to be okay. Just stay on the phone with me.” He reassured you.

You nodded before realizing he couldn’t see you, “Thank you so much Gavi.”

You heard his car door open, “Anytime. If anything happens like this again you call me first, okay?”

“Okay.”

You stayed on the phone with him, rubbing Gia’s shoulder to comfort her, readjusting her whenever she began to doze off.

Finally, you saw a familiar car pull onto the street, and you waved your hands, trying to get him to see you.

The car made a quick turn and then Gavi was rushing out, a worried look on his face,

“Oh thank god you’re okay. I was so worried.”

“I’m so sorry for waking you. Thank you for coming.”

“Y/n stop apologizing.” He said, helping you carry Gia to the car.

Upon feeling that she was being lifted, her eyes shot open, “Y/n what’s going on?”

She glanced over to her left seeing Gavi before she turned to look at you, it took two seconds for her eyes to widen and then she was whipping her head back, “Gavi? The hell y-you doing here?”

You giggled at her abruptness, “I had to call for help.”

She turned to you, snuggling into your shoulder affectionately, “You’re the best Y/n. She was a rockstar today.” She spoke, as you both pushed her into the car.

Gavi raised his eyebrow at you as you both got in, “A rockstar eh?”

You rolled your eyes, “She’s just spewing nonsense.”

Gia groaned in the back, hands clumsily coming to slap your shoulder, “Ehh don’t lie Y/n. You should have seen the way she talked to those guys – even I was scared.”

You saw Gavi’s grip on the steering wheel tighten, his posture stiffened as he looked over at you,

“Guys? What guys?”

You opened your mouth to reply but Gia beat you to it.

“This one guy, he kept trying to get me to come with him, but then Y/n was like no way we’re leaving, and then he started hitting on her, but then he tried to grab her, and she karate chopped his hand! He was so embarrassed!”

You felt yourself blushing at her recollection of events, “I did not karate chop his hand!”

“Yes, you did. It was like in midair when he was talking about his friend that liked you, and then I blinked, and it was gone!”

“Did he try anything?” Gavi’s voice was hard, as he looked at you.

You shook your head, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, “No don’t worry. We were fine.”

You felt his body relax under your touch, and one of his hands came to grip your own, “You should have called me sooner. I’m sorry you had to deal with that asshole.”

You felt your heart flutter at his words, “Don’t worry I handled it. But thank you, next time I will.”

Soon you were pulling up to your apartment and hauling Gia up your steps.

“I really wish we had an elevator right now.” Gia groaned as she was being half pulled, half carried up the steps.

You made eye contact with Gavi after hearing her statement, and you had to bite your cheek not to laugh out loud,

“You and me both G.”

Finally, you reached your apartment, and all let out a sigh of relief as she fell onto your bed, passing out almost immediately.

You cringed as you saw her head land centimeters away from the sharp edge of one of your textbooks.

You reached over, clearing the space so she was able to sleep without the risk of a concussion.

You looked up once the area was cleaned to see Gavi looking at you intently, a weird expression on his face almost like he was stuck in his thoughts.

“What? Is everything okay?” You asked unsure, looking down at yourself.

That’s when you realized.

You were still wearing his hoodie, the one that had a massive red stain on it now thanks to the jackass at the club.

You had completely forgotten about it.

You quickly apologized, “Gavi I’m so sorry. Gia called and I was so worried so I grabbed the first thing I could find – and then the guy kept grabbing me and had this drink – anyways,” you let out a huff, “I’m really really sorry, I can buy you a new one.”

Gavi stared at you in surprise, shocked by your outburst, “Y/n relax. It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry I know how much you love this sweatshirt.”

Gavi shook his head slightly smiling, you were just so adorable, and he physically couldn’t hold back the words he’d been dying to say any longer, “I love you more though, so it’s fine.”

“Wha-what?” You stumbled over your words, clearly not expecting such a big revelation.

“I said I love you.” He said it with so much confidence, almost like he was reciting a fact, something that couldn’t be changed, and you melted a little at how sure he sounded.

You didn’t know what to say, your brain still playing those three words on a loop. He loved you. He had said it first.

The silence stretched on and now it was his turn to get nervous, “Is that okay?”

Your mouth was still open in shock, but you quickly recovered,

“Yo-you love me?” Your voice cracked.

“Well, yeah… why would I not?” He asked, eyes locked on yours.

You shook your head, a smile gracing your features as you took a step closer to him, “I love you too, and I’m sorry-”

He cut you off with a sweet kiss, pulling you closer into him, as he slid his hands under the sweatshirt, fingers gently squeezing the soft flesh of your hips.

Your lips moved in sync and your hands went to play with his hair, gently tugging.

You heard him let out a groan and you bit his bottom lip instinctively.

He pulled away out of breath, a dazed look in his eyes, “Joder, you can ruin all my hoodies if this is how you apologize.” He muttered breathlessly.

You rolled your eyes, smiling as he brought you back into him for another kiss.

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eusouumfuckingkoala · 9 months

Text

Your name (Alessia Russo x Reader) Part 2

a/n: English isn´t my first language, hope you guys enjoying it, sorry for being so long. Let me know what you think? Also, this is Part 2 of "I don't even know your name".

What you didn't know was that the girls call Alessia to go outside when she saw you, she was ready to go talk to you but when she heard your conversation with Danielle, she thought maybe it wasn't the right time. She couldn't help but see you walk away god knows where all she knew was that once this photoshoot was scheduled she would do anything to win you over, there was no way she wasn't doing something about it this time, after all since that vacation Alessia couldn't take you off her mind, her friend tries to arrange her dates but she didn't want to meet anyone she just wanted to see you again, and the prove was at training when she saw you, she was so infatuated by you that end up with a ball on her face and her friends making fun of her, and Leah and Lotte telling her she was seeing things, but right now was all worth it knowing that she wasn't getting crazy.

1 week later

Today it's the photo shoot of the players, don't ask why but I was too anxious for today, I had sent a few ideas to Danielle so he knew some of them I wanted to be taken on the field, I know normally is inside but I like more outside the players seem more natural in their element than in a room full of lights and cameras I went to the field a little late I could feel someone looking at me but I made my way to Danielle.

"I'm sorry Danielle I got caught in paperwork..."

"No problem we took a few inside, and now we are gonna start the field ones you ask for." he smile at me.

"Thank you, Danielle."

"You don't need to thank me Y/N it's my job, but we can always grab dinner?"

"Sure but I pay this time."

Since you start work here Danielle was a great friend, fun to hang out, with he told me he was into guys the day I told him I like women because I didn't want to lead him on it was funny but most people didn't know he was, we got along pretty well after that.

I feel someone behind me but didn't think much about it until Danielle give me a light smirk and walk away, I turn around and meet ocean-blue eyes making all body interrupt with goosebumps.

"Hi..."

"Oh Hi, it's..." I couldn't finish my sentence I was in too much shock, it was her there was no doubt but was your imagination playing tricks on you again?

"So you have a date?" She look disappointed.

"What?" what doesn't she mean I got a date? Am I missing something here?

"Nothing just... just forget it I say anything it was nice to see you again." she just turn around and walk back to her friends.

So it was her, but where did she get the idea that I have a date? I was in so much shock that I didn't even get the time to replay before she walks away only leaving my mouth a whisper "Wait." you facepalm yourself, you have been waiting to meet her again and all you thought about was what you gonna say to her, but not being able to barely say a word wasn't in your plans special not asking her why she thought you are dating. How messed up, am I? So you made a note to talk to her after the photo shoot ends.

Throughout the photoshoot you couldn't take your eyes off her scared that the girl that's been haunting your dreams would vanish, the way she smiles, her natural beauty was breathtaking, and the way her name fits her perfectly you couldn't stop yourself from repeating her name in your head "Alessia" the girl who haven't leave your memory since Spain. The team was doing a break she was talking with her friends when she look at me and I could see her lightly blush with a soft smile but there was something in her eyes that I couldn't figure out what it was.

"What got you all cloudy?" Danielle say since he was also on a break.

"Nothing... the photoshoot it's going pretty well." I smiled at him.

"I am surprised you pay any attention!" he smirk at me.

"What do you mean? I come to watch the photo shoot." I look at him confused.

"Yeah lie to yourself you think I didn't see the looks between you and Alessia!"

I blush and punch his arm playfully "Stop it! It's not like that?" You say more like a question than a conviction.

"Are you asking me? Because honestly, it could be!"

"No, I'm not, stop playing around!"

"Go talk to her Y/N!"

When he walked away I was thinking about it but then I thought she is with her friends having a good time I don't wanna mess that up or should you try to explain to her, this need to justify yourself to her was weird, you never feel this need to explain things to anyone, but what isn't new since I meet her in Spain.

On the other hand, Alessia was being teased about you.

"So what happened? You talk to your girl!" Alessia was taken off her thought by Lotte.

"Nothing happened..." she sights a bit sad that she was too late.

"So you didn't ask her out?" Leah said.

"You need to ask her out Russo, you haven't stopped talking about her, since you came back from that trip!" Katie says making Alessia sigh.

"Just stop I'm not gonna embarrass myself!" she was getting annoyed by her friends.

"What do you mean the girl didn't take her eyes off you." Leah says frustrated with Alessia.

"She as a date Leah!"

"How do you know if you didn't ask her out?" Lotte says trying to change her friend's mind.

"When I went to talk to her I overheard her talk with Danielle about going to dinner..." The blonde looked down sad, only looking up when her friends start to laugh "What? It's not funny guys I fall for a straight girl that's not cool!!" before they could explain to her, she walks away to the next shoot since the break just finished.

You are admiring her once the photographs start to work again, and you are lost in your thoughts until your phone start to ring, you look at the ID seeing it's your dad you thought about declining the call because honestly, you don't have a great relationship besides he never support your dreams always bring you down, special after you had to quiet football everything got even worse. But at the same time probably your mom wanna talk to you so you accept the call.

"Hi..."

"Hi, where are you?"

"Working."

"Finally doing something with your life!" you pinch the bridge of your nose sight, you saw a ball pretty close to you so you start playing with it to distract yourself.

"What do you want?"

"Nothing can't call my daughter!"

"You never call me so what do you expect."

"Fine, your mom wants me to talk to you!"

"Of course, she did." If it wasn't because of her he wouldn't even call.

"Look Y/N don't even start you should be the one calling not me."

"Yeah sure your perfect."

"Who do you think you are? You need to respect me..." really him talking about respect I don't have time for this.

"I need to get back to work bye."

We were going to start to argue again so I just end the call and I kick the ball hard enough to go in from where I was almost in the middle field, the ball got in the top left side of the net without even looking. Once you look up from your feet you saw everyone looking at you with surprise in their eyes making you feel nervous.

"I'm sorry guys, did I hit anyone?"

"No, it's all good!" Katie said.

"How did you do that? I don't think I could save that one." Manu says.

You rub the back of your neck a nervous habit you have, you struggle with your shoulders not wanting to talk about the fact you had to give up on football.

"I got lucky..."

"Impossible that wasn't just luck!" Lotte and Katie say at the same time.

You dismissed them and went over to one of the computers to see the photos that have been taken, once the photoshoot was over you didn't even notice that the team was starting to pack up.

"Y/N don't you have something to do before dinner?" I look at Danielle I look around and I didn't see her anywhere "They just walk in to change."

You nod at him "Thank you!" you walk a little faster to the locker room you knock on the door since you didn't want to make them uncomfortable and walk on them getting changed Leah opens the door "It's Alessia still here?" you ask hopefully.

"Yes, she is finishing get ready."

"Do you mind telling her I will wait here for her?" You ask a bit nervous.

"No problem, she will be happy." She gave a gentle smile.

I smile at her as she walks inside again, you lean against the wall waiting for her, it's this a good idea? I just got this job. I mean it's not like we have anything I just wanna explain and hope this doesn't go south, you are taken off your thought once you hear the door open.

"Hi..." you straight up yourself fixing your clothes.

"You are looking for me?" She asks with a smile.

"Yeah...I... wanna explain..." why am I studdering right now before I could continue she interrupt me.

"You don't have to explain yourself, I hope you're happy!" She gave a small smile, now you understand what you are seeing in her eyes was sadness even though she had a smile on her face.

"That's the thing I don't get where you got that idea from?"

"I thought you are going on a date tonight." she say playing with her fingers.

"Oh you mean Danielle?" You giggle holding yourself to not laugh right into her face "I'm sorry..."

"No, you too?" Alessia say not getting what was so funny.

"What do you mean?"

"Those assholes inside also start laughing once I tell them about it, I don't get the joke it's not funny." you hide your smile once you saw she was serious.

"Lessi he likes man."

"Oh!" You could see her blush and get embarrassed.

"Yes Oh!" I couldn't help but smile at her cuteness, before she talks again some of the girls start to get out of the locker room, they smirking at us.

"Did you already embarrass yourself?" Katie teases Alessia.

"Shut up you guys are the worse!" She says trying to hide herself, they keep teasing her about what she says.

"It's not funny I'm falling for a straight girl." Lotte says and Leah pushes her "What?" that makes you look at them with a confused face.

"Straight? Well, good luck with that then, that's the worse!" they start to laughing "It wasn't that funny guys."

"It was because you both are so clueless!" Leah say laughing, before I could answer my phone rang I look at it and it was my dad again, what it's happening today this is just annoying.

"Are you going to answer that?" Alessia asks curious, once you put your phone back in your pocket.

"No, it's not important." I give her a small smile "But I also have to go, see you guys around?"

"Yeah of course!" the girls say but once I look at Alessia she was quiet you didn't want to leave but you also don't know if it's the right thing to stay, so you push your feelings aside.

"Can I just talk to you quickly?" She says the moment she got off her trace, you see in the corner of your eyes the girls walking away giving you two a little privacy.

"We will wait at the car. Bye Y/N!"

"Bye, guys!" Your eyes never left her blue eyes but she was so quiet, you could see she was deep in her thoughts "It's everything okay Lessi?"

"Yeah, I just...do you wanna drink a coffee or grab dinner someday?" This means she wanna go on a date with me or it's a friend's thing? I never thought she would ask me this, of all people I need to calm down why I'm overreacting "If you don't want to I completely understand." she said to bring you off your little freakout.

"I would love to grab some dinner."

"Great when you can just text me." she says all excited starting to walk away.

"Alessia?" she looks back at me curious "I don't have your number."

"Oh right silly me!" I handle my phone to her once she finishes putting in her phone number she kisses my cheek making me blush your so thankful that she starts to walk away missing your blush creeping up your face "I will be waiting to talk to you soon."

I smile watching her walk away once again but this time was different I knew her name I look at the contact she put in and smile at it "Spain Babe 🤍", I was taken off my thought by Danielle.

"What got you all smiling?"

"Nothing..."

"You know your terrible liar, but I was gonna ask if we can grab dinner another day because I'm gonna stay all night working?"

"Yeah sure no problem, do you need any help?"

"No, but do me a favor go get your girl." he smiles at me and pushes me once he walks away.

"I will." I whisper to myself since he walks away, making my way to your office to finish some papers, you text Alessia so she could save your number when you are almost finished your phone lights it up.

From Spain Babe 🤍

Hi, so I know you probably have plans for tomorrow but me and the team are going to have a relaxing day at the pool, if you wanna show up here is the address.

Besides the team didn't get the chance to meet you.

You grab your things and went home thinking if you should go I mean they seem good people, but was it the right move in the back of your head you know it wouldn't do warm but you also don't know if you should go because what if she just wants a friendship you guys meet at the bar it's not like people are looking for a relationship. What am I thinking I don't even know if she likes me? Sure she seems sad about me going on a date, but that doesn't mean anything, right? I need to stop overthinking. You grab your phone and think about what will you answer.

To Spain Babe 🤍

Sure it would be fun to get to know them better.

Do you need me to bring something?

I don't seem desperate, you are going to turn off the phone but before you could Alessia already answer.

From Spain Babe 🤍

The team will love to meet you.

Just bring yourself 😉

My heart skip a beat at the last text, but I know I shouldn't read much into it from what Danielle told me about the team Alessia it's a kind girl and a sweetheart so you know it would only hurt you think there is something more when there isn't.

Next day

I woke up early but I decided it was best just to go meet the Team after lunch I was too nervous, besides it's their day off I didn't wanna get much in the way of that so after lunch I drive to address Alessia send me yesterday I took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell I ear some steps it was Lotte and Leah.

"Hi, I'm sorry Lessi invited me..." I say a little nervous.

"Yeah, we know glad you could come because she didn't stop talking about you." Lotte say making me blush a little, did she talk about me that much "Besides the team is excited to get to talk to you since the other day they didn't get the chance."

"Come on in!" Leah say and we all made our way to the backyard "Guys, Y/N it's here!"

They all turn to look at me and say "Hi" I hear Katie say "Finally now Alessia will stop the whining." I gave them a wave.

"Hi guys hope I'm not bothering your time off."

"None sense!" I hear Sabrina say and smile at me I return with a smile still a bit shy I mean they are all athletic professionals and well I'm just me, Leah starts to tell me who was who from the girls I haven't met until I see someone on the corner of my eye walking up to us, I start to get undress just staying on my bikini I lose my balance and end up in someone's arms, I turn around.

"Thanks, Sabrina."

"No problem, if you fall I will catch you." she smiled and winked at me I gave her a little smile and walk to the end of the pool sitting with my feet in the water, Leah sit beside me we are talking and Alessia was in the pool making her way to me she stop in front of me getting up and kiss my cheek and hug me, I hug her back my whole body got goosebumps the feeling of her cold body against mine and this closeness was new of course we have been close that night at the bar but nothing like this.

"I glad you could come." she whisper, hiding her face in my neck.

"Me too." I kiss her cheek.

"Get a room!" Katie yell, making us pull away and blush I saw a light blush on Alessia's cheeks she was playing with her fingers maybe so no one could see it.

She turn around I thought she was leaving next thing I know I pull her back hugging her shoulders from behind and pulling her back against my front I didn't have time to restrict myself, I don't know why I was so comfortable around her I didn't want her to leave the feeling it's so familiar and relaxing, she looks up at me and smile relaxing against me. We are all talking and having fun, Sabrina sometimes would come and talk to me I didn't think anything of it I mean they are all trying to get to know me and make me feel welcome.

"Thanks for inviting me, it's so hot today." I say to them it was a pretty hot day, thankfully we are at the pool.

"Well I don't doubt you are hot, you haven't let go of Alessia!" Lotte says making all of the group laugh I blush looking down just to be meet with Alessia's eyes she had a sweet smile mixed with a light smirk, and she turn around hugging my torso.

"That can be fixed!" Alessia says pulling me with her underwater making me scream, when the cold water hit my warm body since I haven't gotten in the water, once we surf up I lightly punch her shoulder before putting my arms around her neck since she was holding me.

"Why did you do that!?"

"Well you say you're hot I just wanted to help." she give me a smile making me smile at her.

"You are lucky you are cute and I like you." those words left my mouth so fast that I didn't have time to stop them, every time I am around her I don't have control of my actions it's kind of embarrassing, besides our faces are so close right now I blush at the realization.

"Oh really what if I told you..." She was cut off by Sabrina doing a bomb beside us, once she emerged she looked at us.

"Do you want a drink?" Alessia's sight pulling away letting go of me.

"Yeah, sure." I was gonna follow Alessia but Sabrina grabbed me back "Do you need something?"

"I was wondering if you want..." zooming out the moment I saw Alessia walk away without sparing me another look that hurts and I don't even know why I slightly.

"Sorry, what do you need?" I say looking at Sabrina.

"Can I take you on a date?" She says hopefully.

"Sabrina I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea but I don't see you that way."

"Oh yeah of course don't worry." I gave her a small smile and make my way to the edge of the pool to Leah, she was a great person to talk to I actually could see myself having a great friendship with her.

"Leah, do you know what's wrong with Lessi?" I say looking at Lessi now far away from me talking with Katie, Leah looks at her and then at me.

"You really are that clueless?" I frown still not taking my eyes from Lessi, not understanding what she means "Sabrina has been all over you since you arrive Y/N/N."

"Did she? I mean she just ask me out? But I haven't been paying attention... anyway, what does that have to do with Lessi?" I say this time looking at Leah confused.

"Oh god, do I need to make you a drawing? Look Alessia hasn't shut up about you since you guys meet, she invited you here to meet her friends, how would you feel if one of your friends was trying to hit on the person you like?"

"Does she?" I ask her a bit taken aback.

"What?" She asks confuse.

"Like me..."

"You are clueless of course she does!"

"No, I mean more than a friend?"

"Yes!"

"But I hear she is a sweetheart, and everyone likes to be around her, I thought it was just her being thoughtful."

"Y/N I'm telling you this because I considered you my friend and I like you! Yes Alessia is one of the kindness people that everyone can meet, but there is a difference in the way she does it with you, she is too shy at the beginning, but with you she wasn't, she is following you around like a lost puppy, besides the way she looks at you... I never saw her like this before. I just hope you take care of her."

"I will..." I say while looking at Alessia.

I stand up and walk to Alessia and Katie since Alessia had her back to me I grab her hand and lean on her shoulder she looks at me but my eyes are on Katie.

"Do you mind if I steal Lessi just for a bit?"

"Of course not go ahead!" she give me an encouraging smile I pull Alessia with me inside we went to the kitchen and hug her feeling her warm embrace.

"It's everything alright?"

"I should be the one asking you that." I look up at her since she was a bit taller than me.

"Yeah, why do you ask love?" Once I hear that word my heart skip a beat but was also beating like crazy.

"Well you walk away from me, and you haven't talked to me since Sabrina interrupted us."

"It's nothing..." she says trying not to look at me I put my arms around her neck making her look at me her hands resting on my waist.

"You know you can tell me what's bothering you?" she gave me a small smile "I have the feeling I know what this is about..."

"I mean..." she sights "Look I don't wanna be in the way... I... forget it." she tried to walk away but I trap her between me and the balcony.

"Lessi I don't know what you think you are in the way of but I already told you. You aren't besides you expect me to forget it I have been trying to tell you..."

"Sabrina ask you out and you're telling me I'm not in the way? I think you forget it already." she says a bit harsh but with hurt. Why do I get the feeling she is talking about something else?

"Lessi, you are jealous because she asks me out? She is all yours!" I rub my face trying to calm down. "I haven't been able to forget since that night god I couldn't even sleep, I saw you everywhere. Do you know how ridiculous it is to fall for someone that you don't even know their name? How hurtful it was just to think this person was at a bar to have fun of course she doesn't want anything to do with you? Probably already forgot about you? So I have tried to forget it." I sigh rubbing my face and turning around "By the way if you hadn't walked away you would have heard me saying no to Sabrina, so go ahead and ask her out... Now don't blame me for something I didn't do." I walked away before I could hear her whisper.

"I know that feeling?"

Once I arrive back outside I made my way to Leah.

"Leah I should go, I appreciate this evening thank you for having me." I say a bit sad it's heartbroken to see all you thought was truth, Leah was wrong about what Alessia felt about you.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah don't worry see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure..." I hugged her and say goodbye to everyone.

Once I arrive home I just took a shower and break down, it hurts that she doesn't like you the way you do, it was so wrong to think that Leah was right. Clearly what happened in Spain just affects you. How could I be so naive the moment I saw she was an athletic professional I should have known she was out of my league. How can something like this hurt so much even though nothing ever happened?

1 Week later

I haven't slept much and Danielle and some of the team already noticed Leah was one of my close friends she already told me to talk to Alessia, but I honestly don't think that's a good idea, so it was just another day in the office I'm was thankful that today I just had to take care of the paperwork that way I don't have to face anyone.

I turned around in my chair facing the stadium running my hands over my face sight I was so tired with not even an hour of sleep these last few days that I didn't even hear someone walking into my office and walking towards me.

"Are we gonna talk or are you gonna keep ignoring me?" I jump in my seat "I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you..."

"I'm not ignoring you, now isn't a good time." I say turning around to face Alessia once she sees my face she comes to my side leaning on the desk and grabbing my hands.

"How long haven't you slept?" She says rubbing my knuckles with her thumb.

"I look that bad!" I half joke forcing a smile.

"Y/N/N now isn't a time to joke..."

"Probably a week or so nothing unusual for me."

"Come here." She stands up and pulls me to the couch.

"Lessi I need to finish work..."

"No, you need to sleep." She lay down and pulled me on top of her my head laying in her chest making me stay between her legs I was too tired to even fight it "Are you comfortable?" I just nodded at her, her embrace was something so relaxing that I didn't even know I was missing it.

She started to run her nails on the back of my head making me close my eyes, I was drifting off to sleep.

"I'm sorry I acted like you should've guessed it." she says softly as you fall asleep.

After a while, I started to move a lot in my sleep so I snug on my pillow but then I felt a collarbone so I jumped up scared I did something I shouldn't besides I was at work.

"It's okay you didn't sleep that much." I look to my side seeing Alessia make me let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry I fall asleep on you, I need to finish work..."

"Can I take you to dinner after work?"

"I don't know Lessi..."

"Look I know I mess up I just wanna talk besides if you don't wanna hear from me after that you don't have to see me again... Alright?"

"It's impossible to not see you again we work together, but okay meet me at 9 I still wanna go home to get ready." She smiles at me and kisses my cheek.

"See you in a few!" she says walking out leaving me blushing.

After work I went home to take a shower I dressed in a white crop top and black dress pants with my white sneakers, I just finished fixing my hair when the doorbell rang I grabbed my purse, phone, and keys I opened the door and was met with a bouquet of white roses.

"It's for you."

"Thank you, how did you know this was my favorite?"

"I have my ways" she smiled at me proud, I went to put the roses in a vase "Are you ready? Or am I too early?" she said nervously looking at her watch.

"No you are right on time, let's go?!" she said and once I close the door we walked to the car she opened the passenger door for me "Thank you."

The ride was peaceful the silence was comfortable even though you could feel some tension because we both didn't wanna say something wrong, once we arrived I look out the window, and saw my favorite restaurant.

"Your ways are someone call Leah." I smile at her.

"Well, you can't blame me for trying, wait a second." I look at her confused because she just closed the door right after, but once I saw her open my door it made sense.

"Thanks, pretty gentle of you aren't you trying to impress?"

"It depends? Is it working?" She smile at me I could help but smile at her.

"Depends are you always like this with all your dates?" I smile as I saw she was taken aback by my answer.

"Well...No just you...I didn't think you wanted to go on a date with me?" she say blushing and rubbing the back of her neck.

"Well if this isn't a date I think you set the bar too high for a date. Should we go in?"

"Damn it..." she whispers to herself "Yes of course!"

Once we got in the waitress took us to a table on the far end giving us some privacy, we ask for the drinks and Alessia was looking at her menu when she meet my eyes.

"Aren't you going to choose?" she ask a bit confused why haven't I grabbed my menu.

"I already know what I am gonna ask for." I smile at her.

"Any suggestions?"

"They have the best Shrimp Chao Min, every time I come here I have to ask for it!"

"Then I guess I will have to try it." she smile at me and grab my hand on top of the table running her thumb over my knuckles "Look I know I mess up the other day I shouldn't have assumed you knew what was going on with me besides... I didn't even know you feel the same when..." she was cut off by the waiter we ordered and thank him.

"I didn't know what happened you just walk away and ignore me, I just wanted to know why?"

"When you say if I knew how it felt to fall for someone you don't even know their name, I didn't answer but I know the feeling, when you say that you felt like that person forgotten you I know that feeling, and that fear I thought it was my reality when you are talking about having dinner with Danielle, or when Sabrina ask you out..."

"Where are going with this Lessi?" I wasn't sure if she mean it about us or not.

"I'm not the jealous type I was just scared you forgot about me... what I am trying to say is that it's you!" she say looking at her plate and trying to avoid me.

"Took you long enough!" I say smiling at her, she looks up at me confused "A few days ago Lotte showed up at my house to talk to me, I didn't believe her, I mean can you blame me you are famous for your kindness besides before I knew who you are I already thought you are out of my league and after our talk I thought it was platonic I didn't have a chance and that hurt me." she gave me a gentle smile.

"You're so wrong I didn't think you liked me that much besides everyone is hitting on you everywhere I went and you are there. So this means you give me a chance to fix this?" She says a little bit hopeful.

"Yeah I mean you are right we both didn't act on our feelings there was no way we would know if we didn't talk about it." I squeeze her hand.

"I'm glad we get to talk."

We start to eat and get to know each other with small talk here and there when we finish we went on a walk.

"I don't know if you wanna talk about this but how did you learn how to shoot like that? You are basically on the midfield and without looking you get the ball in the corner..." I sigh this was something that hurts to talk about it was my biggest dream "Sorry I shouldn't have asked you don't need to answer!" She says fast.

"It's okay Lessi..." We stop at a bench and sit down I keep looking at the stars "It was my dream to play football my dad didn't support the idea and my mom was scared but I convince her I could do it... It was all going well until my last game before I start to play professionally..." She grab my hand and squeezed gently "My dad didn't support me his vision about women's sports was and is that no way a woman can make it or earn the same as men, that day we argue about it and I was pissed off I was sure that day I was gonna change is perspective on women's sports but I had a pretty bad injury that game my leg was all broken in a lot of different places I also hit my head pretty bad, I was in a coma for a while... when I woke up the doctor told me I could never play again, he didn't even know if I would be able to use my leg again that was how bad it was..." I felt her hand on my cheeks with her thumbs she clean some tears that I didn't even know were there.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked I mess up every time."

"Yay don't worry it's in the past besides I can walk but no club wants to risk having me back on the field since the doctor told me I probably could never play again... It was a hard and dark time of my life but I learn to live with it!" I smile at her.

"You can always try again."

"I can't Lessi no one wants a player with this many risks besides no one wanted to see my skill and I never touched a ball again until the other day."

"What if you can?"

"Lessi, I appreciated but I already made my peace about it."

"Teach me how to do it?"

"What?" I look at her confused.

"Teach me how to shoot like you did the other day!"

"I don't know..."

"Please I promise if you can teach me I will try to use it on the big games so you can feel like you are back on the pitch again!"

"Lessi that's very sweet but I don't know..."

"At less think about it?"

"I will." I smile at her gently "But enough about me!" I chuckle.

We talk about other things we had a great time the hours fly by so quickly with her she is really sweet and funny, and easy to talk to I honestly wasn't expecting to trust her this fast but we both knew the night was coming to an end, once we arrive at my door neither of us made a move we didn't want the night to end, she walks me to the door.

"Thank you for tonight Lessi!" I kiss her cheek but made no move inside.

"Thank you for the chance can I take you on a real date on the weekend?"

"Yeah, and I will teach you..." she looks at me smiling.

"Really?" She says so exactly that makes me giggle.

"Yes, I mean at least someone will be able to use it... Goodnight Lessi." I hug her she wraps her arms around me.

"Goodnight Y/N/N." When we pull away we are too close but I didn't wanna jinx myself since this was going so well, I kiss her on the cheek and walk inside once she kiss mine back, and went to her car waiting for me to get inside.

The next day

I was a bit more relaxed even though I hadn't slept much I had agreed today I would start to teach Alessia after her training and when I finish work I was nervous I mean she is a professional I am just me.

So after work I meet her at the field she was already there talking with Manu and training once I got to them they turn around and stop talking.

"Sorry did I interrupt?"

"Not at all..." Lessi says.

"You sure?"

"Yes this one was just rumbling about you, nothing unusual!" I chuckle and Alessia was blushing "I hope you don't mind but I tag along to try to get that shoot of yours."

"Yeah, no problem, but first Alessia will need to train shooting, strength, and effect you put on the ball while shooting!"

We start practice I show some of the ways she could achieve a more certain type of shoot after some practice I could see they are tired.

"I think we should stop for today in a few days you guys have a game, I don't wanna be responsible for not being on top of your game."

"Just shoot a few for me please I wanna know if I can catch it."

"Alright, but only five times I don't wanna get you tier."

"Alright let's go!"

Me and Alessia went to near the middle field Alessia pass me a ball but I saw her looking around like she was looking for something.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah don't worry." she gave me a gentle smile.

"If you say so..." I kiss her cheek and put the ball in place, I gave a few steps back and take a breath, I was feeling a bit nervous but also relax I shoot the ball with an effect I saw Manu going to on side ready to defend it but the effect on the ball made her end on the opposite corner of the net leaving no time for Manu to react.

"What how?" She half yells "Again!"

I look at Alessia waiting for another ball but she was distracted, I approach her.

"Lessi are you sure everything is okay?"

"Sorry, it's just impossible to believe I can do that." I chuckle.

"You can do it just need practice, alright?"

"Come on love birds!" We both blush and I shoot again this time the other way.

After the five shoots, Manu was ready to take the challenge she will be able to defend your shoot maybe not today or tomorrow but she will, she and Alessia told me they are going to shower and change I stay for a while on the field I look at the ball and start to do some tricks and playing around. I sit down and look up, I miss this feeling of peace every time I step on the pitch, I miss the feeling of having a ball in my feet, I miss the game the joy of it.

"Hi." she says softly making me look up and see Alessia.

"Hi." she sits beside me "Wheres Manu?"

"She went home"

"Oh okay..."

"What's on your mind?"

"I miss this..." she leans her head on my shoulder "I miss the peace and joy that football use to give me. You did great today." I smile at her she looks up from my shoulder.

"You think so?" Your faces are so close to each other that it took me a while to answer.

"Yeah giving the fact that you are probably already tired from training, your shoot strength is almost there."

"Thank you!" She looks me in the eyes and then looks at my lips once her eyes are back on mine she pulls away blushing "Im sorry."

"No need to be sorry, I understand we both say we want to take it slow to get to know each other, but we also know isn't that easy to resist me." I joke with her.

"Aren't you full of yourself?" She says lightly pushing me.

"Nah just stating the obvious!" I kiss her forehead.

"Oh shut up!" before she could push me down I pull her with me making her squeaky, I look into her eyes.

"Make me!" I smile at her watching her face change "I'm kidding!" I kiss her cheek and hold her close she lay her head on my chest as I play with her hair.

"Y/N/N..."

"Yea?"

"Thanks for this moment I really appreciate having you around."

"You don't have to thank me Lessi!"

"I do you gave me a chance and that's all I can think about." I kiss her head.

"It's okay do you want to grab dinner?"

"Yeah of course!"

1 week later

It's been a week since I'm teaching Alessia she has improved a lot on the last game her shoots are so accurate that she told me that Jonas ask her what she was doing we laugh about it we have also been on a few dates and been spending a lot of time together. Today after training we will start to shoot a few yards away from the goal practice was going well until Jonas got to us.

"Girls go home, Y/N we need to talk?" Alessia and Manu look at me worried I just reassure them to go, once they are far.

"Look Jonas I'm sorry I was just..."

"I want you to go home rest and tomorrow I want you at training to talk."

"What?"

"You hear me, go get some rest." he walks away I stay frozen in my spot, what this means am I in trouble? Why does he want me in training? Am I getting fired? No, this can't be happening this was the closer I have been to football in such a long time and now I just mess up if I lose them as a client my other boss will fire me. I rub my face pacing around until I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"What happened?" I just turn around and hug her hiding my face on her neck "What did Jonas say?"

"He wants me here tomorrow at training, what if I lose my job? Lessi I don't know what to do?"

"Yay look at me." I reluctantly look up at her "You need to rest tomorrow we will see what he wants and we will figure out what to do next?" She rests her hand on my cheek "It's probably nothing but I will be by your side." I close my eyes leaning in her touch.

"I hope your right, thank you..."

"No need to thank me I wanna be there for you." she kissed my forehead "Let's get you home alright I will make you dinner." I nod and we made our way to her car, she grabbed my hand after starting the car, and I was playing with her fingers, the ride to my house was silent but comfortable.

Once we got inside she told me to take a shower once I finish showering I went to grab some clothes but then I saw Alessia had arranged them, some shorts a T-shirt and a sweater that I knew wasn't mine so probably it was hers, after finishing getting dress I made my way to Alessia she was with her back to me wet hair still from the shower she took on training grounds, watching her made me want this companionship with her always. She is such an amazing person I mean she isn't my girlfriend but the way she is taking care of me made my heart melt.

I walk up to her and hug her from behind resting my head on her shoulder.

"Hi, how are you feeling?" She says turning around in my embrace holding me close kissing my forehead.

"A bit better thanks for taking care of me." she chuckle.

"Love, you don't need to thank me, you know I will always take care of you as long as you let me." the name love made my heart speak a bit, it's this how love is supposed to feel like even though we aren't together, I kiss her cheek and pull away.

"Do you need me to help you?"

"No just sit on the couch and choose something to watch, leave the rest to me." she kisses my forehead and pushes me out of the kitchen gently.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes don't worry I know my way around!"

Once I sit down I was looking for a game at less would take my mind off things there was a match playing when Alessia come back with our plates and then she went to grab the glasses we are eating in silence watching the game, I was getting a bit critical about the playing when I notice that Alessia wasn't answering me I look at her and she was already looking at me with a smile.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing I just found it amusing watching you get all worked up with football." I try to hide my blush "Don't get all shy now, it's cute!" she leans in to kiss my cheek.

"You know I have to say something since I don't have a chance of getting a foot on it."

"Maybe that will change?" She smiles at me and I put my plate on the table.

"I don't think so now was the closest I have ever been in two years and probably not for long."

"Yay don't say that. Honestly, I think it will work out for the best!" I chuckle.

"I appreciate your optimism but..."

"No, but what if he wants you as an assistant coach? Didn't you see the progress you made with me and even with Manu?"

"Maybe but I am not a professional."

She put her plate down and pull me close to her making me lay on top of her staying between her legs she play with my hair.

"We will figure out I promise."

She kiss my forehead I was playing with the end of her shirt as we keep watching the match in complete silence I was getting comfortable in her embrace and it was getting late.

"Lessi..." she hum for me to continue as she was paying me attention "Can you stay?" She didn't answer right away which made me panic "I'm sorry I shouldn't ask you don't need to stay? And it's getting late?"

"Do you want me to stay?" I look up at her confused did she not hear me asking.

"I just ask you that?"

"There is a difference it's because it's late or because you want me to stay?" Her eyebrows lift in pure amusement as she waits for an answer.

"I want you to stay."

"Wasn't so hard was it..." I push her arm playfully she hugs me closer "I will stay as long as you want me here."

We lay there together curled up with her under the warm blankets, feeling warm and safe. Her safe embrace and the absence of everything else irrelevant it was so nice. Just the TV noise as background noise was making me fall asleep on her as she play with my hair and I trace her arm with my fingertips, eventually, I fall asleep all my worries vanishing in her presence.

The next morning I woke up with the sun getting throw the window making snug in Alessia hiding my face in her neck.

"Good morning love!" her raspy morning voice sounded so beautiful I could wake up every day with it.

"Good morning gorgeous!" I kiss her shoulder before turning to straighten my body I look into her blue eyes "How did you sleep?"

"Great and you?" She kiss my cheek "Hopefully you didn't wake up when I bring you here but you pull me with you to lay here so I hope you don't mind." She says a bit worry

"I haven't slept this well in a while and of course, I don't mind did you think I was gonna make you sleep on the couch?" I trace her arm that was still under my head with my fingertips.

"Oh really?"

"Of course, Russo I am not that mean!"

"I didn't say you are mean it's just I don't wanna make you uncomfortable."

"Lessi if you made me uncomfortable I wouldn't have slept this well." I kiss her nose and got up going to the closet to grab some clothes.

"What you doing? Come here..." she whines making me smile at her cuteness.

"In case you don't remember we still got to shower before we go to training and find my fate..." I feel her arms around my waist pulling me against her front and resting her chin on my shoulder.

"We got to shower..." I could see from the corn of my eye her smirk growing.

"Not gonna happen, Russo, I am gonna take a shower and when I am finished you can go!" I kiss her cheek pull away from her and go to the bathroom.

"Can't blame a girl for trying!" She smiles as she watches me get in the bathroom "You are gonna be the dead of me." she whispers more to herself but I hear her.

Once I finish showering I put on a white blouse and a blank dress pants, once I walk out Alessia wasn't there I fix my hair and went to the kitchen as she was making breakfast.

"You are spoiling me too much." I smile watching her.

"Maybe that way you will keep around." she jokes.

"You don't need that for me to want you around..." I walk up to her "Now go take a shower I will end this so you have breakfast ready when you get out!"

"But I wanna..." Once she turns around her eyes look me up and down "What are you doing to me?"

"Nothing now go shower or you will be late for practice!" I hurry her up.

"Can a girl just get a moment to take this beauty all in!?" she says making me blush.

"Very smooth Russo now hurry up!" she kisses my cheek and runs to the bathroom.

I honestly was beginning to think I need to ask her to be my girlfriend, I mean yes we have been on a few dates and we are always around each other but nothing official, but she still didn't kiss me maybe she doesn't want this to be something more. But I honestly could get used to having her around the house and my life was a lot more lighter and brighter now when she is around.

I finish getting breakfast ready and set the plates sitting on the stool on the balcony pulling my phone to see if I have anything important to do while I was waiting for Alessia, beside the training today was a pretty calm day, with no meetings hopefully, I'm not getting fire.

"Oh, you waited for me!" I look up at Alessia.

"Yes now let's hurry we need to leave soon!" we start to eat until it hit me "How am I going to work I left my car there yesterday?"

"Hello I'm here!" she says joking.

"I know but you know that someone can see us and I don't want the press annoying you..."

"I am taking you to work what's the big deal we are friends!"

Friends? This word just felt like a dagger in my heart but I couldn't blame her I mean our situation right now is not like we are together but still didn't feel easy to hear.

"Yea right..." I finish eating once she finishes I grab the plates and wash them before going to grab my things as Alessia grabs her training bag I open the door once she walks out to the car to put her bag in the back I lock the door, as I walk to her car she opens the door for me "Thanks."

The ride was silent my mind was racing around what she said and I couldn't bring myself to stop this feeling of all the possibilities in my head that mixed with the anxiety of not knowing what Jonas wanted to just make it worse. Once we arrived at the camp we both went our separate ways, I went to my office to leave my things and then went to the training ground to meet Jonas, the girls who were getting on the pitch.

"Hi, Jonas what do you need me for?" Once he turns around.

"Why you are dressing like that, go change?"

"What?" He looks around and handles me a kit.

"Go get dressed."

"Can you explain what's going on?" I'm so confused about what's going on.

"I wanna see your skills besides that goal your teaching Alessia." I was taken back by his answer.

"I can't..."

"Why not?"

"I...I don't know if... It's been too long besides a long short story, but I was told I could never do this again."

"I'm not asking you to get on a real game I just wanna see something!"

"Alright, I can't promise you'll be impressed." I went to chance and all the memories are coming back could I do it? What does exactly he want to see? The only thing I'm sure of is that as long I let myself go in that field the better I will play.

Once I got back, Jonas told me to warm up some of the girls were getting curious about what was going on after I warmed up Jonas called everyone in.

"I want 5vs5 today Y/N I want you with Leah, Sabrina, Katie, and Lia, the rest join in groups of five we are gonna make a little tournament, it's the best of three goes to the next round."

We all got ready I tried to avoid Alessia after all this is her element and we are "friends" so it was my turn to play, once Leah pass me the ball I made a quick rotation leaving Laura behind I made a quick run and it was just me and the goalkeeper who run at me I chip the ball and end on the back of the net the girl watching is in aww I celebrate a bit with Leah.

"It's your turn get ready!" Leah smiled and nodded at me as we got in place.

I was able to still the ball from Caitlin I pass to Katie and ran down the pitch, and she pass me the ball again I passed through the defender once I saw Leah in the box I crossed the ball and she finished with a volley she runs to me jumping on my arms.

"You did it!" I say to her.

After a few games, the final was my team against Alessia, Lotte, Jen, Blackstenius, and Manu. I was talking with Leah since we had a break.

"So what's going on?"

"Besides being training with you guys nothing much, why?"

"Stop playing smart with me, I was talking about you and Russo?"

"Nothing..."

"Don't, I know something is bothering you haven't looked at her but she keeps trying to get your attention, so what happened?" I sigh I hate that I can't lie to Leah.

"Well this morning before she drove me over here, we were talking I was worried about the press because well that's my job, and she says "what's the big deal we are friends"..."

"And?"

"And nothing Leah that's it." I sigh rubbing my neck.

"You know before anything you guys are friends right? What do you expect her to call you, don't do this to yourself you both like each other, you just need to make it official."

"I guess..."

"Girls let's go!"

We are getting ready to start once Jonas whistles, we are getting a few tackles here and there once I got the ball I didn't waste time shooting before Alessia take it off me, ending at the back of the net I fall on top of Alessia she groans.

"I'm sorry Lessi, I didn't mean to!" I got up and help her get up.

"Don't worry my bambina!" I blush.

"What..." Before I could ask she was already getting back to her position.

The game was 2-2, Alessia and Lotte were passing between them looking for an opening, so if we gave them one we could get the ball so I looked at Leah she nood at me I pressed Lessi so she had to pass to Lotte, Alessia run pass me looking confused why I didn't follow her, the moment Leah pressed Lotte she passes back to Alessia, so Lia cut the pass making the ball end at my feet I run to the goal passing throw Jen, I knew I had to try something new but I also knew I didn't try this in a long time and most of the times didn't even work, but if I do what we have been training it would be too easy for her so I shoot the ball aiming for the bar and pray it comes my way, Zinsberger jumps but ends up falling after the ball hits the bar once the ball bounces back down I shoot the ball in the back of the net I was shocked it works Leah jump on my back and I hear Alessia cherrying.

"That's my bambina!"

"You're cherrying for the enemie!"

After some congratulations here and there the girls are a bit taken aback by how I managed to do it. Honestly, I only did that once I didn't even know if I could recreate it.

"Y/N!" I turn around to see Jonas and all the players making their way to the locker room "I wanna give you a chance to come back!"

"What?"

"You played college football right?"

"Yes but..."

"I knew I had heard about you, I had seen you before I just never heard about you after that accident."

"Well no club wants a player with risks and neither do you?"

"What risk? You played just like I remember you did on that last game I was just disappointed to know you had already a club them I came to Manchester so I never knew what really happened after!"

"Jonas the doctor told me I could never use my leg again or play..."

"I don't see that as a risk look your walking, your playing like you did back them so think about it, I don't need an answer right away!"

"Alright, thanks!"

I sit on the field after he walks out, I lay back and cover my eyes with my arm. Is this really happening? Or am I just dreaming? If this is a dream I don't wanna wake up. I have been trying to forget about it but was all coming back, I knew I had proven doctors wrong the day I started to walk again, was the doctor wrong about this too? I never got the chance to know since no one wanted to see me play, but now that I have the chance I don't know what to think?

"How it went? Are you alright?" I jumped a bit, I was so in my head that I didn't hear her getting here "Sorry..."

"Good, but I don't know if I am good!" I didn't make a move until I felt her grab my arm to lay beside me with her chin on my shoulder looking at me.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Once I look at her I was met with her blue eyes focused on me like they were reading me, and then I noticed how close we were.

"No..." she looked at me confused, I look at her lips.

"Why n..." I couldn't take it anymore so I cut her off by kissing her, she was I bit taken back but she kissed me right away, lips moving in perfect synchrony, her lips tasted like strawberry, so soft and gentle. I pull away and rest my forehead against hers.

"Wow you don't know how long I was waiting for this to happen!" she says picking my lips, we pull away

"Then why didn't you do anything? For a moment today, I thought you just wanted me as your friend."

"And I do I wanna be your best friend but I also want you to be mine!" she caressed my cheek gently making me lean on her touch "Also I didn't want to kiss you and mess up everything if you still didn't want to..."

"You're too good to be true!" I look in her eyes and roll us over making me lay on top of her "How would you feel if we could play together?"

"What? Are you serious? That would be amazing." She smiled at me excitedly.

"Well, I still think this is your family..."

"They are also your family!" she hugs me close "So this means Jonas wants you on the team?"

"Yeah we talk about what happened and the risks, he told me I wasn't a risk and I already proved the doctor once wrong... He gave me time to think."

"What's on your mind?"

"Well, I'm thinking about the risks? What if I mess up? I don't know there is so much on my mind."

"I get the risks will always be on your mind, but what does your heart tell you?"

"To go for it, it's worth it, it's a dream I thought I had to give up on it!"

"I think it's time you stop thinking and go with your heart..."

"I guess your right, but there is just something missing..." I sit up ready to get up but Alessia sits up and grabs my waist pulling me in her embrace.

"What?" she looks at me confused but also with so much adoration.

"I know this isn't like we probably want this to happen but will you be my girlfriend?" I play with the end of her shirt getting a bit shy, she pulls me in a gentle kiss with so much passion that I melt once we pull away I just whisper "Is that a yes?"

"Yess my bambina!" She picks my lips with every word.

"Alright, what does that mean bambina?" I try to say "You better not be bad-mouthing me, Russo!"

"My girl..." she smirks at me.

"Yes I'm your girl, now tell me what does it mean?" I smile at her.

"My girl!" she says chuckling a bit.

"You have been calling me that all day couldn't have said it?" I push her shoulder gently but she lays down playfully.

"You never ask? Besides you look cute when you are confused!" She smiled and kissed my nose, making me blush and hide my face in her neck.

I was the happiest I could ever be in a long time after all I didn't have to give up on my dream, but I also knew if I hadn't found her I would still be lost on that day when I first saw her.

bambina - girl

#woso #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso fanfics #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo x y/n #alessia russo x you #alessia russo imagine #engwnt x reader #engwnt imagine #lionesses x reader #awfc x reader #awfc imagine

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glutengoblin · 15 days

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imgoingtogetyouback (Sebastian Sallow X Reader)

A/N: I've been bad and haven't been posting much - BUT I swear I have a lot things coming, I just need to work through writer's block a bit more. Anyway, here is something I wrote tonight, since I feel like it's been so long since I've posted anything. As always, any feedback is appreciating (Especially since this is my first smut that I've written)

Summary: Your and Sebastian's on and off again relationship has been driving you crazy- So, you decide to do something about it. (inspired by imgoingtogetyouback by miss TS)

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: NSFW, 18+ only. Minors DNI

Disclaimer: All characters are aged up to 18 in this piece. Also, I am not Taylor Swift and therefore do not own the rights to imgoingtogetyouback

You couldn’t believe that you found yourself here again.

You were drunk at the Three Broom Sticks, nearly falling off your stool as you eyed Sebastian Sallow across the room. Though the place was packed, you managed to keep your gaze steady on him. He cast a sly smirk as he studied the brunette Gryffindor student in front of him. While you had to admit that she was beautiful, it didn’t make the situation any less vexatious.

Neither Poppy nor Natty seemed to notice your intense focus on him, as the conversation at the table continued, and, most importantly, the drinking. Your body began to grow warm with anger as Sebastian leaned in to brush a strand of hair away from the Gryffindor’s face. You didn’t know which part was more frustrating - The fact that he was already touching another girl, or the fact that you loved it when he did that it to you.

After a couple more shots of fire whiskey, the world began to blur to the point where you felt like it was a good decision to confront Sebastian. After all, you had only broken up (for the third time) 2 weeks ago. How did he already think it was okay to go snogging yet another girl? You made a move to stand up, nearly falling off your stool before Poppy caught your arm.

“Woah there… What’s up Y/N?” When you didn’t answer, Poppy’s gaze followed your’s until her eyes pooled with worry. “Nuh-uh, you are not going there. Sit your butt back down.” You shook your head, pulling your arm free of Poppy’s grip.

“No Poppy, I have to- I mean, he’s touching another girl. Already.” Poppy stared at you, clearly concerned about your drunken state as she rubbed her temple.

“I’m not going to be able to stop you, am I?” You shot her a slightly lopsided grin, taking a few more steps forward.

“You know me so well!”

You began to make your way across the room, trying to limit the amount you bumped into the various patrons crowding the tables. Through the low light of the establishment, you could see Sebastian full-on kissing the girl at this point- That wouldn’t stand on your watch.

Marching over to his table, you slammed your hands down and tried to look as threatening as possible. Thankfully, the faint ancient magic glow that cast a blue tint around you seemed to do the trick, as the Gryffindor student looked up at you nervously.

“Can… Can I help you?” She asked softly, clearly trying to discern how to best proceed with caution. Sebastian, on the other hand, looked furious. But before he could voice his frustration, you shot the girl a menacing glare and began to draw your wand.

“Well, if you knew what was best for you, you probably would stop snogging another girl’s boyfriend. Specifically, a girl who could hex you into oblivion if she really wanted to.” At that moment, the Gryffindor clearly no longer valued bravery as much as she thought, as she choose to apologize profusely and quickly leave the table.

Sebastian turned to stare at you, wide-mouthed and red in the face, until he was finally able to speak again. “What the FUCK was that Y/N- You broke up with me!”

You simply shrugged, and gripped his arm, dragging him out towards the front doors. “What if I told you I changed my mind?” Sebastian could hardly get any retort out, sputtering words as you dragged him out into the lamp-lit, rainy street.

Sebastian sputtered some more, before finally yanking free of your grip. “And what exactly makes you think you can just decide that Y/N. For fuck’s sake, didn’t I see you snogging Amit just the other week? I thought you had moved on already, and here you come ruining my chances. I had a good thing going there you know. Plus, you broke up with me, remember?” The Slytherin crossed his arms over his chest, clearly fuming at your actions. Honestly, you were kind of glad you still had this effect on him. After all, Sebastian was the most attractive when he was angry.

You let out a soft chuckle, as you drunkenly took a couple more steps towards him, and placed your hand on his cheek. He flushed at the contact, his resolve clearly flattering a bit. “I mean, I did, but I’ve decided to put your last transgression aside, just for tonight… Assuming you’re interested?” You cocked an eyebrow, trying to give him the most seductive smile you could when this wasted. Sebastian studied your face for only a few moments, before making the decision you always knew he would.

As he leaned in to capture your lips with his own, you pulled him closer to you with fistfuls of his shirt, and apparated you to your room of requirement. You both stumbled a bit at the sudden travel, but Sebastian recovered quickly. Pressing you backward with increasingly more desperate kisses, he pressed you into a wall, and gripped your thighs to hoist you up higher.

You your legs wrapped around his waist, you could already feel his erection growing- You loved having this effect on him, almost as much as you loved being railed by him. You pressed your core against him, rubbing until you gained a satisfied groan from his lips.

Sebastian moved his lips away from yours and began to greedily press kisses against your neck, as his hands traveled under your sweater, gracing your skin with his hot touch. Between kisses, he choked out praises, trying his best to earn a reaction. “Fuck, Y/N- I didn’t know how much I missed your body.” He let out another throaty groan and you pressed yourself against his still-clothed erection, and let out a small sigh of your own.

“If you missed my body that much, you sure are not doing a great job of taking my clothes off.” Sebastian let out a chuckle against your neck, before taking the invitation and beginning to practically rip your clothes off of you, throwing your sweater and skirt to the floor, with your tights following close after. You began to work on his buttons and belt, quickly ridding him of his clothes until only his undergarments remained on, his shirt long discarded and his pants pooled around his legs.

Finally letting you down from your pinned position to fully remove his pants, Sebastian pointed to the chaise lounge. “You, on there, now. Strip while you’re at it.”

To his surprise, you were more obedient than usual, as you gave him a mischievous smirk over your shoulder and began to walk towards the lounge, leaving a trail of undergarments as you went. Eventually, you laid down fully bare, and eyed Sebastian’s form as he made his way over. He too had chosen to discard all of his clothing, and now held his length in his hand, rubbing slowly as he greedily eyed your body.

“All submissive and spread out for me- You know, I think I may like you better like this.” He let around a soft chuckle as he knelt in front of you, grabbing the backs of your knees to yank you closer.

The next thing you knew, his mouth had collided with your core, his tongue traveling over your folds. You let out a moan, your head falling back against the lounge as your hands found purchase in his hair, pulling that delicious mouth of his even closer.

Sebastian obliged willing, his tongue probing your entrance before he moved to suck gently on your clit. You looked down to meet his lustful eyes, as he brought his hand up to your opening. While continuing the suction on your clit, he brought his fingers to your folds, stroking a few times to wet them before dipping them in, gaining an elicit reaction from you.

You groaned his name, as your grip on his hair only tightened. You could feel him chuckle against you, as you let out a few lewd moans. “There, there darling.” Sebastian pistoned his fingers in and out of you harder, moving up your body to stare down at your face. “Don’t worry, I won’t let you come until my cock is inside you. You deserve at least that much for putting me through the wringer these past few weeks.”

You could barely contain your excitement as he eventually withdrew his fingers from you, and used your slick to wet the tip of his cock. He then leaned over your body, positioning himself at your entrance. “Have you been a good girl for me, stayed as tight as I like it?”

You let out a stuttered yes, as your eyes traveled down his form and to his cock, which looked as large as ever. Gods, you loved having sex when Sebastian was mad at you.

Sebastian let out a chuckle, before pressing a needy kiss against your lips. “Good.”

Without warning, you felt him penetrating you. Before you could even adjust, he began to thrust in and out, letting out lewd noises of his own. “Fuck Y/N- You don’t know how much I missed this.” He filled you completely before pulling back out again, delightfully stretching your walls with each thrust.

“Gods, Sebastian- I-I missed you too.” You begged for it harder, wrapping your hands around his back and digging your nails in, drawing him in even closer.

Sebastian’s thrusts began to falter a bit, as he left a mark on your neck, slightly regretting the ruthless pace he had chosen to set. His hands moved down to your hips, one holding you down tightly. The other continued onto your core, as his fingers found purchase against your clit and began to rub those circles you loved, ever so dearly.

You groaned uncontrollably, begging for more, as your orgasm drew ever nearer. Sebastian was clearly in the same boat, as his hips began to falter even more. Still, he tried his best to continue, willing your orgasm to come before his. “Tell me Y/N, can Amit make you feel this good?” He looked up to study your expression, trying his best to hide his worry that you may in fact say yes.

“O-Of course not- fuck… No one can make me feel like you do Sebastian.” That gained a grin from the freckled boy, who rubbed with more pressure as if to reward the answer he so desperately needed to hear.

“Good, then cum for me, babe.” It was only a few moments before you obliged him, your body winding tightly before releasing into wonderful waves of pleasure, that took over your form and made you go limp against the lounge.

Sebastian’s attack on your body only continued, until he eventually filled you with hot trails of his seed, his hips gradually slowing down as he lingered in the warm heat of your connection.

Eventually, once you came to a bit more, you found Sebastian lying beside you, his arms wrapped around your frame as he rubbed your back, pressing gentle kissing against your forehead. You eventually looked up, giving him a shy smile, before reaching up to press a soft kiss against his lips.

Sebastian smiled down at you as well, studying your features with quiet intrigue. “Would it be too forward to ask if this means that we’re back together?”

You let out a small chuckle, pressing your lips gently against his cheek. “I suppose it does… Assuming you can provide dick like that every night.”

Sebastian laughed, brushing a strand of hair from your face behind your ear, cementing the fact that you were once again his. “I suppose I could try… Tough standard to live up to.”

“Oh don’t worry… I’m sure you will. Besides, I know I’ll always be able to find ways to make you mad. You’re kind of an easy target.”

#sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow fanfiction #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x you #sebastian sallow x reader smut #hogwarts legacy smut #sebastian sallow angst

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iouinotes · 1 month

Text

All for you | Carl Gallagher

pairing: Carl Gallagher x female!reader

show: Shameless

warnings: angst, fluff, smut (the reader and Carl are 18 years old in this ff)

summary: Carl is challenged that he can get your money, if he makes you fall in love with him. He loves the challenge until he loves something else more...

authors note: sorry for so many pov switched, I didnt notice it, when I first wrote this ff. Also I haven't had the chance to watch all the seasons yet, but I still hope that Carl's character is somewhat accurate :))

Carl's pov

"Frank, goddamit youre no help! Why are you even lying around here - oh forget it, I don't want to hear it." Fiona's voice echoes in the room, while the entire Gallagher household is present.

The everyday discussion has been going on for too many minutes in which I could have done something better. The damn question “How do we get enough money?”

Lip at college, Ian with his gangster boyfriend, my shitty sister with her kid and then Liam. This family is screwed. No wonder with a father like Frank.

As the argument continues to escalate, I have the misfortune of sitting right next to him.

"You care to share some money, son?" Of course, my attempts to ignore him are unsuccessful.

"The drug trade doesn't always work out so well, but the weapon thing was something. You could give one to your good old dad, you know what the neighborhood is like." I run my hands through my hair in frustration, shaking my head.

"Just get one or two girls pregnant at school, then all of our problems are solved. But she has to be rich. After all, you want to get your hard work paid." Why the hell am I still here?

"You used to be more enthusiastic about my ideas. If you don't want to do play daddy, then use your charm. When I was your age, my cock was enough and the girls were happy."

"Be fucking quiet, no one wants to hear about your pathetic youth." It's no use, he keeps talking.

"I'm only saying, If you make a rich girl fall in love with you, then you can get money to do something nice for your family."

As I get up and walk away from him I take a breath, the tension caused by this idiot sucks.

Still, his words got me thinking. Maybe there's a new girl who would be perfect for this job...

🔗🔗🔗🔗

Your pov

When I moved here, I wasn't sure what to expect. New school, maybe mean classmates and bad cafeteria food. That I might be able to join a group and make friends, people who laugh with me in class or go to the cinema together on weekends.

I was prepared to get lost in the hallways a few times, perhaps to be peppered with embarrassing questions by the teachers. I had even prepared myself for being called a nerd again and therefore spending my lunch breaks alone.

Then things turned out differently. I met two girls who, although they scared me at first with their need to gossip all the time, are good people at heart.

They studied with me (meaning they told me the newest gossip and braided my hair while I did our homework), showed me the city and its pitfalls. I felt comfortable, prepared and confident for what awaited me here.

Oh lord, was I wrong.

On a Thursday in the middle of the week I met a boy who messed everything up. Literally.

I met him when he was running through the halls twenty minutes late, but stupidly didn't pay attention to me, who was about to cross his path. Let's put it this way, it ended with my books on the floor, my jacket hanging off my shoulder, and his hair being a huge mess.

When he looked at me, I expected to hear something like "sorry" or "I'll help you."

You want to know what he said?

"Cute top. Let me know if you need help taking it off."

Then he got up casually and walked into the classroom across the hallway, a grin on his face as if he had won the Bachelor title.

After this encounter two things became very clear to me. 1. Look both ways when crossing the halls and 2. Stop daydreaming about this boy, even if he has beautiful blue eyes.

The first thing worked better than the second.

After a few descriptions, which actually only consisted of "incredibly impudent and incredibly good-looking", it was explained to me who I was dealing with.

Carl Gallagher. A boy who has lived here since he was born, someone who is rumoured to be more dangerous than the Italian Mafia.

Even though I thought that was exaggerated, I quickly realized that I should stay away from him and that he meant trouble.

Aside from the fact that I wasn't going to be in the situation of talking to him again anyway, my eyes couldn't stop themselves from looking at him.

There was something that defined him, something that made me want to watch a grin creep across his face when he made an inappropriate joke, how he would push his blonde hair back and his eyes would shine mischievously, as if he had already planned the next bank robbery.

I wasn't the only one who found his charisma attractive tho, of course not when he looked like one of God's angels, but he never really seemed interested in other girls. At least not with any serious intent, you might hear him flirting or making comments about his free bed, but you would never saw him in a relationship.

He never held hands or kissed anyone, had a real smile on his face or said sweet things, he was just Carl.

Suggestive, hot-tempered and like a flag that proclaimed: Stay away from me, because you will lose this fight.

I also felt that if I continued to watch him, I would lose the battle for platonic feelings towards him too.

"Please don't tell me you're looking at our school bad boy again. You better be careful, he might want to sell you a gun." Kenzie's voice makes me sigh.

"These are just rumors. Besides, it's not my fault, he's just -" Her hand on my shoulder interrupts me.

"We know, you have heart eyes every time you talk about him. There are so many great guys in this world, I'm not saying at this school, but you choose this one?" Her look says more than a thousand words as she looks over at Carl, who is pushing his way trough the crowd.

"I'm not in love, just curious. Those are two different things, okay?" Her eyebrows raise.

"You mean, curious how his lips would feel on yours?" Her laughter at my expression is lost in the sounds of the cafeteria.

"Very funny." I murmur to her, food forgotten on my plate. When the school bell rings, I stand up and pick up my backpack.

"My class is canceled now, but I'm going to the library. Will you meet me later?" As I walk backwards I see her thumbs up and the hearts she makes in Carl's direction. My reaction is two quick middle fingers.

As I walk out of the school building, I check my phone and tie my hair into a braid. The library is a few blocks away and the cool air makes me shiver.

When I get there and wave to the boy at the entrance, I turn to my favorite department. Call it cliche, but I love romance books. I mean, I don't know what it feels like to love someone with all my heart, but that doesn't mean I don't love reading about it.

The books I actually need are a few rows away. History, literature, everything I am assigned to get for school.

As I stroke over a few tapes and finally pull out a book to read the first few pages, I hear a noise next to me that makes me look up. After all, the library is usually a pretty quiet place.

As I look into the familiar blue eyes, I feel my cheeks turn red.

I have to stop myself from staring.

"Always a book in your hand, I see." Oh his voice hasn't changed. I try to shrug casually as I answer, but I'm not sure if it actually works.

"Aren't you going to be late for class again?" At my sarcasm he smiles, he takes a step in my direction which weakens my control over my voice.

"I thought I would learn something somewhere else too." These coded words make me swallow.

"So, you're here often?" I almost think he's not answering me, but maybe I'm just not concentrating, because I'm paying too much attention to every mole on his face.

"Actually, I didn't even know this shitty town had a library." His words make me laugh, but several requests to be quiet around us, make me whisper in response.

"Then why are you here?" I think my breathing stops as his hand brushes my fingers that are still holding the book.

"You're here." I feel my heart beating nervously faster, I probably look pretty confused and when I notice his grin, something flutters in my chest.

"No interest in books, huh?" Can my answer actually be any lamer?

"Dont worry, I have a newfound interest in you."

🔗🔗🔗🔗🔗

Your pov

If someone had told me a few weeks ago that I would become friends with Carl Gallagher, I would have found the idea absolutely crazy. To be honest, I still find the situation insane, but damn my cheeks still turn just as red when he's with me as they did the first time.

It turns out that he really has no interest in books, even though he visited me at the library almost every day since we met in the romance department.

I've never met anyone like him, funny and couragous without any reserve, always looking for trouble, acting self-confident. But also sweet.

He's like a current that pulls you along, like a wind that blows so hard that you fly with it. He feels like freedom and it is wonderful.

He makes me laugh, he carries my books, plays with my hair, walks home with me. In such a short time I feel like he didn't knock on the doors to my heart, instead he made a home there.

Maybe this is what it feels like to fall in love.

It's not a gentle announcement, more of a realization that makes you incredibly desperate and happy at the same time.

But with him I actually just feel happy.

"Ready, sunshine?" As soon as I come out of the classroom, he comes towards me and takes my bag from me. My heart jumps at his gesture, which feels like winning the Olympics.

"You're crazy, where do you even want to go?" He has something planned but won't tell me. When he puts his arm around my shoulder and I lean against him, I get a few sideways glances from our classmates.

Carl ignores everyone like always, it's crazy but the way he's so confident is pretty attractive to me.

"Does the guy in your cheesy books also tell you where they go on dates? I bet not, so just wait."

🔗🔗🔗🔗

"It feels like you're kidnapping me."

I feel his smile on my back and have to giggle quietly at his response.

"Mh, I plan to do that. But only for a few hours, otherwise my head will roll tomorrow. Your father takes your curfew pretty seriously."

I feel his hands on my hips, guiding me forward, hear the birds chirping around us, but can't figure out where we're going.

"Just a few more steps, baby. Then you'll see." As he promised, it is only a few meters away and when I see a small, calm lake, my mouth falls open in surprise.

"Carl, oh my God! It's wonderful here, thank you so much." I turn around in his grip and look at him, his smile reflects the love that I feel.

"Yeah? How much do you like it?" As his eyes focus on my lips, I feel a tingling feeling in my stomach. Slowly, my fingers stroke his chest and I see him swallow, even though he tries to hide it.

"I think it's incredibly beautiful here, I love it. And...I really like you." I shyly lower my gaze, my words are met with an unknown silence that makes me anxious after a few seconds. But when I look up at him again, he pushes a strand of my hair out of my face.

"To me, you are much more beautiful than this sight. I like you too and I thought that was pretty obvious." I smile broadly, butterflies fly around in my stomach and as the sun illuminates his face, I feel incredibly happy.

"You're so nice to me, I don't know how I deserve this." An expression crosses his face, but when I blink he smiles at me again.

"After all, you are the first person who explained the topics for the history exam to me, without giving up." My hand cups his cheek.

"I wouldn't give you up, you've become too important to me." As I stand on my tiptoes, our lips brush, his hand is on my back and pushes me closer to him.

"You are an angel." With his words we kiss and everything else around us blurs, only he remains. Everything is unimportant except him, standing in front of me, so handsome, that it is difficult not to look at him.

"Come on, let's go for a swim." As he pulls me towards the lake, you can hear our loud laughter in the air.

🔗🔗🔗🔗

Carl's pov

"When are you going to collect the money? You've been with her for the last three months and nothing has come of it." Frank's annoying voice frustrates me more than anything else.

"I am working on it. Besides, she's actually really caring." When I see the dismissive hand gesture in my direction, I roll my eyes.

"You are completely wrong, son. A person is there for a certain period of time, but money? Money accompanies you throughout your life, especially if you buy beautiful bottles of the best alcohol."

I sink into the sofa, but want to turn away when I feel his hand on my shoulder.

"If you put it off any longer, it will be harder to get out of the situation. Girls your age will start planning to get married, if you stay with them for months."

But when he leaves, I feel conflicted. Can I really do this to her?

🔗🔗🔗🔗

Carl's pov

"Happy birthday!" Her voice makes me jump and, confused, I turn around on the bench to look into her excited eyes.

"Why are you jumping around like that? Are you practicing for cheerleading?" I'm making fun of her, but the smile on her face doesn't fade.

"No, idiot. I'm just really curious to see how you react to your gift." My breath catches for a moment as I take in her words.

"You got me something?" When she leans forward and gives me a kiss on the cheek while pressing the bag into my lap, I start to smile too.

"Open!" Her encouragement breaks me out of my trance and I quickly tear up the paper, looking at the tickets with wide eyes.

"But...these tickets cost a fortune? Did you sell your liver or something?" When I look at her, she smiles back at me.

"I talked to my dad and he agreed that you deserve something special for your birthday. Are you happy?" As I look at the cards, I suddenly feel a pang in my heart. It must be showing on my face, because her happiness is also fading away.

"Do you not like it? I thought it was your favorite team? I can get you something else." When I look at her, I quickly pull her between my legs and kiss her.

"Shh, breathe angel. It's perfect, thank you. And well, your father. It's just a lot of money." Her hands play with the fabric of my shirt.

"You always say that. Do you have problems at home, with money, I mean? I've never been to your place, I don't even know where you live." What should I say to her now?

"It's okay." Her raised eyebrows look at me reproachfully, making me sigh.

"Each of us has to contribute a certain amount of money every month and if I don't sell fucking drugs, it will be tight." Her astonished look makes me pause and I gently stroke her arms.

Before I can say anything else, she kisses me. I look at her in surprise.

"What's that for?" She smiles shyly, looks at the floor for a moment before looking at me again.

"You're just so honest, I admire that. And that you've never asked me for anything, you know. That I lend you some money."

Fuck. Shit. What do I say?

"Yeah, I mean, I don't want to burden you with that-" but she interrupts me again, her concentrated expression makes me curious.

"What's going on in your pretty head?" My hands wander over her sides.

"It's the end of the month, how much are you missing?" I frown in confusion, but when she doesn't let it go, I tell her the amount.

"$240, the rest I earned by helping in the neighborhood." But despite the high sum, she just nods, looks at me again and gives me another kiss.

"Okay, maybe I'll be your sugar mommy." I have to laugh at the absurdity, but the longer she grins at me, the more I think she means it.

"What, are you serious? Thats fucking crazy, how am I supposed to pay you back?" Her eyes look around, but since the classroom is relatively empty during recess, she finds herself between my legs again. She slowly lets her hand wander down my stomach until she squeezes my cock through my clothes and I close my eyes in delight.

"Hmm, maybe you could help me relax between classes." Her eyes sparkle mischievously and I look at her with a grin.

"Anything you want, sugar."

Let's put it this way, the next few weeks the breaks were filled with kissing in the back corner of the classroom, dry humping on the toilet or Carl doing his best to pleasure me with his tongue in the caretaker's room, like now.

"Ahh-, Carl. I'll cum if you keep that up." His head has disappeared under my skirt, his fingers are stroking the bare skin of my thigh and the sinful movements of his tongue are making me see stars.

As he adds a finger and runs it over my folds, slowly until he inserts it, he looks at me again.

"You coming for me? Yeah, be a good girl or do you want to get caught by the old janitor grandpa spreading your legs for me?" As my eyes roll back, he pumps another finger into me, scissoring it thoroughly and hitting that sweet spot inside me.

When I moan loudly, he grins.

"You like that? Just wait until I bury my cock in you and you cant walk straight afterwards, so that everyone will notice." When his finger presses my clitoris, I see white and as I come I try to muffle the sounds with my hand over my mouth.

When I get off my high, I blindly search for my panties. But Carl beats me first.

"Hmm, no. I think I'll keep it as a little souvenir. Maybe you can get it back when you come to my house later." I don't know what surprises me more: that he wants me to run around exposed at school or that I'm invited to his house for the first time.

"Really? I'd like to come." But he interprets my words differently, his fingers stroke my entrance again and I moan and squeeze my eyes shut.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it. Very well and for a very long time." When the bell rings, he lets go of me and I whimper slightly.

"Carl-" but he interrupts me by pulling back and straightening my skirt.

"I'm sure our agreement was between recess, now it's class time. Come on, I'll make it up to you later."

🔗🔗🔗🔗

Your pov

As we ride the bus toward his home, I take his hand and intertwine our fingers.

"But don't expect a mansion or any of that shit." Ever since we left school, he has been bad-mouthing his hometown every free minute he has.

"Don't worry, I'll only have eyes for you anyway." The statement makes him laugh and he relaxes a little. As we get out and walk a little way along the street, we are watched by a few people.

"Why are so many people staring at us?" When he look at me, I'm obviously confused.

"Not everyone here wears designer clothes that cost several thousand dollars. If you come here more often, they'll call you a princess." Giggling, I slap him on the arm and as we climb the stairs to his house, I look around curiously.

"So this is where you grew up." His shoulders shrug casually, but I see him trying to gauge my reaction.

"Yeah, where in the world could it be nicer?" I laugh at his sarcastic comment and we both smile at each other as we enter the house.

I hear him calling into the house, then a girl with red hair appears, carrying a baby.

"You must be Debbie, the little one is so adorable." When I hold out my hand, she just looks at Carl with her eyebrows still raised.

"What did you do to end up with her? Also my daughter's name is Franny and yes, I know condoms exist." Surprised, I don't know exactly how to answer, so I leave it to Carl.

"My tongue is magic, Debs. Too bad you won't find out yourself anytime soon, Derek has moved away. By the way, Franny seems hungry." I'm unsure of the dynamic between the two of them, as she turns away and walks away, I resist the urge to say goodbye.

"That was...nice." His hand pulling me towards the stairs distracts me.

"She's a real ray of sunshine, come on. The others aren't back yet, so you can be as loud as you want this time."

When we get upstairs, he leads me into his room and I look at the magazines, posters and little things scattered everywhere.

"Cleaning and you are definitely not friends, huh?" I laugh at my joke, but Carl has other plans than letting me inspect his room.

He puts his hands on my hips and pushes me against the closed door, my breath catches as his eyes find mine.

"Do you want to keep playing housemaid? Then put on a damn maid costume, otherwise keep your eyes on me." At his stern voice, I press my thighs together and, grinning, I drag my fingers across his chest once again.

"Would you like that? Me on the floor, my ass in the air, and no underwear? Oh wait, what a coincidence that I'm not wearing any now either." His eyebrows raise, I see his eyes darken with lust.

"Let's save this little fantasy for another time, right now I just want to see you on my cock." Smiling, I lean towards him and start kissing him. I loosen the belt I bought him and pull him closer to me by his waistband.

"I think I did well today. After all, I didn't complain about getting through the school day without underwear. Do I get my reward now?" Grinning, he takes off my top and looks at my lace bra.

"Everything you want." He drops to his knees in front of me and kisses his way along my thighs, lifts my skirt and presses a kiss to my folds. Slowly he moves his tongue higher and kisses my stomach, I lean my head against the door.

"Does that feel good?" I just nod, burying my hand in his hair as he puts his mouth on me again.

"Ahh- Carl, I want you now." His fingers stretch me, the wetness running down my legs, making me tremble.

"You got me, sweetheart. What do you want me to do?" His head lifts to look at me and I place my fingers around his chin, seeing the moisture on his lips.

"I've been prepared enough, I want your dick now. Let's see if it's as magical as your tongue." Grinning, he stands up and lifts me up, lays me on my back on his bed and lies down between my legs.

He places a few kisses on my legs, then stretches up on his elbows so he's hovering over me. Then he kisses my cheek and my lips, lets his tongue slide over them and lets me taste myself.

I run my fingers through his blonde hair and pull his body closer to me. When he pulls a condom out of his pocket, I hold my breath.

"You still want to do this?" His look calms all the worries I had. I nod, stroking my fingers over his heated cheek.

"I trust you." His next kiss is passionate, his hands gliding over my body, caressing every bit of exposed skin. I lift my back off the mattress and let him take off my bra. His head lowers to run his tongue over my navel. As he sucks on them, I moan softly.

One of his hands starts kneading my breasts and when I try to take off my skirt, he stops me.

"Leave it on, okay?" I kiss him in response.

His hand strokes my sides and my own hands rest on his shoulders as he presses the tip of his cock against my entrance.

"Ready, baby?" When I agree, he presses himself into me and for a moment I have to squint my eyes because it hurts.

Then I feel several gentle kisses on my cheek, my forehead and my lips. His attempts to distract me work and as I become more and more relaxed, he slides further into me.

Slowly he presses his hips against me, the stretch so great that I can feel him all the way into my stomach. He waits for a moment, whispering sweet things in my ears until they get dirty and I beg him to move.

My hands wrap around his shoulders as he thrusts into me for the first time, the air around us thickening as he grunts and a moan escapes me.

"You're doing so well, God, you feel so good." His hips move faster and faster, the pleasure spreads through my body and the wetter I feel, the easier he slides in and out of me.

"You are perfect, my perfect girl. Do you feel good?" His hands stroke my skin, gently pinching my nipples, playing with them and making me squirm beneath him.

As he grips my hips and pushes himself harder into me, my head starts to spin. My noises get louder.

"Carl- god, please go harder" And so he does, the room is filled with the sounds of our bodies and sweat forms on us.

"Baby, do you want to ride me? You have such pretty thighs." I nod and when he pulls out of me I can't think clearly, I just want him to fill me up again.

He leans back and as I stabilize myself on his shoulders, I sink back onto him. The feeling is even better that my eyes roll back. His hands grasp my hips, helping me move.

"That's right, baby. You're doing so good, riding my cock like the good girl you are." At his words, I tighten my grip on him and he curses as I move harder on top of him.

The faster I go, the more exhausting it becomes, but as I feel a knot forming in my stomach, I ride him so fast just to chase my pleasure.

Then suddenly as he hits my spot inside me over and over again, I go boneless on him and melt in his arms. My come drips all over him and as he continues to fuck me, reaching his own climax, I tremble in his grip.

"Just a few more thrusts, baby. Ah, keep holding on to me." Even though I have lost my strength, I move on him a few more times until he comes and I lay my head on his shoulder.

We're both breathing heavily, but everything feels so good, so warm and comfortable, that I don't want to move a single muscle anymore.

He carefully pulls out of me, I moan slightly at the loss. He gently lays me back on his pillow and gives me a kiss before throwing the condom away.

He pulls the blanket over us and puts his arm around me to pull me closer. I snuggle up to him and feel so safe that I quickly press my lips to his skin.

"That was wonderful." He also presses a kiss on my hair.

"That was incredible, you are the best. I can't wait to do it again." Our embrace becomes tighter. For a moment the room is silent.

When I whisper his name, he hums in response.

"I know it's cliche to say something like that after the first time. But I just feel it so much that it hurts to keep it to myself. I love you." As I lie on his chest I hear his heart stop for a moment and then it starts beating much faster.

"I- no one has ever said that to me before." When I raise my head and look at him, he doesn't look at me. Instead, his eyes are fouced on the ceiling.

"I just want you to know. I don't want to put any pressure on you to say it. I just thought you should hear it. You know, now that things are serious between us." Again he is silent and I start to worry, but then he looks at me.

"You are truly the most incredible person I have ever met. I consider myself very lucky." He smiles at me, then leans down and we kiss for a moment. It feels like heaven.

We lay there for a few minutes, just cuddling and telling each other how our day was. We laugh and as the sun slowly sets, I start to get dressed.

"I wish I could stay here with you. But you know what my parents are like." He leans back on his elbow, watching me get dressed and contact my parents to pick me up.

"Hmm, I think we would do it again. If you stayed here tonight, I mean." I smile at him, sit down on his bed for a moment and ruffle his hair.

"I wouldn't mind, darling." The nickname makes him blush and when he leans forward to kiss me, I playfully push him away.

"I have to go, are you coming down with me?" He nods, feigning annoyance, and as we walk out of his room, he puts his arm around my waist and pulls me towards him.

He steals his kiss there, but more than that he steals my heart.

We smile at each other and for this moment everything is just perfect. We go downstairs and just as we are back in the living room we hear a door open loudly.

A visibly drunk man stumbles in. I see Carl tense up next to me, staring at the stranger angrily. I quietly lean towards him to whisper my question.

"Who is that?" When he rolls his eyes, I get a bad feeling.

"That's my father, great isn't it?" The man in front of me is dirty, has unkempt hair and an unpleasant smile on his face.

"Should I ask my parents if you can stay overnight?" My gaze is more focused on the man than on Carl.

But he just shakes his head, and just as he is about to answer, the man sees us too.

"Oh, my son! It's so good to see you, not really, but I'll take your bed. Fiona has mine. Is that your little girlfriend? She looks expensive, very good catch. How much money did you rip her off? I hope it's worth it to go through all this drama." I frown in confusion, but when Carl freezes next to me, I become uncertain.

"What does he mean by that?" This time my gaze is directed solely at Carl.

"Nothing, he's drunk-" but before he can finish, the man does.

"How rude of me, I am Frank. The proud father of this child, at least one of my descendants has made something of himself and used his talent. He has my good genes, the good looks and I teach him the tricks. Like exploiting an innocent, very very rich girl for money. It doesn't bother you, I hope? You seem to have enough, but I hope my son returns the favor to you."

The words catch me so off guard that I can't move. I don't believe anything this man says until I see the guilty look on Carl's face.

"W-what? That's a lie, right? Tell me he's lying, Carl." As he runs his hands through his hair and tries to answer me, Frank speaks again.

"Oh, you haven't confessed to her yet? My fault, I should have waited. I didn't think you would humiliate this girl for so long. I told you this wouldn't end well." But Carl ignores him completely when he notices me moving away from him.

"Wait, I'm sorry. It wasn't like that-" But I interrupt him, already feeling tears gathering in my eyes.

"So what happened? You act like you don't want any money from me and-" Carl's look becomes frustrated.

"You offered me your money! You said if I matched it, everything would be fine for you." I'm almost speechless, is this all a nightmare?

"Are you serious? I offered it to you because you weren't asking for it. And now I find out it was your plan from the beginning? You just talked to me, just spent time with me to get my money? Who does that?" Frank's voice intervenes.

"I invented the strategy, my dear. It's turning out to be quite useful." But I don't pay attention to him, I just look at Carl.

"Please, I'm sorry. Yes, it was meant that way in the beginning, but it's different now. I-" My tears flow when he admits it and any feeling of happiness disappears. All that remains is betrayal and sadness.

"You what? What am I saying, you were probably happy that I only wanted you in return. I'm such an idiot. You didn't just take my money, you took my first time too!" As he comes towards me, I step back.

"Listen to me, I didnt force you to do all this for me. You wanted it." The more he talks the more desperate I feel and the greater my anger becomes.

"You idiot! I thought you liked me! I thought you finally noticed me too." My sobs get louder and my vision blurs. When he tries to grab my face, I slap him.

"My cue to go. I can see that you're sorting it out between yourselves just fine." Frank's footsteps fading away are nothing compared to the sound of my heart breaking.

"I like you, I really like you. At first it wasn't my intention to start a relationship with you, but then I got to know you and-" Every word that escapes him is only worse.

"Stop talking! You know what the worst thing is that I liked you for so long before you even talked to me. And I thought it was a miracle when you first spoke to me in the libary. I should have listened to the others, you only care about yourself!" I wipe the tears from my cheeks, wishing I could be anywhere but here.

Then before he can say anything, I turn around and run out of the house. But I hear him following me.

"Wait! Don't just walk away, I have to get this straight. Hey!" He catches me, turns me around and holds my tear-stained face in his hands.

"I'm an idiot, I know that. I'm sorry for hurting you. I- God, I love you. You hear me? I love you too. Please stay." But I just shake my head and try to free myself from his grip.

"How do I know if that isn't a lie too? You've betrayed me, I can't talk to you now." When my car pulls up, I get in without turning around. I don't look back, even though his loud curse can be heard throughout the whole neighborhood.

🔗🔗🔗🔗🔗

Your pov

I spend the next few days without saying much, but I cried almost the whole time.

I miss him incredibly, not a day has gone by in the last few months when I haven't seen him and now I've been alone for three days.

I wish he was here, but on the other hand I am so hurt and feel terrible. He is the reason for this.

I wish I had never found out. I wish he had never done it, never lied to me. Didn't use me for money, but worst of all, I don't know if he even likes me.

Today is the first day that I go back to school. Even though I put on make-up, choose a nice outfit and listen to my favorite songs to distract myself, I can only think of him.

His blonde hair, his beautiful eyes, the way his lips felt. How he felt inside me. Then I remember that he loves me and how he finally said it, something I have wanted to hear for so long.

But then I think about what he did and everything feels empty again.

As I enter the school, my friends come to meet me. They already know what happened, they all hug me and I feel a little better.

Until I see him.

And he sees me too. It takes all my effort to avert my gaze. To get my books out of my cupboard, but then I have to stop because he is not standing next to me offering to carry them.

I take it myself, close my door, but before I can go any further, he is standing in front of me. My heart stops. Oh, how his eyes shine.

"Do you need help?" His eyes focus on the books and I have to swallow several times before I can answer.

"No, I have to go to class now." But as I try to walk past him, he stops me.

"You don't answer my texts, you don't call me back. I'm not allowed into your house and you avoid me at school. What can I do? Please tell me what I need to do, so you forgive me." I laugh, but it is without humor.

"What can you do? Move."

I can see his shock, but he still doesn't step aside.

"Can't you hear me? I said-" but he walks toward me until I'm forced to lean my back against the lockers.

His eyes find mine.

"I can't sleep. And when I do, I dream of you. There's a - a hole in my heart that only you can fill. It hurts and I hate not being with you. It's even worse to be here, when you don't look at me the way you usually do. You don't smile at me, God, you don't look like you're in love with me anymore. It's hell."

Tears gather in my eyes, his words are so desperate, it hurts to see him like this.

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you took advantage of me. Before you slept with me." A tear runs down my cheek and I know my mascara is smudging.

"I know, I know. And I feel so bad, I'll do anything to make it right. Just tell me."

When I look into his eyes, my heart also hurts.

"Move, Carl. I can't see you now." This time he lets go of me and I go to class with tears in my eyes.

🔗🔗🔗🔗

Your pov

It's been four weeks since we last spoke, but it doesn't hurt any less to see him. Even if I don't let him talk to me, he doesn't give up.

He puts flowers in my locker, chocolate, and notes full of apologies and sweet promises.

Everything warms my heart, but it still feels like this money thing is unresolved between us. I know now that he likes me, very much in fact, as he makes it clear, but that doesn't change the real problem.

That he used me for my money.

As I leave school that day, I feel exhausted and, as I often do, I wish I had his arms around me.

Holding me tight, his lips kissing me, loving me.

As I wait for my father's car, I suddenly hear his familiar throat clearing. With my heart pounding, I turn around and see him smiling uncertainly at me.

"I know what I had to do and now I've done it. Here." He gives me an envelope and I take it uncertainly.

"Carl, your letters are flattering, but-" He quickly interrupts me.

"No, it's something else. Open it." The deja vu hits me unexpectedly and I slowly open the envelope, the content leaves me speechless.

"What is that supposed to be?" It's rhetorical, but I ask anyway.

"All the money I owe you. What you've kindly given me, I pay it back. Every cent. You can count." He looks so proud, I almost have to laugh.

"How- did you rob a bank?" He grins contentedly at my reaction.

"An old grandma." This time I laugh and he comes closer to me, slowly taking my hands.

"No, seriously. How did you do that?" He looks at me lovingly.

"Working in the kitchen every day after school, I found a part-time job with Fiona. The payment is bad, but it was worth it. I understand that money was the problem and well, that I wasn't honest to you." As I lower the envelope, we look at each other.

"Promise, no more secrets?"

He smiles and suddenly the world is a brighter place.

"Promise, but we continue one of our agreements." I raise my eyebrows questioningly, seeing him grin as he leans toward me, his breath brushing against my lips and he whispers:

"I'll still spend my breaks with you in the janitor's room."

The laughter that escapes me gets interrupted, when his lips meet mine.

#carl gallagher #shameless #x reader #love #smut #betrayal #love confessions #angst with a happy ending #angst

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augustghosts · 1 year

Text

The Best Thank you

Tommy Miller x fem!reader

On that night in 2003, Tommy calls his girlfriend instead of Joel.

(let's pretend the literal apocalypse doesn’t happen for this one, ok?)

I started writing this like a week ago before ep 6 and after seeing ep 6 I haven't been able to stop thinking about tommy fucking miller. Anyways, this ends kind of abruptly because i’m bad at endings lol. And this is the worst title ever, I couldn't think of one. Hope you enjoy <3

Warnings: 18+ so minors dni pls, not proofread so lmk if u spot any mistakes lmao. Lots of pet names. Established relationship, ppl in love n all that. Oral (f receiving), unprotected sex. Tommy defo whimpers btw.

Word count: 3.1k

“Shit!” She almost rolled her eyes at herself as she did the classic scramble around the bed in the dark for her phone. After a few seconds she grasps it, her eyes squinting as she looks over a number she doesn’t recognise. She considers not answering, it is midnight. But calls this late are usually important, right? Fuck it.

“Hello?” She’s hesitant, but the sigh she lets out makes it sound like she’s annoyed. Tommy is nervous, he’s actually fucking nervous. After no answer from Joel, he didn’t know what else to do. He was well and truly fucked. He's leaning against a cold wall, the payphone is heavy in his hand - not as heavy as the stare the officer who’s watching him is giving him. He looks down at his boots instead and squeezes his eyes shut before replying. The sound of her voice immediately helped his situation.

“Hey, honey!” He sounds a little too cheery, he honestly cringes at himself. He can’t tell if its the pure fucking anxiety he’s feeling because of this phone call or the alcohol.

“Tommy? What’s wrong?” She sussed him out immediately, the sounds of his voice initially putting her at ease before she sensed the edge in it. God, he thinks, she’s so damn smart. And she knows him so well. He catches himself smiling at the just the thought of her, until he remembers where the fuck he is.

“Yeah. I’m, uh - I'm okay.” Did he just stutter? This is one of those times he wished she didn’t have this kind of effect on him.

“Okay?” She beckons him to continue, leaning over to her nightstand to flick the light on. Her room is illuminated revealing a pair of Tommy’s shoes by her door and some clothes he’d left there still thrown over the back of her chair.

“Look, I'm - um.” Fuck, Tommy. Just say it. “I’m in jail.”

There’s a pause on the other end, a pause that’s a little too long and makes him think she’d hung up. He takes the phone away from his ear to glance at it, as if that would help. Her voice is small when it finally comes through. “What?”

“Did you actually not hear me or do you just want me to say it again?” He tries to joke.

“Say it again.” Her voice is stern, it immediately shuts him down.

“I’m in jail.” He sighs.

There’s another pause before she asks: “Are you okay?”

His heart squeezes in his chest. He had expected a million sighs, a telling off or maybe even a dial tone ringing in his ear telling him she’d hung up on him. But no, of course she’s not like that. He knows that - she’s better than anyone he’d ever met. Of course his beautiful girl with her beautiful heart, who had just been woken up at midnight, was going to ask him if he was okay.

“Yeah. I’m fine.” His voice is uncharacteristically small.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. It's- you know I was at the bar and one of my buddies got into a fight and I was just helping him out. I think maybe I knocked the guy out, I don't know.” He does know. He did knock the guy out and honestly, he was pretty proud of it. But he doesn’t want to tell her that.

“Oh, okay.” Honestly, she’s confused. Not sure why he was calling her, didn’t he have a brother?

“Anyway, look baby, I'm sorry but I need you to help me out.”

“How?” She asks. She’s sitting up now, and suddenly she doesn’t feel tired anymore.

He sighs again, he really doesn’t want to be doing this. “Darlin’, I really am sorry but I need you to bail me out.”

She’s silent again for a second, “Now?”

“Yeah, it’s friday. If I don't get out tonight I'll be here all weekend.” He’s speaking faster now, he sounds like he’s panicking. Shit, is she really gonna do this? Of course she is. She sighs as she stands up. Tommy hears it and it makes his chest squeeze again, guilt flooding him as he speaks. “Please. I’m sorry.”

“Which jail?” She asks - he tells her. A feeling of relief almost overtakes the guilt as he hears her shuffling around on the other end.

“Okay.” She says, slipping her shoes on. “I’ll be there soon.”

“Shit, thank you sweetheart. I’ll make it up to you.” He promises. She doesn’t respond - the line goes dead. Honestly, he feels like he’s getting mixed signals. Was she mad? Was she upset? He couldn’t tell. Fuck Joel for not answering.

Half an hour later she’s pulling up in front of the station. Her heart is beating faster than ever, maybe she should have left him here over the weekend. Taught him a damn lesson. She knows she doesn’t mean that, but she seriously considers it as she gets out of her car. The place is weirdly empty for a Friday night, a few people sitting on chairs in front of the desk. Only two people sitting behind said desk, she had expected it to be a lot crazier. Maybe the crazy is happening where Tommy is, somewhere in the back. In just a few minutes after a conversation at the desk Tommy is walking towards her. He looks more nervous than she’s ever seen him. His usual cocky and confident demeanor, which she loves so much, has been replaced by guilt and embarrassment. She stands with her arms crossed as she waits, watching as he’s handed back his phone and wallet.

“Hey.” He says as he turns to her, he almost wishes he could go back inside.

“Hi.” She replies, she turns and leaves. He follows, already going through an apology speech in his head. When they get outside she stops by her car, turning to face him.

“Baby, look, I'm sorry. I-” He starts his speech but is cut off by her soft hands grasping his face. Her hands are warm on his cheeks and he brings his own hand up to rest on top of hers.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asks. He nods, his gorgeous brown eyes wide as he anticipates what she’s going to do next. She surprises him by leaning up to kiss him, pulling his head down to meet her lips. He sighs as she kisses him softly, his hands wrap around her middle - he pulls her as close as he can. He had been contemplating tonight being the end of this, all his worries that he had disappointed her melting away as he felt her smile against his lips.

“You’re an idiot.” She mumbled against his skin as she pressed a kiss to his cheek. He mirrored the grin on her face as he pulled away from her, she was still holding his face lovingly.

“I know.” He smirked. Shit, even after all this - a night of drinking, an apparent bar fight and a few hours in jail, he still looked gorgeous.

“So, am I taking you home or?” She trailed off, stepping away from him and rounding her car to the drivers side.

“Only if you’re coming with me.”

“We’ll go to mine then. I have work in the morning.” She says, and that guilty feeling almost returns, but when he sees the smirk on her face, he mirrors it with the same amount of enthusiasm.

When they enter her apartment, Tommy suddenly isn’t as nervous anymore. Alcohol still running through his veins and excited over the thought of getting to spend the night with his girl instead of in a fucking cell. She’s slipping her shoes off and placing her keys down on the shelf beside the door when he approaches her from behind, wrapping his arms around her - chin on her shoulder.

“You’re my goddamn hero.” He jokes, mumbling the words against her skin as he nuzzled into her neck.

“Sounds like you were the hero tonight.” She whispers back, placing her hands over his and leaning back into him. He’s pressing kisses along her neck as he responds.

“Yeah, and i got fuckin’ arrested for it.”

She laughs loudly, turning in his arms to kiss him again. More passionately and messily than in front of the police station. His hands grip her hips tighter, one traveling down to knead at her ass. Her own hands push his button up off of his shoulders, leaving him in just his white shirt. God, he looked good today. She can feel his cock through the front of his jeans as his hand on her ass pulls her forwards into him.

“I gotta admit,” She pulls away from him, his mouth tries to follow hers but she grasps his hand, leading him to her room. “It is kinda sexy, Thinking about you winning a fight.”

She decides that maybe he deserves a bit of a show after the night he’s had. He’s standing in the doorway watching her, his trademark smirk plastered onto his face as she slowly takes her shirt off - Tommy’s shirt, actually. Already braless from being woken up at midnight, the jacket she had thrown on top of his shirt has already been abandoned at the door. He couldn’t lie about noticing her nipples through her shirt as she’d taken the coat off earlier. He makes a show of crossing his arms and leaning against the door frame, the smirk now turned into a grin. One that she's mirroring as she unbuttons her jeans and slowly slides them down her legs. His eyes follow, once they trail over her hips and legs he decides he can’t take it anymore. Having her standing in front of him in nothing but panties is not how he thought this night was going to end.

“Fuck, baby.” His voice is noticeably deeper now as he comes to her, gripping her hips so she's against him. Her bare chest pressed against his clothed one. “I’m gonna give you the best thank you you’ve ever had.”

And with that, he crouches down to haul her up into his arms - her legs wrapping around his waist as she laughs above him. He presses a quick kiss to her lips before dropping her down onto the bed. It’s his turn to put on a show now as he rids himself of his own shirt. He kneels in front of her and presses a kiss to her ankle before grabbing them both and using them to haul her towards the end of the bed. His mouth is inches from her pussy and she sighs as she feels him pressing kisses up her legs. He’s always been a tease, he lives for the sounds she makes. He loves to see her squirm. And squirm she does as he begins to slowly suck and bite the skin on her thighs.

“Tommy.” She sighs his name and tugs on his hair and he swears his cock twitches in his jeans. “Please touch me.” Fuck, the effect she has on him is insane. He wants nothing more than to rip the denim off of his legs and fuck her into the matress, but he knows what she needs. And he will always give it to her. He presses one last kiss to her stomach before sliding her panties down her legs and throwing them behind him.

“You’re so pretty, baby.” He whispers, just inches away from where she needs him. He used his thumbs to part her lips, a groan leaving his lips as he leaned in and dragged his warm tongue down the length of her. She sighed above him, her hands still holding onto his hair. He focuses on her clit, his tongue drawing tight circles over the nub. After a couple of strokes he closed his mouth around it, sucking gently.

“Shit, Tommy.” One of her legs lifted around his shoulder, her heel pushing him further towards her. He smiled against her, he loved pleasing her. She always thought about how lucky she had gotten with Tommy. A man who knows what he’s doing, and loves to do it. After playing with her clit for as long as she could take he pulled away. A beautiful smile on his face as he watched her squirm, her hands grasping his shoulders trying to push him back down.

“You wanna come for me, gorgeous?” He asked, breathless.

“Please.” She nods enthusiastically, just as breathless as him. “Please make me come!”

“Whatever you want princess.” He smirks, bringing his mouth back down to her pussy. His lips closed around her clit once more. He brings a hand up underneath his mouth, a single finger tracing her entrance before pushing inside. He moans against her when he feels how wet she is, adding another finger. She’s whining above him, moaning his name and pulling on his hair and he thinks about how he could definitely come like this. Shit, he has before. He fucks her with his fingers exactly the way he knows she likes, his tongue continuing to dance on her clit until she closes her thighs around his head.

“Oh fuck, Tommy!” She moans loudly, neither of them have time to think about her neighbors right now. “I’m gonna come.”

He continues what he’s doing as she grips harder on his hair, her legs closing tightly around his shoulders as she arches her back as she comes. He watches her face, she always looks so gorgeous like this. He fucking loves it. He fucking loves her. He keeps going until she's giggling breathlessly and pushing him away. He sits up, kneeling at the bottom of the bed between her legs, pressing one last kiss to her thigh before standing up and ridding himself of his jeans. She whimpers when she sees just how hard he is. He looks gorgeous as he stands above her, his cock flushed and leaking. He climbs on top of her to kiss her messily, her wetness still around his mouth as he pushes his tongue inside of hers.

“How do you want me?” She whispers against his lips.

“Fuck, turn around sweetheart.” He’s grinning at her as she follows his instructions. Turning around onto her stomach and leaning on her elbows. He takes a hold of her hips, pulling her ass up so he can get a view of her dripping pussy. “God I can't wait to fill you up, you ready for me?”

“I’m always ready for you.” She smiles at him over her shoulder. He groans at her words, realizing he cant wait any longer, he takes a hold of his throbbing cock and lines himself up to her glistening hole. They both moan as he pushes in, her warm walls welcoming him as they squeeze him in.

“So fuckin’ tight.” He whimpers as he begins to set a pace. “God, i fuckin’ love your pussy.”

She feels like his words make her more wet, if that's even possible.

“I love your cock, Tommy.” She moans as he fucks her slowly, holding himself back. He wants to enjoy her, but her heavenly cunt makes it so difficult. “Please, make me feel good.”

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I'm gonna.” He says through gritted teeth. He always does, but she loves to tease him. And she knows how much he loves to hear her beg for him. He continues to fuck her like this, picking up his pace eventually when she begins to whine for him to go faster. She breathes his name as his cock begins hitting just the right spot, her hands tightening around the bedsheets - needing something to hold on to. Her chest pressed up against the bedsheets, her body being thrust forward as Tommy fucks into her, adds deliciously to the stimulation. He knows her so well, he can feel when she's getting close. Her silky walls tighten around him, her hands clenching and unclenching as her back arches more. Her whines of his name becoming higher in pitch. He’s close too, so with a smack to her ass that makes her yelp he pulls out. She doesn’t have time to process as he turns her over climbing over her again to kiss her. She moans against his mouth, his soft lips and tongue mixing with her own. Her legs wrap around his body as he pushes into her again. Immediately setting a bruising pace, both of them too close to care.

“You gonna come for me baby? Yeah?” He eggs her on as she nods, desperately. “Come on baby come around my cock. Let me feel it.”

The sight of her reaching down to play with her clit as she comes undone beneath him is enough to do it for him.

“Where do you want it?” He hisses. He knows the answer, but he always asks anyway.

“Come inside me Tommy. I wanna feel you.” He practically whimpers her name as he empties inside of her. She pulls his face down towards her again, wanting to hold him close. He bites into her shoulder as she whimpers in his ear, still coming down from her own high. Both of them enjoying the feeling of him filling her pussy up.

“Holy shit.” She murmurs. A drowsy smile on her face as she plays with his hair until he eventually lifts his head from her shoulder. He laughs before pressing a kiss to her cheek. He sits up, pulling out of her and biting the inside of his cheek as he watches his come drip out of her.

“I love you.” She says, reaching for him again.

“I love you more.” He smiles as she pulls him down for a kiss. “You gotta sleep, not long until you need to get up for work.”

“Yeah,” She agrees, still trying out her breath. She stands up to make her way to the bathroom and stops at the door to say: “A long night of being a hero.” She hears him laugh from the bed as she shuts the bathroom door, her legs still slightly wobbly and tingling. He definitely kept his promise, the best damn thank you she’d ever had.

#Tommy miller #hbo tommy miller #tlou #the last of us #hbo the last of us #Tommy miller fic #Tommy miller x reader #Tommy miller x fem reader #Tommy miller smut #Gabriel luna #the last of us fic #the last of us smut #smut

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