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mypoisonedvine · 9 months

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𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 (part one) | neil lewis x reader

title comes from the song you already know by bombay bicycle club

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | you've been best friends with neil basically your entire life, and secretly in love with him almost as long. will you ever find the courage to tell him the truth?

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 10k

𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | smut, angst, pining/unrequited love - 18+ only

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | alcohol consumption, 'kid' as a petname, reader being kind of a femcel, jonathan being kind of mvp??

Neil had asked you to make sure the Thriller section was alphabetized; sometimes you thought he was just giving you tasks to look busy, but then again, you could probably use it since the employees of Gumshoe Video never looked very busy. You spent most of the day on the couches, watching whatever old bizarre gem Neil put on— sometimes you thought he only had employees other than himself so that he could pay people to sit here and watch this stuff with him.

But, the point is, you were sorting tapes. Because everyone needs their VHS thriller movies to be in perfect alphabetical order.

There actually was a customer in the store, for once, so it was better not to be on the couch anyhow. You hadn’t really noticed him when he came in, but as he wandered around the shelves, he seemed to drift towards you.

You tried to ignore him when he stopped right beside you— and kneeling to look at the lowest shelf, he towered over you— but when you stood up he got your attention.

"Need any help, sweetheart?" he asked, leaning in a little too close. "I'm kind of a movie buff."

He had a frat guy kind of look about him— polo, boat shoes, quaffed blonde hair. He could be good-looking, you thought, if he didn’t dress like a discount Abercrombie model… and if he didn’t hit on random women at the video store. "I actually work here," you corrected, barely looking up from your task. This is why we need uniforms instead of just dressing up to promote specials…

"Oh, really?" he smirked. "What made you wanna work in a place like this?"

"My best friend owns the place," you explained, "and I'm, you know… kind of a movie buff."

"Right," he said, not seeming convinced. "You like Kubrick?"

You rolled your eyes so hard you almost choked: Wow, what a deep cut. But you kept a straight-ish face when you looked at him. "Yeah, he's pretty good. Don't care for how he treats his actors, but he was certainly a visionary."

"What are your top five favorite Kubrick movies?"

You knew this guy was a tool, but you were still a bit shocked that he actually had the gall to quiz you. "Excuse me?" you scoffed incredulously.

"Can you even name five?" he asked, looking horribly proud of himself, and you straightened up as you glared at him.

"You're heterosexual, right?" you asked him, getting a confused nod. "Can you name five women you've made come?"

Neil watched the guy storm out, Lucien cringed a bit from behind the register— and Jonathan, not seeming as if he had been paying attention at all, kept laying across the couch and tossing a ball up in the air to catch and throw again.

“Okay, that’s gotta be the third this week,” Lucien groaned. “What are you saying to these guys?”

“Nothing worse than what they’re saying to me,” you assured with a frustrated, sarcastic smile.

“Listen, don’t get me wrong,” Neil began, “that guy totally deserved it— but maybe, you know… work on your demeanor with customers?”

“Wow,” you scoffed as you crossed your arms, “do you think I should smile more, too?”

“Wha— no!” Neil denied.

“Yes,” Lucien said at the same time, though he changed his answer with an awkward cough and mumble when you both shot him a look. “No, no— you’re good— you smile too much, even…”

“I don’t mean it like that,” Neil promised. “But I think half the guys that come here are just coming here to see you! Nobody even rents movies anymore.” He groaned a little, dropping his shoulders defeatedly. “Can’t you… tell them you’ll go out with them if they rent something?”

“What?!” you squeaked. “No!”

“Sales would double,” Lucien nodded.

“No,” you said again. “I’m not letting you pimp me out to sell tapes, Neil.”

“I just mean— maybe you don’t really go out with them,” he suggested. “Just… allude to the fact that you’re only interested in guys who…”

He trailed off as he searched around the shelves for a bit, smiling when he snagged a copy of The Maltese Falcon.

“— in guys who like The Maltese Falcon,” he grinned, “you know— for example. Then they rent it to impress you and we make a few bucks.”

“I am only interested in guys who like The Maltese Falcon,” you frowned, snatching the tape away and shoving it back on the shelf. “But that’s not the point.”

“Maybe you have to be more straightforward, you know,” Jonathan butted in as he sat up, “guys are dumb.”

“Yeah!” Neil agreed a little too easily.

“Just say something about how a massive VHS collection turns you on,” Lucien suggested, and you glared at him.

“Jesus!” you protested, but Neil tried to soothe you a bit.

"C'mon, kid, can't you just… flirt a little? Get our sales up?"

He'd started calling you kid since you two watched Casablanca together— which was especially stupid as you were both twelve at the time. At first you complained because he shouldn't be calling you kid with you both being kids; then you complained because neither of you were kids; and then you gave up. You still punched Lucien for trying to call you that once… you only barely let Neil get away with it anyways.

But you let Neil get away with a lot. It was a side effect of being secretly, but massively, in love with him.

It had been an issue since middle school— that was when the two of you became such good friends. Technically, you’d known each other since first grade (where you had shared your crayons, a true test of friendship at the time), and you’d sort of had a crush on him as early as elementary school (mainly because he was the only boy you could stand at the time), but it all kicked into high gear in seventh grade. That was when you became inseparable, when you got in trouble together, when you stayed up all night watching movies, when you went through all of life’s ups and downs together: you even went to prom together, platonically of course.

As for your feelings, you’d managed to hide them this long and still be his best friend, even when it sometimes felt like letting him stomp all over your heart without even trying. Honestly, the only thing harder than being in love with Neil was trying not to be in love with Neil: you adored his sense of humor, his generosity, his sensitivity— and he’d been there for you through the things you couldn’t have imagined surviving alone. That kinda stuff bonds you to somebody… and when that somebody has the most gorgeous eyes you’ve ever seen, it’s hard not to fall in love.

“Maybe I would flirt if I knew how,” you offered. “But I’m not exactly, you know, flirty.”

“How hard could it be?” Jonathan interjected. “Just, you know—”

You stared in quiet disbelief as Jonathan attempted to push his chest together with his arms. It wasn’t quite working, of course, and the rest of you watched on as he fumbled around trying to force some cleavage. “You look like an idiot,” you finally informed him after letting him do it for a minute.

“But is he wrong?” Lucien wondered.

“So, what, you guys really think that if I just went up to customers and—” you pushed your breasts together with your arms, accentuating them significantly in your tank top.

“That would work,” all three men asserted in unison before you could even finish.

“I fucking hate you guys,” you grumbled under your breath as you walked to the back, deciding to take your break in Neil’s office until these guys got their act together.

You never stayed gone for long, though— as idiotic as they could be, your friends were certainly charming. They won you back with a promise to let you pick what tape to put on, and the four of you ended up laying on the couches watching Roman Holiday.

When the movie was almost over, you rested your head on Neil’s shoulder; you guys did stuff like that, it was normal for you, but it always made your heart skip anyways.

This time, you were all hanging out at Jonathan’s primary workplace: the club. In fact, it was a much larger crowd than just you and the guys— plenty of your local friends and loyal supporters of Gumshoe Video, all sitting around a big table while someone’s mediocre cover band took the stage.

"So, uh, me and Denise broke up," Neil said suddenly, going back in for another swig of beer right after.

The others offered their mild shock and half-hearted condolences, but you knew it was going to happen— he'd told you before he did it. You tried to tell him that paying off a waiter to spill water on her was a weird way to prove what he already knew, but you couldn't disagree with his conclusion. She was definitely difficult, and shockingly judgemental for someone who managed to date a video store owner for this long.

“No, it’s fine, it’s fine,” he promised, “I don’t think anybody’s too surprised, right?”

There was an awkward hesitation among the group as they wondered if they should lie, or just fess up now that he was obviously accurate. You broke the silence to suggest someone go get another round of drinks for the table, and even though that was pretty much a one-man job, nearly everyone agreed and quickly shuffled off— leaving just you, Neil, and Lucien.

“I guess tonight’s your chance to meet somebody new, don’t you think?” Lucien suggested. “Get over Denise, you know.”

“I think I’m already over Denise,” Neil decided.

“And if I told you that girl back there,” Lucien returned, pointing with the hand still holding his drink, “has been looking over here at you for the past ten minutes?”

You glanced where Lucien was pointing as well, seeing a girl in a denim mini skirt and massive hoop earrings settle her eyes on Neil before looking away quickly with a lip-gloss lacquered smile.

“I think I need some help getting over Denise,” Neil agreed suddenly, patting Lucien on the back before he left the table.

You wanted to pout, but you were used to this— he was good-looking, he got a lot of attention from women in places like this… it usually didn’t work out for him, though. Certainly not never, probably more often than most guys, but… definitely not every time.

You tried not to look over too much, you didn’t want to get caught spying or, even worse, looking a little jealous— but you noticed that every time you looked over at them, Neil was talking. That was his problem, see: he never fucking shuts up. Guys, girls, anybody who will listen— if you admit to not knowing about his favorite fifty-year-old spaghetti western or the most recent pre-Code horror comedy he watched, he’ll gladly blab to you about it for ages. The first time you glanced at them, you saw her giving him doe eyes, laughing at something he said— and the last time, those eyes had glazed over and her laugh seemed more nervous and confused; you smirked to yourself. He’s still Neil…

“So, um,” you struck up a conversation with Lucien, “what about you? Anybody here catching your eye?”

“That’s actually the perfect descriptor of my type,” he replied. “Anybody.”

You snorted. “Then you should go, you know, talk to anybody?”

He shrugged and frowned a bit, and it was a simple movement but you understood completely.

The band started to play a new song, something upbeat and energetic, and you smiled. “Wanna dance with me?”

“Oh, I don’t think I’m drunk enough for that—” Lucien began to protest, but a minute later you were dragging him up by the stage. Neither of you were actually any good at dancing, mainly you were just kind of jumping and flailing around together, but it was fun and that was the point.

Eventually, more of your friends wandered in to join you; when the song ended, everyone clapped and cheered, the band bowing in gratitude. You only stole one more look over at Neil and his conversation partner, watching her interrupt his rant with a hand on his shoulder: your throat felt a little dry. You just hoped what she was saying was more like hey, my friends are leaving, I’ve gotta go and not hey, wanna come over to my place so you can keep explaining German expressionism to me?

Your heart dropped when he reached for her— what if he kissed her now? What if he wrapped her up under his arm and they walked out together? What if you had to spend the whole night thinking about him having sex with her?

“Hey, we should ask them if they know any Strokes songs!” Lucien suggested, tugging on your arm to get your attention, but your mind was elsewhere.

“Uh huh, yeah,” you mumbled blankly, and he frowned at you.

“What’s going on?” he asked, trying to look for what you were seeing; but Neil wasn’t reaching for her, he was lifting his hand to wave goodbye as she left. You beamed, even though you did feel a little bad when you saw Neil’s shoulders sink— it’s not that you wanted him to be alone forever, you were just relieved that you might have a few more moments to breathe before he got with somebody again.

“Nothing, sorry,” you answered Lucien, giving him your attention again. “What’d you say?”

“We should ask the band if they—”

And immediately, Lucien lost your focus as you couldn’t stop yourself from looking at Neil again— he was already looking at you, seeing you all on the dancefloor. You waved for him to join you, and he smiled as he made his way towards the stage. A new song began, even louder than the last, and you could blame that for not hearing Lucien’s question for the second time in a row.

Although he danced with you all for a few moments, Neil draped his arms over your and Lucien’s shoulders, nearly yelling to be heard over the music.

“You guys are coming over tonight for a movie, right?” he presumed. “Jonathan’s working ‘til late so he’s out, but—”

“Sorry, I’ve gotta be up early,” Lucien explained, “my brother and his wife are visiting, remember? We’re getting brunch and—”

“Whatever, party pooper,” Neil frowned, before suddenly smiling at you. “Guess it’s just me and you, huh, kid?”

You tried not to sigh too noticeably through your smile. “Yeah, me and you…” you agreed.

As you groggily blinked your eyes open, you found Neil staring at you, his face uncomfortably close to yours, with a big smile. “Mornin’, kid,” he said, raising his eyebrows.

You yelped and nearly jumped out of your skin while he laughed. “Jesus Christ, Neil!” you shouted, kicking off the blanket on you— and then you began to process where you were and why. “God,” you groaned as you held your head in your hands, while Neil kept laughing at you, “did I fall asleep on the couch again?”

It was sort of a rhetorical question— obviously you had, it would be much stranger if you woke up on the video store couch without having fallen asleep there. “Yeah,” he said, standing up and sighing a bit, “but you didn’t miss that much of the movie.”

“What happened at the end?” you asked, stretching your legs and snatching the blanket off the floor to fold up; Neil must have put it on you after you dozed off.

“No, we can finish it later,” he decided, walking up to the register, and you groaned.

“Seriously? Not even falling asleep gets me out of finishing The Man Who Laughs?”

He smiled a little as he started prepping the store for open. “Nope,” he said proudly, popping his lips on the p sound.

“It’s not that I didn’t like it,” you assured, getting up and trying to ignore the soreness in your back from sleeping on a ratty old sofa all night— you remembered helping Neil carry this thing from where he found it on the side of the road. Considering you knew where it came from, it was a wonder you ever sat on it, let alone slept on it… but this happened relatively often. Sometimes it almost felt like you slept easier here or at Neil’s apartment than your own.

You stood up and stretched your arms, sparing a glance over at him.

“Can I run home and change?” you asked, and he frowned.

“We open in ten minutes,” he noticed, “you won’t be back in time.”

“Yes, and who will serve the clamoring crowds that await our open outside?” you rolled your eyes, gesturing out the storefront to the abandoned sidewalk. “You can handle it on your own.”

“Just go to my place,” he shrugged, “it’s closer. And I think you left some jeans there anyway.”

Right— you’d borrowed a pair of his sweats to get comfy for a movie night, and forgot to take the jeans back when you left. You yourself had one of Neil’s short-sleeve button-ups at your place, when you’d both changed there for a costume party, but you let him believe it was just lost… it was too late to tell him now that you had it, ‘cause then he might ask why you kept it so long and then he might, somehow, deduce that you had been cuddling it at night from time to time…

“Right, okay,” you nodded, “but I still need a shirt.”

“Just borrow one of mine,” he said, like it was no big deal at all and didn’t make your heart skip.

For a second you wondered if you should protest— if he was still dating Denise, you probably would’ve said something. But you decided not to say anything, in case he changed his mind; you nearly bolted out of the store and down the two blocks to his apartment.

Your jeans were on the dresser, draped haphazardly in their same just-peeled-off shape you must have left them in last week. You grumbled to yourself a little about how he could’ve folded them for you so they wouldn’t be wrinkled… but then again, all his jeans were wrinkled, so he clearly didn’t know any better.

And now the fun part: picking a shirt. You smiled to yourself as you opened the drawer, perusing through t-shirts with old movie posters and semi-witty slogans… cute, sure, but those were pretty similar to what you already wore.

But the button-downs? Those were quintessential Neil, and you'd be wasting an opportunity if you didn't put one of those on.

You felt a little giddy as you opened the next drawer down and found them all folded. The first one you saw had light blue and white stripes, so you snatched it up and slipped it on.

The fit was definitely off, but you let yourself indulge in a fantasy for a moment: waking up here, in Neil's bed… in Neil's arms. You'd slip on his shirt while you went to find some breakfast, and he'd hum something about how pretty you look in his clothes, and you'd end up tangled in the sheets again not too much later.

Sighing to yourself, you buttoned the last button, leaving the two at the top undone so you didn't look too formal, and headed back to the store for opening.

Neil stared at you for a second when you walked in— at the shirt, specifically. You waited for him to say something, but he didn't. "What, should I not wear this one?" you asked, looking down at it as well, and he shook his head.

"No, no, it's fine— sorry," he mumbled, "just start sorting out last night's returns, please."

You definitely got a much stronger reaction from Jonathan, as soon as he walked in the door.

(Why was he here when he wasn't even working today? Who knows— he was just always here somehow.)

“Hey! You look even more like a lesbian than usual,” Jonathan greeted with a peppy fake-smile as he approached you, and you smirked a bit.

“Don’t blame me, it’s his shirt,” you nodded towards Neil.

“See, I told you you dress like a— wait,” Jonathan stopped mid-insult, looking back at you, then at Neil again, then at you; he pointed his fingers at each of you, crossing them back and forth. “Did… you two…?”

You narrowed your eyes, waiting for him to explain what he meant.

“Did you guys hook up?!” Jonathan accused, wide-eyed.

You felt your face getting warm, and you stammered out your denial; Neil started waving his hands in disagreement as well, but Jonathan was already on a roll.

“Oh my god!” he yelped. “The one time I miss movie night here and it gets freaky! Should’ve known better than to leave you two lovebirds alone—”

“Jonathan, we didn’t—” you choked.

“It’s not— it wasn’t—” Neil butted in. “She just borrowed my shirt! ‘Cause she— because—”

“I mean, we’ve kinda all been waiting for this to happen— but I never really thought it would,” Jonathan steamrolled along. “Well, yeah, I guess I thought it would, I just—”

“Wait wait wait, what?” Neil shook his head, stepping up closer to the two of you. “What does that mean?”

Finally, he seemed to get Jonathan’s attention, who began to nervously backtrack as both of you stared at him. “W-well, I just mean—” he started.

“And who’s ‘we all’?” Neil noticed. “This isn’t just you, thinking this?”

“I… I mean,” Jonathan scoffed, “you know— just, just some people… we thought that maybe… that since you two are so close, that you might—”

“Wow,” Neil chuckled, crossing his arms in disappointment. “You know, that’s so reductive. For a bunch of progressive, free-thinking hipsters—” he waved his hands as he said it in a mocking way— “you’re really just, like… like… you know, not! ‘Cause apparently men and women can’t really be friends?”

“No, come on, not like that,” Jonathan denied, “of course we can—”

“I mean, you’re her friend, you’re both single,” Neil noticed, gesturing between the two of you, “why don’t you two, just, you know… hook up!”

You cringed a little as Jonathan tugged at his collar nervously. “Well, I—”

“Come on, why not?” Neil went on, smiling at the suggestion even though he was clearly unamused. “I mean, she’s nice, she’s pretty, she’s got a vagina— why don’t you hit on her?”

“Hey, come on, Neil,” Jonathan sighed, “I’m well aware she’s got a vagina—”

“So what’s the problem?” Neil insisted. “Clearly you can’t just be friends with someone with a vagina—”

“I would really prefer if we didn’t talk about my vagina anymore,” you mumbled nervously.

“— how come you never hit on her, Jonny?” Neil pressed, backing him into a corner metaphorically— but also somewhat literally, he was leaning in and Jonathan was pressing his back more and more against the shelves.

“You really want me to answer that?” Jonathan replied, almost threatening. That made you furrow your brow a bit. It seemed like a rhetorical question, Neil trying to prove a point, but you didn’t expect Jonathan to have a literal answer.

“Yeah, sure,” Neil decided, “enlighten us.”

Neil glanced at you, like you were just as gung-ho about this interrogation, but you were feeling a little sick. You understood the spirit of Neil’s argument— and technically, you agreed with him— but it still stung to see him so incensed at the suggestion of you two together. You were trying not to take it personally, it wasn’t like he was disgusted by you or anything… he even said just now that you were pretty, and he’d told you that before, but… it still bothered you a little, for reasons you couldn’t quite describe and that you were sure were illogical.

“I never hit on her,” Jonathan answered, lowering his voice, “because I… I figured it would piss you off.”

That seemed to surprise you both, maybe for different reasons; you bit your lip to suppress a smile. Did Jonathan really think Neil was that protective over you? “Why would it piss me off?” Neil wondered, but he sounded a little defensive— defensive in a caught-red-handed sort of way.

“I… I don’t know,” Jonathan shrugged. “That’s just the vibe I got, okay? That she’s sorta… off-limits.”

Neil hesitated. “Well… she’s not,” he decided. “You’re grown-ups. Whatever you wanna do is none of my business— as long as you’re not being, you know, creepy or an asshole.”

“Of course,” Jonathan agreed, most of the tension settling as Neil backed up a step.

“Okay, well, ask her out then,” Neil instructed firmly.

“I didn’t say I wanted to!” Jonathan sputtered.

“Neil, Jesus!” you complained simultaneously, and he seemed to relent, shrugging as he walked back to the register.

“Sorry, sorry,” he dismissed, “just letting you know it’s… fine with me!”

You rolled your eyes a bit and looked back at Jonathan. “Sorry,” you offered him quietly, “he’s… I don’t know. He gets weird about that.”

“Oh really?” Jonathan scoffed sarcastically. “Didn’t notice.”

“The real reason you shouldn’t be hitting on me is because we’re coworkers, by the way,” you reminded him.

“Hey, I only work here part-time,” Jonathan noticed, “so I think that means it’s cool as long as we only go out part-time.”

You snorted, but he seemed to get nervous.

“You know I’m kidding, right?” he added quickly, and you nodded with a laugh.

"You know, I was thinking— we don't have many events at the store these days,” Neil mumbled around a bite of pretzel, watching you play your turn at Skee Ball. Normally he would put coins in the machine beside yours and try to beat your score, but the other machine was out of order and you decided to take a relay race approach. “What if we did, like, I don’t know… maybe a double feature for a couple bucks?”

“Neil, we show movies every night,” you sighed, “and we invite everybody, and ninety-nine percent of the time it’s just some combination of me, you, Jonathan, and Lucien.”

“Yeah, but this time we could do movies that more people like— a little easier to watch,” he suggested, “something that would get new people in the store.”

“New people don’t wanna sit on a musty old couch with strangers,” you reminded him, and he nodded as he chewed and swallowed his next bite.

“You’re right,” he agreed, holding the pretzel out towards you. “Wanna bite?”

You were trying to get through your skee balls pretty quick, so you just leaned your head over and chomped down on the end of one of the twists while he held it for you. You hummed in appreciation— it was pretty good, fresher than the last one you guys got here.

Visits to the arcade used to be your thing, back in high school (aside from watching movies, but that was a given). Then you slowed down with the trips, feeling a little old and out of place surrounded by kids— but the problem was, this place wasn’t filled with kids anymore. It hadn’t changed much at all since you were both in high school, and that was exactly the issue: it was old, run-down, a bit grimey… kids weren’t coming to arcades anymore anyways, they were all on the Internet apparently. So, while you and Neil sort of appreciated having the place to yourself, it also broke your heart knowing your old haunt couldn’t hold itself together forever… you two visited not just to recapture some old childhood joys, but to try to do your part to keep the business afloat.

You pretended to like being here— because you really did want to support the place, and Neil wanted to keep coming back— but it actually made you pretty fucking sad. Surrounded by all the neon, the noisy pinball machines, the Dig Dug machine that had a fifty-fifty chance of stealing your quarters, the photobooth (you still had some strips from that thing pinned to your wall, some so old that they’d faded from the sunlight that came in your window each day); it all felt sort of eerie now. You would’ve never known all those years ago how little this place would change, even though you never expected it to— you would’ve never known how little anything would change. Neil was still by your side, but still so far away… if you could talk to that fourteen-year-old girl now, you would warn her that no amount of time spent running around this place and playing Street Fighter was going to make Neil love her, or you.

But here you were anyways. “Woo!” you cheered when your final score came through: 50,765. “Beat that!”

Neil set the pretzel down on the bar-height table (on a pile of napkins, don’t worry, neither of you trusted those tables that much) and brushed the salt off his hands with a scoff. “Oh please, I can beat that with my eyes closed,” he assured as you crossed your arms.

As he put his quarters in and stepped up to the game, you smiled wide. “Alright, if you say so.”

You came up behind him and covered his eyes with your hands, making him jump and then laugh. “What are you doing?”

“Just keeping you honest,” you giggled, holding on tight even when he tried to move his head around so that he could see.

He did his best, usually struggling to even find where the balls were coming down more than rolling them decently— but after the first three went in the gutter without even scoring, you knew he didn’t stand a chance. He did score a few times, but when the buzzer went off and he lifted your hands from his eyes, he laughed at the pitiful 1,150 on the board.

“Ohh, that’s too bad,” you winced, “guess you’re just full of it.”

Still holding your hands away from his face, he spun around and twirled under your arms like you were dancing for a moment; it ended with him face-to-face with you, swinging your hands back and forth a bit to force you to twist with him slightly. “Wanna play Street Fighter next?” he suggested quickly. “I know I can beat you at that.”

The giddy joy of the moment dropped and shattered; if you thought about it too much, you probably could’ve cried right then. As pathetic, yet oddly aesthetically pleasing, as it would be to cry in an arcade, you swallowed down the emotion and smiled back at him. “Yeah, okay,” you agreed.

You’d been a little antsy all day— Neil seemed to notice, asking a couple times if you were okay, but you just nodded and shrugged it off. He had a sense for when you were lying; but that’s the thing, you weren’t lying, really. You just weren’t sure what to say. You weren’t sure if you should say anything. And yet, you felt a little guilty not telling him everything that was going on with you— not just guilty, but plain weird. Because you usually did tell him everything— except, you know, the thing— but you didn’t know if you should talk about this. Not that you couldn’t— but should you?

So you were sort of gnawing on your lip most of the day, keeping yourself busy with tallying late fees behind the desk, trying to keep conversation light and meaningless: thankfully, in that regard, Jonathan and Lucien made it pretty easy.

“Okay: fuck, marry, kill,” Jonathan began, “Dracula, the Mummy, and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.”

“Dude, I can’t answer that,” Lucien refused.

“Okay, then Neil, what would you do?” Jonathan changed his target.

“Um, well,” Neil pondered, “I think I’d have to kill Dracula— spare the world from that evil, you know— and I guess I’d marry the Mummy—”

“Freud would like to have a word,” Lucien butted in.

“And I’d fuck the Creature from the Black Lagoon,” he concluded, “out of morbid curiosity.”

You snorted, but didn’t look up from your clipboard. “You come up with one that Lucien will do,” Jonathan challenged Neil.

“Alright, uhh, let’s see…” Neil stalled as he thought, looking up at the ceiling and stroking his chin dramatically. “Fuck, marry, kill: Sarah Carter, Ripley, and Trinity from Matrix.”

“Okay, see, that’s a real challenge,” Lucien affirmed. “If I marry Trinity, do I have to live in the post-apocalyptic wasteland or can she live here?”

“You’d have to live in the Matrix,” Jonathan announced, like it was obvious.

“Hm,” Lucien pondered, “do I know it’s a false reality? Does she know?”

“She knows, you don’t,” Neil decided.

“Is she gonna tell me? What if she has another guy on the side in the real world?”

“Okay, you’re overthinking this,” Jonathan groaned.

“And is this the Sarah Carter that’s already had John? ‘Cause if not, I can’t kill her, or the human revolution stands no chance— but if she has him, I can’t marry her, ‘cause I’m not ready to be a stepfather—”

“You’re useless,” Jonathan informed him flatly.

“Well, it’s easy then,” you offered, still tallying fees on the printed table. “You fuck Carter, marry Ripley and kill Trinity.”

“Yeah, I guess that works,” Lucien shrugged.

“If you’re so good at this game, you should play,” Jonathan decided. You looked up from your work for once, finding Lucien looking excited at the idea and Neil looking a little nervous but intrigued.

“I’ve got one for you,” Lucien decided, looking concerningly smug. “Fuck, marry, kill: the three of us.”

Jonathan let out a giddy ‘ooh’ and Neil raised his eyebrows. “Oh— I don’t know— that’s too weird,” you shook your head, “it’s different, you’re real—”

“Wait, wait,” Neil interrupted, “now I wanna know.”

You froze for a second, wondering if you should double down on not participating, or if you should tell him the first thing that popped in your head: am I allowed to do all three to you?

Instead, you set the clipboard down and crossed your legs, and the men seemed to straighten up as they prepared for your answer. “Alright,” you said, looking at them for a lingering moment before sighing. “I think I’d fuck Jonathan, and then kill myself.”

“Yes,” Jonathan hissed, shaking his fist triumphantly.

“Dude, really?” Lucien snapped at him. “That didn’t sound like a compliment to me.”

“Don’t care, I stopped listening after ‘fuck Jonathan’,” he replied. “Alright, Neil, you’re gonna have to make good on that ‘she’s not off-limits’ promise you made to me—”

But Neil wasn’t listening to Jonathan, he was still looking at you. “Wait— you wouldn’t marry me?” Neil interrupted, putting a hand on the desk and leaning in a bit closer— he looked half-amused and half-offended, and your heart skipped a beat.

“Um…” you started to wonder how to defend yourself from that. What did he expect you to say? Yes, I’d marry you, I’ve actually been planning our wedding since junior year.

“Hold on,” Lucien stopped you, “if she fucks you and marries you, that means I’m getting killed!”

“Yeah, so?” Jonathan smirked.

“What, you don’t think I’m marriage material?” Neil laughed… but he didn’t seem like he was really joking, per se. He didn’t seem serious either, of course, but you decided to take his question seriously since he’d dared to ask it twice.

“Well,” you mumbled, “no. I don’t.”

Then he seemed a bit more serious, adjusting his posture a bit. “Why not?”

“I mean… you’re my best friend,” you reminded him, “but… you’re not reliable.”

He nodded, pursing his lips together.

“You’re not ready for marriage,” you continued. “I mean, I think you’re just as sure of that as I am.”

“Well, yeah, but—”

“And honestly? You’re a great friend and all, but… if you were my husband, I don’t think I could really… you know, trust you…”

The silence seemed a little heavy— all the men were sort of frozen for a second, you wondered if you should wave your arm around to make sure time hadn’t stopped. But they did move, Neil first in fact, as he stopped leaning on the counter and nodded a little.

“I’m just surprised that you didn’t fuck Dracula,” Jonathan said to Neil in an attempt to cut the tension, “considering your massive man-crush on Bela Lugosi.”

“Hey, that reminds me, tonight’s movie is Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla,” Neil announced, apparently shaking off whatever odd energy he’d picked up just before, “you in?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jonathan nodded, “should I bring drinks?”

“Uhh, yeah, why not?” Neil agreed.

“Is a six-pack enough?”

"Uh, maybe…” Neil considered, turning over his shoulder to look at you. “Kid, how many beers are you gonna want?”

You swallowed nervously. “Um, I… well, I’m not coming. I’ve got a date, actually.”

Of course it was just assumed that you would be there; you felt a little guilty admitting you wouldn’t, to the point that you almost considered just skipping said date and staying to avoid the awkwardness.

“Hey, great!” Jonathan said proudly, throwing his arms out wide.

“A date, huh?” Neil noticed, looking happily surprised. “Sorry, I— I didn’t know— you didn’t say anything—”

“No, it’s cool,” you shook your head, “it’s kind of a last minute thing… you know how they’re showing Rope at the Palace tonight? I met this, um, this guy the other day and we got to talking, and I asked him if he’d wanna come with me.”

“Rope, wow, that’s a great first date movie,” Neil nodded approvingly, “that sounds perfect.”

“Yeah— he hasn’t seen it, actually,” you admitted, smiling nervously, “so I guess how much he likes it will kinda be a good judge of if he’s worth going out again, right?”

Jonathan nodded approvingly, but Neil seemed skeptical. "Well, the showing isn't until nine— you can at least hang out until the movie starts, right?"

"I've gotta get home and get changed!" you explained

"You can't wear that to a date?" Julien wondered.

"No!" you scoffed, looking down at your ripped jeans and Dracula t-shirt. "Besides, I have this whole plan of what I'm gonna wear— remember when we did Bonnie and Clyde for Halloween?"

Neil was Bonnie and you were Clyde, in fact; he looked shockingly good in that blood-red lipstick, you tried to convince him to wear it again but he insisted it was a one-night-only situation.

"I figure if I wear my Clyde suit, I'll look kinda like James Stewart!"

"You're doing drag on a first date?" Lucien pressed, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, lighten up, I'm just dressing up for the movie— I'll still, you know, try to look pretty," you assured. "What, I don't look good in a suit? 'Cause I got a lot of compliments on Halloween—"

"No, hey, go for it," Jonathan decided, "it's festive!"

"I think it's cool," Neil agreed. "Have fun, alright? And if he creeps you out or something, call the store number and I'll come get you."

"I'm not really worried about—"

"You know? Just call the store when you get home," Neil decided, "so I'll know you didn't get murdered."

"Dude, chill," you groaned. "We're going to the movies, not, I don't know… hiking off-trail in the middle of the night."

You never agreed to call, but you did him one better: you ended up coming back to the video store afterwards, a bit over two hours later. Of course, the guys were still on the couch— apparently the movie was over but they were watching anime (undoubtedly something Jonathan had brought as a palate cleanser after the movie).

They all looked over at you when you came in the front door and the little bell rang; they seemed excited to see you, and presumably to interrogate you about the date. You sighed, knowing you couldn't have expected anything else, but you'd come here hoping they'd let you watch something with them so you could stop thinking about the date.

“How’d it go, hot stuff?” Jonathan purred, and you rolled your eyes as Lucien wolf-whistled.

“Oh yeah, it was awesome, best first date ever— I’m at his place having sex with him right now,” you frowned as you tossed your purse down onto the couch, and Lucien chuckled while Neil looked a little defeated.

“Not that great, huh?” Neil noticed.

“Was he a creep?” Jonathan assumed.

“Did he think the movie was bad?” Lucien pressed.

“No, no, he was great,” you sighed, “he loved the movie. We talked about it for a bit afterwards and he seemed to really understand it.”

“Okay! That’s good, right?” Jonathan said optimistically.

“Yeah— so good that I asked him when we could do this again,” you recalled, “and he said that he didn’t wanna lead me on and he wasn’t interested in seeing me.”

“What?!” Jonathan yelped, while Neil winced a little.

“He said I was really cool and funny and easy to talk to,” you explained, “but that he didn’t feel any chemistry.”

“Chemistry?” Lucien repeated, confused.

“He means he’s not attracted to me,” you clarified.

“What?” Jonathan scoffed again. “Why not?”

“I don’t know!” you whined, but you did know. “I think I’m just, like, friend material. I’m just ‘one of the guys’, you know? Not somebody you actually wanna be with.”

“But isn’t that what every guy wants? To date somebody who’s just ‘one of the guys’?” Lucien noticed, and then paused when everyone gave him an inquisitive look. “That sounded way less gay in my head. You get what I mean, right?”

“As much as I would love to never let you live that down,” Jonathan smirked, “you’re not wrong— like, a chick who can hang. That’s the best.”

“Well, here I am! Hanging!” you snapped. “Where’s my harem of suitors just desperate to date one of the guys?!”

“I mean, you are wearing a suit…” Neil noticed, getting a little defensive when you groaned and dropped your head back. “No, no, you look cool! I mean, you look really great. I’m not sure what he wasn’t seeing.”

"Maybe he's got a girlfriend!" Jonathan suggested. "And he was gonna cheat but he chickened out."

"Maybe he's intimidated by strong women," Lucien added, sounding more like he was quoting a Cosmo than actually thinking that.

"Respectfully, guys aren't that complicated," you assured. "If he wanted me, he would. He doesn't. It's not that deep."

Neil looked away when you said that.

"Well, come take a seat on the losers couch," Jonathan offered, but Neil sitting next to him frowned.

"You think I'm a loser?" Neil protested.

"No, I was talking about that couch," Jonathan said as he pointed to the other one which Lucien was on.

"I'm not even offended," Lucien decided, patting the spot next to him. "I'd rather be a loser with you than a winner with anybody else."

You smiled and plopped down next to him, pulling your legs up on the old sofa and finding the best angle to see the TV from. "Okay, catch me up," you requested, bracing for the barrage of borderline nonsensical exposition about whatever obscure anime Jonathan was forcing on the group this time.

Since the store closed at eight on Tuesdays, you and Neil decided to go out for a late dinner after locking up— the nearest place you usually walked to was a little hole-in-the-wall dishing out Thai fusion, and even though there were open tables inside, you took your paper boxes outside to eat together on a bench.

You each sat up on it with your legs crossed, facing each other, while he poked at his fried rice with his fork and you stirred your noodles with the chopsticks.

“The Palace is still doing their Hitchcock screenings on Sundays,” you recalled, “I think the next one is Rear Window. We could make Lucien man the store and go see it together?”

“Yeah, let’s do it,” he smiled. “But we gotta sneak in the candy, that place is getting so overpriced…”

“Well, that’s a given,” you laughed. “When I went on my date there I had Sour Patch Kids in my bag, but I was kinda craving Reese’s by the time the movie started.

"That guy sounded like an ass, by the way," Neil announced with a frown.

"Oh, no, it's fine," you dismissed. "He was really nice, even when he blew me off, and I… I guess I wasn’t really expecting it to go anywhere, anyways.”

“Really?” Neil scoffed. “Then why’d you ask him out?”

Just in case. “I… I guess I’m trying to put myself out there more?”

“Huh? You’re trying to put out more?” Neil joked.

You rolled your eyes and unfolded your legs to kick him playfully. “You know what I mean,” you groaned.

“Yeah, yeah,” he admitted, “and I support it. It’s sort of insane that you’re still single.”

“Wow, thanks for the pep talk,” you rolled your eyes before shoving a thick swirl of spicy-sweet noodles in your mouth.

“No! I mean, like, I can’t believe you’re single,” he clarified, and you smiled somewhat awkwardly while chewing your mouthful. “You’re smart and fun and cool and pretty—”

Thanks to the food in your mouth, you didn’t have to worry about coming up with a way to respond to that, so you just shrugged.

“Seriously!” he insisted. “I mean, guys hit on you at the store— I wish somebody who actually deserved your attention would walk in that place.”

The guy I want is already there every day. Swallowing, you finally got a chance to talk to him again. “Thanks,” you sighed, “it’s fine, though. I mean, I’ve been single this long— I think I’ll survive.”

“Keep waiting for the right one, okay?” he encouraged, and your heart swelled.

“I will,” you promised, sounding more wistful than you meant to.

After a brief lull in the conversation, he cleared his throat and continued. “Hey, um, while we’re on the topic of Sunday, about the whole fuck-marry-kill thing—”

“I’m sorry,” you offered right away, “I shouldn’t have answered that. I wasn’t being serious, obviously.”

“No, I wanted to apologize,” he returned, “I shouldn’t have pressed you on your answer. It was funny. And it wasn’t like you could say you were gonna kill one of us.”

You snorted. “Yeah, that one was probably the worst of the three.”

“But I shouldn’t have asked you about what you would’ve done to me,” he shook his head, “I was making it weird. So, sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you assured. “Did you really expect me to say I would marry you?”

“No,” he admitted, “I thought you’d say you’d fuck me, marry Lucien and kill Jonathan.”

“What?” you scoffed, though you were still smiling. “Why?”

“Well, Lucien would definitely make the best husband of the three of us,” he explained, “and Jonathan was the only one who wouldn’t have gotten butthurt about you saying you’d kill him. He probably would’ve just asked you to give him a nice send-off, y’know…”

You nodded in agreement, wondering if he was going to address the obviously missing third piece of all this… he sure was staring down into his empty fried rice container with intense focus…

“And, you know, as for me,” he began sort of thinly, “I, um… I guess I just figured, you know, you’re the most comfortable with me.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, “obviously, but maybe that would make it worse? Like, at least with Jonathan, I know that if we ever did hook up or something, it probably wouldn’t mess up our friendship. ‘Cause we’re friendly and all, but it’s not so serious. But with you…”

“Uh huh, well, that’s why it’s good it’s just a game,” Neil finished for you, chucking his trash in the nearest can. “Don’t have to worry about any of that stuff. Least of all you and I being married. Talk about a disaster.”

You choked on your throat. “Yeah. No kidding…”

“Well, anyways,” he sighed, standing up from the bench and stretching for a moment, “wanna come over and see if the game’s still on?”

“Oh, um, I’m just gonna go back to my place,” you decided, throwing away the last couple bites of your food on account of your suddenly-lost appetite. “Kinda thinking I should get my sleep schedule in order.”

“That’s good,” he nodded, “I respect that. Have a good night, then, kid.”

“Yeah, you too,” you breathed, waving as he turned and walked off into the night, tucking his hands into his jean pockets.

You looked down at your lap, taking a deep breath and shutting your eyes for a second. Did he have to be so sweet just to cut you down like that? Could he have even known how it would hurt you to say that?

It’s not even like he was wrong, but you were dying to ask him why he was so sure that you and him together would be so bad. What was wrong with you that he still couldn’t see you that way?

Not interested in this repetitive thought cycle anymore, and being very familiar with where it leads, you got up and started to walk down the street. You didn’t turn to go to your apartment, though; you kept going until you heard live music— scratchy, whiny guitars and throbbing bass drums— seeping out of the club. You just needed to be somewhere familiar that wasn’t the video store or home; and, this place conveniently also had liquor.

You slipped inside— hit by a wave of sound as you entered— and took a seat at the bar, half-listening to the band that was playing, pretending to be focused at all on what was going on in the outside world rather than just spiraling into your own thoughts inside your head.

“Hey,” Jonathan nodded at you from the other side of the bar, and you nodded back. He instantly started looking for Neil— of course he would— and you deflated a bit. “You here alone?” he noticed.

“Yeah,” you shrugged.

“Wow,” he smirked, “it’s like when Peter Pan’s shadow escaped.”

You should’ve probably been offended by that, but it wasn’t worth denying— and you were more interested in getting liquored up than justifying that you did, in fact, have a life outside of Neil.

And, actually, Peter Pan was a pretty good way to describe Neil, too. Fear of commitment, leader of freaks and outcasts, daydreamer… all he needed was some green tights. “What are you drinking tonight?” Jonathan finally asked.

“What pairs well with feeling completely unattractive and unlovable?” you sighed.

“Well, that would be my drink of choice: whiskey,” he smiled, setting a bottle down in front of you. “I’ll do a shot with you.”

He poured you both a shot, and you timed it to shoot it back together; he, obviously, took it better with you, and you cringed from the acidic flavor. "Jesus, people really drink this on purpose?" you grumbled.

"Yeah, give it a few minutes," he assured, "it's gonna numb all those stupid emotions."

"I don't have a few minutes," you sighed, "do you have anything more fast-acting?"

"Yeah— a second shot," he joked, but you nodded in agreement. "Okay, shit, you're not messing around tonight."

"Nope," you agreed, watching him pour just one shot this time. "You're not doing it with me?"

"I need to pace myself, I'm here 'til two," he explained.

He slid it to you and you contemplated it for a moment, before forcing yourself to get it down as quickly as possible to avoid the burn. You still grimaced, but recovered quickly.

"Is it working yet?" he wondered.

"I guess," you answered half-heartedly.

“Well, you could always gush to the bartender about all your problems?” he offered, but you just shrugged it off. “Come on, you wouldn’t be the first tonight. And since I know you, I might actually be able to help.”

“I don’t think you can help with this one,” you assured. “This problem has been going on longer than you’ve ever been around.”

“Oh?” he pressed. “Let me guess… boy troubles?”

“Isn’t it always?” you scoffed, irritated that he saw through you that quickly— apparently your reputation of being horrible with men preceded you.

“But this is just one boy,” he presumed. “One boy who… conspicuously isn’t here tonight…”

“Is it that obvious?” you wondered with a whine, dropping your head in your hand.

“Well, if you weren’t having any issues with him, you’d be with him,” Jonathan guessed— and it wasn’t bad logic.

“But, like, does everyone know?” you wondered. “Does everyone but him know that I’m in love with him? Oh god, Jonathan, you don’t think he knows, do you?”

“Wait— love?” he repeated, and you swallowed thickly as you realized the whiskey had already gotten you to say too much. “You… you’re…”

“Okay, so I guess not everyone knows,” you mumbled.

“No, yeah, I think you managed to keep that under wraps,” he assured with a nod, eyes getting wider. “Sheesh. No, I had no clue. Now it’s even weirder that you guys aren’t together.”

“Well, he doesn’t love me,” you explained flatly.

“Did he tell you that?”

“No, god no— I mean, he tells me he loves me,” you corrected, “but he doesn’t mean— we just say that, you know, like at the end of phone calls or when one of us is sad. It’s not, like… we never meant it that way.”

“Right, okay,” Jonathan nodded as he wiped a glass— the way bartenders do when they’re listening to people— but he didn’t seem to understand entirely. “So, you’re not his type?”

“I don’t think I know what his type is,” you scoffed. “I haven’t really noticed a pattern, have you?”

“You’d have to have a few more data points to really draw any connection between them,” Jonathan laughed.

“Yeah, fair,” you smiled, “he’s only had… I don’t know, maybe four girlfriends since I’ve known him? One in high school, for a month— then Eva, they weren’t even really serious, just dating for a while. And then, uh—”

“Tanisha,” he remembered.

“Right! I liked her,” you hummed.

“What happened to her again?” he wondered.

“Got back with her ex,” you recalled.

“Wow, that blows,” Jonathan sighed.

“She told me before she told him,” you admitted. “She wanted me to tell him for her, actually, but I… I couldn’t do that to him. But I came over right after, you know, and we ate ice cream from the tub and watched movies ‘til we fell asleep.”

Jonathan made a sort of face, one you couldn’t quite interpret, and you tilted your head as he seemed to mumble to himself.

“What?” you wondered.

“Nothing, it’s just… he’s kind of an idiot,” Jonathan decided. “I don’t think he gets how lucky he is.”

You wrinkled your brows together, laughing a bit. “What do you mean?”

“Look, I’m not saying he’s, like, legally obligated to fall in love with you just because you guys get along so well,” he clarified, “even if that’s what Neil accused me of thinking— I really do think it’s fine for men and women to just be friends.”

“So, what are you saying?”

“I’m just saying… like, how do you have someone who cares about you that much, and you end up dating fucking Denise for almost a year?!”

“Well, nobody knows how he ended up with Denise,” you coughed. “That was a fucking disaster.”

“I mean, not to be crass, but, uh,” he stumbled a little over his words, “I’m surprised that you coming over after that breakup didn’t turn into a rebound, at least.”

“After eating that much ice cream?” you laughed. “That would’ve been awful.”

“But really, though,” he insisted. “I have a hard time believing the thought didn’t even cross his mind…”

“I can’t really be sure that it didn’t,” you admitted, “I’m just saying, nothing happened.”

“I guess he’s just known you too long to go for it with you,” Jonathan shrugged.

“It’s not just that— you know Neil, he’s kind of an adrenaline junkie,” you rolled your eyes, “or at least he thinks he is. He wants adventure, I guess— and he always talks about us doing spontaneous stuff but it never happens— and I’m just too familiar. Too comfortable.”

“Yeah, he does kinda have something against stability,” Jonathan agreed, “do you think it’s a divorced parents thing?”

“I don’t know, I stopped analyzing that a long time ago,” you groaned, “and I told myself I would stop trying to be what I thought he wanted, but I think I keep doing it.”

“Well, I know you know him better than anybody,” Jonathan countered, “but I know guys, and that guy… there’s no way he thinks of you as just a friend.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because he was fucking lying when he said it wouldn’t piss him off if we hooked up,” he insisted.

“You really won’t let that go, will you?” you grinned.

“Did you see his face? He couldn’t get the image out of his head!” Jonathan assured confidently. “And then that whole ‘fuck marry kill’ thing— he started getting nervous, I think.”

“Nervous about what?”

“That something could really happen with us!”

“You really think he would care?” you frowned.

“I swear to— to Ash Williams,” he decided, “that if I walked into that fucking video store, and told him that you and I did whiskey shots and you came back to my place and we did the horizontal tango, he would beat me to death with the register.”

“You swear on Ash Williams?” you repeated with a smirk, knowing that meant more than swearing on any deity would mean.

“Him and his chainsaw hand,” Jonathan assured, putting a hand over his heart to add to the bit, and you giggled.

“Well, I don’t think Neil can pick up the register,” you decided.

“In that case, you let me know the next time you wanna get back at him for something,” he offered with a wink, and you smiled at him sympathetically.

“I know you’re trying to be nice,” you sighed, “but you don’t have to do that.”

“Hey, come on,” he frowned, “I know you’ve got this I’m insecure I’m a weirdo nobody notices me thing, but you can’t actually think it would be some kind of charity work for me to sleep with you—”

“No, I don’t mean that,” you sighed, “I know I could get laid if I wanted to—”

“But you don’t wanna get laid,” he finished for you, “you wanna be loved.”

You sighed again, even harder. “Yeah,” you nodded.

“I know,” he agreed. “And you know I love you, but—”

“But not like that,” you took your turn finishing his sentence.

His only reply was raising the bottle of whiskey with a sideways smile, a silent offer to pour another shot— for both of you this time.

“Yes, please,” you hummed, watching him fill the miniature glasses with a sigh.

part 2

#neil lewis x reader #neil lewis smut #watching the detectives #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy smut #you know... eventually #but you have to get to part two for that lol

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d4yd4iry · 13 days

Text

You

-pt.2 of Crush

Parings: Pham Hanni x fem!reader

Synopsis: you like her, just her…

Genre: Idol au, fluff

“Okay, so unnie listen carefully okay?” Hanni grinned as she nodded at your serious face. Gosh if she weren’t on face time she would be rolling off her bed. You were so cute.

“You know how my schedule has been really packed so I don’t really have time to hangout at the company and like socialize with other idols right?” You waited until Hanni nodded before continuing. “Yeah so, I decided to chill there for a while with my members because we had a free schedule the whole morning…” you continued to rambled but Hanni wasn’t listening, she was only looking at you.

Looking at how your eyes furrowed when you acted confused, or how you slightly pouted when you noticed she wasn’t listening. “Unnie, are you even listening?” Hanni shook her head. “I’m listening, go on.” You raised your eyebrows at her, totally not convinced but chose to continue anyways.

“Okay, so you know that time when I accidentally said that I had a few crushes on a few idols on live right?” Hanni suddenly felt like not listening anymore. She remembered that era of time when you would come to their dorm just to gush to her about your crushes. Let’s say Hanni wasn’t very happy about that.

“They approached me…” You paused to look if she was paying attention, she was.

“And suddenly said that they liked me at the same tim-“ You didn’t get to finish as Hanni interrupted, furrowing her eyebrows she tilted her head. “Like? As in Like-Like?” The bitter taste of jealousy hits her tongue after you nodded.

“And? What did you say?” Hanni felt stiff throughout her whole body, she did not like it one bit but she needed to know more.

“Well…nothing I just stared at them and then my manager came in and saved the day. It’s the reason why I called you, I want advice!” You twirled your hair, giggling like a school girl in love.

“Advice for what?” Hanni asked as her lips grew a pout. Why’d you have to tell her that.

“For what I should do?” You asked, frowning a bit when you noticed that she looked like a child whose lollipop was snatched away.

“I don’t know…” Hanni’s voice trailed off as she glanced away from your pretty face to her freshly painted nails. “Do you like them like that? Any of them?”

“I’m not sure of my feelings…I guess it felt good when they told me they like me? Yeah, I just felt nice…whatever, I like someone else now but it’s not like I’m allowed to even if I wanted to” You shrugged carelessly, leaning back onto your pillow.

But Hanni wasn’t able to care less at all, she cared a lot. If you stopped liking them then who do you like now? Was it one of your members? Or that actress whom you’ve been hanging out with way too much lately. Hanni immediately felt even more bitter after thinking about that actress.

Okay, who ever it is, Hanni Pham desperately needed to know. “Who do you like?!” looking at you with desperate eyes.

“You.”

Hanni jaw dropped as she blinked rapidly, unsure that what she heard was what it was. Even you were surprised by your own words but before any of you could utter a word, you could see from Hanni’s phone that your sister had just entered her room.

As they always say, life is full of interruptions.

“What are you doing?” Minji’s head appeared behind her door. “On video call with my baby sis again?”

Minji raised her brows when no one replied, she then swung the door fully open and walked inside of Hanni’s room, staring at her friend who was frozen in time. “Bro, we need to get to the company now.” then she faced your face through the iPhone screen, you too were quite.

Minji flickered her eyes between the two who were both still and faces were redder than the tomatoes Danielle ate daily. “These two…”Minji shook her head before picking up Hanni’s phone from the desk and bid goodbye to you before leaving the call.

“Han, get it together before I release those love songs you wrote to my baby sis.” Seeing as Hanni won’t respond Minji sighed before punching her arm and then left, leaving Hanni alone.

“She likes me…” Hanni said in a low voice as she held her burning cheeks with both hands. “Yn likes me.” her cheeks hurts from smiling to hard.

#newjeans imagines #newjeans scenarios #newjeans x reader #idol x reader #kpop gg x reader #pham hanni x reader #hanni x reader

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lovebugism · 1 year

Note

Having a unserious argument with band AU!Eddie and there’s a moment where you both stare at each other and then his eyes flick down to ur lips. Which leads to you making out and forgetting about what the argument was about in the first place

bug's blurb sleepover (⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎)!

You knew the argument was stupid, but you also knew you were too mad to care.

Like, otherworldly levels of mad. Levels that feel nearly unprecedented, even though you’re well aware it’s over something so damn mundane.

Night of the Living Dead was playing at a drive-in in the same city the Corroded Coffin tour bus had parked in for the next few days. And Eddie wanted to take you. He said he’s wanted to take you out for weeks now, but your schedules just hadn’t allowed him the time to do so.

His van hasn’t gotten much use in quite some time either. It’s just been dragging behind the tour bus and rusting more every time it rains. You, Gareth, and Jeff all told him that he wouldn’t have much time to drive it anywhere, but Eddie only said that “it broke his heart too bad to leave her behind.”

Now, he’s glad that he didn’t. It’ll be good to take you for a drive in it, to roll the windows down and turn the radio all the way up, to watch you in between watching the road and pretend like you’re teenagers again.

And it was really cute, how excited he’d been to take you to see a film you’d both seen a thousand times over. “Taking you to a drive-in actually sounds super fun, babe, and I don’t even mean that in a pervy way. I just wanna spend time alone with you,” he’d told you before smirking. “Even though I won’t be opposed to a little heavy petting.”

It was real adorable. Until you started to get all philosophical about zombies, that is.

Eddie tried to tell you that zombies were still human after they turned. You scoffed when you disagreed, telling him that if that were the case, you wouldn’t have to use the word turned to describe them — that you wouldn’t even need the word zombies at all.

He refused to listen to you, though, and kept on saying that they were “basically still humans but insane.”

And if you’d told yourself an hour or more ago that the two of you would be in a screaming match over this exact thing, you would’ve laughed. But now that it’s your reality, you’re absolutely fuming about it.

“They aren’t human anymore, Eds!” you argue in the confines of the bunk room, shielded only by the sliding door that does little to stifle your argument. You flail your hands around like crazy, eyes wide and glinting with annoyance. “It’s like a parasitic relationship! The zombie is just inhabiting the body of the dead human. Like a— I don’t know— like a fucking hermit crab or something.”

“They turn to zombies because they’re infected, right? Do you stop being a human because you get a little virus?” he retorts with a teasing lilt that only angers you more. “No! You don’t! It’s the same thing!”

“It’s not the same thing!”

“Well, you obviously don’t know what you’re talking about it!”

“I know what I’m talking about, asshole! I’m just not gonna listen to a guy who failed senior year three times!” you shout back, obviously angry and irrational with it.

You would’ve apologized for trying to hit him where it hurts if you saw that it had upset him in some way. But it doesn’t. Instead, he just keeps on teasing you.

“Ooh, you wanna kiss me so fucking bad,” he sing-songs to you, at you, with furrowed brows and lips set in a slight pout like a child.

That does little to quell your rage. Quite the opposite, really. He keeps dousing the fire in your chest with gasoline. You can feel the flames starting to prickle at your burning skin. But you make the mistake of flitting your gaze down to his mouth, only for half of a moment, but long enough for him to catch it. He grins, feeling like he’s won in some way.

“That’s okay, baby. You didn’t have to get all angry about it. If you wanted to kiss me, you coulda just said—”

“I hate you so fucking much,” you grumble to yourself, crossing your arms as you start to storm out of the room.

Eddie doesn’t let you get very far, though. His long legs rush the short distance over to you. He wraps two lanky arms around your frame and cages your own within his too tight embrace. You feel his chest rumble with the loud laugh that spills from his mouth, the breath of it on your skin when he noses at the junction between neck and shoulder.

“This is really fucking dumb,” he says with a hearty chuckle.

“Yeah, you are dumb, you’re right,” you monotone in return, not conceding to this imagined argument but not trying to squirm in his hold either.

“Hey! I’m trying to extend the olive branch here, alright?”

“Whatever…”

He smacks a loud kiss on your shoulder and loosens his grip on you when he’s sure you’re not still angry enough to storm out. You are, though — still angry — but rather than leave, you turn around to face him. Your scowl is met with a beam from the boy ahead of you.

“We’ll just have to agree to disagree, alright, doll?” Eddie tells you with a shrug, trying his best to stop the argument without either of you having to admit you were wrong.

“I don’t know,” you lilt. “I think this might be a deal breaker for me, Eds.”

“Well, we certainly can’t have that…. What’ll happen to the band?” he teases.

You feign a sad sigh. “Guess you’ll have to find another bassist, Eds.”

“What can I do to make it up to you, doll? The fans’ll be real upset if the world’s best bassist is suddenly MIA.”

You purse your lips to the side and flit your eyes to the ceiling, pretending to think about his offer. Your attempt to ignore all the butterflies fluttering in your stomach is futile when he starts to rub his palms up and down your arm, in a soft and soothing rhythm. His touch quells your anger, puts out your fire without really even trying. No one can strike a flame within you, make it burn all big and bright, then douse it with cool, sparkling water quite like Eddie can.

It feels good not to be angry anymore. You’ll be able to laugh about it soon.

Not now, though.

“Well, you’re going to take me to the drive-in tomorrow night and you’re gonna buy me all the snacks that I want—”

“I can do that,” he nods firmly.

“And halfway through the movie, I want to stop watching it and watch you while you eat me out in the back of your van—”

He sputters out a laugh. “I can definitely do that.”

“And until then, you’re gonna kiss me silly, Eddie Munson.”

The grin he flashes you then is no less teasing than it had been before, but it doesn’t make you nearly as angry. Instead, it makes you smile, too.

“I knew this was just a ploy to get me to makeout with you,” he lilts and presses the first of many kisses to the tip of your nose. “You don’t have to get all angry next time, alright? I’ll kiss you anytime you want.”

“Promise?” you wonder playfully, already knowing the answer. You just want to hear him say it.

“I can show you better than I can tell you,” he quips.

It takes no more than twenty seconds for him to get you into your bunk and squeeze in over top of you. In record time, he’s kissing you absolutely breathless — like he won’t be satisfied until he’s swallowed you whole. You want so desperately for him to.

And if your mouth wasn’t kiss-bitten and half-numb, if your lungs weren’t screaming for air every time he kissed you, and your brain wasn’t aching for him to keep kissing you every time he stopped — you might’ve made some stupid joke. You would’ve teased him, told him how obedient he was to listen to you without question, just to drive him crazy.

But you can’t. Because he’s kissed you so insanely stupid, he’s the only thought in your head.

And if Eddie’s this perfect now — just moments after a stupid argument that had you both seeing red — you can’t imagine what he’ll be like tomorrow. As the rough pad of his tongue ruts against your own, you imagine how he’ll feel in between your legs when he’s got them bent over his shoulders in the back of his van.

#bug's blurb sleepover #eddie munson x reader #stranger things x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things imagine #eddie munson #published by bug #rockstar!eddie #eddie spaghetti drabble #st drabbles

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potentialheartofdarkness · 1 year

Text

Eddie heard Steve singing completely on accident. He’d been sitting up in bed, the bed Steve so graciously let him stay in after they got too high to go anywhere, waiting for Steve to shower when he heard it.

The angelic voice he’d never once heard before from Steve of all people.

Now don’t get him wrong, Eddie was and had been for a while; head over heels in love with Steve. They’d become friends after Vecna, bonded by trauma or whatever Dustin kept calling it, and had slowly developed into this weird in between stage. Eddie was trying not to overdo it and scare Steve away, and it seemed like Steve was doing the same. Every tiny roll of Steve’s eyes as he ducked his head to hide a smile or blush at Eddie’s words, felt like a huge win.

He’d seen a lot of Steve lately, learnt a lot about him. They dropped any pretence of sleeping in separate rooms after the nightmares, waking in a pile of tangled limbs and hurriedly pulling apart with muttered apologies. They didn’t address the fact that their apologies felt hollow. He’d learnt that Steve wasn’t sure what his favourites of anything was, always forced to go with the flow of his friends. He’d recently discovered some music he enjoyed and who was Eddie to deny the sparkling eyes of Steve begging him to listen to it with him. He was good with the kids, listening intently and keeping note of their current interests. He’d joined a few hellfire nights, drawing their characters for them. He’d discovered he had a real talent for that and Eddie had to see more of it. He convinced Steve to help draw characters and enemies for dnd nights, and design posters for Corroded Coffin gigs. He’d help Steve along, find some things he liked and helped him explore who he was as a person. Robin did too, the pair of them endlessly recommending things for him to try. Things for him to wear, possible hobbies he could do like baking and even crocheting.

Steve loved it.

But Eddie had never heard him sing before. Not until now. His voice was good, he could keep a tune, he had some natural talent. Not too high, not too low, just scratchy enough to hit the singers sweet spot. Before he knew it he was on his feet and throwing open the bathroom door.

“Stop screaming, Stevie, it’s just me.” He said and Steve peaked his head around the curtain.

“Jesus Ed’s, scared the shit out of me.” His fear melted into mild annoyance and confusion. “Why are you here?”

“You didn’t tell me you can sing!” Eddie accused and Steve flushed, pulling his head back behind the curtain. Eddie heard him start rinsing his hair and immediately went red when he realized their position.

“I didn’t realize that warranted busting down the door when I’m mid shower.” Steve grumbled before he sighed, apparently finished with the water and he shut the tap off. “I’m stepping out.” He warned.

“Steve Harrington, fresh out of a shower and completely nude? My heart won’t stand the sight.” Eddie tried to go for flirtatious to hide his embarrassment but it didn’t quite hit. “I’ll wait outside.” He shut the door behind him. Less than a minute later Steve was opening the door, towel wrapped around his waist and hair still dripping wet. Eddie’s mouth went dry. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen Steve shirtless, what with the Lovers Lake incident and then countless days spent in his swimming pool during the summer. But it always left Eddie sort of breathless, words caught in his throat, heart pounding in his chest.

“Cat got your tongue?” Steve asked, smirk tugging at his lips, as Eddie realized he’d been staring a little too long to be subtle.

“You didn’t tell me you could sing! And I mean really sing, Stevie, like you’re good.” Eddie followed him back to the bedroom and Steve laughed lightly.

“Yeah, church choir and all that when I was little.” He replied, searching his drawers for some sweatpants and one of his yellow sweaters. “I don’t usually sing much anymore, my parents hated it and I didn’t have any songs I liked.” He shrugged and Eddie spun to face the wall when Steve started to drop his towel. He looked at the roof and prayed to any god that could hear him that his face wasn’t as red as it felt.

“Well I like it.” Eddie’s voice was quiet and with his back to Steve he didn’t see the way his hands fumbled the sweater before pulling it over his head. “And, it’s the perfect kind of voice for some background vocals we’re looking for.” Steve tapped him on the shoulder and he turned back around to face him.

“Background vocals?” Steve perched himself on the edge of his bed as Eddie started pacing, talking with his hands as he tried to explain.

“Okay so, we have this gig coming up and they’re going to let us record an album, like an actual professional album, and we need some background vocals on the tracks.” He stopped and pointed at Steve. “And you, sweet beautiful amazing you, Steve Harrington, have the best fucking vocals for the background track that I have been looking for for months!” Steve stared at him, his face was unreadable and Eddie felt a bit of anxiety pool in his stomach.

“You think I’m beautiful?” Steve asked, and Eddie groaned, running his fingers across his face.

“That’s not the point Steve, I’m asking if you’d do the background vocals.” Eddie took two steps forwards and poked Steve in the forehead and Steve swatted his hand away.

“No lets go back to that. You think I’m beautiful.” Eddie’s face went red and he looked away towards the window.

“It was a slip of the tongue.” He protested before attempting to change the subject. “Look all I’m saying is that, you’re perfect.” Steve’s face broke out into a grin and he rushed to continue his sentence. “I mean for the track! Your voice! It’s perfect! God, whatever. We don’t even have to put your name on it, and if you want to do even more than background vocals maybe we could do that too.” He grumbled, burying his face in his hands to hide the vibrant red screaming off his cheeks.

“So you think I’m perfect, and beautiful.” Eddie dropped his hands to give Steve the most incredulous look, only to be met with a shit eating grin and a raised eyebrow.

“Fuck you.” He went to take a step away but Steve caught him by the wrist.

“I’ll do it.”

“What?” Eddie spun back around. “You will?”

“Yeah why not, maybe it will be fun.” Steve shrugged, aiming for nonchalant but Eddie could see a pleased grin tugging at his mouth. His eyes sparkled with interest and oh god, Eddie was so far gone.

“Steve Harrington I could kiss you right now, holy shit.” Eddie breathed, filled with excitement and anticipation.

“Okay.”

“Wait, what?”

“I said okay.” Steve met Eddie’s eyes again, a little bit of hope and fear stirring underneath the brown irises and well, Eddie didn’t need to be told twice.

(They recorded the album a week later, and Steve even had a side part in a song Eddie had written about him, though he didn’t know it was about him until a few weeks later when Dustin mentioned it.)

#steddie au #steddie ficlet #steddie #stranger things au #guys idk what this is it was supposed to be small and now it’s this #i’m going insane anyone want anything #remy speaks #season 1 steve singing to nancy just #lives in my head rent free why don’t we see more of that

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filmofhybe · 6 months

Text

a song from me to you

pairing : park jeongseong x reader Genre : Producer x singer , angsty , ex to lovers , fluff warnings : swearing , kissing 1196 words

a/n : been thinking about producer Jay after he was listed in the credit of sweet venom. So proud of my boy and I hope this comeback would be a success as always!!

> masterlist of all my work

Y/n Y/l/n, a talented singer-songwriter who had a gift for pouring her heart and soul into her music, creating songs that resonated deeply with listeners. Y/n’s career had taken off when she met Jay, a skilled producer who believed in her talent and helped shape her sound.

Y/N and Jay not only shared a professional relationship but also a romantic one. They were deeply in love, and their connection fueled their creative collaborations. Jay is always willing to guide y/n through during recording, praising her from time to time like a good boyfriend he is. Staying up late just to produce songs that are now top hits of hers, supporting her through everything. Both of them were so thankful for each other.

However, as time went on, the pressures of the industry and their personal lives began to strain their relationship. As time goes on, both of them eventually realize their ideas aren’t colliding together anymore, nothing seems to be working between them. As stress and disagreements starts involving constantly, they decided to part ways both personally and professionally. Leaving piles of unfinished lyrics and production behind.

After their broke up, Y/N had written a poignant song for Jay, a heartfelt tribute that mirrored the love they once shared. But she had never released it, believing that without Jay's production, the song wouldn't reach its full potential. It remained hidden away, a secret piece of her heart.

“So have you ever have a song you wanted to release so badly but just can’t?”

Currently, an interviewer is asking y/n about the unreleased song during an interview.

“yeah. I always will have. And it will always be that song.”

“And why’s that..?”

“I wrote it for someone, or should I say ex now. I scrapped it, not because it wasn’t nice or it brought bad memories. Is just I think without him helping me produce it, it just won’t be the same as my other songs. And it just won’t hit different.”

Y/N poured her heart out, explaining that she hadn't released it because she felt it needed Jay's touch to truly capture its essence.

“I feel like I know who it is…”

“I think everyone knows. He really means the absolute world to me. I’m just mad the industry broke us apart.”

“If you guys ever cross path again, would you release it?”

“Absolutely. 100% actually. Because this song can imply with anyone if you are still so In love with that person your no longer with.”

Upon hearing y/n’s words, Jay found himself overwhelmed with emotions. He realized the depth of Y/N's feelings and the impact their collaboration had on her music. They realized none of their music would be perfect without each other. They both needed each other without realizing it until one spoke up. Filled with hope, Jay decided to reach out to y/n, hoping to rekindle their relationship and artistic partnership.

A few days passed, y/n was initially surprised by Jay's contact

“Hey I saw your interview.. it was really meaningful.”

“haha thank you..”

“I know it’s about me. I’m willing to risk everything I’m currently doing just to work with you again. Not just work but to continue our love again. You don’t understand I only work best with you.”

“I know.. you’re the only person that gets me. If I’m being honest with you, my songs aren’t the even close to being the best without your producing. I hate how we thought us separating was a good decision.”

“Baby you know I’ll always wait for you, for you to reach out once again. So I can produce more songs and memories with you.”

“Then what are you waiting for? Come over tomorrow I miss you too much..”

they both took some time to reflect on their past and the love they shared. After careful consideration, she decided to give it another chance. She believed in their connection and the magic they created together.

A few days later, Y/N and Jay found themselves back in the studio, working side by side once again. There was a renewed sense of purpose and understanding between them, having grown individually during their time apart. They poured their hearts into their music, creating an atmosphere of creativity and passion. The studio was once again filled with laughter, pictures and Polaroids of each other, kissing and cuddling section through out, and jay’s praises filled the air once again.

“Baby you’re doing really good, I just need your voice to be more high pitch there alright? You’re doing a good job baby girl.”

“Ugh imma die from all these notes your telling me to do..”

“The other producers must be going easy on you because I ain’t, now focus.”

“Kisses for reward?”

“Always my love..”

“You know you’re so good at producing sometimes is scary.”

“And you’re so good at writing lyrics it scares me sometimes.”

“Stop making me Flattered” I mumbled against his neck. Arms wrapped around his neck as I cuddle into his lap. Watching him focus on fixing the track.

“I’m not I’m just being serious love, you’re really good at it.. the lyrics are beautiful. I can’t believe this song is about me and I’m producing it.” As jay looks at you with much adoration in his eyes

“Everything about you is beautiful that’s why the lyrics are always. And with you producing it, it makes it ten times more better!” You laughed and before you know it jay kisses you deeply before mumbling a small “thank you” against your lips.

And finally, the day arrived when Y/N felt ready to share the song she had written for Jay with the world. Titled "A Song from Me to You," it was a beautiful testament to their love and the journey they had been through. Y/N's heartfelt lyrics, combined with Jay's personal touch as a producer, made the song truly extraordinary. She was so thankful for Jay, so grateful that she can finally share this song she once scrapped to the word.

When "A Song from Me to You" was released, it made waves in the music industry. Listeners were captivated by the raw emotion and the undeniable chemistry between Y/N's vocals and Jay's production. The song struck a chord with people from all walks of life, touching their hearts and reminding them of the power of love. After a year of hard work, the song was now a top hit once again.

Y/N and Jay's reunion not only brought them personal happiness but also propelled their careers to new heights. The success of "A Song from Me to You" opened doors for more collaborations, making more memories in the future, loving each other and them continuing to create music that resonated deeply with their fans. Y/n and Jay's journey was a reminder that sometimes, second chances can lead to beautiful outcomes, both personally and professionally.

And I was delighted to know that jay and the world can hear the lyrics of “a song from me to you.”

taglist : @surefornext @spilled-coffee-cup @skepvids @amymyli @in-somnias-world @okjaeminn @nonotwice1 @thinkmyg @blubbfsh

Reblog , comment or dm to be on my perm taglist !

networks : @k-films @k-neighborhood @k-labels @kflixnet

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the-doomed-witch · 1 year

Text

✦ You’re An Idiot & I Love You

Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: After Thanos, you and Wanda quit the team to live a peaceful life together, trying to leave behind the trauma. (Read warnings)

Word Count: 4.0k

Author’s Note: hello here’s another fic, i’ve been working on it since almost a week :) i cannot stop listening to 305 by shawn mendes so i based the latter part of this fic on the song <3 the initial part is just a vent fic lmao. i’m thinking of writing a part two, but i don’t really know. my gif btw!

Warnings: 18+ MINORS+MEN DNI. traumatic past events, post-war trauma, flashbacks & nightmares, smut, thigh riding, fingering, praise kink, names (princess), a little angst, fluffy | best friends to lovers

Masterlist

YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED TO REPOST OR COPY MY WORK.

— ✦ —

You hit the pause button on your phone, look at the clouds and sigh. The park near your home is an amazing place to be, with all its flora, and a clearer view of the sky. Cities are so full of buildings, it’s almost impossible to see a clear sky outside the park anymore.

Whenever anxiety comes over, sitting on the park bench and listening to white noise helps you calm down. It also helps Wanda know where to take you when you aren’t at your best.

Sometimes she would hold your hand and sit next to you, listening to the same sound in a different pair of headphones. It’s truly therapeutic for both of you. The events of the past few years have been deeply disturbing for the entire team of Avengers. So you and Wanda decided to quit the team, and swore that both of you wouldn’t never exercise your powers again. Of course, there could be exceptional cases where the use of powers is ultimately the only way, but it’s mostly nothing to do with your simple lives.

Wanda goes to a therapist sometimes, and has offered you to try it out too, several times. You just deny with a simple shake of your head, and keep the topic aside. You’re happy to see her get better, settle her unsolved traumas, and accept Vision’s death.

“I knew you’d be here.” Wanda walks up to you, which is also the reason why you clicked the pause button. You give her a sincere smile, which she returns happily.

“Guess I’ve developed a little longing for this place. I can’t help but be here, I feel the safest here when you aren’t around.”

“Oh Y/N, you know I always come back home and always will. You’re my best friend, and the only one. I’m so happy that living together has worked out for the both of us.”

“So am I, Wands. I know I don’t have to run around the compound looking for you anymore.” Smiling with melancholy, you continue, “I miss bumping into our friends while doing that.”

She sighs deeply. There are memories of Vision in her mind, but they don’t feel like a dagger anymore. They are just bittersweet feelings for a star-crossed love. “Y/N, it’s been years since we left the team. Do you think they miss us? I wish we had parted with no hard feelings.”

“I think that it’s fine. It’s been years, nothing big has happened. And I hope it only stays this way. I don’t care if someone is still pissed off after so long, the war damaged us just as it did them, and we are still recovering.”

“But Y/N… you’re just refusing it all. There’s no point in being delusional. It’s affecting you, and your mental health in a really bad way.”

“I know but I cannot help it Wanda! I have had nothing before the Avengers, I don’t even know what I am grieving for. I haven’t had anyone to go home to since forever, and now that I have it, I wouldn’t change it for anything. Not even for friends who’d have hard feelings against me after I choose to live a life post-war.” You feel like you’ve spoken too much, because you feel like tearing up.

Wanda comes closer to you and hugs you tight. “Y/N, honey, it’s okay I’m right here.”

You sit there with her, since there’s nothing else you can do right now. For several minutes, none of you loosen the grip, too scared that either of you could turn to dust.

— ✦ —

On the way back home, you hold hands like little kids. Living with your best friend has got to be the best decision you’ve ever made. Feels like she holds a key to the corner of your heart that nobody has dared to discover.

“Hey, what are you thinking?” she moves closer and sits next to you on the couch.

“Nothing, just that you’re probably my favourite person in the whole world.”

“Stop being so cheesy and tell me the truth.”

“It is the truth. I love being with you Wanda, I love you.”

“I love you too, Y/N. Your existence lights up mine. I don’t want to leave you, ever.”

You give her a kiss on the cheek, and reply, “I will not leave you, ever.” After being through all the devastating events together, you’ve both developed quite a habit of sitting together in silence and thinking. Snapping out of the state, you go to your room to sleep. Or maybe just lay down. Wanda remains in the living room.

— ✦ —

It’s almost 4:30AM and you haven’t slept. Thoughts about Thanos, his army, your teammates, Natasha, and Tony come back. Illusions of blasts, gore and doom fill up your mind. Countless number of people have lost loved ones.

Maybe, just maybe, you could have done something to save your friends. Resentment and regret feel like two old friends who come to lay down next to you.

Wanda is in her room, you can sense her sleeping. It would be a good thing to have someone to talk to, but not that great if you’d have to wake her up. Eyes open, you go back to staring at the ceiling. Tears begin pooling in the corners of your eyes, ready to roll down any moment now.

Silently, you sniff away the mildest nightmare of the night.

— ✦ —

You sit at your desk a couple of hours later, and begin writing something that you don’t know. “Good morning. You're up early?” Wanda walks in. She’s still wearing her shorts and tank top. And she looks damn fine.

“Good morning. Also, what do you mean by ‘up’?” you reply back sarcastically.

“Oh well, don’t tell me you stayed up all night. Now come here, you desperately need a morning hug.”

“You’re a hundred and ten percent correct.”

You get up and go hug her closely. She rubs your back and whispers words of reassurance in your ear. You just hold her and smell her messy hair. You’re sure she used your shampoo but it only makes you want to hug her tighter. After letting go, you look at her face adoringly and tell her sincerely, “You look pretty. So pretty.” She blushes and pushes your shoulder lightly, as a friendly gesture.

“Stop teasing me! I haven’t even had my coffee yet. I’m gonna have to sound mad at you if you make fun of me right now.”

“You think I’m joking? You look fucking gorgeous. Not even kidding, I’d kiss you if we were toge-” You regain consciousness and regret saying anything at all. Should’ve told her I’m being satirical for no reason, you think.

“What was that you said?”

“Nothing.”

“No no, you said something. Say it.”

“Uhhhh that I was making fun of you for nothing. Go tie a bun or something.”

“Did you just say that you would kiss me?”

“What?! No!”

“Okay, if you say so. I don’t trust my ears anyway.” She simply walks out of the room with an air of smugness.

During breakfast, she asks you a question you never expected, but should’ve seen coming. “But like, let’s say hypothetically, would you kiss me if I asked you to?”

You almost choke on the toast. “Wanda, let me have my breakfast in peace. Please.”

“Another question, who would you kiss? Who is your type even? I’ve literally never seen you talk about this in almost over a decade of our friendship. Come on, Y/N, there’s got to be someone.”

“No Wanda, I don’t have a type. If someone is for me, they’re for me. There’s no one that I like right now.”

Her face grew serious and her smile faltered. “You know I can read your mind if I want to, don’t you?”

“I know that. I also know you wouldn’t break a promise to know about a possible date of mine or something.”

“Fine, you win.”

— ✦ —

You’ve been in the park almost all day again. But your mind has been thinking of something else today.

Why did I even say that at all? Would I even kiss her? Would she kiss me back at all? She probably still misses Vision. She literally loved him so much, they were perfect together. No, I shouldn’t even think of this. Especially when Wanda loved Vision so much, and probably still does. But then again it’s just ‘probably’. SHUT UP Y/N.

Screw this. I don’t want to kiss her at all. Never ever.

— ✦ —

“Well you came back quickly, I didn’t even have to come to the garden to bring you back. That’s new.”

“Yeah I guess?”

“Too tempted to kiss me, aren’t you honey?”

“Can you please stop with that Wanda? I don’t even know why I said that at all. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause awkwardness between us. But you’re kind of amplifying it and it’s making me uncomfortable. Can we just not do this? You simply looked gorgeous, that’s all. And I’m not the one to kiss someone just because of how they look. Just leave this.”

“Oh-uhm, okay Y/N. I’m sorry, let’s not make anything uncomfortable for either one of us.”

Wanda seemed deeply hurt by your evidently irritated reply. For a moment, she also felt terror-stricken. It was a side of you that she had seen, but never faced before.

“Thank you. Do you need some help with dinner?”

“Nah it’s almost ready. You might want to set up the table though.”

“Most certainly.”

— ✦ —

The following week is all the same. Everything is sort of normal. Morning comes, you have breakfast with Wanda, you go to the park, Wanda comes to pick you up in the evening, you both have dinner, go back to your own rooms, and you grieve.

A parcel arrives in the mail. It’s addressed to “Y/N Maximoff” and you’re quite unsure how that feels like. Wanda takes notice of it, but says nothing. You kind of wish she’d say something about it. Wanda makes mention of going back to her chores, but you ask her, “Don’t you want to know what’s in the box? I mean, they could’ve mistaken either one of our names.”

“Not really, you can go ahead and open it.”

It was a real bummer. You feel guilty about her attitude towards you. You know something is definitely off with Wanda. You sure have had fights and arguments with her before, but none of them have made her turn away like this. You keep the box aside and decide to open it once Wanda starts talking to you again.

I mean, we are talking but you know what I mean, you tell yourself. And find it stupid. However, the rest of the day continues.

You decide against going to the dear park today, considering how pissed off Wanda already seemed. There has got to be something which could make up her mood.

“Hey Wands, you wanna watch a sitcom? It’s been a while since we sat together to watch one.”

“No Y/N, you can watch it by yourself. I’ve got some work to do.”

And in the same way, she was successful at avoiding spending time with you through any other activity. She was mad at you. You had to clear things with her as soon as possible, before she could find a hundred more reasons to be mad at you.

By the time evening arrived, all the work should definitely have been done. You did not disturb Wanda during her online work even though you’d do that normally whenever you stayed at home.

“Wanda, I need to talk to you. Please stop walking around. You aren’t even listening to me! Just wait for a few minutes. Tell me what is wrong.” You hold her hand to hold her back from leaving.

She takes a deep breath and questions you, “Why do you think something is wrong? Besides, you are the one who did not go have her nerves calmed at a park today but I didn’t go around poking in your business. Leave my hand!”

“Hey, hey take it easy. Wanda, your face literally says “I am pissed off but I want you to guess what it is about” and since I honestly cannot figure it out so I’m simply asking you. If you don’t want to tell me then nevermind. Whatever it is, I am sorry.”

“I don’t want your apologies, keep them with you. And you can go do whatever the hell you want, I don't feel like talking to you right now. Also yes, I am pissed off.” Wanda’s voice slowly rises with every word she speaks, and a little discussion transforms into a heated argument.

“Fine, if that’s what you want. I won’t talk to you and I’m not even going to speak a word around you. You can say au revoir to my voice because I’m not gonna say anything. Night!”

“Yeah, as if I wanna hear you talk. I’m tired of it anyways. Night!”

Both of you have gone to bed without having dinner. And your mind is playing with you again. Flashbacks of not only the greatest war, but also your biggest fight with your best friend till now. You can hear her words echo in your mind.

“Yeah as if I wanna hear you talk. I’m tired of it anyways.”

“You can go do whatever the hell you want.”

“Leave my hand.”

In all these years, you have never heard her asking you to stop holding her hand. It was too heartbreaking to even imagine it.

— ✦ —

Wanda doesn’t talk to you the following day. Or the one after. Or the next. No calling you for the meal, no coming to pick you up from the park, nothing. You feel like you have had enough, so you approach her directly.

“So, do you want me to move out or something?”

“No Y/N.”

“Then speak your mind Wanda, I don’t even know what’s going on.”

“‘Speak your mind’ you say? Okay, here goes nothing.”

Without hesitation, she places her hand on the back of your neck and pulls you closer. For a moment, she stares into your eyes, and then kisses you deeply. You’re feeling both surprised, and satisfied. She closes her eyes to just feel you, and you place your hands in her hair. Her lips leave a trail as they move down to your neck, you tilt your head upwards to grant her all the access she would need. Wanda bites your skin and you let out a rough moan, driving her completely crazy.

That’s when you realise. Your best friend is marking your neck and you have no idea what’s going on. You gently motion for her to stop, which, reluctantly, she complies with.

“What?”

She clearly wants to go back to the moment, so she breathlessly asks you in return, “What?”

“Wanda.”

“Y/N.” She looks at you with a grin and pecks your lips again. “Alright, fine, let me explain.”

“Yes please, because as much as I love it, I’m still clueless.”

“I just have one question, now that you know, would you ever kiss me?”

Your cheeks redden up at her question. You avoid eye contact, gulp, and reply, “If you want then yes.”

She probably wants to growl and bang her head against the wall. “WHY DON’T YOU TELL ME HOW YOU FUCKING FEEL ABOUT ME?! CAN’T YOU SEE?!”

“See what Wanda?”

“Oh my God I cannot believe this. You are an idiot and I love you so fucking much.”

“Wa-”

“Don’t you dare say another word, I hate you! You’re just acting-” You shut her up by kissing her intensely, and again, and again, and yet again.

After pulling yourself away, you need some fresh air. So you sit on the couch, and beckon Wanda to follow. As soon as you’re sat, she decides to sit on your thigh, facing you. She slips her hands inside your t-shirt and seeks your permission, “Can I?” You smile and nod back at her, giving her consent.

She unhooks your bra, and cups your breasts in her hands each. Gently, she begins stimulating them. Your shoulders relax as she helps you feel lighter. You shut your eyes as Wanda gets you all worked up.

Suddenly, she pulls out her hands. You open your eyes and frown, uncertain about what happened. Wanda rubs herself against your thigh, making you moan by feeling her wetness. “Take off your shirt.” She directs you. You do as asked, and she’s met with the sight of your bare upper body. She immediately dives in to lick and play with your nipples, as you close your eyes again. Quite occasionally, you managed to say the same two coherent words; “Oh Wanda…”

She loves seeing you this way. It’s been years since she saw you relieve your stress. She hovers on your top, and connects her lips with your lips once again.

After a long heavy make out session, you decide to consider her wetness still lingering on your thigh. Grabbing her by the hips, you guide her for a pace. She’s in her yellow cotton shorts, and probably wouldn’t mind ruining them even more for you. Her moans get louder and louder till she finally says, “Y/N I’m gonna-”

“Yes honey, do it.” was all it needed for the knot in her stomach to release as she made a mess on your thigh. You slip two fingers within her heat to help her ride it out slowly. You mutter small praises to help her stabilise herself after her climax. Words like “You’re such a good girl” and “You did so well, princess” clearly had an effect on her. When you’re done and you pull out your hand from her dripping cunt, you let Wanda have a seat beside you.

She keeps on breathing heavily, but then looks at the sight of you licking your fingers clean. It was irrestitable for her, she had to pull you into a deep kiss. It was evident — she loved kissing you, whether it was a cute peck, a make out session, or just her catching her breath.

“Let me return the favour detka.” She requests you. You feel like it isn’t really necessary, but you don’t feel like breaking the moment so you let her do it. She pulls down your shorts, and begins teasing you over the panties with her fingers. You arch your back and groan, “Wanda please don’t-” So she bends and kisses your clothed core once before helping you strip off.

Slowly, she pushes in a finger, then adds another one. You spontaneously grasp her shoulders, which perturbs her. So she withdraws her fingers and looks at you tenderly and asks, “Y/N, are you really okay with this?”

“It’s just that… it’s been so long since I have…”

“Hey, I understand. If you want me to stop I can stop right away. You are always my first priority.”

“No, I want this Wanda. Everything feels so right, after so long.”

She slowly kisses you again, and this time not leaving out a single space she hasn’t discovered yet. Before you could do anything, she filled your intimacy with her fingers yet again. It’s an agonisingly slow pace, and it makes you shudder underneath her. “You look so gorgeous Y/N. You’re the most beautiful person I know, inside and out.” You can only breathe heavily in response because you’re (i) speechless, (ii) cuntful.

Gradually, she picks up the speed for you. Echoes of your pants and screams fill the room, and Wanda is enjoying every single bit of it. Soon enough, you were ready for your release. You try to warn her, but she understands your signal and whispers gently, “Come for your princess, Y/N.” It was all you needed to make a mess all over her fingers. She rides you through it as your elevated heartbeat goes back to normal.

She watches you with affection, and moments later you return Wanda’s gaze. She sits beside you again, and you both are in a familiar comfortable silence all over again. You decide to break it and bring up the previous conversation, “So… I guess I love you too? You’re the idiot by the way.”

“What do you mean that you guess? If you want to play the game then don’t forget you’re the naked one here and I can tease you really bad.”

“Oh really princess?” You wink at her and shift closer to her. She wraps her arm around you and says, “Let’s get a little cleaned up. I’m feeling a little hungry.”

You innocently ask her, “What do you want to eat?” but her mind is already running towards the wrong places. She swallows and replies, “A cup of green tea would do for me right now, would you like one?” You shake your head in the positive and get up.

— ✦ —

You two sit on the balcony to have the green tea. It’s late at night and the city is asleep. Your mind stares at the dark sky, still not quite visible because of the buildings. Wanda looks towards you the same time you look at her, she’s smiling. “Look at the moon Y/N!” She points towards it. Your gaze stays fixed on Wanda.

“I am looking at her. She’s breathtaking.”

— ✦ —

The following morning was enchanting as ever. You wake in Wanda’s arms, who is already lying awake next to you, waiting for you. “Good morning detka,” she whispers, “I hope you had a nice sleep.”

Morning laziness takes over you, so you hug her tightly and hum. She giggles and rubs your back with her hand, indicating for you to not doze off again. You groan, “I feel like I've slept after years, probably the first time ever.”

“It’s because you are sleeping for the first time in years. I love seeing you like this, but you need to wake up lyubov.”

“Fine, but you have to answer my question.”

“Go ahead.”

“What were you mad about, yesterday and before that?”

She hides her face behind your shoulder. “It’s stupid.” You hold her chin softly and tilt her head so she’s facing you. She sighs.

“Fine. I just didn’t realise how badly I’ve ever wanted to kiss you until you accidentally said that you’d kiss me if we were together. I’ve never been around someone who I could sit together with, listening to some white noise, and feel at home with. Hell, I’ve never been with anyone who could tell me they love me with my morning face. And then you backed off by acting all I-would-never-kiss-you so I was just a little pissed off. I’m sorry. You see, it’s stupid.”

“It isn’t, you’re just an idiot in love with another idiot. Also, don’t you dare say anything about your morning face. Your freckles, your faded accent, your natural hair - my goodness Wanda, I’d seriously kiss you if we were together.” You place little pecks all over her face, making her chuckle. “I love you Wanda.”

“And I love you Y/N.”

You hear the doorbell ring out of the blue. Against your will, you had to get up and open the door. There’s the mail for the day - a few bills, and a small box, addressed to “Y/N Maximoff” again.

You call Wanda outside the room. When she comes next to you, you ask her, “This is the second box. What do you think it is?” She arches her eyebrows suspiciously and takes the box away from you to keep it next to the bowl of keys. “We can find that out later.” she says before kissing your neck.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x y/n #wanda maximoff x you #wanda x reader #wanda x y/n #wanda x you #mcu wanda #wanda x fem!reader #wanda smut #scarlet witch #scarlet witch x y/n #scarlet witch x you #scarlet witch x reader

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psychelis-new · 9 months

Text

pick a pile: "How can you get more clarity/leave this rut? -career/studies"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read suggestions and guidance in regard to your current work/school/studies situation. this reading is especially supposed to help those who are confused about what's ahead for them or how to reach their goals, so that they can maybe find some clarity about the next steps they should take or at least make them think about and see their situation under a new light.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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pile 1

I think there's something you need to overcome, some type of obstacle or something you need to learn from your present situation, before you can move on onto the next stage and leave this rut you may find yourself stuck into. I'm also hearing "ascension" so it may be something related to your spirituality too and how you live it or see it, or if you have any insecurities related with it (could be a dark night of the soul/tower moment). You may need to study more about it, about tarots for examples or learning from more other/ancient cultures (it could be either from books, online or travelling for example). Ofc, if it's not regarding your spirituality (which you may actually work with), it could be something you need to realize from your confusion, maybe a change in approach or perspective. Or it could be about communicating more your needs (or even listening to them for real and working to meet them: if something doesn't make you happy, you can do the basic and then move onto something else -I'm talking about a job you don't like anymore or school: just work to get outta there). I think you probably went through a huge blockage or a pretty tough situation that kinda made you worry about your abilities as well (eg. an exam gone bad). Try to reconnect with yourself and analyze what went wrong, see it as a lesson from which to grow instead of something that is blocking you. Things are changing (maybe you're palnning a change in your job or school or where you want to live), and this sometimes really brings in big doubts about ourselves. Try to always stay connected with yourself. Beautiful flowers can blossom after the darkest and coldest times. Let yourself do the same. Clarity will very likely hit you after you give yourself a break/take things easier (don't worry/overstress) and understand patiently the reasons behind this blockage you're experiencing. In conclusion, the main point in your pile is about learning something important that will help you move forward and maybe pass to a different level (practically, eg. by moving position in your job or even just personally, eg. by gaining more knowledge about yourself or something).

song: winter blossom | dept, ashley alisha, nobody likes you pat

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pile 2

You are probably embraking on a new path, be it a new career or school. It could also be your first job (and it could be you starting your own business) or you're trying to apply somewhere specific through a competition (for a few; maybe you even got that position you always dreamt of). What is blocking you and causing you to not be able to really move forward and start this new thing, is probably fear. You may be having doubts about your abilities or think things may be going in a specific (not so positive) way while that's not true. You have all you need to make it, and even be successful at it. You have learned a lot in your past and prepared for this a lot, so that's just something you need to check within yourself: why are you blocking yourself/self sabotaging yourself? Why do you fear really trying and making it? You're enough and even if things won't go exactly as planned, they won't be as bad, and anyway you have the right mindset to adapt and make the best out of any situation that will come to you. I also think the Universe is going to help you somehow. For some of you, you probably fear having to leave something behind or close the door with something (eg. you need to move abroad which means you'll have to leave family and friends, maybe even a partner behind) but it's not necessarily so. These days, communications are so easy with the internet, there's no need to worry. You can still be present with them too and find solutions/compromises, if you (both) really want to commit to what you have. You don't have to close any door if you don't want to: no matter where you'll physically be, your heart can be anywhere, and you can always have days off/vacations to spend with whom and where you want. Have a real chat with yourself (and your person/people) to see what you really want for yourself (and your relationship/s). Sometimes we only need to give things a try and see if they can work or not. Sometimes we only need to communicate our fears and doubts openly to find out what to do.

song: u make me wanna | blue

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pile 3

You're probably trying to find your call or road. You may have a dream career or you're envisioning something about how you want your future to be like, but... it's like it stops there. You're not really taking any real step towards it, it seems. Maybe you're still young and in school, so obviously you can only daydream about what you want to do (still, preparing yourself and planning future studies is good). Maybe you're just clearing your mind about this matter. Maybe you're just living day by day hoping this torture (school, yeah) will end soon so you can do something you really love. I think you're kinda bored with your life now, you don't even want to study, and daydreaming about your future is helping you trying to find a spur to go on. For some of you, no matter if you're still in school or not, you may have a dream career but it feels so unreachable that you can only imagine or daydream about it: you consciously decide to not take action about it, either to not disappoint someone else (probably your family/society) or because you don't feel good or prepared enough. Here's the thing: I understand for some cultures is hard to do it and disappoint your parents (sometimes it's also a matter of triggers you get like you need to be what they want and have their validation to live well, while you actually don't but that's what they made you believe even unconsciously), but tbh you're not living for anyone's pleasure nor to realize any of their unfulfilled desires. You're living just for you and to fulfill yourself and your wishes. As for being good or prepared enough... honestly you'll never be prepared enough for anything in this life. You just learn on the way what you need, you adapt, you change, you transform... that's a continuos work so you feeling not being good or prepared enough is basically just your mind's excuse to not let you leave this known and comfy place where you're sure of what's ahead of you and what's around you, even if you don't really like it or don't feel it's for you. Listen to your soul: if it's not a desire born just for fantasize or to escape a difficult situation but it's something you really want and need to do, then you probably should at least listen to yourself and maybe give yourself a chance. And if right now you need to give yourself a break, do that for real. You have time to plan things and even to study.

song: blue dream | jhené aiko

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pile 4

I have the feeling that there's something you don't wanna check, and it may be something inside of you or related to your feelings/emotions. Maybe you're just having a hard time understanding what to do but... I feel there's also something you're avoiding. Maybe cause it just hurts too much, in some way. Maybe you're closing off from your creativity? You probably fear not making it if you chose any creative endeavour so you're opting for an "easier" career. I understand your reasons ofc, but I'm not sure your soul does. I think you may fear that others are better than you or there's a lot of offer in your creative field so you're just trying to apply for 9-5 jobs. Maybe, actually, you're just competing with yourself and you feel like your art (I almost wrote heart, perfect) is not able to give away what you really want to give, or that you cannot do what you want the way you want to. It's like, you're moving away from what you really want to do, just because it constantly turns out to be not exactly how you want it to be. What if it has to be different from how you want it? What if it's so just to teach you, and maybe your audience as well, something important? Like... maybe you just have to appreciate yourself for who you are, the way you are. You don't have to be better, you're already perfect, and so is your art (again, almost wrote heart). What if there's nothing more you need to do or give, cause you're already giving your all? It's okay, we cannot send our mind a signal to stamp what we envision (I mean, I don't even wanna know from where'd you stamp that), and it's okay if our hands/bodies cannot translate things into reality as we are seeing them in our mind. We're not a scanner, fr. Think that, in the process of moving from your mind to your body, you put into your reasult/art all you are, all you've seen, all you've been into, all you've practiced (but not what you can still practice and do, cause you can get better too here and there, you can smooth things over, if you don't give up and keep working with yourself). And these things are things that only you, with your own life experience, can give to your art and the people looking at it. So maybe, MAYBE, you can try to give yourself another chance and more time, and the ability to even make mistakes and change. If you want to, ofc. If not, you're ofc free to go to your 9-5 job and have it "easier" (not the right expression, but still): maybe you'll come back to art in a different time (maybe when it's the right time and you have made up your mind about it and all the issues you perceive around it and yourself), in a different way and form. And add even more to it, after this new experience.

[I channeled about an artistic career, but honestly it could also be any other endeavour for some of you: the focus of the reading is about how you see yourself in relation to what you want to do, how you may be trying to escape what you want to do so to not having to deal with your block/self issues and find an "easier" and/or "faster" road to success -whatever it is that you consider success, maybe getting a good amount of money and not having to worry/being too much in charge of decisions -if you work as an employee, it's your boss deciding most stuff-. You have time to deal with this, btw, if this is what you fear].

song: imagine | ariana grande

#pick a pile #pac #pick a card reading #pick a photo #pick a card readings #pick a picture #pick a card #divination #career #psychic readings #clairs readings #tarot readings #tarot reading #intuitive readings

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norrisreads · 1 year

Text

set fire to the rain, part one #PG10

PAIRING: pierre gasly x reader! , Charles LecLerc x reader!platonic

SUMMARY: your first love is hard to forget because it leaves an 'imprint' on the sensory areas of your brain

WARNINGS: angst, will continue a part 2 soon! Listen to the song as a background music to get the feels of it!

FC: roses_are_rosie

sometimes i wake up by the door, that heart you caught, must be waiting for you

There’s a saying that goes, “your first love is hard to forget because it leaves an 'imprint' on the sensory areas of your brain�� and you’ve never believed it until you’ve experienced it.

you dated a man, that would do anything for you, that would suprise you breakfast in bed, made you feel like you’ve strike a lottery every single day, made you feel like your next could never beat this man.

But, the world is cruel because a few years later you’ve lost this man to someone who’s much worth than you are.

Even now, when we’re already over, i can’t help myself from looking for you

You’ve met through a mutual friend, some one who’s still close to you.

“I promise you y/n, you’ll like him! who knows you’re gonna finally fall in love and be in a long term relationship?” Charles was convincing you to date one of the drivers from the grid.

He was literally following every footsteps you’ve taken, usually you don’t mind his existence but here you are trying to focus on the notes placed in-front of you.

“Charles, if i wanted a relationship i would have been on hundreds and thousands of blind dates, i wouldn’t even be here right now! but im here, studying this” you sounded pissed while pointing to ur thick notes that was placed on top of the cafe table.

“Look, take a breath of fresh air, make yourself look pretty on date nights, do things you’ve never done before y/n! Live your life!” Charles was literally giving you the puppy eyes.

“Charles leclerc, i’m 4 years younger than you and i’ve an important examination that determine my career, but if doing this makes you shut the hell up, fine. Once and if this guy icks me, i’m not listening to you anymore!” You rolled your eyes jokingly, and heard charles pumping the air with a whispered ‘yes’

He snatched your mobile phone that you were holding on, and key-ed in number and letters and showed you the screen.

There on the screen was the name of your first love, pierre gasly.

Pierre Gasly, was a french man who took your breath away upon the first meeting. French wasn’t really the language you’re an expert in, even when your own best friend is monegasque. You’ve learn couple of words from charles but that’s it as both of you tend to mainly converse in english.

The whole date was not awkward at all, which comes to a surprise to you knowingly you’re a huge HUGE introvert with no social skills and from one date, to once in a few weeks dates to weekly dates and to finally being together.

In the first year of being together with pierre, nothing changed, everything was the same feeling as when you’ve met the first time. He would bring you around France whenever you’re on holidays, introducing you to his family and friends. What hits the spots is when he would bring you to places that he treasured the most.

The second year was when you’ve started to notice small changes, it started from him missing your weekly dates, not answering your calls with the excuse of him being too busy. You didn’t mind it at all, knowing you’re working while studying, your time for him wasn’t that much too, your routine while he was on season would be campus, work and sleep.

Whenever its off season, you’ll have routines where pierre and you would have picnics by the beach, pottery dates and more, but as days pass by you’ve realised how less time he has for you.

You knew something was wrong, but for someone who’s too in love, you refused to say anything until Charles spoke to you.

It was just a normal weekend, you’ve not plotted yourself a shift to your part time job, so you’ve decided to settle your school works at your own comfort of home until you heard a bell. You knew it wasn’t pierre and at this point, you had no faith in both you and pierre’s relationship.

“Hey, it’s been long” charles came in the house and hugged you.

“Yeah, sorry man, i’ve just been too busy, i’ve got to keep getting good grades for you to finally see me on the grid being a reporter” you smiled and led him to your kitchen, where most of your notes, laptop, books were.

“Sorry for the mess, was kinda in the zone” charles laughed, not minding one bit knowing how focused you are once you’ve start on your work.

“Pierre’s not homed?” Charles ask confusingly

“Pierre’s moved out, it’s only me charles” you refused to talk about pierre even-though you’re still in a relationship with him.

“When did it happened, why hasn’t pierre told me? What happened between you and him, y/n?”

“We lost the spark charles, i know he has his eyes on someone else charles” you knew, you knew how he looked at her whenever she was invited to the driver gatherings, you knew but you refused to believe even-though you knew how much prettier she was than you

“y/n, i’m so sorry. I didn’t know anything, i’ve never expected pierre to have done this, mon cherie. I’ve feel fault knowing I’ve introduced both of you to each other” charles stood in-front of you and engulfed you in a hug which led you to have a breakdown.

“It’s never your fault charles, this is why i’ve told you countless times i’m not interested in the dating zone. I’d rather stay home at weekends facing my bed and tv”

you laughed, but charles knew deep down his best friend was suffering silently, and this was what charles was scared off, losing two of his best-friends and having to choose a side.

“Charles, i know you’re thinking of choosing a side but you don’t have to, pierre and you were friends way before i’ve met you. We can still be friends charles, i do not mind at the fact you’re best mates with my ex charles. If anything, i’m happy that you’re willing to be friends with me, so don’t think too much charles, you’re just gonna overthink your small brain”

both of you laughed, but you were different, for some reason the tears couldn’t stop coming down.

“Did pierre asked for it?” Charles asked, not believing his best mate had just broken the heart of his other best friend.

You shook your head and pointed at yourself, “ i did. I think he had a grasp of the situation and didn’t fight back, but it’s alright. It’s an experience for my first love” you’ve shrugged, while cleaning the mess you’ve made

Both of you have decided to not talk about pierre anymore and continue on both of your days together, with charles making sure you’re going to sleep with peace.

Months passed by, you’ve finally scored your first reporter job on the grid and it was the Monaco GP.

You had Lissie mentoring you and guiding you through everything, you knew Lissie through Lando and you’re glad for this because with out this opportunity you’ve wouldn’t be here as a reporter.

“We’re going to scuderia alphatauri team, y/n do you want me to take over?” Lissie asked you for the second time.

You gave her a smile and shook your head “Lissie it’s fine, i will be okay, i promise you.”

Lissie knew your past with the certain team member of scuderia alphatauri team and safe to say she wasn’t really happy with the personality of his but you’ve assured her that he wasn’t really a bad guy, maybe just a right person wrong timing?

What you didn’t notice was charles and pierre conversing and pierre eyes mainly focusing on you.

“Charles, you’ve never told me y/n would be here?”

carlos came and joined the conversation asking charles about your presence on the grid.

Charles was confused, why would you be here? You had decline the paddock passes he gave to you and so he followed carlos directions and saw you there right in-front of the camera interviewing George Russell and charles heart has never felt so full seeing your dream had been accomplished

Charles ignored the conversation with pierre and carlos and walked straight to you and waited for the interview to end to hug you.

“Surprise charles, i’m here, this time being paid!” You hugged back and stepped back

“I am so so proud of you, thanks Lissie for giving her this opportunity!” Charles smiled and thanked Lissie knowing how much the opportunity meant to y/n.

Lissie laughed it off and mumbled a no worries to him.

“Will you be interviewing us? Carlos and I? When will that be?”

“She’s not going to Charles, i’m sorry you’ll be seeing my face instead” Lissie broke off the news to him and laughed

Charles rolled his eyes jokingly, “for once, i thought i could get away from you, Lissie”

While Lissie, Charles and you were conversing, pierre, yuki and carlos made their way to the three of you.

“Hey y/n, long time no see” yuki greeted you

“Oh please, we met last sunday at the japanese restaurant, stop lying yuki!”

You knew the air was intense with charles and Lissie being protective of you around pierre and carlos with yuki having zero ideas of the backstory of both you and pierre parting.

“Hello Pierre, Hello Carlos! Fancy seeing both of you here too” you smiled.

“Well i fancy seeing you here, seeing you with radios and scripts attached to you is something i need to get used to looking at” Carlos touched the radio that was attached to your hip

“I’m proud of you, y/n” the sentence that would’ve broken down y/n if she wasn’t right in-front of her friends

“ oh shut up carlos, watch out for me more often in the future gps, don’t fall for me! and thank you pierre, couldn’t have done it without Lissie’s help of course!” Refusing to have the conversation mainly focusing on you, you shifted it to Lissie

After all of the catching up session, you’ve interviewed scuderia alphatauri and you’re thankful that it wasn’t as awkward as you’ve thought it’ll be. Once it was wrapped up, you excused yourself and pack things that were needed to be packed with Lissie.

Things were going smoothly for you for the weekend, avoiding pierre and focusing yourself on the task that was given. Interviews with you was widely loved by fans knowing that you’ve already formed a relationship with 20 of the drivers way before.

Soon after, Lissie and you were separated, you’ll be in charge of games and Lissie does most of the talking interviews. You were being sent to different gps than Lissie, though it bugs you off not being with Lissie, you still couldn’t be more thankful.

You’re finally at the Miami GP, this time with Lissie. God really wasn’t on your side today because, if anyone could have been stucked in a lift with you it has to be kika.

The woman that pierre had his eyes on while being in a relationship with you.

Kika knew of your existence but it takes two hands to clap so you did not really put the 100% blame on her because at the end of the day, pierre’s to be blamed too.

“Love the grey dress on you, y/n! you look really good in it” this shocked you, because this was your ever first conversation with kika herself.

you coughed and thanked her while complementing her outfit too, not really your style but for the sake of being kind, why not…? right?

“I didn’t know about you and pierre” she continued, you were really pissed off at the fact why has no one come to rescue me and her.

you really did not want to have this conversation especially after it took you almost 7 months to fully moved on.

“No worries, old story. Pierre’s much happier with you,yes?” You told her off while taking a seat on the lift floor.

she sat beside you.

“He’s not over it yet y/n, at night when i can’t find him next to the bed with me, he’s in the kitchen scrolling through pictures of you both, i’ve caught him listening to the playlist both of you’ve made too. I don’t blame him y/n, i’m sorry for telling you.”

“Kika….” you were stunned, in the 7 months it took you multiple shifts, late night studying to get rid of pierre on your mind only for it to come back right here right now

“I know you’re much more happier now y/n, but pierre was much happy with you than with me. I’ve noticed during the interview you did with him and yuki, I think that was a sign, you know? He doesn’t call me cherie, because it reminded him of you”

“kika, this is too much for me, let’s just be silent yeah?”

All you ever wanna do right now, is to get back to your hotel room and cry your lungs out

5 mins later, you hear the elevator door open and ding, and there stood in-front of you was the man of honour himself.

“Hey love, you okay?” You thought he went to kika and that was what confirmed it for you until you realised he was in-front of you.

“Pierre….? Kika’s there” you sound confused and pointed to kika

a/n : that’s all!!!!!! i hope you like part one, will post part 2 ASAP! pictures are there too let yall imagine the outfits etc!

#pierre gasly angst #pierre gasly #pierre gasly x y/n #pierre gasly x you #pierre gasly x reader #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc fluff #pierre gasly oneshot #f1 x you #f1 fandom #f1 x y/n #f1 reader

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ashtreme · 11 months

Text

Alex Turner - You’re Losing Me

Pairing : Alex Turner x (she/her)Reader Word Count : 2.2k Warning : Nothing I guess, just angst. Synopsis : He never looks into the small cracks, always only noticing that something was amiss when the dam has broken, letting the tsunami sweep clean everything on its way. Notes : Inspired by You’re Losing Me by Taylor Swift. I recommend listening to it while reading. This is my first Alex fic. Please be kind.

youtube

Laying next to Alex has always been something she's dearly fond of. To listen to his heartbeat, tracing the lines of his tattoos, planting kisses to his beautiful skin and making him smile from the gesture. She loves it when the sun peeks through the window, making his brown eyes to look a few degrees lighter, as if they were a pool of honey. She loves everything about him. She loves Alex.

But she couldn't ignore the growing space between them. How the butterflies seem to have died down, hiding in their caves and never coming out again. His touches don't set her skin ablaze anymore. His kisses feel as if they were done out of habit, not really a form of communication. Everything that used to be the foundation of her ever so perfect happy ending started to crack, making the pillars of her fantasy to crumble.

“I don't understand.” Alex says, frowning.

Of course he doesn't. Alex was never great at these things. He never looks into the small cracks, always only noticing that something was amiss when the dam has broken, letting the tsunami sweep clean everything on its way.

“I know you don't.”

Alex pulls her close, embracing her tightly as if he's trying to cement her back to the ground. But hugs could only work one too many times until the earthquake hit harder, shattering everything that was already fragile in the first place.

She buries her face to his chest. Trying to block her vision from the light that is starting to find its way through the curtains. Her flat was located on the better side of town, making the lighting to be brilliant throughout the day, hence why they prefer to spend their time more on her place instead of his. But lately she's been wondering if she would like this room the same if the light was gone. Because it feels like her life is getting dimmer and dimmer each day.

And it's only a matter of time until the time's up.

She's tried to communicate all her worries, to try and make him understand about how things aren't really fine between them. That the flame is slowly dying. The wind is blowing strong at them and it feels like she's the only one trying to keep the fire alive. Even when it occasionally burns her.

“Don't overthink it,” Alex whispers to her ears “We'll find the way out.”

How? She wanted to ask. How could they find a way to fix it if he doesn't even seem to understand the problem? How would they work it out if he wouldn't even try to understand her troubles? How will they find the way out when he doesn't even know the void they're being stuck in?

“We'll make this work somehow.” He says again.

She wasn't sure if those affirmative words were for her or for himself, but she knew that the uncertainty in his tone weighs more than the meaning of the words. The bitter taste on her tongue was starting to be overwhelming. They're losing each other.

—-

Breakfast was dreadful. Her eyes were glued on him, waiting impatiently to have him break the silence. Her flat used to be filled with their chatter, cries of laughter over his lame jokes. Now the walls only echo the sound of records he plays before digging into his bowl of cereal. He hardly looks up to her. Only doing it when he needed to grab the milk or to check on his phone. Which only happens about twice in the course of 30 minutes.

She's tried to bring the light back to this place. To ask him questions or talk about what used to interest him most, yet none seem to work their charm as they used to. It was as if he's lost all interest. As if she was an overplayed song he's ready to skip from.

“So what are your plans today?” She finally asks, defeated to the realisation that he won't be initiating anything “Anything other than recording?”

Alex pursed his lips, shaking his head, “I don't think so.”

And then silence fell once more.

She lets out a sigh before standing up and heading to the sink. She could see him finally looking up, watching her walk away from the reflection of the windows, but she was tired of trying. They've kicked the day off with a sour start, she wouldn't want to burst and make it any worse than it already is.

Turning the tap, she begins to clean their dirty dishes. She could hear him walking closer. His pair of hands find their way around her waist as he rests his head to her shoulders. She hates it. The way he always seems to know how to calm the time bomb and add just another hour before it finally implodes. How he always seems to know the spell to cast the dark cloud away for the day, before a thunderstorm struck at night. How he always seems to know how to dust their problems under the rug for a while longer.

“Are you alright?” Alex whispers in between his hums to the song playing in the background.

She nods, closing her eyes as she tries to drown herself in the moment.

“Hey,” He says, turning the tap off and making her face him. He places her hands on her cheeks, gently cupping them before planting a gentle kiss to her lips “I love you.”

Do you really? Her eyes were staring back at him, trying to find that passion that used to bleed right through. Alex's expression was gentle, smiling at her softly and God just how beautiful and lovely he is right now. It was hard for her to tell if the genuine affection is finally back or was she just blinded by his beauty.

So she smiles halfheartedly, caving into his magnetism once more, “I love you.”

“That's the smile I so missed about.” He grins “I'll see you tonight, yeah?”

She replies with a nod. Watching him grab his brown satchel before heading out, blowing her a kiss as he closes the door. Somehow the flat doesn't feel any more silent than when he was still here.

—-

The table was filled with familiar faces. People she hasn't seen in a while; Alex's friends. They've always been such pleasant company, involving her in every conversation and jokes, yet it's rather ironic now to feel like she could connect with these people more than with the man that sleeps next to her at night.

He was gone the moment they stepped in the bar. Swallowed by the ocean of people, conversing with strangers she's never seen before in her life. The air feels suffocating somehow. She thought that the space between them was only felt at home, where no one else was around and able to see it, but now sitting next to an empty spot where he should be present feels like a hard slap to the cheek. The person who was always attached to her like a bee, the person who could never stop his hands to not hold hers, the person who could never stop humming romantic lyrics to her ears is now gone. Occupied by God knows what or who.

“Have you seen Alex?” She asks Matt who only just got back from the dance floor, taking the empty seat at the table.

The boy frowns, shaking his head, “No, I thought he was here.”

“He hasn't been here since we've arrived.” She says, her anger seeping through “Do you have any idea where he is?”

“Sorry, Love, I haven't seen him yet.”

Dissatisfied with his answer, she stood from her seat to go find Alex herself. Her temper was rising. Ignoring her presence within the walls of her flat was one thing, but to invite her for a night out only to neglect her and disappear entirely was just plain cruel. Sure she enjoys her time with his friends, but she wasn't here for them. She was here for him.

The bar was her first starting point. She scans the place where she last saw him, hoping to find the trace of where he might have gone to but the place was dimly lit and night was falling fast, making the establishment to be more crowded. Finding him would be a little more strugglesome now.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

She turns to the source of voice. A man who doesn't look much older than her stood with a smile. The stranger was leaning on the bar stool. He was decently dressed. Nothing about him triggers her alarm but no matter how kind he is or how charming he tries to present himself, she would never be interested in his offer.

“I have a boyfriend.” She says as she looks away, scanning through the crowd once more.

“Well, that's a shame.” He says as he gulps his glass of scotch “Where is he?”

“If I knew, I wouldn't be standing here now, would I?”

The stranger laughs, finding her annoyed words to be entertaining.

She ignores the stranger's response with an annoyed rolling of eyes, turning to her right where her eyes finally meet his. His disapproving knitted brows were visible. Alex was never the jealous type but he does have his moments and she knew that tonight was just one of her lucky nights.

She walks to him, looking straight at him with her head held high. He might have his take about the argument that she's certain would rise in a matter of minutes, but she's loaded with one too many troubles of her own. A big fight might actually glue them back together or perhaps, crush them entirely, but it was time for them to stop running in circles. It was time for them to face their problems.

“Can we talk?”

Alex nods, gesturing to her to lead the way.

Walking out of the bar and into a much quieter hallway, she folds her hands in front of her chest before turning to see him. His expression was unreadable. Hands buried deep in his pockets as if he's ready to brace the upcoming storm.

“So,” She begins.

“So.” He replies.

“Where have you been?” She asks, tone filled with frustration “You left me right after we got here.”

Alex shrugs, “I was just chatting to people.”

“And you didn't care to tell me or bring me with you?”

“I didn't think that it was necessary.” He reasoned, completely unaware of the sting it caused to her heart “Besides, it looks like you didn't really need my company.”

Her brows furrow in vexation, “What's that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.” He sighs, once again taking the easy way out and brushing everything away “Look, can we just go back? I need to drink.”

The air was thick around them. It has been for a while and she's been trying to ignore it for as long as she could, but her lungs have finally collapsed. Her fortress could no longer hold the endless painful strikes. Her grip on him has finally been released, leaving a red bleeding wound on the place where his name was carved on.

“What are we doing, Alex?”

The fear in his eyes was evident but he tried his best to conceal it with a nervous laughter, “What do you mean?”

She remained quiet this time. Her chest feels tight. Just how long did he think they could keep this? How long will this ballad last? How long was she supposed to bear all these quakes to her tottering heart? The way out he promised was never found. Perhaps, they never truly looked for it. Already given up to the void that has swallowed them for God knows how long.

“Love, please,” Alex begs, his eyes pleading “Let's just get back inside.”

“Why won't you do something?” She asks again with beads of tears on her lashes “Why won't you say something?”

He remains quiet, face turning pale as he could see the end coming close.

“Why won't you lose something? Risk something? Choose something? Anything?” She asks, her sobs were getting in her words “I've got nothing to believe in, Alex. Not anymore.”

“Love—”

“Alex,” She cuts, shaking her head with a pained smile “It's not working. Stop lying to yourself.”

The fear finally plagued his expression. For the first time after what seems to be forever, she could see the genuine love radiating from his eyes. The gentle gaze and the warm affection that used to shower her everyday. But tonight they were accompanied with regret and guilt. As if he's finally realised that they've gone past the point to revive their relationship.

You don't know what you've got until it's gone.

“I tried,” Alex chokes “I really did.”

She nods, trying her best to stop her pouring tears, “I know.”

#alex turner #alex turner x reader #alex turner x you #alex turner x oc #alex turner x y/n #alex turner fanfic #alex turner fanfiction #alex turner scenario #alex turner imagine #alex turner angst

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bitchinbarzal · 2 years

Text

New York | J.Hughes

part two of vancouver

Don’t know what this is, I may re-write

“Silly text and said the jackets are getting into town a couple days before the game next week, his girlfriends playing at the garden if you wanna go?” Ty shouted through the house.

“Yeah sure man, whatever!”

Ty had been trying to do things with Jack to keep his mind off you. He was a good friend, trying so hard but nothing worked when Jack was so caught up.

When the day came to go to the concert Jack regretted agreeing to it in the first place. He didn’t have the social battery for this.

“Come on man, smile. It’ll be fun”

“Yeah, Yeah”

Cole hadn’t stopped gushing over Tate and how nervous she has been for this performance, Jack just blocked it out. He didn’t intend to be rude but he simply didn’t want to be there.

The lights dimmed and screams erupted as Tate appeared on the stage.

“Hey everyone thank you for coming out tonight! I wanted to personally come on here to introduce my support act! I don’t doubt you’ve heard her already and adore her sound as much as I do. So please let’s hear it for Y/N”

For the second time Jack felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Ty turned to him “Man I didn’t know-“

“It’s fine” he snapped, watching as you walked into his view.

He hadn’t seen you since that day in his apartment.

You hadn’t really changed but you had changed everything all at the same time.

That song that he knew all too well started. He had listened to it so many times.

Jack never went out with everyone else after the show, excusing himself to go home. Nobody questioned it anymore, just being grateful that they managed to get him out in the first place.

You hadn’t gone out either, opting to go back to your hotel room with Netflix on.

Your phone was sitting beside you on the bed taunting you to text, you tried desperately not to give in to the urge to reach out. Your heart gave in, snatching the phone up and opening iMessage.

Jack was almost asleep when his phone went off, reaching out blindly to open the phone, sitting up and blinking wildly when he saw your name.

i saw you tonight.

He read the message over and over again as if it wasn’t just four words.

silly invited us. nice song btw

He immediately regretted hitting send, overthinking if the message was too snappy and rude, it was too late to delete it.

The three dots on your side appeared and disappeared over and over causing Jack’s heart to beat faster and faster.

thanks, wrote it about this guy I love or whatever.

Jack stared at the message. love.

I think that guy misses you or whatever.

… goodnight jack.

Jack kept thinking back to your conversation the next day, running it back at every chance he had.

During practice, getting ready for the game, even in the locker room. You truly hadn’t left his mind since the moment he saw you again.

He tried to shake the thoughts off during the game, trying to throw himself into it and play as best he could.

Jack was on the bench watching the jumbotron as it panned over excited fans until it stopped on a familiar jersey. It was his jersey, his first Devil’s jersey.

You’d taken it one night he was playing away, wanting to wear some merch but not having anything in Michigan accept the jersey he’d left before he moved.

You smiled and waved to the camera, seeing yourself on the big screen. Jack couldn’t help but smile too. It all felt right.

Game ended with a win, Jack was on a high right now feeling better than he had all year.

He never saw you, deflating him slightly after the game. He’d hoped to find you outside the locker room or in the foyer. No luck.

He’s gone home alone with Ty finally getting a car he’d driven himself but offered to take Dawson home first.

So being the only one home supposedly it gave Jack quite a shock to find someone infront of the apartment.

He could see his surname plastered across the persons back and it didn’t take a genius to work out who it was.

“I never thought I’d see you here again”

You spun around to the source of the voice, a smile softly playing on your lips.

“Yeah, um- neither did I”

Jack awkwardly played with his hands “What are you doing here?”

“I just- does he miss me?”

“Huh?”

“Does that guy really miss me?” You asked again, Jack smirked when he question finally registered.

He nodded slowly “So much”

You took in a deep breath “I miss him too”

There was a single beat of silence before you lunges forward into Jack and he did too, holding onto one another and kissing like your life depended on it.

Pulling away you looked up at him and smiled “God I love you”

“My names Jack babe, not god”

The Hughes’ were ecstatic to hear you were back together again as was Ty who was just grateful his roommate wasn’t going to be so angry all the time.

You’d done long distance again with your work you had to but you made strict rules of no working in the off-season so your album was produced by then.

So a year on you were sat with him now on the Fourth of July with your friends. The speaker played the local radio while you two cuddled up on a chair.

“And now we have a new chart entry from Y/N Y/L/N, this is her first song since the number one hit vancouver and we’re sticking with the geographical theme with her new hit - New York”

The song was an open love letter to Jack, detailing everything you’d gone through. You could feel him hold you tighter throughout.

When the song was close to finished you felt him lean into your ear and whisper “I love you but you gotta stop writing songs about me”

You chuckled “But you’re my muse baby”

“I’ll be your muse forever just stay writing love songs ok?”

“Got it, happy songs only you just can’t make me sad”

He looked so serious when he replied “I’ll never ever make you sad again”

#nhl imagine #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #new jersey devils imagine

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twisted-lover-boys · 2 years

Note

Can we see Jack, Floyd, Jade, Sebek and Malleus (the tall bois basically-) with a reader (preferably male bit gn is ok) who is a dragon? Maybe the readers physical features are somewhat similar to dvalin from genshin (I would place a pic but i would rather go anonymous)

im not sure if you know genshin so maybe you can try searching a human version of dvalin or something-

sorry if this seems rude :(

Thank you in advance!

A Dvalin-Like Boyfriend

{not proof-read}

Oh yeah no I used to play it but I grew out of it after a while. Didn’t even make it to Lyuie lol. The gacha rates and the story/gameplay just weren’t for me y’know?

I wrote it more like that the reader is the dragon Dvalin so I hope that’s okay. Also very tiny angst with mentions of Venti and Cecelia flowers being replaced for white lilies since they look the same. Also went really deep into Malleus and Sebek so heads up I guess

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🐺🦈🐬⚡️🐲 🐺🦈🐬⚡️🐲 🐺🦈🐬⚡️🐲

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Jack is interested in you, especially since he’s never seen a dragon up close

Your appearance is very different to that of beastmen so he’s very curious about you and your abilities

If you allow it, he likes touching your wings or rubbing your horns and watching you melt

I feel that you’re very good with wind magic so he’d like seeing you perform little tricks like it’s nothing

When you ask him to braid your hair he’s more than happy to do so since he braids his younger sister’s hair a lot

You’re very similar in your fascination with plants, but you seem very interested in the white lilies. He grew a few in a small pot and gave it to you for a gift and he’s never seen you smile so big

He’s heard you humming songs that he’s never heard of and he can hear the slight sadness in your voice so when he asked you just said “It’s something an old friend of mine used to sing to me” At that, he knew you didn’t want to talk about it

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Floyd thinks you’re really fun since you’re very different from the other minnows he knows

He likes touching your horns and wings he has no sense of personal space but when you allow him that luxury he’s somehow in a better mood than before

He likes using his unique magic on your own wind magic and seeing where it goes or who it hits

Floyd isn’t good at braiding hair but he’ll try for you please compliment him

He noticed you like white lilies so he literally went to the botanical garden and uprooted a few. It was worth it to see your smile

When he hears you humming, he likes listening to you. Sometimes he’ll come up and wrap his arms around you to listen better

It may not seem like it but Floyd is very in touch with emotions and he can hear the melancholy in your humming so when he asks and you say “Oh. It reminds me of a dear friend I once had” he knows you don’t want to say anymore

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Jade, like his twin, is very interested in you since your different from the other students he’s seen

He knows about personal space so he won’t touch your horns or wings without your permission

When you do though, he’s very happy he’s just great at hiding it

He’s very adept in his own magic so he can appreciate your skill in wind magic

Jade is a little better at braiding hair but not perfect so if you ask him his work will be decent

He once asked what your favorite type of plant was and you responded with white lilies. He gave you a small terrarium with white lilies in it and your smile made him go blind it was so bright—

He’s very interested in the songs you hum to yourself. Sometimes he likes to lean on you and compliment your singing and hearing you stutter

One time he asked where you learned or heard those song from and when you said “I learned them from an old friend I was close with” he knew you didn’t want to talk

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Sebek, being half fae himself, knows a lot about him and his kind but you are a mystery to him

You’re not a fae but you’re also not from this world? My you’ve piqued his interest a lot

He understands the intimacy of your horns and wings and won’t touch them without explicit permission. When you say it’s okay for him to touch them, he’s blushing like crazy

He loves watching you show off your wind magic flawlessly to others. It’s a major pride boost to have a powerful boyfriend

He knows how to braid. End of story. He lives in Briar Valley so of course he knows how to braid and weave so if you ask, he will braid your hair with pride! You will be the most handsome man in NRC with your perfect braid!

He had heard from one of your friends that you like white lilies so he got you white lily flower crown that will never wither. He likes seeing you wear it, which seems to be almost every day! It fills him with pride

Sebek was never one for music but he loves the melodies you sing. He asked where you learned them but you said “An old friend who I used to be close to taught me those songs” Sebek sometimes knows when to respect privacy

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Malleus is very similar to you, traits and all so he’s glad he has a boyfriend very similar to him

He loves it when you rub his horns and he likes to return the gesture tenfold since it’s an intimate gesture for dragon fae

Of course he’s the one of the strongest mages in NRC so he loves watching you show your wind magic and responding with his own. He enjoys your laughter

Again, since he’s fae, he knows how to braid and weave so he insists on braiding your hair and likes to leave litter surprises in them like flowers

During one of your late night walks, he noticed you staring at a bunch of white lilies. Of course he picked them for you but after that he made it a point to grow white lilies in your dorm and around Diasomnia. He didn’t care if the dark vibe of the dorm was thrown off, anything for his boyfriend to smile

Malleus isn’t good at singing himself but I feel that he loves music and your humming is no exception

He’s lived for a long time and he hasn’t heard the songs that you sing to him. One day he asked you but you replied with “An old friend taught me those songs a long time ago” so he didn’t bring it up again

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🐺🦈🐬⚡️🐲 🐺🦈🐬⚡️🐲 🐺🦈🐬⚡️🐲

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#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland x male reader #twst #twst x male reader #Savanaclaw #Octavinelle #Diasomnia #jack howl #jack howl x male reader #floyd leech #floyd leech x male reader #jade leech #jade leech x male reader #sebek zigvolt #sebek zigvolt x male reader #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x male reader

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minkkumaz · 9 months

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I'M JUST YOUR PROBLEM

after blowing you off, you never thought that things between you and kyungmin would be the same. and it didn't, he was your enemy. when finally getting the chance to confront him about all the shit he's done, why does it make you want want to try making up with him?

DISTANT LANDS AND OTHER ADVENTURES series

PAIRING cho kyungmin x fem!reader WC 2.6k TAGS enemies to lovers trope. forced proximity trope. school au. angst/fluff. cussing. kissing. making up. bsf minho. like one kys joke. OMI NOTE marceline songs hit like ten times different so writing this literally had me pumped. i've never done forced proximity before but it's extremely fitting.

cho kyungmin was quite literally the spawn of satan, your sworn enemy til the day you’d die. the face that you fell for ended up being the face that also left you stranded like an idiot. when you couldn’t cry anymore and your eyes felt puffy and numb, you turned to hate.

classes the following week became even more difficult to believe, as you felt small in comparison to his lingering presence. there was a possibility that maybe he forgot about the first date he planned, things happen and that was something you were okay with.

but you weren’t expecting him to act like nothing happened, act like he didn’t spend countless nights laughing over the phone like he was yours. you felt like a mere ghost, parading through his life like a fucking play toy. because from your perspective, you were just his problem.

“i’m going to bury you in the ground, kyungmin.” you sobbed, anger seething through your teeth.

the expression on his face was blank, though you almost swore he let down his guard for a second seeing you hold back hot tears. but you didn’t want pity, you wanted closure. a reason why the idea of your existence dropped from his earth.

no understanding, no communication, not a single dust particle of love behind his dark eyes. that day marked a countdown of hating him and everything that involved him. an ill circumstance that landed him in the most broken spots of your heart.

he understood your feelings in a way that he felt the need to reflect them. so what was once a one - sided hatred became a mutually agreed upon alliance against one another. if anything, this made you more upset. what did you do to end up on his black - list?

day eighty - five of loathing cho kyungmin, and school became insufferable around him. the recent weather forecast had been wearisome, leaving you wanting nothing more than to kick back at home and sleep for the remainder of your life.

the court yard was always busiest during lunch hours, yet the rustle and bustle of school life kept you awake. students scattered about in their cliques, chatting about recent homework assignments or bothersome teachers. you poked at your food with your chopsticks since you didn’t have much of an appetite.

“are you okay, y/n? you’re not eating any of your food and i swear i heard your stomach grumbling during the quiz.” minho asked, stealing a piece of kimchi off your plate and dropping it in his mouth.

“not really, i don’t know. i’m just a little frustrated with everything right now.” you groan in response, setting down your utensil to bury your face in your hands.

“let me guess, does this have something to do with him?” he raises one of his eyebrows as you nod in annoyance.

“dude, i overheard haemin complaining that his only friend,” you air quoted, “was being transferred into my p.e. period. and we both know exactly who he was talking about.”

“that’s rough, have you talked to jaeyun about it? since he’s one of the sports captains, he could probably tell you for sure if that’s what you’re worried about.” he suggests.

“haemin and kyungmin are practically inseparable. even when i liked kyungmin, he was honestly kind of hesitant talking to me without him around. so i know for a fact i’m going to see his stupid face tomorrow.” you ramble, letting out a defeated exhale.

“listen, you’ll be perfectly fine. don’t let him work you up like that, he doesn’t deserve the satisfaction, okay?” he advised you, patting your shoulder for comfort.

“minho, he shouldn’t even need satisfaction in the first place! kyungmin left me at a park. in the rain.” you emphasize the last bit, “i’m the only one that deserves to hate him.”

“i know, and it sucks. but i’ve heard this story like a million times, y/n. we need to get you some kind of therapy sessions if you’re going to keep at it like this.”

“literally choke.”

“kidding! i’m kidding. don’t do that to me please and thank you.” he laughed lightly, “but seriously, you’ll be okay. you always are. plus i’m just a phone call away if you need me to curse him over the phone or something, i don’t know.”

“you do too much for me minho. don’t worry, i know you just want to help me, thank you. i’ll try to figure it out i guess.” you exaggerate a sigh, making minho lean over to give you a friendly hug.

“now, eat your food before i feed the scraps to the birds on our way to next period.” he threatens, pointing a chopstick at your forehead.

after letting out all of your problems like word vomit, you were finally able to swallow down some of your meal. minho, your respective best friend had heard almost all of your hell stories about wanting to rip off kyungmin’s head. it was almost like he experienced the whole thing with you; or maybe the idea of him drenched down in a casual dress was a funny thing to imagine.

lunch passed by quickly, as did the rest of the school day. you took notes, turned in assignments, complained minho’s ear off once more, and suddenly the final bell rang meaning you could finally return home. in between all of this, you somehow forgot about the boy in your aching heart.

your steps pattered against the pavement when a feeling of dread washed over you. why did it feel like your world was going to shatter at school tomorrow? fallen leaves crushed underneath your shoes, resembling how scattered your mind felt.

day eighty - six of loathing kyungmin and every bone in your body felt like it was going to give out and abandon you as a pile of fleshy mush. you and your classmates gathered in the field wearing your p.e. uniforms, waiting for your coach to come out with the proper equipment.

kyungmin was only a couple people away from you and it already gave you an incomprehensible headache. just feeling his presence near you sent shivers down your spine, and you knew he could care less about whether you were there or not.

was it immature to still be hung up on what happened between the two of you even after almost three months?

you couldn’t stomach your stress right now, attempting to take deep breaths to soothe yourself. the cold air helped slightly; you became thankful for the dreary weather and couple raindrops that fell from the sky.

“alright everyone, it seems to be sprinkling a bit, but we’ll pass around the football for now. let’s just hope the rain doesn’t get too intense.” your coach explains, “pair up with the person next to you and come grab a ball.”

“i can go get the ball.” you offer the girl next to you before walking over to the net full of footballs.

reaching your hand into the bag, you press a finger into each one, making sure you grab one that isn’t too flat nor too full of air. you’re searching for a couple seconds, before another hand bumps into yours.

“oh, i’m sorry–” looking up to apologize, you find yourself face to face with kyungmin. you take back your hand quickly.

“don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault your hand was in the way.” he smiles almost mockingly.

“whatever.” you mumble, pulling away to let him grab what he needs first although there were two bags.

while you wait, more droplets of water pattered against your skin, becoming slightly more frequent. you look over to your coach talking to another teacher, darting his gaze up from the sky and to his co - worker. he blows his whistle suddenly, as everyone looks over in his direction.

“seems like the rain is just going to get worse from here.�� he announces before pointing at you and kyungmin, “both of you go put the equipment away, the rest of us will head back into the gym and run some laps around the courts for the rest of the period.

there was a chorus of disappointed murmurs from your classmates, before they all dropped the footballs they were able to grab. this left you and kyungmin alone, making your anxiety sky - rocket. against your will, you grab one of the bags and start towards the shed.

the sound of shoes against squishy grass tell you that kyungmin is following closely behind. you speed up with half of your intentions to get away from him and the other half to escape from the drowning rain.

once you get under the awning of the equipment shed, you slide open the already half - open door to let yourself in. there’s an assortment of different sports balls and rackets, all somewhat organized. kyungmin closes the door behind the both of you unknowingly while you find a spot to put away the footballs.

dropping down the bag in silence, you leave him to do the same and head out. when you twisted the door knob, it felt almost jammed. turning it harder and harder, it was deemed useless, making you panic.

“hello? hello!” you fidget with the door, practically throwing yourself against it in hopes it will magically open.

“did we get locked inside?” the boy behind you questions, making you turn around in disbelief.

“no actually, i’m just communicating with god on the other side. yes it’s locked!” you argued, “why did you close it behind you?”

“i didn’t know it wasn’t supposed to be closed!” he defended himself.

“oh my gosh i think i’m going to fucking faint if i have to be here with you for who knows how long.” you start pacing around the shed.

“i’m right here, you know.”

“do you want me to treat you like a princess or something? is that what you want me to do?” you tell him, “we’re not exactly on good terms you know.”

“you don’t have to freak out about it, someone will come find us eventually.” he shrugs.

“please tell me this is a nightmare.” you mutter under your breath.

“it’s pretty real, i don’t know.” he says, sitting down on the floor.

“oh my god i’m not asking you, kyungmin.”

“this isn’t fun for me either, you know. you don’t have to pretend like you’re the only one in distress here.” he mumbles.

“am i that much of an inconvenience to you? last time i checked there’s no reason for you to be mad at me.” you scoff, taking your own seat on the floor.

“i never said you were an inconvenience to me, i just don’t really want to be trapped in a sweaty equipment shed with the smell of leather like.. everywhere.” he explains casually, picking up a tennis ball.

you curl your knees into your body, leaning your head back against the wall, “yeah, right.”

“do i really stress you out that much?” he asks you out of nowhere.

“yes.” you respond blatantly.

“why?”

“i shouldn’t have to justify what i do. i have nothing to prove, kyungmin. you just do.” you claimed, “and i haven’t even got a proper explanation or apology yet.”

tension became thick in the air, palpable enough to be cut with even the dullest knife. being in the same room with someone you swore was your most hated person made your face heat up. yet you still wrapped your arms around yourself in an attempt to feel less cold.

the sound of a tennis ball being thrown against the wall and bouncing back filled your ears, though you weren’t in a circumstance to complain. anything was better than sitting in silence for who knows how long.

minutes went by with no sign of a teacher coming to break the two of you free. it wouldn’t be long before the bell rang for the next period, leaving you feeling hopeless. the rain only seemed to get heavier outside.

being forced in proximity with kyungmin made you less angry in a way. every second that ticked by messed with your head, inching to get come kind of answer out of him. though in a way, it made you miss him more. he’d never leave class without you by his side, getting you juices from the vending machine, holding your hand tightly when you were nervous for a test.

“you’re kind of unbelievable, you know.” you spoke.

“what is that supposed to mean?” he glanced over to you curiously.

“that night. you said you’d take me on a walk through the park after we stopped to get food. but you never showed up to the restaurant, so i assumed you’d be waiting for me there.” you told him, feeling tinges of sadness rather than hate, “i waited on a bench for an hour before it started pouring. you never showed up.”

“you waited in the rain..?” he stammered slightly.

“i shouldn’t have to be the one that makes up with you.” you whisper, “but why do i want to?”

“y/n..” your name falls from his lips like honey.

he scoots himself closer to you until your shoulders are barely touching, his sudden appearance making you flinch. you were still tense next to him as he started to speak.

“i’m so sorry for being so mean to you. for ignoring you, pretending like nothing happened between us when everything happened.” he apologized, “you don’t have anything to apologize for. my mind was so crowded that night. i wasn’t sure if i was ready to love someone like you.”

“then why didn’t you tell me anything, kyungmin? you hurt me.” you began to tear up.

“i didn't know how.. can you tell i’ve never done this before? confronting my feelings while trying to convince myself that you wouldn't break things off with me if i wasn't ready. but listening to my head didn't get us anywhere either.” he confessed, “i was really intimidated when you came up to me the day after, and i wasn’t sure what to do. so i did nothing. it’s a terrible excuse, really.

“you fucked up. i absolutely hated you for standing me up like that..”

“you had every right to hate me. so i don’t know why i thought it was a good idea to hate you back. now that i’m looking back, it was immature. i missed so much time with you because i didn’t have a taste of what it was like for someone like you to love me back.”

“kyungmin, i don’t know what to say i–”

“let me fix this, please?” he moves your head by your chin, turning you to face him directly.

“you can try..” you murmured, watching his stare fixate from your eyes to your lips.

closing the gap, he enveloped you in a kiss that almost felt criminal considering every feeling you’ve had for him in the past three months has been hate. but he was trying. you’d never forget the pain he caused you, but part of you could forgive him.

it was soft, and he held you oh so gently against his lips. his hand trailed around your waist, pulling you closer into him. could this be the beginning of something different between you and him? as he pulled away, he couldn’t help but show a sad smile on his face.

“y/n, can i take you out on a proper date this time..?”

“i’ll see if minho lets me first after all the shit i talked to him about you.” you laugh, looking at his pretty pink tinted face.

“okay, that makes sense, i kind of deserved it. if it makes you feel any better, i’ll pick you up so you don’t have to worry!” he suggests.

“what if i stand you up by not being at my house, hm?”

“then i’ll wait on your porch in the rain for you until you show up.”

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