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hamliet · 2 years

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Wrote this when the leak happened, never posted it, am currently in such a tearful rage that anything I wrote now would be riddled with expletives so here goes the calmer version. FYI, it's written specifically for "pro life" people, like the community I grew up in, attempting to meet them where they're at and persuade them to open their mindset. Also, because, as I said, I'm currently a ball of rage, you might not want to comment on this if you disagree because there's a pretty strong chance I'll go off and say something I will regret. Just warning ya. I'm in a mood to overturn some tables.

So as someone who is pro-choice because I'm pro-life... the news enrages and distresses me. I grew up very pro-life (oh the fundamentalist cult life) and changed my views over time. I'd like to propose that the whole "does life begin early in pregnancy or not" doesn't actually have any relevance to this debate.

No one should ever be able to force another person to donate an organ to keep someone else alive. Literally when people are DEAD, their families have the right to refuse organ donation.

It's about bodily autonomy.

I think if there was a person who was told they were a match for a child who needed a kidney or else the child would die, we might feel they *should* donate, but who is comfortable with saying they legally must be required to do so? What about extenuating circumstances? Would you want to not have a choice if it were you? What if that matched person was also a child, or had a high-risk family history, or was terrified and then happened to be one of the few people who die during a routine procedure? Because it does happen, albeit rarely (to consider the metaphor, birth is statistically riskier, medically speaking, than abortion--which isn't to say abortion has no risks because, like any medical procedure, it does. But the risks aren't equal).

My point is that moral consideration is a separate concept that surely influences legislation (or like, should), but not a 1=1 to legal obligation. Legal obligation cannot account for exceptions and rare cases, because life is way more complex than any legislation could ever capture. That's why ethics and morality exist as fields of study. That is why philosophy exists.

The ironic thing is I'm more like... I more err on the side of caution and lean towards thinking life begins earlier rather than later. Not conception, my existence as an identical twin kind of debunks that, but I think there's a reasonable case for implementation (at least, it can't be fully debunked--though the concept of vanishing twins does challenge it). But, I don't think you can force someone, and I don't think anyone, not even the most empathetic of doctors (and my experience with doctors tells me most aren't empathetic, lol), is qualified to make that decision for another person.

I also think that, for me personally, I would never choose to have an early abortion with the exception of the same reason I would choose a late-term one: if a child was not going to survive. And I'd mourn them. Every loving mother should have the right to make a choice to turn off life support if there's no hope. I've seen miracles irl, I believe in them, and I would hope, but when it comes to a certain point... I also have seen agonizing situations where it's just better not to hook people up to tubes for years and years, waiting for a miracle, and provide palliative care instead. Again, I don't think this should be a legal requirement; loved ones each have the right to make these choices for those who cannot make choices. Why would you strip this away from someone?

Indeed, I'd say the ethical choice in many (again, exceptions exist) cases is to donate turn off life support and donate organs to save others; an analogy would be to lose the child, mourn them, and give the mother her organs back instead of saddling her with medical debt, health risks that don't go away after 9 months (see the long-term effects of preeclampsia, which including a striking correlation with heart disease--like, up to FOUR TIMES more at risk for heart failure later in life, and twice as likely to suffer heart attacks). Why prolong her grief at having strangers ask her when she is due, when she knows she will give birth to a dead child? Isn't that cruel?

Furthermore, if this government wants to force people with uteruses to have kids, then for the love of God, stop charging tens of thousands of dollars to give birth and then get necessary follow-up medical care. Provide actual paid maternal leave, which isn't even controversial in most countries. Train your doctors to listen to our pain instead of dismissing us because we're just "so sensitive." Train people not to rape us or pressure us.

Oh wait, Justices Kavanaugh and Thomas are on the court. Like, regardless of where you stand, can we all agree it's a little screwed up that two men with histories of sexual harassment and/or assault get to make a choice over other people’s bodies? Because??? They already have tried to make those choices with some pretty damn bad intentions?? Hard for me to believe this isn't about hurting, humiliating, and even killing people with vaginas when two of them have resorted to sexual violence to control a body owned by a woman who did not want to sleep with them before. Neither of them have ever displayed integrity or repentance, despite claiming to be Christians. You disgrace my Lord's name with that. You take His name in vain. You are filthy men who can never stand for justice and can, frankly, rot in hell. Also, I'll believe you, yes you in particular Justice Alito, give a damn about protecting any child when you walk back your arguments for allowing police to in essence sexually assault ten-year-olds via an invasive strip search.

Now, idealism and reality, theory and practice. In life, our ideals (and religious beliefs) are lighthouses: they guide us through a rocky, stormy life. But they are not always able to be ideally implemented. You can't follow a straight path. That's just how life works. We continue to learn how to navigate closer and closer to these ideals, while also knowing that we're not going to reach it here. None of us are perfect, rocks exist, we look at waves and get distracted, others knock into us and jar us off course. We need to use what we have around us to stay afloat.

The reality also is that studies unequivocally demonstrate that policies such as access to birth control, proper education, access to healthcare, and access to maternal resources drastically reduce the rates of abortion. This is good. No one thinks abortion is a great thing to aspire to have (well, no one reasonable), but instead a choice that must be made as a result of the failure of other things along the way. If the pro-life movement actually cares about stopping mass murder of children, then prioritize that above all else. It's like Rahab lying to save the Israelites in Jericho: yeah, she lied, but she was called righteous for her intent. Also, I presume the whole "minor sin for the greater good" logic is what pro-life people are using the justify Justices Alito, Kavanaugh, Gorsuch, and Barrett lying under oath and committing perjury (an actual crime) by saying they considered Roe established law? Because those tapes exist; they did do that.

So, don't say compromising to save children has no place in your beliefs, because it does. And don't say they didn't lie because technicalities or semantics or whatever; the intent of those questions was clear, and there's a reason the oath includes the words "the whole truth and nothing but the truth." It was legally and morally a lie.

The pro-lifers (as said movement is primarily funded by evangelical American Christians) need to put their money where their mouth is and act as if this is what they really want to do, even if it means not living in an ideal world (because, sadly, we don't). Yeah, they don't want people having sex before marriage, but the reality is that--in church and out of it (percentages are the same)--most people do. So, advocate for birth control access (don't take it if you don't like!), medically accurate sex education (giving facts isn't gonna teach anything God doesn't already know), and support maternal healthcare. That will save the lives of children, which is most important, right? I, a pro-choice person, say it is. You can keep up your pro-abstinence advocacy while doing this, you know, because sexual activity is also a choice (or should be, because teaching consent matters).

Yet, the pro-life community distinctly does not do this. Why? Could it be that they don't actually believe a fetus is a life? Or could it be that they have other motivations? A mixture of the two?

Until the pro-life movement starts prioritizing practical compassion over self-righteousness, until they accept that they are not God and attempting to control others is more along the lines of the serpent in the Garden than Christ and thus go on to mix practicality with idealism, I can't believe they actually care about saving lives as much as they do punishing females who have sex (specifically who have sex not with them).

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realityshiftingandblogging · 3 years

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My opinion on something in this community.

Okay, I know I said I’m avoiding opinions but I need to get this out before I continue with today fjsbfjsnsk. AFTER THIS IM TAKING A MENTAL BREAK FKSDBFSBF

Tw: Mention of respawning, death, suicide, toxic behavior, cursing and slight mention of abuse.

Heads up before I start, I want to say I am someone who believes it is possible to shift permanently and I also believe your physical body, in no way, can be affected by shifting unless you mean trauma wise because you shifted to somewhere not so mentally friendly and so on. I may change my belief depending on whether it has enough backing or makes sense, logically, to me. So if you’re reading this when i’ve changed my views then you can go “heeeeyyyyy old you” and move on from this post lmao. Anyway here we go!

This "permanently shifting is respawning" BOTHERS ME SO MUCH. I, personally, want to shift permanently because I see no future here, I have no interest here, I am not in a good home situation, and that SHOULD BE valid. To associate people who want to live a better life and live out their dreams in a safer form with something that isn't on the communities best side is going to . . .

1. Spread misinformation on the definition of respawning

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Ahem, and before I move on let's look at the definition

Respawn: (of a character in a video game) reappear after having being killed.

This could also relate to reincarnation. Let's check that definition too.

Reincarnation: the rebirth of the soul in a new body.

See also "reincarnation, also know as rebirth or transmigration of a living being begins a new life in a different physical form or body. "

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2. Not only will it spread misinformation, those who hop on the "majority belief train" might spread hate towards those who really can't stand to be here.

⚠️ Permanent Shifting and Respawning are two different things. Respawning has no definite security that you will be in your DR, it's too risky. As for permanent shifting, you simply shift and stay. There is no harm to your body or anything and you can ALWAYS come back if you decide to, something respawners cannot do. Permanent Shifting and Respawning are two different things. Comparing those two is like saying shifting in general and Respawning are the same because they both involve leaving this reality. They arent, and you know it. Just because they both stay in their DR doesn't mean they are the same. If you disagree, I have an entire server and a lot of people to back me up that it is not the same. They all agree, it's two different categories. Permanent shifting isn't always permanent and you can come back, there's no harm to you or your body. Respawning isn't guaranteed, nor can you ever come back. There is a big difference. Stop clustering. I spoke with a respawner on Amino who said that Respawning is the disposal of the body AFTER shifting and ties are severed. It is not done by then consciously. Secondly in addition to that, permanent shifting means you can always come back if you change your mind and the ties with this reality is still there. There is a big difference here. ⚠️

People who see no future here are not cruel to their families. People who, at an early age, dreamed of being somewhere else other than 'home' are not cruel. People who want to see their comfort characters and stay there, consciously, are not cruel. It. Isn't. Wrong. It isn't disgusting. It isn't mean. It isn't "mentally ill." If you see it as wrong then tough luck buddy because I don't care. Unfollow me or block me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

ANOTHER THING THAT IS BOTHERING ME.

Those who shift permanently are not evil, cruel, or stupid. Nor are they harming their old reality/current reality body. And I do not want to hear the "you can't shift permanently without respawning" excuse. Yes, you can. Shifting your conscience has no time limit. It does not in any shape or form, in my mind, make sense logically that there is a time limit where your cr body, which shouldn't have control over you in another reality, just yeets you back.

Why does this community INSIST on just blocking respawners and giving them hate. I don't support it 100% right now, but what I'm saying is don't bash someone who needs your help?? Like I get the whole "I'm going to shift and my CR body will die right after I leave" is unsettling to a lot of people and many might be triggered by the topic. I get that. But ????? Y'all are TOXIC as hell to completely bash these people. (And if you haven’t then good for you ILY here’s a lolipop 💖🥺🍭.) Like??? Yes, you can verbally do that because it’s the internet. But should you, morally? In my opinion, no. If someone is saying they want to dispose of their body and you tell them they aren’t welcome to talk to you, then what the actually HELL.

( I get that someone randomly venting to you is frustrating and mentally draining which can cause worsened depression or a worsened mental state; always ask first before venting unless you need immediate help, kids. So to clarify, that’s not what I’m saying in this context. )

Don’t be a d*ck. Stop hating someone who may even need help. That’s TOXIC AS FUCK. I don’t CARE if you think it’s weird or gross. Belittling, excluding, bullying, etc is invalidating someone who could use information and support and that is DISGUSTANG. I DON’T CARE IF YOU DON’T LIKE WHAT I’M SAYING. Don’t hop on the majority train and stay there because you’re too afraid to voice a different opinion so now you’re going to be a d*ck. It’s not cute nor is it funny. As Michael Jordan said, “Stop it, get some help.”

All I literally ask of anyone reading this is to validate those who you know nothing about. Talk, communicate, and reach out. If you feel uncomfortable with it, that’s fine. If you feel triggered by the topic then that is also fine and VALID. Just don’t be an ass to other people who might feel the same way.

Also as a closing and before I hear “I’ve never seen this issue, you’re just starting shit” kind of thing I will have you know IT DOES HAPPEN. Especially on amino and discord servers I have been on. It does happen. It needs to stop.

Instead of bashing them and then saying they're wrong with no further explanation maybeeee you should try something more decent. For example you could explain to them what respawn is, the effects to those here, how it works, and avoid anything opinionated until they have the facts (I’m going to use facts as a loose term being that we are a small and new community and we still need more scientific backing or experiences to gain more insight). Also you should explain that YOU DONT NEED TO RESPAWN TO STAY IN YOUR DR PERMANETLY. A number one factor, that I have noticed, is they take the risk to respawn because someone failed to inform them that they didn’t need to kill themselves to stay in their DR permanently. Due to this, they take the risk because they would rather do it than ever come back to this reality which may not be kind to them at all. And that is a community failure. Instead of bashing someone who may need help, talk to them. Inform them.

⚠️ALSO FYI some people respawn for spiritual aspects but right now I'm talking about the suicidial part of the respawn community so if you're a spiritual respawner I'm not talking about that, I'm just mentioning the other part. 🧍🏻‍♀️⚠️

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nimblermortal · 4 years

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Just an fyi, if I ever do rewrite an origins fic for the Old Guard, I am going to lift Booker’s plot entirely from Les Miserables.

(tl;dr - it takes Booker 18 years and the violent deaths of all his friends to agree to join the other immortals, and this is why Andromache just kidnaps Nile)

So Booker dies at Waterloo. You know who else died at Waterloo? Marius’s father.

Other things I’ve picked up around the fandom include that Booker was not a soldier (the only one who wasn’t!), he was a counterfeiter who got conscripted and he died when he was caught deserting. So Booker dies, the Old Guard drops what they’re doing to come fetch him, but when they show up Booker goes, “But that’s stupid. Why would I do that? I’m not a fighter. I paint money. I have a life to get back to. Go do your thing without me.”

He’s really stubborn about it, so eventually they just... do. Circle back every few years to verify that, yes, Booker is still at university, still turning them down. Maybe stick around for a few months hanging out in his café to remind him of their presence. Or maybe they do this for the duration! But it’s an eighteen-year duration, because that’s how long it takes for Booker to notice his son is in his class.

Or rather, for Coufeyrac to drag his new friend/roommate over to Booker and go, “Isn’t it hilarious how much alike you two look?”

which jolts Booker out of his academic fugue state enough to proffer an invitation to Marius to join them at the café, and to start taking an active interest in the political discussions they’re having there, and to begin making elegant points. At which we come to the serious business Les Mis crossover:

-Andromache is Grantaire, sitting in a corner with her drunkenness and cynicism. She knows how this one is going to end, but she can’t drop it because Booker is immortal. (Also because she’s getting slowly drawn in by his rhetoric, shhhh.) -Yusuf and Nicoló and Victor Hugo are Jolly, L’esgle, and Musichetta, not necessarily in that order. Writer’s/reader’s choice about whether Yusuf and Nicoló are actually seducing Hugo, or whether they just get on really well. Regardless, Yusuf is spending a lot of time trying to persuade Hugo to write Nicoló into one of his stories as the most beautiful man who ever existed. -which, spoilers, Hugo does afterwards, but for the functionality of the story he conflates him with Booker and creates Enjolras -the rest of the café exists in some form that Hugo exaggerates in order to fill out the cast of the Amis. Also, Yusuf and Nicoló disagree about Hugo’s tangents - one of them is Team Pay Your Writers (So They Don’t Have to Make Up Weird Long Extra Bits) and the other one is Team Don’t Sabotage the Boy, Dear and admittedly both of them learn a lot about Paris’s sewer system that comes in handy later...

...when Booker, or really the lot of them, get overly excited about the death of General Lamarque and the whole June Revolution gets kicked off.

Booker’s son Marius does not die of cancer. They have a much more condensed drama in which Booker is the first to die on the battlefield and Marius goes, “Wow, you’re immortal? You should share, that means we could REALLY get some work done with the saving of the people of France!” and Booker is all, “Uh, no, I cannot share” and then, I don’t know, maybe Andromache dies and Marius goes, “So you can’t share, huh?” and this gets progressively dialed up as their situation devolves with the arrival of additional guardsmen, cannons, etc.

At one point a volunteer shows up in a guards uniform, a la Les Mis, and they offer it to anyone who wants out, and that turns into, “Let’s get Hugo out, he can tell our story.” Goodbye, Victor Hugo, hope you enjoyed your time inside one of your own stories!

And then they all die. I’m going for a 2012 movie version of their deaths, partly because that’s what they’re familiar with, partly because I enjoy the ‘corpses hanging out the window’ moment. In this version, obviously, there is no Jean Valjean to cart Marius’s dying body to safety; Marius just dies, and one way or another, it’s Booker’s fault. (Booker does not read Les Mis, and is grumpy about it becoming a classic.)

It gets down to the four immortals. Andromache is going, “All right, what’s your plan here, revolutionary leader? Or are you going to turn this one over to me?” Booker is looking for a way out, there has to be a way out, they can’t all just die here!

(He’s died of desertion once and of neglect a couple of times in his fugue academic wanderings, but the problem with dying of neglect is that it didn’t exactly register right - anyway, he doesn’t believe he’s immortal, or perhaps he’s forgotten in the heat of the moment.)

Andy pulls him upstairs, leaving Yusuf and Nicoló to guard the stairs (bizarrely cheerful about their impending doom), to give him a little more time to make his decision - die, pretend to stay dead, and join them, or... whatever the heck plan he’s coming up with in this panic. He’s still panicking, trying to tell Andy to put on skirts and pretend she was coerced so the guards won’t shoot her. Andy decides he’s hysterical and tries giving him a couple of smacks, which is when the guards walk in.

This is the bit Hugo sees: when Andromache drops Booker’s lapels and steps back, one pace. The guards hesitate; Andromache is not their goal. And their world seems strangely quiet as she looks at Booker and asks, “Do you permit it?”

And he gives her a shaky nod, and she throws herself into him (and out the window!) as the guns report.

Hugo high-tails it out of there. Andromache hangs on to Booker as the both of them recover. The guard secures the café and takes off. A few minutes later, Yusuf and Nicoló show up at the top of the window and reel in their boss.

“So, is he ready to come with us now?” Yusuf asks, cheerful and riddled with bullet holes. He’s mostly just excited about getting to do things other than sit in a café for eighteen years, charming little French writer or no.

“I’m sorry it did not work out for you,” Nicoló consoles.

“We’re not waiting eighteen years for the next one to develop a death pact,” Andromache promises. She’s already fantasizing about how much better this would have worked out if they had just shot Booker and dragged him off to a safehouse somewhere.

Booker goes with them. Booker has all his emotional baggage neatly packed, the toast of his emotions prepared for a liberal slathering of the butter of blame, which will quietly sink into said toast over the next few decades as he gets used to his new family and their relentless love of mankind, and plays the café scene over and over in his head until he realizes that there was not, in fact, a way any of them could have saved Marius.

#the old guard #les mis #they're remarkably impatient with Nile and yes there are other pressures #but I like to think Booker is why #also once he agrees to go with them they go back to speaking Latin and nickname him Liber #and the puns on books/freedom/drinking work SO MUCH BETTER if Booker is ALSO a June Revolutionary

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franeridart · 5 years

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Sorry I’m still new to the Bnha anime . So have they taken a break or something? Do explain please?

Sorry, I’m not actually sure what this question means! But if you’re asking why there’s no anime airing right now, then that’s because season three ended and season four still hasn’t started!

Anon said:hey there! i love your linearts so much and i really enjoy coloring lineart/manga panels and i was wondering if you'd be okay with me coloring some of your lineart? i wouldn't repost it, i'd either just keep it to myself or i'd add it as a reblog onto the original post of yours. if the answer is yes, thank you so much! if it's no, that's okay, have a great rest of your day, and keep being talented & awesome :D

I don’t like the idea of you posting them anywhere, but if it’s just for yourself then I don’t mind at all! Thank you for liking my stuff!!!

Anon said:Have you considered… Honenuki x Kuroiro?

I guess I have now :O but I still prefer Tokoyami for Kuroiro, after all haha

Anon said:When I saw you drew something with hawks I almost passed out I love the way you draw him sksksksksksk

Thank you so much!!! He’s a lot of fun to draw!!

Anon said:That sero and Kiri with the long hair 😱😍

Glad you like them!! I’m especially fond of Sero, ngl!!

Anon said:yooo i know you don't care for the villains but i gotta say i love the way you draw dabi! i just love your style in general but i really like how you draw his scars and hair, i feel like it looks more angular than how other artists draw him if that makes sense.

Why thank you so much!!!!! I like Dabi’s design a lot so it’s cool to know I can do him justice!!

Anon said:I have a phone and no laptap and i cant see your faq,what drawing tablet and drawing program do you use?

Easy Paint Tool SAI and a very old very basic Wacom Intuos! The FAQ should be accessible by mobile too tho!!

Anon said:Can you draw more of the kiribaku kids? Please

Yes I can!! Thank you for liking them!!!!

Anon said:i am so in love w your art 🖤

Ah heck thank you so much!!

Anon said: Heeey! Your vigilantes AU is soooo cute. Are there any fic or maybe more art about it? I really love it! And your art too!! Thank you for the great art! (◠‿◠✿) || Oooo ooo and I love the way you made the relationship and interactions between Bakugou and Jirou! It's really cute. (vigilantes au anon)

A lot of people have mentioned wanting to write for it but as far as I know no one has gone through it yet! It’s a very impegnative AU isn’t it!! I should know, I’m the first who has pages full of ideas and not a comic to show yet! Maybe one day haha thank you for liking it tho!!

Anon said:Hi. You deserve the world imo. You helped me cheer up when I was feeling down. Every post of yours made my day better when I scrolled through tumblr. Thank you for everything. Bye bye 💖

TT^TT I’m so happy to hear this!! Thank you so much!!!

Anon said:Your art makes me feel warm inside, I love it!! So much!!!!

THANK YOU!!

Anon said:tumblr shows up to the 20th tag on search. just fyi.

That’s cool to know! Tho I might argue right now tumblr’s search doesn’t show jackshit! By the way using this very nice ask to let yall know that the search function on my blog isn’t currently working how it should, so if you can’t find something in the tags that’s why !!

Anon said:wow... i love your family au so much... you said you didn't like the palate you chose for mako but i couldn't disagree more!! i think she fits into the family beautifully! but anyways it's so wholesome and the best kiribaku art out there

AW THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! I’m happy to know you like them TT^TT

Anon said:you were like the only artist that drew kiribaku like two years ago and for that you have my undying loyalty... thank you..... you gave me content for them before I became an artist.. also thank you for getting me into art :) I love your art style so much!

Was I!! :O it’s been so long I honestly can’t remember, but I’m happy yo hear you’ve been around since back then! Thank you so much!!!

Anon said:Your idea for the time swap with fantasy bakugou is so great!!! I'd love if you drew more of it

AH thank you so much!!! I’d love to draw more for it too, but I can’t promise it’ll happen sadly !

Anon said:oh my God your art is super cute!! you're one of my inspirations!

That’s so sweet and wonderful to know!!! Thank you so much!!!! ;O;

Anon said:please don’t die

This is a super omnious ask, and I got it twice too 👀👀 anon what do you know that I don’t

Anon said:hi wow i just wanted to let u know that you’re art is fucking amazing and i absolutely love your blog!! just wow you’re so talented and amazing and i love you’re style and just love all your comics and just keep up the amazing work broski!!

THANK YOU SO MUUUUCCHHHHH!!!!!!! TTOTT

Anon said:Have you considered KamiMomoJirou?

Hell yeah I have!

Anon said:Bakugou and Kirishima as mermen are so beautiful. I wonder what Todoroki and Midoriya look like as mermen...

Overly complicated and requiring more time and motivation than I currently have, for sure haha but maybe one day I’ll try my hand at it! Thank you so much for liking the krbk!!!!

#fran answers #lots of !!!!!#it's because im freezing #i can't feel my hands #im trying to use excitement to warm myself up #it's not working #h e l p #anonymous

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five-wow · 5 years

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9.20 thoughts! this got very long, just as an fyi.

not even a minute in and some guys sold a teenage girl a gun. oh boy.

on the plus side: i remember which episode this is now! it’s the one with the gun that somehow has a connection to lots of five-0 members’ lives!

the banter between those two cops was really fun (and not as stilted as it sometimes is when a random Cop Or Security Duo shows up!) and then one of them got shot and something like that kind of HAD to happen but i’m still sad

OKAY so the first connection is that junior is friends with one of the guys who sold the gun and the guy shows up at HQ and i was like, oh no, but then he tells junior what he did!!! that’s so good!!! i’m weirdly proud of this very minor side character who did a very bad thing

DANNY. THERE’S DANNY. i technically knew he had to be in this episode somewhere because i’ve seen photographical evidence of it here on tumblr, but THERE HE IS. YAY. i mean, i love almost all of the main cast, but i think part of the reason why it took me a month to watch the previous episode was because danny wasn’t in it. it still just doesn’t feel right. it’s like there’s something missing. and here that something is!

junior and his buddy leave and steve and danny are alone in the office and steve said something case-related directly to danny and i’m weirdly excited about that, too!! my bars are literally so low.

BABY STEVE. baby steve is watching inspector gadget, oh my gosh, aw.

i love how doris is supposed to be there and she picks up the phone and tells mini steve to turn down the tv, but we never see any part of her except a hand and some hair because they didn’t hire the actress for this episode. so subtle.

i am... so conflicted about this scene. on the one hand, mini steve is super cute. on the other, we’re probably supposed to like young john here and think he’s a Good Dad but i just... kind of low key hate everything he does. he looks annoyed when doris tells him the call is for him, like she’s bugging him somehow after being the one who picked up the phone in the first place, and the whole “i have to go to work. take care of your mom while i’m gone, okay?” that he says to steve is so bad, omfg. steve is what, five? i know the “man of the house” thing is very common in media but it’s! so! stupid! doris is a grown woman and steve is a tiny little boy - doris has to (and can!) take care of steve, not the other way around, god. /rant

oh! we do get a full body shot of doris but it’s blurry doris! and she’s SUPER PREGNANT which makes the fact that john let her get up to answer the phone in the first place kind of bad too, actually, oh boy.

doris: “john, if something was wrong you’d tell me, right?” john: “i’m not gonna lie to you, i don’t know. just lock the door behind me, i’ll try to call you as soon as i get this straightened out.” OMG WHAT. okay a) this is hilarious knowing as we do that doris was actually a highly trained cia agent/assassin and probably way more skilled than john and outranks him by far, fjdkfd, and b) i’ll give john a little credit for being somewhat honest and not just going with “no, everything’s totally fine, don’t worry”, but the answer he does give is almost worse because it’s so incredibly vague, holy shit. he says “i’m not gonna lie to you” and he doesn’t, but he also doesn’t tell doris who called or what they said or why he’s suddenly leaving for work in the middle of the night or why he thinks she needs to lock the door.

i’m only six minutes in at this point. i’m talking too much oh gosh

WAIT WAIT WAIT. john is offering himself up as a hostage, alone and unarmed and without backup, and THAT’s the “oh, i don’t know if there’s something wrong honey” situation he was leaving for? john. the fuck. now the “i’m not gonna lie” was definitely a lie after all.

the guy with the gun: “you’re such a good boy, john.” i respectfully disagree, my man.

the guy with the gun apparently killed his business partner and john arrested him (of course) and he and john have a talk about it where the guy is like “i shouldn’t have gone to prison!” and john is like “you got off lightly!” and it’s okay but. john is so smug about it and i hate that. he’s probably supposed to look bad ass and cool but i just. i just really dislike it. it’s this macho man thing and i’m not into it at all.

guy with gun, talking about his son: “you made sure he grew up without a father.” this, um, kind of made me laugh, because apparently that’s one of john’s specialties - for this guy’s kid by sending him (probably deservedly) to prison, sure, but later also his own kids by sending them away, fdjfkd. wow.

ooohhhh the gun guy said “steve, right?” and the frame kind of flipped to present day steve and that was very cool! i loved that.

2010 danny! and he’s talking to grace on the phone!!! already love it.

i also love that they gave him a baseball cap, presumably to hide the kind of obvious difference in hair that nine years brought.

danny kind of snubs the local food and it’s very 2010!him, but oh danny. it’s not the poor shop owner’s fault that your ex dragged you there against your will.

oh BOY. the shop gets robbed and the owner shot (which was expected, of course, when a main character wanders in there at night), and then danny asks the random woman shopping there to keep pressure on the owner’s wound until the ambulance gets there (which... he hasn’t called, and he also hasn’t told her to call for one, so that, uh, might take a long, long while) and then he takes the shop owner’s shotgun and RUNS AFTER THE SHOOTER. which is very heroic of him but also makes every single complaint he has in season 1 about steve’s daredevil approach to law enforcement VERY IRONIC.

oh, danny loses the guy and NOW he calls it in, fjdkfkd.

jerry is doing some smart tracking thing on the computer and it’s pretty regular h50 stuff but there’s an email adress on the screen that’s literally “gunlover[bunch of numbers]” and i’m screaming oh gosh

they already found the girl! but her dad is understandably not that jazzed about letting his daughter be investigated for murder. but good job on tracking her down so quickly!

2015 tani at a party!!! aww.

ohhh gosh koa is target shooting with the gun, which probably means he’s going to end up getting framed for something, oh no.

oh boy, tani has the same concerns so she confronts her boyfriend about it but she also knows her boyfriend’s in a gang and then the police comes knocking at his door about a murder, so that’s not going to end well.

ooh, 2015 tani was a police informant! and she’s talking to a pretty cool female detective and i appreciate that, even though you’d have to squint to count this scene as passing the bechdell test because almost every sentence references tani’s boyfriend, the boyfriend’s gang or tani’s brother.

steve and danny are interrogating a suspect together!! i might be completely wrong, but i feel like we haven’t seen that in a while.

suspect: “i don’t know if either of you guys are married, but even if it goes south, you can’t shut down some of those feelings, you know? like the ones that go right down into the core.” HMMM. INTERESTING. the camera is literally on danny’s face for a good portion of this, gosh.

they close their main case and i thought for a moment there was going to be some big twist because the episode isn’t near over yet, but instead they realize that this gun was used for a whole bunch of other crimes. it’s a “community gun”! i love that term, wow. how nice and cooperative of them all, sharing this one piece between them.

danny recognizes his case from the ones on the screen!!! and he tells the rest of them that he went to get a bite to eat on his first night in hawaii and that the store was robbed, and i’m kind of glad that at least the team seems to recognize that this is extraordinarily bad luck, ha.

also, steve barely reacts to danny’s story, so i’m taking that to mean that he definitely already knows it. which would make total sense! this seems like the kind of thing danny would rant about at some point during one of his “why i hate hawaii” tirades in season 1, but still, i like that. they know each other.

fjdkfjdk i LOVE how the whole team is standing there and piecing together the fact that they have connections to a ridiculous number of the crimes committed with this one gun, and jerry keeps commenting about how freaky it all is. this is so much fun, awww.

young john gets shot but of course he was wearing a vest, because he can’t die yet, because he needs to save that for a moment much later when he’s scarred his kids more and when he can die horribly on the phone with his son.

OKAY BUT “d. lukela”!!!! i’ve been watching the john bits very sceptically at this point but THIS I DID NOT SEE COMING and i ADORE IT.

john: “listen, duke, i’m not gonna lie to you man...” WHY do you keep saying that john, omfg. at least this time you’re telling the truth about not lying, i suppose. 50% not lying about not lying isn’t much, but it’s a start.

steve!! remembers!! that night!! and it’s because he was six and really scared because he knew something was wrong oh nooo

danny and tani talking in the car is super nice!!! and danny gets to drive the camaro for once which, wow, that’s pretty shocking

ahhhhh, the only thing this danny+car scene was missing was steve and then he CALLS. very good.

i just. listen. i just love danny. the way he keeps butting into the tense conversation between tani and this guy she used to know who she put in prison? it’s both hilarious and secretly very kind, because it’s making the moment so much more bearable for tani.

danny and tani find the guy from the convenience store robbery and he just turns around and puts his hands on his back to be cuffed when they ask him to! he doesn’t pull out a gun from somewhere or even try to run away! holy shit!

duke and steve are in california rounding off steve’s dad’s case and of course they get shot at before even knocking on the door and then the suspect runs for it, too. maybe it’s just steve. maybe their work would be a lot easier if steve’s presence didn’t magically make all the suspects shoot and run.

and the gun gets put away in a box in evidence storage, closing the case(s). aww. that’s a nice end.

okay, so, as much as i complain about john mcgarrett, i did really enjoy this episode very much! it was a really fun idea to have this gun travel around the island and use it to show little parts of characters’ backstories and i liked the execution of it too, plus the pacing was good and it had some funny moments and it had (very importantly) danny in it. and tani’s background!!! i think that was the one that surprised me most, because danny being a good cop with bad luck and steve having a not-so-great dad are a bit of a given at this point (though i still enjoyed seeing that, too!), but we knew precious little about tani’s life before five-0, and apparently there’s a huge story there. knowing what this episode showed us, i kind of want her to have a conversation with kamekona at some point - they both had a youth where they (almost) went the wrong direction, and they both got out of that in part for the sake of their brothers, and then they both ended up in the five-ohana somehow, which is probably not a place they ever saw themselves. i don’t know, i just love the idea of this unexpected friendship/understanding between two characters who don’t seem to have a lot in common at first glance.

also, more general comment: the funny thing is, until i watched this episode i hadn’t realized how much i missed this silly show and its silly characters over the past month. i totally did that not-watching-it thing to myself (not even intentionally, but still) and clearly it was more of a mistake than i realized because oh my god it felt good to see them all on my screen again, gosh. :D

#9.20 #h50 #this!! this is the kind of thing i want more of #*

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hippychick006 · 5 years

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5.03 - Free to be you and me

Or the one where Sam and Dean don’t share any screen time or even talk at all. Having said that, there’s some good scenes that switch between the brothers to show what each of them are doing. I also like the juxtaposition of how awkwardly Dean and Castiel work together in this episode, with how seamless Dean and Sam worked together in the previous episode. Jared has some great scenes with Adrianne Palicki, Mark Pellegrino and some guest actors that did a great job with playing hunters. Dean’s primarily with Castiel, though I did like the Raphael scene the first time I watched.

It’s an important episode in terms of the myth arc and Sam finding out he’s Lucifer’s vessel, but on re-watch, I’d fast forward through many of the scenes now.

The episode opens on Sam sleeping (or trying to) in a motel room. I’m issuing a shirtless!Sam alert for this one. He rolls over and sees Jess is beside him. This scene is so sweet. I love when they manage to bring Jess back in interesting ways. We see that Sam loved her very much. Sam says he misses her so much. She asks him what he’s doing running away. He says it’s different this time, “Last time I wanted to be normal. This time I know I’m a freak.”

Jess: Even at Stanford you knew. You knew there was something dark inside of you. Deep down, maybe, but you knew. Maybe that's what got me killed.

Sam denies it, but Jess says: “I was dead from the moment we said hello.” Jess tells him she’s trying to protect him from himself, he can’t run, the past will always catch up with him and the people closest to him will die. Sam says he won’t make that mistake again. Jess says things won’t ever change with Sam. Sam looks down and when he looks back up, Jess is gone.

After the title screen, we get taken back to one week earlier. I like the scenes we get that switch between what Sam and Dean are doing. Sam’s dropped off (in a different car than we saw him hitching away in last week). He’s arriving at the motel we saw him with Jess in the opener, which is in Garber, Oklahoma. When he opens the trunk to get his belongings, we switch to Dean, closing baby’s trunk and it’s clear from the way he’s suited and booted (not to mention the weapon he places under his coat), that Dean’s on a hunt alone. Fyi, Dean’s in Greely, Pennsylvania, which google maps tells me is about a 21 hour ish, drive from where Sam is.

Sam gets a job at a bar and Dean’s killing vampires with one liners: “Eat it, twilight.” Sam wipes his brow while he’s chopping lemons, Dean wipes his blood covered face after chopping the head off a vampire. Sam’s cleaning the bar, Dean’s cleaning baby.

We get the same effect as the last episode in that the soundtrack song – Lynyrd Skynyrd Simple Man – changes to be heard coming from the radio as Dean is driving. He looks over to the empty passenger’s seat as he drives.

We next see Dean in a motel room and this scene is one of the ones Hellers always pull out when everyone else says they don’t see Destiel. Castiel appears suddenly behind Dean. Dean jumps and thumps the sink. He’s clearly annoyed and glares, “Don’t do that!” He turns around and Castiel is standing far too close. Dean can’t look at Castiel, not because of attraction, but because he’s angry at having to tell Castiel the same thing over and over and it’s awkward that he’s too close: Dean: Cas, we've talked about this. Personal space? Castiel does move back, but he again comes into Dean’s space during the scene. I’m at a loss for how anyone sees these scenes as “romantic”. There’s clearly a power imbalance and it’s uncomfortable to watch Castiel continually disrespecting Dean’s wishes.

Long scene short, Castiel needs Dean’s help to trap and interrogate the angel that killed him (Raphael), to get God’s location.

Dean: You're serious about this… So, what, I'm Thelma and you're Louise and we're just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?

Dean asks why he should do this and receives the answer that no angel will dare harm him. Dean: “Oh, so I'm your bullet shield.” Castiel says Dean’s the only one who will help him. He even adds a please. Dean agrees, Castiel reaches up to zap Dean’s forehead, which Dean vetoes because “last time you zapped me someplace I didn’t poop for a week...we’re driving.”

Back to Sam – or Keith, since he’s using a different name – Lindsey the bartender flirts with him, asking if he plays darts. Sam says it depends what they are playing for. Lindsey says when she wins, Sam can buy her dinner and tell her his life story. Sam agrees. He steps up and I think he scores 100, but then gets distracted by the news, which is freak hail, lightning strikes and fire, all affecting a single local town. The older bartender (not Lindsey), turns the TV off and says: Damn. Is it me or does it seem like it's the end of the world?

Dean and Castiel have arrived in Maine. Dean asks why they’re here (not sure why he didn’t do that on the drive). Castiel wants to speak to a deputy sheriff that saw the archangel and his plan consists of: “We'll tell the officer that he witnessed an angel of the Lord, and the officer will tell us where the angel is.”

Unsurprisingly, Dean does not agree with that plan. He puts a fake ID in Castiel’s coat, then adjusts his tie to be properly done up (like you would do with a child), and tells him that when humans want something, they lie. Long story short, this is the scene where Cass holds his ID badge upside down and Dean says, “He's, uh, he's new.” This scene would be funnier if we’d got an explanation for when Castiel had a picture taken to get a fake ID done, otherwise the scene just doesn’t make sense as it stands.

They interview the deputy who witnessed the incident (which was a riot that turned into an explosion at a gas station). Castiel “helpfully” interjects on occasion with things like “It's angels and demons, probably… they're skirmishing all over the globe.”

Sheriff (to Castiel): Come again? (to Dean) What did he say?

I think what’s funny about this is that Castiel is sitting nearest the ear the sheriff can’t hear with (as it got damaged in the explosion), so there’s an element of, “am I really hearing this right?” at play here.

Dean and Castiel speak at the same time and it’s certainly not winsync. Dean: nothing, Castiel: demons. They repeat this. Then Dean covers with: Demons, you know, drink, adultery. We all have our demons, Walt.

Once they get past the awkwardness, they learn that one guy survived the explosion, not a scratch on him.

Dean: Let me guess, he just, uh, vanished into thin air?

Sheriff: Uh, no, Kolchak. He's down at Saint Pete's.

I had to look up Kolchak reference. This is from wiki: Kolchak: The Night Stalker is an American television series that aired on ABC during the 1974–1975 season. It featured a fictional Chicago wire service reporter—Carl Kolchak, played by Darren McGavin—who investigated mysterious crimes with unlikely causes, particularly those that law enforcement authorities would not follow up. These often involved the supernatural or science fiction, including fantastic creatures.

Wasn’t this what Kripke originally wanted to go with, a reporter investigating urban legends? Glad he went with the brothers.

Castiel helpfully repeats “Saint Pete's.” to Dean and not for the first time this episode, Dean really wishes his brother were here.

Down at the Saint Pete’s hospital, the survivor – local mechanic Donnie – is catatonic. Raphael has left his vessel in a terrible state. Dean: So, is this what I'm looking at if Michael jumps in my bones?

Castiel: No, not at all. Michael is much more powerful. It'll be far worse for you.

Oh great, that’s just…

Sam’s researching revelations (in latin), presumably because of the issues happening in the local town. He picks up his phone and scrolls past everyone to get to Dean. His brother isn’t on speed dial?! He has a lot of names, a couple I think we met. Interesting that Brady isn’t among them. He ignores my shouting, “Just call your brother, you idiot” and scrolls back up to Bobby’s number.

He tells Bobby about the omens he’s found. 'And upon his rising there shall be hail and fire mixed with blood.' He says they’ve already got the first two, so blood can’t be far behind. Bobby asks why Sam’s calling. Sam questions that Dean didn’t tell him (about Sam not hunting).

Bobby: He told me.

Sam: Yeah. So, I just thought you might want to find out who's in the area and put a man on this.

Bobby: Okay, let me see if I can think of the best hunter who might be in the immediate vicinity—oh, that'd be you.

Sam says he can’t and that he’s got to go. Bobby protests, but Sam hangs up the phone. Bobby looks sad.

Dean’s in an abandoned house, looking through his dad’s journal. Castiel flaps in and Dean asks where he’s been – presumably Castiel just did his usual and disappeared without explanation. Castiel responds: Jerusalem.

Dean (sarcastically): Oh, how was it?

Castiel (perfectly seriously): Arid.

I miss this Castiel that didn’t understand humour and took everything literally.

Castiel sets a jug on the table and Dean asks what it is. Castiel responds that it’s oil, very special and rare. Dean makes a joke about trapping Raphael with a nice vinaigrette. Then asks more seriously “Isn't that kinda like trapping a hurricane with a butterfly net?” Castiel says it’s harder. Dean asks if there’s a chance of surviving this. Castiel says Dean does (have a chance), implication is, Castiel doesn’t. Dean: So odds are you're a dead man tomorrow.

Castiel confirms this and Dean seems completely unperturbed (I miss these days), He asks Castiel what his plans are for his last night on earth.

Castiel: I just thought I'd sit here quietly

Dean disagrees and suggests booze and women. He quickly discovers through Castiel’s awkwardness that the angel hasn’t ever done the deed (why would he, he’s not human?). Dean: There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. Two, you are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch. Let's go. (no hellers, he’s not offering his own services, he’s taking him out to get laid with hookers).

Back at the bar, Sam sees hunters he knows walk in and turns his back, walking away to try not to be recognised. No luck, the hunter calls after him and blows his alias by calling him Sam. Lindsey calls him on it and Sam says it’s his middle name, which she laughs at. Lindsey asks if the guys are his friends. One (Steve) answers: Hunting buddies. With his dad. Samuel here is quite the hunter himself.

Lindsey: Wow. You killed deer and things?

Tim: Yeah… and things.

Awkward! Sam gets them drinks and Tim apologises for busting him. I like seeing hunters from around their dad’s time, but sadly these guys will turn out to be assholes. They tell him about the demons and that Bobby told them Sam was off limits. Sam confirms it, but Tim says they really could use all hands. Sam say’s he’s sorry. Tim tries again, but Sam’s not having any of it. They leave for the hunt, telling Sam he’s buying them beers when they get back.

Lindsey: So, your parents were drunk when they named you and you shoot Bambi?

Sam says it’s a long story, but Lindsey’s had enough, she’s buying dinner and they are going to talk. Sam says he can’t, but Lindsey is insistent. Got to say, I’m not respecting the boundaries with either Castiel or Lindsey in this episode or actually Dean in terms of Cass getting drunk and having sex.

I absolutely have to say kudos to Misha for this next scene though. He looks absolutely terrified as he looks around the scantily clad women: “This is a den of iniquity. I should not be here!”

Dean: Dude, you full-on rebelled against heaven. Iniquity is one of the perks.

A hooker approaches and asks Castiel’s name. He doesn’t answer so Dean has to answer for him, which makes Castiel jump. Dean asks her name in turn, which turns out to be Chastity. Castiel downs half his beer then Chastity tugs Castiel up and leads him away. Dean stops him, giving Castiel money saying: “If she asks for a credit card, no. Now just stick to the basics, okay? Do not order off the menu. Go get her, tiger.” Castiel doesn’t move. Dean: “Don’t make me push you.”

I’m can’t help wondering if this is something Dean also did with a young Sam.

Another hooker walks by and Dean turns to follow her. He’s having a drink with her at the bar when they hear a scream. He goes to investigate, Castiel is standing in the hallway, more disheveled than normal. Chastity is pissed and shouts at Castiel and then also at Dean as she angrily stomps off, still grumbling.

Dean: The hell did you do?

Castiel: I don't know. I just looked her in the eyes and told her it wasn't her fault that her father Gene ran off. It was because he hated his job at the post office.

Dean rolls his eyes: Oh no man… This whole industry runs on absent fathers. It's, it's the natural order.

They have to exit quickly, and Dean laughs when they get back outside. Castiel asks what’s so funny. Dean: Oh, nothing. Whoo. It's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. It's been more than a long time. Years.

Back with Sam and it looks like Lindsey has finally worn Sam down as they are eating dinner. Lindsey’s still trying to get Sam’s story and asks again about the guys from earlier. Sam says they used to be in the same business together. When Lindsey presses for details, Sam tries to change the subject.

Lindsey: Witness protection, right? You're Mafia?

Sam (laughs): I'm not Mafia.

He sees Lindsey is switching off and relents a little as he tells her “I used to be in business with my brother. Truth is I was pretty good at the job. But...I made some mistakes, I did some stuff I'm not so proud of, and people got hurt. A lot of people.”

Me having just re-watched the entirety of the last few seasons. I’m going to need to see a list of the people that got hurt because of what Sam did. Stat!

Lindsey asks what Sam was hooked on, because she knows the look. Sam looks uncomfortable, I’m thinking drinking demon blood isn’t something he can easily fess up to at addiction anonymous groups. Lindsey pulls out a medallion and says she’s three years sober. Sam: “You work in a bar.”

Lindsey: So do you. Look, Keith. I don't know you and I'm the last person to be giving advice, but I do know that no one has ever done anything so bad that they can't be forgiven. That they can't change.

Castiel and Dean are at the hospital. Castiel is pouring the oil in a circle around Raphael’s vessel explaining that no angel can touch or pass through the flames (or they die). Dean asks how they’ll get Raphael there. Castiel says there’s something like a phone line between a vessel and his angel. You just have to know how to dial. He leans down to Donnie’s ear and chants in Enochian.

Dean: Just out of curiosity, what is the average customer wait time to speak to an archangel?

Castiel: Be ready. He lights a match and drops it on the oil, which bursts into a ring of flame.

Much later (that it’s turned from day to night. Dean and Castiel are driving back to the abandoned house. Dean: “Well that's a day I'll never get back.”

He enters the house and Castiel grabs him and tells him to wait. There’s bright white light and Raphael is there in Donnie’s body, impressive lightning display of his wings. Dean isn’t so impressed, he says all Raphael’s done is shot the lights in the room. Raphael responds: And the Eastern Seaboard. He threatens to take Dean to Michael. Dean says he’s going nowhere with Raphael. Raphael reminds him of the stomach cancer Zachariah gave him. Dean said it was hilarious.

Raphael: Well, he doesn't have anything close to my imagination.

Raphael’s arrogance is his undoing though as Dean says they knew he was coming. Castiel lights a zippo and and drops it. Raphael is now standing within a circle of fire and glares at Dean. Raphael glares at Dean who responds. “Don't look at me, it was his idea!”

Castiel asks Raphael where God is, Raphael says he’s dead.

Back at the bar and Sam’s cleaning up. Tim’s back and asks Sam if he’s got something to tell him. Sam says no and asks where the other two are. Tim answers that Steve’s dead and that the demons told them things about Sam. Sam refuses to talk but Reggie arrives and he’s holding Lindsey hostage with a knife.

Raphael and Castiel continue to have daddy abandonment issues. Though it’s nice as part of this discussion that Dean puts the blame for the apocalypse where it belongs:

Raphael: Careful. That's my Father you're talking about, boy.

Dean: Yeah, who would be so proud to know his sons started the frigging apocalypse.

Back at the bar, Sam falsely confesses to starting the apocalypse.

Me @Sam, you’re doing great sweetie. If only the others involved would take some responsibility for their own actions. Thankfully, before I can really get started on this topic, we quickly go back to Dean, Castiel asks Raphael that if God’s dead, then who brought him back. Raphael suggests Lucifer because he needs all the rebellious angels he can find. Castiel realises Raphael truly believes God is dead so doesn’t know anything. He goes to leave. Raphael warns him about just leaving him here, that he will find him.

Castiel: Maybe one day. But today, you're my little bitch.

Dean: What he said.

Best part of the episode is back with Sam as this is a great scene. Tim has a tube of demon blood and wants Sam to take it so he can go with them and kill the demons. Sam refuses but Tim says they’ll kill Lindsey if he doesn’t. Reggie has handcuffed Lindsey to the bar and advances on Sam. Reggie charges Sam who impressively tosses him onto a pool table and starts punching him, but Tim takes Sam down and together with Reggie, force the demon blood into Sam’s mouth. They force his mouth closed until he swallows. They retreat and Sam gets up, he spits the blood in Tim’s eye who can’t see to fight back now. Sam gets the upper hand and the kick he gives Reggie is worth watching the episode for. Sam hauls Tim up and looks as though he’s going to kill him with Reggie’s knife, but sees Lindsey watching and she’s terrified. He stops and tells them both to leave. They say they’ll be back, but I’m pretty sure we never see or hear from them again.

Dean gives Castiel a pep talk about missing fathers. “I mean there were times when I was looking for my dad when all logic said that he was dead, but I knew in my heart he was still alive. Who cares what some ninja turtle says, Cas, what do you believe?” Castiel believes God is alive and Dean says then go find him. Castiel asks how Dean is. Dean says he’s good.

Castiel: Even without your brother?

Dean: Especially without my brother. I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I've had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years, and you're not that much fun. It's funny, you know, I've been so chained to my family, but now that I'm alone, hell, I'm happy.

Thankfully, when Dean glances to the passenger seat and it’s empty, we see from his face that all of that was just Dean’s usual bullshit where he puts his game face on to try to convince others of what he’s saying.

Back at the motel room, Sam is sleeping (in a t-shirt this time – wth Sam? Pick a sleeping attire and stick to it!). He hears Jess call his name and he wakes abruptly. Jess is back and Sam kisses her. He tells her he loves her then sits up and faces away from her on the bed. He tells her he misses her but she’s wrong about him. “People can change. There is reason for hope.” Jess tells him there isn’t and then morphs into Lucifer (Sam doesn’t see this). Sam asks how Jess can be so sure

Lucifer: Because you freed me.

Sam gets up and moves away.

Lucifer: You are a hard one to find, Sam. Harder than most humans. I don't suppose you'd tell me where you are?

That would be a nope as Sam asks what Lucifer wants. Lucifer wants to give Sam a gift for freeing him. Sam wants nothing from him. Lucifer tells Sam he’s sorry, but that Nick is just a Plan B. He can barely contain him. Sam asks what Lucifer is talking about. Lucifer: Why do you think you were in that chapel? You're the one, Sam. You're my vessel. My true vessel.

Sam looks horrified: “No. That'll never happen.”

Lucifer: I'm sorry, but it will. I will find you. And when I do, you will let me in. I'm sure of it.

Sam realises Lucifer needs his consent, which Lucifer confirms. Sam: I will kill myself before letting you in.

Lucifer: I'll just bring you back. He sighs and continues: Sam. My heart breaks for you. The weight on your shoulders, what you've done, what you still have to do. It is more than anyone could bear. If there was some other way...but there isn't. I will never lie to you. I will never trick you. But you will say yes to me.

Sam says he’s wrong, but Lucifer says he knows Sam better than Sam knows himself. Sam asks why him.

Good question, Sam, let’s listen carefully to the answer:

Lucifer: Because it had to be you, Sam. It always had to be you.

Hold up there sparky, “it always had to be you” Sam, until the writers wanted to bring Lucifer back and decided that anyone can be Lucifer’s vessel, including another angel, so your entire storyline this season is now a complete waste of time, which can be added on to last season being a waste of time since all that was required to free Lucifer is a witch and a spell. Having said that, scenes like this one over the years are why they keep bringing him back. It’s a very good scene between Jared and Mark.

Poor Sammy, the hits just keep coming for him. Up next, the End, or the one where Jensen works his ass off, doing double time and Jared comes in and steals the episode. (paraphrasing Jensen’s words).

#supernatural #season 5 #rewatch #5.03 #free to be you and me #episode recap

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rose-gold-romantic · 6 years

Text

What Heroes Do: Chapter Nine

A Loki x reader that takes place during Thor: Ragnarok. Follow-up fic to Tesseract and Lokasenna .

I WOULD LOVE FEEDBACK! Want to be tagged in updates? Let me know!

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We carried Loki up to Val’s room, and I anxiously avoided talking to her. I opted to stay with Loki while she searched for Thor, but she insisted on keeping him tied to a chair in her absence.

“I am not having him escape on me.” she said. “Make sure he doesn’t leave. I’m done forgetting, if I’m going to die, it’s going to be defeating Hela, murderous hag that she is.”

She left in a huff, leaving me and an unconscious Loki sitting alone.

It seemed to take Loki forever to recover consciousness, groaning about his head hurting. I gave him a kiss, causing him to smile.

“I should have known you’d follow us.” he said, “And while it was certainly reckless, I’m glad that you did. Where is she now? Can you let me out?”

“I can’t help you, she took the key with her. She left to go find Thor and Hulk.” I replied, “She’s ready to go face Hela now. She said that she was done trying to forget what happened. I only hope that it’s not too late.”

“Hela is incredibly powerful.” Loki said, “You saw what she did to Thor’s hammer! I don’t think it would be safe for you to go.”

“Nothing in this universe is ever really safe.” I replied. “But I have some skill, some ability to help. What kind of person would I be if I were to stand by and do nothing when I could be helping innocent people? Even if I lose my life, it would all be worth it to know that one child, one desperate mother, made it to safety because of that sacrifice.”

The door opened behind me, Thor and Valkyrie walking in with Dr. Banner, who was no longer in Hulk form.

“Surprise.” Loki said, watching the group come in.

Thor picked up a cup, throwing it at Loki. “Ow.” Loki said as it bounced off of his head.

“Just had to be sure.” Thor explained, following Val over to the other side of the room.

“Hello Bruce.” Loki said, Dr. Banner looking both scared and uncomfortable as he followed Thor.

“So, last time I saw you, you were trying to kill everybody.” Bruce said, “Where are you at these days?”

“It varies from moment to moment.” Loki teased, smirking as Bruce’s facial expression was washed with terror.

I punched Loki in the arm, “What was that for?”

“Just a little bit of fun.” Loki whispered to me, “Since he can’t hurt me right now.”

“Is that a Dragonfang?” Thor asked Val, as she set a sword down on the table.

“It is.” Val said, rolling her eyes at Bruce as he tore into fruit that was sitting on the table.

“My God.” Thor said, drawing it out from its sheath to admire it. “This is the famed sword of the Valkyrie.”

“So, Sakaar and Asgard are about as far apart as any two known systems.” Val said, “Our best bet is a wormhole just outside of city limits. Refuel on Xandar, we can be back in Asgard in.. 18 months.”

“Nope.” Thor said, gesturing out the window. “We are going through the big one.”

“The Devil’s Anus?” Val scoffed.

“Anus?” Dr. Banner piped up, mouth full of food. “Wait, wait, wait, who’s anus?”

“For the record, I didn’t know it was called that when I picked it.” Thor defended.

“That looks like a collapsing neutron star inside of an Einstein-Rosen bridge.” Banner said, pointing to the black swirling mass.

“We need another ship, that will tear mine to pieces.” Val said, gesturing to the portal.

“She’s right,” Thor said, “We will need one that can withstand the geodetic strain from the singularity.”

“And has an offline power steering system that could also function without the onboard computer.” Bruce added.

“And we’ll need one with cup holders, because we’re going to die.” Val said. “So, drinks!”

“Do I know you?” Bruce asked Val, “I feel like I know you.”

“I feel like I know you too.” Val laughed, “It’s weird.”

“What do you say?” Thor asked Banner, “Uncharted metagalactic travel through a votile cosmic gateway. Talk about an adventure.”

“We need a ship.” Banner said, bumping Thor’s fist in agreement.

“Need a ship.” Thor agreed.

“There are one or two ships.” Val said, “Absolute top of the line models…”

“I don’t mean to impose…” Loki interrupted, and I ducked as Val threw her empty bottle at the wall behind him. “But the Grandmaster has a great many ships. I may have even stolen the access codes to his security system.”

“And suddenly you’re overcome with the urge to do the right thing.” Val retorted.

“I can’t say it’s the right thing. I’ve run out of favor with the Grandmaster.” Loki said, “And in exchange for the codes and access to a ship, I’m asking for safe passage through the Anus.”

“You’re telling us that you can get us access into the garage without setting off any alarms?” Thor queried.

“Yes, brother.” Loki replied confidently. “I can.”

“Ok, can I just… a quick FYI.” Bruce said, standing between Thor and Loki, “I was just talking to him a couple minutes ago and he was totally ready to kill us.”

“I told you that was a stupid idea.” I whispered to Loki.

“A punch does not equate telling me anything.” he responded, rolling his eyes.

“Yes, me too, on many occasions.” Thor said, continuing their conversation. “There was one time, when we were children, he transformed himself into a snake, and he knows that I love snakes. So I went to go pick up the snake to admire it, and he transformed back into himself and was like, ‘Yea! It’s me!’ and he stabbed me. We were eight at the time.”

I looked over to Loki with an eyebrow raised, and he simply looked down, smiling and fighting back a snicker.

“If we’re boosting a ship,” Val said, rolling her eyes as she tried to reset the conversation back to the task at hand, “we’re going to need to draw some guards away from the palace.”

“Why not set the beast loose?” Loki suggested, looking to Bruce.

“Shut up.” Thor said.

“You guys have a beast?” Val said excitedly.

“No, there’s no beast.” Thor clarified. “He’s just being stupid. We are going to start a revolution.”

“Revolution?” Bruce asked.

“I’ll explain later.” Thor said.

Val spoke with Thor quickly, and left with Bruce to go free the prisoner fighters from their holding place.

I left with Thor and Loki, heading to the main hangar where we would find the ships we needed. The trip was spent in silence, moving quickly and hiding in the shadows to avoid detection.

Loki stood at the door that would lead us to the garage, inputting the security code as the incapacitated guards lay on either side of the door.

“Hey, so, listen.” Thor said to Loki, breaking the silence. “We should talk.”

“I disagree.” Loki said, opening the door. “Open communication was never our family’s forte.”

“You have no idea.” Thor said, picking up one of the guard’s weapons as we stepped through the open doorway. “Been quite the revelation since we last spoke.” Thor held the weapon aloft, Loki mirroring his action. “Hello!”

“Hi.” Loki stated as they both opened fire on the surprised guards. Walking forwards, we shielded ourselves against the wall, ceasing the attack for a moment.

“Odin brought us together.” Loki said, “It’s almost poetic that his death should split us apart.”

We advanced again, Loki tossing me the weapon so that he could open the next doorway.

“Two sons of the crown, set adrift.” Loki added, closing the door between us and the rest of the guards. Loki opened the next door, immediately raising his hands as a guard approached with weapon raised.

Thor dispatched the guard quickly, passing through the doorway. “Thought you didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Here’s the thing,” Loki countered, jogging to enter the elevator with Thor and I. “I’m probably better off staying here on Sakaar.”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking.” Thor said, to Loki and I’s surprise.

“Did you just agree with me?” Loki asked in disbelief.

“Come on, this place is perfect for you.” Thor said, “It’s savage, chaotic, lawless…Brother, you’re going to do great here.”

“Do you truly think so little of me?” Loki asked, staring ahead.

“Loki, I thought the world of you.” Thor said, “I thought we were going to fight side by side forever. But, at the end of the day, you’re you, and I’m me. And I don’t know, maybe there’s still some good in you. You’ve changed greatly in that respect. But let’s be honest, our paths diverged a long time ago.”

It was as the regret and guilt washed over Loki’s face that I realized what Thor was doing.

“Yea,” Loki agreed quietly. “It’s probably for the best that we never see each other again.”

“It’s what you always wanted.” Thor said, patting Loki on the back.

Loki nodded, his lips pursed.

“Hey, let’s do ‘Get Help’” Thor said excitedly.

“What?”

“Get help!” Thor stressed.

“No.” Loki said sternly.

“Come on, you love it!” Thor insisted.

“I hate it, actually.” Loki said.

“It’s great, it works every time.” Thor said with a grin.

“It’s humiliating.” Loki corrected.

“Do you have a better plan?” Thor countered.

“No.”

“We’re doing it.” Thor determined, smiling.

“We are not doing Get Help.” Loki insisted.

As the elevator slowed to a stop, Thor grabbed Loki’s arm and draped it over his shoulder. Loki groaned, rolling his eyes as he let his body go limp.

“Get help, please!” Thor yelled as the door opened, his sudden appearance startling the group of guards. “My brother, he’s dying!”

“Get help!” I yelled, trying to follow along with the improvised plan.

“Help him!” Thor yelled, hauling Loki up and throwing him at the cluster of Guards, knocking them all out.

“Classic.” Thor beamed as Loki stood up from the pile of guards.

“Still hate it.” Loki said, straightening his collar. “It’s humiliating.”

“Not for me, it’s not.” Thor laughed. “Now, which one is the ship she told us to get?”

“The Commodore.” Loki said, gesturing to a bright yellow ship.

I nodded, “I’ll go scout ahead and make sure no one is there.”

Thor nodded, and Loki held me quickly. “Promise to be careful.” He whispered. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

“I’ll stay safe, as long as you promise to come for me.” I said, kissing him.

“I wouldn’t dream of anything else.” He responded, holding my hand as I became invisible. I ran off ahead, climbing up to the Commodore’s deck without interruption. Shortly after, Thor arrived, closing off the ship as he entered.

“Where’s Loki?” I asked, looking around.

“He tried to alter the plan, mischievous man that he is.” Thor said vaguely, “I talked to him, and he decided to stay for a while. He’s bringing another ship. He won’t be coming with us.”

I nodded, looking down as Thor took the helm. Loki had promised me to come, but how was he to do that if he wasn’t going to fly to Asgard with us?

“Alright, we can figure this out.” Thor said, “It’s just another spaceship.”

We accelerated out of the hangar, weaving in and out of buildings on our way to the portal. It wasn’t long before we were tailed by another ship, their lasers firing at us. Before I even had a chance to see if we had any offensive capability, Val’s ship came flying in, destroying our attacker.

“Open the doors.” Val’s voice came from our speaker, and Thor pressed a few buttons on the console. Val flew below us, ejecting Dr. Banner up and into the ship. I ran back, pulling Bruce up from the edge, enemy laser fire hitting us once again.

“Shouldn’t we be shooting back or something??” Bruce shouted as we scrambled up to the cockpit.

“Yes, we should.” Thor agreed, searching the control panel. “Where are the guns on this ship?”

“There aren't any.” Val said through the comm, “It’s a leisure vessel. Grandmaster uses it for his good times, orgies and stuff.”

“Did she just say the Grandmaster uses it for orgies?” Bruce asked, leaning on Thor’s chair.

“Yes.” Thor answered, disgusted. “Don’t touch anything.”

I searched around for something that we might use to combat the enemy, when Thor and Bruce both shouted out. I turned in time to see Val’s ship exploding, her form flying towards our vessel.

She hit the cabin, holding on to the window ledge for dear life.

“Get inside!” Thor shouted at her, and Val looked back at the group of enemy ships that had surrounded us.

“In a minute!” she answered, climbing up to the top of our ship

“I should probably go and help.” Thor said, standing. “Here, take the wheel!” Thor shoved Bruce down into the captain’s chair.

“No, I don’t know how to fly one of these!” Bruce protested.

“You’re a scientist,” Thor said, heading back to the open doors, “Use one of your PHD’s!”

“None of them are for flying alien spaceships!” Bruce shouted back to Thor.

Thor jumped out of the ship, and I sat down next to Bruce, telling him what I had seen Thor doing to guide the ship. Thor and Val tore apart ship after ship behind us, each one blowing up as they finished it off.

“Ok, come on, there’s got to be a gun on this thing.” Bruce said, pushing buttons haphazardly. “That one looks like a gun!”

As he pressed the button, lights went off in the back of the ship, a song echoing over it’s speakers. Fireworks shot out from the ship, surrounding us in multi-colored light. Thor and Val jumped into the ship, and I closed the doors as soon as they landed safely.

“Guys, we’re coming up on the Devil’s Anus!” Bruce called back, getting Thor and Val’s attention.

Val took over the controls, speeding up as we approached the gaping portal.

“Here we go!” she said, smiling as she expertly dodged huge flying pieces of debris. Bruce and I sat down, bracing ourselves as the ship began to shake uncontrollably. “I’ve placed our heading in the computer for Asgard, here’s to luck that we’ll get through!”

The ship continued to shake, the light at the center of the portal increasing in brightness. With a flash of white hot light, we all lost consciousness.

#loki #loki x reader #Self Insert #marvel #fanfiction #fanfic #romance #slow burn #thor #ragnarok #valkyrie #tesseract #lokasenna #what heroes do #whd

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