#I do see more people getting annoyed with this topic and i dont blame them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pashminalamb · 1 year

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I am. I just. I cannot. BREAKING MIRRORS???? ADHKHHIJJDJHDHRHHHRHEH. Comfort? I feel like it’s been so long since I’ve read comfort on your blog 💀💀. Not that it’s a bad thing, the angst is exquisite, but like hurt/comfort is one of my favorite tropes. This was also exactly what I needed. I’ve been feeling really down abt my body lately how it’s too big and not proportioned right and how my face looks gross. Stuff like that you know? I was not expecting to be hit with this kind of comfort. It’s exactly what I needed so thank you so much for writing it.

Shirtless fictional characters are always a great motivation 😌. Oh speaking of which i might just hop on Pinterest and start looking for Izana fanart 👀👀. I WILL NEVER BE ANNOYED IF YOU START POSTING TR CONTENT ON YOUR BLOG WHETHER THEY BE FICS OR MANGA PANELS ILL TAKE THEM ALL. *ahem* Also. I went into the episode expecting to fall harder for Nagi. But no. I fell for Reo as soon as I saw him. THE HECK WHAT IS THIS SORCERY I DONT KNOW A SINGLE THING ABT HIM AND IM IN LOVE HES JUST AADGJKHFHHFRR YES. When you say you’re excited abt posting your angst wips my guard goes up immediately it’s not even funny anymore like pls I wanna say spare me but I also need more at the same time 😭💀. I read your post and I’m so excited for more Bachira and Chigiri content!!!! Bachira being my favorite character and all. And also Chigiri during the last episode shot an arrow into my heart. Even tho I had some reservations abt him before watching the episode its all good now. I have another pretty boy to love 🥰.

DUDE I NEED TO TALK ABT THE FIC CAUSE IM JUST ASTONISHED. Like Nagis was so so so sweet if made me go awww so many times. And Oliver made me giggle a lot it’s adorable. And Rins? Phew sir no need to mess with me like that 😮‍💨. I also really liked how you described all the negative thoughts of the reader. A lot of them are what I think abt myself when I’m not feeling the best so it was really relatable reading it. Thank you again I don’t think you know how much reading that meant to me it’s exactly what I needed seriously.

How are you btw? How’s uni? Also I’ve been meaning to ask but what’re some of your favorite things? Like in general? Shows and mangas and books and snacks etc? I always get on here ranting abt stuff but I wanna let you know that I wanna get to know you too. It’s a two way straight you know? Only if you’re comfortable sharing ofc. I hope you’re taking care of yourself and that you have a good day!! *sends virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

Starry! ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ I hope yk i changed the screensaver of my phone to tr - I blame you for that (lovingly ♡)

This is gonna be a long ask ;

So i had this idea for a while and since I have a hub of angst works on my blog, I wanted to try a hand at comfort but with an angst to fluff (yeah i love that troupe as well) the reason I made this piece is cause of both, to indulge myself in writing comfort as well as to comfort people who are reading it and another element was capturing the realism of it... like. Usually when I read body positivity fics... the details of it are very vague. I wanted to put in something that was more descriptive, reasons why you hate that part of yourself- tiny details that do matter; and I ended up creating this. I was hesitant in posting this at first but then I reminded myself that it was for me and for a person on the other side of the screen who could be comforted by it when they couldn't really talk about these to someone or just in general.

And I'm glad it worked ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ And I hope you feel better now

I plan on making more editions and going further, it might include more sensitive topics as well-

Istg. When i saw kunigami without a shirt *saves image*, and Rin *saves image*, Nagi *saves image* but I really wanna see Oliver

૮₍˶Ó﹏Ò ⑅₎ა

Oh god Izana fanart. I did find one on twitter and istg the amount I- reason for my laughter. (contemplating if i should make this my screensaver or not)

I have a tr content supporter!! I had an idea in mind for the tr boys in mind- and since i got hyped for it. I'm gonna start working on that once i read the manga cause i wanna make sure this fits in the character analysis as well. Rindou came to mind for some reason

Chigiri is pretty! I can't stress enough on how he looks good and I even figured the footballer he is based on- Reo is officially Nagi's caretaker; so mature.

Oml i'm making a reputation for myself with the angst i write... but there's the thing; for every angsty piece i write, i always make sure to put a sequel that is equally satisfying and comforting (in a weird way and not in the complete lovey dovey way) it takes time to make those because if I rush it, it doesn't end well with me being angry about the low quality I wrote and the readers being unsatisfied as well... but yeah I know what I wanna write for Bachira and Kaiser (yes. Kaiser is arriving on his royally spoilt ass on this blog)

Going back to the fic, so on how I write nagi I use a lot of the "..." cause I imagine him to be a timed pause speaker; as for Oliver. He is playful and yeah that made me giggle too. (its the 'cold cup of water' isn't it?) as for Rin go to horny jail *bonk* i couldn't imagine him to be the type to talk these kinds of problems out cause he is rude. and he knows it so he dommed his way through it (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) and i am not sorry.

So i know that my bio says 'part time model' but truth is; most of the content is based on my experience. like i mentioned before, the details of body positivity fics are very vague. But what I wanted to do was get down and dirty with it, expose everything and not keep it under wraps because it continues to be hidden yk? people can't openly talk about it when these kind of minor things do exist and they can cause a person's confidence to tarnish and maybe have other people think less of them. And I hoped that this would make someone's morning read when they're getting ready for college, uni, work etc. when they aren't feeling their best and need that kind of confidence... even if it is just from reading my works. and always, you're welcome !! it means a lot to me when my writing helps someone even in the smallest ways ♡꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱

i'm doing pretty well, working on some research papers and stuff, working out as well just having a slow and easy week and keeping everything in balance yk? Roomies are helping me with the weights at the gym- said i was a pussy if i didn't get another lift in. istg i'm gonna smack their ass with a wet towel this week

As for uni, new story. Another classmate of mine, lets call him victor, tall as a tree just walks up to me during recess the other day and goes 'that is one ugly shirt.' he looks like he hasn't even showered for a month and turned up to class wearing pajamas. fucking. pajamas. ugh. (I did tell him that if that's the way he flirts, I'm surprised his ex didn't break up with him sooner- i am not sorry. )

Some of my favorite things... hm. That's a tough one.

I like rainy days, dogs (i want a cerberus so badly- ⸝⸝⸝╸▵╺⸝⸝⸝; i'm good with cats but some of them like to scratch me for some reason?- childhood memory unlocked), pink shirts - i have a lot of them and my roomie steals them, warm blankets, swimming, basketball (i play), red roses, oceans, perfumes, plushies, bears and whales, music, working out, sketching, traveling, reading and just... talking to people.

Shows : I was watching skam (not the french one- the Norwegian one), normal people, extraordinary attorney woo young woo, dark (that. show.), sense8 is on my watchlist- i did watch a bit of it but never got to complete it, the tail of the nine tailed- i wanna finish it but it was stretched out and i didn't want to watch after a bit (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

My roomies are into k drama and they think anime is 'cartoon.' - when they see the budget used int he eps tho (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

Anime : there is a lot since I've been watching anime since i was 5, Zatchbell/ gashbell was my first and i watch it sometimes, sailormoon, bleach (never got completed), Jojo's bizarre adventure (watched it all the way to stone ocean- god. the joestar fam is so blessed, Lisalisa (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) , Tokyo rev (i was watching it with my mom and she got mad when I watched an ep without her), death note (my dad got invested with it and then dropped it- let me see if i can get him to watch bllk this christmas cause he is a football maniac), kaichou wa maid sama (my fav misaki is my idol), blue exorcist, hanayori no dango (this was used to make boys over flowers), kuroko no basuke, Kamisama Hajimemashita (my mom loves it -), Tomie, another, naruto, yamishibai, AOT ( my siblings just have debates about the whole conspiracy on the table and this time,,, I know its gonna be about tr) - there are a lot more animes so i might have to make a separate post abt that

Snacks : Since I'm part asian... ik you guys are (probably) gonna figure out a bit of my ethnicity cause of it Guava with chilli powder and salt. It tastes amazing and its healthy too; pears, apples. Pocky, pringles, coke (yeah i have an unhealthy side too) and meiji's yan yan a lot of chocolate.

Manga/ books : Blue lock (caught up with it), slam dunk, tomie, chainsawman, tokyo rev - i think i have some panels saved, black butler, bleach, your lie in april, skip beat, nana, don't bully me nagatoro - yeah i've read one too many manga (even that hentai one that released earlier this year) and I bought one- confidential confessions

Books : my fav is probably anne of green gables - read it when i was younger but it is still fresh in my memory, reading Sigmund Freud (interpretation of dreams...), memoirs of a geisha (a gift from my aunt), verity (something that kinda but doesn't haunt me), sherlock holmes and the hounds of the baskerville was my first novel, it was kinda a picture book.

It's a mess ik. but i mostly read non fic works as i grew older. And yeah it goes both ways! idm sharing !! ꒰ᐢ. ̫ .ᐢ꒱

Tell me about you! Only if you want to tho!

*sending back big hugs*

Presenting Bachira in a b day suit \(//∇//)\

#Belle.☏#.lost sheep : ✨ anon

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terraliensvent · 3 days

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Since i know you said this was the end of the xiao talk, i’ll keep this pretty breif

people tend to stay away from Xiao because they are very closed off and only speak to their friends, but it’s not that hard to get to know him and appreciate things. Yes, he’s made some mistakes, but he’s being blamed for a lot right now, which i don’t think is really fair. Plus the heavy lack of proof on things lol.

as for where you said you might apply for mod, that would be interesting. You’d continue to run the blog i’m sure, but I feel like you’d might run into a few troubles trying to handle both. If you do however, i’d be excited to see where that heads. your judgment is good on a lot of the topics that come up here, it would be nice to see your stance on things.

sorry i’m aware this isn’t really a vent. just thought i’d state my mind !

post related

yeah i can understand people not liking someone just out of not liking them, but its a different beast when people come in my inbox saying that they were WHOLLY responsible for the Reckoning. like i feel like thats just factually incorrect. you dont need a moral reason to dislike someone, sometimes you can just say someone annoys you.

as for the mod stuff, i would love to apply for mod when/if applications open. with bug and coy in charge it felt very cagey and honestly kind of imposing, but im very inclined to apply now just from the fact that tycho went out of his way to reach out and talk directly about critique (yk, the stuff that actually holds weight, not us just going “coy sux lol.” its fun to make the jokes but someones gotta sit here and sort out the real critique from the shitposting lol), it really gave me a good feeling and i have a lot of hope knowing he has executive control now.

youre right about the troubles with handling both. i honestly dont know if i could hand the blog off to someone else since ive kind of made it circle around my own voice but i think that i wanna implement new rules on here just to make it more palatable (mainly the namedropping stuff)

i think if i did get on the mod team i would keep the blog running but maybe make some changes to things here, just stuff to maybe curb back the way that topics got pretty aggressive. i think it could be interesting to have a direct line of contact from anons to the mod team, and with the fact that theyre probably never gonna bring back anonymous suggestions, i think i could be able to sort out the stuff that holds no weight from the stuff that actually makes good points and pass them along.

and im unsure if i would even make it known whether or not i became a mod because a. privacy concerns, and b. i wouldnt want to make any other members uncomfortable because i know that vent blogs like this are really polarizing.

i have some stuff to think about with this, and keep in mind the whole thing IS a big “if.” in the event i apply and dont get accepted then we can have anon funtimes as usual

#closed species vent #terralien #closed species #terraliens #mod rambles

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spectral-kitkat · 1 year

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other anon has a point abt how prevailing teenage marauders are. dont get me wrong, i love them, i understand the appeal and i dont blame teens for writing teens, but i fell in love with the adult characters in the books and i'd like to see more of them. im working on some fics for them (especially remus' lost years) for this reason. be the change you want to see in the world! (as an aside: i think the "bully" label in the marauders fandom is annoying as hell. regardless of its accuracy, it usually goes hand in hand with ppl claiming the marauders are bad or morally grey people, and ultimately, they were just people. just teens in the 70s, which were a lot different from teens from the 2020s. and while there's snape's worst memory, there's also also them becoming animagi for remus and james reacting LIKE RON DID WHEN THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO HERMIONE when snape calls lily "mudblood" and them joining the order of the phoenix right out of school. flattening them to "bullies" is missing the point, just like calling molly abusive or a bad mother is missing the point of the weasleys)

I think the whole Marauders/Snape situation can be summed up with saying: Teenagers suck!

They’re both right and both wrong on many different things. They’re a bunch of teenagers stuck together in a castle for 7 years! A castle that has a very deeply rooted house rivalry that did not help matters! There was definitely fighting from both sides! All 5 of them are extremely complex characters but that all gets lost when the arguments about which side is better start.

The main issue about the whole conflict imo:

Snape stans taking snape’s worst memory as 100% fact that the marauders were bullies and horrible when that memory, as awful as it was for him, is from Snape’s pov which is obviously going to be heavily biased.

On the flip side marauder stans can’t just overlook what happened during said memory and act like it never happened.

Both Snape and the Marauders have good aspects and bad aspects to their characters during their teenage years but all of that is missed when it gets turned into pitting them against each other and arguing about which lot are the angels of the story which lot are the evil ones. Not everything is completely black or white and some people forget that in the grand scheme of things.

And this is coming from someone who loves the marauders and doesn’t like Snape.

I can see Snape as the morally grey and complex character that he is, i can appreciate he has a very fine line to walk so he doesn’t get discovered as a spy but that doesn’t mean I have to like some of his actions.

Same with the marauders. While I love their friendship and everything they did for each other, I don’t have to like the (for lack of better term) bullying they inflicted.

I know this answer was a little off topic but I think it’s kinda difficult to discuss the Marauders and the “bullying” without bring Snape into the discussion as he is the main cause of friction when it comes to Hogwarts in the 70s. However feel free to comment if I missed something out or you want to talk about it more (if you do though it might get a late response as it’s currently 2:30am where I am and there’s high chance I’ve gone to sleep 😅)

#answered asks #harry potter #harry potter marauders #marauders era

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wasflypaw · 3 years

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Every time I try to have a look into the c!Dream enthusiast side of the fandom, mainly on Twitter... whether its bc I accidentally stumbled across a post, whether its bc I saw it in a tag, whether its bc I saw a screenshot, whether its bc it literally had "c!Dream antis read this" in it, whatever, its ALWAYS something that makes me feel mildly nauseous. And it's getting harder to avoid - I've blocked all the blogs but more are popping up

In an effort to stop the fandom "dehumanising" c!Dream by... seeing him as the abuser and villain he is, they dehumanise every other character and in a really personal, offensive way as well

c!Tommy - he and c!Dream are "bad for eachother", c!Tommy was "annoying him", c!Tommy "brings out the worst in c!Dream", talking about his existence as if he's Just been a burden to c!Dream, talking about The Exile Arc as if it was some sort of "necessary evil", a means to an end, as if c!Tommy needed changing for the SMP to have a happy ending. Never, ever using language that makes c!Dream sound like 100% the abuser and 100% the victim, sneakily dancing around the topic or using words that place part of the blame on c!Tommy himself. Feeling more sympathy that c!Dream was stuck with the kid that annoyed him soooooo much over the fact that c!Tommy was literally stuck with his abuser. Making out as if his POV is unreliable and you cant use it as your sole judgement on c!Dream as if he's not the only guy c!Dream shows his TRUE colours to

Wilbur - Despite people begging not to, Horrifically misusing words with very heavy meanings like "xenophobia" and "colonization" to describe c!Wilbur making a country on untouched land and hating Americans as a British dude when the Americans did not suffer or lose anything not bring allowed in L'Manberg. Completely removing his trauma (yknow... The Final Control Room.) and mental illness to make him out to be the Big Baddie. Use literally any other words!!!! Idc if you think he's in the wrong or that he took c!Dream's land or whatever!! Just use other words!!!

c!Sam and The Prison - Do I have to explain why referring to c!Sam as a Corrupt Cop and Comparing the Prison to an Irl Prison can be bad or offensive. Do I Really Have To. I once saw a post saying if you dont support irl Prisons you cant support c!Dream being in the prison

c!Sapnap, c!George, c!Puffy, etc - "Cutting off your toxic friend is bad, actually!" c!Dream has repeatedly hurt c!Sapnap by getting his pets killed, destroying his house, helping destroy his Eiffel Tower, c!Dream was Trusted With Mars and he unnecessarily gave it to Tommy. Etc. The final straw was him witnessing what c!Dream was doing to c!Tommy and c!Tubbo, two other people he cared about as he's allowed other friends. And him helping lock c!Dream away for their safety is seen as "abandoning his spiralling friend" and "something c!Dream shouldnt forgive him for". Its like,, if your friend repeatedly hurts you and everyone you care about, leaving them for your mental health is Not a bad thing

And the thing that spurred on me making this post:

Ghostbur - Basically c!Wilbur with repressed memories. This is a whole ass being with thoughts and feelings, right, yet he has issues with memory. Like... a disability perhaps. I've seen some of the grossest things about him. In an effort to downplay Doomsday its "Ghostbur wouldve forgotten anyway". When talking about his literal death its "an opportunity c!Dream could benefit from" or "c!Dream was desperate, he had to!" as if they're talking about some sort of tool to discard, as if Ghostbur is lesser... Its Disability Pride Month rn, btw, and I Just saw this shit be said

Fictional Characters Or Not, The Rhetoric You Use Can Hurt People.

I'm sick of being guilt tripped, seeing them say "they hate us because we like c!Dream" it's like?? No,,, I hate the Uncomfortable Stuff You Manage To Say About Every Character!!!!

I dont hate You Personally because I Do Not Know You Personally. I Do Not Think you believe this stuff irl. I would not break up a friendship if a friend thought any of this stuff. But that doesnt make it any less uncomfortable seeing it casually just.. Out There. Like I'm c!Dream critical but I've shut down people saying shit like "c!Dream probably enjoys being hurt in prison he's probably not human lol" because that's bad!!! Do Not Say Stuff Like That!!!

I actively dissuade people from saying stuff like "c!Dream deserves it" or whatever. But I'm still accused of invalidating his trauma because I.... said I wanted less tonal dissonance in the prison and it didnt feel like I was watching someone whose been tortured for months on end when watching Dream act out his character... when I repeatedly make sure to say stuff like "he has been through the worst pain on the SMP", I use the word "torture" every time, I refuse to downplay it, and I Never defend c!Sam or c!Quackity on what theyve done. Theyve done that shit, there's no downplaying or shifting the blame. I even shut down anons telling me c!Dream has been faking his trauma in the prison for attention because that too is uncomfortable!! I Try My Damn Hardest Man!!!!

The shit I've had in my askbox bc I dared not be sympathetic to c!Dream while his abuse victim hasnt had a healing arc yet is...

1. Because of an ask I got saying Dream is portraying trauma he hasnt experienced and it's okay to be critical of his acting (Months worth of torture and solitary confinement in a prison cell) I got vagued by someone telling others I was invalidating Dream's actual experiences with abuse irl?? That I said he was faking going through that?? How fucking Dare you accuse me of that AND weaponize your CCs real life trauma that you have no right to talk about Like That in apologist discourse??? Do you hear yourself??? I still want an apology for this btw.

2. I got told "its kinda weird" that I dont sympathise with c!Dream in prison, then this person actively twisted my words about the acting to make it seem like I'm saying c!Dream hasn't been traumatized or saying he should Act More Traumatized as in.. the character. It's like. Damn I dont accuse yall of invalidating trauma when you say Tommy's acting is kinda weird tf

3. The anon calling me "deranged" and "a BAD person" because of the above. More offensive language to add to the growing pile! Bc your fictional abuser matters more than what you say to a real life person :')

There's A Reason people are uncomfortable with c!Dream apologists. It's not due to a double standard, it's not due to just watching Tommy's POV or whatever,

Its because as someone whose been through similar shit to c!Tommy, someone whose had to cut off someone close to me because they hurt me, someone who has grown up with debilitating mental disorders, etc. I see the shit you say and I stay away. I see the anons you send me and I stay away.

This morning I saw a post directed towards c!Dream critical people, saying you should read it to possibly change your mind. And so I did, and two paragraphs down I saw shit like "c!Dream was stuck with the bane of his existence, the guy he hated so much, cant you see why he killed him" and it's like Damn I'm never giving yall a chance again!!! And these posts will never have a warning for victim blaming bc they dont think they're doing it.

This is becoming an even worse problem and I BEG of the fandom, not even Just c!Dream apologists, to watch their language and how they talk about these characters. Because for a series that's so dark and relatable, people dont treat it like it is...

#abuse tw #torture tw #ableism tw #LONG POST #victim blaming tw #dehumanizing language

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probably-haven · 3 years

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Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should.

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can. Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it.

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows.

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over-

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings. I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is.

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other- Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action.

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways.

-Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though.

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips.

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself.

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt. - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing.

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth. - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced.

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that.

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead.

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin venti #xiao #venti #xiaoven #genshin analysis #genshin headcanons #xiaoven headcanons #xiaoven analysis #this is a mess i really shouldnt be putting all these tags but oh well #oh wow the grammar and spelling here is truly repulsive #sorry to all my english teachers i have failed you all

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hermitcraftheadcanons · 3 years

Text

Scattered AU Masterpost Part 2 [COMPLETE]

Due to post length limit (which is apparently a thing), this AU has been split into two parts. Find Part 1 here!

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Contributions:

- Mumbo has a pet ravager miscellaneous ideas: the ravager is actually a bit small as far as ravagers go. Once Mumbo leaves to go to the hermits, he doesnt take the ravager with him, for fear the environment wouldn't be right for it. However, the ravager follows him and Iskall, startling both when it comes running up to Mumbo. The ravager does not like any of the hermits, however it doesn't attack them because it can understand that Mumbo cares about them. - anonymous

- related to scattered au and "what if this happened to old hermits too" -- python's stuck in a death loop in a bastion (his spawn is right next to a piglin brute). he has no clue what's going on but by god, does he blame zloy - Anonymous

- Consider: Etho's mask protecting him from the flowers that gave Hypno so much trouble. - @/rayveewrites

- (Scattered AU) After Etho dies accidentally at the spawn haven, his spawn takes him to Xisuma. Xisuma is clinging to life when he gets there, and Etho only has time to grab his admin's arms and promise he'll be found before Xisuma passes away. Etho and Xisuma get a few hours together to work on getting Xisuma to the surface before Etho starves to death, and he's transported somewhere else. After that Etho makes it his mission to cycle through spawns as quickly as possible to help Xisuma and anyone else who is trapped in their spawn graveyard, no matter how much his legs start to fail him from the damage starting to linger from building into the sky and leaping off to respawn over and over. - @/petrichormeraki

- Some honorable mentions from my written summary for mumbo in the au: the illigers being terrified as he keeps coming back no matter how many times they kill him; he gets adopted by evoker; he fails at evoker magic, like so bad he cant even dye a sheep; the evoker being so done with mumbo that they beg the vex to give him magic; mumbo summoning scar when the vex get annoyed at how often he summons them, mumbo eventually summoning bdubs after scar's contract to mumbo runs out.... and so much more - @/therainofsweetmelody

- Moobloom!Hypno attracts bees - @/itsabork

- Not too long into his messenger journey, etho remembers what had happened to impulse by the time he, zed and tango had found him, which inspires him to try and die in a different way each time he sets off to find another hermit, partly to avoid becoming resiliant to certain death methods and partly for the challenge - Anonymous

- Because Doc hasn't died his death messages haven't been showing up in the chat. The other hermits don't know if he's even in the same world as them. - Anonymous

- (Scattered AU) More on the Mumbo accidentally summoning Scar thing; the summoning has "opened" the chat for them, but only between Mumbo and Scar. All evokers can call on their Vex, after all, so why not an evoker in more-or-less training? - @/petrichormeraki

- (alternate headcanon) There's so much discussion in the server, I wouldn't know where to start restating. However, I wanna mention one thing: scar spawning in xisuma's first spawn, deep in a geode down under ground. Being trapped in an endless death loop due to the warden lurking just outside the geode, forcing scar into the same loop xisuma had been trapped in so long ago. Not only does he have to deal with the separation from bdubs once they got out of the end, now he seemingly cant escape the warden's clutches.... - @/therainofsweetmelody

- Admins log who knows how long: I've finally managed to get my helmet some repairs with this I could get some plugins to start working hopefully. Considering the situation going on, I better not have derped to hard on this, not now. - Anonymous (singleplayer sleep now works)

- (Scattered AU) Because the code is glitchy for mob hermita, Jevin would spilt when injured too much. So while X and Jevin are trying to get to the surface, they encounter a dungeon or a mineshaft and Jevin gets fatally injured. X starts freaking out cause he doesent want to be alone again and he cant bear to watch Jevin die infront of him and risk getting lost and seperated and Jevin just splits, theres two Jevins now and X doesent know what to think of it.While there are two Jevins, their consienceness is split between the two and his motor skills are more sloppy and X notices and realises that Jevin loses more of himself the more he splits. So while he has a lower chance of losing Jevin to an unfortunate accident, Jevin slowly reverts to a slime the more be splits and the more be spends time as multiple entities. X worries that if Jevin splits for too long or too much, he might lose Jevin - @/itsabork

- The only portal to get out of Hels and into the overworld is an incredibly complex vault boarder line weapon built by Hels Doc and Hels Mumbo and the location of the portal is known only to a few and it changes every season. Now cue Helsknight and Wels sneaking all around Hels while trying to look for this basically impossible to find and get into way home. - anonymous

- It takes a while, but eventually those outside of hermitcraft start wondering why all the hermits collectively disappeared. Sure, they started a new world, and sure they’re usually more secluded, but it’s been months. Skizz wonders why he hasn’t heard from Impulse in a while. All the legates wonder where Python went. Everyone’s confused when none of the hermits turn up to the next MCC. Things get weirder when none of them sign up for the one after. -🟣

- Ok to add on to the daisy ravenger post, on his way to 0,0 Mumbo found spawn spawn, slo when he arrived everyone had him at sword point, expecting angry illiger noises they were surprised when they herd "GUYS IT'S ME!!" - Anonymous

(Note: Hermits at the haven currently include Joe, Beef, Hypno, Scar, Bdubs, TFC, Mumbo, and Iskall, in order of arrival. XB is en route, and Etho was there briefly before dying and respawning elsewhere.)

- Pix and Zloy would be the first to notice the hermits' absence. After all, they do a weekly show about them. Maybe they just decided to have a few weeks of downtime before moving to the next Season? Though surely it wouldn't take this long... - @/rayveewrites

- because im a legacy sucker, the legates would likely be the first to notice the hermits' disappearance. between zloy being on the server, skizz being part of zits and very close to impulse, pearl knowing a few hermits, plus python literally disappearing. what they'd do about it? no idea.to keep it more on the topic of hermits though, don't think about how devastated skizz would be to find out what impulse went through. don't think about it :) - anonymous

- Hello I have produced thoughts! I don’t have room for both so I’m sending 2 asks -when Iskall arrives at the mansion all of the illagers are wary; if one of mumbo’s friends are here then he must be leaving soon. Despite their initial feelings they’ve come to care about this idiot that wandered into their house, and they’re fully aware he has no survival instincts whatsoever, so when he does end up leaving they send a ravager to keep him (and his friends, they suppose) safe -@/haworthiaace

- so like... hear me out ok what if the reason the whole world is corrupting and weird and why a lot of people are like slowly turning into mobs is because maybe this is the way the game and the mobs are turning on the hermits for like making really inhumane farms or something like that and the mobs somehow messed with the code of the world to get revenge - anonymous

- Scattered AU!! Biffa spawned very concerned and on a beach. Where is he? How did he get here? Is he alone? Well one of his questions was answered quickly as he heard a constant buzzing sound come from his communicator, upon opening it he saw probably millions of death messages. He quickly realised this was probably supposed to be a new season of hermitcraft, but he didn't really have time to think about it, night was quickly approaching and he could already see drowned swimming towards him. - Anonymous

- How many times did X die to that Warden? Maybe he develops something to counteract the Warden’s sensors, or that his heartbeat slowed down to the point that his suit can barely pick it up (therefor making it harder for the Warden to track Xisuma down). -🦊

- Etho tried his best to fight the system and not get any new features from all his deaths. But, the game has its ways. Slowly, after every death he has, the less alive he comes back. (Undead!Etho, could be ghost, zombie variant, or skeleton variant) -@/harley-the-pancake

- Other hybrid characteristics Hypno gets of the moonbloom: His ears turn into golden cows ones, the horns grow in, he gets a tail, and little flowers grow though his hair and wrap around his horns. He can also grow flowers around him as long as he has dirt, but thankfully they dont do anything beyond smelling a lot stronger and smelling very nice (and maybe a bit of evoking certain reactions, but nothing beyond what normal flowers can do, ie lavender being calming, just a bit more intense) - anonymous

- Beetlejhost ended up in the world along with the hermits, spawning as if summoned: in the middle of a circle of beehives. His spawn is in the birch forest near the s8 spawn, and his presence spooks anyone who stumbles across him. He blends in concerningly well with the black and white of the forest. Beef feels like hes being watched whenever he goes in the birch forest to get supplies, but joe never notices a thing. He teases the hybrids about their changes, leading him to get swiftly decked- - @/therainofsweetmelody

- beetlejhost spawns in a circle of beehives in the birch forest near spawn. he thinks he's invis, in reality it's just his stripes making him blend into the birch trees. he can't leave the circle of bees, ah how wonderful it is to bee bee-tlejhost - @/justme123abz

- Beetlejhost doesn't mean to be mean, really, he just has really, really bad timing. This includes seeing a pollen-stained Hypno and, with his gravelly voice, immediately say "Woah! Someone had some fun in the sun! Tell me, did you spend a week rolling in dandilions or do you just like the color yellow?" This does not go over well - Anonymous

- Speaking of hybrids, Xisuma spawned in a Wardens den right? Well unlike the other hybrids, Xisuma has been changing too but its been slow. Every time he spawned back in that place, on the warped ground, he's changed. He doenst notice the dark starts to seem less dark, until noises get louder, until he's more sentive to it then he noticed, he gets stronger and breaking though the stone with his bare hands seems a bit easier, its not until he finds Jevin and he points out the glowing horns (1)peaking from his temples when his hair is pulled back hastily that he realizes that something has gone horribly wrong with him. Thankfully Jevin helps ground him before he can freak out, so he shelves it for later, once they're out of this cave. The warden that once was down by his spawn is no longer there btw, disappeared. The horns grow slowly, and soon glowing vein like markings appear as well. (2) - Anonymous

- Okay, Xisuma, we established he spawned in the deep dark, right? As time goes on he adapts to the dark. The skulk sensors grow on him. However as time goes on, they not only grow on him, but become a part of him. His footsteps quiet to near silence, and he can feel sounds. He certainly isn't how he was when he entered, at first glance he might even be mistaken for a warden. - Anonymous

- Tango is the only hermit other than Mumbo Daisy kind of likes. Tango thinks Daisy is absolutely adorable, and Daisy does like the positive attention(and the treats). - Anonymous

- When tango meets mumbo’s pet ravager he loses his mind, he tried so hard to get the decked out ravagers to like him and then mumbo just waltzes in riding on one of the things! He ends up hanging around her a lot and eventually forms some sort of relationship, although not as close as he would like (he also gets a little more sympathetic once he sees the effects the evokers had on mumbo, he figures the guy earned a pet ravager) - @/haworthiaace

(Hermits now at the spawn haven, in order of arrival: Joe, Beef, Hypno, Scar, Bdubs, TFC, Mumbo, Iskall, Tango, Impulse, Zedaph. XB is en route, Wels and Hels are traveling through Hels to get there, Ren, Doc, and Grian are attempting to get there but their success has been limited so far)

- Scattered!AU: Idea that Ex is the ONLY one that knows what is going on and how to fix it perhaps (maybe 'cause of having been banished to the void for so long)? That's why he's trying to find X. - Anonymous

- Admins log: day 1006: Me and Jevin finally see sunlight, and I've managed to get the clock function on my helmet working, finally. As we're on our way to the surface, I only hope that I can find someone or something to help guide us to where we need to go, but unfortunately I've lost all signal to chat, and I think we're next to a woodland mansion. I think I've derped up this time.

- Dear Xisuma, if you see this message then the log is working, also fixed the clock in your helmet it's been 50 days, not 1005. I was about to leave with Iskall when I noticed you and Jevin outside with a few, erm, "buddies" of mine you two where passed out and I managed to stop them from killing you with Daisy, my pet ravenger. I'll explain everything later and spawns in the village are working, finally. I recommend not moving much and work on the data packs for a bit before you do anything elseExplanation log to Xisuma part 2: Sorry if the last one got cut off abruptly, apparently there's a limit to these messages. Any way please take care of yourself. Sincerely, your pal Mumbo Jumbo

- Admins log, day 51: I first want to say thank you Mumbo for bringing me up to speed and explaining why and how me and Jevin are here, next I want to say that these logs may slow down for a bit, I'll be working on some maintenance for some packs. I still don't know why this is happening, I now hope this is a wicked nightmare and not our reality. Hang on I see something over there it looks like, wait let me ju- Voice logs are off for the moment.

- all one anon

- mooblooms spread the flowers that enraptured hypno. now that hypno is a moobloom hybrid, he can make people "hypnotizd"! he doesnt like to, but if the spawn ever gets attacked, the hermits are winning easily. - anonymous

- I like to think that at some point when there's a significant number of healthy hermits at 0,0 they start group searches to find the rest of hermits - anonymous

- After awhile, if they can't change the spawn of everyone, they begin securing all the spawn points to everyone, so if their bed is ever destroyed in the future, they won't end up in a death loop again. They secure the death loop spawn points first. - @/ciaravixen

- For undead Etho: I know that ghasts aren't technically undead mobs, but they're basically ghosts and that's what I feel etho is becoming?He's leaving his mortality behind bit by bit as he ceases to care about death and starts to use it as a tool instead.One day he'll respawn without a body at all - @/draconic-dreams

- This is just a thought. Sand cant be good for Iskall's mechanical parts, and its not like he has anything to fix it. Does he have to wait to find doc to be able to have hope of fixing himself? - anonymous

- Jellie had spawned in the village that cub and xb had come across, so when xb heads to 0,0 he takes her with him (she'd be safer in the overworld than in the end, after all). Its quite a long journey, and she makes for good company. -@/supertiny-tins

- Grian, Doc, and Ren fianlly start heading out to 0,0. Its a long journey, they decide in the end to leave their beds behind at the cabin in case any of them die so none of them end back at their orginal spawns. they would of just made new beds every time but the lack of suplies and resources near by has been low oddly enough. Doc manages to push aside most of his fears to help Grian and Ren, who are weaker, but he keeps his distance whenever he can. They make many hastily built huts as they go 1most nights are spent sleeping on hard ground, later straight up blocks of wool they find but not beds, just wool is better then ground, and it doesn't do the weaker hermits any favors but it works. There are many close calls, but they manage to avoid death, mostly due to Doc. Along the way they start to find signs of other players, coble in places it shouldn't, a rare torch, half mined trees, but no hermits. They still have a way to go, but they're getting closer to the others and safety. 2 - anonymous

- Etho once found himself spawning in the middle of an ocean with nothing and no one in sight except of course... A faint trail of lights dancing beneath the waves... Pulsing and glimmering, almost in a rhythm, something so fascinating, so... So... He was meant to be doing something...? It was... Important... At least... It might have been... It's all.. Kinda hazy... It couldn't have been more important than the lights, nothing was more important than the lights... They were so beautiful... He could watch them all day... Etho never noticed how he slipped beneath the waves, nor how the glow squid's glittering eyes had turned upon him, coiling a tentacle around his waist as it dragged its prey deep into the depths, his eyes hazed with green, he never even noticed his lungs burning for air.And he never remembered drowning after he respawned. - anonymous

- Impulse actually punches through the Nether roof so they can traverse more safely to coordinates given to them by Etho. They leave trails of blocks so they can make their way back, of course. - @/rayveewrites

(Evil X is now hiding out in a cave near spawn)

- Shattered!AU: I see everyone's Warden!Xisuma heacannons and I give you Axolotl!Xisuma. Think about it he's been hanging around with them and Jevin in the lush caves so maybe he's becoming more like them. (Frills, a more pink-ish tint to his skin, the ability to breathe underwater, etc.) :D (Is this because the thought of him having Warden traits is terrifying to me? Maybe. Is it because I think he deserves to become something not scary after his whole ordeal in the Deep Dark? Yes.) - anonymous

- Ever since getting out of the loop, Impulse has had a horrible inner conflict between his guardian side being instinctually drawn to the water, and his human brain being deeply terrified of ever being submerged again. - @/asexualbert

- Because I absolutely adore Daisy, more headcannons for Daisy.Daisy will occasionally just pick Mumbo up gently with her horns when she thinks she isn't getting enough attention. Daisy has a bell collar, because she kept scaring hermits by following Mumbo silently. Daisy is more okay with Iskall than most other hermits, though still doesn't really like him. - anonymous

- Though I'm a sucker for angst, what if Impulse was saved by a dolphin pod or something instead of transforming into a hybrid (or after transforming if Guardian!Impulse is cannon). :3 I can picture dolphins don't take kindly to the Guardian Mobs, might even find them as prey if anything since they're fish. (Guardian!Impulse wouldn't count since they're smart enough creatures to tell the difference.) - anonymous

- Prob a bit early for epilogue stuff but I like to think that, once all the glitches are fixed, that those that became hybrids and would prefer to be back to normal get changed back. - anonymous

(Shade note: Personally, I'm a sucker for stories where the characters adjust and learn to live with the unexpected changes to themselves rather than having them magically fixed, but this option is certainly still here for the people who find it appealing)

- For the scattered au, after the numerous frozen deaths Grian's gone through he starts hearing voices from the snow, even from within Ren's cabin. A snow golem forms after a wandering trader drops a pumpkin and watches from outside the cabin, deciding to guard the place after taking a liking to Grian and Ren. - anonymous

- When Etho became fully ghost, it hit hard. BeetleJhost saw this, and after a while decided to teach him how to show his form and speak. It takes a lot out of him, but it’s worth it. His friends deserve that closure. (Listen, I was expecting angst, I just wasn’t expecting that much angst.) - @/harley-the-pancake

- Mod Shade, I want you to know that angsting ghost!Etho that hard was entirely on you. I was picturing him clipping through blocks and dropping items at inconvenient points, not fading out of existence entirely. - @/draconic-dreams

- Possible explanation for everything going on in Scattered:Players were never supposed to be so powerful; in the natural state of Minecraft they're just another mob, albiet one that can craft and use any tool.But the Players weren't satisfied with that. Everyone from the admin of the smallest server to the mythological ‘dev team’ has been imposing little changes on the world since its inception, slowly tweaking it into a better environment for Player-kind.A single spawn at the world's centre. The ability of Players to chat from one end of the world to another -- even across different worlds. Even natural regeneration, an ability unique to the rarest and most powerful of mobs. As time marched on, Players not only unlocked these things but began to take them for granted, drawing far away from the behaviour of normal mobs. This became normal. Players continued to create datapacks and run commands that tweaked the very nature of the world. -@/draconic-dreams

(Shade note: Perhaps it was just a random glitch, one fundamental line of code removed to shift the balance of power. Or maybe it was orchestrated, but by who and for what purpose? Either way, it will take the Hermits a while to realize this, and even longer to fix it...if they can at all.)

- Jessasin spawned in a mesa biome, of course he's confused on how he got there and why he's in this random vanilla world and not his usual modded world, but both questions got pushed aside when the death messeges arrive. He exploared the area gathering as much recourses as he can and goes off too find someone, anyone really. - @/ghan-does-things

- hello! I discovered the scattered au literally yesterday so sorry if this is something that has already been gone over but I had an idea about bdubs, what if his constant exposure to the void and surviving on nothing but chorus fruit for who knows how long made him slightly enderman-y? 1/2 (sorry, couldn't fit the whole thing in one ask)Like nothing obvious at first, but making eye contact makes him agitated and snappy, touching water makes his skin tingle and if you look at him in the dark his eyes seem to have a very faint pink/purple glow about them? Maybe the other hermits swear he's taller than he was the last time they saw him? And the tips of his fingers are blackened, he assumes due to frostbite, but it seems to gradually be making it's way further up his hands? again sorry if this has been gone over already 2/2 - @/plantichu

- Okay so after Welsknight and Helsknight manage to get past the crazy vault door in Hels, not sure how but it probably involved a lot of cussing on Hels part and Wels saying that he never wanted to look at redstone ever again. The portal takes them to the overworld near Xisuma and Jevin. - anonymous

- (scattered au) The first set of non hermits to join this corrupt world are two strangers that apparently came from infinity's grasp. The good news they both spawned at spawn, bad news the brought the tnt duper flying machines, good news that everyone was able to calm them both down. Now the fun begins. Tldr Illmango and Methodz finally get out of the infinity portal. - anonymous

- Loving the Scattered AU. Late to the party, but was looking at the wider MC community reaction to the Hermits vanishing. Once it's clear something bad's happened, would the Legacy crew and whoever else (former Evo squad members like Martyn and Jimmy as well, if they notice Grian go dark) take steps to find out what happened? Would they go to the MCC server (it's kind of a nexus between worlds) & get Noxcrew to try "pinging" the HC server? Would X & other admins see it but be unable to respond? - @/wixelt

- I dont know if anyone has mentioned it but uhhhh, guardian xb? he was a guardian hybrid before everyone got scattered like Ren was already a wolf/dog hybrid. iirc xb spawned in a desert which would be a very interesting place for a guardian hybrid to spawn - anonymous

- Etho has been so, so desperate to avoid dying the same way twice, to stay himself. He hasn't drowned that many times, he thinks. Surely, surely he's starved more often? There's a strange feeling of deja vu hanging over him when he respawns in the ocean, though he can never understand why. Each time the squid finds him, he drowns a little slower, and each time, he glows a little stronger.And he just can't understand, almost refuses to, as he treks from biome to biome, where the small green bumps that line his arms and face came from, how his fingertips seem to almost glow when he scoops a handful of water, how long he finds himself simply staring… at the moon, at sea lanterns, at torches, at lights… He would die a different way every time. He had to. He had to stay Etho. He would not become anything else. - Anonymous

- When Mumbo comes riding into camp on Daisy, it’s easy to see Impulse is not happy about the ravager being there. That’s expected, it’s not exactly everyone’s favorite mob to see around a safe haven. But when Mumbo and Impulse make eye contact, the evoker can’t help but make a simple warding gesture his friends at the mansion taught him- it’s a reflex move. Days later, Mumbo still isn’t sure if Impulse flinched because of Daisy’s sudden growl or his ward. - @/fluffy-papaya

- (From the Discord) What happened to the world: For years, seeds and the land they built had been carefully curated by those known as players, in an effort to make it both easier and more interesting for themselves. But the land doesnt want to be controlled. Their glitched, broken world is a result of the world itself rioting against their presence. Coordinates aren't visible with the debug screen, their coms only serve the world, to tell the players what it knows. Compasses spin wildly in the overworld, for there is no "world spawn" (though coordinates are visible with one in hand. Small mercies are still given). The world resists any further changes by the simple fact it refuses to accept what a hermit communicates. Maybe it's fixable, but maybe... maybe it runs deeper than just their world. (The Legates caused a lot of damage with all those withers, after all.) - @/basaltdragon

- While Iskall is in the desert, he ends up dying quite a few times, enough to adapt, he becomes like a stray, so now, if we have skeleton Etho, we have 3 undead hermits - anonymous

- When everyone is finally gathered and they manage to come together to use all their skills, new and old, the hermits use it to flee back to Season 7. They stay there for months, mostly to heal and adjust to what happened to them. (Trauma isn't easy) Those who have friends or family off server get invited to visit, but the hermits don't leave, they nearly lost each other and they aren't willing to risk it again right now. They'll make a new season 8 at some point, the hermits are too (1/3)restless and too ingrained in their ways to completely disregard how they've always done things, but that will come when they feel better, safer, more put together, when they can finally stop sleeping in a big pile becuase they're afraid the others will disappear. They never go back to that old glitched world, the idea makes them sick, and X starts the new practice of sending in the 'Cam' and/or 'alt' accounts in first to check out the world and set up commands and plugins remotely first. (2/3) What happened before will never, ever happen again he swears it. Next time they might not be so lucky after all [if you can call them all being traumatized, many of them dying over and over again, some being permanently altered, and barely escaping lucky] (also feel free to save these asks for near the end of the au!) (3/3) - anonymous (Shade note: I personally like the idea of them fixing and learning to live in the glitched-out world, but this is another alternate ending!)

- (From the Discord) What happened to the world: Alternatively, what happened is exclusive to their world. (I don't have Dramatic Storytelling for this one, sorry) EX has ADHD to the max, and everything he does is a desperate attempt to get Noticed, to get looked up to and listened to. He's known it was "wrong" for a while, hence why he took X's name and added "Evil", but he never seriously wanted them to hurt. Just to listen to him. He'd meant to come in and fix it all and finally be a hero. He didn't realize, either through haste or inexperience, that he too would be at the mercy of what he'd done.Maybe he does, eventually, make it to where the hermits have gathered. But does he really want to admit everything? (RSD had burned him before, and if there ever was something to place the blame on his head...) - @/basaltdragon

- lasting effects of deaths

- a large amount of assorted ideas

- The bell they put on Daisy was originally of the type that are put on cats, but Grian ended up switching it out with a cowbell because he hated the sound - anonymous

- False, Keralis, Cleo, and Stress make it to spawn, bedraggled and exhausted. Out of all the Hermits, they are some of the last to arrive. Along the way, they’ve encountered trials innumerable that have left them beaten and bruised, but after months of travel, they’ve finally made it.Shortly after leaving the Moobloom field, they came upon an abandoned cart in the middle of a desolate village. With some of the redstone they had found and whatever magic they managed to scrape up, they turned it into a sort of vehicle that allowed them to travel much faster. It had a habit of breaking every six seconds or so, but nothing they couldn’t fix. For the most part. A few accidental combustions aside, they crossed the server in record time.Once at spawn, False has to be forcibly restrained from immediately starting guard duty, and several of the Hermits have to physically wrestle her into a bed in order for her to get some rest. Stress starts up a potion factory the next day, and also starts decorating the spawn with the flowers she’s collected during their travels. Keralis helps out wherever he’s needed, but in his downtime, he constructs an elaborate warren of tastefully decorated, industrial tunnels under the spawn, just in case they might help. Cleo mostly just stays in bed, creating elaborate dioramas and mourning the loss of her zombie side. She’ll get better, but it’ll take some time. And that’s ok with the rest of them. - @/topazastral

- When Doc, Grian, and Ren finally make it to 0,0 there is no fanfare, no dramtic entrance, no revulation. They were travling and suddnly, there was a base, a hermitcraft base, and they could see people. Grian clambers to feet shakily from the shed, nearly falling but Doc and Ren catch him and toghther they help him walk foward and call out to their friends. They are safe now, they're here- Is that mumbo on a ravager what the hell? Wait thats Impluse? Seems like Grian wasnt the only one changed. - anonymous

- Jellie reacting to vex!scar headcanons -she recognises him instantly. The moment she and xb arrive at spawn she darts straight towards him. Of course, she cant figure out why he looks different, but regardless, thats her owner and she demands pets!!!-sometimes she will jump up and try to pounce on his vex wings, because shiny moving thing! Scar picked up on this very quickly and will move out of the way before she gets the chance (vex wings are rather delicate and a pain to get fixed)-whe she's bored, she will always go to mumbo and daisy for attention first. This makes scar rather jealous and she knows that damn well-Scar will sometimes pick her up and fly her around not too far from spawn for a few minutes. Nothing she isnt used to, as he flys with the elytra all the time, but something about flying with vex magic just feels... different. And fun! - anonymous

- Contrary to the enderman bdubs, ender dragon bdubs. His eyes aren't the normal brown, and are instead a bright magenta, he also now has ashen gray horns. - Anonymous

- Scattered AU: The intended world "theme" Xisuma had set up for Season 8 was Large Biomes. This was before anyone knew something was going to go wrong, of course, but it's had a horrible lasting effect in the glitched world. Not everywhere has generated as "large", so when Hermits are travelling they'll sometimes find normal sized biomes, and other times they'll find one biomes that stretches an abnormal distance in all directions. Grian and Doc's mountain range is one of these large biomes. - @/wixelt

- For the scattered au, the snow golem follows Grian and Ren (and Doc) to the spawn haven, for a few days the hermits are wondering what's leaving behind snow trails and zombie flesh, so they decide to have a night watch around this area. Ren volunteered and waited, half-asleep he nearly nearly gets hit with a arrow when he hears the sound of a skeleton getting hurt. He sees the snow golem and uses his sword to kill the skeleton. The snow golem tries to flee but Ren realizes and stops it (1/2)He welcomes the snow golem and introduces it to Grian and Doc, (where the snow golem warns him that it is keeping its eyes on him in its own language). Spooked, Grian tells them that he can understand it, and the golem tells him that he's been following them since their time at the mountain. They decide to give it the name Catmint and it helps guard the hermit's base at night (while giving a stern look at Doc every now and then.(2/2) - anonymous

- (Scattered au)Seeing as we now have 3 different variations of Etho, I raise you: all 3 at once. It turns out Etho was not in fact human, instead a shapeshifter who didn't know that he was, the deaths simply sped up the process, whereas before, while he would change slightly, it was never fast enough to be noticeable - Anonymous

- I had this idea some time ago actually but I thought it was silly but now that the au in ending might as well say it. It doesn't make much sense now with all the new development srry. What if one day Mumbo was callibrating his comunication monstrosity, and suddenly his communicator had signal. He called and called but whoever was a the other side didn't pick up, until they did and Mumbo was overjoyed, but the happiness died down when he could only hear chocked sobs and sharp breathing and (1)teeth chattering. Suddenly a voice whispered, little and fragile "h-h-he-lp". Mumbo knew that voice too well. Before he could even open his mouth to let his best friend he was coming for him, he'd be okay, anything, the breathing stopped. The call was still going, but no one was at the other side anymore, Mumbo hung up with tears in his eyes, and he swore he'd find him and he'd help him. (2) - anonymous

- Scattered AU: While there's still time for them: Mumbo was the furthest Hermit out in the Overworld, & didn't set off for over a year, yet wasn't last to 0,0 (with Iskall) by any stretch. More than half the Hermits seemed to arrive after him. This can be partly attributed to Daisy making good time, but it makes you wonder how many trials & tribulations impeded False, Stress, Cleo and Keralis along the way? How much Ren, Doc & Grian were slowed by Grian's condition? What took xB or Biffa so long? - @/wixelt

- Once everyone finds each other, at the world spawn, after the initial shock, and fixing of the world of course, the hermits all decide to settle much closer to each other. They were separated for quite a while, so it makes sense why they'd decide to keep close. Some groups also make shared bases. - anonymous

- I sort of want grian to be a bit more inhuman so how about grian’s skin on his arms, legs and most of his face permanently blackened by the severe frostbite and the rest of his skin has taken on a bluish tinge, his hair is no longer the Gold it was before but almost snow white with a tinge of dark and light blue, his ears and tail are snow white with what appears to be frost and ice growing on them (1/2)(2/2) grian can not cry because the tears will immediately turned to ice, he can’t swim because if his body touches the water the water will freeze over, his skin is cold to the touch and whatever he moves his body it will make a cracking sounds like breaking glass or smashing ice, no matter how warm it is he can always see his breath... i’m trying to think of more but I’m coming up blank so that’s it hope you like it. - anonymous

- bc i cant stand when cleo is unhappy: the moment she and joe reunite, joe realizes how horrible it is for her to have her body messed with against her will. and as an admin, he can modify her code to put her back to how she was in previous seasons (aka not totally rabid but still undead) - anonymous

- Admins log final day: I'm glad we'll all be able to wake up from this nightmare, and we're able to get an exit portal going thanks to Mango and Methodz having a backup of the key to open the infinity portal's power, we should be able to not only go back in time, but destroy this broken timeline. Were all grateful for them, and I did invite them both to help us incace this happens again. This will be the last day in this timeline, if you somehow found this helmet with these logs, thank you. :-) - anonymous

- Grian, Doc, and Ren find it hard to stay away from each other too long, especially Doc and Ren becuase they've been taking care of Grian for such a long time so they find themselves kinda hovering over him and Grian finds himself seeking them out even when he's with other hermits. The other groups, who've been toghther for awhile, do it too probs - anonymous

- Soon as Grian and Mumbo see each other, they launch themselves at the other and hold on for a long, long time. Iskall join in soon as he wanders by and they talk for hours about what happened, looking over Grian's new fox parts and the blue marks on his hands, Mumbo gray stained hands and magic, and just Iskalls overall experience. Also Grian's little fox buddy absolutely loves Daisy and vice versa. Its not uncommon to see the small fox riding on the ravager's back while Daisy scares people. - Anonymous

- I know I'm a bit out of loop w scattered au & is probably getting things wrong but consider this, when Mumbo accidentally summoned Scar, leaving Bdubs alone, Bdubs freaked out. The very person that meant rescue & hope for him back in the end is now gone, he felt like he's back into the void again and he thought Scar abandoned him because he's too weak & is a burden to Scar. (Yes I am currently drowning in Scardubs angst) - @/anthosaidsmth

- The glitches in the world didn't only happen to the Hermits, it happened to all worlds created in 1.17. The cause remains unknown, though it is believed that something or even someone corrupted/changed the code (what/who is up to imagination. In the case of the latter, so is the motive). My idea, we've already confirmed that Watchers are arrogant jerks so perhaps they couldn't stand the fact that players learned to do things against the rules that they put in place, and did this out of spite. - anonymous

- A bit late but I see all the Fox!Grian headcannons so what if Grian spawned in a jungle and slowly became a parrot hybrid instead? How idk, maybe resorting to eating seeds to prevent himself from starvation because there is no animals in this jungle.

- Here's a thought: The Hels!Hermits were also effected by whatever caused the scattering. They may all hate or annoy each other, but not having each other around to pick on isn't very fun (neither are death loops). Perhaps some of them gain humility over this or learn to be at least a bit nicer to each other and their counterparts. (or some of them find sadistic amusement in their counterpart's miseries) - anonymous

- Finally, once everyone has made it safely to spawn and the problems with the world have been resolved, the season begins. Some of the Hermits may have changed (more than just physically) but over time, they adapt and recover. Grian eventually starts yet ANOTHER war, Tango gets to build DO 2.0 (X is terrified at the fact wardens are involved), and Cleo becomes a coach on 'how to be a mob hybrid' (unless all new hybrids get returned to how they were before by admin powers or just being players). - anonymous

- With all the glitches fixed and all the hermits starting to get back to their normal (Well as normal as it can be after all of these), I wonder if Scar is still a vex. All the hermits just adapted to their situations, but Scar is different, he made a deal with the Vex. - @/anthosaidsmth

- It takes all of the hermits that changed a while to get used to the changes, but eventually they do, mostly through help and support from the other hermits - anonymous

- I had a wee idea and it's a little silly but I like hurt/comfort so maybe after all the scattered au events have passed and the hermits are all together living safely, every winter some hermits invite Grian to their bases to take care of him since the snow and the cold are very bad for him. Sometimes he gets fevers but most of the time he just needs a warm blanket and someone to distract him from the snow. This is also making me wonder if Grian could develop chinophobia (fear of the snow). - Anonymous

- conclusion

Art:

- An Evoker Mumbo

- Evoker Mumbo with Daisy

- Evoker Mumbo summoning Scar

- a Guardian Impulse

- assorted doodles here and here

- A two-part Impulse comic

Writing:

- some Etho lore come back to haunt him (pt 1)

- Cleo sharing mob-hybrid tips with Impulse

- Executioner

- Fish out of water

- Homesick

- Thalassophobia

- The General's Wager (pt 2)

- The Undertow

- Saviors

- Bdubs falling

- For lack of blue shiny rocks (pt 3)

- conclusion (pt 4)

- EX in the Deep Dark

- this road I'm on's gonna turn to sand

- Snapshots

- a multi-chapter Scattered interpretation written just before the real season 8, complete with some outside lore and crossover

- Scattered Across The Map (series of parallel multi-chapter fics)

- One Hundred Thousand Worlds Away

#hcraft #hermitcraftheadcanons #hermitcraft #hermitblr #scattered au #mod shade #Masterpost

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bonnyskies · 4 years

Text

his sweet omega ⇢ jjk

he’s your alpha, and you’re his sweet omega.

pairing — alpha!jungkook x omega!malereader,

genre — fluff, omegaverse au, college au, roommates au, friends to lovers au,

warnings — age-gap (the reader’s eighteen and jungkook’s twenty-two), swearing, past mentions of fuckboy!jungkook, jungkook is very soft for the reader, both parties are oblivious for the other’s feelings, and brief mentions of male pregnancy

requested by — anonymous

author’s note — honestly really loved this request so thank you to whoever sent this to me. and just a small heads up, this is my first time dealing with anything with werewolves so forgive me if there are any mistakes on the topic. i’m still learning about this type of au.

word count — 3k

masterlist

“—and he just told me that he couldn’t date me anymore. No real reason, just that he can’t.”

Jungkook couldn’t believe what he was hearing right now. How could Jaehyuk, your now ex-boyfriend end your guys’ six month relationship without any explanation? It wasn’t like you two had any problems, if anything the two of you were perfect for each other.

Jaehyuk—just the thought of his name already made Jungkook’s blood boil—was an alpha, and since you were only an omega, he protected you like an alpha should and treated you with complete respect and equality, unlike how other people do to omegas. That’s what made Jungkook like him when you first introduced them to each other, because Jaehyuk wasn’t like any other alpha. He was kind and didn’t order you around and treat you like you were his property like most alphas did to their omegas.

Jungkook still remembers the day you introduced him to Jaehyuk, because the image of your big smile and wide eyes shining with passion was engraved in his mind. It was just like any other day, Jungkook was on the couch in your guys’ apartment, waiting for you to come home from your morning lectures so that you two could go out for lunch together. You came back on time, but you also had someone else with you—Jaehyuk. At first, you introduced him as your classmate but from the way you glowed as you spoke about him told Jungkook otherwise. He joined you two for lunch that day, and Jungkook swore he never saw you blush so much, always shielding your face whenever Jaehyuk would compliment you.

You were so in love.

“I’m going to kill him,” Jungkook found himself growling, eyes flashing their crimson color as he tightened his arms around you, listening to your muffled cries into his chest.

“N-No, dont.” You whimpered out, sniffling and lifting your head to meet his eyes. “That won’t solve anything, Kookie. It’ll just create more problems.”

Jungkook smirked at his nickname, leaning down and pressing a quick kiss on top of your head. “He deserves it though. Nobody hurts my sweet omega and gets away with it.”

Even though your face was hidden from him, Jungkook could already tell you were blushing. You always get flustered whenever he uses his nickname for you. “Can I please beat his ass?”

You laughly softly into his chest, and Jungkook swore he could feel his heart stammer inside. “No,” you pouted, running your fingers along the fabric of his shirt. “Can you just stay here and watch movies and eat junk food with me?”

“Of course—,” Jungkook was cut off by the sound of his phone’s ringing before he had the chance to finish his sentence, causing him to slip one of his arms from you and check to see who was messaging him.

“Who was it?” You glancing up and attempting to peek at his phone, but Jungkook already shoved it back into his pocket.

“Nobody,” he answered bluntly, shrugging. “Just Jimin, wondering if I’m still going to his party tonight.”

You frowned, “You can go if you want.”

Jungkook grinned at your sad expression, pecking your head again before saying, “I’m not going. You need me, not Jimin-hyung. Plus, I rather be here watching movies with you.”

This time you couldn’t stop yourself from blushing mildly. “Thank you,” you mumbled into his torso, your heart beating roughly and uncontrollably inside your chest.

Jungkook smiled, leaning down and gently running his lips along your cheek. “Anything for you, my sweet omega.”

And that’s exactly how you two spent the rest of the day. Laying on the couch, watching endless amount of different kinds of movies with Jungkook’s strong, muscular arms resting around your waist, keeping you secured against his chest.

When the morning came, Jungkook tried to persuade you to stay home and take a break from school just for today, saying how you deserve to have one day of relaxation. But really, he just didn’t want you to run into Jaehyuk alone. And since you two were in different grades—him being four grades higher than you, he wouldn’t be there to protect you if you did end up accidentally running into Jaehyuk.

You refused, of course. Jungkook wasn’t surprised though, you’d always been stubborn. Saying how you weren’t going to let one boy and a broken heart prevent you from attending your classes.

But now, Jungkook couldn’t stop worrying about you, wondering how you were doing right now. His mind was so consumed on you, that he couldn’t focus on his professor’s lecture. He didn’t realize how long he’s been distracted by you until one of his classmates broke him out of his thoughts and informed him that the class has ended.

When leaving the classroom, Jungkook checked the time—it was half past ten. He still has another hour and a half until your morning lectures were done. So he did what every other student on campus did when they needed to kill some time. Chill at the college’s lounge.

Jungkook sat alone at the one of the tables in the very crowded lounge, scrolling through his social media as he patiently waited for you to meet him here. And still, his mind continued to worry about you running into Jaehyuk. You were only an omega, a small, shy, innocent omega and there was no way you could defend yourself—both physically and mentally from someone like Jaehyuk, an alpha.

With his mind practically torturing him, Jungkook finally decided to go and meet you at your class’s building instead of—

“Hey, man.”

Glancing up from his phone, Jungkook’s jaw clenched and his shoulders tensed when seeing your ex-boyfriend standing right in front of him. At least he knew now there was no chance of you running into him anymore. Jungkook could feel his fingers tightening around his phone. It was taking everything in him to refrain himself from beating the absolute shit out of Jaehyuk. His inner wolf practically howling for a fight. “What do you want?” His voice low, eyes glaring threateningly at him.

Without saying anything at first, Jungkook watched as Jaehyuk reached into his backpack and pulled your—his sweatshirt out. “{Name} left his sweatshirt at my place, and I wanted to give it back to him today during class but he’s avoiding me.”

“Can you blame him?” Jungkook spat, snatching his sweatshirt from Jaehyuk’s grasp. Even after not wearing it for so long, he could still smell his scent on it along with yours.

“Okay, I deserve that.” Jaehyuk sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, an awkward tension forming between the two of them. “Alright, well that’s pretty much it. See you around—”

“Why did you break up with {Name}?” The question came out of Jungkook’s mouth faster than this mind could comprehend it. He knew this was none of his business, but he had to know. The image of your crying state was still burned into his head, and it tortured him. He needed answers.

Jaehyuk sighed, running his hand frustratingly through his hair. He glanced at the empty seat beside Jungkook, and when the older alpha nodded his head approvingly, he sat down next to him. “Because he wasn’t mine...”

“What are you talking about?” Jungkook raised a brow at him, shifting himself to the side so that he was fully facing the younger alpha. “You two were together for six months, dude! {Name}’s crazy about you.”

“I know that we were together for a long time,” Jaehyuk groaned, tilting his head back. “But he never felt like he was mine, even to this day. No matter how many times I’ve tried to scent him or mate with him, he always refused.”

“You tried to mate with him?” Jungkook seethed, a growl forming in the back of his throat and his eyes shining their usual alpha color of crimson red. “He’s still a virgin, Jaehyuk! You shouldn’t force him to do something that he isn’t comfortable with yet—”

“I know!” Jaehyuk snapped, banging his fists against the table, earning some curious and annoyed glances from other students. “But I was sick of everyone constantly forgetting that we were together.” He confessed, “Even though we’ve been on dozens of dates together, kissed each other many times in public, people still didn’t believe that we were boyfriends. They thought that...”

Jungkook stared at Jaehyuk confusingly, noticing the way his hands were slightly trembling out of anger. “They thought what?”

“They thought you were his boyfriend,” Jaehyuk mumbled out, frowning.

Jungkook’s heart dropped. Other people thought you two were together? “Why would people think that?”

“Are you fucking stupid?” Jaehyuk suddenly raises his voice, eyes flaring. “It’s because you’re always around him. And when you’re not, your scent surrounds him.”

Jungkook sighed, “Listen man, there’s nothing going on between me and {Name}. We’re just friends—close, childhood friends. We grew up together, and since he’s an omega and I’m an alpha, I’ve just got this natural tendency to protect him.”

“What you’re doing isn’t protecting him,” Jaehyuk commented, “You’re owning him.”

That caused Jungkook to scoff, “That’s crazy.”

“Is it really?” Jaehyuk questioned, cocking his head to the side. “I’ve seen the way you act around him, Jungkook. You always make sure to have your scent on him, whether that be either wearing your clothes or—,” Jaehyuk then winced, closing his eyes briefly before reopening them. “—scenting him personally.”

Jungkook’s hard expression dropped. Even though he didn’t want to admit it, he was right. He always made sure his scent was on you before the two of you left for classes. It wasn’t his intention to make it look like he owned you. He just didn’t want any horny, asshole alphas to force themselves on you—a young, unmated omega while you were alone.

“I’m his—was his boyfriend.” Jaehyuk stated. “He’s suppose to smell like me, not you. I’m an alpha too, like you, and yet people spread around saying that I shouldn’t even be considered as one because I can’t keep a single fucking omega!”

Jungkook frowned, guilt coursing through him. He knew how possessive alphas can be, he’s experienced it himself—with you. For an alpha, reputation was everything. If word got around that they couldn’t keep their omega—or ‘property’ in check and loyal to them, it would damage their reputation greatly and they’d be seen as weak.

“Listen man, I didn’t mean make you feel that way.” Jungkook stared at him sympathetically. “It’s just that I’ve known {Name} since we were kids. We grew up in the same neighborhood, we been through everything together. I guess there’s always been a part of me that wants to make sure he’s safe and protected.”

Jaehyuk sighed, leaning back against his seat. “It doesn’t matter anymore, we’re done.” He then stood up from his chair, pushing it in and slinging his backpack over his shoulders. “You should go for it.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened, “W-Wait, what?” He stared up at Jaehyuk with confusion. “There’s nothing going on between me and {Name}—”

He was interrupted by Jaehyuk’s laugh, the younger alpha shaking his head. “Come on, man. Have you completely ignored what we’ve been talking for the past half hour? You’re crazy about him. You’ve practically marked him without actually marking him.”

Jungkook lowered his head to hide the blush that was creeping up his face.

“It’s pretty obvious that you have feelings for him, Jungkook.” Jaehyuk continued, standing above him. “I’ve heard the stories about your reputation here. How you used to sleep around with anyone that caught your attention. But then you stopped when {Name} moved in with you. I’m right, aren’t I?”

He was. Jungkook couldn’t even say how many omegas or betas he fucked in the past. But when you told him that you got accepted into his college, Jungkook instantly offered you his apartment’s spare bedroom—saying how it’s cheaper to live away from campus than to pay for a dorm. Ever since then he hasn’t slept with anyone—let alone invite them over. It’s been months.

“T-That doesn’t mean I like him—,” once again, he was interrupted by Jaehyuk’s laughter.

“You don’t have to pretend anymore, dude.” Jaehyuk attempted to reassure him, clasping his hand onto Jungkook’s shoulder. “{Name} feels the same way about you.”

Jungkook felt his heart stop and eyes widened. “W-What?” He stuttered out, “No he doesn’t. Why would you think he does?”

Jaehyuk rolled his eyes. “It’s not that hard to figure out, man. Whenever he’s upset or happy about something, you’re the first person he goes to. He cancels our dates for those weekly movie nights you two always have. And when we do have dates, he’s constantly talking about you. Hell, he prefers your scent over his own boyfriend’s.”

He continued to verbally list, “It’s pretty fucking obvious that {Name} likes you, Jungkook.”

Jungkook didn’t know to say. “Just answer me this,” Jaehyuk leaned forward to where his face was inches from Jungkook’s face. “Have you ever thought of {Name} as anything more than friends?”

Jungkook was speechless. Has he ever thought of you romantically? Yes, he thought you were handsome, beautiful even but he always saw you more as a baby brother. But then again, siblings don’t usually scent each other. ‘Siblings’ also don’t sleep in the same bed together, arms and legs tangled with another. With the image of you flashing through his mind, Jungkook couldn’t help but wonder what a future with you would be like.

The thought of falling asleep and waking up beside you every morning, being able to kiss and hold you, and call you his. Mating with you, claiming you—just the thought alone made Jungkook’s heart burst inside his chest. The image himself marrying you, you carrying his children, his pups—oh fuck.

At this point, Jungkook couldn’t stop smiling. He wanted that. That future, with you.

Seeing the expression on Jungkook’s face, Jaehyuk couldn’t help but smile also. Patting his hand gently onto the older alpha’s shoulder, Jaehyuk whispered softly into his ear, “Go for it, man. Before someone else does.” And then he’s gone, leaving Jungkook with his thoughts alone at the table.

Jungkook’s heart was beating uncontrollably, his inner wolf howling loudly, cheering for finally realizing his true feelings for you. Next thing Jungkook knew, he was taking his phone out and messaging you.

jungkook: hey, can’t make it to lunch today. really busy. see you later at home.

And after the message sent through, Jungkook found himself searching for the nearest florist shop.

When recieving Jungkook’s message and reading it, you were confused. He’s never missed lunch with you before, like ever. After replying back with a simple ‘okay,” you headed towards your guys’ shared apartment where you were patiently waiting for him.

Two hours later, you were still waiting for Jungkook at your guys’ apartment, laying down on the living room’s couch in complete silence. As you waited, you couldn’t help but wonder the reason behind his sudden absence. He still hasn’t shown up and you were becoming anxious. This was unlike of Jungkook, completely vanishing from your radar, not replying to any of your messages.

Maybe he’s hooking up with someone right now, your mind thought, making your skin crawl and heart stop. You’ve heard how he was before you moved in with him. How he used to sleep around constantly, always having someone at his apartment. And since you’re living with him now, maybe he’s going to their place instead.

Just thought of Jungkook doing such...intimate things with someone else made your chest ache. You shouldn’t be feeling this way, you knew that. You were with someone for six months, recently, and it’s not like you two were together or anything so Jungkook can be with anyone he wants. Even though that pains you.

But all those paranoid thoughts disappeared when the sound of the apartment’s door opening was heard, causing you to shoot up from the couch and practically sprint towards the entrance. “Kookie, where’ve you been—,” you froze when your eyes landed on him. Right in front of you, Jungkook stood with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

“W-What’s this—”

“This is for you,” Jungkook spewed out slightly aggressively, anxiously shoving the bouquet of flowers into your hands, which you gladly accepted.

“Thank you,” you smiled softly, leaning down and smelling the sweet scent of red roses. “Why flowers, though? And roses?”

“Because they’re the symbol of love.”

Your smile then dropped, replaced with shock. “W-What,” you stuttered out, eyes widening when Jungkook didn’t say anything. Instead he took a step towards you until he was only inches from you, lowering his head down to meet your wide-eyed gaze. His next words made your heart completely shut down.

“I’m crazy about you.” Jungkook said with such calmness, and you swore you’ve never heard your heart beat so loud before. “And I’m sorry that it took me this long to realize that.” You couldn’t speak a single word, you utterly speechless. Taking in your silence, Jungkook continued. “This entire time, I’ve only thought you as a friend. Someone to protect, and I’ve always blamed that slight possessiveness I had for you on my alpha instincts, but it’s not just that.”

Jungkook then leaned down and placed his hands on your waist, pulling you close to him enough to where your chests were barely pressed against each other. “I want you, {Name}. Not just as a friend, but as my boyfriend, my mate.” His words were taking your breath away, eyes swelling up with tears. “T-That’s if you’ll have as your mate,” he then started to stutter, head lowered to hide the blush forming on his cheeks. “I-I know you just got out of a serious relationship, and I-I’m not pressuring you or anything, I just want you to know—”

You couldn’t help but smile at your alpha’s rambles. You’ve never seen him so flustered, so vulnerable before. Leaning up, you silenced him by pressing your lips softly against his, which he gladly accepted and kissed back, tightening his arms around you. The bouquet of roses fell from your grasp as you moved your hands to rest on his broad shoulders, deepening the kiss as your lips moved perfectly in sync against his.

Jungkook couldn’t help but moan against your mouth, the alpha inside him howling, hungry for more, eyes shining crimson red underneath his closed eyelids. If it wasn’t for the need of oxygen, Jungkook could kiss you forever. Your lips was like alcohol, intoxicating. But nonetheless, you both needed to breath which is why you two pulled away, both heavily breathing.

“W-Wow,” was the only thing that Jungkook could say, smiling widely and cheeks blushing mildly. “Are you sure?” He then asked you, eyes shining with concern and assurance. You shared the expression as he did, jaw aching from how hard you were smiling.

And when you nodded, that’s all Jungkook needed before his lips came crashing back down onto yours.

He’s your alpha, and you’re his sweet omega.

#bonnyskies #bts #bts au #bts x reader #bts x male reader #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook au #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x male reader #jungkook #jungkook au #jungkook x reader #jungkook x male reader #kpop #kpop au #kpop x reader #kpop x male reader

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incorrect-spiderson · 3 years

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I feel like ppl will find a way to attack n get mad at at least one thing in every ship. We never said that we don’t like interwebs or dont like nebula & tony or may & peter, but personally i love how peter brought out the father side in tony n made him all soft n stuff, and i cant get that with morgan, only with peter, harley and nebula bc they were the first ppl to bring it out and i like that. And Harley is also a white boy. Of course i still love morgan and tony bc yeah but peter kick started it and you could see tony start to slowly care abt him through the movies. It’s j rlly starting to worry me and annoy me bc there are s o many horrible ships w peter out there and theyre mostly w white males but theyre finding a way to get mad at an innocent father son relationship. I totally get that ppl want more inclusivity tho and i absolutely love may and peters dynamic pls theyre so sweet.

I mean yeah people do tend to try and find things where there isn’t anything. I love tons of different kinds of relationships in the MCU whether they’re platonic or romantic. You cannot, though, compare two different dynamics and say “well this one is taking the spot light from the other one”. No. Not how it works. They are two completely different dynamics. Like if I said Tony’s friendship with Rhodey overshadows his friendship with Natasha and that’s sexist. No, it isn’t. Those are different dynamics. One is friend from college and the other is a friend from work. Akin with Peter and Tony’s relationship I don’t see how people can go “Tony being a father figure is overshadowing May”. It isn’t. May is a motherly figure, Tony acts as a fatherly figure. And fics focusing on that fatherly dynamic shouldn’t be forced to include May as well because they are different dynamics. They are different dynamics. Are there things that could be changed with how fics are written and are these topics completely absent of overshadowing and sexism? No, absolutely not. But you can’t force it into places where it doesn’t exist.

Second topic, the inclusiveness of race. Do I love and appreciate all the poc characters that are in the MCU? Yes they’re wonderful! Are Tony and Peter poc characters? No. They’re two white male characters. Can they change their race? No. Can Harley change his race? No. The races of these characters are the same no matter what and people cannot blame someone for liking a character and shame them for liking said character based on the characters skin color. If it were a poc character it would be no different. I personally believe race shouldn’t be a deciding factor in a character whatsoever because in all honesty I do not see race I see people. I don’t like Peter Parker because he’s white. I like him because he’s funny and courageous and he’s my age so I relate to him. I do not like Miles Morales because he is black. I like Miles because he is an underdog and stands up for what he knows is right and again, he is around my age and I can relate to him. Race has nothing to do with the characters I like. And yes, of course there should be more inclusiveness. But people cannot go around judging people for what characters and dynamics they like based off of skin color.

Anyways, that’s my rant for the day. Anon this just a response to everything btw not just to you love. These topics are continuing to be brought up and I feel like it just really needed to be addressed where I stand on things.

#marvel #mcu #peter parker #avengers #tony stark #spiderman #irondad and spiderson #spiderson #irondad #avengers endgame #cam rants #cambles

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voidcat · 3 years

Text

– “Friend” is a four letter word

Characters: Kuroo Tetsurou / gn! reader

requested by anon, prompt 1

wc & genre: 2k - mostly fluff, a bit angst by the end

a/n: the title is literally a 1 trait danger song title, pls dont come @ me, i just thought it was nice to use bc “love” is a four letter word so yea,, also pls dont ship ppl irl or ask them too many Qs abt their relationshio even if they look so good together n should date bc it is rlly rlly annoying (speaking from experience)

The first you meet Kuroo Tetsurou, you don’t even notice.

It’s not surprising, he’s quiet and doesn’t gather attention. You don’t go looking around and keeping an eye on everyone either. The most is you’re just two fish in the vast sea, unaware of one another, too tangled with your own lives.

Then comes a moment, nothing special, almost out-of-a-movie type. It begins with a joke, if it can be considered that. It’s bad, awfully bad, a horrible pun in the middle of chemistry and from the volume of the voice you can tell they hoped no one would hear. But you do, so does few who sit next to him and your giggles dance around in the air. You don’t notice it’s him at that time but you grow to recognize his jokes in the following time.

Kuroo Tetsurou feels like a mystery when your eyes lie on him one afternoon. He’s not bad looking, a part of a sports team, a key member even. And yet compared to all the other jocks he doesn’t bask in the attention, in fact, he doesn’t receive any. Others like to brag and talk smug, as if they’ve discovered life in an inhabitable area and then there’s him. You can’t even tell he plays in the team if it’s not for the uniform and tracksuit he’s in after classes.

You think to yourself, if only jocks were like him. Still, you take no step and neither does he.

Maybe neither of you need to because the universe is more than happy to provide the nudge you both seem to need.

Funny enough it’s a science project that starts it.

He’s too quiet to your liking, speaking only when absolutely necessary. As you desperately try to kill the silence that hangs in the air, he avoids it as hard, making so little sound.

An idea comes as fast the lights are on and you speak before you even get to think ‘what’s there to lose?’

“No science puns for me? What happened, cat got your tongue?”

To say he is baffled, is the understatement of the year. You’re not sure if he’s surprised you’ve heard him joke or want to hear more of them; but either way, he looks cute, with his guard down, at a loss of reaction, mouth slightly open and – is that a hint of blush on his cheeks?

It only goes upwards from then on.

Awkward conversations is how it begins, seeking each other out in close environments is where you’re leaded.

You find yourself enjoying the way he talks, listening to what he has to say, the way his face brightens up when he starts talking out of pure interest. You only hope he feels the same way about you, and from the way he often discreetly directs you to take the lead and pick the topic, he does.

In a short span of time, you two are attached from the hip. Inseparable, always doing something, going somewhere, discussing a thing or just laughing. Shy smiles replaced with a Cheshire-like grin, almost ironic considering your school’s name, that’s only a new expression on him that you like to see.

It feels freeing, natural; as the sea sighs, the rain drops hit the surface and the sun shines. Two peas in a pod, thick as thieves, inseparable…

This goes beyond high school and throughout university too, which you’re grateful for. Because times come when you wonder where would you be without him, what would you do without his support; so you thank the stars once again, for having him in your life even today.

Then comes the times you wish you didn’t spend as much time together because the people around are being insufferable. All you want is to hang out with your best friend but half that time is stolen away by the never changing questions. Those who keep asking if you’re together, as an item. As if it doesn’t rub the salt in the already existing wound, it sure makes things unbearable. Getting approached by people you never saw before is no fun, neither is dealing with those who have the audacity to think you owe an explanation about your love life.

“But why? The two of you spend all the time together! Sure you must be in love!”

As if platonic relationships do not exist, surely do you have to love someone in that way to care for them? Loving Tetsu is a case that matters to only you, you’re happy knowing he cares for you, maybe not in the way as you but at the end of the day, the bond is there in plain sight, on your sleeve.

“But you guys would look so good together! Have you given dating a try? I’m sure it’d work out! I understand if you want to keep things a secret but come on, you must have had something going on-“

Stop, stop, stop…

It gets exhausting after a while, showing its signs on you, the irritation high and your nerves are at the edge, he notices it not long after.

After a little persuasion, you spill it all out, ranting about the pent up anger you had bottled all week –month maybe. You don’t notice the way his shoulders slump as you talk and go on about the stupidity of the people. It misses your attention how he talks less than usual that day, even after the mini ranting session. You do, however, notice how he starts to act strange around you. More preserved, and not as chatty as much. Holding his touch and avoiding contact, not going out of his way to approach you any longer. This drives you crazy, hurts a part of you and you worry –what if he has grown bored of me? Did I do something to hurt his feelings? Does he like someone and avoids me to get in their eye? What has happened, what did I do wrong? And goes and goes and goes the worries and the dynamics shift in your friendship.

So with the change of dynamics, you try desperately to hold onto what you once shared. Soon enough it’s you who invites the other to outings.

When your coffee offers are denied, you bring up walks, after that study dates, as he tries to ignore one attempt of alone time, you come up with another and one evening you find yourself asking to go to a party.

Campus parties with him, are interesting, to say the least. It stings when you’re separated, a punch to the stomach when he’s awfully close to those who were flirting with him, a new kind of torture when he keeps his talks with you short at the scene but at the end of the day you always leave, together, and you settle with this too, as you settled with all his love you could get years ago.

Some nights with booze apparent in the air, you don’t bug him with questions but each party gets worse somehow, only makes the distance between the two harder.

One night you snap and let it all out, unlike that afternoon it wasn’t an asked question but an aftereffect of him pushing your nerves and once you begin, you don’t stop, letting the storm out and he just looks at you.

You stop and his gaze stays, face devoid of any emotion and you worry, all the words you’ve said dawning on you and with one last attempt you whisper “Aren’t we friends?”

Voice calm and stern, colder than that icy cocktail you had: We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.

Holding back the tears by the corner of your eyes, you blink once and turn your back, steps set on your way. You can’t recall the last time you’ve walked home alone, without him.

Some time passes, days begin to blur and you try not to dwell on things too much or think about him that much. But the brain is a traitor as much as your heart and you find yourself thinking about him too much to your liking. Not sure whether you want him to find you, you keep an eye out; maybe plan to get out of the eye sight when you spot that messy hair but there’s not much need as he’s never around.

At the same time you’re unaware that this is his way of giving you a break, providing the alone time you needed away from him; as Tetsu tries his best to gather his thoughts and shape the sentences to show how he truly feels, what he actually thinks, he keeps an eye out for you. Even the smallest of smiles on you making his racing heart worse but what lands the final blow is how rarely you smile these days. Knowing he is the reason behind, knowing he causes the weight on your shoulders and the ache in his heart, he wishes more than anything to change this as soon as he can but he is at a loss of words and actions and he hates himself for that.

When the two of you are brought together once again, as fate pushes you from behind like it did years ago, you’re not sure who looks up first. But it is Tetsu who speaks first, not giving you a chance to say anything back, call him names or yell him insults. And as he talks, eyes focused on you, locked into yours, his gaze warmer than ever, his voice nothing like that disastrous night.

“I know I fucked up and ruined the best thing I’ve ever had in my life. I have nothing to blame but myself, I know, but please. Even though it’s selfish of me to ask this… Would you give me a second chance?”

Letting go of the breath you were holding, you prepare to answer him. He doesn’t let you.

“One last chance… To start over? Because that one sentence, as cold as it sounded, had a truth to it. And I- I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t go on and pretend like I don’t have- like I don’t have all these feelings in me. I can’t nod along to your rants about how much you hate the people perceiving the two of us as more than friends. ‘Cause you got to admit. They have a point. Maybe at the beginning, yes... But we’ve not been friends, not for a long while. And you know it too whether you want to say it or not.”

As if spoken without breathing once, considering this is Tetsu that was definitely the case ,he gulps and takes a step forward.

“Will you give me a last chance and let me show you how much I can love you? Free of this ‘just friends’ title. Would you let me take you on dates and make you laugh wide and loud? Not just as your friend but as your boyfriend? As your partner in crime and in life, as Persephone is the pastel queen of hell in the realm of Hades, the sun to my Icarus, the Sodium to my Chlorine?..”

His speech was getting to you until the last sentence, your softened body goes stone cold, hands hanging in the air, Tetsu’s last pleads of “would you let me?”s falling deaf to your ears.

The gears turn quick and he realizes exactly which one of his words could leave an effect like this, be so ridiculous and bring you to a halt.

One of those smug smiles you saw on his face often, he says “What happened, cat got your tongue?”

And your mouse hanging open, all you can do is smack him on the arm, as hard as you can, for that awful salt simile and for using your words on you.

Before you know it, both of you are laughing and the air feels warm once again.

tags: @celosiiaa @boosyboo9206

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convxction · 3 years

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🔥

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion | accepting lol | @miraclefates

[ [ hm. something bothers me which is how a mun introduce their muse background or the game lore they are from. I find it way interesting when i ask someone to tell me about their muse a little bit more, or the source they are from; whether a game or an anime and they can actually summarize something neat to read. I find it a little bit red flag like when they just ‘here you go’ and send me a wiki page link. like i will do that. i can do that. i can google that on my own but i want something from your own words. i want to know how you view the world of your muse and how you portray said muse in that world. it’s just lazy and it does not enlist the feel you care about your muse or care about how other people perceive your muse. why i find this annoying too because they sometimes write canon divergent and expect you to read their mind to know that their muse has x thing not y thing like the canon. but i asked you provide me information and you were lazy dont blame me for it. also for oc sometimes people just be so vague about their muse ‘oh they good. they want friends etc’ ok good everyone is good, relatively. i get excited when i ask someone, especially original character muns about their muses and they are ready to provide info on the spot and not just ‘oh idk’ ....i like when they post something length and in depth about the topic so i can read and learn more about their muse and the lore. the back and forth questioning and such is gr8 dude. i want to feel when i talk to the mun they are invested in their muse and want to write fun things and explore more sides of their muse. it is ok if you are uncomfortable with certain plots ofc but i want to see yuor hype for your muse. LET ME HYPE WITH YOU ABOUT YOUR MUSE GDI. I CANT HYPE ON MY OWN. I HYPE ALL THE TIME ABOUT MISTER KRUMBS. so yeah. dont be lazy with introductions. ngl they make or break how i feel about you and your muse. be lazy i assume you are not the type to want think deeply about topics/hcs/ lore. give me information and work on developing your muse, beech im here for you. just say the word and i will make it rain hcs questions. i love sending ppl hc questions about their muses, especially oc because there is no reference to know more about them expect from their muns.

so yeah dont be lazy. give me the goods.

#⚔ooc.⚔ (faty speaks)#miraclefates #[[joan dear..why i think every time you make a new blog you always send me salt things to write #[[or very positive things XDDDDDDDD #[[im crying #[[but yes this kind of bothers me #[[i try to know more about ppl muses and they just eh.#[[i cant read minds gdi.

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luque-moreau · 3 years

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y'know i think its about time ive refurbished my psychonauts headcanons/theories

what??? me??? rewriting my psychonauts headcanons in a more comprehensible and informed way???

alright, i think everyone knows what im talking about, by headcanons i mean headcanon as in singular, and as singular, i mean my "raz is somewhere on the spectrum of adhd".

so lets just get into it:

what is adhd actually?

adhd by definition stands for attention deficit hyperactive/hyperfocus disorder (yes, let me get into the details in just a sec). it is a nerodevelopmental disorder that is almost completely reliant on genetic factors, however conditions during pregnancy can sometimes contribute to certain aspects of how adhd manifests itself.

long story short, people with adhd have a smaller frontal lobe, and therefore less dopamine in general (even though yes, it is more complicated than that).

theres also a little bit of "chicken or the egg first" goin on here, certain behaviors or personality tendencies can also affect how adhd is presented in one individual to the next, however its still not clear if that is because it is an accommodating for a certain thought process or if someones experiences and personality shape their symptoms of adhd entirely. its a very blurry line, and the answer is different for everybody.

hyperactive type

hyperactive type is probably the closest to most stereotypical depictions of adhd, think the 5 year old whos parents brush off their child’s hyperactivity as something that will “go with age”. however, this isn’t only present in children, adults with adhd have to deal with a constant need for stimuli to make up for the lack of dopamine their current activity is providing them. this results in someone fidgeting frequently in repetitive or predictable motions, unable to hold attention to a specific task for long periods of time, or many other of the symptoms associated with adhd.(i sadly cannot provide more information in this area, i am not knowledgeable enough to...)

hyperfocus type

hyperfocus type is a tricky one, it can look like the complete opposite of adhd in theory. hyperfocus can look similar to special interests or hyperfixation, a great deal of time and knowledge dedicated to a very particular thing (although it is important to note that even though hyperfixations and special interests are incredibly similar, special interests is a term more typically used within autistic-circles, and isnt really the best word to use if you happen to be neurotypical). Think of maybe that kid who knows all the cool animal facts and won’t shut up about them. Its because certain trains of thought or activities might release more dopamine then others, so to get more of that dopamine, someone of hyperfocus type will be mentally unable to stop thinking or doing a very specific task or topic. this results in someone seemingly always spacing out, unable to change subjects or changing subjects too fast or with little to no correlation, or being completely unable to have enough motivation to do simple things.

personally i tend to fall under the category of hyperfocus myself rather than hyperactive, however the two are not mutually exclusive, its more common to find people with both types rather than just one. even myself, i might exhibit more tendencies to place me under the label of hyperfocus, but that doesn’t mean i don’t have any symptoms of the hyperactive type. its my personality that affects my mannerisms, which then makes certain aspects of my symptoms more or less apparent. Thats because im an INTP-T, i just tend to be more to myself and constantly in a state of thinking abstractly. I have trouble communicating and even sometimes recognizing my needs, and get to a point where im unable to do the simplest of things without feeling emotionally drained. Thats just my experience though, everybodys different.

so what the fuck does this have to do with raz then?

well lets think about it, rather than have it just be me projecting myself onto a comfort character:

raz finds issue with connecting to kids his age

lets be honest. none of the campers really like raz that much. or at least some do the bare minimum to be try and be polite. it doesn’t seem like any of the other campers besides dogen, whos also socially outcasted, are really fond of raz. lili might like him, but that can definitely be interpreted as curiosity in someone new and different from the norm. It might not be that the kids despise him, but nobodys opinionated enough to care whether he is around or not.

social isolation is one of the most damning things i had to experience from an early age and still feel even today. there is a sense of feeling that you are different among your peers, whether that is a good thing or bad thing. it feels difficult to interact with other people you are not familiar with, and can really stunt you emotionally and socially. from a really early age, theres somethin in you that knows something is very different between the experiences of your peers compared to your own, and it can feel incredibly isolating.

raz and his borderline stupidity

time to get real again. raz is a fucking idiot. at least in the sense that sometimes his decisions seem incredibly spontaneous and not really thought through. he runs from home to attend a summer camp, not really thinking about the logistics of how he will get there, how the staff will react, how long its gonna take for his parent to find him, and so on. it doesn’t seem like he over or underestimates his abilities, he just goes for it without considering. that doesnt seem like the smartest thing to do, even though we know hes incredibly intelligent when it comes to larger, abstract situations. its the little details that he misses, small minuet things that seem unimportant that he overlooks, which can sometimes make things harder for him in the end.

i think its obvious that impulsivity is one symptom of adhd. however i cannot stress how difficult it is to think at supersonic speed and still feel incredibly stupid. i mean, thinking faster doesn’t inherently mean you will have better ideas, you can always be stupider faster, but being able to realize stupid mistakes or inconsistencies in your own thought process is annoying as hell. it feels like every time you try to recognize the issue, fix it, and move forward, you only end up not paying attention to another issue that gets bigger and more annoying than the first. Its always two steps forward, one step back, constantly making the same mistakes even though you try everything in your power to avoid them or grow as a person. The simplest of facts, ideas, or just things to remember end up being forgotten, and once youre reminded of them you remember them and feel like an idiot. however, arbitrary things and complex issues are much easier to digest and remember for me, things like history and the whole blame game charade of it all, biology and how every minuet thing has a greater impact on others and intertwines with every single factor of its environment, philosophy and theorizing why we think the way we do and what can be changed. but oh shit, im a dumbass i forgot to do my laundry. shit. god fuckin dammit.

empathy over sympathy

one of the basic themes of psychonauts is empathy. simple as that. raz goes around into other peoples brains, and tries to help them as much as he can, even if his efforts are not always successful in the way he intended. he never demonizes anyone to the point of unredeemability, and can empathize and understand other peoples perspectives. hes open to new ideas and

although some studies out there theorize that empathy is impaired due to adhd, from my perspective i feel like that is simply not true. if anything, i would say the sensitivity that comes with adhd (hypersensitivity) only enhances that empathy. i could definitely see social disconnection being one of the reasons it might appear that someone with adhd is less empathetic, however i would doubt that adhd would impair a persons empathy. adhd tends to also entail heightened emotions, this doesn’t necessarily mean a more outwardly emotional person, however it definitely shifts a persons perspective of their own emotions as well as others. the concept of hypersensitivity also completely contradicts the idea of people with adhd be less empathetic.

miscommunication and disconnect

sigh, the dad thing. yup. raz has that very iffy relationship with his dad at the beginning of the game which is eventually resolved. very abruptly, might i add. but thats not what this is about, thats a topic for another day. miscommunication seemed to be the root of the issue, however we only get razs side of the story. not to mention the severity of his claims and willingness to seemingly drop everything afterwards. kinda sus, ngl.

alright this ones a doosey. this, i feel, cements my theory pretty well. like i mentioned before, social disconnect and hypersensitivity are side effects of the symptoms of adhd. this means people with adhd are highly more likely to either misinterpret someones words or actions if those in question are not completely transparent, its because they tend to overthink and interpenetrate responses with too much thinkin n such. the social disconnect makes a whole lot of it worse, it can just pile on top of already established feelings of inadequacy and isolation. and oversharing as a poor coping mechanism isnt an exclusively adhd related thing, it tends to be shared within similar neruodevelopmental disorders such as autism or even ptsd. i find it incredibly easy to disconnect myself from my own emotions at times and think critically at what i feel and how it affects me. which is a bad thing. if i dont acknowledge my emotions like they are my own for too long, everything falls apart. its not fun. but, that disconnect can make talking about certain more traumatic experiences or instances that had deep personal effects on my life and development as a person much easier to just share. and not always in an appropriate manner, comedic opportunity can be v e r y enticing. this also explains why raz might have been able to drop everything about his dad after he apologized. he didn’t really, he probably still suffers just as much afterwards as he did before. but he probably wont realize that for awhile, since logically, the issue has been resolved. long story short, he has not had the time to cope, and to put that off he detaches himself from those feelings. w a c k

of course i have other reasons why i feel like raz could potentially have adhd, or at least be accurately represented in headcanon with adhd, some minor mentions being:

he uses his camp map as a journal to track his in-game progress, list of goals, and notes/snip-its of information. writing down information on some form of notepad or book is a common tool used by kids and even adults with adhd to help them keep track of minuet, individual tasks. its just using a planner, but with a bit more information.

just from my personal perspective, the lengths raz goes to pursue his dream of being a psychonaut feel more like a special interest/hyper fixation sort of thing. he can jump between having genuine conversations with his fellow campers and just exploring the campground, to investing himself entirely in obtaining his goal, even when it seems almost impossible. thats some serious dedication to one very specific thing, y’know?

this one isnt as solid as the other but: m̶̖̰̯̫̍͝o̵̦͖̟͈̹̤̥̝͐̿̄̀̀̎̓ņ̶̛̭̠̐̊̆̍͝ķ̸̝͈̺̙̰̊e̶͉͚̼̅̔͗̂͐̍̕͝͝y̶̦̖̼͖̪͎̝̖̠̐̑͋̾̔̑́͐͘ ̵̢̲̘͎͉̔̀͒̄͌͊̀͌̀m̴̲̫̮̪̖̍̐͆̕͜͝ͅả̶͙͚͗n̶̗̳̩̙̘̼̦̦͇͝ ̷̡̨̡͔̗͕̘͍̥̑͒̎̐̃g̴͔̔̈̅̐̏́̌̔̈́́o̶̥̱̽̆̂͌̀͗ ̶̝̩͙͕͛́s̴̛͓̥̲̜͓͚̣̠̆̓̌͌p̶̜̹̯̦̫̯̣̎͐̽̉̾ḙ̴͇̬͑̈́̐̈́͘͠ͅȅ̶̡̗̞̩͔̫̪͈͑̓͗d̵̠͇͎̜͔͇͒̈́́̀̅̈́̒͘y̸̡̦̠̻̖̥̿ͅ. yeah, its the most generalizing reason but look, hes moving nonstop the entire game, climbing and running around the entire goddamn place wrecking havoc. a bit of imp can be found in most people with adhd if you look hard enough.

so thanks for reading this far i guess? im oversharing even right now with this, like an i d i o t but yknow what i dont want to read the great gatsby rn, so ive got nothin better to do. who knows, maybe the second game will give us more info to either support/discredit this theory? gotta wait for pn2 i guess

:^)

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #theory #headcanon #razputin aquato #this is real biased #isnt it

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savnofilter · 3 years

Text

TW: MENTIONS OF DISCOURSE, GR//MING, P/D/PHILIA, ASS//LT, C//NSENT, D//RK CONTENT.

- this isnt under a read more because i want people to read this, but please read past this/tread carefully if you cannot handle such topics. this is not meant to be interacted with.

I'm not sure how to really go about this. I've been overthinking if I should address this and bring up some stuff while I've been gone, so sorry the absence. I deleted the tumblr app a few days ago and I downloaded it again today so i could post this. I really don't like making posts like this because it cuts the vibe that I've been trying to portray that everything is okay and it makes me feel really disconnected to you guys. I am sorry for the abrupt absence and cutting off any source of communication between us. I knew if I left any form of direct line of talk to me that I would receive hate and I just mentally decided that I cant sit through being harassed right now.

Have you guys ever paid attention to the same people who always have a statement to say or is always in discourse? It's very telling how everyone can post about me, but I shouldnt dare post about them. I'm tired of not being able to post about what I want without people vague posting about me, bringing me up every time they start another discourse with another writer or directly talking about me. My days on here are starting to feel the same. Its good then it goes bad. Good goes bad and bad goes good. It's not even tiring, annoying, or angering -- its repetitive. When I'm not saying anything people create fake stories about me, and when i speak about it im the one starting discourse. Don't get me wrong, I'm nowhere near perfect and I have made my own mistakes. But why the fuck am I always being told to be the mature one, why am I the one who should've done better, why do you people expect so much from me. It's the fact people are always quick to say, "no one cares about you, youre fishing for attention" when they're the ones who vague and interact with me while ive been minding my business for months now. Hm. The fact people have me proudly blocked but still harass me anyways shows a lot about themselves than it does for me. How its such an issue that im a minor until it comes to demonizing, tearing down my character, gaslighting, lying and bullying. I'm a literal example of how their friend group manipulates their followers and exiles people from fandoms for not kissing their ass. except now its in your face.

Consider this my last post about this discourse. I'm not going to waste my time on people who fail to digest other peoples thoughts and opinions time and time again because theyre weak narcissists. If I so choose to decide to shit post my opinions or argue with someone, none of you should be aggravated or moved by it because youre not even supposed to be on my page. If its not something serious i will not be wasting energy that i can be using to build on myself as a growing person than on miserable old ladies that have to use fanfiction to have excitement in their pity, depressing and lackluster lives. If people so do choose to create stories or vague about me, I do not care. So I ask respectfully to people who do lurk on my page to not attempt to message, post or vague about me please. This includes sending anons to yourself to make shit happen.

Past that, something got me thinking. My (older) friend had showed me screenshots of adult writers (no one i have spoken to) that were very excited to write underaged reader with adult characters. There are other instances where writers (that you have probably read from) on here openly made reader underage while aging characters up as adults/with adults. There are many more but there's really no point in listing them nor do I really care. But least to say, the same people who are gung-ho over these pedophilic themes/stories are the same people who support predatory people.

I've been thinking about whether or not i should continue writing for the students anymore. Granted, I still think they're attractive because one snap of the fingers cant stop that. I had been teetering on this thought for awhile because of how borderline pedophilic the people are here towards my age group. I enjoy writing but not to the point of willingly being in a straight line of sight where people who are well over 16 are harassing me and lurking on my page, especially to other minors solely because they are my friends. Backtracking to the statement before, I honestly dont know if I will either stop writing or just for the students as a whole. It shows that clearly some people are using their attraction to teens with the excuse that the characters are fake. The rapid normalization on dark problematic "kinks" is disgusting and vile, and the fact that its discourse now to shame said interests is appalling. Concluding that combined with my experiences here, i feel unsafe.

***(TRIGGER WARNING)*** I dont talk about my personal life on here that much cause I dont see the need too nor do i think its anyone's business. Paired with the fact that the people i have trusted personal information with have used it against me, I will be preventing myself from opening that door. Besides that for now, I have sparsely shared I've been assaulted before. This is my first time really opening up about this and i kind of find it necessary now. Coming from someone who has been a victim of assault and CP by people my age and well over, writing nsfw has been the only way where I could feel comfortable with sex in general. I won't get into details because mentioning this is triggering already and can make people uncomfortable. It feels like anywhere I go, I'm constantly putting myself in a position to be abused. The same people who told me I didn't have to worry about my age and be judged for it, exposed the minimum comfort of keeping myself private online to demonize, judge and hurt me. People call me "extra" for being distraught about my face and age being posted because they think im trying to be sneaky which isn't the case. Its the principle that they KNEW I wasnt ready to share said things, and coming from someone who is inherently a private and closed person, she knew damn well what she was doing when posting screenshots of me on Tumblr. There is no excuse for it. The same writers who write dub/non-con can BARELY understand basic consent and its fucking terrifying. This site was the only other place I could cope without being criticized. To see people who some i was close to proudly lie on my name, (adults) say that i sent them pornographic content without their consent is so very hurtful. To watch people supposedly be victims and then use their own trauma to invalidate my own was so fucking humiliating, disgusting and nerve wracking. Although I knew I made the terrible decision to interact with stories, I have never initiated any NSFW discussion with anyone in DMs unless they did it with me first and a few times -- and trust me raise your hand I'll show you the proof. I was sure that everyone I talked to regularly knew that I was a minor, and to my general consensus, people were under the impression I was 15/16 (which I was and am).***

Whether it be victim blaming from the grooming discourse, I've been met with racism, harassment towards my friends, people wanting me to harm myself and be assaulted. I fear what will happen when i will turn 18, if the harassment will escalate and what not. A big part of me is that I'm still here anyways because it pisses people off and I don't care when I receive hate. I can take it but I don't want it. A good conscious of me knows that I should be doing what's best for me but at the end I'm still attached to my ego-self with the added fact that I sincerely enjoy interacting with my followers and posting stories.

I just don't know how the options look. I'll probably be updating my blog rules as of right now. I've been writing more sfw lately because of this and it'd be nice if you guys supported those until I properly decide. I still have plenty of requests of a bunch of characters (mostly Bakugo and Dabi) and original stuff (all sfw & nsfw) that I really wanna share with you guys. But I just ask that what I do modify that you will respect it like you would to any other writer on here.

Stay safe, keep your mask on, and thank you.

#discourse #tw discourse #tw: discourse #sav talks

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tsukkis7th-hoesblog · 4 years

Text

It was a misunderstanding.

Warning : nothing to bad , swearing

Tsukkishima ×reader , kuroo x reader ,akaashi x reader ,bokuto x reader .

_______________________________________

The boys were still all practising even though the coaches had called it a night. And you just finished cleaning the gym with kiyoko and were heading to the kitchen to prepare dinner .

As you were walking past the gyms a ball flys out and hits your head . You fall back from the impact ,which leaves ur butt on the concrete . You look up to see kiyoko. She has a worried look on her face . Then from the corner of your eye u see a tall white figure rushing towards you , it was tsukki .

He bent down towards you , you were about to tell him that u were alright but he just grabs the ball and stand back up . He just looks at kiyoko once "is she ok?" You nod and he just turns around and started walking toward the entrance of gym 3 .

"Hey! Tsukki who the hell do you think u are ?" You scream as u quickly get on your feet and move towards him . He swiftly turns around and you hit your face in his chest . "What?" He says wiping his shirt . "Your not even going to apologise to me " you say putting my hand on my hip . "You said you were fine so nothing even happend , stop over-reacting " with that he just turns around and walk into the gym .

You were used to his bitchy side , but u wanted to piss him off the way he always does to you . So like a dumbass you walk into the gym forgetting that other people are also practising ."tsukki !!! You son of a bitch , I'm gonna shove that ball up ur big white a-" you stop ,seeing kuroo with the ball in his hands . He just looks up with a disgusted look on his face "wait , this ball ?" And throws it to bokuto .

You quickly palm ur face and grab the ball from bokuto and hit a serve towards the tall blonde head that belonged to tsukki . His back was facing you so saw his glasses hit the floor . But by Akaashi's reaction you realized you might have over-reacted a little .

He slowly turns around , his glasses still on the floor. He just grabs the ball and walks towards me . You were terrified , u put ur hands behind ur back and looked at ur feet . Now he was right in front if you , towering over u . You try to say something but is cut off by tsukki putting a finger below ur chin ,making you look into his eyes. And for a few seconds u were speechless . You have never actually seen him without glasses , and he actually looked hot when he was so angry like this .

"I didnt throw the ball out of the gym so I didnt think I needed to say sorry to you , but either way I dont think u needed to throw that ball at me ?" He says with a raspy voice . He just puts the ball in my hands . I look at him confused "wait , u arnt gonna scold me ?" You say confused .

"It was a misunderstanding, beside I dont have the time " he says with a straight face , then turns around to walk towards the benches and drink some water . You were still in shock and only now realized that three of the gym 3 squad were staring at u and tsukki. Kuroo was wearing tsukki's glasses and bokuto had his elbow rested on kuroo's shoulder . Even akaashi stood close to them not saying a thing but just watching the commotion.

"What are u idiots looking at ? " you say as you ran to kuroo and grab tsukki's glasses off of him . "Hey! I look hot with those on " he whines as I clean the lens with my shirt .

Y/n pov .

"Damn y/n , that jump serve was really good . Who would have known you become a pro when u get angry " bokuto says as he towers behind me . "Oh shush, "

"can I have my glasses back ?" Tsukki asks with his hand extended .

I hand it to him and he simply just walks away . I felt a little sad and move towards akaashi and softly said "that's too bad , he actually looked really hot without those glasses" akaashi looks a little surprised but then smirks and leaves me to go practise . And I couldn't help to think of tsukki in that way , he usually just annoys me and I annoy him . It's how it's always been , but I find his rudeness kind of amusing .

Idk what pov this is :

you thanked ur bad taste in men and began cleaning up the gym . You only then realized that kiyoko had left and u were left to clean the entire gym .

You were wearing a sweatshirt but you were getting kinda sweaty after cleaning around and decided to take it off. You only had a light purple crop top with short white shorts . You didnt really think much if it and tied ur hair and began doing the heavy lifting .

Third pov .

Bokuto was just about to hit a strike but the ball stopped a few meters in front of him . He froze in confusion to why the ball was too short, he turns to akaashi .

To see ,akaashi standing still and was staring at y/n . Her hair was tied up and she was practically wearing nothing . Now all the boys realized .

Bokuto felt his heart drop as he saw how short ur shorts were, and they were practically invisible because they were so tight .

Akaashi wanted to grab ur waist and slide his hands up ur shirt .

kuroo wanted to grab ur hair and rip ur shirt off and take you right there in the gym , he then felt his shorts get a little tighter .

If u think these boys were starstruck , tsukki had a much different idea in his head .

He didnt even realized anything until he saw the players attention elsewhere. He noticed how u look when u tied your hair , as u almost never had ur hair in a high ponytail. And he knew he'd already seen you wear that shirt before, but with those shorts he felt like he had seen u for the first time .

You were still oblivious to the situation the boys were in ,until you realized that they were too quite for too long. You turned ur head to see all eyes on you . "What" you say with a bench in your hand .

The boys looked around all shy until kuroo came rushing towards u " you shouldn't be doing all this by yourself, here let me help " he said as he took the weight of the bench . Now you were even more shocked ,"its my job but thanks " you say as you smile at yourself like a idiot .

"What are you smiling about?" Tsukki says as he grabs the empty water bottles that were laying on the floor . You turn around to see bokuto grabbing the towels from akaashi's bunch . You were really confused now . But you let it be , after the boys where done with ur job they just stood in front of u with their hands behind their backs .

"Ok you guys are acting really weird ,what happened?" No one said anything. So you quickly thought of something .

"Ok if you guys are done I'm going to hang out with daichi and asahi, he was calling me a while a- "

"NO !" All the boys scream and stretch their hands out .

"Why are u guys acting so weird? Bokuto tell me now !" I say knowing bokuto too well .

He gives me puppy eyes and takes one look at akaashi , who was giving bokuto a death glare . "Sorry y/n "

" You just look so hot in those clothes today " kuroo blurted.

"What " I say , my eyes almost popping out of my head by the change in character and situation . The other boys groan in annoyance and tsukki just tskk.

You raise ur eyebrow at the boys " ok thanks for the ego boost I was feeling a bit insecure today but like what the fuck , u guys are so weird " I say laughing. "Why are you guys making such a big deal out of this ? " akaashi was the colour of a tomato , and his eyes not daring to look you in the eyes .

"We just couldn't focus on the game with you doing.. well the things you were doing .We are only men can u blame us ." Bokuto says with smirk on him face .

" you are still boys but you guys are the real ones to talk " I say bending down to grab my sweatshirt as akaashi and tsukki sit down on the ground. "Whats that suppose to mean ?" Tsukki asks drinking from his bottle .

"Are you guys that dumb ?" I say as they all give me confused looks. "You guys are 6 feet something boys wearing booty shorts and tight shirts while jumping, screaming and sliding on the floor . Theres a reason I became manager without even knowing it was a volleyball club. To be honest you guys are probably the hottest boys I've ever seen "you said too much . As if these boys weren't cocky before , you knew u had actually killed them . "I mean only when u guys play in a proper match "

"That's why you used to come to every practise first and then leave the last " tsukki said .

"No I'm a just the best manager in the world "I try to defend myself.

"I always knew u had a thing for me y/n " kuroo says as he grabs his bag ,

"no thats not what I said , I said u guys are hotter when you play , and I dont like you guys in that way " you were obviously lying but you had to keep cool .

"Whatver u say y/n , but just know I'm only one floor away . If you need more help with any matter just call me anytime u like " he said with a wink .

"Shut up , besides I gotta go now to make you guys dinner , please dont be late to dinner again . There wont be any more food left " you say as you blush at bokuto remark . "Ur lucky I like being bossed around from time to time " kuroo said pushing a stand of my hair behind my ear and then I practically run out of the gym .

Third pov .

"Damn shes hot when she's shy " kuroo says . "Yea too bad she is into me more " bokuto says in kuroos face .

"What!! she never said that ? Did she ?"

"I actually thinks she likes tsukki " this was the first time akaashi opened his mouth about this topic . "What!?!? " the boys said at the same time .

"A few minutes ago she said that tsukki looked good without his glasses , so I'm guessing she likes tsukki more "

tsukki gets all shy and defensive and says . " she doesn't like me , today she told me how much she loves your hands , and some weird shit "

"What " akaashi says as he looks down at his hands . "Yea she told me that too , I think she has a hand fetish " kuroo said .

"Well whatever she told me she loves bokuto's cake , I didnt even know you baked cake " akaashi asks bokuto. "I dont bake cake , and I haven't even seen her eat cake . "

Kuroo starts laughing " you know cake mean ass, right ?"

Bokuto in shock now " she said I have a good ass , omg she does like me "

"What about kuroo? What did she tell you guys about him ?" Tsukki asks a little too eager . But the boys just look at each other .

"Relax , whatever she likes about me she has already told me face to face , she even called me her captain once "

"What , that's not fair ,I'm a captain too!!" bokuto sulked as kuroo stuck his tongue out .

They were laughing as akaashi's phone rang . He answered the call " ok ok we are coming , relax y/n !" He said as he quickly cut the line .

"You have y/n's number !?!?that's not fair , she said she would give it to me but she forgot . " bokuto said grabbing his shoes .

And the boys then made their way to their rooms to get ready for dinner .

_______

Idk what this is but I might add more to this .

@haikyuu-texts @teawithlemonacid @tsukkisuki @tsukki--daisuki @keiji-n @kotaro-kun @keisdumpling @kozumebabie @bokutos-eyebrows @bokuto @bokutokoutarou @bokutosbiceps @bokuotaku @akaashiisbae @akaashikeji @akaashiofficial @akaashikoutarou @akaashisstar

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emperorofbullshit · 3 years

Text

This is gonna be me ranting and whining about how annoyed I am at my own mediocrity and how I manipulate the people around me as a coping mechanism to delude myself into thinking I am doing pretty alright and I shouldn't complain because I have it good

Since 14 years old there has been much discord in my family. My father is an alcoholic and not just a normal one. He would go to work at 6, get off work at 12 and then come home after 6 more hours of drinking. There are 7 days in a week and out of those 7, in at least 5 I have had to hide in my room because I was scared of him. He would yell, he would call me names, he would even make threats saying things like :

"I have 2 sons. Do you see that window? I could throw you out of it and only have one son."

To a 14 year old kid who is scared shitless but can't show emotion on his face, those words were always taken at face value and I always had no doubts on him being unable to keep his words. I am the eldest of 2 sons and thus I had to take the brunt of the "parental dedication", as they call it, and was always pushed for excellence. They would always say : "Get good grades, make good friends, go outside, go study, go do this and go do that" in and out every day. From 3rd grade I have been taking courses on languages, sports and math at times and I would leave home at about 6:45 AM every day to get to school at 7:30 and I would go from school which ended more often than not at 13:30 to English courses and then to either Deutch courses or basketball practice which would end at roughly 6PM.

My parents loved achievements but did next to nothing to help me feel anything other than anger towards getting any. They would always go on and on about good grades so you can get the prize money, good grades so you can get in a good school, good this, good that and I subconsciously avoided being in the spotlight because I actually felt gratification from being able to see their dreams shatter into dust and fir a while, that was the inly thing that kept me going. Just the look on their faces, the tone on their voice, the gleam in their eyes. The gleam of someone realizing that their hopes and dreams of greatness were just turned to dust. I still have that side of me, I just choose to keep it under control but it want's to get loose once a while.

And so my life continued until 9th grade when ai decided to stop all couses because I was sick and tired of them and so I stopped going. Then came high school, this circus, part of which I am as of writing this text most if not all of you will skip because it's just way too long.

In the first year of highschool I had fun. I made some new friends and hung with them a bit and I also met the one person I thought I could trust because she was like me, except unlike me, she still had hope and she still had her parents, albeit controlling, with her, rather than against her.

I gave her counsel when she needed it and we hit it off. She was a great friend while it lasted. I knew from the beginning that she and I would most certanly not make it through the year as friends so I had as much fun as possible with her.

I told her a very tiny fraction about my life and jokingly but never untruthfully told her how my mind works and what I do to people around me, her included. I talked her about relationships once and I helped her out too because she had a guy she liked and he liked her back. This guy just so happened to also be a friend of mine so I thought : "Why not help my friend get together with my other friend?", and subtly but surely I made them get together faster.

That was basically the premise of the first year. A pretty average story but I left out the part where the alcoholism and mental abuse at home never stopped. I put focus on this one girl because helping her out was my coping mechanism.

Then came the second year. This girl had gotten together with her man and they were very happy to be together and still are, after all I am still in my 2nd year of high school writing this, but back to topic. The second year of high school was wierd to say the least because of the pandemic and our classes were split in half. Me, being the pupeteer I am, decided to pull some strings and set my annoying classmates away with sweet words and deals that sounded too good to be true, and ended up with the best classmates I wanted, part of which was my target for the second year. My target was a girl this time. She was and still is, pretty, smart, and very comfortable for me to be around but she and i had never actually talked at all. Wd had exchanged a sentence once on our 1st year and that's it. I spent a few days observing her and noticed that she was a loner, she didn't exactly have friends amongst the classmates, so I thought : "Well that's as good a chance as any.", and started talking to her and walked her home after school. We became friends and were going out daily after school to get a drink somewhere and one day, as I had planned, 2 fellow classmates show up and I tell them to sit with us and so began my act and my strategy on building her a group of friends. The group wasn't too big. It was me, her, the other 2 classmates, a friend of mine and the girl from the 1st year of highschool. We were all classmates so we all had fun and talked and we developed into a true griend group. Well, as good a group as any can be with me in it. Time passed an I noticed I was really not interested in this girl I had set as my target so I just let her go to do her thing and cut my puppet strings there.

I did all of this because I wanted to prove to myself something, I don't even know what it was anymore because it lost value in my eyes and so I just cut my strings on everyone and let them free. My social life was evolving for the better, which was good and all, but my familial life was degrading and devolving at such speeds that weren't even funny anymore.

My father would come drunk, lecture me for hours on end about the most uselss things in existence, and he would always call me names and berate me on everything. He had even come to me with a big kitchen knife pointed at my chest and said : "I will kill you and eat your heart if you dont do what I want"

I am still afraid of him and i still have trauma gron him so I still didn't doubt his words because when your father comes to your room at 10 PM holding a knife to your chest while your back is agains the wall, you then realize that bad things can really be considered good compared to other things.

I was living in fear. Every day I would pretend to be asleep for hours on end so I could avoid him and maybe be spared but that was just wishful thinking.

While my soocial life evolved, my familial life kept devolving. My father would come drunk more often, fight more often with my mother, screm more, curse more and shout more. I was honestly getting pretty fed up with his bullshit. One day, he woke up from his nap and he was still drunk and started lecturing me on what "Sons of bitches, idiots and parasites" every single member of my moms side of the family, my mother included was. I was very pissed and my knuckles had gone wbite form me clenching them that hard.

My mother got home mid lecture and thy started fighting again. First it was just verbal insults and slurs, but it got worse and worse untol my father literaly ran at my mother prepated to choke her.

That.

That was the moment I had my first meltdown in my life. I saw him run and I saw his hands on her throat and I just had one simple directive in my mund telling me one thing : "Whatever made you feel this way must be eliminated"

And that was what I tried to do. I ran and pushed him away from my mother and then punched my dad so hard he crashed into the wall and made a dent. I would probably have killed him there if it wasn't for my father's brother who came to us because of all the noise, stopping me. He tried to get me away from my father and when I did and my father got up and tried to punch me while my uncle was blaming my mom fir the situation, I grabbed both him and my dad and threw them to the wall. I would probably have been bruised because thwy are both fat and I was in complete meltdown just screaming in the rage of years and years of mental torture and violent self loathing which had build up behind the dam and only sought a way out. They eventually split us up and I was crying and yelling. I could barely breathe, my lungs just couldn't take in air fadt enough for my heart which was beating so hard that thunder would sound like a butterfly's wings beating. I opened the windows on my room and put 3 quarters of my body outside the window , risking to fall and die but I didn't care anymore. The rage had subsided, having found an exit and without it to push me, I was just a broken kid that just sought desperately the help which noone gave. Not my parents, not my friends, not even those who considered themselves and to my face said "We are best friends, we help each other". I never got any help and nobody even saw that I broke down. I dropped hint after hint after hint that I needed someone to talk to, someone to say a few words to me, someone to just listen to anything I wanted to say, yet all I got was nothing. I noticed that none of these so called friends or best friends care about anything. Thwy didn't even notice that when I took my shirt off to change for PE, I had bruises in my back and chest. Nobody said anything or did anything so i also did nothing.

Everybody just seemed to go on their own way and nobody wanted to even acknowledge what had happened or what help I needed.

I am still bitter and mad at everyone but especually at my "best friend" to whom I say the following :

V. You know who this account belongs to. You know me in real life and you know I'm not lying because I don't waste my time like that. You know damn well that if yku read this entire thing and see things just a small 1(one) percent of how I saw things, you wouldn't call youself my acquaintance, let alone my best friend.

To anyone that made it to the end and actually read it, please realize that no matter what, no matter where, you cannot rely on those you consider dear without knowing for certain that they also consider you dear.

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