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cfs-melkire · 10 months

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FFXIV: WoL, OC, and Roleplay

Since there were some questions and confusion in tags, I figured that an educational/informative post like this might be helpful for some folks, so I'm going to break a few things down for those who might be unfamiliar.

Namely, we're going to get into what "Warrior of Light" means to different people, what "OC" means in the FFXIV context, and what "roleplay" means to different people (and why those distinctions exist).

Since this is going to be a long post, click the "Read Below" for more under the cut!

Warriors of Light

"Warrior of Light," in general, refers to the main protagonist of the critically acclaimed hit MMORPG, Final Fantasy XIV. Lore fanatics will know that this title once saw more widespread use in-setting (to refer to the Twelvesblades but also to historical heroes in general), but put that aside for now. WoL - Warrior of Light for short, in handy acronym format - is the main character, the hero, the person you play as. You even see the XIV devs (Yoshi P & everyone at CBU3) refer to the players themselves this way, as Warriors of Light.

FFXIV takes a different approach from other MMORPGs by making the story centered around a specific individual: you, as the WoL. This shift really kicks into gear towards the end of A Realm Reborn (2.0), as prior to that, you were just one of many adventurers in the realm of Eorzea (unless you were a 1.0/1.x player; again, set that aside for now). But starting with Operation Archon, your character starts taking center stage in terms of global affairs. By the time you're into Heavensward content, the story of the Scions is, fundamentally, your story: the Warrior of Light's story.

This creates an interesting situation in which players have a shared experience with different takes on how the main character did, should have, and or would have act, acted, react, or reacted. Part of that has to do with our differing selections on race and gender for our characters. Part of that has to do with us projecting our own thoughts and feelings onto the WoL, in effect playing the game as our own self-insert of sorts! Observant newcomers may have noticed that the game progressively gives you more and more dialogue options the further along you get; we had very few of them in ARR and HW compared to later expansions! That has been a good change, and it's really helped players to see how a story could take different twists and turns depending on what kind of person would be at the helm of making those decisions as the main character.

As a result, we've seen a lot of prompts crop up on social media - on Twitter, here on tumblr, even on Reddit - about how people's characters differ from one another. How would YOUR Warrior of Light react, what would THEY have done, but also: what was their childhood like? What do they do for fun? Who do they get along with best? So on and so forth, all sorts of questions. Anyone who's ever been in fandom for any length of time knows that these kinds of questions, these sorts of hypotheticals, are very fun to explore. We've been doing this since we were kids! "Oh but what if this happened instead in my favorite film/show/story?" It's our imagination at work, and it feels great to turn something over in our heads like that.

On Twitter, mainly, these prompts came to be referred to as "WoL prompts" and were often tagged something like "wolqotd" (Question of the Day). But as folks have been fleeing Twitter in droves lately thanks to a certain billionaire manchild being grossly incompetent and generally unsafe, there's been a lot of cross-pollination between social media platforms. Since tumblr has had a historically different approach to FFXIV prompts and our FFXIV friends from Twitter seem to have developed a blindspot, I posted a well-intentioned blurb about how, and I paraphrase, "not all OCs are WoLs."

There was some mild confusion on that point, which brings us to this post. I'm gonna help clear that up right now.

Original Characters

Most of us have probably seen, at least once on the internet, some form of the phrase "OC do not steal" (often humorously misspelled as the meme "OC donut steel"). An OC - short for "original character" - is a common concept in fandom. In fandom specifically, it generally refers to any character that a fan has created for their own use, whether that use be for artistic expression, drawing doodles, writing short stories (read: fanfiction), etc. The character is original, meaning they're not part of the established setting or lore as produced and put out into the world by the makers of the show/series/novel/game/what-have-you, and the character is unique, meaning the character itself (their personality, their history, etc.) is specific to that fan and they're not just Pidgey #2761 caught on Route 1 in the years since 1998 by one out of millions of kids with no other discernible traits, features, or background details.

In the FFXIV context, OC refers to any original character made or created by a fan or player. Often (but not always) this takes the form of their playable avatar, the character they sign into the game with and play as. But there's a context, a MMORPG-specific context, in which "OC" means something more specific to folks in the FFXIV community. The best way I can explain that other meaning is to walk you through the thought process, but in short, a FFXIV OC is a character who is NOT the main character you play through the events of the game as, but rather a character who inhabits the setting and has their own life full of adventures & misadventures, with their own story to tell.

The thought process goes a little something like this: I'm really having fun with FFXIV, but I'm getting real bored of my character. Maybe I'll fantasia them. You know what, I'm tired of seeing what my Warrior of Light gets up to. I'm more curious about what the average person deals with. There's all these monsters out there beyond the city limits! How does anyone get anything done? Maybe they need, like, caravan guards. Yeah, that's cool... but what about Lalafell? They're so small compared to other people, but they get by fine. Hmmm, let me go back to the character selection screen and fantasia into a Lalafell. I'll make something really cool and cute looking. Now, where would they be from? I see a lot of them in Ul'dah, a few in Limsa... you know what, I don't see a lot of them in Gridania or the Shroud. It'd be really interesting to learn how a Lalafell ended up living there. Yeah, let's do that! Fantasia's done, now to find them some day-to-day clothes to wear. I wonder, if they're a caravan guard, where'd they pick up their fighting skills? Are they an archer or a mage? Did their family help them get into a guild? Hmmm.

On and on it goes, in this very manner, with all sorts of characters and stories. This is a FFXIV OC, and even though the player will be progressing through this game with their new Lalafell, they're not really viewing this character (or whatever race they might choose, e.g. Roegadyn or Elezen) as the Warrior of Light. Sure, they'll play to see what the Warrior of Light experiences, but there's a distinction in the player's mind: this is Toro Tororo, of Gridania, they sometimes sign up as a guard to make money but on most days they help out their family at the botanists' guild. They've never once seen or fought a primal.

This is, fundamentally, an MMORPG OC, just specific to FFXIV. This is very much the exact line of thinking that gave us Dungeons & Dragons and other tabletop RPGs! Someone was playing war games, said to themselves, "I really don't care about Napoleon or whichever general I am as I move these armies around, I really want to more about THIS soldier here, this guy, what's THEIR story?" and pointed at a single figurine of an infantryman standing alongside identically uniformed troops (thank you to Dave Arneson and his players). The full story is a bit more complicated than that, but the process itself is central to a lot of our own musings about tales and stories that we then spin out into our own creations.

But who plays FFXIV like this? Who goes through all of that effort to NOT be in the shoes of the WoL, and why?

In short: roleplayers.

Roleplay

Let's get the giggling out of the way. You've probably seen ERP referenced - short for "erotic roleplay" - and that has a long history that spiraled out of playing pretend in the bedroom & early internet chatrooms. But no matter what big streamers or people on Aether datacenter might tell you (I'm looking at you, Gilgamesh), that's not what most people mean when they talk about roleplay. ERP is only a very small facet of roleplay in general, the same way the horror-thriller genre is only one genre among many genres of film.

Roleplay is, fundamentally, writing in a collaborative setting where one or more writers act out the parts of one or more characters and make decisions for them.

You've seen this a lot, and have probably roleplayed without realizing it. Constructing a castle made out of Legos and having the knights fight each other, or setting up Barbie and Ken at the pool for a relaxing day and some barbeque, is roleplaying. You and a friend grabbing notebooks and writing out stories or drawing comics about your favorite characters from a popular series is roleplaying. Sitting around a table and playing Dungeons & Dragons is roleplaying, even if you're not doing character voices like the folks on Critical Role. Exchanging prompts about your WoL on social media is roleplaying.

Roleplaying within the actual game of Final Fantasy XIV is an extension of the above! Some folks really like to use the tools that MMORPGs gives them - character models, emotes, a chat box - to visually play out stories about all sorts of characters. FFXIV is particularly well-suited to this due to some crazy quality-of-life features, like target tracking (not only your character's head but their eyes move to follow whoever you target), multiple idle poses, an enormous range of emotes, being able to sit or lay down on furniture, etc. So when Felicia signs in on Toro Tororo, exits Gridania, and mounts up on their chocobo to head down to Bentbranch Meadows to meet her fellow player, Diego, who's on Heuloix Durendaire in order for Toro to sign up for the latest caravan down to Highbridge in Thanalan... that's roleplay!

There's such a breadth of stories to explore in any fictional setting, and FFXIV is no exception in that regard. It's often easier to make an OC who isn't saddled with the WoL's baggage in order to explore stories like this. Maybe someone wants to roleplay an Allagan who just woke up after being on stasis for 3,000 years. Or maybe someone else wants to play a Roegadyn pirate out on the open seas, and they put into port in places like Limsa and Kugane. Maybe Rockfist and Deathstaff want to host a fighting tournament to figure out who's the baddest of the bunch, or maybe the hardworkin' Miqo'te fellow wants to head into the Goblet for the evening to find a nice restaurant for a good meal and a nice drink, and maybe avoid being pressed for conversation by anyone other than the wait staff and that bartender who used to be their childhood friend.

Roleplayers make OCs to explore settings via collaborative writing, and often times those OCs aren't WoLs.

And sometimes they are!

And sometimes people roleplay via prompts or over Discord/messaging rather than in-game!

All valid. All good.

I could go on ad nauseum, but that just about covers it. If there are questions, please ask. In comments, in tags, via Asks, etc. I'll try to answer... or point folks to people who can provide better answers than I can.

Thanks for reading!

#ffxiv #ffxiv oc #rp #ffxiv rp #roleplaying #oc #wol #collaborative writing #having fun

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ocarinas-princess · 10 months

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Why Ocarina of Time's Princess Zelda is is underrated, and why she is one of the most tragic incarnations of Princess Zelda: an analysis post

Ocarina of Time's Princess Zelda is my favorite Zelda character, and on of my favorite characters ever. Sadly, she is not talked about that much. I've seen some people call her boring and I've actually seen quite a few people hate her due to her actions at the end of the game. I wanted to make a post analyzing her character and talking about some of the things about her that people overlook. I will be using the manga some here, which is not canon, but I encourage you to keep an open mind. I'm cross-posting this from twitter with a few changes and things I forgot to mention. The original thread can be found here.

We first see Zelda in the courtyard. We learn that she has prophetic dreams, and that her most recent ones have been about Ganondorf and the fall of Hyrule. So at the age of around 10 she’s already worrying about saving her kingdom from disaster. It’s far too much for a 10 year old to be worrying about. And you can see that she’s very concerned and that it’s all she’s been thinking about.

I’m going to assume that everyone knows the general story of Ocarina of Time, so I don’t need to explain every little detail. Long story short, Ganon attacks Hyrule castle and Impa takes Zelda and flees with her. It’s unclear exactly what he did but I think it’s likely she saw people die that day. Some guards maybe, or possibly even her dad. It’s heavily implied that her father is dead in the game. And in the manga Ganondorf straight up says that he killed him.

I’m going to take a second to talk about the people in Zelda’s life. It’s very clear how she trusts Link with all her heart and I don’t think I need to explain that one. But I do want to talk about Impa. Impa has known Zelda since she was a baby, and is Zelda’s attendant.

These two care about each other very much. Impa believes Zelda when she tells her about her dream. Zelda trusted Impa enough to confide in her. Also, Sheik later begs Link to save Impa, and Impa’s parting words are asking him to protect Zelda.

Apart from her Impa, I doubt Zelda had many other real connections in her life. Possibly a few guards? I doubt she was every able to go outside of the castle. In the manga we see that a part of her longs to be a normal girl.

A bit about Zelda’s personality. She’s adventurous and playful! When Link takes her letter to the Death Mountain guard, he makes a comment that Zelda has come up with games before!

We also see this side of her in the OOT manga. It’s clear she doesn’t like staying inside and being regal.

She’s also very brave. In the OOT manga she stands up for Link when he gets into trouble, and she even stands up to Ganondorf, right to his face!

Now, while the OOT manga technically is not canon, here’s something that is canon. With the Mask of Truth, Link can read gossip stones across Hyrule. One of these gossip stones says that Zelda is a tomboy!

A few things I forgot to mention. It seems like Zelda’s father was not very involved with her life. I mean, he didn’t take her seriously enough to even hear her out about the dreams she was having. And I presume her mother is dead. So she really had very few people in her life.

Another quick thing about her is that she cares deeply about the people of Hyrule and her kingdom. Despite the fact that she wishes she was a normal girl, she still takes her duty as princess and eventually queen very seriously.

Let’s talk about the 7 years that went by while Link was asleep. All 7 of those years, Zelda had to live through. She was only 10 when those years began. She watched her kingdom fall and she watched Ganon come into power. She likely saw people die. What little childhood she already had was taken from her. But she didn’t just give up and wait for Link to save her. She is NOT a damsel in distress. She started to train. She wanted to become stronger. She wanted to be able to fend for herself. She wanted to be able to assist Link when the time came.

Enter Sheik. Often called Zelda’s “persona” or “disguise” but I’d argue that this is actually her embracing her true self. This is the first time in her life where she’s not under anyone’s control. She does all of this while hiding from Ganondorf, who seeks her. When the time comes for her to meet Link again, she assists him in his journey by guiding him and teaching him songs. I think it’s unfortunate that we didn’t get to see her fight but here’s an official art that shows them battling together so I think it happened offscreen!

Another thing that she did is she saved Princess Ruto from under the ice of Zora’s Domain!

Link battles Ganondorf and Zelda does assist! She uses her power to hold him down while Link delivers the final blow and she then initiated the Sage’s Seal!

And now I have to talk about her regret. She blames everything that happened on herself and herself alone. She blames herself for dragging Link into it. She even feels that she needs to make it up to him. It’s a horrible burden to bear. She’s only 17.

She sends Link back to his original time. And she often gets backlash for doing this. But she does it for two reasons. The first is that she believes this is her atoning for bringing Link into the fight. She wants him to regain his childhood. She won’t ever get hers back.

And the second reason is that Link must seal the door of time, so that his timeline will have a future (for a while). Ganon was able to be kept at bay.

With Link no longer a part of her world, and Impa no longer a part of her world, she truly has no one. She will go on to become Queen and Hyrule will be rebuilt. But I don’t think just because Hyrule is rebuilt that that’s a happy ending for her. Like I said, she has no one. No one that she can confide in about her trauma. No one that would understand the burden that she bears. She will eventually have to marry someone and have a child to continue the royal bloodline. And while some things could possibly bring her joy, like a child, I don’t think she’d be truly happy for the rest of her life. She’ll never see Link or Impa again.

Thanks for reading!

#ocarina of time #the legend of zelda #the legend of zelda ocarina of time #tloz #tloz oot #oot #oot zelda #princess zelda #zelda #zelda oot #ragan's posts

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sekhithefops · 3 months

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Anyone who tells a queer person "Just Move to a Better State" doesn't get it.

So, as some of you know I've got an account on Bluesky, one of the social media websites that arose from the ashes after Elon Musk completely fucked up Twitter beyond how fucked it was even on it's worst day.

Recently I shared this article, hoping to spread some good news to my fellow members of the LGBTQA+ community:

And some smarmy jackass replied with this:

Yeah... anyone who says this is an asshole who doesn't get the realities of these situations.

I grew up in Kentucky. Yes, the state where Mitch "the Lich" McConnell was spawned (we're trying to get rid of him but that asshole hid his phylactery really good okay?) As some of you might guess, my own home state has issues with people who try to push these sorts of laws.

I've been told by others, in the past, to just move to a better state.

I tried it once infact, I moved from the Cincinnati Metropolitan Area (I lived right on the border between Ohio and Kentucky at the time) to another city where I was going to live with a gay couple I met online who were friends with my, at the time, partner.

... you probably see where this is going already, but I'll continue.

The city definitely had a good LGBTQA+ presence, but here's the thing. I stayed there only six months before all but fleeing back to Kentucky.

Why?

Several reasons.

NOBODY wanted to hire "the new kid in town." I had a horrible time finding a job that would satisfy my roommate. They knew I had only worked retail in the past and, at the time, had no college under my belt at all. I tried getting jobs in multiple places. I tried getting hired on as a 911 operator, at several higher end stores, and such. You know where I wound up working? A shitty little Circle K station. It was the ONLY place that would hire me and paid a pittance. I could barely help with bills at all.

My roommate was a judgemental asshole. To quote Sir Terry Pratchett, "Just because someone is part of a minority doesn't mean they can't also be a small minded prick." One of my roommates judged me for EVERYTHING. Nothing I did was good enough, and if he found out something he didn't like he would hang it over my head and never stop giving me shit for it. I hated it. I hated it within weeks of arriving but I didn't want to leave because that would be 'admitting defeat' or some bullshit (it was ten years ago, I forget exactly how I justified it.)

I had to give up all the friends and family I had in the move. The part of the country I moved to was a place that I had never been before. I had no friends there, I had no family there. All I had to rely on was my two roommates. One of them clearly didn't want an extra roommate but went along with it because his boyfriend wanted it (I feel bad for him these days,) the other one... see item 2. This also leads into item four...

Because I had no friends and family there, I had no safety net. Asshole roommate constantly reminded me if I didn't get a 'better job' (and good luck to me on that given the circumstances) I'd be out on my ass, in a totally unfamiliar city. I had no help there besides them and he knew it, and he held that over me every chance he got.

Finally, after six months, I managed to move back in with my mother in Kentucky. This story does have a happy ending though. I wound up splitting up with my at the time partner (who in hindsight really wasn't a good match for me, though I hear they're doing much better these days,) and it was the wake up call I needed to get some college education. That didn't go great, but having even partial college on a resume helped me get a job that was far FAR better than retail work which I've held for over five years now.

I realized too that while Kentucky isn't great on progressiveness as a whole... the part of the state I'm from actually is. We're part of the Cincinnati Metropolitan Area (which basically means "if it wasn't for state lines we'd just be part of Cincinnati") and there's actually a really big LGBTQA+ community around here. These days I see Pride bumper stickers everywhere, and there's several houses nearby with Pride flags as well.

In Kentucky. Yes, that Kentucky.

But my point is... even assuming a person CAN move, it doesn't mean that it'll fix everything. In my case those six months were absolutely hellish despite living with a queer couple in a major city. My life only improved AFTER I moved back to Deep-in-the-Red-State Kentucky. Because the part I'm in has a good community, I have friends and family who support me, I have a good job here, and I have a good life here in spite of what some idiot in the state capitol is up to.

In closing, I have this to say: If you hear someone talking about queer issues in their home state and your first instinct is to tell them to just move to California or New York or some other state... just shut the hell up.

#lgbtq #lgbtq community #moving #politics #american politics

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yukipri · 10 months

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I joined Threads! Unfortunately my reach on Insta is still the most limited of all of my socials, and that’s the account Threads is directly attached to.

If you’re on either Insta or Threads, would love if you could stop by🙏

Direct linking to Threads doesn't seem to work...so here's

my Instagram

through which you can find my Threads account!

Edit: You actually can link to Threads, ironically through the icon at the top of individual Instagram account pages on desktop. Though Desktop viewing is currently limited to individual pages, and you can't necessarily scroll the feed. So here's my Threads page!

Next, some initial thoughts on the platform for those who are kinda curious what this new thing is. Not at all an expert, just some info I've gathered myself, that I'd personally have liked to know before joining:

On Threads

・It launched July 5~6, 2023. Rollout varies by country.

・Twitter's already upset about it, apparently there's a lawsuit. So I guess it considers Threads a possible threat.

・It's run by Meta, same folks as Insta and Fb.

・The accounts are directly linked to Instagram, which has its pros and cons. You need an Insta account to make a Threads account, but if you already have an Insta account, it's very easy to make a connected Threads account. However, once linked, they're linked; you can't disable your Threads account without also disabling your Insta account. You can also automatically follow all the accounts you're already following on Insta, to be activated as they make Threads accounts. You can also share Threads posts to your Insta stories.

・Currently only on mobile app, hoping the'll make it desktop accessible soon

・The current audience mostly seems to be folks who have come direct from Instagram. This means yes, a lot of official/influencer accounts, but also a lot of artists/small creators too.

Functionality

・Right now, the "feed/dashboard" is a hot mess. It's just one massive algorithmic spew, no way to curate it, no way to see just the posts by the folks you're following, not even chronological. These are things that i personally require in a social media, so yeah it sucks rn. HOWEVER, they did state that they're working on a "followers only" feed, much like the one on Instagram. If they implement a Followers Only feed like Insta, it'll at least be much better than Twitter's current "Following" feed. There has been no timeline provided on when this may launch.

・It functions much the same as Twitter, with options to create new posts, and like, retweet, quote retweet, and reply to posts made by others. (There's still a lot of floundering about the exact terminology to use, since it's not twitter so you can't "retweet" etc)

・500 Character word limit per post, which is much more than Twitter, ey!

・Up to 10 images per post, doesn't seem to cause image quality reduction either. Rather than being able to arrange the images like on Tumblr though, they're all automatically in a carousel that you can see by swiping.

・Your bio can be the exact same as what's on your insta, but currently only shows followers. In order to see who you follow, you tap "followers" and then when the menu opens, swipe to "following." Then, you can tap on the individual accounts to view their pages. This is currently the only way to ensure you see the posts from certain accounts, because there's no guarantee they'll show up on your feed, and it's a huge pain. But again, they're hopefully working on a fix for this.

My understanding is that the app rushed to launch now, since Twitter is a dumpster fire and people are fleeing. (why is it a dumpster fire? Well, Musk implemented a randomly fluctuating tweet view limitation, which is dumb af, but means it's essentially become unusable to folks who use the platform a lot)

I'm hoping that there'll be improvements to Threads and it'll become a viable Twitter alternative, but until then...yeah we'll keep an eye on it.

Now that I've probably completely turned you off from downloading the app, if you do, a nudge that again I'd appreciate if you stopped by my account, YukiPri_Art on Instagram, and/or YukiPri_Art on Threads!

#YukiPri rambles #Threads #social media #longpost #long post #Sigh yes another Twitter alternative #but unlike Bluesky I was actually able to make an account so that's one mark in its favor #plus Twitter is literally a hot mess rn I am getting like zero views on anything but RTs of popular accounts sigh #To be clear I'm not leaving Tumblr bc it's my home and i've always been here #but Tumblr and Twitter serve very different functions for me

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inzaghisgirlfriend · 3 months

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Rewatch!

Step into a time machine with me, if you will, and let it whisk us back to March of 2021.

Simpler times, then, n'est ce pas? We're but a year into a global pandemic, and I am clinging by a thread to my sanity and, without knowing it, mere weeks away from my first covid vaccine and the freedom and return to normalcy it will immediately and entirely provide* (spoiler, this did not pan out 100%).

I have joined twitter, as one does, out of desperation, because tumblr is a dumpster fire everyone is fleeing from for a site that isn't being ruined by a poorly-effectuated rebranding, unchecked hate, weird algorithm issues, and corporate nickel and diming. Funny how those things come full circles sometimes...

There, as here, I am following a lovely person who makes exceptional gifsets and has extraordinary taste in television (ifykyk). Her timeline has begun to fill with odd gifs of besuited and beautiful Korean people and otherwise context-free shouts into the void like "sexy lawyers" and "murder hornets!!"

Understand that, while it seems insane now that I've watched roughly 40 and would have to physically restrain myself from doing something embarrassing should I meet the man, there was once a time in my life when I had never watched a Korean drama nor even heard of Song Joong Ki.

As time goes by, though, my terror and confusion on twitter give way instead to a persistent feeling of intrigue and envy.

Because I realize there is a lot of shouting. And amongst other people with exceptional taste. I have been trapped in my house with the same people and walls and 8 meals and 23 minute walk around the block I'd seen and done and lived for the last year. So the appeal of disappearing through the tv to a place with hot people dressed up nice in a place I'd never thought much about before grew and grew. Even if there's trained murder hornets there.

So I open a shady-ass site with a seriously committed ad server Netflix on my phone and curl up and watch, stunned, the absolute best fucking 20 minutes of any TV intro I've ever fucking seen.

We're now nearly 3 years beyond that point, and I've met exceptionally interesting and funny and brilliant people and seen the most gorgeous gifsets and fanart you can imagine and read a ridiculous amount of fanfic (and written perhaps a little here and there, give or take 750,000 words) and headcanoned every possible scenario you can imagine and even flew to the other side of the world and stood in the middle of Seoul, not only amidst the pigeons of 'Geumga Plaza', but also between the parted legs of a building-high cutout of Song Joong Ki.

But I've never, ever rewatched the show in its entirety from start to finish.

So, with that in mind, away we go. A second time.

#vincenzo #vincenzo rewatch

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communistchilchuck · 10 days

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Ibrahim reached out to me to help share his fundraiser. His last fundraiser did not work out due to Germany taking 43% in tax, and so he has started a new one with support from an organizer. He is a Palestinian medical student urgently raising money to evacuate he and his family. He has only made $265 out of his $40,000 goal so far, and the IOF’s planned invasion of Rafah is imminent! Please share and donate, and if you can’t donate, please still share!

Ibrahim’s Twitter/X account: @ibrahimhelp

From Ibrahim’s GFM:

Hi, my name is Gigi. I met Ibrahim on Instagram, like so many families devastated by this war/genocide. Gaza is destroyed and everyone there is desperate to escape to save their lives and the lives of their love ones. I just can’t imagine having to deal with that, we will never know even an ounce of what that feels like. When Ibrahim reached out to me and told me that Germany takes 50% of the Gofundme, that’s outrageous, of course I will help him and send 100% of all the money that is donated! These are some desperate times and these governments are taking advantage of these poor people. Greed over life. So this is me helping out my fellow brothers and sisters in Palestine. Please donate if you can, gofundme takes donations from $5 and up, from that $5, they take about .45 so it comes out to $4.55. That’s not even the price of a starbucks these days. 1 day no Starbucks to save a family and to save on calories! Win win in my books!

Ibrahim: Hello, I am Ibrahim. I live in northern Gaza. I live with my family consisting of 7 people, a father, a mother, 2 brothers, 3 sisters, and me. I study human medicine at Al-Azhar University in Gaza. Before October 7, my family had a house and a car. And now there is nothing. On October 12, my house was completely destroyed and all possessions and dreams were destroyed. My family and I want to complete our dreams and our lives by leaving Gaza and settling in Egypt. This costs a lot of money, as it costs the whole family 40000 Dollars, and we do not have that because money was lost during the bombing and war. I was also forced to flee from northern Gaza to southern Gaza, where there is suffering. We get water and food with great difficulty. I ask for your support to complete my dream of studying medicine and my family’s dream, hoping for a better life.

I have had the dream of studying medicine since childhood, but now that my dream has become more important and my goal of studying medicine has become an inevitable goal in relation to what I saw of the urgent need for doctors in my city of Gaza in this war in which we are still living until this moment. I write this letter after more than four months of bombing, destruction, famine and genocide to which we have been subjected. I took the first steps to achieving my dream after I finished my high school studies and obtained a 96.3% average. I registered at Al-Azhar University and specialized in medicine. I started studying in September 2022, and I only completed two weeks of my second year of study, almost on the path to my dreams before this war began and the occupation bombed and demolished my university. As I did in all the universities in the Gaza Strip, my dream vanished with it. The financial burden on my father has become unbearable, especially in light of the bad conditions caused by the war and the destruction of my home. It may take my father many years to rebuild it and put in everything he possibly owns. In the end, I aspire to be an exceptional doctor in my field, in order to help the people of my city of Gaza who suffer from various physical disabilities, such as amputation of limbs and others, and health problems resulting from war and fighting. Many, many medical personnel were killed while carrying out their duties in hospitals, clinics and medical facilities, which led to the collapse of the health system in the Gaza Strip, so I hope to continue my dream of studying this specialty as soon as possible.

Now I hope that my voice will be heard and that you will help me continue my university studies outside Gaza and build my dream and my family’s dream again, become a doctor, serve the world, and support my family. I hope you take my call to your hearts and spread hope to the world, and thank you to everyone who will help me achieve my dream.

#palestine #free palestine #gaza #mutual aid

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nekoannie-chan · 5 months

Text

Flesh wound

Title: Flesh wound.

Fandom: Marvel, The Gifted, X-men.

Ship: Lorna Dane X Mutant!Reader.

Word count: 241 words.

Rating: Teen.

Summary: Lorna was hurt escaping from the Centinels.

Major Tags: Flesh wound.

Additional tags: This is my entry to @multifandom-flash, Annie-3002 & square 7:

"Only a flesh wound.”

You can read it on Wattpad and Ao3 too.

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other's people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

My other media where I publish: Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter.

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

Tags: @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae @harrysthiccthighsss @marvelatthisonee @caplanbuckybarness @sapphire-rogerss @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose @hallecarey1 @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @writingshae @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga @daemonslittlebitch @chaoticcollectivenightmare @endlesstwanted @chemtrails-club @marigoldreamer @whiskeytangofoxtrot5555 @here4thefanfics @theestorm @patzammit @kmc1989 @somegirlfromasgard

The deafening sound of the Sentinels chasing them was the most unbearable thing. You had lost count of the times they had had to flee from them in recent years.

Suddenly, a larger and more imposing Sentinel than the others appeared. You swallowed with difficulty; it seemed that they were modernizing their enemies. It also seemed that the robot could adapt to attacks, which made it more dangerous. In a moment of distraction, the Sentinel managed to land a blow to Polaris' side.

"Lorna!" he exclaimed, watching as she recoiled, holding her injured side. "Are you okay?"

Lorna forced a smile. "Only a flesh wound, don't worry. I'm still standing."

You gritted your teeth, frustrated that you weren't quick enough to avoid the attack. But before you could say anything, another sentry rushed at you. Polaris acted instinctively, deflecting the attack with a magnetic shield.

"It was only a flesh wound," Lorna insisted, noticing the concern in your eyes. "I'm fine, really."

But something wasn't right; they had to get out of that place immediately. Maybe Turner was nearby. You grabbed Lorna by the arm and forced her to start running. Suddenly, they saw an open portal and entered.

"I thought you would never get there," you commented when you saw Clarice.

"We had a little trouble," John said.

"Lorna is hurt," you pointed out.

Clarice nodded and took her to one of the rooms where they would check the wound.

#multifandom flash bingo #round 3 #lorna dane x reader

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wolfie-bee · 2 years

Text

Fall

read it here on twitter

The fall comes unexpectedly- one minute Lena's on the phone with Kara revealing sensitive information about an active defunct Luthor facility and the next, intruders are in her office, pushing her off the balcony.

Adrenaline rushes through her veins as a scream tears from her throat and she squeezes her eyes shut, helpless to the whims of gravity. Her mind races a mile a minute, terror seizing her chest and suddenly, a warm body presses against her, warmer arms catching her midflight and tugging her against a firm, solid chest.

Lena's once immovable hands wrap around the shoulders of her savior as her body trembles with fright and she buries her face against the person's neck, squeezing her eyes shut. The scent of coconut shampoo fills her senses and her heart gives a fluttering thump of recognition.

Kara? Her mind screams.

The skeptical part of her thinks this may be a trick, that she's probably already died so she slowly reopens her eyes, finding her face buried in the downy softness of blonde curls and her arms pressed against the sleek material of a super suit.

No, not Kara.

A breath shudders out of her as her eyes settle along the curve of a strong jaw, leading to rosy cheeks and soft pink lips.

Supergirl.

Lena's heart trembles. If she were braver, she'd reach out, turn the face of her savior towards her and press an appreciative kiss against her mouth.

Supergirl's arms tighten against her, a more secure hold that draws Lena's appreciation to the curve of those arms and the sleek muscles that her body lays against.

And the veil of safety that washes over her is instantaneous.

She hates flying, hates it so viscerally that if she could drive anywhere in the world she would. But there's something about the safety of this embrace that makes her understand why the hero is so trusted and so revered.

The minute they make their way above the balcony, Supergirl's jaw tightens and she addresses the criminals in a stern commanding voice.

"Dropped something?" She asks, and there's a hint of steel in her tone that impresses Lena as Supergirl takes a deep breath and an icy blast of cold air whooshes past her pretty lips.

The criminals are sent spiraling into the walls, unconscious, and a smug smile crosses Lena's face as Supergirl descends.

“How did you know?” She asks, turning to the hero with an awed look.

“I was getting coffee with Kara Danvers when you called.” Supergirl answers, all clipped and business-like as she hovers just an inch from the floor. But then she softens and the expression on her face melds into something entirely too intimate for Lena to witness as she finally touches down on the balcony. "You're okay," she says, and it sounds both like a question and a statement meant just to reassure herself.

Lena simply nods, unsure of how to answer as her shaky feet finally touch down on the cold tiles. All of the strength flees her in an instant and Supergirl's hands shoot out to her hips before she can collapse, pulling her into her firm body.

Lena flushes, lifting her eyes to see warm intense blue staring back at her and her mouth goes dry.

"T-Thank you." She mutters, clearing her throat a little when Supergirl doesn't immediately let her go. "For saving me." She feels the need to clarify.

Supergirl smiles and it's so much better in person, the television and pictures in magazines really can't capture the essence of her striking beauty.

"Anytime." She says and it's warm and affectionate and Lena should be pulling away, hell they both should, but they aren't.

There's something so familiar about the hero, something that Lena can't quite put her finger on but she feels herself relax in the embrace, heart slowing to normal healthy levels.

And she now understands why some people worship heroes. Because Supergirl is kind and modest and she flushes prettily when Lena can't help but draw closer, staring into those eyes that she feels like she knows.

"L-Lena." Her name comes out in a breathless adorable stutter as Supergirl clears her throat in an attempt to school her features.

But it only manages to embolden Lena and she reaches out without conscious thought, long fingers splaying across reddened cheeks and thumb catching over Supergirl's soft lower lip. There's a soft gasp, one that Lena can't tell who it came from as her heart flutters, something faint like recognition desperately teasing at the edges of her thoughts.

"I'd like to properly thank you," she murmurs and it may be their proximity, it may be the way they're still pressed together, chest to chest, but Supergirl doesn't pull away. Lena takes that as an aquescience.

She leans up, just a little, pressing the gentlest kiss to the curve of Supergirl's jaw. Supergirl inhales a sharp breath, blue eyes familiar in some way and Lena tilts her head, pressing another to her cheek.

The hero's eyes flutter, long beautiful lashes teasing against warm skin and Lena’s breath hitches when those strong arms tighten imperceptibly. A soft breath escapes her lips, brushing right against Lena’s, drawing her eyes to them and Lena leans in and kisses Supergirl.

It's just a light brushing of lips, the tenderness of it so chaste Lena's heart aches. It's a soft counterpoint to the tension in her fingers as her fists tighten in Supergirl's cape, dragging her into the heat of another kiss and then another.

Supergirl meets Lena with the same enthusiasm, warm hands splaying across her lower back and Lena sinks her hands into soft golden curls, lost in the sensations that grip at her heart.

Supergirl's kiss is open and deep and hungry with desire. Desire that thunders and burns wild against Lena's skin as if they are old, familiar lovers, as if they've been apart and haven’t seen each other in months. It makes Lena melt against her, turn into putty in the woman’s arms, blushed and breathless by the time they part again.

Lena's the one to pull away, Supergirl chasing her lips like a warm golden puppy and she lets out a ragged breath, dragging her thumb across Supergirl's lower lip where her lipstick remains, just trying to keep her at a safe distance.

Supergirl's eyes are still closed, the faint trace of a dazed smile tugging at the corners of her now reddened lips. Her cheeks are equally red and Lena can't help the pride that swells in her chest at the fact that it's there because of her. But a thought niggles at her that draws a comparison to Kara's reddened cheeks, and Lena thinks she’s seen this expression before.

"I - I should go." Supergirl stutters, finally reopening her devastatingly blue eyes and Lena smiles, endeared. "I'm glad you're safe, Miss Luthor."

Lena watches her lift off from the balcony in a daze, watches the regal flap of her cape as she turns and soars off into the distance. It’s only when Supergirl’s left that she remembers that she hadn’t given her or Kara the information about Cadmus and the missing aliens like she’d initially planned.

Read a follow up fic from Kara's pov written by @bibliowormlibrarian on Twitter

Or read the follow up fic here on Tumblr

Starting line for the follow up:

The next day when Kara visits, Lena has every intention of telling her about what she'd found out, but the words that leave her mouth are, "I kissed Supergirl."

#supercorp #supergirl #lena luthor #supercorp twitter fic #fall #hey guys i wrote this little drabble on twitter inspired by the tweet above #not sure why its not showing up in the supercorp tag #hopefully someone sees this #my fics #my writing

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rosewould · 2 years

Text

cynics; jns

part vi

masterlist

words; 7.1k

genre; angst & smut

warnings; hate comments mentioning suicide, revenge porn(?), depictions of rotting food, vomiting, sex w/ Jungwoo again, choking, rough sex, long dick!Jungwoo

preface; This took to long because I rewrote this about a dozen times and I'm glad I did. If I released that first idea I had, it would've been real bad lmao. I'm really proud of this chapter and if it flops more than usual I will experience a tragic ego death. Also first full smut scene whoo! It still feels weird putting on in this fic...

"you stupid piece of shit"

"rot in hell!"

"you should just fucking kill yourself"

"you'll pay for what you did"

Johnny couldn't focus on anything else. He tried to get more information but his phone kept buzzing. His shaky fingers turn off notifications for all the social media apps on his phone. No way those fucking idiots did this.

After getting no valuable information, Johnny opted to distract himself. No amount of video games, movies, or books could do the job. His heart never slowed. His hands wouldn't stop shaking. The words he was sent kept cutting through each thought. They have no proof it was YangYang or his friends, but a couple of streamers at the party reported seeing Naeun with YangYang, Lucas, and Johnny that night. YangYang seems to be public enemy number one since he was seen entering and exiting the bathroom by multiple witnesses. The biggest nail in the coffin being Dejun.

He was never involved in drama. When he was dragged into it, he approached the situation with objectivity and empathy. There were very few streamers unanimously loved and respected by the community. Whether it be their fandom, content, or questionable takes, there's always a caveat. Not Dejun. Everyone trusts Dejun.

"I did see her leave the bathroom with YangYang. Listen, I don't know much about the people involved. I don't want to stir up drama so carelessly like this, but there were only streamers at that party. Someone is responsible for this... disgusting deed and they should be held accountable. This could ruin Naeun's life. I don't care what you think about her or her content, this is completely unacceptable."

It was his biggest stream to date. This was one of the biggest scandals to hit the platform. This was bad. Extremely fucking bad. And it somehow got worse.

"What? What group chat?" Dejun searches google for everyone to see. Tens of thousands of people watch in awe as the shocking news is revealed. "There's a group chat for sharing female streamers' nudes?" Dejun raises his voice, face contorting in revulsion. "The source says it was started by streamers..."

That's when all hell broke loose. People had already made up their minds that YangYang took the pictures. Screenshots show the culprit confirming they were taken at the party. But now there were more culprits to be caught, and the pitchforks were out.

For once, the parasites had left Johnny's home. The one time he was afraid to be alone with his thoughts. How could they do something so reckless? So foolish? So rotten?

And Johnny associated himself with people like this. Let them in his house. Like it was instinctual, Johnny's eyes move toward the black sludge on the floor. His house was a pig sty. The smell was stomach wrenching. His flowers had all wilted. He stumbles toward his fridge, eyes watering as soon as he opens the door. He pinches his nose as he watches a hoard of flies flee from the rotting food. Unable to take it anymore, Johnny keels over, retching into a nearby garbage can. His stomach lurches as he empties its scarce contents. The smell of the garbage is no better. He can't escape the smell of rot as he heaves.

He continues to dry heave with nothing left to purge from his system. Unable to lose the overwhelming nausea.

You refresh Naeun's Twitter profile again. Her last update was the night of the party. You refresh again, unable to ignore the sinking feeling when no new tweets come up. You started following her on Twitch to see if you'd get a notification for a stream. Nothing.

"Whenever you feel up to it, consider telling your part of the story. No pressure."

It seemed like a no-brainer. Naeun probably feels alone right now. Her silence is beyond worrying. So why isn’t the ‘okay’ rolling off your tongue? Why does your face pinch up at the thought of doing so?

You feel even more guilty looking at your notifications. You’ve grown by thousands of followers. Your comment sections are all filled with love. You’re thriving.

“Our audience really loved you and we’ve been thinking, why don’t you join the Dreamies?”

No matter how much you tried, you couldn’t give anyone a clear answer. You couldn’t give yourself one. Touching either subject felt like touching fire. The more thought you put into it, the more you felt like recoiling from the subject altogether.

You refresh Naeun’s account again, letting out a heavy exhale at the lack of an update.

"I know you're still not happy with me after what I said that day." After a long, suffocating silence, Jisoo finally speaks, making you pick your head up.

"I don't really like how we left things either."

"Jisoo, I told you it's fine." You don’t look directly at her, just in her general direction.

"You don't want to talk about it, I can tell, but we have to. I don't like how I worded it, but there's a point at the core of what I said that I need you to understand."

You shut your eyes, face tense.

"I made it about me being frustrated with your relationship with those guys and I shouldn't have. The point I tried to make is this worrying cycle. No matter how poorly they treat you, you somehow end up around them. I don't think you've put enough thought into that." Jisoo leans closer to you from her spot on your bed, placing her hand on your knee. Her sincerity is difficult to ignore, it's difficult to keep up your guard. You still try, tensing up from her touch. You didn't want to have this talk. Not right now with all this going on.

"All the times I've run into them after I broke things off were not my doing. If anything they somehow end up around me." The lie was big enough to linger in your mind long after you spoke it. She didn't know you invited them in that night. She didn't know you were briefed about their presence at the party. There was a loud insistence in your mind that there was nothing to address. The sheer existence of the lie muffled that insistence.

Jisoo opens her mouth, hesitant to say what's on the tip of her tongue. "With the Naeun situation-"

"Ugh- Fuck! I don't want to talk about this! My pictures aren't in that group chat! YangYang didn't touch me! This has nothing to do with me!" You insist defensively. The root of the defensiveness perplexed you. If what you said was true, what was there to be defensive about? Never mind your trembling hands and increased heart rate. And that horrible feeling you got after saying the situation had nothing to do with you was formidable.

"Please, just listen!" Jisoo urges. She clenches her eyes shut, biting her quivering lip. "Who knows how many other girls there are? How many more girls are at risk to end up like Naeun?"

Her words gnaw at you, deepening the ache the guilt already caused. "Jisoo, I can't bring myself to understand why you're forcing me to think about this."

"It's because I think you're staying quiet to protect them." Jisoo answers quickly. She swallows hard. That feeling that she's hurting you is back, and without her frustration, it stings a lot more. "You have to understand that saying that is not easy. But you see now why I'm so worried, right? There is so much on the line if you stay quiet, but you're so adamant about it that my mind only went to one place." Jisoo says in a delicate voice.

"No. Absolutely not." You state bluntly. On the surface, it was downright ridiculous. What would you gain from protecting them?

"Okay, that's a relief," Jisoo breathes, "I just want you to think about it, okay?" She rubs your back and you nod. "And... just remember. The girls are probably afraid to speak up because they don't want their pictures to be leaked as well."

You grow rigid again when she brings the topic back up. "You don't have any material they can blackmail you with. Just... promise me you'll think about it?"

There it is. More reason for you to feel ashamed of not speaking up. There’s no excuse.

The air grows cold between the two of you and you pull away from her, all to Jisoo's dismay. "Can you leave, please? I'd like to be alone." You murmur.

Quietly, Jisoo stands from your bed. Once she reaches your door, she turns back to say something but decides against it. After you hear two sets of doors close you let out a shaky exhale. You ball your fists, trying and failing to contain your paralyzing concern.

"Look what I found!" You sing before flashing a toothy grin. Clasped in your fists were two bunches of pink and white larkspurs. Johnny gasps, pushing himself off the concrete ledge onto the plush grass.

"Oh my god... where did you find these?" He asks, excitement gleaming in his eyes. He cups his hands around your fists, gazing fondly at the flowers.

"That garden we saw out the window! Do you remember? Seventh grade?" You giggle, blissfully unaware of what you just admitted to. Johnny shouts your name before moving one hand to cover his mouth.

"So you stole?" YangYang stands from the spot he was sitting next to Johnny, an amused smirk on his face. You look at him, this stranger that just accused you of a crime, in disbelief.

"I did not! I mean... I did! But they won't even notice! They had tons! Show-offs." You counter defensively before blowing hair out of your face with a hardy puff of air.

"Yeah, that's still stealing. I didn't know the friend he's always going on about was a thief." His smug face still suggested he found humor in your reaction to his accusation.

"Who is this... guy?!" You turn your head slowly to look at Johnny with a bewildered expression.

"This is YangYang. And this is the girl I was telling you about." Johnny says, still pensive about the questionably acquired flowers.

"I kinda guessed as much. She's just like you described her-- well," YangYang turns from Johnny to you before pressing his lips into a thin line, "minus the thievery."

"Okay that's it. I'm going to the vending machines and when I come back! There better be no more troubling assumptions. But first," You lean forward to Johnny, whispering in his ear. His face turns red hot. "your hand, lovie."

Johnny looks down, his face searing even further if that were even possible. One of his hands was still firmly wrapped around your fist. He pulls away like he just got scorched. "Sorry!"

"Here." You press the flowers to his chest before smiling and kissing him on the cheek. If it were possible, his head would be engulfed in flames. YangYang watches you get a fair distance away before looking at Johnny.

"Dude, do you like her?" YangYang asks in genuine inquiry. Johnny clenches the flowers in his hands tighter before looking around the schoolyard.

"No! Of course not."

"I have never seen someone get so red in my life." He says with a knowing look.

"No! I don't! Why would I?" He whispers insistently.

"Why not?"

‘Why not?’, a straightforward question that complicated Johnny's thoughts. Realizing how reprehensible it was to say you were ugly like the other kids do, Johnny was left speechless. He didn't think you were ugly.

Noticing his struggle to answer, YangYang pats his arm. "Look, if you like her, what's so wrong with that? Liking someone isn't about pleasing everyone else."

His words stun Johnny even further, so he purses his lips and pats his arm a second time.

"YangYang! You comin' or what?" A group of boys that beckoned him earlier yell from across the field.

He walks backward as he sends Johnny a short wave. "Just some food for thought. See you later man."

"It wasn't me! Everyone is already accusing me with no substantial proof!" YangYang shouts, frenzied from his boisterous voice to his irregular body language.

"So you didn't take the photos." Taeyong's eyes linger on the computer, the reflection of the screen projected onto the lenses of his glasses. Only at the sound of YangYang's stammering does he calmly look up at him.

"I-I- You know what I mean! I didn't post the pictures on Twitter! That was someone else, probably a stupid fucking fanboy!" He only grows more frantic at Taeyong's indifferent accusation.

"So you did take the photos." He says with a look of disgruntled inquisition. YangYang panics, rushing closer to Taeyong, whose eyes follow him at every step. He raises his eyebrows, awaiting an answer. An answer that was already apparent by the time it took to be issued.

"You have to understand. I'm losing thousands of followers, I'm getting death threats, I've lost a shit-ton of sponsors, and streamers have come out to publicly denounce actions that haven’t been proven! Including that fucking snake, Mark." Each attempt of his to redirect his worry into anger fails once he notices Taeyong is still staring stonily. He's quiet for so long that everyone in the room feels like they're being held hostage. Taeyong opens his mouth, taking a quick inhale before speaking.

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"Please!" YangYang falls to his knees, clasping his hands together.

All Johnny could think about was all the good times he and YangYang had through the years. Comparing the YangYang from the past with the one he's been coexisting with for months now was near impossible. He seemed like a cool dude. Johnny would go as far as to call him a genuinely kind person.

How could his judgment have been so off? He knew he was up to no good, but this? This was too far, this was too much... There was no way it was in front of my eyes this whole time.

It was a throwaway thought to try and ease some of his bewilderment, but as soon as he put an ounce of thought into it, the proof kept coming.

The way he continuously belittled your emotions. His amusement at your misfortune. How eager he was to take advantage of you when he knew you were in a vulnerable state, twice.

But how was Johnny supposed to know that would amount to this? He’d never seen him treat anyone else that way. Maybe Lucas and Doyoung, but not YangYang. No, Johnny never saw this coming.

“Well, we got her ready for you.”

Nausea rumbled in his stomach, threatening to send him kneeling over a trash can again.

"I'm gonna take that as a yes." Taeyong stands from his dining room table. "I've been doing some damage control, I think I have things under control. One of my contacts was able to get in touch with an executive at Twitch. Bans have been lifted."

Lucas, Doyoung, and most importantly YangYang let out a sigh of relief. YangYang collapses to his hands and knees. "Thank you Taeyong! Thank you so much!" He sits up and rushes to open Twitch on his phone. Johnny looks around, the other two are on their phones as well. So that's it? The situation's over?

Naeun's voice early that morning kept ringing in his ears.

Suddenly YangYang's face falls. "How long is it going to take to lift the ban? It says I'm still banned for 30 days-"

The loud slam of Taeyong's laptop makes everyone in the room flinch. Even Nayeon looks pensive. He lets the silence linger as he throws his glasses on the table before glaring at YangYang.

"Don't you get it? You fucked up bad. There's no fixing it. When I said bans have been lifted, I didn't mean for any of you raging dickheads." Taeyong's voice booms, hitting every corner of the room. "Now I have to, essentially, rebuild this group from scratch."

"B-babe! I just want you to know that Johnny had nothing to do with this, okay? One less person to replace!" Nayeon rubs each of Taeyong's arms in an attempt to soothe him. He sighs, pinching his nose bridge.

"Doesn't matter. Johnny's reputation is salvageable. The only evidence against him is him talking to Naeun at the party. Everyone knew they were friends, so that can be explained away. These three?" Taeyong starts, gesturing at the three in question.

"My sources are estimating at least one hundred women with first-person accounts of being propositioned by you absolute idiots. You're about to be investigated for a crime. You're done." He stresses.

"Wait- what about her!" Doyoung frantically points to Nayeon. "She was in on it too! At least with ___!"

"She wasn't stupid enough to get caught. I don't care about what you do. Just how you do it. This was messy from the beginning, all it takes is common sense to know that starting a group chat was moronic. At least share them with each other. And for pictures of naked girls? You can find those for free!" Taeyong stresses, stunned and in disbelief.

"They make money off their bodies, why can't we?" Lucas finally speaks up after stewing in anger. He clenches his jaw, challenging Taeyong with his glare.

"Is that what's happening? What are you, an incel vigilante? And on top of all this, you did it for some extra pocket change?" Taeyong shows no interest in his challenge, instead looking at him like he's pathetic.

"We've made at least a hundred thousand total for access to the server. It's more than what you've ever done for us. And look how quickly you're turning your back on us! You'd be nothing without us!" Lucas shouts.

"Let me make sure I'm getting this right. I've barely done anything for you and-- in fact-- I'd be nothing without you? That's what this is?" Taeyong smiles menacingly. Everyone can feel how foreboding his words are, except for Lucas it seems.

"Yes! You practically begged us to join your streaming group! You promised to link us with sponsors and big streamers and then you just stopped!"

"Lucas shut the fuck up you're not helping." YangYang whispers angrily, pulling Lucas by his shirt. Lucas tugs his hand away, his anger and glare still directed at Taeyong.

"No! And the fact that you guys are still sitting here and taking this shit is downright embarrassing. Have a little self-respect." He fumed, looking around the room at his friend group and continuing to ignore the warning in their eyes.

"Poor, stupid Lucas. Always needing someone else to do all the work. It was hard, wasn't it?" Taeyong flashes Lucas a pout before his face grows rigid. "I can always show you what hard is really like. Do you want to see me at my most unhelpful? How about I make that happen for you." He spits with a scowl.

The threat clearly got to Lucas if his face was anything to go by. "W-whatever. I'm out of here. You guys can stay here and be his little lap dogs if you want." Taeyong puts his head down, letting the tall man pass. Once the door slams he speaks again.

"One thing's for sure, you guys were all quick to take control after I gave you a boost. That guy was doomed to fail." Taeyong straightens his tie before properly regarding the two of the stooges that were left.

"If somehow the two of you make it out of this alive, I have no doubt you'll be just fine. However, I can't help you anymore." He presents them each with a tight smile and firm handshake. "Now get out of my house."

The two of them leave with one last apology and their tails between their legs.

"You were right to kick them out, babe. I could tell they were no good-"

"You know, one of the first things that impressed me about you was your intelligence. You pretend to be ditzy, but you know how to play your cards right. So it's baffling to me that you got yourself caught up in this." Taeyong doesn't turn to face her, he just stares out the large bay window illuminating his pristine living room.

"I'm sorry, it's just- she kept trying to make a move on you! Even you complained about it!"

"Exactly! I'm the one who has to deal with this bullshit! I've had to deal with it since high school!" He swings around to look at her, the anger he's held on a short leash getting closer to breaking free. "I've had to stomach her for years! I think you could deal with a little jealousy." He drives his finger into his own chest before pointing sharply at her.

His words shocked both Nayeon and Johnny, but for entirely different reasons. Nayeon nods, a blank stare all she could manage after being chewed out.

"Oh and darling, do yourself a favor and pretend to be the most outspoken activist you can possibly be for at least a year. I don't need to remind you what female viewers call you, right?"

"No. And will do." Nayeon mumbles and tries to smile, but it looks closer to a grimace.

"Good." Taeyong breaths. "Now we have to worry about convincing Mark and ___ to come back. She's the big one. Once she comes back it'll look like those three were the reason she left. Johnny, I'm counting on you for that."

Johnny feels like he hasn't been truly present since YangYang confirmed his involvement. All he could focus on was how much harm had been done.

"If you can't do it, I could probably convince her pretty easily-"

"No." Johnny says, looking as if he's just come to an earth-shattering realization. After everything that's been done, now he wants to drag you back here to make you suffer again. "Taeyong… she told us flat out she was miserable here."

Taeyong exhales amusedly, looking at Johnny like he just doesn't get it.

"If that's what the two of you choose to believe, have it your way. At the end of the day, there's a reason we all ended up together. She's the one that invited me to be friends with the two of you. You invited YangYang. Doyoung and Lucas came on their own but you two welcomed them in with open arms. Nayeon is the only person the two of you didn't approve of. So don't stand there and act like these horrible people were forced onto both of you."

It felt like deja vu, the way Johnny felt himself getting more hysterical with each word Taeyong said. "I didn't know they were capable of this!"

"So you're drawing the line now?"

Johnny was ready to argue, get years worth of pent up anger for this man off his chest. Yet, with just six words, all that fighting spirit was ripped from his body. Seeming content with Johnny's silence, he continues.

"Deep down you knew who you associated yourself with. Besides, you're not so innocent yourself." Taeyong reaches for Nayeon's arm, watching with pity as Johnny grapples with his guilty conscious being pulled to the forefront. "Leave whenever you're done sulking."

"EVEN IN HER ABSENCE, EUNPRIL'S SUBSCRIBER AND FOLLOWER COUNTS SKYROCKET"

"VIDEOS SHOWCASING TWITCH STREAMER EUNPRIL'S NUDE PHOTOS SPREAD ON ADULT SITES"

"POPULAR STREAMER EUNPRIL'S PARENTS BEG INTERNET USERS TO STOP SPREADING HER EXPLICIT PHOTOS"

Attached to each and every new article is a blurred picture of Naeun's body. People are posting the photos on Twitter as a joke. Miles away from each other, both you and Johnny torture yourselves. Your eyes were straining from staring at your phones all day. You both could barely sleep, not with the potent feeling of remorse churning in your stomachs. The only difference is that Johnny was alone.

"Why are you torturing yourself, babe?" Jungwoo reaches over and covers your phone screen. You shut your eyes and sigh. By now they were uncomfortably dry. You lock and drop your phone on your nightstand. Jungwoo waits for you to respond but you don't say anything. "Beating yourself up isn't gonna solve anything, okay?"

"She still hasn't said anything.” You respond weakly as you stare at nothing in particular. “Radio silent."

\\ | //

Johnny: remember when we were talking about our school experiences?

Johnny: you told me you’d rather cut off a limb than go back to high school

Johnny: I thought about that a lot after you said it. I mean, yeah, who wouldn’t, unless you peaked back then

Johnny: I guess I felt validated by that a tiny bit. I know it’s hyperbole and you probably wouldn’t actually do that

Johnny: but I don’t think that’s such an absurd sentiment

No answer. Not even a flash of a typing animation.

Johnny: I just found out they were charging people for entry into the group chat

Johnny: it makes me sick to my stomach

Johnny: I can’t

Johnny: I can’t process this at all

The screen is filled top to bottom with his unanswered messages. The longer he stares, the more he’s faced with the possibility of her ignoring him.

\\ | //

"She's probably just waiting for everything to die down. That's normal for situations like this. I'm sure she's okay."

Not even a short tweet giving her fans notice that she's taking a break. No Instagram story with an immediate reaction. Nothing. "If I come out against YangYang..." You start, making Jungwoo shift forward from behind you on the bed. "Won't it just make everything more complicated? I don't have proof, so what will I contribute, really?"

Jungwoo lets the silence after you speak linger as he figures out an appropriate response. His mouth hangs open, really giving his words thought to avoid overwhelming you further, lest you stay bedridden.

"I'm gonna be honest. I haven't known you for a huge amount of time, but this doesn't sound like you talking." Jungwoo says, resting a warm hand on your side. When you don't answer he sighs, sitting up on his knees. "When I first met you, you had some problems with self-esteem. You'd claim that the things you said were stupid and agree with insults directed at you. But you still didn't let anything get in between you and the things you believed in. The woman I met freshman year did whatever she could to stick up for people who couldn't stick up for themselves. She didn't let anyone pressure her out of it, either."

There were so many moments during your school years when you begged, hoped, and prayed for things to change. That you'd wake up, get on the bus with Johnny, and not be afraid to enter the building. But time after time, you were shown how truly powerless you were.

Seeing other people in similar situations like that felt like you were watching yourself. Or worse. It felt like you were witnessing Johnny in pain all over again. You wish you could say your passion ceased once you came to terms with your past and that you stopped caring about Johnny.

Putting things into perspective, your decline of passion coincided with the berating starting to get to you. The more the boys belittled you, the less confident you were in your actions. It wasn’t long until you started questioning everything you’ve done, or if you’re actually helping the people around you. Did you actually ever help Johnny?

\\ | //

Johnny: if you’re seeing this, please just give me a sign

Johnny: anything

Johnny: you don’t even have to answer, just let me know you’re there

There was no one there to soothe Johnny’s thoughts. If he were in school again, you’d be there to pet his head and tell him not to worry about Taeyong. But you weren’t there. So Johnny continued to recollect every nasty action he ignored or even encouraged.

Johnny: you deserve justice for what happened to you

Johnny: people are on your side, if you came out and confirmed that you slept with YangYang that night and he asked for a picture, that’ll be the end for them

He drops his hand by his side, finally looking up from the screen after what seemed like hours. He sank his head into the plasticky pillows of his hotel room, looking up at the ceiling. The material crinkles right next to his ears, but its impact fails to penetrate his overworked brain.

I didn’t know.

What could I have done?

It wasn’t me.

Every attempt was a shot in the dark. Why wasn't this feeling fading, would it ever fade? Would he feel like this forever? The thought of that sends Johnny spiraling, desperate for a temporary buffer for this suffocating feeling. There was one place he would go that always helped him when he was alone. Imagining he was in a familiar pair of arms with your voice playing into his ears like a soft melody.

“Johnny, why are you crying? Please don’t cry. We’ll be okay, everything will be okay.”

Johnny takes a deep breath and holds it, letting his mind drift away for at least one moment.

Everything will be okay.

He brushes away a tear with his thumb before lifting his phone back up. Upon catching a glimpse of the typing indicator, Johnny sits up straight. His thumbs are frantic as they type.

Johnny: hi!

Johnny: I’m so glad to see you’re here

Johnny: I’ve been so worried, you haven’t been updating any of your socials

Being faced with Naeun’s silence once again, the guilt spreads further than can be ignored. There's only so much he can do with your memory before the guilt from that tears away at him as well. Tears stream down his face as he stares at his texts.

Johnny: please, do anything but ignore me

Johnny: yell at me, tell me I’m a piece of shit

Johnny: I’m dying here

Through his tears, he is forced to face the facts. She doesn’t want to talk to him. Not even to chide him. What if this is it? If she quits? Never speaks to him again? Never shows her face publicly?

With the suffocation at full force by now, Johnny succumbs to it, collapsing into the bed.

Johnny: I’m so sorry

\\ | //

“You’re not speaking again,” Jungwoo says defeatedly. You let in a fractured inhale, softly shutting your eyes in an attempt to ground yourself. With a slow exhale, you let them open again.

“I’m sorry. Where were we?” You turn around in your bed to face Jungwoo before leaning in for a kiss. It’s short and tender, efficient in its job of distracting you.

“We were talking about Naeun.” Jungwoo says in a low voice, wariness evident in the raise of his brows. Your grin stretches wide as you wrap your arms around his waist and pull him closer. “No, before that.”

“We were cuddling if I recall correctly.” He tilts his head to the side and peers down at you with narrowed eyes.

“I recall neck kisses. Why did you stop?” You expose your neck invitingly, raking your fingernails up his sides and causing him to shiver. He quirks his jaw, privy to what you’re pulling. Still, he swiftly shifts the two of you so that you’re on your back and he’s hovering over you. You gasp when he grabs your legs and pulls your crotch level with his. When he grinds down you inhale sharply.

“Don’t think you’re getting away scot-free.” Jungwoo grunts, the way his hips rock into you is rough, but how hard his cock is already shows how much he’s craving you as well.

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll talk of course. You owe me this anyway.” You purr the last part before wrapping your legs around his hips and pulling him harder against you. He coos, pouting as he brushes your hair out of your face.

“You must’ve been so needy without me here.” He tugs your shorts down, stretching the drawstring hem over your hips. He slips them off one leg, lifting the other higher to finally free them. He turns his head to plant a wet kiss on your calf. You hum, making quick work of your underwear before pulling Jungwoo back down by his shirt. With your left hand, you rummage through your nightstand before coming across a condom. He shoves his own underwear down, just enough to free his dick. After grabbing the condom from your hand, he rolls it on before brushing his tip against your clit. You shudder at the feeling.

Being filled with a comforting fire, you pull Jungwoo in for a hungry kiss, wasting no time licking inside his mouth. He eagerly kisses back, the force of his actions pushing your body flush against your bed. You moan inside his mouth as he pushes past your lips and enters your wet and swollen hole. You pull back to look at him with pleading eyes, attempting to communicate how painfully in need of this you were. He answers by capturing your lips again and thrusting you into the bed.

You yelp, Jungwoo was just a little too long for his own good. Each thrust brings his hips slamming against yours and you bite your lip. “T-too much.” you squeeze out.

“Hm, thought you wanted my cock?” He chuckles, shallowing his thrusts before leaning next to your ear. “Can’t handle all of it?” He snakes a hand up your chest and wraps it around your throat. You whimper as tears well up in your eyes. Your thighs clench around his hips subconsciously. Jungwoo huffs.

“Sending me mixed signals, darling.” He uses his grip on your throat to hold you against the bed as he leans away. His tongue darts out to moisten his lips as his dark eyes gaze into yours. “Is it too much or do you want me to really give it to you?” He quirks his brow as he watches you struggle. Jungwoo only fucks you like this when one of you wants to blow off steam or when he really needs to fuck. Right now it must be somewhat both since you know he can tell this whole situation is bothering you.

For the past week, you’ve been buzzing with a complicated emotion. You’ve barely had a moment to rest, physically and mentally. Actually, you can’t remember the last time you completely relaxed. There has always been at least one pressing issue weighing on you since middle school.

You’ve always been wary about, well, a lot of things. Scared of getting hurt. But thinking logically, what would actually happen? You won’t die, that’s for sure. Why shouldn’t you indulge in the things you really want to do?

“I wanna do it.” You grunt, pulling Jungwoo’s hand from around your neck. “I’m joining the Dreamies.”

“Wait, what?” Jungwoo’s entire aura changes as he’s filled with confusion.

“I’m just so sick of being worried about the things I want. I want a thriving career. I want to exist in a non-toxic environment. I want trustworthy friends who treat me well!” You ramble at the confused man above you.

“Okay, that’s great! What about what we were-” You cut him off by tugging him closer by his collar.

“I want you to fuck me hard and deep.” You hiss.

“You’re okay? I know I was trying to be sexy earlier but I actually wanna know if you can take it-”

“Just fuck me Jungwoo.” You say exasperatedly. He chuckles before flipping you over and hiking your hips higher.

“That can be arranged.” He grunts as he carefully inserts himself back into you. “Any updates on opening up about the Naeun thing…” He trails off, expecting you to cut him off.

“We were finishing what we started first, remember?”

\\ | //

The sudden noise of his phone ringing makes Johnny flinch. He sniffles, wiping away his tears before getting a better look at the name. He answers and slowly lifts the phone to his ear.

“Jaehyun? It’s been so long man!” Johnny says before clearing his throat, scrambling to sit at the edge of the bed.

“Indeed it has! I just heard about all this stuff and wanted to check up on you.” Jaehyun sounds just as sprightly as Johnny remembers. Johnny chuckles awkwardly.

“Y-yeah, it’s been a really… revealing situation.”

“I bet. As soon as I heard about it and heard about the accusations against you I thought, “no, couldn’t be Johnny”. I knew you’d never do something so despicable, that’s what I told Dejun.”

Is this why Dejun hasn’t been accusing Johnny? He’s been following him closely, waiting for his name to come up, but Dejun has yet to say anything regarding him. It was something Johnny started to think was inevitable. Any moment now, Dejun would end Johnny’s career for good. But he didn’t. And the hate has been ever so slightly clearing up. Which should make him feel better.

After Johnny doesn’t respond, Jaehyun continues. “Anyway, I also wanted to see if you were down to hang out like old times, maybe even stream together like we did at the very beginning. Without our old shitty webcams, of course.” Jaehyun says, jokingly assuring Johnny.

Johnny forces a short laugh. “Right, of course. Just like old times. I’d be happy to hang out with you again.”

“Cool. Ooh! Speaking of old times! How’s ___ doing? Think she could meet up too?”

\\ | //

“Ah- fuck!” You curl your fingers into your sheets as his cock barrels deeper than you thought possible. At first it was uncomfortable, then something primal unleashed within you the more his tip smashed against your cervix. “So fucking good-” You keen, pushing your ass back to meet his thrusts.

“I can feel you clenching. Gonna cum around my dick? Hm?” He reaches for your head and tugs at your hair. You moan embarrassingly loud, never answering him in favor of babbling nonsense. “Don’t go dumb on me now.”

He doesn’t help when he pounds into you harder than before, focusing less on speed and more on the power of his thrusts. You can feel him in your stomach, rearranging your guts like you’ve heard people raving about. It truly is all it’s cracked up to be.

“Make me cum please I want it so bad!” You mumble through sobs, feeling the intense pressure build up in your stomach. When he pushes your head into the bed your moans increase in pitch. Each thrust makes your legs quiver with more fervor. With an especially hard thrust, Jungwoo sends his tip so deep you can feel it in your toes. A sharp shriek flies from your throat as your hips fly backward and push flush against his. You jerk against him as your walls squeeze around his cock, gushing cum until it drips down your thighs.

“That’s it. Cum all over me.” He breathes, continuing to push your head into the pillows. You whimper as you come down from your high, feeling overcome with exhaustion. You plop down, collapsing into the covers. “Ah ah, I’m not down with that cunt of yours.” He plops down with you, hips finding yours again while his dick easily slips back in. You wince, but you love the feeling of his warmth as he ruts against you. Your phone rings and you smirk as you slap your hand against it.

“Be good.” You look back and mutter before answering. “Hello?”

“Hey! It’s Jaehyun! Remember me?”

You gasp, hoisting yourself up on your elbows. “Jaehyun?! Oh my god, it’s been so long! Of course I remember you.” You say incredulously, trying not to laugh at Jungwoo’s careful thrusts.

“Just checking, just checking. Seems like so much has changed. What’s this I’m hearing about you and Johnny not being in touch?”

Your smile falls, you maneuver your phone into your shoulder. “Yeah, things happen I guess.”

“Things happen?! You guys were the definition of inseparable! And friends since middle school? That’s a bond that’s hard to come by.”

You couldn’t blame him for being shocked. He wasn’t there to witness the transition. Seeing the two of you as high school seniors versus now is like witnessing two completely different sets of people.

“You know what I always told you, right?” Jaehyun says, and you could see the leery look on his face. He really hasn’t changed.

“I remember. You told us our friendship was too special to throw away.” You repeat, trying not to sound as unenthusiastic as you feel.

“I meant that then and I mean it now. The two of you just felt like you really got each other. More than that, you really helped each other.”

“Yeah.” You say louder than you meant to, desperately wanting to change the subject.

“Now that I know you guys are going through all this without each other, I definitely need to come. I’d hate to see you guys struggling.”

Again, the sincerity is really hard for you to ignore.

“It means a lot Jaehyun, and I really want to see you, but I think Johnny and I are a lost cause.” You explain earnestly.

“No way. I just can’t believe that, I’m seriously floored right now. Did you guys kiss or something? Because everyone was banking on you guys getting together.”

“No! Oh my god- it was nothing like that!” You start to blush at his words, and not at the fact that Jungwoo was cumming into his condom behind you. “Me and Johnny? No!”

“Why are you guys talking about Johnny?” You ignore Jungwoo who’s throwing away his used condom.

“Whatever happened, we can talk about it when I’m in your city. We’re gonna see each other at TwitchCon anyway, but I’d like to hang out with you guys before then.”

“Oh yeah definitely. I’m just not so sure about hanging out all together.” You report joylessly.

“For sure, I understand. I’ll make an effort to swing by your place whenever you’re free or go meet up somewhere else, just let me know.”

“Will do, I can’t wait to see you again.” Your previous excitement was completely wiped clean despite your efforts.

“Talk to you soon!”

“See ya, Jaehyun.”

You end the call and place your phone on your nightstand. It wasn’t the first time you’d heard someone say that. Everyone had teased you two about dating or liking each other. You thought it was just that, teasing. Especially since watching Johnny vehemently insist you weren’t dating seemed amusing to them. Never did you think it was serious.

“I ask again, why were you talking about the dickhead?” A puzzled Jungwoo asks as he puts his clothes on.

“I was talking to an old friend. He didn’t know about everything that happened.”

Jungwoo hisses knowingly. “That must be so awkward for both of you.”

“I-it’s like very awkward.” You shake his words about you and him dating out of your mind.

“I’m gonna jet, but I’ll text you later.” Jungwoo says as he pockets his phone. You sigh and roll your eyes.

“This simply won’t do. I need someone to fuck that doesn’t have a girlfriend.”

“Good luck finding someone who’ll make you scream like I just did.” Jungwoo says before your door clicks closed.

When he leaves, you’re able to fully reminisce about your times with Jaehyun before he moved away. Johnny solidified your love for gaming, but Jaehyun ignited your love for streaming. It was extremely fun, and even more sad when he left.

They were good times, but they were in the past.

taglist; @baehaechannie @maximumdreamchild @safariria

#johnny #cynics #jungwoo #nct #kpop #smut #angst #jungwoo smut #johnny angst #nct smut #kpop smut #nct angst #kpop angst

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allylikethecat · 6 months

Note

omg more prompts!! would love to see matty holding hands with george while he’s stressed out about something and then maybe later laying his head in george’s lap🥺

HELLO THERE ANON,

You sent me this WONDERFUL intimacy prompt literally three months ago, BUT I finally did it, I finally filled it! Better late than never? Right? I want to apologize though for taking so long to get to it, and thank you so much for sending it in. I hope that you're still around to see the response! I ended up combining the two- I hope that was okay! Please let me know what you think! Additionally, if anyone else wants to send in any intimacy prompts, the list can be found here. I can't guarantee that it won't take me three months to finish the next one, but I promise that I *will* eventually. I really enjoy working on prompt fills and even if it takes me forever to actually sit down and write them, just know that I am in fact always thinking about them!

Thank you so much for requesting this prompt, your patience since I am the worst and it took me months, for reading, and for your continued support! I look forward to hearing what you think!

❤️Ally

WARNINGS: Reference to past drug abuse

Holding hands during a stressful situation & Resting your head on your partner's lap

Matty hated flying. He hated the drive to the airport. He hated that they were always, inevitably, caught in stop and go traffic that made his already nervous belly churn, nausea burning the back of his throat. He hated leaving his bag with the airline agent, the worry that it would get lost, that it would get stolen, that it wouldn’t make it to his final destination even as he obsessively tracked its air tagged location on his phone. He hated going through security and border control. He hated taking off his jacket, and shoving his backpack into the plastic bin. He hated the scrutiny of the security agents as they took in his tattoos and the scars on his arms. He was always, without fail, pulled for random, additional screening. He always tried to smile good naturedly, anxiety bubbling in his gut, even if he knew he wasn’t truly chosen at random, drug dogs sniffing his ankles as they swabbed his hands for explosives. At least he got to carry his own passport now, it was no longer in Jamie’s clutches as if he was going to run off to score the second he was left unattended. (He never had even considered fleeing an airport to score, however, he had considered fleeing an airport to run back to the flat he shared with George and hide under the covers of their bed.)

He hated making his way through the crowded terminal, people rushing around him, knocking into him, suffocating him as he tried to remember how to breathe. The straps of his backpack digging into his shoulder. He knew there would be a red mark on the skin when he sat it down, there always was. He loved their fans, he loved them more than anything, but he hated that he could feel their eyes on him as he moved through the airport, taking pictures of him with his eyes downcast, the brim of his baseball hat pulled low as if it would be able to fully hide his mop of curls. Only for the pictures to end up on Twitter moments later, which led to more eyes seeking his location. The braver ones would approach him and ask for a picture with him rather than just of him from a distance. He would force a smile, his arm stiffly around their shoulders as he tried to focus on his breathing, his palms sweating as every fiber of his being screamed danger and run. He hated that they always seemed to be assigned the gate furthest away from the main artery of the terminal. He hated that his anxiety meant he needed to lay eyes on the gate, that he needed to verify that it was real before he could wait with the rest of their group in the lounge.

He hated that once he had dropped off his bag, and made it through security, and checked on his gate, that it was time to wait. Matty was not a patient person, he was even less patient when he was stressed, wanting things the way he wanted them right this instant. Demanding, George had called him one time with an amused smile and love shining in his eyes.

At this particular instant, he was both stressed and demanding, gripping George’s hand as if it was the only thing keeping him tethered to this earth as he dragged him through the crowded corridor towards their gate. He was more stressed than even his usual airport levels of airport anxiety. He hadn’t slept the night before, tossing and turning, worrying about the ten hour flight from LA to London they would be embarking on the next morning, popping piece after piece of nicotine gum as they inched towards departures in their rental van. They had played the last show of the tour the night before, and Matty was burnt out and ready to go home. Once at the airport, he had been, as usual, pulled for additional screening, the man that patted him down rough and inconsiderate. He had been stopped by a duo of fans less than five minutes later, forcing a smile as he tried to swallow down anxious tears threatening to spill. His heart was pounding in his chest, and his blood rushing in his ears as a man speaking loudly on the phone bumped into him, splashing him with iced coffee.

“You’re okay,” George soothed, giving Matty’s sweaty hand a comforting squeeze of his own, as the man turned away from them, glaring, as if they were the ones not watching where they were going. He swiped his thumb reassuringly against the back of Matty’s hand.

“The gate is just up ahead,” George said, pointing with his free hand to B37. “We still have an hour ‘til boarding.”

Matty nodded, wishing that seeing the gate with his own eyes would have loosened some of the tension in his chest, the way it usually did. George gave his hand another squeeze and Matty swallowed hard. George had calluses on his fingers and across his palm from years of playing the drums professionally, Matty loved that they slotted perfectly against his own guitarists calluses. Matty loved that George’s hands were so much bigger than his own, dwarfing his hand, his fingers wrapping fully around his own, engulfing them, protecting them from the outside world. He loved that even when he was shaking, even when his palms were disgustingly damp and sweaty, George never let go. He might have been the one clinging to George, but really, George was the one holding onto him. He closed his eyes, and tried to focus on the feel, on the weight of George’s hand, intertwined with his own. He could still feel his heart beating in his ears, but he no longer felt like he was going to drift away, like he was going to be pulled out to sea by the current and lost forever.

George pressed a gentle kiss to the side of Matty’s head. “Let's head up to the lounge, I would kill for a cup of coffee.”

Matty let himself be led through the crowd, their hands connected as if George was the tugboat guiding Matty’s ship to shore. George showed their passes to the hostess and they were granted access, the rest of their group already sprawled out on the couches, bags at their feet, coffee in hand. Matty swallowed a yawn, he was exhausted, and knew that coffee would help, but he also knew he wouldn’t be able to stomach the acidic liquid at the moment.

Matty sat down on an open two seater. Matty hated that he had to let go of George’s hand as he made his way over to the coffee bar, pleased that they were reunited a moment later, a steaming paper cup in George’s hand. He dropped into the seat next to him and without thinking Matty found himself leaning over, not caring that technically they were in public, to rest his head in George’s lap.

“I just want to go home,” Matty said softly as George tugged Matty’s hat off to run his fingers through the messy squashed curls.

“Soon love,” said George, “we’ll be home soon.”

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