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bfiaflbox · 4 months

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Tonight I wish I was your girl

Pairing: Matty x Reader Warnings: smut (praise kink, choking, unprotected sex) Disclaimer: Ok, so I literally had a dream about this and then decided to write it down and make it a fic. I swear, I'm not weird, I just tried to put the pictures from my dream into words. Also, in my dream Matty was sitting in the pub with Pete Doherty (who had "Fuck" tattooed on his forehead (??) and Zane Lowe but there was no scenario on earth that I could come up with that made that believable in any way so I took that out. (Fun fact: in my dream I did something my anxious ass would never do and just went up to Zane Lowe, ignoring everyone, and just asked "are you interviewing them or just having a conversation? I'm just asking because I love The Libertines (a lie) and the... the... The Matty Band" and he was just like "who are you I'm not interviewing anyone, this is rude"). Also my dream ended when they arrived at the house so the rest is made up.

2.6k words and I didn't proofread any of them.

It was probably a pathetic Idea but your intuition told you to get on a train and head to Wilmslow on Christmas Eve.

Your plans of spending Christmas had fallen flat because large parts of your family had contracted Covid and wanted to stay by themselves to not spread the disease. In a desperate attempt to not feel lonely, you looked up train connections to any of your friends houses that might take you in for Christmas, but there really was only one person you really wanted to see.

Two hours and seventeen minutes and you'd be in Wilmslow via Stockport. You booked the connection without thinking twice. It was only when you were actually sitting in the Avanti West Coast Train to Manchester Piccadilly at Euston station that you thought about how crazy your actions were. They were the actions of a desperate idiot in love. There was no denying you were in love with Matty but there was a great chance that to him you were probably just a friend. Just as you decided that this was a bad idea and you should go home now, the train started to move.

After a short panic attack and contemplating whether or not using the emergency break was warranted in this situation you decided to just text Matty.

You: Hey, are you having a nice time in Wilmslow?

Matty: Yeah. Well, it's family, love them but it can be a lot at once. Might head to the pub tonight to catch up with some old friends. What are you up to?

You: Nothing really. Since Christmas is cancelled this year, I'll just... improvise. Your plan sounds nice, though.

Matty: Yeah, something's missing though, to be honest. Or someone.

You just assumed he was talking about his grandma or a different family member and didn’t give it a second thought.

Me: Hope you have a great time nonetheless :)

///

You arrived in Wilmslow in the afternoon. On the train you had decided that once you arrived you'd walk around town a bit and then to get the next train home again because surprising your crush on Christmas Eve in his hometown is not the thing a normal person would do and you were definitely a very normal person and not at all a stalker.

You got out of wilmslow station and started to just walk straight ahead and see where the road would take you. You walked past parks and restaurants and shops that looked lovely but were mostly closed. Eventually the area became more residential and you couldn't help but notice that you tried to look into the windows of the houses in search of Matty. Right, that's it. It's getting dark and this is ridiculous you scolded yourself as you turned around to head back to the station.

As you walked by The Brewhouse and Kitchen you decided to get something to eat before heading back to London. The pub was crowded as you walked in. No wonder, it was one of the very few pubs that was open.

You looked around for a table to sit at when you spot Matty. You stare at him in shock. He's actually here. He sat in a corner booth with two other guys and had yet to notice you. Just as you were thinking about how you could make your way out of this scenario, Matty turned his head and looked right at you. You were fucked. There was no denying you were here now. His eyes grew wide and he stared at you with raised eyebrows. Right, this was definitely a mistake you thought but Matty waved you over to them excitedly.

When you didn't move because you were too embarrassed to do anything, Matty got up and made his way over to you. "Hii, darling, what are you doing here?" he asks excitedly. You couldn't answer. How do you tell someone that your family cancelled christmas, you were lonely and decided to go to the other person's hometown without telling them a word about it? Instead you just went up to him and hugged him. His arms enveloped you in one of his strong and warm hugs and it felt so incredibly good to be near him. "Surprise" you mumble into his chest. "Surprise indeed" he laughed. "It's so nice to see you. Come, sit with us." He lead you back to the table he shared with his mates.

After introducing you as his good friend and ordering your drink, Matty couldn't sit still. He was fumbling with either his glass, the table decorations or his fingernails until you decided to just take one of his hands in yours. An intimate gesture, you were aware of that, but it felt right and trusting your intuition was what helped you get here in the first place. Matty just looked at you with pure adoration and love as you felt him physically relax a bit.

After two more rounds of drinks, everybody decided to call it a night. You paid and made your way out of the pub where you said goodbye to Matty's mates. When they were gone, there was a brief silence between you until Matty spoke with the usual unserious tone: "You're so weird for coming to Wilmslow. How did you know where to find me?" "I didn't. I just walked around and... dunno" "I love that you're here. Come home with me?" "What and crash your familiy's Christmas, definitely not!" "Please? I can't let you take the train at this hour, it's dangerous!" we both know that's a lie "Also, what's waiting for you back in London? Please stay, my family won't mind, we're a pile of patchwork anyways" You looked at him and saw that he was actually excited about the idea. You just kept looking, noticing the light stubble on his face, the grey strands of hair at his temples, the eyebrows raised in anticipation and his lips. These fucking lips. You took your hand and raked your fingers through his hair. His eyes fluttered shut in enjoyment, a dopey smile forming on his lips. You decided then and there that you couldn't take it anymore. You could not go another second without knowing how his lips felt on yours, so you went up on your tiptoes, your hand anchored at the back of his head and crushed your lips to his. His hands came up to cup your face and you felt him reciprocating and deepening the kiss.

Your ears were ringing and your body felt like it was on fire. There's nothing else that mattered in that moment other than his lips on yours. After a few seconds you break the kiss and just smile. He's the first one to speak: "So it's settled then?"

You don't know if he meant the months of pining after each other or the question whether you'd stay or not but to both you just grinned and nodded.

He takes your hand and starts walking. It wasn't awkward, it was exciting. There was a lot of giggling and stopping randomly to snog on the way home but eventually Matty pointed to a house and said "that's us" as if you had always been a part of this and there had never not been an us.

Before putting his keys into the door he stops for a second and goes "Oh fuck, I'm sharing a room with my brother". You looked at him questioningly but he just continued "We have to be quiet, everybody's asleep". He opened the door and once you were inside he was on you, kissing your mouth, your jaw, a line down your throat to your collar bone. You couldn't help but let out an obscene moan and suddenly Matty stopped. He was looking at you with big eyes, raised eyebrows and a finger over his mouth that was curled into a smile, signaling to be quiet. "Sorry, sorry, fuck" you whispered with a giggle.

"Let's take the couch and figure something out in the morning" he suggested. "I can just take the couch and you sleep in your normal bed" "Baby, do you seriously think I will let you sleep alone tonight? Let alone on the couch in a house where nobody knows you are even there? If you'll have me, of course" "I really don't want to be alone, thank you" He smiled at that and kissed your lips again. So soft and so gentle.

Matty lead you into the living room and closed the door after you. The couch looked comfy, a suspicion that was confirmed when you plopped down on it. Matty laid down on his side behind you, opening his arms signaling you to lie down too. When you relaxed into his embrace as the little spoon, you felt all the anxiety and doubt and all the bad feelings leaving you. Feeling Matty's embrace made you feel invincible.

The position also let you feel something else which was the bulge in his pants that was growing and pulsing against your ass. You felt proud that you had this effect on him and so you took his hand that was resting on your hand in front of you and placed it on your lower belly, pushing it further down, all while moving your hips back into his growing hard-on. Matty let out a small groan "baby, we can't, they could hear us" "Please, Matty! I need you" you whispered, sounding incredibly needy. His hands slid under the elastic of your leggings and your underwear. "You need to be really really quiet" he warned and you believed him. His hand in your underwear spread your folds and slid through them, gathering some of the slick that had accumulated there. "Fuuuck, baby, you're so wet. Look at that, so so needy for me" he whispered, at which you just nodded. You needed him, you wanted him. You were so horny and needed some of that feeling to be released. He slipped two fingers inside and immediately started to fuck you with them. The room stayed silent except for the squelching sound of his fingers in your wetness and some heavy breathing. His movements were unrelenting. In a normal situation you would've screamed by now but you were biting your knuckles in hopes of staying silent while your orgasm was fast approaching. "Will you come for me baby, hm? Come on my fingers like the needy little thing you are?" at which you just managed to nod. Your orgasm hit you and you almost choked on the moan that was threatening to escape your throat as your walls clenched around Matty's fingers.

"That's it, baby. You did so well, staying silent." he whispered, kissing your shoulder between each sentence and you knew then and there that you couldn't go to sleep now. You kept grinding your ass against his boner and soon enough he knew what you wanted. "Fuck, baby, I can't fuck you, I won't be able to keep quiet" he whispers in your ear. "That's not fair, I need you to fill me. I feel so empty" you pouted while sliding your underwear and leggings off your legs. You kept grinding your naked ass into his boner until he was out of patience. Annoyed he kicked off his trousers and boxer shorts, flipped you on your belly and and angrily whispered in your ear "I swear to god if you make one sound this will have been the first and last time" before he lined up his cock with your entrance and started pushing inside.

The intrusion of his cock in your pussy felt divine. He was bigger than you were used to, plus you were lying on your belly which emphasised the sensation. "Oh baby, do I need to rearrange your insides to make some room for myself?" he cooed while relentlessly pushing inside you. "you're so tight, fucking hell". He stopped for a second as he buttomed out. "You alright?" "Yes, yes" you nodded.

"Fuck, you're so beautiful" he said as he pulled out until only his tip was still buried in your pussy and then slammed inside again. The slap of his pelvis against my ass rang out through the otherwise silent room. You weren't sure if you could take a pounding like that without anything to muffle your sounds so you grabbed a pillow off the couch and bit down into it but Matty wouldn't have it. He grabbed the pillow and threw it away. "You wanted this, remember? You're gonna take it and you're gonna be nice and quiet" and with that he started to fuck you in an unforgiving pace. When you were close again, you couldn't help but let out the tiniest whimper. In response Matty's hand came up to your throat and squeezed. That's what did it for you and you came on his cock, any cries that could have existed got muffled by the chokehold on your neck. "Baby, it feels so good when you come on my cock. Like you were made for taking it deep in your pussy." Your head was dizzy from the orgasm, the restricted blood flow and the praise. How did he know about your praise kink? "Can you come a third time tonight, hm?" he whispered at which you just nodded. "Oh baby, I'm gonna have to hear words, how else can I be sure?" "Please, yes" is all you managed to choke out, not able to form coherent sentences. It's all that Matty needed to hear. "On all fours, come on" he directed you to your knees and then started pounding you again. In this position he was able to fuck you incredibly deeper. His cock hit your cervix and the jolt of light pain that this stimulation triggered was making you lightheaded again. You felt so full, so incredibly, wonderfully full. When Matty's hand came round to your clit to help that promised third orgasm along you knew he had to be be close himself. "Come on, baby, come for me. Come on my cock" he was drawing quick circles with his fingers on your clit. Suddenly you could feel him spilling his cum inside you and it all became too much. You let out an overstimulated cry as you came a third time.

Matty stilled, cock still inside you and you didn't dare to make a movement or a sound. Fuck, did anybody hear you? You stayed like this for a few moments and when neither of you could hear anything in the house, Matty pulled out of you. You let out a shaky breath at the feeling of the unwelcome emptiness. You stood up, bit shaky on your legs and faced Matty with an absolutely blissful smile on your lips. "Thank you", you whispered and kissed him at which Matty just chuckled "I don't think anybody ever thanked me after fucking them" "Well that's just rude, isn't it?" you laughed and kissed him again. When you were able to feel his cum running down your legs, you asked for the toilet. You cleaned yourself up, thanked your past self for getting that IUD and went back to the living room. Matty was lying on the couch again, waiting for you to slot into position as his little spoon. You happily obliged and made yourself comfortable in his arms. "What will you tell your family tomorrow?" "That my new girlfriend surprised me in town, came home with me and saw a ghost, obviously" "Obviously" You had to laugh at that.

"I'm glad you're here. I was missing you like crazy" he confessed and kissed your neck. "I'm glad, too" you whisper. Once you were able to hear a light snore behind you, you added "I love you".

#matty fic #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy #the1975fanfic #matty healy x oc #matty healy x reader

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forcryingoutlloud · 5 months

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Beg for it

warnings: smut 18+ (minors dni!), handjob?, handcuffs, choking, spitting

a/n: 🤷‍♀️

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“fuck!-,” he throws his head back against the pillows and takes a few deep breaths before looking down at her, “what’d you do that for, i was so close!”

she smiles up at him from her place between his legs, resting her head on his thigh and gently tracing circles into his skin with her nail.

“i know,” she hums, kissing the tip of his cock, “but i’m having so much fun.”

his hips buck up from the bed when he feels her soft lips against his tip and he groans. he wishes he could hold her head still and fuck her throat the way he likes; the way she likes, but no. the fluffy handcuffs around his wrists prevent him from doing so.

she had been having her fun for almost 30 minutes, every time he was on the edge of release, she would cruelly take her hand or mouth away.

she gazes up at him, thrilled by his frustration and runs a soft hand up his length, biting her lip when he moans out. it’s not often that the tables are turned like this and she’s the one in charge, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t enjoying it.

he truly was a sight for sore eyes; his eyes glassy, his cheeks flushed, lips bitten raw. the tip of his cock was a dark shade of red, pouring out an endless stream of precum that she gathered in her hand, before spreading it around.

“oh god-,” he whimpered, “you’re such a little shit, just- let me cum-.”

she tutted and removed her hand from him completely, causing him to yell out in frustration.

“now, now matty,” he opened his eyes and looked down at her shit eating grin, clenching his jaw as she smirks up at him, “i want you to beg for it.”

he growls at her and stares at the ceiling, refusing to give in to her sick games.

“beg for it matty and i’ll let you cum down my throat,” she reaches up, her bare tits pressed against his chest as she whispers in his ear, “c’mon baby, be a good boy.”

that was the last straw for matty. he yanked his hands out of the flimsy cuffs and pounced on top of her. she yelps at the sudden movement, clearly not expecting it.

he grabs onto her hips with a bruising grip and flips them over so he’s on top of her. he smirks down at her and wraps a hand around her throat. she whimpers as her eyes glaze over, already falling into the submissive headspace that he loves on her so much.

“not so mouthy now are you sweetheart?” he flexed his fingers around her throat, her mouth dropping open in response. he wastes no time before spitting harshly into her mouth, forcing it closed with his hand, staring down at her when she swallows.

he holds back a groan and moves to press his tip against her sopping entrance.

“you’re in for it now, baby.”

#matty healy smut #matty healy x reader #the 1975 smut #the 1975 #matty healy oneshot #matty x reader #matty healy #matty fic

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selftitledshit · 4 months

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༺ nothing's gonna hurt you baby ༻

matty healy x reader blurb

✧ A/N: thank you guys so much for the love on my last post! i didn't expect ppl to like it but u guys rlly shocked meee. hope u all enjoy this tiny blurb while i try to write some more!

✧ Synopsis: After a long and rough day at work, you come home grumpy and in dire need of sleep. Matty catches on and decides to provide the comfort you've desperately wanted all day.

✧ Warnings: a little bit of angst??, suggestive touching, cuddling, flufff❤️‍🩹

✧ Vision Board: https://pin.it/2to6Akz

✧ Word Count: 507

You carelessly swing the bedroom door open, tossing your bag and your dirty shoes into the corner of the room. Matty quickly rises from the bed, slowly approaching your slumped figure.

"What's got my darling all gloomy tonight?" Matty teases, his hands reaching out to run along your body, stilling as they reach your ass.

"Not in the mood." You groan, slowly peeling off your tight, agitating work clothes. You saunter over to your dresser, pulling out a simple camisole and pair of shorts. As you slip them on, Matty appears behind you, running his fingertips along your arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You let out a long, exasperated sigh before muttering, "You really don't know how to listen, do you?" You turn to lightly punch Matty's shoulder, pushing him away.

"Ow!" Matty dramatically gasps, playfully stumbling back a step. "Watch out there, killer," he grinned, rubbing his shoulder. "M'just playing around, babe," he added, stepping closer to you again. "Nothing serious." You give him an unamused look, pushing past him to flop onto the bed.

Matty watches as you flung yourself onto the bed, a mix of emotions playing across his face. He sighed heavily before following after you, crawling onto the bed beside you. "What's got you so wound up?" You continue laying face down on the bed, your body sprawled out like a starfish.

"Today, it was a lot." You mumble against the sheets, tiredness in your muffled voice. Matty heard your mumbled words but didn't press for more information. He knew better than to push when you were in one of these moods. Instead, he slid his arm under you, gently pulling you against his chest.

You desperately crawl into his arms, your side pressed against his chest as you hug your knees in his lap. Matty wrapped his other arm around you, holding you close. He could feel your heart beating against his chest, and he knew that this was the only comfort you sought tonight.

"Shh," he whispered softly, running his hand soothingly up and down your back. You breathe lightly against Matty's skin, your eyes fluttering closed. You trail a hand up to play with Matty's curls, the only thing keeping you grounded.

Matty felt the soft touch of your hand in his hair, and it brought a small smile to his lips. He knew this was the only time you truly felt safe - when you were in his arms, seeking solace from the emotions budding within. You reach down to pull the covers up, nestling closer to Matty.

"There you go," Matty murmured, helping wrap the blanket around both of you. He felt your breathing begin to even out, knowing you would soon fall asleep. You wrap your arms around Matty's waist, pulling him close before you start to doze off. "I've got you," Matty whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. He held you close throughout the night, his heart full of love and admiration for this fragile, innocent thing that he couldn't help but cherish.

♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎

#matty healy fanfiction #matty the 1975 #the 1975 #matty healy x reader #matty fic #matty healy #the 1975 fanfic #matty x reader #matty healy imagine #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #matty healy x you #matty healy the 1975 #matty healy oneshot #at their very best

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noacfapologyst · 28 days

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telltale heart - matty healy. part 1

summary: you and matty have drifted away from each other due to both of your touring and recording. in the same way, time has made you lose more than the other. but in that sense too, it is when a proposal arises that seems taken from a fantasy.

wc: 2,6k

You lock the phone with a long sigh, you don't even try to control it. You should be happy, you know it and you know it's the moment that puts you back on top after past events.

But you can't, because you know everything that comes next. A Grammy nomination is perhaps all you've ever expected in your life, even more so than when that movie soundtrack hit the Oscar, and even though you didn't win it at the award, yoelt the same way. You read the information again, it is not the only nomination you have, since the same song is nominated for the Golden Globes.

It's crazy and immediately you radiate a small smile while you pet your puppy, and then you laugh a lot in your apartment, in the dark. Right at your best moment, when you should be sitting between champagne and bottles celebrating, he decides to throw everything away and not be here.

Your manager calls you early in the morning, congratulates you on the nomination and updates you on issues that honestly could not interest you less. You don't want to think, or maybe you don't allow yourself, about all the anxiety these weeks will bring.

In your head you can already read the news portals made with perhaps too much enthusiasm on the part of the tabloids: The legend that sweeps everything in its path is crowned with nominations for the Grammys, the Oscars and the Golden Globes for the soundtrack of the film of the year! Unstoppable: even with a broken heart it still surprises us!

You take it out of your head, and you try to sleep, but you can't, and you give up. You open your nets and release a general thank you for the nominations and read everything very high up, lately the nightmare has become that: Doing a lot of research causes crisis and tears.

You get out of bed and change your pajamas for something more comfortable to go out with. It's winter, although it's not that cold, so you just confirm with a sweater and some worn jeans. You take the car keys and without warning you drive down the road for a while with only one place on your mind: the study.

When you see the facade of Dirty Hit everything seems to calm down a little bit, you're coming home, or going back to it. You never get separated, maybe because you live 15 minutes away, or maybe it's because you and your best friends went into that studio in the same year and grew up inside, practically. The aura envelops you, it's familiar, it's homely, and you allow yourself to blink a little more while feeling some tears fall.

You don't try to dry the drops of water off your face, it's almost 3:00 in the morning and there's no one for miles around. You pass your card through the reader and open the door, letting the smell of poorly roasted coffee and cleanliness reconnect you to your most vivid memories. Where you were happier, less known, and you didn't have to try to look cheerful all the time. Those were better times, no doubt.

You go up the elevator, not without first leaving a note at the front desk clarifying that you entered with the security key, and that you had to come to record something beforehand, so as not to generate thoughts about some theft or something like that. Inside the elevator, you look in all directions, and you realize that your hair is disastrous. You make a bow as much as you can and point to the second floor.

There are lights on everywhere, but you don't think it's worrying. Then you open the door, and you do nothing but feel your heart fall on the tip of your tongue, you melt.

Your best friend is with his back to you, on the controls playing buttons nonstop trying to find a sound that will stand out from the rest, it has always been and you can't expect anything else. There's a trail of coffee cups that reveal how many hours she's been here, but everything falls apart when you see her figure reflected in just a flash of light.

Her curls are out of control, perhaps because she hasn't had time to adjust them. He's got a sweater and a messy pair of pants, but he's still fantastic. Although he has a stronger skin tone, he's been tanning since the last tour. You haven't had a chance to see it, as much as you wanted, since the fame came to them everything has become shorter and harder to program.

But right now, nothing else matters. No tabloids, no insufferable managers, it's just him and you. Just like old times.

You walk quietly to keep him from getting scared, and then you run your arms under his ribs sucking his perfume in motion, grasping him tightly from behind as you feel him startled by the sudden fright. Then calm down as you raise your hand and notice your distinctive rings; the one he gave you when you were 11, and the one he gave you when you were 20, engraved on silver with your initials.

"Please, tell me that you are really here." Ask, without moving. "Please, tell me that you are really here." He asks, without moving, as if he's afraid to break the moment. You let go of the grip a little bit and you put your head on one of his shoulders, and you kiss his cheek.

"Hey, Matty." You smile, and then he turns around so he can see you. When the grip breaks, he takes you in his arms and brings you close enough to him. Stir your hair and finally part.

It takes a while to appreciate you without taking the silly smile off her face. You smile the same, you know for a long time that you've fallen for him, anything I do will make you smile. You love him, you've accepted it already. But you've accepted the other part too: that he does, but as a friend. There's nothing more.

"You're such a winner, congrats for the nominations." You come out of the trance and look at him. - He's noticed?! - Smile, maybe that's the compliment you want most.

"Did you see it?" You take a seat on the small sofa in the living room, without missing the opportunity to follow the steps with your eyes.

"Nope, I was absorbed the whole day here." Answer with the obvious. "But I don't need to watch it, I just knew you would become nominated. The song is amazing, if they didn't if they didn't give you this, I would have personally gone to burn the jury."

If you couldn't control your tears in the elevator, this becomes like a joke. You climb up for yourself, and you look at him with all the truest love you have for him. You've missed him these months, you've needed him.

"Dont be modest." You stick out his tongue and lay your head on the sofa."I have missed you, a lot. The infidelity thing was really hard."

"Oh, honey. I missed you, too." It makes a semi-pout and again you feel your heart falling. He's looking for something in the study because he crosses his eyes, until he finds his box of cigarettes."I need to stop, lets go outside and then you can tell me." He proposes, and you nod quickly.

They leave the studio in a quiet that is not uncomfortable, the night is at its best and you wish you could say the same about both, but each looks like the end of a car race, and whatever you prefer, it's more natural.

They walk to the largest window on the second floor, and with a little effort they manage to open it. They both rest their arms on the brown frame and are enveloped by the dawn breeze.

You smile nonstop and take advantage of every second to gaze at what has been your person all your life. Every moment you spend next to him has become a torture knowing that you can't just run off to kiss him or tell him you love him and you'd see everything fall overboard just to be next to him.

You've seen every single one he's put in his room, the ones he's taken out, the ones he's worked with and the ones he hasn't. You've been a part of everything, but never the way you want to be. For your part, you've tried everything to swallow your feelings for him, but when you're alone, he's the only person you want to be with, and when you have someone, he never feels the way he should feel.

It's crazy when you think about it because you're one of the most famous british girls in the world, and you could have whoever you like in your bed or in the bed of some fancy hotel. You could sleep with the most acclaimed actor, the best businessman, and yet, you can't really have the person you love, even if you've melted your heart into him. The person you've fantasized about more times than you've been awake is not yours at all, while you are his in the whole.

A touch on your shoulder distracts you from the whole cataract of thoughts. "Hey, you were here a few moments ago."

"I'm here, I promise." You raise your shoulders and support the right on the frame as you turn to stand sideways. "I was just....thinking."

Take one of the cigarettes out of the box, bringing it to your mouth, and then close the lighter to light it. "So, I'm all ears."

"I don't know Matty. It was really a shit." You sigh and automatically teleport to the day you found out. "Imagine, you are in a interview for a magazine and when you are going back to your home, you see in twitter that your boyfriend has cheating on you." You sigh a little tired, after all he was one of your best boyfriends and you loved him enough to let it not affect you. "And, of course, it was a photo." You see him blow off the smoke in a puff and then turn around to see you, with a pretty sad facial expression. "Finally, the guy you've dating six months has the best idea: telling you that you bored him and he doesn't love anymore."

You could count more, but it's enough. You breathe and stick your head out under the window to feel the fresh air. When you come back, you see in slow motion how their expression goes from worry to anger and hatred. In the middle it takes another puff, and then exhales in front of the moon. Every time you see him smoking, he looks so alive, so human, and so easy to desire. You often wonder how his lips would feel.

"Oh god. I'm so sorry." He approaches with a step, cutting the distance between the two. There is a moment of doubt when the two find themselves in a contest of furtive glances on the lips, but no one has the initiative to go one step further. Neither of them would ruin it, because neither of them knows that they actually feel the same way. "I'm really sorry, darling. You don't deserve someone to treat you like that."

"Whatever, Matty." You know with one move you could have it all, but it hurts to have to let it go.

You. He. An empty study. Moonlight through the window. Your lips and his lips. Well, maybe you can write a song about them.

"Do you know the worst part?" He plants a kiss on your forehead and then makes his retreat backwards. He shakes his head listening to you carefully. "I don't have an appointment for the awards, they will put me with anyone I don't know. He will go, I'm sure, to someone much better. And it will be hell." You consider that your concern is actually far from being it, maybe they're just taking it too hard. "Sorry, it's stupid."

"Actually I get it." He looks at you with a smile full of honesty mixed with tranquility. He's so peaceful when he doesn't have cameras on him, he's such an easy person to take refuge in. "Fame is dark."

"Don't even say it." For the first time in a long time, you're fully aware of how silly the tone of the conversation is.

"I could be your date, if that's what you're worried about." He proposes after a while, as if it were the most obvious and easiest answer in the world. He rejoices at the way your cheekbones contract and your eyebrows go down looking at him with confusion.

"Wow...wait, what?" Your head now looks like a maze. All wires mixed without a connector in between. You're sure he's kidding you.

"I'm being serious." It seems to read your mind, but maybe it just decipher your face. "Look, you have the option of going with someone you don't know. Or I can go with you and make it easier for you."

Could you ever even get to Matty? Your answer then comes when he winks at you with a head move mixed in an obvious laugh. You can't tell him that maybe all you've ever wanted is to have him on an official date, or have him on an official date until the day you leave the world, it's not a moment you want to ruin like that. But even so, he still fulfills everything you've ever dreamed of him.

Both coming to a red carpet. The yellowists go crazy because someone of such a corrupt and controversial reputation shouldn't go hand in hand with someone with such a delicate demeanor as yours, with such formality and finesse. Networks explode, they've got them on the headlines for days. You and Matty laughing from the inside, refugees at each other. And even if it wasn't official as a couple and they were just friends, would there be anything better to ask for?

"The offer won't last forever, honey."

"Fine. I'll accept it." You roll your eyes dramatically and then take up your previous posture. "I'm joking. I would love for you to come with me to the awards." You get up and you stretch. Then you kiss his cheek and smile silly at her without hiding the emotion about it. You think it's not so hard to find out that you're in love with him sometimes like that. "Thank you for this Matty."

"It's gonna be funny." He takes off and starts walking when he suddenly yawns. "I think I'll back home. You eat?" They both walk towards the elevator when they turn off the butt, you turn your head down.

"I don't think so. I want to try to record something, or write." You explain when they get into the elevator, in a couple of seconds you're back on the floor from the beginning.

"Good look with that and good night honey." He gives you a final kiss on the cheek before he leaves. "Oh and...I love how the red color looks on you." He raises his voice taking advantage of the lack of people and disappears through the doors.

Then the red dresses your cheeks.

this is my first fanfic here so i hope you enjoyed it. please let me know that you think about and make me know if you want to be in the taglist.

see you soon 🤍

#matty healy 1975 #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy #matty the 1975 #matty healy fic #matty healy x you #matty healy x reader #matty healy x oc #matty healy x y/n #telltale heart au #the 1975 fanfic #the 1975 fic #matty x reader #matty x you #matty fic

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brnesblogposts · 2 months

Text

you know who you are

pairing: matty healy x reader

I don’t agree with writing smut about real people so this is all fluff :>

reblogs appreciated if you enjoy :))

The vibration of your phone on your bedside table disturbed your sleep, as you whined and blindly grabbed for it; you were about to press cancel on whoever was calling you until you saw his name.

“Hi.” Suddenly you were chipper as you answered the call. “Hey, darlin’” Matty responded and then an awkward silence ensued until you spoke up again, “Is something up? Why are you ringing me at 3am? You okay?” Concern laced your voice,”I just can’t sleep, sorry I woke you but I was just wondering if you’re coming to the show tomorrow night? Or tonight now I guess” he laughed softly at his joke and you did too. What a dork.

“Yeah I’m in the stands though, by the time I got onto the website all the best tickets were gone, but don’t worry I’m sure you’ll be able to hear me cheering you on! I’ll be the loudest in the room!” You really did wish you managed to get front row tickets, but you’d support him from the stands and probably lose your voice in the process.

“Are you having a laugh? Y/n you’re one of my best friends you don’t need to buy tickets, you’re on the guest list..” There was humour in his voice and you could only imagine his grin, “Well. You’re welcome for the extra money I guess! Have a drink on me” The both of you laughing at your remark, “Sell those tickets alright? I don’t need you spending money on me, I’ll have a car pick you up a couple hours before the show so be ready by about six, yeah?” You nodded before realising he couldn’t see you.. face palm!... “Yes your majesty” you sassed back. “Oh Piss off, my girl deserves V.I.P. Treatment.” The way he said ‘my girl’ had you giddy, you were just very good friends though. Nothing more.

“I’ll let you get back to sleep now, Goodnight Y/n”

“Night, Matty” you replied quietly before putting your phone back on your bedside table and nodding off again.

………………

The next morning

Around seven hours after your sleep was disturbed by Matty you decided it was time to get up, at only 10am there was no rush so you made the most of your day and got some housework done.

Next time you look at your phone it’s about 3 so you decide to start getting ready; hair and makeup done it was now down to the outfit which was the most difficult part of this process. You decided on black trousers, a white dress shirt and your leather jacket. By the time you were done getting ready it was about 5:30 and there was a text waiting for you

‘Can’t wait to see you, been too long X.’

Matty was right, it had been at least a month since you’d seen him because you’d both been so busy with work.

‘See you soon! <33’ was your response. About ten minutes later there was a knock at your door, “Here to pick up Miss y/n?” The man asked, “That’s me! Thank you for this” you were sincere in your words, you really could’ve made your own way there but Matty wouldn’t of had any of it so you didn’t bother arguing when he said he was sending a car.

About 45 minutes later you arrived at the venue and with the flash of his badge your driver continued on until coming to a halt at the back and getting out to open your door. “Thank you so much” You flashed a smile and headed for the entrance, “Band and staff only, please” the brooding guard did not move a single muscle as he barred you from entering. You simply huffed and walked away to make a phone call.

“Hey it’s me” you felt bad asking for help but how else were you gonna get in the building? “Hi, You okay?” was her response and you quickly put her worries to rest “Yeah I’m fine but the security guard won’t let me in, Charli can you sneak out and come get me? I want to surprise the guys and they’re probably busy with soundcheck so I don’t want to distu-“ Charli cut you off before you could finish rambling, “I’ll be there in a second, take a breath!” She laughed before hanging up.

The door swung open to the guards surprise and Charli came running out grabbing you in a tight hug, “Y/n I’ve missed you so much! Way too much testosterone in there” With that you both let out a laugh before turning and taking her hand while she walked you to the green room.

“Guess who I’ve found!” She announced before stepping aside and letting you move forward, a chorus of “Y/N!!” Sounded before you were taken into a crushing hug, the perpetrators beard tickling the side of your face. “Hi Ross!” You squealed as he released you from his arms and before you could breathe the same thing happened with Hann and George, “Don’t break her guys” Charli intervened. There was someone missing, the person you wanted to hug most (no offence to the rest of them, but this one was special) “Where’s Healy?” You inquired. “Havin’ a shit” Ross answered you before you all grimaced, “Tmi” Charli whined but before anyone else could say anything you heard a dramatic gasp from the doorway

You turned around to find a curly headed man staring at you, a smile plastered on his face. Before you knew it he was picking you up and twirling you around as he hugged you “My darling Y/n!” He set you back down on the floor but his hands remained respectfully on your hips, “Hello!” You squealed before hugging him again.

“Did you get over here alright?” He asked with genuine concern and you assured him you did. “I had to go rescue her from outside because the security guard wouldn’t let her in!” Charli interrupted and Matty turned to face you, “Why didn’t you call me, I would’ve rescued the damsel in distress”

“I didn’t want to disturb you if you were practicing and I wanted to surprise you and the guys together, didn’t work anyway ‘cos you weren’t even here”

“I was-“ Before he could finish he was interrupted by Ross “Havin’ a poo!” He laughed. And Matty smacked his arm.

“You look lovely by the way, I wonder who your style inspo’ was for tonight” He raised a brow,“Timotheé Chalamet” You snarked back with a straight face. “Alright, you can go home now.” He stated and turned away but you grabbed his arm and turned him back to you, “I was kidding, obviously! You are my only style inspo’ Matty, promise.” You patted his cheek and went to sit down on one of the sofas.

“Where’s Carly, Hann?” You looked at the man and asked, “She stayed back with the baby who isn’t feeling too well right now” He smiled back “Sending all my love to baby Hann and also to Carly because I miss her.” You frowned and then smiled at Hann. Matty came and squeezed between where you and Ross were sitting on the sofa and earned a glance from his best friend, “What?” He scoffed and lay his chin on your head taking in the smell of your shampoo, “Jealous much” was Ross’s reply and Matty defended himself, “I’m sorry” he exaggerated “that I missed my near and dear friend who I have not seen in over a month!” He rolled his eyes.

“You know the rest of us haven’t seen her either but we aren’t sniffing her hair” Charli spoke back straight faced “Piss off the lot of you” Matty said as he hid in your hair and you just laughed at their antics, you missed this.

About half an hour of just catching up and talking passed, Matty glued to your side the whole time, before the guys needed to head to stage, “Can I just put you in my pocket and take you out there with me?” Matty looked at you with soft eyes and you let out a laugh, “I am on the side of the stage, love. Just look for the dancing lunatic in your peripheral” you smiled at him. With that you wished the guys luck and they headed to state while you and Charli hung back at side stage listening to the thousands of adoring fans screams.

The lights dimmed soon after and then you heard his classic intro

“We are the 1975, the best band to ever exist” The screams increased and they started playing the intro of ‘Somebody to Love’ Charli and you danced and sang along all night, occasionally George would look at Charli from where he was on drums and they’d smile at each other, Matty was way too into the show and you didn’t blame him and it’s not like you were together so you shouldn’t of expected him to do the same.

It was nearing the end of the show and you didn’t know what the next song was gonna be and then the intro to ‘about you’ started. Matty looked right into the camera and mouthed “This is about you, you know who you are, I love you” and then your heart stopped beating because as soon as the lyrics started he locked eyes with you.. “I know a place..” suddenly you felt nervous and a blush creeped up your neck while charli elbowed your side. He turned back to the ground and you let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding, “He didn’t just-“ was all you managed to get out “He did.” Charli replied and shook your shoulders, she was overjoyed for you because god knows you have talked her ear off about Matty for months now.

The song went on, Matty stealing glances at you every once in awhile, each time making your stomach drop, and then right at the end on the last line he turns 45 degrees and points directly at you not breaking eye contact “Do you think I’ve forgotten about you..” and time stood still for what seemed like years but it was only a short few seconds and then the lights dimmed. For the rest of the set he didn’t glance your way again and you couldn’t really focus. You wanted him to come off of that stage, you had so many questions.

“Just before the guys’ set ended you and Charli headed back to the green room because she could see you were anywhere else but watching the show.

“You alright? Before he gets back talk to me” She sat with you on the sofa “I’m just so confused? It caught me off guard that’s all, I don’t really have any words right now, still very much processing” you laughed lightly but inside you were screaming. “Just take some deep breathes” Charli breathed with you and it actually helped settle your nerves quite a bit.

A few minutes later the green room door swung open and George, Hann and Ross came stumbling in on a high, adrenaline pumping from the show. They were shortly followed by Matty. You decided you needed to talk to him right now or you would go crazy. “Matty, can we um talk outside, privately?” Your voice soft and he nodded heading back out. You followed closing the door behind you.

“Y/n I’m so sorry- I’ve come on too strong haven’t I? I don’t want to lose you as a friend if you don’t feel the same, I fuck. I don’t know why I-“ before he could finish your lips were on his shutting him up and he melted into the kiss, the both of you confirming what you knew was true for awhile, “I love you too” you looked into his eyes and replied to what he mouthed indirectly on stage, at this he smiled so bright and kissed you again.

“I can’t believe that song worked” He said as you both embraced and he kissed your forehead, he had finally got his girl.

#matty healy x y/n #matty healy x you #matty healy angst #matty healy x reader #matty x reader #matty the 1975 #matty healy #matty fic #the 1975 fic #the 1975

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thisisnotmeta · 4 months

Text

Million Dollar Man

Chapter 1

Sent.

There it was—my very first music contract signed.

My hands swiped back and forth between the 'sent' and 'draft' inboxes, confirming the reality of the moment. The air shuddered with anticipation as I blankly stared at my inbox, silently praying for a reply in the mere 1.4 seconds since I hit 'send.'

Fresh out of university last year, I found myself grappling with the realisation that I needed to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. Studying history had its limits—teaching or diving into more debt for a specialised master's degree were the conventional routes. However, nestled in the corners of my life was my little secret—I'd always been a songwriter. It wasn't something anyone really knew about until 3 months ago. After a drunken night in with my mum, I mustered the courage to share one of my demos with her. Her insistence that it was the greatest piece of music she'd ever heard, albeit the expected maternal praise, boosted my confidence. The morning after, armed with nothing more than my shitty Amazon mic and GarageBand, I sent three of my best demos to four different music labels across the country.

In the agonising months of waiting for a reply from any label, hope slipped through my fingers with each passing day. Just when despair threatened to engulf me, a glimmer of possibility emerged two weeks ago. Emails from two labels requesting in-person meetings to discuss my music further landed in my inbox, a lifeline amid the silence. Navigating a whirlwind 24-hour trip to London, I juggled the meetings, fueled by a mix of nerves and excitement. Having returned to my parents' home post-university, my part-time receptionist job became the financial anchor for one day moving out and starting my own new little life.

The journey from the North to London felt long, god it was so long, yet the promise of these potential signings kept me going. The meetings with both labels exceeded expectations, but Dirty Hit held a specific pull on me. They not only understood my musical aspirations but, to my disbelief, I met specifically with the label's founder, Jamie Oborne. A stark contrast to the very very lovely but somewhat underwhelming talent scout at the other label, Dirty Hit resonated with me on every level—the sound, the artists, the team. It felt like a perfect fit, a musical home where my compositions seamlessly blended with their illustrious discography.

The dream was a reality when Jamie extended the signing offer. Without hesitation, I accepted. The train ride back, though again, immensely long, was some of the best fun I’ve ever had. Amidst the clatter of the tracks, I scribbled down fragments for future songs, mapped out my imaginary world tour, envisioned albums, and even planned my Met Gala outfit. The euphoria of realising a lifelong dream had just basically become a reality in a matter of months hadn’t given me any time to process anything. But I was absolutely ready to potentially start something absolutely amazing. And here I was sitting in front of my MacBook, staring blankly at my Gmail.

The next few weeks were a whirlwind, a lot of online meetings, emailing and future discussing. Jamie liked my demos and wanted to get them produced and mixed professionally as well as teach me how to do it myself. I travelled back to London a few times in the weeks prior to practice and test with different producers the team thought I’d mix well with. My most successful session was my most recent, as Dirty Hit expensed a hotel for me for two nights in London to focus on my time in the studio. Ben Gleason, one of Dirty Hit’s leading producers, was someone who truly understood my music and shaped it in a way that I could genuinely hear one of my demos appearing on the radio, it was crazy. His vision and expertise were admirable to anyone. My demo, over the past 15 hours we worked on it, had turned into a real, titled potential single – ‘Million Dollar Man’.

Before I was sent to travel back home, we sent it off to the team to listen to and give feedback. It was a success, thank god. Waiting for the train to come in at Kings Cross, the sound of my ringtone filled my headphones. As I looked at my phone, I wasn’t fazed by the ‘unknown’ number and filled my boredom by answering it anyway.

‘Hello?’ I said in a slow voice, totally expecting some type of phone provider or accident scam, which usually came with answering unknown numbers.

“Hi, is this Camille?” A chirpy, womanly voice replied back to me.

“It is, yeah,” I replied nonchalantly. “Who is this, sorry?”

“Perfect! It’s Holly from Dirty Hit,�� She replied. My breathing hitched, okay this phone call was important then and not just fun. This must be Jamie’s assistant, who I met a couple times through our Zoom meetings. “Thought I’d give you a little ring, so you can get my number saved and so I can update you on some things! We’ve just had a meeting today about what we want to do with you in the next few weeks and we went through everything you talked about, and we were thinking about potentially focusing you more on studio time right now, and we are wanting you to build on the songs you are in the process of and create one really really strong song that we can put out as your debut. What are your thoughts on that?”

“I think that’s a great idea! Ben and I were brainstorming a lot of songs that had great potential, so it would be cool to work with him again,” I practically begged through the phone. Ben is most definitely my favourite producer in the three I’d worked with in the short time. As much as I think Million Dollar Man is perfect, there are so many that might even end up better.

“Yeah, Ben is one of the best, especially for your sound,” she agrees, pausing for a second as she clicks what sounds like a pen and takes time to write something down. “We were thinking of sending you and a couple of our producers on a work getaway and maybe taking the time that you are there to write some songs and find your own dynamic with them, what do you think?”

“Of course, I’d love to!” I exclaim through the phone. Walking through the station to get to my soon departing train back home. Amazing, more studio work, more song writing - I have been dreaming of getting phone calls like this for years.

I have so many ideas in my head and written in my notebook just waiting to be explored with real professionals like Ben. I just prayed silently in my head that my quick praise of him would lead them sending him on the getaway along with whoever else they wanted to send with me - probably Joel or Vanna, the other two producers I had worked with in the time I’d been here. Joel’s sound was old school and he loved that classic drum in the background. Of course I didn’t hate it; he always made it sound gorgeous, but I loved the more earthy, tender sounds - songs that you could sit in the bath and vibe/pour your eyes out to. Vanna’s sound was cool, she worked a lot with the 1975, Dirty Hit’s biggest signing. Working with her was very fun, hearing about her stories with them and lots of other big musicians she has produced allowed me to have a little fangirl moment a couple times in the studio.

“Do you have an idea on which producers are coming along?” I continued.

“I’m just gonna give Ben a call and see when he’s available,” she replied. Yes! Thank god. “Thought I’d give you a call first before I called anyone else… but I know you haven’t met yet but Jamie thinks it would be a great opportunity to work with Matty aswell.”

“Matty… Healy, from the 1975?” I stutter. Surely not, I know he worked with Baebadoobee and a couple others on their latest work but surely he wouldn’t take the time to work with someone who’s just starting, would he? I wasn’t a huge 1975 fan, but I knew of their songs and Matty’s work and I admired them a lot. I’d kill to get to the level they are, but all in good time.

“Yeah, actually!” She laughed slightly through the phone. Woah. “He actually works a lot with our artists to establish their sound, you know what I mean? and he’s really talented, I promise. He was a part of our meeting today and he’s got a lot of good ideas that I think you’ll like, not to mention all the advice he can give you with starting out and he can talk you through his own experiences as well.”

“That’s amazing, I love his work!” I smile to myself, probably looking like an idiot in front of all these serious, fast walking Londoners. It seems so unbelievable that Matty Healy would take any time out of his busy schedule to work on my music, he must be bored. “If that’s something he is interested in, then I’d absolutely love to work together on something.”

“Okay, that’s perfect!” She replied. “No, he’s very interested, don’t worry. He went with Beabadoobee on a work getaway a few months ago, working on some new stuff and they made some gorgeous music - think he just wants the bragging rights again really. But, honestly he’s a star, you'll love him.”

As I was settling myself down on the busy train, Holly was writing down my best dates for the trip and ended the phone call pleasantly soon after. A Sunday to Wednesday a few weeks from now was the time they had written down for Matty’s availability and that worked with me! God knows where they were going to take us, but I couldn’t help but get excited. Me, Ben and sexy Matty Healy. I just hope he’s not a dick.

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awellposhmagazine · 1 month

Text

hurt so bad by the 75 break that i've abandoned all shame (got an obnoxious tattoo & started writing fic) after like eight years of pretending to be normal about it . hi

#the 1975 #matty healy #matty fic #matty healy x reader

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undoing-anobrains · 9 months

Text

you bring me home - matty healy

pairing- matty x f!oc

summary- following her fiancé suddenly calling off their engagement caroline daniel finds herself moving in with her brother and his best friend who she had a huge crush on as a teenager just in time for a worldwide lockdown.

(smut marked *)

chapters:

part one

part two

part three

part four

part five

part six

playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2ZiF3dDPxvCjjWBn8BRf6C?si=iVzsKHeESWWO3qmImjbssw

#matty healy #the 1975 #matty healy fic #the 1975 fanfic #matty healy x oc #george daniel #adam hann #ross macdonald #matty fic #matty x reader #you bring me home #Spotify

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bfiaflbox · 3 months

Text

The only time I feel I might get better

Pairing: Matty x Reader Warnings: Mentions of Drugs, drug use, alcoholism and recovery Disclaimer: All I know about this is second hand knowledge and things I googled so don't get mad when I get something wrong. I just thought this scenario is an interesting one and wanted to type it out. I kind of hate and love it at the same time.

It‘s around 11 pm when your doorbell rings. You were about to go to bed and were definitely not expecting visitors, so you‘re hesitant about answering. The doorbell rings again. „Y/n, are you there?!“ you hear a familiar voice shout. It’s Matty. In the middle of the night. Frantically ringing your doorbell. This is not a good sign.

You open the door to a disheveled looking Man who seems like he‘s about to cry. He‘s breathing heavily and fidgets with his hands. „I fucked up“ he almost whispers. Without asking any questions you let him in and go into support-person-mode.

The second the door closes behind Matty, he starts rambling. „Fuck, I‘m sorry, I’m so SO sorry. I'm so fucking tired, I can't think. I fucked up. I don’t know what came over me, I just couldn’t fight the urge to use anymore so I went out and…“ tears start falling down his face.

„Okay, okay, breathe!“ you try to convey as much calm as you can and look him in the eyes. You notice he doesn’t look particularly high or out of it just… sad and tired. „Is it ok if I touch you?“ it’s the most important question in this friendship of yours, however fucked up and complicated it may be. He had to ask before he could touch you every time not to trigger something in you, and you extended the same courtesy to him. He nods and you start to stroke his arms. „How about you come in and we talk?“ and maybe calm down before going to see a professional about it.

He nods and both of you make your way to the living room and sit down on the couch. Matty buries his face in his hands, elbows on knees.

„Okay, Matty, tell me what happened“

„I don’t know, I haven’t really slept in days and I feel so drained and everything‘s too much and I just wanted something to make that feeling go away, to feel some peace and smack was the only thing I was able to think of. Fuck! This is bad. I don’t want to do this again.“ you know the feeling all too well. „Fuck. I couldn’t even score myself, the guy selling knew who l am so I paid another junkie to do it. I'm so pathetic.“

„Have you consumed any?“

He shakes his head. „I didn’t. I couldn’t. I came here instead. I’m sober right now. Please believe me“

„I do, I believe you“

He‘s pressing his palms into his eyes, probably a desperate attempt to stop the tears.

„Do you still have it?“

„Jup“

„Go on, hand it over“ you extend your open hand. He can’t have it near him. It’s like the first rule of addiction recovery: remove temptation. It‘s what he did for you when he got rid of all the alcohol that you were gifted early into recovery by people who didn’t know about your addiction. It‘s what he kept doing for you over the years, being there with you, frequently checking in during family gatherings, work events and birthdays, occasions that were typically linked to alcohol consumption.

Matty reaches into his pocket and produces a small packet of tinfoil wrapped in plastic and hands it over without question.

„That all?“

He nods

„Right, ok. I‘m going to dispose of this in the kitchen, do you want some tea?“

„Yes please“ he chokes out.

You go into your kitchen, put the kettle on and get the opioid disposal process started. How to get rid of heroin is one of the many things you had no idea of before your friendship with Matty, but now you know exactly what to do: you get out a glass from the cubboard, fill it halfway with water and dump the contents of the little packet into it. You go to your fridge and see if you still have any lemon juice left and find some that you forgot you had which also smells rank. Doesn’t matter, it will do. You add the juice to make the opioids dissolve in water like you learned in a fucked up chemistry lesson you would only get from a sober heroin addict and stir. Then you get a ziplock bag and go to the hallway cubboard where you store cat litter for exactly this occasion. You fill a good amount of the cat litter into the ziplock bag and return to the kitchen, take the heroin-lemon-water and dump it into the cat litter. It produces an absolutely disgusting looking brown mass, rendering the opiates completely unsalvageable. You zip up the bag and throw it in the trash.

When you come back to the living room from the kitchen, two mugs of tea in hand, you find Matty laying down on your couch, blanket over his legs. You put the mugs down on the coffee table and sit down on the floor in front of the couch. You reach your hand to his face and stroke his cheek with your thumb. He sighs and absolutely heartbreaking sigh.

„I know“, you whisper. And you do. You know how hard it can be to be a recovering addict, being on the brink of relapse.

Matty seems to calm down a bit. He's stopped crying and you just sit with him and the emotions in silence.

„Thank you“ he whispers after some time.

„Always“ you reply softly.

„Can I stay?“

„You know you can“, you smile.

He audibly exhales and timidly asks „can you please not tell George?“ oh yes, the accountability system. No keeping secrets, owning up to your mistakes, making sure you don’t isolate, etcetera, etcetera. It‘s not an official program, more like a thing you both came up with on your own.

„You know I have to tell him, it‘s part of the deal, remember?“

„I know, but I want to tell him myself.“

„Okay. But I‘m gonna make sure you do!“

„Tomorrow?“ he sounds so drained and exhausted.

„Tomorrow“, you agree. You don’t think you‘d have it in you to ask anything of him that he doesn’t want to do. You’re soft like that for him.

You sit in silence for a few minutes, admiring his face. His annoyingly handsome, lovely face and his slender but strong body. You long for him. And you long for him to get better. If only you could crack open his ribcage and personally fix everything that gives him grief, you would do it.

„I‘m so sorry“ he whispers again.

„I know. Trust me, I know“

„I feel like this right here is the only place where I can exist without judgement“, he admits and it makes you proud that you managed to create such a safe space for him and at the same time it breaks your heart knowing that the world is full of people watching and judging him. But truly, you feel like you‘re only returning the favour. He‘s been there for you through the worst parts of your life, always turning up for you when it mattered. A part of you fears you might no longer be here had it not been for him.

„Maybe here with you is even the only place I might get better… being with you makes me feel less helpless“

„Next time just come over without stopping at the dealer‘s before, yeah?“ you joke but on the inside your heart is burning. You want him and you want him to want you.

Matty smiles and you can feel him relaxing even more. Your hand is still tangled in his hair, thumb still stroking over his cheek. He closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. He‘s exhausted and his body is begging for sleep. „It‘s okay, you can sleep, I‘ll stay here“ you say softly and you‘re not sure if he heard you because all his muscles are relaxing and he‘s lightly snoring, seemingly fast asleep.

You just sit here and watch him. You think about that one time he told you he didn’t feel worthy of any love or affection coming his way which makes you acutely aware of all the love you hold for him, that you don’t know where to put, that has nowhere to go. You wish you could tell him. Tell him that you‘ve never loved anyone like you love him. That you feel like you‘re missing an integral part of yourself when he‘s not there with you. That you love every part of him, even the ones he himself hates, that his vulnerability only makes you respect him more.

It is there and then, sitting on your living room floor in front of your couch with a sleeping Matty on it, that you decide you‘re gonna tell him. Tomorrow. You lay your head down on the couch, telling yourself you‘re only going to rest your eyes a bit before you fall asleep as well.

Little do you know that when Matty wakes up from a weird dream in the middle of the night and finds you asleep in what must be an uncomfortable position on the floor next to him, he decides that in the morning he is going to get over himself, be brave for once and just tell you that he loves you.

#matty fic #matty healy #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fanfic #the1975fanfic #matty healy x reader #this is horrible but whatever

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floras-imagination · 16 days

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Robbers, forever?🖤 - MASTERLIST

summary: Y/n and Matty break each other's hearts multiple times over the years, yet they find themselves unable to stay away from each other... note: This story is inspired by some of my fondest memories shared with an ex, and each chapter is accompanied by poems I've written about that relationship. I've posted them on my poetry blog, so just click on the links you'll find in the chapters:) It's still just a little inspiration, and I've made some changes to better align the story with Matty's character. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do 💘 warning: some chapters may include smut; y/n struggles with a restrictive ed in the first few chapters

Chapter 1

#matty healy x reader #matty healy fic #matty healy #matty healy x y/n #matty x reader #matty fic #matty the 1975 #fanfiction #fanfic #imagine #matty healy fanfiction #the 1975 fanfic #the 1975 fic #the 1975 #robbers forever fanfiction #masterlist matty healy

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selftitledshit · 4 months

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♫ 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚 ♫

Bestfriend!Matty Healy x Reader

❥ A/N: This is my first ever post!!! I really hope u guys like it, don't mind my awful grammar and my lack of knowledge on smoking weed🤞😖

❥ Synopsis: After a successful gig, Matty takes pleasure in your hospitality, settling in your apartment for the night. After a few passes of a spliff you somehow acquired, secrets between you and Matty begin to surface. A hazy night in between gigs alters your relationship with Matty eternally.

❥ Warnings: friends to lovers trope, smoking, flirting, cuddling, kissing, suggestive touching

❥ Vision Board: https://pin.it/66jslcN

❥ Word Count: 2.2k

"Ahh…that was crazy, did you see their faces?!" Matty reminisces on the reactions of the crowd during the band’s gig, relieved to see you enjoyed it too. You both continue walking together, your steps in sync, until you finally reach your apartment. “Thanks for letting me stay the night,” Matty smiles down at you appreciatively. You grin up at him, glad to finally spend some time with him in the middle of tour.

You practically rush inside, an idea popping into your head. You place your bag on the coffee table, taking off your shoes as you tumble over to a basket that lies hidden in the corner of your living room. "What's that all about?" Matty chuckles curiously as he locks the door behind him, kicking off his shoes. He watches as you fumble around in the basket, wondering what could be so interesting inside. You grin up at him, slowly pulling a spliff out of the basket and waving it up at him. Smoking weed was a habit of yours that not very many people knew of, not even Matty.

“Ahh," Matty says, a surprised look crossing his face. "You smoke weed?" He chuckles softly, shaking his head. "I guess there's always something new to learn about you." You smile at him, pulling out a lighter from the basket as well. You plop yourself onto the couch, lighting the spliff.

“Ya' like some company?" Matty asks, walking over to the couch and sitting down beside you. He leans back, watching you with curious eyes as you light up. You laugh as you breathe out a cloud of smoke, offering him the spliff, your eyebrow flicking up. Matty takes the spliff from you, placing it between his lips. He inhales deeply, holding the smoke in for a moment before exhaling slowly. His eyes close as he savors the taste of the smoke. You place your legs up on the couch, hugging your knees as you admire the sight before you.

Matty glances at you, his heart racing as he takes another hit from the spliff. He hands it back to you, his body tingling with an odd mix of pleasure and anxiety. The smell of cannabis fills the air between you two, making the already intimate situation even more so. You take another hit, humming as you exhale,

"You're so perfect at doing literally anything...it's not fair." You pout, leaning closer to Matty. Matty can't hide his pleasure as he feels your body move closer. His gaze lingers on your lips, his heart racing in his chest.

"I could say the same about you," Matty replies softly, his voice barely above a whisper. You place the spliff in his mouth, lightly kissing his cheek as you do so.

"What a charmer," you mumble into his ear, already feeling the effects of the weed. Matty moans softly as you place the spliff in his mouth, his body shuddering from the kiss.

"You have no idea..." He whispers back, his voice thick with desire. "You make me so weak..." Your eyes widen in fascination at his words, reaching out and tracing his face with your finger. Matty leans into your touch, his breathing growing heavier as your finger trails across his face. His heart races as you continue to stare at him, your gaze connected for what seems like an eternity. He cannot believe how much he wants you right now.

"Have I ever told you that you're really pretty?" You slur, smiling up at Matty. Your hazy mind bringing forward old thoughts of how you used to fancy Matty, the feeling never really leaving in the first place. Your eyes trail along his face, taking in his chocolate brown eyes, ones that always stare sweetly into yours, his matching chocolate curls, perfectly spilling onto his face. Your eyes slowly trail down to his lips, pursed and open just enough to see his ivories.

“N-no," Matty stutters, his cheeks flushing red with embarrassment. "You haven't." He looks into your eyes, his heart pounding in his chest. This is it, he thinks. The moment he's been waiting for.

"Well, you are." You grin cheekily at Matty, taking the spliff from his hand and inhaling its smoke deeply.

“I.." Matty trails off, his mind reeling from your words and the effects of the weed. He can't believe you just admitted you find him attractive. It's enough to make his knees weak.

"What?" You giggle, blowing smoke out of your nose as you look at him, mockingly puzzled. Matty chuckles nervously at your question.

"Nothing," he says, shaking his head slightly. His heart races as he watches you blow smoke out of your nose; it's both sexy and slightly amusing to him. You shuffle closer, placing the spliff between Matty's lips,

"Go on," you coax him, "I wanna try something." grinning at him, hoping he'll comply. Taking a deep breath, Matty closes his eyes and inhales the smoke from the spliff. As he does so, he feels an unexpected surge of desire. His heart beats harder in his chest, and he opens his eyes to meet yours again.

You cup Matty's face with your hands, softly pressing your lips against his as you inhale the smoke out of his mouth and into yours, shotgunning the toke. Matty lets out a soft moan against your lips, the feeling of the smoke leaving his lungs and entering yours sends a wave of pleasure through his body. He drops the joint into a tray on the coffee table, his hands finding their way to your hips, holding onto you as if you were the only thing keeping him grounded. You pull away, exhaling the smoke.

"That was hot," You chuckle nonchalantly, smiling at Matty like everything was normal, but it wasn't. Matty exhales slowly, the lingering taste of marijuana still in his mouth. His mind is reeling with overwhelming desire, but he tries his hardest to keep his emotions in check.

"Yeah, it was," he manages to say, trying to sound casual. Your eyes trail down to your hips, feeling a slight warmth enveloping them, Matty's hands still resting there. You look back up at Matty, giving him a teasing stare. Matty's heart skips a beat as he meets your gaze. The look in your eyes sends shivers down his spine and ignites a fire within him. He swallows hard, his fingers tightening slightly on your hips. "What're you thinking about?" he asks softly. You smile softly at his gesture, scooting closer on the couch.

"You." You flash your eyes at him, sincerity in your stare. Matty feels his cheeks heat up at your teasing confession. His heart races even faster now, his breathing shallow. He looks into your eyes, searching for any sign of what he thinks might be there-an attraction, a desire.

"Y-you know," Your brow flickers up at Matty, waiting for him to continue. “You're really beautiful," he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper. "I've wanted to tell you that for so long." You blush and look away, but Matty is still caught in your gaze. He leans closer, your bodies brushing against each other. His heart is pounding in his chest as he wonders how you'll react to his next words. "Have you ever thought about us?" Your gaze quickly flickers back to his, your eyes searching his face, trying to read him.

"Maybe.." You cheekily grin, resting your head in your palm.

"Maybe?" Matty repeats, smiling softly. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm the butterflies in his stomach. "I think about us all the time," he confesses, his voice barely above a whisper. "I've wanted this for so long." His eyes search yours, desperately waiting for a response.

"Really?" You mumble in shock, your face flushing with hope as you admire Matty.

"Really," Matty confirms, his heart racing. "I know we've been friends for a really long time, b-but I can't help how I feel." He looks up at you, truly admiring you for the first time. The way you look back at him, the spark in your eyes... You hesitate, unsure of how to express your feelings. Matty's heart beats faster as he awaits your answer. He bites his lip nervously, wondering if you feel the same way he does. "Did you ever have any idea?" he asks softly, his eyes pleading for the truth. You attempt to hold back a grin, your mind flickering back to all of the times Matty got a little too close, and acted a little more than friendly.

"Kind of," you smile to yourself. Matty's breath catches in his throat as he hears your response. His heart swells with hope.

"Really?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. He leans forward slightly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of deception or doubt.

"Well I mean, you made it kinda obvious." You giggle, your eyelashes fluttering tauntingly. Matty's face turns a shade of red, a mix of embarrassment and flattery. He chuckles nervously, running a hand through his hair.

"I guess I did, huh?" He takes a deep breath, his gaze never leaving yours. "So..." Your ears perk up, listening intently for Matty's next words. Matty's heart beats faster as he leans closer to you. He takes another deep breath, his gaze locked onto yours. "Do you think... maybe we should try something?" he whispers, his voice low and intense.

"I think I'd like that," You grin at Matty, laying your legs across his.

“Actually?" Matty asks, his eyes wide with disbelief. "I've always dreamed about this moment." He smiles shyly, leaning closer to you. His heart races as he waits for your next move. You chuckle lightly at his comment,

"You're such a dork," you tease before pressing your lips to his, running your hands through his curls. Matty's eyes widen, responding eagerly, his hands sliding up your back. As the kiss deepens, he groans softly into your mouth. You swipe your tongue along his bottom lip, tightening your grip on his hair. Matty moans softly against your lips, his body trembling slightly. His free hand moves to rest on your leg, slowly trailing upward. He breaks the kiss for a moment to catch his breath, his eyes still locked onto yours, "God, I've wanted this for so long,"

"Me too..." You admit, your hot breath huffing against Matty's swollen lips. A hazy, satisfied smile begins to spread across Matty's face as he leans in to resume the heated kiss. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you onto his lap.

"I don't want to wait anymore," he whispers, reaching down to slide his hands up your shirt. "Shit," you mumble, shivering under his touch.

"Is that a good shit?" Matty chuckles breathlessly, his eyes shining with excitement. He leans in, kissing you softly on the neck as he slides his hand under the waistband of your pants, his fingers tracing the shape of your hipbone. You grin at his frequently used phrase, nodding lightly as your hands slide down his shoulders. "I love how soft you are," Matty whispers, his breath tickling your ear. He moves one hand to rest on your stomach, the other still tracing slow circles on your hip. "I want this to last forever."

"Me too," you smile softly, wrapping your arms around his neck as you rest your head on his shoulder.

"Can I ask you something?" Matty says, his breath warm against your skin. "Is it okay if... if we just take things slow and see what happens?" He hesitates, unsure if he's reading the situation correctly. “I could just stay like this forever.”

"I'd like that," You smile against his skin, relishing in his company. Matty smiles slowly, leaning back to look at your face, his eyes locked on yours.

"Good," he says softly, leaning in to kiss you again. This time, his lips are gentle and exploratory, as if he's tasting you for the first time. You cradle Matty's face in your hands, your thumbs brushing along his cheekbones. Matty moans softly into the kiss, his fingers digging slightly into your sides. He deepens the kiss, pushing his tongue against your lips, eager to taste more of you. His free hand slides up your back, gently massaging the skin between your shoulder blades. You relish in the warmth of Matty before pulling back, catching your breath as you say,

"We should probably get to sleep since you've got another show tomorrow." You turn to check your phone, the time reading 1:02 am. Matty pants softly, his eyes closed and his chest heaving as he catches his breath.

"You're right," he agrees, his hand moving to slip under your shirt again. "But can we... can we sleep like this?" You grin down at him, pinching his cheek as you giggle,

"Of course we can." You retreat off his lap, quickly shuffling over to a small basket near the TV, and grabbing a couple of pillows and a blanket.

“Perfect," Matty breathes out, eyeing your form as you gather the pillows and blanket. He scoots back, making enough space for you to crawl onto the couch with him. As soon as you're settled, he wraps his arms around you, spooning you from behind.

"G'night," you mumble, smiling to yourself at the turn of events tonight.

"Night, beautiful." Matty murmurs against your hair, already starting to fall asleep. His chest rises and falls slowly with each breath, his arm tightening around you as he drifts off to sleep. Shortly, the comforting atmosphere slowly lulls you to sleep, the sound of Matty's soft breathing being the last thing you hear before you doze off.

thanks for reading! ❤︎︎ part two...?

#matty healy fanfiction #matty the 1975 #the 1975 #matty healy x reader #the 1975 fanfic #matty healy #matty x reader #matty fic #matty healy imagine #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #matty healy x you #matty healy the 1975 #matty healy oneshot

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noacfapologyst · 21 days

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birthday surprise — matty healy

(the birthday party: day two)

summary: even surrounded by people he loves and people he doesn't know at his birthday party, matty feels alone. by chance or by consequence, he finds a piece of his past that it stirs absolutely everything in the depths of his soul.

warnings: mention of alcohol, approach to loneliness, flashbacks of the past. cry on your birthday (guilty). open ending (maybe?)

wordcounter: 4,8k

Birthdays are one of the things Matty has enjoyed most since he was a kid. It's not just the fact of seeing all the people he wants in one place or the gifts he receives, although obviously that's also a plus for the basis, but the most important reason boils down to another: Matty has learned to celebrate being alive, to have a day, or a year more to live.

Maybe for the same reason, one of the environments Matty is best known for could be at parties. He always gathers endless crowds inside the walls of his house, always ends up being crazy between the amount of mess he has to clean up afterwards and the mess he has to take care of while they dance drunk on the tables and sing without being able to stop.

He has never considered himself a person of few friends, but he doesn't think he has a huge amount either because he's had to leave a lot of people behind. He has the necessary ones to be good with himself and with them, his presence does not suffocate them and they know how to understand him even when he cannot control himself and impulsivity controls him. But he's calm, he always is.

Of course, he now finds himself in a situation where many people entering his house are unknown to him because they are companions of his friends, or acquaintances of them. And God, Charli gathered a crowd in here. He recognizes them because he believes he went to high school with one or two, the few years he attended before deciding to miss an exam to go to a music festival.

Entities mix because he fails to recognize among low-profile, famous or just known people who have found out. In a way, it feels a bit like a party I'd throw if I was 18 and walked out of a Santbury's with several bottles in my hand and on my head. But it is not, because he is 35 and is in the middle of going through his thirties crisis.

Although now he deduces that none of it matters to him. He's much better than fine. He has gone from having the weight of a feather to getting stronger and seeing its fruits after many months without stopping at the gym. It has healed in all senses: broken heart, mental frailty, bad habits and addictions. Or at least in most of them, because he still smokes and still drinks alcohol, but at least now he equates it with something else and knows he can control it better. It's not entirely perfect, it could never be because that's metaphorically what the human being represents: a canvas that looks beautiful, beautiful and honest until you see the poorly made brushstrokes, over and over again until a result bulges.

"Hey, come to the kitchen." George awakens him from his thought with a touch. Matty leaves the beer can half-open on a shelf in the living hallway.

Then they arrive in the kitchen amidst a tumult of people that opens up in their path. The open backyard door is a plus because it's a good place to get some cold air and realize that he's lost a lot of stability and composure after several beers and a few more shots.

Ross is leaning on the recently acquired white marble countertop, as he opens a bottle of Don Perignon and the foam splashes over the top of the bottle. With quick movements, he pulls seven glasses from the shelf, and fills them to distribute later.

"Let's toast in honor of Matty, because it's his birthday and we love him. And we are incredibly proud of him." Ross cheers, while everyone raises their glasses. Charli applauds with the palms of his hands, and everyone knows that he has lost his mind. Matty smiles as much for that last act as for what his friend has just said, it's really an honest smile and full of feeling though he may not be able to prove it now.

Everyone toast, and then Carly pulls out of her purse a digital camera to capture the moment in eternity. They take a selfie together: George, Matty, Ross, Adam, Carly, Charli, and Chloe. Then there are some spontaneous ones between the four guys, the girls and one of each of them with Matty.

"Oh, my boys. I love all of you so much. You are the best on my life, really." It's finally Matty drinking the champagne out of his glass. Feel the golden bubbling liquid falling down your throat. "Thanks for everything you've done for me throught this years, forever."

When the conversation becomes that emotional tone that always happens on birthdays, it is also the moment when the bubble of intimacy breaks and everyone leaves that state.

"Hey I'm sorry, but there's not more ice." A woman's voice sounds from the frame of the kitchen, but Matty can't recognize her even when he looks at her with a frown.

"Oh! Now I'll bring more, thank you darling." Matty answers almost automatically as if he had given up control of his head. Actually the words are leaking out of her mouth but it's nothing too worrying yet, and she hopes it stays that way. "Some of you know who is?" He receives negative responses after the restlessness and sighs sillylyly laughing. "Thanks for all, friends."

A song by the Backstreets Boys begins to ring through the speaker in the living room and resonates between all the divisions of the house. Taking advantage of the commotion and celebration about it all he leaves the kitchen and disperses. Matty searches for a bag of ice from the fridge, breaks the wrapper with scissors and takes it to the main table where he places it in the fountain designed to keep the cold.

When he crosses the center of the dance floor, many people greet him and flatter him, giving him little shouts of love or complete sobriety, and more than one even asks him to dance for a few moments.

For a moment he manages to put away the idea of how he is the only one in his group of friends who has no one, which becomes more raw when he sees too many couples kissing on his couch, also generates a bit of disgust but he doesn't want to feel like a snob. He did the same thing and doesn't know when he stopped doing it but he understands the adrenaline generated by kissing someone when you're drunk and hot in public spaces, even if it's a pretty adolescebte attitude.

He takes his beer from where he left off and goes on. They have all built long-lasting relationships or are in the process, which makes sense for the age that passes.

He's okay with that, too. Yeah, logically, he´d like to have someone to dance together right now and then sneak out to enjoy a moment alone. Intertwining his hands with someone and having someone fixed to wake up with every morning while the smell of coffee runs through the room. He wants it the same way people who don't have it do, but he thinks he needs a break now.

Her last love attempts have gone overboard, and further down. They have simply come out disastrously and reject the idea that he wants to have for love: it all ends in silly discussions about mundane and monotonous everyday things that make up a ball that explodes, then everything weakens and the routine too tiresome. He wanted to live in the madness with which he used to live love in his 20s, where there was no fear of the future and only the expectation of living in the present.

Remember that frenzy of love when he was a teenager, when it is the purest love you contemplate inside you, when the barrier of who is going to judge you and the responsibilities are inhibited and you just go drunk with love walking down the streets arriving at the door with different flowers every day. He wants to love and get it right this time, obviously, but he doesn't want the person he leaves his legacy with abruptly taking away the magic of love Matty once had.

By the same token, he takes care of letting it flow. He's not waiting for anyone and he's hoping that things will just get better. She doesn't know if her future is to love someone and make it work, but she doesn't give up hope.

"I'm going to smoke, just in case." He says, when he sees Carly near him. He knows she's the one he can trust most because she's the most sober and the least alcoholic.

"Stay safe, Matty. Hope I won't have to look for you." She approaches him and kisses him on the cheek in an act of love, something like a motherly love. Even though she's only a little older than him, since she's with Adam she considers Matty to be completely special to her, and she loves him as much as she literally loves her children.

He says goodbye to her and walks to find the back door sneaking around. He looks the place and he see that there are really not so many people huddled together in the same place as they are scattered. The courtyard is huge, after the cement floor the grass extends along perhaps half a kilometer, where in the middle there is a swimming pool, and in the width there are some palm trees that accompany it. In the background there is a gate that leads to a construction connected to the house, but for which Matty is not responsible.

He looks for a place under the palm tree, the breeze that the leaves cause as they move embraces him at dawn. It's funny to him, he sneaks away just like he did all his life at these kinds of events, punctually on his birthday. He loves people and loves being with them, but at some point he needs to isolate himself from that same environment and have air to himself.

He fiddles with the lighter between his fingers passing it from hand to hand until he decides to pull a mentholed cigarette out of the pocket of his black leather bomber.

"Matty?" A whisper of the wind reaches his ears, although he does not know where it comes from, he acknowledges that there are not so many people who call themselves that.

He hears footsteps on freshly cut grass and hears crackling under his shoes. The only light out there comes from a curtain of lights hooked to the grill, so it's pretty dark.

But then a female presence appears in front of him. He really does nothing but admire her and for once his eyes run out of the cylinder he is about to light.

The two look into each other's eyes, Matty feels his whole life is passing before his eyes and is afraid he's having a concussion, or he's having a stroke. It doesn't make sense for her to be here in front of him after all these years.

"y/n?" He dares to ask. He doesn't have anyone around to confirm his presence there so he hopes he's not too drunk to hallucinate and hopes he's really on the physical plane. "I'm sorry, it's just…wow." Her tongue catches the words as her head runs a thousand miles after seeing her nod to get out of her trance.

"Isn't it?" With every word the past moves down the earth for both him and her. Too many, too many layers of memories that were left behind many years ago now threaten to float as if they could seep through the holes in the green ground.

There is a prolonged silence for a few seconds. Actually, nobody knows what to say because everything seems like a fantasy about to be pricked with a pin and nobody wants to go beyond that.

Matty's looking at her. She has always had that carefree but wrinkled profile and he recognizes her under the black dress sleeveless dress glued to her body and the hair cut on her shoulder, with the last minute scissors marks and something uneven. She complements it with high-cane boots, something like the ones she defined as her favorites too long ago. She still has that sparkle she had when she was a teenager, she's still incredibly beautiful without asking. He looks at her surprised that she's here, grateful to see her once more. He can't stop thinking about it, but she's really radiant.

She looks at him. He has changed a lot from the superficial, his hair is now almost shaved, only with hints of hair growing on his entrances. She doen't need to inquire to know that his fitness owes it to the gym, even under his jacket she can see how well marked are his muscles compared to the little skinny teenager she met a long time ago. The expression on his face did not change, if he looks into his eyes he still finds the frightened child because he does not know if things will turn out well, but also the child waiting for his mother after school to give her a hug. She has a white T-shirt that's stuck to her body and her tattoos are transparent. She looks at him impressed.

"Hey." He breaks the silence by speaking softly but with total softness. She smiles at him without showing her teeth and Matty feels something rising up her body. "What are you doing here?"

He is lying against a palm tree, she is standing nearby but neither wants to move into the position of the other, there is some barrier that prevents it and possibly it is discomfort.

"I'm the babysitter of my sister and her friends, they are your brother's friends." She anwers by returning the tone of calm. "In fact, I found out today."

"Wait, really?" He answers, and for a moment the atmosphere seems to disappear only because he is seeing everything through it. "But Louis is not there." He shrubs his shoulders.

"Yes, I noticed that. I guess he told the others in some nonsense conversation." She analyzes how he hasn't lit a cigarette since he arrived. "Are you going to turn it on or?"

Matty feels like a fool. "Do you continue smoking?" Ask without a second thought. He just wants to know what's in her life now. "Sorry, what about my maners, do you want one?

"No, but I'll share one just for the old times." She smiles at him again, and he mentally keeps the memory of how the burgundy color highlights the cheekbones of the white skin of the woman in front of him.

"Do you want to sit?"

"I'm alloweed to?" Matty is restless under such a formal tone and considers that the passage of the years now takes its points.

"Of course." Now he's the one smiling at her. "Are you still in the same job?

She laughs slowly, refuses with her head a bit apart. "God, no. I work in a notary's office now, but I'm more comfortable." She answers, he opens his lips in surprise, a whistle escapes from her lips. "May I suggest why are you here and not inside dancing with the others?" She asks with some shyness as she approaches to sit down, without doing so facing or beside him, as at an angle of seventy-five.

"Maybe you know the answer. It hasn't changed." He answerd and when he feels that he is drowning in too much of the past, he lights the cigarette. He pauses and takes a drag.

"You still get loneliness sometimes." She reasons, he nods with a look of pity and gave her the cigarette. "I really didntt know this was your house."

"It's quite different from the old porch, it doesn't have a loft with a balcony or red tiles either, but i like it." He sighs embracing the melancholy that escapes from his bone structure. "How did you get here?

"My friend was dizzy from so many people and then I lost her because of a child." She laughs wryly. "I started walking and then I reached the palm tree, and maybe I understood the host of the party."

"¿Yes?"

"How many people do you know whose birthday is April 8th, Matty?" She stares at him with direct intent. He flies in the nebula. She remembers her birthday.

"You still remember it." He has a smile that runs through his face from end to end, he feels satisfied with the interaction, whatever it takes. She leaves the cigar in her hand and the touch makes him shake.

Matty's head is about to fall apart. He himself sees how his vision becomes twofold, one leaving him in reality under the palm tree, and the other teleporting him 22 years ago to a rather similar place.

It's autumn, the leaves of the trees turn yellow and fall to the ground. There's a breeze but it's not cool or threatening, it's friendly. Matty's eighteen now, he's of age.

On the other side of the race to see who gets to the pile of leaves first, there's her. She's dressed as simple as if she'd just gotten up, the blue skinny jeans and a black shirt with a print of some band scratched by the number of times she's washed. They're both older, but running down the alleys of New Castle looks like they're 12 still.

The muddy shoes, their coats that shelter them both, her bracelet tied to his hand, the kiss on the cheek when greeting each other, the butterflies every time they look at each other. The celebration of walking, the adrenaline of winning the race to the leaves and rolling in them.

Matty abandons everything else, leaving behind the nightmares, his parents' parties and sleepless nights when he has her. He's happy with her, he feels protected and nothing can hurt him. He loves her, with all his heart. He's eighteen, newly grown, wears glasses that slip on the tip of his nose but make him look smart. It has some protruding pimples between the cheek and forehead, but in sunlight it still looks like a baby's skin, fragile to the touch.

He doesn't know when he fell so in love with her, he doesn't know when he found the connection and when it began to appear in his innermost dreams. He couldn't stop thinking about her and all her dreams, the dress she wore on her birthday, the hug after the holidays. Every touch gives Matty years to live, and although he's been a sad kid for most of his life, he'll always be grateful that she changed that.

"You are eighteen, you can run fast." She says in a competitive tone, without slowing down.

"I will win, idiot." He's self-proclaimed.

"And if you do, what will you get? A painful coronation as king of the leaves." She jokes and throws herself headfirst on the leaves of the ground. "I told you."

But Matty was willing to win.

"I already decided my prize." Vitorea approaching the leaves, diving into them.

"You didn't wi-"

Matty doesn't think about what's going on, he just lets the impulse take him further and control him. It may be his only chance, and it may ruin it, but he have to try before he let any more time pass.

She is in shock on the leaves when she feels the lips of Matty on top of hers. She doesn't understand what's happening, or if it's really happening. The only thing she remembers afterwards is feeling Matty's hand squeezing her cheek with soft caresses. He kisses as much as he can, and after a while she gets used to the movement.

They go on like this, without saying a word for many minutes. Their sequence and their need is to kiss until the lack of breath wakes them up, smile with their noses stuck and merge again. Maty tastes like mint and chocolate, so it's the flavor she'll love the most for the next two years. Teenagers at the height of their purest love.

"Didn't I tell you? I would win." Matty comments when both feel they have shared too much saliva, but he does not take his hand off her cheek.

The wind is blowing in both heads. They have never known love this way, and they will remember it so well for the years that this love lasts, and for a few more.

Actually, and though Matty doesn't know it yet, she, sitting in Matty's house, is thinking about the same fall of memories. She feels like she's about to die and the best years and moments of her life go by, they've always had that facility of telepathic connection without having to try. Also because, for a long time, it was the memory they most enjoyed in years.

Matty then sees, in his memories, everything he's longed for for so many years. Midnight getaways, intense kissing at nightclubs, family meals, she dressed in him on Sundays, family trips, snow wars with her kisses sunk in the snow. He sees fireworks now that he remembers her, how he was first in everything for her and how she has marked him even more than he can say.

After that comes the band, and even before and after the previous names. But he focuses on when the band is already confirmed as Drive Like i Do and then like 1975, he sees her sitting at the table listening to them rehearsing, he sees heer at the clubs drinking beer and screaming crazy when he comes out in his most misaligned ensemble.

Matty may never have said it like that, but the girl he fell in love with is part of the band just like them. Almost the entire first album has its muse, in each of the stanzas and in each of the notes of the compass. She has followed him for all these years, it has been his greatest point of inspiration and of genuine and re-created love. She has given him the best years when he was twenty, he has written the songs he enjoys most thanks to her.

But equally, to say that he hasn't forgotten her or that he's remembered her like that for fifteen years without seeing her since she left in her twenties, would be lying. He remembered her for years, but then he was no longer present in her mind.

She can't judge him. Maybe she waited longer, but she had to move on anyway.

But it's okay, they existed at the time they had what. They learned enough from each other to remember each other fondly.

"You think about that autumn too, didn't? "During all this trance, the connection has become stronger. The discomfort is ignored, and she ends up sitting next to him.

"You are inside my mind, literally." He laughs with his eyes full of glass. He just had a recession that knocked him down. "Yes, I thought about it."

"That autumn was the best of my life. The fucking golden time." She confesses, with the moon now fully reflecting her. He looks at her with a longing smile, he also misses feeling so complete. "I have loved you for so many years and I think I could do it for more."

She complains hugging herself. Matty leaves the previous state and now the alcohol seems to have lost its effect. He extends his hand to put it behind the brunette girl's back and draw her in. The woman's head rests on his chest.

"I have loved you too, you know? The first album is about you." He kisses her hair, but she can't help but cry. They are breaking up with each other next to them and that's why they prefer not to be seen. It's too strong for both. "I'm sorry."

"What do you mean?" She looks up. The brown eyes meet the eyes of the british man.

"I-I screwed up that June afternoon, and I carried the blame for many years. I've never really been able to apologize, and I know the last thing you got from me was a horrible argument. I'm sorry, it won't fix something so many years later, but it's sincere." He manages to loosen a gear that has been weighing on him for a long time. He finds serenity in the brightness of the moon, and though he knows he can't go back in time, when she intertwines his hands he thinks he hasn't gone too far.

"Thank you for that. I know it's your party, but you don't have to cry to the end." She kisses his cheek and wipes his tears with her fingernails painted dark red, then returns to his neck. She repents and prefers to sit in front of him. "But it was true, wasn't it? Did you fuck everybody in this town?" She asks, without any resentment or sense of judgment.

"You compromised me, honey." He nods nervously accompanied by a laugh. In fact, he's still crying, but he's feeling much better. More airy, more connected and more peaceful. "I missed the car and the argument."

The two laugh at each other, it's an atmosphere that has now become more comfortable than ever. She has got her makeup destroyed by tears and he is s getting water marks through the seams of his shirt.

"The end of that hallway was fateful." She ironizes it with a recharged energy that dances inside. It feels as if she is now the final part of a song that breaks the melody and raises the instruments to a higher level to close it in the greatest ecstasy. "Even so, maybe you were right a few years ago. You needed more than me." She points to itself and then points to the atmosphere.

"Sorry, I don't get it." He feels bewitched by her words, but is so deep inside that he can't even think about what she's saying.

He just knows she comes, again. He sees her crawling and crawling up to his lap. He's afraid that this will still be a bad trick in his head and that tomorrow she'll never have been here. She'll be in another country, with someone else, and without him. His heart pumps like it has seldom done.

He knows they're soul mates, or he used to know, and now he's reconfirming it. Now there's only one thing that separates them and one thing that could bring them together.

"You needed a cigarette, alcohol and a sad conversation." She finally answers, as she settles down to her mercy on his lap. Matty feels like he has a fever when he feels the back of her palm on his face. It's been floating for over 15 minutes. "As i do."

After this, it just happens.

After 15 years, they're kissing in Matty's backyard. The two cry in between, because they haven't recovered from the emotional delirium they just had, but the fireworks they once had at eighteen come back the second their lips touch.

He hasn't changed, Matty still smells like chocolate and mint. She neither, she tastes the same as always does, she still tastes well enough to satiate Matty. They remain exactly the same for each other and what they still need.

The kiss does not have a taste to be described by or a unique feeling. It is the taste of remembrance and reunion, of melancholy, of adolescence, it is pure nostalgia in its splendor. It tastes like sadness, the tears of the last time they argued, and in turn it tastes as the ice cream they ate holding hands in the park, the chocolate they always gave each other as a gift. It tastes as Christmas food and the summer breeze. It's all together in one, and that's why they don't bother to feel sorry for how the waterfalls in the eyes accumulate coming down later.

A kiss, that's all. Matty doesn't want to think, but he inevitably does and finds only two options.

Tomorrow you will both remember this and you will both retire by lowering your guard and remember it as a secret. There is no one around to prove the presence and existence of the woman he has there, no one has seen her and the easiest excuse is to say that he simply confused everything with someone else because of the amount of beer. Or they could tempt fate and stay there, they could heal the wound and they could try again to have the best they ever had.

But now, does it matter?

"Hey." She puts pressure on his hair. He opens his eyes feeling fuller and more human than ever. "Happy birthday, Matty. The birthday boy always needs a gift."

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