#I could have tried harder with gus but i liked it too much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

haystarlight · 1 year

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Disabilities and Disclosure

@lollytea made a post about this idea and I went with it.

I don't have dyslexia. If you or someone you know has it, I'd appreciate your input!

@avatarmerida @fairytales-and-folklore

______________________________________________

"Disabilities and Disclosure"

"I'm gonna have to borrow that book when you're done with it!"

Willow wasn't really thinking when she made that promise. She'd been too caught up in Hunter's cool outfit and his sweet smile to realize what she was signing up for. She'd been so preoccupied with flirting with the cute boy she didn't bother to think she was actually going to have to read that book later.

At first, she put it off. They were busy fighting villains, rebuilding society, rebuilding their homes, starting a new semester at Hexside. Then, a few months after she and Hunter started dating, he remembered she had expressed interest in reading Cosmic Frontier.

Oh no.

"Here you go! you can keep it, I have another copy at home."

"Aww, Sunflower, this is so nice of you."

Hunter blushed, he always blushed when she called him that.

Aw fuck. The book was even bigger than she remembered.

"A little fat, ain't it?" She chuckled nervously "how did you read it all in 2 days?"

"Haha well, yeah. I don't wanna brag but you do remember I've been called a 'genius teen prodigy'," He said this in a tone that sounded like he did want to brag. "it's not that fat, tho. A regular reader like you can probably kill it in a week or two. And then you can share your thoughts with me, Gus and Camila!"

Yeah. Sure. A regular reader like her.

A week or two. Sure.

Hunter must've sensed her uncertainty because his voice immediately dropped from excitement to comfort.

"Hey, I won't get upset if you don't like it. Just so you know."

"Aw, yeah, I wasn't worried about that. But thanks."

She tried looking at the summary on the back and almost got a headache. She knew he wouldn't mind if she didn't like it... But would he be disappointed if she couldn't even finish it?

"Oh, and I hope you're cool with this... I kinda wrote stuff on the margins," he said this bashfully.

Willow opened the book on the first page. The first two pages of every book are always blank before the actual story gets started. She'd always considered that a waste of paper.

This time, however, she saw on the first blank page something written in Hunter's perfect calligraphy. He had such nice handwriting. Her writing was so messy in comparison.

Even she was able to read the three simple words written there with love and care.

'To my Captain 💛'

What had she done?

______________________________________________

The days passed by and no matter how hard she tried, the damn book was impossible to finish.

It's not that she couldn't read at all! She could read! She was 16, not 5!

But some words were harder to understand than others. Words that were really long and complicated gave her the hardest time. It didn't help that all these characters had odd names that looked impossible to pronounce and even harder to spell. She kept getting headaches whenever she stared at a page for too long.

She had always been like this, since she started school. It was one of the reasons abominations were so much harder for her than plants, abominations required a lot of reading and theory, plants were direct hands-on action. She had so many memories of staying up late with her parents trying to help her as she agonized over the homework.

And, as the days passed, she kept avoiding having to talk to Hunter. He always asked her how far into the book she was, which scene had she gotten to, who was her favorite character so far. And Gus was no better. Gus knew of Willow's reading issue but it seemed like the young boy had forgotten about it as he got caught up in the excitement as well.

One day, Willow was alone, sitting on the school steps when she suddenly couldn't take it anymore and screamed in frustration, throwing the book away from her.

Luckily, someone caught it.

"Wow! You must be really angry at this thing," Luz said, in between scared and impressed. "did your favorite character die or something? I hate it when that happens."

Willow sighed.

"No, it's just... it's so hard to read."

"Really? It says here the age rating is 13 and up," Luz pointed at the back of the book.

Willow groaned.

"Is it because you don't understand all the weird sci-fi things? I know you guys still don't know a lot about the human world. It makes sense you don't get all the space and science-y thingies," she laughed. "heck, I'm a human and even I don't get it half the time! It's super confusing, you don't have to feel bad for -"

"That's not it either, Luz."

There was a silence between the two of them. Luz felt the weight of that silence and sat down next to her. The human carefully laid a hand on her best friend's shoulder.

"Hey. You don't have to tell me but it looks like it'll make you feel better to tell someone."

"It's... I don't... it's not that I can't read or write! You've seen me do it! I know how to read and write! I'm not a baby!"

Luz simply stared at her, waiting for her to continue.

"But, even though I can do it, I find it very... difficult. There's lots of words that I can't spell because they're too long, the letters sometimes like... move around and blurr together even when I'm wearing my glasses!" She took off the golden frames as if to clarify. "and I keep getting headaches and I hate it when a sentence has too many comas and -"

"Oh, you have dyslexia!"

Willow stopped her rant to look at her friend. She put her glasses back on, confused.

"What?"

"Oh, that's what humans call it! I don't know how witches call it or if it even has a name here. I didn't know witches could have dyslexia... but I guess it makes sense cause human brains are very similar to witch brains. I wonder if-"

"Luz, what's dyslexia?"

"Oh, right, sorry," she smiled apologetically. "it's a learning disability. It's what you just described. Someone who has a hard time reading, who can't spell long words, who struggles with big books... etcetera."

Willow looked shocked, her mouth slightly opened. It has a name? Other people have it?

"I'm not a doctor so I can't really diagnose you. But, if you want, we can do some research! There's lots of info on the human realm! It's actually a really common thing so we have lots of methods to help make it easier. We can look up Cosmic Frontier audiobooks! You can just listen to it, no reading required."

Despite of herself, Willow smiled. Luz was a really good friend.

"Thank you, Luz. That sounds nice."

"And I bet Hunter will love to help! You know how he loves research!"

The smile dropped as quickly as it had come, replaced by panic.

"NO! DON'T TELL HUNTER!"

"Okay, why?"

"He just... Hunter's so smart and I'm..."

"You're smart! Just because you have a learning disability doesn't make you not smart! Mom has ADHD and she's super smart!"

"What's ADHD?"

"Oh, it's another learning disability. I think I have it too but that's a conversation for another day."

"Mmmkay," Willow shrugged and went back to the matter at hand. "Hunter's so smart and he's such a good reader and... and he's always going on and on about how talented and clever I am and he admires me so much and... I don't want him to be disappointed or to see me different."

Luz stayed silent for a moment while she contemplated what to say. She finally settled on:

"I'm not gonna tell him because I respect your privacy but I think you should tell him. Hunter loves you but he doesn't have you on a pedestal, he knows you're a person with limits and weaknesses. He's not going to be disappointed if you tell him this."

Willow didn't respond but she knew her friend was right. Oh, where would she be without Luz the human?

______________________________________________

A few days of research and information gathering with the assistance of Luz and Camila, and Willow was now ready to come clean to her boyfriend.

She sat with him on a picnic they'd set up in the forest as she laid out all the information. Hunter would occasionally ask a question but, for the most part, he just let her speak. In the end, Willow stared at him in deep dread.

"Wow, ok. Thanks for telling me this," he stopped to take a sip of apple blood before continuing. "how can I help?"

Willow stared at him, processing the words.

"You want to help?" She asked incredulously.

"You're my girlfriend and you need help, therefore, I'm willing to do what I can. Is that not how it works?"

Willow couldn't help but smile. Hunter was getting better at this relationship thing.

"Yeah, thank you. I was just... I was being paranoid."

Hunter tilted his head, offering her to go on.

"You're always... you're so smart and well-read and... you always tell me how talented and clever you think I am and you compliment me for knowing so much about flyer derby and plants and insects... I feel like I'll disappoint you if I'm actually not as smart as you think I am."

Hunter frowned. He did tend to go on about how amazing his girlfriend was, he couldn't help it! He loved her! And she had always looked so happy when he said those things, responding with a smile or a blush or a thank you or paying him a compliment in return.

He didn't realize that maybe there was a bit of a negative side to it.

"Willow, I'm not gonna be disappointed in you for having limits and weaknesses. Nobody's perfect! And that's fine! You're the one who taught me that!

The plant witch snorted. It was true, she had been the one to teach Hunter that. Why couldn't she remember her own advice?

"There it is," Hunter said, fondly.

"There what is?"

"You snort like a pig when you laugh, you kick people in your sleep, you take pictures of strangers on the street like a creeper..." He counted on his fingers. "I could keep going but the point is, I know you're not perfect. It's okay to not be perfect. I don't love you because you're flawless! I love you because you're Willow and you're impossible not to love."

He said that last part so sincerely, she had to believe him. The plant witch grabbed her boyfriend in a tight hug. He hugged her back and she felt the warmth fill her with comfort.

"I love you too, Sunflower."

They kissed. They'd already kissed so many times, it came naturally to them by now. Willow was long familiar with the taste of his lips but it still somehow brought firebees to her stomach no matter how many times she did it. It never got old, she would never get tired of it.

Every time they kissed, like clockwork, flowers came out of Willow's head. It was like her heart and her magic couldn't control themselves when she felt his kisses. This time, the flowers on her hair were white bellflowers.

"Now, back to the 'how can I help?' thing," Hunter said, after they had broken apart. "I think I have an idea you might like."

______________________________________________

Normal people would simply find a Cosmic Frontier audiobook for Willow to listen to. Or maybe they would read to her out loud. Or maybe they'd show her the movie adaptation (tho, she'd been told by Hunter, Gus and Camila that the movie was awful and did a terrible job at adapting the original source material).

Hunter wasn't a normal person, not by a long shot.

He'd decided to act out all of the memorable scenes from the book like it was a play. After telling the others, they had also been incredibly excited to help.

Everyone did something. Willow built the stage and props, Hunter made the costumes and wrote the scripts, Vee and Gus were on special effects with their shapeshifting and illusions respectively, Amity brought some abominations for extra manpower and Luz and Camila put together a playlist of songs that went perfect with every scene. Eda and King brought snacks.

When the night of the premiere finally came, Willow sat down at the Owl House's backyard with Luz, Amity, King, Eda and Raine as they watched it all unfold. Luz took out her phone and started recording because she wanted to put it on Mewtube, Amity didn't understand anything that was going on, Eda ate all the snacks and King fell asleep on Raine's lap halfway through. Perfection.

It wasn't a quality production, it was very low budget and DIY. It reminded Willow of those plays the bard witches from the drama club at Hexside often did. It was silly and weird but it was wonderful.

At the heart of it all were the actors. Vee obviously knew how to play a convincing alien monster, Gus and Camila were not professionals but they felt such passion and appreciation for their character's plight that they could bring themselves to do a pretty good performance. And Hunter was just IN IT! He was an artist lost in his art and Willow never wanted him to stop ever.

His voice cracked with emotion on the dramatic scenes, he stricked poses and smiled at the audience, he recited every line from memory, he even cried on the sad parts. It was hard not to love the book when it inspired something so incredible on all these people she loved.

When the play ended, the actors took a bow and everyone clapped. Luz was the loudest, woohoo-ing and wolf whistling. She cheered so loud, King woke up with a yelp.

Willow made flowers with her magic, throwing them at the stage enthusiastic. Gus caught one and pointed a finger gun, winking at her. Vee caught one and giggled. Camila caught one and her smile got even bigger.

She threw a whole bouquet of roses. Hunter caught it and blew her a kiss.

Yup, this was her new favorite book.

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kraviolis · 9 months

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Hi Krav, I have a question regarding your Little Lamb AU.

Does Eda know Luz is the princess? From what I interpreted she doesn't, and I really want to know what her reaction would be when she eventually finds out. Speaking of, just how will she find out? Will Luz come clean and tell her of her own accord, or will she be forced to? Will Lillith reveal Luz's identity and try to bring her back? Ooh that could result in your AUs version of YBOS' climax!

you're 100% right about luz's identity playing a part in this AU's version of the season 1 finale. i dont have the details planned out but i'll at least explain my idea of how eda finds out (i wanted to make it into a comic but uhhhhh i burnt out on drawing again whoops)

belos sorta protected luz's identity as she grew up as part of his whole "keep the lamb pure" thing so there's like, never any pictures of her anywhere. for luz's birthday every year the official emperor's coven penstagram account just posts the same pictures of her when she had her coronation ceremony and you wouldn't exactly recognize someone in person if you'd only ever seen grainy pictures of them as a five year old.

also, luz purposefully keeps it a secret for a long time. she doesn't want to be treated different just because she happens to be the princess!!! she's tired of it!!! she just wants to be a normal witch and learn magic!!! at first she tries to hide that she's human too but that's a bit harder and also, similarly to canon, no one really... gives a shit? everyone just shrugs it off except gus & boscha (and those two care abt it for VERY different reasons.)

at some point around the end of season 1, belos finds out from SOMEONE (torn between kikimora, lilith, & hunter) that luz is apparently masquerading as a student of hexside & living with the owl lady while learning wild magic from her.

belos, who had legit thought luz had just like gotten lost or kidnapped for ransom or something, obviously looses his fucking mind. outwardly, he's like "oh no the owl lady's kidnapped the princess!!" but he 100% knows what the fuck she's up to.

so he decides to just say fuck it and makes a whole ass national announcement that the princess has been kidnapped by wild witches as a form of revenge against belos & that the titan calls on all citizens to help aid him in finding her & bringing her home.

he includes an updated picture of her along with her full ass government name and broadcasts it to every phone & crystal ball across the isles.

this, obviously, fucks luz up severely because not only does everyone know who she was, she's also putting anyone close to her in direct danger bcus the emperor wants her so badly.

eda is eda over it. she doesn't fucking care. she's mostly just concerned about luz, who saw the broadcast at school and ran home in tears and didnt even pause before running up the stairs and locking herself in her room. eda doesnt treat her differently and she comforts luz by being like "eh im already public enemy #1 this doesnt make much a difference to me"

actually, i think it will be lillith who reveals to the emperor that luz is with eda... but not on purpose. i think that lilith and luz never knew each other and she just reported back to the emperor about her quest to capture eda and was just like "oh yeah she's got this human apprentice now-- she's named luz or something" and then belos would crack his neck from looking down at lilith so fast

#qna #Anonymous #toh #little lamb au

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itmeblog · 6 months

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THERE WAS LITERALLY NOTHING STOPPING ME FROM WRITING FAN FIC ABOUT MY OWN SHIT!!

FUCKING NOTHING!!!!

(Maybe because I created this world it's canon now? But that is 1001% not my concern nor my problem)

Nova was alive. The pulse that ripped between her temples and settled angrily behind her eyes informed her as much.

She groaned, reaching in vain for memories from the night before. There were flashes: a bar, a party, another bar, a man, possibly a third bar and then…nothing. The rest of the night was ash and dust. She reached out for the glass SAWA should have left on her night stand and knocked something over sending shards of pain dancing in the space between her eyes.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” She ground her face into the pillow. It smelled of something sweet, herbs the people on this planet used to keep pests away.

“Fuck.”

Please be a hotel.

She couldn’t take another morning of awkwardly running into the members of a family of someone she could only vaguely remember.

Nova gathered what pieces of herself she could manage. Her mouth was dry, her head was attempting a revolt from her neck, and spending the morning retching in whatever passed for a toilet here seemed a half-decent idea. It only got worse as she sat up.

The room was sparse, just a bed really. Her clothes were strewn across the floor, mixed with an outfit Nova didn’t recognize, all sequins and scarves. A screen sat nestled into the far wall and flickered silently through a morning report, a perky looking reporter sang the GU’s praises in the subtitles that scrolled across the bottom.

A hotel room.

Thank God.

Nova’s attention landed wearily on the woman sleeping beside her. What had happened to the guy she’d been with? Had she ditched him? Wandered off and found better company? She tried to remember but all she could recall was him pinning her to a wall, the heat of his body pressed against hers and the fleeting thought, hazed by brandy and something bitter she’d been offered to smoke, that he wasn’t enough to silence the thoughts in her head.

Maybe the woman had succeeded where he’d failed. Nova wasn’t sure. She couldn’t remember this woman at all.

That was supposed to worry her. Lulu would be concerned.

Nova shut the thought away with a viciousness that made her stomach pitch.

As it turned out, there was a proper restroom, though a prerequisite for puking was actually having eaten something in the first place, so it was really more about form than efficacy. Nova sent prayers to a porcelain alter, a thought that teased a near hysterical laugh from her throat.

God, she was tired.

She picked up her clothes, showered, and left her companion to sleep off whatever had happened the night before.

“Hey.” Nova leaned heavily against the front desk she only half-remembered approaching, rubbing her fingers against her temples as she reached for words.

“Yes?” The person behind the counter, some alien with six eyes that blinked asynchronously in a way that made the impossible task of focusing on where to look, harder still.

“I—, uh, shit, I don’t even know the fucking room.” She turned around like that might somehow make it clearer, but she distinctly remembered taking a lift. She was fucking this up. Breathe. New tactic. “I’m Nova. Did a Nova sign in a room yesterday?”

The receptionist typed something, every key stroke hit like an axe between Nova’s brows.

“Last name?” Thunder.

“Don’t have one,” except the art of opening her mouth properly had escaped her and everything had come out in a continuous nearly indecipherable donaveone. Which after receiving several blinks Nova repeated to marginal success.

“Mmm, there was a Nova NoStar.”

She cringed. “NoStar?”

The clerk nodded, well, sort of nodded. Bobbed. They had no neck or equivalent thereof.

“Goddammit,” her hands returned to her temples, her elbows to the counter, the effort of keeping herself upright just a bit too much when she had to deal with this shit. “Yeah, NoStar. I’d like to pay, yesterday and today.”

She’d have to burn this planet off the list. How fucking stupid did she have to be to give her real name? Sure, there were probably millions of Nova NoStars out there but Jeanne would find a way. Fuck.

Nova paid, the blaring of the screen as her transaction went through made her want to dash her head against the wall.

“Is there anything else you need?”

Nova blinked, waiting for the words to settle in her head and mean something. “Need? Oh, uh, yeah, fuck, is there someplace to get breakfast around here?” She glanced at the sun that filtered in through the small window by the receptionist’s desk. “Or lunch?”

The directions she’d received sent Nova to a small food stand that smelled of grease and the promise of revival. She couldn’t read the menu and simply pointed and was handed something that might have been bread and some sort of meat, along with a bottle of water. The man who ran the stand was some flavor of human, though Nova could hardly be bothered to parse his existence. Modified, maybe?

She tried not to look too hard at what he’d given her. It undulated a bit if she stared at it too long, like it wasn’t quite dead despite the steam wafting from it. The first bite reminded her that she hadn’t really eaten the day before and the thing was gone before she knew it. She licked the oil from her fingers and set on the water.

Thank god for small miracles. She felt halfway human.

The traffic of the world sang through the air above her, in large ships belching black into the skies and buffeted her from all sides in lower forms of travel, things with wheels and rails and low flying capabilities. Galactic Union banners waved high overhead. Somewhere a commercial played calling for people to sign up for positions at their embassies.

The Galactic Union: Be part of something bigger.

Nova didn’t recognize this part of the city. It was cramped and crowded, two things Nova actually liked while she was working, but now that she was simply eating and drinking her way through her savings, was simply another obstacle that teased the remainder of her headache from the corners of her mind.

That and with food and water sustaining her, what little of her mind that was able to rouse for non-essential activities busied itself chiding her for her stupidity or cycling through all the things she could have done to save Lulu.

If only she’d been faster.

If only she’d noticed sooner.

If only she wasn’t such a fucking idiot.

If only she hadn’t listened.

Nova, stay put. The words rang clear as a bell between her ears. And then she was there again, frozen. Watching.

Lulu smiled. The skin at the corner of her eyes crinkled in concern, for Nova or herself, Nova didn’t know.

Then Lulu was gone.

The air around Nova was too thin, her pulse was a thready hum. She walked faster as if that might somehow put some distance between herself and the memory. A horn blared and the world rocketed into focus as a vehicle stopped just short of ramming her full speed and settled instead for banging into her leg just enough that her palms slammed into the hood to keep her steady.

Nova stared, wide eyed at the driver, her breaths coming in pants.

Wasn’t this what she’d wanted?

Why hadn’t they been driving faster?

Why did they stop?

The curses that filtered in through her translator were colorful and fantastical. Her bottom lip quivered as tears pricked the back of her eyes.

Lulu wouldn’t want this for me.

Her hands flew away from the hood as if she’d been burned. “Sorry,” was all she offered as she hurried away, her leg protesting at her speed after enduring that abuse. The driver’s curses followed her until she turned a corner and pressed her back against the wall of some towering building. The stone dug into her back, rough and painful, and real.

Her hands shook with leftover adrenaline.

“Fuck.”

She was going to cry. She couldn’t keep doing this.

“Lulu wanted you to live, you fucking idiot,” she whispered. “How could you forget how to do the one goddamn thing she wanted you to do?”

#this is something I wrote while procrastinating on something else purely in an effort not to do the thing. don't @ me #tw: drinking #tw: grief #tw sui ideation

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samcat0925 · 1 year

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For TOH ships: Who fell first and who fell harder for each other?

For Lumity:

This should be obvious since the show made it very clear that Amity fell for Luz first and, based on the show, I think that while the both of them love each other very much, Luz fell harder for Amity once she realized her feelings for her while Amity's feelings took time to develop.

For Raieda:

This again should be obvious from the show making it very clear that Eda fell for Raine first, but based on the show, I think that when Raine fell for Eda, they fell for her hard. Not that Eda's feelings for Raine weren't intense too but they took some time to get to that point. Even after Raine and Eda broke up, the two of them still held those feelings for the other and as the saying goes "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", the whole “not having the other in their lives” made them miss the other more and more as time went on.

Although Eda tried to get rid of those feelings by dating other people, those relationships never lasted since they were never the same as when she was with Raine while Raine couldn't bring themselves to date someone else as Eda never truly left their mind even after all those years since they last spoke, especially after Eda's near petrification. Seeing Eda nearly get turned to stone terrified Raine to their core and it was a feeling that they never wanted to experience again which was what made them so adamant about not letting anything happen to Eda when it came to the Draining Spell and the Day of Unity.

For Huntric:

I personally think that Edric fell for Hunter first and fell hard for the blonde. Just everything about Hunter made Edric's heart skip a beat and made him want to show the blonde all of the love that he never got growing up, knowing how much suffering that the other boy had been through because of Belos. While Hunter's feelings came and grew slowly with each passing day. Hunter knew that he cared for the Blight and that he wanted to grow closer to the green haired boy but, due to how sheltered he was thanks to Belos, he thought that was normal for every friendship.

It was until he asked Raine what made feelings of love different from feelings of friendship which they explained that when you're around friends, you feel calmer and more relaxed while when you're around someone that you love, you feel light and warm like you know in your heart that being around them is your special place that you know that you would do anything to make sure that it's still around. After hearing that, Hunter started to recall that he felt that kind of warm feeling around Ed that he didn't really feel for others(except for Willow but that was before she rejected him and the two agree to being just friends) but he kept denying it, thinking that there was no way that he was in love with Ed.

Then Luz had hosted a slumber party and invited the members of EE, The Blight siblings, and Matt(well more like Gus invited him but Luz was cool with it). During the night, Hunter saw Ed without his concealment stone, and you could have seen steam coming off of his face from how warm and red it got. All Hunter could think about was how cute and handsome Ed looked without it on while thinking of different ways to get Ed to be comfortable with not having it on more when he's around. That's when Hunter (finally) realized that there was no mistaking that he had fallen for the Blight boy.

For Skarlow:

I personally think that Skara fell for Willow first, but she didn't express them due to how she treated Willow when she was friends with Boscha but as time passed, Skara's love for the glasses girl grew more and more intense, making her fall hopelessly in love with her. Willow's feelings came after Skara's when Skara defend her when Boscha tried to bully her and afterwards Skara made sure that Willow was okay, even going so far as to take her to the medical wing which, to Willow, was very sweet.

It was at that moment that Willow realized that her feelings and the warmness that she was experiencing in her chest for the bard were feelings of love and once she figured that out, she also started to notice all of Skara’s special quirks and features that made the warmness grow more. That's when she noticed how deep her feelings for the Bard were.

For Viney X Emira(Do they have a ship name?):

I like that Emira always thought that Viney was cute but didn’t really develop feeling for her until she joined the healing track but at the time, her crush was very small. Until she went with her twin brother to their school’s Flyer Derby game to tease him for his crush on the blonde boy that was on the team. While Ed and his crush were talking (and being super obvious that they like each other), Emira and Viney had joke to each other about the two and made secret bets to each other about how long it would take for the two to confess their feeling. After a while of joking, the two of them agreed to hang out afterwards which Emira immediately noticed the bubbly feeling that she was experiencing when she thought of her and Viney hanging out and understood that she had fallen for the brown-haired witch. Viney gained a small crush on Emira after hanging out with her after the game but fell for her hard after seeing Emira get along really well with Puddles. I mean what can I say, the girl wants any partner that she might have to get along with her favorite gryphon. Afterwards the two of them start hanging out with each other a lot after that which makes both of their crushes grow a lot more.

For Gusholomule:

I like to think that Matt fell for Gus first after a while of the two becoming friends but tried everything to get rid of those feelings. If you were to ask him why, he’d say that it was because he didn’t want to have feelings for someone like Augustus but in reality, it was because he thought that there was zero chance of Gus returning his feeling due to being a huge jerk towards him and Luz. So, Matt tried to deny, bury and or get rid of his feelings for the illusionist which only made his feeling for the other bloom even more.

Gus, on the other hand, didn’t really notice his feelings for Matt at first until Willow made a comment about how he’s been talking about the other witch a lot lately and jokingly says that he’s starting to sound like Luz when she first developed a crush on Amity which made Gus’s face turn red. Those words made him think about how, out of all of his friends, Matt was the one who Gus would talk about the most and how he’d look for any excuse to hang out with the witch, even though they already spend a lot of time together on the weekends. Yeah, Matt was a jerk to him at first but after what happened at the Looking Glass Ruins, he showed Gus that he wasn’t that bad and that the two were able to create a friendship with each other after that. That was the moment that Gus figured out that he had fallen for Matt and he had fallen hard for him.

For Darius X Alador (Do they have a ship name too?):

When they were both in school, Darius and Alador were very close towards each other. After a while of them being best friends, Darius fell for Alador first. I mean how could he not fall for the massive dork that is his best friend? However, he didn’t tell Alador this out of fear of rejection but what he didn’t know that that Alador also had feeling for him but didn’t realize it at the time. Then the two had their huge falling out and didn’t talk to each other due to both stubbornness and not wanting to make the situation worse. During that time, Alador and Odalia started dating which really hurt Darius but keeps it to himself.

After they graduated and Odalia and Alador got married, they two stopped talking all together but they had a lot of feelings of regret for how they ended things. Darius would also complain about Alador to Eberwolf and Raine but after a while, the two Coven Heads start to figure out that Darius’s complains are just him masking how he really felt for the other male.

After the Day of Unity, the Collector and Odalia’s and Alador’s divorce, they start talking again (with some forced help from Raine and Eda) and become friends again which leads to Darius falling for Alador all over again but only this time, Alador also falls for him too and hard enough where he actually notices his feelings for the male.

For Veesha:

Vee fell for Masha a little bit before Luz and the group came to the human world. Vee just always thought that Masha was pretty and had a very interesting personality that made them stand out from other humans which is what made Vee want to become friends with them in the first place. It wasn’t until Vee showed Masha that she wasn’t exactly human and Masha being totally cool with it, that Vee really fell hard for Masha. Masha thought that Vee was very cute and felt comfortable with them, especially after coming out to them about being nonbinary. After a while of Vee telling them about not being human like them and actually coming from a demon realm, Masha gains feeling for Vee and begins to think about how cute they were in their natural (basilisk) form a lot.

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bellamyblake · 8 months

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Part 37 of the single!dad Bellamy fic is posted! Here are the people who asked to be tagged (if you want to be removed please let me know): @pendragaryen, @takamurasposts, @star-sky-earth, @blakecholls, @theturquoiseoillady, @sarcasticcommentsetc, @peggysousfan, @whiteoleander, @chickens474; (I unfortunately can't tag everyone as some new Tumblr rule forbids me to do so! Sorry!)

(moodboard by @star-sky-earth):

The way home is much harder than he aniticipated. He has to stop all the time and the guards positioned out in all the hallways and smaller intersections, watching him and the other workers intently, weren’t helping things.

Every time he tried to take a break and lean on a wall or support himself somewhere, he got a scowl from one of them, an angry grunt or a “Keep moving, mechanic” that forced him despite his pain to keep going.

He coughed a lot but the more he approached his home, the better the air was but also the colder it got. It was such a big difference from the heat and stuffy air on the level to being here in the compartment hallways.

And that scared him and made him walk faster-if it was that cold out here, then it was even worse at their place and Clarke and Gus, God...

Clarke and Gus-

He hobbled over and fell to his knees, not once but twice. Sometimes some of the workers passing by helped him move up and he hated it though he couldn’t have done it without them, other times he just touched the wall with his hand and cursed his stubborness-Clarke had been right, he should’ve used the crutch more-his leg felt like it was burning from top to bottom and it kept buckling underneath him, refusing to hold his weight. That and the cut under his knee wasn’t helping things either-he knew he was leaving a trail of blood behind him but he couldn’t care.

He had to get home.

Finally, he burst through the doors and upon sensing the freezing air that made his breath come out in small white clouds, he pancked.

“CLARKE!” he called out “Clarke! Gus!” he coughed again, this time not because the air was too hot like in the site of the accident but because it was so sharpingly cold that it made his lungs contract painfully. “Clarke, I’m here!” he called out as he started limping to the bathroom.

He opened the door up with a bang and what he saw made him stop abruptly.

There they were, Clarke was curled up on the matress with his back to him, dressed up in the jacket he left her with and three of the blankets on top of her with a smaller lump pressed to her chest on one side and to the pipes on the other. The air was so cold he could see the mirror has frozen and there was some frost on the walls around him, except for the place where the pipes were just above Clarke and Gus.

This was bad. This was worse than ever before, he realized.

“Clarke! Gus!” he ran to them as much as he could, all pain in his leg forgotten, his cough ignored despite it being there, shaking his body. He didn’t matter, not now, all he had to make sure was they were fine.

He kneeled right next to her and grabbed her shoulder shaking it maybe a little too harsh.

“Clarke! Clarke, wake up! Clarke!” he saw her face was as white as the sheets underneath them and when he picked it up in his hands, he found it freezing cold. She had pressed Gus to her chest, pushed him under the big sweater and her shirt, undressed him so they could exchange body heat, so she could keep him warm and Bellamy couldn’t even get a good sight of his boy “Clarke! Clarke, oh god, no, come on, wake up!” he patted her cheeks but there was no responce and he felt his eyes fill with tears “Clarke! Clarke, please, Clarke! Gus! Gus, son-” he put his hand on his head and felt it warm, much warmer than Clarke’s but his boy wasn’t moving either.

In panic, he picked them up in his arms and held them tight, patting Clarke’s cheek gently. Then he leaned closer and felt her breath coming out of her mouth despite it being shallow and uneven and then his fingers slid to her throat and found a pulse-weak but again, it was there and he exhaled.

They were alive.

They didn’t freeze to death.

But they were bad, they were really bad.

“Clarke, Clarke, please wake up!” he begged as he held her close to his chest and moved his hands up and down her arms and back trying to warm her up “Come on, princess, don’t give up on me now.” he was begging so hard as if she could actually hear him. He looked around and saw all the bottles that he’d warmed up were sprayed around them but were frozen now and the electric blanket was cold upon him touching it. God knows how and when they lost any source of meager heat. “Clarke! Please, please, come on, don’t give up on me now, you’re more stubborn than that, princess!” he leaned over and kissed her forehead holding her tight in his arms and begging whatever was out there in the universe to please not take her away from him.

And then-

A cough.

“Bellamy, you’re going to suffocate me.” he hears her say weakly and when he pulls away he finds her eyes barely open, staring up ahead drowsily, tiredly but they were opened, she was alive.

“Oh, thank god!” he cried out, seeing his tears fall freely from his cheeks down on hers making her blink a few times “Thank god!” he kept mumbling and before he could stop himself, he leaned over again and kissed her on the lips. They were freezing cold against his but it seemed that this act alone made her warmer and soon enough she kissed him back slowly, softly.

When he pulls away he cups her cheek and moves her up in his arms.

“You’re...you’re home.”

“We fixed it.” he says with a gentle smile, all events from last night rushing back into his brain only for him to push them back again-none of this mattered but her and Gus. “How is he?”

“He’s cold...very cold. I stripped him of his clothes and pushed him to my chest to wram him up but Bellamy I think that-” she looks down on Gus who remains unmoving “It’s bad. We need to wram him up, his feet are frozen.” Bellamy feels his hear trump in his chest and he carefully moves Clarke up and presses her against the pipes, feeling as they were growing hotter now, even warming up the wall around it. Soon enough he knew the electricity would swarm through all of Factory-he had to get up and take care of them, make sure they got better.

He carefully peels off the blankets from her and Gus, unzips her jacket and gives her an apologetic looks when he does so, noticing her wince a little and cough herself but when his hand moves to pull the sweater up and he sees Gus’ tiny feet pressed to her side he loses his breath for a moment.

“Clarke-” he calls out to her and she leans forward her arms still wrapped around Gus tiny body around his back, pressing him to her chest in a death grip that had no undoing. “Clarke, his toes-” he picks up Gus’ feet and Clarke gasps when she sees the redness covering his feet-his first, second and third finger were an angry bright red, swollen and puffy and it went all the way like this to almost the middle of his little foot.

“Frostbite.” she whispers when she touches it herself and her movement from Gus’ back sends the kid wiggling in her arms. “He has frostbite, Bellamy.” she looks at him and meets his eyes, finding him in shock-he was so scared, the same way he was when Gus was sick and he came begging for her help “Look at the other one, come on-” she urges him, sending him into action knowing that this was the only way she could snap him out of it.

Bellamy pulls her clothes away and carefully takes Gus other foot in his hand lifting it up enough so they could both see it under the light coming from the small lamp that remained in the corner, batteries almost running out.

Bellamy sighs a little relieved when he doesn’t find anything too scary on his other foot-it was a little red and cold but his toes were fine.

“We need to check him out-” Bellamy mumbles “And you, we have to make sure you’re...you’re fine. I’ll-” he covers Gus and her back with the blankets and tries to stand up but he sways so violently he almost falls on top of them.

Then her eyes fall on his leg and sees the blood on his pant leg.

“You’re hurt!” she exclaims and finally takes a better look at him seeing him covered in saw and dirty from head to toe, barely breathing but still struggling to do his best.

“I’m okay.” he cuts her off “I’ll go turn the heating on, then I’ll come for you guys, alright. Just...try to keep up a few more minutes.” he begs and before she can protest, he’s already limping outside.

He’s panicking, dying on the inside but he cannot do this-he can’t be weak now so instead, he gets into action-he turns all radiators on to the highest possible point, not caring if he’ll have to pay extra rations for that, then turns all the lamps and heats up water in a big pot on the stove since the hot water from the sink hasn’t gotten to a higher degree yet and he also puts in some formula because he knows he’ll need to feed Gus, that it may even help him warm up.

When he goes back to the bathroom he finds Clarke dozing off again and he carefully undoes the blankets and the jackets again and picks Gus up in his arms first.

“Here you go, my boy, here you go, easy-”he takes Gus’ frozen limp body in his arms and the kid stirs for the first time but doesn’t wake up. He’s so small in this moment, so tiny in his arms just like when he was as a baby-he’s curled up on himself and he doesn’t even shake which means the cold had taken all control of his body.

Bellamy commands himself to be strong as he carefully takes him back to the now much warmer living room. He puts him on the bed under the blankets and places six hot water bottles around him before going back for Clarke.

She’s not much better and she’s coughing loudly and sickeningly, mirroring his own state, which scares him even more.

“Bellamy-” she says through ragged breaths, her fingers, her toes, her face-she’s all so damn cold.

“Shh, princess, I’ll take care of you, I promise.” he gently pushes her on the bed next to Gus and brings more hot water bottles, almost falling in the process of doing so.

“Bellamy, we need to take care of this cut.” she tries but he shakes his head.

“It’s good, it doesn’t hurt and it’s not deep.” he lies pushing her down “Please don’t move, you have to warm up.” but Clarke’s relentless and tries to move on her elbows though she’s barely able to before she falls on the pillows with a thud. It’s much warmer now in the room and he knew soon enough they’d feel a little better but after a night like this, the chill didn’t leave your body for days after. Clarke was already weakened from not eating enough and trying to adjust to the Factory station conditions-if she got worse now, if she got sick, he would never forgive himself.

“Bellamy-”

“Clarke, please!” he begs her pushing her down again and bringing in the big duvet, adjusting it over both her and Gus. The kid hasn’t moved at all since Bellamy found them and he was scared senseless but he was pushing all his panic down and forcing himself to just keep going.

He was filling in the bottle of formula when Gus stirs and cries out, sending Bellamy rushing there in a second.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, my boy, it’s okay!” the kid struggles under the blankets and tosses left and right before he looks up at his dad all confused and somewhat delusional. “Hey, Gus, I’m here.”

“Dada?” he asks and Bellamy exhanges a look with Clarke as he feels Gus’ forehead.

“He seems feverish.” he tells her just as confused-the kid was cold up until half an hour ago and now he was burning up like when he was sick.

“That’s the frostbite-” she tells him after another cough shakes her too “Side-effect.”

“Dada, I’m cold!” Gus cries out, he’s so scared and shaky that it breaks Bellamy’s heart “Dada!” he reaches out with his tiny arms and Bellamy picks him up immideately, deciding that he himself was warm enough to keep him there but still throwing one of the blankets on top ot the boy’s tiny shoulders.

“I know, I know you are son but we’ll warm you right up, okay?”

“Dada, please hold me!” he begs “Don’t let me go!”

“I won’t, I promise that I won’t.” Gus speech comes slurred and his head hangs over Bellamy’s shoulder-the boy’s limp in his arms, very weak and when Clarke sits up and shakes the dizzyness off herself with a shake of her head, he doesn’t stop her.

“We need to check him up, see if there’s any more of this.” she whispers sitting up in bed and pulling the blanket down a little. Gus whimpers immideately and wraps his arms tighter around his dad’s neck.

“Hey, it’s okay we just need to see how you're doing, kiddo.” Bellamy whispers stroking his head over and over again. Gus doesn’t say anything but just whimpers when Clarke pulls up at his clothes, checks his back, his butt, his arms, then Bellamy pulls him away and tugs the shirt on the front to see his chest and stomach. Gus cries now, begs them to stop and Bellamy’s heart breaks when they do this to him but he had no other way of checking him out.

“Hey, Gus, can you tell me what hurts?” Clarke asks carefully when the kid is a little calmer in his dad’s arm for just a moment. The tears keep streaming down his face, he’s lying in Bellamy’s chest in a baby-like position, gripping his shirt with his fingers and burying his face in his chest.

“My foot.” he mumbles “My foot urts, dada!” he tells Bellamy and he grips him tighter.

“I know, son, we’ll wrap it up and make it better, okay?” he looks at Clarke for confirmation “Doctor Clarke will fix it. She can fix anything, you know? She’s the best doctor on the ark.” Bellamy keeps rambling rocking Gus a little in his arms while Clarke stands up, wobbly herself and heads to grab some bandages and that oil that she brought ages ago for when she wrapped his wounds after the bombings. Bellamy had kept it hidden in the corner and not used it, leaving it for emergencies like this one.

“Here, you go, baby boy.” she comes back and sits by Bellamy and Gus. The kid’s whiny, sad, annoyed, all at once. The night had been horrible for them and he was in pain and anxious all at once.

Clarke wraps his fingers one by one and Gus squirms and begs in his dad’s arms, wanting to be released and when it gets to be too much Bellamy reaches and grabs Clarke’s hand.

“Wait...give him a moment.” he begs and picks Gus up, walks to the stove and takes the bottle of formula he had filled. He talks to him in Tagalog now, soothing him, rubbing his hand up and down his tummy and making him quiet down. Gus is still anxious and scared but he settles, especially when Bellamy gives him the bottle and he starts sucking on it.

The room is warm enough now that his bare foot out in the open is not such a problem and Clarke watches as Bellamy walks around the room with Gus and rocks him carefully as the kid ate.

And then...then he sang.

He leaned his back against the kitchen sink, held him, stared at him and he sang. It was quiet, gentle, his voice was hoarse and steady despite the tears in his eyes-Clarke couldn’t understand the words, they weren’t English but they were soft and they threatened to put even her to sleep.

She was mesmerized by seeing him there like this, holding his son against his chest, feeing him and singing to him-he was covered in dirt from head to toe, hadn’t even had the chance to clean or wash himself up but he was there for her, for his son.

Gus’ body got limp in his arms and soon enough the kid was asleep, so Bellamy carefully maneuvered him back to the bed, to her and watched as she finished wrapping his leg.

“What will happen to him?” he asks quietly, voice breaking now.

“We have to keep it warm and wrap it up like this, give him some pills for the fever and not let him walk on it until it gets better.” she explains as she finishes up the bandage and carefully puts the sock back on Gus’ foot. “There’s this special paste for frostbite. If we can get it somehow, it’ll help him heal faster.”

“I’ll find the rations.” he promises tightening his grip on Gus’s body “They should pay me some tomorrow and I’ll get it right away.”

“Bellamy-”

“Do you think it’s expensive?” he cuts her off before she can argue with him.

“Not that much, I don’t know. Maybe at least fifty points.” he swallows hard at that-this would probably be the amount he’d get tomorrow which meant if he spent it all on medicine, he couldn’t bring any food home.

But maybe he could get to work and earn extra, at least enough to bring a warm dinner for Clarke and Gus. Yes, he’d do that. Sinclair’s plan to let him rest would have to be put on hold-this wasn’t happening, not until both of them were better.

“Do you think that he’ll lose....that he’ll-” Clarke grabs his arm and squeezes it tightly, looking into his eyes, expression determined and set on figuring this out.

“No.” she insists “I won’t let that happen.” Bellamy almost whimpers when she says this but he hides his pain away from her, bows down and kisses Gus’ forehead as he kept a tight grip on him and whispered reassurances in his ear, even though he was asleep.

Clarke reaches over and picks his face in her cold hands.

“Hey-” she strokes the dark circles under his eyes and forces him to come out in the open instead of hide away from here “We’ll figure this out, Bellamy.” she assures him “Together.” he smiles a little and leans forward just as she did as if he could read her thoughts and when their lips collided she felt safe for the first time since last night. He moved his hand to cup her cheek too and when they pulled away because both of them were coughing now, he rubbed his nose against hers she felt his breath fan her lips.

“Clarke-” his voice came out a little more broken than he probably intended to but he stared into her eyes again before he continued “Thank you. For keeping him safe.”

Clarke felt her whole being light up at that, despite all the pain, despite her body shaking all frozen to her bones, despite the shiver that ran down her spine and the fact that she just had the most horrible night of her life.

“You know I always will.” she smiled as she said it and he exhaled, having held his breath this entire minute, wondering if he maybe said or did the wrong thing and then he leaned in for another kiss.

This one was messy, too damn messy but it was filled with love and passion. It’s like this entire time they couldn’t truly breathe without each other, their bodies freezing not just from the cold but the fact that they were separated and only now were they truly coming together-igniting the fire in them back up and bringing each other to life.

They kissed like this for a while, a little awkwardly, a little too messily since none of them were in a good physical condition, until Gus stirred in Bellamy’s arms and they both pulled away at the same time.

She coughed a little again and he furrows his eyebrows.

“Lay back down, rest. I’ll wash up and make food.”

“No, you’re hurt-” she tries to stop him and gestures at his leg “I have to patch it up.”

“It’s not a big deal” he promises squeezing her hand as he easily overpowers her to lay back down on the bed and gently puts Gus next to her, covering both of them with the blankets.

They were much warmer now, he could tell by just touching them but he still adjusted the blankets on both their sides and kissed their foreheads before standing up and heading for the bathroom.

He leaned on the sink and breathed heavily, trying to let everything that had just happened to him today sink through-he was bone tired but he had to keep pushing, it was just the beginning of the day and he had to take care of Clarke and Gus, put all his efforts and strength there, so he could get to work tomorrow and figure it out.

His son was hurt...so hurt-frostburn was something Bellamy never wanted to happen to him and yet it had.

He let his tears roll and fall in the sink as he leaned over and pushed his shirt off his head.

For a moment he couldn’t breathe, not because he was hurt or because of all the bad air he’s inhaled today but because his son almost froze to death, the woman that he loved was passed out from the horrible conditions in the station and he pushed himself to his limits to fix a giant engine, so they can get warm again yet he’s never felt more helpless in his life.

He takes out his clothes as he feels the anxiety bloom in his chest and when he turns on the shower, he cries so they wouldn’t hear him-he breaks down in a way that he hasn’t since Gina had died but he knew he had to do it now, here, so when he left the bathroom, he could go back outside and be the person that they needed him to be.

Somehow his tears won’t stop, though-it’s like a river pouring out of him, even when he puts on his shirt, even when he sits on the toiilet lid and wraps his leg in a tight handmade bandage after pouring some moonshine on it-it wasn’t that deep, he thought, he wouldn’t bother Clarke with it-all he had to do was hide it.

Hide all of his pain away, cover himself in big ragged clothes and push forward for his son whose toes and foot were frozen, for Clarke who was now coughing much like him.

All clean and freshened up, he comes back to the room now much warmer than it has probably been all week and checks on them-Gus is sound asleep, curled up with his back to Clarke’s side and she’s spooning him, her hand thrown over the baby boys' middle. Bellamy gives them a fond look and strokes their heads as he kneels down to place gentle kisses on their foreheads.

He decides to check if there’s something in his ration’s card-it was Monday, so something from last week’s work must’ve come through and he carefully slips in his shoes and throws on his jacket. This time, though, without shame, he takes his crutch-he wouldn’t be that stupid to pass out somewhere in the hallway outside, not when others depended on him.

There’s a machine in each bigger hallway where you could swipe your card and check your balance before going in the mess hall and when Bellamy does it, his eyes widen a little-he had fifty, exactly as much as he’d need for Gus’ frostbite medicine.

But that meant nothing would be left for food and they were literally out of bean cans or formula. And then he hears a familiar voice come from behind him, a soft hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

“Bellamy?” he turns around to find his mom, staring up at him worriedly but also relieved, she throws herself in his arms and squeezes him tightly “Oh, thank God! I was so worried when the electricity stopped last night, I knew they’d call you out to help.”

And then the dam that has been threatening to burst for weeks now, finally does.

“Mom-” he cries out and buries his head in her shoulder “Oh, mom-” he allows himself to sob this time-this big supposedly strong man collapses into his mom’s arms and hides in her chest, crying like a baby.

“Bellamy, oh, son-” she runs her hand through his curly hair “Shh, it’s okay, I’m here, it’s alright.” he tightens his grip on her and hopes they don’t attract any attention because right now, he’s ashamed of himself, ashamed of his weakness. He could do better but all he managed to was cry his ass out and fail to provide enough for his son. “It’s okay, what happened, Bellamy?” she pulls his head away and cups his face, wiping the tears from his face. He’s flushed and shy just like Gus got when he was embarrassed but Aurora simply stands on her toes, kisses his forehead and takes his good hand.

“Come on, come here, let’s talk.” she helps him to the nearest bench and they both sit down his mom’s hand never leaving his. For a moment he feels guilty that he never thought about her last night-that his focus was solely on Gus and Clarke or saving Miller or fixing the engine and not her.

“Are you...are you okay, mom?” he asks as the guilt crawls through his entire self.

“Am I okay?” she asks confused “Bellamy, I’m not the one having a breakdown in the middle of the Factory hallways.” he looks around whips his head left and right to check if there are many people going around but the place is surprisingly empty.

“Why is there no one going to work?”

“Didn’t you hear? The councilmen announced a day off for everyone this morning so we could...as he so eloquiently said-recuperate.” Bellamy huffs at that and wipes at his teary eyes, brushing them away with the back of his jacket and coughing a little “What happened? Talk to me.” she prompts him and he winces a little as he begins telling her everything from Miller getting hurt last night to coming home and finding Clarke and Gus in the bathroom, to his boy getting frostbite.

“How bad is it?” she asks trying to keep her voice steady but he could see she’s angry too.

“A few toes, his first ones and half of his leg.”

“Has the skin peeled off?”

“Yeah...a little.”

“Anywhere else, his fingers or his hands? His face?” he shakes his head and Aurora exhales at that. “And Clarke?”

“No, she’s okay...just very cold and coughing somewhat but I’ll give her some of my syrup.” Aurora nods and squeezes his hand again but he’s too ashamed to look up at her-feeling like he failed her as well because she raised him to do better, to take better care of his family.

“You’ll need the Frostbite paste for him.” she announces and he whips his head surprised at her “It costs fifty ration points.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you needed it too when you were a kid.” his mouth drops a little and she gives him a serious look “What? You don’t think you had gone through that as well? Bellamy, almost every child in Factory suffers from frostbite.”

“But...I don’t remember it.”

“You were a baby, your dad had just passed and one night they turned the electricity off without any of us expecting it to. I was asleep with you in bed I didn’t even notice at first until I woke up hours later and you were so cold, I thought you were dead.” his eyes widen at that realizing just now that his mom, as always has gone through the same things he was as a parent “Your fingers and your toes almost all got red and started peeling.”

“How did you...how did you get the rations?” it’s her turn to look away for a moment before she lifts her head up and juts her chin proudly.

“I did what I had to, Bellamy.” and he winces as he hears her voice and looks away-he knew...of course he knew, he wasn’t stupid. He’s reminded of that time the guards thought he was Clarke’s stripper when they went to Alpha because so many politicians or rich folks would hire poor factory men or women for sex and pleasure just for a meager amount of rations. For them fifty points was nothing, absolutely nothing, they could throw them in the wind in a second and not think about it twice but for Aurora, for Bellamy, it was the difference between their child being crippled and getting better.

He knew his mom had done it, or at least suspected so but they’ve never really talked about it until after Gina’s death when Bellamy was very desperate for rations and was about to offer himself the same way his mom had before.

There was a place to go for so you can be picked out-a small hallway in GoSci that the guards avoided. Everyone knew about it but nobody did anything for it-prostitution was officially forbidden on the Ark or so the law said but it may be the only one that was broken most often and nothing, absolutely nothing was done about it.

As it suited the politicians on the Ark.

Aurora had caught Bellamy then, found him, dragged him back home and given him a speech-he wouldn’t repeat her fate. She’d help him with food, with formula, they’d take extra shifts, they’d manage but not this...never this, she said.

He had felt like a teenage boy caught sneaking around then but had agreed with a careful quiet nod. It was different times then though-he had strength then, he wasn’t hurt-now...now he was at a loss.

“I know that and I’m grateful but I wish you didn’t have to.” Aurora scoots closer to him and wraps her bony arm around his waist rubbing his back gently.

“We all do what we have to do for our children.” she says softly and looks up at him carefully “It will be okay, Bellamy. He will recover.”

“I wish he didn’t have anything to recover from in the first place, mom.” Bellamy blurts out maybe a little angirly and forces himself to breathe and tame his anger but it just turns into yet another cough that shakes his entire being and he hates it all. “I wish he didn’t live here...have all this pain in his life.”

“Nobody wants their child to be in pain, Bellamy but whether he’s in Alpha or Factory, you cannot raise him in a glass box and prevent him from ever interracting with the world-he will run like every kid, fall down and get scrapes, he will get sick with the flu, he will get cold and maybe have frostbite.”

“Alpha children don’t get frostbite.”

“But we aren’t them, never have been, never will be.” Aurora says a little more sternly, bringing him back to reality “You’re angry and I understand that-you watch your son and you see him suffer but let me remind you that I too watch my son suffer, every day.” his face falls at that and he turns to face her.

“Mom-” she cups his cheek and runs her thumb under his eye.

“Bellamy, we all do our best but sometimes we cannot fix everything. Do you think my heart doesn’t skip a beat every time I see you limp or cough? Do you think I don’t spent my days at work and nights at home wondering if you’re okay, how much pain you’re in and how hard you were trying to push through it despite it all?”

“Mom, I’m okay.”

“No, you aren’t. You got hurt. Permenantly.” he bows his head down and swallows hard a little “You’ll be like this for the rest of your life. I will watch you suffer for the rest of your life. My son...my beautiful boy.” he covers her hand with his and looks into her eyes finding the pain that he had when he looked at Gus mirrored there.

“I’m getting used to it.” he whisper softly “I will...I will be okay eventually.”

“Do you ever wish upon Gus to get used to pain?” he shakes his head stubbornly and grits his teeth.

“Gus will get out of here. He won’t live the life we do, he won’t raise his own children in this hell. I won’t allow it.” Aurora sighs and lets their hands drop to her lap. She wraps her bony white fingers full of tiny needle holes that mapped her palm and made her mirror, in a way, the freckles on his face.

“Is that why you won’t tell me what’s happening with your job?”

“My job?” he tries to sound surprised but it comes out as a weak excuse instead and the motherly scowl returns to Aurora’s face making him bow his head down like a five year old kid who didn’t do his homework.

“I know something’s changed. I met Miller the other day and asked him about you. He said you’ve been relocated.” Bellamy closes his eyes and lets his fingers squeeze hers tightly “That and the cake for Gus’ birthday, the P.S said someone named S send it and not Williams.”

“Mom-”

“What’s happening, Bellamy?”

“I can’t talk about it.” he mumbles barely audible as he coughs again a little and hides his face in his elbow briefly while it passes. Aurora reaches over for his forearm and pulls it away, turning his face by his chin to her and staring into his sad broken eyes.

“You’re not okay. And it’s not just your back or leg. You’ve been worse lately.”

“Mom, I can’t tell you.”

“Why?”

“I’m literally forbidden from doing so.” her eyes widen at that, her hand falls to her side and he sees fear in her eyes for the first time in a while.

“No...” she shakes her head “No, tell me you didn’t do this.”

“Mom-”

“Level 11?” she calls out a little too loud and Bellamy jumps somewhat scaredly looking around them for anyone passing by but the square was mostly quiet except for a few workers that were walking towards the pharmacy and mess hall hallways at a safe distance from them.

“Mom, quiet-”

“I won’t be quiet!” Aurora hisses back “What did you do? What did they offer you?” he sighs again-he knew she’d figure it out. Though nobody officially talked about level 11 on Factory everyone knew that there was a team trying to assemble it from its broken state and perhaps rebuilt it. It was a sort of myth going around amongst workers-they said only Alpha mechanics went there but they were too incompetent to rebuilt it and Factory would never regain the electricity accessability it had before because the chancellor wouldn’t allow it and that he left it broken and closed on purpose. And yet...there was gossip, some people saying they saw workers going up there with the elevators, generals, councilmen and even the chancellor himself but they never stayed long because it was dangerous.

“Mom, I told you, I can’t really talk about it.” he says through teeth as he keeps looking around “I’m not allowed to.” the fever with which he says it makes her back down a little but the light in her eyes, that angry motherly scold mixed with fear never disappeared.

“You’ll die out there.”

“No, I won’t.”

“You’re risking your life over nothing.”

“I’m risking my life so that what happened last night doesn’t ever repeat!” he raises his voice a little but tones it down when he remembers that they’re still out in the opened “I’m risking my life so that my son doesn’t ever wake up with his toes red and peeling from frostbite or coughing his lungs out or god forbid,mom, dying!”

“What happens when you die?” she counters “What happens to that boy if you get killed out there, huh?”

“I could get killed anywhere, I told you what happened to Miller last night-nothing in Factory is safe, no matter the level you work on.” Aurora shakes her head angrily still disagreeing with him. “Is it a bigger risk? Yes, but it’ll be good for him.”

“Good how? Rations? Food?”

“Yes. I can afford everything he needs-he has to gain weight you know Clarke said he’s small and I can buy him clothes and shoes, raise him better, give him the opportunity, when he grows up to study for the medical exams if that is what he wants to do, give him access to the library in Alpha, to better teachers, a better life.” Aurora’s eyes fill with tears but she’s biting her lip in a quiet way of protesting “I can actually do this, mom.” there’s hope in his voice and it breaks her, it breaks her heart so much “I can save those rations even if we fix the Level sooner, before he’s older, I’ll have enough for him.”

“And what about you?”

“What about me?”

“What happens to you? To your state of being? To your leg and your lungs?” he opens his mouth to protest but she raises her hand “Everyone knows the air out there’s bad, that’s why nobody wants to work on it, that is why they seek you out because you are a Factory boy whose life being lost won’t matter.”

“Mom-”

“You’ll die before you’re forty, Bellamy!”s he cuts him off “All your grandeur plans for Gus and his future...” she shakes her head angrily “Do you think you’ll live to see him actually graduate? Start work? Will you ever be alive long enough to maybe meet his grandchild?” Bellamy pulls his hand away from her and rests it over his bad knee, squeezing it tightly.

“That doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.” Aurora says softly now “It does to Gus and I am sure as hell it changes everything for Clarke too.”

“Clarke will be okay.” he huffs it out but she doesn’t miss the way his cheeks blush.

“Clarke is in love with you and you are in love with her.” at that his eyes widen and he turns around to meet her eyes again-it was one thing for him to tell Clarke he loved her but for his mother to have seen it before they’ve ever told her so was...well, it made his heart flutter all over again. He smiles a little and feels his cheeks burn “You are together, aren’t you?” she prods softer now and he sneaks a look at her, nodding slowly “Good.”Aurora determines with ease and conviction.

“Is it?” he asks fearfully like a child looking for approval.

“Bellamy, I haven’t seen you look at anyone like this since Gina but it’s not just that...” she runs her hand up and down his arm motherly again “You seem...happier, lighter around her and I know she’s been through a lot but she has that same look on her face as well.”

“I am...I am happy with her.” he admits feeling his whole face blush “But I ....I also feel a little guilty.”

“Because of Gina?” he nods.

“And Gus. I don’t want him to think that I don’t love his mom anymore. I always will.”

“Have you talked to him about it?” Bellamy shakes his head and rests his back on the bench, stretching out his bad leg with a wince that Aurora doesn’t miss. It was a good thing he took his crutch but he should be at home resting, not out here.

“It’s...just happened recently, we wanted to give ourselves some time before we eased him into it.”

“That’s smart.” he looks at her glad for her approval and she smiles a little “I’m sure he will be thrilled, Bellamy. He loves her so much already.” Bellamy shrugs a little, still seemingly lost in his thoughts and the argument they’ve had before “I still think you should tell Clarke about Level 11 and that you should decline the offer.”

“I can’t. I have already started and there’s no going back now.”

“Even if there was, you wouldn’t take it, would you?” she asks seriously and he shakes his head in confirmation “You’re bent on it.” he nods staring at the floor ahead, afraid to face the angry beast that his mom could be when he was being idiotic.

Still, he reaches out for her hand and waits for her to take it before he swallows hard after yet another cough and dares a look at her.

“You won’t hate me for it, will you?”

“Oh, Bellamy-” her voice breaks a little now and she pushes his head to her shoulder again holding him in a tight yet awkward position that made his back hurt but he found that he didn’t mind it one bit-being held by his mom that was the best feeling in the world, one that he never wanted to lose ever again. “You are my son, I could never hate you.”

“But you don’t support me?”

“I don’t support your desicion but if you ever need me and my help, I will never turn my back to you.” she promises kissing his head and pulling away from him a little. Now both of them were crying and Bellamy was unabashedly brushing his teary cheeks with his sleeve. Aurora nervously moved her hands all over his head-swiping away the curls from his forehead, then to his cheeks which she cupped softly, then to his shoulders which she squeezed. “Now let’s go get this medicine and go back to your boy. I will help out with the rations.”

“Mom, no-”

“I’ve saved some lately, Bellamy.” she assures “Got more requests for birthday girl dresses. Apparently Alpha makes a celebration the size of our Wheat dayс when someone’s becoming of age.”

“But-”

“Stop arguing with me, Bellamy Blake and let’s go.” she urges him, helping him stand up and handing him his crutch “You listened to Clarke for once.”

“I took it myself.” he admits “Wasn’t sure I’d be able to walk without it.” he can only ever be honest with her about his pain like that and Aurora appreciated it even if it made her heart ache for her son.

They walked slowly to the pharmacy hallway and when they went there, they found a long queue already-many people, some of whom were barely standing on their feet like Bellamy-with severe frost bite and patched up hands and even faces, or others who coughed constantly even worse than Bellamy were lined up on the only desk they had opened.

“This will be a while.” he huffs a little annoyed as he leans his back on the wall and squeezes his crutch tightly. There were whole families here, some with their crying babies who were white or almost blue faced, others demanding they were examined by the doctor too and who were relocated to the office in the end of the hallway where Bellamy knew one of the older doctors-a seventy year old woman from Arrow who had somehow gotten a degree back in the day-were examining the severe cases. “Why don’t you go get food and then swing by to check on them while I get the medicine? I don’t want them to be alone.”

“Were they asleep when you left?”

“Yes, but Gus could wake up from his pain.”

“I don’t want to leave you, though, not like this.” Aurora insists as she dragged her look over him-he was in a bad shape himself, already barely standing on his feet and coughing constantly. “We’ll stay together. Clarke is with him and if he needs something she’ll take care of it.”

“But, what if-”

“No, Bellamy. We’re staying together.”

And there was a reason for that as Bellamy later realized. It took them over an hour to actually get to the desk behind which there was a young woman from Farm who was dressed in a white coat going over prescriptions and ration points and trying make sense of it all. The poor girl was so discheveled that Bellamy felt bad for her but he was actually a little relieved that she was the one on shift and not the older meaner pharmacist who would always argue with him about the dosage of his pills or the syrups.

“What can I do for you guys?” she asks when she pushes the paperwork aside and gives them a look, smiling a little despite the stress she was under.

“We’d like some frostbite paste.”

“For children or adults?”

“There’s a difference?” Aurora asks confused and the girl nods.

“Adult one’s stronger but it could still be used on a kid if you applied less. I have however only two child ones left so they cost more.”

“Shit.” Bellamy curses “How much?”

“Seventy.”

“I have fifty.”

“We’ll add mine too.” Aurora says sternly gripping his hand “We’ll take it. Also add two bottles of cough syrup, please.”

“Mom, no we can’t-” he tries to protest coughing a little as he spoke, proving her point that he needed this.

“Quiet, kid.” she scolds him and takes out her blue ration card setting it on the counter next to Bellamy’s “We’ll take some bandages too and give us some Tylenol as well.” she adds and the girl goes around to the shelves behind her, picking everything up.

“Mom!” Bellamy hisses at her “We cannot do this! You can’t spend all your savings on medicine.”

“I can do what I want since I am the parent and I decide what is best for my child and his son.”

“But-”

“Shush!” she actually scolds him and makes a few of the people behind them tern and smile at the exchange whilst Bellamy felt like an angry teenager who was all grown up but had to still listen to his mom because she apparently, said so.

“Which card am I charging this to?” the pharmasict asks when she brings in everything they’ve asked for and puts it in a big brown bag.

“Mine!” Aurora pushes it to her but Bellamy covers her hand and puts his foot down.

“Both!” he tells the girl and slides in his too. Aurora opens up her mouth to argue now but Bellamy cuts her off.

“You forget that you are my mother too and this isn’t a one-way street. You take care of me but I also take care of you.” Aurora grits her teeth despite wanting to argue with him and then the girl interrupts them.

“Sorry, but I can also charge all of it on your card, sir, if you’d like?” she turns to Bellamy “You have more than enough points.”

“What? That’s not possible. I only had fifty when I last checked.”

“You were transferred a hundred and fifty additional points about forty minutes ago according to my server.” she tells him staring at her computer screen and squinting her eyes trying to make out the numbers “It’s your paycheck for the last two weeks it seems.”

“But...there must be a mistake. I was sick and off for a while and I-”

“It is what it is, sir,” the girl adds tiredly, maybe even a little annoyed “would you like me to use your card or the missis too?” Aurora opens her mouth to argue but he takes her hand and squeezes it in quiet protest.

“Just mine.” he insists and the girl swipes Aurora’s back on the counter while she finishes his transaction. “Keep them, mom!” he insists but she shakes her head and takes the bag from the girl so he can shove his card back in his front pocket and walk off with his crutch.

“We’re going to mess hall and buying food.” she states “And this time, I’m paying.” he wants to argue with her but he knows better. She felt guilty that she insisted on the cough syrups and the bandages when he only wanted the frost burn paste and he’s well aware that he won’t change her mind about it so he just follows her slowly and tries to force himself not to stop whenever he felt out of breath.

His entire body still hurt starting from his bruised ribs to his back and all the way to his knee and even his fingers. There were moments, especially in the morning or when he overworked himself when even his foot felt paralyzed and he couldn’t feel much of his toes. He hadn’t told that to anyone, knowing it’d just freak them all out but on such occassions he got scared. Must be all the nerve damage as Clarke had explained back after the accident but he feels it now too and he is basically dragging his leg only feeling more of anything above his knee than down.

#bellarke fanfiction #bellarke #bellamy blake #clarke griffin #belalrke fanfic #bellarkeedit #ark!au #single dad!bellamy #doctor!clarke #and little gus #my writing

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i-am-bella-donna · 5 months

Text

Such a Promising Young Witch

AO3

Story Summary:

When Lilith Clawthorne was thirteen, she had promise. She had potential. Now, Lilith Clawthorne was thirty, and she was worthless.

Pairings: Platonic Darius x Lilith

Word Count: 4,000

CONTENT WARNINGS: ANXIETY ATTACKS, DISSOCIATION, SELF-HATRED, SUICIDE (SUICIDAL THOUGHTS)

A/N: Story Theme Song: Achilles Come Down (Female Version) by Annapantsu

Be careful, folks. This one is a little heavy.

No one dies or attempts suicide, but Lilith is not having a good time.

~~~

“She’s such a promising young witch.”

Lilith fought back a groan and hunched further over her office desk, a hand coming up to pinch the bridge of her nose as memories interrupted the more productive flow of thought.

“Who?”

“Lilith Clawthorne—that teenager with the dark red hair.”

“The one in the Potions Track?”

“Yeah!”

Her other hand trembled around her pen, sending a wide streak of ink across the page. Through her blurry vision, she could not tell how bad the smear was, but dread settled in her stomach nonetheless. She scrubbed at her eyes.

The Emperor expected—no, deserved perfection.

Her hands were still shaking as she straightened and decided to continue. She wanted to go back and redo the ruined paperwork, but was already running low on time. While she may have been willing to spend as long as necessary on her work, she could not afford to make the Emperor wait for her.

Lilith swallowed. The room was cold. Her head was spinning and her teeth were rattling.

“I bet she’s a shoo-in for the Emperor’s Coven!”

“Well, either her or her sister.”

“Are you kidding? Have you seen how much time Lilith spends studying?”

She had stopped watching the clock a while ago. The numbers were becoming too fuzzy.

“That girl works harder than any other student at Hexside—Edalyn has no idea who she’s up against!”

“Yeah, but we all know Edalyn is stronger. Lilith can study all she wants, but no amount of studying can replace raw power.”

She needed to pull herself together. The Emperor was counting on her. He had seen her for all of her horrible actions—and instead of scorning her, he had offered his hand in support.

“Bring me the Owl Lady, and I will heal the curse with no mention of your involvement. For such a promising young witch as yourself, I doubt it will be an issue.”

Lilith was supposed to capture Eda. She had tried to capture Eda, using the best of her efforts.

And still she failed.

Time and time again, she failed.

She had failed the Emperor.

She had failed herself.

She had failed Eda.

The bells of the clock tower tolled in the distance, ringing softly through her office. She usually found the noise soothing, like a call for sleep. But now it was just another reminder of how much time she was wasting—and how little she was getting done. The noise pounded against her skull and drew a groan from her.

She was twenty-nine years old, and she was even failing at maintaining a proper sleep schedule.

So much for being promising, she thought with a note of bitterness. I think I cursed the wrong witch.

The ink on the page was spreading. Spots of ink were blotting her vision, too.

There was a knock on her office door.

Almost on instinct, Lilith shot to her feet, paying no mind to her chair crashing to the ground behind her. She blinked the dark static out of her vision and gripped the edge of her desk as the room swayed beneath her feet.

Was it the Emperor?

Kikimora?

The Golden Gu—wait, he was dead.

Who in their right mind would still be working—and visiting her office—at such a late hour?

Another knock.

Lilith bit the inside of her cheek, her heartbeat picking up and her grip tightening. Why were they not—

Oh. Right.

“Come in!” she finally called out, her voice like broken glass. Internally, she winced. When was the last time she had spoken? Or drunk water?

I said I would get up for a drink when I finished two more pages of work. That was ten pages ago.

To be fair, water will be a nice reward if—when I am finished.

The door swung open and Lilith stiffened, posture tightening until a bolt of pain shot through her shoulders. She opened her mouth to apologize for her messy office and disheveled appearance, only for her visitor to cut her off.

“Sweet Titan, you should be asleep by now,” Darius scoffed, folding his arms and staring down at her with judgment. “How—actually, why are you still awake?”

Lilith blinked, unsure of how to reply as shame settled over her. Darius rolled his eyes at her lack of response and shut the door behind him, taking a few steps closer and giving her a once-over. He opened his mouth, and Lilith internally braced herself for a scolding.

“Do you even bother to take care of yourself anymore?”

There it was.

She blinked again to clear the blurry sight of his face, digging her nails into her skin as a chill shot down her spine. Darius clicked his tongue, and distantly, Lilith realized she was trembling.

How do I answer that question?

As though sensing her loss for words, Darius lifted his Scroll. There was a bright flash of light before Lilith could react, and then Darius was holding his Scroll out for her to see. It took a few seconds for her to recognize the image as a photograph of herself, and a few more for her breath to catch in her throat.

Titan—she looked awful.

Her skin was bloodless and drained of life, and her eyes were glassy with dark shadows underneath. Her hair was a tangled mess. The edges of her image were blurred slightly, as though even the camera had picked up on her shaking.

Any possible response remained stuck in the back of her throat. Darius nodded as though expecting this reaction, shoving his Scroll back into his pocket. “Being a Coven Head is time consuming, but that’s no excuse for neglecting self-care.” He paused, eyeing her nest of hair. “Or basic hygiene.”

“Easy for you to say,” she grumbled. “You seem to have plenty of spare time on your hands, Coven Head or not.” Her voice carried more of a bitter note than she would have liked, but she did not really care. It was an open secret that Darius and the Golden Guard had a close relationship—even Lilith had noticed. For a while, it had been almost wonderful to watch. Darius gained a lightness that Lilith had not seen since his falling-out with Alador and Odalia.

Then the Golden Guard died.

And everything changed.

“It’s a wonder you’re still standing,” Darius continued as though he had not heard her. “I leave you alone for a few weeks, and this is what you let yourself become?”

A few weeks?

It had been a few years since he had even bothered to have a real conversation with her.

After Hexside, she had found herself losing everyone. Her parents certainly did not care about her—they did not attend her initiation ceremony, or her Coven Head inauguration.

Raine was too close to Eda for Lilith to speak to them without being consumed with guilt. Still, she found that they crossed her mind every time she saw a particularly proficient bard—anyone with enough passion to remind her of the witch who had practically become a second younger sibling. Did they miss her as much as she missed them?

Perry had been one of her favorite study-buddies, but between their respective careers, they were too busy to meet up. Still, she watched his news channel whenever she had the chance.

Odalia and Alador had cut everyone off for reasons she neither knew nor understood. Darius was far more bitter about the situation, but he refused to speak on it. None of them had been invited to the wedding.

Eda and Lilith had not been in the same room for several years. Lilith could not tell whether that choice had been for the best.

But despite everything, she still had Darius by her side. They rose through the ranks together, just like how Lilith had once imagined doing with Eda.

And then Darius stopped talking to her.

She was truly alone.

Lilith had given up her friends, her family, her life—and for what? Her wasted potential?

She had taken a gamble and lost, and now she was forever in the debt of karma.

Failure.

“Sorry…” she forced out. She was not entirely sure why she was apologizing.

“What for?”

Her heart thumped in her chest. The room was spinning slowly. You need to answer. What did you do wrong this time?

“Wasting your time?”

Darius sighed, sending a spike of fear and shame through her body. It was entirely pathetic—how had she even managed to claw her way into becoming a Coven Head?

It should have been Eda.

She was such a promising young witch, but Eda was more than just promising. Eda was powerful.

And I was jealous of her, so I ruined her life.

How long before she managed to disappoint the Emperor, too? How long before he stopped giving her chances, and threw her out of the coven, and—

“Honestly, Lilith,” Darius chided, snapping her back from her thoughts. He crossed his arms. “You need to prioritize yourself more often. Do you think the Emperor wants you wasting away like this?”

He should be disappointed in me.

The words sent another wave of shame through her. She wrapped her arms around her shaking torso. Perhaps if she had been in a normal state of mind, she would have been able to better conceal her reaction.

But as it was, she was exhausted and running on fumes, so she averted her eyes and fought the urge to break down.

The clock ticked.

Darius sighed. He set the forgotten chair upright and guided her to sit down, the gentleness of his hands at odds with the annoyed look on his face. “Wait here,” he instructed before vanishing through the door.

Not entirely sure what was happening, Lilith seized the opportunity of solitude and turned back to the pile of paperwork on her desk. However, she quickly found she could not actually bring herself to work. Her hands were unnaturally heavy, as though there were weights strapped to her limbs. The papers fuzzed so greatly in her vision, she might as well have been reading them underwater—and what little she could make out, she simply could not process. Her teeth were chattering badly, not at all helping matters.

I have to work.

Her eyes burned.

I can’t—

“Am I going to return to an imminent crisis every time I leave you alone?”

Startled, Lilith jerked her head upward. Somehow, Darius had already returned and was towering over her, holding out….

Was that a coven scout mask?

She stared, uncomprehending, until Darius rolled his eyes. “Put the mask on,” he instructed, speaking slowly as though she was stupid. “On the off chance that we run into someone, they’ll think I’m escorting an overworked coven scout back to their quarters. No one will know it’s you.”

Oh. Lilith blinked, trying to wrap her mind around his claim.

“Put the mask on,” she echoed blankly, accepting the cold metal with shaking hands and pressing it to her face. Tired as she was, she was still capable of following a direct order.

Her face tingled slightly as the enchantment adhered the mask to her skin, holding the it in place as Darius lifted her easily into his arms. Lilith yelped in an undignified manner, disoriented by the sudden motion. Her vision briefly spotted out.

She could practically feel Darius rolling his eyes as he carried her out of the room, using a small spell circle to shut off the lights and close the door behind him. “Later, you and I need to have a long discussion,” he said as they made their way through the halls. Lilith suddenly understood why he had insisted she wear a mask, and weak gratitude filled her chest. How oddly…kind of him. “Especially about your complete lack of care toward yourself and your health.”

Yourself and your health.

Lilith frowned slightly behind her mask. Why did that matter?

She had outlived her use. She had once been such a promising young witch.

And now she had failed.

She should have let herself lose, all those years ago.

She wanted Eda here with her.

But it was her own fault that her sister was alone, living in the woods with neither support nor family.

Her self-control slipped and her breath caught slightly, a sharp pain lancing through her chest.

Darius clicked his tongue again. “Titan—you’re so tired, you’re shaking,” he said, his tone filled with disapproval and only loud enough for her to hear. “Lilith, this isn’t healthy.”

I can sleep when I’m worthy of it, she thought but did not say. Her lips were practically glued shut, and Darius already seemed unhappy enough.

Her thoughts were yanked back into her body as Darius stopped short, and Lilith realized that they had somehow already reached her room. She could not understand how he managed to unlock and open her door without placing her down, but the next thing she knew, he was setting her on her bed and locking the door behind him. She bit her lip and let her chin fall into her hands, watching him move through blurred vision.

He still had the key she had once given him.

It should not have surprised her. The key to his room was hidden at the back of her closet, in a box that also contained her Hexside yearbook and old photo album. Despite everything, she just…could not bring herself to get rid of it.

“All right,” Darius muttered to himself as he stepped over to her dresser. “I hope you have clean pajamas to wear.”

Lilith blinked, barely understanding what was happening and wanting nothing more than to fall back onto her bed and sleep—but no, she had more work to do. And she was still shaking—

“Lilith.”

“What?” Her voice was strange, even to her own ears. She might as well have been underwater.

“Your pajamas, Lilith. Do you have a preference?” There was the sound of a drawer opening and closing—wait, when had she closed her eyes? “And take off the mask. You don’t need it anymore.”

Robotically, she lifted a hand to her face and removed the coven scout mask, flinching as it landed on the floor with an audible thud. Her hands fell into her lap and swam before her eyes, mind dull and barely processing her surroundings.

I can’t do this.

Her face was hot. Her throat burned. She could not stop trembling—

“I swear—Lilith, you cannot keep going like this.” Rustling. “You’re going to kill yourself at this rate, and I can’t—”

Darius cut himself off.

Her blood ran cold.

What did I do wrong what did I do wrong what did—

Footsteps hurried as they approached the bed. Lilith became aware of her position—hunched over with her hands now covering her eyes, elbows propped up on her knees. Her hands felt slimy where they touched her face.

“Shit.” Darius spoke unusually softly, his voice filled with concern that Lilith had not heard from anyone in…so long. “What’s wrong?”

The bed dipped slightly as Darius took a seat beside her. His hands were gentle as they pulled her close, warmth all but bleeding through her clothes and somehow making her tremble harder. He let her keep her hands up by her face as she leaned into his chest.

Lilith shrugged loosely, her tongue like lead in her throat.

He shifted her in his grasp, one hand running up and down her back and the other remaining tight around her shoulders. “You’re…” He paused, and Lilith was suddenly struck by dread. “You’re crying.”

What?

Her hands were wet.

She was crying. She was crying in front of someone else, which she had not done since she was a child.

Worse, it was Darius.

Darius, who had once been her best friend.

Who had been the only person by her side as she moved up the ranks of her coven.

Who had laughed with her after her initiation ceremony, and brought her food and water after hard missions.

Who had fallen quickly in love with the Golden Guard, and even more quickly into grief when he was gone.

Who had brushed Lilith off just before everything went wrong, and had stopped answering her calls and messages.

Who now never spoke to her without the clipped tone he used for all the coven heads.

Who, just like her parents, had all but thrown her away.

She wanted to tear herself away and shove him out of the room. She wanted to pull him close and never let him go.

She wanted to fall back asleep and never wake up, because Titan, she could not keep doing this.

Her lungs burned. “I—I c-can’t—I can’t be—”

“Lilith, it’s okay.” His voice was so soft, she wanted to scream.

Lilith could not understand what was happening—why Darius cared, why she was not moving, why her mind was so hazy, why she could not feel her hands or feet or stop fucking shaking—

“I n-n-need to—”

She had to get back to work and be productive and good, or else Belos would—

A gasping sob tore past her lips, and Lilith could no longer hide from the reality of it. She was falling apart like—like a fucking child, and—

I just want to sleep.

I just want to die.

She ducked her head lower, fists moving up to clench in her hair. Darius could not see her face, but he somehow hugged her tighter, hooking his chin over her head. “No. You need to rest, Lilith,” he told her quietly. Solemnly. “You need to eat. You need to—need to stop hurting yourself like this.” His voice was starting to sound just as…wrong as her own. Did she do that?

Maybe that should be her new life philosophy. She needed to stop messing up.

Her head was pounding. Tears stung dry skin as they fell. Lilith just wanted it to stop.

She was supposed to be better than this. The Emperor himself had chosen her.

The Emperor made a mistake.

I just want to be good again.

Breathing was hard. She found herself shaking once more—or had she never stopped?

I can’t do this I can’t do this I can’t do this—

“Lilith, please—” Darius was not supposed to sound so desperate. Lilith could not see his face, or anything else—when had her eyes slipped shut?

Titan, she was so tired.

She could not keep doing this. Not anymore.

I don’t want to live like this.

I have to keep going.

I don’t want to keep going.

She was supposed to be better than this.

I just want to die.

Lilith never knew it was possible to be so exhausted with life—so tired that the thought of waking up in the morning was agony. She never knew what her future had in store for her.

Darius was still talking to her, but Lilith could barely understand what he was saying. Fog clouded her mind and muffled her thoughts. Her breathing still hurt. She did not want to be awake anymore—she just wanted to be away.

How would her younger self view her now? Curled into Darius, crying like an overtired child—they had not been so close in so long.

Briefly, an image flashed in her head—two teenagers hiding in the back corner of the library. They shared so many secrets between those shelves. Darius shared his feelings for Alador, Lilith shared her lack of romantic interest in anyone, and both of them shared their fears and hopes for their futures in their covens. Although they would never admit it to anyone else, they made whispered promises to remain in contact, no matter what happened to the rest of their friends. No matter what their futures held.

And here they were now.

No one else was with them.

They never shared secrets anymore.

A hand on her face snapped her from her stupor and sent a shot of panic down her spine. She had no time to react before Darius pulled away slightly. Lilith blinked through blurry vision, mortified as Darius searched her face, even as tears were still slipping past her lashes.

“Lilith, breathe.”

She tried to listen to him. She tried to catch her breath. He set his hand on her shoulder, one arm still wrapped around her. His expression was dark enough to twist her stomach.

“Listen to me,” he said, quiet and deadly serious. Her teeth chattered and she hugged herself tightly but nodded, biting her lip to stifle her sobs.

It was only when she met his eyes that he continued. “You spent years working for this position. You studied. You trained. And you earned your spot, because the Emperor decided you were worthy.”

No—I got this position because I cursed my own sister.

Even Darius sounded bitter when he spoke, like he was agreeing with her without even knowing.

“But,” he continued, snapping her back to the present. “You…are still just one person.” He paused and cleared his throat, averting his eyes. She fought the urge to rub her own. “You need food, and hygiene, and rest. Taking time for those things isn’t a failure on your part.”

But that wasn’t—

She wasn’t—

He didn’t—

“You don’t get it!” she finally spit out with surprising force. “I—I was s-s-supposed to be better than this—I-I-I’m failing at—at my work, and no matter h-how much time I spend, I’m still just—just—”

I was such a promising young witch.

I had potential.

Now, I am nothing.

I just want to die.

She felt, more than saw, Darius stiffen.

“I…didn’t realize how bad things were,” he said quietly. She was not even sure whether she heard him correctly, but guilt bubbled up inside her nonetheless.

Just another way I fucked up.

The clock ticked on.

Finally, Darius sighed and pulled her back against him. “It’s late, and you’re too tired to understand what I’m saying. You might not even remember this conversation in the morning.”

Screwup.

“Just…get some rest. Please?”

Her head throbbed as cold abomination matter surrounded her, and she was surprised to find the scratchy fabric of her uniform replaced with soft pajamas that she had not worn in…a long time. Warm hands moved her into a reclining position and pulled heavy blankets over her, alleviating the worst of her trembling. Her breathing was heavy but steady, tears slowing as exhaustion took over.

Every sense filled with static, and Lilith realized with distant alarm that she was falling asleep.

But she did not even have the energy to feel ashamed—just a faint pulse of relief.

I can’t do this anymore.

A hand swept the hair away from her forehead, but she was already out.

~~~

Darius let out a heavy sigh as he stepped away, watching Lilith settle into an uneasy sleep. For a moment, he could do nothing more than listen to her heavy breathing soften. Not for the first time, guilt simmered inside him like an open flame.

He and Lilith had been friends. Best friends. They stood by one another as they rose through the ranks.

And then Jasper died.

Darius had never intended to abandon Lilith. But her blind loyalty to Belos put him off, first as he questioned the Emperor and later as the deep chasm of resentment tore open inside him. Lilith continued to obey Belos like a dog trailing after its master, and the idea of someone worshiping that awful man filled him with rage.

It was easier to brush her off. He never actually meant to hurt her.

His intentions did not matter here.

“I just want to die.”

Had she even realized she was talking aloud?

Watching the tears drying on her cheeks, Darius swore to do better. Even if Lilith kneeled before Belos and all but kissed his feet, he would do better. He would be kinder.

Tearing himself away from her bedside, he made his way to the door and threw her one last regretful glance.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “Get some rest, Lilith. Please.”

~~~

A/N: After four months, this is finally complete.

Also—if you are reading this between midnight and six in the morning, take the advice from Darius and go to sleep.

#nightshade writes #such a promising young witch #the owl house #lilith clawthorne #darius deamonne #platonic darius x lilith #pre canon #angst #hurt/comfort #exhaustion #friendship #late night conversations #sleep deprivation #anxiety attacks #dissociation #self hatred #suicide #suicidal thoughts #author is sleep deprived

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myreygn · 7 months

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tkltober day 1: Anticipation

The Owl House - ler!Willow, lee!Gus

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♫·¯·♪¸¸♩·¯·♬¸¸

Two days, four hours, twenty-one minutes and six seconds. Seven. Eight. Nine. Gus couldn’t do this anymore. Screw his pride. If Willow wasn’t going to follow up on her threat, he’d have to surrender, no matter how much he didn’t like it.

“Uh, Willow?”

The smirk she had on her face when she turned around to him made him regret caving in immediately. Actually, it made him regret everything. Pranking Willow. Making the bet with Luz that he could easily prank Willow. Becoming friends with either of them in the first place- no, that was too harsh. Still. The point of him being remorseful stood. Maybe Willow would go easy on him if he told her just that…

“Yes, Gus?~”

There was no way she was gonna go easy on him. This was gonna be terrible. “Uh… so… about the thing with the… with the…”

“The thing with the alarm clock that disappeared every time I tried to turn it off? Yes, Gus, I remember that thing.”

“Okay, and the thing with… you know, the thing...”

“Sorry, you’ll need to be very specific.”

Gus swallowed thickly. Emperor Belos who? Mustering up the courage for this was way harder than the preparation for any fight they had ever fought!

“So you also remember the, uh, threat you made, right?”

“Hm, not really, you’ll need to remind me.”

Here goes nothing. “The threat that you would… tickle the daylights out of me…?”

“Oh, that.” The grin spreading across Willowʼs face was nothing short of diabolical. “And what about it?”

Gus felt a vine sneak around his ankle, making an escape impossible. Not that he would’ve escaped in the first place; if she wouldn’t get it over with soon, he would go insane. Bracing himself for what was to come, he gathered whatever was left of his courage to look her in the eye. “Bring it on.”

“Bring what on?”

“For Titan’s sake, Willow, could you just finally t-tickle me- NAHAHAHA!”

“There it is!” She had tackled him to the ground with the speed and experience of a soon-to-be elite flyer derby player and her fingers were scribbling all over his belly and sides, grinning down on him as he squealed beneath her. “I gotta say I’m impressed though, I didn’t think you would hold out for two whole days.”

“STAHAHAHAP TEHEHEHEASING MEHEHE!”

“No, I don’t think I will.” A vine pulled his arm to the side and Gus shrieked when her fingers found his ribs. “That’s what you get for pranking me, Porter!”

“IHIT WAHAHAS- GAHAHAH WAIHAIT! LUHUHUZ TOHOHOHOLD MEHEHE TOHOO!”

“Oh, I know.” Willow smirked, not ceasing her attack for even a second. “It’ll be her turn next week.”

#rey writes #augtickletober2023 #tickletober #tkltober #the owl house #toh #willow park #augustus porter #ler!willow #lee!gus #ticklish!gus

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the-blind-paladin · 1 year

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My little light part 4

It took Luz a few minutes to find clean clothes and prepare for the shower properly. Setting up the shower and getting undressed was the easy part however once relaxed enough by the warm water she found her next obstacle. Which bottle was body wash, conditioner or shampoo? After switching between them she ended up using all three on both her body and hair unable to be certain which was which. Bodywash in her hair wouldn't be too horrible and using shampoo and conditioner on her body also wouldn't be world-ending. Yet it did leave a slightly bitter taste in her mouth that she couldn't tell. After her shower and getting dry, she had to be careful not to put the same clothes back on and negate the whole idea of having a shower. Putting them in her dirty laundry she slowly made her way back downstairs.

Everything almost felt unnecessarily harder, she knew sight was important but having relied on it for so long it felt horrible not being able to use it. She knew she just had to trust that the goo would at least restore part of her vision even if it was blotchy and blurry she could get some powerful glasses or something. Even if her vision was never the same she started not to care anymore. Making it back to her spot in the kitchen she decided to rest her head on the table. Unsure what she should do or say. She soon felt Eda ruffle her hair while sitting nearby.

"I'm going to put more of that gunk over your eyes" She could hear Eda messing with it as she nodded.

"Okay, and in a few days I'll hopefully have at least some of my vision back" She smiled optimistically yet when Eda didn't immediately reply she realized that it was more likely not going to help. Not if it hadn't already healed partly.

"Hopefully, that's the idea" She felt Eda ruffle her hair. Closing her eyes she let Eda apply more of the goop around her eyes and head while bandaging it back up. "I ended up actually putting some of that strong healing stuff in it as well so if you get side effects from it tell me and I'll redo it."

"I thought the magic in it was too strong?" She felt curious about this change of idea.

"It is by itself but hopefully the other stuff helped dilute it enough it shouldn't be too strong." Eda seemed to have finished up as she heard Eda by the sink.

"If I'm still on bed rest does that mean I won't be able to go to school tomorrow?"

"If you really want to go I'll check on you in the morning and fly you. However, you'll probably have to stick around your friends for obvious reasons." She knew Eda meant so she wouldn't get lost or fell downstairs or something equally embarrassing and stupid.

"I'm sure Willow, Gus and Amity would love having my company all day," she thought about if she had friends in the other tracks. Viney was in beast keeping and healing but like Edric, she was in a different class... Skara was in Bard at least. Plants, abomination, illusion and bard. Not the best but also not the worst tracks not that there were worst tracks just more was better.

"Then we'll see how you feel in the morning" She felt Eda rub her hair while leaving the kitchen with probably apple blood Luz couldn't be sure. Unsure what to do she got up and headed upstairs before feeling around. Finding a good stick she got an idea as she used it to get downstairs a little faster and headed into the lounge.

"And where are you going?" Hearing Eda she smiled.

"Just a small walk, I've been cooped up inside all weekend" a pause, maybe she should've tried sneaking out?

"Fine, but take Owlbert in case you get lost."

"Sure, but I'm not going to get lost" She felt the palisman land on her shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah, sure" She rolled her eyes at Eda's reply and headed outside. Using her stick she started to walk around the nearby woods, enjoying the feeling of sunlight and shade from the trees. As she walked around nothing much really happened before she found a nice rock she used for navigation originally and laid on it. The warm sun felt much nicer than hanging around her room or inside and the warm rock helped warm her up. After a while, she felt Owlbert try and pull her sleeve to the owl house.

"Five more minutes~" Luz half-joked before feeling Owlbert nip her finger. "Okay, okay, let's head back" She followed Owlberts lead before noticing him trying to lead her to the back of the Owl house rather than the front. Ignoring him once she realized this she snuck closer to the front hearing Hooty on the attack. Doing her best to stay hidden not actually wanting to join in on the fighting she listed to Hooty kick butt. When she felt Owlbert pull on her hood she followed the palisman back inside while thinking.

"hey, Luz it's good you're back I was about to go look for you actually"

"It sounds like Hooty is having a fun time beating up coven goons" Luz smiled thinking about what it might look like seeing Hooty attacking guards. It wasn't the hardest thing to picture.

"I don't think you should walk around the woods alone with the guards around like they appear to be. I didn't expect them to be this many roaming around" Luz paused hearing that.

"So I should stay inside or?"

"Just around the owl house until there are fewer guards around"

Nodding she made her way upstairs. "I'm going to go rest in my room for a little bit" She smiled the best she could before making her way to her room unsure how to feel. It wasn't like walking around the woods was her favourite thing but it also wasn't like she could actually do what she enjoyed doing.

Laying on her sleeping bag she looked up at the ceiling despite not actually being able to see it as her mind wandered around. Both how she was going to fix the door if she couldn't see the clues in front of her, to how she would even explain it to her mama. A realm full of demons and magic was intense but being blinded by it wasn't going to be a good selling point. Groaning she rolled over as her mind kept winding around itself like a ball of yarn that only tightened the more you tugged at it. Eventually, she heard a soft knock on her door as she sat up.

"Yeah?"

"Eda told me to get you for dinner" she heard King from the doorway before hearing him run off probably to go eat his dinner. Getting up she made her way downstairs while thinking about how long she had actually been on the rock sunbathing or if she had taken a nap while in her sleeping bag without realizing it. Taking her spot at the table she smiled happily when she heard Eda put a plate in front of her.

"Thanks, Eda smells good" she smiled happily before starting to dig in happily.

"Good, I'd be worried if it smelt bad" Eda seemed to joke back making her giggle softly as she kept digging in. The only weird part was figuring out which bit of the plate was what and how much of what she had. However, it wasn't too hard when all of it was stuff she liked to eat and could eat. When she was finished eating she heard Eda take her plate away while smiling more at her.

"Thank Eda, I might go to bed early so I can get up early enough for school" she

"determined to go to school tomorrow huh?"

"No point in hanging around the owl house all day every day when I could hang around my friends and try and learn more about magic" Luz smiled happily. Having the second thought about getting used to walking around without sight although she still tried to hope that the goop just needed some more time. It had to just need more time, that was all it needed.

"Okay, I'll wake you up for school but if you're tired don't force yourself to go. It's better to get as much bed rest as you can" She nodded at Eda while getting up and heading to her bedroom.

making it to her bedroom she found her sleeping bag and laid down. Thinking she wondered if bed rest would actually help at that point. It didn't feel like her body was trying to heal she just felt like she was laying around doing nothing. Even her face had stopped hurting altogether. Staring into the void she sighed before rolling over and trying to fall asleep.

When she woke up she could almost sense someone nearby. Sitting up she jumped a bit when she felt a palisman land on top of her head.

"Lil Rascal?" hearing the chirp she smiled more raising her hand up to pet the cardinal.

"How are you feeling?" she smiled towards Hunter's voice.

"A lot better actually" She sat up a bit more to give the boy enough room to sit on her sleeping bag if he wanted to not that it felt like he accepted it. "Eda ended up using some of the healing stuff you left last time when she changed the bandages. However, she did say it by itself would have been too strong"

"what was it like when she changed the bandages? like when they were off could you see anything?" hearing Hunter sound hesitant she wanted to say that, 'Yes, I could see perfectly well' yet she also didn't want to lie to him.

"I still couldn't see anything but maybe it just needs more time to work" Even saying it she felt like it wasn't true like it would've helped somewhat already.

"And your sure it's not ...permanent?" she felt Hunter gently cup her cheek as she rested her head in his hand.

"I- I don't know if it will be or not. However, I can choose to keep hoping it's not until it's proven one way or another. I doubt Eda would waste ingredients if she didn't think there was at least a chance"

"How are you always so upbeat and happy?" she couldn't help but giggle a bit at his question. "what?"

"I don't know how, I guess I just try my best to see the bright side of situations." 'and avoid thinking about all the negative things like how I'll get home.' she mentally added. When she felt Hunter move his hand she carefully grabbed it gently putting it back on her cheek. Something about the gentle touch made her feel warm and calmer. Her mind went back to what Eda had said about having a crush on Hunter.

"Is there anything I could do to help?" closing her eyes she smiled towards Hunter.

"Stay here as long as you can" Having the feeling Belos wouldn't be happy if he found out about these night meetings she didn't want to risk him getting in trouble but something about having him there felt nice. Part of her felt like she shouldn't feel this way, he was the reason she couldn't see she should hate him. That was how that was supposed to work, right?

"I'll stay here as long as you need me to" Hearing that she hesitated before carefully following his arm so she could hug him, feeling him tense up before hugging her back. "would you like to read more of that ridiculous book?" she couldn't help but giggle hearing it confirmed he didn't like it.

"You don't have to. Why don't you read me a story you like?" she felt him gently move them so they were laying down.

"I think I might be able to recall an old story I occasionally got Darius to read me as a bedtime story." she cuddled into him while smiling at him.

"Yeah?" she started to settle down as Hunter started to tell what definitely sounded like a boiling Isles bedtime story as it started with a whole village of witches bullying a large demon. He went into description about how the scaly creature was large, heavy and able to absorb any spell any witch could cast. The creature however was slow, so slow young witches could run across its tail and climb on top of its back while poking and pulling at its eyes, ears, scales and whatever they could grab onto. Despite it being bullied by witches, it was also bullied by the other demons for being passive towards the very witches that hunt their kind down. While everyone was scared of it they still would attack and jeer at the demon knowing it wouldn't do anything as it neither belonged with the other demons nor witches. As he went on about how the witches would poke it and jab at it she started to feel bad for the demon not that she was entirely sure that was the point yet. As the story went on Hunter spoke about how the demon soon came up with a plan to go to the king of demons it begged for a new body. However, its request was denied as it was a large tank and could handle the jabs from the witches. Unable to get help from the King it headed off. On the way back it ran into a small crying witch, finding out they were lost the demon returned them to town. For the first time instead of fear and hate it received gratitude from the witch's family for returning their lost child in the form of fruits. It soon returned to the woods roaming around, sniffing out lost and injured witches. For if it comes across a lost witch it will offer them a ride on its smooth back offering them a ride back to the nearest town. As it stands to that day its kind is still out there roaming the Titan looking for lost witches to return home, for it's the only thing that seemed to give the demon the gratitude it desperately desired from those around it. Listening she stayed cuddled up into Hunter as she thought about what it would be like to be attacked by both witches and demons.

"So the demon was a misfit who fit in by helping those around it?" She could hear Hunter humming softly.

"They usually have the moral spelled out at the end but Darius never told me the moral. I always assumed it was to always help those who need it even if their kind has wronged you in the past."

"Because nobody should suffer for what someone else did?" Luz smiled happily

"I guess so, I never really thought about the morals of the story. It could even just be to explain why there's a kind of demon that goes around rescuing lost witches" She felt Hunter shrug.

"Wait that's an actual species of demon?"

"yeah, but it's not as magic proof as the story says. However, it is really hard to take them down not that you'd want to. Ya know since they're peaceful." she nodded softly unable to think about why someone would attack a passive creature that only helped others.

"I think I'd like to meet one" She smiled warmly thinking about the idea of meeting a large friendly demon.

"I don't think you do, since they help lost witches and that would mean you'd have to be lost on the Isles and there's always the chance it won't be the first demon to find you." she could feel Hunter tense up a bit as she thought about it.

"I'm not going to purposely get myself lost to meet a demon" she reassured him while cuddling into him more so she could bury her face into him, feeling him tense up almost more. Before she could wonder if she was being too cuddly she felt him gently rub her back.

"Good, because then you'd be the idiot instead of me" she tried not to laugh.

"You're not an idiot, you're actually really smart about a lot of different things"

"I've been acting like one" She buried her face into him.

"Have you now?" she tried to tease gently.

"for starters, I might have permanently hurt the first person outside the castle who actually seemed to somewhat care about me, then there's sneaking out every night which will become pretty obvious soon, I stole from the head of the healing coven which probably pissed her off, I couldn't do my one job in bringing in a certain human and witch because... I don't even know why... why do you seem happy when I visit despite what happened? why don't you hate me? you should hate my guts" Listening she didn't have to see to know there were probably tears at the corner of his eyes even if he'd deny it. Why didn't she hate him?

"I don't hate you because I know you never meant to hurt me. If you meant to hurt me you would've done it when we first started fighting each other. Having you visit only confirmed you felt bad meaning it wasn't on propose-"

"of course it wasn't I would've rather blinded myself than hurt you" Hearing that she paused for a second before shaking her head.

"I'm safe here, how safe would you be if you went blind?" she could feel him flinch as she stayed where she was. Something about Belos made her believe if Hunter wasn't useful to him he would've hurt him or worse.

"I'd probably have to learn how to fight while blind" That got her thinking. She had seen shows with superheroes who fought blind maybe she could actually learn how to do that.

"That's a good idea maybe I could learn how to fight blind" She felt Hunter rub her back.

"I don't think you should prioritize fighting first" There seemed to be a soft smile behind his voice.

"true I'd have to learn how to get around more comfortably first, maybe you could even help me learn how to fly palisman while blind" She had the soft doubt she'd be able to fly blind but maybe if Lil Rascal or Owlbert took main control of where they flew while she focused on not falling off it could work. "either way I'm going to hold out hope that the goop just needs more time to work. Maybe I'll end up with big ol' glasses"

"I think glasses would like nice on you" She tried not to blush while smiling more.

"That's good, I'm glad you think I could pull off glasses"

"You should get some sleep and I should probably head back before someone notices I'm gone again" Hunter didn't sound like he wanted to go but she nodded.

"Yeah, I have school tomorrow"

"then you should definitely be asleep, it's nearly midnight" She felt Hunter move to get up and paused for a second before deciding to kiss the back of his hand since kissing his cheek felt like it would be a bit too sudden for the blond-haired boy.

"I- uhh good night" She felt him hesitantly kiss the back of her hand back.

"good night Hunter" she felt Lil Rascal move from her head before cuddling up in her sleeping bag blushing deeply as she thought about the fact she had kissed the back of his hand. It wasn't super romantic or the most dramatic but she had still done it and it still left her blushing like she had kissed hi- no she was not going to die of blushing thinking about that. Laying in bed it hit her like a brick, she did have a crush on Hunter. //If you like this story you can find the story up until chapter 8 here My little light - Lunter_Lumity - The Owl House (Cartoon) [Archive of Our Own]

#lunter #the owl house #luz x hunter #goldenluz #goldenlight #hunter x luz #huntceda #luz x golden guard #My little light

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twinsunstars · 1 year

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The Owl House Effect

(SPOILERS AHEAD FOR ANYONE WHO HAS NOT WATCHED THE FINALE FULLY YET!)

The Owl House finale premiered on April 9, 2023 on Disney Channel and Disney Channel’s YouTube channel, officially bringing the beloved animation to a close. Titled “Watching and Dreaming”, the creators (and the characters) bid farewell to fans with a heartwarming ending. We all definitely sobbed at the end.

In the finale, we got answers to the Collector’s past, revealing that they’re just a kid who was sent down to the Boiling Isles by their brothers and befriended Titans, but once the race began dying, the Collector was then seen as an enemy, but it was all just a big misunderstanding. Luz, who reunites with Eda and King, helps the Collector understand how to be kind and make friends. Belos, who continued to posess Raine (who eventually broke out of their trance and got Belos out of them), tries to stop Belos from possessing a giant TITAN’S HEART, but it’s too late. Once Belos takes over the Titan, the Boiling Isles starts to become covered by him. Amity, Gus, Willow, Hunter, and Camila eventually get themselves out of their puppet trances and work to stop whatever Belos was doing to the Isles from spreading, and with Luz nearly dying and meeting the Titan-King’s dad-himself, she gets powerful magic flowing inside her, leading her to beat Belos for good. As years pass, the Boiling Isles has rebuilt itself, and before Luz heads off to the University of Wild Magic, everyone spends a good time together to celebrate Luz’s very late quinceañera.

Back in 2020, fans were introduced to the magical and haunting world of the Boiling Isles, following a young teenage Latina protagonist and human, Luz Noceda. Meeting Eda Clawthorne, the Owl Lady, and living in the Owl House with her, Luz learns many things along the journey-how to perform magic with glyphs, how to maintain her friendships, and discovering who she wants to truly be. The show was a success to many fans, as the characters were completely relatable and worthy of admiration.

When Season 3 was getting announced, fans were pissed to the bone when it was discovered that Season 3 was only going to be 3 episodes, cutting off so many details that could have been further explored if a whole season was done (giving a big side eye to you, Disney). The show’s creator, Dana Terrace, continued to let fans know that all their love is appreciated, and fans promoted the show as much as they could, making fanart, writing fanfics, and so much more.

As the years pass, many of the characters get new looks, but are still the same people. Vee got a nose ring, Willow cut her hair shorter, Eda grew her hair out again, Gus got a new hair look (and I love it!), and King got a bit taller. Since he’s a Titan, there’s a long way of growing for this little guy.

Also, Hunter has a new palisman, and it’s named Waffles! How adorable is that! I love how Willow and Hunter made a grave for Flapjack, *sobs harder*.

There are many theories that surrounded the show, and the number drastically increased when it came to the short Season 3. Fans began to think about the story surrounding Caleb Wittebane, Belo’s (Phillip’s) brother, and a witch named Evelyn. Fans believe that she was a Clawthorne like Eda and Lillith (and King, even though he is adopted), and there are clues that match every character’s design, as fans continue to try and connect the dots. We only know the story Masha had told the crew during “Thanks to Them”, but there was certainly more to be discovered. Regarding the theory that the entire show was just a dream Luz was having, we’re thankful that this was truly all real.

This was also a good ending for all Lumity and Huntlow shippers. We got to see Amity and Luz share a kiss, and another on the cheek towards the ending, and we love to see the representation. Hunter and Willow meet and hold hands, which implies that they are most likely together now (hopefully).

As a bisexual myself, I admired the representation this show gave to all the LGBTQ+ fans out there. When Luz came out to her mom, I was so proud of her. Many unfortunately do not have that much support that Camila gave Luz, but this show is there for LGBTQ+ fans to be welcome and appreciated.

Now, fans will continue to display The Owl House in their own ways on social media and everywhere else, letting the show live on. It’s crazy how the show is officially over, but it is never over in our hearts. Keep on rewatching it as many times as you want, and show others that The Owl House was worthy of it’s success!

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el-michoacano · 1 year

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tigre enjaulado

I'm not sure exactly when this one happens, but these little deleted scenes are my favorite thing to write! Also this is my first time writing Gus or Mike, but man, Gus is actually really, really fun for me? I might have to give him a fic of his own! 🖤

READ ON AO3

Nacho had never seen Los Pollos Hermanos empty before. It was long after closing time, the registers silent, the friers cool. It felt unnatural.

Mike was with him, leading him through the empty lobby and back to Fring's office.

It was dark behind the counter, and eerily silent. It had the hairs on the back of Nacho's neck rising to attention. He trusted Mike by now, but this felt like an ambush. He had his gun tucked away, but he prayed he wouldn't need it. His hands were twitching with the need to grab it.

Mike pushed the door open, and Nacho tensed.

There was Fring. He was on his feet, pacing back and forth in the space, looking strangely like a caged tiger. He said, his voice low and soft, more a purr than a growl, "Gentleman."

The office was dim, too, lit only by the glow of the laptop on the desk and the sickly light coming in through the space's only window.

Mike took a seat in the chair on the outside of the desk, grunting as he did.

Nacho, though, stood, his feet spread, his hands joined in front of him, the standard pose of those in his line of work. It had become weirdly comfortable.

"You're afraid of him, aren't you?" Fring was openly watching Nacho as he spoke. He had his hands clasped behind his back as he paced, the heels of his shoes clicking against the tiled floor. Each step brought up the aroma of fried chicken. The air was thick with it.

He meant Lalo, and Nacho tried not to react. "No," he replied. It wasn't exactly true.

Mike shot him a disapproving look. The old man could read him like a book. It was at once comforting and thoroughly irritating. It reminded Nacho of his papá in a way he wasn't ready to address.

Fring looked as doubtful as Mike did. He raised a brow, though his face was blank. He stilled his pacing and asked, "Oh?"

It felt like a test. Keenly aware of the fact that Mike was watching him, too, Nacho shrugged weakly. He said, "I've seen worse." That, at least, was true. Lalo was more irritating than dangerous, as far as Nacho knew. He wasn't a man-eating monster like Tuco. He was a tiger, not caged like Gus, but too content to do much himself. He had killed the kid at the TravelWire, yeah, but Nacho was no saint himself. They were more alike than he was comfortable admitting. Maybe Nacho was a tiger, too, albeit a toothless one kept on a leash.

Fring's voice pulled him from his thoughts, asking, "And does he trust you?"

That was a test, too.

Nacho wasn't quite sure how to answer. "I don't think so." He quickly amended, "Not yet." He still wasn't exactly clear on how to get Lalo to trust him, either. The thought of seduction was there, but Nacho wasn't a seducer. He was too quiet for that, too reserved, too lost in his own mind. He was afraid of Lalo mostly because he was afraid of falling for him. Lalo was the seducer of the two of them, and Nacho wasn't immune to his charm. Fring didn't need to know that. Nacho said, "I'm working on it."

Fring gave him a sharp, cold look, like a blade made human, like a tiger ready to pounce. He said, "Work harder."

#nacho varga #gus fring #gustavo fring #mike ehrmantraut #better call saul #bcs #my bcs

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dawnseternallight · 1 year

Text

Wrapped in a Sunbeam

Please enjoy some post Thanks to Them hurt/comfort as a result of Hunter and Luz siblings living rent free in my brain. Ever since I saw the episode I haven't been able to stop thinking about Luz reacting more fully to Belos being The Worst and taunting her over Hunter. So I decided to explore that a bit.

AO3 Link

“What? Afraid you’ll hurt him?”

Blue eyes glimmered where there should be magenta and a once gentle mouth quirked up into a harsh smirk. His voice twisted, layered , Belos and Hunters.

Luz felt heat prick at the corners of her eyes, and Flapjack’s little talons pressed into her shoulder through the layers of costume. As anxious as she was.

Hunter’s–no Belos’ smile turned a little sharper, “You already have, you know.”

“No.” Luz’s voice was firm, grip on her glyphs tight, “You’re lying.”

‘That’s what Belos does’ , a familiar voice whispered in her ears, ‘He tricks people.’

Belos chuckled, “Oh but I’m not. This–” he held his arms out, painted green with the same sludge that covered Belos in his monstrous form, “Is all your doing. If you’d just stayed with him a little longer, believed him when he’d said I was back well–”

Belos shrugged, smug fire lighting up his eyes, “He wouldn’t be mine.”

“ He doesn’t belong to you.” She ground out, throwing an ice glyph towards him.

He didn’t even have to move, because Luz’s ice was never directed at his body. He was right, of course he was right. She didn’t want to hurt him. She’d never want to hurt him.

“Of course he does.” Belos purred, advancing on her one step at a time, “You didn’t keep your promise to keep him safe.”

“No.” Luz’s voice wavered, and she looked down into her hands, glyphs squished between her palms, “No, I did. I tried–I tried.”

Flapjack squawked a terrified chirp and Luz’s attention shot up as his weight was snatched from her shoulder.

Glowing blue eyes felt an inch from her own, with panicked red struggling in her periphery.

Her body was frozen, locked in place by that icy stare and Flapjack’s panicked chirps. She knew what was coming. She’d seen it a hundred times a hundred ways in a hundred nightmares.

“You should have tried harder.”

Green splashed across her vision and she screamed.

Luz shot up from her cot, a hand flying to her mouth as her heart raced. A dream. It was all a dream. But was it really? Flapjack had died. Belos had–he’d– Hunter .

She tugged her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, biting her bottom lip to stop the sob that was building in her throat. The Belos in her dream wasn’t wrong. It was her fault. She’d let Hunter down.

She squeezed her eyes shut against those five words: “What? Afraid you’ll hurt him?”

Yes. Luz’s heart said. Yes .

Of course. Of course she was afraid to hurt him. What kind of question was that? When asked with that voice . That voice that should be gentle, and kind. That pitched high when its owner was excited, and lost all functionality when he was embarrassed.

That voice that, just a day before everything went south, had cracked with sobs when she’d told him she’d protect him. That he was family.

She pushed herself to her feet and crept through the abandoned house they’d picked to spend the night in. Four flimsy walls to protect them from the chaos outside. She tried not to think about how that was partially her fault too. How other friends and family were in danger because of how she’d helped Belos.

Silently she made her way to the boys room, Hunter and Gus were in makeshift cots much like hers. Both boys were curled up, backs pressed to one another’s protectively. In case they were attacked, they could at least keep the other one safe.

It was more effort than Luz had put into keeping Hunter safe.

She paused at the door, unsure why she’d even had to come in here. Just to see Hunter? To make sure he was really here? And not at the bottom of a lake? Not far too still on a path of ice?

The way he was curled kept Luz from seeing his face, or his chest. Her own heart spiked as worry flooded it. What if he wasn’t breathing again? What if whatever magic Flapjack had done had–failed?

Her feet were moving before her head had time to catch up, and soon she was crouched beside him, eyes catching on the fresh scars littering his face in the dim lighting seeping through the covered windows. Tears welled up in her eyes, as her mind echoed with my fault, my fault. I hurt him.

But here at least she could see the gentle rise and fall of his chest. Hear the way his breath whistled ever so slightly as he inhaled and exhaled from a barely open mouth. He was safe. Breathing. This boy she had thought would always be an enemy. This boy she’d come to see as the brother she’d never imagined she could have. Sweet, gentle, Hunter.

She fell back from her crouch to plop onto the floor proper, chest hitching, as she buried her face into her knees, tugging them close to her for the second time in as many minutes, “I’m sorry.” She whispered, “I promise , I will protect you this time. No matter what.”

She would keep that promise. To him, and everyone else in the Boiling Isles counting on her. She had to. She couldn’t lose anyone else. Couldn’t let anyone else get hurt because of her mistakes.

“Luz?”

She peered up, cheeks going flush as she took in Hunter’s eyes furrowed at her. He’d sat up, and had a hand hovering just over one of her own, still tightly wrapped around her knees.

“Hunter.” her voice was scratchy with tears, and she could do absolutely nothing to hide the fact that she’d been sitting there sobbing over him, which unfortunately only seemed to make the tears run faster.

“Hey,” concern etched his face as his hand touched down on hers at last, slipping past her tight squeeze to hold it fast, “Just breathe for me, okay?”

“I’m sorry.” she hiccuped, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

He hummed, “It’s fine, it wasn’t all that great a sleep anyway.”

Her traitorous mind reminded her that his lack of rest was her fault too. He’d been happy just a few days ago. Gus said he’d been sleeping through the night. Even the ever present bags under his eyes had started to lighten.

She couldn’t bring herself to check to see just how dark they were again.

“Come on, let’s move to another room, alright?”

Hunter helped her up, and together they shuffled out of the room. Hunter gently closed the door behind them so Gus could continue to sleep uninterrupted.

Luz let herself be led to a somewhat beaten up, but surprisingly stable, couch and settled there. A moment later a blanket was tucked over her shoulders. Hunter sat down next to her, and flopped over to lean against her shoulder.

It was warm. Comfortable. If Luz closed her eyes she could pretend they were back home, resting while the others set up a game of Clue or worked on cookies in the kitchen with her mom.

“Want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Hunter’s voice was quiet and gentle.

Luz considered shaking her head and letting the two of them sit there in silence until whatever passed for dawn in The Collector’s messed up world crept up on them. But she couldn’t do that. Not to Hunter. Not to the boy who had known her darkest secret as long as she’d known his. They were knit together the two of them, with intertwining needles of trauma and love.

“I’m sorry.” She said, “I let him hurt you.”

The words tumbled from her mouth before he could get a breath, let alone a word, in, “I promised we’d keep you safe, and I let him hurt you. Even after you told me he was back. After you confided in me. I brushed it off and when I finally realized something was really wrong it was too late. It was too late and he took so much from you. It’s my fault. My fault you’re hurt and Flapjack is gone and he–he–he–”

She found her breath was gone as Hunter dragged her into a hug, blanket and all. Luz curled into his chest, fist wadded in blanket and sobbed.

It was stupid. She shouldn’t be the one crying. Hunter’s the one who had been hurt after all. He’d been the one possessed. The one who almost drowned. Who’d lost Flapjack.

Yet it was his arms that wrapped tight around her, the all encompassing warmth that was Hunter. Belos had wanted him to be the Golden Guard, an untouchable figure clothed in white and gold. And he was still golden. But to her he’d become so much more than that. To all of them he’d become the sun. Warm and glowing with his silly smile that could light up a room, and his infectious passion for sewing and wolves.

And his hugs, his hugs were the best. Once so foreign to him but now as comforting as being wrapped in a golden ray of sunlight.

“I’m so sorry.” she said again.

They stayed that way, Luz sobbing into his chest while Hunter just held her, until her head hurt and her eyes were scratchy and she physically couldn’t cry another tear.

At that point she gave in and snuggled into his chest, laying against him, still wrapped in her blanket and his arms like a miserable lump. Not that Hunter seemed to mind, he carried on rubbing her arm with one hand, and being a pillar where she couldn’t anymore.

“You did keep me safe, you know.” Hunter’s voice was quiet in the dark room.

“You didn’t hesitate to go looking for Belos with me the first time I told you he was back. You gave me the strength I needed to look for him.”

He squeezed her closer, “You didn’t hurt me. Even when he lashed out, you never hurt me.”

Of course she hadn’t. How could she hurt him? He was her brother. Her sunshine in the storm that was the last six months of their lives.

“And again in the graveyard. You don’t understand what it was like to have him in your mind. I was–he was smothering me. There was no room to breathe. To be. But I heard you. Your voice broke through the darkness and gave me an anchor to latch onto.”

He wasn’t looking at her, but a spot in the wall somewhere. Eyes distant as he recalled the events of Halloween night.

“You and Flapjack.” now he did glance down at her, “You helped him, shielded him, and even partnered with him to help me.” he swallowed, “And you kept him safe after Belos–”

He swallowed, “You don’t have to apologize to me, Luz. Not ever. Not for any of that. You saved me. You’ve never stopped saving me, not since we met. If anything, it should be me thanking you, and promising to keep you safe. As thanks for all you’ve done.”

Luz wasn’t sure what to say to that. So she didn’t say anything. Instead she shifted, pulling away from him to look him in the face. His bags were darker than they’d been before, but not quite as dark as the first time she’d seen him without his mask. In a move, she tossed half the blanket over his shoulders and then flopped back against his shoulder.

“Well I’m not going to stop trying to protect you.” She declared, “I made a promise after all.”

He chuckled, “Then, I guess we’ll just have to protect each other. That’s what family does after all.”

She smiled at that, “Yeah, your right. That's what families are for."

#the owl house #hunter the golden guard #hunter noceda #luz nodeda #They're siblings your honor #I just needed to explore the potential angsty nature of all this #fanfiction #long post #this is my first toh fic #and umm who knows what the future will hold for others #I am maybe very deep in

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