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#I am officially in too deep already
undeadchestnut · 1 year
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Blush meter meme, Scrooge edition. 😏
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Hello and Happy Valentine's Day to you all! To celebrate, here are some very classy and not at all cheap or cheesy, Bleach Valentines Day Cards brought to you by the Gotei 13 Captains! (Or at least, their Bleach Gree Cards, plus my terrible photoshop skills, anyway... 😅)
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Give them to your friends! 🥰
Give them to your enemies! 😈
Give them to your boss! 🥸
 (This is all a joke, please don't do those last two! 😅)
Anyway feel free to use them/give them away to your friends and loved ones, and again Happy Valentine's Day! ☺️
(Special thanks to Bleach Gree Cards for adding all these cards to their blog, thereby preserving them when the website went down!)
Update: The Karakura Kids now have cards as well!!!
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woso-dreamzzz · 2 months
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Injured VII
Alexia Putellas x Child!Reader
Jenni Hermoso x Child!Reader
Summary: Alexia tries to get her act together
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For as long as she will ever live, Alexia will never forget her mother's face that day at Alba's door.
She will never forget the genuine horror on her mother's face even as she took control of the situation. She will never forget that night when Alba slammed her against the wall after the final of the Copa de la Reina. She will never forget the way you hid behind Jenni's legs after your ballet lesson.
It's all she thinks about even as she sits in the rocking chair with a sleeping Jaume in her arms.
"Ale?" Olga says sleepily," It's three in the morning. Come back to bed."
Alexia doesn't want to. She doesn't want to let Jaume go but she doesn't want to look at him either.
He was so perfect. His birth had been quick and easy unlike yours. Alexia had felt an instant connection to him, unlike when she suffered a bought of post-partum depression with you. He was so soft and so perfect and yet...
Alexia couldn't believe that she has pushed you away in favour of him.
She had a beautiful son and daughter. Two children, not one.
She thought having a sibling would be the best thing for you. She wanted to build a family with Olga. She never considered that she hadn't actually included you in that family.
"Alexia," Olga says, a bit more awake now," Come on. He's due for a feed soon. I'd like some sleep before that."
Mechanically, Alexia places her son back in his crib, wiping away some of the drool on his face as she allows Olga to lead her back to bed.
A sense of numbness follows her now and it's clear to everyone.
Word has spread amongst the team now about what has happened. They know the bare minimum, only that Alba took Bambi and that Jenni has dropped everything to fly across the world for you.
No one knows why, officially. It's clear that Mapi and Ingrid have informed a few team members. Paredes, in particular, cannot look Alexia in the eye anymore and some of the younger players are wary seeing that.
Her life is falling apart. She had no idea you were the linchpin holding it all together.
Olga lays next to her, head pillowed on Alexia's chest.
"You're so tense," She says," Relax. Everything's going to be fine."
Alexia scoffs. "Is it?"
Her question hangs in the air for several minutes. Neither of them speak. Neither of them move.
"Yes," Olga says eventually," You need to stay positive, Alexia. If not for yourself then for your daughter-"
"Your daughter?" Alexia echoes Olga's words perfectly," My daughter? Is she not ours?"
The silence is telling and Olga rolls over and away.
"Is she? Jaume is ours. y/n is yours."
Alexia sits up in bed, reaching over to flick a lamp on. This wasn't a conversation she could have in the dark.
"We have a son together. We're going to get married. In what world is Bambi just mine?!"
"In every world!" Olga sits up too. "She has always been yours, Alexia! I am just the woman her Mami is marrying! Nothing more, nothing less!"
"How can you say that?! We're making a family together! Bambi is included in that family!"
"Of course she is but when have I ever taken that role in her life?! You took her to football! You take her to ballet!"
"She stays home with you all day!" Alexia bites back, standing now until they're both yelling at each other over the bed. "You make her lunch! You keep her occupied!"
"And you do her baths and her bedtime routine! You do her morning routine too! God, Alexia, I am essentially her glorified babysitter! You have never once let me take over those things!"
"You didn't ask?! Olga, if you wanted to do that stuff just ask me!"
"And be rejected? No! You've never given any indication that I was even allowed to try!"
"Because I thought you didn't want to! Bambi has always been mine! Forgive me for not knowing how much to put on your plate. I was trying to make this transition easy!"
"An easy transition?! Alexia, I was pregnant! I was already thrown in the deep end! Adding a self-sufficient kid wouldn't have been much worse!"
They're both screaming at each other now and Jaume clearly hears the noise because he cries from down the hall.
Alexia takes a deep breath, eyes shutting briefly as she counts to ten to calm herself.
Olga goes to get Jaume, moving out the door.
"If we're going to get Bambi back," Alexia calls after her," Then we have to both want her!"
The forms about your ballet class lay on the kitchen table when Alexia gets up the next day. Things were frosty last night when Olga came back to bed with Jaume but they seemed to be looking up when Olga said that they would have a mature conversation about the Bambi situation when Alexia got home.
Alexia picks it up as she eats her breakfast, skimming through it. It's for an extra class on Thursday nights (five until seven) on top of your usual ones. Apparently, it's for those little kids that have real potential. As in, the potential to be great.
Alexia had been one of those kids but for football instead of ballet. She had excelled. She was one of the greatest in the world now all because her father saw the potential in her and signed her up for a team.
She had tried to do the same with you. She took you to the under-fives Barcelona team but it hadn't turned out how she want it to. The other children had left you in the dust. Alexia had hoped that it would be a one time thing, that the first session was a fluke.
You were already so different to her and even back then, she knew that when Jaume arrived things would be different.
She'd tried to get you into football so you would have something to bond over together, at least until Jaume was big enough to play with you.
But it wasn't meant to be and her Mama had insisted in signing you up for something else.
Originally, Alexia had planned on it being another team sport, desperate to have something at least similar to football that she could cling to.
Instead, her Mama had reminded her of last Christmas when the family went to go see the Nutcracker and how enamoured you had been.
Ale's Mama had pushed and pushed for ballet and Alexia was glad that she had.
The forms sat signed on the kitchen table as Alexia washed up her bowl and dialled a number on her phone.
"Hola, Mama," She says," It's about Bambi..."
It's after training that Alexia goes to see her Mama and sister. They meet up at Eli's house and all crowd around the kitchen table.
Jenni is there too and when Alexia asks who is looking after you, she's told that Mapi and Ingrid have taken you for ice cream.
"I don't like this," Alba mutters from where she's leaning against the wall. She's the only one not sat, arms crossed over her chest. "How do we know that she's not going to take Bambi home and neglect her again, huh?"
It's the hardest words Alexia has ever had to say but she pushes them out of her mouth. "I don't want you to give me Bambi back, not now at least."
"What do you mean, Alexia?" Her Mama asks.
"I...I have a lot of making up to do," Alexia admits," I broke her trust and that is not an easy thing to get back. If I want Bambi to come home then she has to want it to. I don't want her to be unhappy again."
"What are you saying?"
"Let me visit her, please. Let me earn back her trust, please."
Everyone knows Eli is in charge here. She is the head of the family and everyone defers to her on big decisions like this. This is a family matter. This is about her granddaughter's happiness and her daughter's peace of mind.
"Bambi is very fragile right now," Eli says quietly but the house is so silent everyone can hear her clearly," This is a serious matter, Alexia and if it was anyone else's daughter, child services will have already been called."
Alexia looks down at the table, the same table she would be scolded at when she was young.
"Your father would be ashamed of you." Eli's words are hard and biting and it's exactly what Alexia wants, even if it causes a sharp pain in her chest. "This is not how we raised you. That little girl is so beloved by everyone and what you have done...I love you, Ale, but it is unacceptable."
"I know, Mama. Please, let me make this right."
"Bambi coming home is her choice. It is not a when...it is an if. If I decide that you are doing more harm than good then there will be other actions we can take."
She looks at Jenni, who up until this point has been silent and Alexia's eyes dart to her too.
"Mama, what are you talking about?"
"Eli," Jenni says," She is trying. We don't need to-"
"Jenni still has adoption papers," Alba says from her corner of the room," All they're missing is your signature. Mama is saying that if this cannot be resolved and Bambi doesn't want to come home..."
She lets the idea hang in the air. She doesn't need to say it out loud. They all know what she means.
"It won't get that far," Jenni says, looking at Alexia for the first time since all of this became real," Bambi loves you."
Alexia pushes through the lump in her throat and the tears pricking in her eyes. "If I cannot make this better then she will have the best chance with you."
Jenni looks away first. "She has ballet on Saturday until one. We can do a visit then."
"Thank you."
Olga is sitting with Jaume when Alexia gets home. It's an almost perfect image. All it's missing is you at Olga's feet, playing with your trains.
She can imagine it, your trainsets spread all over the floor and your ballet bag left abandoned on a chair. You will smile when you see her and Alexia will litter your face with kisses before doing the same to Olga and Jaume.
It will be perfect, Alexia promises herself.
"Hey, little man," She coos to her son, hefting him up into her arms and pressing a kiss to his forehead.
Jaume giggles at the affection, lips smacking together as his hand whips out to grab at Alexia's nose curiously. He's been a little fussy recently and extremely sensitive to changes in light but he seems a little happier now.
"That's my nose," Alexia says. She wiggles it. "Is it really funny? Huh? Is my nose funny?"
"Jaume seems to think so." Olga rises from the sofa and pecks Alexia's lips. "How was your mother?"
"Helpful."
"And Alba?"
"She was...Alba."
"And Jenni?"
"How did you-?"
"I am not blind or deaf, Ale. Your team gossips. Jenni has comes back to Spain for y/n."
"Amor-"
"I'm not threatened," Olga laughs," You broke up for a reason but even I know that a meeting of y/n would involve her. How was it? What did they say?"
Alexia manages a smile. "I can see her on Saturday, after ballet. There's a place where you can paint pottery nearby. I think I'll take her there."
"That's nice," Olga says.
"I..." Alexia's been floating in a happy bubble ever since she started to drive home. She doesn't want to ruin it but she has to know. "Did you have a think about what we talked about?"
Olga sighs. "I love Jaume," She says after several beats of quiet," Because he is mine, yes, but mostly because he is yours as well. And I love you so much."
Alexia doesn't like where this is going. "And Bambi?"
"I'm sorry, Ale, but I do not love y/n but...I think I could learn to because she is so much like you and I love you. I do not know y/n like I know you and Jaume. I want to though. I want her home with us so I can love her like I love Jaume. I am sorry if it is not what you want to hear but it is my truth and I hope that is enough."
Tears fall down Alexia's cheeks.
"It's enough. It's enough, amor."
Alexia spends all week waiting for Saturday. There are matches to prepare for and media commitments to do but you're all she can think about.
She wonders if she should bring you a new train to mark the occasion but the model train store has finally shut down and Alexia cannot get one for you in time.
Next time though, she promises herself that she'll got you a new train for your collection. Her palms are sweaty and she's nervous when she spots you and Jenni walking down the street hand-in-hand.
You're still in your ballet clothes but you've got one of Jennie's jackets on and it's dragging on the ground behind you because it's too big. Your hair is still done up in a bun and a few wisps fall down to frame your face.
"Bambi," Alexia says, suddenly breathless when you look up at her.
"Hola, Mami," You reply, ducking a little bit behind Jenni as you greet her.
"Your Mami and you are going to paint some pottery," Jenni says," And I'll be right here to pick you up when you're done."
"You won't be late?"
"Of course I won't be! You're my most favourite little girl in the whole wide world! I'd never be late to pick you up!"
You smile and giggle when Jenni peppers kisses all over your face before gently moving you towards Alexia.
"Hola, Mami," You say again.
Alexia smiles and takes your hand. "Hola, Bambi."
You look very nervous and your hand is unusually warm in Alexia's, though she puts that down to you coming straight from ballet.
There's a big wall where you can choose what to make. Alexia gets a mug and, unsurprisingly, you want the train. It's at the very top of the shelf and you can't reach and you don't want Mami to get upset at you for asking when you could easily get something that's closer to your height.
But Alexia notices.
She's making sure to pay a lot of attention to you now. To the way that your ballet pumps are wearing a bit at the soles and the way you play with the sleeves of Jenni's jacket.
"Do you want the train, Bambi?" She asks," Do you want me to pick you up so you can grab it? Can I touch you?"
You nervously nod and Alexia pretends to not notice the way that you don't breath until you're safely back on the ground.
The little shop is quaint and fairly quiet and Alexia lets you choose the table at the very back.
Very gently, she telegraphs her every move to you as she rolls up the sleeves of Jenni's jacket so you don't get paint on it.
You're both quiet as you paint.
Your little tongue is stuck out in concentration as you dip your paintbrush into the paint and move it to cover your train.
"You moved up in ballet," Alexia says eventually," How was that?"
"Was good," Is the response from your tiny voice," It is harder now but still fun." You blink a few times as the overhead light buzzes and you scratch at you neck. It's been a little itchy since you last saw Mami and you don't like.
You haven't told anyone because you're scared they're going to get angry at you. You're a big girl now. Big girl don't complain about something as silly as itchy skin.
"I'm very proud of you," Alexia says," And I'm glad that you're enjoying ballet so much."
Your watery little smile back makes Alexia nearly cry herself. "Really, Mami?"
"Of course. I am so proud of my Bambi. You make me proud everyday."
"Are you sure, Mami?"
"Yes. I am very proud of you."
You sniffle a little and duck your head back down to continue painting. It hurts to move your head though. It's all stiff and tight so you have to hold it at an odd angle so you don't cry - though you're not sure if it's because of the pain or the fact that Mami is acting like this is the Before.
The Mami from the Before never got angry when you asked silly questions. The Mama from the Now got angry at you once when you asked a silly questions when Jaume was crying.
You hope that this Mami won't be mad because you ask a silly question.
"Mami," You ask softly, the memory plaguing you ever since your Jenni returned to you," Jenni says she wanted me when I was little. Did you want me?"
Whatever bubble Alexia was in before pops and it's like icy cold water has been dumped on her.
"What do you mean, Bambi?"
"You and Miss Olga wanted Jaume," You say," And my Jenni says she wanted me. Did you want me too?"
"Bambi..." Alexia doesn't want to think about those first few months of having you. The post-partum depression had hit hard and Alexia could do little but deal with yours and hers basic needs.
She had loved you and resented you all at the same time and the guilt had weighed on her for months.
"I always want you."
You shake your head before wincing and returning your head back to its awkward resting position. "But did you want me then? When I was little like Baby Jaume and when I was in your belly?"
Alexia moves from her chair to kneel in front of you. Her hand comes up to cradle you. Either her hands are big or your face is tiny because they cover your entire cheek.
"I love you," Alexia says," You're my Bambi and I've always loved you."
"But did you want me?"
"Bambi..."
"Mami...Mami, I..."
Alexia doesn't want to lie but she also doesn't want to tell you either. There were moments, that first week she found out she was pregnant when she didn't want you. She hadn't been overjoyed at the prospective of you. She hadn't wanted her career to be derailed by something as silly as a child.
She doesn't want to tell you the truth because she knows that it will be damaging to you. You're not old enough to be told things like this. You're not mature enough to be told this kind of information and not have it linger and fester within you for years.
But Alexia's always valued honesty. She doesn't like lying but she had lied to you all your life. She doesn't want to lie again now even if it's about something like this. Adults cannot fault other adults for telling their truth but you are neither an adult nor can you understand what this means for you.
"I want you now," Alexia says instead," I want you when I go to bed every night. I want you when I wake up every morning. I want you when I score a goal and when I win trophies. I want you, Bambi."
You sniffle and scratch more insistently at your skin, your wrists this time.
"I miss you sometimes, Mami," You say," But coming back to your house is scary."
"Thank you for being honest, Bambi. You don't have to come home if you don't want to." Alexia forces down tears. "When I next see you, we should go and see Abuela and we'll explain things to you, okay?"
"Okay, Mami."
"Is your train done?"
Your train actually is done so Mami gives it and her mug to the lady who works there to finish off and you both walk outside.
"They should be done in a few days," Mami tells you," And then when I next see you, I'll give you your new train."
"Okay, Mami." Her hand is in yours and you think that is enough for today, pulling your hand away as Jenni turns the corner and lets you run to her.
"Hey," She laughs, swinging you up into her arms," How did it go? Was it fun?"
You don't answer, burying your face into Jenni's neck.
"I..." Alexia says," I think next time when should go to my Mama's...Conversations are...difficult sometimes."
Jenni nods. "I see," She says," Next week, maybe?"
The words are complete autopilot. Alexia hates what she's said the moment they're out of her mouth but they're completely out of habit and she doesn't even think before she speaks.
"We'll see," She says," I'll have to check my schedule." She clamps her mouth shut the moment she says them. "I mean- No, I meant-"
You look resigned, like you are so used to this that it barely effects you but Jenni looks furious. She hefts you up higher in her arms.
"Say goodbye to your Mami, Bambi."
"Bye, Mami."
"Hey...Wait, no, Jenni. I didn't mean-"
"Bambi needs to have a nap," Jenni says," She takes one right after ballet. We changed her schedule for painting today. I should get her home."
Alexia wilts, slouching her shoulders and curling in on herself. "Adios, Bambi. I love you!"
Jenni is already walking around and you don't offer your own I love you in return.
Jenni's steady steps feel nice as she walks you back to Tia Alba's. Your itchiness increases and you scratch more harshly at your neck.
"Ma-Jenni?"
"Yes, Bambi?"
"Can we have cuddles tonight?"
"Of course we can. I love cuddles with my favourite little girl. Are we having them on the sofa after bathtime or in bed together?"
Before Ma-Jenni came home, you slept with your Tia Alba. Now you sleep in the same bed as Ma-Jenni. She's big and strong and she holds you just right. She doesn't let you go the whole night. You go to sleep in her arms and you wake up in her arms.
"Bed cuddles please."
"I love bed cuddles."
You grin. "I love bed cuddles too!"
You scratch at your neck again and Jenni gently pulls your hand away. She frowns, swiping at your skin with her thumb a few times.
"You've got a bit of a rash there, Bambi," She says," We'll have to keep an eye on that."
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goldsbitch · 19 days
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BEEP
First night in a shared apartment with Lando. All is idyllic - until there is an unidentifiable alarm sound, which brings out insecurities buried safely inside under normal circumstances.
fluff, anxiety vibes, one shot
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Y/N was a baths type of person. In fact, Lando suspected her being a part-time mermaid. Always in a body of water, if possible. For hours and hours. Many times he had come to her home only to find her sitting in a bathtub of then already cold water on her "home office" hours, with a laptop on her precisely curated set up. He would come to her, chat a little and playfully splash some water into her face, before having her drain the tub and joining her after another set of hot water was in it. Even after that, he could only last about 20 minutes before getting uncomfortable.
He was glad water bills were not life or death for him when they moved together to their first official shared apartment in Monaco. Making it their own was her priority, so a bathtub was an absolute must. Pool nearby as well.
As far as moving houses goes, this was a hectic one. Lando's schedule making it hard for him to participate, so she had to organize it all with the help of movers. Cleaning out two apartments into one. She was few years younger than him and this was the first time she had actually moved on her own, making it a classic test of adulthood. There were few pseudo panic attacks involved during the process. However, the feeling of accomplishment? Being able to prove to herself that she can do it alone was something nobody could ever take from her. Another level of adulthood conquered. But she didn't want Lando to know about this little insecurity of hers - with him having to grow up faster than most of his peers, she sometimes felt like she was lacking behind. Though Lando never made any comment about that, in fact this did not cross his mind at all, until their first proper evening together in their new apartment.
Lando was excited for that evening, but he was proper tired. Physically and mentally drained. Few weeks of constant travel and racing drama had him totally off.
She managed to get most of things ready for his arrival. They hit the bubbly bathtub immediately upon him coming home. Lando was smitten. Coming home, it felt really refreshing after months of "your place or mine?".
It was raw, both of them naked facing each other in the tub, legs entangled, their bodies touching at multiple places. Hot steam coming out of the water filled the room, curling Lando's hair more that usually and the scent of her latest favorite vanilla bath salt gave into the relaxing atmosphere. They casually caressed each other, engaging in a light simple conversation, carefree and intimate.
All of that went out of the window when there was an excruciatingly loud and sharp beep alarm noise suddenly out nowhere.
BEEP
Y/N eyes went wide. Lando knew that look all too well by then. Pure panic. He knew there were few moments he had to stop her spiraling.
"What was that? Did you hear it?" she asked, boring her eyes in his for answers he did not have.
He smiled and tried to pass on some relaxing energy onto her. "Yes, I did...Calm down, it's probably nothing."
"Probably?! How can you be sure?"
Lando reached for her hand. "I'm sure. All is good and fine, let's not get bothered by anything. I missed you so much," he said truthfully. She was what he wanted to focus on. Not some nonsense sounds.
She eased a bit, her fingers still feeling tense in his hands. "I miss you everytime."
"Oh, so it's a competition now?" he smirked, happy he got her distracted.
BEEP
The two stared at each other in silence for few moments.
"Honey, ignore it," he said trying to sound more demanding than a plea.
Y/N took a deep breath in. "I am ignoring it."
"I can see that, clearly," he said sarcastically. "Tell me about your week instead. Were the movers ok? Did they do a good job?"
"Well, we're sitting here and we have a bed to sleep in, so I'd say it was a success," he replied dryly.
"You're my little nervous peach, aren't you?" he said, leaning closer to her so that he could caress her face. Oh boy, was he drowning in love with this strange human sitting across him.
She let go of her pout. "Yes...But, you're the one to talk! You always get nervous before a car upgrade."
He was truly fascinated how she was unapologetically able to compare new McLaren upgrades with a random beep sound. He'd already made a mental check of the things that could have been making that sound and figured all the important alarms made a completely different sound. For a moment, he imagined his girlfriend sitting in a formula 1 car going over 200 km/h, freaking out in the style only she knew how. He'd never admit this to her, but he found her "freaking out" face irresistible.
He calculated his response. "It's perfectly fine to get nervous. But trust me, this in nothing."
BEEP
Her question was almost immediate. "What if it's the gas. What if we have a gas leak. A guy came here to do an inspection yesterday, what if he didn't close the vent or whatever?"
"Honey, the gas is not even on now..." he looked at her perplexed.
She was unstoppable at this point. "I don't know that! I don't understand these things! It's all gas heater there, air conditioning here, water boiler this and insurance that. Did you know we need to have a property insurance for the lease?"
"Yes, I knew that." He was not sure how to keep responding at that point. The last thing he wanted was to make her spiral more.
"Well, I didn't! Felt like an absolute idiot talking to the guy, I thought these things were part of leases."
Lando squeezed her hand. "It's fine. Once we get out of the tub, we'll go and search for the sound. Hey, maybe it has already stopped."
She was staring at him, waiting for her cue, expecting a beep sound any moment now. He returned her look, challenging her, making a battle of who was right. And the sound? Suddenly, not even a little ding.
"See?" he said, really hoping it was not going to come as he finished.
Tension was high in the bathroom, making it the opposite of relaxing. Yet still, there was no place other than these two would rather be. Well, Y/N would rather be at the source of the forsaken beeping, but, that was not happening now.
"Ok. Maybe you're right," she said, visibly tired as well.
"We'll get out of this bath in few mins, have dinner in the bed, watch some nonsense and go to sleep, ok? I need your cuddles, desperately," he said softly and leaned to kiss her.
BEEP
"Oh my god, what is that???" she screamed in utmost annoyance.
"Honestly, it sounds like it's coming from outside the house," he observed - and she was not having it anymore.
She gave him a sassy smile. "So, what. Is it the apocalypse now?"
"It's not the apocalypse."
Flustered wave hit her face, having her melt down completely. "Why would someone install an alarm somewhere and have it beeping for no apparent reason? People don't do that."
"I don't know, my love..."
"That's ok, but I should know! I took over the apartment from the realtor - I should have asked!"
"And what would the question be? What are the things that could beep?"
She threw her arms out, splashing water everywhere and not even noticing it. "I don't know! That's the thing! I just don't know. And I don't have a single idea where people find these out. How come everyone around always seems to know and I'm here just sitting, vibing and hoping we're not going to burn the house down."
"Y/N? What's this about?" he asked, concerned. Was she ok? Was there something he'd missed?
She was on a roll, words just flowing out of her mouth, the way only speaking to Lando made her do. "I just feel so out of place some times. I'm doing all these adult things, far away from family and from you as well. And I want to be able to do it, I want to be a good adult. But I just don't know."
He tried to hold her hand once again, but she was busy having her arms crossed around her chest. "You're still young, this is growing up. I also don't know yet, many times..."
"I don't want to be your burden, I want to be your support."
"You are my support, what are you on about?"
"I was suppose to be in charge of the whole moving thing. And here we are and I can't even tell you what's beeping."
BEEP
"My god! Can it just stop! Please!"
Lando was still thinking about what she said previously. The familiar feeling she described.
"You did a great job with the move, by the way. Honestly. It would not happen without you. I wish I could be here more," he spoke slowly, hoping she would subconsciously join in his tune.
She sighed. Might as well get everything out now. "I love you, you know that. But it gets lonely sometimes. And there is no end of your nomadic lifestyle in sight. And what if you get bored of me once you stop traveling? We've never spent a month without a break together. What if when you're older, you decide I'm actually pretty boring and you leave me for someone younger. And I'll be old, pass my best years and alone once again."
She stopped, surprised a little bit by the words that came out of her. Now that it was out, it was impossible to ignore.
Lando was hyper focused now. Every word a calculated decision. This was no longer a chill chat.
BEEP
"Y/N. I love you too. And I love you the way you are and I can't imagine loving anyone else. I'm also excited for the older version of you to come one day, to accompany my older self that I have yet to meet. I want to be with you. My job is making this harder, but I hope this will not be an obstacle for you."
The last thing she wanted was to make him feel guilty. She got mad at herself for tangling things up together so much that it stopped making sense to her. "Of course not. I love your passion and the fact you dream big. Sorry, this got a little out of hand."
"No, I'm glad you're finally phrasing your worries. Is there anything more?" Lando was keen on continuing this impromptu chat.
"What if we grow apart? People change all the time. What if we stop wanting each other? How long can love last?"
He smiled. "For me it's impossible to imagine it now. I can only speak for my present self. But what you described it the last thing I'd ever want to happen."
Y/N took a deep breath once again. "Do you want children? Because I don't know yet. Yet, unlike you, I don't have the luxury of decades to decide. My time is slowly running up. And here I am, not even sure if want them?"
"Honey, plenty if time for that. I'm sure I do not want children in the next two years anyway. It must be real fun in your head sometimes - in one sentence you're too young to know adult stuff and in other you're too old for having children?"
She finally laughed. "Yeah. It is confusing sometimes."
"I hope you don't get offended, but you look absolutely gorgeous when you're flustered. Don't be too hard on yourself, please."
"I'll remind you of that when you're on your typical self-hate trip after a bad race."
"Touché." Got him there.
"Shall we get out of the bath? Would you mind searching with me for the alarm?"
"With you I'll be happy to do absolutely anything."
He got out and reached a hand for her when she was getting up, almost as a metaphor for her current state. They helped each other dry out, put on new matching bathrobes that Lando brought as a gift and searched the whole apartment for anything that could or would beep. There were few more beeps coming their way before they suddenly stopped. The two figured it really was coming somewhere from outside. Once Y/N was finally convinced they checked everything, she agreed on getting to bed and cuddle. Lando offered going out to get her ear buds for sleeping, but by that time it had already stopped.
They never found the source of the beeping. But, that's ok. Sometimes things just make unexpected noise and it's fine.
700 notes · View notes
dumpywrites · 14 days
Text
Cat-astrophe - Min Yoongi / Suga
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Summary: Your pet cat keeps going to your neighbor’s apartment and it’s a problem. 
Genre/tags: Fluff-ish, strangers to ???, minor mention of anxiety.
Pairing: Yoongi x she/her reader
a/n: cus we're all soft for long haired Yoongi, right? hehe
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It had been officially a month since you had moved to a new apartment place. You loved the new place honestly. It was cozy and the neighborhood looked nice. There were many convenience store nearby and the street was always still busy until late at night, making you feel a little bit of secure when coming home late.
While the place was nice it had one tiny downside. It was rather on the far side from your workplace. It took you an hour of bus ride just to get home from the office, so some days could be more tiring than others. And today was one of those tiring days. 
It was around nine at night on a Monday. Having to work overtime for the deadline and missed the bus, really dreaded you out. You were both tired and hungry, arriving home only to find that your pet cat was missing. It really just was not your day.
To say you were panicking would be a bit of an understatement. Cookie was barely a four month-old cat and had a very tiny body. All the negative possibilities start filling your head and you were horrified by all of them. Not to mention how it was basically forbidden to bring pets in the apartment complex. It was one of the policies but you couldn't help it since Cookie was a rescue.
When you arrived at your apartment lobby with a cat snack on your hand, there wasn’t that many people there. You walked past a guy by the front desk, who had medium-length black locks and fair skin, with headphones dangling on his neck. You began to call your pet’s name as soon as you were outside the lobby, but suddenly you felt a light tap on your shoulder. 
“Are you looking for a small black Bombay cat?” It was the same guy who just walked past you.
“Oh my god, I am! Have you seen him???” You said, your voice was a little bit shaky. 
“He’s in my place, I’m on the seventh.” 
“Oh, me too!”
“I know.”
“Oh.” You said, surprised at how stoic he sounded saying that, but didn’t further question him on it. “I’m so sorry for bothering you, can I go get him now?”
“Sure, I was just gonna go up as well.”
When you both entered the elevator, you made a mental note to ask his name or at least introduce yourself. He was a neighbor after all. It was pretty silent inside the lift and you just hoped he didn’t hear your stomach rumbling ever so slightly. You took a deep breath, bearing the hunger for a little while. 
When the elevator door opened you followed him from behind as he led you to his door. When he stopped at his front door, your eyes were widened in shock. 
“You live next to me?!” 
“Yeah.” He said casually and unlocked the door. "I've seen you multiple times."
You chose to not further question and followed him but stopped when you had only took two steps in, because technically, the homeowner had not really officially permit you to come in. The guy seemed to notice how you just stood awkwardly and looked back. 
“You can sit down for a sec, I’ll go get him.” 
“Oh, right… yeah. Thank you.” You said awkwardly and walked to sit on his couch. 
A few seconds later the man came back with your cat in his embrace. Cookie was clinging on his tshirt before he tugged him and gave him onto your lap. 
“Cookie!” You called, almost teary. 
“I think he jumped from your balcony to mine. Make sure to close your balcony door next time.”
“Thank you so much, I owe you… uh…”
“Yoongi.” 
“Thank you, Yoongi.” You repeated and introduced yourself in return. “I’m Y/N, and if you ever need anything please let me now.” You said as you stood up, already making your way out. 
“Also, thank you for not reporting it…”
“No problem.” Was all the guy said and by this point you figured he was not much of a talker. 
You bid your goodbye to your neighbor, which only gained a small nod before he closed the door on you. You walked to your door and let Cookie down as soon as you got inside. Sighing deeply, you began to feel your stomach rumble again, this time it rumbled quite loudly. Your feet were aching from standing on the bus and now your body finally got on how tired you were. 
Cookie meowed and immediately went to his cat bed and laid down. You sighed and smiled at the small creature. 
“You little rascal… you’re lucky I love you.” 
You then went to your kitchen to cook yourself some instant ramen. 
The next day you went to work and had to take another overtime. Unfortunately you had to for the rest of the week until your current project was done. It was exhausting but you had to make it and mostly thinking about the bonus pay from it helped quite a bit. You spent the next few days the same, repeating the schedules, and the tiring work. 
It was almost ten at night that you arrived home and found out Cookie had gone missing again. For some reason your first instinct was to knock on your next door, in hope the neighbor who once helped you, could lend you a hand again, and hoping maybe Cookie just ran to his place again instead of being gone somewhere where it wasn't safe for him.
You knocked on the door and didn’t get immediate answer. You waited for what felt like five minutes, before the door opened and you were greeted with the sight of your neighbor with wet hair. He had a small white towel around his neck and the hoop earring that you saw him with before was absent. His skin looked glowing, you probably needed to ask about his skin care routine later.
“So sorry to interrupt you, I was wondering if Cookie might have gone to your place again?” 
“He’s right there on the couch.” He casually pointed. His expression was straight and had you wondering if he did not mind it, bothered, or simply didn’t care. 
You slowly walked to approach your cat and bent down to its level. “Cookie, you need to stop this…” You tapped the cat's nose, as if scolding the poor cat would do anything. 
“He jumped to my balcony again, did you forget to close the door?” 
“But I made sure to close it this morning…” You looked at your neighbor, who walked closer to inspect the cat. 
“I think he knows how to turn door knobs, since he’s quite a jumper. You need to lock the door.” 
“I can’t believe this little demon…” You sighed, fingers still stroking the purring cat. 
“He’s… alright.” 
You were slightly taken aback by the response and looked up to him, but much to your disappointment, his expression still looked the same. You were about to get up and excuse yourself, but you notice a small steel bowl under his dining table, half full with what you assumed to be cat milk (I mean, it would be weird if it was his, duh!). 
“You also have a cat?”
His eyes followed yours. “Oh, that. I got it the first time Cookie came here, I figured he must be thirsty since he came in around noon time.” 
“That’s… that’s very nice of you.” You looked at him and smiled. Somehow him addressing your cat by his name sounded lovely. 
“You can have the rest of the milk if you want, since you’ve figured out how he escaped and all…” 
“It’s okay, you can keep it! Just in case he ran into you again…” You chuckled but then stopped after realizing how that just sounded like you did not mind troubling him with your cat continuously. “I mean… I’m sorry, I’ll make sure he’ll never escape again.” 
“It’s alright, I’ll keep the milk for now.” He paused for a second, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just in case.”
You looked at your neighbor and couldn’t help but to feel all warm inside. He seemed like a nice person and from the looks of it he also liked your cat. 
“Thank you so much, Yoongi. I’ll be taking this little guy here then...” You smiled at him and stood up with Cookie in your arms. 
“I got some dim sum…” 
You looked at the guy questioningly. 
“Do you maybe want some?” 
“That’d be too much, it’s okay, you go ahead and eat.” You politely declined. Although you were hungry, you could bring yourself to bother your neighbor any more than what you had done. 
“Have you eaten?” 
“Y-yeah?” You asked, afraid you heard it wrong. 
“Have you eaten?” He repeated. “If not, then I insist you take some.”
“I…” You wanted to lie, but at this point it would come off as rude if you refuse him again. “I actually haven’t. Thank you very much though, I feel so bad that you’re being this nice to me.”
“You can just eat them here.” 
“I don’t wanna disturb—“ You were awkwardly cut by the sound of your stomach rumbling. 
“You’re not disturbing me.” He cleared his throat and looked away. 
That was embarrassing. 
And that was how you ended up sitting down on your neighbor’s dining table, eating dim sums. 
In silence. 
This Yoongi guy really did not like conversation it seemed. He was sitting down on his couch and had turned the TV on. The volume was on but not quite loudly, and Cookie was on his lap, sleeping as he occasionally stroked the cat’s head softly. Funny that somehow you could see some resemblance of Yoongi with your cat.
“So… how long have you lived here?” You bit your bottom lip as you waited for his answer. You kind of regretted asking as soon as the words came out from your mouth, afraid it would be awkward. 
“Around ten months or so.” He paused. “No, I think it’s been almost a year cause I spent two months overseas.”
“Really? What were you doing overseas?” You regretted asking again. Looking at how quiet Yoongi was, you didn’t want to ask too much or indulge into too much conversation, afraid it would be too much for him. 
But much to your surprise, he answered. “I’m a producer. I was working for this artist and all the work had to be done in America.” 
“Wow, that sounds amazing!” You said. At this point you no longer were sitting facing the table, but to him. “Who was the artist?”
“Uh… Halsey.” He replied while looking at the TV screen, seemingly to avoid your stare.
“Oh my god???” You gasped. “That’s incredible! So you’re like crazy talented?!”
“I’m alright…” 
“You should show me some of your work someday!” You said enthusiastically. When Yoongi did not reply to it and stayed silent, you cursed yourself internally. “I mean compared to what I do that’s like really amazing.” You chuckled nervously. 
“I’m sure you’re great at what you do.” He looked at you, a small smile was on his lips. 
You realized it was the first time you saw him smile and it made your heart raced rather faster than usual. It was the first time you saw him with facial expression other than his usual poker face. 
“I’m just a normal product designer at a very normal company.” You shrugged. 
“Don’t downplay yourself like that. You work very hard.” 
“Thanks…” You replied shyly. 
After finishing your food, you got up and went to wash the dishes, which immediately got stopped by the homeowner. He politely told you to go back home and rest. Which again, you could not thank him more for. 
You took your pet in your arms and said your goodbyes to your neighbor. Right when you arrived back in your place you came to realize something. Yoongi did not eat with you and there was only one portion of the food. While it could just meant he had already eaten beforehand, you felt giddy, thinking about another possibility. Was this a crush you sense forming? Frankly speaking, you could not care less. You were welcoming the possibility with open arms.
— 
Friday finally came and you were ready to take it in. The days of working with your company project was going to an end, which meant you no longer need to work overtime after this. The thought of it put you in a very good mood. 
This time right after arriving home, you walked to a nearby chicken restaurant and grab some not only for you, but also for your neighbor. You wanted to repay his kindness the past few days. After changing into some comfortable clothes, not to mention the multiple times you had to re-check the outfit in the mirror for some reason, you took your cat in your left hand and the food in the other. You knocked on your neighbor’s door hoping he was home. 
And he was. You were greeted with his silence but he opened the door wider as soon as he saw your face without question. One thing that caught your eyes though was how he was dressed up like he was ready for a night out. He wasn’t in his usual sweatpants and baggy t-shirt, but instead in a ripped wide legged jeans and a light blue shirt, unbuttoned, with a plain white tee underneath. He looked handsome. And here you were, in your so-called comfy outfit that you were starting to regret.
“Before you ask, no, Cookie’s right here.” You smiled awkwardly as you raised the small cat in your hand for him to see. “I’m just here to drop by some chicken I got for you… as a thanks for your help these past few days.” You handed the plastic of food to him. “Alright, that’s all…”
He took the food from you hesitantly. “You don’t wanna come in?” 
“Aren’t you going out or something?”
“I was… but you are here.” He said, sounding unsure. 
“That’s ridiculous, why would I stop you from going out?”
“I was gonna go to your place…” 
Your mouth formed a small O shape, unable to form a word. He was going to your place? But what for??? The butterflies in your stomach were having a blast. 
“But you’re all dressed up…”
“I was gonna change back.” He sighed, running his hand through his hair, which made you gulped at the sight. “I knew this was a bad idea I shouldn't have listened to Hoseok—”
You stopped his rambling. “What do you mean?”
“I was gonna ask you if you wanted to go eat together at that one Chicken restaurant nearby…”
“Oh.” You widened your eyes.
“Yeah.” He looked at you, biting his cheek in annoyance. 
“This is awkward.” You chuckled. 
“Whatever, just… just come in first.”
You saw Yoongi putting the plastic of food on his table. You offered help after putting down your cat on his couch and walked to his direction. Both of you plated the food in comfortable silence, it felt oddly domestic and you liked it. At this point you were used to him being not talkative and see it as his charm. 
After you took the plates to the living room, Yoongi suddenly came back with cans of beers and soju in his hands. 
“We’re drinking?” You said with an amused grin. 
“You can drink, right?” 
“Sure, but can you?” You playfully eyed him. 
“Don’t challenge me.” 
You could see how he was trying to hide his smile, and it brought colors to your cheeks. 
You did not know how you got in this situation. Five episodes in randomly rewatching Avatar The Last Airbender and you both were drunk. You were resting your head on his shoulder as you watch the screen. It seemed like the booze gave you confidence, or made you shameless, or both, but the guy didn’t complain so it could be a sign of a good thing. While you could see Yoongi holding his alcohol better than you, he was not completely sober either. 
It was at this very moment where you saw things through a pink tinted lense. Had Yoongi’s hair always looked that soft? Had he always looked this handsome? You began to question things you should not be questioning.
“Why didn’t you change your clothes?” You randomly asked. 
“Do I look bad?” He replied, eyes still on the screen, hands stroking the sleeping cat on his lap. 
"Of course not, I just feel severely underdressed now..." You chuckled.
He eyed you from top to bottom, which made you nervous, but he shrugged, seemingly to not have any problem with your clothes.
“You look… handsome.”
“You think I look handsome?” He suddenly moved to face you, making you move to look at him as well. The tone of his voice sounded like he was teasing more than asking a question.
You nodded and bit your lips. “And you kinda look like Cookie.” You giggled. 
He raised one of his eyebrows, clearly not satisfied with your answer. 
“Your eyes…” You began to ramble. “They look just like Cookie’s, and when you look annoyed, or just your plain expression… you look like a cute cat.” 
“Really…” Yoongi hummed. 
“Yup!” You giggled like an idiot. 
You failed to notice how at this point, Yoongi has put Cookie down from his lap to the floor. His face only inches away from you as you kept rambling. 
“Your hair look so soft… like a cat’s fur.” You reached your hands closer to his hair, but stopped mid-way, scared he’d get uncomfortable. 
Yoongi surprised you again by grabbing both of your wrist and putting your hands on his hair, letting you stroke his head slowly. You saw his expression softened and as you kept playing with his hair, he closed his eyes. You swore you heard him purr. 
“Pretty.” You said with a drunk smile. 
“Hmm. Pretty.” He mirrored. 
“Okay, call me crazy but why do I kinda wanna kiss you right now.” You said, totally losing the battle with your common sense. 
Yoongi chuckled. “You’re crazy.” He ran his fingers through his hair, looking to the right. “I like it.” 
To be frank, you could not recall what happened after. You recalled some bits of karakoe-ing? Singing random PSY songs in your broken Korean using a bottle of whiskey as your mic. That was probably all? You couldn’t think while the throbbing headache was present in the room with you.
So why were you now in a bed that was not yours, wearing a t-shirt that was too big for you and was clearly not yours, also for heaven’s sake, WHY IS YOONGI SLEEPING NEXT TO ME??? 
You froze. Did you??? There was no way. Sure you found him attractive and all, and you definitely had this huge crush on him, but you couldn’t just sleep with a guy you barely knew. Besides your headache, your body didn’t feel any pain, so that was probably a good sign. What if he was just that gentle? Okay, you need to stop thinking at once before you started a whole fiction about you and Yoongi in your head.
When you turned your back, you felt the other side of the bed shifted as well. 
“You’re up?” He asked with a raspy voice. 
“Yeah.” You said, still back-facing him. “We didn’t… you know…”
“No, we didn’t.”
“Oh, okay good.”
Yoongi did not answered to that, but instead you felt him scooting closer. 
“I’m sorry, this isn’t probably how you’d wanna spend your weekend.” You chuckled. 
Your breath hitched when you felt a hand over your waist. “Is this okay?” He suddenly stopped when your body tensed at his touch. 
You nodded, heart beating too loudly for you to form any sentence. 
“This is nice.” He said, resting his forehead on your back. 
When you stayed silent, he took your hand and turned you over to face him. Heat immediately took over your body as soon as your eyes meet. You noticed he was back in his usual home attire, oversized tee and sweatpants. His hair was messy, but it seemed like universe had its favorite cause he still looked good. 
“You know, I haven’t had good sleep in… weeks.”
You were surprised by his sudden confession.
“It’s half past eleven now, and it’s not even ten minutes after I woke up…” He tittered. “My anxiety has been getting worse the past month and out of nowhere a black cat suddenly jumped to my balcony, meowing non-stop while I was working.”
You looked at him, letting him finish his talk. This was the most words you had ever heard coming out of Yoongi’s mouth and it made your heart flutter. 
“I haven’t been caring. I’ve stopped caring, for a while now. Seeing you care so much for such a small creature… I don’t know, it feels good. It makes me wanna care.”
“Yoongi…” You cooed, caressing his cheek. "It's not true, all you have been since I first met you until this moment, was caring."
"I'm sorry if it feels like it came out of nowhere but I feel at home with you and I don’t know why...” He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Yet, at least.”
“I… like this too. A lot actually.” You said shyly. 
“I would like to get to know you more if you’d like.” He was being honest and exactly to the point, no flirty bullshit to spice his sentences.
“I’d love that...” 
Suddenly you heard a low meow from under the bed and Cookie jumped into the bed, joining you two. Apparently his bedroom door was left opened and none of you noticed how Cookie had entered. You giggled and he smiled as well, the widest smile and the most genuine you had ever seen from him, as he took the cat and cuddled both of you close.
"I think it's about time you give me your number..." You squinted at him playfully. "You know, so we don't repeat the whole chicken restaurant accident again?"
“Okay, but promise me first you won’t apologize again after kissing me.” He chuckled. 
“EXCUSE ME WHAT???”
— 
“Okay, call me crazy but why do I kinda wanna kiss you right now.” You said, totally losing the battle with your common sense. 
Yoongi laughed. “You’re crazy.” He ran his fingers through his hair, looking to the right. “I like it.” 
“I can be crazier if you open that whiskey.” You wiggled your eyebrows.
Yoongi just shook his head, smiling at your silliness. He stood up and went to grab his Hibiki anyway, which earned a shout of celebration from you. 
Things escalated quickly after opening the bottle. Somehow you were starting a drunk karaoke session which followed by many dance breaks. You ended up crying when a sad song randomly came up in the playlist and when Yoongi asked why, you replied. You replied with your lips on his.
In your head it just made sense. It was his lips’ fault for looking so juicy. Yeah, totally his fault for looking so hot that it was driving you insane.
None of you moved and it only lasted seconds before your mood turned sour again. 
“I’m so sorry I didn’t mean…” You pushed him gently. “Oh my god, you’re so gonna hate me!!!”
“Hey, calm down…“ 
You started to panic, tears now forming in your eyes again. “Please don’t hate me, I just wanted to kiss you…” You cried. 
“Okay, I think that’s enough drinking—“
And you puked. 
Yes, Yoongi did see your lilac colored bra when he helped you change into his t-shirt. But that’s a secret between him and little Cookie. 
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Thank you for reading! 💎
part 2 is here!
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616 notes · View notes
qiwoomi · 1 month
Text
officially yours (his)
gojo satoru x fem! reader
fluff, established relationship, marriage, modern au, slightly suggestive in the end
a/n: idk how long it's been, almost about a year but I'm back again. this time school isn't an obstacle anymore :] wrote this while seasons - wave to earth is playing in the background
If years ago you're telling the Gojo Satoru you would marry him, he would tell you it would be a dream out of reach. Because back then, he's not confident in himself to make someone as beautiful- inside and out as you happy. It might be because of his rough past, and he didn't want to risk you going through it as he doesn't want you to get hurt.
You are too delicate, too fragile that he's sure that he doesn't deserve you. Hell, he would even risk letting someone else have you if it meant you don't have to go through a single trouble that he always endures. Though he's used to it by now, but you don't.
So how is it possible that here he is, standing on the shoreline of the vast ocean of your dreams, his shoes a little drenched and stained with sand. But never mind all that. His eyes are on you, teary and red though it won't fall. His lips are trembling, he wants to say something, but he knew that he would be sobbing and he promised himself that he won't ruin the ceremony that unite both of you in sickness and health.
There you are in your white wedding dress, your dream wedding dress, as you held the bouquet of flowers in your hand, keeping up a smile even though you're also on the verge of tears. Your eyes are blurry, but your father guided you to him, letting go of you as you're now standing in front of each other.
You allowed yourself to sniffle. Geto then starts doing the speech and declaration to officiate both of you in your wedding day, Satoru's eyes never fell from yours.
It's time to declare each other's wedding vows, which you anticipate. Satoru fixed his bow tie nervously, as you smiled.
"[Name], my love, my heart, my life, my everything." He starts, and his voice already cracked which earned a few laughs from your families and friends. He was full on sniffling, nose red as the first drop of tears stained his cheek. "First of all, I want to thank you a lot for everything you've done for me. Taking care of me even when I'm whiny and clingy, even though I stained your shirt with my snot as you patted me to sleep. Always being there to comfort me because you know that I'm not fine, even though I insist I am. You always knew before me, and this is one of the reasons why I fall in love with you." He manage to make through the first paragraphs, as onslaught of tears stained his cheeks again.
"Oh my god, I'm crying." He accidentally slipped into the mic, as chuckles are heard again. He's trying to wipe them off with his sleeves now. "Does anyone have a tissue?" He sniffled, as Geto handed him a q-tip. He tried wiping his tears with them, as it didn't do as much. "What does a q-tip gonna do? I need a tissue." He sniffled again, only realising the tissue in his breast pocket when you pointed them out.
"Ah, thank god." He sniffled, as he tried to compose himself while wiping his tears. Now the audiences were laughing, which makes you laugh too even though you're also about to drown in tears. "Okay." He cleared his throat, lifting up the paper in his view which is stained by droplets of tears.
"I'm sure that even if I continue listing them down, words wouldn't be enough to express my love to you- because it runs deep. And it is dangerous, at least this is what I thought when I was so young and naive, still learning what real love means." He sniffled. "But I got addicted to it, you're too addictive that I'm sure the thought of you will never go away. Everyday I wake up, I'm thankful that I even get the chance to be with you. And I try to make it last, even though temporary, these fleeting moments is my motivator."
He inhaled, before reading the next last paragraph. "My love, I want you to know that this has been my dream for the longest time. And to see and experience myself to be officially yours is a dream come true. I'm yours, always yours from the start and eternally. I promise myself from the start, and I want you to know that I'll always be with you no matter in sickness or in health, in the hardest days of your life or the easiest. I love you wholeheartedly in all versions of yourself. My heart, I have devoted myself to you, and should you think that I'm not, I'll always remind you through my actions. I love you, my [Name], my wife now and forever."
Gojo Satoru managed to finish, his tears are now at bay only for it to stream continously again when it's your turn to recite your wedding vows. It is safe to say that Gojo Satoru cried more than you, and he took 1 to 2 business days to process your marriage before finally going back to his 'normal' safe. And you love him all the same.
bonus:
It was late on your wedding night, after making love with him. You laid on his chest, catching your breath as he caressed your hair, his eyes on the ceiling as if lost in thought. It was quiet, but you love it.
"My love?" He starts, his eyes now on you, admiring your features. His hand on your hair is so comforting, that it took you a second to answer him. "Mhm? What is it baby?" You asked, looking up at him with sincereness and love in your eyes.
He pouted, frowning a little. Whatever it is that's weighing on his mind, you want to make it go away. "I'm sorry for ruining our wedding. I just can't hold it- you know. I never thought we would go this far." He mumbled, as you now start cupping his face, making him look into your eyes.
"Hey, it's fine. You know, I love that you're not afraid to show your true self. I love you. You make the wedding more memorable." I reassured him, speaking softly that he might even fall asleep to my voice.
Satoru didn't answer, though it's evident he's happy to know your thoughts now that his frowns and pout go away. "I love you too. You know, we're not even done for the night." He teased, now going back to his 'normal' self.
You slapped his chest playfully, though there's no denying it when your cheeks are flushed.
a/n: this is inspired from one of the videos I came across on ig (iykyk) I wish I copied the link but I lost it ☹️ the video literally screams satoru and you can't fight me.
EDIT: HERE'S THE LINK GUYS!!!
© @qiwoomi
est. 250324
do not copy, translate or repost my work.
480 notes · View notes
talesofely · 4 months
Text
The (Wo)Man Who Can't Be Moved
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Pairings : Natasha Romanoff x GN/Fem!Reader
Summary : Natasha's your ex-girlfriend, she broke up with you without giving you a solid reason as to why. Obviously, you want her back. One problem, she's unofficially dating Bucky Barnes. So you decided to solve it with a little performance.
Warnings : Angst, Fluff, Hopeful Ending (?), Swearing I think, reader is mostly gender neutral but i envisioned it as a fem!reader soooo, pls tell me if u see anything else
Note : I rlly wanna make a part 2 of this, lmk what u guys think thooo
Word Count : almost 2k
Save My Tears - Part 2
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Tony decided to host another one of his famous Stark parties. This time, his excuse was that you are single again, and that Natasha and Bucky had something going on. What he didn't know was you and Natasha didn't quite end in good terms, cause she broke up with you. And of course... that you still miss her so god damn much.
So there you were, in your room, mentally preparing yourself to see the love of your life with her soon to be boyfriend. You didn't want to go, you absolutely wanted to just run away. But you couldn't. You had to show that the break up didn't affect you as much as they thought it did, even if it really did.
A knock on your door pulled you out of your thoughts.
"Come in." The door opened and revealed a redhead. You smiled sadly at the woman, it wasn't your redhead. It was Vision's.
"I told you I'm fine, Wands." You tried your best to give her a genuine chuckle. Wanda didn't seem to be convinced though.
"You look good, L/N. Trying to impress somebody?" Wanda said as she leaned against the closed door of your room.
"You already know the answer to that." You said as you shook your head, standing up to apply perfume.
"Just tell her, Y/N/N. I mean, you should shoot your shot before it's too late. I heard Buck's gonna ask her to be his girlfriend officially tonight." Wanda announced, watching you intently as you try desperately to calm your nerves.
"What am I supposed to say, Wands? Please take me back, I miss you so much, I know you broke up with me but I want you back?" You sarcastically said as you scoffed. "Plus, I don't wanna ruin what she has with Bucky. She must like him so much if she made their relationship public within three days of seeing each other."
"She isn't happy with him, and we both know that. I care about Natasha too, Y/N, I want her to be atleast happy with who she's with. Plus, how can you know she doesn't want you back if you haven't even asked?" Wanda asked with a raised brow. You didn't dare to make eye contact, just staring at the perfume bottle on your hand. "Think about it, alright?"
Wanda left your room, leaving you alone with more thoughts than you had 30 minutes ago.
Stark decided to go to the next level for this party. He had a stage in the middle of the living room, a bunch of speakers, and a mic stand.
The party was more lively than normal. Everyone was teasing the future couple, much to your annoyance. Natasha and Bucky were the center of attention.
Apparently, Bucky loves getting all that recognition and attention, but deep down you know Natasha doesn't. Your ex-girlfriend loves parties, but she doesn't like it when she's the center of attention. Bucky doesn't seem to know it considering he's showing her off like she's just a trophy.
You sat at the bar, alone, drinking your Aunt Roberta cocktail. Clint approached you, Tony right behind him. You didn't acknowledge them, just continuing to watch the 'It Couple' as Tony calls them.
"You okay, Y/n?" Clint asked with a small smile. You're guessing he didn't know what happened, you didn't know if Natasha told him how she broke your heart. You just nodded in response, drinking down the last of your cocktail.
"They're such a nice couple, right? Natasha and Bucky? I'm not glad you and Nat broke up but I'm glad they found each other." Tony said with a grin, oblivious to the fact that you want to punch him in the face.
"Mhm." You responded with another nod. You couldn't do this sober, but the alcohol wasn't doing anything.
"Hey, Y/N, you should sing! You have a great voice, right!? You used to sing for Natasha when you were still together!" Tony slurred out, obviously intoxicated now. Clint nodded in agreement, both trying to convince you to sing.
You didn't want to, you weren't in the right mood to put on a show.
However, when your eyes drift to Natasha and Bucky slow dancing to your song, 'Wonderful Tonight' by Eric Clapton, the same song you two always danced to, you snapped.
You cleared your throat to steal Tony and Clint's attention. You stood up and fixed your suit's jacket. The polo you were wearing underneath had three buttons unbuttoned, showing just enough for men and women to go wild.
"I'll go sing, Anthony. The tablet beside the mic is connected to the speakers, right?" You asked as Tony nodded eagerly. He always liked it when you sang, saying you had a specific vibe he couldn't get from other singers.
Before you could fully walk away, Clint shouted at you, making you turn around and raise a brow at him.
"Go get your girl back." He mouthed then winked. You rolled your eyes at him before flipping him off.
When you reached the stage, Steve got off and handed you the mic with a smile. You sat down on the chair, everyone was surprisingly cheering for you. Mostly everyone's eyes were on you, excited for the song you were about to play.
You didn't dare to look into the audience, in fear of meeting those green eyes you used to call home. The fondness in them wasn't for you anymore, anyways.
"Hey, everyone. I hope y'all are having an amazing night. I do hope you enjoy these songs I'm about to play." You said as you clicked the instrumental version of the song you chose, on the tablet.
Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand
Saying, "If you see this girl can you tell her where I am?"
(Italics are flashbacks)
Three days after Natasha broke up with you, you decided to drive to a park where you two always went on. You sat on the exact bench where you asked her to be your girlfriend. Not a lot of people walked by, it was a slightly secluded area.
You stared at the lake in front of you, watching as the ducks you always used to feed with Natasha swim towards you. One duck in particular, the one you named Nibbles, the one you considered your child, approached you and stood on your foot.
You smiled sadly at him, caressing his fluffy head.
"Hi, Nibbles. Your mama isn't here, I'm sorry. We won't show up together anymore, buddy. I still promise to visit, okay?"
People were giving you weird looks but you didn't care. You just gave the duck a piece of bread that he dipped in the lake before waddling back to you so he could eat it beside you.
And how can I move on when I'm still in love with you?
You met those green eyes while singing the particular line. You couldn't read it, it had too many emotions for you to decipher. You saw her smile faltered though. You gave her a small bittersweet smile as everyone around you was singing along to the song and nodding their heads to the beat.
'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
"Where the fuck is Y/N, Wanda?" Natasha asked, barging in the younger redhead's room.
Wanda's head snapped to her door. She saw Natasha was holding the letter you left in her room over and over again, memorizing every sentence. A few tears escaped, but she immediately wiped them away. She saw how the 'Love Always, Y/N.' was smudged, like it got wet from a teardrop.
"What do you mean, Natasha? I thought you knew she left. She's gone, Nat. She left for a no-contact mission, even Fury doesn't know when she'll be back." Wanda said flatly, standing up to kick Natasha out of her room.
"Why'd you care anyways? Miss her?" Wanda said sarcastically with an eye roll.
"She didn't tell me." Natasha murmured, stepping out of the room.
"Why would she? You broke up with her, remember?" With that, Wanda closed the door to her room, making sure to lock it.
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
You walked around the park, even walking the streets where you two would 'window shop' but you end up buying her everything she looks at. Your feet stopped when you saw the familiar ice cream parlor on the corner of the street.
You remember taking her there on your first half-anniversary, right after you two finished a mission. The mission was rough, it didn't physically hurt any of you but it did take a toll on your mental states. You wanted to cheer her up and distract her so you made up an occasion to convince her to go eat ice cream.
Policeman says, "Son, you can't stay here"
I said, "There's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year.
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go"
Your eyes met Steve's and he gave you a small smile. He remembers it too.
It was your first winter without Natasha. You were sitting on a swing in the park right in front of the compound. No one else was there except you cause it was cold and snowing really hard.
You felt someone sit on the swing beside you. It was Steve. He gave you a small comforting smile, nodding his head to greet you.
"You can't stay here all night, Y/N. It's cold, you should come in." He said in a low voice, trying to stay as casual as possible.
"I'm fine." You said, giving him an unconvincing smile.
"You're still waiting for her?" He asked. You looked at him but he was staring ahead.
You nodded timidly. "Always."
There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world
"You're my world, Natasha." You murmured into her hair. You were cuddling in bed, her head on your chest.
She looked up at you, her ethereal green eyes staring up at you, filled with adoration. She smiled, that same smile that never fails to make your heart flutter no matter how many times you've seen it.
"I love you, детка." She whispered as you leaned down to press a soft kiss on her lips.
"I love you more, my Natalia."
Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move
When the last note ended, some were clapping, some were silent and looking at you in worry. You furrowed your brows, realizing a tear was currently rolling down your cheek.
You saw Clint giving you two thumbs up while Wanda was smiling sadly at you. You tried looking for your redhead, but you couldn't see her anywhere. Even Bucky wasn't there.
You bit your lower lip, trying to control your emotions. Did they leave together? Were they currently having the time of their life in Natasha's bedroom? Did Natasha bring Bucky to the rooftop like you two used to? Why did she leave?
You sighed and decided that you're going to take her absence as an answer to all your questions.
She moved on.
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syneilesis · 4 months
Text
[fic] if only for a moment
if only for a moment
Love and Deepspace | Rafayel (Qi Yu) x Main-Character!Reader | T | 3.6k words | ao3 link (with correct formatting)
Rafayel waits. And waits. And waits.
A/N: Another LaD fic!! This time it's Rafayel. Several elements of this fic are inspired by and loosely based on his story anecdotes and bond story, plus that Deep Sea card line backdrop. So more spoilers in this one, I'm afraid. I think you need to be aware of them in order to follow the flow of the fic. But if not, here's what you need to know: basically Rafayel accepts a visiting professorship at the University of Linkon to reunite with the MC/you. And the prose poetry interspersed are loosely situated in the Deep Sea card lineup setting (you can search in YouTube for the scenes. This one is a brief glimpse of the scene). That princess/knight(??) dynamic is yum yum.
If possible, please read the version on AO3. I formatted the prose poems there as if they're really prose poetry, so I'd appreciate it if you check that out. (Though there isn't too much difference between the formatting here and there, I did make the effort of coding a little 🥺)
Anyhoo, hope you enjoy, and I am sO STOKED FOR THE OFFICIAL RELEASE. rip my wallet 💸😭
JUST LOOK AT THIS MAN AND BELIEVE
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There’s a type of berry in a distant land that produces a rare shade of ink that matches the color of your eyes. It takes a hundred of them to create the right hue and volume for the art that he wants to make. It comes to him in a dream: endless desert, then fireworks of verdant sparks that coalesce into stem, leaf, and, finally, fruit. Rafayel remembers that land, so much different from the iridescent blue of ocean underwater, and the acrid gold of the barren desert. His mouth filled with the succulent sweetness of the dream, the lingering sandpaper roughness of the berries on his fingers. He already knows the name of the artwork even before he’s begun—Waiting, Missing. The ache in his bones gaining form, an intangible thing taking flesh.
+
Under the ocean surface, time is muted, a deafening thickness that surrounds you with its ambiguity. On land, however, it is linear, and fast, and in a matter of blinks, Rafayel’s visiting professorship nearly wraps up.
He’s only glimpsed you once or twice. Thrice at most. The university is big, but not big enough to warrant a dearth of fateful encounters. The first time he saw you it was at a coffee shop: walking along with your friends outside, your voice mellifluous and festive wafting through the trellis of the café entrance. You were talking about him—well, about Lemuria to be specific, but these days any talk of Lemuria inevitably draws in his name.
He’s committed your schedule to memory, and yet it just seems impossible to capture a moment with you. Even just a brush of shoulders, or of sleeves—an asymptote of contact. Just navigating around your orbit, but never truly meeting.
What would it be like—finally talking to you? You in front of him, face to face? Rafayel imagines the ache of waiting fading into the background until it’s completely gone. He yearns for that feeling, the release of it. A conclusion—or maybe even a beginning.
+
i. take my hand, he told you under the glow of the lustrous moon, the only source of light that contoured the secretive valleys of his face. i want to show your highness something. there was a country, he said, beyond the undulating monochrome of the desert, blanketed by lush trees and shrubberies and flowers that buildings were made in betwixt and around them—a nation of trailing and winding architecture, a marriage of the natural and the manmade. you wanted to ask why he’d planned on taking you there, and the only answer you got was a curt turn of his head and the profile of a masked man layered by shadows and distance. it would have been nice, you thought, if the moon poured light upon his hooded gaze.
+
Eventually he begins to frequent the café. Twice a week at first—he doesn’t want to come off strong right away, of course—and then making his way up until he’s hanging out there more than his own studio. He schedules his visits around your classes, always during the ones when the probability of you dropping by the café is high and he can ‘coincidentally’ be around the same area. It’s gotten to a point that Thomas calls him out on it, and nags at him to focus more on his painting. The next exhibit is immediately after his visiting professorship after all.
“From where I’m standing,” Thomas says, “you’re not painting at all.”
Rafayel ignores him.
Five minutes later, he says, “Not painting is part of the painting process.”
Thomas rolls his eyes, but he leaves him to it.
At the café, Rafayel attracts curious looks. A few attempt to approach him, but he pretends not to see them. They linger around the periphery, like moths to flame.
And then something happens: the entrance door chimes, and you swan into the coffee shop, earphones and denim overall skirt, the kind of rosy-cheeked image Rafayel finds on teen magazines, wide-eyed and earnest. You fall in line and order when it’s your turn, and your eyes sweep across the packed café searching for a vacant seat until they finally land on him.
Rafayel’s heart stumbles.
Up close, the baby fat on your cheeks still gives you the appearance of being younger than you actually look. You turn a polite smile his way, and his heart stutters again—but this time it is taken as a warning.
“Hi,” you say, tentative. Any hint of recognition absent. “Do you mind if I sit here?”
+
ii. you're counting the steps of your inevitable parting. you're at the edge of the desert, far away from your home and its familiar scents, oriented towards a direction that promised a future sad memory, the gentle warmth of his hand, the downward denial of his gaze. this longing that grew out of your bones, aching during cold, aching during heat, aching when he looked at you with such tenderness he had to hide it through the sharp tug of your joined hands, the long strides that opened up a lonely distance. intimacy was dangerous, knowing was dangerous, the bowels of his heart like a solitary flower on a high peak. what would you do to such loneliness?
+
Memory isn't always an infallible thing. The human brain cannot hang on to every moment of your life, though Rafayel wishes it were so. But still—to think that you would forget him, and it hasn’t even been a century. You were like a phantom thief stealing his heart in the night—no recourse, no resolution.
To wait is to be in agony, the burn of yearning locked within the heart. Rafayel has been waiting for a long time, and the only memory scorched in his heart is fire, the blaze and its blinding, all-consuming want.
What would you do to such want?
+
You have a blurry childhood, Rafayel discovers. After the first Wanderer descended on Earth, the incident strummed your memories like a stringed instrument that tired of the same chord, over and over. It had bothered you at first—not being in control of your own memories—but eventually you had learned to live with it.
“Grandma and Caleb—my childhood friend—helped me through the process,” you tell him, stirring your iced mocha with its straw. “I owe them a lot.”
Eyes cast down, but still the melancholy shadows remain in your expression. Rafayel folds his arms on the table, and leans closer.
Around them only a few people occupy the coffee shop at this time. How fortunate for Rafayel to catch you during your break while every other student is trapped in class lectures.
“There’s no use in dwelling upon what's already happened. Even sharks have to give up when their prey escapes. When you remember, it will be all the more joyous, no?”
The smile you give him is crooked, disbelieving.
“If I remember.”
“You’ll remember.” Because there’s no other choice, for you and for him. Rafayel cannot bear being shelved in the history of your smile and happiness. Waiting can only be endurable if there’s an endpoint.
+
In his studio, Rafayel begins his next painting.
+
iii. the berries tasted sweet, with an edge of sourness that clung to the bottom of the tongue. it had the exact shade of your eyes, a detail that rafayel brought up the moment he plucked it from the shrub. raising it to align with your eyes, comparing them with his artist's meticulous gaze. maybe when this is all over, i'll go back here again to extract ink from these berries, and paint a portrait of your highness using these to color your eyes. he never showed you any of his paintings, merely mentioned them in passing, and you constructed a dream of him from the throwaway words that left his covered lips. i'm not used to sitting for so long, you reminded him, and he glanced at you, then at the berry between his fingers. my memory is enough, then handed you the fruit.
+
In the few weeks of meeting with you Rafayel forgets that his visiting professorship is ending soon and he has to give out his last lecture. Thomas had asked him what his topic would be. At that point Rafayel had no answer. But now he has.
“I’ve been hearing you talk about Lemuria every now and then with your friends.” He props his cheek on his hand, tilting his head slightly and giving you a charming smile. “Interested?”
You blink. “How did you know?”
“Oh, I’ve seen you a couple of times here, and I happened to hear your friends chat about my lecture. Your points were almost accurate, I’m in awe.”
“The visiting professor—that’s you?!”
Rafayel pauses, the slosh of his drink nearly spilling on his frozen hand.
“You didn’t know?”
Sheepish, you say, “Honestly, I didn’t make the connection. Is that why plenty of people have been glaring at me as of late?”
He releases a frustrated sigh, eyes rolling heavenward.
“In any case, my final lecture is on Friday next week. It’s titled “Memory and Meaning in Lemurian Art”. Why don’t you drop by and listen, and you can tell me what you think afterwards.”
You retrieve your bullet journal to check your schedule. It’s colorful, filled with stickers and doodles that Rafayel finds endearing. Then the excited moue on your face drops into a frown, and Rafayel can foresee the next words that will come out of your downturned lips.
“I’m sorry,” you say guiltily, “but I have a major test that day, and I need to get a high score in order to pass the course.”
Rafayel exhales, long and weary, but ultimately shrugs off the apology. “What a shame, but I forgive you. Just don’t fail your exam or else my magnanimity would be all for nothing.”
+
He calls Thomas that night.
“I’ll disappear for a while once the professorship is over.”
“Hey, wait, what do you me—”
“You’ll be happy to know that this is for my next painting.”
A beat. “Okay … but for how long?”
“That’s the question, isn’t it?”
Then he hangs up.
+
He’s trying, he really does. The lecture ends to a resounding applause, and it’s mechanical how he answers the questions posed by the audience. But he’s trying, he’s trying. There’s no specter of you in the sea of faces in the auditorium. You’re at the other end of the university compound, sweating your way through your exam. He genuinely hopes you’d pass, for your sake.
Thomas had booked his flight to another country, where he’ll traverse to a land that he’d visited many times in his dreams and had woken up with a filmy, sweet-sour tang at the roof of his mouth. He’ll leave the morning after the closing dinner party the faculty has prepared for him. There isn’t time to pack much, and no time to tell you goodbye.
Rafayel guesses that it’s only fair: how would you feel waiting for him at that café, the chair across you empty, only the sunlight pooling from the window as your companion?
+
iv. parting, somebody once said, is such a sweet sorrow. much like those berries in that ever-green nation, a lingering sourness remained underneath, the sting of it reminding you every now and then. he was already mourned for even before he left. tell me what it's like—the ocean. he was elusive, untouchable in his grief. you'd heard through whispers, the story of his migration, the drowning before the drying, the unwanted journey. grief brought him to you and grief would steal him away from you, you knew, down to the cells of your body and the hopelessness in your blood. —and yet. and yet you wanted to have a taste of it, anyway.
+
The ever-green land is no longer green, or lush, or alive. Time corroded it into memory, sepia-faded, wizened. Past. The berries he’s searching for don’t grow here anymore. Everything here is empty, barren, helplessly so.
Rafayel hasn’t accounted for such development, but he should have known. Disappointment stings at his chest, and bitterly he turns away and stays at the next town over. At a family-run restaurant situated near the outskirts, he looks over the wide windows, across the highway road, beyond the jagged horizon. The painting won’t be finished, then. Another tragedy, pressed flat next to the forgetting, to the waiting, and his home.
The chef personally serves him his order and, after a shuffle of hesitation, brings up a question.
“Young man, you came from the direction of the old country, yeah?”
Rafayel meets his inquisitive gaze. “Yes, why?”
“It’s been a while since we had someone visiting that place. There’s nothing in there anymore, it’s been that way for years. Why did you go there?”
Rafayel is reluctant to say, but at the guileless set of the older man’s face, he concedes.
“I was looking for berries. The ones native there. They produce a shade that I need for my painting.”
At the mention of the fruit, the chef’s expression lights up. “Oh! I see, I see. You’re in luck, son. We grow them here at the farm. Plenty of those for everyone. How about I give you some? It’s rare meeting someone who still remembers the old country, it’s almost fate. How many did you say you need?”
Fate. Just like the time of your first meeting, as if the universe had gifted you to him. Just like the time of your parting, of your forgetting, of his waiting. Fate as a connection from you to him, red and burning brightly.
He doesn’t want to seem eager, but he knows he’s failed from the way the chef toothily grins at him.
“A hundred or so.”
The chef falters at that, jerking slightly back. But he accepts it with a nod, an avuncular smile making its way across his kind, powdery features.
“That sure is a huge number, but I think we can work something out.”
+
His painting takes a month to complete, inclusive of the time spent making the ink from the acquired berries. Sometimes, Thomas watches him paint, quiet in the background. His stays usually don’t last—a quick flash that Rafayel nearly misses, or deliberately ignores. But during the final stages of the painting process, Thomas hands him the exhibit details.
“I’m just thankful you’re on time for this one.” He sighs, relieved, then leaves.
Alone, Rafayel creates. Brushstroke after careful brushstroke, each varying by pressure and angle. He lets each layer of paint dry before moving onto the next. The berry ink—the color of your eyes—the solely different element of this painting. Center, central. The focal point. The beating heart. The years and years of waiting and longing. The form and the flesh. Alive.
This, too, is an endpoint.
+
v. can i see your face, just this once? your hands grazed his mask like a ghost wanting to touch. rafayel stayed still beneath your desirous fingers, observing, waiting, his own fingers twitching towards his dagger. even in the parting he could not let go of this distance. hopeless, hopeless. your highness would get nothing out of seeing my face. he's wrong, his eyes never left your face, and he's wrong. he didn't stop you from your grasping of his mask, and him—finally—bare and beautiful yet a little sad. you're wrong, you said, tracing his slightly parted lips with a trembling finger, you're wrong. it is everything to me.
+
The gallery is packed. No surprise there. It’s almost boring, in a way. Waiting, Missing hangs at the farthest hall in the floor, special and intimate as it should be. Thomas knows him well; otherwise, Rafayel would have whined at him to hell and back just so he could be granted this demand that is in reality a mandate.
He’s hiding from the throngs of journalists and art critics alike and sequesters himself in a corner that has a clear view of the painting. Loosening his collar and tie, Rafayel breathes and closes his eyes, leans tiredly against the wall. A few more minutes, and he’ll slink out of the building, reputation be damned.
He melts into the shadows whenever somebody passes by. He has neither time nor energy interacting with people today. Watching them through half-mast eyes, Rafayel stays in his secret place and studies with weightless detachment the people looking at the painting.
He’s made a bet with himself about the opinions of his followers and admirers. Who thinks what and why. It makes for great entertainment. The last time, a fresh-faced critic praised Rafayel’s technique as “innovative and a soul-rending reflection of the prodigy’s character.” He had laughed and laughed for hours until he couldn’t breathe any longer.
Another walks by, and before Rafayel retreats further into the corner, he glimpses a familiar gait and a familiar face.
His heartbeat races. He’s never told you that he’s holding an exhibit today. After the professorship Rafayel failed to maintain communication with you, convincing himself that it’s for the best that he protect you from afar that day onwards. It didn’t help that he had to leave as well. At the same time, you never made an effort of reaching out, and Rafayel thought that it was back to square one again, that waiting, that yearning.
But here you are right now, elegantly dressed, like someone gliding out of a dream. Rafayel swallows, his hands shake. You do not have someone else with you, and your eyes are brightly focused on Waiting, Missing, and for a fleeting moment your expression flickers into longing, strange and old and battered and sad, that it compels Rafayel to take a step forward—to you.
“Hey.”
The curious look vanishes; left no traces in your delighted face, as if it wasn’t there in the first place. “Rafayel!” you exclaim. “Long time no see! Congratulations on the exhibit; these are all beautiful.”
Outwardly he smirks, belying the torrential emotions he’s currently going through. He cants his head a little, works his charm on you. “Impressed? No need to hold back your compliments.”
Laughter, prismatic and crystalline. “Yes, yes. Especially this one—Waiting, Missing. What an interesting title. At the center, what paint did you use?”
Ah. Rafayel inhales before answering. “It’s actually ink. I had to make it from a hundred berries. It was a tedious process, but I wouldn’t use anything else. It has to be this, you see.”
“Whoa, no wonder you’d been radio silent all this time. You were creating this masterpiece.”
He hums, afraid that, if he speaks, he’d reveal too much.
“Well …” You throw a playful glance at him. “Shouldn’t we celebrate your success?”
His breath catches. “I—”
Before he manages to finish the sentence, a journalist calls out to him and that summons plenty more, swarming him with no chance of escape. It pushes you out of his peripheral vision, and Rafayel wants to shout your name, but you smile and gesture at him to entertain them first. You mouth, I’ll be back, and wander around other paintings some more.
When he finally succeeds in shaking the journalists off, he seeks you out and stumbles upon you near the exit, where there’s fewer people to pile on him.
“Excellent,” he says, sidling up beside you. You turn to him and smile, and there’s that lightning-flash of something again. For one unbelievably surreal instant, Rafayel thinks that despite your hazy memories, maybe you’d been waiting for him all this time, too.
And that thought emboldens him, moving closer and closer until your bodies almost touch. An asymptote of contact. But this time, he has mustered the courage to close that unbridgeable gap.
Rafayel offers you his hand. “Let’s get out of here?”
You stare at his hand then at his face, his eyes, and a meaningful moment stretches between you and him. But even before the idea of retracting enters his mind, you grab his hand joyfully, grinning ear to ear. His heart warms, full with everything.
You squeeze his hand, ready to go. “Lead the way, then!”
+
vi. a kiss is a greeting and a goodbye, and rafayel tasted of ferocious tides even if you'd seen them only in dreams. his eyes closed, as though savoring his last moments with you, guarded till the bitter end. would that i could ask you to stay—with me. but he shook his head—a final rejection. maybe in another life. there was nobody to watch you cry, in the after.
+
Rafayel is working on a new painting—a portrait this time. The model squirms on his couch, obvious about the discomfort of posing for too long. He huffs a laugh to himself, hidden by the canvas strategically placed between them.
“I heard that,” you grumble.
“Shush, you’re breaking my concentration.”
“If that already breaks your focus then I pity the rest of the art community.” A beat, then: “Is it done?”
“Patience, my dear muse. You need endure it a little more.”
“Hmph, fine. But after this you’re treating me to an all-you-can-eat buffet.”
“All right, all right.” He shakes his head, fond. “My muse, so demanding.”
Something sweet touches the edge of his tongue, succulent with a hint of tartness. Like longing. Except now, it’s layered with something new and exciting. Something like a new beginning.
In the far distance, the sea murmurs, lit fire by the setting sun.
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jinkicake · 1 year
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inappropriate affairs
Inappropriate places he likes to fuck you. 
Itto, Ayato, Thoma, Tighnari x Reader
A/N: I apologize in advance, this is not nearly as smutty as I wanted it to be. It takes me like 300 words to set up the scene and then I end up getting too lazy to finish it looooollllll,,, i’ll do better i promise (honestly this is not the first tighnari smut ive written.... i have an old draft from when he first came out where he chases you and then fucks you teehee)
WC - 2.3kish
SMUT // NSFW ((reader w a pussy))
~~~
Arataki Itto
“Itto, I swear to every archon that I will kick your ass.” Despite your threats, Itto continues to run his large hands along your sides. There’s a heavy grin spread across his lips as he cups your hip and brings you between his spread thighs. You tightly grip the bars of your cell but your strength is no match for an oni’s. 
Yes, a cell since Itto landed the two of you in jail again.
“Easy there,” He laughs loudly, shoulders shaking as his head tilts back against the stone wall of the empty establishment. Ushi moos loudly outside the window, no doubt spilling where every and any exit is to escape from. “don’t be mad at me, pretty-”
You forcefully slap his hand away, swatting at his wrist with a wave of anger that rivals the electricity cracking above from the clouds. 
“Ushi, go stay with Kuki.” You whisper yell through the open window covered with bars that you can’t fit through. The cow gives you a determined nod before wandering off to where the rest of the gang must be. You would also be there if Itto had kept his hands to himself. “We are here because you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants, you understand that, right?” Itto nods eagerly and you can tell that he isn’t listening to a word you are saying. He’s staring intensely at you, more specifically at your arms crossed over your chest. If only the leader would have been staring at the officials in front of you instead of your ass then neither of you would have been caught and placed in this predicament. 
It’s hard to remain angry as you glare at your boyfriend, you have some sort of idea about what it’s like being distracted by obscene clothing. But, your shorts are nothing compared to his bare abdomen on display every single day. Even now, you find it difficult not to let your eyes drop to his defined muscles and the large tent forming in his pants. 
“If we fuck right now, you better stay quiet.” Just like all of your threats to the oni, this one went completely in one ear and out the either. 
“Archons, Itto, shut up!” You screech as the large man plows you from behind. Your grip on the iron bars of the cell starts to falter as his thick cock penetrates deep into your cunt. It’s a miracle that you can even stand up straight with the way your legs are shaking. Itto is in his own world as loud moans spill past his lips and ricochet off the walls. Like all things about him, Itto is loud (especially so during sex). His intense thrusts and fast pace causes the entire holding to shake and in the back of your mind, you fear that the whole place is going to come crumbling down. That would be one way to exit. 
“Can’t help it,” Itto grunts as his hands tighten on your hips, his head falls back as his balls slap against your ass. The sharp pain makes him wince and ultimately brings him more pleasure than before. “fuck, baby.” With how he is already groaning, you know Itto will cum soon. You don’t think about the consequences of it, not about how his cum is going to leak out of your cunt and dry between your thighs or how you’ll have to face public officials with his cum spilling down your legs.
You’re never going to get out of here. 
Kamisato Ayato
“I’m bored. Let me have my fun, darling,” Ayato will be the death of you, you’re sure of it. He’s impossibly stubborn and has a burning desire that only you can satisfy.
 But, you can only calm him down so many times per day.
“Your next meeting starts in twenty minutes, I am not trying this right now,” You snap and push away his wandering hands. It will take you at least ten minutes to get your kimono situated properly once again after the damage Ayato has currently done to it. He longs to touch your thighs, hold and squeeze the delicate sums of flesh.
“Thoma, bring in a blanket for the kotatsu.” Ayato in the end always gets what he desires. “It’s quite cold today, isn’t it?” His innocent smile doesn’t go over your head and you watch him with a stern glare as he innocently drinks from his cup.
Thoma greets the two of you with a warm smile and announces the arrival of whom you’ll be spending the next meeting with. The thick blanket is spread across the large table, covering your body from the waist down but Ayato makes no move to turn the heater on.
It comes as no surprise when you feel his touch on your ankle a handful of minutes later. The boring meeting has just begun and he’s starting off with innocent touches. You make it a point to ignore him and try to focus on the commissioner in front of you. Ayato’s gentle strokes of his fingers turn into sensual rubs, a touch that you know all too well. The pads of his fingertips are soft and the pressure is almost like a phantom touch that you would know even through the darkest nights. You know exactly what Ayato is touching in his mind and the innocent look he sends your way does little to calm you down.
You have to bite the inside of your cheek hard to hide the insult resting on your tongue. Ayato’s fingers continue their trip up your legs and between your thighs. When he finally gets to the soft flesh, he gently squeezes with his strong fingers. You know he wants to sigh in relief and react dramatically for the sake of amusing you. For once, you hand it to your husband for being able to remain so calm. 
He remains stoic the entire time he drags his finger between your folds, even when his middle digit flicks your clit back and forth just to see you squirm. You wish you could punch him. There is no way you can hide how you’re squirming and no amount of tightly pulling your thighs together can get him to stop. Every time you do something he doesn’t like, Ayato teasingly dips his finger into your entrance. He gives you a breath of relief before ripping it away to taunt you again. It’s a miracle you haven’t started to pant. 
You can’t focus on the meeting anymore or what the commissioner is saying. You try to ground yourself with your drink, to wet your throat but even that is impossible as Ayato brings another finger to rub your clit. The pads of two of his fingers cover much more than just one and your hips shift to grind back against them. 
“Commissioner, I’m terribly sorry to cut this meeting short but I just remembered I have something I have to finish,” Ayato announces and glances your way, letting your eyes meet as a smirk takes up his face.
Your husband is on you the second the door closes and signals the other man’s departure. 
Thoma
The Komori Tea House is surprisingly empty, today is a slow afternoon. You find that along with Thoma, you’re the only two people inside the house.
Even Taromaru is out and about, most likely doing something for the Kamisatos. 
It’s no surprise that you start to get handsy with your boyfriend after discovering this revelation. 
“We can’t!” Thoma whispers, quietly exclaiming his pleas while trying to push your hands away. “Not here, what if someone comes back?” There is some admiration in his restraint, it almost makes you a little envious. 
“Then we’ll stop when we hear them,” You breathe against his throat, lips ghosting over his collarbone. Thoma starts to squirm under your touch and nearly backs up against the wall. There’s an empty space in his lap with your name on it. “we can stop, can’t we, Thoma?” The housekeeper swallows dryly, he can’t guarantee that he could get his hands off of you once he finally starts to touch you. Not even Raiden herself could pull the two of you away from one another. “I know I could,”
The hand you had been teasing him with leaves his thigh to rest on his abdomen as you lean over in his lap. You bring yourself to your knees to level your faces and Thoma fears his heart might be beating out of his chest. He turns into nothing but a puddle of mush when you tease him too much. 
However, if you tease him just enough then his restraint will snap like a flimsy string. That’s exactly what you’re looking for today.
“Come on, Thoma,” Your murmur of his name becomes muffled with a kiss as you push your lips against his own, placing the softest amount of pressure. Beside you, Thoma’s hands turn into fists against the tatami floors and his shoulders begin to lightly shake. 
Through the kiss, he becomes much more responsive. Thoma starts to kiss you back with fervor, it’s an intensity that pushes you back against the floor with him crawling over top of you. One of his hands holds your wrist above your head while the other loosely grips your jaw. You don’t have any complaints, and if you did then Thoma would be sure to swallow them all. Your eyes roll to the back of your head at the cool feeling of his necklace against your throat. He licks you clean, inserting his tongue into your mouth for a messy kiss that makes you roll your hips up to meet his own. You gasp and whine once you feel his touch through his tight slacks.
“We’re doing this here?” He pulls away to clarify, panting against your lips as he lowers his body to completely cover your own. “You really want to take me here?” Thoma’s hands become just as seductive as your own once were, and trail up your sides to cup your breasts. His eyes darken at the sight held within his palms and the sweet smile you’re used to seeing on his face is covered with a serious stare. 
Oh, he’s going to fuck you so good.
In the empty Komori tea house, Thoma will have you screaming his name so loudly that anyone outside can hear. He’ll fuck you against the floor, the table, even the thin walls of the house. He knows you’ll be good for him the entire time since you were the one who started this. You have to take responsibility for what you’ve caused him to do. 
Tighnari
“Are we seriously doing this out here?” Anxiety floods throughout your body as you glance over your shoulder to look at Tighnari. The same Tighnari who is currently undressing you. His delicate hands roughly pull and tug at your jacket until the offending piece of clothing falls to the forest floor. “Tighnari,”
Despite your protests, the man continues his advanced work. 
“I don’t see anyone around, what’s the harm?” His snappy tone only ushers you to move faster with removing your shorts. 
“I’m leaving my shirt on,” You bite back and Tighnari rolls his eyes at the dramatics, purposely yanking on your shirt for emphasis. “really?” The grass underneath you is soft as your research partner pushes you on your back. Gently, he lowers you to the ground before situating himself between your thighs.
“Let’s just get this settled and then move on, okay?” His ears flatten on his head as blood pumps through his veins, he needs you so badly. It’s a miracle that his body hasn’t started to shake with the primal urge to fuck you (not that he can control it). “I’m eating you out first,”
“Are you kidding me?” You barely have the time to refuse, to spit all the curses that you have saved for him before Tighnari lowers himself between your thighs. “We don’t have time for this!” Despite your screeches and protests, he ignores you. Tighnari wholeheartedly ignores you as his mouth waters at the sight of your bare cunt. He can barely help himself.
His tail whips around before wrapping your your ankle, ultimately pulling your leg over his shoulder to keep you still in place. 
As much as he hates to admit it, there are some instances where Tighnari needs your help. There are instances where his hand just does not do what it is supposed to do and he craves the touch of his sweet partner. Being Tighnari’s personal cum bucket was not in your job description as fellow forest watcher but, you very quickly learned to love it. You have yet to understand his obsession with pleasuring you when it’s his own needs he should be satisfying but, you don’t really want to know his reasonings. If it has anything to do with the enamored way he looks at you while fucking your brains out, you want no part in it. 
“Archons,” You fist your hands in the grass at the feeling of his adamant tongue diving between your folds, his licks increase in intensity no matter how loud you get. In some way, you’re sure that Tighnari eats you out for himself. He enjoys himself too much while pleasuring you, his eyes shut and he looks to be in an utter state of bliss as he dips his tongue into your cunt. His moans rival your own, gentle and quiet in their own way but still loud enough that the sounds ring in your ears. 
On top of his head, his ears flick in content as you pull on his straight hair. It makes him act messier with you, sucking on your folds just for show before flicking your clit back and forth with his tongue. 
Tighnari wants you to cum, he needs you to cum just as badly as he needs to cum himself. 
His gloved hands keep your thighs spread apart so he can continue to work his touch against your clit, sucking and lathering the swollen bud with his spit before kissing it in a way that makes the pit of your stomach drop. 
The entire time, you ignore the word ‘mate’ that constantly drops from his lips.
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pedgito · 5 months
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𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐒 ╳ SERIES MASTERLIST
Chapter Two: Chivalry, Secrets & Hot Tubs (Week One)
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[strangers to friends to lovers, age gap (56/mid 20s), forced proximity, no outbreak]
(Series) Content Warning: a very, very lonely joel miller. copious amounts of lusting, tension, joel is an excellent cook (food, alcohol, ect), hot tubs, impromptu snowball fights, awkward situations, deep talks and tragic backstories (specified within chapter warnings, deeply depraved smut/sexcapades and the inappropriate use of a dining table (also specified within chapter warnings), nicknames of endearment (no use of y/n)
quick note: i love all the reblogs/feedback and that you're all enjoying this as much as i am <3 and a huge thank you to @swiftispunk for being the best and looking over the first chapter for me, i am completely scatter-brained and forgot to mention this when i posted last monday, so tysm han and pls go check her out if you haven't! & follow my fic update blog (@pedgitos) and turn on post notifications so you don't miss any updates/posted fics!
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Chapter Summary: Settling in is easier than you expect, but it does come with a fair share of challenges. A week filled with getting to know one another and some moments shared, your week doesn't end on the best note, leaving you with a choice.
Chapter Warnings: (8k) no outbreak, grumpy!Joel, domestic shenanigans, Joel being naturally assertive, cooking dinner together, reading is good at encouraging Joel, one hot tub & two stubborn individuals, also...one bed trope incoming
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You wake up refreshed, like you’ve been born with a new reverence for life—alright, it might be a bit of an overstatement but it’s a wonder what a decent night of sleep could do and you’re feeling that this idea, playing house with a stranger—though it wasn’t much like that anymore—wasn’t the worst choice. And it reminds you of Joel, having left him in the chair last night, not wanting to burden him but you can only imagine the ache in his bones, his back, the discomfort of sleeping in a chair all night. 
You lay for a moment, bleary eyes adjusting to the early morning light. The morning sunshine wasn’t strong here, blanketed out by a stark white snow that covered the ground, it muted out most colors and left a cool, but bright blue that shined through the window above your bed. 
It was peaceful. No cars, no buzz of strong electricity outside your window, people and their idle conversation a few floors down from your apartment window. Not even a bird, really. But, there’s a distinct clearing of a throat from the living room that has you stirring in bed, rising lazily as you move with the same enthusiasm. 
It was a fresh week. The first official week of your vacation and you were going to start it off on a good note, clambering out of the bed and slipping on a pair of fluffy slippers to keep your toes from freezing off, not bothering to glance in a mirror on the way out—not that you needed to, it didn’t matter. It was early, you were still trying to shed the sleep from your body and you could care less. Plus, it wasn’t like an old t-shirt and sleep shorts was some foreign concept. 
When you peek around the corner, arms crossed tightly over your chest, you can spot Joel’s head tilting to one side, hand kneading at the taut muscle in the center of his back where his neck starts to begin and then you’re stuck watching as he stretches his arms out wide, working out all of those muscles. Every single one. And you’ve been silent for far too long.
Yeah.
Clearing your throat softly, you approach from behind and keep your distance, announcing your presence like you hadn’t been lingering for a minute or two already. 
“Morning,” You greet politely, resting your weight against the edge of the island, taking in full view of a freshly awoken Joel, eyes still puffy from sleep.
He looks very…gentle. Surprisingly, so. It softens his rigid demeanor significantly and you have to silently talk yourself out of glaring at him for too long, “I didn’t want to wake you—I’m so sorry.”
Jeez—you two are getting good at that. Apologizing, afraid to step on each other’s toes. 
“Not your fault,” Joel massages his bicep with the heavy pressure of his thumb, looking slightly pained as he rolls his shoulders, “I didn’t realize how tired I was.”
“Yeah, but I forced you to stay up, so—”
“You didn’t,” Joel quickly shuts you down, “I’m a grown man,” there’s a laugh hidden somewhere in there, but Joel continues, “don’t blame yourself for my own irresponsibility.”
It’s too early for this. You force on a fake smile, void of any real emotion at this hour, running on fumes and the smell of coffee. Speaking of—you sniff, eyes searching for the smell like a dog would track a scent, and Joel is already pointing in the direction you should be looking for when your eyes land on him.
“I already finished it off on my own,” Joel admits, pointedly taking another long sip before resting the mug back on the counter, “I can get another pot goin’ if you need it.”
There’s an inclination to let him, seeing him assert himself so easily and offer, but you shake your head, “I think I can handle a coffee maker,” You assure him, meandering around the kitchen in search of the coffee grounds, ignoring Joel’s tracking of your movements, waiting for a moment to interject and point you in the right direction. You spot them a moment before the urge comes with a soft aha!
“I needed to make a drive into town,” Joel tells you after you’ve gone through the steps of starting your own batch of coffee, “pick up some more food, figured you might wanna tag along.”
He’s not asking, only assuming. But to be fair, his assumption is right. 
“Sure,” You reply cooly, pouring yourself a hefty cup of coffee to sip on, letting your body take hold of the caffeine, “...how far away is the closest town?”
“Hour and a half.” Joel answers and you almost have the nerve to go wide-eyed on him, but then you remember just how deep into the woods you both were and that it was necessary.
Truthfully, there was a more concerning matter at hand.
“How’s your music taste?” 
Joel has the gall to look offended by the question.
“I’m leavin’ in thirty,” Joel ignores you, “don’t think I won’t hesitate to leave you here.”
Okay, noted: Joel wasn’t much the morning person you assumed he was.
-
Joel immediately realizes how little disregard you have for touching things that aren’t yours when you reach for the makeshift box of cassettes tapes placed in the backseat of his truck—the thing was old, riding on it’s last leg, but it was something Joel would cherish until it was unsalvageable, torn seats, dents, and all.
“Ain’t gonna find anything you like in there,” Joel assures you, “None of that pop stuff they’re always playin’ on the radio these days.”
The tables turn on him suddenly, seeing your face contort into a similar emotion that he gave you earlier. Bewilderment, shock, annoyance. You scoff at the comment.
“Says you,” You retort back, sifting through the different cassettes until you find Joel trading glances between you and the road in front of him, almost worried you might chuck his collection out of the passenger side window, “Joel, eyes on the road.”
Joel enjoys a lot of country, which isn’t a total disbelief. But, it wasn’t something you shared the sentiment on, flicking away a handful of country artists you’ve never listened to and reaching some of the good stuff—older rock music, some classic 80s, and late 90s.
You pluck one out carefully, prying open the cassette case with gentle hands before sliding the tape in, allowing the low hum of the music to fill the car. There’s a brief moment of respite before Joel smirks to himself, thumb tapping against the steering wheel.
“What were you saying?” You look at him pointedly, shifting slightly in your seat.
Joel looks away briefly, biting back a chuckle, “Fine—I’ll give you some credit. Foo Fighters aren’t terrible, but you skipped right over Bruce Springsteen, so…”
You scoff in disbelief, “You don’t get to criticize me with that atrocious collection of country music,” You stare down at the box in thought, eyes brimming with a mischievous that Joel knows of immediately, he’s seen it before. Not with you, but he knows, “you know, maybe I should just do you a favor and—”
You can barely get a hand on the window roller before Joel’s hand is gripped tight over the box, trapping your other hand in his grip as he warns, “I’m not above leavin’ you stranded in the cold.”
Your grin is nothing but evil and Joel finds that there’s something about you that infuriates him in a way that is hard to describe, not in anger or rage, but a level that he thinks he could match. A game of back and forth that he could play into—but you’re quickly relenting regardless of the threat and placing the box on the floorboard.
“Already tried that,” You retort, “didn’t work too well for you, did it?”
Fair is fair. Joel doesn’t poke the beast.
Instead, he takes the chance to ask a question.
“So, what exactly was your plan?” Joel asks curiously. “You comin’ out here with no car and all?”
You shrug nonchalantly, “Didn’t really have one, but I would have figured it out.”
Joel shakes his head dismissively, subtly resembling a face of disapproval.
“Hey, you don’t get to judge me, okay?” You don’t wait for a response, “You can have whatever assumptions you want about me, but don’t try and act like you know anything about me.”
It was another reminder. Joel didn’t know you, but you didn’t know him either. You reign your frustration in slightly, quick to defend yourself but aware that not everyone handles confrontation in the same way—if Joel was quick to anger, you didn’t want to stoke the fire. 
“I’m not,” Joel argues, his voice calmer than you expect, thinking back to the saddled rage his voice held the night you arrived, the threat that lingered with every word, “I’m not, alright?”
“Then stop that.” You comment, waving your hand in a vague motion toward his face, “Stop looking at me like—”
“Like what?” Joel interjects, eyes more pensive as he looks over at you.
“Like—like I need a fucking lecture on life or my choices,” You tell him, a hint of pleading in your voice, “I’m not some kid who doesn’t understand how life works.”
“You’re not a kid—” 
“Good, great that we established that,” You lean back in the seat more comfortably, arms crossed over your chest as you keep your eyes on the snow covered road, “now shut up so I can enjoy the music.”
Thankfully, Joel does just that.
-
Conversation falls flat until you arrive at the store in town a while later, Joel fetching a cart and pushing it your way before he stops you suddenly, hand over your own again—a touch that normally you would flinch away from, but he’s already done it once before and the thought doesn’t even cross your mind.
“I’ll catch up,” Joel tells you, “I forgot somethin’ in the car.”
You glance back briefly, knowing that the walk isn’t that far. 
“Oh, I can wait. It’s fine.”
Joel doesn’t say so much, but the look in his eyes goes a long way. A silent plea for you to go with it and don’t ask questions—again, you didn’t have any right to. You nod quickly and wander off toward the store as Joel trails away.
It’s then when your phone starts to vibrate away in your pocket, the sudden availability of service sending a barrage of notifications your way—you’re terrified to take a glimpse, but you do anyway. It should be no surprise to bear witness to the many, many texts from your mother wondering where you’d run off to, but there’s a tinge of guilt settling in your stomach.
You send her a quick, dismissive text to explain that you were fine and enjoying your time, but no elaboration on the things she wanted to know, because really, there was nothing to tell. And if you did decide to expel the details of your trip, mentioning that there was no boyfriend and it was just a stranger you met in the middle of the woods, well…that wouldn’t go over smoothly.
You also find a quick, heated moment of frustration to send an unpleasant text to the owners of the cabin, still polite enough that it wouldn’t warrant your ability to work things out—and you decide that calling would reach them faster, that somehow they’d magically find a way to appear and fix things, but there’s no answer. Only a voicemail that gave vague details about being away on their own vacation.
Just your luck.
Great. You sigh deeply, shoving the phone away into your pocket and returning to the land of obliviousness as you step inside the small market.
You fend for yourself for a while, throwing several random necessities in the cart as you go, enough sustenance to spread over four weeks and manage meals the entire trip, also a few more bottles of alcohol don’t hurt, looking for a few hard liquors that catch your eye and adding them to the growing supply of items. 
You’re lost in concentration of the ingredients on the back of a box dinner when Joel’s voice startles you back to the real world, eyes jumping up to look at him and he spots the panic immediately.
He nods slightly when you recognize him, “Sorry, keep forgettin’ how jumpy you are.”
“You’re just ridiculously fucking quiet,” You tell him, breathing out a long sigh as you toss the box into the cart, “everything alright?”
“Yeah,” Joel assures, doesn’t elaborate. Okay, cool. You weren’t going to pry, no matter how much your instincts told you to. He scans the cart casually, “Mind tradin’ off?”
You lend him the lead and follow, watching as he pointedly finds things, like he’s reading off a list in his head and moves around the store with a purpose. It’s only slightly annoying that you have to keep pace with him, but he’s suddenly speaking out to you as he’s glancing over something on the bottom shelf, “Are you allergic to anything?”
“No,” You responded, eyebrows knitting together in confusion, “Why?”
“Grab some of that fresh rosemary,” Joel says, pointing out somewhere behind you and you whip around, eyes searching furiously and coming up empty, “—find it?”
You’re a little dumbfounded as you search the shelf of fresh herbs, Joel’s heavy footsteps approaching behind you as he reaches over your shoulder and plucks the exact thing he’s looking for with ease, “Hey, I had the right idea.” You defend, noticing how amused he looked at your befuddlement, “And you didn’t answer my question, either.”
“Well,” He tosses the small, plastic package in the cart, still tucked up at your side and you can feel his body heat, the solid wall of his chest against your shoulder, “don’t like the idea of accidentally killin’ you if I cook something you’re allergic to.”
“Well, what if I’m lying?” You challenge and Joel shoves you aside gently to grab the cart, hands on your shoulder as he shifts you away—and when had things gotten so…touchy?
Truthfully, Joel finds it easier than telling you, noting how quickly you quiet down when he asserts himself and does rather than asks. He knows if it made you uncomfortable you wouldn’t have had a problem speaking up immediately. 
“Look at me,” And there’s a deep timbre to his voice that has your chest sparking like a fire, eyes connecting with Joel’s for longer than you’ve ever allowed and it’s like he sees right through you, but he’s searching for something, “—you’re not lyin’.”
“But, if I was?”
Joel nearly leaves you in the dust, but turns to look at you with a subtle grin.
“Well, now I know you’re not.”
The ride back is easier, much easier—and Joel doesn’t fault you when you fall asleep halfway through, the heat of the car and the low hum of the music like a perfect mix as you curl in on yourself. Joel wakes you with a gentle hand on your shoulder when you finally make it back, allowing you a moment to shake the grogginess away with a word over his shoulder as he opens his door.
“Careful over that patch of ice on your side,” Joel instructs, “gettin’ colder so it’s slicker than it was a couple days ago.”
Careful. You roll your eyes carelessly, nudging the door open with your shoulder and hopping out, boots hitting the hard ground—your first mistake was underestimating the slickness and Joel’s warning, because the moment you take your first step it’s all downhill. Literally.
Luckily though, like a moment of divine faith as you pray that you don’t hit the ground, Joel is right at your back, arms slipping under your own as he plants his feet firmly and catches you. One arm crossing somewhere over your midsection and the other wrapping around your shoulder, a large palm holding you steady as he helps you back to your feet. You can feel him on the brink of making a comment, eyes looking down tenderly into your own—
“Don’t ask.” You warn him bitterly, face scrunched up like a kicked puppy, shrugging him off lazily. Joel doesn’t argue, making sure you’re steady before he allows you himself to fully let go.
Joel shakes his head subtly, a nuisance of his, and rounds the back of the truck to reach for the bagged groceries, “Fine, I’ll just say I told you so then. How’s that?”
Worse. 
-
Joel never asks for help, doesn’t even seem bothered when you stand there aimlessly, watching him stow away the groceries like he already had a game plan and you feel slightly useless, but it does give you a good opportunity to watch without any explicit reason or excuse. 
There’s an obvious purpose to Joel’s movement, clear that he’s used to doing a lot of heavy lifting and keeping up, probably prefers organization over clutter, and has a certain inclination to do things himself, always. And you can’t help the way your gaze clings to his face, noticing something a little off—not good or bad, just slightly different. You hadn’t noticed it this morning, but with the extended amount of time your eyes lingered on him, you realize he’s cleaned up a bit, shaved his beard down to near stubble, a subtle difference…but you notice.
You’re not sure how long you’re stuck in this state, arms resting against the counter as you stood there, practically useless, thinking about what Joel looks like on a regular basis, when he isn’t cooped up in a cabin in the dead of winter. You want to see that side of him, crave it. It’s an insane thought that doesn’t make sense, eyes widening suddenly at the realization of the thought you’re having—
“You still with me?” Joel’s voice calls out in the haze, muffled slightly as you come back into focus, eyes landing on him. “Think I lost you there for a minute.”
“Oh—no. I mean, yeah. I’m still a little tired, I guess.” It’s a bold face lie, but Joel seems to believe you. “Why?”
“I was sayin’ I need to go chop up some wood for the fireplace,” He explains again, “then you went all wide eyed…”
“Oh, okay,” You nod jerkily, “...do you need help?”
Joel immediately declines. No surprise there.
“Why don’t you get some sleep?” Joel suggests, “I can manage just fine on my own.”
Sleep sounds great, but it doesn’t happen. 
You try—you do, but the splitting of wood, the strong crack of the axe catching the wood outside of your bedroom window, it isn’t exactly soothing to the ears. So, you find yourself wandering into the kitchen, peeking between the curtains with a wild curiosity that reminds you of when you were younger and trying to catch a peek of the cute boy next door, a bashfulness replaced with a deep, insatiable hunger that you didn’t know existed until this moment. 
Joel was attractive, you could easily admit that. But, seeing him now, it’s a done deal. There was a deep pit of despair in your mind and you were stuck at the bottom with no way out.
It’s almost abysmal how easy he makes it look, the axe he’d brandish as his weapon of choice against you swung over his shoulders, the unfortunate lack of skin stretching over taut muscles as he went through the motions, covered up by thick layers. But, you get the idea. 
There’s a slight pout forming on your face before you catch yourself.
He slices full power through the wood like it was eager to give way to him. You also find that his face tugs up in a scowl after every swing of the axe, a soft sigh of exerted energy as he tosses the logs to the side and starts up again. You could watch for hours. But, you settle for the few more minutes he spends collecting the wood before you’re scrambling back into your bedroom like you had been there the entire time.
Unfortunately, Joel isn’t oblivious. Still, he spares you the embarrassment. 
There was no reason for him to entertain whatever he thought might be going on. He couldn’t.
-
The next few days are uneventful, though that was to be expected. It allows you time to really settle in, usually curled up on the couch watching the fire crackle away until you thought your eyes might melt away, or reading a book that Joel always seemed to be trying to catch a peek at. There was an innocent curiosity there that you could appreciate.
You also learned that Joel only took his coffee one way, offering up your services to refill his cup while you refilled your own, sugar lingering over the rim and he’s quickly pushing away the small container of crystalized goodness. 
“Joel, come on–” You grimace but relent, placing the cylinder of sugar on the counter.
“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.” Is all he offers, almost challenging you to take a sip.
You accept, obviously. But, it isn’t without consequence.
The moment the bitterness hits your tongue you’re scrambling away, forcing the mug into Joel’s waiting hands and spitting out whatever putrid liquid remained in your mouth in the sink.
It’s the first time Joel actually laughs, a full on chuckle that isn’t very receptive on your end.
Joel apologizes with dinner that night, a gesture that wasn’t expected or needed, still you’re thankful nonetheless. But, it offers you the realization of just how good a cook Joel can be.
Steaks grilled to a perfection that only came with repetitive practice and learned techniques, vegetables sautéed and seasoned to an enjoyable level, and a side of pasta that if Joel told you he made from scratch, you would’ve believed wholeheartedly if you hadn’t seen him dump the entire box of pre-made pasta into a pot of boiling water.
You’re halfway through dinner, chewing thoughtfully on a bite when you finally break the long, but comfortable silence that had blanketed over you both.
“So, Joel,” There’s a tone to his name that catches his attention, eyes flicking up to meet yours mid-bite, “what do you do for work?”
At this point, your nosey tendencies take hold.
There’s a scrunch to Joel’s nose before he speaks, almost as if he considered feeding you a lie alongside the beautiful meal he’d made. He settles for a simple answer.
“Uh, carpentry.” Joel tells you after a long pause, “I—build stuff for people, businesses sometimes.”
That explains some of his sturdiness, his practiced strength that came from, probably, years of hard constructive work and building. It also explains why he’s also working away at his hands, rubbing out the stiff joints and knuckles.
“I know what carpentry is, Joel.” You deadpan, but there’s a playfulness lingering in your voice. 
You assume he’s used to explaining himself often, which is why he forces it on you so easily.
“And you?” Joel asks suddenly, “College? You’re about that age, right?”
You snort softly at the tone he offers, slightly patronizing, but all in good fun.
“I’m taking a semester off,” You answer indifferently, remembering how disappointed your parents had been about the ordeal, but you were suffocating, “I’m not sure what I want to do anymore.”
“Nothin’ wrong with that,” Joel assures, “can’t fault you either. Never went to college so I don’t have an opinion on it.”
There’s no judgment on your end, but for the sake of conversation, you bite.
“Any reason?” You ask curiously, wondering if you'd receive the similar sentiment that it’s all just bullshit.
“Didn’t have the money,” Joel answers simply, “didn’t have the grades, either. I thought I could start my own business out of carpentry, but…”
But…you lean into the table slightly, hanging on his words.
“You need a lot of money for that,” Joel finishes, “and, I mean, I’m livin’ comfortable now, but that idea took a lot of money that I didn’t and still don’t have.”
“So, you waste it on month long vacations in the middle of the woods,” You surmise humorously, nodding in approval, “can’t say I blame you, either.”
Joel shakes his head in amusement, chewing around a bite as he speaks, “Your turn.”
Right. An eye for eye. A question for a question. He's watching you expectantly, waiting for you to give a response to the same question you asked him. 
“Oh—I work out of this bookstore in downtown Austin.” You admit, finishing up the last few bites of your food, scraping the plate nearly clean. “It pays the bills and then some. I like it.”
There’s no compliment needed for the food, all the evidence of it gone. But, you feel the need to appreciate it anyways.
“Thanks for this, Joel.” You speak again, softer this time. 
“It’s no big deal, darlin’.” Joel assures you, holding up his hands in a feeble defense at the compliment, clearly something he doesn’t welcome easily. “Just food.”
“It’s been...months,” You tell him, “since I’ve had any type of home-cooked meal. Take the damn thank you, Joel.” 
He smirks at that, seeing the threatening fork raise before you utter those final words.
“You’re welcome.”
And he means it.
You force Joel to stay seated while you clean, knowing it was the least you could do after he spent so much time preparing and cooking dinner. There’s a solid few minutes of arguing before you have to physically shove Joel back into his chair despite his protests, hands pressed into his shoulders as you threateningly speak down to him.
 “If you move, I’m locking your ass out in the cold.”
Joel wouldn’t mind, but you’re silently hoping that he’ll just listen.
After all is done, tossing the damp washcloth to the side, you sigh with a newfound relaxation.
There’s only one thing that might top off this night, making it almost the first perfect day here.
“That’s it, I’m getting in the hot tub,” You decide, squeezing tenderly at the tense muscles of your neck, thankful that the owners had a small alcove connected to the cabin that allowed for you to enjoy the hot tub from the safety of the cold, “join me?”
You’re not sure what inclines you to ask so openly, but you don’t second guess it.
“While I appreciate the offer,” Joel starts, “I don’t think I brought the proper…attire.”
He’s still seated where you had him planted and it makes you laugh softly at the idea that he was taking it seriously, which—yeah, you did threaten the possibility of hypothermia on him. 
“Fine,” You relent, rounding the corner of the island closest to him as you quickly call out over your shoulder, “but, there’s still a couple of chairs in there if you need the company.”
He didn’t need just anyone’s either and didn’t need, so much as wanted.
He wanted your company.
A while later, you’re already waist deep in the hot tub, figure hugging white bikini tied back securely, arms resting against the side furthest from the door as you press your chin against your forearms and staring out the wall of vast windows that line the room, allowing a view of the snow storm outside, coming down in a flurry that seemed to only be gaining in strength—and Joel, well, he’s still sitting in that stupid chair.
He’s allowed himself too much time in his own head, thinking over the events of the past few days. His call to Sarah was pleasant, a much needed moment of peace when he hears his daughter’s bright, hyper voice on the other end. When he doesn’t have her for the holidays, it’s hard. The calls are sparse, the communication is clipped, and it feels like he’s being forced away from her, knowing that she’s growing older every day. That he is growing older.
He’s allowed a lot of his life to slip away, when he wasn’t working to pay bills and put food on the table he was usually drinking, bar-hopping with Tommy at his old age to hide the pain he felt everyday, mentally and physically. There’s a problem brewing under his skin, using the company of his brother and alcohol to cope with loss he feels so viscerally everyday. The life he could’ve had.
He feels pitiful, miserable—only took this damn trip to get out of town by the suggestion of Tommy, away from all distractions, hoping for a refresh to clear his head. But instead, he met you.
He had no clue what the fuck to do anymore.
Joel’s never processed emotions well, feelings or anything thereof. 
But, here he was, lusting after you. 
He knows it’s the excitement, the taboo idea around sharing something special with a stranger. Someone who knows nothing about you, someone who doesn’t have the leverage to judge. Someone who doesn’t have to know about all the wrongs he’s committed and bad choices he’s made. 
You’re not privy to the fucked up version of Joel that belongs in his hometown, cooped up in his childhood home that he inherited from his parents, filled with too many now painful memories that he’d made with Sarah when she was younger—when he still had her.
He can’t help the way his mind races every single second of the day, constantly worrying, always trying to busy himself with something, anything to keep that lingering cloud of anxiety away. But, when he thinks about you, even something so mundane as the way you squint to get a closer look at a paragraph of the book you’ve probably read a thousand times, his mind goes quiet. 
Because, frankly, he’s fascinated by the idea of you. That maybe, just maybe, you weren’t actually real. He’s halfway leaning toward the idea that he’s had a full mental break and this is all an illusion he’s cooked up in his head, but then he reminds himself that you are just as full a human as himself. There is a reason for this, even if there had to be some other force at play. 
Maybe you needed this as badly as he did.
A fresh start, no judgment.
And that’s why he decides to follow you, the moment he catches a glimpse of you as you turn the corner to take the steps down into the room that connected to the kitchen, a full glimpse of skin and body that he’s tried to keep his mind off of, despite how openly you stare at him.
There has to be something there. He can’t have imagined all of this.
You feel his presence when the creak of wood gives him away, one hand shoved into his front pocket and his other arm helping him stay upright as he leaned against the doorframe. The steam billows and settles like a cloud over the bubbling hot tub but does nothing to hide how see-through your bathing top is and the slick slope of your breasts, his eyes trailing down toward the small bow that was sewn to the midpoint of your top and know he’s staring at your chest, very openly—Joel’s immediately regretting his choice.
Your eyes follow his but you dare not speak, afraid to startle him.
Now who was the jumpy one?
“Change your mind?” You ask curiously, shimming the expanse of the hot tub as you grab onto the opposite ledge, resuming your previous position, closer to Joel now. If you reached out you could touch the edge of his flannel and soak the trim, maybe even pull him closer, but you resist the urge. “It feels amazing. I’m serious.”
It wasn’t a ploy to get him in, but it wouldn’t hurt. He doesn’t respond, eyes staring at the soft wave of the water as it hits your side, his posture rigid. 
Maybe you’d broken him.
“Joel,” You call out with a soft nudge to his thigh, as far as you could reach with your fingertips, cutting into his line of sight, offering a friendly smile, “just strip down to your underwear and get in.”
“I don’t think—”
Oh, for christ sake. 
“You wouldn’t have come over here if you weren’t at least thinking about enjoying the benefits of the hot tub,” You argue, “so stop being grumpy and strip. I won’t even look.”
It shouldn’t sound as gritty as it does, a playful venom in your tone as you sink back slightly.
It makes Joel feel like he’s back in high school, flirting with who would eventually be his ex-wife and mother of his daughter, but there’s an assertiveness that intrigues Joel, your willingness to put yourself out there without fear. Take a leap, a jump, and hope that someone will catch you. 
Joel caught you, he just needed someone to catch him.
You spot his fidgeting, the wheels and cogs in his mind turning and he just needs that shove.
Just enough.
You rise over the edge, palms pressed flat to bear your weight and squeeze your breasts together, belly button nearly level with the water as you’re close enough to see the fine details of his face, giving him a look that Joel couldn’t deny.
“Get. In.” You stress the words, making direct eye contact. “You can thank me later.”
Finally, he moves. 
You sink back slightly into the pool and wade the water until you hit a corner, watching briefly as Joel works away at the buttons on his flannel, quiet air filling with an unspoken tension. You try to busy yourself with the view outside, something that didn’t require you to look in the vicinity of Joel for a second, knowing that the moment felt more intimate than it needed to. But, it doesn’t stop that sparse glances over your shoulder to check on him, now barefoot and pulling his shirt over his shoulders, the fabric pulling and obscuring your view of his face and his view of you, staring so starkly at him in that moment.
It shouldn’t surprise you, but it does. The freckles that speckle his shoulders, nearly invisible from this distance because of his tanned shoulders and the unevenness of the tan as it continues down his arm, varying in shades of intensity, undoubtedly from hours of working in the sun. There’s also a smaller patch of hair on his chest that with his short cropped beard, seems to be trimmed down too. His strong build doesn’t throw you off, though—solid muscle that flexed across his stomach as he yanked his shirt a little harder to get it over his head fully, not built in a way that rippled down his abdomen, but showed a sturdiness to his figure that had your body humming to a tune that reached down to your core, thighs squeezing together under the water. 
Joel passes the shirt off into a waiting arm chair, clothes slowly piling on the cushion alongside your towel and he pops the button on his jeans, still unaware of your…innocent observation. But, the moment the jeans stretch over his thighs you swallow a little too hard and you’re immediately averting your eyes when he looks up briefly. 
Like you’d been caught. 
Joel clears his throat like a warning, as if he hadn’t felt your eyes on him the entire time, and swings a leg over carefully, a view of the black briefs that molded to his skin perfectly and hugged his backside in a way that feels criminally illegal…and you’re staring again.
He hisses at the sudden change in temperate, but inch by inch he lowers and adjusts, eventually huffing out a low groan, eyes closed, when he finally settles on the seat inside of the tub.
Suddenly, this felt like a terrible idea.
“See?” You break the revered silence for him, “Worth it?”
“Almost forgot how you just bullied me in here.” He jokes—full on fuckin’ jokes before cracking an eye open to catch your reaction, a subtle look of disbelief on your face. “I’m kidding, darlin'.”
Your fingers tighten around the edge of the seat under the water and you smile, a half-hearted roll of your eyes thrown his way before you relax too, for a moment.
“This is so weird,” You speak softly, after a while, and Joel looks slightly puzzled as he opens his eyes fully now, perking up slightly as he adjusts himself, chest rising over the water slightly, his arms hanging over the ledge with his fingers gripping the ceramic—and you’re gaze is drifting again, mostly to his hands, but you mask it as you look away briefly, down the hall or out the window. Literally anywhere but Joel, “it’s just—not how I expected things to go.”
“You’re tellin’ me.” Joel replies with an underlying amusement.
As the quiet settles, slowly drifting closer to one side, where you originally were when Joel came searching for you—voluntarily, he lingered and waited, waited for the push you gave him—Joel joined alongside you, burrowing himself in the closet corner nook and enjoying the view in silence.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Joel comments, “everything alright?”
Everything was fine and you couldn’t make complete sense out of it. The ability to be so inherently comfortable with someone you’ve only known for a little under a week, the attraction you felt despite your own rational thinking telling you otherwise, the urge to connect openly and without fear of judgment. It terrifies you.
“Can I ask you a question?” You ask quietly, “Like…a real question, not those superficial ones that we’ve thrown at each other.”
Joel doesn’t like the sound of it, but there’s also the inclination that he could feed you a total lie and you wouldn’t have any idea otherwise.
He nods, fist resting against his cheek as he turns to look at you and suddenly the pressure is on, your heart racing in your chest at his sudden, full attention.
“Earlier…you said you forgot somethin’ in the car,” Joel’s fist clenches unknowingly under the water, an instinct to bury his reaction, “I know it isn’t my business, but I was just curious what is was.”
Joel, against every fiber in his being that tells him to deflect, gives you a straight answer. It’s almost startling how easily it comes out, like he’s lifting a weight off his chest that he’s carried for years.
“I had to make a call,” Joel admits, “to uh—my daughter, she’s back home with her mom.”
Your brow pulls together in confusion, “Wait, are you married?”
Joel somehow amidst the heaviness of admitting his truth still laughs, quick to defend himself from your next question.
“Oh, not at all. Never, actually.” Joel responds, “We…I never married her mom, it was obvious pretty quickly we weren’t going to work well together.”
The answer is simpler than you expect, different too. Part of you wondered if he was pleading his own case to the owners and was just as unsuccessful as you, but this is much more vulnerable.
And despite your ability to lie, and his own, neither of you can force it.
You don’t pry further, feeling like it may push things too far. Too personal.
“Okay, your turn.”
“Do I scare you?” Joel asks suddenly, almost like he’s been anticipating the moment too.
You’re almost sure the expression you return makes you look insane, feeling the implication that he might, that he thinks—it’s so far left field that it throws you off.
“No—no,” You quickly reject any lingering doubt he has, “I mean…the first night, maybe. But, now…no.”
“Oh.” It’s all Joel can muster, unsure of why he was expecting a different answer. That you would say yes and whatever shroud of thought he had about this moment you were sharing was only out of fear, that you were just trying to be polite. 
“Look, I get jumpy because you sneak up on me,” You answer, “and you have this…presence about you,” Okay, not the best wording, “not scary or anything, just…strong.” Big, like a wall. Like, if anyone were to ever approach you wrongly, Joel would attack without question. And maybe the fact that he would do that should scare you, but instead, it entices you.
Joel sits with the implication, burdened by his own mind. 
You can see him lost in thought, speaking with a comforting surety, “Thank you…for telling me.”
The truth. Thank you for telling me the truth.
The next stretch of time, what feels like an hour, is spent in a comforting silence. You think Joel is nearly falling asleep but then he moves, make a comment about how the snow won’t let up and eventually you’re forcing yourself out of the hot tub, reaching over the side to snatch your towel and sending all of Joel’s clothes descending to the floor in the process and as if you had a death wish on Joel, your ass pops up at an angle that is physically impossible to look away from.
Joel is a gentleman, he swears. He was raised to respect and care and always put women first, but there’s a split second where he can’t pull his eyes away, feels like he’s just caught a glimpse of something he shouldn’t have, but then you’re turning your head over your shoulder and you definitely catch him—you could ruin the moment and say something or you could ignore it.
Fortunately, you save Joel some embarrassment, covering it with a sly smile as you apologize for dropping his clothes and take the final step out and wrap the towel around your body.
“Shit,” You quickly realize that in the midst of your pushing Joel to join you that he didn’t have a towel, “stay here—I’ll go grab you a towel.”
Joel wasn’t eager to move anyways, admittedly. Sporting half a hard-on under the water, he wouldn’t subject himself to the scrutiny of your gaze or what implications it would make, thinking every horrible possible thought to will it away—luckily your timing is perfect. 
You quickly gather his dropped clothes and pile them in the chair as you toss the towel his way, ignoring any and all chances to glimpse at his wet body, back turned as you quickly excuse yourself away in fear of the idea that you might say something unforgettably stupid.
-
The walk to your separate bedroom is quick, swift, like a desperately needed escape. 
But, as fate would have it, the moment you open the door and wretch the towel away from your body there’s a loud pop! to your left and a spark on the outside that has you halfway on the floor and slamming into the wall out of both shock and an attempt to shield yourself from whatever unseen force was at play, yelping out loud in the process.
From an outside perspective, you can understand why Joel doesn’t hesitate to come running.
He runs straight into your back, bare chest pressed against your know bare shoulders and leaving you half-dressed in front of him, scared out of your wits and willing to grab onto whatever was nearby to keep you upright—fortunately, Joel’s arm is the perfect anchor as your hand wraps around his wrist and squeezes.
“What the hell?” Joel inquires, slightly out of breath as he searches your face for any signs of injury, “What happened?”
You both look at the culprit—the heated window unit that was no longer expelling heat, and while the cabin was still heated, it didn’t reach the bedrooms well enough that you weren’t shivering without some type of additional help. You sigh in frustration, eyes turning up towards the ceiling as you feel no shame, too frustrated to care as you lean into Joel’s chest.
“Shit.” It’s all Joel offers as a solution, not that you were expecting one. But, still, it would be nice.
“Yeah, shit.” You echo, pushing away from him suddenly to gather your damp towel and a change of clothes, padding your bare feet toward the living room, but Joel is grabbing your wrist before you get too far from him.
“Hey, woah,” He starts in a calmer tone, “you can take my room—I’ll drive into town tomorrow and see if I can get ahold of the owners, we’ll figure something out.”
“I already tried calling them,” You admit, “Earlier. Straight to voicemail and something tells me they won’t be answering their phones until after the holidays.”
Pulling away again, you continue your way toward the living room and gather a few pillows and blankets, tossing them on the larger couch beside the fireplace. Joel doesn’t seem to entertain the idea, following on your heels as he gathers each item you throw in that direction and you finally reach a point of full, unrestrained frustration. 
“Joel, cut the shit.”
“Take the room,” He offers as a counter, “I can sleep on the couch.”
With his back? Not a chance. But, he offers anyway.
“Fuck off,” You chuckle bitterly, “I’m not forcing you out of the bedroom.”
“Then it looks like we’re sharin’ the living room.”
You close your eyes, toss the blanket aside and breathe, clenching and unclenching your fists in an effort to not completely lose it on the man standing opposite of you.
Chivalry be damned, Joel wasn’t giving in.
Fine, two could play at that game.
“I’ll take the bed.” You quickly agree, but there’s a lingering ultimatum.
Joel waits, sees the thought brewing behind your pensive eyes.
“But, so will you.”
“Now—”
“No,” You interject, putting your figurative foot down, suddenly vividly reminded of your vulnerability as you stood there, still slightly damp and in a swimsuit that did nothing to cover your body—it was the reason Joel’s eyes were so pointedly stuck on your face, never lingering elsewhere, “either we both sleep in here on the couch or we share the bed.”
Joel’s hands shift to his hips, towel tight around his waist and you’re too annoyed to admire the way his muscles tense and flex with the movement, the underlying thickening desire settling beneath the surface.
You match his stance, daring him to challenge you.
A small part of you wants him too.
“Anyone ever told you you’re damn stubborn?” Joel asks, trailing behind you as you enter his bedroom, a clone of your own but with a small bathroom attached.
“All the time.” You answer truthfully. “I’m going to shower and sleep—no funny business.”
Meaning if Joel did sneak away into the living room to offer up the full amenities of his own room, he would feel your wrath tenfold.
Joel resigns to the idea and gathers his own pair of fresh clothes before disappearing into the bathroom down the hall, leaving you both to a moment of levity.
There’s no anticipation to the arrangement—but the idea is there, burrowing into the back of your mind. 
You’re sleeping with a stranger…someone you knew little to nothing about, but it was your choice. And you trusted your gut. 
Joel was safe, he was good. 
You relax under the spray of hot water, a different heat to the one you enjoyed just a while ago, the type that allowed your thoughts to roam, and you laugh softly at the sight of Joel’s shower supplies, knowing he was stuck with whatever you brought—it wasn’t something you thought about in the moment, but there’s a brief realization that he was sharing a moment similar to your own, scowling at the sight of your fruity scented body wash that you left on the shelf there. It wasn’t a huge deal, Joel wouldn’t fuss over it. 
But, it also lends your mind to roam more.
As if his bare chest wasn’t already at the forefront, and his eyes as they had stared at you so unabashed until the moment he was caught, all innocent looks with deeper intentions that invaded your mind like a plague.
You were so fucking frustrated—annoyed with him, the state of your life, this stupid vacation. With the suds gone and the water drowning out the silence you allow yourself one—just one moment of selfishness...
And as if the house was the biggest tattletale of them all, the floor creaks on the other side of the door.
“Joel?” You call out curiously, as if an intruder in the middle of nowhere was even likely.
There’s several seconds of silence before Joel finally answers.
“Yeah?”
“Your body wash sucks.” You goad lightly, hoping to ease the earlier frustration that had grown between you both, and while you can’t see him, you can hear his laughter on the other side of the door.
“Can’t say yours is any better.”
You smile to yourself, the way he responds with fondness that he tries to hide.
When you finish up and dress, peeking your head out before you move to open the door fully, Joel is already on his side, turned away. It was obvious that he didn’t want to be bothered. The small blanket of division rolled and wedged in the center of the bed like a barrier, a warning. 
Keep your distance and you both may manage to survive the rest of this vacation.
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runningfrom2am · 3 months
Text
cold nights // part nineteen
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summary: you showed him colours he knows he can't see with anyone else.
pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader
wc: 3.3k
masterlists / nav / requests
tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.
a/n: i'm sorry it took me so long to post this omg i am behind on writing bc i'm so sick but i'm also trying to get ahead on requiem BUT-
Important Announcement!!:
cold nights will officially have a season 3! i wasn't sure but i had a good idea for what the epilogue would be and then i realized it would be so much better as another fully developed idea. so, that will be coming soon!!
my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)
send me any and all of your thoughts! here!
series masterlist // playlist
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Coryo smiles as you run up ahead of him, picking up his pace slightly and dropping his bag next to yours.
Some of the others are already stripped down to their bathing suits and running down the dock. It is beautiful here, not that he ever doubted you.
He watches as you peel off your dress, another short one similar to the one you had worn for most of the time he'd known you. This one wasn't sewn in at the middle, so you can slip it quickly over your head. Your bathing suit must have been homemade, too, and it allowed him to see how the bruises and scratches on your back were all but healed while you toss your dress to the ground. He notices quickly that it was exactly the same as Lucy Gray's, maybe your mother had made you matching ones. That's so sweet.
Your skin looked so beautifully soft- just like it should have the first time he saw it, spare for the scars on your calf and your arm, it was just what he imagined.
You kick your shoes off, and the wood of the dock is hot against your bare feet as you run down to the end, diving head-first off to the side to avoid jumping right onto any of your friends.
It seemed to Coryo that you weren't afraid anymore as you briefly looked back at him while you were running. The excited scream you let out when you lept from the dock made his heart flutter. This is exactly what he had wanted, from the very beginning.
When Coryo jumps in behind you, you can hear his shout and feel the water shift around you as his body breaks the surface. You turn under the water, its clarity allowing you to see where everyone is. You loved this. The memories of this lake kept you safe, almost. You can hear muffled laughter above the water, deciding to take your time before coming up for air. You didn't need it just yet.
You swim away from everyone deep under the surface, scanning the lake floor for anything interesting. Really, it was just sticks and rocks and mud, but one day you may find something else exciting, but not today.
"Where is she going?" Coryo comments, watching your body as you kick away deeper under the water.
"Wherever she wants." Lennox answers plainly, treading water as he stares at him.
"She's looking for secrets." Maude Ivory giggles, splashing him in the face. At least she gave him somewhat of an answer.
He quickly lifts an arm to block the wave, but it fails miserably. "What kind of secrets will she find at the bottom of the lake?" He coughs out, wiping the water from his eyes.
"Once we found a watch." Lucy Gray shrugs, looking from him to you. "Which is odd because we didn't know anyone else knew about this place. The secrets are what happens when we aren't here."
You hardly noticed the lack of oxygen until it almost felt too late, quickly swimming up and pushing your hair out of your face so you don't inhale it by mistake.
"Anything good today?" Lucy Gray shouts over to you as soon as she's noticed you've come up.
"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so!" You pant, pushing yourself through the water back toward her.
"So, that's a no?" Sejanus asks and you laugh, shaking your head.
"Just rocks and sticks." You explain, joining them again and bumping shoulders with Lucy Gray. "Some weeds, if that's your fancy."
"Oh, yes, that's right up my alley." Sejanus chuckles, cupping his hands to block out the glare of the sun as he looks down into the water anyway.
"I've never been to a lake before," Coryo says, breathing heavily as the waves from the kids splashing keep coming up too close to his face.
"What? Really?" Lucy Gray and Sejanus ask in unison, and you smile at him.
He nods, eyes locking with yours. You feel the need to say something. "Is it everything you dreamt of?" You ask.
"Just about." He grins.
"Oh? What's missing?" You giggle.
Oh, only being able to hold you without retraumatizing you.
"It's not that anything is missing," He comes up with as an excuse. "There's just more birds than I expected."
"Oh, yeah. They like it out here." You hum, looking up at the trees while Lucy Gray whistles out a tune for them to mimic. You smile. "Why, you don't like birds either?"
"Never been the biggest fan, no." He chuckles.
The birds echo her song back to you repeatedly. Coryo turns around to watch as if there was anything to see besides these black birds flitting around the trees and above the cabin. "What kind of birds are they?" He asks. "I've never seen that before."
"We call 'em Mockingjays." Lucy Gray tells him.
"'Cause they'll mock ya if you mess up the song!" Clerk Carmine jumps in, climbing onto Lucy Gray's back under the water.
"Oh, I wouldn't know." Your friend teases him, gripping tight onto the boy's legs as he starts to shout. He knows what's about to happen, and clearly you do too as Coryo watches you and your brother quickly swim out of their reach and closer to him.
You laugh, watching as Lucy Gray takes a big dramatic breath in and sinks under the surface of the water, pulling CC down with her as he screams and splashes.
The sun dried you quickly after you decided you had had enough of the water, climbing back out onto the dock and deciding to just lay your blanket there to dry off on while you took the book and snacks from your bag.
Coryo had been sitting with Lucy Gray and Sejanus, but they were just talking to each other more than him. Not that he could have paid much attention. He was just watching you.
"Can I go talk to her?" He asks with little regard for the conversation that he was interrupting.
They both look over at him. "I mean, you could try. Would that be okay?" Sejanus answers, looking to Lucy Gray for confirmation.
"No. Let her have her peace and quiet." Lennox interrupts as he walks back up in front of them, pulling his shirt back onto his now fully dried skin.
Lucy Gray sighs."Just... Don't be stupid." She advises Coryo, nodding him on. "Len, we'll be right here."
Your brother shakes his head slightly, glaring between the three of them with nothing short of adamant disapproval.
Coryo nods slightly, taking the preferable answer by getting up and heading back down onto the dock.
Lennox looks back over his shoulder to where he just was with Maude Ivory looking for katniss, before taking Coryo's spot on the deck.
"Did she not tell you anything about him?" Lennox mumbles to Lucy Gray, eyes locked on his sister and her 'friend' as he stands over her. "No, she must have- because you were at The Hob last week. You saw it."
"I saw a girl with a lot of unresolved trauma have an episode." Lucy Gray explains, watching Lennox take Coryo's spot next to her. "He made a mistake, but he wouldn't ever hurt her."
Your brother opens his mouth to argue, but Sejanus interrupts. "I know it isn't my place, but Lucy Gray is right. He would sooner die than hurt her."
"Okay, well, explain how he's sitting right next to her when he's already hurt her so bad she may never recover!" Lennox whispers, gesturing to the dock as if they couldn't already see you there.
"I'm not defending anything he's done. That's not what I meant." Sejanus explains. "I just mean he would never do it on purpose."
"Accidents are clearly bad enough."
"Len, he just wants to make amends now." Lucy Gray insists. "And she wants that. I know she does, she's really trying."
"Listen, if it helps..." Sejanus starts, looking back out at you and Coryo on the dock. He can tell how nervous his friend is, watching you intently as he picks at the wood finish beneath him and listening to you talk. "He really loves her. I know it's not my place to tell you that, but it was bad when she was gone. He hardly spoke a word to anyone, he wouldn't put her book down- it was really hard on him. We weren't sure if she had been executed for cheating, and it was killing him to be left in the dark."
"That's not love, that's guilt." Lennox mutters, watching you closely.
"What's the difference between love and guilt?" Lucy Gray asks him rhetorically. "He wouldn't feel guilty if he didn't care."
"The difference is he wouldn't have come here and made the same mistake again."
Lucy Gray bites into her lip, slightly shaking her head. That was an honestly good point.
"I was in the arena, too. I saw what he did." Sejanus says after a moment. "He saved my life, it was my fault. It was shocking... you know, the overkill, but I can't say for certain I wouldn't have done the same thing. We were both pumped so full of adrenaline that I truly believe that's what it was." He explains. "I mean, I was behind him, so I don't know what she saw- but it looked like adrenaline to me."
"How do you think she felt?" Lennox asks, eyes wide. "She was in there for three days! You and him were there for what, ten minutes?"
"Wait..." Lucy Gray backpedals, looking at Sejanus. "Sejanus, what do you mean you thought he was executed for cheating? Like, in the games?"
Sejanus swallows, nodding. He looks over at you but quickly looks away. "Yeah, uh... Coryo told me that she used rat poison to kill two of the others. And he did something to keep the snakes from biting her, but I don't think he was caught for that."
Your brother and best friend look at each other like they'd just seen a ghost before their eyes simultaneously track to you. You were laughing.
"She didn't... She didn't tell me that." Lucy Gray says quietly. "Did you know, Len?"
"No."
"That doesn't surprise me." Sejanus shrugs and they both look at him, shocked and confused. "Well, she doesn't know either. I don't think, definitely not about the snakes, but she told the Dean it was salt. That I gave her." He laughs slightly at the end, but they don't find it funny. "By the time she left, she was fully delusional about it. She knew what it was, Coryo gave it to her to protect herself because he needed her to win. She was really upset by the insinuation that it, in fact, was not salt."
Lucy Gray and Lennox look at each other again, unsure what to say. It must have been worse than they thought. Regardless, they knew it must be eating you alive.
"Can I join you?" You hear Coryo's voice above you after about ten minutes of listening to the mockingjays sing Lucy Gray's song back to her as she sat on the porch of the cabin. The sun was so warm on your skin that you could have fallen asleep here if you weren't reading your book.
You squint against the sun as you look up at him. "Yes, you may." You agree, and you feel him sitting down next to you as the wood creaks below him.
You find yourself holding your breath, even as you return to your book to try and remain relaxed.
He's not going to hurt you.
"What are you reading?" He asks after a moment, thinking your arms must be asleep for using them to hold the book and support your weight for so long.
"It's called 'Much Ado About Nothing'." You answer. "Another Shakespeare piece."
"Do you like it?" He asks, lifting his leg to rest his elbow on his knee while you sit up, crossing your legs and letting the book fall into your lap.
"I do." You smile down at the page. It is much more lighthearted than Romeo and Juliet, as much as you would have loved to come home and drown yourself in your favourite book- the boy next to you unintentionally made it impossible. God, you were so embarrassed by the letter you wrote to him. Your cheeks flush just think about it. All you did by surviving was make everything weird.
"Another tragedy?" He inquires, attempting to read some of the words on the page as it's opened on your lap.
"No." You chuckle, shaking your head. "It's a romantic comedy, actually."
"Oh, wow. You changed it up?" He asks, only somewhat shocked. It would only make sense that you couldn't handle much more tragedy since you've been home.
"I did." You smile. "It's quite funny."
"Will you read me your favourite part?" He suggests, watching your eyes as they light up with excitement from the request.
"Okay, so..." You quickly flip back through the pages and into the first act, scanning for the lines you're looking for. "Okay. Here." You pretend to clear your throat.
"In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature." You recite, dragging your finger along the page so he can track what you are reading. You remembered it, but it might have been easier for him to follow that way.
Coryo watched you the whole time, and by the end, you were a giggling mess. You thought it was absolutely hilarious, and he smiles at that.
"What does that mean?" He chuckles.
"So," You laugh, a hand pressed to your chest. "Basically, she's talking about how she was arguing with Benedick and won. The punchline is that she let him keep one of his wits, because if she didn't no one would be able to tell him from his horse."
Coryo laughs at that, shaking his head. "That is good." He agrees.
"Isn't it?" You smile. "It's a welcome change of pace."
"Yeah, Romeo and Juliet was... yikes." He says, ticking his jaw and peeling up some of the wood from the dock between you.
"You read it?" You ask quietly, eyes widening as you look over at him. It shouldn't shock you, he told you he would, and that he even looked forward to it. "What did you think?"
"Of course I did," Coryo nods. "I really enjoyed it."
"It doesn't seem like it..." You laugh nervously, looking down as you flip back to the page you were on before closing the book.
"No, truly. I did." He insists. "Just... for lack of a better term, it was tragic."
"Yes, well..." You chuckle, shrugging slightly and tucking your book back into the bag next to you.
"It was heartbreaking!" He laughs suddenly. "And that's your favourite?" He looks at you then, head tilted as he slightly shakes his head.
"Okay, so," You laugh, rolling your eyes. You were used to defending this to others who have tried reading it. "That's what makes it so beautiful. It's so touching, they died for each other thinking they were in love, but they also hardly knew each other. It forces you to wonder what could have been, and I like that."
"Okay, well, you're right." Coryo agrees. "I didn't like the ending, but that's the point, I suppose. The rest was good, it reminded me a lot of you."
"I think I forced a bias onto you. My apologies."
"You didn't force anything on me." He smiles, shaking his head. "All I knew is that you loved it, and that made it so much better."
Your cheeks flush as you busy yourself by pulling out the bag of cherries. "Would you like some?" You offer the bag to him and he reaches in, taking just a couple out and popping one into his mouth.
"I finished it all before you left." Coryo tells you, and you hold him out another empty paper bag to spit the pits into.
"That good?" You smile and he nods.
"Can I..." Coryo starts, and you tilt your head at him. He doesn't want to ruin your day by bringing this up. Everything on your face shows hope, even excitement for what he is going to say. "If you can't hear this stop me, but the book made great company in the mentor hall."
For a moment, he saw nervousness flicker behind your eyes, but still, you nodded. You wanted to hear anything he had to say- you just hoped you could stomach it.
"Oh, that's fine. I'm... I'm glad." You try and smile, distracting yourself by popping a cherry into your mouth.
"I was alone most of the time. I didn't go home." He tells you, trying to say what he wanted but still be as vague as possible.
"It must have been so horribly boring." You laugh nervously, swallowing the cherry pit as you reach for another of the small red fruits, picking the stem from it and flicking it into the lake.
"I wish it was." He replies, watching you closely to see if and when he's crossed a line. You nod in understanding, and he takes a nervous breath in. "I... The alternative was that I got sent home like some of my classmates. I wasn't going to leave until I had to."
'Until I had to.'
So he was forced to go in for Sejanus. Why on earth would they not send peacekeepers? Why another child?
"I... I appreciate that." You stammer out, looking down at your lap, noticing for the first time that your hands were trembling. "That must have been uncomfortable. I apologize."
Coryo furrows his brow at you. "No, I'm sorry. Why would you apologize to me?" He asks. "I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. That I couldn't get you out."
"You did more than you had to." You say, voice quiet with your honesty.
"No." He shakes his head. "I had to do everything I did. I couldn't let you die."
"You saved my life, and... and-" It happens very suddenly when a tear falls down your cheek; you didn't even notice you were starting to panic.
"No, wait, I'm sorry, hey, don't cry..." Coryo says quickly. He wants to help, to do something, but he feels helpless. Again. He feels sick with the knowledge that he always says the wrong thing.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." You mumble, trying to wipe your eyes but you're finding it hard to speak.
"Don't be, please don't be sorry." He pleads with you, shifting so he's kneeling next to you, placing a hand on your back.
You almost jump away, head flying to look at him. He's just rubbing your back. He's only trying to help.
Instinctively, your eyes search for his. They aren't hard to find, and all you can see as you search them is worry. Nothing malicious. "I... Do you want me to get Lucy Gray? Or your brother?" He offers, grabbing your shaking hands in his free one. "Just take deep breaths."
You nod, scared to look away for even a second. So he has to.
Coryo turns back, swallowing his pride. "Lennox! Lucy Gray!" He shouts, drawing their attention quickly.
He accepted the berating he was about to get from your brother before it even came.
"What did you do?" Lennox asks him, forcing himself between the two of you.
"We were just talking and I think I said something- I don't know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." Coryo answers honestly, standing up and taking a step back.
You're watching him, intently, despite Lucy Gray taking over holding you and talking to you in hushed tones, trying to ease your mind.
"I'm okay." You tell her, nodding. You don't look at her, only watching him. Watching his eyes- but nothing changes. Baby blue. Worry. More worry.
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taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie ,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore
okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!
also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)
281 notes · View notes
totaly-obsessed · 6 months
Text
Opposites Attract
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Kyra Cooney-Cross x reader
-> Kyra joins Arsenal and is intrigued by their young, quiet midfielder
➳ Masterlist
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
The transfer window of the WSL was coming to a close, but that didn’t necessarily mean that everything was set in stone. It was Ian Wright who set the project “KCC to Arsenal” in motion – the people who had to do most of the work however were Steph Catley and Caitlin Foord.
It was their job to convince their fellow Aussie to join them in London. The youngster didn’t need much to be convinced, she was however interested in her new teammates, begging Steph and Cait for introductions.
She obviously knew most of the team already from watching them play the previous seasons and from stories but Steph obliged, while Caitlin excused herself. By this point they had gotten through most of the team, even the new signings when they came to the most important section, according to Kyra – the people her age.
“And then we have the younger ones – obviously the iconic duo of Gio and Katherine. They keep to themselves a lot though, and I am sure you noticed that neither got a lot of game time last season.” Kyra did in fact know that, already having done some of her own research. Gio’s TikTok page looked like she hung out with the blonde Danish girl a good bit.
“Teyah is the youngest, currently in recovery though.” Arsenal had its fair share of people going through rehab, among them Teyah Goldie, Beth Mead, Vivianne Miedema, Leah Williamson, and Laura Wienroither.
“Second youngest is y/n. Keeps to herself a lot, is quiet, and loves her books. Tends to be a little awkward at first.” The young Australian was curious now, she had seen you play - a fellow midfielder - but no matter how hard she tried, there was barely any social media content of you. Your personal account has just one picture with just you in it, which is the signing picture.
“Very close to Kim and Jordan before she left. The nicest girl I know.”
Kyra wanted to know just about everything, being incredibly interested in the mystery that was you.
Her signing was announced on the 15th of September – deadline day. You, like most of the Arsenal players, were in Germany at the Adidas Headquarters in Herzogenaurach – It was nice to be home again. During lunch, sitting beside Kimi you were nose-deep in your newest book when Caitlin and Steph burst onto the outdoor terrace “It’s official! Kyra is coming to Arsenal!” And just like that everybody was excited to meet the young midfielder everyone had heard so much about already.
Upon returning to London everyone met Kyra, who was already on the training pitch, waiting for her new teammates to arrive. Most of the younger girls immediately liked her, starting to joke around – and while the young Australian was incredibly stoked to meet you, she remembered Steph’s words ‘shy and awkward’. 
“Hi! I’m Kyra!” You sat next to the pitch, ignoring the break that was usually meant for drinks and reading instead. Your book was always next to the various bottles – Alessia had already tripped over it twice in her time at Arsenal.
“Hi – nice to meet you.” Your smile was a little crooked and unsure, not certain if the brunette would like to have her hand shaken. Kyra however, excited how she was, pulled you into a quick hug and promptly sat down next to you. She didn’t really say anything, just sat there while you read a few pages of your book – handing you a water bottle when Kim asked if you have had anything to drink yet.
The Scot waited for an answer but you didn’t hear her, too deep into your book. A soft nudge to your shoulder made you look to Kyra, who extended an arm with said bottle “You really should drink something.”
Yeah, the first time the two of you talked was awkward. But the brunette would not give up on you, getting closer to you day by day while getting to know your other teammates as well.
Not even two weeks after her signing Kyra was singing in the gym – loudly. While amusing, the sheer loudness the girl possessed, scared you a little. She and Caitlin were messing around on the ceiling-mounted rings, while Steph stood next to them filming the spectacle. In the background, the fans could see you just blatantly staring at the Aussies when Jen came up to you. “You know that you can just talk to her right?”
Your flinching showed the older footballer just how deeply you were distracted. “I don’t know what you mean.” And with that, you were off – but the Australians had already seen you.
“I think you have a better chance than you think Kyra!” The brunette who had her back turned towards you was confused – “What do you mean?”
It turns out that Kyra was much more relentless than you had thought, roping you into one conversation after the other. She even visited you at home, when you were not expecting her - filling your home with endless talks and many giggles.
The Arsenal woman appreciated how far she was willing to go, knowing that you had tried befriending Gio and Kathrine – but due to your shy and closed nature, they thought that you wanted nothing to do with them.
After Jordan left last season you hadn’t been quite the same – the extrovert to your introvert was missing. Kyra however, gladly took the job without even applying for it. She just showed up and stole it – just like your little heart that seemed to beat out of your chest whenever her hand brushed over your back, or when she kept sending you her most mischievous smile.
While Katie liked to make jokes about your inability to speak whenever the brunette was around, it was she who convinced you to ask Kyra out on a date.
She had been very upfront about her feelings towards you and confessed quite early on, but understood that you weren’t ready for anything at that point in time – So she waited for you to make the first move.
It was at your apartment when you asked her out. Kyra had noticed that you seemed off today, however, she didn’t know what was going on – so she filled the silence with her talking, and talking, and even more talking.
This was weird to her.
When it was just the two of you, you usually couldn’t stop talking either, stumbling over your words. “Okay! That’s enough. What is wrong with you?”
Your big eyes staring at her were enough to send Kyra into a deep state of panic, “It’s just- you seem so off! So I thought tha-“
“Go on a date with me?”
The silence was deafening. And just as you were about to ramble, your face already heating up, Kyra jumped quite literally on top of you, hugging you close to her “Yes! Thought you’d never ask!”
764 notes · View notes
drmaddict · 10 months
Text
Patchwork
Summary: Henry becomes a father... Just not how he thought it would happen.
Word count: 2.160
Warnings: mentions of domestic violence, lots of fluff
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"Six?"
"Six."
"Six children?"
"Well not biologically, but.... yes."
(Y/n) looked uncertainly at Henry. The blue eyes stared at her in disbelief.
"You have six children living in your house?"
She sighed. That was always the point at which every guy ran away.
"I understand if that's too much for you," she began. 
Henry shook his head still in disbelief, but grinned. "Do you ever sleep, or do you just get used to  sleep deprivation?"
She smiled cautiously. Didn't trust the peace yet, though. "To be honest there are two kids one 9 and one 12 and four pubescent teenagers."
He regarded her quietly across the restaurant table. "Are you okay?" he asked, "Did I say something wrong? I know my reaction may have been a little surprised, but I didn't mean to cut you in."
She relaxed a little. "It's just... Most guys run away as soon as they hear that, and that would really be .... a shame."
Henry smiled and shook his head. "I don't run away. I hate cardio."
That made her smile.
"But you'll still have to tell me how you get to adopt six children and teenagers.... And that as a single woman in her mid-twenties."
"It's like cats. Somehow I guess it doesn't stay with just one." She tipped her wine glass. "The first one was Jason. He was the son of my neighbors at the time and would come by my apartment every so often in the afternoon until his mother got home. One night he showed up at my door bleeding. His father caught him with make up and beat him black and blue. It took a while, but then he could move in with me. He's graduating from high school this summer. He has even been accepted to a make up school. He wants to go into film as a makeup artist." She smiled softly. "He's come a long way."
Henry curtsied in shock at the story. "Fatima is 16 and has been disowned by her family for not being a virgin. She has ambitions to study law. I don't think anyone will stop her from going to Oxford. Mike is almost 16 - next week - and grew up without a father and even though his mother tried everything, she has high level schizophrenia. She has been institutionalized and now lives in care. We visit her whenever her condition allows it. Mini - Emilia ran away at some point. We don't really know what happened. She is 14. Kamon is 12 and comes from a refugee family. His parents have been sent back to Thailand. We are trying to get a visa for them. Until then, I'm kind of his foster family. He and Mike are not officially adopted. Both love their family and do everything for them, even if they can't always be there. And Lilly. She is 9. Her family died in a car accident. No family member has been found."
She was silent for a moment and continued to contemplate her wine before looking up and looking at Henry.
"Henry... I understand if this is too much, but.... they've all been through enough in their lives and every single one of them has their reasons for making it hard for new people in our family. So if, against all odds, you say yes to this circus, know that it's not so easy to get out of it either." Her gaze became insistent. "If you leave me, that's one thing, but I won't do that to the kids."
Henry, who hadn't said anything all this time, took one deep breath and reached for her hand lying on the table. He smiled. "If they're willing to meet me, so am I."
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Henry stood in front of a gigantic house. His house was already big, but this one surpassed it. Despite its size, however, it didn't seem ostentatious. It looked cozy and inviting. The word 'home' popped into his head.
Shouts and frantic footsteps sounded from inside. 
He pressed his thumb on the doorbell. Immediately, everything went silent.
The door opened with a jerk. A dark-skinned boy stood before him, beaming at him. From the colored eyeliner, he concluded that it must be Jason.
"Hello Mr. Cavill." he said in a noticeably loud voice.
Immediately, frantic footsteps sounded and he saw scattered bodies running through the background.
"Hi. Henry will do." he smiled.
"Come on in. I'm Jason. Ehhm... (Y/n) isn't here yet.... Mike had... They had to go to the hospital."
"Is he okay?"
Jason shrugged. "Normally, he is. Boxer you know... Tea?"
"Gladly."
He stepped into the house. It was swept as if empty, yet the traces of life could be seen in it. Self-painted pictures. Photographs. Various equipment for hobbies. Shoes in different sizes. And that was just the hallway. Henry let himself be led into the kitchen and sat down on one of the chairs. None matched the other.
"Mike had a match this morning. (Y/n) said he's already patched up. They're already on their way here."
Henry smiled. "With something like this, you should take your time."
Jason set the steaming cup down for him and sat with him.
Henry accepted it gratefully. "It's very quiet."
"Be glad." was all he said, sipping his tea. "I don't want to chase you away, but it's like human history here. The periods of absolute peace are relatively negligible." He ran his index finger over the rim of his cup and grinned. "And I'm one of the worst divas here. Just a warning."
The front door opened and a rumble sounded, followed by an amused giggle. "Sorry about that." a boy's slurred voice rang out.
"That's okay big guy. Come on off to bed." he heard (y/n).
"I'm fine!"
"That's because they drugged your ass off so you can't feel your face."
"Where's Ammy?"
"Mike you need to rest now. You can call Amber when you're in bed."
"Who are you?" A blond boy in a gray sweatshirt and swollen face looked at him from the doorway, aghast. "Who's that?" he turned to (Y/n).
"A friend Mike. That's a friend. Jason stop filming him!"
Still grinning, Jason put the phone away and turned to Henry. "Welcome."
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"What's the dog's name?", Kamon asked him.
"That's Kal...like Superman." he smiled at the shy boy.
"I like Batman."
Henry rolled his eyes playfully. "Oh yeah, why?"
"Batman watches out for kids nobody else wants. Like (y/n)."
Henry smiled.
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"I told you not to rummage through my things!" yelled Emilia down the hall.
Henry and (Y/n) sat in the garden each holding a book.
"I wasn't rummaging. I was getting MY eyeshadow, that you stole from MY room!" shouted back Jason. "It's not my fault you leave your lovey-dovey fanfictions lying around in the open like that!"
"You have no business in my room!"
"That being said - Tom Holland? Really?"
A splintering sound rang out.
"I guess that was the vase, then," (Y/n) sighed.
"I would have thought she was more of a Sebastian Stan type," Henry reflected loudly.
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"How long has she been sitting there?" whispered Henry to (Y/n).
"Since this morning. She hasn't looked up from that book in five hours."
Fatima sat at the large parlor table surrounded by books, writing notes and index cards.
"That's impressive. Scary, but impressive."
Kal walked over to the table and nudged her.
"I have to study! Sit!" Kal obeyed immediately and sat next to her chair.
"She'd make a good drill sergeant," Henry grinned.
(Y/n) sipped her coffee. "You've never seen her in exam stress."
"This isn't exam stress?"
"This is relaxed studying."
Henry looked in shock at the girl with noise cancelling headphones. (Y/n) grinned into her cup.
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 "They need more glitter!" determined Lilly.
Henry reached for the can of edible glitter and sprinkled more of it on the unicorn cookies.
"Like this?"
The little girl looked thoughtfully at the tin. "Like this."
Henry bowed theatrically and slid the tin into the oven. "All for your majesty." The girl giggled.
(Y/n) just watched with a smile.
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Jason and Mike sat on the sofa grinning together at a tablet, each with headphones in their ears.
This wasn't normal. Even Henry knew that by now. He wondered if they were both watching porn. He'd been that age once, too. He knew what that was like.
(Y/n) came into the living room and looked over there shoulders at the two of them. She laughed uncontrollably grunting, but immediately suppressed it and came over to him.
No porn, he concluded.
"What about these two?" asked Henry, pulling her to him on the sofa and onto his lap.
"Just a movie," she grinned.
"What movie?"
She continued to shake her head with a grin and waved it off. Henry was very reluctant to be shut out. So he sat (y/n) down next to him on the sofa and stood behind the two teenagers. When he saw his younger self in a black hoodie grinning and holding up a tarot card, he groaned in annoyance.
The boys snorted indignantly. Henry looked defiantly at the display.
"Oh come on Sweet Cheeks! What's wrong?" asked (Y/n) with a laugh.
He looked at her with an intensity that promised she would pay for this yet. She could hardly wait.
"What's with the hair?" laughed Jason.
"It was in back then!"
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Henry stood in the kitchen making coffee while there was the familiar bustle around him. Kamon couldn't find his second shoe, Lilly needed a certain T-shirt, Jason occupied the bathroom, Mike shoveled eggs into his mouth, Fatima just drank the coffee straight out of the pot, and Emilia hid behind a book.
He could hardly believe that over a year should have passed already.
They had grown close to his heart. He didn't want to miss the chaos at all. The last time he left for a job, it seemed almost eerie how quiet it was that night. He had told (y/n) about it over Skype. She'd just grinned and said those feelings liked to sneak up on one.
"Do you think they want me in their life?" he had asked her uncertainly.
She had only smiled. "Wait a minute." She disappeared and came back a moment later with a piece of paper. She held it up to the camera. "Lilly drew this for you today." It showed eight roughly drawn people. Under each one, in capital letters, was the name.... except for (y/n) and him. It just said Mum and Paps. Henry stared wide-eyed at the screen. "Please act surprised when you come back. It's supposed to be a gift.", she put the paper back down. "Are you crying?"
Henry had remained silent. He had only nodded.
He smiled at the memory. The picture hung framed in the hallway. It had become Henry's favorite picture.
"Car one go!", (y/n) called down the stairs.
The three mismatched teens got up from the table and walked to (y/n)s car.
Henry packed the last of the snacks into Lilly and Kamon's lunchboxes before he, too, packed them into his cat and drove them to school. Jason had a little break from make up school and stayed at home.
Henry came back earlier than (y/n). He waited patiently for her in the kitchen. Looked at the mismatched chairs and the photos on the wall. Photos that now included him. (Y/n) came shortly after him and dropped into her usual seat next to him. She reached for the waiting cup of coffee and dropped her head on his shoulder. "How did I do this alone before?"
Henry laughed.
"I mean it. Don't you dare leave! I can't take it anymore!"
Henry just smiled at her. He got up from his chair and knelt down in front of her. He pulled a small box out of his pocket and held it in front of him. "I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life anywhere but with you and the kids. (Y/n) will you marry me?"
She looked at him with shocked eyes. "Are you sure?"
He nodded with a smile. "I want to take Lilly to her dance lessons. I want to be there when Jason gets his first jobs. I want to see Fatima come top of her year at Oxford - in law AND medicine." They both laughed. "I want to cheer Mike on in his competitions. I want to watch Emilia find the romance she secretly wants. I even want my heart to break when Kamon is reunited with his parents. I want to be with you. I want to be with the children. I don't want to run away. I want to be part of this family."
"You already are," she smiled, crying. She pulled him close and kissed him.
"Does that mean yes?" he grinned.
"Yes you idiot." she laughed.
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goldsbitch · 6 days
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Right? p8
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7
epilogue - Lando's POV
summary: Y/N is a photographer for McLaren F1 team. Hard working, goal oriented professional who would never put her career in jeopardy for some stupid crush, right?
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Challenge me. Make me question my past actions. Hold me on the edge, while we risk it all.
Watch me watch you walk around the paddock, as if there wasn't a bright red love bite underneath your turtleneck. One that only I know about and plan on refreshing. Knowing you have to cover those up makes me ecstatic, because I have seen you smile like a teenager while doing so.
We're our little secret, for now. It will come out eventually and we'll enter a new chapter. But for today, let me have our classified, not so modest photoshoots. Let me sneak around just to give you a little peck on the cheek. Walk just a little close to me so that our hands brush, ever so "accidentally".
The way how you're so good at passing me by, as if you hadn't woken up next to me. Like I have no idea about your birthmark little too low on your lower back. The one I'd touched in a way colleagues should not.
And I know you're having to fight smiling a little too obviously during our team meetings. Because I have to admit, sometimes I have to hide my smirk behind a coffee cup or a cough. I wonder if people noticed that you don't take official photos of me anymore.
I'm good at running around with a camera, but I think I was born to be your muse. To let you capture me in the way only lovers can. Energy and desire creeping through every frame. I trust you deeply that you won't sell my secrets - and I know you have to trust me too. Allow me to play an all-or-nothing game, while being ultimately raw with you.
I sometimes can't help my mouth from smiling at random times throughout the day, just knowing that we managed to play this game so effortlessly. Once I got you on board, it turned out you're quite good at this. I guess it's making you irresistible even more.
I think hiding it from everyone is working in our favor. Once the fan hurricane hits when the reveal day comes, we will have already spent many days of freedom. It won't be a va banque taken with a stranger. A companion, lover, muse and the capturer. I should not be looking forward to causing a scandal, right? But I do. Turns out I am bad at stopping myself when it comes to you.
I've already sunk so deep, so much at your mercy, I am unable to untangle myself. Please, promise you mean it when you said "I love you" so shyly the other night. It took me some time to admit that I do. But with you being so slick and smart, you must have already known. You're someone who does not like to be brave about this. You wouldn't have said it if deep down you were not sure about my response. And that's ok. You're the smart one, I'm the brave one. A perfect combination.
One day, you'll have to take a big risk with me. When you've finally moved on from McLaren photos and get yourself in fashion photography as you always wanted anyway. You'll have to get out of your shell and I am so here for it. But for now, we have our little secret life to enjoy.
There will come a day when we'll replace the thrill of a private affair with a strive for something serious. If it had been only my decision, I would have already shouted to the world that you are mine. Make your love bites visible and trackable to me. One day, we won't have to worry about hotel room walls being too thin. But I want you ready for the price that comes with my public company.
I'll drive us fast, maybe even recklessly, and you'll make sure we have something to remember it by.
_______________________
@i-wish-this-was-me @lqvesoph @ophcelia @noneofyourfbusinessworld @formulaal @chezmardybum @amberpanda99 @4-mula1
Short, but a proper goodbye to my first story. Thank you all for the support! Love you all.
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actiniumwrites · 8 months
Text
𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇
synopsis: in which you find out the truth about lyney’s identity
characters: lyney x gn!reader
wc: 695
warnings: pure angst, established relationships, breakups, reader has a past with the fatui, mentions of physical harm and death, major spoilers for the 4.0 archon quest
notes: i am officially in writers block and want to die because of it. also, i know this idea is a little old since the quest came out a few weeks ago, but i still wanted to write something about his identity. also, yes, i would forgive lyney, but this blog has not seen pure angst in awhile so…🙂
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“You were never going to tell me, were you?” Your voice is barely above a whisper as you finally break the silence. Your arms are crossed as you lean back against one of the brick walls of the Opera Epiclese. Lyney stands approximately three feet away from you.
He’s silent, unable to answer the burning question. It’s been on your mind all night ever since Furina had so proudly announced it to all of the court. Lyney was a part of the House of the Hearth. Part of the Fatui.
“I can’t lie to you,” he carefully picks his words, terrified of further upsetting you.
Cutting him off, you scoff and turn away from him further than you already had, “What? Like you haven’t been lying to me this entire time? Real funny.”
Lyney takes a single step closer to you.
You take one back.
“Please, I wasn’t lying to you. I just left out some parts of the truth, that’s all, I swear!”
“You are part of the Fatui, Lyney. The Fatui! How can I trust you when you’re part of an organization who hurts people, kills people, even,” you frown. Not a single part of you isn’t affected by the hurt you feel. He hears the way your voice is beginning to break too, like the truth of it all is finally beginning to set in.
His hands come together as he pleads, “I promise I’ve never hurt anyone, not ever! Not everyone and everything in the Fatui is evil.”
For the first time tonight, you turn toward him and look him in the eyes. Your arms become uncrossed as you feel anger fuel your every action, every thought, every feeling. Walking toward him step by step, you hold out a finger, digging it into his chest as you speak, “You don’t get to pick and choose when you’re a part of something dangerous, Lyney! I don’t care if you aren’t the one doing the killing or the hurting, you still help them. What about all those people I told you about? My friends and family who got hurt by the Fatui? Did that mean nothing to you?”
He watches as tears form in your eyes at the mention of them. Of course he remembered, how could he not? The day you confided in him about your past and all the misfortune that you were dealt by the Fatui was eternally engraved in his mind. The organization who had taken so much from you that you swore you would find a way to end it one day, even if it meant dying. You had laid everything out to him and the entire time he was on their side.
You take two more steps back from him, voice shaking as cave in on yourself, “No wonder you were so quiet that day. God, and here I was thinking you actually cared.”
“Please don’t say that,” he whispers, tempted to reach a hand out to you, but not willing to scare you off. For all he knows, this could be the last time he ever sees you, “I care about you so much it hurts me. I really was horrified by the things you told me, I promise you that. Understand that I’ve only ever been talking to you as just Lyney. Your Lyney.”
It takes everything in you not to run into his arms and forget all of this is even happening. Give into his pleading words and return to who you thought was the only person who had ever really loved you. You want to pinch your arm to wake yourself up from the cruel nightmare, but somewhere deep inside, part of you has already accepted the truth and the fact that there is no universe in which you could accept his true identity. And so you take one final look at him before you take your final step, allowing the tears to fall from your eyes as you bid him a permanent farewell.
Lyney would never forget the final words you spoke to him. Four words that managed to break both your hearts more than the truth had.
“You’re not my Lyney.”
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hellfire--cult · 2 months
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Edit of Eddie: pitifulbaby
Chapters: Masterlist (Go here to see list of chapters, plotline and general warnings.)
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
Tropes: Enemies to Lovers, Non-Traditional Omegaverse, Slow burn, Modern!AU, Mechanic!Eddie
⚠️18+: PINING, LOTS OF IT. Sexual tension, drinking, drinking game, sexual talk
wc: 8.2K
A/N: i can't apologize enough for taking so long. So much happened last month, and I realized I am not capable of having two jobs.
Anyways, Enjoy! ❤️ And don't forget to always support me by hitting the reblog button or leave a comment!
Taglist is closed
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CHAPTER 15
“So? You and Nance? Are you guys official or?”
You took a bite out of your sandwich, as you and Robin sat in your office’s cafeteria. All your coworkers were chatting away, laughing, some stressed while still making phone calls, but those were departments you would never think of doing yourself in your life. Sales. Recruiting. You’re glad you have the editor job because the work pressure is not huge, but it is very important and has to be done perfectly.
“I mean it’s been, what, a month? I still think it’s too soon…” Robin sighed as she took a bite out of her pasta. You gulped your food down, taking a long sip of your diet coke, looking at your best friend who had a sad look on her face.
“But you guys are exclusive to each other already.” You commented because that’s what she had indeed told you two weeks ago. She told you that Nance and her, established that they are only hooking up with each other, no one else. 
“Yeah I know, but we’re just having sex, and it’s fun!” You could see the forced smile on your friend’s face and you giggled as she sighed in defeat, slumping back down on her seat.
“Yeah, but you don’t want just the fun Robs. What are you afraid of?” And Robin kept her gaze on her plate, twirling the pasta on the plastic below, not lifting it up to take a bite. You knew why she was scared, she didn’t really need to tell you.
“It started like that with Vickie. What if it happens again? What if I… misinterpret things?  Again?” You sighed at that, reaching out to hold her hand in yours in a reassuring manner.
“I can tell that you are not Robs… Nance gets all giggly when you kiss her cheek… I think she is waiting for you to make the move.” At your words, Robin just squeezed your hand with a small smile on her face. “It will be okay, I promise.”
“If I end up heartbroken, I’m coming for your ass.” You laughed as you let go of her hand, resting back in your chair. 
“You won’t. And you have to remember, Eddie’s best friend’s with Nancy and–”
“And you talk to him almost every fucking day now, and so you have information.”
You frowned at that with a pout on your lip. Robin wasn’t saying that with venom. She was saying it to tease you really. She found it amusing how quickly you and Eddie turned your relationship from hate to almost an unbreakable friendship. 
“I– We don’t talk every day.” And as if on cue, your phone vibrated, a small ting sound informing you that you had been sent something and Robin only rolled her eyes with a shake of her head. “It might be someone else.”
“Really? Open it.”
You winced at your best friend’s order. You knew it was him. You knew he was probably sending you an update on his employee Gareth and how he is freaking out because he thinks Jeff is flirting with him… when it’s all a made-up joke between Eddie and Jeff.
You told him many times to quit it, that Gareth would end up scarred because of it, but Eddie dismissed it because he pranked him once as well, never telling you with what. You assumed Eddie just made a fool out of himself, that’s why he promised to never say a word to you about that.
You slowly raised your phone and unblocked to see Eddie’s message pop up. You took a deep breath in, showing the screen to Robin, only for her to scoff and roll her eyes. You looked back at the screen and it was a message from him reminding you that he has to take a look at the oil tank of your car.
“It’s just about my car.” You excused yourself with that, even though you knew that you two don’t talk just about that. Yesterday he told you that his uncle managed to get up from bed after many days of being unable to do so. The other day you told him about a great orange deal you found around the corner of your apartment building.
But it’s just trivial stuff. They’re just friendly things… but you linger on his Instagram stories.
The ones where he takes in front of the mirror, the ones where he is showing something in his car shop, maybe a wrench, and you can see the inked forearm and hand, veins popping out. And you especially linger on those shirtless selfies he takes in his mirror or when he wears his overalls at his shop with Gareth and Jeff, the top never buttoned, his inked chest at full display.
He is handsome, that’s all there is to it. Your friend is handsome, and he probably takes those pictures to get women to like them so he can have the opportunity to message them and take them out. It’s just that. You have taken a few yourself to try to do the same with all hookups, and you met with Lara again, as well as Jeremy. 
You weren’t really into it. You noticed it since you broke up with Henry and divorced him, that something kind of changed. You felt pleasure, you certainly did… but you never felt complete. It was something you could hardly explain, but you shrugged it off as a weird feeling and that’s it. You loved sex with Billy, but it was because you liked Billy mostly. 
Physically? You were never full.
“Right, whatever. So, today Friday, still on to go to Eddie’s?” Robin said as she took a bite out of her pasta and you nodded at that, replying back to Eddie that you can take the car on Monday for the check-up. It would be the first time you would see Eddie’s home. He told you he lives right above the shop, and it’s kind of like a loft.
His shop is wide, so you can guess just how big it is. But you can sort of imagine how it looks, and it filled you with some kind of excitement that was weird to explain. Maybe you just wanted to know more about your friend; knowing his house was the next step.
“Yeah, is everyone else going too?” You put the phone down and wiggled your eyebrows at your best friend. She bit her bottom lip with a smile on her face and shook her head.
“Yes, Nance is also going.” You giggled at her face becoming red and you looked up to see the TV above, a commercial popping up that made your smile drop completely. Robin frowned and turned around to look at what you were seeing.
Billy Hargrove announcing a GUCCI perfume.
“Guess he got signed to another publicity company.” You murmured and looked back down. In all honesty, you had moved on from Billy and your friends helped a lot with that. They took you out and the hookups you had also made everything go a little bit smoother, and it’s not like you forgot and were done with… the strong feeling of love never got to build.
Your dislike for him only grew when he was interviewed about betas, same-sex marriage, and adoption, and he said he was all for it, with a smile on his face. It made you mad, it made you feel disgusted that you had a relationship with someone like that. That also helped to destroy that yearning you still had for him, it immediately disappeared just like magic.
“Not our problem anymore, nor yours.” And you knew Robin was trying to cheer you up, but because if Billy’s real personality came out into the light, your company would be targeted, you would all have to make a statement that as soon as you found out his ideals, you dropped him and the contract.
“I know… Okay, what do I have to bring today?”
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You didn’t dress much, just some black pants, a white blouse, a little flowy, hem tucked in your pants, you arrived at Eddie’s shop with Robin and Steve, you being the designated driver of the night if it decides to head into a drunken one. 
“The stairs are on the back.” Steve said and guided you both around the shop, your coat keeping you warm in the cold night as Robin rambled about the game she brought for the night. She has been here before, you being the only one in the group to actually see his place for the very first time.
Steve walked up the stairs, which was one flight and you could see the window of his office, and then up another flight of stairs, the metal clinking under your boots at each step you took, and Steve entered a small entryway, very small, like a cove, his feet standing over a mat. 
You blinked in awe at how big his fucking home is. You always thought that this was kind of like a warehouse attic, but no. It had always been his home. Windows were all around and you are just now realizing all the warm lights that lit the inside. Steve knocked on the door and you gripped the beer pack in your hands. You heard murmuring on the other side and then loud boots echoing as they approached the door.
The door swung open to reveal Eddie, burgundy t-shirt on, almost tight to the body, inked arms on display, as well as tattoos that littered around his neck. His hair was in a low bun, stubble on his chin, and you kind of felt your breath hitch in your throat. You were looking at him over Steve’s shoulder, and Eddie’s eyes landed on yours, and for a second you felt a shiver run down your spine, something that has been happening a lot recently… more than you liked.
“Welcome to my coven.” And just like that he moved to the side to let you all in, the warmth of his place invading the three of you, a sigh of relief coming out of each of your lips and you already wanted to take your coat off. You looked around and… it was certainly an industrial loft like you see in those New York movies. Brick walls, the kitchen on a corner, a wide living room, a black leather couch with a coffee table in the middle, and a wider 55” TV in front. 
You also spotted a lot of 80’s rock posters that were put into frames, making them more stylish. An electric guitar next to the TV was standing there, an amp right next to it. You spotted a library as well, and you will snoop into it later just like he did back at your own place. Then you saw the door that was a bit opened, and it was a very nice full bathroom.
And on the other side, you saw some stairs leading up to another part of the home, and you could guess his bedroom was up there. He lived in a better place than you, and… his style was impeccable, so of course that was the first thing you blurted out. 
“Holy shit, I really thought this would be a mess knowing you.” And you now noticed thanks to their laughter that Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, and Argyle were all sitting on the couch and on top of the wide black fluffy rug below, their drinks sitting on the coffee table that’s in the middle.
“Yeah well, it was. Everything was so mismatched.” Nancy replied and then Steve snorted behind you as he walked towards the kitchen to put the snacks on the island counter and you followed to place the six-pack on the black marble.
“I helped too… This guy has no taste in interior design.” He said and you laughed loudly at that, nodding.
“Now, that makes so much more sense.” “You all fuckers know I’m here, right?” You heard Eddie right behind you, a shiver all over your nape at how low the voice sounded to your ears. Was it always that low? You giggled to hide the nerves and the knots appearing in your stomach, taking your coat off and turning around to face him, handing the fabric to him.
“Oh, I do know. What of it?” And Eddie rolled his eyes at you, snatching the coat off your hand to then turn and see Robin and Steve handing theirs to him with smirks on their face. “You know where to put them.” He said it with anger, yet he grabbed their jackets and went to hang them on his coat rack. You ripped your eyes away from his waist, which caught your attention by the movement and the jingle of his metal belt. You turned to start opening up your six-pack, taking the coronas out, grabbing one for yourself, only for it to be snatched by a ringed and tattooed hand.
“Hey!” You were about to turn your head only for lips to slam against your cheek. Your body heated up by a hundred, to a temperature you haven’t felt in a while. You looked to your side and Eddie was intensely looking at you, and your heart skipped a beat. A cheshire grin spread on his face as he straightened up again, opening the beer for himself.
“Thanks, Peach.” And just like that, Eddie walked away and towards the couch. You turned your head to look at Steve and Robin who were chatting away, putting snacks in bowls, not even noticing what had just happened. 
Your heart was beating strongly, that much you knew, but Eddie was just a touchy person. You two are friends, that’s all you are. You sighed and grabbed another Corona, popping it open, before walking towards the circle of friends, sitting down on the rug next to Argyle, who had a goofy smile on his face as he bumped his shoulder against yours.
“So, how is my brochacha doing?” You smiled at your sweet friend, pressing a hand on his shoulder.
“I am doing good. How about you, my long-haired adonis?” 
“Hey!” You turned your head to see Eddie with a frown on his face and his hands up. You rolled your eyes at him, ran a hand through Argyle’s hair, and showed the ends to the other long-haired man in the room.
“This? Is taking care of the hair. You on the other hand have a rat’s nest.” And at your words, everyone almost spat anything that they were drinking, except for Eddie who simply squinted at you with fiery eyes. 
“I have curly hair, not silky one.” And Argyle threw his hair over his shoulder in a diva manner.
“I am the long-haired Adonis. Deal with it.” Eddie rolled his eyes at his friend but still chuckled loudly as he took a sip of his drink. Steve and Robin soon joined in, Robin sitting on a bean bag chair while Steve sat next to Jonathan, giving his boyfriend a smooch on the cheek in greeting. Your lip twitched upwards at the sight and then your eyes went towards Robin who was smiling while looking at Nancy who was blushing behind her glass.
That leaves three single people in the room. And to think you weren’t one of those a month ago, and now you are glad you are not anymore. Not with the wrong person. You took a long sip of your beer as your heart clouded, mind reeling in memories that do no good. Not now. 
A pair of brown eyes were looking at you and he straightened up, clearing his throat in a loud manner to make everyone, including you, look at him. Eddie looked at Robin, pointing at her.
“You said you bought a new drinking game.” He suddenly spat and Robin squealed, and she groaned when she realized she left her purse on the kitchen counter, getting ready to push herself up, but Nancy straightened up and stood up from the couch.
“I’ll get it!” She said contently and walked to the kitchen island to fetch Robin’s purse and you noticed how fondly your best friend was looking at the bright-eyed girl as she approached the group again and handed the purse to Robin.
“Thank you, baby.” And everyone in the room stilled. Nancy grew red, and Robin became mars. They were both stuttering and shit. You looked at Eddie who also looked at you with the same alarmed look on his face and you knew that he knew the situation of their relationship. 
You took a quick sip of your beer and then you pretended to choke, coughing uncontrollably and aggressively, making everyone turn their heads to look at you. Argyle perked up and started patting your back with a little bit of force to try to help you cough it all out.
“You okay my friend?” He asked and you nodded, clearing your throat and doing a few more little coughs for good measure. 
“Yep, yeah, it just– went through the wrong pipe.” You cleared your throat and Eddie was already putting on music on his phone and towards the speaker. Soon enough, Bad Bunny filled the room and you frowned at the choice and looked at Eddie who was red with embarrassment. 
“Since when do you listen to… latin music?” Jonathan spoke this time and Eddie stuttered for a bit, a snort threatening to leave your nose and mouth. You had to stay strong, you had to hold it in.
“I uh… I am trying to expand– my music taste.” 
And your snort was what did it. Everyone just started cracking up at the whole chaotic situation. Nancy was still blushing though giggles escaped her lips as she sat back down next to Eddie. Robin shot you an appreciative look through her laughter and you saw Nancy bumping Eddie’s shoulder with hers.
“Okay, okay… shut up!” Robin finally yelled and she took a deck of cards from her purse. “Here is my new game. It’s called ‘Everyone drinks’ and it’s just, grab a card and do what it says in there. Simple.” 
“Really? That simple?” Steve asked skeptically and Robin nodded with a mischievous look on her face as she opened the deck and placed it in the middle of the table.
“You start Dingus.” She said with a triumphant look on her face and Steve rolled his eyes and leaned to grab a card and read it. His eyes widened and he looked at Robin and then at the card again. 
“Yeah, no. I’m not doing this–”
“Read it out loud babe. What is it?” Steve gulped as he looked at Jonathan and then back down at the card.
“Using your mouth, put a condom on a person’s thumb. Not doing so equals… Six sips of your drink.”
You all started laughing at the dare and soon came to realize that… if you do not complete the dare, you have a punishment. Oh… this was going to be bad. Jonathan was belly laughing real loud as he looked at his boyfriend.
“Seriously Stevie? Are you telling me you’re embarrassed to do that when you do it to–” 
“NOBODY needs to know that.” And Steve grabbed his solo cup and started taking the sips mentioned, making everyone giggle and laugh at the situation. Robin sniffled and wiped the tears that slipped out of her eyes as she pointed at Jonathan to keep going. He laughed and leaned forward to take another card out, reading it first and laughing before saying it out loud.
“Everyone that had sex while drunk, drink four sips.” Everyone in the circle did an ‘Oh’ in understanding. It wasn’t just individual dares, they were also group questions. Everyone drank the sips except for Robin and Argyle, making the rest of you frown in question. Robin you knew she didn’t like that, but Argyle–
“I always get high, that? I do. Drunk? Never.” He smiled as he finger-gunned Robin who was on the other side of the table and she winked at him. Eddie rolled his eyes and smirked as he pointed his bottle at Argyle.
“Your turn Adonis.” And you shot a glare towards him, knowing he was making fun of you, but you felt yourself gulp when he was already smirking at you and sent a wink your way. Your attention was ripped away from him when Argyle leaned forward and took a card out.
“The last person who had sex takes three sips.” He looked at Robin for instructions and she nodded at him and straightened up.
“Now we go one by one saying when was the last time we all had sex. The most recent one drinks.” She looked at you now and you frowned in thought, blinking a few times before speaking.
“A week ago.” You looked to your right so you could look at Nance, and you also caught the intense brown eyes looking at you but paid them no mind, acting as if you didn’t feel them at all. Nancy was a blushing mess as she looked at Robin and then back down at her cup.
“Two… days ago.” Steve whistled at that and Robin threw a cushion up his head, making Nancy giggle as she looked at Eddie. He was looking at the ceiling, trying to think and he was scrunching up his eyes in order to remember correctly.
“Four days ago.” That surprised you, but why should it? He is handsome and well, it’s obvious he has hookups. Those semi-naked stories on Instagram are for someone… or many? You gulped as you shook those thoughts away trying not to think about how much your friend fucks per week. None of your business.
“Um… Two days ago as well.” Robin answered to Eddie’s stare and Steve whistled again, earning a punch on the shoulder by Robin and he yelled a little ‘ow’ as an answer while rubbing the place she hit.
“What a cunt… Three days ago.” Eddie let out a small whistle too and Steve only rolled his eyes at him while Jonathan chuckled.
“Same I guess.” And then you all looked at Argyle who seemed to realize that it was his turn, giving a little jump in his place. “Oh, today!” He said with a smile and all the people in the room almost stood up with surprised looks on their faces.
“What!? With who!? Spill it!” You yelled at him and he raised his hands in innocence while looking at you in a panic.
“With Eden! The girl I matched on Tinder! She is– Oh god guys, she is so perfect… We got high, I made some pizza and– perfect date.” Okay, maybe it’s just you and Eddie the only single people in this circle. You gave Argyle a pat on the shoulder with a smile on your face.
“Good job.” He giggles at you like a little kid and motions for you to pick a card. There was a fun nervous knot in your belly as you smiled, reaching over and grabbing a card out of the pile. You read it first and your eyes widened a little in surprise but the smile didn’t leave your lips.
“Say what you like to do the most during sex, or take a shot.” Everyone in the circle let out a synchronized ‘Ooooh’, making you snort a little as you go into thought. There were many things you liked during sex, but you had to pick one. You had soft ones, mild ones… and rough ones.
“How much thought you gotta put into this?” Steve chuckled at your indecision and you shot him a glare and straightened up with a triumphant smile on your lips, deciding on one thing.
“Okay, well… I like to ride.” And Eddie instantly spat what he was drinking and Steve laughed loudly as the rest stared at them with wide eyes. Did you say something funny? 
“Fuck– Sorry, didn’t expect you to say that.” Eddie commented as he cleared his throat looking back at you. Your eyes squinted at him, licking the inside of your cheek.
“And what did you expect me to say?”
“Hell if I know, just not that.” Eddie finished, taking a long sip of his beer as Jonathan raised his hand up to talk.
“I didn’t expect it either, to be honest.” You rolled your eyes, not really understanding what they thought of you. It’s not common for women to take initiative, that’s true, but it’s a position that… became your favorite the past year. Be it with a dick or a strap-on, it was the only way to feel, or pretend to feel, full.
“Okay, my turn.” Nancy smiled as she reached over to take a card from the pile, and Eddie looked over her shoulder to look at it as Nancy’s smile slowly fell. Eddie snorted, eyes widening as he covered his mouth with his hand, trying to stifle his laughs. Nancy shot him a glare before hitting his shoulder. “Shut up!”
“I’m– this is great.” He only mumbled as he shook his head with a smile on his face and Steve motioned Nancy to continue.
“What does the card say Nance?” She straightened up and cleared her throat as she looked down at the card.
“Sit on a person’s lap for a whole round. In not doing so, you will have to take two shots.” You stifled your own laugh now as you looked down but you could hear everyone else snorting softly and clearing their throats. 
Robin though, simply straightened up and you looked up to see her patting her knee. Despite the nervousness, you could clearly see in your friend’s features, she was making moves, and you were proud that Robin was finally feeling a bit more confident in trusting Nancy. Her face was bright red and it worsened when Nancy stood up from her place and walked towards her, falling on her lap, making the bean bag chair sink even farther than before.
“Cozy?” Argyle asked and you snorted but still elbowed him on the arm, making him laugh, and clearing his throat.
You looked at Eddie who was smiling as Robin whispered something to Nancy, making her relax and giggle as Robin’s arms were around her, one hand resting on her knee, and the other arm around her waist. You felt your heart do some kind of little jump at how supportive he was of Nance, just like you were with your Robs.
“C’mon Eddie, stop laughing and pick a card.” Robin spat at him and he rolled his eyes at her, flipping her the middle finger before reaching out to pick a card out of the deck. For the second time in the night, Eddie Munson spat a bit of his beer as he choked on the liquid.
“Sh-Shit.” Eddie coughed a few times as everyone looked at him completely startled.
“The fuck does that card say?” Steve asked with curiosity. Eddie blinked a few times and you could see he was trying to come up with a fake sentence, stuttering as he read the card, so you pointed at him.
“He is going to lie!” And at your warning yell, Nancy reached out and snatched the card away to look at it. Eddie cursed under his breath as he sighed, scratching the back of his head.
“It’s not even that bad.” Nancy explained with a pout and Jonathan nodded at her with a confused frown on his face.
“Read it Nance.”
“Name your favorite sex position.” And at Nancy’s words, Steve let out the biggest laugh you’ve heard in the night. You frowned as you looked at Argyle for answers but he just shrugged at you with the same confused look and then you all turned to Eddie who was fuming, looking at Steve who was talking in between his chuckles.
“I know it. I’m sorry it’s just–” and Eddie stopped him.
“A fucking coincidence. It’s all it is, goddamnit.” And it seems Jonathan’s head clicked because he let out a loud ‘Ooooh’ and then started chuckling into his hand as he took a sip of his drink, making you even more confused than before.
“What’s a coincidence?” You asked and then Nancy started laughing as well, already angering you that everyone was putting a puzzle together in their heads while you were yet to understand anything that was going on.
“C’mon Eds. What’s your favorite sex position?” She insisted and Eddie’s eyes clenched tightly and then sighed, looking at Steve with pure hatred in his eyes.
“Cowgirl.” 
Huh? That’s it? That’s not—
“Oh.” 
Silence. Absolute silence. Your face started to heat up, slowly, as well as your entire body because– fuck, the images. You can’t imagine that. Not with Eddie. He is just a friend who helped you through your breakup. So you two share the same sex position, what’s the big deal?
“Damn, I love it too man, but reverse cowgirl is where it’s at.” Argyle commented, finally breaking the silence and you couldn’t hold it in, snorting out a laugh. Brown eyes were staring at you, bewildered, but a smile started creeping on his face and soon he was laughing alongside you.
“You know what’s funny?” Eddie called out to you and you opened your eyes to look at him, a mischievous smile on his face as he leaned towards you, making you lean and tilt your head to look at him. You were sitting after all, and you weren’t even close to eachother, yet, you could smell his cologne, like a fire spreading all over your body.
“What’s that Munson?” You replied with a sly smirk, which Eddie enjoyed as he pointed at Steve.
“He likes cowgirl too… and he likes to be one.” Jonathan spat everything that was in his mouth, cracking up loudly and shaking his head, while Steve turned three shades of red, grabbing onto a Dorito and throwing it in Eddie’s way.
“I’m going to fucking kill you after this.” Steve grumbled under his breath as he took a sip out of his beer and looked at Robin to continue the game while Jonathan tried to regain his breath next to his boyfriend. Argyle was patting his back, holding back the laughter while your shoulders shook, keeping the snorts in.
You looked up in order to see Robin asking Nancy to grab a card for her since she couldn’t move, but you noticed in your peripheral vision, a pair of dark eyes looking at you, almost boring into your skull. You turned your head to see Eddie moving to sit on the floor as well now, next to you. 
“May I help you Munson?”
“Wanted to sit like the peasants.” He replied with a smirk, taking a sip of his beer and you raised an eyebrow at him, bumping his shoulder with yours.
“Aw, did you feel a little bit lonely on the couch?” You giggled as you fixed your hair, pushing a strand behind your ear. “Needed some company?” 
And Eddie stared at you, an eyebrow raised up, almost as if testing you. You felt everything stop for a second, and that stupid knot in your belly turned again, bothering you once more. It was as if… you were nervous. Or anxious? But even so, you can’t pull your eyes away from him at all, and they widen as a smirk forms on his lips, leaning close to you, and a voice you never heard before coming from him. Low, only for you to hear.
“You offerin’ Peach?” 
What?
“Everyone that ever cheated, takes two sips!” Robin’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. Eddie was looking at Robin with a roll of his eyes, and your best friend clapped in excitement that no one in the room cheated before with any partner. 
But– What? Did Eddie just– No… He didn’t. He was just teasing, like a friendly banter. Fake flirting and all that. This is what it was, wasn’t it? You are definitely overthinking. Yet– why the fuck did you like it?
You took a long sip of your beer and noticed it was already empty. Soon, you all had your second drink of the night and the dares and truths kept coming, making everything enjoyable and fun.
Steve gave you a peck on the lips because his card said to kiss the opposite sex or he takes a shot, and he wasn’t going to risk his head with either Robin or Nancy. 
Jonathan took a shot because he preferred to not do the dare he got. He disliked the idea of having to take a body shot out of someone’s belly button, even if it were Steve’s. In Jonathan’s words, you never know what goes in there, and you honestly agree with it. 
Argyle probably got the funniest of them all.
“C’mon Brochacho, get up!” Eddie was whining next to you, shaking his head and you were laughing as you patted his shoulder.
“You just have to stay still, Eds.” And he only shot a glare your way as he got up from the floor to walk towards Argyle who was jumping up and down in excitement with his phone in hand.
“I swear to god–”
“Yeah, right there’s perfect man.” Argyle pressed play on his phone and the music in the place changed to Everytime we Touch by Cascada and laughter was heard all over the room while Eddie groaned with a whine as he looked up at the ceiling, asking for mercy.
“I want to die.” You heard him talk but not a second later, Argyle started to seductively move around Eddie while the metalhead stayed still. Steve whistled through his cackles and tutted at Argyle’s movements.
“The card said ‘Use a person as your personal stripper pole or take three shots.’ and, as far as I know, you GRAB onto stripper poles!” You almost spat what you were drinking as Eddie’s eyes turned murderous, looking at his best friend, but Argyle wrapped his arms around Eddie and slowly started grinding down. 
You were filming a story for Instagram, trying to contain your laughter as you saw Argyle dancing on a very scary Eddie Munson. Your cheeks were burning and aching from how much you were smiling, and everyone else was just clapping along to the music until Eddie had enough, raising his hands up.
“Okay, it’s done!” He yelled as he ran back next to you, plopping down on the rug, exhaling harshly, and shaking all of his limbs as if that would wipe his memory from what had just happened. The music turned back to a background volume and into an 80’s mix as Argyle sat back down on your left again.
“I do personal private dances for fifty.” And Jonathan laughed, taking a few sips of his Margarita. You were still giggling at the video you took, tagging everyone in it, ready to upload it. But a strong hot breath stopped you from pressing ‘post’, very close to your cheek, and it smelt like tobacco, beer, and firewood thanks to his cologne.
“Post that, and I wreck you.” 
You clenched. Shit, that– He is just close, that’s all. For fuck sake, it’s just the cologne. You were always sensitive to smells and perfumes, and a good perfume on a man did wonders. You took a deep breath to calm yourself down before straightening up and turning your head to look at him. The knot in your stomach became painful when your nose touched his from how close he was. 
His brown eyes were staring into yours, deeply, and if you were in a state of delusion, you would think he was showing interest in them. It just made your stomach turn, your heart jump out of your throat, and it made you– nervous. It’s just Eddie. He is messing with you. Totally fucking messing with you, because that’s just who Eddie is.
A ping was heard and Eddie’s eyes blinked in surprise, pulling away to take his phone out of his back pocket. His eyes widened, jaw dropped as he stared at the notification. His eyes slowly turned to look back at you, and all you had was an innocent smile on your face as you locked your phone again, putting it on the table. 
“I’d like to see you try Munson.” And Eddie only stared at you as you reached out to get hold of a card. He hummed to himself as he looked back down at the notification of you tagging him in an Instagram story. You sat back down as you read the card for yourself, mouth dropping instantly as you cleared your throat, putting the card down.
“Um… Can I pick another one?” Everyone booed at you and you shook your head at them, feeling your entire burning a hundred degrees. “It’s just–”
You couldn’t even finish your words, the card being snatched away from your left hand in one move, draining all the blood from your body. Your stomach was flipping upside down as you saw Argyle’s smile widen as he read the card first.
“Kiss the first person on your right, on the lips, or finish your own drink and theirs.” 
You would have done the latter, if it weren’t so much, because your bottle was halfway full, and Eddie had a brand new one open. Your heart was thumping wildly in your chest, but you didn’t know why you were caring so much. It’s not like it’s anything crazy, it’s just a kiss, and friends sometimes kiss for fun without it meaning anything at all… right?
“Jeez Peach, is my face that unpleasant?” You blinked, turning your head to see Eddie with a smirk on his face, making your face turn into a mocking one.
“Maybe it is Eddie.” You would have thought that his smirk would have fallen by now, but it remained, as well as his eyes staring right into yours. You felt a sharp pain right in your chest and you knew your nerves were getting the best of you now. 
“It’s just a kiss!” Robin yelled from her chair and you glared at her as Nancy giggled on her lap. Your palms were sweating, fingertips tingling as you tried to gather up courage. You weren’t a fucking teenager, you were a grown woman, you shouldn’t be flustered by this. But Eddie is your friend now, it would be like–
“It’s either that, or you chug those two beers Peach.” Eddie was taunting you, the smirk still showing on his lips with that playful look in his eyes. His shoulder was brushing against yours as you both stared at one another. You gulped gently in order for him to not notice how nervous you felt, because you would be kissing your friend, and you really don’t want to make it weird.
But you really don’t want to chug those beers… And you can’t deny that there’s some curiosity inside of you. After all, the first time you saw Eddie you thought he was handsome. Probably even tried to flirt with him. With time, that attractiveness disappeared thanks to all the hate you felt for him and him for you… But what if it never truly disappeared? What if it was hidden?
He was sitting with his legs crossed, leaning back, using his hands and arms for support, your friends whistling for you to move and kiss him, to get over with it. And they’re right, you just have to do it and you can move on. There’s no meaning behind it. You just don’t want to do the stupid chugging. That’s all there is. 
You don’t want him. You are just nervous because he is a friend and friends don’t normally do this. It can turn everything awkward so it’s normal to feel weird about doing it. But it is just a meaningless kiss. It really is just a small and boring kiss.
You leaned towards him and you couldn’t reach him. You would have to move your entire body to lean all the way to his face if he didn’t lean in to meet you halfway as well.
“Munson.” You gritted out through your teeth in annoyance. He just kept grinning at you, staying in his same spot, not moving a single inch towards you.
“You are the one that has to kiss me, Peach.” Your eye twitched at his cockiness. Is he the king of England? You heard Jonathan and Argyle chuckle at the situation and that only ignited the fires within you even more, the annoyance starting to boil in your chest. Eddie lost eye contact with you to laugh with them and your arm shot upwards.
Your hand gripped the back of his head, your nails digging into his scalp and holding him tightly there, forcing him to turn his head towards you. His eyes were wide and he looked like he wanted to say something, but you didn’t let him. No. He doesn’t get to be cocky and make you seem like a coward.
You pulled him towards you, and he winced when he almost lost his balance on his arms thanks to your force. His breath was close, his cologne was stronger, making you feel a little lightheaded, but in a good way. It means nothing. It means absolutely nothing, and nothing will change between the two of you.
Because you are friends now.
But you didn’t expect for his lips to be soft. You didn’t expect to feel your stomach exploding and your chest having a heave of relief. You didn’t expect to feel an electric current go from the top of your head to the sole of your feet. You didn’t expect it to feel good. You didn’t expect the intensity of it all by just this small kiss.
You can feel him taking a deep intake of breath through his nose as you two kissed, and you held in the need of moving your lips because, fuck, you really wanted to move your lips on his. You wanted to keep kissing him because it feels so good, he feels– perfect.  It was a small and short kiss, but you made sure it was deep. You made sure to taste it accordingly.
And you pulled away with a smack of lips. Your eyes opened to find brown orbs looking at you with something you really could not decipher, but it made your whole body light on fire, almost as if you were about to combust. His eyes went back and forth on your eyes and then down to your lips, to your now reddened lips that had just kissed his. 
Was it the beer? Was the small amount of alcohol you drank able to make you feel like wanting to dive into another kiss with him? It must be. It’s done, that was it. A friendly kiss. Not even with tongue, just a peck, it was small and enough to complete the dare. You had to talk to lose the tension because you wouldn’t be able to take his stare much longer.
“Speechless Munson? Seems I’m really good.” That was your cocky answer in order to disguise the turmoil of nerves in your belly as you turned to the rest of the group who were still whistling and wooing you both. You flipped them off, not even noticing that Eddie’s eyes were still locked onto the side of your face. 
The air in the room definitely changed.
“Never thought I’d see the day you two would kiss, but, it was less weird than you two becoming friends.” Nancy replied as she grabbed a card but what she said caught your attention, and it seemed Eddie’s too because he sat back up, staring at her.
“What does that mean?” Eddie asked and you felt another wave of cold sweat at his voice, and you tried to tell your head to not raise the temperature of your body again. You don’t want to give yourself away that you were nervous or felt awkward. Nancy just shrugged at the two of you and read her card out loud.
“Everyone that wants to have sex tonight, take a drink!” She cheered loudly with a smile and she turned to look at Robin before taking a sip. Robin’s face reddened as she took a sip herself, and Steve wiggled his eyebrows at Jonathan as he raised his cup to his lips while the other had already taken his drink and rolled his eyes at his boyfriend.
Should you lie…? But you could– You could mean anybody, it wouldn’t seem like you would want to do it with him, right? Would it look like that if you drank? What if he drinks? It probably doesn’t mean with you, doesn’t it? It’s just a general feeling, wanting to have sex. It’s normal. 
So you took a sip, trying to not think too deeply into it, but then your eyes caught the tipping of a bottle on your right. You managed to not turn, keep your head forward, seeing everyone laughing, trying to not pay attention to the man on your right who had just taken a sip, at least until your nerves settled back to normal. You looked at Argyle with an eyebrow raised up.
“You– Oh right.” You giggled at that and he nodded at you with a playful look in his eyes.
“Don’t get me wrong, I totally would again, but I’m satisfied for now.” You giggled at that and nodded, feeling a bit of the tension leave your shoulders as you interacted with Argyle. You saw Robin reaching out for a card but Eddie raised his hand up.
“Nuh uh Buckley. My turn.”
“Huh? But Nancy–”
“Nancy was sitting next to me, between Peach and I. So technically, it’s my turn.” He didn’t address the fact that Nancy could already go back to her place, leaving her on Robin’s lap. Robin flipped him off and Eddie chuckled with victory as he grabbed onto a card and looked at it. You decided to break the tension with him as well because you just cannot keep being weird all night. You were acting like a teenager.
“What does that one say, Munson?” You were grinning towards him and he looked down at you, a smirk on his lips and you felt a bit of relief at the known interaction.
“All the people that wanted, at any point, to fuck a friend, take a drink.”
You blinked a few times, his words processing in your head, and then he put the card on the table, facing up. It truly did say that. You cleared your throat and you looked down at your bottle of beer. Why do you feel like you have to take a sip? Your mind kept going back to Instagram stories with a bare chest that was filled with tattoos, dirty overalls, and ringed fingers holding tools or beer cans. 
Your mind went back to his lips on your cheek. To his voice against your ear. To his breath against your cheek and lips. To his lips against yours. To his words. 
No, it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t that. He is a friend. Eddie is just a friend.
“Why are you drinking Jonathan?” Steve asked with an eyebrow raised up and that made you snap out of your thoughts, looking at the couple. “We are together, so we don’t count babe.” 
“Well…” Jonathan then pointed at you with a smile on his face. “You forgetting that I went on a date with that beautiful girl there once?” 
And you smiled at that, nodding and raising your beer with relief, clinking it with his. Maybe it wasn’t exactly sexual attraction, but… you can pretend it was. You were saving your ass. You knew you were. The realization already happened, but you can just hide it. It won’t happen, it cannot happen because it would just ruin the friendship, the group. 
You took a sip as well as Nancy and Robin. Argyle took a sip and he explained that back in California, he had this group of friends from the pizzeria he worked at, and there was this girl that was just too pretty for her own good. You were listening to him, not noticing the other person that took a sip of his beer. 
A person that wouldn’t have taken a sip before. A person that has been hungrily looking at you all night. A person who has been stalking your Instagram more than he should. A person with brown eyes whose interest is at its peak. But maybe, just like you, it’s better to not do anything about it. Save the friendship, don’t commit to it, not because of just sexual attraction.
Besides you two are adults, and you can handle these urges.
Can’t you?
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end of chapter 15
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A/N: slowly but surely. it's not called a slowburn for nothing.
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