#He's so grown up now! He's grown into such a beautiful adult <3
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SINNERMAN | Alastor x f.reader | part 3.
Summary: After Sir Pentious’s failed attempt at spying on the hotel, the Vees approach you to make a new deal—a deal that you can’t refuse. Help them take down Alastor, and you will get to kill him again. After all, the great butcher of New Orleans had killed your brother, so it was only fair that you had killed him in return. And you would love to do it again.
Tags: Alastor x f!reader, slow burn, obsessive behaviour, enemies to lovers, spying, murder
PART 1. | PART 2. | AO3
Chapter 3. Brother, oh, brother
August 21st, 1927. New Orleans.
The day had been unusually cold for New Orleans in August, but the radio station quickly turned warm as its employees and their families congregated in its halls to celebrate the station's explosive expansion. The clock had just turned ten o'clock at night, and laughter could be heard blending effortlessly with the music from the live band.
The radio station's celebration occurred in its most splendid room, an old salon converted into a restaurant and lunch room. From the ceiling hung beautiful crystal chandeliers that cast a wonderfully warm glow over the crowd of people mingling all around. The walls were painted in a deep, rich indigo that made the room feel more luxurious and intimate, with dark stained wooden accents and an oak floor. On the ceilings could a faint trace of paint still be seen from a time the ceiling had been painted, but there was no possibility of interpreting what the images were anymore.
You admired the incredible art that hung on the walls as you zigzagged through the people to get to where you thought you had seen your brother. You quickly apologised to anyone you bumped into as you squeezed between groups to avoid disturbing them. Mindful of the cream-coloured dress you had bought with your own money after working long hours as a secretary at the police station, you pressed it close to your body so it never snagged on anything or anyone else. It was the closest thing you would ever come to being considered a flapper. Something you longed for desperately. To be as free as them.
However, that would never be in the cards for you. Born from one of the wealthiest families in New Orleans, it was a miracle that your mother and father had let you work at the police station at all. Like any good daughter, you loved your parents deeply, but sometimes you wished they would loosen their leach on you.
Thankfully, you had your brother, who could get away with anything. As the eldest son, your parents expected him to one day take over the family business, but in the meantime, they let him do whatever he wanted. This led him to now work at the radio station as one of their hosts, but it was only temporary if your father would have a say.
Your brother, Joshua, had always been a wild child. Full of energy and a lust for life that you had never seen in anyone else, and as children, he had always had the nasty habit, according to your mother, of dragging you off into his various adventures. All of these minor adventures constantly ended with both of you coming home with dirt and grass stains all over your white clothes.
These small adventures never really ended, and even now, when both of you were adults, he would often help you escape your parents and their restrictive ways. Joshua frequently talked bout how when he was the head of the family business, he would buy you a one-way ticket to New York just so one of you could be free. But, in the meantime, he would invite you to various events that he and his friends would hold. This time, he had invited you to the event at the radio station.
You continued to squeeze past a larger group where one of the older men laughed rather loudly at one of his jokes before you saw your brother. You called out his name as he started to walk in the other direction. Hearing his name, Joshua quickly spun around and met your gaze with the same boyish smile you had grown up with.
"There she is!" he called and held out his hand to pull you into the group he was talking to. "Everyone, I want you all to meet my little sister."
They all greeted you by saying their own names, and you really tried to remember every single one of them. However, after a long evening of new faces, names, and job titles, it became pretty difficult to remember who was who.
"Where's Alastor? Shouldn't he be here by now?" asked a woman with short red hair as she lit a cigarette. Her emerald green dress sparkled like green stars in the evening light, and you felt a tiny bit jealous since your parents would never allow you to wear anything that beautiful. You had to think of the good family name and reputation, as they would have said.
"Oh, I saw him just a few minutes ago," Joshua answered unhelpfully as he started to look around the crowd. However, he was a short man and could not see that far over the crowd.
"He's dancing, as always," chuckled one of the men beside the redhead as he took her cigarette and used it himself. They looked so lovingly at each other that you had to turn away, for it felt like you were invading their tender moment.
"Ah, there he is. Hey, Alastor! Over here!" shouted Joshua beside you and threw his arm in the air. Waving someone over to your group. Forward stepped maybe the most beautiful man you had ever seen. The description 'Tall, dark and handsome' felt like it was made specifically for him.
Alastor towered over the group but wasn't as lanky as most men his height could be. His broad shoulders and chest balanced him out significantly, creating a statuesque figure that made you think of the marble sculptures of gods and heroes from the old masters. He dragged his hand through his dark brown hair, which was tussled from all the dancing, and you silently wished that it was your hands dragging through his hair just so you could see if it felt as silky as it looked.
He was dressed in a beautiful maroon-striped suit that wonderfully complemented his warm brown skin, and a small treacherous part of your mind wondered what colour his skin would take if you dragged your nails over his back or chest.
As he got close enough to join the group, you finally saw his eye colour behind his round glasses. A rich brown that you knew would turn almost golden in the sunlight. The kind of brown eyes that the poets wrote about. A lover's gaze so sweet that it could heal any broken heart. Brown eyes as sweet as honey, brown eyes like a fire-lit light, brown eyes as rich as the depth of earth. He was mysterious, intoxicating, and your heart nearly skipped a beat when he looked down at you with his brilliant smile.
"And who might this charming belle be? I don't think we've met before."
You thought you were going to die the moment Alastor took your hand and placed a featherlight kiss on your knuckles as butterflies erupted in your stomach. Your name felt almost foreign on your lips, but oh so right, leaving his.
Behind you, you could hear your brother snort loudly before he playfully hit Alastors shoulder.
"Settle down; that's my little sister you're flirting with." That statement only made Alastor chuckle before he let go of your hand, and you instantly missed his warmth.
"Alastor? I don't think I've heard your name on the radio. Are you a host or perhaps an audio engineer?" you asked, desperate to continue to talk to the man.
Alastors smile only grew as he looked down at you. From the inside pocket of his suit, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
"I'm a host, my dear. I host the show after Joshuas," he said as he lit his cigarette and put it to his plush lips. You had to implore a tremendous amount of self-control not to openly stare at his lips and his long fingers as he held the cigarette between his index and middle fingers.
Even his hands are perfection, you thought in despair.
"The Evening Hour? Oh, I've heard about it! You play by far the best jazz in all of New Orleans."
The smile Alastor gave you felt the most genuine he had made all evening. It made you wonder how often he had to smile to hide his true feelings.
The rest of the evening went by in a haze as you continued to talk to Alastor, and it peaked when he asked you to accompany him to a dance. The lights felt brighter, the music forever tied to the memory of Alastor's hand between your shoulder blades. It was a moment in time when you forgot who you were and what life you were expected to live.
For a moment, you were only a girl in the arms of a boy when an infatuation took root in your heart. But all nights end, even the ones that feel like dreams, and soon you were forced to say goodbye to the man with the bewitching smile and beautiful eyes as you and your brother prepared to go home.
The road home was dark and cold as you walked through street after street. It felt lonelier than you expected, for Joshua did not say a single word to you. You hugged your too-thin summer coat around you as you and your brother took the backdoor through the kitchen to your home.
The room was dark and empty, just as both of you had suspected, and the only things you could see were the contours of objects in the light of the moon. Both you and Joshua quickly took off your shoes before you prepared yourselves to tip-toe through the big house.
You were halfway through the kitchen when you heard Joshua whisper your name in the dark. You turned to look at your brother, who was still standing by the door.
"Don't ever talk to Alastor again."
"What? Why?" you asked, shocked because Joshua had never demanded anything of you before, but there was a coldness to his voice that you did not like. He had an odd look on his face that you had never really seen before, and it made you hesitate, for it matched the look your father usually had before taking his anger out on others.
With a forceful tone in his voice, your brother turned to you and said, "Just stay away from him. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something about him that makes me feel uneasy." It wasn’t a plea; it was a demand and the type of demand that left no room for negotiations.
He gave you a quick glance before hastily making his exit from the kitchen, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
Joshua never invited you to the radio station after the celebrations, so you had no real reason to go over there and talk to Alastor. Days turned into weeks, and slowly, you had to accept that your one night with the man would only be that one magical night.
You had, however, no idea that your life would come crashing down on you.
November the 3d, 1927
It has been two long weeks since Joshua went missing, and your mother was beyond distraught. She has secluded herself in her bedroom, allowing only food and drink to be brought in and refusing to speak to anyone else but you. The only words she utters were those of cold certainty - she knows Joshua is dead. But you and your father adamantly refuse to believe her words.
Your father, who has always been a reserved and complicated man, had begun working longer and longer hours, dreading the thought of coming home to what remains of his family. Meanwhile, you were doing your best to keep the family functioning, but the constant worry and sleepless nights were taking their toll.
You tried to hold onto hope that Joshua had just run away, finally fed up with your father's controlling behaviour. But deep down, you know that Joshua would never have left you behind.
He had made you an important promise—to get you out of this town and as far away from your parents as possible. You clung to this promise even as the days dragged on with no news of Joshua's whereabouts. The uncertainty and fear were nearly unbearable, but you refused to give up hope.
November the 7th, 1927
The police came knocking on your family's door in the evening. You had taken the day off from work to care for your mother when one of the policemen you knew from the office asked to talk to your father.
"He isn't home right now," you answered hesitantly. Your father hadn't been home in a few days, and you had no idea when he would come home again. You would call his office every evening to ensure he was all right, but from your short phone calls with your father, you could tell he was not doing well.
"Do you know when he will be back?" the officer asked, giving you a look you knew all too well. You saw it all the time in the police station. It was the same sympathetic look newer officers would give families when they had only bad news to deliver.
Pushing your shoulders back, you took a deep breath and asked the question that you did not want the answer to.
"You've found Joshua's body, haven't you?"
The officer heaved a sigh as he looked at you with heavy eyes. A bird could be heard singing its sorrowful song somewhere in the distance as you waited for your colleague's answer.
"A part of Joshua's body was found about five miles outside of the city. Some hunters in the area found him."
"A part?" you asked, shocked. "But if it was a body part you've found, how can you be sure it's Joshua's?"
Your voice rose in pitch with every word you uttered. If only the police had found all of him. If only Joshua had run away and never returned.
"His head. We have found his head."
Ice-cold fear pierced your heart as a piece of your soul died right there, in the hallway of your family home on a Monday evening. Your father refusing to come home, a mother who would never be the same, and all you wished was that you were in New York. Far away from everything.
"I'm sorry to inform you and your family, but your brother was killed by The Butcher."
The butcher, a serial killer who had hunted New Orleans for the past year. Always so far away, jet so near, and now he had spilt his filth all over your family. Destroyed and mutilated your lives. A demon among men.
A demon whose shadow now towered over you, laughing at your weak soul. Laughing at your misery and sorrow.
A monster and everyone knew that monsters were to be hunted like the animals they were.
You would see the end of the butcher if you so died trying.
A little flashback. Oh, how the wide-eyed wonder died fast.
Taglist: @martinys-world @tremendoushearttaco @fairyv-ice @azmosposts @nyx91
#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanfiction#alastor x you#x reader#alastor the radio demon#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel alastor x reader#hazbin alastor x reader#hazbin alastor x you#sinnerman alastor fic
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Gift (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Gaster#Papyrus#Second go around! Maybe he can talk about it with the one who actually got the scarf!#Or not haha - better to just let some things lie#Though ♪ Of course Papyrus would recognize Gaster's efforts ♥ His emotional intelligence hhhh <3#He knows everything there was Gaster's initially and so reading between the lines of Gaster telling him he can have it#It's a gift! Properly! That deserves praise!! Good job you did something nice!#I also deeply love when Gaster is first pulled back out how one of his first little smiles is at Papyrus being silly#Gaster is also very prideful! It's cute to see his son being self-aggrandizing in that kid way! Seeing him enjoy it is so nice ;;#Also I know that Papyrus is still shorter than Gaster I just really like the idea of him being almost his dad's height ;;#He's so grown up now! He's grown into such a beautiful adult <3#It does make sense that he's still shorter considering the whole ''torn in half'' thing ahh#Maybe Gaster is leaning down just let me have this lol#I also ended up doing a lot of digital reconstruction on this one!#Especially panels 2 through 4 - I actually pulled out my tablet to draw in the bits that got cut off by the surrounding doodles#I wasn't as careful with my spacing with these oops :P But I think they turned out pretty style-matched :)#Cute lads happy <3
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hot distraction [bisexual!y/n]
authors note: a little cheeky subby!y/n smut for you guys, had this idea in my drafts for months and months but i never really got round to writing it. anyway, here you go darlings, enjoy <3
warnings: dom/sub relationships, unprotected sex, kissing, teasing, swearing, spanking, dirty talk, anal (fingering)
word count: 2,862
summary: y/n breaks up with her girlfriend and harry helps take her mind off things.
//
Harry has no idea what to do. He’s never seen her cry before and he doesn’t know if he should give her a hug or try to make light of the situation.
“I don’t even know why I’m crying.”
Harry’s even more confused than he was before. He’ll never ever understand women’s emotions. And by the sight before him, he doesn’t think he ever wants to.
“S’okay, petal. It hurts now but it’ll be a distant memory in a few weeks time.”
She scoffs at him, at his sorry attempt to cheer her up. Y/N doesn’t need or want pity. She wants to warn off all women and whore it up for a little bit.
If she’s honest, the breakup has been a long time coming. They’d only been together six months but things weren’t the same as when they first met.
Alora was a beautiful woman, funny and kind. But the first few times of fooling around were a lot more exciting than six months in, where her sex drive seemed to just vanish.
Y/N has thought that perhaps she was the problem. Maybe she craves sex too much and too often and that’s the issue. She also thought that maybe she secretly had a fear of commitment and that’s what made her more than okay with Alora calling things off.
She knows now that’s not the case. Alora was seeing other people behind Y/N’s back. Given, they never really spoke about being exclusive, but Y/N had just assumed that if Alora was seeing other people, she’d have the decency to let Y/N know.
And now, she’s about ready to swear off all women.
She stands from the sofa, wiping the tears from her face and taking a shaky breath. There’s no way in hell she’s going to ruin her Friday night sobbing over another woman. No fucking chance.
“Do you have plans tonight?” she asks Harry, chin raised as she acts unbothered by her situation.
Harry shakes his head. “No, why? You wanna go out?”
Her lip is taut between her teeth as she considers the proposition. A night out could be perfect – sex with a hot, random stranger will most definitely take her mind off things.
She nods, once. But it’s like Harry can smell the hesitation. He squints at her, leaning forward in his spot on the sofa.
“You’re not just wanting to go out so you can have a one night stand, are you?”
“No!” her voice is high-pitched, a dead giveaway that that’s exactly what she plans on doing.
Harry huffs, closing his eyes for a moment. It’s no secret that he’s got the hots for Y/N. He’s always found her incredibly attractive. But in the two years he’s known her, she’s only ever dated women.
He doesn’t think there’s ever even been an instance where she’s acknowledged another man. Harry notices her sheepish expression and his tummy knots and twists.
“If you were into guys…” he mumbles out, more to himself but it still reaches Y/N’s ears and she frowns.
“I am.”
Harry’s head snaps up, staring at her in bewilderment. “You are? I thought you were gay.”
Y/N laughs softly. “I am… slightly. I prefer men usually, but women are just softer and more attentive I find.”
Harry raises his eyebrows, a cocky smirk on his lips. Bingo.
“That just means you’ve never been with the right guys.”
His voice has grown deeper, sultry. And the entire mood of the room has changed. There’s a tension in the atmosphere, one they’re both awfully familiar with but never with one another.
“Is that so?”
They’re dancing on a tight rope between friends and something more, neither too sure who’s going to fall first. It feels naughty, wrong. So wrong to allow this tension, these thoughts.
But there’s nothing inappropriate about it. They’re both single, consenting adults. What would it matter if he kissed her? If she kissed him back? If he spent an hour between her legs and had her creaming all over his cock?
“And from what you’ve been telling me, wasn’t you getting frustrated that Alora was too vanilla?”
Heat rises to her cheeks at his words. Harry moves closer, tips of his fingers ghosting are her bare thighs, the hem of her baggy t-shirt barely covering her knickers underneath.
“Something tells me, you don’t want something soft. You’ve just never been manhandled the way you want, so you’re taking the easier route.”
Y/N has never felt so seen in her life. “Isn’t that right, pet?”
She grows shy under his words, feeling small and vulnerable and her little panties are fucking soaked.
“Maybe,” she squeaks.
Harry’s smirk grows tenfold, eyes dark and lustful. His gaze never leaves her face as he stands in front of her. His tall build towering over Y/N’s.
“Personally, I think you just want to be a good girl…”
His hand finds her face, gently caressing her jaw as he speaks. When her eyes flutter closed absentmindedly, she hears Harry tut before her.
“Keep those pretty eyes open, puppy.”
Her eyes open, wide. All doe-like and fluttery. It awakens that hunger deep in Harry’s stomach – one full of need and desire.
“Y/N… d’you like it when I call you puppy?”
She nods, so innocent and sheepish. It has Harry’s cock twitching in his pants. God, she’s going to be the death of him.
Y/N’s nuzzling her face into his hand, eyes heavy but open, like she doesn't want to be scolded by Harry. He pouts down at her, a look of sympathy in his eyes and Y/N’s never felt so warm and safe.
“My poor petal, all touch starved and needy.”
It’s like a flip has been switched within her. She’s no longer that bubbly and bratty girl he’s always known. She’s soft and quiet, desperate and eager to please and Harry is stretching out his boxers.
“Go in your bedroom for me, puppy. Want you naked with your legs spread.”
He places a gentle kiss to her lips, barely offering a taste of what’s to come. The act has her heart leaping before she rushes to her bedroom to rid herself of any clothes.
She’s never allowed herself to look at Harry in the way she is now. She always told herself that friends are only friends and never to indulge in anything else with them.
Y/N can admit that she’s always found him attractive, always enjoyed his company and mayb often stared a little too long whenever he was topless or when the veins in his arms and hands were that little bit more visible than usual.
She supposes he’s always had some sort of chokehold on her, something she’s never thought too deep about. But now, she can’t get out of her head. Laying naked on her bed, legs spread as he approaches her bedroom door.
She’s pulsing, cunt hot and leaking. God, she doesn't remember the last time she felt this turned on, this excited, this ready to submit completely.
Whatever he wants, she’ll give him. Whatever he offers, she’ll take.
Harry eyes her as he enters her bedroom, gaze focused on that weeping little cunt. He’s holding his breath, fighting back a wanton cry. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything so sexy in his life.
Y/N watches with glossy eyes as he tugs his t-shirt over his head, the ripples of his golden skin exciting her more. If he’ll let her, she’ll happily lick the expanse of every single tattoo adoring his body.
She’ll do anything. Anything.
Her hips begin to squirm as his thumbs loop into the waistband of his shorts and boxers, anticipation getting the better of her. Harry notices, pulls his hands away and raises a brow.
“I don’t remember saying you could move.”
Y/N’s body stills, blood running cold. Her lips are pursed into a thin line – “I’m sorry.” Her words come out shyly, like she’s embarrassed to be told off.
Harry tuts, no longer interested in pulling himself free. Instead he moves toward the foot of the bed and climbs up on his knees, sitting between her shaking thighs.
Y/N’s chest is heaving in excitement, bottom lip gnawed between her teeth. Harry reaches for her left thigh, gently massaging the soft and supple skin before raising his hand and dropping it again in a harsh smack.
She shrieks at the unexpected impact, brows knitted as she bites back a moan.
Oh, he wasn’t fucking around.
“If you’re sorry then you’ll lay on your tummy and take your punishment.” He flips her over before she has chance to register his words. Flat on her stomach, hands held behind her back, Harry takes her in.
He lets his hand caress her hips for a moment, trailing down to her bum and he smoothes over the skin. “And I don’t want to hear a fucking sound.”
He spanks her once, her entire body jolting. Y/N buries her face into her pillows, suffocating any desperate moans that beg to be cried. She keeps quiet, eyes rolled to the back of her head.
Harry spanks her again, harder this time. His hand print is left on her supple skin and he groans to himself. He spreads her cheeks apart for a moment, allows himself the sight of her dripping cunt, eagerly trying to clench around something.
“Look at you, puppy. So wet and good for me.”
Smack.
Smack.
Smack!
Her bottom is sore, stinging as he finally relents. There’s tears in her eyes as she struggles to compose her breathing. She’s not brave enough to admit she almost came from her punishment.
Harry takes a moment to admire his work, how raw her pretty bum is. Her skin is beginning to rise in the form of his handprint, sore and tender. He holds her hips, thumbs rubbing along the stripey lines of silvering stretch marks on the sides of her bum.
“Pretty puppy, did so well for me.”
She coos at his praise, fingers wiggling in an attempt to feel him. Harry chuckles, leaning down to pepper kisses to her bum and up her spine. He fools her with his kindness for a moment, allowing her body to relax under his touch.
But when his lips reach her neck, he grabs a handful of her hair and yanks her head up, teeth nipping at her jaw and nosing at her ear.
“Now you’re going to be a good puppy and let Daddy fuck your pretty little hole, okay?”
Y/N’s cunt throbs at his words. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Fuck, she can’t get it out of her head. Harry releases his hold on her hair, her face dropping back into her pillows as he clambers off her.
He strips from his boxers and shorts, thick length smacking at his lower tummy as he clambers back onto the bed again. Harry’s hard, painfully so and Y/N wants nothing more than to lay on her back and watch him work his way around her body.
But he doesn’t allow that. Instead, his hands find her hips and he’s hoisting her bum in the air, back arched and chest to the mattress with her face buried in the pillows.
The sight is mesmerising and Harry can’t look away. Pretty pussy all wet and plump. The tip of his cock slides through her slit and Harry lets out a shaky whimper. A noise that does not go unheard by Y/N, who’s jaw slacks at the sound of it.
She’s eager for more, gagging for his cock. She’s never felt so submissive in her life, so willing to be used as a fuck toy. And she never would’ve pegged Harry for the type.
Y/N supposes he does possess a lot of dominant qualities. Whenever he speaks, all eyes are on him. Whatever he says, it’s always respected. And when Harry doesn’t like something, nobody challenges him.
It’s been right in front of her the whole time. They’ve both been so blind.
“So pretty, baby. Look at you.”
The praise goes straight to her head. She’s woozy and needy and thinks she might fucking cry if he doesn’t fill her with his cook soon.
“Daddy’s good little puppy. Want me to fill your little hole, baby? Want Daddy to fuck you so hard you can’t even remember your name?”
Y/N’s too deep into subspace to respond, but that’s not a good enough excuse for Harry. He strikes down on her sore bum again and she shrieks, nodding feverishly.
“Yes, Daddy! Please, I’ve been so good.”
The sound of her begging is something Harry will never let himself forget. Her body responds to every tiny touch he offers, she keens for him. For more.
Lining himself at her hole, Harry pushes forward just enough to allow her half of his length. A wanton cry escapes her lips, muffled by her pillow as her body tenses.
Harry gives her little time to adjust to his length, sheathing himself further into her tight hole until he bottoms out.
Y/N struggles to stay quiet, struggles to not reach for him, to touch him. Harry reaches for her hands again, pulling them behind her back and holding her in place by her wrists.
“You’re fucking soaked, puppy.” He praises, breathless at the sight of himself tucked deep inside her.
Harry begins to rock his hips, slowly at first until he finds a comfortable pace and her ass jiggles with every thrust he gives. Y/N’s cunt grips him like a vice, obscene noises filling their ears and Harry decides he wants to hear more.
“Wanna hear you, puppy. Tell Daddy how good it feels.”
Y/N is wailing the second she’s given permission, wild and desperate and begging for more and more and more.
Harry’s thumbing at her puckering asshole, softly smoothing over the taut skin as Y/N begins to buck her hips back into him. He’s seething through gritted teeth, struggling to keep himself together as he gently pushes his thumb into her tight hole.
“Yes, Daddy! Please… please….”
She’s incoherent as she tries to speak, words still muffled and gurgled. She can feel him in her stomach, filling every inch of her body and subconscious mind. As if she exists solely for him, for his pleasure.
“My sweet girl, taking me so well. Look at you, puppy. All dumb for my cock.”
Harry’s thrusts get harder and faster, his thumb lodged deep in her ass as he fucks into her. Y/N’s arousal soaks his pubic bone, skin slapping and gruff moans echoing through.
She can’t stay quiet, not even if she tried. Moans are tearing throug her throat with no sense of hesitancy, her entire body being rocked as Harry pummels into her.
Eyes rolling to the back of her head, jaw slack, she’s close. Her cunt begins to tighten around him, desperate to mild him dry for everything he has to offer. And Harry can feel it – he feels every little squeeze she gives him, every spasm of her slick pussy.
His spare hand smacks down on her bum in quick, constant successions, his pace impossibly faster and the breath is knocked from her lungs.
She can’t see, can’t think, can’t hear. It’s like her soul has left; experiencing eternal bliss for the first time in her life. But she feels Harry’s fat cock twitch between her walls, she feels the stinging bite of every spank, she feels her coil begin to tighten and pull.
“You gonna cum, puppy? You gonna cum all over my cock?” Harry pants.
She’s nodding, unable to find her words. It takes her a moment to catch a breath. “Please,” is all she can manage to whimper out, her entire body on fire.
Harry spanks her again, eager and hot moans bubbling from his chest. “Cum, puppy. Make a mess on Daddy’s cock.”
Y/N’s entire body begins to tremble relentlessly, a high pitched whine falling off her tongue as she explodes around him.
Her arousal coates his cock and stomach, squirting out the best it can with Harry’s length still shoved in her cunt. The sight of her squirting all over him has him seeing stars, and he’s quick to pull out, coating her back and bum in thick ribbons of arousal.
“Jesus fucking Christ.”
He’s a panting mess as Y/N’s hips fall onto the mattress with a soft thud. He watches her body move gently as she catches her breath, listens to the soft pants that escape her plump lips.
Only now does he realise, he’s yet to kiss her the way he’s been dreaming. Harry crawls beside her, brushing the hair from her face and she’s quick to nuzzle into his touch.
He moves closer, his lips encapsulating hers in a soft and tender kiss. Both their eyes flutter closed and their mouths work in unison, gently. Y/N never knew she’d crave the taste of someones lips until Harry pulls away and rests his forehead against hers.
“Have a nap, puppy. You’ll need your energy for later.”
//
thank you for reading, i'd love to hear your guys' thoughts on this one 🥺
#harry styles#harry styles smut#harry styles oneshot#harry styles imagine#imagine harry styles#harry styles x you#harry styles x reader#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst#harry styles fic
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soft launch.
in which, mick is soft launching you.
mich schumacher x reader.
fc: sophia birlem.
liked by maxverstappen1, estebanocon, y/n and 789 009 others.
mickschumacher: holiday season 🏝🗺
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fan1: wait a damn minute…
fan2: WHO IS THAT
fan3: with all due respect you look delicious but WHO is that lovely lady?
fan4: the pic is so cute omg
fan5: whoever that is i hope she’s good to him
fan6: NOT MY HUSBAND
fan7: mick soft launching?
fan8: the rings 🫠
fan9: who is that slut next to mick?
fan10: new wag alert
fan11: those comments are not it, he’s a grown ass man let him be
fan12: i bet he’s going to ditch her after summer ends lmao
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mickschumacher just posted a story!
y/n just posted a story!
liked by mickschumacher, estebanocon, francisca.cgomes and 240 103 others.
y/n: say hi to mickey <3
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fan1: YOURE SO BEAUTIFUL OMG
fan2: mick is one lucky mf
fan3: they’re going to break up in a month mark my words
fan4: i’m literally heartbroken rn
fan5: my new parents
fan6: girlie run they’re coming for you
francisca.cgomes: cuties
liked by y/n.
fan7: they compliment each other so well tho
mickschumacher: hi pretty lady
liked by y/n.
fan8: mick i hope you can fight bc your girlfriend is GORG
fan9: the pictures are so cute omg
fan10: the mick girlies already crying in the comments
fan11: he hid her so well wdym he had a whole gf this entire time?
fan12: i’m so happy for him qjjabakzlzm
fan13: thanks for your service y/n, we now have tons of pictures of bf material mick
y/n: 🫡
fan14: the BIG ASS hickey in the first picture wtf
fan15: ew you can tell she’s classless
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liked by mickschumacher, lilymhe, carmenmundt and 192 023 others.
y/n: my camera roll is full of cats we met on the street and mickey
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carmenmundt: ♥️
fan1: their vibe is so chill, they really match each other
fan2: i’m a lil sad that mick is dating someone but she seems nice
estebanocon: i see two owls in that pic
fan3: nooooo they’re so cute
fan4: she’s getting so much hate on twitter but she’s just minding her business??
fan5: WHORE
fan6: don’t worry guys she won’t last till the end of the season 🤭
fan7: the obsession y’all have with random men who don’t even know y’all exist is insane
fan8: so CUTE
fan9: i bet mick paid for everything lmao
mickschumacher: she actually paid the whole trip, i’m just her sugar baby
fan10: JAKQOSPSPPSPSOS BRO
fan11: and that’s how you clap back at haters, guys
fan12: if only others drivers were defending their gfs like mick is defending y/n
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liked by mickschumacher, estebanocon, luisinhaoliveira99 and 501 019 others.
y/n: ‘cars outside’ is out :)
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fan1: not it being a love song for mick :(
fan2: WHY am i crying hysterically about two adults being in love
fan3: "oh darling, all of the city lights, never shine as bright as your eyes." GOD
mickschumacher: why did i do to deserve you?
fan4: they’re so in love it’s almost disgusting
fan5: esteban will have to third wheel now lmao
estebanocon: i’ve been third wheeling for a year now
fan6: A YEAR???
fan7: THEY’VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A YEAR??
fan8: a year like 365 days? damn schumacher
fan9: nah but hiding a whole gf for a year when you have crazy groupies up your ass every single day is insane
fan10: the cutest couple if you ask me
fan11: i just fell to my knees
fan12: WHEN IS IT MY TURN GODDAMNIT
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taglist: @ferrariloverr
#f1 fandom#f1 au#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 instagram au#f1 social media au#f1 x oc#f1 x reader#f1 x you#mick schumacher#mick shumacher imagine#mick schumacher x you#mick schumacher x reader#formula one x reader#formula one#formula one x you#formula one x y/n#formula 1
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All the Pretty Stars (shine for you, my love)
Ellie x Reader
tags: fluff, stargazing, loser Ellie, cursing, best friends to lovers, one-shot, Loser!Ellie, Jackson!Ellie
synopsis: You and Ellie have been friends since she first came to Jackson. The moment you saw her, you knew she was special. Years later you suddenly realize you're in love with her. One day while stargazing, everything changes between the two of you.
Or: A fluffy fic with making out and a cute little forehead kiss at the end.
word count: 4.7k
AN: I might make a second part with angst. I'm not sure I just rlly wanna write Ellie angst but we'll see if I ever get the time to. School is taking over my life. Anyway, I posted this on ao3 too: All the Pretty Stars (shine for you, my love) by siriusly_not_moony
Enjoy! <3
The view of the stars in Jackson was the best thing anyone could ever see. Ever since the outbreak, there hasn’t been much light pollution outside of QZs. Meaning,1 there’s a good view almost anywhere else. This makes the view of the stars pretty clear, but Jackson has something everywhere else doesn’t have. Ellie Williams. Stargazing with her isn’t just “stargazing.”
Ellie first got to Jackson when she was fourteen, you remember very clearly. Seeing her for the first time quite literally knocked the breath out of you. You’d been in Jackson for a while before her, still adjusting to the new environment. Tommy had finally given into your pestering to improve your defense skills for patrol at 14. Maria never let you go of course, she said you needed more practice and maybe when you turned 16, she would let you. Once she let up, going on patrols with Tommy, Joel, and Ellie, made the pair of you closer. Your connection with Tommy is how you got to meet Ellie. Without him, you probably would have never approached her. He kept insisting you should talk to her, “She’s only a few weeks apart from you, Joel says she’s a good kid. Just talk to her.” “Kid, you need friends, just say hi.” “You know, Joel says she likes comics. Just like you.”
Meeting Ellie was confusing to describe it at best. She was kind, but very curt with all her responses. You almost felt as if she didn’t really care to get to know you. As for you, she was all you thought about since you first saw her.
Joel and Tommy were talking as the three of them walked down to the stables. You watched quietly as they got closer. Ellie stayed close to Joel, but a bit behind silently looking down, looking anywhere but the pair of brothers. It was obvious she felt a bit out of place. You honestly felt bad for her. She must not know anyone in Jackson yet, the only people she knows are grown adults.
They stopped near the open doors of the stables; you were in the first stall brushing Willow’s mane. She was your neighbor’s horse, but she liked you a lot for some reason.
You leaned against the stall door, “Hi.”
Ellie took a few seconds to turn around and see you, a straight look on her face, but her eyes. She has sad eyes. Beautiful, sad, green eyes. The eyes you want to stare at forever, to draw hundreds of times until it’s perfect. The eyes that put you in a trance when you see them up close. And those freckles.
Regret started to fill your stomach, but you pushed it back. You’re doing this for her, so she has a friend. Not because she’s the prettiest person you’ve ever seen. Her eyes were so mesmerizing. You’ve never seen eyes so hypnotizing. And they were looking at yours now. “Hi?”
“Oh,” You introduce yourself completely forgetting how social interactions go for a moment. “I—uh Tommy mentioned you’re about my age, I just wanted to introduce myself. I’ve only been in Jackson for about a year, so I know what it’s like to be new to it all. But, um, if you want a look around, I can show you?”
“Uh,” She looked back at Tommy and Joel. They were definitely into whatever it was they were talking about. You could see Ellie’s internal debate deciding if she should or shouldn’t accept your offer. “Sure.”
“Cool! I’m kind of still learning new things about this place every day. It’s kind of awesome how a place like this is growing and flourishing. It gives me hope you know?”
“Yeah.”
“So, where are you from?”
“Boston QZ.”
“Oh.” She seemed distracted. Or uninterested, who could tell? “So, what brought you here?”
She sighs, “It’s a long story. I came here with Joel. He was looking for Tommy. He found him now so…that’s that.”
You didn’t want to ask about that yet, it seemed a bit too sensitive for a first conversation. “This is the community garden. Some people grow their own stuff in their own yards for easy access, but this is the main source. We all help out here.”
You showed her around the most important parts of town. You found out she’s staying around the corner, just a minute's walk away. She cracked a smile once when you mentioned that almost everyone you knew would rather run into infected than listen to Seth drunkenly rant about his philosophical discoveries that make zero sense. You walked her back to her place after roughly less than an hour. You gave her directions to your place and said goodbye with a smile. The one you got in return made you weak to your knees.
After that first interaction, you didn’t speak for a couple of days before you saw her at the diner for breakfast. After that, you got breakfast together every day, which led to hanging out together. After a couple weeks of talking, you actually felt a really strong connection to her. She was your first real friend, and it was the best thing ever.
A couple years later, once Maria let you out on patrol, you convinced her to let you go with Ellie. And Joel and Tommy of course. She wouldn’t trust just the two of you alone. At this point, you spent most of your days with her. You got to know Joel too. You got to know just how sassy that man was despite his tough exterior. He was definitely Tommy’s brother.
Now, it was safe to say Ellie was your best friend. You two also made friends with Dina, Jesse, Cat, Riah, and Travis. You were also acquainted with a few others who you met through Dina. Meeting Dina really brought you out of your shell, and you can thank her for it. She’s the reason why you allowed yourself to become friends with other people. Dina was both yours and Ellie’s closest friend, besides each other. That’s why you came to Dina when you realized you were completely in love with Ellie. You knew you had a crush on her when the two of you had just started talking, but you were convinced it would go away. You pushed it back and kind of thought it did go away, but years later you now know that’s not the case. One day it just dawned on you that you were in love with her. One random, normal day.
You and Ellie were lying about on her bed. You found a bottle of alcohol on patrol and obviously brought it back. You two were drinking out of it just until you felt a buzz, not trying to get too drunk. Because of this, you two reached a somewhat dizzy and sleepy state. She was practicing a familiar tune on the guitar while you were sketching exactly what you saw. You both bonded over drawing, she was definitely better than you. She was always getting so much better so quickly. It was amazing. You were drawing the freckles on her face and that one distinct freckle on the top of her left cheek when you just started staring freely at her. She was distracted and you took the opportunity to just take in all of her features. In doing so, you got a dangerously strong feeling of butterflies in your stomach. You felt it first, and then a few beats later you realized what that meant. Your breath was suddenly gone.
Shit.
You sat up clenching your jaw trying to think straight for just one moment.
I’m in love with Ellie Fucking Williams…
In love. Love. God, this isn’t going to go away.
That night you slept beside her which was kind of a normal thing for the two of you. She slept soundly from what you could hear, but you stayed up for hours nervous and jittery. You only got a few hours of consistent sleep.
When you finally got the chance to tell Dina, she already knew of course. You told her about your “big realization,” but she said it was incredibly obvious from the very beginning. She even thought you and Ellie were dating before you two became friends with her.
She helped you come up with an outline on what to tell Ellie. It really shouldn’t be that difficult to talk about your feelings, but this is Ellie. Your best friend who you know is a bit emotionally constipated. You feel like even if there was a chance that she liked you back, she would never grant herself the ability to do anything about it. For someone so deserving, she never let herself be truly happy.
“You got this.” Dina grinned your way as she walked you to the door.
You spun quickly back towards her ready to go back to her bed and just talk to her instead of Ellie.
Dina grabbed your shoulders and turned you back to the door, literally kicking you out. “Nope. You’re doing this today. Trust me, it’ll work out.”
“No Dina, I really don’t think I can. If she turns me down, I will actually hide away forever. I’ll go throw myself into a horde of infected and it’ll be your fault.”
She lets out a long sigh and gives you a knowing look as you stand outside her door, “If you never do it you could be missing out on something really beautiful. At least try? You both deserve to be happy.”
You groan loudly. You agree with her of course, if the roles were reversed you would probably tell Dina the same thing. “Okay. I’ll do it, just give me a few days to prepare. I’ll talk to her sometime this week. I want to.”
“Yes you will.”
“Thank you Dina. I probably would have rotted in self-doubt without you. I’ll see you for dinner.”
“Bye Hun.” She gives you a small finger wave as you walk away.
After that conversation with Dina, you tried to keep your feelings for Ellie behind a curtain. The last thing you would want is to make things weird between you and her. You also noticed that knowing how you felt and continuing your friendship as normal was pretty tiring. You had to constantly think about every choice you made and every word you said. In a perfect world, you told her the moment you knew and she told you she liked you back. Too bad. This isn’t that world. Ellie is hard to read. Yeah, she smiles at you a lot, will stare at you when she thinks you don’t notice, and she’ll hold you or play with your hair when you guys watch movies. That’s being friendly. You kinda do some of those things with Dina? Despite your internal emotional battle, you told Dina you would tell Ellie. You’re not doing this for Dina though, you’re doing this for yourself. Going on pretending you’re not completely in love with Ellie would be too much.
It was a couple days later when got to spend the entire day with Ellie. Those days came rarely now. You love spending time with Ellie, so it wasn’t exactly a problem, but you definitely needed some time alone at the end of it all. You were laying down in an empty field behind one of the small playgrounds. The grass was a bit taller and uncomfortably itchy, so you had a sheet under you and your mini telescope lens Maria gave you for your 16th birthday. This was your spot to look at the stars at night. Ellie would usually go with you since she loves space too, but you didn’t tell her you were here this time. Because of that, you didn’t expect to hear footsteps approaching. Much less Ellie’s footsteps.
You sit up to look behind you, “What’re you doing here?”
“Tommy told me where you were.”
“I thought you were going to sleep earlier tonight since you have morning patrol.”
“Yeah, but…I dunno, I changed my mind.” She sat beside you partly on the grass. You knew she wouldn’t really be bothered by the grass since she’s wearing pants and a long sleeve, but you scooted over to make a bit more room for her. You patted the spot next to you and she took the offer and smiled, “I wanted to make sure you were okay. You were kinda spacey today. You know? I feel like you zoned out a lot.”
“Oh yeah, I’m fine.” You stare back up at the sky hoping she isn’t thinking too much into your behavior. “I’ve just been tired.”
“Yet you’re out watching the stars in the middle of the night.”
You chuckled, “Whatever.”
You let out a big sigh. A few moments of silence fall over you two, but it’s comfortable.
You lay back down on your sheet to get a good look at a small bunch of stars that look like one of the constellations you read about. You turn your head a bit to the right, and you are finally able to connect the stars and make out the figure you’ve been trying to find for a few nights. Ellie’s still sitting up, watching you observe the stars. You look at her and she takes a few seconds to notice. She had a soft smile on her face that was so beautiful it haunted you. When she notices you’re shift of attention she darts her eyes around before finally settling back on you, accompanied with a confused look.
“I found it!”
“Found it?”
“The constellation we were looking for the other night. I found it. C’mere.”
She lays down by you, her shoulder touching yours. “Where?”
“Here!” You point to a spot in the sky, but it doesn’t seem very effective. You lean over, your face so close to Ellie’s, looking at the sky. Your eyes are trying their hardest to stay focused on the sky despite the fact that Ellie’s eyes are like magnets. You’re trying to see the stars from her perspective to give her a better idea of where the bunch of stars are. “There.” You say quietly due to your proximity.
When she notices your eyes on the sky her eyes follow, hoping you didn’t see where her eyes were originally. She looks back at you and her eyes dart to your lips before looking back and forth between your left and right eyes. She slightly licks her lips causing you to look at them. It becomes too much so you lay back down in your original spot.
You take a few seconds to regain your calm, releasing a soft sigh. “Um, this was the dog constellation I was telling you about.” You had a moment. You definitely had a moment.
“The one with that super bright star? Sirion? No, wait, Sirius?”
“Yeah, Sirius. Did you learn that from the constellation book I gave you?”
“Obviously…Have you read the space mysteries book I gave you?”
“I’ll have you know that I have read some of it, actually.”
“You haven’t.” She said with a deadpan face.
“No, I really have,” you say giggling, “I swear!”
“I can never tell when you’re being sarcastic.” She rolls her eyes and lets out a gruff breath as she turns her head the other way.
You two lay in silence for a few minutes enjoying the quiet ambience. In Jackson, most settle down around 10:30 p.m. The only noise you hear now is the wind causing leaves to rustle against each other, a few crickets, and the soft background of cicadas.
“I have a question.” Ellie says randomly.
“What?” You respond still laying down on your back, eyes darting between Ellie and the sky. One reason why you love the stars and constellations so much might, or might not, be because of how they remind you of Ellie’s freckles. It just makes so much sense. She has the bigger more prominent freckles under her left eye and above her left eyebrow kind of like how there are brighter stars in constellations. You smile to yourself just thinking about it.
“Okay,” she says moving to lay down on her side with her head propped up on her fist, “you said that you immediately liked me when you first saw me, but what did you mean? Because I was really thinking about it the other day and I remember kind of being a jerk when we first met.”
Thinking about that makes you chuckle. She wasn’t that much of a jerk she just acted as most teens do when they see someone their age. The weird critical glances and kind of guarded attitude. “I don’t know. You—I mean… you weren’t a jerk from what I remember. Maybe I just ignored it. But, you did seem shy like you were afraid to make friends and I think that made me want to be friends with you more. And I liked you when I instantly saw you because you… I don’t know I just immediately knew I had to talk to you. I didn’t have any real friends at that point in my life, but I thought maybe it could be you.”
“Wow.”
“Shut up. I don’t mean to be cheesy but I just got a feeling I guess.”
“No, no, it’s cute.”
“Yeah whatever… What about you? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you’re first impression of me. Just that you’re glad that I talked to you.”
“I mean there’s not much to say. You said it all.”
“Uh, yeah. I said my side. Now I wanna know your side.” You poke her shoulder with your finger to make your point.
“Ok… fine,” She pauses for a second gathering her thoughts, “I remember seeing you kinda linger around when I first rode in with Joel. I didn’t want to look your way ‘cause I knew you were looking at me. I definitely knew you were weird.” You shove her shoulder, a wide smile plastered on your face. “I didn’t really expect to make friends actually. You already know I’ve only ever had one real friend my age, so when you came up to me, I thought I should try. I remember that talk very clearly actually. You gave me a tour and a rundown on how the social life is here. We talked a bit about our interests, and I found out you liked comics too, so I think that did it for me.”
“Aw, it wasn’t my great jokes?”
She shouts, “Ha!” Obviously making fun of you.
“Your puns are just as bad so you better keep your mouth shut.”
“My puns are amazing. You know you love them. You’ve told me before.”
“Mmm, no. Must have me confused for someone else.”
She smiles and nods her head, a sweet look on her face you wish you could take a photo of.
“The moon looks so nice right now.” She says as she stares in awe at the full moon overhead. She then reaches over you to grab the mini telescope lens. When she grabs it, it rolls off a bit causing her to lose her balance and slip. She catches herself before she slams into you, just hovering over you with her hand on the side of your head and the other half-folded on your other side providing her with support.
Your instant reaction was to grab her, so your hand is hovering over her waist, “You okay?”
“Yeah, my bad.” She still hasn’t moved, staring at your eyes, then looking around your entire face.
Your heart is beating too fast and too strong. You feel the need to breathe faster, but you can’t make it too obvious. You’re staring at her lips just waiting for her to do something because you don’t have the will to make the first move. Then you see her lips form into a smirk, so you look back up at her eyes. “What?”
“Nothing,” she says letting out a breathy laugh.
“No, what?” You say, turning red. Was she laughing at the way you looked at her lips?
“Just… you.” She’s still chuckling.
“What about me?” Your eyebrows scrunch up, an almost pouted look on your face. You feel very left out of whatever is making Ellie so entertained.
“I don’t know,” she is still laughing. “You just make me smile.”
“Ha ha. Fuck you too.” You reply out of defense feeling like she’s teasing you.
You’re partly confused because of this sudden mood change from Ellie. She’s cute when she’s giggly, but she usually only gets that way when she has a bit of alcohol in her system or when she’s taken a couple hits too many. You smile, brows still scrunched, but her comment makes you blush. You turn away from her thinking, What the fuck was that?
You turn back to face her, but she’s still smiling at you, still hovering over you. Your hand is gone from her waist and now it’s on the floor, feeling like it’s glued down. Your entire body feels frozen as if gravity has doubled in force, trying to staple you to the ground.
She stopped laughing so there’s a moment of pure silence between the two of you. That’s when it feels too real, the energy around the two of you changes completely. Her smile slowly falls and she’s staring at your lips, then looks into your eyes with permission. You could be imagining it, but that thought depleted from your brain when Ellie finally leans in. She lowers her head, only a centimeter from yours for one second almost second-guessing herself. Butterflies flood your stomach and then your entire body as you take in what is happening. You both end up moving your heads at the same time and it’s the best thing in the world. Her lips touch yours so gently, lingering there for a bit. You try to process the moment, but you can only focus on Ellie.
Ellie. Ellie. Ellie.
You move your lips against hers slowly. It’s a closed-mouth kiss that lasts a few long seconds. She pulls away, eyes closed, still so close, and she sighs shakily. You’re still looking at her in pure shock and admiration because this is it. This is what you were so scared of and it’s all you ever wanted, except you didn’t have to make the first move. She did.
Ellie repositions herself so she’s not relying on only her arms for support. She kneels down, one of your legs between the two of hers and then she lowers herself back on top of you, one hand on your neck and the other beside your head.
This time, you lean in to kiss her first and it’s different. You know what it’s like and you want more. She holds your head closer, pushing you into her as much as she can. One of your hands find the back of her head, fingers brushing through her hair. The other hand is under her shirt on her waist, moving back and forth occasionally to her lower back. She slightly moans into your mouth at the sensation. It’s not freezing outside, but your fingers hold a slight chill against her warm back. You’re thinking you could just live in this moment forever, but then things get better and your mind starts racing.
More.
Ellie’s the one to deepen the kiss, slipping her tongue into your mouth first. Then, to top it all off, she grabs your leg, pulling it down to get you closer to her. She doesn’t move her hand, keeping it on your leg stroking up and down slowly occasionally squeezing your thighs. You use that leg to feel closer to her, wrapping it around her. She pulls away for a second and you think it’s over, but she takes a deep breath and starts leaving feathery kisses down your jaw to your neck. Your eyes fall shut. It’s a struggle to stay calm when you feel her lips on your skin, her hand on your neck, fingers in your hair, and her other hand stroking your thigh.
“Ellie.” You barely croak the word out, not wanting her to stop. “Ellie,” you say a bit louder now, still a whisper “Ellie.” The last time you say her name, it comes out as a giggle. Her lips brushed against a sensitive spot on your neck.
She looks up looking dazed, “Yeah?” she whispers back.
You grab her face to pull her closer and kiss her briefly, her eyes still closed for a few seconds after you pull away and a smile forming on her face. Meanwhile, you’re grinning like a fool. You push her off of you playfully as you laugh, “We have to get back. We need some sleep.”
“Five more minutes.” She sighs staring up at the sky.
“Okay.” You sigh, “Five minutes.”
You both lay in each other’s company for those five minutes, silently processing what just happened.
“Okay five minutes are up, it’s pretty late.” You say, grunting as you push yourself up and begin to gather your things.
Ellie’s still laying down. You both know you should go home and sleep, but you don’t want to leave this moment just yet.
You sigh and kick her leg. “Get up.” You say reaching your hand out.
“Damn, okay.” She takes the invitation pulling herself up.
The two of you begin to walk towards the road where you live not knowing whose house you’re exactly going to. Ellie’s place comes up first and as you slow down to say bye, she doesn’t stop.
“Let me drop you off.” She insists turning to face you.
“Drop me off? Ellie, we’re already at your place, I’ll be fine walking down the street alone.” You say in disbelief.
“Come on,” she says grabbing your hand as she drags you down the street towards your place.
“Uh-” you utter in surprise. What is this girl on?
You walk for a couple minutes looking over at Ellie, she looks lost in thought as she unconsciously swings your hands.
“I’m grabbing breakfast extra early in the morning with Joel, he wants to give me woodworking lessons again.” She looks away, “He’s—he’s trying.”
“That’s good though…I don’t really know exactly what happened between the two of you, but I know he cares about you so much and from how you talked about him Ellie, I know you care about him just as strongly. I want you to be happy, and if this is how, then that’s good.”
She looks at you thoughtfully, then looks down. “Yeah.” A slight pause, “Thanks.”
“You’re going to do that before patrol?”
“Yeah.”
“’Kay. Do you wanna come over later? I was just going to help out in the stables for a bit after then kinda chill for the rest of the day.”
“Yeah, sure, that sounds good.” A smile back on her face. She turns to walk you up to your door, “See you tomorrow—or later I guess.”
“Goodnight, Ellie.” You smile softly at her, releasing your joined hands. You want to tell her just how much you’re going to remember tonight and how much you like her, but not yet. Not yet.
While you’re thinking, she leans in to brush a soft kiss on your forehead, catching you off guard. She doesn’t let it linger too long, but just long enough for you to still feel a tingle in her lips’ absence. “Night.” She whispers against your forehead. She turns and walks back down the road, just like that. Meanwhile, you’re watching her go in disbelief at how much happened in one night. This is going to change a lot.
#ellie williams#tlou#tlou2#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou#the last of us#tlou part 2#ellie needs therapy#ellie williams is my wife#soft ellie#ellie x reader#ellie x fem reader#loser!ellie#stargazing#nerd!ellie#ellie williams one shot#ellie tlou x reader#ellie tlou2 x reader#ellie williams drabble#ellie fluff#Jackson ellie#ellie x you#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams fic#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie x female reader#female reader#best friend!ellie#ellie miller
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Let’s Talk About the Ferris Wheel
This scene in the Ferris Wheel is incredibly intimate. We have Kazuki and Rei actually communicating with each other and discussing seriously about the current situation they are in. But, before that, let’s take a moment to talk about this sequence of events with Rei and Miri.
Miri asks Rei:
“Are Ferris wheels scary?” And Rei tells her no, that they aren’t.
Once they’re on the Ferris wheel, Rei asks Miri:
“It’s not scary?” And Miri replies that it’s not.
This is interesting dialogue, because for Kazuki and Rei, this Ferris wheel ride probably is quite scary, right. An adult fear: losing a child they’ve come to care for and have become attached to.
But, the narrative is telling us that: The Ferris wheel is NOT scary.
Hopefully, this means that we don’t have to be scared about the future plotlines, maybe shocked and surprised, but not scared.
Of course, we can also look at the projection of the Ferris wheel and the conversations and dialogue as being related to the plot structure of the series so far, and the mindset of the characters at those junctures.
Right, before they got on this ride of caring for Miri, the thought was rather scary, because they were both out of their depths. Then, we get a shot of the carriage they are in, and it rising up the Ferris wheel:
It’s after this that we have Miri responding to Rei that it isn’t scary. This is around the time the two decided to be her papas and started getting comfortable within their roles as being Miri’s papas. Around Episodes 3 - 6. Seeing them become more and more like a family with each passing episode was beautiful (still is).
As they’re getting closer to the very top of the Ferris Wheel, Kazuki brings up the cat. A difficult conversation, one that deals with attachment. In Episodes 7 - 8, that’s when we really see Kazuki and Rei’s decision to devote themselves to Miri and their family come into full force.
Their attachment with Miri really kicks in around Episodes 7 - 9, this is when they start thinking about placing Miri first, like Kazuki mentions here:
He talks about wanting her to eat Hamburg steak and smile forever. He’s placing her happiness first. That’s an extremely parental view. Kazuki is expressing the practical side of parenthood, while Rei’s expression here, the sound of upset he makes:
Highlights the emotional and painful side of making such a decision. Rei’s never felt emotional attachment like this before, never had to lose it either. Kazuki has, though it was unintentional and not the same as this situation.
The Ferris wheel is now shown to be at the top. The climax, episodes 9 and 10. Episode 9 was the climax of them becoming a family unit - Kazuki and Rei had worked through their individual demons and both picked returning home to their family. And in Episode 9, we see Miri acknowledging Kazuki and Rei as her family. That was the climax to the “family” side of the series.
Kazuki tells Miri, when they reach the “tippity-top” that: “That’s the best part!” And, it was! Episode 9 was so, so heartwarming.
But, this week’s episode, Episode 10, is in the falling action. The part where shit gets tough again. Just like it got tough for Kazuki and Rei in the rising action of Episodes 7 & 8, it’ll get tough for them again in Episodes 10 & 11, possibly 12, too. The difference being that this time they are facing it together, instead of separately.
Kazuki acknowledges that he’s gotten more than he thought he ever would thanks to Miri:
And Rei’s grown a lot emotionally because of Miri, experienced things he never thought he would. He’s become a much more functioning person since she’s come into his life:
For them, this seems and feels like the end of the ride. But, it’s not. The Ferris wheel is still in the falling action stage:
They haven’t gotten off the ride yet. And we don’t see them get off the ride (we just see them after it’s done). Kazuki says, “Time to wake up from the dream,” as they are going down. But waking up from a dream is different from a dream ending.
In the previous acts of the series, Kazuki and Rei were aware of the dangers their job and situation with Miri could place Miri in, but they weren’t facing the realities of their situation either.
Now the story is in the falling action, the characters are facing some harsh realities:
About their job.
About society.
About Miri’s birth mother.
Buddy Daddies is a series that wants to explore the themes of “a bloodless family” and “two people of the same sex raising a child,” and they are doing it in modern day Japan. Not in a fantasy world, not through metaphors, and with a foundation based in some level of reality.
This series is exploring tough themes that aren’t always easily accepted or easy to navigate in real life. These ideas can be challenging, and right now, our main characters are experiencing that.
Pushback.
Kyutaro with his hard truths about the messiness of Miri’s parental situation, of them killing her birth father, and the fact that these issues are going to eventually catch up to them.
Misaki reiterating that danger, and having the lawful advantage of being Miri’s blood, while Kazuki really takes in the reality that society, especially Japanese society, still centers motherhood when it comes to childcare.
But, like I stated, this is still just the falling action. It’s not the conclusion. There are three more episodes left.
There is still time for them and things to change. But, like Kyutaro stated back in Episode 5, it still remains to be seen if these changes that will come will be for the better or worst.
#Buddy Daddies#BD#Kazuki Kurusu#Rei Suwa#Miri Unasaka#Kyutaro Kugi#Misaki Unasaka#BD spoilers#Buddy Daddies spoilers#long post#image heavy post#meta post#analysis#story structure
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a mutually assured attachment
pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader
word count: 3.9k
summary: crossing the thin line between friendship and something more, but not before a few set backs.
warnings: set before tfatws, therapy positive, emotional hurt / comfort, mutual pinning, adult dialogue, use of pet names (sweets, darlin') mentions of food and alcohol consumption, a little bit of jealousy, friends to lovers, a conclusion to a lovely little slow burn
a/n: technically part of a mini-series, but can 100% be read as a standalone. also, unsure if anyone is still following this story, but i wanted to wrap it up ‘cause i really enjoyed starting this series all those months (years eek) ago. plus if anyone stumbles across it in the future, it will be complete! thank you for reading and for your support <3
SERIES MASTERLIST
Bucky Barnes did not think of himself as the jealous type.
Yes, he envied his fair share of individuals he encountered throughout his long life: the people who made life appear easy, those who seemed to have everything figured out, and everyone who took “mundane” for granted.
The regular Joe’s with their nine-to-five jobs, a random group of friends, and not a care past anything other than their stack of overdue bills or their fantasy football league (whatever the hell that was…). The average Jane’s who often reminded Bucky of his own mother, hoping to grow and nurture happy homes, full of sweetness and a load of laughter, desperately trying to shield everyone around them from pain and misery.
Envy, yes. Bucky was familiar with the feeling. Jealousy however… Well, jealousy was different.
Jealousy was usually a side effect of romance. It called for a connection stronger than Bucky allowed himself to form with the people he met ever since he became himself again. It involved trekking on dangerous territory and putting other people at risk, therefore no, James Buchanan Barnes was not the jealous type.
That is until he met you.
He’s learned to admit that you entered his life at a time he did not even realise he needed you most, turning it completely upside down (for the better) and providing him with a glimmer of hope that there was still good in this post-blip world.
He’s grown attached to you, opening up in more ways than one and sharing thoughts he hasn’t spoken about with anyone since Steve. Over time, you have easily grown to be his favourite person.
And now Bucky was sitting at the bar, picking at the label of the beer bottle in his grip while watching you toss your head back in laughter at something this random suit-wearing jerk was saying.
You disappeared for five minutes to go to the bathroom. Bucky thought nothing of it, even ordered you another drink while you were gone. But when you didn’t come back to your seat, stopping instead for a chat with a stranger, you unknowingly caused an unnerving feeling to rush through the brunette sergeant.
This wasn’t the first time someone tried hitting on you while you were out with Bucky, (and considering how jaw droppingly beautiful you were, he was actually quite surprised it didn’t happen more often). However, this was the first time you engaged back in the flirtatious interaction, which was more than unsettling to your blue-eyed neighbour.
He wanted nothing more than to wipe the smug smirk off of the dude's face. Quite frankly, the only thing stopping him from doing so was the reason he wished to do it in the first place: you.
Fuck, Bucky cursed himself, this was jealousy.
Shifting in his seat so he wouldn’t have to witness you with that dunce, Bucky brought the beer bottle to his lips and, in one sip, finished what was left of his drink. He then paid the tab and was about to stand when a hand gently squeezed his shoulder, grabbing his attention.
“Sorry about that,” you said and he forced a smile.
“No need, darlin’,” Bucky reassured, hoping the tone of his voice didn’t betray him, although, judging by the elated look on your face, he had nothing to worry about. Your thoughts were focused entirely on something… else.
“I was actually just about to leave,” he added and got to his feet. “Didn’t wanna disturb your conversation.”
You furrowed your brows. “What? No, don’t go,” you implored, sliding your hand from his shoulder down his leather covered arm until your fingers reached the hem of his jacket.
Bucky held his breath as you gripped the material, the softness of your skin just barely brushing against him.
“He gave me his number so I’ll call him later if I feel like it.”
“You stay,” he demanded, “I’ll go. There is something I gotta take care of anyway and I don’t wanna ruin your evening.”
Pursing your lips together, you eyed him suspiciously, scanning every inch of his face for any tale of dishonesty. See, during the time the two of you have spent in each other's company, you have gotten quite good at reading your brooding neighbour, despite his closed off demeanour. Which is how you could clearly see there was something bothering him.
However, you have also come to learn when to stop pushing him and give him space.
“Okay.”
“Okay,” Bucky repeated and shooting you one last congenial smile, he walked towards the exit.
You watched him leave, his figure disappearing in the shadows of the rainy New York night. Inhaling a quick breath, you returned to the guy you were chatting with just moments prior, and four drinks later, you stopped thinking about Bucky.
Albeit just for the night.
The next morning you wound up at his door, as usual. When he didn’t immediately answer, you retreated back into your own apartment without giving it a second thought because it was definitely like Bucky to ignore you from time to time.
That afternoon you knocked on his door again, and you repeated the action after returning from work over the next four days — still no Bucky. And because he was also not answering his phone when you called or replied to any of your texts, the worry suddenly spread through your veins making you nauseous.
Feeling conflicted about what to do next (since it wasn’t like you knew anyone else in his life you could reach out to) you decided to distract yourself any way you knew how, hoping one day the grumpy brunette would simply show up at your door as if nothing happened.
Unfortunately for you, keeping your mind from wandering about your blue-eyed neighbour proved harder than you wanted it to be and it wasn’t until a few weeks after you last saw Bucky, the perfect distraction finally made an appearance.
You often debated adopting a pet but your landlord didn’t allow any animals which seemed like reason enough. Now, you were standing face to face with what was perhaps the most beautiful cat you had ever seen, and as you cautiously approached it, the white feline inclined towards you, allowing you to gently run your fingers through its fur and eventually pick it up.
While carrying the cat to your apartment, you researched vet clinics in the area and promptly made an appointment for that same afternoon. Turns out your new furry friend was a she and the epitome of health, making you think there was someone out there missing her immensely.
While at work, you printed out flyers with a picture you took of her and your phone number at the bottom, before dropping them around town during lunch.
For about a week, you waited. Waited for your cell to buzz but no one ever called.
“Alone together, huh…” you murmured, gently running your fingers through her soft fur, “Guess I should give you a name then. Can’t keep calling you cat, you deserve better, don’t you think?”
She purred in response, as if she understood every word you just said, and you couldn’t help but smile.
The next couple of days were spent brainstorming potential names although nothing you came up with seemed to stick because either you didn’t entirely like it or she didn’t respond to it — mostly the latter.
“You’re so stubborn,” you tittered, watching her lick her paw, “I should call you ‘Bucky’.” The name escaped your lips and you immediately froze, your mood dampening.
That night you didn’t sleep. Tossing and turning all night, thinking about the blue-eyed man for the first time since the cat has entered your life.
Stirring sugar into your coffee the following morning, Bucky still occupied your thoughts.
There was something about him you couldn’t quite shake. Despite the majority of the people in your life being there longer than your super soldier neighbour, the connection you two shared, well you couldn’t really explain it. Bucky just made you feel… different.
Frankly, you hated yourself for becoming so codependent on another human. Sure you had a good group of friends and even enjoyed the company of a couple of your colleagues, but no one meant as much to you as James Barnes.
The cat snuggled into your leg, purring softly. You tilted your head down to look at her, her blue eyes reminiscent of Bucky’s, and a defeated sigh escaped your lips.
“Don’t look at me like that,” you whispered and she blinked. For a moment you wondered if she sensed the growing sadness in your heart. You remember reading how pets can detect human emotion, which is why they provide so much comfort, but you had a hard time believing it, until now.
The corner of your mouth twitched upwards, shifting your expression into a half-smile. You were about to say something when a distinct jingle of keys drew your attention.
It couldn’t be, you thought and hastily dropped the teaspoon into the sink before heading for your front door.
At first you were almost certain you were seeing a ghost, pale and dishevelled. Then, for a brief second, you didn’t really know who you were looking at. An intruder or someone new moving in perhaps? (A lot of possibilities although you only wanted one to be true.)
It wasn’t until the person turned around, eyes meeting yours instantly, you realised it really was him.
Bucky was back. Unexpectedly. The exact same way he disappeared.
“Hey,” he greeted sheepishly.
Your first instinct was to get angry, but the longer you stared at him, heart thumping, the more you knew that wasn’t the rational thing to do. Anger wouldn’t solve anything, it wouldn’t answer any questions. And you had a lot of questions.
The next thought that ran through your mind was to throw your arms around his neck and nuzzle yourself into his embrace because you missed him goddamnit.
“I-I…”
While you debated exactly how to react and what to say to him, your furry friend squeezed between your legs. The quiet meows grabbed your attention momentarily along with the attention of the brunette man.
With a shaky hand, you lifted the cat up before meeting Bucky’s gaze once again.
“I-I got a pet,” you blurted out, immediately regretting it because what a lame thing to say to someone you genuinely thought you would never see again.
He cleared his throat and responded, “I can see that.” Pause. “What’s um, what’s his name?”
“Her name,” you corrected, “And to be honest she still doesn’t really have one. I’ve just been calling her random things to see what would suit.”
Biting on the inside of his cheek, Bucky fought back a smirk.
“That’s definitely unique,” he commented.
“Don’t tease me, James.”
Just as the two of you returned to your usual banter, silence surrounded once again when his name escaped your lips. An apologetic look spread across Bucky’s features and he took a step in your direction.
“I’m sorry.”
Bucky decided quite early on into his friendship with you that he would do anything to keep you out of harm's way. When his feelings towards you transformed from general fondness into something much stronger, he decided the best way to keep the promise he made to himself would be to distance himself, (at least until said feelings faded).
He never planned on leaving. He simply wanted to make himself unavailable some evenings or weekends, come up with lame excuses as to why he couldn’t hang out. But the night Bucky left you at the bar, returning to his sad apartment alone, he switched on the TV. Suddenly, he needed to visit Sam. He figured you would understand. He never planned being away for so long. He never planned on leaving you behind without so much as an “I’ll be back”.
Looking at you now however, bottom lip quivering and tears in your eyes, he fucked up. He should have at least answered your calls and texts.
You sniffled. The cat, which was now half-resting on your shoulder, alerted immediately to the gentle sound of your undeniable sadness and rubbed its paw against your face.
“Uhm…” you cleared your throat, “I-I should go feed her.”
Bucky chewed on the inside of his cheek and nodded. He didn’t want you to leave yet, there was so much he had to say, a lot to explain.
“Right, of course,” he uttered almost sheepishly, “Maybe later if you have some time we can—”
“Maybe,” you cut him off and did a u-turn back into your apartment, “Welcome back, James.”
-
The next couple of weeks passed uneventfully.
And no, you weren’t avoiding Bucky. Not entirely. It just so happened that every time you had to leave, you did so via the fire escape as opposed to your front door, and every time you heard him out in the hallway, you switched everything off and held your breath, pretending you weren’t home.
You rationalised your behaviour as necessary. It wasn’t avoidance. It was… self preservation. He hurt your feelings when he left. You couldn’t just let him waltz back into your life as if nothing happened, opening yourself up for pain yet again.
Bucky was understanding of your unspoken request to be left the fuck alone. He knew he screwed up but he wasn’t sure how to make things better. All he wanted was to see you smile, and be the reason for it. How could the two of you get to that point when the couple of times you bumped into one another it was awkward?
Was it going to be like this forever?
Luckily, you had your cat to keep you distracted.
Despite not being named yet, she brightened your mornings and had a calming effect in the evenings. She sat at your feet while you were baking and purred into your chest when you were taking a nap. She followed you around the apartment like a trusted companion, even sitting on the bathroom floor while you showered.
So it was strange when one morning she wasn’t in your bed and it was even stranger when you didn’t hear her tapper around the apartment while you were getting ready. A feeling of dread settled in the pit of your stomach when you called her for breakfast by the various names you’ve so far come up with — no response.
By the time you had searched around your whole apartment, you were already late for work. At that point you were thinking you couldn’t go in anyway, your fucking cat was missing. One quick “I think I have food poisoning.” call later, you unlock your laptop in search for the flyers you made when you found her. Tears formed in your eyes while adjusting the title from ‘IS THIS YOUR CAT?’ to ‘HAVE YOU SEEN MY CAT?.
That’s when you knew you couldn’t do this alone.
A short two minutes later, your knuckles are pressed against the wooden door of your neighbours apartment. One, two, three gentle knocks later, and Bucky is standing in front of you.
“I need your help,” is all you managed to blurt out. It’s all you needed to say, really. Bucky doesn’t need any further explanation when it comes to you. He grabbed his jacket and followed you without question.
When you showed him the poster on your laptop screen, he reassured you in a calm tone. One that almost makes you believe him. One that almost makes you forget that he’s left you all alone, without a word. Almost.
“When did you last see her?” Bucky asked.
When you shrugged your shoulders in a defeated manner, he sighed softly and without really thinking about where your friendship currently stood, wrapped his strong arms around you. The second his frame closed around yours, you burst into tears, face pressed against his chest as he held you close, consoling you.
The world seems to come to a stand still at that moment.
You’re not sure how long the two of you stood there. Seconds, minutes. He did, however, manage to calm you down, bringing the waterfall to barely a trickle as you sniffled against his t-shirt.
When Bucky eventually dropped his arms, you avoided his gaze. Scared to admit out loud how good that felt and how glad you were he was here for you, since he’s hurt you once when you became too attached, and you weren’t going to let him do it again.
“How about you stay here, in case she comes back, and I’ll go search for her outside?” Bucky suggested, dipping his head to try and meet your teary eyes. His hand is on your shoulder, barely holding on as if he was afraid you would suddenly flinch and pull away — which he most definitely was.
All you did was nod, and as he headed out the door, a quiet “thank you” escaped your lips.
“Anything for you, darlin’.” Is what you think you heard, but the tone of Bucky’s voice is so quiet, you rationalised that you heard wrong.
The day was spent wandering aimlessly around your apartment, checking your phone every two minutes to see if Bucky had had any updates on the whereabouts of your little pet. He had not.
By the time the sky turned dusky dark, you had lost all hope. She’d never be found. It was as if the universe only meant for you to be together while Bucky was away. You couldn’t have both. That would be too good, too lucky.
But just as you were about to start crying again, a glass of cheap wine in hand, the doorknob rattled and seconds later, in walked Bucky, holding your precious feline friend in his metal arm.
“Oh my god,” you exhaled as relief took over your entire body.
You ambled forward, reaching for the cat in Bucky’s grasp as she meowed uncontrollably, seemingly happy to see you. And Bucky smiled as he watched you snuggle into the white creature, heartbeat growing tenfold with every tick of the clock.
“She uh,” he began as you moved across your apartment, settling down on the couch, “She’s quite the climber, that one. After a day of searching half of Brooklyn, I eventually found her on the rooftop of this very building.”
“Thank you,” you said without averting your gaze from your furry white friend.
What he wanted to say is, “Just glad I could be here for you,” but what he uttered instead was, “Don’t mention it, darlin’.”
For a moment, Bucky hovered in your entryway, unsure whether you wanted him to leave now or if he could stay, just like he did many times before. He decided to not push it. Decided it’s best for the longevity of your friendship to not force anything with you, especially since the strong feelings he had for you before he left have only increased in the time apart — complete opposite of what he wanted to happen.
So he turned on his heel, but just as he was about to say goodnight, you turned your attention to where he stood and waved him over.
“Stay,” you requested, “The least I can do as a thank you is order us some takeout.”
“You don’t have to do that, darlin’.”
“I want to,” you said honestly, hoping he can detect your sincerity, “Stay, please. I-I let you walk away once before and ended up not seeing you for months.”
He swallowed, but didn’t say anything.
“Please stay. I want you to stay, James.”
-
The morning light trickled in through your half-opened curtains, causing your eyes to open slightly and take in your usual surroundings. Except these weren’t entirely your usual surroundings. There was one thing different this Saturday morning as compared to others.
Bucky was still asleep, covered loosely by one of your many blankets. His chest heaved softly, quiet breathes escaping through his parted lips. He looked so peaceful sleeping in your bed, sleeping next to you, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight before you.
You shifted to your side and slowly trailed your gaze along his pretty perfect features, focusing on the details you’ve honestly never noticed before. The scruff perfectly angling his jawline, the little crinkles in the corner of his eyes showcasing how he’s aged over the years, barely noticeable but still present.
Then the cat made an appearance, jumping on the bed, settling between you and the super soldier. Before you got a chance to shush it, not wanting to wake Bucky up, she purred against his shoulder.
A smile crept up on his features at the contact. Seconds later, he opened his eyes before slowly tilting his head to first look at the pet, then at you.
“Good mornin’.”
“Hey.”
There’s a moment of silence during which you two simply stare at one another. Time seemed to have come to a standstill. The blue of his eyes piercing, searching your gaze for what, neither of you were really sure. All you both knew was the longer you remained this way, the more your hearts swelled.
Bucky was suddenly feeling nervous, as were you.
“Thank you for staying,” you eventually whispered.
“Thank you for asking me to stay,” he replied.
Another second of silence.
There was so much Bucky wanted to tell you, but the words were stuck in his throat because how can someone go from avoiding, leaving without a word, to admitting that they cannot live without the other person. And that’s exactly how he was feeling. He’s come to terms with it now. He couldn’t live without you.
Would you even feel the same? He wouldn’t expect you to. In fact, he would think you’d want to remain a little distant given everything that’s happened. But then again, if that’s how you felt, then why would you ask him to stay?
Maybe you just needed the extra push, same as him.
“Think you should name her Alpine,” Bucky suggested, one hand rubbing the cat that was now sitting on his chest, while the other reached for your fingers. Slow, but not hesitant.
“Alpine,” you tested the name on your lips. “I like that.”
You take his hand then, intertwining your fingers together without commenting on the fact. He squeezed gently, testing the waters further, and you squeezed back — again, both of you choosing not to say anything about the physical interaction.
“Did you have any plans for today?” Bucky asked and you shook your head. “So, would you eh, would you wanna go somewhere?”
The smile on your lips widened.
“We do have a lot of catching up to do, neighbour.” A modest tease. One you hope won’t ruin the moment, or the day ahead.
He just chuckled, mimicking your expression and making any worries disappear just as fast as they threatened to break through.
“That we do, darlin’.” Pause. “I’m sorry for messing it all up. I promise to make it up to you, starting today.”
Taking his apology in, you let go of his hand, instantly missing his touch. Bucky was too, but he didn't get to completely register just how much because you shuffled closer to where he lay, closing the gap between you.
One arm extended towards his chest, resting gently as your fingers brushed a now sleeping Alpine, and also grazed against Bucky’s own in the process. The thudding of your heart inside your chest was most likely loud enough for him to hear — it was. He focused on it, the beating, and it calmed him entirely.
Your aura calmed him. It has since day one and he hoped it would until the end of his days on this Earth.
Yes, Bucky was more than attached to you.
Luckily, the feeling was mutual.
Sealed with a soft kiss.
as always, thank you so so much for reading, and please reblog to tell me what you think! <3
main masterlist
#phew— this was a LONG time coming jesus#happy reading <3#a mutually assured attachment#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x fem!reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#neighbor!bucky#neighbor!bucky barnes x reader
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Chris Motionless x Reader
Shades of Purple
Part 1: Plum
Warnings: Angst, Mentions of death/suicide, angst, mention of Ronnie Radke, fluff.
A/N: First chapter of a new series! Enjoy my loves 💜
Tag List: @skulliecadaver-blog @witchyweeb34 @cookiesupplier @raydenrrobertson @sakuracyberhex @beaker1636 @lyschko666 @black-damask1999 @synthetic-wasp-570 @jilliemiw86
Prologue: https://www.tumblr.com/talialovesmiw/740513916349808640/shades-of-purple-prologue
Part 2 https://www.tumblr.com/talialovesmiw/741516781730086912/shades-of-purple
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Y/N’s POV
January 1st.
The worst day of the fucking year.
I’ve always dreaded the new year.
At the start of every new year, an auction was held. What does the auction entail? A trade. Humans would auction off one and other to vampires in the promise of safety and money.
Why would humans do such a thing for safety? Simply due to the fact that in this world, vampires were the most powerful beings, and most hunted down humans.
Most humans would auction off young adults. According to studies, their blood was the most desirable to vampires. I’ve even heard stories of those who would trade in their small children. The younger the blood, the better the taste.
Unfortunately, being 23, I fit into that category.
When I was 7 years old, my mother was in a serious car accident, and she lost her life. My father couldn’t handle her death and hung himself in the garage just 3 days after. My grandparents didn’t have room for me, so I was sent off to foster care.
I was in and out of homes, people were never looking for anything permanent. It was hard. Every single time I had thought someone finally loved me enough to adopt me, they would turn away and return me back to foster care. It was heartbreaking.
At 16, that’s when I’d meet the two most greedy and mean individuals. Todd and Elizabeth.
As soon as they saw me, they adopted me. Not because they liked me and thought they could provide a loving home for me, oh no. According to them, I had the perfect look for auctions, and that I’d make them a lot of money through a trade.
That day, they took me and two other girls, Aurora and Estella, back to their home. We weren’t the only girls there. Todd and Elizabeth had been adopting teenage girls for years now. They were preparing them for auctions…
For the past 7 years, they put us on special diets to ensure our blood could be at its purest.
“Pure blood and beauty will ensure you’ll make a perfect prize darlings!” Elizabeth would tell us, making sure that our looks would remain “perfect”.
Once they had decided a girl was ready, they would take that girl to the annual auction, only for her to never be seen again.
This was how they got by, how they made their money and kept their status. It was sickening. It was twisted. It was cruel.
It was a shame. I had grown close with some of those girls, and it was heartbreaking seeing them meet their fate on January 1st. The girls were always so scared, and by the time that fateful day would come, all their life was drained from them. They seemed to be a shell of what they once were.
I remember one night before the auctions, a girl named Morgan had tried to escape the house. She was going to be traded off the next day, and she had grown sick of Todd and Elizabeth. The poor girl just wanted freedom. When Todd found her in the early morning hours, he had beaten her violently. She had bruises all over her body and yet, they still made her go to the auctions. One of the maids had put makeup over her bruises to hide them, and Morgan looked the same after that. You couldn’t even tell she was injured…
I was close with Aurora and Estella as well, we had grown up together in the foster care system. We went through a lot together. We shared secrets and gossiped about the homes we’ve been in. Whenever one of us was in trouble, we had each other’s backs. We were best friends. And we were all going to be auctioned off on the same day. It was terrifying.
“At least we’ll be together, right?” Estella asked in a hopeful tone, her long black locks falling over the side of her face as she hugged her knees to her chest. Estella had always tried to be optimistic about everything, she always kept her head up. She had beautiful light brown skin and chestnut eyes, they sparkled every time she smiled.
“I hope so. I wouldn’t want to go alone..’ Aurora said softly, brushing through her shoulder length ginger curls. She was more shy and soft spoken. She kept to herself around Todd and Elizabeth, she was afraid of getting yelled at by them. She had a love for animals and always seemed to have a connection with any animal she came across.
“Y/N, you’ve been awfully quiet. Are you alright?” Estella asked, turning her head to look at me.
I had been sitting on my bunk, staring at the wall, lost in thought. My mind was so consumed with what could happen at the auctions tomorrow. I was afraid. Tomorrow, my freedom would be completely stripped from me by evil individuals that wanted to use me. That included vampires.
“Sorry girls, I just have a lot on my mind right now..” I said, looking out the window, watching the rain pour down.
“It’s about the auction, isn’t it?” Aurora asked, sitting down next to me on my bunk.
“Of course it is Rory, I can’t stop thinking about it..” I said, looking down. “Our freedom is going to be gone tomorrow because these two assholes we call parents are greedy. They already have protection, now they just want money. They’re selfish, and they don’t give a fuck if our lives are at risk.” My tone was bitter and full of hate. I could feel angry tears prick the corners of my eyes. “Nobody deserves to be in this situation, yet we’re all stuck.”
“Maybe…we’ll end up with nice vampires? Maybe they won’t treat us poorly?” Estella said, trying to be positive. As much as I appreciated the optimism, it wasn’t helping.
“They’re vampires, Stella. They aren’t going to be nice. They only want one thing out of us, and that’s our blood. Nothing more, nothing less.” I said, my words coming out a little harsh. “Sorry…that came out a little harsh, but…it’s the truth.”
“No, you’re right Y/N…but at least none of us will have to go alone. At least we’ll be able to say goodbye to each other, right?”
“I don’t want to have to say goodbye to you girls, you’re my best friends!” Aurora whimpered, tears coming from her hazel eyes and down her freckled cheeks.
“This is a shitty situation we’re in, but hey, we’ll always love each other, right?” I asked, leaning forward. They both nodded. “At least we’ll know we have someone who cares, even when we’re at our lowest. We’ll always love each other no matter what!” I said, giving them sad smiles.
“Oh, she’s right, c’mere girls, group hug!” Estella said, pulling Aurora and I into a bone crushing hug. Estella had always given the best hugs.
I was going to miss these two so much..
…………………………………………………………
“Oh, you’re going to look absolutely gorgeous Y/N dear!” Cheryl, one of the maids, said in a cheerful tone as she did my hair.
Cheryl was my favorite of the maids. She was an older woman who had always shown me and other girls kindness. She gave good advice and took better care of us than Elizabeth and Todd ever could.
She put one more hair pin in my updo and turned the chair I was sitting in to look at the mirror of the vanity. “There we go, all finished. You look beautiful my dear.”
I gave Cheryl a small smile, “Thank you Cheryl. You did a wonderful job.”
“Of course dear! Let me go grab your dress.” She said with a smile, heading to the closet. She came back a few moments later, and handed me the dress. “Here you are. I’ll let you change.” She said, leaving the room to let me get dressed.
My eyes went to look at the dress. It was a beautiful purple evening gown. I had always liked the color purple, all shades of it. It always seemed to make me look good.
I slipped on the dress and looked at the mirror. My eyes widened when I saw my reflection. The dress was floor length and hugged my body in all the right places. There was a slit that went up to my mid-thigh. The plum shade of the gown looked stunning against my skin tone. I looked beautiful.
It was such a bittersweet moment. I looked good for all the wrong reasons. I was supposed to look good so that way I’d appeal to my future predator. I crossed my arms over my chest and sighed, looking down.
“Something the matter dear?” Cheryl’s voice came as she stepped back into the room. I looked over to see a look of concern on her face. “If you’re concerned about your looks, you look beautiful.”
I shook my head, closing my eyes. “It’s not that. I just hate today. I’m afraid of the events to come.” I admitted.
Cheryl approached me and put her hand on my forearm, “I know dear, the situation isn’t pleasant, but you must stay strong. Keep your head up.”
“I know, I’m trying…I’m scared, that’s all..”
“It’ll be alright dear, everything will work out in the end, I promise.” Cheryl reassured me, offering a gentle smile.
“I’ll miss you Cheryl. You were always my favorite maid here. You’ve been nothing but kind.” I said with a sad smile, trying not to tear up.
“Now now, don’t cry dearie. You’ll ruin your makeup. I’m not worth the tears.” She said, pointing her finger.
“Right, sorry.” I said, chuckling a little.
Cheryl smiled at me, shaking her head. “Come now, your parents are waiting.” She said, taking my hand.
Parents…
They didn’t deserve that title whatsoever.
Cheryl walked me into the living room for Todd and Elizabeth to be standing, waiting for me with the two girls I had called sisters. Estella and Aurora were wearing the same type gowns I had on, only Estella was in gold and Aurora in an emerald green.
“She looks perfect, Cheryl.” Todd said, Elizabeth nodding in agreement.
“Thank you, sir. I’ll be going now.” Cheryl said, turning to leave.
“Goodbye Cheryl..” I whispered, feeling the sadness take over. Cheryl gave me a sympathetic look before leaving the room.
“Let’s be going now, Y/N.” Todd said, dragging me along.
…………………………………………………………
Third person POV
He had arrived in his black BMW, pulling up to the valet. This was the first time he’d make an appearance at this event.
“Hello, and welcome to-“ The valet driver cut himself off when he saw who was in the car.
Christopher Cerulli.
The vampire who had never once appeared at this event.
He was reclusive, almost like a shadow. He had never cared for these types of events, or anything public really. He had always hid away, living silently in his estate. Nobody knew much about him, except for the fact he was rather wealthy thanks to family. He always seemed to be off the radar.
“Good evening, this is where I go for valet parking, I assume?” Chris asked, looking at the driver, his expression calm.
“Yes sir! Allow me!” The driver said rather nervously, allowing Chris to step out of his car. Chris handed him the keys, giving him a quick ‘thank you’ before walking up to the entrance.
“Strange, he was rather nervous. How odd.” Chris noted to himself, walking inside the building. He walked down the hallways, ignoring the stares others his presence brought and entered the main room.
Chris leaned against a wall, observing the activity in the room. Everyone was occupied with conversation of the bidding that was soon to come.
He wasn’t there for bidding on prey however. For what, though? He wouldn’t tell a soul. He knew he wouldn’t be taken seriously if he were to truly reveal that secret.
“Well well, look what the cat dragged in,” A voice spoke from Christopher’s left. He turned his head and a pit of disgust formed in his stomach.
“Radke. Good evening. Do you need something from me?” Chris asked, trying to remain polite.
Ronnie Radke. A vampire who was quite the opposite of Chris. Confrontational and cocky. He was rather full of himself too. He was one who enjoyed these auctions, always after new food.
“Yes, you can. Enlighten me. What the hell are you doing here?” Radke’s tone coming off rather nasty.
Chris scoffed, scanning his nails and not making eye contact with the other. “This is a universal event, no? All vampires are welcome to attend.”
“No one expected Mr. Gloom and Doom shadow boy to show, that’s all. Now, answer me. What business do you have here?” Ronnie said in an almost spiteful tone.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Chris said casually. That seemed to annoy Ronnie.
Christopher knew better than to indulge Ronnie in his business. He had always been one to put his nose where it didn’t belong.
“Lighten up, will you? I was only joking with you!”
“Who said I was offended?” Christopher’s tone was cool as he glanced over to see a fuming Ronnie.
“Have some wine, it’ll put you at ease.” Ronnie offered a glass of red wine. Perhaps if Chris drank, he’d spill the beans. Yeah, that was a good plan to Ronnie!
“No thank you. I don’t drink.” Chris said, shaking his head. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find my number.” Chris had turned away, and left to get his number, leaving Ronnie dumbfounded.
“Fucking weirdo..” Ronnie spat bitterly under his breath.
…………………………………………………………
Y/N’s POV
Todd and Elizabeth had dropped us off at the entrance, leaving to go chat with other guests. They said to make sure we were in the holding room by 9:30 pm.
The only thing is…they didn’t tell us where exactly this holding room was..
The girls and I decided to split up and look for the room, it would take less time that way. At least…it seemed that way at first.
The building was huge! It felt like I was walking for ages with all the different rooms and hallways. There were so many people there. It almost made me feel claustrophobic.
It didn’t help that I could feel people staring at me. It was such an uncomfortable feeling. Their gazes were strong, some were even licking their lips. I knew who they were, and they knew who I was. The tension could be cut with a knife.
And now, I was lost.
Shit.
I looked at my watch to see the time.
9:21
Oh no…
I started running, hoping that whatever room I’d see would be the holding room.
I was running so quickly that I bumped into somebody. He turned quickly and grabbed my wrists, steadying me.
“Careful now, baby. Don’t want to get hurt now, do you?” He spoke.
Baby? What the fuck…
Whoever this was, he was already making my skin crawl.
“I-I’m so sorry!” I stuttered, feeling heat rush to my face from embarrassment. “I-I was just looking for the holding room..”
He raised a brow, “The holding room? That’s just a few doors down from here on the right.”
I let out a sigh of relief. I was close, thank god. “Okay, what a relief. Thank you!” I said, trying to release my wrists from his grip so I could leave. He wouldn’t let go.
“And where are you off to in such a rush? You’re not going to thank me properly? How rude..” He said, sounding offended.
“L-listen, I have to be in that room in a few minutes, I said thank you, so please let me go.” I pleaded, still trying to free myself. His grip only seemed to tighten.
“You really should be thanking me, you know. I saved you from falling AND told you where to go. You’re lucky I didn’t humiliate you for almost knocking over a vampire..”
Fuck, he was a vampire. I was screwed. I could feel myself shaking a bit. He seemed to enjoy my fear.
“You have a few minutes anyway, that’s plenty of time to repay me.” He lowered his head, his face getting closer to my neck.
“No, stop! Let me go!” I shouted, moving around and squirming as much as possible to try and break free. He was too strong.
His head was now below my own. His nose brushed against the skin of my neck, taking in my scent. I could feel his smirk against my neck. “Don’t fight it, sweetheart. This is what you humans were made for anyway. Now why don’t you be a good girl for me and-“
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but all vampires are prohibited from drinking human blood before the auctions, Radke.” A voice interrupted from behind.
A taller man stood behind us, crossing his arms. His hair was ink black and his skin was pale. His dark brown eyes scanned the other man as he held a calm yet smug look on his face. He was rather attractive..
“I’m in the middle of something, shadow boy. Do you mind?” The other sneered, glaring daggers.
“Huh, breaking the rules. Sounds like something you enjoy doing. However, I figured you’d know better than that considering you’ve attended more of these auctions than I have.” The taller one retorted. My attacker scoffed and let go of me.
“Tch. Making me miss out on a good meal..” He grumbled, storming away and leaving me alone with the black haired stranger.
“Are you alright?” He asked, approaching me as I rubbed my wrists.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little shocked. Thank you.” I said, smiling shyly.
“No worries. Radke has always been a pain in the ass to everyone.” He said, rolling his eyes.
“It’s a good thing you came when you did…I thought for sure he was going to kill me or something..” I said with a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of my neck.
“I wasn’t going to let that creep hurt such a pretty little thing such as yourself. You were only trying to get by. I swear, that man is always looking for trouble.” I blushed at his words, he was quite charming.“You were in quite a rush a few moments ago. Heading anywhere important?” He asked.
“I was heading towards the holding room…my parents are expecting me to be there at 9:30.”
“I see. Well, I’m sorry you were treated in such a way by that fool.” He said, shaking his head as if he were disgusted by the other man’s actions.
“No, don’t apologize. It wasn’t your fault. I’m grateful you interrupted him.” I said, giving him a smile. He gave me a small smile in return, and I felt butterflies. He had such a pretty smile..
“You’re a kind girl.” He said before glancing at his watch. “I won’t hold you any longer as we both have places to be.”
Oh crap, I had forgotten to check the time!
9:26…
Uh-oh.
“Crap! I’m going to be late!” I said, panicking. “Thank you again for your help! It was lovely to meet you! Goodbye!” I said quickly, turning to walk away.
“Be safe, little dove.” He said softly.
Little dove…
I liked that.
“I will, thank you again!”
“Oh, one more thing..” The man said, catching my attention. I stopped in my tracks to look at him. “That’s a lovely shade of purple on you, darling.”
#motionless in white#miw#miw band#motionless in white x reader#x reader#fluff#miw fanfic#fanfiction#chris motionless#motionless in white fanfiction#chris cerulli x reader#chris motionless x reader#chris motionless fanfic#christopher cerulli#chris cerulli#Chris motionless fanfiction#vampire au#vampire#ronnie radke#angst
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FIRST (F!Tav x Rolan)
A/N:: So I decided the Tieflings of this game don't get enough love so here you have pure, unadulterated PWP.
(And if you wish to be tagged for updates, please comment below!)
WORD COUNT: 13,913
RATINGS: E
WARNINGS: Adult language, Crude Humor, Explicit Sexual Content
PAIRINGS: Rolan x F!Tav
SPECIAL TAGS: @themeghanlodon @mushi42
READ ON AO3
SUMMARY: It's been three years since the Great Mindflayer Invasion in Baldur's Gate and though the companions have all gone their separate ways, Tav remains in the Gate working as a traveling alchemist who studies magical plants and their uses for potions all while getting closer to a certain grumpy Archwizard. When a normal night at Elfsong becomes heated, Tav and Rolan become closer than they thought.
Elfsong Tavern is in full bloom as dusk turns to twilight and the patrons of Baldur’s Gate fill the hall with their grand stories of adventures both inside beyond the gate. A bard strums his lute and plays for patrons, his song among the chaotic din of clattering plates, tinking glasses, and the laughter and merriment from many an adventurer. Off in a far corner seated in an alcove upon a plush set of chairs Rolan and you are seated. It’s been 3 years since the fall of the Netherbrain and the reconstruction of Baldur’s Gate back to its former glory. After your companions had departed to the next steps of their own journey and you decided to remain in the Gate and settle into a life as an alchemist and apothecary with the knowledge gained from many of your travels. Tonight was like any other end to a tenday for both you and Rolan as you had often been contracted by him to bring him ingredients for spells and research and tonight you had suggested the two of you indulge in an evening away from work after a week filled with absolute mayhem within Sorcerous Sundries.
Rolan seems to be distracted as you tap your tankard to his, hoping to get his attention. “Oh forgive me, I got distracted. What were you saying again?” his voice is alert and attended to your presence finally. You smirk at him and tease, “you were just about to compliment my fantastic self on how incredible I am for all the merchandise I was able to deliver on such short notice.” You got up from your seat momentarily to do a small twirl and pose as a mighty hero before sitting back into your chair.
Rolan chuckles at your antics. He’s grown over the years to be a tad soft though most people see the Archmage of Ramazith Tower as quite stoic and grumpy at times, though if anyone knew the truth, they most likely would never believe it. He smiles at you setting his drink down before leaning in on his hand. "I was indeed. I simply can't help myself when confronted with such beauty and grandeur as yourself," he replies.
You know he’s playfully teasing you as he always seems to. “But aren't I? I am grand and wonderful and you are blessed to know such a magnificent woman as me.” Your words are light and you gesticulate how incredible you are with a twirl and sway of your tankard before taking a deep swig. Rolan can’t help but laugh at your now most likely inebriated antics. "Yes... Yes, you are indeed grand and wonderful. I do feel quite blessed to be in your presence, oh great one..." he says with a sly smile.
Your gaze meets his and there’s a palpable energy between the two of you and you know the alcohol is taking effect as your banter begins to get more flirtatious between shy glances. “Hmm and because I am so grand, I feel like I should give you a reward.” Your voice is like honey to him and he sees you lean in close to him from across the small round table. The alcohol is definitely taking effect as Rolan doesn't seem to be aware of the intimate situation he has found himself in "And what sort of reward would that be, oh great and wondrous one? You have my complete attention," he asks, leaning in slightly with a flirtatious glance and another sly smile.
An eyebrow lifts and you walk your fingers up one of his arms before bringing a hand to his chest as you lean close to his ear. “What kind would you like?”
Rolan shivers at the touch, biting his lip as his eyes look up at you in surprise. Your touch is foreign to him outside of the occasional brush of hands but it stirs something within him, a false sense of bravado to which spurs more banter. "I wouldn't want to presume," he says softly. "I am but a humble creature in comparison to your greatness. But for you, I am at your mercy. Any sort of reward would be a pleasure."
You smirk and slot yourself between his legs as he sits on the stool and towers over you and he blushes deeply, breathing rapidly as he finds himself in a new and unexpected position.
"And... And what do you plan to do here? Oh wonderful one?" He glances around the room, noticing only a few other patrons who take notice of the sight unfurling in a corner of the room but then quickly look away and resume their own conversations.
You bring yourself close to his lips to where you can almost taste the alcohol in his small, unsteady breaths. “Perhaps a kiss would suffice?” you say without a hint of hesitation, your eyes looking between his and his slightly parted lips.
He swallows hard, eyes glancing between your lips and eyes, and leans in closer. "Perhaps... But I could not possibly..." He takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. The alcohol is clouding his judgement and his body feels suddenly warm as he leans forward even further, his lips just millimeters from yours. You can feel his breath on your lips as he hesitates. The air and din around you still.
You feel his hesitance, his reluctance and push it from your mind, closing the gap between your mouths to place a small, soft, gentle kiss on his lips before parting. The kiss is short but sweet, leaving an instant impact on Rolan's brain, muddling any thoughts he had in that moment. His lips begin to feel warm and his heart starts beating wildly, his breath coming in sharp, quick gasps. He glances up at you with wide eyes, his lips still parted slightly from the kiss. Awe.
You smile at him I think that is a perfect reward to bestow.
Rolan seems overwhelmed by the feeling the kiss left behind. His breath still coming in quick gasps, as he can't seem to control it. The warmth in his lips is still present, and his eyes are wide and shining "That was... amazing," he finally says softly, his words barely perceptible to your ears through the din of the tavern.
You glance down shyly and look back up to him. “We could....do it again.”
He’s looking at you with a longing gaze, biting his lip softly as he nods "Yes... Yes, I think we should. Just... Just once more." He looks around again, ensuring no one else is looking before pushing the small table between you slightly forward, inching ever so slightly closer, his warmth radiating into your vicinity. He meets your lips this time and again the kiss is soft and sweet before he parts with you. Your gaze is half-lidded and wandering to his. It stirs a beating in your heart, sending it racing inside your chest.
The second kiss is every bit as good as the first, leaving Rolan wanting for more. His lips are still parted slightly from the kiss, his eyes half-lidded with a dreamy gaze as he takes in the sight of you before him. He glances around the room one last time before leaning forward again, this time more bold, and initiating a third kiss however this time, his kiss is more passionate. His arms wrap around your body in a tight embrace, pulling you close. The kiss becomes increasingly more passionate, leaving Rolan dizzy with both pleasure and surprise as his tongue and lips slide against yours. His breathing is shallow and quick into the kiss, and his heart is racing like a whirlwind as his mouth opens further to allow your tongue to slide with grace against his. He’s slowly losing control of himself and his desire as he kisses.
You moan into his mouth as you feel every movement of his tongue and lips against yours. It’s euphoria, pure bliss where your mind is blank. Tabula Rasa. Rolan moans softly in response, his mouth opening fully as he gives in to the sensation. Your tongues are dancing eagerly and every motion of yours seems to send ripples of pleasure through his body and leaving his hand desperately grasping at your back. You slowly part from one another, your chests heaving as you gaze into one another's eyes, your lips both swollen and flushed. He stares at you, the feeling still washing over him as he feels completely and utterly enraptured. In that moment, Rolan sees only you. He breaths deep, his mouth still feeling warm and tingly from the kiss. He looks down at your lips, eyes still longing and yearning for another taste of them mingled with drink on his tongue.
In your haze, you forgotten you are in public until you hear a whistle come from across the room paired with a few catcalls. Your face flushes. Rolan looks up from you and glances around the room, realizing where the both of you are. His blush deepens as people's eyes are looking over at the two of you, clearly having witnessed the very-heated kiss between the two of you. He glances back down at you with a sheepish smile and shakes his head. "Perhaps a bit too much for a public place, eh?" his voice carries a hint of embarrassment for what has just transpired between you two.
You laugh in return at the awkward situation you’ve found yourself in. “Probably not the place to be giving this kind of show I suppose…” your voice trails off as you cast your gaze to the side. Rolan chuckles in response to your comment, his cheeks still flushed and his lips still feeling warm from the kiss. "I'm not sure there's a place for this kind of show at all," he replies playfully. "It would require a private room and a proper bed."
Your eyes go wide and your whole body flushes in disbelief that mentioned a private room and bed and perhaps just implied he wishes to sleep with you. He notices the sudden change in your demeanor, and his eyebrows raise in curiosity as he glances down at you, quickly realizing exactly what he just said. He tries to play it off, his gaze going up and down your figure and flitting about the tavern in panic. "I wasn't... I was... well, not joking, but..." He trails off, he says, clearly embarrassed at his accidental slip of tongue, tucking his top lip between his teeth in shame.
Your face is bright red and your heart is hammering out of your chest and you say something that you believe may be the result of a bit too much alcohol:
“Unless...you want to...”
Unless you want to.
Rolan's eyes go wide while he processes your words to their entirety. Unless you want to. Though you seem to follow up on his joke, everything suddenly stops feeling so playful. His heart begins to beat wildly, and he struggles to respond to what you said. His head is spinning, repeating your words again and again, his gaze is blank as he stares at you.
He finally seems to snap out of his panic, takes a deep breath and speaks though he can barely get the words past his lips. "A-Are... Are you suggesting..." He pauses again, swallowing hard and unable to meet your eyes. This surely can’t be what he thinks it is…can it?
You bashfully look down and your hands are playing with the hem of your blouse, twiddling a stray thread between your fingers. ”I mean...if you wanted to...I wouldn't say no to it. Bedding me that is.”
Your eyes glance up from your sleeve to quickly meet his before returning to the thread on your sleeve. Rolan's eyes snap up to you, his heart hammering so hard he can feel it shaking the wall of his chest. His mind seizes. You want him to bed you? Him. You. Bed. Touching. Sex. His tongue lays heavy in his mouth and he can barely get out a single sound.
"I... I..." He pauses. No words seem to come to him strong enough to defy his tongue, so he simply nods his head in your direction and makes a small sound of agreement.
You note his inability to speak and the way his eyes are wide and jaw has slacked. To break the tension, you take a swig of your drink and clear your throat starting to believe that perhaps he doesn’t truly see you the way you had originally assumed.
“Unless you don't want to but I'm just offering...I quite fancy you, Rolan. I think you're grand and enjoy when we meet up like this. And...I've always wondered what it would be like...with you.” Your eyes are softly gazing at him, your cheeks flushed. It’s embarrassing and exciting all at once, your heart is beating almost in your ears and your stomach is filled with butterflies hoping he does indeed feel the same way.
Rolan's breath catches in his throat, so overwhelmed by your words and the offer that he feels unable to respond. His cheeks are still flushed with the blush that is starting to fill his face and he can’t bear to make eye contact with you for fear he might combust. He opens his mouth to finally respond, but again he finds no words. Instead he just nods his head once again, nodding furiously and saying yes to you, before he finally has the courage to bring his eyes up, never letting his gaze leave yours.
You chuckle and cast a coy gaze at him. The man with so many words is speechless for once. “Then if you'd like...we can go back to my place and...get comfortable.” It’s an offer you’ve wanted to ask him time and time again but never had the courage to do and a part of you is thanking the bit of alcohol you’ve had tonight for helping you be able to speak the words that have been mulling in your head for months.
His face continues to glow red with embarrassment, as he feels like he has been utterly disarmed by your words and your offer. Yet, a smile creeps onto his lips, his gaze never leaving yours. "Y-Yes... I think I would very much like that." You feel your heart soar and the butterflies in your stomach rise into your throat as you realize that perhaps he does indeed see you the way you see him.
“Then let us head to my apartment. It's not far from here.”
Your words are more confident sounding than you currently feel in asking a man back to your abode. You glance to him and Rolan nods his head once again, feeling his heart beating wildly and his breath coming in short gasps as he realizes this is all really happening, that you’re intending to do more than simply spend an evening in your apartment together playing cards. The flirtation and the passion between you and him that has existed for months was all finally culminating to the moment he wanted so badly, one he would never admit he had quite literally dreamed of to some much embarrassing results. He stands from his seat, reaching out his hand to you, his tail flitting nervously behind him. A slight laugh escapes your lips as you grab his hand and lead him from the tavern, ignoring the catcalls and whistles from behind the both of you.
Rolan doesn't care about the catcalls and whistles either. He feels too caught up in the moment; too caught up in the anticipation and excitement of what's to come. You hold his hand as you lead him along the street to your apartment, neither one of you saying a word as you walk between drunken citizens singing sea shanties and other citizens from the Lower City.
When you arrive, you unlock the door and take off your shoes in your quaint entry. It's a small studio apartment on the top floor with a window garden and bookcases lining the walls filled with books that overlooks the street below and has a grand view of the night sky and ocean. He glances around taking in the sight of your apartment and notes how cozy it is filled with plants and books of all kinds.
Rolan follows you inside, taking a closer look at the various pots and climbing flowering plants that adorn a small table and the copious amount of well-read books littered about in stacks. The apartment is surprisingly comfortable, making him feel more at ease than he has the whole night. He notes to himself that your abode is very much like what he had always guessed it would look like. His eyes scan the titles before he looks over at you, smiling softly at the sight of you inside your own home for the first time.
“I know it’s not much...but when you travel as much as me, you don't need a lot.”
Rolan gives a modest laugh as you finish your sentence, he nods, and then looks around a bit more. The book collections, the plants, the apartment itself all shows an interesting side of you that he has not yet seen but one he always imagined. Once again his gaze meets yours, and he can't help but smile "I think your place is... it's wonderful. It's a nice home."
“I'm glad you like it. Would you like some tea? You're unsure how one is to begin this sort of thing with a man.”
You tuck your hands behind your back waiting for his response. The moment of hesitation gives Rolan a moment to gather himself slightly, his breath once again coming in short bursts as he stares openly at you. He nods his head, not quite able to take his eyes off of you. "Tea would be... wonderful, I think."
Rolan watches as you put on a kettle and grab a jar filled with a peculiar bright flower. It’s a rare floral tea you obtained from your trip to Chult on an expedition the previous year. It's fragrant, soft, inviting.
He smiles quietly as the scent of the flowery tea fills the room.. He can't help but sniff the air and let it fill his lungs. The scent is inviting and relaxing, much like a fresh rain upon flowers, and makes him feel at ease again after the rush of emotions from earlier. He glances around the room again, a soft grin spread over his face, as he waits patiently for the tea to brew and walks to your small table.
As you pour the tea for the both of you, Rolan notices a book left open on the table next to a small bag of yours. His eye catches your book on the table, and he glances over to it nervously, wondering if he should be prying into something that could be private. He hesitates briefly, but then he is unable to resist the temptation of reading. It was only out in the open after all. He steps closer to the table, and glances over at it curiously.
It's your journal and in it, you have been documenting a variety of flowers and herbs along with sporadic notes, which appear to be the titles of books.
As he glances down at your journal, his eyes linger briefly on the title written at the top. "Field Study of Plants and Herbs." He looks down and sees that each page contains various notes and studies you've made from your travels. He smiles softly, looking up to you. "Are these from your travels?" He asks softly, the journal's cover close to his face now.
You smile and set down the cups of tea as you sit with him. “Yes...I've come to find many of the plants I've worked with have properties of not only healing, but also as potent poisons. Some even require a source of magic to grow...I've been working to document them for future potions. Most of which you yourself have seen when I come into Sorcerous Sundries.”
The journal contains so much information from your travels, and Rolan is in awe of the detail of your notes and studies. From the way you describe the plants, it seems like you've done a lot of experimentation and research on them even down to the most minute of details. "That's amazing, I had no idea the plants and herbs in these regions would have such properties,” he dexterously flips a page and scans another, “Are they found in many places?". He briefly sets the book down and grabs the tea you have gifted him, taking a slow sip and savoring the delicate taste.
“Unfortunately not...most require specific circumstances to thrive and maintain their magical properties. Some species are elusive and only found in the most difficult places to reach. However, that's what makes my work rewarding. Being the first to find them and make use of their properties.” You take a seat at the table and smile fondly as he admires your work.
Rolan smiles back at you, your passion and determination for your field making him feel a wave of admiration for you. You seem like the type of person that would seek out the impossible, and do what others couldn't. He takes another sip of his tea and sits down next to you, tucking his tail around the leg of the chair. "That's very admirable. I doubt many people could be able to say they've done what you have in the pursuit of knowledge and magic."
You blush and grasp your tea with both hands, tucking your knees to your chest. “It's the nature of being an alchemist I suppose. I just...I want to learn all I can so at least someone can make use of it.” You gaze wanders to the farside of the room where an alchemical elixir is currently distilling amongst a menagerie of glass vials, tubes, and beakers.
Rolan follows your gaze over to the far side of the room, taking in the sight of the various bottles and potions that litter the table. His eyes linger on the elixir, as he watches the liquids inside it change as it brews "Is that another potion you're making? Its color is very different from anything I've seen before" he chimes, his curiosity piqued by your setup.
“It is,” your voice is confident and warm, “I'm working on a substance which can be used to reduce magical sickness in those who can't appropriately expel the Weave from their body or who end up taking on too much of it. Namely for young Wizards and Sorcerers in training. It's made with Sussur bark I obtained in the Underdark. Would you like to see?”
You take a sip of your tea and tilt your head as you ask him the question. Rolan turns in his seat, his eyes darting towards the bottle of the brewing potion. He leans closer from his chair as he can't help but stare at the liquid inside it, fascinated by the change it goes through. "Would I like to see? I would be thrilled."
You set your tea down, get up and he follows you over to your alchemy table and you grab a small vial of prepared liquid. It shimmers and glows when the vial is turned, briefly emitting a shimmering blue hue that illuminates the vial as the liquid tosses and swishes inside. “This is the purest form of Sussur extract. Upon ingestion, it can almost completely eliminate the ability for one to use magic. It could be used defensively or for medicinal purposes. Think about the children who are practicing magic and intake too much of the Weave, causing severe illness. Being a wizard I’m sure you perhaps have had a few magical mishaps yourself. It could solve the problem with a single drop.” Your eyes glow beneath the agitated liquid, a sense of wonder and awe at the concoction you’ve managed to synthesize.
Rolan leans forward to get a closer look at the liquid you hold between two fingers, the glow it emits mesmerizing him. He stares openly and in awe as you describe the effects of it - even more so at the concept of people who can't properly manage their use of magic. He turns his attention back to the liquid and gives it a cautious experimental sniff as you remove the lid - it smells strangely sweet, like honey.
“Sweet isn't it?” You reinsert the cork before explaining its origins further. “It's a beautiful, mesmerizing flowering tree but very dangerous to get to as many creatures call its roots home. As you near it, it also completely dulls your ability to use magic so the only way to get it is with your bare hands and a sword.
Rolan nods his head in admiration. Your knowledge is something to be marveled at and he begins to wonder how you managed to attain it to begin with.
“This Sussur extract is certainly unique,” he says, admiring the small vial, "I'm starting to think the entire Underdark is built to be as hazardous as possible to outsiders."
You smile mischievously, quirking an eyebrow. “Oh indeed it is. The denizens aren't exactly...friendly to humans like myself. I don a drow disguise much of the time I'm down there. Pays to look the part for safety you know?”
Rolan's eyes light up at the mention of drow disguise "You disguise yourself as a drow? How do you even manage that? Doesn't that mean dressing up as a drow and speaking Common with a drow accent, all while trying not to betray the fact that you're not an actual drow?"
You chuckle at his idea. “Sort of. I can't cast much magic but I do know…” your words cut off as you wave your hands and utter a phrase and before his eyes stands the image of a female Lolth-sword Drow “..Disguise Self. Handy isn't it?”
His eyes widen and his mouth opens slightly as he takes in the illusion before him. He stares in awe at the drow's attire, her features. It really is a flawless disguise. He feels the heat rise to his cheeks slightly as he stares. He clears his throat and glances back up at you as you do a small twirl with a curtsy at the end.
"That... I can't even put it in words how convincing that is. I've always heard Drow have an eerie beauty to them, but I've never actually met one."
You do another twirl, much slower this time. “Surprisingly neither have I. At least a live one anyway.”
Rolan watches you twirl, his heart racing for a moment. He is very intrigued by you in this moment, your appearance and overall aura just making him feel... something strange. You're like an enigma and it only makes him want to know more about you. He smiles "So you've never actually met a live Drow? As in…you’ve seen dead ones?"
You dispel Disguise Self as you speak. “No, not a live one. I've come across the corpses of male Drow routinely and many Duegar and Deep Gnomes but never a living Drow. Most reside in Menzoberranzan and I tend to steer clear of the area lest I be caught. My disguise can only go so far,” your tone is serious but he is intrigued by even the notion that you’ve wandered the Underdark alone.
"Menzoberranzan, the city of spiders. I've heard of it, and I too would avoid that area if I could. The Drow have a very well-earned reputation for being evil and ruthless" Rolan says, clearly fascinated with your experiences.
You hum, placing the vile down as you lean on your desk. “I think this is partially true. They are a matriarchal society who uses men as breeding stock and only allows 2 sons per family. They sacrifice any more than that, deeming them a waste of resources. I've come to learn that these sons, or even adult male Drow who disobey their Houses, may be sacrificed to Lolth herself and become monstrosities. However, there are Seladrine Drow that I've heard of, peaceful drow that wish to be accepted by those above and who do not share the evil inclinations of their Lolth-sworn cousins. I’ve even heard rumors there are two who sell their intimate services at Sharess’ Caress from a few adventurers.”
A moment of hesitation precedes his next question as he processes the facts you’ve stated. "Do you know why a society like that even exists? Why they follow Lolth so devoutly?"
Again you hum in response before explaining, “Most people don't. The only reason I know is because there are rumors that the legendary Drizzt Do’Urden is a Seladrine.”
He nods his head "I've heard the tales of Drizzt and the heroic exploits. If there are truly Drow that possess these traits, how do they fare in the Underdark among their more aggressive race? Wouldn't they be looked down upon as outcasts?"
“Precisely. Which is why I ensure my eyes are red when I travel to gather supplies in the Underdark. Red eyes are a hallmark of Lolth-sworn Drow.”
Your explanation makes absolute sense. The Underdark has proven to be an unforgiving environment, one that does not tolerate any weakness or kindness. Those that do possess these traits, like the Seladrine drow, must either adapt or pretend to be cruel or be killed by others for their weakness. It makes sense then that they would blend in with the other Drow to stay alive.
“Hence why this bark and extract are so precious...many die trying to get it.” Your gaze turns somber for a moment and Rolan notes that you probably knew many alchemists and apothecaries who lost their lives attempting to get it.
"That extract and the bark from the tree itself must be incredibly rare, and I'm sure it can be used for a number of purposes. It's no wonder your research is so important - I can't imagine the amount of lives you would save in just making such a small amount of this extract. I can understand now why you travel and risk so much." His voice is soft, almost reverent as he speaks.
It brings a smile to your lips that he understands the magnitude of your work. “I find the rarest of plants and bring their essences back to this humble abode to synthesize the best potions, elixirs, and tinctures money can buy. Many of which you yourself have handled and are the first to see in use.”
Rolan stares at you, listening intently as you enter your passionate explanation. You seem so... happy. Your passion and energy is evident as you speak about your work and the ingredients you find and he is honored to learn you entrusted him with some of the first potions of their kind for study and use. He smiles back at you, tail swaying contently, admiring your charisma and devotion to your field. "Your work is astounding, the sheer amount of patience and dedication must be immense."
You smile at him brightly. “It's no different than yours researching magic and magical items, creating scrolls, finding new methods to manifest the Weave. My area just involves plants.”
Rolan chuckles at your reply "You make it sound so trivial. Your work involves hunting down the most dangerous ingredients you can find, risking your life in such a hostile environment that is so far beneath the comfort of civilization. I merely sit and read scrolls and research ancient texts; my work is far less taxing and exhausting than yours."
“You make me sound like a hero...I'm none of that. I just enjoy the rush of it all.”
Rolan shakes his head and smiles. "That is the exact reason why I say you are, in fact, a hero. You put your life on the line when you could just as easily go into a less dangerous and hostile profession that pays the same. But that's not what you desire - you need a challenge, a rush. You are like a thrill seeker, chasing the excitement and adventure that comes with your work and I am honored to be witness to many of your creations."
You blush as he gets closer to you. His words feel more meaningful than any compliment you’ve ever received as his words are not simply those of admiration but respect for your passion.
You can't help but feel the heat of your blush as it paints your cheeks, your gaze cast shyly away from Rolan as he steps closer to you. Your reaction is so adorable and endearing to him that he feels himself beginning to blush as well. Your eyes meet his and the two of you just stare at one another, the silence only becoming louder as the heat intensifies. The only noise is the pounding of your heart in your chest.
“Rolan...I think you sell yourself short on what you do. I think what you do is fascinating.”
Your eyes linger on each other, neither of you able to break away in some kind of awkward yet heated stalemate. The silence is palpable, and the heat rising between your bodies is intense as neither one of you can keep our eyes off each other. You comment makes the heat rise even more in his cheeks and he feels himself becoming more flustered and self-aware of the situation at hand. He nods his head slightly, not knowing what else to say. Finally, he musters up the courage to speak, as his eyes dart from your lips to your eyes "You really think so?"
“I do,” you grab his hands, “You've done so much for this city with your research and skills. Not to mention how you took over three years ago. I find it rather impressive…”
Your hand feels so soft in his and the touch of you feels like electricity - sending a shiver down his spine. He smiles bashfully at you, unable to hide how flustered he is. He clears his throat and nods his head "I've never done it for the purpose of the city's benefit. I've simply worked to further my magical knowledge. And..." he pauses, his eyes narrowing slightly as they look away, "I've never actually had anyone praise me so much before."
You're staring up at him through soft eyes. “A pity...you deserve more.”
His breath catches in his throat for a moment, the feeling of your soft gaze making him feel nervous and excited at the same time. He looks down at you again, your smiling face catching him off guard. He's never felt this strongly towards someone else before. He finally responds, trying to remain as composed as he can. "Perhaps you are right about me selling myself short, but I could say the same about you. Your talents and dedication deserve recognition."
“I don't do it for the recognition...I do it because it makes me happy you know?”
Rolan smiles, finding that he understands you completely. He nods his head in agreement "I know...I think a lot of people would be shocked to know that's why I do what I do. I could sit and read magical texts and scrolls all day and not be bothered by it in the slightest. I enjoy researching magic. It makes me feel excited, thrilled, and it gives me a purpose. I think more people need to follow their passions like you and I do. That way... a lot of people wouldn't be so unhappy."
“I agree. I love discovering new things, it only for the sake of knowledge.”
Rolan listens to every word you say, nodding his head. You seem so passionate about your work, as a researcher. “That is certainly something you and I have in common” he says, heat rising in his cheeks. He smiles at you before elaborating, "I think the two of us are very similar. We both strive to gain knowledge, to understand something new and unknown to us. I suppose that's why we get along so well..."
You blush as you lean against his chest and hug him. “I suppose that is…”
Your words trail off softly as you feel your chest against his. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you in closer. Your body is like a furnace and his heart is pounding loudly. He's never felt like this before - so nervous and excited all at once. Rolan looks down at you as your bodies touch, your soft body and beautiful face the only things occupying his mind right now. He wants to stay like this forever.
“Rolan...what I said earlier. I really do fancy you a lot.”
He freezes mid-sentence as you speak, feeling you tuck yourself into his chest further. He's been waiting for these words, dying to hear them from you. He wants to believe you mean them, that they're genuine. You tilt your head up away from his chest and he stares into your eyes, which seem to have a spell on them that won't let him look away. The silence is loud as you both stare at each other, neither of you wanting to break this intimate moment. His heart beats faster with every second that passes and he swears you can feel it too.
You’re gazing at one another, closer and closer you get, lips a mere breath from touching.
The two of you are so close to each other now. You feel like you can breathe in each other's energy. Rolan's mouth is millimeters away from yours, as the two of you hold each other tightly. You feel as if you have finally found something real...something pure. Your lips are so close, you can practically taste each other's breath. Your hands grip each other tightly, as if you never want to let go.
“Rolan...tell me you want this” you gaze up at him with pleading eyes, your hands gently grasping at his robe.
His breath comes in shallow, quick breaths as he gazes down at you. You look up at him with such intense desire that he feels his heart stop. He wants this, he needs this. Your lips are so close and he wants nothing more than to finally meet them.
Your eyes flicker to his lips.
At the hint of your eyes flickering to his lips, Rolan leans down slowly. Your eyes meet before closing and your breath hits each other's tongues. It's happening; you feel so alive in the moment. Your breath catches as your lips touch and you feel like you may never recover. All other noises from the street below drown out as you both finally kiss, your hearts pounding. Rolan's hands are gripped tightly around you, as if he cannot bear letting you go.
Your kiss is soft and sensual. His lips press to yours as he pulls you into a deep embrace. Your kiss turns passionate, his tongue sliding against yours and you can't help but moan into it.
The moan surprises him and his breath catches in his throat once more. He pulls you in closer, kissing you more intensely. He wants this kiss more than anything, you're like a magnet that he can't pull away from. The kiss grows more and more passionate, your lips sliding against each other, bodies pressing tightly together. With each breath, heat flows throughout your bodies, each one taking in the other's energy.
You move your hands to grasp at his back and bring him closer. You can't help but want more of him as he feels as though he's devouring every inch of your soul in his kiss, a price you would gladly pay to feel more of him in this way.
Rolan responds to your touch, moving his hands to hold your body tightly against his. Your body presses against him and he wants you all over him, his breath is short and fast as he loses himself in you. He moves to kiss you more, wanting to consume you with everything he has. His tongue explores your mouth, sliding along your teeth and lips, as he tries to make sure you feel him in just the right places while your hands hold him close. He kisses you deeply, he’s lost entirely in this moment with you.
You slowly break the kiss your chest heaving as you look up at him, your eyes are glassy and your lips swollen, chest heaving and mouth slightly agape. “Rolan...I need you to know something.”
Rolan looks down at you, breathing heavily himself. His eyes meet yours, as he's waiting for you to finish your statement. He wants to know what it is you wanted to say, whatever it is - he has a feeling it won't change the way he looks at you.
“I...I've never done this before…” Your eyes wander away from his bashfully as he holds you at his chest. His heart is pounding out of his ears as he tries to register your words.
Rolan feels his breath catch in his throat. He stares at you for a moment, not sure how to respond. “You've never done this before? You're a talented, gorgeous woman who could have any man she wanted - and he was the man you chose.” A rush of elation and pride washes over him, as if that one fact is enough to set him over the moon.
You sheepishly look away from him. “Perhaps it was foolish of me to wait but...I have had opportunities but turned them down. I only ever wanted to do this with someone I cared for and for the last two years....I was hoping that would be you.” You jolt into him and bury your head in his chest in embarrassment.
Rolan's heart leaps in his chest. Your words make his heart ache and smile all at the same time. You've been wishing this for years? That's a powerful fact to hear. That means that out of anyone who's wanted you, I'm the lucky one? Rolan can't help but smile bashfully, as he pulls you closer to him still. His lips graze your head, as he holds you close. The feeling of your body against his is so warm and comforting, like home.
You mumble into his chest. “Rolan please say something oh gods I'm so embarrassed....”
He chuckles softly, wrapping his arms around you tighter, bringing your body against his. He nuzzles his cheek against your hair and whispers in response, his voice soft and comforting. "There's no need to be embarrassed. I never would have wanted this to be with anyone else. It's... it's almost as if I've been waiting for this moment my entire life."
You look at him clearly still embarrassed. “I knew going into this that you perchance had more experience than me since you're extremely handsome and you're well...the Archmage of Ramazith Tower. You've got all of these things and I'm just the adventuring alchemist girl who makes interesting potions.”
Rolan chuckles, shaking his head as you continue your sentence. “You're such a shy, sweet girl, and it's endearing, you know that?” Rolan can't help but smile at everything you say. He strokes your hair gently and lets his hand slide down your back. "Oh... oh, my dear. First of all, you are not just a mere 'adventuring alchemist' - you are an extremely talented woman with the most creative mind I've ever seen in a mage. And secondly..."
You look into his eyes finally as he gazes down at you softly, awaiting his reply. Your heart is racing
His gaze holds yours intensely. Your heart is thumping against your chest, trying to burst out. He finally responds, pulling you in until your lips are almost touching "Your intellect is what drew me to you, yes... but it's your personality that made me want to stay. You're kind and sensitive, with a playful streak and a fiery nature. You care about the world in the most empathetic way, and you always try to do what's good and right, even if it's at your own expense."
You feel your heart flutter.
“You think all those things of me? Truly?”
Rolan's smile widens as he gazes at you, his lips an inch away from touching. You can feel his breath softly brushing against your lips "Truly... I've never known anyone who compares to you. You're more than talented, more than beautiful... you're truly the most incredible person I've ever met."
“Then Rolan...” your words become quiet briefly before steeling yourself and speaking confidently, “…show me. I want to be yours.”
Rolan's eyebrows arch higher in surprise, as he stares at you. But his eyes linger on your lips. In this moment, he can't help but want this, to be yours. To be with you. After a moment, he pulls you in for another kiss, this one more powerful and passionate than the last. You feel his hands grip you tighter, as his lips hold yours with intensity. He kisses you deeply, slowly at first but picks up quickly. His breath catches in his throat as he feels his body responding to yours.
You feel him grasping you tightly in his embrace and you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him deeper into the kiss. His kisses make your lips tingle and your body flush with heat. As you kiss him, you guide him back towards your bed while pawing at his robes.
He allows you to guide him. Your hands on him are like a spark that sets off a wildfire in his body; he cannot hold back the heat that builds within him as you guide him to the bed. The intense kisses make his heart race, his breath heavy and frantic. He can't believe this is happening. He cannot believe that you are here with him now. Your kisses make him want you all at once, the desire to give himself to you overwhelming.
You feel the back of your legs hit your bed and you bring your hands to his chest, grasping tightly at the fabric of his robes. You want to touch his bare skin, feel his skin against your palms, against your bare breasts. A desire to simply touch him consumes you.
As your hands grip the fabric of his robes, he cannot hold back a low groan. The sensation of your caress sends chills through his body, igniting a longing within him that he cannot control. He wants to be closer to you, to have you so close that no air exists between your bodies. The rush of your warm breath grazing his neck sends shivers creeping up his spine, all of it making him desire you more than he ever has. His hands move to grasp your hips closely as he keeps kissing you deeply.
You break the kiss and look at him with your cheeks flushed and eyes glazed with a look of palpable lust. “Can you...take your robes off? I want to…feel you.”
Rolan's face flushes, his breath ragged and quick. Your words sounded so innocent but were meant for something much more suggestive. After a long moment, he can only manage to nod as he begins to remove his robes, your eyes glued to every inch of exposed skin he reveals. Once he is completely bare, you can see the scars that cover his entire body. There are some long and deep scars while others are shallow and speckled. He stares back at you, his body pulsing with energy and desire. He wants you more than he's ever wanted anything.
As he stands there in only his breeches and boots you can't help but marvel at his bare torso. You run your fingers across the planes and edges of his chest, feeling the hard points of the ridges his Tielfing body possesses and ghosting over his many scars. His body is fascinating and it entrances you.
Your touch sends shivers all over his body. He moans softly as you caress his bare torso with the tips of your fingers, tracing the ridges like a map of his own flesh. Your fingers are soft and playful, and your touch is hypnotic. He lets out a deep shuddering breath, as every inch of his body responds to you.
Something inside you stirs and you bring your lips to his chest to feel the sharp edges of his Tielfing markings. They're rough and calloused near smooth skin, the texture feels odd against your lips but still pleasant. The sensation of your lips on his Tielfing markings has a strange effect on him. It is as if all of the nerve endings in his body are waking up, coming to life at the touch of your lips. His body shivers and his breathing grows faster as each second passes, his breath heavy with anticipation. He closes his eyes against you, the desire to feel you in every way possible growing even more. He reaches down to pull you in closer so that your bodies are pressed together, your lips grazing his skin like a delicate kiss from flames.
You kiss his chest going lower and lower, down the expanse of his chest and abdomen and you stop briefly as you approach the edge of his breeches before looking up at him in awe. You haven't been intimate with a man in this way yourself, but you have ready many a romance novel and seen plenty of erotic art to know what you could do for him in this position.
The moment of hesitation makes him laugh softly, as he knows exactly what you're thinking. At first, he can only watch as you hover near the edge of his breeches. But he's also incredibly aroused by your boldness and curiosity, knowing how much further you're willing to take this - something that makes his chest flutter and his breath catch in his throat. You are clearly a curious woman who likes to explore things and take things to their limits. You are more than he could have ever imagined, and it makes him want you even more.
You look up at him expectantly as his hands come to graze your cheeks, one of his thumbs rubbing against your bottom lip affectionately. He can only admire how incredible you look kneeling before him, your eyes sparkling with wonder.
The feel of his hands on your cheeks makes your heart race. You stare back into his eyes, seeing the hunger within them. You feel his breath heavy in the air, each second that passes only adding to your excitement. You can tell that he wants you badly, and the fact that he's taking the time to hold you in his gaze and caress your cheek makes you feel incredibly wanted and desired. The rush of emotions from within you feels like fireworks, your heart beating out of your chest with every moment that passes.
“Rolan...can I..?” Your words still in the air, your gaze meeting his.
He stares back at you, his breath shaky as he waits for your words. Your touch has him dizzy and his heart hammering in his chest. Your eyes are bright, your words just out of reach. There's not much thought behind it - he knows very well what you're going to ask. He can't help but nod slightly, his tongue slipping out to lick his lips. He wants this, wants you.
Upon seeing him nod, you carefully unlace his breeches noting his arousal as you do. Your cheeks are alight. This is your first time seeing a man so intimately, the blood beneath your skin heating your body as you knew what you were about to do. Your fingers ply inside the band of his breeches and undergarments and slowly pull them down over his manhood, your breathing is heavy, hot.
The sensation of you pulling down his breeches has a sudden effect on him. His body shudders and his breath catches in his throat as you reveal his shaft to the air around you. Your fingers brushing against his bare skin make him tingle all over, his body aching for your touch. He tries to maintain his composure as your hands work your way down, each passing second only adding to his aroused state.
Cautiously you reach a hand out and give him an experimental grasp and stroke to him. Rolan gasps and bites his bottom lip with a fang in response to your touch. Your hand is so soft against the hardness of his arousal. He wants to thrust his hips against your hand but he stills himself to allow you to explore him. Your experimental grasp sends a jolt through him, your touch the first to ever to do so. It’s cautious, gentle, curious. It’s fascinating his skin is so soft yet so firm beneath your touch as you work your hands up and down his shaft, noting the peculiar ridges upon it.
Slowly your hand works as you bring the other to his thigh to balance yourself. You've never kneeled before a man in any sense before and the sensation it brings you to kneel before him and see him panting and breathless stirs a growing feeling between your thighs.
The sensation of you kneeling before him is a rush it gets his blood pumping and sends sparks all over his body. His breath is still heavy and his eyes are glued to yours, every breath you take sending a jolt of excitement through him. He can't help but shiver slightly, your touch making every inch of his body sensitive and responsive as if sparks danced upon his skin. His heartbeat quickens and his breathing grows faster with every second that passes, every stroke of your hands upon his erect member. You touch him and caress him in a manner that sends shivers down his spine with anticipation and in his mind all he can think is more.
You feel him shiver and it fills you with pride knowing you are the one making him feel like this. You cast your gaze upwards and in a quick movement, take his manhood into your mouth. He cries out and throws his head back as his shaft of his cock caresses your tongue and you hum in satisfaction. The way the ridges of his member caress your tongue as you suck him, lick him, and slide him in and out of your mouth and between your lips is a sensation that makes you want even more of him. Rolan is panting and moaning as your movements grow quicker and you feel his fingertips and claws playing against your scalp, encouraging you to continue your exploration while his tail begins to whip wildly behind him.
The sensation of your lips and tongue caressing him sends a wave of heat from his loins out the rest of his body. He can feel himself beginning to lose control and his pleasure beginning to peak. You're breathing heavy against him and you can feel his hips rocking against your lips and you know he’s most likely close to release.
He stops you with a gentle pat to the head and tap to the cheek, picking up your head up to look at him. His heart nearly stops entirely as he looks at you and sees how erotic you look. Your pupils are blown out, cheeks brightly flushed, lips swollen and plump as a strand of saliva connects your mouth to his most intimate parts. It's so lewd that even he could never have imagined such a sight with you even in the confines of his wet dreams.
A wave of hot embarrassment flashes over him as his heart races at your expression. Your flushed and reddened cheeks send his mind whirling as he takes in this moment. When you look up at him, the moment of pause is overwhelming. Your lips are still wet with saliva from your exploration, the scent of you filling the air and making his head spin all over again with desire. He can't help but reach back into your hair, wanting to maintain this close contact between you two.
“Did I...do something wrong?” You ask, your brows knitted in concern.
He shakes his head slightly, keeping his gaze on your eyes as he moves his fingers through your hair "No, no, quite the opposite." He swallows hard, feeling his face still flush from the moment. "When you..." He sighs, not sure how exactly to describe it, "When you took me into your mouth like that... It was... It was incredible. I almost…came in your mouth." His cheeks redden with his admission.
You blush and look away, not realizing how incredibly lewd you look to him in that moment and how aroused the sight is making him.
The combination of your position and the visual alone is enough to drive him wild. The blush covering your cheeks and the way you look away, not even realizing how beautiful you are in this moment, drives him crazy with desire. He pulls your head back to him and stares you down, his eyes burning with a hunger as he keeps working his fingers through your hair and his voice wavers. "It was the most glorious sight I could've ever imagined, to see you so... open and submissive like that."
Your heart is pounding and your breathing is quick as you stare up at him. He brings his hands to the sides of your face and motions for you to stand before him, allowing him to kiss you once before he gently begins to run his hands over your still-clothed body.
As you rise from your position on your knees, he cannot look away from the sight of your body. Even covered by your clothes, he cannot help but stare at the way it shapes your form. He traces your curves with his fingers, and you can feel the heat emanating from every inch of his hand. Your breath comes quicker and heavier as you feel his hands wandering, exploring you.
A confidence stirs within you seeing him naked before you. You back away from him slowly and begin to unlace your bodice, one strand at a time, letting it fall to the floor before sliding your blouse over your head and tossing it somewhere behind you. Rolan is taking in your every action and sees your shy smile as your hands creep to your chest bindings. With a simple snap, they unravel from your chest, falling to the ground around you. His eyes grow wide in awe.
The sight of you revealing yourself to him sends shockwaves throughout his body. Your skin is pale and smooth, without a hint of blemish. Your breasts are perfect. Your shape is incredible. All the time he's thought about you in this way, all the times he's wondered what you might look like in such a state, all these expectations are blown away by the reality of you in that moment. He swallows hard, his eyes still glued to you as he struggles to contain the heat that is coursing through him. Oh how he wants to touch you, to grasp at the soft curves of your body and claim them as his.
You’re standing before him shyly now unlacing our own breeches and kicking your socks away, shedding the last bit of clothing left upon your body. Rolan can only stare at you jaw slack you stand before him, all of you, naked in the glowing light of the moon and the glow of the candles in your room. You glance away embarrassed at your nakedness and cross your arms in front of your breasts to cover yourself. A heat rushes through you as you realize you’re bare for him to see.
His eyes are wide as he gazes upon you in your naked state. Your body is perfect, and even the slightest movement triggers a response in him. His eyes are glued on you and he cannot help but let out a low growl from the sight of you. The way you cover your breasts triggers something deep inside him, the urge to claim you even more intense now. His breath is heavy and his fingers twitch, wanting desperately to touch you.
Your eyes quickly meet his when you hear the low growl he emits. It makes your skin prickle with gooseflesh and heat pool between your thighs. You're now an arm’s length away from him but you can feel the heat his body is emitting and can see his tail turned up in attention.
He reaches out and grabs your arms, his grip firm and strong as he moves them away from your breasts. He wants to touch you, to have you completely vulnerable and submissive before him. His eyes burn hot as he looks you over, wanting to see you covered in every inch of his affection. He glances down at your body briefly for a moment, eyes burning, before he moves his hands back up. "Look at me, please."
You cast a shy glance to him as you allow him to move your hands from covering your breasts.
The way his eyes are glued to you sends shivers up your spine, your eyes flicking between his gaze and his mouth. You can feel your own breath grow heavier as you notice his eyes moving slowly down your body again. He glances at your lips as he speaks. "It is all so perfect. You are perfect."
“Rolan...”You trail off finally having the confidence to press your naked body to his in an intimate embrace. He's looking down at your form and he wants nothing more than to make you his in that moment. To take your maidenhood and be the first man to claim the affection of the rare and delicate flower that you are.
The way your body presses into his makes his flesh prickle and a wave of heat rush through him. You look so small in his arms, he can't help but wrap them around you and pull you closer. The desire he feels is burning hot, his body shaking slightly. Your body is so soft, so perfect. The way he can feel you heat against him. He stares at you, his eyes burning, his breath still heavy. He wants to claim your body, to make you all his.
You look up at him as you break the embrace and scoot onto the bed behind you, bringing his hand with you and guiding him on top of you.
When you guide him onto the bed, he cannot help but get excited at the way your body is moving his way. He is on top of you with his weight balanced on his arms, hands still cradling you to him while his arms cage you in. The way he is staring at you is making you shiver, and you can feel the way his body is moving against yours. This is an incredibly intimate moment, and he is loving every second of it. You see the look in his eyes, the desire, and the hunger.
As he cages your body in further, you bring your hands up to his hair and loosen it so it falls in a curtain around the both of you. A smile plays on your lips and you give him a soft, chaste kiss, spreading your legs wide enough for him to slot between them. He sees your gaze looking over the planes of his face as you hold it in your hands. “Rolan...I'm ready.”
The way your legs move apart for him sends a jolt through his entire body. Seeing you spread your body and your most delicate parts for him makes his heart hammer in his chest. It's the most beautiful and arousing sight he could've ever imagined. He is breathless with desire, his hands gripping yours tightly as he can feel what has to happen next. "Are you sure?" he hisses, his eyes bright with want.
You nod in response. “Yes, I'm sure. I want you.”
This response sends more heat through him. His eyes burn hot with arousal. He moves slightly closer, his breath still heavy as he gets close to your face. He pauses for a moment, his mouth almost hovering against yours. He can feel himself wanting you even more now. He stares into your eyes and you can see the desire in his. His own cheeks are blushing, his body trembling and hot. The moment between you two is so heavy, so intense, and so erotic. "Are you ready?" he finally asks again.
You nod once more. “Yes…” Your answer is breathless
That sends another shiver through him. His lips part slightly as he moves down and kisses your neck, feeling your lips pouting slightly in response. He moves down further, kissing down your neck, down to your chin, down to your lips. He kisses you deeply, his hands moving down to your sides and tracing your figure. The sensation of your body beneath him is so sensual and exciting. Every inch of your skin and flesh is covered in heat and warmth, and your body is burning in a way he's never felt before. His kisses become harder, more frantic, and more intense.
He's kissing at your breasts and neck, a hand of his wandering to one of your breasts to knead it in his palms and caress at your nipples with his fingers. You whimper and cry out into his touch as he continues to kiss and explore your body. He is consumed, enthralled by the sounds his touch elicits from your kiss-swollen lips.
Each time your body reacts to his touching you, he is overcome with a rush of excitement. Every sound, every whimper, every moan, every movement you make is something that drives him wild. His body is trembling now as he continues to kiss you, his hand caressing your breast, his breath heating the skin beneath his kisses on your naked flesh.
His fingertips wander your body and you feel them making their way down the plane of your belly before sliding between your thighs. You feel his fingers tracing at your most intimate of parts and you can't help but moan into the intense pleasure he's plucking from your body as he traces between your folds gently.
The feeling is overwhelming, you feel as if every bit of your body is singing in pleasure.
“Ah! Rolan!” You yelp as you feel his fingers slowly slide inside of your body and hook against you. He begins slowly pumping in and out of your womanhood, his thumb rubbing at the sensitive bundle of nerves above. You've never felt such pleasure and your breathing is becoming ragged as he continues to tease at your body, the sound of your arousal squelching around his fingers and your pants echoing off the walls.
Rolan is kissing at your neck as he ensures you're properly prepared for the act that is about to come. He begins to feel the ring of muscles of your center tighten and he carefully removes his fingers and gazes at your breathless form lying beneath him.
He cannot help but gaze at you with adoration and desire, his eyes burning hot as you lie beneath him. Your body is writhing with want, your breath coming in quick, and the folds between your thighs are slick with your arousal.
You look at him and plead breathlessly. ”Please...”
His breath seems to catch at the word you use. His eyes become almost predatory as that is all that he needed. Rolan positions his hips to yours and slowly slides himself inside of your body, stretching you around the shaft of his cock. At first it's a searing burn, tight and tense but then gives way to a pleasant sensation of fullness. Rolan stills when he hears you cry out in pain beneath him. He pauses upon hearing your small cry of discomfort, not sure if he should continue. For a moment, he remains still as he looks down at you to gauge your reaction, his eyes searching your face for any sign he should stop.
Your eyes have tears in them but you look up at him to reassure him you're okay. “I'm okay...just adjusting.”
That's all he needs. His body begins to move, his breath heavy and his pace slow at first but gradually gaining speed and rhythm. He slowly thrusts into you and every glide of his body in and against yours makes you arc your back in pleasure. You can feel every inch of his body inside yours, the sensation of his manhood stirring heat between your thighs. Your hands come to wrap around him and grasp at the flesh of his back as he thrusts into you. You can't help but moan as he makes you feel sensations your own fingers have never granted you with every thrust of him into you.
His thrusts, once languid and slow, gradually moving harder and faster against you. Your legs instinctively come up to wrap around his hips and you cry out when he begins to hit a single spot inside your body over and over at this new angle. You know he's losing himself to you as he grunts and growls into sporadic kisses against your lips and neck, his tail thrashing wildly, bed frame rocking into the wall. “Ah oh gods Rolan I can't...it feels so good I'm- ngh!” Your words are broken by the pleasure tightening between your legs.
Rolan is lost to his urges and he begins to growl deeply, his teeth gritted, fangs on display as he ruts into you. His body is hot, flushed, filled with desire to complete you. You can hear his ragged breaths mixed with primal sounds resonating deep in his chest. It's a sound that makes your womanhood throb with want and your body shudder with a deep primal need for more.
You're panting hard and the sensations are too much, you feel the coil inside you tightening quickly ready to snap and you call out to him, your release is closing in. “I-I think I'm going to come! Please don't stop!”
He hears your pleading and continues his pace and suddenly he too feels his own climax rapidly approaching. It's all so much, the heat between your bodies, your sweet cries of pleasure and the wet sounds of skin meeting skin, the desire to fill you with a part of himself. He's holding out until he hears you cry out, your hips suddenly thrashing against him wildly, your hands clawing at his back as your climax rips through your body violently. The sensations and noises you're making have him speed his thrusts up before his hips stutter inside of you and he can feel your orgasm milking him for every ounce of spend he can give. He groans low and bites down on your shoulder as he fills your womb with his seed, slowly rutting himself into you as he comes.
You lie there together, panting in the afterglow of your mutual climaxes.
He continues to lie on top of you, his eyes closed and his breath heavy. He's still inside of you and still shaking slightly, all the heat coming off of his body. He lifts his head away from you, his eyes opening slowly. He gazes into yours, his eyes burning hot as he looks down at you.
You look up at him eyes half-lidded, lips parted in a small smile as your chest heaves.
Rolan leans down and gives you a kiss, his body still trembling slightly. You can feel his heart still thumping in his chest as your mouths meet. His tongue moves to trace at your lips, and his breath is still heavy from the intense pleasure. His kiss is sensual, comforting in the haze of your lovemaking. As he kisses you, he wraps his arms between your body and the bed and brings his tail to wrap around your calf. He's clinging to you intimately and you feel your heart skip a beat.
He pulls you even closer to him, pressing his chest against you, the both of you sticking together slightly as the light sheen of sweat on your skin cools. He’s holding you tightly, his body still trembling, but slowly regaining its composure. You can feel the heat and the pulse coming off of him. Your bodies, your souls are still connected in this moment of deep and genuine intimacy. It's a beautiful thing, and he knows that even from the way you look at him. He presses his body against yours and his tail snakes around your leg, brushing against you softly as he remains inside of you.
He breaks the kiss and asks how you feel, carefully bringing himself to hover slightly above you. You respond with a soft, love-drunk smile. “I feel...like I'm floating.”
He chuckles softly, his tail slowly slipping down your leg further. He nods at your response, his eyes still locked on yours "And I feel like I'm on fire. But in a good way." The warmth of the moment lingers with both of you as you lie there, staring at one another. You can see the desire in his eyes, but his breath is calming now, his body relaxed a bit more.
He notices you grimace briefly and chirp in discomfort. He's still inside of you but the mixture of your arousal and his seed is starting to uncomfortably seep out from you. Rolan notices this too and pulls out gently, trying his best not to make too much of a mess. His breath is still heavy and his face flushed with desire. He lies down next to you in bed as he puts his arm around you, his tail wrapping around you again. He stares at you, his eyes sparkling with a mixture of desire and affection. He's still breathing deeply and his body is still hot from your lovemaking.
You turn towards him and place a hand on his cheek to stroke his face and his claws gently scratch your back. The moment between you is indeed one of pure intimacy, as you lie wrapped in each other's arms, his hand still caressing your face, your nails gently scratching his back. You two share a look, your eyes locking softly as man and woman. The desire between you is still hot and heavy, your bodies still hot and flushed, and the moment fills you both with warmth and happiness. He can't help but smile softly, his eyes on yours as you look at him. He's still wrapped around you, his arm still snaked about your body and his tail is wrapped around you like a heavy rope tying you together. This moment is so perfect and intimate. He looks so soft and adoring, a hard contrast to his normal grumpy persona everyone else sees. It makes you chuckle and he's curious what has you giggling. He sees you chuckle at him and raises a brow, curious about what is making you laugh so.
“You just are so different right now...everyone thinks you're this grumpy, stoic wizard but not to me.”
As you say this, he can feel himself blush slightly. He shifts a bit in the bed, embarrassed. He feels as if he has just been seen naked, in a way. This is the kind of intimacy that makes him feel extremely vulnerable with you. For a moment, he looks aside in embarrassment but then finally meets your gaze again, smiling softly.
“I quite like this side of you...it's nice.”
His blush deepens at this response. He sighs and looks down, then back up to your eyes with a shy smile. It's rare that someone gets through to him this much, especially with his shell of sarcasm and grumpiness. It's nice to know you enjoy this side of him.
You snuggle closer to him and he wraps his arms around you and kisses the top of your head.
He can feel his heart racing at these moments of intimacy and affection. The warmth of you being in his arms is one of the most calming things he has ever experienced. He presses himself into you and you can feel the heat coming off his body, he's definitely still flushed from what happened between you two. He kisses your head and wraps his arms around you tightly, holding you close to him.
“Rolan...thank you.”
Your simple words cause him to blush deeply, his cheeks feeling like they're on fire. He smiles slightly and pulls you in a little bit closer to him, his body still feeling a bit warm from the intimacy between you both. He closes his eyes as he pulls you against him and speaks softly, his breath a little shaky. “No... I should thank you for tonight. It was... something I needed.”
“Something you needed?” You picked your head up to look at him curiously.
He sighs softly, his hand stroking your hair. You look soft and beautiful in his arms, a very comforting contrast to his rough and gruff exterior. “You know, I haven't... let anyone in like this. No one... not in a long time.”
You smile and nuzzle close before speaking. “Then I'm glad you were my first.”
Your words almost catch him off guard with their intimacy. He chuckles softly and his body is still trembling slightly, the arousal still lingering from between you both. He kisses your back gently and holds you closer to him for a moment longer.
“I was nervous...that I wouldn't be good enough for you since I was a you know...virgin. In truth you have a lot of my firsts now…” Your face turns read once more as your words trail off.
A smile spreads across his face when you admit this, his eyes beaming at you with affection. His hand runs lightly across your back and he nods in agreement with you. The idea of being your first means a lot to him not simply because he was your first intimate experience but because you trusted him enough to choose him.
“I'm glad it was with you. Perhaps I sound silly but ever since we met...I wanted it to be you.”
Your words are like music to his ears. Hearing this brings him another smile, one that is soft and heartwarming. He continues to caress your back softly, his heart swelling with emotions.
You sigh softly. “In truth I'm not sure where we go from here....we are both adults and I know you've got your own goings on. If tonight is all I get with you then... I am happy. You fulfilled a wish of mine and for that I can't ask for more. If that is the case I do think I'd be sad I ruined out friendship by being selfish...”
Your words make his heart sink, his breath catching in his chest as he hears you say this. He realizes that, in the heat of the moment, you may have gotten the wrong impression. He shifts his body a bit, moving onto his side so that he's now facing you fully. He speaks in a calm and soothing voice, one that has no edge of sarcasm or anger to it at all. He speaks to you with all honesty. “I... I want you. To keep seeing you. I... do not want it to end like this.”
Your eyes snap to his.
Your heart stops and your eyes widen.
“You want...to keep seeing me? Truly?” Your eyes are watering and it feels like your words are caught in your throat.
He raises a hand to brush the hair out of your face and his eyes are a mix of passion and intensity, but also affection.
“Truly.” It's an honest and solemn answer. He brings a hand to your cheek, and his eyes still hold the same fire and adoration. He nods at you a few times as he continues to hold you tightly, his words still being honest and genuine.
“As in...to court and be a...couple?” the words leave your mouth uncertain.
He smiles softly and his cheeks are burning up. He nods his head frantically a couple more times. This feels real, like he's finally let himself be vulnerable with you in these moments after he closed himself off for so long. You spring into his chest and he feels you start to cry as you bury yourself into him,
Your tears are the last thing he expected, but the instant he feels your body shaking and trembling his arms are wrapped tightly around you, holding you close to him. He rubs your back gently as you cry, his hand a soft and calming sensation compared to his usual stoic and prickly exterior.
You mumble softly, “Thank you.”
He rubs your back gently and holds you closely, his heart filled with a warmth he has never felt before. It feels so good to be this close to you, a woman he can be honest and open with instead of using sarcasm and grouchy behavior to keep people away. He lets you cry into him, he doesn't mind the tears and the only thing he wants to do right now is hold you.
Your tears dry and you bring your face to his and he sees how wonderful you are and how much you truly care. “I was so worried that tonight was going to be it for us I just...I am so happy right now.”
He smiles softly and wipes a tear from your cheek with his thumb. The idea that you thought tonight could be the last time you see him breaks his heart. You see his expression, his eyes shining with a hint of tears. How could he let you feel this way? He pulls you in a bit closer to him and holds you tightly.
“I'm sorry for crying,” You wipe your tears away,“I just...feel overwhelmed. Good things don't happen to me often.”
He shakes his head and caresses your face. You see that he is still a bit emotional, that this whole experience means a lot to him. He is used to keeping people at a distance. And you're right there in his arms, crying, vulnerable, but he feels no desire to pull away. No sarcasm, no anger, just the desire to caress the woman standing before him now. He leans forward and kisses you gently, and then he holds you tightly again, not allowing a single inch between you two.
You feel him wordlessly comforting you as you curl in on him and fall asleep in his arms. The silence doesn't feel awkward or uncomfortable. The two of you are in each other's arms and have just made love. It's a beautiful thing, this intimacy. You begin to feel yourself drifting off to a comfortable sleep, the feeling of his body still pressing against yours keeps you secure and safe. You can't sleep any better than this, knowing you have his strong and protective arm protecting you. You fall asleep, your heart still beating with joy from this evening knowing that your first would not be your last.
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I hope everyone enjoyed the finale of @mrghostrat's Big Name Feelings Good Omens AU as much as I did. While ghostrat ended his story perfectly with a beautiful and realistic close to the part of their relationship we as an audience get to see, I had one more scene idea close to my heart and so I'm putting it out here because my heart still sings with love for this story and its characters.
These fanscenes now also appear on AO3. Along with the four I've already posted here (1, 2, 3, and 5), you can find a scene I kept off Tumblr ("Ch. 12"). You can read the final scene ("Ch. 17") below, but you can also find it on AO3, where it shows the text messages in graphical form.
Bilv, thank you once again for creating such an amazing story! I'm happy to say that my mind is no longer filled with your middle-aged men and their middle-aged-man problems. Instead, please enjoy these 3k words of pure fluff.
—
Crowley dumped his bag on the hotel room floor and did a lazy spin to take in the space. "Not bad, eh?"
"It's very posh," Newt agreed, setting his bag down more gingerly. "You're sure we can't pitch in for it?"
"I'm not dealing with you setting your phone on fire trying to do a transfer." Crowley waved the offer off and flopped onto the couch. The hotel suite had two small bedrooms plus a nice little sitting area that would be perfect for board games. It was set up to mainly accommodate a family with kids, albeit a family that could afford to splash on a multi-room suite for the family vacation to Spain. Crowley stretched out, shamelessly taking up the whole couch in a bid to ease the stiffness in his hips. "Tell ya what, if you're feeling guilty, you can buy my drinks tonight."
Anathema laughed and gave Crowley a poke in the side, looking quite satisfied at his jerk and yelp. "Knowing you, that will end up being a fair deal. And I'll take care of renting the wheelbarrow to cart you back here."
Crowley rubbed his side dourly. "Maybe I preferred you on the other side of the ocean."
Anathema grinned at him, unrepentant. "If you want to stay at my place while I'm here, I'll lend you my keys." She ducked a thrown pillow with a laugh.
—
The weather was perfect for sipping cocktails outside, and their mutual agreement to all try drinks they'd never had before helped keep the night from slipping away from them too quickly. Being able to chat without the artificial framing of a webcam was a delight, too, but all of them were too continuously connected to be interested in a strict phones-down policy.
Anathema rolled her eyes and took another sip of her drink before answering the text that had just popped up on her screen.
Aziraphale: Are you certain he doesn't know I'm nearby?
Anathema: I didn't tell him, Newt doesn't know, and he doesn't have a magical angel-detecting sense does he?
Aziraphale: I'm not so sure about that last point. Some of his last texts seem awfully pointed.
Anathema: You're being paranoid
Anathema slipped her phone away before leaning over to look at Crowley's phone screen, where he was lining up a very artistic shot of his drink, showcasing as much of the swanky beachfront seating area as possible. She blinked at him slowly. "Have you been sending Aziraphale 'wish you were here' texts?"
Crowley glanced at her sideways, his thumb paused over the shutter button. "Maybe."
Anathema sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Are you an adult who can handle a vacation with friends or are you going to pine after your boyfriend all night?"
"I'm here, aren't I? It's not like we're tied together at the hip."
Anathema shook her head in fond exasperation. "Getting these printed on postcards for him would be funnier than this text spam." Crowley barked out a laugh and sent Aziraphale his next promise to take him here sometime anyway.
Anathema pulled out her phone again, tapping out a quick message.
Anathema: He says he's a full-grown adult who can handle being away from you.
There was a pause before Aziraphale responded to her — probably due to dealing with a barrage of messages from Crowley.
Aziraphale: A very convincing claim.
Anathema looked up as Crowley put his phone away. "All done?"
"Yeah, he's taking an early night." Crowley took a languid sip from his drink.
"How have his workshops been going?" Newt asked, fiddling with a vibrant russet cocktail in a type of glass he couldn't name.
"Good!" Crowley's eyes lit up with excitement, his cheeks pink. "We polished his presentation before he left—"
"I heard about that!" Newt cut in. "He said it was more like beta-testing than beta-reading."
Crowley snorted. "If you want to see what happens when someone goes against the script, I'm your guy."
"The reception's been okay?" Anathema asked. "I know getting audience participation at workshops can be pulling teeth."
"Nahhh, it's different in the library world. Those weirdos actually care about their jobs."
"So do I, but it would be pulling teeth to get me to do a 'group active learning exercise.'"
"Fair." Crowley grinned. "They know how to talk like humans, then. And they really are interested in anyone with tips on how to break into digital spaces in an authentic way."
Newt hummed thoughtfully. "He's really okay with talking about his online presence at work like that? I'd be way too embarrassed."
"Nah, you stop caring about that stuff when you get older."
Anathema snorted. "I'm still saying it's pure luck you didn't chase him offline again with that con nonsense."
"Pfffft." Crowley made a sound that was all plosives and no vowels. "Never even close."
"Right," Anathema replied with tasteful sarcasm.
Crowley cut her teasing short by slapping a yellow canvas pouch down on the table. "C'mon. Let's play a game!"
"Oh, Bananagrams!" Anathema accepted the diversion and unzipped the banana-shaped bag, pouring the Scrabble tiles out between them. She deftly started flipping them letter side down. "I don't think Newt's played?"
Crowley nodded and waggled his fingers at the pile of tiles. "Rules are easy: Everyone's building their own board-free Scrabble grid. You start with 21 tiles. Say 'peel' when you've used yours up to make everyone take another tile from the stock. Say 'dump' to trade one of your tiles for three from the stock. The first person to say 'peel' without enough tiles left for everyone to take one wins. Simple, right?"
Newt nodded slowly, watching as Anathema divided the tiles out neatly. "So they're putting Scrabble in bananas these days."
—
Aziraphale: Is he up yet?
Crowley gestured Anathema towards the table where their phones sat in a cuddly pile of charging pads and wires. "You got a message while you were in the shower. From Aziraphale?"
Anathema kept her face carefully schooled as she sauntered over and picked up her phone, using the need to adjust her towel turban as an excuse for not making eye contact. "Mm." She picked it up and read the incriminating message, then snorted. "Bracing himself for when your wall of texts will start, I imagine."
"Nahhh, he loves it!" Crowley snagged the glasses cleaner out of his bag and sauntered into the bathroom. He'd be wearing them all day and he'd murder someone if he had to deal with the scummy film left by hotel soap.
"Whatever you say, lover boy." Anathema breathed a tired sigh.
Anathema: Yeah, and he saw this. We should be at the conservatory by 11
She should have just taken the phone into the bathroom with her, steam be damned.
—
The botanical conservatory was, frankly, gorgeous. The greenhouses were so large the ceilings weren't even noticeable, and the outdoor gardens were a riot of native plants. Crowley devoured the signs about plants he was unfamiliar with with gusto, and pointed out those he recognized with the enthusiasm of a man determined to prove he wasn't hungover. Newt listened with unfeigned interest, while Anathema wasn't shy about slowing them down to take photos of particularly artfully arranged displays.
They'd been there about half an hour when a patter of English broke through the background chatter of Spanish. "Could you spot me the entrance fee for the butterfly room?"
"Aziraphale!" Crowley immediately spun to his right, his whole face lighting up in delight before realizing that seeing him here was, in fact, quite odd. "What are you doing in Spain?"
"I left right after my last workshop. I thought it might make a nice surprise."
"It made the best surprise." Crowley pulled him into an ardent kiss that went on long enough for Anathema to cough something about public displays of affection. Crowley eventually relented on the kiss, as much for the sake of their breathing as anything else, but kept his arm slung firmly around Aziraphale's shoulders. "You're a bit of a bastard, you know that? I could've been looking forward to this the whole time."
"Only as much of a bastard as you deserve," Aziraphale teased right back with easy familiarity. His heart kept pounding hard anyway.
"Heh. What a way to butter me up while you're angling for a free ticket." Crowley snuck another kiss onto Aziraphale's cheek. Aziraphale laughed as he slipped his arm through Crowley's, relishing the contact after their weeks apart.
The butterfly room, when they got in, was a riot of fluttering wings. The promise of iridescence was enough to get Crowley to remove his sunglasses, and a quiet compliment on his eyes from Aziraphale was enough to get him tucking them into his pocket instead of putting them right back on afterwards.
They left the butterfly room — with some careful mutual inspections to make sure no one was harboring a stowaway, involving perhaps a bit more care in running fingers through another's hair than was strictly necessary for the task — and emerged near the exit to the rose garden. Crowley's hand moved towards his sunglasses but Aziraphale put his hand on his arm. "Just a couple more minutes? There's something I want you to see first." Aziraphale glanced over at Anathema, who nodded slightly but otherwise kept her expression carefully uninterested.
Crowley looked between them and shrugged. "Not exactly subtle as far as hangover tests go, but a'ight." Aziraphale laughed breathlessly and kept a firm grip on his arm, drawing him deeper into the garden.
The rose garden featured small offshoots to the main path where groups could sit for a little while to rest. It wasn't until the third one that they came upon an alcove that was empty, and Aziraphale promptly pulled Crowley aside, Anathema holding out her hand to keep Newt just outside it with her.
"Crowley—" Aziraphale began, his breath catching in his throat as he caught Crowley's full attention. "I, ah. I actually came here because there was something I wanted to say."
Crowley's hand twitched reflexively towards his glasses again, but this time he kept it down himself, even as his heart started to pound. "...yeah?"
"Yeah," Aziraphale breathed out as he sank to one knee, reaching into his pocket. His fingers were trembling, and his smile was nervous but so very adoring. "If I ask you something, will you promise to laugh?"
"—huh?" Crowley blinked in confusion, then stared as Aziraphale opened a jewelry box to reveal a simple ring.
"Anthony J. Crowley, would you be my snouse?"
It took a few seconds for Crowley to register any of the words Aziraphale had just said, but then he barked out a laugh as the last one hit him. "Really? That's how you ask?"
"You don't like it?"
"I just... I thought if you did it, you'd do a whole speech for it. You even brought us out to a rose garden!"
"I'll be honest, I had one of those planned. I just... couldn't quite seem to bring it to mind." Aziraphale had no idea how he was managing to talk even as much as he was around the tightness in his throat. "You haven't answered my question, dear."
"Pfft..." Crowley closed both his hands around Aziraphale's. "Yes. Yes, of course I'll be your... your whatever. Forever and always."
"Thank goodness." Aziraphale half rose and was instead greeted by Crowley also kneeling, both of them moving together for a kiss that was slow and deliberate. Aziraphale could feel the pounding of his own pulse against the tight hold Crowley had on his hands, and he could tell how Crowley's heartrate had risen to match his by the way their kiss kept shifting for quick intakes of air. Aziraphale finally broke the contact only so he could gently extricate his hands from Crowley's. It took every scrap of concentration he could scrape together to find Crowley's left hand and slip the ring onto his finger. "...it fit okay?"
"Nggh," Crowley replied before pulling him into another kiss.
They might have stayed there all day if Anathema hadn't cleared her throat — snapping another quick photo as they looked up at her, flushed and frazzled. "We are still in public, I'm afraid."
"Yeah," Crowley breathed.
"Huh..." Aziraphale added, just as coherently.
Newt shook his head at the unlikely prospect of them getting up anytime soon, and looked over at Anathema instead. "How were you so prepared?"
Anathema flashed him a smile. "I knew this was coming. Aziraphale asked me to take the photos."
"Is that why you're here?"
"It was the other way around," Anathema replied. "Aziraphale realized he could arrange his schedule to join our trip partway, and we worked out how to take advantage of the situation."
"Bastard," Crowley muttered in response to nothing and everything, pressing tender kisses to Aziraphale's left ring finger like he could imprint a ring there with his lips. "Did you measure my finger while I slept?"
Aziraphale smiled as he watched him, his heartrate finally settling closer to normal under Crowley's reassuring touches. "It's scarcely my fault you're so easy to send to sleep, dearest."
"You're ridiculous. Adorable. Incorrigible."
"Are those all synonyms in your mind?" Aziraphale leaned in to steal another kiss.
Crowley laughed breathlessly at how easily they'd returned to comfortable teasing and carefully pushed himself up. He tugged his clothing straighter and tried to pretend he was put-together as he glanced at Anathema, who was grinning unabashedly at them. "I'll want those pics for... for everything. All of them."
Aziraphale put his hand on Crowley's arm for support as he straightened his own creaking knees. "I'm claiming Tumblr first, if you don't mind."
"Eh—" Crowley gave him his full attention again, not that it had strayed for more than a moment. "This will really get you notice, Angel."
"Good." Aziraphale took Crowley's hand and leaned in to kiss him. He rubbed his fingertip over the ring settled firmly onto a finger that had never borne one before. "Let them know who's claimed you."
Crowley snaked his arm around Aziraphale's neck, chasing down another kiss that went on long enough to have Anathema clucking behind them. "We're gonna get kicked out of the garden, Angel."
Aziraphale smiled against Crowley's lips. "Let them. The one we made is better."
—
Three bottles of wine sat open and mostly-drunk on the table, divided between four glasses that were using the remnants of the previous night's game of The Quiet Year as a coaster. ("We set it in an idyllic countryside and it all went downhill from there," Crowley had explained when Aziraphale came in and started examining the hand-drawn map. "I think the arrival of the dog was the real turning point to madness," Newt had chimed in. "It was doomed from the start," Anathema declared with a resigned sigh.) The red rings of wine stains could have added as much to the group narrative as anything they'd purposefully drawn.
"I came in like a wrecking ball~! I never hit so hard in love~!" Newt sang raucously, a broad grin on his face while Anathema laughed into her hand. Aziraphale tilted his head as he watched them, visibly processing the music.
"All the other kids with their pumped-up kicks, you better run—!" Anathema joined in as the tune jauntily transitioned to a new melody. Aziraphale's face froze into an expression of fond but intense confusion.
"Problem, Angel?" Crowley drawled, utterly amused as he watched the tableau.
"I'm fairly certain that isn't how those songs go. And isn't that polka?"
"Never heard of Weird Al? Bit bigger overseas, I s'pose." He gestured to Anathema's phone, which was supplying the impromptu karaoke party.
Aziraphale nodded, confusion dissolving and leaving just a hint of distaste in its place. "And a different generation, I suppose." He took another sip of his wine, a nice Syrah, as the melody shifted to a new and equally abrasive polka.
"I wear your granddad's clothes," the millennials continued singing, until one of them glanced at Aziraphale and started laughing and the other followed suit, wineglass held out in an attempt to insulate it from deep belly laughs. Crowley snagged it deftly and set it on the table, another drop of wine rolling down to stain the paper there. Aziraphale rolled his eyes, much more amused at their drunken good humor than offended.
Crowley patted Aziraphale's thigh. "Want to take the rest of that Syrah back to my room and leave the loverbirds to it?"
"It would still be rather noisy if we stayed here," Aziraphale replied with a tempting smile. "Why don't you come back to mine?"
Crowley leaned forward eagerly, only a fraction away from jumping up at the unexpected invitation. "Oh?"
"Well, the room may not wind up being quite as nice as the one you got, but I thought for our first night together as a formally promised couple..." Aziraphale's smile said everything.
"You're a genius." Crowley kissed his cheek and grabbed Aziraphale's hand to pull him up with him, then firmly refused to let it go despite the challenge of tucking a wine bottle under his arm while juggling a wine glass and his phone.
Aziraphale laughed. "We can take two trips, since you'll want your bag. Did you leave it packed?"
"Like always." Crowley grinned. "Not going to rib on me for that ever again, huh?"
"One occasion of convenience is not worth the wrinkles, my dear," Aziraphale responded with all the primness he could muster around a wide grin.
Crowley laughed and took the opportunity of Aziraphale opening the hotel room door to crowd closer and steal an eager kiss that was just as eagerly given. "You really managed to hold in that you'd gotten us a room all day?"
"I kept the trip secret from you too, didn't I?"
"Age will not wither," Crowley chuckled and nipped Aziraphale's ear. "C'mon, let's see that room. Coming back for pyjamas optional."
The two of them left the hotel suite hand-in-hand, with everything they truly needed already right there with them.
#good omens#good omens fanfiction#bnf au#ineffable husbands#fanfiction of fanfiction#my writing#middle-aged men and their middle-aged-man joy
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Quotes + Mean Girls
associating angsty quotes (and some fluffy ones) to mean girls characters and dynamics, this is definitely longer than it should be and will probably be part 1 of many but anyways. lmk which were your favorites and which ones ruined you :) also shoutout to the cautionary tale discord who saw some of these already and ramble about these characters with me <3
posting under the cut so i don't clog anyone's feeds
Regina
"what a terrible thing to wound someone you really care for - and to do it so unconsciously."
Haruki Murakami
"and when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. what do you call it, freedom or loneliness?"
Charles Bukowski
"i am changing. i am trying to be better. it is slow; it is rough; it is repetitive, but i swear i am."
Abdulsamad S. M.
"i did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. i did not like to be touched because i craved it too much. i wanted to be held very tight so i would not break."
Marya Hornbacher
"i was not a loveable child, and i'd grown into a deeply unlovable adult. draw a picture of my soul, and it'd be a scribble with fangs."
Gillian Flynn
"if only my heart were as cold as i pretend it is, maybe i could get over this."
Jessica Katoff
"i wasn't beautiful anymore. now i looked like what i was, a raw wound."
Janet Fitch
"i'm restless and harsh and despairing. although i do have love inside me. i just don't know how to use love. sometimes it tears at my flesh, like barbs."
Clarice Lispector
"i did not mean to be cruel. i swear i am good, i am good, i am kind. i have love inside me. some place far far away."
unknown
Cady
"how much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else, before its some kind of murder?"
Richard Siken
"your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing."
Dyodor Dosteovsky
"what and how much had i lost by trying to do only what was expected of me instead of what i myself wished to do?"
Ralph Ellison
"my god, my god, whose performance am i watching? how many people am i? who am i? what is this space between myself and myself?"
Fernando Pessoa
"it was good for a while, being empty. i didn't hurt anymore. but as time went on, it was like i could hear myself from far away, begging for permission to come back."
Myra McEntire
"is it better to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured?"
Friedrich Nietzsche
"who's the real you? the person who did something awful, or the one who's horrified by the awful thing you did? is one part of you allowed to forgive the other?"
Rebecca Stead
"you're a mess of good intentions gone wrong. you strike a match on yourself to keep others warm, and now the whole goddamn world's on fire. you try to put it out, and you try so hard. the dam breaks, and the waters of your sorrow pour free. you are sorry; so very, very sorrow - and you will drown everyone to prove it."
unknown
Janis
"there are times when i am convinced i am unfit for any human relationship."
Franz Kafka
"i am eternally, devastatingly romantic, and i thought people would see it because 'romantic' doesn't mean 'sugary'. it's dark and tormented - the furor of passion, the despair of an idealism that you cannot attain."
Catherine Breillat
"but whatever came, she had resolved never again to belong to another than herself."
Kate Chopin
"there were two reasons i was scared to let people in; the damage they could do, and the damage they could find."
Chris McGeown
"perhaps its good for one to suffer. can an artist do anything if he's happy? would he ever want to do anything? what is art, after all, but a protest against the horrible inclemency of life?"
Aldous Huxley
Gretchen
"i want so obviously, so desperately to be loved, and to be capable of love."
Sylvia Plath
"she wanted to say 'don't leave me', but she couldn't do it, not again. she was so tired of begging people to love her."
Kristin Hannah
"he is charmingly telling me how much he does not love me...and i, - listening to him carefully, - am approving it."
Marina Tsvetaeva
"she's gonna forever say 'i got this' even with tears in her eyes."
unknown
"still there is this terrible desire to be loved. still, there is this horror at being left behind."
Michael Cunningham
"can you understand me? someone, somewhere, can you understand me a little, love me a little?"
Sylvia Plath
"i am trying to make myself digestible. i am trying to make myself easy to love."
I.B. Vyache
"do you think it is possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return?"
Tyler Knott Gregson
Karen
"the sensitive suffer more; but they love more, and dream more."
Augusto Cury
"a lot of people tell me i'm a bit dreamy. but i like the idea of that. of being somewhere else."
Alam
"you cannot make everyone think and feel as deeply as you do. this is your tragedy, because you understand them but they do not understand you."
Daniel Saint
Regina and Janis
"the bear loved the deer, it was obvious. it ripped the deer's throat out, and then licked the dying deer with the most passionate affection. i thought of you and me."
David Cronenberg
"can you hate someone for what they have done, but still love them for whom they had been?"
Jodi Picoult
"love isn't soft, like those poets say. love has teeth which bite and the wounds never close."
Stephen King
"i love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul."
Pablo Neruda
"they will hook me up to a polygraph and ask me if i love you and i will say no but the needle will jump and sputter exactly how you laugh."
unknown
"there's a sickening feeling of familiarity, when the wrong person knows you too well and you know them too well. and they weren't always the wrong person."
unknown
"we don't mean to hurt each other, but we do. and perhaps no matter how right we are for each other, we'll always be a little wrong."
Beau Taplin
Regina and Cady
"i am intense darkness and you are a golden sunrise."
Arijit Singh and Pritam
"even before you touched me, i belonged to you; all you had to do was look at me."
unknown
"whether you come as a lover or an executioner, i am ready to receive you."
Agustin Gomez-Arcos
"for the longest time, i saw myself as a bad person. you don't know how much it meant to me when you looked at me and could see the good."
unknown
"but i have seen the best of you and the worst of you, and i choose both."
Sarah Kay
"i promised myself i would never fall in love with you. but it was 4 am, and we were laughing way too hard, and i felt happy for the first time in a long time, and i knew i was screwed."
unknown
Gretchen and Karen
"i would rather be with you - even the you that you seem to think is diminished - than with anyone else in the world."
Jojo Moyes
"it hurts, he realizes, to love someone who can't love themselves. like watching a work of art set itself on fire."
unknown
"how amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head."
Nina LaCour
"come love, make me better than i was. come teach me a kinder way to say my own name."
Andrea Gibson
"i wanted you to see a mess and still find me worthy of love, to tell me that you could still love me anyway."
Georges Bataille
"sometimes, love is as simple as watching the moon and sometimes its as difficult as counting the stars. but i love doing both for you."
unknown
Janis and Damian
"you may be born into a family, but you walk into friendships. some you'll discover you should put behind you. others are worth every risk."
Adam Silvera
Regina and Gretchen
"but i am very homesick for arms that have never held me."
unknown
"i burned so long so quiet you must have wondered if i loved you back. i did, i did, i do."
Annelyse Gelman
"so i wait for you like a lonely house till you will see me again and live in me. till then my windows ache."
Pablo Neruda
"how do you tell someone that the reason you're sad is because you love them?"
unknown
#this is so much longer than i thought it would be im sorry#it really did get away from me#respond with more! or your favorites from this! interact however you want and ill love you <3#anyways im definitely normal about mg#mean girls#mean girls 2024#mean girls musical#mean girls 2004#regina george#gretchen weiners#karen shetty#karen smith#janis ian#janis imi'ike#janis sarkisian#cady heron#rejanis#cadina#fetchen#katchen#renee rapp
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DILF Luke headcanons / story draft pt. 2
🌹modern day AU🌹
A/N: Guess who's back with more dilf Luke content!🤠 Thank you SO so much for liking the first part as much as you did🫶🏻 I hope you'll enjoy this second part as well!
part 1, part 3, part 4, part 5
• his possessiveness isn't something he allows to be seen on the outside
• he is aware that he has no right to call you his own, even though he desperately wants to
• but you're so much younger than he is and, above all, have grown to become his child's best friend
• he does not want to take you away from them
• nor does he want to cause an awkward situation that might threaten to break your friendship
• and while objectively speaking all three of you are adults, he still views himself as the one that should be the most responsible
• this however won't stop him from thinking about you basically every minute of the day
• maybe he can't have you but nobody said anything about not buying you little presents here and there and offering his help whenever he can
• he wholeheartedly enjoys the way you are unable to hide your blush of excitement when he surprises you with a pretty necklace or a new pair of earrings
• he loves to hear your weak little protests and how easily he can make them fizzle out with a soft smile and the gentle promise that no, it wasn't expensive at all
• no, he isn't just getting you things out of the blue
• just take a look at the calendar, soon it's Christmas!
• soon it's your birthday!
• it's the beginning of summer!
• you have known each other for a year now!
• he always finds a reason
• of course you make sure to always wear his gifts too, they're beautiful and well chosen, matching your style perfectly
• oh how his heart sings whenever he can be a witness to it
• everyone is supposed to see and know that he was the one who got them for you
• it's his secret way of claiming you, of making sure to tell everyone else that you're taken, that someone already has their eyes on you
• if it wasn't for your lovely smell he would have liked to buy you a perfume to wear as well
• meanwhile you are absolutely clueless and think nothing of it, surely he's just being extra nice because he's finally used to your presence in his household?
• maybe he wants to make up for how he acted before?
• similarly your friend doesn't think it's weird either, after all that's just how he is, you know?
• he cares so much for the people in his live and of course he'd eventually come around to liking you a lot too
• after all, how could he not? You're around his house most of your free time
• secretly you are a little bit disappointed
• it may be foolish to hope for your friend's father to have taken an interest in you but your heart isn't interested in common sense
• I think you'd struggle admitting to yourself that you have a crush though
• he's your friend's father
• how would this work anyways?
• nevertheless your attraction stays
• it's the only thing you don't dare to talk to your friend about
• in your day dreams you fantasize about his big hand resting on your thigh while he drives and find yourself wishing for it to travel just a little bit higher
• you feel giddy with barely concealed nervousness whenever he touches you, hoping that this time he will make a move
• he never does
• and never does his touch find you outside of his car
• See? This gesture is altogether innocent, you tell yourself
• after all he never comes this close to you in any other situation and yet...
• "oh, he's being such a dad!", your friend says when you ask them about it
• "he keeps his hand near me as well so he can easily catch me when he needs to abruptly hit the brakes"
• and they're right, Luke does indeed reach out with his right arm to stabilize your upper body whenever he slows down the car
• still, his hand isn't just conveniently near to do so, it's literally on you during the whole ride
• maybe you've failed to mention that exact fact to your friend though
• you are conflicted and confused and eventually, despite your stupid heart insisting to speed up whenever you see him, decide to let it go
• from an outside perspective nothing about your relationship changes
• you continue to spend much of your free time with your friend
• their father further upholds his offer and drives you home at night
• every time, without fail, does he hold on to you
• and despite this going on for a long while you are none the wiser
• you are still uncapable to read his emotions
• you have not the slightest of clues about what goes on inside of him
• you remain in the dark about his past
• in many aspects he is more of a mystery to you now than he used to be when all you knew was his name
• yes, his demeanor has softened towards you
• but regardless there are certain moments in which you catch yourself being slightly frightened of him
• just like at the beginning
• your friend never mentions the peculiarities he puts on display and so you keep silent as well
• not seldomly does he get a call from work during dinner and while he always leaves the room, too polite to answer the phone at the table, you still are able to overhear how sharp and commanding his voice turns
• you seriously struggle to meet his gaze when he returns after
• sometimes during car rides, you try to make small talk
• you always mean well
• you want to pick up a topic you had earlier that day or to ask about a recipe he made for you and your friend
• maybe this way you'd get him to spend more time with you?
• but often his grip will grow hard enough to bruise
• it catches you off guard every time and when you squeak in pain he throws you a quick sideway glance, loosening his hand immediately
• he never speaks nor lets go of you completely, although his thumb will be rubbing soothing circles into your leg in silent apology
• should you try to initiative a conversation again after, he might answer; though in such a clipped way it shuts you up soon enough
• more often he'll simply shake his head, asking you to remain silent
• the first time you spend a night at your friend's house you feel as if there were a pair of hungry eyes watching your every move
• there is absolutely no reason for anybody to do so though, and nobody around that would have a reason to anyways
• and yet...
• of course you wouldn't mind Luke noticing the pretty top you chose to wear, the one who's neckline goes just a little bit lower than usual
• though unfortunately he seems to be very distracted and never looks your way
• so you simply strike it up to be your nerves and lively imagination; staying in a foreign place is always exciting after all
• staying with a handsome older man even more so
• as a matter of fact, however, Luke's eyes never leave you and as it gets late it takes all he has to restrain himself from snatching you away and dragging you to his own room
• you're lovely on a normal day but look absolutely ravishing in your soft pajamas
• the knowledge you won't be far away for a whole night being all too tantalizing
• maybe you are wearing short pants and so there are some faint bruises visible around your left knee
• ironically you're not aware of their existence, yet it's one of the first things Luke catches sight of and it makes him feel some kind of way
• not only are you wearing his necklace but clearly showing off what he did to you as well
• he likes it a lot, even though not the way in which they came to be
• so while you're contemplating slight paranoia he eventually has to remove himself from your immediate vicinity
• it's not becoming to lust after a young woman during late night dinner
• and the fact that you are afraid to get lost in unknown rooms in the dark doesn't help either
• your friend thinks it's hilarious and discusses it at length
• "the house won't swallow you whole because you take a wrong turn once"
• "it's only a little portion of the rooms you haven't been to yet, stop worrying!"
• "you're not prone to sleepwalking why and how would you even end up there?"
• good humoredly Luke laughs along at his kid's and your bickering but has to discreetly change his seating
• his pants grow uncomfortably tight at the thought of you accidentally walking into his bedroom
• he knows he doesn't have the strength not to make a move
• suddenly he sees himself demanding a kiss or making you beg to let you leave again
• he has to excuse himself early
• your friend and you are listening to a voice message some random guy from university/your job sent you, their father is in hearing distance but you think nothing of it
• innocently and rather excited you start talking and giggling about it, you can't believe he asked you out!
• when all of a sudden Luke gets up and leaves abruptly without a word
• you freeze and are immediately upset
• did you do something wrong? Maybe used a word or expression he didn't like? Is he angry?
• your friend just shrugs their shoulders and continues as if nothing happened but you can't stop thinking about the cold gaze he threw your way
• for the first time since meeting him he doesn't say goodbye or offers a drive home when you have to leave
• later your parents ask why your face is stained with tears, yet you can't give them an answer
• little do you know his anger was not directed at you but at the little boy who dared to show his interest in you
• he didn't even mean to listen and now has only himself to fault for the raging jealousy raising its ugly head
• additionally he's furious and ashamed at himself for his feelings
• his usually endless patience simply vanished into thin air at the prospect of another getting the chance he's been dreaming about for over a year
• he's acting like a teenager and he hates it
• he desperately needed to rein himself back in, he needed air
• and so he made a run for it, afraid to accidentally leave his anger out on you
• had he known what his disappearance caused, he would have acted differently
• you never went out with the guy who sent the message
• you are hesitant to return after what happened, despite your longing to go back and somehow fix your mistake
• whatever its is you did, you have the urge to throw yourself down at his feet and ask for forgiveness
• you don't even care for what you would be apologizing
• you could text him if course, he gave you his number, remember?
• but you don't dare to
• your friend repeatedly assures you that everything is fine and keeps passing on their father's greetings and inquiries about your person
• nobody is mad at you and least of all him
• so eventually you give in, despite feeling quite anxious about it
• to make it worse you receive a message when you arrive that your friend is still stuck in traffic and that it might take them a while
• "my dad will let you in though, no worries"
• all of a sudden you feel very much like your lungs stopped working, you are panicking and seriously consider turning around to leave
• but of course Luke knows you are coming and of course he knows the exact time as well
• he has opened the door before you can fully make up your mind on whether to wait outside or to ring the doorbell
• your words fail you
• just the sight of him makes your heart soar
• he greets you nicely enough and asks you to come in
• "it's great to see you again, it's been a while"
• however it's not like it used to be before
• something feels different
• and quickly you realize: parts of his walls came back up
• the realization chokes you
• Luke senses you're upset and despite vowing to keep his distance once and for all can't hold back from asking if everything is okay
• of course it's not
• and the way his gaze softens into familiarity is too much for you to take
• you leave to go home without waiting for your friend, instead telling them you were feeling quite ill all of a sudden
• it's not even a lie
• Luke knows exactly what just happened but forces himself to remain firm; it's for the best
• sadly I think this would put a strain on the relationship with your friend too
• you don't exactly grow apart, you're too close for that, but of course they realize there's something going on and your decision not to talk to them about it hurts their feelings
• don't you trust them anymore?
• it's during a dark autumn afternoon that you're caught by a seemingly endless downpour
• you're far from home, you don't have the money to call for a taxi and all your trains got delayed
• you think about your friend; they live near
• but you also know they aren't home, as they're currently visiting family in another part of the country
• their dad however...
• he said to call him whenever, you remember
• but what if he doesn't pick up? What if he doesn't want to see you again?
• maybe he's more willing to help when you're standing in front of him?
• despite your anxiety you have no other choice and so decide to check if he's home
• it's still pouring when you arrive and by now you're soaking wet
• Luke isn't home, probably still at work
• pressing close to the front door you sit down on the steps, trying your best to stay out of the rain
• by the time you see the headlights of Luke's car you start crying from relief
• there is not a single patch of your clothes that remained dry and you're more than freezing cold
• your teeth are chattering and you struggle to move your fingers, let alone your legs
• you hear the car door slam shut and then his steps on the path leading up to you
• he's wearing a black suit
• (this is important because even in your horrible state you are aware how absolutely hot he looks)
• when he spots your huddled together shivering form, he's momentarily at a loss for words
• still crying you raise your eyes to look up at him and for a few short seconds you're afraid he doesn't recognize you
• then his face drops
• he reaches for you, and holding you close, unlocks the door to let you in
• now able to take a proper look, his eyes travel up and down your body while he rids himself of his jacket and runs his hand through his wet hair
• it's like you can see the gears in his brain switching as he draws himself up to his full height
• when he speaks it's in such a stern tone that you can't help but wince
• his following orders are sharp and you have to RUN to follow him as he basically drags you upstairs to the master bathroom
• he tells you to undress as he's already turning on the shower for you
• he's not asking, he's commanding
• "Yes, Mr. Skywalker"
• you're so caught off guard you oblige as fast as you can
• no longer do you dare to call him by his first name
• when he sees you struggling with your frozen limbs, he helps pulling your soaked sweater over your head and assists you in getting out of your jeans before leaving you to yourself
• he informs you he'll be waiting outside
• once you are done he immediately is all over you again
• he tells you exactly what he wants you to wear, puts a pair of extra thick woolen socks on your feet and swaddles you in a blanket like a burrito
• only when you're so tightly wrapped up that you're basically unable to move, does he seem to calm down
• he places you on the big sofa in the living room and makes you a tea
• he towels off your hair while you drink it
• he takes your face in his hands and asks if you're okay
• you nod and then he goes OFF, pacing back and forth in front of you while giving you the lecture of a lifetime
• what in God's name were you thinking to not immediately call him? He would've left work early!
• you could've died walking through this weather by yourself, look at you, you're still shivering!
• you weren't dressed appropriately whatsoever! A car could've run you over, they wouldn't have seen you at all!
• under no circumstances is he allowing you to go home tonight, you're staying here where he can have an eye on you!
• his voice is getting louder with every sentence and then you're crying again
• it takes him a moment to catch himself but then he apologizes
• he asks if you would like to call your parents and hands you back your phone when you nod
• still sniffling you comply
• he remains next to you, listening in closely and throws you a stern look whenever you try to leave something out
• you know he expects you to tell them that you're staying the night too, so you do
• he softens and tells you how good you did once you hang up
• he cooks dinner and insists for you to eat even when you tell him you're not hungry
• he makes you another tea after
• "are you warm enough?"
• there is a lot you want to ask him about but hopefully it can wait for tomorrow
• he offers to accompany you to his child's room so you can go to sleep
• you shyly tell him you'd rather stay downstairs with him, maybe you could watch some TV together?
• after a moment he agrees
• you really wish he'd change out of his work clothes, it's more than distracting
#luke skywalker#luke skywalker x reader#luke skywalker x you#luke star wars#star wars#dilf luke skywalker#dilf luke#star wars fanfiction#star wars headcanons#star wars a new hope#star wars empire strikes back#star wars return of the jedi#fanfic#star wars fandom
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weak hero class 1 rant because it’s 4am and im in my feelings and idk how else to deal with them *cracks knuckles* please don’t expect me to be coherent
it’s because of a twitter thread i made and i just wanted to elaborate more
if you didn’t click the link here’s what i said “this montage gets me every time because you realize sooho’s bright personality hid the fact that he was just as alone as sieun was, always sleeping at school for working part-time a lot, probably the reason why he had no friends, also refers to himself as the hyung with his peers. then the montage sequence ends with sieun being considerate, not turning the lights on like he did before and studying in the dark to not disturb sleeping sooho. the same day sieun wakes him up to have lunch together and they unexpectedly click.. in a way it was a friendship built from understanding how differently they lived but also similarly alone, and having each other made their lives a little brighter and i think that’s beautiful.”
also this hyunwook interview..
—
i can’t seem to stop overthinking about the little detail that sooho refers to himself as the hyung (형 - older brother) with his same-aged peers (동갑). in korea, age is a huge deal and it dictates most of their social cues, who to respect and how much respect is given. and i can just imagine how arrogant his peers might find him for referring to himself as the hyung, it’s like he acts all high and mighty amongst them.
am not puting all clips of him doing this but i remember the incident with baseball kids in the first ep he told them to bring the passed out dude to the nurse’s office and said “형이 이름 말하면 뒤진다,” literally means “if you say hyung’s (my) name, you’re dead.” (and they aren’t even his same-aged friends because someone murmured “but we’re older than him..” still, they’re high schoolers all the same) in ep 2 “형이라고 부르고싶냐?” literally means “do you wanna call me hyung now?” (or “do you wanna give me respect now?”) in ep 3 while playing pool he said “형이 하는거 잘 봐라,” literally means “watch carefully how hyung does (i do) it.”
[edit: i remembered another instance. in ep 1, yeongbin’s group bothering sieun again in the classroom. sooho was disturbed from his sleep, “why are guys so chatty these days? 형 잠도 못 자게. 형 자도 돼? 응?” literally goes “hyung (i) can’t even sleep (with u mfs being loud). can hyung (i) sleep? hmm?” official subs: “someone’s trying to sleep here. can i sleep in peace? please?”]
i think he does it because he knows he was forced to grow up fast due to his living situation, and in his eyes this made his same-aged peers /more/ childlike(?) and immature compared to him, who’s already grown up and has adult big boy responsibilities to worry about than silly little exams and high school social hierarchy. he’s extroverted and has a sunshine personality, blunt and honest to anyone he talks to. he always knows what to say to kids his age to feel shame for the bullshit they pull. even with older people, the baseball kids, to gilsu “나이 먹고 그게 자랑이야?”
so yeah sleeping a lot at school due to working part-time for hours may have contributed to him not having friends (hello he follows like 5 people in instagram, such a skinny ratio with his 1k+ followers) but also he probably found it hard to relate and saw no reason to put effort in hanging out with them outside inevitable campus interactions. until sieun. sieun who sooho calls a weirdo, who’s really interesting, whose eyes say how empty he must feel inside but you can see the fire in them. sooho probably thought sieun would never initiate a conversation with him but he did approach him for lunch that one time. and finds himself enjoying the company. now he grew to love showing sieun that there’s more to life than studying hard and preparing for college. it’s all mundane things, eating, gaming, karaokeing, playing pool, “let’s drive all night long,” friendship and the kind of company that their families and other people couldn’t give.
sooho’s all sun and bright but he hasn’t found his person until sieun came along. both of them were very self-sacrificial, ready to risk it all and harm anyone to protect each other. i might just forever ache for sooho ending up on his deathbed after going apeshit seeing sieun hide the injury he got on sooho’s behalf.. and sieun throwing away his whole future when he went and hurt everyone who did that to sooho..
it hits different after i read the equivalent chapters in the webtoon because the suho-sieun-focused friendship story was prolonged for the drama adaptation. sooho was kinda not that interesting in the webtoon so i loved everything they changed and added for his character in the drama. but also like im upset because now im endlessly attached to him.. [edit: in case i piss off webtoon!suho lovers, it’s a personal preference. i love him too but i just cant help but be more emotionally attached to drama!suho] like fuck why did they have to write such a tragic friendship story between highschoolers im fucking done
end of rant ugh i hate myself for this
#weak hero class 1#kdrama#yeon sieun#ahn sooho#ahn suho#mine#sorry for any mistakes english is my second language and korean is my fourth language im still learning it
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Girlie we need education pt.3 I’m begging 💳💥💳💥💳💥💳💥
Well, you know I can’t say no to you. So, here it is.
Lesson #3: Pain is NOT the opposite of Pleasure
Warning: smut
—-
Amelia paused at the restaurant door for a moment trying to find the courage to go in there. Her clammy hands reached for the door handle. She focused her vision on the “pull” sign, trying to stay calm. Ever since the last time that she and Matty slept together, she’d tried her best to avoid him. It wasn’t too difficult. Mostly because he’d been traveling around the country, doing interviews and promoting the band, appearing on radio shows and in magazine articles. So, it didn’t take a lot of effort to not be around him. But he was back now, and she had to see him and be around him all night. She told herself that she didn’t care; that he’d made his feelings quite clear, and that she’s an adult who can handle rejection. He’d drawn his boundary and she has to respect it. But, for some reason that she couldn’t quite articulate, she’d chosen to wear this dress for him. And now that she was about to walk into the restaurant, she felt foolish about it.
She took a deep breath. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. Just have a good time. The boys are gonna be there. It’s gonna be fine.
She walked in, squeezing through the group of people waiting for a table at the front, and looking around for her people. She spotted George by his tall figure and bright hair. He’d brought Charli along, too. Jamie was there. Dan, Ross and Adam, a couple of people from the label, and, of course, Matty.
“Hey guys” she made a general greeting, everyone at the table turning towards her.
She made a deliberate choice not to look in Matty’s direction. First win of the night. So, she didn’t notice that he’d gotten up from his seat to get her a chair and set it next to his. She sat at the other end of the table, next to George.
Dinner seemed to go smoothly. In fact, for brief moments, whenever she was talking to Adam about his baby, or to Charli about her work, she’d almost forget that she was sitting a few steps away from Matty. Or that she’s supposed to be putting on a nonchalant act. Inevitably, though, she would find herself glancing in his direction every time she heard him speaking, or laughing at something that someone else had said. Or leaning over the table to talk to George. She’d hoped to catch him looking at her, but it never happened. She expected herself to be relieved. Not to have to look into his beautiful brown eyes and fake neutrality. But, a piece of her was always disappointed. She hated that about herself. Whether it was desperation or a desire to hurt him the way that he’d hurt her. She didn’t want to be petty and vindictive. But it was hard not to.
“Right, I think it’s time for me to head out.” Jamie spoke, looking around the table. “You two have to be in the offices early tomorrow.” He nodded at George and Matty. Matty downed the last of his drink, setting his now empty glass down and wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. “Mhm.” He nodded.
“So don’t have too much fun tonight.”
“No fun for me, thank you.” Adam said, bowing out. “Gotta get home soon. Dad stuff.”
“Yeah, none for us either.” George added. “Charli has a thing tomorrow. I gotta finish up at the studio and go with her, so I can’t get shitfaced tonight.”
“Wow…are we saying we’re all going home at a reasonable hour?” Ross laughed. “We’ve really gone and grown up , haven’t we?”
Matty’s face dropped. “It would appear that we have, yeah.” He spoke, a hint of regret in his voice.
“I’ll get the tab, then.” Jamie left his seat.
Matty pulled out his phone, scrolling through his texts to find the thread that led to his last hookup. His finger hovered over the last text. He looked up over the table at Amelia, then back down at his phone.
People had started to leave the table and disperse in different directions. He needed to make up his mind quickly. He watched her stand up and hug George goodbye.
He sprung to his feet to catch up with her. He walked behind her as everyone lined up to leave the restaurant. When George and Charli headed off in their own direction, it was now just the two them. He stepped to the front to stand by her side on the pavement, looking straight ahead at the cars as they drove by. “Hey.” He mumbled.
Her heart raced in her chest and she wondered if he could hear it. Slowly, she turned to look at him. He was, as always, perfect.
His curls fell beautifully around his face, his simple black sweater clung to his body, a charming smile lit up his face. He’d been looking healthy lately. It always warmed her heart.
“So….dinner was fun.” He stated, digging into the pocket of his jeans for his cigarettes. “It was, umm, nice to see everyone. We’ve all been doing our own thing for a bit.” He lit his cigarette. “Want one?”
“Nah. When are you gonna quit that disgusting habit anyway?”
His lips curved into a smile, tilting the cigarette to the side. “Hmm….someday?” He shrugged. “You heading home?” He blew the smoke out of his mouth, obscuring her view of his beautiful face.
“Yeah, guess so. You?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “Walk to the station together, then?”
“S-sure.” Just when she thought she’d managed to get through the night without embarrassing herself.
***
“Why’s the train so crowded? Is there some….some political protest or some football game I don’t know about?” She squeezed closer to him to make room for the flood of people getting on behind her.
Matty shrugged. “Wouldn’t know. I’ve been so disconnected from the news, lately.”
“Probably should’ve just got an Uber.” She muttered under her breath, looking behind her at the packed car. No seats whatsoever.
“Wanna just….get off at the next stop?”
“Umm, no, no. It’s fine.” She sighed.
It was decidedly not fine. Every time the train had to pause in the tunnels or come to an abrupt stop, the standing passengers lost balance. Herself included. The first couple of times, Matty steadied her with his firm grip, making sure she doesn’t fall. Then, she clung to his arm a few times, looking up at him and trying not to sweat at the sight of his pink lips so close to her face. Eventually, and she has no idea how, Matty had wrapped his arm around her, holding her close to him as his other hand held on to the metal poll in the center of the car. Keeping them both balanced. She could smell his cologne. The drink he’d had. The cigarette he’d smoked. She could feel his soft sweater against her cheek. She knew he could see her face, which, no doubt, betrayed all her secrets.
Matty’s eyes weren’t on her face, though. He was looking somewhere further down. At the way the cut of the dress highlighted her breasts. Or was it the bra that did it? He didn’t care much for that how. She glanced up at him, catching him looking. “Umm…you, look- nice dress.”
She smiled. Men can be so blind sometimes. “Thanks.”
“Is it new?”
“This? No. Not at all.”
“Well, umm” he felt his mouth go dry. “It’s - n-nice.”
***
“So, umm, that’s my stop coming up.” She loosened her grip on his chest, moving away to get closer to the door.
“Right, yeah. Have a good night, I guess….” Matty’s lips parted again, the look in his eyes felt serious, but as the automatic doors opened, she looked back, and he was silent. Letting her walk out onto the platform.
On the streets, she felt her body shake as she sprinted towards her home. She didn’t think she could take another second in that train, packed like sardines with him so close to her. Looking, smelling, and sounding so good.
Over the echo of her own footsteps, she could still hear his voice faintly in her ear. The way he’d smile when she would turn to look at him. The way he’d say her name…
“Amelia!! Yo! Waiiiit! Amelia! For fucks sakesss!!”
She turned around. She wasn’t imagining things. In the distance, she saw Matty running towards her.
“Finally! Is this how you normally walk or are you in hurry for something?”
“W-what are you…” she looked down at her waist to check that her purse was still attached to her. Has she forgotten something? Her phone maybe?
“I- umm, it’s late. You shouldn’t be walking home alone in the dark.”
She frowned. “Since when are you….such a gentleman?”
“It’s not about bein’ a gentleman. It’s purely about safety. Have you read the statistics lately?” He was feeling his confidence act begin to crumble, so he looked ahead, beginning to walk again.
“No, have you?”
“A man can’t walk his friend to her door safely without an interrogation now? What a sad world we live in.”
She giggled, shaking her head. “Well, thanks, Matty.”
They walked in silence for a while. Each of them desperately trying to think of something to say to the other without making things more awkward than the silence.
“So,” she spoke, smiling playfully. “Would you, like, fight off gangs for me? Robbers? Do you have a ninja knife or something hidden in your back pocket?” She laughed.
“Fuck off.” He rolled his eyes. “I’ll have you know, I’m very strong now!” He flexed his arm, pretending to show off. Or maybe a small piece of him wanted to show off.
“Yeah, I- I’ve noticed.” She cursed herself in her head as soon as the words slipped her lips. She was losing the upper hand her. God. She hated those kind-games. Those conversations they’re having in order to say what they can’t say. What they won’t say. Trying to communicate without actually communicating. She found that shit exhausting. She was never any good at acting cool and collected. And in this case, she didn’t want to be. She wishes she could just…talk to him.
“You’ve noticed, huh?” Matty raised an eyebrow, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.
“Oh, got over yourself, Matty.” She rolled her eyes. “I mean, like, I noticed in the way that…you know- people notice. If your friend gets a haircut or loses or gains weight or whatever. People notice, okay!” Nope. She’d overdone it. By, like, a lot.
Matty watched her face contort itself in embarrassment, laughing softly.
“Shut up.”
“What? I haven’t said anything.”
“Well, don’t.”
“Whatever you say, Amelia.”
***
“You wanna come inside?” She turned to face him, fumbling with her keys.
“I mean, sure, if- you’d like me to. If it’s not too late.”
“I believe the conduct manuals say that when a gentleman risks his life to walk a lady home, etiquette dictates that she must offer him a nightcap.”
“Well…if that’s what the manuals say… wouldn’t mind a glass of wine, actually.
***
“How’re you doing with- uhh- our lessons.” He felt sleazy just saying it.
She set her glass down to avoid looking surprised by his question. “W-what do you mean- I- what?”
“I mean have you been practicing? Sucked anyone off yet?”
“What the fuck is that matter with you!” She shoved his arm lightly, mentally noticing that, he has, indeed, grown some muscles.
“What?” He giggled. “Just inquiring about your progress.”
“No, I haven’t. Yet.” She folded her legs, sinking back into the couch. “Have…you?”
“Haven’t had the time. But I’m free tonight….if you wanna brush up on some stuff.”
“I see. So the gentleman act has ended. Alright.”
***
In the dim light of her bedroom, she stood by the foot of the bed, with Matty towering over her.
For the second time tonight, she found herself unable to take her eyes off his lips. “Friends don’t kiss, friends don’t kiss, friends don’t kiss…” she repeated the mantra over and over in her head until Matty’s head dipped down and he kissed her, crashing his lips against hers with just a little bit of force, his hands holding onto her hips.
When he pulled away, her hand reflexively flew to her lips, as if grabbing at the lingering feeling of his mouth. She was utterly speechless.
Matty stepped away for a moment, taking off his sweater.
She mumbled a curse when she saw his shirtless chest.
“Pardon?” He turned to look at her and smiled knowingly when he saw her eyes wide open.
In the back of her mind, she wondered if she’s ever seen him naked before, or if she’d simply never noticed that he was this attractive.
“Oi! Eyes are up here.” He joked.
She was too overwhelmed to think of a clever comeback. His silence alarmed him.
“Hey, Mia, you alright?” His thumb and index finger touched her cheek.
“If you’ve had a change of heart, we don’t have to.”
“It’s umm, it’s been years since you’ve called me ‘Mia.’” She whispered.
“Has it?”
What did it mean? Why did he suddenly bring that nickname back? Was he trying to tell her something? Does he genuinely not remember? “No, I’m fine. I wanna do this.”
“You sure?” He tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear.
“Y-yeah. Umm. Yeah I’m positive.”
“Alright, then. May I undress you now?” He looked into her eyes, smiling.
“I - can-“ her hand grabbed searched behind her back for a zipper.
“No, no. Please. Let me.” He walked around in a semi circle to stand behind her. “This gorgeous dress? want to peel it off your body myself.”
She felt her cheeks burn up. Perhaps this dress was the right idea after all.
Matty gently pushed her hair to one side of her neck to find her zipper, causing her skin to prickle with goosebumps. His lips kissed the bottom of her neck where it meets her shoulder softly. Her eyes fluttered shut. Her breath getting caught in her throat.
But the kiss ended a bit too quickly for her liking, she heard the zipper travel down her body and felt the dress loosen around her, dropping in a pool at her ankles.
Matty bent down to pick it up. “Step out for me…good girl.”
Shit. They’d barely done anything yet and she was already desperate for him.
With the backs of her knees against the bed, Matty dropped to his knees running a finger over her clothed crotch and making her gasp.
“Matty-“
“Let me start by reminding you of the last thing we did.” She saw a faint smile on his lips before her eyes closed and she melted at his touch again.
“Already wet?” He clicked his tongue. “Needy, baby.”
She let the slightly embarrassment wash over her. Driven away by the waves of pleasure that his expert fingers were giving her.
“Right. Take these off for me.” He tapped her hip, snapping out of the blur she’d fallen into.
She did as he said, eager to get his hands back on her as quickly as possible.
Silently, Matty took both her wrists, placing her hands on each of his shoulders. “Hold on tight, yeah?”
She nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Okay.” Almost moaning.
His lips wasted no time finding her center. She almost yelped at the feeling of his tongue licking into her. She felt his hot breath against her as he let out a small giggle at her reaction. This wasn’t just fun for her. He was taking delight in the way he made her feel.
“Matty- oh! My god…”
It seemed he’d already memorized all the perfect motions and spots that got her going from last time. It was like he knew exactly what to do and when to do it.
“Fuck! Matty- I’m- ah, if you don’t- s-stop, I’m gonna-“ without thinking, or intending to, her hands found his hair, pulling harshly and moving his mouth away from her.
“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry. I didn’t- I didn’t mean to. Umm… are you okay?”
Matty laughed, shaking his head. “Don’t apologize. It’s fine.”
“No it’s not, I practically took off a chunk of your gorgeous hair. It must’ve hurt!”
“Yeah, but, I liked it.”
“You…did?”
“Yeah, yeah. Pain and pleasure….mix well sometimes.”
He could see by the confusion in her eyes that she’d never felt that particular mixture. “You’ll see.” He winked.
Was that a threat? A dare? A preview of things to come?
He placed a small kiss to her wet cunt, to give her a little tingle, causing her to lose balance and lean on the bed behind her.
Matty crawled into the bed, hovering on top of her. “See, that’s why I said to hold tight.”
“S-sorry.” She whispered, feeling small as she looked into his eyes above her, his curls dangling and creating a bit of shade over both of them.
“It’s alright. Kinda ready myself. If…you are? Wanna keep going?”
“Mhm…condom?”
He reached into the back pocket of his jeans, pulling his wallet out. “Got it.”
As she watched him unbuckle his jeans. the thought that they were about to have sex kept running through her head. She waiting for it to be weird. To be surreal. For her brain to remind her that Matty’s her friend. Friends have no business getting this intimate. But none of that came to mind. All that she was thinking about is how good he’d finally feel inside her.”
“You good?”
“Yeah, yeah.” She looked into his eyes. “You?”
He smiled. “I’m really great, baby.”
She felt him get closer, then slowly push into her. Her eyes closed reflexively and she held her breath. Matty noticed her whole body stiffen. His own mind struggling to remain focused at the feeling of her around him. “Umm, no, Amelia. Open your eyes for me, please?”
It took her a second to muster the courage, but she did. “That’s better. I promise you, it’s gonna feel so much more pleasurable if you relax, yeah?”
“S-sorry, I-“
“You nervous or something? It’s okay. Trust me. Breathe. Yeah. That’s it. You’re doing so well.”
She hasn’t really thought about to before. That she tended to clam up when a guy thrusted into her. Maybe it was the anticipation. Or the nerves. She just did it without thinking.
Matty pushed the rest of the way into her and let out a moan that surprised her. She’d have thought he was the quiet type.
“Fuck- y’feel so good, Mia.”
His overwhelmed face suddenly disappeared, he looked down at her. “Felt that. Praise girl, huh? Noted.” He laughed.
“Shit!” She felt the knot in her stomach tight as he pushed particularly deep. “Fuck, Matty, I- you’re so- feels good.” He smiled, his own mind hazy with pleasure. “Right, ready to take it up a notch?”
He rested his weight on his forearms, settling into a rhythm with his hips. Leaving her a moaning mess underneath him. Chanting his name, begging for nothing in particular, letting him know how good she feels.
“Cum with me, yeah?”
She nodded, lifting her head off the bed to kiss him.
Matty waited carefully, at what he hoped was just the right moment, he dipped down and lightly bit her shoulder as she unraveled around him causing another wave to hit her, her body trembling around him as her mouth hung open.
She swore she almost blacked out for a second. With Matty placing small kisses all over her neck and body as she came down from the aftershocks.
Slowly, he collapsed on top of her. His thumb reaching for the bite mark on her shoulder and rubbing it soothingly. “See? Told you. Pain isn’t the opposite of pleasure.”
Her blurry eyes fixed on the ceiling, her chest still panting, she ran her fingers through his hair. “Guess not.”
Matty took a deep breath, rolling off of her. “Ready for round two?”
#matty healy fanfiction#matty healy fanfic#matty healy x reader#matty healy x oc#matty healy fic#matty healy oneshot#matty healy smut#matty healy x y/n#matty healy x you
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jelou <3 this is a bit of a sad request :')), headcanons for pomefiore and scarabia when their fem mc tells them about her childhood, where she grew up in a convent/orphanage, but since there were no adults and the priest traveled a lot so from that she was little, mc had to take care of the other children, becoming "the mother of the orphanage" because she took care of everything!, so that they are well cared for and fed~ it's all I'm sorry if I extended ;u; well thanks you *kisses for the chef*
Thank you for the request!
How the Scarabia and Pomefiore boys would react to their S/O telling them their backstory
Notes: Fem! reader, but can be read as gn until Rook's last bullet point(because the only pronoun used is “you”).
☀☀☀
Kalim Al-Asim
☀You grew up without parents? But that's so sad!
☀Puts everything in motion to spoil you rotten.
☀Everything you've ever desired? It's yours now.
☀Finds the orphanage you grew up in and gives it unlimited funds.
☀It's the least he can do for his sunshine.
🐍🐍🐍
Jamil Viper
🐍He knows way too well how it feels to constantly take care of others.
🐍You telling him about it makes him able to open himself up, because since you have similar backgrounds he knows you won't judge him.
🐍Together, you can cope and heal.
🐍When you graduate, he wants to help you offer support and money for the orphanage.
💅💅💅
Vil Schoenheit
💅He couldn't help but pity your old situation.
💅He knows he is lucky to have grown up with enough money to live more than comfortably.
💅He couldn't do anything back then, but he is here to take care of you now.
💅Organises multiple charity events for different orphanages, because no one deserves to go through the same things you did.
🍎🍎🍎
Epel Felmier
🍎Having a huge family, he can't imagine how it feels to grow up without one.
🍎So as soon as the holiday break arrives, he takes you to his hometown.
🍎You're terribly overwhelmed but the homely atmosphere is nice.
🍎His grandmother insists on going to the orphanage to distribute presents.
🍎The children were so excited when you arrived, arms filled with boxes and bags. You wish had experienced the same thing when you were their age. But it's not good to dwell on the past, so you decide to take in the moment to it's fullest.
🏹🏹🏹
Rook Hunt
🏹You are the very proof beauty comes from any place, even the most desolate ones.
🏹Your courage and kindness through your life was one of the things that he loved most in you.
🏹His family has villas all over the world, so pulling a few strings to finance an orphanage is relatively easy.
🏹In some way, he sees it as very romantic, how the princess rose through her kindness and met her prince charming along the way
***
Hope you enjoyed it!
Have a good day/night!
#twisted wonderland#kalim#kalim al asim#jamil#jamil viper#vil#vil schoenheit#epel#epel felmier#rook#rook hunt#kalim x reader#kalim al-asim x reader#jamil x reader#jamil viper x reader#vil x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#epel x reader#epel felmier x reader#rook x reader#rook hunt x reader#f!reader
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Hugs for a Vampire (Astarion x GN!Reader) - Chapter 12: After Entering Baldur’s Gate
Chapter 12: After Entering Baldur’s Gate
Each chapter can be read as a standalone hug.
Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader (Rogue!Tav)
Genre: Fluffy, Filling in Canon
Rating: Teen
Tags: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, POV Second Person, Act 3, Canon-typical violence, Astarion's coping mechanisms
WC: 1k words, 12/18 chapters
Summary: Set in early Act 3, the group finally arrives in the city! Astarion marvels at its sight while slipping into old habits.
Ao3 | [Hug11][Hug13] | Hugs for a Vampire Masterlist
Finally, you’ve made it. Baldur’s Gate– it looks so beautiful in the bright, golden sunlight of the Sword Coast. Your heart swells with joy at the sights, sounds. Somehow, even the various city smells, which might have normally left your nose wrinkling in disgust, are calling you forward.
You turn toward your companions, each Baldurian, each with vastly different experiences of the city. It shows in how they enter it now. Shadowheart has a look of vague recognition on her face, as if she’s piecing together each part of the city into a map she’s not quite familiar with. Karlach’s entire face is lit up, much like when you stumbled upon the circus. You strongly suspect that if she weren’t attached to you all at the hips, she’d have run off into a crowd or tavern to just relish the feeling of being surrounded by people. As for Astarion…
When you finally take in his expression, a lump forms in your throat. His eyes are wide, sweeping across the city in wonder. His expression is so open and vulnerable, you hesitate to break it, yet you can’t pull your gaze away from him. Of course, he notices your staring.
"Gods,” he breathes out, continuing to look around you, past you to the full expanse of the city. You might not have even registered that he was speaking to you except for his occasional glance back at you. “This is the first time in two hundred years that I've seen these streets in the sunlight. You can forget just how much color there is in the world."
The vampire may be speaking to you, but his voice is realms away, the memories of another lifetime, another man unable to hide in the blinding daylight. You’re torn, because he seems to genuinely delight in the colors of the city– however, the underlying sorrow, the wistful regret is unmistakable. For the first time since you’ve learned of Cazador’s profane ritual, you contemplate if any price is too grand to pay for this man’s happiness.
You shoo the thought away as quickly as it comes. There are other ways. There have to be other ways. Instead, you intend to pull him out of this reverie, asking him softly, “Are you alright?”
His reaction is swift, knee-jerk, “Yes, of course.” The moment passes as he adopts an annoyed tone, “ Obviously. Sorry, did you want something?” Again his defensive wall is up, a flippant attitude paving over the subtle cracks of weakness.
You try not to let it bother you, you really do. You remind yourself that a lot of this is new to him, and that which isn’t new comes with a slew of horribly familiar memories. But it still pricks at you, a dull ache blossoms in your chest as you take a shuddering breath. “No, sorry for asking.” The words come out clipped, hurt despite yourself.
As you move to continue onward, you feel the chill of Astarion’s fingers wrapping around your wrist. His eyes are now entirely trained on you, only a smidge of annoyance left as he whispers, “Darling, you don’t constantly need to ask me if I'm alright. I'll have you know, I'm a perfectly grown adult vampire.”
Resisting the urge to turn toward him, to bury yourself in his chest and apologize– for what you’re not entirely sure– you opt instead to whisper back over your shoulder, “I know, but I can't help caring. You know that.”
He produces a small sigh, looks to see both of your companions are distracted by a nearby stall, and smoothly snakes both of his arms around you. Pressing his chest into your back, he leans in to whisper your name in an exhale. “Darling, don’t take this the wrong way, but you are utterly insufferable.”
“I don’t know how else to take that,” you state dryly, continuing to stare forward and cursing your heart for its excited palpitations.
“A term of endearment perhaps?” he questions into your hair. Holding you a bit tighter, he continues, “I… apologize for not appreciating your concern.” The word ‘apologize’ sounds like another language on his leaden tongue, but he manages through it. Much like the time he thanked you, the discomfort is palpable.
Something about it placates your heart, and you grip his arms to your stomach in a loving squeeze. “Thank you. And,” you hesitate, looking down at your linked arms, wondering how you will stand up to this man when push comes to shove. “I’m sorry for pressuring you. I know you’re perfectly capable on your own, I promise.”
He gives a laugh, an airy, happy thing. “Oh, I know, my sweet. You certainly task me with enough grueling work to remind me of that fact daily.”
You nudge him in half-hearted annoyance, but the carefree rhythm to his voice has you smiling to yourself. “If you don’t want more to do, then let go of me. I think Karlach might accidentally set the Stormshore Tabernacle ablaze if we leave her alone too long.”
Astarion releases you with a retort, “It’s made of stone, dear. How in the hells would she manage that?”
“I, for one, would not like to find out,” you say, pulling on one of Astarion’s arms as you chase after your other companions.
With all of the practiced dexterity of a rogue, his arm slips out of your hand, only to be replaced by his hand. You’re a bit surprised, but the feel of his cool palm, his long fingers, is anything but unwelcome. As if it’s the most natural thing in the world, your love intertwines your fingers in his and walks through the city of Baldur’s Gate by your side.
Again, the thought strikes you: what wouldn’t I do for this man’s happiness? You’re left with that burning question unanswered as you catch up with Shadowheart and Karlach.
“Okay everyone, let’s head to the Elfsong. I promised Alfira we’d meet her there. And maybe we can find a few rooms to hole up in while we save the Coast.” You receive a few nods as a response, a gentle squeeze of your hand from Astarion. Your heart is heavy with the number of tasks ahead of you, with the decisions that you’ve yet to make, but hearing Karlach’s occasional happy giggle, seeing Shadowheart’s head bob this way and that, feeling the soft pressure of Astarion’s hand in yours– you’re reminded to stay steady on your path, one foot following another.
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