More on this poem here.

So I've been thinking lately about how Mithrun is Kabru's dark mirror (more on that another time- it needs its own post), and I thought it interesting that one of their parallels is that they were both cared for by Milsiril, but in opposite directions. She took Kabru in as her foster after he was orphaned and tried to convince him not to become an adventurer. On the flip side, she helped rehabilitate Mithrun specifically so that he could rejoin the Canaries.

And I kept wondering: why?

For Kabru, obviously she loves him a whole lot- despite any other shortcomings in their relationship, I do believe that.

So I get why she tries to convince him not to go dungeoning, and, failing that, at least prepares him as thoroughly as she can.

But why help Mithrun? She used to hate Mithrun, but after realizing what a secretly twisted person he was, she actually thought of him more positively (oh, Milsiril). So it wasn't as if she held the kind of grudge that might motivate her to make his already-depleted life even more miserable by sending him back to the dungeons. And it wasn't that she felt bad for him either, since she didn't visit Mithrun for the first ~20 years of his recovery.

The Adventurer's Bible says that Utaya was the impetus for Mithrun returning to the Canaries, but Milsiril is the one who made the trip to see him and tell him about it.

Why would Milsiril work so hard to get her old coworker back into fighting fit? Why encourage him to return to such a dangerous lifestyle, when she was the one who chose not to mercy-kill him?

That last panel is such a crazy thing to hint at and then never elaborate on. Without it we could have just thought that Milsiril wanted the Canaries' work to continue without her, even if it seemed out of character. I think some people even assume she's just a natural caretaker as a foster mom and handwave it to include nursing Mithrun too. What could Milsiril's suspicious motives be? What does she gain from Mithrun joining the Canaries that isn't an altruistic desire to see dungeons safely sealed? Feeling a sense of responsibility for the work she left behind isn't an ulterior motive.

My theory is: Milsiril, knowing that Mithrun was empty save for the burning desire to face the demon again, wound him up like a clockwork doll and pointed him back at the dungeons.

Hoping that he'd eliminate the biggest threat to Kabru's life, before it was too late for him.

Milsiril the puppetmaster.

So the thing that gets me about Starlo — the thing that really gets me — is how much this guy hates himself.

It's not something you notice the first time you're playing, because he's so confident and enthusiastic. He'd almost be cool if he wasn't such a dork. But after replaying the game with the context of where he came from, — and I'll admit, after reading some very interesting, in-depth fanfics and analysis about him, I'll try to link them if I find them again — his character becomes a bit... blurred. How much of this is Starlo, and how much of it is North Star?

Because- because the whole point of his sheriff persona is that he gets to be someone else, isn't it? When he's out there rootin' and tootin', acting out his hero fantasies and trying to imitate the characters from the westerns he admires, he becomes someone much cooler than himself. North Star is everything Starlo wishes he was: the fearless leader, the cunning cowboy, the confident sheriff who saves lives and wrangles bandits and hangs out with humans. Not just some nobody farmer who could disappear in the corn field without anyone noticing, not the son who wastes his time on daydreams.

He craves praise so deeply. That's the big difference between Star and Papyrus, I think, because Papyrus is just so unapologetically himself, while Star... he starts spending more and more time with this mask of greatness he made himself. Because people like North Star. Not Starlo.

North Star is a real sheriff. Not Starlo.

North Star is the one who brings help and hope and fun to monsters. Not Starlo.

North Star is the one worthy of being appreciated. Not Starlo.

And like... he wants to be liked so badly. So much effort is put into making sure North Star is good enough that Starlo tends to assume people hate him. He assumes his parents hate his life choices (they don't; they're proud of him and know he cares), he assumes Clover will laugh at him when he shows his face to them (they don't; despite everything, it's still him), he assumes the reason he fell out with his friends is because he wasn't a good enough sheriff (he knows damn well it wasn't actually Clover's fault, he's not THAT stupid. But he's still desperately grasping at the last pieces of his shattered persona, so if he just works harder, if he does what a real sheriff does and captures this human, then everything will be alright, won't it?)

I really wish we could have gotten more insight on Starlo's relationships and personality before the whole Wild East thing consumed him. Ceroba and the Feisty Five say they miss the old Starlo, but we never really get to know who the old Starlo was. And I don't think he knows either.

Wake the hell up, Star. People started liking you before you were North Star. Go eat some corn and calm down.

Point is, the impostor syndrome goes hard and that's such a mood. He was supposed to be the cool and silly cowboy guy, what the fuck–

Just saw someone who said Malleus couldn't be an introvert because he wants to connect with others???? I'm offended because do you know what an introvert is? In fact, you could say he's a TRUE introvert because introverts are people who cherish their time alone, but do seek the company of others from time to time because they're aware they need it to survive.

Introverts don't necessarily like shallow socializing, but they like forging meaningful connections with the right people-- be it family, a good friend, or a lover. Introverts are just normal people whose social battery runs out fast, so they save it for those they deem special. Some introverts say they "hate" people because it's hard to explain the nuances, and would definitely be hard for non-introverts to understand, but they actually don't.

A common case of people who'd prefer not to meet others because it makes them uncomfortable are those with social anxiety. Not all introverts have this; Idia is an introvert with social anxiety while Malleus is a regular introvert. Idia, despite being a shut-in, actually doesn't hate people because he enjoys spending time with Ortho, co-oping with Lilia online, and playing board games with Azul.

People who honestly, absolutely DESPISE connecting with others? That is either a misanthrope, antisocial, or some other conditions I don't know the words for. Please do not subscribe in the insane notion that Malleus is somehow an extrovert for wanting another good friend or even a romantic interest lol.

Young Teacher Tuvok Patreon | Ko-fi

Not what he had in mind.

Close-ups under the cut! (With some captions because my handwriting is atrocious.)

"You're right! This really is delightful!"

"No, thanks! I'm good! Kinda crowded under there."

(For context, he's using his cape/scarf as shelter from the rain.)

neuvillette is so luna coded if you know what i mean

I HAVE BEEN CONVINCED OF THE LOGINCE AGENDA

Han Jisung on the verge of snapping because someone was getting too close to you and he's a possessive man.

He doesn't have those guns for decoration.

@channieandhisgoonsquad

@moonlightndaydreams

I wish I was more than what I am

Confidence

What does it take to just be Do I sit like this, do I look like that What does it take to just be From the cuts on my wrist to my backwards cap What does it take to just be Do I ball up my fists, do I have to fight back What does it take to just be From the marks on my hips to imperfections and fat What does it take to just be Do I walk in the trap just to get my face slapped What does it take to just be From my eyes now bruised black and the cuts on my back What does it take to just be Do I have to react just to stop the attacks What does it take to just be Me?

~I.S.~

I know lately I've been on my c!Doc bullshit but what's not to like about him:

he's a petty bastard who uses violence when he's mildly unconvinced yet he'd also listen to rants about Disney because he likes hearing him talk about his interests at the same time, he has gay sex with his furry boyfriend, he's fought God and won (at the cost of his arm), he has a pet dragon, he builds world ending machines just to assert his dominance to the point where Xisuma is just "what's Doc doing now ರ⁠╭⁠╮⁠ರ", he was apart of elite boy band NHO /hj, he just gives me vibes of former evil villain who everyone fears and is now the based comedic relief of the group

I hate when you're very sure you're over something, but then you're awake at 4am and clearly Not Over it yet :/

Toxic.

That word seems to come out of your mouth more often when you’re with me. In a way, I agree with you. We are toxic together. We are running in a constant cycle of heartbreak. We spend years building ourselves back up and one moment sends us crawling back to the start line. It is exhausting. We struggle to keep our hands of each other but you have made it very loud and clear that nothing is to come of this. I agree. The truth is, we bring out the worst parts of each other. We are clouded by desire, lust and infatuation. It feels idyllic. So euphoric that I lose my soul in yours. We use our bodies quickly but tread so lightly with our words. There’s an emptiness that comes with you. The silence that you leave me after your lips glide against my skin sends me into a helpless spiral of betrayal. I let you back in too easily. There is guilt attached to our hearts. It follows us around like petty shadows consuming our thoughts and actions. I miss our innocence. This constant cycle will make us both go mad. The worst part is, it’s the kind of madness that keeps us wanting more.