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#and most of my friends are extremely introverted or on anti-depressants. so i dont mind being the one who makes plans
trinitea-fics
·
2 months
Text
I hate when you're very sure you're over something, but then you're awake at 4am and clearly Not Over it yet :/
#something something thinking about how my childhood ex-best friend is the reason i think everyone is gonna leave me eventuality lol
#and i havent thought about them in YEARS
#but the past 8 months it's been bad again
#like. it could justify going back to therapy bad
#and its gotten better. at least i dont hate my birthday anymore like i did though all of high school
#and like. okay it basically stems from how i was the only one who put in effort into maintaining our friendship after
#we went to different high school
#and they would hang out with the other memeber of our friend trio but NEVER would ask me
#and things then slowly fell apart
#and that period of my life was when i was the most depressed and heartbroken
#it's so much better now
#cuz i realized
#“well. i cant stop people from leaving me. the only thing i can do is be a good friend and trust them not to break my heart like ***** did”
#cuz like. im still best friends with my kindergarten bestie. so like
#***** is an outlier and should not be counted
#and most of my friends are extremely introverted or on anti-depressants. so i dont mind being the one who makes plans
#but sometimes its 4am and the thoughts GET TO ME
#sigh sigh sigh
#“***** is an outlier and should not be counted” damn. that actually does help.
#thanks 4am brain <3
#unfortunately its 5am and im too awake now rip
#ive had friends comment over the last year about how much they appreciate the effort i put in
#why can't i just cling onto THAT
#sigh sigh
#it'll get better
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