#and i havent thought about them in YEARS | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bulbabutt · 1 year

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so me n sibling finished rise rewatch with all the newfound turtle lore after our big tmnt media binge......... many feelings i wanna get out

firstable........ how anyone watched this show and didnt think those were the ninja turtles in purest form i will never understand. like you cannot deny any of these characters being the same characters but with new roles to fill. raph is the protector. mikey is the heart. leo is the strategist. donnie is the brain. it just created a new dynamic, but never strayed very far from what came before

second....... take the ninja turtles and just hammer home a story about generational trauma and healing from it, giving them strength from how much they love and trust each other.... you break my heart wide open i am crying

to me they are the best amalgamation of all the turtles who came before them like: silly and sweet like 87, they have this close familial understanding unconditional love like 03, and this overarching story of bringing a family back together like 12

started this watch of all turtle media because rise on its own felt so good, but having gone back and seen all the other pieces i was missing makes me appreciate what it was doing more, because i felt every other series and movie in this one in spirit, but with the ideals of the modern cartoon saying: hey kids, its okay to ask for help, youre not alone, your feelings matter, and the people around you should support you

and on top of that, obviously the most visually stunning version to date, utilizing years of lessons learned from western cartoons and anime, meshing together in breathtaking action, but also having the most hilariously snappy comedic animation that uses what seem like cheap movements of a frame to make every line of dialogue all the more hysterical, and having these very expressive characters be able to be very subtle in the touching emotional moments.

i genuinely love this show so much and i feel really stupid for not having watched it sooner, and the fact it is the shortest of all the shows that never got the chance to finish its story makes me so sad. but at least what story it did get to tell was beautiful.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rottmnt #unpause rise of the tmnt #tmnt #thoughts #idk i have a lot of feelings about them and im sad people didnt give it a chance #and for the dumbest reasons too #listen to me when i tell you every other turtle show has had a weapon swap out and that that is the dumbest reason ive ever heard #bitches dont even know about 87 mikey and his grappling hook #or the 2 times in 03 they got new weapons #or the fact 12 mikey has a kusarigama #but really they made leo not a leader so they could make him a character on his own and he really does shine #im just sad he didnt get to finish his arc of becoming leader #anyway....yes i finally watched this show in the first place because i saw an amv of raph with surface pressure #and as a bitch with oldest sibling traumas i was like uh oh is this for me #and it was!#i dunno sorry for long post out of nowhere as someone whos been uh... no talky on internet for past.....5 years?#its just unearthed a want to be creative in me and i genuinely havent felt passion like that in all that time

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salad-storm · 14 days

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This turned from me trying to do something serious to just having fun with it and I think that's great

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basslinegrave · 1 month

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i was being a completely sane person today (/s) and was creating a timeline tree for snm would anyone even be interested in that. and collecting my shipping thoughts (or specifics about them being a couple etc). know that i still consider my knowledge of the franchise as poor. its just tidying it up in my head so when i talk about something i can pinpoint a specific thing (i was too deep in fnaf theorizing so now i have to suffer thru a franchise that doesnt even have a canon)

in short/tldr the comics are the base that happened in every possible timeline and everything else is derived from that, happening after, except the cartoon, which shows some events the same way so that would be more intertwined; not everything is connected/within one timeline. and the cartoon is my most fav and where i see them as a true couple.

long rant ahead

on one hand i really like the time travel theory where its like comics -> ttg -> cartoon etc by them travelling back in time for that, however there are many holes especially thinking about their families and stuff so

i like the idea of things branching off. one branch is comics - htr - cartoon, as something more intertwined

second is comics -> ttg -> poker night 2 (since it references ttg events) (idk bout 1 i havent played/seen that)

third would be comics -> ttiv (or comics -> htr -> ttiv, i have no idea atm if bosco's is mentioned in the comics but it is in htr and mentioned in ttiv. ttiv is also set in the year it came out, so theres a huge gap inbetween ttiv and htr but i wouldnt say its where the ttg games happened!)

and i dont mean this in like a multiverse way, since the creator seems to dislike that, its simply just a very loose canon that differs with each installment (simply due to different people working on these imo. nothing too deep imo)

but the juicy part!! i even made brackets that im too lazy to remake digitally so i will just write it out for each bigger installment. im excluding poker night 1 as i havent played it nor watched much gameplay

M = married, BF = best friends (in all technically)

comics: M - unlikely; BF - yes absolutely

htr: M - possible; BF - yes

cartoons: M - i take it as canon here. BF - yes million percent

ttg all seasons: M - no; BF - yes.

poker night 2: M - not sure, implied dating, i take that as good enough; BF - yes

ttiv: M - absolutely not. not a couple at all. BF - they seem too tense, yes, but from my experience playing, their interactions were imo the worst in all of their media, so i wasnt buying it at some points

note - ttiv has to be like the straightest they ever were and i also see it in S.P.'s more recent work. im looking too deep into that, perhaps, but im just thinking were never gonna get anything similar to what we got from back in the 90s again, if theres any future projects

people are also saying they got married like 4 times and its making me a bit confused here. do people mean cartoon, htr dress up card, cake topper and tdph ring scene or am i missing something big?? because to me that is married once, other ones being just for jokes (first one as well but its less vague), and in the ttg games its so extremely vague i cant count that (being realistic here) that said its still fun to joke about them getting married several times, but in this case wouldnt it be more of a marriage per timeline?

and to end this, a personal tierlist

my most fave obviously is the cartoon. not only is it the easiest to work with for me, with the fast pacing and short watch time (but ofc i wish it was longer) i absolutely love how their relationship is depicted there, even if a lot of stuff there is just jokes, but if everything is a joke then its also fine to take everything as canon within this media, to me! like when haters say that people only take the wedding scene out of the intro and ignore the rest - as if the other stuff couldnt happen (isnt one of the shots them fighting a giant octopus, which they end up having an episode about too. like cmon. anything goes here) even if it was contained within this specific part of the franchise, im ok with calling them a couple here. and its S tier overall

another S tier is the comics. nothing else to say

HTR is like A tier to me, only taking off points because its soooo sloooowwww and playing it after watching the series took 3 years off my life immediately. otherwise gud game.

ttg is like A to B tier for me, because of some specifics and preferences but thats just me being nitpicky so, the games overall are good. A- it is. thats all

poker night 2 is fun, i watch the gameplay a lot lately when im too tired at midnight to do anything else, A tier

ttiv. oh how mixed i am about you. gameplay by itself and my first experience with the game - S tier. it made me so giddy more than one time and i kept wanting to come back until i finished the game fully. i dont mind the bugs, its just what i expect in VR games and even tho it made me a bit frustrated at times it wasnt all that bad. its also the only vr game i played for over an hour once and didnt get motion sick - the exception was the level at the store which seemed too bright and actually made me nauseous. which is a feeling that somehow comes back whenever i think about this game. what i dislike was the dialogue, while most of it was fun and fine, i had moments where i just burst out laughing, they (or max especially) were way too mean towards the player. i know its a joke and you could chalk it up to max being unhappy with us/jealous, but it got like, generally unpleasant very quickly. with stuff like good throw - "nice!" bad throw - *neverending insults* and the second was how painfully straight it was and like. the vibes i got from them two was like, oh theyre fed up with each other and my shipping self was just left quite disappointed. i did not get all lines during my gameplay which made it great but upon going thru every line manually after, i was just more and more uncomfortable with what they said in their banter. this drops the game to like C for me? maybe B if i squint. being generous. i also got sick of their talking animations over time... the models are fine just got to be too much. bonus points for max ragdoll physics tho. coming up with a conclusion that this is a completely separate timeline and has nothing to do with anything other than the comics and perhaps HTR. i talked so long about this one cause its the one thing that prompted all of this lol.

but its not that serious! i just knew this franchise for ages as "oh its the two animal guys that are married and its funny" and now that i got into it fully, i see a lot of the shippers are obviously daydreaming and taking things out of context - which is fun, i agree!! i also do that. but it just painted a completely different picture for me. so no. theyre not married, theyre not a couple, except for the cartoon, where its implied, which stays on top for me. but in ttg at least, they love each other, its not as romantic, but i can ship them there (so i ship them in the context of the cartoon and ttg basically)

anyway. nothing is canon for them, everything is canon for them, and everything they say or do is a joke so. its not that deep at all. they gay tho

#insane ramblings #i will tag this #sam and max #for the 2 people that will read this 🫶#thoughts are being thunk #long post #i just went on an unplanned rant here #i was home alone today and spent most of my day thinking about ttiv and how much i hate it and love it and hate it #one could even say its textbook queerbait but since its a separate game i cannot say it #but going from showing them getting married to 20 years later sam dating random women its like. uhh idont like that #obviously #i hc him as bi or pan so its fine its just so lame. like who are they? you know. random off screen characters that mean nothing to me #and max being jealous of the player being there but allowing sam to date is so lol. i havent found the line about the other woman yet #but ive had the lines open for way too many times and i dread going through them further. but i might bite the bullet i just want context #wonder if one of them is that one afghan hound (?) from that one valentines art #when the characters get ooc in official media /j

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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a little Welcome Home theory that's probably me looking entirely too much into a single line <3

so i was clicking through the site for the thousandth time and this line caught my eye. maybe its 4 am and i haven't slept, maybe i'm onto something. who knows!

but this little thing... "and lively sets unlike anything seen before!". yeah, it could just be them propping up the show. OR maybe the puppets have been alive the whole time, fully autonomous but entirely unaware that they are puppets on a show. maybe to them, the neighborhood is real, and they simply cannot comprehend the presence of humans so their puppet minds don't register them. this could make for a "cosmic horror but for puppets" spin, which would be sick as fuck

their daytime is when the studio lights are on and people are around. idk how the people would teach them the scripts - maybe they did it at "night"? or maybe there was no script, and the puppets would automatically come up with their own shenanigans, dialogue, and segments that aligned with the show, bc that's what they were made for.

bc its not like the whrp team have physical puppets, or much other than art & reports, right? any information on the puppets - like Howdy being rotated between live-hand and walk-around - could've easily been a lie by the creators of the Welcome Home show. i mean, i don't think it would've gone down well if they came out and said "yeah the puppets are alive"

and now that i'm wondering how they could have living puppets, weren't the 60s/70s chock full of cults? could the WH creators have dipped into the occult to create living puppets for a ground breaking, popular, lucrative show, using minimal effort because "the show writes itself"? all they have to do is film and maybe change the puppets' costumes. if that - they could have set up hidden cameras or something.

and this is gonna sound even more far-fetched, but what if creating the puppets required human souls to power them? im not suggesting that the puppets have locked away memories from a "human life", bc that would be uh... a lot. but it's enough that given time and the right prompts, they could gain awareness, and maybe the soul does influence them in minor ways - in likes and dislikes etc.

and Wally being aware means that he fully saw the humans running the show. and maybe the occult thing is what's under Home - the source of black magic that brought the puppets to life seeping out. and he's aware because he looked into that source and it flipped a switch in his lil cotton brain

maybex2 this is what caused the show to not only shut down, but be wiped from existence. the magic seeped into Home, maybe killing someone in the process, and Wally was revealed as aware. maybe on live television. so the creators panicked and shut it all down, tried to destroy everything and gaslight the country into forgetting it ever existed. maybe in the hopes that once no one remembers the puppets, the magic will leech out of them and leave them lifeless

and that loops back into Wally being the only one referred to in present tense in the neighborhood bios. he's still aware, maybe trapped in the studio, alone. i mean, i sure hope he's not alone - i hope he has his friends with him. unless they're all decommissioned (dead)... maybe Wally is trying to bring them all back or "fix" them?

but then there's the case of all of this currently going down online. have the puppets' consciousness somehow been transferred to the internet? or has Wally gotten his little felt mittens on a computer? something else? and then there's the whrp team... could they be fake, and its really just Wally trying to cobble together the remains of his life/friends? i mean, the Question-Answerer sounds like a title a kid or naive puppet would come up with. people would've called them the Curator or somethin?

i have too many thoughts

#cuz like. AH no i should shut up i need to shut up.#no actually i dont and i wont. listen-#im just trying to piece together what clown has alluded to & what we know with the website #bc clearly the website is a Canon Thing. its part of all of this.#so how does it tie into everything #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home arg #AAAAAA I JUST!!!! I CANT WAIT FOR THIS SHINDIG TO KICK OFF #its gonna be a while obs which just means more time to be excited #and also come up with outlandish theories that are waaayyyyy off the mark #I HAVENT THOUGHT THIS MUCH ABOUT A THING IN AGES #like i love theorizing!!! and Thinking!!! this is the ultimate enrichment for my enclosure!!!#i am a tiger digging into a meat pumpkin!!!#this is why welcome home is a threat to all of my other interests #none of them make me think this much #analyzing characters & relationships and established storylines can only go so far #i need to PREDICT i need to IMAGINE i need to WAIT WAIT WAIT #i love the waiting. i also hate it. but i love it <3 #im very used to waiting. i have waited years for little things and i can wait as long as possible to watch this unravel #i have so. so. So many thoughts #about Wally and the Secrets and literally Everything #i am having fun.#it is consuming my brain and i can barely think about anything else and its FUN AS FUCK #*all of this said while guiltily side-eyeing my dc blog*

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dreemurr-skelememer · 11 months

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I shall share with you my most favorite meme that has shown up in an RP once.

*aHeM*

Technically speaking, Swap is Dream and Nightmare’s father

BEHOLD, MY BESTIE @ss-kitkat 's DREAMTALE AU!!!!!!!

#kitkat: i havent been into undertale in soooo many years #me: (is annoying about dreamtale and refreshes them on dreamtale lore)#kitkat: ......kia i thought of something. why would you do this to me #me: LETS GOOOOO I WIN AGAIN!!!!!!!!!#(drags you by the feet back into my special interest #forgotten-nightmares-stuff

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menelaiad · 1 year

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can I prompt you to talk about Menelaus sparing Helen I'm just like :chinhands: about everything u say about the house of atreus

hey, if you're willing to listen, i'm more than happy to talk - thank you!

so. again. we got Big Three versions.

menelaus says 'guys it's chill i'll kill her at home. let's all cool our jets' (this is the version in euripides)

menelaus goes to kill her himself. helen shows her boobs. menelaus suddenly very chill (this is also implied by euripides)

menelaus gets men to kill her. helen shows her boobs. men suddenly very chill (stesichorus)

CAN YOU GUESS WHICH TWO I DESPISE? no. fr. the last two (the boob two) are far too dependent on helen being vain. and helen .... almost not feeling any guilt or shame from what's happened. and we know that's not true from the iliad. these two, to me, are classic. THIS IS JUST HOW HOT HELEN WAS propaganda. cause yknow. ur a greek/roman/ancient dude and you hear that helen of sparta showed you her boobs like 'damn bro i wouldn't kill her either ahahahaha pass the wine, maximus'.

but helen was never vain. she was never arrogant. she was confident and self-assured. but it's pretty much everyone AROUND helen that comments on her beauty and stuff. she never really does herself? which is another fascinating element of her character tbh. so her doing THIS as a means to be spared? doesn't suit me. do i think helen wanted to die/was willing to die? no. but i think she would have gone about pleading for her life a different way, y'know? also i hate the whole 'her tits got her into this mess they'll get her out of it' like shut UP. menelaus is not 12. he's fucking 60 odd at this point. he is tired. he is wounded. he is so beyond mentally well. give him some respect. he wouldn't have been blind sided by this.

but i don't think menelaus EVER planned to kill her. i can accept euripudes' version cause i think there would have been a lot of greek men that would have wanted to see helen dead. it makes sense yknow? they dont see the full narrative. the big picture. as far as they're concerned helen ran away. loads of people died. and now she's gonna get away with it. they're not narrative aware enough to see all the cogs of fate and the gods and all this. so i can respect that some greeks would have wanted her to suffer and menelaus would have risked a fuckin riot if he outright said 'nah lads she's fine lets crack on' so the whole 'wait til we get home' narrative is a good way for him to save time. to buy him and helen some time to come up with a plan, a story. to hear each other out. to work through stuff. they don't get back to sparta for like. 10 more years. they can EASILY have come up with some reason why she's not been killed yet. or why he's not gonna go through with it/why it's all worked out.

in regards to menelaus never wanting to kill her, i believe that because of how menelaus behaves in the iliad. menelaus is constantly lamenting the deaths of the greeks. the needless death and suffering. how these men are working and sacrificing to get helen back. to bring her HOME. what would killing her do? another senseless death. all the sacrifice for naught because menelaus doesnt get his wife back. he goes back to sparta alone. as if he never even went to fucking troy and tried to get her back?????

and also because menelaus loves her. despite everything he loves her and he never stopped. it's why i really like his portrayal in IOA even if he is a giant ass clown. he's a man desperate to get his wife back. and he's under the impression they're just gonna go to troy and get her back. simple as. two months tops. he's frantic and desperate and willing to try anything to get her back (yo bro kill ur daughter for me kthx). and i don't think that desire to get her back changes. menelaus grows more subdued and quiet. and has less fire. but he's still trying. he goes toe to toe with paris, is willing to take on hektor. menelaus is very much: 'i am dying at troy or i am leaving with my wife' and how is that not love? it's literally. he is going to get her back or die trying.

(also idk how much people value to fall of troy texts that are around but like. menelaus kills deiphobus in those. when dei is with helen. the man is insane in those moments he could easily have took helen out too in his madness. but he doesn't. also also. when he's in the horse and he hears helen, he's said to 'groan' when he remembers her and given the context of the other men weeping and stuff. this is like. a groan of pain. hearing helen's voice after so long and remembering her. HURTS him. he's missed her so much.)

menelaus and helen loved each other. you see it in odyssey 4. the healing they must have gone through in those 10 years. is so admirable and powerful. and they did it because they wanted to. because they were gonna see this out. they were gonna make this work. and even zeus acknowledges it. because he lets menelaus into elysium just to be with helen (his own DAUGHTER) for eternity. even though menelaus has LITERALLY no elysium qualities. not even zeus cant bear to separate these two.

they're just so fucking powerful.

#long post for ts ///#menelaus #yes i am starting to tag my menelaus stuff. ive studied him for a decade.#ive given talks on him. ive written papers and been referenced in essays im about him #2023 is the year i embrace the 'menelaus expert' meme #that isn't ............. talking to a class and having them stare at me for like an hour #i have no idea if anyone agrees with ANYTHING i ever say #but i refuse to be silenced tbh #havent been quiet about the HOA for ten years. im not starting now #thank you for the kind words though friend!!! this passion has a very special place in my heart #it's nice to have an outlet for my menelaus thoughts <3

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nerves-nebula · 1 year

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Idk about your intentions, and feel free to ignore me if I’m wrong, but Mikey sounds like a maladaptive daydreamer lol.

Just some background, maladaptive daydreamers use these huge fictional worlds called paracosms to escape reality. Some people do it because of anxiety or stress, but some do it as like a coping mechanism (which is how I’d see Mikey doing it based on your dissociation post) People with maladaptive daydreaming can stim while doing it, like rocking back and forth, pacing, etc, but some can master the art of being able to sit still and just daydream whenever. There’s almost an addictive aspect to it, and a lot of daydreamers have to take adhd or anxiety meds to shake it

Would Mikey stim at first but learn to stay still after Splinter lectured him too many times? Would his paracosm be the book that he’s writing about killing splinter? Idk feel free to look at this like I’m crazy but this subject is very close to my heart as I’m a daydreamer myself.

OK SO like. I don't know. and I don't know if Mikey has maladaptive daydreaming for a specific reason.

That being that I'm basing him on myself. I spent a lot (AND I DO MEAN A LOT) of my time in my head as a kid. I don't really know what a paracosm is so I'm not sure if I was exploring within them. but there are huge chunks of my childhood i really only remember via the emotional exploration I was doing inside these fictional worlds. Like most of puberty for me was just imagining gay fictional gods and forbidden love and abuse and violence and at all that. and it's hard for me to tell if that was a bad thing because it's linked to a very integral part of my personality- that being the desire to tell and experience stories.

I was always dragging around paper and pencils to draw these imagined worlds. But i was also often just sitting with my eyes closed (or sometimes opened, but closed if I wanted to really focus)

if I was painfully bored, or very anxious (which happened often, basically any time i was outside the house or not watching tv or playing a game) I would do this. If I was stuck in a car or a room while my siblings were fighting violently, I would force myself to try to only think about my characters. If the talk radio host was getting on my nerves I would try to drown him out by thinking about my characters going through their worlds and getting in fights and having sex and all that stuff.

this got even better (or worse, considering how you think of it) once I got earbuds/headphones and access to my cousins old ipod. I was finally able to fully block out the world and only, ONLY ever think of my stories. just how I'd always wanted.

and sure, I was always kind of spacey, but even when I wasn't thinking of stories and art I was bad at paying attention the way adults liked. I think adults liked me more when I was just sitting there thinking anyway, instead of being hyper and then having an emotional breakdown when i realize they thought I was annoying.

There was a particularly vibrant time for daydreaming around puberty where i had dozens if not around a hundred different intricate stories that I started to overlap, just because. And I'd go through them over and over, adding or changing little things, making up reasons that the characters would all end up living in the same bunker or fighting the same enemy. making up reasons for the god of war and his little lamb prince to be torn apart. making up reasons for them to attack each other. then forcing them back together through all the trauma.

and recalling these spaces makes me kind of shiver because they're almost like real memories to me. I remember thinking of these scenarios more than I remember my real life around 11-12 years old. And i think that's largely because after I got my blackbelt at around 11 years old, my parents let me quit karate, and didn't force me to do any more sports or anything. So for the most part I legit never left the house. My entire life was in these stories and in my art.

I really only stopped doing this once I got sent off to high school at around 13-14 and was basically FORCED to participate in the real world more.

but I did that all on purpose. i was bored, and i hated other kids because they never clicked with me. and it never seemed to interrupt my life in a way that my parents noticed or cared about. in fact it was the only thing that kept me from being actively suicidal for a while there!

so like. i don't know man. i don't know.

#nnstuff #ask #tmnt mikey #maladaptive daydreaming #i havent thought about those worlds in years #its surprising how few of them i still maintain considering they were all i had for years #personal

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sualne · 10 months

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that guy

#one piece #eustass kid #my art #undescribed #<- its 2am and im brain has given up i'll go back tomorrow/later today to write some alt text #feel like i havent drawn anything serious in weeks. didnt vibe at first with the shading in the first one so i tried smth flatter.#i had thoughts i wanted to say about him but yeah. i like him. i like that he love his bestie a ton. and his style and kind of shitty #personality and worse temperament. he's fun. anyway goodnight. oh yeah. in french they translated a word as 'best friend' which made me #realized not a single characters that i can remember had ever called anyone best friend. then i check the english translation and turns out #they translated it as 'partner' (tis all about how kid and killer calls each other btw) a +100 eps later killer use the same word again thi #time its translated as 'partner' too and also i manage to catch the word these two been using. 'aibou' and well. there seems to Meanings an #all about this word im thinking i need to look it up properly when i remember to do it but i just happy these two love each other a lot yet #still refers to the others as 'teme' sometimes which man. so funny. i also love killer too btw. need to draw that hug. 12 years theyve been #in my life and i knew nothing of them till now its interesting feeling.

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ilikecheeseandchocolatee · 6 days

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If you could relive any of your memories, which would it be?

Okay I really had to think about this and I’m a bit torn, but I’ve settled for one of the two memories that have been contending for first place. I’ll tell you both of them anyway.

The one that has NOT won first place is from 2021, me playing skribbl.in with my discord friends late in the night. I think this will always be one of my most cherished memories because I love skribbl.io, and I’m not allowed to stay up late and I had done it anyway (by sneaking), and my parents are constantly paranoid that I’ll end up talking to someone on the internet (I’m not allowed to speak to people on the internet. Which I do anyway. That’s the only way I can network as an artist who rarely goes out in public.) and getting whisked away and kidnapped and sold for body parts, so I was basically breaking a lot of rules that I didn’t agree with AND I was having a wonderful time with people that cared about me and listened to me and it’s yeah honestly such a cherished memory.

The memory that WON FIRST PLACE tho, is not so glamorous. It was in 2018, I think, and I was in India. I had twisted my ankle a few weeks prior to this memory, and it was raining as I was walking out from school to the bus. I was limping and I had an umbrella with flowers on it. These three guys (from school) behind me poked my umbrella and at first I thought it had been an accident so I ignored them, but then I heard them laughing at me. And making fun of my limp. I ignored them because I was limping and I couldn’t really do much if they all decided to get physical. But they actually followed me quite a ways and eventually they also started making fun of my British accent, and I was getting REALLY fucking worked up. I don’t actually remember what the trigger was, but suddenly I just turned around, limped over to the three guys, and just straight up punched them. They were just standing there while I limped over to them. The one that was in my class turned on his heel and ran in the opposite direction the moment I started limping towards them because he’s seen me in action but the other two guys just stood there like Tf is this little girl gonna do. So I went over, and punched them good. And the look on their faces? I want to see that look again. That day was the day I incited fear in guys from all across my year-group because until then it was only within my class. After that day no one bothered me again, everyone was respectful to me. I really really want to see that look again because the memory of their expressions has all but faded and I really want to just cement that into my brain to cheer me up with I’m feeling low and useless. Btw after I punched them and saw the look on their faces I just turned right around and headed for my bus and they didn’t follow. That adrenaline was coursing through my blood vessels and my heart was thrumming. I only processed what I’d done when I was sitting in the bus. It was a great feeling.

So yeah you’re welcome for the enormous answer.

#thank you for the ask!#i ramble #answers of the cheese #and also don’t worry they weren’t grievously injured I just punched them enough to rattle them #and perhaps cause a bit of pain I guess because yk they WERE scared of me after that #after I processed what I’d done I felt so good but I was also feeling so guilty because like #in my class whoever I’d punched had also punched me back but these guys just didn’t they just gave up #so the next day I went and apologised to one of the guys because I have no idea who the other one is and where I can find him #and he was like ‘it’s okay you can stop the accent now’ which I didn’t understand so I was like okay bye #and then later I asked my friend and I think he meant that he thought my British accent was fake?#boy I wish #but no yeah the next year he ended up being in my class and let me tell you it was a great feeling when his other friends who don’t know me #tried to antagonise me and he just panickedly pulled them away from me without explanation #also for those who are concerned about me now I was in the eighth grade and I was so immature and I promise I’m not violent anymore #i havent punched anyone since eighth grade I think #and I’m weak as fuck now #but I’m not violent anymore and I’ve grown as a person and I’d handle the situation in a much more mature way if it had happened to me now #back then I had anger issues so yeah I wouldn’t have been good with words #so yeah anyway #cheese out

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whispers-of-masser · 11 months

Text

Poor Form

✧ Nebarra x human!LDB, ft. Xelzaz & Khash ✧ Fluff, maybe angst (if you squint), slow-burn with tension; 2k+ word count ✧ Mentions of blood, (poorly written) fantasy violence ♫ "Ritual" - AWAY, Echos ✒ @dalishthunder come take responsibility for this

It was the grey hour when you woke, the quiet lull between full night and the oncoming dawn. From where you lay in the tent, the only sounds you could hear were the steady breaths of your companions, the breeze rustling by outside, and the lone call of a bird, faint and dim in the distance.

Slowly, you sat up, grimacing at your sore neck and shoulders – though you had long since grown accustomed to sleeping on the ground, that didn't mean you, or your body, appreciated it. You'd have to look into getting some bed cots instead. Until then, though...

At least we stay warm through the night. The oiled leather tent kept out most of the wind, and the beasts you'd felled along the journey had long since become the bedding everyone slept on.

A sudden snore drew your attention to where Khash lay, bundled in her sleeping bag beside you, red eyes shut tight and jaw slightly parted, her sharp little teeth on display. Across from her was Xelzaz, sleeping quietly on his side with his back turned towards you; you could just make out the lump of his tail beneath the blankets. And next to him...

...was an empty bed roll, the fur still fluffed, apparently untouched through the night.

Frowning, you pushed back the blankets, habitually reaching for your sword as you rose – just in case, always just in case – and, taking care not to wake Khash, crawled quietly out of the tent.

The morning had teeth. You felt it the moment you stepped outside, the cold biting into your bare arms, gnawing through the fabric of your tunic and raising goosebumps across your skin. Your breath plumed white amidst the grey, and the dirt underfoot was cold and hard; not even the morning dew had loosened it. You found yourself wanting retreat back into the tent and burrow under your furs once more, pulling them all the way over your head and falling asleep beneath their warmth. Any other morning, you might have done just that. But...

The empty, untouched bedroll.

You squinted into the mist, eyes searching, searching... there. A figure, seated on a rock several metres away, smudged and blurred in the gloom, but glinting a familiar gold.

As you lowered your sword, a sigh slipped from your lips, drawn from some strange mix of frustration, concern, and relief.

"...How long have you been out here, Nebarra?"

"Morning to you too, guar-face," the elf drawled, and though he didn't rise, his helmeted head turned towards you. A thin layer of condensation covered the metal, droplets falling at his movement; his bangs, escaping through the visor, were damp and plastered to his helm. "And all night, to answer your question. Somebody has to keep watch."

"Obviously. But you volunteered for the first shift last night." Frowning, you looked him up and down, not bothering to mask your concerned displeasure. "Why didn't you wake me or Xelzaz? We could have relieved you. We were supposed to relieve you."

"Oh yes, a human and a lizard! I'm certain I'd feel very safe with you two on watch. Your species' eyesight is so much better than an Altmer's, after all."

Your frown deepened, brow furrowing as you stared him down. It was too early in the morning for his snark.

Wordlessly, you brought up your sword and levelled it at his throat. "I can see that gap in your armor just fine. I could kill you right now – and the same goes for whatever may have come up on us in the night."

Nebarra gave a disdainful snort, gloved hand clamping down on your blade and giving a sharp tug. Unprepared, reflexes still sluggish from sleep, you stumbled a whole two steps forward before managing to check yourself.

"Poor form," the elf sneered. "You won't be killing anything like that."

Your nostrils flared, a dozen retorts surging to your lips, but you held them all in.

He's right, and you both know it.

"I wasn't ready", "I'm still waking up", "I wasn't serious" – excuses that could get you, and maybe the others, killed. How long had Nebarra seen this in you? Why was he only mentioning it now? Why hadn't you realised it on your own, that despite your confidence, your skills, your strength – you were still very much mortal? And when had that confidence become something more dangerous – arrogance?

"...What?" Nebarra asked suddenly, drawing you from your reverie. "You have that expression again. The one where you're about to do something stupid."

"Spar with me."

"Terrible idea, absolu... wait. What?"

"Spar with me," you repeated, staring into the black of his visor. "I'm getting rusty, fighting nothing but bandits and mindless undead. This just proved it."

Nebarra was silent for a beat, his head tilting to the side. Something about the motion reminded you of a bird; the eagle-shaped helm only added to the effect. You waited patiently for his answer, wondering what exactly he had to consider –

Metal, arcing toward your sword arm.

You barely managed a dodge and a weak parry with the flat of your blade – you'd been holding it low, unready. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Clearly, Nebarra was done thinking – the two of you were sparring now.

Fair enough. Enemies wouldn't be so polite as to give you time to gear up, either. And now, for once, the odds weren't in your favour: a fully-armoured Altmer veteran with decades of experience, versus you, young, disoriented, and unarmored, only a single blade in hand.

It was thrilling.

You sidestepped another swing of Nebarra's blade – only to connect with it a moment later, coming out of the feint you had failed to read.

Sharp, stinging pain. Scarlet, dripping from your arm.

He was trying to hurt you. And you were giving him ample opportunity.

You needed to ground yourself, regain your rhythm – something you couldn't do without an opening, and Nebarra wasn't giving you any.

A glint of metal on the left – block, step back. Movement overhead, an oncoming blow – raise your sword, throw your weight behind it, disrupt his momentum.

At least, you tried. Fully armoured as he was, Nebarra had an extra thousand angaids of weight behind his swing, if not more. The sheer force of his blow knock your sword out of your hands, sending you staggering back. But the grass underfoot was slick with the morning's dew, and you were moving too fast, too unsteadily. Before you knew it, your back was colliding with the ground, and all you could see was grey sky overhead – and a golden sword coming down.

Careless.

But there was still a chance.

Contorting violently, you grabbed Nebarra's arm as the blade sailed by, nicking your face as it passed. You didn't let go of his arm just yet, though. Instead, you pulled, leveraging your weight against his, abdomen taut as you used him to haul yourself upright. Nebarra, clearly not expecting such a move, found himself betrayed by his own momentum, drawing him forward and down, aided by your weight. Gravity took care of the rest, and he crashed towards the earth, twisting even as he fell to avoid face-planting into the ground.

As he struggled to right himself, you rushed to retrieve your sword; Nebarra was already rising by the time you turned back to him.

"No you don't," you growled, charging the mer, sword raised.

His hand shot out, a ward rippling to life, though it buckled slightly under your sword's impact. Nebarra staggered, his half-risen stance precarious, unbalanced.

Now. Now. Now.

Once, twice, thrice more your sword glanced off the ward – and on the fourth blow, it shattered, leaving the Altmer open to your assault.

Metal clanged as you brought your sword down, colliding with his gauntlet as he struggled to block with it, not given enough time to raise his own sword in defense. You let the blade slide off, intending to follow up with its momentum, but Nebarra didn't give you a chance. The moment the sword glanced off his gauntlet, he lunged, catching you in the abdomen and bringing the both of you to the ground.

The tussle that followed was a blur.

His sword arcing down, yours blocking. Hilts catching, blades flying, yanked out of your grasp and his.

Panted breaths, heaving chests, grappling and rolling across the grass.

A glint caught your eye – your sword and Nebarra's, just within reach.

He saw it too, the both of you reaching out in unison for your weapons, desperate to be faster than the other.

Leather-bound metal brushed against your palm – the hilt. Your hand closed around it, drawing it in close. Brought it swiftly upwards, blade against Nebarra's neck.

At its touch, he froze – and so did you. Because resting against your own neck, biting into the tender flesh, was the edge of Nebarra's blade.

Stalemate.

Ears ringing, heart racing, you shift your gaze from the sword to the one holding it.

Hunched over and straddling you, a leg to either side of your waist, there was hardly any distance between your bodies. The beak of his helm was close enough to brush your nose; your breath fogged on the metal. His gasping breaths may has well have been your own – you could feel them, swift and hot, slipping through the gold feathers that covered his face, carrying the faint scent of wine.

Of course, he'd been drinking. It had probably kept him warm through the night – and he'd still managed to keep you off-balanced for most of the fight.

You were in worse shape than you'd thought.

That, or... maybe Nebarra was better than he'd ever let on.

"...Tonight," you breathed, staring up at him. "Let's... spar again tonight."

Nebarra grunted; you could hear the sound echo faintly in his helmet. "Fine. Don't expect me to go easy on you."

A smile tugged at your mouth – you could feel your lips crack and stretch at the motion, dried out in the cold; you gave them a brief lick before answering. "What, and this was?"

Another affirmative grunt. "I'll be sober by tonight. Unfortunately."

You snorted, then fell silent once more. With your eyes, you found yourself tracing the curves of his helm, pausing at the sight of his bangs peeking through, dark and tangled threads of gold. Something about them was like an itch you couldn't scratch, and you had the sudden urge to brush them aside, or at least tuck them back into his helm.

As your gaze drifted upward, toward the visor, a glint in its shadows caught your eye. Again, you paused, staring intently into the dark.

A reflective sheen, a gleam of crimson –

"Are you done breathing on one another, yet?"

Xelzaz's voice shattered your focus, and both you and Nebarra snapped your heads toward the sound.

The Argonian stood just outside the tent, arms crossed, head bare of its usual hood, scales shimmering in the pale light. Beside him was Khash, a shadowy smudge in the mist; her wide red eyes seemed to float amidst the grey.

"Good morning," you said stupidly, even as Nebarra scrambled to get off you.

"Why were you fighting?" Khash asked. "Did something happen?"

"For your – obviously necessary – information," Nebarra sniffed, dusting off his armour, "we were sparring. And you had better get used to it. Our dear Dragonborn and I will continue to do so, apparently, starting today."

As you sat up, you distinctly heard Xelzaz mutter, "By the Hist." When he turned his head to you once more, there was something incredibly deadpan about his gaze, an unspoken, "Really?" in his eyes.

"What?" you mouthed back, blinking at him in confusion. He only shook his head, and have no answer.

"Right... Well, let's get the fire going again, and I'll see about getting us all breakfast."

At that, Khash's gaze snapped towards him. "Ohh, Xelzaz, can I have some Hackle-lo with it?"

"Khash, you've eaten almost my whole stock."

"Oh..."

"...I'll see if I can't spare a few more."

"Yay! Heh."

"Horker stew for you, Nebarra?"

"I'm too tired to say no... but I'll watch you every moment of its making."

"Yes, yes, as usual. And what of you, friend?" Xelzaz turned towards you, and for a moment, you couldn't answer him – you'd been too distracted watching the scene unfold, a smile on your face.

"Ah... it doesn't matter to me, I suppose. Surprise me."

And so, thirty minutes later, as the sun climbed through the sky and burned away the mist, breakfast was served.

But for some strange reason, all throughout the meal, you found your gaze drawn... repeatedly...

...to Nebarra.

#nebarra #nebarra skyrim #skyrim nebarra #skyrim #i havent written action in YEARS i hope its passable #i tried to remember what my two whole gumdo lessons were like back in high school :DDD #also fyi i know ZILCH abt tes lore n stuff so uhhh pls be gentle w me on that front #i literally spent ten minutes looking up tamrielic weight measurements and then trying to convert that it to pounds and back #and apparently its only referenced in a book that appears in like four of the games so its clearly an OLD book #likely that tamriel doesnt even use that unit of measurement anymore but damnit i wanted to get SOMETHING accurate #anyway that was quite enough research for me tyvm #like mate i just wanna romance this sardonic sunflower #speaking of which i wanna give him flowers?? dont ask me why i just do #give him a boquet of yellow mountain flowers like #'i saw them and thought they looked like u'#to which he scoffs and VERY GRUDGINGLY accepts ONE #prolly tells us to give the rest to khash or xelzaz #fast forward several to months later and somehow we find that one flower v carefully pressed n preserved amongst his belongings #dont touch me i just made myself sOFT thinking about this #im literally gonna have to write it now dammit #dali this is all ur fault u have unleashed the floodgates of my garbage bin brain #........thank u :D #anyway yeah this was originally written for my ldb oc which is why the personality of the ldb here may be a bit.... specific? idk #just swapped pronouns to make it more self-insert/other people's oc friendly #anyway thank god its finally done; only took me three days #not super happy with the ending but oh well #'swhat happens when u dont write for over a year #rUST #rusty as lbd's fighting in this fic #whisper writes

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