#Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant
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It's always graveyards. Why is it always graveyards? They're creepy as hell and, well... that's it. On the bright side, the Protection Spirits watching the gates recognize him and realize the danger he's in. Well, maybe he wasn't in real danger because the Bats and Birds don't really do the whole purposefully harming civilians things, but they are scary as hell! Chasing him down like a bat straight outta hell- obviously he was gonna run! They cornered him! Maybe he'll invest in getting them lessons in how to interact with people in and out of costume?
Honestly, Nightwing, Danny expected better of you. At least Red Hood and Signal know how to treat innocents.
Here's the thing about Protection and Guardian Spirits, though. They don't like intruders. If you're running from something and you don't have time to ask permission to enter, you best say "thank you" and bring them shiny things on your next visit. If you do have time to ask permission, you ask permission. If they think you're a threat or rude, they won't let you enter whatever they're guarding.
"Thank you," Danny said as he slowed to a walk further into the graveyard, the sound of the gates slamming closed behind him confirmation that the Bat and his gaggle wouldn't be following him in.
Wasting no time, Danny pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. It was a handy little thing he'd picked up during his stay in the House of Mysteries. Draw and door, tell it where you wanna go, open it, and go through! Beetlejuice style. Though, unlike what the Handbook for the Recently Deceased says, these doors won't actually open a door to the afterlife. He fixed that tiny glitch a while ago.
Anyway, a quick few chalk lines on the side of a mausoleum later, and Danny was opening a door to Fawcett, Philadelphia. Probably not the best choice, considering that he was trying to stay away from the Justice League, but it's better than Metropolis.
"Whoa." Damn it! He should've stayed home. "What was that, mister?"
Danny made sure the door closed behind him, praying for strength. Why did he feel like several deities were laughing at him? "Hey, kid. Can you, um, maybe not say anything about that?"
The kid, short brown hair and a red jacket stood out the most to Danny for some reason, seemed very amused. "You're gonna have to buy my silence."
Again, Danny let out a quiet, long suffering sigh. "Coffee is so not worth it." Looking at the kid, he said, "Alright, fine. I was getting coffee anyway, I'll buy ya lunch. Know any good places?"
Grinning, the kid cheered, "Hell yeah! Follow me!"
Resigned, Danny followed after the kid, easily keeping pace. About a block later, he figured he should probably get the kid's name. "I'm Danny."
"Billy."
"No last name?"
"Fae rules, dude. What's your excuse?"
He had to give it to him. "Touché."
Another three blocks of walking, Billy finally stopped at a cafe. It was a quaint place with stained white brick and a dark grey roof. There were metal chairs and tables outside the building surrounded by a wrought iron fence. The table umbrellas and the awning over the black door were light blue, matching the curtains in the inside.
The inside walls were painted baby blue with a white ceiling and a pinewood floor. The tables and chairs were all stained black with light pink cushions and table cloths. The curtains, as observed before, were all baby blue, tied back with baby pink ribbons. The lights were barely yellow, giving the room a warm feel. The counters were white with black paneling on the outside and white granite as the tops.
"Welcome in," the young man at the register greeted with a smile, "What can I get you two started with today?"
Danny envied the man. He'd obviously not been doing this long enough to gain the veteran's shine to his eye. He turned to look at the menu after telling Billy to get whatever he wanted. A mistake he'll probably pay for. "I'd like a large Red Eye, equal parts coffee and espresso, with cinnamon, honey, chocolate syrup, mint, and vodka, please."
The 'newbie' light in the man's eyes dimmed a little bit. "Um, we don't carry vodka." Glad that's the only thing he's worried about. Priorities.
Danny clicked his tongue. "Oh, well, it was worth a shot. I'd like everything else, though, please. Mix it at your own discretion."
"Alright," he was very valiant to go back to grinning, "Anything else?"
Danny motioned for Billy and the kid stepped up. "Can I get a large mocha, three chocolate chip cookies, and two sandwiches?"
The blond entered the order. "Of course! That'll be $25.37." A quick card swipe from Danny. "Thank you very much, we'll have your order out to you soon!"
The two didn't say a word as they chose a table in the corner. Danny let Billy take the seat that was open to the rest of the cafe so he wouldn't feel cornered. He had a good view of the door, though, so he wasn't complaining.
"So, how'd you do that?" Billy asked after they'd gotten their orders.
"How'd I do what?" Danny sipped his drink.
"How'd you walk outta that wall? It's solid!"
"Magic."
"I guessed that much."
"Then why'd you ask?"
"Will you teach me?"
"No."
"You didn't even think about it!"
"Okay," He paused. "No."
"Not fair." he pouted.
Putting his drink on the table, Danny summed as much fake-it-till-you-make-it energy as he could. "Magic isn't a toy and takes years of practice to get a handle on, not to mention you have to actually have an aptitude for it before you can even try. Besides, I don't know you nearly well enough to trust you with anything else."
Billy finished the cookie he was eating. "I can do it! You just gotta teach me!"
Another sigh that Danny had stopped counting. "Look, you seem like a good kid, but I'm not gonna teach you magic."
"Why not!"
"However," he continued, ignoring the demand, "I'm not gonna leave ya fully defenselessness."
"What do you mean?" Billy backed away slightly, his eyes narrowing as he moved to be able to run quickly.
Another sip. "Based off of the dirt you're covered in, the grease in your hair, and the overall poor condition of your clothes, I'm gonna bet that you're a street kid. So," he pulled a small card from his pocket, very aware that Billy was watching his hand aptly, "I'm going to leave you with this."
Slowly, the brunet took it and turned it over. "What it is?"
The white card had the initials DP in the middle, circled by an Ouroboros. The initials were completely solid, but the snake of the Ouroboros was made up of tiny runes of protection and health and healing and good fortune.
"My calling card. If you're ever in danger, hold that to your chest and ask for help. I'll be there."
Still obviously suspicious, Billy took a moment to scrutinize the card. It was cute to watch the kid act like he knew what he was looking at or for. When he seemed satisfied, he shoved the card into the inner pocket sewn into his jacket. "Thanks."
"No problem, kid," Pulling out his phone, Danny saw the time and stood, "I've gotta go now. I assume I've sufficiently bought your silence on the whole magic thing?"
Billy grinned, "I guess, but you gotta come visit me, okay?"
He chuckled, "Sure thing. See ya."
Part 2 Part 4
(I don't drink coffee, so Idk how that shit works)
Tag list: @zaiothe4th
#dp dc crossover#dc x dp#dc x dp crossover#dp x dc#danny phantom#dc comics#dcu#dc#billy batson#shazam#ghost king danny#magic#coffee#cafe#I don't drink coffee#I don't even go to cafes#Idk if that's how it works#it is now#in this economy?#Hopefully#protection sigil#I made that up on the spot with very little research#If anyone draws it please tag me#Do we like where this is going?#part 3#Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant
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Lloyd: My toxic trait is telling people to take care of themselves while I'm running on three hours of sleep, enough caffeine to kill an elephant, and a single Oreo.
#lloyd montgomery garmadon#lloyd garmadon#ninjago lloyd#lloyd ninjago#incorrect ninjago quotes#incorrect quotes
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Luisa: My toxic trait is telling people to take care of themselves while I'm running on three hours of sleep, enough caffeine to kill an elephant, and a single Oreo.
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Caitlyn: My toxic trait is telling people to take care of themselves while I'm running on three hours of sleep, enough caffeine to kill an elephant, and a single Oreo.
#incorrect piltover quotes#incorrect quotes#league of legends caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#league of legends#riot games#source: tumblr
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this is my main fursona, Scout!
fancy mouse? field mouse? house mouse? they don't know, and neither will you! all they know is watch tv, smoke weed, drink enough caffeine to kill a small elephant, and lie. ❤️
I LOVE SCOUT
omg what a design, the stripes really make this design so visually engaging, and the blue accent goes so well with the brown black and white (ive done the combo myself before uwu 10/10 would reccomend)
seriously what a cool design tho omg omg
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How i manage to work 8 hours a day from home with unmedicated adhd?
I just drink enough caffeine to kill a small elephant herd, gain the focus of an electron microscope, the heartbeat of a F1 car engine and forget to sleep for the whole week
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Though I like the raunchyness between the two, I do like it whenever Andrew and Ashley have a bit of fluff to their relationship. If you don't mind me asking
Who's the big/little spoon in bed?
Do either one of them hog all the blankets and space in bed?
Who wakes up early and who's the late sleeper of the two?
Ashley is almost always the little spoon. It goes back to the days of Andy and Leyley cuddling under the blankets. She loves the feeling of his lanky arms wrapped around her waist.
And they're both not really morning people, which is why a blearly eyed Andrew usually wakes up first to make coffee with enough caffeine to kill a bull elephant.
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Janus: My toxic trait is telling people to take care of themselves while I'm running on three hours of sleep, enough caffeine to kill an elephant, and a single Oreo.
#incorrect sanders sides quotes#sanders sides incorrect quotes#janus sanders incorrect quotes#janus sanders
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Tim: My toxic trait is telling people to take care of themselves while I'm running on three hours of sleep, enough caffeine to kill an elephant, and a single Oreo.
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Naminé: My toxic trait is telling people to take care of themselves while I'm running on three hours of sleep, enough caffeine to kill an elephant, and a single Oreo.
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Okay, so, crisis averted. Both of them, really. Red Robin had not asked or attempted to get any more of Danny's drink and the World Ending Crisis was less World Ending and more World Threatening. Either way, no one is hyped up in lethal amounts of caffeine and the world is in no more pieces than it had been before.
That brings attention to a new problem, though. It's uniquely Danny's problem and Constantine and Zatanna and Deadman won't stop laughing at him. He's also pretty sure that Raven is laughing at him in the privacy of her mind, so that's making him feel worse.
The problem is that every single hero that had been at the meeting a week ago that was not a part of the JLD has been overly concerned about him.
So what if he half died when he was fourteen and therefore will never look over either fourteen or eighteen? So what if he consumes enough caffeine to kill an elephant within a few minutes? What is he gonna do, die? That's not a real threat as long as he only fights as Phantom.
Ignoring the fact that he can, in fact, get hurt to the point of near death as Phantom. It's not like anyone knows that, though! Besides, ghosts run on god rules. They can't die, only fade when forgotten. People aren't likely to forget about most ghosts, though, even if they can't remember their names.
He's not gonna share that, though. Let Batman keep his contingency that won't work because the only contingency that will work for Phantom is the one he made himself. Tried and tested! He's marked it off of his Bingo Card.
Anyway. Heros and their kids/proteges have been trying to track him down for the entire week. He can't risk even leaving the House of Mysteries because the Supers are all probably listening out for him and they can't hear him through magic. It sucks. He just wants to go get a cup of coffee as Danny. The second he leaves, though, the Supers will be on him like bloodhounds. He'd leave as Danny, but the rest of the JLD don't know what he looks like as Danny and he'd like to keep it that way, thank you very much. Being stuck as Phantom was going to start causing issues to his human half if he doesn't get to leave soon.
Should he risk it? Is coffee that won't kill him really worth risking the Supers finding out his civilian identity? Sure, they wouldn't tell anyone, but he didn't like the idea of someone being able to pick him out of a crowd when all he wanted to do was blend in. It's why he avoided Gotham and Bludhaven, actually, but that's both self explanatory and another story for another time.
"You're still here?" Zatanna sat on the couch beside him. "You're normally gone by now. You can't not be tired of us yet."
He sighed and sunk down into the couch slightly. "Believe me, I'm tired of being stuck here, but I can't leave. I can't leave as a human because you guys don't know what I look like and, no offense, but I'd like to keep it that way. I can't leave as I am now because Superman will be on my ass quicker than I can blink!" He whined this time, "I just want a cup of coffee."
"What about your special brew?" Raven asked, coming into the room.
"I want to drink coffee as a human. That stuff will kill me if I drink it as a human."
"At least you know your limits."
"That sounded like a dig at someone, Z."
"It was."
"Why don't you just go out under a protection spell?" Raven offered, "We could cast one over you and you could leave. Superman can't hear through magic, so he won't be able to tell. Neither will Superboy."
Danny thought for a second. "You're a genius, Raven! Has anyone ever told you that?"
"A few times," she blushed.
"Well, it needs to be said more!"
Zatanna laughed. "Alright, kid, let's get you outside before you drive yourself crazy."
Practically vibrating in place, Danny waited for the protection spell to settle over him. The second it did, he was out the door and wandering the streets of whatever city the House of Mysteries decided to drop him as Danny instead of Phantom.
"Who are you," was not the question or voice he wanted to hear the second he stepped into the open as himself.
"Danny," he squeaked out through his absolute panic. He didn't dare turn around.
The sound of fabric moving minutely clues him in to the second person behind him. What the hell were these two doing out? It's the middle of the day and there's no attacks going on anywhere in Gotham!
"Where did you come from?" Robin asked.
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! This was really bad! Why did the House drop him *here* of all places? Does it *want* him to die again? It was very painful the first time, thank you very much! "Illinois?"
"Was that a question or an answer?" Why is Red Robin here now?!
"An-an answer?"
"Ah, you guys are scaring the little guy!" That was Nightwing. They're surrounding him! Why is Nightwing here? This is Gotham, not Bludhaven. "Give him some room to breathe."
They did not, in fact, give him room to breathe. Maybe coming outside was a bad idea. If he gets out of this no more dead than he already was, he was going to move to the middle of nowhere and become a hermit. Smallville is a town in the middle of nowhere, right? He'll retire as Phantom and move to Smallville until the people get suspicious and burn him as a witch-!
Maybe moving to a big city would be a better idea. Or locking himself in the basement of the House of Mysteries. Yeah, yeah that's a good idea.
"-even listening?"
Oh shit. They were still talking to him! Now is not the time to panic! "Gottagobye!" And then he was running.
Good job not panicking, Danny.
Part 1 Part 3
#dc x dp#justice league#justice league dark#danny phantom#zatanna#raven#john constantine#no ships#writing#brain child#I wrote this instead of working on any of my current wips#justice league meeting#dc x dp crossover#dcxdp#dcxdpdabbles#fanfic#fandom#phandom#danny is having a crisis#no more caffeine yet#batfam#the batfam do not know how to approach someone normally#especially when they're in costume#the house of mystery#the house of mysteries is a little shit#the supers can't hear through magic because they're weak to magic#secret identity#secret identities#Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant
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Roland: My toxic trait is telling people to take care of themselves while I'm running on three hours of sleep, enough caffeine to kill an elephant, and a single Oreo.
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The sun was beginning to set on a certain homicide detective's birthday. Joey was currently hanging out in his living room playing a video game when the doorbell rang. Pausing his game, Joey walked over to the door and opened it. Bouncing in front of him was Kaoru Shinozaki.
"Quicksilver! Happy birthday!" Kaoru cheered, showing off a bag with the gifts she brought with her.
Stepping inside, Kaoru gave Joey a quick hug before shoving her the bag with her gifts in his hands, a manic smile spreading across her face.
"I got you a few gifts, including one that I personally built myself." Kaoru gleefully explained, waiting for the blond haired Otaku to open his gifts.
"Uh….Kaoru? When was the last time you slept?" Joey questioned, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.
"It's Monday, right? So last Saturday. Not the one that just passed but the one before. Don't worry about me, though I'm fine!" Kaoru flashed Joey a thumbs up. "Don't worry about me. It's your birthday, so go on." Kaoru motioned for Joey to open her gifts.
Joey just stared at Kaoru as if she just didn't confess to going over a week without any sleep. It explained a lot, and Joey just knew she was running on fumes and enough caffeine to kill a full-grown elephant. However, considering she came all the way out to Kanazawa to drop off his gift, Joey quickly pulled out the first gift and began to open it.
Inside the first gift was a collection of graphic tees, each one with something quite weird on it. Joey laughed as he read what was on them. His personal favorite was the shadow wizard one.
"I was strolling through TikTok when I saw these, and I knew you'd get a laugh out of them." Kaoru wheezed.
"They are pretty good." Joey agreed, putting them aside and pulling out the other gift Kaoru had given him, opening it.
"I feel like I'm forgetting something." Kaoru muttered to herself.
Inside the second gift was a lightsaber. Joey could feel a huge grin spread across his face as he picked the sword up, swinging it around. Seeing a button on it as well, Joey pushed it.
"JOEY! WAIT! ITS..." Kaoru shouted, trying to stop him.
It was then when Joey heard the infamous sound of a lightsaber turning on with a bright purple beam sprouting from the handle. Only to watch in shock as the lightsaber sliced through his living room curtains like butter.
"...real." Kaoru finished watching Joey's curtain fall to the floor. "Well…that was something."
Joey could only stare at the lightsaber in his hand, wondering if what he just saw was real.
"Kaoru, what the hell?" Joey questioned his mad genius of friend, his mind wondering how he was gonna explain this to his boyfriend.
"In my defense, I've spent the last week awake and giving you a real lightsaber as a gift seemed like a good idea." Kaoru defended. "Speaking of lack of sleep. It seems like it finally catched up to me. Damn I probably should've listened to Yuriko. She's gonna give me shit for this."
It was then that Joey watched as Kaoru tilted forward a bit before she collapsed onto his living room floor, and much to his relief, a loud snoring could be heard from her prone form. Joey blinked, not sure what to do when he suddenly heard a chime from his phone. Pulling it out, he quickly saw a message from his old friend.
Hey Joey! I'm coming over soon to drop off my gift. - Lyall
“….Joey.”
“…..Honey sugar sweetie baby bear.”
Mamoru repressed the urge to both sigh and cringe at the convoluted nickname as he stared blankly at his blonde boyfriend who stared back with just an equally blank expression except Mamoru could clearly see the amusement dancing in his lavender eyes.
He loves his boyfriend, truly, he does, but sometimes he worries about the company he keeps, not to say that he doesn’t trust Joey or don’t want him to have friends, of course not, but ever since Joey joined the Division Rap Battles, it seems like the shenanigans that would sometimes occur increased nearly tenfold.
The horribly singed and ruined curtains they had just put up was a testament to that.
Mamoru pinched the bridge of his nose while Joey grinned sheepishly. “To be fair…you did say that we should get new curtains…”
“We just put those up!”
“….yeah, I know, that was a shitty excuse, even for me.” Joey deflated with a sigh as he placed a pillow under Kaoru’s head, he had placed her on the couch after she had passed out but not before being grilled by Mamoru on what the hell just happened, why is Kaoru unconscious in their living room, and why are the curtains so badly damaged, which lead them to now.
“Is she going to be okay, at least?” Mamoru asked, keeping an eye on the unconscious Kaoru, while she was more of Joey’s friend, the two of them do manage to get along well, especially since they both work with computers. Joey looked at the purple haired girl and nodded, while he hadn’t known Kaoru for a long time, he was familiar with the girl’s horrendous sleeping habits…minus the sleeping. “Yeah, this happens a lot, she’ll be fine and besides, a friend of mine is coming to pick her up in a little bit.”
Mamoru nodded, somewhat satisfied with his answer before turning back to the curtains, really he wasn’t that pressed about it and honestly he found the situation pretty funny, he knew that hijinks and the like would become the norm when dating someone like Joey but it seems that everyday seemed to find a new way to keep him on his toes.
Joey, seeing where his boyfriend had set his sight on, moved to where he was and pulled him into a hug, nuzzling his neck and looked at him with apologetic eyes. “I’m sorry about the curtains, I promise we’ll replace them.” He said and Mamoru shook his head and lifted a hand to ruffle Joey’s blonde locks, “Don’t worry about it, they’re just curtains, what I’m thinking about is how badass that lightsaber is, you do realize you definitely need to go as Luke Skywalker this Halloween right?” He smiled and Joey grinned widely, pressing a huge kiss to his cheek.
“Babe, I love you so much but we both know that I’m a Han Solo guy.”
Thank you for the gift!
#hypmic#hypmic oc#hypnosis mic#hypnosis mic oc#hypnosis microphone#joey kurusu#mamoru hirano#kaoru shinozaki#lilyspade#happy birthday joey 2023#gift
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To answer your question about what helps adhd-era focus; enough caffeine to kill an elephant
dont tempt me anon bc weird thing abt caffeine for me is that it either works rlly well or makes me sleepy BUT thank u for the advice !!
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the adhd urge to go back to school because there you have Goals and Deadlines and Structure and enough panic to write fifteen essays in three days, only enhanced by enough caffeine to kill an elephant. ahh the good old days
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Just Fucking Write 2k24: Day 3
Prompt:
WC: 195
“I’d ask if you’re okay, but you’re obviously not,” the boy said.
“Me?” Yoongi asked. “I’m not the one who just chugged enough caffeine to kill an elephant.”
“I’m not the one who looks like he’s going to have a heart attack,” the boy replied. He held out his hand. “Taehyung.”
“Yoongi,” he replied as he took it.
“If it makes you feel any better, I did look up how much caffeine a human body can handle. I actually don’t like coffee, but this 7am shit is killing me,” Taehyung told him.
“Who thought putting a course major requirement at 7am was a good idea, anyway?” Yoongi asked.
“Your overworked and underpaid professor,” their professor interjected. Both of them jumped and faced forward. “Now can we start or are we waiting for Mr Kim’s heart to stop?”
“I’m good,” Taehyung replied. Yoongi nodded, like he had any control over Taehyung’s metabolic reactions.
“Good, now to continue from last class,”
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