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#BATMAN? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING
p0ssym1lker · 1 year
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After two years of ghost hunting, Danny is like "okay, break time" and uses to the infinity map to travel through dimensions.
Like Dani but multiple universe just meet this ghostly kid.
Normally he tries to keep a low profile, and succeeds. Normally being the keyword.
Because really, how was he supposed to know this world has superheros? And have their station in space of all things!
Now he's got these guys on his tail (pun intended)
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kaidatheghostdragon · 4 months
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Crack prompt: Danny has declared war on the curses in Gotham. He is armed with a water balloon gun, but the balloons are full of medical-grade ectoplasm. He targets any location, ghost, or liminal being tainted by curses and/or corrupted ecto - absolutely drenching them before yeeting off again.
This includes the Bats. Danny is smart about it, though. He lived in Gotham for several months before acting, so he could get the lay of the land. He also waits for patrol to be finished before hitting the Bats - he doesn't want to interrupt their Quest to Better Gotham (or be labeled an invader to their haunt).
One night, Danny happens upon Batman patrolling alone and waits for him to finish cleaning up a crime scene before hitting they guy with a half-clip of balloons. Batman gives chase, like he always does, and Danny runs, like he always does. He knows by now that, for whatever reason, Crime Alley is off limits to Batman. The whole alley just gives off "no (other) bats allowed" vibes.
Red hood is just more territorial. Whatever.
At any rate, Danny is enjoying the chase, using just enough ghost powers to stay ahead of batman, almost-but-not-quite taunting him. Crime Alley isn't too far, so instead of turning invisible around a corner like he usually does, he makes his way to the Alley to see if the no-trasspassing rule is enough to stop Batman mid-chase. He leaps across rooftops and weaves through fire escapes, ecto-balloon-gun bouncing by its strap against his back, until finally he's at the border, slightly tapping into flight to make the jump across a slightly wider road into the alley proper.
He turns around immediately, spotting Batman skulking on the rooftop on the other side of the road, stopping the chase and suit half-covered in healing ectoplasm.
"Sanctuary!" Danny yells, pumping his fists in the air from getting caught up in the exciting rush of adrenaline, "I claim sanctuary!"
"Who the fuck is claiming sanctuary in my territory?" Red Hood booms from almost directly behind Danny. He would have yeeted out of his own skin from surprise if he hadn't spent years honing his ghost-fighting instincts. As it was, Danny instead whirled around and emptied the clip of balloons into Hood, purely out of reflex.
Hood stood there, drenched in ecto like his fellow Bat one rooftop over, glaring murder at Danny with glowing eyes. But his haunt betrayed Hood's true emotions.
Surprise, concern, impressed, you-little-brat.
Danny booked it to the fire escape and turned invisible the second he was out of sight.
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spacedace · 1 year
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Bruce is grateful for the fact that Damian has made friends, he is.
He's happy that his son has met children his own age at school and befriended them. That he is growing from that prickly, unhappy, scarred child he'd first been when he'd come to live with Bruce. That his friends are even normal kids - baring Jon, who is still normal enough despite being the son of Superman and occasionally a super hero himself - with no links to anything strange or dangerous or illegal.
"Oh, sup B."
He just wished that his son's friends were also just a little less...feral.
"Hello Elle."
Elle Nightingale gave him a little wave with the lemon she was holding - or as best as she could considering the space she was working with - and smiled cheekily at him. Bruce felt a headache budding behind his eyes.
"I thought Alfred banned you from the kitchen?" She shifted a bit, nudging a bottle of milk - farm fresh, courtesy of the Kents, passed along via Jon as thanks for looking after him for the weekend. Bruce wished he'd had the foresight to expect that Jonathan Kent staying over for the weekend would mean that Elle, her cousin Billy and their friend BL - the children refused to say the girl’s real name, likely to spite Damian, and thr initials had been a compromise to calling her Box Lunch - would take it as them being permitted to stay over for so long as well. Damian had just given Bruce a an unimpressed look when he'd expressed his surprise at the sudden influx of twelve year olds in his home. As if Bruce was disappointing him at being so foolish as to think his entire pack of hellhounds wouldn't be invading enmass.
"Just getting a snack." He assured her, not wanting her to being the wrath of Alfred down upon his head. The hellions liked doing that, for some reason. "I don't suppose you could tell me what exactly you're doing in my fridge." Bruce tried, looking at the girl curled up in what should have been a deeply uncomfortable position between a few shelves of the large appliance.
Elle grinned. Her canines looked a little too sharp in the odd light of the fridge. Bruce really had to stop thinking of his sons friends as demonic hellions, he was starting to impose impossible features on them when he was sleep deprived.
"We're playing hide and seek." She made direct, unblinking eye contact with him as she brought the whole lemon to her mouth and took a bite out of it like it was an apple. "It’s Day's turn to seek." She added, lemon juice dripping down her chin as she swallowed her bite, rind and all.
Well at least she was getting enough vitimin C.
"Right." He nodded, deciding that it wasn't cowardice that led him not wanting to get involved. No, it was just...good parenting. Letting the kids be kids. It was a sleepover, and Damian was actually playing a game! That was something to be encouraged! Bruce wasn't fleeing from this particular group of children's brand of chaos at all. "...could you hand me one of the fruit cups Alfred made earlier?"
Elle obliged on the condition Bruce didn't tell Damian about her hiding spot and returned to happily eating her...whole lemon...as he shut the fridge door on her.
As he returned to his office he glanced out one of the manor's large windows long enough to see Billy stick his head out from the top of the twelve foot tall topiaries out on the front lawn, checking to see if Damian was about. Bruce shook his head, kids and their ability to climb impossible structures never ceased to amaze him. Billy should be careful not to keep trying to peak for Damian though, he was going to end up getting found that way.
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umbrellacam · 7 months
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Batman (1940) #516
sad Bat gremlin mercilessly roasted by bitter ex-bff, attempts to curl into a sad pillbug vortex of darkness. reports indicate he is indeed Very Pitiful and ex-bff is very cruel and heartless not to care. more at 11
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the-wandering-mage · 3 months
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I've seen a lot of Batfam meets the Justice League fics where Batman has hidden his family. I'd really like a Batfam meets the Justice League fic where he doesn't try to hide his family no. The Batman who loves scaring people, popping out of shadows, disappearing into them, and overall just fucking with people, the head of the chaotic Batfam, he knowing that the other heros don't know a lot of what goes on in Gotham so he just pretends like they know. He tells them it's Oracle's system that runs watchtower and he make a bunch of vague references to the other bats knowing they are going to take it a different way. He doesn't try to hide his relationship with the other bats when his kids and their teams run into the Justice League. He just sits back and watches the chaos as the leaguers try to make their perception of The Batman fit with what they are seeing.
And his kids and their teams? Well they should have believed them when they said Batman was they're dad. It's not their fault they thought they were joking. Even Alfred is in on it making calls to watchtower and Titan's tower about being home in time for dinner and forgetting their lunches at home. Alfred is happy how this is bringing them together and that Bruce is making friends.
Meanwhile the Hero community is scared shitless about Batman's retired dad that doesn't have a no kill rule. They've never met him in person but the overall respect of the Batfam has towards Agent A as well as the fact he raised Batman makes them never want to meet him or for him to feel a need to come out of retirement.
***
"oh Batman isn't the head of the Batfamily"
"what?"
"Agent A is"
***
"who's scarier than Batman?", one of the leaguers asks rhetorically
Batfam member who pops up behind them from the shadows, "Agent A, he doesn't have a no kill rule"
"who's Agent A?"
"The man who raised Batman"
The leaguer who once referred to him as that old guy that answers the batcave phone: 😨
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Corpse AU DPxDC
After the portal accident Danny leaves “half” a body, he hides it from his parents for a while but eventually he can’t hide it in amity anymore due to it setting off ghost tech.
After Jazz finds out he’s phantom they go on a cross country road trip to hide the not decaying body from his parents somewhere that can obscure it’s ecto signature.
Leading them to a random Gotham cemetery phasing it under a grave with enough ambient ectoplasm to cover up Danny’s own.
The grave, one of a boy that died only a year prior, Jason Todd’s.
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th3e-m4ng0 · 1 year
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an old, retired warrior
#transformers#art#optimus prime#au#optimus but what if he was old. angry at everyone and everything and lurked in the shadows#and if he also wore a cool (but dirty) cloth to hide his identity#what if ppl thought he died. so they mourn his passing in a ceremony. which he walked into to see whats up and then looks at his face in a#BIG HOLOGRAM and he's just standing there like “huh rip that guy i guess. never liked him” and left#not wanting to hear what megatron would say about him#(megs would be cybertron's leader !!!)#but megs would walk up and say to the public. genuinely teary eyed. how much his passing impacted him and how much he misses his old foe#and everyone would whisper old stories about optimus. remembering how nice he was and how skilled he was in the battlefield#why did he leave. you wonder. i dont know i made this up on the spot#maybe someone told him very mean (horrible) things about how his leadership style was going to doom cybertron or how he was surely going to#end up manipulating megatron and/or going to kill him and all the decepticons#maybe that someone was megatron and he said that stuff out of anger and didnt FULLY mean that#so he was like “ok then”. packed hastily and left without ppl knowing. so whoever entered his room after many days of “sulking” found it#all trashed and assumed the worst#and what does he do... save mechs from crimes like batman. but only when he's around and that's when he's low on energon and needs to get#more (not very frecuently). he's like a cryptid#other than that? build stuff idk. i like to imagine he's an engineer#he lives far. far away from society like the emo old man he is. perhaps near the sea of rust where he knows ppl wont get close#this wont make any sense i gave it like 5 minutes of thought. i just wanted to make an angry optimus design
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phoenixcatch7 · 1 year
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I know 'person with secret to hide spots other person with secret to hide but doesn't say anything' is like. Thee trope in superhero crossovers, but come on! Some of these guys have been doing this for decades! There's tons of heroes that have gone to pretty extreme lengths to be Completely Imperceptible in civilian life.
Don't you think it's scarier, after all is said and done, to sit there and think I didn't notice a thing? I wouldn't have ever realised? I would never have known? To know that someone you were familiar with - close with, even! - had this whole other personality and skillset and powers and experiences and life just behind the curtain, and they hid it so completely you didn't even see it was there.
'I always knew there was something off' what if you didn't. How world shaking would it be to be so utterly blindsided? To know that this person had somehow learned to so deceptive?
#Strongly inspired by the dp x dc where Danny knows what up IMMEDIATELY or a bat clocks Danny as super suspicious within mins of meeting#Or the amount of reveal fics caused by the hero slipping up in some stupid way and getting themselves doxxed against their will#Like come on!! Full time heroes like superman or batman or Spidey go to great lengths to construct an entirely separate civilian persona!#And yes I know they've had their idiot moments when it comes to their identities but they've kept their secret rock solid for irl DECADES#What's an identity reveal without drama!! Shake it up! Stir the pot! Not a slow and gradual build up of suspicion and stress#But two high speed trains coming at right-angles and the audience is the only one who can see the incoming crash#Twist the knife in if you want. Make it HURT. Make it completely rewrite what they believed.#Short ID reveals are great for this because you can SEE the ripple effects spreading out as the story ends. Just BANG.#But also no ID reveal at all. The main character goes through the story regularly interacting with and developing character right alongside#A hero in hiding and no one is ever the wiser. You're a worker in WE fending off attempts to steal your inventions and Bruce Wayne#Invites you to his office to discuss security and he walks you back to your office when you get nervous about a break in.#You're struggling with school bullies and getting into trouble over your photography hobby and Peter Parker is right there alongside#You complaining about rich kids and fiddling with the outdated finicky lenses you got from the school.#You're a reporter unpicking a mystery scandal and you ask resident tank Clark Kent if he's able to play bodyguard if you go somewhere shady#The reader knows. No one else notices a thing.#And besides focusing on the civilian side is a nice change of pace! Let's see how they manage leading double lives!#What do I even tag this#batman#superman#Marvel#Dcu#spiderman#secret identity#identity reveal#long tags#captain marvel#miraculous ladybug#I know I know#hero and villain
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elizabethemerald · 1 year
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DP/DC Imbalanced Light
AO3 
PREV
Duke was one of the first back to the Batcave when the message came through that Bruce was bringing in an injured child. He was quickly joined by the rest of the family. Most injured parties were brought straight to a hospital, no matter their age, so the entire Bat clan were curious about what made this case stand out. A potential new sibling was an all hands on deck sort of event. 
Cass and Steph joined next, Dick was picking up Dr. Thompkins, Tim had been coordinating the Bats from the Cave so was already there. Jason and Damian would probably join later, they had been further out when the call came in but Duke doubted even the two angriest members of the family would miss out on the excitement. 
Everyone currently in the cave gathered close when the Batmobile roared into the cave. Though they easily parted to allow Alfred through to Bruce’s side. The two of them pulled a young boy out of the side seat of the Batmobile. Duke grimaced behind his helmet. The kid may be the same age as Tim, or thereabouts, but he still looked far worse for wear. There was blood coating the front of his shirt and he looked far too small, like he hadn’t been eating properly. 
With a gasp the boy in Bruce’s arms was jostled awake. He tried to squirm out of his hold, but Bruce managed to keep him in hand. Eventually the boy’s wild eyes settled on the Batfam and seemed to calm. He reached a shaky, blood covered hand out to the group as Bruce carried him toward the medical room in the Batcave. 
“Signal? Wait, I need to talk to Signal! Signal!” The boy desperately cried, trying once again to fight his way out of Bruce’s hold. 
Duke was honestly surprised that the kid was calling for him. Signal was hardly the best known of Gotham’s heroes and he felt like most kids were either interested in talking to one of the Robins considering they were usually closest in age, or to Nightwing because Dick was friendly. However with a kid clearly in distress Signal followed as Bruce carried the kid into the medical room. 
“I need to talk to Signal.” The kid was telling Bruce, trying to push Alfred’s hands away from him. 
“Danny, please-” 
“No! I have to talk to him! I have to talk to him alone!” 
Alfred looked carefully at the kid, Danny apparently, then stepped back. 
“Please make the conversation quick. You are still in need of medical care, Master Daniel.”
“It’s Danny, and fine.” 
Alfred and Bruce stepped out and the glass door of the medical room closed behind them. Duke however had eyes only for the kid in front of him. Danny was obviously in pain. He kept one hand pressed tightly to his chest, and a grimace on his face. There were also several scars that ran up his neck, the worst of which was the Litchenberg figures that crept up his neck and scattered across one side of his face, even going through one of his eyes. To Duke’s Ghost Vision the scars seemed to glow and pulse, as if still remembering the electricity that had caused them. 
Danny looked at him desperately, fear marring his face as he nervously glanced towards where Bruce and Alfred had stepped out before meeting his gaze again. Duke wasn’t sure what he needed, but wanted to get this conversation over with before Dick arrived with Dr. Thompkins. She didn’t appreciate being kept waiting when she had a patient. 
“So, your name is Danny right?” Duke asked. 
“The forums say you’re a meta.” Danny asked instead of answering. His voice came out quiet and low as if he were telling a secret. “Is that true?”
Duke put out his hand, and created a small firework display across his palm with his photokinesis. It was the same trick he did when he ran into small scared children as Signal. Just something light and silly to break the tension and it did seem to bring Danny’s focus off his injuries. 
“Yes, I’m a meta.”
“Everyone knows Batman hates metas.” Danny said, glancing nervously at the door again, his voice dropping further into a whisper. “Does he hate you? Are you forced to help him? Does he… do experiments on you?”
Duke let his hand drop out of sight of Danny as he lay on the bed in the med bay. He clenched his hand into a tight fist. Dammit Bruce. You and your stupid rules. He could see that Danny was clearly just about out of his mind with fear and just as obviously had some bad experiences that were weighing on him. Duke needed to calm him down enough for Alfred and Leslie to take of him and quickly. He took a deep breath and kept his voice soft as he started speaking. 
“Batman doesn’t hate metas. He doesn’t like other heroes like Superman coming into Gotham when they don’t know how this city works. Many of our rogues are simply humans with mental illness. Even most of the goons are just poor people who are desperate for work. They don’t need some super powered demi-god smacking them down. And he’s eased up on that a lot recently.” Duke took a moment to gather his thoughts. He could hear Dick’s car driving into the cave and knew that Leslie Thompkins had arrived. “Batman has been nothing but kind to me since my parents died. He’s trained me to help protect the city I grew up in. He may not be perfect, but he won’t hurt you, and I won’t let him if he tries.” 
Danny nodded a few times, his eyes downcast, as if trying to convince himself of something before he finally looked back up at Duke. 
“I’m- I’m sort of like you.” Danny whispered. “I’m like a meta.”
The words seemed like they were physically painful for Danny to say, and considering how tightly most metas held onto the secret of their powers that wasn’t too surprising. Duke didn’t have the time to puzzle out what exactly “like a meta” meant as opposed to just being a meta, but he knew at least he could provide Danny with some comfort. 
“Well, Danny, one meta to another, I promise you Batman won’t hurt you because of your power. While you’re here you’re safe.” Duke looked up as a knock sounded at the door to the med bay. He could see Leslie and Alfred standing on the other side of the glass door. “Agent A has helped me a lot when I’ve been injured and Dr. T has cared for a lot of people, including metas that have come through her clinic. You’ll be safe with them. May I let them in?” 
Danny took just a moment longer to think about it before he nodded. 
“Will you stay with me?” His words sounded so pained and scared that Duke couldn't help but agree immediately. 
He opened the door for Alfred and Leslie, then turned his back to remove his helmet and apply a paper surgical mask. He scrubbed his hands just as the other two did before rejoining Danny at the bedside. Once the door was closed and the older two were getting ready, Duke addressed Danny. 
“Is there anything about your physiology that would be different from a non meta?” He said the words loud enough to clue in the other two. Danny nodded and gripped the rails on the patient bed tightly in fear. 
“My core temperature, heart rate and respiration rate are lower than a standard human’s.” He recited the words like he had rehearsed them many times. “My blood is considered a hazard and needs to be destroyed, preferably by incineration.” 
“Is your blood radioactive?” Thompkins asked, her experience helping other metas would be invaluable with helping Danny. 
“Radioactive?” Danny seemed confused by the question for a moment before shaking his head. “No, it’s uh, corrosive I think? Jazz didn't mention radioactivity when she gave me the script to memorize.” 
Leslie carefully cut Danny free of his blood soaked hoodie and shirt. Duke again had to clench his hand into a fist at the sight of a Y shaped incision that spanned Danny’s entire torso. Like an autopsy. Or vivisection. The cut had been messily stitched and stapled closed, but Danny had clearly popped a few stitches when he panicked after seeing Bruce. Surrounding the largest injury were numerous scars. Small burns, stab wounds, the Litchenberg figures continued across his torso and several precise cuts that could only be the result of deliberate torture or experimentation. 
Alfred raised his eyebrow, but didn’t comment as the two of them set to work examining the injuries. Leslie’s lips pressed into a thin line and she also kept her comments to herself. Danny seemed grateful for their reticence. Duke knew he had seen a lot of the worst of the worst during his time as a vigilante in Gotham, but this still pushed it to another level. Danny was as scarred as any of the Robins except for Jason. 
The two healers worked quickly cleaning and dressing each of the wounds, though the largest still needed more work. The lights over head flickered with each deep breath Danny took as they cared for his injuries. Duke used his powers to keep the lights steady for their work. 
“Master Danny, we will need to remove the old stitching and staples to properly close and stitch your largest injury.” Alfred said. “We can apply an IV to let you sleep through the procedure.”
Danny was already shaking his head. 
“Doesn’t work on me.” He hissed out past his gritted teeth. 
“We have meta-strength-”
“Doesn’t work on me.” Danny shook his head again. “Even the strongest painkillers and anesthetics burn off almost immediately.” 
“You have an enhanced metabolism?” Leslie asked. 
Danny shrugged, then pressed his head back against the pillow. “I was awake when mom did this to me, I can handle you fixing it awake too.” 
He refused to look at anyone else in the room even as looks of fury and rage crossed each of their faces. He reached out blindly and Duke took his hand to hold. Leslie and Alfred grimaced but nodded. If they didn’t want Danny to bleed out they needed to fix the slap-dash stitches and staples. 
Danny didn’t scream while they worked and while he gripped Duke’s hand tightly, he clearly wasn’t using even a portion of his full strength. The metal of the bed frame squeaked and whined in protest as he gripped it hard enough to leave a handprint in the metal. 
Whatever Danny’s ability was combined with his own Ghost vision to create disturbing images flash around Danny’s body, like an after image on a dark night. Neither Alfred nor Leslie reacted, so it was clear Duke was the only person who could see them. Each lingered in his eyes for a moment before fading to nothingness before being replaced by the next. 
He saw two people, one a woman and the other man with a build similar to Bruce’s leaning over Danny’s body, blades in their hands and macabre smiles etched into their faces. He saw a flaming crown burning in the air over Danny’s head. He saw two teens Danny’s age and someone only slightly older trying to lift and carry Danny while obviously fighting with someone. 
Frozen fractals appeared in the afterimages, growing with each after image into twisting and writhing tentacles. This was the most painful part of the operation as the two healers worked to pull out a staple that had gone through his skin into his sternum. Danny arched his back, his breathing coming in slow pants. When he opened his eyes they glowed like Jason’s did. Danny’s ears grew pointed and where he was biting his lip to keep from screaming his fangs grew long and pointed. Finally Danny couldn’t take any more and blacked out fully, his eyes rolling back into his head. 
For a short time the afterimages still burned their way into Duke’s vision. The fractal tentacles continued to writhe before fading. A man appeared before Duke, looking down at Danny’s body in distress. He was wearing a long, hooded cloak. In the next flash he was suddenly an old man, looking beaten and worn by the passage of time. Then he was suddenly a young child, younger even than Damian, staring down at Danny with that same distress clear on his face. Finally the man returned to his original age and looked up to meet Duke’s eyes. His head tilted to the side in curiosity before he glanced down at a pocket watch that was hanging from his cloak and gave it a firm nod and disappeared. 
The last of the flickering images slowly vanished as well, Alfred and Leslie still not noticing them at all, as the two of them finished their work and settled a blanket over Danny’s heavily bandaged torso. Duke patted Danny’s limp hand with his own before he left the med bay. The rest of the Bat fam were gathered around, but Duke made his way straight to Bruce. As he went Cass came and put a supportive hand on his shoulder. He wondered idly what his body language was telling her that had her reaching out at this moment. 
“You need to do some serious PR work on Batman’s views of metas.” Duke said shortly to Bruce. He didn’t really care what his mentor’s motivations were, they needed to change and they needed to let the public know. 
“The kid’s a meta?” Jason asked, leaning forward. 
Duke nodded, still not taking his eyes off Bruce. 
“I don’t know what he thought you would do to him, either run him off or cut him open.” Duke hesitated as he examined the momentary grief that appeared in Bruce’s eyes. “Again. Cut him open again. Someone vivisected him.”
A sharp noise sounded as something snapped in Jason’s hands. Red Hood had green light blazing in his eyes as Dick immediately moved to grab his shoulder, whether to comfort him or to hold him back, Duke didn’t know. Bruce leaned forward, his face once again stoic. 
“What are your thoughts on his abilities?” He asked. 
If Duke wasn't so suddenly exhausted he would either roll his eyes or join Jason in trying to tear Bruce a new one. Of course when he’s distressed he falls back on old, bad habits. Examining threats and planning counter plans. 
“Alfred and Leslie know enough about him to care for him for now. You can ask about the rest of his powers once he’s up and about.” Duke said. He wasn’t going to reveal Danny’s clearly hard fought secrets. “The one thing I will say is that while we can expect him to be fragile, we cannot treat him with kid gloves. Danny’s got more scars than anyone I’ve ever seen who isn’t a bat. He’s clearly a fighter and deserves to be treated like one.” 
Duke turned away. He needed to be done. He needed to just shut his brain off for a little. 
“I’m taking the next couple of days off patrol. Can someone cover for me?” 
He was half afraid that someone would accuse him of trying to cheat his way into the spot of best brother for their new potential sibling. Instead Stephanie and Dick immediately volunteered to help cover some of the daylight patrols. 
Duke walked away, calling the shadows of the cave to him. With a family half raised or trained by ninjas they were all used to using the shadows and darkness to their advantage. But none of them could command the shadows and make the darkness answer their call like Duke could. The darkness of the cave swallowed him, hiding him completely from sight as he searched for some place to sit and think about everything he had just seen. Everything that Danny must have gone through. 
@starkcravingmad, @blacksea21090, @rainybyday
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abyssling · 1 year
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Once again, how do we get here from there?? 🥲
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oifaaa · 1 year
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Tim watches ben Shapiro
Now hang on there Tim used to watch Ben shapiro we gotta recognise the little growth Tim has had as a character it reinforces good behaviour
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You gave me thought with the Mentor Tim to the Damian and the Gremlin Guild.
"Why are we learning team sports! This is supposed to be training."
"My team had to overthrow a government with Baseball."
- - - - - -
"Mr Red theoretically if I wanted to buy something expensive but didn't want to get it caught on the Justice Leagues radar where would I get the funds."
"Let me show you how to hide it in Batman's Baterang budget."
- - - - - -
"- and that is why you shouldn't run around the globe searching for clues without at least telling one person where you are."
"But you didn't."
"I lost a vital organ, I shouldn't be the role model."
"Than why were you put in charge of us?"
"Because the last time the robot was in charge of mentoring a team they ended up codependent and feral."
"But your team was the-"
"Exactly."
HOW DARE YOU BE FUNNIER THAN ME/lh
Okay but seriously i love this so so much its the perfect addition to my post this should be its own post
everyone come look at this!!!
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spacedace · 11 months
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Dp x dc idea:
Danny & Co joining the Justice League and everything...but it's that wonderful DC AU where Bruce died in Ethiopia instead of Jason and Tim decided to be Dad (TM) of Jason's Robin and runs around as kid Batman for awhile (eventually becoming full legit Batman).
Danny & Co joining up after all of that, they have only known Tim as Batman (and for fun let's make this Brian Dead where Danny & Tim are dating, or are dancing around each other, maybe Super Brain Dead because I love Kon being involved).
Anyway, Tim is Danny & the Pham's Batman...and then they ended up accidently in the normal DC universe and meet Bruce Wayne Batman and immediately are like "Press X For Doubt" about the whole thing
Danny, squinting suspiciously: who the fuck are you?
Bruce: I'm Batman
Danny: No the fuck you aren't
Elle: Yeah no way, I know Batman, Batman's a sleep deprived twink
Tim (as Red Robin) walks in
Danny: holy shit they fucking shrunk Red Robin
Tim: What??
Elle: Okay what the fuck, first Batman isn't a twink and now Red Robin is???
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forevercloudnine · 2 years
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Love that Bruce was put in charge of Arkham Asylum for about five whole minutes before deciding the most efficient course of action was to drug all of villains into unconsciousness
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fandombrainrots · 1 year
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I wanna mess with the polls like the gremlin I am ε=ε=┌(; ̄◇ ̄)┘
For the record these are all random so even I don’t know what draft will get picked lmao
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nerdpoe · 10 months
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If Post-COIE/Pre-Zero Hour Batman found a broken time travel device, re-made it, traveled through the time stream to a few minutes before his parents were murdered, stopped Chill from killing them by violently punching the thug, but not killing him, went back to the time stream before he vanishes and ended up in a different present time line than the one he'd existed in (with another Bruce there), what would the Dark Knight do next? Btw, this scenario takes place shortly after Batman: Year One.
Watch his parents die as an adult instead, if it's the new timeline created by stopping Chill. His family line is cursed thanks to him, remember, and curses cannot be dodged so easily.
Before we argue the pre vs post and whether or not that would negate the curse, the curse has always been on the Wayne bloodline ever since Anna put it there, regardless of whether or not Bruce had gone back in time yet. Considering the rule of paradoxes, he's already gone back in time because he always will do it/has done it/is destined to do it.
Now in the event that he jumped to a different timeline entirely; if it's year one Batman and current Batman Year One Batman would absolutely try to punch him in the face.
He would lose, of course, but he would try.
After that, Year One Batman...hmm.....
I dunno. I don't really like him, so I never really got into his story. When people tell me year one, I tend to think irl chronologically. But like, legit "Year One" Batman was way too edgelord for me.
I think Jason would love to have a go at him, though.
Only one person may hold the crown of supreme edgelord, after all.
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